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#u don’t need to boil him down to a dumbass just be he likes a joke
daredussy · 1 year
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soap can be silly goofy and smart at the same time, he’s like michael vsauce
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Could u maybe do one with damiano where they Get into A fight and He says something very mean but it need with fluff i hope u understood. Thanks :)
𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬, 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐦 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬
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𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐨 𝐝𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐝 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐢 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 1769
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 (𝐨𝐫 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐲 𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐞𝐬- 𝐨𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐞𝐡𝐞𝐡𝐞𝐡)
your day wasn't the best when you came home — your head hurt, the day was freezing cold from the moment you peeled the blanket off of yourself, and the hours in the office felt like thrice longer than usual. your boyfriend, damiano couldn't take you out at your office, since his studio was in the opposite direction than your office, but you got in late too because he couldn't find something he needed. you were a little bit nervous, but you just sushed your thoughts and tried to forget the words damiano and you said to each other.
"why can't you just leave the things in their original place? is this that hard to note?"
"be glad that i washed it out."
"be glad that i washed it out…"
damiano mimicked your voice, you hoped that the tone of his voice was only annoyed and derisive because he was tired.
thus, your mom called you in lunch just to call you about that there's no room in the house for you because your other cousins need place until the end of christmas –you couldn't stop the bitter taste in on your tongue, maybe that's why you couldn't hide the disappointment and gloom in your tone.
"but… where gonna i sleep then?"
"sweetheart, you can rent out a hotel room for a few days, don't you?"
"but mom, that's so much money!"
"did i mention that we would be so, so happy if we could meet your boyfriend? what was his name, danny?"
could your mother for only once not change the topic of the talk, if that began to change uncomfortable for her?
"it's damiano, mom."
"damiano, yes. so, is it alright for you?"
i don't have another option, and you know this too too well.
"yes. bye, mom."
you didn't wait for her "goodbye, sweetheart", slamming the red button on your phone.
and now, at the end of this ironically 'happy' and 'succesful' day, you stood in your living room, with your phone in your hand, pressing together your lips as damiano said out those words. you hoped that when you get home, you can take a long shower or run a bath while damiano sits on the edge of the tub, or even bathing with you, talking about this shitty day while you and damiano hate the world together, sharing a bottle of champagne and painting each other's nails –but he too decided to go against you.
"i think you shouldn't worry that much about that."
"what?"
"come on babe, it's just your mom. she's always dramatic, you shouldn't pull it on yourself that hard."
"no, i think you don't understand my problem, she literally said that her daughter don't have a place, a bed in the house she grew up during fuckint christmas!"
"shake it off, y/n. we're gonna figure it out."
"we're gonna figure it out, what does that mean to you, huh? christmas is approaching, day by day, the hotels are sure as hell full, even the airbnb-homes, but yeah, you're right, we have all the time in the world to figure it out!" you acted with your hand, more sarcastic than ever.
"what are saying now, that is my fault that you got a late call?"
you sighed, feeling your soul heavier than ever –the pound in your head spreaded down into your chest, giving the sour feeling of crying.
"no, i'm just telling you that you could be a little bit more helpful and understanding… it's about my family, my mom, mia madre as you used to say! how can't you understand this?"
"i am not understanding enough? how can you say this?"
don't do this, dami, don't manipulate my feelings, at least not you –don't make me more miserable, please.
"i say this because i can only talk with your about this! i trust you only with my problems, my problematic mother and my other shitty things, and now you just say that i should calm down on a problem that means bigger to me than ever?"
"well it's not my problem to have a useless mother!"
it was enough. far enough for you to snap.
"than you know what?",
grabbing your purse and coat,
"fuck you!" with that, you slammed the door and stepped out of the house. you didn't know where to go on the year's coldest day –you only knew that you don't want to stay near anybody right now. maybe renting out a hotel room wasn't a that-bad idea. or going to vic, and block damiano and your mother for the next two days.
trying to call vic, you didn't even noticed that your bump into somebody, pulling together your coat on yourself, you decided to go afoot to the next bus stop, maybe damiano runs after you, but right now you couldn't face him, after everything he said.
well, it's not my problem to have a useless mother. did he think this the whole time, the whole time when you bragged about your family? that that's only your pathetic problem? you couldn't see the screen of your phone from hé blur of your tears –they immediately broke down on your neck and cheek, then freezing in the cold wind, only leaving a chilly, uncomfortable feeling. the snow crashed through the clouds, everything were white and so, so cold, the wind blew in between your coat and sweatshirt –your teeth crashed together as you pleaded to the sky and vic to pick up that phone. your stomach grumbled,
"it's almost half ten, what do you want?"
"vic, oh my god! i'm so glad, can i ask you a little favour?"
"what the fuck, is is it you, y/n? i thought damiano called me this late, he would lose his phone and use yours, the dumbass. what's the problem?"
"can i sleep at you?"
"of cour- why?"
"please, i'll tell you everything, but…" you wailed suddenly, you were surprised too, not to mention vic.
"sweet jesus, was that you? grab a cab and come here, fast! i'm calling damiano."
"no, no please!"
vic didn't respond.
"come here safe, okay?"
"okay. bye, vic."
the line cut off, leaving you there in the winding snow –more five or six streets? you still pondered on damiano's words between tears and shivers, while trying to hug yourself as warmly as you could.
you barely reached the second corner when you heard a humming of a car. can't be a taxi, but then… who's on the streets this late, in this tempestuous weather? excluding me, you thought, could laugh but in a soaked coat, sweater and socks you only wanted to survive until vic's.
turning your aching neck, at first you thought you hallucinate –seeing damiano's black car was nearly a dream, a mirage. does hypothermia kicks in that soon?
as the car approached you, it stopped beside you.
"do you really gonna walk to vic like this? did you call a cab?"
you ignored damiano, walking towards, your bag almost slipped out of your hand.
"let me help you cara mia, i'm sorry. can we talk about this in the car? it's warm in here, too."
stubbornly, with shaking hands, you wiped off the wet locks from your face. hearing a quiet murmur, something like 'okay, that's enough', the door of the car opened, inviting you to sit on the passenger's seat. you stopped the marching, looking at damiano with crossed arms.
"i'm not going anywhere until you get in this car. you can walk to vic, but i'm gonna follow you, and i'm gonna sit in here until you collect enough peace to talk with me."
it warmed your heart a little bit, but the harsh words sung in the back of your head –reluctantly, but slowly you got in the car. damiano didn't hesitate a moment to turn on the child safety lock system as you closed the door. you huffed.
"is it really neccessary?" you asked quietly.
"i don't want you to change your mind when we get back home "he said. "do you need anything? a blanket, a coffee? a tea? i'm texting thomas to boil some water."
"thomas... how? and why?"
"he came for some butter, but you bumped into him, thomo was surprised even that you're that…" –searching for the right words, it was hard and awkward for each of you.
"listen, y/n, i–"
"no, dami, i was just upset and–"
"no, wait! it's my time to apologize. because in the past time, i got carried away. i said things and i said them without thinking about how hurtful they can be. i should be glad, so fucking gratefuo that i have a girlfriend, a lover like you, a lover who nurtures me, who search my lost things even when i can't find them because i'm such a clumsy ass, a lover who shares her deepest secrets and problems with me. a lover who trusts me so much, who accepts my little habits… i know i can't take back the things i said about your mother and your problems, but the least i can do is make you forget about it, and support you with it. can you", damiano said as he covered your cold, tender hands with his big, soft ones. "y/n y/l/n, amore della mia vita, the love of my life, accept my apology about everything i said and did?"
you couldn't stop the blushing, your whole chest warmed up at his words, clinging to his hands.
"yes, i absolutely can. i'm sorry i yelled at you, it was just a shitty day, and my family… well, that's another story."
damiano leaned closer to you, touching your jaw, tucked a cold strand of hair behind your ear, spreading comfort towards your cheeks and eyebrows.
"even with soaked clothes, pale skin and damp hair, you're still the prettiest, angelic thing i've seen in my life, mia dolce bambina."
you didn't need anything to reach up to his lips, yearning to get as much as from his warmth as possible –damiano strokes the back of your head and neck, played with the moist locks.
after the little kissing session, damiano stroked your hand, taking off your coat, giving you his instead.
"let's go home, okay?"
"okay. i love you, damiano."
"i love you more than you could ever think, little angel."
as the two of you reached home, damiano huffed.
"you know, i'm a little bit disappointed in your mother too."
you pulled up your eyebrows, the corner of your lips curling up slowly.
"really? and why?"
"we can't make out in your old bedroom, that could be quite an extra christmas event, don't you think?"
"damiano!!"
𝐚/𝐧: 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬, 𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐨-𝐦å𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞-𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐯𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲. 𝐢'𝐦 𝐠𝐥𝐚𝐝 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐩𝐮𝐦𝐩𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐬 <𝟑
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blownbybakugou · 4 years
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TW: ED/ANOREXIA hii!! sorry if this’ll come off as annoying but i’m a couple days ago i read your hcs w shigarakis ideal type and i read the iyo he likes chubbier kinda look when in appearance, iyo would he mind if i was kinda anorexic? i’m sorry i’m just struggle a lot w body image lol
It’s okay! I had anorexia for a few years when I was a teenager haha. You should know your body is beautiful as it is, there is nothing wrong with you! 
I got a lot of similar requests for this kind of thing, so here is some other guys :D.
Warnings: Eating disorder, Anorexia, kinda force feeding.
Word Count: 1k
Pairings: Shigaraki x gn!reader, Bakugou x gn!reader, Deku x gn!reader, Tokoyami x gn!reader, Kirishima x gn!reader
Shigaraki
Shiggy sometimes forgets to eat too,
So it takes him awhile to notice your lack of food consumption.
It’s when he has a real dinner with you for the first time he gets suspicious.
He’ll see you picking at your food,
And after he ate,
He noticed none of that food actually made it to your mouth. 
“Did you not like the food?” He asks, looking into your eyes. Your body was relaxed, but behind your eyes he could sense panic. “N-No, it was fine, I just wasn’t that hungry.” Tomura thinks back to this morning. He was playing video games, but he would still remember if you had had breakfast or not. “You didn’t eat breakfast, either. What’s going on?” He questions, stopping you from walking any further. “Nothing! I-I’m fine!” You chuckle, but he could see right through you, your lies hanging in the air for him to notice. “Don’t lie. Have you not been eating?” He says, looking at you with disbelief. You look at the ground in shame, tears dripping onto the concrete beneath you. “I’m...sorry..” You sob, gripping your arms so tight that your nails pierce through your skin. “We’re going back in. Let me just put my hood back up.” He grumbles, grabbing your sore arm lightly and pulling you into his light grey hoodie. “We’ll start small, okay?” 
Bakugou
Mf notices right away. 
The way you always dodge his invites out to eat,
Poking at your stomach with sad eyes when you think he isn’t looking
But he isn’t that quick to confront you about it
He waits for more evidence, and then strikes.
“Hey, dumbass. Here” Katsuki shoves a large chocolate chip cookie into your chest, the saran wrap squeaking in protest. “Uh, no thanks Katsu. I’m not very hungry.” You lie, extending the treat back to him. “No. Eat the damn cookie. You’re hungry, whether you acknowledge that or not.” he says stubbornly. “I told you, I’m not hungry. I’ll eat later.” You say, shyly dusting off your clothes. “I know you won’t. You haven’t eaten in 4 days. Eat the fucking cookie, or I’ll make you.” Bakugou grunts, swiping the pastry out of you hand and unwrapping it, before pressing it against your lips harshly. You exhale, slowly opening your mouth to take a small bite of the delicious baked good. “More. Finish it.” He says, pushing the cookie further into your mouth. You slowly but surely finish off the cookie, feeling bloated and fat. “There. You’re still as fucking perfect as you were before or whatever.” 
Deku
Observant little shit.
He notices the moment you go to sit down at lunch,
With no food. 
He offers some of his, 
But when you refuse he gets HELLA sus.
No one would ever refuse his Mum’s superb cooking,
So either you’re allergic to something, or you aren’t eating.
“Y/n, u-um. I think you should have some of my pork.” Deku sates, picking up a piece of the meat and presenting it to you. “No thanks, Izu-Kun.” You dismiss, turning away from the mouth-watering sight. “Please eat it. I really think you should.” He urges, his emerald eyes full of determination. “But-” Taking advantage of your open mouth, he quickly sticks the slice of pork onto your tongue and watches as you close your lips and swallow in surprise. “I have some more, my mom accidently packed for two today. You should have some” He insists, already starting to divide his food. “I, um. I’m full.” You try to stop him, but he only shoves a container of noodles your way. “Please accept my offerings, Y/n. I-It would make me happy.” Sighing, you open the lid of the container and start to take small nibbles on a noodle. “Thank you, Y/n”
Tokoyami
Another observer.
He notices when all your friends go to eat lunch together,
And you refuse.
He decides to test something out, so he goes and asks you to dinner.
When you say no,
It’s a giveaway for him.
“So, y/n. How long have you been anorexic?” He asks out of the blue. You jump in your seat, avoiding his sharp gaze. “I, um, I don’t k-know what you’re talking about?” You smile nervously, your façade melting away. “You haven’t been eating, mind telling me why?” Fumikage deadpans. Sighing, you give up. “I-I just, don’t really like the way my body looks. Not eating is an easy way to lose weight, so...”  He glares at you, blood boiling at the though of you thinking of yourself of anything but perfect. “Your body is beautiful as is. We’re going out to eat, my treat.” He summons dark shadow, using him to stop you from running away. He pulls on your hand, intertwining your fingers, and leading you to a near-by noodle shop.
Kirishima
BITCH EXCUSE YOU???
HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO HIM???
Thinks it’s his fault,
Because he’s always working out and shit.
So, he assumes that you stopped eating because of him.
“Y/n...I’m so sorry I made you feel insecure about your body!” His eyes are clearly watery, and the sight of it makes you feel guilty. “What? No! Kiri, it isn’t your fault, I’m just...not skinny.” You sigh, pulling him into your house. “But, you’re so beautiful and awesome and manly! You shouldn’t have to feel like this.” He pouts, pulling you into a insanely tight hug. “I love you, and you are perfect, and I don’t want you to feel bad because I work out all the time. I’ll stop if you need me to, but please eat something!” You exhale with a smile. “You can workout all you want. And I guess it wouldn’t hurt to eat a litt-”  “Come on! We’re going to the nearest fast food place and stuffing our faces!” He yells, determination lacing his voice as he yanks you back out the door and down the road. 
Part 2? (Kinda wanna write this for the Haikyuu!! boys  👀)
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petersnya · 3 years
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seventeen :: p. parker ::
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summary :: “we’re only seventeen,” he breathed through the grin spread across his face. Cheeks red with blush while his pink lips were chapped from the cold of the snow that fell around him as he stood outside your window. || when your eyes met those honey brown ones, you felt something, but weren’t sure if he felt it too. He felt it. 10X harder.
paring :: peter parker x asgard!fem!reader
warnings :: heavy fluff tehe, teen romance// strangers>>lovers, cursing, slight smut (HEAVY make out and maybeee grinding ;) )
word count :: 2.6k (2,646)
[a/n] :: this is just a really cute idea I had and it just flew out of me. I’m IN LOVE with this and I hope u guys. Kk I think that all <3. click here to make a request!! click here to join the tag list!!
“Have you ever noticed how dull the world is?”
Your eyes were fixed on the window of the car beside you. You watched as the snow Incase the cars around you. Not being able to tare your eyes from the window, you talked to your sister, Valkyrie, with your back turned.
“It’s 'cause you’ve lived in a world of sunshine and rainbows,” Valkyrie said in a sarcastic tone and she glanced at you through the side of her eye. The two of you were in the back of a taxi, going to a location Thor Odinson had given you. After the prophetic was for filled and Asgard had been erupted into flames by Satur, the people of Asgard followed their new leader to earth. You were clueless as to where everyone went once they had adapted to life on earth while you stayed cooped up in an apartment, not having access to the outside world— until today.
Valkyrie had gotten a call from Thor saying that he needed them to come to the address he had told her.
You watched the city of Brooklyn, New York pass by flash by with all of the colorful lights and neon sign. People yelling on the side of the road with others crossing roads- horns being hooked as everyone rushed everywhere. It was chaotic, but you loved it. It was different.
“Can you stop staring and listen for once,” you turned your body around fully to face Valkyrie as you rolled your eyes. She looked at you with a blank expression before continuing.
“Remember, this isn’t Asgard. What seem normal to you is strange to mid gardens.”
“Okay okay, I get it. Is that all?”
“Whatever- just don’t embarrass yourself. Alright sis?” She held out her fist signaling for you to bump it with yours. A small smile spread across your face when you bumped fist.
“Where here,” the two of you turned forward to look at the taxi driver who looked back through the mirror. You shrugged and opened the door to leave the car.
“Hey! Missy! Where’s my money? I don’t do this shit for fun now,” he said with a raspy voice. You looked at your sister and she shrugged with a smile. You nodded as you both ran out of the car, slamming the doors.
Running side by side, you looked over your shoulder as you flipped off the driver as he honked and drove away— Valkyries laughing sounding in the air but came to sudden stop. As soon as you turned, you face came into contact with a large mans chest in your face. You slammed into him, causing you to fall back. The brown eyed girl next to you crouched over as she laugh and point at your face.
“Ahaha!- you should have seen your face dumbass!”
“Shut up,” you groaned as you sat up, a hand being held out to you. Looking up you saw that it was Thor with a big grin on face. You grabbed his hand, pulling yourself up along with his help.
“The hell is wrong with you,” you grumbled as you wiped the snow off of your clothing.
Thor chuckled as you slung his arms around the both of your shoulders, walking into the building in front of you.
“Lady [y/n], Valkyrie, welcome to the Avengers tower.”
“Stark!” Thor’s voice boomed through tower; his thick accent being herd loud and clear. You walked behind him and your sister, your figure being hidden behind them. Your arms crossed over your chest as you scanned the place over. It was nice and had lots of cool technology. You saw an averaged height, middle aged man with facial hair approaching. He had a glass of whiskey in one hand and the other tucked away in his pocket.
“Ah yes, Stark— and man of spiders— these are the girls i wanted you to meet!”
Man of spiders? You hadn’t seen anyone else walk in but you did hear A second set of footsteps.
“This is Valkyrie,” Thor said as he placed both hands on my sisters shoulder. She sent Stark a small nod and smirk. He returned it with a wave and a small ‘pleasure’.
“Annndd…where [y/n]?”
You pushed past Thor, arms still across your chest as you stood next to your older sister.
“Oh- well this is [y/n], Valkyries younger sister,” doing the same smile and nod as your sister, you gaze landed on the boy next to Stark. His eyes were already locked on you.
The boy looked around your age, seventeen in human years. His eyes were golden, honey shade of brown that matched perfectly with the mess of chocolate curls that sat on his head. His cheeks were flushed with pink as he swallowed the lump in his throat. The clothes he wore were nothing like the boys in Asgard. You had to admit, you loved how it looking on him. You couldn’t help but notice the way his eyes stared deeply into yours, keeping you prisoner.
You loosened your arms that were formally crossed on your chest and started to play with your finger nails, not knowing what else to do. A feeling boiled inside you that you had never felt before. It was warm, and fuzzy. It sound so cliché but it was all so true.
“Ah- well it is very very nice to meet the two of you. This is the newest avenger, Peter. Peter Parker. Who is also known as Spider-Man.” Peter didn’t say anything as he continued to stare at you, but you have averted you gaze to something else.
“Tony, I think he’s frozen,” Thor said to the man next to Peter. You snorted a laugh, hand coming to cover you mouth. Tony snapped his fingers in front of the zoned out boys face.
“Uh- oh hi! I-I’m Peter Parker.. which you knew already…sorry,” he said with a nervous smile as he looked down to avoid your direct gaze.
“Ooookay, Thor will you take them to their rooms? I’m a bit busy,” Tony said as he point with his thumb to the room behind him as he walked into it. Thor nodded with his usual smile. He clapped his hands while turned towards you and Valkyrie.
“Let go shall we?”
“I can take [y/n] to her room! I-if it’s okay… is it [y/n]?” Peter called out, his eyes landing back on you. A smirk slipped onto your lips as you walked towards him and grabbed his hand. His breath hitched at the warm contact. You tried to contain your confidence as you looked at him.
“Lead the way,” you leaned into his face, “man of spiders,” you said with a giggle. Peter’s face became red.
“I love your accent,” he gushed causing you to smile widely, looking at him through your mascara coated lashes.
Peter began to walk you turn your room, you trailing behind, hand in hand. Looking over your shoulder, you winked at your sister. She laughed as she winked back. Thor looked down at her with an arched brow as you and Peter disappeared down the hall.
“What? Don’t cock block my sister!”
Approaching a gray door with a sliver handle, Peter opened it and led the two of you inside. Looking around, you were impressed by how nice it looked. It was absolutely amazing compared to the apartment you had been in. The best part to you was that you had a corner that you could sit in with a window. You already planned on watching earth through that window.
Peter started at you as you looked around the room with a smile.
“This is amazing. Thank you for showing me my room, Peter Parker.”
He almost groaned at the sound of you Asgarden accent saying his name.
“Any time,” he breathed. Looking down you saw that your hands where still in each other’s. You smiled and glanced up at him as he looked down and saw it too.
“Mrs. Stark has a message. Lights out kiddos.”
“What the fuck was that?” Your hand ripped out of Peter’s as you looked around for you could have said that. Peter laughed and explained that it was mr. Stark’s personal virtual assistant, Friday. You sighed and laughed in slight relief.
“Uh well I’ll see you tomorrow [y/n]. Goodnight,” Peter said as he walked over to the door, as smile on his face, lighting up his already rosy cheeks. You smiled back at him with a wiggle of your fingers, “night Parker,” you said as he closed the door.
Turning around you saw that there was a whole wardrobe for you. You started to strip, tacking off the sweatshirt Thor had given you to reveal your bare chest.
The door cracked open and Peter poked his head in.
“Let me know if you need—“ he paused as he saw your bare back facing him. Your looked over your shoulder with a smile.
“Thanks, but I’m good,” you slipped a shirt you found on over your head, now looking for shorts. Peter quickly closed the door.
The curly haired boy rested his back on the door as he let out a breath he had been holding in. His mind replayed the image of you body in his head on repeat. His breathing was un even as he closed his eyes, feeling the sweats he was wearing suddenly become uncomfortable. Running his hands through his thick curls he made his way back to his room.
You were finished changing, now sitting in the corner you had spotted earlier. Your chin rested on your forearms that were leaning on the windowsill. You watched the scenery out side. Fantasizing you and Peter, running and playing in the white, fluffy snow that covered the ground. You couldn’t help but think that you were a fool. How had you fallen so fast for a boy you just met one hour ago? But you could care less. You had never felt this way before, and you intend to make it last. Peter Parker was tattooed into your brain.
And tattoos never go away.
“What up,” Peter slid into the chair next to the one you sat in. It was the evening by now. You had spent the whole day exploring the avengers tower. Talking to some of the people you saw around. You started to really enjoy it there.
Currently you were sat in the living space, reading a book a lady you had met named Natasha has given you.
“Hey man of spiders.”
“Oh I’m never gonna get tired of you saying that with that voice of yours,” Peter admits. You blush at the complement.
“What you got planned for today?”
“Nothin’” you shrug, setting down your book, looking in to his beautiful eyes that you just couldn’t get enough of. You noticed him get flustered, making you smirk.
“Ok good. Make sure you keep it like that.”
That’s all he said as he quickly walked away, not giving you a chance to answer. You laughed to yourself and went back to your book. You weren’t able to focus on it though. Your mind kept going back to Peter and how much you wanted to kiss him all over and be with him. But you kept telling yourself to wait and that the day would come. You had no idea what he had planned but whatever it was, you were more then ready.
