#uhhhh yay! silly guy

[kira-the-whump-enthusiast]

used as a literal punching bag from the torture bingo card for whoever you’d like

Card by @a-crumb-of-whump!!

Content: Well—being used as a punching bag, broken bones, emeto, prison whump, sadistic whumper, and generally a guy having Despair.

Tagging: @whump-queen @whump-in-the-closet @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @onlywhump

—

Thud.

The chess board clattered as it landed on the cold tile. From the farthest corner of the cell, Ciel watched intently as the guard got down on their knees in front of the board. And still they were looking down at him—Ciel could barely get off the floor in his state. His ankle was definitely sprained, and it ached terribly—a fact that hadn't convinced anyone to give him a break. Not to mention the bruises over bruises, scars over scars.

He was so tired.

The guard stared back at him with a barely concealed smirk, a taunting glare in their eyes. They gestured to the board as if it was a friendly invitation to play.

With no real choice, Ciel crawled to the edge of the chess board, the chain around his good ankle clanking as he did so. There was no getting out of this. He'd play, or he'd suffer for refusing.

He always got first move. The guard treated it like it was some sort of mercy—and maybe it had been, a long time ago.

I'm giving you a chance. Be grateful for it.

He tried to smile like he was.

Either way, the game always ended the same. It ended with blood and tears and words like I’m sorry, I'm sorry, don't hurt me, please— falling from his lips.

The best Ciel could do was stall for time, use every move to prolong the game. And maybe, maybe he'd spend a few minutes in a little less pain than he usually was. Maybe, maybe, something would happen and they wouldn't finish and he'd get to avoid the end for just one day.

But it never happened. The final move would always be made. Someone would checkmate, and the game would end.

The guard was an incredibly tough opponent, and it had taken Ciel countless games to finally capture their king. He almost cried that first time he won, because he'd thought that maybe this time, maybe, just maybe—he'd finally be safe.

And then he saw the flash of anger and felt the first blow.

That's when he learned that everything was futile.

It didn't matter who won this time either.

The guard locked cuffs around his wrists, attached a chain to the ceiling, and pulled him up and up—his shoulders stretching more than he could bear, his toes barely touching the floor.

They circled him like a hungry hawk surveying its prey. Ciel closed his eyes and bit on his lip until blood dripped down his chin.

Please just get it over with.

The blows didn't hurt that much compared to the despair. Even as his ribs cracked. As the fists to his stomach made him vomit. As his voice gave out from the screaming.

It didn't hurt as much as knowing next week, it'd happen all over again.

There was no escaping this hell.

—

A/N: hehehe sad chess man go brrr

[embrosegraves]

𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕊𝕒𝕚𝕟𝕫

Oscar Piastri x Horner!Reader Monaco, Canada and Spain oh my! Oscar decides to continue his quest for world domination (claiming home races) and prove that he's the best boyfriend his ex ever lost.

Warnings: my usual warnings apply :P (for the love Nicole Piastri, please pretend oscar's wearing an rbr suit. i beg)

⋆Ember's Notes⋆ I will try my best to get each chapter out on the weekend of the last race mentioned in the chapter. For example, this is being posted in time for the Spanish GP, and the next should be out in time for Silverstone as that will be the last GP mentioned in the next chapter.

series masterlist | previous part | next part

MonacoGP

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yn.horner He may be a silly goofy guy, but he's OUR silly goofy guy

tagged: misshoney.lemon

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user5987 he? HE?

user4351 she gets one dog and somehow also brings home a whole ass MAN -> misshoney.lemon uhhhh Mum says I'm much more than JUST a dog. -> user4351 misshoney.lemon you're so right, that's mb

user2457 mum? w-what happened to dad? -> yn.horner yeah so turns out I can't physically date/marry Javi Gutierrez -> pascalispunk not with that attitude😉

danielricciardo right. what's all this then -> yn.horner yeah nah nah yeah. Nah nah but yeah y'know yeah nah. -> danielricciardo 😨 -> yn.horner two can play that game mf

oscarpiastri how much did you freak out when Pedro commented -> yn.horner freak out? me? i didn't freak out. -> pascalispunk not even a lil bit? 😓😓 -> yn.horner skhdajdag okay maybe i DID freak out -> pascalispunk yay 😁 -> oscarpiastri 😆😆

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redbullracing Picture this: 1. admin's new fit (shoutout to thatcrochetgirl 😘) 2. oscar laid eyes on his one true love 3. max doesn't know how to look naturally cool 4. the hairpin of all hairpins 5. car. 6. that moment when u share a podium w/ ur new dad and his weird spanish sidechick (shoutout to scuderiaferrari for the pic, rbr admin didn't get any 😓)

tagged: oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, scuderiaferrari

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user5598 Admin really said "yeah oscar got 2nd at monaco, but look at my clothes" -> yn.horner the girlies that get, get it

scuderiaferrari We got you girl 😘🫶 -> redbullracing actually the loml -> scuderiaferrari 🤭🤭 -> oscarpiastri ayo? 🤔 -> maxverstappen1 ayo? 🤔 (x2) -> charles_leclerc ayo? 🤔 (x3) -> carlossainz55 ayo? 🤔 (x4) -> redbullracing look away

user5487 not the redbull and ferrari admins falling in love while their drivers are at each others throats -> redbullracing don't let your drivers stop you from finding the love of your life -> user6842 redbullracing periodt 💅💅

CanadaGP

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oscarpiastri In between races 🤟

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user5827 Oscar soft launching before the mid season hit was definitely NOT on my bingo card -> user7593 but after the mid season was??? -> user5827 user7593 I had hope

yn.horner please tell me you're better at tennis than you were last year -> oscarpiastri yn.horner I'll have you know that my tennis skills have vastly improved 🙄🙄

danielricciardo her shoes look so painful 😬😬 -> oscarpiastri she has assured me they're a lot comfier than they look -> heidiberger where did she get them?? I need a pair rn -> oscarpiastri "I have an extra pair if she wants them." heidiberger -> heidiberger i love her

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SpainGP

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redbullracing is RBR making an instagram post of a twitter post? yes.

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oscarpisatri peak content really

user5987 RBR admin is iconic for this

maxverstappen1 "Flex on you with my youthful stride" 🤣🤣

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putting the taglist back on the main posts lmao

TAGLIST (closed)((i really hope everyone actually gets tagged, i'm this 🤏close to just getting rid of the taglist all together 🙃🙃))

@barnestatic @fionaschicken @fanficweasley @sltwins @storminacloud @halleest @formulaal @ems-alexandra @iloveyou3000morgan @christianpulisic10 @fangirl-dot-com @nikfigueiredo @yourbane @purplephantomwolf @eternalharry @cherry-piee @starssfall @33-81 @jpg3 @marie0v @d3kstar @applopie @aquangxl @eugene-emt-roe @woozarts @scott-mccall-could-lift-mjolnir @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @1-800-simpingcowbaby @marshmummy @landossainz @alwaysboredsworld @mellowarcadefun @dannyleclerc @lozzamez3 @spookystitchery @scarletwidow3000 @moldyshorts1997 @hiireadstuff @bearyyyy @evie-119 @hwalllllllelujah @nixily @generalnav @hdigditditdjgd @kqliie @lokideservesahug @littlegrapejuice @halfdeadsage @zzzhealy

[notsorryforbeingbluencold]

a camp here & there homestuck sburb/sgrub au has been rotating around in my mind for Months.... it would be So fun to see those silly little guys as trolls and running around ending the world nd shit..... it would probably be called camp boonbuck & grist ?? i dunno....

