#uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fine

[nova-they-exist-yup]

Keep smiling through, just like you always do

[life-winners-liveblog]

Hmm what was the name... Oli?... No um... Mumber ... Urg whatever, I don't care! Moving on, could you tell us a bit about yourself fine sir? You seen very interesting!

*points the mic at Mexican Dream *

-Flutter! The funnest funniest ever in the history out there!

SL!Mumbo: O-oh! It's Mumbo! Mumbo Jumbo! T-thats my name...

...oh! R-right! MD?

MD: Heeeey man, wassup?

SL!Mumbo: H-hey? Can you...uh...say something about y-yourself?

MD: Sure maaan, names Mexican Dream but you can call me MD maan.

SL!Mumbo: Uh... a-anything else...man?

MD: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I can sell you weed if you wannit man.

SL!Mumbo: No! No! No! Not that!

MD: What can I say man? it is what it is.

SL!Mumbo: What!?! W-what are you talking about?

[patchdotexe]

doip. / 10.4.24: i was paying attention, i swear

von is here! hi von. what's your social security number

(nyx's fiance Von is now spectating! welcome to the Skeleton Crew, we're all insane. also i was running late because i had to see if vikingpilot was wearing the cat ears skin i made)

LAST TIME, ON STORM LORD'S WRATH!: i got distracted trying to stop pepper from eating cables. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

im being so good at staying on task. recording means that im being held accountable. i will be strong i did however have to go chase pepper out of my room. tragic

oh no nyx what did you do. everyone is freaking out about something in the stables and nyx mentioned there's a surprise at the bottom of the stairs. oh noooooo hey dauble. dauble did you resurrect some horses. "horses" last night the horses were dead. this morning the horses are now. "alive". dauble is not elaborating. alidaar would really like dauble to elaborate. dauble casted animate dead! which is not a normal druid thing because im pretty sure dauble isn't circle of spores. im pretty sure dauble took a level in cleric at some point with their costume change but

alidaar is finally starting to twig that something is Up with dauble. took him long enough. arepo has nudged alidaar to go get silla whle he and dauble deal with the zorses! dauble is not explaining anything.

i love silla. bottom text.

the fun part abt being the recorded pov is that things like me googling "minecraft zombie horse" is on tape

"alidaar goes 'peem poom'."

(alidaar did Facial Expressions about the situation and i was struggling to find a corresponding emoji.)

im diagnosing dauble with problems. the bpd animal is activated (silla is riding with alidaar) HOW HAS IT ONLY BEEN LIKE LESS THAN A MONTH IN-UNIVERSE. WHAT THE HELL silla is hitting on alidaar a bit but alidaar has no fucking idea. dauble is rolling in their grave

uh oh. there appears to be a Situation on the road. apparently a town evacuated and the townspeople are having a scuffle about it. something happened with the fishermen? stuff's wack with water. --oh, shit, there's kids missing. none of em are able to head back for the kids. GOOD NEWS, ADVENTURERS ARE HERE

alidaar has put sacks on the zorses. we're normal. dont think abt how our horses are green, please

arepo is stuck in his mind palace. alidaar is dissociating. Dauble Is Driving The Bus

(GOD I DONT REMEMBER WHAT THIS MEANS. ITS BEEN A MONTH. alidaar was Attempting To Cope with the dauble situation, and i think arepo had the realization that "oh, no, dauble isnt normally like this. this was a recent change. Uh Oh" because he joined after dauble's magical girl transformation)

HERE COMES THE. WATER?? WAGON?????? okay . we are here to kill the water wagon. got it boss

Silla Has Despawned. goodbye silla. dauble is finally happy

(alidaar got silla to take the zorses and run for safety)

im very bad at theater of the mind when it comes to The Cone (my breath weapons) so we are battling on the overworld hex map. this is fine

I HAVE FINALLY USED MY CLOUD RUNE. I DID IT MOM

arepo's words of inspiration to alidaar: "You are being so normal about all this." wh. why does dauble have higher ac than alidaar. what happened WHY CAN DAUBLE CAST INFLICT WOUNDS? actually i think dauble has done that before. perfectly normal druid

i keep peeking at the sbk discord and everything keeps devolving further into chaos.

