#ugh my poor doomed babies

[mrsreginagold]

Out of the mire we were torn from

Remember

Out of the fire again

But I'm an ember

The Enemy, Andrew Belle

[mykoreanlove]

If you’re an over-thinker, you’re an under-feeler

You had been isolated for the last couple of hours - ever since you came back from your doctor‘s appointment you were absentminded, too preoccupied with researching your newfound condition.

Your boyfriend checked in on you every other hour but didn’t dare to interrupt you. You were laying in your bed, scrolling through your phone, trying to find all the missing answers.

„Acid reflux… sour taste… sore voice…medication“, you mumbled under your breath.

Seonghwa watched you for the tenth time this evening - your forehead was creased with concern, not really understanding why your body was suddenly betraying you.

He loved you, he really did. You completed him in ways which he had never dreamed of: you were analytical, prone to detail and observant. But you were also prone to anxiety, in danger of getting lost in your own destructive thoughts.

„How many hours can one google this shit“, he muttered under his breath.

„Suffering…Surgery…Depression“, you coaxed as your voice broke from fear of what was about to come.

„Okay, that’s enough“, he sternly entered the room, sitting at the end of the kingsize bed.

„What is?“

„You doing this to yourself, y/n. We’re going to find a solution baby, but this is not it“, he folded his arms authoritatively.

„Seongie, please. I have to research this, I have to understand. I don’t want to be in pain anymore“, you sobbed quietly.

„I know, baby. But reading blog entries from strangers for hours only stresses you out. How many times are you overthinking the same problem? Like, that doesn’t help. Don’t you think?“

„No“, you snapped back.

Seonghwa knew that it was pointless to argue with you. After all, you were a thinking person whereas he was more of the feeling nature. How was he to distract you from your endless mind chatter?

Suddenly, an idea struck him.

He pushed the blanket away and started kissing your shins.

„What are you doing?“, you asked irritated.

„I am helping you getting out of your head and back into your body, princess. Just relax.“

„Seongie, I don’t want to relax. I want to read and think. I need to overthink, I need to focus on my fucking problem!“, you snapped desperately.

Seonghwa didn’t break eye contact as he was kissing upwards, getting dangerously close to your core.

„See baby, I know this is what you want. But it’s not what you need. What you need…“, he paused to take off your lacy panties, „is to take a break from thinking. Let me help you with that.“

Seeing your precious pussy made him inhale sharply. No matter how often he got to bury himself in between your thighs, he always cherished it like it was the first time.

The colours, the taste, the smell - he was biting his lip in anticipation.

„Ugh, fine“, you gave in and fell back on to the mattress. Seonghwa‘s hand slowly reached for your phone, placing it behind him.

„My poor baby. So stressed out“, he cooed in between your legs.

„Even your beautiful pussy is dry. That’s no way to live, don’t you think?“, he asked seductively.

Slowly, he placed wet kisses all over your core, taking his time to arouse you properly.

Luckily, that didn’t take long.

„So wet, so fast, princess“, he hummed in admiration.

„Like I had a choice“, you snapped back at him.

His cheeky giggles filled the whole room. He knew what effect he had on you and he loved it, thrived off of it.

„Even if you’re acting like a brat right now… I can’t think of anything else but eating you out. Isn’t that crazy, y/n?“

You pushed your hips against his face, ushering him to finally do it. His plan was working without you even realizing. You were no longer thinking about your doomed health, but his tongue circling around your clit.

„Seongie“, you whined.

„Yes, my love?“

He batted his Bambi eyes at you, playing innocent. You grabbed a fistful of his long hair and pushed him into your pussy, making it utterly clear that you were done waiting.

Like a real man he devoured all of you, instantly. His tongue slippery circling around your throbbing clit, his long fingers quickly pushing in and out of your heated entrance, turning you into a trembling mess right in front of him.

Your sticky juices were dripping down his cheek as he finally came back up, grinning from ear to ear.

He didn’t say a word but just watched. Your chest was breathing heavily, eyes shut and mouth wide open.

„Bingo“, he applauded himself. He got up swiftly and laid down next to you, grabbing your delicate hands and squeezing them lightly.

„Baby, what are you thinking about now?“, he asked smoothly.

„Not a single thing“, you answered truthfully.

„Not one thought?“

„No, it‘s like you fucked me brainless“, you mused.

„Shit, I like that“, he said with a big grin. „Can we, like, do that again?“

[gabykatttt]

The Dazzlings vs Velvet and Veneer

Pt 12

Ms. Velvet where’s your brother Veneer? KidRitz asked.

Oh well for everyone who’s a huge Veneer fan I’m sorry he couldn’t make it tonight Velvet said.

The crowd let out a sad sigh until they heard a voice.

Stop the red carpet Adagio said stepping in.

This girl is a liar Aria said looking at Velvet.

You don’t know what you’re talking about Velvet said rolling her eyes.

But I do Sonata said getting closer to Velvet pulling out Floyd out of her pocket.

How did you- Velvet was cut off by Sonata speaking.

She’s been stealing this poor troll’s talent and forced her brother to tag along with her because she doesn’t have any talent of her own you big lying phony Sonata said.

And she tricked his brothers to save him by writing a letter and has them hostage Aria said.

The crowd gasped as the camera started recording Velvet making her chuckle nervously.

Okay I need to leave like right now Velvet said going inside the vehicle and drove off.

She’s getting away guys Theodore said pointing at the black vehicle.

Follow that luxury vehicle Sonata said.

With what car genius? Alvin asked.

Another vehicle approached them. The windows rolled down to reveal Brittany,Veneer,Poppy,Tiny and Branch.

You know how to drive? Adagio asked looking at Veneer.

Yes now get on we need to stop my sister before she uses Floyd’s brothers talent Veneer said.

The gang nodded as they entered the car.

Hang on tight Brittany said as Veneer started driving.

Wuz up Mount Rageous you didn’t think I was going to perform the boring old stage now do you? Velvet asked.

That’s what we bought tickets for the rageoun said with excitement.

I’m taking this show on the road Velvet said.

Ugh great they’re blocking the view dammit Aria said.

Yeah they don’t have some respect with the blinking Sonata replied.

Velvet turns around smiling evilly that she lost them pressing the button on her shoulder pad making her eyes glowing pink and started singing.

Velvet🎶🎤

Sweet dreams are made of this

Who am I to disagree?

I travel the world and the seven seas

Everybody's looking for something

Ohh this this to much I only have my learners permit Tiny said.

Ahh Tiny give me the thing Branch said.

What thing? Tiny asked.

You know the bling thing Branch said.

Tiny looks at Branch with a confused look.

Come on Tiny don’t do this to me Branch said begging.

Ha I know you was talking about Tiny said giving Branch the baby chopper.

Oh that’s good Branch said.

Guys there she is Poppy said pointing at Velvet.

Velvet 🎶🎤

Some of them want to use you

Some of them want to get used by you

Some of them want to abuse you

Some of them want to be abused

Alright girls let’s end this battle Adagio said.

Sonata and Aria nodded.

Uhhh what’s the end of the road mean? Brittany asked looking at the dead end.

Ahhhhhhhhh the gang screamed as the car headed towards the dead end.

Velvet🎶🎤

Yeah

I'm gonna live forever

I'm gonna learn how to fly

(Fame)

I feel it comin' together (oh, yeah)

People will see me and cry

(Fame)

I'm gonna make it to heaven (heaven)

Light up the sky like a flame

(Fame)

I'm gonna live forever

Baby, remember my name

Oh no Branch said looking at the yacht.

What do we do? Poppy asked.

Let’s hustle Tiny said pressing the hustle button.

Wait what’s happening? Theodore asked letting out a scream.

I didn’t sign up for this Sonata said holding on to Brittany tightly.

Oh god I’m gonna be so fucking sick Adagio said trying to hold herself together.

Aria stayed silent looking at the view.

I don’t feel so good Veneer said trying to hold it in.

The gang kept on screaming until they saw a motorcycle approaching them.

Great we’re so fucking doomed Aria said rolling her eyes.

Bridget Poppy said.

Poppy Bridget said.

So glad you guys made it Poppy said smiling.

Me too and I brought someone to join us Bridget said.

Viva you showed up Poppy said.

Yeah I’m kinda freaking out a bit Viva said.

What the hell is going on here? Adagio asked.

Who’s that other troll? Sonata asked.

That’s Viva Poppy’s sister Branch said.

Sister? Aria asked.

Yes they’re constantly sisters Branch said.

Makes perfectly sense Sonata said.

Veneer kept on looking at the view.

Are you okay? Sonata asked.

Yeah just feeling a little nervous of stopping my sister Veneer said.

I know it’s hard for you to be against your sister but she needs to understand what she’s doing is wrong Sonata said.

I know that’s what I’ve been telling her but she refuses to hear me out Veneer said.

Don’t worry we’re in this together alright Sonata said.

Oh oh hold on to cupcakes Tiny said pointing at the yacht that Velvet is in.

Alright girls let’s end this Adagio said.

Sonata and Aria nodded as they opened the door.

I have a bad feeling about this Veneer thought still looking at the view.

@simplydannie @angixraa @justnat3 @zephyrmars @goreroll @grinnworld @once-ler-ask-blog153 @horrorartist23

[rulers-of-hungary-tournament]

ROUND 3, MATCH 4

Admin's commentary: ...okay this one is just. Not fair. For once I wish the Czechs were there to balance the score, although it still would be an incredibly lopsided battle. Zmikund, my poor baby.

***

Zsigmond (Žigmund Luxemburský) 1387-1437

also king of Bohemia and emperor of the Holy Roman Empire, elsewhere best known from what he did to Jan Hus, but we don't have enough time to unpack that, needless to say he's responsible for the bratríks (branch of hussites that went on supply raids into Hungary), so fuck him just for that

his rule in Hungary was long and eventful, after he secured the throne, his first order of business was a war with Ottomans, which ended in the catastrophic battle of Nicopolis, later another war, during which he regained Beograd, but lost Golubac, which was an important fortress

after the Hungarian nobles were found to conspire against him, he instituted harsh repressions, destroying many important noble houses, which he then tried to replace with a nobility faithful to him - but that just caused yet another conspiracy, which Zsigmond had to appease by marrying Barbara of Celle

founded the Order Of The Dragon, which is how Vlad II. Dracul and after him his son Vlad III. Dracula got their monikers

supported the rights of cities, especially in his Minor Decree, but lest our fellow medieval city kinnies start liking him too much, he was also the guy who lended several cities in Spiš to the Poles (cities formally stayed part of Hungary, but the profits from them went to the king od Poland; which is basically how it stayed untill the divisions of Poland)

he also instituted another two law codes concerning courts and army, gave himself placetum regium (right to veto reading of papal bulls on his territories, which meant he could witheld the orders of the pope itself from his people; @best-habsburg-monarch might recognize this one)... basically for better or for worse, he was a Big Damn Deal here, truly one of the most important monarchs of Hungary, just look at how long his entry is

@biksarddedrak said about him: "I want to see Zsigmund to win because well: a) catastrophic results of battle of Nicopolis weren't his fault. Those damm Frenchmen once again doomed Europe by their arrogance. Funny enough they were so scared after this battle, that it ended their support for any war with Ottomans in the future. (Forget that whole beef with Habsburgs, that comes much later.); b) ugh, well, he may king of the Romans and king f the Bohemia and temporary the most inportant ruler of Christendom, but it was the kingdom of Hungary he could trully call his own and had here full authority. And that is truly impressive because, well... Hungary was always kinda difficult to manage.; c) the dragon. The Dragon. THE DRAGON!!!; d) and also time to spice up relationship between Slovaks and Czechs right after anniversary of our divorce.

I.Mátyás (Matej I.); also known as Hunyadi Mátyás (Matej Korvín) 1458-1490

I mean, do I even have to say anything??? you know who this guy is right.

fought the Ottomans. supported arts and sciences. instituted important reforms. founded Academia Istropolitana. made Buda the capital and built the Buda Castle. gained the crown of Bohemia and stole territory from Austria. the man. the myth. the legend.

@deetherusalka said about him: "Lmao Bohemian crown snatcher, it's still so funny to me how in Czechia he's always presented as the evil himself and then everywhere else he's celebrated (which is not wrong imho! it's just funny how the narrative changes depending on perspective you learn about it)"

@durzarya said about him: #listen i love Mátyás király and i have voted for him#but my guy had some interesting policies#hilarious information about him: at 19 he captured Vlad Țepeș

@biksarddedrak said about him: #It's not even fight#It's just bloody beating#Matyás is remembered even in many historical legends as a good and just ruler#he reformed military and made the world fear Hungary#first profesional army#he managed to pay not only for the one for a THREE armies at a time#also his love with his wife Beatrice is a thing of a legends#The GOOD sort of legends#also I am completely obsessed with a way how his name is pronouced#seriously check that out it's hilarious#black army

[thejediandthemandalorian]

Fic Writer 20 Questions

I was tagged by @texasdreamer01 😊

1.) How many works do you have on ao3

9, though some of them are only visible if you're logged in.

2.) What's your ao3 word count?

64,757, not a lot but there's nothing wrong with that.

3.) What fandoms do you write for?

Star wars, lots of Star Wars. I think I wrote for Yuri!!! On Ice before? I used to write for Marvel, I did a little bit of Phantom of the Opera (very little), I have some unpublished Avatar the Last Airbender fics, and I am currently writing for Our Flag Means Death 🤭 I hope around depending on what I feel/am hyperfixating on, but ultimately it always comes back to Star Wars.

4.) What are your top five pics by kudos?

Fighting For Your Power - one of my first published Star Wars fics. Definitely not my favorite and also unfinished, a common occurrence with my ever changing brain.

If I Could Hold You For a Minute (Darling, I'd do it Again.) - Codywan. A little hurt comfort thing that takes place after the Rako Hardeen incident

Orbital Decay - another Codywan fic, probably my longest posted fic at this point in time.

And cowboy is his name - a short little bobadin cowboy au that I'm thinking of adding more onto, whether it's little snippets or an actual story is to be seen.

To Be A Good Soldier - a Commander Cody fic, kinda my own little headcanon as to how he got his scar.

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do, it just takes me a while to get there. I'm always a little slow on the up taking. I reply to comments because someone took a brief moment of their time after reading my story to let me know their thoughts, and it means the world to me, so the least I can do is respond to their comments.

6.) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

A fic that no longer is on AO3 🙈 I took it down after a couple years of like....no one reading it, and decided to keep it to myself, like a dragon. The story is hurt comfort without any of the comfort lol. Poor poor Garashir, doomed by the narrative and also me.

7.) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oooooh let me think. Recently they all have happy endings because I myself need one. Uhhhhhh. Probably Orbital Decay. My babies get together very tentatively at the end.

8.) Do you get hate on fics?

Ehhh my fics don't get seen by a wide enough audience I think. The only 'hate' I've ever gotten was someone demanding me tag something, but it wasn't even very hateful so. No I guess not.

9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Once upon a long time ago, but I haven't in ages and frankly it makes me uncomfortable to write, always has.

10.) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I don't, it's not something that holds my interest.

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of...😳

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

No sir-y

13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Yes and no? It's a collaborative fic, but I'm not the one writing it, I just had the base idea and give more ideas for the concept and squeal and cry over it.

14.) What's your all time favorite ship?

It changes with the tides, but how can I pick one set of my beloveds over another?

15.) What's a WIP you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

All of them. Lol uhh I really really wanna get the Codywan AU fic written, but I'm at a point where I currently don't have it in me, I don't have much writing in me at all right now.

16.) What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue. I love dialogue. I've also been told, and I have to trust what people tell me, that I'm very descriptive and also know how to write a fight scene.

17.) What are your writing weaknesses?

Lack of confidence in my skills. Inability to finish what I've started. Making sure I'm keeping people in character, and also I tend to lack in the plot department.

18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Well, I think so long as you...ugh this one is tricky cause I don't know how to phrase it. I like to write in other languages in very very small doses. A little smattering here and there. But also, I feel like it's important to know the language you're writing in or consult someone who does for accuracy? Idk how to explain it.

19.) First fandom you wrote for?

Marvel. Marvel. And more Marvel. I had a very long story (with no actual plot) posted to a different site, and then took to writing people's requests for Marvel ship fics for a time.

20.) Favorite fic you've ever written?

Uhhh idk To Be a Good Soldier? I'm not entirely sure. Maybe it will be the little OFMD fic idea I had, but who knows.

Softly nudging @poibynt @missypup @frostbitebakery and anyone else who might like to do this

[nimata-beroya]

MY THOUGHTS ON THE MANDALORIAN - Chapter 23: "The Spies"

Right now, I have the mighty need to pay Jon Favreau a visit. One which would be not beneficial for his overall health. I heard vague rumors that this episode was going to be a rough one to watch, but I avoided catching any details. I don't know if knowing what was going to happen would've made it easier to bear, but dang! It hit me hard.