i only have elijah, sydney and jedidiah because in all honesty i dont care enough about the other characters to figure out chumhandles and fetch modii and specibuses and allat but ! yay. um also have adam because i needed a space player

sydney would be a derse heir of doom, jedidiah (or. jediah i guess? to fit the 6 letter naming rule. maybe just jeddie) would be a prospit mage of time, elijah would be a prospit muse of heart and adam (up-adam) would he a derse seer of space :333

i do have classpects for all the counsellors that had voices in s1 and adam was a hope player but i changed thst for boonbuck & grist because i feel like he fit better than marisol with the other guys :P idk,,, i have a whole twt thread with my classpects for the counsellors but its really disorganised and messy 😭😭 if anyone is even vaguely interested that ill put the classpects + blood castes here too

i imagine elijah's horns would replace the elephant ears on her mask ? so she just wouldn't have the mask umm i think jeddie would have vaguely gear shaped horns like how people give to dave strider when they make homestuck kid troll aus and shit

i think sydney's horns would probably replace the mushrooms in his hair thats fun,,, love drawing trolls with mushroom shaped horns!!!!!!

uhhhh doooonnnttt know if this is Entirely accurate considering it came from a fandom wiki page but i think sydney and jeddie would have a juju modus with eachother. like one captchalogues something and it goes to the others stack. the codependency goes crazy with this one

ummmmmm thats it..... i think it would be funny to make sydney a prince of life because. princes do the opposite of their classpect and sydney isnt exactly alive but heir of doom fit better :33 yay

(Don't know what to say here cuz I've never seen homestuck but Tumblr is making me caption this)

[samthecookielord]

(Intro) - (Previous)

With a bit of convincing, Ivor gets Jesse to take a potion of eepiness! yay!

And with that, you get Jesse to take a goddamn nap already. You only realize after they’re already snoozin' that you probably should have kept them awake to teleport everyone back

Oops lol.

So you have to take them back on foot. ‘Cause they snooze for a while. Ivor and the entire redstone block he added to the potion <33

On the way, Jesse talks in their sleep! How cute and quirky of them. They say things like “we need to get rid of the sun, it’s bad for him” and “i gotta kill romeo” because they’re just so silly and quirky.

The player regains control of Jesse. The first thing they see when they wake up is a picture frame. It’s the picture from before except they fixed it and jesse isn’t obscured anymore. Maybe there’s like notes from each of the friends next to it. insert another group hug here. We don’t have a ton of ideas for this episode lolll i guess it’s like a slice of life episode about repairing your relationship with the beacontown citizens? Also stella is there! Stella probably had a silly sitcom B plot while all the wacky stuff with the main cast was happening. Maybe she made up with Lluna too. We love to see it

Also you can show Twoben to the guy with the pigs. You know the one. You can show him Twoben. And Twoben’s little booties. Also maybe kevin from stampy is there because why the hell not. omg yay

Radar is now honest about being a zombie and you get him an umbrella so he can walk around during the day without overheating. Since you’re god you can just set the time to night if need be anyway. Provided you light up beacontown really good. Also you go to him privately and tell him that if he wants to quit his job on account of the manslaughter that would be ok

Jesse: Hey… Radar: Yeah? Jesse: Just so you know, if you don't... feel comfortable still working here, I get that, and it's okay. I can help you find someplace else, if you want.

Radar thinks for a moment.

Radar: Actually, I think I’ll be okay.  Jesse: Really? Radar: Yeah. It was… really scary, but we’re friends. I know you never wanted to hurt me, and it was scary for you too. It’d be kind of nice to stick together, I don’t know. Jesse: If you’re sure.

Radar goes to Romeo to help make sense of his notes on Jesse’s powers. He is the only one who can do this because he is really good at not immediately punching him for everything even if he really wanted to. He is so brave. Gold star for him.

and then uhhhh that's the end of the doc! aside from dedicated episode to oc shenanigans. theres probably a lot we missed simply due to forgetting to put it on the doc LOL but we hope you enjoyed!

...

it's not over yet?

(? You can now play as Radar)

[d0not-disturb]

MY HERMIT-HAMILTON AU!! (Empires included 😉)

-Hamilton: Mumbo Jumbo (my fav💋)

-Eliza: Grian

-Angelica: Martyn 🤑

-Peggy: Jimmy

-Aaron Burr: Docm

-John Laurens: Scar

-Lafayette: Iskall

-Hercules Mulligan: Impulse

-King George: King Ren, Obvi 😒

-Samuel Seabury: Bdubs

-Philip Hamilton: Grumbot 😉 (he got shot in the face)

-Tomas Jefferson: Geminitay

-James Madison: Pearlescentmoon

-George Washington: Xisuma

-Charles Lee: Zedaph (Take FAT L blud)

-Maria Reynolds: Also Jimmy. he needed more screen time tbh

-James Reynolds: Tango

-George Eacker: Etho (Grumbot killer 💋)

-John Addams: Cleo

__________________________________________________

NOTES I SUPPOSE!!,

-The ONLY reason I chose Mumbo for Hamilton is because Mumbo can’t spell and he ‘writes like he’s running out of time’ Also see how pathetic Hamilton was in the play? Wet cat vibes. Mumbo = wet cat. Mumbo = Hamilton.

-Helpless. Grian. Season 6. Eliza. Yeah it’s Grumbo themed. Because they have kid who got shot the stars align people!,! 👏👏👏 BTW Grian setting things ON FIRE MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. my fav arson boy. Tired of Mumbos silly shit. Same bro 😞 ALSO MUMBO SENT GRIAN LETTERS THRU MESSAGING SYSTEM GRIAN CALL HIMSELF CLINGY GIRLFRIEND. HMMMM WONDER WHAT THAT REMINDS ME OF. ELIZA. BEING HELPLESS. OMG. YAY GAYS.

-*sigh* Martyn DID marry Mumbo but not here. Lose for the Martyn Mumbo shippers. Like the one left. MARTYN GIVES OFF STRONG ANGELICA VIBES. Peggy is Jimmy. Jimmy is Peggy. YOU KNOW WHY. STARS ALIGN PEOPLE 👏👏👏👏👏👏 Also Jimmy grew a pair and stole his siblings man. Bravo Jimmy!

-Docm being Aaron Burr just fits okay? When Mumbo first came to Hermitcraft he found support in Doc. And Doc done SHOT the guy same here bruv. I would too if my wet cat main character supported Gem. SPEAKING OF WHICH-

-Gem, just Tomas Jefferson. MAYBE I WANT A PEARL AND GEM TEAM UP MAYBE NOT. WHO CARES ABOUT GENDER ITS A SCAM MADE UP BY BATHROOM COMPANIES TO SELL MORE BATHROOMS. Hmmmmmm Xisuma as Washington because I am a true believer of Mumbo thinks of him as a Dad core. Dadsuma. RIGHT HAND MAN 🏃‍♀️

-Uhhh Grumbot is literally Philip. Literally 🔥 They both love their Dads and do they’re last names Proud, they both got shot, THEY BOTH ARE PIANO KIDS! Hmmmm Biblically accurate my friend 🌚

-King George as King Ren just fits. HERE IS WHY!!! 1. they both fruity ass kings. 2. They have Fruity little guy who love and support them. 3. KING REN ARCH AND REBELLION. but then you’ll b like. Why Grian Eliza not Hamilton? Uhhhh because I SAID so. Also because who would be Schuyler sisters? (Don’t answer)

-Hmmmmm Scar as John Lauren’s make me happy…..Redscape hints people👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

-Urm I will NOT throw away my shot ☝️🤓 And make character designs and fake screenshots of these so expect THAT. send in asks for questions blah blah blah. And if I get something wrong, just tell me pls 😭

[angelpuns]

RAH, SPARKS OF BLUE- OIMJNHUBG MY HEART! You've killed Ranting anon, how could U :'C (/pos) but again SPOILER WARNING FOR ANYONE ELSE, GO READ IT.

