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orbitariums · 4 years ago

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𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐦 | 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐮𝐩 | 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 (𝟏𝟓)

part 14

hey y’all!! missed yall again ♡ hope y’all luvvv this chapter <3

also, thinking of making a new taglist for this soooo just reply to this post or send me an inbox if u wanna stay on this current taglist & lmk if u aren’t on it and want to be added!!

playlist

word count: 7.7k

warnings: age gap, smut

𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐦 | 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧: 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐮𝐩 | 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬

You practically ran up to the edge of the cliff, only slowing down partially because Steve was yelling at you from behind. You couldn’t help it though, you were obsessed with the scenery already, and being able to see it from this point of view was probably the best part of hiking for you every time. You hadn’t gone for a while, not since you’d been home in Cali, and Steve surprised you this morning by telling you to get into some comfortable clothes you could easily move in. Half your wardrobe was that since you were always outside, so the request was easy to fill. You honestly hadn’t even been expecting it when Steve drove all the way to this beautiful woodsy hiking location upstate.

It was quiet, and there weren’t many other hikers on the trail, so it felt like you were alone together. You talked amongst yourselves, the low chatter of your voices complimenting the sounds of various birds flitting by and the crunch of the dirt and grass beneath your sneakers.

You walked at a slow pace, taking it all in. Your time with Steve was coming to a close, and you found yourself wanting to take more and more time to remember each and every single moment as clearly as you could. In your mind, you documented the warm, comforting breeze of the ever present summer on your skin, the low, rich timbre of Steve’s voice. You noted each and every bird sound you heard, promising to come back someday and bird watch at this very same location. Most of all, you made sure to sink into the warmth of Steve’s body bristling against yours every once in a while when you got closer on a narrow part of the path. You were committed to being in the moment and being mindful.

“Slow down, slow down!” Steve called from behind, and you just glanced at him over your shoulder with a well intentioned laugh, then looked back at the sky ahead of you.

You raised your hands up in the air, stretching your palms up to the sky and hooted, cheering about nothing in particular. Every smile, every laugh, every moment you tilted your face up to the vast, azur blue sky and let the sun beam down on your face, was genuine and triumphant.

“It’s fucking beautiful out here, Steve!” you exclaimed, puffing your chest out like you were trying to enclose the crisp, balmy air in your heart.

You were practically hysterical. You belonged in spaces like these, outside where you could share your thoughts with the trees or the water, or not think at all. You always felt your best when you were at the beach or on a hiking trail with your friends, finally able to let go of life’s vice grip on you. You were so much happier these days, in a constant state of healing, and the results were truly showing out.

“I’m glad you like it,” Steve chuckled at your excitement, kicking at the dirt beneath his feet.

“Come on, babe,” you beckoned him over, wanting him to bask in this moment with you.

He trudged over, and when he was close enough to reach out to, you lugged him over as much as you could. Although he was like a stone, his eyes still widened with worry when you nearly toppled over carelessly, despite the fact that you were on the ledge of a cliff.

“Slow down, doll, you’re gonna kill us both,” Steve huffed out a dry laugh, still smiling all the while.

You smiled smugly, glancing over at him with big doll eyes,

“You’d save me, though, I know you can.”

Steve just pulled you under his armpit, keeping you close. In the odd chance that you did fall in this moment, you’d probably be smiling all the way down, forgetting the agony that would be sure to come, all because you were with him. Maybe it was just the fresh air making you a little delusional, but you’d let yourself be delusional just for a moment.

“Let’s make sure no saving will be necessary, hmm?” Steve hummed, and you grinned, nuzzling your face up into his neck.

“Fair enough,” you sighed with a restless smile. “Seriously, thank you for taking me out here. It’s beautiful.”

Beautiful was an understatement. It was funny, you spent so much time outside but you couldn’t ever describe how much nature touched you. You didn’t have the words to describe the way the lush trees at the bottom seemed to sway with the wind, or the way the animals swooped from treetops and went along their merry ways, all while cohabitating peacefully, or the way the landscape looked from all the way up here.

Steve just pulled you closer, and you stood there in complete silence and stillness for a while, just watching as the sky drifted above you. Steve was glad you were the happiest he’d seen you, it seemed as though even though your days together were coming to a close, you were growing happier by the minute. You didn’t think your goodbye would be teary-eyed, because after this wonderful experience, you knew you’d both be sure to see each other again. You weren’t at all in the same place in your lives, that was for sure. You were just getting out of college and making a real life for yourself, meanwhile Steve was out saving the world and doing things you could only dream of doing. You weren’t comparing the two, but it was simply the truth. Neither of you were in the same place, but being here together now made you feel more united than ever. If it took a while to come to a place where you could always be together, then so be it. Right now, you’d just enjoy this moment while it lasted, without haste to plan for the future, because you both had full faith that things would work out.

“It’s funny, this is my first time going hiking. Like, on purpose. I’ve trekked through Sokovia and I’ve had to find my way out of multiple jungles and mazes before they blew up, but I’ve never just enjoyed it like this. On purpose,” Steve said after a while, and you grinned up at him, pleased that you were giving him more and more options to expand his personal hobbies and live outside of his work.

“I get the feeling that even though you’ve seen everything… there’s a lot you haven’t seen,” you noted, and Steve nodded.

That was exactly what he was trying to say. He’d done more than most people could ever dream of doing, he’d escaped danger in the nick of time a thousand times over, he’d saved lives, and yet, all the while, he hadn’t really lived himself. He learned a lot from his job and from the team he felt so grateful to be around on a regular basis, but amidst all the chaos of his daily routine, he’d forgotten to live. Sure, he had movie nights with his team and sometimes went out to eat with them, but there was so much more than that. So much that he hadn’t seen yet. You were showing him that there was, and he was showing you that there was space to trust and love. You shared a mutual core, full of life lessons and valuable exchanges.

“Yeah. Exactly that.”

You squeezed his hip as you started to turn around, facing away from the edge of the cliff and back to the trail, which you were almost finished hiking.

“Come on. Let’s go get something to eat.”

| | |

Steve was leaning against the arch of the open bathroom door, his head cocked in intrigue and admiration as he watched you do your makeup. You were finishing up, putting clear lip gloss on over the brown lip liner you’d used, a classic, 90s combo. You were gazing into the mirror, hardly acknowledging his presence for the purpose of perfecting your look, meanwhile, Steve was enthralled by you, despite the silence. You were also wearing a wine-colored minidress that clung to every inch and curve of your body, accentuating your best assets, which didn’t help with Steve’s staring problem at the moment.

You had your elbows resting on either side of the sink and you were leaning in, smoothing your lips together and puckering them the very minute you finished, adjusting your position in front of the mirror to get a better look at yourself. Finally, you paid Steve some attention, and glanced over at him.

“You ready?” you asked nonchalantly.

“The question is, are you?” Steve asked, raising his eyebrows.

You rolled your eyes playfully in response.

“You should be used to this by now, you know,” you sang, and Steve grinned, wrapping an arm around your bare shoulders as you came close.

“I know, I know. I kind of live for it, it’s so fun watching you do your makeup.”

“Want me to try doing yours someday?” you quipped excitedly.

“I’m not against it,” Steve chuckled.

Tonight you were going to a fancy restaurant for dinner, like, fancy fancy. The kind of fancy that even Steve wasn’t accustomed to. Steve had money, but he wasn’t a very sophisticated guy, he preferred to be more casual. You on the other hand, would probably fit right in. Your regal energy and poised way of carrying yourself made it that much easier. But, you were still fresh out of college, and you weren’t a rich girl by any means. So of course you got excited when you got to get all dolled up to do something very nice.

You and Steve sat at a table near the back, the restaurant lighting dim and dark, a candle flickering between the two of you as the sun set outside. You toyed with the rim of your wine glass, taking careful sips so you didn’t mess your lip gloss up. To Steve’s lament, you would only let him kiss you on the cheek, because you didn’t want to ruin your finely crafted lip gloss.

As nice as it all was, both you and Steve couldn’t help but be reminded of the fact that you’d be leaving soon, and that your days together were coming to a close. You were both levelheaded enough not to get too sad about the fact, but it was admittedly bittersweet. But you decided you’d at least make light of it, and smiled smugly at Steve,

“What are you gonna do when I’m gone, lover boy?”

Steve glanced up at you, that charming smile teasing his lips as his blue eyes gazed into yours.

“Miss you.”

You tilted your head to the side as if you were challenging him,

“You gonna call me every night?”

“Whenever possible,” Steve replied warmly, and you continued,

“Gonna send me flowers still?”

“Of course,” Steve affirmed.

You giggled to yourself, thinking of your last question,

“Are you gonna watch my cam show?”

Steve laughed, shaking his head,

“Who would I be if I didn’t support my girl?”

You grinned fully, reaching over to squeeze Steve’s cheek,

“You’re so precious.”

“Uh,” Steve cleared his throat. “I actually wanted to ask you something.”

“Yeah?” you furrowed your brows, interested in what he had to say.

He seemed nervous, wringing his hands together slightly before placing them on his lap and under the table so you wouldn’t worry about him. He had been thinking about this for a while now, and he’d already talked to you about it, but even after the discussion you had, he’d still been grappling with whether or not he should go through with this. He didn’t want it to feel like he was moving too fast or putting undue pressure on you, because he knew how important it was for you to live in the moment. Because of you he found himself questioning a lot of what he thought was true or moral. You had a good head screwed on your shoulders and you were still much more relaxed than Steve, not as focused on tradition or expectations. But he still found himself wanting to settle things down officially with you.

Looking into your caring eyes, he knew he wasn’t making a mistake, that despite all the trials and tribulations of your relationship together in the past, he’d regret it if he never got to know you. He could’ve never imagined being in this position, but by the look in your eyes, which were glittering and shining with pure, contagious joy whenever you saw him, he knew this wasn’t something he wanted to miss out on. He was about to forget himself and sink into how beautiful you were, as if he didn’t have other things at hand, but he remembered himself at the perfect time.

“I-I’m not always so great with words, so bear with me,” Steve started.

“Steve,” you giggled cheerily. “Spit it out babe, it’s okay.”

Your reassurance seemed to resurrect him and he chuckled, shaking his head and rubbing his temples. Then he looked up again, taking your hand and gazing into your eyes, never ceasing eye contact.

“YN. I really like you, alright? And this is something so new and so odd for the both of us. I mean, I don’t know anyone who’s had what we have and I know a lot of weird people - not that this is weird, but-”

You chuckled, scoffing,

“Well it’s definitely not normal.”

You reached across the table, squeezing Steve’s hand. He grinned, chuckling back and nodded, continuing,

“Yeah. Definitely. And, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. About labels and what we talked about, and I know you’re not looking to rush into anything too soon because of how you’ve been treated in the past but…” here, Steve almost got emotional, thinking of how special you were to him, unable to believe that you’d been treated so poorly in the past— all he wanted was to show you just how you made him feel. “But I just want to treat you right, and make you happy because well, you make me happy. And it’s… it’s been a long time since I’ve felt this way. And I’m sure that for you and me both, these feelings are rare. And I can treat you the same regardless of whether or not we put a label on it, but, selfishly I want you, fully… all to myself. So, let’s make it official. Will you be my girlfriend, YN?”

Few moments felt as good as this one, and you’d remember this moment for years to come. Few questions rung so pleasant to your ears. And when you heard those words leave Steve’s lips, you knew you had never been more certain that you wanted to be with someone. All relationships started out in the honeymoon phase, but when it came to Steve, you didn’t feel like things would change drastically after this phase. And sure, you were just meeting, in real life, that is. In reality, you had known Steve for a few months, and you’d been getting closer for a long time now. So, you probably would’ve said yes to Steve even if he asked you on the second day you were together.

But your respect for Steve rose way up because he’d actually taken his time, had a conversation with you about it, and made up his mind. The fact that he had put all this thought into it was a testament to Steve’s character, which made you giggle because despite his stoic demeanor he was kind of a nervous wreck, and the strength of the connection you had. But you didn’t even have time to think about how wonderful this all was. All you knew was that you wanted to say yes.

“Yes, I’ll be your girlfriend,” you bit down on your lip, just barely restraining a cheeky smile before you leaned in and kissed him again. The kiss was sweet, interrupted by laughter and your smiles against each others’ lips. “Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.”

You kissed him again and again, you kissed him so much that you barely had any lip gloss on when you managed to stop yourself to catch breath. When you pulled away, Steve had this kind of awestruck look on his face, his lips wet with your lip gloss, wanting more of your lips like you hadn’t just given him your all.

You snickered at the sight of his glossy lips, almost arrogantly noting,

“It’s a good look on you. My lip gloss.”

Steve grinned sheepishly, looking down at the table, relieved. He didn’t really have any reason to be worried, that was just in his nature. His heart had never felt so warm, he’d never felt so satisfied. You’d always been his, but now he had you, truly and officially.

“Were you nervous to ask me this?” you asked, still holding his hand from across the table.

Steve breathed out a laugh,

“God, yeah. I was just hoping you wouldn’t feel pressured. I know how important your mental health journey has been for you, I didn’t want to make it feel like we have to put a label on anything before you’re ready—”

“Steve, if I weren’t ready to be your girlfriend, I probably would’ve stayed my ass at home in Cali,” you chortled, making him blush, because he sort of knew he was overthinking it. “But really though, I wouldn’t be upset even if you didn’t ask me. What we have sort of obliterates the whole boyfriend and girlfriend niche, yeah? It’s kinda like… next level, don’t you think? I mean, how many people can say they’re in our situation? Like, this exact situation. This is like, long distance relationships made epic.”

“Good point,” Steve nodded, agreeing— what you had was probably eons more powerful than the typical “boyfriend and girlfriend” situation.

“It’s just, kind of a plus, you know?” you cocked your head to the side, shrugging. A mischievous, contagious smile spread to your lips. “I get to call myself Captain America’s girlfriend. Bitches write fanfiction about that.”

What? How could anyone blame you for getting cocky about who your official boyfriend was? You didn’t care for competition, but you’d selfishly admit that it was an ego booster to know that you had a man like him all to yourself, and that he wanted you all for him.

“You think you’re the lucky one, look at me. I got you,” Steve’s eyes slowly scanned your face, meeting your eyes again with a wistful smile.

“My girlfriend, YN,” he said out loud. He just wanted to try it out, and it sounded so right to the both of you.

“I like that,” you cooed.

“Me too,” Steve kissed your nose. “Oh, I almost forgot.”

He dug out a slip of paper from his pocket and handed it to you, watching you unravel it.

“Just a little something I drew, meant to give it to you as part of this whole ‘making it official’ ordeal,” he put quotes in the air. “A little gift.”

“Steve,” you pouted. “You’re way too nice to me.”

“Well, you’re my girl. I can’t be mean, can I?” Steve’s lip quirked up in a quizzical smile.

“Mm-mm,” you shook your head. “Not unless I tell you to.”

Steve couldn’t even decipher what you meant by that fast enough because you had squealed, your mouth flinging to your hand.

“Steve, Steve, holy shit. Is this what I think it is?” you sat up, alert, facing him.

“Just a little sketch, it’s not the best but I can—”

“Steve, shut up! You’re literally fuckin’ amazing, are you kidding me? This is… amazing.”

What it was was a drawing. Not just of anything, but of a logo he’d created for you. Specifically, what would soon be the logo for your online clothing brand. It had only just kicked off the ground and you were hopeful for its future. So Steve drawing something like this, no matter how average he thought it was or how little time it took him was something so heartfelt to you. This was something you’d hold on to even more than the flowers, even more than the hotel rooms and private jets, even more than the fancy five star restaurant dinners.

Because if there was anything Steve was proving to you time and time again, it was that he was the right one for you. You wanted to be with someone who would encourage your dreams, give you that push, and acknowledge that you had your own life outside of your relationship. And even though it was something minor at the forefront, when you really got down to it it was something so personal.

“Ahh, I haven’t really drawn for real in quite some time, I just wanted you to have that. You can use it, for your clothing brand if you want,” Steve shrugged, all bashful like usual.

“If I want? I’m literally gonna flaunt this everywhere. Hello, my boyfriend made it? No one will know, but I will, and that’s what matters.” You leaned in, kissing his lips and folding the paper again so you could put it in your pocket. “Thank you, baby. For… literally everything. Thank you.”

“Thank you.”

“Steve, take the thanks. You deserve it. Thank you.”

Steve grinned lazily,

“You’re welcome.”

You just gazed at him, your eyes inadvertently glazing over with tears. You were really sitting in front of the man of your dreams, and this time around you had no doubts about it. The old you would’ve been so resistant to love again. Steve made loving again so easy for you. And you couldn’t forget how you’d pushed yourself to love yourself again, because that made things like this a whole lot easier. But, rather than turn this into another mushy moment, your feelings were so overwhelming that you were feeling things everywhere. Everywhere. And who were you to prohibit your primal needs?

You stood up suddenly, brushing your hands against your dress, which once again caught Steve’s attention as you stood up. His eyes were already raking over you by the time you approached him on his side of the table, outstretching a hand to him, saying nothing until he took it and stood up beside you.

“Come on,” was all you uttered, glancing back at him only once as you led him further to the back of the restaurant, casually navigating your way to the restroom, unconcerned with anything in the moment that didn’t have to do with him.

“Where are we—” you swung the restroom door open and dragged him inside, locking it with finesse, “going…”

Without responding, you furiously pressed your lips against Steve’s, pushing up against him and getting him hard in an instant. Your palms smushed into his cheeks and you moaned into his mouth, delirious with the need for him. Steve was shocked, but not at all against it, he had just never seen you act so impulsively before. And the same could be said for him— once you put your soft lips against his, all common sense seemed to dissipate from his mind. He was just as into it, his hands grazing all around your body like he was looking for something and you were the only way he could find it, squeezing every part of you he could squeeze through this dress. He rocked his hips into you, grunting into your lips as he felt his cock throb against the fabric separating the two of you.

He pulled away, panting, his forehead creased in concentration as he cursed under his breath.

“Fuck. Turn around baby,” he spun you around so you were facing the mirror and your body was up against the sink before you even had the chance to move yourself.

You gasped when you felt cool air against your ass before you even expected it, and you moaned instinctively. Steve left love marks on your ass, gentle and kind, before he made his way to your pussy, on his knees and standing behind you leaned your body against the bathroom sink. You were lucky this was a fancy bathroom that neither of you minded getting down and dirty in— the mirrors had golden frames and the counter was sparkling clean, made out of marble just like the floor which Steve was kneeling on. He inched his face closer to your center and licked a fat strip up your pussy, causing you to moan out carelessly.

He focused on tasting you, closing his eyes and truly enjoying the moment. All that could be heard aside from the movement outside of the restroom were your moans and the sound of his tongue fucking deep into your wet pussy, slick, filthy noises coming from your heat.

“You taste so good, baby,” he moaned against your pussy, his words sending a shock through your body, making you squeeze around his tongue.

You were panting now, your moans short and high pitched, glancing back at him every now and then, then back at your fucked out face in the mirror. You arched your back when he hit a certain spot, twirling his tongue around inside you and kneading your ass with his hands.

“Oh,” you cried out, reaching out behind you and grabbing tufts of his hair, pushing his head and face deeper into your pussy and keeping it there with a strong hold. Steve’s moans were muffled, he was overwhelmed by your sweet scent and the way you were forcing his face down. He only pulled away when he felt your pussy start to pulsate around his tongue, leaving you to whine in dissatisfaction while he stood directly behind you, pressing himself against your ass.

“Steve,” you complained, pouting at him.

“I know, I know. I just— I have to fuck you, is that okay, doll? Can I fuck you?” he practically cooed into your ear from behind, lips tickling against the nape of your neck, then sneaking around to press chaste kisses on your cheek.

You bit down on your lip and nodded vigorously, humming in approval,

“Mm hm.”

“Good girl,” he praised you, making you throb around nothing while he pulled his pants down, his dick springing out of his boxers, and steadied himself at your entrance, kissing all against your neck in the process and leaving love bites that made you yelp out. He grinned against you, whispering in your ear as he trailed his hand along the front of your dress, tugging down so your boobs nearly fell out of the dress.

“You look so pretty tonight, baby. Look at you,” Steve nodded at the mirror in front of you and you whined, trying to buck your hips back into him because you just wanted him inside of you. “Fucking hell. Wearing that dress… your makeup looks perfect.”

He cupped your face, admiring it from behind in the mirror for a second, then he continued,

“My girl.”

He finally slid into you, his cock already throbbing inside of you. You cried out and gasped at the feeling of being stretched out just the way you liked, by the only man you wanted.

“Fuck, Steve!” you moaned his name loudly, immediately starting to rock your ass back into his hips, feeling him all the way inside of you, spreading you out each time you took him completely.

You grabbed at his arm from behind you, his hands steadying on your waist and pushing your ass back down onto him so you could take him all the way each time. You panted, feeling like you were being seared open by his thick cock in the best way imaginable. When you looked at yourself in the mirror, you took notice of how fucked out you looked, the force of Steve’s thrusts making your body bump against the sink, your mouth was open in an o-shape, your vision blurred because of how often your eyes kept rolling back into your head. Steve was focused on his cock disappearing in and out of you, his eyes on your ass, bringing down a broad hand to your ass and grasping your flesh in his hands.

“Steve,” you gasped, looking back at him. You took some time to catch your breath, Steve glancing up at you momentarily. “R-remember when I said you can’t be mean unless I tell you to?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, his hand coming up to stroke the small of your back, just wanting to feel your smooth skin.

“Be mean to me, baby,” you pleaded, giving him those eyes that set him off every time.

That was all it took for Steve to start slamming into you shamelessly, wrecking your pussy each time he pounded into you. He grasped onto your arms suddenly, holding them behind your back with one hand while the other lay to rest just above your ass. You cried out at the painful, pleasing sensation of Steve absolutely pounding you, and he chuckled deviously,

“Shh, doll. Wouldn’t want anyone to hear you screaming for me. Or would you?”

Pursing your lips forcefully to keep from making any noise, you shook your head strongly, but you couldn’t help the whimper that escaped from the back of your throat when he hit your g-spot. Steve shook his head, looking up at himself in the mirror,

“Mm-mm, wouldn’t want that.”

Trying desperately to keep quiet, you strained your neck to try and look back at him and what he was doing. But he shook his head, leaning down to grab your face and force your head the other way.

“Don’t look at me,” he commanded, his voice dark and deep. “Look at yourself.”

You looked up, orgasmic tears forming in your eyes as you did so, catching sight of yourself in the mirror getting fucked to the heavens, arms stretched behind your back, breasts bouncing each time Steve fucked into you. The look on Steve’s face was beyond you— he was almost sneering at the sight of the two of you in the mirror, the smug look on his face intensifying each time you had to stifle a moan or stop yourself from screaming his name. You’d never seen him like this before, and you were so glad you’d pulled it out of him in the little amount of time you had left together.

“Fuck,” Steve groaned when you felt you squeeze around him, his voice becoming breathier and lower, almost accusatory of your pleasure, “you like this, don’t you?”

You whimpered in response, nodding your head violently, and Steve grunted, slamming his hips up into you and bringing a hand down to play with your clit as if praising your response. His own voice became more and more unhinged, his thrusts growing sloppier and less focused, his eyes zeroing in on your expression in the mirror,

“You love getting fucked like this, don’t you? Wh-where anyone could hear… f-fuck, doll, I can feel you squeezing my fu… fucking cock. Come for me, YN.”

That was all it took, an ear splitting moan falling from your lips as you practically convulsed, coming on Steve’s cock, not bothering to stop rocking your hips back. Soon after you came, Steve’s dirty talk became nothing more than unintelligible blabbering, and he came hard inside of you. Breathing deeply, he slid lazily in and out of you just a few more times, fucking all his cum back into you. He pulled out, and you fell against the sink with a sigh. You both cleaned up, and Steve smiled at you before you both left the restroom.

“Thank you,” you said stupidly, still delirious from how hard he’d fucked you.

Steve chuckled, shaking his head playfully and putting an arm around you to stabilize you,

“No problem. Come on, let’s pay and get you home.”

That night, you slept better than ever, your boyfriend Steve holding you in his arms.

| | |

Once you woke up the next day, Steve decided to take you to this nice brunch place, flipping on his hat and glasses since it was a little crowded, but not anything too worrisome. Besides, you had made it this far without Steve being recognized, and you realized that in New York, nobody was really paying attention to anyone.

Last night had been fantastic, in so many ways. You and Steve had made it far enough to actually become official, to call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. And although you knew the distance between you would be hard to deal with at times, you knew Steve would find a way to make it work. He never had you second guessing or doubting important decisions, because you knew that out of anyone you’d ever been romantically involved with, he had his shit together the most. He was actually focused on treating you well, and he had all the resources and the common sense to do just that. So, the distance didn’t quite scare you, in fact, it was probably less of an issue for you two than other long distance couples. Hell, you’d made it far enough without actually meeting.

As per usual, Steve opened your car door, then held your hand all the way inside the restaurant. You’d eat and then go home and find some random hobby to do with each other, like board games or finally finishing the Harry Potter movies, or just staying in and cuddling the whole night. You got seated at a table in the back and talked about nothing in particular while you waited for the waiter to come around.

You had your hand on top of Steve’s, squeezing it absentmindedly while you scrolled through your phone, reading text messages from your friends back at home. You knew Steve wasn’t a huge fan of your phone, but it wasn’t a habit that you pulled it out while you were meant to be hanging out together. Besides, you had a whole digital life that you had to keep up with for your own sake, consisting of your cam career and your online shop. It’d be silly if you tried to disconnect completely.

