#um signs of life from the man but no sign of the next drama yet waaaaaah

[bubblegeon]

LEE SOO HYUK in A Channel's COHABITATION, NOT MARRIAGE [02.2023]

[cosmic-rainestorm]

Jealousy looks good on you - Brainy x reader

Warning:jealous Brainy. Also spoilers for S5E10.

This was requested by @diva-1992

It was strange to say the least, seeing multiple versions of your boyfriend in the same room. Ever since crisis and the rebirth of the Earth, many things have changed. A few examples is the fact that there is no more multiverse, everyone we have met on the different earth's is on one earth, Lex Luthor is liked by people and now there is multiple Brainiac 5's.

Other than the initial strangeness, the initial incident of when they all saw you and the mild discomfort from how the other Brainy's looked at you that went after a couple of minutes, you found it absolutely hilarious how they all contrasted from each other. Plus, they were generally great people to be around once the staring got to a bearable amount.

Happy Querl was easy to talk to and very enthusiastic, maybe a tad bit too much. Scared Querl had great fashion style and could have a nice conversation with once he wasn't in a constant jittering mess. Female Querl was confident and was straight to the point whilst also considering her words, although she could be kind of cold at moments. However none of them were the true Brainy, your Brainy. The one you fell in love with. He was a mix of all three but even better, and you loved him for him.

He, however, couldn't get past his own insecurities and jealousy over how well you got on with the others, and what they all did when they saw.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Situated in the room where eyepatch Brainy was left to rest, you couldn't help but feel sadness towards the man laying in front of you. He looked exactly like your Querl, except for the eyepatch, so how could you not feel an emotion to a dead man who looks identical to the one you love, even if you are yet to say it.

Prime Brainy strode into the room, pulling you out of your thoughts almost instantaneously. He pulled you into a hug and kiss you softly on the head in a form of reassurance that things would be okay.

"Brainy, I-I know that it isn't you lying on that table, but hunny, I can't help but feel grief towards him," you whispered to your partner "he looks exactly like you, probably thought like you as well, I can't help think of what his life was like on his Earth, if he found someone who got him like you and I get each other. Plus, knowing there is a killer coming after Brainiac 5's doesn't help ease any worries that you could be next. I-I-I can't lose you Querl."

Tear started pricking in your eyes at the mere thought of losing your Brainy and he could clearly tell the rodeal was upsetting you. As a couple of tears started falling down your cheeks, Brainy cupped you face ever so softly to try and centre you as he spoke,

"y/n, if you are feeling guilt for grieving for this man, don't. Your right, he does look like me, except for the eyepatch, sprock it is cool," he exclaimed with a small smile making you laugh "and he probably thought like me as well. If anything, you feeling grief towards my doppelganger shows how much you care about me, and it flatters me. And darling, you don't need to worry about me dying anytime soon. I'm not ready to leave you and I won't be for a very long time. Everyone is trying to figure out how exactly eyepatch me died and how to stop it should it happen again. In mean time, do not worry about whether I am alright or not okay?"

"Okay"

With that, you both got back to work to try an figure out how the other Brainiac 5's got to your Earth. However, that got disruptive when a certain ponytailed Colouan squealed your name and pulled you into a kiss, leaving both you and Querl stunned to say the least.

"Sprock y/n, I am so glad you made to see you, but why are you on this Earth?"

After the initial stun of the kiss, you blinked your back into exist to see two very similar but different Brainy's infront of you. I didn't help that when the other Brainiac's walked into the room, they also kissed you (angsty Querl on the top of your head and Female Querl also on the lips) and asked the same question. All you could do was stand there frozen until you fully comprehend what ahd just happened.

"Ummmmm, I'm on this Earth because I - live - hereee, " you uneasily resonded "I'm y/f/n y/l/n, I'm uh guessing you knew my dopplegangers huh."

You laughed slightly xnot knowing how to act as they all gave you looks of apologises. However your Brainy seemed to look more pissed off than apologetic to what just happened. Especially since his fist was slightly clenched whilst he rested his face atop it.

"Yes, it seems they do," he gritted out when suddenly he became very calm "y/n, do you mind if I have a word with my fellow Brainiac's, I would like to ask them questions surrounding how they got here but would prefer to ask them alone."

He simply smiled at you waiting for your answer. If you were honest, it not only scared you a little, but also intrigued you.

" Um yes of course dear. I have diagnostics to run anyway. It was uh lovely meeting you all."

With that, you left the room that all the Brainiac's were situatedto run diagnostics and simulations to try and solve their problem, whilst also getting away from all the staring and awkwardness of what just happened . However, Brainy wanted to know the reason as to why the other 3 were continuously looking at you and to why they kissed you

"If you don't mind me asking, why exactly were did all three of you kissed MY y/n"

All three turned to each other then looked at him. It wasn't until female Brainy spoke up did he get his answer.

"Well on my Earth, y/n was my wife for a year and a half and my partner for 4"

"Ah yes, she was also my girlfriend for 2 years, 7 months and 13.5 days. And what a tremendous girlfriend she is, well was I guess." Happy Brainy explained with a hint of sadness.

"ye-yes, y/n was m-my girlfriend for nearly 3 years as w-w-well. I loved her dearly, I would do absolutely anyth-thing for her."

Brainy was finding this hard to comprehend. Not only were they all him, they all had relationships with their Earths' version of you. It gave him a strange feeling, a feeling he severely did not like.

With his anxieties running wild, he left the room to run calculations and to try and keep his mind off the whole scenario.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was only two hours later when you found Brainy huddled up in a spare room with a tablet. The other three had apologised to you and aexplained their situations and how it would take getting used being around a y/n that wasn't their own.

Leaning against the wall, you admired the Coluan that you were in love with and smiled softly to yourself.

"So, this is were you've been hiding, I was starting to worry darling."

After not getting an answer back which was odd to say the least, you started to get worried about Brainy.

"Brainy, are you okay. Is the other Brainiacs being here cause you to stress." you softly asked

No answer, only the soft murmuring of jumbled words could be heard from Brainy, a sign of either he was deep in thought or highly stressed.

"Querl, what's wrong, please talk to me"

"why would it matter" he huffed angrily "you probably prefer talking to one of the other versions of me."

You couldn't believe what he was saying, why would you want to talk to the others, you had obviously gone looking for him so you could spend time together away from the drama.

And then it hit you. You almost scolded yourself for not noticing it sooner. The clenched fist, the sudden calm nature of his commanding question, the forced smile, and the lack of contact just now.

"You're jealous, aren't you?" you pondered aloud with a slight smirk.

The question caused his head to whip around to face you, making you smirk more out of amusment.

"I am not jealous" he slightly gritted out.

"Oh but I think you are dear"

"That is proposterus-"

"It isn't though, because all he telltale signs are the-hmph"

In an instant, you were backed up into the nearest wall, Brainy towering over you. His breathing heavy, his hair dishevelled and his dark eyes piercing into your's. (If this isn't definition of scared and horny I don't know what is)

"y/n I am not jealous. I just don't like when they look at you or when they are talking to you or when they are near you. Especially after they had l kissed you. This is highly rational since you are MY girlfriend and you are the person that I fell in love with and I don't want anyone to get in the way of us, not even my dopplegangers since I am that in love with you!" he huffed out.

It took you both awhile for his confession of love to dawn on the both of you. At this point, both of your breathing was slightly erratic due to his confession (and because of Brainy, I mean damn). Brainy couldn't read your reaction to his reveal, whether you were happy, sad or confused. He was about to say he was sorry when your lips started to curl upwards into a smile that could only be described as full of love and adoration.

"I love you too, I have for a long time though I just didn't know how to tell you. And Querl, no one can get in the way of that, not even your dopplegangers, because they aren't you, they aren't the Coluan I fell so deeply in love with."

Brainy was ecstatic and so full of emotions that he leant down and kissed you feverishly on the lips, pouring every emotion he felt for you into that kiss, which you reciprocated with ease.

"Agent y/l/n, Director Danvers would like to see you"

Breaking apart with a slight gasp for air, you leant your forehead against Brainy's, slowly bringing your breathing back to a normal pace.

"How about when I've finished talking to Alex, you and me can work together to figure how the other Brainiac's got to our Earth. And once we have it all sorted out, you and me can go back to my place, order takeout and watch some movies. That sound good.

"Yes, I would very much like that, my love."

As you slowly walked towards the door to leave, a grin appeared on your face as you turned back to Brainy.

"Oh and by the way. You look extremely hot when your jealous love."

BONUS:

As Brainy entered the main control room, he saw you, Kara, Alex and the other Brainiac's standing around the main control panel.

With jealousy still coursing through him, Querl strode towards you and pulled you into a passionate kiss, shocking the others.

As he pulled away, he turned to his dopplegangers and smiled.

"y/n, is mine, got it"

Once they had all nodded, he walked away with a grin, leaving you a blushing mess and ran after him to slightly scold him.

---------------------------------------------------

AHHHHHHHHH, I HAD SO MUCH FUN WRITING THIS.

14th May - just proof read it as I saw some misspellings

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Love and Medicine ~ 7

MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 4,400ish

Summary: Clint has feelings. You try not to cause too much drama at work.

You immediately began avoiding Steve after Gamora caught you two in the car. You need not need her, or anyone else, thinking that you were sleeping with him to get ahead. Having no desire to get ready for work, you laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, as your alarm buzzed.

Outside in the hall, Clint was nervously walked towards your door with two cups of coffee.

“Wouldn’t it be easier to just ask her out?” Valkyrie suddenly asked, popping out of her room.

“Ah!” Clint jumped, slipping the coffees on him. “Val!”

“She’s right, ya know?” Scott added, stepping out of his room. “Just ask her out. It’s not like it will be awkward when she tells you no.”

“I hate you both,” Clint grumbled. He leaned into your door, able to hear to slam on the snooze button for the third time. “She’s gonna be late.”

“Maybe not.”

“We should wait for her.”

“Definitely not,” Val shook her head. “I’m not her mother, and you are not her boyfriend.”

“Not yet, anyway,” Scott added.

“Stop, both of you, okay?” Clint said, frustrated. “I told you I’m not interested.”

“Life is short, Clint,” Val said, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Do you really want to die before you ever ask her out?”

“I do not want to ask her out.”

“Do you really want to die a liar?” Scott said.

“I’m not… I’m not dying.”

~~~

From the parking garage, you rushed towards the building. Late for work. As you wait for the elevator, you see Steve coming toward you.

“Crap,” you mutter.

“Crap?” Steve repeated, having heard you.

“Hi. I’m late.”

“Hi, late. You’re avoiding me.”

“You’re right. But I can’t do this right now. I’m late.” You hurried towards the stairs, only for him to follow you.

“Okay, but are we going to talk about this?”

“No.” You marched up the stairs.

“About us and Gamora and what she saw?”

“I don’t need to talk about it. I experienced it. Naked.”

“This is getting complicated.”

“Complicated for me. Not necessarily for you. I’m the intern sleeping with the attending. Gamora isn’t even speaking to me anymore!”

“Not that, that’s a bad thing. If I was a better guy, I’d walk away.”

“Yes, you would.”

“Do you want me to be a better guy.”

“Yes. Now,” you reached the level of the locker rooms, “I’m late. Please leave me alone and get to my job.” You opened the door. Steve caught it, keeping it open as you walked away.

“Take your time! Think about it!”

“Think about what?” Tony asked, walking over to Steve. He looked to where Steve was looking, watching her rush down the all. “Ooohhh… I get it now. Well, at least she’s talking to you.”

“The date go bad with Pepper?” 

“It didn’t go at all. I was pulled into a surgery and completely forgot about it.”

“Yikes.”

“I think I’ve blown it.”

“Me too, Stark. Me too.”

~~~

“That was definitely worth being late,” Natasha sighed as she put on her pants.

“Thanks,” Bruce smiled shyly, doing the same. “Is this a… should we talk about this?”

“Yeah,” Natasha slipped her shirt on, “definitely. Just, I’m late.”

She rushed out of the on-call room and straight to the locker room, where you were getting ready.

“You’re late,” you stated.

“So are you,” Natasha responded.

“I know, and I can’t afford to piss off Gamora any more. Do you think she told anyone?”

“About you and Captain McDreamy?”

“Yeah.”

“No, he’s her boss too.”

“If they find out, what can they… Can they kick me out? Or—“

“No…. Well, I don’t think officially. You'll just get edged out, blacklisted, banned from his surgeries, passed over for chief resident. It’ll be humiliating, but you’ll live.”

“I have to end it. I definitely have to end it… I have to end it, right?”

“Y/N, shut up.” Nat headed out of the locker room.

“What?” You chased after her. “Did you seriously just tell me to shut up?”

“Oh, please. You got a hot doctor who like to make you open up, and say "ahh." It's the American dream, stop whining about it.”

“No. No good can come from sleeping with your boss.” You two arrived in front of Gamora.

“Natasha, you’re late,” Gamora stated, unhappy.

“So is Y/N,” Natasha replied, pointing at you.

“When we walk in this door, you will maintain decorum,” Gamora continued, ignoring Nat and you. “You will not laugh, vomit, or drop your jaw. Are we understood?” She walked to a door.

“Why would we laugh?” Val asked quietly.

“Oh, just you wait,” Peter replied.

The interns followed Gamora into a patient room. On the bed, there was a heavier woman with an extremely large tumor bulging out fo her side.

“Good morning, Miss Anderson,” Gamora greeted.

“Good Morning,” Miss Anderson, the patient, replied.

“What is it?” Scott whispered.

“Tumor,” Nat responded.

“Good morning, Millie,” Peter smiled, walking around to the other side of the patient’s bed. “How are you? This is Dr. Gamora and some of my fellow interns.”

“Dr. Quill, we refer to patients as ‘mister’ and—“ Gamora began to reprimand.

“I old him to call me Millie,” the patient interrupted. “Miss Anderson makes me feel old and fat, which I am, but why have to feel that way?”

“Good morning,” Dr. Banner greeted upon entering, eyes lingering on Natasha a beat too long.

“Millie, this is Dr. Banner,” Peter stated. 

“Dr. Quill, give us the run down.”

“Millie Anderson is a 43-year-old woman who presented last night with progressive shortness of breath fo the past three months. Found to have a very large tumor of unknown origin pressed against her diaphragm. Stable vital signs. Scheduled for CT this morning, sir.”

“Thank you, Dr. Quill.” Banner turned to Millie. “Are you at all claustrophobic?”

“I’ve been housebound for the last year,” Millie replied. “How claustrophobic could I be?”

“Alright then. Dr. Valkyrie is going to take you up for a CT. It’ll give us a better look at the tumor, and we’ll know how to proceed.”

“Could someone tell my dad? He’ll worry if he gets back and I’m not here.”

“Yeah, of course.”

“And would it be possible for Peter to take me instead? I mean, he… he’s just so fun to look at.”

“Millie,” Peter laughed, clearly trying to gain favor.

“Sure,” Banner said. “Sure, Miss Anderson. Excuse me.”

Dr. Banner left the room, with Dr. Gamora and the interns following.

“How much do you think it weighs?” Scott asked.

“60 pounds,” Clint answered.

“More,” Val said. “She’s carrying a whole extra person.”

“This one’s going in the books,” Natasha said. “I’ve got to get in.”

“I almost did,” Val glared at Peter.

“I was on call last night when she came in,” Peter said. “I’m never leaving this place again.”

“Let’s move, people,” Gamora said. “Miss Anderson’ surgery, should we choose to proceed, will take most, if not all, of the surgeons off the floor. Which means you people will have to work extra hard not to kill anyone, cause we won’t be there to fix your mistakes.”

You and the others listened to Gamora’s orders while Natasha slipped away to talk to Bruce.

“I really want in on this,” she whispered to him.

“I thought we weren’t talking,” Bruce replied, eyebrow up.

“I’m not talking. I’m just saying.”

Bruce sighed. “Find her father, get a family history, and I’ll tell Gamora.”

~~~

“I know you both think I like Y/N,” Clint stated as him, Scott, and Val walked up the stairs. “But I don’t like Y/N.”

“What?” Val questioned.

“No. I like Y/N. Obviously, I like her. She’s my roommate. I just… I don’t have a thing for her.” Scott and Val shared a look.

“Okay,” Scott said.

“It’s just this morning… I know you two were probably just teasing. But I don’t want you to say anything like that to her. Because, you know, we live together and that’d be awkward.”

“Clint, stop talking,” Val ordered.

“Okay, then… It’s just—“

“Seriously, dude,” Scott stopped in front of Clint. “You’re making this all worse. Just stop.” Scott peered behind Clint where you were making your way towards them. “Or you could just be honest with yourself and us and ask her out now.” Clint looked back to see you almost there.

“What are you guys standing here for?” You asked. “We’re going to be late meeting Gamora.” 

You and Val continued on your way with Scott watching Clint watch you.

“Liar,” Scott muttered, shaking his head.

The two guys caught up with you and Val. The four of you met up with Gamora in another patient room. Inside the room, a man is trying to walk but was having difficulty. Steve was also in there and a younger woman.

“Morning,” Gamora greeted.

“Mr. Jones, this is Dr. Gamora and her fine staff of surgical interns,” Steve introduced. Steve, yourself, and Gamora all exchanged glances.

“Welcome to hell, kids,” Mr. Jones stated.

“Who’s presenting?” Gamora asked.

“Edward Jones,” Clint stated, “is a 63-year-old man admitted for pain management for Dyskinesia. He's been stable since last night, and responding to the bolus injections.”

“Val, possible treatments?”

“For Parkinson’s disease?” Val questioned. “Um, deep brain stimulation has shown—“

“Not for Parkinson’s,” Steve clarified, “for spinal pain.”

“Oh, um…”

“Instraspinal catheter,” you stated. “That way, he can have constant pain medication.”

“Excellent,” Steve smiled. “This is Dr. L/N. She’s gonna prep you for the procedure and assist.” His pager beeped, causing him to look down. “Excuse me.” He left.

“You make yourselves busy,” Gamora said, following Steve out. “I’ll catch up with you.”

She followed Steve to the elevator. Where they end up alone.

“Gamora,” Steve greeted.

“Excuse me?” She responded.

“Well, that’s your name, right? It’s on your jacket.” She wasn’t impressed. “Alright, fine. Dr. Gamora then.”

“You think you're charming in that talented, neurotic, overly moussed hair sort of way, good for you. But if you think I'm going to stand back and watch while you favor her—“

“I don’t favor her. She’s good.”

“I’m sure she is.”

“You know, can I point out that, technically, I'm your boss?”

“You don't scare me. Look, I'm not going to advertise your extracurricular activities with my intern. However, the next time I see you favoring Y/N L/N in any way, I'll make sure she doesn't see the inside of on OR for a month. Just for the sake of balance.” 

~~~

“Okay, Mr. Jones,” you said with a smile. “We're going to get you more comfortable, okay? I'm going to go downstairs and I'll be back up shortly.”

“Okay,” Mr. Jones responded.

“Okay.”

You left, with the younger woman from the room following you out.

“Excuse me,” the younger woman called out, causing you to turn your attention to her. “I’m sorry, doctor…”

“L/N,” you smiled.

“Dr. L/N. I’m Lucy, his daughter. My dad seems to like you. He’s always liked your type. Is that rude? I’m sorry. I’m so tired.”

“Is there something—“

“I was wondering if you would talk to him.”

“About?”

“Brain surgery. The doctor mentioned it, and I've read about it online. If it worked, it could help with most of his symptoms, not just his pain.”

“Is he a candidate? I don’t—“

“He is, but he's afraid of it. Surgery on his back, he can understand, but his brain...And there are risks. But his quality of life…”

“There isn’t any.”

“And, it keeps getting worse. I'm getting married next month. I already lost my mom. And I want him to walk...I want him with me. Maybe that's selfish, but...you don't know what it's like having a parent...Watching him…”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thanks.”

You immediately left in search of Steve. You watched outside a room where he was talking to Gamora and Banner about Miss Anderson.

“Dr. Rogers,” you called as he walked out. “Mr. Jones, the Parkinson's patient, is he a good candidate for DBS?”

“Yes,” he replied, “but he’s not interested.”

“Okay, but I think it's worth talking to him again, pushing him.”

“We're talking about a brain surgery that is performed while the patient is wide awake, a risk of paralysis, a risk of death. And, the patient doesn't want it. It is not my job to push him into anything and it's definitely not yours.”

“Okay.”

“And since you’re clearly uncomfortable with my decision in this case, it's probably best you don't scrub in.”

“But—“

“It’s a minor procedure. You won’t be missed.” This took you by surprise. “I’m good here, Dr. L/N.” With your mind reeling, you walked away. Steve turned to Gamora, who had been watching. “You know that you’re a bully, right?”

“So I’ve heard,” Gamora replied.

~~~

You and Val were sitting in a corner of the cafeteria, eating lunch.

“It's just that he blatantly favors me in front of her and then blatantly dismisses me,” you complained to her.

“How do you know he was favoring you?” She asked, which you didn’t answer. “Look, you've got a brain. You got into this program. Just because Rogers wants to munch your cookies doesn't mean you didn't deserve what you worked for.”

“But he’s making me look bad. I have to end it.”

“Right.”

“It’s over.”

“Sure.”

“Is it true you get to scrub in on that tumor?” Peter asked Natasha, appearing out of nowhere with Val. They both sat down at your table.

“Don’t sit here.”

“You get to scrub in?” Val repeated. “How psyched are you?”

“On a scale of one to ecstatic, ecstatic.”

“It’s unbelievable,” Peter complained. “You know what I think? I think Banner wants to get into your scrubs.”

“Why are you sitting here?”

“He kicked me off that surgery for the same crap most of you pull every day.”

“You know what.” Natasha held up her fork. “If I stuck this fork into his thigh, would I get in trouble?”

“Not if you make it look like an accident,” you answered.

“Hey!” Clint greeted, coming up with Scott.

“Thank goodness,” Peter exclaimed. “I’m drowning in estrogen here.”

Clint sat down next to you, studying you. “You look… is everything okay?” He asked you.

“Rogers is a jackass,” you muttered.

“Really?” Val questioned. “I think he’s kind of great.”

“He reamed her out in front of Gamora,” Natasha said.

“Why?”

“Cause he’s a jackass,” you repeated.

“Well, bad days are… bad,” Clint said. “Maybe tonight, uh, if, you know, if you drink alcohol, I mean… we could, all of us, I mean, go out and rink alcohol… because of the bad day.”

Your pager beeped. “I’ve got to go.” And you left.

“Dude,” Peter laughed at Clint once you were gone.

Clint groaned and rested his head on the table. Scott panted his shoulder while the others laughed.

~~~

Steve had called you to Mr. Jones room. You stood near the door, watching.

“How’s your back?” Steve asked Mr. Jones as he checked him over.

“Still good,” the patient responded.

“Good.” Steve turned to Mr. Jones daughter. “How are you? Good?” She nodded as he turned his attention back to her father. “Can you lean forward for me? I just want to check something. Does that feel okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Right here?” Steve pressed along Mr. Jones’ back. The man grunts slightly and Steve looked up, finally noticing you. “Mr. Jones,” Steve took his hands off the man, “have you given any more thought about the other surgical options we discussed this morning?”

“What? Why would I? I already told you no. I'm letting you cut into my back, but that's not enough for you. All you guys ever want to do is cut.”

“Dad,” his daughter scolded, “just listen to what he has to say.”

“I already listened.”

“Sir, there’s a very small window of opportunity here,” Steve stated. “You know, once the Parkinson's progresses to a point of dementia, there's, you know, you're no longer a candidate for DBS.”

“And when I'm no longer a candidate, is that when you people will leave me the hell alone! What? Do I have to start drooling, and forget my name to get a little peace and quiet?”

“Alright,” Steve nodded. “I’ll check back with you later. Try to get some rest.” Steve left while you lingered a bit longer, just more in the hallway.

“Dad, you’re being unreasonable,” the daughter said. “The doctors are only trying to help you.”

“It’s my damn life, and it’s my damn brain,” Mr. Jones stated. “You want me to let them cut up my brain while I'm lying there awake, for what?”

“Dad!”

“I'll be at your wedding. I will sit in the back. Your uncle will walk you down the aisle. I know it's not perfect, but it's life. Life is messy sometimes.”

“I know that.” The daughter walked out and Mr. Jones looked at you.

“If she knows, then what the hell are we still talking for, huh? Why in the hell can’t she drop it?”

“It is your life,” you said, stepping further into the room. “But it’s her life too. And you have a chance to get better here. And all she's asking you to do is try.”

~~~

Mr. Jones agreed to the DBS. But you needed to hurry and find Steve, before the man changed his mind. You found him scrubbing in for Miss Anderson’s surgery with Banner and Gamora.

“Dr. Rogers,” you called.

“Yes?” He responded, looking over with his red, white, and blue scrub cap on and a mask.

“Mr. Jones has agreed to DBS. Only if we do it today. If he leaves, he won’t come back.”

“Don’t worry, Steve,” Bruce said. “It’ll take hours before we get around to the spine. I’ll page you.”

“Alright, then,” Steve said, shaking off his wet hands. “Let’s do it.”

Steve walked out of the scrub room while Bruce walked into the OR, leaving you and Gamora alone.

“Dr. Gamora. I didn’t know… I din’t know that he was my boss, when I met him,” you said. “I really didn’t know.”

“I don’t care,” she responded.

“Really? Oh, well, you sort of seemed to not be talking to me, so I—“

“You see this, what's happening right here? This is the problem with you sleeping with my boss. Not whether or not you know him before, but how it affects my day. And me standing here talking to you about your sex life affects my day. And the longer this little fling goes on, the more favors you get over the others, who are fighting tooth and nail just to make it through this program without any assistance. When those people start finding out what's going on and they don't want to work with you and talk to you or look at you, and they start bitching and moaning at me, the more it affects my day. So, no, Dr. L/N, I don't care what you know, or when you know it. Are we understood?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

~~~

“Neuro sponge,” a male nurse said, handing a sponge to Steve.

“How you doing, Mr. Jones?” Steve asked.

“Alright,” Mr. Jones responded.

“Drill bit’s charged,” the nurse announced.

“Where’s the girl doctor?”

“I’m right here,” you responded, stepping closer. “Can’t you see me?”

“I’m shaky, not blind. Anything goes wrong here, I’m blaming you.”

“Okay, in that case, I'll stay where you can see me. Now we just have to drill a hole and try to find the spot that controls the motor function.”

“You can't see my brain from there. Aren't you supposed to be learning something?”

“I’m good,” you grabbed onto his hand, “right here.”

“EEG waves look good,” the nurse stated.

“Okay, Mr. Jones. Just take a couple of deep breaths,” Steve told him. “Focus on the pretty girl. Okay, this is going to sound really scary, but try and relax. You shouldn't feel a thing.”

Then Steve began to drill into Mr. Jones’ head. After a few hours, Steve asked you to have Mr. Jones try and mimic you.

“Just keep trying, Mr. Jones,” you encouraged. “Mimic my motions. You can do it.”

“Oh, damn it!” His body was too shaky to mimic the motions.

“Take a breath and try again. The probe is almost in. You’ll know when we find the right spot.” Mr. Jones tries again, to find that he stopped shaking and was able to mimic you. “Well, how about that?” You smiled, though it was covered with a mask.

“There it is,” Steve said.

~~~

After the surgery, you and Steve brought Mr. Jones back to his room and met back in the hallway.

“I know you’re probably asking yourself why I took you off the surgery,” Steve said. “Gamora was on the warpath. I was trying to protect you.”

“You trying to protect me is why she's on the warpath,” you replied, the both of you heading down the hall. “You can't do me favors. You can't ask me to scrub in when I haven't earned it.”

“Okay, okay.”

“And you can't treat me like crap when I haven't earned that either.”

“Okay.”

“I can take care of myself. I got myself into this mess, and I’ll—“

“And you'll get yourself out?”

“I don’t… I don’t know that yet.” Steve’s pager went off as you arrived at the staircase. “Don’t let me keep you.”

“You did great work here today.” He smiled at you then headed off.

“Dr. Rogers,” you called after him.

“Yeah?” He turned around to face you.

“Sorry I called you a jackass.”

“You didn’t.”

“I did. Twice.”

Steve chuckled and continued on his way. Tony had heard and seen the exchange from behind. He came up beside you.

“You both are love sick idiots,” he said.

“And you aren’t?” You responded. 

“Yes. But I blew it.”

“Dr. Potts will give you another chance.”

“How do you know? Did she tell you that?”

“No. I just know from experience.”

~~~

You decided to go to the OR gallery and watch Miss Anderson’s surgery. Peter was up there watching as well.

“Wow, it’s unbelievable,” you said, looking at the mess down below.

“Right,” Peter agreed.

“How did she live like that?”

“Watch what you say. You never know who's listening.” He looks down below, then laughed. “Look at Scottie. He looks like he's about to fall in.”

“Are you really as shallow and callous as you seem?”

“Oh, you want to go out for a drink later and hear about my secret pain?”

