#u can't tell me it's not true. and i wanna say it's crack but is it tho

[weezerfan123]

do u have any songs u associate with sweet dirt maychance ? i am making a playlist n i would luv to hear recs from madam sweet dirt herself thank u 💖🧡

Omg I’m so honored to be called madam sweet dirt!! Yes I have a whole playlist,, ⬇️

Here’s all the songs, accompanied by some lyrics that are Sweet Dirt to me…! ^_^

I REALLY REALLY love music and lyrics and analyzing them and attaching them to characters… so this is a long list… not sorry!

Dirty Town - Mother Mother

“Yeah, I pinched my pennies and I put 'em down

And I washed my hands of a dirty town”

“My lady friend, oh, she don't need to pretend

She country

She cracks the crack of dawn with her crackin' whip”

Dig - Incubus

“We all have something that digs at us

At least we dig each other

So when weakness turns my ego up

I know you'll count on the me from yesterday”

Shutup You’re Stupid - That Handsome Devil

“Shut up, you're stupid

Just hold my frigging hand (hold my frigging hand)

Shut up, you're stupid, just kiss me

Shut up, you're stupid, just be my frigging man”

Skate - Silk Sonic

“I can smell your sweet perfume

Mmm, you smell better than a barbecue

Oh, superstar is what you are

I'm your biggest fan

If you're lookin' for a man, Sugar, here I am”

There’d Better Be A Mirrorball - Arctic Monkeys

“Don't get emotional, that ain't like you

Yesterday's still leaking through the roof

That's nothing new

I know I promised this is what I wouldn't do

Somehow giving it the old romantic fool

Seems to better suit the mood”

Mama Told Me Not To Come - Tom Jones

“Open up the window, let some air into this room

I think I'm almost chokin' from the smell of stale perfume

And that cigarette you're smokin' 'bout scare me half to death

Open up the window, sucker, let me catch my breath”

“The radio is blastin', someone's knockin' at the door

I'm lookin' at my girlfriend, she's passed out on the floor

I seen so many things I ain't never seen before

Don't know what it is, I don't wanna see no more”

Punk Rock Girl - The Dead Milkmen

“We went to the Philly Pizza Company

And ordered some hot tea

The waitress said, "Well, no

We only have it iced"

So, we jumped up on the table

And shouted, "Anarchy!"”

“We went to a shopping mall

And laughed at all the shoppers

And security guards trailed us

To a record shop”

“We got into a car

Away we started rollin'

I said, "How much you pay for this?"

She said, "Nothing, man, it's stolen"”

Shiver - Maroon 5

“You build me up, you knock me down

Provoke a smile, then make me frown

You are the queen of run-around

You know it's true

You chew me up and spit me out

Enjoy the taste I leave in your mouth

You look at me, I look at you

Neither of us know what to do”

Fire Water Burn - Bloodhound Gang

“I'm the root of all that's evil, yea, but you can call me Cookie”

I Will Buy You a New Life - Everclear

“I hate those people who love to tell you

Money is the root of all that kills

They have never been poor

No, they've never known the joy of a welfare Christmas”

“They might make you think you're happy

Yeah, maybe for a minute or two

They can't make you laugh

No, they can't make you feel the way that I do

I will buy you a garden

Where your flowers can bloom

I will buy you a new car

Perfect, shiny and new

I will buy you that big house

Way up in the West Hills

I will buy you a new life”

Trailer Trash - Modest Mouse

“Live in trailers with no class

Goddamn, I hope I can pass

High school means nothing

Taking heartache with hard work

Goddamn, I am such a jerk

I can't do anything”

Little Pistol - Mother Mother

“Up on my side, where it is felt

I pack a little pistol on my pistol belt

I think it might be fear

Of the world and the way it makes you feel afraid”

Harvest Moon - Phoenix Moon

“Come a little bit closer

Hear what I have to say

Just like children sleepin'

We could dream this night away”

“When we were strangers

I watched you from afar

When we were lovers

I loved you with all my heart

But now it's gettin' late

And the moon is climbin' high

I want to celebrate

See it shinin' in your eye”

The Moon - The Microphones

“And we went all the way up to the small town where I'm from

With foggy air and the wind and the mountain tops

And we clung to rocks and we looked off

You held my hand, you almost got to start feeling me

I finally felt like I was breathing free

And under swaying trees, we fell asleep and had the same dream”

Curl up & Die - Matt Maltese

“There was a time

When I worshipped the ground you walked on

There was a time

When I'd cut off my ear for you

There was a time

When I worshipped the towel you dried on

There was a time

When I'd kill all my friends for you

You're the only one

Makes me wanna cry

You're the only one

Makes me wanna beat up inside

You're the only one

Makes me feel alive

You're the only one

Makes me wanna go home and

Curl up and die”

“I was just the tag on your shoes

(Curl up and die)

And I liked being that

(Curl up and die)

I was just the germs in your flu

(Curl up and die)

And I liked being that

I was just the chip on your tooth

And I liked being that

I was just the me to your you

And I liked being that”

Street Carp - Deftones

“It's not that I care (truly)

But you're that girl (with sharp teeth)

Who grabs at the walls (and pulls me down)”

Little Boxes - Pete Seeger

Basically all of the lyrics to this song,, I associate it with Sweet Dirt because I have this headcanon that Scott is hates the government/the system/society etc.,

This also reminds me of them bc they wouldn’t want a typical “ticky-tacky” life together

Loving Machine - TV Girl

Also literally just this whole song. I think it’s really sweet. To me it’s about Sugar befriending Scott when he’s in the trauma chair. I think Scott would appreciate having her by his side through his recovery because she wouldn’t pity him or baby him at all.. I’ll write a fic abt this au someday.. I promise..