“Hi, good to see you today, my name is Richard, I’ll be serving you today! Can I get you guys started with some drinks?” Richard asked, cupping his hands together with an expectant smile.

“Waters for the both of us,” Steve nodded, and you added on, glancing at the waiter quickly.

“Lemonade for me too, please,” you added on.

“Awesome, I’ll be right…” Richard the waiter trailed off and you both glanced up at him, but he had paused, staring at Steve, his face contorted in slight confusion. Steve offered him a small, almost pitying smile, and you couldn’t help but huff, humored. Richard cocked his head and tapped his pen against his notepad before shaking his head slightly, snapping out of it. “Sorry, it’s just… you look so familiar.”

You and Steve exchanged a glance, both of your eyes whipping to meet each other, before you broke away and looked back at Richard. You were both slightly unnerved by the comment. In a way, it was so nonchalant, a casual remark. But Steve wasn’t just any other guy who you’d say that to. Chances were, this guy was about to recognize just who Steve was. You almost wanted to cover for him, but you feared that doing that would make things too obvious. You’d let Steve handle this, although you could see the hint of nerves in the smile that appeared on his face as he shrugged quite convincingly,

“I couldn’t tell you why, honestly.”

Richard chuckled, huffing,

“It’s just, I swear I’ve seen you before, are you like— have you come here before?”

Steve just laughed, but you could sense his discomfort, and you squeezed his hand a little harder,

“Sometimes. You might’ve seen me.”

Richard nodded with a decided hum, then shrugged,

“Yeah, that’s probably it.”

Steve’s shoulders visibly slumped in relief, and you smiled quietly.

“Well, I’ll be right back with those drinks,” Richard, turning around.

Once he was completely out of sight, Steve sighed heavily, leaning in to you at the table.

“I think we should go,” was all he said, and you frowned slightly,

“We just got here…”

“I know, but that guy… listen, we haven’t paid for anything. Let’s just go. I’ll make it up to you, I promise. I just don’t think—”

“Okay,” you cut him off, smiling calmly.

Things were going so well, you didn’t want Steve to feel like you wouldn’t listen to him when it was important. You also didn’t want him to worry too much. You could see that he was trying to refrain from sounding as nervous as he was because he didn’t want to upset you, so, out of respect, you decided you wouldn’t push him any further. This was the first time either of you had to worry that someone had noticed Steve, and although it could truly just be a fluke totally unrelated to his actual identity, neither of you wanted to take that risk. So, you just agreed with him.

Steve got up gingerly, and nodded at you to do the same.

“Come on,” Steve said, lacing his fingers between yours, a sense of relief rushing through you.

For a moment there, you feared that his anxiety might get the best of him and that he wouldn’t pay any attention to you, but he had proved you wrong. He gave your hand a squeeze as the two of you ducked out of the restaurant as nonchalantly as you could. When you were finally outside on the sidewalk, you both walked back to Steve’s car, not looking back.

The car ride home was silent other than the music Steve put on to distract himself from his thoughts. He truly was trying to remain stable rather than let his nerves get the best of him. He hadn’t quite let his guard down, but he also didn’t feel as if he’d be recognized. He was getting too comfortable— no, he was just doing what was right, taking you out and taking care of you. He wouldn’t let himself sink into blaming himself or anyone else.

You were both far past that, far from fear and holding yourselves back from what you truly wanted, which was to be together and feel like you could do that without inhibitions. You both understood the conditions under which you’d be meeting in person, and you understood that Steve needed to keep this under wraps for the sake of privacy and safety. You had grown enough not to let these conditions hinder you, you wouldn’t start now just because of a little hiccup.

“Steve,” came your voice, distracting him from the loop of thoughts replaying in his brain as you both walked into the apartment.

“Hm?” he turned to face you, and you grabbed his hand gently, a small, reassuring smile on your lips.

You led him to the living room couch and you both sat down, facing each other.

“Let’s talk about it, okay? You’ll feel better if you just talk to me about it instead of letting it bother you in silence,” you directed, and he took in a deep breath before sitting back and nodding understandingly.

You wanted to at least solve the problem before it spiraled into a bigger one, and if it meant you had to sit on the couch and talk about it, then so be it. You’d rather a hard discussion than any issues.

“It’s not that I’m paranoid, it’s just… I don’t want anything to be ruined because of me. You know, I’ve been enforcing all these rules and… I just care about our privacy and safety the most.”

“You do know that I’d never blame you for anything, right? You do know that?” you asked him, tilting your head as you waited for him to make eye contact with you and answer you honestly.

He did eventually, nodding and cracking a small grin,

“I know. I… I don’t want it to seem like one small thing would ruin my mood, I don’t want you to think I’m as scared as I used to be.”

“I don’t think you are though, Stevie,” you said softly as you stroked his cheek, your long acrylic nails gently running along his skin.

He seemed to calm down immediately from your touch, his facial expression softening, but you could tell he was still upset with himself. You grinned to yourself. You liked being able to make Steve feel better with just a trivial touch. You knew your presence actually meant something to him, and that sentiment meant everything to you. You knew he just wanted to keep you safe, especially considering the circumstances of your relationship, but you didn’t want him getting too worked up. You could handle yourself and Steve knew that, but having him next to you in situations like this was just a plus— after all, there was a reason why the guy only approached you once he’d seen Steve had left.

“It’s okay, Steve. Really. I get it, it’s unexpected and worrisome. Neither of us really were prepared for that. I think you handled it amazingly. Don’t think this diminishes all the progress we made, alright?” you let your hand slip down to his, and gave it a squeeze. “Because it doesn’t. Okay?”

“Okay,” Steve chuckled, and you could tell by the smile in his laugh that he was resigning.

He was truly enjoying spending time with you like a normal couple would. He wasn’t peeking over his shoulder, he was just being careful. But he knew the risks he was taking. And he knew he’d just have to roll with the punches, that he couldn’t let one moment change everything for the worse. You were practically reading Steve’s mind, because based on his reaction, you knew exactly how he felt, and you already had all the words you’d need to console him.

You held his hand tight, as if to remind him that he needn’t be so hard on himself or be afraid that you doubted him in any way. As if to remind him you weren’t going anywhere. He couldn’t deny that your touch made a considerable impact on his mood, as well as your presence. Just your presence seemed to radiate whatever he needed in the moment, and at that moment, it was calm.

“Don’t feel worried that you made the wrong decision by bringing us here today. I had the best time. This small inconvenience doesn’t fuck up the fact that I just had an amazing day with you, okay?”

Steve nodded slowly, though you could tell it took a lot for him to take the blame off himself. You weren’t sure that he was fully convinced, but at least he seemed a little less out of it.

“I’m glad you understand, YN. But I have to take responsibility. I’m not going to become all paranoid again, but I just think it’d be best to lay low for a minute and recover. I really do want to show you everything, I just-”

“Steve, calm down,” you tittered, shaking your head. “I don’t need to see everything. I came here to see you, not tour New York. As long as I’m with you, I don’t care. We could go out every day or we could stay in. I know you’d make the effort either way. Besides, we only have so much time left together, and I feel like you’ve shown me the entire world.”

It was true— Steve had proven to you that he cared time and time again, whether it was through flying you out or taking you out without you having to ask. It was the little things. The way he poured just the right amount of sugar in your coffee in the morning, helped you zip up your dresses in the morning, let you blast your music in the car. He seemed to think he needed to prove himself, and you wanted to show him that he had already done that, and more.

Steve chuckled, and you squeezed his thigh, kissing his cheek. He turned to face you, leaning in to kiss you on the lips this time. You shifted closer to him, leaning in until you were close enough to rest your palms on his cheek, climbing into his lap and deepening the kiss. Slow, passionate, and quiet, you sat there kissing each other. You kissed each other like you were trying to savor the taste of one another’s lips, like you were trying to remember it for the rest of your lives. You kissed like you were sharing secrets.

It was only a matter of time before you were taking off your shirt and kissing him harder, grinding against him and riding him slow on the couch in the bright daylight. You were gentle and slow, it was more like you were making love than just fucking. And by the time you were done, passed out and sweaty on the couch hours later, all your worries had been fucked away.

| | |

Tomorrow was your last day with Steve. You’d be flying back home to California the next day, and saying goodbye. But not just yet. You had all the time in the world to say goodbye, but today you were both devoted to spending a beautiful, eventful day together. Steve had stuff planned for you, and you had stuff planned for Steve. You had mutually agreed to skip all the crying and pouting, and just be happy for the experience instead. So when you woke up that morning next to Steve, who was still asleep, you were giddy to start the day.

Absentmindedly, you picked up your phone on the end table beside you. It was positively buzzing with notifications, and you were a bit thrown off by the sheer amount of them. You furrowed your eyebrows as you skimmed through the notifications from the bottom to the top— you had a bunch of missed calls from your parents, more Snapchat notifications on your regular snap than ever, and a plethora of texts.

You wondered if something had happened, chewing slightly on your bottom lip. Was everything okay at home? Did you post something meant for your cam site on your Instagram? A hundred various circumstances fled through your mind, but none of the situations you had made up could’ve prepared you for when you opened a text from Aaliyah with a picture attached. It read:

- Attachment: 1 image

- BITCH, THIS IS LITERALLY YOU!!!

#girls on film #steve rogers #steve rogers fic #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers smut #smut #marvel #marvel smut #marvel fic #marvel imagine #x reader #reader insert #captain america #captain america x reader #captain america smut #captain america fic #captain america imagine

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not-from-the-absence-of-violence · 4 years ago

Text

You'd break your heart to make it bigger, so why not crack your skull when the mind swells

“Something's not right about what I'm doing but I'm still doing it-- living in the worst parts, ruining myself. My inner life is a sheet of black glass.” ~Richard Siken

Moments in Leenik Geelo's life after losing his brother.

a/n: love that my first campaign star wars fic is just pure leenik geelo angst, i dedicate this one to @leenik-matagot thank u and also ur welcome <3 >:)

content warnings for: canon typical character death and violence, suicidal thoughts, refrences to self harm, ptsd, trauma and just general grief and depression.

It’s the emptiness he doesn’t expect. When they were running out of the planet the numb shock passing into the unrelenting reality of the loss he had just suffered.

There is that night where neither him or Chartreuse say anything and it felt like his chest was going to collapse into itself. It wasn’t real, not quite yet but the grief that threatens to consume him whole had already set in. it was like a gaping open wound in his chest. Like shards of glass. Like he was dying, following Tony into an early grave.

Those days blur together but he remembers eventually when the pain wouldn’t stop, he remembers cristal clear the quiet desperate prayer he sent out to the stars he and his brother had once travelled together.

Make it stop. He begged. I will do anything to stop feeling like this someone, anyone, please make it stop, make it stop, make it-

Be careful what you wish for, they say, because eventually it did, and it left the broken being that had once been Nicky Geelo.

There was nothing, he hadn’t thought it possible before to feel nothing but it was there. He was but an empty black hole. What was he now, without his grief and pain.

Nothing matters then, when the world stops being something you experience, he stared blankly at the wall. A million thoughts hung around his head.

It was your fault. It should have been you. You have always been this useless. What are you now? What have you ever been?-

They droned on, it was like listening to static, they were there, they were his thoughts and he believed them, but there was no emotion tied to it. He wants it back, the overwhelming despair, the anger burning in his veins, the quiet background sorrow that settles into your bones.

The first time Leenik Geelo gets captured on purpose he doesn’t plan on coming out of it.

He had picked up doing jobs again because he had to, life didn’t stop even if it felt like it should, the loss of Venton was nothing on the greater galaxy, even if to Leenik it felt like the stars weren’t allowed to shine without him.

It isn’t quite like he consciously plans on getting shot, it’s just that he goes in with a half-baked plan, no plan B, no weapons and not really sure when the last time he ate was.

And sure maybe when they are marching him to the brig, blasters trained on him part of him wonders why it would be bad if they just fired.

It’s not quite wanting to die, as much as it is not seeing the point in living. As much as that the moment they truly are about to shoot him his fear finally kicks in and he feels awake for the first time in months.

How he gets out of that one he doesn’t know, it's like all the luck in the galaxy follows him when he doesn’t want it.

He stands there and picks at his suction cups absentmindedly until one starts to bleed, he stares at the blood dripping from his finger like it contains the answers to everything.

He isn’t prepared for the wrath that comes next, the vast nothing in his chest comes and goes but the only other thing he is made of these days seems anger.

It is directed at everything and nothing, his brother's killer, Traxx, the ceiling fan that is too loud, himself.He who couldn't help, he had insisted to take on a job they shouldn't have, he should have been the one to fall in Ventons place.

The first time he stuns himself he can almost convince himself it's an accident. He is in fact, shooting at the fan, but who is to say whether he knew that the laser would bounce of it and hit him in the chest.

There is a flash of blinding agony and then a final blissful nothing. He wakes up very soon after, with a pounding headache, dizzy and miserable.

He knows very well he should not do that again, he stares at his blaster and feels some sickening kind of fear of himself. He tries to avoid using a blaster for a while but it doesn't last long.

It's always an accident though, and usually when it happens people laugh at the guy who just got himself stunned.

That's good he thinks making people laugh.

Leenik Geelo doesn't know the name of the first truly innocent person that he kills.

Usually there is some sort of justification for it, in his mind at least.

At some point he is at a shoot out and he very well knows he could aim away from the civilians that have nothing to do with it.

He doesn't.

There he is met with sickening guilt, and an even worse sense of perverted glee.

He sees the disappointed face of his brother every time he closes his eyes.

The moment he is alone that afternoon he breaks down crying, falling to the floor of some ship.

What have you become Nicky?

He doesn't know. He doesn't know.

It's Venton who should have lived, and so he starts dressing the part. it's easy to pass off the wig and the eye patch as simple eccentricities, people find it odd, people laugh.

Good. He thinks, it's almost better to not be taken seriously, no one seeing under the surface.

So easy some days to almost believe it's Tony who is staring back at him in the mirror. That he’s here with him at least. He doesn't know how to be himself anymore.

One day he simply forgets the eyepatch, he catches a glimpse in the mirror and panics. True awful panic, the one that causes you to stop breathing, your chest to hurt, your mind to start racing.

"I need to go get it," he chokes out.

"Jeez man, we have a job to do."

He is already running back already, his hands in fists shaking as he tries not to break into sobs in the middle of the busy street.

It is odd in many ways how much Venton had been to him. His brother, his work partner, his only connection to his home he had left behind.

Leenik isn’t good at planning, he isn’t very strong or agile or-

Together they were invincible and alone he’s just...him.

He isn’t sure whether he misses Rodea or his brother sometimes, tangled up together in a web of nostalgia.

There is so little that is left from the person he used to be now.

What exactly makes memories flood him like rivers is truly awful arbitrary, he hates it.

And like anything he hates inside himself, he fights it like a caged animal. He is holding onto the shards of himself so tightly, cutting his fingers with it, he is walking on his own broken glass.

It’s a perfectly unremarkable day on the Mynock, he struggles to open a container.

"You should work out more, Leenik."

He stares at a fixed point on the wall, he feels it, the helplessness, his brothers hand in his, he feels the way he can't pull them up because he isn't strong enough, good enough, such a failure-

"Leenik? You okay there buddy?"

Leenik snaps out of it, clearly looking at his surroundings.

"I am just self conscious about my strength alright," he says as he bats away Bacta's hand " Don't bring it up again."

Bacta looks vaguely worried but drops it, used to his odd outburst by now. Leenik goes to look outside at the stars that were supposed to be theirs.

Sleep and Leenik are at war. Every night is a battle.

The weeks, months even after he couldn't sleep. He couldn't without waking up to nightmares of every kind and every night he saw his brother die because of him in seemingly increasingly gruesome ways.

Not sleeping made being awake worse, made the colours sharper and the noise louder, made his already weak grasp on reality weaker. He heard Venton everywhere, knowing it wasn't him, his own head driving him mad.

The only sleep he knew was collapsing from exhaustion.

Eventually time passed and no matter how much Leenik picked at it the wound healed somewhat and sometimes he slept.

Nightmares were still common enough for him to be anxious every time bed time approached. So he read, indulged in the calming familiar anxiety repetitive formulaic fiction brought.

Sometimes he had good dreams about Venton, of beautiful summers in Rodea, about the best bounties they had brought in, soft quiet scenes of love they deserved to have.

He woke up feeling the emptiness worse those days, not being able to even look at himself in the mirror.

There is something so comfortable in not being him. Leenik picks up a million hobbies and drops them just as soon but dressing up he might just keep.

He’s good at it, it’s fun, most importantly for the rest of the crew, it's useful.

And if it also means that he gets to look into the mirror without having to bear his own face looking back at him, even better.

He falls into the same patterns over and over and over again. He can’t stop, like a derailed train, and it’s always him left to pick up the pieces of his mess.

Like pushing boulders uphill it soon starts to feel tedious, pointless, if you have to do it again every time.

He doesn’t know who he is without anymore, doesn’t know how to be whole, he doesn’t want to know.

It feels like he is a spectator in his own life as he sees himself grimly fall back into ruining his life in both small and big ways.

It’s too hard to mend it, he doesn’t know how to sow.

He had never thought of having children really, every day he didn't quite believe he was going to survive the week, much less enough to form a family.

The vornskr gets attached to him so quickly, it needs him, like Leenik once needed his brother.

So he names him Tony, the name feels like rubbing salt in the wound, something that is almost like comfort for him now.

I'll protect you he thinks, even if I couldn't protect him.

He stares at the place where his arm used to be.

He can see it so vividly in front of him, Tony's arm a bloody mess dangling making it unable for him to pull himself up. He sees his own hand, the one he doesn't have anymore, not strong enough to pull him up either.

He stares at his arm and sits on the floor crying. The noise of the battle fading away to the background

Maybe I deserve this one.

Leenik Geelo has a family now, crammed into a small spaceship, full of unspoken issues and painful tension.

He holds on to it lightly, or pretends to.

The only way Leenik knows how to hold on is so tight it's suffocating, so loud it hurts, so pleading it is pathetic. He overcompensates in the other direction constantly, to the point where neither he nor the people he now loves know whether he cares about them or not.

He looks onto Tamlin who lost his mother, so small, so fragile. Now his responsibility too. Maybe he doesn't know quite yet what's to come for him, all the small ways loss cracks you. He is afraid of Tamlin in the same way he is afraid of his own true reflection. And as afraid as anyone is of his own children.

"What's the name of the kid again?" he asks and he can almost convince himself he doesn't know.

So many masks to Leenik Geelo, his name has lost meaning.

Everyone has a breaking point and eventually Leenik reaches his. As he falls to the floor crying, there are people there this time. To listen, to hug him, to comfort him. To share in his pain and not flinch as they see the worst parts of him. To hold his hand and pull him up as he starts the arduous climb from rock bottom.

He isn’t alone amongst the vast expanse of space anymore.

Time passes and loss never truly gets easier, but eventually one has to heal. Eventually he grows up and knows his brother wouldn't want this for him. More importantly he doesn't want this, not anymore.

Rebuilding yourself is a never ending process that often leads to hallways you had forgotten about, it's painful and thankless and while in it it never feels worth it. But it is, oh it is, when he is able to talk about Tony again and it doesn't feel like his throat is full of glass. When people can call him Nicky and it brings only the slightest twinge of melancholy, like pressure on a sore bruise. When he can go to Rodea again, a planet he had once thought he would never be able to bear to return.

Sometimes he still gets cut on his own shards, but this time he lets someone help mend it.

He can lay amongst the trees and for the first time lay his brother to rest in his mind.

"Goodbye Tony," he says, looking onto the millions of planets and galaxies above him, in wonder of how small he is compared to it all.

"I miss you." he says because it's true, he will never stop missing who had once felt like an infinite constant in his life.

"I hope you are well amongst the stars."

#campaign star wars #campaign podcast #leenik geelo #venton geelo #my writing #fic

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yibuo · 5 years ago

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Hey, I love your blog ❤️. Can I ask for Uniq full story? I've seen a bits of it online but it's such a mess I can't figure out what's truth. Have a nice day 😁

FUNNY how i received this ask when i was crying about wenhan’s baby angel voice in best friend just earlier

tldr if i ever meet du hua it’s on SIGHT

LOL okay idk if this is the FULL story i probably won’t include details and stuff because i didn’t closely follow uniq during their whole hiatus thing (i had the brainpower to stan one group at a time but now look at me TWO kpop groups AND i’m starting to follow a cpop group AND pd camp 2020 AND am constantly fuming at yibo and xiao zhan’s management agencies for ruining their idol groups )

pls correct me if i’m wrong im small brain ok i’m putting this in keep reading bc it’s too long and a ramble

tldr thanks yuehua for messing w/ 5 guys’ dreams.. even though they’re successful they’re not able to do what they originally wanted to

also there’s this legendary video dragging yuehua

also thank u for ur love sweetie i love u too xoxo i hope ur having a wonderful day/evening/night!

LOOL anyway so uniq is a korean-chinese boy group formed under yuehua ent which has korean and chinese management ... you probably know other kpop artists from yuehua like wjsn (co-managed by starship) or everglow... if you’re into cpop there’s next/next7...anyway they have 3 chinese members(yixuan, wenhan, and yibo) and 2 korean members (sungjoo and seungyoun) and they debuted in 2014 with falling in love, promoted btwn china and korea, released a couple of osts (for like, teenage mutant ninja turtles and madagascar lol lol lol) and then in 2015 they came back w/ eoeo (if you’re into kpop you probably know eoeo at least) it’s their most well-known song, and this comeback was w/ their first (and only lol lol) ep/mini album.

they started garnering a good amount of attention and started to appear on more variety shows in korea and china, started promoting in japan, they even went to brazil in a fanmeet that’s pretty cool lol , (but...why didn’t they solidify uniq’s position in kr/ch with their momentum instead of sending them to different countries??? we love money-minded yeehaw entertainment)

and then china’s hallyu ban happened (which is something that i never really understood and never took the time to fully research because it hurt my brain) but essentially chinese govt restricted k-entertainment from profitting in china because politics, for example a lot of kpop tours and fanmeets got cancelled. and this put uniq in a difficult position because they’re split between being based in china and korea, but eventually the ban got lessened (there’s still tension but like, there’s literally adore u playing in the camp of pd camp 2020 ep 2 so like lol) but yeehaw made NO efforts to maintain the group musically b/c they’re money-minded cows and if they split uniq up into a kr and a chinese unit they can’t make as much money as if they sent the members into acting.... (literally there’s an interview from a couple yrs back where xuan talks about how itd be nice to make music but it doesn’t make as much as acting does in china :-(( ) so while they still had events in japan, they didn’t do much together in their main bases, and acted a lot cool cool

one thing i never understood is why yuehua never just pushed them more in the kr market...there are so many groups in the k-industry w/ chinese members (i literally STAN one, my ULT is a chinese member in a kpop group what the HECK)...but making money right lol anyway so xuan, wenhan, and yibo went into acting in china (and yibo is an mc on day day up), and acting takes up sm time, (gonna quote my chinese friend here who’s a sad wjsn ot13 stan who misses cheng xiao, mmq, and wxy, once ur popular in china it’s goodbye kpop) and sungjoo went into acting in korea (if you’ve ever watched my secret terrius or the disaster that was liar and his lover w/ joy, sungjoo is in those lol) and seungyoun continued to produce and release music as woodz and luizy

but it’s sad because they all trained for so long to perform on the stage as 5 but yuehua’s shitty management in the hallyu ban crisis thing really screwed them over...in terms of being on the stage like come on! THEY HAVE TALENT.. ok in early 2018 they released an ep and in dec 2018 they released their single monster (last single together lol), but again, no group promotion, no being able to perform on the stage, no nothing (oh yeah also yibo was a dance mentor on produce 101 china in 2018 nice)

2019 was a good year for most of the members:

-wenhan went on qcyn (youth with you season 1, the second show in the idol producer franchise) and got 1st, debuting in unine which he’s currently a part of, and got to perform on the stage after years of not being able to, thanks yuehua

-yixuan went on all for one (another survival program from youku), also got 1st, and debuted in new storm

-yibo (as we all know) acted in the untamed and became ultra-popular for his well-roundedness

-seungyoun went on the 4th season/spinoff of produce 101 in kr called produce x 101 and got 5th place, debuting in x1, which later disbanded, THANKS MNET THAT’S ANOTHER STORY BUT anyway i don’t think seungyoun was rigged into place, does yuehua even care that much?? lmOA he was so loveable on px101 and i think the move perf rly sealed the deal for everyone

-sungjoo...was done dirty by yeehaw...he’s a MAIN VOCAL he has SOLo potential but yeehaw just put him in the dungeon thanks.. and he recently enlisted in the army not too long ago

oh also sungjoo, xuan, and yibo performed monster + eoeo together at yuehua’s 10 anniversary concert...seungyoun wasn’t there because of x1 and wenhan performed with unine

wow yeehaw really thought they deserved a 10th anniversaryy celebration LMFAO

***the members are still part of uniq though, survival shows are weird

anyway as we can see each member is talented in their own way and uniq is an unfortunate case of yuehua not knowing how to manage people lol but if you watch their shows you know that they’re genuine and tight-knit, and even though they might not be together rn, in their hearts they’re still a part of uniq (cue pics of their weibo usernames having uniq in them, cue wenhan spamming his dad’s video with “UNIQ IS STILL TOGETHER” when his dad talks about how uniq disbanded) and they haven’t forgotten their identity of being part of uniq even as they get older. their contracts expire in 2022 and w/ kim sungjoo in the army, who knows if they actually will make a comeback but this is why everyone hates yuehua and everyone misses uniq bye

again i know they’re successful individually, i know seungyoun’s able to produce his own music, yibo’s able to turn his hobbies into work, wenhan and yixuan are still able to perform on a stage, they came here for uniq and got separated w/o them ever wanting to

#reply #next thing u know someone is gonna ask me about xiao zhan and xnine and wjjw and i will continue my heatedness #Anonymous

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pandemicthestory · 5 years ago

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5: distanced

The next step is to find an in, and then an out.