But like <PKMJNHBG RAPH!! THE BOY! He's so sweet dude, and I love that his emotions are all over the place because thats how grieving works! (Ranting anon is grieving the loss of the Bloodbath au rn lol-) But like I love that he got angry at Casey and at Leo and at himself because like I said before its so, so easy to feel angry! That's why most people tend to try and be angry at something when their upset, so they have something to hate and they think once they get rid of that thing they hate they'll feel better when they won't and Raph realized that but Donnie hasn't! I love the difference in maturity! Raph realizing you can't hate someone for doing something they didn't know would cause harm (Casey) and Donnie hating him anyway because if he's angry he doesn't have to feel sad!!! KMJNHBG my heart, it also shows the difference in high/low empathy w/ autism and it makes me happy but I'll get into that another time- I'm eating ur writing like a goat rn.

I DIDN'T KNOW RANTING ANON WAS ALSO READING THE FIC LMAO HI

I was really relly really worried I wass gonna do a bad job of writing Raph tbh cause I know he's one of the more mischaracterized lil fellas - Like I know he's a silly guy most of the time but the Eldest Sibling(tm) in me really wanted to give it a go hehehe

ALSO YEAH HE'S SO MAD AT EVERYTHING FR BUT THERE'S SO MUCH TO DEAL WITH HE HAS NO CLUE WHERE TO DIRECT IT so it ends up sadly being directed at himself smh smh

Also absolutely think Raph would just feel so so so bad for being wrongfully angry at CJ ( even though yeah is partially to blame but fr he wass just doing as Leo said yknow??)

ALSO GET INTO IT RN CAUSE I WANNA HEAR ABOUT IT CAUSE YOU'RE SO RIGHT ( regardless of wether me writing it like that was on purpose or not uhhhh I will not say LMAO)

Idk if anything i said makes sense but tldr is YAY!!! and YOU'RE SO RIGHT!!!

[raeygina-george]

Every third remaining ask from the game

ill just answer the whole thing in one. LONG ASS POST GUYS

💖Favourite thing to draw

WAVY HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

💯Favourite piece(s)

you get a sneak peek of the art project im working on yay. the perks of putting up with my bullshit <3

some of these i like more than others but as of rn these are the pieces i show people who haven't seen my art. my makeshift portfolio, i guess

🌈Favourite colour palette(s)

i think this is obvious enough if you look at my previous answer, but pinks, oranges, purples, and blues!

🤴Favourite OC(s) to draw

oooh yikes. to DRAW???? i never draw my ocs... i really like kyrie's design but i've never drawn her outside of that so i feel like she'd be really hard to get right..... idk i mean i guess saturn????????

🎨Favourite artist(s)

i dont have a lot of these, but i like hanacue, aidairo, and milkie2's art styles (these r just what i could think of off the top of my head)

✒Favourite medium 

i like gouache cause im a whore bitch

📏Medium you’d like to work with more

gouache because im not typically a traditional artist and every time i sit down to paint i just end up suffering for like an hour before i finally accept the fact that i cannot save this little kitty from its fate of looking like a vaguely animal-shaped blob. such interactions further repel me from the world of traditional art. im taking a painting class soon though so i'll just get my act together then

💭Go-to subject matter

humans?? usually just like. smiling. not doing anything too interesting

💜Drawing staples

i don't know exactly what this means but if it's an art piece of mine, it's got pink in it

💬What you’d like to draw more of

i'd like to draw more like backgrounds and animals? there's a shit ton of stuff i wanna improve with my humans but idk i've been wanting to branch out a bit more for a while i just haven't had the time or energy to draw more than like 1 of my blorbos a month

😂 Funniest drawing

i play tee k o with my family (you) so i draw stuff for that that's silly. WAIT HANG ON

this isn't my funniest drawing but it's what i have

❓Weirdest drawing/drawing with a weird process

im doing an art telephone w my friends that i might post when we're done? i can't post it now cause that would ruin the fun but yeah

🕑Drawing(s) that took the longest

uhhhh i mean earlier in my drawing journey i took forever to draw and i really hated drawing bc i took a super long time to draw and i didn't like anything i made and no one else liked anything i made so it was just like wow i spent all that time for nothing. still glad i did it though bc that era was still an important step in my art development. anyways as for more recent pieces uhh. my piece for the yorknew auction took a while, mostly because i had 0 time or energy and it was a really involved piece

👑Favourite fictional character(s) to draw

as you will see, i really like drawing lust from fmab

👿Least favourite fictional character(s) to draw

i've found out that unfortunately drawing olivier is not very fun for me. so sad cause i really like her

👔Design process for [x] character 

oh my god guys ask me about my magical girl designs and i will go insane i will type up a whole essay. i'll talk about kyrie cause i like her a lot

here's the design! so she drowned (or rather, was drowned by someone else) at 16 after being stalked for a couple months and eventually kidnapped. not exactly the lightest story, but bc it was so traumatic her brain erased the memories, and she doesn't find out the real cause of death until much later in the story, when kye comes across a guy who lived in kyrie's town and gets the full story.

her outfit is themed after ophelia for. obvious reasons. i looked up paintings/common interpretations of ophelia and found that she was commonly depicted in a white and gold dress with reddish-brown hair half up. oh, and flowers. so i ran with that. the white streaks in her hair were actually not part of the initial plan, but when i was using the bucket tool it left blank streaks and i just thought it looked nice.

for the flowers i chose forget-me-nots because she loses her memory, and then the hands on the skirt represent her fight to stay alive (both while drowning and before) and how she reached out for help in the months leading up to her death but no one answered. she's also, in a way, reaching for her lost memories, who she used to be, etc etc. the blue thingy in the back was initially supposed to be a mermaid tail as like. a single callback to the little mermaid (and the fact that she was a really good swimmer, so it's ironic that she drowned), but i took the mermaid aspect out & added in the two eyes.

the eyes are like. the feeling of being watched. the eye at the front will always look at kyrie no matter what, and the eye in the back will look at anyone else it can find, as if pleading for help. i just noticed the bracelet? not sure why that's there. probably just for fun. anyways the ring with the star on it is from a play called 'the princess who had no name', which is about a princess with amnesia who's trying to find out who she is and where she came from.

and finally, the weapon! it's meant to be a sparkler, like the little fireworks yk? it's a callback to the very first draft of her character from like 2 years ago, back when the kyries shared the name lylie instead & i had written absolutely nothing about her character. but i was reading through the old plot/character info a while ago and i found out she apparently really liked fireworks??? that was like my only piece of info about her. i figured since she'd changed so much it was only fair i put a little something from her roots. but the sparkler can also represent how 'bright' she appears to be; people are drawn towards her, for better or worse.

