#u don't know if ur post is in a community being engaged with. like just interact with my post in the normal way of things pls id like to see

[peskyfirefly]

i don't understand the point of tumblr communities and at this point im too scared to ask

[bluestjayy]

fck stop begging for comments on here all the damn time. i did like u as a writer but its getting so pathetic and annoying now jus begging constantly. Ur writing isn't that good for getting tonnes of comments anyway half the time Ur dragging plots and characters r so uninteresting probs coz Ur on here begging instead of writing properly. every update feels rushed lately it shows u don't even care anymore. just stop begging and focus on updating instead that's all pppl want

Hey anon, I normally don't respond to rude asks like these because I think what you want is the attention.

I especially don't usually respond to asks that have, in any way, anything to do with begging or demanding I update my fics (and I have seen an uptick in those in recent months) but I'm gonna respond to this one, and by proxy, all the others currently sitting unread in my inbox, and any future asks of this nature that may come my way.

Buckle in, this is a long one.

First, I'm going to assume by 'begging for comments' you mean the few posts I have been reblogging over the past couple of days that encourage readers on AO3 to engage with authors by leaving positive and thoughtful comments, and discouraging them from making unreasonable and impersonal demands. If this is the case then I would like to clarify that I am not 'begging for comments', rather I am supporting a community of writers like myself who are actual human beings who take several hours, days, even weeks, out of our very real lives in order to make something and share it with the world and for some reason are beginning to see a trend of entitlement slowly growing across our comment sections. A trend we wish to nip in the bud because, as I previously pointed out, fanfiction authors are real life human beings, taking time out of their days to make something, not machines on a factory line that churn out content at the behest of someone's demands. We want our fandoms and communities to be safe, supportive spaces where we can have fun. We don't want them to become workloads that begin to feel like full time jobs.

Secondly, to say my writing isn't all that good but in the same message tell me to update? Wild my guy. Truly. But let's keep breaking down AO3 comments/kudos/general feedback (such as this delightful ask you sent my way, I guess hoping it would make me want to update??) from readers and how this can affect an authors updates, this time using one of my favourite metaphors for this type of thing and see if it helps:

AO3 is a potluck. It's a backyard party. There is a veritable buffet at this party. My fic is the cake I baked myself to bring for all my friends to eat. One of my other friends brought potato salad. Another friend brought the punch. Everyone who is at this fun get-together brought something to offer at the buffet table.

Now, I might not like potato salad, but you know what I'm not going to do? Tell my friend to her face that her potato salad sucks and she never should have brought it. I'm going to politely pass on eating it, and be glad that all the people at the party who do like potato salad have something to eat. In the same vein, not everyone is going to like my cake, maybe the flavour is wrong, maybe I used too much icing, maybe they just don't like cake. But that's fine, they don't have to eat my cake. But if you choose to eat my cake, and find you don't like the flavour after taking a bite, then the polite thing to do is quietly stop eating the cake, and go and find something else to eat.

Do not seek me out and tell me to my face everything that was wrong with my cake, and why you don't enjoy it. Do not tell me to my face, that my cake sucks and you wish I'd never brought it.

Do you think telling someone that you hate the way they made a cake is a good and productive way to get them to keep making cakes for you? Or perhaps, is the way to keep an amateur baker wanting to bake, to tell them what you enjoyed about their cake. Even a simple, 'I really liked this cake' goes a long way.

And if you do like my cake, if you love my cake actually, do not then follow me home from the party and start demanding I make you cake all the time. I don't always have time to make cakes.

And just to cover all of my bases, because I am also seeing a trend of folk who think that sharing fanfiction online is the same as submitting manuscripts to publishers and that therefore criticism is allowed. It's not.

To continue to beat this cake metaphor. This is the difference between taking my cake to a party with friends (AO3) and taking my cake onto the Great British Bake off (A professional publishing environment).

If I wanted constructive criticism on my cake, I'd seek it out from expert bakers who know what they're talking about.

No one goes to a friend's party with a cake they made and wants to hear what they're doing wrong. Unless explicitly asked, keep your criticisms to yourself and put the cake down if you don't like it. It's so very easy to not eat a cake if you hate how it tastes.

Finally, a combination of both the points above, really, but I cannot stress this enough. These usernames you're sending anonymous asks to? The handles on AO3 you're writing comments for? They're people. They are human fucking beings that deserve respect and kindness. I am a human being. And sending what you sent up there to another person over fanfiction?? That's just mean, friend. That's just out and out cruelty. I have no other words to describe that.

I could give a flying fuck if you think I'm begging for comments. I could care less you wanna say my writing is terrible. At the end of the day, my writing is mine and I'm going to keep doing it because I find writing fun. It's a hobby that helps me de-stress from the horrors of my real life situations. Frankly, you should be begging me to stop because I have no plans to do anything but keep inflicting my drawn out plots and bad character writing on the world for as long as it keeps making me happy.

But I beg you to take a second off of social media today and think over what makes fandom- something that should be a hobby, a safe place to escape from the world- this serious for you. Because the kicker in all this? My friend, if you think what I post is annoying and my writing is bad, you can not see it. You can block me. You can click away from my stories. Your online space is yours to curate and no one, literally not a single person, is making you engage with things you don't want to engage with. Curate your space, fill it with people who aren't 'begging for comments', fill it with fics you think are really good and deserve to be told how good they are through wonderful comments. Please, I am begging you, because at the end of the day to live in such negativity must be so exhausting for you.

I've no idea if you, the original sender of this message will even read through all of this, but if you did, please, if not me, then any other fandom creators you come across going forward. Please treat them with kindness. Please respect that sometimes fandoms are spaces people hide in when their real lives are scary and frustrating and negative enough and all you do with messages like these is drive people away.

TL;DR: this is not the way you get more updates from fic authors, and further from that, it's not the way you treat anyone. Ever. Do better. Do much better.

[bunny-behind-a-keyboard]

hiii i hope you're doing well!! /gen

i just saw your post (it was from a few months ago) where you said that you're okay with asks about kin-related activities so i was wondering if you have any suggestions for angelkin/divinekin activities? (/nf)

if you don't have any ideas no worries!!!

