#ughhh again its whatever

[gurokuni]

bro i might have to move accounts i just wish this were my primary blog but tumbr doesnt allow you to change admins which i think is so dumb but whatever!

so if i end up making a post about moving accounts in the near future do not be shocked :p i just wish i had made separate logins if i knew id have this issue. never been a tumblr guy so i had no idea

[aroace-shumika]

update i did while i was on post limit

[red-dyed-sarumane]

i get having a lack of self confidence & the urge to put urself down or admit faults upfront but you have to stop. yes it feels wrong not to but you have to use all ur strength and not say it Especially on a post showcasing your work. its fine to feel that way but to constantly say it is reinforcing things that very often arent even true. but just stopping outright is impossible so here's what you're going to do instead. pick one thing about ur work. any one thing. it doesnt have to be big it can be so small the average person wont notice it at first. but u need to find at least one thing. and you're going to say either u like how it turned out or that u had fun doing it. and you are going to focus on feeling good about that part instead of putting down the whole work. and little by little as u keep doing this you'll start to look forward to whatever it is you're creating because you're not punishing yourself for it anymore. and when you look forward to it, you want to do it more, and the more you do it, the more refined your process gets, the more parts of it you'll find yourself satisfied with, and before you know it that need to excuse all the imperfections in your work disappears. please stop punishing yourselves for no reason

[badolmen]

Here we go again…

[emilypemily]

incapacitated on the sofa rewatching she ra and man I always feel bad about how much I do not relate to and do not connect to glimmer

[youreaclownnow]

Rereading ajin this week was a great choice on numerous counts, most importantly of all is it helped me pin down the speed at which I would like to someday write my REDCHURCH ocverse story at. The time frame is objectively not long, and the time skips are used wisely yet sparingly.

I'll have to really study it at some point, to understand the storytelling complexities there/how it's precisely built, but i know it's the kinda thing I WANT out of it. There's enough quiet moments for the action portions to not feel overwhelming, but the story moves quick enough to not be boring even once. The ending is also spot on the type of thing I'd want to do. An intense, last battle, and a short bit of epilouge as the characters move on to live a more normal life. It's bittersweet in a way that feels right, is an arguably easy ending to achieve, and leaves things open for any future projects.

[chiistarri]

imsoo normal about guys byw

[nomaishuttle]

KILLING MYSELFFFFFFFF

[reputationstaylors]

this thing just reinforces that my mom would've liked me better if I was prettier

[dockaspbrak]

Im soooo sad lol; i miss everything. I see the way people fit in to their parents house like theyre a welcome addition and i freakin ache wishing I could know what thats like

[starry-toya]

one positive aspect of today's meltdown was that I can finally confirm that i, in fact, do feel real, negative things even when I'm not sleep deprived!! yay!!!

[sw33t-oubliette]

hm . Not doing great . Ah well

[suzakus-canon-wife]

I'm so tired and depressed today man what the fuck is wrong with me actually

[atohii]

neighbors handle your dog challenge (impossible)

[dollfaceksj]

met him last night | ksj (m) pt. 2

➥ PAIRING: seokjin x fem!reader

➥ SUMMARY: You’ve worked in the office with Kim Seokjin for quite some time but you never really pay attention to him. He’s basically your stereotypical introverted nerd with complimentary glasses decorating his eyes and sweater vests clinging to his torso. Coincidentally, you bump into him outside of work. You’re in for the shock of your life when you find some stuff out about him.

➥ GENRE: smut ⋆ plot twist ⋆ porn with plot

➥ CATEGORY: two-shot

➥ WARNINGS: explicit sexual content, bigdick!seokjin is real, protected sex, couch sex, praise kink, oral sex (rec m & f), face fucking, fingerfucking, cumshot on tits, cumshot on ass, little plottwist, doggy style, pinning arms back, cocky!seokjin, denied orgasm, missionary, minors DNI

➥ WORDCOUNT: 6.5k

a/n: ughhh i can’t believe its finally done! part 2 (and final part) to mhln !!! not betaread or anything so ignore any mistakes plsss hope u like it <3333 tell me ur thoughts <3

⋆ TAGLIST ⋆

⇠ PREV. ⋆ MASTERLIST ⋆ NEXT ⇢

You quickly straighten your back up, trying to hide your nerves with your eyes still glued to him, intently watching as he makes his way over to you. You lean back into your sofa, glancing up at him as he places his knee next to your thigh and his hand next to your head against the backrest of your sofa.

His other hand moves forward to tilt your chin up, his thumb gently caressing your jaw. “It’s a shame, truly,” he mumbles as he uses his thumb to start wiping off whatever is left of your lipgloss, bringing his gloss-covered thumb to his lips to lick it clean.

Your brows pinch together at his words. You swallow, an attempt at drowning out your nerves before asking, “What is?”

Silence settles around you for a few seconds before he decides to speak again.

“That I’ll ruin your pretty makeup.”

Those are the last words that leave his mouth before he hunches over you and presses his plump lips to yours. The finger that was previously on your chin travels down your jaw to your neck, gently wrapping his hand around your throat to pull your face closer to his.

You’re just about to return the kiss when he abruptly pulls back, face still a centimeter away from yours as he glances down at your lips. “You’re gorgeous,” he mumbles before plopping down on the couch next to you and tugs you to him by your waist, motioning for you to sit on his lap.

It’s almost embarrassing how quickly you hike your skirt up to lunge at him, throwing your thigh over his and climbing onto his lap. He sinks further into your couch and shifts his gaze up to your face, plump bottom lip trapped between his teeth as his hands tightly grip onto your hips.

He lets your hands roam his chest, letting you feel every dip and muscle as you look down at him through hooded eyelids, hands moving up to cup his face. Your face closes in on his, your lips softly pressing against his pillowy ones in a heated kiss.

His hands tighten their grip on your hips, fingers sinking into the fabric of your skirt which makes you yelp against his mouth. It gives him the chance to lick into your mouth and he does.

He tastes like tomato sauce and basil.

You wrap your arms around his neck in an attempt to pull him even closer, your breasts pressed flat into his chest.

His hands slide down the sides of your thighs, giving them a soft squeeze. His tongue dances around yours, head tilting to the side to close whatever distance was still in between you two.

Your hips involuntarily jolt and grind into his groin, a soft moan sliding up the back of your throat at the friction. A low grunt rumbles in his chest, his own hips bucking up into your core, returning the favor.

His erection hardens under your sex and your mouth salivates at the thought of his massive dick, you want to taste him. You want to taste him real bad.

You pull away from his lips with a deep inhale and say, “Fuck, I want to suck you off.”

His eyes shift up to stare into yours, an unreadable expression on his features. You can’t help but glance down at his swollen lips as you await his response, trying to ignore the uncomfortable feeling of your panties sticking to your sex.

