#ugh I'm so emo about them

[aberooski]

Atticus and Alexis give me serious twin energy. Like they're not, but they are. Like they look like seriously super alike, that helps but like just like I can’t even really explain it I haven't like, nailed it down for myself even what it is. But they're twins.

And like you can't tell me that if they were Atticus wouldn't hold the fact that he'd be like 10 minutes older than her when she acts like she's the older sibling or geta really protective of him and she'd be like 🙄 about it but in the most affectionate way

[niuxita21]

Like Water for Chocolate is the female-centric Mexican period drama I didn't know I needed in my life. Even if I hadn't read and loved the book and weren't completely mind-blown by the fact that it is EXACTLY what imagined, it's still just the kind of visually stunning Bridgerton vibe (with a dash of revolutionary history to keep it grounded) that I always thoroughly enjoy.

That said... IDK what I'm more weirded out by: 1) how young Tita looks given how sexual the book gets at times or 2) how VIOLENTLY ATTRACTED I am to Irene Azuela as Mamá Elena. OMG. If you had told this to my 16-year-old baby lesbian self when she was reading the book and horrified by how awful her character was, her little head would have exploded lmao. Life is weird and wonderful sometimes.

[theirloveisgross]

my best friends. <3 (november 2019)

[hannie-dul-set]

having the worst fucking week of my LIFE i can't do this anymore.

[amyoffline]

It's done! The outline for—

—is below the cut. The goal of this project is to explore the following phenomena with as much context and nuance as I can manage, tracing our history over the past 15 years:

What about us, and what about Dan and Phil, drew in and continues to draw in a very specific audience. If they are a ranch metaphor, we are a pizza metaphor 🥗🍕🫶🏻

Why we were Like That™, by which I mean so parasocially invested in them that we became, at times, the most annoying people on the internet. Much of that reputation is undeserved, and the videos on the phandom to date have been strongly negative. So, uh, I guess I'm going to put my face on camera and (mostly) defend us.

Reblog, share in your Discord servers, reply, or send me messages/anon asks with feedback or resources if you have any! Especially if your experience being in this fandom community has been dramatically different from mine. There are TIT spoilers near the end of the outline, but I'm not tagging because certain individuals seem to be lurking over there. Thank you!

Chapters:

Full outline:

introduction

cold open

felt personally attacked by jonathan haidt's last press tour

showed up to the phrenaissance 11 months late

had an unexpectedly strong response to their new content, needed to find out why

what the hell are we doing here?

- phenomenology (academics are professionally insufferable) - research question 1: what drew the audience in? - research question 2: why were we Like That™?

what we're NOT doing here

- a strict content analysis or "wow we sucked" video - providing sources for things best left uncirculated, thank you

reflexivity (personal biases)

- american zillennial in public health - in the youtube audience by spring 2010 - lurking in the phandom on tumblr 2013-2015, back* since 2019 - fan behavior i did and did not engage in

(----): truly necessary background information, i swear

(pop) cultural trends, tech, and their intersection

- nerd/geek identity and the first online weirdos - broadcast tv & the music industry vs the internet - defining "emo" - blogging & vlogging - early internet comedy

broader social/economic trends

- so the U.S. economy collapsed in 2007 - a decade that sucked except for rom-coms and square enix games - the flip/slide phone + digital camera + mp3 player loadout

(05-8): early youtube and early phil

youtube: a great video uploader without a clear purpose

the content on the website

- crossposts, corporations, and creative/social outlets - omg guys it's amazing phil - contemporary youtube-to-legacy success: justin bieber

the audience of "early adopters"

contemporary social media sites and forums

(2009): origin story

a wild dan appears… in the comments

the global constant that is teenagers being messy online

daring my old school district to sue me

- "one town's war on gay teens" (literal rolling stone headline!) - epidemiology 101: rates of… ugh… "unaliving" oneself - ways kids cope when it seems no adults will help them

the earliest days of dan & phil

- hello internet + pinof - a chronically overexamined timeline - file deleted ---* so how big WAS the audience at the time? ---* acceptable funny/edgy language was just different

contemporary youtube-to-legacy success: lucas cruikshank

omg it's meeeeeee

- how amy & friends were using youtube - ways i was just destined to end up here - being in social environments with peers 3-6 years older

(2010): is it "twenty-ten" or "two thousand ten?"

youtube is a platform about to explode in popularity

- the algorithm before it was The Algorithm™, lost site features - let's take a trip through the wayback machine :3c - actual dan & phil content in 2010 - the green brothers found vidcon - contemporary youtube-to-legacy success: darren criss

social media: also about to explode in popularity

- facebook was cool at the time, believe it or not - law of equivalent exchange: 2010 amy cringe compilation - the birth of instagram and pinterest - youtube slash livejournal (the first phanfics… sort of) - shockfic and its place in the overton window

the beginning of "the great rewiring" as haidt calls it

- ways social media is about to dramatically change - third spaces become online spaces - confounding variable: changing expectations of teens

(2011): the end of an era, the start of an age

a very long tangent on fandom and pop culture

cultural exchange

counterculture and teenagers as concepts

the first british invasion: the 1960s

- beatlemania and its descendents - moral panic about the virtue of tween/teen girls - tv/film/fashion trends being imported from the uk - in parallel, star trek births the modern fandom

the second british invasion: the 1980s

- synth/new pop that came out of the punk movement (hi, emo?) - confined mainly to music and fashion - cool britannia

it's harry freakin' potter

- absolute titan of pop culture influence - the rise of online fandom: examining the horrors ---* what is "wank" ---* flaming, sockpuppeting, and general cyberbullying ---* censorship: ffnet purges, boldthrough, & strikethrough ---* other fandom shenanigans of the time (yaoi paddles, anyone?)

harry potter's over. now what?

- for those who needed coming-of-age hero's journeys ---* twilight and YA dystopia waiting in the wings ---* some pretty iconic tv shows start or hit their stride ---* the mcu's phase one ---* takeaway: the rise of "geek culture" generally - for those who just wanted to go to hogwarts ---* doctor who & the wider world of bbc programming ---* british vloggers, you say? where? on youtube? brb--

end tangent, back to your regularly scheduled programming

dan & phil in the first half of 2011

- a continuation of 2010… for now - the videos - british pancakes as a case study of bad fan behavior

streaming and social media

- the birth of snapchat, twitch, and younow - netflix starts developing original programming - multi-channel networks (mcns) - digitour

dan & phil in the second half of 2011

- and they were roommates (omg they were roommates) - fantastic foursome - youtube glitches out - the super amazing project - the first proper baking video + wait, is that the bbc?

~ baking interlude 1: christmas cookies ~

the family sugar cookie (sorry, delia)

amy's 2011

(2012): why is anyone nostalgic for this

the transition from desktop to mobile

- massive growth in smartphone ownership 2011-2015 - things one might do on mobile one might not do on desktop - non-online ways smartphones changed being a youth™

what is tumblr and why is my child using it

- how the site is meant to work - fandom, memes, aesthetics, and SOME public figures - want to be anxious and depressed in peace? come to tumblr - this site seems a little……… gay ---* tumblr's very queer, very neurodiverse userbase ---* legacy media representation in 2012: bad! ---* actual academic research on tumblr users (yes, it exists) - the tumblr experience for non-native english speakers

amy becomes a vibrating mass of panic and paranoia

- in context of the above - additional rant about the american public school system

the growing dan & phil audience

- investigating the origin of the term "phannie" - more collaborations = more viewers - more video uploads = more /invested/ viewers - younow and interacting with fans - watch time replaces clicks in the algorithm

online etiquette, or lack thereof

- mid-transition from the 2000s to the 2010s - "professional internet celebrity" is still basically brand-new - lack of boundaries - various ways to be an asshole online - unsupervised kids simply do not engage in best practices

the end of 2012

- dan and phil move to london - wikipedia vandalism - tiptoeing around a top contender for the phandom's greatest sin - super amazing project DONE, now it's BBC RADIO TIME

(2013): arguably the most important year

- wait. what's that six-second video platform over there--

[amy's curated vine compilation]

- a new wave of internet comedians (read: future youtubers) - the zillennial lexicon - other platforms start emphasizing short-form video content - magcon

emo is BACK - well, sort of

- fob hiatus ends, mcr breaks up. my god. you had to be there - more open ties to nerd/geek culture than in the 2000s - these things once again intersect at dan and phil

dan and phil in the first half of 2013

- siri, what's a "sex symbol?" why are you booing me i'm right-- - d&p are everywhere - radio shows, interviewing, hosting - youtube uploads on their individual channels

rapidly changing cultural attitudes towards queerness

- gay marriage will be legal in places other than canada soon - a lot of assimilationist rhetoric though tbh - parallels to the pop feminism of the decade

hey kids, let's talk about compulsory heterosexuality!!

