#uhh very much idk
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my mains in ranked matches C:
#dont tag as ship#idv fanart!!! thats crazy!!! i should do more!!!#identity v#idv#naib subedar#victor grantz#luca balsa#idv mercenary#idv postman#idv prisoner#identity v mercenary#identity v prisoner#identity v postman#is this how u fandom tag. whao#~ art#naib subedar.fam#luca balsa.crsh#victor grantz.plat#i have a hybrid playstyle: first and foremost is being a rescuer main and the secondary depends but it could be anything#naib is my first choice all the time. i would focus on rescuing and bodyblocking as much as i can. so rescue/rescue#but i can also go rescue/support- and thats where victor is. his dog wick helps a lot with rescue believe me or not. many clutch moments#and there's rescue/decoding- but ... i think its more like decoding/rescuing. i always decode as luca because hes very fast at it.#but in emergencies i bring tide turner if rescuing presents itself nicely for luca. maybe all the other rescuer types are out of commission#-so i try to help a bit.#“jil what about knee jerk reflex or flywheel effect”#I ALWAYS FORGET TO USE THE FLYWHEEL EFFECT IM NOT USED TO ITSDJFHSJFHSJHDJS I WOULD ONLY NOTICE THE BUTTON AFTER I GET CHAIRED FGNGNFGF#knee jerk uhh... idk... doesnt really suit me LOL buuut i suppose i can try practicing it with it more. but... tide turner :pleading:#im not removing borrowed time either sooo :pleading: :pleading: HAHAH#buuut ya!!#theyre a funny trio :) luca and his antisocial friends /jj
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actually i'm still thinking about the moral orel finale.
he has a cross on his wall. do you know how much i think about that bc it's a lot.
a lot of stories ((auto)biographical or fictional) centering escape from abusive/fundamentalist christianity result in the lead characters leaving behind christianity entirely. and that makes complete sense! people often grow disillusioned with the associated systems and beliefs, and when it was something used to hurt them or something so inseparable from their abuse that they can't engage with it without hurting, it makes total sense that they would disengage entirely. and sometimes they just figure out that they don't really believe in god/a christian god/etc. a healthy deconstruction process can sometimes look like becoming an atheist or converting to another religion. it's all case by case. (note: i'm sure this happens with other religions as well, i'm just most familiar with christian versions of this phenomenon).
but in orel's case, his faith was one of the few things that actually brought him comfort and joy. he loved god, y'know? genuinely. and he felt loved by god and supported by him when he had no one else. and the abuses he faced were in how the people in his life twisted religion to control others, to run away from themselves, to shield them from others, etc. and often, orel's conflicts with how they acted out christianity come as a direct result of his purer understanding of god/jesus/whatever ("aren't we supposed to be like this/do that?" met with an adult's excuse for their own behavior or the fastest way they could think of to get orel to leave them alone (i.e. orel saying i thought we weren't supposed to lie? and clay saying uhhh it doesn't count if you're lying to yourself)). the little guy played catch with god instead of his dad, like.. his faith was real, and his love was real. and i think it's a good choice to have orel maintain something that was so important to him and such a grounding, comforting force in the midst of. All That Stuff Moralton Was Up To/Put Him Through. being all about jesus was not the problem, in orel's case.
and i know i'm mostly assuming that orel ended up in a healthier, less rigid version of christianity, but i feel like that's something that was hinted at a lot through the series, that that's the direction he'd go. when he meditates during the prayer bee and accepts stephanie's different way to communicate, incorporating elements of buddhism into his faith; when he has his I AM A CHURCH breakdown (removing himself from the institution and realizing he can be like,, the center of his own faith? taking a more individualistic approach? but Truly Going Through It at the same time), his acceptance (...sometimes) of those who are different from him and condemned by the adults of moralton (stephanie (lesbian icon stephanie my beloved), christina (who's like. just a slightly different form of fundie protestant from him), dr chosenberg (the jewish doctor from otherton in holy visage)). his track record on this isn't perfect, but it gets better as orel starts maturing and picking up on what an absolute shitfest moralton is. it's all ways of questioning the things he's been taught, and it makes sense that it would lead to a bigger questioning as he puts those pieces together more. anyway i think part of his growth is weeding out all the lost commandments of his upbringing and focusing on what faith means to him, and what he thinks it should mean. how he wants to see the world and how he wants to treat people and what he thinks is okay and right, and looking to religion for guidance in that, not as like. a way to justify hurting those he's afraid or resentful of, as his role models did.
