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#u guys are TEW FUNNY
f1shb0ner · 19 days
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my favorite pastime is reading reblog tags ..... i giggle and kick my feet
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sexbot300 · 5 months
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telling them they have a small dick!
pairing: toji x reader, gojo x reader (separate)
⤷ 18+, MDNI
tw: man-handling, p in v, unprotected sex, power play, cunnilingus, falsetto, huge dick (come on now), mentions of creampie, orgasms, degrading/dirty talk, slight size kink if you squint, text format for gojoe.
a/n: this was so funny to write i cant stop laughing. this was longer than i expected, i will be making a part two with choso, geto, and nanami if asked for. originally it was meant to include them but this is a bit tew long. I actually like this more than anything i’ve ever written before :’) comments r more than welcome thank uuuuu. luv u all xoxo (felt things while writing this, it’s funny that I think it’s my best work)
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Toji ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ Reading your diary
Toji Fushiguro pissed you off. There were no ifs and buts or any way around it. As much as you adored being friends with Megumi and spending time near the stoic guy, coming by his house felt entirely dreadful. Mutual friends frequently visited his abode, leaving and visiting often without a sliver of complaint leaving their diction. ‘Maybe I was truly the problem.’ A thought had snuck up in the crevices of your brain until the mental image of why you didn’t come over as often decided to grace you with his presence. A shiver traveled up north of your spine, straightening yourself out mentally and physically. ‘Nah. That doesn’t sound right. I am NOT the problem.’ 
Toji was everything Megumi was not; cocky, arrogant, and trying to start anything with anyone if they remotely looked in his direction the wrong way. Was he hot? Of course. Would you ever admit it to the bastard? Of course, you wouldn’t. This is why what unfolds before you felt as if some cruel divine punishment, curated by the highest demon in the belly that cradled hell, deciding today would be the day to toy with you.
Closing your phone with a little, ‘Ding!’ Megumi had sent a text earlier entailing that something of your belonging had been left behind. Strangely enough, even he didn’t know what it was, which left a question of perplexity. All he knew was that his dad found it and to alert you about it. 
A sigh that had built up in the depths of your chest left, as you stood behind the mahogany-colored door. Praying that Megumi would just give the item so a beeline can be made as far as legs can sprint. Bringing a hand to the door, tapping with a fist, “Megumi? It’s me.”
With a shuffling heard from inside the house, the sound of the door unlocked and a slow swing revealed no one behind it. Stepping inside carefully and scooping out the area, an eyebrow raised as the familiar setting had no one in eyesight. Closing and locking the door behind, your voice even more confused, “Megumi? Hello? I thought you’d be here.” 
In plain eye view, coming around a corner stood the looming presence of a man that was hard to ignore. Leaning up against the counter behind, a protein shake in hand as his body seems depleted from a workout session. Glistening in sweat, he stood there devastatingly handsome. A simple white tank top clung onto his pectorals, highlighting the ridges of his stone-hard abs while the pump of his presumed workout caused his already massive biceps to look the size of planets. His gray sweats hung low off his slim core. He eyed you up and down as if inspecting every single thing about you.
“Oh yeah. My son's little friend was expecting you here.” He spoke in a casual tone, eyes met yours for a split second before eyeing you down in a carnal way.
Standing in place, mentally making note of killing Megumi for not being the one to give you what was missing from his home. Only leaving you to deal with his father.
He gripped something behind him his fingers grazing what seemed to be a bit lightweight. A light thud of a journal hit the island counter that stood between the pair. Eyes glancing down on what was thrown carelessly, the journal looked all too familiar.
My diary– fuck. All forms of color had drained from the hue of your face, replaced with a crimson flush. Frantically blinking up at the journal, your thoughts blared. ‘There’s no way he could’ve read it right?’ Almost sprinting at the piece of media, fingertips yanked it off the island forcibly gluing it to your chest almost to shield it from eyes it doesn’t belong to. 
Eyes darting back and forth frantically searching for relief in such a predicament, in a measly voice, “T-Thank you Mr. Fushiguro, it was very kind of you to give it back. I-I’ll be leaving now.”
He had only watched amused, but it wasn’t stated within his facial expression. If anything his demeanor was calm– his body leaned back at the counter behind him, legs crossed over one another while he wore what seemed to be a completely uninterested face.
“Smart girl. Probably read a lot, huh?” 
Clutching the diary tighter to your chest, almost impossibly close, furrowed eyebrows and a snap of a neck towards his direction. A low, barely audible, “H-huh?” 
“My favorite passage is where the narrator states that, ‘Toji is probably compensating his small dick for huge muscles.’” He chuckled deeply, taking a swing of his protein shake before setting it to the side.
Frozen in place, eyes widened, simply just going quiet. I mean– what could be said? For a moment so intense, all that ran through your mind was complete blankness.
“Kinda find it endearing how the narrator only uses vibrators on her clit because the idea of penetration ‘arouses’ yet ‘scares’ her.”
“Mr. Fushiguro did you r-rea-“ stated in an incredibly shaky voice. Embarrassed, wishing that the ground would do you good bidding and swallow you whole with no hesitation. He still looked calm, ridiculing every aspect of you, his eyes had darkened a bit due to pupil dilation.
