#ultimately even though i listed some reasons above it's mostly just like.

[creaturefeaster]

ive been thinking about this for a while, i sent an ask about it a while ago but i was in a spot with bad service so im not sure if it sent or not, so sorry if something like this already went through to your ask box. But, how does vilmer and maja speak and know swedish if cq doesnt take place on earth? is there a different place that’s native language is swedish, and also is it called something different? or is sweden just laying around somewhere on theia

It's a mix of a few things, and it applies to all real languages used in the CQ universe:

1) There are no Earth-aligned countries on Theia, but there are definitely parts & communities of the world that have different languages, accents, and dialects. This is also why there are other languages spoken such as Spanish or French, why Bonnie knows languages such as Hungarian, and so on.

2) Even though I chose to express the world's writing primarily in English, it's still a language just like any other and should not be assumed the default for the entire world of Theia. Many places they travel to, were there to be any survivors, do not speak English at all.

3) My ass is not about to conjure 100 different fake languages for the world when there are plenty of interesting and very real languages to explore & implement into the world. The swedes spawned in this world and they are here to stay, and no they won't elaborate how or why.

Also yes it is still called swedish, same for any other real language used in my writing ^_^!

[applestorms]

a "quick" little logistical refresher on shinigami eyes & lifespans, mostly for myself but also bc i keep seeing posts talking about this that bother me:

when ryuk first presents light with the offer of shinigami eyes, it comes with an added explanation of the primary (biological?) differences between human & shinigami. specifically, along with the difference in sight distance and ability to see names & lifespans, shinigami use their DN's as a kind of base survival mechanism. while no human weapon/physical attack could ever hurt them, and they have no biological need to eat/sleep/drink/etc, the one thing they do have to do is write down names, at least enough to ensure that their life counter doesn't tick all the way down.

presumably, this is one of the reasons why shinigami can't see each others'/their own lifespans: not just because it is unnecessary, as ryuk says, but also because it is constantly changing as it ticks down, bringing the shinigami closer & closer to their own death until they refresh it by writing down another name. if we could see shinigami lifespans, they would be shifting every second/minute/hour/[insert shinigami-based time measurement here]-- in a way, time is their basic life function.

this means that, by necessity, humans are different. a human lifespan cannot change-- or, even if it does have the ability to adjust under certain circumstances, it still absolutely cannot be influenced by the DN. the DN influencing lifespans goes inherently against the point of using the DN as a way of getting more time, as it would mean that at maximum, all shinigami could only get approximately 40 seconds of life for every kill. they would have to be much more regularly active to keep living under such circumstances, which goes against the whole lazy/slothful shinigami realm thing that's set up early on.

sidenote1: theoretically, you could maybe consider a circumstance where time is a lot more fluid, where human lifespans tick down just the same as shinigami and get transferred/sucked over when their name is written in the DN. but considering the fact that (iirc) it is never depicted like that in any animated/live action mediums, and that the explanation seems more focused around the mathematical approach of, "well if you have 60 years listed and you're 40, the shinigami gets 20 years for writing your name," i'm inclined to disregard this idea or call it mostly non-canonical.

so, following this logic, when light kills with the DN he is almost undoubtedly killing people before the end of their stated/written lifespans. the DN's influence on reality is not something that is predetermined by these written lifespans for the reasons listed above, so if light kills someone at the time they were meant to die, a la BB, it is purely by chance. (e.g. lind l. tailor might've been slated to die that day, but his death could still be considered "unnatural," since it was ultimately caused by the DN.) this tends to be the line of reasoning that people follow when they say that, "everything in DN was ryuk's fault," assuming not just that the DN's influence is unnatural, but that the presence of a shinigami itself is somehow breaking the natural flow of how humanity would've existed on its own when freed from such a presence.

this of course brings up the interesting if somewhat complicated question of free will in the DN universe, though i think we can get a clearer view on this by asking a simpler question first: what is a "natural lifespan" anyway?

intuitively, if we are working under the assumption that humans have at least some semblance of free will, it's easy to assume that a natural lifespan is something that humans can influence. i.e. if you eat healthy, work out regularly, take care of yourself mentally, etc. you can improve your length & quality of life, or just the opposite if you do not. however, this again seems to go against the already established principle of "human lifespans do not change," so i don't think this explanation fully fits.

instead, i actually think there might be a similar logic working here as how diavolo's king crimson stand works in jojo pt. 5-- namely, that there is some fated/destined route that all of humanity is destined to go down, should they be free to go their own way. this implies that at least some/all human action is predetermined to a degree, with deaths being fated/unavoidable if the lifespan counter decrees it, just in the same way that a death cannot in any way be avoided if written in the DN. even if nobody (that we know of in-story, anyway) can see it, there is a destined timeline of human action & existence that will play out naturally should humanity be left alone from any exterior forces, shinigami or otherwise.

the question is only how much the action of shinigami influence this destiny in the long run-- like, does the existence of KIRA in the early 2000s influence the lifespan of children born in japan even after light's death in 2010/2013/2006? presumably, yes, as it would be a huge pain for shinigami if they could no longer trust lifespan counters to accurately depict times of death, and the influence of the DN supposedly only works on those whose names are directly written down. so, perhaps the predetermination only works on a smaller scale, looking only at the destiny of each individual human at the time they are born?? something to consider.

EDIT: actually, scratch that, the answer to that should probably be no-- the entire point is that light's influence is somewhat meaningless in the long run, even if humanity still remembers KIRA distinctly long after light's death, as we see in the c-kira & a-kira post-canon stories. the real question here is whether or not the lifespans of kids born at the time of KIRA's reign are influenced-- which again the answer to which should probably be no, as the DN's influence is limited. guess it just feels weird to think about, that everyone remembers KIRA so distinctly but their lives are still destined the same either way. a bit of weird writing, perhaps? again, this gets into the question of what specifically is being predetermined here-- we see the twin towers still standing post-2001 in story at one point, so were those deaths simply not predetermined in this universe?? big sigh.

sidenote2: even going along with this explanation, i don't think you have to entirely divorce the existence of free will from the DN universe, or at the very least you don't have to believe that every single individual action a human takes or emotion they feel is strictly predestined. this could start getting into more formal philosophical arguments though, and i'm not reading any more hume if i can help it.

ironically, this all kinda goes directly against the idea that light is somehow destined/fated to rid the world of evil by being a teenage serial killer-- if anything, it means that light is specifically going against his fated path by using the DN. you could maybe even make the argument that light is one of the only people in the world acting with true free will, freed from his destined path through the power of an outside force. it's very very very interesting to me in this context that humans using the DN seem to lose their destined lifespans entirely, seemingly breaking from their fated paths entirely purely by gaining such a power, the only lasting remnants of fate's influence being a vague doom hanging over their heads (rip minoru tanaka). i mean-- i guess you could still argue that even that was still fated, that there's like another layer of shinigami-based destiny on top of the base-level human destiny, but this is starting to get stupid so i'm gonna stop talking about fate for now.

point is: please stop saying that beyond could somehow tell that L or naomi or mello were all gonna die soon in the future due to KIRA. he had no way of knowing that-- their lifespans would be written the same regardless of whether or not light got the DN, because the DN by necessity cannot influence the written, predetermined human lifespans. thank you for reading my speech, mic drop.

[best-enemies]

Just watched S09E11 of CSI, 'The Grave Shift', after last night's 'One to Go'. I don't think I'll ever recover from Grissom, my favorite character, leaving the show, but his exit was still beautiful and so, so Grissom. Him just telling the team "Yeah so, I'm leaving" and having little moments with each of them, warmed my heart (the character that represented me the most was David, who had to bolt out of the room after Grissom said, "I'll miss you, though", barely managing to hold back the tears before leaving).

And oh my god. His reunion with Sara. They didn't even need words and it was absolutely perfect. Watching Grissom feel physical pain from his break up with Sara broke my heart -- you can see how much he loves her. I hate that they'll break up again; I don't remember how or why exactly, but it feels unnecessary, but I'm comforted by the fact that, ultimately, they'll end up together for the rest of their lives.

One of the things I love about this episode is how they all paid a little homage to Grissom and, near the end, Nick, who was offered Grissom's office, invited Greg and Riley to share it with him. Fits right in with Nick's sweet personality. I love how he says they need all the good energy from that place. He's really Grissom's n#1 pupil ♡

(Shout out to Hodges, one of my favorite characters from this rewatch, walking in and bringing the pig fetus saying it belongs there. I love how bitter he is after Grissom left and how he's not willing to get over it any time soon. Forget David, Hodges is the character that represented me the most, lol).

I need to say, my brain completely ignored the fact that, when Grissom offered Ray Langston a job as a CSI he said that it was an "entry-level job". Instead, I thought he'd get the job as the team leader and it was weird for me to see him being so inexperienced at a job. But all of that is because, one, I haven't rewatched CSI in ten years and forgot about like, 97% of the show and two, I have rewatched Hannibal way too many times and got used to Laurence Fishburne playing a boss, and a damn good one. I do like his character, though!

I'm not a fan of Riley though. I don't know why, she seems mostly competent at her job, fit right in, but at the same time it's not really like she fit in? I felt like maybe she could have had some adaptation into the team, after all she was replacing a long-time team member, Warrick (will talk about him later). Her introduction and adaptation into the team felt a bit sudden and "inorganic" and maybe that's why I don't love her sassy remarks and sort of 'cool girl' personality. Yeah I love Sara but I don't love Riley for the reasons listed above. That could change, though!

Warrick. Oh, man. For Gedda/For Warrick were the most painful episodes to watch and I stalled for months. Some of the team got to have a nice last moment with him, others didn't. It broke my heart how at peace he was in his last hours, hanging out with the work fam, feeling relieved for not losing his job, which was a huge part of his life. I do hate that it had to end like that for him. I get that his death represented the loss of innocence, and that that team wasn't going to last forever... but it's just really painful. To know that he didn't have anyone else, only his soon, which we don't know if he was able to see often...

Too many things happening at once, too many changes, and bumpy ones, but I hope we'll get into a smooth road once again.

[megafreak400]

2024 Media Thread - #31

Crash Bandicoot (N Sane Trilogy) (8/19/24) -  Score - 1/10

So far this year, i’ve mostly played really good games. Last year I tackled more games on my backlog, to mix quality. This year i’ve played more new games or games on game pass so most of the games I've finished tend to be ones I’ve liked. There have been a few exceptions like the disappointment that was Ufouria 2, but overall I was starting to think I wouldn’t have any really bad games on this year's tier list. ENTER THIS FUCKING GAME! So let me give you a little bit of background. I was mostly a Nintendo kid, with a splash of Sega genesis. But my youngest brothers during the GameCube era were given a Playstation 1 at some point. So occasionally I’d check out what games they had for that and found a few I really gelled with. Jigsaw madness was a ton of fun playing against my brothers, Spyro 2 was a blast and then there was Crash Bandicoot Warped. I remember it being somewhat tough but having been a kid that preferred 2D platformers and missed them on the N64 and Gamecube, it was cool playing a game with a similar energy. Fast forward to college and while I never beat Crash Bandicoot Warped, the game stuck in my mind. At some point one of my college friends was selling some Playstation One games, and I had recently purchased a used PS2. They had a copy of Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex strikes back. I remembered fond memories of Crash, so I bought it from them. I had thought however that 2 was the game i had played in the past. So when I looked things up in more detail and I realized it wasn’t I was slightly disappointed. I did later play Crash 4 and overall enjoyed it (though i’m never 100 percenting it), but I never got back to Crash 2 for one reason or another and so it just sat on my backlog. That is until GamePass added the N sane trilogy to game pass. I was like “ok awesome this is a good excuse to mark another game off my backlog and I also get to finally play Crash Warped again. However I didn’t just want to jump into Crash 2. I could have, and probably should have, but if I’m playing 2 of the 3 Ps1 Crash games I might as well play them all right…….HAHA… WRONG!!! I finished this game out of spite. I finished this game to write this blog post because Crash Bandicoot 1 is by far the worst game I played this year, and might be the worst game I’ve beaten in a long time. All of this mind you is multiplied by the fact that the game has 2 sequels that are basically the same thing but better. It’s like how people don’t really talk much about Sonic 1 because Sonic 2 is just better in every way while also being basically the same thing. Mega Man 1 is also talked about in this fashion. But I don’t see too many people (more than I thought though after I lambasted this game in my Discord server) hating on the first Crash game. I’m shocked this series even took off because this game is just frustrating and mocking the player at every turn.

To start with, yes I’m playing the remake. From what i’ve been told by friends the physics are the same as what they were in the original. I’ve also seen conflicting accounts online that it uses Crash 3’s physics, and then other sources say it uses Crash 2’s physics. Ultimately, i’m willing to believe some of the precision isn’t nearly as awful in the original, but on the other hand, some of the easier difficulty aspects like being given masks after so many deaths or extra checkpoints were also added which balances things out in terms of which version is worse. On top of that apparently if you wanted to get every boxes in the original you had to do every level with zero deaths. I’ll get into how awful 100 percent is for this game in a bit, but fuck that. Also the original was programmed for the D-pad, but ultimately i’m going to tell you playing the remake with a control stick is still ass so I don’t think that’s a mark against the original. Ok where to begin? Well to start with as I mentioned above the physics in this game are ass. It’s possible it’s because a different momentum system was applied to overly precise levels but even if the momentum is the same, some of the precise jumps they ask you to do in this game are insane at times. There are so many 2D levels that have several vertical jumping sections that one wrong move sends you plummeting back to the bottom. Or a few horizontal sections with multiple small platforms or enemies you need to jump on. It reminds me of DKC Tropical Freeze when you only have DK, you pretty much have to be spot on with your jumps or you’re screwed. And while the many 2D levels are annoying, the traditional Crash Style hallway levels are also to blame for my rage. Those stupid bridge levels can go jump off a cliff, they’re horrendous, asking the player to land on a tiny plank multiple times while dodging WILD HOGS. It got to the point where I said screw it, found out you could walk on the railing of the bridge, and cheated my way to victory. Don’t get me wrong precision platforming can be very fun, but it never feels rewarding here. If I fail it’s because the level is a long ass gauntlet or because of the weird perspective at points that throws you off. Or again, because if you don’t jump at the last possible moment you will fall. Add into this the fact that like most bad old game it has a lives system and a game over sends you all the way back to the start of the level, and you can see why it just gets tedious. Maybe if other aspects of the game felt rewarding I wouldn’t be too annoyed by the platforming, but no the game is the opposite of rewarding. So the big thing with Crash is that you need to smash all the boxes in a level to get a gem. Can be a fun time in theory, though more often than not they get it wrong. In Crash 4 the levels were also long slogs, with some boxes hidden in a way that if you missed one you had to do it all over again. Long levels and the box mechanic don’t really go together, and unfortunately most of Crash 1’s levels are overly long. That would be fine though, if it wasn’t for the fact that 90 percent of the time YOU CAN NOT GET ALL THE BOXES ON THE FIRST RUN OF THE LEVEL. Why? Because multiple levels lock a few boxes behind a colored gem….that you will not be able to get until a future level in most cases. This means wasting your time until you realize this, and even after if you do want to do 100 percent it means slogging through the level again. And keep in mind I didn’t have fun the first time so there was no way in hell that I was going for a 100 percent. But that’s not good enough for the game. You didn’t get all the boxes? Well shame on you, how could you be so bad at games. Because of your crimes against gaming we’re going to proceed to smash a billion boxes that you missed on your head to make it hit home how awful you are at this game. Like seriously, you couldn’t get all the boxes? 