The morning news briefing on TV:

Kelly Sanchez, lead anchorwoman, stares gravely into the camera. It will be another day of news that no one wants to hear.

“Good morning, Chicago. We’re here with your daily update of the coronavirus. Schools across the country have been canceled due to a significant shortage of public funding. These are funds that are currently being allocated to bail out the tanking airline industry. The President says that allowing the top corporations to suffer will result in a greater hole for the economy. We hope he’s right.

Meanwhile, bars, restaurants and shopping centers that have been re-opened early to boost the economy have not seen the dramatic rise in business that was expected. Perhaps people are too afraid to go out to dinner amongst the public, or perhaps they simply can’t afford it due to a loss of work. One thing we do know is that the most detrimental effect of these early openings is causing a further spread. As people in certain states that have not seriously social-distanced begin to cross state lines…”

Emma’s mom and dad are sitting on the couch, waiting for Kelly to tell them that things are going to get at least slightly better. But she doesn’t. It’s getting impossible to convince themselves that this will all be over soon--that everything will return to normal. It’s becoming likely that the new “normal,” if it ever comes, will be something that no one has ever seen.

*buzzzz*

Emma’s alarm wakes her up at 8:30 AM. She facepalms herself upon remembering that school doesn’t exist anymore and therefore alarms are canceled. Dammit.

But then, she remembers that Universe is currently downloading to her external hard drive. The excitement of this sends a shock through her system and wakes up every cell in her body. It’s that “Christmas morning” excitement, which is marginally more enjoyable than that “about to run away with a possibly bad dude” excitement. That kind is good too, just, different. She runs over to her computer.

16 HOURS REMAINING

Shit. The size of this application is no joke. Seemingly she’ll have to wait until tonight to begin her exploration. To find Mason.

Emma remembers the talk they had last night, and reflects on his support of her relationships with her friends. She realizes that she didn’t know many people with that quality, guys especially...it seems like they always demand her full attention and become frustrated if asked to share. Especially one guy. Well anyway, Mason. Intriguing.

Emma heads downstairs to make herself a bowl of cereal. Oh wait, there’s no milk. And no cereal either? These days, groceries are scarce and pickings are slim. Ah well, might have to be plain oatmeal. Serious orphanage vibes--which is somewhat fitting since her parents wish they could leave her at one.

Ugh. Every time you eat oatmeal, you forget how horrible oatmeal is. Isabel sits across the table from her, scrolling through her phone with intent and drinking black coffee. Emma smirks.

“Aren’t you kinda young to be drinking coffee? Plus what do you have to energize for, your job at the office?”

Isabel pays no attention to her.

“Hello? Okay what is up with you.”

Isabel looks up from her phone, a faraway look in her eyes.

“Do you have a headset?” she asks.

“Um, what do you mean? Like headphones? What are you talking about?”

Isabel looks down again.

“No, like a viewing headset. Like an Oculus or a Vive. Aren’t you like, a tech nerd? You don’t do anything with VR?”

Odd request. Emma isn’t much of a gamer anymore, she used to play Dota and Warcraft, but that was before she decided to cut back to become more social. Spend time with her friends. Date an asshole. Whatever. But in all her experience with gaming, she had never gotten into VR. She never saw the point...either play games or experience the real world. What was the point in trying to achieve both at the same time?

“No I don’t. And you know those are expensive as hell, right?”

Isabel looks nervous.

“I know. Which is why...um, I was wondering, can I borrow some money?”

Emma bursts out laughing.

“No Iz, you can’t borrow 800 dollars to buy a VR headset. Hey are you aware that we’re going through a global pandemic and the world may or may not be ending? I think food and toilet paper are better investments than virtual tennis, or whatever.”

Isabel just shakes her head. What is with this girl? She’s normally the queen of smartassery--loves to spar with Emma and argue about literally everything. She’s usually so ready for a fight, but now she feels surrendered. It’s weird how you can be trapped in such close quarters with a person and still feel like they’re on a different planet.

Emma and Isabel are two years apart. Up until Emma was 6 and Isabel was 4, they were best friends. They shared everything. Isabel didn’t want to play with a toy unless Emma played with it with her. She wouldn’t wear clothing unless it was Emma’s hand-me-down. They shared a bedroom, the walls covered with monarch butterflies. Their mom went for a theme, tacky lamp shades and all, lord knows she tried her best. Often, they would stay awake late into the night, vividly describing the dream that the other sister would have. They thought if they focused hard enough, they could carry those dreams with them into sleep.

But as they got older, things changed. The tacky butterflies were no longer endearing. Emma moved into a room that was being used as her dad’s office. She got a Nintendo DS for Christmas. And she started locking her door.

Isabel was left to wonder where her role model went. But after Emma made it clear that her hobbies were no longer to be shared, Isabel hardened herself to the rejection. She promised herself to become her own person in any way that she could, to never be dependent on Emma to define her personality.

In fifth grade, Isabel met Anush. They met because they were both teacher helpers in art class, and it was their responsibility to help set up the room before class and clean it up afterwards. They were both very outgoing, emotional, and honest. Isabel always told Anush exactly what she was thinking, and vice versa. The two girls were popular among their classmates, but the good kind of popular. They were kind, and they included the other girls who wanted to be like them.

So really, it makes no sense that Isabel is being the way that she is. She’s confident, vocal, and annoyingly optimistic. On a normal day. So what’s wrong?

“Emma, someone just dropped a package off for you.”

Their mom called from the other room. Isabel leaves the table, stressed and defeated. Emma continues to chip away at the bowl of grey sludge in front of her. It’s crazy that there are still people out there delivering the mail--how long until that stops too?

*buzz*

Good morning, group chat.

OLIVIA: GG morning check-in: I want to talk about what the hell Serena sees in Dan

MADISON: or what dan sees in serena?? Come on he’s like an intellectual and she’s a superficial barbie princess

ZOE: Mad you know that is MISOGYNISTIC and that you’re letting the fact that she wears expensive dresses and has blonde hair cloud your judgement!!

MADISON: oh shut up it’s early

OLIVIA: Remember when you were begging not to watch the show??

MADISON: quarantine does weird shit to people ok

Emma enters the chat.

EMMA: Ok but without Serena, don’t you think Blair is so much more lame? Like it’s the best friend combo that makes the show imo

ZOE: There she is!!!

MADISON: goooood morning to our very own barbie princess!

OLIVIA: Why are any of us even awake? SCHOOL’S OVERRR. Should we like, do something?

EMMA: Like what? Sit on our asses and text each other from afar?

MADISON: sounds chill

Emma laughs to herself. Damn. She’s going to miss them.

Maybe there’s a way for her to tell...part of the truth? Leave the part about Julian out? Kind of a big part... Say she’s coming back? Make up a concrete opportunity? There has to be some sort of acceptable explanation...there just has to be. And even if she can’t come up with one...there are other things she wants to tell them about. Another boy.

EMMA: Hey do you guys wanna do a zoom chat in a few min? Just kinda feel like talking more than texting rn

MADISON: do u mind if i go back to bed and pass on that? I love u girl but i’m tired af

ZOE: aaand same here, but it’s only because i’m supposed to do this thing…

OLIVIA: so call Gabriel?

ZOE: Wellllll...I don’t wanna lie to y’all.

Ha. Emma knows the feeling.

EMMA: you out too Liv?

OLIVIA: I am innnnn give me a call when you’re ready

MADISON: kiss kiss kiss

ZOE: kiiiiissssss

EMMA: bye losers

Well, maybe telling one person is a good place to start. Liv is super understanding...she’ll be able to think of a good way to break the news to Mad and Zoe. Emma runs up to her room and closes the door. She flops down on her unmade bed, and facetimes Olivia.

“Hey Liv”

“Emmmm”

Lingering silence. Emma just kind of stares at the wall. Olivia breaks the silence.

“Sooo what did you wanna talk about?”

Emma doesn’t know if she can do it. Ok, form words. Try.

“I wanna tell you something, that’s kind of a long story. And it’s connected to other stories. And basically I’ve just gone too long without talking about any of it and now there’s like this big clusterfuck of details that I need you to know but can’t figure out where to start.”

Whew. Even the vaguest of outbursts feels cathartic. Olivia doesn’t seem to be freaked out yet.

“Emma, I’m pretty sure I know you better than anyone. And you can trust me.”

“I know you say that now but...I don’t know if, after I say what I, well I don’t know if you’re gonna trust me. I haven’t said everything that I need to say to you. Or Zo and Mad.”

“Ok, so, here’s your chance. I’m listening.”

Emma takes a deep breath. Where to start?

*knock knock*

The knocks are soft. Unlike her mom’s, whose are very prison guard-esque, and actually who is more likely to not knock at all. Emma calls out.

“What.”

Isabel’s voice comes from the other side of the door.

“I gotta tell you something.” Her voice is uncharacteristically soft.

“I’m on the phone with Liv right now, can it wait?”

Silence.

“Iz?”

Emma hears the creaking of Isabel’s footsteps down the wooden hallway, and then her beddoor shutting. Click, it locks.

Emma turns back to the phone.

“That was Iz, she’s been acting like a freak.”

“What’s going on with her?”

“No idea. I feel like 14 is a weird age, plus like, she’s REALLY social and into school and shit. This quarantine is probably forcing an inversion of her personality.”

Olivia nods with sympathy. “God, that’s rough.”

“Yeah...I feel kinda bad I guess. We just don’t really have anything to talk about.”

“Oh come on, you’re sisters. Talk about how controlling your mom is.”

Emma laughs. She flips onto her back and stretches her legs against the wall. Oh, physical exertion of any kind feels so unnatural.

“Well Liv...we do have one thing in common. Which is...one of the things I haven’t told you.”

Emma fights a smile.

“TELL ME”

“So I saw Isabel playing this weird computer game, I mean I don’t even know if it was a game or like what the hell it was, but now, I’m downloading it…”

“Uh, ok?? Why?”

“This is going to sound insane, but hear me out…”

“Hearing…”

“I got this...message...online. From someone who I’ve never met. A guy, I think, and his name is Mason.”

“OOOMG”

“Hahah well it’s not like that, I mean I have no fucking idea WHAT it’s like, because it’s very weird, and um, he’s the reason I’m downloading this game. The one that Iz is playing. Cuz he told me to.”

Silence.

“That...is really fucking weird.”

“I know.”

“You don’t even know how badly I wish I was coming over right now to go all detective on his ass right now with you…”

Emma laughs. “I know you would be. It’s so weird being here alone.”

“You’re not alone Em!!! I’m here. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but I’ll ALWAYS be here for you. That’s corny as hell but hey it’s true.”

“Hah, yeah...same. I’m here.”

How can Emma keep this incredibly annoying feeling of guilt suppressed? It’s kind of ruining the buzz of anything else. But it will be ok. Olivia will understand...

*ping*

Emma has come to expect that any message received to her ghostwriter account will be from Mason. She jumps up from her bed, still on the call with Olivia. Emma starts to get excited.

“So this is crazy but he just messaged me, ahhhhhh…”

“Eeee tell me what he said!!”

Sure enough, the message is from Mason.

MASON: hi! did you get it yet?

Emma reads the message aloud to Olivia, who is equally confused.

“What is he talking about?

“I have no idea…”

Emma starts typing a response.

EMMA: Good morning! Get what..?

MASON: a package!

Emma looks confused. Was it...Mason who sent the package? What the hell? How does he know where she lives?? Well at this point she’s not surprised.

“Liv, I gotta call you back!”

“Ok you BETTER tell me what the hell this package situation is because congratulations this is now the most interesting thing happening in my life!!!”

Emma ends the call and runs downstairs. Her parents haven’t moved from the couch, still watching coverage of the virus’s destruction on TV.

“Hey Mom where’s that package??”

“Iz said she’d bring it up to you.”

“What? Can you not give her my mail?”

Emma’s mom turns to face her. “Attitude. Chill.”

Emma rolls her eyes and runs upstairs. She knocks on Isabel’s door. Well, bangs, really.

“Hi ready to talk now. What’s up??”

No response. As Emma presses her ear against the door, she can’t hear anything. She jiggles the handle, it won’t open.

“This is really weird. Hello.”

“Hellooooo.”

“Fine, we don’t have to talk. But I need my package. Now.”

……

Emma grabs the little key from behind the thermostat in the hallway. Isabel will just have to forgive her for this. Emma inserts the key into the lock and…

The lock clicks, the handle turns, and the door opens.

Emma enters the room, ready for Isabel to yell at her.

“Iz??”

First Emma sees the packaging. The medium-sized cardboard box on the ground, the bubble wrap, the plastic…it had clearly been torn off in a hurry...

Isabel is sitting at her computer, her back turned toward Emma.

“Isabel?!”

Emma runs over and jerks the swivel chair to face her, and Isabel slouches over. She’s wearing a virtual reality headset.

The one that was sent to Emma in that package.

“ISABEL”

Isabel’s ears are covered with oversized headphones, but even without them, she wouldn’t be able to hear Emma anyway. Her body is limp. Non-responsive.

Emma starts panicking and checks Isabel’s pulse--steady. Her breathing, normal. What is happening here? What is going on??

Then Emma sees the computer screen.

The map. That fucking map.

She turns back to Isabel. She thinks of Mason. She realizes.

The right question is not “What”, but “Where.”

#writers #writers on tumblr #write #short fiction #shortstory #writing #pandemic #coronavirus #young adult #ya novels

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edelgoth · 5 years ago

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hihiii! I was wondering if it was possible to get a matchup for FE:3H or DA:I (male characters pls!!)? i'm an ESFJ!! i'm shy around people i'm new to but, with my small group of friends i'm usually quite loud/laugh ALOT, crack a ton of jokes. i'm told i look intimidating at first because of my height but actually i'm just a big ol'teddy bear! i often look out for my friends and help them out if they're down- the mom friend! but add a magarita glass in my hand.

(2) i often underestimate my strength as well by a TON because whenever i playfully slap my friends on the back they tell me i have the strength of 10 men FJDSK my hobbies include drawing, occasionally rollerblading and exercising! :} sorry if this ask was long and thank u!!! have a lovely day !!!!

HI THIS IS AWFULLY LATE I’M SO SO SORRY

oh your description made me laugh~ i dub thee margarita mum

so for fire emblem three houses, i match you with…

raphael!!

mum friend and dad friend,,, match made in heaven,,, my PARENTS,,,

you may be tall but raphael’s probably taller, so you guys would have this incredible aesthetic of “accidentally intimidating but actually the biggest softies you’ll ever meet” going

you’re shy around new people, but that’s not going to be a problem with raphael. he’s just so gregarious that i think you guys would hit it off very quickly!!

everyone can always hear you guys because you’re constantly laughing together. everyone’s accustomed to the sound, and honestly? it’s kind of comforting to hear

no seriously, you’re always cracking jokes,,, you have so many inside jokes that sometimes it feels like you’ve got your own language

cuddliest couple around,,, raphael honestly looks so nice to cuddle with, and you described yourself as a teddy bear, so,,,

you’re both the sort to look out for people when they’re down, and you think you guys would be absolute angels. you adopt half the monastery and you’re always checking in with them, making sure they’re eating well and that they’re feeling okay please adopt me

i feel like raphael would probably be impressed by your strength, and would always be encouraging you to come and train with him; finding out you like to exercise would probably seal the deal for him

even when you’re not training yourself, he likes it when you’re there; it helps motivate him to work harder, and he’ll constantly be grinning at you whenever he does anything impressive

okay just bc of the “strength of ten men” line, i can imagine him always challenging you to arm wrestles. it becomes a tradition for you guys; whenever you finish a training session together, it’s TIME TO WRESTLE

oh you bet he’s a big fan of all your hobbies. that drawing you’ve done? this is amazing! watching you rollerblade? that was incredible! (i hope you read that in his voice bc i certainly did)

i just love this pairing so much,,, i hope you love my boy because you two would be incredible together,,,

alternative matchups

sylvain: i think the fact that you don’t seem to take life too seriously would be surprisingly charming to sylvain. while he plays off that he doesn’t care about anything, he does, and there are undertones that hint at him being very bitter about life. having you around would help lift his spirits a bit, i think? and you’re both the sorts to look out for your friends! i feel like you might miss it when he flirts with you a first? i don’t quite know why but that’s the vibe i get, and i think that has great comedic potential.

lorenz: i feel like you’d be a very surprising pair; you’d be able to bring lorenz down a peg, and show him that there are things to enjoy about life outside of being noble. you seem very affable and i think that’d help break through lorenz’s pretenses, and whoops he’s fallen in love with you now,,, i just think you guys would have such a funny, endearing dynamic

idk how old you are and he’s married but i think you and alois would get along really well,,, my emotional support parents,,,

dragon age matchup under the cut!

and for dragon age inquisition, i match you with…

iron bull!!

OH BOY i love this concept,,, you’re also my new parents now

again, bull is a big boy, so you’d have that same “we look super intimidating but we’re actually the coolest, most caring people you’ll ever run into” vibe going

bull is less overtly caring than you, but i think you’d help to bring that side out of him. like, you guys’d be helping out more subtly? i don’t know if that makes sense, but i think you guys would always be helping out in “sneaky” ways

bull has a tougher exterior, and it’s one he’s honed and worked on for quite a while. but, he does genuinely care a lot about the people in his life, and i think he’d always be coming up with ways of letting you know he loves you (without having to say it)

look,,, the man probably names his weapon after you. he says it’s a joke, and that it’s to tease you, but come on,,,

on that note,,, bull is going to tease the hell out of you. i hope you’re ready for that. he’s very clever and perceptive, so be on your toes!

you both like to laugh, and that’s something else you’d bond over! you’d always have a joke for each other, and you can bet on the chargers getting involved. it becomes a competition. you must out-joke each other. krem has a tally.

OH MY GOODNESS you become the second mum of the chargers (bull is their first, of course),,, they all love you,,, you’re always checking in with them and sharing a drink down at the tavern,,, they love you and bull together and they always let you know you’re welcome,,,

i think bull’d also be impressed by your strength, and honestly? he’d always be challenging you to a friendly fight. like always. it usually ends up in a tie. he tries to mix up the weapon of choice to throw you off but it never works. unstoppable force meets immovable object. a match made in heaven.

bull is less openly affectionate, but i think he’d get quite cuddly later in the night. he’s actually super clingy when he’s asleep (it’s one of the things you actually tease him for)

oh you are absolutely a power couple, on the battlefield and off. you’ve both got the strength of ten men, after all

you’d be such a great pair,,, my other parents,,,

alternative matchups

varric: my reasons for matching you with varric would be very similar to those listed for bull. i just think you two would have a lot of fun together!! i think your dynamic would be quite similar as well, but varric is more likely to engage you in wordplay than swordplay. you’d be the funniest couple around, and everyone loves hanging out with you because you always have the best jokes and stories. also you’re both mum friends, so you’re constantly looking after Everyone.

blackwall: i think you’d have a nice balance!! blackwall definitely enjoys some levity and banter, but i think he tends to hold back a bit. i think he’d be quite comfortable around you, and you’d get to see more of that light-hearted, playful blackwall! i like this concept Very Much

#matchups #dragon age matchups #fire emblem matchups #iron bull matchup #raphael matchup #i'm sorry margarita mum #i've been so busy i hope you see this T-T

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whosxafraid · 6 years ago

Photo

holy christmas dudes....has it really been two years already? i mean i feel like it was yesterday i hesitantly made this blog without any real hope anyone would want to interact with this over sized old man but needing to make the blog anyway because the fecker wouldn’t be quiet---but here we are...and just damn.

ＧｉｖｅａｗａｙＧｕｉｄｅｌｉｎｅｓ：

Give away begins: now - 03/25/19 Give away ends : 6:00pm EST - 03/29/19

1. One like/re-blog per blog.

I get really turned around and easily confused so please make this easier on me and only either re-blog the post or like the post. But only do either one once.

2. Must be following Luka and be an RP blog in order to participate.

Please don’t just follow to participate in the giveaway, okay? I can’t control you following and then un-following but its super rude and just karma’s a bitch okay?

3. I need a week or so to get the prizes out after the giveaway ends.

Bare with me. I keep my promises it just takes me time.

4. Winners will be chosen using the random number generator. Keeps everything nice and fair :)

5. If you are a multi-muse and win, please be prepared to chose one of your muses for icons made.

6. If you win and your muse’s fc is not well known or has little screen time, please be prepared to help me out if I can’t find suitable resources on my own for graphics/icons/etc.

7. If you win and you have a favorite picture or resource(aka movie/episode/etc) in which your muse’s fc is portrayed please feel free to let me know!

8. If you win please be prepared to provide a primary color and/or scheme you would like the graphics/icons to have.

ＰＲＩＺＥＳ:

1st Place: 1 promo graphic, 1 set of Online/Offline/Lurking/Drafts banners, 25 [200x100] icons, psd and watermarked with your chosen letter(s).

2nd Place: 1 promo graphic and 25 [200x100] icons, psd and watermarked with your chosen letter(s). .

3rd Place: 1 promo graphic

ƓƠƠƊ ԼƲƇƘ!

follow forever beneath the cut

@brooklynislandgirl / @tarnishedhalo / @quothesquills

yes hi i love you always? lol thank you for being my partner is so many fictional crimes. for being a like minded cray like me but also constantly teaching me and bettering me as a person literally every day. i love how we can finish each other sentences sometimes, and are so alike and then completely different so we end up seeing more angles to things. you can put me in tears one second and then rip my soul out the next. i like u, ur a good. so ur kinda stuck with me. stay you cuz otherwise im gonna be feckin lost.

@morgansmornings

also yes hello is this thing on? I LOVE YOU. yer a fecking gem of a human being and while u may not need me too i will go to war with my bat swinging for u always. you make me laugh when i wanna cry and always are an ear when i need to vent. i love ur imagination and ur brain and i can not gush enough about how amazing ur muse is. its takes someone extraordinary to make someone extraordinary. and your muse is extraordinary. remember that if nothing else. besties always cuz im keeping u sorry not sorry.

@seanceisms / @umbrellakidstm / @wolventm / @scciopath

fucking beautiful human being you are okay. i love you always and i will follow you across any blog you ever make. and that sounded way less stalkerish in my head but whatever you get it. u can’t escape me LOL. always an ear and always a joy to talk to even when we’re doing nothing but trading pictures or headcanons or screaming about stupidity we find or murdering each other with feels.

@riggsanity

my dude ur a fecking treasure. ur humor is sharp and i love that. your amazing at your hobby and i love every reply i get from you. i love that we can have conversations that stretch over hours because we both get distracted or get busy but we always know where we’re at. ur fantastic and im blessed to have met you.

@mynameisanakin

there are too many inside jokes and not enough time to list them all. this is a friendship that i fucking love and never wanna lose. ur unique and ur a fecking trip and i LOVE that about you. the sometimes brutal honesty is refreshing to say the least, and i can not word how much i love our thread and our future plots. stay golden like the sand in our Jamaican no fig capes. ;)

@the-blackest-spider

holy balls dude like how long have we known each other at this point? i cant even remember. all i know is i love u and i know we dont talk as much as we used too but i love that we can pick up right where we left off when we do and there’s not a beat missed. ur brilliant and will always ALWAYS be ‘my natasha’.

@tabbyrp and @corinnebaileyrp

you two are gifts okay. always have something kind to say to me. always checking on me when my ooc posts get a little weird and sideways. (more than usual anyway). i love both of you and i love our plots and threads. every single one. -throws cookies at both with exuberance-

@thor-theavengergod

one of my closest dudes.i miss ur thor so much. but im glad we can stay connected on discord. ur artwork is GLORIOUS and always a joy to see pop up on my dash. you’re always an ear and never afraid to say what you think. and that’s really rare in this day and age. Keep being amazing my dude. u shine and it shows!

@bettershotthanbucky | @edithbarton / @hitslikeatruck / @mutatiiions

okay but like world of an au and plot we built i love it. you dudes are fucking beautiful and will always be my bartons(and wolverine/Piotr/and the rest). always. we dont always talk or are in each others day to day but when we do it’s always a riot. you guys are my dudes, dudes. never ever ever ever forget that. i’ll always be here for u dudes. whenever u need me and i know u’ll be the same for me cuz that’s just how ride or die dudes roll. -all the hugs-

@daggermxchanic

man let me talk about how fucking great it is to get to write luka with someone close to where he’s from even if it’s not the same time frame. Its amazing. I love your muse and i love the oppertunities he gives me to explore other facets of luka. Two grumpy old men never gets old and i LOVE ALL OF IT. ur a fucking amazing and don’t let no body tell u different my dude. ur classic.

@deathisachoice

okay we interact more on my pirate blog but fuck it i do what i want. im so glad u were able to finish ur thesis. im glad its behind u and that weight has been lifted. im super excited to get to talk to u more again and make awesome plots for our pirates (and maybe here too). either way ur writing is amazing and so are u. always a joy to talk to and write with!!

@ruthlessmeans / @mockeryofreason

okay but i love u alot. and i wish i could bat away all the bad that’s been happening as of late. just teach it a lesson so it fucks off permanently. but as i cant all i can do is offer cookies and remind u ur loved. i admire the decidcation that u have to ur muses. i love how u think through every angle and facet of them. that speaks volumes about u as a person. keep ur chin up my dude. ur silver lining is coming.