Everything felt tense, hot, incredibly warm, a moment of heat transpiring between the two of you as eyes met one another. Except both eyes said a different story. His; was full of something that could only be described that an animal gets knowing that they had successfully captured their prey right where they were needed. Yours; full of complete self-pity, begging to be freed under the gaze of something that will eat you alive and leave no bones.
“Do you think that Toji's character might appreciate the narrator calling him ‘hot but probably hotter with his mouth shut?’” His large arms bulged, and crossed over his chest, enjoying every minute that left you squirming under his condescending gaze. You looked like something had caught your throat and any form of attitude seemed to exist on the lines written in the diary. 
Tilting his head, on cue his hair moved as well, his expression seeming bleak. “Aw, wish I could meet this narrator, express to her how far off she is from the truth. Seems the type to talk a lot but get quiet when confronted.”
With a croak of your throat you managed to speak in a weak voice, “Mr. Fushiguro I am so sor-”
A silky voice met your ears, “Megumi taught me a bit about books. You know what’s funny about narrators sometimes?”
“W-what?” Your voice croaked.
“They’re unreliable.”
“Want to know something else funny?”
Body shifting off the ledge of the counter his bulky body slowly walked, emerald eyes glancing down while you stared up with the most innocent expression. ‘Cute,’ he thought. Staring down, a waft of his natural musky scent hit your nasal passages. He towered right in front of you. His long finger gripped a loose strand of your hair, twirling it mockingly.
He juxtaposed the flustered expression drawn on your face, a grin that stretched from ear to ear, a sly expression painting a look of hunger. “Yeah,” his tongue swiped at his bottom lip, voice dropping a few octaves, “it’s tiny even.”
-
On the checklist of things you hated about Toji, you mentally jotted down that he was a liar. He was a complete liar. 
Knees blown out, nose buried deep into his neatly trimmed pubic hair, lips trying to adhere to a girth that wasn’t friendly to take down, saliva coating your chin and seeping through the cracks of the side of your lips, and mascara smeared down the sides of your cheek. 
Toji was anything but tiny. A huge hand gripped the back of your skull, yanking at the follicles of your hair bouncing your head back and forth on his dick. He had to be 8 inches at least.
Gagging and whimpers filled the air, as you pathetically took down all the length he forced down. Your eyes beaming with tears, while he looked down at yours mockingly. Eyebrows slightly furrowed at the feeling of your tight throat clinging onto his cock like a vice. He smirked staring you down as you struggle to take him in, light pants escaped from his throat as spit slowly exited his mouth, meeting the exposed part of his dick and a part of your face.
“Slow down sweetheart, shit,” a condescending laugh, “I’m not going anywhere.” He hissed in a bit feeling your tongue desperately lap up and down his cock as you took the initiative to get completely lost in the feeling. 
It was all too lewd– he had stopped guiding you by bobbing your head, but kept a firm hold; all you did was suck him as if your life depended on it. His hefty cock felt divine to the tastebuds, weighing heavy down your throat and around your tongue. Frantically allowing your tongue to brush over the large veins running throughout his shaft, your hands jerking off what you could, letting the room fill up with the wet squelches. Moaning onto his cock the vibrations cued a grunt from Toji, sucking his massive tip with a ‘pop!’ He pulled you away, noticing the whine in your face when separated from his dick. He laid it on your face, grin sprawled out. 
“You suck dick good for a girl who only gets off to filthy fantasies about a man who she hates.” 
Panting, studying him while feeling incredibly small under his stare, catching your breath. So perfect, you looked so perfect to him.
“Fuck- I could just cum looking at your face like this,” gripping your hair earning a mewl from your throat, he held onto his dick tapping the tip of your tongue repeatedly, he grinned wider noticing how you desperately leaned into every tap. “Heh, want more huh? Coulda came from your throat, rather fuck it in your little pussy instead. I could tell you were a cock-deprived whore from the start.”
All you could do was blink up at him, gulping at everything he was saying, a new wave of arousal crashing down in your panties. Eyebrows furrowed, keeping steady eye contact with him, he noticed your fucked out expression. 
“Aw? No back-talk? Seem to have a lot to run your mouth about in that little diary, girl. Do you even remember your name? Already trained you well without stretching you out? Or does it make you feel ashamed to be this wet in the house of a man you hate so much? Do you have no shame?”
“I-I’m,” you cleared your hoarse voice swallowing any bit of saliva that didn’t engulf his cock, “not wet.”
He blankly stared down at your face before a loud chuckle eroded from his body, shaking him slightly, “Darling, you’re practically dripping on my kitchen floors. You think I can’t see you clenching your thighs f’me?”
“I-it’s not for y-you, Mr. Fushiguro-“
“Cut the shit, it’s Toji. Stand up.”
Pushing your knees off the position they were in for the longest time, you whined and stumbled while Toji watched amused. Standing on your feet, wobbling, he did the honors of throwing you over his shoulder eliciting a loud gasp as your torso made contact and leaned into his broad shoulders. His fingers lightly grazed your wet folds that leaked through your leggings, causing a slight gasp.
He only chuckled again, walking to his master bedroom. “Not wet, my ass.”
