#u have no clue how badly he would love to
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fear-no-mort · 4 months ago
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terrible
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johnnieguilbertsgirlfriend · 9 months ago
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hamzah missing you on vacation
talk to me - hamzahthefantastic x reader
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contains: fluff, smut, reader is female, you read the rest and find out
word count: no clue rn but its short
story below the cut
hamzah: hi baby sorry i haven’t been texting n stuff i’ve been busy with martin and mandy yk but i love you sm and i miss you
you: i understand completely :) have fun and dw about me ily too
hamzah: i just got back to my room, u wanna call?
you: ofcc
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hamzah had gone on vacation to curaçao to relax and film videos for youtube and the podcast. he had brought the trip up to you, asking if you wanted to go. unfortunately, you had work and couldn’t take time off because this was one of their busiest months. you were both obviously disappointed, but he understood and you wanted him to go without you and have fun filming. (#securerelationships) when he got off the plane, that was the moment you realised that it was going to be difficult with extra work and no boyfriend, but you were managing so far. however, today you just got home and boy were you exhausted.
your phone went off as soon as you had sent him the last text. you wait 10 seconds before answering it. “hellooo?” you hear hamzah say. “heyy” you reply, matching his energy. “whats up?” “nothingg, i just missed you” this man knows just what to say. “wait facetime me” he says, while the button pops up on the screen. you answer and see someone else with him. “well hello martin” “y/n! how are you?” “i’m good, how has the trip been for you and mandy?” “so good, she loves it. but this guy here is constantly yapping about how much you would love it too.” “aghh, i know, it looks like a lot of fun, much better than what i’m doing haha.” “alright well i’m gonna go back to my room, cya guys.”
martin leaves hamzah’s hotel room to go back to his own. he turns his camera off, but you didn’t think much of it at the time. you can hear fumbling on his end of the phone. “so, tell me about your day.” you think hard, not even remembering what you did, but start giving him a little summary. you hear a zipper while you talk, but continue as he was probably just changing. you hear him release a groan, “hamzah? are you okay?” “yeah i- just wish you were here right now. hearing your voice isn’t enough.” you finally caught on.
“are you… jerking off right now?” his breath hitches a little. “i’m sorry- i just can’t get you out of my head baby. imagining you in a bikini just makes it worse.” he breathes out. your cheeks grow redder, thankful he wasn’t there to see it. the truth is that you needed him badly too. “well, what would you do if i was there?” you ask him in a more lustful tone. he stops palming himself through his boxers, and removes them instead. “i would pull the string from your- top” he starts slowly stroking his dick. you start taking off your oversized shirt, not bothering to wear a bra because you were home alone. “and then, fuck, i would kiss you everywhere and touch your boobs.” you start massaging your breasts, moaning a little. “mhm, and then what?”
he whimpers, barely audible on the phone. “i wish my hand was yours right now baby. i would probably- m’ take off your bikini and fuck you so good.” he groans out while you take off your panties. you insert a finger into your pussy, ”uh shit, hamzah” you moan out, wanting to help him reach his high. his breathing gets heavier, and all you can think about is if he was the one fingering you right now. “you make me so fucking hard babe-“ you push in another finger, rubbing your clit slightly faster. “keep going hamzah” you praise him, making him involuntarily buck his hips into his hand. “i bet your pussy would taste so good right now.” he says, and you stretch yourself more.
“i can’t hold it,” “just let go y/n” that last sentence made you moan loudly and release your orgasm, panting to try to catch your breath. he groans out, cumming on himself, relieved. “i love you so much.” “i love you too” “you’re definitely coming on the next trip no matter what.” you start getting stuff ready to clean yourself up. “i will, and i think im gonna take a shower now baby.”
“mmm, part 2?”
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thank you for the request im so tired and drained rn but hopefully this will hold you guys off for the next one. ;)
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soundlessdreamss · 1 year ago
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Hi!
Can i request lucifer and charlie morningstar with starlight glimmer!Reader?
So the reader was lucifer's child back in heaven and when she saw what her father did without her..She felt anger and sorrow insode herself.. But that didn't stop of her because she fell from heaven to hell...And she changed her appearance so nobody would suspect that she looks similar to lucifer
If you know starlight's cutie mark ability that is different..The reader can collect people's soul and feed the souls to her clock
Her clock is golden one with starlight mark on the behind..And she can time travel but she don't use it alot since she still has some other abilities to keep in control..
And the reader just went to the hazbin hotel just to stay there and help with few stuff... And vaggie knows reader but not that deep..Charlie noticed that the reader had few blonde hair strings like lucifer.. So she thought nothing at first..
And the reader saw alastor as father figure so sometimes the reader calls him father and alastor just tells the reader to call him father which the reader become happy since she didn't had anyone else at all
So when lucifer visits the hotel how he will react?
I could just when lucifer pointed it out alastor would have the biggest grin then spoke
"Oh?,well she calls me her father!"
I wanna see it sooooo badly‼️‼️
It's alright if you don't do it<3
Also can be called the servy anon?
I like your fics sm<3
Hope to see more of it<3
Have good day/evening/night<3
omg I LOVE mlp!! Of course I can write this, I haven’t got that far though so I’m not really sure how starlight glimmer acts but I did a bit of research and I’ll try my best to write this well!
PLATONIC/FATHER ALASTOR X READER X LUCIFER (sorry if this isn’t how u write it, I’m still new to this whole fanfic thing ^_^ ) Also this is kinda angsty, and requests are open!
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When you were still a kid in heaven you saw Lucifer as the best father in the world! He loved and cherished you deeply, you didn’t think he would give you up that easily. Would he?
You wanted to play with him one day and looked everywhere for him but you couldn’t find him. You asked an angel if they had any clue where he was but they said he was banished with his wife Lillth because they rebelled against heaven.
he seriously just left you like that? Without a word? To say you were angered was an understatement. you were FUMING. But you also couldn’t help but feel so miserable and depressed that he just left you like that.
you thought he cared about you just as much as you cared about him. But you were wrong.
After a couple hundred years when you became an adult, all of that anger and sorrow that you had stored you from Lucifer, you finally snapped. You took it out on the angels which led you to getting banished for being rude and improper.
The first thing you did in hell was change your appearance because you knew Lucifer was the king of hell and you really didn’t wanna see him again after what he did to you. (You also kinda regretted taking your anger out on the angels who did nothing to you.)
Your first couple months in hell were agonizing as everyone here was so different compared to the angels and people in heaven. It felt like you were an outcast.
You tried to not use your powers as much but when it got really bad you decided to collect their soul and feed it into your clock. Or you sometimes dropped time in order to collect their soul as well.
As you were walking in the streets of hell one day you heard an advertisement about a hotel and it caught your attention. You looked at the tv for the ad and it described a hotel where sinners can be redeemed if they just try to become better.
It sounded like a breath of fresh air compared to all these other advertisements for clubs so you decided why not visit the hotel? It couldn’t be so bad.
After a couple minutes of walking you made it to the hotel and knocked on the door. You were taken aback as a blonde haired girl hugged you tight and welcomed you to the hotel. But you also noticed Vaggie was there.
The blonde hair girl introduced herself as Charlie and also Vaggies girlfriend. (You congratulated Vaggie in private and also mentioned to not let Charlie know about her identity.)
As you were talking to Vaggie in private after being introduced to the hotel and welcomed she told you that Charlie was Lucifer’s daughter. You couldn’t believe it.
Not only did he leave you behind, but he started a whole family without you even knowing. You were in disbelief and asked Vaggie to not let Charlie know that you were her older sister technically.
You both agreed to it and went back to the lobby. Charlie couldn’t help but notice you had blonde streaks in your hair that looked similar to her blonde hair but she just shrugged it off.
You were also introduced to a man named Alastor and he greeted you very kindly. And before you knew it you guys started growing a daughter and father bond.
He treated you just like his daughter if he had one, he filled the parental role that Lucifer never did.
It made your heart happy knowing that you could finally have a father figure that you knew wouldn’t leave you. You guys bonded over the span of a couple weeks and you accidentally called him dad once out loud.
He didn’t mind though and said that you could even call him dad because he thought it was sweet that you saw him as your father.
As the weeks went by Charlie finally had an idea to let heaven approve of their hotel she just needed to call her father to schedule a meeting with heaven for her.
The one thing you didn’t expect her to do was to invite him over though. Fuck. What were you supposed to do now?! You really didn’t wanna see Lucifer again and panicked internally.
You helped the crew set up the hotel for Lucifer’s visit but your anxiety just rose more and more the closer it got to an hour passing by. (Since he said he was going in an hour)
Once it was finally time to greet him he burst through the door and hugged Charlie tightly since he had missed her, he also greeted kiki, and razzle and dazzle. It hurt a bit seeing how much cared for her but didn’t care for you.
You tried hiding behind Alastor a bit but Lucifer looked at his way when he pointed out the reservations and noticed it was you even with the changes you did to yourself.
His breathe got stuck in his throat and he couldn’t believe it was really you after all these years. Oh how he regretted never taking you with him.
He approached you and looked at you closely before saying “[reader], is that really you?…”
He brushed some strands of hair out of your face before pulling you into a hug. That was not something the other members of the hotel expected.
You pushed him off quickly though as you were still angry and uncomfortable with him.
He didn’t get why you pushed him off, he thought you still missed him after all these years of not being together.
It didn’t take too long for Alastor to connect the pieces since he was good observer. You had those blonde streaks in your hair for a reason no?… that’s cause you were related to the king of hell himself, Lucifer.
Alastor than put his hand around your waist pulling you closer. (Not in a romantic way!!) He than spoke up about Lucifer’s behavior. “Lucifer if you don’t mind excusing me but, what exactly are you doing with my daughter?”
Lucifer seemed in shock when he said that. “YOUR daughter? Oh please, you remember don’t you [reader]? It’s me your father, Lucifer! He had a desperate and nervous smile on his face hoping that you would remember him.
Before you could speak up Alastor cut you off and spoke first “Oh really? That’s quite funny cause [reader] calls me her father.”
The whole room went silent after that. Lucifer couldn’t believe it, Alastor was just playing around was he? You were probably just having an inside joke with him but no, you really saw Alastor as your father instead of Lucifer, your ACTUAL father.
You saw the heartbroken look on Lucifer’s face and didn’t know what to say in response but managed to mutter something out. “I’m sorry, but it’s been hundreds of years since that day happened, you need to let me go.”
After managing to mutter that out you excused yourself and went back to your room in the hotel. After Alastor and Lucifer fought over you and Charlie, (and after Charlie and Lucifer sang the song together) Lucifer knocked on the door but you didn’t answer so he teleported inside your room.
Only to see you and Alastor on your rooms balcony together. You were crying on the floor from the painful encounter and Alastor comforted you saying sweet words to make you feel better.
Before Alastor or you could notice Lucifer he quickly left and went back to his palace and rethought about his choices he made with you. He knew he couldn’t get his daughter back, it was already too late. If only he made the decision to take you with him.
note: I HAD SO MUCH FUN WRITING THIS!! please don’t be shy to send me requests, I’ll gladly write more fun things like this. ^_^
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justwinginglife · 6 months ago
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hii! are u still up for request?cause im back again with another hoshina request 😭 can you do hoshina and childhood friend reader ignoring each other for years because reader thought hoshina hates her existence because she joined the sixth div? (friends to lovers trope with a touch of mutual pinning?)
Well hello again, so glad you rejoined the party! I would be happy to write this for you.
The Hoshina Brothers
You had known the Hoshina brothers your whole life but you never thought that picking between them would cause such a divide.
You hadn't meant to pick between them, you didn't even know there were options. You just thought that when a friend asked you for help, you helped them, like any decent person. So when Soichiro Hoshina, your longtime friend, asked you to join his division to help ease him into his new position as Captain with someone he trusted by his side, you said yes in a heartbeat.
What you didn't realize was that buried underneath that request were his true feelings for you and in his mind, with you so close to him everyday, he'd one day have the nerve to reveal those feelings to you. Adding to the list of things you were oblivious about, his brother, Soshiro Hoshina, was also in love with you and he took your enlistment in the Sixth Division as a sign that his brother had finally won you over after years of what appeared to be an even struggle between the two of them. Again, you had no idea this war between the siblings even existed, you were simply happy to be of help to an old friend.
You really should’ve known better- when you’d agreed to follow Soichiro into the Sixth Division, his reaction should’ve been enough to clue you in. He’d scooped you up in his arms and spun you around and around in circles, exclaiming that you were such a lifesaver. You laughed and thought it was such typical Soichiro behavior. And it was- but only because he was typically head over heels for you, unbeknownst to you.
And you really should’ve known better when you told Soshiro the news and he’d stormed off in anger- you figured it was just a bit of sibling rivalry. And it was, but not for the reason you thought. And that anger, that devastating emotion he must've felt- it led to years of silence between the two of you, years you could never repair, could never get back. Years that took a toll on your heart.
Looking back, there were so many ways you could’ve handled it better but how were you supposed to know that both of your closest childhood friends were equally as enamored with you?
So now, here you are, mouth agape, standing in Soichiro’s office in stunned silence as he confesses his longtime feelings for you and you realize just how badly you’ve misread the situation. How badly you’ve misread the last several years.
You want to give him a fair chance, you feel like you owe his efforts this much at least, so you try to imagine being with him. What would waking up to him look like? You try to picture rolling over to snuggle him, but the person you imagine in your bed gazes back at you with eyes like amethysts. You shake your head, trying not to think too hard about it. You begin to think about coming home to him cooking in the kitchen and when you wrap your arms around him, kissing at his muscled back through his compression shirt, he turns to face you, his dark bangs shifting as he wipes the sweat from his forehead and grins at you warmly. You bite your lip as Soshiro floods your brain yet again.