Freaking Out - Death

Idk why this one is on here,, them when they freak out i guess LMFOA I just like this song

Somethin’ Stupid - Frank & Nancy Sinatra

“The time is right, your perfume fills my head

The stars get red, and, oh, the night's so blue

And then I go and spoil it all

By saying somethin' stupid like, "I love you"”

“I can see it in your eyes

That you despise the same old lies

You heard the night before

And though it's just a line to you

For me it's true

And never seemed so right before”

Passionfruit - Drake

“Listen

Seeing you got ritualistic

Cleansin' my soul of addiction for now

'Cause I'm fallin' apart

Yeah, tension

Between us just like picket fences

You got issues that I won't mention for now

'Cause we're fallin' apart”

Everlong - Foo Fighters

“Tonight, I throw myself into

And out of the red

Out of her head, she sang

Come down and waste away with me

Down with me

Slow, how you wanted it to be

I'm over my head

Out of her head, she sang”

“Breathe out

So I can breathe you in

Hold you in

And now

I know you've always been

Out of your head

Out of my head, I sang”

P.U.N.K. Girl - Heavenly

“P is for the painful way she makes me feel some day

U is for Utopia, the other times with her

N is for the new wave dreams she had back in her teens

K is for the kid in her, my PUNK girl

She is honest and kind but in a way that people see

As telling lies and being mean

She has thousands of dreams but what they are I'll never know

I hope I figure in them though

I don't care if they can't see

Just how great that girl can be

But I wish, she'd find a way To act well, for just one day”

Take Me by the Hand - Flamingos in the Tree

“Dancing slow

While my heart beats fast

Should I tell you how

I've escaped my past

Take me by the hand back to your place

Show me how to dance and we'll embrace

Take me by the hand back to your place

Show me how to dance”

“Hold me close with your hand in mine

Let me be the one that you keep in mind

When you're laying there staring at the ceiling

And you need someone too”

[lousypotatoes]

♪Playlist♪

Tumbling Dice - The Rolling Stones

"I'm all sixes and sevens and nines

Say now, baby, I'm the rank outsider

You can be my partner in crime~"

Set Fire To The Rain - Adele

"Sometimes I wake up by the door 

That heart you caught must be waiting for you

Even now when we're already over

I can't help myself from looking for you~"

Mary On A Cross - Ghost

"We were scanning the city, rocking to pay their dues

But besides all the glamour, all we got was bruised

But through all the sorrow, we've been riding high

And the truth of the matter is I never let you go, let you go~"

Dirty Laundry - Don Henley

"We got the bubble-headed beach blonde, comes on at five

She can tell you about the plane crash with a gleam in her eye

It's interesting when people die

Give us dirty laundry~"

I Hate It Here - Taylor Swift 

"I'm lonely but I'm good

I'm bitter, but I swear I'm fine 

I'll save my romanticism for my inner life and I'll get lost on purpose

This place makes me feel worthless~" 

Valentino - Years & Years, MNEK

"I should have known not to trust Valentino 

I should of known not to trust Valentino

Tonight I'm saying goodbye Valentino

We know just what you're doing~"

Lose Control - Teddy Swims

"The problem is when I'm with you, I'm an addict

And I need some relief, my skin and your teeth

Can't see the forest through the trees

Got me down on my knees, darlin' please, oh~"

HONEY (ARE U COMING?) - Maneskin

"Before I found this place I was feeling so blue 

But then it turned me out let it do it to you

It's not a one night if it turns into two

Oh, I like it~"

Daylight - David Kushner

"This lust is a burden that we both share 

Two sinners can't atone from a lone prayer

Souls tied, intertwined by guilt~"

Lights Down Low - MAX

"You're dancing in your bare feet 

Just like we're in a movie

Grab my hand and we're chasing the train 

Catch you looking back at me 

Running through a cloud of steam~"

Feeling Good - Micheal Bublé

"Oh freedom is mine

And I know how I feel 

It's a new dawn

It's a new day

It's a new life~"

older - Isabel LaRosa

"Think I need someone older

Just a little bit colder

Takes the weight off your shoulders

Think I need someone older~"

Stereo Hearts - Gym Class Heroes, Adam Levine

"Furthermore, I apologize for any skipping cracks

It's just the last girl to play me left a couple cracks

I used to, used to, used to, used to, now I'm over that

'Cause holding grudges over love is ancient artifacts~"

I Love You Like An Alcoholic - The Taxpayers

"Seven blocks in, my fingers brushed your hand

I blushed and you laughed, but you seemed a little sad

I ain't one to jump ship, but I absolutely knew

I was six steps in when I fell into you~"

Friends On The Other Side - Keith David

"I can read your future

I can change it 'round some, too

I'll look deep into your heart and soul 

Make your wildest dreams come true~"

Drunk (And I Don't Wanna Go Home) - Elle King, Miranda Lambert

You like my gin and tonic kisses 'cause you know they taste so sweet

And I know you got your missus, but there ain't no one like me~"

I Want To Hold Your Hand - The Beatles

"And when I touch you, I feel happy inside

It's such a feelin' my love

I can't hide, I can't hide, I can't hide~"

[fight-the-corn]

sbi x reader part 7

I was terrified. The moment the door closed, I was waiting for the hammer to drop, my breathing immediately picking up. But my dad just walked away. What? I was confused. Was I not going to get punished? He walked to the kitchen and I trailed after him, hanging back. He just walked over to the alcohol cabinet and poured himself a drink. Then, he say down at the kitchen island, facing away from me.