-
You’re not sure what round this was, but being thrown like a rag-doll by a man who easily overpowered every aspect of you was not how you expected this visit to go. He did the honors of prepping you for hours long– edging you and making sure you were on the brink of insanity so taking his cock in would feel much more manageable. At first, you winced taking him in, but the pain subsided once the overwhelming bliss of pleasure overtook all feelings of discomfort.
Toji started by fucking his tip in, rocking back and forth to let you become accustomed slightly. He quickly learned that you were nothing more than a cock-deprived whore.
“T-toji, y-you’re, ah! Breakin’ me!”
“Good.” His face had a wild expression, grinning ear to ear, his long onyx hair clinging to parts of his forehead from sweat while the rest dangled in your face. This man just found his new favorite plaything, he’d be damned to stop this. 
Toji had you mangled in a mating press, feet planted firmly into his mattress, feeling every last bit of dick he could give. Holding your thighs back with large hands, he drilled into your poor cunt, legs hanging off his broad shoulders, the sounds of skin-on-skin vibrating in the room alongside his pants, and your loud moans.
“T-toji, ah! I-I’m sorry, t-too,” a deeper thrust sent a harsh quiver from your lips while his lips dropped low to your ear, “Too! Big! Cant!”
Grunting into your ear, the same smirk plastered on his face. He angled himself even deeper, never stopping the rhythm, slamming his inches into you. All you could do was take it and moan desperately. Head thrown back while eyes rolled back into your skull. 
“Don’t” thrust, “care.” He stated casually in your ear while his voice grew huskier, “Gonna fuck my cum into this lil’ ah, fuck, pussy. Make sure it only learns how to take me in.” He chuckled while he never stopped drilling, he pulled all the way out, leaving only the tip in. Causing you to pant rapidly at the loss of dick, hating how empty yet incredibly full you felt just from his tip alone.
“P-Please, please Toji, please,” fingers dug into his biceps in a fucked out voice, “don’t stop.”
“Aw,” he placed his forehead atop yours, mockingly cooing at the mess you’ve become. “Why should I let you cum?” He whispered now, lips ghosting over your own, “Had a lot to say about me being tiny but your greedy little cunt is both clinging onto me and stretching out. Disgusting girl” 
“I’m so so so so sorry, Toji I promise I’ll be good, I’ll be so good.” Frantically scanning over his face, your body still throbbing from the positions he put you in. Meanwhile, he felt just as warm to the touch, the feeling of sex coated him entirely his composure not faltering.
Wrapping a strong hand around your throat he tightened his grip as he pummeled right into you at once, body jerking forward at the sudden stretch. A loud gasp and moan abruptly left your mouth. Before he could continue pumping into you, his lips still hovering over yours, he had a cocky smile still etched onto his face.
“Sent Megumi off with his little friends, they’re having a sleepover.” His smirk deepened, “Oh don’t worry, you’ll be proving to me how good of a whore you’ll be for me all night.” He scoffed, “Maybe then in your little diary you can write about how good I fuck you.” He pulled out yet again, suddenly feeling his body weight push off your body entirely, making you whine at the loss of sensation in your cunt and body. In an instant, he flipped you over.
Back arched completely, chest pressed down into the sprawled-out duvet, legs spread out ready for him to obliterate all self-dignity you had left, his knee pushed into the bed behind you. Placing his socked foot in the back of your head, he gripped his cockhead dragging it along your puffy folds. Moaning slightly at the feeling of contact as he circled his massive tip around your clit, your eyes fluttered shut again. Drool seeped through the sides of your mouth not caring that this man had stolen all sense of respect you once held for yourself.
“Now,” his voice husky again grunting as his cock slowly teased at your entrance before shoving it in at a tantalizing pace. Staring in awe at your hole as it glistened, hearing your cunt squelch around his thick width, “Hear her for me?” Physically tightening at the words he just said, he let out a slight grunt.
“Mhm,” you let out a mangled noise which caused him to chuckle, feeling his foot press deeper onto the back of your head while your fingers desperately gripped at the sheets below. 
“Maybe,” he pushed himself in, a wild smile on his face while he heard you whimper below, thrashing around still not used to a length this immense. “You should listen to her more often than that dumb little brain of yours princess.” 
Swiftly gripping your wrist, he firmly pinned it back at the small of your back, while rapidly thrusting in and out all at once. “Ah! Ah! T-Toji… So! Hnghhh, G-Good,” moans incredibly muffled as they were pushed into the sheets, cunt gripping onto him every time he moved in and out.
Grunting at the view of your ass clapping back at his pelvic region every time he drilled inside, your walls trying their hardest to take him. He only cackled before whistling, harshly slamming a hand down on your ass letting it recoil with a red mark left behind.
“Should’ve told you I read that stupid diary ages ago…”
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Gojo ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ Failed date
“Ding! New message from ‘toruu.’” The robotic voice announced in your headphones, breaking you from wallowing in your sorrowful haze.
Shuffling in your bed, trying to forget the events that unfolded earlier today, your hand reached out to your nightstand fidgeting around to find your phone. You thought maybe lying down with sad music blaring in your ears would help, but spoiler; it did not. Groaning slightly while your eyes try to adjust to the phone's brightness. A failed date equated to a failed day, lo and behold, your eccentric friend was at your side ready to wipe away any discomfort. 
