#u know in video games. when sometimes there are levels where you're the guy on the ground and there's another guy telling you where to go ?

[ru5t]

@peranarkia //> Open Waves.

"Incoming broadcast to line K03... If any generous 'joys are out there..." A voice whispers through the static across a radio line that they pray reaches zones four and five. "The robotics field in zone 2... I'm hiding... Too many to fight alone. If anyone, anyone, can come and lend help, I'll make a fair trade when we both make it out alive... Please..."

  The dusty crackle almost passes right on by her, sprinting through signals as she is. It's a broad scan. The kind she sets up to combat the empty silence of the open desert, never really stopping on anything in particular but weaving through one frequency to the next, generating a stream of babble. So much idle noise that, funnily enough, what stands out is a quiet whisper.

  Tech sets her book aside to grab for the transmitter, hastily shuffling back to live line. At first it seems empty, some stretch of quiet static. Then it kicks up again. The call brings a tilt to her head the new voice on the end of he line can't see, of course. It's not often than an SOS goes down a locked line — then up come the words robotics field and suddenly it all makes sense. She locks in to transmit back.

  “You gotta be the luckiest unlucky bastard I ever ran across,” she opens, bypassing hello's and oh no's entirely. She knows the bot dump like an old pair of boots knew who broke 'em in. Including the part where if they catch you there they absolutely swarm. No fighting that, short of being bulletproof or going out with a bang and just so many bullet holes. “If you're already pinned there's no way I could get there fast enough, but here's the lucky part— I'm more use t'you all the way out here anyhow.” Multi-taking ahoy; while running it down, she drags her bag close and hauls out the rest of her gear, the transmitter pinned between he shoulder and cheek so she use both hands. “Now. Next time it won't get you ghosted straight off you poke your head outta whatever hidey-hole you're in an' tell me how close you are to that reeeeaaal tall stack, the one with the long yellow beam stuck out of it. ..Looks like it's givin' you the finger?”

[icycoldninja]

Hello!! Can I request for a platonic one for the Sparda bros with Nero and V? Like what if the twin have a younger sister who got most of their mom’s features, but still as strong as them. She’s kinda like Nero, stubborn, reckless, but has a big heart and like the twin she got an obsession with video games

Please n thank u 🙏

Yes, of course! Enjoy 💜

Sparda boys + V x Reader platonic headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

-Dante is reminded of you guys' mom every time he looks at you. You're basically a younger clone of Eva, which is both a good thing and a bad thing, because as much as he loves his mother, he is reminded of everything that happened when he looks at you.

-Dante trained you to be as strong as he is, (Vergil helped too) and is glad you turned out to be a badass devil hunter just like the rest of your family.

-Dante loves you, as any big brother does, but, being your sibling, he is obligated to argue with you at least twice a day.

-Will steal your food when you're not looking, especially if it's pizza.

-Sometimes your arguments turn into full on wrestling competitions where the victor usually isn't clear for several hours.

-However, Dante will always be around to play games with you when you want him to.

■ Vergil ■

-Vergil is that overprotective older brother that scares away all your friends and potential dates cause he doesn't trust them.

-He takes very good care of you because you remind him of his mother, whom he failed to protect. He'll make up for it now by protecting you.

-He'll train you to be a swordswoman who is at least half as good as he is so if you're ever in danger and he's not around to help, you can defend yourself.

-You are the only person who can get between him and Dante and stop a fight without getting injured or called deadweight in the process.

-Still, as siblings are inclined to do, you guys still fight a lot, usually over menial things. For instance, Vergil will insist you misplaced his copy of William Blake, you'll deny it, an argument starts, Vergil rises from his seat in anger, discovers he was sitting on it the entire time, and sits back down sulkily as you give him the silent treatment. About an hour later you'll be back on speaking terms.

-Doesn't know how to play video games because he's your boomer bro, but he won't object to being taught.

□ Nero □

-Nero finds you to be the cool aunt, though you're really more like his best friend since you have less of an age gap.

-Plays video games with you all day, every day, whenever you want.

-Is amazed that you have the power to stop an argument or fight between Dante and Vergil and that they actually listen to you.

