#uh oh the swifties won’t like this one | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

taintedcigs · 1 year ago

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His touch was gentle, his lips were soft and he was so desperate to feel you against him – you were just as desperate and the kiss just showed how much you still love him, how much you still want him, how much you crave him even after everything that happened between you both. But, not even the passion of the kiss could erase the things he had done to you.

SCREAMING CRYING PERFECT STORRRMRMMMSSS.

DAMN READER FEELS SO GUILTY EDDIEEEE PLS UNDERSTAND HER ONCE U FIND OUT PLSSS.

my mind is so confused already bc i want them both so badly. like i can't pick. im sawrryyyyy

“I-I wasn’t – I wasn’t thinking about how much I would hurt you again a-and, I-I just wanted, no, needed to kiss you again. I messed up, I was a selfish prick. And I promise, it won’t happen again if you don’t want it.” He is pleading with his eyes as he looks down at you, “I loved every second of it b-but I shouldn’t have done it. I-I just, please forgive me, dolly.” KJSDHFKJHLLLLLLLLLLLLL IM NOT OKAY. USING, DOLLY TOO?!??

“I won’t ever do it again,” he says, even though kissing you is all he wants to do. “I just, I don’t want to lose you again.”

You don’t want to lose him again either. somebody sedate me. we ARE NOT OFF TO A GOOD START LADIES. IM ALREADY SOBBING.

OH EVERYONE IS HERE SHIT SHITTTT... (but hey!!! we love some robin and chrissy moment so IM NOT COMPLAINING AT ALLL)

STEVE NOT HAVING ANYONE LEFT... BE STILL MY BEATING HEART. DW STEVE YOU'LL HAVE ROBIN SOON OKAY!!!

“Thanks for the call, sweetheart,” he says sarcastically, furrowing his brows with a fake smile on his lips, “I mean for thanks for letting me know that you got home safe. Oh and super nice of you to keep ignoring my calls all day too.” OHHH EDDIE IS SO SALTY LMAO. HES GONNA FLIP TF OUT ONCE HE FINDS OUT NOOOOOOO!!!

But you and Eddie are just friends, right? girlie, i have SOMETHING to tell you!

“Yeah, I can see that,” he mumbles, glancing at Steve.

Steve rolls his eyes at Eddie’s attitude. *puts on my swiftie delusional clown makeup* what the hell they are sooo in love. wtf they want each other soooo bad.

“You two will be menaces to each other.” Andy is it too delulu for me to think this is a nod off to me bc i always say they are such menaces to each other?!?!? CAN I FINALLY SAY I AM IN THE IKYLLATK UNIVERSE?!?!?! (im kidding)

“I always wanted to take your girl for a ride.” these lil idiots LMAOOO.

“Hey there, co-worker,” Steve says, unable to hold back his chuckle. She slumps back, looking very miserable before her eyes light up and she sits back up, “wait! Does that mean that you have to wear one of those sailor uniforms too?” At that, Steve groans and looks away. “Sailor uniforms?” YES YES YES. FINALLY WHAT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR. STOBIN FRIENDSHIP IS COMING. AND WE GET STEVE IN THAT DAMN UNIFORM. EDDIE IS GONNA TAKE THE PISS OUT OF HIM LMAOO

I so relate to Chrissy and Robin's nosiness my bbies are so relatable.

THE POPCORN THING?!?! EDDIES DRAMATIC ASS LMAOOOO.

UH OHHH ROBIN I KNOW U LOVE TALKING A LOT (ME TOO) BUT DON'T PLEASE DON'T- oh fuck.

Eddie feels like someone had dropped a bucket of ice cold water over him. He freezes and halts in his tracks, eyes widening as he feels his heart sinking to his stomach. “W-What?” Eddie mumbles. NOOO MY POOR BABY.

Eddie’s shoulders slump, his heart feels heavy in his chest. He feels so stupid to think that you wouldn’t do this. You could only resist him for so long. Steve Harrington still has your heart after all. WHAT THE HELL IM SO CONFLICTED IDEK WHAT TO FEEL ANYMORE? DO I SOB BC EDDIE IS SAD? DO I HAVE HOPE FOR STEVE AND R? WHAT DO I DO?!?!?!

I WILL ACCEPT MY STEVE AND ROBIN CRUMBS AMIDST ALL THE MESS THANK U!

“I would’ve told you if you picked up the fucking phone last night.” bby lets calm down pls!!

DAMN THIS EDDIE AND R ANGST IS SO SAD. I FEEL SO BAD FOR HER :(( POOR R IS GETTING FLASHBACKS >:((

YAYYY I LOVE MCDONALDS.

NOOOO EDDIE ENJOY THE FRIES AND BE HAPPY PLS.

i am team pinky on fries & milkshake. sorry andy baby. I HATE THEM :(((

Is he sick of you? Did he finally realize that you aren’t worth his time? Did he have a sudden change of heart just like Steve did when he went from loving boyfriend to awful boyfriend overnight? Did your radio silence piss him off that much? Oh r my baby:(( eddie you gotta apologize ASAP. shes rethinking her entire life SHE CARES SM ABOUT U!!!

“Get your fucking jealousy in check before you keep hurting her!” Steve yells over the harsh rain that is falling. “She is not – I-I’m not..” “Yes, you fucking are. You were fine before the movie, so I’m guessing you –” he points at Robin, who breaks eye contact right away and slumps, “told him something and I have a pretty fucking good idea of what it is!” DAMN I TOLD U THIS BEFORE BUT IM ENJOYING STEVE'S GROWTH!! HE NEEDED TO KEEP EDDIE IN CHECK AND IM GLAD IT KNOCKED SOME SENSE INTO HIM... they are literally so in love and they are also so in love with reader too

“She pushed me away when I kissed her and I think we all know why.” Eddie’s eyes widen. “Now get your ass up there and fix it,” Steve says angrily. I cannot do this anymore andy I CANNOOOOTTTTTTT

I LOVE CHRISSY AND ROBIN BEING SO RIDE AND DIE FOR READER LMAOO.

“No baby, you didn’t do anything wrong. I was just being stupid,” he sighs, not even noticing the nickname that rolled off his tongue so naturally. YEP YEP!!! U BETTER APOLOGIZE!!! ily eddie but don't be silly again (well be silly always but not like this) pls!

“Stop apologizing. Just hold me,” you mumble into his chest, “we can talk later.” I LOVE THEM SM MY LITTLE ANGEL BABY CUTIE HONEY PIESSSSS

“Yeah, I’ll stay with you.” OH MY GOD. SOMETHING HAS SHIFTED ALRIGHT... DAMN I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO FEEL ANYMORE IM A PUDDLE OF EMOTIONS LYING ON THE GROUND.

this was an EMOTIONAL ROLELRCOASTER. IDEK WHAT TO FEEL ANYMORE. WHAT DO I DO? DO I JUST GO ON WITH MY LIFE??? HOW;?? HOW ANDY??? god. ANOTHER beautiful chapter. this series is amazing AS ALWAYS. so good. im so impressed by everything u do i could ramble on forever. BUT I HAVE TO SLEEP. just know that ily and i love this series. and now i will not be speaking until further notice WTAFFFFF.

I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss | part 20

Warnings: angst, kinda mean!Eddie, mentions of an ED, fluff at the end

Pairings: Steve Harrington x fem!reader, Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Summary: Tension arises between you and Eddie when Steve steps back into your life.

Word count: 8k+

A/N: If there's any typos or mistakes, you didn't see them! @hellfire--cult thanks for feeding me ideas, I'm blessed to have you

series masterlist

You can’t explain the awful feeling in your stomach or the suffocating feeling in your chest.

You have trouble understanding why it all feels so wrong when it’s all you have dreamed of for so long. Steve kissed you in a way he had never kissed you before, not even when you had just started dating did he kiss you with so much passion and love the way he did last night.

The moment it all caught up to you, the moment something else came to your mind, you pushed him away and you ran, you ran away from him and now you feel guilty for it but you couldn’t stay, you couldn’t stick around any longer.

You found Robin and Chrissy, blabbering out what happened to you before you begged them to take you home.

Now, you are laying in your bed, staring up at the white ceiling. You’re glad that you haven’t had much alcohol last night. The sharp pain in your lower stomach is already bad enough, you wouldn’t want to deal with both a headache and the awful cramps.

You don’t know how, but you manage to drag yourself out of the comfort of your bed. When the pain in your stomach gets sharper, you suddenly regret the plans that you had made with your friends for today.

Your heart leaps to your throat when your phone starts ringing. You don’t bother to hurry down the stairs to pick it up. You know who it is but you aren’t ready to talk to him.

Eddie had done nothing wrong, he had never done anything wrong.

But the thought of talking to him or even facing him fills you with an awful feeling, one that you can’t describe. You know you can’t run from it, you had made plans with Robin, Chrissy and Eddie.

You let the phone ring and disappear into the bathroom, you close the door and drown out the voice of the shrill sound.

You hope that a hot shower will help you get rid of that sickening feeling but your mind can’t rest and every time you think back to that kiss, you feel that immense guilt. Why? You wanted it, you wanted it just as much as he did.

Steve is single and so are you, there is not a reason for you to feel guilty about something that you had wanted for so long.

Or, maybe you feel guilty for doing this to yourself… again. Because why are you letting him back in? Why are you giving him the chance to hurt you again?

It doesn’t matter how he feels about you, it doesn’t matter how much he loves you, it doesn’t matter, not anymore.

He hurt you too many times for you to just let him back into your life like this.

You cannot give him the chance to hurt you again.

The clock strikes 2 when the doorbell rings. You furrow your brows when you look at the watch on your vanity, the one you never wear. Eddie is always on time when it comes to you but never when he picks up Robin first, she is always running late. You take one last look at yourself, fluffing out your hair a little more before you drop the lipgloss on the table. You smoothe down your skirt and reach for your little purse, picking out your favorite cardigan on the way out.

The doorbell rings again when you walk down the stairs, “I’m coming!” You sigh.

When you open the door, you don’t expect to see him on the other side. The smile that tugged at your lips instantly falls and tension arises in your body.

“Hi.”

Steve.

Your shoulders slump as you take in the sight of him. The soft and apologetic eyes, the hopeful look in his features. The messy hair.

“Hey,” you whisper.

“C-Can we talk?”

You’d rather not. The fear that he will pull you back in is too big.

“What about?”

You keep holding onto the door, staring at him as you try to calm the feeling in your chest. He had already walked you home last night, even though you tried to protest against it, he could’ve talked to you then but he stayed quiet, you did too.

He licks his lips as he looks down nervously. The atmosphere around you had changed yet again. You were ready to let him back into your life. You smiled at him again, you talked to him again, you wanted to be his friend – he ruined it all with a kiss and he knows it.

“I-I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

As you look into his eyes, you know, you just know, he is genuine about it. There’s remorse lingering in them and fear – fear of losing you again.

“Steve,” you sigh.

Steve had never begged for forgiveness when you were still together, he had done so many awful things, he hurt you so many times but he never begged for forgiveness, he just dismissed them and moved on and acted like he had never done anything wrong.

“I won’t ever do it again,” he says, even though kissing you is all he wants to do. “I just, I don’t want to lose you again.”

You don’t want to lose him again either.

Something about the look in his eyes and the sadness in his voice makes you feel guilty.

You nod.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah,” you breathe, “just, promise me that you won’t kiss me again.”

“I promise!” He exclaims with wide eyes, “I promise, I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do. I-I know that we’re not exactly friends but I-I’d love for us to be friends again.”

Right now, you don’t see the Steve that hurt you. You see the boy you used to play hide and seek with. The boy who used to pick flowers for you. The boy who used to pick you up in the afternoons to get sundaes at Benny’s. The boy you made a pact with when you were little kids – that you would stay friends, no matter what.

And Steve really needs a friend. He doesn’t have Tommy anymore, he doesn’t have Nancy anymore – who is left?

“Steve?”

“Yes?” He asks, furrowing his brows when you completely dismiss his words.

“Who do you hang out with?”

“No one,” he says without a single moment of hesitation.

It might be his fault but you still feel bad for him. You and Tommy were his only friends and now he has neither one of you left.

He has no one.

No friends and not even his parents to come home to – they are never there.

Maybe it’s the image of him alone or maybe it’s just the look in his eyes that makes you feel heartbroken, sad for the man in front of you, the one who used to be your everything.

Suddenly, you feel the need to keep the promise that you had made as kids.

You open your mouth to speak but the sound of a car – a van pulling up to your driveway makes you freeze in your spot. Your heart leaps to your throat and you swallow harshly.

Eddie.

Oh no. You had been ignoring his calls all day, breaking the promise that you would call after every party – you didn’t, at least not last night. You couldn’t.

