#u don't know if ur post is in a community being engaged with. like just interact with my post in the normal way of things pls id like to see

[straycollectorenjin]

i don't understand the point of tumblr communities and at this point im too scared to ask

[hollowandcoldanddark]

i hate shoutout posts, so this is like... a whisper to every single fucking system who can't be in therapy. who arent safe. live with abusers. who dont have the money, dont have the location, cant find a therapist. who cant do this shit.

i think that most advice from the internet is like... if you have did go to therapy and i bet thats useful if u can have it but if you cant, its so isolationg. especially with an individualistic (every man for himself) culture, people often tell u to just... go to therapy bro. dont bother me about it.

here are fr some tips as someone who has a lot of problems and is not in therapy:

prioritise staying alive. it can never get better once you are dead.

take your time with it. you dont need to post alter intros or have a plural kit. you dont need to have a journal. take time to be comfortable as you can even if the circumstances are very bad

depending on your amount of control and interaction with your system, introduce people who don't have a lot of life experience to new things like food, new colours and textures and places. this especially applies if you have a bunch of alters who only really know the environment of their abuse

build community. its really really really hard but do try. having friends kept me alive. it still keeps me alive.

learn about healthy relationships - we all have internet access. learn about boundaries and triggers and talking to others healthily. a lot of people with did will struggle with healthy relationships even if they make them. learn and do your best to act with it

treat your body like a rental or a pot plant or an animal if needed - even if it doesnt seem like yours, you gotta feed and water and walk it bro. u need the sun. you need enrichment and interaction.

ignore the discourse if youre struggling - it actually doesnt matter and will make you more sick. thinkning about endo vs trauma or like.... idk... labels discourse can be a major stressor that can lead to warping your sustem presentation or repressing and harming bits that arent conforming well

engage in things that are irl like building mini legos or clay - it can help make outside a better environment and shit, aklso can help ground.

find your own triggers and talk about it with ur system. write notes or yap.

find joy in being alive and being a system. despite what reddit or youtube or whatever will tell you, as things improve they will get better. and u should look for joy and funnies when you can

dont give up

LISTEN TO YOUR SYSTEM. THEY'RE NOT ALWAYS GOING TO BE RIGHT. THEY LIKELY ARE ASSHOLES OR INSANE JUST LIKE YOU. BUT YOU LIVE TOGETHER.

healing is easier as a team.

i believe in you

[zais-zafu]

false gods ruling ur life

& the power of focus

hi everyone! today I wanna talk about how we create false gods in our lives, how that harms us, and the importance of directing our focus! this is a topic that has been on my mind recently as I think it is foundational to everyone who wants to work on their mindset, mental diet, and manifest better life outcomes.

table of contents

1. ways we create false gods in our lives

2. the harm of false idolisation and victimisation

3. the power of focus and attention

p.s: I do believe in god but I believe this post is still helpful from an loa/spiritual persective. so, with that being said, let's discuss!

✿ part 1: ways we create false gods in our lives

I'd say there two main ways we do that: making ourselves smaller and making others bigger.

when we make ourselves small, we victimise ourselves becoming paranoid about the world and thinking that others have this special advantage over you. I see this a lot in the loa community where some believe that others have some kinda special knowledge and power that they don't posses, when in reality it is just them being more disciplined, more consistent, and more trusting of loa.

it could also be about feeling insignificant in the face of your circumstances. like thinking that the 3d (physical reality) is what is ruling your life and not ur mind. also believing in conspiracies and secret society theories or ideas that are designed to instill fear within you, making u think that someone is out there to get you.

as for making others bigger in your mind, this happens a lot in celebrity and fan culture when you start seeing them as more than human. also when you idolise other people's attention (for example: analysing others behavours around you and ruminating over negative meanings of it). and also you pay wayyyy too much attention to other people’s lives like your peers and worrying too much about competition, not realising that there's no competition when you are your own life's creator.

essentially, when you start worrying/thinking too much about something or someone outside yourself, you have formed a false god in your mind.

✿ part 2: the harm of false idolisation and victimisation

so what's the harm in that? well first, it is such a waste of time and energy on something that won't serve you. also it will only create unnecessary worry and anxiety within your mind. you start to see yourself as powerless and your life as out of ur control. you might also engage in behaviours that cause you to lose yourself in the process, such as people pleasing.

your life will become vapid and shallow since your focus is on shit that really doesn't matter. you will also start to associate this great amount of omnipotence and power with something other than god (if u believe in one), bankrupting you spiritually. like you are some insignificant string being pulled along by someone more powerful than you or god, or by circumstances that you believe you cannot change.

small tip: whenever you start to worry too much remind yourself that you are starting to create a false god in your mind. this works wonders for me to quickly disengage from unhelpful thoughts and remind myself of my power.

✿ part 3: the power of focus and attention

obviously, if you practice lao, you know that what you focus on is what you create. if you dwell in other people's lives or opinions, you're then not dwelling enough in the life you wanna create. focus is like a currency to what you wanna see play out in your life: what you pay attention to is what you prioritise and is what you will get more of.

in my case, when I started focusing on the life I wanna live, that's when opportunities, successes, etc. started flooding my life.

and that also applies to what you consume cos your mental diet is hugely shaped by your media diet. basically, what you consume (see, hear) and create (say, think) creates patterns of belief in your mind, materialising in reality.

ofc, you can always engage something outside of you that entertains you but don’t lose sight of your own live’s vision. really consider whether what your're watching is adding to your life somehow. make sure you’re using it, not it using you.

a big example of that is social media: you can either curate the perfect fyp to see posts that make you happy, remind you that your dream life is possible, serve as loa tips/reminders or you could consume content that is designed to suck you in and make you angry, anxious, or hopeless.

you decide.

another related term to focus that I wanna talk about is presence and how it is essentially the key to living a happy life.

when you focus on what truly matters, you find excitement and passion again, creating a life you're proud of. being present and focusing on yourself also allows you to practice intentional and mindful living. so you take your time to do the things you care about, you connect back to your spirituality, you realise that you’re more than a physical vessel, and you find yourself again beneath all of society's chatter.

this ultimately builds confidence and trust within you: you become an inspired creator instead of a powerless victim around the people who you look up to and also with 3d circumstances, which you now understand are just past relfections of old beliefs and are easily changeable.

and I think holding such mindset is beautiful :)

anddd, that's all! hope this was a helpful mindset shifting technique for y'all.

talk to you again soon <3

✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿

[bluestjayy]

fck stop begging for comments on here all the damn time. i did like u as a writer but its getting so pathetic and annoying now jus begging constantly. Ur writing isn't that good for getting tonnes of comments anyway half the time Ur dragging plots and characters r so uninteresting probs coz Ur on here begging instead of writing properly. every update feels rushed lately it shows u don't even care anymore. just stop begging and focus on updating instead that's all pppl want

Hey anon, I normally don't respond to rude asks like these because I think what you want is the attention.

I especially don't usually respond to asks that have, in any way, anything to do with begging or demanding I update my fics (and I have seen an uptick in those in recent months) but I'm gonna respond to this one, and by proxy, all the others currently sitting unread in my inbox, and any future asks of this nature that may come my way.

Buckle in, this is a long one.