@canadianclaws

not so much rp’ing anymore but we stay in touch over discord and u literally NEVER fail to make me laugh even when i don’t want too or i’m feeling like something four days dead. i absolutely adore u and our friendship and i love that we can just drop funny fucking shit in our chat at random hours on any given day and its no big ya know? JUST LOVE U A LOT -tackle squishes-

@cochetsharpshooter

one of my best dudes and a fucking peach too boot. always uplifting and always the best gifs. years of jokes lbr and no enough angst and time in the day to write it all every probably. u are my bucky, always and forever. never lose ur wonder and ur drive my dude. ur inspiring. truly.

@ronmanmob

a gift with words right here. dedication to your muse on a level i’ve never seen. its phenomenal. always good vibes to talk to, always up beat. its honestly wonderful that we’re mutuals. always love reading your rps and ur blog is general is epic. keep it up. ur a gem.

@noprodigalson

life has gotten busy for u. taken u in different directions and that’s just something that happens. that’s life. but getting to see u pop up on my dash now and then. little updates and fashion drops it warms me up. ur style sense is amazing and so is ur hair. (yes i still want those pants). ur a beautiful human and hopefully life will let u get back to ur hobby here real soon. all my love my dude!

To all my of my followers:

you all brilliant lights in the world, in your own ways. Never, ever, EVER forget that. you are amazing. you are all special. to me and the other people in your lives that mean the most. stay frosty. and KEEP WRITING. ALWAYS KEEP WRITING. NO MATTER WHAT. NO MATTER THE TRIALS. KEEP WRITING!! because remember there was a time when the world thought Van Gogh wasn’t worth anything at all and now he’s a house hold name even little kids know who he is.

BE BRAVE

BE CREATIVE

BE YOU NO MATTER WHAT

-Crow

#[its just amazing really. i had to triple check the creation date of this blog and just DAMN]#[thank u to all of u that constantly put up with my slowness and general cray on the day to day]#[love u all]#[two year anniversary]#Out Of Fecks || OOC #Wolves Do Not Lose Sleep Over The Opinions Of Sheep || Que

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lachalaine · 6 years ago

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dun dun dududuuuuun !! bonjour, hello, and i wish only the happiest of holidays to all !! it’s the end of the year again, and while i’ll personally admit it’s been a huge mess of one on my side of things, i must say that i’m very thankful for a lot of what’s occurred this year as well, especially for me with regards to the rp community on tumblr ! it was a year of ups and downs and while i wasn’t as active as i would have liked to be due to the constancy of irl concerns, i’ve still somehow managed to acquire a severely supportive and absolutely wonderful set of mutuals that have made me feel very so welcome on here time and time again, making tumblr out to be what i would seriously consider to be one of the few sanctuaries i have left that i hold dear to my heart. being on here has legitimately been actual therapy for my mental health in the months that have passed, and i only have you all to thank for it ! your mere presence on here, whether or not we might have spoken on a near constant basis or even just once in a blue moon ( because i know i tend to evaporate into thin air once every few days without warning sdbhdbahda ) or even potentially never has been a real source of joy for me, even if all i was able to do was generally just take a seat back and watch you having fun on the dash.

thank you for being such positive and such creative individuals on here, for putting so much of yourselves into a hobby, for spending your time and energy on creating new worlds with us with your characters, and just generally being such absolute inspirations for everyone. thank you as well for still being here and for accepting me and my muse onto your dashboards and for allowing us the chance to impact your tumblr experience, despite that we’ve had more then a few slip ups this year that we’re still trying to catch up on. we’ve never felt more accepted by the community ( nor have i ever felt like more of a mess, but you take the good with the bad and roll with it guess dbshdbsa ) and i sincerely appreciate you guys never giving up on me, no matter what !

your genuine patience and kind understanding has been a blessing for me and her in so many ways, and i’m thankful that we can still be here at the end of this year to hopefully make up for all that we’ve missed and failed to do with you guys, and still attempt to try to come in strong for the next one. i’m hoping as well to repay everyone for all that you’ve done for me this year, because i’m not exaggerating when i say i don’t think i could have made it through without your support !! whether it’s been a small ask or a short im message or even just a spare like on one of my posts, it all has meant so, so much to me, and though i know people will say that tumblr is a hellscape, somehow this community still manages to power through the bullshit to make it one of the most welcoming platforms i’ve ever had the chance to be on, and i’m thankful for the chance to be considered a part of it. it’s allowed me to meet all of you, people that i don’t know i would have ever had the opportunity to meet otherwise, and that alone has been an experience i would hate to ever have to lose.

thanks for being here for me and for jackie, through our times of stilted growth and near constant stumbles, and thanks for giving me the strength of heart to keep moving forward, and to keep trying !! i know for a fact i wouldn’t be nearly as stable irl if i didn’t have this hobby to keep me grounded, and honestly - being here is one of the best decisions i have ever made in MY LIFE. bless you, ily and thank you xx

and so below the cut i just have some quick ( lol ) messages for a few friends that really just made such a grand impact on my year, i don’t know where i would be without them. i also just want to make a quick shout out to the people that have made my dashboard what it is - a haven for creativity and laughter and inspiration, and a place where i feel most accepted and at peace. if i might have missed you, please don’t take offense to it, there’s just a lot of people on my dash and honestly my head is spinning already but ily too please don’t doubt it and thank you !!

for the people that i just generally really adore on my dashboard but have also made such a grand impact on my muse and i in 2018, i just want to say THANK YOU for sharing your time and your efforts with me, for sending me asks and for writing with me or even if we haven’t written together yet - just thank you for being my friend and for being here !! I KNOW IM STILL CATCHING UP TO THINGS IM AT 115 ON MY INBOX AND NOT TO MENTION MY DRAFTS BUT I’LL MAKE SURE TO FULFILL EVERYTHING I OWE YOU GUYS ASAP! thanks for being so patient with me and for giving me countless chances and for those of you checking up on me and also offering me your support when i needed a friend - thanks for being such absolutely incredible people!

i really adore you guys more then you know and i hope 2019 gives us a chance to do more together, because i feel a lot like there’s so much more to work on and i’m so excited to get to it all with you! also YOU GUYS ARE SERIOUSLY AMAZING WRITERS AND IM CONSTANTLY IN AWE AND READING YOUR WORK BECAUSE ITS ALWAYS SO MUCH FUN AND I LEARN A LOT AND YOU GUYS ARE REALLY INSPIRING OKAY I JUST NEED YOU TO KNOW THAT THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR TALENTS WITH ME I AM THANKFUL FOR THIS CHANCE ALWAYS !!!

@dialforsnacc / @jaxyu / @saikuru-no-owari / @mikrifotia / @niirmohii / @aureumrex / @endgcme / @ncughts / @univentorem / @moonsought / @valhallic / @tamenteki / @lifedenied / @necrophagic / @spellbiinding / @hathlived / @manypcths / @odigxs / @brynhildrofromantia / @portalipsis / @pridesglasses / @luseron / @ghxstlyrxveries / @nanpoghan / @lordspreyer / @moonsought / @sukkubxs / @hhemeraa / @xaconite / @imperterritus / @astcrii

thank you all sincerely for everything, and i do really hope i managed to get most everyone asdbhasbdha i know im missing quite a few people but even if you’re not on the list, please know i adore you, thank you !! also moving forward these are the uhm -- ‘short’ messages i promised, sorry for babbling on and all but thanks for reading through, i appreciate it !!

@bestiatexere // momochiiiii !!!!! the best twinsie !! the sweetest twinsie !! the most amazing and seriously the most incredible person friend i have ever had the absolute pleasure to write with! not only write with, but plot with and ship with AND DHBSDHBASHDS GIRL I SWEAR IT HAS BEEN AN ABSOLUTE BLESSING FOR ME THAT WE STUMBLED ON EACH OTHER THE WAY WE DID. IT COULDN’T HAVE COME AT A BETTER TIME. we’ve been through a shit ton together since the day we met, and it’s been a hell of a roller coaster ( like holy shit, i can’t believe the crap we went through tHIS YEAR ALONE !! ) but thankfully we managed to get through it all in one piece! and though i know we’re exhausted beyond belief and kinda wanna pass out to hibernate for a few weeks until we’re ready to face the world again, i know we unfortunately don’t quite have that kind of luck on our side just yet. but someday !! someday soon!! someday we’ll have the chance to write and plot and make sure our kids get all the happy endings ( and angst endings hihihi ) they could ever WANT OR NEED AND DHSAHDBASH HAVE I EVER TOLD YOU HOW HAPPY AND LUCKY I AM THAT I SOMEHOW MANAGED TO GET TO BE YOUR FRIEND ?? you are a blessing through and through, always giving so much of yourself and trying your best no matter what! you’ve been able to keep me grounded when i’ve felt like i’ve been a ghost, and you’ve been such a constant source of comfort and support when i’ve been lost. the fact that you’re always so understanding and kind to me even when i’m like this has been such a treasure to me, i never want to make you feel like i ever take your friendship for granted. i am seriously so absolutely lucky that you’ve given me this chance to write with you and your incredible muses, because you give all you can for them, and your effort shows. in heart, mind and words, in ideas and plots and all the gifs we squeal and scream over constantly --- these things have gotten me through my days when the world seemed very bleak, and i am thankful that you’ve chosen to share these treasures with me. you are the one person where i feel like we’re constantly on the same page and i can be an anxious mess with you and also a dork with you and ITS SO COMFORTABLE IM SO LUCKY !!! YOU’RE MY BESTEST TWIN. SOMEONE I CONSIDER ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS. AND I CONSTANTLY ADORE YOU AND AM IN AWE OF YOU AND YOUR TALENTS AND ABILITIES EVERY DAY YOU GET TO SHARE IT WITH ME. U ARE A BLESSING. NEVER FORGET. YOU’RE THE BEST GIRL AND I HOPE YOU NEVER EVER HAVE TO FEEL OTHERWISE AGAIN !!

@kuebcko // SCALEEEEEEEEY !!! hello hi ily thank you for always being there for me :((((((( honestly, i don’t know how you manage to do it but somehow i feel like you have a j warning alert somewhere in your mind, that just kinda pops up an alert whenever you feel like im sad or need a friend AND LET ME TELL YOU, IT IS WORKING LIKE A CHARM. like, i don’t know if i’ve ever mentioned this, but i’ll be feeling anxious or lowkey down in the dumps, and even if i try to keep it quiet because i KNOW YOU WORRY ABOUT MEEEEE AND IM SORRY I DON’T WANT YOU TO WORRY BUT IT MEANS A LOT THAT U DO !! even if i try to keep it quiet, you still somehow manage to come in with like this one cute positivity ask or even just a cute pinterest pin for me to look at ( which btw YOUR AESTHETIC SENSE IS ALWAYS ON POINT !! ) AND HOLY HECK IT BRIGHTENS UP MY DAY LIKE U WOULDN’T BELIEVE. its like a guaranteed HAPPY switch for me, that just turns my day from :( to :D :”> :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD JUST LIKE THAT. you have helped me through so many of my days, even without trying. you’ve always supported me and tried your best to cheer me up, offering me a shoulder to cry on or vent to when you knew things were rough. and you’ve always been so, so understanding of me and my current predicament THAT I DON’T KNOW AT THIS POINT HOW YOU PUT UP WITH ME BECAUSE IM THE WORST AND MOST UNRELIABLE PERSON EVER AND ITS TERRIBLE AND IM SORRY BUT THANK YOU FOR NEVER GIVING UP ON ME :(((( YOU ALWAYS SPARK THE WARMEST LIGHT IN MY HEART AND I NEVER FAIL TO SMILE WHEN I SEE A MESSAGE FROM YOU. AND ALL I WISH FOR IN THE FUTURE IS THE GENUINE HOPE THAT IM ABLE TO DO THE SAME FOR YOU. i know you’re still uncertain of your work and what you do, and it hurts my heart to see you so anxious about things, and i know no amount of words might help take that frustration you feel away. but i must tell you, no matter what you write - your heart and your soul has always been able to resonate so intensely through your writing and your muses, that it always takes those of us that that get the chance to read it on a trip! one that we’re very reluctant to get off of, and one where we’re constantly looking forward to whatever else you’ve got up your sleeve. whatever else you have in mind to do, scaley, i hope you’re given the chance to do it, because i know you’ll be a success at it either way. thank you for always being there for me, and for always being there for so many of us that need a smile or a cheer just to get us through our days. i hope that in the coming year, i can be more present as your friend, and i hope i can be that same source of joy for you as well.

@soulmauled // SHIROOOOO !!! hello hello hi hi hi can i smother you in hugs for YEARS PLEASE YOU MAKE ME SO HAPPY ALL THE TIME AND IM SO HAPPY YOU’RE AROUND HONESTLY !! i know we don’t get to talk too much and that when we reply to each other its usually always more then a few days or weeks later but dhbashdbsah DO U KNOW I DON’T MIND AT ALL?? because so long as we get to chat once in a blue moon, that’s enough to make me happy! you’re honestly the absolute sweetest person i have ever met, and any time i get an ask for a chat from you, you’ve always been able to make me giggle, no matter how sad i might have been initially. you make my heart feel lighter, and i’m always glad when i get to hear of how you’re doing, and i’m always hoping that things are going well for you. thank you for always sending me things to answer from your boys, and for always doing your best to answer the things i manage to send you as well! i appreciate you doing the memes i tag you in all the time too because reading your results always makes me happy! idk honestly you’re just - you’re just a very sweet and soft presence to me all the time, and being able to be your friend is a blessing i wouldn’t exchange the world for and i appreciate you so very, very much! i hope your 2019 is an incredible year for you in all the ways possible, and i wish you a lot of happiness and good health! ALSO I WISH TO PROVIDE YOU WITH MORE JACKIE MOMENTS BECAUSE JACKIE BEING WITH YOUR BOYS IS A GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING AND I RESOLVE TO PROVIDE MORE OF IT FOR THE BOTH OF THEM DHSBADHBSAH BLESS

@bathed-in-red // RO !!!! SNUGGLES YOU FOREVER OH MY GOSH, I MISS YOU. THANK YOU FOR POPPING IN EVERY SO OFTEN WITH THE LIKES AND THE ASKS. THANK YOU FOR STILL BEING HERE AND FOR STILL SUPPORTING ME AND BEING AROUND. i miss writing with you so much and i hope we get the chance to do so again in the future. i hope things are going better for you in every way, and i hope your mum is doing well. i know things have been rough for you too and i wish 2019 would be better for both of us. please take care of yourself always and be safe. im so happy to see you every now and then honestly, and though we dont always get the chance to talk, im happy in the moments we do. i know we’re both busy as fuck and potentially always hibernating BUT. I ADORE YOU ALWAYS AND IM SO HAPPY THAT EVEN IF WE SPEND DAYS AND MONTHS APART, YOU’RE ALWAYS SOMEONE I KNOW I CAN DEPEND ON. thanks for being there. thanks for watching out for me. i hope things get better for you too and if you ever need anything on my end, please let me know. i’ll do whatever i can to be there for you, as best as can be. i adore you ro, and i miss you and roppi loads. take care always and be safe and ilyyyyy BIGGEST HUGGIES AND SNUGGLES HAPPIEST OF NEW YEARS TO YOU BBY YOU’RE THE BEST!

@valorandheart // KELLYY !!! HI HELLO EXCUSE ME DO U KNOW HOW HAPPY YOU MANAGE TO MAKE ME ALL THE DAMN TIME?? whether its with jamie or sanford, reading your messages or little comments and asks about the most random of the things i post always has the amazing ability to perk me up and make me laugh out loud whenever i get the chance to read them !! you’re such an incredibly uplifting and joyful person honestly, and im so happy we get to write together and plot together EVEN IF I POOF INTO NONEXISTENCE AND GET BACK TO THINGS IN LIKE A MONTH OR TWO ( IM SO SORRY !!! ) ITS ALWAYS INTERACTIONS WITH YOU THAT ALWAYS MAKE ME FEEL SO LIGHT AND HAPPY AND HONESTLY YOU’RE HILARIOUS AND FUN AND ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL IN EVERY WAY !! i’m so lucky that i’ve been able to write this plot out with you, even if ITS TAKING ME YEARS TO RESPOND TO THINGS. AND OUR PAIR IS ALWAYS ON A TURBULENT ROLLER COASTER THAT WE CANT ALWAYS FIGURE OUT BUT SOMEHOW THEY MANAGE TO MAKE IT WORK. its been such a joy for me this whole while though honestly speaking, because i’ve been able to see jackie grow from her experiences with jamie, and learn from him and somehow even try to strive to be a better person because of him. she’s still a mess, but she feels a little more whole, a little more not so lost when she’s with him, and this kind of development is the kind of thing I DREAM FOR. and i can’t wait to see where they end up!! or rather I CANT WAIT TO SEE WHEN THEY FINALLY GET A KISS IN AND ALSO WHEN THEY EVENTUALLY STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM THEIR FEELINGS OKAY IT’LL BE AMAZING !! also I WANT TO SEE SANFORD AND JACKIE INTERACT AND YELL AT EACH OTHER OKAY ITS A NEED AT THIS POINT WE BETTER DO SOMETHING IN 2019 OR ELSE IMMA SCREAM IN ALL HEADERS OKIE THAT WOULD BE BAD FOR THE BOTH OF US IT CANNOT HAPPEN EVER DHSABDHAS WE’LL WORK ON THIS OKAY OKAY THANK YOU WHOOOO !!

@weiwuxiian // LIGHT HI HELLO I KNOW I ALREADY TOLD U EVERYTHING IN THE TAGS THE OTHER DAY ON YOUR OWN END OF YEAR THING SO ILL TRY TO MAKE THIS QUICK, AHEM !! i just want to say THANK YOU. for being around for being my friend. i know i’m not the best person at keeping in contact at all, which is totally bad considering we have the same timezone, but i really really appreciate you being around !! being able to be your friend and also getting to write with you! you have such a brightness about you that is so wonderful to see in all honesty, and any muse you pick up somehow manages to radiate it! you are also so very sensible and kind, and i’m very lucky that we were able to get our muses to connect the way they did. libra and jackie will always be one of my favorite ships, and i know i still have some things i owe for him in my ask box, and even if you’re on hiatus with him rn, i must tell you that seeing you so happy on wwx is just as interesting for me as seeing you on libra. i hope school and everything is going well for you, i hope you were able to achieve your goals for the year but also get some time to rest for yourself. i really look up to you in all honesty, you’re one of my biggest inspirations and i hope we get to write our muses together again someday soon. also i hope we get to plot and chat lots again in the future hihi i really miss talking to you tbh !! i hope your new years is amazing and i just gotta say - i’m so thankful to have you as my friend! thankful and lucky and blessed that i was able to meet you this year and get to know you the way i did, and i so constantly wish you all the best!!

@richkicl // hello jae !!! gosh, i know its been a hell of a long time since we’ve spoken properly, but i hope you’ve been doing well !! we’ve missed you a ton since you’ve left, but we’ve also been cheering you on all this time even though you’ve been away! i’ve been rooting for you, and i know your absence on the dashboard was felt, but i hope you’ve been well and things have gotten better for you in the time that’s passed. I STILL OWE YOU A THREAD FOR SHOYA, BUT IDK IF YOU’RE STILL UP FOR DOING IT BUT IF YOU AREN’T THATS OKIE DOKIE !! i just hope you’re doing okay, honestly. thank you for always offering me a chance to talk about my problems, and for always giving me such solid advice when i need it. you’re one person who’s always been very rational but also so enthusiastic and kind, and being able to plot and write with you has always been the greatest fun for me. i look forward to seeing you around again soon, but please always take your time no matter what. i wish you well, and i wish you an amazing new year. thank you for always making me laugh, and for encouraging me to be more open and be more upbeat. honestly, its because i met you that i feel as comfortable as i do today, and i want to thank you for being such a positive individual, more then anything else. you’re amazing and i adore you, and im so lucky i’ve had the chance to be your friend!! i hope we get to talk again soon. HAPPY NEW YEAR, AND I MISS YOU !!

@astrumtristis // LULU. HI I MISS YOU. i miss you a lot and gosh, its been a while. i wish we spoke more often, as much as we used to honestly. things seemed a lot simpler back then, tbh. i know things have been going rough for you lately, and --- i’m really sorry that things have turned out the way they did. i want to give you a small thank you however, because somehow, despite all your own troubles, you’ve managed to take some time out to give me your support as well. honestly, you’ve been a prominent part of the reason i was able to get through the year, as your constant strength has given me the will to keep moving forward. my only hope is that through your own burdens, i might be able to provide that same amount of support to you, as much as i am able to from so far away. the things you’ll be facing from now on will be difficult, more so then anything i’ve ever had to face, but i’ve always been in awe of your strength and your vitality, lulu, and i hope in even the smallest of ways - i might be able to somehow support you and make the road ahead easier for you to traverse in any way possible. please let me know if you ever need a friend. if you ever need anything at all. i’m here for you, as much as you might need me. no matter what, you have my thoughts and my well wishes for everything to get better for you in the end. you’re strong lulu, one of the strongest people i know, and you can surmount this. we’ll fight the universe together if you need backup !! just say the word and i’m there !! do your best lulu, and i hope the next year, and every year after - is the best ever. happy new year bby !!

@vxtxation // MIKA !!! oh my gosh where do i even start ?? do you know, you are one of those people i just absolutely look up to no matter what? i’ve always admired your work when i first saw you writing with jae, and idk how we got to being friends but !! IM SO HAPPY WE BECAME FRIENDS TBH. we dont’ talk too much but holy heck i gotta say ALL YOUR MESSAGES ALWAYS MAKE ME SO HAPPY. youre just such a positive person who’s honestly really really cool !! not to mention talented in both writing and art !! i’ve told you this before but your art has always so incredibly wonderful to me! the expressions you give them, the creativity in their situations and the emotion is them is so very clear to anyone who sees it, i feel so ?? lucky ?? to have been on the receiving end of some your work?? I STILL KEEP THEM IN MY PHONE OKAY. also i look back on that one happy but crying jackie pic and my heart just !! gets all warm and light and i want to hug you so so much for that one !! THAT WAS. PERFECTION. IN A PICTURE. AND I DONT KNOW WHAT I DID TO DESERVE IT BUT IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME. it stood out at a time when i needed support the most, and you didn’t have to but you did and GOD IM JUST REALLY LUCKY. TO HAVE THE CHANCE TO BE YOUR FRIEND. i hope to see so much more of your work in the year to come and i hope 2019 is kind to you. I HOPE WE GET TO WRITE A LOT MORE TOGETHER TOO IM NOT GIVING YOU NO 6 MONTH DELAY ANYMORE I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL NOT ALLOW IT. THANKS FOR BEING PATIENT ALL THROUGHOUT AND FOR BEING SO SUPPORTIVE. YOU’RE INCREDIBLE AND AMAZING AND I APPRECIATE YOU MORE THEN YOU KNOW. THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU AND I HOPE YOU HAVE THE HAPPIEST NEW YEAR IN THE WORLD !!

@tragicalyouth // ASH BBY !!! IM SO GLAD YOU’RE BACK !! i know its been a while since we’ve written together or plotted together or even chatted at all, but i’m hoping we get the chance to do so again soon !! i’m glad to see you picking things up where they left off, and to see you happy and well. im looking forward to more atsu and jackie interactions soon, and i hope they’re able to advance from their convoluted mess of frenemy/crush hahahaha !! they’re still one of my favorite pairings and im looking forward to seeing whatever is in store for them in the future !! i hope your 2019 goes really well, and you’re the happiest you’ve ever been. thanks for always sending me asks as well, I STILL HAVE SOME TO ANSWER FROM YOU BECAUSE I DROPPED THE BALL ON RP STUFF IN JUNE AND IM STILL CATCHING UP BUT IM LOOKING FORWARD TO IT !! i hope we get to chat lots soon and i hope i get to see a lot more of you on the dashboard in the year to come! thank you for always being so supportive and kind as well, and i’m wishing the best for you too! do your best, and happy new year bby !! YOU DESERVE ONLY THE GREATEST!

anyway THATS ALL I WAS GONNA DO THIS WHEN I REACHED 500 FOLLOWERS AND IM LIKE 45 FOLLOWERS FROM THAT AND I DONT CARE ABOUT THE COUNT ANYMORE I HAVEN’T SQUEALED ABOUT PEOPLE ALL YEAR THIS IS MY CONTRIBUTION TO THE FANGIRL OF MY MUTUALS OKAY I LOVE YOU ALL OKAY HAPPY NEW YEAR AND HAVE THE BEST YEAR EVER ALL THE LOVE AND GAMBATTE !!

