#u know he’s fucking u sooooo good as soon as you get to your room at the inn

[dipperscavern]

cregan's size kink is insaneeeew. ik u mentioned how big he is compared to jace. in all senses. like he just wants to protect u in his big arms and to feel your frame against his. his sweet little girl. this big brutish man of the north and his pretty princess. gods.

HELLOOOOOOOOOO ATLANTA (anon referencing this)

CREGAN SIX E KINN CRHEAN KSIZE KINK

i am chewing at the walls ily ily ily omg okay so. cregan is big. he’s big, burly, and brooding (it’s the stark blood). i just KNOW the size difference between you would drive him crazy. whenever your hand is on his bicep as you walk around, he has to physically stop himself from glancing at it. because if he does, he won’t be able to focus for the rest of the day. your hand is almost hidden by the furs of his cloak, but from what he can see, you aren’t even close to wrapping fully around his bicep. your hands are so small, and he’s so big, muscles thick & honed that are firm under your touch.

he has this innate urge to shield your body with his. like on your way traveling to the wall, you stop at inns for the night, and sometimes, they aren’t in the best places. walking in to see few crooks and people that cling to the walls, looking around them as if expecting to be surprised by something anytime soon. and seeing you, a sweet, pretty thing — wife to lord cregan stark of winterfell walk in quickly grabs their attention. has them smiling, licking their lips & sitting back in their chairs, spreading their legs wide. instead of next to him, cregan has you behind him fully. anyone that wants to think about getting a glimpse of you has to look past the thick wall of muscle in front of you first. he holds your hand tight, using it to pull you & keep you flush against him.

& when you finally get to the wall, it’s freezing. the cold gnaws at your bones in a way you could never fathom until now, but cregans done this dance before. as you stand on the platform that overlooks beyond the wall, cregan sees your shiver. he crowds your space, blocking the wind with himself. he shares his heat with you, and you lean against him. his arms wrap around you, and you’re grateful to have your northman all to yourself.

[k16is]

erzajane headcanons…. i have Many….

-Erza suddenly just Remembers that she is ripped and can carry literally anything sometimes. And whenever she does she immediately picks mira up without warning. miras more of the Literal manhandler in the relationship (because that’s how you manage people when u have 2 younger siblings u literally had to raise) but erza is just like …. pick up wife……….. soican carry Her…….. 😊😊and mira is like WAAAH! she gets startled everytime.

-grey is their NUMBER ONE HATER. He gets forced to take pictures of them being gross together and every single time he is DISGUSTED! despite the show giving grey and erza unnecessary weird romantic tension that made no sense i think theyre super siblings & it’s really like watching your older sister be in love type of disgust. Cana was their number one hater when they tore up the guild in fights but now she’s like Awwwwww … Leave them be grey! theyre Cute!

-happy tried. So Hard to do the “she loooooves you” thing to them after they get together but theyre just like yes I do :3 and he gets really pissed off he can’t make either of them mad anymore after the YEARS of pining. and then he extra torments lucy

-any time erza and mira have a nice moment during their rival era natsu jumps in and is like AWWW! GROUP HUUUG! and ruins it

-lucy is sooooo jealous. imagine u have 2 GORGEOUS beautiful friends u lowkey want & they GET TOGETHER. she’s hyping them up but she wants to be both of them. she’s like that one picture “I'm Finna just join somebody else relationship..Bitch scoot over.. I love y'all..” She also spills all her relationship drama to mira (about natsu juvia cana whoEVER (she’s moronromantic)) and since erzas there too she’s like WHAT?! HUH? because her autistic ass had no idea about any of this. she’s like “Guys can i just join your relationship instead im so tired” and miras like Awww silly lucy 😊

-& as an extension of this mira starts spilling ALL. the tea. to erza. mira is the type to stir the pot unnecessarily because she’s bored (i.e her messing with lucy by saying grey and natsu like her) even when she’s absolutely positive something is just a false rumor. she’s been holding all that REAL shit in to herself and as soon as lisanna gets back she EXPLODES with gossip she’s collected to lisanna and erza whenever they get together. she’s a good secret keeper mostly but her sister and girlfriend Will Know. erza starts teasing people (subtly) much more as a result.

-elfever & erzajane in-law shenanigans. They stay over at each others places often all together (with lisanna too. freeloading on either of their couches) and cook dinner together…

-grief made mira give a fuck sooo much less. especially initially after someone would playfully make a jab and instead of dissing back she’d be like Oh you! but erza would get pissed off that she was passive and start fighting people for her. and then mira would just be like wow<3

-for most of their earlier days erza was almost always in a full suit of armor as a coping mechanism. despite really loving to dress up, she never really did it outside of her own room because she didn’t feel safe enough to, so that leads to mira seeing an ankle and being filled with lust like it’s the 1600s. over time she grows more comfortable and stuff but like. jus imagine u see ur crush out of a suit of armor for the first time and she is just absolutely RIPPED. cmon now. you’d die too

-if mira gets notes from secret admirers or letters from fans erza will proofread them. She is a living grammarly. she also just gets jealous

-through mira’s transformation magic she starts hiding her scars from battles when she starts modeling. erza doesn’t say anything about it but it pisses her off so bad because she thinks mira is gorgeous just the way she is. mira just tryin to make that bank now that she can’t work as a wizard 🔥 let her be

-they both dickride each other when they fight other people. especially in the grand magic games arc mira was picking everyone up and spinning them around and screaming BEAT THEIR ASS ERZA!!!!!! n meanwhile erza is just like Heh…. this was only 2% of her power… She could’ve PULVERIZED her…. like okaaay i see u!

[lovingmimiii]

Hey!! I was wondering if I could submit a request between Angel Dust x gn! reader. So reader has a secret crush on Angel (it’s not super obvious, but u can tell it’s there👀) and ever since Cherri decided to move in to the hotel and has gotten to know the residents a little more, she’s started to notice these signs😏 cue in Cherri being the best wingwoman ever for reader, but also embarrassing the shit out of them cause she’s a little shit🤣👑

While this is happening, Angel is just side-eyeing reader the entire time, giving them teasing, little flirty looks and reader is just like “fucking kill me now”😳 but once Cherri is done with her torment, reader ends up confessing (much to Angel’s amusement) and the ending is just sweet, cute and fluffy😘💞

Thank you so much love!!! I can’t wait to see what you write!🫶🏼

AWWWWW!!! This is so adorable! Thank you so much for requesting Anon, it makes my day better! 🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎

ᡣ𐭩 ᡣ𐭩

ᡣ𐭩 Angel Dust x Crush! Reader . . . 🧸

🧸ྀི ~ Let’s get something straight here… you don’t adore Angel just because he’s involved with the pornography industry (because a BUNCH of people adore him because of that and his body). You adore him because of how he is deep down. Angel’s personality isn’t only the fact that he is a famous pornstar—there’s so much more to his character besides that and you see it as clear as day.

You love how he is genuinely able to cut the “Flirty” act of his and immediately turn serious when it’s needed. For example, one time you were really upset about something and it bothered you like no other. When Angel saw this he immediately dropped the usual act and comforted you. It’s like he knows how to switch out of that act he puts on to truly let those around him know that he does care about them.

Angel is able to make you feel so giddy inside everytime an interaction happens between the two of you. The way he sweet talks you is smooth like honey—The way he stares at you is so hypnotizing…

🧸ྀི ~ Of course, you didn’t want to blow your cover so soon. You tried to keep this little crush of yours on the low side and just went with the flow. You understood your feelings, accepted them, and now? Suffer in silence as you struggle to find out a way to tell Angel how you feel without feeling the overwhelming pressure of being rejected.

🧸ྀི ~ …don’t worry though! Your good ol’ friend Cherri is here to assist!

🧸ྀི ~ Once Cherri moved into the hotel and started to get familiar with the residents and what not, she immediately caught onto how you acted with her best friend Angel. Pfft, she didn’t understand how literally NO ONE else didn’t catch on! It’s SOOOOO obvious!

(Yes, this is what Cherri might do sometimes so just a heads up…)

🧸ྀི ~ You had your fair share with Cherri’s torment when she caught onto the fact that you had a crush on Angel.

*Reader ogling at Angel from across the room*

*Cherri slowly appears behind you, going unnoticed.* “…You like him don’t cha?”

*Reader yelps and falls on their face*

(Also with Angel witnessing this and immediately running to your side-)

🧸ྀི ~ GODDDD… Cherri is the DEATH of you. She will constantly find ways to embarrass you in front of Angel (like teasing about your crush in front of him or when your talking about your feelings for Angel quietly she just blurts out crap)

“Yeah… Angel is really pretty… I-I like him—“

“YOU LIKE ANGEL!? YOU THINK HE’S REALLY PRETTY!?-“

🧸ྀི ~ Everyday is like battlefield for you when it comes to Cherri but secretly you like the fact that she’s being kinda of a tease and being vocal about this because lord knows that you could NEVER do that… plus it’ll make Angel catch on…hopefully?

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹

~ Oneshot ~ ! . . . ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹

“WAIT SO YOU LIKE ANGE-“

“SHHHHHHHHH…”

Cherri let out a muffled giggle from behind your hand as you silenced her. You stared back at her with disapproval as a blush rose to your cheeks out of embarrassment. Geez, out of everyone in this hotel—why did Cherri have to be the one to find out about your crush on Angel? Yet she claims that she’s being such a “good” wingwoman… Yeah right!

“Cherri… stop that! I’ve told you so many times…” You scolded with a whisper as you slowly removed your hand from her mouth.

Cherri shrugged her shoulders with a sharp toothy smile. “Eh, it was worth a shot! Fuck, I was hoping Angie would hear~” She said teasingly, nudging you with her elbow as you sunk into the couch. Your hands covered your face at the mere thought of Angel hearing her shout that out. It made your heart skip some beats… “Do you ever plan on tellin’ him? It’s been like this for MONTHS, bitch!”

Cherri didn’t disapprove of this situation between you, your feelings, and Angel. Cherri knew that you weren’t like any of the other assholes Angel has been around and she could tell. Hell, she never told you this but Angel talks about you a shitload of times when they are together causing shit. Not to mention how it does seem like Angel has some pretty deep feelings for you. She just didn’t make the effort to tell you because she knew that you could confess by yourself! Character development~!!!

“I-I don’t know.” You sighed. You genuinely wanted to tell Angel how you felt but you were too scared. What if he rejects you? I mean, that’s fine—but what if he doesn’t want to be around you anymore? Not only you’d lose your forever crush but you’ll also lose one of your greatest friends…”I don’t think I ever will…”

…

“BULLSHIT!!!” Cherri exclaimed as she abruptly stood up from her spot on the couch. “Well today, you’re gonna finally tell him how you fuckin’ feel!” And with that being said with no protests from you, Cherri grabbed your wrist and dragged you out of the Lobby and down the hall. You assumed that she was taking you to Angel’s room and that made your heart fall straight to your stomach.

“Wait—Wait, Cherri! No—I-I don’t know how to confess! I don’t—I don’t what to say!!—“

“Welp, it’s either you tell him,” Cherri started as the pulling of your wrist stopped, signaling that you two were already at Angel’s humble abode. “or shall I take the honors~?”

“No. No way.”

“Damnit… well, he’s all yours!” Cherri said as she pushed you forward. You stared at the door to Angel’s room, feeling shaky all over as you slowly raised your fist to knock on the door. You chewed the inside of your lip with such nervousness before gently knocking on the bedroom door, quickly putting your hand back to its placement by your side. You looked at Cherri with a worried expression and she just nodded her head at you as she leaned against the wall, giving you a big smile. “You got this,” she mouthed.

“I-I don’t think I do… Is this really the right choice?—“

“Sweetface! What’re you doin’ here at my room… at this time?” Angel’s voice had a tint of teasing to it which made your heart jump. You felt your palms getting a tad bit sweaty.

“I—Erm…I just wanted to—“

“THEY LIKE YOU!—“ Cherri’s mouth was quickly covered by you in an instant.

“Cherri!—shush…!” You said in a hushed tone.

Angel just looked between the two of you with a confused expression with a hand on his hip. What was going on with the two of you? Was this another one of Cherri’s stupid pranks or some shit? And why were you acting so worrisome?

Pfft, it doesn’t take a genius to know what’s going on. Angel hid the smirk that was fighting to appear on his face as he watched the both of you bicker. Angel knew that you had a thing for him…which is okay because he too has a thing for you.

“So…um…like I was saying, Angel—I—“

“They dream about kissing you every night and they really…REALLLYYYY want you to date them, Angie.” Cherri interrupted with a shit eating grin.

You froze right then and there… jesus christ, she could NEVER keep her mouth shut for the life of her couldn’t she? What makes it even worse is how it’s not a lie! It’s a truth! The full bloody truth! You just wanted to curl into a ball in the corner and just die…AGAIN! “I—No! No no—it’s not!—“ you tried to speak but Angel cut through.

“Is that so, hmmm~?” Angel said with a smirk on his face. His eyes were sharp as he stared at you with a flirty glint in his eyes. His gaze made your legs feel like jelly as you stood there shyly, fidgeting with your shirt. “Cherri, could we have some privacy?” Angel asked, his eyes never looking away from your nervous form.

“Will do!” With that, Cherri was gone down the hall. You didn’t miss the way she winked at you before taking her leave, leaving both you and Angel in the halls of the hotel together. No one else to interrupt you.