Loosing yet another of my beloved characters in a short time has me reeling. How dare you, Favreau? HOW.DARE.YOU?! It started very funny, but that ending destroyed me.

This is going to be a long one (testament to how great the episode was). So read at your risk.

Hmm, this imperial chick again. What are you up to now? who are you meeting with? I don't think Gideon is bold enough to be on Coruscant, but… Oh, a probe droid! ok, through a holo, yeah that makes sense. And there he is! Ugh! Poodoo is going to hit the fan now.

Woah! where are you hiding, Gideon? This is cool and terrifying.

A meeting! Do I know anyone there?

Oof! Imperial using the same tactic that the rebellion used at the beginning of appearing nothing more than an unorganized group of remnants is like YIKES! 😬😬 Dare I say whose idea that was? Perhaps from a blue grand admiral well-known for studying his enemy and using their tactics against them?

HUX?! PALLAEON?!! OMG OMG OMG!!

LOL Shadow Council? Couldn't you find something more original. Just sayin'

Of course, Gideon is trying to take power from Thrawn while he's not around. Gideon, let me tell you right now that you'll lose, my friend, and you won't know what hit you once Thrawn put you in your place. You think you're a step ahead of everyone, but he's 10 steps ahead of you!

Ok, here we go! will Mandos behave?

Nicely done, Armorer. Big mama reminding younglings to be in their best behavior 😆

From Coruscant? How did you get that Karga, hmm? (Side note: this seemed sus to me since the first time I was watching the episode, but even more after I was done)

IG-11!!!

Oh, poor Grogu 🙁 he got scared as soon as saw the droid. Not that I blame him because of how things went last time.

IG-12? lol A mecha, nice solution.

Now, Grogu is happy!

🤣🤣🤣 bad baby! no squeezie! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Greef Karga is grandpa ™ spoiling Grogu rotten and Din can already see that this will bring more chaos to his life. He can feel it! 😂

OMG!!! Grogu can communicate now. His first word!! Sorta… and it's so appropriate that it's "No". Grogu officially entered the terrible twos! Din is doomed now 🤣🤣🤣 This is so hilarious!!

🤣🤣 Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Din makes the example, of course! and he volunteers Grogu too?! Are you insane? Actively taking your son into dangerous situations is not good parenting, Din. JFYTK! But I love that Grogu stands immediately.

Koska and Axe, too. I guess that was obvious. YES!! Good for you, Paz! (Side note: After watching the episode, I no longer think it was a good decision, Paz. You should've stayed 😭😭)

Ooh! The armorer is going too? With the vague rumors I heard that this episode will end not in the happiest terms, I have the feeling she might die 😩 I don't want that! (SN: yeah, my spidey senses weren't that off, after all. Somebody died 😭😭😭)

Ooh! the heartbreak of everyone watching Mandalore's surface from the Gauntlet 😖

What's that? Oh! More Mandalorians? On the planet? Why do I think this is sus? I mean, they could be working with Gideon to lead them to a trap (UGH! sometimes I hate being right! or maybe not, but it's really sus that these guys appeared and let the party just to where Gideon's base is? like 👀)

OH!!! Bo-Katan is telling what happened finally!!! (I've admitted before that I was never her biggest fan, but I feel for her. Obviously, Gideon didn't give her much of a choice and took advantage of that. And she has changed a lot since then and even before that. Her wise words come from painful experiences)

I like that Bo is admitting her mistakes out loud. Not spelled them out entirely, but enough for me to be appeased. One of my criticisms about her arc is the vague mention of her past mistakes. I don't mean it as to forever punish her for them, but to show how far she's come all these years. Because casual fans who haven't watched TCW or Rebels don't know she was Death Watch. And to me, that's an important thing.

And I ADORED Din's speech!!! And it's the confirmation of what I thought Bo's arc was about. It's about showing others and herself that what has value in a leader is not the blood or ancestry, nor possessing a magic weapon, but who you are as a person. Like Din says: honor, loyalty, character. And his vow brought tears to my eyes 🥹

So the Armorer is not going? 🤔 So maybe she doesn't die, but if she doesn't, who will? 😣

and these guys know exactly what they're going 🤨 Yeah, definitely sus. Something is going to happen and I'll hate it!

🤣 Paz and Axe playing together? Danger! Danger stranger! This is going to end badly… see what I mean! I'm not even surprised that Paz is the one issuing the challenge. And of course, Axe won't back down.

it should be embarrassing for both Paz and Axe that a child has to intervene and stop them. But I'm wheezing! it's so funny.

What do you mean, Din?! You've taught him that too!! from the top of my head, I can remember not less than 6 times that you've tried (at least) to deescalate, if not stop altogether, a fight. I mean, you just were going to do exactly that!!!

Oh my gaaaaawwwddddd! Din and Grogu nodding to each other!!! OMG that's so cuuuuuuute!!! 🥺🥺🥰🥰

Ok, I'm getting nervous, because I know something big is going to happen and I don't know what!

Wait! What the hell is that?!! Is that the Mythosaur?! (On the second viewing, I paused it to check carefully, and no, it's not the mythosaur. I don't see the tusks, so it has to be another nameless monster)

awww uncle Paz and Axe saving Grogu together 🥰

🥰🥰 Din "the galaxy's best dad" Djarin checking on his kid (But my dear, this is exactly why you shouldn't have brought him!)

Oh, dank ferrik! Imperial commandos?! Ugh! Stormtroopers, lots of them 😖

oh fuck! no no no no!!! That looks too imperial!!! There's a post there!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I knew it!!! It's a trap!

Nooooo!!! stop it!!! Turn around!!!! TURN AROUND!!!!

I TOLD YOU!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

DIN!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

I KNEW IT!!!!! I've been saying since episode 2 that dark troopers were made of beskar alloy!! Somebody listened to me? probably not many.

Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck!!! No, DIIIIIIIIIIIN!!!!

yeah, that would've been nice, Bo. Problems for many people would've gone poof if Gideon were dead!

yeah, like that trick would work twice! Pfft! Please Gideon, come up with something better

omg omg omg!!!! nooooooo Paz!!!!! NOOOO!!!!!! NO that's NOT the way!!! noooooooo!!!😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Afterthoughts

I'm devastated because Paz is my second favorite mandalorian after Din, and I can believe that I've lost 2 characters very dear to me in as many weeks! Why they want to ruin my comfort shows with this level of angst?!! Gosh, it hurts!! All I can think about is in the poor Ragnar that's now fatherless 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔 (Does he have a mom, or he just turned into a foundling for a second time in his short life?)

There's something else that was left without a clear answer. Who the spies are? Because, yeah, Elia Kane is A spy, but the title is in plural, so who is or are the other(s)? I have several suspects.

The first ones, of course, are the "survivors" in Mandalore. They seemed to be in the right place and right time and knew exactly how to go where the others needed to go. Suspiciously convenient, too convenient.

But maybe, they're not the spies, if Jon Favreau chose to be a little less obvious. If not them, then it could be the armorer. I mean, everyone is suspecting her. She has always been pretty sketchy and super mysterious and manipulative, and this season she has had all of us going back and forth with her inconsistencies. And the fact that she went back to the ship in orbit instead of going to the main forge, a place she spoke with such a fondness just before they were led to a trap? Sus, very sus!

However, after thinking all day, there's one thing that makes a case in her favor. If she is the other spy and is working with Gideon, why was he so surprised, like genuinely shocked, that the children of the watch and the nite owls were teaming up? Why she didn't tell him? It could be that she's playing both sides; it's a big possibility, but maybe she's not the spy. She's just the distraction from the real thing.

(Also, there's like a sort of plot armor with her, I think. Someone really big badass needs to be in the fleet when the bombers attack to lead the counterattack, since everyone else (known BAMFs, I mean, not extras) is on the planet's surface, Jon F gave her the job. Maybe?)

My third suspect, and I can't believe I'm going to say this, but what if Greef Karga is the spy? I know he has changed a lot since season 1, and he's a good friend to Din and a sorta grandpa to Grogu, but that thing with the bottle from Coruscant raised all my red flags instantly. At first, I didn't know why, but once I watched the whole episode, it went from a silly thing to a big red flag! I hope I'm dead wrong and this is just my hyperactive imagination playing tricks on me. But now under this light, even the gesture of welcoming all the Mandalorians on Nevarro could take a new nefarious meaning.

If you think my list of suspects is done, you're mistaken. I have 2 more. Axe Woves and Koska Reeves. Him, because his ego might be still wounded that Bo kicked his ass last week. I mean, it's a lame excuse, but he wouldn't be the first to do something like this for that reason. And she because there's nothing suspicious about her. It's crazy, I know, but the best traitor/spy/etc. in any story is who no one expects to be. Even if she had a nice moment with Bo sharing a silent conversation before Bo said how she surrendered to Gideon, and Koska was the first of the nite owls to volunteer to go to Mandalore, she still could be the spy. And it'd hurt Bo greatly that either of them betrays her to Gideon.

In conclusion, I suspect of everyone except for Din, Grogu, Paz (RIP), and Bo. Everybody else is a person of interest in my book. And there's a whole week of waiting to know the answer to this and to the fate of Din! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! How will I stay sane till then?

I warned you that this one would be long, and I think I've spoken enough, so I'll shut up now. See you next week!

[devilsanus616]

The ending is so sweet. They deserve it, especially Wanda. I was so angry at both of them, Wanda and R from college, for not trying to work things out and letting stupid jealousy get in the way. They acted on emotion. But who am I to talk seriously? I always think after I've exploded and painted everything with my emotions. But still, bad, girls. That was bad. Communication people, it's the key to a healthy relationship

Doom is such a jerk, ugh. Vision is too sweet and innocent, is like a baby. I'm glad you didn't put him in the story as the bad guy

The way Wanda felt so regretful and R so bitter and uncertain made me feel anxious, like there was no closure for either of them because their time in college was messy, especially their breakup

But it's this feeling that makes me fall in love with your writing more and more. You're one of the few writers who can make me feel things the way you do (idk if you understood)

Speaking of falling in love. The moment when Wanda realized that she wasn't falling back in love with R but that she had always been in love with R I think I just died dead

And the picture. THE PICTURE TOO. UGH. She kept it all these years, just to remember what actual love is, as well a love she thought she couldn't have anymore because she was sure she'd ruined it. She was hurting herself on purpose my poor baby

Overall I give this story 9.99999/10 just to piss you off

meant to be yours | wanda maximoff & fem!reader

Nearly eight years after your breakup with her, you meet Wanda again when she enrols her children at the preschool you work at, evoking a multitude of old feelings and regrets.

Word count: 14 245

Tags: angst, fluff, pining that is a lot more mutual than it seems to either of you, mentions of marital issues, sorority!wanda & milf!wanda (best of both worlds), doctor doom makes his grand entrance

For the last few years, all Wanda has known how to do is compromise. It was a method of survival, a way to make sure she made something of herself as she aged.

The life she had made for herself wasn’t what she’d envisioned; ever since high school, Wanda dreamed of being a journalist for a fashion line. She loved writing and fashion design although the last time she ever had any large projects with either of those passions was in college.

Somewhere along the way, Wanda became convinced that the only thing she could ever be good at was planting down exactly where she’d always been — not taking leaps of faith lest she tumble and have nothing to fall back on. 

That was why she settled for a life married to her college boyfriend, staying at home most of the time caring for her two four-year-olds, Tommy and Billy. They were raised to be good, sweet boys, and though Wanda had heaps of regrets, her sons were always her greatest joys.

Victor Doom was an aerospace engineer who focused on robotics and developing other technological advancements for the company at which he worked — the household’s breadwinner.

In college he was especially well-known for being one of if not the only campus frat boy with a working brain, who in his final year helped paton tech with his astrophysics professor, subsequently earning himself a position as an engineer at a renowned corporation where he’s since been employed.

All she’d been doing since college was compromise — where to relocate, when to have children, whether or not she pursued a career. Some days she was somehow comforted by the fact that she didn’t need to do any more than live in the providing shadow of her husband, for it meant that she never had to reach for anything above, and that meant she never had to risk failing.

But other days, when she was selfish, Wanda wished she had more. She wished she had more friends, she wished she had a better marriage and a fulfilling job. Then she’d make dinner for her husband and settle around the table with him and Tommy and Billy at the end of the day and realise that she couldn’t have what she sometimes felt she wanted.

How could she?

At thirty years old with no opportunity for anywhere but forward along the path she’d always been afraid to step off of, there was nothing more for her but this. 

In the morning an argument took place in the kitchen, hushed and whispered so as to keep it muffled from the twins who were sleeping upstairs. Victor and Wanda had been discussing putting the twins into the summer preschool program for some time, as the private school they were planning on enrolling them in the fall semester had an optional preschool program.

He was on board up until this morning when Wanda brought up the idea that she use the free time to get a part-time job at a local newspaper company that was looking for journalists. 

Upset at her suggestion, he called her selfish and accused her of intentionally suggesting bringing the twins to preschool so she could waste time on her own self-absorbed endeavours. She tried to tell him that she felt she had to do more with herself, and that she didn’t only want to be a stay-at-home mother, especially when she had the education to pursue a career like he did. 

Rationally he couldn’t understand her wanting to find a job when he provided everything and more for their family, but it was her comparison of their likeness that set Victor off and he became furious and had trouble keeping his voice down, forcing Wanda to quickly abandon the idea of applying to the part-time job to keep him placated.

He left in a frustrated state though he ended up getting what he wanted, and Wanda woke the boys up for their first day of preschool. 

The two young boys had moved to cuddle up beside each other through the night, with Tommy having switched beds to sleep next to his brother.

Wanda woke the both of them, running her hands over their tiny heads and soft hair, and she watched as their little noses scrunched up and their short little arms unwrapped from each other's warm pyjama-clad bodies.

As she watched them arise, she thought to herself how lovely it would be to care for her sweet sons like this for a very long time, and she realised how not-so-terrible living a life without pursuing her other dreams would be. 

“G’Morning, mama,” Billy mumbled and his mother leaned down to kiss his scrunched up little nose. 

Oh, it wouldn’t be terrible at all. 

In the car after breakfast, Wanda explained to the twins what preschool was and how much fun it would be to meet new friends and play games a few days a week. The boys were thrilled and their mother was relieved, for Wanda didn’t wish to abandon the plan she and her husband had made by letting Tommy and Billy skip their first day, and she knew that if she let them stay home because of their whining, they’d whine all day until their father returned home in the evening.

But fortunately for her, the twins were ecstatic.

She didn’t know until her arrival that the first day was also when the parents were allowed a sit-in to allow the children to acclimate while also giving them a first-hand perspective of their child’s first day.

From the preschool calendar, she knew the potluck was on Friday but not that the first day was practically an orientation. If she knew, she would’ve insisted for Victor to take at least the morning off to join her in it.

The forty-minute long sit-in orientation where Wanda sat on a short plastic chair along the edge of the learning carpet along with all the other parents allowed for them to see for themselves that their children would get the most out of their preschool experiences, and that they could be relied on to care for their children.

As she gathered her things that were asked to be placed atop the class desks along with all the other parents’ belongings in the back, Wanda watched as the parents around her seemed to make fast friends. She wondered if they had all somehow known each other before the first day.

In any case, she felt lonely without her husband, especially as she watched her sons socialise joyfully with the other children of the class, watching the precious sight of their children take place without her husband with her.

She carefully slipped away along the walls from the groups of quietly chatting parents as they also gathered their things until a familiar voice made Wanda’s perk up as if she was suddenly summoned by dog whistle.

Darting her eyes around the busy room, Wanda walked forward slowly as her eyes raked through the classroom behind the heap of parents between her and the voice that seemed to come from the back of the classroom, to the right, and…

Wanda’s chest tightened painfully and her breath caught in her throat as she caught sight of you. It was you with your hair but longer now, your height the same as it had been, your voice that was a few slight tweaks worth’s difference from the one that had been echoing in Wanda’s mind, albeit fainter these days, ever since the last she heard it in person.

Her hand reached back and she pressed the pad of her finger into a sharp edge of the cubbies behind her, sending a sharp pain up the nerves of her finger and forcing sound through its muffled barrier and finally freeing her locked joints. 

She tore her eyes away from you and stopped just before the doorframe of the classroom.

Carefully, when she had confidence in her breathing, Wanda raised her head and took another look at you. 

All the different ways she’d start a conversation with you ran through her mind and she soon began thinking of all the things she’d like to say, all the things she’d like to ask you and all the things she wanted to know about how you were living your life now.

But her fingers tightened around the doorknob and she looked over to it, seeing the gold of her wedding ring reflect the classroom lights. Then she suddenly felt unbecoming and terrible about herself, so she looked back and saw her boys enjoying themselves under the watch of the preschool teachers before she quietly slid out of the class.