-It must be because you look like their mom, Nero reasons, and he's right. Also, the fact that you look almost like a carbon copy of Eva means that Nero gets a chance to bond with his grandma and aunt at the same time.

-Loves to spar with you to test your strength and see how well Dante and Vergil trained you.

-Is really more fond of you than he is of his own dad.

● V ●

-V, being the human half of Vergil, knew who you were and had some level of familiarity towards you, but carried none of the brotherly love Vergil had.

-Because the memories he gained from Vergil are somewhat fuzzy, he mistook you as Eva herself when he first saw you and had to do a double take. Then when he saw you and Trish standing side by side, he thought the two of you were twin sisters.

-Does not know what video games are as he's only ever read poetry, but with your guidance, he might learn...someday...when he finally understands that the controller is not magic and that the TV is not a window to another universe...

-Is very glad you're as strong as the Sparda twins because his condition warrants a bodyguard, ashamed as he is to admit it. You, the younger sibling, must now protect her older brother's human half because said human half is trying to protect you.

-V cares for you, and even though he doesn't see you as his sister, he does see you as a very dear friend.

-He will divulge Vergil's secrets to you, and also spill the beans on how this MOTIVATED man feels about his baby sister so you can use it to tease him later.

[ugh-yoongi]

Congratulations on the milestone!✨✨

I wanted to request a bts headcanon! There was this one trend on tiktok last year that was like “you’re not dating but you’re not just friends either” lol so I guess like a bts in a situation type of thing? Thank you thank you! 💕

tysm!

i know exactly what trend you're talking about and i was never sure if that was supposed to be, like, an actual situationship or like that more cutesy in-between crush & dating stage so i'll try to do both.

once again tag teamed this with @hot-soop bc i have no original thoughts.

come tell me how wrong i am :)

headcanons: bts in a situationship

seokjin —

has the least situationship energy out of all of them imo. mr. domestic king of commitment probably wouldn't be able to handle the uncertainty of it, but could be convinced if the other party wasn't ready/didn't want to commit.

(let's be real, it's impossible to not be in love with him, so [rihanna voice] good luck with booking that situationship u speak of.)

thinks he's being chill and in actuality is being the least chill person alive. red ears & neck 25/8.

does the "let's just play one more round of mario kart" con until the next thing you know it's 2am and the only way you're getting home is an overpriced rideshare, so whoops, might as well stay over, what would you like for breakfast?

strikes me as the type that'd be similar in that in-between stage, too, but way more acts of service.

picnics in the park, polaroid pictures of things that remind him of you, beats that video game level you're stuck on without you even having to ask, rambles on and on about his webtoons, chill weekends spent together at home.

yoongi —

completely down for a situationship. might be made for it, actually. you don't even need to ask.

however. realizes he's Emotionally Compromised and has his "oh shit wait what the fuck" moment months in. good luck sorting that mess out!

yoongi: it is very obvious i have feelings for this person and it is very obvious where we stand with one another.

also yoongi: disappears for a week bc of work and doesn't say a word.

also also yoongi: casually shows up at 3am and wants to hang out like disappearing without a word wasn't at all weird and confusing as fuck.

also also also yoongi: has the nerve to be confused when you call it off because he doesn't seem interested.

spends the next few months overthinking literally everything and reappears with a wall of text detailing everything he likes about you.

in that more cutesy in-between: playlists, "do you wanna hear what i've been working on?", open the door please it's 1am and yoongi's outside with takeout, absolutely giddy when he gets to teach you about his interests.

hobi —

can't see him being all that different from the way he'd be in an actual relationship, tbh, which is both a blessing and a curse.

a f f e c t i o n a t e

(but is it "i like you and want to be with you" affection or "i do this with literally everyone there is no way to tell if it's something more" affection?)

king of overcommunicating! good morning texts, phone calls before bed, memes and silly pictures throughout the day.

wants to trade ootd pics. sends you one everyday even if you don't reciprocate. pouts for days if you playfully roast his fit, but sometimes he needs someone to be honest about those questionable shoes he wears.

