#u come into my housr

[thatonesapphicfilipino]

OMG GUYS GUYS OMFG

ok so background i come from a very religous family and like some of my extended fam is homophobic/transphobic and in addition im in this charismatic worship group that’s also homophobic/transphobic AND OMFG

SO THIS LORNING ME AND MY DAD WERE TALKING ABOUT HOOTY FROM THE OWL HOUSR (TOH) AND MY DAD WAS LIKE “wait is hooty a he?? is hooty he she it??? it’s fine if hootys a she” or smth AND IM LIKE “i think hootys a guy” WHILE TRYING NOT TO LIKE EXPLODE LIKE WODJRJJSF (btw hooty is he/him)

AND THEN JUST A BIT AGO WE WERE WATCHING AND EPISODE WITH RAINE WHOS NON BINARY AND LIKE MY SISTER HAS GROWN UP WOTH TONS OF NON GENDER BINARY CONFORMING EXAMPLES IN THE MEDIA AND IM SO HAPPY FOR HER LIKE SHELL SEE A NON BINSRY CHARACTER IN TV AND BE LIKE “DADDY DID U HEAR THAT THEY THEM” AND LIKE SKDJJFG BUT LIKE ME AND MY SISTER HAVE BEEN LIKE KEEPING MY DAD UP WITH THE GENDER THINGS LIKE WHEN HER NISS GENDERS CHSRACTERS AND STUFF AND TODAY IT ALL PAYED PFF CUZ WE WERE TALKING ABT HOW LIKE ALL THE CHARACTERS OF TOH R LIKE FUCKING UNWELL MENTALLY AND HE WAS LIKE “can’t she (eda) see they’re not ok” AND IN JUST LIKE WORJHDIFIF AJD TRYING NOT TO CRY SND THENN AND THENN HES LIKE “… he they…” AND I AM INTERNALLY CRYING MENTALLY I AM NOT HERE I AM PN THE FROUND CRYING SEND HELP LIKE OKFG LIFE IS FINALLY GOOD

but then i went from gender euphoria to panic attack like that so slight improvement but a win is a win

[tinybitofhope]

wanna hear a joke

it’s so good

ur gonna wanna read all this

the anticipation is worth ut

just wait

it’s almost time

wait i lied

ok any min now

it’s a lil late

just another hour

i even told the joke to come an hour early

hold on

the joke left the housr

one more day

almostt

it’s really that good

it’s u.

ur the joke.

love u <3333

that’s also part of the joke

u suck <3333

this is not worthy of my ask tag

[leopoldainter]

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[leossmoonn]

omg imagine being klaus' human daughter and then you get hope as a lil sis and you are SECRETLY dating stefan so he one day shows up at your window making sure your dad isn't home and then spends time w u and kid!hope who loves unkie steffie bc he's so cool. And then when klaus finally returns home, hope blabs to him abt cool unkie steffie visiting them and kissing y/n on the lips often and klaus is like ":0" and "NOT IN MY HOUSE BITCH"

omg i got a request like this 👀👀👀 if youre that anon then just know i will get to it i promise

okay anyways anyways i love this

y/n mikealson ✨✨ yes so lets say hope is like.. 4? and you have her in your room watching beauty n the beast and then you hear a knock on your window and is like “wtf um...”

so you get up off your bed and see stefan and youre like “OMG STEFAN!!”

and he’s like “hey baby” and he climbs into your room and pulls you into a kiss (🥺🥺) and he hugs you tightly bc you two barely get to see each other. then hope is like

“uncle steffie! where’s my hug!??” and stefan is like “omg hi hope!”

and he runs over and picks her up and spins her around in a hug and its so cute. and you three hang out watching more disney princess movies. you and stefan are cuddling together while hope is painting her nails n stuff.