First, I'm going to assume by 'begging for comments' you mean the few posts I have been reblogging over the past couple of days that encourage readers on AO3 to engage with authors by leaving positive and thoughtful comments, and discouraging them from making unreasonable and impersonal demands. If this is the case then I would like to clarify that I am not 'begging for comments', rather I am supporting a community of writers like myself who are actual human beings who take several hours, days, even weeks, out of our very real lives in order to make something and share it with the world and for some reason are beginning to see a trend of entitlement slowly growing across our comment sections. A trend we wish to nip in the bud because, as I previously pointed out, fanfiction authors are real life human beings, taking time out of their days to make something, not machines on a factory line that churn out content at the behest of someone's demands. We want our fandoms and communities to be safe, supportive spaces where we can have fun. We don't want them to become workloads that begin to feel like full time jobs.

Secondly, to say my writing isn't all that good but in the same message tell me to update? Wild my guy. Truly. But let's keep breaking down AO3 comments/kudos/general feedback (such as this delightful ask you sent my way, I guess hoping it would make me want to update??) from readers and how this can affect an authors updates, this time using one of my favourite metaphors for this type of thing and see if it helps:

AO3 is a potluck. It's a backyard party. There is a veritable buffet at this party. My fic is the cake I baked myself to bring for all my friends to eat. One of my other friends brought potato salad. Another friend brought the punch. Everyone who is at this fun get-together brought something to offer at the buffet table.

Now, I might not like potato salad, but you know what I'm not going to do? Tell my friend to her face that her potato salad sucks and she never should have brought it. I'm going to politely pass on eating it, and be glad that all the people at the party who do like potato salad have something to eat. In the same vein, not everyone is going to like my cake, maybe the flavour is wrong, maybe I used too much icing, maybe they just don't like cake. But that's fine, they don't have to eat my cake. But if you choose to eat my cake, and find you don't like the flavour after taking a bite, then the polite thing to do is quietly stop eating the cake, and go and find something else to eat.

Do not seek me out and tell me to my face everything that was wrong with my cake, and why you don't enjoy it. Do not tell me to my face, that my cake sucks and you wish I'd never brought it.

Do you think telling someone that you hate the way they made a cake is a good and productive way to get them to keep making cakes for you? Or perhaps, is the way to keep an amateur baker wanting to bake, to tell them what you enjoyed about their cake. Even a simple, 'I really liked this cake' goes a long way.

And if you do like my cake, if you love my cake actually, do not then follow me home from the party and start demanding I make you cake all the time. I don't always have time to make cakes.

And just to cover all of my bases, because I am also seeing a trend of folk who think that sharing fanfiction online is the same as submitting manuscripts to publishers and that therefore criticism is allowed. It's not.

To continue to beat this cake metaphor. This is the difference between taking my cake to a party with friends (AO3) and taking my cake onto the Great British Bake off (A professional publishing environment).

If I wanted constructive criticism on my cake, I'd seek it out from expert bakers who know what they're talking about.

No one goes to a friend's party with a cake they made and wants to hear what they're doing wrong. Unless explicitly asked, keep your criticisms to yourself and put the cake down if you don't like it. It's so very easy to not eat a cake if you hate how it tastes.

Finally, a combination of both the points above, really, but I cannot stress this enough. These usernames you're sending anonymous asks to? The handles on AO3 you're writing comments for? They're people. They are human fucking beings that deserve respect and kindness. I am a human being. And sending what you sent up there to another person over fanfiction?? That's just mean, friend. That's just out and out cruelty. I have no other words to describe that.

I could give a flying fuck if you think I'm begging for comments. I could care less you wanna say my writing is terrible. At the end of the day, my writing is mine and I'm going to keep doing it because I find writing fun. It's a hobby that helps me de-stress from the horrors of my real life situations. Frankly, you should be begging me to stop because I have no plans to do anything but keep inflicting my drawn out plots and bad character writing on the world for as long as it keeps making me happy.

But I beg you to take a second off of social media today and think over what makes fandom- something that should be a hobby, a safe place to escape from the world- this serious for you. Because the kicker in all this? My friend, if you think what I post is annoying and my writing is bad, you can not see it. You can block me. You can click away from my stories. Your online space is yours to curate and no one, literally not a single person, is making you engage with things you don't want to engage with. Curate your space, fill it with people who aren't 'begging for comments', fill it with fics you think are really good and deserve to be told how good they are through wonderful comments. Please, I am begging you, because at the end of the day to live in such negativity must be so exhausting for you.

I've no idea if you, the original sender of this message will even read through all of this, but if you did, please, if not me, then any other fandom creators you come across going forward. Please treat them with kindness. Please respect that sometimes fandoms are spaces people hide in when their real lives are scary and frustrating and negative enough and all you do with messages like these is drive people away.

TL;DR: this is not the way you get more updates from fic authors, and further from that, it's not the way you treat anyone. Ever. Do better. Do much better.

[capsreadsandrants]

Oh boy howdy Buckle up children it is time for a review of

The Kiss of the Basilisk

I'm sorry sweet little one... You do not deserve this...

Which like. There's a stunning lack of actual basilisks and a stunning lack of regular kissing. It's all described as TONGUES PASSIONATELY DANCING

Anyways this book is 18+ so this review is intended for 18+ folks so if that's not you ... Begone. Also if you are a fan of the book, or are the author, or know the author, do not read this post if you're going to get your feelings hurt or send this to the author in any way. I have the author blocked on my Instagram and do not want to drag authors into my negative reviews. This review also contains spoilers of the book so if you don't want to read spoilers, you too, should go now.

TLDR; Reading this during pride month was a hate crime against the Gay Community and I sincerely apologize for my actions.

Fuck it, it's 10PM and there's a tornado watch so I am hunched over on my bathroom floor with sirens blaring. This is the worst, longest, most dragged on, least character developed, poorly written book I have ever read in the 26 years I have the misery to call "life". This book is actually so bad that I had to pull out my laptop to write an even more scathing review of it. Just a couple points:

This book starts off with NO trigger warning (in the KU version at least). There is just a note from the author saying this book will ChAnGE UR LyFe!!! and to say GOODBYE to the person you were before you read it! Man. I do miss the Caps from before this book. So sweet. So innocent. Anyways this book has MULTIPLE content warnings that the author gleefully skipped over, including sexual assault, harassment, attempted rape, sexism, murder, fantasy racism and mentions of genocide. Whee! Changed for sure!

The characters are so weak if I blinked they would blow over from the breeze of my thin white girl eyelashes. We have SO MANY instances of Tempura (Temperance is a DUMBASS name) saying I AM BRAVE AND NOT WEAK and then being weak. She pouts when Carpet is mean to her, or lies, and then she mopes to Leo, who comforts her and flirts with her (and she flirts BACK?!?) and then she goes back to Cambry. The snake boy is also dumb as hell and he isn't even the ACTUAL Snake King. that's his dad. Who she bangs in front of Corbin and his whole family. Anyways Calender is SO GOOD AT SEX OH MAH GAWD and he has banged many women relentlessly but then he LOOKS at this twenty year old and gives her a claw buttplug telepathic dildo because just seeing her changed his life. Also Tailgate decided she loves them both and proceeds to flirt with both men, get engaged to them both, and lead them on without, you know, telling them. Coriander also knowingly is teaching Torrence to be good at sex for the prince and then gets pissy when she, you know, does it. Oh. And she has FRECKLES U GUISE. No one else does! Wow! So original! Also she's A VIRGIN WOW and thus somehow the best at sex because spoiler she's half basilisk wow shocker) and she's like WHATS THIS CALLED while pointing at her vagina. She's TWENTY. In a VERY sex/fertility based society.