Did I seriously get out of a punishment? The tension in my muscles slowly started to dissipate until he set the glass down and turned, crossing his arms.

"You've been gone for a while."

"Yes sir, when the Crafts found me they said I had been in bad condition, I was unconscious for three days. Otherwise I would've returned earlier. "

"I don't remember asking for an excuse."

I incline my head. "I'm sorry sir."

"Your mother is upstairs. Go get her, then come back down here. "

This was where the punishment was coming, and it was going to be bad, I could already tell. I walked up the stairs quickly, no use delaying the inevitable, it would only make it worse. I knocked on my mom's door, telling her dad had asked for her downstairs. Then I walked back down with her behind me.

Dad handed her a glass of whiskey as she entered the kitchen. "Wanna know where shes been all this time?"

My mom raised an eyebrow and looked at me. "So she's back. Where?"

"Apparently the whore took up residence with a family of four guys. You can guess what she's been doing this whole time. "

I went to interject. "No, it's not like that! They just took care of me, I had gotten frostbite and I was literally freezing on the street after you kicked me out! I was unconscious for almost the whole time! I wasn't sleeping with them! "

"A likely story. Either way, you're about to regret it. Don't pull that shit again."

Before I could respond, a hand cracked against my face. I felt a fist drive into my ribs. My arms were yanked behind me, I was forced into a painful position.

"It's gonna be a long night, princess, buckle up."

---

Meanwhile, the Crafts were debating their options. As soon as Phil got back to the car, Techno spoke up. "We all know she's going to be beaten to a pulp in there. Why did we let her just go home?"

Phil responded with a calm voice but a displeased face. "We can't force her to stay Tech. As much as I don't want to send her to those monsters, we can't do anything until she lets us. She should trust us, plus it's not a good idea to make her life decisions for her."

Wilbur spoke up. "She doesn't even know we're an option though! We'd gladly take care of her but she doesn't know to come to us! "

Tommy was quiet, which was unusual. When he spoke, he didn't speak in his normal loud voice. "I think we should tell her we could be an option. The foster homes where you'd be hurt but you had nowhere to go were the worst. She should at least be able to spend the bad nights with us."

"We can't just tell her we know though! I only know because I saw the bruises as the Blade. "

"We can just offer her sanctuary. She can choose whether or not to use it. As we build trust, we can talk about a more permanent solution with her. Don't push her for anything though." Phil spoke. In the end, they agreed on that plan.

Wilbur shot her a quick text saying "we loved having u! Feel free to swing by any time u need us, no matter how early or late! :)" and that was that for the time being.

---

My whole body hurt. I was sore in places that shouldn't be sore, bruises all over me. It hurt to walk, to stand, to exist. I wanted to cry. I think that was the worst it has ever been. I wasn't sure if my arm was fractured or not, not like I could get it checked. I wrapped it as best I could with what I had, then peeked at my phone. I saw the text from Wilbur and smiled. I let myself hope that, since they knew, they could help me. Maybe I could get out of this hellhole. Deep down, I knew it wasn't true, but a girl can hope, which is exactly what I planned on doing.

It was a Tuesday, so I had to go to school. I went back to the routine that I was so used to, the everyday lifestyle from before. Make breakfast, out of the house by the time mom and dad were up. Go to school. Do the shit that needed to be done. Class, homework, repeat. I had my lab in chem, but I hadn't gotten to write a pre-lab for it, so I was behind everyone. I had two tests that I hadn't been able to study for, so I'm like 90% sure I failed them both. Overall, it was stressful. I missed the Crafts. I wished more than anything that I had a family to fall back on. They were so lucky.

At least I was able to slip by my parents after school. I made dinner, then went to my room, having downed whatever scraps I could sneak, not wanting to risk an argument and possibly beating tonight. Laying in my bed, working, I slipped into a rhythm of work. I was only pulled out when I heard a knock at my window. I went to the window to see Blade, right on my second story balcony.

After I got over my jumpscare of seeing him, I opened the door, letting him in.

"Hi, I'm so glad you came by! I had to thank you for the other night, I'm so sorry I bothered you so late, but you probably saved my life with that favor. Thank you for getting me to a safe place."

He just nodded. "Why were you outside in the first place? "

"Um, I got in a fight with my parents. so I left."

He crossed his arms. "Don't bullshit me. You were kicked out."

I sighed. "Yeah. I was kicked out."

"You know, if that happens again, just call the Crafts. They loved you. They'd rather take you in again than let you freeze."

"Are you sure? They're so nice, I don't want to take advantage of that."

"You're not. They offered. I just said I'd pass along the message."

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. They liked me? They wanted me around? That was more than I had ever hoped. At least I knew he wasn't lying, because this was literally Techno.