When Victor came home early and agreed to go pick up the boys to make up for his absence at the sit-in, Wanda quickly looked through her closet and searched for the letters she received from you the summer she was with you during which she had a three-week long trip to Saint Petersburg with her family.

As the tips of her fingers felt the base of a small rectangular box, Wanda began slowly running the pads of her fingers along the bottom until they caught onto the slim edge of an old sheet of paper. 

Slowly as to not rip it, Wanda slid the paper out along the open space between the edge of the box and the other stacked mementos she’d kept since college.

Since you. 

Before she opened the letter, she questioned why she’d even gotten the urge to look for it and what she was initially intending for when she began searching for it. She looked down and saw the familiar loops and lines of your handwriting and she abandoned the train of thought, slowly unfolding the sheet and raising it up so she could read it. 

For some reason she felt guilty for how long it’d been since she last read from it, and the part of her from her younger years scolded her for stopping the way she used to run her eyes over every inch of your penmanship since the last time she was with you. 

Anyways, Wanda read through the letter and felt an addictive pulse resounding within her chest, a lightness and a sort of prickly sharp wave that seized her throat and travelled down into her lungs. 

As she let the recollection of having ever been worthy enough for this kind of love, reading the way you described how much you missed her while she was gone and how much you loved her, Wanda felt an odd sense of despair knowing such a thing could only ever exist for her through memory. 

She couldn’t quite ask herself whether she was mourning the kind of love that was written on the paper or just who she received it from. 

Still as she tucked away the letter and ran the tips of her fingers over the other stashed-away mementos in the box, Wanda still couldn’t figure out why she wanted to look for them in the first place, why seeing you today made her want to open the box hidden along the top back corner of her closet. 

But she still sorted through it, seeing a flyer for one of your college plays in there and a music CD you put together for her, and more small trinkets all with meaning and all safely-kept through the years to keep the memory of you stored.

Downstairs, the front door opened and along came the excited footsteps of Tommy and Billy, and Wanda tucked everything back into the box and placed it back into the top shelf of her side of the walk-in closet. 

Friday came around, and this time Victor did take a day off to go with Wanda to the potluck; parents and children alike from both the elementary and preschool were being invited to have lunch together for a traditional welcoming event for the start of the summer. 

Since Tommy and Billy had already made a handful of friends and were by then already quite attached to the idea of playing with their friends outside the classroom, they were dressed in their very best for the sunny day.

Wanda made a conscious effort to look her best too, for she knew that today she was finally going to come up with the confidence to start a conversation with you. She tried to approach it from a professional point of view, to see it as practical if anything to make connections with the preschool’s instructors.

But she couldn’t deny the way she kept adjusting and readjusting her hair in the side mirror of the car as Victor drove them to lunch, and that wasn’t really required of her to be practical.

Tommy and Billy tugged at their father’s hands and pulled them towards the preschool, excited to show him what he’d been missing while he was at work.

There were a bit more people than Wanda anticipated though the expansive playing field of the preschool was certainly enough for the size of both the preschoolers and the kindergarteners from the private school. So she carefully slipped through the crowds and towards the potluck’s tables to set down the dish she made at home.

She saw you there too amongst a line of other parents along the edge of the table filling their plates. 

You were one of the teachers’ assistants from what Tommy and Billy had told her during their many excited retellings of their days when they got back home.

Wanda inhaled sharply and kept the casserole dish in her hands as she subtly waited for the line of parents to clear so she could inch her way closer to you. She spotted a clearing on the table that was close to you and carefully set it down.

She pressed the pads of her fingers into the scalding ceramic to give herself some confidence and she looked up from the table of food, finally laying her eyes on your face within a metre from you for the first time in nearly eight years.

To seem as if she’d approached you naturally, Wanda cleared her throat a little and turned her body to face you. She tucked her hair behind her ear and parted her lips. 

It all seemed like she was moving too slowly — mechanically — while the beating of her heart made her feel like she was moving too quickly — messily.

“Hi,” she said, stupidly. She got your attention at least and you lifted your head and looked at her. 

It was then that Wanda felt she’d bitten off far more than she could chew as she felt herself seized by the sight of you. 

Your hair was longer, like she’d seen on Monday. You looked older now, but the years had been very kind to you. She felt herself ache. You looked so beautiful, and she felt she would be trapped in this moment forever, unable to look away from you, feeling that if she had, you might suddenly disappear for another eight years.

The slight stutter in your greeting might’ve indicated to anyone else that you did recognise her and that her presence in front of you had stunned you momentarily, but Wanda, caught up and otherwise distracted by the sight of you, didn’t notice and so she introduced herself.

“I don’t know if you remember me from college, but–”

You nodded and interrupted her, “Wanda.”

Wanda hoped you didn’t notice how her eyes fell to your lips as you said her name, listening with her interest piqued the most beautiful medley of sound as it came from the way your lips wrapped around each syllable of her name.

It felt like an eternity had passed before your eyes garnered her attention again and she replied with a smile that looked relieved, perhaps because of the fact that you’d remembered her. “How have you been doing? It’s been a long time.”

“I’ve been okay,” you answered simply, almost hesitant to share your present life with a figure of your past. 

You looked over to the other side of the sunny field where the twins were being carried on Victor’s shoulders. “They’re yours, right?” you asked, gesturing over to them. “Billy and Tommy.”

Wanda nodded proudly, looking over at her playing children before back over to you. “How did you know? Did they mention me?”

“Anyone who went to college with us still remembers the last name of the all-famous Victor Doom,” you said with a chuckle that might’ve seemed resentful to Wanda if she still wasn’t so taken by the sight of you.

“But, how are you?” you asked more seriously, straightening and looking at her. “You look great. What have you, uh, been doing? The last few years.”

She flushed when she watched you look down at her outfit and her hair and she fidgeted with her fingers, absently rubbing her thumb against tablecloth. “Not very much,” she answered. “I got married — to Victor, as you saw — then had Tommy and Billy.”

“That… sounds like a lot,” you said with a lighthearted laugh.

Wanda felt her heart beating against her ribs in a way that made her take in a breath to relieve the tension she felt in her chest as she listened to the way you laughed. She felt like a stupid flaky college sorority girl again.

“A lot, but not what I imagined for myself,” she confessed.

With an understanding nod, you then said, “You seem to be doing great for yourself, though.”

A cool wave of validation came over her and she beamed. “Thank you,” she responded. 

“A-And, you? Are you seeing any–”

Before Wanda could finish her question, one of the other instructors, one whose name Wanda did not know, called you over. You excused yourself and Wanda completely understood, allowing you to head over to where you were needed.

Although she had chances to approach you again throughout the afternoon, Wanda instead kept looking over at you from afar between conversations with her husband or other friends she miraculously made with other mothers. 

She didn’t want to press, and she was worried that the thrill of seeing you inflated her sense of reality, and she didn’t want to overstep or misread anything.

After all, the last you’d spoken wasn’t on very good terms and although the years may have done away with the wounds from what had happened, no amount of time could change a future friendship that might simply cease to exist because of the past.

So Wanda had to settle with having only a single brief conversation with the person whose letters she’d kept since college, and she left the potluck early with her husband so the boys could bring one of their friends home for a playdate.

To celebrate the start of the summer and the successful lunch, Wanda and Victor stopped at a farmer’s market that they passed in the car for ice cream with the twins and the friend they were bringing home.

As they waited in line, Wanda began to wander and eventually found herself in front of a handmade jewellery booth. She was initially looking in a solely appreciative way, not planning on buying anything but in awe of the shop owner’s talent until she laid her eyes on a pair of earrings.

She reached for them and brought them up into the light of the sun and out of her shadow so she could more clearly look at the tiny silver dolphins hanging from them. They were perhaps half an inch in size and really adorable and subtle.

The rest of her family caught up to her with ice cream in the young boys’ hands while Wanda had just purchased the dolphin earrings. She showed them to Tommy when he questioned what she’d bought.

“It’s so pretty,” Billy mused.

Wanda agreed, “It is really pretty.”

“Is it a gift, mama?” asked his twin.

“A little bit of one, maybe,” she answered with a contemplative hum then took his hand as the five of them headed back to the car together.

She’d wear it eventually.

Dolphins were your favourite animal.

That evening after the boys had gone to bed, Wanda straddled her husband’s hips in their bedroom, knees hugging either side of his lap as he guided her forward with his hands on her hips. He thrusted up into her while Wanda leaned forward with her hand flat beside his head to keep herself up. 

She was too much in her head to enjoy herself — not that Victor cared whether she was involved during sex, and she couldn’t stop thinking of the letter she reread earlier that week and the dolphin earrings she bought and how pretty you looked at the potluck.

With a final grunt and a particularly harsh thrust into her that made Wanda wince beyond the mess of her hair, Victor released into her and soon untensed. He lifted her from his hips and ran his hand down the side of her bare thigh, perhaps meant to be some act of affection, before turning onto his side with a satisfied exhale.

Wanda cleaned herself up in the washroom and once she finished washing her face before heading to bed, she looked at herself in the mirror and felt something curious and desolate, so she stepped forward to get a better look at herself.

She wasn’t under any form of illusion; she was well-aware of how she’d aged over the years, from occasional periodic observations like how her skin looked a tad different in certain places.

But under the burning scrutiny of the washroom lighting, all Wanda could see were smile lines and signs of ageing and reminders upon reminders about how differently she looked from the last time she was with you in college.

Ever since she saw you for the first time in eight years on Monday, you were her landmark in time for nearly everything. She made dozens of comparisons a day, seeing how much things had changed and when the last time she thought of something was — minuscule things that seemed significant when she wondered about how you saw things from your perspective. 

Tonight, she wondered how you might think of how she looked now. 

She wasn’t sure what she was hoping for, but Wanda knew she’d been hoping for something because the very sight of how she looked in the mirror made her feel let-down, almost hopeless. 

And you looked so pretty at the potluck.

There were things about herself that she was glad had changed since college, but she wasn’t in any way thrilled about how much she seemed to have aged. 

Victor had brought it up a handful of times before, but it was only under the light of the washroom with the thought of you in mind that Wanda realised how right he was. 

Wanda wasn’t sure how exactly she was feeling by the time she shut the washroom light off and went to bed, but she knew that she was certainly glad to finally pull her attention away from the mirror and to think of only you when she closed her eyes instead of her reflection.

Over the next week or so, Wanda tried her best to be impartial with how she approached driving the boys to and from preschool while also ensuring that she only behaved as any other mother would around you. 

She allowed Victor to drop the twins off and pick them up without insisting she go along just to see you, and if she did catch sight of you, she’d try her best to wave only when it seemed necessary — when anyone else would’ve done it. 

The feelings that buried themselves deep within Wanda’s chest ever since she first saw you nearly three weeks ago had begun to overcome her in a way that she could only rely on convention to ensure she was behaving as she should. 

But after a while she began to miss interacting with you and after an amount of time she started to feel picky about how to approach you again. 

Fortunately, Tommy and Billy’s birthdays were approaching and they were adamant about having you there; it gave her an excuse to start a conversation with you. 

So while Wanda went to pick the boys up from school, she approached you while you were with the kids, waiting for them to get picked up by the rest of the parents as they played outside. 

“Hi, Y/N,” she greeted with a smile, elated at the feeling of saying your name out loud. 

She was standing on the outside of the picket fence while you were on the other side, turning to face her. 

“Oh, hey!” you said and smiled too in a way that made Wanda feel like she wasn’t being too awkward. “Let me get the twins for you.”

Before you could leave, Wanda quickly interjected, “Actually, I was wondering if I’d be able to ask you something.”

You seemed the slightest bit wary and that brought about a twinge of sadness within Wanda, but she pressed on anyway; she could understand why you’d be doubtful of her intentions, even after all the years that’s passed. 

“This is... a little embarrassing to ask,” she began hesitantly, “but the twins begged for me to invite you to their birthday party this Sunday, so I was wondering if you’d like to come. They talk about you a lot and I think they’d just like for their favourite person to attend.”

She probably talked too much. 

“Favourite person, huh?” you repeated with an amused smile. 

Wanda was reassured by your lighthearted response. “Their words,” she said. 

“And their mother and father?”

“Forgotten — completely.”

You both laughed, though Wanda a moment after you as she was initially taken by the sight of sheer joy on your face, caused all because of her. 

After taking a moment to seriously consider the offer, you said, “Sunday? I can’t do that day, sorry. Would I be able to drop off a gift instead on Saturday?”

“Oh, that’s fine!” Wanda reassured with a wave of her hand. “Actually, we’re having dinner with just the four of us on Saturday, so you’re welcome to join us then instead.”

You had a feeling that Wanda was sort of trying her best to have you attend something for the twins, but a part of you also felt she was trying hard just to have you there. 

Though you knew you were completely free on Saturday, you took a moment before answering to look a bit less rushed in responding to Wanda’s offer. 

“Saturday should work,” you confirmed with a nod. 

Wanda perked up and smiled, thrilled at succeeding in inviting you over for dinner. “Alright. That sounds good.”

She watched as you pulled your phone out from your pocket and she swallowed, forcing herself not to hope too much from what you were about to do, as you easily could’ve been checking the time. 

But then you asked, “Would you mind if I got your number? So you can text me the address and all.”

Wanda hoped her fingers weren’t trembling as much as she felt they were as she reached forward and took your phone with an attempt at a professional nod.

“Of course,” she managed to say, repressing the onset of an excited smile.

You caught sight of her flushed cheeks and the forming dimples as she held back a smile, but you weren’t entirely sure what it meant.

Years ago you would’ve pinned it as a flattered blush, hints of a heart tenderly-touched and a sensitive soul. But the Wanda you eventually came to know… was disingenuous. 

Most things with her were. 

You tried not to be bitter and childish about what had happened years ago though you were almost certain that people like her didn’t change; you had to look away.

On Saturday evening, Wanda had finished getting dressed in something casual for a dinner at home but formal enough for having a guest over, and she was standing in front of her vanity surveying the dolphin earrings in the palm of her hand. 

She hadn’t worn them yet; she was saving them for a special occasion, for when she really wanted to make a gesture. 

But the silver of the dolphins were too reflective and the shape of the animal would’ve been clear from even two metres away, and that wasn’t subtle enough for the steadily-budding rekindling between her and you. 

So she opened her jewellery box and tucked the earrings away safely for a different time — a time she hoped would eventually come.

And most importantly, Wanda didn’t want to drive you away. 

Wanda was in the kitchen putting together some drinks when you knocked at the front door, gift in-arm. She looked over at the door, feeling a fury of anxious butterflies burst in her stomach as the reality set in that she was going to have dinner with you. 

Victor announced that he’d get the door and descended from upstairs where he’d been helping the boys get dressed for their very special guest. 

From the kitchen, Wanda could hear you greet her husband at the door and she began to steady her breathing. She focused instead on carefully placing mint into the cocktail glasses. 

“Is she… here?” she asked Victor over her shoulder in the most inconspicuous way she could when he stepped into the kitchen to check on the food.

“She’s waiting in the den,” he answered. “I told her you’d come around with drinks.”

Wanda told him it’d only be a few minutes until the rice and stir-fry would be ready, so he went back up to help finish getting the twins dressed before dinner was served.

On top of the fireplace in the den was a framed picture of Wanda’s college sorority, and leaning close to take a better look at it felt like peering into a sort of time machine. It felt like a completely different life, yet you could almost just recall things like when exactly the photo was taken as if it’d happened only months ago. 

The photo was of the entire sorority coming together to take a picture before campus closed for a week for the holidays. It was during a sorority event at the city’s ice rink, and you recalled being dragged over to it by Wanda, who was your girlfriend at the time. 

You were posed together near the corner of the group of other girls, Wanda’s arms squeezed around your shoulders while she stood on a pair of ice skates. 

“I made this for you,” a voice approached from behind, and you turned to see Wanda walking into the den with a drink in both hands. “A mojito. But for yours, without any alcohol because I know you’ll be driving home.”

She was wearing a red turtleneck and slacks. She had an expensive-looking watch on and pearl earrings, and for the first time you considered how rich she must be now that she was married to Victor Doom. 

Wanda saw the drink in the cocktail glass tremble slightly before you finally took it from her with a ‘thank you’ and she rubbed her palm down her hip nervously. 

The warmth from the fireplace made her cheeks feel so warm, and the shade of the fire made your skin look so pretty and soft with the way the gentle orange flickered against your face.

“So you have this picture here,” you noted and took a sip of the mojito as you gestured to the framed picture. “Framed and up on the mantle.”

Wanda tapped her fingernail against the side of the glass as she looked at the photo over your shoulder.

Damn. 

She forgot to take it down before you came, and now she looked obsessive and childish and overbearing. She would understand if you saw it that way, for there was really only one reason she’d ever have that photo up in her house, and she looked at it every single time she passed it since she moved in. 