Leo and Temperature's mother did not deserve this bullshit. She constantly dogs on her mother for being a SINGLE MOM and is so busy getting rammed by the telepathic dildo claw that she feigns being sick to send her mother into a town that HATES HER. Like more than they hate Teal or whatever the fuck her dumbass name is.

Okay so the stereotypes are horrible. She has a Hispanic coded gay best friend who is mean and sassy and slutty, and the village favorite and resident bully, Vera (who everyone hates but apparently is the "village favorite"?) is plus size ("curvy") and the only bully. And blonde. And there are ACTUAL villains in this book and Tem is like "WAAAH this Regina George wannabe is worse than them". Strong and independent, my ass.

There's this bad guy. Rowe. Right? He's mean and evil and yadda yadda. Anyways Torque can't figure out with her dumb dumb girl brain why he hates Cupid. Turns out. Central "crested" Rowe's dad (which is where the snakes give someone such a powerful orgasm they TAKE OVER THEIR MIND?? Unless I misread that??) and thus. Rowe hates him. And Tem by extension. His dick gets ripped off.

The world building sucks. Example:

Everyone worships the goddess of fertility, and all pray to her, and have the same depiction of her... across species over entire centuries? The one goddess?

Men are expected to be good at sex and women are too but women are shamed and harassed and called whores. Which like, isn't inaccurate from real life, but in a society built on sex...? And one that has worshiped sex? Typically don't have a regressive view on women being sexual??

Also, in a society that fears basilisk, where Roosters are the number one way of scaring them off and everyone is buying roosters and chickens from Tailspin and her mom... Why are they frowned upon? They're called "Chicken Shit" (and Tem is told her v@gina thus, tastes like Chicken Shit by Vera), they're looked down on for being farmers... They should be rolling in the dough if everyone is trying to buy roosters from them.

Little tangent on the previous: the king hates Tummy and even says, in front of Leo, "ew, chicken girl, you don't want her because she's a working class bitch" (that's paraphrasing). But he's... fine with just all the OTHER village working class girls? And like yeah, he dated her mom, but why do they not call the kingdom next door and work out a political marriage? This would strengthen them against the basilisks? But no that's called "thinking" and something that the author cannot take the courtesy to extend to her readers.

Okay, let's talk about the basilisks then. Their "form" isn't a snake. Just hot people who are naked with big pwenises and bewbs, and they get... shadowy and have scales. And they lost the war to humans centuries ago and the king at the time told them... to teach village girls how to BONE?? That's IT? Not enslave them? Not sell them to other kingdoms for higher up marriages? Not try to incorporate them into society as sex workers and warriors, which they are formidable as? Like that's ALL the king thought to do with them? When they get Horny they also HISS?? Miss ma'am. Have you MET a snake?? Ugh. Also oh tem is so hot she makes ALL the snakes horny.

The sex was awful. Every time is OH SO SPECIAL and OH THE BEST O SHE HAS EVER HAD and OH ALL THE DIQUES ARE SO LONG and OH THIS MOMENT IS SO IMPORTANT my guy it is mediocre at best. also. she has so much sex at the snake orgy (or as I have dubbed, "snorgy") that her vagina starts to bleed and her pelvis breaks. Good. Fucking. God. This is the most booktok sex I have ever seen and I mean that in the most derogatory way possible.

Anyways if I keep going, I'll just have more to say. Do yourself a favor and do not read this book unless you are high, you are dead, or both. This is 600 pages of bullshittery with no trigger warnings and this book made me go to the exotic meat store, buy snake, fry it, and eat it because that is all this book made me want to do. Eat snakes. And not in the sexy way.

Also before yall say anything yes, I love romantasy, I love romance, I love fantasy. This book has no grounds to be even half as long as it is and has a lack of romance and fantasy. World building is shite and the relationships and characters are shite.

[bunny-behind-a-keyboard]

hiii i hope you're doing well!! /gen

i just saw your post (it was from a few months ago) where you said that you're okay with asks about kin-related activities so i was wondering if you have any suggestions for angelkin/divinekin activities? (/nf)

if you don't have any ideas no worries!!!

-@aureatewings

hihi im SO sorry i dont know how i never saw this !! :0

im a demon lord myself so this is a little outside my realm, but ill do my best ! i feel like there must be some cross over anyway with divine kin :o

ANGEL/DIVINEKIN ACTIVITIES

🕊️ meditation! get in touch with the higher powers or simply allow the world to move around you. as a higher being, the constant stimulation of the human world can pull us in and distract us from our connection to the universe, the world, your deity, or even your own sense of self. allow yourself space to reflect and remember the scale of the universe and where you came from.

-> as an aside to this, cloud gazing can also be a good activity! it promotes the same kind of mindset, but if you are one who comes from the heavens or used to have wings, it can help to watch the sky above.

🕊️if you are a creature who is meant to help humans or command others, it may help to go into a leadership position. naturally we want to see our actions impact the world around us, and you can do this positively by engaging in your community, charities, or other groups around you like youth groups, churches, clubs, etc.! especially if you are an angel of a kind god, this may help you feel like your back in touch with your 'purpose' of aiding mortals.

🕊️ personally, i find it can help to get creative around more abstract/obscure kintypes to find ways to represent yourself. explore how you may express your sense of self - do you manifest as a wall of code, or a mixed media instillation with imagery and sound? are you a video? a sculpture? i find it fun to explore how the essence of my being feels when it is unable to be perfectly seen/experienced by the human mind.

thats all i can think of at the moment, but ill add onto this if i think of anything else! feel free to reblog with ur own ideas too ! ^^ apologies if this isnt quite what u wanted, i did my best coming from the perspective of a demon lord :>

[bookie-bookdust]

going thru ur blog on a rough night and smiling as the anxiety jitters slowly melt away (u said u were worried u scared me off but rlly i’m so scared i’ll scare u off like)

thank u for being a safe space, for posting/reblogging reminders about fandom etiquette, for sharing ur beautiful creations (i said it b4 ill say it again) and also for lowkey encouraging engagement! i agree wholeheartedly with your post ab creating 4 yourself, and not 4 validation, but i just mean how kind and receptive you are when ppl do interact with you!

unfortunately, i was a silent reader for most of my existence— still giving kudos and things of that nature, but i was so scared of… for lack of better words and since it’s late where i am, i’m gonna stick with what u said the other day— scared of scaring the author/creator with my excitement etc etc. or scared i would say smth wrong, come off wrong etc. it prevented me from making friends in the fandoms that i was a part of, and i feel like i missed out on that sense of community bc of it.

it wasn’t until i was on the other end that i rlly understood how much engagement meant (no matter how big or small), and it wasn’t until i came across ur tumblr and another author’s tumblr that i realised how important engagement rlly is. (i swear i don’t live under a rock, there was maybe just a decently sized pebble over my head)

i was originally going to just send u that first lil paragraph, but then i got carried away 🥲 sorry i seem to be making a habit of sending u long asks 😭 and i apologise(but also don’t apologise?) in advance for all of the comments i will be leaving on ur future posts and when i finally catch up on ssfs i will not shut up (im being dramatic, i won’t spam u or anything LMAO)(it’s my own self induced exposure therapy, but just know i mean every comment i send with my whole chest)

anyways, i’ll scream it to the mountaintops, ur amazing, ur inspiring and i’m so grateful that i get to see a glimpse into ur breathtaking lil worlds. ♡

p.s. as i said previously, it’s late where i am so i hope this all makes sense 🥲

Awwwww you're so sweet. Thank you🥺🥺💙💙

Listen I've always been a lurker myself. Doing all this was my own exposure therapy too LOL because I became a hermit over the last few years and had to reset myself. Engagement is so important in fandom but also speaking from experience - don't burn yourself out with it either. Set boundaries. You don't have to carry it all on your back. If you don't have the energy to engage, you don't have to all the time!

