#u cant give up on everything else to stay in a space of mourning smth u wanted so bad but didnt get
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#kinda really very sick and twisted to be unable to let go#of someone... and have it affect u so bad#that u neglect all other relations and possible connections#not even on purpose just bc u feel so fkn dejected and empty and sad#and that this person made u feel things that u didnt even know u could feel#so it's like a new drug that hits u just right and does the exact thing u need#and then it is gone and u suffer the withdrawls#but then also... every other hit of every other drug just doesnt come close to feeling just right#so it just leaves u feeling more empty and lost. unable to find purchase#but it is so so sad and also bad and not at all what u want#u want to find other things!!! nurture other things!!!#for yourself. but also bc it feels so humiliating that the other person is not at all in the same space#theyre not suffering withdrawls from u. they switched u out. u arent needed. or wanted. or desired. anymore.#they arent obsessed or twisted up inside or crazy about u like u are for them.#theyre busy with someone else who arent u.#so why arent u out there trying to force every last ounce of that amazing... but nonetheless the drug out of your system#u cant give up on everything else to stay in a space of mourning smth u wanted so bad but didnt get#well whatever idek what tf im saying what was i gonna say...
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