#ultimately pointless and only makes one person at a time feel good about themselves for a hot minute

[lime-bloods]

I decided to take the plunge and look for responses to this update on Twitter, and was disappointed to find a lot of people expressing that they thought this episode was pointless trauma for trauma's sake, when I thought it communicated its point very effectively.

One of its main points of course is the truism that "recovery isn't linear". Vriska's echeladder at the end of the chapter symbolises this; not only does it include "regression roast" among its rungs, but it's the first echeladder thus far that Vriska has actually failed to complete by the end of the episode; Scratch expresses this point literally by shrinking Vriska down, reversing the literal growth Vriska has experienced over the course of page 666. Consequentially, the Doc Scratch chapter lacks any kind of catharsis at its conclusion, and as a result it does feel really awful to read, but the deliberate choice behind this is clear to see.

While cliches about the intricacies of recovery from trauma do not, in and of themselves, make for a particularly profound message, this chapter also more importantly gave us a clear vision of what Vriska needs to work on next in order to move on from this obstacle: her compulsion to constantly be acting, always moving forward, is in fact part of what holds her back.

This manifests itself most glaringly in Doc Scratch, who positions himself as an impulse that Vriska cannot ignore - echoing Hussie's commentary that "He's always there at the right moment to nudge people in the direction of doing the nasty thing [...] they already know they want to do." - with English removed from the picture, the threat Scratch poses is now simply the fleas he's left in Vriska's mind. No matter what she tries to "do over" within the Plot Point, the decisions she made in the past are still part of her life, and there's always the possibility that she will make decisions like those again. (there is nothing new in Paradox Space.) But from the beginning, Vriska's brash decisionmaking is also exactly what leads her into Scratch's parlor in the first place: she has an eternity in front of her to just spend time with the friends she's made amends with, if she wants to; but even when the challenge facing her is literally just growing and maturing as a person she tries to blaze ahead and take the quickest path through it. And Aradia foreshadows this in the first chapter when she warns that Vriska's attitude is defined by "direct acti0ns"; so long as she obsesses over cause and effect, the repeating patterns that shape her world and her life will always be in her blind spot. (Perhaps that's why she wears an infinity loop on her missing eye?)

This chapter also shakes things up in an important way by turning our understanding of Vriska's echeladder candle on its head. We've had the vague sense that it's been "burning down" to something since the first chapter, but with Gcatavros advising Vriska this week that she needs to slow down "sO YOU DON'T BURN OUT," it suddenly seems like the candle burning down isn't necessarily all a good thing. Her interaction with Scratch is filled with allusions to this; there's a "convenient timer" keeping track of Vriska's life in the Plot Point that she's not paying attention to because she's too busy looking forward, and he sees her off with a coded warning that her "Light" may soon run out just as it did when she was a child. Ultimately what this latest chapter has brought to the table is stakes; by demonstrating that it's still possible for Vriska to face losses on her journey through the inferno, we can no longer be so confident that the "Hell Tiers" have to be a straightforward "upgrade".

[melandrops]

The Magnus Archives Entities as Greek Gods

The Vast - Zeus

The all powerful, infinite cosmic force that is both the king of the gods and the fear of insignificance. The fear of falling, and of openness. Pray that when lightning strikes, you will not taste ozone on your tongue.

The Buried - Poseidon

The ocean could very well be a part of the Vast, but they are fundamentally opposed. The same sides of a coin, one side pewter the other side copper. Two kings that rule next to each other yet are complete opposites. Pray that his brutal storms do not swallow you whole, crushing you under the weight of his world.

The End - Hades

He is the one inevitability of the world. He waits, passive, for victims. The other gods squabble and bicker and play their games while he looks on from the Underworld and knows that he is the ultimate winner. It is pointless to hope that he will not claim you eventually. Pray that you will be contented when he does.

The Web - Athena

The goddess of strategy, of weaving and trickery and cunning. She once cursed a girl to become a spider for her insolence. Pray that she does not lay her marionette strings over you, for then you will never know free will again.

The Slaughter - Ares

The god of war, and the gleam of bloodshed in your eyes and the eyes of the person on the other end of the battlefield. Pray that the blood streaking your hands and face is not your own.

The Corruption - Aphrodite

She is love, and the unbecoming of it all. The deadly force that eats away at your soul and changes you into someone you don't recognize anymore. She whispers that she is the most good and right form of the world, but her kiss is made of rot. Pray that her love will not break you apart piece by piece.

The Eye - Apollo

The god of the sun, who sees all the occurs in the daylight. Prophecy, truth, and the goings on of the world are the way he idles his time away. Pray that you are not intriguing enough to catch his vicious interest.

The Lonely - Hestia

She is the goddess of the hearth, of warmth and of family. Yet it was she who was foisted out of Olympus to make way for Dionysus. She tends to a hearth with no visitors to warm themselves by it. Pray that she does not beckon you to join her by the empty fire.

The Stranger - Dionysus

His parties are the raucous screams in the night, and people who walk in will never walk out the same person. There will always be something a little bit off about them. Pray that when the wine touches your lips you will still recognize yourself the next morning.

The Desolation - Hephaestus

Ugly, marred and disfigured. His wife refuses to look at him. He burns with a rage that he cannot distinguish as self hatred or as loathing for the world he lives in. He toys with the fire in his forge and the burns are the only thing that bring him joy anymore. Pray that he does not look at you with that fiery hatred in his eyes.

The Hunt - Artemis

She hunts in the dead of night, armed by the protection of the moon. Occasionally she enlists help. But always, she will dedicate herself to the next hunt. Pray you are not next.

The Flesh - Prometheus

He built humans out of clay. He built them with imperfections they would see in the mirror and insecurities that feel like a gaping pit in their chest. The god of innovation is also a god who wants their passions to hurt. Pray that when he creates you, your imperfections do not swallow you whole.

The Spiral - Janus

Doors and transitions and new beginnings but also endings all rolled into one. Everything and anything but also nothing and no one. He is a two faced god of deception and lies, and you can never trust what either face tells you. Pray for truth, but there is no point.

The Dark - Nyx

She's always there. Waiting for Apollo to leave. You're not safe from her. No matter how much you try to convince yourself otherwise, the most animal part of your brain will always fear her. Pray that she smiles at you without teeth as she watches while you sleep.

The Extinction - Pan

He is the god of nature, and there is no length he will not go to in order to protect it. Mankind is but a blemish on the world. The wild, untamable forces of nature will conquer it eventually. Pray that you will be overlooked when it floods the cities and burns the crops.

[anyroads]

Really wanted to reblog a post about about the trans sports ban in the US and info to call senators, but since the OP is one of those users who blocks everyone who so much as breathes wrong near them, I can't. So I think I've hit my limit with the culture around blocking on tumblr.

I've been annoyed with the whole "you don't need a reason to block someone just do it" attitude on tumblr for a long time but I've seen other posts talking about it get dogpiled on and I have enough chronic illness and problems in my life as it is without adding to it. But man, this situation now? It's just stupid. It's self-defeating for all of us on here.

What I've wanted to write a post about is how on a site with such a large population of neurodiverse people it's ableist and just mean to indiscriminately block people. I'm not talking about blocking people who are actively mean or harassing other users, btw. I'm talking about users who just say, "eh I don't like this person's vibe" or who assume bad faith without cause and hit block instead of just moving on or asking for clarification. The OP of the post on the trans ban that I wanted to reblog blocked me because a few years ago they posted misinformation about something minor and I offered a correction as someone with experience in that field. Instead of considering what I offered or why, they blocked me - a friend later sent me a screenshot of OP saying in the notes that they blocked me because they thought I just wanted to show off (and look, I could go into why that's not true, but it doesn't matter - we had subjective experiences of an interaction that was, ultimately, innocuous, and could easily have been resolved).

This kind of "lalala I can't hear you, gonna block you" attitude is not only hurtful to others, but is ableist on a website where so many people have NDs that make communication challenging or difficult for them. It reinforces the experiences ND people have in aggressively neurotypical spaces where they aren't given the benefit of the doubt and constantly feel misunderstood and dismissed - people for whom part of tumblr's appeal is its openness to neurodiversity, who then experience the same kind of dismissal and rejection every time someone blocks them for not being able to express themselves in exactly the right way another user wants them to.

Blocking doesn't keep them off your feed, btw - as long as someone else reblogs their content you can still see it. They just can't comment on or reblog your posts or message you. Which is useful when someone is abusive, but pointless when someone just disagreed with you innocuously and you didn't like how it made you feel. That person doesn't even get a chance to clarify their meaning - they can see your content but they're shut out from your conversation. People on this site do this to autistic people daily, and then reblog posts about autism awareness. As an example of this kind of pointless behavior: I said nothing offensive or hurtful to the OP of the post I couldn't reblog today when they blocked me, they just didn't like what I said, assumed bad faith where there was none, and instead of taking a few seconds to check if their assumption was justified, blocked me like they've done with tons of others, as their reputation attests. And while I can't say it felt nice, I also haven't cared - until now, because I don't just want to reblog their post about this trans ban, I feel it's important and urgent to do so because it was a good post, and I know that because they're a popular user who blocks others with such ease and frequency, there are probably hundreds of tumblrs out there who also can't share it. And that actually hurts all of us.

This thing today actually brought up a much more important point: if you keep blocking people just because you can, then you significantly decrease the number of people who can share your content. And that matters, especially right now when that content is important information combating fascism and important to boost. We talk about the problem of too many factions on the left, and this is an example of it: tumblr users limiting the scope of their reach when trying to resist fascism because of how little they're willing to sit with the discomfort of having to try to figure out how to understand someone else, even someone whose perspective mostly aligns with theirs. Assuming bad faith and yelling at each other helps no one except fascists, because division is their best weapon and their base is cohesive. Blocking people on tumblr for not saying exactly what you want to hear just limits who can support you on posts that matter.

It's wrong that I can't reblog this post full of useful, important information about a trans ban that's going to be voted on in Congress in the U.S., just because several years ago the OP couldn't manage their emotional response to a helpful addition on their post. It's wrong that we keep telling people to just block indiscriminately and move on, and that if anyone challenges this idea they get dogpiled on. Yes, block fascists. Yes, block people who are actively hateful and harmful. But that's it. Every time a new flood of refugees from another platform comes here, we pass around posts about how the core of this site is reblogging and adding to each other's content - the idea of blocking indiscriminately goes direcetly against that. We can't keep limiting ourselves like this.

So I guess go search for posts on US Congress SB9 because apparently I can't help you until someone else who hasn't blocked me for a pointless reason posts as comprehensive a post that I can reblog.

[racke7]

The roleplayer

Some time ago, I was in the middle of playing Skyrim when I was struck with a story-idea.

See, Skyrim is inherently a "you will become an overpowered god unless you actively avoid it"-type of game. It might take some time to get there, depending on what skills you focus on, but even when you remove whole skill-trees from your build? You'll still be able to become way too strong.

Now, most Skyrim-player solves this by limiting themselves somehow (not crafting infinite-strong weapons, avoiding certain enchantments, not putting all of your leveling-points in health until nothing can hurt you, etc). And this works, because Skyrim lets you at least partially roleplay a character.

(For example: the Thieves Guild will always play out the same, regardless of what "type" of character you're roleplaying, but you CAN choose not to join the Thieves Guild with that specific character. And this is true of basically every single quest in the game.)

What this means is that (if you want to be "consistent") your character is likely to have personal reasons to not use these very specific skills that will make you incredibly overpowered. Or a good reason to avoid talking to the quest-giver of whatever questline you're hoping to avoid.

Whether those reasons be because they're "religiously opposed to magic" or because "they actually totally suck at magic, trust me" or because "they have a long-term injury that makes heavy-armor impossible to wear".

NOW, getting to the story-idea.

What if someone got isekai'd into their favorite game. And refused to break character?

As in, someone ended up in a world absolutely filled with useful exploits and powerful skills, and instead of saying "I will use these to become god" they go "my character would never use these, so I won't either".

A roleplayer who sticks to their role, even when people are actively trying to kill them. Who reacts to betrayal, not by how they feel about it, but by how their character would feel about it.

Like, "oh no, you betrayed me in this playthrough too. what a surprise" instead becomes "you were my brother!". But like... with this weird disassociating internal pause as they're making sure that they're in-character.

Would this be a horror-story? Eh. I mean, you could absolutely write it as a roleplayer so trapped in their own commitment to the bit that they're effectively a delusional maniac who's sacrificing the lives of innocent people "for the drama".

But at the same time, it could be a tragedy, of this person being so completely unable to drop their mask. To make their entire new life in this wonderful world that they love into a pantomime. Where their loved ones only love "the character" and the person behind the mask is making sure that it stays that way (for the immersion).

Or it could be a comedy, of watching this person be effectively handed game-breaking super-artifact after artifact, and just casually toss them off a cliff when nobody's watching "oops". Of knowing that they could pick up this one extra thing, and save themselves having to trek all the way back there later, only to refuse to pick it up "there's no way I'd know about that so..." and then trek through sleet and rain in order to backtrack for a completely pointless fucking reason.