-@aureatewings

hihi im SO sorry i dont know how i never saw this !! :0

im a demon lord myself so this is a little outside my realm, but ill do my best ! i feel like there must be some cross over anyway with divine kin :o

ANGEL/DIVINEKIN ACTIVITIES

🕊️ meditation! get in touch with the higher powers or simply allow the world to move around you. as a higher being, the constant stimulation of the human world can pull us in and distract us from our connection to the universe, the world, your deity, or even your own sense of self. allow yourself space to reflect and remember the scale of the universe and where you came from.

-> as an aside to this, cloud gazing can also be a good activity! it promotes the same kind of mindset, but if you are one who comes from the heavens or used to have wings, it can help to watch the sky above.

🕊️if you are a creature who is meant to help humans or command others, it may help to go into a leadership position. naturally we want to see our actions impact the world around us, and you can do this positively by engaging in your community, charities, or other groups around you like youth groups, churches, clubs, etc.! especially if you are an angel of a kind god, this may help you feel like your back in touch with your 'purpose' of aiding mortals.

🕊️ personally, i find it can help to get creative around more abstract/obscure kintypes to find ways to represent yourself. explore how you may express your sense of self - do you manifest as a wall of code, or a mixed media instillation with imagery and sound? are you a video? a sculpture? i find it fun to explore how the essence of my being feels when it is unable to be perfectly seen/experienced by the human mind.

thats all i can think of at the moment, but ill add onto this if i think of anything else! feel free to reblog with ur own ideas too ! ^^ apologies if this isnt quite what u wanted, i did my best coming from the perspective of a demon lord :>

[vorecommunitywoes]

hey just been reading your posts and while i dont wanna cause any drama at all, nor do i completely see eye to eye with some of your statements (which is an absolutely human thing, to not fully agree), i do agree on the statement/comment you made about minors posting vore in public. personally i get really ashamed when talking about liking vore as a nonsexual special interest/comfort because so many close friends i trusted too much would humiliate and shame me for liking it, telling me it was only ever sexual and even going so far as to call me some really unsavory things. i haven't really posted much any vore online recently, as i've been keeping it between peeps on discord who i trust not to out me to others who don't like that stuff. TDLR i absolutely agree with the statement on minors interacting w/adults, i am rather cautious when people dm me, and i don't plan on posting my TCT art publicly again until i am at least 18. sorry for the long ask i hope i didnt ruin your day /lh

(this ask was sent on nov 13th)

i agree that its best to keep this between other ppl u know yea and to keep it that way until ur 18

and u didnt deserve being called names or insulted for having a nonsexual interest, especially since u are being responsible about it to only talk to other peers. its nothing to be ashamed of when, again, u are being responsible in who u expose this type of content to which i assume u are

i also encourage u to branch ur friend groups to non-vore related ones if u have not already, as in keeping those ties separate. its a lot healthier in the long run to be able to connect with other ppl on multiple topics and not one singular niche thing (which i did when i was young, i used to only be in sfw vore groups and when i tried to finally pull away when i was continuously groomed by adults i felt completely isolated with nowhere 2 go)

also local community ties if ur able to

this is nothing to be ashamed of, its just time and place that matters a ton with a sensitive topic that is literally about extreme close physical intimacy with another person. it can quickly go into violating territory which ppl seem to not fucking understand and downplay it so they can engage COMPLETELY uncritically and continue the cycle of grooming and abuse that happens in fetish communities!!! i dont think ur doing that at all but i do ask that u treat this type of thing with care and to not let ppl cross ur boundaries and to also take care of others boundaries

[matoitech]

it’s obviously important for ppl to criticize misogyny particularly transmisogyny in trans male communities since thats a trans community issue but if ur also tme and the only thing u ever exclusively talk about trans men for is talking abt us as bigoted misogynists (usually there’s a ‘binary’ slapped in front of it) i genuinely think you need to put the phone down go outside and remember that whatever insane misogynist guys online are saying is not a necessarily a reflection of like things adult men outside of a weird fringe group of freak transmisogynist dudes on tumblr who think the boys should get our own word JUST like the GIRLS or its NOT FAIR!! or whatever (and one coined by a fucking terf at that..) are saying, or justification for behaving weirdly about an entire diverse community of trans people.

again i do not say this to like dissuade ppl from discussing legitimate problems but like a couple points- 'binary' trans men r capable of talking about it ourselves, and we do, and we’re not the ones whose posts get shared about it. and second: if you’re only bringing us up to talk abt how shitty particularly TRANS men are you might have a problem you need to deal with? this is not a shocking statement. like at some point someone has to point it out to you and sit there and take the shit and patiently explain to you it’s that the problem comes when its literally the ONLY thing you bring us up for and act like we're not capable of talking abt this ourselves, and that its a problem how comfortable ppl r for letting ppl speak over/for us if the only similarity they share w trans men is.. an agab and not being cis (yikes!). or if theyre transmasc and male aligned in some capacity but dont have any interest in engaging with or considering themselves a part of like trans men, THEYRE the ones who need to talk abt it, bcuz the (usually 'binary') Trans Men wont (not saying those ppl cant or shouldnt but they may be treated differently for doing so)

first ppl liked using transmeds existing to throw up justification for treating us like a bigoted monolith you (uniquely) Just Dont Feel Safe Around and its normal to make assumptions abt us being transphobic especially if we don't identify by labels deemed 'safe' and Inherently More Radical, and now its pretending we all collectively cant recognize our privilege thru our intense blinding hatred of women and its up to you to save us from ourselves and beat some common sense into the inherently bigoted stupid about gender patriarchy dicksucker boys. like i dont know im tired of it when trans men being accused of only existing bcuz we want to be patriarchy bootlickers i guess is always what radfems have thrown at us, so its not like this negative perception of trans men filtered thru a supposedly progressive lense is new. a lot of adult trans men dont talk abt like particular hot shit thats discussed a lot on here rn (the 'trans misandry' shit for example) bcuz its was not a problem in the spaces we're in and we knew it was stupid as fuck right away and barely worth talking about to say 'yeah you know that thing we all know is stupid and bullshit? its stupid and bullshit'. bcuz we're not fifteen years old or weird misogynists. we have brains, don't hate women, and we dont all know and hang around the same people.