he's coming to his own conclusions rather than obediently, unquestioningly taking in what others say. but he's still listening to pick out the parts that make sense to him. (edit/note: and it's his compassion and his faith that are the primary motivations for this questioning and revisal process, both of individual cases and, eventually, the final boss that is christianity.) it makes perfect sense as the conclusion to his character arc and it fits the overall approach of the show far better. it's good is what i'm saying.
and i think it's important to show that kind of ending, because that's a pretty common and equally valid result of deconstruction. and i think it cements the show's treatment of christianity as something that's often (and maybe even easily) exploited, but not something inherently bad. something that can be very positive, even. guys he even has a dog he's not afraid of loving anymore. he's not afraid of loving anyone more than jesus and i don't think it's because he loves this dog less than bartholomew (though he was probably far more desperate for healthy affection and companionship when he was younger). i think it's because he figures god would want him to love that dog. he's choosing to believe that god would want him to love and to be happy and to be kind. he's not afraid of loving in the wrong way do you know how cool that is he's taking back control he's taking back something he loves from his abusers im so normal
#i had a really big fundie snark phase a year or two ago so that's part of like. this. but im still not used to actually talking about#religious stuff so if it reads kinda awkwardly uhh forgive me orz idk#maybe it sounds dumb but i like that the message isn't 'religion is evil'. it easily could have been. but i think the show's points about#how fundie wasp culture in particular treats christianity and itself and others would be less poignant if they were like. and jesus sucks#btw >:] like. this feels more nuanced to me. i guess there's probably a way to maintain that nuance with an ultimately anti-christian#piece of media but i think it'd be like. wayy harder and it's difficult for me to imagine that bc i think a lot of it would bleed out into#the tone. + why focus on only These christians when They're All also bad? so you'd get jokes about them in general#and i think that's kinda less funny than orel and doughy screaming and running from catholics lsdkjfldksj#i think the specificity makes it more unique and compelling as comedy and as commentary. but that's just me#like moralton represents a very particular kind of christian community (namely a middle class fundie wasp nest)#you're not gonna be able to get in the weeds as much if you're laughing at/criticizing all christians. but they accomplish it so thoroughly#and WELL in morel and i think that's because it chose a smaller target it can get to dissect more intimately. anyway#moral orel#orel puppington#(OH also when i say wasp here i mean WASP the acronym. as in white anglo-saxon protestsant. in case the term's new to anyone <3)#maybe it's also relevant to say that i'm kindaaaaaaaa loosely vaguely nonspecifically christian. so there's my bias revealed#i was never raised like orel but i like to think i get some of what's going on in there y'know. in that big autistic head of his#but it's not like i can't handle anti-christian/anti-religious media/takes. i'm a big boy and also i v much get why it's out there yknow#christianity in specific has a lot of blood on its hands from its own members and from outsiders and people have a right to hate it for tha#but religion in all its forms can be positive and i appreciate the nuance. like i've said around 20 times. yeah :) <3#(<- fighting for my life to explain things even though my one job is to be the explainer)
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I can think of a lot of reasons why I like and have gotten attached to tsukasa more than any other fictional character and i think if i had to keep it simple (or else id be rambling for hours) id say