somehow knows literally every person to exist. has a friend who works at that cool new club downtown. the gallery with that hot new exhibit. knows someone who knows someone who works with that band you can never get tickets to see.

ensures you will never want for anything while you're with him.

namjoon —

ooh boy.

quiet. a lil obsessive. observant. can definitely be jealous. the kind of guy who loves to think he's good at situationships until he's in one and realizes very quickly he's not.

has a natural urge to play games to test you then have an existential crisis about whether that makes him a bad person.

wants to have all of your attention but will not ask for it. wants intensity but questions whether that’s sustainable long term.

ghosts when he’s in his feelings but writes you long, thoughtful paragraphs when he’s drunk. "that one guy who jerked you around in college" vibes.

will break your back and your heart at the same time.

in that cute in-between: museum dates. meetups in the park in the middle of the night to stare at the stars and get all philosophical. let's go try out that new distillery and catch that new arthouse film after. does this guy even have friends? because it's been 8 years and you still haven't met them.

jimin —

fun until it isn't.

lively and sweet and easy until it isn't.

flirts with literally everyone but gets real petty and kinda mean if you do the same.

thinks he isn't good enough. wants compliments and validation. another chronic overthinker. playful banter until he takes it too seriously and needs reassurance that you do actually like him.

not a ghoster but also not good at ending things so just lets it go stale and wither away.

dates? drinking and dancing. maybe one of those sip and paints. tickets to the ballet. competition shows at his place with takeout.

cuddly and affectionate but why does he call all of his friends his soulmate?

in the in-between: loves showing you off. would probably love to do your makeup. sickeningly sweet comments on all your ig selfies. always holding your hand.

taehyung —

intense. has a tendency to get a lil self-centered and disappear in that big noggin of his.

physical rather than emotional. will blow your back out in 10 different ways before he tells you he likes you.

(and only does this at 5am when he's drunk and just spent the last half hour crying to jimin on the phone.)

insecure so he plays it carefree and silly, but, dear reader, it was not, in fact, carefree and silly.

golden hour. takes the best photos of you on film. paints you silly things and nearly cries when you actually display them. can't cook but tries making a date of cooking together anyway; cons you into paying for the takeout after it inevitably fails. record stores. red wine.

jungkook —

either a major fuckboy or the most sensitive man on the planet there is really no in between here.

either never commits or is ready to get married the second time you hang out.

no chill. someone please remind him to be normal about this.

j e a l o u s !

facetimes you in the middle of the night just because.

learns all your favorite songs on guitar. loves a photobooth; keeps the film strip in his wallet. teaches you how to play video games but gets really pouty when you wind up being better than him. diners at 2am; a milkshake with two straws. obnoxious gym selfies. pretends he doesn't want to sing your girl group songs at noraebang yet suspiciously knows all the choreography.

shy shy shy

[awkwardlyfangirly]

ok hello i'm the anon that said you were my fav writer (which still rings true ily💖) and i had this idea and i know you'd be the absolute best at making it into a story (if you want) so leo's got this s/o and they get killed during the events of the movie. well after the kraang are banished and all that april gets him a build a bear kinda teddy bear that was his s/o's fav color with a heartbeat and a voice box of their laughter (hopefully you know what i mean here lol) so leo like cuddles this thing to death every night and brings it with him everywhere he can and he looses it one day or the heartbeat sound stops working and he gets rlly mega freaked out and that's when his bros realize he has a bad attachment to the bear so they try and help him move on as best as he can? does this make sense? i thought of writing it myself but i couldn't hold a candle to your talent so i was hoping you might maybe wanna write about it?? if not it's cool and i appreciate you very much

-💖 anon

ehehe i Love the level of detail u put into this >:))

also you're too kind :')) I've never posted fanfiction before and y'all have been so sweet and encouraging ahhh

okay I've never been to build-a-bear so i just used teddy bear town so i could kinda improvise how it worked! but my google history is still like "build a bear heartbeat" "can you wash build a bear in washing machine" "how does build a bear voice box work" lolol

anywizzles! hope u enjoy! I'm always open to any feedback u guys have, positive or negative - I'd love to be a better writer haha and i appreciate hearing what works and what could be better

/////////////

rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles fanfiction ~ Leo x female self-insert ~ tw/cw: character died in the past; characters dealing with grief and mourning; a graphic nightmare scene <3

/////////////

He still sees her in his dreams.