It was quiet. Silence. You didn’t know what to say to Angel. what should you say anyway? The word has already gone out, you like Angel— now he knows the truth. The silence was eating you alive at this point…

“…So,” Angel started. You could feel his breath tickle your face as he leaned down close to your face. You had no choice but to make eye contact with the other male with such bashfulness. “talk to me, Y/n. What was it that you were saying before…interruptions~?” The way your name slid off his tongue was music to your ears.

Now’s your chance. Your one and only chance.

“…Angel,” You started. “I…I like you. I’ve always had feelings for you. I wanted to tell you but I was afraid that it would ruin everything we already had together and I didn’t want that. I understand if you don’t feel the same as I do—I just hope that we can still be friends…” You briefly confessed. You felt a whole entire ton of weight leave you shoulders when you laugh all that out. It felt good to finally tell Angel how you truly feel down— if anything, it felt as if it was suffocating you completely.

Angel was quiet for a moment, looking down at you silently before putting a hand underneath your chin, tilting your head to look at him. You felt your face get warm when you saw that gentle smile of his on his lips as he stared down at you with such love. “Y’know, you really do worry too much.” He teased in a hushed tone.

“Y-Yeah..” you replied awkwardly.

“Well, lucky for you cause trust me, baby—I’ve always wanted to see how you are in bed~” Angel said with a loving voice.

“E-Ehh!? Excuse you…? A-Angel, b-but that doesn’t answer my question—“

“What? The question if I like you back? Damn, I thought you’d knew just from me saying that!” Angel argued playfully.

“Uh, well, I-I think I know…but I just really want to make sure that you actually feel the same way.”

Angel let out a small chuckle, caressing your cheek. “Fine,” he said before leaning closer to you and pecking your cheek which made your gasp suddenly. “I love you, Y/n~” he admitted. Angel watched as your face turned a bright red and it just filled in his inner turmoil.

“I…I love you too…”

[neetily]

꣑୧ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ── MATCHUP EVENT: Date #5

♡ cupid's victim number five!! ♡

lets goooooo! so very honoured to be able to do your matchup, my love. here's hoping that you enjoy who i pick... even if it's not who you were expecting!! (don't worry, it's not them hehehe...)

─ you have one new message from...

Whitney . . .

meet me after school tomorrow or else slut. wanna show you my place properly. only cause i hate your shithole home x

Why? now, you might think i'm just being a bit biased here... but i promise that im not!!! i truly think that whitney is the guy most suited for you, mostly because he'd be able to handle your anger when it pops up. holding you tight to his chest, making sure you calm down in his arms when you really need it. he'd be so good at physical restraint, which i think you'd benefit from! y'know, feeling his weight upon you and such? but also, he'd be able to just take your bad moods when they come with such ease; like he just gets it, y'know? it helps that you two share similar issues, i think. leading to him understanding you on such an intimate level, more so than anyone else, i believe. i also think that he'd match your dark humour the most! riffing off of you effortlessly, making you laugh all night long with his crass and curt approach to jokes. also, he aligns with your enemies to lovers trope love so well, right?! the bully who falls for his victim, ugh... so cute <3 and, in spite of appearances, i do genuinely believe that he's honest deep down. it might take him a bit to open up to you, but even when he tries to hide his truth, it's so easy and plain to see on his face! someone who can't help but be body honest with you, y'know? i think he'd absolutely adore your body type too, i just know it okay !!! loves to tug and pinch and squeeze at your sides, loving all on your tummy and thighs any chance he gets. and he'd appreciate the fact that you're so willing to help, willing to love him in spite of his faults. in love with how big your heart is, even if it's difficult for him to admit at times... he would find so much comfort in you, i think.

i think he'd be really protective over you, which i believe you'd appreciate a lot. someone who's willing to stand up for you, who believes that you could do no wrong, supporting you always in anything you wanna do! he'd also be so down to play games with you any time, even if only to get you a little mad because he thinks it's so cute when you pout at him </3

also!! imagine the PLUSHIE PILE !!!!! smoking with him on rooftops, having him drag you through the night light streets to clear your head. he's always looking out for you <3 something about him screams winter baby to me too idk. just the vibes !!! but they suit u so! he'd match your energy sooooo well imo!

Visiting hours . . .

a loud huff escapes him, purposeful and forced out from his terse lips, routine begging him to pull out another cigarette from his pocket to light up in your dingy little orphan room for at least something to do.

"fuckin' dour in here, ain't it?" he exhales sharply, emptying his lungs enough to take in a deep inhale of smoke soon after, eyeing you up curiously with a tilt of his head when you match his defiant attitude with a fold of your arms. he holds the smoke there for a beat or two, waiting for you to pout prettily at him before he releases his lungs with a playful smirk tugging at his lips.

fuckin got you already, slut.

you make it too easy for him! truth be told, he enjoys your disobedience more than he'd like to admit. finds it fun when you respond to him in kind, like a fucking brat. it's attractive, even, to be riling you up into retaliation, prompting him to stare you down with narrow eyes to match your own steely gaze.

"i didn't ask you to come over, whitney." you scoff at him, and he can feel his cock twitch at the sheer attitude dripping from your words. "if i remember correctly, it was—"

cutting you off has got to be one of the worst things he could do to you in this moment, right? and yet still, "yeah, yeah. fuckin' get it, baby. my bad for wanting to have a nice, relaxing, chill date with my fuckin' girlfriend, all right?"

he can barely hide his smile.

hook, line, and sinker. he knows he really shouldn't be making things worse for you right now, but he simply can't help himself from pushing at your easy to locate buttons because you look so fuckin cute when huffing and puffing at him like that, it's downright unfair to expect otherwise from him. and besides, this is fun. he's having fun, hanging out with you this way. not doing much at all except existing beside you, cigarette dangling dangerously between his lips as he idly inhales and exhales, staring directly at you from his side of your bed with a challenge resting at the tip of his tongue.

sure, the place you call home does fucking suck. damp, wet, and cold to boot. and he hates the caretaker, fucking freak that he is. but, in spite it all, he loves you. and he'd do just about anything to be with you, to make you happy, to spend as much time as possible with you for as long as he can. even if that means sticking it out in your shitty fuckin dorm room for the foreseeable future, sneering at you when you pout sweetly back at his teasing and you inevitably coax a bark of laughter to escape him.

you're prettiest when you pout, he thinks. gets him rock hard in a fucking instant, a casual hand coming down to nonchalantly palm at his growing erection as you wince back at him.

"you're lucky you're so cute." you glare at him with your words, and it only makes his cock harder. has him biting down on his bottom lip with a roll of his eyes, palming at his cock a little harder now that he has your full attention.

you're gonna be the fuckin death of him one of these days. so fuckin cute, it's stupid just how much a simple stern tone and furrowed brow gets to him.

"and you're lucky i like you, baby." he counters, a cheeky wolf whistle swiftly following as he gets more comfortable on your bed, instinctively tugging you onto his lap so that you can feel just how much he loves you.

at least he can find his own entertainment with you in your boring ass room, something to make the otherwise stale date one to remember.

— you like to... do something creative when alone! here is a moodboard that i think fits your matchup!

[bucky-barnes-diaries]

Hi love first of all you're sooooo fuckin talented! you just make this sound so good and damn it's make all of us horny 😂

Buuuut hear me out: (Mob Bucky)

- Bucky is jalous and possessive because someone is flirting with you at an event

He decides that you're flirting back (even if you're not) and he got angry

- and then realized that the guy is enemy and knows you Bucky is and that you're with him

- and the guy put his hand on you like hips or something

- bucky is seeing red and not having any of these...

- so he decides to go back home to teach you a lesson (u know what I mean 😏)

- In front the guy he says something like : sorry we got to go I need to fuck her and her pretty pussy that are both mine

What I don't know is that he asks steeve to kick the guy ass and then bring him in your home

-when u arrived the guy is bleeding and trapped in a chair in your bedroom and in z corner of the room when he sees the bed clearlyyy

- bucky is not happy and overstimulation (like crazy)

- and then, once you can barley breath he manhandle you, put u on your knees and fuck you again, then he cums inside you and fuck is cum back inside when it's leaking...

- he then grab the guy from where he was sitting and make him watch you leaking and full of him...

-Yep no one can touch his girl

-ooh and please degrading!!

Sorry if it's messy it's my first request ever 😂 love u 💖

Yooooo 😳

This is wow… fucking perfect… *pussy explodes* 💦

Hell yes I’m doing this!! I am actually planning to write for MobBucky soon so this was perfect hahah! But I have to disappoint you a tiny bit😭 because I have a few WIPs I have to try and finish first before I get to this (the never ending WIP list lol. Every writers worst nightmare) I’m really sorry🥺 but I will try and do this one as soon as I can❤️

Also thank you for the kind words! Means a lot❤️ ily

[ourflagmeansdeth]

mover night / bolin x reader

hi everybody :))) it’s taken me sooooo long but i’ve finally finished this lil work. its definitely just pwop, but is it also the first piece of smut i’ve ever felt good enough about to actually post? yes! it’s about time we got some grinding/dry humping bolin content, don’t u think? if u have any thoughts or suggestions, my ask box is open <3

summary: You and your boyfriend, Bolin, have gotten into a habit of having weekly mover nights. He's just had a long day helping Mako with his move into his new apartment, and you want to help Bolin feel good after the mover ends.

tw: very minor alcohol use!

~by clicking under the cut u verify that you are 18+ years of age~

It had been about one month of living with your boyfriend, Bolin, and you two had gotten into a habit of having mover nights once or twice a week. It would be after dinner, after both of you had finished your work for the day, and you switched between who got to choose the mover. Tonight was your pick, and you chose an easy, short comedy. Today was one of those days where you both needed to relax and laugh a little, nothing too heavy. You poured out two glasses of berry wine, passing one to Bolin as you both settled onto the couch. His arm wraps around you and squeezes you up against him as he smiles down at you.

The mover is funny, and you really think Bolin is enjoying it, but you also know that he had had a long day helping Mako move into his own place. The wine in your stomach, now equal to that of a few glasses, makes you feel fuzzy. He deserves to feel good after such a long day of straining himself. You turn and press kisses into his neck.

“Hmm?” He blushes, the hand of his on your shoulder pulling you in a bit closer.

“Is this okay?” you ask, sucking on his soft skin lightly.

“Come here.” Bolin encourages your chin up to kiss him with his fingertips in response, his hand falling down to your waist. The credits begin rolling on the mover and you swing a leg over his lap as you hoist yourself up onto his thighs. He responds enthusiastically, kissing you deeper, moaning low in your mouth. He attempts at pulling you closer to his chest, but you keep your distance, not daring to look down into his lap.

You tug on the hem of his undershirt, his hands shifting off your waist to pull it up and over his head. His chest shines in the light of the screen in the corner of the room and you trace his collarbones with your fingertips. “Mm, so handsome,” you groan into his lips before kissing him again, “you look so good today, Bo.”

He lets out a long moan into your kiss from the praise, his hands grabbing the sides of your thighs. You take a moment to appreciate his smooth skin with your hands, fingertips light on his chest, and he exhales slow in your ear as you place a kiss on his temple. “Y/n,” he whimpers into your neck, “you’re so fucking sexy.”

Your lips meet his and he caresses your face as you kiss him, his tongue slipping into your mouth, the heat between your legs aching. You look down to take in his toned body when your eyes wander a bit further than you intended. Bolin is thicker than most, that’s for sure— you’ve always needed lube for your prior experiences with him. His dick strained against his pajamas, fully outlined in the soft fabric as he leaned in to kiss your neck. “B-Bolin…” you whimper as he marks your pulse point, sucking gently.

The idea of Bolin’s cock in between your legs plagues your mind and you can’t help but press yourself forward and up against him, his hands grabbing your ass as he pulls you further on top of his lap. Oh, he’s... really hard. He gasps in your ear at the pressure. “Fuck, y/n,” he whines, “so good.”

You rock against his length as he holds your body against his, moaning soft into his ear. “Mm, Bo,” you sighed, “please—” Bolin’s hips buck, his arms tight around you as he guides you along him. His cock hits a particularly sensitive spot between your legs, your back arching and grinding down onto him. Your enthusiasm makes him suck a bit harder on your neck, and you cry out from the sensation, trembling.

Bolin pulls away and smiles at you, his cheeks flushed, before flipping you over on the couch. With him now above you, your legs hug his waist as he reaches for the clasp on your outer tunic. As he pulls the fabric away from your chest, a look of concern flashes over his face. “Is this okay?” he asks, his movements coming to a halt.

You blush at Bolin’s politeness. “Of course.” you murmur, craning your head up to kiss his nose. He has always made you feel this cherished, his green eyes glimmering with both admiration and lust as you pulled away. Your hands reach up to bring his body to yours, and you both gasp when his dick presses against you once again. He grinds down onto you and gets into a rhythm, rocking gently but with quite a bit of his weight.

“Mm, y/n, you feel so good for me,” Bolin purrs into your ear. “You’re literally gonna make me—“ he thrusts forward, head falling to rest on your shoulder.

“Literally gonna make you…?” you tease him, tracing lines along his back.

“Stooooop,” Bolin laughs between his moans, working up his pace. “You know what I meant.”

Your hands move from his spine to his torso, his muscles rippling at the touch. “Hmm,” you smirk, your hand reaching down between his legs, wrapping around his length through the fabric of his pajamas. “I don’t think I—“

Bolin let out a long groan into the couch cushion next to your head. “Y/n, you’re going to kill me.” He thrusted faster into your palm, moaning low in your ear.