I get what you mean though - don't be afraid of creators (or influencers or celebrities for that matter because we're all just meat bags with brains and bones. Lets be honest lol. No one is actually that important - no matter how they might act). Some people may not answer (either because they missed the notification, they're too busy, shy themselves, or are weird or whatever idk), and sometimes you'll come across some not very nice people too, but that's their own problem. I lurked in HL from the beginning myself before I decided to post something. Sometimes I regret not biting the bullet and showing up sooner, but it happened the way it was supposed to happen. Your love and excitement is appreciated at any point in the game, and you get to meet some lovely people along the way too!

Ultimately, if it's fun, enjoy yourself and engage. When it's no longer fun, pressure wash it all down, give yourself a break, and go back to what you loved about it to begin with. Fandom is our escape away from the real world, so don't pressure yourself in the social experiment too hard or you'll get a bad hangover😅😂 (I need to take my own advice tbh hahahhahaha).

Thank you so much for the message. You are so so kind 💙💙💙 And it's okay that you went hard on the yapping. I do it all the time clearly hahahaha

[initforthethrill]

it's cool that you're friends with maddie, it's even cooler that u respect her! :)

i always had the impression that maddie is a very nice person, besides seeming quite active on the internet. that's one of the reasons why i'm part of her fandom, she's a sweetheart 😭😭

btw, i hope u fully recover from ur cold, love love love uuu!!!

– 🤠

oh, totally—mutual respect is such a huge part of any real friendship, and it’s definitely something we have. if maddie ever told me she was uncomfortable with something i'd posted, i’d take it down immediately, no questions asked. that said, i do say some absolutely unhinged horny shit about cate (and let’s be honest—sometimes about maddie too, lmao) on my twitter, and she has full access to it. she knows, she’s aware, and she’s never expressed any discomfort.

i’m genuinely so thankful for her friendship. the fact that she’s received every single gift i’ve sent her—and actually loves and cherishes them—means more to me than i can put into words. that kind of warmth and kindness is rare, and i don’t ever take it for granted. we talk regularly, and i never share anything she confides in me about. just because it’s frequent communication doesn’t mean it’s public domain—some things are private, and i respect that fully.

i cherish and value her friendship more than i can say, and i’d never want to do anything that might jeopardize it. that trust is my highest priority. but at the same time, just because i was her fan first doesn’t mean i should be expected to stop loving or supporting her—or the characters she brings to life. that admiration can coexist with genuine care and boundaries. it’s all about intention, and i lead with nothing but love<3 but i also don’t go around flaunting our friendship or trying to make it a thing™. i never promote my cate fics, bots, or this tumblr on any of the accounts she might actually see. not because i think she’d react negatively—just because there’s no reason for her to be involved in this side of things. it’s about boundaries, not secrecy<3

i honestly feel like she's is pretty detached from how people perceive cate—like she did her job, she played the role, and that’s where it ends for her. so all the discourse or intense content people make about cate probably doesn’t faze her much at all. she doesn’t seem particularly worried about it, you know? it’s more like, “that’s the character, this is me,” and she keeps that separation really clean. like as long as the hate toward cate isn't directed at her personally, she doesn't seem to be bothered by it. which is good because there is a lot of it out there unfortunately, some really mean and nasty shit too. i'm always quick to jump people who say heinous shit about cate but then have to like pull myself back so i don't make a fool of myself over it because like why should i worry if she doesn't, you know?

all in all she gets that cate’s a complex character and people are gonna react in all kinds of ways, but she doesn’t take it to heart, especially when it's just people being childish and nasty. she seems pretty detached from the hateful side of it, which probably helps keep her sane lol. but she does enjoy thoughtful conversations about the character—she’s really committed to playing cate realistically and engaging with people who want to explore that in good faith. so it’s not that she’s totally detached; it’s more like she has healthy boundaries around the noise, but still respects the character and the work she put into her, if that makes sense?

and yes—you're absolutely right. maddie is such a sweetheart. in all my experience, she’s been nothing but kind, loving, and thoughtful. she’s got such a generous heart, and she engages with people in a way that feels genuine and human, even with everything on her plate. she doesn’t have to be as warm or responsive as she is, but she chooses to be—and that’s something really rare. so i totally get why people gravitate toward her. she deserves every bit of love and support she gets🥹

anyways i'm clearly rambling LOL thank you for the love cowboy anon hehe<3 love you!!!

[vorecommunitywoes]

hey just been reading your posts and while i dont wanna cause any drama at all, nor do i completely see eye to eye with some of your statements (which is an absolutely human thing, to not fully agree), i do agree on the statement/comment you made about minors posting vore in public. personally i get really ashamed when talking about liking vore as a nonsexual special interest/comfort because so many close friends i trusted too much would humiliate and shame me for liking it, telling me it was only ever sexual and even going so far as to call me some really unsavory things. i haven't really posted much any vore online recently, as i've been keeping it between peeps on discord who i trust not to out me to others who don't like that stuff. TDLR i absolutely agree with the statement on minors interacting w/adults, i am rather cautious when people dm me, and i don't plan on posting my TCT art publicly again until i am at least 18. sorry for the long ask i hope i didnt ruin your day /lh

(this ask was sent on nov 13th)

i agree that its best to keep this between other ppl u know yea and to keep it that way until ur 18

and u didnt deserve being called names or insulted for having a nonsexual interest, especially since u are being responsible about it to only talk to other peers. its nothing to be ashamed of when, again, u are being responsible in who u expose this type of content to which i assume u are

i also encourage u to branch ur friend groups to non-vore related ones if u have not already, as in keeping those ties separate. its a lot healthier in the long run to be able to connect with other ppl on multiple topics and not one singular niche thing (which i did when i was young, i used to only be in sfw vore groups and when i tried to finally pull away when i was continuously groomed by adults i felt completely isolated with nowhere 2 go)

also local community ties if ur able to

this is nothing to be ashamed of, its just time and place that matters a ton with a sensitive topic that is literally about extreme close physical intimacy with another person. it can quickly go into violating territory which ppl seem to not fucking understand and downplay it so they can engage COMPLETELY uncritically and continue the cycle of grooming and abuse that happens in fetish communities!!! i dont think ur doing that at all but i do ask that u treat this type of thing with care and to not let ppl cross ur boundaries and to also take care of others boundaries

[neonbutchery]

listen i've been where u are mentally and it's really hard but u need to change ur mentality. do u send people asks? do u reply to posts? are u an active reblogger? engagement/community doesn't come from thin air online. u constantly have people reassuring u ur mods are good, that they appreciate u, they show interest in ur ocs. focus on that instead of the evil brain worms! it takes discipline and time but if u put in the mental effort to focus on the good it will get easier. i'm sorry ur sick as well, that doesn't help. but there's only so much the people around u can do and say to reassure u before it's really up to u. said with love.

i 100% agree w u anon, and it's very true that i genuinely need to engage more w people. to be completely honest i've lost interest/energy in interacting with tumblr for a while but it's true that i can't complain about not getting attention when i don't do the same. idk if this will make sense but i'm basically someone that needs to be prompted to do things, like "hey can you send me asks/reblog this/etc" because i often get the feeling that i'm annoying people and being cringey. which i know it isn't true, and i'm not using this as an excuse, just explaining where i can come from sometimes. also i'm genuinely interested in continuing this conversation if you'd like so please go off anon, i'm not going to get angry with you and i 100% understand where you're coming from!