No game I couldn't because LITERALLY I NEEDED A GEM FROM A FUTURE LEVEL. This aspect of the game just infuriates me because I hate it when games feel the need to mock the player. 100 percent doesn't even feel that important in the game, so making a big deal out of it just rubs me the wrong way here. The box crashing animation is so bad, in Japan it was taken out because it was making kids cry. So ok the levels are mostly unfun slogs, 100 percent is a fool's quest, what about the bosses? Surely the bosses are a good time? Ha…Ha..ha, what do you think? The first boss is easy enough, but the second boss requires you to jump over small platforms above water to hit TNT boxes that will hopefully be timed to explode when a deranged kangaroo is jumping by to damage him. Sounds easy enough, but instead of flowing constantly through the water, the TNT boxes stop at each platform for a bit. When you stomp on them they stop moving for good so that they can explode, but while in theory the waiting is good to allow people an easier time to jump on them…they just take forever. So it causes this battle to drag. On top of that, small platforms and Crash 1 = precision jumping meaning I died a lot. Ripper roo sucks, and it’s hilarious because his battle in 2 is a joke, but here it made me want to pull my hair out. Most of the other bosses aren’t as bad but they all have elements of just…taking forever. Koala Kong is easy enough but he just takes so long to do anything. Other bosses like the weird gangster rat and N Brio aren’t horrible but also aren’t really fun either. Ultimately just get rid of the bosses, you already have stupid long levels we don’t need the bosses dragging this game out any longer.  Other negatives are the overuse of really bland locals, like dank tombs, dank castles and dumb bridges. I will say the Levels in Cortex’s lab are generally ok, feeling more like something you’d see in crash 2 with less precision, but overall most of the levels just felt like they were wasting my time. Music is whatever, it’s fine but for having to re do these levels over and over could you give me something catchy to listen to? Crash himself is ugly, but at least the remake let’s me play as Coco instead, and she functions basically identical to Crash himself.

I honestly don’t know how this series got popular. Maybe it was the novelty of the more 3D style levels but if you want precision platforming there are much better games. Crash is at it’s best when your collecting stuff in short levels and trying to do the levels fast (something Crash Warped would be perfect) and none of that exists here. Could I have 100 percented this game? Sure but why if i’m not enjoying myself? I never felt rewarded finishing a level here, I just felt relieved it was over. Anything good Crash 1 does is just done better in the later Crash game or is done better by a different platformer.  If you like Crash 1, more power to you, but to me it’s going straight in the trash.

[monstersandmaw]

Hey, first off - I LOVE Gabe and Odessa's story. Gabe's POV is the preview is just SO GOOD! Would you object to me writing some fanfiction from Gabe's POV for some parts of season one? I wanted to run it by you first since this is your series, and I didn't want to step on any toes.

Eh, I'm in two minds about this, and I'm fully aware I come off as a hypocrite either way, so please be gentle with me. Also I'm quite tired when I'm answering this so I may not be as articulate as I'd like.

First of all, thank you, and thank you for asking. I'm deeply honoured that you like Gabe and Odessa's story enough to be inspired to create, so please don't forget that with the rest of this, and take it all with a pinch of salt at the end of the day.

Basically, I want to publish this story formally to sell it as a complete novel (once it's had another full edit and tidy up). I therefore don't want to muddy the waters by having more 'Gabe & Odessa' content out there, even if it's fanfic, which is the main reason I'm not 100% behind there being fanfic of them.

However, there is an interlude from Gabe's POV that I published, and some of Season Two is from Gabe's POV, so I'm also protective of his POV in a way I really should probably just let go of... This is mostly because you haven't really got to know Gabe yet (since S1 was all Odessa's POV), and there are a lot of details about him and his character and backstory that I've deliberately saved for 'Season Two' (and beyond!!💍)...

Thirdly, it was posted by me on here for free, with love, and I'm weird about there being fanfic (i.e. content in the same format) based on something I shared with you just because I loved it. Fan art is different (for me) because it's a different medium, but I don't know if I have any right to be protective over any kind of fan content really... I have a weird and hypocritical line in the sand that if it's an OC that I posted for free as a passion project, it's not super cool to write fanfic for them, but if it's something that's been fully and finally released in its entirety (especially if there's a commercial aspect to it) then it's ok to write fanfic for it??? I have no idea. Basically, you're welcome to write fanfic for it after I've published it on Kindle and finished the project, but not on Tumblr when it's still ongoing?? How weird is that?? Ughh. I hate my brain and my heart. That's the bit I meant seemed hypocritical. I fully support the production of fan content online, but not when it was just 'my random blorbo whom i love and shared for free with you'??

Ultimately though, if you want to write it, I can't and won't stop you.

I'd really prefer it if you didn't post or share it publicly, and honestly it really is mainly because I don't want there to be more G&O content out there that could lead a future publisher to say 'hey, we looked into it and there's G&O content out there, and it's gonna complicate the process of publication..' but also for the other reasons listed above.

Thank you for asking, and since you asked, those are my thoughts on it.

[irismono]

Aight, waffles are yet to materialize so I'm gonna get my project list outlined.

In order of priority/how ready I am to work on them:

The Redwall Retrospective

Basically I'm rereading the series at roughly 1 book a week, and vlogging it on my mostly-dormant YouTube channel. I'll do a Jenny Nicholson style multi-hour video at the end. Currently working on Mariel of Redwall. Will get a link up to the logs for the first three books.

Red Fraction

My take on the "Pyrrha Lives" (Stomp Stomp) style of fix-it-fic. Got some fun ideas for it. Basically got Pyrrha's consciousness split into pieces across several characters, with the ultimate goal being recombining them all. See the opening for Black Lagoon if you want a sneak peek at chapter titles.

RWBY Modern AU (No solid name as of yet)

Man I love AUs, AUs are cool. And I've got some fun ideas for this one. Ruby and Jaune married for tax reasons? Got it. Coco Adel, the wholesome Yuri manga addict? Check. Gauntlets and Greaves? Hell yes, I read some baller GnG fics last year and I've been hooked ever since. There's other stuff too, but I've had trouble figuring out a main plotline, which is why I have...

Old Masters

This is a side story (or perhaps pre-sequel?) for my Modern AU, and one that has a defined plot line. The last generation's megahit pop duo was "Young Masters", made up of Ozma "Ozzy" Calavera and (The Pseudonymous) "Salem". The two had a fairly consistent will-they, won't-they subplot in their music and stage performances, until it came out pretty publicly that "they did", and the act (and relationship) broke up in a rather messy fashion.

Now some (insert number) years later, Salem has a grown up daughter, Oz is still trying to get his solo career off the ground, and neither of them are really happy. They meet by chance, and eventually (though with much pain) reconcile. Don't know all the details yet, but leaning towards a secret romance between Oscar (Ozma's Nephew) and Salem's daughter (either Emerald or Ciel, undecided) being part of it.

To aru Isekai no Tabibito (A certain otherworldly traveller)

It struck me one day that Semblances are rather close to ESPer abilities when it gets down to it. Thus, a RWBY x Toaruverse crossover feels pretty natural, at least to me. My thought: RWBY (and probably JNPR) find themselves dropped into Academy City with minimal equipment and have to figure out their way around.

The Bard for Advanced Systems

Don't know how big Advanced (as in 1st edition) Dungeons and Dragons is on Tumblr, but I take a great deal of issue with 1e's handling of the Bard. I can expand on why in another post if anybody's interested. TBFAS would be an essay and class write up of my idealized Bard Class, probably looking most similar to the 1e Monk in design style. I've got some ideas, I just need to set them in motion.

RWBY x Pokemon Special

More "nifty idea" than anything else. Pokemon Adventures was my first Manga, and I'd like to cross it over with RWBY at some point, probably by dropping RWBY characters in as trainers/Dex Holders. Could even do a full swap, but I'm less sure on that point.

As you may have gathered from the above, I have a penchant for RWBY fanfiction. This is because it is a world I have grown comfortable in, and the fandom I first explored fanfiction within. I haven't actually seen Volume 8, and am not planning to watch volume 9, and really I think things have been going downhill somewhat since... Well actually the show was always a bit of a mess if I'm being honest.

That all said, the world is great, and the characters, as interpreted by FNDM, are also pretty great, and rife with opportunities for cool storytelling.

What's that? Surely I'm forgetting something? Are half a dozen projects I want to work on not enough?

Okay fine, I've got some original works as well, but waffles are just about ready so I'll share those in another post.

[hchollym]

I dont get why you think the twins and Percy were close. The twins were happy when Percy left. They said they were well shot of him or something, I dont remember the exact words.

The exact quote is:

“I think we’re well shut of him,” said George with an uncharacteristically ugly look on his face. 

“What’s happened?” Harry said. 

“Percy and Dad had a row,” said Fred. “I’ve never seen Dad row with anyone like that. It’s normally Mum who shouts. . . .”

I don't see this as the twins hating Percy; if anything, it's the opposite. People don't tend to get angry when someone they don't care about leaves - they get angry when people they do care about leave, because it hurts. 

And yes, they are angry (in a similar way that I think Percy was angry at his parents and Bill - see this post), but it was also exacerbated by their childhood experiences.

Arthur worked constantly. We see plenty of evidence of this in the books, and even when he wasn't working, he spent a lot of time in his garage. The twins had their mom, but she had her hands full, so who stepped in the most to help her? Not Bill, who left for Hogwarts when the twins were 3, or Charlie, who left when they were 5; both of whom also moved to different countries immediately after graduating.

Percy is the one that was always around. And considering how much of a mother hen he was (see linked post above), it's very likely that he had to take on more of a parental role to help his mom. I also think it's telling that, unlike his older brothers, he stayed at home for an extra year after graduation, even though he had plenty of reasons to want to leave.

Furthermore, Percy was likely more of a father-figure than Arthur was, almost by default, because he was around much more. Now, I don't think the twins ever thought about it like that directly - they didn't ever think of Percy as "dad" - but some of the subconscious emotions were still there. 

That type of thing can cause a whole slew of issues, including resentment on both sides, which we clearly see. As they got older, the twins wanted Percy to act more like a brother than a dad, but that's a hard habit to change, especially with Percy's overall personality. 

Yet despite that, ultimately, the twins felt much stronger about Percy leaving because it felt similar to being left by a parent instead of a brother, and that hurts.

They weren't nearly as hurt (or hurt at all) by Bill and Charlie leaving. Yes, Percy left in a much more intense way than his brothers, but there are several instances in the books (even before the argument) where the twins resented Percy more than the others. 

“Beds empty! No note! Car gone — could have crashed — out of my mind with worry — did you care? — never, as long as I’ve lived — you wait until your father gets home, we never had trouble like this from Bill or Charlie or Percy —” 

 “Perfect Percy,” muttered Fred.

Their mom lists Bill and Charlie first; she doesn't even emphasize Percy, and yet, that's what Fred focuses on. It's not because he hates Percy (we see plenty of evidence to the contrary - again, see linked post above); it's because Percy was in a no-win situation trying to balance being a brother and a parent; a situation that his parents unfortunately put him in.

It's also interesting that after Percy leaves, Fred and George bring him up the most out of all the siblings (4 separate times). Why would they do that if they didn't care and were relieved that he was gone?

And the fact that Fred and George were the very first people to forgive Percy when he apologized - even before their mom - shows that they loved him very much. They didn't hold a grudge; they were just happy to have him back. Fred even stuck by Percy's side during the fight instead of looking for George - his literal other half - when they were separated, and I think that also says something about the strength of their relationship.

To summarize, even though there were toxic elements to their relationship (mostly due to their parents' actions), I do think Percy and the twins were close, and I definitely don't think the twins were happy when Percy left.

[yinses]

meticulously

| you just needed him to do this one thing … then you wouldn’t ask for anything more | sukuna ryomen rating: 18+

a/n: we only accept au sukuna in this nandos. my second longest work to date and its sukuna.

maybe it was because you were tired of hearing it all.

about how you were such a good girl. so ambitious and focused on your studies. they made it seems so honorable that you were willing to put boys on the back burner in order to achieve your goals.

as if you had a choice.

as if you weren’t a timid little thing who incidentally teased the edges of something before falling back the recesses of your comfort zone. how many apps had you applied for only to waste the time of yourself and others. those sites were never meant to find true love- just conveniently hook ups to release pent up stress.

and you had a lot of it.

so maybe that's why you decided that it was okay to have a little more to drink tonight- to wander further from your friends into the wilderness. you could have one day to make a bad decision and face the consequences for it.

clubs were never your thing which was likely another reason why you were in this drought.

it wasn’t as easy as you thought it would be, as old habits die hard. every so often you were approached with promises of drinks and suggestive conversation. and each one you shied away from and earned a scoff before they already started in pursuit of their next challenge.

it was possible that you were doing it wrong. you lacked the confidence to just ask for what you wanted, mostly because you didn’t know.  play coy, they told you, make them do the work for you.

so you find yourself on the dance floor instead with a new strategy. lost among the masses with the bass thrumming in your veins. here there would be no room for talk.

it only takes one song for you to feel him behind you. he doesn’t whisper sweet things in your ear. instead, his hands start at your hips, just a brush of touch to see how you react. when you don’t move away, he pulls you close and moves your hips in slow circles.

you’re immediately attracted to his confidence. in the way he guides your hand upward, instead of lower, encouraging your hand to grip at the short of his hair. the angle it provides is an open invitation for him to begin placing open mouthed kisses up the length of your neck. when he reaches your ear he pauses, and you hear the dark timber of his voice.

“i saw you turning away all those little boys earlier. what are you looking for, kitten?”

kitten. you shiver at the name.  main characters in novels always turned into a giddy mess over the pet name, losing themselves to the velvety whispered promises and underlying possession. the name brought more of a thrill than anything else; to know that he had been watching you in the distance.

you fight the urge to turn, wanting to stay in the moment for as long as you could. for some reason, like this, you think you could become the person he thinks you are. someone who knows what she wants and doesn’t accept anything less. back at the bar, men asked you too many questions and allowed the opportunity for your insecurities to bleed through.

like this, you only needed to admit one thing.

“i want you.”

its stupid and reckless. he could be a list of anything dangerous yet you advanced him to the top of the list. it was too early to tell but you hope he could be the one. then all of of the little details wouldn’t matter. you were here to lose your first time, not remember it.

you don’t expect him to use the grip on your hips to turn you, the sudden shift and lingering alcohol leaving you disoriented for a moment.

he was tall, though you had judged so from the reach it took to curl your fingers into his nape. the hair you had been blindly acquainted with turned out to be an unusual pale shade of pink. but it worked for him, and the interesting accompaniment of vermillion eyes. you were just starting to account the black lines of dark ink peeking from under his sleeve when his voice drew your attention back to his face.

his grin was telling. he wanted you to take him in because he knew you’d like what you saw. he doesn’t even need to ask. it was too early to tell if he was calling your bluff or enabling it.

he brings his mouth down to hover above yours, lips brushing as he speaks,”so your place or mine?”

this is what you needed, no thoughts beyond what your bodies could offer. this was the man who would take your virginity.

the first sign of hesitance you show is when offering your home. it was close enough to the campus and your neighbors would hear your scream if your ignorance turned out to be your undoing. he agrees, naturally, because why would he turn down a willing lay?

your fingers fumble quickly and shakily as you quickly text your friends that you’re bringing someone back. the answers vary from concern, to disbelief, to excitement and back to apprehension. ultimately, your roommates agree to leave the apartment to you for the night but vow to turn up first thing in the morning.

all the while, his hand is at the small of your back as he guides you towards the entrance. the icy cold air that hits you when you step outside is unkind to the thin sheen of sweat you’d accumulated. the price paid to look good rarely came cheap. the heat radiating from behind you was less of a comfort and more of a reminder as you shift from foot to foot in wait for a taxi.

“ names’ sukuna.”

it came as a jest rather than to inform. the way your eyes widen in realization proving that you’d skimmed over that step unintentionally. the men prior had offered it up without prompting as if it as their key trait in the introductions. while you’d grinded on this man for nearly two songs and hadn’t even thought to ask.

you stumble over your own name and his grin widens further.

he leans close enough for your visible breaths to mingle.