Or it could just be a regular adventure-story, with a lot more focus on "I want this to be challenging and fun", instead of trying to "defeat the ultimate evil" or whatever. A shy person who uses their roleplaying to make friends, and then slowly comes out of their shell more and more as the story progresses.

Just... I think it could be interesting.

An isekai-character who is enthusiastically playing a role, instead of "living out their fantasies".

[selchwife]

this is not really relevant to the subject matter of this blog but this is kind of the place i usually feel more comfortable being weird and emotional so ✌️

for whatever reason today my mind got back on system discourse and i ended up checking out the tag. Super relieved that i no longer interact with that kind of dead end community and subject matter where it’s just the same like 12 people having the same highly charged stressful arguments in perpetuity.

it’s honestly stressful for me to even think about as subject matter bc every part of it is so fraught (this is one reason i have a pretty hard line about no endo stuff anywhere near me). it’s hard enough to have DID & come to terms with that on its own in totally like psych and trauma-focused spaces; it gets even harder when you are also exposed to a community that has something superficially similar to your issue except to them it’s fun and positive and your conflicts about your disability are entirely due to an internalized -ism vis a vis plural identity rather than like. bc your disability causes you suffering by the nature of the thing.

and i’ve definitely cooled down on it a lot now that i’m away from it. like, obviously everyone has the right to live and identify in ways i don’t get. there’s nothing wrong with claiming an experience that other people may not understand or believe. i think the only wrong part is when medical misinformation comes into the picture and when people with such identities try to pull CDDs into that umbrella (bc some people are ok with this but some are really not) or try to push themselves/that stuff into spaces solely for CDDs.

and i know some complexities arise bc some people with CDDs also have some investment in this stuff or feel they’re both but like. To me that’s why it’s important not to “cross the beams.” and i admittedly have a huge grudge bc for a long time I did not have access to good information about what was happening to me — the only explanations i could come up with were either like, tulpa/soulbonding shit or schizophrenia, neither of which were true and neither of which served to do anything but prolong the amount of time i didn’t have any way to tackle the real problem. which was that i was traumatized and didn’t recognize it or remember all of what happened.

it’s frustrating to me that it comes down to this idea of like, sort of a “who’s valid” thing for so many people. i don’t care whether non-trauma systems (and i don’t like this use of the term system, due to its basis in medical language, but that cat is way out of the bag) are Valid and ultimately can’t speak to that. not my job to dictate others’ experiences, hope they live their lives happily & safely. but the way they interact with plural identity is not particularly helpful or safe when applied to me as a traumatized person with a medical condition, and my conflicts and shame around my experience make it very fraught for me to even see this wildly disparate outlook in practice, so sharing spaces is just not safe. and on top of that, in the past these communities have in part contributed to further denial and confusion for me in providing this sort of “buffer” that allowed me to cling to that explanation. which is not entirely on them, but it was damaging enough that i need entirely away from it so that i can center myself in what is healthy & pertinent and not, like, denial of the problem.

it’s all pointless to mention anyway bc no matter what anyone says this particular discourse will probably keep going until the sun burns itself out, and as long as i simply don’t look at it and avoid spaces in which it’s likely to come up it pretty much ceases to be relevant to my life (i’m glad I got out!). but god sometimes the whole thing is frustrating to remember. what an absolute hellish mire. what a nightmare for everyone on every side, but ESPECIALLY for the people involved who are heavily traumatized.

[poeoliverwood]

A concept of a Scott Pilgrim spin off has been whirling in my mind ever since I saw the movie adaptation in College, and I’ve realised that there were some characters that were so irrelevant or were so completely pointless that they ultimately served as nothing more than a plot device, in which they were replaced or straight up retconned in future media, but there was one character that I thought could be a brilliant character if she was given a better role and something to be part of in the main storyline. While I was thinking that, I also created my own character who is supposed to be similar in dynamic with Scott as Shadow is to Sonic. A character that may have started in the same setting, but was given the short end of the stick, a big “screw you” that has tainted the way he views the world and the people around him.

The character I was thinking in my head I finally gave a name to:

Alex Birchwood

And the character that I thought of making more relevant is Hollie Hawkes, who is Kim Pine’s co worker and some-what friend who abandoned her trust by stealing her boyfriend, making her fall down back into a depressed state, yeah, not the best character, but I have a better way of writing her that doesn’t feel so cold-blooded, and it has to do with Alex.

Now, Hollie was never really given any proper personality, outside of being lazy, laid back, and doesn’t really think things through, but one detail I’ve noticed is that Kim is definitely not someone who’d be easy to work with during to her attitude, so maybe Hollie has some sort of resilience and can understand people in ways that they themselves wouldn’t think. That’s important because that plays a huge part in Alex’s story. Alex is similar to Kim, but unlike her who doesn’t really give a damn about anything, Alex is deep down one of the most caring and considerate people on the planet, and is willing to step himself down in favour of the people around him, even if he doesn’t get along with them. This is because Alex has been though a lot. Abusive Parents, absent hospital bed-bound step-parents, a sister he lost from suicide, and a broken heart of a woman he loved so dearly, he has a lot that goes on into his mind, but the biggest of them is guilt. He believes that it is all his fault and that he’ll have to do anything to make sure no one has to go through his pain or else he’s a waste of fresh air. He’s in his bargaining phase.

This doesn’t get properly resolved until later, but Hollie is able to see the good in him, even if he doesn’t see it in himself, and in a way, Hollie is a guiding light to his eternal darkness, and his character is the shadow that comes to form.

They start off as just friends, but rapidly, they form a bond stronger than a Coconut Crab’s grip on that poor pilot back around WW2(I do not condone this belief, this is just a joke I thought I’d make after searching up what has the strongest grip). It doesn’t just become romantic, sexual and soulful in a matter of a few days, it also comes completely out of the blue and is just the two of them, like soulmates, putting full trust in each other, and this quick, intimate relationship not only helped Alex feel more confident in himself, but he also was given some form of reason to continue on and be something beyond his past, he had Hollie, and he’ll protect her and the people she cares about until the heat death of the universe. It’s not the most realistic outcome, but honestly “realism” is just a way of people saying “I personally don’t think it should exist that way” when time and time again, our expectations were blown out of the window, like nobody back in the early 1900s could’ve ever predicted the technological advancements that brought us here today. In this world, the impossible can become possible, maybe in a few decades, maybe in a few years, maybe even a few months, we just don’t know.

I’ll continue this in another post.

[8bitbabii]

Unpopular opinion time: Voting (U.S. Edition).

Warning: This is an insanely long rant because I'm irritated. You've been warned for reading this entire essay if you did.

I'm based in the U.S., so I can't speak for other countries, however...

I don't know if it's just me, but I'm EXHAUSTED from hearing about this election (unwillingly or not) every five seconds. You see ads on TV, ads on YouTube, influencers telling you to vote, celebrities telling you to vote, people coming to your literal door to pressure you to vote...and it's just TIRING.

I understand reminding people that they have the ability to vote and that people are often pressured into voting because it's our "civic duty" to do so.

But...like...it literally doesn't matter? At least when you really realize what's going on?

Whether we vote or not, it's still going to be the same shit just with a different person in office. You never truly get what you want—no one does. The people in this country are so divided that no matter who wins, people will be upset. There are states where it's literally pointless to vote because it's not a swing state. So, for example, in the state of Florida, you know it's ALWAYS going to be red. If you vote blue, you'd realize your vote means literally nothing in that state. The same goes if you're in a state that typically votes blue. Voting really only "matters" in swing states and even then that still doesn't mean the person you voted for is going to get in office.

We vote to keep rich people in power, while they barely do anything for the average person because of geriatric people who've amassed a ton of power not wanting to give up their fucking seats in congress. All these things meant to help the average person ends up never coming to fruition because of filibusters.

These politicians make endless promises as if they're really going to do ANYTHING at all. I may not be the most informed person out there and correct me if I'm wrong...but Roe v. Wade was overturned during BIDEN'S presidency? Not Trump's, right? Kamala Harris promises to support women's rights and bodily autonomy, but what much can she do if her own BOSS can't even do anything?

People are literally struggling to make ends meet and yet here they are constantly LYING about how they're going to look out and help the American people. Both sides have been yapping about shit for YEARS and there's no real change on ANYTHING because the majority of people in office don't even know what Google is, let alone how to listen to issues that many Americans are facing.

You can pretend to work at McDonald's and curate a staged event to pretend like you're interacting with the average American. You can make TikToks with celebrities to "reach out to the young people" and pander to get people to vote for you. But, you're not really going to do anything.

There was a good comment where someone said that basically if you vote, you're consenting to the system as valid and you agree or accept whatever results come from it. On the other hand, if you don't vote, then you have a great moral argument to complain because you're having people impose themselves on you without your consent.

I never asked to be born and yet, I'm pressured to participate in a system that I don't want to be apart of. I'm not telling people not to vote. If you feel it's important, then you do you. I'm not telling anyone to not care about something they care about. What you do, how you live, and who you vote for are literally none of my business. Not voting is a choice too—especially when you feel neither candidate represents you or your beliefs.

But, I'm just tired of it being shoved down my throat when we already know the outcome regardless of who gets in or not.

I just am ultimately tired of hearing how my vote is somehow going to change the outcome of things or how I need to make my "voice be heard" when my opinion doesn't fucking matter because I'm literally a nobody to greater society. If any of us died today, the world will still be just as shitty as it was yesterday and the rich will continue getting richer.

I'm sorry for being so cynical, but that's how I've been feeling a lot lately. Everything feels like a pointless distraction and we're just twiddling our thumbs to run down the clock until it's our time to die. The world moves on. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Anyway. I can't wait for elections to be over so I can stop getting ads for it every damn time.

[wet-from-water-water-from-wet]

I have been trying to understand what it is a "chaser" is (in the context of dating trans women) and I am having some difficulty. I see people using the word a lot in a multitude of slightly different contexts and the word seems a little too wiggly for it's own good

to my understanding, the most common definition of a "chaser" I see is someone who is attracted to women with penises in a fetishistic manner, with a general air of "it's rude to fetishize a part of our bodies we don't want"

but like, clearly this isn't a perfect definition. plenty of trans women enjoy having penises, I am one of them. so does it only apply then to trans women who don't want to have them?

I have heard people say things along the lines of "people of this variety tend to not think of trans women as women and instead as femboys or 'sissy boymoders'", and I don't know how I feel about that.

I'm generally not a fan of claims of this variety linking an attraction or fetish to a specific negative behavior, it feels a little icky to do that to me. you can't control attraction, we know this, so I don't think it's fair to establish this sort of, what would you call it, association? prejudice?

this has a variety of other bad vibes to me as well. if you're asserting that the only reason you'd be attracted by a woman's penis is because you don't see her fully as a woman, you're associating attraction to penises as attraction to masculinity, and isn't that just a complicated way of saying that having a penis is an inherently masculine trait? I don't see my having a penis as masculine. it's fine for someone to feel that way about themselves I suppose, but a definition that hinges on it is an imperfect one.

beyond that even, if this were the problem, then it wouldn't make sense to use "chaser" to negatively refer to a variety of person, the actual bad thing would be the other thing that's only associated with the title, making the word "chaser" kind of pointless. just have a word for the thing that is actually supposed to be bad instead of an arbitrary extra layer of obfuscation.

