#ugh i haaaaaaaate

[leofrith]

thinking about how dor could have actually been a very good eivor dlc if they actually gave a shit about eivor :/

[hardly-a-p3rson]

nooooooo don't make me book an appointment nooooooooo

[music-for-them-asses]

TW: Weight loss mention

Ughggh I'm so frustrated with my weight. I've gained so much since last year. Part of it was messing with my antidepressants; part of it was gaining muscle by working out. I know I should be eating healthier and increasing my workouts, but the motivation is just not there. (I think lowering my main antidepressant has been to blame for part of that). My mom has Type 2 diabetes, so I know I need to start taking care of myself now to lower my chances of getting it. But it's so frustrating when it's your medication causing most of the weight gain. Until I make big changes in my life, I can't go off the antidepressants. There's also no guarantee that I would lose weight if I stopped taking them.

Anyway!! I'm gonna try to make healthier changes, like eating less fast food and going to the gym an additional day a week. I'm trying not to focus on just weight loss, but Jesus! It would be nice!!

[ilikeyoshi]

i just wanna do it slowly but i cant bc i gotta have this phone reset and turned in by like friday or lose $500 so. cool.

cant wait to be done transferring my data from iphone to android so i can never do it again. i hate technology

[girlwithptsd]

Here's a story about how trauma-brain makes little things into very big things.

(Prefacing with everyone and everything is okay, just my brain feels like it's on fire.)

Today I was at work. I work at a small business and today I pulled into the parking lot to see no cars anywhere (not unusual for a Sunday), but there were two people chilling in chairs at the far end of the parking lot. I thought to myself they were waiting for a store to open and didn't think anything of it.

About 40ish minutes later, the property manager's cousin (who helps out with the property) came in and asked me if I knew the people in the parking lot. I told him no, that I'd never seen them before. He thanked me and walked out.

Then, trauma-brain kicked in. I was like SHOULD I get involved? Should I be worried? What if they're wanting to rob one of the stores? I texted my boss who was out of town to ask if she wanted me to do anything.

I then went outside to where property manager's cousin was sitting in his car. He basically said that he didn't want to get anyone in trouble, but he was also concerned that they were loitering for a reason and was waiting to hear back from the property manager to see if she wanted him to take further action.

I went back inside, and trauma-brain kicked in even more, thinking of all the worst-case scenarios. Mind you, these people were just sitting outside in the parking lot on a nice day.

I got so anxious that I texted my mom and she said she or my dad would come down to the store to sit with me and make sure I'm okay. That was a super nice offer, but I literally said to my mom, "No, if something bad happens, I don't want to worry about two of us trying to get away." So then I finally texted my boss's husband, who my boss said to call in case of emergency. He immediately responded that he would be right there (they live 5 minutes from the store).

Boss's husband went and talked to the people. I guess one of them called boss's husband a tough guy (because he was open carrying, which is legal in this state- side note, boss's husband never touched his gun, he was just wearing it) and said he had a gun too, but they did leave. They went across the street into another store that had just opened.

Idk if they just didn't have a car or what (it's none of my business), but I both felt bad and anxious at the same time. If they were homeless and/or actually not up to anything, that sucks that they weren't just left alone, but I guess you never know?

Long story short, the rest of the day I spent basically shaking, dizzy, feeling like I was going to pass out with racing thoughts and pounding heart.

Again, nothing actually happened.

In between texts and conversations, I kept thinking about worst case scenarios. It was allll doom and gloom up in my brain.

And now it's midnight and I'm STILL having anxiety.

Guess it's gonna be a Trazodone night for me...

But seriously, why you gotta be like this, brain? Why?! Why tf am I obsessing over a case of loitering, when so much worse happens to people every day? I know it's because of my past traumas that have nothing to do with today's happenings, but that's the point: they have nothing to do with today's happenings.

Maybe it's also the repercussions of living in a society that allows people to carry guns on them wherever, and in a country that has mass shootings.

But like, these poor people were just chilling.

Ugh. I haaaaaaaate thiiiiiiiiis!!!!!