“Y-Yes,” Wanda stuttered and straightened, feeling the condensation from the glass trickle down her fingers. She smiled a little, because she was a bit proud of the picture.

She couldn’t read your expression, not when your back was turned, until you looked back at her and said in a lighthearted tone, “You must’ve not changed very much since college, huh?”

It wasn’t accusing or rude, and Wanda felt that it would’ve hurt less if you had said it as an insult; you said it as if you’d never expected her to be different.

Even if it were true that Wanda hadn’t changed since college, the realisation wouldn’t have even disappointed you.

You would’ve expected it, and that made something behind Wanda’s ribcage ache. 

Her lips parted to say something, perhaps to protest, but she couldn’t figure out what she wanted to say before the shrill cheers of Tommy and Billy ran into the room at the sight of you.

Wanda stepped back and allowed them to tackle you excitedly before you set the mojito on the coffee table so you could lean down and hug them, wishing them both an early happy birthday. 

She listened, partially-absent, as you told the boys you’d give them their gifts after dinner. She watched you mostly, and how little you’d changed in the way you laughed and teased. 

Did it always feel like this, eight years ago?

Had she been so cruel with you that you truly couldn’t believe she was one to change after so long?

Was this the first time, out of all the inevitable others, that she realised the hurt she made you feel?

Victor called from the kitchen announcing that the dinner was ready and Wanda blinked out of her stupor to kiss the foreheads of her children and let you walk ahead first as the twins led you forward. 

You looked so pretty wearing a knit pullover that made everything about you look so soft and smelling of sweet sparkling champagne.

The mojito made her a little tipsy and she felt her face’s warmth as she kept looking up from her plate and over at you across the table where you were discussing all sorts of things with Tommy and Billy, who were still practically buzzing with joy at having you over for dinner. 

She watched your lips as they moved, imagined you reciting the words from the letter you wrote her years ago — imagined you meaning them like you did back then too.

Since she reread the letter for the first time in a while just three weeks ago, she could recall every word of it again like she used to be able to when she was much younger.  

She felt ashamed of herself and looked away from you to spare her dignity, though it would not be the last time she did.

For most of the dinner, Wanda was silent; Victor was always more of the talker between the two of them, she liked getting to watch you without the fear of sounding obsessive, and she very much enjoyed listening to you interact with the twins without interrupting. 

It was only during the gift-opening after dinner that Wanda blurted out in the middle of a conversation. 

They were opening up a wrapped book to see a picture book guide of dolphins, and Wanda was only halfway into feeling shocked about the coincidence before Billy giggled and said, “You really like dolphins as much as mama said.”

“What?” Wanda all but coughed out. 

Billy excitedly flipped through the book and insisted, “Mama, you said.”

“I…” She cleared her throat and her eyes flickered over to your face, half-expecting you to be furious for some reason. “I-I said what, Billy?”

“That Y/N likes dolphins,” Tommy answered and looked up from the book, now confused by his mother’s confusion.

Wanda shook her head insistently. “I don’t think I…” She trailed off and brought the rim of her mojito up to her lips to shut herself up. 

Her avoidance of your eyes made her miss how you looked across the dinner table at her and her flushed cheeks. 

Victor made a joke about how forgetful his wife was and although it was a tad too degrading for dinner with their children, Wanda was thankful for it anyways for it cancelled out any impending awkward silences caused by her inability to behave properly around you. 

Just how much had she been thinking of you to the point of completely tuning out when she spoke about you in front of her children?

“We’ve been talking a lot about dolphins at school,” you said and wiggled your eyebrows at them. “We’re learning about our favourite animals.”

You reached into the bag and pulled out two adorable stuffed animals, a horse and a red cardinal — the twins’ favourites. 

As they cheered and stood from their seats to round the table and hug you tightly, Wanda felt a mix of emotion whirling within her, a sense of shame and humiliation, but also so much adoration for you.

To the boys’ dismay, their bedtime came quicker than it felt it had and Wanda had to put them to bed. They both whined although having been given an extra hour to stay up for their birthday dinner with Y/N, but like the sweet boys they were, eventually listened to their mother’s delicate discipline. 

Her greatest, greatest prides.

They were good boys. 

Wanda had the twins say goodnight to you and thank you for coming, then excused herself for a moment to put them to bed. She’d come back down to see you out, but until then you promised to help clean up after dinner with Victor.

“You know, I remember a lot about you from college,” Victor told you as he handed you a glass to dry. 

You placed the dry glass onto the rack beside the sink then replied, “I remember a lot about you too. Though, uh, we didn’t really talk, I think.”

“Yeah, but I talked a lot with Wanda,” he said. “And she’d blabber about you, like, every other day sometimes. So it feels like I know you well.”

Something about that made you bristle; you didn’t want to be known by Victor Doom. 

When you were finished with the dishes, Victor dried his hands and leaned against the sink, scrutinising you in an odd way. 

“You look good,” he then complimented. 

The flicker in his eyes suddenly became perceptible, and you quickly picked up on what he was trying to inch closer to. 

You eyed the front foyer then looked back over to him to continue seeing civil. “Thank you,” you answered simply. 

He was tall. 

Imposing. 

“Are you with anyone I’d know from college?” he asked, moving the dish cloth between his fingers.

“No.”

He scoffed in teasing disbelief. “I’m not under any illusion that…” He trailed off with a chuckle, leaving the rest of his words to imagination. “Especially when time’s done you so well.”

You felt like tearing your hair out and you felt a dozen weights being lifted from your shoulders when you heard Wanda begin to descend the staircase. 

“Give me your number,” Victor then asked in a hushed, hurried tone. “We’ll set something up.”

Wanda reaching the bottom of the staircase allowed you to quickly slip out of the constricting corner of the kitchen and you grabbed your things from the sofa in the den before following you out to the front porch. 

Victor Doom was still a huge dick, and you were beginning to have a terrible perspective on the couple. They didn’t change at all, and you weren’t sure what you came to the dinner anticipating, but knowing that Victor was still the kind of man Wanda was comfortable being married to planted an indescribable bitterness in you. 

“Thank you for coming,” Wanda said quietly as the warm silence of the summer evening soon enveloped the two of you alone on the porch when she closed the front door. 

“The boys really, really enjoyed having you over. I’m sure they’ll be talking about it for weeks,” she added with a laugh. 

You nodded and turned to look at her. “Yeah. It’s no problem, I really enjoyed celebrating with them. They’re lovely,” you answered.

Being in front of you now, Wanda wanted to say a lot and wanted to ask you about everything you’d been up to over the last eight years. 

There was no one to interrupt now, and it would be alright and objectively appropriate to start some small talk about your life while also being able to hide her buzzing curiosity behind convention. 

But all she could find herself telling you was one thing — all that she could get past her lips. 

“I really… I really have changed since college, Y/N,” she uttered quietly, pressing her nail into the pad of her thumb in front of her stomach.

It was important to her that you knew that for some reason. 

You regarded her for a moment then nodded, and Wanda seemed relieved at what seemed to her as trust established. 

The moment you stepped onto the porch, you told yourself how irritated you were at both Wanda and Victor, how unimpressed and upset you’d felt because of how little she’d changed since college. 

Yet all you could think about on the way home was her.

It felt that something was gnawing at you from the inside, pricking at your skin each time it fought its way closer to realisation, but still you couldn’t figure out why you felt the way you did with Wanda.

For years the feeling had been asleep within you, unwoken and put to bed the day of college graduation when you caught sight of Wanda trying to approach you before you left the graduation ceremony. 

That was the last you ever saw of her before earlier this month. 

It was painful to recall the time you used to spend with her, but freeing, in a way. 

You remembered how idiotically in love you were with her at the time, how naive and new everything felt. It was torturous to recall how it all ended up, but… thinking about how she used to make you feel made you feel exhilarated and you wondered if what you were doing was some sort of sick form of masochism. 

All the music CDs burned for her to play when she was away from you, the letters to her written with a careful hand — all so childish that it was worthy of some form of envy. 

You questioned if you were envious of the childish-like view of the world that you had when you were in love with Wanda or if it was the love itself. 

Either way, it was an unreachable thing of the past. 

You grew up, and Wanda…. was Wanda. She always would be. 

Weeks before the actual breakup, things had begun to dwindle between you and your girlfriend. She took frequent rain checks on your plans together to be able to tend to the sorority as the end of the year was approaching and the group traditionally began recruiting for the next year before the summer. 

But at the same time, your theatre was finally putting on the show they’d spent all year putting together, months of hard work spent on funding and prop and costume design — everything from the casting to the lighting crew was created from scratch since the start of September. 

You understood, time and time again, that Wanda had her own priorities with her own friends and hobbies. She helped with some things where she could, and you loved when she did. 

Some late nights were spent designing costumes together because Wanda had always been interested in fashion, and oftentimes she helped with those designs while you worked on putting together props. 

She wasn’t a college student or a sorority girl when you spent those late evenings together — she was just Wanda. But sometimes you felt like even Wanda didn’t know who she was during those years, and that was hard to keep up with. 

In spite of missing your practices and flaking on days where she promised to read over your scripts or touch up on the costumes, Wanda vowed to make it for your play’s showing.

The only issue was that on the same day there was an initiation for the new recruits, and Wanda was required to attend as an upcoming alumni. 

It would end before your showing and although there’d be an afterparty to celebrate, she also promised that she’d go right to the theatre to watch once the initiation ended.

Anxiously, you stood by the edge of the stage behind the curtains with a clear view of the front doors as you waited for Wanda to arrive. She had a seat in the front row where you could see her from anywhere to the right of the stage behind the curtains so you could watch her reactions to her performers wearing her designs. 

Then a few anxious minutes turned into half an hour, and she still hadn’t come. 

By then you knew that the initiation was over because Wanda gave you a definite time it would be finished by, which was well before the start of the play.

You sent her a few texts, but by the second to last act, you knew she wasn’t coming and you stopped messaging.

Maybe it was unfair to place her attendance on the kind of pedestal you did, because it wasn’t any sort of objective truth how important it was that she came. 

It was a play you helped write while thinking of her, props you made sitting with her in the living room — just the two of you, hours upon hours painting and writing and designing all while trying to see the set through her eyes.

You imagined you knew her well enough to see from her shoes, anyways. 

A whole year’s effort for her. 

It wasn’t like you told her any of that; not even you knew how important Wanda had been to every single thing you did until you were broken up. 

When Wanda finally arrived, she burst through the theatre doors, heels in hand. She looked like she’d been running, as she was out of breath and a bit dazed as she looked around at the empty theatre.

And the soft flush of her cheeks and the mess of her hair.

She was drunk too.

You were packing up the last of the props into boxes on your own when Wanda stepped up to the stage and looked for someone. 

“Is… Did I miss it?” she asked, slowly catching her breath. 

“Guess,” was all you could manage to force out from the bitter feeling that squeezed the air out of your lungs.

She caught sight of the props you were putting away; some of them were things she could recall making with you. She remembered helping you hot glue some of them together and pick out the paint and cut up the little details. 

She felt terrible. 

“Y/N, I’m sorry,” she apologised. “I lost track of time. Really, I did. I didn’t mean to miss your play. I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t mean to, but you should’ve cared about it enough that coming to see something important to me wasn’t an extra effort to you.”

You closed the stage curtains and stepped down from the staircase leading out to the side where the door to the theatre was, and Wanda followed behind you. 

You placed the prop box down by the foot of the staircase. 

“I know you were busy, but I just thought you’d prioritise your own girlfriend over some stupid sorority,” you muttered. 

The anger was well-founded, yet the way you insulted Wanda’s interests wasn’t. But you were so upset and jealous and you felt so belittled.

Maybe she felt the same way too, because Wanda quickly countered, “You don’t have to make me feel bad about it. I just apologised. And besides, it’s not like you had anything that important going on here.”

Your face contorted and you turned to look at her. 

“What?” you asked.

Although seemingly hesitant for a moment, the drinks Wanda had earlier catapulted her emotions forward and in the moment, she’d say anything to get a reaction from you just to make herself feel better about what she did. 

“You wouldn’t know what it’s like to have something important happen to you, Y/N, because you always give me shit for pursuing the things I care about,” she argued. 

With a disbelieving scoff, you replied, “I ‘give you shit’ sometimes because I want you here with me. I wanted you here! And I’ve always understood when you had other things to do.”

“You would want that, because you have nothing going on without me anyways.”

Sensing criticism in her tone, you questioned, “What does that mean?”

“It means that you could never understand having real things matter to you, because all you have is this idiotic nerdy theatre shit and nothing else important, so you leech off of me to make yourself feel better for at least having someone who’s actually doing something with their lives close to you.”

Wanda didn’t know why she said that, and even in the moment she hated the taste of her words as she spat them out. But she said them, still. 

She loved how nerdy and creative and hardworking you were. She adored you so much — looked up to you. 

Hours she’d spent listening to you talk about how much you loved theatre and watching performances with you online. She loved the part of you that loved theatre and film and art; she thought it was endearing and adorable, and it made you the most creative and sensitive person she knew. 

The argument pressed on, both of you fueled by the insecurity of not being prioritised by the person you loved. Perhaps all either of you needed was to confess that you really did care about the other, for in your own ways, it felt to both of you that it had become lost somewhere along the line.

Wanda felt criticised and betrayed that you would look down on her, that you saw yourself as so different from her. The entire sorority paled in comparison to you, but the feeling that you thought you were truly that different from her, that someone else would be better for you instead, made Wanda say just about anything to get some sort of emotion out of you.

In a way you felt the same, constantly feeling that Wanda prioritised things more than she did you. You were patient and understanding with her and your love for her remained in the face of her distance, but where did that get you if she didn’t care about you anyway?

In the heat of the moment, someone accidentally nudged the prop box and made everything in it drop and clatter to the ground. 

The loud noise of broken props you and Wanda had spent countless nights working on together put an abrupt stop to the argument. 

There was a particular prop that tumbled out of the box and broke, a small chalice that took hours to design to make it as historically accurate as possible for the play, put together by an actual blacksmith that Wanda knew, and intricately decorated by the both of you afterwards over Indian takeout and the span of two movies. 

Wanda felt so terrible looking at it, and how its base was bent and its handle broken off. 

“I think I’m done,” you said suddenly and started getting your things from a small closet beside the exit. “I think we’re done.”

It took a few moments for Wanda to process your words, blinking in the face of watching you begin to pack up and leave her. Then she managed to utter, “What?”

“We should break up before the school year ends. Let’s stop pretending this is gonna work out, okay? Just focus on our own stuff while we can.”

Wanda scoffed out a nervous laugh and she approached you, stepping over the broken props. “Don’t be ridiculous. We’re not breaking up because of… of this. Y/N. Come on.”

“Why not?” you asked and zipped your jacket up. “Be honest with yourself and try to tell me that you see this working out any better than it already has been.”

If Wanda were more sober and less overwhelmed, she would’ve told you just that, because she loved you and she knew she could give you what you needed — what you deserved. 

She would gladly apologise for what she did and how she’d been treating you, and she’d be honest about how she’d been feeling too. 

And if you were thinking properly, not acting rashly, not too emotionally, you would’ve taken a step back and realised how much Wanda did love you.

Maybe you still would’ve wanted more of her — more of her attention, more of her affection — but you would’ve told her that too, and Wanda would’ve felt like the most important person in the world for being wanted so much by you. 

But none of that happened.

Instead, Wanda began pleading, “Please don’t leave me. Y/N… No one really likes me but you. You know that. No one knows me, really. You’re all I have.”

“You have your sorority,” you muttered and pulled your hat on.

Wanda started to cry then, almost immediately brought to tears by the suggestion that her sorority could mean anything to her like you do. 

Was she so terrible that she'd led you to believe that was even possible?

“I don’t care about them like that, and they don’t even really like me. They don’t like anyone,” Wanda insisted tearily. “But you like me. I know you do.”

She wrapped her fingers around your hand and tried to hold it. 

“Please don’t leave,” she begged. 

Recalling it now made you feel like the worst person in the world — truly. 

In spite of the situation and what happened, Wanda really had been trying. She was crying in front of you and begging you to see that your relationship was stronger than you thought it was, and that she cared about you more than you realised. 

And all you could do was be bitter and cold and look away from her, pull your hand away when she held it and turn your back to her weeping. 

What were you protecting back then?

Your ego? 

Back then you wondered if it was a worthy trade-off, and today while you drove back home from Wanda’s house, you wondered the same. 

In the morning you continued to think about Wanda, and for an inexplicable reason, even checked your phone for a message from her. 

It’d been a while since you did that. 

But you didn’t hear from Wanda until Monday when she picked the boys up from school, and by then you’d been thinking a lot about change and the breakup and if it was possible to be normal with each other again. 