Either Soichiro knows what you're thinking or your silence is too vast for his comfort because he starts to laugh awkwardly and rub the back of his head. "You know what, just forget it."
Right about now, your heart should be sinking in sympathy for him, feeling guilty for making him retract feelings that were so important to him for so long, but now that your heart knows who it belongs to, it can't help but beat a little louder in your chest, as though Soshiro is sitting smug in its chambers.
You finally find enough of your voice to apologize profusely to Soichiro but he just shakes his head, laughing a little, though the sound comes out somewhat pained. "You should tell him, you know."
You choke on your saliva. "T-tell who what?"
He rolls his eyes but then smiles at you and you're glad you can still make him smile even if you can't give him what he wants. "I mean if you never tell him how you feel, I'd be okay with that, then I might actually have a chance with you one day. But I don't know if you'd be okay with that. So maybe you should tell him, alright?" He ruffles your hair like he always does and then hesitates before finally deciding to plant a gentle kiss on the top of your head. Then he leaves you standing in his office in a daze.
Soichiro Hoshina was many things, but you never thought that he'd actually be right for once. Honestly, the way he handled things was almost always wrong. His crumbling relationship with his brother was one such example, but you wondered if that only made him more qualified to speak on the matter. If maybe he knew what it was like to want to say something and to know the pain of it being too late to say it. You were already years too late. But you hope that maybe some part of Soshiro's brain dreams of you in his bed, in his kitchen too, when he tries to think of anyone else.
And that hope is what finally forces your feet from their rooted position in Soichiro's office and propels you towards the Third Division.
Captain Ashiro greets you at the door. You know her from several meetings you and Soichiro have had with the other Captains and Vice Captains from other divisions, but somehow you've never run into Soshiro at these meetings. He must've gone well out of his way to avoid you and you couldn't blame him.
She leads you to his office where the two of you wait as she pages him. You fidget with your fingers as the minutes go by, staring at the floor because if you looked over at her you'd picture Soshiro's lips on her neck or his hands on her hips. She was taller than you, more slender than you, more powerful than you for sure. You couldn't help but wonder if she was his type, if she was already his girl.
As if right on cue, just to drive that stake deeper into your heart, she says "So what exactly is your relationship with my Vice Captain?"
We don't even have a relationship anymore, you think glumly to yourself. You smile weakly. "Ah, he's an old friend."
"Interesting. He's never mentioned you before."
The stake continues to twist its way through your organs. You think you might just bleed out from the metaphorical damage to your heart.
Then you hear his footsteps in the hallway and your heart, remembering the sweet sound, quiets itself to listen.
"Captain, you called for me-" He steps into the office and the wonderful, rhythmic, nostalgic sound of his shoes against the ground grinds to a halt as his eyes find yours. You think he might just bolt right now.
Oxygen sears your lungs as you draw your next breath painfully, realizing you were right. He does want to bolt. He's already begun to turn around with one foot out the door so you blurt out the only thing you can think of to stop him, "I LOVE YOU DAMNIT!"
He freezes in his tracks.
Captain Ashiro chokes as she hears your words, now understanding the gravity of the situation. "I think I'll be taking my leave now." She passes Soshiro on the way out and shoves him back in the room with you before closing the door. Suddenly all that animosity and jealousy you felt towards her earlier is replaced by immense gratitude at this chance she's given you.
"What the hell kind of a greeting is that??" He hisses at you, turning on you suddenly.
Your cheeks feel like you took a blowtorch to them. "Was trying to get you not to... leave me?" You say uncertainly.
He scoffs. "We don't talk for years and you think a sudden love confession will get my attention?"
You swallow. "Well... you did stop. Why did you stop?"
He looks away. "Cuz anyone would wanna know why you blurted out that crazy shit, don't go turning this around on me." He grumbles, biting his lip.
You take a step towards him and he sucks in a sharp breath but he doesn't back away.
You dare yourself to take another step and then another. You keep taking each aching step, until you're right in front of him.
Then, without thinking, you sink against him, pulling him close. He stiffens but then he leans into your touch too.
"I missed you, damnit. Stupid Soshiro, ignoring me so long." You don't even know when you started crying, you just know that suddenly his shirt is soaked. But he doesn't seem to mind.
He slowly wraps his arms around you. It's a hesitant gesture but it warms your heart all the same.
"Hey, you ignored me too." He complains but his voice is lighter now, almost teasing and affectionate.
"I th-thought you h-hated me." The words come out shaky and pathetic, drenched in a sob.
He runs his fingers through your hair with one hand and rubs up and down your back with the other. "Shh, shh. I didn't hate you- I don't hate you. I could never hate you."
You continue to squeeze him tight and your tears keep pressing themselves against him, like they're seeping into his very being.
He sighs. "Did you... did you mean what you said?"
You peer up at him, confused, still in a daze. "When I said what?"
He flushes suddenly and you wipe away your tears hurriedly, shocked to see his cheeks a color they've never been before and eager to get a better view. "When you... said you... l-lov... fuck, just forget it."
"I do. I love you. Took me a long time to realize it, but I do."
He straightens at that. "You do? You really mean that?"
You laugh against his chest. "You know, typically when someone admits they love someone else, they usually do mean it."
He scoffs but his gaze is softer now. More hopeful.
You take this chance to explain yourself, to explain the last several years.
He's shocked that you were never in love with Soichiro. Then he grins, smugly.
"Yeah, I always knew you were mine." His chin lifts as he holds his head high with a ridiculous sense of superiority.
You roll your eyes, laughing at him. "Oh did you now? And that's why you had to ask again if I meant that I loved you?"
He flushes again and you think to yourself you could get used to that color. You could get used to being the reason for it.
"But you're right though. I'm yours."
Warmth buries itself deeper into his cheeks as he pulls you closer, sighing happily, kissing your forehead over and over again.
"I'll never let you go again. I'll spend my entire life making up for missed time."
And the one thing you know about Soshiro Hoshina from the years you've known him is that he always makes good on his promises.
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yayll · 4 months ago
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Hiii i hope you're feeling better soon :(( I was wondering if I could request a Dazai x reader fic where the reader has PTSD? Specifically, the beginning of autumn kind of triggers her (sorry if it's a confusing i dunno how to word it lol) Could it be fluff/comfort? Btw I love your writing style so badly so pls tweak the idea if you think it would work better! And no worries if you'd rather pass :33
hii angel i genuinely am sorry that this took me a while! (work and life happened a little more than usual, GOT SICK and barely had time to sit down and write.) it was so ivover but i am fine now thank u so much bub!
i REALLY hope you like this and that it's what u wanted, i've never written someone w PTSD before and i was just rlly hoping i didn't mess this characterization up for ur request ahhh. i had such a nice time writing it and i rlly wanted to explore the impact it could have around reader and dazai and him going out of his way even if it could be a little goofy and sappy to make u feel at least a little better even if u can't talk abt it.
i love uuuu thank u again! <3
~ a little something about Dazai noticing harmful patterns and loving you through them ~
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He's been watching you sit by the window for the past half hour as you stare at what seems like the beginning of the new season outside. You were quieter than usual, more withdrawn and jumpy, which could only mean that you weren't sharing something with him- or rather having trouble processing something to the point where you didn't realize he could tell something inside you was on high alert.
Dazai would rather die than see you in such a state, especially during what's supposed to be such an exciting time of the year that's full of the things you usually love to do. Whatever is impeding you from enjoying the leaves falling has to be dealt with the most delicate of methods, but especially with love. If you taught him anything about the past haunting you to the point of mental distress, something he suffered bouts of every now and then when memories made days grow dark, it's that all you need is one person to truly witness you. Just like how you've seen the ugliest parts of him time and time again yet you still look at him with all the stars in the sky, stars he consumes like a black hole waiting to be filled.
Luckily for you, he has an arsenal of things he can try to soothe you with, because he wouldn't be a good detective AND boyfriend if he didn't keep all those context clues in his pocket for a bad day. Mainly though, he was just completely attuned to your every need. You are his happiness, and your wellness isn't up for debate: It's mandatory. He stands up from the loveseat with a deep exhale as he walks over to you, his lips curled in a lazy smile as he tests the waters to see what you could need from him without asking.
"You know, if you stay any more still I could probably paint you like one of those fancy paintings. What do you say, be my model?"
You look over at him from the window, and he can visibly tell you haven't been at ease lately. He suddenly realizes he's just fallen even more in love with you. That there is nothing in this world that could ever let him see you as anything but his heart.
You murmur, a faint smile decorating your serene face.
"Mm, I'm not sure. I don't think I could pose for that long, you know? It would probably be hard to catch my likeness, heh."
He clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes with a playful smirk. Oh how he wants to lean in and worship your likeness with his loving touch, but he decides to take it easy on the physical affection for now, not until he knows you're feeling up for it. He can be a good boy, something he usually isn't.
"Well, I wouldn't mind being the brave young knight who tries~ Shall we take this outside for better lighting?"
You instantly don't give him a good reaction to that. You shrug, seeming conflicted and unsure of yourself, but unable to really bring yourself to explain with words, something uncharacteristic of you.
No problem! Dazai thinks to himself. If you don't want to go outside, he can bring outside to you in the comfort of home. He'll enhance your safe space, and tailor it to just what you need. He hums, tapping his temple in an exaggerated manner as if he were thinking really hard and when he sees that it gets a small giggle out of you, he knows he's on the right track.
"Hm, I know what we should do instead. Wait here, angel.~"
He disappears into the hallway and you sit there as the sound of cabinets opening and rummaging around fills the air. You smile to yourself, and shake your head at the mental image of Dazai becoming a tornado to find whatever he's looking for right now, hoping he doesn't make too much of a mess. You fidget with your hair, twirling it in between your fingers as you take a deep grounding breath while you wait.
A moment later, he comes back with what seems like art supplies and a ton of mini candlesticks.
He knows you're intrigued when you tilt your head in confusion, but then again that's probably just the confusion... Dazai sets down two canvases along with the candles, flashing you a mischievous grin. If you couldn't process your feelings through words, art was always there! You look over the activities he's laid out for you both, awaiting his silver tongued explanation.
"You know when I want to be the little spoon but I don't say anything?"
You laugh softly, and nod.
"Mhm, you get all moody and weird."
He nods back, a half smile on his face as he rests his hands on his hips. He wants to tell you that the only reason he even knew such intimate luxuries is because you showed him that he's worthy of it, of being loved, but he doesn't say anything. He lets the sweet memories between you swim through his mind as fuel for the day he's trying to create for you. His voice sounds more like he's talking out loud now, lost in a thought..
"You make me moody and weird. You also make me want to grab your soft little face and just..."
He then snaps back to the moment, and his tone picks up.
"... But alas, there is no time to waste! Come, sit, I'll get the other things ready.~"
He zooms off to the kitchen, and your heart softens at how much he fusses over you, though you also hope you aren't being too much. You know he'd hate to hear that, so you simply sit down and look over the supplies you had honestly forgotten you had.
Dazai makes tea, because he knows it helps with your fidgeting and you like how the mug feels in your hands, he also begins to set the candle sticks all over the living room, lighting them one by one. You flash him a look of faint concern.
"Feels like Dracula's castle. You sure this is safe, Osamu?"
He simply grins impishly.
"It's called 'mood lighting', cutie. There is an atmosphere to be created!"
"Yeah, and possibly a wildfire."
"Boo, you're no fun. Besides, that sounds like a problem for future us. We live in the moment."
Dazai would never risk your safety and you know that, which is why you don't push the topic any further.
You two settle in, the candles illuminating you both with a warm flame that feels more comforting than you'd like to admit, you feel yourself becoming more immersed in the random little doodles and brush strokes you create as you both talk for hours about literally nothing while sipping on your tea. Nothing feels nice, for once and Dazai can see it in the way you slowly become less and less tense. So mindful, so beautiful.
After you fill your canvas, you set it down, and peer over at Dazai's.
"What'd you paint?"
He smiles sheepishly, and hides his.
"Not finished yet. No peeking!"
He stands up and in one swift motion, runs outside, while leaving you bewildered at the spontaneity of the situation. A few moments later, he runs back inside, huffing with his arms behind his back. He sits back down on the floor with you, criss crossed. He grabs his canvas, and puts something on it as he slowly unveils his work to you.
It's a single crisp leaf he must have plucked from the grass when it fell, the orange and reddish hue placed on the canvas that shows a cartoonishly painted tree as well. He murmurs, eyes trained lovingly on you but with that familiar playful tone.
"I wanted you to get a little air. It's good for one's mood, you know."
You slowly take the leaf, and twiddle it in your thumb as you begin to smile to yourself. You mutter back.
"The weather changes, moods change, it's so overwhelming sometimes..."
He slowly leans in a little closer and places a hand on the small of your back, inching you closer to him too. He wants to distract you from those thoughts affecting you, but it's getting harder when all he can think about is how much you affect him. He whispers.
"My mood never changes, you're the most precious thing I have ever seen all year round."
You look up at him, your eyes communicating what you feel, and he picks up on it with a silent confirmation. You hold each other's gaze for a long quiet moment and when you feel ready you lean into his chest, nuzzling into him. He envelops you in a hug that feels like the remedy you've been searching for this whole time, and it almost brings you to tears. You don't know it also does the same to him. He gives you a soft squeeze and leans down to your ear, his warm breath feeling like the way life is supposed to feel. You mumble, your voice slightly muffled against him.
"Thank you, Osamu. Love you."
He smiles at that. To be something so soothing to you, to be of use for once in his life, it's a feeling that he could never describe. He'll have to find the words when he covers you in kisses from head to toe later, when he makes sure you feel the full extent of his devotion to you through thick and thin. He exhales deeply.
"Change of season, change of mind... It doesn't matter to me. It's still you. It will always be you."
