#uhhhhhhhhh whats a good tag for my writing

[cleocatrablossy]

Out of all ways to spend a sunset, checking flintlocks upon the Death Valley Queen was never one Martyn expected. Of every way to spend an evening, staying aboard a different ship was never one Martyn wanted. And out of every way to spend a day, planning an attack with the “Seven Deadly Sins” was never one Martyn even considered.

Scar is next to him repairing any pistols with damage to them, helping keep them in check. And soon it’ll be dinner, and after that he can go right back to the Biting Tide. No one would be able to blame him for wanting to get back on it. Especially not when he’s stuck on a sloop that’s been adapted for a seven-man crew. As opposed to that, the Biting Tide was a galleon. Well and spacious enough for its sixty-man crew. The nigh perfect repair on its hull being his pride and joy.

And yet here he was, checking that the flint wasn’t dulled. For a likely damned attack on an Ocean Empire trading ship they’d seen. A sloop and galleon split between a total crew sixty-seven likely wouldn’t do any good against a full rigged ship with fourteen guns and naval officers on board.

The flint in the pistol he had in his hand wasn’t worn yet, but the barrel was fouled. He passed it off his left. Scar took it from his hand.

“Barrel’s the issue.” He huffed, reaching over to grab the next pistol to check. There was a couple seconds’ silence as he made sure there was nothing in the gun. Then Scar spoke.

“Are you alright? You’ve seemed down this whole time.” He asks. A quick glance over reveals he’s using the gun as a prop of sorts, as he rifles through a crate of various tools.

“I guess, I just can’t shake the feeling we’re sailing to our deaths.” He says. He can hear Scar set the pistol down, and then a warm hand rests on his shoulder.

“Well never fear Martyn, you’re with us- the Seven Deadly Sins! The greatest terrors of the ocean since the kraken. Should everything go well we won’t even have needed to check the guns, they’ll just surrender when we raise the flag!” Scar half yells, shaking his shoulder a bit. The absolute madman is grinning ear to ear.

“You know, I’m almost jealous of your confidence.” Martyn gets out, before his breathing is overtaken by laughs.

“Oh, I think you’re looking for the wrong person then. Envy’s Gem, I’m Gluttony remember.” Scar says, mock offense twisting in his voice. It would sound more like a threat than anything if not for the fact his shoulders shook.

“Oh, yeah yeah. You know what I meant.” Martyn says, returning to his task of checking the pistol.

“Of course, of course.” Scar said, taking his hand back and beginning on filling the divots in the barrel.

He could hear people milling about between the ships. Cleaning cannons, checking stocks, repairing sails, double checking rigging and so on.

“If we die, do you think the void will let us sink into a peaceful nothingness?” He asks, turning over his shoulder slightly, placing down the gun in the ‘good working condition’ pile and grabbing another.

“Wow, you’re actually pretty concerned with this. But, hmm. We aren’t good men, Martyn. The most mercy we can ask for is a clean shot through the head.” Scar says, knocking his knuckles to his temple for added effect.

“I guess. Just wondering. We’ll probably make it out though, hopefully.” He half mumbles. Scar sets down the pistol he had into the slowly growing pile. He passes Scar his pistol, pointing to the flint.

“Hopefully!” Scar says, voice as cheerful as someone seeing their first festival. With how cheerful he remained, it was surprising he wasn’t drunk. But hey, to brand yourself as an embodiment of evil it must take some level being messed up. Speaking of, he may as well get the story behind that.

“Hey, why do you lot go by seven deadly sins? Neither Grian nor Pearl mentioned when they left the Evolutionist.” Martyn asks. There’s a beat of near silence. The waves eating any noise from beyond them.

“Well we were already being called demons, just decided to go all in.” Scar says, his tone flat before picking up again as he continued, “Was worth it though, absolutely! Turns out folks either call us mad or think the name is true, either way we’re feared enough it hardly ever comes down to a fight.”

“Makes sense I guess.” Martyn says, picking up another pistol. They had four more to go, then their job for the night was done. They were gotten through in silence.

Martyn let the folks dealing with the black powder below deck know the pistols were all set, and found a place by the railing to sit and watch the ocean rush against the ship. Waves being cut through by boats anchored side by side. The moon was just starting to show on the water, the last dregs of sunlight fading from the sky.

[apopcornkernel]

thank u @lisascumslut78 for the tag <33

tag game: tag 9 people you’d like to get to know better.

last song: kalachuchi by munimuni! OHHH BUWAN NG MAYOOOO

currently watching: nothing hdfkjg im not good at watching things

three ships: right now it has to be the jli 3,,, blue & gold, fire & ice (ft. guy, me and my girlfriend and my girlfriend's boyfriend yk), and ofc j'onn/max <3

favorite color: ALSO PURPLE!!!!

currently consuming: jli comics,, it's a little obvious from the state of my blog shfjhfdkfg

first ship: first real ship that made me actually search the internet for content was,, artemis fowl and holly short 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

relationship status: single 😔

last movie: uhhhhhhhhh. i genuinely don't know. it might have been rewind???

currently working on: okay i havent actually touched writing in quite a bit but this is the most recent one i've edited - jingfu propaganda movement au!!

a'ge ("ah geh" like "get" without the "t") is hokkien for a'xuan 阿玄

kieng goan ("kyung", the "k" is more "g"-like, the "un" is like "uncle"; "gwan", swan but with the "g" from "get") is hokkien for jing yuan

“Get on that boat already,” Fu Xuan complains, pushing him forward. In doing so she loses her grip on the umbrella, and it hits him on the shoulder, and he’s laughing so hard that he can almost ignore the heat and sweat collecting beneath his barong. “Now that I won’t miss,” Jing Yuan says. He stoops to retrieve the still-open umbrella, then offers it back to her. “You never know what you have until it’s gone,” Fu Xuan says, primly accepting it. Her fingers close atop his, sun-warm. He looks at her. He dares not remove his hand from beneath hers. The frisson of doubt returns. “A’ge,” he says. A long, low whistle. Fu Xuan tilts her head. “That’s you.” Jing Yuan exhales. “So it is indeed.” “I’ll write,” Fu Xuan offers, when he makes no move to leave. He nods. “And Mimi…” “I’ve promised not to sell her.” Jing Yuan laughs, but it peters out quickly. “A’ge, really. I can’t believe I’m doing this.” “We’ve talked this over a million times.” And she clasps her other hand around the umbrella’s handle, so that both of her hands enclose his. “Go, Kieng Goan. I have everything taken care of.” Jing Yuan nods again, and blinks back the tears pricking in his eyes. Reluctantly, he extricates his fingers from hers, picks up his trunk, and bids her goodbye.

tagging @sapphyreblayze @an-android-child @theladyfae @queer-cosette anyone who sees this and wants to!!

[box-architecture]

Sam

First Impression

Little bastard man. I remember thinking "he's probably unfathomably horny." because look at him. Look at all his problems.

Impression now

wet pathetic puppycat all alone in his cardboard box waiting to be told how very good he is for putting up with the rain he could easily avoid by just going inside.

Favorite Moment

He cannibalized his own fucking arm. Whats wrong with him. Why was that his response to his situation. Is he going to do that every time he gets stressed out and anxious and out of control. YOU CAN GET A LOT OF CHARACTER FROM THIS BULLSHIT. (he said the Egg forced him to do it but I do not for one second believe it said "eat yourself." He did that shit on his own.)

Idea for a story

hahahahahaha. I have a lot of ideas. Many of which you have been forced to bear witness to. If I had to choose something that wasn't already put on this blog though uhhhhhhh alternate universe where Sam refused to let Quackity torture Dream, and any torture that happened was from Sam alone. Or a mass effect crossover where Dream is a Quarian and Sam is a Turian, because I think they could be filled with problems. Or a fun fantasy universe where Sam is a righteous paladin who needs to get fucked senseless by the evil overlord (Dream) he's been trying to slay. Or-

Unpopular Opinion

uhhhhhhhhh writing him only as an abusive domineering asshole who goes Grrr Grrr is really boring and is done to death. Put that guy into some situations, make him be whiny and pathetic. Make him super subby and actually secretly want Dream to dom him. Make him whimper and cry and beg Dream to let Sam fuck him. Make him soft and sweet and have him work through his control issues and be forced to reckon with what he's done and then get better. I want to pull up the Sam/Dream tag and scroll down and see something that isnt "non/con torture abuse Dream isn't even a character he's just a punching bag"

I don't actually know if that's an unpopular opinion I just really want content

Favorite relationship

Sam/Dream, or Sam/Dream/Punz. Sam/Punz is also very good but I don't want to have them Without A Dream because I am Normal. I think Drunz can rewire his brain. They can fix him, they can make him worse. They can fuck him into oblivion. Listen to me.

Favorite Headcanon

He has OCD/OCPD. This started with my friend who has OCD going "yesyesyseyes he experiences Symptoms" but now its just kind of permanently etched into my brain. Of course he needs to do certain things to consider himself a Good Person. Of Course he has Rules that Must Be Followed. Of course he needs routine and schedules and gets anxious when things are Wrong. He's just a little guy.

[jenevawashere]

Writers Truth & Dare Ask Game

🎱 ⇢ post your AO3 total stats: how about no

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?  I wanted Wanda Maximoff in the X-men movies. I had a vision for it and I might revisit it someday...

🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6mwovYLQUxzDlP3bR1L5GS?si=baa885e9c42c4fc9

🕯️ ⇢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that? seven. It has become more enjoyably as my writing style has changed. I edit as I go because I write in chunks, then go back and edit when I hit a metaphorical wall.

🛼 ⇢ describe your latest wip with five emojis: ok! good luck decoding this shit: 📍🛑🔩👁️🍫

🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help? none of them are on here that I know of but Q and S. Maybe G depending on who...