“Not beating around the bush anymore, hm?” A cocky grin tugs at the corners of his lips as he sinks even further into your couch, adjusting his hips in his seat to help you slide off his lap.

You get onto your knees in front of him, the cold tiles sending a shiver up your spine. You slowly travel your hands up his leg, softly squeezing his soft skin when your hands arrive at his thighs.

“Pull me out.”

The words leave his mouth filled with so much arrogance that you can’t help but reach for his belt straight away, unbuckling it with a quickness. Your eyes travel up his figure, glancing up at him through your pretty lashes but he’s already staring back at you, hand reaching up and resting on top of your head.

He lifts his hips off the couch to help you slide his pants down and he instantly palms himself through his boxers, his other hand moving down your face to tilt your chin up. “You’re so pretty.”

Your teeth sink into your bottom lip at his compliment, creating a tightness in your stomach and a squeeze in your core, pussy clenching around absolutely nothing.

You tuck your fingers under the hem of his boxers and slowly tug them down, watching in anticipation as his dick springs free from under the hem.

What the fuck?

Your eyes widen as you stare at his erection, it’s still hardening and it’s already bigger than any dick you’ve ever seen before. Big veins trail down his dark shaft, the head of his dick begging for attention.

A chuckle makes his chest rumble when he sees your reaction. His hand wraps around the base of his shaft, causing him to hiss at the touch, a soft grunt pushing past his lips. Your eyes shift to the precum leaking from his tip and you almost drool all over his slacks.

“How the fuck is that supposed to fit literally anywhere?” you grumble, eyes glancing up at him for the first time since seeing his dick and he’s just got a smug smirk sitting on his gorgeous lips.

“You can take it,” he quips, “can’t you?”

Oh.

Well, now you want to do just that.

He places his other hand on your cranium as he moves the tip of his dick across your lips, smearing them full of his precum. You continue to stare at him, never once breaking eye contact, giving him the best doe-eyes you can muster.

“Just tap me twice if it becomes too much,” he adds, a sincere look in his eyes. You nod to his words, placing your hands on his thighs as you mentally prepare yourself to have destroyed vocal cords tomorrow morning.

“Now, stop looking at me with those innocent eyes and open up that pretty mouth like a good girl.”

You don’t hesitate for a second after hearing his words, parting your lips to take him into your mouth almost immediately after. You lower your head, wrapping your lips around the head and you gently start sucking on it. The hiss leaving his mouth tells you that he enjoys that, making you push your tongue flat against his slit and swirl it around to collect his salty precum on your tastebuds.

His hand tenses on top of your head and his hips unexpectedly buck up, making you gag. You keep his dick in your mouth but glare up at him, just in time to see him give you a sheepish, apologetic smile. You grunt as you lower your head again, your saliva rolling down his shaft as you try to take as much as you can of him into your mouth.

“Holy shit,” whispers Seokjin, hand delicately stroking your hair.

You grab onto the base of his dick with both hands and let your saliva roll down your fingers to lube them up enough to pump the part you can’t reach. You begin to take more of him into your mouth but you haven’t even made it halfway down before the head of his dick hits the back of your throat, tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

“Fuck, you look so pretty like this,” he moans, his head rolling back onto the backrest of your coach, his chest dramatically rising and falling as he chases his breath.

You hum in response, watching how his hips are tensing and twitching, trying not to thrust up into your mouth. You slowly pull him out, a string of your saliva still connecting to his dick as you continue to jack him off. “I’ll let you fuck my mouth but if I tap twice, you have to stop, okay?”

His eyes shoot open at the offer and he whispers a low swear word before he nods and gets up onto his feet. He slings his suit jacket off, throwing it somewhere on your couch as you get onto your feet, hiking your skirt up so you can bend at the knees and squat in front of him since your knees were already starting to hurt.

He moves to stand in between your spread thighs, hands making their way back to your head as he slowly guides his dick back into your mouth. You move your hands up his bare legs, digging your nails into his warm skin as he starts thrusting into your warm, wet mouth.

You try to blink back your tears but it doesn’t help, every small thrust hits the back of your throat and you’re seconds away from suffocating. The tears start spilling out of your eyes but you refuse to stop him, the way he’s thrusting into your mouth with his head thrown back and soft moans leaving his lips is making you want to keep going, be the reason for his pleasure.

“Fuck, can I cum on your tits?” he asks in between moans, his thrusts getting even rougher. You finally tap his thigh twice and he immediately slides out of your mouth, reaching for your chin to make you tilt your head up at him. He scans your face with a concern frown but you simply slap his hand away.

Your hand reaches up as you start unbuttoning your silk shirt, successfully taking it off, tossing it aside and unclasping your bra all in a few seconds.

He doesn’t have to fucking ask twice.

He grunts, fingers coming back to hold your chin in place to look at him. Your makeup has undoubtedly smudged all over your face but you don’t care, not when Seokjin is looking at you as if you’re the most beautiful being he has ever laid his eyes upon.

He continues to pump himself with his other habd, chasing his own release. You slowly move back toward the couch, sprawling yourself out on the edge of the couch’s cushions and pulling Seokjin forwards to stand in between your spread thighs. You lean your upper back against the couch, allowing gravity to work for you as you reach up to his dick and take it from him, aiming the tip at your chest.

Your eyes travel up to meet his gaze as you start pumping him, watching as he stares you down with such overwhelming lust that it’s got your useless panties no longer acting as a barrier because you’re pretty sure you’ve started leaking through the fabric.

“Fuck,” he pauses after a deep inhale, “you’re so fucking pretty.”

An involuntary moan escapes your lips at the praise but your hands keep going, wanting nothing more than for him to cum all over your breasts.

“You’re pretty too,” you say with a sheepish smile, still looking up at him with your pretty eyes.

“I know,” he moans and the sight makes you giggle. At least he’s funny.

His dick twitches in your hand and before you know it, white ropes of his warm cum start coating your chest and nipples. He moans several swear words as he cums all over your breasts, his eyes taking in the sight and committing it to memory.

You’re upper body is sprawled on the couch cushions, tits covered in saliva and cum, makeup running down your face, hair fucked up.

You blink up at him with hooded eyes as your hands finally come to a stop, still gripping the base of his shaft.

“Fuck, don’t look at me like that,” he grunts, still chasing his breath as he wipes the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand.

The Devil starts tugging on the corner of your lips, making you smirk. “Like what?”

“Like you want me to destroy you.”

You’re once again slapped in the face by his blunt words but you can’t help but want him to go through with that statement.

“But I do,” you reply, bringing up the back of your hand to wipe your chin clean of the saliva, or at least some of it.

“Yeah, I bet,” he mumbles as he starts unbuttoning his shirt and runs his hand through his hair, messing it up in the process.

He hunches over and pulls you up onto your feet, tugging your skirt down your hips without any obstacles and tossing it aside aggressively. He takes a seat on the couch and spreads his legs wide apart before tugging you toward him to sit in between his legs.