📆Earliest fandom you did fanart for/first fanart

the first fandom i remember like really being hyperfixated on was.... miraculous ladybug................. BUT i didn't make any fanart for it, so instead you get the very first real piece of art i ever made on my computer :)

shoutout to me for drawing those wings by hand. i didn't know how to use the flip tool so i just spent like 4 hours trying to make them symmetrical. and now i can't even remember how to draw butterfly wings. smh

HOLY SHIT WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED. BACK WHEN YOU FIRST SHOWED ME FAIRY TAIL I DREW HAPPY A COUPLE TIMES. I DONT HAVE ANY PICS BUT THAT'S DEFINITELY EARLIER THAN THIS. oh my god and don't even get me started on my warriors phase. wow i guess i've been making fanart since forever lol

📖Sketches 

this post is already too long. no

📝Process for [x] drawing 

my general art process is idea > rough sketch > real sketch > lineart (if applicable) > coloring > rendering > SHADE THE FUCK OUT OF THAT THING > send it to my friends and say 'anything else i should add 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺' > add a little more shading > done. you can ask me for more detailed instructions, i'd be happy to give a more in-depth tutorial about something specific

✨Inspiration for [x] drawing 

uh idk i do a lot of redraws. lately i've been doing redraws + asking friends for cool poses + looking at stock images for inspiration

💚Things you like about [x] drawing

i'll go with that aubrey piece from one of the earliest questions. i like how the emotions came across in both her expression and the coloring, and how much more fluid the pose is. i think the shading & rendering is neat. overall it's a big improvement from the piece i was redrawing so im really proud of that & it's nice to see how far i've come in a relatively short amount of time

⏳Things you’d do differently with [x] drawing

using the same drawing, uhh... idk there's some stuff with the proportions that like. sometimes looks fine to me and sometimes looks off? i really just eyeball anatomy and stuff so it's not always particularly Good. i like the colors i have here but they're not the colors i was intending to use. i didn't really know how to draw the jacket and everything i did with the top just looked strange so they're not As Detailed or 'good' as they probably could be? there's parts where i got lazy and all that but all in all i really like this drawing and nothing big really jumps out at me, these are all just nitpicks

💌Some favourite feedback on art

hmmmmmmm i really like the few like. paragraph responses i've gotten. i appreciate every single comment i get but like when people rave to you about your art???? that's so nice. i can't really pick out a critique i've heard that super super helped me off of the top of my head, but there's power in knowing what you can do better next time

[auspex]

7, 9 & 25 for mark!

What's one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them?

answered before but hm. another. i actually didn't intend for him to be so kind at first he was supposed to be a bit of a hardass asshole but then. that became just a Front and projection that eventually i just scrapped. like he is still Snarky but it doesn't have as much teeth to it. he's a snarky professor and will Judge You for sure but if u came to him after class and was like. im so sorry im going through it please let me do this late. he would let u and legit care. god. cries. like of course he's like this. how could someone w so much belief in love and humanity be otherwise. cries more.

-

Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC?

Uhhhh i mean a lot of songs on his playlist i think fit him well. lemme find a Really Really good one that Kills me when i hear it.

oops edit: added alt text lyric screenshot: everything i love is on the table/everything i love is out to sea/i have only two emotions/careful fear and dead devotion/i can't get the balance right ok yeah this is angsty as hell but fits the spirit of the ask. everything he loves is sooo vulnerable rn whether thats cause julius or just other vampires or just. you know. all his secrets. and then most of what he is feeling rn is fear or devotion to either Julius or those ppl he loves (which ig julius too YAY BLOOD BOND) and its real tough for him to balance that so everything stays fine. and . yea.

Song is Don't Swallow the Cap by the National.

-

What is your favorite thing about your OC?

I literally sound like a broken record im sorry but his conviction about humanity being important and always Getter Better and his belief in them??? its so subtle and rarely comes up directly in play but its so important to him and is gonna Save Him if he can hold on to that. and i think its prob the most compelling thing i made True about him from the start and the rest of his good shit, other than his silly romantic ideas, comes from this really. proud of this conviction. what a guy.

[fireflysprincess]

how about uhhhh 69 for the jokes lol and ummmm 24 and 36

OH BOY LADS ITS ALL TO.KU IDIOTS LETS GOOOO

f/o ask game !

NUMBER CHOSEN: 69

F/O CHOSEN: Azuma Mic.hi.na.ga !

SO LUCKILY ENOUGH IVE ALREADY POSTED SCREENSHOTS EXPLAINING THE AZU LORE BEFORE

Which is nice because there's so. So. Much.

Link for the lore please appreciate my insanity

So here's some silly facts: my s/i calls him azu ! All the time. Frequently

He also takes every cow, bull, or buffalo plush he finds and buys it and then shows it to azu and is like "this is u"

He annoys azu so much but in an affectionate way ya know

NUMBER CHOSEN: 24

F/O CHOSEN: Ignis !

This insane bitch

Okay ! So my s/i works for guts-select ! And accidentally sees kengo turning into trigger one day and well. Cover blown. Not that kengo was hiding it well.

So he is dragged into so much chaos and well! Fucking ignis appears. And takes and interest in him bc he's fucking insane..and tries to attack ignis with a giant hammer. It's fine.

ALL JOKES ASIDE the two start to get closer and at some point have a genuine heart to heart when ignis is ✨imprisoned for his crimes✨

Fun fact the confession is actually dumb as fuck bc there's an ep where everyone's hallucinating their desires and well. Guess what happens to my s/i ✨ and guess who is there to see it ✨

It's fine it works out Ignis is ecstatic

Though Ignis does still do some insane ass shit (plan to sacrifice himself to kill the guy who destroyed his planet) ONCE EVERYTHING IS SETTLED AND OKAY they go travelling through space together!!! Yay !!!

NUMBER CHOSEN: 36

F/O CHOSEN: Shuichi Ki.ta.ok.a !

WHERE DO I EVEN. BEGIN.

Uh beware there is slight nsfw talk here but it's not detailed

Okay so me and twin have uh. Complex lore for ry.u.ki in which we changed up a lot but also not a lot at the same time. So my s/i is similar to think like. tsu.mu.ri in ge.a.ts, kinda helps explain shit and keep things running properly

Only because he and his twin got dragged into the blast that started all of this and also got kinda. Trapped in-between the mir.ror world and regular world

ANYWAYS THID BITCH will NOT leave my s/i alone constantly calling him up to ask stupid questions and bug the shit out of him

A lot of shit happens, the two actually at some point begin a fwb type situation lol because ichi is annoying and is into him and my s/i is always stressed

Eventually he finds out about ichis illness and why he's even agreed to take part in the ri.d.er war, and yeah.

The two get in an argument at some point about ichi nearly dying which leads into my s/i confessing in a panicked moment of fearing losing him and well. Yeah.

Goro is also involved! It's a poly relationship all three are dating each other but he wasn't the one rolled so we won't go deep into that

ANYWAYS ichi eventually succumbs to his illness WHICH IS SO FUCKED and that mentally destroys my s/i and goro takes ichi places to try to win to wish him back BUT WELL THST GOES BACK TOO AND PAIN AND SUFFERING.

And then the world resets ! Fun !

But hey everyone is alive again ! And it's all ! Totally okay! Totally! Sure ! Let's say that. Alas they all forgot their memories

Though me and twin decided fuck that and they do get them back after a while (similar mechanism to bu.il.d we decided) and well!! Happy reunion !!!!

This is such a watered down explanation of events BUT GOD. SO MUCH. HAPPENS. IN THIS DAMN SHOW.

The three are happily married the end JENDJDJJD

[the-fiction-witch]

C-O-C-Uhh!

REAL LIFE: COUPLE: TBS X READER RATING: SMUT REQUESTED:

shmateHiiii! So i don’t know if you guys are taking requests right now but I saw this thing on Twitter and I think it’s the funniest/creative thing ever. It’s where you’re riding someone and spell coconut and I was wondering if you could do a smut with that with Thomas. Thank you! I totally understand if you can’t at the moment

I smirked as I finished getting dressed into my favourite little black dress and red lipstick, "You're just trying to tease me aren't you?" I heard Thomas ask from the bed he was laid amung the white and light blue sheets of our bed his pale body managed together with the bedsheets barely covering his naked body in his still half asleep state his arm behind his head to keep it up as he looked at me stood Infront of the mirror I kept an eye on him in the reflection as he often bit his lip and lightly moved his hips as he watched me getting dressed "No" I smiled "Liar..." He smirked as I went over putting my handbag on the bed to sort it out more "you are just doing all this to give me a Bonner" he growls "Am I?" I ask curiously "You tell me sweetheart" he smirked glancing down at himself licking his bottom lip I sighed and got sorted unplugging my phone from my side of the bed "Thomas I really don't have time for you to be thinking with that head this morning" I told him "Yes you do..." He smirked "No I don't I have to-" I began before he grabbed my hips and forced me to sit on his lap "Thomas I know you're horny and happy I'm home but I have work" I told him giving him a lips a little kiss "Please y/n..." He pleads fixing my hair "you've been gone for months, and it's your first day home and you're rushing off again" he complained "I have to work, we can spend time together on Saturday" I told him "That's almost a week away" he whines "please just take one day off and stay here with me" he pleads "I can't Thomas I'm sorry" I told him giving his head a kiss and getting up "we can cuddle up when I get home okay?" "Okay" he sighed turning away from me so I smiled giving him a cuddle which made him smile a little "You know I would stay if I could Thomas, it's not that I don't want to stay with you," I explain "I know, I just wish you weren't away so much" he sighed "Humm now you know how I feel when you go away for months on end" I smiled giving him a kiss "Point taken" he laughs "go on you'll be late" "Okay, I'll bring dinner home" I smiled giving him another kiss and heading off to work