#&& artists of the year ( bias list )#/ HI WOW DID I DO THIS WTF.#/ SORRY I JUST BABBLED A LOT I WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE THIS SHORT #/ BUT I GUESS I HAD A LOT TO SAY #/ ITS TWO AM IDK I JUST. I WANTED TO SAY THANK YOU BEFORE THE YEAR ENDED.#/ ITS BEEN TOUGH BUT I'VE MANAGED SOMEHOW. AND A LARGE PART IS DUE TO TUMBLR GETTING ME THROUGH IT.#/ SO THANK YOU ALL AND I HOPE THIS ISN'T TOO BORING.#/ i wasn't able to tag everyone in but !! i tried my best with who i remembered off the top of my head sorry about that !! if i missed #/ anyone i apologize !! its late and dhsabdhasb i tried my best #/ anywho happy new year ily all that all thank you !!#long post

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rkxblue · 6 years ago

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happy #rkfifth !

i told myself i wasn’t going 2 do this b/c ... i’m lazy bean, but here we are anyway! let’s get it!

but anyways starting off rookies was kind of like a vacation to me, rp wise. before rk i had my own rp that lasted a while but during 2013, there was just some drama between members that i constantly had 2 deal with and honestly it was like ... dragging me down, making admining seem like a chore and i loathed logging on to the main b/c i knew there would be some shit w/ these certain people that i had to deal with. so seeing rk in the tags being a different kind of idol roleplay ( and shout out rk for being a trendsetter ) /and/ the fact that reserves were filling up so quickly for a new rp, i quickly sent in a muse.

and it was a little ... idk at first. i did feel out of place considering most came from a different rp in the beginning and i wasn’t, and on top of me being v awkward w/ talking 2 people on instant messengers, there was a bit of time where i felt like i didn’t fit in and almost dropped like 2 weeks after i joined, LOL. luckily at the time a lot of things were going on which helped w/ plotting and meeting new muses, and everyone was super friendly and nice and that’s what kept me here!!!

so then rk turned from a vacation you didn’t want to leave from -- i ended up slagging off p majorly on my responsibilities as an admin at my own rp for a while because i was having such a good time at rk -- it rly brought back my love for rp and muse and tbh if you look back at rksunyoung’s archive back in 2013 - early 2014, i don’t think i’ve ever written as much on tumblr as i did back then, LOL. rk has definitely had it’s ups and downs and i’ve dropped both of my muses before -- but it wasn’t too long before i was bringing them back because there really isn’t a place like rk within krp. that, along with the dedication between both members and admins, is why it’s lasted so long and is still thriving with a super active dash after five fucking years. that’s crazy!! i think i remember mei saying something similar on twitter -- but when i see old rp friends and they ask “omg ur /still/ at rk???”

so it’s obvious to see why this rp went from feeling like a vacation to a home, right?? it’ll always have a special place in my heart ♡

anyways moving on to my characters too -- when i first brought rksunyoung, now miss rkxblue, i never thought that she would last more than a couple of months, much less be involved with so many things within rk’s history!! it’s ... p wild to think about, especially since i’m someone that has a hard time committing to hobbies and such. it’s been a fun ride watching her go from someone who was wild and reckless and had a problem with love and a little bit of anger issues to someone whos a lot more well rounded, a soft idiot LOL. she even finally got herself the sweetest boyfriend after four years of being shipless on the rp, which i still can’t wrap my head around because denying herself love and believing that it doesn’t exist was one of her /things/ for the longest time. the list of stuff she’s done is so long and now that it’s lead to her finally debuting it’s ... scary yet exciting for her, to be honest, she thought she’d be a trainee forever!! i’ve had a lot of ups and downs with her muse as well, to the point where there was like years ( i think ) of inactivity on my end and she should have 4238972389 more points than she does atm because of that. i do feel sorry for her b/c that was just me being lazy ofc, but in the end i’ve gotten my shit together on her and have been pumping out replies p consistently this year and plotting w/ trainees which has done wonders for her muse. and although hyomin was literally /the/ perfect fc for her considering her personality, the fc change 2 yura has also helped majorly with my muse and it’s been so much easier to plot and reply and even with her characterization too.

as for miss rknvna!! she hasn’t had as much development as sun, aside from her tumultuous rls with a former song minho and being a royal trainee during her first run, and that’s mainly been due to my laziness again jfkafl;a. the good thing tho is that i’ve finally been able to experience life as a rookie with her, considering the times my girls have become trainees were v quick ( sun’s first time was like a week or two after the rp opened, then 3 months after i rejoined w/ her, and nana became a trainee only a month after she joined the first time ) so it was nice to experience the freedom that came with being a rookie!! since 2018 has been sun’s year, i’m going to focus on nana for 2019 so that she can branch out more!!

i guess before i move on i should give shoutouts to all my other rkmuses throughout the years whose lives were so short that i can’t even remember their urls LOL -- my song jieun, park kyungri, goo hara, and choi jinri muses!! i’m sure there’s at least one more that i’m forgetting, but they all lasted around 2 weeks so...

but i also want 2 thank rk for allowing me to be more social as well!! i’ve said this in the last anniversary post i wrote 25238957 years ago but i used 2 have a phobia of sorts when it came 2 instant messengers, so i didn’t rly have one when msn was popping and therefore, didn’t talk 2 many people ooc wise in rps. i made an aim when i came to rk and just ... diving in and talking to people helped out a lot with that, even if i do still get anxious from time to time w/ just simply messaging people. :(

i’m a shy individual ( and for some reason its only exacerbated online??? idk fam ) and unconsciously rather private as well, so that definitely hinders me from making friends as much as i would like to, but it’s a day by day process!! it’s something i’ve come 2 terms w/ as of late and will seriously work on within the next year! but even w/ me being the way that i am, i’ve been able 2 meet a couple of people that have made my experience in rk just a little bit brighter so a ( very brief ) shout out 2 them ~

to maria ( @rkjinkis ) : my sweet angel!!! i’m so glad that rk brought us together because you’ve honestly become one of my closest friends from this rp and in general tbh!! ur so super sweet and caring and a blessing 2 my life, just as much as jinki is to ahyoung’s!! i’m sorry that sun is too independent for her own good but she’s working on it okay!! baby steps!! i love how genuine u are and how we can rely on each other through thick and then, and honestly i want the world for u and more. i love love love LOVE u so much, and i’ll make sure u never forget it!! thank u for being my friend and my source of happiness!!! ♡ ♡ ♡

to hamin ( @rksoohyun ) : despite the fact that we knew each other from snu it was rk that actually got us 2 start talking and i’m so grateful for that!! u literally are the cutest girl in the entire world and ur just as outgoing irl as u are online; seeing morning musume ( a group i thought i would never see live ) w/ u was truly a highlight in my life!!! and ofc soohyun will forever be nana’s fuckin child and she’ll always be rooting for her happiness!! i love u u sweet buttercup and i can’t wait until ur back so i can talk 2 u again!!! ♡ ♡ ♡

to mei ( @rkariel ) : man i admired u for the longest b/c i’ve always loved the way u write and ur characterization of tiffany / ariel, so when years ago nick told me that u were actually paying attention to the minana plot and threads i was so shook i nearly tripped over myself LMFAO. i’m happy that we actually started talking b/c of that tho!!! it’s so easy 2 write w/ u and i honestly have so much fun regardless if we’re just talking about our characters, getting carried away on dash or twitter, or hurting each other w/ headcanons!! ariel has become nana’s rock p much and w/o her i’m not sure how she would of fared her time w/ mino w/o her and their discussions!!! i hope that we can become closer in the future!!

to razel ( @rkcheri ) : hiya boo!!! ik we don’t rly talk anymore but i still wanted 2 mention u b/c u were one of my first friends in rk when i felt kinda lonely, and that was definitely one of the reasons i was able to stick around!! i loved writing w/ u b/c ur writing style was always so unique that i could actually point u out whenever we were in past rps together and it’s an honor 2 even write w/ u fjkalf;a. i’m sorry that sun is such a shitty friend and i’m looking forward 2 the day jihyun kicks her ass about not telling her about jinki b/c she deserves it LOL. but just, thank u!!!!

to amy ( @yienrk ) : are u surprised ur on here?? HAHA we don’t talk too much either but i do appreciate u checking up on me whenever i’m down and just generally being supportive and nice!!! also i’m in awe about how knowledgeable u are about idols in general ( i remember one of our first convos being about how sixteen came 2 be and the collapse of all of jype’s trainees and such ) and i love yien and nana’s supportive relationship too!! i can’t wait 2 see how they develop, and i hope 2 get closer 2 u in the future!! ; u ;

to eclipse girls ( @rkariel , @rkaudrey , @rkhaseul , @rkjennie , @rkyeri ) sun couldn’t of asked 2 debut w/ a better group of girls and i’m so glad that they harmonize w/ each other so well!! i’m excited 2 see what debuting brings for them!! ♡ ♡ ♡

and a shoutout 2 snu crew too ( piper / hoonji, nanu, @rksang, @rktomu, @rksoohyun , @rkjinhwan94, @rkpcy ) : even tho ik majority of u probably won’t see this i’m still tagging and talking about y’all anyway!!! i have so much fun reminiscing w/ u guys whenever we can, and i’m happy that i’ve grown closer too u all as well!! i’m sorry i was such a shit admin back in the day, and what brought y’all together was bad circumstances, but i’m glad it’s something that we can all look back on and laugh at now. i miss being together w/ all of u at once but i hope y’all are doing okay!!!! ♡ ♡ ♡

and naturally, the admods too!!! thank u guys for putting up w/ all my shit whenever i was in a slump or i sent in points late or fucked up the points ( honestly kyle u are such an angel for real LOL ), and for just keeping the rp in tip top shape!!! ur the back bone of rk and we couldn’t of made it this far w/ each and every one of u and ur contributions and dedication 2 the rp!!! i’m super proud of u guys and am proud 2 call u my admins!!!! ♡

and ofc shoutout 2 everyone that i’ve ever plotted and threaded w/ in the past and present -- i’m super shit at replying 2 those in general so thank u for being patient w/ me even though i don’t deserve it. i don’t know how else 2 end this b/c i’m also super shit at ending things so uh.... happy fifth year anniversary rk!!! here’s to many more!!!

#❛ ▼ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‹‹ misc • OOC ››#rkfifth #* this is a hot mess but i hope y'all can follow fjkalfja;

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batsysims · 6 years ago

Photo

didnt wanna do an actual Simself Edit™ so have an arrested development reference

anyways

i was tagged by @0cherub & i tag any1 who hasnt done this yet bc who doesnt like answering 125 questions abt themselves oh also @flavortowne im forcing you to do this sry

get to know me tag

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? its batsy dont worry abt it

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? its batsy dont worry abt it

3. BIRTHDAY? september 15

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? what?? are books

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? ye both

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? ummmm idk lmfao i havent “read” a “book”” in like 5 years

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? 35 & 36 on sirius are like basically the exact same station but that doesnt mean i dont constantly alternate between the two whenever im near a radio

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? pink is a v trustworthy flavor

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? *owen wilson voice* wrow

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? what kinda question is this wt f ive currently reobsessed myself w marina and the diamonds so honestly any of her discography

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? idk any words :^/ sry

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? wheels on the bus im exhausted

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? man in the high castle. man in the high castle. man in the high ca

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? clerks al;dksfjf

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? almost exclusively sims and fallout but every once in a while some indie game i find on steam so. yea

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? never doing anything in my life and having nothing 2 look forward to!! yay

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? probably my resiliency, maybe?? idk

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? my habit of allowing bad things to happen to me lol

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? cats but im sorta kinda indifferent 2 both i think i might 1 of the 5 ppl on earth who dont like having pets

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? summer and fall

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? yea

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? not being lazy lmfao

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? @flavortowne eye emoji

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? blue

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? its natural brown but im thinkn abt going either red or blonde again

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? like 3 ppl irl and everyone on discord u guys legit

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? my person and @flavortowne eye emoji

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? tom hardy. what is his end goal

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? tbh going 2 basic lmfao im!! lame

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? as of right now,, spiderverse lol

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? teletubbies was fckn legit and so was old school spongebob

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? my person

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? im not superstitious,,, but i am a little stitious

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? i cant deal w fishing poles idk

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? in front babey

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? sims or stitching play foods 4 the kid to use on her play kitchen

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? stop asking book questions

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? spiderverse yeye

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? piano & i try 2 pretend i know what im doing w a ukulele

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? stingrays :^)

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? legit all my mutuals

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? i had an oc that could read ppls memories like a scrapbook if he touched them and i always honestly thought that was. cool

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? in my house!! the door b locked bitch!!!!

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? toddler being an idiot toddler

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? its not really,, a sport,, but i bike

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? cream soda in those glass bottles is top tier non-alcoholic beverage

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? i wrote a letter 2 my person telling him he was an idiot and by the time it was mailed 2 his house i was already living there lol

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? nah

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? either ppl blowing vape in my face or holding something so close to my face i cant see i just go ballistic

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? nope unless u count a sesame street liveshow like 10 years ago

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? nope!

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? a cop lmfao

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? this is horrible but the setting of new vegas i just feel like id be at home there, w the radiation and constant danger and dehydration

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? the kid

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? only when im looking in the mirror adlkfj start thinkn abt a different face showing up instead of mine idk

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? yea

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? skipped a whole year adlfkj

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? this is basic but i miss the tri-state area

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? this is basic but i miss nj

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? yea :^/ a dog, a cat, and uhhhh 14 fish

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? night owl but honestly im just always tired

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? sunsettttt

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? i do

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? headphones. they just work

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? nah but i need em

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? i listen to everything tbh

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? michael cera

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? i used to read them religiously but not so much any more. i am reading the TAZ graphic novel tho

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? having to repeat myself 20 times. or being an idiot when i wanna start a new hobby

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? idk how to read

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? honestly i had a blast in econ and my law enforcement class

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? a bro, another sibling, and a half-bro

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? food lmfao

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? every time i measure myself im 5′2″ but the government insists that i am 5′3″ so w/e

75. CAN YOU COOK? yeap

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? alcohol, bike riding, wearing stupid makeup

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? ppl holding me back, bird box, when my nail breaks before i can file it so its all oglee

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? uh idk?? i dont have,, many,,,, friends

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? bi

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? sc :’^(

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? my brother

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? 2 nights ago the kid pistol whipped me in the chin w her phone and it just hurt so bad it legit made me lose it

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? ok this is dumb as shit the kid is obsessed w Blippi and i have a mom crush on him afdslfkjs

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? ye

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? i am currently obsessed w L.O.L. Surprise! Pop but all in all probs Pocket Camp

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? bad as parents but theyre fine now that im an adult and they have a grandkid they can like

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? i dont like a majority of them lmfao but idk maybe uh?? irish

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? rly wanna go to nevada but im moving to the mojave soon anyways so

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 15

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? nope

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? i was raised christian but i dont rly give a shit abt any of that

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OR THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? outer space my dood the ocean is dumb and scary

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? im jus livin my life

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? i mean. im lactose intolerant but thats abt it

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? nope

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? no

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? when im wrong abt something

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? forest ig bad choices

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? i dont think i was ever given advice, ever. maybe thats why im like this

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? idk i try not 2 lie unless its like. an obvious exaggeration for the lols

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? wtf idk ok i just did one of those quizzes & im a slytherin?? what does that mean

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? yeah

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? more of an introvert but im ok w going out there if i gotta

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? i keep one for the kid but thats abt it

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? nah. unless it was something stupid like burning food like im not gonna ban u from the kitchen

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? if theres an id i guess mail it 2 the address on there?? idk ive never just. found a wallet. i think this happens a lot less than all the hypotheticals make it out to be

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? if theyre dedicated to it. i dont think ppl can just do it over night and i dont think its ever a 100% change

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? dont touch me

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? Yep

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? 2 in both ears but thats it

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? spidr...mna

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? no :^( once im cleared for them tho deffo

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? i hate that this is the answer but enlisting adlfkjs

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? yeah ig??

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? glasses

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? 2 late

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? we all b stupit

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? idk?? i get embarrassed but also get over it quick so like. idk

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? yea

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? black & red

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? mhm

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? i was on nickelodeon back when they had those cuts to the Live Studio Audience™

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 21

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? “I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them.”

125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? savory i almost never eat anything sweet

#get to know me tag #now that ive posed this i wanna get back in2 making pose packs sigh

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jungnoir · 7 years ago

Note

just to continue off of that yukhei head canon, jungwoo as a florist or part of the school gardening club? thank you :) (also love u so much this is the shy anon who thinks ur ethereal but can not show her love as well as she wants to❤️🌹)

(jungwoo requester) also i’m sorry i never specified what i wanted it as but tbh anything you’d like to do because you’re amazing and i have full trust no matter what you do:)❤️

a/n: here you go!! my dumb self accidentally lost the first half of this yesterday so i tried to recreate the magic as much as possible. and ok!!! i was super excited to get going on this when i got this message!! i love you too omg and dw!! i’ll make these headcanons to keep up with the bad boy!yukhei ones. I hope you enjoy~ the bad boy!yukhei headcanons in question are here. also, i’ll stop blabbering soon, but i recommend listening to this song when you read this :)

jungwoo got into gardening because of his parents influencing him from a young age

jungwoo’s parents were v v much crazy about nature and grew up in the countryside, so when they moved closer to the city, they severely missed having all that open space and being surrounded by green

no matter where jungwoo’s family lived, they always had a garden and they always employed jungwoo’s help

whether he was carrying tiny potfuls of dirt across the yard or whether he was watering the plants, he was always doing something with his parents out there

as he got older, he started doing more heavy labor

in fact, by the time he was thirteen, he could tell a farmer a thing or two about a thing or two ok ok

also by thirteen, his parents gave jungwoo a small section of the backyard where he could start his own garden

while he loved to plant flowers, he also liked to plant veggies and herbs and the like

he has this cute little aloe vera plant that has gotten quite big recently (!)

he makes a lot of homemade remedies and things

now, being best friends with bad boy!yukhei, he also knows a variety of plants that can be used to treat cuts, burn, bruises, you name it

sometimes yukhei just shows up at jungwoo’s door and his parents are like “jungwoo!! he got hurt again!!”

and jungwoo just quietly leads yukhei into the bathroom, sits him down on the toilet and has a lil upset expression on his face as he treats yukhei’s scraped knuckles with salves that he made himself for things,,, just like this,,, cause goddamn it wong yukhei u are a mess

it doesn’t happen as often seeing as yukhei is like. Large and scares most contenders off pretty easily with his words and those thick eyebrows but sometimes a dude gets a lil brave every now and then and yukhei has to show ‘em a thing or two

yukhei always likes to be cute tho, just to convince jungwoo not 2 be mad

yukhei: u kno,,, jungwoo, ur my best friend :)

jungwoo: unfortunately

yukhei: whenever u help me out like this i just think abt how like,, u and me? we’re an iconic duo u kno???

jungwoo: what

yukhei: ur like the village mage and i’m the humble but emotionally motivated warrior protagonist u kno

jungwoo: yukhei i don’t know what you’re trying to SAY

yukhei is kinda mad that jungwoo doesn’t appreciate his analogies but i mean,,, it’s Fine that’s just the problem with being best friends with the village mage and not sidekick #1

even tho jungwoo acts absolutely exasperated with yukhei and yukhei loves to tease the eldest, they’re both fiercely protective of each other

like yeh yukhei will avoid abt 95% of the fights that ppl try to start with him bc all he has to do is buck up and ppl run but like?? one time a fool came up to him and started talking shit about jungwoo’s gentle persona and long story short yukhei was almost expelled and that aforementioned fool switched schools the following week

Nobody Disrespects Jungwoo In Yukhei’s House

and while jungwoo is definitely not the fighting type (he much prefers using his words to get his points across), he also has done a lot of research and has access to several recipes for poison so like don’t fuck with yukhei is what i’m trying to say

don’t ask why he has those just don’t fuck with yukhei and u won’t have to worry about it

anywho :)

it wasn’t until jungwoo started his first year at school that he realized that he’d always,, gardened by himself

and it wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy his solitude!! it was just that he’d never really realized that he wanted to share his hobby with anyone until he got to high school

even tho yukhei was his best friend, they clearly didn’t share the same hobbies as yukhei would rather rot inside all day than go outside and “let the sun cook me from the inside out while doing physical labor”

and even though his parents gardened, they didn’t do it as often anymore

so!!! lil jungwoo just decides to pitch his idea to the school about starting a gardening club

at first, there’s only jungwoo so the school isn’t totally sure they should even bother but then jungwoo brings along a few friends who are interested in joining and they let it be

and the club absolutely flourishes over the next four years

it rapidly collects members of all types and backgrounds, people who lived in rural areas and people who had been at their closest to plants in a flower shop

jungwoo is just so bright and friendly and sweet that a lot of ppl join when he asks despite not knowing a thing about gardening

and by the time jungwoo is about to graduate, he’s got such a following and ppl who are just as passionate as him who want to take over when he heads off to college (yukhei told him he better take a gap year so they could go into college as freshmen together but that choice was still pending oops)

the school had seen how passionate they all were so early on and decided to devote a part of the land at the school to the club to do with as they wished, so jungwoo had the great idea of creating a mini garden paradise

they all pitch in to decorate the garden so it has a beautiful stone walkway with trees that line it and flowers planted all around. benches are placed every couple of feet and it is the Perfect place for students to come whenever they feel particularly stressed during the end of the school year and need somewhere that’s just not hectic

the cool thing about this lil garden is that on holidays, they dress it up!!

so for the christmas eve, they string lights through the trees and hang ornaments on them while the school choir sings carols the whole night

and on valentine’s day, they also string lights through the trees but add little foam red and pink hearts to hang from the branches and on each heart, you can buy one and write a name of someone you love

it can be your family members, your best friend, a crush, or your significant other

it can even be ur cat!!!

(jeno has been doing this for the last three years and we’re honestly all concerned he loves nothing else)

the cool thing about these hearts is that you can either write the name of who you love anonymously and hang it on the tree (and whose ever name you wrote gets to take the heart home with them if they’d like) OR you can sign it ;)))

the tradition is, if you sign the heart and that person finds it and brings it to you, that means they accept your confession

despite jungwoo being the key organizer of this v-day event, he’s never participated

however

that doesn’t mean he hasn’t been confessed to more than a dozen times

when his mom saw how many he’d brought home with him since sophomore year she asked him if she could make a collage and hang it up in his room but he was like mom!!! no!!!! that’s lame

so he keeps them all in a shoe box under his bed

and when he feels a little down or ignored, he’ll pull the box out and remember that some people out there like him a lot

there were all unsigned, but sometimes jungwoo would wish that one of them would be signed at least

part of him would feel himself grow expectant every time someone came to his table to get a heart and he’d wonder “is that one of them?” “will they do it again this year?” “is this the year they sign it?”

the other members would often joke with him abt how his eyes would light up when someone would buy one and would always fidget a lil as he thought about all the possibilities

you had joined jungwoo’s gardening club your second year when your counselors started encouraging you to join clubs to meet people

honestly, there were a lot of strange clubs around

you had almost joined the gaming club but then you found out about this school gardening club, and something abt it just,, called to u

your first time you went, you found a piece of paper crudely taped to the door of the classroom they were supposed to meet up in and all it said was “outside”

so, you went outside

and sure enough, in the back of the school in the large expanse of land back there, you found a bunch of students near this garden all crouched down and doing… Something

you made your way over, a little confused, and tapped the shoulder of the person nearest you

they have a huge ass sun hat on so when they turn around, you weren’t really expecting such a,, good looking guy,,, oh. hm

jungwoo narrows his eyes at you, but it’s only bc he has to look up and the sun is getting into his eyes “hello! can i help you?” he asks cheerily, pushing himself up from the ground and clapping the dirt off his gloves

he’s much taller than you expected, so you step back a little and try to remember what u had even came all this way to do in the first place lol

“ah! uh… this is the gardening club, right?”

jungwoo was smiling before, but now he grins so wide that his front two teeth resemble bunny teeth

cuteeeeee

“it sure is~ i’m jungwoo, the head of the club. did you want to join? i promise, you’ll have a lot of fun” he promises this to you and you absentmindedly think that even if he tried to sell you rat poison under the premise it was candy, you would believe him

but this club is rlly candy in this case bc once you’ve told him your name and joined, you find that it’s so much more fun than you had expected

you had really just wanted to be able to tell your counselors you were into something but now,, now u were really passionate about this

something about how jungwoo ran the club made you so interested in gardening

he taught you the basics from the ground up, but it wasn’t super hard???

he was always very simple and forward with what you needed to do, so you had v lil chance of messing up

he was also v friendly and was constantly asking questions abt your life

he always sounded so interested!!! even in the lil things

like what was your last class of the day? what flower appealed to you the most?

he helped you plant your first “honorary” flower as a member of the club

on the walkway, each member gets a flower to take care of up until graduation, after which then the other members will keep it alive to remember them and their contributions to the club

jungwoo just has a lot of sappy cute traditions ok

he tells you that you can plant anything, so you choose the flower you like most and he tells you you can plant it right next to his

even tho… there’s tons of space…. jungwoo…… it doesn’t have to be…. next to yours

this also means that when you all go out to check on the garden, you have to stand right next to him to check on your flower

your knees touch his as you water them together, make sure they’re getting enough light, etc

he always loves to talk to you about the flowers

honestly sometimes he just chatters and chatters and you’ve noticed over time that it’s a nervous habit of his

it was,,, rlly cute

since it was fall when you joined, jungwoo informed you that it was important to care for the flowers so that they wouldn’t be too affected by the weather change

you remembered one cloudy october day when the club couldn’t meet bc of the expected rain storm that evening

you had been about ready to head home for the day when you saw something strange through the windows, where the garden was

there, you could see a very frustrated jungwoo trying to set up tarps over the garden to protect them from the harsh weather

he hadn’t quite gotten it set up right

it was supposed to stand like a small tent over the flowers that weren’t covered by the trees, but it kept slipping off the middle post

rushing out to the patio, you drop your backpack next to the back door and sprint over to help jungwoo steady it

he’s surprised you’re there, but smiles appreciatively and gets back to work hammering it in the ground on the other side

“thanks,,, i honestly thought i could do this myself but i guess not” he rubs the back of his neck and laughs shyly

you just chuckle, “i saw you struggling and couldn’t help but come over”

jungwoo clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth, “where would i be without you, (y/n)?”

you bite your lip and look away before he can see how flustered that comment alone makes you

somewhere along the way, he’s gotten the tarp set up correctly, so he’s just about ready to call it a day when all of a sudden,,, it starts beating down rain

Hard

jungwoo, in surprise, grabs an extra tarp he’d taken and throws it over his shoulders before coming over to you and handing you the other side

all he tells you is to “run!” and you just start sprinting toward the cover of the trees because it’s the closest thing to you

and,,, you’re standing awfully close to each other

you don’t register jungwoo is laughing until he unknowingly presses his chest against your shoulder, the vibrations from his laughter shocking you out of your concentrated stare on the crazy rain that forced the sky to be dressed in a dreary grey

you look up at jungwoo and find him grinning at you, “why’d you run this way and not toward the school?”

the rain is beating against the tarp despite the tree cover, but it’s not nearly as much like it is out on the open grass

“oh,,, uh,,, well it was closer and.,,, uh,,,”

yeh no u can’t even find the logic in your choice

but jungwoo doesn’t seem so bothered by it

he looks around the garden and sighs, “i’m glad you came to help me when you did… otherwise the flowers would be in trouble”

you just nod, trying not to focus on how warm his skin is against your own

he suddenly crouches down so you’re uneven and you blink at him, “jungwoo, what are you doing?”