You move to tug off your panties but he stops you, just patting the spot in between his thighs, motioning for you to turn around. You blink at him for a moment before you place your ass right in between his thighs and lean your back into his chest like he wants you to.

His hand trails down your waist to your thigh, awakening the thousands of goosebumps underneath the upperlayer of your skin. He taps your skin gently, mumbling something about spreading for him and you comply.

He uses his other hand to hold your leg apart from the other by placing his hand under the back of your knee and pulling it up while his other hand slowly starts rubbing circles onto your clothed pussy.

You sigh at the friction, finally getting some attention and a soft moan escapes your lips.

“Fuck, you got that wet from sucking me off?” His voice rings in your ear and his proximity almost makes you dizzy, it’s the only explanation for the room that seems to be spinning around you. His words too, because they’re true. The kissing turned you on but letting him use your mouth left you dripping with arousal.

You hum in response as your hips start to roll into his hand, your eyes trailing down to your chest that’s still covered in his cum.

“Leave it like that, you look so pretty.” He must’ve noticed the way you were eyeing his load on your chest but you quickly nod, assuring him you were in no hurry to get rid of it.

He slowly peels your panties off your pussy, noticing the way they stick to your folds. He hums in delight as he pushes your underwear to the side. Your gaze shifts downwards and you intently watch as he effortlessly slides his fingers in between your folds, his fingers already soaked with your slick.

He pulls his fingers back, wanting a glimpse of his fingers covered in your slick. “Fuck,” whispers Seokjin.

You lean your head back into the crook of his neck as you moan softly, chest rising and falling dramatically. His lips leave soft kisses on the side of your neck as his fingers rub your clit, down to your slit, down to your hole to gently tease it.

You’re going to need all the preparation you can get because his dick will undoubtedly make you feel like you’re having sex for the first time all over again.

You impatiently rut your hips into his fingers but he just chuckles, gathering your slick onto his fingers and smearing it all over your sex.

“You’re so impatient, pretty.” His beautiful voice feels like it’s being ladled into your ear by a cloud yet his tone is coated in mockery.

You merely grunt in response before actually using your words. You grumble, “Put them in.”

A hoarse laugh pushes past his lips before he slides his middle and ring finger into your pussy, curling them right away. He watches you with a twisted smirk on his lips as you start writhing on him, bucking your hips the moment his fingertips graze your g-spot.

He shushes you quietly as he begins to fuck his fingers into you, slamming his palm against your clit and doing so at an angle that causes the disgusting gushing sound of your wet pussy to ring in your ears.

You shake your head, you plead, you cry, you do anything to let him know you want to cum, right now, right here on his fingers.

“Listen to that,” he mumbles, lips grazing the shell of your ear as he continues to curl his fingers every now and then. He watches you from the corner of his eyes, thoroughly enjoying how he’s got you writhing for him. “I need a taste.”

That’s all he says before hoisting you off of him and tossing you beside him, onto your couch. A gasp leaves your throat at the sudden strength he uses to do that and the way he drags you to the edge of the cushions, legs spread for him.

He settles on his knees in between your thighs, licking his lips at the sight of your glistening pussy in front of him. “Would you look at that?” he whispers, using his fingers to spread your folds for him.

Fortunately, he wastes no time and lowers his mouth onto your sex, tongue pressed flat against it as he licks up all of your arousal – that he’s the sole cause of.

A pathetic whimper slides up the back of your throat, legs jerking and body squirming under him but he simply chuckles. “I haven’t even done anything, look at you squirming.”

But then, his smile is nowhere to be seen and he’s got a black expression on his beautiful face. “Stay still,” he demands, his voice low and his eyes fixed on your pussy.

Your hips are restrained by his hands, holding you down against the couch as his tongue goes on a rampage against your poor clit. You cry and mewl under him, thighs shaking and fingers gripping at the pillows decorating your couch.

“Fuck,” you moan once he shoves his tongue into you, nose bumping against your clit and teasing you further while he fucks his wet muscle into you.

All you can do is moan and cry his name, fingers tugging at his perfectly styled hair but he doesn’t seem to mind.

“This pussy,” he mumbles as he shakes his head. “Might never get enough of it.” He dives right back in, mouth completely and aggressively devouring you as if he didn’t just have a meal.

“Fuck, I’m gonna fucking cum,” you sniff, hips jerking and thighs clenching but he continues to hold you down, not allowing you to escape his grasp. Your warning words only seem to encourage him as he completely sucks you for what you’re worth.

His precision and movements never falter, continuously stimulating your clit. “You’re already making me hard again,” he says matter-of-factly once he pulls back from your pussy. You think he’s edging you but that thought gets thrown out the window when he suddenly hooks his hands around the back of your thighs and shoves your legs toward you, pressed against your torso to spread you out even more for him.

If this pose isn’t embarrassing enough, him staring down at your pussy like this would certainly be enough to make you anxious.

“What?” you ask quietly as you glance down at him, your chest still in- and deflating from all that pleasure you received just now.

He glances up into your eyes for a few seconds with an unreadable look in his eyes before shifting his eyes back down to your sex, so spread and so exposed for him. “Just admiring your pussy. Can’t I?”

Your teeth roughly bite down on your bottom lip, eyes still watching his every move in anticipation.

But then he simply chuckles to himself before closing in on your pussy again and licking, sucking, making out with your nether regions as if he hasn’t eaten in days. Holy shit, he’s fucking good.

Ugh, why would anyone want to ditch him?

You almost flinch when he exhales slightly, something you’d describe as a quick chuckle. His breath drapes all over your pussy, making you glance down at him but he’s already staring at you.

“Why, thank you.” He rises to his feet as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and ditches the rest of his clothes. “But I was never stood up.”

Your brows pinch together. What is he talking about?

Hold on.

Did you actually say that outloud? Fuck. You goofy bitch!

“What do you mean, you were never stood up?” you mumble as you watch him rip a condom package with his teeth and slowly roll the condom onto his massive dick, giving it a few test tugs.

“Yeah, I lied,” he says nonchalantly as he pulls your leg up and slings it over his shoulder, pulling you to the edge of the couch whilst he stays kneeling on the floor in front of you.

“You lied? How did you lie? I saw you there, sitting by yourself…”

“Yeah, about that...” He slowly starts to push in, making sure to watch your face for any sign of regret or un-readiness.

But you simply squeeze your eyes shut at the burn, he’s inhumanely big and you’re already seeing celestial bodies on the back of your eyelids from how tightly you’re squeezing your eyes shut but he’s being very careful, clearly experienced in this regard.

Did he decide to spring that bullshit on you whilst pushing into you so you’d forget about it?

Well, it’s working. What the fuck?

You can’t help it, your teeth are digging into your bottom lip and your eyes are finally open once he bottoms out. Your walls are burning from the stretch, clearly not very welcoming in these few moments. A few of his hair strands are sticking to his forehead from the sweat but he never loses concentration of going slow and steady.