“you’re so fucking cute, kitten. i can’t wait to unwrap you.” 

and then he was kissing you senseless.

he tastes of whiskey and menthol, a savory smokiness that would be a lingering flavor for hours to come. there was a unique sense of excitement that came from kissing a stranger. the anxiousness blurred the lines between your thoughts and emotions. his tongue met yours and swept it into a fast, claiming pace.

just when your hands rose to find purchase on his shirt, the incoming headlights fanned against your joined bodies. sukuna, the apparent level-headed one, pulled away for you.

“don’t worry, we’ll have plenty to explore soon.”

sukuna surprisingly does not encroach on your space in the back of the taxi. his arm rests comfortably along the back of your seat, but his fingers don't chase the easy access to the back of your neck there. it makes you annoyingly anxious as your knee jumps in place. you refrain from looking at him in the corner of your eye already knowing what awaits you on his lips.

the remainder of the drive is short and uneventful.it takes less than ten minutes between the club and the arrival at your front door. you impress yourself with the lack of tremors as you fit your key into the door and welcome you into your home.

the light from the kitchen highlights only what you need to make it to your bedroom without injury. too many had happened before that became habitual prior to any night out.

there is a rattle in your spine as you carefully pull one shoe off than the other. its an action that you take your time with as you gather your thoughts. when you look back at him, he hasn’t wandered a step from the entrance, though his gaze travels where the light allows. at the feel of your gaze he cocks a brow,”i’m waiting on you kitten.”

right.

this was happening.

you’d made it this far.

tilting your head, you lead him to your bedroom without another word. you’re thankful that your widow sits in view of the night sky, taking the place of any artificial light you might have to provide.

every muscle is as stiff as a board as you toss your shoes into a corner. your mouth opens to stupidly point out that this is your room.

sukuna laughs, because why wouldn’t he after learning the mysterious vixen not only had a name but was a timid little thing. still he didn’t cater to your anxiety nor did he allow it to slow his pace.

his arms flex as he reaches behind himself to pull at his shirt from the tag. you’d caught glimpses of his tattoos in the darkness of the club without really looking, but you haven't been able to connect the lines of a pseudo sleeve. the double bands circle both wrists and biceps with encompassing circles swirling around his shoulders. it was a simple yet uniform pattern. you could just see the beginning of another figure curing from behind his neck as well.

“i’m starting to think that i should just be flattered when you get quiet like that.”

his hand makes itself home again at your waist as he walks you backwards until the edge of your bed knocks against the back of your knees. sukuna keeps you from falling back while his fingers go to curl at the hem of your dress.

“it’s only fair,” he says in your ear, as if the removal of his shirt was any kind of equivalence.

he helps you along the way, or maybe makes it worse as he starts to kiss your neck. his hands slide along every new available inch of skin from your thighs to your navel. he shamelessly cups your bra, squeezing the mounds in appreciation.

sukuna pulls away to rid you of the dress entirely. before you can adjust to the loss, he leans back in to unhook your bra as an afterthought.

he grins when you immediately bring your arms over your exposed chest,”don’t be shy. this is what you wanted, right?”

you don’t miss the implied probe behind the tease. it's faint but it’s comforting to know he’s still seeking consent and it eases a bit of your anxiety.

it makes you pliant enough for him to cup the backs of your thighs and lie you back against the sheets. though the moment your bare skin comes in contact with the sheets with his broad form hovering over you, all the brief conviction shrivels up.

your hands curl into the bedding for leverage when his weight is suddenly there to ease you back down. his arms slip around you to anchor you in place, pinning you under the hard warmth of his chest. his lips meet your ear, tongue sliding along the shell,” these mixed signals are going to get old real quick, kitten. “

there is a warning there but you don’t know what exactly it alludes too. how could you when you’d invited a complete stranger into your home.

but sukuna seems to know what to look for, eyes carefully watching the way you shy away from his touch yet draw yourself back on your own. he’s attune to the push and pull, seeming to understand the paradoxical conundrum that you’d drug him into.

you can just barely catch the cut of his smile in the darkness,”are you a virgin, kitten?” he asks, voice light and cool.

the way his body is keeping you in place makes it impossible for you to curl in on yourself, your embarrassment left on display.

“oh baby, if you let me, i’ll take good care of you.”

and how could you not agree to that?

he swallows your affirmation, tongue pushing into your mouth and making you groan.

“ ‘m gonna make you feel so good.”

his hands slide between the apex of your thighs to cup you, digits gliding along your covered slit. two fingers from his other hand press against the aperture of your mouth with the single command to suck.

you only hesitate briefly, tongue flicking out to taste the salt from his fingers. his impatience grows in the moment, idly feeding you a few inches until your lips hollow to stop him before he can reach the back of your throat. it feels more like a sloppy mess than anything remotely sexy as you drool around him, sucking harder to contain the wetness.

but sukuna seems to eat up the attention, idly thrusting in and out when he can. “you’re such a good learner,” he praises with hoarseness.

a garbled squeak manages to leave you as the elastic of your panties is pulled from your hips. you can feel the stick trail connecting you to the fabric, but seeing it is a whole new wave of mortification.

sukuna is able to tug them down to your ankles before your legs can lock up. “don’t be shy. i love filthy girls like you.“ your nerves jump to attention when he presses his thumb against your throbbing clit. “i can work with this.”

you gasp, lips losing their grip on his fingers, as you press your head back against the pillow. heat rises in the low of your stomach, a sensation that you’d never been able to achieve on your own. he starts with a single digit, easily making its way through your passage with the slick provided. his fingers crook in search of an ideal angle, making a sound of encouraging praise when you keen and rock your hips down for more.

your lashes flutter with the effort of keeping them open as he manipulates friction against your sex.without warning, he adds a second finger in alongside the first,”kitten you have no idea how happy i am that you grinded back against me on that dance floor.” the introduction allows for a scissoring action as he tests the stretch of your walls.

you’re happy to have the flat to yourself as the next whimper shatters your coherency, snapping any restraint that you had on your volume. sukuna chuckles at your cry, flexing his touch to reach new depths.

“i really wanted to see what you could do with your mouth but i don’t think i can wait.”

he gives one last swipe against the tackly mess before he fumbles with his belt. you don’t get offended when he only drops his pants far enough to free his cock. its distracting enough watching him stroke himself idly to fullness. sukuna harbors no shame as he cants his hips, fucking into the tight circle of his fist.

he pulls his wet fingers from your lips and you swallow around the absence.

you’re immediately grateful when he pulls out a condom, uncaring when the empty foil packet gets lost on your floor.

sukuna can feel the tightness as he palms your hip and positions himself at the stretch of your entrance.

“don’t go getting all nervous on me. i went through such a great deal to prepare you for this.”

his hand slides past your naval to grip your breast, rolling the hardening peak with his thumb. the lack of attention they’d received thus far acts as enticing interference.

he still doesn’t go for the unanticipated approach, keeping you vaguely aware by running the head of his cock up and down your dripping cunt.

it’s still easier said than done as all the reddit and gossip forums come reeling back the the forefront. you hadn’t even thought to get a towel, what if there was a lot of blood- too much? should you have gotten painkillers ?

above you sukuna tsks and you jolt from the sharp pain of him cruelly pinching your nipple. when you go to protest, he merely gives you a look, holding your gaze while his head drops take the abused bud into his mouth.

when he gives a particularly hard suck you know what’s coming as his hips roll up against you.

he’s big. of course he’s big given that he’s your first and all that you’ve had prior to your own fingers are his. sukuna expresses a show of kindness that you weren’t expecting with the initial push, as he uses his grip to ease himself in slowly.

it still burns; the uncomfortable stretch as he drags the friction of his cock past the slick barrier. but its not thee sharp punch you were expecting even before the base meets your pelvis. your hand darts up to smack against the hard flat of his stomach to stop him there but the centimeters separating you were barely negligible.

his mouth pops off of your breast with a wet sound as you pant, squeezing experimentally around the width of him. it was more manageable than you were anticipating, and you adjust your hips in another trial. the movement pulls a sharp hiss from his lips and his fingers clamp down tighter at the curve of your waist.

his vermillion eyes are no longer slits of concentration, now blown wide to contain the depth of lust simmering there. there is a shudder a he holds himself back from fucking into you. “if you’re done playing, i’d like to fuck you now.”

instinct drives you to reach around him, nails gripping traction around his shoulder blades as he grates his hips. the motion starts the first thrusts of many as sukuna introduces you to the truest definition of fucking.

its gradual, the way he picks up speed, introducing each part of you to himself before overpowering the nerves with a firmer touch.you should be embarrassed by the broken sounds leaving your mouth, but you can hardly remember your own name let alone decency.

sukuna on the other hand, relishes in the way he fucks you stupid, taking each bite of your nail and shattered speech with pride. “you have the prettiest fucking mouth for a virgin.”

it was impossible to accept the praise with the way he was knocking the sense from you with each thrust. he made it feel so good. all of it. from the inclination to the way he filled you up.

he continues to slam inside, breathing barely affected by the effort of pulling you apart at the seams. god he just doesn’t shut up. and you don’t want him too. they way he can make you hang from each word. 

you don’t know how he can handle words with all the smugness oozing from is lips, “i know you wouldn’t know the difference. but they’re typically so quiet- biting their lip and shit as if they’d scare away their own orgasm.”

“but not you baby. you fucking speak to me.” its not the kind of praise you were expecting but you latch on to it anyway. his arm comes around your waist and brings you forward to pin against his frame.

you don't know what possesses you to do so, mayve its the new proximity,  but your hands cup his face and bring his lips to meet yours. sukuna doesn't fight the action but his attention is elsewhere as your head bobs with the effort of keeping your mouths attached. ultimately it's the sharpness of your teeth against his bottom lip that prompts him to participate.

his tongue shoves past your lips to twist with yours. then he angles his hips just so and you sob. its an epiphany for you but its exactly what sukuna was looking for as he aims there again, and again, abusing that little patch of tissue that makes you witness nirvana.

sukuna drops a hand between your bodies to pass a thumb over your clit. he smirks when you jolt, still managing a perfect enunciation of your name even as his hips lose rhythm.

“all i need you to do tonight is come. can you do that for me, kitten?”

and you can, even without his instruction as your legs come up to squeeze around him despite the tremors. hot pleasure radiates up your spine from the source, washing over you in waves as you spill around him. it feels incredible to finally be able to let go. fuck, you don’t know if anything else will be like this first time. but you’re damn sure not going to forget it anytime soon.

even as your body falls pliant, sukuna keeps the pace as he chases his own release. the beginnings of bruises protest at your hips as he pounds a fragment tempo until he stills. the groan he lets out nearly brings you to a second orgasm as the sound shakes your body.

you’re thankful that he has enough energy to unhinge your legs from his hips, laughing to himself at the little trembles they give off. the act of him leaving you is a strange sensation to describe. despite the beating it took, your cunt still tries to hold him in.

it naturally earns you a crass comment as he uses the edge of your comforter to wipe himself down,”kitten, i don’t think you could handle another round of me.” you don't want to think about where he tossed the condom, just hoping that it was within the vicinity of the trashcan. but that was something future you would have to worry about.

you don’t offer him a place to stay and he doesn’t give you the opportunity to do so.

present you was starting to learn a new type of soreness as you gathered your legs against your chest and bring the blankets around your body. there wasn’t much of a delay as sukuna got dressed, tracing back his steps easily to his discarded shirt and tucking himself away long the way.

when he looks back at you, you must look like a child snuggled away for the night.

his looks at you with silent consideration. it was finally time to conduct the awkward ‘thank yous’ before the two of you parted ways forever. but at least it wasn’t you taking the walk of shame. though you don’t think it will be sukuna either with the swagger still linger in his step. 

it’s the blatant admission that you weren’t expecting, “ i like you. so i’ll leave my number for another time.”

that is not how a one night stand should end.

sukuna assumes you can’t handle the basic technological skill of adding his contact to your phone and proceeds to write it instead on the planner board posted by the door. it’s written so big you can just make out the numbers from the bed.

“be sure to call when you think you can handle me at my best.”

you wait, listening for the front door to click shut in his departure before you fall back against your bed. you should really be changing the sheets but you cant bring yourself to do more than roll onto your side.

you did it.

finally experienced all the gossip and jazz everyone talked out. 

and now you could focus and get back on track.

without prompt, your gaze drifted over to the dry erase board. sukuna had completely disregarded the individual squares dedicated to different days and messily scrawled his information between two weeks. it was a direct representation of the chaotic energy he gave off.

you would just clean it up in the morning along with any other remnants of this night.

...

or perhaps you could save as a sort of emergency contact.

you’d just discovered a new source of therapy after all. 

[unbridgeabledistances]

hi so @self-absorbed-pretty-boy (💖💖) sent me an AMAZING list of prompts a week ago and while i had truly no time this week to do as much writing as i wanted, here is a 4+1 thing i whipped up between classes that is pure husband fluff— i hope u all enjoy<3

prompt: the first time mickey calls ian his husband in front of a stranger (could be a cashier, a pharmacist, a cop, some weed buying college kids, you decide)

--

The first time that Mickey did it, he didn’t even really realize it— it was a slow Tuesday morning, just after their “honeymoon,” when he woke to the abrasive, slanted sunlight streaming in through the blinds. He immediately noticed that the house was silent, surprisingly quiet from any of the classic Gallagher clamor that usually bounced through the thin walls in the mornings, especially these days with Franny and Liam in their final weeks of the school year—and the absence of noise made Mickey curious enough to rub his eyes and open them, finally pulling himself out from the last warm dregs of sleep.

Ian’s arms were wrapped around him, a comforting spoon bear-hugging him in close, and Mickey took a moment just to take in the sensation of the solid, sleeping weight of him— he could feel the rise and fall of Ian’s ribcage pressed against his back and the soft fabric of the t-shirt that clung to Ian’s chest, the only barrier between him and Ian’s pink, sleep-warmed skin. Mickey rustled in Ian’s arms, reaching for his phone on the bedside table; and no wonder there were no cabinets slamming or lunches being packed or Debbie screaming that they had to get out the door— it was nearly noon for some fucking reason, and he and Ian were still sleeping like babies.

Which, okay, maybe that had to do with the fact that last night involved lots of tugs of hair and searing kisses and bodies pressed together until late into the night— Mickey felt his lips tick upward at the memory of it. But still— ever since returning a few days ago from their honeymoon in the dingy motel with the musty satin sheets, they had both been tired; the last few months had been compounded by a release from prison, a murdered P.O., the engagement shitshow, and a wedding to top it all off, and each incident had pushed a sense of normalcy more and more off-kilter, until finally they both just had to crash.

There was no mistaking that this was harder, more draining, for Ian; he was trying to sink back into a routine existence in the Gallagher house after all of the events of the past few months, and it was clear that he was still reeling from the shift— Mickey could see it now, in the way that Ian was so deeply sleeping well past noon, a dead weight pressed close against him.

Mickey scooted himself up to a seated position on the bed, letting Ian’s arm limply fall off of him and cascade onto the bedsheets with a muted thud—and again, he let himself take a moment to just look at Ian, his mouth parted and breathing steadily, the light coming in through the blinds illuminating the constellations of freckles smattered across his face and cheekbones, threads of sunlight weaving between the strands of bright, rusty hair on the top of his head that were partly splayed onto the pillow. Since getting home Ian had been slicking his hair back less now, and letting it grow wiry and wild and curled—Mickey fucking loved it, and he couldn’t resist reaching a gentle hand out to brush Ian’s hair back from his forehead, feeling its mossy give. He took it all in; the tides of Ian’s even breathing, his fully relaxed face, and the blossoming blue rings of exhaustion that were still there under his eyes, even in his sleep; and Mickey felt a swell of gratefulness that Ian was still sleeping soundly, that he could sleep all fucking day if he needed to, at least for now while they were just getting back and settling into a rhythm—if Ian deserved anything, he deserved to recharge.