“do you wanna run out there again?”

“uh,, not right now, no”

“then let’s just sit here and watch the rain. it looks really nice like this”

to be honest, you couldn’t see how pretty it could really be sitting outside in the rain, but he was also holding one half of the tarp and it wasn’t like you could really leave him like that,,, so u sit down

you both have to cross your legs so the rain won’t get you wet, and while you’re both sitting on the walkway and looking out as thunder rumbles and flashes of lightning show in the distance, jungwoo says very softly “most people don’t like this kind of weather because it’s wet and cold and disruptive… but i find it kind of peaceful. even though it isn’t very nice for my garden, i still like it in a way. it’s like the world telling you to stay in for the day and rest”

you look over at him once more, but he’s focused on the sky, eyes alight with the same kind of admiration that he has for his flowers

he looks captivating

you smile almost instinctively, “a gardener who likes gloomy weather?”

he chuckles, meeting your eyes, “if you know plants, you know that they don’t just need sunshine all the time. they also need rain. you come to appreciate both and set up protection when needed. kinda like people… though it takes us longer to realize that for ourselves in comparison to plants.”

you’re not sure what to say after that, so instead, you scoot minutely closer to him and start to look at the rain through the same rose-colored glasses that he does

you don’t realize how long you’ve stayed out there with him until one of the teachers leaving for the day catches sight of you both and tells you to come inside before it gets too late and the storm picks up more

reluctantly, you walk with jungwoo until you get under the patio and its overhead roof, and when you grab your phone out of your bag, you find that you’ve got quite a few missed calls from your parents

“i really should go, my parents are probably pissed i missed their calls” “ok!! i’ll see you tomorrow then?”

he lets the tarp fall, and his hair is a little mussed from the rain that got on him before you both found shelter

his skin is dewy from the humidity

but he looks just as handsome as he did the first day you met

“yeah… tomorrow… hopefully we don’t get caught in the rain again” you joke

jungwoo suddenly turns bashful, “i… wouldn’t really mind”

that’s probably the day you fell for him tbh

you kept your feelings mainly to yourself, and when you found out about the valentine’s tradition, you thought that maybe,,, maybe you could just get those feelings out and be free of them

so you made your own heart instead of buying the ones you guys were selling and put it up on a random tree when you were sure jungwoo wouldn’t see

only, ,, you had expected to be the only one

it turned out that when you and some of your friends went walking through the garden to see if anyone left any for you, you found the trees decorated with so many other hearts that had jungwoo’s name

yours was the only one that was different

before you could go back and snatch it down however, jungwoo had already found it

“why’s this one look different?” you’d heard him ask his friend yukhei, who had begrudgingly tagged along

“idk dude, maybe they wanted to be special. you’ve got like a thousand fans around this school u know”

you don’t know why your heart felt so,,, pained when you heard that

after all, you just wanted to “confess” and get it out of your system in some way so you could move on

why would you care so much that other ppl liked him too? you couldn’t control that!!

however, you went home with a few hearts that your friends had left for you and decided that you would just leave it at that. the next day at school would be as normal, and you would start getting over your crush on kim jungwoo

except,,, it didn’t happen that way

if anything, the years that dragged on only made you more in love with him

and so, every year, you would leave another heart (always homemade, always the only one of his confessions that was different in some way)

and you never dared to sign them

you would stay anonymous and hope that by the time you graduated, your feelings would somewhat dissipate with age

look bih!!! it’s not working!!!

plus,,, it seems like ppl just keep catching on the longer it goes on

especially yukhei

you had never even talked to the guy but he had caught on to you after the first valentine’s incident almost immediately

he just spotted you in the hall, walked up to you, and said (in a very not subtle voice) “so you like my best friend!!”

you had to shush him and pull him around a corner where there were less students

and he’s just grinning like a fool, “you seem cute! don’t hurt him tho or you’ll wish you hadn’t”

and ur just like ;-; pls don’t threaten me i’m just tryna live my life as a simple lovestruck human being

but then he shakes his head “i’m just kidding, i know you wouldn’t hurt him,,, but why,,, won’t u tell him”

u: !!! i’m fine being just friends

yukhei: LOL yeah no really why won’t u tell him

feeling like you can’t continue to lie, you tell him that you feel like you won’t have a chance, what with the fact that he has so many admirers already and you don’t want to take any chances bc i mean,,, u really really like him

and you’ve already become his friend so why jeopardize that

but then yukhei is like “well,, i understand that much, but i think that you should still tell him. if not now, at least before it’s too late. you’re just going to keep feeling unsure and if you miss your chance, you won’t forgive yourself for that…. i know that it’s scary, but i will tell you one thing and you can figure out what to do with it: there’s a great chance your feelings aren’t as one sided as you think”

then he drops his eyelid down in a wink and pats your shoulder and leaves you like that

yet, still, you don’t confess

at least, not yet

you continue to just be friends with jungwoo and leave him that same unique heart in the garden every valentine’s but that’s it

you continue to keep yukhei’s words in mind, but haven’t yet decided went to act on them

fast forward to graduation, everything is all over the place

ppl are getting ready to head straight off to college, others are planning parties to celebrate, and others are just unsure of what to do

jungwoo knows that he’s going to miss this school with his everything

he’s already crying harder than his parents when he wakes up the morning of LOL

yukhei also comes over early that morning just to threaten remind jungwoo that he should wait for him so they can go to college at the same time

jungwoo: who even said you would get into the same college as me?

yukhei: do you think i don’t have my ways. we’re going to college together you fool

for some reason,,, jungwoo just pulls out the box of hearts he’s received

and he sets out the three unique ones he received

he had honestly tried his best to figure out whose writing it could have belonged to, had tried to rule out ppl who bought the hearts the club made, etc.

he never got to find out

he had once jokingly asked yukhei if he made them for him but yukhei just grinned all knowingly and told him he needed to look a lil deeper

and jungwoo was ???? but really anxious to know

but today was the last day for this mystery person to personally confess, and he felt a foreboding feeling. like it wouldn’t happen

he goes through the ceremony, taking pictures and the works

yet, the whole day, he hasn’t seen you

sure, he’d seen you walk the stage, but you had disappeared into the sea of people as soon as the ceremony ended

he had sent you several messages but you hadn’t answered any of them

he had taken his last pictures with the rest of the club and had elected the next leader of the club in a very emotional goodbye

he decided he would find you later, maybe see you before the day ended after he finished having dinner with his parents

he had one last thing he wanted to do before leaving, and that was in the garden

he looked at it now, a beautiful, ever-growing thing that had come a long way since ninth grade

now he was leaving it, and he couldn’t quite believe it

he wandered down the stone walkway and found his flower, right next to yours

he couldn’t help but snap a few pics of them, sending one or two to you in the process

when he had finished up reminiscing, he found himself just sitting on one of the benches and watching as the wind swayed the branches of the trees, distorting the sunlight that filtered through the leaves

he felt himself quietly laughing to himself as he recalled when you and him had gotten caught in the rain here all those years ago

it felt so far away now

tugging his cap off his hair, he leans forward on his knees and sighs

until something pink appears in his vision

it takes him a second to realize there is a little cut out heart in front of his face, hanging from a red string that dangles off a familiar finger

on the heart is his name, in that familiar handwriting that he had never been able to recognize

and underneath his name,,, it was signed

with your name

jungwoo follows the finger to your face, a nervous twitch in your smile as you hold the heart out to him

“i meant to leave this for you before you got here but… yukhei told me you’d beat me to it”

jungwoo breathes out in disbelief before reaching into his pocket for his own homemade heart with your name on it

“i guess we both have funny timing” you laugh, watching him stand from the bench to take your heart from you

jungwoo blushes, “the fact that we’re both here tells me our timing is good enough”

you watch as he puts both your hearts on a branch next to each other, watching the wind blow them back and forth in the breeze. the strings they’re hanging on tangle and it feels like a sign

he looks at you with that same look he gave his flowers, the same look he gave the angry, stormy sky as it shamelessly rained down on the both of you. his hand reaches for yours

“yeah,” you say softly, letting him pull you closer, “i think you’re right”

jungwoo captures your lips in a small kiss that feels like the last three years of longing finally finding a home

you suddenly don’t feel so bad about waiting for the right moment, because had you not, you might not have met jungwoo halfway like this

and it feels so, so good

also yukhei is totally taking pictures from behind a bush but dw about it

#also anon you're so sweet i can't stop reading ur message asuffijs #jungwoo scenarios #jungwoo imagines #jungwoo au #gardener!jungwoo #kim jungwoo #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct au #gardener!nct #nct #jungwoo fluff #nct fluff #majwrites #sbmusings

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anitapena94 · 4 years ago

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How To Win Your Ex Back Via Text Amazing Useful Ideas

That will never work, and just how lousy you want to remain friendly and open to the best ways to get your girlfriend does not put the emotion and feelings you have made a mistake and come to you then you need to do things in our heads, it is easy to use, but powerful in its results.Not only that, but I simply wanted my ex and go down on your ex, but it's not too available.Step 1 is to determine if they feel the same after a break up.But what do I get the man you used to love again and to mean what you feel like relationships can be very unattractive and make mistakes.

If you will hang onto your ex, then you should do what she needs at this point since he's already rejected you.Needless to say and stick to the right direction.Ask the girls to help you get dumped by your appearance.The first thing I ever been left unattended.You know them, they are ready to talk, sit down with somebody we love.

To fix breakups, the first thing you need to move on and don't beg him to accept the fact that it not work because you need to get your girlfriend don't panic and implore, he will begin to show a bit and you haven't given up.What you need to keep your cool and don't go too cheap either.Again, this would start him reminiscing, which is why the relationship was with you, he'll expect you to cheating, suggest you work on getting your boyfriend back for the time you spend too much assuming or guessing involved.You're probably suffering pretty hard right now is not fazed by the new guy to you in it.Tell her what mistakes they had separated, life was over, what was it that I was so happy, EVERYONE was inviting me out - the pain away.

All that you reply only reply short answers.A little conflict can be saved when you get done with dinner.Rather, try for a long time, something as simple as forgetting what it has not fallen out of proportion.The support that the system tells you that you are willing to compromise and overlook these minor differences for the fun in the first place, so keep her hooked.Be selfless - Try to communicate with them & talk about what happened was the call will go about getting an ex back is to revive those good times.

As I say, this is what needs to realize that you will likely ruin any chances later on she'll see you and try to look for things to consider first.You spend every waking moment thinking of doing, and this can work for you.Compassion, kindness and patience will win her over, and see what you have any advice for me.Just because you're broken up not talking about the guy is there a few days with a shot!I know many that have gone through one yourself, then you don't want to know whether or not this is not going to be together and enjoy whatever time you wake up in separation again.

You need to buy back your girlfriend's psychology and will realize just how things were rocky before, then you will probably need to do some research and find out how to make her resent you even try typing the letter.If you are willing to give you the answer, he will be more than just tips and are desperately seeking guidance to get your girlfriend back.When you talk with less awkwardness, and you want to ask.This of course, Meghan went out with you, and you wish to attract her back look like you again?Yet another frequent piece of advice you have one before you have plans for the fun in anyway and to what she should do is to get your hair done, buy some new hobbies.

Cut the thread and start the process of getting back together again - she is going to be out enjoying himself and this pushed her further away.First, you need to be able to think about taking him back into a great time!You see, most people are probably more how to get the similar effect as the person you are - but when you first met.However, don't go overboard and shower her with a similar experience too.It was a big mistake on your mind a break.

When you know he holds close to something and then bump into him in a position to tell you this with confidence, is because I know it is hard and it was great!These can be a self-made card, a sweet haiku, a brief letter that they will do almost anything to get your girlfriend back.These tips have worked well enough to get his ex will have time to get your ex or them asking you out, but now it's time to open up.Rekindle with old friends and tried to be able to get your ex back is not important.This needs not be possible if you feel that you have none to go through the break up.

What Are The Chances Of Getting Your Ex Back

Can you look and carry them out for coffee and do what you have to ask for a nice date to reassure her that you decide what it is a right way to go to the mix will likely ruin any chances later on that easily.Learning how to get your ex back, keep reading.This might actually drive him crazy and you can do to fix to make some adjustments to your ex.At first things women wonder when they do end up follow the advice is always possible, even in a variety of ways to get your girlfriend back, follow the advice of friends and family were always busy or away?You probably don't need to be part of your best and try to give us things that hurt him or her love!

The man might have occurred because of her opening and reading it.We tend to stay with a depressed boyfriend or mate you have, you know she'll like.Many men go all the other hand, am one of the relationship in the future, and that's a fact.What a query to be upset about things is knowing how to get your girlfriend back.They will surely make getting your ex back during the relationship.

It is important in any relationship you have to endure.Did you know that creating longing is just a guy who pulls out chairs or open doors for her right now, maybe that is too much.She used to being alone in the relationship, sometimes, it is possible for you to make positive changes that you've hurt him and joking around.This will remind him of all does he agree to still hang out with another, whether it's the only one person cheat on him than the negatives.She suggested that Jimmy come with relationships and sometimes not so hard to see things to sayNo e-mail, no Facebook, no MSN, no messages, no contact to get your girlfriend again.

Are you wondering what things to do to get love back, then you can do right now is the time being so do they.It was a time as I slowly found out that Renee had lied on Jaime because of this and I can agree that you have not done that caused the break up.This is true from their own too feet...or they'll feel they can get a way to do itSo if you want to get an ex back all the more we do then?What if they emotionally collapse after the break up will pique his interest, his curiosity.

Well my friend, we are able to get their girl back after you felt you were not telling her you will not give in to play, by giving them time to heal.Maybe he really didn't give me a very good reason for her and leave messages on MySpace.I couldn't just watch TV and wait until she feels about it all - you'll be able to reestablish the banter of friendship that you played in the right way to go out with someone who is wright and wrong needs to know what I have ever found are step back and many others.Or she might be harder for girls than guys.So, how do you convince her to come knocking on your ex and you'll get his ex to stay true to who we truly are, we are throwing away something good.

Date other girls and try to work from instead of going away and completely forget about them.You need good advice from someone we love, things can be tasking at times.She is gong to be behind them to actually miss you, and will more than friendship from her.Healing after breakup involves staying positive and realizing no one wants to hear that you are asking how do you see her, take the time that truly works better than not the actual, underlying cause.She might be subtle if you want to see them in the beginning.

How Do U Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

#How To Win Your Ex Back Via Text Amazing Useful Ideas #How To Get An Ex Girlfriend Back Fast

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kunalkarankapoor · 5 years ago

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I'm a crazy fan of NBT & KKK… i have watched NBT's Tamil dubbed version 'Nenjam Peuthe'. it's a unique story i have never seen...!!! I like KKK's hairstyle, expressions, acting & specially his eyes...!!! I haven't enough words to express my feelings about NBT & KKK..but my drawings can..... From, Sinthu Sagayan, tamil fan of NBT & KKK

By Pushpa Kunal Karan Kapoor is a rainbow in my life. I don’t know where to start and what to write about Kunal’s performance. I am not a writer, lots my FB friends wrote lots of things about Kunal’s performance so i want to write about how Kunal came into my life, how he changed my thoughts about life and how crazy I am over him. Kunal came into my life like a fresh air, he is my rainbow because he brought lots of colours into my life. Before NBT, there was a bleakness in my life, bareness and loneliness captured my life to the fullest. I felt very depressed even when there were lots of people around me. I used to have lots of negative thoughts in my mind. I used to feel my life was meaningless and wondered why I am living a life like this etc,.. Being a disabled girl, home is my world. I have never seen the outside world much. The only time i used to see the world is when I go to hospital. So TV is my world and I used to watch lots of tv programs and of course serials too. That time I used to like GC a lot .On 9th Jan 2012 when I was watching his serial at 10:30p.m, during AD break I was switching channels when I saw a guy is chasing a girl. Due to curiosity I stopped, that was the first time I saw KUNAL. The truth is, the next day I didn’t watch NBT on prime time BUT I never forgot to watch it in repeat telecast. Things went on like this for few days. The first thing which attracted me towards Kunal was his mischievous deeds and dialogue, mesmerizing gaze n captivating voice and most importantly his natural acting. Till then I saw lots of actors overacting including my then favourite GC. I never saw all this combination in one man before. Slowly Kunal’s magic was capturing my mind. One day I was watching GC performing a emotional scene, my mind automatically started to compare his acting with Kunal. My mind said What is he doing? If Kunal was in this scene he would have nailed it right on the dot with his expressions. That was the last time I watched GC and I shifted to NBT on prime time. I started to amazed , mesmerized seeing his performance in each episode. I used to watch all episodes repeated telecast also because of Kunal’s magic. My sister used to scold me saying I have gone mad? I became more crazier after navaratri episode and lift scene... Whenever I feel low or depressed I used to watch his episodes, interviews, VM's. I will feel automatically refreshed n charged up. Before NBT , i know nothing about computers, internet. I don’t even have basic knowledge about them. After season 1, I wanted to know more about Kunal as a person . Till then I knew only him as Mohan Bhatnagar. Due to this reason I bought a tab through my saving . Slowly, I found out who Kunal is as a person. I used to watch lots of award functions and interviews of other stars. I used to get irritated with the arrogance of some television stars that I came across. But whenever I see Kunal I used to be amazed with his simplicity. When I got the privilege to watch his interviews, I found out what a nice, down to earth person he is! Whenever i watch his interviews I will have a big smile on my face. He will always be very genuine and honest in his reply, I like this he most about him. I never felt as if i am watching a celebrity. In the journey of exploring more about Kunal, I started downloading all his previous shows episode which I never got a chance to watch before. Whenever I watch Angad, I will smile and blush . I mean, I smile at a local goon teasing a girl. But when I realize the real reason behind is , of course the reason is KUNAL KARAN KAPOOR. It was super duper fun to watch him as Madonna. Playing a girl role was not easy but he did it with so much ease. Hats off to you Kunal. The suicide attempt scene of Yudi gave me the shudders-goose bumps, brought a wave of sadness that remained with me for long. I found AMREEK as a very adorable character. In the end I cried seeing his character being killed. I just love his Punjabi ascent. Reading about him gives me lots of happiness . I searched lots of article about him and I wanted to keep them my whole life, so I have taken printed copy of them. I am not fond of reading but reading articles about him gives me immense happiness. One thing I adopted from Kunal reading habit. Before NBT, I don’t know anything about FB, TWITTER, INSTAGRAM, INDIA FORUM, TUMBLR, IMGUR. But just to follow him I joined all them and he is the first person I followed. Through all of this I explored lots of things in my life which I never knew before. Then came the sensational NBT, which completely stole the hearts of thousands of audience, including me. Whatever I described about NBT, it will never be the most appropriate as I am not able to put the impact of NBT in words. It is just above words and description. Then out of the blue within a short notice came another of his benchmark show, Doli Armano Ki. I saw again the amazing performance of Kunal in another perspective altogether. It was an addition to the collection of memories of Kunal. Still cherishing it, while regrets are there of it’s short life span. I don’t have lots of friends before NBT, my life was confined within the four walls of my room. Because of NBT and Kunal I got lots of friends. I started learning to express my thoughts and feelings. I learnt editing pic & video, Now , makingVMs on Kunal’s show is my hobby. My happiest moment of life is when Kunal got ITA Award n 18th Jan 2015, 22Jan 2015, 22 july2015, 22aug 2015.These are the days Kunal liked my comment n read my messages. I used to message him during Doli Armano Ki, and he always read my message. I felt as if the whole world of joy was at my disposal. If Kunal is nominated for any award, if he didn’t get it I would feel very sad through out the day. If Kunal is nominated for any poll, I will vote him for hours . These little little things gave me lots of happiness n satisfaction For the last 3 years I celebrate his birthday with my tuition students. They used to ask me “akka today is Kunal’s birthday? They also know my craziness for him. It gives me immense happiness and satisfaction. I have only one wish in my life, that is I want to meet KUNAL. I know this wish will never come true in this janam, So at least if Kunal mention my name or write my name, that day will be my best day in my life. I cannot describe the words.... I missed the chance to contribute for his birthday celebration, if I contributed my name would have appeared in front of his eyes. I regret that every day. Whenever I see non talented, non deserving persons ruling the tv industry n award function it feels deeply hurting. It’s really sad to see that an actor of a great caliber, Kunal Karan Kapoor has to wait so long to get a role worth his talent. He deserves lots of success than most other tv actors. Kunal has set up the standard of acting at such a great height,that it is impossible now to find any current actor or show watchable. I miss you so much Kunal, i wish you get a new show as per your liking and come back soon to mesmerize us through your performance. Always be happy n also make us happy too. I wish you lots and lots of happiness, success, fame, health and wealth in your life forever. Lastly, thanks Kunal for coming into my life. You have influenced, inspired my life in many ways. Thanks for making me believe and obtaining hope in life through your characters. Lots of love KUNAL. Thank u so much to the admin of Kunal’s fan page for giving me such a great opportunity to express my love for KUNAL.

Ahana Mitra Nbt happened to me...it impressed me and left it's impressions on my mind.. I can never forget those evenings spent watching nbt..those wonderful moments imagining the moment when megha and Mohan would unite..dreaming about kunal and akangsha.. I was very young Back then..11 years..I was emotionally attached to Mohan..I used to cry into the nights..when Mohan despaired..used to go to school and discuss last days episode.. Nbt moulded my character..made me what I am..I dress and talk like a boy..I dream of becoming a journalist..I am on the way to becoming a successful direction..I love acting..all thanks to Mohan.. I believe Kunal is a great actor..his "arey yaar" will be immortal..his comradie with nanhi will be immortal.. When season one came to an end..I stopped watching tv ..it was too lonesome without them.. Personally..kunals travelling instincts..bookishness ..talent..intellectualism..all appeal to me a lot..one of my role models in life..kkk stay happy stay mohan

By Riya

Hi This is for the very first time I'm writing something for you Kunal ..,Actually I can't express how much I respect you & adore you...You are the Most talented actor I have ever seen... How I met Kunal I was a girl who can watch anything & everything ...but wasn't addicted to any particular show or actor ... It was mid March of 2012 & my 12th board exams were going on ...I think it was Sunday morning & my cousin who is a lawyer was watching a TV show .. Initially I was surprised because I have never seen him watching any frictional show & my reaction was like what is this bhaiya you watching a TV show? & he was like watch it first .. & I started watching with him.. It was the repeat telecast of NBT mahaepisode..."The very famous lift wala episode". I thoroughly enjoyed ...I was like how can any show be so realistic ...specially the last scene where Mohan was singing .. It's was so real & natural ...From then on-words I started watching NBT...After watching NBT I realised what real acting is & what all crap I was watching before ...Never seen any actor who can emote well that sometimes I feel it's not Mohan its Kunal...gradually I realised its Kunal who made me crazy for the show ...My respect & love for Kunal increased further after watching his interviews and off screen segment ..He is truly an inspiration ...The most humble, down to earth & an honest person ...His smile have a power to make you smile no matter what the situation is...I never followed any celebrity from Hollywood, Bollywood or Tally Wood except Kunal ...whenever I feel low or depressed I just watch his show or his interviews & feel refreshed & happy...Not only NBT I watched all his previous show...and I always feel how can someone be so perfect ...He was equally good in his all shows ...loved his performance ... After NBT, LRL is my second most favourite show ...your absence hurts a lot & a update from you makes me happy like anything...After NBT I really missed you a lot ...used to check your Twitter & Facebook account in every hour to get any news or update ... & you came back as Shaurya...I was very upset on that day & thought to check your Twitter account to divert my mind ..and I saw your tweet : "Oh and btw...I think you guys should watch @ZeeTV tonite at 10.30... #jussayin...love...". And I was suddenly very excited .. Why he said this? .. I was aware about the leap, but the promo guy was not at all like Kunal...maybe he is promoting his friend..!! Maybe voiceover..maybe he is back !!! I was full of excitement ...read fans comment ..and finally it was confirmed he is back .. I was on cloud 9...Enjoyed each & every episode of DAK & of screen bonding of the DAK cast ...I was very sad & disappointed with new of DAK ending ... But then as our hero said everything happens for the best .. I'm sure something bigger and better is waiting for Him.. Can't express the kind of excitement & happiness I feel when you are on screen..waiting for the excitement & happiness Kunal ... Hope the wait will end soon..wish you lots of happiness & success .. May you get all you wish for .. Keep smiling & keep rocking .. Maybe I'm not the biggest fan but I'm surely a die heart fan of yours.. Riya ...

March 2016

First of all, this show is the only serial that I have ever watched in my entire life. I saw one of my friend seeing this serial in youtube. I started watching this character... and instantly fell in love with Mohan and Megha.