“Does that line ever work for you?”

“Sometimes.”

“Oh. Must be because you look like that.”

“Like what?” You laughed at him. “So is that a yes?”

“No. I can't. I’m… seeing someone.”

“Look, if you don't want to go out with me, just say so. No need to lie.”

“Oh, okay. Well, I don't want to go out with you. But I think I really might be seeing someone.”

Suddenly, Val entered the OR below. And you could hear everything that was happening.

“Mr. Collins, the post-op heart patient in 2114. I had to open his sternotomy bedside,” Val stated, almost panicked.

“You what?” / “What?” 

Peter quickly left the gallery and you stood up to watch from the glass.

“He had cardiac tamponade. His chest films were clean this morning,” Val explained. “It just... It happened fast. He was in PEA. There was no time.”

“Go ahead,” Steve told Bruce. “I got it. We’re okay here.”

“Okay.” Bruce hurried out with Val.

“I need some retraction. Pull back on the retractor. And someone page Hill to help… Never a dull moment here at the medical center.” A blood vessel burst, suddenly, squirting blood all over Steve and Gamora. “Oh!”

“Oh!” Gamora exclaimed.

“Get right in there!”

“She can’t afford to lose this much blood. We need more blood.”

“Get me some suction here. I can't see what I'm doing. Clamp, clamp, clamp, please. Is there any blood in the rapid infuser?”

“We’re waiting on two units,” the female nurse stated.

“What do you mean, waiting?”

“Well, we didn’t anticipate this much blood loss,” Gamora replied.

“They’re on their way,” the nurse said.

“We prepped a double supply. We’ve used it all.”

“What did you cut?” Steve asked.

“Nothing. It just blew. She came in with too much damage. The artery walls are too weak. Ten units of o-negative.”

“I cannot see. Lang, give me your hand. Push right down here. Pull it towards you. Suction! Suction!”

“The pressure’s dropping,” a nurse stated.

“She needs blood. Where the hell is the blood?! Somebody grab that. Push it back, Lang. Come on.” Everyone is breathless as they move Miss Anderson more onto the table. “Oh, God. Just squeeze it off right there. Here we go… Some suction, please, in here, now. Come on. We're losing her now. Look at this. Look at this. Come on!” He started CPR, with the flatline of the machine going. "Oh, come on! Come on!” He continued with the CPR. "Come on!” After a few more times, Steve breathlessly stopped CPR. “Time of death is 11:42.”

~~~

Natasha found her way to an on call room after Miss Anderson’s surgery. She was stretching when Bruce entered.

“I'm not doing you any more favors,” he stated. “This was it.”

Natasha scoffed. “I've been holding up 50 pounds of tumor for the past 12 hours. My back's going to need traction, and the patient died anyways. And you think you did me a favor?”

“Look, I'm just… What is this… that we're doing here? What is it?”

“You need a definition? You really want to be that guy?”

He watched as she continued to stretch, then he locked the door.

~~~

You waited in the parking garage for Steve to leave the hospital. He walked up to you.

“I, um, know this place where they’re an amazing view of the sunrise and ferryboats,” you told him, pulling out some beers from your bag.

“I have a thing for ferry boats,” he smirked.

“I remember.”

He took a hold of your hand, leading you to his car.

next chapter >

NOTES: from now on the taglist when be added by a reblog. I will reblog it using my second account, @just-dreaming-marvel-2​​​. Just so that my main page doesn’t get too cluttered.

If you want to be added to the tag list, please dm me or send in an ask.

[just-call-me-the-intrusive-thot]

Che Bellissima Neve

Pairings: Romantic Prinxiety

TWs: agoraphobia mention, just a lot of long distance pining

Summary: With his lover constantly travelling the world, acting on stages all over Europe and beyond, Virgil wonders if it’ll be snowing in Venice by the time he sees Roman again...

(Recommended music: Snow In Venice by Elizaveta)

--

Virgil Giordano was never normally one for things like promises and long goodbyes. 

Coffee in hand, he warmed his cold fingers against the mug. His phone was right there by his side, but his right index finger instead busied itself - not with numbers - but with cursive. 

Looping letters. 

Spelling out where his heart lay.

The winter had seen fit to bless Venice with a soft kiss of frost. Gathering in the corners of the windows, haphazardly along the walkways, tickling the noses and lips of passers by. All the while Virgil couldn’t fight off the disappointment as the sky remained clear. The stars were beautiful, but his wasn’t among them. No, his star was miles away from where he should be; back home, in Virgil’s arms. 

Stealing his body warmth while they cuddled together. Complaining at the lack of room for the both of them on the one chair, but still refusing to move. Running his hands through the freshly plum pigmented plume of hair atop Virgil’s head. 

A soft sigh left Virgil as the homebound poet quietly pined for his lover. 

-

Roman D’Angelo had only dreamt of this level of stardom in far fetched dreams and scrawled in journals during drama lessons. 

Even as he walked out of Berlin’s Theatre Des Westens still wearing his getup as Leopold Bloom, Roman could hardly believe he was one of the most sought after up-and-coming musical actors in Europe. Stopping for autographs was brief; Roman adored his fans of course, but the face he always longed to see among them was never there. Not for a lack of wanting, but because his beloved was confined to his home - no, their home, it was always home for the both of them no matter how far Roman travelled - by his agoraphobia. Roman never held it against him, he only wished he could call home more often. 

As his taxi passed a phonebox, Roman politely asked the driver to stop. His wallet held rarely any change these days, but he had what he hoped would be enough.

The cold night air caressed his fingers unpleasantly. Curse his lack of patience, but spontaneity was always Roman’s forte when it came to acts of the heart. Screw his phone that needed charging back in his hotel room, he needed to hear his beloved’s voice that second. Each number dialled brought a new rush of excitement and nerves until the phone began to ring.

He just hoped Virgil hadn’t decided to have an early night..

-

Luckily for Roman, Virgil was as much an insomniac as he was an agoraphobe.

Of course, he didn’t recognise the number, perhaps it was a spam caller? Probably. He rolled his eyes and went back to sipping his cooling coffee, content to let the answering system take a message. Instead of some hack trying to sell him car insurance or some scam worthy payment plan, the voice on the other end had Virgil scrambling to answer the call so quickly he nearly doused himself in lukewarm bean water.

“Virgil? It’s me, though I take it you must be asle-”

“Roman!”, Virgil cursed the crack in his voice as he answered, “I’m here, Princey. It’s been a while, where are you calling from this time, mister world-famous-actor?”

Roman’s hearty laughter had Virgil’s own heart beating so loudly he wondered if he should schedule a doctor’s visit. “I’m not quite there yet, cuore mio. But I’m in Berlin, Charlottenburg to be exact. And it’s still snowing, in fact it’s snowed every night since opening night. Can you believe that?”

“Really?”, Virgil sighed, unable to stop the fond smile making itself at home on his lips, “Sounds lovely.”

“It is…. But it does have its drawbacks.”, the actor mused, drinking in the adorable noise of intrigue his lover made over the phone.

“And what would they be?”

“... It’s not home.”, Roman began, his eyes following the tufts of snow that danced through the skies outside the phone box. “And you’re not here.”

For a moment, Roman wondered if he’d overstepped. If he’d made Virgil feel bad for not being able to be beside him, but his fears were replaced by a longing he wasn’t aware he was capable of as Virgil’s voice - almost strange in it’s softness - caressed his ears, 

“Funny, I was just thinking that myself.”

It was hard for Roman to find the words, but he mustered the courage to ask, “Are you doing alright, Virge?”. The silence gave Roman his answer, he knew Virgil would never admit to him outright just how much he missed him, how lonely he was at night without Roman by his side. Well, not directly.

“... When will you be home again, vita mia?”

Virgil knew Roman would be home in an instant if he could manage it. If he wasn’t bound by the dream he’d had since their adolescent years, Virgil knew his beloved would be in his arms right that second. But the poet knew what he signed up for when he fell in love with Roman D’Angelo; he was prepared to let his beloved chase his dreams while he could never follow alongside him. That didn’t mean it hurt any less to be without him.

“...Virgil? Are you still there?”

“Oh, um, yeah. Sorry, I-“

“Got caught up in your thoughts again, cuore mio?”

Virgil nodded bashfully before realising Roman couldn’t see him, “Yeah. I just…. I miss you so much, Roman..”

“... I know you do. And I miss you too.”

He hadn’t meant for Roman to hear the soft, dejected huff he let out, but as he practically heard Roman frown over the phone, Virgil sighed, “It’s been almost a year, Roman, almost a year of telling myself not to be selfish, just wishing you were here with me instead. I just… I want you to be happy, but I don’t know how much longer I can go on without you.”

The anxiety he felt pooling in his stomach threatened to draw out his tears when Roman softly spoke again over the line. Lord knows, Virgil adored the tenderness in his tone and the love dripping from each syllable,

“Vita mia, anima mia, bisogna resistere...”, Virgil’s breath hitched and he was unsure if it was because he was close to an anxiety attack or because he could feel the hope building itself a home in his chest, “I’ll be home soon, vita mia, I promise.”

He wanted to believe it, but he’d heard those words before and Virgil couldn’t help the doubt his hope was wrestling with, “Before or after it starts snowing in Venice?”, he joked.

Roman chuckled, they were both grateful for the moment of levity, “Never doubt the power of my undying love for you, Giordano.”

Virgil chuckled, affectionately snarking something akin to ‘sbruffone’ as he hung up and got cosy in his armchair. It had just passed midnight, he might as well get comfy considering he wouldn’t be able to sleep now. Not with Roman invading his every thought…

-

Once Roman had returned to the taxi, he was filled with an unwavering resolve. He all but raced to his hotel room; his hands blurred in his vision as he began to pack the few things he had brought with him into his suitcase with one hand while the other held his phone. 

After the couple of times he’d pulled out the charger on accident, Roman was finally able to call his manager. Despite her protests, Roman knew they could let his understudy handle being Leo Bloom for the last couple of shows. Even if it meant it might cost him some valuable work and publicity.

Sure, being on stage was his dream, but Virgil was his life. 

“I’m coming home, vita mia...”

-

The armchair was so comfy. Virgil hoped whoever was knocking at his door was prepared for the consequences of waking him up. 

In fairness, he should have gone to bed instead of snuggling even warmer into the chair, but also in fairness there was no reason for anyone to be knocking on his door at half four in the morning. Seriously, who just does that? Virgil hoped it wasn’t some stranger in need of help; he didn’t fancy having to stomach explaining he was literally terrified of leaving his house. Perhaps it would just be Valerie next door, checking in on him, that’d be nice. That he could deal with. As long as it wasn’t the mailman. Or Mormans. 

If his fear of going outside could be rivalled by anything, it was with his hatred of people trying to intrude on his home.

Virgil’s mental ramblings stopped as his mismatched eyes caught a glimpse of a figure through the frosted glass of the door. It was hard to be certain, but the silhouette, the colours, even when distorted…

Never had the door known such force as Virgil tore open the door and came face to face with the love of his life.

“Roman…!!”

The taller man smiled like the angels Virgil was sure had carved him; his cheeks and nose were flushed rosy red, his dark hair was tousled and stuffed underneath the winter beanie atop his head. By the way he was breathing, Virgil guessed that Roman had run at least the length of the street to get here.

Despite knowing he’d regret it once the intrusive thoughts came for him, Virgil braved the two steps outside his doorway to wrap his arms around Roman, a gesture his beloved returned. Warm hands resting on Virgil’s lower back assured him that everything that was happening was real; that the Roman in his arms was real. He didn’t give a second thought to kissing his darling actor, he just did.

When they finally broke for air, Roman chuckled, sweet as honey, bathing Virgil’s face in warm breath, “Vita mia, Virgil, I’m loath to suggest we stop, but I fear you may freeze if we continue. I love you but I’d rather the love of my life not be turned into a popsicle.”

It took Virgil a second to realise what Roman meant. Not only had he rushed out in his pjs, but his clothes and skin were littered with tiny plumes of snow.

Snow. In Venice. 

When Roman pulled off a surprise, he sure did it in style.

As much as the poet could feel his anxiety over being outside - even momentarily - begin to build, he couldn’t help but let out a chuckle,

“Come on then, Roman,”, Virgil huffed softly, his smile so beaming with love, Roman wondered if it was possible to be burned alive by it, “You have stories to tell me from your travels, and I have a warm armchair and some coffee to for us to share...”

----

Fluff? Straight up fluff? No angst!? It’s likelier than you think!

Seeing out the year with a happy little fic based on smth I talked about with a friend after the Christmas Concert Livestream!

All the Italian used is stuff I tried to cross reference so if anything is wrong or could be improved, please let me know!

(they’re supposed to be talking in Italian the entire fic I just wanted to add in some actual Italian like in the song)

Taglist:

@patton-cake @does-this-look-logicality-to-you @justalittlecorrupted @irritating-lady-knight @katlikethesword @gattonero17 @shadowylemon

[xpeachesncream]

acquainted | three

summary: the biggest goal of a grad student is to get through school in one piece - no petty drama involved, no sweating over the little things. however, that plan almost always never follows through. sometimes, you can’t help but fall into the most unthinkable, unexpected traps and learn the hard way. like, exhibit a: being unable to resist your engaged, substitute teacher, kim seokjin.

pairing: (2nd bts member to be revealed later on) x reader x engaged!teacher!seokjin

genre: grad school au, student life au | fluff, angst, smut (to come)

words: 2.0k

warnings: hoe-ish thoughts / implied sexual content, cussing, mentions of death/car accident, your friends being extra like always

notes: flashback scene towards the last half of the chapter. start and end of flashback will be indicated!

tags: @laurynne5​, @yiyi4657​, @bluesharksandfish​, @miinoongi​ @teamtardis-notdead​ (pls msg me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

It was a cold morning, with the wind slowly picking up, bringing the clouds over from across the bay. You grabbed yourself a cup of coffee and sat on a table near the food cart on campus, finishing up your last items on your to-do list for work. You didn't wanna sit in the office for remainder of the day, and luckily, your job gave you that flexibility. You rubbed your hands together, hoping it could provide some relief to the cold taking over. You were too lazy to make your move at this point, and Mr. Kim's [or shall we say Jin since we aren't in a classroom right now] class wasn't too far away from where you were sitting. It'd be an easy, breezy walk.

Your brain felt foggy; even though you didn't have much left on your to-do list, you couldn't seem to focus and you knew why. Chance's death anniversary was coming up, and it was always something you dreaded. You wish you could skip the day and continue on with the week without having to revisit shit like this. Your friends are your biggest support systems, but they too, have their own lives to tend to. And as much as they tried to physically be there for you, sometimes it just didn't end up happening that way.

"Miss Y/N, are you doing alright?" You looked up to see Jin standing in front of you, a concerned expression plastered on his face while he held his cup of coffee.

"Oh yeah, sorry. Just spaced out trying to get things done for work."

"No need to apologize. I feel that, 100%." He chuckled. "Mind if I sit for a minute?" You shook your head and moved your things closer to you so he had some room for himself. "Glad to see you got home in one piece."

"Sure did." You smiled at him, tilting your head slightly to get a good look at his handsome ass face while he brings up his foot to rest on his knee. Honest question: is it ever too early for hoe thoughts to make an appearance?

Did I put on deodorant today?

"You work nearby?" He sipped on his coffee and glanced at you.

"Yeah, I work for a cloud-based software company as a project manager. Sometimes, I'll help chime in with graphic design projects too, if I'm not too swamped." He nodded.

"That's pretty amazing."

"What about you? I assume this isn't your only gig." He chuckled.

"You're right, it's not. I, uh-" He paused. "I'm a CFO for a tech company in the city." Your eyes widened. Handsome, and a fucking boss? You have got to be kidding me.

"W-wow. Holy shit." You quickly shook your head and shut your eyes in embarrassment. "Sorry, holy crap." You corrected your previous statement.

"Y/N, I don't care if you cuss." He laughed. "I'm a 30 year old man who still finds the need to slip it in between every other word when I'm not in class."

"Sorry, just— holy fuck. I wasn't really expecting that, but good on you!"

"What do I look like to you? Honest question."

"Oh, I mean. I just thought you worked in business or something like that. As someone important, but not that important. I-I mean—"You sighed and pursed your lips into a fine line. "You know what I mean, I hope."

"I think I do, don't worry." He smiled, feeling slightly amused with how cute you were acting.

"You must be really busy all the time."

"Mm, no actually. I do have quite a few meetings and deadlines to reach but other than that, it's not too bad." You rested your chin on the palm of your hand. "Are you from here?"

"I am, born and raised. Are you?" He shook his head and slightly pouted.

"I moved here a couple of years ago from Seattle when my fiancé Grace started to get serious about her cooking. She wanted to open her first restaurant here."

"Oh, that's neat. She's a chef?" Stupid question, but you weren't sure how else to keep the conversation going about his soon-to-be wifey.

"Yep. She's a wonder woman, for sure." He pauses to sip more of his coffee. "Do you have family members that live around here?"

"Yeah I do, my parents live about 30 minutes away from here. I go and visit them when I can. But sometimes, I get too occupied with work and school that I just long for time to myself. Being 25, you'd think I could handle more but I'm still learning how to balance my time, I guess." He nods. He's a little relieved to hear you aren't that far off in age, to be honest. He wasn't sure if he was being weird harmlessly getting to know his students. He genuinely wanted to build relationships with them so they didn't think he was a professor they couldn't turn to. However, when it came to you, he couldn't help but feel slightly captivated. He was impressed with the way you carried yourself, down to how you'd participate in class and how you didn't come off like a student who hated every fucking professor they came across in their academic career. He appreciated the tiny details. "Not gonna lie though, I do get a little homesick whenever I don't get to visit for awhile, even though they don't live far. Truly makes me appreciate having my friends around."

"Ryujin, Taehyung and Jimin? No siblings?" He asks. Impressive. He paid attention.  Although, it's definitely not hard to figure out when you four were constantly [for the most part] stuck at the hip.

"Yup, those punks. I'm the only child so they've become family to me." You smiled hearing your friends' names. They honestly meant the world to you, and you weren't sure where you'd be without them.

"That's sweet. It's good to have people like that on your side of the court."

There was silence for a moment, with Jin looking at you over the rim of his cup, while you tried your hardest to keep yourself together. You felt the heat radiating throughout your body the longer you kept your gaze on him, the tension slightly building. You were a little relieved he didn't bounce the question back about your love life or anything regarding the matter. You almost feel guilty that you're digging pretty deeply into this situation yet again, but you felt comfortable with the way the conversation was going and the energy he was exuding.

"I, um--" You pause as you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. He keeps the same gaze on you, almost like he's trying to figure out what you'll say next by reading you and your body language. "I hope--"

"Y/N!" You hear Taehyung's deep ass voice yell for you from behind. "Oh fuck, sorry dude. Am I interrupting something?" To be quite frank, you were happy Taehyung interrupted when he did because you were just about to tell Jin how good he looked, respectfully, of course. You were going to keep it PG and comment on the tie he was wearing and how the pattern complimented him and the rest of his outfit.

"No, not at all." Jin chuckles. "We were just wrapping up, I have to get going." He stands and smiles at the both of you. "See you both in class soon."

"Peace out, Mr. Kim." Taehyung throws up the peace sign like a dumbass as you both watch him take his exit and walk towards his classroom.

"Peace out, Mr. Kim? Really, Tae?"

"I mean, he seems cool enough for me to do that, don't you think?" You shake your head and continue finishing up your work on your work laptop. "What was that about? Are you in trouble already? What'd you do?"

"Why do you have like, so much fucking energy right now?"

"I downed two redbulls before I got here."

"You're an idiot."

"Me and Jimin were up all night hunting."

"I stand corrected— you both are idiots." Taehyung clicks his tongue before raising his eyebrow, manspreading and leaning back into the chair.

"So, what was that really about?"

"We just had a chat!"

"Sure. You both were definitely eye-fucking each other. It was weird to walk into."

"Not everyone is like you, trying to fuck everything they see." You rolled your eyes. "He had just sat here for a minute and we talked about work and where we were from."

"Okay." He snorts and shrugs.

"You're being so dramatic. It was harmless."

"Definitely looked otherwise."

"You weren't even here for the majority of our conversation?"

"Didn't have to be, sweetheart." He winked, playfully caressing your chin. "Your secret is safe with me."

"You are so full of shit. I don't know how I've dealt with you for so long."

"Who's so full of shit?" Ryujin comes strolling along, with a tired Jimin who was sipping on an iced americano. He wore a cap and sunglasses with sweats and a fitted crewneck, looking like he just rolled the fuck out of bed.

"Taehyung, who else?" You both stood up to start slowly walking towards Mr. Kim's classroom. "Are you okay, Chim?" You asked, genuinely worried about him, but also trying to change the subject.

"Tired. Just tired." He shakes his head, lowering his the brim of his cap even more. "This dumbass kept messing up our hunt last night."

"I didn't mess anything up, you just weren't clear on the directions." Jimin smacked him upside the head. "And Y/N's just mad I caught her and Mr. Kim on a date." Ryujin gasped, while Jimin choked on his iced americano and coughed trying to get himself together.

"Excuse me, come again?" Ryujin squeezes your arm, causing you to slightly wince in pain before you can shake her off.

"Tae, really?" You rolled your eyes. "It wasn't a date! He just sat with me for a minute and we talked for a little bit. That's literally it."

"You forgot the part where you both were eye-fucking each other when I came along."

"What the fuck is even going on right now?" Jimin finally chimed in, making you sigh deeply.

"We were not!" You pushed Tae. "You're such an instigator."

"First, helping you with your groceries, now this? I didn't think you had it in you, girl! Actually pursuing an engaged professor." Ryujin joked, making herself laugh out loud. Jimin is now walking alongside of you, while Taehyung throws his arms around both you and Ryujin, swinging his big ass head back and forth between the both of you.

"He helped you with groceries last night? What?" Jimin is honestly so confused and is unable to keep up with the chaotic conversation.

"Look, I just ran into him at Trader Joes and he offered to bring my groceries to my car since it was getting late. And today, we just ended up talking for a little bit. That's it. Can we drop this?"

"Mr. Kim has the hots for Y/N!" Ryujin teased.

"That's it. I'm going to find new friends." You shrugged. "Unbelievable." Did they not listen to one word you just said?

"You should go for it and have fun." Taehyung winked.

"No, no. She shouldn't go for him or do anything." Jimin states loud and clear, making sure he grabs both Ryujin and Taehyung's attention by waving his hand in the air.

"Ah, come on Chim, it's just a little fun."

"Ry." Jimin says sternly.

"Okay, kidding." She rolls her eyes.

"This is getting so out of hand." You say as you all approached the door to Mr. Kim's classroom.

"Hey Mr. Kim." Ryujin waved her hand playfully, followed by Jimin and Taehyung who simply nodded and gave him a toothless smile. He happily returns her greeting, then flashes a small smirk as you pass him while arranging the papers on the front desk.

"Hmph." Ryujin smirks. "Told you so." You roll your eyes.

Chance's death anniversary arrives quicker than you'd like, causing you to pick yourself up and force yourself to get on with the day whether you like it or not. After work, you quickly visited his grave at the cemetery, balling your eyes out as you spend quite awhile sitting in silence, staring at his photo on the tombstone. Every memory, every good and bad moment that you shared with Chance flashed right before your eyes.

It was irreplaceable.

[ start flashback ]

"So, who would you want next to you if the end of the world was coming?"  You kept your gaze on the 'List of questions to ask your significant other' photo on your phone.

"What kind of morbid question is that?" Chance laughed as he continued to hug you tightly while you laid on his chest. "You, of course."

"Aw, thanks bebe. Same here."

"Are there any happy questions in there?" He scrolled down the list. "Like this one - what's the cutest thing your partner has ever done for you?"

"When we had dinner on a boat and you sang to me and everyone else having dinner." You laughed.

"Yeah, that was pretty cute wasn't it?"

"Shut up." You playfully covered his mouth. "Your turn."

"The cutest thing you've done? I don't know sweetheart, you've done a ton of cute things. I'd have to say you waking up next to me. It reminds me how real you are." You smiled and pecked him on the lips.

"I love you, chance."

"I love you too." He says almost at a whisper while caressing your chin. He was pulled out of the moment when his phone rang. "Ayo." He says. You watch as his facial expression changes. "For fuck's sake man, alright. Hang tight, I'll be there. Yo, don't be stupid and drive home drunk. I'm about to leave, okay? Your ass better be there by the time I get there." He sighed as he hung up the phone.

"What's wrong?"

"Josh is drunk as hell. I'm gonna go pick him up before he does something stupid."

"Can't he find a ride there?"

"Everybody left him. I can't just leave him there."

"I know, but--"

"It's gonna be fine, okay baby? I promise. I'll be back before you know it."

"Alright." You sighed. "Be safe, please."

"I will."

[ end flashback ]

When you finally arrived at school, you checked out your appearance to make sure you looked decent enough to get through class. You were hoping your psychology classes would go by quickly, just so you could get out of there and feel less suffocated.

"I'm sorry I can't come over." Ryujin pulls you into a tight hug and caresses your back. She had planned to spend time with you, but her sister called her last minute to ask if she could babysit her niece until late night. "But let me know if you need me, okay? I don't care if it's 1AM, I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Same. I'll do what I can to get out of this family thing." Jimin gives your arm a gentle squeeze. Jimin's family was visiting from Korea on a whim, so he had been pulled into some family festivities for the evening.

"Look, you guys. I'll be fine, okay? Don't worry about me. You know I love you both no matter what, do what you need to do."

"I'll text you when I'm on my way?" Taehyung is the only one who is able to spend time with you tonight, after he helps his younger brother with a project. You simply nodded before you split ways with your group and headed for the library. You were going to stick around and do some work at the library until Taehyung was free because there was no way you were going to go home alone, feeling the way you were feeling. You weren't going to get anything done, and you weren't going to have the energy to pull yourself together.

Today was heavy.

The library wasn't any better for you because your thoughts seemed to be louder in such a huge, quiet space. You were looking at the clock time and time again, hoping Taehyung would text you, letting you know he'd be on his way with tons of dessert and wine. Just cause that's what you wanted, right at this moment.

You sighed and cracked your neck from side to side, getting yourself into Steph Curry "Lock in" mode so you can push through your assignments that needed to get done. But, it just didn't happen that way. You were becoming frustrated and restless, so you quickly packed up your things and shoved them into your bag before walking out. The campus was lit with street lights, with barely any students walking around. It felt a little eery, but the walk to the lot wasn't too bad being that the garage was well-lit, with security guards on every level. You felt your phone buzz in your pocket, causing you to try and reach for it even though you were hauling the rest of the books that didn't fit in your bag. Next thing you knew, you had your phone, but your books had fallen to the floor, the papers stuffed in them falling out and getting wet from the wet grass next to the concrete walkway.

"Fuck!" You groaned to yourself as you quickly glanced at Taehyung's 'be there in about 30 minutes or so' text and bent down to pick up your mess. You really had no reason to cry over this shit, but all of the pent up frustration and emotions you had been feeling today pushed you over the edge. You aggressively wiped your tears away as you stuffed your wet papers back into the books and stacked them on top of each other.

"Y/N?" You look up to see Jin, tears still falling from your eyes. "Are you alright?" He bends down to help you gather your books, towering over you as he gathers the majority of your things.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you." You slyly wiped your tears once more as you grabbed the books from him.

"Hey." He placed his hand out to prevent you from walking any further. You look up at him, watching as he dips his head down to examine your face, your eyes still wet and glossy from the tears. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Look, I'm fine and I don't wanna take time away--"

"You clearly aren't." His expression fills with worry. "And you aren't going to be taking time out of my evening." He finishes your statement for you. You sigh and close your eyes as your head dips lowly.

"It's just been a tough day, that's all."

"Let's talk about it." You look up at him as he nods for you to follow him to a bench near the parking garage. "Come on. I really won't forgive myself if I went home without trying to help." You silently follow him and place your things down before sitting. He sits next to you, with enough space placed between your position and his. "What's on your mind, Y/N?"

"Um." You pause and look at him. "On this day 3 years ago, I lost the love of my life to a car accident." You wiped your tears in between words. Jin's expression softened as he watched you break down in front of him, his heart breaking seeing you in pain like this. He wanted to do everything in his power to comfort you, hoping it would relieve some of the pain even though he knew it was something that would forever be embedded in you. But if he could provide any relief, then that would make him feel a little better.

[ start flashback ]

"It's been close to two hours, where the hell is he?" You said as you looked at your phone, sitting on the couch as you, Ryujin, Taehyung and Jimin watched a movie. Suddenly, breaking news flashed through the screen, cutting the movie to another commercial break earlier than expected.

"Breaking news - a white Lexus sports car and a Ford truck were involved in a head-on collision early this morning on Highway 101."

"O-oh my god." Ryujin says, as they look at the totaled cars. The Lexus was completely sandwiched at the median, while the truck was wrecked, but still stood in one piece off to the side.