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Shifting your body upwards, a smile couldn’t help but be formed at his words. At the end of the day, the guy was just that, a guy. There was nothing to stress over. Was there a slight skip in a heartbeat hearing Satoru speak fondly upon you? Yes. But that’s all that there was. Risking a friendship with him wasn’t worth it in the grand scheme. He was appealing in all senses, there was no surprise that girls and boys alike flocked to him like candy. Getting laid wasn’t exactly the objective, but hanging onto things that weren’t feasible was. 
Joking with Satoru came second nature, but having him become defensive over a harmless joke startled you a bit. ‘There’s no way he’s acting like this.’ Nibbling at your bottom lip staring at him laughing in all caps. Is he being defensive? Eyes moving back and forth on the screen questioning what to say next, the conversation continued.
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Snickering to yourself, ‘Oh, so he IS being defensive.’ The thought danced around in your head, rolling eyes at every other thing he texted. “There is no way he is serious,” mumbling to yourself like a madman in the dead of night alone while speaking to nothing but the screen at hand. 
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A light ping indicated that your message was sent, as you glanced at the dots that appeared from his end. Breath slightly hitching at what he stated next.
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Eyes widening, breath caught in throat quickly throwing the phone down face first as your face burnt. Breathing shallow breaths to catch up, time felt a bit still before shaking hands gripped the phone, and slowly brought it into your line of sight. 
My God was Satoru Gojo, huge.
His tip was a light dusty pink, almost made to be kissed, forming a beautiful head that had a bead of translucent precum decorating the slit. The shaft was thick, matching his milky pale tone and fading into an ombre ending right where the tip started. His veins were many, mapped out all around his shaft, up and down, a prominent one stood at the center. It looked heavy, he appeared to be standing up in the picture. A white-happy trail formed alongside the end of his abs and faded around into his neatly groomed bush. You blinked slowly, taking in the image of your best friend’s fat cock. He wasn’t lying. At all. He had to be pushing 8 inches and more. This was the image alone, thumb hovering slightly over the video attachment. Feeling your cunt pulsate slightly and clit growing a bit hard, shuffling some more. 
‘I can't be getting wet over my friend. This is so wrong, he’s probably joking too right? Guys do this all the time with their guy friends. Except, I’m not a guy…’
Biting the bullet and taking the initiative, clicking the video attachment was a wrong, wrong idea. Still, in the same position, his gray sweat pushed down his mid-thigh, the flash was strong in the video. In your ears, everything was heard. Still standing erect, you could hear him lightly chuckle, almost as if he was taunting you in the same room. For some reason, the slick heat flooded more, He brought his large veiny hand, placing it side by side with his cock, holy shit, it was larger than his hand. He spoke your name in a sultry voice one that sent waves crashing down your pussy, a voice that you’ve never heard before. 
“You already know how big my hand is, I mean you’ve held it before. Do with that information what you will.” You could hear the smirk in his voice before plopping on the bed before him, a soft grunt echoed in your ears. So his dick was heavy, it flopped straight on his abs which elicited a laugh on his end. 
“Sorry, I couldn't send you it while lying down. It’s a bit too heavy.” With that, the video ended. Gulping and staring dumbfounded, your fingers anxiously wrote whatever they could, trying to keep any semblance of a friendly demeanor. 
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Sighing while rolling your eyes at his behavior, mentally sighing that he's back acting like the immature soul he’s always been. Guess, it’s time to rely on the good ol’ vibrator to solve this problem. Knowing him he’d probably hang this compliment over your head for eternity and that was that with this conversation, which is why what he stated startled you a bit.
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Staring at the screen once more, feeling a bit anxious about his response. All that could be thought of is if the wrong thing was said to him. He’d be over the moon hearing that his cock is big as fuck, right? Sighing while dropping your shoulders and clicking the side button to shut the phone off, eyes closing once more while the back of your head met the soft headboard. 
“Ding! New message from: ‘toruu.’”
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Eyes widening, the heat still pooling in your lace panties, thanking yourself for another failed date. Within ten minutes the phone was chucked out of hand, racing to get ready for his arrival even though it wasn’t the typical hangout.
Slipping on a lacy, cerulean bra and throwing it on, keeping the same undies on having a feeling that the slick wetness would be favored for you both, fixing your hair, spritzing a gourmand perfume, applying a bubble-gum colored lip gloss, and pulling on a light blue hoodie, tight black spandex shorts, with black house sandals. It wasn’t long before a certain man rang the doorbell.
Rushing to the door while maintaining some form of composure and unlocking it to be met with piercing eyes and a shit-eating grin towering over you. He wore the same sweats in the video and a black hoodie that did very little to hide his massive frame.
“Hi,” he stated in his typical voice, eyes looking over his glasses down at your face, as he put one strong arm over the doorframe. “Hello, ‘Toru…” audibly speaking so only he heard, while a light blush scattered across your face.
“Heard your date got canceled or whatever, what a bummerrrrrrr.” He rolled his eyes exaggerating his disdain due to unexpected plans. “Gonna let me in?” His voice stated in a whisper while studying the curves of your body. 
Slightly nodding, shifting to the side to let the tall figure in, a waft of his cologne hit all senses and shot straight to your core. 