1. He’s so interesting. I usually pick up the extremely mischaracterized blonde characters anyways but he gets my brain working real hard. its almost 2am and i cant think straight but theres something about his duality that keeps me glued to him and the amount of Layers he has and how removing even one layer or completely ignoring how both his huge ego and kindness + selflessness coexist can really mess up your perception of him. There was something quite short i wrote about how both sides make him. Well. Him. back when his colofes dropped since i was so annoyed at the people Not getting it (while most never even read the STORIES 😁) anf ive been screaming this for a year now Please. Also the way his dream and being a good big brother go hand in hand have captured me. I really like fictional siblings and they fill something personal i miss and Looove looking at the roots of characters. Discovering where this and that and connecting events to what started their behaviors or helped their personality bloom. So seeing saki and toya play such an important role in his life keeps me HOOOKEDDD. I took the bait like tiny fish. Dont regret it. Never will. I like my fictional characters like layered cake. Thats basically how i see them. I had a yummy chocolate cake with so mant layers the other day 🤤 but anyways. I also really like when characters have to learn and grow as people after making really bad mistakes or being straight up assholes so it really took a while even after mainstory but once i got to see more of him with saki and read dazzling i was like. This is the guyyy. Youre mine now lets go. I dont like perfect characters but.. you see.. when characters who have (sometimes way too much) confidence and are dramatic yet are shown to truly be good people who enjoy making others happy… alright.. now im listening… Sign me up…
But really he has almost everything I’ve ever looked for in a character. Starting with the fact that he’s a theatre kid. And blonde. Of course emu nene and rui + more fictional characters have made their way into my heart and ive gotten attached to them on very Very personal levels but when it comes to this Idiot who wants to be a star and reminds me of a dog its something that i dont even know how to explain sometimes. Why is he here? What are you doing inside of my head. Ill never have one solid answer because he takes up too much space in my mind and i become incoherent too often when talking about him.
2. Ignoring my first answer, He is ugly. My favorite punching bag. Cartoon character. Begins floating when he smells pie. I dont know anymore
3. he just like me fr (Which is terrible i dont like that)
#if any part of this doesnt make sense or isnt rightpleass correct me#This is what i mean by tsukasa makes me lose my mind#I really cannot think straight when it comes to this show freak#3. Is more of a complicated thing. I dont Actually hate relating to him im joking but uhh#idk how to explain this i mean theres still a Lot that makes us very VERY different uhh#i think sometimes its just a little bit of annoyance like Why him. Why is it always the egotistical blonde ones#also i wouldnt say relating to him as much as i do right now is that bad (although i am much more self aware than him so. Yeah sometimes#I get annoyed with myself as well) i think its just the way ive been treated like i AM him before because of how much i do#Like guys. Come on now i get seeing people as their pfps or fav characters but thats a bit much#And theres plenty of other characters i relate to#Anyways ignoring rant in tags#I need to sleep. Right now. I cant believe i stayed up just to talk about little freak Tsukasa Tenma#ramble#rant#might delete later#tsukasa tenma#tenma tsukasa#wxs tsukasa#pjsk#prsk#project sekai#idk what im yapping about#yapping#tsukasa pjsk#tsukasa#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#shouldve kept this in drafts AAHH!!!!!
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Fleki x Marcille
I dub thee flekille Fourth entry of my “Dunmeshi rarepairs I will birth with my own hands if I have to” series. This one goes really well alongside laicion
Hear me out… Probably one of my most crackpair simply because they never really interact in canon, but it snowballed from me thinking about laicion so many months ago and I genuinely enjoy them a lot on their own now too.