"How do you even know them so well?" Probably not the best idea, playing dumb, but I kind of wanted to push a little bit. Learn a bit more.

"We're close. They know a lot about me, and I know a lot about them. We've gotten each other out of some bad situations before. I trust them."

I nod. "How much did you tell them about me? Really? They said not much, but they seemed to know quite a bit about my living situation."

"I told them you're parents didn't seem very nice, and I didn't know the extent of it but I knew you were being hurt. "

At least he wasnt lying to me. He reminded me of techno, even after only knowing him for a short time. He had the same blunt responses to questions, where it seemed clear that he wasn't lying, but he wasn't trying to cushion or sugarcoat anything either. I appreciated it.

"Well, again, I wanted to say thank you for getting me to a safe place. I really appreciate it. I probably would've had a very long night if you hadn't picked up. Um, I'm not sure how the favor business works, so do I owe you one for that? Because it was pretty big. A lot bigger than just letting you stay here for 10 minutes. "

"Nah. We're even now."

I nod. "Ok. Um, can I ask why you came by? Not to be impolite, I'm just curious. "

"Just checkin on you."

"Oh." I was surprised, I didn't expect that. "Thanks?"

" No problem. so you're ok, right? "

"Yeah-"

"Sorry, I'll reword that. You're not okay, clearly, but if it ever gets too much, call me or go to the Crafts. Seriously."

"It's nothing I can't handle."

"Its nothing you should have to handle."

"Its okay. I'm used to it."

For the first time, his tone changed from monotone to slightly agitated. "You shouldn't be!"

I bite my cheek at the change, immediately backing down. "Okay. I'll call you if I need anything."

"Don't just say that to make me happy. I'm sorry for raisin' my voice at you. But do call. We're here. "

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Uh, I'm gonna head out now though. Still gotta patrol tonight. "

"Alright. Bye! And thank you again!"

Part of me was screaming not to trust them, they were villains. But a tiny bit of me just wanted to call, and ask for help, because I knew that they were kind and patient and everything I had ever dreamed of in a family. It's fine, I tell myself. I'll survive. I have until now.

[diabolikpersonals]

shin cl endings!!

euphoria end:

as carla gets ready to kill, yui sticks to shin and declares she won't let go of him no matter what. carla seems like he won't be stopping anyway, so kino's like "EAT THIS, FOUNDER" and slaps a magic-sealing talisman on him. (it's so lucky that kino got to take his phone and a talisman into this world with him lol, it feels like he's cheating)

shin casts his weapon aside......and PUNCHES carla super hard. then he yells his monologue about how he always looked up to him at him, and screams at him to come back. this seems to work, because carla looks dizzy for a bit, then he's like "ohh yeah I know who you are" YAY!!! yui bursts into tears about it, and shin's like "dont cry!!" and she points out that he looks like he's gonna cry too lol...he's really happy...I'm glad, shin...!!

"[because of the false memories] I even pointed a blade at you" (carla I don't mean to be an asshole but you've done that before without false memories lmao)

while those 3 are in their own world, kino leaves without saying goodbye, which makes me wanna die. like where are u going? aren't we a team? we still dont know how to get out of here?? kino we're friends???? COME BACK???? they notice he's gone later and yui thinks to herself that they'll definitely meet again.

anyway about endzeit. carla hasnt had any flair-ups or pain in the whole time he's been here. from this he deduces that the world they're in is like a bubble of space and time, so the reason his condition hasn't changed is because there isn't an actual flow of time here. someone must've made this place with magic, so it must have like, a core? and if we can find that core then we can probably escape. that must be the church! (we were already on our way to the church to solve the whole chess puzzle thing, so this explanation wasn't really needed, which I think is super funny lmao. he just told us we're on the right track basically)

.......kino, from afar, watches them head for the church. he says he wanted to go together though.......sniff.......but he can't now that carla's there, because his true identity might be exposed. I'm too emotional about this ;-; get home safely to yuri and then keep in touch later, ok...? it kinda sounds like you think this friendship is over, but that's too sad, so let's stay friends, ok??......

carla's big plan is "let's blow up the church." I really thought there was gonna be something to do with the chess board floor and the stone statues, but sure, that'll PROBABLY work. (if yelling at the sky worked in yuma's route then I'll believe anything will work.) so through shin's raw power we Tear That Fucking Building Down and the whole world collapses around us and we wake up in the real world, in eden! it worked because of course it did

socrates the magical sphere of light (which still cracks me up) appears and gives us his whole explanation which I've typed out a bunch of times now and don't care to explain it again. it's in the prologue. we get it

back at banmaden, shin and yui talk about all the shit they went through. shin always believed his brother would remember him, and it was that belief that eventually got them out of there. because of that, shin feels a little more confident in himself now. (aww!! happy for u, buddy!) in the end, he took down the church without relying on his brother too. yui agrees that he's even cooler now, and shin's like "then I'll have to make you fall in love with me even more!" and he takes her into the hall and asks her to dance. (he's talking like a gentleman ehehe) yui steals his cool "I'll always be by ur side" line before he can say it lmao. super cute ending!!