While he walked in, your hand pressed against the doorframe closing it and locking it before a large hand turned you around. Gasping at the sudden feel of his hand around your waist, while the rest of your body was pushed against the door. Staring up at his face, not recognizing the look displayed on his usual happy-go-lucky face, painted a darkened expression of desire. Satoru pressed your chest against the front of his body, pushing you closer by the hand on the back of your waist. Caging you in his embrace, the other hand laid flat behind the door.
Smelling his sweet breath from the various candies he indulged in, the air hit the tip of your nose while his lips were merely inches away from your own. 
“No offense,” his voice silky, smooth, and deeper than usual, “Kinda glad this asshole bailed on you. Wouldn’t know what to do with a woman like you anyways.” His smile deepened while you responded by cupping his soft face in both hands. 
Breath a bit higher than a whisper, lips almost touching his while his grip on your waist felt stronger, “Oh, yeah ‘Toru, and you know what to do?” 
Feeling a vibration from his chest against your frame, as a laugh erupted from him, he stared into your eyes intensely. “Let me kiss your lips and show you. I think you know by now my words match up with my actions.”
Almost on command, both of you smashed your lips into one another savoring the feeling of tasting what you wanted for so long. Mutually moaning slightly upon the impact, Satoru quickly moved his large hands to caress all over your tinier frame. Ass, waist, thighs, hair, neck, his long slender fingers were everywhere, anywhere, every chance he could get to press you impossibly close to him.
Mouth agape, he took it as an opportunity to slip his tongue in, slithering it around your mouth while your tongue circled his own. Hands entangled in his hair, tilting your head, and on cue, he did the same. Tongues squelching and roaming each other's mouths as if you’ve been thirsty and the only cure was one another. His hands finally stop at your ass, giving a light squeeze before carrying you up, wrapping your legs around his torso.
Breaking away faces mimicking a blush on both faces, a string of saliva connecting your lips. Slightly panting as your forehead meets his, he stares deeply into your eyes. “Cute and all,” he says still in a haze, “but those weren’t the lips I was talking about.”
-
Hovering over his torso, while your mouth was stuffed with his huge cock. Hungrily lapping up his dick with your tongue, your hand wrapped around his base in a circular motion going up and down while your mouth struggled slightly to take the entirety of him in. Moans sent vibrations across his huge shaft, he was so big, so so so big. You loved every minute of it, it was evident with the sticky residue of cum that formed on his thighs and pubic hair from the previous rounds you’d gone. Saliva pooled on his dick, to rest on his balls and underneath his thighs. 
It was a mess, “Mhm!” You panted, separating yourself from having his cock buried down your throat but quickly attaching your lips at the head, smearing precum on like a lip product. Lapping the precum up and down the slit, before indulging his length back in. “Sa-Satoru- Ah! S-Stop!” Lips making a ‘pop!’ noise after pulling his dick from your throat, hands still echoing a wet sound as they both rapidly jerked him off.
Gojo laid on his back his face stuffed in your cunt, “Cant, ahhhh, too good,” His voice sounding hoarse. Bringing his head up even further into your slick heat, he licked long strips with his tongue from clit, hole, and ass. Both of his large hands spread your cheeks apart, your discharge soaking the bottom half of his face. He dove in head first, nose pressed directly in your pussy while his mouth harshly sucked at your clit, twirling it around his tongue effortlessly. Years of sucking on candy couldn’t compare to this. Pulling away both hands from your ass, he placed them on the front of your thighs, forcing you to sit on his face with a welp that broke away the string of moans.
Continuing to jerk him off, your eyes crossed while spitting down his length, feeling him twitch slightly under your motion. You mewled, “Mhpmh! Satoruuuuuuu!”
Harshly sucking on it before pulling away, he kissed your clit before dragging his head around in a circular motion licking all around like a madman. He closed his eyes and buried his tongue deep in your walls that tightened and contracted around him. Bobbing his head back and forth, tongue fucking your tiny hole, thumb diligently working in circles on your swollen clit. Slowly feeling your high soon approaching in waves and feeling him twitch even more violently underneath you. 
He moaned deep into your cunt while high-pitched yells escaped your throat, “Oh! Oh! Oooooh! Oh, Satoru! I’m c-cumm- ah!” Soon enough, Satoru’s face was full of liquid when your orgasm arrived. Sticking a tongue out noticing him jerk in your hands, closing your eyes, while cum painting your tongue and face. Swallowing him all while quivering from the impact of cumming all over his face.
For once in your life, this was the most quiet Satoru has ever been. 
Breaking away from your cunt, Satoru took a deep breath, laughing to himself shakily.
“Fuck, I should pay men more often not to date you.”