Overview of the appeal: Silly prep girl that tries to not be silly x silly troublemaker that is silly on purpose. Could have been cellmates in another life 😍 /j It’s chaos x order, it’s propriety x will tease you specifically to make you uncomfortable, it’s Fleki sticking around Marcille when she gets the opportunity to because she thinks she’s entertaining, it’s her dragging Marcille to a shitty club that would give anyone epileptic a seizure and Marcille being so out of her depth but finding the thrill intriguing… It’s Fleki’s YOLO attitude rubbing on Marcille a bit, encouraging her to stress less and live more, it’s Marcille looking out for Fleki and teaching her to value her health, her friends and stability in life more. It’s banter, where Fleki is bold and amused and Marcille is panicked and horrified, which as they grow to know each other becomes Fleki teasing and Marcille responds with exasperated but fond comebacks. They have big yuri manga with a bad boy girl vibes, they deserve 50k slow burn rivals to lovers fics exploring the deepest emotional lows imaginable, they deserve cute funny bantery ficlets where they try out rollerskating together and Fleki skates face first into a pole and Marcille heals her up. ALSO it’s the mage who always talks about the importance of hair and braids hers neatly x the mage who keeps her hair long but at MOST brushes it every 3 days and looks feral
We see that Fleki looooves casual physical contact which I think suits Marcille well! Since she’s also big on casual & affectionate physical touches. Oversimplifying it, I kinda see Fleki as a more chaotic and less grumpy Izutsumi, which I think pairs really well with Marcille.
Ok, so the meme + below is my romantic flekille & laicion, qpr laimar & flekion vision… Maybe romantic laimar and flekion too idfc. Fleki’s bestie Lycion and Lycion’s boyfriend Laios and Laios’ girlfriend Marcille and Marcille’s girlfriend Fleki… A bond forged by the shared experience of having a feral partner. In my timeline they start hanging out because laicion starts dating and it goes from there, like they keep showing up at the other’s place to come pick their guy up or when laicion meet up in town at an agreed location both come with their bestie so then as Laios and Lycion head off the girlies just stand there awkwardly for a sec together… And it becomes habit enough that they start talking. One time one arrives early at the other’s place to pick up their dog guy so while she waits on Laios and Lycion being done hanging out they just chat and hit it off around the kitchen table. Eventually maybe they all live together, the girls have a qpr situationship with their respective dog boy too and they all snuggle up together on the couch and life is good… I have a couple of other flekille au ideas though.
The one college au I would EAT UP FR. Anything modern for them is so fun for some reason. They could even have a like… y’know ‘that yuri manga where the prep girl thinks the emo girl’s a boy and she’s interested’ thing (googling it The guy she was interested in wasn’t a guy at all is the name), they feel like they’d have that energy… Except that instead of Fleki being dressed all cool she’s dressed in Minions merch or something. Puke colored tie dye. Marcille cringes but also smth about the cringefail allure has her enraptured (jk it’s mostly Fleki being determinedly clingy) Like come on imagine Fleki with the alpaca trampoline hand tattoo, Marcille would be so endeared. They have the vibes ever, I wanna see them hang out and with Lycion and Laios too
Marcille, seeing this disheveled absolute rascal: … I can fix her.
I made a reblog post that goes into Fleki’s drug addiction a lil for the topic of the ship just so it’s easily avoidable if it’s an uncomfortable topic to some, I don’t go into the details though, just on how it might affect their relationship
#This series is baaack I’ve procrastinated for so long but obscure pairings are so fun to ramble about when you find The Angle#Dunmeshi rarepairs#Rarepair spotlight#Flekille#Fleki#marcille donato#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#Next up are flamela pattadol and toshimari and uhh i don’t remember who else. I have so much on my plate… Keeping the Toshiro stuff#For after i make a masterpost about his family though#Dunmeshi memes#Marcille x fleki#fleki x marcille#Idk i’ll write for them one day but I def wanna draw them hanging out at the very least#Laios is probably more the shrieks and skitters one tbh… Debate#they’re just conceptually really fun sue me
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Okay, this was long overdue tbh 😔🙏(N Lore (?) Under the cut!)
I've been meaning to make N a new ref for a bit, so here we are! Since she's my skele-sona I kinda want to do a quick rundown on her design elements for fun, then her in-universe lore!
(Note: I refer to her a lot with she/her, she is technically a she/they/he/it genderfluid kinda girly, but I made her before gender tomfoolery registered in my brain so I default to 'she/her' out of habit-)
Design:
Her Halo/Crescent/Horns were initially inspired by wanting her to have metaphorical horns instead of slapping points onto her skull. She's also a shape-shifter, so her human form uses the crescent like a hair clip! Also based on the moon a bit.