- what is it and why do people do it - academic, tumblr-level, and anecdotal research - the dannies, the phillies, and the phannies

amy

- the closet™ - mental health stigma - 2013 dnp posts from my main blog

dan and phil in the second half of 2013

- subscriber milestones, vidcon - joint content before the gaming channel - phandom starts having a major presence outside tumblr

(2014): achievement unlocked!

it's time to talk about rpf

- definitions (a chance to be annoyingly pedantic) - academic perspectives and fan discourse on the ethics - when the subjects clearly aren't fine with it - so… we can acknowledge "shipping phan" was different, right? ---* sometimes the subjects are fine* with it, actually ---* how dan and phil started to handle the shipping ---* obvious differences between phan and other rpf ships ---* sharing my favorite passages as a first-time phanfic reader

dan and phil in 2014

- wikipedia vandalism 2: electric boogaloo - bbc request show → internet takeover - the 7 second challenge - youtube content, subscriber milestones, rewind - cons and award shows

tumblr reaches the peak of its influence

- yahoo's attempts to monetize the userbase - buzzfeed and aggregators steal our jokes and bait our clicks - legacy media dangles carrots and uses us for free marketing - the legend of korra breaks TV precedent, almost out of nowhere - the tumblr user experience ---* on mobile, without xkit ---* on desktop, with xkit ---* 2014 dnp posts from my main blog

gamergate and its long shadow

- trolling, renewed and revamped - algorithms push increasingly extreme content - the broad conservative backlash conglomerate - increased normalization of conspiracism in general

my greatest sin [not clickbait] [very funny]

- so, circling back to comphet… - the actual story

anyway, let's talk about danandphilgames

- a star is born: dil howlter - different types of gaming content on youtube at the time - why did 17yo amy not subscribe? well…

~ baking interlude 2: chocolate cupcakes ~

make your own frosting. it freezes well

roasting myself further

(2015): it's not queerbaiting when it's real people

facebook "pivots to video"

- mark zuckerberg lied. water is wet - causes other platforms to REALLY double down on video - the birth of musical.ly - corporate-branded creators (read: future youtubers)

queerbaiting enters mainstream public consciousness

- academic origins - early fannish and acafan writing - johnlock, destiel, and sterek - statistics 101: type i error, type ii error, and queerbait

dan, phil, and the phandom

- bbc, cons, & the brits - danandphilcrafts - phan conspiracies ---* japhan ---* body language experts ---* timeline truthers ---* floor plan investigators ---* no but seriously imagine it - regular youtube uploads ---* solo content ---* joint content ---* subscriber milestones, rewind - tatinof uk and tabinof ---* on "selling out" ---* revisiting the statistics 101 lesson: now with real people! ---* never meet your heroes (unless they're dan and phil)

amy's (temporary) exit from the phandom

- it's legal adulthood with a steel chair!! - growing discomfort with some fans' behavior - 2015 dnp posts from my main blog - the closer: final fantasy vii

(2016): season finale

vine's imminent demise

- content platforms behaving badly - content creators behaving badly

youtube after "the great rewiring" (as haidt calls it)

- version 1.0 of the modern youtube algorithm ---* deep neural networks for dummies ---* what's holding creators accountable, or not - advertising and sponsorships ---* basically every child and youth™ is watching now ---* the battle for our attention ---* regulators start to crack down on undisclosed ads - the rise of drama/tea content (and later, channels) ---* youtubers are now seen as regular celebrities ---* dan and phil as the butt of other youtubers' jokes ---* baiting the phandom for engagement

tatinof us and aus

- a proven new model for live show tours - show & documentary released to youtube red (now premium) - [sigh] the tour bus

sea change in online fandom

- the newer, sometimes queerer media in korra's wake ---* better and more representation in live-action tv shows ---* voltron (i'm sorry!!!) ---* the mystic messenger craze ---* alice oseman & heartstopper - the new dynamics of #discourse ---* proship is to anti as phannie is to phanti ---* the bad behaviors of the 00s get a new coat of paint ---* new, though: fans harassing creators ---* a personal note on ace discourse

dan and phil presence off-tour

- the internet takeover ends - regular content, subscriber milestones

so. uh. current events.

- brexit - sorry the united states is a font of chaos - ripple effects

closing out the year

- amy finally gets an anxiety diagnosis and treatment! hurray! - dapgo, rewind - bbc radio awards & the boncas - gamingmas

(2017): time for a rebrand

tangent - sit down!!! buckle up!!! today's lecture is on PSIs & PSRs!!!

"parasocial" as defined by the current zeitgeist

- summing up youtubers' and laypeople's opinions (not dan's) - an unfairly negative stance overall, imo

older academic literature

- the 1956 paper (yes, 1956) - with traditional celebrities - with fictional characters

current academic literature

- with youtubers and other content creators - positive effects on the audience - negative effects on the audience - broader societal implications

fandom spaces as a parasocial experience

- parasocial and truly social interactions with each other - phandom as a supportive, welcoming space for oddballs - what research i can find about neurospicy folks, + anecdotes - me and everyone else on planet earth move to discord

inherent transactionality

- the nature of celebrity - positive effects on creators - negative effects on creators

reexamining early phandom through a parasocial lens

- the good, the bad, and the ugly - the role audience demographics played in all of this - entering, exiting, and remaining in the phandom

end tangent, back to your regularly scheduled programming

vine is well and truly dead

- some had prepared to become primarily youtubers (smart) - some move to musical.ly, insta, facebook, or snap (less so)

the sun sets on danisnotonfire

- i am very normal about dan's hobbit hair, i swear. - the last dnp content before the rebrand - new apartment, new floor plan investigations

adpocalypse now

- youtube has become the village elder of platforms ---* increased scrutiny, increased responsibility ---* some youtubers had been getting away with !#$!#@% - the scandals ---* pewdiepie + logan paul ---* elsagate and being "family- friendly" (read: ad-friendly) - censorship and monetization ---* adsense revenue goes down as advertisers pull out ---* the glory days of posting whatever and making bank are over

amazingphil and ~daniel howell~

- youtube & younow content - that week in march - vacations and conventions - conjoined baking and the concept of a "soft launch" - daniel & depression → dan as a mental health advocate - truth bombs, ii announcement, rewind

(2018): the phandom vs the hiatus they told us not to worry about

interactive introverts

- "giving the people what they want" - in hindsight… - let's talk about dnp fans from the global south

youtuber burnout

- it wasn't just dan: (more examples than header fits) - the old model was simply not sustainable - newer contributing factors - research on burnout, plus personal anecdotal experience

other dan and phil content

- younow/rize lives - dan's last videos before… you know… - phil's solo content in 2018 (quiff!!) - pinof → wdapteo - the gaming channel

other stuff happening online and in the world

- youtube raises the barriers to monetization - many "pivot to video" creators are now independent - the modern youtuber's multiple streams of income - continuations of societal trends in 2016 - musical.ly becomes tiktok - notable: she-ra and the princesses of power

the hiatus™: part myth, part reality

- how long dan was actually offline - major confounder: tumblr implodes almost overnight - major confounder: perception of content density from '13-'16 - major confounder: rapidly maturing audience - major confounder: our temporal awareness is about to go way ↓↓

~ baking interlude 3: scotcheroos ~

minnesotans and their obsession with "bars"

amy has one last existential crisis (you know, to date)

(2019): demolishing the closet with a nail bat

phil videos in the first 5 months of this very important year

basically i'm gay

- my thoughts - its legacy in the canon of "coming out" stories - multiple things can be true at once

coming out to you

- my thoughts - its legacy in the canon of "coming out" stories - why phil waited (actual explanations, speculation)

amy's 2019

- return to the audience, not really to the phandom (rip tumblr) - strange coincidence that i also had a major life transition

dan and phil: still here, freshly queer

- twitter becomes the main nexus of phandom, by default - regular phil uploads + brief return to younow - vidcon

(2020): go home and stay there

so it's a goddamn global public health crisis

- infectious disease perspective - effects on overall well-being of adults - effects on kids and teenagers (sorry to all of you) - political and economic impacts

hitherto unforeseen levels of online content consumption

- tiktok replaces basically all short-form video content - yet another wave of new (otherwise unemployed) youtubers - you're watching a video essay. these got really popular now. - being young and isolated: thoughts from younger phannies

the Content™ bc that's the one word we use for this now

- phil's videos - when dan is around - that attitude magazine interview - pour one out for the phil solo project(s) the panini wrecked

further political disaster… avoided?