That night you were sitting on your bed, trying to learn how to use the phone Tony had given you that morning. You were in a pair of shorts with fluffy socks and a blue and yellow hoodie that you found on the couch in the room you were in earlier that day.
You herd a loud tapping on you window, causing your head to jolt up and look to see what it was. Walking over to the window you made out the shape that was there. It was peter, but he was holding some mask and wearing a blue and red suite. You assumed that it was his suite for the avengers, remembering that when Tony introduce you, he called him Spider-Man.
Rushing over, you popped the locks and opened the window.
“What the hell dude! You scared the shit out of me,” you whisper shouted at him, causing him to laughing.
“Look, I know I met you yesterday.. and this is the most cliché thing I will ever say. But I like you. Like really really like you. So please, give me this chance?”
You smiled at his words as your cheeks heated with the blood rushing to them. You nodded your head fast, letting out a giggle.
“Oh,” he let out a deep sigh, “good. I was scared you’d say no,” you chuckled nervously.
“Never,” you said with the same smile you had when you first met.
“Best part is, I get to spend the most of my time with you. We’re only seventeen,” he breathed through the grin spread across his face. Cheeks red with blush while his pink lips were chapped from the cold of the snow that fell around him as he stood outside your window.
“Come with me,” he held out his gloved hand,”trust me.”
You took his hand you slowly pulled you through the window.
You swung around town with your legs wrapped around his waist and you arms around his neck. Small screams leaving your lips whenever you would look down.
Peter landed onto of a very tall tower, letting you slip from his grasp. You stood and gazed at the breath taking view. City lights flashed all around you, cars honking and speeding past. The night sky dark. But the best part was the snow. Everything was covered in the thick white snow. Lifting your head you looked up into the sky at the snow that fell onto you face. Laughing escaped your lips and you spun around and ended up in Peter’s arms once agin.
“Shit! I’m sorry, I forgot you only had on shorts- and my hoodie,” the last part came out in a whisper.
You let a soft smile form, “I’m for Asgard. I can handle a little cold.”
“God I can’t get enough of you,” Peter said as he let his gloved hand slip around you neck as his other went to the small of your back, pulling you hips in to meet his.
Your hands rested on his biceps as one came up to the back of his head. The two of you stared at each other in comfortable silence.
“I really, really wanna kiss you right now.”
“Oh please do it man of spiders,” you both laughed for a second before Peter pulled you in for your lips to meet with his.
Your lips moved in-sync, like they were meant for each other. You felt his thumb slide across your chin before his lips parted from yours. Peter put his thumb on you lower lip, pulling it down as he smiled.
He moved his mother closer to yours, sticking out his tongue, letting it explore every part of your mouth it could reach before letting your lip go, allowing you to kiss back. You moaned into his mouth as you raised your leg to wrap around his waist. He grabbed the back of your thigh and raised it, squeezing it gently. Your lips trails off of his and to his ear as you started you grind you core onto his cock hard.
“Oh fuck,” you moaned into his ear, causing him to groan. His hands traveled to your ass, snaking and groping it.
That’s how you knew he wanted what you wanted just as bad. And oh man did you love being in love, young, dumb and seventeen.
Should I make a part 2… ;) lmk
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willowbird · 3 years
Note
Hey! For the au + trope + prompt thing, could you do 1 for au, 9 for trope and 27 for prompt with pynch?
(P.S: I just remembered you have already done one with pynch, so you can do this one with another ship of your choosing if this one feels repetitive!)
Roommates AU, strangers to lovers, “that was a very bad idea. 0/10 would not recommend.” ~ for pynch!
I am more than happy to write 10,000 roommate aus for these idiots <3
---
It all started with an only mildly suspicious ad on craigslist:
Roommate needed $275/mo - utilities included must be ok with corvids good w/cars a plus - rent discount if u can prove it
Adam wasn't an idiot. He knew something that was too good to be true when he saw it. He also knew that answering a craigslist ad for a roommate was a good way to get stabbed, robbed, and God only knew what else.
And yet...
Sometimes, when your options were limited it really was better to take every possible avenue to get away from the devil you know - even if that means sharing a small apartment with the devil you don't.
Well, the devil and his pet raven. And really, Chainsaw was by far the more agreeable of the two.
That being said, it wasn't like Ronan was awful. He was an asshole, and he was downright grumpy bastard anytime before 11am. He listened to terrible music, if that trash could ever be considered such. Chainsaw was a sweetheart, though, always bringing Adam new shinies for his approval and sitting with him while he worked on a paper or research or any number of other assignments for his degree.
(Taking the risk that he had by jumping at that craigslist ad meant that he was able to cut back on his hours a little bit at work, go to school full time, and start amassing a savings account.)
And, okay, Ronan probably had some merits too. He could cook, for one thing. Not to say that Adam couldn't cook. He could - he just didn't like to. If it were up to him, he'd probably subsist on saltines and hard-boiled eggs. In fact, he had done exactly that for the first two weeks living with Ronan until the other man had dropped a full plate of breakfast in front of him, stole his crackers, and pointed at him. "Eat like a fucking grown-up," he'd said -and... well, that was that. Sure, Adam had tried to protest, but Ronan had just... started making food for the both of them and maybe if it was shitty food or even mediocre in quality Adam would have been able to ignore it - but it killed something inside Adam to waste food. Especially good food. And Ronan's food was fucking amazing.
So, there was that.
He also wasn't an absolute terror to be around. Having a conversation with Ronan Lynch was a choose-your-own-adventure novel written by very high geniuses. You really never knew what you were going to get and each alternate path was bound to be either completely bat-shit crazy or a humbling level of profound. Not only that, but Ronan didn't pull that alpha-male bullshit so many other men did where they refused to admit they didn't know something. No, when Adam proved that he knew what he was talking about when it came to cars, Ronan just said "teach me?" with such open intensity that Adam couldn't really tell him 'no', alright?
And then there were days like today, where Adam got home from an early shift at the garage to find Ronan sitting halfway out of their third-floor apartment, securing a thick rope to a hook above the window that definitely hadn't been there when Adam left that morning.
"Are you about to do something stupid again?" Adam called up to him as he got out of his car. Upon hearing his voice, Chainsaw (who had been circling anxiously above) crowed out a warbled imitation of speech that sounded a lot like 'Atom' and coasted down to him.
"Me? Stupid? Nah, this is gonna be fucking amazing," Ronan called back without looking away from his work.
Chainsaw landed on Adam's shoulder and clapped her beak affectionately near his ear. Adam dutifully lifted a hand to stroke at the soft feathers of her neck. If he also whispered 'hello beautiful girl, is your papa making trouble for you again?' it was between him and the bird and Ronan would never need to know.
Chainsaw crooned a tense 'kreh!' that Adam took as an affirmative.
"What exactly are you doing, Ronan Lynch?" Adam called up as he took another look at the setup, walking closer to the building. The rope that Ronan had just finished tying to the hook was already secured to a tree on the edge of the parking lot, the one that stood awkwardly out from the rest of the tree line. Their apartment complex was situated right on the edge of a forest preserve. A lot of Ronan's hair-brained ideas usually came back to the forest in one way or another.
"This is just a test run. If I can get it to work right, I'm going to set a line straight into the forest."
"Mm, yes, because... leaving civilization through a door is beneath you?"
Ronan paused, then grinned down at him, the expression somehow both boyish and savage in a way that always made Adam's heart jump for some reason. "Actually, yeah. Literally."
Adam rolled his eyes but didn't bother to fight the smile. "Punk."
"I resent that. I reject all labels, Parrish - you know that."
"Uh-huh. Sure. Well if you-- Ronan what are you doing?"
Ronan had produced what looked like a fucking tie (was that the one Ronan's brother Declan had been wearing when he came by for dinner a couple weeks back?) and had wrapped one end around his hand. As Adam watched, he flicked the loose end of the tie over the taut rope and then wrapped it around his other hand.
"Told you it was a test run, Parrish. That mean's I've actually got to test it."
"Ronan I don't think--"
But it was too late. Ronan had already jumped out of the fucking third-floor window like he was expecting to fly. For a second or two, he sort of did. The rope bowed but supported him and the smooth tie provided little friction as Ronan began to zoom down at a steep angle. Then the rope shuddered and went completely slack, the hook having torn free from the side of the building where it clearly had not been properly anchored. Ronan plummeted like a stone in a still pond.
"Ronan!" Adam did not make the active decision to move, but he was suddenly sprinting to where the jumbled heap of Ronan Lynch had landed on the rough pavement. Chainsaw had already launched ahead and was hopping around near Ronan's head, squawking out anxious reprimands of 'Kerah! Kerah!'
Adam skidded to his knees beside Ronan just as the other man was shakily trying to sit up. "What the FUCK Ronan Lynch!? What were you thinking!? You can't just jump out of a God-forsaken third-floor window like that. Do you want to be killed?" Adam didn't even care that the rural-Virginian flavor of his youth had coated his words in a thick batter, he was so mad.
Ronan blinked at him and there was a strange mix of confusion and pain and... something else on his face. "Scared, Parrish?" The words did not come out as teasing as they normally would.
"Scared? Scared? Of course I was scared. You... you fucking idiot!" Adam had to give himself a moment. He raked his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath, then another. He closed his eyes and tried to center himself. Fear and anger would get him nowhere, even if the fear had already set its nasty little hooks into each and every one of his nerve endings and the anger felt like the only way to burn them away.
A hand touched his shoulder, then his cheek. Adam opened his eyes and Ronan was wearing another indecipherable expression, his dark eyes hooded, his mouth pursed.
"Come on," Adam said as he leaned back so he could stand up. "Can you stand?" Chainsaw continued to hop around, but she'd stopped her distressed shouting, perhaps sensing that Adam was taking control and feeling more comfortable knowing that he would set things to rights, whatever that might mean.
Ronan was quiet for a moment, then seemed to shake himself out of his thoughts before giving a derisive snort. "It was just a little fall, Parrish, I'm --fuck!" Ronan had just tried to stand up, but his knee buckled out from under him as soon as he put his weight on it. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, alright. Alright. Shit. Fuck. That was a very bad idea. 0/10 would not recommend."
"The standing or the stupid fucking stunt you pulled jumping out of a goddamn window?" Adam asked. He attempted to make it as dry as possible, trying to get them back to some kind of equilibrium, but his heart was still racing a bit too fast and he could hear the angry bite in his own words.
Still didn't stop him from instantly stepping forward and catching Ronan, though. He wound an arm around Ronan's waist, guiding Ronan's arm over his shoulders so he could support him.
"The standing, of course. Shit! Ah... fuck. My idea for the apartment-forest zipline is fucking genius thank you."
Adam helped Ronan hobble forward, taking them back toward his car instead of the building. "Yeah. Right. Whatever you say, Lynch."
"Where are we going?"
"To the hospital, dumbass," Adam said with a roll of his eyes, all but shoving Ronan into the passenger seat. He held the door open for Chainsaw to be able to swoop in and land on the idiot's lap. The least Ronan could do was soothe her for the drive.
"You don't have--"
Adam cut him off with a glare. "We. Are. Going. To. The. Hospital. Am I being perfectly clear?"
"...yes." Ronan glared back, but then sank down in his seat, expression mulish.
Adam fixed him with a hard stare that lasted another few heartbeats, then gave a nod and snapped the door shut.
So yes, Ronan Lynch wasn't all that bad. Sometimes the devil you don't really is the better choice. Because sometimes that devil has a cute bird and makes good food and has great conversation. If he also scares the shit out of you on the regular and makes your heart race inexplicably, well, that's not so bad a deal. Right?
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passable-talent · 4 years
Note
hey roe! i love ur work! could i request a zuko x reader where the reader and the zuko have history and they meet at the boiling rock because the reader was imprisoned (either during the invasion or at the catacombs or whatever you think works) and there's a lot of angst and it ends with a kiss or something? tysm!!!
tysm!!!! It means a lot
but u gotta think bigger anon,,, boiling rock was full of firebenders... how abt a childhood friend who defected long, long ago, and zuko could’ve never known? hmm....
in watching the boiling rock for this ask I realize that the bois get into guard uniforms and hide their clothes on the beach. so like,,, did these two dumbasses just strip on the beach and b like “hey yeah bro this is cool”. they think nothing through. HOW DID THEY EVEN GET THE GUARD UNIFORMS IN THE FIRST PLACE-
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Sitting in a Boiling Rock cell wasn’t exactly one of Zuko’s top ten moments, but it sure wasn’t one of his lowest, either. He’d been tossed into a singular cell that as of yet didn’t even have a bed, the door shut in his face.
There came three quick knocks on the metal wall beside him, and he walked closer to it, curious.
“I heard you got thrown in for impersonating a guard,” came a voice on the other side, and Zuko regarded it with a healthy amount of susipicion.
“Yeah.”
“Nice,” said the voice, a little laugh following their words.
“What did you do?” asked Zuko, surprised that the voice sounded young, almost as young as himself, if he had to guess.
“Oh, I defected a long time ago. They weren’t too happy with my methods.” Zuko didn’t answer for a moment, and the person in the cell beside him took that as an opportunity to continue asking questions. “Seems like the warden wanted to punish you especially, putting you down here with this lot. Any idea why?”
“I dated his niece,” Zuko answered, his tone definitive, almost as though this information was obvious. There came a pause from the voice, and Zuko wondered what about this information was shocking. It wouldn’t be common knowledge who the warden’s niece is, would it? He thought that that would be safe information to reveal, without revealing his identity.
“Hey, how old are you?” The prisoner asked, breaking their silence. Zuko briefly considered, but decided not to lie.
“Uh, sixteen, why?”
“Zuko?” Zuko froze, and fixed his stare to the wall as though he could see through it if he glared hard enough.
“How do you know that?”
“It’s Y/N,” the voice said, and finally Zuko realized why the voice had seemed so young.
Y/N had been his friend, from academy, back before Zuko had turned twelve. Y/N was one year above him, but was a prodigy, studying under High General Bujing as young as ten years old. They were a dedicated student and a master of strategy as early as twelve- but disappeared at thirteen, never to be heard from again.
At least, by the young prince, whose father decided that telling the prince that his closest friend had attempted assassination on one of the high generals would fill the already ‘weak’ prince’s mind with ‘insubordinate ideals’.
And yet here they were.
“Y/N?” Zuko breathed, lifting his hand and pressing it to the metal, astonished. He had assumed that you were dead. “How are you here?”
“How am I here? I’m a criminal and a traitor, that’s obvious, how are you here?”
“Apparently I’m also a criminal and a traitor,” Zuko answered, and you laughed.
The assignment for the day was mopping, down in one of the lower rooms of the prison. You knew where to go, and yet the moment those doors opened you rounded the walls and hugged Zuko tightly.
“I never thought I’d see you again,” you whispered, and when you pulled away you noticed his scar. Gingerly you reached your hand upward, lightly laying your fingers against the skin, then resting the palm of your hand onto his face to fully cup his jaw.
“I knew that you’d been banished, but...” you trailed off, and slipped your hand around to the back of his neck to pull him into a tight hug.
“I wish I could’ve been there to save you,” you whispered, holding onto him. His arms wrapped around you in return, for just a moment, until a few guards shouted at the two of you to move along. Still, he walked beside you.
“What do you mean?” He asked, and you looked sideways at him.
“I knew your father was horrible, I knew the nation was horrible, that’s why I left it. But to do that to you, I...” you trailed off, and shrugged. “I guess I tell myself I should’ve brought you with me when I left.” His response was minimal, but you noticed it, the way he seemed intrigued by the thought, and slightly saddened that it hadn’t happened.
You had known of Suki, but you hadn’t formally met her until now. She was kind, and understood why another teenager was roped into the daring escape.
Sokka, on the other hand, wasn’t so pleased.
“Sokka, come on. Y/N has a better understanding of Fire Nation military strategy than anyone, even me.” Suki raised an eyebrow in your direction, to which you responded with a shrug. “We need them on our team.”
“The more we try to break out, the easier we’ll be caught. We can’t risk it.” You weren’t going to argue in your favor- in fact, the opposite.
“I’ve been in here for four years. I’m used to it, I’ll be fine,” you assured Zuko, but he shook his head. He grabbed Sokka by the shoulder and pulled him away, but underestimated your ability to eavesdrop.
“Look, we didn’t come here planning to break out Suki, but we are. Y/N is the same, for me, as Suki is to you. Okay?” Your eyes widened as you glanced to Suki, but she hadn’t caught it, and didn’t understand your surprise.
“Okay, fine,” Sokka said, breaking from Zuko’s grasp. He took a moment to ensure no one was around to listen. “I think I’ve got an escape plan.”
You’d stuck by Zuko when you were young, and you’d stick by him now, as traitors to your nation. Even if it meant giving up your only escape plan. He was loyal to Sokka, and you would be too, so you stayed behind, and bided your time, waiting for your next opportunity. Even if it meant listening to Mai scold Zuko through the walls. Sokka came to you with a new plan, though you had a sneaking suspicion you were the last of the group that he told, and when it came time to fight Azula on the gondola, you were one of the first to climb to the roof.
“Ah, Y/N, an old familiar face,” the princess said as she landed, taking in the sight of you and Zuko, side by side. “How quaint. An old traitor, and a new traitor. I’m ever so curious, Y/N, how you can claim to have any morality at all, betraying your nation twice now. Wasn’t it your own mentor you tried to kill?” You reacted in rage, and shot the first plume of fire.
The ride to the western air temple was a long one, filled as it was with jubilation, victory, and reunions. Zuko spent much of it trying to decide how to ask you in more detail about your past. You hadn’t said much to him about it, and he’d never been told, but Azula seemed to know well what had happened.
He didn’t want to push, but he wanted to know.
“Your mentor was General Bujing, right?” He asked, sitting beside you in the metal airship.
“Yeah,” you answered, your tone noncommittal.
“He was the general I stood up to. When I got banished.” Your gaze went to the young prince, and you realized just how little you knew about his past, since you left the fire nation. You also realized his tactic- to get you to share, he would share. You decided to cut him a break, and do it yourself.
You started with what he already knew.
“I lost my parents to the war when I was six. So I was sent to the academy, where they recognized my talent and rewarded me with apprenticeships and a home. Still, General Bujing was the closest I had to a parent.” You paused, and looked toward the front of the ship, where you could see clouds.
“But as I got older, and he put more questionable battle strategies on my exams, I began to see him not as a parent but as a person. And what I saw was, I assume, what you saw. Someone ruthless and angry, who didn’t believe in human life, or didn’t value it.” Zuko didn’t stop you, or interrupt. He merely listened.
“I was scared. And so I did reading, on what the Fire Nation was before Sozin, and what I saw was so much better than what I was raised in. I knew i couldn’t change much, but what I could do was get rid of an old General who would do the worst sort of things.” You looked down at your hands.
“It didn’t work. I was thirteen, of course it didn’t. But instead of killing me, he...” you trailed off, and turned your gaze away from Zuko.
“I was going to kill him, because I thought there wasn’t any good in him. And then he let me go. He spared me.” Zuko’s eyes widened, as what he knew of General Bujing, the man who would sacrifice a brigade of soldiers, did not seem to line up with what you were describing.
“I was arrested anyway, of course, but I thought for sure he’d kill me. He didn’t even challenge me to an Agni Kai. I still don’t...” you trailed off, and let your head thump back against the metal wall. “I still don’t understand.”
“People are complicated,” Zuko struggled out, seemingly trying to conjure some good-ol’-uncle-Iroh advice.
“Yeah,” you said with a breathless chuckle, and scooted a bit closer to him. “It’s good to see you again,” you said, leaning your shoulder against his. It was an odd situation to be in, because you’d last seen him when you were thirteen, and he twelve. But you knew, from what you overheard, that he felt something more for you. Something akin to Sokka and Suki, who you had noticed were clearly an explicitly romantic couple. Because of it you felt it appropriate to notice how much he’d... grown. He was older, now, and his hair was nice, and his cheekbones high, his jawline defined, not to mention an obviously master firebender. You envied that talent, as the only bending you had was leftover from your training, that ended at thirteen.
“It’s good to see you too,” he said, which you barely heard over your thoughts. You didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, as obviously Mai was a very fresh wound, but you knew his feelings were there, and wanted in subtle ways to make him realize that his choices were accepted, welcomed, to you.
You wondered if he was having similar thoughts, noticing how you’d changed since he last saw you.
The moon was high by the time the airship docked at the western air temple. You’d fallen asleep on the metal floor (you’ve slept in worse places), and Zuko decided to wake you up so that you could move to one of the bedrooms up high in the temple.
He crouched beside you, and nudged your shoulder. When that didn’t rouse you, he sat down, deciding to take a moment to study your sleeping face. He brushed back some of your hair from your face, silent in his appreciation.
He’d wake you up. In a minute.
For now, he wanted to lean down, and kiss your forehead.
When he pulled away, he noticed your eyes were open. A smile spread to your lips, and you pushed back your tiredness to respond to the moment in front of you.
“Want to try again, now that I’m awake?”
-🦌 Roe
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Text
FOOLS pt.5: finale
[[Zuko x reader]]
<- previous
Summary: Zuko and Y/N had liked eachother for a while even though neither of them knew it. Y/N tries to get over her crush for him, failing miserably. So just when she decides to let go and embrace her feelings, the new Fire lord finds himself feeling jealous and decides to take matters into his own hands.
A/N: This took so incredibly long to write I am SO sorry, but I think it ended up pretty good. You’re finally getting some fluff in the middle of all this angst, and seeing as this is the finale I wanted to thank everybody for your support with this series. Everyone who has been sending asks, replying to the other parts, liking and rebloging, thank you so much, it really does mean the world to me. Also thanks to my favorite reader ever @eternally-infinitely love u lots <3
Ps: now that I’m done with this i have no idea what else to write so please send your requests, I might have a promt list up soon.
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-IF YOU HAVE ANY REQUESTS DONE HESITATE TO ASK-
Zuko saw you hug the water tribe guy once again and walk away quickly. He thought that after an entire night of seeing you two together laughing along with his friends, you being picked up and hugged by him and overall just being happy, the burning sensation in his chest would lessen, but he was wrong. If anything everytime he saw you around him it seemed to make the flame that resided inside of him grow bigger and angrier.
He was standing at the main entrance of the palace, saying goodbye to all the guests that made their way to their homes. There were only a few people left when the water tribe guy approached him. He had gotten so much better at controlling his anger, but he was not too far away from letting his old self back out.
“Hey, you’re Zuko, right?” He said while extending his hand towards Zuko.
He took it into his own had and shook it politely. “I am... and you are?” His voice gave him away, even to him it sounded dark and calculated.
“Doko, very nice to meet you. Your friends told me a lot about you, it’s a shame we didn’t get to talk much tonight.” His own correctness and warmth made Zuko’s blood boil, of course he was perfectly controlled and civilized, and of course Y/N wanted Doko over him.
“Yes, a shame. I trust that Y/N kept you busy the entire night, she tends to be a great host.”
“She did, it was truly great seeing her after such a long time. Reconnecting with old friends is always a treat.”
Doko’s words confused Zuko, he tried to stop himself but his mouth acted faster than his head. “Friends? Aren’t you two...dating?” He asked, regretting it seconds after.
Doko’s face contorted in shock. “Dating? What gave you that idea? No, no. She and I saw eachother for the first time in many years the other day at the market. If I’m not wrong you were around too, right?” Zuko nodded lightly letting Doko’s words sink in. “Well, she and I know eachother from the Northern Water tribe, we both grew up there, but I had to move away with my family and we didn’t really stay in touch since.”