“You okay?” he whispers, gently rubbing your clit in hopes of helping you relax.

“Ye… Yeah, I think,” you whisper in response, mind clouded. You can’t think about anything else right now.

He slowly nods his head. “You’re going to squeeze my fucking dick off, doll. Relax for me,” he whispers as he reaches over to smooth out the scrunch in your brows with his thumb.

Damn, he’s so damn sexy. You really don’t know him at all.

“Well, clearly I’ve never had something that big shoved in there,” you snark, struggling a little as you do your best to just relax but of course, it’s easier said than done.

“I’ve never fucked anything this tight either,” he chuckles as he leans a bit closer into you, still fully shoved into you, yet not moving. “Let me kiss you.”

You stare into his big brown eyes, your own eyes dropping down to his lips before trailing back up to his eyes.

“Just breathe. You can take it, princess. Look at you, you look so pretty under me.” He leans further down until he’s pressed his lips against yours and if this is him trying to get your mind off of getting split in half by his dick, it’s working.

Because kissing Seokjin is otherworldly. His lips are so plump and pillowy, you could kiss him for fucking hours. You wonder what his lips would look like after making out for hours, swollen and red. Fuck.

He kisses you gently, one thumb still rubbing your clit and you’re trying so hard not to clench around his dick because you’re scared you might actually squeeze his dick off.

“Move,” you demand after a few moments of kissing, wrapping your legs around his waist and caging him in by locking your feet with each other behind his back.

He slowly, very slowly, starts to pull out of you, leaving the head of his dick inside before pushing back into you.

You mewl at the intrusion, throat dry with the sounds you’ve been letting out.

“Shhh, you’re doing so well. Taking it like a champ,” he whispers against your lips, steadily thrusting into you.

Ugh, what happened in your life for the nerdy intern to be talking you through sex right now?

“Faster,” you mumble once he pulls away from your lips, leaning his forehead against yours.

“I hear you,” he chuckles as he picks up the pace of his thrusting, hips rolling into yours at a delicious pace.

“Fuck,” you moan, actually enjoying the burning fullness he gives you. “Fuck, you– you said something about… about lying to me?”

He glances into your eyes, a pinch in his brows as he tries to keep himself from just moaning in response. “Yeah, I lied to you, princess. Sorry about that.”

A cry rips through your poor throat when he suddenly starts snapping his hips into yours, pounding you at a pace and with a type of strength that has your eyes rolling into the back of your head.

Is he doing that to stop you from interrogating him?

“Shit, you’re making a mess on your floor, beautiful.” He says it with such cockiness in his tone that it makes you want to smack him right across the face but he’s just so fucking fine that you have no choice but to let it slide.

You watch as he reaches over to grab some of the paper towels that you placed on the coffee table earlier and uses them to wipe down his cum from your chest to avoid making a mess on your couch.

At least he’s considerate, you suppose.

You drop your head further back against the cushions, moans continuously spilling from your lips as his hips pound into yours, his dick rubbing every single millimeter of your slick walls.

Tears spill out of your eyes from all the sensations ripping through your body, your own hand coming up to shield the outside world from your loudness but Seokjin is quicker, slapping your hand away from your mouth.

“Let me hear how pretty I make you sound.” He simply continues to fuck into you, making sure your leg stays secured against his torso and over his shoulder.

He deliberately fucks you at an angle that makes the squelching of your pussy that much louder and embarrassing. “Listen to that,” he whispers, mockery on his face and a curl at the corners of his lips.

“Shut up,” you whimper, cheeks heated in embarrassment. “Don’t think I–” you yelp, “I forgot about you telling me you lied to me.”

He merely hums in response and leans back a bit, grabbing both your legs by the back of your knees and pushing them toward your chest while he continues to snap his hips into yours, stretching you out so harsh yet so fucking good.

“If you ask the right questions, I promise I’ll answer honestly.” His ragged breathing betrays his act of nonchalance but you’re too fucked out to point it out.

Ugh. Is this a game to him?

You inhale a shaky breath. “Did you get stood up or not?” you ask, hoping he’ll give you the clarification you’re looking for despite already having told you that he lied to you about it.

“No,” he replies, teeth digging into his plump bottom lip as you clench and squeeze around him.

You manage to ask through moans, “So, she did show up?”

He shakes his head, eyes glued to the way his dick slides in and out of you. He abruptly pulls out and turns you over by your waist, pressing your face, stomach and chest deeply into the cushions of your couch and wastes no time slamming back into you.

“Fuck!” you cry out with your knees now on the floor, mouth practically drooling all over your couch as he tugs your arms towards him and bends them at the elbows to pin them into your lower back, keeping you caged and with no other option than to take it.

And you wouldn’t want it any other way.

“No,” he grunts in reply, hips continuously snapping into your ass and his eyes glued to your bum recoiling against his body.

What the hell? He’s not making any sense.

If she didn’t show up, that means he got stood up, doesn’t it?

Wait.

The realization sets.

“Did–” you pause, trying to catch your breath. “Did you have a date at all?”

He hums in response as he fucks you, one hand keeping your arms pinned and one hand coming down to squeeze the soft skin of your ass.

“I didn’t.”

Huh?

An involuntary sob escapes you, earning a cocky chuckle from him. Bastard. “So,” you start, “what were you doing there?”

He was just sitting there. He hadn’t even ordered yet. Why the hell was he there?

He kisses his teeth with a loud smack as he stays quiet for a few moments after your question. “I own the restaurant.”

Record scratch.

What?

You echo, “You own the restaurant?”

That restaurant is very fancy and pricey, why was he working in a company like yours if he owned a restaurant like that?

“Well, my dad does.” He lets go of your arms to grip both your hips, rocking you back onto his sex instead of fucking you. “I’ll be inheriting it soon.”

Fucking hell.

That explains the expensive car.

The next few moments are just filled with moans, heavy breathing and skin slapping. His fingers dig into your skin, gripping you tightly as if you’d slip through of his fingers.

Your own hand reaches down and starts rubbing at your clit, teeth abusing your bottom lip as you squeeze your eyes shut. “Fuck,” you whimper as your orgasm starts approaching.

“You gonna cum?” he whispers, slightly picking up the pace of his thrusts.

You quickly nod your head, face still buried in your coach and it’s going to be very fun to clean that makeup off your couch.

“Go on, then,” he encourages, his hand coming down to your ass in a rough slap, making you jolt forwards from the impact.

Swear words continue to fall from his lips and you struggle to even form a coherent sentence.

But then, the world stops spinning and the room starts to.

Your phone is ringing. Fuck!

You slowly reach over and turn your screen to face you, curses falling from your lips.

Seokjin asks, “Who is that?”