"T-that's Chance's car." You said as you put your drink down on the coffee table to take a closer look at the car.

"Y/N, I'm sure Chance is fine and is on his way back." Taehyung chimed in from behind you.

"N-no." You stuttered, the feeling of despair in the pit of your stomach growing bigger by the minute. "N-no, I know his car."

"We might just be overthinking this." Jimin says, gently grabbing your wrist to pull you back down onto the couch, but you continued to stand.

"There was said to be one intoxicated passenger in the white Lexus, who is in critical condition and is being taken to the nearby trauma center. The driver of the truck was also intoxicated and injured, but is expected to survive. However, the driver of the white Lexus was pronounced dead at the scene." All of a sudden, you felt weak and dizzy because you just knew. You knew Chance wasn't okay, and you knew he wasn't on his way back to you. Soon after the news announcement, loud knocks came at the door. You looked back at your friends before making your way to the door, revealing two police officers standing before you. At this point, you felt like your entire life had been sucked out of you as you fell onto the floor, crying loudly while your friends tried their best to comfort you and speak to the officers for you. All you could remember hearing was the "i'm sorry's" from both police officers before everything turned into white noise. Everything felt numb.

[ end flashback ]

"I am so sorry, Y/N. I know my apologies are going to do much to ease the pain, but please know that I'm here for you whenever you need someone to talk to. I wanna do what I can to provide some relief." Is all Jin says as you continue to divulge about that night's details.

"You know," You looked up at the moon. "It's been 3 years, but it feels like it just happened yesterday. The pain always feels so fresh and it still feels so painful to think about it. It used to make me question why I was so deserving to continue living my life. I'm not an angel, I haven't been perfect. You know? Yet, someone who was so close to perfect, someone who was always so selfless and never hesitated to put others before himself was taken away from this world so easily? How did Josh survive, but Chance didn't? He was just going to help his friend out because he didn't want anything to happen to him, yet he ended up getting the short end of the stick. I was so mad." You shook your head. "I was so mad at Josh for awhile. I never understood and I still don't. I still don't fucking understand this." Your tears fell as you looked back at Jin.

"I can only imagine. There's things we'll never understand and quite frankly, it fucking sucks. But, I really don't want you to beat yourself up over this. I'm sure Chance wouldn't want you to, either. A lot of things happen for a reason, whether we like it or not, and it's hard to look at it in a different perspective. He's still with you, all the time. You're strong, and he knows this."

"I just don't know how I did this without him. It hurts so bad."

"I know, and it's okay to let yourself ride it out. Don't try and suppress the feelings just because you feel the need to act strong. If you don't let yourself process these feelings, it'll never get easier. It's okay to not be okay." He nods reassuringly. You smile at him toothlessly before sighing and getting yourself together. Although it had been quite the day, you felt a little relieved being able to talk to Jin about what's been going on. You felt a little more put together than you did earlier in the day and that's all that mattered. Baby steps.

"Is it okay if I give you a hug?" You asked shyly. You didn't know how else you could thank him for listening to you. You were sure he had tons of things on his plate, yet he still took time to sit with you out in the cold just to make sure you were okay. He chuckles and stands, his arms wide open, ready to envelope you. You wrap your arms around his torso, taking in his scent and breathing him in. He gently rubs your back before you pull away and smile up at him.

"I'll take a hug any day."

"I hope Grace won't be upset with you for coming home a little later than expected."

"She'll be fine. She's at the restaurant working late." His lips were pulled together in a fine line.

"Thank you again." You pull out your phone to check the time. 30 minutes from the last time Taehyung texted you was almost up, so you felt the need to get going sooner than later.

"It's not a problem." He puts his hand out, signaling for your phone. "Do me a favor and just let me when you get home, though? I'd feel better knowing you're safe and sound." You nod and hand him your phone. You knew you couldn't get wrapped up in whatever this was, no matter how flattered you were from the attention you were getting from him. He was still engaged, and he was still planning a life with Grace. The last thing you wanted to do was ruin that for someone genuine like Jin.

But God, was he making it difficult for you.

"I can do that."

"Thanks." He smiles toothlessly at you. "If you're ever in need of company or someone to talk to, don't hesitate to let me know. I'll be there in a heartbeat."

"Okay." You grabbed your things before walking away. Jin stood there, watching you walk deeper into the garage, feeling good about having been there at the right time. Something as simple as the hug you gave him had his thoughts running wild, just feeling your touch and your body against his. Albeit, it could be the lack of attention between him and Grace causing him to feel this way, but it was enticing all at the same time.

You were enticing.

And he could pick up on your little habits that made him want to know more. The way you'd look at him inside and outside of class. The way you always dressed so nicely when you had to take his class. The way you passed closely to the front desk, allowing him to take in your scent. The way you and your friends acted around him, knowing they were teasing you.

He knew, and he also knew what he was doing when he put his number in your phone.

He gets home and just as he mentions, Grace is still out at the restaurant working late. He kicks his shoes off to the side and heats up some leftovers to eat before retreating up to the master bedroom to call it a night early. As he's getting out of his clothes from today and heading into the shower, he notices his phone vibrating on the bathroom countertop, signaling a text.

[unknown number] 9:37pm: Hi, I'm safe and sound at home. :)

He smiles to himself before responding and heading into the shower.

[jin] 9:38pm: :) Goodnight Y/N, see you tomorrow.

[seagreen-meets-grey]

When Lightning Strikes Ch. 15

When your life is nothing but a cloudless sky, lightning can come and strike you so unexpectedly, you won’t even know what hit you.

Or: When Hiccup and Astrid meet, it is as if lightning strikes.

[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5] [Chapter 6] [Chapter 7] [Chapter 8] [Chapter 9] [Chapter 10] [Chapter 11] [Chapter 12] [Chapter 13] [Chapter 14] [Chapter 16] [Chapter 17] [Chapter 18] [Chapter 19] [Chapter 20]

Crossposted on ao3 and ff.net

_______________

The rain splattering against the window glass shook Hiccup out of his stupor. Lips still tingling where they had just so brushed against hers, he hurried through the apartment and onto the balcony where the wind was blowing enough rain under the roof that it hit most of his clothes. Resigned, he picked up the drying rack and maneuvered it into the living room. It wasn’t like any of the clothes had already dried, anyway. Besides, this had distracted him for at least two minutes from his brain’s attempt at understanding what had happened in the last hour.

A knot was forming in his stomach and it grew limbs, spreading into his chest, knocking against his ribs for attention. “Oh, bud. What a mess, huh.” Toothless looked up from his nap on the couch, blinking at Hiccup before laying his eyes on the newest accessory in the room. A few socks were still swinging slightly from earlier momentum and he swiped at them with his paw. Hiccup picked him up and flopped onto the couch himself, putting the cat down on his stomach where it immediately lay down and eyed him expectantly.

“This is not going to end well. We can’t pretend anymore that everything’s fine. And I can’t still wait for her to get more clarity and maybe eventually come around, can I?” Toothless started licking his paw. “Yeah, yeah. I know, bud.” He sighed. “No more waiting, no more guessing, no more holding out. She’s on her way home right now. She’ll want to save her marriage. And I can’t stand between her and a happy life now, right?” The cat didn’t answer, only the voice of a radio host crossed the distance between him and the kitchen. He ran his hand over the sleek black fur until the sound of purring provided the right background noise for his thoughts.

“It doesn’t matter what I feel and it doesn’t matter if she ever felt something for me-“, he allowed himself a moment of daydreaming, “because she has a husband, and yeah, they need to work through some issues, but if she wants to do that, then I want to support her decision. I don’t want to, but then again, I do. Toothless, does that make sense?” The cat’s ears perked up at the sound of its name. Hiccup looked his bud in the eyes, searching for an answer to his dilemma. “I guess, if you love somebody, you want them to be happy, even if it means you leave empty-handed and with a life’s worth of heartache.”

For a while, he watched the gray sky through the living room windows, stroking his cat’s back. The radio host was replaced by ads, then music, briefly interrupted by a traffic report. Some confused Toyota driver was going the wrong way. Or maybe they were going the right way, they just picked the wrong lane. Or the wrong way on the right lane. Did that make sense? What was the right way to go here? Was he doing the right thing? Was there even a right lane to pick?

He groaned and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. The purring stopped. Soon enough, the weight on his stomach disappeared when Toothless decided he’d had enough of Hiccup’s drama. “You’re right, bud. Can’t keep doing this forever.” He lifted himself up with a heavy heart trying to pull him back down. But there was no use.

On his way out, he grabbed only his phone and an umbrella. The air had cooled significantly, raising goosebumps on his skin. Maybe he should have brought a jacket. He considered going back inside to get one, but the option of staying there and waiting for the world to fix itself was too tempting, so he turned around and started walking down the street. He had to end this.

_______________

She had to end this. The entire ride home, she drummed her fingers on the wheel, bounced her unoccupied leg up and down, shifted on her seat with restless energy at every traffic light, every intersection, every speed limit sign. She was both anxious and determined. There had never been a point in her life where she’d been more sure about anything. Least of all on her actual wedding day, as she could finally admit with a feeling of sweet relief.

When she turned her key in the door to the apartment, however, her hands felt like lead. While she’d come clean about her feelings to herself, she had yet to do it in front of someone else, someone who deserved to know it probably the most. Someone whose voice carried over from the living room.

Quietly closing the door behind her, she took off shoes and still damp jacket like she’d done for almost every day for the past year and a half. Her keys jingled and she closed her fist around them in order to smother the sound. Why she didn’t want him to know she was here was beyond her, but the second she decided on announcing her presence, someone else beat her to the chase.

Momentarily perplexed, she halted in her step towards the living room, trying to place the male voice chattering away, prompting a chuckle from Eret. Her curiosity whacked her anxiety over the head and she turned the corner to see who it was.

The man sitting next to Eret on the couch was unfamiliar to her. Tall, broad shoulders, muscles, casually-styled sandy hair. Crossed legs, one arm draped over the back of the couch, the other holding a beer, comfortable. He was the first to notice her, pausing mid-sentence to curiously raise his eyebrows in her direction. His eyes were the color of liquid chocolate, at least 70% cocoa. He was handsome, with a pleasant, welcoming smile. Eret followed his eyes and flinched.

Astrid raised a hand in greeting, uncertain about what to do. This other person in the apartment disrupted her plan. “Hi.”

“Hi, there.” The man waved back, looking at Eret expectantly, waiting for an introduction.

Eret cleared his throat, a nervous tilt in his smile. “Um, this is Astrid, my wife. Astrid… This is Timothy.” She racked her brain when that name rung a bell somewhere in the back of her mind, especially as he sent her a meaningful look. “My coworker. The one I told you about.”

“Oh,” she said. Then something clicked. “Oh.” The coworker he’d told her about. Repeatedly. The one she’d mistook for his mistress. Well, fuck, kill her now.

“Nice to meet you, hon.” When she frowned at that nickname, he was quick to put his hands up in an apologetic manner. “Sorry, that probably came out wrong. It’s just what I call everyone.” He slapped a hand on Eret’s knee. “Even this chap here.”

Eret copied the gesture. “And our boss.” The two men shared a laugh and Astrid’s eyes flitted back and forth between them, feeling like an outsider to a deeper inside joke. Their laughter subsided and they seemed to remember she was still in the room. “Do you… want to sit?” Eret asked hesitantly, conveying the same uneasiness she felt. She simply cut to the chase.

“We need to talk.”

Fortunately, Timothy understood his cue. “Well, hons,” he announced, drinking the rest of his beer and standing up from the couch, “I guess it’s time for me to hit the road. Gotta beat that Sunday traffic.” He laughed at his own joke when no one else did, not even his hon chap Eret, whose mood had suddenly turned serious.

They said goodbye to Timothy and when the door closed behind him, Eret discarded of the empty beer bottles and they sat in silence on separate ends of the couch for a few minutes. Astrid tried to sort through everything they needed to cover in this conversation, but she didn’t know where to begin, although it was all in a way connected. But what probably made her anxious the most was how to go on from there. She didn’t want to end this day with another fight, didn’t want to lose her closest friend in the aftermath of this whole mess. No more yelling and accusing, that’s what Hiccup had advised.

“So… Timothy, huh,” she made the first step, stilted lighthearted tone sounding absolutely misplaced to her ears.

But Eret gladly jumped onto the first wooden plank. In order to get to the other side of this chasm, they would have to build the bridge together. “Yeah. Tim is…”

“Your coworker,” she finished. “And not your mistress.” She didn’t avert her eyes as she said it, owning up to her mistake.

“Not my… No. But what I told you about Dana is true. She tried to seduce me. Several times, actually, even though I told her I’m married and not interested.” The old monster scratched at her abdomen, but she refused to pay attention to it.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked instead, keeping her voice as level as possible, and received the same effort from Eret.

“I tried to, but you wouldn’t hear me out! Besides, I could handle her. It didn’t mean anything to me. And with the way you accused me of cheating, I was glad I hadn’t told you earlier.”

She felt the words like a punch to the gut. “Well, if you had told me earlier, then maybe I wouldn’t have gotten so suspicious when you kept talking about your coworker every other minute of the day like a teenager gushing about his crush!” He winced and averted his face. She’d somehow struck a nerve there, which made her guilt explode from where it was nesting inside her ribcage. Throwing her hands up in the air, she jumped up and released it all with one loud yell. “GAH, I’M SORRY!”

He still wouldn’t look at her. “Okay.”

“What do you mean – okay?!” She started pacing through the room. “I’m hurt you didn’t share the fact with me that someone came onto you several times – which is harassment, by the way – and then I rubbed it in by accusing you of committing to it! I’m fucking sorry, Eret!” She kicked at the couch and a flash of pain shot through her toes. Well, so much for no yelling.

“Yeah.” The couch table was still more interesting than her. “That’s why Tim was here. We were discussing how to report Dana without her claiming harassment and sexism herself.”

Astrid put her hands on her hips, taking stance. “Just say the word and I’m gonna knock her fucking skull in.”

He huffed. “I can handle it.”

“You can han– Eret, I’m not some bozo offering you tips on selling your car! I know I should have let you speak yesterday when you called and I’m sorry I didn’t. I couldn’t handle it. I don’t know if you noticed, but I’ve been running from confrontations for quite a while. And will you please just look at me?!”

Jaw clenched, he finally met her gaze, and for the second time that day, she was met with a look in someone’s eyes she wasn’t expecting. She’d prepared herself for fury, for a stubborn wall of fire, for a loaded canon – but not for hurt, guilt, insecurity. Her anger deflated.

“I know.” He was almost whispering. “I should know. I should know that I can always count on you.”

“You should know?” The implication wasn’t lost on her and it stung like a hundred bees. “Why do you think you can’t count on me?”

“I… I didn’t mean that. I know you’d do anything. It’s just that…” He got on his feet, pulling at his short ponytail, voice rising. “Every time you become distant, and we fight, and you go on your solo trips, it’s like there’s a whole world out there for you that I’m not a part of. Over time, that feeling festers, and it makes me wonder.” He paused, piercing her with a look that demanded only the truth. “There’s someone else, isn’t there.” She blinked, sucker-punched to the lungs, staring back at him, shock evident on her face, judging by his grave nod. “So there is.”

“I…” This was not how she’d imagined this topic to be broached. Her first instinct was to tell him that nothing happened, but as of this afternoon, that would be a lie. “It’s complicated.”

Eret shook his head disappointingly, a gesture that irked her a lot. “Accusing me of cheating and then…”

“I didn’t cheat on you!” He regarded her with poisonous doubt, frown deepening. No more running. “Yes, I have feelings for someone else! But it’s not like I planned so, and it’s not like I didn’t try to fight it, and I certainly didn’t do it on purpose!”

“But still you didn’t talk about it with your husband!”

“Like that’s something you do!” The guilt, the frustration, it all came together in a giant wave, pressing every emotion out of her chest with the volume of a tsunami. “Like you just go to your spouse, the one you promised to love until death, the one you made a fucking huge commitment to for the rest of your life, you just go up to them and say hey, guess what, I’m in love with someone else, what do you think of that, do you want potatoes or rice for dinner?!” She sucked air into her lungs with a sharp, shaky breath, not slowing down, even as her eyes began to sting. “This is not something you do, it’s not something you fucking do, just like that, expecting not to make everything worse, and admitting that the biggest decision I ever made in my entire life led to a big! Fucking! Failure!”

A hot tear ran down her cheek and when she wiped it away, more followed, until she was quietly sobbing, shoulders shaking as she refused to break down completely. She felt raw and exposed, exhausted after her emotional outburst. Eret said nothing for a long minute. Then he sunk back onto the couch and put his head in his hands, fingers raking through his dark hair, messing it up until most of it had escaped the ponytail.

“I need a drink,” she mumbled and walked into the kitchen. Eyeing the bottle of wine on the shelf, she opted for some peppermint tea. Calming, refreshing, and didn’t have to cool in the fridge first. Waiting for the kettle to boil, she took a deep breath. Slowly, the shaking subsided and the tears stopped running. She wiped her hand over her swollen eyes and blew her nose on a paper towel.

When the water boiled, she grabbed her favorite mug from the cupboard and fished the last tea bag from the box. She let it steep for a few minutes, regaining her composure, before she returned to the living room. Leaning against the bookcase opposite to the couch, mindful of the stack of beautifully illustrated books behind her, she carefully took a sip, relishing the feeling of hot tea calming her nerves. Eret was still hunched over, head in his hands.

“I was gushing about my crush,” he finally said, voice low and brittle, laden with the effort of finding the courage to get the words out.

She sniffed, unsure if she’d heard him right. “What?”

“I… have feelings for someone else, too.”

It took her embarrassingly long to connect the dots. “Huh.” She sat down next to him, processing the information. In a strange way, it made sense. She couldn’t explain it, but it just felt… It felt like Eret. And it also explained all the knee touching from earlier. “Oh man,” she sighed. “We’re a mess, huh.”

He tentatively glanced up at her. She noticed the little pools of tears that had formed in his eyes and she realized he’d been as afraid to tell her about his feelings as she’d been, probably even more so. Eret had always been so sure about himself and his place in the world, something that had attracted her to him in the first place. Discovering this new side of himself, the confusion, the fear of people’s reaction, her reaction – she couldn’t exactly say she could relate. Meeting his worried expression, she gave him a reassuring smile and reached for his hand. His sigh of relief cut straight through her heart, and when he accepted her hand and returned her light squeeze, it felt like companionship.

“So… Timothy, huh,” she repeated her earlier line, eliciting a small shaky laugh from Eret. He sat up and leaned back against the cushions, wiping a hand over his face.

“Yeah… He’s great.” He turned to her with an earnest face. “I’m sorry. You’re right, this is a mess.”

“Well, I’m glad we agree on something for once.”

For a while, they just sat there holding hands in companiable silence, feeling closer than they had in a very long time, the only sound an occasional slurping of tea.

“I know I should have asked this sooner,” she finally said, “but do you want to talk about it?”

He seemed to be wrestling with himself for a moment and she tried her best to not feel offended by his hesitation. She wasn’t any better, after all. “I don’t really know what to say. One day I’m a heterosexual fella going to bed with his wife, the next I’m thinking about all the different ways I wanted to touch my new coworker. The rest just spiraled from there.”

“When did that happen?”

“About a year ago,” he confessed, carefully regarding her reaction.

“Okay, so, do you know if Timothy’s into men?”

“Uh yes, very openly so, he carries his cute little rainbow flag everywhere and constantly complains to me about the horrible guys he’s dated.”

“Good, that’s good.” He curiously raised his eyebrows at the scheming look on her face. “Have you talked to him about your sexuality?”

“No, I haven’t told anyone, and how are you so okay with this?”

Now she really did feel offended, putting the empty mug on the couch table with a clank. “Excuse me? My best friend tells me he likes dicks and he asks me if I’m okay with it?!”

“Your best friend is also your husband. And that’s not what I meant. You’re weirdly calm about the fact that I’ve been emotionally cheating on you for months on end.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “Sorry, did you not hear me yelling about my feelings for another man back there? You know, right before I burst into tears? We’re in the same boat here, buddy.”

He snorted. “I don’t know if I like this sarcasm on you.”

“It may have rubbed off on me from someone else,” she admitted.

“Right. Your someone else.”

“Hmm…” She bit her lip. “I really am sorry. I thought about telling you, but I never did, because I had this stupid notion in my head that telling you would mean I failed at something. Namely, making the right decision when I married you.”

“That… No, that makes sense. Sounds like Astrid to me.”

“But was I right?” she asked uncertainly. “Does this mean I failed?”

“Well… You said earlier – or better, you yelled – that your decision led to big failure. Do you really think that’s what this is? A big, fucking, failed marriage?”

Now that she heard him say it, she didn’t need to contemplate much. “Yes and no? I don’t regret marrying you. I love you, but not the way I used to. You’re my closest friend and incredibly important to me, and I will always treasure our time together, past and present. But… That is all I can give you.”

An enormous weight disappeared from her chest when she said it out loud and when Eret nodded and agreed, “I feel the same… I think.” He scratched his head. “No, I’m sure that’s what it is. And I’m also one hundred percent sure I was very into you, which makes me at least bisexual, doesn’t it?”

“Maybe.” She shrugged. “Sexuality can be fluid, right? So who knows what nuance of sexuality you are and what you’ll be next week. Anyway, I wouldn’t be mad at you if you decided you’ve always been gay. Would it feel weird to hear you tell me you never actually loved me? Probably. Would I get hung up on it, knowing you cared about me deeply in a platonic way? Fucking hell not.”

Eret grinned in a relieved and almost proud way. “I’m glad you’re my friend, Hofferson.”

“Me too.” She took a deep breath. “So, does that mean…”

“That this is over?” he completed her sentence and gestured between them, an understanding passing between them. “Yes, I would say so.”

Relief washed over her, combined with a bit of sadness, then peace, and not one flicker of doubt. She leaned into her best friend, her soon-to-be ex-husband, and hugged him tightly for a long minute.

When they pulled away, the shadows in the room had grown longer, announcing the imminent departure of the sun. Soon the horizon would light up colorfully, ending the day with a temporary, ever-changing painting that put every self-respecting lava lamp to shame. Realizing how late it already was, Astrid couldn’t believe how much time had passed since she’d had lunch with Hiccup, and how long she’d talked with Eret.

“Full disclosure, though,” she said while getting up to switch on the light, “last week I took a pregnancy test and it was negative.” Eret blinked a couple times. “Turns out it had just been a mixture of too much emotional stress and chocolate cake that made me take it.”

“Chocolate cake,” he repeated a bit dumbfounded, following her as she carried her empty cup into the kitchen.

“Yeah, I tried to bake the perfect cake and the one I ate was way too sweet.”

“The one you– Did you eat an entire chocolate cake by yourself? While your favorite pool was closed?”

“Oh, I’m glad that’s the part you choose to focus on.”

He sat down at the kitchen table and absentmindedly mimed stroking an invisible beard, a habit he’d picked up when he’d grown an absolutely hideous goatee in college. “I don’t know, I’m still processing it. Were you… sad? Okay? I don’t know what to say here.”

“I was glad. You know I want kids one day, but not like this.”

He nodded. “Probably best. Not that I wouldn’t have been happy regardless – wait, was it even mine?”

“The baby that doesn’t exist?” she scowled at him. “Yes, of course it would have been yours, you muttonhead!”

Holding his hands up in surrender, he believed her. “Alright, alright. I don’t know, could have been your secret lover.” Her scowl deepened and he quickly continued. “But you’re right. It’s better this way.”

“Good, glad we agree. Now will you please stop with the non-existent beard? You look ridiculous.”

“Tim thinks it’s funny.”

That brought the scheming look back on her face. “Seems to me like he’s interested in you. Now that you’re single, you should ask him out.”

A nervous chuckle escaped him and he squirmed a little in his seat. “I don’t know. I just agreed on a divorce.”

“That’s not the problem. You’ve wanted to do it for a long time. You’re a chicken.”

“I’m just being considerate of you–“

“Bullshit. You’re a chicken.”

With a groan, he frowned at her. “You’re quite a handful sometimes, do you know that?”

“Chicken,” she sang, finding joy in pushing his buttons without another fight looming on the horizon. She’d missed her friend and she finally had him back.

“Okay, fine! I haven’t had to ask anyone out since you. I don’t know how to flirt anymore.”

She snorted. “Seriously?” Sitting down next to him, she draped one hand behind him over the chair, shuffled closer and placed the other on his knee, regarding him from beneath her eyelashes. “Are you sure about that, hon?” He jokingly pushed her away, tipping her chair a little. “I think you were doing just fine earlier. Just text him that you want to go out for beer and tell him what happened. Then you can pepper in that you want his dick and voilà, you got yourself a hot date.”

“Yeah, yeah. I think I’m just gonna start with the beer.” He fished his phone out of his pocket and began to type before he paused and looked at her in earnest. “I feel good about this. How about you?”

Something told her he wasn’t just talking about asking out his crush. “Yes, absolutely. This feels right.”

With a content nod, he continued typing and hesitated just a second before sending his message. “Phew, done.” Another thought seemed to come to his mind. “Err, by the way, you’re not my dictator.”

“Huh?”

“Yesterday on the phone, I called you a dictator. That’s not true.”

“Yeah, we both said pretty mean things in the past. Things we didn’t actually mean and are sorry for.” Hiccup would be proud of her. She’d stopped running from an important confrontation, she’d talked about her feelings, she’d let Eret speak without accusing him of stuff, and she’d only yelled a little. It felt good. She wanted to tell him. Where was her phone?

“Apology accepted and returned. Great, now that we settled that, you still haven’t told me about the other guy.” He cracked his knuckles, receiving an unimpressed look. “I want to know who will pay part of the divorce.”

She punched his biceps. “He’s not going to pay shit, you cocky bastard.”

Rubbing the now sore spot on his arm, he shrugged and earned himself an eyeroll. “Worth a try.”

Seemed like calling Hiccup had to wait a little. But after waiting for so long to tell him about her feelings for him, what were a few minutes more? It wasn’t like he was going anywhere.

“Okay… Um. Do you remember Dagur’s 30th birthday party?” she started.

Eret chuckled. “Eh, partially. It was a wild night.”

“But do you remember Hiccup?”

He searched his memory for a second. “Heather’s ex? The skinny guy with the jawline?”

“Yes. He was at the party.” Now came the part that was hard to tell the guy that she’d been engaged to back then. “I will not call it fate or destiny or anything at first sight. But… Do you remember when you claimed you could repair the oven by yourself and were almost electrocuted?”

Not sure where this was going, and with the remnants of a hurt ego in his posture, Eret nodded. “Yeah?”

“Well, meeting Hiccup was like that, but without the pain. I felt like I was the current. And the funniest thing is, the moment I saw him, the lightning storm started outside.”

“Oh yeah,” he mumbled. “I remember there being rain.”

Encouraged by his lack of judgement so far, she continued. “I didn’t understand my sudden attraction to him at first, I just knew that it was strong and it only grew stronger over time, even though I only met him a couple times after that. That one time when we were out doing wedding chores, remember?”

After a minute of contemplation, he nodded. “When you bought that book that he painted pictures for and were super excited about it.”

She rolled her eyes. “He didn’t paint pictures for it, he illustrated the cover. And it was absolutely gorgeous!”

“So, he did paint pictures for it.”

“Oh, shut up. You know what I mean.”

He shrugged, not understanding what the big deal was. But he waved at her to continue.

“I thought it was just a phase and I didn’t want to bother you with it and dampen your mood. You were so happy and looking forward to our wedding and I didn’t want to ruin that by telling you something that would have been over just a few weeks later, anyway. Only that it wasn’t a phase. And the longer I waited, the worse it got.” Her fingers found a lose thread on the tablecloth and she absentmindedly started playing with it. “I was in denial about it. That was the only way for me to keep my sanity the closer we came to our wedding day. In the end, I decided to go through with the wedding because I didn’t want to just throw away everything we built together.”

“Did…” He gulped. “Did anything ever happen between you back then?”

She shook her head. “No. He came to the party, though. We talked outside for a while and I invited him in, as a friend. But he said we shouldn’t see each other anymore. Looking back, that was probably for the best, no matter how much it hurt, because the moment I saw him again a week ago, it all came back in an instant. Not that it was ever truly gone.”

A spark of understanding flashed up in Eret’s eyes. “Is that why you acted so weird from time to time? Distant, I mean?”

“Yeah, that was part of the reason. I just… I felt like something was missing from my life. That’s why I went on my solo trips. To try and find myself, I guess. It helped in the moment, but not in the long run.”

He looked bashful. “And I thought you were going on vacations with your lover.”

Astrid discovered that being on the other side of such an accusation didn’t hurt any differently than making the accusation herself. “I would never do that! I may have kept important feelings from you, but I would never cheat!”

“Me neither.”

“I know.”

“You do?”

She crossed her arms. “Yes! I only accused you of it because I wanted a reason to escape a relationship that didn’t make me happy anymore. I know I should have just talked to you earlier. We already settled that.”