“I wanted to… to apologise. For dinner on Saturday,” Wanda said to you the moment she stepped down from her car, walking up to you waiting by the front door of the school. She was bold about it, didn’t hesitate before apologising for something you weren’t sure needed apologising for. 

“What are you apologising for?” you asked curiously, looking between her and the children being picked up by their parents. 

You doubted that Wanda knew her husband tried to get your number, but you were almost sure that she at least knew about the infidelity. 

Had she really settled for someone like that?

Victor was who Wanda started going out with after you broke up, and it bewildered you that she was still with him. 

Didn’t she at least once think that she could do better?

She indeed knew about the infidelity — she’d known since college. But what was she meant to do about it? She’d begged him for normalcy and to upkeep appearances for Billy and Tommy, but she couldn’t beg for him to love her like a husband did his wife.

Nor could he.

Wanda spun her wedding ring around her finger anxiously. “I just felt that things might’ve been uncomfortable for you, and I would never want to make you feel that way. That wasn’t my intention at all.”

It felt like she was talking a lot faster than you could catch up with.

“I-I can get ahead of myself sometimes, and if I said anything to make you feel… uncomfortable, I’m sorry.”

The sight reminded you all too well of that evening in the theatre — Wanda’s nervous fidgeting and her apologetic tone, and most of all, the pleading to keep you close. 

It was different now, of course, because it was in a different context. But it was the same, really. 

It was always Wanda begging you to stay with her. 

“It’s… alright. You’ve done nothing to make me uncomfortable,” you reassured, and Wanda smiled. 

Then you scratched at the back of your neck and looked away awkwardly before saying, “Listen, it’s kind of stupid, but I have, um…” 

You hesitated to say it because of the subject matter, but Wanda was patient and so understanding as she regarded you with such kind eyes as she waited for you to continue. 

For the first time you noticed how a part of Wanda had aged — changed, even. She looked older in the way she looked at you, the innocent levity ever present but now wrapped in the years that have passed and the maturity that came with it.

Wanda reached out a little and brushed the pad of her thumb across your knuckles softly, reminding you that it was okay to say to her what you wanted. 

She did change — but not all of her. 

Though you’d been so adamant about wanting her to be different from college, you found that you really enjoyed knowing some parts of her were exactly the same.

The parts you loved. 

And the parts of her that were different you wanted to get to know too. 

You’ve seen how hard she was trying with you, and you were finally determined to do the same for her. 

“I have some play going on this weekend. I helped put it together with a few theatre friends from college,” you said finally. “So, if you wanna come, I can get some tickets for you and Victor.” 

Wanda’s interest was immediately piqued and she straightened, her eyebrows raising as her lips parted to accept the offer.

But you added hurriedly, “But you really don’t have to come if you don’t want to. I know it’s not really your thing.”

“N-No! I’d really love to go,” Wanda insisted with a reassuring nod. “Would it be alright if I just went on my own?”

Imagining Wanda going alone to one of your plays made the offer a lot more intimate than you initially planned it to be, and the ease at which she suggested it made your breath catch in your throat. 

Wanda took it as she was being too forward and she immediately began explaining, “It’s just that Victor gets impatient with those sorts of things and I wouldn’t want to have you waste a ticket.”

“Yeah, I get it. Totally,” you replied and cleared your throat. “Yeah, sure. Just you. I’ll text you an entry ticket and they’ll just scan the barcode on it before you go in.”

“Okay,” she said with a reaffirming nod and a wide smile. “So, this weekend? When, Saturday?”

You corrected, “Sunday. At eight.”

“I’ll save the date,” Wanda said, practically beaming. She couldn’t believe how lucky she’d gotten. 

Maybe she hadn’t been as unfortunate with her attempts as she felt she’d been.

Was it apologising for dinner that got her an invite to your play? Or did the twins win all your affection for her?

Or maybe you just blurted out the invitation without really thinking it through, and you regretted it the moment it came out of your mouth.

If that was the truth, Wanda would try her hardest to make sure you’d end up enjoying having invited her. She’d be what you deserved eight years ago, and she’d show you that she still could be what you deserved now.

After that, she wasn’t sure what would happen; expecting anything more than your forgiveness would be selfish. 

Almost every day until Sunday came, Wanda sorted through her closet and her jewellery box to put together an outfit for you. She’d be wearing it and it was ultimately up to her whether she wore it, but it was for you. 

As she picked out a cream knit sweater and a floor-length black skirt, she thought about how you’d like her outfit and also wondered what you might think of the perfume she chose too. 

When it was the evening of the play, Wanda put her hair back into a French twist — this she did with the intention of not seeming too much like how she looked in college, as never she wore her hair up in something so formal back then. 

Wanda laid the dolphin earrings in her palm and surveyed it as she wondered whether it would be okay to wear it tonight. She worried about making too big of a gesture where it wasn’t appropriate, but there was a chance you wouldn’t notice she was wearing them at all.

After several moments of deep consideration, she took off her pearl earrings and put on the ones with the small silver dolphins hanging from them. 

You swore you hadn’t been this nervous leading up to the play’s first performance until tonight. You’d worked on plenty since college and it wasn’t like this was anything like your first project since graduation. 

Why were you so nervous?

Your phone buzzed in your pocket and you took it out to silence your notifications until you read the text message.

It was Wanda, and she messaged: I got a spot in the front row! I’m excited!

When you stepped out from backstage and stood beside the edge of the curtains to be able to get a little glimpse into the crowd, you looked for her, eyes sorting through the front row of the audience. 

In the midst of the soft buzzing from the crowd’s chatter and an audience of nearly three-hundred people, you saw Wanda sitting in the front where she said she was. She wasn’t with Victor or the twins; she came alone like she said she would, even though you ended up sending her three extra tickets in case she changed her mind. 

The very sight of her made you ache, a thrumming longing beating at your sternum as you watched her look around at the theatre and adjust her skirt.

Quickly, before the performance started, you messaged back, I see you. You look great.

You wished so badly to have been able to see her face when she read the text, but you were pulled over to help with the lighting last minute. 

When the curtains finally opened, you checked your phone one more time and saw Wanda’s message: Thank you. :) 

The theatre lights dimmed and lights from the stage turned on and your position at the far-left of the curtains allowed you to see her much clearer — like you’d wanted to do years ago.

You paid little attention to what was going on during the performance, though you miraculously kept enough focus to be able to do things like help keep the performers on time with their costume changes. But mostly you were watching Wanda.

In a theatre full of hundreds of people, she was your only audience. 

During pauses in the script where the theatre was full of only silence, you could hear the pulsing of your heart and for a moment forgot it’d ever done anything but beat only while you watched how pretty Wanda looked in the pale light of the theatre’s stage.

When the play came to a finish and the curtains closed, the crew and performers gave their thanks to the audience before the theatre lights were turned back on and some of the crew and performers lined up by the door to thank people as they filed out of the theatre.

The line shorted gradually and the crowd of people made it so that you couldn’t spot Wanda, and though you’d completely understand if she already left — after all, she didn’t need to stay to do anything else — a part of you hoped she stuck around a little.

But not for any particular reason, for you didn’t even know what you’d say to her if she did; you just wanted to see her wait for you. 

“Hi,” a soft voice greeted, and you turned your head away from the theatre doors to the woman in front of you. 

Wanda.

The sight of her made you rather nervous, and you realised you’d been worrying a lot about whether she’d enjoy the play. 

Your only audience. 

It was her opinion you cared about the most.

With a smile that made her own widen at the sight, you replied, “Hi.”

“I really liked it,” she told you. “The performers were incredible.”

“I’m… I’m really happy you liked it,” you said, internally feeling pretty relieved. “Yeah, they’re super talented. We had to move around a few dates, actually, so they’d be able to perform for us.”

“And the script…” Wanda said, something brief and unsaid exchanged between the two of you as you looked at each other. But the question that was implied wasn’t answered when she added, “The script was wonderful too.”

Someone approached from behind and waited around Wanda to be able to talk with you, so she uttered, “I should leave. Thank you for inviting me. I really loved being able to watch.”

You nodded once and smiled cordially at her, but the sight of her turning and heading for the theatre doors reminded you all too well of something similar from years ago and you reached out suddenly and took her hand. She stopped and looked down at your hand wrapped around hers. 

Her fingers twitched before she looked up at you. 

“Stay,” you said and took a breath. “Until I’m done here.”

An unusual feeling began to grow within her as she ran her eyes over your face, seeing the hesitancy that seemed to make the corner of your mouth twitch as you anticipated her response and the look in your eyes that meant something she couldn’t interpret.

Her throat tightened and Wanda had to swallow to ease the tension there so she could reply to you.

“Okay,” she replied, hoping you didn’t hear the way her breath caught in her throat when your fingers tightened around her hand. “I’ll wait in the hall.”

Was she stuttering when she answered? She couldn’t tell.

She focused only on keeping her legs steady as she moved one foot in front of the other, her thumb rubbing at the heel of her hand as the feeling of your fingers running down her palm when you let go of her hand lingered even when the doors closed behind her.

Minutes felt like seconds in that hallway where Wanda waited for you. It felt like time simply ceased to exist there when her mind ran rampant with what it might’ve meant that you invited her to see your play and asked her to wait for you.

She wondered if things would’ve gone just like this if she had come to your play like she promised eight years ago.

The theatre lights turned off and you stepped into the hallway once the doors opened, exchanging a smile with Wanda who straightened from the adjacent wall and stepped towards you.

“Thanks for waiting,” you said gratefully. “Sorry for taking so long. There was a problem with the lighting again.”

“It’s totally okay. I didn’t wait long at all,” Wanda reassured. Then she said, “You’ve always been such a talented scriptwriter. I’m glad I got a front row seat to your play.”

Her words made you flush and the way she looked at you with such innocent and sincere optimism in her eyes that presently glistened with the dim light of the hallway made you stutter until you were finally able to thank her.

You cleared your throat and said, “You really do look great tonight, by the way. I mean, a lot better now because I can see you more clearly. Compared to before, like, behind a curtain.”

That made Wanda laugh and she nodded. “I get it. Thank you,” she replied. She was glad that you liked how she looked. She wore it all for you, after all.

Really, neither of you knew what you were expecting when you made time for each other alone. You didn’t know what you had wanted when you asked Wanda to stay, and she didn’t know what she’d been hoping to get out trying her hardest to be friendly with you again.

“Did you drive yourself here?” asked Wanda.

“No, I got a ride from one of my friends. He had to drop something off at his place, so he’ll come back to get me. His car couldn’t fit me in there with the set stuff.”

Immediately, Wanda offered, “I can drive you home. You don’t have to wait for your friend.”

“Really? You don’t have to. I don’t wanna bother you.”

“It’s not a bother at all. Tommy and Billy are out of town visiting Victor’s parents, so I don’t have to be home early to make them dinner or anything.”

Things seemed to be going well — really well. But you still weren’t sure what you wanted from all this. 

Maybe there wasn’t anything to want.

Maybe you and Wanda would just end up being casual friends who went out for lunch sometimes when she was free or went with her to her pilates classes when she could bring a friend. 

That was kind of amusing; you couldn’t ever imagine someone like her being a casual anything in your life.

Knowing Wanda would never be something casual.

“Would you mind if we stopped at my place before I drop you off? I have something I’d like to give you,” Wanda told you as she buckled her seatbelt then started the car.

With a piqued interest, you asked, “What kinda thing?”

“A surprise,” she teased and grinned at you. 

That made you feel all warm. It reminded you a lot of how you remembered her when you used to go out. She was such a tease back then.

Seeing her behave in some ways like how you remembered her but now dressed in expensive jewellery and clothes with shorter hair and a more mature face made her teasing even more endearing.

She talked a little about the twins and how their birthday party went, all the while you were watching how the streetlights casted on her face. Her face had become less round over the years and the pale lights from the street she drove down made the angle of her cheekbones cast a particularly sharp shadow along her face, making her face look sculpted, but by hand, like a Grecian statue.

Her nose was the same.

Her eyes crinkled at the sides when she smiled over at you after perhaps noticing you watching her. That was different from when you were together — the way she smiled — and you liked that a lot. So you didn’t care that she caught you. 

If you had looked away, you wouldn’t have seen how she looked when she smiled at you.

“Come in and wait in the den,” she told you when you arrived before leading you into the house. She set her purse down beside your things on the couch then started the fireplace. “I’ll just be a second. I have to get it for you upstairs.”

Somehow the room looked different now knowing it was only Wanda at home.

You looked at the picture you had been staring at the last time you were here, and even that looked different too. You’d noticed how Wanda was hugging you when you last saw the picture, but now you couldn’t stop looking away from her.

And how happy she looked with you.

Wanda came down from upstairs and you could see her holding something for the fireplace reflected off of what looked like metal.

When she stepped into the den, you could see she was holding some kind of prop.

It was the chalice the two of you worked on years ago that broke.

“Oh my god. You still have this?” you mused and carefully took it with both hands when she handed it to you.

Wanda’s cheeks flushed and she played with her wedding ring. “It’s all fixed up now,” she said. “I was really careful with it. You should take it.”

“No,” you immediately contested. “It isn’t right for me to take it from you after you’ve taken such good care of it.”

“It’s still yours. It was for your play. Please take it.”

You looked down at it, turning it carefully in your hands and reading in all the details of the prop the late nights you spent with Wanda making it as if the very metal and its details had words written on them. You wondered what she must’ve thought every time she saw it over the last eight years. 

It belonged to the both of you if anything.

When you set the chalice down by your things, Wanda quietly asked, “Y/N… Was tonight the play you wrote for me in college?”

You blinked and were taken by surprise. You started writing a script for Wanda so you could have it finished by the middle of February, but you ended up breaking up before her birthday, and you never had the chance to give it to her.

Initially when you first met Wanda again last month, you thought it was by complete coincidence that you had also just found the drafted script from years ago and had just decided to finally make it into a show.

But maybe you truly had been thinking of her a lot more over the years than you originally thought you did.

“How did you know that?” you asked.

She confessed, “I read a few pages of it back then.”

“When I…”

“When you told me not to,” she confirmed. “But I was curious, and… Well, that was the play, wasn’t it?”

You nodded, and she couldn’t help but giggle. 

“You wrote a play for me,” she said, teasing you. 

Without taking your eyes away from her for a second, you smiled and repeated, “I wrote a play for you.”

At first your sincerity made Wanda swoon and her teasing demeanour melted into a warm flattered mess before guilt overtook her at the sight of how you looked at her. 

You looked at her with so much admiration.

Wanda swallowed and quietly said, “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“You apologise a lot.”

“I know, but–” She cut herself off and seemed to be recollecting things internally before she began again. She struggled with maintaining eye contact but she tried anyway, and you wondered what was so important that she had to try this hard to communicate it. 

She said, “I should’ve gone to your play in college.”

You tried to interrupt her before she could apologise for something that happened so long ago, but she wouldn’t let you interject.

“It was important to you and I should’ve gone like I promised I would. I prioritised other stupid, meaningless things over you, and I’m sorry. I should’ve…”

She finally broke eye contact and looked down at the floor, pressing her fingers against her palm anxiously. 

You weren’t sure if you should try interrupting her again until the light from the fireplace reflected against the silver of her earrings. 

You reached out and laid the earring against the pad of your index finger so you could get a better look at it and Wanda looked up from the floor and ran her eyes over your face. 

“Dolphins,” you said.

It was then that Wanda realised the feeling that had been planted deep within her the second you took her hand in the theatre, then blossomed rapidly until this very moment. 

She was falling in love with you again. 

Her eyes moved over your shoulder to the photo of the two of you from years ago, framed and showcased right on the mantle where she could see it.

She recalled how her eyes always found their way over to the photo whenever she passed the fireplace, even when she hadn’t any idea if she’d ever see you again. 

The box stored in her closet of all the things that reminded her of you from when the two of you were dating years ago came to mind too. 

She wasn’t falling in love with you again — no. 

Wanda had always been in love with you. 

“I bought them to wear for you,” she confessed, stepping closer to you so your knuckle accidentally ghosted against her cheek. 

Your eyes left the earrings to meet hers. “They’re pretty,” you said. 

“If only I’d have kept my promise,” Wanda whispered, “things would’ve been different.”

You ached as you realised how much guilt must’ve been on her shoulders the last eight years, how quick and easy it was for her to blame herself for what happened. 

“Wanda, our breakup wasn’t your fault,” you told her. “I made mistakes too.”

She immediately shook her head and looked away from you.

“No, you didn’t.”

You insisted, “Yes.”

“It was my fault that–”

You had to cup Wanda’s cheek with your hand to make her look at you again and stop talking. She shut her mouth and looked at you, and that was when you sternly said, “It was my fault too.”

She began to tear up and you carefully swiped the tears from her eyes with your thumbs. 

“I don’t care how things would’ve been,” you said. “All I care about is what it is now — what we are now.”

Wanda took in a shaky breath and quietly asked, “What are we now…?”