As soon as your hand starts working on him, all bets are off. Bolin’s swearing and pressing into your hand as you work back and forth on him, melting under your touch. You crane your head over to mark his shoulder, pressing kisses on his collarbone, sucking on his skin lightly. It’s not long before Bolin slows his pace and a long moan escapes his lips as he rides out his pleasure, his arms collapsing underneath him and he rests his head on your chest.

Your hand moves from his length to the back of his head, running your fingers through his hair as he pants on top of you, exhausted. It felt so good to make Bolin feel this good, and if the precious boy weren’t 190 pounds of pure muscle, you could definitely lay like this forever.

“Bolin, honey,” you start, running a thumb along his cheek. “I love you, but you’re crushing me.” He peels himself off of you, your eyes meeting for a moment before you lean up to kiss him. You pull away and he smiles at you.

“You’re incredible, y/n,” he kisses your nose, “I can’t believe you’re all mine.”

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Sooooo NSFW alphabet (as a whole) for our dear clone boys? Wolffe or Cody...u decide ❤ thank u

A/N: I decided to go with Wolffe on this one because, I like Wolffe.  Also, I think I’ve got a better grasp on his character. And, just as a reminder REBLOG AND COMMENT IF YOU LIKE THIS!!! Likes mean nothing on this site and the tags hate me personally.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Panting, sweating, and holding you close.  He seriously loves nothing more than pulling you against him as he presses soft kisses all over your skin.  You practically have to bribe him to let you go long enough to wash up after.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He loves your ass.  There’s no getting around it.  He loves the way it feels in his hand.  He loves the sound you make when he squeezes it.  And most of all, he hates to see you leave, but he loves to watch you go.

For himself, Wolffe is pretty proud of his chest.  He loves the feel of your hands on him.  He knows you watch him when he’s training with his brothers.  And you’ve made it your mission in life to kiss an admire every scar on it.  How could he not appreciate your efforts?

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

It’s a tie if he prefers cumming in your mouth or in your cunt more.  Either way, cumming inside you is the best feeling in the world for him.  It’s like he’s proving to himself that you’re his.  It’s his cum inside you, nobody else, and you’re letting him.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He still has your panties from the first night you had sex.  He’s not proud of it, but when he’s been away from too long, he likes to hold the lace as he jerks off.  He would never tell you.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Let’s go with limited before he meets you. Obviously none of the clones even see any sort of potential sexual partner until after their training is over, and after then it’s kind of few and far between.  Wolffe has had a couple of one night stands with some women who have come into 79′s, but that’s about it.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Doggy style.  Cliche? Yes. But true. He loves having a perfect view of your ass as he cock slides in and out of you, coated with you slick.  He loves the control it gives him.  But he especially loves covering you with his body and bite into your shoulder as you both cum.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Not really.  He can be a little cheeky at times as he teases you, but most of the time it’s fast, rough, and completely erotic.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He keeps it pretty trim down below.  He knows you’re not a fan of a mouth full of pubic hair when you suck him off.  The least he can do is keep your comfort to a minimum.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

In the moment it’s like he wants to absorb your body into his. Even when he’s taking you from behind, he grabbing and pulling and kissing your skin like it’s the only thing keeping him alive.  So, romantic? Maybe not.  Intimate? Yes.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He’s away a lot and every now and again needs to let off some steam.  He shares his bunk with his brothers, so getting off there without leaving some evidences is a trick.  Most of the time he waits until late at night on the ship and slips into the showers when nobody is around.  It’s then a matter of turning on the warm water and picturing you’re in there with him.  He’s gotten off plenty of times to the thought of your lips wrapped around his cock as the water pours down both your bodies.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Praise kink. We know Wolffe has his own reservations about being a clone.  While he’s gotten better, the idea that he’s one of literally millions ways on him at times.  So to have you call his name, praise his fingers, his cock, his lips and know that he’s the one making you see stars is everything to him.

Also totally a Dom.  Not full blown latex and whips, but he does like the idea of tying you up and letting him do what he wants to your body.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

His favorite place is your apartment on Coruscant.  If he’s at your apartment, good chance you’re both on leave so the probability of being call away or interrupted are slim to none.  He once kept you in that apartment for three days straight after not seeing you in months.  All you did was fuck, eat, sleep and fuck again for almost 72 hours.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Honestly, just you whispering into his ear and telling him you’re horny is enough to get him going.  You add and kiss and a small bite on his neck and he’s ready to take you against the nearest wall.  You’re own assertiveness combined with the fact you want him to be the one to take care of you is all he needs.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

You humiliating him.  Seriously, degrading him or hitting him or anything like that just gets him frustrated and upset.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He man loves a good blow job. I wasn’t kidding when I said it’s a toss up for him between cumming down your throat or in your pussy.  The sight of you on your knees with your lips wrapped around his cock has gotten him through plenty of lonely nights.

That all being said, he’s excellent at giving.  Although, he almost exclusively uses it as a form of torture.  There was one memorable night when he tied your hands to the headboard and decided to see how many times he could make you cum with just his tongue and fingers.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Most of the time it’s rough borderline feral sex.  Lots of hair pulling, biting, bruised hips and a couple of broken headboards.  If you’re both not panting like you just ran a marathon he considers it a slow night.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

On the rare occasion you’re working along side each other, quickies are definitely a thing. He never has a quickie while on duty, but he knows there is no way you guys can get enough privacy to had a full sessions.  So, the solution is quickies in empty shower rooms, abandoned tech rooms, and even once an empty med bay.  He’s not sure when he’s going to see you again and doesn’t want to waste the opportunity

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Wolffe really is up for anything, so long as you talk to him before hand.  He wants to makes sure you’re comfortable and safe with whatever you guys try out.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

His stamina is actually pretty impressive.  You’re not sure if it’s just pent up energy since you guys so rarely get to see each other in person or if he’s just like that.  Either way, he can go three rounds on an average night.  They fluctuate in terms of time depending on how much foreplay is in between sessions, but it’s enough to leave you both exhausted and spent by the end of it.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Wolffe doesn’t really have any toys for himself.  The mocking he would get from his brothers if they ever found it is enough for him not to risk it.  But, you do have a nice collection of toys in your apartment the pair of you like to bring out every now and again.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He is such a tease.  There is just something about you tied to the bed, bucking your hips as you try to fuck yourself on his fingers begging for him to let you cum that is oh so satisfying.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He certainly is loud.  Add that to another reason why your apartment is the best place to have sex.  He grunt and groan and whispers dirty things in your ear only to get louder and more wild the closer he is to cumming.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Absolutely none of his brothers really realize how bad he has it for you.  Wolffe more than almost any other clone knows how to divide his private life from his personal life.  Even if you work together and go off to random corners of the ship for a quick one, literally nobody catches on.  The man has the best poker face in the GAR and you can quote me on that.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

I’m convinced all the clones are hung and you can quote me on that.  An eight inch thick dick, the lot of them.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Pretty high, which surprises everyone besides you.  Every chance he has to touch you, he does.  You wonder if it will cool down once the war is over because there’s no chance any time soon.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He’s out pretty soon after you finally call it a night.  Grant you are too, but he’s out like a light.  Nothing short of a bombing is going to get him up.

[seijorhi]

asks :)

once again, i’m terrible at answering things :)

First off, your newest Kuroo story WRECKED ME. OMMMMMG LIKE IT'S SOOO FUCKING GOOD. You are one of the most incredible writers ever, like professional style writing. These should be books and you should get paid for it, honestly. Your skill is totally unmatched, my friend. I just adore everything you write. I had two questions thou about the story, just because I am totally obsessed by it- so has Kuroo been obsessed with her since he saw her, I'm like curious how his obsession started 

like is it because she's young and he's interested? Cuz I totally got the vibes at the party that he was showing her off like she was his girlfriend and he seems like he has been wanting her for awhile. I was just curious about how it started cuz god I'm a simp for yandere kuroo- boss man Kuroo would make me weakkkkk. My second question is so is he like obsessively in love with her or is it like just a this hot piece of ass is mine to fuck kinda thing? Like does he want a relationship?

anyways, I love you and I love your writing. Everything you write is legit perfection! Thank you for all your beautiful stories you share with us! - Kai

first of all, whomst gave you the right to be so damn sweet???!?! dsgsjkl thank you, bby!

so, like with all my fics i kind of have a ‘read into it how you want’ thing going for it. whether or not kuroo actually has ‘romantic’ (i use that word loosely) feelings for the reader or whether he just enjoys fucking her because he’s in a position of power and she’s easily manipulated is left a little up to your interpretation and how you’d prefer to imagine it. however, having said that there are little hints throughout the fic that imply that there’s a little more depth to kuroo’s feelings. you’re not wrong with the whole ‘showing her off’ vibe at the party, and there’s mentions of confessions that kuroo gives while he’s fucking the reader - also the title of the fic, invidia, means envy in latin. so take that how you will 🤷‍♀️

and as far as how it all began, i like to think that it was kind of a slow build. again it’s implied that kuroo has met the reader (however briefly) a few times before - at games as nekoma’s manager, when she initially was introduced as his girlfriend and she has stayed over at their place in the past. it wasn’t so much a singular moment, but kuroo’s definitely been paying more attention to her than she realises. 

WHAT WHAT WHAT???? RHI UHMMM WAS KUROO IN LOVE WITH THE READER???? 👀👀👀👀 HOLY SHIT. I'm honestly mind blown rn like I have a lot of questions like did Shin know? Was he also into it? Omg the idea of Father and Son sharing reader...

(also I def did not hope that Bokuto was also there cuz that would have be fun....oppsss)🙊

hehehe

no, shin didn’t know but oh can you imagine the betrayal if he did? if he willingly set up the reader to be fucked by his dad 👀god damn

adsfgdhjfkfl there was a moment i genuinely considered having something more happen at the christmas party where bo would stumble across and one thing would lead to another.... but i decided not to go that route. this one needed to be solo kuroo haha

Rhi, what can I say, amazing as always!

ahhh thank you sm, bby!

Hi i absolutely love the kuroo fic at first no one would actually notice he was into and then story actually rises nicely however i would like to ask like what happens later im sorry im a little burnt out from my mountains of assignments that i cant think of a possible aftermath since the story had an open ending but yeah what happens later after the whole scene does y/n stay there for the 7 days and get r*ped again or she goes home early and like what happens to kuroo and shinsuke im sorry for annoying you with questions its fully up to you whether u would like to answer or not :-)

aw, thank you! I hope your assignments and stuff are all done? And pls bby, you’re not annoying me at all 💕💕💕

Honestly again, it’s kind of left up to what you like to think would happen, but personally I think that the reader stays, because there’s no easy way to get out of that situation without raising suspicion - which means that she then has to spend the next week trying unwittingly playing cat and mouse with Kuroo who’s gonna use every damn opportunity he has to push your boundaries 👀

Duuuuude invidia fucked me up! Like fuck, lol! The build up was so spectacular! It makes me wonder two things: how did kuroo’s obsession start, and what would shin have done if he caught them (and why do I feel like he’d join in... I guess it runs in the family lol).

I loved it sooooo much and im also so creeped out lol. Can’t trust other people’s dads. Everything about it was perfect!

glad you liked it, bby!!

shin’s a good boy and he genuinely loves the reader, but i think if he did stumble across the two of them he’d just shut down and walk away. it’d be the biggest betrayal in his eyes - it wouldn’t matter if you were drunk or he was, who came onto who - the two most important people in his life going behind his back would just break him :( and i think he probably wouldn’t give either of them a chance to explain

but if we’re talking degenerate shin... 👀👉👈

imagine if invidia! reader gets pregnant and Shin thinks it’s his, but its actually his dad’s 🤭

oooh kuroo would be such a smug little shit - he’d get extra touchy feely with the reader, drop ‘casual’ hints, basically doing everything outside of straight up admitting it to him, just to see how far he can push until shin starts to doubt whether he’s actually the father - when it’s just the two of you though... i think he’d be a little softer - but equally as possessive - you’re his, and so’s the kid growing inside of you

Kuroo: son do you know what a cuck is? Shinnosuke: no? Kuroo: wOULD YOU LIKE TO FIND OUT - @south-korea-cakes

dagshjskl i snorted when i read this but you’re not wrong lmao

hi rhi! i have a question about Lion’s Den! did oikawa purposely set the reader up to witness his true nature? or was it chance that she saw him kill?

no - i think he’d rather have kept you in the dark a little longer and tried to let things develop ‘organically’ but he’s not upset that you did find out the truth - gives him an excuse to move things along and take what he wants 👀

hey rhi:) soo my boyfriend of two years just broke up with me and so far a major comfort has just been rereading your stories. something about feeling desired, ya know? anyway, thanks for making me feel a little better <3 - @theofficialhufflepuff

aw i’m sorry to hear that :( i’m glad my fics can help make you feel a lil better - sending love bby! 💕

omg i adore everything in the soulmate series hello !! would any of the soulmate pairings ever end up feeling lowkey competitive w/ the other?? like all of them seem to mutually respect the other but would there ever come a point where smth pushes them into trying to outdo ur other soulmate when it comes to ur affection?

also have i mentioned how much i love ur writing bc i love ur writing

hmmm, not so much with oikawa & iwa or ushijima and tendou because i think they have pretty rock solid relationships with each other prior to the reader coming along - if they did it would only be minor stuff

the twins on the other hand - good fucking luck with them because they’ll turn everything into a competition. the moment one twin thinks you’re favouring the other too much expect to get dragged across the room and forced to spend ‘quality time’ with the other. it’s all very petty and exhausting and there is no possible chance for you to win. but thank you sweetheart!!

tonight im thinking about The Final Girl! boys forcing you to share a bed with them for the first time. With Kuroo’s face buried in the crook of your neck, one big hand palming your breast for good measure, Bo holding onto your waist, and Kaashi’s legs tangled with yours. its suffocating, really😪😓

asdgdhjdkdl suffocating? yes. now where do i sign up?? 🥺

you are so talented in writing it's crazy!! just the way you articulate things is ugh *chef's kiss*. i hope you are doing well and not receiving hate 🥺 ily pls

ahhh thank you so much, messages like these always make me so happy! ily bby! 💕

more karasuno first years soon? 👀

who’s to say?? i don’t have any full fics planned but maybe some concepts and thirsts??

if you make a yandere msby fic i’ll literally lose it i love your writing

👀i am considering it

[soft-ris]

The way I went HAM with this bruh it ended up so fucking long before I even realised it 😂 I‘m ngl, it did take way longer than usual bc I’m not the best at straight up not/sfw, but it was also fun to write sooooo🥴 and I may have gone off tangent...so I’m so sorry 💀

P.S. Thank you for requesting and being my first not/sfw requester!! I hope u liked this!!