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saeun · 1 year ago
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wants can hurt and sometimes kill. gojo satoru ( insane version )
have you ever wanted something so badly you came to hate it when you got your hands on it?
+ extra. he's a stalker + gaslighter combo, you die, can u guess the reference for this lil drabble 🌚
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satoru has his needs. regardless of how important they may be, his wants will always overpower his needs. his needs are but a fraction of what he craves.
some say he's the attention seeker; his random outbursts immediately direct all kinds attention on him. the untold truth? satoru doesn't want attention — especially if it's yours. he wants to crave you, wants to remain daydreaming about "what ifs", wants to stalk from behind you like another shadow.
you shouldn't have returned his love. couldn't you do what they all do and ignore his advances? he didn't want to do what he did but you — you pushed him. the crippling love you two shared tumbled over like a stack of plastic cups in the wind: fragile, risky, yet determined to finish the piece.
you were ultimately satoru's perfect karma. his want for you destroyed him before he knew it. or maybe, just maybe, he already had his suspicions.
satoru wasn't an easy love, nor was he tough love. he lingered around you, manipulating reality so that your fate forever determined by his course of actions. he doesn't feel any guilt for his actions. instead, he blames you for this. "had you just," became his favourite sentence starter.
it's your fault for finding him attractive. your fault for giving into his love. your fault for ignoring the alarming danger signs sticking out from him like a sore thumb. your fault for calling him "insane", and "obsessive". why curse him when you knew what you were getting into?
he was content with stalking you. many times he shamelessly dropped hints that he's been illegally watching your every move. even his closest friends warned you indirectly.
"i think it'll be best to break it off with satoru," they'd say, following their concern with anything along the lines of "he's not right mentally."
"it's okay, i'm sure i can tolerate it," you'd always respond with a smile, foolishly overestimating yourself.
you loved a rose, he was a thorn.
on paper your relationship with satoru was perfect. he worshipped every cell on your body, inside and outside. he'd always be next to you, to some concern, or he'd be just a phone-call away. satoru never left your side.
you thought of him as your hero; every time you were nearing danger, satoru would jump out just in time. the sweet lie is more wanted than the bitter truth.
arguments never went overboard, he'd hate to have you mad at him. no matter what he did, satoru would always make sure his day revolved around you.
isn't he the perfect prince charming? he knew every detail about yourself. even some you had no knowledge of. you had no clue of your habit of pressing your lips into a thin line whenever things get awkward, but he did.
"have you ever loved someone so much that you begin to hate them?" a question satoru never understood, but he came to.
he loved you so much that he wanted to be in your skin. that love, when returned, transformed into a bubbling hatred.
somewhere down the line satoru found your every action disturbing. your smile he once adored became the reason he'd be annoyed. whenever something went wrong, he'd jokingly blame you but it's not a joke anymore.
the hate, combined with the love, drove him mad. there were times he became disgusted at his own hate for you, so he'd show you his love until dawn broke. but that's as much as it went.
it happened unplanned. it was another repetitive night of him blankly staring at the ceiling. the day itself was rough, nothing went right. you pitied him and sympathized when he came home. it made his goosebumps raise. you're so loving it disturbed him. couldn't you catch the hint and treat him like shit too?
he couldn't stand it. he had to get rid of it.
while you enjoyed your slumber, he sat up. satoru re-positioned himself so that he's hovering over you. his hands circled around your throat, squeezing down as tight as he can. he stayed like that for few minutes — until he told himself it was enough.
you had to go, don't blame him. don't haunt him. understand him. he had to — there was no other choice.
hopefully, if it's a fairytale, time can turn back to where he was your stalker and not lover. for now, he'll wallow until another "her" appears.
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prodbyton · 8 months ago
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okay walk with me here. imagine spending a day out with boyfriend!eunseok and your circle of friends, just a plain gathering at some restaurant or whatever. you sit in front of him and as the gathering drags on, you catch eunseok's wandering eyes, staring at your slightly exposed chest, just smiling innocently when you meet his eyes. an idea pops up in your head and you excuse yourself to run to the bathroom, but not before signaling for him to check his phone 🏃🏼‍♀️ you snap a quick photo of yourself in the stalls with your top pulled up and u send it to eunseok (bonus points if there were bite marks everywhere) it's not something you usually do, and eunseok never pressures you into it so you just know he'd love your surprise 😌🙏 he opens the message unsuspectingly, smiling like usual only for him to completely freeze when he sees the photo you sent him. he'd look around to check if anyone's paying any attention (like let's just say their friends can't get a clue) before going back to look at it again. you'd be on your way back, a huge smile plastered on your face as you sit back down. you notice eunseok's shift in behavior, he is pissed 🤩
eunseok would tell whoever was next to you to switch seats with him. he would just smile at you before leaning in to whisper something along the lines of "if you wanted to get fucked that badly in front of our friends, you could've just asked nicely" he'd keep the smile on his face, hand gripping your thigh while you're practically trembling in anticipation. eunseok would be forgiving for the first few offenses (wearing a pretty top, sending him nudes in public) but if you decide to push him even further, he's making sure everyone knows how bad you've been 😋 but of course you're his favorite brat so he expects nothing less— you'd be struggling not to cry out loud in front of your friends, whole body shaking as eunseok pushes you to your orgasm with only his fingers, he won't be stopping at that too 😇 he'd be whispering to you the whole time, "is this what you wanted, you dumb slut?" or "is this why you wore a pretty skirt today? been planning this the entire time?" or something worse. you wouldn't be able to keep a straight face but eunseok can despite how much you clench down on him 🗿 you'd be begging him, tears spilling from your eyes from the overstimulation, trying your hardest to hide whatever obscenity you two were doing while your friends were busy having fun. once he's satisfied, you're finding yourself slumped over, breath hitching from what eunseok just did.
he'd make up an excuse to drag you out of that hellhole and fuck you as soon as he could. "felt how tight you were around my fingers, i couldn't miss out on it, pretty girl" 😇😇
this is so 😵‍💫😵‍💫 i like the way you think. i love when u guys write in my inbox cuz the ideas are so good i dont even have anything else to add you really said it all
but eunseok is so shameless and he’d just act so innocent its honestly evil. but its so hot 😣 like yeah you might have been begging for attention with your behavior and of course he’d always be ready to give you what you want but to do it so openly while acting like he’s not actively making you see stars… that turned you on even more. and you trying to hold in your reactions just eggs him on to try and get a reaction out of you so you can get flustered and basically embarrass yourself in front of your or his friends. i think he’d be even more evil if it was around the boys 🤭🫣
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joviepog · 1 year ago
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EEE HI JOVIE again i love love your writing and im so glad youve been enjoying my stuff!! anyway, sweet and simple request-- wilbur and reader having an at home dinner night :)) (if u wanna make it silly tommy could be their "waiter" LMAO)
much love !!
EEK I LOVEE THIS IDEA! ITS SO SIMPLE BUT SO GOOD AHHHHHH
-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡—♡-♡-♡-♡-
Lovely night
Who: Wilbur x f!reader
Warnings: i dont think there is anything but if there is just let me know!
Pronouns: She / they
Word count: I have no clue
Requests: @poraphia
Anything’s else: I actually liked how this turned out! thanks for the idea lovely requester!
This story is NOT proofread
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Listen to this while you read! <3
Both you and Wilbur aren’t the richest people around. For you, this was absolutely fine. But for Wilbur?
Well, Wilbur is just a bit disappointed about not being able to spoil you as much as he wants. Since you both have met, he’s been obsessed with getting you little gifts and taking you to cute dates. But what he really wants to do is to be able to take you to the fancy restaurant down the street from your guy’s apartment.
He’s told you about this little problem of his and you cant help but giggle every time he mentions it. The conversation always ends with a kiss on the cheek and the same six words. “Wil, i dont need all that!” But lately he wont stop talking about it. He’s been daydreaming about you in a fancy dress and him in a fancy tux. Not the old cheep one he has for all those dumb occasions. No, he wants to be able to give you a bouquet of roses and a ring that means forever. But most of all, he wants to make you happy.
You’ve noticed that this was starting to get to him. Every time you got home he would give you a kiss and a hug -per usual- then he would start talking about this dress he saw on twitter and how beautiful it would look on you. “And that dress would be perfect for that restaurant!” And every time you say that you dont need all that, he looks like a kid being rejected of a puppy.
And so, you set up a plan. While he was gone on tour, you saved up, took cooking classes, and learned how to do your best makeup possible. You called him up one night, “Hi Wil! Are you busy?” There was a slight pause and he spoke quietly, “No, i just have to be quiet.” You gave a soft laugh and spoke quietly. “I just wanted to make sure i have the right day for when your coming back.” He raised an eyebrow and smirked, “Why?” You pouted, “Why? What, I can’t miss my boyfriend?”
He apologized at least 100 times before he woke Joe up. You said hi to Joe and hung up. “I love you Wil. See you soon?” You asked with a smile. “See you soon.” You hung up and silence fell on the room. You had 1 more week. You bought the dress he had mentioned 1,000 times, you made sure Tommy was free, and you made sure the house was clean. You were ready.
-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-
“I’m two hours away.” he spoke and you could hear the boys in the back teasing him.
you fake sighed, “I guess i’ll just wait here. all alone, and sad, and-“
he stopped you, “Yeah i’ll try to hurry up.”
“No take your time, darling.”
he sighed, “All i want to do is get home and hug you.”
“Aweeee.” you put another fake eyelash on, “I miss you too baby.”
“Wilbur! The taxy is here!”
you laughed and he scoffed, “I’ll see you soon darling.”
“See you soon.” you hung up and looked at yourself in the mirror. you looked amazing. you hair was fixed, and the dress fit nicely just like wilbur said it would. everything was perfect.
2 hours: Tommy got there with a suit and a tie that was ties badly
1 hour 30 minutes: You and tommy set the table and clean the house. you fail to figure out how to tie tommy’s tie
1 hour: you start dinner and Tommy calls phil to help him tie his tie.
30 mins: you finish up dinner and you get out wilbur’s favorite wine
20 mins: you double check everything for 10 minutes
10 mins: you wake up Tommy from his nap and cehck to make sure you look good.
5 mins: you triple check that you look okay and you serve the food.
1 minute: You light the candles
0 mins: You hear a knock.
“Is that him?!?” you say with a cheerful smile. Tommy smiles, “No it’s the mailman.” he jokes. you roll your eyes and open the door. Wilbur has the biggest smile on his face and he’s holding flowers. You close the door behind you, not wanting to ruin the surprise, and jump into his arms. he gives you small kisses all around your face and neck; your giggling at his touch. he finally lets you go and you were so excited to see his reaction.
His eyes widen at the sight of you in the dress and he begins to ask questions. “YN? Where did you-“ you stopped him and grabbed his arm, interlocking your arm in his. you yelled out to tommy, “Ready!” tommy opens the door and the smell of delicious food swept through the door.
The sight of warm lighting and wine glasses were shows on the small table. Warm jazz music was playing and you couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of Wilbur. His mouth was agape and his eyes completely widened. He turned to look at Tommy, who had his hair slicked back and a napkin on his arm (still holding the door open he cleared his throat.) “Welcome Mr. Gold and Ms. LN. I have your table ready right over there. He nudged his head towards the table and you and Wilbur walked in. Tommy quickly close the door and pulled out the chairs for both you and Wilbur.
Wilbur sat down, still in shock, and looked at his plate. Tommy spoke up, “You see, we already served you food because your girlfriend here, preordered. Wilbur laughed and Tommy grabbed the wine glass. “Tell me when to stop.” He started to pour the wine and Wilbur told him to stop about halfway, you did the same.
“Anything else?” Tommy asked.
“That’ll be all. Thank you.” Tommy winked at you and nodded his head. As he walked away you turned back to Wilbur. “So?” His mouth is still slightly open but soon enough, his cheeky smile appeared back on his face.
“Well, i feel like I’m a bit underdressed.” You both laughed and spent the rest of the night talking while Tommy took photos of both of you.
What a lovely night.
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leynaeithnea · 5 months ago
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I didnt get an ask for this BUT WE'RE BACK
my Wisdom saga reaction/analysis!!!!!
26. Legendary
TELEMACHUS MY BOYYYY
THE MELODY AT THE BEGINNING OF LEGENDARY IS SO COOL
the instruments aaah, lowkey obssessed
"its jus tme myself and i" perimedes would like u
"living in this world you left behind".........this song makes oyu think so much about what life has been in Ithica in those years since Odysseus had to leave, he was loved, he is *King*, AH
"dreaming of all these monster, that ill never to get to fight" better this way, u dont wanna end up like your daddy
"but boy i wish i could so i could bring the world some light" BABY BOY
"Cause I'm stuck with your stories, but no clue who you are And no idea if you're dead or just too far" his mother wouldve told him so many stories :aniTears:
"Somebody tell me, come and give me a sign if I fight those monsters, is it you I'll find?" PLS HE jusT WANTS TO FIND HIS DAD GIVE THIS MAN HIS FATHER
"If so, then give me sirens and a cyclops Give me giants and a hydra" hes just naming every monster he can think of of the myths he grew up with
"I know life and fate are scary but I wanna be legendary" U GO BOY; I LOVE YOU, also such a mood
"I'll fight the harpies and chimeras, the Minotaur, even Cerberus I know life and fate are scary but I wanna be l-l-l-l-legendary"....yea same like the two parts before, any monster he can think of, he gotta be one of us kids who read a lot
THEN The droppp in his voice, HE SOUNDS SO SCARED
"There are strangers in our halls" That must be TERRIFYING, just imagine that, dozens of men in your home just prying on your mother and youre too young to do anything rly
"Trying to win the heart of my mom, but she is standing tall" THAT VOCAL PERFORMANCE, W FOR PENELOPE; GIRLBOSS
"108 old faces of men who call me small" EW; 108 IS SO MANY BRO; SO MANY????? Also "old faces" ISJGSEIGJ "who call me small" boy, i feel so bad for you
"They keep taking space and it's not much longer we can stall" !!!! HES WORKING WITH HIS MOTHER TRYING TO HOLD THEM OFF; AH AAAAH, also fuck them, leave their home alone, god he must feel so unsafe in his own home :screams:
"'Cause they're getting impatient, dangerous too" oh no :( so scared lil boy
"And I would fight them if I was half as strong as you" HE LOOKS UP TO HIM SO MUCH AH
"Somebody help me, come and give me the strength Can I do whatever it takes to keep my mom safe?" HES ALSO A MOMMY BOY; AND HONESTLY GOOD FOR HIM; STAND BY HER SIDE; U GO BOY, 🥹
Chrous SLAPs
"Where is he? Where is the man who'll have you to wife? " bitch stay away (also cut song reference!)