The wings/tail are things I ended up w/ in the long run. The wings used to be optional + usually based on specific birds, and the tail was thicker w/ an end piece that looked like a fountain pen tip, but the long windy one abd the black wings were more fun to draw/animate!
Virgin Killer sweater used to be a Grey sleeveless turtleneck, but I just like the aesthetics here better.
Arm Gloves/Leg Socks are half because I hate drawing arm bones, abd half because I thought it brought more dynamic shapes into the design! Also... kibty... (inspired by gloves/socks I own)
Pants: She's always worn snow-pants in her design, and they used to have hanging suspenders, but I removed them. Why they're amarica colored I couldn't tell you... I just like the color combo 😔
Cracks on her face: The forehead crack is inspired by when I tripped and smacked my forehead onto a stair corner as a kid (blacked out, don't remember the hospital trip that followed?). Chin crack inspo is a random scar I have on my chin!
Color on Bones: I actually just added this, but my skin gets blotchy when I'm nervous or embarrassed, and I like the visual that N's magic does that to her Often lol. So! It's like blush! (It's also on her collarbone but you can't normally see it, haha-)
Blue + Purple: I actually don't have symbolism here. Just that I had another oc (B) who was my *other* skelesona insert oc, and *her* colors were blue and purple. N used to have white eyelights I think? Silver? But N and B traded off some traits in a point where I tried to combine them, and the result was this current version of N! Actually...
Old Art jumpscare...
So, I stole the pattern from her jacket and put it kn her pants, stole the crack in B's forehead and gave it to N, her Halo kept tilting further left, and I revoked shoe privileges?? Idk man, it's been a wild ride.
Oh! Her hands *do* still have holes in them too.
Lore:
N is less like Me and more like a bossy little minion I custom-made to go harass my ocs. She exists anywhere, anytime, and is only restricted my universal laws if it makes a situation more interesting. Very much a mary-sue. Meant to play almost a 'narrator' role!
She has beef specifically with Ichor (because I put hin thru so so much in the early days-) and is very chill with Phishbone and Pretender. She loves to chill in different aus with different people, but she adores just being obnoxious to my ocs specifically. Objectively, *not* a good person 🙏
And yeah. She looks different in has new clothes everytimr I draw her, but this is a good basic design base!
#utmv#utmv oc#oc#my art#spot!drawn#N#skelesona#ref#N is awful#also this is canon -> hella flat-chested#fairly broad ribcage that sometimes looks like a chest from the front but there's nothing but bone---#please ignore if I do ever draw her w/ that stupid bump from a side view lmao#no magic cleavage here 🙏#I also revoked her eyelash privileges#idk when they disappeared but I'm glad they did hehe-#that yraditional piece I did made me want to do a quick ref for her. only like 45 minutes total!#OH#and everuone ignore my horrid handwriting on B's ref. she uhh. she's beloved#but also very much been placed into my pile of retired ocs unless I get inspired <3#okay that's all!#(ignore that N doesn't match my profile header-)
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REIKOOO MY BELOVEDDD
sorry I just really adore reiko so I drew this like two weeks ago on the Monday I got off from work right before doing taxes 🤧 so her eyes were rushed and I struggled lots with her feet and getas and skirt bcuz I couldn't find the right positioning and fabric texture and angles and I refused to look for references cuz I'm lazy but I think it ended up turning out really good she's so like rounded and tiny and squishy I love her so much she's like my favorite Tori drawing I've drawn so far ahhh also I did something new with her hair (and eyes but that's cuz I was rushing) like I made the hair more detailed and stuff and I like how it ended up looking Idk if I'll use it more often tho. ANYWAYSSS FEAST UR EYES ON THE GIRL FAILURE EVERRR
#ruchans art#is that my art tag i dont even remember#can u tell i love her sm like#idk what it was but somehow the art gods possessed me cuz i love the way i drew her#esp the like chubby rounded knees and legs and hands and arms likeher body is exactly how i wanted it to look#exactly how i envisioned i wanted my art and style to turn out yk#and her face too its the perfect mix of strawberry shortcake and uhh#and power puff girls#its like very chibi esque but still anime and realistic with the body proportions im so satisfied with how it turned out ughhh#i hope everyone loves her as much as i do 🥺#toritsuka reita#reita toritsuka#saiki kusuo no ψ nan#saiki k#saiki no psi nan#saiki kusuo no psi nan#the disastrous life of saiki k#saiki fanart#saiki k fanart#saiki kusou no psi nan#toritsuka#Toritsuka reiko#reiko toritsuka#genderbent toritsuka reita#genderbent toritsuka#fem toritsuka reita#fem toritsuka#idk what else to tag u can take this as genderbent trans crossdressing whatever tori is everything and anything u want em to be
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that article is great and full of gems but it is hilarious that it's the METRO lol...