[pinkopalina]

ugh i HAAAAAAAATE my art i cannot STAND it every LINE is like a TRIAL THROUGH FIRE over and over again UGH i know it's not attractive to be all self hatey about my stuff but i sooo cannot hel- it i have no idea what's wrong i hate it so much it's so horrible it's so backwards and i'm just getting worse and i hate it

[humanoidtyphoons]

rewatched the first fantastic beasts film, bc well, i did like it, and i can't help but get annoyed at how the focus became less about newt and the beasts!!! in the sequels to... ugh, dumbledore. i just don't care! he was fine in hp but i don't think you need to focus on him nearly so much in the prequels!!!! give me newt caring about beasts and wanting to understand them, and being awkward with people, and taking jacob along for the ride.

i still don't like tina/newt that much as a ship, and i haaaaaaaate what was done with queenie in later movies, bc jacob/queenie still so charming in the first movie. just leave america if muggle-witch marriage is such an issue!!!! don't fucking cast a spell on him like that!!!!

[mayanangel]

Introvert Things #01:

If I've already hyped myself up to do any one thing, ABSOLUTELY DO NOT swoop in and add ANOTHER THING to that thing; because I assure you, my energy levels have already been measured and counted for THAT ONE THING AND ONE THING ONLY, thus adding another thing to my thing will only make me rethink doing ANYTHING at all.

[fortunately-bi]

So bad news. PayPal refunded everyone cause despite my efforts I haven't been able to connect my ko-fi to my PayPal, PayPal is refusing to connect to my bank account and absolutely would not let me accept the money. And now PayPal is flat out saying I dont have an account with them. I've contacted customer service multiple times and nothing. I'm gonna try to find an alternative to ko-fi cause it's not working. I don't want to throw my PayPal out there but I might have to. I don't want to push PayPal too hard cause it's locked me out of my bank account on multiple occasions and with the covid-19 shit going on I don't want to get locked out and not be able to go to the bank and unlock it. Thank you to everyone who offered me help and generously donated. I'm gonna try to fix this.

My name is Avery and I'm stuck in Nowheresville. Help.

For those who haven't seen it, I made a post recently explaining my situation. Basically I'm stuck in this town in the middle of nowhere in Kentucky trying to make a living and get out. My car doesn't have much time left, I'm trying to see a therapist once a week, and save up to move out. Again. I've had issues saving money in the past but recently I've been trying really hard and managed to save over $1000! Which I've lost. Running errands for my parents, and having to deal with over draft from throwing every cent in my savings and having none of it to spend. And meds. And car parts. And appointments. You get the idea. Now my boss is saying she won't give me my requested days off for my therapy appointments or to figure school out. I should be seeing my therapist once a week and I'm only seeing her every 3 weeks, and she's very worried about my suicidal thoughts and ideations and my getting dragged into addictions and constantly being around liquor. I've already started smoking again and I've been feeling incredibly self destructive.

So what am I asking for?

Money. Which I am absolutely not enjoying this. I don't like asking for money, I hate asking for help, I hate being THIS stuck in life. I just want out. I want to go home, back in Michigan.

I won't ask for anything major. Even just a ko-fi donation could help me. My goal is to get a new car so I can drive the 30+ minutes I have to go to reach other towns and better jobs, and also go to school. And if you can't spare the money, please spread this. I'm so tired and I'm trying really hard to hang on and see a future, but I'm starting to feel like I'm never going to get anywhere.

Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/a_very

[tellywoodtrash]

ebss 15.08.19 lb

pooja's bitchface at all these people invading her house early in the morning is legit my permanent mood.

panditji is like vadhu is not dressed at all? hush sir, she's living my best life, doing everything, down to shaadi, in her jammies.

this fucker already pulling the "pati is parmeshwar" bullshit.

god you are so going to get murdered once this wedding is done, dude. i really need her to go black widow/praying mantis like the OG promos of this show.

rani is me, outraged at this misogynist rubbish.