He gets out of the van and closes the door. You are so focused on him that you don’t see Chrissy and Robin on the other side of the van. Eddie stares at Steve’s car with a frown on his face and when he looks your way, he freezes.

Steve notices the panicked look in your eyes, the nervousness is written all over your face. He turns around. Eddie stands there with a frown on his face, anger in his features and disappointment.

Robin and Chrissy share a look when they find Steve on your front porch. They are the firsts to walk towards you, glancing at Eddie nervously.

You tear your eyes away from Eddie when Chrissy walks up the stairs, brushing past Steve, completely ignoring his presence.

“Hey!” She smiles but with a questioning look in her eyes. You know what she is thinking; what is he doing here?

“Hey Chris,” you smile and greet her with a hug. She places her hand on your shoulder when she pulls back, eying the skirt you are wearing, her eyes lighten up, “oh my god, is it the one we bought last week together?”

“Yes!”

“I love it, it’s so cute!”

“Don’t you have the same one?” Robin asks, chuckling as she approaches you, eying Steve weirdly.

He rolls his eyes and sighs.

“Yes but it’s not the same color, Robs!”

Robin gives Chrissy a teasing smile before she looks over at you, “hey wild child, are you good after last night?” She tilts her head in his direction, raising her brows at you as though to say ‘what the fuck is he doing here?’

You would’ve laughed at the nickname she just gave you if it wasn’t for the intense look that Eddie is giving you as he walks up the stairs as well. You see his clenched jaw, he is angry – angry that you ignored his calls, angry to see him here. But there is also a hint of sadness in his brown orbs and you can’t take it – you can’t stand to see even a sliver of sadness in his eyes.

He quickly masks it with something else, just the way he always does.

You can’t even look at him so you look down.

Steve’s brows stayed furrowed, the tension and the awkwardness isn’t hard to miss. Eddie looks at him in a way that almost makes him shrink under the weight of his eyes. So he turns back to you. You are blinking, chewing on your bottom lip and breathing heavily. You feel guilty, so guilty that you can’t even look at Eddie. Steve’s heart drops a little. He remembers how he felt when Nancy kissed him, how he couldn’t look into your eyes without feeling like the guilt was eating at him. He felt horrible, even when it wasn’t a kiss he initiated or even let happen, he still felt guilty, just as guilty as you are feeling, right now.

But you and Eddie are just friends, right?

Robin and Chrissy look at each other awkwardly.

“Eddie, I-I’m sorry,” you say softly, “I had the worst headache–”

“Yeah, I can see that,” he mumbles, glancing at Steve.

Steve rolls his eyes at Eddie’s attitude.

“Look, can we just go?” Robin asks, wanting to escape the awkward situation.

“Yes please,” Chrissy mumbles.

You look up, slowly looking between your friends. You already know that Robin and Chrissy are both going to be too busy with each other and Eddie is clearly pissed – you have seen him angry before but the anger was never directed at you and you know very well how he can be when he’s pissed.

Before you can stop the words from spilling, you look up at Steve.

“Steve is coming too.”

All four of them turn to you, looking at you wide eyed – as though you had gone crazy.

Chrissy looks annoyed, Robin looks confused, Eddie looks at you in disbelief and Steve, he stares at you with softened eyes.

“I invited him,” you lie.

Steve shakes his head at you, he doesn’t want you to feel like you have to include him, this is not what he came here for. He just wanted to apologize and make things right.

Robin looks away with a clenched jaw and Chrissy looks down to hide her eye roll.

“Can I talk to you, sweetheart?” Eddie asks, tilting his head.

“Yeah,” you whisper, nervously.

You walk past Steve and the girls, clutching your cardigan tightly as you step out on the porch. Eddie places his hand on your lower back and leads you down the stairs and towards his van.

“Eddie, I’m sorry. I-I didn’t mean to ignore you–”

“Did something happen?” He asks and finally swallows the anger down. He can hear the trembling in your voice, the shakiness of your hand which might be caused by something else.

He feels the urge to cup your cheeks so he can see your eyes but you keep looking down at the graveled ground.

You simply shake your head.

“Why didn’t you call me?” He asks softly, this time.

“I was really tired and I drank too much, I wasn’t thinking.”

You raise your head a little, daring to look at him.

“You’re lucky Robin called me otherwise I would’ve broke into your house.”

Your lips twitch and you break into a smile, “wouldn’t be the first time.”

He can’t help but smile back at you, his anger melting away.

“I-I’m sorry for inviting him, I know none of you want him around.”

“Then why did you invite him?” He asks, not out of anger but out of curiosity.

You can see the annoyance lingering in his eyes, the same annoyance you saw in Chrissy’s and Robin’s eyes.

You don’t know why you feel the need to explain yourself but when you look at him, you know you have to.

“He is just a friend now, I promise. I-I don’t want him like that – he’s just my friend.”

Eddie’s eyes skip over your face. Your brows are furrowed, eyes pleading and filled with honesty – he just doesn’t understand what the guilt is for.

“I still don’t understand why he has to be included.”

“He’s alone, Eddie.”

His brows knit together and he shakes his head.

“No, he isn’t? He’s with Nancy and bitchy Carol and fucktard Tommy–”

“He broke up with Nancy and he doesn’t have friends. Not anymore.”

Oh.

If there is one thing Eddie knows, it’s loneliness. And he can’t help but pity him. There isn’t much that he knows about Steve except for the things that you told him and his absent parents – it’s something that he unfortunately can relate to. He knows what it’s like to have no one. But fear grows inside of him at the news of Steve being single.

“Fine, don’t expect me to not mess with him though.”

You roll your eyes, snorting at his words.

“You two will be menaces to each other.”

Whenever Eddie felt vulnerable, angry or hurt, he’d put on a mask, he would hide his true feelings by putting on a front. He had never felt that need to do that with you, not until now.

He watches you with a weird feeling in his chest when you walk back to Steve.

Robin gives Eddie a pitiful look but the latter refuses to show how insecure or sad he is. He puts on a fake smile and looks over at Steve.

“I always wanted to take your girl for a ride.”

Steve’s head snaps towards him, halting his movements, he stops jingling with his car keys and gives Eddie a weird look.

“Excuse me?”

Robin and Chrissy look at you before they turn to each other, erupting into a fit of giggles at the double innuendo.

Eddie briefly glances at you before he nudges his chin into the direction of Steve’s BMW.

Steve squints his eyes, “yeah, keep dreaming, Munson.”

Eddie chuckles, “I will.”

“Wait, are we taking your car?” You ask, turning to Steve.

Robin mumbles something under her breath and Chrissy shushes her in response, nudging her shoulder.

“Can we talk, y/n?” Steve asks.

“Yeah, at the movies.”

You know exactly what he wants to talk about. He doesn’t want to intrude and he probably feels awkward to be around your friends.

“Come on.”

Steve sighs, knowing that you won’t take no for an answer, he just gestures for you all to get in his car. He expects you to take the passenger seat but instead, you take Eddie’s hand in yours and lead him to the passenger side.

“You can sit in the front,” you smile at Eddie as he looks down at you in confusion.

“I’ll sit in the back with Chris and Robin.”

“Uh–”

“Let’s go before the movie starts!” You say before anyone else can protest.

Eddie and Steve share a look, not a very excited or happy one, it’s more one of annoyance. Neither of them want to spend time with the other. But they get in the car nonetheless.

Chrissy and Robin get in as well, begrudgingly so.

“Are we still going out for pizza afterwards?” Robin asks, looking between Chrissy, Eddie and you.

Steve looks at you through the rearview mirror, seeing the way you scrunch your face up in disgust.

“Yeah, we can order some when we get back to my place,” you mumble, “I definitely need some McDonald's today though.”

Robin raises her brows in surprise, “what, is that hangover food for you or something?”

Chrissy chuckles beside her.

“Not exactly.”

No. It’s not your hangover food. Steve knows it. You only ever craved McDonald’s once a month.

“Hey Robin, did you tell y/n about your new job yet?” She asks, trying to ease the tension in the car.

Your lips part when you look over at your friend, “wait, what new job? You found something new?”

“Yes!” Robin says, pretending to be excited, “I’m starting next week.”

“Where?”

“Scoops Ahoy!”

Chrissy smiles, nodding in excitement.

Steve turns around, looking at you, surprised. His lips twitch and you almost laugh. Eddie glances between the two of you.

“Oh,” he furrows his brows, “the ice cream shop, huh?”

“Yup.”

Robin doesn’t even acknowledge him properly, just nods into his direction. Oh, this is going to be interesting.

“So, have you met your co-workers yet?” You ask.

She twists the rings on her fingers, shaking her head.

“Nope, I guess, I’ll meet them on monday.”

“You don’t have to,” you giggle.

“Huh?”

The look of confusion amuses even Steve.

You point your finger at Steve, who waves at Robin mockingly.

Her eyes widen, for a moment she looks shocked before she lets out a groan of annoyance, “you gotta be kidding me..”

“Hey there, co-worker,” Steve says, unable to hold back his chuckle.

She slumps back, looking very miserable before her eyes light up and she sits back up, “wait! Does that mean that you have to wear one of those sailor uniforms too?”

At that, Steve groans and looks away.

“Sailor uniforms?”

“Come by on monday and you’ll see Steve in a pair of skimpy sailor shorts,” Robin winks at you.

While you and Chrissy laugh and even Eddie joins in, smirking at Steve, “are you gonna wear some slutty shorts, Harrington?”

“Shut up,” Steve mumbles, closing his eyes.

“Alright, alright,” Robin mumbles, “can you start the car, dingus? We’re gonna miss the movie!”

“Yeah,” he sighs as he starts the car.

The drive to the movies wasn't the most joyful one you’ve been on. Eddie kept pestering Steve about his music choices. Steve kept rolling his eyes at him and Chrissy and Robin kept whispering to you.

‘Why is he here?’

‘Why did you invite him?’

‘Are you with him again?’

‘What about –’

You never got to hear the end of Robin’s question, Chrissy slapped her shoulder before she could finish it.

Walking into the movie theater has always been a nostalgic feeling to you, it always takes you back to your childhood. It’s oddly comforting. The smell of popcorn and butter makes your mouth water and you can’t wait to dig into the sweet treat.

After buying the tickets, Chrissy takes your hand and leads you over to the lounge area while the others go to buy the snacks.

The moment you take a seat, she starts bombing you with questions again. Rambling and throwing one after the other at you, not even giving you the chance to reply.

“Chrissy–”

“No, please don’t tell me that you’re getting back with him,” she says, crinkling your nose. She watched you cry over him more than once, even before the break up.

You shake your head, “no,” you mumble, taking a look at the others as they stand by the counter.

“I just – he’s different now.”

Chrissy scoffs at your words, rolling her eyes.

“Right, they all change when they get dumped.”

“He didn’t get dumped, he broke up with Nancy – and it doesn’t even matter! I don’t want to date him, I-I just, we’re friends now, I guess.”

Chrissy knows that Steve had always been more than just your boyfriend. He was your best friend, long before she became friends with you.

“I just don’t want him to hurt you again, y/n.”

You tilt your head and smile at her, “please, don’t worry about me. I won’t let that happen, not again. We’re friends. That’s all.”

She nods at your words and glances at the others. Steve and Eddie seem to be fighting about something, she can’t help but chuckle in amusement.

Eddie rolls his eyes at Steve, leaning closer to him to mock him about something.

“What’s so funny?”

She tilts her head at you, “well, I guess, Steve tagging along makes things more entertaining.”

With furrowed brows, you take a look at them – Eddie is holding a bag of popcorn in one hand, throwing some at Steve with the other.

“Guys!” You hear Robin’s annoyed voice.

You snort.

Robin is the first to come back, annoyance written all over her face,“they are so immature.”

She hands Chrissy the bag of popcorn and a box of Reese's pieces.

“They’re men, what do you expect?”

“You’re right,” Robin says to Chrissy.

“Sweetheart, tell Steve that you prefer salted popcorn,” Eddie says when he comes back, “he insisted on sweet popcorn.”

Steve rolls his eyes at Eddie, stopping next to him.

“Here we go again,” Robin mumbles under her breath.

Steve already knows your answer so he doesn’t even look at you expectedly. Eddie seems to look like he knows your answer too and he does, but today it isn’t the right one.

“Uh.” You get up and look at your best friend with an apologetic look in your eyes as you reach for the bag in Steve’s hand. “I’m sorry…”

Eddie’s eyes flash with confusion and his face falls. If you didn’t feel so guilty already, you would’ve been amused by the look of betrayal on his face. He is so dramatic. You’d be lying if you said that it’s something you don’t love about him though.

“W-What?” He scoffs as his lips set in a pout, “we always get salted popcorn!”