Fuck. “It’s Taehyung. He probably wants to know if I got home okay. I’ll just text him la–”

“Pick up,” he says, thrusts never halting. Actually, his hips pound into yours even harsher. Bastard.

You squeal, “I’m not going to pick up while I’m–”

He cuts you off. “While you’re getting fucked by me?”

“It has nothing to do with you. Just… you know. Me getting fucked.”

A sultry chuckle leaves his mouth and he gradually slows down in pace, sensually rolling his hips into yours. “Go on, pick up.”

An exasperated sigh leaves your mouth quietly as you accept the call and put the phone to your ear. “Hello?”

“Yo, where are you?”

“I’m uh,” you mumble as you shake your head, trying so hard to not focus on the way the tip of Seokjin’s dick softly kisses your cervix with each thrust. “I’m home.”

“Alright. Cool if I come over?”

Your eyes almost pop out of your eye sockets. “What? No. You can’t come over.”

“Huh? Why?”

“Because,” you pause as you glance over your shoulder into Seokjin’s eyes with an expression on your face that only feeds his damn ego. “Just because, okay?”

“But you– oh.” Taehyung goes quiet. “Oh. I see how it is,” he says and you can practically hear the shit-eating grin in his voice.

“Bye, Taehyung.”

“I bet you’re getting dicked down by big dick Seokj–”

Your thumb quickly slams down on the red hang up button before you toss your phone aside, ready to hear Seokjin’s comments and questions about the phone call but he doesn’t say anything.

Instead, he picks up the pace again, fucking you just the way he seems to like it.

He places his hands on your shoulders and continues to fuck the absolute shit out of you, making you arch your back and ruin your throat with the way he’s pounding your poor pussy.

The consistent thrusts and his silent whispers of praise are what ultimately send you over the edge, your entire body shuddering and falling limp against the couch as he continues to fuck you through your orgasm. You pathetically cry out under him, clenching around him, the entire room spinning as his big dick slides in and out of you.

“Shit, you’re so fucking hot,” he mumbles as he spreads your asscheeks apart, eyes glued to how he slides in and out of you and the way your tight pussy grips onto him. “Can I cum on you again?”

Fuck. He can cum wherever the fuck he wants.

“Yeah,” you whimper in overstimulation, not having enough energy or sass to roll your eyes at his cocky chuckle. Bastard.

“You’re so good to me,” he whispers, hips snapping into your ass as he chases his own high. It doesn’t take long until he completely pulls out of you and yanks the condom off, aiming his dick at your ass and unloading all over your bum, coating your skin in his cum.

“Fuck,” he groans, watching as you reach for your ass and spread your cheeks for him, looking over your shoulder at him.

He mumbles, “Shit, you’re gonna be the death of me.”

You merely hum in response, still in the clouds from that orgasm as he milks himself of every drop on your soft skin.

After he comes down from his high, he focuses on catching his breath but doesn’t wait for much longer until he reaches for the roll of paper towels again. He quietly cleans you up, slow and steady, making sure not to spill before he moves onto the mess you made on the floor.

He gently tugs your panties back up your legs and by the time he’s helped you sit back onto the couch, he’s already fully dressed.

He looks down at you, wiping some of your makeup with the paper towels but it’s not doing much. “I like how fucked your face is,” he comments, rubbing your chin with his thumb as he stands before you.

A scowl forms on your face but it just elicits a chuckle from him before he leans down and softly pecks your lips.

He reaches for your elbows and helps you rise to your feet, asking for directions to your room.

Once he’s helped you out of your clothes and thoroughly cleaned you up, he helps you into bed.

When the click of the door handle being turned reaches your ears, you stop him by calling out his name and it makes him glance at you over his. shoulder. “You can just stay. It’s really late.”

He stares at you for a moment before chuckling and adding a shake to his head for good measure. “One conversation and I’m spending the night? I wonder how long it’ll take for you to fall for me.”

You roll your eyes exaggeratedly and pettily turn onto your side, giving him your cold back. “Then don’t stay, I was just trying to be polite.”

His obnoxious laugh rips through your eardrums and it’s like he’s the only person on Earth with you now.

It isn’t long before you hear the ruffling of his clothes and the mattress behind you dipping under his weight.

You try to go to sleep with his soft breath grazing your neck but unfortunately, you can’t ignore it and it takes you a whole lot of time to actually doze off.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

The soft clinking of metal wakes you out of your slumber. You slowly awaken, your eyes meeting his figure in the corner of your room as he buckles his belt in front of the mirror.

You slowly sit up and rub the sleep out of your eyes. “Why did you lie to me?” you hoarsely ask him, this time not beating around the bush.

He glances at you through the mirror for a second, probably surprised that you’ve woken up. He then fully returns his attention to himself and shrugs his shoulders with a hint of nonchalance. “Why were you nice to me when no one else was?”

At this, you can’t help but frown. What kind of a question is that? “Because I’m a decent human being?”

He tilts his head to the side at your answer, eyes staring at you through the mirror in silence for several seconds.

“And I’m not.” He turns around to face you. “Does that answer your question, lovely?” he says it with so much nonchalance and arrogance, like he genuinely doesn’t care at all.

You idly blink at him through the mirror from where you’re seated, mind booming with all the images of nerdy Seokjin and it’s like you’re staring at a completely different person. Are you sure he doesn’t have an evil twin or something like that?

He slowly walks up to you and it makes you sit up even straighter and for some reason his proximity still makes you nervous. Your eyes slowly travel up his body, finally glancing at him through your pretty lashes.

“I put my number on that note over there. Call me whenever you need me.” He nods towards your nightstand and you follow his line of direction, noticing a pink post-it with his number, name and a winking smiley scribbled on it.

When you turn your head back to look at him, he raises his hand and strokes your head before leaning down to press a gentle peck to your pouty lips. “Or whenever you want me, I don’t judge.” He winks at you, rubbing your bottom lip with his thumb before straightening his back and gathering his wallet and keys.

Is this really how it’s going to go?

“Wait,” you call out. He cocks an eyebrow at you as he absentmindedly slides his wallet and keys into the pockets of his slacks.

You say, “Am I supposed to just… act like nothing happened?” With a slight shake to your head, you continue, “Tomorrow at work? Like you haven’t shown me your true colors?”

Is he going to act like nothing happened? Is he going to be the same Seokjin you’ve always known? Will he have a distinct look in your eye every time he looks at you? Couldn’t you just out him to the others? Why was he comfortable showing you such private matters about himself?

His dark eyes stare into yours for a moment longer and it almost stings, it stings the way he stares you down. The faintest smirk creeps onto his lips and you can swear you just met the Devil, standing face to face with evil reincarnated.

Then, he simply shrugs his shoulders and drops them again as he heads out the door, not even looking back at you.

“It’s not like anyone would believe you anyways.”

And with that, he exits your apartment, leaving you to process what happened in the past 12 hours on your own.