I have heard people say that the problem lies in how it specifies an attraction to a difference between trans women and cis women, implying them to be fundamentally different somehow

thing is, I don't think it does imply that. if the fundamental difference is the presence of the penis, then that doesn't apply to trans women who don't have penises. hence, it's not actually implying a distinction between trans women and cis women, it's a distinction between women with penises and women without penises.

that's not a meaningless distinction the same way trans vs. cis is. sex with a woman with a penis will be different than sex with a woman without one, and that's the distinction being made here. I don't think that distinction is a necessarily transphobic one to make, even in the case that it's a specific fetishization of women with penises.

and I mean, cis women can have penises too if they really wanted them, right? it's certainly not a likely occurrence but trans women aren't the only kind that can have them

this may be where my understanding reaches a limit, as a demisexual I have a difficult time deliniating between what's supposed to count as "healthy" attraction and what is "unhealthy" or "superficial" attraction when it comes to these kinds of nonspecific public attractions

to me to have these kinds of fetishistic attractions directed towards me is cool I think. I enjoy it. makes me feel powerful. to me it is a perk of being a trans woman with a penis

ultimately my main gripe with the word chaser is that it boils down to "any kind of fetishization of women with penises", but that's not like. a problem, unless the woman in question doesn't want that. any and all of the above things can be rude and hurtful when directed at a woman who does not wish to have a penis, but that isn't all trans women, so such a universally applied word doesn't make sense I don't think.

the real issue is just one with boundaries innit, it's "don't fetishize things about people if they don't like that." all the extra stuff that chaser implies seems to obfuscate the actual point to me, arbitrarily demonizing attraction to trans women. being trans isn't all about misery

[alyjojo]

Next Major Life Change 🐛 September 2023 - Scorpio

What It Is: Begin Now ⏰, Embracing Enthusiasm 🥳, 5 Cups, 9 Pentacles

Your next big change is reuniting with family on a deeper level, and the downside of that is it’s probably very hard for you to do, because it’s taking a heartbreaking or difficult situation to bring you to this point in the first place…which you regret. The Empress here could be a spouse, your mother, grandmother, maybe your children. In some way you’ve left this person behind, in the past, and though your intuition has fired off messages like “you should call” or “tell people how you feel”, you remained guarded and kinda stubborn about it. You were having a good time, enjoying yourself, living your life. You thought…eventually I will. On what level that plays out for you, could be very intense. Or could be normal like the rest of us. Everyone isn’t always present all of the time, we all need reminders that life changes fast. You’re feeling this deeply right now, and though it’s sad for you, and you should honor those feelings, what you’re ultimately being led towards is very positive. If there is grieving, allow yourself to feel whatever you feel, in the moment. It’s a painful sort of growth process. Some stories are more painful than others, sending you all lots of love & hugs 💜

Why It’s Happening: The Sun, The Tower, 7 Cups, Knight of Swords

You’re recognizing how your lack of communication, clarity, or truth has caused a lot of confusion. Queen of Cups rev is extremely emotional, and these emotions didn’t seem to come out of you or even show themselves until you somehow lost the chance to express them in the first place - Death & 6 Wands shows failure, not getting what you wanted. Or you did want this, enthusiastically even, but now you don’t. Maybe you were hoping others would confess emotions or regrets towards you, without the need to reciprocate. Or maybe you just waited too long, that is a message that keeps repeating. If there was an alcohol or substance issue, that’s coming to light, and possibly being or has been overcome. You’re waking up to feelings you initially were asleep or numb to, possibly unaware of entirely until time passed. Unaware of time. We all do it 🙏

Advice: Page of Swords & 10 Pentacles

Now to the good stuff, you have a lot of heavy emotions (you’re Scorpio, of course you do), all of which are necessary and helping you to grow. It’s good to feel the things, but then let them go. You only knew what you knew in the moment, and you can’t be expected to know anymore than that. Other people too. Forgive yourself. Ace of Pentacles, Begin Now, and Embracing Enthusiasm are all showing you a fresh start, a brand new beginning to do things how you wish you would have done them before. Particularly with family, 10 Pentacles is being highlighted as your advice, and clarified by 6 Cups.

Talking to your family is the best way to bring out the best parts of you, that’s maybe been hidden away. The Scorpio that loved goldfish or collecting golf balls with grandpa, or Ninja Turtles 🐢 Embrace the way that those close to you bring out the happy inner child inside of you, and there’s no need to feel ashamed of being silly, joyful, or excited. You may have gotten stuck on a life path as a means to a destination…Death? That’s the destination. So go on the short road trips and plan the long ones, get together with people as often as you can, and do the things you always loved to do. Maybe your mom never bought you a Nerf gun, but you’re now an adult with adult money, and you’re gonna blow $100+ on the biggest Nerf gun you’ve ever seen…to surprise your grown sister & her kids with at the holidays. Idc if you’re 50, she’s still the younger/older sister and kinda full of herself right? Blast her 😈 Ride a horse. Race a car on a track. Whatever you like to do. Play is ageless, fun is healthy, judgement is subjective & pointless, and life is boring and sad without the experiences and people that make you laugh & smile the most. There will also be plenty of opportunities to have deep and meaningful conversations about the things that weigh you (all) down too, that’s just as important as the fun stuff, because communication is coming out as a big issue with you in the past. Good and bad. Happy and sad. Silly and serious. All of the things. Knowing each other deeply, again.

Ace of Pentacles is a seed of potential that grows, and lasts a long time, and it’s up to you to bring the happiness and joy back to your family, by allowing them to bring it out of you in the first place. Just by being around them 💜 But in some way, you control this narrative. You’re the one feeling this way, you’re the catalyst for change going forward. Your whole family could be stuck in the mundane, because again it’s all of us 💯 but it’s you getting the powerful spiritual awakening.

[campyvillain]

hey so you might wanna read this in full if you’ve been following me for a while

yknow. i’ve been holding off on confirming it until now but i’ve been reworking one of my past projects on here for… quite some time. like at least around 2 months. it’s what i’ve been mainly working on besides schoolwork whenever i go quiet for long periods of time for anyone curious

and when i mean reworking i mean like, almost completely reworking. aside from the character’s designs and personalities almost nothing is carried over from the original work, full disclosure

to be completely honest i was wracked with a lot of inner sadness and grief when i first made the initial parts of it earlier this year and it led to me always feeling the need to ramp up the stakes of it. idk why that was exactly. but it eventually led to me making something that was hard for me to continue making long term and something that’s extremely hard for me to look back on. i made it to cope with a personal tragedy, and when the tragedies in my life just stopped being so singular and kept piling up… i just couldn’t find it in me to make media that was so dire like that anymore. on top of that i made it during a period in my life where i was completely homeschooled so i had no social life outside of the people in my household and a very few select people online, all of which i am grateful for and who i love very much - but being secluded from any real world interaction like that, especially during such a bleak moment in my life messed me up kinda. all i had to do at that time was study and make stuff. and the stuff i was making wasn’t good for me, even though the stuff i was making for it was extremely high effort. i made entire songs. designed entire sprite sheets. did so much background design and spritework it’s not even funny. and even though it’s my most high effort project to date… i just can’t return to the mindset i made it in, not ever.

if you haven’t noticed i’ve been on a kick of making my works a lot more ‘silly and laid back’ lately, and frankly allowing myself to make things that are just unabashedly fun to make has made me fall in love with creating things again as redundant as that sounds. i was neglecting myself of the ability to create for any other reason than to purge something out of my head for so long that i forgot what making things for myself actually felt like, not the part of me that dreads going about my day but the part of me that wants to feel happy in spite of it all. i think allowing that side of myself to flourish has not only made me better, it’s made my art better. and now that i finally have that sort of inner peace when it comes to creating things i think i’m finally ready to return to that project, as different now as it may be than the project i initially showed to you all.

i know asking for understanding on the internet and especially as a content creator is a pointless task to some extent but i’m just going to warn you that you are not going to be getting a continuation of this project. this is a complete reboot. again, nothing much is going to get carried over except the characters and their designs themselves. but ultimately this is for the best. the story i’ve got this time around is one that’s really fun - at least it’s fun to write, and that’s all that counts - and it’s got a framing device that i personally find really appealing. it’s completely tonally different from the first iteration which is naturally going to turn people off, i know, but just know the story that i’m telling here is one that i take joy in telling. it’s one that i’m going to have a lot of fun with and i can’t wait to take you on for the ride if you so wish to get on it. it’s not gonna be coming for a little while longer, this is only to let you all know it’s even happening.

so, yeah.

that’s what’s been up with eptg LOL

[rosequartz-propaganda]

What are some common consequences of being neglected as a child? source: r/emotionalneglect

Pete Walker identifies neglect as the "core wound" in complex PTSD. He writes in Complex PTSD: From Surviving To Thriving,

"Growing up emotionally neglected is like nearly dying of thirst outside the fenced off fountain of a parent's warmth and interest. Emotional neglect makes children feel worthless, unlovable and excruciatingly empty. It leaves them with a hunger that gnaws deeply at the center of their being. They starve for human warmth and comfort."

Self esteem that is low, fragile or nearly non-existent: all forms of abuse and neglect make a child feel worthless and despondent and lead to self-blame, because when we are totally dependent on our parents we need to believe they are good in order to feel secure. This belief is upheld at the expense of our own boundaries and internal sense of self.

Pervasive sense of shame: a deeply ingrained sense that "I am bad" due to years of parents and caregivers avoiding closeness with us.

Little or no self-compassion: When we are not treated with compassion, it becomes very difficult to learn to have compassion for ourselves, especially in the midst of our own struggles and shortcomings. A lack of self-compassion leads to punishment and harsh criticism of ourselves along with not taking into account the difficulties caused by circumstances outside of our control.

Anxiety: frequent or constant fear and stress with no obvious outside cause, especially in social situations. Without being adequately shown in our childhoods how we belong in the world or being taught how to soothe ourselves we are left with a persistent sense that we are in danger.

Difficulty setting boundaries: Personal boundaries allow us to not make other people's problems our own, to distance ourselves from unfair criticism, and to assert our own rights and interests. When a child's boundaries are regularly invalidated or violated, they can grow up with a heavy sense of guilt about defending or defining themselves as their own separate beings.

Isolation: this can take the form of social withdrawal, having only superficial relationships, or avoiding emotional closeness with others. A lack of emotional connection, empathy, or trust can reinforce isolation since others may perceive us as being distant, aloof, or unavailable. This can in turn worsen our sense of shame, anxiety or under-development of social skills.

Refusing or avoiding help (counter-dependency): difficulty expressing one's needs and asking others for help and support, a tendency to do things by oneself to a degree that is harmful or limits one's growth, and feeling uncomfortable or 'trapped' in close relationships.

Codependency (the 'fawn' response): excessively relying on other people for approval and a sense of identity. This often takes the form of damaging self-sacrifice for the sake of others, putting others' needs above our own, and ignoring or suppressing our own needs.

Cognitive distortions: irrational beliefs and thought patterns that distort our perception. Emotional neglect often leads to cognitive distortions when a child uses their interactions with the very small but highly influential sample of people—their parents—in order to understand how new situations in life will unfold. As a result they can think in ways that, for example, lead to counterdependency ("If I try to rely on other people, I will be a disappointment / be a burden / get rejected.") Other examples of cognitive distortions include personalization ("this went wrong so something must be wrong with me"), over-generalization ("I'll never manage to do it"), or black and white thinking ("I have to do all of it or the whole thing will be a failure [which makes me a failure]"). Cognitive distortions are reinforced by the confirmation bias, our tendency to disregard information that contradicts our beliefs and instead only consider information that confirms them.

Learned helplessness: the conviction that one is unable and powerless to change one's situation. It causes us to accept situations we are dissatisfied with or harmed by, even though there often could be ways to effect change.

Perfectionism: the unconscious belief that having or showing any flaws will make others reject us. Pete Walker describes how perfectionism develops as a defense against feelings of abandonment that threatened to overwhelm us in childhood: "The child projects his hope for being accepted onto inner demands of self-perfection. ... In this way, the child becomes hyperaware of imperfections and strives to become flawless. Eventually she roots out the ultimate flaw–the mortal sin of wanting or asking for her parents' time or energy."

Difficulty with self-discipline: Neglect can leave us with a lack of impulse control or a weak ability to develop and maintain healthy habits. This often causes problems with completing necessary work or ending addictions, which in turn fuels very cruel self-criticism and digs us deeper into the depressive sense that we are defective or worthless. This consequence of emotional neglect calls for an especially tender and caring approach.

Addictions: to mood-altering substances, foods, or activities like working, watching television, sex or gambling. Gabor Maté, a Canadian physician who writes and speaks about the roots of addiction in childhood trauma, describes all addictions as attempts to get an experience of something like intimate connection in a way that feels safe. Addictions also serve to help us escape the ingrained sense that we are unlovable and to suppress emotional pain.

Numbness or detachment: spending many of our most formative years having to constantly avoid intense feelings because we had little or no help processing them creates internal walls between our conscious awareness and those deeper feelings. This leads to depression, especially after childhood ends and we have to function as independent adults.

Inability to talk about feelings (alexithymia): difficulty in identifying, understanding and communicating one's own feelings and emotional aspects of social interactions. It is sometimes described as a sense of emotional numbness or pervasive feelings of emptiness. It is evidenced by intellectualized or avoidant responses to emotion-related questions, by overly externally oriented thinking and by reduced emotional expression, both verbal and nonverbal.

Emptiness: an impoverished relationship with our internal selves which goes along with a general sense that life is pointless or meaningless.

[dathen]

Going to try to type up my “why both Jon and Martin think they kept their own promise during the TMA finale while thinking the other broke theirs” meta (tumblr ate it the first time but I am tryiNG AGAIN)

I’ve noticed since the end of TMA, because Martin is the only one who made the accusation of a broken promise, that’s generally taken as fact: in TMA epilogue fics Jon is made to apologize over and over again for it, and never brings up Martin’s promise.  At first I just thought it was him being in-character and non-confrontational, but the more I see it the more I realize that it’s just general fandom perception that Martin kept his promise and Jon broke his.

Meanwhile, I feel the truth is much more complex because of the vastly different perspectives of the characters themselves during the TMA finale.  It all comes down to whether other worlds count in the equation.

Martin’s promise

Martin:  When we defeat the Eye, the fears...what happens to you?

Jon:  Nothing good. [...]  Martin, when the time comes, I need you to promise me that you won’t try to stop me.

Martin:  I promise.  I love you, Jon.  But I’m not going to doom the world over it.