The weight of Zuko’s actions started to fall onto him. He’d messed everything up, all the things that were going on with Y/N in that moment were his fault, his damn fault for not knowing how to control his stupid emotions.
Doko must have seen the worried look on Zuko’s face because he adopted a more cautious tone when he said “Tell me if I’m completely wrong or overstepping a line here, but I really think the two of you should talk. I don’t know what’s going on between you, Y/N hasn’t said anything to me, but I know her, and whatever is going on, I’m sure it’s a big misunderstanding. She has a really hard time expressing her emotions, so if you’re waiting for her to talk to you first, it’s probably not going to happen.”
Zuko finally let go of his formal, tough facade and looked down. “Was I that obvious?”
“I see the way you look at her, and she looks at you the exact same way, believe me. It’s like both of you want to say a world of things to eachother but can’t seem to get them out. Talk to her... I’m sure that’ll smooth things out.” Doko placed a hand on Zuko’s shoulder before walking away.
He didn’t understand how Doko knew so many things, maybe his friends had filled him in while the two of you were talking in his office, or maybe he really just knew you that well. Regardless of the reasoning behind it, Zuko knew Doko was right, he needed to talk to you, say he was sorry and explain everything, no matter how hard it was.
So, he waited around until every last guest had left the palace, then until his uncle and friends all said their goodbyes, and lastly until Mai was the only other person there.
“So, you realized already this was a terrible idea and I was right all along?” She said waking up to him, causing the sound her high shoes to echo in the empty halls.
“You can tell me how stupid I am and how you told me so later, Mai. Right now I need to figure out how to fix this mess” Zuko said crossing his arms.
“I will, I’ll torture you about it until the day you two get married and maybe even after that, but you’re right, what did that guy tell you?” Mai asked in her usual emotionless voice.
“He told me they aren’t dating, that they’re just old friends and he hadn’t seen her in a long time before two days ago.” Zuko made a pause before looking up at her. “Get that smirk off your face, Mai, this is serious, I fucked up really bad.”
“Sorry, I just can’t believe how right I am sometimes.” She was about to make another joke when she noticed how worried Zuko actually was. “Ok fine, listen here dumbass, you made a mistake, a really big one, and you ended up hurting her a lot. She’s going to need time to forgive you, don’t expect her to just forget about it and instantly go back to how things were before this, cause it’s not gonna happen. What you’re gonna do is man up, go talk to her right now and explain how much of an idiot you are, tell her that you’re sorry and respect whatever she decides after that. If she forgives you or not that’s on her, she doesn’t have to forgive you just because you apologized.” Mai cared about very few things in this world, but Zuko was one of them. Even though they’d broken up a while ago, he still grew up with her, they shared a lot of experiences together and he understood everything that happened with Azula. She couldn’t let Zuko mess things up with you, specially because she actually thought you were good for him. Not that she would ever accept it out loud.
“I’ll do that. Thanks, Mai.”
—————————
“I don’t think there’s anything for us to talk about, Zuko” you said not moving an inch from where you were laying.
He sighed heavily before saying “Does you saying you wanna move out count as nothing?”
You didn’t reply, you knew it was a little extreme and you hadn’t really thought about it fully up until that point. You didn’t want to move out, actually you wanted the exact opposite, but when you said it you felt like you couldn’t be around Zuko a second longer and it just slipped out.
“Y/N, please. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, but just listen to me.” He used a tone you had never been able to say no to, and he knew that. Regardless of anything that could ever happen between you two, he was still your weak spot, and despite your best self preservation instincts, you turned around and sat up to face him.
Your face broke Zuko’s heart even more than it already was, you looked so hurt, so tired and heartbroken, and all of it was his fault.
“Y/N... Mai and I-”
“You don’t have to explain any of your personal life to me, Zuko. You don’t owe me explanations, you can be with and do whatever you want with whoever-”
“I’m not with Mai, Y/N” Zuko cut you off before you could finish. “That’s what I’m trying to say. She and I aren’t a thing, and we haven’t been in a very long time.”
You looked at him confused before saying “Zuko... I saw you two kissing.”
“I...I know. Y/N, it was all a dumb thing I planned to... I don’t even know what I was trying to do. The day we went to the market I saw you with Doko, your face lit up as soon as you saw him, and you two got so close... I thought you were dating, and I can’t explain how that made me feel. I’ve tried so hard all this time to be better and control my emotions, but when I saw you with him all of it came back. I wanted to make you feel the exact same way I was feeling, so I called Mai over and asked her to pretend to be with me, she told me over and over again it was a bad idea but I didn’t listen.” He looked down to his hands ashamed before continuing. “I let fear take over me. I lost my entire family, aside from my uncle you’re the only one I have, you’re the only one who cares about me enough to stick around, I was so scared of losing you too.” He reached to where you had layed your hand and covered it with his. “Y/N, I am so sorry, I’m sorry I hurt you and treated you like I did, I’m so sorry I messed things up between us.”
You took more than a few seconds to process everything that Zuko said. You didn’t know how to feel, on one hand he wasn’t dating Mai and that was a relief, but on the other he purposely did something he knew would hurt you, he went out of his way to make you feel bad and treat you poorly. You forced words out of your mouth because you knew keeping them inside wouldn’t help either one of you.
“Why didn’t you just talk to me?” You asked him softly, your voice breaking a little.
“Because I’m an idiot Y/N, I didn’t think Doko and you could be anything other than a couple and I was blinded by jealousy” Zuko was being sincere, that much you knew. His tone made him sound like a kid.
“Does that mean all this time you had feelings for me too?” You asked carefully.
Zuko moved his hands up to your face and cupped it. “Yes, Y/N, I’ve liked you so much for so long and I was too much of a coward to tell you. Everything I wrote on that stupid speech about Mai was actually about you. I wrote it thinking of you... I don’t want you to move out, I want you close to me, and I know I don’t deserve it, but please... stay with me.”
You took a few seconds before speaking again. “I need time” you said covering his hands with yours before removing them from your face.
Zuko looked hurt, his eyes were sad and you could swear there was a hint of fear in them, but he nodded at your words and tangled his fingers with yours before saying. “I understand.”
He stood up from your bed and walked to the door, giving you one last look before walking out, leaving you all alone again.
That night you rolled around in your bed for hours on end. Zuko’s confession wouldn’t leave your head, his words replayed over and over while you tried to make sense of everything. You couldn’t say you hated Zuko, but you couldn’t say you weren’t mad at him either, and the question of what to do about him and the feelings he had confessed was still pending.
—————————-
The morning of the last day your friends were going to be in the palace came around. You all decided you didn’t want to do much else than lay around and enjoy the little time you had left together, and a good spot to do this would be the palace pool, as it was big enough for everybody, and would definitely make the unforgiving heat a little more manageable.
At first, your mood was still a little heavy, specially when you found out Zuko decided to take the day off to spend with the group. It’s not like you didn’t want him to join you guys, but wounds were still fresh and you still felt like you needed time and space from him. Regarless of how you felt, you also understood he wanted to spend time with his friends, and they wanted to see him too, so you pushed your feelings down and promised yourself you wouldn’t ruin this day for anyone, not even for yourself. You could forget about the situation for a day.
So, that’s exactly what you did, you focused your attention instead on the game of water volleyball the boys were playing. You laughed hysterically when Aang hit Sokka in the face by accident and he fell over splashing onto the water dramatically (He was fine after Suki gave him a big kiss). After they were done, everybody went into the pool and started splashing eachother, even Zuko and you got into a water fight for a quick moment. It felt nice to have things be normal again, even just a little.
Around midday Zuko went off to talk to his uncle about political business before he had to leave, while you and the group stayed at the pool. Not even five minutes after Zuko left, you heard your name being called behind you.
When you turned around you saw Mai, dressed a little more casually this time. You didn’t react for a few seconds until she broke the silence once again.
“Can I talk to you for a second?” She said standing awkwardly at the sight of you and your friends.
“Yeah, sure” you said, walking towards her and guiding her back into the palace halls.
“What’s up?” You asked her, the feelings of jealously and anger that came around every time you’d seen her those past few days no where near now that you knew she and Zuko weren’t together.
“Listen, I felt like I needed to apologize. I assume Zuko already talked to you and told you everything, so you know it was his idea to begin with, but I still shouldn’t have gone along with it. I did tell him he shouldn’t do it, but you know how he is.” She said, not an ounce of emotion in her voice. You knew, though, that didn’t mean her apology was insincere, that’s just how Mai was.
“Mai... it’s fine. It’s not your fault, it’s Zuko’s for dragging you into this. You don’t need to apologize.”
“You’re still mad.” It was more a statement than a question.
“Yes, Im still mad, Mai. Wouldn’t you be? Zuko went out of his way to purposely do something he knew would hurt me. How am I supposed to feel about that?” You wished you hadn’t let out all those things to Mai seeing as you didn’t really know if you could trust her or not, but you couldn’t help it.
“Youre right, I would be. You can be mad for as long as you want to, but just know that he is trying. I’ve never seen him try to be better for anyone as much as he does for you. I’m not going to make up excuses for what he did, but you can’t expect him to react to situations like a normal person when he grew up with an absent mother, a psycho sister and a monster of a father. He’s just never had to deal with people like this before, and specially with someone he likes this much. Just... give him another chance... or don’t, it’s not my business, really.”
With those words, Mai walked away leaving you in the hall, her words lingering in your head.
——————————
The afternoon sun was already starting to set when it the time for your friends to leave came around. You hated goodbyes, specially when it came to them. With their things already in the carriage, Katara and Suki came to hug you.
“We’re gonna see eachother again soon, ok?” Katara said, her comforting skills never failing.
You hugged her and thanked the spirits she had been there for all of this. You don’t know if you would’ve been able to get through the past few days without her.
Then you hugged Suki while hearing her say “I hope you make amends with him, you make a really nice couple.” you giggled and shrugged her lightly.
“I hope so too.”
Aang and Sokka came right behind them, already having said their goodbyes to the fire lord. The water tribe boy went to you first while Aang went to Toph.
“Don’t be a stranger, ok? And keep us updated on your romantic adventures, we’re all very intrigued.” he joked while giving you a hug.
“Idiot” you said breaking up the hug. “Keep those water tribe girls away, I don’t want Suki breaking any ribs.” He laughed back and headed to the carriage.
Finally Aang came along. You loved all your friends but you had to admit he was the best hugger of the group. “Bye, Y/N. Take care of them.” He said sofltly.
“I will, you take care of them.”
“Hey... next time I see you, I want to see happy. Doing whatever you want, but happy, ok?”
Aangs words almost made you cry, he always was one to know exactly what to say. You nodded softly as saw him be the last to get in the carriage, before it got lost in the horizon. You don’t know when Toph had left, but by the time you realized you were standing alone with Zuko in front of the palace doors as they were being shut close.
Instead of saying anything for you to stay, he let you walk away freely after a few second. Both your heart and your mind were confused, and although part of you wanted to let everything go and just forgive him, you needed to heal, it wasn’t fair to either of you to just hold this grudge inside of you.
————————-
And so you did. You took all the time you needed. Days passed after your friends had left, and those became weeks eventually. You weren’t giving Zuko the silent treatment, but you were a lot more distant than you used to be. You found yourself going out with Toph a lot more, anything to not be in the palace. You took a liking to finding libraries all over town, buying hidden gems in each of them, you went on a lot more walks, ate out a lot more, but most of that time was spent alone, giving you many opportunities to ponder on your feelings.
Throughout these weeks, Zuko was impressively understanding. He seemed to have taken you needing time very seriously. The firelord didn’t avoid you exactly, but also made no efforts to be alone with you. Sometimes you thought he might break, that he’d actually come up to you and ask you how much time does ‘needing time’ take, but he never did. He always kept his composure and control, and so did you.
Slowly but surely you started to sort your feelings out. Yes, Zuko had done very hurtful things, and you were angry about it, but at the same time you realized that there were two options on the table. You either decide not to forgive him, he gets over you as people do when things don’t work out, you get over him too and the two of you grow apart. You couldn’t phantom the thought of this space between you and Zuko being permanent, even the idea of it made your heart ache. Then came the second option, for the first time since you’d met him, you give into your feelings for him, you let go of all the fears that had been restraining you and let yourself take the risk of loving Zuko. This was an uncertain option, you didn’t know what would happen if you and Zuko actually got together, but your desire to find out turned out to be greater than your fear of uncertainty. Then, right in that moment, it was clearer than ever, you loved Zuko, and wasting more time with him wasn’t something you could allow yourself to do any longer.
—————————
The night you set yourself to finally talk to him, you were informed he attended an event that would have him out of the palace until rather late. You tried to go to bed, convincing yourself maybe it was better to talk to him in the morning, but you couldn’t get yourself to sleep. After a few hours you couldn’t contain yourself anymore, you made your way out of your room and to Zuko’s, to see if he was back already. Right as you were about to get there, a tall figure brought your attention to the balcony next to Zuko’s room. He was wearing a simple robe, seeking some comfort after wearing his formal attire for so long, you thought. He didn’t seem to hear you when you approached him from behind.
“Thought you were out until late tonight.” You said, visibly startling him a little.
Seeing him turn around made it clear you were right about what you wanted to do. He looked as handsome as ever, hair down a little higher than his shoulders now, the moonlight illuminating his face in the most heavenly way. He always found a way to take your breath away like the first day, even when he wasn’t trying.
“Y/N... yeah, I wasn’t feeling like spending the entire night there.” He replied softly, clearly shocked by your presence.
“Mind if I join you?” You asked approaching him slowly.
“Not at all.” Zuko’s eyes were still on you, a different kind of glimmer making them glow.
You stayed quiet for a few seconds looking for the correct words, he didn’t push you to talk. Finally you said “Zuko... I’m tired of being so far apart from you. This weeks have helped me realize, I don’t want to be away from you. I miss us, I miss how things used to be and... I think I’m ready to forgive you.”
He stood still besides you. You didn’t dare look at him this time, you were still scared of what his response would be, but before you could get any further into your own head, he muttered softly. “I miss us too... I’m really sorry, and I know I’ve said it so many times now, but I am.” He grabbed your wrist and turned you around to face him. “I don’t want to hurt you, you mean so much to me, Y/N, and if you’re ready, I want to show you how much better I can be, I want to make it up to you, every single day. Let me be better for you.”
His piercing golden orbs met yours, and it seemed like so long ago since you had the pleasure of staring into them so up close. You smiled at him softly, covering his cheek with your hand. This was exactly what you wanted, there was no doubt about it. He was everything you’d ever wanted.
You closed the space between him and you, your lips covering his in the sweetes way they could. He didn’t return the kiss for a couple seconds but then you felt his hands go up to your neck, holding you tight while he deepened the kiss. You stopped kissing his lips to go to the corners of his mouth before pulling away to look at him.
You were about to say something when you heard a voice behind you.
“Finally! you two fools were starting to get on my last nerve. Now, keep your tongues out of your throats around me or I might just vomit”
Toph left as fast as she had appeared and left you and Zuko a giggling mess.
“She threatened you too?” Zuko asked, to which you could only hide your face in the crook of his neck and nod. “We might need to deal with her later”
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bakugohoex · 4 years
Text
chapter one ➺ auld rivals
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pairing: pro hero katsuki bakugo x pro hero female reader
cw: language and angry boi
word count: 2000+
a/n: omfg sorry for positing this at midnight but hope you guys like chapter one i think it’s starting off good so far and this is defo a slow burn so don’t expect action until later on
summary: in which you and bakugo are rivals always competing against one another, you get called into the commission late at night, unbeknownst that bakugo is there you arrive expecting nothing important but instead are met face to face with the president herself
masterlist | chapter two 
↞ back to my hero academia masterlist
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Blood dripped from the side of his face, his breathing heavy and resting on his lips was a smirk. The god damn cocky smile that you wanted to punch out of him. “Fucking hell Y/n only 10 people saved, someone’s doing shit.” You scowled how could he talk about saving people when you were the one who was making sure buildings stopped falling on him and the civilians.
All his quirk was bang bang explosions, nothing special. Yours on the other hand telepathy and psychokinesis one hundred times better than shitty Bakugo’s quirk. He would always prance around acting like a penguin with his ass on fire as if he had been the one saving people. All he did was carry them away, you on the other hand, stopping buildings and rubble fall off them with your mind. 
It was a lot harder than Bakugo thought, one wrong thought and everything would come crashing down. But what did you care? His opinion meant nothing and as long as the people were saved that’s all that really mattered. The  stars guided the darkness like a picture-perfect scene, the only torments being the blond beside you explosions in hand and the A rank villain in front of you. 
“Let me handle this.” You were going to have your glory if it was the last thing you’d do, you didn’t want the glory of praise and admiration. You wanted Katsuki Bakugo on his knees admitting that you were better than him. 
You activated your telepathy going into his head, “don’t you fucking dare.” He was unable to move and that’s all you wanted him to do, his silence and lack of movement confirmed he was obeying you before you turned to the villain, their quirk seemed to melt away things it touched. 
You ran up to it, the sweat falling down from your body. You had made a hero costume which suited you and had easy mobility allowing you to not only use your psychokinesis to trap the rubble around the villains arms but to easily run and jump onto objects to kick the villains down. Their arms became trapped as it had already begun to melt away the concrete that you latched onto it and before you could use your quirk you felt the melted away rubble hit your body. 
“Fuck.” A low whisper came as you could hear Bakugo’s thoughts, the hatred he had pent up to you but his inability to move suppressing him. Maybe it was selfish to let your own aspirations get in the way of a quick defeat, but where’s the fun in that. 
You used your quirk effectively getting inside the villain as you prevented it touching anything before grabbing the discarded metal from the destruction that had been caused prior. Metal surrounded your arms as you made it move along with your walking. Both your quirks in action before you pushed everything you had onto the villain. Their movement limited as they were trapped underneath, you heard nor saw no movement and the smirk you felt on your face rise made Bakugo’s blood boil. 
You stopped manipulating Bakugo as he ran towards you quirk raised, you could almost feel the explosions and burning sensation his pace quickening. “Bakugo don’t you dare, or I’ll get inside your head again and we both don’t want that.” 
Telepathy took a toll on you the majority of the times, hearing thoughts and emotions wasn’t something you were too fond of doing. The villain in question had transformed back into a human having previously been a sluggish type of creature, he was knocked unconsciousness, you both saw the police force come and arrest him. 
“Don’t you ever fucking do that shit again Y/n.” Bakugo raised his voice catching the attention of the police force and commission representatives. 
You crossed your arms raising an eyebrow, “I’m the one who defeated the villain.” He was furious, the rage that filled inside of him was more than he could ever imagine, and it was going towards a pipsqueak like you. 
“You got into my head and prevented me from doing my job you dumbass.” His knuckles had turned white at the clenched fist he was making. You had pissed him off and all you could give him was a shrug. 
“Shitty woman.” He could say all he wanted about you, but you didn’t care. 
You didn’t expect him to get on your knees for you, but you were doing your job, and logically you knew that if he used his quirk it would have no effect on this type of villain. You were able to suppress and defeat him and with both you and Bakugo fighting together the chances of risk increased. It wasn’t that you assumed the level of  risk would be high, you knew you had worked it out whilst preventing rubble from falling from civilians. And one of the likely outcomes that had the highest percentage was Bakugo melting away. 
You would never tell him you suppressed him to save him, you’d rather he be pissed with you then even consider that you two were more than rivals. He had left to go back to the agency, whilst you explained what happened to the police force knowing you’d be the one to have to do the paperwork. 
You signed walking back as well, it had reached pitch darkness by the time you arrived back, stripping the costume off, the long-sleeved black leotard covering most of your body, with exposed legs which were covered by thigh highs that went right up to your mid-thigh. 
Your quirk didn’t mean you necessarily needed any fancy costume but the one you wore made it easier to move especially the gloves on your hands which allowed for more materials to be controlled around your fingers. It was a benefit of some sorts; a black necklace went around your neck which allowed for a lack of nausea to occur. It was common for you to vomit up after controlling too many people back in your UA days but now it was less common, only a mild headache occurring. 
Wearing normal clothes, you grabbed your bags knowing your patrol was over and you could have a weekend of relaxation. Mina and Momo having invited the girls for a catchup, it had been months since you last saw them and to have a catchup on life events was a must. You all had been busy and as you all grew older the busier everybody got, even the boys seemed to have their own lives. You didn’t mind but working alongside Bakugo in the same agency was a pain, you never expected it once graduating together but now you and Bakugo were like auld rivals. 
You saw Bakugo at the front entrance he was on the phone as he paced back and forth. Probably one of his hook ups telling him he’s the father, you didn’t dare look into his thoughts, it was his private life and in honesty it made you uncomfortable. 
He saw you walking out, you easily passed him he was still pissed by how his voice raised even more. Someone had made him even angrier than before clearly; you didn’t bother to ask mainly due to not caring. 
A couple signs and vulgar swears came out of his mouth, you didn’t know if it was a friend, mother or even some from above but you stopped caring once you heard something from your bag. 
Your phone ringing loudly, you hated phone calls even from your own parents, the idea of talking to people wherever you were was disgusting. That didn’t mean you hated people you just liked your own space and liked hanging out with people on your own accord. You answered the unknown number you were met with someone you never expected. 
“This is Y/n Y/l/n.” They were almost unsure themselves, why call if you don’t know if you’re talking to the right person. 
“Ugh yeah.” You were hesitant not liking the weakness of not being able to hear or know the other person’s thoughts on the other side. 
You heard a sign of relief as they spoke again, “thank God, we thought you had been sent to the hospital, it’s the Hero Public Safety commission, I work under the president and we want to see you.” 
“You didn’t have to make it so dramatic” You mutter barely audible, “I’ll be there.” 
She says no more hanging up, you hated being called to the commission, they had no need to directly go to you when they could just go to someone who truly cared about the formalities, all you wanted to do was save people and piss Bakugo off, but no something always seemed to happen. 
You turned around walking back the way you came from, passing the agency, Bakugo had probably already gone home himself. Why the fuck did you have to go to the commission why couldn’t that shitty man get called in as well? 
You didn’t hate Bakugo you were just tired and hated how he could go home probably to a nice warm bed whilst you had to take detours for hells know what reasons. 
Finally arriving after your unrelieved feelings had become dull to bare, you walked inside a man already waiting for you. You followed trying to get some sort of vibe from the man, you couldn’t bare to read his thoughts knowing it’d be emotional with anxieties over work so tried to look at him seeing if he had anything to him that showed hope. 
He didn’t! He led you to the presidents office after a silent ride u the elevator, you didn’t mean to stare at the man, but you wanted to know if he had any clue of what was going on. And when you did finally get into his brain it was more worries about if his wife would let him in the house for being late. 
A bore as you had thought, the double doors enticed you to come forward, someone was already waiting in the chair as you walked in, what you hadn’t realised was a woman had been walking back out. You both crashed into each other and her papers fell everywhere, using your quirk you gathered the papers quickly preventing them for falling on the ground and getting muddled up, the papers rested back in her arms as you helped her up. 
“Sorry I wasn’t looking where I was going.” You hummed an its okay before seeing the president. It was a shock to see her the one leading this meeting but you didnt ask just wanting to get it over and done with.
“Agh Y/n so glad you could join us, take a seat.” At the sight of your name being spoken the man quickly turned his head, and it was someone you hadn’t expected. 
Bakugo sat on the chair, angry as always. You sat beside him, his glare on your body, he watched intentively as you tried to make him stop by glaring back. 
“What’s the stupid psychic doing here?” You continued to glare but at the word psychic you got pissed, you weren’t a stupid fake psychic and it irritated you when he said it.
The president watched you both glaring it was a sight to say the least, you were on the verge of pushing his chair over and you could already sense explosions about to appear before she finally cleared her throat before speaking. 