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love: I have a whole list. So instead, here's a shit ton of my bookmarks. https://archiveofourown.org/users/FriendofthePhoenix1234/bookmarks

💌 ⇢ how many unread emails do you have right now?  5 in the main

🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis: How do you tag on here? Seriously, not a joke I have yet to learn that skill.

🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both? Original or existing characters.

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before: I'm allergic to watermelon. No idea how the fuck that is possible but it happens.

🎲 ⇢ what stops you from writing more in your free time? Short answer? Life. Long answer? Also life. And procrastination.

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favorite ships or pairings: uhhhhhhhhh NEXT!

🧸 ⇢ what's the fastest way to become your mutual? shit if I know. Just hang out and say hi every once in a while. If we share fandoms, then cool! *shrugs in idk*

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now: finally having a job, a few projects to switch through, and my cat.

📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app? fic notes. See previous wip related question to try and figure that out

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character: I'm gonna have to come back to this one. Brain overloaded when this question came up

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project? recently? (more on a personal level in terms of weirdness) a bunch of information on science related topics. I was the arts kid in a stem class so you can imagine how weird searching for that stuff is.

🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on: "Be the kool aid man."

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best? My doctor who fics and literally anyone else that isn't me and has a much better understanding of the whoniverse.

🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity: there's no advice from me. It happens, sometimes for months on end and it sucks.

🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh: Oh boy! We have another list! "Burn it. Burn the jacket." "A fire? At the sea parks?!" "Hamburger (the H is silent in this context)" "Surprise harmonica" and I'm going to stop listing things now...

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work? ANY! Seriously, even if it's a single emoji, please say something. Kudos can only do so much, and that's assuming I count them.

🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate: I just spent a good five minutes trying to remember what character I hate. I think I've blocked them out in all honesty.

🥝 ⇢ do you lie a lot? what's the most recent lie you told? I have the memory of a goldfish, you expect me to remember that?

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately: I hate Hate HATE gathering basting stitches SO MUCH 

🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing? Music.

🍅 ⇢ give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing: what you think is bad, someone else will think is good. What you think is good, someone else will think is bad.

🐚 ⇢ do you like or dislike surprises? depends on a lot of factors here. Need more specifics.

🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here: *panics* Have 58 instead! *awkward jazz hands*

Lars had forgotten his keys at work. He had made it all the way to the door before he realized he couldn’t get into his flat - apartment according to Americans. He still called it the “wrong thing,” no matter how many times he was corrected. 

“Of fucking course.” He rolled his eyes as his shoulders slumped in defeat.

☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username? X-men fan. Jean Grey is a favorite. That's where all the Phoenix stuff in my original username came from. The one on here is a pseudonym.

🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them: I ask again. HOW DOES ONE TAG?

🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them: Cat and no. You don't deserve picture of my baby floof.

🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it: ...am I allowed to say a whole book? If yes, then the Scarland Art Book that was literally just announced.

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately? Stuff I don't like.

[setaflow]

Getting to know y’all

I got tagged by @beammeupbroadway and finally had a second to do this! Thank you or thinking of me, fren 🥰 ❤️

Nickname: Seta is honestly just fine. Y'all don't need to know my real name lolol. Sign: Sagittarius Last Google Search: Whether or not Bryan Adams speaks French. Don't ask me why, I'm a little too ashamed to admit it Song stuck in my head: Hearts Burst into Fire by Bullet For My Valentine. Listen y'all, I'm not a huge BFMV fan, but the guitarwork on this song slaps HARD and it makes me a little bonkers. Sleep: Usually 11:30 p.m. - 7:30 a.m. on the weekdays and whenever - whenever on the weekends, but it really depends on the time of year. I can only sleep in total darkness so if the sun rises early, I'm usually up the second it's up. Wearing: A pair of flannels and an Imagine Dragons concert t-shirt from 2014 (Smoke and Mirrors tour if you were curious). Favourite Song: God, that's such a loaded question because I genuinely have so many and I tend to categorize my love of music in two eras: 0-13 years old where I only listened to my dad's classic rock and 13-26 where I listen to my own shit. For now, I'm gonna offer Ventura Highway by America for the former and Unconsolable by X Ambassadors for the latter, if only as representatives for those two eras Favorite Instrument: Clarinet because it's what I played in middle school :D Aesthetic: Uhhhhhhhhh I don't really have an aesthetic but I guess if I had to pick one I'd go space/galaxies. I don't care if it's 2013's cringe deep purples and stars are cool y'all and I still kinda crave galaxy leggings. Favorite Authors: Professionally, I would say Tom Robbins, Stephan Graham Jones (who I'm reading currently!!!) and Fredrick Backman are pretty high rankers, but I have to also include the Erin Hunters with extreme reluctance for Warriors essentially pivoting my entire life, for better or worse. Fanfic-wise, y'all know I gotta give shoutouts to my peeps beammeupbroadway, heartofsnark, ruruie, emofthechoir, seraphfighter, and so many others for singlehandedly keeping me interested in the fandomside of CP2077, but I want to give shoutouts to my friends @holybatgirlz and @callmeguacamole, who write Bridgerton and Avatar: the Last Airbender respectively and are AMAZING and TALENTED and whose work makes me want to CHEW THROUGH THE FLOORBOARDS. Favorite Color: Sky blue and neon green Favorite animal sound: My roommate's dog whenever he makes a dumb "urp" sound. Every time he does it, my roommate and I will look at each other and just go "HE URPED???" back and forth until we lose our shit. Last Song: Carry On by CSNY Last Series: Since football and hockey seasons have picked up, I genuinely can't remember the last series I finished-- it might've been Seinfeld? But I'm currently watching The Last of Us, New Girl, and The Peripheral Random: Listen y'all I have been an ardent Daniel Jones defender since 2020 and I genuinely think the guy can do well in the league with the right build around him, but trying for a >$45 million a year contract??? Nah. Let the guy play another year out in this same system, let him get a feel for the ropes with a softer schedule and hopefully more weapons for him to throw to. I'm more than willing to sign him within the range of $35-$40 but at this rate if he and his agents are stubborn, I wouldn't be surprised if Schoen lets him walk. Idk. I don't think he deserved that fifth-year option but at the same time I acknowledge that a good chunk of the Giants offensive issues were not really his fault (looking at you, JASON). I just hope we can reach a reasonable deal, because he doesn't seem like an unreasonable guy

Too tired to tag so please feel free to fill out if you want!

[exrocist]

tag game: 3 books, 3 movies, and 3 songs

that changed your life or you just love.

Tagged by @zhabk4, thank youuu U__U <333 I don't usually do these (though it always makes me happy to get tagged!) but I was like. nnrrghhh must talk about Earthsea. soo.

(lots of rambling below the cut little bit embarrassed!!!!)

Books:

The Farthest Shore by Ursula K. Le Guin ; Nothing I say about this book (this series!) can do it justice honestly everyone on the Earth should read Earthsea. like really really read it patiently and intensely and with a savor because you will never encounter reality so closely and clearly ever again. everything about it is real to me but this book particularly struck me just because. well. lebannen. a force undeniable. I didn't know I was capable of loving so deeply and profoundly until I knew him. he is the best. I love you Lebannen 💥💥💥 I love everything about these books honestly. immense grace aside that shit also inspired perhaps the most intense and creatively demanding period of my life & broke down a lot of the mental partitions that I had constructed around what my hands are capable of. And I am still really bobbing through the wake of even now. Hopefully more marvelous things to come. There is much more strength to be drawn from this place yet if I can stomach it. sighs.

Death with Interruptions by José Saramago ; My words are failing me here but like. Saramago's voice and style have become real fixtures for me. I need to read a Saramago at least once every few months or my life loses its musicality. This is where I started with him so it gets to be on the list but Cain is also a great one for many many many more reasons that would be toooo much talking. for me to post.

I feel like by law I have to put Plato's Republic here which like. honestly not the most philosophically valuable work or even my drug of choice these days but was a thirteen year old's first inquest into the field that would become his only scholastic passion. so ! (He didn't even know he would have to read it seven times during his undergrad 😭) but if we want another novel to put here maybe We Need to Talk about Kevin by Lionel Shriver (mostly because of one sequence but also Shriver's great at writing in the voice of wry & cerebral women whose sentimentality is kind of shielded by their overt insight it gives them real internal lushness).

Honorable mention also to Isaac Asimov's I, Robot and subsequent novels of Asimov's future chronology which are currently fucking me up beyond measure. My recommendation here is read I, Robot (Or The Complete Robot!) and maaaybe Caves of Steel (tightly written marvel with only forgivable weaknesses of unprobed psychologies) and then stop. Just don't keep going okay. I've also had um Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal by Christopher Moore still swimming around in my mind despite having finished it a good while ago.

Movies:

Uhhh I don't w.atch. errr. Movies I can think of that I've watched just at all of my own volition: Raw (2016). good experience but didn't move me hugely taboo-pushing which is awesome conceptually but not in the right ways for me idk. not a bad movie at all though definitely some kind of stupid elements at play as well.

Uhhhhhhhhh.

?????????

Songs

Spent Gladiator 2 - The Mountain Goats ; I know I know I'm sorry I'm so trite and pedestrian but like. song with a non-negligible influence on me NOT killing myself <3

Wait List - All Get Out ; song with a non-negligible influence on me actively killisdukydhkuhldfhuik

I/m Not Here [missing face] - The Twilight Sad ; idk is this even a song I could live without. could I have the strength to do anything if not for this five minute dronefest. they need to start creating standardized ritual/ecstatic behaviors for the tracks off this album.

Honorable mentions: San Fermin's The Woods (if you were to ask me about artists they would most definitely be very much up there... Mr. Ludwig-Leone's artistry has been cradling me for a very long time), Say Yes to Everything by We Cut Corners (best band ever ever ever!!!), Topography by Civilian, Dump Your Dreams by A.S. Fanning (i love music).

I did badly at this but I think I made up for not having any movies by talking so much elsewhere. ermmm.