(skyblock kingdoms was having an event. the event was "rebuilding parkour civilization in skyblock". at one point everyone ended up in cat maid skins. i was trying very hard to not look at the discord but there were SO MANY MESSAGES)

we have remembered that we are able to incapacitate people. fuck your monologue you're getting tied up

silla: oh no, you're hurt! ;o; alidaar: eh, ive had worse :,D dauble: I Am Literally Dying

arepo writes down "find therapist" in his notes. i dont think any amount of therapy can fix dauble

oh yeah we finally got the title drop! [alidaar voice] what the fuck's a storm lord ..OH. OH THE STORM LORD IS TALOS. OH! LIKE THE GUYS THAT KIDNAPPED AREPO! OHHHHHH

im spacing out HARD. apologies for the state of these notes. zzz

(again. skyblock kingdoms parkour civilization. and also generally being out of it. i COULD rewatch the recording to get a better concept of what happened but i dont feel like listening to myself talk for 2 hours rn)

[alidaar voice] WOAH, ITS ISOMETRIC!

(we reached Leilon! the map is isometric.)

OH . DAUBLE IS NEUTRAL EVIL NOW. SWAG.

[regretisstoredintheme]

Hi it's your local spawn from hell who wrote about Yandere Mickey-

Anyway, can little me request the turtaleles with pianist MC? Yeah thanks my ideas basic af leave me alone It can be a fic or hcs I don't give a fuck-

I'm just a ginger music nerd who craves content that isn't mine-

Makin my way downtown, walkin’ fa— OH?? WHATS THIS??

WHAT THE FUCK??

*SNATCHES PAPER*

“Pianocat939 asked:

Hi it's your local spawn from hell who wrote about Yandere Mickey- 

Anyway, can little me request the turtaleles with pianist MC? Yeah thanks my ideas basic af leave me alone It can be a fic or hcs I don't give a fuck-

I'm just a ginger music nerd who craves content that isn't mine-“

A/N: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE??? NONONO YOU BITCH YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO REQUEST FROM ME ??— IM YOUR BIGGEST FAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY INBOX🧍 

YES OFC ILL WRITE IT BUT WHAT??? IM OVER HERE MAKING YOU FANART AND SHIT IN THE BACK AND YOU JUST SAUNTER UP HERE LIKE “yo can I get uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh raggedy cloth and others with piano” GET THE FUCK OUT /j

——-

All turtles x Pianist!Reader

—

(In honor of this occasion I only see it fit to write with your cursed ass names) 

Raggedy Cloth:

HUGE sweetheart.

Likes to sit close to the bench, his head and arms propped up on the wood - taking up as little space as possible.

He watches closely, his tail wagging gently in anticipation as your fingertips drum on the keys. His smile widens as he hears the notes, snuggling up to you. 

Sometimes he has a hard time not hugging your torso, having you there in his arms just lulls the turtle right to sleep— doesn’t matter what you’re playing. 

You could be playing the most chaotic, horrifying, heart wrenching piece of sheet music and as long as he was hugging you, he’d be fine. In fact, he’s incredibly content!

If you gently pat his head before playing, the churring that vibrates from him is rather hard to play over— but eh who are you kidding? It adds a good baseline. 

He hardly notices anytime you mess up, and if it really starts to bug you - he’s rubbing up and down your back, telling you to take a break, get a snack, anything to help you calm down. 

Danielston III:

He isn’t exactly the type to sit and watch you play. 

However, when you had expressed an interest in piano, he quietly began working on a custom-made keyboard. Purple, of course.. with accents of your favorite color. 

It has more sounds than the original, and, it’s a lot more practical. 

It did come with headphones.. however, he may or may not have messed with the jack so it could hook up to his headphones as well — with Bluetooth.

You know how he records everything? 

…yeah.

Sometimes when he’s really overstimulated, he’ll just pull up recordings of your music, the sound calming his nerves until he can get himself back together. 

When he’s understimulated? There is nothing stopping him from remixing your talent.

He DEFINITELY adds your mess - ups too, he thinks your tirades of frustration are actually really humorous.