“Okay.” He nudged her with his foot. “Go on.”

“Like I said, I ran into him last week. I thought I could just be friends with him and push my feelings away, but no.” A little nervous, she left the tablecloth be and twirled strands of hair between her fingers. “I was with him when you called. He showed me his favorite spot in the woods. And… Well, he advised me to talk to you about everything. But I hadn’t even admitted my feelings to myself, so anything beyond that seemed impossible. I lashed out at him as well.” The memory of their fight was still fresh on her mind. It had only happened a day ago, but it felt like weeks had passed since then.

“So, he doesn’t know how you feel.”

“Well… He might have an idea. He certainly knows there’s something between us; he addressed it during our fight yesterday. And… I kind of kissed him today. I didn’t plan on doing it, I just… did it. It wasn’t even a real kiss, our lips barely touched, but– I think it was obvious enough.” At this point, she had pulled out a considerable amount of hair with her fingers, tangling it into a ball. “Then I decided I could no longer go on like that and came here.” Eret was quiet for a while. “What do you say?”

“I say we should have talked way sooner. Would have saved us both a lot of pain. Did you talk to anyone else about this?”

“My mom, but that was still before the wedding. She definitely suspects something now as well, though. And I thought about telling Ruffnut, but she’d have just found a way to include your looks into her arguments and based her opinion on that.”

He chuckled. “Good call. That woman needs to get laid more.” She kicked his shin. “Ow! What was that for?”

“She doesn’t need to get laid like some horny rabbit! She’s just very shallow regarding looks sometimes.”

“Okay, sorry,” he apologized, rubbing his shin. That should be a nice bruise tomorrow. Good. “Does he like you?”

Her heart skipped a beat. “I think so.” A sudden memory flashed through her mind. “I think he even told me once! I ran into him shortly after he and Heather broke up and he said he liked someone else. He said he couldn’t ask her out because she was engaged. Looking back, what are the chances he wasn’t talking about me?” The more she pondered it, the more obvious it seemed. Excited butterflies were dancing through her stomach. No, really, was she remembering this right?

The short sound of a speeding race car came from Eret’s phone, three times in a row, and the little notification light lit up. Eret fumbled for the device. From the look on his face, she could guess who texted him back.

“And?” she asked impatiently.

“He’s in for a beer. Tomorrow after work.”

“Yes!” She held her hand up for a high-five, but Eret was too busy texting Timothy back.

“Now you,” he said when he put his phone down. “I can’t be the only one going on a date right after breaking up with my spouse.”

“Right.” Her heart started pounding as she got up to retrieve her phone from her jacket and leaned against the kitchen counter. She was going to do this. Now.

She had three missed calls. One from her mom, which she ignored. Because the other two were from Hiccup. Understandably, after she basically bolted from his kitchen earlier. There was a voicemail attached. With jet planes flying through her stomach, she pressed her phone to her ear, heart kicking harder against her ribs when she heard his voice.

As she listened to his message, one plane after the other crashed from the sky in a fiery explosion.

Eret looked at her in concern. “Everything alright?”

Her pulse was deafening in her ears, blood rushing through her veins, trying to make her heart beat again. “Fuck.”

[imxeracus]

Baby Steps

Pairing: Gruvia ofc Inspired by FT 100 Years Quest Chapter 58. Sorry I took so long! But here’s one for the books. :) I used the “I’m glad you’re safe” part because a lot of people did the ballroom reference. I might do that one day but not now haha. Also about the places I’m not really accurate okay. I didn’t go check where everyone was exactly so please don’t attack me on it. Here you guys go anyway. Enjoy hopefully? Also this became too long I’m sry ––––––––––– “Damn, this town is confusing.”   Gray and Juvia sat down on a bench nearby, panting heavily. Before this were running across the streets looking left and right for any signs of their own guild members. They were surprised that they cannot find any in sight as they were just together not too long ago. It did not help that they were just fighting earlier on as well. Juvia was thirsty, and she wondered if Gray – well, was thirsty too after all that and wanted to suggest he ought to drink some water. Her water, to be exact.   She blushed at the thought of it. She did not mean anything else but it did seem a little awkward and she worried that it would ruin the mood they have been having. She shook her head. No, she thought. Gray-sama wouldn’t get turn off just because of this right? Things are different now between him and Juvia – maybe, but still…. She took a glance at him and sees that he Is still trying to catch his breath when Juvia already managed to compose herself. Without further ado she reached out for his shoulder to inquire when a voice was heard in both of their minds.   “Gray, Juvia, are you guys alright? where are the both of you?” This voice..   “Warren! Is that you?” Gray spoke up in surprise.   “Glad to hear you guys are alright. We are over at the west side of this town, where Natsu is. We went to find him.”   “That explains why you guys were not near us! We’ll head over there now. Thanks man.”   “See you guys.”   With that Warren shut down his telepathic powers and Gray got up almost immediately, Juvia following suit. He did not seem to be panting anymore, but excited to go back to where everyone else were. The duo continued to walk their way towards the west side, the distance way further than they expected. However, they eventually reached and sure enough saw them all, gathered around a battered, but very cheerful pink dragon slayer.  They were observing the scene — where Lucy was on the brink of crying as Natsu consoled her with a pat on the head. Juvia’s heart went giddy at the sight of it as she recalled how Gray also did something similar to that. She smiled to herself as she touched her own cossack hat, not daring to look at Gray to wonder if he felt the same. “’Yer look like a freak, smiling to yourself like that.” She felt a huge weight on top of her head as her body sunk down a little in surprise, and looked at the person who caused it with fondly discontentment. “Gajeel-kun.” “Yo.” Gajeel smirked. “Guess you two got ‘em good, huh?” “Gajeel! I was wondering where you wen- Oh, Gray and Juvia are back too!” Levy came and proceeded to hug Juvia with care, not hurting her belly. “I’m so glad the two of you are safe!” “Juvia’s glad too that everything worked out fine in the end.” “How did you guys defeat him? Was it with the power of love?” Levy grew a suspicious smile as Juvia blushed and mumbled incoherently at that bold statement, unsure of what to say. She wanted to say that it was, but Gray was rather vague and did not mention the word “love”. Even though she was rather confident it was, but she did not immediately dare to say so.  Before she could think of saying anything, Gray cleared his throat and it caught the rest of their attention. His head was hung low, daring himself to glance at Juvia with a look that she could not comprehend as he quickly looked away. “I’m gonna go rest for abit.” With that he took his leave, leaving all of them and Juvia, confused. He looked as if he wanted to tell her something but did not. What did his look meant? “Guess Ice Boy has some ants in his pants.” Levy lightly smacked him and reprimanded him for his rude statement, as Juvia walked away. She was curious yet concerned as to what he wanted to tell her. However, the bluenette decided to shake it off as went to rest. The guild was planning to host a celebration tonight before leaving the next day.  With nothing much packed, she wore her usual outfit and was relieved to see everyone doing the same. She was worried that it was going to be something grand and did not want to look plain — however this was her guild, she should have known it was going to be casual with lots of brawling involved. She caught sight of her beloved as he was having his usual brawl with Natsu before the reequip mage came and put it to an end, rendering them defeated and begging for her mercy. She giggled at the sight of it and went to take a drink herself as she sat with Cana, Lucy and Levy for the night. They were talking about the mother-to-be as the bookworm was expecting in a few months time. Juvia smiled as they converse, though she could not help but feel a little envious whenever she heard about her iron dragon slayer friend ironing out his life well with a partner and eventually, becoming a father himself.  She glanced at Gray from afar and wondered if they would reach that point of becoming lovers. Recently, things have been different for them despite him leaving her for the quest temporarily. She never knew the reason why, but today got her mind in circles. She’s my power to live. I’m glad you’re safe. .... I’m gonna go rest for abit. Juvia shook it off and knew that if Gray did not want to talk about it, she could never force him. Though she silently wished in her heart that he would tell her more. Eventually, the night passed but instead of staying back to drink with the rest, she decided that it was time to go as she would be leaving early the next day. She began to walk back in peaceful silence with her head titled downwards, deep in thoughts about her beloved ice mage. Juvia sighed as she wondered how she would to face him tomorrow. If possible, the bluenette did not want to leave before getting the clarification she so desired. “I didn’t think you’d be excusing yourself this soon.” Juvia turned in surprise to see none other than Gray Fullbuster – the man who has been in her thoughts – in flesh himself. “Juvia didn’t think it’d be wise to get wasted again before leaving tomorrow, what about you Gray-sama?” She quickly smiled as his eyes rolled in immediate response to her question.

“Me? No way in hell I’m gonna go through the Christmas drama again.” She giggled at how typical his response was, while Gray soften his gaze on her as she did so. He slightly blushed, knowing that what he mentioned was only half true. “Well...” The ice mage scratches the back of his neck, feeling a little nervous. “I also–um, saw you going out.” “Eh–? Gray-sama saw Juvia?” He saw her the moment she was feeling flustered earlier on. He heard her faint laughter from afar as he brawled with Natsu. He saw her as she went to sit with the girls.  He saw her leaving the place with a saddened look on her face, which hurt him so badly. His eyes became half lidded as he pulled her right wrist gently with his left hand, hearing a small gasp leave her lips. Little did she know – he too had been wondering how to talk to her before she goes back. He too, wanted her to know more about his feelings, but it was a challenge for a person like him. I was looking at you the whole time, Gray thought to himself, but struggled to get the words out of his mouth. Too many years has it been building up his own wall of ice, that it became difficult for him to tear it back down. “Baby steps.” He managed. “Let’s take baby steps together.” He looked up instantly when her body became feeble from his grasp to find Juvia in her lovestruck state. “G-G-Gray-sama wants to have a baby with Juvia!?” “I-I didn’t mean THAT!” Gray quickly defended as he tried to shake it off her with his hands on her shoulders, beet red as a tomato. “ Calm down Juvia! I want us to work out but I can’t go all the way yet!” Juvia eventually compose herself and Gray slapped his forehead, sighing as he wondered why did he not think through his words more. He wanted to crawl into a hole and die somewhere, but knew there was no turning back on the things he said. “What I mean is–um–I know I promised you an answer. I made you wait for so long and I know you want this to work. I-I want the same.” Juvia’s heart melted at the sincerity of his voice as he went on. “I know it would take a long time being the fool I am, but I want us to take small steps to our relationship. I’m really bad at my words, Juvia. I’m really bad at public affections but–um–” He nervously took her hand in his and gulped loudly, a faint blush tinting his cheeks. “This is okay for a start?” He averted his gaze. It was too much for him to bear after his grand speech. She too flushed at his actions, but managed to smile softly and squeezed his hand in response. “Yes, Gray-sama.” They began to walk together hand in hand back, feeling each others’ warmth. She looked at Gray’s back as he was ahead of her slightly and could tell how red he was by the ears. Her heart squeezed, knowing he was trying hard for her sake and she appreciated it. The water mage smiled to herself as could not believe how a simple journey back to her room became unexpectedly pleasant.  “When I get back, maybe we should have a d-date or something.”  And it could not get any better than this.

[cherriesradio]

“I… I think I’m different. Not in a hero kinda way, ya know?”

You coming out to different pro hero’s about your sexuality.

(Because I am currently craving validation)

All Might, EraserHead, Hawks, and Fat Gum

All Might

You always knew that the pro hero was incredibly supportive of everyone.

But for some reason… he had never mentioned on the news or on media if he supports the LGBTQ community.

Which, was strange. Of course he hadn’t gone out of his way to support ANY community, he was busy, ya know, SAVING people from those community’s.

And knowing how friendly and good of a perosn the hero was, you decided that he was one of the best to confide in about a secret you had had for a while.

You stayed after class that day, not wanting to attract attention.

You had heard that All Might was staying later then normal to do some extra paper work, which meant that this was the perfect time.

You walked down the long white halls, going up flight after flight of stairs till you were at the floor of cubicles and the feeling of boredom.

“All Might?” You said, peaking around the corner of the large room.

“Young L/n! What do you need?” He looked up, his black eyes and large smile looking as welcoming as always.

“Um… I wanted to tell you something. It’s uh… kinda important.” You stepped in and rubbed the back of your neck.

He nodded, and stood from his seat, walking to you at the front of the room. “Would you want to sit over there?”

He pointed to the white chair next to the window.

“Sure.” You nodded, already nervous as ever.

“So, Young L/n, what is so important? Is it something involving hero work, or your future career?” He titled his head. You gulped.

“Well, I- it technically will probably heavily effect more future career, but it doenst really invoke hero stuff.” You bite your lip and played with your hands inbetween your legs.

“Hm. What’s important that you need to tell me, even if it doenst involve hero’s? I am a hero expert, after all.” He smiled. He was trying to make you laugh, he could probably feel the nerves coming off your body.

You awkwardly chuckle.

“Well … uh, it’s real personal and your really accepting of everything and stuff and I thought I could trust you with it, and I’m…”

All Might smiled to himself. “True. Now, what were you wanting to tell me? No pony in beating around the bush.”

You sighed, quickly gaining a billion pounds more of anxiousness.

“I…” You squeezed your hands. “I think I’m y/s.” (Y/s = your sexuality)

He had a slight look of surprise, looking up with his electric blue and black eyes right into yours.

“That’s wonderful, L/n!” He smiled.

“R-really!?”

“Yes! Have you told anyone else yet?” He asked

“Well, no, not really.” You giggle.

“Oh. I’m honored!”

EraserHead

You always liked Mr. Aizawa

He was calm in any situation, and knew how to handle most things. You admired his strong quirk and how he didn’t need attention from the public.

He was, after all, always your favorite hero.

And being put up on such a podium, why would you not tell him first? He deeply cared for his students and you knew deep inside that he would never hate you for be LGBTQ.

It was lunch break. You ate half your rice and one huge gulp, and gave the rest to Mina.

Your steps were loud as you ran down the hall to the tecaher lounge.

“HELLO!” You yelled, sliding and grasping at the door for life.

“Um, hello L/n? What do you need?” Aizawa lazily said after a few silent seconds of teachers staring at you.

“Hi I need to talk to you in private for a second!” You were filled with energy, having had thought about this for weeks.

“Alright.” He said, sighing as he moved away from his shared table table with Midnight and Mic.

“What is it, L/n?” He said once you were both out of sight of anyone walking by. His hair looked more silky and almost greasier then normal, he clearly forgot to wash it.

You took in a deep breath, breathing out. Your hands in fists raised up, for whatever reason.

“I haven’t told anyone this and I felt I could trust you with it. So, I’m y/s.”

He honestly didn’t look that surprised at the fact you were y/s. He was more proud that you decided to trust him, of all teachers, to tell

“That’s… thank you for telling me, L/n.” He said and had a smile of warmth.

“I’m glad you decided to tell me. I support you fully.” He nodded.

You smiled and your eyebrows were furrowed, a sympathetic and grateful expression.

“Thanks.”

He patted your back as he walked back to the teachers loung. “Have a good lunch, valid child.”

You laughed at the new, silly nick name and how it was similar to him calling Deku “problem child”

Hawks

You had known Hawks since you were a kid.

Your dad worked at the agency, and bought you to work often after school since your mom left and he worked late so often.

He would have anyone at the agency that he trusted babysit you, so you were known across the agency as “the favorite”

Everyone loved you, including our good old feathery fried chicken. He was one of your favorite babysitters, cause he would bring you on patrol and fly around holding you, and if he had any money on him he would buy you food

So, your little kid mind made up that this man was the human equivalent of god

so would I

Now your 14, and still adore Hawks, visiting the agency and all your friends whenever you had the time, often training with the hero’s

And you started questioning a while ago. You didn’t think anyone suspected anything, and decided that it was time you tell someone.

So, Hawks. He treated you the same he treated full grown adults, so he would treat you seriously with this. And you knew that even if he didn’t like that you were y/s, that he would still love you in his older brother/ cool uncle way

You rush off the bullet train with your usual smile, running as fast as you could after an intense training session before getting out of school for the day.

Of course it took a little longer than normal, since you just moved into the the dorms, Iida was suspicious about letting you leave campus.

You gently pushed through the crowd, muttering about a thousand “Excuse me!”’s on your way in.

You walked in, taking in the familar sent of crappy deodorant and sented candles.

You quickly press the up button and to the top floor, which was the place Hawks always was at this exact time.

You got up there just in time, he had just arrived.

“Hey Kid!” He grinned.

“Hey Keigo!!” You excitedly shout from the otehr side of the roof. “How’s work doin’?” You said, running to the other side.

“Eh, crappy and long as normal. How was school? Are Deku and the angry kid still at it?” He raised an eyebrow

“Yeah, did you think they’d ever stop? Mic put them to together for training and they had this whole angsty monologue with each other, it was hilarious.” You smiled and sat the on the railing that Hawks was perched on

“Haha!” He laughed. “Those two are gonna be interesting heros! Imagine the drama our good old corrupt government will make of them!”

You two continued to chat for a while, until Hawks told you he only had a few more minutes till his turn on patrol.

You nodded, taking in that you have to say it now.

“Hey Keigo?”

“Yeah, Y/n?”

“I think I’m y/s. Actually, I know I am.”

He didn’t seem surprised. If anything, he looked excited.

“I knew it!” He grinned. “Great job, kid! I’m proud of you, that musta’ taken a lotta courage!” He said, hand i your shoulder.

“Your fine with it?” You sheepishly said.

“Well duh! I love ya kid, why would I not be okay with it?” He leaned on your shoulder.

“And what do you mean by “I knew it?”

“Oh don’t pretend you don’t take side glance’s at them~” He winked. You two laughed.

You smiled. “Thanks, Keigo.”

Fat Gum

You and Fat Gum hadn’t known each other to long. You were there for your inturship, with Tamaki and Kirishima.

Even so, you two trusted each other. He was accepting and a caring guy, who would do anything for you interns.

So, you made a plan to tell him your y/s.

He smiled as you walked into the room you four always meet at, you saw that the other three were already waiting for you.

“Hey guys!” You waved. A small “Hi” came from Tamaki and Kirishima did his normal, aka running up and fist bumping you with a loud “Hey Y/n!”

You all were on patrol pretty much all day, so it would be difficult to pull Fat Gum away for a minute.

As you all walked along the streets, looking out for the smallest sign of villains, you asked Fat Gum if you two could talk for a minute.

“Sure L/n! You two stay here for a little, me and L/n are gonna talk for a second!” He calls toward Kirishima and Tamaki.

You two go inbetween two buildings.

“So, what’s up L/n?” He smiled down at you.

You rubbed the back of your neck.

“Well, it’s not really a hero thing. Is that okay?”

“Yeah! You can talk to me about anything.”

You nodded. “Okay… I think I’m y/s.”

He looked down at you with surprised.

He then got out of his fat state, back to the size of a normal human and hugged you.

“That’s great! I’m glad you told me!”

Notes: this is probably repetitive and bad but like ✨imaginary validation is nice✨

[igotyouniverse]

Breathe Me - Chapter 2 [nct vamp au]

Description: After dropping out of college and coming home for the first time in two years, 22-year-old Ava Lee gets caught up in a mystery surrounding the people she thought she knew for so long. Between friendship, affairs and true love the young women finds herself being pulled into a  nightmare she would never wake up from.

Pairing: Oc x Taeyong , Oc x Johnny [side: markxoc, tenxoc, lucasxoc, jaehyunxoc]

Included Members: Taeyong, Johnny, Mark, Lucas, Ten, Jaehyun, Doyoung, Haechan (maybe more)

Genre: Drama, Romance, Angst, Fantasy

Warnings: some swearing I guess and some umm angst (this chapter)

suggestive content, strong language, violence, blood, death. probably more, not sure yet (later chapters)

a/n: yeah who doesn't like awkward encounters in cafés and bookstores? Plus an awkward party with a big surprise? Sign me up. Anyway, that's the second chapter for this baby. I got carried away a lot, so it turned out a lot longer than expected but I honestly didn't want to split it up. A lot is happening! I'm honestly so excited for the third one as the main plot will start there and let me tell you – it will go WILD, haha. Enjoy ♥

ch. 1 || ch. 3

･.｡*†*｡.･◆･.｡*†*｡.･◆･.｡*†*｡.･◆･.｡*†*｡.･

“Oh, hey Ava. Haven't seen you in forever. How are you? That's exactly what he said.”, Ava told her best friend while savouring her freshly baked croissant.

Yunmi sighed and took another sip form her third coffee. “I mean you actually didn't see him in nearly three years.”

Ava shot her friend a glance and snorted. “Yeah, well, that's not my bad. He decided to completely ignore me for no reason at all.”

“Yeah, because he's a jerk. That's a fact.”, Yunmi said with a smile, trying to comfort her friend.

“Totally.”

“A handsome jerk, tho.”, Ava added and drank a sip of her water, trying to avoid her friend's gaze.

“Yup, we all got eyes. But I still don't get it. I mean you two didn't even hook up, did you?”, she felt Yunmi's eyes staring holes in her body.

“No, I've told you a hundred times. We just kissed. I think I'd remember if I hooked up with fucking Johnny Suh.”, Ava sighed with frustration in her voice. Of course she thought Johnny was attractive. Well, not only attractive. It was like she was just drawn to his simple presence. Not to mention, that he was funny, smart, caring and overall just a good person. Or that's what she thought before he decided to just erase her out of his life.

She just couldn't get a hang of it. The memories she had of that night were just magnificient. The farewell party was fun and chill. Everyone enjoyed themselves while dancing or just having drinks. She wasn't even that buzzed, especially not in the moment she remembered so clearly it even felt a little surreal sometimes. But she could remember so clearly how she talked to Johnny for hours about everything. It wasn't the typical smalltalk they usually had – she told him about her worries for university, her feelings about this god forsaken town and even managed to tell him that he crushed on him for years, not having the balls to ask him out. Him being the best friend of her brother didn't make the whole situation easier, though.

And then, just like in all these movies she binge-watched with Yunmi he actually kissed her. And not like a friend, no, she remembered his lips on hers so clearly. The softness of them and how perfectly fit on hers like they were just meant to be. Yet, it felt like a dream sometimes. She felt how much passion the kiss had, it was breathtaking, like a sweet drug she couldn't get enough from and yes, she absolutely would've slept with him but she knew that he was a gentleman. They just chuckled at each other before he brought her home, promising to call the next day before her flight would take off.

But that never happened.

“Maybe you should try talking to him? Like face-to-face. You won't be able to avoid him forever, especially because of Mark.”, Yunmi said and tried to read her friends emotions but Ava just chuckled.

“Watch me.”

The café Yunmi picked out was next to the bookstore Mark worked at. Ava remembered how the spot was always closed and under construction but apparently it opened a few months ago. The style was simple and comfy. It was a light store with paintings on the walls and different types of plants everywhere. Huge windows allowed a view over the main street and the small park right in the middle. It seemed oddly familiar to Ava, even though she never set a foot in this building. But something just felt like she's been there before but she couldn't figure it out.

“I need more coffee.”, Yunmi said and pouted looking at her empty cup.

“Dude, that was your third coffee.” Ava laughed and looked at her friend, with just a tint of worry in her eyes.

“Happens when you work as a nurse. Night shifts are just so tiring here. Nothing happens anyway but I wasn't able to take a nap because I had to do all these papers.”, she said annoyed and pouted at Ava, holding up her empty cup.

The girl sighed and smiled, standing up to get her friend her needed refill.

Ava went up to the empty counter and looked for the young waiter she saw earlier but to her surprise another young man came out, looking at her with warm eyes.

“Can I get a refill please?”, she asked politely and handed the guy the cup after he nodded. His eyes focused on her for just a second, but for her it felt longer. Did she know him? His hair was dyed in a ashy-blonde color, hair framing his delicate facial features. His eyes looked warm yet they had something deep and maybe even dark about them. The way he moved looked elegant. She eyed him just for a second longer, trying hardly to think why he looked so familiar. She even felt like she somewhat heard his voice before. She squinted her eyes trying to take a look at his name tag but apparently he didn't even wear one.

“Here. Do you need something else?”, he asked.

Ava froze for a split second, realized how impolite it was to stare at a person as bluntly as she did.

“No, thank you. I really like the place, though. It's pretty.”, she smiled lightly and took the cup.

The guy thanked her, his face lightened up, a smile appearing on his face, which made her feel warm all of a sudden. Why did his smile see so familiar?

She hurried back to the table her friend was sitting, giving her her desperately needed caffeine.

“Who's the guy at the counter?”, Ava asked.

Yunmi immediately turned around to take a look at who her friend meant.

“Taeyong. He owns this place.”

After Ava stayed silent, not quite sure if she knew him or not, Yunmi added,

“He lives together with Johnny and Jaehyun in that house. We met him there once, don't you remember?”, Yunmi asked and raised a brow.

“I don't know. I guess? You know how bad my memory is.”, Ava chuckled and stared at her glass of water before giving her friend a smile.

Honestly, she wasn't sure if she remembered. Maybe she did meet him back then. Maybe not.

“He's cute, isn't he? He even makes the pastries himself.”, Yunmi said and took a bit of her sandwich after inhaling her coffee.

“Yeah, he is nice, I guess.”, Ava said, looking over at the counter where Taeyong stood. She saw how his eyes met hers, holding the eye-contact for just a bit before he turned around and went to the back.

Weird.

“There will be a party tonight at their house.” Yunmi said, eyeing her friend once more. After Ava didn't answer right away Yunmi sighed.

“We should go. It will be fun.” she added.

“Since when do you want to go parties?”, Ava asked her friend, raising her brow. As long as she remembered Yunmi and her weren't the type of girls who went to parties. They usually preferred a good movie night with food over drinks and bad music. Even in college, Ava didn't attend many of those famous college parties she heard about.

“Their parties are usually really nice.”, she smiled softly and started to play with a strand of her brown hair.

“Mh-mh. Their parties or just someone at their parties?”, Ava teased her friend, poking her cheek.

Yunmi pouted a light shade of red on her cheeks. She caught her.

“Well, you won't know if you don't join.”, Yunmi poked out her tongue at Ava, laughing softly at her.

“Fine. But if I see Johnny I'll leave.”, Ava said firmly and looked at her hands for a second. She really didn't want to attend another party where he was after the last time, even if it was years ago.

“He lives there, genius. Of course he will be there. But it will be fun, I promise. Maybe you could even use the chance to talk to-”

A glance of Ava cut her friends words off, holding her hands up in defeat.

“Fine. Or ignore him. Just come with me. I'll introduce you to some cool people, okay?”

The girl groaned until she gave in.

“Okay. I will be there. Mark probably wants to go too, anyway.”, Ava said and rummaged in her bag, trying to find her phone.

“Probably.”, Yunmi answered, seemingly uninterested if the boy would join them or not.

“Mh, can't find my phone.”, Ava muttered, unable to find anything in her bag anyway.

“Well, the bookstore is right next-door, I'll just ask him there. I think he's working.”, she looked to her best friend who seemed to have spaced out for a second.

“You join me?”, she asked, touching Yunmis hand for a second. Her best friend shook her head, smiling at her.

“No no, I need to take a nap and a shower before the party. Just, um, say hello from me, will you?”, Yunmi stood up, taking her jacket over her arm, helping to put the empty plates and cups on the empty counter.

“Yeah, sure. See you then.”, Ava said putting the rest of the plates on the counter, a bit surprised about the sudden haste her friend was in.

She sighed taking a look around the café once more before leaving it for the day. Ava tried her best to not overthink the whole situation and slowly walked to the next door on the street, leading into the small bookstore her younger brother worked at.

She strolled through the filled shelves, inhaling the magnificent scent of all the bound books walking up to her most favourite isle – old classics. Her fingers trailed over the spines, feeling their different textures. She used to read a lot, every week a new book in her hand, ready to savour it in just one sitting. Back then, it felt easy to just sit down, a book in her hands and shutting the world out completely, focusing only on the words forming these beautiful pictures inside her head, making all these thoughts haunting her in real life go away just like that. When did she lose this talent? Nowadays, she just couldn't get herself to actually read a book. She continues to buy them, placing them prominently on her nightstand, in hopes for her to just grab it in the evening but the pile of books just grew bigger and bigger over the weeks until she finally stopped to even buy them. She hoped to get back into her once most loved hobby. Even if it was just for a few minutes.

“Hey, didn't expect you to visit me.”, she heard Mark saying and turned around, a big smile on her lips.

“I wanted to surprise you, I've actually met with Yunmi. We had breakfast in the café next door.”, Ava answered and looked at her brother. She chuckled mildly. He looked so grown-up and mature in his plain black shirt with his round glasses on, his dark hair falling into his face. She realized how different he looked from the last time she saw him. Unbelievable that he was already 20 years old.

“Oh-Uh, yeah it opened up a few weeks ago. The owner is Jaehyun and Johnny's roommate.”, Mark said after he scratched the nape of his neck. “H-How's Yunmi? She alright?”, he asked casually while sorting a book from his hand into the shelv.

“Yeah, I guess. She said hello but had to rush home.”, Ava answered, shrugging her shoulders.