Only tagging @twilitfossil (Jesse Pinkman voice) do it bitchhhhhh also @ataliaf but only if you want to n__n <3333

[dontfeartherieper]

another life

pairing: Agent 47 x Self-Insert OC

content warnings: brief kidnapping, not really anything else

A/N:  Hello Hitman tags! How are y’all today? I’m new to posting around these parts, but have lurked for quite some time. I haven’t posted my writing in a very, very long time, but wanted to give it a try again! This is the first part in a longer fic about 47 and my self-insert, Tactus, and takes place during the Whittleton Creek mission of Hitman 2. Thank you for reading, fic is under the cut!

The smell of fresh baked cookies wafted its way to Tactus Ouliette's bathroom, and he paused in washing his face to take a good inhale. They were just about done cooling, he figured! He dried his face, then took the time to re-comb his mustache and goatee, not a hair out of place. His fingers lightly ran through his bangs, the rest of his strawberry blonde hair pulled back in a tight bun. Amber eyes looked himself over in the mirror and he decided to go change his shirt before taking the cookies over to Janus's house. He scampered up to his bedroom to search through his closet for something a bit more conservative, for the sake of the old man's sensibilities.

He briefly looked toward his old binder, still hanging in the closet where he'd left it. It had been a month since he'd last felt the need to wear it, this community had been more accepting than he expected for a small town in Vermont, but Janus was new territory. He hadn't spoken to the old man yet, so would it be better to put it on? Just in case?

Tactus thought it over, then pulled out a light blue button-down instead, turning away from the closet. No, he didn't need it, and besides – he was more comfortable this way.

When he returned to the kitchen to check the cookies, he was surprised to see his brother wasn't already helping himself to a few. After he'd gotten them all packaged up in some Tupperware he went to leave through the front door and found Montage sound asleep on the couch. Aha! He tiptoed over, looking down at his twin with a smile, and brushed some of his dyed purple hair out of the way of his nose. Let him nap for a while, he'd wake him when he came home.

Whittleton Creek was as vibrant as ever as Tactus walked down the steps of his porch. It seemed someone was having a barbecue down the street! Maybe he'd go check it out later? Integrating into the community had been rough at first, but the arrival of a pair of French twins had been the most excitement this neighborhood had seen in quite some time. Nevermind the fact that he and his brother had lived in America for almost twenty years now! Janus was the last neighbor he hadn't properly introduced himself to in the months since their arrival. Ironic, being that he was literally their next door neighbor. In truth, he saw befriending the old man as the last step to fully becoming part of the community.

A group of children ran past Tactus, nearly knocking him over on his way next door, but he managed to make it to the front door without dropping his precious baked goods. He barely even got a chance to knock before the door opened, a rather gruff-looking man answering. His eyes flickered past him briefly, seeing other men standing just beyond, and... did one of them have a gun? He was aware that Janus had caretakers coming and going quite often, and he'd seen someone that could have been family staying over sometimes, but a man with a gun?

“Hi, my name is Tactus, I'm your neighbor?” he said nervously, and the gruff man who'd answered the door noticed where he was looking. “I was just bringing over some cookies so I could introduce myself to Mr. Janus. Is... is everything okay?”

The man who'd opened the door looked him over, then looked behind him to make sure no one else was watching. Without a word, he grabbed the front of Tactus's shirt, yanking him inside and slamming the door behind him. Tactus was forced to the ground, the man holding his arm in a painful lock as another one came over to see what the commotion was.

“Who sent you?” the man asked, ignoring his cries of pain.

“I-I don't know what you're talking about!” Tactus replied, looking up in fear at the second man approaching. “I just live next door! Who are you people?! Where's Mr. Janus, he can tell you- I'm his neighbor!”

The second man shook his head. “You're so fuckin' jumpy, man,” he scolded his apparent coworker, “I know what happened to Cassidy has us all on edge, but... ah, whatever. Take him upstairs and throw him in a closet or something. We'll deal with it later.”

Tactus was hauled to his feet, his wrists zip-tied together, and practically dragged upstairs. Why was this happening? Who were these people around Janus? Nausea welled up in his stomach as he was tossed into a closet in a side room, plunged into darkness when the door closed and locked behind him. This had to be a bad dream or something, right?

While he still didn't know exactly what was going on, Tactus could at least hear some of the guards talking outside the door. Someone named Nolan Cassidy was evidently dead, and that had set them on high alert. Great. So because this random other guy died, they thought Tactus was bringing poison cookies to murder his neighbor with?! He got to his knees and leaned his head against the door with a deep frown, trying to listen for more information. Who was Mr. Janus, really? Why did he have such a heavily armed security detail around him? Maybe he would be reasonable and let Tactus go if he just told them all he was trying to do was be a friendly neighbor! That thought did nothing to calm the pounding of his heart in his chest, however.

Minutes ticked by, Tactus straining to hear anything more from the room. One of the guards had left, and he wasn't sure how many were still there. Then, suddenly, he heard a sound almost like someone choking – followed by a soft thud. What was going on out there?! He didn't have to wonder for long. The door to the closet was suddenly pulled open, causing him to fall face first into an extremely nice pair of black dress shoes.

The owner of the shoes looked... puzzled, to say the least. Tactus turned his gaze upward to see a bald man in a finely-tailored suit staring down at him with the most piercing blue eyes he'd ever seen. He was dragging the unconscious body of the remaining guard that had been watching over the closet door! Maybe this guy was here to save him?! Tactus was about to speak when the man hurriedly shoved him back in the closet, dragging the unconscious guard along with.

“Hey, wait a min-” he tried to say, but a gloved hand covered his mouth promptly, and the mystery man shut the closet door behind him. Tactus couldn't help a bit of an embarrassed flush with the way the guy was pinning him down and keeping his mouth covered, starting to struggle when he heard someone else enter the room. The mystery man put a finger to his own lips in a shushing motion.

After a tense few moments, the door to the room opened and closed again. Tactus let out a breath he didn't know he was holding when the mystery man pulled his hand away, looking down at him with a blank expression. “Who are you?” Tactus asked, “Are you with the police...?”

The man shook his head slowly. “No.” He didn't look like he was going to be all too forthcoming with information. Standing up, he turned to leave, and Tactus sat up in a panic.

“You can't just leave me here!” he said, holding up his bound wrists. “I didn't do anything, I just brought some damn cookies over and they suddenly threw me in here talking about being 'compromised' and-”

Again, his mouth was covered, the mystery man shushing him firmly. “Stay here. I'll come back.” With that, he left as quickly as he'd arrived, leaving Tactus alone with an unconscious guard and a whole lot of questions. He quietly shoved the guard as far back against the wall as he could out of discomfort being near him. At least it was a spacious closet...

It felt like ages passed until the mystery man returned. Tactus honestly thought he might have been forgotten, and when the door opened he let out a startled squeak. “Oh, it's you!” he chirped, getting onto his knees and looking up at the man in the suit. “A-Are you going to get me out of here, now?”

The man in the suit grabbed him by the wrists, pulling him to his feet. “Yes, but you have to follow my instructions exactly.” He pushed Tactus to the side, moving past him to the guard, and began removing his clothes.

“What are you doing?!”

“I need a disguise.”

Tactus watched in fascination as he exchanged his suit for the guard's clothes, even taking his gun and slinging it onto his back. When he was finished, he turned back to the frightened captive, and nodded toward the closet door. “I'll take you outside. Don't speak, just walk with me. You said... you're his neighbor?”

Nodding, he motioned in the direction of his home. “Yes. My house is the one to the right of this one.” He swallowed hard as the mystery man grabbed his shoulders to begin leading him out. Somehow no one seemed to question his identity, one man asking where he was taking the prisoner, but satisfied with the answer that Janus had ordered him disposed of. The thought alone made his blood run cold, and he stumbled over himself as he was taken outside into the garden. They exited through the back gate into the wetlands behind the house, and only then did the mystery man finally stop and cut the zip tie from his wrists. Tactus let out a sigh of relief, thanking him for his help.

The man simply nodded, and escorted him back to his home. “So... who are you?” Tactus asked, unlocking his back door. “That was pretty amazing, what you did... are you with the government or something?”

“Or something,” the man responded, glancing back toward Janus's house. He ushered Tactus inside when the door was open, closing and locking it behind them. “Your neighbor was not who you thought he was.”

Tactus huffed in frustration, rubbing the marks on his wrists. “Understatement of the century! But still... thank you for getting me out of there. I'd call the police, but they wouldn't believe me... and even if they did, they're useless.” He glanced toward the living room, hearing the tell-tale soft snoring of his twin brother. Still napping on the couch, right where he'd left him. “So what's your name, stranger?”

There was a tentative pause before he received a response. “Tobias.” The man looked out a window, seeing movement at Janus's house – and hearing yelling. “Your neighbor was a man with a lot of enemies... and they just found his corpse in his bathroom.” He pulled away from the window, looking back at Tactus with a frown. “Poisoning, it sounds like.”

“Wait- what?” Tactus's eyes widened, his face going pale. “Y-You can't be serious... p-poisoning? But-”

“You will be blamed for it,” Tobias continued, “Cookies, right? You escaped before the body was discovered. Someone is likely on their way over here now to eliminate you.”

Tactus felt like the room was spinning, holding his head with both hands. “S-Slow down, what are you talking about?! I didn't have anything to do with it-! Why would anyone want... you can't be serious!” He put a hand over his mouth, hearing his brother begin to stir in the living room. If anything were to happen to him... he'd never forgive himself. But this was all just a misunderstanding!

Tobias glanced at a family picture on the wall, then toward the living room. “There is no time to slow down. You and your brother are in danger.” He moved quickly to the front door, making sure that it was locked, then turned to see Tactus's twin sitting up on the couch.

Montage yawned, rubbing his eyes, only to jump suddenly when he saw the stranger in his home. “Merde! What's going on?! Who are you!”