anyway dont take this post as a stand in for serious discussion and calling out misogyny (again especially transmisogyny) w other men, those posts do need to exist, i am not trying to say this stuff shouldnt be talked about. what i'm specifically pointing out is a frustrating pattern in the perception of and discussion of trans men that ppl probably dont realize theyre participating in. i do think it is very important to talk abt community issues and criticisms but if its literally the one thing you bring up trans men for i think being aware of that behavior has no NEGATIVES here. also do have to bring up i specified other tme ppl early on bcuz this isnt smth ive experienced or seen from transfems and their position as like the affected party of transmisogyny is automatically like .. if they have issues w trans men it is pretty inherently coming from a different place than like, a cis womans, or a tme nonbinary person, or a transmasc person with issues with trans men, or a cis mans, etc. tme ppl who are on a very different ground here, whose behavior is straight up different anyway

[neonbutchery]

listen i've been where u are mentally and it's really hard but u need to change ur mentality. do u send people asks? do u reply to posts? are u an active reblogger? engagement/community doesn't come from thin air online. u constantly have people reassuring u ur mods are good, that they appreciate u, they show interest in ur ocs. focus on that instead of the evil brain worms! it takes discipline and time but if u put in the mental effort to focus on the good it will get easier. i'm sorry ur sick as well, that doesn't help. but there's only so much the people around u can do and say to reassure u before it's really up to u. said with love.

i 100% agree w u anon, and it's very true that i genuinely need to engage more w people. to be completely honest i've lost interest/energy in interacting with tumblr for a while but it's true that i can't complain about not getting attention when i don't do the same. idk if this will make sense but i'm basically someone that needs to be prompted to do things, like "hey can you send me asks/reblog this/etc" because i often get the feeling that i'm annoying people and being cringey. which i know it isn't true, and i'm not using this as an excuse, just explaining where i can come from sometimes. also i'm genuinely interested in continuing this conversation if you'd like so please go off anon, i'm not going to get angry with you and i 100% understand where you're coming from!

[mochipon-vt]

i just wanna say to the vtuber space (and ig any online or otherwise space), mostly bc i saw a post from someone on twitter saying how bad the vtuber space is RIGHT NOW but this goes like.. as a general rule ALL the time: u have GOT to curate ur spaces.

the online/content creator/streamer/vtuber space/communities is not any different than it's ever been. there is ALWAYS going to be drama, bad/hot takes from people too terminally online to think critically on any matter ever, inevitable parasocial relationships, people who for some reason think they can dictate what counts as a 'real vtuber' (or creator) or not and unfortunately, frequent call-out posts bc for some reason we've gotten to the point where people can't resolve or step away from things behind the scenes anymore and think it's a better idea to rally their fans to 'resolve' issues.

PLEASE. make your space fit for YOU. it doesn't matter what space ur in online or irl, if something feels negative and harmful, u have got to learn how to not allow it within your space or correct behaviors of ur own to not engage with stuff that doesn't feel beneficial.

stop doomscrolling socials; there's always drama in one form or another and socials are preying on u via rage baiting or drama baiting to get u worked up enough to engage with it. it. will. burn. u. out. i promise. (i had to step away from tiktok bc it's so toxic it was eating my life away and making me feel awful.. i miss the fun but it's so Yuck).

be wary of who u associate with. i would think by now it's fairly well known there's a lot of bad actors within content creator spaces (quite frankly, i've not had many 1 on 1 interactions with a lot of other creators and just about ALL of them have been bad..) don't blindly trust anyone and everyone and don't ignore even the smallest red flag if something feels off about someone. there's been far too many abusers and creeps in these spaces to not be wary of even the nicest appearing people.

please, PLEASE do not pay attention to people's rude, negative and nonsense comments. if ur not doing anything that's harmful or hurting urself or others, who fucking cares what kinda vtuber u are, what opinions u have about this or that, what things u like or dislike OR IF UR SINGLE OR NOT. there are NO RULES to how u create ur vtuber or space. do whatever is fun for u and brings u joy. i promise u, there is an audience out there for EVERYONE. don't try to squish yourself in a box to cater to people who don't care enough about u to even be kind. ignore them, block them and move on.

don't bring any further attention to them bc often that's exactly what they want and in this environment where no one knows how to NOT DOX, HARASS AND THREATEN PEOPLE, even if u think ur community could never be capable of that, there's always gonna be at least one person who might not be so obviously reasonable enough to not attack someone else for negative comments online. unless ur being actively threatened, just don't engage, don't bring attention to it, move on.

that goes for any interaction ur not comfortable with as well. u do not have to put up with people who don't make u feel safe and comfortable. it doesn't matter if what they did was a 'little' offense or not, u can block them if it makes u comfortable. (this is something i struggle with sometimes as well bc i'm too nice to people;) this obviously includes parasocial relationships as well.

unfortunately, i'm not sure if there's a perfect answer for avoiding parasocial relationships other than often reminding ur community that u do not want to be viewed or interacted with that way but that of course is not a guaranteed deterrent. really, all anyone can do is hope they're doing their best to communicate well and staying safe.

everything else that was mentioned was basically the cost, time and effort it takes to be a vtuber and really, any kind of hobby/content creation is going to take all of these things. if u want to be a video creator or editor, if u want to be an artist making videos or gallery content, if u want to do cosplay/pottery/metalsmithing/skateboarding/photography etc, everything is going to cost at the very least the price of materials or equipment plus whatever extra u want to use to make ur particular content 'unique'. programs, assets, editing labor from others, etc.

video and streaming content is probably on the higher end of expensive hobbies but that's bc u need good/a lot of equipment to handle running a stream, games, a camera, interactive programs, (for vtubers) a model; not to mention if ur not an artist and want a good/higher end model/assets/overlays and tracking, models and tracking equipment gets very expensive the more professional u get.

with all that being noted, pls know.. by no means is a lot of money needed to START vtubing. don't be fooled into thinking anyone who's established or well off today started that way. EVERYONE started with low cost or budget things and many, even multiple channels till the one they have currently stuck. if it's something that interests u and u feel capable of handling negative experiences when they happen (bc they will happen but i promise, u get better at handling them and standing up for the values of ur space) don't be deterred by veterans in the space saying how bad the environment of it all is 'currently'. it can be very fun/rewarding when u get to a point of familiarity and 'success' (whatever defines success for u).

the nature of any online spaces have always been and always will be the way it is (the internet is HUGE; this one teeny tiny isolated bubble in it's particular problems and drama compared to everything outside of it), u just have to figure out a way to separate urself from the negatives and curate ur specific bubble of space to ur liking and hold ur audience and followers to the same standards.