"Where is he? Where is the man with whom you'll spend your life?" HE IS ON His WAY HOme SO STAY THE FUCK AWAYYYYYYYY ARGG ILL FIGHT U
"Cause it's been 20 years, 20 years" 20 FUCKING YEARS??? THATS AS OLD AS I AM (and telemachus for that measure, same age, yay!) BUT BRO IMAGINE WAITING FOR YOUR HUSBAND TO COME HOME FOR 20 YEARS; PENELOPE X ODY OTP; PENELOPE FIGHTING OFF 108 SUITORS FOR 20 YEARS AND ODY FIGHTING OF *GODS* Trying TO TRAP AND USE AND KEEP HIM, THEY DESERVE EACH OTHER
"And we still have no king" >:) >:) imagine an island without leader for 20 years oh boy h boy, the power vacuum, 108 people who want to take his place
"Give me a chance, a single opportunity and I'll overcome these obstacles and scrutiny and-" HE WANTS TO SO BADLY he juST DOESNT KNOW HOW AND WHEre TO START BC AH, also the music sounds like he just tries to sneak around his palace, to not get caught by the suitors, dodging and on guard, i can just imagine him ducking his head and looking at every corner for smth danger-
"Boy".......that slapped hard, FUCK YOU ANTINOUS (hi perimedes :) )
"When's your tramp of a mother gonna choose a new husband?" FUCK YOU STAY AWAY (the dELIVERY)
"OoooOOoh" we have a new choir! the crew is ded but we have the suitors now hah, ill take it, love me some choir responses
"Why don't you open her room so we can have fun with her?" THE AUDACITY? WHORE FUCKING BASTARD STAY THE FUCK AWAY
"Dont you dare, call my mother a tramp" U GO BOY; TELL HIM (be careful, dont get hurt) THE VOCAL DELIVERY OF THAT LINE IS SO gOOD
"OoooOOoh" chiorr
" I just did, Whatchu gonna do about it, champ?" FUCK OFF ANTINOUS, DONT BE SO SMUG FUCK U
"Somebody tell me, Come and give me a sign, If I fight this monster, Is it you I'll find?" u desrve your dad so much, he'll come home, promise...promise....hold on, be stronk, u got this boy, also "this monster" its none from your stories, no this is real, its worse its right infront of you AH
Sorry for the swearing :") AH I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH, ONE OF MY FAVS FOR SURE (...we'll come back after recency bias but i dont think itll change)
EDIT: DANGER MOTIF WHEN ANTINOUNS JOINS IN!!!!! (are there more? im new to this PLS TELL ME)
@lorethebookworm
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puppy-byun · 1 year ago
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Just Friends...unless...? pt. 1
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pairing: Hyunjin x Reader / a sprinkle of Seonghwa x Reader
rating: 18+
word count: 8k
genre: smut / friends to lovers / angst / university au
warnings: drinking, curse words, Hyunjin (obv but like... there should be a warning at all times), heavy make-out, fingering, light nipple play, dirty-talk, pet names (just one rlly), public...indecencies don't do this irl, minors pls dni!!
summary: You weren’t crushing on Hyunjin. You couldn’t be crushing on Hyunjin because you were just friends, and there was no way he would ever feel the same way about you. Right? Unless...?
disclaimer: This has only been proof read by myself but hey! I’m back! This is angstier than most stuff I've written before I hope u guys enjoy it!
masterlist | next
There had been a time in your life when you had thought you were in love with Hyunjin. Not infatuation, not attraction, and not an incredibly intense college crush, no, but the kind of star crossed, life changing love that you thought you could never possibly get over. You hadn’t had a clue how right you would be about that.
And Hyunjn? He hadn’t had a clue about anything at all, because Hyunjin was a sweet, but he was just about as oblivious as he was caring.
In all fairness, you hadn’t tried to get him to realize that you were head over heels the first time you realized how fast he made your heart beat. You didn’t think that you would be able to handle the embarrassment of him finding out one of his closest friends had been harboring a crush on him, and even less so the possible follow up of rejection. So instead, you had gone through months of fearing that he would realize you had feelings for him. You had constantly been torn about being grateful he was so clueless and hoping despite better judgment that he would realize, and he would maybe reciprocate those feelings. It had been months until you had finally managed to snub out every last one of them, until you and Hyunjin were just friends.
Regardless of whether you were over those feelings or not, it did not stop your friends from endlessly teasing you about that period in your life. Apparently, you had been extremely obvious - according to them. It was just your luck that Hyunjin wouldn’t even consider his friend being in love with him, so even two years later he had no idea there had ever been a time when you had wished you would make his heart flutter the same way he did with yours.
You couldn’t fully blame your friends for teasing you about your feelings for Hyunjin. Neither could you blame them for not quite believing that those feelings were in the past - not when you were so comfortable with each other, it was easy to mistake you for anything but a couple. But even if that did happen a lot it didn’t bother you and it didn’t seem to bother Hyunjin either – because you were just friends.
You had your hands full with eight guys in your life and you definitely did not need or have time for a boyfriend on top of it, so you didn’t mind guys automatically backing off when they saw Hyunjin and you together. And in the three years you had known Hyunjin he had never seemed too interested in starting a relationship with anyone either.
Admittedly, you had tried not to pay any attention to what he was doing when you weren’t spending your time together, because part of your ‘Hyunjin-crush-extinction-program’ had been to decidedly keep your nose out of his private affairs. If he had hook-ups, you had successfully managed to not witness any of them. It wouldn’t have been difficult to avoid situations like this though, considering he was friendly, well-mannered, hard working, and just about the stereotype of the perfect, sweet boy next door. He was ambitious, chivalrous, you had never seen him treat anyone with even the slightest disrespect, and you had never heard him talk badly about anyone. It was unfair, really, that on top of having an amazing character he also looked flawless. Long hair tickling his ears and the tips brushing his shoulders, still soft despite the way he bleached it all blond just a few months ago. Straight eyebrows, dark eyes that crinkled at the edges whenever he laughed, holding a sparkle that made it impossible not to laugh with him. His nose an elegant slope and a cute tip you had desperately wanted to kiss back when you had thought yourself in love with him. And his mouth. His mouth had been the worst part, because the boy looked like an angel but his lips never promised anything but sin, plush and soft and just about the most perfect lips anyone could ever want to kiss.
No, you were definitely not thinking about Hyunjin’s lips now. Even if there’s no problem with a bit of kissing between friends, no strings attached, right?
You shook yourself out of those thoughts, shoving them at the very back of your mind right with the memories of what it felt like to be hopelessly in love with Hyunjin, because those were parts of your life you had left behind and were not ever bringing back to explore.
You were thankfully forced to focus on something else for good when a loud thump sounded next to you, gaze dropping to the table with a slight squeal. Felix and Minho had dumped a whole tray loaded with various assortments of drinks and, to your dismay, also shots, in the middle of the table, spilling some of them in the process and splattering everyone with drops of sticky alcohol.
“I thought we’re not getting shit-faced today? It’s only Wednesday…” You tutted with a raised eyebrow, finger pointing at the shots specifically.
“Oh these?” Minho raised one eyebrow with a cat-like grin. “These are for our heartbreakers, since they look like they need a good amount of liquid courage.”
Changbin, one of said heartbreakers Minho had just mentioned, only rolled his eyes, but Jisung immediately grabbed two small glasses of what was undoubtedly tequila, downing both of them unceremoniously, foregoing the lemon. You laughed at the display, shoving one of the shots in Changbin’s direction discreetly, because even though he was putting on a tough act you could tell he was nervous.
You were occupying your usual booth at your favorite campus bar, attending Karaoke Wednesday for the sole reason of Changbin and Jisung promising they would finally get up on that stage and impress the girls they had been eyeing for the better part of almost two months. It was almost ridiculous, how your entire group had become regulars on karaoke night solely because these two kept saying they would ‘finally make a move this time’ every single week - only to chicken out.
Jisung was already on his fourth shot, ready to grab the fifth one, when you gently put your hand on his arm to stop him. “I think you should maybe slow down or all you’ll be doing is throwing up on her skirt before you can even utter a word.” you cringed, hoping you didn’t jinx it with your words.
Seungmin and Minho both laughed at the likely image of that happening but Jisung slumped back on the seat, rolling his eyes.
“You’re seriously the worst wing-men, all of you!”
The other boys only laughed more and you patted his hand empathetically, leaning over Hyunjin who was sitting right next to you.
“It’s going to be fine, Jisung. You go up there and you impress her, and she’ll totally fall in love with you. I would fall in love with you, if I weren’t already friends with you.”
The lie went over your lips smoothly, not even cringing inwardly when this was very much not true. Being friends hadn’t stopped you from falling in love with Hyunjin, but that experience had also taught you that you would never again get into the messy business of crushing on someone in your friend group.
“I would trust her judgment, you know,” Hyunjin added, casually grabbing your hand from on top of Jisung’s and placing it back on your own lap so he could lean forward and look at the blue haired boy. “She’s got actual standards, so her compliment means something.”
His hand never left yours, keeping his own slender fingers lightly wrapped around yours, a gesture so casual and normal between you that no one would even bat an eye. You laughed at Hyunjin’s words, whacking him over the back of his head softly. “What do you mean I have standards, I’m friends with you guys.”
“Yes, exactly,” Minho added pointedly, completely ignoring your jab and sliding a drink in your direction which looked suspiciously colorful and like it would make your teeth stick together.
“Shush, I was giving you a compliment bunny.”
You grinned at Hyunjin cheekily, from over the rim of your glass, proud that once again the pet name barely made your skin tingle. He always used it with you, and there was absolutely nothing flirtatious or special about it. It used to make your head spin, and it only took just about two years for you to get used to it.
“So what’s the game plan for tonight?” Chan piped up, the question mainly oriented at Jisung and Changbin, who were the sole reason you had even gathered at the bar and accidentally made it a tradition to get drunk on a freaking weekday.
“Let me guess, same as every week?” Seungmin asked, barely containing an eye-roll. Jisung was still pouting but Changbin set his shot glass down with vigor, sitting up straighter and causing you to snort into your drink. Hyunjin was helpfully patting your back to prevent you from choking while you listened to Changbin declaring how he would for sure win over his crush tonight.
The pats on your back changed to gently rubs once your coughing had calmed down a little and you skirted closer, leaning your head on Hyunjin’s shoulder. The last singer had ended their horrible rendition of Billie Eilish’s ‘Bad Guy’ and they were calling for new daring participants. For all of Changbin’s talk both he and Jisung had gotten very quiet. The drinks Minho and Felix had steadily brought had at least done nothing if not encourage everyone else at the table that tonight really was the night, so you weren’t surprised when Chan jumped up from his spot, waving and hollering to get the bartender’s attention.
“We have two entries here!” he shouted, so loudly that the whole bar had heard for sure and there was no way for Jisung or Changbin to back out of this. Waving him over Chan got up and fished a USB out of his back pocket, deeply engrossed in conversation with the bartender now. You knew he was trying to convince him to let your friends perform their own tracks instead of singing karaoke, which were saved on said USB. Jisung had gotten worryingly pale throughout the last two minutes, but your friends knew no mercy for the boys. Seungmin was already almost forcefully shoving Changbin out of the seat, and Felix and Minho were pulling Jisung, who did his best to resist, up by his arms.
You couldn’t help but laugh throughout the whole display, turning to catch Hyunjin doing the same while watching them.
“You think they’re aware their crushes are most likely watching them right now?”
“Don’t let them know, Jisung will probably pass away on the spot.”
You bit back a snort, nodding in agreement and continued watching how Chan threw a thumbs up in your direction and a very dramatic gurgle left Jisung’s lips. He might actually be about to pass out.
Hyunjin’s hand slipped from between your shoulder blades to your lower back, reaching the expanse of skin peeking out between your top and skirt. You shivered, unable to suppress the sensation and immediately sent your mind into shut down. Even if this was technically a normal reaction, it wasn’t with Hyunjin. You could never allow this with Hyunjin, because if he ever came even close to thinking you had a crush on him you would dig yourself a hole and vanish in the ground forever.
Halfway through the path to the stage the boys seemed to realize that their crushes were indeed watching them and finally managed to get it together so Seungmin, Minho and Felix could stop forcefully dragging them towards the raised platform.
The bartender – Seokjin, who Chan knew because they had a couple of classes together, which was most likely how he got him to agree to play their original songs – announced that tonight the program would be a little different, and you caught yourself sitting up straighter. Hyunjin moved with you automatically, pulling you closer with the movement, but your full attention was on the stage now. After months it was finally happening. The first heavy tunes of the song you had heard countless times by now started, and you watched your friends fumble for the microphones, still visibly nervous. They had performed their own music many times for you guys, but never on a scale this big, in front of strangers, and even worse, in front of someone they wanted to impress. The first few lines were a bit unsteady, making you cringe inwardly and holler out a lout whoop of encouragement. Jisung’s eyes caught your table, seeing you give him two thumbs up in support, and when a grin settled on his face you felt relief flood your body. Changbin didn’t need as much encouragement, immediately at ease as soon as he heard his own music, and once they started rapping you knew they were about to impress everyone in the bar, not just their crushes. Even though you knew the songs by heart you found yourself captured by their performance as well. They were just naturally talented, their charisma flowing through every line they were spitting.