He doesn’t believe in ghosts, but her memory is sure haunting him, night after night after night.

Every time he dozes off, she’s there.

Sometimes the dreams are sweet: her hands on his face, her lips on his mouth, her voice and her smile and her warmth.

And then she fades away.

He’ll wake up reaching out for her. His hands will stretch after her and he’ll gasp her name and she’ll smile softly and then as more and more consciousness wafts back to him he’s forced to understand, to remember. She’s gone. She’s dead.

And sometimes the dreams are nightmares. Sometimes he’s forced to watch her die, again and again and again and again. He’ll get so excruciatingly close to saving her. But she’ll rot away in his hands. Sometimes he is her, feeling the life drain out of himself as he falls to his knees above himself and gathers himself up in his arms.

Sometimes he kills her. Sometimes he is the Krang, hardening three of his tentacles into sharp points and piercing her body right where it is the most vulnerable. Sometimes he feels her blood coating his hands, and he stumbles back with a gasp, and rushes to the bathroom to wash and wash and wash but his hands are red, red, warm and wet and red, and the more he washes the more the blood spreads, until he is covered and dripping in the bathroom, and then when he turns he sees his brothers, open-mouthed and angry, and then when he turns around again, frantically, he sees his reflection in the mirror and it is her, blood-bathed and sobbing.

He hasn’t been sleeping much at all.

It’s been three months since that day, and he’s been spending most of his nights awake. Watching Donnie work, or trying to read, or playing video games, or anything else he can think of to keep his mind switched on. But obviously, he can only go for so long before his body begins to shut itself down. And then he has to sleep. Lost, restless, anxious sleep. He wakes up sweating, drawing in the sheets, shaking and afraid. He naps in the daytime, exclusively; when he wakes back up, there will be brothers ready to distract his minds and his nervous hands. The nighttime is too dark and lonesome and unforgiving to wake up from a nightmare in.

But he won’t tell anyone about any of this. He won’t show it.

All the others make no secret of their grief -- even Mayhem curls up in her old hoodies and whimpers himself to sleep. But Leo? Leo is so carefree and so cheerful and so accepting of it all that April can tell he’s hurting worse than anyone.

April sighs to herself.

She’s standing in the production line at Teddy Bear Town, armed with Raph’s free-bear frequent buyer card, holding a bear husk in her favorite color, waiting to upload a message into a voice box to place inside of the bear. She has the recording up on her phone already, a voicemail from her to Leo that she had asked Donnie to send to her.

Finally, the recording station opens up, and she places her phone next to the microphone. She takes a breath and hits “play.”

“Hiii, my love,” her voice croons. “I miss you. It’s been, like, what, two days? I miss you. I’m on my way back right now but I literally can’t wait until I get home to talk to you again. Call me back. I love you. My lovely, lovely Leo. I love you. Bye. Kisses. Mwah.”

It hurts to hear her, her voice warm and happy and innocent and so, so alive. April bites at her lip and ends the recording.

She puts the voice box in the bear, and a heartbeat heart in the bear; and then when she takes it home she douses it with her favorite scent.

The bear goes in a nice box and she takes it to the lair.

“Heyy,” she says, poking her head into the living room. “Is Leo here? I have --” she drops her voice “-- the bear.”

“I think he’s asleep in the room,” Mikey says. He’s eyeing the box, obviously desperate to see the bear.

“Do you think he’ll mind if I go give it to him now?” April gives in and reaches into the box, pulling out the bear and handing it to Mikey so he can examine it. “I can put it next to him or something.”

“I think he’d like that,” Raph says, softly.

“Okay.” She reaches out her hands and Mikey reluctantly hands the bear back.

“It smells just like her,” he says, his eyes getting watery.

April hugs him and then carries the bear over to the bedroom. She tries the door and it opens easily; she steps inside and glances at Leo in bed.