[anigk]

i'm not writing this to preach or be edgy with some pseudo-intellectualism. i'm a private person, so if anything, this is weird for me to put out smthn personal for everyone else to see. after all, this will be someone's first impression of me when they click on my profile. but that's the point. that's why i wanna do it. this represents me. not my old posts or pics of myself...they mean nothing. i wanna be true to myself. for my own sanity.

i'm not the best w words, so imma articulate my thoughts thru someone many people may be familiar with. this interlude (the only track i used to skip over when listening to blonde) isn't about how technology sucks. it's about keeping up with appearances, and how our world has come to be represented by these symbols of statuses (i.e. Nikes, instagram profiles, etc). even though these two people have been dating for three years, cuz there is no digital representation of that relationship, it did not exist.

obviously she lets social media control her life. but he's no better. he acts like he’s above it all, like fb is just some dumb thing not worth his time. but if he really didn’t care, why not just add her? why make it a thing?

the whole story seems silly and extreme until u realize social media has hurt u exactly the same way it has hurt them. it's just not as obvious. the guy is affected too. maybe not in the same way she is, but he’s playing the same game. he judges her, the same way she judges him. he’s still letting fb dictate his actions, even if it’s by refusing to engage with it. the truth is, u can't escape getting affected, whether u want to or not. it’s not just about the people who are obsessed. it’s about how it’s changed the way we communicate and connect on a fundamental level. it's hurt the way we view the world and see the people around us. it's redefined how we exist. for worse.

she hasn't broke up with him because of a request. it's because of a lack of communication. she didn't trust him and didn't know how to tell him that. and he couldn't understand where she was coming from. he couldn't do something so small for the one person he's supposed to do small things for. if they were gonna let a button determine if they would end up together, their relationship was already on its last legs. in reality, they had broken up a long time before.

but what has fb caused? people to miscommunicate...to break apart. i've personally never been more confused. in a world where communication is so much easier, nearly everyone has gotten so much worse at it. i've personally been hurt by people's profiles and their virtual behavior. it's made me question their values and has damaged my perception of who they r. but i've not been fair...my judgement stems from my own insecurities. i need to be less harsh. only by speaking with them properly can i understand and view them fairly.

and i've not been perfect, either. i've been digitally unstable and made people uncomfortable. i've been too messy and dramatic when the time wasn't right. when situations were too delicate and needed more patience and grace. but most importantly, i haven't been able to say the right words and stand up for myself—to fully express how i feel and give comfort to those i truly care for—when it's mattered the most irl. i've tried my best, but i haven't been enough. to myself and to the people most important to me. and social media has played a role in all of my shortcomings. being so online during my adolescence has hurt my real-world capabilities in so many ways. and i'm sure i'm not alone in that. which makes it all the more ironic when people expect u to accept that request. expect u to post on ur story or comment on their stuff. we spend so much time online to "connect" with others, but we've never been worse at handling real connections. there's so much hypocrisy. it bothers me a lot—more than most other people, probably.

that's why i don't use it anymore. social media, of which fb is categorized as. i don't want any part of this. i don't want to add to the miscommunication being on these apps causes, to others and ourselves. i want to become the best version of myself. i want to grow. i owe that not just to myself but also to other people. and being on instagram or any similar app makes it impossible for me to achieve that.

i get that people r different and might not see things the same way or feel as affected, but still...we’ve all let these platforms become extensions of ourselves to some degree. we’ve let them dictate our worth, our relationships, our lives. we've been killing our ability to be real and connect with others. all to try to impress the world with someone so far removed from our real self. to try so hard to be someone different. to unwillingly compare ourselves and everyone else against each other. it's made us so insecure and superficial.

i've grown up hearing old people shit on social media and ignored them like everyone has. but now that i'm older and more aware, it just hurts seeing these effects on the people u care the most for. real, noticeable effects on people who r naturally so sincere and authentic. people who u live for, who u would give anything to see become the best versions of themselves. people who i don't look down on for being so active online, but who i worry about and just hope r doing what's best for themselves. i don't have the right to judge people without truly knowing them, nor the authority to make them change. i can only judge and change myself. i've been getting hurt and have been aware of it for years. but it's only after seeing the wounds of people i care deeply about when i knew i had to draw the line. when i knew i had enough.‎

it wasn't always so bad. i couldn't have gone thru covid as a kid without all my online friends. i will still keep my account up, only to connect back w my childhood friends once i'm old. but for now all i know is that i wake up to like a hundred texts and a bunch of other notifications. it's so much to process. so much information. i feel phantom vibrations in my right leg because my phone goes off in my right pocket every day for half a decade. i get instant gratification from seeing a reel pop up on my feed or a like on my most recent story. it's like a constant reminder that i exist. that i am important enough to receive something. only a few years ago i wasn't like this.

so yeah, maybe it’s dumb to break up over a fb request. but it’s not really about the request, is it? it's about what it represents. it's about how we’ve let these digital markers replace real connection. it's stopped us from being able to truly live and be happy as ourselves. and until we confront that, we’re just going to keep spinning in circles, chasing validation in all the wrong places.

despite the clarity i feel rn, ik there will be times when confusion can give way to doubt. when i fall short of what i say...what i say i'm all about. that's normal. when people don't have the strength, they just r mirrors of what they see. but i promise to stay strong, and hope u will too. cuz at ur best, u r love...ur a positive, motivating force within my life. and if u ever feel the need to wonder why, let me know, let me know. stay at ur best.

[duribidara]

thank u for being so kind, insightful n elaborate in ur response noé! then again, anon deserves the kindest response bc it looks like they're as frustrated as a lot of us are. noé's touched on the performance & stage persona parts of it, so i'm gonna add juuuuust a touch in regards to the music. and the barking. won't be too long, i promise<3

it's pretty disappointing, but not surprising, that the kpop fans who quickly dismiss "the barking" (lol) as smth dumb, cringe, and/or repetitive most likely don't know, or don't appreciate, that mingi's obviously incorporated call n response into Roar. it's a pretty common thing to do when ur a rapper creating a rap song. some examples, just at the top of my head: swimming pools by kendrick, nwo by awich, and return of the b-boy by pharcyde; a classic.