“Yeah and it’s my favorite but I’m craving something sweet today. I’m sorry, Ed’s.”

Eddie rolls his eyes and looks away from you, “and how did you know that?” He asks Steve.

Steve could have been smug about it, especially, seeing as it makes Eddie mad.

He shrugs, “it’s just something that we always used to get when we came here,” he lies.

Suddenly, you want to run, you want to escape. So you grab your purse and leave the group, pretending to look at the ticket that you were holding all this time. Chrissy gets up to follow you and so does Steve.

Robin and Eddie stay back though, glancing at each other.

It’s not that they hate him. They don’t. But they know what he did to you, they know how much he hurt you, how much you suffered because of him and he had done nothing to earn your trust back. He just weaseled his way back into your life and you let him.

And despite his jealousy and the fear of losing you, Eddie still isn’t as angry as Robin is – because he thinks about your words; ‘He’s alone, Eddie.’

Eddie and Robin follow the three of you, he watches you, he watches how you interact with Steve and Chrissy, laughing at something he said.

“I’m so fucking pissed,” Robin says.

“Why?” He asks but keeps his eyes on you.

“Because he will just hurt her again. I can’t believe she feels bad for him after the shit he did to her.”

“Well, can’t really fight her when she’s this stubborn,” Eddie shrugs.

“Yeah, but he doesn’t want to be friends with her – I mean, when Billy kissed her he was like all rough and shit, and then Heather – fuck, when Heather told me she kissed Steve, I was fuming!” She says, looking up as she groans in anger.

Eddie feels like someone had dropped a bucket of ice cold water over him. He freezes and halts in his tracks, eyes widening as he feels his heart sinking to his stomach.

“W-What?” Eddie mumbles.

Robin stops walking when she notices that Eddie is no longer beside her. She glances at the three of you before she turns back to him and sees the look of confusion and sadness in his eyes – fuck. She should have known. She should’ve known that you didn’t tell him. That is why you didn’t call him. That is why you didn’t pick up any of his calls.

“S-She kissed Steve a-and Billy?” He asks with widened eyes, “please, tell me you’re joking, Robin.”

Robin’s own eyes widen as well and she starts shaking her head wildly, “no! It was spin the bottle.”

A part of him feels relieved but the other part is still tense. His eyes begin to hurt.

He curses at himself for not being there last night. You wouldn’t have to kiss Billy if he was there, you wouldn’t have to kiss Steve.

“B-But it was just a game, right?”

A guilty feeling overcomes Robin and she already begins to regret that she even mentioned it.

She wants to say ‘yes, it was just a game’ but Robin was never a good liar and even if she tried, he would know that she is not telling the truth.

“It was just a game,” Eddie repeats, “her kissing Steve was just a game, right?”

He doesn’t even care about Billy, the kiss with him was just a game.

“Eddie–”

“Come on, Robin,” he mumbles, shakily.

He knows he has no right to be upset over a kiss. You are not even his to lose. But he always hoped, deep down, he always hoped that there might be a chance for him someday.

“She told me that he kissed her again afterwards – outside.”

“But Eddie, I don’t think that it meant anything to her. She rejected him and then came to find me.”

Her words do nothing to make him feel better.

Robin looks at him, anxiously. She knows how resentful Eddie can be when he’s hurt and by the look on his face, she knows that he is deeply hurt.

“Are you guys coming?” Chrissy asks, interrupting Robin who was just about to say something.

Eddie looks down with a clenched jaw. He doesn’t even want to be here anymore.

“Yeah. Come on, Eddie.”

Eddie follows begrudgingly. He knows that he shouldn’t feel that way. It shouldn’t hurt as much. You are still just friends after all, you are not his girlfriend, you are not his, your heart isn’t his.

You never gave any signs that you wanted him back, not even once.

He shouldn’t be this upset. He shouldn’t feel so jealous.

But it isn’t just the kiss or the kisses.

You have only spent one evening with Steve, kissed him twice and you are already distancing yourself from him. Ignoring him and his calls. He is already losing you.

His mood only gets worse when he finds you sitting next to him, giggling at something he said to you. He rolls his eyes and sits down on the other side of you.

You turn away from Steve and towards him, smiling at him, “hey.”

“Hey,” he grumbles.

He doesn’t even see the creased brows or the saddened look in your eyes, he’s staring at the white screen.

“How was the campaign last night?”

“Good.”

“Okay,” you mumble and lean back again, you frown in confusion. Is he this upset over some salted popcorn?

Steve looks over at Eddie, his jaw is clenched, he blinks faster than usual, he is pissed. He was pissed before but not like this, he seemed to have calmed down on the drive here and even while they were at the counter, buying snacks, he seemed fine and even laughed and teased him, now he just looks angry.

He glances at Robin who sits next to him, she is chewing on her bottom lip and bouncing her knee, completely ignoring Chrissy’s rambling. The room might be dark, but Steve can see the guilt in her eyes.

“Hey Robin,” he whispers.

She rolls her eyes at him, “what?”

“You didn’t tell Eddie about the kiss did you?” He whispers, careful that you aren’t listening.

She freezes a little and that is enough of an answer. Shit. Steve doesn’t really care about Eddie or about what he feels. He understands him but he still doesn’t care.

He cares about you. Back at your house, he saw the way you avoided Eddie’s eyes, the way you looked so scared and guilty, you were scared of his reaction that’s why you avoided him. You didn’t want him to know.

Now he knows and you don’t know that he does.

“Are you not gonna tell me about it?” Steve hears you asking him.

Eddie doesn’t even glance at you, he only leans further away from you.

“I would’ve told you if you picked up the fucking phone last night.”

You’re taken aback by the anger in his words, by the curse words that he never ever directed at you.

Normally, you would have said something but the guilt that you are still feeling makes you unable to talk. Besides, you are too intimidated to say anything back, scared that he will lash out on you because, clearly, he is deeply upset about something.

Steve watches how you turn away from him, you roll your eyes but the sadness gives away how hurt you are by Eddie’s attitude towards you.

Steve glares at Eddie, the urge to whack him across his curly head is strong.

He nudges your shoulder and gives you a soft smile when you look at him, “you okay?”

You hesitate, “...yes.”

Eddie narrows his eyes to look at the two of you and he keeps doing it during the whole movie.

Normally, you would comment on certain scenes, so would he. Normally, you would laugh together and you would lean your head on his shoulder, he would wrap his arm around you.

Today, he leans away from you and after a few attempts to talk to him or make him laugh, you give up when he keeps brushing you off. You lean away from him as well. He doesn’t comment on anything and neither do you anymore. He is still pissed and you are still tense, your mind is filled with thoughts that you don’t want to think about and despite the painkillers you took earlier, your stomach is still cramping. You are hurting today.

Despite the funny moments in the movie, you cannot laugh, in fact, you feel like crying – whether it’s your period making you overly emotional or just Eddie.

Eddie is giving you the cold shoulder and it hurts, it fucking hurts.

He had never done anything like that to you before.

You have been close friends for almost a year now and not once had he said or done anything to hurt you. But now, he is giving you the silent treatment, the cold shoulder and you can’t stand it because it’s something that Steve used to do to you.

Whenever he was upset about something, he wouldn’t talk, he wouldn’t tell you what was going on in his mind, he wouldn’t tell you what you did wrong, he would simply give you the cold shoulder and ignore you for the rest of the day.

And now Eddie is doing the same to you.

Eddie who you thought would never do this.

The moment the credits start rolling, you jump up from the seat and push past Eddie. You rush out of the room after making up some excuse that you have to use the bathroom.

“Is she okay?” Chrissy asks Eddie.

“How would I know?” He snaps at her and gets up as well, leaving the others behind as he makes his way out as well.

Chrissy scrunches her face up and looks at Robin, “what’s gotten into him?”

“Jesus..” Steve runs his fingers through his hair, “what a brat.”

“Who?” Chrissy asks as she takes a proper look at his face for the first time today, “Eddie?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re right,” she mutters under her breath as she gets up, “I can’t believe I’d ever agree with you.”

Steve isn’t offended by her words. He knows that your friends never liked him and he doesn’t blame them. They have always been protective of you and of your feelings, something that he wasn’t when you were dating.

“Let’s just go,” Robin says, “I need the pizza now.”

After some internal pep talk and five minutes of trying to keep yourself from breaking down, you leave the bathroom and step back into the empty hallway – almost empty hallway. You are almost startled by his presence. Out of all your friends, you didn’t expect to see him waiting for you.

You halt in your tracks. He is looking at you the same way he did when he just came to your place.

Eddie looks at your eyes, he notices the glassiness right away, whether you cried or not, he feels awful, despite the jealousy and the anger that he is still feeling.

“Who pissed in your coffee this morning?” You finally snap at him.

If he wasn’t so on edge already, he would’ve laughed and he would’ve loved the cute frown on your face.

If he didn’t have a sleepless night, he maybe wouldn’t have been so pissed but the sleepless night was your fault.

Even through the angry haze, he can see how beautiful you look today – you always look beautiful but something about the way you look today makes his heart race even faster. Maybe it’s the new skirt or maybe it’s the way you did your makeup or the fact that you are wearing his ring – you always wear it but, somehow, it means even more to him that you are wearing it today, even after the kiss with him.

Eddie never gets to answer your question.

Your friends join the two of you and interrupt your little tense moment.

“Let’s go, we’re gonna order some pizza.”

You tear your eyes away from his, sighing as you walk past him.

“Yeah, can we order? I don’t feel like eating there.”

Robin and Chrissy nod. They pull you away from Eddie and Steve.

Both men stay behind for a moment, Eddie looks at the ground, a mixture of guilt and anger still deep in his features.

Steve wants to say something and he opens his mouth but decides against it. Anything that he will say, will only anger the metalhead even further and he doesn’t want to risk making things worse.

So he turns around and walks away.

You are surprised to see Robin and Steve sharing a knowing look when you all get back into his car, they both take a look at Eddie, who is silent, unlike on the drive here.

Chrissy leans closer to you, she cups her hand over her mouth, “did something happen between you and Eddie?” She whispers, giving you a look of concern and confusion.

You shake your head at her and shrug. You are just as confused.

Her eyes soften when she sees the worry and the hurt in your eyes, she gives you a sad smile and takes ahold of your hand, trying to comfort you.

Your lips twitch, you squeeze her hand back before you turn away, looking out the window instead.

The day started off good, the sun was shining and the breeze was warm but, just like your mood, the weather had taken a turn for the worse. The clouds appeared like dark shadows over the pretty blue sky and the breeze turned into a harsh wind. It isn’t raining yet but you know it’s about to start falling any minute.

Somehow, the weather always matches your mood.

“I thought we were getting pizza?”

You were so focused on watching the clouds move, you didn’t pay attention to where you were driving.

Your eyes light up a little when you see the McDonald’s sign.

“Y/n doesn’t want pizza,” Steve says as he pulls into the drive through, “she wanted burgers.”

For a moment, you forget about Eddie’s anger, the pain in your stomach or the guilt. Your eyes widen and a smile tugs at your lips, you have been craving burgers and fries all day.

“Oh! Fries too, please, Stevie!”

You don’t hear Eddie’s scoff over Steve’s chuckle, “I know, dolly.”

Eddie rolls his eyes and clenches his fist.

“Does anyone want anything?”

Eddie mumbles a ‘no’.

Robin simply shakes her head and Chrissy leans closer to Robin to look out the window, reading the menu board.

“Oh, can I have a strawberry milkshake?” Chrissy asks shyly, already reaching for the walled in her purse but you stop her, placing your hand over hers.

“I got it, Chris.”

“Don’t sweat it,” Steve mumbles, looking over his shoulder, he glances at you both, “I’ll pay.”

She raises her brows, forcing a smile as she mumbles a quiet ‘thanks’.

Robin is awfully quiet and you just notice it now when Chrissy leans back and you get to take a look at her. She keeps running her fingers through her hair, looking out the window with tense shoulders, just like Eddie.

What the hell is going on?

Chrissy looks just as clueless as you though.

When Steve hands you the bag and the milkshake, a few minutes later, you almost squeal in excitement. Chrissy laughs at the look on your face and takes the milkshake from your hand.

“Do you wanna share?” She asks, offering you the drink after taking the paper off the straw.

“No thanks, I need the fries now.” You rip open the bag, the smell of greasy food makes your mouth water, “I’m so hungry,” you mumble as you reach for the fries.

“Want some?” You ask Chrissy and Robin, “I’ll share, it’s too much for me anyways.”

Robin shakes her head, “nah, I’ll wait for the pizza.”

Chrissy takes some, “you’re missing out, Robin.”

“Right?” You mumble through a mouthful, “you gotta dip them, Chris.”