From Martin’s perspective, the danger other worlds would face is hypothetical and shouldn’t be counted in the equation.  He promised not to doom “the world”--speaking of the only world they’re aware of at this point.  The plan the group came up with in 199 was a win/win scenario for him: save this world, without needing to sacrifice Jon.  He gets to keep his promise and he gets to keep Jon.

However, from Jon’s perspective, the other worlds exist and matter, too.  The spirit of what he asked Martin to promise here wasn’t a technicality of “as long as this world is saved, it’s fine,” but if the cost of making things better is his own life, that Martin won’t stop him from paying it.  In Jon’s perspective, Martin admitted to going back on this promise in TMA 199:

Martin:  I try, but I can’t actually imagine ever making a decision that I knew meant losing you.

Here, Martin admits that in the end, what drove his decision was exactly what Jon asked him not to do: prioritize Jon’s life above all others.  He may not doom this world over it, but will risk dooming thousands of others.

Jon’s promise

While he went back on the plan decided in TMA 199, from Jon’s perspective, he kept the promise he made to Martin: 

Martin:  And you have to promise me you’re going to do everything in your power to live. That you’re not going to sacrifice yourself at the first opportunity, just because you feel guilty about what happened.

Martin is afraid that Jon is just looking for an opportunity to martyr himself.  Because worlds outside their own aren’t included in his equation, that’s the only explanation he can come up with for why Jon would be willing to become the Pupil--and the explanation he sticks with and insists on no matter how much Jon tries to explain.  As we hear in the finale, Martin believes Jon broke his promise, throwing his life away for no reason.

Meanwhile, from Jon’s perspective, he is going back on a plan that already betrayed him, but he isn’t throwing his life away for no reason: he’s protecting infinite worlds, foiling the Web, destroying once and for all the fears that caused so much torment, and shortening the hell this world has to suffer through to a single lifespan instead of a billion.  He feels desperately guilty, yes, but this is no empty self-destruction, no pointless martyrdom.

I feel the key to writing the conflict between them is to not hold up the loudest accusations as the Ultimate Truth.  Jon didn’t accuse Martin of breaking his promise, so Martin is rarely held accountable for it, and stories/meta where they survive that moment focus in on Jon as the only one who went back on their word.  I’m not saying that Jon has to be held up as the Correct One in this conflict, but that understanding and sympathizing with both perspectives is key to writing a well-balanced portrayal, even if you don’t personally agree with one of those perspectives.

[shkspr]

hi. on your post where you may or may not have ended on 'moffat is either your angel or your devil' did you have maybe an elaboration on that somewhere that i could possibly hear about. i'm very much a capaldi era stan and i've never tried to defend the matt smith era even though it had delightful moments sometimes so i wonder where that puts me. i'd love to hear your perspective on moffat as a person with your political perspective. -nicole

hi ok sorry i took so long to respond to this but i dont think you know how LOADED this question is for me but i am so happy to elaborate on that for you. first a few grains of salt to flavor your understanding of the whole situation: a. im unfairly biased against moffat bc im a davies stan and a tennant stan; b. i still very much enjoy and appreciate moffat era who for many reasons; and c. i hate moffat on a personal level far more than i could ever hate his work.

the thing is that its all always gonna be a bit mixed up bc i have to say a bunch of seemingly contradictory things in a row. for instance, a few moffat episodes are some of my absolute favorites of the rtd era, AND the show went way downhill when moffat took over, AND the really good episodes he wrote during the rtd era contained the seeds of his destruction.

like i made that post about the empty child/the doctor dances and it holds true for blink and thats about it bc the girl in the fireplace and silence in the library/forest of the dead are good but not nearly on the same level, and despite the fact that i like them at least nominally, they are also great examples of everything i hate about moffat and how he approached dw as a whole.

basically. doctor who is about people. there are many things about moffats tenure as showrunner that i think are a step up from rtd era who! actual gay people, for one! but i think that can likely be attributed mostly to an evolving Society as opposed to something inherent to him and his work, seeing as rtd is literally gay, and the existence of queer characters in moffats work doesnt mean the existence of good queer characters (ill give him bill but thats it!)

i have a few Primary Grievances with moffat and how he ran dw. all of them are things that got better with capaldi, but didnt go away. they are as follows:

moffat projects his own god complex onto the doctor

rtd era who had a doctor with a god complex. you cant ever be the doctor and not have a god complex. the problem with moffats era specifically is that the god complex was constant and unrepentant and was seen as a fundamental personality trait of the doctor rather than a demon he has to fight. he has the Momence where you feel bad for him, the Momence where he shows his humility or whatever and youre reminded that he doesnt want to be the lonely god, but those are just. moments. in a story where the doctor thinks hes the main character. rtd era doctor was aware that he wasnt the main character. he had to be an authority sometimes and he had to be the loner and he had to be sad about it, but he ultimately understood that he was expendable in a narrative sense.

this is how you get lines like “were the thin fat gay married anglican marines, why would we need names as well?” from the same show that gave you the gut punch moment at the end of midnight when they realize that nobody asked the hostess for her name. and on the one hand, thats a small sticking point, but on the other hand, its just one small example of the simple disregard that moffat has for humanity.

incidentally, this is a huge part of why sherlock sucked so bad: moffats main characters are special bc theyre so much bigger and better than all the normal people, and thats his downfall as a showrunner. he thinks that his audience wants fucking sheldon cooper when what they want is people.

like, ok. think of how many fantastic rtd era eps are based in the scenario “what if the doctor wasnt there? what if he was just out of commission for a bit?” and how those eps are the heart of the show!! bc theyre about people being people!! the thing is that all of the rtd era companions would have died for the doctor but he understood and the story understood that it wasnt about him.

this is like. nine sending rose home to save her life and sacrifice his own vs clara literally metaphysically entwining her existence w the doctor. ten also sending rose with her family to save her life vs river being raised from infancy to be obsessed w the doctor and then falling in love w him. martha leaving bc she values herself enough to make that decision vs amy being treated like a piece of meat.

and this is simultaneously a great callback to when i said that moffats episodes during the rtd era sometimes had the same problems as his show running (bc girl in the fireplace reeks of this), and a great segue into the next grievance.

moffat hates women

he hates women so fucking much. g-d, does steven moffat ever hate women. holy shit, he hates women. especially normal human women who prioritize their normal human lives on an equal or higher level than the doctor. moffat hated rose bc she wasnt special by his standards. the empty child/the doctor dances is the nicest he ever treated her, and she really didnt do much in those eps beyond a fuck ton of flirting.

girl in the fireplace is another shining example of this. youve got rose (who once again has another man to keep her busy, bc moffat doesnt think shes good enough for the doctor) sidelined for no reason only to be saved by the doctor at the last second or whatever. and then youve got reinette, who is pretty and powerful and special!

its just. moffat thinks that the doctor is as shallow and selfish as he is. thats why he thinks the doctor would stay in one place with reinette and not with rose. bc moffat is shallow and sees himself in the doctor and doesnt think he should have to settle for someone boring and normal.

not to mention rose met the doctor as an adult and chose to stay with him whereas reinette is. hm. introduced to the doctor as a child and grows up obsessed with him.

does that sound familiar? it should! bc it is also true of amy and river. and all of them are treated as viable romantic pairings. bc the only women who deserve the doctor are the ones whose entire existence revolves around him. which includes clara as well.

genuinely i think that at least on some level, not even necessarily consciously, that bill was a lesbian in part bc capaldi was too old to appeal to mainstream shippers. like twelve/clara is still a thing but not as universally appealing as eleven/clara but i am just spitballing. but i think they weighed the pros and cons of appealing to the woke crowd over the het shippers and found that gay companion was more profitable. anyway the point is to segue into the next point, which is that moffat hates permanent consequences.

moffat hates permanent consequences

steven moffat does not know how to kill a character. honestly it feels like hes doing it on purpose after a certain point, like he knows he has this habit and hes trying to riff on it to meme his own shit, but it doesnt work. it isnt funny and it isnt harmless, its bad writing.

the end of the doctor dances is so poignant and so meaningful and so fucking good bc its just this once! everybody lives, just this once! and then he does p much the same thing in forest of the dead - this one i could forgive, bc i do think that preserving those peoples consciousnesses did something for the doctor as a character, it wasnt completely meaningless. but everything after that kinda was.

rory died so many times its like. get a hobby lol. amy died at least once iirc but it was all a dream or something. clara died and was erased from the doctors memory. river was in prison and also died. bill? died. all of them sugarcoated or undone or ignored by the narrative to the point of having effectively no impact on the story. the point of a major character death is that its supposed to have a point. and you could argue that a piece of art could be making a point with a pointless death, ie. to put perspective on it and remind you that bad shit just happens, but with moffat the underlying message is always “i can do whatever i want, nothing is permanent or has lasting impact ever.”

basically, with moffat, tragedy exists to be undone. and this was a really brilliant, really wonderful thing in the doctor dances specifically bc it was the doctor clearly having seen his fair share of tragedy that couldnt be helped, now looking on his One Win with pride and delight bc he doesnt get wins like this! and then moffat proceeded to give him the same win over and over and over and over. nobody is ever dead. nobody is ever unable to be saved. and if they are, really truly dead and/or gone, then thats okay bc moffat has decided that [insert mitigating factor here]*

*the mitigating factor is usually some sort of computerized database of souls.

i can hear the moffat stans falling over themselves to remind me that amy and rory definitely died, and they did - after a long and happy life together, they died of old age. i dont consider that a character death any more than any other character choosing to permanently leave the tardis.

and its not just character deaths either, its like, everything. the destruction of gallifrey? never mind lol! character development? scrapped! the same episode four times? lets give it a fifth try and hope nobody notices. bc he doesnt know how to not make the doctor either an omnipotent savior or a self-pitying failure.

it is in nature of doctor who, i believe, for the doctor to win most of the time. like, it wouldnt be a very good show if he didnt win most of the time. but it also wouldnt be a very good show if he won all of the time. my point is that moffats doctor wins too often, and when he doesnt win, it feels empty and hollow rather than genuinely humbling, and you know hes not gonna grow from it pretty much at all.

so like. again, i like all of doctor who i enjoy all of it very much. i just think that steven moffat is a bad show runner and a decent writer at times. and it is frustrating. and im not here to convince or convert anyone im just living my truth. thank you for listening.

[nobodyfamousposts]

My-Crack-ulous: Aku-Maid

In which I am a horrible person...

No seriously. Don’t read this.

For @mermain123, for bringing up the cursed image that started this mess in the first place.

Mermain: i said i was suffering

Mermain: i didn't want you to make the internet suffer

Me: That sounds like the internet’s problem.

Also for @bloody-writes. You know why...   ; )

_________________________

Hawk Moth was a supervillain who had been terrorizing Paris for the better part of two years.

But no one could really argue that not all of his ideas have been good. Or well thought out. Or in any way sensible even.

Like the time he akumatized a baby.

Or the time he akumatized a girl to transform people into exact replicas of herself.

Or the fact he keeps akumatizing Mr. Ramier for going on 29 times at this point…

Or the other time he akumatized a baby…

Times that he destroyed Paris. Times that he nearly destroyed the world. Times that he gave people powers that were completely contradictory to the goals of getting the Miraculous he was after by erasing the heroes from existence or transforming them in ways that made the Miraculous inaccessible.

But none of his akumatizations had ever gotten him as much hate, caused as much misery, were were ultimately as pointless as this most recent incident.

Aku-maid.

It was known the instant she was akumatized. As soon as she was transformed, a wave of power enveloped the city. And within that wave, half of the people of Paris were transformed as well. 

…the male half.

Her power was to transform all the men of Paris. She didn’t even have a weapon or attack that did it, it just happened almost instantaneously. All men suddenly found themselves changed.

Or rather, their outfits…

“Ah!”

“What the hell—!?”

“I can’t get it off!”

One by one, every male in Paris suddenly found themselves in a much different state of attire. What had just been a normal day full of various styles and appearances had all suddenly become very…frilly.

“WHY AM I A MAID?!”

Much as implied her namesake, the akuma’s power involved transforming whatever any man was wearing into some variation of a maid outfit.

Every man.

All over Paris.

From Andre Bourgeois, who has refused to leave his office to make an official statement…

“ANDRE!” Audrey shouted, banging on the door. “Get out here this instant!”

“But, honey, I can’t be seen like this!”

To Roger Raincomprix, who has tried to continue his normal duties despite the…change of uniform…

“Stop in the name of the law!” Roger shouted, reaching into his pockets in an automatic reaction to try to get his handcuffs. While the dress he was wearing did still have pockets, the only item they procured was a cleaning rag, which was notably less threatening as the suspect in question stared for a moment before deciding to take off.

“HEY!”

And yes, even to…

“I’m a Macrophage!” Adrien gushed happily as he lifted his lengthy skirt to give a twirl.

…even to Adrien Agreste, who was apparently the only one to find anything pleasant about the current crisis.

Nino stared.

“Dude. Seriously?”

“I’ve always wanted to cosplay!”