———————————————————————

Mine - Risotto x Fem!Reader

Summary - Risotto? Jealous? HAHA jk...unless 👀

Note - Reader got a vagina & boobs

Warning - Not/SFW (coitus)

———————————————————————

He understood you were attractive. There was no denying that. He, himself, was very attracted to you, so it was no surprise when he catches more than a few pair of eyes ogling at you the way Melone would at ankles.

Again, he understands why...but that doesn’t mean jealousy won’t inch it’s way towards Risotto’s heart anyway. Then again...maybe jealousy wasn’t the right word, since jealousy would mean he was envious of the people lusting for you, and he definitely was not envious of that.

It seems territorial would be a more appropriate description.

While he understands he doesn’t own you and you’re not his property, he just can’t help but feel this way right now. So much so that when he spots one of them making their way towards you with a lecherous gaze, Risotto immediately fixes them a glare as his hand comes around your waist to grip at your hip (something they understood loud and clear).

Now, this is a surprise to you though.

Being Risotto’s long time girlfriend also meant you’re well versed in how much he isn’t for PDA, so his hand being tight on your hip and his body almost sticking to yours, while definitely not un-welcomed, is a little...alarming?

“Is everything okay, Ris?”, you questioned, completely oblivious to what had just transpired. Worry was beginning to seep in as you realised how tense he was, and his eyes still not meeting yours.

“Risotto?”, softly, you called out his name. Your hand cradles his clenched jaw, and just like that, he relaxes into your touch and his eyes return to yours.

For a moment, he wonders why was he acting like that, but before he could dwell on it further, you’ve led him to an empty room to dig the issue out of him. Risotto reluctantly explains what went on and how he felt and let’s you know how sorry he is for acting in such a childish manner, but you simply hush him with your lips and tongue moulding into his own.

His hands come to cup your cheeks in his reciprocation, and he presses his whole self up against you, now flush between the cool wall and his warm body.

Kissing him so intimately will always be one of your favourite activities. His lips were plump and soft against your own, his tongue so wet and hot as it swirls with yours, and his teeth bitting and pulling at your lips — you know it shouldn’t turn you on this much, but it does and you can’t help yourself when you grind your core against his.

Risotto grunts in pleasure. The friction is so pleasurable that his hips subconsciously matches your movements in fervour, and he feels himself losing control with you.

He pinches and pulls at your naked nipple, bra now pushed up against your collarbones, but who gives a fuck when everything felt so good?

“Risotto...”, you moaned, “Will you take me?”.

Your eyes were hazy with lust, your lips were swollen and kissed red, your nipple taut and sensitive under his deft fingers, and your sex now damp and humid having being humped so eagerly against his bulging erection.

“You’re so beautiful...”, Risotto mumbles. He engulfs you in a tight hug while his lips peppers open-mouthed kisses onto your neck.

He wants to fuck you, he really does. Risotto wants nothing more than to drive his fat cock in and out of your sloshing cunt until your juices stain the carpet below, he longs to suck and bite and bully your breasts and neck as he toys with your clit until you’re a shaking mess, he‘d love to watch you devour his erection while playing and scratching at his balls and thighs and anywhere you can reach until he can’t help but fuck himself with your mouth — but he doesn’t like how anyone could just interrupt you two. He doesn’t want someone seeing the both of you in such a raw state. He-

“...and I’m all yours, beddu.”, you cup his cheeks once more to place a loving kiss on his lips. A gesture that conveyed the trueness of your words, so sweet and so gentle only to him...only for him, and Risotto‘s previous doubts blanked.

His feels his heart soar as he plants a big ol’ smooch on your lips. With those words, it’s as if you’ve melted him into a warm puddle, but at the same time, awakened a very primal part of him. He wants to mark you, to claim you, to let everyone know who you were with, who you gave yourself to.

He wants makes you wholly his and only his, and he’ll make sure everyone outside knows that until the day they die.

Risotto could feel his very cock twitch against his pants at the thought of it, something he noticed you felt too as you sank your nails into his shoulders and resumed grinding on him, feeling even more heated than before. In this very moment, you wanted only to feel his thick, throbbing cock rubbing and thrusting into your clenching hole...so, Risotto hikes up your leg and slides his hand into your damp underwear to prepare you just for that.

His fingers are a little rough and big, but extremely practiced to please you in its movements. Two digits enter you with ease and he begins fucking and stretching you with them. His wrists snap unrelentingly, the base of his palm massages at your sensitive ball of nerves, and his kisses deepens when you take out his leaking cock to stroke.

You feel it twitching in your hand, the texture of his pre-cum sliding along his length, the saliva dripping down your chin from the messy, tongue filled kiss with him, the monstrous pace he’s setting with his hand and you try to match it, but it’s too fast — Risotto’s too good.

Before you could even tell him, you came gushing on his palm. Your moans of pure ecstasy were eaten up by the passionate kiss, and your body starts to tremble and twitch at how good he made you feel...but Risotto doesn’t let you rest for long before he’s lining himself up at your entrance.

“Mine.”, Risotto grunts at your ear as he thrusts himself up into your tight cavern, entering all at once with such a force that had you arching your torso. He knows you like it when he’s a little rough though, and he’s not wrong. Your standing leg wobbles a little and you’re trying your best to keep from whimpering too loud, but fuck was it hot as hell to hear him say that.

Once again, Risotto doesn’t give you a break and proceeds to fuck the living daylights out of you.

Your constrained cries of pleasure are mixed with his deep groans as he thrusts and thrusts and keeps thrusting his aching cock into your sopping pussy. You try to move your hips and match with him so he’s not doing all the work, but when he’s fucking into you this hard, all you can really do is scratch and kiss and bite and moan your brains out. Not that Risotto minds though. In fact, it’s a little bit of an ego boost when he realises that you’re feeling so good that you can’t do anything but call out his name, and god does he love the sound of his name when you’re saying it like that.

The noise of his hips and balls slapping your skin was rhythmic and loud, or maybe because it’s all the both of you could hear outside of your lusts.

You were close. Really close, since he didn’t allow you a breather, so you snake your arm around his neck and the other up to grip a handful of his hair in the way that definitely makes his dick throb.

Risotto moans your name into the kiss, his hips growing awry of the rhythm he set, and his hand sneaks down to rub at your clit once more to help you chase your high. Soon after, you orgasmed for the second time and you bit down on his shoulder to try to conceal a scream. Cumming with Risotto ‘on the job’ had always been intense for you, and this time was not an exception as well.

He fucks you through your orgasm and thoroughly enjoys the delicious way your walls milk him and your whines of overstimulation.

On the other hand, Risotto’s jaw was clenched and his brows were furrowed. Sweat gathered at his forehead and his shaft wouldn’t stop twitching inside of you, and you realised he was close. While you’d love to bask in the sultry groans he’s producing, you knew if you didn’t do something to get him off quick then you’d be spending the entire night fucking. Not that that’s a bad thing, but you’d rather do that at the comfort of your shared home. So with a tight pinch on his nipple, some nibbling on his ear lobe, and a final pull of his hair — Risotto cums into the condom with heavy breaths and quiet moans.

You pepper sweet little kisses all over him as he enjoys the last moments of his high, and a crooked smile forms on his lips when you kiss the tip of his nose.

“Yours.”, you respond with a tender smile. Risotto’s eyes widens and now he’s the one peppering you with kisses, partly because your declaration swelled his heart once again and partly because he’s a little shy about the blush on his cheeks.

The both of you giggle and laugh as you cleaned each other up and head on home, away from everyone else and alone in the comfort of each other’s arms for the night.

——————���————————————————

Beddu - Sicilian for beautiful (males/men)

[haikyuuscreaming]

hi! i love your work so much and i was wondering if you could write a scenario for iwaizumi's little sister dating oiks? sorry if this isn't the kind of ask you're used to lol but thank you for this blog

GUESS WHAT HOES, I AM ALIVE AND VIBING AND IVE BEEN UNINTENTIONALLY SLAVING OVER THIS 

sooooo i accidentally wrote a… 9000+ word fic about this? oops lol ok check it out if u wanna read the monstrosity (WARNING THERES SMUT AND LOSS OF VIRGINITY SO LIKE READ AT UR DISCRETION PLS!!) https://archiveofourown.org/works/22552522

please enjoy the much shorter (only 1k words), alternative ending to the above fic! :) 

-

“Nii-chan, I’m going out,” You call out.

“Again?” Iwaizumi Hajime, your older brother, sounds kind of suspicious because this is probably the eighth time you’ve said you were going outside of the house in what, two weeks? He knows you’re antisocial, introverted, and a house hermit, so you don’t blame him that he’s getting suspicious. “With who?”

“My friends,” You reply casually. You’re proud of yourself for mastering nonchalance, despite your guilt for lying to your big brother. “Himari and Lisa. We’re just hanging out at a cafe.”

“You guys spend so much time together lately. How do you have the energy, I swear,” is all Iwaizumi mutters as he retreats to his room. “Get home safe. You have enough money, right? Text me when you get there.”

“Yes, sir~”

You leave the house as quick as you can. You’re wearing a giant hoodie that swallows up most of your frame, but once you’re a good dozen meters away from the house, you take off the hoodie that makes the spring heat sweltering. Underneath your hoodie is a cute outfit you were proud to put together, but you know Iwaizumi isn’t dumb enough to think you’d wear that to a girl meeting. No, you’re not meeting your friends at the cafe.

You’re meeting Oikawa Tooru, your boyfriend of four months.

You never got to really privately hang out with him before, mainly because you didn’t know how you would keep it up with your usually lenient but nonetheless protective brother on you, but just recently you’ve had the idea of holding this facade where you go hang out with your friends, while in reality you’re just spending time with Oikawa. Even your aforementioned friends Himari and Lisa are in on it.

As soon as you get to the cafe, you spot Oikawa immediately, sitting at a table on his phone, his glasses sliding down to the tip of his nose.

(You know he’s been wearing his glasses more and more lately because you once said they were cute on him.)

“Tooru~” You sing out, shaking his shoulders with playful glee and he whines a little bit about how you messed up his game, but then kisses your cheek as a greeting. It never fails to make you flush red.

“You’re still wearing your glasses?” You note to him, poking at the bridge between the lenses and enjoying how his eyes kind of cross once your finger pokes. “I thought you said you liked contacts better.”

“I do,” He states in such a matter-of-fact way that you feel a little less confident. “But glasses aren’t so bad.”

“You mean you’re wearing them for me.”

“You’re so mean when it comes to teasing me! No wonder you’re related to Iwa-chan!”

You poke his nose in an attempt to frustrate him further, but he only laughs it off and pinches your cheeks. “Hey, do you wanna go order some stuff? I heard they have good pastries here~ And great milk bread, too!” His chest puffs out like it’s an honor he did the extra research, and you laugh at his charm.

“Yeah. You want your usual?”

“Of course I do.”

“Okay. Wait here, I’ll get you milk bread too.”

Oikawa frowns and slides over some money. “You know, you’re gonna make your poor boyfriend feel bad if you pay for everything. I brought money too.”

“Haven’t you been treating me to food for the past, what, seven dates?” You narrow your eyes and push away the money adamantly. “You’re reinforcing gender roles. You’re so sexist!”

“Hey, you know what I mean!!” Oikawa whines to you, holding your hand gently and pushing the money back. “Save the money for more boba or something.”

You decide to relent, but not without a price. “You’re right. Plus, I can just buy more food with your money now that you’re offering.”

His gasp makes you laugh as you stand up. “[Name]-chan!! You’re so mean, you’re gonna make me broke. Again!”

“Hey, I always order something cheap when you treat me!”

“Fair point, fair point~”

You feel your phone ringing in your back pocket as you pat Oikawa’s coiffed locks gently before walking to the rather short order-line, reciting your order in your head. Two pieces of milk bread, chocolate croissants, espresso with extra sugar for the baby over there, and [coffee of choice]. This’ll be fine. You order your treats and once you receive them, you walk back over to your boyfriend.

“I got milk bread~” You sing out lightly, shaking the shiny plastic bags of fluffy bread in front of Oikawa. He grabs them without even bothering to humor you, to which you whine. He laughs, his voice airy and genuinely happy, and kisses you.

The two of you are so engrossed in this happy, warm-hearted kiss that you don’t notice the cafe door swing open and a certain person starts walking towards you.

“Hey, [Name], I was craving coffee so I decided to swing by and- what the fuck.”

You break away from Oikawa so fast that it gives you whiplash, and you’re staring into the eyes of your big brother.

“Nii-chan!”