#dan and phil#dan howell#phan#etc etc#metro has never been as bad as the daily mail or sun ofc#but it's still kinda Trashy imo#its the paper u used to see on trains (idk if they do that as much now?)#and i'd always have a flick through and laugh at some of the more ridiculous/sensationalist kinda stuff lol#i have a very vivid memory of reading an article about la roux (the singer) in it ages ago tho which was rly interesting#she was like talking about burnout and issues w/ her voice and wanting to go a new direction in music#i have no idea why it stuck with me i literally only know 2 of her songs pfft#uhh anyway#idk why im making this post but we're here now cant turn back
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what if they gave you the actual arcphone instead of just a case
ADFFSHDHNXJSBDJSBJSBDBDJSNSNBGJ
#WAR FLASHBACKS… it honestly felt like a mockery of my pain to just run into bonsly right away in violet after how long it evaded me in pla#LSFSGHDBDJBSJDB if they’re gonna make the ‘pAsT LiFe’ claim they should commit to it#naw but i’ve already decided my characters from both games have very different personalities#my pla girl is just akari pretty much like how i imagine akari in canon to be only i’ve given her a new hairdo and outfit#my violet girl is just like ummm ok. i’m here to do and say what i want; no more no less. i’m cuter than you uh i mean uhh#it would be SO funny if you just. actually randomly got a text from arceus like in pla in this game instead#like hello????#this seems like a much less religious society too#as opposed to the people of hisui#arceus also misremembering akari’s name is soooo funny given that she was its chosen favorite#asks#vivi-mire#pokémon#sv spoilers#legends arceus#goldie’s pokémon violet liveblog#you make my character look so cute i already changed her hair though lol#i went to the hairstylist and saw something that would make me look more like my pla character#idk if it suits me though tbh i only committed because i thought i’d already paid upon entering like you have to in pla#kinda wanna change it back already and get my hat back on i like the bob
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Okay so ik it's a common thing for Dick to be triggered by fire and for it to be really upsetting to him for obvious reasons (esp since this is supported in canon). But I think it's equally fun if, bc of that trauma, Dick ends up developing a fascination with fire that he hates himself for
#felix (host)#dick grayson#dc comics#dc#...pyromania? idk i hesitate to say that bc idk much abt it#well i do. i do my research. but I'm very tired and don't wanna sound stupid fhchvhv#but anyways you get what i mean#bonus points if fire still upsets Dick but he's still morbidly fascinated by it#thinking about how Jason constantly blows shit up. along those lines basically LOL#actually how many times has Dick set shit on fire?#ive seen a handful of different times he has i think#but I'm very tired so i can't list them rn#besides uhh. Ric trying to burn the Nightwing suits#but yeah i think it'd be fun if Dick struggled with that <3#i love conflicting emotions in characters sm#idk I'm not sure if this makes sense or is in character#but I'm having fun so who cares
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heres a drawing okay bye tumblr
#scribbles#bfdi#tpot#bfdi pillow#havent been drawing much outside of artfight stuff but uhh yeah heres this#idk#felt like i might as well post Something#my internet is Still very much fucked up so. lol
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yall i got my first ever 'update when' comment today whats up. am i part of the cool kids club now
#talk tag#they were a guest so idk if they follow me here but if so uhh. im sure the intent was good and im not like. mad at all#but as a general rule its considered kind of rude to say that kinda stuff? just. for future reference#again. not mad if anything its almost a badge of honor lajfkldjsklfjds but just to keep in mind in future comments to ppl in general#also for the record...... cmh is very much not abandoned i have just been really fucking stuck on the next chapter#im working on it ok. its getting there. we will get there when we get there hope this helps#(ideally soon but i dont. wanna make promises idk if i can keep alfjdlksjfkdls)#. u know i will also say. my opinion on comments like that is probably . kinda weird#because like i very much dont love the phrasing Duh Obviously#+ nobody is *entitled* to updates im literally doing this for fun#but it is still also nice to know ppl still look forward to updates#and havent like. forgotten abt a fic just bc its been a while since i updated it#even though i think that commenter was a new reader that binged the whole thing but still#like. phrasing could be better but the intent Does actually make me kinda happy