Hyunjin’s hand, which had stilled when he, too, had focused on the performance, picked back up on drawing soft patterns on the small of your back and his nose brushed your hair when he leaned in enough so you could understand him over the music.
“You’re not actually gonna fall in love with Jisung now, right?” He was clearly joking and you leaned back to look at him with a laugh, mirroring his expression.
“Why are you asking? Are you jealous, Jinnie?” Hyunjin rolled his eyes in response at your absurd question. Why would he be jealous or anything even remotely as ludicrous, when your friendship was rivaled by yours and Chan’s only, and he damn well knew that.
“Of Jisung? Hell no, it took him two months to go up on that stage and the girl he’s trying to impress doesn’t even know it’s her he’s flexing this hard for.”
Even if you agreed you lightly pinched Hyunjin’s arm to let him know he wasn’t being entirely fair. Confidence didn’t come as natural to everyone as it did to him.
“I just think he wouldn’t deserve you.” he added as an afterthought, shrugging his shoulders.
“Oh?” you quipped, eyebrow raised because now you were intrigued. You could talk about almost everything with Hyunjin, but you hardly ever talked about something like this. For some reason your dating life (or lack thereof) was reserved for talks between you and anyone but Hyunjin, which you didn’t entirely mind. But now that it had come up, you were curious as to what he was trying to say. “And who would deserve me?”
Hyunjin opened his mouth only to close it again, the music filtering out in favor of a pregnant pause. He had successfully managed to capture your full attention, Jisung’s and Changbin’s performance, as good as it was, not as important as this conversation.
“No one of course.” Hyunjin finally deadpanned, as if it were the most obvious answer.
“No one…,” you repeated, a little incredulous. “So I’m just going to be single forever?”
Hyunjin shrugged, as if that was the obvious solution. “I suppose not. You’re going to settle for someone who doesn’t come close to the standards you’d deserve, and it’s going to be a tragedy.”
“Ah,” you supplied, your tone implying that, of course, how hadn’t you thought of that before? You let your eyes wander the room, settling on a guy halfway across with dark hair, a lean and tall figure and pretty beauty mark under his eye adorning his face.
“What about that one?” you nodded your head vaguely in his direction and Hyunjin followed your line of sight.
“Yugyeom?”
You rolled your eyes, raising an eyebrow at him. “How am I supposed to know? The one with the beauty mark.”
“Yeah, that’s Yugyeom. We share some classes, he’s a dance major.” He caught the wistful smile on your face, your eyes still locked on the other dancer rather than your friend, mentally jotting down his name while thinking that he definitely wouldn’t be a bad catch.
“Oh, hell no. I know what you’re thinking. He most certainly wouldn’t deserve you.” Hyunjin quickly grasped your chin softly but decisively, squishing your cheeks together and forcing your gaze back on him, confronted with your pout. “Don’t look at me like that. He’s a total fuckboy, you don’t want to get yourself into that mess.”
You hmphed, swiping your gaze in the other direction and away from Yugyeom. Instead, your eyes landed on a brown-haired boy who was sitting with a couple of friends, beer in hand and completely immersed in the music. He had a pretty, heart-shaped face, full cheeks and, oh god, dimples.
“What if I want the guy with the dimples? I think I’d want the guy with the dimples,” you decided, directing your question at Hyunjin, who apparently had become the judge of your hypothetical love life.
“Jaehyun, seriously?” Hyunjin’s exasperated tone was enough to tell you what he was thinking of that choice, but you decided to push it a little, just to tease him.
“Yeah, Jaehyun. I should go say hi.” Hyunjin’s hand, which had still been comfortably resting on your back, drawing distracting patterns from time to time, slipped around your waist, his fingers digging into your skin faster than you could react.
“Alright, alright, relax, I’m not going to do it. So he’s bad business?” Hyunjin relaxed his grasp only infinitesimal, as if he didn’t trust that you wouldn’t just jump up as soon as he let go.
“No, he’s actually a pretty fun guy. But I’ve seen his tongue down more girl’s throats in, like, barely a month, than I can count on my hands and toes. He’s football captain, too, so his life is pretty much sports and fucking. Unless that’s what you’re looking for…?”
“I guess not. Shame,” you commented, abandoning the idea of Jaehyun because he was clearly very far from your type. Your type being extremely hard to define because you had barely paid attention to boys other than the casual hookup throughout high school, and the only ever serious crush you had had been Hyunjin, with no other following after. There had been guys, but there hadn’t been anyone who managed to make your heart beat quite as fast as Hyunjin had.
The performance had long but ended by now, someone else already taking the stage, but the guys weren’t back yet, Chan stuck at the bar and engrossed in an animated conversation with Seokjin, who was severely disregarding every other customer. You had lost sight of Seungmin, Felix, Minho, Changbin and Jisung in the crowd so your booth was currently solely occupied by Hyunjin and you.
Letting your gaze glide over the crowd once again, mostly just to see if you could spot any of your friends, they instead landed on a head of white blonde hair, surely long enough to brush over the tips of the boys ears if he hadn’t slicked it back, showing off his undercut and sharp jawline. Oh, you knew that boy. It was true that only ever Hyunjin got your heart to beat fast, but you would lie to say there weren’t other boys who got you excited in other ways – Park Seonghwa right at the very top of that list. He was lounging on the backrest of a worn leather sofa, his back leant against the wall, legs spreading impossibly wide, as if he had no intention of making room for anyone else (he probably didn’t).
Hyunjin clearly had caught onto your not so subtle staring, because his next words were more exasperated than they had been at any other suggestion so far.
“Park Seonghwa?!”
You quickly glanced at your friend with a sheepish smile, before turning your gaze back to the white blond boy, resting your arm on the back of your seat and your chin atop of it.
“Yeah, Seonghwa is hot.”
“God, I take back everything I said about you having standards.” Hyunjin groaned next to you, but it wasn’t enough to pull your gaze away from the other boy. Everyone and their mum knew who Seonghwa was, campus heartthrob extraordinaire, with just the right amount of bad boy flair to make every girl positively drool. Now, you knew you didn’t stand a chance with him, just the way you had known that you didn’t stand a chance with Hyunjin. Guys that pretty were just way above your level, despite what Hyunjin said.
It wasn’t that you were unpopular per se, because hanging with one of the most infamous friend groups on campus had definitely gotten you a certain amount of popularity yourself. It had happened by accident, really, because Chan’s parents had moved in next door in elementary school, making you walking buddies on your way to school every single day for years, forcing Chan to befriend you. It could have ended after Chan had already entered high school and gained quite a bit of a reputation when you finally left elementary school behind to join him. But it didn’t. For some unfathomable reason he had decided that there was no one cooler at school than you, spending every lunch break and free period in your company, dragging you along and introducing you to all of his friends. Slowly but steadily your group had grown, Seungmin, Changbin and Jisung joining first, and then, one by one, Minho, Felix, Hyunjin and Jeongin. All of them had been semi-popular for their talents and charms even by themselves, but as a group they were one of those cliques that everyone wanted to be a part of just once. And somehow, through all of it, you had ended up as Chan’s number one.
Anyhow, all of that meant that you weren’t exactly unpopular, but nowhere near the level where you presumed you could pull someone like Park Seonghwa, just like you hadn’t presumed you could pull someone like Hyunjin, even if you had already been friends at that point.
“Are you even listening to me?” Hyunjin quipped impatiently, poking your side and you had, indeed, not been listening.
“Repeat it for me?”
You clearly heard his annoyed grumble, causing you to grin, although not in Hyunjin’s direction but in Seonghwa’s instead, who exactly at that moment seemed to have sensed that someone was staring at him and caught your gaze.
“I said I don’t—” The words didn’t filter through to you because Seonghwa was running a hand through his hair, one eyebrow raised in challenge, and you thought you might die on the spot. He couldn’t possibly mean you, could he? It felt like the longest staring match possible, even though it was probably only seconds before Seonghwa nodded his head towards the door and even through your disbelief you were ready to jump up and leave. But you were stopped when someone scooted right next to you, successfully ripping your gaze away from Seonghwa and pressing you closer to Hyunjin. It was Minho, decidedly more drunk than before, and when you snapped your head back around to Seonghwa you knew you’d missed your chance because he was already engrossed in a conversation with one of his friends.
With a wistful sigh you turned back around and the first thing you noticed were the two empty cups in front of Hyunjin that hadn’t been there minutes ago, which meant he had downed them in the short time you had spent eye-fucking Seonghwa.
“Care to explain what exactly you’re planning, don’t you have morning class?” You questioned the boy with concern, knowing that usually he held back because he took his dancing very seriously.
“What if I do?” Hyunjin just grunted snappily, reaching over the table to steal Felix’ drink while the blonde boy wasn’t looking.
You made a sour face at him, not knowing what had suddenly gotten into him and deciding that if he wanted to do something he would regret tomorrow you wouldn’t stop him if that’s the attitude he was giving you. Instead, you focused on Jisung, who had accumulated about four table’s worth of coasters and had started building a ginormous house upon his return. He wasn’t very successful at it, most likely because you could tell by his droopy gaze that he was very drunk.
“How did it go?” You inquired nosily, directing the question at everyone at the table who had clearly paid more attention to Jisung’s attempts of conquest than Hyunjin and you had.
“Did you know that in kindergarten they called me the ‘god of crafting’?” Jisung instead slurred, causing you to look at him as if to ask ‘what the fuck’ while everyone else was tipsy enough to deem this a perfectly acceptable answer. Felix even patted his back (which caused the coaster house to crumble) to congratulate him on his title.
You groaned in frustration, noticing how Hyunjin had emptied Felix’ cup as well now, only adding to your irritation.
“With the girl, Jisung, how did it go with the girl?” Jisung didn’t reply, intently focused on building his coaster house and mainly on ignoring you, so you turned helplessly to the other guys, question marks written all over your face. Felix was shaking his head as if to signal that it wasn’t a good topic to talk about but Minho wasn’t quite as sensitive.
“She didn’t like your lyrics? What was it she hated? ‘Excuse me noona, do you have a boyfriend?’” Minho was cackling in the ugliest way possible, causing half the table to almost spit out their drink against better judgement.
“I didn’t even talk to her!” Jisung instead ground out, throwing his head on the table with a thunk that resonated loudly and must have hurt, shaking the whole coaster house he’d built to the ground again.
“What do you mean you didn’t talk to her?”
“I chickened out okay!” He whined, voice muffled against the tabletop and the whole table groaned in unison at the hopelessness of it all.
“What about Changbin?” Hyunjin asked next to you, voice way friendlier than it had been seconds ago when he had talked to you. You decided not to be sour about whatever had gotten into him, because the hangover he would have tomorrow would be karmic energy enough.
“Judge for yourself,” Seungmin commented with a grimace, pointing a thumb over his back and you followed the direction he was pointing, catching sight of a couple pressed up against the wall next to the bar. The others were clearly looking at them too, Seungmin’s grimace not warning enough.
“Oh my god, is he for real?” You gasped, your grimace now matching Seungmin’s at how Changbin’s hands where clearly up the girls skirt right there, no doubt groping her butt.
“Well, he’s still faring better than me,” Jisung commented dryly, and you felt so sorry for the boy you couldn’t even laugh when he knocked his coasters down again.
“That reminds me, a girl asked me earlier if you and Hyunjin were dating,” Felix threw in, looking between the two of you and despite Hyunjin’s suddenly sour mood you couldn’t bite back a grin.
“Which one?” You inquired, curious who had been checking him out. Felix quickly scanned the crowd before finding who he was looking for, unashamedly pointing at her. Your eyes followed, quickly recognizing her from one of your classes. Despite your best efforts you couldn’t help but feel a short sting in your chest because if she was interested in Hyunjin her chances were definitely better than yours had been.
“That’s Chaeyoung,” you explained, managing to keep your voice stable and enthusiastic. “She’s in my Thursday afternoon course, total cutie. You should talk to her Hyunjin.”
“Why are you trying to set me up again?” Hyunjin only asked, not even bothering to grant Chaeyoung a single glance. It was true, you had made it a habit to try and set him up with someone back when you had desperately been trying to overcome your crush, thinking it would be easier if he were taken. Over time it had simply become a tradition you hadn’t really dropped since then.
“I don’t know? I’ve never really seen you hook up with anyone, I just don’t want you to combust at some point.”
“I haven’t seen you hooking up either,” He pointed out and you didn’t really know what to say to that, so you decided to ignore it. He had a point, but the reasons for that were not something you wanted to tell him, of all people.
“Chaeyoung’s a really nice girl and she’s gorgeous, if she’s really interested in you I think-“ you stopped mid-sentence, the words dying on your lips when Hyunjin’s hand unceremoniously slipped onto your exposed thigh. The conversation had apparently been drowned under the music because no one commented on how you never ended your sentence, mouth hanging open like an idiot before you caught yourself. Hyunjin was always touchy when he was drunk, and he was definitely drunk after he had rushed down three cups in a matter of minutes. There was nothing more behind this than him wanting you to stop trying to set him up.
“Someone should really stop Changbin.”
Everyone made the mistake of looking over to your friend again at Seungmin’s words, cringing even more at how the girl already had one leg wrapped around his waist, basically letting him grind into her against the wall.