“What the fuck are you doing with Oikawa??”

“Nothing, nothing, Iwa-chan!”

“Were you two literally sucking face? Oh my god I’m gonna throw up. [Name], what happened to standards? You guys are dating?”

“Nii-chan, I can explain-”

“Iwa-chan, you’re so mean to me!! Of course I surpass [Name]-chan’s standards!”

You’re kind of amused the way your brother growls and drags Oikawa by the ear– and giving you a glare that forces you to follow– and drives you both to your house.

The car ride is awkward and silent, but you enjoy it because it’s funny how your usually lax and calm brother gets so riled up over this. You don’t want to see him mad, but it’s also hilarious to watch your boyfriend get scolded (beat up) by Iwaizumi, no matter how much you love Oikawa.

And as soon as you all arrive at your house, Iwaizumi hisses something into Oikawa’s ear (that you’re sure is somewhat akin to a death threat) and the two of them disappear into Iwaizumi’s room.

“[Name]-chan, please help, Iwa-chan’s gonna beat me up, Iwa-chan this isn’t what it seems-”

“Shut the fuck up!”

“… Have fun, Tooru?”

Ten minutes later, during which you heard Oikawa screaming for mercy and the telltale roar of Iwaizumi’s voice, your boyfriend walks out of the room scratched up but nonetheless happy to cuddle with you.

[we-always-hit-our-ass]

Okay, but I need some Joe Toye headcanons like I need air. Help a girl out

Taglist: @floydtab, @deldontplay, @thatsonefishyboi, @noneofurbusinez, @meteora-fc, @hufflepuffpancakes

I just want to say that i love toye more than i love myself. This boy deserves everything and i mean it!

Btw thanks @adamantiumdragonfly for requesting these lovely hcs, i had a lot of fun writing this! 💕💕

General/Fluffy HCs for Joe Toye

--------------------

-------------------

so you see right here, this man is a professional lover and sweetheart extraordinaire 

you two actually met when running currahee

joe stumbled along the way and you gripped his arm to prevent him from falling

thought it was one of the boys like like luz or guarnere or just practically anybody

boy WAS HE WRONG

he was instantly like !!!!! but it soon turned into 💕💕💕

immediately thinks he died during training and went into heaven

looks like he is having the time of his life, he is by the way

you ask him if he’s ok as youre running along side him

joe nods his head slowly like the cute dope that he is

either of you could have fallen behind or could have run faster but nope!

you two keep the same pace as each other so y’all arent seperated and lose sight of each other

after that, you and joe are close as fuc-

when i mean close i MEANT CLOSE

theres endless laughter and happiness

snarky and sassy remarks from both parties

and you two doing whatever- 

literally toye is one of the people that you can never get mad at-

its impossible for him to make you mad i swear, he’s just too sweet and caring and this man can never do any wrong-

sooooo u and joe might or might not have huge crushes on each other

i'm just saying, but u two totally do-

if you were to walk into a room that joe was in, his eyes immediately go to you, because why not?

like seriously, joe would literally try to freeze the sun for you

but whenever you thank him he’s all like “that’s what best friends are for”-

the easy boys are so done believe me so they just watch in the background while commenting how stupidly cute u both are-

joe enjoys being sweet to you but he’ll never say it

you point it out sometimes while smiling and joe just erupts into flames

joe would never admit it, and this is a very well kept secret of his, only person who knows abt it is HIM and him alone

so basically during eindhoven, joe purposely yeeted his face away when a girl tried to kiss him and no one knew why-

after the day you met him, he made sure that lips were only reserved for u

everyone thought it was weird how he would launch himself away from the girls but you found it cute

you teased him a lot after that day and joe would act like he’s offended but in reality he's so goddamn head over heels for you-

joe legit doesn't know what to do around you, you're just so amazing

you and toye could either be the kids or the parents in the group, its an amazing vibe-

okok but the way he confessed to you was soo MMMM-

joe woke you up in the middle of the night to see the stars

after a few words of persuasion, you went outside with him and with your hand in his as he led the way

y’all sit down and when you gaze up at the sky, holy SHIT it was very beautiful-

toye loved your reaction and the smile you gave him after was worth way more than any fucking treasure-

joe was surprised when he didn’t stutter when he told u how much he loved you-

like if you were sleepy- not anymore! 

you immediately woke up and just stared at him for a good couple of minutes

but damn you told him how much loved him too- but like seriously picture this

midnight, stars, love confessions, and tender and passionate kisses with joe fucking toye-

it wasnt what you were expecting but excuse it was so fucking good-

btw this boy’s spunky attitude will bring you to tears-

like hes overly sarcastic and you would just burst up laughing because its so fucking funny-

one of the things you also love about joe is that he’s a sassy boy who’s actually very sweet once you get to know him

this is one the many things that made you fall from him-

when joey gets tipsy he will lean on you for support and will deny that he’s drunk

toye will also drunkenly say how much he loves you and that youre the best person ever-

toye will end up falling asleep after you run your hands through his dark hair while he’s cuddled up against you-

you fall asleep not so long afterwards

YO- joey boy cherishes everything you give him and he just really appreciate the little things that you do

like if you hold a door open for him or even just pick out stuff that got stuck in his hair i'm pretty sure he’ll think about for days on end

hes also genuinely enjoys it when you talk to him about things you are very passionate about

like toye will literally just come up with the stupidest conversations just so he can hear talk and you can say the same for him

his voice is so fucking perfect and its always immediately recognizable 😩👌

toye will iNDEED bring you small gifts that he thinks you might like-

joey is very VERY protective of you

like if he sees a person making you feel discomfort in anyway he will yeet the poor bastard

he doesn't go completely overboard, most of the time, he just really wants you to be safe

you two still having your weekend passes are VERY rare since sobel likes being a lil bitch

wo when you two actually have it, joe makes sure to make it count

he takes you to the bar sometimes while other times he takes you into town to ditch the noise and his hella drunk friends

um so he takes you around the stores and shops and you two will impulsively buy the randomest shit

the easy boys immediately stop trusting u both with money

yeah the items you two buy are cute but they have no literal use

during one of these trips joe buys you a really gorgeous necklace and you just ascended-

im not kidding

you never took off the necklace off your neck after that day

toye also gives you small gifts and lemme tell this boy even gives you a small camera

both you and toye take pictures of each other with it and the both of you always make sure to keep photos of one another

joe is also one of those boyfriends who has a surprise for you each and every single day-

either he’d take you swimming, riding bikes, eating at a diner, or watching a simple movie together

no matter how simple the activity, joe will find a way to make it the best experience you will ever have-

when watching a movie, joe would put snarky remarks in between the scenes and the experience is just alleviated-

when you two wake up next to each other in the morning, its the most peaceful little thing that has ever existed

sometimes you would wake up earlier and joe would still be asleep with his arms around you

toye will unknowingly pull you closer to him and wont let you go for a very long time-

did i mention toye’s devilishly cute morning voice??? 

his little good morning cuddles are pure and utter fluff and you will never get tired of it!

toye will surprise you with random hugs from behind every single day-

it soon became one of the things that you couldn’t live without

like he so tender, yet firm? and the hug is so fucking comforting what???

toye will hug you anytime and anywhere

his hugs bring you the most source of joy and they just make you so happy

if youre tired when he hugs you, you are immediately energized from the complete act alone

if youre sad, joe’s hugs will comfort you and you’ll just smile into his chest and his arms are wrapped around your waist

when youre angry, you just cool down in his touch- 

his hugs give you life and just repel off any negative emotions

if you were to be honest, toye and his hugs are probably your most favorite things in the whole entire world-

toye is just an overall very caring and hella GOOD boyfriend 

it has come to the point where both of you cannot exist without the other-

you love him with all of your heart and he loves you with all of his 😩💕

------------------------

-------------------------

im sorry for any mistakes that i made and i hope that everything is alright. btw im sorry for me taking so long to write this, i tried my best to finish it! 

but i love toye and he’s complete and utter perfection, thank you very much-

thank you for reading this and supporting me you guys are everything! 😩😊💕💕💕

[floatservices]

wrong numbers/right answers

iwaizumi hajime/reader wc: 3.9k 

When Hajime had started catching feelings for the mystery number, he'd rationalised that it could never be you. Slowly but surely, his mystery texter had been getting him out the slump Iwaizumi had been feeling over his unrequited feelings, and instead of wondering about you, he was wondering when the next mystery number text would come.

But now you're her and she's you and his brain is going to explode. He doesn't have enough brain cells for this.

Curse this stupid, stinking crush.

“You've been on that damn phone for, what, 30 minutes now?” Iwaizumi growls, waving Oikawa's less than impressive test score across said boy’s face. “What are you, texting a new girlfriend?”

“Iwa-chan, I'm flattered you think I have a new girlfriend!” Oikawa’s ecstatic, typing with one hand and snatching away the sheet away with the other. “But no, I'm just trying to have a good time with our favorite classmate,” Oikawa metaphorically dangles you in front of him, and smirks as his friend’s eyes widen. “Oho, I’ve got your attention now, have I?”

Iwaizumi wrinkles his nose, trying to get the test back. “Shut up, shittykawa. If I knew her better, I'd apologize to her because she has to deal with the likes of you.”

The spiker makes a wild lunge for the test paper, because they came to his house to study, not so his disgraceful excuse of a best friend could tease him about a girl, but Oikawa leans just out of reach, his long arms stretching as far as they could.

“You wound me, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa chuckles, shuffling the paper under the cushion he was sitting on. “My test score wasn’t that bad, anyways-“

“You call a 52% a good grade?!”

“Well, it's a pass, isn’t it? I have more important things on my mind, anyways, like beating Ushiwaka, texting my favorite girl in class, don’t you have something to do? Oh, wait! I forgot that you were-”

“Shittykawa," Iwaizumi cuts in, a seething expression on his face, but Oikawa pays no mind. "If you finish that sentence-“

“-Socially awkward! You can’t even talk to her without blushing! But funny how that doesn’t happen when you talk to anyone else like that, hmm, Iwa-chan?”

Hajime gets up and launches himself across the chabudai, tackling Oikawa, a fist raised.

__

It’s 8am when Iwaizumi gets a text.

From: ??? To: You rinrin this is you right!?? buddy???!! pls send me ur jpnese lit hw I NEED HELP otherwise tatsuya-sensei will have me impaled bro my entrails will be sacrificed to whoever the hell Yamada Kai was, helpppp!

There’s a string of different crying emojis after that, which Iwaizumi finds adorable. He doesn’t know who this is, but it’s obvious that the poor guy went to Aoba Johsai. The woman who taught Japanese Literature was famous around the school for being a harsh marker and a harsher teacher style. They’d been studying Yamada’s works so far, and Iwaizumi expects whoever sent it was panicking- it was 8, school started 8:30, and English was their second lesson of the day (or it was for tomorrow, because Classes 3-4 didn’t have Literature today, but Iwaizumi assumes it’s today, otherwise they wouldn’t be this distraught.)

He glances at his watch- he had a few minutes to spare. He fishes his work out his bag, and he thanks God he's used his best handwriting (Tatsuya-sensei had caused quite the scene photocopying his work last time, showing off to the entire Class-2 how “insufferably illegible” his print was,) hoping whoever was behind the screen could read it. He takes a quick picture of it, making sure it’s not blurry and the script is clear before sending it off and hurrying out of his house.

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You [sent: IMG20151219] you’ve got the wrong number but i’m from seijou too. this is the worksheet you mean?

From: Crying Emoji lmao To: You aaa i’m so sorry for sending it to the wrong number!

but yes, it is the right one! thank you so much, i owe you one, mystery man!

Oikawa’s waiting for him outside as always, and Iwaizumi deliberately speeds up so he can walk past. Behind him, Oikawa makes a sort of whine from the back of his throat, quickening his pace to fall in next to him.

“What’s gotten you so cheery?” Oikawa asks, and Iwaizumi realizes he’s been smiling. He replaces it with a scowl, quickly shoving his phone in his pocket so Oikawa can’t get anymore curious.

“It’s no thanks to you.” Iwaizumi quips, and Oikawa pouts.

Iwaizumi only risks a reply when he gets to school, because Oikawa Tooru will never shut up if he sees him texting someone that is so obviously a girl.

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You how do you know it's a guy..? for all you know i could be a girl, you know.

He gets a reply soon after.

From: Crying Emoji lmao To: You well, if you are a girl, i'm sorry!! i didn't mean anything  by it... also i kinda assumed you were a guy because of your handwriting.

He should be offended by that, right? Right. He’s offended by it. He's about to defend himself when his phone buzzes with another message.

From: Crying Emoji lmao To: You SHIT I'M SO SORRY THAT WAS RUDE TO SAY!! I BET YOU WON'T TALK TO ME ANYMORE

IT'S UNDERSTANDABLE IF YOU DO...

He blinks, an ungraciously amused smile making it's way onto his face. He leaves his phone alone for the school day, because his teacher has just walked in. He figured he'd reply to you after school, just before volleyball.

It's kind of a mistake, because he comes back to 12 more messages, each message reading a variant of "I'm sorry," the amount of sincerity in each message growing as the hours passed by. He figures it's time to ease the stranger out her misery, and begins typing his reply.

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You no need to get worked up on it, lmao   you planned on talking to me again?

While waiting, he has enough time to go to the clubroom early and change out of his school uniform to his jersey. He's halfway through fixing one half of his laces when his phone pings.

From: Crying Emoji lmao To: You it's because i thought i owed you one.... but i guess if you don't want to talk it's okay lol

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You i hope it's not me that offended you this time. i do want to talk. you seem... cool?