if the cost and work it takes to do this seems like it's not for u but u already participate in enjoying others for entertainment, pls make sure to give them a lil extra appreciation bc it IS a lot of work at times. setting up and troubleshooting fun things for interactivity alone is a lot of work but also if someone is working on failing or faulty equipment and still trying to keep things going for y'all, it can be really draining and stressful to depend on unreliable equipment interfering with plans and schedules.

as for whoever was upset on twitter over things, i am truly sorry they feel stressed and burnt out from what they do. i think some of it is a collective 'online too much and the nature of socials is forming bad habits in everyone' and just a 'it's okay to take breaks sometimes. it doesn't have to be grind, time all the time'. obviously that becomes a bit more difficult to come to grips w/ if u rely on vtubing for income but breaks are needed nonetheless.

but i don't think it's the 'space' of anything being the definitive 'bad' (yes, there is a lot of bad happening all the time and it should not be but if anyone waited for the collective cleansing of online as a whole before they did anything, no one would ever start anything bc it's not going to happen) bc i don't see much different in how things are/now than any other spaces at any other time.

i, personally, simply cannot take seeing call-outs and drama coverage of some new abusive creep in the space every single day and i choose to try to stay out of it as much as i can (other than becoming familiar with names that may need to be avoided) bc it does pull u down a rabbit hole of anxiety and despair to see so much yuck happening within a space that u want to be positive, wholesome and fun.

anyway, i thought i'd just say something on this cos it's not the first time i've seen people say 'THE VTUBER SPACE IS BAD' bc of xyz but it's the same stories u see all over. the internet is just oversaturated and bad. manifest and maintain your peace and have fun

[happy-and-gay-tortoise]

hey sorry to basically be on 'anon' bc i really can't send asks from my main account lol but ANYWAY i'm sorry it looks like someone made u feel like shit about posting in the crust tag but i wanted to mediate if thats ok. im sorry someone made u feel you couldnt post in there but at the same time i get it, if ur not reaaaally into crust then it's weird to establish yourself within such a politically vocal and tight knit community.

i know if you go to them with open hands about how into crust u are they would welcome you and give you recs and support you, you just have to show u are into crust. there are a lot of people that come into crust punk without knowing what it is except for 'fashion', and crust punks are actively trying to remove 'fashion' punks from crust, so it doesn't become corporatised like punk rock did.

so i think with ur jacket not having any crust and your outfit of the day posts being non-crust music and your playlist not having crust on it until i assume someone said some horrible shit i think that becomes a point where the fear is realised as 'oh my god, here's another fashion-only prson who doesn't know/doesn't want to know what this is' and it puts this very tight-knit community on edge

that didn't give any one the right to be horrible about it tho like there are better way to do these things but crust is a negative-type community that is very violent? maybe? in various ways. full of people with big problems with a real hatred of the world. which is where that reaction came from. i honestly wouldn't take it to heart too hard and i know ur only a kid so that'll be very hard. but if u ever want to get more into crust i promise ask people for recs and they will help you and be so kind.

it's just worth remembering, sub cultures don't like to be stepped on bc the world is hellbent on making it digestible and corporate for the masses so you gotta come at it honestly. ok anyway sorry for pseudo anon again and have a nice day

(The pseudo anon is ok dw)

I appreciate this ask a lot! Funny thing is I'm mostly just not rlly labeling myself as crust anymore bc I'm not the biggest fan of the music in general and I don't wanna use the tags that are not accurate to me! I respect the crust community a lot and yall are always welcome here, I'm just more personally into what a lot of my asks have called "easier to listen to punk" I love the noise not music movement and I do listen to some death metal n stuff, but ska and ska punk are more my cup of tea yk!

The crust community is also, as you said, very full of (most of the time justified) violence and hatred, and as someone that is like an eco-anarcist, optimist punk, and just trying to consume as much positive content/ neutral content as possible it tends to not be my vibe! I totally understand why yall have the community tho as someone who is that kind of angry a lot if the time, yall are the people that make change, and when it is needed I join you, but at least rn, I won't be engaging with that (also due to personal circumstances)!

Also I understand how it gave that impression, I want to make it clear I understand that crust punk was/is a movement centered around the music, the heavy emphasis on politics, and the anger towards the systems that push us down. "Crust pants/jackets" are just things to show that! I very clearly do not fit one of those criterias tho and that's ok! I don't have to use the label crust punk to still be someone who is a valid member of the punk subculture! Plus, yall don't need to know what exact labels I use anyway lol. You are a community that has been fucked with and torn apart for years, and it's not my place to call myself a part of that community when, frankly, I'm not! Again, I am in full support of the crust punk movement and stand by your sides, any crust punk that comes onto this page is fully welcomed with open arms! <3

[omgjumin]

hi!! i saw the event post and immediately i was interested. nanami kento + angst prompts 9 + 11, gn!reader pls! (could u also maybe include reader being hurt and him comforting reader? if u want ofc) anyways i'm looking forward to this, and take ur time!!

the picture - nanami kento

summary: you looked around the shared house, different pictures of the two of you together from graduation up till now, but none of them stood out to you except the one where nanami proposed to you in.

tags: angst but there's comfort at the end, marriage, fighting, pet names (baby, love), overthinking

notes: it was so hard to not cry while writing this like gosh but im glad i could get out of my writers block bc of this

"kento, all i'm asking is that you help me with the wedding planning. i understand that you are busy and so am i. i just need-" you paused yourself, trying to carefully pick out words that won't set off your fiancé. "i just need you to be here with me. you even missed our kimono and dress fittings today." for a to-be-wife, you knew you shouldn't be this hesitant to touch nanami but as your hand went in to graze against his, it shook anxiously.