labyrinth end (fuck I'm scared):

carla tries to grab yui but shin's like "she's the one thing I won't give u!!" and he fights back. in this ending, rather than using his trump card, kino uses a bomb made of...pepper? and he tells shin to wolf out. shin and yui escape together, and kino says he'll meet up with them later. ...but he doesn't. (FUCK this is what I was scared of)

instead of kino, the one who meets them at the abandoned house is.........carla. it seems like kino revealed their whereabouts. they fight again, cuz shin won't give up yui. there's a ton of blood on my screen as shin gets slashed over and over then he collapses. carla takes yui away. shin begs him not to, and he and yui reach out for each other, but they can't reach...!

yui gets chained up in the violet dungeon with kino and shin, who were also caught. (hey, at least we're reunited?) they stay there like that for some amount of time, yui isn't sure. carla, in the meantime, has been busy destroying the other houses—killing everybody else. he comes there often to suck yui's blood and totally ignore shin and kino.

shin and kino are getting driven crazy by the smell of her blood every time. yui approaches shin while he's barely conscious, begging for it (this is so sexy help help help) and lets him have her blood. kino, also starving, bites her too. (wait, if you guys could bite her even while tied up all this time, why were you starving? whatever, I won't question it lol) so yui is gonna be trapped here forever, supplying 3 guys with her blood.

...it ends like that. wait, that wasn't bad at all. that was really hot actually. and I didnt even have to watch anybody die. this route was great!! even the bad end was fun! >:D

[hungeringheart]

hi! i was wondering if u did session analysis(es?) and i just wanted to ask if u could do an analysis for muse of void (troll), heir of hope, thief of breath, prince of blood (troll) and maid of doom. if you dont wanna do my request its fine! also love ur classpect analysis :D

It's been a minute! I'm sorry it took so long, I just saw "muse of void" and knew I'd have to give this one a particular level of think because it's such an interesting and uncommon classpect.

I think it's so uncommon and interesting because most rp groups within the fandom would never in a hundred million years let you bring in a Muse -- oh power creep this oh narrative focus that, you know, that type of thing. The usual mechanics measuring you get stuck into with people you don't know well and trust. So usually people make muses for fanventures or small closed things with friends -- and on that account I want to say, thank you as always for letting me at your characters to turn them over and put them in situations!

I don't acknowledge this enough, but when I write these posts I do my best to strike a balance between analysis according to my tastes and respecting the creative intent of the asker. Sometimes I can't obviously see it, and some people like to be vague in their asks because they want to see my take on something they're doing differently anyway -- but the sentiment is there!

I also quite like that you've specified everybody's species. Mind you, I do tend to assume your trolls are Alternian if not given any other context, and I might suggest a few things pertaining to my fanworld if I think it could help you think some things through. But the species context helps enormously!

Now that we've got preliminaries out of the way, let's get cracking.

Dramatis Personae

Trolls

Muse of Void

Prince of Blood

Humans

Heir of Hope

Thief of Breath

Maid of Doom

Lay of the Land

As usual, we're starting off by establishing the general status of our classpects. There's a bit to get through, so I've helpfully made some subheadings.

Hope

In my session analysis I usually say that the presence of an Heir means that their aspect is in a position to nurture them, but also in decline such that it requires an heir, a person to whom it (the aspect, in the sense of a programmed environmental preset or in the sense of a semi sapient force) can legally transfer its power, pass its torch.

In our case, that aspect is Hope.

Now, Hope is often scanned as optimism and literal actual hope and faith, but I would argue it also represents perseverance; one of its consistent symbols in the narrative is this idea of an unstoppable force, like a shonen protagonist or your friend that is somehow capable of ignoring all indications of reality when pursuing a dream. It's associated with angels, heralds and messengers of What Must Be -- you can't go protagonistier than divine approval of your pursuits!

When a hero of Hope is fully realized they can look at the rules and the realistic limits of a situation, say "nah but for real tho" and skip merrily right on through on the strength of their ability to ignore the haters. Aranea at least is of the opinion that Jake's aspect is "unrivaled 8y any other", and it's easy to see why - it's got big damn hero written all over it!

Not to say that you can't weight your aspects anydamnhow you like, of course. That depends on the story you want to tell.

But it's pretty classic storytelling to say that hope and faith and belief and dreams and such is dying, and someone loyal, brave and true is there to help. On some level we could all have used a champion for our childhood gentleness.

Breath

In keeping with our previous discovery that there's very little Hope to go round, we also have an understanding that Breath -- agency, serendipity, room to breathe, narrative, limelight -- is so rare, so precious, that somebody in need might be tempted to steal or usurp it.

Now, it is possible that the lack of Breath is personal for the Thief themself -- but is that more interesting for you than nobody having much agency, and the Thief deciding "screw y'all, I got mine"?

Or let's consider for a moment that maybe they want to help their team, but they need more Breath to do that... in essence, they need to learn to claim the limelight and occupy space? Oh, now we are cooking with gas. Now we're cooking with gas.

Doom

It can mean a lot of things for Doom to have a maid. Obvious among them is that there's a need for maybe tidying up, maybe some introducing and making -- disarray, lawlessness, a general disrespect for the conventions of being. That's not surprising given this Maid's friend group! Good golly, two entire main character syndrome patients. Naturally someone has to rein them in and establish some rules.

Rules in general seem to be relaxed here, and death and decline are quite remote -- is this a good thing? Is this a bad thing? I don't know -- time will tell.

One alternative reading of the Maid of specifically Doom that could be interesting is another digression into traditional narrative -- the figure of the doomed maid.