She eyed her brother and how he fumbled with the hem of his shirt, he seemed to want to say something but decided not to.

“Anyway.”, he exhaled loudly and cleared his throat before smiling at Ava. “I'm happy you're visiting. Want me to show you around? I mean you technically know it, though.”, her brother chuckled.

But as the good sister she is she nodded and let her brother show her all the different types of book they had and which authors occasionally came to give a reading. Seeing his eyes lighten up just by the name of  these authors made her heart melt. He explained passionately the several differences in their writing techniques and why they were his favourites. He told her how he fell in love with classic literature, especially romance and tragedy.

Ava listened to him swooning over different works and their means to past society, yet he even read modern novels. She looked at all the books, most of them she already read by herself when she was younger. She felt proud seeing him glowing up, doing what he loved without hiding.

“I just hope I'll be half as good as them.”, she heard her brother sighing when he put down the last book.

Ava put a hand on his slim shoulder and smiled at him warmly.

“I’m sure you will be. Trust me, I will be your biggest fan!”, she laughed and ruffled his hair, making him scrunch his nose before trying to fix his hair.

“Please. I appreciate the encouragement but it's still a long way. Plus mom and dad are still not very fond of the idea of me becoming an author. They think it's still a phase and that I will soon realize it's stupid and become a doctor like – well.”, he shrugged his shoulders before speaking out his thoughts.

Ava bit her lip. “I will tell them.”, she said, not believing her answer.

“When will you, though? I mean, I'm not pressuring you. I get it, it's hard but don't you think it will be even harder the longer it lasts? They're not stupid.”, Mark said looking at his sister, his eyes were filled with worry.

“I know. I'm just – imagine their disappointment. I need a plan, you know?”, she muttered, trying to avoid his gaze. She felt guilty for lying but she would feel even worse seeing the disappointment in her parents eyes when they realize she wasn't that perfect daughter they saw her as.

“Promise me you'll figure something out, okay? It's not healthy.”, he said, looking up when he heard the door open.

“Yes, I promise. Just give me some more time, will you?”, she pleaded at him, pouting as best as she possibly could.

“Sure.”, he rolled his eyes, sighing deeply before he put on a smile and waved at the new customer.

Ava turned around and saw two young men walking in.

“Hey guys, what are you doing here?”, Mark said and smiled, walking up to his friends.

Ava just sighed, silently asking the universe why it made life for her that hard.

“Hi.”, she just briefly said, trying not to look directly into Johnny's eyes. She even managed to ignore him and just gave Jaehyun a smile which he joined.

“Long time no see. You look good.”, Jaehyun said and brushed his hand briefly at her arm.

Ava chuckled, putting a strand of hair behind her ear.  “Thanks.”

She felt Johnny looking at her standing next to Jaehyun, eyeing both of them. Just like she wanted him to do.

“We're actually looking for books for the café. Taeyong wants to have some more for visitors to read.”, Johnny said after clearing his throat. Ava's eyes wandered to Johnny's just for a quick second but she already found herself being mesmerized by his presence once again. She liked the way he wore his black hair, the strands falling into his face just perfectly. Her gaze locked at his lips while he spoke with Mark about the books Taeyong wanted and even though the name still rang a bell in the back of her head she couldn't free herself from the way Johnny's lips moved. She knew how soft they felt, recognizing the feeling just too well.

Her thoughts moved back to that night like they always did and the urge to confront him about why he decided to let her hang like that grew stronger. She knew that it would probably was just a kiss for most people but for her it felt so differently. It was romantic and intimate, just how she imagined kissing him over and over again when she was younger. Plus, him declaring his feelings for her made that memory even more perfect. Yet, it all shattered when he ignored her.

She felt a hand on her back and then a breath at her ear, before Jaeyhun whispered

“You good?”

She felt the grin on his face when she rolled her eyes and nodded.

For a split second she saw how Johnny turned his head towards her, looking away just another second later, continuing to talk to Mark.

“Will you be at our place tonight?”, Jaehyun asked, not moving his hand from her back.

“I guess so. Yunmi asked me, too.”, Ava smiled at Jaehyun, wordlessly thanking him.

“Well, you can't say no now. I'd be happy if you came.”, he smiled at her paired with a short wink before laughing with her.

She heard Johnny clearing his throat and looked up to him.

“Anyway, we should head back to the café or Taeyong will be mad at us for leaving him alone for too long.”, he said while taking books off Mark's arms he seemed to have collected for them.

“Sure.”, Jaehyun said and smiled at the others, before looking down at Ava again. “See you tonight then, can't wait.”, he said, stroking her back slightly before leaving behind Johnny.

Ava felt her brother's piercing gaze on her back while she tried to look away, shrugging her shoulders.

“Stop staring at me like that.”, she hissed at Mark and rolled her eyes. She finally looked at him but he just shook his head, wanting to say something but all he did was open his mouth for a second before closing it again, raising both of his hands.

“None of my business.”

･.｡*†*｡.･◆･.｡*†*｡.･◆･.｡*†*｡.･◆･.｡*†*｡.･

Ava's head felt already heavy without any alcohol in it. She stared at the dark street in front of her, trying to concentrate on driving the car her parents gladly allowed them to use to drive to the party. Of course, she didn't even want to drink. She didn't even want to attend the party at all but she had to admit that she was curious – curious about how the people had changed, curious about how they'd behave and obviously curious about certain of these people whose names she didn't want to think about again.

Even when the last time she visited the house was three years ago she remembered the way so clearly as if she'd just was there yesterday. She took a glance at Mark who was sitting next to hear, looking out of his window, seemingly way up in his own thoughts she wished to read.

Ava sighed quietly, focusing her eyes on the street. She felt anxious about meeting all these people. No one knew about her not so graceful career, still thinking she studied medicine on some ivy league college back in the city everyone dreamed of living.  The thought of them asking all these questions she already had to answer her parents made her shiver. Maybe she should just hide in a closet until Mark wanted to go back home. Would be smarter than awkwardly running into someone again – once a day is enough.

Yet she took hours to get ready, carefully picking out an outfit, lipstick and the way she wore her hair,  trying to look casual but not too casual. The chance of running into him was just too high for her to not try to make herself look presentable.

The street got more narrow, leading into the woods where the house was.

“I still don't get why they're living in the woods.”, she sighed and looked at Mark for a second before driving on the long gateway leading to the house.

“Taeyong inherited it from his grandma or something.”, Mark answered, waking up from his thoughts.

Ava just nodded, already seeing some more cars and people standing outside. She couldn't see enough to look at their faces. The girl quickly parked the vehicle and stretched her arms once she got out, looking around. The late summer air was still warm and comfortable yet one could sense the upcoming autumn as some leaves slowly turned darker.

The siblings walked down the path leading to the entrance, which led to a huge front yard. It was lighted with small paper lamps, showing off some of the landscaping done. She even heard a fountain splashing somewhere. She looked around, not quite sure if she'd remember the place at all. The house was surrounded by a traditional stone fence and she wondered how old it was. Ava could already hear the people enjoying themselves, with loud music pounding in her ear.

From what she saw through the darkness and the sparse light the house itself looked huge enough to  probably fit a hundred people. The door was left open, shoes flooding the entrance area.

After bumping into dozens of people greeting her, smiling and waving she helplessly looked at Mark who was still right behind her looking for someone.

“You made it!”, Ava heard Yunmi screaming in her hear, an arm around her waist, pressing a kiss on her cheek. Ava could smell a note of alcohol in her friend's breath and chuckled.

“How much did you already drink?”, she asked but Yunmi waved her off, her gaze meeting Mark.

“Oh hi Mark. Nice to see you, how are you?”, she asked politely while resting her head on Ava's shoulder.

“Uhm, I'm good thanks. And you?”, he scratched is neck, looking away, probably trying to find his own friends.

“Life's great.”, she answered and laughed, removing her head from her friend's shoulder to take a sip from her cup, shaking it in front of Ava's face.

“Want something? I can totally mix you a drink.”

“No, thanks. I don't drink.”, she answered and smiled apologetic.

“I'm gonna look for Johnny. Hit me up when you want to go home, alright?”, Mark said and disappeared in the moving crowd of people.

“I take it you don't want to look for Johnny?”, Yunmi asked her friend, directly looking at her, rolling her eyes when Ava shook her head.

“Nope. So, who are these cool people you wanted me to get to know?”, Ava smiled.

Yunmi entangled her fingers with hers and dragged her through the crowd, brabbling something about a girl and a boy.

Not long after Ava spotted to semi-familiar people her friend shouted at. A girl with a black long bob smiled warmly and waved.

The boy, a bit shorter than her, with short black hair smiled and greeted her. “Ava, you must remember Ten and Sunhyung, right? We went to Highschool together.”, Yunmi introduced them but Ava wasn't exactly sure who they were. She barely remembered anyone from Highscool, though. At least not their names.

“We were in another class, though.”, Sunhyung chuckled.

“Nice to meet you. So what are you guys doing?”, Ava asked them.

“Well, we're actually officers right now. Ten is my partner.”, Sunhyung explained and smiled at Ten, who just nodded and raised his cup.

“Not on duty tonight, though.”, he winked and exed the rest of the liquid.

“Yunmi told me you're studying medicine? Pretty cool. How's life in the States? This town must bore you to death.”, Sunhyung chuckled and looked at her cup, seemingly disappointed that it was empty.

“I'm actually enjoying it. It's like a vacation.”, Ava answered and hoped no one would ask her to further elaborate on her studies, which weren't even real.

“I'd give everything to travel to a real city. The only “crimescenes” we're looking at are rather boring. It's mostly just noise disturbance or someone's speeding who isn't from here.”, Sunhyung rolled her eyes.

“Hey, last week we had one burglary!”, Ten protested.

“You mean the sixteen-year-old boy who stole some Vodka from the store? How exciting.”, his partner answered sarcastically and laughed.

“I need a refill, you want something?”, Yunmi asked in the group as she apparently spotted something at the bar which needed her attention.

Ten and Sunhyung both nooded eagerly. She didn't bother to look at Yunmi, knowing she'd say no anyway.

Ava's eyes followed her friend to the bar, by which a tall young men stood. She saw how Yunmi straightened her back and smiled at the guy, who she probably knew. Ava noticed how her friend pushed her long hair back and saw how her mouth formed into a laugh after the boy said something. Ava tilted her head, trying to figure out if the knew him or not. She would probably remember a guy like him. He was handsome, yet his face had something sheepish when he talked to Yunmi.

“That's Lucas.”, she heard Sunhyung say and snapped out of her thoughts, “He moved her two years ago. Always hangs out with Johnny and the rest.”, she added and Ava raised her brows. She was pretty sure she never saw or even heard of him before.

“I swear Yunmi has the biggest crush on him. Always swooning over his hands or something.”, Ava heard Sunhyung continue and asked herself why exactly her best friend didn't tell her anything about that guy.

“Well, quite obvious that they're flirting.”, Ten added and nodded.

“Yeah, I'm betting they end hooking up tonight.”, said Sunyhung.

“Never. Both won't make the first moves. They're flirting for months and nothing interesting happened.”, her partner replied.

“Got it in my guts. Tonight is the night.”, Sunhyung nodded with a stern voice.

“Pff, wanna bet? 50 they won't hook up.”, Ten chuckled.

“Make it 100.”, Sunhyung answered, looking at her partner while shaking his hand.

Ava's gaze meanwhile scanned the room for someone else. As if someone read her thoughts, Johnny came down the stairs with Mark right behind him.

Johnny's eyes met Ava's for a moment and she clenched her jaw. She noticed how he was moving towards her and how her heart began to beat faster in her chest.

“I'm gonna get some water or something. Be right back.”, she mumbled and quickly disappeared in the crowd, trying to keep herself as small as possible. Her eyes searched for a kitchen, which she finally found. Gladly, there weren't any people in it. Probably because the whole alcohol was at the bar and no one here wanted to drink something else.

She sighed and looked for a water bottle but all she saw were some empty cups.

“What are you looking for?”, she suddenly heard a way too familiar voice and turned around just to see Johnny standing in the door frame, a small smile on his lips.

“Just some water.”, she answered quietly, trying her best to look away from his dammed face. She saw how he moved next to her and opened a door next to her which apparently belonged to the fridge. Just a second later he handed her a bottle of cool water. Ava looked up and mumbled a quick thank you but it was enough to catch him smiling again, which made her heartbeat increase.

“I'm glad you came.”, Johnny said and leaned with his back against the door, looking down at her.

“Yunmi practically forced me to. It's nice, though.”, she answered, fumbling with the bottle in her hands, not sure what else to do with them.

Silence flooded the room and all the questions burned on her tongue. Taking a deep breath, she managed to look up at him, meeting his gaze. She locked her eyes with his for much longer as initially wanted and already felt how she got lost in his gaze just like everytime he looked at her.

He was handsome. His black hair messily falling into his face, his beautifully shaped lips curling upwards to form a small smile. Johnny's dark eyes seemed to look right through her.

“Can I ask you something?”, Ava finally found her voice and gulped, without breaking of the gaze.

“Anything.”, he answered, his voice unusual quiet.

“I need to know why you ignored me after that night.”

“What exactly do you mean?”, his brows furrowed.

“My last night here. You kissed me. You told me you'd call me the next day but you never did. And when I tried to reach out you simply ignored all my messages.” she sighed loudly, breaking their connection for a second, to gather her thoughts, “Seriously I felt so stupid. I still do.”

“Ava, listen, it's not what you think.”, she heard him answer and looked at his eyes once more.

“Then tell me, Johnny. Seriously. It's driving me insane.”, she pleaded, letting her arms drop in frustration.

Silence came up once more. The girl's frustration grew with any second passing by, not sure what she could say to finally get him to answer properly.

“I really thought about every single reason why you did that.”, she sighed, pain growing inside of her body, “And the only possible reason left is what you never liked me at all.”, she said, her voice just a small whisper, anxious about his answer.

“It's not that I don't like you. It's quite the opposite.”, Johnny said as she looked up at him again.

“I can't believe you.”, she sighed and furrowed her brows, thinking about his reasons why when he liked her.

“Listen, I'm sorry if I had hurt you but it's not that simple.”, he tried to explain but Ava just snorted and chuckled bitterly.

“Seriously just tell me directly into my face that I imagined all of that and that you're not interested. I'm not a kid and you're owing me that.” she answered, pressing her lips together.

“I can't tell you that because it would be a lie.”, now it was Johnny who sighed.

“It's the only possible explanation. Don't you want to tell me that you're not interested because you don't want to hurt me? Honestly, it would've hurt less if you'd just told me instead of ghosting me for years!”, her voice got louder such as her thoughts, which were going crazy inside of her head.

“That's not it.”, now frustration filled his voice as well. Ava looked into his face, seeing how he pushed his hair back, seemingly unsure about what to say.

“God, this is so stupid. I'm just gonna go.”, she dropped her arms in defeat, tired and annoyed. She didn't want to maintain this nonsense conversation when she wouldn't get a proper answer anyway.

Just when she wanted to move out of the door she felt Johnny's hand on her shoulder.

“Just – don't go, please.”, she heard him say and rolled her eyes.

“Then tell me why.”, as soon as she turned around she felt how Johnny laid his arms around her figure, pressing her against his chest softly.

“I'm sorry. I honestly am, please believe me.”, she felt how he buried his head in heir hair and wrapped her arms around his torso, her heart hammering loudly in her chest.

“I want to.”, she mumbled in the material of his black shirt and tightened her grip around him.

It felt unbelievably good to hug him, yet she still didn't get an answer from him, making her anxiety rise inside her body. She still didn't know why and the sudden touch confused her even more.

Ava started to wiggle when she realized her thoughts wouldn't shut up. Reluctantly, she looked up at him, loosening the hug a bit, yet not ready to let him go completely.

“This is confusing. I just want to know what's going on, please.” she pleaded once more, locking her eyes with his, just staring into them, trying to find answers.

She felt how Johnny moved one of his hands up her back, reaching her head, carefully putting one of her strands of hair behind her hear, his hand lingering on her cheek.

Her breath quickened when her eyes wandered over his face, absorbing every inch of it, until she stopped at his just perfectly shaped lips. She licked over hers, memories of how his tasted on hers flooded her mind. Her gaze went up again, meeting his once again that night.

The girl was once again hypnotised by his gaze, unable to look away this time.

Without further thinking about it, she put her hands on his neck and pulled him closer to her, to finally press her lips on his. His lips were just as soft as she memorized them, fitting on hers just as she remembered. The kiss was careful, still anxious about his reaction but when he actually pressed her closer to him, deepening the kiss her mind went completely blank.

Her eyes fell shut, her fingers slightly tightening on the back of his neck, trying to keep him even closer. Their lips moved in perfect sync, just as they belonged on each other. The girl cherished every second of it, how his hands cupped her face while one thumbs caressed her cheek, touching her so softly, as if she could break any second. The taste of his lips were sweet, she couldn't even taste a bit of alcohol, which ensure her that this was what he wanted.

As soft as the kiss was, she knew she wanted more. She needed more. After all these months of anxiety, pain and worry she finally kissed him again. Ava opened her mouth for him, allowing his tongue to play with hers, just like she always wanted to be kissed by him. Her fingers buried in his thick her, while his hands trailed down her body to rest on her hips.

Just before she could press her body closer Johnny pushed himself away, as if he'd burn himself.

Completely puzzled, the girl stared at him, not understanding what was going on.

“I can't. I'm sorry.”, she heard him say, his voice sounding strained, as he quickly ran out of the kitchen, leaving Ava alone once again.

She stared at her hands, her heart still beating fast, trying to catch her own breath. The girl felt how tears formed in the corners of her eyes and how her chest, which felt so light and carefree the other second, now felt like some heavy stone was laying on it, stealing her breath away. She had the sudden urge of fresh air and stumbled out of the kitchen, trying to leave everyone in that house behind her while not being seen. She couldn't manage to explain her situation to anyone. She wanted to be alone.

Ava breathed in the cold air and closed her eyes for a second, trying to get as much distance as possible between her and that house. She took a look at her smartphone to check the time but it wasn't even midnight yet, and she didn't want to be a killjoy and spoil Mark's fun. She made her way out of the garden and looked at the woods behind the property and stopped for a second. She heard how the wind whistled through the branches and how the leftover leaves trailed through the air. Her heart was still pounding in her chest, the latest event flooding her mind. This didn't make any sense to her. Why did he kiss her again? It wasn't just a casual kiss, she could feel that. And this time it wasn't her freaking imagination. The way he hold her and returned her kiss, the way he pressed her against his body – that wasn't imagination.

She actually believed him. She trusted his words yet he was acting like something completely different was on his mind and she just couldn't figure it out. Her thoughts went crazy and she felt how her throat got sore. Why did he stop when it felt so good? Any why did he leave her like that, not explaining his behaviour once again.

Ava kept going towards the trees, sometimes looking up at the sky which wasn't as clear as she thought. Thick black clouds were blocking the moon and stars and she sighed, yet it felt nice to move and properly breathe since the air in the house was muggy and way too hot. Or maybe it just felt like that to her. Her body felt exhausted, yet still full of adrenaline. What did she do wrong? Once again, she went through all the possibilities and couldn't get the hand of it. She didn't want to get hurt again by him, yet there she was. Feeling exactly the same as two years ago. It felt like some kind of absurd Deja Vu.

She flinched when she heard a loud crackle next to her and squinted her eyes, when she couldn't see anything. For a second, she thought someone was here, probably some drunk people enjoying themselves in the woods. She rolled her eyes and continue to stroll when she heard a noise again, but this time it sounded more like a hiss. Ava turned around, trying to see anything but it was too dark. Maybe some brainless jock saw her and tried to scare her.

Another crunching noise, this time right behind her, made her flinch once more, the hairs on her neck standing up. She felt her muscles tighten, when she turned around yet still no one was there. The girl looked a round several times, until she decided to head back to the house which she only saw in some distance thanks to the lights outside. Maybe she could just wait inside the car until Mark wanted to leave the party.

For a few seconds, it was silent again when she heard another noise, this time way closer to her, besides her.

Ava started to run, fear suddenly filling her body as her breath and heartbeat quickened, a feeling of danger flowing her body. The noises got louder, someone was definitely following her. She heard fast footsteps approaching her, whispers and hisses starting to echo inside her head, making her want to scream. She shook her head, trying to leave the voices behind but it was like they were just stuck, burying every other sound under it.

The blood pulsated in her head, breathing loudly. Sweat running down her forehead while her feet tried to run as fast as she could, yet she didn't seem to come any closer to the house.

A dark laugh suddenly appeared as she saw a black figure suddenly standing in front her, which made her stop in her steps, almost falling over.

She couldn't see a face, nor anything else which could possibly explain who it was. The figure took a stop closer to her, making her move backwards until her back met with once of the trees, the tree bark scratching her back uncomfortably.

The girl blinked once and the figure was gone, her blood still pulsating in her veins. She gulped, looking around before continuing to run in the direction she thought was the right one, while still turning her head every other second.

Suddenly she felt a breath on her neck, paired with a deep chuckle, making her stop in her tracks once more. She wanted to ask something, scream, anything but it felt like she suddenly had a lump in her throat. The voices inside her head growing louder and louder with each second passing by.

As soon as she wanted to start running again, a hand grabbed her wrist, forcing her to stand still. The grip was harsh and strong, not moving an inch even when she tried her best to wiggle her wrist free. She grunted and tried to take a look at the person behind her but she couldn't move at all.

“Oh no, you can't look at me. Not now, dear child.”, a voice said. It was more of a whisper than a real voice. The sound seemed hypnotic.

“There, there, hold still. Don't scream now.”, he said as she tried to wiggle herself free until her body stiffened. Suddenly, it was like all the noises she heard a second ago were gone. She didn't hear the whistles of the wind, the arches or their leaves. Nothing. It felt like the was in a vacuum, only the voice echoing in her head, telling her to hold still.

“You see, it's nothing personal.”, he continued and chuckled, sending shivers through her body.

“It's just, you got to understand that you're part of something bigger.”, she felt a hot breath on her neck again, making her want to scream but it felt like she lost her voice.

He heard him click his tongue, followed by a cold finger stroking over her neck.

“Such a  pity. So beautiful. I see what he's found in you, honestly. But, you know, sacrifices must be made. And such a pretty one.”, the voice continued.

Tears started to form in her eyes, rolling down her cheek, burning her skin. She didn't know what was going to happen but she felt afraid. More than that – she feared for her life. Something in his presence made her body fill with this primal fear.

“Oh, so pretty while crying, what a sight.”, a finger wiped one of her tears, chuckling mildly.

“You know, I like it when they scream. And now you need to scream, so he can hear you, you know?”, like a snap, Ava seemed to found her voice and screamed in a high-pitched voice.

Suddenly he let her go, making her stumble over her feet, her knees meeting the cold earth. She coughed while pulling herself up, commanding her body to start running again. When her feet started to move and her thoughts came back, the voices also did. They laughed at her in different tones, from every direction. It felt like a circle was around her, closing closer around her, laughing louder with every step she took.

Another desperate scream fell of her lips as she pressed her hands against her ears, trying to make the voices go but they got even louder, so loud she felt like becoming deaf. She couldn't even hear her own breath anymore, while tears ran down her face.

“It's so much fun to play, don't you think?”, she heard his voice echoing inside her head again, the screams suddenly disappearing.

“You know why? Because I always win.”, a chuckle echoed inside her head, turning into a loud laugh next to her ear.

“Maybe he'll find you, maybe he won't. I hope he does, otherwise it would spoil the fun.”, the voice added and she felt the grip on her wrist again.

“Ah, I'd really want to keep you for myself, such a shame.” he sighed, her body stiffen again, whilst she felt like choking, unable to bring out the slightest sound.

“It's nothing personal against you, my love. You just picked the wrong person to spend your time with, that's all.”

Her eyes widened in fear, her mouth suddenly hanging open without leaving a  sound when the world around her suddenly turned pitch black.

･.｡*†*｡.･◆･.｡*†*｡.･◆･.｡*†*｡.･◆･.｡*†*｡.･

masterlist

[skullsandwineglasses]

The Rebel Princess Episodes 45-51

Um, wow. A lot to process. 

Awu and Xiao Qi say their goodbyes and separate in 48. Not sure for how long this time. When they were apart for 10 episodes from 19(?) to 29, we at least knew that when they reunite, it would be a happy reunion. 

But this time? Xiao Qi is gravely injured (and poisoned) and Hu Yao disguised her brother’s corpse as Xiao Qi so that people would think that he died in battle. (Also sidenote: RIP to Awu’s embroidered cape. Xiao Qi no longer has a piece of her to carry with him). And on top of that, he’s accused of having assassinated the emperor. So it’s not like he can just casually waltz back into the capital any time soon. So I’m thinking that the next time that Awu sees him again is during the scene in the promos where he’s bearded and storms into the palace court, sword charging at Zi Tan. 

But in the meanwhile, Awu will have to face the news of his death and alleged treason. I don’t know if she’ll believe that he’s dead, but she’s going to be heartbroken either way, all the while she’s holding down the fort on the homefront, trying to protect the baby emperor from Zi Tan who’s most likely going to swoop in to try to take the crown for the most unconvincing reasons. Ugh Zi Tan. The most uninteresting and annoying second-male-lead-turned-villain. 

But since the story has now shifted back to Awu, perhaps we’ll now see her play more of an active role in the drama. I also wonder how Awu is going to extricate herself from the palace politics, especially now that she’s going to be such a central character in the palace as the unofficial guardian of the infant emperor. Her aunt the Dowager Empress is probably going to want to get rid of her because she’s going to feel threatened by Awu’s potential influence over her grandson, but also because of Awu’s relation with Xiao Qi, and the Dowager Empress will probably feel vengeful because of it. Is this how Awu ends up in Hulan with Helan Zhen? Does this happen before or after Xiao Qi returns to storm the palace? But if it happens after, how does Awu still end up in Hulan if Xiao Qi is around? So many questions about the order of these events and how it will all come together. Another question is why does Zi Tan allow it? I thought Zi Tan was obsessed with Awu too. 

The setup and false accusation that Xiao Qi killed Zilong is such a tried and true trope, but I guess it’s effective at heightening suspense, which is exactly why it’s an overused trope. And the battle scene in episodes 49/50 were tense as hell. It’s amazing that this drama gives you several well choreographed battle scenes throughout the drama. Likely a testament to the budget. Usually dramas only have one short scene at the beginning to set the tone, or one at the end as a conclusion, but this drama really emphasizes how Xiao Qi is a seasoned warrior and a man of war. We don’t get just one battle scene to establish his character. We keep seeing him in action (and each battle is unique), which makes him so believable as a skilled general. I’m in awe just thinking about all the stunts involved in the drama. And not to mention all the full-body horse riding shots that were also hella majestic. It’s a far cry from the fake upper body shots on a bench propped on a truck that idol dramas normally use. 

Also, the part of the battle where the white horse broke free from the stable at the camp in order to join the black horse on the field was touching. Since the white horse was the horse that Awu rode on the grasslands in Ning Shuo, I’m guessing this scene was to symbolize that even though Awu isn’t there and doesn’t even know about the danger that Xiao Qi’s currently in, she’s always with him in spirit and will always fight alongside with him. 

All the omens in episode 48 hinted at this turn of events though. The bad feeling that Awu got when she told Xiao Qi about the bird she saw that suddenly fell from the roof. Them talking about leaving the capital for a life in Ning Shuo and beyond, to explore the lands beyond the capital and live a free and nomadic life, to build a cottage somewhere, a home of their own for just the two of them. They’re hinting at an escape from the palace, a simple life, but it’s clear that it’s not going to happen because their enemies aren’t going to let them. Not with everyone wanting their heads. And then the hug that Awu withheld because she want to leave things open. She wants to hold on to hope, and so she creates an ellipsis. A hug would make the goodbye too official, so she instead changes her mind and tells Xiao Qi that he owes her a hug, which means he has to come back in order to pay up. Again, not a good sign. I don’t know what state they’re going to be in when they see each other again. 

Also, the two kids that we see them embrace in the promo aren’t their kids like I thought. They’re the kids of Xiao Qi’s fallen comrade, so it looks like they may not be able to have their own kids after all and end up adopting the two kids. A part of me wants Awu and Xiao Qi to have kids of their own, especially seeing how desperate Awu is. But at the same time, it’ll be refreshing to have a drama in which the main couple can’t have kids of their own and adopt. 

I do feel bad for Xie Wanru. She’s just a product of her situation. I also don’t hate the Dowager Empress as much as I feel like I should. I guess because I can see that both characters still somewhat care for Awu (or at least they show that they’re somewhat remorseful for plotting against her and hurting her), and miss the old days when their relationship with her wasn’t strained. I feel like the fact that they still acknowledge the good old times means that their humanity isn’t completely gone. 

It’s been a whirlwind. I have to admire the Dowager Empress though. So many players have come and gone (e.g., her brother, her husband, her son, the second prince, the third prince) and yet she’s lasted this long and is still here pulling the strings. Maybe she’s the main villain after all. 