"if you understand then why don't you just leave me alone when i'm working? let's have this conversation later." nanami retracted his hand from under yours before brushing you off as if you weren't anything important to him. "you always say that and i'm tired of being ignored like this every time i try to talk to you." fighting with nanami was nothing new. petty fights, serious ones, or even jealous fights, the two of you knew that if you didn't calm down and communicated your concerns, you wouldn't get anywhere. 

however, now, you felt as if you were just a lousy bug, flying around and about nanami's ear. "just talk to me please. you can't expect me to take care of this on my own. it's our-" the shakiness of your hands only worsened when you felt your heart rate increase. the pounding against your chest felt as if it was in your throat. no matter how many deep breaths you took, it just wouldn't ease the feeling in your throat. it squeezed and squeezed until it could choke a sob out of you. crying wouldn't get your way, you knew that, but somehow you couldn't stop yourself from letting tears fall down your face. "please, for the love of god, shut the fuck up for once. im busy so please leave." you were used to it. used to the monotone of his voice. yet his voice was laced with nothing but annoyance for you at the moment which shocked you to the core. you didn't need to turn around to know that nanami's own words didn't register in his brain yet.

without saying another word, you quickly left his home office. you looked around the shared house, different pictures of the two of you together from graduation up till now, but none of them stood out to you except the one where nanami proposed to you in. a smile subconsciously snuck a way onto your face before you quickly shook it off. you felt as if you were betrayed, no, mistaken by his words. nanami promised that no matter what, you were together, a team, that would help each other through the most difficult days and the easiest. and yet, here you were overthinking, on whether or not nanami truly meant his words. no, nanami never goes back on his promises. especially to you. but you couldn't help but to second guess yourself on if it was worth it to go back in there to try again and apologize but there was nothing to apologize for. you never did anything besides support him throughout his work. how come he didn't do the same?

your eyes wandered until it landed on your keys dangling from a rack near the front door. you doubted yourself. you doubted nanami's love for you in that second. you shouldn't have, really, but recently his actions weren't proving you wrong. hesitantly, you looked down at your engagement ring before looking back at the picture. no, you can't, you said to yourself before grabbing your keys and leaving the house. you didn't have a clue as to where you wanted to go but as long as you didn't have to be around nanami at the moment, anywhere was fine.

just somehow, somehow, your subconscious followed the same familiar path. the same roads that felt like home as they were leading you to the place in the picture. as if you wanted to relive the moment, not wanting to face reality. the bright half-moon that accompanied the twinkling stars in the sky did everything they could to comfort you, in some way. the picture was taken a little bit earlier in the night however you could see the soft glowing moon in the sky up above the love of your life kneeling before you. oh how you wished that nanami was there to hold you in his arms as he swayed along to the sound of the rushing river down beneath you. his chest pressed firm against your back as his face was cradled in your neck. your welcoming scent filled his senses as he basked in your love. nanami pressed soft kisses onto your neck, claiming that he's only trying to warm you up from the chilly summer nights. "yeah, whatever." you rolled your eyes clearly not annoyed as you quietly chuckled to yourself. "mm turn around." nanami said as he removed himself from out your neck, placing his hands on your hips loosely. "i love you." nanami whispered as he dived into your lips. "i love you too, future husband." the two of you laughed, flustered at the new name he held for you. 

that moment was nothing more than two months ago. you sighed as you leaned against the same railing, hearing the same river flow down the stream, seeing the same moon that shined above, smelling the same occasional whiff of a nearby street food cart, and tasting the same chap-stick off your lips. it felt all too familiar but felt all the more distant. the feeling was comfortable but awkward as you stood there alone. though all you needed was time alone, time to calm yourself down before trying again. but that time was cut by the soft tap on your shoulder. "kento?" you nervously called out, your voice wavering as it filled the silence. "what are you doing here?"

"i could ask you the same."

"how did you know i'd be here?" you slowly but surely removed yourself off of the railing. the comfortable atmosphere faded out to be uneasy. the once comfortable silence came to be suffocating as you felt yourself being torn apart in nanami's gaze. "where else would you be?" nanami spoke after taking a deep breath. if nanami was being truthful, he saw your eyes linger on the picture before you left. the dejected expression that filled your eyes as you turned away towards the door made his heart drop. he didn't know where he stood with you at the moment, so he refrained from touching you. but all you wanted was for him to embrace you in his arms and hold you there like he did two months ago. it seemed as if the world was plotting against your desires. however, nanami took a step forward, shortening the distance between you two. you took a sharp breath in before looking away, pretending as if anything was more important than the overwhelming presence of your fiancé. and at that nanami felt daggers shooting into his chest. it was his fault entirely but he couldn't help but feel hurt at your reluctance to meet his eyes.

"please look at me." nanami pleaded as he took one step closer. you let out a breath that you didn't even know you were holding in as you turned back his way. your eyes were glistening in tears yet looked dry in expression as you met his. the ones that would be lighting up with love as soon as you laid eyes on him now were the ones that offered nothing more than a look of somberness. "i wish i never acted the way i did towards you, i'm sorry." your nails dug into your palm as you fought back the tears that threatened to fall once more. one step closer. that was all it took for him to only be mere inches away from you. "i should have never said those things to you and i am so sorry, my love." you truly couldn't stand it. being so close to nanami and yet his hands were placed by his side. but you were mad at him, you felt so displeased with yourself and him that you didn't know, you didn't let yourself be comforted by being in his arms. however, nanami couldn't let you stand there, fighting yourself in complete silence as he watched the victorious tears fall down your cheek. he carefully brushed back strands of hair behind your ear before slowly bringing you in his arms.

and upon impact, you softened. your tense shoulders dropped but the sound of your crying only got louder into his chest. his work shirt was getting drenched but he didn't care. not when your muffled cries were the product of his actions. nanami stood silently as he ran his fingers through your hair, petting it calmly as an action to soothe you. "baby?" he called out when he noticed your cries started to get quiet. you hummed as a response, too scared to trust your voice. "look up at me." you pulled yourself from his chest, looking up at him with tearful eyes but nanami only took his thumb to wipe away the stray tears. "i love you" nanami softly smiled as he witnessed your first smile of the night. "i love you too, future husband." though the two of you weren't bashful of the nicknames as before, it was used as a way to ground yourself. that after everything, nanami was still here, ever so hopelessly in love with you. "i'm sorry i've been so caught up in work recently. but let's go home and figure something out, okay? we are a team and i'll make sure it feels that way." you nodded as laced your hands around his torso. "okay."

[boreal-sea]

“Proship DNI” is bc a lot of “Proshippers” who post pedo content would start interacting w and following real children (under 18) online. Said shippers also rarely tagged properly, then got all pissy when the kids started getting mad that they couldn’t avoid pedo content, and that adults w pedo kinks were following them & trying to interact w them bc like, that’s dangerous. U don’t have to post this btw I just saw ur post & wanted to add context as someone who is on the outside of the discourse.