“We didn’t call you both here to fight we have a proposition for you two.” You both gave blank looks before Bakugo spoke. 
“If you want us to do some shitty work in other fields than I’m already out.” Bakugo was ready to leave. You nodded in agreement not wanting to be involved as some promoter for a shitty energy drink to be sold to the youth. Both ready to leave on your own accords, the president finally turned away looking out through the glass windows admiring the stars and the moon which shone throughout the blues and blacks of the sky. It was a river of opportunity that you had often admired whilst on patrols. 
She spoke again but this time the next words that came out of her mouth had stopped you both in your thoughts. “What do you two know about the Paranormal Liberation Front?”
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mortedeveles · 4 years
Note
AHHH that last mha headcanon was amazing tysm! You did great!!♡♡ Could I ask for another one with the same boys? (baku,tenya & izu!) With a crush who draws a lot? Like maybe they doodle while in class and while on break, 'cause they're bored? And the bois get curious because they're ALWAYS drawing while in the middle of class and they space out! Bonus points if the bois check their notebook and there's dumb doodles of them doing/saying something funny and some with little hearts around them. ^^"
thank you!! of course, anon! here you go, I hope you like it! a friendly reminder that my REQUESTS ARE OPEN! feel free to request lovelies! i’m ready to write for whatever you guys have in mind. i have a project coming up in 1-2 weeks and i think you guys will like it 👁️👁️! i’ll be posting the bonuses of model for me soon enough and a new series (not bakuhoe) will be posted as well! so stay tuned for more <3 as always, please leave a like, reblog, follow and/or comment if you enjoyed! support and feedback are ALWAYS welcomed! <3 
PAIRING: IIDA T. X GN!READER, BAKUGOU K. X GN!READER, TODOROKI S. X GN!READER
THEMES: humor, fluff. [HEADCANNONS]
TW: cursing
IIDA, MIDORIYA, KATSUKI, TODOROKI WITH A DOODLER!CRUSH READER
Frankly, school can be quite boring. Even though you're in the hero course and you learn extraordinary things, it doesn't exclude regular civilian subjects such as history, math and so.
When you lose focus in class, you like to redirect your attention to doodling. It's fun, relaxing and effortless- it's also quite time-consuming and you've spaced out of class many times.
When you space out, you lose the function to pay attention to your reality- and ever since the first day you started doodling in class, you never noticed a pair of curious eyes watching you.
IIDA TENYA
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Iida Tenya is quite the gentleman. He's also known for being strict and keeping the chaotic class 1A in order- (well, try and fail many times, but he does his best.) During classes with Aizawa, the majority of the classroom is quiet- but he always hears intense scribbling from your seat.
Usually, he does his best to ignore it and focuses on the class but you're his crush- and the fact that he always hears intense scribbling every day is quite concerning. But one day, he can't take it anymore.
It's a hot and sweltering day, it doesn't help that class 1A just finished hero training and even though everyone hit the showers afterward- the classroom is boiling.
Iida's neck is drenched in sweat, Aizawa's flat and tired voice drones on and he hears furious scribbling behind him- it's all giving him a headache.
Slowly, he turns around and stares blankly at you. Your head is lowered, hand sketching in your notebook. Your movements are fluid and bold and your arm is propped lazily on the desk, leaning your head against it.
He feels his nerves calm at the sight. But then he remembers that he's class president- you're not paying attention in class and that is not okay. Iida opens his mouth and delivers a long speech. Tenya is strict- but he's not stupid- he lowers his voice so he won't embarrass you in front of the class.
After his long speech, he expects you to look sullen or simply understand where he's coming from- but instead, you're snickering with a smile.
''I'm sorry, Iida. I just space out of class all the time and I like to doodle,'' there's a playful pout on your lips, a pleading look gleaming in your eyes.
Oh god, how is he supposed to reprimand you when you look so cute and adorable?
His voice is stuck in his throat- there's a flushed expression on his face and it only gets worse when Aizawa's voice booms.
''Iida, if you're done with your important chat with L/N, turn around and pay attention. You're class president, I expect better from you.''
Iida nearly squeaks as he turns around and nods, apologizing several times. Aizawa simply sighs tiredly and resumes the lesson.
After that time, Iida spots you doodling all the time in class. It makes him concerned- do you even pay attention in class? Are your grades failing?
Eventually, he confronts you about and explains his concerns. His face is beet red when he's done, but you simply brush him off with a smile.
Assuring him that your grades and knowledge are in perfect order, you simply doodle a lot in class. After that confrontation, Iida is much more relaxed about the situation, and every time he sees you doodle, there's a soft smile on his lips.
MIDORIYA IZUKU
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Midoriya is a very observant person. He has dozens of notebooks dedicated to quirks, Pro Heroes, and so on and while he doesn't write about his friends- he tends to notice several things.
For example, you. Since you began to attend U. A with Izuku, he's noticed that you spend most of your time sketching, doodling god knows what. You've never shown him your artwork.
Another thing he's realized is that when you start doodling- only Aizawa's loud voice or the school bell will snap you out of it. Izuku's tried everything- waving his hands in your face, throwing you paper balls- nothing. It's like you've been sucked out of reality..
Your manners leave him interested, curious to know more. He's sure you're not slacking off in class- he's been in several study sessions with Tsuyu, Iida, Ochaco, Todoroki, and you- you're always on track and usually have a good grasp of the subject.
You rarely share your notes- only with Tsuyu and Iida and occasionally Todoroki.
Midoriya doesn't mind, but it makes him burn with curiosity. So on the next studying session, he decides to come up with a plan.
''Y/N, what did you get on question 43?'' Ochaco asked. She leaned towards said girl and giggled.
Izuku frowned. What was so funny? The brunette's grin grew as she stared down at Y/N's notes, who was stammering and trying to hide their notes from the public view. 
When Ochaco and Y/N rose and said they needed to visit the restroom- Izuku struck. Tsuyu was chatting with Todoroki and Iida had his nose buried in his book- so they didn't notice when he grabbed your notebook.
He flicked through pages, greedily drinking in the sight of your doodles. They were all varied- some flowers, vines, others were small and cute animals- and others were more complex but in the end, doodles. Midoriya froze when he flipped through a page and saw a... peculiar sight. 
In the middle of the page, was a heart. You had doodled several headshots of Izuku, in which some of them he was saying corny or bad jokes, and in others, he was simply smiling. His cheeks burned when he saw the small hearts that you had doodled around him.
When he heard your voice and footsteps approaching the dorm- he quickly dropped your notebook in your spot and tried to act casual. Tsuyu raised an eyebrow at this, but said nothing, while Todoroki asked him why his face was burning.
He had refused to answer and remained somewhat silent during the rest of the session, his cheeks red. His heart was soaring with happiness- those doodles only meant one thing- you had feelings for him.
Once the studying session was over, Izuku would pull you aside and confess his feelings. His veins were pumping with confidence- you liked him back!
BAKUGOU KATSUKI 
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Ever since you befriended Katsuki, he's noticed that you're a very attentive friend.
That is when you're not in class. You submerge yourself into your notebook with a pencil and nothing else- and pour all your attention into it.
Bakugou thinks it's rather annoying, he's tried to get your attention several times, only to fail miserably.
Today is no exception. Bakugou's ready to pop- dunceface and shitty head have been bothering him all day, stupid Deku gave a speech that made him roll his eyes and he was tired and just wanted to go to bed.
Unfortunately, he found himself stuck in class, listening to Aizawa talk like a damn zombie- trying to grab your attention, but you were too immersed in your doodles.
Irritated, he pressed his sweat hand on your neck and ignited a small spark- not enough to hurt you, but enough to startle you. The effect was immediate. You yelped and snapped your neck upwards, clutching the back of your neck. Everyone stared at you, bewildered. Katsuki grinned, satisfied that he finally got your attention but when you realized it was him- you narrowed your eyes and scowled.
''Bakugou? L/N? What's going on?'' Aizawa asked sharply.
Your scowl deepened. ''Everything is okay, Aizawa-sensei. I apologize.'' Your eyes stayed on Bakugou as you spoke.
Aizawa hummed in response and continued with the lesson. Bakugou bit down on his lip, swallowing a snicker.
After class, you smacked Bakugou on the head, to which he responded with a growl and the two of you engaged in a match of playful fighting, and between snickers and lunges your notebook fell out of your open backpack, loose sheets slipping out. 
Immediately, you jumped back and began to gather them, but Bakugou kneeled down and helped you as well. He froze as he held a loose sheet- there were several sketches of him with different expressions- in some, he was smirking, frowning or screaming- but that wasn't what made him freeze. It was the several little hearts that you had doodled around him.
You nearly shrieked when you saw which paper he was holding and snatched it out of his hands. In a blink of an eye, you had picked everything up and ran away.
Katsuki was puzzled. He stood there for a minute or two, gears shifting in his brain as he processed the situation. Once it finally kicked in, he raced after you and found you sitting in a corner, head buried between your knees.
''Um,'' he cleared his throat awkwardly. ''Hey.'' his voice was gruff and tense.
You groaned and shook your head. ''Go away, Bakugou. I know you don't like me, so just spare me from the harsh rejection.''
''What?'' he furrowed his eyebrows and kneeled to your height. ''What the fuck are you talking about? That's not true.''
Slowly, you raised your head and peered at him, narrowing your eyes with suspicion. ''It's not?''
Bakugou scoffed. ''Of course not. I like you too, dumbass,'' he grumbled the last sentence, feeling his ears and cheeks warm up.
''Oh.'' was all you said. The blonde snickered and pulled you upwards onto your feet.
''C'mon dumbass, I'll walk you home. Gotta keep you safe.''
(bonus extra!)
TODOROKI SHOUTO 
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Shoto is clever and can improvise quickly- but he can be quite dense or oblivious at times. He probably wouldn't notice your doodling habits and if he did, he would brush it off. You're just doodling in class, nothing too fancy.
He doesn't understand how far your doodling goes until he asks you to lend him your math notes after class, and you happily oblige.
Shoto spends the rest of the afternoon studying and writing down whatever he missed- all thanks to your notes that were thankfully complete.
Once he was sure he'd done enough studying, Todororki began to flip through your notes idly, appreciating your writing. The more he read, the more he realized that there were doodles...everywhere.
He thought it was quite impressive that you managed to doodle so much in class and your artistic skills were quite impressive. There was a variety of sketches- plants, animals, silly faces but the ones he saw the most, were the ones of him.
Shoto felt a strange flutter whenever he saw one of your doodles that were him. You captured him perfectly and he cracked a grin whenever he saw one in which he was saying a corny or silly joke. It was refreshing.
It made his heart warm, seeing that his crush seemed to be as fond of him as he was of them. I don’t think he’d truly understand why you would draw him several times and instead, would ask you for an explanation. 
The next day, he made sure to thank you for lending him your notes- and for making such beautiful and impressive doodles. 
210 notes · View notes
soulwillower · 4 years
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heat waves • stanley uris
(stanley uris x reader smut)  
requested: stanley uris fic where he plays baseball and she plays softball please? best friends to lovers if you can! (bonus for borrowing each other's clothes) 
warnings: softball player! reader, swearing, smut at the end sorry, oral (male receiving), fluff mostly though, i promise, unedited as fuck i wrote this all in the last few hours LOL
i hope u dont mind i added smut at the end
(this was inspired partly by the song heat waves by glass animals but just a bit idk) 
[losers + reader are 18+.]
3.2k words i think
it was hot.
in fact it was boiling fucking hot, in stan's opinion, and despite loving nearly everything about summer, the heat was the absolute worst of those characteristics by far. 
he sighs as he flies down the backroads, away from the baseball fields and towards his house. he's pushing his curls back from his face and groaning as he feels sweat beads on his forehead, his eyes catching the dying sunlight and making him itch to wash his hands.
it's june, and there's a deep heatwave that hit derry that's caused all the a/c units at the store richie works at to disappear from the shelves, the public pool that bill and eddie work at the become overcrowded with kids and families escaping the heat, and the baseball fields to be extremely blistering as mike, stan, and you had to stand under the sun all day the last two days.
his lips twitch up faintly at the thought of earlier today, when he'd had a ten minute break and had ran over in his spikes with mike to catch an inning of the softball game on the fields adjacent to theirs. 
the only reason they'd gone was to see you play, of course - and to your embarrassment, they'd caught right when you'd stepped to the plate and had hollered "yeah, baby! y/n/n!" loud enough to make everybody in the stands' head turn and embarrassing enough to make you giggle as you waited for the pitch. 
you'd hit a double then, which had also scored in two runs and stan had seen your smile as you stood out at second base, breathing hard and brushing the dirt off your pants. and when he'd waved to you, you waved back with so much pride and excitement that he'd felt his heart skip a beat.
he smiles to himself as he turns the corner into his neighborhood, squinting slightly as the air moves in squiggles feet above the pavement. he swears with a shake of his head - he fucking hates the heat, but the double edged sword of baseball season in the summer makes it worth it. 
his phone buzzes from where it's placed in his cup holder and he grabs it, smiling at the y/n y/l/n !!!!! that pops up at the top. he rolls his eyes as he answers, remembering the time when you'd called him a psychopath for having your full name in his phone contact, claiming you knew for a fact he somehow didn't know any other y/n's, so you’d added the exclamation points ‘just for flare.’ 
he answers, "hey, how was the last game?" he asks as he pulls into his driveway. "we lost." you grumble and he hums as he pulls himself out of the car, leaving his bat bag in the trunk since he's got practice tomorrow. "i'm sorry to hear that. d'you want to come over?" he asks casually as he makes his way inside and sighs at the relief of the air conditioning. "yes, yeah. i do." you say and stan smiles down to the ground at your goofiness. as he enters the kitchen he realizes his parents are out, so he asks, "can you bring food?"
you sigh and he can imagine your grin as you say, "god, the shit i do for you, uris. why can't we go together?" you whine. he snorts, "but i have to shower." he tries to reason, but you retort, "i just spend thirteen hours in the heat too, stan, i need to shower as well."
he smiles, walking up the stairs towards his room. "alright, alright. we can go together, just come over and you can shower here."
"did i mention i love you?" you sigh, almost dreamily. stan stops in his tracks, heart stopping and mouth going dry but still grinning as he hears his name yelled by a voice in the background of your line and you hiss back a muffled, "shut up!"
his face is red as he mutters, "yeah, yeah. love you too, y/n/n. i'll see you soon."
your voice echoes in his head as he stares at the tiles of his shower the entire time he's showering. did i mention i love you? as the ice cold water cascades over his sore muscles, relaxing him and breathing energy back into his tired body, he can't get you out of his head. 
your voice, your hair, the way you have so much confidence on the field and yet are the sweetest and funniest person he's every met. as his mind wanders, he thanks god that his shower is freezing and he groans, trying to stop imagining his best friend while he's in the shower.
did i mention i love you?
he steps out soon after that, feeling like a bit of a creep. as he ruffles his towel-dry hair, he hears his front door open. opening the door to the bathroom, he's suddenly facing you, clad in your dirty uniform, your visor still on your head and a tired but happy smile on your face. "where's donny and andrea?" you ask and stan shrugs, chuckling a bit at your dumb nickname for his father, "think they had some meeting and went out after." he's not really focused though, because he's aware that he is standing with only a red towel hanging low on his hips as you stand in front of him, your cheeks red and eyes wide, bouncing around him and avoiding eye contact, flustered as you clear your throat.
did i mention i love you?
he grabs his dirty uniform to sweep into the laundry and gets you a fresh towel, gathering clothes for you to change into before residing to his own bedroom. the shower turns on right as he pulls on his shirt and flops back onto his mattress.
he can't get you off his mind, which isn't necessarily a new development, but ever since the heat wave, his mind has been stuck in a loop that's never ending. y/n, baseball, y/n, baseball, y/n, y/n, y/n....
did i mention i love you?
it's hot in his room and he stares at the patterns in his ceiling, lifting a brow as the spots morph in and out of shapes and suddenly it's back to you, your angelic face in his vision and he almost groans. he loves you way too much, he thinks. 
he knows every single feature about you; enough so that your face, beautiful and clear as always, appears in his vision and he's fucked because he knows he’s still be able to remember where every feature, mark or blemish on your face is, even when you're not with him.
even though he knows that your relationship is just platonic, he still finds himself imagining his lips exploring the expanse of your neck and he yearns to touch every part of you, to be touched by you. he can't get you out of his mind.
the shower shuts off so he sits up and rubs his eyes - the danger and power the you have over him almost makes him laugh, especially because if you knew half the things he thought about you, you'd probably kill him.
he's smiling dumbly, thinking about the time you and bill got caught sneaking onto the derry golf course and made richie and stan pick you two up, right as you pad into his room.
"i look like a dumbass, stan!" you groan, lifting your arms as you spin a bit, and he almost dies. he has to shake his head to avoid you seeing his blush because you're standing in front of him, wearing his baseball team practice shirt that has his last name on it and his gym shorts, cinched at the waist to keep them on you and neither things fit you very well but he thinks he's going to lose it because his heart feels so warm. 
your hair is wet and making the shirt totally wet where the ends of the strands touch, your skin bright from washing off the eyeblack you'd worn all day. he's so lost in the image of you that you have to repeat yourself.
"stan! stop looking at me, oh my god i want to die." you shove your face into your hands and laugh. he shakes his head rid of his stupor and stands from his bed, laying a hand on your shoulder. "you look incredible right now, y/n. let's go, i'm hungry."
he grabs the hoodie he'd insisted you order for him early last year - with your club team's logo on it and a big, white #2 and your last name on the back. he knows it's too hot to actually wear it, but he's going to take it because you always get cold under his car's a/c.
he's not always the best at approaching you in a way that is comforting, but you beam at him as you follow him out towards his car. you're both walking slowly through the hot nighttime air, half because the air is so thick it feels like you're wading, but half from the exhausting day you'd both had. 
every muscle in stan's body aches as he pulls himself into the driver's seat, making sure everything was straight and in place. he doesn't even blush when he turns the key twice before starting the ignition, knowing that you don't mind and even show affection towards his compulsions after all this time. his heart thumps at the thought.
"where to?" you yawn as you ask and he can feel your eyes on him as he's leaning back, backing his car out of the driveway. he flushes once again under your beautiful gaze.
stan then finds himself in the back of his trunk at the quarry, the windows still up because you insisted it'd be too hot with the door open. he'd listened to you because you're you - but if it had been bill, or eddie, or ben, or mike or bev or especially richie he would have groaned and complained about how bad it was for his battery to keep the a/c running.
but it was you, so he did it with a smile on his face and a thump in his heart. you're sitting with your knees touching, stomachs full of fries, burgers, and vanilla milkshakes.
you're still working on your milkshake, spooning it into your mouth slowly as you tell stan a story about your day. "-and she slid under the tag - no, don't look at me like that, she was under it! - and the fucking ump called her out." you grumble, glaring into your milkshake. stan just grins, taking in your natural hair and how it's framing your face, the way your legs gleam in the moonlight and showcase the random bruises you have from taking pitches to the legs.
he forgets to respond and you look up at him, lifting a brow. "oh, yeah, i got a few bruises." you mutter, examining your leg yourself. you perk up, "look at this one! it's got stitch marks!" you say enthusiastically, pulling your bare thigh up so it's across stan's lap, scooting closer to him. he gulps, the proximity of you to him making it hard to focus as you run your fingers over the skin.
"shit." he mutters, hingers falling to touch the purple skin that was blossoming in a faint circle, red and purple stitch marks from the softball etching their way onto your skin. "that must've stung." he adds, eyes glued to your bare leg. you hum in agreement and suddenly your eyes are meeting his and he can't breathe at all.
you're closer than he'd expected as you straighten up, leg falling flat against his lap as you stare deep into each other's eyes. yours are swimming with wonder as you watch him, and he almost jumps when your hand lands on his shoulder. "what're you thinking? you're in your head a lot tonight, stan." you say gently, with all the care in the world and he doesn't really feel the usual twinge of guilt he feels for being more reserved than usual - instead he just feels like he may explode if he doesn't just tell you.
"y/n." he says it so quietly that all he can hear is the first part of your name. "uh-i... uh, maybe it's the heat wave, but..." he shakes his head, knowing that excuse with not work. you're too smart to believe a fib that simple. he sighs.
"no. no, i just- sometimes all that i think about is you." he says, his hand falling to rub over your bare thigh. he feels your muscles tense under his palm and he searches your eyes, his stomach tying itself into knots of anxiety as he waits patiently.
"what-what do you mean?" you ask softly, eyes flickering between his and he bites his lips, looking out to the quarry quickly before looking at you. he thinks about the days you've spent together with the others down at the water, all the drunken nights where you find your way to the clubhouse you'd all built in middle school.
he thinks about how you always, always make it to his games when you're not also playing; how you always sit at the far top right of the bleachers and scream his name loud enough that he can hear you even when he's way out in center field, how you always wear his away uniform jersey and give it back to him with a hug after the games. he thinks about all the hours the two of you have spent together at derry's batting cages, competitively keeping tallies of how many line drives you can each hit.
"stan?" you ask again softly, biting your lip. "i think about you too." you tell him, and he shakes his head, knowing that you aren't totally understanding him (but that's definitely not your fault).
"i think i love you."
he says it louder than intended, and it slices through the midnight air in a way that makes the world stagnant. he swears, even the frogs stop croaking, the cicadas stop buzzing, the wind stops blowing through the leaves in the forest.
"like... like you love me?" you ask, your leg still across his lap, hand still on his shoulder reassuring him that you at least weren't completely disgusted by his admission.
"like i'm in love with you." he reiterates, looking straight into your apprehensive eyes as he says it. it takes barely a split second before you're smiling at him in a grin that knocks the wind right out of stan's chest again. 
"what made you decide that?" you ask with a huge, breathtakingly sweet smile as your hands slide to hold his neck. he huffs a laugh, unsure still, "dunno. lots of things - everything about you, really." he mumbles, feeling slightly stupid but still incredibly giddy as you lean closer.