Nino, having been long-since exposed to his friend’s deep love for anime in its many forms, at least knew what a Macrophage was. But even so, he couldn’t help but feel there was something odd about the way Adrien took to the long pale dress and cap.

Kim rested a hand on Nino’s shoulder. “Just let the guy enjoy this.”

“At least somebody is.” Nathaniel muttered bitterly as he tried to hide as behind his sketchbook. It was a futile attempt, of course, as he at most only covered his face, leaving the red dress, white apron with pockets, and knee-high boots on full display.

“I don’t understand how he can.” Max complained. He tugged at his own skirt in vain, looking at Adrien’s ankle-length ensemble enviously. The skirt was much shorter than he would have liked—reaching a couple inches above his thigh and almost seemed to be defying gravity to stay that way despite his attempts to get it to either flatten or otherwise lower. “I question the design choices.”

“But you look just like Misaki from Maid Sama! And Nathaniel looks like Lizbeth!” Adrien insisted. “It’s totally a cosplay!”

Max just stared incredulously. He was wearing a black dress with puffy sleeves that tapered off just shy of his elbow, white apron, a cap, and thigh-high black stockings and knee-high boots, it seemed Adrien did have a point.

Max, in all fairness, didn’t particularly care in favor of the problems that came with suddenly finding himself in a short dress, heels, and a corset.

“I just can’t peg where Kim or Nino’s outfits are from.” He continued, studying the outfits in question contemplatively. “But give me a little time! It’ll come to me!”

The boys had been having an afternoon hangout session in the park. No girls. No teachers. No Gabriel Agreste or bodyguards to whisk certain teen models away. It was supposed to be a normal non-drama-filled day.

…which was naturally when it became something less than normal and certainly more than drama-filled.

“I think I get why girls complain about this sort of thing now.” Kim said, looking at his shoes. “These heels are kind of uncomfortable…”

“Are you sure it’s the heels and not the flippers?” Nino asked, annoyed.

Sure enough, Kim was wearing flipper-heels. They were black and also had black ankle straps with a little bow on each. This strange footwear did seem to go with Kim’s talent in swimming, which was also emphasized by the ruffle maid swimsuit they matched with.

“Nah, it’s definitely the heels.” Kim insisted.

So this was what their all-boys’ afternoon had come to.

Kim was wobbling on unsteady heels.

Nathaniel groaned and kept his ever reddening face covered.

Max was questioning where they could procure jackets. Long jackets.

Adrien was giggling to himself and asking if they could do a full Cells at Work group cosplay.

And Nino paled, suddenly realizing something.

"Guys. Guys, we have to hide!"

"Why?" Kim asked. "It's annoying, but this akuma doesn't seem really dangerous."

"No, you don't get it!" Nino hissed. "If Alya catches us, we will NEVER live this down!"

Nathaniel looked over the edge of his sketchbook. “Alya wouldn’t actually post pictures of us to the Ladyblog, would she?”

A long pause followed.

The boys paled.

Except for Adrien, who turned to them with a gasp of excitement. “Do you think she would? We could do a group picture!”

All the other boys paled even more, looking downright ill.

And immediately took off running.

Or at least as well as they could with heels. None of them made it very far without tripping, stumbling, or simply struggling to stay upright as they still tried to move away from the area as quickly as the heels would allow.

“But what’s wrong with—?”

“JUST RUN, ADRIEN!”

“Who thought maid outfits with high heels was a good idea?! How can anyone be expected to clean in these things?

“I will never draw high heels on a super heroine again.”

“I can’t breathe! Who created corsets?! What objective does this achieve besides crushing one’s lungs?”

Nino groaned, still running. “I hope Hawk Moth is suffering as much as we are!”

_____________________

If Nino Lahiffe had the ability to break the fourth wall and peer into the events happening outside of his immediate vicinity, he would be happy to find this was actually the case.

And he would laugh.

Oh, how he would laugh.

“Sir…?”

“Don’t.” Came the dark growl from a very unhappy supervillain. “Don’t say anything, Nathalie..."

This was an akuma that impacted every male in Paris. Every male.

…even to Hawk Moth, himself.

“Why did this happen?”

It would appear that even Hawk Moth was not immune to Aku-Maid’s power as he had been similarly transformed. And unfortunately, due to the change, he could no longer access his Miraculous. The Butterfly broach had disappeared, having been transformed along with his outfit.

And his outfit had…actually left much to be desired.

Which was truthfully just a nice way of saying it was ugly.

Really, really ugly.

Normally the picture of stoicism, Nathalie had to pretend to cough to avoid reacting.

“Can’t you order the akuma to undo it?” She eventually was able to ask.

He lowered his head and closed his eyes in concentration. “No. It’s no good. I’ve lost the link!”

His eyes widened and he clutched his chest in a panic.

“Where is the Miraculous?!” Hawk Moth demanded, trying—and failing to pull at the tasteless dress. But as others across the city had already discovered, the clothes were magic and would not be removed or displaced. Not even the frock or the cap he now wore.

“Sir, you were transformed when you changed. It looks like the Butterfly Miraculous was transformed along with you.”

He froze, eyes widening in horror. “But that’s—”

He grasped at the empty place on his chest. Where once had been his lapel and pin now only had ruffles and a leathery texture. His mask remained in place, though it was now fully black except for the openings around his eyes and mouth, which were bordered with a lighter grey color. The material and outfit overall had a shine to it that could be found on any wetsuit.

To put it nicely: he looked atrocious.

To put it bluntly: he looked like some sort of BDSM role-player with a maid kink.

So it was fortunate, perhaps, that no one else in Paris would have to be subject to the sight.

Except Nathalie. Who was probably going to have nightmares.

Or a coronary from the laughter she was trying to hold back.

It was admittedly a bit hard to tell.

But it seemed she was handling the situation a bit better than Hawk Moth, despite the fact that the man was currently unable to see himself or the full extent of the monstrosity he now wore.

…this was probably for the best. Given the man’s fashion sense, there was really no telling whether he would be horrified or inspired, and nobody would want to find out.

“I can’t contact the akuma! And I can’t call it back!”

He moaned, covering his…already covered face with his hands. “I’ll never be taken seriously again!”

Nathalie resolutely held back from pointing out he was barely being taken seriously now.

“It’s…not that bad?” She tried. Not very well, but she tried.

Hawk Moth clutched his head in horror. “Unless Ladybug and Chat Noir can stop this akuma, we’re doomed!”

“Sir, it’s just an akuma that puts men in maid outfits. It’s really not that bad.”

“DOOOOOOMED!!!”

__________________________

The akuma, for her part, was unaware of her benefactor’s misery, too busy enjoying the abject misery of everyone else around her.

Nobody knew just what had set the girl off to get her akumatized in the first place. Her comments about men being “the eye-candy now” suggested an argument. The maid outfits involved suggested what the topic of the argument had been regarding.

To be honest, nobody had actually realized she was the akuma responsible. She did appear fairly normal by akuma terms, dressed in a seemingly authentic Victorian era dress more befitting as an authentic Lady’s Maid compared the frillier, lacier varieties that the men around her had suddenly found themselves in. What would normally have gotten her a few odds looks was mostly ignored in the face of the sudden change. Few even took notice of her dark purple skin or black hair. Or the fan in her hand.

“THAT’S RIGHT! SEE HOW YOU LIKE BEING OBJECTIFIED!”

The yelling…was a bit harder to miss.

It was the first thing that drew the attention of the three girls settled at the cafe.

The second thing was the various cries of horror as several of the men around them suddenly discovered their state of dress transformed into…well…dresses. Of a variety that made the little cafe appear more like a maid cafe than anything.

The third thing was the appearance of a familiar face running down the road, holding up his long white dress to make running easier as he looked for a place to hide.

Marinette stared.

“ADRIEN?!”

Adrien Agreste was running around in a long white and pale cream Victorian-era dress and cap, looking like Cinderella running from the ball. Except a maid.

A quick glance to her companions showed that both Alya and Kagami were similarly staring in befuddlement, so this was neither her imagination or a fever dream.

“Adrien? What’s going on?” Alya asked for everyone.

“It’s an akuma!” He replied, quickly. “She’s putting everybody into cosplay!”

“…cosplay?”

“Yeah!”

“…everybody?”

He paused, glancing around. “Well…all the guys, I think?”

Marinette stared.

“…Just that?” Alya asked, thankfully taking over while Marinette’s brain started to become aware that this WAS Adrien she was talking to. “She’s not doing anything else besides putting guys into…‘cosplays’?”

He blinked in confusion. “I…think so?”

“She isn’t…I don’t know…commanding you or anything?”

“Well, she hasn’t yet. Which, really, isn’t so bad for an akuma if you think about it.” He said with a frown before he noticed the strange look on Kagami’s face. “Kagami, are you okay?”

Kagami made a strangled sound.

“Marinette?”

Marinette pretended to choke on a drink from an empty glass to avoid speaking.

“Can I add to your order?” The waiter came by, seeming unconcerned by the ruckus or the act that he was now wearing a rather cutesy maid outfit the likes of which would be seen in a maid cafe in Japan.

“You don’t seem put off by this.” Alya pointed out, noting his relatively unfazed attitude compared to the panicking of the other men around them…or the gushing from Adrien.

The waiter took it in stride.

“It’s okay.” He replied blankly. “I’m already dead inside.”

“Oh.”

He turned to Kagami. “Do you need anything else, Miss?”

Kagami was still staring at Adrien, blushing furiously.

“I think I have a problem.”

“You mean a kink?”

“A. Problem.” She spoke through gritted teeth.

“Story of my life.” The waiter replied as he refilled her glass of water, either unaware or uncaring of the specific nature of her trouble.

Alya gasped in sudden realization. “Wait! If this is happening here then…” She turned to Adrien. “Where were Nino and the boys?” He blinked, curious. “Oh, they decided to head home. Why?”

An almost sinister smirk formed on Alya’s face. One that would have anyone it was directed at cowering in fear. And strong enough to be felt from several blocks away.

Unbeknownst to them, Nino felt that smirk like a trail of cold fingers down his back, and promptly threw himself into his room and slammed the door shut behind him.

As if she sensed this, Alya slammed several bills on the table and dashed out the door.

“GOTTA GO!”

Realizing an akuma was about, Marinette was right on her heels. She found a nearby alleyway and immediately prepared to transform and face this latest threat.

“Oh my god. OH MY GOD.” She broke down, letting out the laughter she’d been trying so hard to hold in. “He’s a dork! The boy I’m crushing on is a complete DORK who is in to cosplaying! He thinks maid outfits are COSPLAY!”

…or she would be.

“And here I’ve been driving myself nuts with anxiety over just asking him out and he doesn’t even—”

Any minute now…

“Marinette!” Tikki hissed. “You need to stop the akuma!”

“Can’t I just take a picture first?”

“MARINETTE!”

“Oh fine…”

_____________________

Luka didn’t realize anything had happened. He felt a bit off balanced for a moment, and a bit colder, but attributed that to being on the Liberty. So he simply shifted his stance to be a bit more steady and continued playing. It wasn’t until the drum stopped that he realized something was actually wrong.

The look of shock from Mylene and the following shriek from Ivan cemented it.

He spun around, not sure what could have elicited such a cry from his fellow bandmate. And at first, he couldn’t really tell what had happened. Ivan was crouched behind the drum set, covering his face with his hands and trembling in what appeared to be mortification.

Then he noticed the mobcap on Ivan’s head, which he was pretty sure hadn’t been there before. And Ivan’s shirt seemed distinctly…fluffier and frillier than he remembered seeing a few minutes ago. He tried to move closer to offer help, only for his own balance to be off. And when he looked down…

Oh.

The dress was new.

As were the stockings.

And the notably thinner and sleeker heels on his boots.

He hummed to himself, considering the change.

“Akuma?” Juleka asked him.

“Most likely.” He replied.

Mylene had rushed up to their practice stage and to Ivan’s side, even as he moaned for her to not look at him. The poor guy was completely red in embarrassment. Seeing how upset he was, the other three had backed away, leaving Mylene to try to help her boyfriend.

“Luka, are you okay?” Rose asked worriedly, trying to respect Ivan’s need for space while also checking in on their other effected bandmate.

“I’m fine. It was just a surprise at first.” He replied.

It wasn’t every day that you suddenly found yourself in a maid outfit, after all. It was a simple outfit. White off the shoulder puffy sleeves with black frills. A black tube skirt. White apron. And…he reached to his neck where a weight was, feeling a choker.

Huh…

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

Honestly, he could be in worse.

Rose seemed surprised at that. “Really? Even with those shoes?”

He looked down at the shoes in question. The boots were his style—surprisingly, given it was an akuma. The higher heels were definitely different from his norm, and clearly what Rose was referring to. In any other circumstances, she would be right.

But...

Luka smiled, shifting his stance and resting a hand on his hip. “Well, someone had to teach Jules to walk in heels. And I couldn’t show her if I didn’t know how myself.

Juleka huffed. “Don’t say that like you didn’t enjoy playing dress up.”