He hits the send button, rereads it, and recoils. That sounds awkward.

Iwaizumi starts typing more.

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You besides, you don't know me. how are you gonna give back (whatever. i don't know how! you're the  one that wants to owe me.) if you don't even know me?

From: Crying Emoji lmao To: You won't it be funner if it's a mystery?

i guess... we could help each other out! anytime we need hw help we just call each other, like a private help line.

(also, why the question mark? of course i'm cool!)

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You i think that sounded less creepy in your head.  

(sure, you're cool. [heavy sarcasm, if you can't tell.])

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao

is that a no?

(rude!)

Iwaizumi stares at the screen. Well, he didn't really mind. And whoever this was sounded pretty trustworthy, and not a random creep that pretended to be a Seijou student in their free time. His time to deliberate is cut short, because Oikawa slams the clubroom doors open, singing a Christmas carol Iwaizumi didn't recognise, along with Hanamaki and Matsukawa, who were discussing what kind of forfeit Oikawa had to pay today if he didn't set as well as he should; ramen or oden?

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You fuck why not

i'll be looking forward to... being helped out? bye.. i'll talk later.  

my best friend is here and i'm not ready for him to annoy me straight to satan's asscrack.

Iwaizumi whips the phone away from Oikawa's line of vision, only letting him see his asscrack remark. (It backfired, because Oikawa spends all of the time from putting his shoes on to the start of practice whinging.) The boys slowly file out of the clubroom, Kunimi shutting off the lights as the door softly clicks closed.

Iwaizumi's phone lights up in his blazer pocket, a simple "see you later!" on the screen that brightens the whole room up.

___

It's two weeks later when Iwaizumi needs the help he's been promised. He opens up his chat- they'd just been talking last night about Seijou's annual fair, and what they each were going to do.

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You hey english is kicking my ass

can you help a me out please

To: You From Crying Emoji lmao ofc !! what do you need help with

i would let u copy my answers but i feel like you actually have to learn english at some point phone-chan lol

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You the english were on crack when they

made up their language i swear

does the sentence "the star shine brightly" work

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao

LMFAO

weh that's a trick question

"shone" is for no object and "shined" is for when here's no object. so like shone works for 'light' and shined can be for like

a car headlight

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You what the hell

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao ikr english is crazy

you also forgot the "d" at the end lol

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You that one is on me that's simple

but the other thing isn't. aren't the both shining anyway? what's the point in having two. i hate this devil language i swear

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao

if it helps no one really cares and i think

you could get away with either english has a lot of rules and no one follows them sooooo... it's whatever!!

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You

try telling that to fukuoda-sensei i swear that guy has a grudge against me or smthn

To: You

From: Crying Emoji lmao WAHAHAHA i had him last year.... he literally hates fun i don't think i've ever seen him smile

good luck with that phone-chan :P

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You

one last question btw

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao

ooh okay shoot!

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You what's 好きな食べ物は揚げ出し豆腐 in english

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao ...

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You don't tell me you don't know :(

To: You From Crying Emoji lmao phone-chan, if i say i'll make your agedashi tofu for the festival tmrw will you please stop making vague hints  towards it for the rest of the night?

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You :)

To: You From Crying Emoji lmao the things i do for you, phone chan!

___

"Iwa-chan, don't eat too much." Oikawa says, blinking as he tries to process the sheer amount of beancurd his friend is wolfing down.

"Says the person who hogged all the milk bread once." Iwaizumi retorts, rolling his eyes. "This is one plate of tofu, unlike when you once wasted 2000 yen to buy the school's entire daily stock of milk bread so you could eat it." He pauses to finish another cube of his favourite food. "And school milk bread doesn't even taste that great."

"It was cheap, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa tries to defend himself. "Makki, Matssun, help me out here!"

Matsukawa only shrugs, and when prompted by Oikawa to give a 'real' answer, he sides with Iwaizumi, apologizing sheepishly.

"Sorry to admit it Captain," He chuckles, "But I don't really like school food anyways."

Iwaizumi shoots Oikawa a teasing smirk, and Oikawa's just about to say something when Hanamaki pipes up.

"I like it," Makki makes a non-committal gesture, and Oikawa looks happy with that. "I mean, sure, school food isn't that great but I think the milk bread is the only good thing about it."

"Like striking gold in a coalmine!" Oikawa nods his approval, and Iwaizumi just sighs. Looking around, he spots you out of the corner of his eye, looking as good as usual and serving a few parents and students. He knows he can't call you because he'd end up sweating through his blazer, so he asks another classmate instead.

"Okuhara-kun," He calls, waving to a boy in his class. "Do you know who made the tofu?"

The boy shakes his head. "Whoever it was came early to drop it off. It had a note with it though."

This gets Iwaizumi's attention. She'd left something for him? "Oh? What did it say?"

"Uh- this is an exact quote, by the way- 'Phone-chan, don't you dare!'" Okuhara replies, drawing out quotation marks in the air. When Iwaizumi lets out a loud laugh, he takes it for disbelief.

"Is it... really that funny?" He questions, looking bemused.

Hajime grins. "Not really."

____

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You you didn't even drop any hints!

all you gave me was a note that told me to go away

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao i knew you'd go looking, phone-chan! my intuition is as good as ever!

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You unfair. that was like, my best friend's level of unfair.

so unfair that i'm thinking about moving my best friend back to the top of my favourites list :/

That was a bold faced lie. Oikawa had never been on the top of his favourites list: that was reserved solely for Makki.

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao you wound me!

who is this best friend?

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You

not telling lol

you'd know who i was then

To: You

From: Crying Emoji lmao spare hint ma’am?

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You you didn't give me any!

and you're the one who wanted to keep it a secret in the first place :/

...but fine.

he's on the volleyball team

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao oikawa!!??

To: Crying Emoji lmao

From: You ... :( yeah

see i told you!

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao actually, i don't know the vb team that well. oikawa's one of the only guys i know  because he's popular. and loud 

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You oh so i’m not popular?

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao aww phone-chan it’s not like that <3 ur popular in my heart :)

Iwaizumi curses at the blush that follows reading that. He will not allow himself to get flustered over that, it was a joke!

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You gee thanks 

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao besides i still know the third years! i'm just saying i don't know them that well!!

hanamaki, matsukawa and iwaizumi. they're a close friend group, so i expect one of then is you

When he reads his name, he doesn't know whether to deny it completely, or confirm that it's him. Hajime puts his phone down and paces for a bit, wondering if he's fucked up. When he checks his phone again, chewing on his lip, he guffaws at the message they've left.

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao ...judging from how you're not replying, you are.

but since i don't know which one, i'll decide on calling you phone-chan, yeah?

When Iwaizumi met whoever they were, he was gonna give them a lecture of a lifetime about not being a smartass.

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You fine, yeah. i am one of them. but now you owe me a hint too!

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao

well, i suppose i do!

i'm one of the girls in the class that actually has oikawa's number. he half forced me to give it to him, actually, but it's still been fun talking with him.

(not as much as talking with you, phone-chan!)

and i also totally get why he's annoying.

Iwaizumi feels a tiny bit of jealously bubbling up- irrational, because he's only been texting them for about half a month. His friend's statement about liking talking with him more than Oikawa makes him a little pleased, because people didn't usually pick his pretty best friend over him (selfish, yeah, but he's tired of girls asking him to deliver chocolates to the setter and befriending him in hopes of getting closer to Tooru.)

But girls who had his number? Only the ones Oikawa actually had an interest in.

The grand total of the people in his class with the brunet's number was three, because as courteous and as flirtatiously he acts, he accepts and turns down people normally, and doesn't like hurting girls as much as his playboy rep boasts (Iwaizumi's always liked that about him.) The three girls he knew of consisted of Aoi, his ex, Reina, who unbeknownst to Oikawa at the time, swang the other way, and...

You.

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao i know that aoi, reina and (name) has his number...

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao well, one of them is certainly me!

we're both down to three, phone-chan. even ground!

Iwaizumi feels the world cave in on himself, reading the message over and over. Aoi was a nice guy, but he was also the same brand of pompous that Hajime disliked and Oikawa had found cute. They’d ended it horribly, so Hajime was decidedly not looking forward to the possible outcome that it was him, so he casts away the thought before it can solidify in his mind’s eye. Reina didn’t even like guys, so if you were you…

Huh. His mouth’s gone dry suddenly.

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You cool cool

 hey i'm gonna head to bed i gotta emotionally prepare for voluntarily walking into japanese lit class with tatsuya sensei on my ass

sorry to cut it short

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao aw don't worry about it phone-chan <3

good night! and see you tmrw, whether we know it or not!!

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You sleep well

Iwaizumi curses during the 5th hour of trying to sleep. Curse this stupid, stinking crush.

___

He wishes he hadn't asked. He's fine with his favorite crying emoji user knowing who he is, but knowing that it's you sort of struck a pang in his heart that couldn't be undone. He can't concentrate in class, and though he fights it because Oikawa's caught on to this habit, he finds himself staring at you instead of listening to the teacher. The whole situation was annoying!

First he thinks you're cute but he'd chalked it up to never working out because Oikawa had managed to snag your number. Then Oikawa assures him that it's platonic and they only talk about school work which is, to say the least, bullshit, because Oikawa can't actually text without getting distracted. His best friend has a tendency to rant about volleyball or start gossiping when his phone is within reach, and it's why his study sessions happen with Hajime next to him (and even with him, Oikawa still manages to get his grubby hands on his phone.) His best friend was absolutely up to something, and it had been killing Iwaizumi that he didn't know what it was.

And then he'd gotten that cute, fated, statistically impossible text from a wrong number, and fallen into a cute flirting-but-not-really routine. They were kind, sweet, and willing to help him with trivial things like homework and make him his favorite food.

It was easier not really knowing who it was! That was mean to admit, sure, but even when Hajime had started catching feelings for the mystery number, he'd rationalised that it could never be you. Slowly but surely, his mystery texter had been getting him out the slump he had been feeling over his unrequited feelings, and instead of wondering about you, he was wondering when the next mystery number text would come.

But now you're her and she's you and his brain is going to explode. He doesn't have enough brain cells for this.

Hajime sighs, looking away from you and back to his worksheet. Algebra stares back at him with no mercy. "I have no brain cells." He mutters, amending his thoughts. In the seat next to him, Oikawa chuckles lightly.

"You've got enough to stare at her, though." He whispers, and Hajime feels his blood boiling. "I swear, when the bell rings, I'm going to-"

The teacher clears her throat loudly. "Iwaizumi-san, if you could refrain from speaking until I've finished..."

Iwaizumi feels his hot rage flood into his cheeks as embarrassment instead. "Of course, sorry sensei."

You catch his eye as he averts his eyes from the teacher, and you smile encouragingly. Hajime thinks the knot in his forehead gets worse. He feels himself go hotter, somehow, and quickly goes back to looking at his math equations. Oikawa's still fucking smirking.

"Denial, Iwa-chan."

There's something fishy in the way that Oikawa texted the group chat about getting lunch. Firstly, Oikawa liked western food for whatever reason, and whenever he asked to go out, he would picked a pricey French place. The rest of the team would debate for about 8 minutes before usually settling on a cheap soba place near the town centre. He'd claimed it was for a post-midterms celebration, and since the Christmas holidays had started, they might as well go somewhere altogether, as a team.

But Oikawa's suggested this expensive ramen place (which... alright, it's not like Oikawa never eats Japanese. But he doesn't prefer it, and Hajime is paranoid about whatever plan his best friend has hatched) and instead of shouting at him to lower the price, Makki and Mattsun agree immediately. Iwaizumi knows Makki is broke this week, after having to buy a replacement volleyball for the one they popped while roughhousing, so he doesn't understand why he'd agree to blowing 2000 yen on a single bowl of ramen.

The rest of the third years decline or agree. Iwaizumi thinks this is for plausible deniability, to make him think it's all alright. But when Oikawa @'s him in chat to confirm for the coming Thursday, he grudgingly agrees. He's wanted to try that ramen place for a while, anyway, and he's putting too much thought into this. It was just lunch with the team. It's fine.

Then the coming Thursday rolls around, and he's been standing outside the ramen place for 5 minutes and no-one is here and he's going to kill Oikawa-

To: [crying baby noises] From: You oikawa i swear to god where the fuck is everyone. i'm going to aim every spike in practice to you i swear. yahaba would help me

To: You From: [crying baby noises] WAHAHAHA it's okay iwa-chan, someone else you like much better than our sweaty volleyball team is coming ☆⌒(ゝ。∂)

To: [crying baby noises] From: You die in a ditch

To: You From: [crying baby noises] you won't be saying that after ur first date! (☆ω☆)

here's her number, since ur gonna need it!

[CRYING BABY NOISES] HAS SENT YOU A CONTACT

Iwaizumi grumbles the entire time he's punching in the number, intending to tell you that you've been set up and you don't need to bother coming, but his phone shows up with an error that he's already got the number saved. He stares at the notification, blinking once, twice, before the elation sets in and-

"Ah, Iwaizumi?" You call his name, walking quickly towards him and giving him a bashful smile. "Sorry I'm late. I wasn't worried because I thought it was just going to be Oikawa talking my ear off, but he texted me to say... well."

He just says your name, blushing but still grinning. You chuckle, and the little display of happiness pushes him to at least try and say something, "Oikawa gave me your number, but..." Iwaizumi trails off.