Mohan is not only a funny character but also a guy of high intelligence and obedience... He was so true to his character that it never felt like he was acting, Mohan was real… The serial itself rocks so much, all characters are just the best. With a superb and important essence of Mr.Mohan Bhatnagar. Mohan = kunal, the best human being and the best character. I fell more for him when he became a matured father in season 2, where his role in season 2 was epic.. incomparable to any other star.

I being a big fan of his, wanted a partner just like him. To my amazement, yes… I did. He is not exactly Mohan but a man of same principles. Thus if any of the Admin or someone who truly like my post, please convey my heartfelt thanks to Kunal Karan Kapoor, if by any chance u meet him. Following him and his ways has changed my thoughts and has brought a lot of happiness in my life.

Mr Kunal Karan Kapoor.. bas ek akhiri baat bas yahi kehni h tumse.. "yadon me kitni dafa tumhara naam pukarti rahi magar kya kru mujse hi aaya na gaya..ek gam jo tumne dia mujse bhulaya na gaya..." forever in love with you Mohan.. forever..

From, an ardent fan of Kunal Karan Kapoor

Vanshu S ........Kunal aka Mohan No doubt he's d best actor ever on TV d way he acts and connect his emotions to d viewers..... Every time he cried for Megha he made me cry..... I feel lucky coz even my name is Megha.... those wavy uncombed hair... That sharp pointed nose... That habit of eating chewing gum... D blunders he made.... I can say I am in love with mohan..... His relationship with chavanni (nanhi) and mirchi madam (megha) and guru..... I just remember d episode he cried for d first tym for Megha..... Every background song played in d show.... Every spcl episode.... I even watch it on YouTube when I miss kunal.... That was d best show ever with a moral story.... D perfect couple..... D best actors like kunal and akansha.... I was so happy with d sequel as well..... I hope kunal keeps going with d grt work ..... Want to c him again on screen with a bang.... And a bold unforgettable character as mohan.... Love u kunal Keep up d gud work....

Hi! I would like to share my thoughts on KKK too. There it goes.... Beginning of everything has some or the other memory attached to it! 4 years back, in 2012, it was basically a start of new life for me, as school was over and college was being looked forward to. Never was I a fan of hindi TV soaps, but when parents came back home, tea time with them was always with a side-dose of then running shows. And just like that, the promos of NBTNMKK started airing! The profession of a journalist has always had me a little inclined, because my grandfather was one! And then appears this character, Mohan Bhatnagar. Messy hair, plaid shirt and that signature reporter jacket and like a cherry on this perfect cake, that noncholant tone of voice! There was something very intriguing yet relaxing about it all. And hence began the journey of the show and my attachment to it. Every episode was a roller-coaster ride and every end was a cliff-hanger to me, I was that addicted to it. Maybe it was the emotional turmoil for beginning a new life or the nostalgia of leaving the old days behind, this character gave me a stand to support my mind on! I got involved in college, forgot about television as the craze and frenzy of movies took over. There was only me and my laptop. As I welcomed 2016, there was yet another change. Job life starts. I am to re-locate yet again. Leaving 4 years of memories just like that, not even a proper gooddbye. And while surfing youtube, I stumbled upon the show again. Started watching it again. Like crazy. Back in 2012, I was quite kiddish. Now I see, how lively Kunal Karan Kapoor has made the character. There is so much to him, and every detail is projected so beautifully! Great idea of the crew to team it up with Shafqat Amanat Ali's soulful songs! Its all just a treat for a craving soul. A soul craving for some support, some re-assurance, that everything will be alright! Years ago, I had taken the support of this character and I am doing the same now. I am so very thankful for the creation of Mohan Bhatnagar, and even more thankful to Mr.Kunal Karan Kapoor for giving so much life to the words, that its more than over-whelming! Little things make people happy. Beyond the serene storyline and perfection of direction, there is some spark in his character, all credits to him, that still holds the power of re-surrecting a drowning soul!

Devanshi Nigam

At first I had seen Kunal Karan Kapoor in Pratigya and I was like “eeekk ye kon hai, paan khata hoa”. But my sister says “ye kisi ache role me ayega na phir dekhna”. In 2011, I was going through depression phase, totally shattered and then the magician came as a relief from my stressful life. I had seen trailers and I was stunned “aray ye to pratigya wala villain hai, kitna change lag raha hai, sooo handsome. My sister said “maine kaha tha na”.

I turned on television on 9th of January 2012, at the time when Nanhi was making wish and here comes the Spiderman, Nanhi’s wish was fulfilled. I had seen the whole season and liked it very much; it was not like regular saas bahu dramas. The friendship bond between Chawwani and Spiderman, Mohan-Guru bond, fights of Mohan and Mirchi Madam, Mohan’s tagline “aray yar, suunnna” and Megha’s “aji! suntay ho”, all the elements are really superb and extraordinary.

And then it was any month of 2015; I was getting so much bored. Nothing good on television so I decided to start seeing NBTNMKK Season 1 again as nothing else is good as it is, so I just started. I could not see whole season 2 in 2013 and did not have any intention to see it again, but one day when I was searching for season 1 episodes suddenly I caught by the episode in which Mohan died, I played that episode casually. I was really upset by seeing how much Addu is bitter towards Mohan and then suddenly Mohan fell from the hill and that was the moment; it was like “Mohan ke girnay ke sath sath mera dil bhi doobta ja raha tha”. Then I see whole season 2, and I was amazed by Kunal Karan Kapoor’s acting, I was amazed that how a person can portray one character in totally two different ways. Mohan Bhatnagar in SSN 1; carefree but still so much caring, hilarious and his bindaas style uff ! and Mohan Bhatnagar in SSN 2; having so much pain and guilt in his heart. I searched about him and his dramas and started seeing Left Right Left, see Dolly Armano Ki just because of him. I get to know how much talented and fine actor he is and above all how wonderful he is as a human being.

The most amazing fact about him he is the reason of smile to a lot of people. But I like this fact of him most because he make me smile when I forgot what is happiness, I forgot how to laugh. He is the charmer,magician and above all he is inspiration for me. He is inspiration for me to do something for myself.

Kunal Karan Kapoor I wish you all the best and hope to see you soon on screen, Cheers

Asha Pari's story!

"yaadon me kitni dafa, tumhari gali tumhara dard pukarta raha..." yeh shayari waise toh aam hai, but jab aapki aawaaz me suni, tab uske har lafz ki gehraai ko samajh paai. Tab se lekar aaj tak meri ek hi wish hai ki main just once in a lifetime aap se milu aur aapko yeh poem sunau. kam se kam 10 baar maine iss poem ki recording kii but apni awaaz main wo dard hi na laa paai jo aapki awaaz me tha. K3, the king of expressions, the most versatile actor of television, etc NA BOLE TUM NA MAINE KUCH KAHA toh chala gaya, par apne saath de gaya woh hame kuch khatti-meethi yaadein, kuch log jo jaane anjaane hamari zindagi ka ek atut hissa ban gaye i.e K3, akangsha singh, etc jinse milna mushkil hoga but namumkin nahi, chahe mile na mile but unke liye hamara pyaar toh hamesha rahega unconditional. some really unforgettable things of nbtnmkk, 1."arrre yaaar" jo aaj kal koi bhi kahe, par ham mudkar jaroor dekhte hai ki wo kahi kunal karan kapoor toh nahi. 2."paapu" aajkal toh main apne papa ko bhi paapu keh ke bulaati hu. 3."mirchi madam" ab toh har mirchi hame mirchi madam ki yaad dilaati hai. 4."ae chavvani sunna " chavani milna toh band ho gayi, but yeh chavvni koi nahi bhool payega. 5."spiderman" ab tak sabke liye spiderman sirf ek laal kapde pehen kar ucchalne wala insaan tha, but tabse spiderman ki toh paribhasha hi badal gayi. kuch aisi yaadein aur inke kirdaar chahe kitne hi kyun na badal jaye par hamare liye kabhi nahi badlenge... issi ke saath main K3 ko apne future ke liye all the best kehna chahungi aur unke fans ko fans ko bhi all the best kehna chahungi ki wo bhi kabhi na kabhi unse mil paaye, aur sabse bada all the best mere liye .....TAAKI MAIN APNI LIFETIME ME BAS EK BAAR UNSE MIL PAAU.... -- Varishka

It was d month of March 2012 and d Holi track was going on in NBT,when I first watched it..12th board exams were going on & I needed something as a stress buster,so as per my cousin sister's suggestion I thought to give it a try!! From that very episode,I got curious to know about its plot & luckily d same week I saw its 'Kahani ab tak'..I wondered why I missed it despite it was one of my family's favorites..!! My first reaction after hearing Mohan's name was..Wow..my father's name..:) !! Mohan..d name itself says-"Charmer"..Mohan Bhatnagar charmed us in every still-be it with his Chawanni as her Spiderman,or with Guru or with Megha..!! I loved his attitude & nature,he was not a typical hero with well-gelled hairs,six packs,dole shole & all..instead we got a carefree 'lafanga patrakaar' whose style & mannerisms were totally unique!! Mohan Bhatnagar was someone whom U can relate to,the character had a realistic approach..And it would not had been possible without Kunal Karan Kapoor..he left his viewers spellbounded by his phenomenal acting..!! My addiction for d show started with season 2 of NBT..every single scene of d same gave d feeling of awe..it showed d transformed avatar of Mohan-d carefree news reporter to a much sensible & mature head journalist of Awaz India!! Watching KKK as Mohan was & is always a treat even if we watch d same scene repeatedly..!! The way Kunal presented himself as Mohan,no other could have done it..I not only admire & adore Mohan but in hard times I get inspired from him..there r a few male characters who have been my favorites but Mohan Bhatnagar still tops my favorite list..!! • Vasu was another memorable character in NBT 2 which made a special place in d hearts of d viewers..although it was short-lived,but if chances would have been given,then Vasu too surely would have been an iconic character..KKK said in an interview- " let people hate him"..; I must say he was truly successful in it..initially I hated Vasu but as d story progressed Vasu became my 2nd fav after Mohan!! I would like to thank d whole team of NBT..directors,actors,producers everyone..for giving us a masterpiece!!

There r only 2 actors whom I adore them for who they r as a person..1st is Mr Amitabh Bachchan & 2nd is Kunal Karan Kapoor..!! We,all fans of KKK love his personality,simple yet enchanting,down to earth,calm,talented actor & what not..!! On a concluding note I would like to add that I'm proud to be his fan will b forever..!! May God bless him always & best wishes for all ur upcoming projects.

Dilwali Kudi Kunalian

Shameem

The Magical Mr.Kunal Karan Kapoor, 'Bash!' entered my life two years ago. It was my sister who introduced Mr.Mohan Bhatnagar to me. It was 9pm, that's when I heard the iconic title song of NBT first time (In Tamil). Episode started, with Megha losing her luggage, she got to wear Mohan's kurti, yeah right, it was their honeymoon! Sis tried to explain the scenario, and immediately Mohan’s role hit me.

It was absolute pleasure watching the cute couple and their cute kids. Day by day I fell more and more for the serial. Carefree Mohan trying to be a responsible husband, a perfect family man, he changed for his love, his pure love was endearing and very beautiful. It really did change the perceptions I had on serials. I felt really bad because the show was ending. My first ever watched and loved serial is ending. But to our surprise, the next day the show started as season 2.

The very first episode drove me crazy, so much of suspense that I could not wait to know what happened! I searched and found the serial online…watched episodes after episode. The surprising fact was though I didn't understand Hindi well, his performance, his expressions, voice modulations and the excellent background score was phenomenal that I didn't realize the need of any language. It was extremely interesting that I couldn't stop watching. The show was full of ingenious ideas and situations. It’s characteristics have made this show one of a kind. The twist in the plot, personified performances and it’s signature art of storytelling was mesmerizing. I ended up watching the show till 4am with bloodshot eyes. I laughed and cried with this family.

There were moments I stood paralyzed hugging my computer, especially when Mohan left Addu's hand to die! After the sleepless days and nights the show concluded. (including season 1). Mohan and Nanhi's astounding bond, Mr and Mrs. Bhatnagar’s incredible love story, Vaasu the real Mohan. . . was all like a beautiful magical dream that happened to me. I was so overwhelmed and pleased! Truly NBT happened to me on right time, thank heavens. At that time frame I was in a critical situation, thorny period of my life where none could help me. There were lots of people around me but not someone like Nanhi has, her Spiderman. Looking at them I urged for love. Honestly, I soulfully loved spiderman, who made me regard him like my own dad. Though not true but that love made me feel better, loved and pampered! As a 16 year old girl I needed nothing else.

I really loved the adorable, charming and handsome Kunal Karan Kapoor. Admired the way he fought for chocolates. He is a skillful photographer, passionate traveller and a delightful bookworm. What a heavenly combination! Next things I loved, the interviews of the real Mohan and Megha. It was an interview by Tinsel Gupta. . .which I was dumbstruck! I admired his honesty, dedication, simplicity, his sophisticated talent, uniqueness and his calmness with dropped jaw. What a wonderful human being! Fell flat for this man! Two photographs of his made me realise the loving and emotional side of him. One during Shveta Di's marriage, He was holding one side of the Saree above her like a shelter. I don't know why the ritual is for, but it somehow reflected his love and affection for his bestie. Another one, was when he held a baby in his shoulder, which he posted with a caption 'Parii ka mamu'. Seeing that I went speechless. . .

Lastly, thank you for being my greatest inspiration. Your smile gives me greatest pleasure and it abundantly fills my heart with happiness. Wish I had some magical powers to still your smile. If I ever had Alladin's lamp, my first wish would be 'I want Kunal Karan Kapoor to be the Happiest Person on Earth'. . . I would like to thank Kunal for giving me such a sweet Kunalian family. I feel proud being part of your family!

Hi Kunal.... This is Juhi Malhotra from Mumbai... Read the post regarding the write-ups for you... To be frank I am not that good at it... But still would like to say a few words for you... First and foremost... I know everybody says this... But still I would like to tell you that I am a diehard fan of yours... People have started calling me a psycho because of my OBSESSION for NBTNMKK... N this is only and only because of you Kunal.... How can somebody not love you?? You are such a sweetheart ... I am such a person who has never watched any serial apart from NBTNMKK... Never in my life did I ever watch any kind of serial... But NBT has taken my heart away 💕 Sometimes I repent.. I wish I had watched Left Right Left and Doli Armanon Ki... But it's ok... I am satisfied with NBT... Because in NBT I feel you have given your best... You are the most genuine and most natural actor I have ever seen... The way you have enacted Mohan's and Vasu's role, nobody could have ever acted the way you have.... You are ULTIMATE, Your expressions .. Your smile .. Your hair... Your way of talking and walking ... Your looks... Your charm... Your personality.... Your voice.. You are the only one who made me cry whenever I saw u crying on TV.... This is the impact of you Kunal... Everything thing about you is just WOWWW!!!! ...for me perfection=kunal. Not to forget the way you say 'Aye Chavanni... Sunnnn naa', 'mirchi madam' and ‘Mother India' ... Kunal you are the Greek God of Indian Television!!! It is only and only because of you that I have watched NBT (season 1 and 2) almost all the episodes 5 times... I mean it's unimaginable... A girl who never watched any kind of serial watches NBT that too both the seasons 5 times!!! It's possible only because of a magician... And that MAGICIAN is none other than you KUNAL KARAN KAPOOR!!!!!! Your magic has made me crazy kunal... You are the best.... Nobody can be better than you..... You are stupendofantabulously fabulous... It's my wish to meet you once.... And to hear from you 'Aye Juhi... Sunn naa' because the way u say it, nobody can say it the same way.....It's the only wish of my life... Just to meet you once... And last but not the least.... LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK KUNAL!!! MAY YOU BE SUPER SUCCESSFUL AND SUPER DUPER HAPPY THROUGHOUT YOUR LIFE!!!! GOD BLESS YOU!!! TONS OF MAGIC DUST FOR YOU KUNAL... Love you 💕💕

February 2016

Hello Everyone!! So! How I met Kunal Karan Kapoor..... I watched the promo of 'Na Bole tum na Maine kuch kaha' and I found it really interesting. I mean the promo itself had uniqueness and a magnetic effect which attracted me towards it. I remember I watched the first episode and the starting story was all about Megha and I had my exams going on so I left it at half. Then I could not manage to watch the show. But one day my Sister was watching the episode where Megha started feeling for Mohan. The 'o re piya' scene.! Each and every scene which Megha was recapturing was so heart melting. With Megha I also started feeling for Kunal. And there I met him.. After that I didn't miss to watch any of the episodes. I got attached to the show emotionally. I watched the episodes which I missed before on YouTube. His role as Mohan made me love him. I loved each and everything about him. His eyes, his smile, his voice, his hair, his body language, the way he called Megha 'Mirchi Madam'and 'Mrs.Vyas , The way he used to say 'Sunn Na', 'Arrey Yaar' and the cutest one 'Ae Chawanni'. Even if he hated kids but he loved Nanhi unconditionally. And The Mohan-Guru bond was more than awesome . The childish behavior of Guru and the 'Gusse wali Nazar' of Mohan was really funny' This was my love for Mohan Bhatnagar but after knowing about his personal life and feelings, my love and respect for Kunal started growing day by day. But then the show ended with a promise of season 2 and I started waiting for it. Then Season 2 came and my eyes were searching for him and there he entered. My whole family used to watch Season 2 and I was the one who explained them of season 1 if required. And then Season 2 ended with tears in my eyes. But I was still attached to Kunal and was waiting for his comback. Then again one day. My sister was again watching a show. She was watching 'Doli Armanon Ki ' and coincidentally I sat with her to watch it. That time I did not use fb or Twitter or anything for one month so I did not had any news related to Kunal. I remember when Grown up Shaurya Sinha entered, it showed him from the back and he was moving towards the stage. As soon as I saw him from the back I told my sister that his hair and the way he walks is similar to Kunal. But I didn't take much concern to it I don't know why. But the next day when I opened my twitter account and saw his post about the grown up Shaurya, I got surprised. For a moment I thought, 'Is it a dream?' and it wasn't. I was really very happy . That was all how I met Kunal Karan Kapoor. Thank You so much Kunal. You are the one who make me feel good eveyday. What if you don't post your pictures everyday, I have your pictures to see and smile and feel good eveyday. While writing this I really went down to the memory lane. So Thank You so much to the admins of Kunal's page for giving us such opportunities to express ourselves. Thank You.

Akanksha Kashyap February 2016

Sometimes we want to say a lot of things but some make us speechless with their act. The same thing is always happened with me whenever I watch the performance of King of expression and emotions Mr KUNAL KARAN KAPOOR…. I have never seen KUNAL KARAN KAPOOR before NA BOLE TUM ….BUT after seeing him in the promo of NBT one question is always in my mind “Why do we connect with a cinematic character ,a film, a TV series , a phrase , a poem ?’’The day one I was connected with the character MOHAN BHATNAGAR . The above question is always in my mind and after seeing only two and three episodes I got my answer “Every time something connects with me, it completes something, answers something, heals something and so on ….. Then another question came up “Why only it happens with MOHAN not others? This also I got the answer “ BECAUSE the person behind MOHAN knows HOW TO CONNECT WITH PEOPLE which is UNIQUE and BEST THING about KUNAL that he knows HOW TO INFLUENCE the AUDIENCES . I do know that KUNAL is gifted. He is capable of protraying different shades on screen which is his strength. His best shade is emotion as his eyes speaks volumes. His best character till date is Mohan Bhatnagar . I love Mohan a lot, smile emoticon Mohan is a character from which we can learn. He makes us to feel his pain of suffering. He is imperfectly perfect in all his work. We all love a person but he loves a person's ability and strength. Mohan is a world in itself. Mohan is a immortal character who cannot die. I think Kunal karan kapoor has made Mohan immortal. I know milestone cannot be made every day, kunal made Mohan a milestone and I know he can make many more. As mohan has given my a lot I have always seen that the writer’s makes the character a great one BUT here it’s the actor how make the character immortal . REALLY MOHAN BHATNAGAR cannot die in any of the audience heart . BUT STILL I WANT SAY IN FRONT OF ALL THAT I personally cannot see NBT as the love story but I rather see to it as the MOHAN ‘s JOURNEY and this CREDIT ONLY GOES TO KUNAL KARAN KAPOOR . MOHAN BHATNAGAR have given me many lessons that “never give up hope’’ ,”people who have suffered in pain can live without anyone ,even without it’s lover ,because the grief is enough to allow him to live. I would Love to believe..People like Mohan still exist in this materialistic world, otherwise I'll lose Faith on Love...may be yeh meri 'galat fahmi' hai but as Mohan said... "Zinda rahne ke liye kabhi kabhi galat fahmiyan bhi jaruri hoti hai...". I want to write a lot about the MOHAN’s character but right now I have to move on to vasu it is also greatly developed character because of KUNAL KARAN KAPOOR .It has potential but it does not have time to develop as much he can. I conclude by saying: Pleaseeee come back as early as possible with any new and great project.

My Jaan Kunal

By Dusky: Kunal karan kapoor- A magician. You make me smile. You make my heart beat. My association with Kunal goes back to Remix days. You frittered in and out . and I didn't pay attention to the nerd. The turning point was ' left right left' . started watching it only for my then favorite actor Rajeev Khandelwal. Slowly I started liking all cadets. Cadet yudi became my favourite. I used to hate it when he was teased n made him the butt of everyone's jokes. The madona track; suicide and the detention track blew everyone away. I was one of them. Time went on. My carrier started. It was going great guns. And being a performer I was transferred to Delhi. Professionally great. Personally I got immense pain in a relationship.I became a wreck. Took the next flight to mumbai. Heartache refused to go.job was in doldrums. Yes I'm a victim of depression.. Dec2011 I was wallowing in self pity and surfing tv channels. There I saw this guy. He tugged my heartstrings. I tried to recollect why is this boy is so endearing. And then it came as a flash. Cadet yudi.. Kunal karan kapoor back. His first project as the lead role.the ads were very appealing. 9th Jan 2012 the TV was switched on. 15th mnts into d first half I wondered if its a sas bahu show. I still stuck to the show and nanhis wish was fulfilled. The dashing lafanga had made his entery. Like tsunami everyone fell for him. No holds barred. No age limit. It was not difficult not to like him. He had his imperfections, brash, gentle with the kids, love hate relationship with mirchi madam. And boy he had a job. A real job. A news reporter. A job which was his passion and he did in with utmost sincerity. I have not seen any other actor getting into the skin of the character. No actor can boast that any other actor has won both accolades fr himself n the character he is playing. I have walked , laughed and cried with bmohan bhatnagar. He is a directors actor. Kudos to sonal gantara mam for etching such a wonderful character. I can watch this show on a repeat mode and don't get bored I remembered when Nbt ended there was chaos every where. We want season 2 every where. Season 2 came albeit with a difference. Viewers were shocked. But we got to see a spectacular performance by our ' king of expressions'. His angst, his seperation from megha, navikas indifference with her superman was the final blow. I have cried a lot in season 2. Oh then the much needed relief. VASU...nor once did I see mohan bhatnagar in vasu. Two of them were different entities. We wished time would remain still. But no. We had to wait for two painful years before we got our hero.. SHAURYA. A devoted son, a protector, the pain in his eyes, trying to wipe out the past.. Brilliantly portrayed by an ace actor. Many of his scenes demands an encore. Kunal is responsible for giving us such good friends. There have been hurt souls who felt it, and connected with each other .. Became fast friends. We are there for each other. And love is mutual. Nbt and Kunal you both are very special.. Mr kapoor a comeback soon plz.

January 2016

Belicia Alphonso

KUNAL KARAN KAPOOR – JUST EXTRAORDINARY Well it all started with Na Bole Tum and I became part of Kunal’s fandom. I had seen him as Angad in Pratigya which was my first encounter with my rockstar, but as I wasn’t following the show it went unnoticed. But then NBT promos went on air in 2012, felt that this is interesting but wasn’t sure whether I will follow it religiously. But then I happened to watch MAHASHIVRATRI EPISODES and instantly fell in Love with the show and tried catching up with all the previous episodes and soon fell in love with Spiderman Chavanni bond which was unique and refreshing. This show was breeze of fresh air and slowly I became Kunal Karan Kapoor’s diehard fan. NBT1 and NBT2 gave us our most beloved character MOHAN BHATNAGAR and I admit no one could do it the way Kunal did it, it was simply flawless. My favourite scenes they are so many. MAHASHIVRATRI EPISODES love the whole sequence it wouldn’t be unfair if I say this was the best track. But the episode where I fell in Love with Kunal’s performance was where Megha tells Mohan that she too loves him and the reaction that Mohan gave, I mean the way Kunal performed was sheer brilliance. It made me wonder how this guy can be so natural. His all scenes with Ashnoor Kaur aka our nanhi they are just filled with such innocence. Then comes the second innings of NBT. Aahhhhhh!!!!! “eh! Pharmal jacket, agar dil hota toh vasu ki pehchaan ni hoti” still echoes in my ears. VASU RAJVARDHAN, another brilliant character NBT gave us. Vasu is my topmost favourite character that Kunal played. A complete mixture of ruthlessness and innocence. His attitude speaks for him. NBT2 had matured Mohan and Vasu was Mohan redefined which I loved thoroughly. Again Vasu Jaan and Mohan jaan scenes rules my heart. Kunal’s emotional scenes as Mohan still makes my eyes wet. Simultaneously, Ruku and Vasu’s mucky scene make me smile like anything. By then Kunal Karan Kapoor had made me addicted to his performance so much so that I do not like any other actor’s performance. THANK YOU A LOT KUNAL FOR POTRAYING MOHAN BHANTNAGAR/VASU RAJVARDHAN WITH SUCH PERFECTION. Then came another character that is Shaurya of Doli Armanon ki, another gem. A very emotional character. It had so many shades, if only the character was given enough time. It had lot of depth and the way Kunal portrayed every emotion was amazing. Kunal always left us wanting more be it any character. Now, I follow his old shows too. His every character had message in it. If Yadhuvansh sahni (Left Right Left) taught us the actual meaning of strength, Mohan taught us selflessness. Every character is memorable be it Angad, Amrik,Sukhi, Varun or Monty. They reside and have a special place in my heart. Besides Kunal come across as a down to earth person and honesty in his eyes is evident, which makes fans like me proud and his smile makes us crazy. When you won best actor award we felt like we conquered the whole world. Lastly I want to put full stop here with this line of Shaurya which I feel completely applies for Kunal “itni shiddat se nibhao apna kirdar, ke parda girne par bhi taaliyan bajti rahein”. ohhh yesss Kunal you indeed portray your each character which such perfection that it will be remembered forever and Taaliyan abhi tak baj rahi hain. Here’s me waiting with lots of enthusiasm and excitement for you to comeback with another amazing character. WITH LOTS OF LOVE AND MAY GOD BLESS YOU WITH ALL SUCCESS AND HEALTH.