- checking in on the state of social issues previously discussed - unfortunately,

(2021): welcome to the 2020s, we have lingering trauma

THE PHOUSE?!?!?

- social media posts - the stereo shows

other dan and phil videos

- phil's solo videos - gay and not proud - hometown showdown - other joint videos - phil's #shorts (sounds normal in american english)

panini updates

- vaccines soon, uwu??? + entrenched misinformation - pros and cons of remote work - pros and cons of remote school - pros and cons of remote socializing

you will get through this night

- younger me really could have used this book too, dan - thoughts as a professional in a related field - reflecting on some of my more unique circumstances

daring my old school district to sue me (again!!)

- updates: racism and transphobia - updates: right-wing freaks take over the school board again - residents vote against improving mental health resources

(2022): dan returns (still not on fire)

hey so politics are um getting worse

- americans lose the right to reproductive freedom ---* the quickest of histories on where these freaks came from ---* this shit kills people. - trans kids become the punching bag of culture war discourse ---* fuck off! (gently) ---* fuck off! (i have a knife) ---* checking in on terf island

we're all doooooooooooooooomed

- dystopia daily my beloved - the style, the substance, the metatextual analysis-- - not everyone loved it, though. why? - the promo - dan on tour + sister daniel

amy's 2022

- i got covid - then i got long covid: brain fog, pots-like symptoms

some more news (i will work on my warmbo impression)

- dan joins tiktok + danisnotinteresting uploads - phil: uploading less, busy doing remote crisis management - twitter is acquired by an idiot jackass - heartstopper on netflix! ---* the show and what it means to people ---* drama (revisiting "real people can't queerbait") ---* why this has anything to do with the phandom

~ baking interlude 4: cinnamon rolls ~

- lovingly, recipe changes and corrections :) - if i have an opinion about anything, it's sweet yeasted breads

(2023): the phrenaissance

phil

- joins tiktok! - youtube uploads through september - what even is phannie tiktok. i've never used this app. help.

dystopia daily b-sides

- dan memes of 2022 - the 2023 dystopia daily episodes

amy: the doctoral candidacy process

- purgatory, privilege, poverty, and free pizza - checking in on what this is like outside the united states

pretending the panini is over

- complaining about post-adpocalypse censorship standards - honest take about "giving up" on covid - who gets the short end of the stick

the youtube algorithm is BAD and UNINTELLIGENT, actually,

- unhinged rant about not hearing about the gaming rephrival - because i was offline from other platforms. like, @amyoffline.

pov: you are a phannie (not me) on october 15th

- what i was doing on october 15th - saying goodbye forever, spooky week, and november - gamingmas - phil uploads through december

(2024): fifteen years of terrible, terrible influence

hey what the fuck is going on

- dan and phil ---* joint and phil videos ---* jokes they never would've made ten years ago ---* a collection of emotional posts about how far they've come ---* people want fun and silly content again. we'll get to why ---* nostalgia, hope, and other warm and fuzzy feelings - the phandom ---* ancient parasocial attachments, reactivated instantly ---* people are way more normal now. let's discuss why ---* tumblr vs twitter vs tiktok phandom

we're all doomed, youtube version

- my thoughts - thoughts on "dan should/shouldn't" do video essays - i can't objectively evaluate anything he makes bc [gunshots]

terrible influence tour

- legally phlonde - the concept: healing one's inner child / taking it back - we gotta talk about phannies in the global south again - no but seriously imagine it? ---*ogres are like onions, they have LAYERS ---* [placeholder for whatever does(n't) happen]

anglosphere current events once again

- the likely us tiktok ban - the tories get fired - [placeholder for whichever hell americans manifest] - witnessing genocide and feeling powerless

ffx full-circle moment to the intro of this video essay

- the night i found out they came back - why i am doing this, now with context - reflections on a nearly 15-year (parasocial) relationship

whatever youtube uploads we get during fall/december

AMY SEES TIT (nov 14)

- the vibes at the phamily reunion - buying merch to apologize for eternal ublock origin use - how much should i document?? (not during the show) - phanspiracies confirmed - atlanta confessions - favorite bits - the alternate universe where i went to tatinof and/or ii

(2025): the horrors persist, but so do we

whatever 2025 content is out while i'm still working on this

our parasocial social club

- let me be philosophytube for a second ---* every interaction has a parasocial element ---* what are we obligated to do as a phandom, actually? ---* as people who parasocially care about these two dorks? ---* what else should we be doing socially to be at our happiest? - "they're my gay uncles" vs "i'm a little in love, even now" ---* riffing about the boundary/overlap between these camps ---* sibling reads me for filth in a single text (sister daniel...) ---* at least we're all in this together

what's going to continue to draw people in

- grown adults drawing our cat whiskers back on - updates on queer/nd kids - updates on anxiety/depression rates - updates on tech and the broader environment of content - world still feels doomed

tangent - the "hard launch" and why people want it

what are people referring to, exactly

- general definition and other examples - when it comes to dan and phil - maybe they hard launched already and we just missed the memo

the ludonarrative of phandom

- if you got here early on - if you got here in the mid-2010s - if you got here after they came out - if you got here post-hiatus - final fantasy comparison: ffvii's chokehold over first-timers

a rom-com for the ages

- the tropes in play - brief tangent on the evolution of the genre - queer romantic comedies - final fantasy comparison: ffviii's plot and squall/rinoa

phriends… or…

- wholesome influence, slice-of-life - projection - final fantasy comparison: ffxv's gameplay loop, the chocobros

humans don't like ambiguity

- from a media perspective (narrative tension) - research from the hard sciences - final fantasy comparison: fanille ---* the first gay final fantasy characters, actually ---* ffxiii's character development process ---* fang and vanille in the text. brb, clawing at the walls ---* so, if anyone is looking for a phyuri au prompt…

tl;dr: reality is not fiction. make peace with not "knowing"

end tangent, back to your regularly scheduled programming

the phuture

- phil's big solo project when??? - dapg is just the joint channel now - youtube has changed since when dan last "regularly" uploaded - nothing lasts forever, and that's okay

~ baking interlude 5: ranch + pizza ~

- ranch propaganda and ranch metaphors - showing off my dough and sauce skills

conclusions

- a lot has happened in 15 years - [placeholders: don't write your conclusions before you do your research]

Proof this project can only be done in consultation with Tumblr: no other platform we're on could accommodate a post of this length and formatting detail lol

[formosusiniquis]

any cosmo girl would have known

“Oh she did it for sure.”

“Steve!”

“Ten bucks, Bobert, don't give me that look last time we agreed double or nothing.”

“No,” Nancy insists. “This isn't Murder, She Wrote or Scooby-Doo or Columbo-”

“You saw who did it in Columbo at the beginning,” Eddie reminds.

“I know it's an awful show.”

Robin and Steve remain in sync enough to each get a hand on his shoulder to keep him from getting on the coffee table to defend the only good cop show in existence.

“I'm only pointing out,” she rewinds the VHS taking it back the two or three minutes they'd talked over before stopping it completely, “that this is a movie, not a drama with a repeated format that Steve can pattern recognition into predicting.”