Your eyes fell to her lips and Wanda was too distracted by how you looked and how good you smelled and how warm your hand was on your cheek to notice you were leaning in for a kiss until your lips were pressed against hers.

She’d forgotten how good those could feel.

But she never forgot how yours felt.

Her arms raised and she wrapped them around your neck so you couldn’t back up from her too far when you parted from the kiss. 

“I could… I could do right by you this time,” Wanda found herself promising the moment you pulled away enough so she could look into your eyes. 

What was she saying?

“I could treat you right this time around too,” you vowed.

What on earth were either of you saying?

“Is that okay?” you whispered. 

Wanda didn’t wait a moment before replying, “That’s okay. That’s… really, really okay.”

She leaned in and kissed you again, feeling you smiling against her own grinning lips.

──────── ⋆⋅✧⋅⋆ ────────

Until she filed for divorce from her husband, all Wanda Maximoff has known how to do is compromise, because until then, she never imagined a future wherein she could be any more than someone who lived in her husband’s shadows and never pursued the things she loved.

That night of your play changed so much for her.

It was painful to have to say goodnight to you and eventually have to drive you back home for her husband would eventually come back later that evening, but all Wanda could think about when she was in bed was how much things could change.

She thought about the kinds of futures she could have with you and the twins, the kinds of lives you could lead and the things she could do with herself.

But there was one thing she had to do before she could have any of that, and she wasn’t willing to wait and sit still anymore; when she turned to look at Victor sleeping beside her, Wanda knew she had to file for divorce. 

It wasn’t that the filing was so uncalled for at all, and it was easy to build a case against him.

The infidelity on Victor’s part and arguments that they sometimes failed to keep quiet from Tommy and Billy and dozens of other issues had built up to the point where Wanda’s lawyer confessed to her upfront that she was surprised she hadn’t filed for divorce much earlier.

They were trying to keep it as delicate as possible for the twins were still young, and in spite of their differences, neither their mother nor their father wanted to subject them to the complications that parents went through during a divorce.

Wanda rented her own apartment large and comfortable enough for both her and the twins, and you when you stayed over. 

You slept in Wanda’s bedroom, naturally. Though it still made you giddy recalling the mornings and nights you spent together in the same bed, in the same apartment.

Despite the relatively smooth move, Victor was still a very rich and power-hungry man, and he hadn’t been making the divorce process easy for Wanda. Oftentimes she was tired and drained, but also so impassioned.

It’d been a long time since she stood up for herself and what she wanted, and really, it was also first time she’d ever stood up to him.

“He wants to have them five days a week, each week,” Wanda told you presently, scoffing.

You leaned against the table and watched her as she worked. 

“What’s his lawyer saying?”

“I don’t care what that asshole is saying. I’m not compromising, Y/N,” she said sternly. “I’m not settling for two fucking days a week with my children.”

Rounding the table, you wrapped an arm around her shoulder and hugged her against you. “That’s my girl. That’s good,” you praised and shook her around a little, making her stifle a laugh as she looked up and smiled at you. 

You kissed her temple and told her, “It’ll work out, Wands. Be strong.”

“Is everyone ready for the picture?” a voice called from the front of the stage.

It was the start of a new season at the theatre and it was tradition for your company to take a photo of all of the crew during the very early days of production development.

“Oh, hurry, hurry!” you hissed and took the pencil out of your girlfriend's hand.

Wanda tried to protest, “Y/N–”

“Finish the costume design later. Come on. Come on, come on, let’s go!”

You took her hand and pulled her to the stage where the rest of the crew was getting together for the photo, the camerawoman standing by the edge with her camera ready.

Your arm wrapped around Wanda’s hips and she wrapped both of hers around your shoulders, squeezing each other tight and smiling widely together as the photo of the entire production crew was taken.

You asked, “Wanna see it?”

“Very much,” she replied.

You rounded the camera together and Darcy approached Wanda.

“Wanda. Hey,” she greeted.

“Hi,” replied Wanda with a smile and she turned to face the young woman.

“When you write the article for the newsletter, could you mention that we’re looking for backup dancers?” she asked. “There’s, like, several big musical numbers in this one and we were pretty understaffed for the last show.”

You frowned and looked over at her. “Okay, not ‘pretty understaffed,’” you corrected. “Moderately understaffed.”

While ignoring your lighthearted offence because you’d been the primary one in charge of performer recruitment for the last play, Wanda answered with a reassuring smile, “I’ll add it.”

“Thank you,” Darcy said with a relieved exhale.

When you turned around to look at the camera for the photo, Darcy mouthed at Wanda before leaving for backstage again, ‘Very understaffed.’

“Wanda, this is gonna look really great on the mantle,” you told her, turning the camera around so she could see the picture. 

“Framed and right under the television in the living room,” she affirmed.

Wanda still had the picture of the two of you with her sorority, though now it was stored away in the box with all her other keepsakes from you.

It was always a symbol of the past, a reminder to her of a love she couldn’t ever get back. But now that things were different, Wanda didn’t need to think about anything but her future wherein you and the twins were always in it, no matter how many different lives she imagined for herself.

So there was a new framed picture put up where everyone in her apartment living room could see it — a photo of the theatre crew and you and Wanda right in the middle in the front row, smiling widely in each other’s arms with her cheek pressed against yours.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - I'm sorry but The Sign just WINS

Organized, in each category, by ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Dec 2023 Wk 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

The Sign (Sat YT) ep 5 of 10 - Fun fun fun. I feel sorry for Yai dealing with these two doomed lovers fated mate drama queens. He got a queen of his own to look after, cut the poor boy some slack.

Meanwhile, if evil... why so shirtless?

Hold on peeps, gotta rip my shirt off in a v stripper way, might get blood on it. Not that I’m complaining. Also, a strap? Man after my own heart. 

Awe. Baby boy has magic sparkle punch!! Yay! 

Meanwhile Phaya is my current fav himbo. These two are beyond pretty together. I love the stark contrast in their fantasies about each other. Phaya's is a way more romantic. Normally I don’t like a white towel sponge bath, but that was the most effective one ever deployed by any BL plot since Love Sick. Well done writer's room. This show is FANTASTIC.

Last Twilight (Fri YT) ep 7 of 12 - I say this every week but I truly love this show. Another pair of great communicators, I love that BL is giving us this right now (rather than the usual run of plot driven by willful miscommunication). I’m sad D was mean to M but I see where they’re coming from (for the purpose of story & plot). And the boys did a great job. Jimmy’s so lovely in this role.

But seriously people: Where did those old shoes come from in the middle of a marathon?

Random park shoes! 

For Him (Thurs iQIYI) ep 4 of 10 - One of the most endearing things about these two is what good communicators they are. The sides are kinda cute: puppy+cat hyung romance. Love that for them (and me).

Twins the series (Fri GaGa) ep 8 of 10 - Sprite & First are so crush confession confused first-time tentative adorable. First got himself such a sweet troubled little puppy. What’s gonna happen when he finds out the big lie? 

Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 6 of 14 - Jeff and Alan are best boys, i see a glimmer of hope for Way. Omegaverse mpreg possibility confirmed. Trash watch happening here.

Cooking Crush (Sun YT) ep 4 of 12 - I finally figured out that it’s the alternating voiceovers that bother me with this show. It gives it a Japanese manga feel, but I’m not wild about that in my Thai BL. Doc being jelly was fun, tho. Tiny confessions and secret smiles do make me happy. It’s sweet. I’m liking it better this week. 

Bake Me Please (Mon Gaga) ep 5 of 6 - The conflict seems very manufactured. Okay, yes that's normal in BL, but you know what I mean... more than normal. Honestly? I’m on Guy’s side. Screw Shin, and not in a good way. 

Middleman’s Love (Fri YT & iQIYI ep 7 of 8 - I really don’t like it that Jade has to be cruel to Mai. And Mai cruel back. ButJade is sweet when he’s a calm and smiley and shy. Boyfriend ep next week  

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) Pisces of Me ep 18 of 24 - I just found this one extremely boring, I didn’t really enjoy any of the characters. And I think it might be incest? Ugh. 4/10

Night Dream (Sat YT) ep 2 of 6 - It’s a pain to track down and I really didn’t like the first episode so… DNF  

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

VIP Only (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 6 of 10 - It’s slow and sweet and fine but not great. Lovely little kitchen back hug. Not sure about the boy from the past. The mom character gave me serious PTSD. 

Sahara-sensei to Toki-kun (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 4 of 8 - No ep this week for JBL reasons. 

It's Airing But...

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 14 eps - Dear Playboyy, it's not you, it’s me… I hate you. You’re about as deep (and as palatable) as a shot glass of cum. While I'm sure you’re someone’s kink, you're my weakest link. I DNFed this at ep 5, and frnakly I'm impressed with myself for getting that far.

The Whisperer (Sun ????) 10 eps - Thai horror BL that ALSO involves cheating (what joy is mine). I don't think even the perfect single dimple can motivate me to watch. Word is... it's terrible.

7 Days Before Valentine (Weds WeTV) 10 eps - Giving me Luminous Solution vibes. I'm waiting to binge if safe.

Beyond The Star (Weds iQIYI) 8 eps - House of Stars meets Boyband. I was NOT impressed with ep 1. Been told I shouldn't bother.

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - I find this series more fun to binge, so I'll be doing that when I have a spare day. Crazy work load right now so no idea when that will be. (End of year is a bear for me.)

Behind the Shadows (Korea movie) - This is a historical I was interested in, but I've been told they kill the gay so I'm OUT.

Dead Friend Forever (Thai Sat iQIYI) - horror, meh, tell me if it's worth my time?

IT'S NO LONGER AIRING INTERNATIONAL

Cherry Magic (Sat YouTube) ep 3 of 12 - yeah Japan put the smack down on our boys. Sadness. You can use a VPN if you like.

Next Week Looks Like This

I Became the Main Pole of a BL (Japan Gaga) ep 1 of 3 - AKA BL Drama no Shuen ni Narimashita: Crank Up Hen starts tomorrow.

Original 2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED). With the end of the year upon us I'll do an "announced for 2023 but never happened list" soon.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

I think this EVERY SINGLE TIME someone blows on a wound in an Asian drama.

Only Billy has the guts to give us an O face from a cuddle. (The Sign)

I do love it when a show calls out a trope. (Cooking Crush)

 A/b/o and sometimes e! The scene that broke tumblr. (Pit Babe)

(Last week)

[ohanny]

another friday, another cutie pie episode! so here are my thoughts while watching the second episode:

kuea is absolutely not me because i would never check my email first thing in the morning, notifs be damned

also even if i did get good news, i would not have the energy to throw a full "blackpink in your area" on top of my bed

kuea: oh yes, i am a bit... sore lian: ¬‿¬

ugh, why can't you just talk to this man who just happens to be a supportive, relatively mentally stable, functioning adult who dresses nice, cooks you food, pulls out your chair and YOU ACT LIKE THE RETURNING HIDE AND SEEK CHAMPION OF 2022

lian: if you need help, you can always tell me me: IF ONLY

nonetheless, i've had a boyfriend for a decade and i feel as single as the last crushed pringle at the bottom of the tube of doom when zee looks at nunew

kuea, a lying liar who lies: kon diao texted me lian: i love you me: KUEA DO YOU FEEL EVEN A LIL BAD???

i love the mission impossible theme tune

nong diao squared ready to cover up crimes

yi can smell bullshit a mile away but unfortunately for him, he's also a weak victorian bitch who gets flustered by a cheek touch from a twink he (alledgedly) fucked in his car just last week

JUST SHOW ME PERTH YOU COWARDS chapter 2

diao is a good friend with a good brain cell. we all need a diao.

kuea: i have a lot to think about. me: you also have a lo to TALK about goddammit

meanwhile poor lian is just trying to plan his barbie dream wedding, oh dear

yi is here to be the best man but also to watch the world burn.

kon diao loves lists. kon diao is me.

the world does not deserve diao. this show certainly doesnt. if he was running it, again, it would be 5 minutes long. well, maybe 15. he would keep all the spicy bits.

this beauty clinic is totally not the sponsor of this series.

the totally not sponsoring intensifies

"how do i look?" EXACTLY THE SAME AS YOU DID 30 SECONDS AGO YOU BABY SKINNED MOCHI OF PERFECTION

i will never not mishear this as "cosmic-exo entertainment" and i am not sorry

uh-oh, their barbie dream weddings are NOT the same

lsakjfkasljfafj a nuer x syn intermission! and nuer has a less questionable shirt on!

you two (ಥ﹏ಥ)

but props to syn never hiding his intentions and props to nuer respecting his choices even if they make him a sad boy. SOME PEOPLE could never

hia yi is eternal suffering personified even at a cake tasting and quickly becoming my favourite.

foei: oh is it too crowded? do we need more room? the gays: *offended*

salaldkjf i am catching vibes. pls tell me they will grey's anatomy this and diao and yi will end up getting married in the barbie dream wedding horror show while kuea and lian elope in korea

"you can make the final decision" says lian, not having any idea they like the polar opposite things.

he is a smooth bastard though. "ah yes, my favourite wedding singer will be too busy being my husband"

"oh no, how will our suits match if we cannot see them?" you dumbo, you have kon diao, the wedding planner extraordinaire. he has a list for that.

diao has been calling out bullshit since birth at this point.

yi: ah yes, they are so compatible. diao: dude, they can't agree on anything. yi: which is not my problem.

yi really be like "pfffft, let them talk it out between them" as if we have time to be here for the next ten years. he really couldn't give less fucks, lol

DIAO LEGIT IS LIKE IZZIE PLANNING MERDER'S WEDDING

how can he answer cosmic-exo in that suit. go change.

oh, the straights are at it again

lian: thank you yi: oh, you already picked a suit? lian: yes yi: wow, i am so helpful. you are blessed to have me tolerate you.

i love how nunew's voice gets so much deeper when he switches to english

IF ONLY YOU WERE THAT EXCITED ABOUT YOUR OWN WEDDING

kuea: what should i do? me screaming at my tv: TALK TO YOUR MAN

diao is seriously like baby yoda and syn doesn't need to become a monk. he just needs to hang out with diao more for some deep wisdom and then keep living in sin.

nuer is a sweet understanding angel and syn is a pouty baby and i could watch these two forever

"it's our wedding, not just mine." except you have NO IDEA you're not getting your wedding but an industrial scale keerati legacy production

yi: see? they're totally on the same page diao: ...

who is this random laxatives lady and why does she look like she's about to place a curse on kuea?

lian: you pick kuea: i am fine with everything narrator: he was not, in fact, fine with anything

diao turn of the tap for fucks sake, it is very obvious you are not paying your own bills in this economy

diao: my dog is so smart yi: your dog is literally an idiot

oh god here we have hia yi talk about marriage and kasdjflkafj they might kiss and i can't believe i am about to say this but at this point diao needs to worry about me cooking that cockblocking dog :D

WE HAVE A STAIRCASE WITH A HAND RAIL? IN A BL?!?!?!

lian: *trying* kuea: cosmic-exo is calling, byeee

look at his sad eyes, he KNOWS

"why am i talking to a doll?" BECAUSE IT IS MORE LIKELY TO HAVE AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION WITH YOU. you deserve better, boo.

lian: aren't you kirin already kuea: but i could be cosmic-exo kirin in korea. lian: okay. kuea: ... wait what?

OH FUCK SCREW THE WEDDING WAS THAT PERTH I JUST SAW?!?!?!?

[10nantscompanion]

I did it myself!!

this is my first fanfiction after a really REALLY long time and my first ever fanfiction on tumblr i think!

It's just a short little self indulgent one shot, hope you like it!!

Surprise gone wrong?

pair: established relationship; idol!seonghwa x gn!reader

in which: you're not a dancer but you wanna learn a choreo to surprise him

trigger warning: none? just tooth rotting fluff. this the definition of self indulgence. slightly suggestive at the end i guess

word count: 1.3k

gotta work gotta make that money make purse 

The song is blasting from the speakers in your and Seonghwa’s shared living room as you attempt to follow and memorize all the steps to your boyfriend’s band’s new song. 

You were not a dancer. Not to any capacity. at all.  

All the choreos you ever managed to learn have been through some very thorough step-by-step youtube tutorials, a lot of patience and determination and straight up skipping some of the foot work cause let’s be honest your calves were not made for these kind of intricate and precise movements. 

Much to your dismay there still aren’t any step-by-step tutorials for work even after 2 months of the album having been released. No Atiny had the mercy to upload a tutorial for poor you. Sure you could simply ask your boyfriend to teach the choreo to you and he would probably be more than happy to help. However, you wanted to surprise him by learning it yourself.