Luka merely curtsied, not only showing off more of his slightly ripped and punk-looking fishnet stockings, but almost proudly displaying his ability to move fluently in heels.

Rose appropriately “oo-ed” and “aah-ed” at his display. Juleka merely shook her head and smiled. Ivan was still recovering from his panic attack and had resolutely refused to come out from behind the drums, despite Mylene’s reassurances.

“So it has to be an akuma, right?” Rose asked.

“If it is, I want a picture or two, at least.” Juleka muttered as she admired Luka’s outfit, mumbling about commissioning Marinette to recreate it in her size. She hadn’t known maids could come in this style.

Mylene nodded from her place at Ivan’s side. “Though it seems rather fortunate if this is all the akuma is doing.”

“We don’t know if that is it, though.” Luka warned. “For all we know, there could be some other ability she has if she catches us. It would probably be safer if we hid out inside until this is over.”

The others agreed. And Anarka, bless her soul, actually came up with a large blanket for Ivan to wrap himself in to preserve his dignity. Then she and Mylene helped the taller teen to safely relocate to inside. Much like Luka, Ivan’s shoes had changed, but he was substantially less able to maneuver in them. And no amount of effort or force on his part could seem to separate the heels from his feet.

Once he and the others were inside, Luka moved to follow. He hesitated, however, at the sound of something landing behind him.

“Viperion? We’ll need your help.”

He turned to see Ladybug standing tall. And was that perhaps a hint of blush on her face?

Oh. 

A shame.

It looked like Juleka wouldn’t be getting her pictures, after all...

_____________________

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

He shuddered, backing away from the door as far as possible.

“Ninoooooo…”

It was a fight for survival.

“C’mon, Nino. Just open the door.”

The survival of his dignity, but still!

He’d lost track of the others and immediately rushed home and to the safety of his room. His room, which he could lock and hide away in until this all blew over.

“I have a key!” Came Chris’s voice. “Somewhere…”

“Give it and I won’t take any pictures of you.”

“Deal!”

His room, which his traitorous little brother was willing to allow the enemy entry into.

Under any normal circumstances, he wouldn’t be this desperate. But if Alya caught him like this…

Black dress. Puffy at the shoulder, sleeves that extended to his wrists and were bound by white cuffs. A white smock tied back with a white ribbon. White bow at the neck and white frills along the bottom of the dress?

Oh yeah…Alya would never let this go…

He knew he shouldn’t have gotten into all those anime Adrien pushed him into! So what if the maids were cute? And sure, he’d admit he's had a thought or two of Alya in such attire...

But how was he supposed to know Alya had such thoughts as well? And in the complete opposite direction! Clearly this was the akuma’s magic punishing him!

Nino looked to his window.

It would be a long fall, but it was his only escape.

But would the broken legs be worth it when Alya would soon figure out what he did and be able to catch up to him easily?

Maybe he could try to climb up instead…but in these heels? It was suicide!

“Fufufu!”

…screw it. 

He opened up his window, only to meet a new pair of eyes.

Ladybug stared in surprise from her place at his windowsill, a certain box in hand.

“…hi?”

“Oh thank god!” He exclaimed. He took her by her shoulders, half leaning out and half pulling her in. “Alya’s insisting on taking pictures! Please tell me you have my Miraculous with you!”

“Actually, about that—”

“I don’t care! I’ll do anything! Just please—SAVE ME!”

Ladybug looked back behind her to a distant rooftop and the other allies she’d left behind.

The sound of a key jingling could be heard and Nino stared up at her, pleadingly.

Well, she could never resist the eyes…

By the time they’d gotten the door open, the room was empty.

Nino was gone.

_____________________

Six heroes stood assembled.

Ladybug.

Chat Noir.

Carapace.

Viperion.

King Monkey.

Pegasus.

Six heroes.

Five of whom were male.

And…still wearing some semblance of feminine maid-like outfits.

Ladybug wasn’t sure if she should be impressed or worried.

“What the hell?! I thought the Miraculous were supposed to change us into our hero suits?” Nino groused.

Contrary to his hopes and expectations, using the Miraculous had not transformed him into his normal Carapace look, but had rather simply given him a different outfit. The dress itself was green and had a turtle shell pattern, while the apron and waist belts were a brown color. The bowknot around his neck was a dark green and a brown to match the apron. He wore stockings. And to his very limited relief, his shoes were flats instead of heels.

“Well, at least this skirt is longer.” Pegasus said, now wearing a dark brown blouse and bicycle skirt. The skirt went to just above his ankles, for which he was grateful. But this seemed to be countered by the increase of height to his heels.

Plus no corset. The outfit was still fit tightly and not very comfortable, but at least he could breathe now.

“Though I believe we’re getting away from maid-wear now.” Chat said, conversationally.

Pegasus gave him a flat look. “I’m not complaining.”

If Chat had witnessed his earlier ensemble, surely he would understand.

King Monkey, for his part, seemed somewhat appeased with his Miraculous suit. It was a notably more Eastern style of dress, appearing more like robes worn by palace servants. He wore a light brown waistcoat with wide sleeves over a blouse and a wrap-around skirt. It looked heavy, but Kim seemed to have no trouble with it. Maybe it was made of a lighter material…?

And Viperion’s dress was different in style as well. Whereas his maid outfit as Luka had been more punk, this was more sleek. Wearing a green sleeveless dress and white smock, as well as what appeared to be a green corset. The dress had a slit at the sides, giving more maneuverability for his legs…as well as more show, given the appearance of a garter belt and stockings. His shoes were high heeled but including a beautiful snake design that wrapped around his ankles. To finish it off, rather than remain bare, his arms were covered in what appeared to be loose green sleeves that started at his elbows and extended to his wrists.

…maybe a picture or two wouldn’t hurt? Or three? Because the amount of details on these outfits were amazing and she was just brimming with ideas now…

Ladybug broke out of her musings when someone tugged on her shoulder to get her attention.

It was Chat. Chat who, much like the other heroes, as dressed in a fantastical outfit. Though a maid outfit, it was definitely more cat-themed with a giant paw-like gloves covering his hands, a paw print on his apron, and bow and bell on his tail which rang as he shifted.

What material was that made of, anyway? She kind of wanted to give it a feel and see if she could find something to compare it to. Maybe a quick sketch?

Oh. Right.

Akuma.

Maybe if she was lucky, they could finish this quickly so she could rush back home and take notes while she still had the ideas bouncing in her brain.

…maybe someone would have gotten pictures by then…?

“Ladybug?” Chat whispered, snapping her back to reality.

“Yes?”

Chat frowned in concern. “Is the Guardian okay with this?”

Ladybug froze.

“PSST! Ladybug!” Came a voice from a nearby rooftop, drawing her attention.

“Master Fu?”

“Ladybug! Here’s the Miracle Box. Take as many allies as you can and resolve this as soon as possible!”

“Master? Are…you hiding in a box?”

“No questions! Just go!”

“…he’s fine.”

Chat seemed uncertain, but decided not to pry.

“Let’s just split up and find the akuma.” Ladybug said. “But don’t engage until we’re all together!”

With that, the six split into three groups, with Chat and Carapace going one way and King Monkey and Pegasus going another, leaving Ladybug and Viperion searching together with the former trying not to get caught stealing peeks at the latter.

“Is something wrong?” He asked with a smile.

…trying. The key word was trying not to get caught.

“No! Nothing!” She replied quickly. “I’m just…surprised that you can still move so quickly in those heels.”

“I’ve had practice.” He explained, still smiling. He even lifted one leg behind him, managing to stand perfectly balanced even on one leg in heels.

“I…see.”

Part of her wanted very much to laugh. It was the same part that had found this entire day ridiculous. The other part of her was her inner artist at work and really wanted to make a few sketches inspired from the presented outfits. Like Viperion’s sleeves…and those shoes with a snake coil wrapping around the ankle…

“Ladybug!”

Gaah! Focus!

She turned towards the shout to find King Monkey and Pegasus stumbling towards her.

Her fingers twitched. She ignored it.

“We found the akuma.” King Monkey reported. “She doesn’t seem to be doing anything. Just…kind or roaming around.”

“And laughing.” Pegasus added bitterly. “She appears to be doing a lot of that.”

“How’s THAT for ‘doll them up’?” Came a shout from street level. “HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, HUH?!”

As if on cue…

Ladybug and the others peeked over the edge of the roof.

“Has she displayed any other powers?” She asked.

“No.” Pegasus replied. “From what we could see, her power has already been activated to…obvious effect.” He hesitated, resolutely avoiding mentioning his new outfit or the indignity he’d already suffered. “She has only been laughing. And tripping the occasional person while searching for someone in particular—possibly the one responsible for her ire.”

Ladybug nodded. “At least she’s distracted and doesn’t know we’re here. We just need a plan of attack before we try to fight her.”

“No problem!” King Monkey said with a grin as he reached for his weapon. “We can just do a head on attack with our weapons and—”

They stared.

In place of his staff was a broom. A normal cleaning broom.

They sent cautious glances to each other before they checked their own inventory.

Said inventory consisted of a broom, a bucket, and a feather duster.

“I believe that constitutes as a problem.” Pegasus stated worriedly.

“That’s no fair!” King Monkey exclaimed. “Adrien was able to summon a machete!”

Ladybug blanched at that. “A what?!”

Pegasus pushed up his glasses. “I believe it’s a component of his…‘cosplay’?”

“Pfft!” Ladybug covered her mouth with her hand.

“Ladybug?”

“I-it’s nothing!” She replied hurriedly.

Viperion raised his eyebrow at her but didn’t comment.

King Monkey at least seemed to take it in stride.

“Now we just need a plan for attack!”

“With what?!” Pegasus questioned, waving the feather duster in frustration. “Our weapons don’t work!”

“More like our weapons aren’t actually weapons.” Viperion said, considering his bucket.

“I could smack her.” King Monkey offered, holding up his broom. “Maybe your feather duster has dust on it and could make her sneeze?”

Pegasus gave him a flat look.

“I think the broom is the best weapon we have right now.”

“Don’t knock a bucket!” King Monkey commanded, resolutely. “I got one stick on my head one time and it took hours to get it off! Buckets are evil, man!”

Pegasus sighed and rubbed his head. “It concerns me that you’re the second person I know whom that has happened to.”

Ladybug coughed, discretely trying to draw attention off that particular subject lest identities be at risk. “Anyway, I think I have a plan...”

______________________

To be honest, it wasn’t that difficult of an akuma. Especially not with six of them teaming up against it.

Akumaid truly see to have no ability other than the initial one of transforming what any male in Paris was wearing into something embarrassing...unless you were Adrien, apparently. Aside from that, she showed no other power—neither over the clothes themselves or the people wearing them. Well, she wasn���t controlling any of the victims or shrinking the clothing to choke them at any rate...which if you think about it, was rather lame for an akuma in the power department.

The only real disadvantage in battle came in the difficulty the boys had moving freely in their current outfits. And the afore noted lack of proper weaponry.

Their advantage of surprising was ruined by Chat’s bell ringing before they could ambush her, and both Carapace and Pegasus losing balance with their heels and falling over. King Monkey’s outfit, while longer, also meant more fabric to flap about and resist his movements regardless of how light it may have been, so he wasn’t able to get a hit in fast enough before the akuma turned on him and knocked him away.

Chat was able to get a hit in though.

With his…Kitty Wand…

“THIS IS MAGICAL PUNISHMENT!” He shouted as he smacked the akuma over the head.

“Chat. Chat no. Chat why?”

And Ladybug had hopelessly lost her composure by this point and was laughing. Just laughing. Laughing so hard she was crying actual tears as she smacked her own thigh in her struggle to breathe. Viperion was trying to help her stay standing, keeping an arm around her to support her as she half leaned and half chuckled tears into his chest.

“What’s going on? Does the akuma have some power over Ladybug, too?” King Monkey asked.

…

Viperion sighed.

“Sure. Something to that effect.”

Ladybug wheezed.

“LADYBUG!”

“Lu-haha-lucky haha-charm!”

It said something when her own Lucky Charm magicked up a paper bag. With Ladybug still victim to her fit of giggles, Viperion simply put the bag over her face and had her try to breathe.

“A paper bag doesn’t help with out of control laughing.” Pegasus noted as he forced himself to his feet.

“Do you want to try to figure out the Lucky Charm?” Viperion bit out in annoyance, Ladybug still shaking in his arms.

Pegasus coughed and backed away. “No, thank you.”

Ladybug let out another giggle.

“All right, enough! I’ll stop her!” Carapace shouted, reaching for his back. “With my…serving plate.”

His shield.

His precious shield was gone.

“…Carapace?” Ladybug asked.

The newly rendered Turtle Maid sighed and simply threw the plate as he had his shield, not expecting much.

…the plate slice flew through the air at a surprising speed, but missed the akuma entirely. Instead, it sailed past her, hitting a light post.

Ladybug had expected it to bounce, but instead there was a sound of shredding metal as the serving plate actually tore through the lamp post and into the concrete itself.