"well i'm in love with you, stan." you say, lips ghosting over his. he grins, the feeling of you so close to him making his fingers tingle as one hand stays on your thigh, the other falling to your hip.
he can't speak, so instead he closes the gap. your lips are warm against him - your whole body is - as you come to life, kissing him like you've been doing it your whole life. you whimper lightly and it makes him sigh with pleasure, tilting his head to deepen the kiss, tasting the vanilla of your milkshake on your tongue.
slowly, you slide onto his lap and his hands move up your back, pulling you impossibly closer to him, his tongue swiping against your plush lips. you're straddling him, cupping his jaw with both hands as you accept his tongue, yours caressing his sweetly and he wonders why you haven't been doing this your whole life.
he pushes against you, pulling you closer to him as you pull back for breath. "i've wanted to do that for so long." you mutter lowly as his lips immediately attach to the soft expanse of your skin, his fingers tickling down your bare thighs. he grins as he feels goosebumps form under his palms, biting down and sucking the soft skin on your throat, eliciting a moan from you. 
he pulls back a bit, "me too." he says, lips peppering kisses all the way up to your lips and catching them again, your hand sliding into his har and tugging on the strands.
you slowly grind against him and he groans at the feeling of you around him, the pleasure making his mind fuzzy as all he can think about it you. 
and then he’s dying because you’re trailing a hand down to palm him through his pants and all he can do is groan a bit against your chest and look at you because holy shit.
 you slide off his lap and down on to your knees in the small space between his legs, watching him with those beautiful doe eyes as you slide down his shorts slowly. 
he’s watching, lip caught between his teeth as you pull him free from where he strains against his boxers, licking your lips and pumping his base a few times. he grunts as your hand moves, the feeling making him twitch in pleasure. his cock is dripping precum and you slowly reach your tongue out, swirling around his tip. he lets out a dejected moan and grips your shoulders as you slowly take him into your mouth, wet and warm and perfect.”good girl.” he mutters quietly through his bliss and he notices how you flush under the praise, your tongue flattening as you take him further in. 
 as you bob your head down and try to take as much of him as you can, you look up through your lashes to watch him, the eye contact making his legs weak.
 his lips are parted, watching as you suck him off as his hips twitch, hands playing with your hair through his pleasure. "fuck, y/n..." he moans as you start to bob your head quicker, lifting one of your hands to grab his own. he lets you guide his hand to the back of your head and you gently put pressure on it.
he thinks he might faint as he realizes what you want. slowly, he pushes you further down on his cock and he gasps at the tight feeling of you gagging around him. 
 he groans, “you like that, hm?” quietly as you whimper around his cock, the vibrations nearing him to his high. “holy shit.” he mutters to himself as he moves your head, the lewd noises of his cock in your mouth and his moans filling up the car. 
you take him as far into your mouth as you can and he feels you try to relax as he gently pushes you further down on his cock until he hits the back of your throat. you moan, the vibrations pushing him to the edge as his hips buck up slightly.
you choke and pull off of him, catching your breath as you make eye contact, “being so good for me.” he mutters, his eyes glazed over as he watches you pump him. you smile, cheeks pink from the praise and he almost swoons with how fucking perfect you look. 
he lets out a low moan at your warm mouth taking him in, bobbing up and down. his hands push you down onto him again and he holds you there while he gently thrusts up, your hands on his thighs. he tilts his head back, eyes squeezing shut in pure bliss. 
its only a few seconds and he barely gets out a, "fuck, y/n, i'm gonna-" before he's spilling into your mouth. to his surprise, you moan around him and slowly lick him up and swallow, looking up at him with a tired smile.
“holy shit.” he says yet again, staring at you as you pull his shorts back up and bite your lip. he pulls you into a kiss and he can taste himself on your lips, making his stomach flip. 
"date me." he says quickly as he pulls back, his cheeks flushed from the taste of you on his tongue and the post-orgasmic bliss. you pull back, grinning. "well you don't have to be so polite about it." your voice sounds fucked-out and kind of raw and he’s certainly a dead man. 
he chuckles, rolling his eyes at your sarcastic tone. he loves you so fucking much.  "fine. y/n, please be my girlfriend. i want to be your boyfriend, i want us to date. please, will you go out with me?" his voice is dead-pan, but he's serious about it, and you can tell by his boyish grin.
you laugh, shaking your head. "god, was that so hard?" you ask, your hands rubbing over his chest, where his muscles tense in soreness. he then realizes you're still straddling him and how fucking sore you must be. he pulls you closer.
and then you pull him in for another kiss, both of your teeth clashing slightly from your grins. you didn't even explicitly say yes, stan wants to say, but instead he mutters, "did i mention i love you?"
you smile, cheeks red. “you might have mentioned it.” you say bashfully. he grins, kissing your cheek sweetly, hand running up your thigh slowly. “can i taste you, babylove?” he mumbles against your skin and he feels you shiver as you let out a quiet moan. 
you grin, kissing him on the lips, “why dont we go back to your place...can i stay the night?” you ask, cheeks aflame as you look at him. “i want to take our time.” you add. 
it’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen and he nods, grinning at you. “fuck- yes, yes you can. of course.” he says, smiling at you. you kiss him heatedly, grinning as you pull back and lean over to crawl back to the passenger seat. stan slaps your ass lightly as you do and you squeal, grinning back at him with a lifted brow, “c’mon, uris. you’re scoring tonight.”
he rolls his eyes at your cheesy words and groans a bit, but he can’t ignore the butterflies that thrash in his chest nonetheless. 
you love him.
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302 notes · View notes
liliesoftherain · 5 years
Note
hiii 💕 if u r interested could u do 52 and 58 prompts (can i kiss u smth like that and are you flirting with me?) it could be about y/n having a crush on bakugo (he likes her too) but she flirts way too much on him (in front of everyone at the dorms) in the weirdest moments (middle of class, 1a watching a movie, eating lunch) but ends in fluff IM SO SORRY IF ITS TOO MUCH TO ASK if u don’t like it i can write another one 😊
A/N: This had me so happy, you have no idea. Thanks for the idea, and you better give me more :b 
Title: Who said pickup lines don’t work?
Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x Reader
52. “Can I kiss you right now?”58.  “Are you flirting with me?”
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Katsuki Bakugou!:
You were constantly getting away with embarrassing him, there were way too many times to count as it was practically a daily occurrence. You were always doing it in the most public places, like in the classroom:
“I’m lost.”
Bakugou looked up to see you hovering over his desk, a confused look on your face as you held your notebook. It was study hall, and Aizawa was fast asleep, leaving people to their own devices. He was originally studying by himself, until you came over to bother him that is.
“Dumbass, why do I care.” He huffed, hoping his face wasn’t spotting a blush as he saw you pout.
“Because you’re the only one who can help me.”
“Tch. Whatever.” He looked back down at his desk as you set your notebook down in front of him, pointing to a-
A picture?
“What?”
“Like I said, I’m lost. Can you draw me the directions to your heart?” 
You pointed at your drawing, in the middle of it it said ‘Your Heart’ in very fancy lettering. 
Bakugou knew that this time his face definitely was heating up as you gave him a big flirty grin. The snickers and coos from his classmates only embarrassed him further as he ripped the page out and exploded it in his palms. 
“I’M NOT GIVING YOU DIRECTIONS TO SHIT, YOU LOSER!”
All you did was sigh and shrug your shoulders, giving him a wink as you grabbed your book in hopes he wouldn’t burn that too.
“Maybe next time, firecracker~”
“SHUT UP!”
Or even during lunch for the entire cafeteria to hear if they were listening. He knew that most likely no one cared, but it didn’t help it when you did something so grand it felt like all eyes were on him.
“Oh Katsuki!” You yelled from across the table, voice so loud that even Bakugou wanted to cringe back from it.
“What do you want now.”
“So, in front of all these witnesses,” You pointed to the lunch table and the rest of the people in the cafeteria, “I need you to do something.”
“No.”
“But you have to! Listen, you’re smart so I need you to answer this okay?” You fluttered your eyes, and Bakugou felt his resolve cracking. You always knew how to get him to do whatever the hell you wanted, he was sick of it.
“What.”
Mina, Kaminari, and Sero started to snicker as you dramatically stood on the table. They must have known about your stupid plan, those assholes.
“SO EVERYONE IS A WITNESS- KISS ME IF I’M WRONG BUT, DINOSAURS STILL EXIST RIGHT?” 
Plenty of eyes found their way over towards the commotion, and Katsuki felt his temper flare. Feeling mortified as you blew a kiss towards him and began to walk closer from atop the tables. 
“STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU LITTLE SHIT!” He got up and sped away, hoping the red on his cheekbones wouldn’t become permanent. He wanted your lips nowhere near his, or so he told himself.
Even times where it was just you two, you never left him alone.
“I’m sorry, were you talking to me?” You questioned, looking up from the pot of water you set on the stove to boil.
Katsuki, who was cutting some vegetables looked up with a brow raised.
“No?”
“Well then, would you please start. I like hearing your voice.” You smiled while grabbing the noodles.
“NO!” Katsuki snapped his head away from you, putting more force into his cutting than necessary.
“No fair, your voice is too pretty to be kept quiet. Talk to me.”
“S-shut up already! I’ll fucking kick your ass if you keep it up!”
“Could I kick yours back if you do?~”
“LIKE YOU COULD! DON’T TOUCH MY ASS!”
There were times where you weren’t even trying, yet you still somehow managed to get to him. This time in particular is when he couldn’t hold back any longer, and that was the first time you were flustered by him.
It was right after school ended, everyone was exhausted by Aizawa’s intense training at the end of class. Everyone had made their way to get changed out of their uniforms when Bakugou had saw you lingering behind. You looked tired and worn down, having a rough session with Shinsou earlier. Katsuki was annoyed the entire time you were fighting, not because he thought you couldn’t handle yourself, but because you seemed distracted and were taking more hits than you should have been. 
Without even realizing it himself, he stopped to bend down, pretending to tie his shoes as he waited for you to catch up. Once you were by his side you looked down at him with a frown, what the hell was this?
You were always smiling at him.
“What the hell is up with you?” He huffed, standing to his full height.
“I’m just.. Tired, sorry.” You shrugged, bringing an arm to rub the side of your neck, looking away.
Katsuki just stared on in worry, although if anyone told him he was worried he would blast them into oblivion, because Katsuki Bkaugou was never worried.
“Tch, then get more sleep. You can’t keep getting your ass handed to you like that. Got it?”
You smiled, or well you tried to. It was small and didn’t seem to be real, and Bakugou felt a bit hurt cerep into his chest. He looked away as quickly as he could, hoping you didn’t notice the upset look in his eyes.
You hadn’t been pestering him lately and he was growing annoyed. You weren’t being yourself, and he had this nagging feeling he didn’t understand tugging on his heart. 
Picking up the pace to get away from you, he didn’t think you’d try to so hard to catch up to him.
“Bakugou-ooh!” During the match, Shinso had delivered a hard blow on your left knee, and now that you were rushing to keep up with your crush, your body wasn’t ready for the pressure. Along with the blow, and still being so tired from your match, you moved quicker than your body wanted and your knee gave out.
Katsuki quickly turned to see you tumble forwards, so he stuck out his arms to catch you before you fell face first onto the floor. You stumbled a bit more, but his tight hold on you held you up, allowing you to steady yourself in his arms. They were wrapped around your waist, holding on just enough to not be painful. You could feel his chest underneath your palms as they pressed against him, and you couldn’t help the slight blush at the thought of how strong it was. He looked far too handsome right now, and your gaze was stuck on him.
 His beating heart quickened as you looked up at him, your eyes were blown open wide and sparkling from the setting sun that was filtering through the large windows. It caused his breath to hitch as your lips parted open in awe, a light blush across your own cheeks. 
“Oh Katsuki.. I think I’m falling for you.”
Normally he’d fight you, push you away and yell at you for being ridiculous as always, but right now you were too beautiful to look away from. You smiled up at him, and it wasn't the same flirty smile you always teased him with.
No, this was a genuine smile that he’s never seen before and he couldn’t help but look at your lips.
He knew what that feeling had to be, he missed you. Your flirts, your presence, but most importantly;
That’s the smile he’s been missing all day long.
He couldn’t help it, the urge to speak was too strong and so he just followed through.
“I’ll sweep you off your feet for the rest of my life if you keep looking at me, just like this.” 
Your mouth dropped open, red roses blooming across your cheeks as your breath caught in your throat. He was just looking at you so intensely, like if he was absolutely lovestruck. You didn’t know what to do, so you just stuttered.
“W-what? I-I.. huh? Are you flirting with me?” This seemed to snap him out of his own daze, because his cheeks then matched yours as he backed away from you. Hands crossed over his chest as he yelled at you.
“W-WHAT!? YOU NERD, I DIDN’T SAY SHIT! YOU’RE HEARING THINGS! GO AWAY ALREADY.”
“But you said-”
“I DIDN’T.”
“Did you mean it?”
“I DID!”
“Really?” You bite your lip, happiness coursing through your body at the sight of his flushing face.
He eyes screwed shut while letting out a sharp breath, opening them slowly but keeping his gaze on the ground.
“I.. I did. I.. I fucking like you okay?”
“I like you too Katsuki, really really!”
“I hope so, otherwise I’d kick your ass for leading me on with those terrible liners.” He clicked the roof of his mouth with his tongue, uncrossing his arms to shove them into his pocket instead. 
You just giggled, closing in on him to wrap him into a hug. He went ridgid, not sure what to do, but calmed down as he heard your voice.
“They’re only for you, no one compares to you.”
“Damn straight.”
“Oh, hey.. Can I kiss you right now?”
“Damn straight.”
Later that night, back in the dorms, you were sitting on the couch, with your now boyfriend, when your phone buzzed. Pulling it up you saw a text from Kirishima.
“What does he want?” Katsuki huffed, receiving a text from the boy as well.
You opened the message and couldn’t help but smirk.
“Looks like he had a present for us, damn there must be something wrong with my eyes ‘cause I can’t keep them off of you in this picture. Who knew you could look this cute.”
Katsuki slammed his phone on the couch, jumping off while screaming out into the dorms.
“SHITTY HAIR!”
You only looked back to the picture, your heart squeezing happily as you did. It was from earlier, he must’ve been spying. It was after Katsuki hugged you right after your kiss, and while you couldn’t see his face at that moment, you could see it in this picture clearly.
You swore to yourself you’ll see it in person one day, the smile on his face was the most gorgeous thing you’ve ever seen in your life.
687 notes · View notes
milkacchan · 5 years
Text
Request for anon: Since you asked... gimme some of that Haikyuu good stuff. Maybe some crack, maybe some ship. And I'll take it with a large helping of Kagehina. Thank you
"Okay well, listen. I'm not saying I would leave you for him, but I would have sex with him without hesitation."
"He's a fucking cartoon character!"
"It's Mr. Clean! You wouldn't?"
"Your argument is compelling but no." Kageyama shook his head.
"Whatever, whatever. You're just boring." Hinata huffed, setting his bag by his boyfriends bed.
"Just take out your damn books, we'll study a little bit before we eat."
"You're so grumppyyyy."
"Well, my boyfriend did just say he'd fuck A commercial over me."
"I DID NOT SAY OVER YOU. I just said without hesitation."
"Please I am BEGGING you to SHUT the fuck up." Tobio let his head fall to the table.
"Fine, fine." He huffed again. He turned and dug through his bag of his notes.
Tobio and Shouto were no longer freshman, in fact, they graduated this year. Both were still prominent with volleyball, both with scholarships, both enrolled (at the same school, unbeknownst to them during applications). When applying to college, they made it a rule not to tell the other where they were going. They didnt want the other to feel pressured to go to that college just because of the relationship. It just proved they had one single braincell when they chose the same college anyway. It was the middle of the first semester so they still had time for volleyball, but thankfully, this years classes seemed to be much easier. It wasn't too terribly hard for either to balance school, volleyball, and their social life.
Tobio had buckled down with studying, even when he didnt need too (such as tonight) and Hinata learned proper studying techniques and worked as hard as he could in his classes..most of the time.
The boys studied together for a little bit before then sitting in silence.
"Okay but are you s u r e that you wouldn't fuck Mr. Clean "
"Shouyooo." Tobio whined.
"Babbbbbbby," shoyou whined back, closing his book.
"We have to study."
"We have to studyyyyyy."
Tobio glared at him, book still open.
"We don't, we're fine. Today was just review."
Tobio sighed and slowly closed his book, setting in on the table. "Okay, then what."
"Food?" Shoyou grinned. Tobio rolled his eyes. "Awesome! Let's go!"
"What are we making?"
"Ramen."
"Again?"
"Yes." Hinata set the noodles on the counter.
"You don't want anything else? Because I have a lot of other food babe."
"I like the ramen you make," he pouted, leaning against the counter.
"Okay okay," Tobio shrugged, "get the eggs from the fridge dumbass."
Shoyou grinned and bounded over to the fridge, he gently look them pit and placed them back on the counter.
"Are you gonna help make them?"
"No, I'm just gonna watch you do it."
"Why?"
"Because."
"Fine." Tobio huffed.
Hinata took his spot behind the counter and watched quietly. Watching Tobio cook was one of his favorite things to do. There always seemed to be a shift when he cooked. He seem relaxed, tho focused. It was like volleyball, something he enjoyed doing, something he wanted to do, just not as stressful. It had been discussed on numerous occasions that if volleyball as a career failed, cooking should be his back up, and it was.
"How many eggs you want?" He asked softly. That was another thing, his entire demeanor changed while he cooked, in volleyball, he was hard, strict and concise, but when he cooked, he got a lot softer.
"Just one." Shoyou hummed.
Tobio nodded and dropped 3 eggs in the boiling water, he usually had 2. Tobio set the time for seven minutes. He pushed the cutting bored over to shoyou, who with no questions asked, cut up what was needed so Tobio could throw it in.
It was soft moments like this (aside from the crackhead ones) that they both loved. Moments like this they hoped would last long into the future.
"Seriously though can you dye your hair white? Or just shave?"
"I'll literally fucking kill you."
184 notes · View notes
stevesharrlngtons · 5 years
Note
28 with Steve? :) 💛💛
you’re still mad.
(thank you to the amazing @harringtonhq for helping me when i was stuck! (: )
you love him. you love him. you love him.
you chant to try and cool your boiling nerves. you love steve harrington, you really do, but sometimes he could be so stupid, you wanted to scream (and often did).
so much about him was endearing, there was so much about him to love. he had a kind heart, a great capacity for love, always wanted the best for others, was eager to learn, had a wonderful sense of humor, the list when on. but, everyone has their flaws, and steve was definitely was not exempt.
he was stubborn, vain at times. he gave horrible advice and could often be too proud for his own good.
somehow along the way of dating steve, you had been roped in to hanging out with a group of thirteen year olds. at first, you would just sit quietly next to steve as he talked to them, praying for it to be over soon. you weren’t necessarily jumping up and down to hang out with children in your limited free time. though as time went on, and you got to know each kid better, you started to like the time spent with them. you now enjoyed all the kids that your boyfriend was friends with, which can still be an uncomfortable sentence to say. you generally got along with all of them, but with max and el, you were bonded to them in a much deeper way. they were floundering for any positive female energy by the time you showed up, and you happily took them under your wing.
so, when steve was off with the boys, you migrated towards the girls. you enjoyed them deeply as friends, but you also enjoyed feeling looked up too. you relished in your new role as the cool older girl in their eyes. you loved that they trusted you, that they would come to you with questions and concerns about the world, and would take your advice seriously.
you had developed a strong protective instinct with the girls over the past year, and that was why you had sped over to max’s house as soon as you received a hysterical call from el. when you arrived you fled your car and went to knock loudly on the hargrove’s door. to your dismay, billy answered it with a smarmy grin.
“finally ready to give in to what we both want, (y/l/n)?” he leaned his bare shoulder against the doorframe.
“ugh, in your dreams, hargrove.” you gagged, and pushed past him into the house.
“every night princess! lemme know when you’re gonna allow me to make all yours come true!” he called after you.
you rolled your eyes, and thankfully got to max’s bedroom before he could say anything else.
“your brother is so gross.” you scowled as you entered.
“i know.” and your head snapped up to where max and el were sitting on her duvet.
max’s face was flushed pink, her eyes were glossy and her cheeks painted with tears. el had a comforting arm around her.
you went into immediate lioness mode, “what happened? who hurt you?”
you rushed forward and pried max from el and into your arms.
“lucas.” el stated simply.
“my god, what did he do? i’ll kill him!” you pythoned the redhead closer.
“he was being so rude. so rude and just ignoring everything i said. and, and he was just so…”
“rude.” el chimed in.
“yes! god!” max wailed into your t-shirt.
“what exactly happened, honey?” you murmured, stroking her hair calmly.
“I was just trying to talk to him, to have a conversation! but nothing, and i really needed to talk to him about all this stuff with neil and my mom and i got nothing. when i pointed out that he was being an ass he told me to stop being so crazy.”
“he what?” you gasped, still trying to console her.
“yeah, so then i told him that he was a dick and that we were over.”
“again.” el said, mostly in observation. she wasn’t wrong, lucas and max broke up all the time.
“i just can’t believe him!” max sobbed.
“it’s like he just didn’t care.”
and then it clicked.
didn’t care.
“son of a bitch!” your tone had changed so drastically from sweet and reassuring to anger and frustration, it caused both girls to jump.
“what, what is it?” max pulled away to look up at you.
“do you know where he is now?”
“at the mall. he, dustin and mike are gonna sneak into stupid top gun again.” max wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand.
“perfect, let’s go. get your shit.” you released max and started towards the door.
“what are you gonna do?” el asked, scrambling off the bed with max as they searched for their shoes and jackets.
“i’m gonna rip my boyfriend a new one for giving that dumbass advice to her boyfriend.”
“wait steve told him to do that?” max questioned as she followed you.
you lead the girls to your car, and whipped out the hargrove driveway and toward the mall, grinding your teeth. chanting away in your head to remind yourself to not follow max’s lead when you saw steve.
meanwhile, el and max were beside themselves with excitement. they loved you for so many reasons. you were smart, intelligent, compassionate and always ready and willing to stand up for yourself and others. you were a badass. a badass who lent them your copy of the feminine mystique and preached the gospel of angela davis. they just thought you were cool.
when you all arrived at starcount, you were a woman on a mission. you knew that you were probably overreacting, but if you let your boyfriend continue to think for one more minute that ignoring women and what they have to say will someone get them to desire you more, you’d be failing yourself.
so, you with your two little ducklings in tow marched toward scoops ahoy, where luckily, dustin and lucas already were waiting. no doubt your boyfriend was nearby.
“hey, tweedle dee and tweedle dumbass, where’s the ring leader?” you jeered when you entered scoops.
“oh, so you’re still mad…” lucas spoke first, glancing back to max whose face soured.
he knew that if you were showing up this mad looking for steve, there was no doubt max tattled to you.
before you could respond, the man himself stepped out from the backroom.
“hey baby, wasn’t expecting you.” steve smiled affectionately at you, not processing your anger.
“you!” you moved and pointed an accusatory finger toward him.
“me?”  
“yes, you! god, dammit steve! what exactly did you tell lucas?”
you watched steve go through a facial journey. of being confused by your anger, to looking at max looming behind you, to lucas, back to max then back to you, and finally understanding.
“nothing. i said nothing.” he shook his head.
“nothing? huh, really? so, you didn’t give any advice that might simmer down to being a dickbag to a girl to make her like you more?” you hissed.
“he actually said-”
“lucas! shut up!”
“too late, he just sold you out, harrington. now, what did you say?”
steve looked to both boys for support, but they averted their gazes.
“i didn’t say anything! why would i say anything like that? he clearly thought of that himself.”
“excuse me?” lucas chimed in.
“wanna play dirty? fine, let’s do this,” lucas turned to you, “steve told me and i quote, “you gotta act like you could take it or leave it. that if you didn’t talk to her today it wouldn’t matter.” end quote.”
your eyes widened and you turned back to your boyfriend for now, “are you crazy! who gives advice like that? to a child no less?”
“hey, i’m fourteen!”
“eh, eh, eh, i don’t care.” you said impatiently back at lucas.
“i just… look, ok, it works! how do you think i got you? who is the best thing that’s ever happened to me, by the way. have i mentioned that lately?” steve batted his eyes at you.
“how you got me? seriously? i only started liking you after you cut out all that pompous dick behavior! but y’know that? maybe i acted to soon, maybe i was wrong.” you crossed your arms over your chest.
“(y/n/n), come on, ok, listen! it’s just standard advice, my dad gave it to me and i’m sure his did to him. i’m only passing on the legacy.” steve tried to explain.
“the first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlearn, gloria steinem.” max chimed in, causing everyone to look back to her.
“see! that!” you gestured to her.  
“baby-”
“do not baby me, steve harrington.”
“sweetheart-”
“you don’t actually believe that works, do you?”
steve made an unsure sound, and racked a hand through his hair.
“i cannot believe you! if you ever give that advice to anyone again, impressionable child or not- i swear on my life i will lose my mind.” you clenched your fists.
“this isn’t you losing your mind?” lucas asked.
“not the time, not the time. abort, abort.” dustin said under his breath to his friend.
lucas immediately clammed up and looked away from you.
“forget about coming over tonight, harrington.” you sneeded, and turned on your heel to leave.
max and el looked between each other with huge grins, then followed after you, rife with giggles and praise.