I'll post it, but I just want to note that it's not "a lot" of "proshippers" doing this, because "proship" is not a synonym for "pedo content". You know how I know that?

"Pro ship" was, until quite recently, the default position within fandom. Everyone was "pro ship". Everyone followed a "ship and let ship" standpoint. Everyone tagged. Everyone minded their own business. Everyone said "Don't like? Don't read!". Communities on LJ and on forums would kick you out if you made a fuss about a fic or pairing or kink someone wrote. Being an "anti" was a minority and you were a troublemaker, a drama-starter, and not welcome in most writing communities. People still had triggers and squicks, but they were responsible for themselves, and didn't engage in content they disliked.

So no, you cannot use "pro ship" as a synonym for "pedo content".

Are there gross people out there doing what you described above? Definitely! But guess what. If they were seeking out minors, weren't tagging, and actively being pedophiles as you've described, they were also not welcome in the communities, because one of the HUGE main rules of these communities was keeping NSFW fic away from children, keeping the communities 18+ ONLY, and TAGGING PROPERLY.

So the creepers were always EXCLUDED too. If you got caught sharing NSFW content with kids? You were OUT.

So yeah. The majority of people in fandom are and have always been what antis describe as "pro ship".

[howelljenkins]

heya kal, thanks for your post on getting a more "practical" (idk if that's the right wording but) major over one that's ur passion. i wasn't the original asker, but i agreed heavily and as always admire ur opinion. i'm at the age and place in my life where i'm thinking about college and what i should major in and i'd like to do as you mentioned in the post (yknok major based on stability on not on interests), but i'm having a really difficult time coming up w what to study/do. like the problem is i really really don't know what i'm interested in or what i'm good at. i was thinking about like what jobs are "ethical" or morally righteous or something, which is silly ik but i don't want to end up in something harmful. im just all over the place lol. i was wondering if u had any personal thoughts or advice? feel free to ignore

thabk you 🫡 i think you should focus more on the skill set you acquire from each major rather than the career paths they’re associated with. you can really find a job in any field with most majors. at the end of the day ur degree is just a piece of paper and employers care more about your experience and your skills. my studies focus on data analysis and my current position is literally straight up business and i’ve never taken a single business class in my life but i applied anyway and it paid off. personally, if i were choosing between majors in your situation i’d pick the one with the most internship opportunities to get a jump start on building your resume, giving you leverage to apply to a wider variety of jobs when you eventually do graduate OR you could graduate with a return offer to your internship and u could work there for a year or two to build that network and connections and give you a better chance of being able to pivot into new fields or jobs. it may mean a year or two of potentially unsavory work but I think it sets the stage for you having a leg up on your peers in terms of being able to secure a job that aligns with your morals sooner. if you put yourself out there and engage both with ur colleagues and with the community around you (be that school community or general public community) you never know who you might meet who could be involved in exactly the kind of work you value and could hook u up. i was at a random event at the library once and told a guy i loved spreadsheets and he turned out to be the VP of a company and literally offered me a job right then and there. anyway tl;dr be open to opportunities and don’t let ur major restrict ur career options!

[mueritos]

I'm yet another suicidal person who has had to struggle with mental illness and... Idk. I know the difference between someone telling a bigot (someone who has probably told a lot of gay teens to kill themselves) and someone telling me (a gay trans person) to kill my self

In fact, I don't think the bigot who said I should go through electroshock therapy because he thought that I was crazy had the best thing in mind when he said that. I think honestly he wanted me to off myself, I have no reason to believe that this dude really believed shocking my brain a lot would turn me cis and straight except for being very stupid

I've never told a single person to kill themselves, I'm not saying you should, but if a bigot is attacking someone and they defend themselves, you don't go "uh uh! No no!" And slap their wrist while the bigot is still punching. You fucking PUNCH the bigot and then teach them how to better defend themselves in private, where the bigot can't see

Idk if this makes sense. Sorry

No you make perfect sense. Its the one of the reasons why im not convinced about and im gonna be upfront and say that I Do Not Care how a marginalized person responds to people who want us Dead. I dont! And i also cannot bring myself to, because again, I dont have it in me. If you want to show compassion, go ahead! If you want to tell them fuck off or that you want to staple their nipples to their eyelids, go ahead! Im not going to police marginalized people’s responses to active real life harm.

And great point because its something that I fell back on in the time reading what yall have to say and thinking on it: punching up is NOT the same as punching down. Marginalized folks will ALWAYS have far less support than those who oppress us, and punching up in defense, in exhuastion, or in retaliation will NEVER amount to the scale of harm that has been caused when oppressed punch, kill, maim, and incarcerate our communities.

Normalize focusing on ur communities, yrself, and your communties’ wellbeing and protection. Like i cant believe the discourse, are u guys seriously gonna make a callout post for community members who engage in de-arresting, who engage in protection of their own communities, who beat up and silence bigots? Because knowing how chronically online some folks on this site are, yea I can already imagine the callout posts being made.

I’ve been in IRL spaces where our survival and wellbeing DEPENDED on excluding, gatekeeping, and barring bigots and liberals out from our spaces. Sometimes this includes literally being honest and telling people to FUCK OFF! And i know there are lots of other communities who do far more to ensure no bigot, fascist, or abuser enters their spaces. Online respectability politics will never translated into IRL because you cant just block or mute bigots. You need to make them scared.

So yea. Thanks for bring this up cuz it def helped me solidify my thoughts on all of this.

[sitp-recs]

Hey

Um I don't know if I should be asking this but I thought I'll try it since there's no ask option.

So I am in a lot of fandoms and I always see a lot of hate for ships or characters I like in comment sections and videos and stuff. Usually if it's like videos i just skip past but I am all about listening to the other side and not living in an echo chamber and it almost always ends with me feeling drained coz there's just a lot of hate most of the time. I was thinking about asking anything u usually do when it comes to hate where people say stuff like ur wrong or immoral for liking or reading something...

Thanks for all that u do for our fandom. Just saying it out to someone helped a lil. Thank u so much for ur recs, reblogs of lovely advice, being a nice and kind person in this fandom and everything else

Hi there! Thanks for sending this, I’ve reopened the asks because I really wanted to answer this one publicly. Many of my new followers may not know, but I’m a pro-shipper, ship & let ship, kinktomato and whatever else defines folks who couldn’t care less about what others enjoy in their free, private time. I happen to indulge many ships considered “problematic”, most of them involving age gap, so I consider myself personally implicated in any conversation about fandom hate. I may not receive as much in this blog but I certainly got it in other fandoms so I feel like I do have some experience (especially because I’ve dealt with this conflict internally, way before I decided to expose myself and engage with the fandom community).