"He sent yours too." You explain, pulling your phone out and, at last, he's given proof that you're the mystery number and his grin manages to get wider. The cool winter air bites less than it did before. "But I already had it saved."

"Me too." Hajime says, taking a step closer to you and taking a hand tentatively. Your fingers slip between his, and your cheeks are pink from more than just the cold.

"I had a feeling it was you." You admit, still looking at him the way you do in his dreams. "It's nice to finally meet you properly, Phone-chan."

[sleepycoffins-and-benhargreeves]

OMG yes! Both ideas sound so adorable and cute (married AU maybe not 100% wholesome if you know what i mean 👀. Ref. Buffet ep Steven being a bone sucker.. i mean what?) And i'm excited to see what you have in store with your other projects! ❤️❤️❤️ Have a lovely week

I MEAN

I was planning on making BOTH OF THEM SMUT  👀

I shall indulge u guys in a little bit of spoilers of what I had in mind since it’ll take me a while to finish my long fic

Like for the non-married one, I was thinking of Standrew just video chatting for xmas and Steven is obvi, a bit sad about it cuz he misses hugs and kisses, but at least he gets to see Andrew and that’s great and they drink some wine and all that, BUT Steven hasn’t really drunk in a while and the wine Andrew bought for them (via delivery) accidentally has high content... Sooooo, some nice Standrew video cam sex for all ur thirsty quarantine needs  👀

tbh, I have another video cam sex idea, still haven’t written it yet too but soon lmaoooo

THE MARRIED ONE THOOOO OHHHHHHHHH SUCH GOOD THINGS AND THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THE BONE SUCKER REFERENCE

Can you all just imagine, they’re having a lovely Christmas dinner together, there’s lots of cuddling, softness, and just downright tenderness and then Andrew makes one little dirty comment and it gets Steven all flustered and horny, so imagine Steven going down under the table and sucking Andrew off after they finish eating dinner and shiiittttttttt

NOW THAT’S THE GOOD STUFF YO

idk if fireplaces are a thing in American households, do u guys think they have that? I wanna imagine Standrew so impatient and just wanting their hands on each other that they just bunch up a couple of blankets at their living room, the fireplace is close to them and Steven just gets wrecked by Andrew, just pure hot, steamy, loving Christmas sex and Andrew spoiling Steven so so much sdbfjnsdknks

Okay, those are the ideas u gave me, with also some special mention to the bone sucker reference CUZ GOD DON’T WE ALL JUST LOVE THE IMAGE OF STEVEN GETTING FUCKED IN THE MOUTH SO MUCH!? IT IS SO GOOD YOOOOO fbjwenwk

Thank you once again anon, u have given me such an amazing opportunity to not only think of new fic ideas but to also rant about how much of a thirsty Standrew shipper I am lmaooo sbdjvbadskjnk

Have a lovely week too  ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ hope to finish me fics soon so ya’ll can enjoy more standrew content  ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

[urbvnny]

What is your impression of the vampires? I figured you like aaron (coughing) but I want details gurl. Long texts, rants, come on!!!! I really like seeing ur content bc it's just you not trying hard and chilling lol

Thanks for following my shitshow lol if I try people will hate me. You want rants? You got them.

Aaron:

I absolutely adore him and his route so much that I'm afraid they'll fuck it up in EVERY single episode that comes out.

He's absolutely *breathes in* stunning and handsome and beautiful and kind and serious but he's easygoing and cute and sincere and calm (but he's too impulsive when he loses his cool, that's no good! >:C) *suffocates*.

Dummy thicc and just dummy when it comes to more delicate feelings too. A great himbo specimen just like Bel.

I love how his route isn't a perfect relationship where there are NEVER problems, he's willing to try and pour himself out (even though it's hard) to make this work.

I secretly wandered to the garden and the fireplace at all times in Vladimir's route just to talk to him more and more and I was sooooo in love lol I would forget about Vladimir (insert ugly wheeze).

He's the only one we actually invite to our room so far lol he's the king of consent at all times.

Eloise is just head over heels for him and she isn't panicking constantly about not knowing anything bc again, even though he's flawed, he tries his best to make everything work and they talk constantly.

I wish he'd be more attentive, bc that would make life easier for him lol. poor man can't read the stuff between the lines to save his life. That might cause some hurting, bc he has a mentality of doing "what has to be done" and forgetting about the rest.

He also needs therapy. I worry a lot about him.

BUT DAYUM, Eloise is his first girlfriend and my man is already getting the hang of it real good.

I might bawl my eyes out in all three endings.

IF YOU'RE GOING TO PLAY THIS ROUTE: kiss him, pet him, compliment him, hug him, say you love him. He deserves it.

hmmm, he's so fine!

now the other ones without pic or cursive sorted by favourites most to least.

Vladimir:

He's sooooo handsome and he has a really pretty body but not in a sexual light, he's just incredibly beautiful. Like a work of art.

I love how he doesn't think twice about Eloise's safety in ways that don't come from survival. And I love how he just laughs and blushes. I love his done expressions too and how he tilts his head and he trembles when he's angry lol boy gonna explode soon.

I don't like the way he acts like a clam lol he shuts himself out after opening up and he also lies to comfort himself too much. He likes to tell Eloise that she only means a source of food to him but he's got it bad for her really fast and denying that is very hurtful behavior. I do get that he's having a really hard time, but he's grown enough to listen to her attemps.

I also hate how he still thinks he's living in the past and he behaves like Eloise doesn't know jack shit when the girl has been through a lot.

I don't think his feelings on his good ending change out of nowhere too??? But I'm not gonna go there in this post, I just relate, yk?

Raphael:

baby is sooooo sweet! he's really nice all the time and he always listens and worries about us, and he loves to gossip but not about himself, he's an absolute king lmao.

I don't think he's nice all the time. I think he hates talking about himself so he might get angry at Eloise if she tries to barge into his life too fast, so I'll not be to quick to act lol

He talks and talks and talks sometimes and the dialogue bar gets thicc lol I love to see his train of thought go and goooooo

His clothes are simply beautiful and he's so smart and educated.

I feel like he has a hard time when he thinks about his blindness and art. In Aaron chapter 5, if Eloise chooses to talk to him instead of the "shadow person", she asks him why he seems uncomfortable and her mind is somewhere else, but she hears him talking about something sparkling in a ballroom. I think he was probably saying it was a shame he couldn't see the party.

Super powerful and capable baby! He knows how to fight, reads a lot and is super articulated! I love him sooo much :(

Beliath:

This corny, monochromatic himbo. I hated him in the beginning but it was until he pushed the couch and said the dead donkey line lol.

I love how people say just anything and he's like "ion care lol", he never gets offended and he knows what he's doing

I kinda wanted to slap him in the first 3chapters bc he's acting like we're prey while we're just there like "AAAAAARGH LISTEN TO ME UR ENLARGED PIECE OF-"

his hair is good and he's absolutely stunning, specially his smile. He's just incredible.

I didn't like how he treated Eloise when she freaked out (I hated that too bc I wouldn't react like that) when she saw Ivan in the staircase with Raph. It isn't easy to get over the fact that you just died.

I think I'll end up more infatuated with him than with Vladimir, but I'd never be head over heels for him like I'm with Aaron.

Ivan (I'm still bitter)

I like how he sees Eloise and he just says it without any fears or whatsoever, and I like how he's not afraid to say he's sorry but he doesn't expect to be forgiven or for Eloise to like him in any routes.

BUT. He was a big disappointment bc he was just all messy, doing stuff without thinking first, and he never really stopped to think about his surroundings. Yes, I'm saying he's selfish.

The way he was "I can see my ex errday but you can't say shit now let's move on and just live with me hung up on somebody else" also irked me.

His sprites are SOOOOO cute! he's all blushy like ":3 I wuv how positive and shiny u are, Eloise!"

The endings were just utter bullshit and depressing tho. They just did everything wrong when this could've been a route where two very young people that had a BIG altercation involving freaking (bats, I love halloween) DEATH learn to forgive, heal and love each other when they're facing new lives in all ways possible. It was a disappointment.

... ethan. *big fat sigh*

I like how he is nice in Bel's route but in the other ones he's all nuts and talks loads of shit and gets beaten, runs in the sun and he even dies once like???? He's in for a wild ride don't go off like that I'm serious.

He's mad handsome tho and I love me a wavy hair but damn is he a jerk. He tries to kill us many times too, that's hella annoying. I don't like entering a room and seeing him.

I really wanted to help him in the kitchen dialogue when he had that PTSD episode, but he shuts us up. I feel very sorry for all he had to see.

Although I love the parts where we jab and kick his shins and stomach, he was a nice man once and I really hope he can find at least a bit of himself again in his route. He deserves it, even if I don't like the way he acts.

Have I said I love to kick and jab his shins?

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas : Shins-bro

Also on AO3!

TL;DR: Izuku and Shinso are best buds. Thats it. 

shinsou has a terrible mum and he's complaining about it "ironically"

like : "lmao my mum is gonna beat my ass for this shitty mark" and he's shocked when izuku is like 3 seconds away from tears

izuku drags shinso to his house and his mum is home and shinso is Spooked bc,, adult?? friends???

hes so scared that inkos gonna yell at him for doing something stupid but as soon as he walks in the door izuku trips over his own feet taking off his shoes and tackle hugs his mum

so izuku and inko are laughing and like, half-fallen over bc izuku is a chunky boy and shinso is so lost??? at the door and inko uses her quirk to pull him over by the shirt and join in the hug

udhihdsf she!!! picks both of them up and squishes these good heroes in the best mother hug

izuku is laughing and shinso is sh o o k bc this is the nicest hug he's ever had???

inko puts them both down and flushes a little, says sorry for hugging shinso but she hasn't seen her boy in so long! and he must be a lovely young man if he's friends with izuku

she bustles off to go stir dinner on the stove and izuku just grins and looks at shinso

"isn't my mum great?!"

",,,yeah"

he and shinso go to his room and izuku pulls out his old console

admits he used to make his mum play this fighting game over n over when he was little, and that she always used to pick this female hero with a big white cape because she liked her hair. he giggles and tells shinso that if he wants izuku can maybbbeee let him play allmight

he picks endeavour for a sec and asks shinso if je just wants to beat up endeavour for a minute before they really start

it turns into them setting like 6 AI to level 9 endeavours and them both playing allmight to beat the crap out of them

inko walks in w tea and little cakes she made and gasps happily bc she loved that game! so they restart the round with 2 allmights + 1 nana plus all the endeavour AI

izuku and shinso keep protecting inko's character from all the fire bc she doesn't deserve this

izuku shoves a cupcake into shinsou's mouth when he goes to ask izuku something

shinsou like, lights up bc he's never had home-baked stuff before and its sooooo good so he just kind melodramatic puts his controller down and says "i guess this is kamino ward 2.0" as all might gets crispy fried by the AI and shoves the cupcake into his face

izuku c a ck l e s

izuku and inko, melodramatically "we can't let allmight 1 fall!! protect him!!!" and they try to save this idle allmight as shinso watches w icing on his face

inko and izuku save idle allmight and shinso cheers softly. inko shoves a cupcake into hers and izuku's faces and hands another to shinso in celebration

she then ducks out to go take care of the dinner again. izuku giggles and puts dollop of icing on shinsos nose, who sneezes then looks offended that his nose dared to sneeze

shinso tries to lick the icing off he nose

but like

it's not working

and izuku is losing it laughing but shinso is stubborn and won't stop just bc what he's doing is v stupid. they end up w shinso's legs on izuku’s bed w his back on the floor, izuku leaning against the bed. shinso isn't really sure why he thought this was a good idea

and they run through English homework and shinso and izuku are both shockingly good and both refuse to admit its bc they spend too much time on tumblr/youtube

shinsou: gee izuku why are u so good at english

izuku, who has been reading self insert all might x reader fics for like 50% of his life: no reason :)))

fdguhdfghufh shinsou, who has been reading angsty fics of all his faves instead of going to therapy: wow same ,,,

also im sorry but, izuku def reads allmight self insert that isn't like "uwu dating you" but its like "what if allmight was ur best friend" or "allmight is your secret dad??? uwu"

u know all those old ass watt pad fics where one direction adopts u, that but all might and all the chapters are just

all might tucks u into bed after a hard school day and tells you he’s proud of you

all might fucking detroit smashes ur class bully into the concrete

u and all might attend the premiere of his latest docuseries and u cry bc there’s a whole preface abt how u changed his life for the better and he could not ask for a better child

izuku and shinso go through their old tumblr/wattpad/deviantart accounts and cry laugh

its all in terrible english and one of the comments is "are you 10 or can you just not speak english"

6 years later, izuku responds

"both, actually"

izuku writing vent fics but they’re like

“all might punches my classmate bc he stole my fuckign apple juice kacchan i hate u”

"all might tells me i don't need my fuckign dad i haven't seen since i was 4 and he becomes my new dad"

“all might tells me i have no bedtime and makes my mom dinner bc she’s stressed and she needs a nap”

"all might adopts me and marries my mum and has a kid who becomes my brother and best friend"

he wrote them all between 6-12 he started writing better shit when he was 12 and made a new account (better, not good.)

his first round of fics were like all in first person and shinsou’s w h e e z i n g like why’d u think this was a good idea. izuku s cryign bc hE WAS SIX HITOSHI STOP IT. its like really terrible english too

izuku is mad but then he realizes he was hitoshi's deviantart open and he g r i n s (its all shitty drawings of cats and his OC Hero ) there are like twenty pictures of his actual cat taken on a shoddy ds camera

also as like, a soft dumb thing izuku is like speed typing on his laptop and shinsou is like??

izuku shushes him n tells him he wants to finish it before dinner

what hes done

is he wrote one of the shitty self insert fics, intentionally shittily but w allmight as izukus dad and eraserhead and shinsous and they live together for no reason at the "hero apartments" and can be brothers

shinso is laughing and crying at the same time and izuku is like

",,,, im gonna send it to present mic"

"nO"

"do you think ill get extra credit?"