Let's take the mythohistorical person Berurya, for example, known mainly for being the wife (and therefore in some sense, in the period, also the servant) of the scholar Rabbi Meir. She's a fairly paradigmatic example of a narrative about someone who punches above their weight (she often argued theological opinions and people cited her in formal debate, she was famously very pious, and also she was, horror of horrors, a woman). In response to this her husband's students get jealous and conspire to put her in a position where to protect her dignity, she has to honour kill herself. They then expect him to go on like he's been having a normal one, or at least they never talk about it again except the guys who started a grassroots movement of naming after her.

You see these types of characters and imageries throughout a lot of different cultures, and mostly they boil down to this idea that there are people (reduced to archetypes) who are perfectly fine and even respectable as long as they serve the needs of the powers that be (in Berurya's case, the rabbinical establishment), but the moment that they fly too close to the sun, they have to be cut down. Doom is positively about justice and law and destiny (which is what doom meant to the Anglo-Saxons), but it can also be read as being about death, decay, judicial punishment, and yes, cutting down tall poppies...

Homestuck has an unfortunate (for your Maid) precedent for Maids -- underappreciated, servile, in some way sacrosanct figures -- as scapegoats and sufferers, and Doom is canonically also an aspect of suffering. I sure hope Doom doesn't turn on this poor individual right at the moment when they believe the rules that protect them would be most applicable! I sure hope they don't have their expectations and sense of effifacy built up only to have to resist their being torn down!

Blood

This is a lovely segue into a classpect that works really well thematically with Doom -- Blood represents connection, obligation, comradeship, change, revolution, mutation, connection, inheritance.

We do need to make a note of the fact that our Prince of Blood is a troll. For them, then, Blood is also fundamentally about caste and fitness and predestination in a way it probably isn't for your humans -- unless it is, but you'd know that better than me.

The duality of Princes -- do they destroy their aspect or destroy with its power? -- and their theming, which we can read as monarchic or as judicial (Nasi, the title of the president of the Sanhedrin, can be translated Prince or President), is similarly dualistic. Are they tyrants or mediators? Can you be both?

Regardless of their approach, a Prince in the game means the aspect is at a zenith of relevance -- Dirk's Heart aspect and his callousness with it was sort of a central thing of the alpha session -- and it's in their hands to some extent where their thing goes from there, up or down. They have dominion and they're free to use it as they like, define it, reform it -- like a Sylph, but more selfish, almost.

For the trolls this means a particularly harsh society, and for everyone it means that whatever the nature of their Blood, it's important. Maybe the troll species of your Prince inflects Blood for your human players too; maybe, if you like, your text is fundamentally focused on the implications of heritage in a way that Homestuck very deliberately avoids being.

Void

There is an argument to be made for the idea that Void is irrelevant to your game -- or nearly so, at first. Muses inspire and command (or command through) their Aspect, which is huge, but... it's a muse. It's the dinkiest most passive passive class, and in my particular balance oriented reading a Muse commands the aspect that's initially or eventually weakest and least relevant in the session. Calliope had zero room to learn or grow, and Caliborn blew up most of Space. That's a thing that he definitely actually did.

Put simply, your game is chockablock stuffed full of random pointless shit. No one has the time or desire to stop for a bit and do nothing; there's no mystery, they've all lost the plot of what they're doing and the reverence due to the thing in the background, the fear, the unknown. Minmaxing is expected.

If your troll religion is Horrorterror-oriented, this is a good time to say that's in decline too -- the level of abject don't give a fuck is so profound that the Muse may well believe they're the only person who really looks and sees anything at all in the world. That's a miserable way to be; they're probably not very effective, maybe even maladjusted.

But they don't have to be. After all, there are powers in the abyss, which are there and Ą̴̪̜̤̣̥͍̗̆̈́̏̇̾̅̈́͝ḻ̵̬̱̳̙͈̰̳͙͑́̎̐w̷̟̤͎͎͉͔͑̂̈́á̸̢̳̮̇̈́̽̒̍y̵̹̰̝͇̝̹̺̖̾̊̋̏ͅs̴̨͇͇̰͙͎̯̆̽͌̆͜ ̴̣͙̝͇͍͙̪͍͔́̉̽͗̃̚̕͝ẅ̴͙̼̭̹́̽̽͛̏̉͜i̸̛̖̘̮̤̱̳̖̎̀̔͑̂͘l̵̢̯͈̅͛̅̿̐́̾́̚l̴̜̝̙̪͕̔́̋ ̷̼̓͋͊̒͑́́̔̔b̷̳́̔͊̈̇̀̈́̊͊e̵͇̩͑̓͋̑͝.

Whoops! Got a little eldritch there for a second.

The big thing about Muses is that when realized, they can affect their aspect as much as it does them -- and in Void's case that means that our Muse here has the potential to seriously course correct the narrative, to restore Void to prominence and force everyone else to take time to reconsider things and reanalyze the space they occupy. For especially the Maid, that might be important...

From the top, now

First things first, no one's breeding any frogs, and no one has any do-overs. You'll also note I didn't do any ominous red text evoking Caliborn, and that's intentional too -- no Time aspect means that it's possible, as I've just realized, for this universe to be outside of the cancerous frog branch of SBURB.

So what does the game look like? How do they play?