Mickey silently sat beside him, absentmindedly scrolling through his phone and every so often running a hand through Ian’s hair—because, fuck it, his husband was sleeping next to him, soft and warm, and something about touching Ian always grounded him. He was leaning propped on a pillow he’d shoved between his back and the wall, and was just beginning to contemplate putting on the tattered robe he’d found in one of the stray bedroom drawers and dragging himself downstairs to make some coffee when he heard a buzz from Ian’s phone on the nightstand, and saw the screen flash with a silent alarm:

“PICK UP MEDS”

So ultimately that was the reason why Mickey forced himself to crawl out of bed that morning— or afternoon was more accurate— and detached himself from the cocoon of his husband’s warmth to go for what was usually Ian’s own Tuesday morning walk every month before his shitty shifts with Paula to go over to the pharmacy and get his meds. He bounded down the front steps of the Gallagher house, turning the corner to walk down a few blocks to where the sagging houses turned to the brick storefronts and neon signs of the few ramshackle businesses that were left on the Southside. Since getting back a few days ago, he and Ian had barely done anything except lounge around the house with everyone, settling in— and now Mickey realized how long it had been since he’d gone for a walk outside, breathing in the not-so-fresh Chicago air that smelled of gas exhaust and cigarette smoke, but also of something earthen and familiar. Sunbeams were radiating off of the sidewalk, and the air was cool, like the late spring weather had finally just broken into something crisp and clear— Mickey let his feet carry him over the pavement past the dingy corner store with the faded sign hanging crooked above the awning, and then two more doors down to the business with the glowing red and white sign that read “SAVE RITE PHARMACY.”

Mickey entered the pharmacy, hearing the tinkle of a bell as he pushed through the glass door.

There was no one really in the store on a Tuesday afternoon— his eyes adjusted to the waves of artificial light bouncing off the white shelves that contrasted with the soft glow outside. Mickey made his way through the aisles to the pharmacy counter at the back of the store, and was met with a middle aged woman in a lab coat typing on a computer.

“Hey. I’m, uh, pickin’ up for Gallagher.” Mickey slid his ID over the linoleum counter, quickly doing a double-take to make sure that this was a real ID and not one of his fake ones; not that it would really matter anyways, no one was getting high off of whatever shit Ian was taking on the daily.

The woman glanced at Mickey’s ID over the rim of her classes, then clicked the mouse a couple of times.

“Gallagher. Just one moment.”

She turned and filed through a few organized-looking bins, and retrieved a crinkly white paper bag and placed it on the countertop. Mickey stood there in silence, listening to the heavy thud of keys typing on the desktop computer.

“And who are you in relation to Mr. Gallagher?”

Mickey opened his mouth—and for just a millisecond, he let himself pause. Usually he just said “partner,” or sometimes “family” when the situation required him to be vague—but in this moment, he had a flashing realization. They were married—and today he got to drop that word, and all the weight of it, into the empty aisles of the drugstore on a Tuesday afternoon. Mickey cleared his throat.

“S’my husband.”

Mickey couldn’t help it—there was some weird, warm, giddy rush in his chest as he said it. It wasn’t natural yet, and he almost fumbled over the word as it fell out of his mouth, like a kid trying to swear for the first time— but he said it. And the pharmacist barely flinched—which, thank fuck for that, after the whole geriatric florist incident a few months ago. She just gave him a curt nod, a half-smile, and she handed Mickey the paper bag and a printed receipt and sent him on his way.

And so what if Mickey stopped at the grimy corner store on the way home and bought a pack of cigarettes for himself and a fucking Kind bar for Ian, because he knew he liked that shit— and so what if there was a little extra bounce in his step as he walked back from the store, his arms swinging by his sides in the cool, early summer breeze as his feet hit the sunwarmed pavement and he headed home to his husband who was curled up in the warm safety of their bed, sound asleep.

His husband.

**

The second time it also just sort of… tumbled out of Mickey’s mouth, a little more naturally this time. It was a day or two later, and he and Ian had finally rejoined the land of the living— and to Debbie, that meant that the two of them were now available to be drafted into a circuit of random chores and errands with lists of shit to pick up, tasks that Ian tried to squeeze in between shifts at his new warehouse job and that Mickey mostly just ignored. But much to Mickey’s dismay, there was no getting out of their assignment this afternoon; Debbie had some hotshot welding gig on the Northside and Frank was nowhere to be fucking found, and Liam needed a parent or guardian to come to his parent-teacher conference at the end of the school year. Liam had softly voiced this information in the swirling hurricane of conversation at dinner the evening before, and Ian couldn’t resist saying that he and Mickey would go, even though Mickey had repeatedly kicked his shins hard under the kitchen table and passed him a series of dagger-like glares. Mickey didn’t realize why Ian had volunteered the both of them to go to this shit— it was Ian’s brother, not his— but after lots of long glances and fucking puppy-dog eyes and some very intense manipulation the night before, when Ian whispered into the crook of Mickey’s neck at a very inconvenient time and said with a mischievous smile “C’mon Mick, I don’t want to go alone”—well, let’s just say that was how Mickey ended up weaving through the sweltering, barren hallways of Liam’s public school on some random muggy summer afternoon with Ian, trying to find Liam’s teacher’s classroom.

As much as Mickey did not want to be here right now, in the paint-chipped locker-lined halls of the public school that mostly just brought up a lot of angsty memories of dirt under his fingernails and cardboard signs written with sharpies and pasted up with duct tape, the whole thing also felt vaguely nostalgic— like those days before everything went to shit and he’d gotten married to Svet, just after he’d busted the fuck out of juvie and was trying with all of his might to force down all the tidal waves of feelings he had about gangly fucking teenage Gallagher with his crew cut and his camo pants—and walking through the halls next to Ian, feeling his tangible presence beside him, was enough to keep Mickey’s mind from veering into other darker places about his own wasted potential.  

“Where the fuck is this room, anyways?” Mickey huffed out. All the rows of lockers looked the fucking same, and all Mickey wanted to do right now was go home and lay back on the couch and sip a cold beer, instead of standing in this stuffy hallway with sweat dripping down his neck.

Ian playfully elbowed Mickey between his ribs. “We’re in Liam’s school, Mick. You’re not supposed to say ‘fuck.’”

“Fuck you.” He flipped Ian off for good measure.

Ian halted in front of a closed classroom door, glancing down at the slightly crumpled piece of paper that Liam had written his class number on.

“I think this is it.” Ian softly rapped his knuckles on the classroom door, and a young woman in a pencil skirt appeared to open it.

“Hi, lovely to meet you both. You must be Liam’s dads?”

Mickey spluttered out a laugh, a surprised noise catching in his throat. His first feeling was a flicker of annoyance at this random lady, that always popped up anytime someone so immediately knew he was gay, which probably had to do with some deeply internalized shit— but his second feeling was a warm sort of astonishment. Liam’s dads?

He and Ian could be someone’s fucking parents someday. Fuck.

Ian’s cheeks had turned slightly pink, like he was equally as affected by the assumption— so Mickey spoke up, trying not to sound like his insides were squirming as much as they were.

“Nah, man, you got it all wrong. I mean— not totally wrong, he is my husband. But we’re not his dads.”

Ian’s ears nearly perked up when he heard the word— this was the first time they’d called each other husbands so casually out in the world, while they were both in each other’s presence. A crooked smile crept onto Ian’s face, and he tentatively reached out to ensnare Mickey’s fingers in his.

“Yup. Husbands.”

Liam’s teacher just looked at them, raising her eyebrows expectantly, like she was slightly confused.

“Alright. So, who are you to Liam, then?”

Ian let out a quick breath of a laugh. “Oh, right. I’m Liam’s brother.”

And as Ian led him by the wrist to sit beside him in a fucking uncomfortable plastic chair meant for ten-year-olds, chattering away with Liam’s teacher, all Mickey could think about was the blood rushing hot, hotter than usual between his ears.

He didn’t know if he’d ever get tired of calling Ian his husband.

**

Mickey had never given much thought to pet names, or any sort of frilly bullshit like that, with Ian—every time that he called Ian something that wasn’t just “Ian” or “Gallagher,” it was some punchy and witty nickname that he’d concocted in the moment in an attempt to make a smile burst onto Ian’s face, with “sugar-tits” and “babyface” being his personal all-time favorites; but never any of that sappy bullshit that other couples called each other, like “babe” or “honey” or other garbage.

But, fuck. Fuck if Mickey didn’t love the fact that he could call Ian his “husband” now, that he was allowed to just do that, whenever anyone was in earshot.

It was a late night at the Alibi, the first time that most of the Gallaghers had been out of the house since the pandemic started; the mayor had finally loosened some restrictions, and Kev had sent a text to the Gallagher family group chat with way too many cork-popping emojis telling everyone to come by the Alibi after their respective evening shifts—and when he and Ian had walked through the door nearly half of the neighborhood was there, including Sandy and Debbie, and a bunch of random Southsiders that most of them hadn’t seen for weeks or months.

Kev had immediately handed Mickey a foamy beer as he walked through the door, and readily poured Ian a shot of Jameson—and now the room was pressed tight with bodies, full of random-ass neighbors puffing on cigarettes and some music playing low, the air hanging heavy with the fog of secondhand smoke and boisterous conversation. At one point, after taking one too many sips of something, Sandy had convinced Kev to give her control of the aux cord—and now the music turned more upbeat, and some of the younger people in the room had started dancing, which obviously caused his over-enthusiastic husband to grab Mickey’s wrist from where he was seated at the bar and pull him into the crowd. And maybe it was just the fact that Mickey hadn’t been around so many people for so long, or maybe it was the fact that he could see that Ian was having a good time, his cheeks flushed and glowing in the dim lights— or maybe it was just that he’d had one or two more beers than usual, if he was being totally honest, but Mickey was feeling happy and light, feeling a buzzing in his veins.

And now they were dancing, and Mickey was just kind of shuffling side-to-side and probably looked ridiculous but he didn’t really care, and the room was getting hazier with smoke, and he could feel the heat rushing to his cheeks and the bass of the speakers thrumming in his chest and the rising tide of his pulse and he felt alive, alive—

And Ian’s body was pressed next to his, doing that stupid fucking dance move he always did where he just kind of bopped up and down with his hands raised above his head with the energy of a golden retriever— and Mickey couldn’t fucking help but lean in, pressing his lips close to meet the shell of Ian’s ear; and yes, they’d been married for a couple of months now, but he couldn’t help the airy feeling rising up, bubbling up in his stomach from the heat of the flames licking at his insides that made him whisper:

“We’re fucking husbands.”

Mickey knew Ian could feel his hot breath in his ear, could smell the whiskey on his lips—and Ian’s eyes lit up, his mouth splitting open in a tipsy grin.

Ian hummed and tilted Mickey’s chin up and pressed their lips together— there was light dancing in his eyes, and Mickey loved him, and he was his husband.

“Yeah. Husbands.” Ian murmured the words against Mickey’s mouth under the music, into the air between their lips.

“Fuck.”

And in that moment, Mickey realized that he’d never really known happiness before, not really— because nothing could fucking compare to the feeling of having his hands wrapped tight around his husband’s warm hips, while Ian’s arms were slung over his shoulders and Mickey could burrow his face into the sweet skin at the crook of Ian’s neck…

And yeah, maybe Mickey could get into the idea of calling Ian his husband a lot more often.

**

It was the evening on some run-of-the-mill weeknight after their security runs, and they were at that fancy hotel gym they’d gotten a trial membership of weeks before— Ian had loved the fancy weight machines and the steamed towels so much (and let’s face it, Mickey had also definitely enjoyed the fact that he could check guys out in the steam room) that Mickey had used some cash he had on hand (of questionable origin, which just made Ian frustratedly roll his eyes) to get them both a membership at the place for a month— and Mickey had to be honest, working out under mood lighting and mirrored walls with a bunch of chiseled gay dudes beat hauling kegs around the musty back room of the Alibi any day.

So now, they made a habit of stopping by the gym after work, typically parting ways after stripping off their camo by the lockers to go do their own thing in the weight room. At the current moment, Mickey was standing off to the side of the open floor plan, leaning against a weight rack and curling a 40 pound dumbbell into his bicep— but more accurately what he was doing was drooling over his husband, who was across the room with his tank top sticking to his skin, energetically hitting a static punching bag hanging from the ceiling. Mickey let his eyes bore holes into Ian from across the room, watching the sweat gleam on Ian’s body, watching his muscles ripple—and fuck, he was married to a fucking Greek god, like those fucking sculptures he saw in textbooks at school that made his blood run hot when he stared too hard, wasn’t he?

Mickey was so fixated on watching Ian that he barely noticed when his upper arm started to burn, and he realized that he’d forgotten to keep track of how many times he’d curled upward. Fuck it. Mickey bent down to place the weight back on the rack—and that was when he noticed another guy, some scrawny, slender dude wearing a neon-green tank top and with fucking hot pink sweatbands on his wrists, who had his eyes locked in on Ian from across the room almost intently as Mickey did.

Tank Top noticed Mickey staring at him and sheepishly smiled, putting a hand on his hip—and then in the spirit of light gym-time chatter, something Mickey was definitely not interested in entertaining, the dude opened his mouth.

“You think he’s gay?”

The old Mickey, Mickey from a few years ago, would’ve pummeled this guy’s sorry ass for even looking at Ian the wrong way, and even Mickey from a few months ago would’ve felt some sort of anxious panic or jealous fear that someone other than him desired Ian— but today there was a heavy band of silver pressing into Mickey’s finger, and he could feel the solid weight of it. So Mickey just raised his eyebrows, and gave a passive reply as he placed his dumbbell down and strolled past Tank Top Dude to walk across the room towards Ian:

“He’s my husband, asswipe.”

**

It was late— all there was in the empty room was a half-deflated air mattress, sinking under their weight. The streetlight beamed in through the paper-thin curtains— they would definitely have to invest in a better pair to block out the light, but that was an issue for tomorrow.

Right now Mickey and Ian were just sprawling out on the mattress, letting themselves sink into it—their few boxes of belongings were stacked along the wall, the papers had been signed, and now they could let themselves breathe.

Ian cradled the back of Mickey’s head in his hands, giving him a quick peck just above his eyebrow. “I’m fucking exhausted.”

Mickey breathed out a low chuckle. “Yeah, man, me too.”

Ian rustled, turning onto his side on the wobbly mattress to face Mickey fully. “‘Man?’ You’re my fucking husband. I think we can do better than that.”

Mickey smirked, leaning in close to hover over him. “Whatever you say, husband.”

[absolutebl]

Linguistic Fun In Thai BL - Pronouns & Honorifics

Pronouns & Honorifics between Thai BL Couples 

Couples that use polite pronouns with each other... 

For example:

I = Pom (the younger male) or own name, Phi or P (the older person)  

You = name (older to younger), P+name (younger to older) or just P (younger to older less formal) 

P’ is technically an honorific but it can also function as a pronoun. 

Note that all the above pictured couples have an age difference? That encourages a certain amount of politeness. You can see our two baby brats (Team & Duen) for exceptions to this. I’ll talk about them at the end.

Dean drops his honorifics a lot, but with everyone not just Pharm. His character is linguistically quite curt. 

Also there is a slight variant in Solo & Gui. Solo adopts the pet name “Guitar” instead of using P’Gui or just P (for you). But he does this only after obtaining permission. So I’m still listing them under the polite-couple heading. 

(Incidentally, Tan & Bunn in Manner of Death use the grown-up polite pronoun khun - you - with each other. Yet another way MoD is not BL.) 

Couples that use rude informal pronouns with each other... 

I = guu

You = mueng

Note that these couples are all the same age as each other? (Just FYI if you travel to Thailand as a tourist, please don’t use these pronouns.) 