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[tobereadindiapers-again]

The Nurse pt. 2

That night was one of the loneliest of your life. You spent most of it tossing and turning, and trying not to imagine all of the horrible ways your life had changed in an afternoon. How would you hide your diapers? How would you manage your changes? What would your friends and family think? What about women? What would they think of you. Wrapped in your smelly, wet diaper all day, every day. Would they think of you at all any more? You tried to keep that pitiful look Sarah had given you out of your mind, until you were nearly crazy with anxiety, fear, and exhaustion. Is that the only way women would look at you now? Sad, half masked pity.

Every time you felt your eyes close heavy with the promise of sleep, a small warm trickle snapped you back to waking. You spent the dark hours of the early morning straining with all of your might to stop the steady drip, drip, drip of urine into your diaper, but to no avail. It made you furious. You wanted nothing more than to stand up and rip the damn thing off and hurl it at the wall. This whole situation was infuriating! Unfair. Pathetic.

Finally you focused your mind on the muffled hustle and bustle of the hospital hallway outside your doors. The scurrying feet of hospital staff, the wherrs and beeps of the hospital machines, the hushed voices of night shift nurses outside your door. You wondered absently where Sarah was now.

You awoke abruptly to a clatter outside your room. People talked in hurried voices, and you heard scrapes and clanging as whatever fumbled hospital gear was quickly gathered back up.

You rolled over to face away from the door, and were immediately reminded of your new condition. The sagging, bulging diaper between your legs crinkled louder than the plastic hospital bedding. Its massive bulk felt foreign between your thighs, and your most intimate area felt slick, damp and clammy. Worst of all, you felt a horrid sticky, slippery mess between your cheeks as you rotated. It clung tight to your ass and shifted in the seat of your diaper as you rolled. Without thinking you reached down and grabbed at your ass in a panic. Your hands came into contact with the seat of your diaper far sooner than you expected and you felt the luke warm mass press into your ass, spreading into every little crevice it hadn't already occupied. The pressure from your hand emptied the diaper of air, pushing it out the back of the diaper waste-band to fill the tiny hospital room. You nearly gaged as the putrid smell of human excrement, mingled with the sweet aroma of baby powder, filled your nose. You wretched fully at the realization that your entire midsection was now smeared in your own shit. You began to pull  desperately at the seat of your diaper, hoping to put some room between your ass and the sticky cake of mud you had produced in the night. But your diaper was too snug, or too full, and each attempt only kneaded the mass within the diaper producing a sickening squelchy feeling against your backside. You wrenched again.

"Knock knock." You heard a soft voice whisper as the door to your room slowly creaked opened.

Fast as you could manage, you rolled back onto your backside, stiff as a board, clutching at your bedding covers and pulling them tight up to your chin. You were almost in too much of a panic to fully register the sickening feeling of excrement reforming itself to your movement, filling the space between your legs and pressing itself tight to the back of your hairless balls. Almost. 

You tucked the covers in under your legs hoping against hope that you could contain your stench beneath. You looked up to see Sarah, closing the door behind her, a small plastic tray held high in her hand, as if she were waiting tables, a bundle of clothes was tucked under her other arm.

"Hey Matt! How'd you sleep? Are you ready for breakfast?" She asked, with more cheer than you had anticipated from a nurse at the end of a double night shift. 

"Ughhh yeah, sure thing. I slept great! Thank you... uh Sarah! You can umm. Just leave all that there, I'll get it in a bit." You stammered with more cheer than someone in your position ever aught to. Maybe, just maybe, you could get her to leave. Maybe you could avoid a humiliation ten times worse than you had suffered the previous night. Maybe you could save this poor, beautiful woman the indignity of scraping human shit out of your useless, weak, mess of an asshole. You had to try. For both your sakes.

"Well I'm glad you were able to catch some sleep in this noisy place. I'm jealous. I hate working nights. I'm so ridiculously tired." She said.

You could believe it. She looked beat, and it seemed her chipper air of professionalism had tarnished somewhat over the course of the night.

"So," she continued, "I'm happy to leave these here," she indicated a tray of breakfast foods, and the bundle you now recognized as the clothes you wore in when you were first admitted yesterday morning, "but... I can't leave without giving you your final examination to clear you for discharge."

"Oh. Yeah, I uh, I forgot." You were leaving. You had almost forgotten.

It hadn't even been 24 hours since you were put under for your 'routine procedure' yet it felt a lifetime. So much had changed in so little time. It all felt so... unceremonious. 'Sorry we fucked up your life, bye-bye now'. You felt a flash of hot rage cross your face at the thought.

"What? You'd rather stay another night?" Sarah said, raising an eyebrow in jest.

"Ha" you laughed reflexively. It was so hard to concentrate on anything other than the messy diaper between your legs. She seemed... blurry, far away in comparison. Like your mind was trying to block her out. "No, no. I just. You know, I feel fine. Other than... you know." You nod down to indicate the hidden shame you both know was there."

"Yeah. I guess that's definitely going to take some... getting used to, huh?" She said.

"I guess." You said, unable to meet her eyes.

"Well, would you like to have your breakfast first? Or should we get you out of here?"

The thought of eating breakfast while wearing a diaper full of your own shit nearly made you wretch for a third time. But you were still determined to get out of here with some tiny, imperceptible, shed of your dignity intact. She would NOT be changing your messy diaper, not if you could help it.

"You know, I'm actually not all that hungry. Let's get checked out."

"Ok! Would you mind sitting up for me? I just need to give you a final once over, then we can get you changed, and if everything looks good we can get you checked out!"

You swung your legs over the edge of the bed and sat up to face Sarah. Big mistake. Your full weight was now perched atop your messy diaper, you could feel the mass inside spread to every remaining unsoiled bit of skin it could contact. You squirmed uncomfortably but the mess persisted.

"Changed? I um, I'm actually pretty good I think."

Sarah pulled a stool up in front of you and slid a blood pressure cuff over your arm.

"Matt, come on. You know it's hospital policy." She said as she began to pump up the sleeve. 

"No, I know. It's just, I don't think I need one is all. It can wait until I get home." You said, glancing down at the surprisingly massive bulge of diaper protruding from between your legs. The thin hospital gown did practically nothing to conceal it, and you sheepishly tugged at the gown to better hide the obvious.

"Your blood pressure is a little high." She said absentmindedly.

"Might be I'm a bit nervous..." you said, trying to crack a half grin.

Sarah looked at you. Exhaustion in her eyes. "I'll tell you what." She said smiling up at you. "I just worked a brutal ten hour overnight, and I can't tell if I'm more hungry or tired. After I'm done here, you can change yourself...."

You couldn't believe how happy you were to hear you could change your own diaper. The thought both excited and depressed you.

"... under my observation." Sarah finished sternly. 

You were about to protest this humiliating condition but she cut you off. 