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wip thing...
of my bg3 avatar hellebore. i also did some casual nude studies of my 3 characters which i'll put under a cut... rather unlike me after all. (so WARNING for abrupt non-sexual full Artistic nudity lol...,,,,) (< won't be making a habit of this)
they mean the world to me
#bg3 spoilers#?? idk. gith look so..Emaciated. And long. i guess we don't eat on the astral plane :) anyway..well..too much to say.....#it is very very very depressing having to live in the Real World after that final playthrough meant so very much to me.#i normally feel Hope & suchlike after finishing a highly immersive emotional game..but it's too hard this time and it hurtsssss lol yippee#i appreciate bg3 very much for being a place where i could access the concept of nudity & such like in a way that finally felt comfortable.#bodies are inherently non-sexual. they just Are a Fact of Life. this game being NORMAL about nudity from the character creation screen#makes it possible for someone like me to actually have a chance at accessing sensuality in a way that feels comfortable from there.#dont feel like putting it into words further. im ace. just very grateful to this game. even despite the horrors i will never ever forget it#augoh..gugf.. want to go back. my friends & love are in there.....i'm supposed to just move on? in the real world??? THIS place???? UHH????#my characters canonically look like that too!! i see them as intersex and not so much trans. They just look that way.#Diversity win!!! the people who enacted horrors upon you and are trying to kill you again respect your pronouns!!!! <3#I FAILED HONOUR MODE IN THE STUPIDEST WAY POSSIBLE..ACCIDENTALLY TOUCHED AN ITEM. MY LOVER TOUCHED SOME BLOOD-TOUCHED RAG ITEM @ THE CRECHE#AND MY PEOPLE MASSACRED US... YOU BELOVED PRAT. OF COURSE IT WOULD BE YOU AND IN THIS WAY#grateful for love triangle chaos...INTENSE EX DRAMA... IT HAD MAJOR REPURCUSSIONS THIS TIME...ohh so very much happened ohh my dear#truly don't know how to face the Real World now for real. I Don't Know. something has snapped. ive realised twt just makes me feel sad lol#if something in my spare time isn't at least half as fun as bg3....like.. it's not good enough. god we only have one wild and precious life#being Online makes me feel a loneliness so wretched and painful and horrible i really don't think this is the answer.#Why did you even start drawing in the first place? Why did you start this?#For real..the need to work this out and decide what on earth i'm going to do now has presented itself. Why try to get better..why be online#someone who has an imagination that can keep them so happy and fulfilled...has no business also feeling a loneliness as profound as this.#why was someone THIS introverted and withdrawn and anxious also cursed with such a restlessness?#What are you going to DO now? because hellebore and their lover are fine....... So what about you...?#hellebore..😭😭 AUUGHH!! I JUST WANT TO GO TO MY BED IN THE INN...PLAY ON MY VIOLIN THAT'S WHAT I'D DO!!!! i'd drink some ALE DAMNIT!!!!!#i was rereading My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness- the only time i've seen this level of emotional isolation depicted-and was grateful.#but then i read her latest book and now she has a debilitating substance abuse situation and it's upsetting.#I hope she finds what she was looking for. I hope we all make it. kind of wild that i dont do such major self-sabotage at this point myself#I truly think anyone who manages to find dear friends and achieve fulfillment and happiness with others outside themselves are amazing.#I see it happen from my tower. i hope we all make it. I hope we can make it through everything to come.#Why did i say all this on drawings of my characters naked. ah who even cares any more......