Couples that use mixed pronouns with each other... 

Ae uses rude pronouns (guu/mueng), Pete uses VERY polite pronouns (he’s the only character I know who uses rao - old fashioned, cute, formal - for I/me as well as pom). They are the same age so honorifics don’t really come into play. Pete never defaults to rude pronouns even as a form of affection. 

This linguistic difference is used by the narrative to stress the class and income gap between Pete and Ae. Also, Pete’s way of speaking showcases his shyness, stiffness, childishness, and loneliness. Finally, you can also see Pete use formality of address to extract himself from sticky social situations - he is very good with his wai.

Rome uses polite pronouns and honorifics. Pick uses rude pronouns. Which is somewhat okay given Pick is older than Rome, but still amusing as it emphasizes their personality differences. Also it’s one way in which we can see Rome given confidence in Pick’s affection since Pick doesn’t bother to maintain formality but drops to guu relatively quickly. 

Tutor uses polite pronouns and honorifics with Fighter. Sometimes he uses them as if they were weapons to maintain distance. Fighter uses impolite pronouns with Tutor. Again this is a bit more okay because he is older, but also it shows a level of flirtatious interest and allowance. 

Sib uses polite formal adult pronouns with Gene in Lovely Writer (kind of like how you might talk to you parent’s friend, or in an office workplace). You can spot this specifically with his use of khun for you. Gene uses polite-pronouns at first, but they have discussions several times about what is going on, because Gene is confused as to why Sib doesn’t just use P’Gene with him. Gene eventually gets annoyed enough to drop to rude pronouns. Sib states that he intends to eventually call Gene something else and continues to use khun. The extreme variant in their resulting registers is kinda hilarious. 

Sky & Sun in Golden Blood I think are meant to be the same age (or Sun maybe older?) but Sky uses informal pronouns (as if he were older) while Sun uses formal pom etc... This is because of the class difference and the fact that Sun is  household employee. Interestingly, when Sky is imagining talking to Sun in a romantic way he uses P’Sun, but not in person. 

The Linguistic Brats of Thai BL... 

Linguistically Team and Win are adorably aberrant. 

Team drops the honorific P’ with Win almost immediately. While he maintains the use of polite pronouns, he usually calls Win hia. That’s brother as used by some Thai speakers who have Chinese heritage and is less formal than P’Win. It carries with it a certain quality of household intimacy. It is... erm... somewhat cheeky.  

Win, on the other hand, uses rude pronouns, but then he does that with lots of people. 

Win also applies emphasis to polite pronouns to make them seem sarcastic, e.g. nooong Pharm. 

Bohn and Duen are a fascinating pair because they actually discuss honorifics and pronouns as a plot device in their story arc. 

Duen drops the honorific and uses rude pronouns instantly with Bohn, even after realizing Bohn is older than him. This is SO RUDE. It’s difficult to articulate how extremely impolite this is. I think it’s one of the reasons Bohn likes Duen (obviously boy is attracted to brats). 

Duen is the only younger character I have ever seen do this in a Thai drama. (I gasped more at Duen’s pronoun use than the punch that preceded it.) 

This is why Thara is so confused when he encounters them in the clinic. Duen is throwing mueng and guu at Bohn like there is no tomorrow, but Thara knows Bohn is older. 

When Thara asks if they are friends he means intimate close friends of long acquaintance, since it is so unusual to use rude pronouns across an age gap. 

New Section MORE on... 

Thai Pronouns & Honorifics when Seme/Uke is Age Flipped

So this concerns personal pronouns in Thai when the uke/seme dynamic is age flipped. So the older boy (who normally carries the linguistic power/dominance) is the uke (or romantic submissive character). In other words, we are talking about a conflict between linguistic D/s and relationship D/s.

KongpobArthit - SOTUS

MarkKit - Gen Y

MingKit - 2 Moons franchise

SoloGui - Oxygen

SibGene - Lovely Writer

This involves delving into the fact that when Kong and Arthit speak to each other, despite the fact that he is older, Arthit uses pom for I when we expect him to use phi.

On the other hand, Gui usually use phi with his seme under similar age dynamics and relationship circumstances. So Gui is linguistically acting like a polite seme (Dean in UWMA, for example). Kit uses rude pronouns, so he is linguistically acting like a rude seme (Pick in Puppy Honey, for example).

I could only check SOTUS S as SOTUS is off Netflix in my territory and hasn't been uploaded back to GMMTV's YouTube. So I'm not sure if this holds during KongArthit's initial meeting and warring romance.

In the opening sequence of SOTUS S (them waking up together and getting ready for work) Arthit used:

pom and (of all things) káo.

I want to say I'm wrong on the káo because that is very odd for Arthit's character (lovey-dovey and mostly quite girly/cutsie). He also used khun for you at Kong which is super formal, although he mostly just calls Kong by name, and in an annoyed tone. So he's kinda all over the place.

Kong stuck with phi & P'Arthit for you, and pom for I. Which is normal for a younger polite uke character (like Pharm). So Kong is sticking to polite age language rules (and not letting seme influence him).

I think the fact that they both use pom is more an aspect that despite their flipped power dynamic across the age barrier, Arthit is way more agro and tsundere than Gui. (But why not just drop to rude pronouns then, like tsundere Kit?) One would be tempted to say Arthit should push the phi under those circumstances but I think Arthit's attitude is more: I don't even need the phi. It is odd though, you're right. Maybe there's a bit of Arthit still holding Kong at arms length by not using guu/mung with him (which he does use with his friends)? Guu/mung carries with it a certain amount of invited informality that might be seen as encouragement by a younger seme. It's interesting.

I've described Kong and Arthit as coming off as somewhat ace and I think maybe their linguistics are a bit that way too?

Solo/Gui are also skewed tho. Gui refers to himself as phi but pretty much everyone knows that the power dynamic is actually the opposite. Solo makes that clear regularly because he uses the pet name Guitar without honorifics (once he attains permission) constantly, which a younger boy would normally get swatted for as disrespectful. And the way Solo says that pet name is like it's this gift he's been given by Gui. It's clear Solo knows to value the fact that he has been handed the romantic power, and the ability to drop honorifics. But he sticks to pom for I and never crosses that line.

These two are just way more comfortable and settled into their roles and dynamics from the get go. Also Gui is a VERY caring and polite but also occasionally parental and strict for a uke, for all he's a total softie he does act older with Solo regularly. So for all that this is a pretty firm seme/uke dynamic there's flexibility to it around acts of service. Stil Gui’s use of phi for I with Solo probably ties to the fact that he may be uke but he still feels older and wiser than Solo.

Kit uses rude informal with Ming in 2 Moons 2. Ming uses pom for I and phi for you, as if he were younger uke, during his attempts at courting. When they are cuddling or confessing later on in the series (Ep 9 for example), Ming drops the P' and just calls him Kit, no honorific, while still using pom for himself. So that's mixed informality and more what I would expect from a younger seme.

I guess there is at lot of linguistic meat to be had around younger seme's coupled to older ukes in Thai BL, because there is a clear honorific struggle resulting.

I mean Lovely Writer has a whole series of scripted chats about this. Since Sib is clearly an extremely dominant seme what he calls Gene is of deep concern to him. He refuses to use P'Gene (when they meet as adults) mostly because it's too submissive for what Sib wants from Gene. So he defaults to adult very formal Khun in order to cover his ultimate desire (and linguistic conundrum). This also makes Gene seem a whole generation older than Sib, though. And people around them find it weird, especially as Sib doesn’t do this with an other older boys - only gene.

They jump through a ton of pronoun hoops and honorifics during the course of their relationship as a result. They settle into the same pattern as MingKit in the end, with Gene using rude informal guu/mueng and Sib using Gene's name with no honorific and pom for I.

Real world note

Fluke (Pharm) calls Ohm (Dean) P'Ohm even though Fluke is a year older. The actors decided to do this between themselves, presumably partly based on personality and partly placed on the roles they played in Until We Meet Again. They found it easier to keep that dynamic on the promo circuit and have continued since.

Thus strict adherence to phi/nong based exclusively on age is not mandated IRL. Friends/lovers/coworkers/etc.. can alter language for social/cultural or interpersonal reasons. You can hear Santa & Earth on the Studio Wabi Sabi YouTube channel monkey around with this a lot. Earth is much older than Santa, but they very rarely use phi/nong.

That said, both Earth (LBC) and Fluke (UWMA) are out, so that could also come into play linguistically. Argh, so complicated.

Further Reading 

More about the “I” first person pronoun in Thai.

More about the “you” second person pronoun in Thai.

More about the 3rd person in Thai, and the propensity to omit pronouns altogether. 

More about honorifics. 

One last note: 

Third Person Singular = Gender Neutral

Something Thai BL fans don’t often understand early on is that third person singular pronouns are often genderless (it’s rarely she/he her/him, it’s more like singular they/them). 

In other words, Thai speakers self gender and direct gender others in conversation. (”I” and “you” carry gender, politeness, and other cultural connotations.) But Thai speakers do not usually gender others when talking about them in third person (see káo). Despite what you’re taught in remedial Thai. 

Also, many nouns that would carry gender in English don’t in Thai. For example, the word faen is usually translated as boyfriend/girlfriend, but it’s actually genderless and more weighted, like lover+special someone. 

This is why, for example, Dean has to explain to his grandmother that he is dating a man in Until We Meet Again. This is also why translators find it difficult to do justice to the scene at the end of Love Sick 2 when Phun comes out to his dad (or does he?). 

Maybe: “And your lover is serious about this relationship?” 

Final note, I have made an extremely complicated subject as simple as I can for the purposes of greater BL understanding. And my own amusement. Read the articles linked above if you want something more nuanced and professional. 

~ Armchair amateur dilettante signing off. 

Updated to say the the TharnType Wedding Special finally hired a subber who used the Singular They! 

(Incidentally all of this relates to the fact that Thai has registers which are based on many social factors, it’s really fun stuff. BL plays around with them too.)

Others in this series: Explaining Thai to the Bl Watcher, what you might want to know to understand the story and culture.  

Also because the flipped power dynamic of a younger seme with an older uke complicates Thai pronouns and honorifics, I go deep into that because of a question about Kong & Arthit. Also talks about MingKit, MarkKit, SoloGui, and SibGene.

Explaining Thai to the Casual BL Watcher - It Has Registers

Linguistic Fun In Thai BL - Pronouns & Honorifics

BL Actors & Age Dynamics

Thai Pronouns & Honorifics when Seme/Uke is Age Flipped

Thai Honorifics Between Ages in BL and real life

(Original post is kept updated here.)

[femalehumanoid]

Fluff Alphabet - Keevan

A ctivities – What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Keevan likes to spend an occasional evening simply talking to you. Let’s face it – the list of his psychological issues and traumas is a lengthy one, but he adamantly refuses to see a counselor, so that leaves the only person he can trust – you. He tells you stories from his past, ranging from funny and entertaining to tragic and horrible; for the most part you just listen, offering an appropriate comment here and there or squeezing his hand in encouragement. You have long since learned that tearing up and trying to hug him outright is a bad idea in such moments – he sees it as pity and closes up immediately, refusing to reveal anything remotely close to personal for weeks afterwards.

But your talks are not always about his past – in fact, your discussion topics are vastly varied. He’s lived many lifetimes and knows a lot, so he has an opinion on just about everything. He relishes finally being able to discuss his true thoughts without having to constantly look over his shoulder and filter which opinions are safe to share and which ones could be used against him.

As for other activities, Keevan’s a bit of a hedonist, so he wouldn’t say no to a day at a holosuite spa or a short trip to the pleasure planet together. Freedom from the Dominion didn’t make him any less of an asshole, so when you’re in public – say, lounging at the beach on Risa – he’ll occasionally make scathing (and, unfortunately, quite funny) observations about the passersby under his breath. You feel bad for snickering at the especially insulting comments, but ultimately don’t have the heart to tell him off because he looks so pleased with himself when he manages to make you laugh.

B eauty – What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Being a Vorta, Keevan is of course devoid of an aesthetic sense as such. That doesn’t mean that he can’t deduce by the reactions of others that you are beautiful – and boy, does it stroke his ego to see people eyeing you with appreciation (and him with jealousy) when you dress up and go out in public together.

While he can’t fully perceive your beauty visually, he admires your lips for their softness, your hands for their warmth, your eyes for the way you look at him.

On a more general note, what Keevan appreciates most about you is your behavior towards him. Sure, you have many other admirable qualities – you’re fun, and charming, and intelligent – but he’s met a plethora of fun, charming and intelligent people, and you’re the only one who truly loves and accepts him.

C omfort – how would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Before he met you, Keevan had very little experience in comforting another person or providing genuine emotional support, so he’ll be somewhat stiff the first few times you show this type of vulnerability in front of him. But as soon as he’ll realize you’re looking to him for comfort, he’ll soften and open his arms for an embrace. Next thing you know, you’ll be sitting on his lap, telling him your woes and being sweet-talked to death.

By the way, if the reason for your distress is another person, you can rest assured that they would regret what they did – Keevan would make sure of it.

D reams -  How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Keevan is happy to leave the decision of where you’re going to live fully in your hands, but if you were to ask him, he’d recommend a smaller planet with comfortable climate and of little strategic value (so that it’d be left alone if another war were to erupt). But even though he’s mostly indifferent towards the finer details of your life together, it doesn’t mean that he’s not thinking about the future. The longer you are together, the clearer it becomes to him that one lifetime with you wouldn’t be enough. So, he starts to make discreet inquiries with his old contacts at various cloning facilities – is the Dominion technology suitable for cloning a human? How would one go about it? You won’t hear a word of it until Keevan knows for sure it’s possible, and one day he nonchalantly drops the offer on you like it’s not one of the most life-changing decisions with plenty of questionable ethical implications. In his mind, the decision has already been made, and he’s not above manipulating you into accepting if that means he gets to be with you forever.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or are they rather passive?

On the surface Keevan might appear passive, simply because he doesn’t expend energy caring about most things. You want to take an assignment on a different planet? Fine, he’ll come along - as long as you’ll have enough free time to devote to him, that is. You’re feeling frisky and want to explore your dominant side? Oh, he’s way into that.

In the past, when he was a servant of the Dominion, he had to constantly assert his dominance to keep his position, but nowadays he mostly reserves those impulses for the bedroom. However, there are some things he’s not willing to compromise on at all. You’re not going on that dangerous mission even if he has to tie you to the bed. That ex of yours that recently came into your life again and is behaving suspiciously flirty? Oh look, a week later they’ve decided to take a trip to another part of the galaxy and not return, totally of their own accord.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How is their fighting?

For both your sakes, let’s hope you’re more diplomatic than he is. Fighting with Keevan goes one of two ways – it’s either a nightmare because he knows exactly what to say to make it hurt, OR your heated exchange turns into an even more heated reconciliation and you both forget what you were fighting about in the first place.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Even if Keevan doesn’t often show it, he is grateful. He knows he’s not the easiest person to get along with, and he is aware of the effort you’re putting into the relationship and into helping him through his issues even when he’s being a total prick.

He does try to smooth his edges when he’s around you (around others, not so much) and takes note of the little things that make you happy – how you light up when he takes your hand, or when he remembers how you take your morning beverage – and consciously does it more often.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything? 

Keevan wouldn’t necessarily call them ‘secrets’, simply certain information that you don’t need to know. Some details of his past, for example – stories that could traumatize you – and why would he do that to a person he loves? You will rarely catch him lying to you outright, but some things he simply omits, like how he’s convinced your colleague to back off from that assignment you really wanted.