I like to think he makes most of his ‘jammy jams’ by himself, considering how he knows what he likes, but you know.

Overall he appreciates your talent— but in secret. He’d die before letting you know how much he relies on it. 

Mikey Mouse:

Loves your playing so much!! 

Theres no better feeling then listening to you play and working on his art— he considers you an incredible artist, especially if you compose your own music. 

His mood depends on what you’re playing, it can really affect what he plans on drawing.

If you play chaotic things, he acts like he doesn’t mind at all!! And really he doesn’t, but if you look over his shoulder, you’ll notice it’s inspired him to draw his own chaotic things..  

Things you wouldn’t even wanna unleash on your own worst enemy.

Everytime you finish a song or overcome a rut you were in, he’s bombarding you with compliments. 

“That one was so cool, Y/N!”

“Where did you learn to play like that?”

“You did it! I’m so proud of you..” 

incredibly genuine too— like it’s overflowing.

I feel like this was short, but there’s not really much to say about the mikester 😭 Hes just content to be in your presence. He sees you as an artist the same as him, same level and creative ability. He loves being around you.

Tableo:

He makes sure you have a couch instead of a bench for your piano

Why? 

So he can lean against you and prop his legs up on the armrests of course!!

He’s quick to point out when you do something impressive, like a chord progression you had been practicing all day. his brows furrow as he gives you his signature smirk, “Class-ayy~” 

He often reads comics while you play, chuckling anytime you mess up. 

If you point out his laughter, there is LOADS of teasing in for you. 

“I don’t see what’s so hard!” He laughs, as you scoff, asking him to play it if it’s so easy! “Well, you can’t expect me to just do it perfectly with hands like these..” he gestures to his 6 fingers, but scoots closer to you anyway, muttering something about how “but.. if you insist~”

He’s surprisingly really good his first try! Great for someone with “hands like his”.

If you try to teach him though, he’s yawning through your whole lecture — instead staring at you and how prettily your features meshed together. 

“Leo? Did.. you hear anything I just said..?”

“Hehehehhh.. nope. ♡”

He’s.. Shameless..!

Absolutely…

Shameless.

——

A/N: PLS EXCUSE ME FOR BEING SUCH A FANBOYJFHJDHS op is just really cool ♡

[oatmealcrisp-freak]

Little preview of the next Single chapter cus uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh idk when the rest is gonna happen SO HERE

“Big brother,” Yuuta said with complete seriousness. “Why do you have a baby.”

Kusuo debated. It took him about three seconds.

He said, “Why shouldn’t I have a baby?”

Yuuta squinted. It was hilarious to watch the kid’s face work as he mulled over the riddle Kumi presented, one which Kusuo had decided not to answer so easily because this was all Yuuta’s fault, really, at the end of the day. It was his little bit of fanfiction slash creative writing project that’d gone viral and meant people were leaving Kusuo prayers at the hokora after all. Why he’d even posted it on his blog to begin with Kusuo wasn’t sure, certainly it wasn’t poorly written but what it was was embarrassing.

He ignored the flash of intuition that said to look at the hokora. Not for the first time today, either. He was tired, damnit, and still dealing with the other o-

Yuuta said, “Did you kidnap a baby?”

Kusuo’s jaw dropped in offense. “What? No! Why would you even say such a thing?”

Kumi’s presence in his home was entirely legal, thank you very much.

“Well you’re not married and last I checked, you’re still more interested in dating coffee jelly over people,” Yuuta said, grinning ear to ear but there was a tick in his eyebrow that told Kusuo he was, for some reason, not as happy as the rest of his face told. “So it’s not like you could conceive naturally. She doesn’t look like a clone, or like an experiment your older brother cooked up, so that only leaves one option.”

Yuuta ducked closer to the phone and raised his hand to hide his mouth from the side, pretending to a slyness he really didn’t actually have. “Do you need help burying the bodies?”

Kusuo stared.

Sometimes Yuuta’s imagination was a little frightening. He could only guess what the kid must be thinking for him to ask something like that.

As if Kusuo would ever need help disposing of remains. Tch. But anyways.

He sighed as Yuuta cracked up into laughter, no doubt his so called ‘little brother’ was enjoying teasing him. Fine. He’d let the kid get the one up over him this time.