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Madara edit/amv to Don't Start Now by Dua Lipa <3
#madara#very much implied#hashimada#:D#it's the best edit you've ever seen#uhh idk if I put it in the same tag as the non video edits.. whatever#myedit50#it stops a bit abruptly but we can live with that#edit#amv#myvideo50
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Hi hi, go read @ingo-ingoing-ingone's newest fic Fear Not the Descent I love it so much.
#submas#pkmn#art#art for fic#i meant to go to bed but CAVE imagery would not leave my head#its 6:21 am as im scheduling this i will very much be asleep when this posts lmao#time taken: uhh idk an hour?
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genuinely thrown by all of this. is drag an inherently binaristic artform? what knowledge do we have of chappell’s own gender to confidently make the call that her methods of engaging w/ drag culture only “count” if she dresses as a drag king?
chappell has publicly expressed that she is doing drag (or attempting to, apparently-ymmv) and this conversation does seem to enforce the idea that when (presumed!) women do drag, their efforts are subjected to greater scrutiny by others in the community because why do multiple aesthetic hallmarks of drag amount to “drag inspiration” on chappell when they would most likely be accepted as drag on a gay man? not being facetious here, i truly don’t understand
#these are radfems btw but i’ve seen identical takes from others in the community#am i wrong to say her more exaggerated looks are basically indistinguishable from drag#that in fact the sole distinction is (again-presumably!) her being a woman#is drag a vehicle of gender exploration & discovery for all or just gay men?#idk i’ll be honest as a lesbian i’ve avoided drag for years#makes my imposter syndrome start acting up like crazy ♥️#thinking about when chappell said drag has allowed her to finally FEEL queer/feel like a part of the community#& how much that resonated as someone who has always kind of existed on the fringes of it#it’s only very recently that i’ve allowed myself to consume drag for my own enjoyment and these kinds of conversations uhh#make me want to take another step back lol
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damn why did i stop being an alcoholic being drunk rules actually i dont feel a single OUNCE of my burdens. i just feel the wine. and its pink.
#this post is mostly a joke OBVIOUSLY i dont wanrt to be a True Alcoholic again#ive been sober#(in the definition that i dont consider myself addicted - not in the definition of complete abstinence)#since 2018. and its been very good for me obviously#but damn i gotta remember that alcohol exists and i have some if i ever truly need to unwind#bc like. yk. i have a lot of trouble unwinding#i used to have this uhh#one of my grandmothers brothers. idk the word.#he always said that the world was so bright and loud and sharp. except for when he drank.#dgmw. i do think autism runs on my dads side#(and thats cool!! bc it proves autism isnt just a white thing!!!!! something thats unfortunately a popular belief :/)#but i think there was def a genetic susceptibility to it on my moms side too#like ofc i was going to be autistic!! look at my family!!!#which is interesting bc as far as anyone can tell my only biological sibling isnt autistic#i have two Additional siblings but thats a longer story. but i love them both just as much as my biological sib#i love having lots of siblings by choice#so many of my younger friends have said im like an older brother they need#and i love that tbh. i love that i get to be something i desperately needed when i was a terrified teenager#n e ways. if u read this far thank you its just wine drunk ramblings.#WHO want to run in the forest naked with me
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