Also, he often has trouble sharing his emotions, partly because he’s been repressing them for so long that even he can’t get to the bottom of what he’s feeling at times.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Your relationship has transformed both of you in some respects. It might not have been smooth sailing, especially in the beginning, but it’s the healthiest relationship Keevan’s ever been in, and you’ve been gradually helping him heal and move on from a lot of trauma of his past. As for you, Keevan has taught you to be more assertive and you learned to accept the darker parts of your own psyche like you accepted the worst sides of his.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Keevan is extremely prone to jealousy, and he doesn’t bother to hide it. He likes to cultivate a reputation of a person who’s not to be crossed, and with his sadistic streak scaring people comes easily to him. That way, he can be reasonably sure no-one is going to dare take what’s his – namely, you. 

But if he catches you being too friendly (in his opinion) to, say, some bar patron, he won’t hesitate to come up and insert himself into the conversation, only to artfully insult the unfortunate person, smirking and possessively holding your hip all the while. If you think getting punched in the face by a huge Klingon for such behavior would deter him, you’d be dead wrong.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

He’s a wonderful kisser – and very intense. Your first kiss happened in the middle of a heated argument, one moment you were getting in each other’s face, angrily flushing pink and aubergine respectfully, and the next you’re furiously kissing and knocking down the nearby furniture in an attempt to pin the other to the wall.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

Not in a healthy way, I’m afraid. For the longest time, he would be in denial as to the nature of his feelings towards you. Lust, he could understand – but you seem to behave in a way that implies deeper feelings. Out of curiosity, he would let himself get closer to you, and after a while he’d discover with great surprise that he has developed feelings towards you as well. Weaknesses like that tended to get one killed in the Dominion (and that’s the best-case scenario), and despite the big changes after the war, that fear would still be fresh in his mind. But even regardless of that, getting seriously involved with someone would bring out a myriad of other fears and insecurities. What if it doesn’t work out? What if he opens up to you and that scares you off? What if he becomes attached and something happens to you? It’s safer not to get involved. Without explanation, he’d start avoiding you, thereby hurting your feelings, and one night when you’re crying, drinking wine and nursing your broken heart, you decide that enough is enough and you deserve an explanation. You march to his quarters and barge in as soon as the doors slide open, to Keevan’s astonishment and slight indignation (since when are you so bold?). After that, there’s a lot of shouting, finger pointing and angry confessions, followed by passionate kissing. The next morning, you’d hear a whisper that sounds a lot like ‘I love you’ while you’re still half-asleep in his bed, but you’re not sure if that really happened or if you dreamt it.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

If you want to get married, you’re going to have to explain to him the significance of that ritual because Keevan doesn’t really understand why you need to involve the government, or even worse – god – in your personal affairs. Although your explanation won’t likely change his mind on the matter, if he sees that you really, really want to get married, he’ll concede. But under no circumstances will Keevan agree to a religious ceremony of any sort – his experiences with gods (i.e. the Founders) have embittered him to any form of religion, so he’ll never sully the matter of such intimacy and importance as your union with mentions of any god, be they real or imaginary.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Pet, darling, sweet thing. Princess, in certain situations (😉). He starts out using the nicknames sarcastically, but at some point it becomes one of his ways to show genuine affection towards you.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious to others? How do they express their feelings?

At first, Keevan in love seems even more aloof than usual. His thoughts keep returning to you, thinking and overthinking everything, imagining all the ways your relationship could go wrong and even more ways it could go right.

The others truly start to notice the changes in his behavior only when he’s with you. His movements gain a bit more grace and sensuality, he doesn’t pass up an opportunity to make a clever snarky comment where he otherwise wouldn’t have bothered. He subtly puts himself in your personal space and holds your gaze for meaningful lengths of time. In other words, he is infatuated with you, which is obvious to everyone present.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

PDA? Yes, please! Keevan’s displays of affection border on exhibitionistic. If you’re too embarrassed, he’ll tone it down, of course - but not by much, so you might as well forget about having any shame at all when he’s around. While he doesn’t tend to be too clingy in public, he thinks nothing of groping your ass if the mood strikes him, undressing you with his eyes or whispering suggestively into your ear and making you blush. Bragging about you and showing you off is par for the course.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship

Keevan has an uncanny ability to stay level-headed in dangerous situations, and years of serving as a field supervisor have taught him to always have a plan B, C and ideally ten more, just in case. So if anything happens, you can rely on him to get you both out of trouble.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative? 

While not romantic in a classical sense, Keevan does try to keep you happy in his own way. He prefers to hide the true amount of effort he puts into the seemingly little things he’s doing for you – what it’s like to hear the whispers about his race when you’re on a date on a Federation planet, or how draining it is to socialize with your friends (you have to threaten not to talk to him for a week if he doesn’t behave civilly).

Aside from that, Keevan likes to make an occasional grand gesture to impress you – there’s nothing he loves more than seeing the awe and admiration in your eyes and hearing you praise him. Basically, flattery will get you anywhere with this Vorta.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

He knows that you’re talented enough to excel at anything you put your mind to. If you want to advance your career, he can offer you plenty of useful (if sometimes unethical) advice on how to do that quickly. But if you want him to actually do something to help, you’re going to have to ask veeery nicely. In rare cases he does help without being asked - but don’t get used to it.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice up your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Over the iterations, Keevan was known to be, shall we say, adventurous, so there isn’t much that is truly new to him. The only thing that’s actually novel is the significance of the relationship. Did he ever wake up in bed with an attractive stranger? Sure, many times. Had he ever woken up next to the person he loves? You are the first. He wants to relish every new thing he gets to experience with you, so he isn’t in a hurry to try out everything all at once.

U nderstanding - How well do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

Keevan isn’t terribly empathetic, but he can read the cues pretty well if he wants to – a skill that is essential for any Vorta to acquire if they want to survive past their first iteration. For all his supposed indifference, Keevan has learned a lot about you pretty early on after you’ve first met, and if you weren’t so love-struck, you’d have probably found it suspicious. At times, it can be irritating how well he knows you, especially when he’s acting smug about it.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Once upon a time, Keevan had a career, and a rather successful one at that. Unfortunately, it was a career in a fascistic interstellar empire serving merciless gods – this kind of thing gets you disillusioned sooner rather than later. Still, his work had its moments, and having left the Dominion he had been missing the opportunity to apply himself.

But the freedom has granted him a choice – for the first time, he could decide what he wants to do. That freedom is just as important to him as your relationship, and the fact that you’re supporting him and helping him discover the new possibilities means more to Keevan than you can possibly imagine.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Keevan is a very tactile person by nature, which may come as a surprise because due to his past he’s had to learn to survive without closeness. At the earlier stages of your relationship he’d be pretty wary of platonic affectionate gestures, but as he becomes more comfortable around you, you’ll notice the casual touches becoming more frequent – he’d put his chin on your shoulder from behind to see what you’re reading on your PADD, thoughtfully trace your brow with his finger or play with your hair. Also, good luck trying to get out of bed without waking him – if you try to wriggle out of his embrace, he’ll only tighten his arms around you and mumble something unintelligible in Vortawa.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

By making everyone around him miserable. By moping around in your quarters and passive-aggressively destroying the knickknacks on your shelves (and later claiming that it was an accident).

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Oh yes. Great, borderline creepy length. Out of the two of you, you are the only one who actually has morals (and the longer you are with Keevan, the more the lines will start to blur), so he won’t have any qualms doing whatever needs to be done for your relationship. The only thing that could give him pause is if he knows you might not forgive him for doing something particularly amoral - but on the other hand, what you don’t know won’t hurt you.

. ⋅˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ ⋅˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

dedicated to the wonderful @stay-neurotic , the originator of Keevan thirst on tumblr dot com

[himboarcher]

reasons i've seen folks say that grad critics hate grad:

they hate travis (in fairness, i’ve def seen some comments of people shitting on trav for the sake of shitting on trav, but it’s not super common and typically gets downvoted into oblivion on reddit.)

it's not balance / travis isn't griffin (???????)

they hate neurodivergent people (again, in fairness, i have seen a handful of comments that could come across this way! but most of the time when travis being ADHD or his NPD is brought up, it's by defenders saying that criticizing travis is ableist because he's neurodivergent or, in one particular comment, infantilizing him bc of it and literally comparing grad to putting a kid's artwork on the fridge. there were some comments early on that pointed to him being a narcissist as the reason for things people disliked about grad, but everyone seems to have realized that that's a shitty train of thought and left it behind.)

they're just toxic haters (again, there are a small handful of people like this because this is the internet, but the genuine criticism greatly outweighs their bullshit. i 100% think that the people, which is mostly just one dude who is also insufferable on reddit, who have been responding rudely to positive tweets under the episode announcements lately are out of line and need to stop. there's been an influx of that lately, presumably because people are frustrated that after over a year of grad going on, there's been no improvement to most of the major issues. that's still no excuse to be a dick to folks, though.)

vs some of the actual reasons i don't like grad:

the racism / racist tropes, and the way that they’ve straight up ignored this criticism and will likely never acknowledge it. pretty wild considering a core tenet of their brand is their willingness to acknowledge when they’ve messed up and do their best to course correct.

clumsy attempts at inclusion that are shallow and often end up being fairly offensive ("...ask me about my wheelchair," anyone?)

on a related note: i don't think that travis had bad intentions, but as an nonbinary person, it feels othering to me that travis only has enby characters give others their pronouns unprompted. i'm thinking specifically of kai here. having listened to their introduction, i don't think it's as bad or awkward as some people have said, but i can't remember travis ever having another NPC tell the PCs their pronouns, especially not a cis character. it's not a huge deal, but it's something that rubbed me the wrong way. admittedly, i don't think it would bother me so much if travis hadn't dropped the ball so much with performative inclusion in the past.

okay i'm putting the rest under a read more because even without getting into all of the problems i have with it, this got Long.

little to no player agency. player choices are ultimately meaningless and have little to no effect on the world. even when he seems to go along with a plan they come up with, it always ends with them having to go back to travis' pre-written script (see: subpoenaing the xorn, but not really because they had to go with travis' original plan of "send the xorn home through the rift".) the players repeatedly get told things about what they think or feel or what they've been doing to an unnecessary degree. fitzroy is the only one who really gets space to play and decide things for himself, and that's only because travis has decided he's the main character.

the NPCs are all too nice and willing to give the PCs anything they ask for and more, unless the PCs are trying to follow their own plan and then the NPCs are completely useless. but honestly, aside from gray, all of the NPCs are just.... nice. travis refuses to even let his antagonists be mean or cruel or even more than just slightly rude, because that'd be a bummer and we don't want that! the "twist" of gordy the lich king actually being polite and chill is not a twist at all because everyone is like that in this world. the NPCs are also wildly overpowered, but then suddenly absolutely useless when the PCs actually want their help.

too many cliffhangers that are dropped immediately at the beginning of the next episode. i feel bad for travis because so many of these cliffhangers actually set up good momentum and seemed like things were gonna get interesting, but almost every single time he just dropped them at the beginning of the next episode. like when althea showed up to interview the boys and the next episode started with travis being like "actually you went to sleep, she said she'll be back tomorrow!"

that time travis specifically said in his exposition dump that the thundermen left their horses behind because they thought the centaurs might be offended by them riding horses, only to later on rag on them for being surprised that the centaurs had horses they could ride.....

also the centaur arc in general, but i already listed racism above, so.

the way that the toxic positivity and parasocial tendencies in the mcelroy fandoms have made a large portion of the fandom take ANY criticism as a personal attack on travis and/or on themselves for enjoying something others consider bad, either morally or just quality-wise. it’s okay to admit that something you like has problematic elements or just isn’t as good as it once was. you can and should engage critically with the media you consume.

related to above: the way travis has handled genuine criticism, which is to throw public tantrums on his twitter or make weird passive aggressive tweets & ultimately ignore all the genuine criticism and advice he's been offered by claiming it's all subjective, even after he specifically asked for it and set up an email for folks to send in genuine, objective advice for him (after he threw a tantrum on twitter and replied to someone's criticism publicly, which resulted in his followers dogpiling on that person bc how dare they insult their internet best friend). while i was writing this last night, he actually announced that he’s taking a break from Twitter and acknowledged that he’s been using it as an echo chamber where he can easily get validation from folks, and honestly i’m happy for him that he’s recognized this problem and is stepping away for a while! i hope he’ll genuinely use this time to reflect on how he’s been behaving and find a more healthy way to use social media. i’m leaving this point in because i think his Twitter being such a positive echo chamber was encouraging him to do stuff like this, and him somewhat acknowledging his behavior doesn’t mean it can no longer be discussed.

rainer. extremely cool concept in theory and i was very into it until that awkward "does anyone want to ask about my wheelchair?" moment. also when travis had her use her mobility aid to RAM INTO A DOOR instead of just fucking knocking???? also all the times travis has tried to force a romantic relationship between her and fitzroy, despite fitzroy displaying no interest in her in that way. also, just to clarify: as an ace person, i don’t think this is aphobic! (and it’s kind of a stretch to call it that imo, especially since griffin never explicitly said that fitzroy's aromantic!) i just think it’s weird and awkward and a little uncomfortable for me personally, mostly because it reminds me of the times i’ve been in similar situations.

less of a problem than a lot of the other stuff and more just bad writing, but the forced emotional moments. in general, nothing in grad feels earned (why are the boys heading a war? when they have multiple actual heroes with combat experience on their side and a supposedly powerful secret organization? and the thundermen are like 21 years old max and have only had like ~10 fights in the entire campaign?) but there've been a couple times where travis has tried to force unearned emotional moments, presumably because he knows people enjoyed those with the last campaigns. but the difference is that in balance, the big emotional moments happened because they were earned. in grad, it's just travis throwing a baby pegasus at us for a few minutes and then the next time she shows up, it's supposed to be a tearful goodbye.

there are absolutely no stakes. remember when the thundermen got told that if they left, gray would kill 10 students? and then they left and came back and it turns out that what gray actually meant was, "i'll tie ten students who are mostly nameless NPCs to a tree and throw some dogs at them that you can easily stop in time, then throw a tantrum because how dare you but i'll leave before you can really do anything to hurt me lol" travis did have fitzroy's magic get taken away, but like. it didn't really do anything? also all he had to get it back was be coerced into using drugs by an authority figure and trip in the woods?

we're told that the school is weird and the hero system is corrupt, but the world of nua is still presented as more of a liberal utopia than anything? althea getting fired because of a corrupt villain is the only time we've somewhat seen corruption, but even then, she was still allowed to get (what seems to me, anyway, but admittedly i don't know for sure bc nothing about the HOG makes much sense) a fairly important job from the very people who stripped her of her hero license or whatever the fuck heroes need?

travis doesn't actually seem to understand how capitalism or bureaucracy works and just chalks up everything to "red tape." also more on the rest of the boys than him specifically, but the "let's destroy capitalism!" thing turning into just pushing some filing cabinets over................... okay.

and one last piece of extremely subjective criticism: it's just kind of.... boring. i think a lot of people, myself included, would be willing to overlook 90% of the problems with graduation if it didn't feel like such a slog to get through.

also people saying that we can't or shouldn't criticize graduation because it's "free" is absolutely absurd for several reasons. first, something being free does not make it above criticism. second, there ARE people who directly financially support the show with monthly donations. three, there's a difference between something being free and something being not for profit. podcasting is their full time job. they make their living off of money made from TAZ and MBMBAM (and probably their other shows to a lesser extent). this not a fun home game that they are graciously recording and sharing with us. it is a product they are producing that they make money off of, both from ads in the episodes and merch & books based off of these podcasts. they have marketed themselves as professionals, and both griffin and travis have been on panels where they are marketed as professional DMs and appear alongside other professional DMs (which makes it incredibly frustrating when people say that travis is just a newbie DM and we can't criticize him because of that. if he's a newbie, then he should not be taking part of panels as a professional DM where he speaks as an expert). TAZ is free in the same way that an episode of NCIS is free. i may not pay for it directly, but the creators are paid to create it and profit off of me consuming this product. so saying we should be grateful for any mcelnoise that the benevolent good boys share with us and that we're not allowed to criticize it "because it's free" is absolutely wild.