Sarah softened her tone, "Look, I'm going to level with you. I know this is embarrassing for you, but for me it's just another Tuesday. You're my last patient, and then I'm out of here. But I'll be honest, I'm not exactly thrilled at the thought of finishing this awful shift changing your messy brief. But i'm not going to finish it getting chewed out by my boss either. So, I'll stay here with you and guide you through it, or we can both suck it up and I can change you. What do you say?"

'Soiled brief' she had said. She knew you had messed yourself in the night. She knew you had pooped your diaper, and were wearing it right here in front of her. 'Of course she did' you thought, 'how could she not?'

"Okay." You said, wishing you could shrink into the floor.

"Deal." She said offering her hand. You shook it loosely, feeling a strange excitement at her touch. You were embarrassed that you could only bring yourself to meet her eyes for an instant before glancing away.

"Now just a few more things." She said pulling on some nitrile gloves. 

She had you lean forward, and she examined your back, pressing on different areas and inquiring about the pain level. If she hadn't known you'd shit your diapers before, she definitely would now, with the whole backside on display. She repeated the tests on your front, even pressing in on the diaper under your gown, by your abdomen. She checked reflexes, the sensation in your feet, and a half dozen other things, scribbling in your chart between procedures. Finally she seemed satisfied. 

"Alright Matt, that's it! You'll be happy to hear that for the most part your procedure was a success. You're in very good health. I've scheduled you for a follow up in 6 months, and other than that, let's get you changed and get you out of here!" 

'The procedure was a success!?!' You thought. You nearly screamed it. For an instant you were FURIOUS at Sarah. How could she even say that with a straight face. You were practically an invalid. Wrapped in a diaper filled with your own piss and shit. And expected to go on living that way. How dare she! 

"Hey Matt?" You looked up at her, practically seething, "I hate to ask this, but... are you really not going to eat that?" She asked pointing at the trey of eggs and toast. 

Your anger faded. It wasn't her fault you were like this. She didn't fuck up the surgery, she didn't sign the dotted line below the list of possible surgical complications. She was just a tired young nurse, trying to do her job.

You glanced at the plate of runny eggs, and failed not to think of the consistency of the mess in your diaper.

"Go ahead." You said. Unsure of how ANYONE could eat at a time like this.

"Oh my god, thank you so much. I am starving. The supplies you need are all there under your bed there." She said sitting on the vacant bed in the room and helping her self to the tray. She really did seem to have checked out early you thought.

Slowly, you rose to your feet, feeling the weight of the mess in your diaper shift down between your legs. You felt the full weight of your diaper on your hips for the first time, pulling you down under its own gravity now. You bent down awkwardly to retrieve your supplies, trying not to turn your back to Sarah, and expose your shame. 

Once you had gathered everything on your bed she spoke up.

"Ok, first things first." She said in between hurried mouth fulls of egg. "Feel the front of the brief there. See how soft and soggy it feels? I mean, this brief DEFINITELY needs a change, but just pretend, that softness is a pretty good way to tell it's time."

"Ok..." you said awkwardly prodding your diaper beneath your gown. "So do I just lay down?"

"Well, the incontinent parents I work with seem to prefer changing their soiled diapers standing... Opp... I'm sorry. I hope you don't mind me calling them diapers. I'm sorry, I'm just so tired.." she had almost finished her breakfast, you felt like you were about to loose yours.

"No... it's whatever. That's... what they are isn't it?"

"I know, I know. It's just, well we're trained to use the term 'brief' is all. I guess some people find it less..."

"Degrading?" You offered. Sarah blushed and made a sad face. "It's fine." You offered. "It's what they are."

A painfully awkward silence stilled the room for a moment.

Mercifully, Sarah broke it "Anyway, like I was saying. The incontinent people I work with, the ones who are capable of standing on their own anyway, often prefer to change their messy diapers, or briefs, or whatever you want to call them, from the standing position. I think it makes it easier to clean yourself up, but that's totally up to you."

"Ok." It occurred to you suddenly that you had absolutely no idea how to do this. "So just here then?" You asked standing across from her on the far side of the room.

"Yeah, wherever. Oh wait! Don't forget to prep your new diaper, remember?" 

You could feel your face turning red as you waddled back to the bed and unfolded your next diaper in front of her. The damn thing was massive, and so so loud.

"And fluff it." She added.

"Like this?" You asked crumpling the diaper back and forth in your hands. You felt like a child, worse than a child. Children didn't wear diapers.

"Yep! That's right. Just break up that padding a bit."

You laid the diaper on the foot of the bed and turned to face Sarah, using your gown to shield your shame as best you could. You could feel your knees shaking as if they were about to give out.

"So now I just... take it off?" You asked.

"Yeah, whenever you're ready... oh wait.." she said, stuffing the last bit of toast in her mouth and placing the empty tray down beside her.

You still couldn't understand how someone could eat in a situation like this. Perhaps she really was just THAT numb to it all. You wondered when that would happen to you, now that this was your life.

"Now I know you don't want to hear this, but this whole thing is going to be way easier for you if you take that gown off."

"What? Why? I'd, rather not if that's ok." Was she trying to humiliate you.

"That's fine by me. I just think it's going to get in your way is all." She said matter-of-factly.

"I'll leave it on." You said, upset to feel the sting of tears on the back of your eyes return now that the moment of truth had come.

You were surprised to realize how much your hands were shaking as you fumbled at the tabs of your sodden diaper. Finally you found purchase and ripped. The sound felt deafening in that tiny room. One, two, three, humiliating rips, and with the final pull you felt the diaper come loose from your body. You caught it awkwardly before it could fall fully under its own weight, and were mortified to feel how much of your own mess still clung to your ass. Worse yet, the putrid smell in the room seemed to double maybe even triple. You felt the tears well in your eyes now, and were unsure if it was from the smell, or from your abject humiliation. 

You knelt slowly to lower the horrid thing onto the ground between your feet. Gingerly you began to roll it up, eager to again trap as much of the smell within as you could. 

"Wait, wait, no. Leave it open. You'll put your used wipes in there, then close it all up when you're done." Sarah said hastily.

In a state of panic at the sad state of affairs, you slowly righted yourself, and reached to the bed beside you for a wipe. In your haste you lost track of where your gown was, and felt it tug at your neck as it dragged across the open diaper of muck between your feet. You saw the bottom was immediately spoiled, and pulled the first wipe to try and clean it. It swung back as you moved and slapped your leg, marking it with brown. Fully panicking now, you stooped to wipe your ankle, fully draping the gown into the diaper mess.

"Woah, woah, hey." Her voice was gentle. "Take your time. Breathe. You don't have to do this all in under a minute."

Your first tear fell. It landed on the floor just beside your used diaper. Without looking up at Sarah, you took a deep breath, and removed the gown. Soiled as it was, you let it fall to your feet. You stood now before her, completely nude, caked in shit, with your used diaper between your feet and tears in your eyes.