Seungmin’s prompt evolved into a discussion of who would be the unlucky one to break them up and you were grateful no one was suggesting you. Despite your best efforts you couldn’t quite ignore Hyunjin’s hand, his fingers annoyingly soft on your skin. And, fuck, you weren’t sure if he was even aware but they were brushing the inside of your thigh, ghosting over sensitive skin. He couldn’t possibly be doing this on purpose. Why would he be?
You barely caught that Felix had been the unlucky one who was designated to kick Changbin’s ass and tell him to go somewhere at least a little more private.
“Thank fuck we didn’t bring Jeongin today,” You threw into the round, mostly just to save face and pretend you weren’t fighting with all you got not to clench your thighs together when Hyunjin dragged his nails up the inside of your thigh, stopping only when he ever so slightly dipped under the hem of your skirt. He had to be doing this on purpose.
“I mean, I’m glad he’s getting some, but damn, we’re too good at our own job, this is self-sabotaging,” Minho stated, blatantly ignoring that you had failed big time as wing-men when it came to Jisung, while you barely had to do anything for Changbin.
You chuckled, proud that your laugh didn’t hitch at the consistent movement of Hyunjin’s hand. What the fuck was he doing? You had half a mind to ask him, but you deemed it too embarrassing if he really wasn’t doing this on purpose and you called him out on subconsciously getting you all riled up. He’s always touchy when he’s drunk. He’s always touchy. It was better than him being pissy at any rate.
“Can someone take me home, I think I’m gonna be sick,” Jisung moaned from where he was resting his forehead on his arms, half hanging off the table, and you weren’t sure if he was drunk or close to crying, but either way it would be better if he got back to his dorm right about now.
Minho and Seungmin both got up with a sigh, hooking their arms under his to pull him up.
“You guys gonna be fine?” Seungmin, the only somewhat sober one asked and you were cut short before you could even reply.
“I’ll make sure she gets home safely,” Hyunjin immediately supplied and you didn’t want to point out with the way he was slurring you would be the one taking him home safely. It wouldn’t be the first time you walked home together, either one or both of you drunk, so Seungmin and Minho accepted gratefully and focused back on pulling Jisung up with them.
“Now where’s Cha-“
“How can you be so unaffected?”
You turned to Hyunjin, not quite understanding what he was getting at but giving up your search for Chan immediately. He hadn’t been super drunk when you’d last seen him, and even if, he was a big boy and could get home by himself just fine.
“What do you mean?” You asked dumbly instead, and in place of a reply Hyunjin’s hand slipped lower between your thighs, thumb now brushing the inside too.
“You know what I mean.”
You weren’t sure if it was because he was drunk but his voice was raspy. So obviously, you did the only thing you could think of and started giggling in panic, successfully killing the moment that you weren’t sure had even been one. If it left Hyunjin utterly confused he didn’t say so, instead pulling his hand away from your thigh, finally giving you enough focus to breathe again.
“Do you still want to look for Chan?”
You shook your head, instead grabbing onto his arm and pulling him towards the exit, struggling when you noticed just how much he was staggering.
“Jesus Christ, you’re drunk. Let’s just get you home, alright?” You sighed, swiping his hair out of his eyes and patting his shoulder when he almost hooked his foot in the doorframe and fell.
“M’not drunk,” Hyunjin muttered, burying his face in your shoulder and hanging onto your arm with almost his full weight and that’s when you knew that the fresh air had kicked in. Sighing, you shifted your weight best as you could and continued staggering down the empty road down campus towards Hyunjin’s shared dorm with Seungmin, Minho and Felix, hoping that one of them would be home already and would let you in.
Deciding to push your luck a little you slowed your walk, taking a breath of fresh air before deciding that Hyunjin wouldn’t remember this conversation tomorrow, so if there was ever a chance to ask it would be right now.
“Why did you act so pissy earlier when we were joking around?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean,” you echoed his words from earlier, but with an entirely different meaning. Silence settled over you, leaving only your steps, dragging under Hyunjin’s weight, and his heavier ones to sound in the empty area. He wasn’t going to answer, so you decided to shortly let go of him in retaliation. You immediately regretted that choice when he only clamped down on you harder and almost caused both of you to fall.
Readjusting your grip you continued shuffling down the road, deciding to give it another try.
“Why did you decide to get shit-faced, knowing damn well you will regret this tomorrow?”
“Nope.”
You huffed in annoyance at how he made the p of the word pop loudly, but decidedly did not give you an answer. You were growing increasingly frustrated.
“Why do you always act so uninterested when I try to set you up with nice girls?”
“Not gonna answer.”
“Okay, then riddle me this, why the fuck did you feel me up in the middle of the bar with Minho literally right next to me?” Frustration was audibly laced through your voice now, with how uncooperative he was being, but he caught you off guard when instead of replying he simply stopped in his tracks, taking a deep breath and then walked straight to the bench at the side of the street, sitting down heavily. You were left standing by yourself, looking at him questioningly.
“Come here.”
You stood rooted on the street, dumbfounded for another moment what he was getting at, before you took a couple of steps towards him, heavy with hesitant confusion, ready to settle down on the empty spot on the bench. Instead Hyunjin grasped your wrist and pulled you off balance, causing you to stumble. It didn’t matter if you tried to catch your fall because Hyunjin had other plans, his other hand catching your thigh and pulling you down on his lap.
“What are you-?”
The rest of your words was swallowed by his lips on your mouth. You felt almost as if you were caught in some type of twisted deja-vu, because this had happened so many times in your mind. But while you had dreamed of kissing Hyunjin, it had never gone down quite like this, and it hadn’t felt like this either. This was needy, carnal. Your legs were splayed on either side of his, skirt naturally hitched up, and his hands were on your cheeks, cupping your face, fingers digging into your skin as if he was scared you’d move away if he didn’t hold on to you. You were way too shocked to do anything, even if he weren’t making sure your lips stayed on his. You couldn’t even react, not until he took your bottom lip between his and bit down, eliciting a gasp from you that was somewhere between surprise and almost whining. His tongue followed, soothing the bite, and that’s when your brain shut down and you whimpered, hands slipping into his hair. It was soft, it always was, but this was different, because when you dragged your nails over his scalp, getting stuck in a tangle of his hair he groaned and you swallowed the sound. It sent warmth straight to your stomach. His hands slipped, from cradling your face to cupping the back of your neck, and you welcomed the added pressure, the way he meshed your lips together so desperately. You whimpered again, a little whinier, a little needier, and it was all Hyunjin needed to slip his tongue into your mouth. He tasted like alcohol, but he also tasted like him, and you thought you couldn’t possibly get enough. Hyunjin’s other hand was everywhere at once, running up your legs, scratching your thighs until you were gasping into his kisses. It was messy, your mouth wet and your lips kiss-swollen and you couldn’t stop touching him either, savoring the way the slightest touches made him react.
Leaning back slightly, just enough to catch your breath, another whimper slipped over your lips when you caught his gaze, dark eyes looking into yours so greedily you wanted nothing more than for him to wreck you.
“What are we doing, Hyunjin?” you whispered, and even that seemed inappropriately loud for the eerie silence of the campus road.
“Whatever you want bunny. Whatever makes you feel good, just tell me.”
You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath to gather your thoughts because he had never, never, talked to you like this before and it was causing heat to pool right between your legs. Even just the thought of him fucking you until you couldn’t think straight made you clench around nothing, regretting that he wasn’t doing so already.
“But why are we-?”
He shut you up with another kiss, going straight to sucking on your bottom lip, his tongue adding to the pleasure. Your eyes fluttered shut, questions dying down again. He was moving from your lips to your jaw and then to your neck, leaving a wet trail. He wasn’t even close to leaving a hickey, his bites too soft and too quick, doing nothing but to add to the tingle of anticipation running down your skin. You felt his hands move down your arms, almost hoping they would settle on your ass but he stopped just short of the hem of your shirt, running a fingertip along it until you were shivering. You felt him smile against your skin in between kisses, before his fingers settled on grasping onto the upper edge of your top, slipping down the strap and pulling until it left the soft flesh of your tits exposed. You had half a mind to stop him, thinking your bra would go next, the sheer lace doing very little to cover your hard nipples anyways, but instead he bit down, all softness from earlier gone. You gasped, loud this time, the sound turning into a moan when his lips wrapped around your nipple, sucking hard enough you could feel every movement of his mouth even through the lace. His tongue was swirling around your nipple, causing your breath to become erratic and your hands to clench in his hair, so hard he was groaning against your skin again.
“Hyunjin since when-?” You didn’t need to finish your sentence, but you immediately regretted even attempting to talk when his lips detached from your nipple, the spit-soaked material of your bra a cold contrast in the night air.
“I always tell you how pretty you are.” It wasn’t an explanation by any means but his mouth was still busy ghosting over your skin, his other hand now coming to slip under your bra, fingertip drawing over your nipple so deliciously it almost made you forget the questions you were burning to have answers to.
“You call everyone pretty, so why are we, shit, god you’re good-“ It took a few moments for you to collect yourself again, breath agitated and the heat between your thighs impossible to ignore while Hyunjin’s mouth had settled on your nipple again. His hands had finally dropped to your ass. He was pressing you down on his crotch and you had lost all capability to speak when his hard dick pressed against your wet underwear. Holy fuck, no matter what his motivations were he clearly wanted you right now.
“-why am I dry humping your dick on a park bench, you don’t get hard for all your friends, do you?”
„Nope.“
Again he let the p pop, but this time he accentuated the sound with a lazy grin, because despite your protests you were rolling your hips just the way he wanted you to, grinding yourself on his hard dick. Your underwear was sticking to your center, no doubt covering his pants in your juices already and the thought of it only made you wetter. “Your skirt looked so cute today, I really wanted you to ride me.”
You didn’t deem it necessary to mention that you had worn this skirt many times before and it had not ended up with him telling you he wanted his dick inside you. Not when he was swiping his fingers over your wet panties, groaning at the slickness between your legs. “I wanna go down on you so badly bunny, I’d love to make you cum all over my tongue.”
You could only whimper, no coherent words forming in your mind because he had swiped your slick underwear to the side, his finger now slipping through your wet lips. There was something about the fact that he was still holding onto your ass, pressing you close enough that he could reach your drenched folds from behind that made your head swim with pleasure. He had rushed his kisses before, but he was not rushing this, running his fingers from your clit down to your entrance slowly. He kept spreading you open, making sure to coat his fingers to his knuckles in your wetness. It was lewd, night air kissing your exposed skin while he was brushing his fingers over your slickness until you were shaking from just that.
You dropped your face to the crook of his neck, your moan muffled by his skin when he finally sunk two fingers into you up to his knuckles. He stilled, enjoying the feeling of you clenching around him while your fingernails dug into his skin, surely leaving marks even through his shirt.
When you started grinding your hips slightly, trying to get some friction and fuck yourself on his fingers because he wasn’t moving his other hand came up to your waist, stopping your movement.
“Nuh-uh, I wanna make you feel good, let me do this.”
You could only nod, hoping he could feel the confirmation, accepting that you’d behave if only he would finally do something. You were rewarded with a crook of his fingers you felt right at that sweet spot that had you arch your back.
“Right there, Hyunjin, do that again please.”
“That felt good?” He drawled, purposely crooking his fingers again, harder this time, and your moan was so breathy you felt dizzy. He finally motioned for you to move, lifting your hips so he could slip his fingers out before he fully sank them into you again, repeating the motion until you were bouncing on his lap, skirt bunched in his free hand and hitched up so high there was no way it covered anything. Eyes fluttering open to look at Hyunjin you knew you were right because he was mesmerized by the way your lips swallowed up his fingers, wet sounds every time you lowered yourself down on his hand.
“You’re doing so well, think you can come like that for me bunny?”
“Yes, god- fuck, yes-“
You were a stuttering mess, your words barely intelligible when Hyunjin picked up the pace, pushing his fingers into you at an angle that hit your most sensitive spot every time. It didn’t take long to have you seeing stars, your orgasm a tight curl in your stomach. Pressing his face to your tits again it only took one more harsh suck on your nipple and the knot unfurled, your walls clenching as you came hard on his fingers. Your orgasm was causing your body to be wrecked with shivers, his name falling over your lips like a mantra until your throat felt sore. His fingers were still inside you when you slumped against him, his free hand cradling your head, letting it rest on your shoulder.
“The fuck did we just do, Hyunjin?” You mumbled, uncertainty lacing through your post orgasm haze. You were far from calmed down, body still tingling from head to toes, a shiver running down your spine every time he moved his fingers inside you just the slightest bit, but with it came another realization.
Your crush on Hyunjin wasn’t gone. Possibly had never left, and now that he’d made you come on his fingers it was crashing over you like a tidal wave. You needed this to mean something because if it didn’t you were almost sure there was no way you could get over it.
“I don’t know about you, but fingering you in that cute little skirt was definitely on my bucket list for tonight.”
His words were still slurred. God, how had you managed to completely ignore that slur once he kissed you? He was drunk and you let him finger you in public because he was horny. His god damn bucket list for the night. Were you ranked lower or higher than getting shit faced in a cheap campus bar?
Anger was welling up in your chest - at yourself for being so stupid, for thinking you were over him, and at Hyunjin for making you a drunk fuck and disregarding over two years of friendship.
It wasn’t fair, because it happened, friends casually fucked, and he couldn’t have possibly known it would hurt you. You couldn’t have known either, but now it was too late. The squelching sound resonating in the silence when you lifted yourself off his lap made you cringe and you couldn’t smooth out your skirt and step away fast enough. Your shirt was wet with his spit, and you could feel him all over your body, which only made everything all that much worse.
“So, we’re done here now and that’s that.”
It was supposed to be a question, but even to your ears it sounded more like a statement, and you were almost grateful. A question could’ve meant that you wanted more. You didn’t want him to know before, and he certainly couldn’t know now.