Even though calling Yuuta a kid was a bit of a misnomer by now. He was in college after all. Just about done, too.

“The only body around here worth burying is yours, kid.” Kusuo said, looking down at his little girl. 

She looked confused, insomuch as an infant could look confused, and he could feel her developing mind cranking hard in an attempt to figure out where the brand new voice was coming from.

“What?! Mine?” Yuuta squawked.

Successfully distracted from his daughter’s cute little face, Kusuo looked into his phone. He even arched an eyebrow, for the benefit of appearing arch. 

“Yours. You’ll never guess,” Kusuo lifted Kumi a touch. “What I found at a certain hokora, in the rain, with a cup of coffee jelly.”

His intuition pinged again. He ignored it. Again. It was easy, because Yuuta’s face was falling into a very entertaining cringe that told Kusuo yes, he understood. He understood very well.

“Ah.” Yuuta said.

“Ah.” Kusuo agreed.

“But that’s insane,” Yuuta said a handful of minutes later. “Why on earth would a person leave a baby in a hokora?”

Kusuo shrugged as he poured himself a cup of coffee, one eye on Kumi’s nearly sleeping face, the other on the coffee pot. The phone levitated to his left, keeping Yuuta’s face in view.

“As far as I can tell they may not even be from earth. Our earth, anyway.” Kusuo said, setting down the coffee pot and starting on doctoring it to his preferences. “Her mother has uncontrollable psychic powers that tear her around dimension after dimension. I’m not altogether unfamiliar with it, it’s a bit of a pain. Not a suitable environment for raising a baby in, at all.”

His intuition again. Uhg, it was so itchy today. Leave him alone.

“So she left it in the rain? No, I still don’t buy it, not when she knew enough about our world to get you a coffee jelly,” Yuuta, lover of sci-fi anime and flexible punch-roller-wither, said. “If she knows about coffee jelly then certainly she knows about police, why not leave the baby there?”

There was an undercurrent to Yuuta’s voice that made Kusuo’s other sense of intuition perk up to nag at him, his more earthly sense, the one that had known instinctively that punks were trying to hassle him when he’d been oh so temporarily powerless all the way back in high school. It made him look up into the camera after he finished preparing his coffee. It made him look at Yuuta’s face. The boy was a man now, tanned from the outdoors, his green hair cut short but still long enough to flip out from under the edges of his beanie. His jaw was stronger, and his shoulders wider, but those big green eyes were looking, somehow, someway, very five years old.

“Yuuta,” Kusuo said. “What’s the matter?”

Yuuta appeared taken aback. He puffed himself up.

“Well. It’s just not right, leaving a baby like tha-”

“That’s not what I’m talking about Yuuta, and you know it.” Kusuo said around a sip of his coffee, his unblinking eyes now fully focused on the young man before him.

Yuuta blinked. He looked down, then, avoiding his eyes, and Kusuo knew immediately that something was definitely up. Yuuta only ever avoided his eyes like that when he’d been caught out at something.

Some things really never changed.

Yuuta blew out a sigh. He smiled. He looked a bit embarrassed. “It’s nothing.” He said.

“Then it’s nothing to talk about it,” Kusuo said, getting a bit irritated because uhg, if this was nothing if just not him, prying at people’s problems like he wanted more of them. 

But this was Yuuta. If there was anyone Kusuo should be allowed to prod and pry at, he decided, it was Yuuta. Payback, fair and square and such, right? Right.

Yuuta scratched his cheek with a short laugh. “Well. When you put it like that. Uh.”

He sighed and dropped the pretence of a smile, his shoulders slouching.

“I’m just. Being silly, I think. Really, it’s-it’s nothing. I’m. Just.”

Yuuta forced another short laugh. “I mean, I called you up for help on my homework cus you’re always good for that, but.”

He looked down, probably at his feet if Kusuo had to guess.

“It’s not like you can just drop everything to come help me anymore.”

Ah.

Hm.

So this was a bit awkward.