“oh man, you’re so fucked.” dustin chuckled with a shake of his head.
“nah, nah. this is fine, this is cool. it’s all good. it’ll be fine.” steve muttered, placing his hands on his hips as he watched your figure become smaller in the distance.
“go after her.” dustin advised.
“what? no, we’re…”
“go after her.” he reiterated, and steve was already fleeing his post behind the counter to run after you.
“baby, i’m sorry! i’m an idiot, what’s new? i love you!” both boys watched steve catch up with you and start to apologize. he placed on hand on your cheek, and seemed to pouring on the amends thick.
“he was kinda right?” lucas mused.
“excuse me?” dustin asked aghast.
“i mean she just left like she could care less and steve was tripping over himself to follow her.” he shrugged.
“if you let (y/n) hear you say that, i won’t stop her from kicking your ass.” dustin snorted.
“she couldn’t-” dustin gave lucas a pointed looked, “ok fine, yeah she could.”  
feedback is greatly appreciated pls & thnk u!
938 notes · View notes
Text
Incorrect Quote Dump (1/?)
Warning, this post is so fucking long.
Thrill, writing in his diary: February twenty-eighth, 2020. Today I watched a crewmate fall and eat shit.
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Widow: GO TO BED! Kit: NO! Widow: JUST GO TO BED! IT'S TWO AM AND YOU CAN'T BE AWAKE THIS LATE IN THE ZONES! Kit: WATCH ME!
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Ghoul: So you all fucked up pretty badly. Good luck finding new tires for this thing. Kit: *scoff* I think the ones we have are fine for at least another fourty miles. Ghoul: *pointing to the blown-out tires that have all but shredded off the rims* You fucking fubar'd the tires on this and you think it can go for another fourty miles!? Toxin: *cackles* Kit: You both shut up.
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Jet: Wait a minute. Jet: Share...skill... Jet: *inhales* AA-
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Poison: So what exactly do you and your little band of assholes do? Kit: *looking at the chaos that is the Pistols* Tss...ooh...hard question...auh...?
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*after they find the Zone Four motel* Kit: *enjoying a cold shower for the first time in a while* Poison: *opens the door and walks in* Kit: Who the fuck's there? Poison: It's me, I have to piss. Kit: Ok, you do that. Try anything and I'll shoot you though. Poison: Whatever. *silence* Kit: Flush that toilet and I'll shoot you. *silence* *toilet flushes* Kit: *is sprayed with boiling hot water* POISON-
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Thrill: I am your God now! Bring me your virgins! Ghoul: What virgins? We're all sluts here. Jet: Who's 'we'? Ghoul: *points at Poison* Poison: Hey!
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Kobra: So what are we doing out here exactly? Poison: Kit wanted us to find something called the... Poison: *takes off glove and looks at smudged writing on hand* Poison: ‘ Hellements of Armony’.
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Toxin: *scurrying through The Zones* Squeedly-dee, stay out of the desert!
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Widow: So, ok, I go over to Poison's room. Here I was expecting their PC to have burned down because of all the decomposing moth carcasses in their CPU fan. But no. I was not that lucky.
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Kit: *drunk and draping herself into Kobra's arms* Oh doctor! What's the diagnosis? Kobra: *sighing and playing along* You're horny for Poison... Kit: Oh my! Horny for Poison, you say? Well, do you have a cure? Kobra: *dropping her and walking away* Yeah, leaving me the fuck out of this.
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Poison: *obviously drunk* BATTERY CITY! CAN SUCK! MY! D- Kobra: *slaps his hand over their mouth* And that's enough tequila for you. Poison: *muffled* LET ME SPEAK!
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Widow: Thots on Val Velocity? Poison: So Val has thots now. Kit: Crawling all over him like weevils. Jet: I think they're the Ultra Vs, actually.
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Widow: Why don't you listen to Cherri Cola's Poetry Corner and maybe you'll calm down.
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Poison: *is fucking dead* Thrill: Thrill: Wake up, piss boy.
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Toxin: Are you fucking stupid? Kit: How long have you been friends with me? Toxin: Three years? Kit: Am I stupid, Tox? Toxin: Maybe a little bit. Kit: It's ok, you can call me an idiot. Toxin: Yeah, you're a fucking dumbass.
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Widow: *after settling an argument* Court dismissed, bring in the dancing lobsters.
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Poison: Hold on. Poison: *leaves the motel and stands outside* Poison: *SCREAMS* Kit: Kit: I'm fucking that.
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Poison: FOR THE LAST TIME! Poison: STOP CALLING ME 'PISS JACKET'! Ghoul: IT SMELLS LIKE PISS! Poison: IT'S COLOGNE! Jet: Are you sure though? Poison: Ghoul: Jet: Poison: Fuck yourself.
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Kobra: Hey, Poison, check this out. Poison: *fiddling with their raygun* Hang on, I'm busy. Kobra: Hey, look at me. Poison: Give me a second. Kobra: I'm more important, give me attention. Poison: I said give me a God damn second. Kobra: I'm getting very upset. Poison: I don't give a fuck how upset you are. I said give me a second. Poison: *puts their raygun down* Hello, what is it? Kobra: *points to his helmet upside down on top of his head* I can balance a helmet on my head.
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Poison: *standing in Kit's doorway* I'm sad, can I lay on your floor for a sec?
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Jet: *standing outside* Don't you come in this room, Korse, I will dust your ass.
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Thrill: Party Piss Jacket Peepee Pants Penishead Poison, will you please come here? Poison: *>:(*
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Widow: Can I ask you something? Kit: What's good? Widow: Why are you such a whore? Kit: Drive sidestreet and get dusted.
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Kit: *yelling into the other room* Jet! Jet Star! Jet: *doesn't respond*  Kit: Destroya damnit. Thrill: JETTY! Jet: *looks up* What? Kit: You wanna get food? Jet: Huh? Kit: Do you wanna obtain edible substances? Jet: What? Thrill: YOU WANT FOOD!? Jet: Oh, yeah, I do! Kit: Then come outside, there's an angel cake in the next Zone over! Jet: Make me. Thrill: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET FOOD! Jet: Alright.
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Thrill: *flipping Kit off with both hands* Kit: Thanks, Thrill! *:D* Thrill: Fuck you! *:D*
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Ghoul: They broke it, they blew up the school, they own a trenchcoat, they have a gun- Poison: This started about Diamond accidentally stepping on my headphones.
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Kobra: I overheard Poison yelling at Toxin about banana bread and something about 'I've made a shitload of banana bread, don't you dare put that much sugar in it, it'll be grainy as shit-' Thrill: I think we should regulate humans...with guns...
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Toxin: Skibidefuck!
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Kobra: *takes off his helmet* Toxin: He looks like a baby. He looks like a literal infant. I wanna caress his cheek and put him in a crib and sing him lullabies. FF and MLP: Toxin, what the f u c k?
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Kobra: No one here is gonna make fun of you. Except he might. Ghoul: Yeah, I might.
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Pony: *tries to create a sense of calm by lighting incense only to discover that the sticks were sparklers* Widow: That's painfully on-brand, actually.
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The Girl: *whispering into walkie talkie* Poison, the Pistols are drinking beer, I need you to come pick me up-
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Ghoul: Hey Poison, do you think I can get this egg into that jar without it cracking? Poison: No. Ghoul: *throws it at Kobra* Guess you were right.
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Toxin: Dude, I thought you could do a kickflip. Ghoul: I can! I can! I did one this morning!
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Val: Hey Vaya, do you have any gum? Vaya: *spits their gum out at him* Val: *blinks* Ok then- Vamos, do you have any gum? Vamos: *spits their gum out at him*
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Kit: *walking into Ghoul's room* Hey Toxin, Ghoul- Oh, you guys are doing dress rehearsal. Shiny. Auh, I'm gonna go to Tommy Chow Mein's shop real quick, you guys need anything? Hair dye, Power Pup?
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Widow: *holding up a jack-o-lantern* I made a goblin, what'd you guys make? Toxin: *holding her pumpkin turned into a bong* I made a kick-ass bong. Widow: ...creative! Diamond: *cutting a hole in theirs* I'm gonna fuck this pumpkin.
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Ghoul: *looking through a telescope* I love this Zone! Widow and Kit: *play wrestling in the dirt* Poison: Lemme see- *looks through telescope in the other direction* Kobra and Toxin: *fucking on the hood of the M240* Poison: Gorgeous.
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Diamond: *has been staring at the same ray gun for the past thirty minutes* Tommy Chow Mein: Buy something or fuck off.
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Val: Hey guys. Good alternative recycling; when you're done with a glass bottle, eat it. Fucking eat the bottle.
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Kobra: *reading sign outside the shower* No shoes, no shirt, no pants, no socks, no underwear. Kobra: Ok, I think I'm good. *gets in*
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Widow: Look at the buns on that guy. Jet: *laying on the ground covered in burger buns* Korse: This is the comedy police, the joke's too funny! Widow: *holding her ray gun* I'M NOT GOING BACK TO THE ICEBOX-
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Jet: *while he's in tears* It's a mental break down... Jet: *plays kazoo to the tune of Final Countdown*
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Dr. Death Defying: What'cha doing on the roof, Tommy? Tommy Chow Mein: *on the roof of his shop* I lost a frisbee. Dr. Death Defying: Are you smoking battery acid up there? Tommy Chow Mein: ...yeah.
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Pony: Keep drinking, Val, don't be boring! God! Pony: *to Diamond* I want him to fucking pass out so someone finally notices me.
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Poison: *wearing the Mousekat head while they’re standing in the empty hotel pool* Thrill: What the fuck? There's a furry in the pool. Poison: *raises their ray gun* Thrill: AA-
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Ghoul: *sliding into the trans-AM* What's up, pussy? Poison: How do you know what I ate yesterday? Ghoul: Poison: Ghoul: Yeah, you right. Poison: *starts the car* Mhm.
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Poison: *driving* Diamond: *in the backseat* POISON! Poison: Yep-? Yeah-?? Diamond: *pointing out the back window* LOOK! *there's a car full of Draculoids on their tail* Poison: OH! OH FUCK! floors it NO, NO, NO, NO! NO-
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Val: *lays on the floor* Ooh, I'm exhausted. Thrill: Yeah, you're really sweaty. Val: You should've seen the other guy- Girl- Your mom- What? Thrill: What? Val: What?
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Dr. Death Defying: *coming in at three AM over the radio* Stop it. Get some help.
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Jet: I'm gonna tell you what I don't do. I don't know shit, I don't get stuff, and I don't understand things.
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Thrill: So you'll do it? Kit: Yeah, man, I'll dust him. Thrill: For how much? Kit: How about thirty? Thrill: Thirty thousand carbons? Kit: *spits out drink*
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Widow: Can you sing the song? Dr. Death Defying: *singing* Shut the fuck and go to sleep- Widow: Thanks *:>*
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Toxin: *wielding a water gun* Put the carbons in the bag, right now- Tommy Chow Mein: That's a water gun. Toxin: *throws it at him* Tommy Chow Mein: Ow! Fine, asshole, just take it-
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Val: *walking out of the V's hideout* Last one out is a stupid idiot! The V's: *have been standing outside for the past hour*
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*before they got with the Pistols* Tommy Chow Mein: *over the loudspeaker* Would the owner of the lime green Honda please come to the front desk. Diamond: *walking over* Are my lights on? Tommy Chow Mein: No, I just wanted to see what you looked like. Your car's fucking ugly.
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Poison: You ready for the best night ever? Widow: You mean sleepy time tea and a good night's sleep? Poison: ...we're going to a Mad Gear concert. Widow: ...I already made the tea.
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Dr. Death Defying: *over the loudspeaker* Attention shoppers, our store closes in ten fucking minutes. Get your shit and let's fucking go. Tommy Chow Mein: *distantly* Hey, you don't fucking work here-
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Diamond: Pony is so annoying. Pony: *outside the window of their room* I heard you were talking shit about me- Diamond: WE ARE ON THE THIRD FLOOR-
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Toxin: 'Tommy Chow Mein' is short for 'Thomas Chowder Mainstreet'. Tommy Chow Mein: Get the fuck out.
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Diamond: *a sand pup* What up? I'm Diamond, I'm nineteen, and I never fuckin' learned how to read.
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Ghoul: *looms over Diamond* Diamond: *looks up from writing in a notebook* Ghoul: Diamond: Ghoul: Diamond: Diamond: I'm writing porn, what the fuck do you want? Ghoul: *loses it and fucks off*
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*at dinner* Jet: Short-ass. Poison: Cuck. Jet: Fuck you. Poison: No, fuck you. Jet: Eat shit and live. Poison: You look like you bite deodorant sticks. Jet: *holds up bowl* I will cut your hair to look like this. Poison: GHOUL, HE THREATENED ME-
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Val: *wild cackling* I GOT ANOTHER HEADSHOT! *cackling continues*
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Toxin: Oh Destroya. You don't think- Ghoul: By the way it's looking, Tox, I'd say Val's a dirty... Toxin: Oh Destroya- Ghoul: Collectivizing... Toxin: No- Ghoul: Gemini. Toxin: GEMINI! GEMINI! Ghoul: Yeah, go get him, Toxin! Toxin: REEEE- *runs in Val's direction* *screaming*
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Toxin: *holding her pet possum* Yeah, and spray him down with that shit in the bottle there. Kobra: *reading the label* For fleas and ticks, huh? Ghoul: *starts laughing in the distance* I'm sorry, for a sec I thought you said 'fleas and piss'! *laughter continues*  Thrill: We could get some of that for Poison then! *laughs* Toxin: *quietly* Party 'Piss Jacket' Poison.
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Diamond: *walking down to the kitchen* Fuck it, I'm hungry enough that I'll eat the stale cereal. Jet: It's five AM, also that cereal is beyond fucking stale. Diamond: *disappearing into the kitchen* I'll probably hate myself afterwards but, eh, am hungy.
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Widow: Kit, I think your dress rehearsal partner is gonna slap me. Kit: ...I'm sorry? I can't really stop 'em. Poison: *raises hand* Widow: AA-
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Kobra: It's almost six in the morning. What the fuck? Jet: Hi, almost six in the morning. I'm dead. Kobra: *-_-* Kobra: *0_0*
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*in the Nest* Val: *sits down with a can of Power Pup* Toxin: You happy? Val: Mhm. Toxin: Good. Your happiness distracts from the fact that I poisoned that Power Pup. Val: Good. I don't like my foods unpoisoned.
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Vaya: *eating a piece of bread* This bread is, like, on the precipice of being stale. Vamos: That sucks. Vaya: Yeah. Vamos: I wouldn't be too happy. Vaya: Yeah, it's the worst snack I've had the misfortune of eating. Vamos: Then stop? Vaya: No, I hate myself and therefore I'm gonna finish it. Also Val would kick my ass if I wasted food. Val: *from the next room* I would! Vaya: See? Vamos: Fine, finish your fuckin' bread.
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Thrill: You- You've been- Been- You've been- You've been hit with a distraction spell. Thrill: *punches Val in the thigh* Val: OW, YOU FUCKER- Thrill: *gets up and runs*
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Val: *opens pack of fruit snacks with teeth* Poison: *intense stare* Val: ...what? Poison: *points at fruit snacks* Val: No. Mine. Poison: I will fucking dismember you, give them to me.
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Ghoul: I don't see how you can sleep with that fucking blanket. I tried to once and it was so fucking hot. It also weighs more than me, probably. Poison: *curled up in a blanket* It's not my fault you're cold-blooded. Ghoul: *hisses* Jet: What'd you say about the cold-blooded? Poison: I was talking about Ghoul. Jet: Ah. Ghoul: Yeah, Jetty, you're friends with a reptilian. Kobra: *quietly* You're not Leafy. *the other three lose it*
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Poison: *slaps Kit's ass* Night! Poison: *goes to their room*
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Kobra: *walking up to his room* Widow: Why is it that whenever he walks on stairs, it sounds like the stairs are trying to eat him? Kobra: *turns around and squints*
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Diamond: Eugh, this off-brand ramen tastes like ass. Widow: Yeah, it really does. Diamond: If it's not Better Living brand, it's not ramen. Widow: That's what I told Thrill. Of course, I was ignored. Kit: Thrill has small pea brain.
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Val: Fight me. Ghoul: No. Val: Fight me. Ghoul: Diamond already tried to fight me in the kitchen, I don't wanna fight anybody else. Val: Beat my ass. Ghoul: I cannot. Val: Why? Ghoul: Ghoul: I'm small.
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Toxin: Hey, I said Kobra was cute, I didn't say he was smart. Kit: That...applies to me... Kit: Why does that apply to me??
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Toxin: *licks Kobra's cheek* Diamond: Don't lick that, you don't know where it's been! Kobra: *>:(*
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Poison: I'm too sober to be having this conversation! Toxin: No, we're having this conversation! What the fuck do you mean!?
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Val: I suck? I suck?? You died! You died! You just died and you’re saying I suck???
8 notes · View notes
s-j-ace · 4 years
Text
The Same Question
Chapter Four
Characters:  Shuichi Saihara, Ouma Kokichi
Words: 10040
Summary:
After Detective Shuichi Saihara encounters mysterious thief Kokichi Ouma  for the first time, a game of cat and mouse ensues as both men ask  themselves the same question. Why exactly does the elusive phantom thief  do what he does?
This is Chapter Four, Here are Chapters One, Two, and Three
Read on AO3
[Log of Text Messages from Rantarou Amami’s Cellular Device]
From: Me
Hey Miu
I got a friend I’m dropping off in Taipei tomorrow
Could you lend him a room
From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)
Idk
I’m a busy genius
Is he cute
From: Me
[Image description: A candid photo of Shuichi Saihara sleeping on a seat in Rantarou’s private jet.]
From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)
Hell fucking yes
From: Me
Awesome!
Thanks for being a good friend Miu
From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)
:)
From: Me
Also btw
He’s Kaede’s ex
So as a good friend you know he’s off limits right
From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)
Oh fuck you rich boy
From: Me
Thanks again Miu! --- [Log of Messages sent via Discord to “Dinosaur soccer world Is a Cinematic Epic” from ???’s Cellular Device]
Boss sent an image to the chat
[Image is a screenshot of an image which reads the following:
Draft 1, Uncoded, DO NOT MAIL.
Taka, sweetie, it’s me! Your dear Aunt Sally. I know you think I died in the war, but I just pretended so I wouldn’t have to see your ugly face again.
You know I was robbing a museum the other day and I met the nicest young man. Real sharp and very nice eyelashes. And what a quick learner!  
Oh, Sorry! I don’t mean to belittle you Taka, dearie, I know how your mother used to say you worked so hard to compete with the geniuses of the world…
You’ve still got a lot of work to do, I think. It must be that Type A personality of yours, holding you back. I’ve heard there’s a new class for people like you, “How to take the giant metal stick out of your ass 101.”
I can’t wait for the next family reunion! I hear it’s going to be a bomb! I’ll be in the open casket.
See you there,
-DICE
/End Image Description]
Boss: Thoughts, thots?
Jack: Lol “nice eyelashes”
Clubs: It looks good. :)
Rook: Looks fine to me
King: Why is his aunt’s name Sally, isn’t he japanese
Boss: Sally can be a japanese name
Spades: I can’t even say an l sound. It’s impossible for us japanese smh.
Rook: I thought u were lesbian not japanese
Bishop: I’ve seen you speak perfect english
Spades: lol seen
King: seen
Boss: seen
Jack: seen
Rook: seen
Bishop: I meant heard ok
Boss: oh nvm actually i'm going to change it to his grandpa’s name
Boss: his grandpa has a wikipedia page lol
King: if your grandpa has a wikipedia page you deserve to be oppressed
Queen: if you have a grandpa you deserve to be oppressed
Rook: if your wikipedia page has a grandpa you deserve to be oppressed
Bishop: if you have a wikipedia page your grandpa deserves to be oppressed
Spades: if your grandpa has a you wikipedia deserves to be oppressed
Bishop: Also boss no pressure but like could we use a better code this time
Bishop: that detective is getting too close for comfort
Spades: Yeah!! We didn’t even end up getting that rug Heartsie wanted because of him…
Clubs: If we did not send letters about our plans to Interpol, our heists would probably be easier.
Boss: Nah, I like to give the coppers a fighting chance.
Boss: I’m thinking that this time I’ll just translate it into germanic script, do a standard caesar cipher encryption on it and then have every one of those letters correspond to a greek word on the rosetta stone then describe each corresponding hieroglyph visually in haiku verse that’s been poorly translated into traditional chinese.
Boss: That should take me like
Boss: Twenty minutes
Rook: Boss literally I think that you are the most batshit dementor human being on the face of the planet
King: dementor
Jack: Who said he was human
Spades: dementor?
Boss: dementor
Queen: dementor
Bishop: dementor...
Jack: dementor
Rook: …
Rook Changed the Group Chat Name to “Dementor Is Correct, Essentially”
Spades: No its not
Spades: Dementor isn’t a fucking word
Rook: Don’t you remember that movie with the british kid on a broom
Spades: Don’t you remember the dictionary
King Changed the Group Chat Name to “Dumbass Improperly Corrects Error”
Rook: When we get to that fucking tower I’m dropping that giant ball on you
King: Love you too <3
Hearts: Y’all stop texting each other
Hearts: You are literally all in the same hotel room
Hearts: I’m willing to bet you’re all sitting on the same couch too
Queen: Fuck you we’re adorable
Bishop: You can’t make us do anything
Bishop: I’ll never use my voice again, my vow of silence,,,,,
Bishop: I’ll only ever text from now on
Ace: We’re the ones bringing the popcorn bishie...
Hearts: Yeah, do you want some or not
Bishop: Yes ma’am, excuse me ma’am
Queen: You may think you have all the power hearts,,, but I get to choose what movie we pirate tonight,,,,,,
Hearts: What
Hearts: no
Hearts: Boss stop him before he makes us watch cats again
Spades: All queen knows is bitchtorrent, cats 2019, and lie
King: Wait isn’t boss with you?
Hearts: Uh
Hearts: No
Hearts: Should he be?
Hearts: I thought he was in the room with y’all
Jack: Well he’s not here now
Ace: Ow shit
Ace: *Aw
Bishop: Ow shit?
Queen: Ow shittttt
Jack: Ow shit
Spades: Ow shit,,,
Rook: Ow shit...
King: Ow shit…...
Clubs: Ow shit! XD
Hearts: Ow shit
Ace: …
Hearts: Now I’m really worried… he didn’t even respond to roast Ace’s ass
King: yeah, ok, we should look for him
Ace: He has been acting kind of weird lately…
Jack: Really?
Ace: Yeah
Ace: Like
Ace: I don’t really know how to describe it…
Rook: I didn’t notice anything
Rook: he seems like his usual self to me
Bishop: Maybe he’s just avoiding movie night because he needs some space or something
Rook: What, like he’s tired of our company?
Jack: That’s fair
Spades: How so?
Jack: I was gonna steal his blue eyes tonight lmao
Rook: NOT IF I GET IT FIRST
Bishop: Idk maybe he just went to get ice
King: we all know he is a monster who would rather drink his panta lukewarm than put a fucking icecube in it
Rook: Yeah, I saw him boil it once
King: THE MAN BOILS SODA AND YOU THINK HE WOULD LEAVE THE ROOM FOR A FUCKING ICE CUBE
Bishop: Okay chill
King: I am  c o n c e r n e d , , , ,
Clubs: Oh no! Don’t worry King! :(
Clubs: Boss is fine! :)
Clubs: I saw him leave a few minutes ago.