For a short moment Hyunjin was looking at you with an expression you couldn’t decipher before he carelessly wiped his fingers on his pants, completely ignoring the awfully visible tent from his straining dick.
“Want me to walk you home?”
You bit your lip in order to stop yourself from crying out in frustration. Who was this person, and where had your best friend gone? Hyunjin cared, he always did, so could he not tell how you were clearly struggling, how you were barely keeping it together while he completely shut himself off from you emotionally? You would not lose this friendship because of one stupid mistake.
“Yeah, please.”
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thefirstknife · 1 year ago
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Glad to see that drifter's ghost is just as unsettling as I imagined. Why do u have cabal brains my guy. Why is it described as having "flaps", I've never seen another ghost described like that. I want to meet it so badly
Also interesting that it can change its eye colour at will, apparently using it to communicate. I like to think it uses morse code. I always assumed that the red eye mode was to signify its ability to manipulate darkness (i think that was the point of all its mods iirc??), and blue was switching back to using the light
Shell flaps is actually a standard term for all Ghosts! It's often used to describe their expressions. There's a lot of it with Glint:
"Since we're undercover, you know what I need? A disguise shell . Something… mysterious." Glint hovered eagerly over Crow's shoulder, his shell flaps tilted encouragingly.
Excuse me, um, Techeun Ylaia," the Ghost began. "Now that you're awake, do you mind if I ask you a few questions?" His shell flaps tilted sheepishly.
"You really think that Humans created the Headless Ones?" Glint tilted his shell flaps obstinately. ... Glint's shell flaps went slack in confusion.
But other than that, yeah! Same! I love Drifter's Ghost and I wish we had more of it, this FotL stuff is really good for it. It's 100% unhinged and we have no clue what it even fully looks like, but it's definitely unsettling since it's made from other Ghost shell parts.
Link to the lore tab! I LOVE how it scared Immaru. Immaru acts like a tough guy but then he met an actual tough guy and couldn't handle it. I'm also excited about the possibility that Drifter and his Ghost did this on purpose, which would imply that they had a conversation about it and that Drifter gave his Ghost a go-ahead to do this to Immaru if he shows up. Something about how the Ghost just gleefully presented all the weird shit Drifter collects gives me that vibe. Drifter is usually secretive about it and I don't think his Ghost would do it without his permission. So I'm losing it about the implication that they actually talked about it because I so desperately want Drifter and his Ghost to make up and be buddies. Bonded over messing with Immaru.
Also yeah, his Ghost can change eye colour at will! Here, when it got transformed:
The next morning, it was forever changed, but it had a brand new shell of armor, reinforced by the guts of five other Ghosts. Its eye was bright red. It could no longer speak. The blue setting was still there, accessible whenever we needed it. But the red setting would save our lives.
I like the interpretation that the colour signifies what it's using. The same lore tab also explains what it actually does, sort of, and it seems to utilise both a wider range of Light as well as Darkness:
Ghost could now tap into spectrums of Light no one on Earth had yet seen. Spectrums beyond the Light. Don't get me wrong. I'm no herald of the Dark. This was a kit-bash job. But it was a renaissance for us. Gambit banks, Motes of Dark, the Derelict. They were all innovated out of that red setting.
I also love the idea that it uses the switching between colours as a sort of communication, like morse code. One of my fave Ghosts, I want more of it so badly.
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shotmrmiller · 9 months ago
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toni i am absolutely smashed rn and saw that u said we could rant in your inbox so here we go it will just be me gushing about how absolutely cool you are like ur account was one of the first i ever found after returning to tumblr since like 2015 and it’s really cool and you write so well and i’m GOBSMACKED that someone like you exists. hello?? beautiful. sunshine. stunning. the highlight of my day seein those lil toni drabbles on my page. embarrassing enoigh i was talking about cod with some irl friends and now we all read ur shit like a lil gaggle of groupies ha ha good stuff mwah never stop being so FREAKING cool (please accemt my proposal, i have ring pops you can have the green one it’s the best) also for the sake of sober me shhh pretend this never happened ok hve AN AMAZING!!! Day night morning evening afternoon.
peace, love, kyle garrick is so freaking sexy,
elle
take this simon art
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sorry i scribbled out my oc ok i’m SORRY remember to hydrate and continue on being FREAKING beautiful 🥰🥰🥰💖
idk how to delete that man i’m so sorry i figured out how to delete that last image it was a picture of an apple if you wanted context maybe i should add it back okay no i won’t
anyway sometimes i think about how badly i want biblically accurate ghost to love me and then i think about how i would probably cry if he breathed on me and then gag the second man starts cookin shit like beans on toast?? the fuck is that.
over and up and out,
elle aka elle
YOU ARE SO COOL TONI THANK YOU FOR EXISTING GOOD LORD
i don't remember the last time i had a ring pop but i'll accept it so long we get eloped i don't want a big ol thing but if we dont go to herculaneum then our marriage will be nulled faster than kim k's with that big brute from the NBA.
kyle is so freaking sexy i agree. i don't use that word cuz it gives me the heebies but for you, since youre one drink/edible away from gazing upon a biblically accurate angel in the flesh. feathers? eyes??? he's A CRAZY SEXY BABE and i'd let him stalk me :}
and i also think about BA!simon a lot.
lmfaooooooo beans on toast comment has me screaming
and you're SO real for scarring him up. i need simon with jagged scars that have puckered edges and some of them pull some skin taut and--
you get my picture. that man is simply grotesque and it makes him all that more alluring. like yes king, tell me all about how you got those scars.
+ his like resting bitch face is what i'm here for.
incredible art wish i had that kind of talent but alas all im good at is getting bruised like a peach and throwing my arse in a circle for fictional men 😔
drink your water or you're gonna have one killer headache lmao.
all blues with no clues,
toni ❤️
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menlove · 9 months ago
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I think the thing for me is, if I put myself in Paul's shoes of being in love with John and believing he's straight, I would probably just assume that John did all that crazy shit to hurt me for no real reason. Which did seem to be Paul's perspective to be fair, and I can only imagine how much more insanity-inducing it would be for him to be told by Yoko or whoever that John had feelings for him, probably thinking for a long time "well it sure didn't fucking feel like it!!"
HSGSHSH THATS THE THING UNFORTUNATELY..... LIKE....... I do truly think this is what happened. To Me. and add to it his doubts after johns death that john ever loved/liked him Which He's Voiced...... man. although I do think they understood each other better than that so I feel like. hm. In My Mind. I have no proof of this just going on vibes alone & a like 3 hour conversation with @o-boogies abt literally this exact thing last night. it's like. To Me? he was so assured of John's love (in whatever manner) for so long so then when it's not there & john has not only moved on but is trashing him publicly and saying they were never close it's like the rug was ripped out from under him & he wasn't sure if he ever understood or knew john as well as he thought he did. like I DO think he knew john loved him and just had repression a mile long (like. he did nearly beat a man to death this is such a vital detail about johns Gay Internal Drama). but only After things fell apart did he come to doubt that & I think it took a lot of people going "yeah no he did Love You (in whatever form)" to like. soothe that? but when you listen to his solo stuff it's....... god it's SO raw how much he is just SCREAMING for John to look at him and love him and see him. like even before his solo career we have songs like oh! darling and I will (.....& the "can you take me back" jam which I will consistently and always overanalyze)
I don't however....... hm. I don't think they ever had A Clear Moment is part of the whole issue. like idk that either of them necessarily "rejected" the other more than they were both just incredibly bad at communicating and wanted to rely on telepathy which is not a real thing that exists. so for Both Of Them the whole thing was like a punch to the face. for john because he just desperately wanted paul to React and for paul bc this relationship he had been very assured in was suddenly twisted into something very ugly and depressing
who was straight who was bi who was gay I Have No Clue I just know those two loved each other so deeply and hurt each other so badly and WANTED to be more (whether u subscribe to the idea that they were strictly in an unspoken emotional thing or the idea that they Have Fucked Nasty).
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dameronology · 2 years ago
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timing's a bitch [5/5] - s.h
summer '87
“oh my love, i lied to you, but i never needed to" - liar, paramore (x)
“if you have chemistry, you only need one other thing…timing. but timing is a bitch” - how i met your mother
a.k.a the three times that steve harrington chose the wrong moment, the one time that you chose the wrong moment, and the one time you both got it right (series masterlist)
a/n: i am sooooo sorry for how long this took. i have a long list of excuses but i shall not bore you. we have, however, finally made it to the end and i owe you all the biggest fucking thank you in the world for all your support on this series. i love u all and i hope this is the ending u wanted <3
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Twelve months was the longest period of time you’d gone without seeing Steve Harrington.
You’d seen him basically every day for your entire goddamn life and then he’d just…disappeared. Left the arcade in a cloud of shame and then you hadn’t seen him since. He was fine; you knew that much. A quick call to his parents had let you know that he was with them in Florida. Fuck knows why, because as far as you’d known he had hated his parents almost as much as he hated Florida. But, as it had turned out, knowing didn’t account for much. You thought you knew Harrington’s every move, but everything in the last year had completely blindsided you. Even if it was just an anomaly, it was enough to make you question everything. It had hurt more than you cared to admit – the sudden revelation, the disappearance, the lack of contact – but the realisation that he’d admitted to loving you had carried you for just a little while.
Only a little while. Three months at the most. After that, you lost hope and moved on.
Did it feel like part of you was missing? Completely. Was there anything you could do about it? Absolutely not.
Steve’s name became something of a curse word amongst your friendship circle. Friendship triangle, actually. The combination of Eddie and Robin had been the only thing carrying you through. Hawkins had changed as you knew it, because as it turns out, you and Steve had shared a pair of rose-coloured lenses. The town sucked without them and man you hoped Florida was even worse for him. Maybe one of the crocodiles or swamps would swallow him up. At least that way you could get closure.
It was hard not to think about him; to think about whether or not he’d started dating again, about how much he was probably suffocating under the same roof as his parents. The part of you that had been hurt by him wanted so badly for him to be aching too – for you, for the familiar, for the realisation that Tampa Bay might have been great, but no place was truly great without you – but the rest of you just pined. For him, for his dumb sarcasm and ridiculous ability to be so smart about everything, for his shitty driving and that stupid cologne and the cursed BMW that you were afraid to shine a UV light in for fear of a live Jackson Pollock experience.
You missed him.
Eddie and Robin were good company. Every time you were sad, you would find yourself with them at the Hideout, laughing about something stupid and then revelling in the realisation that you were going to be fine. Everything was going to be fine. You had your friends.
“So…I like her, but I don’t like like her, you know?” Eddie’s aimless ramblings filled your ears one cold Wednesday night. Class had been long, but not as long as this conversation. Was he even going the right way home? You’d no clue.
“So, break up with her then, Eds,” you replied, unable to resist an eyeroll. “It’s obvious.”
“But she’s so hot!”
“And?!” you shot back. “You can’t just hold out for someone because they’re hot.”
“Right. If you did, you’d be in a Florida swamp by now.”
You shot Eddie a glare. “Watch it.”
“I regretted it as soon as I said it,” he grimaced. “Sorry. I really am.”
Eddie reached across and squeezed your arm, giving you a smile. He was far too easy to forgive.
As it turned out, he had been going the right way, because your apartment building had finally made an appearance in the distance. One of the better developments in your life in the past year had been that you, Robin and Eddie found a place together. It was a complete shithole, and you were pretty sure your neighbour was a pervert, but it was yours. More yours than your place in New York had been. 
Hopping out the van, you shut the door behind you and fumbled around for your keys. Eddie wasn’t far behind, just taking a moment to assess the damage the pavement had done to his wheel when he’d collided it with at the morning. Something about the government shouldn’t have put a pavement there and I don’t pay taxes for this shithole to destroy my van.
Unlocking the door, you stepped inside and was immediately greeted by Robin. She was in attack mode, elbowing her way past you and towards Eddie.
“Munson!” she yelled. “How many times have I told you not to smoke week inside? I’m trying to study for my finals but all I can smell is your skanky goddamn stoner broccoli- “
“- woah, woah, woah!” Eddie held his hands up in defence. “Before you rip my head off, don’t you want to have that conversation with our beloved roommate first?”
You glanced at them, thinning your eyes. “The hell are you talking about?”
“Uh…” Robin trailed off. “We should go inside for this.”
“Or you could just tell me here?” you suggested.
Despite your advice, your friends both took an arm each and lead you inside to the sofa, where they laid you down. Robin did have a point about the smell in here.
“You should sit down for this,” Eddie began.
You propped yourself up on your elbows. “I’m lying down?”
“Oh…” he trailed off. “Then you might want to sit up for this.”
Rolling your eyes, you sat up and swung your legs round so they were on the floor. “What did you want to talk to me about?”
Robin gulped. “Steve called.”
“Here?” your eyebrows shot up.
“Yeah. Six times, actually,” she continued.
“What?!” you exclaimed. “When?”
Eddie and Robin glanced at each other.
“Guys,” you pushed. “When?”
“Three months ago. And also, nine months ago, and also ten months ago, and he also tried calling my house the week he left and…” Eddie trailed off. “Why do you look so angry?”
“Why the fuck are you only telling me this now?!”
“We thought it was best you didn’t know!” Robin chimed in. “He just made you so miserable and-
“- that’s not your decision to make!” you snapped.
“No, you’re right…. we know that. Now. We know that now,” Eddie said. “We just thought it was worth telling you because rumour has it, he’s back in town.”
“Rumour has it from who?”
“My eyes,” Robin admitted. “I saw him yesterday at the coffee shop down the road. I think he was looking for you.”