I smiled as I unlocked the door getting home taking my heels off at last and looking into the house Thomas was laid fast asleep on the sofa with some racing show playing on the tv the cat on the arm of the sofa often batting Thomas's face she clearly wanted her dinner but he wasn't waking up so I smiled going and doing her dinner and turning off the TV "Thomas..." I smile giving him some kisses "Humm? Ohh hello sweetie" he yawns as he saw it was me "Sorry I'm so late" I told him "It's alright, I waited up for you" he smiled as he stretched "Did you?" I ask "I tried" he shrugs "I was sleepy" "I can tell, you had dinner?" I ask and he nods "come on sleepy boy up to bed" I smiled helping him up so he went up to bed and I locked up the house going into the room and taking my little dress off and my make up "You look really pretty y/n" he told me as he sat on our bed "Thanks Thomas, you just think I look nice because I'm not wearing anything" I laughed taking my bra off and slipping my nightie on "No it's not" he says getting up and cuddling me "I like seeing you this way, without your pretty dresses and without your make up... Knowone else in the world gets to see you the way I do" he explained giving me a kiss "come on sweetheart to bed you have work tomorrow" he says so I went and happily cuddled up in bed with him for a while "Thomas?" I ask "Yes sweetie?" He asks me "I wanna play a game" I smiled "What sort of game?" He asks so I pushed him over so he was laid on his back and I sat up sitting on his lap "ohhh? What does this game involve then?" He asks "Spelling" I smiled "Spelling? I'm gonna lose" he sighed "No you don't wanna do that Thomas you lose and no sex or foreplay for two weeks" I smiled "Yeah? Alright I'll play sweetheart" he smirked "Okay you have to say what it is that I'm spelling" I smirk moving my hips to grind on him "Uuuhhh! That's either an I or an L either way keep doing them sweetheart they feel good" he groans "It was an I" I giggled doing the next one "Uuh! That's a L I think?" He smirked and I nodded doing the next one "hummm that's a O, I like when you do O's" he smirked so I did the next one "umm... I think that's a V?" He asks and I nod "come on this Is easy" he smirked so I did the rest of the spelling almost in one go "ilovy... I love you!" He smiled as he figured it out "awww sweetie I love you too" he smirked giving me a kiss "Your turn" I giggled "Okay" he smirked holding my hips gently grinding slowly on me I giggled trying to work out the letters "C... U...N...Thomas!" I yell as I worked it out "Ohh come on like I'm gonna miss an opportunity to write cunt on your cunt" he smirked "No naughty words Tommy" I complain "That was not explained in the rules" he complained "at no point did you explain I couldn't write the word cunt on your Virginia with my dick" "You are a very dirty boy" I giggled giving him a kiss "It's why you fell in love with me sweetheart" he smirked "come on your turn" he smiled "Okay" I giggled putting my hands on his stomach so I could move easier "F...U..C- ummm is my sweetheart going to spell a naughty word?" He smirked "I thought that was against the rules?" "For you, not for me" I giggled "Seems unfair?" He smirked "It is" I giggled "the only other rule is you cum and I won't sleep with the for weeks" I smirk "and If you moan I restart my word" I giggled "You're trying to tourcher me aren't you sweetheart?" He growls "Maybe" I smile "Alright, toucher me then" he smirked so I sat up and began spelling a word I knew he wouldn't be able to resist "C...O ummm" he groans "Heheh start again" I giggled "I knew you'd pick something with O's and C's you evil little thing" he smirked "C...O...C- Uhhh!" He moans "Start again" I giggled "Are you trying to make me fucking cum in my pants y/n!" He complained "A little" I smile "C...O...C...O...N- please y/n! Stop it!" He whines "Why?" I giggled "Because I'm gonna cum if you don't" he groans "Start again" I smirk "Uhhhh! Y/n please! Enough enough" he pleads but I started again "C...O...C...O...N...uuh U...T" he groans "Yay you did it" I smiled giving him a kiss "but you moaned...so we start again" I smirk "You evil girl!" He complained "It's why you love me" I smiled starting again "C-O-C-O-N-U-T" He groans "fucking hell that feels nice" he groans "you should grind that on me everytime your horny" he smirked holding my hips and flipping us over so I was on the bed "enough of this silly game... I have a much better game in mind" he smirked slipping my panties off and pushing up my nightie

[sachi-pon]

free! dive to the future episode 12 liveblog/review thing

*loud sigh*

i am DREADING watching this episode. one reason is that i don't know if this is the end... the end, forever??? i don't know!!! i really hope not!! ;__; the other reason is that because this is the season finale, i know it's going to be emotional!!! there's no way a free! season finale will not be emotional. the other two were. XD

but i have to watch the episode. as much as i am terrified to watch it... i must. i've got to do it. >__<UUU

so here we go!!!!!

please read my previous liveblogs as well. i've been reacting to everything this season!  (episode 1) (episode 2) (episode 3) (episode 4) (episode 5) (episode 6) (episode 7) (episode 8) (episode 9)  (episode 10) (episode 11) and THANK YOU VERY MUCH to anyone who reads my liveblogs. thank you for taking the time to read them!!!! <33333

watch ep 12 officially on crunchyroll: http://www.crunchyroll.com/free-iwatobi-swim-club/episode-12-dive-to-the-future-775643

***

the episode starts out with some BEAUTIFUL animation!!!

i think it's so cute that haru was fascinated by water ever since he was little.

yesssss i was waiting for that shot of little haru smiling!!! i already posted that screenshot here on my blog. XD if that doesn't absolutely melt your heart, then... you have no heart!

makoto cooking??? THAT'S SO ADORABLE <3

i would be happy to eat burnt toast if makoto made it. <33333

;___; omg omg omg that is so sad. he didn't help his friend. so i bet that is a major source of guilt for him. and, i wonder if that's some kind of foreshadowing...??? maybe haru and/or rin will be forced to make some kind of difficult choice between swimming and something else. i'm not saying that'll happen in this episode but maybe in the future (well, that's assuming there is another season)

hahaha, the muscle lovers have brainwashed ayumu!!! XD

yaaaaaay i am actually seeing ikuya and hiyori again!!!! i love them! ^__^

rin's surprised face at seeing natsuya again hahahaha

"you're late haru... just like me lol" -rin

"it's been so lon--" SLAP. what a warm welcome???

i feel like there should have been a theme song by now...

ikuya and natsuya about to race each other while remembering all those memories ;__; this episode is so emotional already lol.

*very dramatic music*

HAHAHAHAHA that out-of-date phrase came back. those random laughing people are like "who is that old fool??"

that little screenshot of ikuya and natsuya sleeping while leaning against each other UGGGGHHH that was a really sharp knife in my heart <3

hiyori is so excited for ikuya, awww.

*awkward panting*

yay i was hoping ikuya would win, just because i think it's funny that natsuya lost to his little brother!!!