“Not in a strawberry milkshake though!” She laughs, “it’s gotta be vanilla.”

Steve glances at you through the rearview mirror. His heart flutters when he sees the smile on your face.

“Do you guys want some?” You ask, offering some to Steve and Eddie.

“It’s all yours, hangry,” Steve chuckles, using an old nickname.

“I’m not hangry!” You slap his shoulder.

“You want some Eddie?” You ask softly.

He shakes his head, continuing to give you the cold shoulder. So he really is mad at you. Eddie never says no to fries, he steals some from your plate every time you go out to eat – or he finishes the ones that are left on your plate when you get too full to finish eating them yourself.

You exhale and slump back in your seat, feeling sad all over again.

You look down at the fries, suddenly, not feeling as hungry as you did before. Still, you continue snacking on the fries, choosing to save the burger for later.

Chrissy looks at you worriedly when you frown and look down at your food, sadly, not as happy as you did a few moments back. She knows that you had been struggling in the past few months, you haven’t been eating as much and whenever you do, you quickly lose your appetite. Whether it’s the past memories that take away your appetite or something else – you have a problem. A problem that Eddie usually tries to help you with.

She doesn’t know what happened but she can’t help but glare at the metalhead.

But Robin is acting off too, so when you finally arrive back at your place and you all walk into your house. Chrissy takes Robin’s hand and pulls her away to the dining room to talk to her.

“We’re gonna order the pizza!” Chrissy shouts as they disappear in the hallway.

“Uh – okay.”

Throwing your cardigan and your purse on the dresser, you walk into the living room.

“Should I get some drinks?” Steve asks you, following you.

“I can do it–”

“No, sit down, I’ll get some,” Steve mumbles, giving you a smile before he walks past you, disappearing in the kitchen.

You reach for the remote to turn on some music on the TV, you always need the background noise, even in a room full of people. From the corner of your eye, you see him. You are surprised that he’s still here, you figured that he’d take his van and leave the moment Steve parked the car in your driveway.

A part of you wants to say something but the other part doesn’t. You don’t want to give him the silent treatment back, you are just scared of his explanation.

On the way home, you kept trying to figure out what made him so angry.

Did he know about the kiss? Did Robin tell him? Is he upset about that?

Even if he knows, he can’t be upset about it – even when you think about what Nancy said to you, it still makes no sense. Why would he be upset? You aren’t together. You are not his girlfriend.

Then again, it doesn’t explain your guilty feeling either. Just like you aren’t his, he isn’t yours. You have no reason to feel so guilty about kissing Steve – you can kiss whoever you want.

Besides, you went on a date with Ray and even kissed him before he turned into a major douchebag – Eddie never got upset about the fact that you wanted to go on a date. So he can’t be upset about this either, right?

It has to be something else.

Is he sick of you?

Did he finally realize that you aren’t worth his time?

Did he have a sudden change of heart just like Steve did when he went from loving boyfriend to awful boyfriend overnight?

Did your radio silence piss him off that much?

He is still standing by the doorway.

You can’t help but roll your eyes at him and of course, it doesn’t go unnoticed by him. You still don’t say anything though, too afraid to make things worse.

The tugging in your chest gets even worse, if that is even possible.

“What’s wrong, dolly?”

All appetite is lost the moment you hear the mocking in his voice. You still blame your emotions on your period but deep down, you know that it’s not that.

You feel the coil in your throat, the hollow feeling in your stomach and the sickness in your chest. You don’t know whether you want to throw up or break into tears.

You can’t take this, not from him.

His words weren’t even bad or offending in any way but to hear the tone in his voice, to receive the cold shoulder from someone who you wouldn’t hesitate to give your everything to, makes you feel like you’re taken back to Halloween – where it all fell apart.

“Did you have fun last night?”

His question makes you frown. For the first time, you look at Eddie with a glare.

“I did.”

“Yeah, I figured,” he scoffs and looks away.

What the hell?

Chrissy and Robin walk into the room, both looking a little tense.

“Uh, pizza is ordered,” Chrissy says awkwardly.

She notices your heavy breathing and the way you are blinking quickly. The way you keep glancing at Eddie who refuses to look at you.

Steve comes back into the room with a few cans of coke, he places them on the small table. Steve’s presence seems to anger Eddie even further and Chrissy is starting to get annoyed by the attitude that spawned out of nowhere.

“Hey, are you okay?” Chrissy asks you.

Eddie is not looking at you. He isn’t even glancing at you. He doesn’t care. Why doesn’t he care anymore? What happened?

Your eyes burn. You can’t sit here any longer, you get up and walk away.

“Hey, do you not want to eat your food?” Steve asks, pointing to the takeout on the table.

“Not hungry,” you mumble.

“But, you haven’t eaten all day!”

Suddenly, Eddie feels even worse than he did before. He let his anger control him, all fucking day.

Steve sees your trembling lip and the tears in your eyes when you look back for a split second before you brush past Eddie and disappear into the hallway.

Chrissy calls out for you, jumping up from the couch, she runs after you, bumping into Eddie on purpose with a death glare.

He looks down with a sigh.

Steve has had enough of his behavior. He shakes his head in disbelief before he walks over to him, startling Eddie by grabbing his shoulder roughly, pushing him forward.

“What the fuck, dude?” Eddie snaps at him, trying to push Steve’s hands off of him but the latter has a strong grip on him and he pushes him towards the entrance, ripping the door open, he pushes him out.

For a moment, Eddie thinks that he’s getting kicked out.

Robin jumps up, looking panicked as she watches them both leaving the house. She follows behind, opening the door that Steve just slammed shut.

“What the hell is your problem?” Eddie asks, pushing Steve’s hands off with force.

“What’s my problem?” Steve chuckles in disbelief, pointing to himself.

Eddie scoffs and looks away.

“Get your fucking jealousy in check before you keep hurting her!” Steve yells over the harsh rain that is falling.

“She is not – I-I’m not..”

“Yes, you fucking are. You were fine before the movie, so I’m guessing you –” he points at Robin, who breaks eye contact right away and slumps, “told him something and I have a pretty fucking good idea of what it is!”

Eddie’s shoulders slump, he looks down, his eyes are burning.

“It’s just–” Eddie’s words get cut short because what can he say? How can Eddie tell him he is mad because he can’t compare himself to Steve Harrington? How can he tell him that he isn’t just jealous but also hurting? How can Eddie say anything at all when he has no chance whatsoever?

For a split second, Steve is able to see through Eddie, the look in his eyes gives it all away.

“Eddie,” he sighs, hurting himself with what he is about to say. He could lie to him, he could leave it all like this, be your knight in shining armor and pick you up after today but he won’t use Eddie’s insecurities and your vulnerability to weasel his way back into your heart.

Steve looks up, taking a deep breath.

“She pushed me away when I kissed her and I think we all know why.”

Eddie’s eyes widen.

“Now get your ass up there and fix it,” Steve says angrily.

A million questions run through Eddie’s mind but now is not the time to ask them. Steve won’t take no for an answer. He simply nods before he walks back into the house.

Robin crosses her arms over her chest, she is impressed by Steve. She’s a little surprised, she expected a fight to break out, she didn’t expect this to be cut… so short.

“Good job, Dingus.”

He rolls his eyes at her, “let’s get inside.”

Chrissy is standing in front of the bathroom door, leaning against it as she keeps trying to convince you to come out.

“Please, y/n,” she sighs, softly.

Eddie eyes the cheerleader warily, for someone with such a kind face, she sure gave him the kind of death glare that even intimidated him.

He takes a deep breath.

“Can I try?”

She turns around at the sound of his voice, snapping her head up with a frown. Her brows knit together, her mouth twists and she rolls her eyes but steps away from the door nonetheless.

“Yeah,” she mumbles, “don’t mess it up, Munson.”

That is a threat. Yeah, with the look on her face, it definitely is a threat.

He really messed up.

He knocks on the door softly, closing his eyes as he tries to calm his breathing.

“Sweetheart,” he speaks with a much gentler voice than before, “can we talk?”

Silence.

“Please?”

He opens his eyes when the faint click of the lock sounds through the hallway. He grabs the doorknob and twists it, he opens the door and steps inside. You are sitting on the edge of the bathtub, wiping away the tears that keep rolling down your cheeks – because of him.

But why? Why would you cry over him?

You look up at him with glossy eyes and you rise to your feet.

“D-Do you hate me Eddie?”

His eyes widen and he shakes his head quickly.

Eddie doesn’t even hesitate, he immediately pulls you into a tight hug. His own heart breaks, not once in his life did he think he would hurt you but, here he was, causing you pain because of his own selfishness.

He can feel you clinging to him, your arms are wrapped tightly around him, your tears are seeping through his shirt but he doesn’t mind.

“No baby, you didn’t do anything wrong. I was just being stupid,” he sighs, not even noticing the nickname that rolled off his tongue so naturally.

“I don’t want to lose you, Eddie.”

The trembling in your voice and the sadness makes his heart hurt even more.

Not once in his life was anyone ever scared to lose him, yet, here you are, the girl that he loves, scared to lose him. You could have anyone, you could have Steve but you are scared to lose him.

Whether it’s platonically or not – you are scared to lose him and that has to mean something.

“You won’t lose me, I promise, you won’t,” he whispers and kisses the top of your head. “I’m so sorry – fuck,” he blinks his own tears away, hating himself for what he did. “I’m such an asshole.”

You only hug him tighter in response.

“No, you’re not,” you mumble, “just don’t do it again.”

“I won’t. I promise, I won’t.”

“I’m so–”

“Stop apologizing. Just hold me,” you mumble into his chest, “we can talk later.”

“Okay,” he whispers, hugging you even tighter.

This is what you need. To be held and comforted by him.

You lean your chin on his chest and look up at him, “will you stay with me tonight?”

For some reason, your question has him stunned.

You have had sleepovers before, many sleepovers in fact. But, something feels different. He doesn’t know what it is but something has shifted.

Something has shifted between the two of you after last night, he felt it earlier already and he feels it now as well.

His heart thumps wildly in his chest and he’s sure that you can feel it because he can feel yours.

“Yeah, I’ll stay with you.”

tagging mutuals

@taintedcigs @mysticmunson @wroteclassicaly @corrodedcorpses @corrodedseraphine @xxhellfirebunnyxx @take-everything-you-can @trashmouth-richie @sherrylyn628 @nemesis729 @succubusmunson @chrissymjstan @somethingvicked

#steddie fic recs #andy my angel cutie pie

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theswiftarmy · 5 years ago

Text

#17 – We Go Live In Five Hours!

Scene 17: The Microsoft Theater at L.A. Live - Downtown Los Angeles - Daytime, Interior – Twelve O’clock Noon exact on Sunday November Twenty-Fourth, Twenty-Nineteen.

FINAL DRESS REHERSAL FOR THE AMERICAN MUSIC AWARDS

TAYLOR SWIFT, POINT OF VIEW: Watches as the show director for the American Music Awards, Jeffery, tells the show’s stars sitting in audience seats that they must run the entire show from the top as a full dress rehearsal, again.

CHANGE CAMERA SHOT, we ZOOM in on Taylor Swift, slowly, panning from a full shot of the stage.

WRITER: Oh yeah, this is good stuff. I really should start writing this as a screenplay from here on out, so that way after Taylor Swift finds it and reads it, and then sends it over to her friends that made that “Cats” movie—and I am in turn contacted by Taylor herself along with a big time studio in Hollywood to get this masterpiece made into a movie, the screenplay will already be ready! And THEN I can be all like, hey Steven Spielberg, you want in on this? And he’ll be all like… “Cut it, print it, ship it, sell it, baby!” Or whatever snazzy jazzy lingo it is they use out in Hollywood—

EDITOR: Uh, I hate to break it to you, but this is never going to be a movie. Can we talk about this? First off, you’re never going to get all these people to agree to be IN a movie together in real life, what with the bad blood and all. Plus, you do know that’s just not how it works… The process of getting a movie made is so much more complicated than posting awkwardly written fan fiction online for your idol to stumble upon it and fawn all over your wordplay—

WRITER: Just trample on my dreams why don’t you?

EDITOR: I’m just telling it like it is! Dude, I’m not trying to let you down… But that’s not at all how Hollywood works! Plus, I doubt Taylor is ever going to even see this story, she’s REALLY busy these days and you tend to ramble on and on in some sections, you should definitely be a little more concise instead of meandering around making your point, but keep dreaming… Keep telling yourself: “Oh, look, Taylor Swift is going to find some random Tumblr novel about her and sit there reading the ENTIRE thing post by post completely captivated by your every word…” Because THAT’s realistic! Let me let you in on a little secret though, I don’t know how I feel about Taylor, I mean, have you read some of the stuff online about her? The gossip against her… Maybe you’re better off not capturing her attention… She could bad news my friend.