[ahtohallan-calling]

chapter 24 of don’t read the last page is here!

masterpost

[kristanna / m / multichap / modern au with actress!anna and vetstudent!kristoff]

They all crowded around Anna’s shoulder, waiting with bated breath as she finished choosing a filter for the photo. “Wait,” Kristoff said suddenly, “should we check with Lena about this?”

Anna rolled her eyes. “Fuck Lena,” she said cheerfully, and pressed post.

---

It was, all things considered, not a particularly interesting day when it happened; it had been a scorcher of a late-July afternoon, and when Kristoff came home from the clinic he found Anna in the backyard lounging in a beach chair she’d finally caved and bought at Target when she could no longer get comfortable lying on a towel spread over the grass.

“Hi, honey,” she said around a mouthful of an orange push pop; the empty box had fallen over by her chair.

He laughed and leaned down to kiss her, setting his palm against the swell of her stomach. “Good thing I bought another box of those on my way home.

Anna thought nothing of it when the baby kicked in response; he’d done so for a while now at the sound of his father’s voice, but Kristoff froze, his face only an inch away from hers as his eyes widened.

Worried, she tilted her head. “Is everything alright?”

He swallowed hard. “Did you feel that?”

“Well, yeah, I’ve been feeling a lot of-- wait. Did you?”

He nodded, slowly, and as they stared at each other, stunned, another kick came, sharp enough this time that Anna yelped in surprise. “Okay, you had to have felt that one,” she groused. 

Kristoff nodded again, faster this time, as a laugh spilled from his lips. “It’s him,” he said, his eyes still wide. “I-- that’s him, Anna.”

Her eyes softened. “You know, we really ought to think of something to call him. I’m worried he’s going to get offended.”

A third kick came in response, and they both took it as a sign of agreement.

---

Sources say Westergaard has spent the past six weeks hiding out in his summer home in the Hamptons. When asked for comment, his representative told Buzzfeed, “Mr. Westergaard’s previous remarks were taken out of context and twisted by the media. He will be starting an anti cyberbullying foundation in his name. He asks that you respect his privacy during this difficult time.”

Sven looked up from the article Kristoff had printed and handed to him. “Shit, how the hell can anybody have a difficult time at a mansion in the Hamptons?”

“Show a little sympathy. The man’s just had to face the consequences of his actions for the first time in his life,” Kristoff said with a smirk. 

“Ought to hang out with a pregnant woman more often, he’d learn his lesson really quickly about the consequences of-- oh, hey, Anna,” Sven said with a grimace. “You, uh, you forgiven me yet for getting onions on the pizza?”

She scowled and crossed her arms, her eyes shooting daggers at him across the room, and he sighed and picked up his phone to order a new one.

---

“Anna?” 

She yelped in surprise and tugged the shower curtain back, coming face to face with a frowning Kristoff. “Jesus, you scared me. What’s wrong?”

“Sorry-- it’s just…” He frowned and held up his phone. “How does Twitter know I’m a vet?”

The bubbles in her hair forgotten, she leaned forward and squinted at the screen. “What? It’s just a picture of us leaving Chipotle.”

“Huh? Oh-- shit, sorry, let me scroll down to the replies.”

He pushed his glasses further up his nose as he did so before raising the phone screen again. “Look, they’re all sending me hamsters.”

She knew he was genuinely worried, and she was sympathetic, really she was, but Anna burst into laughter. “A hamster eating a banana.”

“Yeah, and they’re not supposed to even eat that much, so the bad pet ownership is bad enough already, but-- anyway, that’s beside the point, I--” He scowled. “Anna, I really don’t think this is funny.”

“It’s just a meme, Kristoff.”

“But I don’t get it.”

“Look at the picture of us again, and then the hamster, and then get back to me,” she said, yanking the shower curtain closed again. 

“But--”

“If you still haven’t gotten the joke by the time I figure out how to shave my ankles, then I’ll come explain.”

Twenty minutes later, when she emerged wrapped in a towel, she peered into the bedroom and saw Kristoff sitting on the bed, his face bright red, as he stared down at his phone. “Solve the mystery yet?” she asked drily as she dug through his t-shirt drawer for something to wear.

“My, uh, my little brother, he uh...he knows about memes, so I texted him, and I...uh…”

She laughed again as she finished getting dressed. “Did he laugh at you, too?”

He groaned and ran a hand over his face. “Pretty sure he’s still laughing.”

---

“Anna! Anna! Miss Arendelle!” She rolled her eyes and tightened the drawstring of her hoodie. Kristoff put an arm protectively over her shoulders as they continued hurrying out of the doctor’s office. “Miss Arendelle, please, if I could just--”

“You can not.”

“We just want to know if it’s a boy or a--”

She turned on her heel and said drily, “It’s a mountain troll, obviously.” She gestured irritably at Kristoff. “See? Takes after his father.”

The next morning, she woke up to the ding of a text from Sam. Maybe you really are better off being your own PR person.

A link to another Buzzfeed article was attached. Curious, she tapped it.

Watch Anna Arendelle’s Hilarious Comeback To A Nosy Photographer!

“Would you look at that,” she mumbled under her breath.

Next to her, Kristoff stirred and rolled over. “Look at what?” he mumbled.

“Nothing. Go back to sleep, mountain man.”

---

Anna came home from a meeting one night and caught Kristoff piled up in the recliner reading one of her pregnancy books. To her surprise, his face was ghost-white. “Kris,” she asked, concerned, “what’s wrong? You look like you’re going to be sick.”

“Just, you know, reading about the labor part.”

“Is it grossing you out that bad?” She couldn’t help but giggle. “You’re a vet, I’m sure you’ve seen worse. Especially with this stuff.”

He looked up then, and to her surprise, his eyes were solemn behind his glasses. “It’s different when you’re picturing your fiancee.”

All the air in her lungs escaped her in a quiet oh. She crossed quickly to the bed and climbed up, crawling towards him. He set the book on the nightstand and looked up at her, worry still in his eyes, as she settled her knees on either side of his lap. Out of habit, he set one hand on the swell of her stomach, the faintest of smiles appearing on his face when a little foot nudged against his hand.

“It’s gonna be okay, sweetheart,” she said softly, settling her own hands on his shoulders. “It’ll all be fine.”

“Sometimes it’s not, though.” 

She winced, and immediately he was apologetic. “I-- shit, sorry, I’m not trying to scare you, it’s just--”

“No, no, you’re right,” she reassured him, gently squeezing his shoulders. “Sometimes it’s not. But it will be. You know me, I’m too stubborn to let anything go wrong.”

“I don’t think it works like that.”

She bit her lip; she had never seen him like this, never known him to be so nervous he couldn’t be comforted. She leaned forward, resting her forehead against his. “What part is scaring you?” she asked, her voice low.

“I don’t want to see you hurting. Especially when I know I can’t do anything to help.”

“You can help. Just having you in there will do so much.”

“But it won’t stop it,” he said, his voice forlorn, and she kissed his cheek, letting her lips linger there as she nuzzled her nose against his temple.

“No. But that’s what epidurals are for.”

“What if--” he said before trailing off, not daring to even give voice to the words.

“Kristoff Bjorgman, you listen to me,” she said, pulling back and waiting to continue until he reluctantly met her gaze. “I have no doubt in my mind that everything will be fine. Okay? I just-- I just won’t let anything bad happen.”

“But you can’t--”

“Have you ever seen anything stop me from doing what I want before?”

She felt him shake his head no. 

“So nothing will stop me this time. I’m going to have this baby-- our baby-- and we’re both going to be fine, and you will too, and when we get to hold him, then you’ll forget you were ever worried about this at all.”

---

Anna and the interviewer both threw back their heads with a laugh as Mattias finished telling them both about his first time at the Oscars and how he’d failed to recognize the man who’d just won Best Actor-- twice.

“How about you, Miss Arendelle?” the interviewer asked as Anna finished wiping the last tear of laughter from her eye. “How do you feel about going to your first Oscars next year?”

She felt her cheeks coloring. “Oh, well, we’ll see if we even get there.”

The interviewer laughed. “Modest as always. There’s already lots of Oscar buzz around the movie and your performance in particular.”

Anna shifted awkwardly in her seat. “Um. Sort of like puking, if I’m honest.”

That got them both laughing again. “Speaking of puking, though,” the interviewer said cheerfully, “what’s it like being a first-time mother and a first-time movie star simultaneously?”

“Amazing and terrifying and wonderful and just...so many things all at once,” she admitted. “I really couldn’t do it without my support network, especially my fiance. It’s just...yeah. I can’t thank everybody enough.”

“Speaking of your fiance...are you willing to share your thoughts on where in the world Hans Westergaard has run off to?”

Her lips curled up into a smirk.

---

“Remind me to get more tomato juice at Trader Joe’s today,” Anna called as she pored through another script that had been sent her way-- another period drama, but this one, at least, wouldn’t involve squeezing her recently-pregnant body into a corset.

“We don’t need to,” he replied as he came into the kitchen carrying a basket of freshly dried towels. “You’ve been going through it so fast this week I set up one of those Amazon weekly delivery things. There’ll be three gallons of it on the porch in--” He glanced at his watch. “An hour. Wanna help me fold all this shit and watch HGTV?”

She stared at him for a long moment as he passed her, absentmindedly whistling one of the songs she’d driven him crazy with that winter, and walked into the living room.

It occurred to her, all of a sudden, that some things were worth waiting for-- but that sometimes, there was no longer any worth in waiting.

“Kris?” she said as he set the basket down.

“Yeah, baby?” he asked, raising an eyebrow as she crossed over to him and stood between his knees.

She cupped his face in her hands, studying his expression as he smiled softly and set his own hands on her hips. “Can I say something crazy?”

“You usually don’t bother asking.”

Under normal circumstances, she would have laughed and leaned down to kiss him, but instead she broke into a wide smile. “What if we just got married?”

[smooshjames]

forget you not (iii)

uh-oh, uh-oh, here i go again (or: interviews and old friends)

word count: just under 4k

a/n: part 3 of forget you not! i was gonna post this yesterday and then i totally forgot, but it’s here now! once again, the band in this story is based on little mix and i didn’t write any of the songs referenced (this chapter’s songs can be found here, here, here, and here). at the risk of sounding annoying, i have a ko-fi if you’d like to donate, but don’t feel obligated to do so!! if you can’t or don’t want to that’s totally fine, thank you for taking the time to read my work regardless of if you can spend money on it or not. i hope you enjoy!!

warnings: angst (again)

previous parts: one, two

Sunday morning brought with it more Twitter notifications than you’d gotten in a long time. Your alarm went off obscenely early yet again; you had a full day ahead of you. The band was recording a new single which would be released sometime later in the year (the date was still up in the air) and you had decided to do it while you were in LA since you could work with a few producers that you’d never met before.

So, at five o’clock in the morning, you rolled over in your hotel bed and groped around on your nightstand for your phone. You shot upright when you saw how many notifications you had, a bolt of panic going through you at first. What the hell could’ve happened to result in so much activity?

You scrolled through a couple of your mentions before you got to a tweet from some gossip site. There was a photo of you from the concert the night before, probably taken by a fan if the quality was anything to go by. You were mid-note, your mouth open around a word, and it was pretty obvious that you were crying. The tweet read: “‘You never brought me flowers’! Y/N Y/L/N tears up while singing her band’s hit song Towers. Could there be a mystery man that caused her to get so emotional on stage…?”

Carly mumbled a good morning from the bed next to yours. You didn’t reply. You barely even noticed her leaving the main area of the room and heading into the bathroom; you were too busy looking through the replies to the tweet. They were all pretty tame, but you still felt a pit opening up in your stomach. You didn’t have any press that day since you were recording the new single, but the next day was chock-full of interviews and other promotional shit. Your Twitter feed was showing no signs of slowing down, and you really didn't want to have to explain to some random interviewer that you'd been crying because you still weren't over a breakup from five years ago.

“Everything okay?” Carly asked. You looked up, startled, and realized that she had come back from the bathroom. “You seem… distraught.”

You beckoned her over to your bed and showed her the original tweet from the gossip site. Carly gasped and took your phone from you, beginning to scroll through the replies. “Jesus,” she said. “This’ll be a shitstorm.”

“I know,” you replied. You glanced over at the clock on the nightstand and sighed; you needed to get up and ready for the day. Carly gave your phone back to you.

You muted your Twitter notifications for the time being, not wanting to be distracted while you were recording the new single. If an interviewer brought it up you’d just find a way to gloss over it.

You shuffled into the bathroom and did your usual morning routine. You decided to forego makeup for the day since you’d just be sitting around a studio all day, anyway. You dressed in comfortable clothes for the same reason. You figured it would be a little bit hard to focus on recording if you were in heels or tight jeans or something similarly uncomfortable, and you wanted to save your remaining nice clothes for the following day, anyway. Sweatpants and an old t-shirt it was.

Once you were dressed and somewhat ready to face the world, you and Carly grabbed your bags and went out into the hallway. Alexis and Piper were still in their room next door, but they let you and Carly in so that you could all sit and talk while they finished getting ready. Once you were all good to go, you met up with Michelle in the lobby and got into the car that would take you to the studio.

It was a pretty cool space; chill, with couches and chairs spread out around the mixing board where the producers would work their magic. You met the audio engineers as you were walking in, and everyone shook hands and went in to get to work. They seemed nice, and they definitely had a lot of cool ideas for what might enhance the song’s sound. You and the rest of the band had already worked out the lyrics and a basic melody, but the recording technicians had some ideas to really make the song pop.

The day passed in a blur of singing and listening and revising, and then repeating the process all over again. By the time you left, the sun was touching the western horizon and the song was almost finished; just a few final edits before it would be perfect and ready for release. “We’ll get it to Michelle in the next couple of days,” one of the producers said.

You were exhausted as you collapsed back into your hotel bed, but it was a good sort of exhaustion; the kind of sated tiredness that comes with a good day’s work.

You were flying so high, in fact, that you’d almost forgotten about all the Shayne drama. You fell asleep with a slight smile on your face, and your sleep was peaceful and dreamless.

***

That pleasant warmth of a job well done was ripped from you almost as soon as the next day began. Your first interview was with a local radio station, and it went alright for about five minutes; you exchanged pleasantries with the hosts, Joe and Maggie, and sat down between Carly and Alexis for your interview.

The hosts did their intro, introduced the band, and explained that you were currently in LA on the west coast branch of your current tour. Once that was done and the band had all said hello, Maggie turned to you, and the smile she flashed you was… strangely apologetic.

And then you remembered. Shayne, Towers, crying onstage. That apologetic smile hit you so fast it practically gave you whiplash.

“So, ladies,” Maggie said. “There was some interesting news about your concert on Saturday. You guys sang your song Towers -- beautiful song, by the way -- and Y/N… there were a couple of tears there, huh? Anything you can tell us about that? Is everything okay?”

From beside you, Carly opened her mouth, probably to say that you didn’t want to talk about it, but you stopped her with a hand on her arm. Her willingness to defend you meant a lot, but if you didn’t address it, it would just keep getting brought up. At least if you answered this you could do some damage control. “Yeah,” you said. “Um, I actually lived in LA for a while before meeting these lovely ladies and starting up the band with them. And while I was here, I was in a pretty serious relationship with a guy -- I won’t say his name for privacy’s sake -- and we broke up. I guess being back in LA and singing that song just… brought back some memories. But that was all; no new mystery man or anything like that, I’m afraid.”

There, that was a good enough answer. It held enough of the truth that you felt confident they wouldn’t press you for any more information, but you hadn’t told them the exact real reason. They didn’t know he was in the room, and they didn’t know who he was.

Maggie smiled and nodded, and Joe asked another question about the band that was unrelated to your love life, which brought a wave of relief sweeping over you. You smiled and laughed through the rest of the interview, chiming in with answers whenever it felt appropriate, and then said your goodbyes as the hosts transitioned into the next song

All things considered, that hadn’t been so bad.

Once you were out of the radio station headquarters and into your car, Michelle got back to business. “Alright, next up… another interview which won’t be broadcasted live. You guys are performing Think About Us while you’re there. Then we have an hour for lunch. After lunch, you’ll film a video with Smosh, and then another radio interview after that, and then you’re free for the day. Assuming everything goes to plan.”

You nodded and settled into easy conversation with the girls during the car ride to your next venue. You were pretty excited to film with Smosh; you hadn’t seen any of their recent stuff, but you were familiar with them in that you had heard of them and you knew they primarily made comedic content. You figured that would probably mean it would be a fun time to film there.

The next interview went just fine, and the performance went even better. For lunch, you and the rest of the team got food at a cute little bistro near Smosh’s offices.

When you arrived after your lunch break you were greeted by Ian Hecox, the president of the company. He was super friendly, greeting you all with handshakes and a warm smile. Once you’d all been introduced he began to lead you through the office space, explaining that you’d be recording an episode of their ongoing Try Not to Laugh series. As he launched into an explanation of the rules, a hand on your shoulder made you tense and whip around, surprised. This brought you face to face with…

“Damien?”

Your eyes widened almost comically as you saw the man standing before you. He looked a little different since you’d seen him last; his hair was longer and streaked with blue, and he carried himself a little taller, a little prouder. But he still had that same boyish smile, those same brown eyes. He was still Damien, and he was here.

“Hey, Y/N,” he said.

You laughed, shocked and joyful, and threw your arms around his shoulders, practically launching yourself onto him. He hugged you back tightly. When you pulled back, you punched him jovially on the arm.

“It’s so good to see you!” you said, a little breathless. “What are you doing here?

“I work here. I’ll actually be filming with you guys this afternoon,” he replied

“No way, that’s crazy!” You leaned back and perched your hands on his hips, surveying him, half disbelieving.

He nodded and opened his mouth to speak again, but Ian’s voice interrupted your reunion. “You two, uh… you two know each other?”

“Yeah,” you said, glancing over your shoulder. “I knew Damien… God, ages ago. We were really good friends.”

Carly’s eyes now widened in recognition. She smiled at Damien and raised her hand in greeting to him.

“Hey, Carly,” he said. He put his hand on your forearm and you turned back to face him again. The look on his face made your smile fade a little bit; he seemed nervous and a little sad. “Y/N, I should warn you --”

“Holy shit!” another voice interrupted you two, this one distinctively female. And also… strangely familiar. You turned toward the source and what you saw felt like two consecutive throat punches.

Courtney, Shayne’s new girlfriend, was standing across the room. She seemed to have just entered, and judging from the wide-eyed look on her face, she was just as surprised as you were. Standing directly next to her, staring at the floor by your feet… was Shayne himself.

You heard Damien mutter something under his breath, but your brain didn’t fully process what he said. You were too busy looking at Courtney and Shayne and wondering why the hell they were here. Before you could say anything, though, Ian stepped forward.

“Sweet, we’re all here,” he said. “Y/N, Alexis, Piper, Carly, this is Shayne and Courtney. Shayne’s gonna be filming with you guys this afternoon --” of course he was “-- and Courtney is --”

“Your biggest fan!” the girl interrupted him, and even despite the resentment you couldn't help feeling toward her, you had to admit that she was really sweet. She seemed like someone you might be really good friends with were it not for the fact that she was dating your ex, which made you feel even worse; she hadn’t done anything to deserve your hatred, but here you were hating her anyway. “You probably don’t remember, but I was at the concert on Saturday. It was super good, you guys crushed it.”

“I remember,” you said, because you didn’t know when to shut up. Courtney’s jaw dropped onto the floor. “Yeah, I remember. You guys came together, didn’t you?”

The accusation was clear, at least to those in the know; Carly went pale, Piper inhaled sharply, Alexis started coughing, Damien shuffled his feet nervously, and Shayne opened his mouth to speak. Before he could say whatever he wanted to, though, he seemed to think better of it and closed his mouth again.

Courtney didn’t seem to pick up on anything unusual, though, because she just nodded happily and went on talking.

“Yeah, we did!” she said, slinging her arm around Shayne’s shoulders. If you didn’t know any better, you would’ve said that he stiffened as she pulled him into her side. His face tightened into a grimace, but you couldn't possibly imagine why. It was obvious that they were together. He didn’t need to hide that for your sake. “I was so fucking pumped when you guys sang Towers, you don’t even understand. That’s one of my favorite songs by you guys and you crushed it, especially you Y/N. Your part always hits a little different for me.”

Yeah, you and me both, you thought. But you smiled and nodded happily. “I’m glad you liked it!” you said. You turned back to the band and made eye contact with Michelle. She raised an eyebrow. You inclined your head just slightly toward Ian. She nodded; she knew what you needed.

“I hate to interrupt,” she said, “but we should probably get this show on the road. The girls have got a packed schedule today.”

“Of course!” Ian said. “Courtney, maybe you can harass them more if they have time when we’re done filming. But for now, Shayne, Damien, ladies, follow me.”

You hurried to catch up to the rest of the band. Carly and Alexis fell into step with you while Piper started walking behind you, obviously trying to shield you from Shayne’s gaze. You had another moment of profound gratitude for these girls; they took care of you when no one else would, they loved you when you couldn’t love yourself, and they always seemed to know what you needed without having to ask. That shared strength and love was one of the reasons the band had stayed together for so long.

Impressively enough, you managed to keep your shit together until you got to Carly’s. You didn’t bother texting her to let her know that you were coming. She’d let you in if she was home, and if she wasn't home, you knew her building code and where she kept her spare key.

Luckily, she was home; she let you up to her apartment without question.

Only once you’d crossed the threshold of your best friend’s apartment did you allow yourself to cry. You crumpled like a piece of paper against her and let out a sob so loud it bordered on a scream. Carly maneuvered you back onto her couch, sat down with you, and held you until you could talk. You were still crying when you pulled away from her, but you’d gotten out the full-body sobs.

“Honey, what happened?” Carly asked. You could hear the concern in her voice; it was rare that you showed up at her place unannounced, and even rarer that you started the visit by scream-crying into her shirt. She probably thought somebody was dead.

“Shayne got home from work and ended things,” you said. “Just… no warning, no ceremony, nothing. Three days ago he asked me my fucking ring size and today he told me that we aren’t working anymore. And I don’t understand because I thought he was happy! I thought we were good! I thought that we’d be fucking picking a date for our wedding, not for when I’m gonna come move out the rest of my shit!”

Before Carly could respond, your phone vibrated. You took it out and couldn’t help your tearful, almost-manic laugh at what you saw there; a text from Shayne, apologizing, asking if you would come home and talk. You went to reply, but Carly grabbed your phone and held it away from you before you could.

“Hey!” you exclaimed, lunging for your phone. She was an expert at keep-away, though, and you couldn’t even get close. You cursed yourself for all the nights out where you asked her to keep your phone away from you if you got too drunk. “Carly, give me my phone!”

“Promise me you won’t text him back and you can have it,” she said.

“That’s ridiculous! Of course I’m gonna text him back!”

“Is that a good idea?” she asked. She cocked an eyebrow. “If you can honestly tell me that you think it’s a good idea for you to say anything to him right now, I’ll give you your phone back.”

That knocked some sense into you. Immediately, the fight left your body and you sat back on the couch. She studied you for a moment and then leaned forward to set the phone on the coffee table. When you didn’t go for it, she relaxed and leaned back.

“Sorry,” you said. “I’m all over the place.”

“I know. It’s okay. That’s what I’m here for, right? Now, walk me through what happened.”

“He came home and he was being weird, and he was like ‘hey can we talk’ and then he basically just said that it isn’t working anymore and that he can’t be with me. He didn’t give me a reason besides that and I didn’t ask him for one. I just packed a bag and came here.”

Carly nodded, considering. “That’s really fucking weird.”

“Honestly, I’m surprised it took this long,” you said. At her shocked expression, you shrugged. “I’ve always said that he’s out of my league, right? It was only a matter of time before he got tired of me and realized he could do better. He probably realized that if we got married, he’d have a hell of a harder time getting away from me.”

“Were it not for the state of emotional peril you’re in right now, I would slap you,” Carly said. You let out a startled laugh; of all the things she could've said, you weren't expecting that. “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard you say, and I’ve known you for a long time. If that was true -- which it isn’t, by the way, you’re the sexiest, most beautiful, smartest, funniest, greatest person I know -- it wouldn’t have taken him three years to ‘get bored.’ This is one of the dumber stunts he’s pulled, which is saying something. But this isn’t your fault. He’s the asshole here, regardless of his reasoning. If you want to talk to him and try to work things out, that’s your business. But whether or not things work out, this will always be on him. And I’ll be here every step of the way, buttercup.”

You nodded gratefully, even though you didn't believe her. You’d never been good enough for Shayne. This was always inevitable. Still, you put on a brave face for Carly. Better she didn’t know what you were really thinking. “You’re right,” you said. “Thanks, Carly.”

You could tell from the look on her face that she didn’t completely believe you, which wasn’t surprising. Carly always knew when you were lying. But she also knew when to let an issue lie. “Good,” she said. “Now, Bridesmaids or Legally Blonde?”

Ian led the group to a colorful sound stage. To the right was a partition, and behind it a bunch of strange props and costume pieces. To the left was a single stool, a piano, and some bongos.

The room was swarming with activity as crew people moved around getting everything set up and ready to go. Shayne and Damien led you over to the set. “Y/N, why don’t you sit in the stool for the intro?” Shayne said, the first words he’d said to you since you had broken up. His voice was professional and upbeat, betraying almost no emotion. “And then I’ll stand to your right, Damien will be behind me, and the rest of the band can be to your left.”

“Sounds fine to me,” you said, and you hoped your voice sounded less forced to him than it did to you. You sat on the stool, glad to be off your feet; your balance was suddenly fucked now that Shayne was next to you, and you were afraid you wouldn’t be able to keep yourself upright if you tried to stand for much longer.

Shayne went to go check something with a cameraperson, and the girls formed another huddle around you. Carly stood right in front of you, Piper to your immediate left, and Alexis just behind you. “Are you alright?” Carly asked.

“I’m sorry,” Damien said, cutting into the conversation before you could even think about how to answer Carly’s question. He was standing to your right, though he was a little farther away than your bandmates were. “I wanted to let you know before you saw him. I thought maybe it would be easier that way.”

“It’s okay, Dames. It’s not your fault,” you said. You reached over to squeeze his bicep, hoping to ease his mind a little bit, but the guilt didn’t leave his face.

“How did you know we would be here today?” Carly asked. You gave her a stern look, but she either didn’t see it or just didn’t care.

Damien fidgeted, nervous. You didn’t blame him; Carly was a force of nature when she wanted to be. “Um,” he said, “what do you mean?

“I mean that you had enough foresight to know that you could surprise Y/N and warn her about Shayne. So you knew we would be here.”

“We get a filming schedule at the beginning of the week,” Damien said. You looked at Carly as if to say There, see? A perfectly good reason. Now back off and let the poor boy breathe. But then Damien continued: “and Shayne told me about seeing Y/N on Saturday, so --”

He cut himself off, clamping his mouth shut as he seemed to realize what he’d said. Your gaze flew from Carly to Damien. For a moment, you felt thoroughly like a middle schooler; the he-said-she-said was something you thought would get left in sixth grade, but here you were nonetheless. Still, you couldn’t help the way your heart rate accelerated at Damien’s words. If Shayne had mentioned you specifically…

“What?” you asked.

You didn’t want to get your hopes up. You couldn’t get your hopes up. Shayne mentioning you didn’t mean anything. Besides, he had a new girlfriend now, anyway. He’d probably just done it since you and Damien were friends before shit hit the fan.

Damien didn’t get the chance to answer your question before Shayne returned from his conversation with the cameraperson. You were pretty sure he knew that you guys had been talking about him; it was pretty obvious by the way the conversation stopped short as soon as he got within earshot. But if he knew, he didn’t comment on it. He just walked over and took his place next to you.

Carly flashed him a look colder than the south pole and moved to stand on your other side, and then she plastered the brightest smile you’d ever seen on her face. You did the same.

“Alright, everybody ready?” one of the crew people asked. You nodded your assent. “Three, two, and… action!”

[seriouslyhooked]

When We Collide (Part 3)

Emma Swan has always known one thing: trust no one but yourself. Unfortunately she forgot her one rule and now she’s paying for it. One bad decision led her to the monstrous ‘Crocodile’ a mobster in New York who goes by the name Gold. Hope seems lost until she meets another person in this underworld, Killian Jones. Despite the place they find each other, a true love blossoms, and they manage to get away. But what will happen when Emma discovers who Killian really is? Will love prevail? Um, yeah, I’m writing this, so duh – it’s all love all the time. Fic features motorcycles, hot guys in leather cuts, and a bit of action/drama. Will end happily, and despite the first chapter, will be light on angst. Part 1, Part 2. Available on FanFiction Here and AO3 Here.