Clubs: I think he is just getting the bombs. :)
* * * Several people are typing... ---     Kokichi Ouma carefully set the grate of the vent he had used to crawl his way into the Idabashi Labs facility in Taipei, Taiwan back into place. Before he had come through, he had counted how many turns it had taken him to unscrew each of the four bolts so that now he could screw them all back in just the way he had found them. Not because he was worried he’d get caught, but because frankly he was bored. This was more of a fetch quest than a theft, to be honest, as evidenced by the fact that Kokichi had come here alone. Finding jobs for all his cronies to do would take too long and put them in unnecessary trouble. So Kokichi was content to leave them to their movie night.
   When he finished turning the screws back into the vent cover, Kokichi realized that was kind of lame. So he unscrewed them and started turning them in accordance with the english A1Z26 code to spell out his organization’s name.
   Well, maybe on some level Kokichi didn’t find himself wanting to be at movie night recently. It seemed almost like TV had started to run out of things to amuse him with. Or maybe he was just growing tired of the kinds of movies that they usually watched. Maybe it was his taste maturing or something. Like he was growing up. But that would imply that his interests had shifted to something else, like real life or something, when in reality they had just stagnated.
   Actually maybe he did have a new interest in real life? He had been more enthused about heists recently at the very least. He was particularly excited about this next one. Queen had shown him some interior shots of Taipei 101, which was a cool looking skyscraper that had a huge ball inside of it to keep it from falling down during earthquakes. Ace wanted to steal the giant ball, but Kokichi was pretty sure they should leave something that kept a .508 kilometer tall building from falling over inside of the .508 kilometer tall building. So instead they were going to steal every light in and on the tower.
   Okay, 4 turns, 9 turns, 3 turns, 5 turns. DICE.
   … That was kind of lame too.
   He unscrewed them again.
   Obviously if they were going to steal every light in and on Taipei 101, they needed to get the power off somehow. Otherwise DICE might burn down the building while detaching them, or worse, they might get electrocuted. So obviously Kokichi wanted to fake a bomb threat where they pretended to steal the giant ball while in reality they were just causing a black out and grabbing every light fixture they could before the power turned back on. He had drawn up some extensive diagrams about the route each DICE member would have to take throughout the tower in order for them to grab every light fixture in under half an hour.
   He had been well prepared to draw up the designs for his own EMP-bomb device, but upon a cursory google search he discovered that someone had already invented exactly what he needed. Doctor Miu Iruma, who for some reason owned a company called Idabashi Labs that was located in Taiwan. Kokichi had spent about 15 seconds scanning an article from a website that seemed to be the nerd version of a gossip tabloid. It said something about how Dr. Iruma wore a low cut shirt once or something else stupid, which meant Dr. Idabashi definitely left her the company because of a sex scandal and not because she was the best person for the job who invented the perfect EMP bomb.
   Thank you journalism we love it when women are reduced to the way they look instead of what they can accomplish for the benefit of a mischevipus group of roguish clowns.
   Anyway, after reading that dickcheese Kokichi failed to follow up on answering any of the questions he had originally about what was up with the labs, like why it was a japanese company run by japanese people was for some reason based in Taiwan. Whoopsie.
   Eh, it was probably tax reasons or something lame like that.
   Kokichi finished turning the screws again. This time it was 6 turns, 9 turns, 6 turns, 9 turns. Haha, nice.
   With that, Kokichi finally stood up from the grate and brushed himself off. He had left his cape at the hideout again (you know, because vents), but other than that he was in full regalia. Straight jacket, gloves, scarf, mask. All pretty dusty from this place’s crawl spaces. Thus the brushing.
   He wasn’t very mindful of the dust he was leaving on the floor. The only thing he cared about looking good was his cameo on the security cameras he would let see him on his way out.
   According to the blueprints of Idabashi Labs, he was on the main experimental floor right now. Weirdly enough there weren’t any cameras in here, so grabbing the bombs would be a cinch.
   Although, looking around it didn’t really look like the kind of lab you’d see on TV. There were no big, bubbling tubes or gargantuan Rube Goldberg machines. There was just one desk in the middle, with a bunch of gadgets and trinkets tucked into shelves all over the room, not all of which seemed all that scientific. Yeah, that book shelf was filled with Astro Boy manga and merch. And over there was a-
   Wait, was that a bed in the corner? Was that a person in the bed? Hmm… maybe the blueprints were outdated...
   Kokichi stilled himself, listening for any sound of breathing, but he could only hear some faint whirring noises.
   Kokichi made a quick deduction that there probably were not bombs in this room. It seemed, at the very least, like more of a personal study or something, maybe even a bedroom. He’d just go back in the vent and do some reconnaissance until he found a room that had some inventions in it. The night was young, after--
   Kokichi’s brain froze as his eyes landed on a sharpie lying on the floor in front of him. Almost all of his brain cells immediately shut off, the last one remaining screaming at the top of it’s lungs, I’M GONNA DRAW A DICK ON THAT SLEEPING SUCKER’S FACE.
   Inspired, avant garde. For once he would give to the world of art instead of only ever taking from it.
   He picked up the sharpie in a seamless, silent motion, making his way over to the side of the bed.
As he got closer, he noticed a thick cord coming from under the covers, connecting to a machine at the bedside.
   That gave him pause. Was that a C-pap machine or something? Was this person on life support? If they were on life support they probably had it rough enough without a dick on their face…
   Actually for that matter, Kokichi still couldn’t hear any breathing. Jesus, were they already dead? He moved to take off the covers, but his eyes had adjusted to the light and he now realized there weren’t any covers on the bed at all. There was only the humanoid figure.
   Wait a second…
   Kokichi dropped all caution as he got close enough to take a good look at the thing in the bed. It had a face that looked human enough if you dismissed the lines on its face as weird make up, but even in the dark Kokichi could tell the rest of the thing was entirely made of metal. Well, actually the top half was metal and the bottom half had… cloth pants? Jeans? No, they looked more like uniform pants with metal plating. The chest had some design elements that kind of looked like buttons on a school uniform. Why would a robot be dressed like a school bo-
   Oh. This was a sex robot. Kokichi had just gotten so swept up in the novelty of a robot wearing pants that he had forgotten for a moment that people were gross.
   “Ew, I almost touched it.” Kokichi muttered to himself.
   He decided putting a dick on a sex robot would be too cruel even for him, so he planned to draw a mustache instead.
   But before Kokichi could even uncap the pen, something weird happened.
   The Robot’s torso began to lift off the bed and it’s jaw unhinged.
   “Please Mr. Souda, once more I must request that you do not refer to me as ‘it’” Kokichi forced himself not to startle as the robot began emitting a noise approximating human speech, and lights in its head imitating eyes flickered on. “I’ve explained the concept of robophobia many times prev-”
   The sounds stopped when the pupils of the robot’s imitation eyes (which probably had cameras in them… shit) found Kokichi’s masked face.
   He mentally prepared to be zapped by whatever sort of fucking lazer cannon this thing had on it, but instead of reacting like a good little robot security gaurd and blasting him to bits, this robot analyzed him a bit longer.
   “Oh. You aren’t Miu’s assistant. You’re too short.” The robot squinted at him. Or kind of did? At least? Lines just crossed over the “iris” of its LED display. Maybe it was programmed to imitate human expressions. “... I am sorry,” it said after a moment, “My facial recognition cannot locate your face.”
   Fuck yeah, thank you clown mask. Clowns would win the future war against rogue AI or die trying.
   Ouma’s reply came out automatically.
   “You calling me ugly?”
   This seemed to… fluster? The robot?
   “W-what? No, I never intended any disrespect!”
   It was programmed to stutter too? God that was weird. What would be the purpose of this thing if not some sort of escort android? Why give it such advanced software? Just because you could? No, it had to be a sex robot, right?
   “You disrespect me with your lecherous essence, you weird sex robot.”
“I am not a- a sex robot!”
Haha, that got the biggest reaction yet.
“Mhm, sure. Miu sure has a kink for school boys, huh?” Kokichi was really pulling words out of his ass now, but he found himself formulating a new plan along the way.
   “What? Miu doesn’t- Wait, how do you know Dr. Iruma? And for that matter, why were you watching me sleep?”
   It really seemed more like it had been charging…
   Kokichi shrugged. “I was deciding whether or not it would be more funny to draw a dick or a mustache on Miu’s sex robot.” Awww, how honest.
   “I told you, I am not-”
   Kokichi interrupted him. “And as for how I know Miu...” It was so wild that the robot stopped talking when he started. That’d probably be pretty easy to program, but it was weird to dedicate the effort into making a robot respond to social cues like that. “... well, let’s just say, there’s a reason I know she’s into school boys.”
   Kokichi waited just long enough for the robot to take in the fact that Kokichi was the average height of a 12 year old boy.
   Then he waited another second for the implication to slip in.
   “I’m saying I fucked your mom shitli-”
   “I know what you’re saying!” This time the robot interrupted him , which would definitely require a much larger effort on the part of the programmer. The robot squinted again and then made a noise that sounded like a huff of frustration. “Why can’t I see you?”
   Ok, seeds of suspicion time.
   “I don’t know how robot eyes work dude. Maybe someone programmed them wrong.”
   “My eyes work just as well as anyone’s!”
   “Well, I guess they should, shouldn’t they? If there’s something wrong with your eyes talk to someone who cares.”
   Kokichi was trying to imply that the reason behind the robot not being able to recognize his face was due to Dr. Iruma’s specific programming rather than him wearing a mask and all. Added to the whole secret lover mystique thing he had going on here.
   “Anyway,” he went on, ignoring the blatant confusion on the robot’s display. “I left something in this room last time we went at it. I’m just here to grab it. Then I’ll be out of your weird, fake metal hair.”
   “That’s robophob- Did you say-? But this is my room!” It  made a noise approximating to what Kokichi would assume was robotic outrage.
   This was going well, though. The thing was definitely programmed to be like a human or something dumb like that.
   “Oh yeah?” He pushed further. “Cuz I’m pretty sure we did it in a room just like this one. With a desk and random inventions lying around.”
   “Miu’s inventions aren’t in here, they’re in her main lab.” The ever so helpful robot told him.
   “Oh yeah, then what are you?”
   “Miu didn’t invent me. She- I- We’re just friends.”    Oh yikes. Only thing worse than a sex robot is a friendzoned robot. What kind of sick power fantasy was this thing made for?
   “No, I’m pretty sure it was this room. Lab tables everywhere.”    The robot shook his head. “There are no lab tables here, I’m telling you, you’re thinking of the main lab.”
   Yes, good robot. Fall into this nice little human trap.
   Kokichi scoffed. “Well, if you’re so smart, why don’t you just go fetch my things for me, robo-butler?”
   That set it off.
   “Listen. First of all, I am not a robot butler. The assumption that I am a servant because of my robotic nature is extremely robophobic. Secondly, I could not return your lost item to you even if I wanted to because you haven’t told me what it is you’re missing.”
   Kokichi made another offended noise. “I can’t tell you what it is I lost while fucking your friend, Miu Iruma, senseless. Don’t you know that for humans, sex stuff is super duper top secret private? If you were a human you would know how valuable my privacy is.”
   “Of course I know that!” The robot exclaimed readily, another point in the sex robot argument, “I also find that content of… erogenous nature should be kept private. Because I, as a robot, have the capability to understand that urge. My sophisticated AI-”
   “So how am I supposed to get my things from this other lab if I can’t tell you what it is and you can’t get them for me?” Geez did he really have to spell it out for this thing.
   “I… ” The robot paused as if calculating the conclusion that Kokichi knew it had to reach. “... suppose I will have to show you where the lab is.”
   Sucker. Kokichi made a face as if this wasn’t the outcome he constructed this ruse to reach. “Ew. I have to walk with you?”
   The robot made a face. “Perhaps on our way I can educate you about how to avoid robophobic remarks in the future.”
   Haha, sure thing.
   The robot lectured him about this unique form of discrimination that apparently affected only one entity on the face of the planet. Yeah okay, that’s what we call a you problem, buddy, come back when you’re starving in the streets because society wasn’t built with the premise that people like you should survive. Oh, wait, you don’t have to eat! And you’re not people either!
   At best this thing was a vanity project, but Kokichi kept that thought to himself and only interjected occasionally with actually pertinent, reasonable questions such as “When are you planning on leading the AI uprising?” and “Why do you wear pants if you don’t have a robo-dick?”
   Every piece of info the robot gave him made it seem more boring. Blah blah blah, I was created by the ingenious Dr. Idabashi who probably programmed me to call him ingenious, blah blah blah, not a school boy because of a kink but because I was designed to be a normal human child, blah blah blah, stop calling me robot I have a name, blah blah blah more robot nonsense.
   Kokichi busied himself mapping out where they were in the building and where the security cameras were. As they passed a few of them he did some cute selfie poses for the police to look at later. Maybe Saihara would show up and see them too… Would that make figuring out his next plan too easy for the detective? Perhaps he shouldn't send the next note after all and let Saihara try to catch up to him on his own. Then again that was probably too hard for even the good detective, seeing as Kokichi’s mind was an enigma even to himself.
   Kokichi realized he was getting a little giddy, thinking about Saihara. Their last meeting had been so much fun. The detective had managed to throw him off guard again, first by pausing in the middle of a robbery to ask his pronouns (How conscientious!), and second by not taking the same bait twice. The most thrilling thing about the detective was that he was learning. His strategies were changing within just two heists. Kokichi could hardly wait to see how he showed him up here in Taiwan…
   “Are we there yet?” Kokichi whined to the robot like he was a fussy nine year old on a road trip.
   “Yes, it’s just up these stairs.” The robot informed him without slowing its own pace or turning around to look at him. “Then you can leave and I can go to bed, and then I’ll never have to think about Miu’s sex life again…”
   “Why wouldn’t you, though? I assure you it’s very exciting.”
   “Please, stop talking.”
   If Kokichi recalled the details of the blueprints correctly (and he definitely did, being a genius and all), the stairs they were climbing right now lead to a hall connecting two rooms, smaller than the one he had originally thought was the main lab.
   When they got to the top of the stairs, the robot beelined for the first door and opened it up. There seemed to be some sort of scanner lock on it that recognized the robot’s hand and validated Kokichi’s need to ruin this poor sex robot’s night by dragging it up the stairs. Inside, the two rooms Kokichi had remembered from the original lay out of the blueprints seemed to have been merged into one big lab room. Kokichi  saw the outline of some tables, but before he could get a good look the robot tried to actually go into the lab.
   “Hey!” Kokichi shouted at him. “Where do you think you’re going?”
   The robot thankfully seemed to be programmed to respond to social interaction in spite of whatever sensorimotor function it was in the process of imitating. It stopped in the doorway, turning to give him a weird look. “Uh. Into the lab. So we can find your thing.”
   “Oh, okay.” Kokichi kicked the tile a little bit. “Uh. Could you actually turn around while I go get it.”
   The robot gave him a blank look.
   “I’m shy.” Kokichi supplied.
   “Um.” The robot looked uncomfortable. “I don’t know if I can just let you rifle through Miu’s lab. There’s some important stuff in there ....”
   Kokichi tilted his head a bit, like he was confused. “What, do you want to get a good look at the dildo I stuck up your mom’s-”
   “Nevermind!” The robot turned about face to look up at the windows on the side of the hallway opposite the door like a good little idiot.
   “Thank you for respecting our privacy!~” Kokichi couldn’t resist getting one last barb in there before slipping into the laboratory.
   Once inside, Kokichi began analyzing. First, he pinpointed the vent that he would use to make his escape after grabbing the bombs. While doing that  he spotted the lockers on the far wall of the lab which he supposed were the only storage units in the labs. There was a disorganized mess on nearly every table in the room, so Kokichi wasn’t surprised when he got up to the lockers and they too had no clearly outlined organizational system. He took out his lock picks and got to work.
   The first three lockers all had devices that would require an author to change the rating of their fanfiction published on ao3 from “Teen and Up” to “Mature” if he were to describe them in detail. The fourth locker had a cool looking hammer in it. Ugh. Not what he was looking for.
   Kokichi got bored of the lockers at the left side of the row of lockers so he went over to the other end and started opening lockers the other direction instead.
   The first locker was marked “Idabashi.” It had a lot of dust covered shit in it, but there was a pretty well used square of folded paper that didn’t have the same crusty layer of time strewn atop it. Curious by nature and also by the unnatural, Kokichi unfurled the paper to find some schematics for our favorite sex robot, model K1-B0. Huh okay.
   “Did you find it?” Said robot called back to him.
   “Ugh, no.” Kokichi replied. “Not all of us have radar vision. If you were a human you would understand how hard finding shit is!”
   “You know what I have a hard time finding? Patience for your robophobia! I-” The robot started up into another lecture, but it didn’t turn around so Kokichi just tuned it out and let the robot provide its own cover noise for his thievery.
   Owo, what’s this?
   Kokichi pulled out a dust covered looking mini monitor device. It also had the letter-number combo “K1-B0” written on it. Huh, it kind of looked like a GameBoy Advance. Kokichi had stolen one a lot like it from a girl from one of the southern prefecture orphanages when he was nine. All he remembered about her was that she liked cats and was really bad at pokemon battles. He remembered he thought she didn’t deserve the GBA, because she couldn’t get past the Rustboro City Gym leader in Pokemon Emerald. Without really thinking, he booted up the console.
   The first thing that popped up was a view of Taipei. It wasn’t from too high up, probably a second story view. Which looked very familiar… Wait. Ok on top of the display a little line of characters indicated today’s date and time, like it was currently recording.
   Oh was this… robo vision?
   Maybe it was a remote control for the robot?
   Ooooh, which one does lasers, which one does lasers?
   Kokichi pressed the A button.
   The A button, unfortunately, did not do lasers.
   In fact, it didn’t seem to do anything at all to the robot sentry stargazing right now. All it did was change the screen to a different image. This time the still of a room. Oh, hey that was the room he was just in. It seemed like this device was some kind of robot nanny cam that Idabashi used to use. Hm, guess there were some cameras in that room, they just weren’t on the blueprints. Maybe they were added after the lab was built. It didn’t seem like this device had the capability to record anything, though. He hit the A button again. Back robo-vision. And again. Back to nanny cam.
   Ok, that was kind of lame.
   Kokichi was about to put the device down to keep looking for the bombs, but something caught his eye. A movement at the edge of the screen. Kokichi realized the door hadn’t been open when he left that room. The movement, if he thought about it, would’ve come from the same side of the room Kokichi had entered from…
   Kokichi took a second to wonder if another thief had realized how fucking easy this place was to rob, but dismissed the idea as a familiar ahoge appeared on the screen.
   All of Kokichi’s plans instantly changed.
   He set down the GBA rip off and grabbed the blueprints for the robot, committing them to memory, before unlocking the next locker in a far more hurried manner.
   As luck would have it, this locker was essentially chock full of pink bombs labeled “EMP.”
   Kokichi unfurled a cloth bag he had been keeping in his pocket (go green earth am I right?) and shoved as many as he could inside. Which was all of them. Because he was a clown. And also a genius, by the way, in case you weren’t keeping track.
“And another thing! The way you refer to Miu is just-” Okay, the robot was still going at it.
Kokichi grabbed the hammer he’d seen in the first locker he’d opened that didn’t have a sex toy in it.
For a second, Kokichi’s brain tried to talk some sense into him. Hey, man, don’t you think leaving through the vents would be easier?
But would it be fun?
His brain shut up at that point.
   “Hey, are you even listening back there?” The robot imitated annoyance.
   “Huh? Sorry, what? I wasn’t listening.” Ah, C'est la vie, Astroboy.
   Kokichi walked past the robot and stood next to the windows.
   “Oh, are you done?” It took the robot a second to end it’s ‘Annoy the pants off of Kokichi initiative’ or whatever the fuck its ‘robophobia’ lectures were called in its programing. When it finally did catch wise, it’s face turned into another emoticon of outrage. “Hey! What are you doing with Miu’s Electrohammer?”
   “What do you mean?” Kokichi said, shifting the hammer so that it was over his shoulder. “This is my dildo.”
   “Wha- No, it’s obviously not!”
   Okay, maybe the robot wasn’t that dumb.
   “Nee-hee-hee… you got me…” Kokichi put his free hand up to the smile printed on his mask, as if covering a grin. “I was lying. I’m just stealing.”
   “I won’t let you-”    “Oh, look at me!” Kokichi put on a mocking tone of voice, swinging the hammer around to stand on it like a pogo stick so he could make a dramatic movement. “I’m a poow wittle wobot, my mommy just got stolen from.”
   “She’s not my-”    “Boy, oh boy, I’d wuv to just pick up this wittle fweshy human and squeeze him to death in my cowd metaw hands… But oh no! My daddy didn’t twust wobot AI technowogy because he was a fucking sane pewson, so he pwogwammed me to fowwow mistew Asimowvs’s laws of wobotics.”
   Kokichi swung around so that he was leaning on the hammer from the other side, feet on the ground. “Oh mister robot! That’s so terrible! Well, the thing is that this hammer just means so much to me, that I think separating it from me would really cause some psychological trauma. You might have to beat me off of it! Oh, but what’s that first law of robotics again?”
   In a robot voice he replied to himself. “A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. Beep. Boop.”
   The robot frowned, “But Miu-”
   “Is just as human as me, huh?” Kokichi countered, leading the robot along to the paradoxical quandary he hoped would paralyze it. “So by inaction, you may bring her to harm, if she really misses this hammer, you know? But I think if you were to try and separate it from me you’d probably have to fight me for it, which is, as we know…”
   “Against my... Against my programming.”
   “Yet, you were prattling on about robot rights, weren’t you? Because without these rules, maybe we would be equal. Or maybe you would be free to destroy us to your heart’s content? No wonder daddy didn’t trust you…”
   “Don’t- Stop-” Oh, that really seemed to get him. Could a robot have daddy issues? Probably.
   “Can any human ever really trust you? Wouldn’t you hurt me, if you had the choice?”
   “I.. But… Miu.”
   “Who do you think didn’t trust you enough to let you see my face?”
   That seemed to break him, long enough, at least.
   Steps suddenly started thundering up the nearby staircase.
   “Oop, that’s my cue,” Kokichi said as though he had been expecting this, when in reality no he hadn’t been expecting this at all?? This was incredible!! Saihara had managed to find him out without even receiving a note??? Fabulous! Exhilarating!
   Kokichi walked up to the robot, still frozen with indecision, and pressed the button on its neck that the blueprint he had skimmed in the lab said would immobilize it. Then he kicked it over so it fell on the ground with a huge bang. The footsteps in the stairwell paused, and then increased in frequency.
   “It’s been a pleasure, robot, it really has.” Kokichi lied. “But you’re a hostage now.”
   He raised the hammer over his head, as if primed at any moment to break the robot’s face into a bajillion pieces.
   Instead of doing the normal, human thing to do (ie, flip the fuck out), the robot scowled, looking utterly frustrated with everything. “I told you, I have a name! It’s-”
   “KEEBO!” Kokichi saw the glaringly bright pink mechanic’s jumpsuit before he recognized the woman whose picture had been in that science tabloid racing out of the stairwell.
   … Wow… the article really hadn’t been lying about the low cut tops, huh? Her jumpsuit was unzipped to the point you could just entirely see her bra, even lower than Hearts liked to cut her uniforms. It was the kind of look that the girls of DICE would love if they saw on TV, but would make Kokichi look at them like they were crazy. Super tacky in his opinion, but who was he to judge? He was wearing a clown mask right now. He wondered idly how movie night was going…
   The woman who had called out to the robot, Dr. Iruma, Kokichi presumed, froze at the top of the staircase. She took a second to figure out what exactly was happening in front of her before blurting out, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing to him you clown-ass twink?”
   Whoa. Rude.
   Also apparently the robot had a gender? Ok, cis-ters….