--
It wasn’t in your nature to dramatically storm off. It was even less in your nature to steal Eddie Munson’s keys and aimlessly speed off into the night, but you probably earnt the right to do after learning that your best friends had been lying to you. Betrayal from Steve had sucked, but even more so from them. What sucked even more was the realisation that he hadn’t been ignoring you for a year. That was a lot to deal with.
You found yourself driving to Lover’s Lake. It had been an unconscious decision – less conscious that the one to fuck up Eddie’s tyres even more on the way over – but it was weirdly peaceful once you got there. Freaky alien portals aside, it was a pretty relaxing place when it was empty at night. The water was completely dark, lit up only by the moon and stars, where you could be alone with your thoughts and-
“I have a gun!”
The words from your mouth had been quick – and a lie – when you heard someone step on a twig behind you. It wasn’t the worse lie in the world. You could have had a gun in your pockets. Maybe. How big were guns anyway? You didn’t know.
“If you come a step closer I will fucking END you-“
“- you don’t carry a gun.”
There was only one person in the world who could be truly certain of that decision. Steve fucking Harrington.
A beat passed and before he could say anything else, you’d thrown yourself at him. You both fell to the ground – Steve breaking your fall with his body and letting out an ow – and for a split second, you weren’t sure you were decking him or fighting him. The decision came to you naturally, it turned out, because when he tried to sit up, you tackled him back into the ground with a hug. Steve sat there aimlessly for a second, but quickly wrapped his gangly arms back around you.
“Fuck,” you murmured. “What the fuck, Steve?!”
“Couldn’t I be asking you the same thing?!” he demanded. “You’ve been ignoring my calls for a year!”
You took a step back from the hug, glowering for a moment. “I haven’t. I promise.”
“Well you haven’t been answering them-“
“- it was Eddie and Robin!” you cut him off. “We moved in together…it’s too fucking long to explain, but they are meddlers. They are meddling meddlers. I’ve spent the last year waiting for you to call Steve and for fuck’s sake, man! It’s me. If you are genuinely stupid enough to think that I would willingly ignore your calls then you don’t know me at all!”
Steve was silent for a second. That was a lot of information to process. It was good information – encouraging, indeed - but it also meant he had to change his entire worldview that he’d spent the last year adjusting to. Not unlike you had in the last hour.
“Besides…” you carried on. Yeah, it was all coming out now. “You’re the one who accidentally confessed your love for me. You’re the one who ran away! So even if I had been ignoring your calls, who’s to say it wasn’t justified?”
“No, yeah…you’re right,” Steve murmured. “I’m sorry. I really am. I know that doesn’t cut it at all. It doesn’t even begin to make it right but if you would just give me the chance, I promise I will make it up to you.”
“A chance?” you raised your eyebrows. “What kind of chance?”
“The same kind of chance I asked for the night you left for college almost two years ago,” he said. “The chance that’s been fucked over and over because of bad timing-”
“- have you ever considered that maybe you were the one who was about twelve hours behind everyone else?”
“Have you ever considered that maybe you were twelve hours ahead?”
You smiled. “Get to the point, Steve.”
“I love you,” Steve declared. He flung his arms out at as he did, almost as though he were announcing it to the dark clouds above you. “I’m sorry for running away, but in doing it, I realised there’s only one place I want to run and that’s to wherever you are. Even if it’s almost midnight, by a lake, on a freezing cold night.”
“How did you even know I was here?” you asked.
“You have three places you go when you’re not home and that’s here, my house or the record shop and – look, I don’t want to rush you, but it would be really wonderful if we could circle back to where you stand vis-à-vis that love declaration-”
“- fucking obviously I love you too,” you cut him off.
Steve smiled.  There was no doubt in his mind that you were still seething but finally, after two years of swings-and-roundabouts, you’d finally said the same thing at the same time. It had been a two year long head-ache – one you still felt dizzy from – but hey. You’d finally caught each other at the same moment. And god forbid you’d ever let him go.
“But this has to be it now, Steve,” you poked him in the chest. “No one-night stands, no other people, no bullshit. I can’t take bullshit.”
“This is it,” he said affirmatively. “I promise. I’m not ever letting you out of my sight again.”
“You promise?”
Steve grabbed your hand, pulling your pinky out of your balled up fist and wrapping it around his. “You have my word.”
Finally, he kissed you.
You’d kissed multiple times before; that fateful night two years ago, the even more fateful one in New York, and the time it almost happened in the lake just two miles from where you were stood. All of those things had taken you a step closer to this but the moment in itself felt like a weight off your shoulders. Almost like it was something that had been written in the stars since the first day you’d thrown a Lego brick at him, and both of you had been holding your breath waiting for you to happen ever since.
“I’m gonna kill Robin and Eddie, by the way,” you quietly said.
“Don’t,” Steve murmured against you. “I only just got you back. I can’t have you going to prison.”
"Yeah, fair point," you laughed. "Besides, if I can forgive you, I can forgive them."
"Hey!"
"Sorry..." you trailed off. "I love you."
Steve smiled. "I love you too."
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worrior-studios · 10 months ago
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I'll love you no matter who you are
Cws: Mentions of transphobia and abuse
Alfred couldn’t help but gulp as she waited for her mate, Phat Dog, to meet her under the abandoned bridge where they usually meet. She shuffled her paws and sighed.
Recently, Alfred discovered that she’s trans. She has hated being male throughout her entire life. Alfred just has never been masculine and she hates the thought of being perceived as a guy.
All Alfred wants is to be a girl. She wants to be a girl and she wants everybody to count her as a girl. She doesn’t want to be a guy. She just wants to be a girl. Besides, everybody around her calls her a sissy faggot anyway. Maybe that means they will support her…
But at the same time, Alfred doubts that. She lives in a shitty place, full of crooks, rapists, homophobes, and transphobes. If she comes out as trans, she probably will get raped in the streets. But Alfred needs to come out to Phat Dog as trans.
Alfred isn’t sure how Phat Dog will react and she partly doesn’t want to tell him. She’s scared that Phat Dog will leave her and break up with her. Or worse, tell everybody and then have Alfred get assaulted and hurt.
But Phat Dog is the only person that Alfred trusts so she hopes that he will support her. If not, then Alfred isn’t sure how much longer she will last without killing herself…
Suddenly, Phat Dog appeared right in front of Alfred and he sat down next to her. A grin was plastered on his face and he nuzzled Alfred before speaking.
“Hey man, what’s up?” Phat Dog asked.
“I-I need to tell you something.” Alfred blurted out once Phat Dog spoke.
Alfred tried her best to not to sound like an anxious mess but it was obvious that she was upset. She couldn’t even look Phat Dog in the eyes.
Phat Dog tilted his head. “What do you need to tell me, Alfie?”
“U-Uh….” Alfred trailed off.
She wanted so badly to blurt out that she was now a girl but at the same time, Alfred was just so horrified that she couldn’t even speak. “N-Nevermind!”
“Please tell me what’s wrong.” Phat Dog urged. “I want you to tell me what’s on your mind. Don’t hide it from me.”
“Promise me you won’t hate or leave me.” Alfred pleaded, trembling.
Alfred has been left by everybody in her life and she isn't sure that she could handle Phat Dog leaving her as well. She would probably slit her throat and kill herself if Phat Dog left her. She couldn’t take her love, leaving her all alone…
“You know I’m never going to leave you, no matter what you tell me, Alfie.” Phat Dog told his partner. “You don’t have to worry about that at all. Please tell me what’s wrong. I’m worried.”
Even if Alfred was still paranoid, she felt a bit calmer. She closed her eyes and trembled as she tried her best to tell Phat Dog everything.
“I-I’m not a male.” Alfred blurted out. “I-I never felt like a guy and I know that I’m not one. I-I”m a girl! I-I suppose I’m trans… I just hate being a guy and all I want to be is a guy. P-Please don’t leave me for this! Please don’t hate me and please don’t stop loving me.”
“Alfie I’ll love you no matter who you are.” Phat Dog said suddenly. “If you want to be a girl, I’ll still love you. Hell, you could be a cat and I’d still date you.” “R-Really?” Alfred asked. “You would? Even if I were a cat?” “Well, I’m not sure that’s the point but yeah.” Phat Dog replied. “Although I’m new to this sort of thing, so If I misgender you or something, then I’m sorry. What pronouns and stuff do you want me to call you? They are called pronouns, right?”
“They are called pronouns.” Alfred replied. “And She/her please. I don’t want to be called anything masculine. I know I’m not masculine at all.”
“Then I'll call you by she/her.” Phat Dog smiled. “Is there anything else you want me to call you? Like a new name or something?”
Alfred thought for a second. She has always hated her name but at the same time, she has no clue what else she can call herself.
“I hate my name.” Alfred admitted. “But I don’t know what else to name myself…”
“I mean, I can try and help you but I gave myself the name Phat Dog so I don’t know if you want me to give you a name.” Phat Dog chuckled.
“I like your name.” Alfred smiled. “Any name suggestion that you give me, I’ll love.” Alfred doesn’t care if Phat Dog gives her the most basic names out there. Just the fact that he cares enough about her to give her name suggestions means so much to Alfred.
“Hm…” Phat Dog thought for a few seconds, clearly having no idea what to suggest. “You could name yourself Alfem if you want. It’s kind of like your current name. Although, at the same time, it does sound pretty stupid, I guess. But at the same time, it is a feminine name.”
The newly-named Alfem couldn’t help but laugh. “I’ll name myself Alfem.” “You don’t have to go along with my stupid name if you don’t want to.” Phat Dog told her.
“I like it and I want to be called Alfem.” Alfem then added something once she realized it. “Please don’t call me she/her pronouns in public and only call me Alfem when we are alone.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want to be outed. I know that you support me but at the same time, I know many others won’t support me.” Alfem pointed out. “I can’t be outed or I’ll get hurt.”
“If anybody hurts you, they have to go through me.” Phat Dog growled. “But I understand. I’ll do whatever I can to make you comfortable and if I make a mistake or something, I’m sorry.” “It’s okay.” Alfem smiled. “Thank you for supporting me.”
“It’s not a problem at all, Alfie.”
Alfem curled up next to Phat Dog and smiled. Even if her life is hell, she’s lucky that she has a mate as supportive as Phat Dog.
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temis-de-leon · 5 months ago
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I'M FREE TO COMMENT!!! Your Asmodeus, Beelzebub and Belphegor have a nightmare where he rejected you post is so good! I love it especially Asmodeus can't live without the support of his fans 💕💕, he can't help but compare them despite knowing they're not quite the same ⚖️, he felt like he's ungrateful to his fans despite feeling honoured by their confession 🥺, he rejected with ease but he wanted to comfort them 🫴, he didn't realise how much he missed their love ❤️, he also realise how much they care about him not just his looks 😔 he tried to see the look of love in their eyes but it faded as weeks passed by 🥲, he wondered if they would have look at him again if he had changed himself enough 😞, he noticed how they looked at Lucifer instead 👀, he realised it's too late by how they're looking at Lucifer 💔, they woke up to his sobbing 😭, they couldn't really understand what was he saying ❓, just how badly his state is because of the nightmare 😢, he threw himself at them as he murmured 🫂, what they could hear him say 💔, they realised he isn't conscious 😴, they laid under him while hoping whatever is bothering him will stop 🛑, Beelzebub only sees them as a friend as well as his family matters weighs on his mind 😔, their presence won't change the fact his family isn't complete 😞, his first real interaction with them was when he was willing to kill them over custard (⁠゜⁠o⁠゜⁠; they loved thanks to his brothers being fond of them 👍, he gradually grew closer to them when they stayed in his room 👥, he thought their friendship was mutual 👍🫶, he told them how he only seen them platonically when they confessed 🥲, he promised nothing will change but it strained their relationship 😢, he thought about accepting it instead 🤔, the irony is he fell for them when they overcame their crush on him 💔, he woke up wanting to feel some part of them against him 🥺, he wouldn't have let them go if they were here 🫂, he felt unwell but looked around until he saw an empty chair 🪑, they returned to the room & asked if they woke him up ❓, he wanted to make sure they're real but he doesn't know if he deserve to 🥺, he felt detached from his body so he feared he might hurt them 🤕, they had a simple explanation why they left for a short while 📱, he felt relieved when they kissed his forehead 😚, he would do the same to them if he wasn't too tired 😚, they told how he still felt warm so they were about to get a wet towel 🤒, they called him honey 🍯 he's exhausted from pulling them to him 🫂, he kept thinking of them calling him honey 🤭, they reassured him with their words & actions 🥹, Belphegor hated them which I can see it happening 😅, he found their desire to help him amusing 😏, he doesn't think they would be useful to his plan 🤔, he barely tolerated them because he needed their connections 🤐, he listened to them talking while complaining 👂, he was shocked at their feelings but made use of it (⁠●⁠_⁠_⁠●⁠), he wanted to hurt them but he changed his mind after knowing the truth (⁠☉⁠。⁠☉⁠)⁠!, he thought they would treat him the same as they did before knowing the truth but was proven wrong 😨, they don't even dare to look at him 😣, he thought his apology was enough (⁠゜⁠o⁠゜⁠; they woke up to a loud noise & the scent of lavender 🪻, his words are definitely enough to let them know why it is 🗣️, they're confused but knows he's hiding something 🤐, he asked again which they tried to find a clue ❓, I absolutely love how even they're annoyed with him as he's unclear as well as he did kicked out 👍, they guessed what he wanted to hear but chose the longer route like me 😁, their fingers ran through his hair 👍, he apologised while holding them delicately 👍, they were confused by his second apology 🤨, and he fell asleep by the time they felt brave enough to ask 😴 Thank you so much for doing my request because I love it so much :) I'll read the next part as soon as I can! - Romance Anon
OH MY GOOOD
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ROMANCE?? THANK U! 🩷
How was your summer, omg 🥹 It's been so long
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