Anyhoo! How do I deal with hate on ships and characters I enjoy? I tend to follow the avoid - delete - disengage triad. It’s not an easy task, it requires a lot of self-control and focus not to delve into it, but ultimately I’ve decided that my mental health is way above any rich, interesting convo I may get out of it. That’s easier said than done if we go beyond anon hate to include actual friends who disagree with you, but I feel like a compromise must be done on both cases.

For example, my fave character is Tony Stark. I love him like I’ve never loved any character before or since, and I’m particularly sensitive about his arc and about his relationship with Steve in Civil War. My closest fandom friend is @tackytigerfic and Tony is SO NOT her fave 😂 I know that, she knows I know that, we respect each other’s views and we simply don’t talk about it (Tacky is not a MCU fan either way and Drarry is soo much more interesting!) but I’m pointing this out because we get on really well and I’m sure we could have AMAZING convos about the MCU in general and about Tony and Steve in particular, but I won’t go there because it’s a discussion that wears me out, makes me bitter, makes me sad, makes me think and feel things I don’t want to face while I’m enjoying fandom in my free time. I guess your friends will either take it or leave it, but honestly respecting someone else’s limits is a basic friendship law (or it should be!) and a common courtesy in general.

People often ask us to be the “bigger person” and talk it out like the mature adults we are, but fandom isn’t a paid job - it’s a hobby and as such we owe absolutely nothing to strangers about whatever fictional preferences we choose to indulge in our free time. We all want different things out of fandom and I believe we should actively pursue it, and focus on what brings us joy, comfort and fulfillment. I don’t want to see things that upset me, and I’m not here to have mindblowing meta talks at the cost of my own peace of mind, not even with close friends. That’s not a compromise I’m willing to make, so I don’t. So I go on unashamedly deleting rude asks, ignoring shitty comments, blocking blogs, and living this fandom life inside my happy bubble. After a few years struggling to come with terms with what I enjoy and what I want out of fandom, it is that simple for me.

Now I’m 100% comfortable with knowing my reading preferences aren’t a reflection of my personality or morals, I feel freer and self-aware in a way I’ve never felt before. And again, this is what works for me - while my 2 cents may not be as helpful to someone else, I’m posting this publicly hoping to maybe start a conversation and get some other perspectives to share. I hope you find a way to deal with it that won’t take away your joy of interacting with fandom :) stay safe! ❤️

[toxicsamruby]

1/7 MM okay gotcha gotcha. I was thinking about this on a smaller scale, where i don't think discussing racism in supernatural should be "fun and interesting" (phrase you used in your original post that rubbed me the wrong way b/c [hot take] I don't think racist tropes reminiscent of the Birth of a Nation and the policing of poor black communities are fun and interesting. they're horrible. but, like you said, we shouldn't shy away from horrible things), but no yeah i get what you're saying about

2/7 people showing the same enthusiasm, willing participation, and depth when talking about this stuff as w/gender&sexuality. I agree with that AND it's important to keep in mind, especially with a fanbase that's largely white, whom these analyses are for and who is writing them (b/c a white person's racial reading isn't the same as a bipoc's). But, again, that's on the smaller scale, which appears to have more to do with personal accountability and discussion norms.

3/7 AND i also get what you're saying about using the entirety of supernatural to examine "american attitudes about the Other" and how that needs to be broken down in ethnic/racial/culture identities just as it is with queer indentities and yes i agree. as for the marketing/monetary engagement thing, i may have been speaking out of turn there because i don't know a ton about marketing or audience appeal and i also wasn't invested in all the spn meta/BTS stuff until recently.

4/7 what I said was purely my observations of the very specific 'spn renaissance' tumblr circle, which appeared different from the, say, twitter circles that pay for merch and whatnot (again, this may not be accurate, it's just from what i've seen). HOWEVER, that being said, if we're speaking specifically about the long-term, /larger/ cultural impact supernatural has, I 100% agree that it needs to be recognized and condemned as a racist and all-around patriarchal show. I did forget that spn made

5/7 so many headlines about both queerbaiting and having a queer character or whatever, and the same headlines need to be made about how it treats bipoc and other minorities. Although supernatural is a mess and considered cringey and a dead horse, it still holds a significant amount of power and (at least some) reputability in media. and this is all despite its misogyny and homophobia and cisheteronormativity (this is the case for so many shows, not just spn). I guess i was just concerned about

6/7 'ok, what if mainstream starts having these conversations about racism very specifically in a way that normalizes it and makes it seem hatecrime-but we'll-allow-it,' so now we have this monster of a show that KNOWS it's racist but doesn't really care. But it's equally as terrible to not point it out. But it doesn't matter anyways, because the show is over now, and it's not like they're gonna give reparations to the actors they killed and the people they hurt. your point about us having these

7/7 conversations (in a way that does not make it seem like like fun ideas to ponder over) being the only thing we CAN do to lessen the power the White Narrative of Supernatural (both meta and in-text) really resonates, and i hadn't thought of that but i totally agree. in other words lmao, fuck this show

yeah “fun” might’ve been the wrong word choice for all the reasons u gave i really didn’t mean to trivialize racism as a discussion and i see what u mean especially w how people have responded to the homophobia of supernatural me included like saying oh its homophobic but its funny so it’s fine and ur absolutely right that we Cant allow the discussion of race to go the same way (and honestly ur intuition was right bc in the tags of that post theres white people saying we SHOULD take it as lightly as the homophobia). so yeah the phrasing was my bad

but my general point stands. like i personally find it really fulfilling and interesting to talk abt how supernatural (and other fiction) replicates these american ideas about the Other bc supernatural is a FASCINATING microcosm of american culture (and of course in part bc i Am an american other)! and that post was mostly in response to how white fans seem to shy away from these extremely complex and interesting conversations bc they consider discussion of racism a chore like something they Have to do so they can say “it was bad that they killed off kevin tran. see i engaged critically! now back to the meta that relates to Me and My experiences”

and of course the analysis that becomes generally accepted and talked abt by fans shapes the actual presence of the show in pop culture. so we should do our best to write good and thoughtful and compassionate analysis of EVERY aspect of the text, especially one so deeply embedded as the race element.