A/N: Hey everyone! So we are back again for another installment of this new fic, and I have to admit it’s been so fun to write this. It’s a strange new tone for me, but I’m trying to marry my love for fluff, and the intrigue/peril of this story that my muse dreamed up. There’s much more to come, but I am also trying to keep chapters shorter this go around. I definitely will end up with more than the 12 I was planning originally, but just in terms of pacing, it’s a changeup to have the shorter chapters that I use to have. Anyway, regardless of length, I hope you will enjoy this installment, which shows Emma and Killian post-Gold while also providing a flashback too. Can’t wait to see what you all think, and thank you so much for reading!

Five days into their drive towards destiny, and Emma was really starting to wonder – how far away was home exactly?

Okay to be fair, she knew where they were headed – a tiny town not far from Big Sur, clear across the country from Gold and his crew. Killian had told her as much weeks ago, but only when he was certain they wouldn’t be overheard. She loved the idea of California, never having been there herself, but she didn’t really account for how long it would take to travel that many miles. They rode and rode every day, but they could be traveling further if Killian would let them. She tried to tell him as much, but he disagreed. Responding every time with thoughtful things that made her heart melt a little more:

“I won’t risk you hurting, love. Not when you are everything, my heart and my soul.”

“You may not realize it yet, but the road can be unforgiving. Best to take it easy, especially when the cargo is as precious as you.”

“Please, Swan, let me have this. Let me take care of you. Trust in me, Emma – I promise, I won’t ever let you down.”

At every stage of this journey Killian had put her comfort first, which was wild since they were really on the run. Still Killian treated this like it was a trip to be remembered, instead of one to be rushed through. Emma was amazed at the places they’d been staying, and how each one was out of the way while still being beautiful and well-kept. They never stayed anywhere too populated, always choosing local hideaways over hustle and bustle or household names, but every place had its own organic beauty and charm. They explored these little safe havens, talking and loving and living together, and every stop along the journey, Emma felt the weight of her fear ease away. The further they got from New York the freer she felt that she was. And the thought of her freedom was so perfect, especially if she could spend that freedom with a man she loved as fiercely as Killian.

“What’s put that smile on your face, love?”

Killian’s words washed over her at the same time his arms wrapped around her, hugging her from behind. She closed her eyes and let out a happy sigh, loving the fresh air and the hum of the natural world around them on the balcony at this little bed and breakfast they’d happened upon. They had ‘the best room’ in the house, which was to say a stand-alone cottage at the back of the inn, and it felt private and peaceful and perfect.

“Just this guy,” she teased, loving the growl that Killian released. Leave it to her man to get jealous over nothing. There were no men in her life like him, certainly none that mattered, and he knew that. Still it was fun when he got all worked up, and the vibrations of the grumble he’d let out mixed with his roaming hands made her body tense in the most pleasurable way.

“Ah, anyone I know?” Killian joked, nuzzling into her neck and laying a kiss on her skin that made her shiver. Unable to resist, she spun around in his arms and melted into him, her hands resting on his chest.

“Hmm, it’s hard to say. You see not a lot of people know him – the real him. He’s mysterious that way.”

“And you?” Killian asked, his voice taut with sincerity as he dropped the charade. “Do you feel you know me?”

Looking into his eyes, Emma saw how important this question was to him. After years of hiding himself in darkness, working with Gold and other evil, vile people, Killian was wary of himself and his worth. She saw the doubts that he carried, the worry in his heart, but she knew this man completely. Honestly, she’d known there was more to him from the start. Something honest and real. But if she’d still needed convincing that he was good and true and kind underneath it all, he’d handed it to her in one perfect, thoughtful moment that sealed the deal and stole her heart…

And there it is:  I, Emma Swan, am officially homeless. Again.

The weight of that knowledge cut Emma to her core. For years she had worked day in and day out to claw herself into something resembling stability. After years in her foster homes, and more on the street and living in her car, it meant everything to her to have a place, a real place, to call her own. In fact, it meant so much to her that she’d paid up front to her landlord. She didn’t want to risk him looking for new tenants, so she always paid promptly and in full. This time she’d actually taken it further, giving three whole months rent, just before this all went down. Her landlord was grateful, but still clear with her – just because she paid up front, didn’t mean he’d accept late payments. And now she was late. A full month behind, and just entering the window for eviction. When the clock struck midnight, she’d passed the final day. Her home would now be vacated, cleared out, and everything she owned would be tossed, sold, or stolen.

The reason she knew how this would all go was because she’d seen it many times. Her building was filled with people who for, whatever reason, could not pay the bills. As such, a number of them had been evited, and always with the same cold, calculated precision. The landlord didn’t even show himself. He hired workers to clear it all and used the cops to intimidate people into leaving. It was awful, but it was life. And now it was her life. Damn it, why the hell was this her life?

“Yo, blondie, you gonna get us our beers, or you gonna keep staring at the clock some more?”

The rude call from one of the patrons snapped Emma back into the moment, and she fought tooth and nail to force the tears in her eyes from falling. She had yet to let these men see her pain, and she would die before she ever did. As badly as this hurt, as agonizing as this was, she couldn’t let it show. She had to keep moving, keep going, and just remember that the most important thing was to survive.

The next few hours were all a blur of rowdy miscreants and a lot of ballsy drunks. The worst part, though, was that Killian wouldn’t be by. He mentioned to her the last time he was in that he was going on a run. He’d be out of town for some time, and wasn’t supposed to be back until the end of the week. She’d only known him for a little while now, but it was a disappointment when he didn’t stop in. Seeing him made all the difference in her day. He kept the savages at bay, and though they both did their best to be discrete, she felt his presence, sensed his eyes on her any time they could be, and savored every moment when he came close, asking for a drink or paying his tab at the end of the night.

Thinking of those good moments ultimately got her through the rest of her shift, and through some kind of small mercy, Sydney let her out a half an hour earlier than he normally would. She was excused from after-hours clean up, and for once she took the out, rushing upstairs, hoping to get away from everyone and everything. She reached for her keys, as she came down the hall, but her door was open as she got closer and immediately her guard went up. No way in hell she’d left this door open. She was always meticulous about keeping it shut. Then there were footsteps inside and she looked in to see the one man she’d been missing most of all.

“Killian?” she asked, shocked at seeing him as she raced inside. How was he back so soon? And what was he carrying in that cardboard box? Wait, was that…?

“Emma, love, you’re early,” he said, looking totally caught off guard at her entrance. “You’re shift’s never over at this time. You’ve usually got -,”

“That’s my stuff,” She said interrupting him.

“Aye,” he said, looking defeated. “Well it’s what I could salvage any way.  As soon as I heard, I tried to get back sooner, Emma, I swear I did. But by the time I made it, so much was already gone. This was all I could save.”

Emma reached to the item on the top of the box, the one thing she actually cared about – her blanket, emblazoned with her name, and still bearing the same scent of honeysuckle and an ocean breeze that it always seemed to have. It was like magic, that smell, imprinted on the woven bands that made this knitted shrug as long as she could remember. No matter where it was or what it had seen, the smell always remained, comforting her, and making her believe that it must have been crafted with love. It was a sign to her that there had been people who loved her, for however brief a time, and this was their one precious gift to her.

“I’m so sorry, Emma. If I had known this was happening… I tried to reason with your landlord, to pay off what’s due just to buy you more time but -,”

Dropping the blanket back into the box, gently, Emma pulled the cardboard compartment from his hands and tossed it onto the couch beside them. Then she stepped into Killian’s arms, cupping his face, and kissing him surely. There was no other way for her to make him see how much this meant to her. No words could be uttered, no thanks could be shared. All it took was a single second for him to be there with her, holding her close, wrapping her up in a warm embrace that made her feel whole when for so long she was broken. It was transcendent, so much more than just a kiss, and when they finally broke apart to breathe, Emma looked at him and saw the heat and the care and the goodness in his eyes. She knew then that she trusted him. That he was honorable and true, despite the line of work he was in, and that she was scarily close to falling for him, in a total and irrevocable way.

“I can’t believe you did this. No one’s ever cared, I mean, no one even thought…” Emma felt tears threatening again, and she closed her eyes. Unbidden, they fell, and then she felt Killian’s thumb swipe them away as he came to hold her. She opened her eyes again, and smiled through the little bit of crying. “Thank you, Killian. Thank you so much.”

“You deserve the whole world, Emma,” he said, staring at her so intently, a battle going on in his mind that she couldn’t quite read. “Fuck me, just one more taste.”

He growled out the words and pressed his lips to hers again, this time taking things even further than before. This was a kiss of hunger, of passion, of wanting. It was a spark that flared brightly, a flame catching into a burning fiery force, and she loved it. She needed this, needed him, and didn’t realize how dulled and cut off she’d been. To get through this she’d been numbing herself, surviving but not living, but in his arms and with this kiss, she felt so alive. More so than she ever had in her life.

Too soon the kiss was over, and this time, when they broke away, Killian straightened, putting a bit of distance that she hated between them. “Much as I might like to take this further, Swan, I can’t. You’re vulnerable still. Reeling from the day, and if we continue…”

“When we continue,” she said boldly, causing him to shake his head even as that wicked, sexy wanting sparked back to life in his blue eyes.

“If we continue, I won’t ever stop. One taste could never be enough, and two will damn near kill me. If I taste you a third time, you’ll be mine.”

“Yours?” she asked, her heart thudding in her chest even as the voice in her head pleaded with her to make that jump.

“Aye, mine. Right now, my world is ugly, Emma. Far too ugly a place for a woman like you. I need to make it better. Need to find some light before I let you in. But I’m only so strong. The next time you kiss me, there will be no turning back. You’ll seal our fates. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Emma whispered.

“Good,” he replied, grabbing his leather jacket, his hands curling into fists as he put it on and made for the door. Then he looked at her, a million things left unsaid between them for a beat until he finally nodded at the door. “Lock up behind me.”

She nodded, and was going to ask him to wait, but she was too slow. He raced out of the apartment, like he was scared to make good on his word, and Emma was left stunned. Her lips still tingling from the feel of him, and her whole body buzzing in kind. She made her way to the door, following his order to bolt everything in place and then she leaned against the wood, pressing her back against the cool paint finish. Her hand came up to cover her mouth, and she looked around the room, her eyes catching on the box once more. Then she smiled and closed her eyes, knowing that the next chance she got she was kissing that man. Consequences be damned – she was going to be his, and she sure as hell hoped he’d be hers in return...

“I don’t feel that I know you, I know that I do,” Emma said honestly, coming back from the memory and into this moment with Killian once more.  At her words, he let out a sigh of relief and she ran her hand along his jaw. He leaned into the motion, clearly loving the feel of her soft skin against his rough beard, and she wanted to give him that comfort and certainty. “We may not know every little detail about each other yet, but that doesn’t change the way I feel. There are ghosts in our past, and dreams of the future that we maybe haven’t shared, but I know you, Killian. I know you and I love you.”

“Gods I’ll never get enough of that,” Killian said holding her close, before making a heartfelt confession of his own. “And there will never be another woman I love so much as you, Emma. You were it for me the moment I saw you. You’ll be it for me until my final breath.”

“Only until then?” she teased, trying to lighten the mood and laughing when he growled again and pulled her so close they were centimeters away from a kiss.

“You know what happens when you tease me, love.”

“Mhmm,” she said, breathlessly confirming that she did as she licked her lips. She waited agonizing moments for him to kiss her but then he surprised the shit out of her throwing her up over his shoulder and heading downstairs and out towards the lake. She shook with laughter, confused as to what he was doing until they reached the sand and he put her down.

“Loose the dress, Swan. I make no promises on your salvaging it if you leave it to me.” She shivered at the command in his voice. Damn he was hot. Especially when he went all alpha like this. Luckily, they’d been dressed for a possible swim, so she had a newly purchased swimsuit underneath.

Holding his eyes as much as she could, Emma delighted in how focused Killian was on her. But then he returned the favor, losing his shirt and she was lost. She always got dizzy seeing him like this, and that feeling lingered through their swim and as they sprawled out on the dock some time later. Letting the heat of the fading summer sun dry them off, Emma hummed out a sound of contentment. Okay, honestly, this right here was the life. But as that thought went through her mind she shot up, looking all around them suddenly frantic.

“Emma what is it?” he asked, genuine concern lacing his voice.

“We can’t be like this, can we? I mean we’re on the run,” she whispered. “Gold could find us. He could -,”

Killian silenced her with a kiss, thoroughly distracting her before explaining his seemingly lax behavior. “Gold has been successfully brought into custody and is none the wiser of my involvement in his demise. His lieutenants have also all been charged, and the henchmen have gone to ground. The syndicate is bleeding, Emma. There’s no one around to ask questions, and you and I are not the only ones in Gold’s service who’ve made a run for it.”

“How do you know?” Emma asked.

“I have my ways,” he grinned, and she rolled her eyes but smiled all the same. “And don’t think for a second that I’ve made any compromises on your safety. We’re relaxing as we are because I have complete and total confidence in the safety of our stops.”

“What did you do, set up some trip wires or something?”

“Didn’t have to – the whole place has surveillance capabilities set up already.”

“It does?” Emma asked, shocked and Killian laughed.

“Aye, love. Tiana’s special forces.”

“You’re kidding,” Emma said, looking at him for signs of jest. “Wait, seriously?”

“Seriously. Her mother runs the inn when she’s deployed, but this place is a haven of sorts. Most of the places we’ll land over the next week will be.”

“Wait, so you’re telling me there’s like a secret, high tech, military bed and breakfast system scattered across the country?” Killian laughed heartily at that and shook his head.

“Not quite. As you’ll recall, not every place we’ve stayed has been like this. There are simply many, many favors I had to cash in from my days with the SEALs. This is one of them.”

“You’re incredible, you know that?” Emma asked and Killian’s look softened as he held her close.

“I’d be anything for you, Emma.”

“All you have to do is be yourself,” she promised, kissing him sweetly but pulling back just as the kiss was set to begin. He groaned at her absence, and watched with warry eyes as she stood up, moving away from him. With motions so fast and controlled she marveled at them he got up too, never letting too much space between them.

“Change your mind, on something, love?”

“Hardly,” Emma said grabbing her dress and toying with it, but not putting it back on. “I was just thinking…” she said, letting her gaze run down his body as she licked her lips. God he was gorgeous, and time was doing nothing to dull the effect he had on her.

“What were you thinking?” he ground out, moving forward again, but she put her hand up.

“Trust me, honey,” she said, knowing how much the little pet name riled him up.  “Nothing I’m thinking is fit for this place. Way too public. For what I want, we need a bit more privacy.”

“As you wish,” he promised, once again sweeping her into his arms and making her melt against him. And as he carried her away, no doubt towards a night of steamy passion in his arms, Emma felt what it was to be truly happy. For though the road was still uncertain, and their future might not be totally clear, she had faith it would all work out, as long as they had each other and many more moments like this one.

Post-Note: Okay so some of you are no doubt cursing me for not writing out the smut. I know exactly who you are, and let me just say, I have no intention of defending myself. I was mean like this on purpose, but trust me, I’ll make up for it in this fic many times over. In the meantime, I hope that you guys enjoyed this little glimpse into the present and the past. I want to include some memories from their shared from the dark days as much as I can, and from their lives before Gold too, and the only way I know how to interact with that kind of angst, is to wrap it up in present day fluff. Anyway, hope that you all enjoyed, and I appreciate your cheering me on and letting me know what you think. See you all next time!

[iwritethat]

Jason Todd: Walking Dead

A/N: I know some of the plot points aren’t factual in the DC universe but I got creative with Jason’s character, hopefully it’s a nice read though. 🎃

>>>>——————————>

Jason’s flatmate was weird.

He was never quick to judge someone and after all of the characters he’d encountered in his life , to reach such a label so fast was saying something.

In the beginning of the arrangement the two got along swimmingly, but soon enough the dynamic became rather ambiguous. (Y/n) was a friend of Roy’s and as such couldn’t be all bad - sure, they had their peculiar introduction but once out of the way it all seemed too good to be true. Roy brought up the proposal of living with one of his old friends when Jason needed a new temporary place to stay, he’d said (Y/n) had been there through his worst and helped him with recovery -?that no one was more loyal and reliable than them.

However, it grew considerably weird with the startled scream his sharer released when seeing him in the dark, now this was perfectly normal as maybe they weren’t used to having someone around quite yet - at least that would’ve been the explanation if they weren’t 2 weeks into their deal. Not only that but (Y/n) scrambled back to their room at record speed and slammed the door behind with no justifiable means.

Strange? Yes.

Next he noticed how they had an obsession with the heating, whenever he was around it always seemed to be on even if the weather of late October miraculously didn’t call for it. It had only begun after they’d cooked breakfast together, maybe they enjoyed the heat of the oven? He’d tried giving them blankets or even his hoodies and yet it wasn’t enough to break their odd habit. Again, weird.

Luckily he wasn’t staying for long...

———

Your new housemate was insanely weird.

Of course you had Roy Harper to thank for that, the only time he pays uninvited visits is when he wants something, your assumptions proven correct with his hinting text message.

[Katniss: U know how much u love me...]

Although his proposition was rather enthralling, his friend needed a place to lay low for a while and with your newly rented 2 bedroom apartment, you were his first choice and thus agreed.

He brought ‘Jason’ over a few days later so you could be introduced - and upon seeing him a vast sea of varying thoughts raced across your mind.

‘He’s hot.’

‘No he’s going to live with you.’

‘Is he one of those friends?’

But then another momentarily fleeting option halted your positivity - is he one of Roy’s older friends, the ones from his rough days of addiction and before you could even register your next actions you’d already subtly voiced such concerns.

“Please don’t bring any dodgy things here, I can’t have the police sniffing around.”

“Like what?” Jason turned to you, brow raised in curiosity.

“Drugs?”

“Oh no, I don’t handle that - I have people to do it for me.” Jason calmly replied, like it was the most normal thing in the world as he took in your kitchen whilst you shot a look that roughly translated to ‘you better be joking’ to a sheepish Roy.

“But I have guns and other weapons, are they okay?” Jason once again faced you with a serious expression, genuinely asking your permission and honestly you could not deny that beautiful man.

“Yeah, I mean sure. You’re not gonna use them right?”

“Not in the apartment. Unless someone breaks in obviously.” The ravenette was confident in his statement, now checking out your living room leaving you slightly baffled.

“Obviously. So um, why do you have them, and why do you have drug runners?” Intrigue burned in your veins, you couldn’t help but strive for answers given the causal circumstances of the contrastingly deadly topics.

“He’s a Crime Lord.” Roy smugly cut in, an immediate expression of concern shot at Jason who you’d hope would deny the allegations.

“Dude, way to sell me. I run a drug ring, you can never stop crime but you can control it so that’s what I do. None of my people sell to kids so that’s a start. So, what’s our rent?” He playfully punched his partner before elaborating and oddly enough it made sense to you.

It should’ve been a warning sign, what normal person makes a first impression by telling you he has people who handle his drugs so don’t ever worry about them being in your apartment. No one.

Although that wasn’t why he was so damn weird. No, far from it. You didn’t know what he was.

One night, you’d awoken to grab some water and tiredly walked out to the kitchen only to meet Jason who possibly just showered after patrol but as it was basically pitch black you couldn’t be certain. You met his gaze - his irises illuminated green - and you instinctively screamed, stopping short as he tilted his head slightly silently asking why you’d done so. Now you thought it was a misunderstanding, a trick of the light maybe, so you stared a few seconds longer and yet they remained dazzlingly bright like fireflies. It was then that you scrambled back to your bedroom slamming the door behind you and sliding down it to the floor with your hand over your mouth, water long forgotten. Safe to say you didn’t sleep that night, demons have vibrant irises don’t they?

It was unknown whether he knew about his glowing eyes, nor could you find an appropriate time to bring it up. You’d built up the courage to do so a few days later over breakfast which you’d opted to cook together.

He hovered over the oven, yourself standing beside him admiring his work until he turned to you with spoon in hand insisting you try some. You did so, holding his wrist steady - his skin beyond freezing - he’d been right next to the oven, how could he be so cold?!

You’d approved of the taste, even if he’d dabbed some on your nose simply for amusement and straight after you switched on the heating to hopefully warm him up a bit.

You continued this procedure whenever you felt he radiated unhealthily low temperatures and occasionally Jason offhandely mentioned that the weather wasn’t cold enough for such measures but you simply shrugged with a smile. Although he would throw a blanket over you, or even offer to lend you one of his hoodies to warm you up and yet you couldn’t understand why he thought you were cold when he was icy to the touch. Ghosts were inhumanly cold...

Plus, although the white streak was quite attractive on him, it was apparently a permanent characteristic but whose hair is naturally white in only one place at such a young age? Frankenstein maybe? But wasn’t he a zombie?

Luckily he wasn’t staying for long...

———

Halloween was upcoming so the TV stations traditionally broadcasted relating titles and it seemed the Sixth Sense was one of them.

Jason hopped through the window, fully clad in his Red Hood armour as the film was finishing, he’d gone to get changed and by the time he’d returned another horror was beginning. He’d joined you on the sofa, resting his legs over you purely for annoyance but you found entertainment in your playful dynamic.

“Hey (Y/n), do you think yelling at a guy holding an AK-47 is a stupid way to die?” It was a random but relevant start to a story he’d intended to tell.

“Oh god you don’t want me to solve cases with you do you because I’m not ready for that man. Like I thought I might be seeing dead people but this is too much.” That particular Sixth Sense related comment surfaced after he’d brought up vigilante related drama - of which he assumed you already knew about due to your relationship with Roy.

“Okay, what is with you? You’ve been acting so weird!” He finally needed answers, the unexplained oddities becomoning too much for both parties involved to the fact Jason was compared to a horror film character.

“Me? I’m not the one with glowing irises!” You sarcastically counter after Jason’s quizzical remark.

“Glow- What?!” He shut his eyes, fingers resting on the bridge of his nose before he looked up to again with a confused glance.

“Your eyes... they glow green in the dark sometimes, didn’t you know that?” Your tone was softer now, the sincerity in it making him want to believe your claims even more.

“No I didn’t... Are you sure? I mean it could’ve been a mistake if -“ Before he could finish, you turned off the lamp beside you and held your hand mirror in front of his face, low and behold they lit up.

“Lazarus green...” His voice was much quieter, tone holding a hint of pained disappointment as he spoke with an almost frustrated expression.

“A-what green?”

“Lazarus, like the Lazarus pits. It doesn’t matter (Y/n), you don’t need to worry about any of that, it will always haunt me by the looks of things.”

“It does matter, please tell me. I’m here for you, that’s what flatmates are for isn’t it no matter how temporary we may be.”

Surprisingly, after a long period of contemplative silence he began his turbulent tale of life, death, vengeance, villains and vigilantism leaving you rather speechless. It was certainly a befitting horror film script.

“...now I’m here, but hopefully one of my safe houses will be clear soon and I’ll be out of your hair.” He finished, shifting his feet that were now entangled with yours as you sat opposite one another on the couch.

“That revival pit, do you think that’s why your eyes glow? It would explain why you’re always cold, and your physical abilities too.” With a finger to your lips you calmly thought aloud, Jason also captivated by the concept.

“I’m cold too? That’s why you insist on keeping the heating on?” Despite his jest, he withdrew himself from you at the thought of affecting you with his apparent side effects of coming back from the dead.

However you shook your head, shifting forward and placing your hand against his, of course his own towered yours in comparison and he was a contrast of bemused and skeptical with your actions. You felt his skin warm up with your touch, the result bringing a smirk to your face.

“I don’t mind it. Your skin might be cold but your heart isn’t, and besides, I can always warm you up Jason.”

“Oh can you now?” He raised a brow at your unintentional suggestive statement, cocky but flirtatious smirk dancing across his lips.

“I - that wasn’t - I was trying - you know what, I’m just glad we’ve solved our differences.” As you attempted to justify yourself, Jason only laughed much to your feigned aggravation.

“True, I’m calling Roy over tomorrow. How could he not notice?” Jason managed, his he argument raising distinct confusion.

“This is Roy we’re talking about.” Was your only reply, though you would acknowledge just how incredibly smart and tactile Roy was any day of the week much like Jason would - but being apart the Outlaws meant subjugation to a few friendly insults.

“Point taken.”

———

Both Roy and Kori had dropped by the next morning to discuss your recent discoveries over breakfast which was a revolutionary one for all of you in some way.

“Glowing eyes? Ah, to be fair you usually wear your mask and helmet so I don’t normally see them and it’s not like I sleep with you so how the hell would I know? As for the cold thing, we’re always outside - if anything I just envied how Lian would always stop crying around you.” Roy calmly sighed, the revelations intriguing to him also and you suspected that he knew more than he was letting on. For a start, keeping such a thing to himself if only to freak you out once he moved in.

“Oh! They say that babies can see the supernatural, like when they just stare into space and people say they can see ghosts. It might be like that.” You laughed, although your comment caused the boys to consider the possibility as it would certainly explain why Lian ceased in her crying around Jason.

“I didn’t say anything as I thought you were trying to match me.” The goddess Kori giggled, her eyes aglow in emerald for demonstration.

“Anyway, is everything set?” Jason nodded to the alien, now concerned with leaving you in peace.

“Sorry Jaybird, gonna need another few weeks before you can leave.” Roy haphazardly shrugged, looking between Jason and yourself as he gazed to you with a sympathetic expression.

“You don’t mind do you? It’s already been 6 weeks, I can -“

“Jason, it’s fine. You’re too weird not to like, but we should stock up on food if you’re staying.” With a wave of your hand you cut him off and smiled, gesturing toward the cupboards as you mentioned them.

The Outlaws were all equally grateful, and soon Roy and Kori headed out meanwhile Jason began writing a shopping list.

“I thought that everything was in order for Jason to come back today?” Kori politely inquired once the pair had left, the previous information contradicting with her current knowledge.

“Shhh, it is but they get on so well, a few more weeks and they both might finally have a place they can call home for once.” Roy carefully explained, a hopeful glint in his eyes mixed with that of sorrow considering what his two friends had gone through.

“I see, as long as our friends are happy then I shall ‘shh’.” The Tamaranean joyfully agreed, all too chipper with the plan.

[bang-and-a-blintz]

Through the Darkness

CHAPTER SIX - ROSEMARY GRITS

Fandom: Dracula (2020)  

Relationship: Dracula/Roxana(OFC)  

Rating: Mature  

Warnings: None  

Word Count: 4,475

Cafe Rose Nicaud had a moderate crowd for the afternoon rush. This allowed Dracula and Roxana to squeeze into a small booth in the far corner without having to wait. It was a cozy spot; the dark walls were lined with brightly painted caricatures of revered local musicians and the glass in the windows was covered with a colored film that reflected purple, green, and gold across the tables. Kermit Ruffin's trumpet cooed and floated casually out from the speakers in the ceiling.

A waitress shuffled over to drop off some menus and waters, when she smiled her cheeks were dotted and rosy and half her teeth were missing. Roxana thanked the woman and took a swig from the ice-cold glass. The midday sun heated the city quite nicely, making her light jacket feel a little too warm, so she shrugged it off and folded it up next to her. Dracula, on the other hand, and despite his all-black three-piece-suit, looked as cool as a cucumber as he lazily put his sunglasses into his breast pocket and picked up the menu.

The image struck her as strangely normal, too normal, to see Dracula sitting across from her at a small cafe tapping his claws against the tabletop and glancing over the menu with an almost bored look. Roxana used the opportunity to properly inspect him in the daylight. She couldn't deny that the man was attractive. His thick black mane was only slightly mussed from the walk, but otherwise impeccably maintained. He had such a distinguished facial structure that she couldn't help but to be in slight awe; from the serious, Slavic brow to the prominently defined cheekbones; he was every bit a good-looking villainous trope. She took particular notice of his full lips; what a soft and pillowy barrier between his vicious teeth and any poor soul that got too close.

By the way his brows knitted together as he read the menu, she gathered he was unfamiliar with the world of modern cuisine. It made it her wonder if he knew anything about human food at all.

"Do you even eat food?" Roxana asked curiously.

Dracula shook his head, "No, but I do find it intriguing how much stock you all put into food here. It's as if you really care about what you consume. I like that."

"Because food is lives. A single plate can tell the stories of the past or create visions for the future; it can soothe your soul, shed your tears, and inspire your senses. It allows us to survive but can just as well be a cause of death." She took another sip of water before continuing. "I believe that flavor is the essence of life and it is blasphemy to claim otherwise."

He stared at her for a moment with what almost looked like fondness. "I completely agree."

"It's a shame though."

"What's that?"

"Well, that you missed out on such a wonderful dish last night," Roxana's lips curved as he cocked his head, "I had really put in the effort and for that chateaubriand to be wasted on you is just tragic."

"To be perfectly honest, I had been thinking about a different kind of meal you could've offered." Dracula grinned, leaning closer across the table, "You know, it's bad for business, not providing for your client's needs and wants. That is something we shall have to work on."

She swallowed thickly, he was a bit too close and she could see nothing but the black hole of his gaze. His eyes were truly mesmerizing and she was afraid of getting lost inside that intimidating stare. Luckily for her, at that moment the waitress came back to take the order, Roxana was grateful for the distraction and spoke up first, "I'll take the rose benedict with some gator sausage and a house bloody, please cher."