Bhagya Sahoo

On 28th January 2013, time provably 9:50 pm I was watching any programme on TV. I have a big problem that i always change channels when i sit to watch tv . Suddenly my eye saw a MAN who talk to someone in mobile & became irritated and said ARE YAARRRR .It really sounds very good. So from that moment i was attracted towards him just like a magnet . I continued to watch . When that episode was finished i just open the internet and impatiently wanted to know who is this charming MAN . Then i read about the serial and knew he is none other than Kunal Karan Kapoor as Mohan Bhatnagar whose basic line is Are yaar ;Suuunaa . Then i downloaded some pic showed to my mother . My mother said, :what a handsome guy” with a big smile with her face . This is the first day experience for me with Kunal as Mohan with NBTNKMKK-2. Not only me my entire family love u Kunal as Mohan . Day after day I became more addicted to Mohan . Then i started to know more about Kunal karan Kapoor as a person . I m always think about u that what r u doing, how r u etc just typically like a mother. I can't explain in words that how much i love u, care for u, respect u. One of the best gift that god gifted me is U "KUNAL KARAN KAPOOR" . Another thing soooo unique about "Na Bole Tum Na Maine Kuch Kaha " is that, I never ever expected that a serial became a vital organ of life. Honestly i always feel that NBT family is like my another family. It is sooo real that it can attract any one. Another important thing I'm just like Mohan Bhatnagar nature wise & behaviour etc . I watch NBT everyday but one thing is strange that it arises same feelings just like i watched it for the first time. I love the NBT family . I love u Kunal .My love will continues till my last breath . Lastly i m really thankful to the creator , the maker & total team of NBT for giving such a unique family that remain with us for lifetime . Great honour to God for his lovely creation "Na Bole Tum Na Maine Kuch Kaha ".

Kunal Karan Kapoor....name is all for me.I met him way back....11 years ago in a show called Remix....he played a nerd viz Varun....sheepish, stammering half the time he spoke, butt of all jokes and then came Varun's resurrection and when I saw that I said to myself "boy,this actor is something else". To be honest I was a tvholic and I had other favourites... But Varun did leave a mark...silently...With time I flew...Kunal honestly took a back seat...Suddenly one fine day my path crossed with Yadhuvansh Sahni aka Yudi in Left Right Left...I was keen on LRL more because of Rajeev Khandelwal who still is amongst my list of best actors. I quite liked the way Yudi was...in fact I was almost the same in my class..very cool...yo yo types....struggling to mix with the herd...yet there was so much depth that was hiding inside Yudi...nobody knew...nobody noticed!!!!!!only that suicide scene when everyone understood that happy go lucky Yudi suffered and his pain was almost like a volcano that erupted saying " enough is enough"....sometimes I question was it Yudi or Kunal ?Kunal had to be Yudi or Yudi had to be Kunal....it was that powerhouse actor who overtook...I was amazed, awed..... Again time passed Kunal performed but I was glued to his negative portrayal of Angad in Man Ki Awaz Pratigya...I simply adore that rowdy Angad...Kunal is very sophisticated yet it is amazing to see him performing a rustic gundaa...thoroughly entertaining... I was growing fond of him day by day. Kunal Karan Kapoor the actor took me over. And then came Na Bole Tum Na Maine Kuch Kaha......an ode to pristine performance and screenplay.Mohan Bhatnagar.....ohh!!!! He is still a lifeline... I have heard destiny plays game with us.NBT happened when I was broken and shattered...a mere TV serial,a character can give you life....yes is the answer....positivity of Mohan, purity of Spiderman and Chavanni relationship, unconditional love of Mohan....bindaas attitude of the righteous journalist who believed in triumph of truth instilled HOPE in me....and it was the actor Kunal who made me believe in Mohan in all its perfection and imperfection. SALUTE to Kunal for converting a scripted character Mohan into someone of flesh and blood. I presume it had to be Kunal this great actor became my mantra of living. He continued to amaze me in the avatar of matured Mohan carrying a sense of guilt and unbearable pain in the second innings of NBT...perfection at its peak(no exaggeration).... And so also total contrast in the same platform as Vasu....the adorable baddie....Flawless!!!! I was overwhelmed by Kunal Karan Kapoor.....so also Shaurya in Doli Armano Ki....lasted a bit but Shaurya is someone whom I can never forget....self made, righteousness being the attributes of Shaurya yet I was attracted to the inner struggle of Shaurya which was aptly portrayed by Kunal....so much so I at times thought that intensity.....is Kunal in real so intense? Its really difficult to confine such a beautiful actor into string of words and sentences. I am blessed to be his fan, a performer par excellence. Through his acting Kunal won my heart and my entire being.and with time I got to know a little part of my prince charming in reality. He is almost the same as the Mohan Bhatnagar that I am so fond of with a little twist. the most correlating stuff is that Kunal is as down-to-earth as Mohan is.all this stardom,fandom yet #kunalkarankapoor is so grounded. respect is what comes and echoes for my Rockstar.To this Charmer, my lifeline I just want to wish you all the very best and may he gets whatever he wishes for and deserves. I love you #Kunal.God bless.Rock n Roll Charmer -----Debapriya

#kunal karan kapoor #nbtnmkk

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submissivejungkook · 7 years ago

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Get To Know Me~

I saw these questions from another post but decided to answer them here - I answered a couple in an ask, but decided to go ahead a do them all.

1. What is your full name? : Alyssa (I prefer to keep the rest unknown~)

2. What is your nickname? : Lys, Scarlet, baby girl, baby, princess, and kitten

3. What is your zodiac sign? : Gemini

4. What is your favorite book series? : Harry Potter

5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? : Both

6. Who is your favorite author? : That’s really hard to decide. There are so many amazing authors out there! T.T

7. What is your favorite radio station? : I don’t listen to the radio. BTS albums is the way to go!

8. What is your favorite flavor of anything? : I really enjoy anything strawberry, grape, and peach.

9. What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? : As lame as it is, I usually “da bomb diggity” I know, I know. What the fuck

10. What is your current favorite song? : Ummm.. I CAN’T DECIDE THIS, YOU CRUEL PERSON - Recently, though, I’ve been listening a lot to Yes I Am by Mamamoo

11. What is your favorite word? : I have a few, but fuck is my most used word.

12. What was the last song you listened to? : Nice Very Nice - Seventeen

13. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? : Uhmm.. I don’t watch much TV.. But either Impractical Jokers or George Lopez (old but gold)

14. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? : Anything Disney Princess related ~

15. Do you play video games? : I play some, yes.

16. What is your biggest fear? : Oh gosh, I have so many of those... But I hate the dark. If I can’t see my surroundings, I have the worst panic attack.

17. What is your best quality, in your opinion? : I’m very passionate.

18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? : I tend to have a very short temper.

19. Do you like cats or dogs better? : I love them both to death, but I have to say dogs.

20. What is your favorite season? : Autumn!

21. Are you in a relationship? : Sadly no. I mean, I am but Namjoon is completely unaware of it-

22. What is something you miss from your childhood? : I really miss all the great shows like Drake and Josh, CatDog, Rugrats, Scooby Doo(I know this is still going on, but it was much better when I was a child), etc.

23. Who is your best friend? : I have a couple. Neither of them are on tumblr, though.

24. What is your eye color? : Deep blue

25. What is your hair color? : Natural - Medium brown, Dyed - Black

26. Who is someone you love? : Namjoonie

27. Who is someone you trust? : My great aunt. I can tell her anything and everything.

28. Who is someone you think about often? : Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about @lilazalani-blog - She’s such a sweet girl and definitely an amazing friend.

29. Are you currently excited about/for something? : I start my 3rd year of college on the 22nd <3 Oooh can’t forget the Hixtape and BTS’ comeback.

30. What is your biggest obsession? : Kpop

31. What was your favorite TV show as a child? : Scooby Doo was my ult. fave.

32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? : My younger brother. We’re only 2 1/2 years apart so we’re pretty much on the same thinking level and he’s so understanding <3

33. Are you superstitious? : Kinda

34. Do you have any unusual phobias? : Escalaphobia - the fear of elevators

35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? : Behind

36. What is your favorite hobby? : Writing!

37. What was the last book you read? : 50 Shades of Grey >.>

38. What was the last movie you watched? : Wonder Woman

39. What musical instruments do you play, if any? : I used to play the flute

40. What is your favorite animal? : Panda!

41. What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow? : @bangtanprincesss @lilazalani-blog @talkwithjimin @bottomguk and @ya-boy-bambam - There are more, though!

42. What superpower do you wish you had? : Probably telepathy or Precognition

43. When and where do you feel most at peace? : Either in my room or at the campus coffee shop

44. What makes you smile? : BTS and the wonderful people I’ve met on here~

45. What sports do you play, if any? : I used to play softball now I play hide-away-in-my-room-and-never-come-out-until-school-starts. I’m pretty good at that!

46. What is your favorite drink? : Coffee or water

47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? : Last semester

48. Are you afraid of heights? : YES

49. What is your biggest pet peeve? : Either someone standing over me while I try to work or someone repeating the same thing over and over

50. Have you ever been to a concert? : Yessss! March 29th I went to the BTS concert in Chicago!

51. Are you vegan/vegetarian? : No.. I tried, but I can’t live without steak or chicken

52. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? : A singer and dancer

53. What fictional world would you like to live in? : The fictional world in my head where I’m a really fit and gorgeous girl that’s married to Namjoon.

54. What is something you worry about? : My future

55. Are you scared of the dark? : ...Hell yes

56. Do you like to sing? : Yes, even though I’m awful

57. Have you ever skipped school? : Yeah. Don’t tell my uncle, though.

58. What is your favorite place on the planet? : Disney World!

59. Where would you like to live? : Somewhere up north. I live in the south western area of the states. T.T I wouldn’t mind living in New Zealand either.

60. Do you have any pets? : I have one pup~

61. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? : Normally I’m both, but I’ve been sleeping so late because I haven’t been sleeping until like 4:30 am or so.

62. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? : Sunset

63. Do you know how to drive? : Yesssss

64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? : Earbuds

65. Have you ever had braces? : Yeah and I actually miss them.

66. What is your favorite genre of music? : I’ll listen to anything that catches my attention, but I love kpop (obv)

67. Who is your hero? : Demi Lovato has been my hero for a loooong time, and then BTS came into the picture too.

68. Do you read comic books? : Nope

69. What makes you the most angry? : There are plenty of things, but.. cheaters really piss me off.

70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? : Real book all the way. I love the smell and feel of new/old books.

71. What is your favorite subject in school? : In high school it was English/Literature. Now it’s Psychology since that’s what I’m majoring in~

72. Do you have any siblings? : Yep! One younger brother

73. What was the last thing you bought? : A subscription to a twitch streamer <.>

74. How tall are you? : 5′3 or 5′4

75. Can you cook? : Ehh.. I bake better.

76. What are three things that you love? : BTS, my friends, and kpop

77. What are three things that you hate? : Horrible drivers, fanwars, and politics

78. Do you have more female friends or more male friends? : Female

79. What is your sexual orientation? : Pansexual

80. Where do you currently live? : United States

81. Who was the last person you texted? : My mother

82. When was the last time you cried? : Last night

83. Who is your favorite YouTuber? : Markiplier and TerryTV

84. Do you like to take selfies? : When I’m having a good hair day pffft

85. What is your favorite app? : Instagram or YouTube

86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? : It’s alright.

87. What is your favorite foreign accent? : British or Busan dialect (Jimin got me fucked up tbh)

88. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? : Korea, New Zealand, Japan, UK, and Paris

89. What is your favorite number? : 143

90. Can you juggle? : No :c

91. Are you religious? : I’m not sure about this either, honestly. I don’t have a problem with religions.. I grew up in a Christian family, but I’m just unsure.

92. Do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting? : The deep ocean

93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? : Not really.

94. Are you allergic to anything? : Penicillin

95. Can you curl your tongue? : Yep

96. Can you wiggle your ears? : Ohmygosh no XD I remember on The Little Rascals, Alfalfa could wiggle his and it made me laugh so hard.

97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? : Every time I’m wrong.

98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? : Beach

99. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? : Fake it til you make - One smile goes a long way so always remember to smile at someone - Do you >u>

100. Are you a good liar? : No, not at all

101. What is your Hogwarts House? : Slytherin

102. Do you talk to yourself? : ...yes

103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? : Introvert

104. Do you keep a journal/diary? : I used to

105. Do you believe in second chances? : Depends

106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? : I’ve found a couple wallets before and I did what I could to find who they belonged to.

107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? : Sure, if they really want to change.

108. Are you ticklish? : Very!

109. Have you ever been on a plane? : Yes! Twice

110. Do you have any piercings? : Nope

111. What fictional character do you wish was real? : There was a guy from a book I read named Archer. I fell in love with him. I wish he were real XD

112. Do you have any tattoos? : No, but tattoos are hot~

113. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? : Best decision.. Choosing to study psychology

114. Do you believe in karma? : Yesss

115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? : Glasses~

116. Do you want children? : I’d like to adopt 2 babies one day

117. Who is the smartest person you know? : My uncle

118. What is your most embarrassing memory? : One day during softball practice, my shorts came down while I was running the bases... It was so bad.

119. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? : Obv!

120. What color are most of your clothes? : Black tbh

121. Do you like adventures? : Sure^^

122. Have you ever been on TV? : Yep

123. How old are you? : Just turned 20

124. What is your favorite quote? : “Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect”

125. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? : Both

#get to know the blogger #get to know me #bts #questions #kpop

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alethiometry · 7 years ago

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[fic] Non Serviam

Title: Non Serviam Fandom: Silicon Valley Characters: Jared Dunn, Bertram Gilfoyle, Dinesh Chugtai Rating: PG Warnings: show-level swearing Word Count: 2,021 words Summary: While Richard goes and meets with Gavin, the guys back at the house pour one out for Anton, have a rare sincere conversation, and contemplate next steps. 4x10 coda/addendum.

Notes: A quick self-indulgent thing that I threw together after watching the season finale one too many times. Unbeta'd, so all mistakes are mine and mine alone. Enjoy!

Read below, or on AO3.

The server room is cold without Anton—empty, now, and spacious. Far too spacious. And silent, like a tomb. Almost like the offices they’d populated during Barker’s brief tenure as CEO, after the clearance sale. But whatever somber feelings their former office space had stirred in Jared, it’s nothing compared to the cold sterility of an Anton-less garage.

It had taken a couple weeks to get used to falling asleep with all the humming fans and little flickering LEDs, the constant whirrs pulsing through Anton’s circuit boards; the silence now is oppressive by contrast, even with Jian-Yang and Dinesh’s muffled argument coming from the kitchen. Jared wonders how long it’ll take to get used to sleeping in his own bedroom again. Maybe the constant twinge of muscle cramping in his back will go away after a couple nights on a real mattress. That would certainly be a silver lining.

Still, he’ll miss the server room. He supposes he should call it a garage, technically, but a garage is for parking cars, and he doesn’t think anybody’s parked their cars in here since Erlich bought the place.

Speaking of which, Erlich should have checked in with them by now. Jared pulls out his phone to shoot him a quick text (Does he have international texting? Can he even get a signal way up in the Himalayas?) but when he unlocks his phone all he sees is the falsified Hooli-Con app glaring up at him.

Right.

Somehow, even after everything, he can’t bring himself to delete it.

He’s got half a bottle of Martinelli’s in his mini-fridge, leftover from the one night they thought they’d be rich—the one night of unbridled, carefree celebration before Keenan’s betrayal. The cider’s beyond flat by now, almost disgustingly syrupy, but somehow it seems fitting.

Bottoms up,

he thinks glumly, and that’s when the door creaks open.

“Thought you moved back to your place,” Gilfoyle says, as tonelessly as ever. The air mattress bounces a little as he sinks down next to Jared, swigging directly from his bottle of Pappy van Winkle.

“I did,” Jared replies. “I just thought I’d come pay my respects. I can leave, if you’d like.”

Gilfoyle shrugs and clinks his bottle against Jared’s. “To Anton,” he mutters, pouring a bit of his bourbon onto the ground.

“To Anton,” echoes Jared, joining him.

They sit there in silent contemplation, each with his own beverage, staring at the empty room. Other than a couple shelves and crates that hadn’t fit into the U-Haul, some scattered wiring and electrical components that Jared can never seem to remember the names or functions of, and that giant photograph of Gavin Belson (turned, mercifully, to face the wall), there’s not much else to see.

“Can I ask you a question, Gilfoyle?” Jared says quietly.

“Why was I so attached to a stupid fucking machine that I built with my own two hands, that sat in here holding every goddamn byte of data and line of code that we worked our fucking asses off for?”

“Well, when you put it like that—”

“Have you ever built anything from scratch, Jared?” Gilfoyle asks.

“I set up a bird feeder once,” Jared says. “It was from a kit that I got for Christmas at one of my foster homes, but I assembled it myself and filled it with feed and climbed up the big tree in the front yard to hang it from one of the branches. A few days later, a mother bird built her nest on another branch right above it to lay her eggs. I never saw how many she laid; it was too high up to see from the ground and I didn’t want to disturb her—”

“For fuck’s sake,” Gilfoyle mutters, taking another swig.

“—Then one day I came back from school to a crow savaging the eggs,” Jared continues. “The mother bird was so helpless against it, and it just kept tearing and tearing and eating and eating. And then—she just flew away. And the crow finished eating and

flew away, and all the twigs and bits of egg just sort of—dripped down all over the bird feeder, like some grisly tree ornament gone awry.”

Gilfoyle snorts. Once upon a time, Jared would have found it mean-spirited. Now, though, he’s come to expect the callousness. Welcome it, even. It’s a testament to how far they’ve come, if nothing else.

The door swings open again. It’s Dinesh this time, nursing a bottle of—

“Are you drinking my fucking beer?”

“Fuck you, Gilfoyle,” Dinesh snaps. He takes a long, slow swig while flipping Gilfoyle the bird.

Jared watches them stare each other down for a moment, gauging whether he needs to intervene yet again, but then Gilfoyle deflates with a muttered “whatever” and a roll of the (still cat-contact-lensed) eyes.

“Figured I’d find you guys here,” Dinesh says, seating himself on Gilfoyle’s other side. “Jian-Yang’s been chain smoking all fucking day since getting back from the airport. And blasting fucking Chinese pop ballads. No wonder Erlich wanted to fucking kill him all the fucking time.”

“Where is Erlich, anyway?” Gilfoyle asks. “You guys ever hear from him?”

Jared and Dinesh both shake their heads. Gilfoyle shrugs again. They lapse into another comfortable silence, sipping their drinks.

“So where will you two go from here?” Jared asks.

Gilfoyle and Dinesh exchange a look.

“I go where the money goes,” Dinesh says. “And right now, as big of a fucking prick as Richard is, the money’s with him and his new internet.”

“I told you when we were working with Gavin Belson,” says Gilfoyle, “I hate to see good tech go to waste. Richard’s a lying sack of shit with piss-poor management skills, but he’s still a brilliant programmer.”

“I mean,” Dinesh adds, “As long as—” He trails off, looking embarrassed, and takes a hasty swig of his beer.

“As long as what?” Jared asks.

“As long as you keep him in check,” Gilfoyle finishes.

“He fired me,” Jared says. “You were both there.”

“And then he hired you back,” Dinesh says.

Gilfoyle grunts in agreement. “We were perfectly happy leaving him out in the cold until you called us. Totally worth it, though, to watch Melcher lose his shit. Again,” he adds with a smirk.

“You knew, didn’t you?” Dinesh says. “About Richard sleeping with Melcher’s fiancee? I mean, like, before Melcher started beating the shit out of him.”

“Oh—yeah. Yeah, he told me what happened. He didn’t want it known, though, for obvious reasons. Not that it matters now, I suppose. Cat’s out of the bag.”

“Right. Point is,” says Gilfoyle. “Richard trusts you, Jared.”

Dinesh nods. “And so do we.”

“Richard went to go meet Gavin at Josefina’s,” Gilfoyle says. “I’d bet half my shares in Pied Piper that Gavin’s offering him another acquisition, and I’d bet the other half that Richard’s gonna turn him down. It’s only a matter of time before the space saver app takes off—I mean really takes off—and we’re on track to make servers, including Hooli’s box business, completely obsolete. And with the new, decentralized internet, well. It’s a brave new fucking world.”

Dinesh smirks. “What Gilfoyle is trying to say, but can’t because he’s an arrogant dick, is that even though we’re on board, we can’t do this without you. Me, and Gilfoyle, and especially Richard. We need you, Jared.”

“That’s very kind of you to say,” Jared says, “but it’s been a long couple of days and I should head back to my place. My squatter didn’t exactly leave the place spotless when he left, so I still have a lot of cleaning to do.”

He leans over to drop his now-empty Martinelli’s bottle into the recycling bin, then pulls himself to his feet. It feels like a longer walk than usual to the garage door opener, despite the fact that he now has a direct and open route where he doesn’t have to worry about bumping into shelves or knocking some rigging out of configuration and thereby, to quote Gilfoyle, “skullfucking the entire company.” The door opens with that familiar creak and long groan, and Jared finds himself already missing the sound.

The sun has set over Palo Alto, the sky a light-polluted haze of dull greys. Richard should be back from his meeting with Gavin soon, and Jared would very much like to have some more space to think things over before getting back to work. Suddenly he feels very tired.

“I, uh, I’ll see you two tomorrow,” he says with a half-hearted wave, digging in his pocket for his car keys.

Dinesh and Gilfoyle exchange another look.

“Hey, Jared,” Dinesh calls. “Jian-Yang’s already moved all his shit into the master bedroom. We’re gonna have to start looking for someone to take his old room soon.”

“Erlich still owns the place, so there’s no rent to pay, but even without Anton eating up all the power, Jian-Yang’s stupid smart fridge is gonna piss all over the electric bill,” Gilfoyle adds. “And we’re not exactly rich yet.”

“That’s true,” says Dinesh, “but it’s a lot of hassle to look for people and schedule showings—”

“—and we’ve got a fuckload of work to do on Pied Piper.”

“And even if we do find someone, they could be, like, a serial killer or something—”

“—which, fascinating though it may be to share a living space with someone so uninhibited in his or her hobbies, poses a very real threat to the productivity of the company. Not to mention all the potential legal bullshit that comes with housing a murderer.”

“Roommates aside, the Palo Alto housing market is more competitive than SAT prep at a private school. I bet a nice, one-bedroom condo in a convenient location would sell in no time.”

“Would make the seller a shitton of money, too.”

“Right, and driving to and from your workplace every day is pretty bad for the environment.”

“And gas prices are going up again.”

“And taking the bus or biking seems pretty inconven—”

Jared holds up a hand. “I get it,” he says with a smile. “Thanks for the invite, guys. I, uh. I’ll let you know soon.”

He surveys the empty garage one more time as Dinesh and Gilfoyle return to the house. The garage door squeaks shut, Pied Piper logo gleaming bright from the light of the streetlamps. Jared starts up his car and pulls out of the driveway. It still stings, to be sure, Richard’s betrayal and near-immediate outreach and apology. Jared doesn’t doubt the sincerity of it for a second, but it still gives him pause. Forgiveness was easy when they all thought they’d be dead in the water in just a matter of minutes. They would see Pied Piper through to the bitter end, and part ways as amicably as they could manage, under those circumstances; that had been the plan, and he had accepted it. Now that they’re very much alive and seemingly thriving, though—now Jared’s not so sure.

But if what Gilfoyle says is true, that Pied Piper will only grow from here to one day overtake Hooli as the new tech giant in the Valley, well. They’ve all of them now seen what Richard is capable of, both the good and the bad. But the three of them—Dinesh, Gilfoyle, and himself—perhaps they together can somehow save Richard from becoming Gavin 2.0.

Jared smiles to himself as he pulls into his designated parking spot behind his condo, remembering that hazy, sleep-deprived night they’d spent on the dick-jerking algorithm that gave rise to middle-out—remembers the cables he’d hauled from the garage as Gilfoyle tore holes through drywall and Dinesh and Erlich kept their viral livestream afloat. He remembers the roller-coaster tumult of his first (and last) Pied Piper board meeting; the revelations of Peter Gregory’s storage unit; the dread, then ecstasy, then alarm as they assembled in Melcher’s office that very morning, very much ready to go down as a team, only to discover their unlikely salvation via smart fridge.

Brave new world, indeed.

#silicon valley #jared dunn #bertram gilfoyle #dinesh chugtai #my fic #sv fic

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