THEN.

you hear klaus get home. and youre like “OMG STEFAN GET TF UP” and he’s like “FUCK”

and then he jumps off the window and speeds away 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

then klaus comes into your room and you play it cool and is like

“yeah dad. nothing sus here” *cue among us music*

im so sorry ill leave lmao

and then hope, FUCKING HOPE says

“yeah! uncle steffie cuddled with y/n!”

and youre like 😧🤬 and klaus is like 😟 “wot? hope, what do you mean?”

and hope points to the window and is like “uncle steffie and sissy cuddled!! they dating🥰🥰🥰”

and klaus looks are you and his eyes go dark and in the same tone he yelled rebekah he says “Y/NNNNN”

and you say “shit” and then klaus storms out of your room and is like “NOT IN MY HOUSR. YOUR LITTLE BF IS DEAD.”

and then you try to warn stefan but... i’m afraid hes not too lucky 😬 lol

very fun times lol

[cryptidhill]

Group Chat

ah the infamous fic that kept me up two extra hours tonight just trying to post it to archive and it still wouldn’t fucking work. im pissed. tf you mean “must be at least 10 characters long” IT’S 500. AND I CAN’T FIND AN ANSWER AS TO WHY IT SAYS THAT ON THE INTERNET ANYWHERE.

Bonus: Kazuichi’s contact for Fuyuhiko is “Boss Baby”

Fuyuhiko woke up to his phone's notifications going off the wall. The first message he saw was read out of context, and of course it had come from the Ultimate Mechanic himself. Good grief.

Car Fucker 🚗 Now DUDE HOLY SHIT IT JUST MOVED

He had no idea what the hell was going on, or why his friends were up so goddamn early in the morning. He looked over at his clock and checked the time. 2:37 in the fucking morning.

Hajimeme Now WHAT ARE YOU DOING KILL IT

Car Fucker 🚗 Now DUDE I CANT KILL THAT THING ITS BIG ENOUGH TO EAT ME

Snow White 👸🏼 Now Pls do not kill it!!! what if it has family?

Car Fucker 🚗 Now FUCK ITS FAMILY IM NOT DYING AT 2 IN THE MORNING

Car Fucker 🚗 Now IM ABOU T TO BURN T HIS MOTHERFUC

Fuyuhiko set his phone down and sat up. He groggily rubbed at his eyes and cursed under his breath. The one night he forgets to put his phone on silent is the one night he gets woken up by the fucktards he calls his friends.

Me Now IT'S 2:40 IN THE FUCIG MORNNING WHAT THE HELL ARE TOU DOING

Furry 🐹🐹🐹🐹 Now if u hurt that arachnid ill personally come over there and break both ur legs, i will summon all the power from hell

Mrs. Meaty Now i love how I know youre yelling that as you type

Me Now what

Me Now don't fuckig tell me this is overr a spider

Hajimeme Now How did you manage to misspell ducking twice

Hajimeme Now Fucking***

Hajimeme Now fuck

Peko 🌸 Now It's almost three in the morning.

Peko 🌸 Now Why are you all up?

Me Now great not you to

Snow White 👸🏼 Now too**

Me Now shut up

Peko 🌸 Now I thought you were sleeping??

Me Now I was

Me Now Car ducker woke me ip

Me Now Fucker***

Car Fucker 🚗 Now IS THAT STILL MY NAME IN UR PHONE

Me Now ya

Furry 🐹🐹🐹🐹 Now im on my way over

Car Fucker 🚗 Now what no dude stay the fuck awat from my housr

Snow White 👸🏼 Now Gundham it's 2:45 am

Mrs. Meaty Now hey peko

Hajimeme Now i hat e you ppl

Furry 🐹🐹🐹🐹 Now idoeosndbwojdbekwlqpdnankx&:'falkd

Furry 🐹🐹🐹🐹 Now $;&3@ledjw

Furry 🐹🐹🐹🐹 Now I apologize jun-p sat on my phone

Peko 🌸 Now Hey.

Me Now you fucjers are a pain in mr ass

Hajimeme Now mr ass

There was a silent pause that lasted a few moments before the chat picked up again.

Me Now Im goin bac k to sleep

Car Fucker 🚗 Now maybe if ur lucky pekoll wake yiu with a kiss

Peko 🌸 Now ??

Me Now GOOODNIFHT

Mrs. Meaty Now turn on spell check

Peko 🌸 Now Wait, Kazuichi, what do you mean?

Peko 🌸 Now Goodnight, Fuyuhiko.

That was all Fuyuhiko saw before silencing his phone and setting it off to the side of his bed. That was going to be hell to wake up to again in the morning, but for now he didn't give a shit. He just wanted to sleep. In the meantime though, he'd silently hope for Kazuichi to be eaten by that spider.