(ps. pls refrain from debating me on whether or not mg - and in extension, hj n many other rappers in kpop - are "real" rappers. this post isn't abt that thank yewww)

i won't pretend that i'm well-versed in call n response's history, but its roots are deeply planted in the african music traditions and, as is the case for many things, we have black ppl to thank for its wider use in many musical genres nowadays. how it is used may vary, but the point of call n response remains the same: for the artist to communicate w/ the audience within the song they're performing in order to liven up the performance n to form a sense of connection.

back to Roar. in the teaser, what comes before the barking is 4 seconds of simple, powerful vocalization. and then the barks. now imagine the song performed live: mg could be vocalizing before passing the mic to the audience for us to bark into OR he could ask the audience to vocalize before he starts barking himself. either way works! both are simple, yet effective examples of call n response.

i understand that it's easy to dismiss the barking as dumb or cheap or repetitive bc yes, the call n response in Roar is an example of one of its simplest form: vocalization & barks. (mg is so funny for this btw i love him lmao). both mg n the audience aren't supposed to engage in anything complex. we're just...supposed to bark at each other n boom! connection established. like bluetooth.

it's actually pretty smart of him to incorporate the barking bc, as noé said, it's a tried n true formula. he knows from experience that most atinys are gonna respond, and no matter how some detractors might feel, i'm pretty sure we're gonna see this exact same response when mg eventually performs Roar live.

also as noé put it in our personal chat:

he's gonna take us to Dog City guys! i for one can't wait to visit! :3

the way people talk about mg sometimes absolutely breaks my heart. we barely got ANYTHING from his preview and still people are running with their own narratives. “why is he barking that’s so cringe” “he’s doing way too much” “all he does is bark and take his shirt off” as if having fun and being confident and sexy immediately undermines any of his other contributions to the group. he IS over the top but so genuine about it, he is SO happy on stage and just wants you to be happy too

the good thing about a stage persona is the mask gives you the freedom to play around with how you act without needing it to bleed into who you are offstage. the bad thing about a stage persona is sometimes people take a few occasionally-seen traits and turn them into immutable parts of you as an individual.

this happens with plenty of public figures, whether positively, neutrally, and negatively, but mingi definitely gets the short end of the stick a lot with how he’s perceived. and it’s crazy to me because 1) the barking is clearly just a fun stage thing to engage with the crowd (and on their most recent tour, a lot of the barking was actually initiated by atiny from what i’ve seen, because they knew he’d done it at previous shows and wanted to experience that himself) and 2) mingi doesn’t undress all that much. it wouldn’t matter in the slightest if he did either of those things (san and seonghwa both showed a lot of skin on tour. they’re grown men who spend a lot of time working on their bodies - there’s nothing wrong with wanting to show that hard work off), but imo it’s blown way out of proportion for mingi and done solely to try and undermine him.

+ i went back and listened to the roar preview before answering this and the preview sounds very much to me like it’s going to be the chorus. choruses are meant to be more repetitive and engaging than the rest of the song, so having three (3) lines of barking makes perfect sense because it’ll give the crowd a way to join in regardless of what language they speak. ntm the song is called roar. why wouldn’t he be making loud (animal) sounds in the chorus?

none of mingi’s earlier solo projects (like desire projects 1 and 2 + untitled) have ever been dumbed down or shallow. he’s an incredibly raw lyricist who has always used his solo work to explore incredibly vulnerable periods of his life and share them with us as listeners. even if roar does end up being less complex, he’s honestly earned it after everything he’s given to us to date, but i really doubt it’s going to be an empty song. he’s just doing what he does best - giving 200% of himself to something and trying something new musically. walking his own path and sticking to his guns (ntm he went out of his way to get an entirely new production team… this doesn’t seem like something he’s half-assing. he clearly really cares about getting roar right). and i think it’ll pay off! a high-energy song amidst the rest of the solos is going to stick out like a sore thumb in the best possible way, since most of the others seem pretty even re: the energy levels of the previews.

++ “he IS over the top but so genuine about it” - exactly!! stage mingi is camp. he’s drag in the purest sense to me and he’s FUN to watch. his energy is so infectious and i can’t wait to see what a live performance of roar is going to look like <3

[mochipon-vt]

i just wanna say to the vtuber space (and ig any online or otherwise space), mostly bc i saw a post from someone on twitter saying how bad the vtuber space is RIGHT NOW but this goes like.. as a general rule ALL the time: u have GOT to curate ur spaces.

the online/content creator/streamer/vtuber space/communities is not any different than it's ever been. there is ALWAYS going to be drama, bad/hot takes from people too terminally online to think critically on any matter ever, inevitable parasocial relationships, people who for some reason think they can dictate what counts as a 'real vtuber' (or creator) or not and unfortunately, frequent call-out posts bc for some reason we've gotten to the point where people can't resolve or step away from things behind the scenes anymore and think it's a better idea to rally their fans to 'resolve' issues.

PLEASE. make your space fit for YOU. it doesn't matter what space ur in online or irl, if something feels negative and harmful, u have got to learn how to not allow it within your space or correct behaviors of ur own to not engage with stuff that doesn't feel beneficial.

stop doomscrolling socials; there's always drama in one form or another and socials are preying on u via rage baiting or drama baiting to get u worked up enough to engage with it. it. will. burn. u. out. i promise. (i had to step away from tiktok bc it's so toxic it was eating my life away and making me feel awful.. i miss the fun but it's so Yuck).

be wary of who u associate with. i would think by now it's fairly well known there's a lot of bad actors within content creator spaces (quite frankly, i've not had many 1 on 1 interactions with a lot of other creators and just about ALL of them have been bad..) don't blindly trust anyone and everyone and don't ignore even the smallest red flag if something feels off about someone. there's been far too many abusers and creeps in these spaces to not be wary of even the nicest appearing people.

please, PLEASE do not pay attention to people's rude, negative and nonsense comments. if ur not doing anything that's harmful or hurting urself or others, who fucking cares what kinda vtuber u are, what opinions u have about this or that, what things u like or dislike OR IF UR SINGLE OR NOT. there are NO RULES to how u create ur vtuber or space. do whatever is fun for u and brings u joy. i promise u, there is an audience out there for EVERYONE. don't try to squish yourself in a box to cater to people who don't care enough about u to even be kind. ignore them, block them and move on.

don't bring any further attention to them bc often that's exactly what they want and in this environment where no one knows how to NOT DOX, HARASS AND THREATEN PEOPLE, even if u think ur community could never be capable of that, there's always gonna be at least one person who might not be so obviously reasonable enough to not attack someone else for negative comments online. unless ur being actively threatened, just don't engage, don't bring attention to it, move on.

that goes for any interaction ur not comfortable with as well. u do not have to put up with people who don't make u feel safe and comfortable. it doesn't matter if what they did was a 'little' offense or not, u can block them if it makes u comfortable. (this is something i struggle with sometimes as well bc i'm too nice to people;) this obviously includes parasocial relationships as well.

unfortunately, i'm not sure if there's a perfect answer for avoiding parasocial relationships other than often reminding ur community that u do not want to be viewed or interacted with that way but that of course is not a guaranteed deterrent. really, all anyone can do is hope they're doing their best to communicate well and staying safe.

everything else that was mentioned was basically the cost, time and effort it takes to be a vtuber and really, any kind of hobby/content creation is going to take all of these things. if u want to be a video creator or editor, if u want to be an artist making videos or gallery content, if u want to do cosplay/pottery/metalsmithing/skateboarding/photography etc, everything is going to cost at the very least the price of materials or equipment plus whatever extra u want to use to make ur particular content 'unique'. programs, assets, editing labor from others, etc.

video and streaming content is probably on the higher end of expensive hobbies but that's bc u need good/a lot of equipment to handle running a stream, games, a camera, interactive programs, (for vtubers) a model; not to mention if ur not an artist and want a good/higher end model/assets/overlays and tracking, models and tracking equipment gets very expensive the more professional u get.