“rang maine khud choose kiye hai... sonali baahar agar koi tumhari bhaabi ki tareef kare, toh bataana mat bhoolna ki yeh rang tumhare kabir bhaiyya ne tumhari bhaabi ke liye specially choose kiya hai.”

lord, he’s laying on the performative romantic gushiness more than dhruv also.

sonali has taken over from rani wrt best reactions in bg. i love her face so much. i love it so much that now deepika padukone looks like nakli aanchal to me.

ugh.

rani's desperation to break it all up is already showing. barely minutes later.

pooja is like bish you think i wanna marry that loser? i'm just buying time.

lol, shaadi toh hogi boo. abhi se uss sach ke saath samjhauta karlo toh achcha.

my god this bitch. she really don't give a fuck about di or maa. she's really something elseeeeee.

chanda is already bossing over everyone, because ladke waale. unko toh saath khoon maaf.

aur lol, in sab ke thopde dekho.

fucker. i thought he was genuinely apologizing to amma for the way he’s doing this. but he's just being a passive aggressive asshole.

WHY KABIR???? TELL ME THERE'S SOME GOOD ULTERIOR MOTIVE BEHIND THIS, LIKE YOU'RE TRYING TO PROTECT POOJA+MOM FROM DHRUV OR THE CHOPRAS OR SOMETHING. PLEASE!?!?!?! I HAD SO MUCH HOPE FROM YOUUUUUUUUUUU.

ok some small mercy that he's concerned about "maa" and doing her ilaaj and all.

(idk with what money, but i'll take whatever scraps of goodness i can get rn.)

here comes the briiiiide, all dressed in whiiiiiite.

and pink. coz apparently that's kabir's favt. colour.

"mashaAllah. mashaAllah!!!!!!! kaha tha na maine, in kapdo mein MERI POOJA khil uthegi. nihaayati khoobsoorat lag rahi ho tum, pooja!"

woh sab toh theek hai but why you talking like hrithik from jodhaa akbar suddenly???

"aaj se tumahre life ke saare important decisions main loonga."

bitch, you're seriously asking for a swift kick in the groin. someone call sonakshi rastogi pls.

no sonali. we do not smile at this patriarchal garbage. come on.

ouffffffffff yaaaaaaar. dekho magar pyaar se.

haraami insaan.

ugh. my poor girl.

i can't help but lol at suman. ek baar isko bahu baanake laane ka nateeja abhi tak bhugat rahein hain, ki chalo doosri baar bhi isiiiiko laana hai.

it's ok, sab tumhara hi kiya-dharaa hai. if only you hadn't aided and abetted arson and murder.

FUCKER. IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. TERE HAATH KAAT KE SAMUNDAR MEIN NA PHENK DOON MAIN.

"bohut jald yeh tumhara ghamand mein duniya ke saamne todunga."

I HATE MEN. I HATE MEN. I HAAAAAAAATE MEN. DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE

ouff ab aashirwaad bhi lena hai is manhoos shaadi ke liye.

lmaoooooooo everyone's faces.

....... except chanda, who's enjoyinggggggggggg being badi buzurg in this sitch.

done? now everyone literally gtfo pls.

"tum kitni dakhyanusi ho yaar. aaj kal dono families ek jagah book karti hain, ek jagah rasmein poori karti hain, enjoy karte hain, masti karte hain..."

ohhhhhhhhhh boy.

yup. ghar jamai has moved the fuck in. with the whole fam.

DO DIN MEIN SHAADI????? uthaaaaaaa le reeee deva.

also didn't he say he wanted lammmmmmbi shaadi?

sis try not to be so obvious that you're playing for time.

lol yeh kabir sonali yaaraana.

guess jai is still in the doghouse for the exam cheating thing.

TIME TO USE YOUR JANHVI MITTAL WAALA DIMAAG AGAIN SIS. YA WOH RADDI MEIN BECH AAYI APNE SAARE SAARIYON KE SAATH?

haaaye meri bachchi.

what the fuck is your deal bro? usko sataana bhi hai, rote hue dekha bhi nahi jaata. why are you like this??

mummy is here to taunt, ki "kya hua, uske do boond aansoo gire aur saari badle ki aag thandi pad gayi?"

he insists there's no badle ki aag. THEN WHAT IS THIS???? I DON'T GET IT. EXPLAIN TO ME.

how ironic, azaadi ke din hi azaadi kho baithi.

pooja's like i need to gtfo this damn house. 15 august toh 15 august, chalo manaate hain.

ok blah blah maatrubhoomi blah blah idc.

but look how fucking stunning. lord. how is she realllllllllllllllllllllll???????

lmao ranjeet is a realist. kabir yahaan se chavanni bhi nahi lene dega, aur rani bhi nahi pat rahi.