[twstedbeauty]

hi! can I request some hc's for the dorm leaders finding out that their s/o is ticklish please? thank you! ;w;

Disclaimer: This is going off the assumption that their s/o enjoys being tickled. Our bois are respectful and would never touch their love without permission~

Riddle Rosehearts 

This boy is so shy oml. 

I highly doubt this poor child got any sort of physical affection as a child, given how beastly his mother is, so the act of tickling is kind of lost on him. 

I’m gonna say it right now: the only time he would ever tickle you is when you two are alone. He’s not the type to tease you and do it in front of other people. 

When you two are alone, the best way I can describe Riddle would be....awkward. It’s gonna take him a while to warm up to the idea, but he’ll do it only because it makes you happy. 

He gets very blushy and his heart flutters in his chest when you start giggling and squirming underneath him. Every once in a while, he stops to check in and make sure you’re alright. He doesn’t want to overwhelm you!

He gets more and more comfortable with the idea the more you two do it, but it still is only something you do in private. 

Overall, Riddle tickles are very cute and sweet and very fluffy. He’s a bit awkward, but he’s trying~

Leona Kingscholar

*takes in a deep breath* 

Hoo boy....ya’ll are in for it. 

I’mma just say for all ya’ll out there who are extremely ticklish? RUN. RUN AS FAR AWAY AS YOU CAN. (And be prepared for him to chase you...) 

Why? Oh well, y’know...Leona Kingscholar just doesn’t know what this one little word called ‘mercy’ means.

Listen, I’m not saying that he would tickle you to the point of pissing yourself...but he’d get pretty damn close. 

Your first mistake? Telling him you were ticklish. Your second mistake? TELLING HIM YOU LIKE IT.

As soon as he figures out you like being tickled, that’s it. You’ve sealed your fate. You just set yourself up to be teased about it until the day you die. 

He will hold you down and tickle you to the point of begging, to the point where you’re gasping for breath and screeching his name in between your laughter.

Oh, and he’ll let you know you can’t go anywhere. He’ll lean in close to your ear and growl about how he’s got you trapped, how helpless you are underneath him. His little herbivore caught in the clutches of the hungry lion. 

Unlike Riddle, Leona IS the type to exploit your weakness when you’re around others. He hold you on his lap and pinch at your hips, squeeze your knees, nibble on your neck...nothing’s off the table for him!

That tail of his? EVIL. EVIL. He can and WILL use it as a tool against you. You two could be cuddling in his bed and you’ll feel his tail slip up underneath your shirt, gently brushing over your stomach as he pretends to be asleep behind you. 

You better watch yourself. Tickling you will become Leona’s favorite thing to do when he’s bored and there’s nothing you can do to stop him. RUN.

Azul Ashengrotto 

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.

Ohhh, Azul is all too familiar with the act of tickling. 

Truth be told? He hates being tickled himself. The twins used to gang up on him all the time when they were younger and tickle him to the point of inking himself. It was humiliating. That’s why NO ONE but them knows that he’s ticklish. 

So to hear that you, his love, enjoys it? He’s honestly a little shocked. 

Now, Azul is a gentleman and also an easily flustered bby, so tickles will be in private. 

Like Riddle, he’s a bit shy about it and a little awkward at first for the same reasons. He doesn’t want to overwhelm you or accidentally hurt you!

But the difference between him and Riddle? Once he gets a feel for it, Azul can be sadistic. 

oHOHO yes, dO NOT let his gentleman facade fool you. He is just as RUTHLESS as Leona. 

It mostly stems from that pent up frustration of getting tickled as a child. Not being able to fight and get back at the ones who humiliated him. So...now you’re the target for that. 

Physical strength isn’t really one of his strong suits, so if you’re okay with it, he’ll tie you up so that he doesn’t have to hold you down. 

You know that unhinged smile he gets in the game? He’ll be looking down at you like THAT the whole time while he coos about how adorable you are trying to escape. 

He enjoys watching you squirm around and scream every time he digs into a sensitive place on your body. It fuels that sadistic streak in him. 

Would he exploit your weakness in public? Mmmm....only sometimes. 

If you’re sitting on his lap while he’s working, he might pinch your sides or your hip just to get you snickering. He’ll just smile that ‘polite smile’ of his and ask you what’s so funny, much to the utter conclusion of his poor client. 

And before any of you ask, yes, he will tickle you in his merform. He’s stronger in that form and those tentacles can both hold you down and tickle you at the same time. Lucky you!

Oh, and don’t let the twins find out that you’re ticklish. Azul is sadistic, but he knows when to show mercy. The twins do not. 

Kalim Al-Asim 

Oh my goodness, this boy is PRECIOUS. 

He would think that you being ticklish is the most adorable thing in the world and would love tickling you if it made you happy!

Kalim can get a little silly when he’s tickling you. He’ll coo about how cute you are and use that ‘tickle talk’ that people do that just seems to make it tickle more, but he’s laughing just as much with you. 

THE ULTIMATE INSTIGATOR OF TICKLE FIGHTS. This boy is a menace and he is NOT above chasing you around the Scarabia dorm.

Don’t let him fool you though. You can easily thwart him in a tickle fight by tickling him back. He’s just as ticklish. 

Any time you’re feeling sad or down about something, tickles are Kalim’s go-to when words don’t seem to help. 

He just loves hearing you laugh and seeing you smile! It lights up his whole world!

Vil Schoenheit

This man isn’t ticklish. At all. So any hope you may have for getting him back is dead on arrival.

Vil wasn’t tickled much as a child, if at all, and doesn’t much care for it. Who would want to get worked up to the point of laughing so much, it makes their face all splotchy and their body all sweaty? It sounds positively awful to him!

So when you confess that you like it, he’s honest with you. He doesn’t get it. 

If you want Vil to tickle you, the best chance you have is at the end of the day when he’s got all his makeup off and is relaxing in his room. 

Is Vil sadistic? He can be. Definitely. If he’s in the mood for it, he can positively evil with how easy it is to get you a blushing, giggling mess with just the slightest touch of his hand. 

He’s not sadistic in the way the same way that Leona and Azul are. He won’t make you almost piss yourself. He won’t even get you close to that point. But he’s capable of holding you down (or tying you down) and making you beg with how light his tickles are. 

They are the agonizingly slow, tantalizing tickles that send shivers all along your body, the kind that tickle so bad. He almost lazily just trace his fingers and nails along your exposed skin, cooing about how sweet your face is all flushed like that and asking if it tickles that badly. 

That’s the thing about Vil. He’ll commentate on your reactions and his own tickling methods as he’s tickling you. 

Outside the privacy of his bedroom? No tickles. None. He’s a busy man and he’s got a hectic schedule. Plus, doing something like that in public is unbecoming of someone of his status! 

Idia Shroud 

Another shy boi!

I don’t think Idia has much experience with tickling either, neither with himself or Ortho. (I don’t think Ortho can even be tickled? Can he??)

Either way, Idia’s stance on tickling is neutral, but don’t you DARE try to tickle him. He’s not very ticklish, but being touched like that freaks him out and makes him embarrassed. 

Now tickling you on the other hand....that’s a very different story. 

Granted, he’s tentative at first and a bit embarrassed by the thought, so it might take him a bit to get used to it. 

After that though? Oh, it’s over for you. 

Do I even need to say it? We’ve all seen that crazy smile he gets when he gets fired up about something. He’s sadistic as hell. 

I’m gonna say it: Ya’ll might need a safeword. When Idia starts, it’s pretty hard to get him to stop once he’s fired up, so safeword is KEY.

He’s VERY experimental. He’ll use different types of tools on you and keep record of what works best. He may not be the most talkative type, but his memory is like a steel trap. Once he learns something, he’s not going to forget it. 

So that means he’s gonna remember every single one of your worst tickle spots and use them against you. 

All I can say is good luck. 

Malleus Draconia 

Oh Malleus, sweet sweet Malleus.

If there’s any boy on this list that is MOST afraid of hurting you during this process, it’s Malleus. 

You’re such a tiny little thing! It would be so easy for him to accidentally hurt you without realizing and that scares him more than anything. 

He is so careful with you. It so cute. He’ll barely even touch you and when you flinch, he freaks out and apologizes profusely, momentarily forgetting that’s the whole point of tickling. 

The first couple of times are gonna be a slow go, but just be patient with him. He’s just gotta warm up to it. 

Once he’s more comfortable with it and sure he’s not hurting you in anyway, that’s when he might delve into his more...sadistic tendencies. 

He can’t help it. You’re just so helpless underneath him and the way you squeal and giggle every time he touches you is just so precious. 

Malleus won’t do anything too crazy though. The moment you start to look like you can’t breathe, he stops and gives you a break. 

He’s not the type to exploit it in public...but Lilia is. He gets a kick out of watching Malleus get all flustered any time he comes up behind you and ‘accidentally’ tickles you. 

Bonus: Dire Crowley

Birb dad! Who doesn’t love the thought of cute parental tickles? 

If you tell him that you’re ticklish and that you like being tickled, he might just die from how cute you are. 

This man is a dork. A sheer dork. Definitely the type to use the silly ‘tickle talk’ while he’s tickling you. He’ll make it extra silly just to make you laugh harder.

He’ll just gush over you as he tickles you, telling you how adorable you are and how sweet your giggles sound. He just can’t help it! His little bird is just too cute!!

Raspberries? Raspberries. He’s the King of Raspberries and WILL NOT HESITATE to use them as his final blow.

He’s giggling just as much as you are. It warms his heart that you trust him enough to let him do this and he just lights up as you smile and laugh. 

He’s very merciful though! As soon as you’ve had enough, he’ll stop immediately and bring you up in a hug, helping you to come down from the high. 

10/10 for Birb dad tickles. Would definitely reccomend. 

Psst, if you wanna get him back though, he’s so VERY ticklish. Wreck him whenever you feel like. 

[anghraine]

thanks for answering my question about faramir :) i also had a similar follow up q if you didnt mind: what do you think drove eowyn's attraction to faramir? its a common criticism that it seems like a sudden about face for her character, especially in light of her prior attraction to aragorn & how she turns from warfare to peace... but again, imo a near death experience and the loss of someone close to her is as good a cause as any

You’re welcome!

I think it’s somewhat fair to criticize the abruptness of Éowyn’s shift in terms of how it’s presented (rather than the literal time scale, which is less important in the circumstances IMO). We see Faramir and Éowyn briefly interact, then they have these conversations we don’t see, and when we see them again, they’re friends/he’s fully in love with her. I think that if we saw more of this offscreen development of their relationship, and perhaps some grounding for the peace/healing/gardening turn beyond the symbolic, there’d be less criticism of how abrupt things are (still some, but less).

Their story is tangential to the wider narrative, in fairness, and I think it’s generally quite beautiful as written, just a little rushed structurally.

Setting that aside, though, there’s something about the shift from Éowyn/Aragorn to Éowyn/Faramir that I think gets a bit overlooked—

—and it’s that Faramir is quite a bit like Aragorn. 

It’s not that he’s a second-rate replacement for Aragorn, to head that off right away. But he does possess the qualities that Éowyn genuinely finds appealing in Aragorn; he’s very tall, a great warrior, a charismatic leader, stern but capable of lightness, thoughtful, intelligent, learned, bold when necessary but self-controlled, and is both human and Elvish/wizardly in his air, beliefs, and abilities (and this list is not exhaustive!). 

However, part of Éowyn’s attraction to Aragorn also springs from a mix of immaturity and misery. Tolkien remarked that the disparity between Aragorn’s actual age (80s) and appearance (only middle-aged) makes his impression on her all the more powerful. For this very reason, though, Tolkien decided the pairing didn’t work—he’s too old for Éowyn, and the impression he leaves on her leads to infatuation/idolization rather than mature romantic love. 

On top of that, Éowyn’s situation in Meduseld is inexpressibly nightmarish and and in Aragorn, she sees a path out of Rohan that would lift her ‘up’ above her suffering and shame. Once there’s no chance of that, she goes seeking death—not truly because of ‘love’ for Aragorn, but because she’s been so trapped and can’t see any other way out that coheres with her ideals for her house and for herself. It’s significant that she ultimately tells Faramir that she no longer desires to be a queen—that was a significant part of Aragorn’s attraction for her. 

And the thing is that the qualities that made her infatuated but not really in love with Aragorn are the things that are mostly not there with Faramir. Tolkien explicitly says that, while Faramir has a ‘high’ air, it’s not as high or remote as Aragorn’s can be. Rather, it’s more immediate and constant. Faramir isn’t old or overwhelming; he’s quietly impressive in a way she respects without being swept off her feet into infatuation. He doesn’t represent a way out; he’s not going to rule Gondor for much longer and has no idea what his future will be, yet she’s drawn to his gentleness and dignity anyway. They’re friends. They talk about things, they bond in these incredibly difficult moments when she finds herself drawing close to him. It’s not a relationship she’s built up in her head; it’s all real. 

Even though this is all happening quickly in calendar time, I think it’s quite gradual in the emotional sense, as Éowyn goes from respect (and, I think, attraction) to friendship to falling in love without quite understanding what’s going on, to finally understanding what’s actually going on in her head and heart, and seeing a way to live that isn’t about escape or glory, but—living. I think that her newfound value for life and her subconscious love for Faramir have been building through all their interactions, and in the end, come naturally together in this flash of realization.

[yukiakaren]

Kpop title track ranking: INFINITE

In this series I’ll be ranking kpop groups/soloists title tracks based on my taste.

So, YouTube led me to Infinite after a while and I decided why not bring one of my older ultimate groups to the front line! I absolutely love Infinite to bits even today after them not being active in years already. Their music just is so so good and they were such a hilarious bunch together. I’m always happy to get my Infinite crumbs on Instagram when the guys post some pictures of them supporting each others works and stuff. But okay let’s stop this loving ramble and get on to the listing!

Note: Infinite’s singles are confusing, so I’ll just count them as title tracks as they seem to have been promoting them.

Destiny - Destiny, my ultimate love. I don’t remember this for sure but I think this was the first Infinite song I heard and probably also the first one I started liking. And it just hasn’t ever stopped being captivating to me. The attitude in it is just something I can’t find in anywhere else. I just love Destiny and it just has to be the one I call my number 1.

Back - Was I blessed to have this as my first Infinite comeback after starting to love them? Oh boy I was. Is it even legal for a song to be this good? Pulling all my heartstrings with no mercy. Just so incredible song.

Paradise - Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. I just love Paradise. All of it. Lyrics. Instrumentals. Vocals. Raps. Choreography (and this is a lot coming from someone who doesn’t really retain much memories of dances). Just all of it.

Last Romeo - Another one of my absolute loves. Probably has something to do with the MV having Woohyun as the main lead for the acting. But that aside, the song is just incredible and it just sounds great even now that years have gone by.  

Bad - This was such a different style for them. But I was and still am all up for it. One thing: I rarely have specific parts or lines in songs that I like above all else but in this song there are two! This L’s part and in some of the live versions this Woohyun’s ad-lib he did continuing the note, it just so so good. Also I absolutely love them, mostly Woohyun, singing that “Bad bad bet a bad bad girl” part in some end of the year performances. 

The Chaser - I feel like a lot of people would put this as their favorite Infinite song. And I mean I can’t blame them for that. It is just so catchy and so flawlessly good. I had such a blast listening to it for this list now and it did go a bit higher than if I had done the list without listening to the songs first. And I had to put this version of the MV here because I want to mention how much I love the intro Infinitize, it’s just sooooo good!

The Eye - What can I say, just a gorgeous song. It’s just bittersweet that this ended up being the last OT7 song. Also, for some reason I ended up absolutely adoring the Japanese version of this song as well. Not anything new with Infinite in general as I’ve liked multiple of their older b-sides in both languages but it being a newer title track I was a little surprised.