basically yeah ur right and i think we pretty much agree. fuck this show! thank you for sending me these messages by the way im glad we could talk this out :)

[perenial]

knowing you're a phd student at your age is like why do i even bother lolll i don't even get to use being disabled as an excuse for being a failure anymore i guess 😛

hey anon, listen to me: u are absolutely not a failure. i know academic achievement is commonly seen in a lot of societies as the pinnacle of success but in reality it’s an institution designed in a very specific way that privileges certain kinds of work and learning over others. should universities expand their accessibility? of course!! let people engage with academia if it’s something they’re interested in and think they might like!! but should university be this paragon we make it out to be, the height of intelligence and personal value, at the detriment of other pathways? absolutely fucking not.

and i want to let u in on something else that no one told me before starting uni: literally no two people have the same entry into academia, nor should they. for some people like me we go all the way through high school to uni; others take time to raise a family or work another job or take care of themselves. ur path, whatever shape it takes, is not only valid but way more common than u think. 

and this includes dropping out! my partner dropped out of her undergrad and now she’s a freelance artist working on developing her brand and publishing her own original fiction!! and every single day i think about how proud i am of her, for acknowledging that university wasn’t making her happy or healthy or giving her the same kind of fulfilment that it gives me. in my eyes, she’s a smarter and braver person for being able to step away from academia, for looking after her own mental health and realising that the lifestyle offered by universities just didn’t fit her. 

that being said, i completely understand how ur feeling right now. i’ve mentioned this before in another post but i actually dropped out of high school and completed year 12 at a community college because my disabilities (among other things) weren’t being accommodated for. at the time it felt like my entire life was crumbling around me, that i wasn’t smart or skilled enough to finish school like other people, that i was never going to succeed in the things i cared about. it’s a scary position to be in, being told that the way u function isn’t suited for the institution ur operating within, and sometimes u aren’t able to fight against it for ur right to stay the way u want to. it sucks and it’s not fair and we definitely need to have louder conversations about this As A Society, but for the time being? do best by u, for u. if that means slowing down or stopping or taking a different approach, then not only is that okay, it’s right. 

[peachyteabuck]

I know that this aroace Yelena topic may be tiring (as an aroace person that has been seeing this discourse all over my Tumblr and sometimes on TikTok, I am lol)

I have a problem where I can see the two sides of this, on one side i know that it is fiction, if I don't like it, i won't read it (personally I don't read Yelena smut because i don't feel comfortable for example) BUT as was said before, when you take a lgbtqia character, gay, lesbian, and turn them straight, most people would NOT take this very well, and the writers, fans that would headcanon and write them as straight would continue doing it anyway, the same ive been seeing with Yelena

My main problem is with the reaction twords the fact that Yelena is canonically Aroace, and everyone is trying to erase this by saying "that's not even explored in the comics" or *hoping* that in the MCU she "hopefully won't be Aroace" and that's so frustrating u know? If it was a gay or lesbian character with a chance to be canon in the MCU, people would celebrate, demand that marvel and Disney would make them gay, but just the thought of one Aroace character and suddenly it's all questionable? "Oh maybe she isn't"

I know that at the end of the day I can't control anyone's writing or headcanon, and that's alright, just don't be an jerk and put a whole community down just so you can fuck the character in ur head, or ship them with anyone

And about the "oh but aro and ace people can date and have sex" yes they can, but are their experience being written the way a asexual would deal with it? The way a aromantic person would feel? Most of the time I'm sure that it would be a big no

Again I'm not trying to attack you and I'm sorry if I sounded rude or anything, i follow you and I love your writing, but I've seen this discussion so much and it's like when we (Aroace people) talk about it, no one is really listening and it's frustrating sometimes

Sorry if it's too much and if my way of though didn't make sense lol

prerequisite context: i am never and will never deny the power of fanfiction to be morally abhorrent, and i have never and will never claim that fanfiction writers are never responsible for the context we produce.

so I guess there are a few main reasons people are claiming writing yelena within sexual and romantic contexts is bad, according to the people in my inbox:

1) unequal fan backlash

2) unequal fan celebration/comics = mcu

3) improper representation of ace/aro people who do engage in sexual/romantic contexts

in regards to those:

fan backlash and celebration are exceedingly poor reasons to do/not do something. mostly because, especially in the MCU, there are fans who are homophobic, they're conservative, they're trump supporters. several actors are those things. there's no reason to use fan response (whether backlash or celebration) as a motivation to do something, because fans are sometimes wrong. additionally, "fans" is a pretty wide term. are people who prefer comics fans? young teens? people who don't write fanfic? those who only make edits? tik tokers? cosplayers? whose opinions should we listen to? whose shouldn't we?

plus, as i've canon compliance in the MCU is a pretty massive beast. characters are whitewashed left and right, their origin stories changed and plotlines are plucked out of thin air or altered heavily from the source material. yelena can be aroace in one comic run and not in the other. what i've also seen are post-production comments, which are often made to pander so that directors can say they made "MCU's first ace character" without putting in the work. is that something we should listen to? it brings up the golden question: are fanfic writers responsible for fixing broken media?

i don't think so. we're often people doing this for free (or close to it). we're broke, we work other jobs, we have other hobbies. we don't have sensitivity writers or editors or researchers. why are we responsible for fixing massive canon mistakes in a 2k fic about pet play, and why aren't the creators of the media we're writing fanfiction about the center of the backlash?

lastly, the line "are their experience being written the way a asexual would deal with it? The way a aromantic person would feel? Most of the time I'm sure that it would be a big no" is exceedingly odd to me. who says ace people can't want to be werewolves? or engage in omegaverse? or fuck in hallways? or engage in BDSM?

what does it mean to write an aro/ace character in these contexts? what doesn't it mean? if a creator thinks aro/ace people are liars, and that ace people need to go to conversion therapy, but writes a fluffy yelena fic where her and reader have a movie night with no sexual/romantic context, is that good aro/ace representation? why or why not?

all in all, i understand if there's some frustration. but every time someone takes the "writing yelena in sexual/romantic contexts is Always Morally Wrong" side, all i see is misplaced and uninformed criticism. it's 100% better to either write the fics you want to see or support creators who do, than come into inboxes of people who don't.