LMAO HE'S ALREADY GOTTEN TINDER.  ("yeh dekho; so many roop ki ranis, for your choron ka raja!")

OMFG CHANDA WANTS TO GET ON TINDER TOO. LSKJFLSKJFLK LORD PLS SPARE MEEEEEE.

lololololol rani sees di sneaking into kabir's room.

what clue you even expect to find here in this room sis, he literally just moved in an hour ago?????????

lol rani ke zakham pe toh top class himalayan pink salt chhidkaa jaa raha hai.

ugh he's so irritating. like kinda sorta justified in the snark coz she WAS snooping in his room, but ugh.

*windows log off noise* oh that sound? it’s just me switching my morality waala brain off. coz i've had enough for today. i'm just gonna stare at these ridiculously beautiful faces super up close to each other, coz it's all i've wanted from this show anyway. let me have this!

siiiiiiiiiiiigh in a different show.....

god chachi has brought full paltan and is literally saying "shame shame, puppy shame."

chachi gtfo here with your slut shaming.

AND YOU, STOP CHEESIN' AND ENJOYING THIS. GOD YOU'RE THE FUCKING WORST, MAN.

———————————————————————

oh boy, kal naach gaana episode hai.

but shail is back!

kyun behen? tu khud kyun jaayegi???? to invite more attention and let him know you're on the case? god pooja, you're dumb as fuck. honestly. 

[edcontrolme]

all of my clothes make my shoulder and chest look so wide ugh i haaaaaaaate this

[frayings]

Uugghhhh I haaaaaaaate tinder And small talk and opening lines and getting to know each other and dating and ugh I JUST WANNA FALL IN LOVE

[oflgtfol]

ugh im gonna have to email my prof what format he wants my research paper in bc ive kinda just assumed MLA format but i haaaaaaaate how MLA in-text citations work, especially for more scientific writing like this, like its just so awk to be talking about science and then just have (Zwicky 7) at the end of the sentence like i truly just want to use the footnote type citations like wikipedia has, just a lil number exponent. especially bc i have TWO papers by zwicky im using so to do in-text citations with MLA i gotta fucking write the whole article name out instead of Zwicky. so it’s like, just la-dee-da writing science and then suddenly the whole flow is ruined by (”On the Masses of Nebulae and of Clusters of Nebulae” 3) at the end of the sentence like its so CLUNKY i hate it

[artificialgrievand]

Well it is aaaaaaaall in my noggin 8ut I am 8uilt with natural uh. I suppose one could call it degener8ive encrypting memories. 8asically just that I will lose the access to the inform8ion if I do not study it.

Which is why I have to write it all down. ::::( I haaaaaaaate (h8!!!!!!!!) writing info down, 8ut it is a necessity. 8ecause noooooooo, typing it out would just 8e too simple!

Ugh.

8ut? Yes. I have hard information on this timeline on hand. It is only a cluster of vari8ions of the one right now though!

As for help, uh. I was not expecting you to just offer like that! Jade doesn’t seem interested in going over my research or... anything like we used to so I just... assumed you might 8e equally inclined. So your offer to ward off the fellow who drove a pickaxe through my skull is actually quite appreci8ed. It requires a 8it of an open schedule though, I must warn you!

@artificialgrievand replied to your post: This is an open request to anyone who can see…

That sounds like an infinity pond!

What is an infinity pond?

[artisticclusterfuck]

me @ my brain

*banging head against table* if you could just stop isolating yourself and reach out to people... IT'D BE REAL FUCKING NEATO

[holmesianpose]

ugh this is too stressful- why do they have to do these fucking early screening things- I haaaaaaaate to be spoiled, but it also stresses me out so much that the information is potentially available to me and I could try and find it- even though I don’t want to know- or is it better to know early??? in case it isn’t what we think and hope?? I DON’T KNOW THIS IS ALL JUST WAY TOO STRESSFUL