He’s twitching, twitching, whimpering gently and turning like a rotisserie chicken. The sheets are winding around him, tight, tight. His forehead is pale and sweaty.

“No,” she can hear him mumbling. “No. No. Please.”

She immediately shakes one of his shoulders, and he jolts awake, lunging at her but too constricted by his sheets to move much at all.

“Whoa! Leo!”

He struggles against the sheets for a moment before recognition comes back into his eyes; he freezes, wide-eyed, muscles still tense and quivering.

He doesn’t speak.

“Hey. Hey. You alright?”

He doesn’t speak.

April sighs gently and untangles the sheets from around him.

“I know,” she whispers. “I know, I know. We’ve been through a lot. You… you need anything?”

He shakes his head and forces a smile on his face. There’s not usually anyone with him when he wakes up. He just powers through the aftereffects of the nightmares on his own. He’s never had to deal with the embarrassment of attention.

“Oh, Leo,” April sighs softly, and pats his shoulder. “You know you can always talk to me if you need to, right?”

He nods.

“I got you something,” she says, reaching into the box and then changing her mind and just putting it down on the bedspread. “You can look at it after I leave, okay? I love you. Take care of yourself. Remember that you can talk to any of us, anytime. I love you.”

And then she’s gone, and he’s sitting up in bed, his heart still pounding, his palms sweaty, his ears ringing. She shouldn’t have seen that. No one should ever see that.

He sighs and rubs at his temples and stares at the box. Finally he reaches forward to grab it, and pulls it back towards himself, and opens it and reaches inside. His fingers make contact with something soft and fuzzy, and his blood stills when he recognizes the scent.

It’s her. It’s her smell.

He pulls out the bear, his heart pounding again, and examines it in the low light of his room. It’s her favorite color. He presses his face against its belly -- it smells like her. It’s soft, and cuddly, and it smells like her.

Each inhale feels like a stab wound.

He squeezes the left paw and she starts to talk.

He sits, silent, wide-eyed, barely breathing, staring at the bear as her voice talks at him. Her voice.

He lays down again, clutching the bear to his chest with a death grip that would probably strangle it if it could actually breathe, pressing the paw again and again and again. Listening to her talk. She’s talking to him.

“My lovely, lovely Leo,” she says. “I love you.”

Leo breathes in. Long, and shuddery, and then before he knows it he’s on his side and in the fetal position: choking and coughing on hoarse sobs that rake at his chest with each breath.

He tries the other paw and it’s a heartbeat. Soft, and gentle, and it doesn’t stop as long as he’s holding on tight. He shoves his face into the bear’s stomach again, and the heartbeat thumps reassuringly against his forehead.

He curls around the bear like it’s the only thing holding him afloat.

He wakes up eventually, after a dark and dreamless sleep, and the first thing he notices is that the pillow and the bear are both damp. The space under his eyes is damp, too.

He presses the left paw again.

She speaks.

“I love you,” he tells her. The last time he said it, she was bleeding out in his arms. He holds the bear tight to his chest, squeezing it like she’s come back to him.

He leaves his room to get a snack in the kitchen -- hungry, suddenly, and much braver with her scent held close. He’s pressing down on the right paw, feeling the synthetic heart beat against him.

April is still over; she’s sitting in the living room, watching TV with Leo’s brothers. Their eyes follow him. He pretends not to notice.

He feels so tired. He’s holding the bear so tight, and he feels so tired.

He goes into the kitchen and opens the fridge and stares at the shelves for a while, feeling the cool air nipping at his beak and the heartbeat pulse against his plastron.

Finally, he just closes the fridge door and walks back into his room. And he sits on his bed, and presses his face against her scent, and squeezes the left paw, again and again.

“I love you,” she tells him. “Hi, my love. I love you. I miss you. I love you. I love you.”

He falls asleep again.

His brothers and April peek their heads into the room and see him: wrapped around the bear, curled tight against the wall, still and quiet.

“He looks so calm,” April whispers. “He was… kind of freaking out earlier.”

“You think the bear’s helping??”

“I hope so.”

Leo will not let go of the bear.