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mywons · 10 months
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BOOM BIAS LIST WRECKED
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this is completely unprovoked by the way u guys. astra js likes bullying me because she thinks its FUNNY. but goddamn theyre so fine (not gonna speak tew much on ki bc my bsf is insane ab her man) BUT! lord hoon and hee need to hmu NEOOOOWW
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chososcamgirl · 20 days
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hihi i dont really make my presence noticeable on this app but i rlly like your posts and ur soo funny and i like ur name ur just sooo alpha sigma to me and ur my only follower i love u so much i could just nom nom nom 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩
HI ANT!!!!!! ohohoho u think im funny [licks lips]…. (sorry i recycle the joke a lot i know) but ant ur blog is so mysterious like it reminds me of that one guy standing far away at a funeral dressed in all black and sunglasses and then disappears when u look away…
U LIKE MY NAME?? ur making me giggle like a school girl rn.. my little beta😈 (sorry furrytwt got to me) and im honoured to be ur only follower 🫵 i love u tew ant let’s kiss 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩
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tteokdoroki · 1 year
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I got you, I can and will talk about the recent Isagi you just posted. He’s literally melting my brain as we speak, I’d go so crazy stupid if he ever showed an ounce of that possession over me, I think it would kill me. And the way he’s so perfect and nice to the reader when it’s just them, but as soon as another man shows up he turns into the most possessive and evil man ever? Ough, my heart.
AND THE FACT THAT IT ALL WORKED OUT FOR HIM CAUSE SHE WANTS TO DATE HIM NOW?! He won, I’ve won, I think we were all winners here, shaking hands. That possession would get so much worse when they’re dating, oh my god
AND THE FACT THAT HIS TEAM KNOWS BUT JUST LETS IT HAPPEN? Crazy, thanks guys for being in on it, you’ve helped Isagi bag his dream girl
that fic drove me crazy stupid and turned my brain off, I WILL be thinking about him at minimum for the rest of the day, most likely for the rest of the week. Thank you for the food
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sob sob thank u omg ur so nice tew me :(
i just think that isagi would absolutely be possessive over you no matter WHAT it’s instinctual to him not even on purpose !! he would murder a man for you if given the opportunity that’s how much he wants to be your one and only !! what a sick freak!!
PLEASKEJFJF SHAKING HANDIEIWKE you’re so funny i am smiling like a little court jester !!! the team is in on it cause they’re sick of isagi whining abt how ur not his 😔 they think it’s over when u start dating but it gets worse
BUT ANYWAYS I HOPE U HAVE A GOOD DAY thank u for this ask u have severely cheered me up, kissing ur brain so much
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bwambiee · 9 months
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omg wait stop i also live on the east coast too!! 🥹🥹 and nyc is always pretty during Christmas hehe — I hope you guys have fun and check out the Christmas markets too!!
your holiday plans are super similar to me and chosos… we’re actually also planning a trip to nyc soon hehe we’re gonna be ice skating and checking out union square market, I heard they have the best food stalls and hot chocolate!! and afterwards we’re probably going to attempt gift shopping for everyone… my wallet won’t be happy after that — ooh and of course we’re going to be stopping by ktown to pick up beauty supplies and dinner hehe
ooh but I hope you guys enjoy seeing the Rockefeller tree hehe I always try and go every year and the area around there is just too cute — even more amazing at night with all the lights on!!!
gasp !! dooby ‘n kayla livin’ on da east coast ?! when worlds collide ୧((〃•̀ꇴ•〃))૭⁺ but dooby ohmigosh ‘m so sorrie i didn’t see dis earlier :(( tumby was supa slow in notifying dat u visited mi mailbox so if dis is late hav dis yummie 🧁 treat tew make up for it ! i hav to tell u all abt da visit to nyc bcz it was soo fun ! yoichi was actually super duper good at navigating (which is surprising bcz i’ve been dere more times then him but he knew how to use da subways on da first try . . ૮₍ •⤙•˶ hmph ! )
oh prettie pls tell mi all abt your trip wif choso bcz we jus did exactly that ! we didn’t get tew check da union square market sawbzz but we did spend most of our time in soho tew do our shoppin’ ! ‘n i found da cutest place eva ohemgee i must show u a pic bcz this wittle shop sold jelly kitties ‘n around dat area was anotha shoppin’ place (i saw dis cardboard cutout of choso ‘n thought of u hwehe choso must be findin’ it funnie tew see himself as a cardboard) ‘n das where i splurged on makeup ₍ᐢ. ̯.ᐢ₎ yoichi was givin’ mi his disappointed face but i made it up to him by takin’ him to k-town ‘n goin’ to da bestest place . . tous le jours !! ‘n after dat i found dis yummie ‘n cute lil hole in da wall where they bingsoo wif makgeolli mixed in ‘n it was mhm mhm mhm !
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whyse7vn · 1 year
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SHUTUPSHUTUP I NEED YOONGI SO BAD 😞😞😞💔💔💔💔 HIS TWITTER PFP AND BIO ...... "pfp by y/n." HES SO?????? 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞 those twts r SO GEWD ur brain is sexy as hell for coming up with that tbh!
yoongi blocking tae for peace of mind is literally me . BLOCK BUTTON IS RLLY HELPFUL GUYS 🤞🤞 them saying shit about joon's personality and spreading their druggie joon agenda ?!?? PLEASESEESEDS THIS IS WHY JOON IS GONNA RETIRE EARLY
and hello??? i love how yoongi is being more vocal about how he and y/n got something going on 😍 talk ur shit bae!!!! ALSO ANOTGER OPTION FOR Y/N SLUT LIST IS SHOWNU OR I.M 😈😈
genuinely one of ur best posts and one of my faves 😋 thank u for existing and creating these funny posts ! i just woke up and first thing i did was read that and now im in a silly good mood 😘
RIGHT HE JUST SOSOSOSOS BF LIKE UGH. u inflate my ego tew much omg >>>.<<<<<
IM ACTUALLY ENJOYING THE TWITTER THING SO MUCH IM GLAD YOU LIKE IT
shownu and i.m officially noted bff ;)
blushing as usual love u >.<
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bbina · 5 months
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omgggg I can’t believe btl is over 😭😭
IT WAS SUCH A GOOD RIDE THANK YOU USER BBINA!! u really cooked with that last line too btw?!?