"Just start cleaning up." She said gently. "The hard part is over."

You were afraid to speak, less you start crying. You looked down at the disgusting mess at your feet, and at your nudity. You had forgotten you were completely bare down there. Your own genitals looked  foreign to you. Smooth, and glistening wet with piss. You raised your head, and saw her. 

She sat patiently on the bed across from you, hands crossed neatly in her lap, her face an absolute study of the word pity. She nodded gently. 

You reached for another wipe. You reached it back behind yourself and started to clean. The first wipe came away with nearly a full fist of excrement. You let it fall into the diaper below you. The second wipe was just as filthy. As was the third, and the fourth. You continued to wipe yourself for what felt to be ages. Each time some area seemed to be clean another area was found that seemed untouched. Your back began and thighs began to hurt with the strain as you squatted over the growing pile of dirty wipes. Pee dribbled from your penis as you continued to wipe, missing the diaper completely, and splattering on the ground around it.

"What the fuck." You whispered to yourself. "What the fuck." You repeated quietly in between wipes. What had you become? Just a day ago you were a strong independent man. Now you were this... this thing. Hairless, and helpless in all of the most vulnerable ways. More pee fell from your dick, you tried to reposition yourself over the spent diaper, but most still missed. You were crying now.

"Do you... want me to help?" Sarah asked quietly

"No. No, i can do it." You spat with more frustration than you had intended. You could do it. You could change your own messy diaper, and she would watch, with that same heart wrenching look of pity and disgust. 

Finally, after what seemed an eternity, the wipes were coming back more clean than dirty. But you didn't feel clean. You had shit smeared across the back of your wiping hand, as you had forgotten your gloves, and you were still coming back with streaks of brown on rags as you struggled to clean your hairless balls. You wondered absently if you would ever feel clean again. Finally, at long last, you were 'satisfied' that you had gotten it all off of yourself. The dirty diaper beneath you was piled so high with dirty wet wipes you doubted you would be able to close it. You used the final wipe to clean off you hands and threw it in the pile. You stooped to roll up the diaper at last.

"How about we just get you in your fresh diaper first? Just in case you have anymore accidents on the floor." Sarah suggested mildly. 

You wiped your eyes with your forearm, careful not to touch your face with your hands and examined the damage. You had made a terrible mess. The shit filled diaper, soiled gown, and wayward used wipes, laid in a small puddle of urine. It dawned on you Sarah would have to clean that up as her last act of the day.

"Yeah. Sorry Sarah." You sniffled as you walked over to the open diaper on the bed and played down on it. 

Eager to end this humiliation and get the fuck out of there you reached for the powder, but were reminded promptly to complete all the steps.

Better late than never, you dawned a single purple glove and squeezed barrier cream onto your index finger. Trying your best to block out the beautiful nurse in the corner of your eye, you started fingering your asshole with the ointment. It was strange, to say the least, to have lost so much dignity so quickly. You could feel through your glove the tone of your asshole. It felt the same to your finger as you expected it to, you had never had to finger your ass hole much before, but you thought absently that your asshole felt differently, that it didn't feel your finger as you thought it should. Having adequately covered yourself in the sticky, slippery jell, you opened the baby oil and spritzed your cold naked pubic area. Sarah watched wordlessly. Finally the time had come. You were nearly there. You almost looked forward to it, as it signified the end of your ordeals. You opened the baby powder and poured it liberally over your pathetic member, which lulled listlessly in response, releasing another small stream of urine to trickle down your freshly cleaned ball sack and into your diaper. You lifted your legs over your head like a baby on a changing table and covered your ass. Then without bothering to close the bottle you pulled the diaper up over your privates. Were they even 'privates' any more? Were they even YOURS for that matter? You share as shit didn't have any control of them. They were now just filthy, leaky things to you now.

Finally hidden from the watchful eye of you observer you breathed a sigh of relief.  It was sad to think that being wrapped in a fresh white diaper in front of a beautiful woman was a relief to you now. It was still humiliating, but it wasn't that. 

Sarah stood and walked over beside your bed.

"Here, this parts tricky. Let me help." She held your hand as you held the diaper tapes and guided it into the correct position. Her touch felt nearly angelic. A caring, gentle touch in a time you had felt so unlovable. She didn't shy away, or make any indication that she had been disturbed by the whole pathetic disgusting act. She simply helped you tape on your diaper. Then she handed you your clothes 

"Here. You get dressed. I'll clean this up."

"No, I can do that."

"It's my job Matt, I don't mind." 

You couldn't watch as she pulled on her gloves and fell to her knees to began the work of cleaning up your shame. Instead you pulled on your boxers in a hurry, and found they did nothing to cover the diaper waste-band or conceal the bulge. Are you even supposed to wear boxers now? You didn't ask, but quickly pulled on your pants. Anything to cover this fucking thing. To your dismay, your pants felt about two sizes two small. You had to struggle and shift to pull the back over the puffy ass of your new underwear. Your quiet grunting was accompanied by loud obnoxious crinkles the entire time. Ones up around your waist, you then hade to fight the zipper, pushing down on the crotch of your diaper just to get it closed. The resulting look would have been comical if it weren't that YOU were the one wearing it. Your crotch bulged out unnaturally, and you could only guess what your ass looked like. A ring of blinding white plastic ringed your torso around your belt, making it perfectly clear to any and all that you were wearing a diaper. You threw on your t-shirt just as Sarah finished dumping the last of your mess in the bin by the door and tying the bag closed tight. 

She turned around and took a long look at you.

"Feeling better?" She asked.

"Uhh." What could you say? "Yeah. Thank you."

"Good! You look better! You're a pretty handsome man Matt." She said with a smile.

"Oh, yeah. Thank you." You felt like you were being talked down to by an elder, rather than genuinely complemented by a beautiful woman.

"Well. Let's get out of here shall we? You'll want to meet up with reception. They're down the hall on the left. They'll get you sorted with your supplies and prescriptions." She said opening the door. "And Matt, you're going to be fine. The first diaper change is always the worst. Eventually it'll become second nature, and you won't even think about it. So stay positive, ok? Maybe I'll see you around sometime." 

You shook hands in the hallway. You couldn't find the words to say goodbye. Just a single nod. And she was gone.

"Eventually you'll get used to it." She had said. It dawned on you this wasn't some horrible event that only happened to you that one time. This was your life now. THAT is how you go to the bathroom now. THAT is something you will do every single day. You piss and shit in your diapers now, and you always will. 

You turned and headed down the hall. You didn't even try to hide your awkward diaper waddle. You couldn't if you tried. 

"This is your life now". You thought, as warm urine flooded the puffy plastic padding between your legs. "And you'd better get used to it."

If you enjoyed this story, please consider submitting more photos of "the nurse". Anything will do. I have one or two more myself but nothing I can work with at the moment. So please help.

hope you enjoyed.

thank you.