“You haven't seen it already, right?” Robin asks. “The one rule of Monthly Middle-Aged Movie Night is you have to pick a movie none of us have seen.”

“No, I haven't seen it already. If you'll all remember when I asked you each to go see it with me I got,” he points to each of them in turn. “‘Wouldn't you rather see Tomb Raider?’ from double VHS, prestige cinephile and ‘That's too much pink for me, baby, you know I have that intolerance, maybe Rob or Nance will go?’ from my emo-isn’t-a-phase husband. And ‘I'm a little busy with this new story, Steve,’ from Nancy, the only one of you with a real excuse.”

“Some feminist you are, Birdie.”

“I don't want to hear it from you. I watched two of the blandest men alive pursue Renee Zellweger while the screen writers tried to convince us she was homely because you ‘forgot’ you had band practice.”

“You said you liked it!”

“It grew on me, but sometimes you just want to see a woman in a tank top. And I won't be shamed by the same man who cried during Beauty and the Beast.”

“I went with my sweet baby Lucy Joan, you miserable hag,” Eddie says, “and they turned that hot werewolf into a boring looking man.”

“You weren't into that? Look at who-”

“Why am I getting made fun of? Can we finish the movie?”

“No, I'm not going to let this be another Sixth Sense situation,” Nancy says, holding the remote hostage, she knows no one will try to take it from her.

“Ugh don't even bring that up,” Eddie groans, “Dustin still mentions it in at least one letter a year.”

Nancy nods, prim and proper, “Exactly, so tell us right now why you think she did it, then we'll play it again.”

“Chutney, the daughter,” Steve corrects, “have you even been paying attention? Her hair's permed.”

“And press play,” Eddie shouts.

“No,” Robin smacks his hands as he makes his ballsy play to reach around her for the remote. “Show your work, Dingus, even I didn't follow that one.”

“I don't always like the movies everyone else picks but I at least watch them. Her hair is permed, she said she was in the shower. She would have had to have been washing her hair if she didn't hear the gunshot and she has a perm.”

“You can wash your hair with a perm,” Nancy points out.

“You would know.” Eddie snarks, fingering the ends of his own hair.

“You can't wash a fresh perm, you'll fuck up the ammonium thioglycolate. Then you're out forty bucks and you've got limp hair. She killed her dad and lied about being in the shower.”

“Press play,” Eddie decrees again, leaning in close to Steve's side to purr, “it's pretty sexy when you go all hair care detective.”

His hand starts to slip below the blanket. “This is how we ended up with Lucy in the first place,” Steve reminds him, just under the sounds of the courtroom drama picking back up. It doesn’t stop Eddie’s hand from wandering until the movie’s climax starts getting closer, and Eddie’s attention is captured just like Robin’s and Nancy’s.

“Unbelievable,” Robin says, when Elle cites the perm salt.

“Never again,” Nancy swears, when Chutney screams her confession.

“Lucy’s been asking for a brother or sister,” Eddie flirts, as Elle reveals that any good Cosmo girl could have solved it.

No more movies with mysteries or twist endings for a while, they all agree, Robin can’t afford to keep betting against Steve.

[hopelesslygaysstuff]

i have officially fallen in love with soft, emo wanda

her hating everyone but you >>>

her literally dropping anything and everything if you need her >>>

i love the idea of soft, emo wanda and reader sitting on the bed or couch and the reader is just yapping while wanda is falling in love all over again and eventually cant stop herself and crashes the reader onto the couch/bed for a make out or possible smut and i highkey imagine her looking like this

HEAVY on the hating everyone but you bc I would feel so fucking special if Wanda had a soft spot for me like YES you chose ME and I love you so much ♡

Ugh I need her green eyes to look at me with stars in them with her heavy eyeliner and her soft brown hair just laying perfectly over her shoulders while she smiles softly at me while I ramble about literally anything i can and before i realize it she's on top of me and kissing me and telling me that i'm really cute or whatever

[mystellenia]

being effortlessly loved by abby

summary: after a rough week, you begin pushing abby away, but she makes her feelings known and voices her frustration.

content: established relationship, poor self esteem, self-sabotage, perhaps allusions to depression

notes: does this count as angst yayyy first angst. i wanna write angst more. i feel like for some reason angst would come to me really quickly. like i'd be able to make stuff up and write really quick. i guess just call me emo 🖤👩🏾‍🎤

(wc 0.5k)

it's been a rough week. everything that could go wrong, did--and then some. it just felt like just when you stood up to catch your breath, the universe sent you a gift-wrapped riptide to pull you under to drown you again.

you wore an old sports t-shirt and sweatpants, only taking them off to change your underwear or drag baby wipes against your skin to try and rid it of the feeling that consumed you so wholly.

you stand at the kitchen counter, buttering the third bagel of the day to go back to bed and watch sitcoms. abby comes up behind you and perches her head on your shoulder, her hands slipping beneath your shirt to sit on your stomach.

"mmm, you smell good," she says, her words muffled by your neck. "you look so pretty right now."

her touch and her words make you grow uncomfortable, and you turn your head away in response and groan, rolling your shoulder back to push her away.

she simply looks at you with lowered brows, a worried expression on her face. "what's wrong, baby? did i do something?"

you continue your task, taking your time with responding. "i haven't showered for three days," you mumble. "why say i smell good when i don't?"

her warm hand meets the back of your arm, stroking it softly. "well, you smell good to me," she says, shrugging like it was evidently known.

rolling your eyes, you push her back with your hips and step to the side. "god, abby, i hate when you do this! i hate when you act like i’m all perfect and get all sappy on me. why are you doing that to me? doing that for me?" you snap, your face slowly melting into a grimace at the thought of her loving you.

she rears her head back, your words stinging like a smack to the face. "what do you mean, you hate when i get like this? you hate when i love you? you hate when i want to be around the person that i love?" her voice raises more as she talks, frustrated by your thinking. "why do you say that like loving you is a mistake i'm making, like it's a bad thing, like it's a poor decision?"

a sudden chill whips through the room, and you wrap your arms around your body in protection. your voice softens once more and you can't seem to meet her harsh stare. "i just don't understand why. why do you feel that way about me? i'm not-"

"what! you're not what? skinnier? prettier? nicer? god, it actually irritates me how you can't get it through your head that i love you. that i'm not leaving."

she grips your shoulders, pulling you closer to her as she continues. "i chose you, so don't fucking push me away!" her hands tighten around your shoulders and shake you a bit before she realizes what she's done, dropping them and stepping back. she notices your eyes glazing over and realizes she went too far until you slam into her, looping your arms around her neck and letting out a heavy sigh of relief.

"thank you for loving me, abby," you whisper.

she returns your embrace, grabbing either side of your face to lift it up to her and placing a kiss on the very tip of your nose. "thank you for making it so easy to love you."

this actually kind of made my stomach lurch because this is so me. reminds me of how i had this guy head over heels obsessed with me and i told him it made me uncomfortable and overwhelmed me. gosh what a fumble like i’m never getting that again, idek how i bagged him bc like there are so many pretty girls at my school and like ugh

@picklesarenice69 @paqerings

click here!! oh and here too!! ˶ᵔᵕᵔ˶

[misc-obeyme]

omg the 4th wall break asks lately have been making me think about belphie in that kinda situation hahaha i might be predictable oops

you get home from long day at work and some emo guy owns your bed, he's already made a nest and gotten a good few hours in too. you don't even have time to be scared before he starts being super entitled about it too LOL like "ugh mc, what took you so long?? ive been waiting here forever... why are you just standing there looking shocked, seriously >:v "

also i hope you're having a lovely day!! <3333 sending lots of love!!

Ahhh hello Starr!! I am having a lovely day and I hope you are, too!! 💕💕

Oh Belphie would be such a little punk lol! And I kinda think if you try to ask him how he got there, he's having none of it. Who cares about those kinda details?? He's here now and he wants your attention! If you ask him why he made the effort to find you this way, he'll blush and brush it off.