seriously i love love loved ittt so much, i’m gonna reread from the start again soon!!
very excited for your next au too!! whenever you’re ready 🙂‍↕️
also I’m happy to be a part of the bbinaverse, your anons are so funny ! never been part of an anonverse since i normally don’t even send messages, but it has been so fun fr💕
-🎀
I KNNOWWWW eueueueu btl rlly is over </3
the title drop ate so hard huh... I LOVE TITLE DROPS IN EVERY FIC ITS TEW GEWD...
im still a little undecided on which smau to post but lets go with a refreshing one for now cus i think wb's next smau will be a lil mature.. well not rlly but in my head it does sound mature LMFAO
im rlly so proud of how bbinaverse became what it is... YOU GUYS ARE SO FUCKING FUNNY IT LITERALLY MAKES MY DAY EACH TIME ONE OF YALL POP ON AND JUST START DISCOURSE OR WHATEVER.. like author like anons i guess... we're all funny here 😔 also not to mention how a bunch of yall kept saying i was the first tumblr user yall were sending anons to?? if that doesnt say anything then idk what will..
thank you so much for reading bow anon!! hope you had a fun time!!
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fapper · 1 year
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Ok so this is wayyy looking into things but. Yesterday i came to office hrs with someone and a guy friend i had since freshman yr also came in and when i saw him i waved wayy too enthusisticaly and he looked away, did an awkward/ mocking-ish??? Smile into the distance and gave a weak ass hand wave back like tf????? Wtf is so funny. I got suspicious of it cuz hes a part of a club that the ugly nerd who crushes me is also in soooo i thought theres smt going on idfk. Just smt i observed 🙊 is this tew mentally ill of me help. I was just a little upset like why r u reacting that way…
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isa-ghost · 3 years
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Hooby Heeby Time to Watch Mandela Catalogue
THINK
Ah fuck me this weird grainy TTS voice shit always spooks me
But in that way yall JSE followers usually see me being horny for Anti. Its that Good Spooky
Hold the fuck up I gotta grab me some chips n dip we strappin in
OOH WE DOIN SOME DOPPELGANGER SHIT, POGGERS
Tag urself I’m bighead man in the middle
TELL an authority member about your encounter. Hm no I dont think I will, we’re gonna be besties and do crime
Identify the class type?? Ok so this is some SCP shit now
...Wait I’m thinking of Anti bc of that oh.
THE WAY I CRACKED THE FUCK UP AT “KILL YOURSELF” I WASNT EXPECTING THAT LMAOOO
NAH. NAH THAT FACE AT 2:22 IS STRAIGHT UP JUST SOME WALTEN FILES SHIT NAH. I SEE YOU
Type 3: Slender Man
hey not to be rude but fuck that thing in the corner he needs to make like socialism and distribute that tall equally. to me. give me some tall
VOL 1
Gotta say, the patriotic music in the background of this urgent emergency broadcast message is really fucking funny to me
Can’t use psychological warfare on me if I do it to myself already *that What meme music plays as the camera freezes on my dumb face*
T.H.I.N.K. THIS TOWN AINT BIG ENOUGH FOR THE TEW OF US /spits into bucket
Oh fuck yeah we in that analog horror babieeee
Idk Victim 2 kinda hot
Cesar huh 😏
Cesar haunted house poggies
Am I gonna regret jokingly simping
MICHAEL JACKSON??
OH NO GIRL THAT STUTTER BEFORE THE CALL CONTINUED SOUNDED LIKE THAT FREAKY AUDIO FROM THE WALTEN FILES THAT I WAS YELLING ABOUT A WHILE BACK
I have decided I do not like the stairway cam
New gender unlocked: Suddenly Open Door
O NO CESAR TURNED INTO A FOOTPRINT
“It followed me home, Cesar”
Me, chugging my flavored water rn:
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I DONT WANT YOUR PRESENT UNLESS ITS A SEXY DEMON OC I CAN SIMP FOR
...I was mindin my business watching and my Discord crashed. When I paused my Discord came back and as soon as I unpaused MC again it crashed again. Hm.
WAIT WHO LAUGHIN LIKE THAT ITS KINDA SEXY 😳
You cant give me unhinged man laughter I just simp
UH OH! YOU MADE A SERIOUS FUCKY W U C K Y. NOW YOU HAVE TO GO IN the forever box.