I think the human kids start playing first, and they find their game a bit of a mess; hopeless, directionless, and kind of broken down systematically. The trolls play their own two-player game, which as far as they know is thematically about analyzing their society (through blood as caste and void as religion and both as what a person owes to society), and fail -- but the Muse leverages the Terrors and the Prince leverages their sense of decency, and off they go through the Ring and into an adjacent universe. I think they might begin as Exiles for two of the human players.

While the Maid runs around trying to facilitate the Hope player and keep the Breath player on course (their aspects are opposing along the axis of attitude to destiny, it's not easy), the Prince and Muse disagree (and maybe balkanize the human kids) as to what would be the most helpful form of intervention. That could be dangerous, but on the other hand, for now, their universe is coming to be still and quiet... there's a long window between when it becomes noticeable that an end is coming and when an end does come.

And oh, what sorts of things they could all get up to then!

Of course, in your own universe, mileage will vary...

Bonus rambling: a brief aside about an interesting point of mixed species sessions.

In a fundamental way, if there's no time travel and cultural anthropology involved, there's a very limited window of time in which one group of young people can communicate their worldview to another. Culture shock is real and sometimes strikes a long time after you think you've assimilated.

Children handle it better than adults on a lot of levels, but not on all of them. How much worse is a time limit if the people it's imposed on can't communicate about important issues?

Take Alternia: they have a caste system. In a group of human friends who don't have one, informal deference on the basis of social status just doesn't really usually happen. And in caste societies we do have, well, we have all kinds of social movements and changes ongoing.

Even insomuch as we have castes, for the most part, they don't affect our children in the way that trolls' castes do because they're partly morphological. We can infer from the existence of hemoanons that the phenomenon of caste is much like our phenomenon of sex-based gender for trolls -- the biological foundations are murky, but the sociological realia connected to them are attributed to innate traits and not really questioned.

This is a little like caste based politeness and a little like our binary gender in human societies so far, but stay with me -- I think there actually are certain aspects of the hemospectrum that are at some level instinctive. The castes correspond to castes in eusocial insects, and by that analogy we may assume that trolls in person a) can instantly tell what socially constructed caste a troll belongs to by their morph, and b) have some ant-brain level of very broad inborn behaviour about it.

It's always a good idea to consider your caste worldbuilding when you write little guys in opposition to each other and to humans -- how does your system respond to the species having internet? How does your humans' culture interface with it? Is it different by region, by planet?

Well, that's all for now, I think.

Thank you for sticking around this long!

[historianeglecta]

isabella borgia: i have never taken the high road but i tell other people to isabella borgia: because then there is more room for me on the low road

[allisonlol]

Hello can I request Fyodor, Sigma and Nikolai when they see their s/o wiping of their kiss?

a/n: anon i just want you to know that this is probably one of my most fav requests ever?? plz it's so funny

warnings: none? maybe the tiniest bit suggestive in nikolai's

(Fyodor, Nikolai, Sigma) When You Wipe Off Their Kiss

Fyodor

first of all let me just say you got some nerve to do this to HIM

but regardless, you'd thought it'd be a funny lil prank to try in an attempt to get a reaction

on this day, fyodor had been holed up in his office for hours so you'd prepared some tea for him <3

you brought it to his office, and he gives you a quick smile as you place it on his desk

fyodor gestures for you to come closer before grabbing your arm and pulling you down to give you a kiss on the cheek

whispers "thank you dear" in your ear after too 😳

plz you almost get too distracted to follow thru with your prank. but you pull yourself together and stand back up, wiping off the kiss with the back of your hand

you act as if nothing happened tho, and say "you're welcome" with a smile before turning to leave again

fyodor stops typing for a second, and out of the corner of your eye you see him shoot you a glance

there's zero emotion on his face so you can't tell how he's feeling

since he doesn't say anything, you leave the room and it's a few more hours until you see him again

but once you do, this mf ignores you?? straight up walks past you without even a glance??

barely acknowledges you when you speak too; the most you'll get out of him is a hum in response 😥😥

fr gives you the cold shoulder until you come crying back to him about how it was a prank and that u want his affection again

fyodor stares down at you coldly until breaking into a smirk and pulling you against him, saying some "is this what you want now??"

Nikolai

why would u wanna give this man an excuse to be even more annoying than he already is?? just kidding

you and nikolai have a history of playing pranks on each other so you figured this would be a great way to get back at him

so this night, once nikolai had gotten home from a day of wreaking havoc, he went to greet you & gave you a kiss on the cheek

you gave him one back but then immediately after wiped your cheek hella aggressive with your sleeve

obviously nikolai notices and he squints down at you before grabbing you and giving you two more kisses

but you wipe those off just as fast and that's when he's had enough 😐

crosses his arms all bitchily and looks away, saying some "well i guess i just won't give you a kiss ever again"

mf we know that is not true but go off

ur having too much fun to tell him it's a prank quite yet so you just smile at him and point to your cheek, asking for another

bro cracks immediately but instead of kissing your cheek he full on makes out with you?!

has a GRIP on your neck so we know damn well you aren't pulling away

after that you ain't even in the mood to continue the prank anymore...

nikolai may have caught onto your prank but hey, at least it ended up working out in your favor!