And if you're tired from working all day, you know a little bit of cuddling with Belphie will help you relax. Maybe take him outside to look at what you can see of the stars (depending on the amount of light pollution at your location), so he can point out to you how they differ from the Devildom (I just think Belphie has knowledge of the human world stars, too... like he made it a point to learn them).

I think he would help you make dinner if you're hungry, too. He probably knows a decent amount about human world food just from hanging around Beel. He might complain about it... like c'mon MC he came all the way here to see you and you're making him cook? But he'll still stir the sauce or saute the veggies...

But in the end, Belphie would want you to join him in his newly created nest in your bed. Let him cuddle you to sleep, all warm and cozy and he'll make sure you only have sweet dreams...

I'd be worried that he'd get smothered by my cat. Like that one chat photo where all the cats are super attached to Belphie and Satan's all mad about it? My cat very much likes to sleep on the same pillow as me, so I'm imagining walking in to find her sleeping on his head. I'd be concerned about his ability to breathe. Also pretty sure this would make him my cat's new favorite person lol!

[strawberry-spectre]

okay i need to hear your FULL thoughts on the spelltine comic!!!!!!

ALRIGHT LETS GOOOOOO (ill be commenting on every page of the comic so its gonna be long)

P1. I absolutely LOVE Whisp here, she's so supportive and so fun and I love how they drew her platonically kissing Valentine when he fell (also the pose she makes is the same as the one Val makes in P6 lol). Idk if the ' after some of the words Valentine says is suppose to be showing his southern accent but I love it. I also love the reference to the Eternal Body Odor pit it's so silly :,) BUT NOTHING BEATS VALENTINE DEAD ON THE FLOOR LMAO- and our queen Drac here looks GOREGOUS and I love how they gave her the pink bat necklace Clawd got her in one of the earlier webisodes its soo cute!!

P2. One of my favourite things on this page is how Valentine went from 'WOULDYOULIKETOBEFRIENDS' to 'I mean-' like its so funny how hes tryna act cool even though Draculaura alr saw how nervous he was lmao, the sparkles and sigh puff thing rly made it so much better. My other favourite on this page is Valentine stressing over that interaction with wide eyes staring into nothing with his hands covering his mouth and stray hairs everywhere, its peak fr. I love how espressive Valentine is LIKE OADFVHNAEGIRJ3GVBAGEIRBVAEIUF

P3. SPELLDON DEBUT LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! he genuinely looks so cool and cute at the same time I LOVE his purple undereye eyeshadow it looks like hes got some heavy eye bags lmao- the way Spelldons just calm and collected meanwhile Valentine is reacting to everything like its the biggest shock in his life ever is so funny and I absolutely love that dynamic. I also love how many necklaces Spelldons got on its so him. My favourite line from this page is 'it's gonna be dead in a few days, like my soul' like ok emo- ITS SO FUNNYDIJVBIEAVGAERU I LOVE HIM SM- I love complaining Valentine hes so silly :,) the way he exaggerates everything is so ugh <3333

P4. ngl when I read 'magician' I immediately thought of the ones in circuses with the pulling bunnies out of a top hat kind and I was so confused- and that look on Spelldons face?? bro knew that he's gonna get dragged into some craaaazy shenanigans. I love how Spelldon expresses his emotions through his eyes but Valentine expresses it through body language. Spelldon trying to talk Valentine out of the potion with him defending the idea is so cute like lover's quarrel before the lover's <33

P5. Bro Valentine talks so much his speech bubbles take up half the page lmao- butttttt I am slightly concerned about the bat wings in the back of the store... but thats nothing compared to the skulls and bones?? ig it makes sense since its MH but I'm still cry-laughing about it :,)) idk what the word is (sarcastic or sassy or smth) BUT SPELLDON'S REPLIES R MY FAVOURITE THINGS EVERRRR 'are you doubting my potion-crafting ability?' 'not in biteology' 'you're really good at that' LIKE UGHHHIFUVHBSIETRBI HES SO FIVBEIRUBNVARIE. Not them planning a date while shopping- also wtf is that Elissabat cutout?? what did they do to her :,0000 (the Murktail sign next to it is giving foreshadowing)

P6. AHHHHHH I LOVE THEM ICE SKATING SMMM AND AS ALWAYS SPELLDON IS ROCKING IT WHILE VALS JUST TRYING TO SURVIVE FJVAEIFVBIEUR HAHAHAHA but you know what's better??? VALENTINE FALLS AND THEY FALL TOGETHERRRRR AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THEY MAKE ME SO SICK I LOVE THEM SM- FIVJBARI first time we see Spelldon lose his cool like damn- WITH THE FIREWORKS TOO AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (Spelldon I see your hand hovering over Valentine, its okay ;))!!!!! I love the layout for this page and P7 sm its so fun to look at and theres so much colours!! and the implication that Val and Spell went 'borrowing' the guy's 'authentic himalayan ice malt' is so SCDFVGBNHJMK AND THAT LOOK THEY GAVE EACH OTHER ORIHVNSIERBNG

P7. NOT THEM FLIRTING AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THEY MAKE ME WANNA KMS THEYRE SO SWEET- AND VALENTINES PULLING OUT THE FULL NAME- 'you take me to the nicest places, Spelldon Cauldronello' with that U-U face and that clasped hands okay I see you Val, I see you. Favourite thing from this page? def the expectation vs reality chibi, ITS SO CUTEEEEE SPELLDON WANTING TO PROTECT VALENTINE MAKES ME ASCEND TO HEAVEN AND VALENTINE WORRYING OVER SPELLDON IRL TAKES ME THERE- Spelldon confirming that Valentine's accent is bad is so real bro when I watched the movie for the first time I was like '...he's southern??' BUT, THAT LINE 'you don;t do it with me' IS SO SXCDVFGBNHJM like Mr Cauldronello are you jealous?? its okay you can tell me <33 Valentine thinking a fake southern accent made him cooler and added to his ~mystique~ is so SDCFVGB hes so silly :,)) (I thought they forgot to draw Valentine's irises in the scene after bc I didn't realise he was looking up lmao)

P8. Valentine trying to diverge the convosation is so real bro like dw Spelldon knows you don't actually want to make all your emotions go poof, BUT ITS STILL SUCH A CUTE SCENE LIKE HES FINALLY COME TO THE REALISATION THAT LOVE ISNT ALL THAT BAD- crying :,) and when he started to explain how he likes hanging out w Spelldon, how he's glad that what happened happened, and the 'maybe I don't want to give that up yet' UGHHHHHHH MY HEART LEGIT FLUTTERED DCFVGBHNJM AND IT WAS SUCH A HEARTFELT SCENE AND I SCREAMED SO LOUD INTERNALLY and then Spelldon drinks it lmao- like yes! have your future bf worry for a few seconds before going haha jk! love it Spelldon's so CDVFGBNH i love him sm :,))

P9. 'you really think I was going to let you excise your emotions like that?' SPELLDON I LOVE YOU- THATS SUCH A COOL LINE BRO IXJNIJFVNSIUFVBNJDFC and then he hits Val with the 'someone you cared about' line LIKE THEY MAKE ME FEEL SO SINGLE IM HURT- SPELLDON BASICALLY ADMITTED THAT HE CARES ABT VALENTINE AND YES IT WAS OBVIOUS BUT THERES JUST SOMETHING ABT SAYING IT THAT JUST HITS DIFFERENT YKNOW?? ugh I need Spelltine to be my new heart I dont want my human heart anymore :,0. AND THE WAY VALENTINE GRABBED SPELLDON'S SHIRT AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH the way they looked at each other and the confession of feelings and everything and OH MY GODS THE 'maybe we can make sure it's not working...?' GODS, GODS, GODS- WE?? THE SLIGHT HESITATION?? THE FACES ONLY 10 CM AWAY FROM EACH OTHER??? your honor, they kissed. FUCK- CAN YOU TELL THAT I LOVE THIS PAGE?? THEYRE SO SWEET- KMS-