WRITER: Why don’t you go edit something?

EDITOR: Oh, yeah, because that’s a come back. Why don’t you go right something?

WRITER: AH-HA! See… And you call yourself an editor… don’t you mean WRITE something!?

EDITOR: No. I mean what I said, ‘right’ something—right a ship that’s sinking fast—right something that’s going wrong…. Like this story, that’s going nowhere fast.

PRODUCER: Ohhhhhh… Sick burn! Sick. Burn.

WRITER: Just leave me alone and stop crushing my dreams. I know it’s never going to be a movie, I know Taylor is never going to read it—you don’t think I know that? I know that… Just let me at least dream while I write this scene and stop being so mean.

EDITOR: Look at you, Mr. Poetic. Alright… I’m gonna go play some Xbox, call me when you’re done. Come on producer, I’ll let you pick the game. We’ll leave the writer to his “dreams”.

EDITOR AND PRODUCER EXIT STAGE LEFT, THEY LAUGH AS THEY SLAM THE DOOR SHUT, WRITER STARES OUT WINDOW WATCHING SNOW FALL, SAPPY MUSIC PLAYS. ZOOM IN ON WRITER FOR SHORT MONOLOGUE.

WRITER: If only I could make the Editor understand. I just don’t see things the way he does. I don’t see how a girl that makes such wonderful things, could be bad. Look at this story! Isn’t it neat? Wouldn’t you think it’s cool and complete? About a girl, a girl who has… Everything. A trove, of treasures untold! How many wonders can her song catalogue hold… Looking at her, well you’d think, sure, she’s got everything! She’s got catchy songs a plenty! She’s got singles and albums galore. You want music videos? SHE’S GOT TWENTY! But who cares, no big deal, she wants more. I want to be where Taylor’s people are… I want to sing and be there dancing! Hanging out with all her, what do you call them? Oh, Swifties. Being a fan of hers is cool and all but I want to do more than just jumping and dancing. I want the cameras rolling along with a catchy musical… What’s that word again? Oh yeah, beat… Up where they talk, up where it’s fun, up where they sing all day in the sun… Swiftie and free… Wish I could be, part of that world. What would I give, if I could make movies with Taylor… What would I pay, to spend a day part of Taylor Swift’s band … Bet you she’s grand and understands and doesn’t reprimand someone’s daughters. Bright young women, Swiftie women, taking a stand! And I’m ready to join with her, ready to go! Ask her a question, and get some answers… What’s her favorite cover song and how long did it take her to, what’s the word… Learn? When’s it my turn, to make a movie about love, a lover for sure, she is she’s a lover in love… As everyone can see… Sigh. Wish I could be, part of that world… Maybe they’re right. Maybe it’s silly to dream. But what if Taylor never dared to follow her own dreams! If she never picked up a guitar or played a single note on the piano. What if she never tried at all, how many Swifties would be Swiftieless! How many lives has she positively impacted with her music, with her kind words, with her retweets and reblogs on Tumblr, with her fan photo hearts, her genuine heart… and all her creative works of art…

WRITER SIGHS. Writer continues tay-ping into the night on the computer keyboard…

“Everyone! We’re going to do it again. Because, right now? I can’t. I just can’t… I can’t even handle it. I can’t even look at it, I can’t even think about it, I can’t even say I can’t about it…”

“Calm down Jeff. Okay? Just breathe. We’re gonna get it right.”

“Carol… It’s just… Everything is mess. We go live at eight! EIGHT! They’re acting like it’s still tech week! WE GO LIVE AT EIGHT!!! And that’s New York time, which means we go live at FIVE here in L.A.”

“It’s okay. You’re stressing yourself too much.” Carol King stood on the stage with the director of the American Music Awards, Jeffery, attempting to reassure him. A stage manager also stood nearby for backup should Carol’s efforts go in vain.

“Those two crack me up.” Selena sat in the audience seat to the left of Taylor.

“Well, it does need to be perfect, Selena.” Taylor reminded her.

“Speak for yourselves, I’m already perfect, did you see me during Tik Tok… NAILED IT. And my new song… Oh HELL to the yeah.” Kesha kicked her feet up and put them on an empty seat just to the left of Selena.

“Watch it!” Selena said turning her head slightly. “I just had my hair done!”

Kesha wiggled her barefoot toes close to Selena Gomez, just inches from the new hair-doo, egging her on, Selena made a grossed out face shifting over in her seat closer to Taylor. Kesha sat up. “WAIT! You guys, I just had an idea!!! I should make a TikTok video, during Tik Tok!” Kesha impulsively yelled her idea immediately up to the stage, “JEFFY! Can I record a TikTok while I perform Tik Tok during my set?!”

“NO KESHA!” He shouted back from the stage.

“Way to ruin my dreams.” She said sulking back into her seat. “It’s my creative expression, I should be able to do whatever I want.” Kesha made a pouty face. She went back to trying to pretend to touch Selena’s hair with her toes.

“Taylor, I know it needs to be perfect, but he’s stressing out so much. KESHA! Stop, that’s soo gross.” She turned around and stuck her tongue out at Kesha. Kesha laughed then let up and moved her feet away. “Ugh… Poor guy. He practically runs this whole thing.” Selena sighed. “I mean yes, there’s a ton of other people behind the scenes, but it all falls on his shoulders.”

“EVERYONE!!! WE GO LIVE IN…” He looked at his watch, “FIVE hours. It’s NOON! The show starts at EIGHT Eastern Standard Time, which means we pull the curtain at FIVE O’CLOCK PACIFIC TIME!”

“We know Jeffery. Just chill out man. Jeffy you’re gonna get your pants in a Jeffy jiffy twisty.” Ozzy yelled in his Ozzy Osbourne voice from his seat as he turned and high fived Post Malone.

“Right on.” Post laughed, and then sipped his beer. “Just take it as it comes and carry on.” He toasted to the stage with his bottle of beer and then clinked glasses with Ozzy.

“Post! It’s only noon. How are you already drinking?” Lizzo said looking over two seats. “Also, did they open the bar yet or what? This girl gotta get her drink on too.”

“Nah, B-Y-O-B, they won’t serve until after the red carpet… You want one?” He opened a cooler with a six-pack of beer.

“Ummm, I’ll wait.”

“Suit yourself.” He reached in and cracked open two more handing one to Ozzy.

“Ozzy! It’s only noon!” Sharon said slapping Ozzy on the hand.

“Sharon… Chill out… It’s non-alcoholic.”

“Oh, well in that case, give me one.”

“Sure thing Sharon…” Post Malone smiled and cracked open another beer handing it to Sharon Osbourne. He pulled out a bag of Trader Joe’s chips and passed the bag around for everyone to take a handful. Life is funny like that, one day you’re eating chips on your own solo, the whole bag to yourself—maybe with some dip, or salsa, or guacamole even, and maybe not—then suddenly the next thing you know, it’s a Post Malone party, you’re sharing the bag of chips together with Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne, and Lizzo.

Taylor turned back from Taylurking the conversation happening several seats away from her between Post Malone, Lizzo, Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne. Just wait until you try my Fizzy Lifting Lover drinks she thought to herself.

“At least Scooter won’t be here.” Sara said to Taylor in a low voice, leaning over in her seat.

“I know. But, I kind of wanted to roast him in front of everyone, watch him squirm a little. That would have been sooooo amazing!”

“Taylor, no. We talked about this. You need to wait until the time is right. We need to…” She quieted down and looked around. “Well you know.”

“Sara, I know. Okay?” Taylor whispered back.

“Hey Taaaaaay…” Shawn Mendes walked by Taylor and smiled over his shoulder.

Taylor awkwardly covered her mouth, hiding a smile waiting for it to subside, when it finally did, she waved back.

“What was that?” Sara asked noticing Taylor blushing ever so slightly.

“What was what?”

“Umm, between you and Shawn.” Sara pointed over at Shawn now standing beside Camila Cabello.

“Nothing. What?”

“Taylor—Is there something between the two of you? Because if there is, as your attorney, I NEED TO KNOW! YOU NEED TO TELL ME EVERYTHING!” Sara raised her voice—she was almost shouting. Billie Eilish looked up from her phone raising an eyebrow in Taylor and Sara’s direction, then turned her attention back to her phone.

“Whoa, Sara…” Taylor lowered her head sinking into her seat, “You’re making scene.”

“Sorry, I… I don’t know what came over me.” Sara’s voice returned to her normal calm and collected tone.

“It’s okay… It’s… It’s alright.” Taylor pushed her self slightly away from Sara in the seat; she’d never seen Sara act like that before. Almost like Sara was a different person for just a moment. Taylor reached down to check on the masters case and make sure it was still seated next to her, unable to make contact she looked down and noticed Sara had pulled it closer—Taylor pulled it back.

“I just need to know things, okay?” Sara said to Taylor, making direct eye contact. Taylor looked back up at Sara. “To… protect you. That’s all. And to advise you properly…. I care about you okay? I’m not just your lawyer, I’m a loyal Swiftie, and I’m your biggest fan.”

Taylor’s eyes drifted away from Sara and back to Shawn again. “Riiiiight. Okay Sara, yeah, sounds good.” She said distracted, ogling Shawn Mendes. She felt that same dang crooked smile forming on her face. What was that? Why could she not help but smile every time she looked at him, SHE almost felt like a different person—She needed a distraction. Taylor pulled out her phone and texted Joe.

Hey you… Just wanted to say I was thinking of you! Inset 50 heart emojis.

She clicked send.

There was a sudden commotion from one of the entranceways to the theater, “Billy Porter is in the house!” Someone yelled.

“Oh my God Billy is here! Sara, hold my phone.” Taylor got up from her seat and ran over to hug him.

Sara looked at the phone in her hand; the screen was unlocked… She began to tap through a few of Taylor’s apps, her social media accounts folder named ‘My Loves’, which included the Tumblr app, Twitter, Instagram, and various other ways to connect with Taylor’s fan base, her Swifties—The pulse of the Swifties’ synchronized heartbeats in one tiny little device, she felt a wave of power rush over her, one Tumblr post, one Tweet, an Instagram photo, all of it connected to millions of Swifties, around the world, an army ready to act on Taylor’s behalf at moment’s notice.

As Taylor returned to her seat, Sara placed the phone back on her lap pretending to have never looked at it, she handed the phone back to Taylor with a reassuring smile.

“HELLO!!! ARE WE GOING TO DO A SHOW OR NOT? You still have to go home, freshen up, red carpet, photos, AND WE HAVE NOT EVEN STARTED THE DRESS REHERSAL… Am I the only one who cares about this?”

“Jeff, they care, okay? It’s just that we’ve run through it 73 times. The show is already good.”

“Good is no good, you should know that CAROL!”

Carol rolled her eyes.

“Okay everyone, everyone, let’s take it from top! Places… PLACES!!!!” He paused. “Oh, Taylor, I have a note here that you had a change request to add a backing track during your performance of Lover?”

“Yes, that’s right.” She yelled back to the stage gleefully.

“Okay, well, make sure you get that track to the sound team as soon as we finish rehearsal!”

“Oh, I will.” Taylor’s eyes flashed Teen Wolf RED for the second time today.

@taylorswift

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thesinglesjukebox · 6 years ago

Video

youtube

TAYLOR SWIFT - YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN

[3.65]

The one that's on our mind, 365, all the time...