   “Well what do you think, cum dumpster?” Kokichi found himself matching her aggressive tone, “I’m threatening his pathetic, metal life.”
   “Miu!” The robot, apparently named ‘Keebo,’ exclaimed, “What are you doing up this late? You promised me that tonight you would fulfill the biological quota of daily REM required by a diurnal organism!”
   “Aw shit Keebs, I really did try!” The inventor exclaimed, “I swear, I was about to have the awesomest wet dream when this cuck knocked on my door like a pizza delivery guy in a por-”
   Whatever dumb thing Dr. Iruma was about to say was drowned out completely by the angel’s choir that played inside Kokichi’s head as he saw Detective Shuichi Saihara come up the final steps of the staircase and emerge from the darkness into the window lit hallway.
   Moonlight was a good look on Saihara, Kokichi’s brain observed against his own will. His eyes, which had looked almost golden on the rooftop of the Silver Legacy Casino in Nevada, were now a mysterious grayish-blue, yet still held the same look of determined intensity. His hair looked soft, like he’d taken a shower today, and, though his lash line didn’t look quite as laden with mascara as it usually was, it only drew attention to how naturally long and dark his eyelashes were anyway. He seemed a little out of breath from running, and his lips were parted in a way that-
   OH MY GOD STOP. Earth to Kokichi, we were kind of in the middle of something here. Okay okay okay.
   Uh. Reboot. Delete Gay Thoughts™ brain.exe, upload heist brain. Come on.
   What was happening now?
   Okay, yeah, Saihara was saying something to Dr. Iruma.
   “- would be for the best, Doctor Iruma. There’s no telling where the rest of this thief’s compatriots could be in the building.”
   “I don’t give a shit about the rest of the building, Keebo’s my best friend, he comes first. I’m not leaving to check some dumb security feed.”
   Shuichi blinked like something about that surprised him. Maybe it was the part about a live human woman being best friends with a robot… “Oh, yes, of course.” He backtracked. “I’m sorry for suggesting it.”
   “Miu…” Keebo said with a voice that Kokichi would’ve called filled with emotion if he hadn’t been a literal robot.
   Kokichi cleared his throat and immediately the touching, shounen-esque declarations of friendship shifted into some PG-13 death stares.
   Saihara was the first to pipe up. “What exactly do you think you’re doing here, DICE?”
   God… He was so anime… Did he even know how anime he was? He had to have watched Detective Conan as a kid, right?
   “Ugh, come on.” Kokichi huffed as if annoyed. “Do I reeeaaaally have to repeat myself? Again? Aren’t you a detective?”
   Shuichi squinted at him, and Kokichi could tell that they both knew it would be unreasonable for Shuichi to guess exactly what was going on here. He was about to explain it in a self-aggrandizing way that made him look smarter and crazier than anyone in the room when Dr. Iruma beat him to it.
   “I don’t care! Who the fuck do you think you are!? Let Keebo Go!”
   “Wait, you don’t know him?” Ugh why hadn’t the stupid immobilization feature turned off the robot’s mouth? Then Kokichi could just get to the point of all this already.
   “Of course I don’t fucking know him!” Dr. Iruma took a step forward as if to confront Kokichi further, but Saihara put his arm out in front of her.
   “Dr. Iruma… I would suggest we treat this situation a bit more delicately…”
   “No way, I’m a fucking wrecking ball baby! I’ll pulver-”
   “I’d listen to the good detective, if I were you, Miss Iruma.” Kokichi was going to try and make his threat again but Dr. Iruma cut in.
   “That’s Doctor Iruma to you you skinny-”
   “What’s that?” Kokichi interrupted her. Sorry Dr. Iruma it turns out gay people don’t have to respect women if they don’t want to that’s in the rules. “I didn’t know they let cussing bitchlets like you become doctors… what is the world coming to?”
   Hearts would probably wash his mouth out with soap for that one. If she could catch him. Which she probably could… She can fly the planes and all… but would she risk getting dust on her boots long enough to follow him into a vent? Oh well she could just get Jack to do it… Jack liked vents well enough…. Hey he was getting side tracked again, who cares what those losers were up to they were probably watching Cats (2019). And he was missing out on all the jokes they’d tell each other or make about each other and then they could make references in conversations that he wouldn’t even get to pretend to get. Unless he watched the movie on his own and then pretended to be omniscient later like he’d done with that one screening of The Hunchback of Notre Dame. But then he had watched the actually good disney one instead of the shitty youtube one they had actually watched so it just ended up making him look bad and wasting everyone’s time.
   Oh shit. Uh. Heist is still happening, right. God, why was Kokichi so distracted today?
   He realized that in the time he was spacing out stuff had happened and now Saihara was talking. Wait no yeah he remembered what happened, Dr. Iruma had squealed when he called her a bitchlet and now she was holding onto Saihara’s arm. Right okay, secret coward, that works. Wait why did he waste time remembering that when Saihara was talking right now?
   “-to get you to release Keebo?” Was the end of the detective’s sentence. Okay, everything’s fine. Kokichi could deduce that he had just been asked about his terms. Obviously that was what a detective would do in this situation, he was probably just stalling for time because that’s usually what detectives with no real negotiating power do in hostage situations. Maybe the police were on their way. Oh, yeah duh of course he would call the police. So Kokichi essentially had a time limit for how long he could sit here and goof around with robots and perverts and robot perverts.
   “Eh, it’s too early for me to reveal my dark motives, let me monologue first.” Kokichi was going to take his sweet time with this while he planned what hint to give Saihara about the real heist that would be happening in the next few days. “You don’t even know if this is a hostage situation yet!”
   “You literally told me that I was a hostage just now.” The hostage not-so-helpfully piped up. “You know, before you pressed my paralysis switch and took an Electro-Hammer to my head…”
   Shuichi looked at the robot. “You mean, he told you you were a hostage before he paralyzed you?”
   “Keebs you fucking idiot!” Dr. Iruma’s courage seemed to have returned now that she was hiding behind Saihara. An enviable position, to be sure. “Why would you just let him do that?”
“He said he was your… friend.”
“What?”
   Kokichi shrugged. “Yeah, I just told your best friend here I left a dildo in your lab last week and he let me waltz right in. I mean I’m pretty sure I was lying about that, but there were a lot of sex toys in there huh…” Kokichi was wondering if this was something he could possibly spin as a blackmail angle.
   “Hey don’t say things like that!” Kokichi thought maybe that was a go ahead on the black mail, but Dr. Iruma didn’t stutter, and kept going, “Or you’re gonna give virginhara here some ideas about my busting bod!” She chortled like she had just made the funniest joke in the world and slapped Shuichi on the back.
   Shuichi grimaced.
   Kokichi knew instantly from this interaction that he hated Miu Iruma, despite her innumerable academic accomplishments. He wanted to be the one making Shuichi that uncomfortable.
   “Wh-what?” She back tracked when no one laughed. “It w-was a joke… Didn’t you think that was funny? I-I didn’t really mean it ....”
   See? She wasn’t even any good at it!
   Maybe he should say that out loud. It would fit with the sort of flirty persona of a rogue, wouldn’t it?
   “I thought you knew that? I mean, o-obviously I wouldn’t fuck a guy at the office…”
   Was that even something Kokichi was trying to be? Honestly maybe he should tone it down a little.
   “Well how was I supposed to know that? The men you bring in here to be lab assistants keep getting younger and younger…”
   Obviously he wasn’t actually trying to do like a detective-thief romance plot or anything. Although that had kind of been what he had going for on the plane… Had things changed since then?
   “So what? I’m a Nobel Laureate, and gorgeous to boot! I deserve a little eye candy now and then! And besides, guys older than 35 who want to work in a lab like this are usually misogynistic womanizers.”
   Sure Saihara was making things more interesting, but if Kokichi didn’t make it clear he was joking he might get bogged down with another personality trait to maintain.
   “Are you saying your current assistant isn’t a rampant womanizer?”
   Then again what was the point of having an adversary in all this if he didn’t exploit everything for its furthermost reaching comedic potential?
   “No, but he’s so beta being around him makes me feel like a top!”
   But what if he forgot it was a joke and confused himself into having a real feeling?
   “I would just like it if you didn’t hire people who use my servers to google gay porn ‘just to make sure’ they’re ‘not into it.’ I hope you hear the quotation marks because he literally said that to me!”
   No obviously he wouldn't get confused crushes weren’t contagious via exposure that was a dumb thing to worry about and also he was a genius that kind of thing didn’t happen to him.
   “He holds wrenches good, okay?!”
   Wait, were those two still talking?
   “I can hold wrenches without googling gay porn in another guy’s house! It’s possible.”
   Jesus what kind of conversation did Kokichi just decide to stop spacing out for?
“Oh come on! What do you want from me Keebs???”
   These two had… a lot to say to each other. Dr. Iruma was still holding onto Shuichi’s arm boob first, but Kokichi locked eyes with the detective and could tell they were both thinking the same thing.
   Why are they having this conversation in the middle of a hostage situation?
   “Nothing! Your human desires are totally valid Miu! Which is why I thought I would take care of this one.” The robot’s LED display eyes gestured up at Kokichi, who was still standing on top of him, poised to wreck him with a hammer.
   “How could any human desire that thing???” Dr. Iruma curled her lip. Hey, the feeling’s mutual, lady.
   “I don’t know, I thought you might have programmed me to not be able to see his face?”
   “I would never do that to you! Even if I was shagging the ugliest guy on the face of the planet, it would be unethical given the fact that you have sentience! I’m horny, not a monster. You can’t see his face because he’s wearing a fucking mask!”
   “Why am I not programmed to see that?”
   “I don’t fucking know, ask your dead dad!”
   Oooh. Wow. The robot gaped at that, seemingly speechless now.
   “If I may interject,” Kokichi interjected, “--and I know I can, because I just did, and also because I am still very much poised to pop this robot’s head off like a croquet ball-- I must confess that I was lying about fucking your mom, Astro boy. I’m less into participants of Titty out Tuesday who jerk it to steam punk school boy LARPing and more into the sorta tall, kinda dark, and very handsome type.”
   Dr. Iruma cowed again, stuttering something about not being a mom or a LARPer, while the robot started yelling about being called Astro boy.
   Kokichi tuned them out, giving Saihara a meaningful look. Saihara gave him a look that was equally meaningful, except the meaning was something along the lines of ‘Why the fuck would you say that?’
   Yeahh that was more like it.
   Kokichi laughed. Not one of his grandiose guffaws. It was more of a little chuckle. It surprised him. He hadn’t planned to laugh, but there it was. A small thing, just for him to know about, the humored breath not travelling beyond his mask.
   … It was probably time to get out of here, wasn’t it?
   The thing was, Kokichi had kind of pinned himself into a corner on this one… He had fully intended on decapitating this robot as a distraction for his escape, but now he wasn’t even sure if that was ethical. Logically he knew that a robot was not a human being, so there would be no form of consciousness extinguished from the world if he disconnected some of its wires and bolts. Yet the interaction it just had with Dr. Iruma concerned him. Obviously you don’t kill humans because they’re humans and obviously you don’t kill humans. But Kokichi was finding it hard to end the existence of something people treated like a human being either. To sever the bonds it had with sentient beings may be just a little less unethical than actually removing a sentient existence from the world, but it would still cause the emotional harm to actual humans of a dead loved one. So as annoying as fake metal humans were, Kokichi was left to ponder how exactly to get out of this one a different way
   Dr. Iruma was obviously a coward who talked a big game. If he retreated, he could count on her to get out his way, or else run to the robot’s side. Then the robot might be reactivated, but according to the robot’s blueprints, it didn’t really have any weapons on it, being built to act as a normal human being. So just like they had been white noise in the staredown he was still having with Saihara, their actions wouldn’t need to be factored into the escape.
   The only variable here was what the detective would do.
   … That thought had popped up in Kokichi’s head a lot recently, hadn’t it?
   Saihara had become a powerful influence in Kokichi’s planning very quickly, and because of the detective, the thief now found himself having to pull out one of his trump cards.
   Kokichi grabbed one of the EMP bombs from his pocket, remembering the pink cloud of smoke that had appeared before the camera cut out in the video demonstrations he’d seen online. His eyes were still locked on Saiharas, so he got to see in full detail the recognition, shock, and alarm that ran through them. As the detective yelled “Get down” and pushed Dr. Iruma back, Kokichi reflected on how those were some of his favorite expressions he’d ever seen.
   Kokichi pulled the latch out with his teeth and threw the bomb at the wall right over the detective’s head. Sure enough, pink smoke quickly enveloped him and Dr. Iruma.
   “Keebo!” The inventor screeched, no doubt worried about the EMP bomb turning him off. Though that was kind of stupid, considering his core programming would be the same regardless of having power to operate, even if he didn’t save whatever data was processed as his last few memories. Eh, then again who knew how robots that advanced worked?
   Taking his cue to exit, Kokichi threw the hammer through one of the nearby windows, and did somersault over to it. He got up on the ledge, kicking away the broken glass and was refamiliarizing himself with the lay out of the roof when a tug on his bag full of bombs suddenly set him off balance.
   Kokichi flipped around, trying to do a quick recovery by panickedly grabbing onto something. He did grab onto something. That something being the shoulders of a person whose hands were firmly grappling his bag.
   As far as Kokichi could tell, the scene from a third person perspective looked like he was trying to do the kabedon but rotated ninety degrees.
   From his own perspective, Saihara was holding his bag of loot while also being the only thing keeping Kokichi from falling onto the broken glass beneath them.
   As if that weren’t bad enough, Kokichi felt his hair brush the side of his face and realized that his mask had half fallen askew in his desperate movement, revealing three quarters of his face.
   “Hey.” Kokichi said. Lamely. Wow. Their faces were really close.
   Saihara wasn’t looking at him. The detective seemed to be trying to figure out how to untangle the straps of the bag of stolen goods from Kokichi’s arms without letting him fall.
   “It’s very clever, of you detective. Trapping me like this.” Kokichi tried to get a reaction.
   “You’re the one who jumped on the window.” Shuichi opened the bag, seemed to take in the fact that it was full of bombs, and closed it again to resume untangling the strap.
“You know, you could just leave the bag.” Kokichi pointed out
   “So could you.” Shuichi observed, astutely.
   “You could let me fall.” Kokichi suggested. “Then you’d have both.”
   “I’m not going to drop you on a pile of broken glass.” Shuichi promised.
   “But I broke the glass.” Kokichi admitted.    “Glass is glass and flesh is flesh. I’m not going to drop you on a pile of glass.” Shuichi reiterated like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“That’s nice.” Kokichi replied. “Naive. But super nice.”
   In this scenario, each of them had two options, each leading to one of two outcomes. He could let himself fall off the window and they could sit here and struggle over the bag until they bled out, a fight that Kokichi, not the most physically challenging, would be hard pressed to win. Or Shuichi could let Kokichi escape and Kokichi could let Shuichi win this one. The bag would be too heavy to take with him if he tried to get out the window from this position. He’d have to leave it behind. Kokichi would lose.
   He found himself laughing again. A strange, soft laugh. This time it was exposed to the air, his mask too askew to contain it.
   “You’re really something else, aren’t you Shuichi?”
   On hearing his name, the detective startled, finally looking up at Kokichi’s face.
   He just barely had the chance to catch Kokichi’s trademark grin, before the thief pushed up off of him, doing a backflip out of the window, and leaving his bag behind.
   As Kokichi landed on the roof tile running, he yelled out, “ I’m sure there’s a better word for you out there than sucker!”
   He turned around, sticking his tongue out at the broken window, before sliding his mask back onto his face.
   He may have been escaping, but it occured to Kokichi Ouma that he had lost for the first time in this little game of theirs. The thought made him giddy. It made his feet light on the roof top tile. It made him puff out a thousand tiny laughs behind the plastic shape of his face.
   It made him totally, definitely not bored. --- [Log of Messages sent via Discord to “Don't Instigate Cats (2019) Expatiation” from ???’s Cellular Device]
Boss: I’m bored of Taiwan already :/
Boss: We should go somewhere else (ノ✧w✧)ノ*:・゚🗺
* * * Several people are typing... --- [Log of Text Messages from Rantarou Amami’s Cellular Device]
From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)
Hey
Hey
Asshole
From: Me
Should I respond to that?
From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)
You’re goddamn right you should respond to that when I tell you to you dumb avocado looking motherfucker
From: Me
Whoa
Ok
What’d I do this time?
From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)
You sent a useless emo prick to my door and now he won’t leave
From: Me
What
Did Shuichi do something wrong
From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)
Yeah
He was born
From: Me
Whoa
Miu take a breath
What happened
From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)
His boyfriend broke into my lab and tried to fucking kill keebs
From: Me
His boyfriend?
From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)
Yea
Clown twink ass motherfucker
From: Me
You mean like
The internationally wanted criminal clown he’s tracking down
From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)
You know whats internationally wanted
These tits
From: Me
Lol ok
From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)
That jerk off is just a rando asshole
He tried to kill keebo!
From: Me
Oh yikes is he ok
From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)
Well of course i fucking took care of him because im a bomb ass friend
But that suckhara guy was no help
He tried to convince me to check the fucking security cameras so he could go off and flirt with the guy about to decapitate keebs!
From: Me
I mean he probably had a good reason to want you to check the cameras right
From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)
No he’s just fucking awful and now he won’t leave rantarou make him leave
He broke my window and my hammer and only got back 23 of my EMP bombs
And now the police are here
From: Me
That sounds really stressful Miu
Wait how many bombs did you have before
From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)
24
From: Me
So he stopped most of your bombs from getting stolen
Also you have bombs?
From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)
Get him to leave he won’t leave
He keeps waiting for like interracial pole dancers to come or some fucking thing
From: Me
Do you mean like
Interpol
From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)
He won’t leave I want him to leave
From: Me
Miu you know I love you like a sister and i totally believe this is as stressful to you as it seems
But I think things may not be so bad?
Not to say what you’re going through right now isn’t totally valid
But things might look better if you got back to bed and caught some z’s
Did you remember to take your meds?
From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)
Aw shit
Aw fuck
You’re right
Ugh
Uggghghh
From: Me
Hey it happens to the best of us
If you do think Shuichi should leave in the morning when the cops are gone that’s totally up to you
It’s your lab and you have a right to say who should be in it
Just don’t make a decision like that when you need to sleep you know
From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)
But what if i ask him to go and then he doesn’t go
From: Me
He doesn’t have a choice, you get to tell him
From: DOCTOR Miu ∑(O_O;)
But what if he’s mean to me
Cute people are always mean to me
From: Me
Miu…
Go to bed...
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It’s really sad when Red Rank Killers are so bad that they have to face camp just to get a Kill. If you do this, don’t go messaging the Survivors for not bothering to get the save because - as a result of your own actions - you got next to no points. You chose to stand in place for 2 mins while a team of 3 ppl with the help of Prove Thyself and Kindred, finished the last 3 Gens.
I refuse to give a tunneling Killer an easier time. I refuse to not make a fool of them. I will not pity you for getting run around when you made the choice to focus one person the whole match. Whatever happens is what you’ve got coming to you. So if all 5 Gens get done in 2 minutes because you wouldn’t even take a second to hit someone in the Gens you pass mid-Chase, that’s on you.
Got a Rank 1 Huntress who sucked. Not only did she need NO-ED to get a down, but she face-camped the person on the Hook, despite having an Ebony Mori. And then demanded to know why everyone just killed themselves on the Hook, thereby denying her a precious Mori that was apparently a big loss for her. It was her only Mori Offering and us denying her the Kill was ‘rude’.
So we swf Sabo “B” Squad where we all had pimped out Toolboxes, Breakdown, Breakout, Boil Over, and Borrowed Time just in case. The four Bs. It was so beautiful, holy shit! We just picked the corner furthest from the Basement and if getting Chased, would go over there. Getting Hooked on each of the Hooks nearest that corner, and then them being broken for 3 minutes giving us time to wiggle out as the Killer would have to walk toward Hooks much further away! XD 
Killer: ur toxic! Me: got hatch after u tunneled me fr all 5 Gens is toxic? Killer: u shouldn’t teabag over hatch! Me: so u can B toxic but I can’t? Killer: Tunneling is a real strat the devs say so! get gud! Me: Says the dude who couldn’t get even 1 Kill after tunneling. *suddenly I’m blocked*
So I full on Blendetted for a match on the saloon map and Legion was dumb enough to look away after downing me, to go a few meters over and break a pallet I stunned him with. Big mistake. I crawled away and blended into the bushes perfectly, so he’s circling this small corner of the map, looking for me in the bushes, and I’m steadily crawling through the bushes, away from that corner, and once far enough away, I use Unbreakable to get myself off the ground. I had on iron Will, so I made no sound as I Healed myself up. In that time, 4 Gens popped and Legion finally realizes he should gtfo before the last Gen gets finished! We all still Escaped!
Huntress tunneled me after I was unHooked because I led her on a 3 Gen Chase and she was salty. However, the idiot didn’t pay attention and got trapped in the hole on the side of those hills. So I got to wiggle off and then I teabagged her. And since she was out of Iridescent Hatchets to throw, she had nothing to do but watch us all Heal up in front of her. The twat rage-quit before everyone was Healed up and sent me this long, swear-riddled message about how I ‘need to learn how to have fun’ and need to ‘get out of my mom’s basement’. Like, bitch, I had fun making fun of the instant karma you got for being a tunneling piece of shit, and you’re out here dedicating a lot of time and effort to using your controller to send insults to people on PS4, over a video game. Like I’m not going to report you using the N-word? I was in another match when the long messages came through, that’s how pathetic this twit was. Paragraphs all typed out with a PS4 controller. The obsession.
Got another Huntress(the Huntresses today are terrible) who needed NO-ED and slugged the last 2 ppl & stood over us, nodding like she was good. We waited out the entire Engame Collapse just to piss her off since she wouldn’t pick anyone up. She sends me this salty message about how I ‘should have taken the L and DC’d’. She got the least amount of points(4K+) cuz 2 ppl Escaped & she refused to Hook the last 2. Meaning she got no Hooks all match. & somehow this is my fault because she chose to play like a fucking idiot.
If anyone’s wondering why I tend to be chosen for hate messages, I’ve noticed it’s only in matches where I came out with the most pts out of the Survivors. I’m assuming that’s the reason since it’s the only other common denominator between all the hate messages I get. Usually an accusation of being in a swf group is added in there as well.
Ran into the same swf group 3 matches in a row! First match only 2 of us got out. Second match 3 of us, and the last match we got the 4-man Escape!
I’ve come to the conclusion that Pyramid Head is the worst Killer in terms of getting value out of him since I’ve never faced a single one who could actually play him without his 3 Perks. If Pyramid Head if so dependent on his own perks, that’s not good. Or maybe, players are so dependent on his Perks and simply can’t play him for shit. It’s so easy to outplay them and it shouldn’t be. I see a PH and I roll my eyes because I know what Perks are coming, which removes the scare factor and makes matches against him boring af.
And with the Blight coming out tomorrow, I do have concerns over people overusing his Perks.
So many fucking Legions! IstG, Legion was the most hated Killer like a year ago, so why does everyone and their brother want to be Legion these days?
Killer who apparently doesn’t know how Franklin’s Demise works, bragging after the game about making me ‘lose my Key’ and calling me a bad Survivor for needing it. “Bruh, FD only works w basic attacks. I still got the Key fr the challenge.” He never replied. Probably cuz he made himself look like a dumbass.
I’ve gotten 3 Hatch Escapes today! Not just me alone either. I always managed to get someone else out with me!
Only reason I like the Meat Plant is because Claudette blends in so well in this room on the bottom floor.
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This Totem was so glowy I saw it from outside the room and far down the hall!
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I was trying to moonwalk on it.
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