P10. THE. HAND. GRAB. gosh I can't deal with them- VALENTINE TAKING SPELLDON'S HAND WITH BOTH HIS HANDS IM SICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK THEYRE SO SWEET- AND SPELLDON STILL HAS THE ROSE FROM VALENTINESERXDTFCYGUH oh lords they're everything- AND SPELLDON LOOKS AT VALENTINE WITH SUCH SOFT EYES WHEN WILL I HAVE WHAT THEY HAVE?? 'hmm somethings different about you, kieran valentine', Draculaura, he's come to terms with his emotions, he's made peace with the past and present, hes got an amazing bf, hes finally got that happiness, yep, very different :,DDDD

I love this so much it's the perfect ending, PERFECT. I literally can't even describe how much I love it with the 'and stop holding your hand?', the entire 'well i uh think it'll be cool if you met her- if you wanna thay is' text and EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING IS PERFECTION. ABSOLUTE P E R F E C T I O N. AND THE WAY VALENTINE LEANS AGAINST SPELLDON AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHO NEEDS THERAPY WHEN YOU'VE GOT THIS???? AND SPELLDON BLUSHING IS SO CUTEEEEEE THEYRE SO CUTEE gods I need help-

summary: they are so damn sweet, the comic layout is so good, the emotions was perfect, everything is perfect, I'm gonna die from happiness overload, I feel like a proud mother seeing them finally be together its WSERDTFGYUH if i die and im not holding this under my crossed arms then im not dying fr

thank u for the ask!!

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - It's weird where I am right now, Okay?

Organized, in each category, by ones I'm enjoying most at the top. However, I've put quite a few on hold for travel reasons.

Oct 2023 Wk 4

Only a few screen shots for you this week, my hotel wifi is actually THAT bad.

Ongoing Series - Thai

My Dear Gangster Oppa (Thurs iQIYI) 1 of 8 - Classic unlucky in love failed crush on straight bestie = both v queer and v emo yaoi. I gotta say I like these actors way better in this than their previous series, and maybe that’s because Tew is more like Tul and I just like Meen better when he’s… erm… mean. All of which is to say, this is off to a wonderful start and I am about to lose my very sleep deprived little mind... ready for a ABL ecstasy rant?

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH I CAN'T EVEN.

"I play support because that way everyone is happy to see me show up," might be the single best moment of characterization BL has EVER seen.

Look here, in the grand cornucopia of BL universes this is my metaverse. It's pulp... but relatively high production. It has an established pair that I know I like... but who were given crap before. It's a tidy little script, it's not gonna run too long, and it's ALL the archetypes and tropes I love but rarely see. It's Japan's style otaku plus Korea's style gangster, Thailand's style friendship group, and it arrived out of NOWHERE. It's Korea's IP & money, Thailand's talent, and China's streaming service.

Do we know what the hell is going on?

No we do not.

Do we care when it's this much fun?

No we do not.

(In this I speak for everyone... no, EVERYONE.)

This show I why I got into BL.

Don't bother me with trifles. Me and My Dear Gangster Oppa are sailing off into the infinite pixilated sunset together, thank you very much.

Dangerous Romance (Fri YT) ep 11 of 12 - I managed to watch most of it on low rez before YT "discovered" I was in Asia and therefore could not be allowed to watch Asian shows. (AKA my VPN failed me.) But it seemed like a good ep.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) Lucky Love ep 10 of 24 - I enjoyed this 2 part installment, it’s a bit of a sad sack recovery SAGA, but the acting is genuine, the couple believable, and the story felt particularly queer to me. 7/10 but close to an 8. It was really quite charming.

However: Next week looks not good on many levels - it's horror and I spotted guitar. Which is even more horrific. 

Absolute Zero (Thai Weds iQIYI) ep 5 of 12 - do temporal paradoxes exist in Thailand? That is the question. I gotta say Tor (Ongsa) is carrying this show and is doing a really great job, it's just the story itself doesn't resonate with me. Ugh it's so sad.

Is it, indeed, better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

We only on ep 5 and had a full story arc already, there is A LOT more to go.

Venus in the Sky (Tues iQIYI) 9 of 10 eps - the fact that in losing Sky Venus also lost his surrogate family explains his resulting bitterness a little bit more. I wish we had gotten this back story much earlier. Still stupid pulp made me cry, which of course means it's back in my good books. This story is slow as fuck, but I'm going on a rollercoaster with it.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Kiseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan Tues Viki & iQIYI) ep 11 of 13(?) - I love them, okay? All of them. This is a great sappy classic Taiwanese BL and it is my baby and you can’t take it away from me. MINE. 

You Are Mine (Taiwan Fri Viki) eps 8 of 10 - oh noes it got sad, I thought they would at least would have had drunken sex before the drama. Sigh. Still the kissing was good, as it should be from Taiwan.

If It’s With You AKA Even If I Fall In Love With You AKA Kimi to nara Koi wo Shite Mite mo’ (Japan Gaga) ep 4 of 5 - Amane is so brave. About being gay. Being out. Confessing. Its admirable if scary. Otherwise this ep was pretty slow. 

Bump Up Business (Korea Gaga) 3-4 of 8 - how do I feel about this show? Conflicted. Are OnlyOneOf doing a great job? Yes, actually. Am I enjoying it? No, not really. Is this anyone's fault? I don't think so.

The little linguistic negotiation was cute tho. And we seem to have gotten idols kissing in a BL both in the same group, so that glass ceiling dildo has finally been broken.

NineMill are unexpectedly good, also KB plays a great evil ex. Of the 3, I think only Nine is good enough to go into acting permanently (but he's not tall enough). Still, all hail OnlyOneOf... kings of the "gay concept." You boys make me v nervous but as couple-branding goes, you just out branded Thailand. Mad props baibies. Legit never thought I'd see the day.

Trust Korea to be in it to win it.

Mr Cinderella 2 (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 6 of ? - i pretty much just forgot to watch this.

It's Airing But...

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Fri grey) ep 8 of 12 - I will try to watch and do a series review in November but... not sure I will be able to. Fingers crossed.

Love in Translation (Sat iQIYI) ep 8fin - completed but I couldn't catch the last ep, my final thoughts in Nov.

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 12 fin - completed, but see afore mentioned YT issues. I'll review it in Nov. I anticipate better internet soon.

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - I find this series more fun to binge, so I'm waiting until it completes its run.

I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan Tues Netflix-Japan & ????) - in classic JBL fashion, I Cannot Reach You could not be reached. 

Can I Buy Your Love From A Vending Machine? AKA Sono Koi, Jihanki de Kaemasu ka? (Japan cinema release in-country only) - This one is a movie from Japan so in customary fashion who tf knows when (or if) it will get international distribution. Salaryman Ayumu Koiwai just can't tear his eyes away from the strong, muscular man as he checks on the stocks of the vending machine in his office.

One Room Angel (Japan Gaga) - adaptation of Harada’s manga of the same name (which I did not like) about a convenience store clerk who's stabbed, nearly dies, and returns home to find an angel waiting for him. With only 5 eps and a good chance this won’t end happy, I'm gonna wait and let you tell me how it goes.

Next Week Looks Like This

Upcoming October BL

10/31 SHADOW (Thai Gaga) 1 of 14 - this is a horror BL featuring ghosts and other paranormal elements in a high school setting. I'm not wild about Thai horror (or horror at all). It features Singto (who did paranormal BL He's Coming to Me) opposite Fluke N (who's done a couple horror's before). Also Fiat. Dan suffers from sleep paralysis, and in his dreams he sees a shadow that suffocates him. It gets worse when he transfers schools.

Upcoming November BL

11/3 Twins the series (Thailand ????) 1 of 10

11/17 Pit Babe (Thai) - Pavel my love!

11/19 Bake Me Please (OhmFluke but not, Thailand)

11/22 7 Days Before Valentine (Thailand) - horroresk

11/25 The Sign (Thailand) - horroresk

11/30 For Him the series (Thailand) - high heat

VIP Only (Taiwan) - may be delayed/canceled

Cooking Crush (OffGun, Thailand) - may be delayed, there some kinda gossip/rumor/shade happening at GMMTV

Wuju Bakery AKA Space Bakery (Korea) - this one may be DOA

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

My Universe - I just enjoyed the angle of this kiss shot.

