#um anyways happy birthday to all my fellow gay people !!!!!

[newgroundstier]

fashionably late 2 pride month

[ailithnight]

Oof, four days and 2700 words later, I’ve finally finished writing this fic based off of @randomslasher‘s post here. Enjoy!

Title: Birthdays Word Count: 2734 Content Warnings: Um, slight angst? Mostly hurt/comfort.

Tagslist: @moose-squirrel05, @didsomeonesayprince, @readeatfightlove13, @anxious-vigil, @theamberrose97, @terminally-anxious

Virgil was pleasantly surprised to wake with the rare sensation of peace and contentment slowing the beat of his heart and keeping his breathing relaxed and even. His eyes strayed to the calendar pinned above his desk and a small smile graced his lips. It was his birthday. While all the sides were physiologically 29 just like Thomas, Virgil had officially formed on this day when Thomas was 8 years old. Were he a real person, Virgil would be 21 and now legally allowed to get drunk. He briefly considered the sensation of drunkenness and decided he didn’t care for it. Alcohol made you do stupid things and say stupid things and sometimes it made you overly emotional and just, no thanks. Virgil will stick to grape Gatorade in a wine glass while sitting fully clothed in a bubble bath. He’d probably be doing that tonight, after movie night of course. It was his own little birthday treat to himself.

Virgil mused over birthdays passed. He never really did much. The lights had barely tolerated him until recently, so it was no surprise they didn’t celebrate with him. And the darks… They weren’t necessarily horrible people. None of them were just inherently evil. But they did tend to live in moral shades of grey, often straying more towards the darker end of the spectrum than the light. More often than not, they caused more trouble than they did good and frequently made Virgil’s job harder. Especially the walking cactus. Ok, he wasn’t really a cactus. But the living embodiment of Thomas’s obsessiveness liked to wear bright green and gel his hair to sharp points in a dozen different directions. He was trying to look like an anime character. Virgil thought he looked like a cactus. When he kicked in, it was hard to get Thomas to get any work done, no matter how much anxiety he funneled into the man. It usually just ended up paralyzing Thomas with worries and that only drove him to sink further into mythical worlds in a vain effort to avoid his responsibilities. Inevitably, Virgil would have to go confront him. Confrontations with the darks usually ended in blood. Again, moral shades of grey. Not evil, but not really good either.

But despite their moral ambiguity, all of them agreed to give Virgil one present for his birthday. For one day a year, Virgil could live with the peace of mind that none of the darks would go around stirring trouble. There would be no confrontations, no blood and bruises, no need to protect Thomas from them. It wasn’t much, but Virgil didn’t mind. In fact, as far as Virgil knew, that was a normal birthday. It’s not like he had a frame of reference to say any different. Of course, Virgil knew when Patton, Roman, and Logan’s birthdays were. He had been informed in no uncertain terms to cause no trouble on those days, to which he happily complied. Even on Thomas’s birthday in years past, he spent those days holed up in his room, making himself as invisible as possible. And none of them had had a birthday since Virgil had been accepted, so he didn’t really know what was normal. He did kind of figure there would be something, since causing no trouble was just normal life for the lights. Still, going down that morning, Virgil didn’t have high expectations.

 “Good morning, Virgil!” Patton greeted cheerily as his dark strange son appeared in the kitchen. Patton was pleased to see a calm smile grace his son’s face.

“Morning, Dad,” Virgil responded with almost equal cheer, albeit in a much softer tone. Patton noticed how calm and happy Virgil seemed to be. It was a rare, but immensely joyous occasion. Patton wasn’t sure what could be causing the uplifted mood, but he wasn’t complaining. If there was one thing they had all learned about Virgil by now, pointing out changes in behavior was probably the quickest way to stop those changes. So, Patton kept his mouth closed. Logan and Roman must have both caught on as well.

“And how are you on this fine day, Green Gay?” Virgil snorted at the nickname.

“Pretty sure I’m purple. If you’re looking for green, talk to Obsession. But, I’m pretty good. How about you?”

“Glittery as ever.” Logan sighed.

“Roman, glittery is not an adjective to describe emotion.”

“It is if that’s how I feel.”

“You can’t feel glittery. It is like saying you feel shiny.”

Yep, that’s how I feel. Shiny and sparkly and glittery.” Virgil wasn’t bothering to hide his snickers at the light-hearted debate.

“Argue semantics later you two. Breakfast time!” Patton walked over with two plates, setting one in front of Logan and the other in front of Roman. Logan reached for the jar of Crofters but Roman flashed his hand forward and grabbed it first.

“Nu-uh. If I let you at it first, there won’t be any left for the rest of us.” Logan looked down, flushing slightly pink.

“That’s… fair.” Roman laughed, Patton and, surprising all of them, Virgil joined in. After a beat, Logan laughed as well. Patton went back to the stove to grab the other two plates as Virgil sat down.