He takes her around the house, clutched in his arms; he takes her to the grocery store and the pizza parlor; the only time he leaves her is when he’s heading out on patrol. He doesn’t want anything to happen to her. She sits tucked under the covers when he’s away.

He will not let go of the bear.

It’s been seven months since her death when he misplaces the bear. (She’s been tangled up in his sheets and thrown into the washer. But he doesn’t know that. All he knows is that she’s gone.)

He runs into the living room, panting, shaking, grabbing Raph by the shoulders.

“She’s gone!” he screams, pulling Raph’s face close to his own. “Have you seen her?? She’s GONE!”

“What?? Who’s gone??”

And he screams her name and then bounces from foot to foot, waiting for Raph to do anything, to say anything; and finally he just runs off again, back to the bedroom, tearing apart anything and everything he can get his hands on. She’s gone.

“I should have had Donnie put a tracker,” he rambles, running back into the living room and starting to rip off the couch cushions. “She’s gone. She’s gone. Where could she be?? She was in my room!! In my bed! Right under the covers! Someone took her, right?? I don’t know where else she could be. Oh no. I lost her. I lost her. No. No.”

“Leo, calm down --” Raph starts to say, but Leo wheels around and stares at him, pale and wringing his hands together, and so Raph stands up and starts to look with him.

Eventually all four brothers are looking; and finally Mikey screams from across the house and Leo drops everything he’s holding and chases the sound of his voice, frantically, until finally they slam into each other in the doorway of the laundry room and Mikey presses a familiar lump into his arms.

She’s damp, and floppy, and her fur is kind of weird now, and her scent is greatly subdued, but it’s her.

Leo shoves his face into her belly and squeezes her tight in his arms, catching his breath for a moment, gasping in whatever remnants of her scent he can get. And then he presses one of her paws, and then the other; and there’s just a staticky gurgling from one paw and nothing from the other.

“No,” he says, starting to panic again. “No, no, no, no, no, no, no --”

“Leo, what is it? We found it for you --”

“She doesn’t work,” he mumbles. He presses the paws again, frantically, desperately: “She doesn’t work. Where’s her voice?? Where’s her voice?? Where’s her heartbeat??”

“Leo, calm down. It’s okay. We’ll get you a new one, alright?”

“No,” he says again, starting to flap his hands. The bear shakes along with them. “No, no, no, no, no. I can’t just replace her --”

“It’s a bear, Leo. It’s fine --”

“No!”

“Leo! Calm down!” Raph reaches out for him, trying to wrap him in his arms so he’s safe and constricted and starts to settle down; but Leo dodges away and holds his bear tightly, securely, backing into a corner of the room.

“She’s broken,” he mumbles.

Raph and Mikey exchange a Look.

The three non-Leo brothers discuss the matter later that night, once Leo has gone to bed. They discuss the matter of him, and the bear. The decision is unanimous: they have to talk to him about the way he feels about the bear.

They corner him first thing in the morning.

“Hey,” Raph says softly, as soon as Leo stumbles bleary-eyed into the kitchen, dangling the bear by one paw. “How you doing, buddy??”

Leo shrugs and feels around in the cabinet for a box of cereal.

“We have to talk about the bear,” Mikey says.

“Look, we understand that you love it, and the last thing we would want is to take something that you love away from you -- but we’re getting worried about you, Leo. It’s not quite healthy to get so attached to a toy like that.” Donnie rubs at his arms.

Leo squeezes the bear against his chest.

“You guys don’t know what you’re talking about,” he snaps. “I can love my bear if I want to. It had her voice in it, remember? And her smell? It comforted me.”

“But, Leo --” Mikey starts.

“No! No ‘but leos’!”

“But, Leo -- comfort and dependence are two very different things. You’ve gotten dependent on that bear. And we know you miss her, and the bear reminds you of her, but --”

“Stop talking about her!” Leo shouts. “Her, her, her -- you didn’t know her! You didn’t love her! Not like I did!! Stop talking about her like you understand what it meant to lose her!” And he squeezes his fists together, relaxes, squeezes again. “You don’t understand what it meant to lose her.”