"nO DOnT DO IT"

izuku in retaliation sending in some of shinsou’s oldass oc comics and mics just

“i mean

it’s in english,,,”

they get extra credit but it's not really helpful bc they both had As now they both have A plus' but dont wan them

(mic sends it to all might and eraserhead but like, redacts shinso and izukus names and aizawa is twitching w either rage or laughter, all might is bright red and giggling like an idiot)

pls the teachers gc is just “all might and eraserhead tuck u in and call u a Good Boy” for the next three months

as a running joke, whenever they can, that's what izuku and shinso write for English

like in german we had to write plays and act out little skits in german. in english, they do that but like, izuku is eraserhead and shinso is a cat stuck in a tree 

they have to write sentences w different words? and they get "comfort" "rescue" and "light" and its all shit like

"my dad eraserhead rescued me from homework because mic is terrible"

"all might's fatherly love lights up the hole in my heart"

"the fatherly aura of allmight and eraserhead brings me comfort on my darkest days"

izuku gives the ol puppy dog eyes to aizawa who begrudgingly lets them sleep over at inko's house

and there is only one bed! and they cant decide who gets it

so

neither of them sleep in it and they both stubbornly lay on the floor. it takes like 5 seconds for them to start laughing

[alphabees-writes]

Glee - S1 E4 (Preggers)

And from this moment onwards, Kurt Hummel proceeded to steal every single damn scene he was in. I’m actually unironically excited for this one. I didn’t think that could still happen! Here goes!

I will always love this Single Ladies scene. I will always love season 1′s Tina/Kurt friendship. Also, Brittany’s here, inexplicably. Did he pay her for this? In Pixie sticks, perhaps? Or Monopoly money?

“Kurt’s Superstar Playlist” is the most adorable name his playlist could possibly have. All we get to see on it are 4 Beyonce songs, and 1 Gwen Stefani - but it’s a cute little insight.

God sometimes I forget how cute Jenna Ushkowitz is and then this scene really slaps me round the face with it huh!!!

WHY are you filming this, Kurt? What are you using this for? I’d love to know. I’d say it’s just to check out his own dancing technique but it’s in black and white… Where are you posting this!!!

I want that swingy-suspended chair thing he has in his room sooooo bad

Ok now the fact that this is being filmed is giving me fic ideas…

BURT HUMMEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BURT F U C K I N G HUMMEL BABIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God the look of fear on all three of their faces when they see Burt??? Don’t you worry kids he’ll come around real soon…

Burt’s approving nod when he yanks on Kurt’s unitard… God I love this man.

The LOOK on Kurt’s FACE when Brittany says he’s on the football team… I can hear his inner monologue like “bitch we may be in the basement but I will make a window to throw you out of”

Kurt just wants to relate to his old man so bad :( Baby boy he’s already so damn proud of you!!! Also that LAUGH.

He really just slapped Tina’s ass! And she completely rolls with it, the absolute champion. Also, the subtitles Netflix provided me with were (smacks bottom) and I just love that.

Oh god it immediately cuts to the WORST scene. Terri learning to give birth. William Schuester trying to help. Just let me perish, RIB?

Shout out to Kendra’s actress for somehow managing to make her character even more despicable than Terri!

Actually the shit she says to Will here is almost valid… All three of them are fucking awful huh!

Seriously why are Kendra and Terri the best actresses on this whole show? It’s the only reason I care about this fake pregnancy arc anymore…

The teacher’s lounge is always either an arid, desolate wasteland, or the only watering hole within 100 miles where all the thirsty ass teachers congregate. Take your pick.

Why does Will pretend to hesitate before going to sit with Ken and Emma? They’re the only people we ever see you talk to dude!!!

Ken with the psychoanalysis, wow. Just hit her right there buddy!

THAT’S HOW SUE C’s IT!!!

Rachel really just EXPECTS every solo… I almost forgot how bad she was when she started. “Maria is MY part!” Not anymore!! Kudos to Lea Michele for managing to make Rachel really sound like she thinks she’s the victim when she really isn’t.

Tina’s face… She was seriously happy. Season 1 Rachel SUCKS for even trying to take this from her. She IS talented. She IS ready!

Everybody else knows it’s a fat load of BS… Kurt lowers his sunglasses to look at her like she’s a bug beneath his shoe. Also, Kurt, why sunglasses? You don’t start getting hangovers ‘til next episode, sweetie!!

“You’re trying to punish me” I think being a total martyr might be one of Rachel’s worst traits early on in the series. I get that performing is her deal, but she can’t even take a second to at least fake being happy for Tina? Unreal.

Everybody else just moving straight on with it is hilarious. They’re all so happy for Tina and don’t give a shit about Rachel’s melodrama, which I’m living for!

I wanna be all “Finn’s an arrogant bastard for assuming Kurt wanted to ask him to prom, grr!!” But then I remember Kurt’s canonically in love with him at this point, so I’ll let him off this time

Kurt’s devious little smile when he asks Finn for a favour… I love one (1) boy!

AHHH THE TRYOUT SCENE. INCREDIBLE. This might honestly be my favourite scene from season 1. It’s definitely up there, anyway.

Cute brotherly Furt moments. Finn putting that helmet on for him. “Red’s your colour!” And they DON’T make Kurt get all giggly about Finn just being nice to him? Kurt just telling him he’s really cool? Pure.

“Rehearsing–” “PRACTICING!”

Finn tells Kurt he’ll be murdered if he uses his music and Kurt comes straight back with that rum chocolate souffle line. This show would be NOTHING without Kurt.

And THIS is what I mean when I say Kurt was a Gryffindor from the get-go. Even now he’s refusing to be anything less than himself for anybody, even the jackasses that harass him every day when he’s on their pitch.

Shut the fuuuuuuuck up, Puck!

“Hi, I’m Kurt Hummel and I’ll be auditioning for the role of kicker.” What did we do to deserve him?

His starting pose… His hips… The footwork… “That was good, right?” His whole ATTITUDE. THE ROYAL WAVE.

As if the TV network would cancel Sue’s news segment for having a few Cheerios in the glee club?

Oh god. Quinn telling Finn she’s pregnant. The fucking cinematography here… The camera work, the audio mixing…

“Think of the mail… Think of the MAIL…”

Did Quinn seriously just say “Ask Jeeves” told her the hot tub could knock her up? I mean, I know she’s lying, but ASK JEEVES? That should’ve tipped Finn off more than anything else…

Damn. Season 1 really had the power to get me shook, laughing, and then crying in the span of 30 seconds? Or maybe it’s just because I can’t stand seeing Diana cry…  

Sandy lets his kettle whistle for far too long, it stresses me out

Sue just… Offers this fired man a job? I know she’s got Figgins by the balls over the stockings commercial, but come on, surely the council would get involved or whatever???

Rachel sucks right now but god damn it Taking Chances gives me chills every time I hear her sing it… And she’s so cute when they tell her she got the lead!!!

If musical stuff is so frowned upon socially here, how are they expecting to get a full cast for Cabaret? Especially if NONE of the other glee kids are interested?

And there’s no funding for the arts but they have a whole ballet studio on school property…?

Sign #12 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: He just straight up tells Rachel that he’s the only person that likes her, which is wrong for so many reasons

He does have a point about Rachel needing to take a step back sometimes though. I hate that she’s so awful sometimes that I have to agree with Schuester.

He’s not HURTING you Rachel, he’s giving a chance to grow to somebody else!

Jenna did a beautiful job with this solo… Tina’s so cute too! I love her singing this sweet song with her goth aesthetic

This scene between Mr Schue and Tina was almost sweet BUT:

Sign #13 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: He did NOT need to touch Tina’s shoulders, or get that close, or whisper to comfort her.

Don’t take one for the team, Tina! Take one for YOURSELF!

I’ll let him hugging Finn slide because, wow, Finn’s breaking my heart right now…

However I will not let it slide that he’s seemingly taken him off campus for lunch…???? Dude, take him to your office. This is creepy as all hell even if he has good intentions…

“I got this at the school library. Did you know that you can just… Borrow books from there?” Protect him. Protect him at ALL costs. He was so genuinely inspired by watching Kurt make those goals that he went to a library for the first time in his LIFE oh my goodness

Oh god. The camera panning from a random father and his young son, over to Mr Schue looking at Finn? HE’S NOT YOUR SON MY GUY, HE IS YOUR PUPIL. PROFESSIONAL BOUNDARIES!!!

Terri and Will are both brushing their teeth with no toothpaste… Freaks…

Have I mentioned how much I adore those little background choir soundbites between scenes? They did so much for this show…

SHUT! UP! PUCK! Drink your fucking character development juice already!!!

Kurt just casually dropping in Sun Tzu’s Art of War… He just knows that. He’s prepared to just drop that in conversation. Son, why are you so ready for combat,

Also the way Kurt commands their attention? They can rag on him all they want but they all know he’s legit…

Look at all these doofuses in their football gear busting a move. Look at Kurt sat at the front just watching, judging, as he was born to do

MIKE! KILLING! IT! I love that they let us see a sneak peek of his moves… Serious HC that Kurt making the football team dance is the first time that Mike really got to show off his skills

Kurt shooing Mr Schue away like that gives me life!!! Sit down old man

“All right boys…”  And they all look so concerned behind him lmao… “Oh– SNEAK ATTACK back to the ring…” Mike’s trying so hard to keep in time. I love him. OH and there’s Matt! Most valid glee club member simply because he never says anything.

“Comb through the hair… SLAP THE BUTT!” And they’re all trying so hard… 10/10

“I’m your best friend,” says Puck, to the boy he has been consistently fucking over for four (4) episodes, and presumably many years prior…

I really do hate Puck for the first part of this season but god damn does he have some lines. “’Sup, MILF?” “Well, CALL the Vatican! We got ourselves another ImMaCuLaTe CoNcEpTiOn!”

I remember the first time I heard the term “Lima Loser” but I didn’t know the show was set in a place called Lima (I would’ve been, like, 9) and I thought it was lime-a-loser. Like he was going to have limes thrown at him. And it was this big, serious threat…

How the FUCK did Terri get into Quinn’s car? Why is that never addressed? Like, ever? Quinn doesn’t even ASK?

Do this many people turn up to American high school sports events irl??? And do they really play the national anthem? That must get old

Why are all these football players 30… I’m so thirsty for realistic casting…

BURT’S HERE TO SEE HIS SON!!! We love a proud dad.

“I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU!!!” And now he’s doing high kicks. Kurt’s doing the absolute MOST.

I will never understand the rules of American football… And I mean NEVER.

“Ring on it on three” I love that it has a code name. And they were all too busy being dudebros to call it Single Ladies…

The one dude on the opposite team who starts boogying along is the real MVP

NEVERMIND. BURT BOPPING IN THE STANDS IS THE MVP!!!

“Can I pee first?” Legendary

Burt just going “he’s so little…” In the middle of the silent crowd…

MY BOY NEEDS HIS MUSIC!

BURT’S SO FUCKING PROUD I’M ACTUALLY CRYING??? YOU CAN HEAR HIM SHOUTING “THAT IS MY BOY!!! THAT IS MY SON!!!” THROUGH THE WHOLE CROWD!!!!

I feel like Puck seeing Finn and Quinn kiss and then the crowd going silent as he walks away is meant to make me feel… Bad for him…? But we’ve only ever seen him be mean to Quinn, really. You’ve got to earn those moments!

Ah… The skincare routine. He’s thriving.

Burt! Hummel! Is! Proud! Of! His! Son!

Burt… I’m pretty sure he assumed you wished his mother was alive. As opposed to her corpse being at the big game.

Oh boy here it comes…… Chris looks SO young here. So scared. So vulnerable. The way he slightly stutters… He nailed this scene. So much.

He’s gay!

He knows.

Do they make sensible heels in sizes for three year olds…? Asking for a dad

The raw EMOTION on Kurt’s face. It’s killing me.

This is the starting point… “I’m not in love with the idea, but I love you.” And it only gets better from there…

And he THANKS his SON. He’s sure. He’s so sure, Burt, and you are going to be so proud of him forever.

Finn gives Quinn that blanket his dad gave him when he was a baby… Did she give it back? I fucking hope so…

You tell him, Finn! Puck IS an asshole!

MIKE’S IN GLEE!!! SO IS MATT!!! And Puck’s here I guess, yay… He’s got a season or so of sucking to go before I can get excited about that.

“Regionals” here we come? My guy, let’s get through sectionals first…

Rachel’s big, cruel smile when she thinks she’s going to be handed Tina’s solo. Why would she presume that it’d just get handed to her??? I mean, I know why, but like, why… And she has the audacity to look like she’s been betrayed. Not even slightly, hon! You deserve nothing if not getting one solo is all it takes for you to quit!

This Sue’s corner genuinely gets me through some shit. “There’s not much of a difference between a stadium full of cheering fans and an angry crowd screaming abuse at you - they’re both just making a lot of noise. How you take it is up to you. Convince yourself they’re cheering for you. You do that, and someday, they will.” Hits me hard!

This one was longer. Primarily because of Burt, I will admit, but it can’t be helped. Perhaps it’s the best episode of season 1 because of Burt! Now that’s a break through…