“You go the extra strip of bacon today, Kiddo.” Patton set the happy pancake man in front of Virgil, whose grin seemed to stretch a bit wider.

“I love it. Thanks Pat.” Patton’s confusion was mounting, but he filed it away to think about later.

“My pleasure. Everyone dig in.” The sound of eating filled the kitchen.

 Logan had noticed Virgil’s odd behavior today and while it perplexed him, Logan didn’t want to risk making Virgil uncomfortable by pointing it out. But he did want to keep an eye on him, maybe decipher the cause without alerting Virgil. So, he grabbed a couple books from his shelf, one he had read before and one he had been meaning to loan Virgil anyway as he thought the anxious side would enjoy it. Then Logan went off in search of his fellow left brain.

Logan found Virgil in the recliner in the commons, listening to music with his eyes closed and looking so content, Logan almost didn’t want to disturb him. But it was made moot point anyway when Virgil opened one of his eyes to give Logan a quizzical look. Logan extended the hand holding the book for Virgil. Virgil removed his head phones and Logan took the opportunity to offer an explanation. “I wanted to loan this to you. It is a fascinating book I think you may thoroughly enjoy.” Virgil took the book gingerly, looking between it and Logan for a moment. Then a smile split his features.

“Thank you, Logan. I promise to take good very care of it. Thank you so much.” Logan nodded, not for a second doubting Virgil’s promise. He noted the similarities between Virgil’s behavior at this moment and his behavior at breakfast while Virgil put his head phones back on and leafed through the pages, that same smile sitting on his lips as if it were a permanent fixture now. Logan walked over to the sofa and sat down, opening his own book and beginning to read. Virgil began reading as well and they spent the afternoon like that, silently reading in each other’s company. Every now and then, Logan stole a glance at Virgil, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. While Logan couldn’t seem to discern the cause of Virgil’s elevated mood, he could at least deduce that it was genuine and was able to mentally cross off the less than pleasant theories he had developed.

 Roman was gleeful and excited. He and Thomas had had a most productive day together. Thomas was incredibly relaxed, which he confused the man until Roman recounted how calm and happy Virgil had been that morning. Thomas had asked why and, though Roman too wished to know and perhaps be able to replicate the event in the future, he did not have an answer, and so kept Thomas’s focus on the next Sanders Sides script. After the heavy weight of the last few videos, Roman was definitely feeling something lighter and happier. Maybe Christmas Caroling? The holiday was fast approaching. Yes, Roman liked that one. Of course, that wasn’t the only idea they had saved. Roman and Thomas made sure they had a sizable list that Thomas could run by Joan. But Roman really liked the idea of Sanders Sides Christmas Caroling video. He really hoped that would be the one Thomas and Joan settled on. Already, he was nearly bursting with ideas for it. Of course, they could wait. It was dinner, then movie time. And Roman knew exactly who should get to pick the film tonight.

“Virgil, why don’t you pick the movie?” The addressed side looked up from watching Patton make popcorn and gather drinks. Roman’s heart stuttered with the way Virgil’s whole face lit up with a smile. Roman could swear he looked like a kid on Christmas morning who just unwrapped their first present and found out it was exactly what he wanted.

“Hm… how about Lilo and Stitch?”

“A capital choice!” Roman boasted.

“Satisfactory.” Logan commented.

“Great choice, Kiddo!” Cheered Patton as he came in carrying a tray of snacks. Virgil’s smile grew. The movie passed mostly as per usual, Patton getting emotional, Logan mummering about scientific inaccuracies, Roman singing any time there was music (even if he was just singing the instrumental) and Virgil watching quietly enraptured, sometimes stealing glances at the other sides on the couch with that smile making his whole face look young and soft and innocent. When the movie ended, Roman was about to suggest another when Virgil stood and stretched.

“I’m turning in for the night guys. It was… it was a good day. Thanks. Try not to stay up all night. You know it keeps Thomas up. Good night.” Virgil was up the stairs before anyone could form a response. Roman was the first to speak.

“Does anyone have any idea what was up with Virgil today?” Patton shook his head and Logan opened his mouth to respond.

“Based on my observations, it seems Virgil was experiencing decreased levels of anxiety and increased levels of happiness. I have eliminated the possibilities that he is faking it or somehow intoxicated. I also doubt that this is the quote unquote ‘calm before the storm’ during a depressive episode as previous experience with Virgil in depressive episodes indicates he is usually less expressive and more reserved. I have considered the possibilities that he is better rested, better hydrated, or both. I also noticed a distinct lack of trouble from the others that might be playing into Virgil’s decreased anxiety, though how he would know that they were not up to something is beyond me. Then again, Virgil’s relationship with them is somewhat less tenuous then ours, so it is possible he knows something we are unaware of.” Logan’s response was a bit long winded, but Roman felt he got the gist of it.