Uh huh. Sure, honey. (Bump Up Buisness)

COULD THIS EXPLAIN THE SNUFFLE KISS?!!!!

(Last week)

[slay00ryu]

If you’re into it, maybe Misaki x reader right? And Misaki gets a request to assassinate reader, and the person who requested the assassination is Reader’s rich ™️ ex boyfriend ?? 🤔 I haven’t done misaki’s route yet so unsure if this can be done DBDJJSJS if it’s not, dw about it hehe

I’ll do a signature this one time bc u know who I am anyway -lostboi

Headless lover.

Misaki was in their room, looking at their computer screen with a widespread smile. They just hang up from a call with you. Somehow that simple call with their friend who chose to stay anonymous brought them a lot of ease, even with all the new "job offers" piling up for them.

Being an assassin wasn't easy, they would be lying if they said that they like the job.They hate it. It stresses them out, gives them nightmares sometimes. But it's the easiest work to get a good enough pay in. They need to help their parents, they need to support them, or what child would they be?

Luckily you were there, never expecting anything from them, showing kindness, sharing some silly moments. Your company was truly relaxing, even more than the other server's members. You never expected anything from them, didn't talk about killing as much as Ronin did, didn't talk about not having enough time because of your work. You were just there with them, laughing like an idiot at Misaki's jokes, never asking about anything they'd not want to talk about. She really appreciated you for that, being able to behave like a stupid teenager was something Misaki needed, and you were a friend ready to let her act however she liked.

'Time to look at these offers." They sighed, opening the messages they received. Cheating husbands, politicians, wives, people endangering someone's shady business. The list was never ending, the deeper they looked the more risky the gigs were. Risk means more money, but they didn't want to take on a president or another person who would end up as big numbers in their bank account, no matter how good the pay. So they looked for a while longer until one of the requests looked easy enough.

'Kill my ex. They're a total loner, no friends, no family, easy kill. Just fucking get rid of them. Here's the info you would need [link], send proof and I'll give you a lot of money. XYZ' Short and simple. very different from their regular clients. With a long sigh and hope that it wasn't the police who tries to get their ass put into jail, they clicked the link. A wall of text with a lot of pictures attached to it was in front of them now.

"F/N L/N huh? Really a loner, sits in front of their computer and tries writing. Seems easy enough." They murmured to themselves as they looked through the pictures. "it's such a shame, they do have a pretty face." Misaki never felt bad for their targets, well most of them deserved to die, or Misaki just stopped giving a damn. But with this kill, something felt different. It's like their brain was telling them not to take it, there was no reason for the kill, just an order and a promise for payment worth the task at hand.

They sighed, maybe it was just their guilt playing tricks on them? They shouldn't get emotionally connected with the targets, it was dangerous for them, and only made the work harder. They just needed to suck it all up and do what they do the best, kill them.

Ding!

A sound came from the Slaughter House server, they clicked on the main channel and noticed that Ronin was dropping his emo act again.

goreboy: hey Losers how're y'alls sad little Existences going? hitmeuppp: good before i saw my new job T_T user: How bad is it? :o Angelic: Don't worry Misaki, I'm sure you'll do great ♥ hitmeuppp: awww i love how you cheer me into murder hitmeuppp: but to answer you @user hitmeuppp: it's just someone trying to get their ex killed ugh user: Ew poor you </3 goreboy: damn And i thought That i was the psycho Angelic: Because you are ^^

They chuckled as they watched to topic change into Ronin being a total psycho, yeah maybe they all were murderers, but they still felt like family. A family full of psychopaths for sure.

user: Hey, you okay in there Misaki?

They perked up when they saw your dm, finally they could chat with you again! Of course they're not picking favourites!!!

hitmeuppp: y'know just the usual anxietyyyy haha user: man :/ well if you want we can hop on vc!

And Misaki took that offer very eagerly, they loved talking to you, your voice and way of speaking was just making them forget about the blood staining their hands, the blood they will never be able to wash off.

A few days passed, Misaki was slowly getting ready for their job… Jesus how fucked up it sounds, killing someone as a job… Well it was too late for them to regret it.

They were on top of a building, their gun held firmly in their hands.

"Deep breath Misaki, just like Y/N told you to." They whispered to themselves as they looked at their target.

They were seated by a desk, writing mindlessly on their computer, completely unaware of the danger they were in. Misaki had to do it quickly so she wouldn't let the guilt eat her from inside. Normally they wouldn't feel so bad, but this person was innocent, they looked them up so many times, nothing. No murder under their name, no crime or shitty behaviour, just a regular person with a pretty boring life. Something Misaki could be jealous of, they'd dream of a life like theirs, maybe minus the part of their ex wanting them dead.

With their breath held back, they bulled the trigger. The shot breaking through the window, then hitting their head. Blood splashed everywhere, probably dirtying their computer screen. Misaki watched them fall from the chair, their head damaged severely. Now they just had to collect their stuff and quickly go back to their place, dm user and forget about this kill… Like that was fucking possible.

The next few days felt so weird. Misaki texted user everyday but there was no reply, they were offline, no one in the server knew what it was about. Some thought that they ended up in jail and some thought that they were a police agent who will send the cops at them. Misaki was unsettled, they didn't buy you being someone sent by the police, it wouldn't make sense, you were too open about yourself. Yeah maybe you didn't share your face or legal name, but Angel didn't either!

hitmeuppp: hey… i just killed them… [01.12 1:22 AM] hitmeuppp: you won't believe what crazy dream i had! [02.12. 3:33 AM] hitmeuppp: maybe you're asleep? [02.12 4:55 AM] hitmeupp: no you're usually awake at this hour. [02.12. 05:05 AM] hitmeuppp: they really paid me a lot for that ex [03.12 3:57 PM] hitmeuppp: they really had to hate the [03.12 3:58 PM] hitmeuppp: are you… okay? [05.12 12:12 AM] hitmeuppp: user??? [11.12. 4:44 PM]

They were going crazy, texting you everyday, but there was no answer from you. They began to believe that maybe you really did work with the cops… Oh how they wished that was the case.

goreboy: [https://writer_found_assassinated_in_their_home] goreboy: well Now we know Why the newest killer Is so silent goreboy: they're Dead

What.

No. No.

They clicked on the url, it had to be someone else, you were someone else…

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no…." Misaki started to shake their head when they saw the pictures.

It was the same person. The same person they killed, but something was different… Their head, it was… it wasn't connected to their body. Someone went there after Misaki killed th… after they killed you. And that's when they remembered, that ex, they had no way of knowing that you were dead until the news posted about it. They did it.

Misaki's felt so dizzy, the world was blurry in front of their eyes. They killed you. It's their fault that you're gone now.

It's their fault that you ended up like this.

If only they didn't take that fucking job…

[h0n3y-b33z]

Wrote something from what a friend said.

What said friend said was this:

Ink or Blue: “Dream! We need you to help save the multiverse again!”

Emo Dream: “YOU’RE NOT MY DAD, I DON’T HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU. *EMO MUSIC*”

So I wrote a fanfic off of it. Or is it considered a one shot???

The sirens are blaring, there's dust every where, knives and bones in many piles off dust. The feeling of the place is suffercacting and dark, like being trapped and water boarded.

It felt like if hell had frozen over.

"ugh booossss! You said we'd have fun!" Killer complains like an impatient child. Nightmare, to whom the assassin had been talking to, taps his foot impatiently, where are they? Those damned stars should be here already. "Shut your damn mouth Killer." Nightmare angrily demands of his servent. "You said we'd get to fight the stars! An' I don' see 'em!" Killer continues on, Murder and Horror walking up to the two now. The swirling sound of a portal opening catches their attention, a sadistic grin returning to Killer's face. "Finally! been itchin' for a fight." the assassin says as he and his teammates ready themselves.

The golden portal forms, opening and letting the Bad Sanses see their enemy

Wait it's just Swap?

The skeleton who resides in the au Underswap steps through the portal, his hammer at the ready and eyebags under his sockets. His expression holds irritation. "Underswap Sans, to whom do we owe the pleasure?" Nightmare greets the short but surprisingly chubby skeleton with a dark voice. "all alone? Did your 'friends' finally leave you?" He chuckles darkly, his singular eyelight never going away from Swap. In response to this, the star sans looks at Nightmare then at the portal. "one second...." he says and quickly rushes through, leaving the Bad guys confused.