The lamp post, now detached, tilted and fell over—conveniently on top of the akuma before she had the time to realize what was happening and move out of the way.

SLAM!

It fell on top of her and she hit the ground.

“Huzzah?” Kim asked.

“Well…that’s one way to defeat an akuma.” Pegasus marveled.

“Great. Now can we fix this already?” Carapace asked impatiently. If they took too much longer, someone was bound to catch them.

That someone would probably be Alya.

And that was the last thing he wanted at this point.

“But I kind of wanted to make a sketch at least…” Ladybug muttered to herself, holding the paper bag Charm to her chest.

“LADYBUG!”

She waved her hands insistently. “I’m on it!”

But she could dream…

“MIRACULOUS LADYBUG!”

It was with some disappointment that the Miraculous Cure wiped away the outfits of the other heroes, returning them to their original costumes.

“OH THANK GOD!”

“That was…horrible…”

“Corsets were invented as a torture method, I swear…”

“Shieldy!” Carapace exclaimed, hugging the shield in relief. “Never leave me again!”

“You okay now, Ladybug?” Chat asked her in worry.

“I’m fine.” She said, even though she wasn’t really. She felt like she’d missed a chance, even if it was for the greater good. But it would have been an abuse of her power to be taking pictures of the guys in that state and she already felt bad enough for breaking down laughing in the middle of the fight.

In that moment, however, the loveliness of ladybugs that made up the Cure returned from their task of restoring Paris to flow over Ladybug herself before vanishing, leaving her holding an envelope in their wake. Curious, she opened the envelope…

She gasped.

Inside were a multitude of photos of the other heroes. From different angles. In different positions. All of them in their new outfits.

Ladybug bit the inside of her cheek to keep from responding and drawing attention to herself.

…Thank you, Tikki.

Best. Kwami. Ever. “Ladybug…” Carapace said in growing wariness. “What is that?”

“Nothing!”

“Ladybug. That better not be what I think it is…”

She shoved the photos back in the envelope.

“It’s nothing at all!”

“Why don’t I believe you?”

Noticing the stand off, the others approached as well.

“It was just something I was missing, yeah.”

“Then let us see it.”

“Can’t.” She replied, clutching the envelope to her chest. “It’s…Ladybug stuff.”

“Hand it over. Right now!”

"NOOO! THESE ARE FOR THE FUTURE OF FASHIOOOON!”

“GIVE US THE PHOTOS!”

“Wait—did she get any of all of us in a group cosplay pic?”

“NOT NOW, CHAT!”

Unfortunately, that small distraction was all she needed to get away.

Viperion, the only one having been pretty nonchalant this whole time, simply watched her leave and the others shout after her.

“…isn’t she going to take our Miraculous back?”

_________________________

Angela sighed, already dreading what was to come.

It was a humiliating end to an already humiliating week as the former akuma victim had been forced to return to her job to go over the updates for the new Ladybug game with the rest of her team.

Said updates were apparently to include maid outfits for the female heroes thanks to one particular coworker who had decided to work on maid outfits for the female heroes instead of the level he was assigned. It had been part of the reason she had been angry enough to be akumatized.

The fact that he was insistent on shoving his maid fetish into the game for no good reason other than having them be eye candy was the other part.

The images in question that he insisted on bringing featured the three female super heroes of the city: Ladybug, Rena Rouge, and Queen Bee.

But not as anyone had ever seen them.

Instead of their usual hero suits, the three girls were portrayed in sultry, even provocative poses. And most notably, all three were wearing some mockery of a French Maid outfit…as what would be believed by Americans, no less.

They might as well have been the initial sketches of pinup posters.

“You can’t still be serious!”

“Hey, I’m not the one who got akumatized just because I was jealous that someone else had a good idea.” He said bitingly and giving her a pointed look, perhaps still a bit bitter of the aforementioned experience that her akumatization had caused.

“It’s not a good idea, John.” Angela countered. “There was no reason to have the girls be running in maid outfits.”

He shrugged. “We could just say an akuma did it. After all, we did just get an akuma who did exactly that.” He said, giving her another look.

She clenched her fists and was about to retort when their team lead entered the room.

The meeting commenced and she’d been forced to bite her tongue. Each of the team members went over their progress and updates for their contribution to the game. Level design. Enemies. Testing.

And then came his grand achievement. Instead of the level he was assigned, he gave scantily clad designs for three of the eight known heroes.

What effort.

“I was thinking we really need to include something to make our game stand out, so I made some extra skins for the heroes.” He bragged, sending her a smug look. “The appeal would sell plenty of copies.”

“Or the controversy.” Angela muttered back before turning to the team lead and hoping that the man leading their group had more empathy…or sense.

The team lead looked over the designs with an analyzing gaze. Tiffeny, despite the initial impression his name would give, was a rather buff man who took no shit. But was also a guy. Who liked guy things. But did those things include young women in maid costumes?

After a moment, Tiffeny dropped the pictures on the table and looked at John incredulously. “You know, if you were going to base skins off recent events, you could at least have been authentic.”

John stared. “What?”

“It was the guys who were affected by Akumaid. Not the girls. If we’re going to do maids, we need to keep it true to life, just like the rest of the designs we’ve included. We talked about this when we started this project.”

“But it’s what the audience wants!” John argued.

“Do you know who comprises the majority of our audience?” Tiffeny asked. “Girls. Girls, gay guys, and those who are exploring their interests. Guys in the outfits would sell leagues more than the girls.” He started ticking his fingers “It’s different. It’s original. And it’s based in actual events. People would love it.”

“But…they’ll love this!”

“Man, if people wanted to see sexy girls in skimpy clothing, they’d play literally any other game! Or watch porn.” Tiffeny explained. “But what game do you know of has had guys in maid outfits?”

“Well...”

“Exactly. We want to stand out. And we even have recent events as justification. So if you’re going to be wasting time you should be spending on level-making to put people in maid skins, then get those male heroes some maid costumes.”

“But that’s not fair!” John exclaimed.

Tiffeny paused at that. “Hmm…you’re right.”

With that, he turned to her. “You’re good at designing. Make some butler outfits for the girls. Something dashing to serve as a counter for the guys.”

Angela blinked in surprise for a moment before smiling.

“Sure thing!”

“You know…” one of the other workers noted. “While we’re on the subject, I WAS thinking of some medieval armor designs for the girls and princess dresses for the guys.”

“Hey yeah! Like a light green for Viperion!”

“Maybe teal might be better?”

“Ooo! How about…”

Soon enough, everyone seemed to be invested in the new plan.

Everyone that is, except John.

“Lovely!” Tiffeny said cheerfully. “Plan it out and bring the concepts to me later.”

With a new task in hand and John’s pouting to forever be a memory to hold onto, it seemed her day was looking up…

_________________________

“That was some akuma battle.” Marinette said as she slid into her seat next to Alya.

The reporter, however, only looked annoyed. “Ladybug had apparently called all the male heroes and I completely missed it!” She groaned and leaned back in her seat, bemoaning the lost opportunity.

If she’d hadn’t been so focused on tracking Nino for the purpose of collecting blackmail ensuring his safety, she would have been able to catch all of the male heroes in their maid outfits.

Marinette smiled. “You know…I may have a connection…”

Alya gasped.

“No.”

Marinette giggled and slid over her phone with a picture showing.

“NO WAY!” She cried out before staring up at Marinette in shock. “Girl, you have to send me these!”

“Wait—you have what now?” Nino had arrived, initially hopeful that he had avoided the worst of that day only to have those hopes immediately dashed upon arriving to see the two girls sharing what could only have been one thing…

“I have pictures of the heroes in their new outfits.” Marinette replied cheerfully as she swiped through her phone. “Oh look, Nino! You’re in here, too!”

“WHAT?! NO!” He shouted, rushing forward.

Marinette quickly grabbed back her phone and hid it in her pocket with an overly sweet and not at all innocent grin.

“Mari, come on, no! Don’t do this to me!” He begged.

“Don’t do this to ME!” Alya cut in. “You can’t just show me that and take it away! That’s just not fair!”

“Don’t worry.” Marinette assured them. “It’s going where all my blackmail material goes.”

“Wait what?”

“Since when do you have blackmail material?”

“Since somebody started a game of ‘let’s take pictures of Marinette while she’s asleep and post them online’.” Marinette replied dryly.

Nino groaned. “Come on! I said I was sorry!”

“And now I can be just as sorry.” She replied blithely.

Which was to say: not sorry at all.

“Come on! Alya made me do it!”

“It was just in fun! Marinette! Please!”

“Do you want me to beg? Cry? I’ll cry.”

“I’ll pay you! Pretty please! At least the heroes if nothing else!”

“Oh no you don’t!”

“My blog NEEDS this!”

Marinette smiled at the minor chaos she had caused as the normally happy couple bickered with each other.

Sweet sweet music.

“Hey, Marinette!”

And speaking of sweet…

She turned to look up at a certain blond-haired model as he arrived at his own desk. Though he seemed to be a bit distracted by the arguing couple.

“Hey, Adrien!” She greeted, for once with no stutter to speak of.

“Hey, um…are they okay?” He asked, gesturing to the two.

“Oh, they’re fine.” She said, waving them off. “Just…a bit excited over the recent akuma.”

At that, Adrien brightened. “Wasn’t it awesome?”

She nodded, trying to keep her laughter inside.

“You…ah…enjoyed yourself then?”

Adrien shrugged, looking a bit sheepish. “Well, it’s not often I get to dress up in a way that’s ‘silly’. Or in anything that isn’t promoting Father’s brand. And I’ve never gotten to cosplay. So it was…really fun.”

Oh. Ouch. Okay, that one kind of hurt. The poor Sunshine Child…

“You know…” Marinette said, leaning over her desk and smiling at him. “I’ve seen a bit of that one anime you mentioned.”

“Cells at Work?” He asked, brightening up.

She nodded. “Mmhmm. I could make you a jacket based off the lead Red Blood Cell. And if you like, I can keep it so you can wear it whenever we hang out.”

He gasped. “Really?”

“Sure! Maybe you can come over sometime so we can try a fitting. We could even play Mecha Strike.”

Adrien beamed. “That sounds great! Thanks, Marinette!”

She waved him off and went back to full sitting in her seat.

Alya and Nino both became distracted from their arguing by the miracle they had just witnessed.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng had just spoken to Adrien Agreste…and not a stutter to be heard!

“What the heck, girl?” Alya whispered, sliding into her seat beside her friend. “Since when could you do THAT and why haven’t you done it sooner? I could swear I saw hearts in his eyes!”

Marinette shrugged, grinning sheepishly. “After seeing Adrien Agreste in a maid dress, I kind of wondered why I was so scared of talking to him to begin with.”

Alya laughed. “Well, at least something good came out of this, then.”

“You know...more good WOULD come out of this if I had pics of those heroes..." 

“Really, Alya?”

“You’re pretty much the only one who managed to get any shots of the male heroes!” Alya exclaimed. “Seriously, how?!”

Marinette giggled.

“Just lucky, I guess.”

________________________

OMAKE 1:

Knock! Knock!

“Felix?” His mother called on the other side of the locked and barricaded door. “Will you be coming out?”

“That depends. Do you have a camera?”

A pause. Which was all the answer he needed.

“Then no.”

OMAKE 2:

Fortunately, in the midst of their searching, the team had managed to find the akuma and her primary target, getting between the two.

“So what happened?” Ladybug asked him.

John gripped his skirt, nervously. “She’s my coworker in developing a new video game and she didn’t like my input.”

“What set her off?”

The guy rolled his eyes. “She’s one of those types who wants to take the fun out of video games.”

“What?” Ladybug blinked.

“Okay, so I wanted to put some maid costumes in the game! It was just for fun! Besides, it would have added a bit of pizazz! Something for the players to enjoy!”

“You could just try making a good game.” Pegasus pointed out. “If you have to rely on a cheap gimmick to get buyers, it may not be a good product.”

"I'm sorry, really! I mean, sure, I'm still going to put it in the game, because who wouldn't want hot maids, but still! That doesn't mean I deserve this!"

The akuma raised her fist and shouted at him. “THEY ARE HEROES, DAMMIT! THEY DESERVE BETTER THAN MAID SKINS JUST BECAUSE THEY’RE GIRLS!”

Ladybug blanched. “Wait…is the game about me?”

Pegasus coughed and looked away. “There have been…rumors, yes.”

Viperion tilted his head. “That seems like a double standard though…since we’re the ones in maid outfits...”

“Not the point, Viperion!”

Ladybug frowned.

“I don’t think I want to help now.”

“Ladybug!”

[lesbiansanemi]

You got me curious so, top five Bleach villains?