“Basically, you don’t know, but it’s probably nothing bad.”

“Correct.”

“I guess as long as it’s nothing bad, we don’t really need to get involved, do we?” Patton asked. “I mean, he might have just been having an exceptionally good day. Maybe he had a good dream.”

“It is a possibility. But yes, I believe ‘butting in’ when Virgil has not indicated he wants us to know may be inefficient or even counter-productive. It is likely best that we leave well enough alone until there is evidence that we need to intervene for Thomas or Virgil’s well-being.

 Upstairs, Virgil had turned on some music, run his bath, and summoned his drink. He sank into the warm water with a contented sigh and a single thought in his mind. “Best Birthday Ever.”

 It was several weeks before the lights had any sort of answer to that one day of odd behavior from Virgil. They don’t even remember how the topic came up. The previous events became quickly over-shadowed by the new information that soon came to light. But somehow, a normal dinner conversation had turned to birthdays and Patton had oh so innocently asked, “Virgil, when is your birthday? I need to mark it on my calendar.” A perplexed expression crossed Virgil’s face.

“Like, 3 weeks ago?” The sound of eating ground to a halt.

“What?” Patton asked, emotion cracking his voice. “W-we missed it?”

“How could we not celebrate our dear Edge-Lord’s birthday?!” Roman bemoaned.

“Unacceptable,” Logan declared, “This oversight must be rectified.”

“Guys, wait,” Virgil called their attention, “We did celebrate, remember?” All eyes turned to him and Virgil felt anxiety creeping up the back of his neck. He looked down, partially alleviating the sensation. “I-I mean, Pat made me a p-pancake face and gave me the extra bacon. Logan, you- you loaned me a book. It was really good by the way. And Roman let me pick the movie. The others stayed out of trouble like they always do. And I got to relax in the bath. See? We celebrated. It was great. Easily the best birthday I’ve ever had.” Virgil had a small smile on his face as he recalled the day. But when he looked up again, the others had a range of expressions. Patton looked sad. Roman was incredulous. Logan looked skeptical. A pit began to open in Virgil’s stomach as he wondered if he had done something wrong. “What?”

“Virgil,” Logan breathed out. “Is that… your idea of a birthday celebration is a few kind acts and no trouble from the darks?”

“Yeah.” Virgil watched their expressions closely, the pit growing and anxiety twisting to despair. “Is that… wrong?” Silence hung in the kitchen for a moment. Suddenly,

“A BIRTHDAY IS SUPPOSED TO BE FESTIVE!” Roman shouted lividly, startling them all. Virgil flinched back from the sudden noise and a few tears slipped free of Patton’s eye lids.

“S-sorry. I d-didn’t, I don’t, I-” Roman’s expression softened as he listened to Virgil’s stuttered attempt at an apology. Patton got up and walked around the table to give him a hug.

“No. No, sweetie. You- you’ve not done anything wrong. It’s just, a birthday is supposed to be special. Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I don’t- It was special, Dad.” Patton’s hug did wonders to ease the fear and despair in Virgil’s chest, though the emotion was just replaced by immense confusion.

“Virgil,” Roman spoke much softer this time, pitching his voice to be low and calming. “We didn’t know. We didn’t know it was your birthday.”

“You didn’t?”

“No,” Logan stated. “Those were just, normal things, a normal day.”

“Oh.”

“It seems we still have much to learn about you Virgil. And as much left to teach you.” Logan looked to be contemplating something serious. Patton pulled back and looked into Virgil’s wide eyes with his own misty ones.

“A birthday should be a party,”

“With cake and presents!” Roman interrupted.

“It’s supposed to be a celebration of all past years and all the years to come. It is supposed to celebrate you for existing.” Virgil’s eyes began growing misty as well as Patton spoke. “We are so sorry, Kiddo. For ignoring you. For neglecting you. For not making sure you had a proper birthday celebration. You deserve so much more than you’ve gotten and we want to make sure you get it.” It’s times like these that reminds everyone that Patton is more than the happy emotions. The sadness in his voice, the guilt, and the anger Virgil knows isn’t pointed at him. He wants to reach out and comfort the father figure. So he does, both of them leaning into each other’s necks.

“It’s okay, Dad.” Virgil mumbles.

“No, it’s not. But it will be.” Patton speaks with fierce determination that sparks something calm and happy and hopeful inside of Virgil.

 Three days later, Virgil came down to the most elaborate set up he had ever seen in the commons. Even the darks had been dragged out of their respective lairs to join in the festivities. They looked awkward and out of place. It was obvious they had no clue what was going on. Patton made sure to get all of their birthdays too. No one’s birthday in the mindscape never went uncelebrated again.