with all that being noted, pls know.. by no means is a lot of money needed to START vtubing. don't be fooled into thinking anyone who's established or well off today started that way. EVERYONE started with low cost or budget things and many, even multiple channels till the one they have currently stuck. if it's something that interests u and u feel capable of handling negative experiences when they happen (bc they will happen but i promise, u get better at handling them and standing up for the values of ur space) don't be deterred by veterans in the space saying how bad the environment of it all is 'currently'. it can be very fun/rewarding when u get to a point of familiarity and 'success' (whatever defines success for u).

the nature of any online spaces have always been and always will be the way it is (the internet is HUGE; this one teeny tiny isolated bubble in it's particular problems and drama compared to everything outside of it), u just have to figure out a way to separate urself from the negatives and curate ur specific bubble of space to ur liking and hold ur audience and followers to the same standards.

if the cost and work it takes to do this seems like it's not for u but u already participate in enjoying others for entertainment, pls make sure to give them a lil extra appreciation bc it IS a lot of work at times. setting up and troubleshooting fun things for interactivity alone is a lot of work but also if someone is working on failing or faulty equipment and still trying to keep things going for y'all, it can be really draining and stressful to depend on unreliable equipment interfering with plans and schedules.

as for whoever was upset on twitter over things, i am truly sorry they feel stressed and burnt out from what they do. i think some of it is a collective 'online too much and the nature of socials is forming bad habits in everyone' and just a 'it's okay to take breaks sometimes. it doesn't have to be grind, time all the time'. obviously that becomes a bit more difficult to come to grips w/ if u rely on vtubing for income but breaks are needed nonetheless.

but i don't think it's the 'space' of anything being the definitive 'bad' (yes, there is a lot of bad happening all the time and it should not be but if anyone waited for the collective cleansing of online as a whole before they did anything, no one would ever start anything bc it's not going to happen) bc i don't see much different in how things are/now than any other spaces at any other time.

i, personally, simply cannot take seeing call-outs and drama coverage of some new abusive creep in the space every single day and i choose to try to stay out of it as much as i can (other than becoming familiar with names that may need to be avoided) bc it does pull u down a rabbit hole of anxiety and despair to see so much yuck happening within a space that u want to be positive, wholesome and fun.

anyway, i thought i'd just say something on this cos it's not the first time i've seen people say 'THE VTUBER SPACE IS BAD' bc of xyz but it's the same stories u see all over. the internet is just oversaturated and bad. manifest and maintain your peace and have fun

[happy-and-gay-tortoise]

hey sorry to basically be on 'anon' bc i really can't send asks from my main account lol but ANYWAY i'm sorry it looks like someone made u feel like shit about posting in the crust tag but i wanted to mediate if thats ok. im sorry someone made u feel you couldnt post in there but at the same time i get it, if ur not reaaaally into crust then it's weird to establish yourself within such a politically vocal and tight knit community.

i know if you go to them with open hands about how into crust u are they would welcome you and give you recs and support you, you just have to show u are into crust. there are a lot of people that come into crust punk without knowing what it is except for 'fashion', and crust punks are actively trying to remove 'fashion' punks from crust, so it doesn't become corporatised like punk rock did.

so i think with ur jacket not having any crust and your outfit of the day posts being non-crust music and your playlist not having crust on it until i assume someone said some horrible shit i think that becomes a point where the fear is realised as 'oh my god, here's another fashion-only prson who doesn't know/doesn't want to know what this is' and it puts this very tight-knit community on edge

that didn't give any one the right to be horrible about it tho like there are better way to do these things but crust is a negative-type community that is very violent? maybe? in various ways. full of people with big problems with a real hatred of the world. which is where that reaction came from. i honestly wouldn't take it to heart too hard and i know ur only a kid so that'll be very hard. but if u ever want to get more into crust i promise ask people for recs and they will help you and be so kind.

it's just worth remembering, sub cultures don't like to be stepped on bc the world is hellbent on making it digestible and corporate for the masses so you gotta come at it honestly. ok anyway sorry for pseudo anon again and have a nice day

(The pseudo anon is ok dw)

I appreciate this ask a lot! Funny thing is I'm mostly just not rlly labeling myself as crust anymore bc I'm not the biggest fan of the music in general and I don't wanna use the tags that are not accurate to me! I respect the crust community a lot and yall are always welcome here, I'm just more personally into what a lot of my asks have called "easier to listen to punk" I love the noise not music movement and I do listen to some death metal n stuff, but ska and ska punk are more my cup of tea yk!

The crust community is also, as you said, very full of (most of the time justified) violence and hatred, and as someone that is like an eco-anarcist, optimist punk, and just trying to consume as much positive content/ neutral content as possible it tends to not be my vibe! I totally understand why yall have the community tho as someone who is that kind of angry a lot if the time, yall are the people that make change, and when it is needed I join you, but at least rn, I won't be engaging with that (also due to personal circumstances)!

Also I understand how it gave that impression, I want to make it clear I understand that crust punk was/is a movement centered around the music, the heavy emphasis on politics, and the anger towards the systems that push us down. "Crust pants/jackets" are just things to show that! I very clearly do not fit one of those criterias tho and that's ok! I don't have to use the label crust punk to still be someone who is a valid member of the punk subculture! Plus, yall don't need to know what exact labels I use anyway lol. You are a community that has been fucked with and torn apart for years, and it's not my place to call myself a part of that community when, frankly, I'm not! Again, I am in full support of the crust punk movement and stand by your sides, any crust punk that comes onto this page is fully welcomed with open arms! <3

[omgjumin]

hi!! i saw the event post and immediately i was interested. nanami kento + angst prompts 9 + 11, gn!reader pls! (could u also maybe include reader being hurt and him comforting reader? if u want ofc) anyways i'm looking forward to this, and take ur time!!

the picture - nanami kento

summary: you looked around the shared house, different pictures of the two of you together from graduation up till now, but none of them stood out to you except the one where nanami proposed to you in.

tags: angst but there's comfort at the end, marriage, fighting, pet names (baby, love), overthinking

notes: it was so hard to not cry while writing this like gosh but im glad i could get out of my writers block bc of this

"kento, all i'm asking is that you help me with the wedding planning. i understand that you are busy and so am i. i just need-" you paused yourself, trying to carefully pick out words that won't set off your fiancé. "i just need you to be here with me. you even missed our kimono and dress fittings today." for a to-be-wife, you knew you shouldn't be this hesitant to touch nanami but as your hand went in to graze against his, it shook anxiously.