Oh god fuck yes any excuse to talk about Bleach villains. I actually had a really tough time narrowing it to just my favorite five, and I already talked about Ulquiorra, so I'll leave him out of it this time around, despite loving him, and I'm also just focusing on Aizen and the Espada, leaving out Yhwach and the Sternritter for now, but anyways, yes yes yes

Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez

So surprising absolutely fucking no one, putting Grimmjow in that first spot. I love Grimm, and I think he's so neat because it can be... difficult, to have a villain who genuinely just relishes in violence and destruction without much else motivation. They can feel flat, or pointless and forced. But Grimmjow had so much personality, and beyond that, when he eventually develops, and finds a motivation in Ichigo, that's also really interesting! Also, after he gets his little "redemption arc" (if you can consider that, considering he technically didn't really change at all, just changed priorities lol), he gets even more fun to watch. So yeah, love Grimmjow

2. Sosuke Aizen

So like... you can't really talk about Bleach villains without talking about Aizen? A lot of people consider him one of the best anime villains, and yeah, I kind of have to agree. For one, he's fun because he's got the whole "mad scientist" thing going on, which is always neat. And I'm always gonna love any character whose entire motivation is killing/surpassing God. He's so overbearing, that he can even make the audience uncomfortable at times. He has no morals, and only cares about overtaking the natural order. He experimented on countless individuals (of course, most people think of the Visored, the arrancar, and Ichigo), but there were many nameless Shinigami that he just straight up murdered in his endeavors. I also think it is hilariously ironic that one of Aizen's main roles in the series was the foreshadowing of the Soul King, and a lot of what happened with Yhwach, because he would hate that. But yeah no, he's super interesting, and had a lot of cool dynamics with other characters. And god don't even get me started on how he counters Urahara, and serves as a reminder to him for what he can never become, because without a reminder, it's plausible Urahara would stray down the same path. Ah, parallels. So yeah no, Aizen is a very good villain.

3. Gin Ichimaru

So like... okay, there's some debate over whether Gin was really a villain or not. But in my opinion, he absolutely was. He did awful things for personal reasons. Was his ultimate goal to get close to Aizen and kill him? Sure. We can admire that conviction, but that doesn't change that he killed countless people, led them into traps to be experimented on, and put Rangiku through hell regarding him. And as sweet as the whole "I'm glad I apologized to you" thing was, it doesn't change what he did to her. Him being sorry or maybe, ultimately, having a good conviction doesn't change what he did. But I think that's what makes him such a good, tragic villain. He wanted to stop Aizen, so he became something terrible, and ultimately died without even being able to accomplish the goal he sacrificed everything for. He's a very good tragic character, and villain, and as important as they were to each other, it's kind of unfortunate that so many people reduce him to his relationship to Rangiku, and nothing more.

4. Tia Harribel

Listen, I can't really say more than just "Harribel is a badass bitch." The fact that she, canonically, is one of the only people who can keep Grimmjow in line (along with Nel) is so fucking good. Her want to protect her Fraccion was so interesting, especially considering she was meant to represent "sacrifice," but she could only do that so long as she was sacrificing herself. She didn't want anyone else to sacrifice themselves for her (as we saw with her Fraccion). Beyond that, I love that she took over as the ruler of Hueco Mundo after Aizen's defeat and forced all the other arrancar to submit to her and follow her lead. She was so badass. Also hot, and I am but a simple lesbian

5. Szayelporro Granz

Honestly, most of what sticks out to me about Szayel is his death. We were given another "mad scientist" character (which Bleach has no shortage of those, and I really have to thank it for that. As I mentioned above with Aizen and Urahara, it was very interesting how they all countered each other, and posed the question of "how far is too far?" regarding that kind of thing. Aizen and Urahara were the checks for each other, and Szayel and Mayuri proved to each other that there was no limit for them). Szayel was actively torturing Renji and Uryu before he died, and was having an amazing time doing it, so it's very easy to surmise that he did the same to others. He was horrible. But with the way Mayuri decided to kill him (AKA, slowing time down from Szayel's perspective, so that the single sword strike it took to kill him felt as if it last ten thousand years and left him begging for death and reprieve), it leaves the audience feeling almost... sick, and wondering if that was too much, even for a monster like Szayel. Are characters like Mayuri allowed to do whatever they want, with no repercussions, even to reprehensible people like Szayel? Idk, I just like that Szayel (and to be honest so many of the Bleach villains represent the darkest parts of the 'heroes' like with Aizen and Urahara that I mention above ^^ Grimmjow does that with Ichigo, Ulquiorra with Orihime, etc etc).

But yeah no, fucking adore the Bleach villains. The series has its flaws, but the villains certainly are not part of them. They're all so interesting, and genuinely serve their role of challenging the protagonists, not just in the war, but their ideals and what they stand for and what they represent, and show that the "heroes" are genuinely just one or two wrong moves from having the exact same thought processes as them. So yeah, love them. Love them so much.

[thefanficmonster]

Lucky Me (Sequel To Unlucky)

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Fluff

Summary: You aren’t always born with luck. Sometimes, you meet people who bring it to you. In short, they are your lucky charm.

Requested: Yes, but not in a typical way. A big thank you to all the wonderful people who read, liked, reblogged and commented on part one - Unlucky.  

@susceptible-but-siriusexual  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @hacker-ghost  @itsminniekat  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  and many more ❤❤❤

They are the reason this story is being written. What was originally supposed to be an elaborate one-shot turned into the most liked piece I’ve ever written. I can’t thank you enough, guys. You are amazing and I hope you like this one just as much or even more than the previous. Love you ❤❤❤

Y/N’s POV

I’m grinning at my reflection in the mirror as I put on a pair of earrings. My face is already touched-up with a little make-up and my hair is looking on point. I can almost see my own reflection in the shine of excitement in my eyes. I take in my upper body via a quick once-over in the full body mirror opposite me, and I finally relax my muscles that I didn’t ever realize I was tensing.

“OK, now I’m ready.“ I say as a form of encouragement as I reach behind me for my phone that’s sitting on my bed.

You might be wondering where I’m going? Who I’m going with? What’s the occasion behind this many preparations and pampering?

The answer: Nowhere. No one. Nothing. I’m literally not even going to leave my house.

It might seem ridiculous to someone else, but to me, to my hypnotized mind, it’s perfectly reasonable to be getting so amped up over a FaceTime call. Yeah, you heard me correctly - a FaceTime call. 

Well, you see, this isn’t the first time we FaceTime, but it will be the first time we’ll see each other’s faces. I wanted to level the field so I didn’t let him on to what I look like, where exactly I live, etc. Basically, he only knows my name, which I am still prepared to call unfair, considering I don’t know his real name. 

A brief backstory to my first ever real interaction with Corpse: I was introduced to him by my friends. They are the ones I always turned to with all the scary shit happening in my life. Often times they didn’t know weather to comfort me or laugh at my curse. My friends suggested I start sharing it to a youtuber named Corpse Husband. You see, I love YouTube narrators and I’ve always been a fan of Mr. Nightmare and I, to be perfectly honest, always kept the idea of sending him my stories in the back of my mind. Nevertheless, I bit the bullet and checked out on of this Corpse Husband guy’s videos. And then another. And another. And before I knew it I was having a marathon after which I was too paranoid to get online, walk home alone at night, leave my curtains open etc. It wasn’t all thanks to the stories themselves. A lot of the fear factor these stories strike with should be credited to the way they are read. Let me tell you, this guy had it all figured out with the reading. Not sending him my stories would just be wrong. So I did, I sent him my first ever creepy encounter which was with a stalker from my high school and it took me only two days to forget about it. It only crossed my mind when my friends blew my phone up, demanding I watched Corpse’s new video. I kid you not, I got more scared by the story when he read it than when I lived it. That’s what settled it for me - I decided to send him each and every story.

And then one day, out of the blue, my life changed for the better in more ways than one. It got turned completely upside down, like a rollercoaster, and I just had to hold on and enjoy the ride, embrace the adrenaline rush and excitement, knowing full well that I chose to get on and there’s no way I can get off halfway through. 

I’m being too metaphorical. He sent me an email. He freaking reached out to me. And I was posed with a rough choice. Took me a minute, but I chose to reply to him, I chose to trust him, and I couldn’t just leave him on read one day simply cause I chickened out. Yes, I’m unlucky and these things don’t happen to unlucky people. I mean, they do, but they are nightmares disguised as a dream come true. I’ve lived all my life cautiously: if something sounds too good to be true it’s either not as good as marketed or not true at all. If it’s dark and late and there are no people around, FaceTime someone. If your Uber driver’s sketchy, cancel the ride. I take all the precautions and I still find myself in the worst situations. Or at least...

My thoughts are interrupted by the ringing of my phone. A simple ringtone I hear every time he calls me. A simple sound that causes me butterflies when I hear it and ultimate devastation if the caller ID doesn’t read the name I want. It always gets me excited, probably more than it should. This time is different, however. It’s scary almost. I’m nervous, anxious, scared, hesitant - all things I never feel when I’m about to answer his call. 

With shaky hands I pick up the call and find myself looking at the most beautiful person I’ve ever met. Now I know why I would have never initiated this meeting, because I know what color my face is right now. I know my voice has let me down before I even attempt to speak. I know I look like a mess. I know my obvious crush is showing.

Corpse initiated this meeting. He said he was getting too curious and he wanted one of his best friends to see him and for him to finally see her. It’s been about seven months since we first started texting and I haven’t let out a single peep about it to a single soul. It’s just between him and I. We are each other’s safe space away from the rest of the world.

“Thought you weren’t gonna pick up for a second there.“ His voice is not as confident as other times when we’ve talked. His trying to hide his own nervousness and all I wanna do is hug him and tell him he doesn’t have to. I kept telling him over and over again that we don’t have to do this if he’s not sure that he actually wants it. I even offered to show him what I look like, not expecting to see him in return but he declined, saying it was now his turn to even the field.

“I was in another room.“ I manage to say, my voice only shaking a little.

We spend a few moments just looking at each other. Admiring one another. For someone who prefers digital interaction, I am surprised to realize I wish he was actually standing in front of. I wish I could hug him. A long hug of comfort, mutual understanding and hidden feelings.

He lets out a short laugh, shaking his head which causes a few strands of hair to fall over his eyepatch, “I’m sorry...It’s just-...Fuck I’m stumbling.” He chuckles nervously, “I just...can’t believe you are real. You are a real person. And the most beautiful person I’ve seen. That’s corny, isn’t it.” He looks away from the screen, his face now a shade of red. “But I mean it. I’m embracing my corniness. You are beautiful, Y/N. Not that I’m flexing or anything, but I’m lucky to have met you.”

I laugh, feeling my eyes stinging from the tears that have suddenly formed. I don’t want to let them fall, but I don’t have much say in that. “Well, mister Corpse, I can’t begin to compare. I mean...that hair! I still cannot believe it’s you. You are not just a deep voice in my mind. You are....you are...”

“Everything you imagined and more?“ he jokes, making my whole body heat up. “I told you you could trust. I mean, if the hair doesn’t confirm I’m who I say I am, I don’t know what will.”

“Actually, I never tried to imagine what you looked like. I knew those visions...I knew they didn’t matter. Faces don’t matter to us, Corpse. I think you realize that.“

And just like that, all I’ve been keeping hidden is pouring out. I don’t try to stop it - you can’t stop a hurricane with bare hands.

“I never needed a face to imagine us. I always saw as talking on the phone, playing Among Us. Reading scary stories to each other on Discord. I never needed a face to imagine your company. To imagine what we could be...“ I trail off, letting the first tear slip down my cheek.

The most sincere look appears in his eyes, “Fuck, I wish I could hold your hand right now. Never mind, I wish I could hug you, Y/N. Hug you and not let go for a long time.”

I laugh halfheartedly, my chest burning from the intensity of this moment’s intimacy, “I can always tell you where I live.” I’m only half-joking. I really want to see him in real life, not just through a screen, but even this call is out of his comfort zone, let alone a physical meet up.

He surprises me yet again, “Saturday. I’ll bring the take out, you pick the movie.” he says with a smile that is literally saying ‘you didn’t see that coming, did you?’

“How are you sure I don’t live in a different state, or a different continent all together?“ I tease, making an attempt to put my composure back together.

He smirks, “I pay way more attention to your stories than you’d think.” I laugh, shaking my head as a pointless method of fighting the pesky tears that he has 100% noticed by this point. “By the way, just because we’re....” he thinks for a second, “in a weird zone between friendship and...something more, doesn’t mean you have to stop sending me stories. I absolutely love reading them for my audience. They love em too.”

I just realized I am yet to tell him the crazy miracle that has happened. “Well, the thing is...I don’t have any.” His eyebrows shoot up in shock which makes me laugh, “Yeah, I know, it’s crazy. Since the day we started talking I have not experienced a single scary thing. Deadass. I swear on my life.”

If I wasn’t so head over heels for this man already, the baffled expression on his face would definitely send me falling for him. He’s just that adorable. “Wow.”

“I know right.“ I nod, “Seems to me you have enough luck to share with me.“

His eyes light up at that comment, showing just how meaning full it is to him.

“You’re my lucky charm, Corpse.“

“I will never be more proud of any other title, Y/N. That I can promise you with no hesitation.“

“Deadass?“

“Deadass.“