Swap returns, helping Ink drag Dream out of the portal. Dream, dispite usually the brightest, looks unbothered and irritated, wearing a red and black stripped hoodie, ripped jeans and army boots. Another detail that can be noticed is that he has heavy black makeup applied to his eyes. Dispite what many may think, the guardian of positivite emotions is infact heavy dispite his small stature and body. The bad guys can hear Ink trying to convince Dream to fight.

The guardian mumbles, not truly caring. "speak up Dream! We cannot hear you" Ink says, tired and yet energetic. Swap nods, annoyed. The negativity was delicious in Nightmare's opinion. Dream shoves his friends away and stands up, irritated. The bad guys wonder what the hell is going on with the usually joyful Dream. "i said: everyone's gonna die anyway so what is the point?"

Oh.

Oh no.

Ink gasps dramatically, his hand to his chest. Swap sighs and turns towards Nightmare. "Could ya give us a minute? I'm so sorry"

He says. Dream groans. "don't apologize to them."

He says, his arms crossed. Killer now notices that dream is in gosh darn Gucci. What the hell is going on. Horror is so confused and Murder is just staring as Ink begins to lecture Dream on safety and kindness.

"you're not my dad! So don't act like it you soulless slime." Dream says, taking his headphones off his neck and putting them on, the music being so loud that the bad guys can hear it clearly.

Swap groans "Well I technically am so help us or so help me I will take away your make up and make sure you do not go to sephora or whatever it's called!" he says, taking away Dream's headphones. Killer burst out laughing, this was the beat sht he's seen all week, well maybe besides Nightmare falling into glitter. "oh my gosh! Dream's turned emo! This is funking gold!" Ink nods "yeah! And Swap is terrible at being a dad!"

Swap is about to snap back when Nightmare yells out "WHAT THE FUNK!?" It was safe to say that Nightmare was royally shocked, or pissed. Could be either with the guy.

The groups were silent, except Killer whom was still dying from laughter as this was comedy to him. "Sephora?! Why the *hell* would you allow him to go to that hell dump!? I'm am absolutely disgusted in you Dream! You're supposed to be the better twin!" Dream looks at his brother, and with zero expression says this: "why are you an anime sex genre?" silence. Absolute silence.

[cheerioo]

(in a hs/modern au) I am a firm believer in weird kid louis and weird kid clementine‼️‼️ And vi too!! Like first off Violet would def be emo in my book, Louis obviously a band/choir kid, and like.. clementine? Like she's always been a little weird, this girl licked a salt block in a barn once, and said some out of pocket things all around

I just don't see any of them being jocks/the athletic popular type in a lot of the aus ppl make 😭 no hate obvi, when writing a character it's more about making them do something and make it be believable than finding something they'd cannonly do, because a lot of the time it'd be boring to those who read the fics

But at the same time I NEED weird kid x weird kid ugh, I'm more clouis than valentine but like wlw ships are always gonna have a soft spot in my heart so I wouldn't even mind that 😞😞 I love them all sm I just love this game, this is lowkey a shitpost but idc

[elliespuns]

Ugh bro thinking about how things ended with Joel and Ellie is so upsetting I see a sad tik tok edit of them and I’m DONE FOR. Like for years Ellie was so upset at him and then when they were FINALLY GOING TO WORK THINGS OUT HE DIED IN THE WORST WAY IN FRONT OF HER. It actually makes me so upset and ik they aren’t real people but it really feels like they are. Like Joel lost his daughter and then finally opened up after decades with Ellie and refused to lose her like Sarah. And then Ellie is so hurt by him when she finds out the truth and he like loses her for years and then Ellie’s finally ready to work things out and then she loses HIM AHHHHHH KMS

saddest shit ever bro I cannot. And the fact that Joel got so different in Jackson bc he was safe and it seems like he went back to the man he always was/wanted to be. His death is just so upsetting to me (prob one of the most upsetting fictional character deaths) and it’s fr the reason why I haven’t played the second game yet bc idk if I can see that shit happen bc then that makes it REAL

Like he was tortured to death and killed in front of Ellie I canttttt😭😭😭 he never even got to meet JJ bro. And he probably never thought he would ever have the chance to be a grandfather after losing Sarah but he basically became one except it was after he died and he never got to experience that joy.

Sorry for being hella emo but the last of us story really gets me in my feels💀

"Ik they aren't real people, but it really feels like they are." girl... they are real people. At least for me. Too real to not get upset about their sadness. I'm as delusional, yes, but it's so liberating. I love my babies.

"And the fact that Joel got so different in Jackson bc he was safe, and it seems like he went back to the man he always was/wanted to be." yes. He let his guard down because he was once again the man he used to be pre-apocalypse. A vulnerable girldad whose only goal is to make his girl happy. People hate this fact about Joel, but I love it.

"And he probably never thought he would ever have the chance to be a grandfather after losing Sarah, but he basically became one except it was after he died and he never got to experience that joy." 😭😭😭 okay I'm leaving now...

[greenhaired-gremlin]

rewatching HH pt 3

WEE DAD BEAT DAD MY SECOND FAVORITE EPISODE LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO

the intro is a bop tho. i literally never skip it

Charlie having an unhealthy sleep schedule is so real

"Kill everyone?' real honestly

"you got daddy issues?" his smirk I'm dead

EMO CHARLIE

LUCIFER MY MENTALLY ILL NEURODIVERGENT LOML

the scripting before answering is so real

niffty in the background just chilling (literally acting like Alastor)

Pen's (i can't spell his name help) fuckin OwO face constantly

"TAKE THAT DEPRESSION" real

Al plotting

LUCI GREETING ALL THE CREATURES MAKES ME SO HAPPY "KEEKEE" OWO

AL: meets literal king of hell - immediately insults him

Luci canonly being the first person to make Al say the fuck word

the roaches fucking while Charlie is showing Luci the parlor

ok you can't tell me Luci didn't realize Vaggie was an angel like halfway through and just didn't say anything

Hell's Greatest Dad is such a vibe. Luci's little spin im sjhbdhjsd

DEVIL WENT DOWN TO GEORGIA REFERENCE (its funny cause i live in Georgia hehe)

"sadly there are times a birth parent is a dud" can confirm

Husk's face when Mimzy shows up he rlly is just like "fuck this bullshit"

Alastor is very annoyed by Mimzy you can tell. in the back he's just like -v-

THE BEEZLEJUICE SIGN IN THE BACKGROUND GHSBYGASDYG

WOO ALASTOR LORE

okay so its implied that Alastor killed most, if not all, of the overlords when he showed up, but Zestial and Carmilla are known to have BEEN THERE FOR A WHILE... so im curious if he knew he couldn't kill them or if they made an unofficial deal

okay i love Al as a character but husk and his convo scene makes me so mad

al is terrifying

THE JAZZ AS AL WALKS AWAY

husk shaking like a cat i have so many headcanons for husk rn (lmk if anyone wants them...)

HOLY SHIT WHEN LUCI'S TALKING ABOUT HEAVEN VAGGIE LOOKS AWAY GUILTILY

vaggie speaking Spanish

HUSK JUST -_- this entire episode is so relatable

PEN SAVING NIFFTY

okay but the doubling voice when Al uses his power. makes brain go brrr

Charlie: defending Al

Al: literally dropping a loan shark down his throat in the back

Al being done with Mimzy is so important to me. probably gonna post a full thing on it cause it's actually a really vital thing

Husk and Angel eating popcorn. me too besties

More Than Anything hits me right in the daddy issues i literally almost cried that first time i watched it.

okay but Lilith taking Charlie away? i really think there's something between Luci and Lilith that we don't know bc like... what?

"I've missed that smile" IJHWBUYSHYBYHS

"I'm grateful you're my daughter/father" UGH RLLY CALLING MY DADDY ISSUES OUT

PROUD DAD PROUD DAD PROUD DAD PROUD DAD PROUD-

Vaggie at the end is just like oh fuck