Will Rivitz: The Singles Jukebox -- Corrections, June 21 2019: The author of this blurb has previously stated that the selection of Meghan Trainor as LA Pride headliner would forever be the nadir of Pride-related programming. The author regrets the error. [1]

Joshua Copperman: The discourse for "ME!": "What does this mean for Taylor's next era?" The discourse for this lyrical clusterfuck: "What does this mean at all?" It's a much more interesting production, without stock horns and with some nice "Royals"-y vocal layering, but it's the most incoherent thing she's ever released. Is it about stans? Is it about homophobes? Is it a coming out song? Did Taylor throw the first shade at Stonewall? What is HAPPENING?? I'm sorry, I need to calm down. [3]

Will Adams: Taylor said "Gay Rights!" Kind of! Sort of. Well... it's complicated. Not necessarily because of her status as a cis straight woman, but because the message itself is so damn muddled. Stans and trolls and bigots and music journalists are lumped in the same mass of "haters," and while it's worth noting that this by no means the first anti-haters pop song to exist, the overt political text here results in lots of crossed wires. The song suffers as a result too, throwing half-formed catchphrases at the wall to see what sticks: the chorus is a melodic void (odd considering Taylor's songwriting strength); the "gowns" reference is too subtle to register; the patter results in odd scansion throughout ("like it's PUH-trón"); and "snakes and stones never broke my bones" is no more clever than "don't need opinions from a shellfish or a sheep." Speaking of Katy, also wrapped up in all this is a resolution of a beef that never seemed that important except as something for either party to mine for big single launches. It's all too much, especially for a not-bad track that fizzes just fine on its own. It'd be churlish to ask Taylor to take her own advice; for now all I ask for is coherence. [4]

Jonathan Bradley: Taylor Swift has always had a talent for deploying sharp and piquant phrases, the sorts of lyrics that tell blunt little stories like animated gifs. It's an opportunity for her to go broad and get funny: "Some indie record that's much cooler than mine," for instance, or "I can make the bad guys good for a weekend," or "I don't love the drama, it loves me." "You Need to Calm Down" is like an entire song built from these lines, and it whirls by like a Twitter thread or an Instagram story. Taylor sass is a lot of fun, and many of these ripostes are satisfyingly catty in their insouciance ("I'm just like, 'hey... are you OK?'" might be the best of these). Swift has shrugged off detractors on "Shake It Off" and "Mean," but she is more single-minded this time, and that focus paradoxically dilutes the intent. Swift's greatest strength as a songwriter is her interiority; she's adept at examining and interpreting her own feelings. But a consequence of that is that she is far less certain when she needs to step outside the bounds of her own head. The worst song she has ever released was a charity single called "Ronan," in which Swift sung in the voice of a mother who had lost her child to cancer; so talented at realizing her personal traumas, she proved incapable of reconstructing her sympathy for that bereavement in her own voice. "Calm Down" has some things to say about homophobia, and in this terrain outside her own experience, Swift's words are not so much unpleasant as awkward and a bit superficial, particularly in their uncertain invocation of "shade" as bigotry. (If stan theorists needed evidence that Swift is indeed as straight as she publicly presents, it's here: a queer Taylor would not have written a second verse as disengaged as that one.) But even diluted, Swift singles are still constructed tight. This one continues finding the pastel inversion of Reputation's skeletal synth sound, and echoes "ME!" with a hook of vowel sounds as palilalia -- "oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh..." this time, rather than "me-hee-hee." It's a tic that works -- in moderation. [7]

Alex Clifton: (Puts on music critic hat) It's stronger than "ME!" (which isn't hard but worth noting), I'm glad she takes swipes at homophobia but equating that with personal shots is a little bit weird, it's super catchy but the lyrics are still a little lacking, and I still can't remember all the words even though I have the melody memorized. (Takes off music critic hat, puts on bisexual Swiftie stan hat) EVERYTHING IS RAINBOWS AND MY BRAIN WON'T STOP SINGING THIS AND I WOULD MARRY TAYLOR SWIFT, HAPPY PRIDE!!!!! [5]

Alfred Soto: I'm sure it will sound fine on the radio, especially played beside "Bad Guy" and "Old Town Road." The maximalist intentions behind the Everest-sized synth bass and her rat-tat-tat delivery bespeak a mind that recognizes it's the one needing calm. Except for the "parade" line, I wouldn't have known this alludes to Pride if I hadn't watched the video. I don't feel pandered to as a queer man because, after all, a Pride parade is superficial performativity anyway. [6]

Katherine St Asaph: Give her this: the stacked-up arpeggio in the chorus is an absolutely brilliant hook, particularly the second time when it goes over the top. The rapid-fire prechorus is pretty good too. But the beat is the same freezer-burned "Paper Planes"/"With Ur Love"/"Send My Love (To Your New Lover)" chill, the accents are so far from the right syllables they've filed a misSING perSONS REport, the conflating of trolls with professional critics with the literal Westboro Baptist Church is bad (as is the weird class shit in the video, as if you can't be anti-gay and present like a Pleasantville star), and all this was done much better on "Mean." [5]

Katie Gill: In a way, this song is hellishly brilliant. Taylor Swift has provided her standom with a weapon, something that they can wield against any form of criticism. Want to write an article criticizing the fact that Swift seems to put "homophobia" and "me having internet bullies" on the same level, the fact that the video tactlessly paints rural Americana as the enemy of LGBTQ+ people instead of the Mike Pences of the world, or the fact that the second verse leans way too close to the sort of tactlessness that only aggressively woke allies can pull off? Expect a flock of Twitter replies telling you condescendingly that "you need to calm down" and "you're being too loud," as people ignore the half-assed condemnation of standom during the song's third verse in favor of using Swift's lyrics as a cudgel against any perceived haters. For all that Swift is trying to shed the sneaky snake image, traces of it still linger between the lines. [3]

Edward Okulicz: The people who said "Heartbeats" by The Knife was the future of music were right in 2003, and based on this, have now been right for 16 years and counting. That enormous synth-bass takes a song that should have been awful on paper (ugh, a thematic sequel to "This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things," which itself is why we can't have nice things, like good Taylor Swift songs), with the second verse featuring the worst lyrics Swift has ever written, and makes it frisky and playful. The "uh-oh uh-oh UH-OH!" hook is legitimately her best in years. Obsessing about someone is tedious, obsessing about those people is even more tedious, but for once, Swift sounds like she's legitimately above it, even if I don't think she knows what "shade" is. I wanted to hate this for its posturing, but I can't, because of the "uh-oh" bit. But just between you and me, I liked Katy Perry's last single more. [6]

William John: I'm always happy to hear songs that approximate the "Heartbeats" melody, and the layered vocals here sound lovely, but Dorian Corey didn't keep a mummy in her house for fifteen years for "shade" to be misinterpreted so flagrantly. [3]

Danilo Bortoli: Is it fair to demand political accountability from artists? The question remains thorny these days, but when Taylor Swift blatantly goes after pink money, the answer is yes, loud and clear. The case made for "You Need To Calm Down" has pulled the identity politics card (as usual, The Onion put it better). That is, Swift's song oversimplifies an ancient struggle for recognition, making up a narrative that isn't Taylor's to call her own. But what is more infuriating is the sugarcoating: the fact that pride should come only from within, and the naive and painful suggestion that a homophobe would go silent after a line as awful as "shade never made anybody less gay". That is to say, when it comes to protest, I prefer it the French way. Which is why all of this begs the question: Would you tell Richard Spencer to "calm down"? No, of course you wouldn't. [2]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: There are probably 2300 words elsewhere in this post about the politics and rhetoric of Taylor's words here (and I'll get to that), but first I feel obligated to talk about how "You Need To Calm Down" works on a purely musical level. It sounds like ass. It takes the bag of tricks that Swift used on "Ready For It?," the most musically captivating of Reputation's singles, and sands off all of their weird edges. Yes, there's a bass thump to welcome you in, but without the distortion it just sounds like Taylor's doing "Royals"-lite (I mean, Joel Little did produce.) And with the fangs off the verse, the lift to the chorus fails to land. It's all just sound, an undifferentiated, imperial wave of midtempo banger signifier without a real hook. Even Swift's vocals, which have always been her most compelling tool, can't sell the song's vibe -- she's confused not giving a fuck for calm. Of course, it's not entirely clear what "You Need To Calm Down"'s vibe, or point, even is. It's trying to be clever, with its winking references to stale LGBTQ and feminist symbology, but by conflating (or at least juxtaposing) those struggles with the problems that Taylor Swift has as a widely hated famous person, it ends up saying nothing at all. In the end, "You Need To Calm Down" is less a coherent song in itself than a Potemkin village to situate endless thinkpieces in. Make it stop. [3]

Ashley Bardhan: I know the title is "You Need To Calm Down" but there are no human words that can aptly describe how much I hate this song. Think of a young pigeon cooing as it flies through a fish market, weaving over and through the glistening crates of silver-scaled fish and ice. Oh no! There's a problem with a shipment! The owner angrily tosses a fat fish into the air, and its scales glint as it smacks the pigeon mid-air and onto the ground with the full brunt of its weight. The pigeon sees the fish market, its final flight, behind its closed eyes in a hurried blur. It weakly wheezes its final birdsong, and then... nothing. Yaaas, hunty. [0]

Iris Xie: 🤷 This is so tired, I can't even be that mad about it. The only question I have, because this song and MV isn't even worth a QTPOC-centered thinkpiece from me is this: when is the Post Malone + Swae Lee + Taylor Swift collaboration happening? This sounds so much like "Sunflower" and is just as deadening. Even the excitement of one of my besties sending me an ~*urgent*~ text message about Katy Perry and Taylor Swift making up over their imaginary feud, once they realized it hurt both of their fanbases, can't even ignite an ounce of care from me. (Bless your heart, my dear friend.) If she really wanted to pander to the gays, she could've just written a sequel to "Look What You Made Me Do" and become a slicker conduit for the less graceful parts about being in queer scenes, which can be about petty, messy drama, rather than being the subject of rage and apathy about being another harbinger of happy happy HAPPY gaypropriation. Like, whatever, she can have her extremely meaningless self-declared ally medal. I've been calm, just give me actual music. [2]

Isabel Cole: It's like this: A while ago I was catching up with an ex who mentioned he'd recently come back into contact with someone we'd known in high school -- acquaintance of his, frenemy of mine, a few sparkling months of giggling BFF-ship deteriorating across a year I spent defending her while she shit-talked my fashion sense in the girls' room to the local blabbermouth -- and he told me, with an ironic arch of the brow, that when my name had inevitably come up she'd said, "Isabel and I used to be so close; I wonder what happened." Reader, I spent like a week losing my mind, repeating the story and relitigating the history to anyone who would listen while bitterly making fun of her internet presence. Was this because I am petty and emotionally volatile? Yes. But it was also because there is a certain level of willful detachment from reality which I do not have the cognitive capacity to process adequately. Taylor Swift having the gall to tell any human on earth to calm down makes me feel insane the way it makes me feel insane to see someone citing as evidence of their incurable adolescent unpopularity the dorky AIM screenname they picked based on an affectionate joke I made. Taylor Swift saying "take several seats" makes me feel the same combination of spiteful and enraged as reading a line recycled from Livejournal in 2005: please learn like everyone else to disguise the extent to which the human brain is a machine wired to seek validation, the transparency of your desperation is making all of us uncomfortable! God, I wanna snub her in a lunchroom so bad. The song is unappealing in ways that barely merit mentioning -- verses that sound like they were reverse-engineered from a MIDI file of the superior but hardly sublime "Gorgeous," chorus that throws in the plodding piano of roaring bravery -- but even beyond the equivalency it implies between Twitter making fun of her and, like, hate crimes, I find the bridge particularly embarrassing, because of how artlessly it reveals its origin: Taylor Swift literally read a Tumblr post (or, the algorithm we call Taylor Swift processed several hundred Tumblr posts) from 2011 saying "stop pitting female artists against each other [handclap emoji etc.]!!!!!!!!!!!" and thought, Wow! Feminism! As for the possibility that this is another masterful turn from Taylor the troll (or troll!Taylor as there is a distressingly high chance she'd say) and by falling for it I've let her win: (1) Taylor Swift is always already winning, this is exactly what Marx was talking about (2) Let me kick it back to my ex one more time: when I asked what she was like these days, he considered and said: "I thought she'd developed self-awareness, but then I realized it was just self-identification." Yeah. [1]

Scott Mildenhall: You know sometimes, when you read the annotations on genius.com, how their deductions and inferences appear to have been made by algorithm? For instance, the notion that this being released on that loud American guy's birthday "seems to support the theory" that one line is about him? This is what would happen if that algorithm was tasked with writing a satirical song. [5]

Stephen Eisermann: My take? This is more lazy allyship than commercialization of pride. Plus, it's kind of a bop. Sucks, then, that Taylor completely misunderstands what shade is -- but did we really expect any better? [6]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

#Taylor Swift #pop #music #music review #writing

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lezzybugo3o · 7 years ago

Text

Moral Fibers

(Back at it again with another Linksona fic!)

Summary: While getting her companion Wolf Link checked for an illness, Swift comes across some fellow Hylians who are less than pleasant.

Swift paced back and forth near the stable. Recently, she and her buddy Wolf Link, now dubbed Twilight by her, had been traveling in the Faron region when the canine had suddenly fallen ill. Wasting no time, she took him to the nearest stable where thankfully one of the handlers there offered to take a look. Now she was just waiting for the results.

“Miss Swift?” The handler peaked out from the tent. “You may come in now.”

She walked into the tent a little fast, anxious to hear his findings. “So? What’s wrong with him?”

“It seems your pooch here has ingested something he shouldn’t have. What was the last thing you fed him?”

The Hylian thought for a moment and upon coming to her conclusion, she chuckled nervously. “I, um...I may have fed him some spicy meat. It was all we had at the time.”

The handler sighed heavily as he shook his head. “Miss, you would have been better off feeding him raw meat. You hunt, don’t you?”

“She does, but she was too lazy to go and shoot a damn fox for me!” Twilight snarled before groaning in pain.