THAT HANDSHAKE TURNING INTO A HUG I AM DONE. I AM DONE WITH THIS ANIME. IT'S BAD FOR MY HEALTH. I CANNOT BREATHE WITH ALL THESE EMOTIONS GOING ON. ;___; ;___; ;___;

NATUYA'S CRYING?!?!??!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!!? WTF WHY ARE YOU CRYING, STOP THAT, NOOO THIS IS TOO PRECIOUS. he really is so proud of ikuya!!!!! ^___^

lol now ikuya's crying and his little shaky voice, aaaaaaggghh. i hate this show so much. this show is too dangerous for my heart. i can't survive all this. why are all of these characters such wonderful angels???? WHY???????

i think asahi is starting to cry too lol

all right, that's a good stopping point. well, i'm done. ...wait... whaddaya mean there's more time left in this episode??? whaddaya mean that i haven't even watched half of the episode??? oh no, i have to keep watching!!! i don't think i'm ready for this you guys

"haruka-senpai and the rest have really dived into an incredible world." no, rei, they have DIVED INTO THE FUTURE!!!!!! =)

you couldn't have just walked AROUND them???? -__-

this guy's bright orange hair bothers me...

that confident look you get on your face when you are aware of how awesome you are and how powerfully bright your hair is:

"you cant gain that kind of strength without throwing something else away." uhhhh well that's creepy. what did kinjou throw away? (his sanity???)

ryuuji believes you basically have to give up everything, even your friends, to make it in the competitive world =( he's obviously still feeling guilt about what happened with his own friend. what's interesting is that we don't know how haru feels about what ryuuji just said. does haru agree?

rin is so cool that he has his own cool new music now hahaha.

haru looks suprised that rin did so well??? he shouldn't be surprised! rin is amazing <3

haru looks nervous??? (to be honest, i am nervous too lol. my heart is beating fast...)

he had a late start? i couldn't tell. XD

i am seriously freaking out over this animation. i just love it. the animation in this show is wonderful in general, but i feel like the animators take extra care in doing haru's swimming scenes. those scenes always look gorgeous. (even when haru's swimming isn't as fast as normal...)

everyone looks so sad about what happened with haru =(

asahi is so cute. XD he's so awkwardly funny!!!

sousuke startling rin... hahaha

hmmm, rin and sousuke are talking about sousuke swimming in a race in the future. does this mean there will be another season???

"nagisacchi" ^__^

"kissme?" looooool

omg there are so many more races tomorrow. but there are only a few minutes left in the episode!!! a lot needs to happen in just a few minutes!!

"bye-bye!" ugh why is every single thing that happens in this show so cute???

what was makoto about to ask haru???

marinka date???? <3 <3 <3

hmm, so haru really is bothered by what ryuuji said earlier

makoto and rin are laughing like "our son is so precious." XD

the three seagulls are on a date too??

rin saying he'd support makoto, awww that's so sweet!!! <3

haru yelling and scaring the birds away... what did those birds do to you, haru????

and omg, rin and makoto were totally caught off guard by that!!!! (well i was too o___o)

haru is running into the ocean... in order to turn into a merman?!?!?!??!! (i have been thinking about mermen all season, you know.)

"what kind of teen drama is this?" it took you this long to figure out that you are in a teen drama, rin?? XD

ummm for real where are they going though???

there are seriously like three minutes left in the episode. ... ... how is everything going to fit into three mins?

haru's speed surpassed albert's?!?!? wasn't albert the alien god?? wow...

ryuuji is trying to sit there and analyze why haru lost, but... dude, it's kinda your fault!! you're telling haru some weird stuff about "giving something up" and it made him nervous! =(

"he keeps talking about stupid stuff like friendship and bonds..." IT'S NOT STUPID, IT'S FREE!!!!!!

okay. so i'm at 21:40 and the entire episode is 23:40. rin and haru have not raced yet?!?!?!?!

finally!!! here it is!!!!!!!

hey, there's some new song sung by the voice actors playing in the bg???? i'm feeling emotions again...

let's dive... to the future!!!!!!

hmm, crunchyroll must be having techincal difficulties. instead of playing the rest of the episode, they are showing random pictures of the characters. this technical glitch must be fixed immediately.

...

...

...

oh. it's not a glitch. it's the ACTUAL EPISODE. THE ACTUAL EPISODE CUT OFF RIGHT BEFORE HARU AND RIN'S RACE. WHAT THE F@#^@$&#%%!%#^@^#^$#^@!@#$#%#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE WAITED ALL SEASON TO SEE THIS RACE!!!!!! WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING, PEOPLE WHO CREATE THIS CRAZY SHOW???!?!?!?!?!?! WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO US?!?!?! WHY????? WHYYYYYY????????!?!?!?!!!?!?!?!   >=(

*tries to calm down?*

"blue destination," that's what this song is called.

haha i like the samezuka guys doing the same silly-looking pose.

huh? there's a scene with just a few seconds left in the episode? what could possibly happen in this amount of time?????

nanase is in the lead?? okay, but... that doesn't really answer the question of who won the race. it's possible that rin could catch up. but i guess if he did catch up, they would have said it?

the god alien sees that haru is setting a new record! hmmm are you jealous??? =)

"see you in 2020" ?!?!?!?!?!?!? so i have to wait two years to find out who won the race??? -__-UUU

wait, wait... that means... FREE HAS NOT ENDED!!!!!!!!! IT'S NOT OVER!!!!!! THIS ISN'T THE END!!!!!!! omg omg omg omg!!!!!! you guys. i didn't know this. i didn't know if there was going to be any more. wow wow wow!!!!!!! i finally got my reassurance!!! <33333333 oh my goodness!!!!!! this is extremely important to me!!! like i have said before, free! is my #1 favorite anime ever. i didn't want it to end right now. i need more!!! i'm so incredibly happy that it's not over yet! that makes me feel a lot better.

okay now. it's time for me to sum up not only this episode, but the season. first, the episode. this was an exciting, heart-thumping episode. i was nervous about everyone's races!!! especially rin and haru's, but... it was a disappointment that the race wasn't actually shown. i'll assume haru won because they mentioned that he was in the lead. but i'm not 100% sure!!!

ikuya and natsuya were lovely. i really liked that scene when they were hugging and they were clearly so proud of each other!!! it was so touching!! this is why i love this show. <3 and i was happy to see hiyori again too. everyone was reunited. everyone was realizing what their dreams are and finding their confidence. so it was an important episode;.

and... MARINKA!!!!!! i will be honest and say that i really wanted a makoharu moment. but i've gotta say, marinka is nice too. =) it was really funny to me how rin and makoto were both laughing at haru at the same time. they each gave haru the encouragement that he needed in that moment. they really got him fired up. when he suddenly yelled into the ocean, i was like "O__O uuuuhhhhh..." but it's good to see haru feeling motivated!! ^__^ the shot of the three of them lying together in the water was something that i think instantly became iconic.

the scene in the theme song (which didn't even play today?!?) where haru is screaming and looking like he's turning super saiyan (lol) was about haru's scream in this episode!! mystery solved. =)

so how'd i feel about this whole season? umm... EXCELLENT!!!!! everything was amazing!! the characters' relationships and emotions!!! the music!!! the animation!!! the voices!!!! just... everything. i am impressed with this anime, as always. i have so much appreciation for all of the people who put it together, because i like everything about it. that's why i didn't want to think about it ending. when i saw that it was coming back in 2020, i became very, very eager to know what would happen in the future!!! i want to dive to the future...

[elleaveryblog]

"Pretty Handsome" By Pretty Pussy Written for and dedicated to.. Handsome Dick

Handsome Dick: ahhg! You Crap bastard tease! This better be worth the wait... errrrg..

Pretty Pussy: Ahhck! Yes... I should hope so... then again I am old and probably boring to immature boys... ..::SIGH::..