Anytime you give any of his interests a shot he is over the moon. Seonghwa loves it when you build legos with him or building one yourself, sitting on his lap wrapped up in his embrace. He loves listening to you sing, watching you play animal crossing and words can’t describe the kind of huge smile that decorates his face whenever you suggest a Star Wars marathon,  resulting in him rambling on about all the little fun facts and backround knowldge he has gathered over all the years of him being a star wars fan (he already told all of it to you a million times and you’ll be happy to listen to it all again another million, billion or trillion times).

On the rare occasions he is given the honour of seeing you dance he swears he could just straight up die on the spot from the amount of joy it brings him to watch your body move with the music. You rarely ever dare to even try dancing, being embarrassed of the fact that your movements don't look nearly as fluent let alone as cool as his did. But the work choreo doesn’t look all that hard and seems rather fun so it sparked your interest. 

So here you are, alone in your shared apartment, attempting to copy your boyfriend's flawless moves. The way his legs just move so effortlessly like it's nothing is so incredibly impressive to you. Meanwhile you can slowly feel the frustration seep in after the umpteenth time of you trying and failing at the second “got a fur coat so I'll make it purr” part. 

“UGH I KNOW WHAT I NEED TO DO WITH MY LEGS AND ARMS WHY WON’T MY BODY JUST LISTEN TO ME AND DO IT???” you tiredly exclaim. I guess it’s time for a little snack and tiktok break you think to yourself, making yourself a quick little sandwich and slumping down on the couch to mindlessly scroll through your for you page. 

Your quick little break quickly turns into an hour of doom scrolling and you only notice how much time has passed by when you look out of the window to notice the sky already dimming. 

Lucky for you Seonghwa wouldn’t be home until late that day, so you still have quite some time to try and... at least semi-perfect the moves. 

This time around you are a lot more focused than before resulting in you not noticing Seonghwa coming home early. His little “I’m home baby” and the jingling of his keys is completely drowned out by the music. When he isn't greeted with a hug as per usual and instead hears his song playing from the living room accompanied by what sounds like footsteps, his curiosity leads him to follow the sounds and peak through the door. 

Leaning against the door frame he observes you for a few minutes. His eyes sparkling as he watches your body move to the music, completely entranced by the way your hips sway sassily in the second “gotta make that money make purse” part. Which happens to be the part right before the bit you just can’t seem to manage to get right. Noticing your face drop and you letting out a sigh Seonghwa quickly hurries over to you pressing his front against your back. You jump a little not expecting your boyfriend home so early, but quickly giving into him leaning against him. Seonghwa’s hands slowly make their way up your sides before wrapping his arms around your middle “You’re home already!” you note with a smile. Seonghwa hums. “We finished early today cause we got the recording done a lot quicker than anticipated” he states proudly “You did really well with the choreo btw angel! Why didn’t you ask me to teach it to you?” You can feel your face slightly heat up in embarrassment at the realization that Seonghwa has been watching you. “How long have you been here???” “Long enough to see my baby dance” Seonghwa smiles and presses a kiss to your temple. “Come on let me help you” he says loosening his grip around your torso and instead slowly tracing your arms until he finds your hands, entangling his fingers with yours.

"gotta work” he starts while guiding your body with his and moving your arms according to the choreo. “gotta make that money make purse” you continue. Seonghwa feels like his heart is about to burst from how full it feels. Being able to listen to your singing and having the chance to dance with you?? He’s such a lucky guy!!

When you get to the part you struggle with the most Seonghwa moves in front of you explaining everything in the most comprehensible way possible. After a few more tries you finally get it right resulting in you jumping and clapping in joy. “Good job baby” he praises and you blush a little. “Come on let’s do it together one more time” he says. “Wait” you say, quickly getting your phone and positioning it to record yourself and your boyfriend. “oh? Feeling confident are we?” Seonghwa raises an eyebrow playfully “Of course! I learned from the best!!” you giggle and press record.

After finishing the chorus Seonghwa immediately starts clapping and moving closer to you. “Good job baby! I’m so proud of you” Seonghwa exclaims pressing his forehead against yours and wrapping his arms around you. “My angel. I love you so so so so much. So much I can’t even put it into words” he whispers before pressing his soft lips against yours. Your eyes flutter shut and your hands find his jaw, gently cupping his face, allowing yourself to completely lose yourself in his kiss, completely giving yourself over to Seonghwa “I love you, too. More than anything in the world” you tell him between kisses. Kisses that started off innocent, but as soon as Seonghwa puts his tongue to use grow heated and more desperate. You start tugging on his dark locks making him moan while his tongue explores your mouth. Seonghwa moves impossibly closer to you forcing you to take a few steps backwards until your legs hit the couch and you gently drop down on it. Seonghwa wastes no time crawling on top of you nibbling on your neck making you whine. 

“I think the next thing i should teach you is how to slow it down and make it bouncy” Seonghwa says with a wink and a shit eating grin on his face. “How long have you been waiting for an opportunity to say this” you ask punching his shoulder playfully. “a while” he responds before going back to working on your neck, making beautiful red roses bloom underneath your skin marking you for the world to see. The phone that was recording you long forgotten and probably ran out of battery long before your boyfriend was done worshipping your body. 

can someone write a one shot where y/n can't really dance well but she's trying really hard to learn the work choreo

and then she gets a 1:1 dance lesson from seonghwa where he's really patient and explains everything really well

(cause I'm absolutely not struggling and failing at the dance choreo rn hahaha no absolutly not couldn't be me hahahaha)

you can make it 100% fluff or you can make it a little suggestive even smutty idc

I just want seonghwa to give me a dance lesson thank you

[knickynoo]

hello there!! i’m currently hyperfixating on bttf, so reading your thoughts/headcanons about it has been giving me so much joy and i really appreciate your blog a lot. :)

this might be a strange question and i apologise if you’ve been asked something similar before, but what are your headcanons about marty and doc’s respective relationships with sleep? i doubt that either of them ever get a full eight hours, somehow.

Hi!! Thank youuu; I'm glad you enjoy my blog! No need for an apology. I love getting asks like this about topics I've never really thought about before. This is a fun one. Let me dig through my brain for some headcanons.

DOC!

- My immediate thought when it comes to Doc is: Sleep? Never heard of it. As a man of science, Doc understands the value and importance of sleep, he just doesn't care to actually get any himself. There's just too much to do! So many projects to work on and thoughts in his head. Even if he is tired and attempts to rest, he usually just ends up spending the time doing mental planning and calculations. Some of his best ideas come when he's on the brink of sleep, and he has to then grab a notepad and pencil and jot it all down before he forgets.

- A lot of the time, his poor sleep hygiene is because he simply forgets to go to sleep. He gets so completely absorbed in whatever current super interesting thing he's working on, that everything else around him becomes a void. He has no awareness of any other goings on. Forgets to eat, forgets to go to bed, etc. Then suddenly, something breaks his concentration and he looks up and night has turned back to day, and he's like, "Whoops."

- Whatever semblance of a sleep schedule he does have is largely due to his current dog at the time. Being aware of their needs (when they need to eat, go out, and such) helps to kind of prompt him to be more aware of his own. Not that he always listens, though, lol. It isn't uncommon for him to walk over to Einie in his little dog bed, give him a pat on the head, and go, "Goodnight, Einie. Sweet dreams." *notes that it's like 2am* "Well, back to work!"

- Oh, and getting married changes things a little, as well. Clara is very adamant that he not run himself ragged doing work and forces him to go to bed at a reasonable time. Doc complies, but does so reluctantly. His ability to run on only a handful of hours of sleep comes in handy, though, when Jules and Verne are babies. Clara doesn't argue with him at all when he's the first one out of bed to tend to one of their crying children in the dead of night.

MARTY!

- It's strange, because when you take into account Marty's overall personality, most signs point to him probably never sleeping either. But oddly enough, I don't headcanon that as being the case. In fact, I think Marty is all Go, Go, Go!! except for when it comes to sleep.

- I mean. Look at the way he sleeps? That's somebody who is a deep sleeper. A kid who just passes out and is dead to the world for a solid 8+ hours. Marty flies through his day at full speed--just a flailing, fidgety, impulsive, blur of a boy--and then he falls into bed and is out immediately.

- This is largely the reason why he so often ends up sleeping in his day clothes. There's just such a short window of time where he's capable of actually changing into pajamas. Like, he goes into his room with every intention of putting on pj's, but then he makes the mistake of sitting on his bed for four seconds and, oops, too late, he's asleep already.

- Marty's default response to situations where there isn't anything interesting or exciting going on is just to go to sleep. He's bored in school? Sleep. Gets detention for falling asleep in class? Sleep. He's on a long car ride, confined to his seat and with nothing to do? Sleep. He also sleeps in response to stress. "Ugh, I've got this huge test tomorrow, and I haven't studied a single thing; I'm doomed. Guess I'll take a nap."

- His friendship with Doc also allows him to develop the unique ability to sleep in an environment filled with the sounds of drills and hammering and the occasional small explosion. Nothing fazes him. He's curled up having pleasant dreams in his little cot while Doc is running around the lab, screaming frantically about the fire that's started by his workstation.

In conclusion: Doc is constantly sleep-deprived but doesn't even feel it, and Marty is actually very well-rested all the time, which is a good thing, because imagine how much more frazzled and uncoordinated he would be if he was always tired.

Thanks for the ask!

[copias-girl]

The bad part about TCAC is that it ENDS, and I will suffer waiting for the next chapter... aaaah it hurts 😩😩

The story is getting better and sexier after every single chapter, and this one specifically was sooooo good. The Satanic Mass was just 💋👌 CHEF'S KISS. My poor little pitiful ratman, he was never touched before.... by the way, I'm pretty excited to see a little about his past, if you will. My headcanon is that he had a sad and lonely childhood, for 3 reasons: his mismatched eyes, the fact that he didn't know his dad and because his mom was a single satanist woman, considered to be filthy, worthless and a sinner. Imagine being a single mom, satanist and much probably feminist in the 1960-1970s decade? Sister Imperator surely suffered a LOT (not counting Nihil's cheating) and so did her child. I think she was his only friend, Copia is mama's boy forever (yeah i think he knows she is his mother unlike the fandom usually theorizes, but he surelly doesnt know Nihil is his father). This is why he grew up so shy and used to be bullied and mistreated, even among his own people (satanists).

Look at that pretty shy boy. He is afraid of even looking to the reader, imagine when she finally decides to eat her prey? Kissing him in front of everyone? Finally fucking and giving him the most pleasurable love? Ooh he definitely will pass out, at least metaphorically. Imagine, after a great and satisfying fuck, Copia looking down at the sister while she sleeps with her head on his chest and hugging his body?? Imagine she kissing his squishy belly full of rigatoni and body-worshipping him to give him courage! OMFG this is killing me 😩😩

Anyway. I absolutely love your writing, guestie!! ❤️❤️

Awww!! That’s so sweet of you to say!! ♥︎ I’m gonna be dialling up the heat in the next chapters so I can’t wait to post that for you all! 😈🔥

And I’m happy you liked the mass chapter, it was so fun to write!! I’m enjoying writing all the little parts about daily life at the ministry! It really immerses me into the story and I hope it does the same for all my wonderful readers too!

But yes I do headcanon Copia to have been kind of a lonely child. He was raised alongside the other Emeritus brothers, but obviously he’s years younger than Terzo and Secondo so maybe they didn’t play together very much. And obviously Primo is way older than all of them. And yes I do think that if he was going out in the regular world, his mismatched eyes and gentle demeanour would have made him the target for some mean comments 🥺 ugh my poor baby, this is making my heart hurt 🖤

Personally I headcanon that he doesn’t know Sister Imperator is his mother, just because in the chapters she stops herself from saying it (in the doom call chapter) and also in the homecoming chapter she says she can’t call him Papa, and when she asks if he knows why he just says because of Nihil. And obviously Sister Imperator cares for him and is always in his corner, but Copia just thinking he’s an orphan makes him even more lonely and lovable 🥺

But omg YES Ghestie I am so excited to write that part!! If he can’t even handle reader in these chapters, imagine when she goes full force and is begging for his cock like?? Poor sweet rat man is gonna be going into cardiac arrest. And you KNOW reader is a lil exhibitionist sooooo yeah she’s definitely gonna be up for some public shenanigans 👀👀 AND YES HIS RIGATONI FILLED BELLY OMFG I LOVE IT SO SO MUCH LIKE- imagine him being kinda self conscious about his body and reader just worships the FUCK out of him 🤤🤤🤤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

[gabykatttt]

The Dazzlings vs Velvet and Veneer

Pt 13

Hang on tight Gristly Bridget said putting the motorcycle on speed.

Bridget what are you doing? Gristle said.

This is it girls we can do this Adagio said.

Right behind you Dagi Sonata said.

Whatever Aria said rolling her eyes.

Velvet 🎶🎤

If the top is where you wanna stay

You gotta work hard

To make it look it easy

You gotta live fast

To keep makin' that money

If you want to be as famous as me

You gotta work, you gotta work, you gotta work

You gotta work hard

You gotta live fast

If you want to be as famous as me

You gotta work, you gotta work, you gotta work

Come on girls Adagio said.

Sonata and Aria agreed as they tackled Velvet.

Ow Velvet said pushing Sonata and Aria off.

You guys alright? Branch asked going to his brothers.

Yes but we’re not done yet John said.

Let’s bro Bruce said.

Velvet 🎶🎤

I'm gonna live forever

Learn how to fly yeah

Ugh get off me Velvet said pushing of the Dazzlings.

Ahhhh the girls screamed as they landed on the floor.

Velvet 🎶🎤

if the top is where you wanna stay yeah

baby, remember my name

Dammit she beat us Sonata said.

Great she’s going to kill those poor little things Adagio said letting out a growl.

Not if I do something about it Aria said getting on the stage.

Alright you guys want an encore Velvet asked the crowd.

The crowd cheered for yes as Velvet press the button on her shoulder pad making her sing again.

Floyd would never make it he’s got nothing left Bruce said.

Great he’s doomed Alvin said crossing his arm.

Theodore and Brittany just stared.

Guys Poppy said earlier we don’t have to be perfect harmony we just need to be ourselves Branch said.

We’ll follow your lead Branch John said.

Here I go Velvet said about to sing but Aria interrupts.

Hey get off the stage Velvet said trying to push off Aria.

No it’s for me to shine spoiled brat Aria said grabbing the microphone.

Aria was about sing until Adagio,Sonata and Veneer joined in.

What the hell you guys Aria said rolling her eyes.

What we can sing too Sonata said.

You got a problem with us performing with you? Adagio asked.

I wanna help you girls Veneer said.

Ugh fine but I’m taking the lead here Aria said.

Adagio,Sonata and Veneer nodded as they grabbed their microphones.

Velvet just watched as the song started playing.

Sonata 🎶🎤

My mamma told me when I was young.We're all born superstars

Really Sonata Aria said.

Yes now shut up and sing the damn song without you complaining Sonata said rolling her eyes.

Ugh fine Aria replied sticking her tongue out.

The Dazzlings 🎶🎤

She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on

Sonata 🎶🎤

In the glass of her boudoir Adagio and Aria🎶🎤 (ha ha ha ha)

There's nothing wrong with loving Adagio and Aria 🎶🎤(ha) who you are

She said

The Dazzlings 🎶🎤

'Cause He made you perfectly (ha ha ha ha)

Sonata,Aria (Adagio) 🎶🎤

So hold your head up girl and you'll go far

Listen to me when I say

I'm beautiful in my way (hey)

'Cause God makes no mistakes

I'm on the right track, baby

I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret

Just love yourself and you're set

I'm on the right track, baby

I was born this way

Sonata 🎶🎤

Yeah

Adagio and Aria 🎶🎤

Ooo there ain't no other way

Baby I was born this way

Baby I was born this way

Ooo there ain't no other way

Baby I was born this way

Right track baby

I was born this way

Born this way hey

I was born this way hey

I'm on the right track baby

I was born this way hey

I was born this way hey

I was born this way hey

I'm on the right track baby

I was born this way hey

Veneer 🎶🎤

Ain't no stopping us now

We're on the move

Sonata 🎶🎤

Hey

Veneer 🎶🎤

Ain't no stopping us now

We got the groove

Sonata 🎶🎤

There ain't no stopping us now

Veneer and the Dazzlings 🎶🎤

'Cause baby, you're a firework

Come and show them what you're worth

Make them go up, up, up

As you shoot across the sky

Veneer 🎶🎤

And baby,there no stopping us now

Sonata 🎶🎤

No ahhh

Veneer 🎶🎤

We’re on the move

Adagio and Aria 🎶🎤

Ah ah ah

Veneer and the Dazzlings 🎶🎤

Baby, you're a firework

Sonata 🎶🎤

Yes you are

Veneer 🎶🎤

We got the groove

Adagio and Aria 🎶🎤

Ah ah ah

Veneer 🎶🎤

And baby, there ain't no stopping us now

Sonata 🎶🎤

There ain’t no stopping us now

Veneer 🎶🎤

We’re on the move

Adagio and Aria 🎶🎤

Ah ah ah

Veneer,Adagio and Aria

Come and let your colors burst

Sonata 🎶🎤

C’mon let your colors burst

Veneer 🎶🎤

We got the groove

Adagio and Aria 🎶🎤

Ah ah ah

Sonata 🎶🎤

Cause I was Born this way

Veneer and the Dazzlings 🎶🎤

Born this wayyyyyy

Veneer 🎶🎤

Nah ah

Sonata 🎶🎤

Yeahhhh

The song ended as the shattered prison diamond blast everywhere making Velvet fall on the floor from the yacht.