The stable hand pet Twilight’s fur before looking to Swift. “I have a remedy for him but I require your assistance. Do you have two hydromelons? I’ll need to mix them with some ingredients of my own to ease his pain and get his stomach back to its natural self.”

The young hero perked up as she searched her bag. Sure enough, she pulled out two Hydromelons. “Here they are!” She then snickered. “Hey, Twilight.~ What do you think of these melons?” Swift joked holding them to her chest.

“Do that again and I swear I’m going to bite your head clean off then chuck your body off a cliff!” growled the wolf.

Swift quickly gave the Hydromelons to the handler. “Alright, alright! Geez, it was only a joke! I’ll be outside with Dawson.” She walked out of the tent to find her trusty horse Dawson nibbling on the feed the stable provided. She smiled and patted his neck, his black coat warm to the touch. “Hey there, big guy. Least you don’t chew my head off on a weekly basis.” The horse turned and nuzzled his rider, making her laugh. “Awww, you big sweetie. You’re definitely getting some Endura carrots for that.” The Hylian then went to the front of the stable where she caught sight of a familiar figure: the traveling merchant Beedle. With a big smile, she ran to him. “Yo, Beedle!”

The merchant looked up and gave a startled yelp when she tackled him in a hug, making him fall back. “Gah! Easy, friend! I’ve got delicate wares here!”

“Heh heh, sorry about that.” She helped him up to his feet. “I just haven’t seen you in such a long time. The last time I saw you was when you were freezing your ass off at the Tabantha stable.” Swift then put her hands on her hips and scolded him, “Seriously who wears shorts and a tank top in snowy weather?”

Beedle nervously scratched his head. “Eh heh heh, yeah, I should really invest in some snow clothes. Oh hey, listen. I need to do some business with the stable hands here before my next trip. Could you watch my stuff while I talk to them?”

The female Hylian gave a thumbs up and a grin. “Sure thing! And don’t worry, I’ll pay for anything I take from your pack.”

“Awesome!” He set the large pack down and stretched his back before heading over to the stable owner.

Swift stretched herself while keeping her eyes squarely on Beedle’s backpack. She wondered he could secretly turn it into a small tent that he could crawl into. Her thoughts were then interrupted when she noticed two Hylian men coming up and eyeing up the wares. “Hi there! I’m sorry but the owner of that pack is away at the moment, but he should be back in a while.”

The taller Hylian named Noren saw her and smirked. “Well, hello there, missy. What’s a cute little thing like you doing all the way out here?”

“I’m traveling around Hyrule with my trusty horse horse and my buddy Twilight. We’re just taking a breather here before heading to Rito Village to check out that giant bird in the sky.”

The shorter of the two Hylian men named Gori came closer to her. “Aren’t you a brave one? Sounds like an awful lot of work for one tiny gal. Why don’t you come with us and we’ll show you a good time?”

Normally Swift would be up for hanging out with a couple of guys, but there was something off about these two that made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up a bit. “Look, boys. I’d love to but I’m gonna have to pass.”

Noren got much closer to her and put his arm around her, already a breach in her personal bubble. “Awww scared your boyfriend is gonna find out?” His hand traveled down to her side which made her shiver in discomfort. “He doesn’t have to know.”

The female Hylian had enough of this as she stepped on his foot hard. “Back off, you creep!”

Gori grabbed her arm rather forcefully. “The hell is your problem, lady? We’re just trying to make your first time a good one.”

With no hesitation, Swift growled back, “You boys are a hundred years too late to that party. I already lost my virginity to someone with ten times more charm in her than you scumbags have in your pinkies!” She kneed Gori in his crotch which made him let go of her arm to clutch his groin with a yelp.

Noren snarled and pulled out a knife. “I’ll forgive the unpleasantries you gave us if you give us that pack near you. If not, this is gonna get ugly for you, missy and I really don’t wanna have to put this knife into your pretty little face.”

As if unimpressed, Swifty grabbed a nearby sword and pointed to him. “You really don’t wanna do that. I wasn’t made Zelda’s knight for no reason.”

Noren bit back a gulp and tried to slash at her, but she moved out of the way and brought her elbow down on his back hard. Unfortunately Gori grabbed her from behind and held her in a chokehold. She screamed and bit at his arm which made him yell but he still kept his grip on her. Just when she thought was done for, a rock hit Noren on the head. They all turned to see the owner of the stable and some of his stablehands. “Let her go before we grab the horses and run you scoundrels down!”

Swift took advantage of the distraction and stomped hard on Gori’s foot which finally made him let go. She picked up the sword she dropped and with a very upset voice, roared, “Get out of here now before I slice you both to ribbons and use your heads for target practice!”

Gori and Noren knew they couldn’t afford to fight that many men and a crazed young lady at once, so they picked up their belongings and ran off.

Beedle heard the commotion and hurried to Swift’s side. “Swift! You alright? I heard screaming.”

She panted before giving her answer, “I’m okay. Some jerks wanted to use me and steal your stuff. No biggie though, they’re gone now.”

“Ahh, Windy, you didn’t have to do that for me. Your life is way more important than my wares,” said Beedle, afraid he might have put his friend in unnecessary danger.

Swift Wind rubbed the spot she grabbed at and just smirked. “Hey you told me to keep an eye on your stuff and I agreed. No turning back on that.”

The merchant was surprised but gave a small smile. “Well, can you promise me not to risk your life for my things again? Hyrule still needs its hero.”

Swifty grinned and nodded. “Okay then. Just for you, pal.”

The handler from earlier came to her and informed, “Good news, Miss Wind. Your wolf is feeling much better.”

“Really? Wow, you sure work fast, sir. What do I owe you?”

The handler did a quick calculation and stated, “I’d say you owe me about 100 rupees. And please no more spicy food for your companion.”

Swift handed over a small bag containing the full amount. “Believe me, I won’t. Not unless I want fire to come out of his butt.” She noticed the handler’s unamused look and quickly put her hands up. “Kidding! I’m kidding! I’m uh, gonna go pay him a visit now.” She darted toward the tent and found Twilight sleeping soundly on a mat. She thought about telling him what had happened to her with the two scoundrels, but shrugged and pet the wolf’s head, figuring she could tell him later.

#swift wind #swifty #windy #linksona #linksonaparty #wolf link #beedle #fanfiction #fanfic #my fic

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red-putation · 7 years ago

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Soooo since I’m very new to the Swiftie side of tumblr I’d like to introduce myself to y’all (and maybe hopefully to Taylor too…lol yeah right but I can dream) -My name is Kiera (Key-Air-Uh) -I don’t know about you, but I’m feelin 22! (My birthday is May 15th!) -I’m from Houston TX, and have been to every Taylor event in Houston since the Fearless Tour. -I’m about to become the very first person in my family to graduate from university! I’ll have a bachelor of science in psychology

-I still wear glasses, but I have braces on my teeth now so I don’t smile as much as I probably should.

-I’ve been a die-hard Swiftie since 2009. The first album I ever owned was the Platinum Edition of ‘Fearless’. Since I was in middle school at the time my friends and family were like “oh it’s just a teeny-bopper phase she’ll grow out of it” but joke’s on them cause it’s been 10 years and I’m still here for Taylor, and I always will be.

-I’ve seen Taylor live eight times 1. Fearless Tour Houston (day 2) 5/26/10 2. Speak Now Tour Greensboro 6/30/11 (I was visiting family, and made a sign that said “I came from Texas for a T-Party with Taylor”. Unfortunately it did not get me noticed, lol) 3. Speak Now Tour Houston 11/5/11 4. Red Tour Houston 5/16/13 (IN THE PIT THANKS TO TAYLOR NATION PRESALE) 5. 1989 Tour Houston 9/9/15 6. Super Saturday Night 2/4/17 (the first and second pics are from the AT&T Fan Party where I won the tickets, and the pink-tinted pic was inside the club before the show!) 7. Reputation Tour Houston 9/29/19 8. Reputation Tour Arlington (day 2+Netflix special) 10/6/18 The 9th time will be at Lover Fest West Day 2! -While I obviously love talking about Taylor, I’d be super happy to chat with anyone about anything. I like raving over other music artists and concerts. If another band just released a new single and you have no friends to fangirl about it with, come let me know and I’ll help ya hype it up. I’m a much better listener than I am a talker, so I can listen to someone rant about almost anything and not get bored or tired of it. -Here’s where things are not-so happy, but I’m not afraid to talk about it…I have depression, social anxiety, and general anxiety/panic attacks. This means that my ability to freak out over Taylor is hindered by thoughts of “stop that you look stupid” and “shut up no one cares anyway”. To be completely honest I’m actually terrified of meeting Taylor because I’m so conscious about how hard I’ll probably be crying or how she’ll think of me or how awful I’ll look in the pictures while standing next to a real life angel goddess. However, it’s also because of these mental illnesses that I really DO want to hug her one day and personally thank her for comforting me, for giving me hope and reasons to be happy…and, on the really bad days where I feel like giving up for good, for saving my life. -Oh goodness this ended up being super duper long so if you actually read this whole thing I seriously commend you and thank you and give you lots of virtual sweets. It’s really hard to fathom someone actually taking the time to get to know me a little bit, so thank you endlessly. I hope to finally make a few Swiftie friends, and look forward to talking to so many beautiful people here. -Taylor, if this ever finds your way to you, by some wonder of wonders and miracle of miracles, I love you far beyond what words are able to convey, and I’ll always love you and support you even if I’m not very vocal about it. I’m not the “shout at the top of my lungs on a rooftop” kind of fan that typically gets noticed. As I mentioned, I have anxiety, and I’m a very timid person in general. I wear your t-shirts (I have 21, plus a hoodie), your leather bracelets, and your Red tour Keds. If I hear one of your songs playing in a store I’ll smile and mouth the words. I won’t blabber on and on about you to some stranger, even though I certainly could. I have your posters on my wall. I keep at least one of your CD’s in my car, and will listen to them alone. I’ll always find a way to see your shows, even if I can only afford the back of the nosebleed sections. You may never ever notice or know about those small gestures, but I continue to do them, and will never stop doing them, with pride and with love for you.

#swifties #taylor swift #taylornation #taylurking #taylor nation #swiftie #taylorswift13 #lover

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tommydarlings · 4 months ago

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That’s exactly what I mean when I tell people that hozier is not only a good singer but also a good person.

And I think I even once heard that if there would be the possibility for the ticket prices to be even lower, he would immediately make them cheaper.

just saw hozier live and he thanked everyone for using their hard earned money to come see him and support him. yeah you would never find taylor having that sentiment.

for reference my ticket was 80 dollars.

the cheapest ticket i found for taylor’s upcoming show was 549 dollars. (i compared multiple third party sellers)

and i haven’t even mentioned how all art is political. and how hozier chooses to uplift ceasefires. he encouraged us to contact our u.s. representatives. how is opener (a black queer person) thanked hozier for creating a world where it’s safe for her.

#uh oh the swifties won’t like this one #anti taylor swift #anti billionaire #anti ttpd #swifties dni #hozier #anti capitalism

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theswiftarmy · 5 years ago

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#21 - A Hip Hop, Record Skip, And A Jump Away To Ye’s House We Go

WRITER: A quick personal note just in case Taylor Swift does ever Taylurk this story one day. I would never interrupt you or steal your mic from you, EXCEPT under one sole singular condition and that is if I were telling you “The Interrupting Cow” knock-knock joke. In which case, I would need to interrupt you with a moo after you said the line “The interrupting cow who?” as I would then be required to moo in an interrupting manner in order to complete the joke. But other than that, I would not interrupt you. If you have not heard the interrupting cow knock-knock joke, it goes as follows:

Me: Knock-knock.

Taylor: Who’s there?

Me: The Interrupting Cow.

Taylor: The Interrupting Cow who?

Me: MOOOOOOOOOOO

The helicopter landed in Kim and Kanye’s backyard after a quick stop at LAX to drop off Ariana Grande and Scooter Braun so that they could jet off in Ariana’s private jet in time to make her show in Tampa, Florida—and of course, if they didn’t make the show in time, there’s always fashionably late. All of Ariana’s Arianators were to travel with her and attend her show, but, after one of her Arianators asked over and over during the entire helicopter ride from Oak Felder’s studio to LAX it was decided the vocal one of her Arianators would stay behind to “help take care of Justin”. But let’s be honest, she really just used it as an excuse to take selfies with Kim Kardashian West, or as this particular Arianator put it, ‘that was just an added bonus’.

“Are you hungry? Did you eat lunch?” Kim asked greeting them at the backyard helipad.

“Yes Kim, we already ate at Oak’s place.” The Arianator influencer didn’t hesitate to take the reins of the conversation. “Kim, can I call you Kim? Or should I call you Mrs. Kardianshian West? Or how about Karshi?”