"if you understand then why don't you just leave me alone when i'm working? let's have this conversation later." nanami retracted his hand from under yours before brushing you off as if you weren't anything important to him. "you always say that and i'm tired of being ignored like this every time i try to talk to you." fighting with nanami was nothing new. petty fights, serious ones, or even jealous fights, the two of you knew that if you didn't calm down and communicated your concerns, you wouldn't get anywhere. 

however, now, you felt as if you were just a lousy bug, flying around and about nanami's ear. "just talk to me please. you can't expect me to take care of this on my own. it's our-" the shakiness of your hands only worsened when you felt your heart rate increase. the pounding against your chest felt as if it was in your throat. no matter how many deep breaths you took, it just wouldn't ease the feeling in your throat. it squeezed and squeezed until it could choke a sob out of you. crying wouldn't get your way, you knew that, but somehow you couldn't stop yourself from letting tears fall down your face. "please, for the love of god, shut the fuck up for once. im busy so please leave." you were used to it. used to the monotone of his voice. yet his voice was laced with nothing but annoyance for you at the moment which shocked you to the core. you didn't need to turn around to know that nanami's own words didn't register in his brain yet.

without saying another word, you quickly left his home office. you looked around the shared house, different pictures of the two of you together from graduation up till now, but none of them stood out to you except the one where nanami proposed to you in. a smile subconsciously snuck a way onto your face before you quickly shook it off. you felt as if you were betrayed, no, mistaken by his words. nanami promised that no matter what, you were together, a team, that would help each other through the most difficult days and the easiest. and yet, here you were overthinking, on whether or not nanami truly meant his words. no, nanami never goes back on his promises. especially to you. but you couldn't help but to second guess yourself on if it was worth it to go back in there to try again and apologize but there was nothing to apologize for. you never did anything besides support him throughout his work. how come he didn't do the same?

your eyes wandered until it landed on your keys dangling from a rack near the front door. you doubted yourself. you doubted nanami's love for you in that second. you shouldn't have, really, but recently his actions weren't proving you wrong. hesitantly, you looked down at your engagement ring before looking back at the picture. no, you can't, you said to yourself before grabbing your keys and leaving the house. you didn't have a clue as to where you wanted to go but as long as you didn't have to be around nanami at the moment, anywhere was fine.

just somehow, somehow, your subconscious followed the same familiar path. the same roads that felt like home as they were leading you to the place in the picture. as if you wanted to relive the moment, not wanting to face reality. the bright half-moon that accompanied the twinkling stars in the sky did everything they could to comfort you, in some way. the picture was taken a little bit earlier in the night however you could see the soft glowing moon in the sky up above the love of your life kneeling before you. oh how you wished that nanami was there to hold you in his arms as he swayed along to the sound of the rushing river down beneath you. his chest pressed firm against your back as his face was cradled in your neck. your welcoming scent filled his senses as he basked in your love. nanami pressed soft kisses onto your neck, claiming that he's only trying to warm you up from the chilly summer nights. "yeah, whatever." you rolled your eyes clearly not annoyed as you quietly chuckled to yourself. "mm turn around." nanami said as he removed himself from out your neck, placing his hands on your hips loosely. "i love you." nanami whispered as he dived into your lips. "i love you too, future husband." the two of you laughed, flustered at the new name he held for you. 

that moment was nothing more than two months ago. you sighed as you leaned against the same railing, hearing the same river flow down the stream, seeing the same moon that shined above, smelling the same occasional whiff of a nearby street food cart, and tasting the same chap-stick off your lips. it felt all too familiar but felt all the more distant. the feeling was comfortable but awkward as you stood there alone. though all you needed was time alone, time to calm yourself down before trying again. but that time was cut by the soft tap on your shoulder. "kento?" you nervously called out, your voice wavering as it filled the silence. "what are you doing here?"

"i could ask you the same."

"how did you know i'd be here?" you slowly but surely removed yourself off of the railing. the comfortable atmosphere faded out to be uneasy. the once comfortable silence came to be suffocating as you felt yourself being torn apart in nanami's gaze. "where else would you be?" nanami spoke after taking a deep breath. if nanami was being truthful, he saw your eyes linger on the picture before you left. the dejected expression that filled your eyes as you turned away towards the door made his heart drop. he didn't know where he stood with you at the moment, so he refrained from touching you. but all you wanted was for him to embrace you in his arms and hold you there like he did two months ago. it seemed as if the world was plotting against your desires. however, nanami took a step forward, shortening the distance between you two. you took a sharp breath in before looking away, pretending as if anything was more important than the overwhelming presence of your fiancé. and at that nanami felt daggers shooting into his chest. it was his fault entirely but he couldn't help but feel hurt at your reluctance to meet his eyes.

"please look at me." nanami pleaded as he took one step closer. you let out a breath that you didn't even know you were holding in as you turned back his way. your eyes were glistening in tears yet looked dry in expression as you met his. the ones that would be lighting up with love as soon as you laid eyes on him now were the ones that offered nothing more than a look of somberness. "i wish i never acted the way i did towards you, i'm sorry." your nails dug into your palm as you fought back the tears that threatened to fall once more. one step closer. that was all it took for him to only be mere inches away from you. "i should have never said those things to you and i am so sorry, my love." you truly couldn't stand it. being so close to nanami and yet his hands were placed by his side. but you were mad at him, you felt so displeased with yourself and him that you didn't know, you didn't let yourself be comforted by being in his arms. however, nanami couldn't let you stand there, fighting yourself in complete silence as he watched the victorious tears fall down your cheek. he carefully brushed back strands of hair behind your ear before slowly bringing you in his arms.

and upon impact, you softened. your tense shoulders dropped but the sound of your crying only got louder into his chest. his work shirt was getting drenched but he didn't care. not when your muffled cries were the product of his actions. nanami stood silently as he ran his fingers through your hair, petting it calmly as an action to soothe you. "baby?" he called out when he noticed your cries started to get quiet. you hummed as a response, too scared to trust your voice. "look up at me." you pulled yourself from his chest, looking up at him with tearful eyes but nanami only took his thumb to wipe away the stray tears. "i love you" nanami softly smiled as he witnessed your first smile of the night. "i love you too, future husband." though the two of you weren't bashful of the nicknames as before, it was used as a way to ground yourself. that after everything, nanami was still here, ever so hopelessly in love with you. "i'm sorry i've been so caught up in work recently. but let's go home and figure something out, okay? we are a team and i'll make sure it feels that way." you nodded as laced your hands around his torso. "okay."

[wild-aspen]

“Proship DNI” is bc a lot of “Proshippers” who post pedo content would start interacting w and following real children (under 18) online. Said shippers also rarely tagged properly, then got all pissy when the kids started getting mad that they couldn’t avoid pedo content, and that adults w pedo kinks were following them & trying to interact w them bc like, that’s dangerous. U don’t have to post this btw I just saw ur post & wanted to add context as someone who is on the outside of the discourse.

I'll post it, but I just want to note that it's not "a lot" of "proshippers" doing this, because "proship" is not a synonym for "pedo content". You know how I know that?

"Pro ship" was, until quite recently, the default position within fandom. Everyone was "pro ship". Everyone followed a "ship and let ship" standpoint. Everyone tagged. Everyone minded their own business. Everyone said "Don't like? Don't read!". Communities on LJ and on forums would kick you out if you made a fuss about a fic or pairing or kink someone wrote. Being an "anti" was a minority and you were a troublemaker, a drama-starter, and not welcome in most writing communities. People still had triggers and squicks, but they were responsible for themselves, and didn't engage in content they disliked.

So no, you cannot use "pro ship" as a synonym for "pedo content".

Are there gross people out there doing what you described above? Definitely! But guess what. If they were seeking out minors, weren't tagging, and actively being pedophiles as you've described, they were also not welcome in the communities, because one of the HUGE main rules of these communities was keeping NSFW fic away from children, keeping the communities 18+ ONLY, and TAGGING PROPERLY.

So the creepers were always EXCLUDED too. If you got caught sharing NSFW content with kids? You were OUT.

So yeah. The majority of people in fandom are and have always been what antis describe as "pro ship".