Before Tactus could respond, Tobias pulled out a wallet, flashing them both an identification card neither of them recognized. “My name is Tobias Rieper, and I'm with the CIA.” He put the wallet away with a nod toward their neighbor's house. “Your neighbor, Janus, was a former KGB agent I'd been keeping tabs on, with suspected ties to a terrorist organization. Your brother has unfortunately been accused of murdering him with poison. I realize this is a lot to take in, but if you two want to remain alive, you must come with me.”

The twins were stunned into silence. Tactus's panic overwhelmed him, and he quickly ran to the bathroom to vomit, while Montage shakily got to his feet. “You're serious?” he asked, and the look on Tobias's face told him he was deathly serious. “F... Fuck... are we... are we going into witness protection, or s-something? How do I even know you're telling us the t-truth?”

“Right now, we need to get you away from here and safe. It's only a matter of time until they realize where your brother is and come looking for him.” He motioned to the stairs. “You can pack some essentials, but then we have to go. If you don't believe me, you're welcome to look out your back window.”

Montage swallowed hard, moving to the back window of their home and peering out through the blinds. His eyes widened as he saw what appeared to be men with guns in Janus's back yard, one of which was making his way toward their home. He quickly backed away, scrambling to collect his brother from the bathroom. “Tactus! Tactus, we have to go!” he called, putting his hands on his twin's shoulders. “Please, mon frère, we have to go! You can be sick later!”

After he'd had a moment to catch his breath, Tactus stood and followed his brother upstairs. They packed what few things they could into a duffel bag, then returned to Tobias, who was waiting for them in the living room.

“I'll take you to a hotel and call my superiors from there,” the agent said, “Walk with me and act natural. My car isn't far.”

The brothers nodded and followed him out their front door. Tactus locked it behind them, hoping it would be safe until they could get this all sorted out. Tobias took them down the street, where a sleek black car was parked discreetly on the side of the road. They both hesitated to climb inside, looking at each other nervously.

A voice from behind startled them suddenly. “Hey, where are you three going?” a man called, dressed quite similarly to the disguise Tobias was still wearing. “No one's supposed to leave, there's been an emergency.” When he didn't get a response from the three of them, he started getting irritated. “Did you hear me? And who are those two? What's going on here?!”

Tactus panicked, scrambling into the car and pulling Montage after him. Tobias wasted no time in getting in and slamming on the gas, and soon enough, they were tearing down the street. A loud popping noise startled the twins, and Tactus realized it had been the sound of a gunshot, the bullet hitting the car with a metallic clang. “Oh, god, he shot at us?!” Montage gasped out, looking out the rear window at the diminishing shape of the man who'd caught them. “He shot at us! Like- with a gun!”

“What else would you use to shoot at someone?!” Tactus snapped, then sank down in his seat, his hands over his face. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... I- I'm going to be sick again.”

Throughout it all, Tobias was supernaturally calm. He didn't speak unless spoken to, and even then, his answers were short and not very helpful. He'd been assigned to keep an eye on Janus, got wind of one of his body guards being murdered, and snuck into Janus's home after seeing a mysterious figure climbing in through a window. The twins were in no state to question it, still trying to recover from the shock of being shot at. Soon enough the car fell into complete silence as Tactus and Montage simply tried to process what had just happened.

By the time they finally stopped at a hotel, the sun was going down. Tobias told them to stay in the car while he made a call. When they were alone, Montage finally reached over to pull his brother into a tight hug.

“I'm so sorry!” he choked out, “You were in danger, and I- I had no idea! I was just asleep while you were trapped in that house, and...”

“Shh... it's okay.” Tactus hugged him in return, stroking his hair gently. “It's not your fault. I know you would have come looking for me if you were awake, and... then we both probably would have been in that closet, eh?”

Montage pulled back, sniffling and rubbing at his eyes. “Mhm... but... this Tobias guy... does this seem on the up and up to you?” he looked out the window with a frown, seeing him standing a few paces away and speaking on a cell phone. “It's weird, right? A CIA agent just happened to be keeping an eye on our neighbor the day he dies... and you said he knocked some guy out and stole his clothes? What kind of government suit does that?”

Tactus didn't have a good answer for that. He'd been just going along with everything because he felt he didn't have a choice – being faced with armed men coming to his house to potentially kill him would do that. But now that he had a moment of calm to think, it did strike him as strange. “He showed us his credentials, though,” he said, “M-Maybe we should ask to speak to his superior? I bet they'd be able to provide more information.”

It seemed he wouldn't even have to ask, Tobias returning to the car with his phone in hand. He sat down in the driver's seat again, holding the phone up, and a woman's voice came over the speaker.

“Hello. I apologize, but Agent Rieper did not tell me your names,” she began, sounding a little exasperated. “My name is Agent Burnside, and I am his commanding officer. He has informed me of the situation surrounding Janus and your suspicion in his murder – however, he assures me that you were indisposed at the time of Janus's death. Of course, that won't convince his associates of your innocence.”

Tactus looked relieved to hear from someone else, leaning forward a bit to speak into the phone. “His... associates? You mean those guys in the house with him?”

“Them, and some other, more powerful people that he was in partnership with,” Agent Burnside responded, “Men who operate outside the law. Who won't hesitate to track you down and kill you for what they think you did to Janus. You have unfortunately become the target of people who will spare no expense for revenge.” She paused to let him process that information, then continued. “Agent Rieper will watch over you for now. He is the most familiar with Janus's network of allies, and frankly our most qualified agent to take care of you. If he is with you, you will be safe.”

Montage didn't look convinced, slamming his hand down on the car door. “This is crazy! You expect us to just listen to you? You could be anyone!”

“But they really did try to kill us, frère!” Tactus whimpered, “These people are trying to help!”

Agent Burnside waited a moment, then interjected. “You are right to be suspicious. It is highly unusual, and difficult to believe. I assure you, however, Agent Rieper can verify our identities for you quite easily.” As she spoke, Tobias opened his wallet again, showing them both what appeared to be an official CIA badge. When they'd both had a chance to look, he put it away again. “I will contact you again once I have made arrangements for your transport to a safe location. Until then, I ask that you trust Agent Rieper, and cooperate with him and the local authorities.”

Tobias ended the call, then got out of the car again. He opened the door for Tactus while Montage got out on the other side, motioning toward the hotel. “I'll get us rooms,” he said quietly, “Please come with me. I'd rather not let you out of my sight... just in case.” The hotel was a fair bit more expensive than what Tactus had been expecting, and much to his and Montage's dismay, only one room was available, rather than two. At least it was a room with two beds, but the idea of spending the night with a stranger... their discomfort was obvious.

Regardless, they followed Tobias up to their room, and as soon as he could, Tactus flopped down on one of the beds. He stared up at the ceiling, having had so many anxiety-ridden thoughts that when he finally had the chance to slow down, his mind simply blanked. Montage sat down on the bed next to him, watching Tobias with distrust. “...I guess my bro and I can share a bed,” he said, “This is... really awkward, you know. We don't even know you.”

“I understand.” Tobias sat in a chair in the room's breakfast nook, looking down at his watch. “I would offer to sleep in my car, but that puts me too far away from you in case of emergency.”

Montage's frown deepened. “Do you think they might have followed us or something...?” Tobias simply nodded. “Well... if anything happens, I guess it's better to have you here.”

Tactus pushed himself up, then headed for the room's bathroom. “I'm tired,” he said softly, letting his hair out of its bun. “I'm going to get ready for bed...” He paused in the doorway, looking back at Tobias. “And... thank you again for saving me, Tob... er, Agent Rieper.”

The agent nodded, his expression as blank as ever. “You're welcome.”

[angelslant]

fellas is it gay 2 be in love w ur best friend

[revenge-of-the-shit]

AO3 Tag Game

How many works do you have on AO3? 10!

What’s your total AO3 word count? 214,764

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Technically 2 because I wrote fanfic for the Hunger Games when I was 12 and published it on a site that has long since died and literally been taken down At the moment, my AO3 is all Star Wars!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Disconnected Conduit

Broken Beads

Gold and Silver

Cold Fire

Finishing Promises

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to! But I'm so bad at replying and sometimes I get overwhelmed and just read it and end up never replying oop

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

//Probably// Cold Fire? I think Echoes of Zyggeria gives it a run for its money in terms of angst but that one ends with a slightly more hopeful ending

Do you write crossovers? Nope.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not hate about the writing, but I did indeed get an Islamophobic comment once that tried to dismiss and insult my muslim mutuals/friends...

Do you write smut? If so what kind? Nope.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yup. Someone stole Fractured Twists word for word, put it on their wattpad, and was replying to comments as if they had so much fun writing the whole thing, and when I called them out on it they deleted it.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope!

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Not Star Wars related but probably Hiccstrid from HTTYD?

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I've got an idea for a political intrigue/grimdark fic that centers around a ROTS where Empress Amidala rises to power unwillingly and goes through a corruption arc. As the Bendu says - even the desire to do good can lead to great evil. I wanted to address issues such as her privilege as a former Queen and Senator on a wealthy planet, the privilege that Obi and Ani hold as Jedi and as humans, and how this could lead to them talking over those who don't hold the same thing.... it'd end up being a commentary on power and politics and privilege, but I don't think I have the time/effort to ever truly pull it off right.

What are your writing strengths?

I //think// dialogue? And imagery+phrasing?

What are your writing weaknesses?

Probably pacing, and sometimes losing track of details.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? Uhhhhhhhhh

What was the first fandom you wrote for? The Hunger Games!

What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

Honestly, an unpublished one (that's coming out soon in the Hope zine!) - it's a piece that centers around Baze and Chirrut and I wove a fuck ton of Chinese culture into that one, and it came out pretty solid, I think.