“Leo, we do understand,” Raph says, gently. “We loved her, too. Not quite the way you did -- but we did love her. We lost her, too.”

“But we’ve been able to move on,” Mikey adds. “And of course we haven’t forgotten her, and we haven’t stopped missing her -- but we understand that she’s gone. And that she’s not coming back to us. You have to deal with that, Leo, with the root of it all -- you have to understand, and you have to move on.”

“Move on?? You’re telling me to just move on from losing her?! It’s only been seven months! And besides -- besides -- I’ll never be able to get over her. She’s the sort of girl you don’t just ‘get over.’”

“Leo, Leo, I know. We all know. It’s not easy for any of us! We miss her, too; we’re grieving, too; but --”

“But you didn’t kill her,” Leo says, softly, and his grip on the bear loosens slightly.

“What?”

“You didn’t kill her,” Leo says. “Your hands aren’t stained red every time you look at them --” and he leans heavily against the kitchen counter.

“Leo, you didn’t kill her.”

“But I did. It’s my fault the Krang are here in the first place. If I hadn’t… if I hadn’t…”

He presses the back of a hand to his eyes and breathes, breathes, steadies himself.

“If I hadn’t made a mess of things, none of this would ever have happened. It’s my fault the Krang were here.” His eyes are getting hot, wet, messy. He keeps wiping at them, over and over. “It’s my fault. You’ve never screamed it at me, amazingly. I don’t deserve you guys. But you know it, I know you do; it’s my fault that the Krang got here in the first place. If I hadn’t goofed up so bad, then they would still be in that prison dimension -- and she’d still be -- she’d still be --”

He doubles over at the kitchen counter and slides down to the ground, hunched over, grinding the palms of his hands into his eye sockets and screaming silently.

“Leo.” Raph sits down next to him, and sweeps his little brother into a tight hug. His own eyes are misting over. “Leo, none of us blame you…”

“But you should,” he blubbers. “You should. It’s my fault. Don’t say it’s not, just to try to make me feel better. I know it’s true --”

Mikey and Donnie kneel down next to them, wrapping their own arms around Leo, and Raph encloses all three of them in his arms.

They sit on the kitchen floor, hollow and grieving and sobbing. And Leo has the bear squeezed against his chest still, tight, tight, because he can’t let her go. he can’t let her go. he can’t let her go. he can’t let her go. he can’t let her go.

But two mornings after that, there’s a scrapbook on his bedspread. It’s filled, cover to cover, with her. Her favorite things, her favorite color, pictures of her, and the whole thing is drenched in her scent.

There’s a note attached to it, from all three of his brothers, and April.

You don’t have to move on just yet, the note says. We understand that. But try to focus on her, okay? Try to focus on her memory. She’d rather have you remember her than have you freak out over losing a bear that sounds like her. You know she would.

Leo agrees. He thumbs through the pages, and she smiles up at him from each picture. He can still hear her voice in his mind, and feel her hands on his cheeks.

He imagines that she’s there with him, in the room, right now. What would he say to her?

I’m sorry I killed you, he would say. It was incredibly stupid of me and I am so, so, so sorry.

I forgive you for killing me, she would say. And then she would sit down next to him on the bed and hug him, long and hard and tight. It’s been rough? Right? I’m so, so sorry for that. I never want to hurt you, Leo --

Don’t apologize for that, he’d say. It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.

But look at you. Look at how sad you are. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.

No. Don’t be sorry. I’m happy to be sad over you. It means that I still love you. I still love you, so much; but the love is just spilling over from inside of me. I have nowhere to put my love for you. I’m happy to be sad over you.

You’re funny, she’d smile, and then she’d hug him tight again and kiss his forehead.

He shuts his eyes. He misses her, so, so much.

But okay. Okay. For his brothers’ sake, he’ll try. Maybe that’s where he can put his love for her -- he can put it on his brothers. He can try his best to make them happy.

He sighs through his nose and tucks the bear back under his covers. Okay. She’ll stay there today.

He’ll see her tonight. He’ll hold her close tonight.

And he’ll keep her alive, keep her alive and well, with the love that’s inside his heart.