Handsome Dick: Hahahahaha... I guess you're past your prime for that aren't you?!?!

Pretty Pussy: Actually you're wrong... A woman's prime is in her mid to late 20's .... hahahahahahaha.. you're the one who's past your prime of 18...

Handsome Dick: Well, I just wouldn't want to break your hip..

Pretty Pussy: hahahaha... Anyway, this is why women date younger men... so that they are more sexually compatible... there's nothing else you boys are any good for..

Handsome Dick: oooooh, I'm gonna get slept with?!?!?!!!!!

Pretty Pussy: NO, just a hypothetical... cowboy blowhard.. I need no man to take care of my needs... only my whims..

Handsome Dick: heh heh.. show me... ???

Pretty Pussy: I like to look at my own pictures...really gets me off...

Handsome Dick: I bet you do... you dirty whore...

Pretty Pussy: hahahaha... not really... that's a little too weird really... now, watching yourself in a mirror that's different... that's erotic...

Handsome Dick: oh, yeah... you're a slut..

Pretty Pussy: only on Xmas...cheaper than presents... heh

Handsome Dick: you swing both ways don't you... ???

Pretty Pussy: isn't that obvious... why else would my own female body turn me on?!?! You gimpy fuck.. hahahaha

Handsome Dick: I wonder if that does work for anyone...?!?!

Pretty Pussy: Probably... but I do all that in the shower... like the suds and warm water all over my body as I'm climaxing..

Handsome Dick: really?

Pretty Pussy: yes, that I really do..

Handsome Dick: Is that where you prefer sex then?

Pretty Pussy: No ...I prefer sex outside... under the stars with thunder rolling in... mmmmm thunder...

Handsome Dick: hahahaha... thunder slut

Pretty Pussy: again...it's erotic

Handsome Dick: ooooh, playboy has a new feature....Women of Walmart... hahahaha

Pretty Pussy: Oh, my god... that is a scary thought...

Handsome Dick: No, no not cutomers... employees

Pretty Pussy: Have you seen the average employee of Walmart?!?!?????

Handsome Dick: Hahahaha...Walmart is mad too...

Pretty Pussy: So am I, damn it... ewwwww, what a waste of sticky pages!

Handsome Dick: Haha...customers would be old ladies with missing teeth... blehck!!!

Pretty Pussy: Now, a Hooters feature...that's a damn good idea... Walmart, fuck no... that's just nasty!

Handsome Dick: Heh...they should do an issue of carnies...

Pretty Pussy: Ahhhhg! You're a sick man!

Handsome Dick: Hahaha...I'd nominate your pictures!!

Pretty Pussy: You dumbass friggin' butt nazi....

Handsome Dick: Butt Nazi???

Pretty Pussy: Yes, you've been awarded this years Butt Nazi Demon Award...and a trip to your nearest prison's death row, in order to grant any and all final wishes of said inmates!

Handsome Dick: Yay...is that anything like the tooth fairy?!???

Pretty Pussy: You'll be clenching your teeth...a bit of grinding...

Handsome Dick: hahaha...so I'm whacking off now... can I cum on your face?

Pretty Pussy: uhhh... hello... perv!????

Handsome Dick: ..that was the biggest cum shot ever...

Pretty Pussy: Could it have taken you any longer?! Fucking snail...

Handsome Dick: If I were a snail, you'd be the shell, riding my fucking ass!!

Pretty Pussy: I don't ride ass...You're the dairy fairy.. I luuuuuuuuuv the ladies...

Handsome Dick: mmmmmm, chicken of the sea... not like I'm going to catch any with you out there stealing them from me! You fucking whore! I should have priority I'm a man god damn it!

Pretty Pussy: Haha... whatever.. what? because you have a handsome dick?!

Handsome Dick: Which do you like better???

Pretty Pussy: penis vs. vagina... hmmmmm that's a hard one... Gotta be the penis... the pussy is just for fun..

Handsome Dick: girlie sex, what's that? Just poking your hands in eachother and calling it a night?!?!?!

Pretty Pussy: crap bastard... you know nothing...

Handsome Dick: ok...make out session..NOW

Pretty Pussy: I'm busy...

Handsome Dick: I said now?

Pretty Pussy: ahhhg...get a good grip...you'll wake up tomorrow, the sun will come out and with it your wood...

Handsome Dick: huh?

Pretty Pussy: You mean it just goes waste?

Handsome Dick: I don't wanna have to touch myself...

Pretty Pussy: mmmmmm... I like it... though I'm not blessed with a morning jump start like you...

Handsome Dick: what?

Pretty Pussy: I want it all, everyday... start my own engine...pick up my mechanic... get tuned up properly..

Handsome Dick: awwwwww...you have a mechanic?!

Pretty Pussy: yup...he's a profeesional detailer too... heh heh

Handsome Dick: I don't have a mechanic... ..::deep sigh::..

Pretty Pussy: Hahaha...you're the mechanic silly... what you need is an apprentice...

Handsome Dick: an apprentice???

Pretty Pussy: yeah...someone to work under you... heh

Handsome Dick: Hahaha...you can come work for me... I need a hair cut..

Pretty Pussy: I'd give you a mohawk...No, no... pigtail spikes...

Handsome Dick: what are those...

Pretty Pussy: like horns... everything else shaved off

Handsome Dick: why not shaved?

Pretty Pussy: Heheheheee... I would shave it all off and give you a tattoo of a turtle to wax...

Handsome Dick: seriously... how could I make shaved work for me? (without the tattoo to wax) ahhhck!

Pretty Pussy: no...for you a tussled look my dear... just below the tips of your ears... mmmmmmm that'd be sexy...

Handsome Dick: tussled?

Pretty Pussy: yep.... you've got really nice eyes... that hair do would make them a focal point... Don't you watch Queer Eye For The Straight Guy????!????

Handsome Dick: uhhhh...no

Pretty Pussy: men are such morons... you could use the advice they give... hahaha... watch the show wimpy...

Handsome Dick: wimpy?

Pretty Pussy: I've stated my advice and opinion... take it or leave it...

Handsome Dick: I'll take you... make out session, NOW

Pretty Pussy: Me prende, I ne puet pas le tenir plus ..me prende maintenant..

Handsome Dick: huh? is that a yes....

Pretty Pussy: nevermind... such a boy..

Handsome Dick: come on...tell me..

Pretty Pussy: basicly it says, Mr. Mechanic better hit the gas before the engine stalls... heh heh

Handsome Dick: not a full time mechanic, just periodic oil changes...

Pretty Pussy: hmmm... YOU'RE FIRED... this rig needs constant fucking maintenance...

Handsome Dick: so...ANYWAY, why is it you wanted to wax my head again???

Pretty Pussy: sounded slippery dippery fun, eh!

Handsome Dick: did you just say that?!

Pretty Pussy: I did... My bad... SPANK ME!

Handsome Dick: and why was this waxing a stipulation?

Pretty Pussy: you'd want it shiny so that you'd have a widescreen view in the mirror of everyone laughing at you behind your back!!!!

Handsome Dick: you're so mean to me...

Pretty Pussy: awwwwww, but I wrote a song for you... !!!!

Handsome Dick: Reeeeally?!?

Pretty Pussy: Suckin donkey dick and drinkin mountain dew ridin and camel to come and claim you... wanna rip out your eyeballs and suck em clean... gonna cum on your face... gonna make you scream..

Handsome Dick: I hate you... you're a fucking asshole!

Pretty Pussy: mmmmmmm, chocolately goodness! gimme some good n plenty baby!

Handsome Dick: ..::exhausted sigh::..

THE END

[frankensteindotpdf]

All of them

FUCK I KNEW YOU WERE GONNA DO THIS CRAP AHHH

Who’s your crush/squish?