Tagging: @lightasthesun @katierosefun @nibeul @puirell

[s1utspeare]

Writing Tag Game

Once again, @hils79 is coming through and giving me reasons to live every day. I love u hilsy :')

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

18 lol

2. What is your total AO3 word count?

209,037

3. Top five fics by kudos

A Swiftly Tilting Planet - 228

i wish that you would love me - 133

cause it's easier to bury my head in the sand sometimes - 131

the play's the thing - 114

falling backwards, falling backwards - 103

4. Do you respond to comments, and why?

I like to!! Partially because I love talking about my work with people, and I love seeing what they've gotten out of it, and partially because i'm always so excited when people comment so it's like "!!!!!!!!"

5. What’s the fic you have written with the angstiest ending?

uhhhhh wow idk. ummmm the first fic i ever published, way back in like, 2012, was a Major Character Death ending... Precursor in the Trollhunters fandom is fairly bittersweet... idk most people like angst with a happy ending (including me) so I try not to end things on a down note. There's enough of that in the world. for recent fics, I guess falling backwards, falling backwards OH WAIT SHIT i completely forgot about can't be bothered by the teachers. nevermind, THAT one is the angstiest

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

the play's the thing! that one was just very cute and very fluffy so of course it had a happy ending ^.^

7. Do you write crossovers, if so what’s the craziest one you have done?

I've only ever done crossovers as crack fic, but i was.............. uh definitely very weird in middle school so there's some out there.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not really lol. There were a couple of critiques on some things back on ff.net, but they weren't even really hate, just things that I was like >:/ about bc i was like. twelve.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I didn't, and I never thought I would, but then I started writing smut for like, my professional job, and idk I just think it's really interesting??? it's something i haven't ever really tried so when I'm looking for a way to stretch my writing muscles and experiment I do some smut lol. I'm actually really proud of my chen pi/er-ye/yatou smut and i'm not entirely sure why??? probably just bc I wrote it which means i'm growing as a writer asighafjalfjg. who would've thought.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope! I'm not sure if that's bc I've never been in a big-enough fandom, or if everyone I've ever come across is just really nice! My style is also pretty distinctive, so that could be a turn away from stealing lol

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't think so! That would be so cool though!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Back on ffnet, yeah. They were all very 2012. And bad.

13. All time favorite ship!

I DON'T KNOOOOWWWWWW like my favorite ship (Wangxian) i haven't written yet, but my favorite ship to write has probably been Iron Threesome (have i even actually written them???? outside of pingpangsangxie?? i can't remember. Anyway).

14.What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you will?

I have no idea? Like, I have every intention of finishing every WIP I have started rn... if it's not something I'm completely into, I just don't start it lmao. I want them all to be DONE but i don't have TIME lol. Uhhhh there's a dmbj kpop au that i have outlined but probably won't ever write bc there's a lot more plot than I think I have the patience to put into a piece that's essentially just "zhang rishan angst modern au"

15. What are your writing strengths?

Uhhhhhhhhh language use, probably. @xcziel said something recently about how my writing reads like it's lined in gold (and I nearly cried about it), and I definitely write as though things are going to be read aloud, so I like to pay attention to how rhythm and sounds and sentences flow. Also DIALOGGGUUUEEE see this is all because i'm a playwright alsidghasdfkjas

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

i go too fast :/ i feel like if i took some more time on things i could really up the quality of some of it but i get too excited and just want to get it OUT so i end up making tiny mistakes and then have to do more work correcting them, but if i had just been slightly more patient I could have avoided it in the first place lol

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I think that you should stick to languages you're fluent in, unless you have a professional translator. I also don't believe in making words in other (real) languages italicized, because that sort of emphasizes the "otherness" of a different language, and that's not a good thing. THAT BEING SAID i fucking love making up languages; I don't have any fully developed ones, but all of my fantasy worlds usually have made-up swear words lmao

18. First fandom you wrote for?

Percy Jackson adsighasdljalsdfjad. That was a while ago.

19. Fave fic you have written?

OOOoohhhhh, shit. Uh. I don't know if I have favorites, I just have things that I'm proud of for like, each fic? Like I really like At the Beginning of the End of the World because that one was written in second person, which was a fun challenge, as well as for a fandom that I'm not in (Deltarune) because it was a charity commission request, so I had to do a lot of research and stuff to figure out what was going on there. A Swiftly Tilting Planet is super fun and super interesting to me, and I'm really excited for the rest of the trilogy that I have planned, but there's also a LOT of stuff I kind of wish I could change about that one (mainly because I've read it over like 78 times and found all the small mistakes lmao). I'm also super proud of i wish that you would love me because i think I really doubled-down on the language strengths in that one, and the amount of people that fic resonated with is very important to me, because I'm one of them. So there's a lot of different things that I like about each fic I've written, and I like them all!

THIS WAS SO FUN THANK YOU HILSY i'm gonna tag @daydreamorama, @mejomonster, @jockvillagersonly, @bookjoyworm, and @pissmeoffanddie, as well as anyone who would like to TAG STEAL >:)

[butterflies-dragons]

Hey love your metas! I want to ask about Sansa dealing with her sexual assaults and trauma. The way she mismemorised the traumatic events, do you think she gonna misremember any other similar traumatic events in future? Do you think her family will help her remember these events n dealing with it?

Hello Anon,

Thank you ♡

I recently wrote about Sansa dealing with trauma, particularly sexual assault trauma. 

Here is the post for anyone interested. 

And here is another one.  

Almost every meta, essay, analysis, etc, about the so-called “un-kiss”, has been written from a sexual perspective.  For the majority of this fandom, either shippers or not, Sansa remembering a kiss instead of the sexual assault she suffered and later having nightmares with her assaulter being in bed with her, CLEARLY means that she is having sexual fantasies with her assaulter, that she is expressing her dark, repressed, hidden, deepest desires about her assaulter, that all this is part of her sexual awakening.  

But every time GRRM has been asked about the subject, either from a sexual perspective or not, he consistently tagged Sansa misremembering things and events as “unreliable narrator.” Lets see.

In chronological order:

JUNE 26, 2001

SF, TARGARYENS, VALYRIA, SANSA, MARTELLS, AND MORE

[GRRM is asked about Sansa misremembering the name of Joffrey’s sword.]

The Lion’s Paw / Lion’s Tooth business, on the other hand, is intentional. A small touch of the unreliable narrator. I was trying to establish that the memories of my viewpoint characters are not infallible. Sansa is simply remembering it wrong. A very minor thing (you are the only one to catch it to date), but it was meant to set the stage for a much more important lapse in memory. You will see, in A STORM OF SWORDS and later volumes, that Sansa remembers the Hound kissing her the night he came to her bedroom… but if you look at the scene, he never does. That will eventually mean something, but just now it’s a subtle touch, something most of the readers may not even pick up on.

[Source]

It is very curious that the person who misremembered Joffrey’s sword name wasn’t Sansa, it was Arya:

The big man shrugged. "I was Joffrey's sworn shield. The butcher's boy attacked a prince of the blood."

"That's a lie!" Arya squirmed in Harwin's grip. "It was me. I hit Joffrey and threw Lion's Paw in the river. Mycah just ran away, like I told him."

—A Storm of Swords - Arya VI

But despite the unreliable narrator’s identity confusion, what I understand from George’s answer is that misremembering a minor detail like Joff’s sword name “it was meant to set the stage for a much more important lapse in memory,” like the “un-kiss” for example, that George mentioned next. 

At the same time, the “un-kiss” will eventually mean something, but just now it’s a subtle touch, something most of the readers may not even pick up on.

Take note that George’s answer is from 2001, after ASOS was published, so by that time he already knew about the existence of the shippers that want Sansa with the Hound being together in a romantic/sexual relationship. You can check this fact by reading the questions and answers from 1999 compiled in this post.  But he still mentioned that the meaning of the “un-kiss” was “a subtle touch, something most of the readers may not even pick up on.” 

So much for the so-called “evident”, “canon”, “endgame“ ship and ASOS being “their ship’s book”  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  

* * *

OCTOBER 05, 2002

SANSA’S MEMORY

[Note: This mail has been edited for brevity.]

… this is an inconsistency with ASoS more than an outright error. In ASoS, Sansa thinks that the Hound kissed her before leaving her room and King’s Landing. In ACoK, no kiss is mentioned in the scene, though Sansa did think that he was about to do so.

Well, not every inconsistency is a mistake, actually. Some are quite intentional. File this one under “unreliable narrator” and feel free to ponder its meaning...

[Source]

Here George’s answer is more succinct: the “un-kiss” is not a mistake, it was intentional, file this one under “unreliable narrator.”

* * *

NOVEMBER 27, 2007

GEORGE R.R. MARTIN ANSWERS YOUR QUESTIONS

Here’s a really particular question (which I realize means it probably won’t get asked in a general interview): In A Storm of Swords, there is a chapter early on where Sansa is thinking back to the scene at the end of A Clash of Kings when The Hound came into her room during the battle. She thinks in the chapter about how he kissed her, but in the scene in A Clash of Kings, this actually didn’t happen. Was that a typo or something? —Valdora

GRRM: It’s not a typo. It is something! [Laughs] ”Unreliable narrator” is the key phrase there. The second scene is from Sansa’s thoughts. And what does that reveal about her psychologically? I try to be subtle about these things.

[Source]

Here George gave us little clues:

[The un-kiss] is from Sansa’s thoughts [an internal thought for herself, she is not telling anyone that the Hound kissed her]

What does that reveal about her psychologically? 

I try to be subtle about these things

Also take note how GRRM repeatedly highlights the word “subtle” regarding the “un-kiss”:

but just now it’s a subtle touch (After ASOS but before AFFC)

I try to be subtle about these things (Shortly after AFFC)

This is a stark contrast with the majority of this fandom, either shippers or not, that interpret and believe that Sansa remembering a kiss instead of the sexual assault she suffered and later having nightmares with her assaulter being in bed with her, CLEARLY has to do with her sexual awakening, that the “un-kiss” means that she is having sexual fantasies with her assaulter, that she is expressing her dark, repressed, hidden, deepest desires about her assaulter.  