“You’re jealous of Kumi,” Kusuo surmised, perhaps a little too abrupt to be gentle but, well, he’d never been the gentle sort and Yuuta knew that. Still, it hurt to see the kid drop a short flinch, but then Yuuta was flushing hot around the ears and Kusuo knew that even without the aid of his telepathy for all this distance, he was right.

“It’s silly, right? I mean. She’s a baby. And I’m definitely not that anymore. But.” Yuuta’s shoulders rode in a onesided shrug. “I guess in some ways I must still be a kid, to be jealous of your kid like this. I mean, we’re not even related, like at all, and it’s not like you’re my dad, it’s just.”

Then Yuuta sighed, a long and tragic affair indeed, and looked up at Kusuo with eyes that made him want to flinch because it was those very eyes that’d sucker punched him how many years ago now, when Yuuta had been barely five years old and whimpering up at the sky after his lost balloon. Good grief, he was such a sucker.

“You’re still my big brother, right?” 

Ah… Ah hell. 

What else could he say to that, what else could he do? 

But bear the uncomfortable brunt of reassuring another person.

Kusuo smiled. 

He said, 

“Of course.”

Yuuta blinked, looking a little flummoxed, but then shortly relieved and he coughed into his fist, itching at a bottom eyelid and pretending he wasn’t a little teary eyed. Kusuo’s smile quirked to the left and he shook his head.

“I might not be able to teleport to be there in an instant anymore, Yuuta, you’re right about that. But that doesn’t mean I can’t still help you with your homework. We just have to do things the, uh, normal way.”

“I guess you’re right about that.” Yuuta sighed then the background behind him stopped moving, signifying that he’d stopped walking, and Kusuo got to recognize the buildings behind him as their old stomping grounds. Even like this, his old neighbourhood was nostalgic to look at for some reason. “That’s still too bad though.”

Kusuo blinked. “How come?”

Yuuta lifted a plastic bag and looked at it with an atrocious pout. “What am I going to do with all this coffee jelly? You know I can’t stand the stuff.”

Kusuo’s jaw dropped, but he shortly picked it up again, but he also didn’t know what to say, and he was sure he looked very consternated right now indeed because Yuuta was cracking up, the brat.

[achantersayswhat]

This post is a formal apology to Gale Dekarios of Waterdeep, who I spent my first couple of runs aggressively friendzoning because I was worried I'd trigger his romance path accidentally because I thought he had that vibe*. I am now doing a Gale romance run and have a better appreciation for how much work you actually have to put in to get this man to try and fuck you. Mae has been trying to hit since the tiefling party** and wishes it did not take the threat of imminent orb explosion to get them across the finish line but what are you gonna do.

*I attribute this fear at least partially to the fact that even if you're not romancing Gale you get some cutscenes with him that are CLEARLY potential romance setups so like on my first run I had Saffria who is just trying to a) get her vampire boyfriend to admit he has feelings for her and/or b) get her druid crush to stop eyefucking her and start actually fucking her and instead of making progress towards either of those goals she is currently sitting on a blanket under a starry sky with Gale while he says things like "the timelessness of lovers" and Saffria is like "look I want to be gentle because I know you're dealing with a lot right now but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh buddy where is this going".

**Mae DID end up sleeping with Astarion in the meantime because what is she gonna do, NOT sleep with the hot vampire who propositions her at a party, and I was a little worried about that because I've never broken up with anyone in this game before, but fortunately I got the post-Araj version of the feelings talk before Gale's romance scene and Astarion's reaction to being told "maybe what you need is a friend" is actually lovely so that worked out fine.

[five-or-so-missing-children]

//Pokemon AU Rambling Post

//Wow, this post is long.

Obviously, almost every kid wants to be a trainer. It's cool, like being a pro athlete. I think that also applies to most of these kids, too.

Derek, Chelsea, arguably Ron, and Jack would be the only ones to have actual "battle-ready" Pokemon given their age group, even if they wouldn't be anywhere above Lv15 at the very best.

That said, the only one of them I could imagine with a "proper" starter Pokemon is Derek, and that would be Rowlett. Back when TPC were teasing Gen7, I remember seeing Dartrix and immediately thinking of him, to the point I named my own Rowlett in Ultra Moon after him.