“Don’t call me Karshi. You may call me Kim.”

“Kim! Pal—buddy, friend, can I call you friend? We’re friends now right? How do you feel about a selfie with me?”

Justin pushed her aside, “I’m sorry, she’s just a little excited from the helicopter ride. She’s never ridden in a helicopter before.”

“Uh, yeah I have!” The influencer argued. “I’ve been in a helicopter, like, three times. Obvs you don’t follow my Insta—”

Kim kindly intervened, “It’s okay. Sure, I’ll take a selfie with you.”

“YAAAASSSSSS!” The teenage Arianator squeed, “We’ll have to take a tour of your house first so I can decide which part of the house is the best to take the photo. The lighting will have to be just right—“

“First, let’s talk business before all that.” Scott insisted.

The Arianator waved his comment away, “I have a better idea, how about you boys go with Kanye to talk fun and games, and Kim and I will go on a tour and talk about the best place to take some photos and do a quick video interview—“

“Well, I don’t know about a video interview—“ Kim said hesitantly.

“Oh, you’ll be fine! Don’t worry; I’ve written a whole script out on my phone in the notes app, I typed it all up in the helicopter while we were on the way here. Mrs. K, can I ask where your computer room or office is? I need a printer to use, don’t worry, I’ll even print it out for you, or I could just email the script to you, what’s your email? By the way, do you have a shoe closet? I’m making a YouTube video series about ‘out of this world’ shoe closets—well, we can talk more about that as we walk, let’s walk and talk. Actually, Kim my friend, change of plans, I need to borrow some of your makeup first, I’ve got to touch up before the photo shoot and video interview—”

The Arianator took Kim’s hand and led her off without giving Kim a chance to say otherwise. Kim looked over her shoulder with a look that said ‘don’t leave me with this teenager’. The others waved and smiled back at her as the Arianator pulled her away from the group.

The remaining members of the group moved to a brightly lit sitting area where they discussed the reason for the visit with Kanye West. They sipped various fancily made beverages kindly provided by the West’s personal bartender.

“You want me to do what?” Kanye said after listening to the plan. “I don’t know, I’m just not in that business anymore. That’s the old me—no matter how bad the Scoots needs me, by the way, where is he?”

“Scooter? He’s on his way to Ariana’s show.” The Biebs replied. Kanye nodded back. Justin took a sip of his drink. “This drink is pretty yummy… mmmm… hey that’s a good idea for a song! Yummy. I think my next single that I drop, I’m gonna call it ‘Yummy’. What do ya think?”

“I like it. I think you should do it JB.” Kanye said lifting his own drink to clink with Justin’s glass.

“Yummy, yeah I like it Ye.”

Scott sat across from Ye and JB in the comfortable living room sitting area also sipping a beverage from a glass. “Well, there’s a little more to the situation than just interrupting Taylor’s Artist of the Decade acceptance speech.”

“Yeah, you said that— her backing track is bad, and you need a distraction to change it out. Trust me, I made that girl famous, I know exactly what she needs in her live act, she needs a little of The King himself…”

“Elvis?” Scott asked wondering how much Kanye already knew.

“NO. She needs a little bit of Jesus—”

“Well, urm… we’re talking about the other King, Elvis.” Oak replied.

“There’s only one King.” Kanye said back, dead serious.

“Okay, well, we’re talking about Elvis then, or specifically a sound brought into this world, or captured, by the engineer involved with his recording process.” Scott said trying to be more specific.

Kanye sighed. “Like I said, I work for the Lord now. The only recording process I do is for Jesus.” Kanye replied, becoming disinterested in the favor asked of him. He looked out the window at his kids playing and smiled.

“Which is exactly why we need you!” Oak pleaded. “See, the sound that Taylor is going to add behind her track isn’t just any old sound…”

They went on to explain the egg track and how the sound seems to be the devil from rock and roll that the squares from the 1950s feared, it was replicating itself in audio form and is being used to place fans under mind control, or something along those lines.

“…and anyway,” Oak said finishing up the explanation, “so Scott here—just like anyone who ever started singing ‘The Song That Never Ends’—not knowing what it was, unleashed the devil sound into the world. A sound that the engineer for Elvis, this guy named Bill Porter, attempted to capture and contain… That is, until Scott here put it in Taylor Swift’s music.”

“Honest mistake.” Scott said, shrugging his shoulders.

Kanye sat up in his chair now curious about the devil sound, “Well why didn’t you say so! That’s my jam! I’m all about an audio exorcism.”

“We don’t quite need you to do that,” Oak answered back, “We just need you to help interrupt her long enough that we can stop her from playing it on live television and spreading it.”

“Alright. I’m in. But only because you seem to need the one and only Ye.” Kanye replied in a preacher-esk voice. “Let me assemble my Sunday Service—“

“No, no, we only need you.” Oak said squarely.

“Are you sure?” Kanye asked, his hand pulling back from a large SS button he had pulled out of a hidden compartment, “I really think my Sunday Service—“

“The Sunday Service will draw too much attention.” The lawyer added.

Kanye pushed the SS button back into its compartment and placed his hands in front of him in a prayer like way but touching only the fingertips together with his fingers spread out, in order to think about it. He went deep into thought, sitting there, not moving. They waited quietly for his answer. “Well, alright, but I’ll keep them on standby should we need their help.”

“I’m okay with that.“ Everyone else nodded in agreement with Scott. “So, the plan is for you to interrupt her right before she gives her speech.” Scott said while pulling out an old-fashioned spiral bound notebook to make a few notes. He then turned to look over at Carl also holding his own notebook and making notes with his trademark red pen.

“She’s scheduled to give her acceptance speech before she performs the medley.” The lawyer added. “There’s speculation that if she finds out what we’re up to she may move the performance so that it happens before the speech, but we’re confident that won’t happen.”

“I can do this.” Kanye said in a slightly excited tone.

“We know you can. You’ve done it before, Ye.” Justin Bieber said half joking but half cheering him on. “You got this!”

“I made that girl famous!” Kanye shouted jumping up. Now ready and pumped to take on the devil sound that rock and roll failed to contain—the sound about to be unleashed once again across national television by Taylor Swift and her Swiftie attorney, Sara.

“Yes, you already said that. We know... You made her famous.” Scott said back suddenly irritated, he looked at his watch. Now that Kanye was on board they really needed to get going. Scott Borchetta thought about countering Kanye with the fact that HE was the one who first found and signed Taylor Swift, making it him, and not Kanye West the one to make Taylor Swift famous, but that would be a debate for another time.

“I won’t let her finish!” Kanye shouted as he jumped into the air energetically.

“No no, let her finish, just, interrupt her.” Oak corrected. “Like that interrupting cow joke. I love that joke.”

“Sorry, it’s been a while, I’m a little rusty, let me try this again. Okay, I got it. I’m gonna be like—” Kanye made like he was holding an invisible mic as he stood in the center of the room, “Taylor, Imma let you finish… but first… Knock knock… Who’s there… The interrupting cow… Interupting cow who… Interupting cow MOOOOO!”

Justin interrupted Kanye, “I mean, I don’t know if I would use the interrupting cow joke to interrupt Taylor, but you do you Kanye, you do you. Also, I would argue that if anything maybe she made YOU more famous. Or perhaps you both made each other famous?”

Kanye made a face at Bieber like ‘bruh, what’s your deal? We’re supposed to have each other’s backs, “Is he serious right now? What’s his deal? And why is he wearing those headphones.” Kanye asked Oak.

“He’s infected with an earworm.” Oak replied.

“A what?” Ye inquired confused.

Oak explained how The Amen Break samples when layered in and mastered within a song would interact with the Elvis noise to produce infectious results such as the Earworm songs that could be used to take down any opponent standing in the way of Taylor and her Swiftie music war against Scooter.

“I’m sorry man, Gomez really got you good. Damn, you guys really do need my help. Okay I’m in. Time to save the world. If there’s one thing Kanye does best it’s saving people, it’s time for Ye to be what he was meant to be!”

“Sounds good.” Scott said finishing the last sip of his drink. “Game plan time. We’ll FaceTime Billie Eilish from the helicopter to update her on the timing of things—”

Oak ejected a small USB flash drive from his MacBook Pro that he had been working on the whole time while they were talking. “We’ll need to meet Billie to hand her this drive so she can upload the sound into the American Music Awards sound system and overwrite the change. It has a placebo sound. I’ve also layered in some frequencies that I think may temporarily un-Swiftify any Swifties that have only recently been exposed to the sound in case Taylor has been using it to directly blast attack anyone who might find out what she’s up to. It’s all theoretical of course based on some of my old thesis papers. It could just have no effect at all. But, right now, we need anything we can get.”

Justin pulled out one of his twelve phones, “Wait, Billie just texted me back and said that she’ll help BUT ONLY if it can be kept secret and if we can assure her that nothing will happen to her brother.” Justin read the message out loud. “Okay, I’m texting her back not to say anymore and that I’ll give her a secret number to one of my other 11 phones. But I have to give her the number in person. I don’t trust Taylor isn’t monitoring our messages on this phone. That number will be a safe number to call us on right before the show starts or should something unexpected go down. It will be a secure phone just for Billie to call me.”

“If she’s texting with you and Taylor is monitoring the phone, then how is it a secret?” Scott asked.

“She’s using Belieberspeak.”

“What?” Scott replied.

“It’s a code I use to chat with my Beliebers that Taylor shouldn’t be able to figure out, although now that she’s turned a few of them into Swifties—like the one who stole my cat on the rooftop of Big Machine Records—she may have broken the code with their help. I hold out hope that any Belieber turned Swiftie would keep Belieberspeak a secret.”

“So, Billie’s a Belieber?” Pop asked after not saying a word the whole time, sitting quietly and listening to the entire conversation.

“It’s complicated. She was before she created The Avocados. I’ll explain it some other time. She’s still a Belieber in a way, but she’s also of her own way now because she has her own followers.”

“This is fascinating stuff. A little hard to keep track of, but fascinating nonetheless.” Carl sipped an ice water. “Anyway, everything is set then, I’ve called in a favor from a friend of mine named Banksy—it’s not the same Banksy as the artist, this is a different one, he’s a money guy who does banking stuff so he calls himself Banksy as well he was born long before the artist Banksy was born and was already calling himself Banksy before the other Banksy started making art—”

“Fascinating stuff, Carl, a little hard to keep track of, but fascinating nonetheless.” Justin poked fun and then laughed, he leaned over and fist pumped Kanye.

“—Anyway, as I was saying, before Justin here mockingly interrupted me… we’re cleared to land on the roof of one of the nearby banks—We could land at the Ritz Carlton right beside the Microsoft Theater as they do have a helipad on the roof, but Taylor was given a complimentary suite there, most luxurious one in the place I might add. It’s best for us to keep a little distance and approach in secret. My contact at the bank will meet us and take us to the American Music Awards. Is everyone on the same page here?”

Everyone nodded, ready to head out.

“Okay.” The lawyer put away his notebook and red pen.

The Arianator Influencer returned from her grand tour of the house just as the group had finished finalizing plans.

“Keep an eye on this one, she’s going places.” Kim said smiling.

“Well thank you Kim! I keep TRYING to tell everyone that! I know I’m going places, it’s just a matter of convincing everyone else of that.”

Kim Laughed. “Well, it was a pleasure to meet you. What did you say your name was again?”

“Why Kim Kardashian West, I thought you would never ask! My name is Kim too! Well, almost, it’s Kymmie with a “y”. The ‘y’ is after the ‘k‘, okay? With an ‘ie’ at the end. You look confused, here let me write it down for you, that way you’ll have it. And also here’s all my social media accounts so you can friend and follow and like share and subscribe.” She pulled out a pen and wrote quickly in her notebook then tore a part of the page away handing a piece of torn off pink notebook paper to Kim Kardashian West. “Okay, call me! We’ll setup another get together. I have so many ideas for collabs between us. Oh my God, I can’t wait to meet up again!”

The group boarded the helicopter with Kanye West now part of their quest. Once seated Oak handed him one of the headphone cases that Ariana and Scooter declined to accept earlier, he explained how it worked. Kim Kardashian West stood beside her kids as the helicopter lifted into the air. They waved back at the helicopter as it turned and headed for downtown LA to meet Carl Lyle Lawyer’s friend Banksy, not THE Banksy, just a dude that works for a bank called ‘A Private Bank’ who just happened to also coincidentally be named Banksy. The plan was to rendezvous with Billie and her brother in order to hand off the flash drive just after the red carpet and then to sneak Kanye into the event. What could possibly go wrong?

#knockknock #whosthere #interuptingkanye #yummy

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