And I wonder, since Sansa has similar dreams with Ilyn Payne and often feels naked around him:

As the headsman looked at her, his pale colorless eyes seemed to strip the clothes away from her, and then the skin, leaving her soul naked before him. Still silent, he turned and walked away.

—A Game of Thrones - Sansa I

She dreamt of footsteps on the tower stair, an ominous scraping of leather on stone as a man climbed slowly toward her bedchamber, step by step. All she could do was huddle behind her door and listen, trembling, as he came closer and closer. It was Ser Ilyn Payne, she knew, coming for her with Ice in his hand, coming to take her head. There was no place to run, no place to hide, no way to bar the door. Finally the footsteps stopped and she knew he was just outside, standing there silent with his dead eyes and his long pocked face. That was when she realized she was naked. She crouched down, trying to cover herself with her hands, as her door began to swing open, creaking, the point of the greatsword poking through …

She woke murmuring, “Please, please, I’ll be good, I’ll be good, please don’t,” but there was no one to hear.

—A Game of Thrones - Sansa VI

Once she dreamed it was still her marrying Joff, not Margaery, and on their wedding night he turned into the headsman Ilyn Payne. 

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa II

Does this mean that Sansa is having sexual fantasies with her father’s executioner as well? Does this mean that Sansa has dark, repressed, hidden, deepest desires about Ilyn Payne too?

I think that the “un-kiss” has to do with Sansa’s internal thoughts, how her mind works, how her mind deals with unpleasant/disturbing events. So in order to decipher its meaning we must ask ourselves about Sansa’s psychology, she is a deeply traumatized child by many events: Her direwolf’s death, her father’s death, the disillusionment of her Prince and the Queen as high moral figures, the disillusionment of the knights as fair heroes, the psychological, physical and sexual abuse she has suffered so far.  The “un-kiss” is a subtlety from the author, this can’t be as easy as “Sansa has the hots for the Hound”. 

Sansa: All she wanted was for things to be nice and pretty, the way they were in the songs. —A Game of Thrones - Sansa I

Sansa: Almost raped by the Hound during the night of the Blackwater Battle, he invaded her bedroom, pushed her to bed, put a dagger at her throat, requested a song from her under threat of death.  

There is a song called “Off to Gulltown” that says:

Off to Gulltown to see the fair maid, heigh-ho, heigh-ho. I’ll steal a sweet kiss with the point of my blade, heigh-ho, heigh-ho. I’ll make her my love and we’ll rest in the shade, heigh-ho, heigh-ho.

Sansa: The Hound kissed me during the night of the Blackwater Battle.

Fandom/Shippers: Sansa fancies the Hound uhhhhhhhhh

Sansa: Has unpleasant memories of the “un-kiss” feeling soiled by it. 

Sansa: Has a nightmare about Tyrion and the Hound in bed with her the night after Marillion attempted to rape her.

Fandom/Shippers: Sansa fancies the Hound and have fun dreams with him uhhhhhhhhhh

It's really all that easy?

George hates to be predictable:

I spoke earlier about how predictable stories bore me. And we’ve all, you know, seen the stories where the hero, you know, he seems to get in trouble—he’s all alone, he’s surrounded by twenty foes, but he’s the hero! You know he’s going to get out of it; you’re not really engaged. I want you to be engaged. I want you to feel what the viewpoint character is feeling. If the viewpoint character is in trouble, I want you to be afraid, I want you not to know whether he’s going to get out of it. And I think the only way to do that is establish very early in the books that you’re playing for real, that anyone can die, and if the character’s in a life or death situation that he might not survive it. That these are not superheroes, these are not Indiana Jones. These are fallible human beings who are vulnerable to death and betrayal and all that. To my mind, that makes the stories much more suspenseful and gripping and emotionally involving.

(...)

I also liked the idea of the story not being predictable. Too much of fantasy is too predictable, you know? They say we write the stories that we want to read. And I was a reader long before I was a writer, and as a reader I love stories that take me to places that I don’t expect, and I hate stories where you read the first five pages and you know exactly what’s going to happen for the rest of the book. Those stories bore me very quickly, and I don’t want to bore my readers or indeed bore myself in writing, so I try to, you know, create a fairly complicated thing that’s full of twists and surprises and unexpected turns, but all of them rooted hopefully in human nature and arising out of the characters and the desires and wishes and dreams of those characters.

—A Dance With Dragons: George R. R. Martin

And he is always distracting us:

There are some mysteries in these books. There are some things that I’m gonna reveal later on that I’m planting clues for. There are some later plot twists that I’m foreshadowing. There are things that are gonna happen in Book 5 and Book 6 and Book 7 where I’ve planted a seed for it in Book 1. But I don’t necessarily want to give away my hand. So, what do I do when I plant the seed? Well, I plant the seed, but I try to do a little literary sleight of hand, and while I’m planting the seed, my other hand is up there waving and is distracting you with some flashy bit of wordplay or something that’s going on in the foreground, while the seed is being planted in the background. So hopefully the seed is there, the foreshadowing is there, but maybe you won’t notice it, because it’s surrounded by so many other things.

—The George R. R. Martin Podcast, Episode 7 (9:17)  

Transcription provided by this post.

Think about it!    

* * *

DECEMBER 2016 ASKING GEORGE R.R. MARTIN ABOUT SAN/SAN

My question is regarding Sansa Stark. Her sexuality has evolved through every book and yet the memory that seems to stick the more with her in this regard is the night of the Blackwater. So I was wondering if you can expand on your view on what this is, since as before that night her interactions with Sandor Clegane weren’t really physical.

The night of the Blackwater, yes. Ahhh… Well, I’m not going to give you a straight answer on that hahaha… Uhmmm, but I would say that ahhh… you know a television show and a book each has its own strengths and weaknesses; there a re tools that are available to me as a novelist, that are not available to people doing a television show. And of course there are tools available to them, that are not available to a novelist, I mean they can lay in a soundtrack, they can do special effects, they can do amazing things that I can’t do, I just have words on paper. What can I do, well I can use things like the internal narrative, I can take you inside of territories… thoughts, which you can’t do in a TV show… Ahhh… You just have the words they speak, you see them from outside because the camera is external, while prose is internal, and I have the device known as “unreliable narrator”… Ahhh… Which again, they don’t have. So, think about those two aspects when you consider that night of the Blackwater.

[Source]

Here George was asked directly, by a shipper, about the “un-kiss” and Sansa’s sexuality, and he stuck with his classic “unreliable narrator” answer.

George also repeated these things:

I can use things like the internal narrative

I can take you inside of territories… thoughts

Prose is internal

I have the device known as “unreliable narrator

His comparison between a TV Show and a Book is very telling: 

You just have the words they speak, you see them from outside because the camera is external, while prose is internal.

Also, it seems that he is done with questions about Sansa’s sexuality, as you can see from the chronology of questions and answers in this post. 

So, the “un-kiss” and any other misremembering from Sansa has to do with her psychological state, not with her sexuality in particular.

Sansa did something similar with the Trident incident, where her direwolf Lady, part of her soul, was killed by her own father using his sword Ice. 

She remembered the facts exactly as they happened when she told her father about it. But later she started to blame Arya and Cersei, but exculpates Joffrey, her future husband:  

Sansa and Septa Mordane were given places of high honor, to the left of the raised dais where the king himself sat beside his queen. When Prince Joffrey seated himself to her right, she felt her throat tighten. He had not spoken a word to her since the awful thing had happened, and she had not dared to speak to him. At first she thought she hated him for what they'd done to Lady, but after Sansa had wept her eyes dry, she told herself that it had not been Joffrey's doing, not truly. The queen had done it; she was the one to hate, her and Arya. Nothing bad would have happened except for Arya.

—A Game of Thrones - Sansa II

She accommodates and compartmentalize a lot as a way to cope and survive every unpleasant, disturbing and traumatic event that already happened to her in her short 13 years.  

So to answer your specific questions:

Do you think she gonna misremember any other similar traumatic events in future?

I think so. This is sad because it means that Sansa will experience even more  traumatic events that she will have to deal with... 

We need to wait to know the “un-kiss” true meaning. She romanticizes the Hound’s rape attempt against her and made it into a kiss, just like a song called “Off to Gulltown” that describes a non-con/sexual abuse situation against a maid, like her.

Inside her mind Sansa decided to remember the good things that men like Tyrion and the Hound did for her.  In her first AFFC chapter (Sansa I), she thinks:    

When Joff had her beaten, the Imp defended her. 

When the mob sought to rape her, the Hound carried her to safety. 

When the Lannisters wed her to Tyrion against her will, Ser Garlan the Gallant gave her comfort.

Only in her nightmares the true slipped out:

And she dreamed of her wedding night too, of Tyrion's eyes devouring her as she undressed. Only then he was bigger than Tyrion had any right to be, and when he climbed into the bed his face was scarred only on one side. "I'll have a song from you," he rasped, and Sansa woke and found the old blind dog beside her once again. "I wish that you were Lady," she said. 

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa VI

But after Marillion’s attack, Littlefinger forced kiss and Lysas’s death she is starting to join the dots.  For an instance, when she hears Littlerfinger using the same sexual innuendo than Marillion, “Let me warm you”, she realizes that Petyr Baelish is bad news:

Let me warm you, Sansa. Take off those gloves, give me your hands."

"I won't." He sounded almost like Marillion, the night he'd gotten so drunk at the wedding. Only this time Lothor Brune would not appear to save her; Ser Lothor was Petyr's man. "You shouldn't kiss me. I might have been your own daughter . . ."

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa VII

The whole passage from her first AFFC chapter (Sansa I) is very revealing: 

The things her aunt had said just before she fell still troubled Sansa greatly. "Ravings," Petyr called them. "My wife was mad, you saw that for yourself." And so she had. All I did was build a snow castle, and she meant to push me out the Moon Door. Petyr saved me. He loved my mother well, and . . .