Chelsea would have a Ponyta - from Kanto, because Galar is too new-school. Lowkey Lass energy, probably might also have a Fairy-type that may or may not have been retyped yet, or some kind of Pika-clone. Something just to be cute on top of the more composed and competitive horsey.

Ron and Jack are surprisingly difficult to vibe check Pokemon-wise, but they also overlap a bit... Their Pokemon would be less flashy and impressive. I think Ron would have a baby Pokemon that he's super proud of, even if he is on the less brawny side as his friends at the present. Maybe a Pichu or Togepi. His dad worked very hard to get it for him. I am also inexplicably drawn to Wooloo but that may be my sheep bias talking so I will not say anything for certain.

Jack would probably get something extra from his older brother, Jeff, but nothing impressive. I'm drawn to a lot of Unova Pokemon for him, too... To give it some lore, let's say he picked an elemental monkey, and Jeff went, "You know what, I know how to make your team better," and got him something to cover a weakness. Maybe Blitzle if he picked Pansear, or Drillbur if he picked Panpour/Pansage.

He also feels like he'd have a Ralts. Somehow. But also, I feel that's a bit much/brawny for him.

Jeff is probably old enough to have probably caught a cute little Stufful and raised it long enough for it to evolve into Bewear, and it freaks Jack out sometimes with how destructive it can be.

Luke has Youngster energy. He scrounged together enough money to buy a ball and catch his own Patrat or Lillipup or a bug or something. He probably got a little injured in the process but he's fine, that's just how kids are. He also probably has a family dog Pokemon of some sort at home already.

Will would be the kind of kid though to have befriended something wild at a young age, and also have that thing have stupidly high potential. That said, he also has Espurr energy.

Maybe he'd also "share" something with Derek. Something his older brother caught him and is helping him raise until he's old enough. A bird or bug, perhaps. Natu?

Assigning every kid a Pokemon based on their animatronic would be too easy. :P Besides, there aren't any chicken Pokemon besides Torchic...

Though if I had to assign each kid a proper starter in some kind of "Nobody Dies AU", let's sayyy: Derek = Rowlett, Chelsea = Tepig, Ron = Chikorita, Luke = Charmander, Will = Squirtle, Jack = Piplup.

You also get long rambling about the PGs also because they are my favorite employees. As for my night guards, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sorry.

Porfirio is the kind of guy who doesn't stop until he gets what he wants, so the second he learned what shinies are, he would've thrown away hours of his life to get his hands on the perfect one, even as someone too young to have a Pokemon. So he has a Shiny Gourgeist he calls Dyniusia ("Little Pumpkin") almost as old as he is, and it's Super size for good measure. A tall purple Pokemon that kills people and loves to sing - just like its trainer! It's his prized possession and it totally gets him, so that's why it's the only living thing he treats with any genuine sort of affection and comradery. (I don't wanna make anyone mean to Pokemon, that's going too far.) Maybe he would've been a decent competitive trainer if he wasn't such an awful person...

Alexander, on the other hand, is the kind of guy who doesn't have the constitution to be a sporty trainer, but plenty of non-trainers have domestic Pokemon, and he would be no different! He'd have a Chatot. It always comes back to Chatot. He gets talkative when he's anxious, so having a chatty friend to bounce off of feels appropriate! Plus, my perception of Chatot being an organized managerial type has been heavily influenced by PMD... Unfortunately, it works as an emotional support Pokemon as frequently as it doesn't. He might complain to it about a certain person... and then it'll say those things right back to their face. It makes him die a little inside every time, but what can you do?

There would be a lot of Shuppet hanging around the pizzeria (since they're attracted to "vengeful emotions", such as those a group of murdered spirits would have), which… doesn't help its reputation.

Something something Lavender Town.

Something something Phantump.

I think someone should set a Drampa loose in Porfirio's house. I think only good things could come from that.

[diana-berry]

saw ur tiktok today.... why you so damn fine? i gotta wait 5 years to be legal tho. immature be back for u bbg

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

What the fuck?

[meadowmines]

OC and Majima headcanon bullshit that is tickling my funnybone

Some background: as was mentioned in passing in Safety Man, back when Aoyagi first fell in with the Majima Family he ran a cafe for them, and he frequently used both his boss and his bro as taste testers for new recipes.