Be Mine - I’m so glad that Be Mine exists. Without it Infinite would have been way shorter lived group than the Infinite we now know. And it is soooo catchy! Kpop classic for a reason!

Come Back Again - What a debut! This song is from 2010 and I’m still get so hyped when I hear it. It hasn’t aged terribly like undoubtedly some other song from that era (or I’m just incredibly biased here and I can’t see through it at all xD). 

Man In Love - The MV though! I love it, it’s so adorable! And surely this is my favorite of the cutesy songs.

BTD - The album this one is in was my first Infinite album that I got, so it gives it a little extra boost I have to admit but I try to stay somehow logical with this xD It still is a really cool song. And the scorpion dance still today is cool to me xD

Tell Me -  Bittersweet part 2 here, being the first song with six of them. It’s great like one would expect from Infinite but it has gotten less listens with me than the ones above, so I feel like the placement is quite fair.

Clock - And the last Infinite title track, hopefully only for now and some day there being a new song coming our way (this little Inspirit can hope, right?). The song missing Sunggyu’s voice is obviously a downside to it but then again on the positive side I feel like Sungyeol and Sungjong got more time to shine than before so that’s great.

Nothing’s Over - Okay the trend is clear: the cutesy Infinite is definitely going to be keeping the bottom end of this list. For me the cutesy stuff is more for watching the MV’s than actively listening to the songs xD Nothing wrong with Nothing’s Over either and if I’d be in the mood for it, sure, but I’m more rarely in the mood for this, I guess.

She’s Back - Well just compared to all of the other songs in this list this falls a bit short for me. It’s cute and I have listened to this one quite a bit too throughout the years but it has never been my top favorites from them. But that’s just me. If you are feeling like listening to something cute, give it a listen!

No kidding I love Infinite’s discography so so much (and not just the title tracks). Putting these songs in any order is just ridiculously hard and just plain stupid. They are all great and they all have aged well, so if you haven’t please do check their songs out! On that note, I would like to add a couple of recommendations for their Japanese songs and b-sides. Of the original Japanese songs DNA is so cool and Just Another Lonely Night is one of my favorite songs from Infinite overall! Of the Korean b-sides, I would like to mention 1/3 (and check also the concert version of this, it’s so fun!), rock-style song I Hate and Moonlight, which also happens to have one of those rare specific favorite parts for me, being Sungyeol’s chorus part.

[fuckyeahisawthat]

Have you been asked yet to rank Trust eps? Cos I'm asking! But your the criteria for ranking I leave to you to decide.

Ahahahaha I’ll have you know I put way too much thought into this. :-D

Ok so first of all, there is no such thing as a bad episode of Trust. The whole thing is really tightly written, every character and plot thread has a purpose, and even the episodes that I haven’t watched over and over again are important to the overall story. And a lot of the impact of the show comes from things that are cumulative over multiple episodes.

That being said, I do have favorites. Since the definitive ranking of Primo’s outfits has already been taken care of, here is my ranking from least to most favorite based on some nebulous criteria of artistic/narrative effectiveness and emotional impact, my judgement of which is obviously highly subjective and also correct.

Under the cut because this got ummm unbelievably, ridiculously long.

10. The House of Getty (episode 1)

Sorry Danny Boyle and Simon Beaufoy, the pilot is my least favorite episode. Still think it was the wrong choice to open with a flashy (and, I can tell, expensive) sequence showcasing the death of a character we literally never see again. And, look, I’m an impatient viewer. If I don’t get someone to root for/emotionally identify with/otherwise catch my interest early on in a narrative, I’ll tune out. And Old Paul is not only unlikeable--far from a mortal sin in dramatic storytelling--he’s boring. I don’t care about any of his rich people problems, and I’m not the kind of viewer who can be kept engaged just by hating someone and watching them be terrible.

Some of the secondary characters in the Getty household do have interesting plotlines, but we don’t get to learn very much about them in the first episode. And I do think things get interesting once Little Paul shows up (although I maintain that the whole episode is more interesting if we understand what the stakes are for Paul getting the money), but if I had started watching this show with no context I wouldn’t have made it past Old Paul’s pre-coital erotica listening routine.

If this had been anything other than the first episode I might not have ranked it last, but extra penalty points for leading with your least interesting characters.

9. Lone Star (episode 2)

This episode is, I think, saddled by the fact that it has to do a lot of heavy lifting in terms of exposition and setup. It mostly works because Chace is an entertaining narrator, and once we get to Italy with Gail I think things zip along at a pretty good pace. Opens with an attempted rape to show how Bad the Bad Guys are, which is...not my favorite trope.

Once again, I think a lot of the information in this episode would have worked better if episode 3 had been episode 1. (We’d already know who Berto was when Chace meets him; we’d already know about the box of guns in the apartment; we’d know when certain characters are lying.) This whole show runs on the suspense of the audience being the only party who knows what’s going on with all the characters at once; I think trading mystery for suspense here was the wrong move. I also can’t help thinking there was pressure to front-load the well-known American actors in the beginning of the show at the expense of the strongest narrative choices.

Imo the best thing about this episode is the sort of...multiple competing images of Paul that emerge. His mom sees him as an innocent victim who couldn’t possibly have planned any of this. Chace sees him as a spoiled rich kid trying to swindle his granddad. Neither one of them has the complete truth.

Next we get into some episodes that are certainly not bad, but their greatness is more on the level of some bangin’ individual scenes than a whole package.

8. John, Chapter 11 (episode 6)

Again, this isn’t a bad episode. The main reason I put it near the end of the list is that the first time through I got sort of impatient during the first half. We, the audience, by virtue of our extra-textual knowledge, know that Paul can’t be dead, and we spend about half the episode before we know what really happened to him, which felt a bit too long to me.

This episode does have some fantastic individual scenes including: Leo talking Primo down in the farmhouse, Leo and Paul’s conversation about Angelo’s death, Gail being an absolute badass, and the meeting between Salvatore and Old Paul. A lot of these scenes are essential on a thematic level, but I don’t think the episode as a whole is the most streamlined.

7. Consequences (episode 10)

I debated for a while where to put this episode because the overall feeling of 57 Chekov’s guns going off in the space of one episode is SO satisfying, and the resolutions of some of the individual plotlines are delicious. Ultimately I would have liked more space for Paul and Gail and less Old Paul being grumpy about his substitute child museum’s mediocrity (although the scene with the bad reviews is hilarious). Once again I feel like the show creators felt they had to pull the focus back to Old Paul to wrap things up and I just. don’t care.

That being said. The resolution of Primo’s storyline? SO SATISFYING. And tbh I don’t dislike the scenes that exist with Paul and Gail; even the happy scenes have this poignant tone to them. I think they were trying to deal with the fact that his irl story is just...incredibly fucking tragic, and you can see a bit of the strain showing.

6. Kodachrome (episode 7)

I know episode 7 is not one of your personal favorites, but it’s the one where I think jumping between multiple plotlines/sets of characters is used to the most satisfying dramatic effect. It has this sense of dramatic irony that feels like some Shakespearean family tragedy. The whole episode, we are hoping that Paul Jr. will finally do the thing we want him to do, which is stand up to his father. And he does it--but at the absolute worst, most selfish and destructive moment possible.

Paul Jr. may be the literal worst, but I do have compassion for him in the flashbacks, mostly because it seems painfully apparent that no matter what he does, he will never be able to please his father. But he doesn’t seem to realize this, and he keeps trying, even as it’s destroying him and his relationship with his family. Credit to Michael Esper for his performance for making me feel a smidgen of compassion for this bastard.

I think the other thing this episode shows is how both of Paul’s parents keep putting him, a child, into roles and circumstances that he shouldn’t really be in. He’s wandering around through what seem like very much adult environments with his dad and Talitha in Morocco. In the Trust version of events he’s there when Talitha ODs and is the one trying to revive her while his dad is having a breakdown in the corner. Gail seems like the more responsible parent but there’s something about her bringing Paul as her “date” on a night out, and the understanding that this is a thing that happens regularly...to me the disturbing part is not so much bringing a young kid to a party with adults but the unspoken expectation that Little Paul will fill the void of companionship that his father has left empty. (Gettys expecting Little Paul to step in to cover for the failings of his father is a repeated theme, and it even plays into the ear thing. His family has failed to pay the ransom, so this is now a problem he has to solve himself.) Combine this all with Leonardo going, um, excuse me but what the actual fuck is wrong with your family? and I think it makes a very effective episode. And the last couple minutes had me yelling NOOOOOOOO GODDAMMIT because you can see what’s going to happen and you’re just watching it unfolding like a car wreck. Also has one of my hands-down favorite scenes, of Paul and Primo in the car waiting for the ransom.

5. White Car in a Snowstorm (episode 9)

The ~ D R A M A !!! ~ This episode is an opera. I mean this whole show is dramatique but episode 9 really leans into the vivid imagery--that snowy highway in the mountains above the sea, the all-white ransom exchange, Paul clinging to the pole at the shuttered Getty gas station, some Very Serious Mobsters throwing the ransom money around like idiots in a moment where you’re encouraged to be happy along with them.

This is also one of my favorite episodes for Primo and for Primo and Paul’s weird sometimes-alliance. Primo walking away from Salvatore to go tell Paul “they always pay in the end”? Primo and Paul teaming up to argue with Salvatore about why Paul shouldn’t die? Primo being all threateny to the doctor treating Paul because somewhere deep down he is worried (that’s my take and you’ll never convince me otherwise)? Primo dressing up to fake-scab on a postal strike in order to find a misplaced severed ear? All gold.

Fun fact: the letter Gail writes to President Nixon did happen in real life, but as far as I can tell the phone call did not. The real details of who convinced Old Paul to finally pay (some) of the ransom are considerably less cinematic. They’re the same amount of sexist though!

Ok now we are getting to the top tier...

4. That’s All Folks! (episode 4)

This is definitely the episode that took me from “ok this is fun” to “oh holy shit I’m invested now.” It’s the episode where we get introduced to most of the Calabrian characters and their world. It’s also the episode where we start to realize that Primo is not just a fun antagonist but is really a parallel protagonist to Little Paul, with his own set of relationships and motivations that we start to see from his POV. (I’d argue that, with the exception of his very first scene, we’ve mostly seen Primo through other characters’ gaze up until episode 4, and this is the point where we start watching him as like, the character whose pursuit of a goal we’re following over the course of the scene.)

This episode ranks high for capturing so much of the weird mix of tones that makes Trust work. It can be very funny. (I never fail to fuckin lose it when Fifty is on the phone with Gail the first time and when he’s talking to the thoroughly unimpressed newspaper switchboard operator.) It has this weird unexpected intimacy between characters you wouldn’t think would connect with each other. (Primo and Paul, Paul and Angelo; in retrospect the arc of the relationship between Primo and Leo gets started in that scene in Salvatore’s kitchen.) And it has one of the show’s absolute best record-scratch tone shifts when Primo gets the ransom offer. I remember saying “oh FUCK” out loud the first time I watched the end of that episode, when Primo comes back to the house, visibly drunk and clearly furious. We’ve seen him be violent plenty before now in the show, but always in a controlled, calculated way. This is the first time we see his potential for out-of-control rage-fueled violence and he’s terrifying!

3. La Dolce Vita (episode 3)

I stand by my claim that this episode (with a few minor continuity adjustments) should have been the pilot. Can you imagine a title card that’s like “Rome 1973” and then away we go with Paul snorting coke and taking racy photos and jumping on cops and fucking his girlfriend in what is definitely not proper museum etiquette, and then the smash cut to Primo intimidating and robbing and murdering people? And that’s the opening of the whole show? And you’re like how are these characters connected and then they meet each other and it’s the fucking sunflower field scene??

Anyway aside from the fact that I think knowing the information in this episode would have made episodes 1 and 2 more interesting...it’s just a great fucking episode. It’s kinetic and propulsive and funny and tense and violent and features Primo’s sniper skills and his ass in those cornflower blue trousers. I rest my case.

2. Silenzio (episode 5)

I’ll be honest, I went back and forth on the top two a bunch. Silenzio is definitely my personal favorite episode, and I’d argue that it’s the best written, in terms of what it accomplishes narratively, which is to keep you emotionally invested in both Paul and Angelo trying to escape with their lives, and Primo and Leonardo hunting them down. That’s so fucking hard!! And yes some of it is great acting but it starts from the foundation of the writing. It’s just such a perfect little self-contained horror movie, and it has this profound sense of fatalism to it, because you know from the beginning (if only by virtue of only being halfway through the series) that Paul is not going to escape, and you sort of know that there is only one way this will end for Angelo. And yet they escape by the skin of their teeth so! many! times!

It’s also the episode where you see how much power the ‘Ndrangheta has over people’s lives in this community: Salvatore is like God, calling his servants to him with the church bells. Combine that with the visuals of two characters running for their lives mostly on foot through this unforgiving landscape, and you really get the sense of this environment as a harsh place where most people have a very constrained set of choices, and the claustrophobia of that. You get the sense in this episode that everyone is trapped in these expectations of violence and duty and honor. Angelo did what anyone with compassion would do, and saved Paul from what seemed like certain death, and he’s doomed for it. At the same time Primo is doing exactly what anyone would expect him to do in response to a subordinate who disobeyed him. In some ways the end of the episode feels inevitable, unsurprising, and yet they do SUCH a good job of winding up the tension until the literal last seconds of the episode, and then releasing it with a big dramatic bang. It’s so good!!

1. In the Name of the Father (episode 8)

Ok I’ll be honest the ONLY reason In the Name of the Father edged out Silenzio for the top spot is that it is really clear they pulled out all the stops in terms of making this episode feel extra heightened in a show where everything is already heightened. Like, the cinematography is different? They still use handheld a lot but I swear there are more still shots and more extreme, editorial camera angles like that shot of Francesco looking upward in church where the camera is looking down from above him. I can’t tell if they actually tweaked the color grading or if the bright white and blood red just stand out against the Calabrian color palette which is mostly earth tones, browns and greens and blues.

There are just. So many layers to this episode. The imagery! The literal sacrificial lamb at the beginning, Francesco being guided by Leonardo through an act of violence against an animal, something that I’m sure they don’t even see as violence but just part of farm life, part of survival and in this case part of a celebration, but something that fathers teach their sons how to do as part of becoming a man in this world. Paul as the metaphorical sacrificial lamb later, drawing parallels to Jesus (the lamb of God), Isaac (a father sacrificing his son), any number of martyred saints, pick your Catholic imagery. The blood of the lamb on the tree stump and Paul’s blood on the stone. The communion wafer (the body and blood of Christ) and Francesco at the end with Paul’s blood and a literal piece of his body held in his hands the same way.

And then there is like, the suspense of watching everyone marking time through the steps of this community ritual that’s supposed to be a joyful, communal celebration, while we know that there is a secret ticking away under the surface. The slow unfolding of the lie told to one person spreading to everyone in the village, and then the knowledge that Salvatore knows spreading to all the people who’ll be in trouble for that. The relationship arcs between the main Calabrian characters...not resolving, but sliding into place for the final act. Primo finally being done with Salvatore. Primo and Leo’s alliance being cemented and Leo physically stepping between Primo and Salvatore, to protect Primo. (No one ever protects Primo!! Still not over it!!!!) The confirmation celebration as a mirror of the Getty party in episode 1, the parallels drawn between the 3 Pauls and Salvatore-Primo-Francesco and how Primo reacts to being passed over as heir vs. how Paul Jr. reacts. Little Paul having two whole minutes of screen time and managing to break your heart with them. Regina! Just...Regina’s whole everything. The music going all-instrumental for an episode and having this haunting, dreamlike but still tense quality to it. And the fact that we never cut away from Calabria to another plotline gives the whole episode this hypnotic, all-encompassing quality. It’s just. SO GOOD!!!!