And her? How could she doubt it? He had saved her.

He saved Alayne, his daughter, a voice within her whispered. But she was Sansa too . . . and sometimes it seemed to her that the Lord Protector was two people as well. He was Petyr, her protector, warm and funny and gentle . . . but he was also Littlefinger, the lord she'd known at King's Landing, smiling slyly and stroking his beard as he whispered in Queen Cersei's ear. And Littlefinger was no friend of hers. When Joff had her beaten, the Imp defended her, not Littlefinger. When the mob sought to rape her, the Hound carried her to safety, not Littlefinger. When the Lannisters wed her to Tyrion against her will, Ser Garlan the Gallant gave her comfort, not Littlefinger. Littlefinger never lifted so much as his little finger for her.

Except to get me out. He did that for me. I thought it was Ser Dontos, my poor old drunken Florian, but it was Petyr all the while. Littlefinger was only a mask he had to wear. Only sometimes Sansa found it hard to tell where the man ended and the mask began. Littlefinger and Lord Petyr looked so very much alike. She would have fled them both, perhaps, but there was nowhere for her to go. Winterfell was burned and desolate, Bran and Rickon dead and cold. Robb had been betrayed and murdered at the Twins, along with their lady mother. Tyrion had been put to death for killing Joffrey, and if she ever returned to King's Landing the queen would have her head as well. The aunt she'd hoped would keep her safe had tried to murder her instead. Her uncle Edmure was a captive of the Freys, while her great-uncle the Blackfish was under siege at Riverrun. I have no place but here, Sansa thought miserably, and no true friend but Petyr.

—A Feast for Crows - Sansa I

As you can see Sansa is starting to realize that the persons that help her, can also hurt her and have ulterior motives to help her, that the help is not unconditional and always has a price.  

So I think she will reach a point where she would be able to do the same with all her abusers, she will realize that men like Tyrion, the Hound, Dontos, etc, have helped her but at the same time have hurt her, Tyrion accepted to marry her and almost commit marital rape, the Hound attempted to rape her and repeatedly abuse her psychologically and physically, even Dontos, always requesting kisses.  

Do you think her family will help her remember these events and dealing with it?

Most probably. Meeting Jeyne Poole again, for example. Knowing what Littlefinger really did to her, and all his crimes against House Stark.

I really hope for that moment of realization, when she can stop lying to herself, when she can clearly see all those men as her abusers and that she owns them nothing. 

George, please! She had enough already... Give her some peace and quite! Give her true friends and her family back! 

Thanks for your message.

[marriedzukka]

tagged by @chitsangenthusiast to do this fic writer ask thingie (thank you kath my beloved<3)

name: dani

fandoms: mostly atla, a little bit of sk8

two-shots?: i don't have any at the moment

most popular multichapter: Real Enough to Get Me Through is technically the only one I've written for atla so far but it's also my most popular fic in general, so I think it still counts :)

actual worst part of writing: those frustrating periods of time when the words just...won't come. There are times when the writing flows (amazing feeling) and times when it feels like I've never written anything good and will never be able to form a sentence again lmao. ALSO just in general, second drafts are hard. like getting the words to actually flow the way you want can be a frustrating process

how you choose your titles: almost always from a song lyric or line from a poem. every once in a while I'll have an original thought for one though, but I have yet to use any of them :/ I have a whole separate google doc of potential fic titles that I add to whenever I think of something

do you outline: yes and poorly lol. you should see my google drive folders for my writing, it's a wonder I'm able to get anything done at all. it's a mess in there

ideas I probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice?: I'd love to write a -sokka goes out on his own after the war and zuko doesnt become firelord and they accidentally meet up on their travels and then fall in love- au but I just don't have the time at the moment. maybe some day.

callouts @ me: just calm down. take a break when it's not clicking and eventually everything works out. it always does, but you forget this literally every single time...

spicy tangential opinion: uhhhhhhhhh if you're able to, you should always leave comments on works you like. you don't have to give crazy detailed thoughts or anything but nice comments are REALLY effective at motivating writers to keep going, more so than a kudos. it's always nice to hear what parts are resonating with people though, so if something really struck you in a story, even if its just a small moment, tell the author! it makes their day, i promise you

best writing traits: ?? I hate answering questions like this LOL not even trying to be like..humble or whatever. I genuinely don't know. I like my dialogue a lot, and I think I'm pretty good at finding each character's voice? I like the way I incorporate senses to set a scene. The ~flow of my writing has gotten better over time too, so I'm proud of that. Other than that you guys will have to tell me if there's something specific lol

uhhhhhh ill tag @verdanthoney @terracyte and @zukkaclawthorne if you want to :) no pressure

[vagarius]

misukazu 21

(if you saw me fuck up the other one no you didnt)

EDIT I THINK THIS ONE GOT A LITTLE FUCKED UP TOO BUT IT’S... READABLE...

questions from this post, and answers originally written for this thread!!

If you had to change the pairing’s very first meeting, how would you change it?    their canon first meeting is already so good SHDGFLJASHG but if i had to choose a different one that's still within the context of mankai... meeting as kids and losing touch and coming back together completely different at mankai

What song fits your pairing the most?    uhhHHhhHHH i don't have a real answer but i do have a partial playlist for one of my misukazu aus and the only two songs in it are furaregai girl by sayuri and champagne's for celebrating by mayday parade and i feel like that says enough sldhgalsdhfalsh

What is your favorite AU/prompt idea/trope for your pairing?     ALL MISUKAZU AUS ARE GOOD but. i really love any au where their first meeting is in the future and both are still kind of lost but they're Older and it's hard to let themselves fall into the easy trust they find in canon. i just think that'd be neat.

Do you prefer canon ideas or do you have your own headcanons for them?     I'VE SAID THIS MANY TIMES BUT CANON MISUKAZU GIVES OFF MADE FOR EACH OTHER VIBES AND USUALLY I DON'T VIBE WITH THAT BUT THEY REALLY ARE WHAT THE OTHER NEEDS... AND I THINK EVEN IF THEY HAD TO PART THEY'D STILL BE ABLE TO BE BETTER PEOPLE BC THEY HAD MET

Favorite canon moment of them?     THERE ARE SO MANY but the one that immediately comes to mind is misumi carrying drunk kazu to bed (latest bday line) because drunk kazu is so soft and it implies that misumi wanted to wish happy birthday to kazu pretty late... what did he want to give him...

Least favorite canon moment of them?     hmm... there's not really one i can think of??? IM SORRY I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY I LOVE ALL THEIR CANON MOMENTS

Favorite headcanon trope/idea? (Your own or someone else’s)    this is somehow both vague and very specific but i think misukazu gives off this vibe: He's beautiful. I can't tell him. or "Kazu is always beautiful~" Don't call me that, Kazu thinks. I'm not. so... insecurities i guess ????? AJSHAJJD

Favorite aspect of them/their relationship dynamics?     THIS IS GOING TO SOUND SO CHEESY but i love how /real/ they allow themselves to be around each other. misukazu at their best is when one thinks "you're you. and i love that you" and the other knows this. i just. THEY VALIDATE THE OTHER SO MUCH CRIES

Least favorite aspect of them/their relationship dynamics? (Can be headcannon)     this isn't a "least fav" so much as "it makes me sad" but if either of them showed any sign of not being interested anymore the other is more likely to give up then push anything. sort of like "it was bound to happen, so i'll enjoy now until they drop me" or EVEN WORSE they think the other would be better off without them and pushes them away. so yeah the fact i can see one of these happening makes me sad.

If they aren’t a canon pairing, how would you get them together?     they give off "everyone knows we're dating but us" energy but at the same time i feel like they'd acknowledge there's something and just not define it bc a) they don't need to (misumi) or b) they're too nervous to (kazu). in other words i think one day they are holding hands and misumi says "kazu? is this dating?" and kazu holds his breath before asking "do you want it to be?"

If you had to take them and plunk them into another fandom, what fandom would that be? Why?     i think theyd be hilarious in any sports animanga (kazu is manager tho bc noodle arms but maybe they bond when misumi walks him through some of his usual training menu one night - ahem. anyway) BUT ALSO horimiya au...

How hard is it write/draw your pairing? Scale of 1-10.     AJDHAJDHSF I REALLY LOVE THEM SO IT COMES PRETTY EASILY... but sometimes you try to put them in tropes and realize they would Just Not Work Like That. idk where i'm going with this. but yeah. anyway 3 for sankaku.

Is there a pairing that you think rivals them?     in terms of what i ship, i tend to ship kazu and misumi individually with a lot of dif charas AJDHAKD. but in terms of like... in-universe "rival" pairings: kazu side: tsuzukazu (maybe, lbr it would take them 273924 yrs to actually get together), kazu x someone from winter (i... have my reasons but they'd take longer than what this answer entails) misumi side: ... surprisingly none that i can think of ahdjahd

Which character of the pairing do you like more? (Would you ever pair yourself with them?)     you know that tweet that's like "sometimes a ship is just your two favs"? yeah that's misukazu for me. but if i had to choose... misumi AJDHAJHDSF I HONESTLY WASNT THAT INTO YUME UNTIL THESE TWO CAME AROUND (NOT COUNTING 707)... but yeah if they wanted to hold me in their arms i wouldn't oppose

Which character of your pairing would be the one to break up with the other? Why?     OOOOOH BOY well. i think it could be either of them. i don't think they'd break up for lack of love but too much love and wanting the other to be happy and thinking that the only way to give them that is to let them go. so i guess the question is which of them would be more likely to be selfish and hold on. thinking this way, i think misumi would be more likely to break-up, bc kazu has lots of friends who are better than him!! and misumi is more ready to leave if he thinks he needs to than kazu is. now im sad.