Anyway. He's got Nishida and Majima over at his place to feed them several variations on the theme of strawberry cheesecake and get their honest opinion on which recipe the cafe should go with. And they're like two slices in and everything is going fine, he's getting plenty of great feedback from both of them, and then out of nowhere Majima pops off with:

"Man, I fuckin' love strawberries. They're like nature's pop rocks."

Now. Several times a day, Aoyagi and Nishida will do this thing, this thing where they have this very specific conversation with nothing but their eyes, and it goes a little something like...

Aoyagi: what the fuck is he talking about now

Nishida: I don't know and at this point I'm afraid to ask

And Aoyagi knows he probably doesn't want to know but he also knows he's going to be lying in bed at like three in the morning thinking pop rocks!? so he clears his throat and goes "...pop rocks? explain please?"

"What, you never had pop rocks? Y'know, them little fizzy shits that pop in your mouth?"

Nishida just blinks at him. "...strawberries aren't fizzy though?"

To which Majima responds, as he does, by getting right up in Nishida's grill. "Awright, smart guy," he says, "if they ain't fizzy, how come they make yer mouth all tingly?"

At which point Aoyagi just makes this little hrk!! noise and Nishida knows that little hrk!! noise means a penny has dropped in his bro's head and there are only so many pennies that can drop around the subject of a specific food making someone's mouth tingly and they look at each other and have the other silent conversation they have at least a few times a day:

Aoyagi: are you gonna tell him or do I have to

Nishida: he's less likely to hit you for it so...

So Aoyagi just very slowly reaches out and starts pulling the cheesecake out of Majima's reach and as casually as he can, goes "sir have you uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... ever been tested for allergies?"

Which, of course, Majima poo-poohs as he's grabbing his cheesecake back and shoveling it into his face.

(he goes and gets tested the next day without telling anyone he's doing that and to absolutely nobody's surprise rolls up to the family office all "so anyway I'm allergic to strawberries" and Aoyagi and Nishida just give each other a Look and go "oh wow bummer anyway let's talk about literally anything else other than how we fuckin told you")

[thiriumhound]

uh. ummmmm

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

ok tbh i interpret post-canon as a world irrevocably changed so i can’t see him in evacuated detroit really having a job at all. he and the other humans are just tryna survive (has everyone forgotten the water cuts, school closures, blackouts etc? the entire country is falling apart now that androids aren’t running shit, do people seriously think shit’s just going back to normal after a month??)

ik im the odd one out there though, so... in a world where shit goes back to normal? god idk. in the economy cyberlife’s created it’s not like he can just casually get a job in whatever the individual writer decides he’s into outside of police work, but again that’s addressing the collapse of the country that everyone’s ignoring. so gardening, maybe? he does have a lot of little potted plants, and it might be good for his mental health to take care of them. maybe connor recommends it to him. the issue is again no one would be buying the stupid plants when they’re all too focused on tryna figure out how to live when no one has the expertise to fill the ESSENTIAL jobs androids had, and companies’ budgets are now based around the idea that they don’t have to pay workers anymore so they can’t feasibly rehire any humans left that DO know what to do- but WE’RE IGNORING THAT.

i guess im kinda converting myself to the other side of fowler letting him keep his job out of a ridiculous amount of grace again....... that “can’t you back me up this one time” line always gets me cause there aint no way hank kept his job for the past couple years with his alcoholism and rampant skipping and lack of motivation to do literally anything to contribute to investigations for any reason other than fowler backing him up for the past YEARS lmao

anyway assuming i’m catastrophizing and actually the country pieces itself back together just fine, i’d go with gardening. i guess. really it just depends on how the individual writer interprets him and his likely hobbies. either that or any basic or odd jobs he can get ahold of- do you know how many jobs todd bounced between before being forced to settle on drugs? >_> becoming lieutenant from such a young age probably means that’s all he had going on, so it’s not like hank’s likely to have some secret degree up his sleeve...

Folks who oppose the headcanon of Hank being back at DPD post revolution, can you please share your alternatives?