@simplydannie @once-ler-ask-blog153 @horrorartist23 @angixxie @grinnworld @zephyrmars

[heretherebedork]

Francis watches Tharntype 2 (Day 2)

First thought: I am actually more excited about this than the first one because at least this one has a bunch of darling side couples.

Second thought: I should probably eat dinner... does a lemon poppyseed muffin count?

Third thought: Cut!

Episode 4

The idea that Tharn is trying to cook at this point is absolutely pointless. Ugh, the worst part is that this could be a cute scene if I'd just deal with my issues with their relationship and enjoy it.

lol hey, boys, maybe try talking to each other occasionally? Seems like a good idea. But dude don't waste all the cake ingredients!

The totally platonic 'let me wipe your face' scene. Mmmm, yes. Absolutely platonic. This is definitely a thing all friends do with each other. No question. My tiny idiots.

Tiny bratty Fiat just seeking the service and love and possessiveness so, so desperately. He knows what Leo responds to and he can deliver. And always does. Fiat craves Leo's attention and Leo's love languages include acts of service so he constantly acts on trying to give Fiat what he wants and take care of him.

Fiat whines and Leo has absolutely zero resistance. Literally zero.

And the way Leo looks at Fiat when he says he loves him. It's all affection and love but he still needs to refute him because he isn't sure of that love.

Type is just defending his kitchen from an intruder. I get it. That poor abandoned cake was probably doomed to be burnt anyway.

Tharn, just because Fiat is cute when he pouts doesn't make you cute. Frankly, it just makes you slightly obnoxious and not very good at communicating.

Seriously, they still don't trust each other and don't communicate. It's just not a good relationship at all. Ugh. What kinds of relationships are these people in?

I get that the theme of this show is their marriage but holy shit boys, try talking to each other about your issues? And not just making choices.

Protective Leo is the best Leo. He's so darling and so instantly jealous of Type it's almost funny. Boy already wants to tie Fiat up somewhere away from the world.

lol Type definitely thinks they're going out. He's more perceptive than they are about themselves. And instantly guilts Leo who already hates that Fiat is walking around. Ugh, babies.

Pissy, jealous Leo who is torn between pissy jealousy and his normal worry. I adore him. I do love Leo when he wants more but is also so scared about hurting their friendship and he drops everything instantly when Fiat whines or frowns or pouts.

Leo, service top, changing Fiat's shoes for him to let him try on a new pair. I do adore him so much. And the way Fiat stares as he does? The way his eyes focus on Leo to the exclusion of everything else? Hell yes.

Khunpol! Doc! YAY! Cuteness!

"I got lost while staring at this paper with the address of your restaurant on it and desperately wanting to talk to you and also I have a giant crush on you and I'm useless." I love him so much. All the tiny stammering is gonna do me in.

Champ and his complete lack of personal space dklgdf damn they're darling and cute AF I absolutely get the love, like, holy moly, @absolutebl, they're too cute for WORDS how dare they.

Champ is the most oblivious child in the entire universe and Doc has it so bad for him it's almost painful. I love pining so much goddamn this show has NO RIGHT to be so good at side couples.

Goddamn, this is adorable and I love Doc so much more than I feel should be legal. I seriously wanna pretend that this is the same school Bar and Gun are at and Gun and Doc can be friends and talk about pining.

Why does Thorn have to explain this to Tharn? Why can't Tharn just try talking to his, you know, long term boyfriend that he supposedly wants to marry?

Every time Champ ruffles Doc's hair it gets cuter.

So... didn't Thanya and Techno just out Tharn as Type's boyfriend on instagram? Like that... appears to have been what happened? Only no one noticed? What just happened?

Did Techno get more annoying or is it my imagination?

Dude, all you did was see Tharn talking to a girl near jewelry. Like... that's not a lot to tell. And you're done.

Techno acts like he's hungry but the food never goes in his mouth. At least Champ actually ate occasionally.

Awwww, Fiat sneaking shots of them practicing but also specifically sneaking shots of Leo. And then Leo trying desperately to get his attention. Like, honestly, Leo has it so bad for Fiat it's painful. He's the shyest, most worried boy though... ugh, I love them both so much.

Honestly, watching this, it's interesting to see how much more invested Leo was at this point. Fiat had mostly checked out of that hope of getting together and was trying so hard to move on while Leo has never been able to even begin to move on.

Okay, see, domesticity looks good on them. Why not just let them back a background couple to someone else for this season? Could've been cute!

Episode 5

"He's 100% single because he's never put it out on social media except for all the comments about him taking care of some 'Type' dude and all his very couple-like posts."

Seriously, these two have the absolute worst relationship ever. Mmmm, mutual distrust and lack of communication. Tastes horrible.

The idea that Type just outted himself to someone trying to steal his boyfriend and also works at the same company as him seems like a very bad idea for someone who wants to stay in the closet. Crossed wires, anyone?

I mean, seriously, how the fuck has Type managed to stay in the closet with Tharn this long if he's this jealous and possessive over him? It doesn't even make SENSE.

"You're the only one I go soft on" hehehehehehehehe

Awww, there's a puppy in the shot! AWWW PUPPY.

Type is rarely jealous? ... what?

I really don't see how it's hard to make Type jealous. Literally, Tharn, just go look at someone funny and Type'd lose his mind.

Oh, tiny idiot Fiat, trying to find a way to get over Leo but uselessly. And really stupidly.

Leo being all pissy while everyone around him knows what's going on and just tries to ignore it. And Fiat just... trying so hard and Leo getting hurt more and more as their friends are amused. And Leo's big smile when Fiat noticed he took care of him ughhh they're so cute damnit.

And the little neck/head stroke. Oh, boys.

Type's parents are great, I can't deny it.

Phugun just waits around from Cir to get back and it's darling. But also ukes/bottoms unite and Phugun's support of actually communicating issues is adorable. He's like, "hey, uh, have y'all ever heard of talking?" and I love him for it.

Look, I love darling established relationships with communication and lots of understanding so I'm glad we have Cir and Phugun in this show because they can give us that.

But this also seems like the kind of thing to just tell Tharn. Like... keeping it from him only feels more stressful than telling him? Won't Tharn figure out the whole not-getting-leave-thing pretty quickly?

lol now that @absolutebl pointed out Cir = Sir the dialogue is destroying me.

Cir is so possessive and Phu is 100% teasing him and Type is like '... get me out of this.'

Yes, communication! Thank you for the advice, Phugun, too bad you gave it to someone useless.

Phugun is darling and childish and I love him. And Cir takes good care of him. Look. Yes. It's true. Daddy/boy is definitely my favorite BL vibe. I'm fairly sure everyone knows this at this point.

Gotta be honest, Cir and Phugun go farther on the kink spectrum than Leo and Fiat did in some ways. Between Phugun's stuffed animals and childish pajamas and favorite candies and the way he bounces and drinks hot cocoa all the time... seriously. I mean, I love it, but seriously.

"You can do everything to me" MAME really likes that line.

Awww, Phugun telling Tharn that he was worried about Type.

Or you could try talking!

Awww, Champ and Doc eating together and being darling. And Doc is so flustered and useless and Champ doesn't even notice because he's oblivious and I love him.

Yeah, I'm just over here having love affairs with all the side couples in this show and trying to ignore the title couple.

Doc does the best heart eyes. And Champ does the best oblivious compliments.

Techno did get a bit more annoying, I'm pretty sure of it. I think adding seven years without any maturity hurts his character.

motherfucking lol Champ stroking Doc's nose and Doc literally losing all his utensils with a cosmic rush of lust.

And the hair!

I do like that all the characters ship ChampDoc as much as the audience does. And that the basic advice with Champ is "literally write it down, spell it out, make it so clear that even my oblivious idiot friend can figure it out."

They really did make this boss character as obnoxious as possible. Like, pulled not stops, just made him the worst ever without any question or hesitation. He's basically a caricature.

Oh hey, look, a chance to communicate and he actually talks at least a little! But Tharn instantly tells him to calm down. No wonder they never talk. Tharn can't handle venting and Type doesn't always want solutions. Not the best mix, especially if they won't even try.

The handhold is cute but it doesn't help anything. TALK, DAMNIT.

Welp, that's it for tonight! Tomorrow is a maybe, considering I get an actual show to watch tomorrow.

[cicaklah]

strange new worlds!!!

I watched the first seven episodes of strange new worlds and I'm here to TALK about them incoherently.

Look, after disco season 3 and picard season 2, I had basically had my heart broken twice. Make me love a show, make me bond with a crew, then fuck it all over with bad writing, poor decision making and shoddy showrunning.

Is it happening again??? oh, probably. But much as in 2017 when I was at rock bottom disco provided me with what I needed, in 2022 it did it again, just what I needed this time was some by the numbers star trek.

some of the perennial problems of modern trek are still present: characters have to have big secrets as well as tragic backstories. too many coincidences that just happen to tie into classic trek a little too evenly. However, a lot of that is excused: these are characters we know and they are connected.

I am very glad that this is it though, there isn't a big overriding mystery yet. Disco especially couldn't work out whether it wanted to be a show with a big mystery or lots of small mysteries and instead just piled mystery upon mystery until everyone was just suffocated.

I love the decisions that have been made: the gorn being the token scary baddies is a good choice. Fleshing out Spock and T'Pring's relationship is delicious, T'Pring is glorious. I'm waiting for her to ask Spock to fuck her like a human and how much that will bsod his brain to the point I will probably write it.

I ADORE Una and La'al. I didn't think I'd like La'al, mostly because I'm sick of everyone must be one degree of separation, but I love her so much. I love Una and Pike's relationship. I am BESOTTED with Chapel. Baby Uhura is adorable. Ortega is great. Hemmer is...you don't need me to spend ages talking about Andorians/Aenar because I read all those beta canon books (DRINK), just to say though I love him.

So far all seven episodes are great, probably the weakest was the pilot, though it was good. The commitment to self contained episodes and the old A/B plotting just is a reminder that the structure is a classic for a reason. Also, they did body swap!!! Body Swap and Enterprise Bingo! In one episode!

Quick reviews of each episode:

strange new worlds: pike's beard is awful, spock's body is incredible, light touch tie into disco, I miss Michael too, and a retconning of star trek history that would have been better coming before picard but that I'm still mildly annoyed about because it still doesn't really make sense to pretend that the diversion point between us and star trek is yet to happen but also not ugh just FINE BE THAT WAY.

children of the comet: could be mid-tier forgettable tng episode and I mean that as a compliment.

ghosts of illyria: echoes of tng episodes past collide with beta canon and two characters having secrets. genuinely loved this episode, una being illyrian is something I was annoyed was apparently changed but nah. Also discussing augments and eugenic war legacy oh my its like christmas.

memento mori: SO GOOD just so good. Ambushes! Gorns! Cat and mouse in space! Character development!!! Creepy shit!!! Hemmer!!! Creative uses for things!! Mind melds!!!

Spock Amok: BODY SWAP!!!!!!! ENTERPRISE BINGO!!!! Interesting diplomacy B plot! The solarsail ship! A definite great.

lift us where suffering can't reach: this is just an adaptation of 'those who walk away from omelas' but I am glad they did it, even if now the show is doomed to be sued by ursula k leguin for plagiarisms. but does her story have topless pike? no. so this episode is obviously the superior 'powered by a forsaken child' story.

the serene squall: shipbait and a great villain who overall sells a filler episode. good job. also: sybok!!!!!! the return of sarek: galaxy's worst dad maybe???

anyway this show is good I don't know why people aren't talking about it. also there's loads of kissing, absolutely loads of it. it didn't cure my depression but it did make me feel a bit better to lie in bed, watch star trek and eat crisps.

[janeykath318]

Dear Lord, I want His Babies (TaserWings edition)

Soulmate indicators came in a lot of different ways: the most common were the first words one would hear spoken by their soulmate printed on the skin and the timers that counted down until the moment two soulmates were destined to meet. Sam had also known people who had experienced colors for the first time when they met their soulmate, Steve being one of those. He’d talked about how it had felt the moment he’d met Peggy and how his black and white world had exploded into color.

Sam, on the other hand, had no soulmate indicator at all, not even a platonic one, which was a tough one to swallow. He’d done a lot of research on the topic and had found that unless he was in the 5 percent of people whose words didn’t even show up until they’d met their soulmate, he was most likely unmatched.

He figured it was for the best when he lost Riley and saw the devastated soulmate sobbing at the funeral. Sam didn’t want to leave anyone in that kind of pain if he could help it.

Then he met Steve Rogers and was pretty sure he WAS doomed, given the fights the man picked with corrupt government agencies and how likely he was to drag Sam along with him into said fights. Then things escalated into a fight to save the universe, which led to his five year hiatus from existence.

In the immediate aftermath of Thanos’s defeat and Steve’s handing him the shield, he had way too much on his mind to even think about soulmate stuff, so when it happened, he was taken completely by surprise.

He was going on a run one morning, missing Steve and brooding on the chaos in the world when he passed a couple of joggers and heard one say “Dear Lord, I want his babies.”

“Darcy!” Scolded a second voice. “What did I tell you about sexually harassing people first thing in the morning?”

Sam almost tripped and fell in shock as the sentence suddenly appeared in bright silver lettering on his arm. Dear Lord, I want his babies.

“Sorry. He’s just SO HOT my brain to mouth filter broke,” responded the first voice meekly.

“Not that it ever works,” retorted the second voice. “And it’s not me who you should apologize to.”

“I doubt he even heard me. Don’t worry, Jane.”

Sam leaned up against a tree, catching his breath while he waited for them to circle back around. He was not going to miss out on meeting his soulmate, especially since he didn’t think he was going to have one.

As they approached, he got a pretty good view.

They were both petite brunettes, one lean and one curvy. The shorter one was moving along steadily, ear buds in and continually checking her watch: clearly all business. The curvy one had thick dark hair pulled up in a messy bun and was complaining loudly about her lungs being on fire. Sam grinned. She was definitely his soulmate. As she grew closer, he amended that statement to gorgeous soulmate.

Her eyes widened when she saw him standing there, and she whispered something to her companion, who rolled her eyes and pushed her towards Sam, saying “Go. Flirt. Just don’t scare the poor guy off with your impulsive mouth.”

Sam grinned at her invitingly and that seemed to assure her, and she practically swaggered toward him. He thought those beautiful blue eyes would be the death of him as they sparkled mischievously the closer she got.

“Waiting on someone?” She asked in a tone that screamed “please let it be me.”

“As a matter of fact I am, soulmate,” Sam answered her, just as flirtatiously, casually displaying the writing on his arm.

Her hand flew to her mouth and her face flushed.

“You heard that?” She asked, looking everywhere but at him, clearly very embarrassed.

Sam nodded.

“Sure did. And a few seconds later, my Mark appeared. I’ve thought I was blank all my life.”

“So did I,” she admitted. “I don’t think I have one—-wait. There’s something weird on my foot.”

Taking off her shoe and sock, Sam’s soulmate discovered his first words to her written on her foot. She gasped, locked eyes with him, and then hurled herself at him.

“You’re right! We’re totally soulmates!! Yes!” She squealed as they embraced. “Janey! I found my soulmate!”

Sam chuckled as he held her, very ecstatic and almost disbelieving it had finally happened to him. She pulled back and looked at him curiously, as if trying to recognize him.

“Sam Wilson,” he supplied.

“No wonder you looked so familiar!” She exclaimed. “I can’t believe I get an avenger for my soulmate! Oh, I’m Darcy Lewis, by the way. I was all angry at Jane for dragging me out on a run, but I take it all back. Totally worth it.”

“I agree,” Sam said.

“Even though you’ve got THOSE words on you for the rest of your life?”

“Yep. Very flattering. I much prefer them to, say, “Look at that gross sweaty dude over there.””

Darcy giggled sheepishly.

“Well, I’m gross and sweaty, too, so that would have been highly hypocritical of me. Dude, your biceps! Ugh.”

She pretended to swoon dramatically.

“I hope you’ll like the rest of me, too,” Sam teased, letting her feel up said arms.

“Oh, I’m sure I will,” Darcy assured him happily. “Everything I’ve read about you screams “really good guy. And I get you for a soulmate!! Eek!”

She wriggled with delight and Sam started falling head over heels for her.