When am I gonna stop memeing and start shitting in fear
HEY WHATS WITH AO ONI FACE ASS, NUH UH FUCK YOU BRO
But nobody came :)
HEHE ITS THE FUNNY TTS VOICE IN THOSE MEMES
When the caller has an emergency, contact the weewoo wagon
OH MY MANS CAN HOLD A LOW NOTE GO TTS MAN GO
Do not help a caller reporting an alternate encounter?? Bitch that sounds like something that should be your job. >America moment 🙄
“Nothing is worth the wait, nothing is worth the wait” Oh hello that’s getting saved as an idea for my OC shit later
Toddler stress responses?? Oh we in some psychology now, this my major :00 *waits for the horrific shit to happen*
I THOUGHT THE CLICK BETWEEN THE AUDIO PLAYING AND RECORDING RESPONSE TIME WAS A GUN COCKING FLAKSDF DONT SHOOT THE BABY
SHEEPIES :D
There’s a man in the closet? Its 2021, let him come out. He’s valid
Gonna be real with you I paused here for at least 10 min bc my streamer distracted me with a fart video
*sees hooded smiling man* *and then goes to sleep the end!!!!* HM YEP THATS NOT BAD AT ALL
iM SORRY BUT HOODED MANS EYES LOOK GOOFY ASF IM DYIN HIS SUDDEN APPEARANCE COULDNT SCARE ME
Why he look like a drug addict tho. He want sum crack
Curse my Gen Z humor, this is literally so funny to me and for what
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OVERTHRONE
OH HEY ITS THE FAITH GAME TTS GUY WASUP DUDE
Hm that whispering’s not very pogchamp
WELL THATS A WHACK ASS MOOD CHANGE END CARD
INTRUDER ALERT
Who is this man, he looks like he did a crime
This TTS voice sounds like a Karen
Me coping with the creepy baby crying by focusing on how that saturated af pic of the crib makes it look like the blanket is just a giant slice of cheddar cheese:
Wtf is this music >_>
Yeah no I expected the hanging whoop there it is
GOD NO I HATE THIS EMERGENCY BLOOPING BECAUSE AS A KID I WAS TERRIFIED OF TORNADOES AND IT’D SCREECH ON THE TV WHEN SHIT GOT RLLY BAD
OVER 3000 CHILDREN MISSING W H A T
Okay how does all of this stuff connect bc I’m gettin interested and my crackhead hours are winding down
M.A.D
Okay the man in the corner boutta catch these fuckin hands
I am ironically so tired after the busy day I had I s2g I’m gonna pass out soon and some weird shit’s gonna go down in my dreams wish me luck
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I diagnose u with : the funny mutual- this is my main but I’m @ratocon😼
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u guys are tew much you ALL make me laugh so much, this fandom has the best sense of humour by far 🥺🥰
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maychild · 4 years
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sotus the series ep. 15--finale
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the fab five as freshmen?!!! hahahahahahaha
PREM WITH GLASSES??! NOPE DID NOT NEED THAT. i already love the guy, don’t need to add sexy glasses into the mix. 
“After our last class ends, our seniors will wait for us at the door, and take us to get yelled at and punished. They will torture us in that room until they’re satisfied.”
oh bright, u never disappoint. aka a brief summary of the thai hazing culture.
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this flashback...getting major déjà vu...
OH SNAP, KNOT
(he was seriously acting like how prem acted in the beginning--volatile and quick to anger and it’s just like...what the hell happened to knot to make him the calm, cool, and collected force that he is in his third year??)
ahhh, tum and fon as third years! and the story they recounted at their wedding!
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“if you had to punish me right now, what punishment would it be?”
“i don’t know. i can’t just randomly punish people.”
“what about...shouting loudly that i love you three times? does that sound good?”
“you’re crazy, that’s funny.”
“you told me to do it before.”
...really had to try hard not to have my mind in the gutter here.
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...the only indication we have that this is a flash-forward is that it says “Engineer 61″ and kongpob’s class were “Engineer 59″ (and arthit’s were “Engineer 57″...if u wanted to know these random, useless facts.)
first tew comes out, then m, then kongpob, THEN WAD??? then oak? aka the fab five version 2.0 
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OH WAD U’VE COME BACKKKKKKK U PRECIOUS BEANNN U 
...man, still don’t like that faculty of engineering song.
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this professor is still handsome
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“I have my duty as head of the hazers. But I also have my duty...as your boyfriend.”
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THESE TWO DORKS I SWEAR
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“I miss you, Kong”
he called him ~kong, not his full name akdjdsklfjdkslfjdskf
wHYYY WOULD U LET HIM READ YOUR DIARY, KONGPOB??? it must be a cultural thing, or maybe i’m more of a private person, but ewwww, noooo. this honestly made me so anxious.
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i love that they gave us so much fluff this last episode. is it disappointing that we won’t see the other two full years they were dating and going to the same school?? yeah, but i’m honestly okay with this flash-forward too. they had to establish arthit as a working man, and they had to establish kongpob as head hazer, and that was enough for one last ep. (i know we’ll get some scenes in the second season featuring their school days as a couple and that’s all i ask for--i’m okay with even just little snippets, i don’t need full episodes.)
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i...don’t know if sotus s will be my next drama??? honestly so many things to watch, so little time. and i’m more excited to start My Engineer or Until We Meet Again, and SOTUS, unfortunately, didn’t end up being my favoritest drama i’ve watched so far, so i’ll put the second season on the backburner for now...SOTUS *might* end up in my top ten or top five favorite dramas, but i need to watch more than one or two BL dramas to really put it in any spot.
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