Are they relatable as characters or as a pairing?     THE NUMBER OF TIMES I'VE BEEN CALLED KAZU KIN... in all seriousness kazu's struggles with speaking out and (shinobi spoilers) his uncertainty over his future hit real close to home... while i don't relate as much as misumi, his struggles always manage to tear my heart into pieces... ((oversharing alert) i guess what really separates me from misumi is his struggle with his desire to connect with family who has treated him poorly... whereas im more "lol fuck you") tldr i relate to kazu slightly more LOL

Did you once/ever dislike one/both of them?     i never disliked them but i was NOT expecting either of them to shoot up so quickly into my favs list ahdjahdjf. also i started shipping them Immediately After reading summer main story so there's that

On an estimate, how many posts have you made about them?    as of september 28th 2020 i make up 11/78 fics on ao3 in the romantic misukazu tag and 2/12 in the platonic one. i may have brainrot.

What made you decide to ship them?     TBH I FINISHED THE MAIN STORY AND WENT "OH MY GOD... THAT'S MY SHIP" but now that i'm here i continue to ship them because they have the potential to bring out both the best and the worst in each other and i'm all about that

Favorite genre for them? (Angst, fluff, etc.)     angst. i just. angst hurt/comfort all the way. im so sorry babies.

lol you thought there would just be 21 ANYWAY EXTRA 1: how do they spend breaks/vacation?    they'd travel a lot when they're older!! kazunari loves to travel and misumi would follow kazunari anywhere (also, new triangles!!) so they go somewhere new whenever they have the time. however i think eventually one or both of their future careers will take them anywhere and everywhere anyway, so their "ideal vacation" might turn into an evening in, cuddling and catching up (as if they didn't already send play-by-play updates over the phone of whatever they did during the day)

EXTRA 2: first date?     i don't they ever have an explicit first date, but if asked they'll cite the time they had a picnic in the park turned triangle hunt turned accidental dip in the duck pond. at least, kazunari will. misumi just tilts his head and wonders what you mean.

EXTRA 3: gifts?     IM FEELING REALLY CHEESY SO I'M MAKING THIS ABOUT ANNIVERSARY GIFTS they both end up getting each other jewelry (although kazu was really really nervous bc he wasn't sure if misumi would wear it). kazu gets misumi a bracelet (with triangles, of course although misumi only wears it sometimes because he doesn't want to lose it) and misumi gets kazu a pair of triangle earrings "so we can match!" and kazunari combusts at the implications

EXTRA 4: sharing clothes     THEY'RE ACTUALLY AROUND THE SAME SIZE (and tend to wear baggier stuff barring kazu's skinny jeans)... but they have completely different Styles so it's still really obvious when steal each other's stuff ahdjajdkaf. as cute as kazu would look in sumi's sweatshirt i think the much more likely scenario is kazu wrapping misumi in his jackets because this boy nEVER BRINGS HIS ANYWHERE anyway just. accidental shared wardrobe misukazu.

EXTRA 5: lake house au    consider: kazunari living in a house on the shore of a lake for a summer for Art Purposes (and a little bit for Dealing With Life purposes but he's not gonna admit that) and meets his lake neighbor misumi who kazu thinks might be a ghost or spirit for a while but he actually just lives further down the lake and misumi unknowingly helps kazu with his Life Issues and maybe they fall in love

[princess-of-the-worlds]

7 questions, 17 people

tagged by the lovely @luna-colorata 

nickname: nik! it’s a nikname (see what i did there) derived from my actual name which many of you will never know.

zodiac: leo

height: 5′5-ish i think?

hogwarts house: ravenclaw!

last thing I googled: ummmmmm, ahahahahha, ehhhhhh, hehehhe, it was this desi/South Asian meme about a woman named rashi who left the cooker in the kitchen....long story.

song stuck in my head: Colors by Halsey

followers: 788! only took me 5 years to get there!

amount of sleep: rn? 6.5ish? ideally/usually? 6.5-8. (i am useless w/o sleep)

lucky number: 3 because my birthday is 8/3.

dream job: author. i just wanted to be paid to write. nothing else. please.

wearing: weird denim shorts that are long enough to almost be capris but also they cut off above my knee? and this cotton blouse i bought when i was 16.

favorite song: uhhhhhhh. good question. Fools by Troye Sivan. Everything I Wanted by Billie Eilish?

favorite instrument: played flute for a bit, and also briefly violin. sooooo, i don’t really have one i guess?

favorite author: V. E. Schwab. Leigh Bardugo. (fuck you jkr)

favorite animal noise: the soft meows cats make. they’re so cute. i want a pet.

random: uhhhhhhhhh. hopefully i’ll be querying my novel in a few months? it’s called Trial By Liar and is about a bunch of con artists. ask me about it if you please?

Tagging (oh god do i even know 17 people you don’t to do this if you don’t want): @flamingbluepanda, @jaune-chat, @ultraviolet-eucatastrophe, @violetmessages, @shejustcalledmeafish, @yavemiel, @juliana677, @thirteeninafez, @cyborgtamaki, @iianto-jones, @agent-sato, @agent-jones, @agent-harkness, @thatlastdanceofchances, @misssophiachase, @accidental-rambler, @austennerdita2533

[avantguardisme]

i got tagged by @bourgeoix​ to Tell Me Good Things That Happened This Year (last year now i guess) so here are some top 5s of mine from 2020 under the cut!

this will be difficult because i have absolutely no sense of time and don’t know when i did anything this year but i’ll do my best  

movies i watched: (i did have to look up what movies came out in 2020 for this lmao)

emma. (2020) was the last movie i saw in theaters god bless

finally watched someone great this december at my sister’s suggestion and it made me cry!!

almost forgot that the half of it came out in 2020 but oh my god what a good fucking movie (and if you liked the half of it go watch saving face too!! alice wu is a great fucking director and saving face is one of my faves)

i’m like 90% sure i watched parasite this year? anyway it was great & i gotta watch more bong joon ho movies

i really did not watch that many movies this year huh. 

oh wait fuck i forgot about the old guard & enola holmes, which ill group here together as a pair of refreshing action/adventure movies that i really enjoyed!

tv shows i watched:

harlots!! on this blog we love 1) women 2) period dramas 3) charlotte wells in particular

oh i think this year i finally rewatched all of atla! i saw almost every episode as a kid (normally several times and not necessarily in order) and even tho i remembered the show really well it was really cool to see it altogether! and find out i had missed watching TWO whole episodes as a kid

great pretender, but i mostly just liked the first season. fucking gorgeous show overall tho even if it kinda loses its balance thematically in the last arc

queen’s gambit (this is truly the year of my giant crush on anya taylor joy huh)

unsure if this technically counts as television but i got very into dimension 20 this year! especially fantasy high, but i’m also working my way through unsleeping city and crown of candy right now, just very good dnd actual play stuff overall

songs i listened to: (this is not my actual top 5 songs on spotify wrapped bc that’s embarrassing, more like my faves of the year)

ambrosia by rosie tucker

boreas by the oh hellos

i know the end by phoebe bridgers

high in the garden by sorcha richardson

nana triste by natalia lacunza & guitarricadelafuente

books i read:

earthsea! i think i started these this year, i’m currently on the farthest shore & genuinely all of them are so good, stan ursula le guin

the priory of the orange tree by samantha shannon!! yes this book is like 800 pages yes i did read half of it in like a week. i also didnt realize there was gonna be so many gays goin in and boy was i extremely pleasantly surprised

obligatory inclusion of a reading i did for class, but la vida es sueño by calderón de la barca honestly kinda kicks ass, i did a whole paper on one the soliloquies in there and the verse is just good y’all

oh also gender trouble by judith butler which i read a good bit of for my theory class and lives rent free in my brain at this point

uncensored picture of dorian grey by oscar wilde, which im like 90% sure i read early this year and not last year, but time doesnt exist who cares really. love that fucking prose tho, and i think the themes are more clear with the inclusion of basil as an explicitly gay character tbh

good things that happened to me:

got into grad school??? and started grad school???

related, but i wrote a 17 page term paper somehow too, which is a thing i apparently can do now

and i moved across the country and live in an apartment now! and i have so many plants! and a full size bed! and a desk and a bookshelf!

oh shit i almost forgot this was the year i finally got an adhd diagnosis! and now im all medicated and shit its fucking amazing

and i’ve started writing a lot more! not just papers for class and stuff, but also some more fiction which maybe i’ll actually finish one day lmao

uhhhhhhhhh idk who to tag since i dont interact much on here much anymore, how about @romanarcadia @waitingforgalois @equalseleventhirds @yourladybrie @starsighns and literally anyone else who wants in u can say i tagged u :)

[rightpastnowhere]

danganronpa?

favorite female character: if you didn’t already know, kyoko owns my soul

favorite male character: makoto!!! what a boy!!! somf

favorite book/season/etc: trigger happy havoc is my favorite game, and my favorite installment(???) of the series!! i love my og kiddos and i just... i dunno. i like it more

favorite episode: considering the games, the 6th chapter of the second game is my favorite!!! considering the anime, episode 9 of dr3-future destroyed me, i’m still not over it

favorite cast member: hinata’s english voice actor is an absolute gem and really sold me on the second game

favorite ship: naegiri!!!!! i’m so basic but opposites attract is just...... so good.......... plus theyre canon which makes me so happy

character id die defending: kazuichi is a wonderful character and yeah he’s creepy but he’s BABY and i will write an entire essay on his obsession with sonia. leave my boy alone please

character i just can’t sympathize with: gosh these questions are so difficult for me uhhhhhhhhh i guess by default i’ll just say hifumi

character i grew to love: i thought yasuhiro hagakure was so annoying in the beginning but now i love him, he’s so dumb it’s funny

anti otp: i know i might get dragged for this but i don’t really like komahina??? it just didn’t click for me during the game and even now i’m kinda meh on it. which is ironic because it’s my second most bookmarked tag (thanks sun)