I......tend to have a couple at a time (go unreciprocation whoop whoop) anyhoo the main one is this girl who is SUPER CUTE AND HAS THE CUTEST LAUGH AND IS LOWKEY EMO AND JUST BRILLIANT TBH and fun fact she’s the one who made me realise I’m bi! annnnd there’s a guy....who I just realised I have a crush on....like yesterday....and I’m dying a little

Who’s your fictional crush/squish?

Hahahahahahaha that talks like there’s one.....Remus obviously...Tonks....Dean Winchester...Jughead .....Rapunzel.....Duke Crocker from Haven (holy crap bro).....I used to have a crush on Klaus Baudelaire and also Yo-Yoji (shut up Carina)..... massive squish on Sherlock Holmes....and more I’m forgetting

Worst joke you’ve ever told?

Crap bro my life is full of stupid jokes I can’t choose one

Worst insult you’ve ever given?

Just really dumb ones, nothing specific

Got any weird kinks?

not any weird ones

How did you find out about sex?

No idea, probably like parents or sex ed classes? I don’t remember

Trashiest thing in your wardrobe?

Literally none? I mean I have trash like a billion HP t shirts but nothing revealing or anything

Worst Phobia?

Needles. I literally cry everytime. 

Hentai or the real thing?

Ew neither thanks

Ever been arrested?

lol i never go outside no

What are you most selfish about?

This question is worded weird....uh my..sketchbooks? maybe? like I don’t really get the q but I never let anyone draw in my sketchbooks so ig that counts?

Who would you let die if given the chance to save them?

Myself

Who would you sacrifice yourself for?

Anyone

Something silly you believed as a kid?

Well I didn’t think “washcloth” was a real term, for some reason (I have literally no idea why) I thought it was just a word my family used but they were really called something else. I mean washcloth is so... on the nose

Weirdest/most embarassing thing you’ve drawn?

I once.....drew a picture....of my crush.....with a stupid nickname above it....and little hearts....and little pics of the stuff he liked.... UGH I CRINGE JUST THINKING ABOUT IT I WAS IN GRADE 2 DONT JUDGE ME

Controversial role models?

I can’t think of any? 

Cringiest fandom you’ve been in?

for like A MONTH I was into... Justin Bieber.

Cringiest thing you’ve shipped?

Trans Gilderoy Lockhart and Snape

Ever had “an accident” in public?

I mean when I was real little I did once after school but like no one was there besides my family so it wasn’t a big deal

What helps you fall asleep?

Honestly watching Bob Ross. He’s just so soothing

What childish things do you still do?

I dunno man...Lots I just can’t think of anything specific

What’s your age?

A HEATHERS SONG AND THE YEAR A WIZARD COMES OF AGE

Grossest thing you’ve eaten?

Some people would say crickets (they tasted great though) I would personally say (not eating but) gargling salt water. I literally threw up. Thanks, father.

Honest opinion on religion?

I definitely like the idea and totally respect other’s beliefs, but I’m still working it out. I mean I know mine pretty darn well but the more I learn the more it just sounds really convienient idk

What does your laugh sound like?

From being told to shut up so much it’s changed a lot....It’s kinda squeaky but mostly silent? I’m a bit self concious about it tbh

How would you describe your smile?

stupid. it scrunches up my face all wrong and makes me look even fatter than I already do

Did you go through any regrettable phases?

“Liking” music everyone else liked to fit in

Ever dropped plans/projects and not said a word?

Not one-on-one stuff (though social anxiety makes me want to every time) but like I guess? nothing noteworthy

Intovert/Extrovert?

INTROVERT

Personality Type?

INFP

Ugliest thing in your wardrobe?

I have this nightgown that I never wear that looks like something out of an 1800s movie...floral pattern and all

Would you wear pajama’s in public?

If I was with friends who were 

Weirdest thing that turned you on?

uhhhh I have no idea 

Pineapples on pizza????

hecc yes

Do you use the XD emoticon?

Only in an ironic way

Do you have a dark sense of humour?

yup

Worst thing you ship?

Ms. Frizzle and Brendon Urie

Top or bottom?

Oh I cant believe I’m answering this on the internet gosh well from my personality I’d say...bottom 

Top or bottom bunk?

Also bottom because I feel like I’ll fall off or break the top bunk

Pettiest thing you’ve cried over?

Dude I cry over everything...My sister said she’d rip one of my books

Pettiest thing you’ve gotten mad over?

Bro again like I usually get upset at myself rather than mad at other people but like at my family basically everything?

Longest time you’ve cried?

lol well multiple times I’ve cried for a few hours straight, I cried through an entire movie once (I’m not evenexaggerating I had to pause it because I was sobbing too hard literally 5 times)

Do you touch the art in museums?

NO THAT CAN WRECK IT AND I COULD GET IN TROUBLE

Do you have a fandom OC?

Kinda? I mean just self-inserts tbh

How much do you believe in astrology?

not at all

Have you ever used a base for drawing?

I mean I’ve copied them down but not traced

Have you ever used MSPaint for drawing non-ironically?

yup. there was a time when I had a laptop and sucked at drawing so when I got bored I’d draw on MSPaint

Controversial opinion?

I’m a feminist and I think everyone should be

Ass or chest?

I hate answering this I’m just gonna do it quickly and get it over with female ass, male chest

Chest or genitals?

chest

Genitals or ass?

I HATE THESE I HAVE NO IDEA OK

Any scars?

Yup. I have one on my arm from burning myself while baking in grade 8, and two others on the inside (of the same arm haha) that are from somehow managing to hit my arm off a staple sticking out of an old recliner

Do you pirate anything?

Only music for animatics, but even then only songs I’ve already bought but cant transfer. I don’t see the point. The artists I like I don’t just like for their music (or movies or whatever), I like them as people too. I want to thank them for making such awesome stuff, so a little donation is totally reasonable to me

url for an old cringy social media account?

I mean this one? I wasnt allowed to have social media when I was younger so yay none of that

Any post’s you’ve deleted and why?

Only ones I accidentally reblogged onto my art blog, but I always reblog them onto my main first

How long does it take you to get up in the morning?

depends. if I have nothing to do, hours. If I have school, anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour (I set my alarm real early)

What will instantly turn you on?

idk man nothing really...someone being good with kids is always sweet tho

Fave eye+hair colour combination?

Nothing specific, I like basically all colours?

Have you already named your future children?

If I have any they will be named after someone in one of my billions of fandoms (probably someone from hp)

Do you do drugs?

Just Ibuprofen amirite lol even then I am in pain way more than I take it I hate swallowing pills

How tall are you?

about 5′5 or 5′6

Did you go through a “RANDOM XD” phase?

yup

Dumbest thing you believed?

No idea, probably something from when I was little but idk

Dildo of choice? (besides an actual dildo)

boi i’m not even coming near this question (get it?)

Daddy kink?

I mean I find it hot when some people say it? but not really

Who could change your sexuality just by looking at you?

I’m...bi....so like.....no one? I’m confused mate there’s no way to answer this question

Bara/Yaoi/Shota?

none tbh i dont even know what 2/3 of those mean

What area’s of your body are most sensitive?

besides the obvious my knees, stomach, back, neck....okay everything I just hate people touching me thanks oh and my feet oh gosh I got a pedicure once and it was the worst experience of my life

Weirdest dream you’ve had?

A bunch man, once I had a dream where Peeta was transformed by the Capitol or smth to look like one of my friends and he was also heavily drugged and at my school for some reason and I was trying to help him get to safety....I had a dream where my family and I lived in a trailer park and our neighbour had a big dog that attacked my little brother, first by biting and then picking up a stick with its paws and beating him with it....one where my friend tried to touch my stomach and i panicked, punched him in the face, and then had a panic attack because I felt so bad

THANK GOSH THAT’S OVER