"Not a problem, babe, and what about you, handsome?"

"I'm just here for the lady." He smiled boyishly. "But I wouldn't mind trying a tall glass of yourself."

She gave a shriek of laughter and pointed a crooked finger at him before collecting the menus back up, "Oh you're nothing but trouble. Alright, baby, that'll be right up, just holla if you need anything." She walked back towards the kitchen shaking her head. "Ohh, he's bad!"

"If she only knew," Roxana muttered.

He turned to smile at her, "That word you said, 'cher', what does that mean? You called me it earlier as well."

His question was innocent but it turned her cheeks a cherry red that Dracula found very enjoyable.

"Oh it's just a, um, a term of endearment." She spoke quickly as if the more words she managed to squeeze in would save her from embarrassment. "But don't think on it, honestly, it's just habit. Memaw used to say it, along with her cribbage friends, and my old cooking instructor…It comes from 'cherie', the french word for 'dearest' or whatever."

She didn't appreciate how pleased he looked and he most definitely was. It was the little things, he mused silently, that made her squirm and fluster. Another piece to the puzzle he was starting to put together.

"You seem to be warming up to me quite quickly."

"Ever heard of 'Southern Hospitality'? Calling people babe or cher or honey is habitual because we have a friendly culture, nothing more, so don't get your hopes up, sweetie."

"I understand the social pleasantries, but that is beside the point." Dracula looked pointedly at their proximity in the booth. He was right, and she knew it, because who else in their right mind would willingly sit down and have brunch with an undead vampire warlord from the fourteenth century? Maybe she was crazy.

"Look, I don't know how to…be about everything. Seeing as this situation is a little bit out of my realm, I'm just going to be cautious and courteous lest I become a snack."

"I told you," The vampire huffed, "I'm not going to kill you yet. And besides, I wouldn't have you as a snack, no, my dear, you would be a full-on, fine-dining, four-course meal and I intend to make you last."

Her face deadpanned.

"Here you go, baby." The waitress chose the most opportune moment to arrive with the bloody mary. A godsend, truly. "I gave you an extra piece of bacon, sugar, in case y'all wanted to share."

With a not-very-subtle wink towards Dracula, she hobbled away again. Roxana rolled her eyes and immediately started gulping down half the beverage before munching the first sweetened slice of pig. "She's really laying it on thick, huh?"

"I can't help it that I'm irresistible."

"Oh I'm not so sure of that," She popped a pepper into her mouth. "I've been in your company for less than twenty-four hours and I can already tell you are insufferable."

"Roxana!" Dracula mocked gasped and placed his hand over his non-beating heart, garnering some attention from the nearby patrons, "You wound me."

"You'll survive, I'm sure." She polished off the rest of the drink and smiled widely at the noisy tourists. They immediately looked back down at their plates; the key was to always kill them with kindness. "Anyway, if you're finished with being a drama queen, please tell me more about this council and dinner and all that. We've been getting slightly off track."

The Count sighed and raked a hand through his hair, completely oblivious to the exchange, "Basically there is a peace treaty being put into place because apparently things are getting out of hand for the city. The mortals want accountability and the council is trying to solidify an agreement. And as far the dinner goes, I imagine there are going to be a few more people from Mr. Kendell's committee as well as the heads of Keres' council. We will all wine and dine, figuratively for the supernaturals, of course, we'll sign some papers and all the political nonsense, all while you graciously host us."

"And then it'll be over? I won't have to deal with any of this after that?"

"Are you already tiring of my company?" Dracula's brow crinkled upwards and made him akin to a large puppy dog, but she was not fooled. Without letting her answer, he heaved a sigh and continued. "Well, I'd imagine that afterward, at a later date, there will be a ball. Seeing as it should be around the time Mardi Gras starts to pick up, I believe it will be a grand affair. You will be invited, no doubt, Keres is nothing if not socially polite."

"Yeah, sure, that sounds safe." She was being sarcastic, but her interest piqued considerably. A gala for a supernatural and mortal peace treaty during Mardi Gras? Roxana would be lying if she said that wasn't the coolest thing she had ever heard of. Call it some sort of morbid fascination that seemed to be interred in her bones because she always did have an affinity towards dark and strange things.

"I'll admit, Keres can be a bit uptight and a tad pretentious, but let me tell you, that woman really knows how to throw a party!"

"What's the deal with you two anyway, y'all an item or something?"

"Why, are you jealous?" He smirked as she went to protest but cut her off with a lazy wave of his hand, "No, no, no, she is definitely not one of my brides."

That stopped Roxana in her tracks and she stared at him incredulously, "I'm sorry, did you say brides? Plural?"

"Yes." Dracula's brows rose innocently. "I never have more than three at a time."

"What the fu-?" She was cut off by a steaming plate placed in front of her face. The smell wafted up to her nose and she deeply inhaled the tantalizing scent, momentarily distracted from the beast across from her.

"Anything else, hun?" Where the waitress stood, Roxana could only see an angel sent down from the heavens.

"Another bloody and make it a double, please."

The woman nodded knowingly and was off again.

Roxana took a moment to stare at the beautiful dish and appreciate its display. The rose benedict was one of her favorite brunch items; the succulently poached egg perched on top of a fluffy and flaky biscuit baked to perfection, layered with fresh arugula, sliced tomatoes and avocados, a juicy alligator sausage link, and the homemade hollandaise sauce that was magnificent. It was all placed neatly over a bed of the cafe's famous rosemary grits.

Simply divine.

Dracula watched with intent as Roxana delicately used her knife to break open one of the eggs and the yolk oozed out over the side of the dish. With precise hands, she cut a piece that contained a little bit of everything and brought the fork to her mouth. As she bit down and closed her eyes, she let out a little moan that should not have affected him the way it did. He began to salivate as his eyes focused on how her tongue dipped out to lick the little bit left on the corner of her lip and they slowly drew downward towards her neck, where he could hear her heartbeat thump solidly beneath her flesh.

The cheery waitress came back with Roxana's drink; she thanked the older woman and took a large swig, her eyes closed briefly in happiness at how strongly poured the beverage was. Thank the gods for vodka, she thought gratefully and then brought her focus back to Dracula. "So are you saying you have three brides right now? That sounds exhausting. Honestly how could you have time to follow me around all day?"

"No, no, I'm currently in the market." He leaned close and spoke conspiratorially, "It's really not all that difficult, you see, they're fairly easy to control once put in their boxes."

"You're horrible."

"I'm joking," Dracula reclined back in his seat and laughed, "Haven't done that in a few hundred years. No, nowadays it's a bit more complex, isn't it?"

"Relationships?"

"If you want to call them that, sure." He said, watching her for a moment as she cut into the second egg with the same precision as the first. "I've had some difficulties acquiring the right bride."

"Maybe if you practiced a little respect and some monogamy, you might have more success." Roxana took a sip of water and then made a facial shrug, "Or if they're into polygamy, then that's fine. It's not my bag but to each their own. Though I will say, the whole box thing is really fucked up and you've definitely got to cut that shit out."

He found her candor endearing. "It is an attempt I'm making."

"Is that why you wasted the day stalking me?"

"I have an eternity. One day is insignificant and therefore cannot be wasted." As he spoke, one of his large hands waved about and emphasized his speech. "Besides I wasn't stalking, you passed by my window near the square and I had nothing better to do."

"You followed me all the way from there?!" The Count just shrugged and folded his hands together in his lap. She rolled her eyes, "You need to find yourself a hobby."

Roxana ate the last bite of her meal before polishing off the rest of her drink and set the empty glass down with a satisfied sigh. Her stomach was full and her head was beginning to enter the realm of that familiar warmth that only accompanied good liquor.

Again with impeccable service, the waitress swung by again to pick up the dirty dishes and asked if anything else was needed. Roxana ordered another double bloody to-go and the check. She then excused herself to go to the bathroom and Dracula sat back to observe his surroundings. Idle chatter and clinking utensils on plates filled filling the cafe, but the vampire could hear nothing more than a symphony of heartbeats all thumping in a wild orchestrated sonata. He was getting very hungry.

The Count took a deep breath and reminded himself to be patient. All good things come with time. His companion returned at the same time as the waitress and when Roxana grabbed the check, she noticed that Dracula had latched his claws onto the other side. "I'll take care of that."

"Oh no, you won't!"

He smirked as her eyes narrowed, "Oh yes, I will."

"You didn't even eat."

"And?"

"I pay my own way."

"I insist."

They both had leaned closer and closer, not willing to break eye-contact nor their vice grips on the bill. Dracula was incredibly amused. Roxana was not. The waitress's head bounced back and forth along with their verbal tennis match.

"I will make a scene." She all but growled, eyes narrowing.

"Please," He matched her tone, "I would love to see that."

A pause.

"Damn girl, just take the free meal!" The waitress decided to take the opportunity to cut in, "Give him a little lagniappe later, ya heard me? If you don't, well, sign me up, baby."

Needless to say, Roxana was not happy when she walked out of the cafe and stormed down the street. Dracula followed, looking as smug as ever with his hands in his pockets and a little grin on his face.

After a few blocks and a few more swigs from her cup, she finally let go of her pride and slowed to walk alongside him once more. The sun had begun to set, sending its red and orange hues across the city to cut in between streets and through windows. She loved this time of day. The refraction of the sun created a heady glow that felt like a soothing hug to one's soul.

"Where are we off to next?" Dracula looked down at her, noticing her shoulders weren't as rigid as they were when they left the restaurant.

"A nice lady in the bathroom told me about some little show down by the river, thought that sounded lovely."

He made a face, "Modern toilet etiquette is baffling."

"We were just washing our hands," Roxana laughed at the count's confused expression. "Though you're not wrong. A lot more goes on in bathrooms than just 'using the loo.'"

She mimicked his acquired accent and he was thrilled to see her back to her cheerful self. Until her eyes lit up with a curiosity that he was beginning to recognize and he could already tell where her mind was heading.

"Wait, do you -?"

"No."

"But I didn't-"

"No."

"Could you let me-?"

"No." He said, chuckling as she huffed in frustration. "I know what you're going to ask and the answer is no. I have no use for a toilet. Good thing too, apparently, because according to you, there are plenty of strange things that happen in those receptacles that I have no wish of engaging in."

"Eh, it's mostly people doing drugs. You're not missing much." They turned the corner, she brushed away some hair that blew in her face and took another sip. "Unless you're into drugs?"

Dracula grimaced, "Not particularly. It depends on the drug."

"How about alcohol?" She looked up at him and he shook his head no. "So why did you choose New Orleans? You do realize this is a party city, right?"

"Because I see that there is more to this city than what meets the eye." He spread his hands out wide, "Look around! New Orleans is a delicious cocktail of artists and scholars, fighters and doctors, saints and sinners - it is a plentiful orchard of every imaginable fruit and I would be remiss not to pluck the ripened morsels. The culture here promotes hedonism and I am simply embracing it."

He watched as she paused and looked thoughtfully a bush of jasmine flowers. There were hundreds of them lining the block and wafting around their fragrant aroma. She bent down to pluck a group of three and then turned towards him, walking up close, and tucking them gently in his breast pocket.

"What's this for?"

"Something sweet-smelling," She continued forward, "You're starting to stink up the neighborhood with your evil."

"It was a compliment of the highest form - I've actually become quite fond of this city!"

"Yeah? So stop eating its people!" Roxana called over her shoulder. Dracula laughed in disbelief; she definitely would be an interesting flavor and he was very eager to try.

Catching up to her quickly, they made their way across the quarter and over to the river. By the time they arrived, the night sky had crept in, chasing away the rest of daylight. A small crowd had gathered over by the steps along the riverbank and in the center were a couple of musicians with their small amplifiers; the band was jamming and the crowd was dancing away. The music was a bit too uptempo for Roxana's taste but she could appreciate that everyone was having a good time.

"Is this your style of music?" He asked as they sat down next to each other on a bench overlooking the impromptu show. She noticed how close he sat and how he positioned his body angled towards her with his arm draped behind her. Knowing he was going towards being incredibly invasive and unnerving, she was not about to admit defeat and refused to scoot back.

"No, I'm more of a blues or tragic rock 'n roll kind of gal. The sadder the better, I say."

"But you seem so…happy."

"Yeah, well, you seem like a gentleman, but we both know what you're really after here." She gave him a pointed look. "All of us wear masks, Mr. Balaur."

"Fair enough."

They sat for a while and watched the impromptu set until the sky grew darker and the city lights flickered awake. The heat of the sun disappeared along with it and brought in the chilly air once more. A swift reminder to Roxana that she only brought a thin coat. She chugged down the remainder of her drink, in hopes of creating some sort of liquor blanket, and pulled her jacket closer.

"As surprisingly nice this evening turned out to be, I need to get home. So I'm going to head out." She stood up and turned towards him.

"Would you like a ride?"

"No!" She said a little too loudly and then cleared her throat, blushing. "I mean, no that's fine, I'm just going take the streetcar."

"Nonsense, I can drive you, my car is close by."

"Seriously, I'm fine. Thank you, though."

"I'll accompany you to the streetcar then - and I won't take no for answer."

Roxana knew better than to even try and just spun on her heel, walking away and knowing that he would shortly keep up. They weaved back through the maze of the quarter towards the hub on Canal Street and maintained their amiable silence. Dracula kept a few steps distance from her and easily clung to the shadows. She thought it was strange, but made no comment. Must be his nature.

A few blocks from the bright and bustling main street, they were the only people walking around as they passed by a dimly lit parking garage. Where an attendant usually sat was only an empty booth and a single flickering light.

There was a flash of steel and suddenly a man appeared out from around the other side of the booth. He was wielding a knife. The guy pointed it at Roxana, not seeing Dracula in the darkness, and he gave her a grin that sent chills down her spine.

"Hey there, doll. Why don't we make this nice and easy?" His voice sounded like a kazoo made out of sandpaper; wheezy and scratchy and a tad too high-pitched.

Normally, this would be the moment she would grab her mace, spray, and run; but then she remembered the five-hundred-year-old genocidal bloodsucker creeping unseen behind this lunatic. Better the devil you know and all that.

"Hello."

The man jumped and pointed his weapon as Dracula materialized out of the shadows. "Where the fuck did you come from?"

"Wallachia."

"Bless you." Roxana couldn't stop the words from leaving her mouth and when he gave her an incredulous look, she just put a hand up in apology.

"Shut up, both of you, and give me what you've got." He waved the blade back and forth between the pair them. "Or I'll slice y'all right up!"

Dracula and Roxana exchanged looks. He took a deep breath and stepped towards the man. "Let's make a deal, hm? I'll give you what you want, if you give me what I want?"

"What? You crazy, old man?"

"No, no, not crazy, just a businessman." He smirked, "What do they say? Quid pro quo?"

"Well whatchu want then?"

"It's very simple, actually, I just need you to say 'yes'."

The man looked bewildered and faltered his grip a bit on the knife, "Why the fuck-?"

"Have you been drinking? On any drugs?"

"What're you a cop?

"No. I just don't like the taste." The count gave him a look and the man slowly shook his head. Compelled almost. "Good, now, back to business."

Dracula took another step closer and pulled out a rolled-up wad of money, raising his eyebrows and wagging it in the air. The guy gulped audibly, not able to take his eyes off of the prize cash.

"What…what did you want again?"

The vampire lowered his voice, "Just say 'yes'."

"…Yes?"

The tension was thick. Dracula smirked as he glanced over to see Roxana staring at them, her wide eyes with rapt attention. Oh he hoped she would enjoy the show. "That's good enough for me."

Frozen in horror, she watched as his eyes filled with a dark red, and his teeth extended to frightening lengths. He launched at the man with the knife and slapped the blade away, gripping the mortal effortlessly and latching his jaw around the tender neck. Sounds of hissing and slurping and growling battled the poor guy's cries of terror which bounced and echoed across the buildings.

She wasn't sure she could move even if she tried. Roxana just stood there and dumbly stared as Dracula drank his fill. After a few moments, she didn't know because time appeared to stand still, he looked to be finally sated. The count detached himself by brutally ripping out part of the muscle in the man's neck, making a show of spitting it across the sidewalk, and then tossed the body to the side like a useless rag doll. Even in the dark of the night, she could still see the smear of blood across his mouth and the pointy white teeth from his devilish grin.

He put the wad of money back in his pocket and pulled out a handkerchief to dab at his cheek, acting as if nothing ever happened. Noting her shock, he just rose a single brow, "What?"

"What?" She mumbled and then shook her head roughly, snapping herself out of the daze. "What?! What do you mean? The fuck was that?!"

"He said yes. Verbal consent."

"You have no concept of what consent actually is."

"Oh come on, he was going to stab you, I saved your life." He stepped towards her and she could clearly see the blood now, it even tainted his teeth. She could smell it.

"You're a monster."

Dracula took another step into her personal space. "That's a terrible way to show gratitude."

The image began to repeat in her mind of his teeth tearing so viciously into the flesh and the blood dripping from the count's chin as he rolled his eyes back in ecstasy. Over and over and over again.

He noticed she had paled significantly and got a glazed look in her eyes, "Are you alright? You're not looking so well."

She felt it churn in her stomach and claw up her throat, and without any attempt to stop the inevitable, Roxana promptly vomited all over Count Dracula's fancy suit.

Taglist:

@festering-queen​ @vissidarte213​ @moony691​ @torntaltos​ @allis143​ @apocalypsenowish​

[sailorchiron]

Merry Christmas @tasyfa !

I loved the prompts of sunlight, ribbons, and poetry!  I confess I forgot to check for your response to my anon ask...  I decided to do a moodboard of a bookshop au, and had so much fun with it that I actually wrote a fic to go with it!  I hope you have a happy holiday season filled with joy and Malex!  

Sunlight, Ribbons, and Poetry | Read on Ao3

When Michael Guerin parked his beat up truck in front of Chapter and Verse, he wasn’t really sure what he was doing, or what to expect. All he knew was that Isobel loved poetry, and he loved his sister, and he was determined to get her a better Christmas present than Max for once in his life.

Chapter and Verse was a popular book store downtown, next door to Uncommon Grounds, which was universally known to be the best coffee in town. According to the barista he’d unsuccessfully flirted with two weeks ago, it was because the owner had connections for an expensive Italian roast that was usually too pricey for small town tastes. Also according to the barista that turned out to have a boyfriend, Chapter and Verse was well known for carrying a wide selection of poetry as well as fiction and nonfiction, and for having antique and special editions as well as new books. Seemed like a no brainer to pop into the quaint store and grab something pretty for Iz, but there was a problem.

Michael knew absolutely nothing about poetry.

He had some vague, foggy memories about studying poetry in high school English, but math and science were his things, not poetry and literature. He had no idea what to get. None.

The bells on the door chimed cheerfully when he went in, and he had to admit that the store was absolutely charming, with sun streaming in the front window and tall, dark wood shelves crammed with colorful volumes. The scuffed wood floor was broken up by old oriental rugs, and the counter sporting the cash register was an antique relic of days gone by. Michael noticed a hand painted sign hanging from the ceiling pointing the way to Uncommon Grounds, and sure enough, there was a door connecting the two businesses that he’d never noticed before. He looked for other helpful ceiling signs, and followed the one to the back right corner labeled ‘Poetry.’

He walked up and down the aisles for a few bewildered minutes, completely out of his element, and not having a single clue what to get. Some of the clearly antique books were beautiful, but what if they were poems about like death or something? Isobel was a romantic and wouldn’t want depressing, morbid poetry. He was starting to get nervous about finding anything, and considering a Target gift card for Christmas, when he decided to find an employee to help him.

Aaaaand, didn’t see a single soul. In fact, it was strangely quiet in the store. Am I the only person in this entire building?

Michael was on the verge of just leaving when he spotted someone in a little alcove with a colorful rug and walked over. French doors were propped open into what was a little reading nook, and sitting on the floor with a cup of coffee and a book was the most beautiful man that Michael had ever seen. He just stared for a minute. Messy dark hair, a little attractive scruff, neck that was begging for his lips, elegant hands, a face you’d definitely write home to mama about. The gorgeous man had kicked off his shoes and a crumpled apron was on the floor next to him. He was engrossed in what he was reading and hadn’t noticed him standing there trying to keep his tongue in his head. “Um, excuse me?”

Michael had been unprepared for that pretty face and his jaw might have dropped open.

“Yes?”

Fuck, his voice is amazing. “Um, do you work here?”

The beautiful man raised an eyebrow and glanced at the apron...then the coffee.

“Oh, you’re on your break, sorry, I’m just completely lost.”

“It’s okay.” He stood up. “What are you looking for?”

“Romantic poetry?” He watched subtle signs of disappointment in the gorgeous clerk. “For my sister! She’s just a really romantic person and I think she’d like love poems.” He watched the man’s face brighten. “Maybe an antique or really pretty book?”

“Sure. I’m Alex, by the way.”

“Michael.” They kind of looked at each other for a minute. He was struck by just how pretty Alex’s dark eyes were.

Alex, for his part, was internally screaming. Who needed a lunch break when someone that sexy wanted help looking for a book? He’d been momentarily crushed by the request for love poems, but the hurried explanation that it was for a romantic sister led him to believe that Michael might be interested. He shook his head to break the tension. “What kind of things does she like? Just in general, not specific to poetry.”

“Um, flowers? Korean dramas, aesthetic photography, huge parties, girly clothes, and make up?”

“How old is she?” Alex laughed, amused by Michael’s exasperated tone.

“28.”

“I was totally picturing 16, okay, revising my poetry ideas.” He led Michael down a narrow aisle. “Does she have a boyfriend or girlfriend?”

“Not right now.”

“Hmm…” Alex pulled the step stool over to the shelf he wanted, cognizant of the fact that he’d been so taken by amber eyes and springy curls that he’d forgotten to put his shoes back on. “Does she like to make grand gestures?”

“Oh god, yes, that’s Isobel to a T.”

“Wordsworth.” He pulled out two books. “Antique or new edition? I have both for this collection.” He held out the old book, black with elegant silver scroll work next to a smaller paperback with a picture of the sky.

“Definitely the antique. What kind of poems are they?”

“Wordsworth basically started the Romantic movement in England. Here, let me read you a poem.

“The world is too much with us; late and soon, Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers — Little we see in Nature that is ours; We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon! This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon; The winds that will be howling at all hours, And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers; For this, for everything, we are out of tune; It moves us not. Great God! I’d rather be A Pagan suckled in a creed outworn; So might I, standing on this pleasant lea, Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn; Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea; Or hear old Triton blow his wreathèd horn.

“Not romantic like lovers, but romantic, like grand and expressive.”

Michael just stared, entranced by that beautiful voice reading poetry so passionately. “I love it.”

“There are other good ones, too. Here, hold this one.” Alex handed the book to Michael and stepped down before walking down the aisle. “This is another Romantic poet, Keats.

“Bright star! Would I were steadfast as thou art-- Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night, And watching, with eternal lids apart, Like Nature’s patient sleepless Eremite, The moving waters at their priestlike task Of pure ablution round earth’s human shores, Or gazing on the new soft fallen mask Of snow up on the mountains and the moors-- No--yet still steadfast, still unchangeable, Pillow’d upon my fair love’s ripening breast, To feel for ever its soft fall and swell, Awake for ever in a sweet unrest, Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath, And so live ever - or else swoon to death.”

“Uh, that’s dramatic.”

“Would your sister like it? Or is it too dramatic?”

“I think she’d like it, actually. She’s kinda dramatic herself.”

Alex laughed and handed the antique book, bound in red leather with faded gold lettering, into Michael’s careful hands. “Does she like Shakespeare? I just got a really nice edition of his sonnets and those are mostly romantic.”

“I have no idea, but I’m game.” Michael decided he’d basically follow Alex anywhere in the store for the chance to just bask in his presence.

The book was a new edition, not antique, but it was bound in deep rose leather with a fanciful design of roses in gold, pink, and green on the cover. The pages were gilded, and it had a ribbon bookmark. “Sonnet 116 is my favorite.”

“You have a favorite?” Michael blinked. He hadn’t considered that ordinary people had favorite sonnets.

“Well, yah, I’m in here all day selling books of poetry, some of it is bound to stick.”

Michael laughed softly. “What’s your favorite poem of all time?” Not that he’d know it, but he mostly wanted to keep talking to Alex until he could guide the conversation to exchanging phone numbers.

“That’s impossible to answer, because poetry is so dramatically different from era to era. That said, I like early American poetry more, like Walt Whitman and Emily Dickenson, than Romantic poetry.”

“I have to confess I’ve never heard of them. Or if I did, I totally forgot.”

Alex raised an eyebrow at him. “Here, I’ll read you a Whitman poem.” He walked back into the alcove where Michael had found him and picked up the battered paperback he’d left on the floor.

“PASSING stranger! You do not know how longingly I look upon you, You must be he I was seeking, or she I was seeking, (it comes to me, as of a dream,) I have somewhere surely lived a life of joy with you, All is recall’d as we flit by each other, fluid, affectionate, chaste, matured, You grew up with me, were a boy with me, or a girl with me, I ate with you, slept with you--your body has become not yours only, nor left my body mine only, You give me the pleasure of your eyes, face, flesh, as we pass--you take of my beard, breast, hands, in return, I am not to speak to you--I am to think of you when I sit alone, or wake at night alone, I am to wait--I do not doubt that I am to meet you again, I am to see to it that I do not lose you.”

“I really love that,” Michael admitted, touched by the words. “That’s what so much of life is, just passing by a stranger and wondering if he’s your soulmate.” He hoped that ‘he’ would ensure that Alex knew he was very interested in him. “It’s beautiful.”

Alex smiled, feeling a connection to Michael. “One of my favorites.” Michael really has the most beautiful eyes.

The door bells chiming broke the spell that was keeping their eyes locked. Alex realized that his break was probably long over, his apron was on the floor in the reading room, and he was in his socks. The last thing he wanted was to walk away from Michael. “Which book do you want to get?”

Michael blinked. “Um, I think I’ll get all three. It’s Christmas, she can have three pretty books.”

“Alright.” Alex started walking to the cash register. Now that there were other customers, he couldn’t just hang out with Michael, no matter how cute he was. “I keep forgetting it’s almost Christmas.”

“How can you forget?! There’s Christmas shit everywhere!”

Alex laughed. “I think it’s because my family doesn’t really do much. We don’t even have a tree.”

“Oh, that’s no fun.” Michael was hit with pure, genius inspiration. “We’re decorating our tree tonight, you should come over.”

“What, really? Wouldn’t that be awkward for your family?”

“No, man, the more the merrier. My family loves guests. Especially my sister.”

“I don’t know.” Alex was sorely tempted, he really wanted more time with Michael. “Hey, do you want me to gift wrap these? We have some really pretty wrapping paper and ribbons.”

“Oh, that would be fantastic.” He watched Alex slide behind the counter and start ringing up the books. None of the books had barcodes, they had handwritten labels that Alex was carefully removing. The wrapping paper was really pretty, it was deep blue and shiny with dark pinecones frosted with white glitter. Michael was impressed with Alex’s wrapping skills, he couldn’t do that well if he was given explicit instructions. The ribbons were red satin, and he stacked the three books and tied the long ribbon around all of them. “That looks beautiful.”

“Thanks,” Alex answered, compliment warming him.

Michael had to look away to keep from staring into Alex’s dark eyes, and noticed a rack of postcards with words on them. “What are these?”

“Oh, little poetry quotes. They’re hand lettered.”

“Are you an artist?” Michael smiled.

“Oh, no,” Alex denied, waving. “I’m not an artist, I didn’t do those. I’m a musician.”

“Really? I dabble in guitar.”

“I play, too.” Michael was getting more and more attractive.

Michael reached the decision that this was fate. “Hey, you’ve got glitter on your face, here.” He held out his hand and Alex leaned in for him to brush the sparkles off his cheek. His fingers lingered, and before he knew it, they were moving together, eyes slowly closing as their lips met in a sweet, sweet kiss.

Time slowed down and both Michael and Alex forgot it existed.

Until someone cleared their throat and they pulled apart, surprised that they’d gotten so lost in each other. Alex was immediately flustered, and Michael was grinning so wide that his face almost hurt.

Alex put the books on the counter. “I’m so sorry, I want to keep talking but I have to work,” he apologized. “Can I get your number?” He patted his body. “Fuck, my phone is in my apron.” Which was on the floor in the reading room. He grabbed one of the postcards and scrawled his number on the back. “Text me, I’d love to come over and decorate your tree.”

“I’ll see you tonight then.” He just smiled into Alex’s eyes until they both jumped when more throat clearing interrupted them. He grinned and winked at him, then headed out the front door with his festive package and a phone number.

In the truck, Michael looked at the postcard and immediately added Alex’s number to his phone. He sent a quick message of his name and a heart emoji, then flipped the card back over. It was a Walt Whitman quote.

“We were together. I forget the rest.”