[goosedawn]

*stares at my queue* ITS COMIN >:]

[clownkiwi]

And here is what I could consider my most painful moments in streaming.

[zwiebelii]

MAIMAIMAIMAIMAIMAIMAIMAIMAIMAI

[deadlysilence]

*What? I do it all the time. I tell the audience everything they are thinking.*

Wait WHA

*Yup*

EVERYTHING!?!?!?

*Uh-huh.*

LITERALLY?!?!?!

*Yes siry.*

EVEN-

*Y-e-s*

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

{Oh no...}

-Lïñdæ has/

*Yeah, yeah, we know. She's broken-stop it.*

-/jeez, fine, I shouldn't bother. Jeez. Im not getting paid enough for this.-

*Wait what?*

-Nothing. I'm going to shut up now.-

*Good.*

{Uh, Jax, some help with Weird?}

..Wait a sec, Void's been gnawing on a pipe? AND broke it? ..How strong even are those teeth of hers?

Oh, hi green!

I really don't know-hey VOID!

(@amazing-digital-insanity)

I WANT TO TRY SOMETHING!!!

[aaaaagaronia]

me, looking at the stuff i have on trivians: guess im redoing yall again

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

AirLock Anon:

Oh! How about this one with a paranoid Mack and Impostor Y/N?

“Why where you venting?!” 

“I was cleaning the vent-“ 

“oh. Alr.” 

HEHEHEHE YESSSSSSS

You slipped into the vent fixing your helmet to cover your alien eyes and mouth. You got rid of the wires and your partner probably was out there somewhere. 

You slid out covered in dust before seeing the lights flick on, Mack standing there almost frightened. “Why where you VENTING?!” He whisper screeched as you crawled out cleaning off the dust. “I was cleaning the vent!” You gave a thumbs up and grabbed a random cloth. 

“Oh. Well Alright I suppose. Be careful!” He mumbled as you sat by the vent scrubbing off the dust. “Alrighty bye bye Mack!” You waved as he walked out. 

You started choking on the dust. “Holy shit- does nobody clean these damn things?!” You grumbled climbing back in and scrubbing down the metal. “Ew.” You hissed as you arrived in electrical and wiped the dust off your helmet.

You took it off and cleaned the inside not noticing Mack frozen in fear. “Y-your-“ you shot up and locked the door tackling Mack. “AHH! Don’t EAT ME!!” He tried shoving you off as you covered his mouth. “Dude SHHH! I won’t eat you your skin and bones!”

He stopped and tilted his head. “Thank you. Ehem now your not gonna tell a soul. Alright? And I’ll get you onto the new planet that I inhabit that your heading too! Deal? If you don’t I’ll- uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-“ you hissed not thinking of a good threat taking the gloved hand off his mouth. “If you keep my secret i’lllllllll- Give you a kiss!” You smiled snapping as Mack paused. 

“Why would I want a kiss from you?!” He spat as you leaned over him sticking out your tongue. “It won’t be boring. And you’ll live!” You slowly shifted your weight off of him letting him slide out. The door opened and you hugged him into your body. 

You faked heavy breaths as Crew walked in all worried. “I saw the Imposter! I saved Mack before it struck! I’ll take him to med bay.” You huffed faking a wobble as you covered your face with your helmet. 

“Fine deal whatever!” He groaned as you walked back to Med Bay. You sat Mack on the Bed as he tried getting up before you shoved him down. 

“Good human!” You grinned and moved your helmet slightly up and gently kissed his cheek. His face bloomed red as you hurried out before he could process. You laughed quietly and ducked into your cabin and laid on the bed. 

The fellow Alien walked in grinning. “Hood lie. You eat that Human?” You groaned covering your face. “I’Ve gone SOOOFT!!” You hissed rolling over. “Youuuu have a crush! Haha! I KNEW IT!!” Your partner laughed as you just groaned. 

“You can keep em! I don’t care.” You perked and grinned. “REALLY!” “Sure!” You cheered and kicked your legs getting ready for sleep in the tight bunk bed. 

“Your so cool for that man!” “Shhhhh. I’m trying to sleep.” You laughed and turned over welcoming that peaceful rest.

Crossover of the century right here besties ^^^^^^