Sigma

nooooo why would u do this to him

nikolai probably set you up to it ngl

you both were curious as to what his reaction would be, so you told nikolai you'd do it just so he'd shut up LMAO

on the day you decided to do it, you had just gotten off work and went to see sigma at the casino, per usual

you meet him in the manager's office, where he gets up to greet you and gives you a lil kiss on the forehead

pls, sigma was so happy to see you and you respond by feigning disgust and wiping off the kiss??

and i mean you SCRUBBED that shit off. pulled your sleeve over ur hand and wiped aggressively till ur forehead was bright red??

sigma just looks at you like "..." while his smile slowly fades 😕😕

"oh-i'm sorry? was there anything i did wrong...?"

omg stop he looks so sad & worried. like he reaches out a hand to touch you but then thinks better of it and pulls back

his hand is literally shaking bro apologize rn

now you feel really bad and don't even have the heart to continue the joke 😭

"honey...no. it was just a prank nikolai wanted me to do!" relief floods his face once you say that

later on, you explain to nikolai what had happened and he LOSES IT

meanwhile sigma's sitting in the back with his arms crossed, all huffy while you and nikolai laugh smh

taglist: @deadmitochondria @miycutie  @scul-pted @exorcisedstraydog  @chuuyasboots @shy-socially-awkward-intovert  @stygianoir @sonder-paradise  @nervousyetconfidentway @beautiful-is-boring @alexaizawa @irethepotato @serenareiss

[m-jelly]

Last one! We made it here!

So I was re-reading your first ask w said soul anon, bc I love soulmates AUs. So it had me thinking, what if roles where reversed?

Not necessarily soulmate Au bc I don't wanna take Soul anon's position... But in a modern Au where reader is this detective, maybe specialized in very violent crimes (like Mindhunter or smth), and Levi's this house husband, works at a teashopans stuff.

And he's always so worried abt her bc she might get followed or end up getting hurt, so when he asks her why she doesn't stop working in such a dangerous job, she breaks telling him how people's lives are in her hands.

I had this idea while watching and reading Mindhunter, which is one of my favorites series and books, I hope u have fun writing my requests. See u soon 🙃💕

I LOVE mindhunter. It's so good.

How your husband worries.

Pairing: Levi x Reader

Genre and tags: Modern AU, mindhunter inspired, romance, love, fluff, angst, cute, inside Levi's head.

Concept: Levi runs a teashop and is happily married to you. Levi thinks the world of you and believes you are incredible and strong. However, Levi's head is full of worries about you and your dangerous job. Levi knows you're an agent in the FBI and you deal in dangerous cases, but you can't say too much. Levi wants you to leave the job so you can be safe. When you come home after a mission, you both have a chat in his shop. When he closes up you crack and tell him just what's really been going on and why you can't just leave.

Fresh tea leaves filled the air, their scent engulfed the room when hot water was lavishly poured over. A long sigh drifted out of Levi's chest as he felt peace in his job. He carefully poured the floral tea into a china cup before presenting it to his customer.

She might be dead. She's supposed to be home now and she's not. You're going to be widowed.

Levi flinched at the voice in his head. He clicked his neck and served the next customer. He poured a generous amount of honey into a cup and added warm lemon tea.

She might have been kidnapped and there's nothing we can do about it. We're just some weak teashop owner.

Levi slammed the cup and the poppy seed muffin down. "Th-Thank you."

We're losing it. We can't lose her. Maybe some psycho is stalking her and will love her better than me?

He looked up and sighed. He grabbed his cleaning things and started clearing up the tables.

She's in a ditch somewhere. She's being eaten by a cannibal. She's...a man is...

Levi welled up as he thought about a dreadful scene. "No. It's not true."

"What's not true?" You peered at Levi's face. "You okay? You look pale."

Levi dropped his things and yanked you into his arms. He held you tightly and inhaled your scent. "I missed you so much."

You hugged him back. "I missed you too." You let him go and kissed him. "I'm going to help myself to tea and cake."

"Sure."

Tell her! Say something! She needs to know how much she worries me.

Levi called your name. "Can we talk?"

You hummed and licked your fingers after handling a cake. "Sure." You sat down behind the counter and smiled. "What's going on?"

He sat down and hummed. "I love you deeply. You're the love of my life, but I worry about you."

"I worry about you too." You held his hands and smiled. "The world is a dangerous place."

He gripped your hands tightly. "I want you to leave your job."

You stared at Levi for a while. "Huh?"

He locked eyes with you. "I want you to leave your job. I can't take it anymore. I don't know if or when you'll come home. I'm scared you won't."

You sighed. "Levi."

He shuffled closer. "I don't want a divorce. I don't want to find anyone else to love in a safe job. I want you. I don't want anyone else. I want you to leave your job for your own safety. I want you to live and be with me."

You squeezed Levi's hands. "Can we talk about this when you're closed?"

He nodded and released your hands. "Okay."

"It's just some stuff I will mention the public can't hear or know."

"Okay." He cleaned up as you ate, then he closed up shop. "Alright, we're alone." He looked over at you to see you were crying. He ran over and held you. "Don't cry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

You sniffed and clung to Levi. "Sorry Levi." You pulled back and rubbed your tears away. "I would love to leave my job and be with you here in this shop, but I'm scared to leave. If I leave, how many lives will be lost? I stop killers and save missing people. I work so hard to save lives, but it's all too much sometimes. I had to interview a killer today. He mutilated a child beyond recognition and you know why he did it? Because the kid laughed too much outside his home."

Levi held you. "I'm so sorry you went through that. I'm sorry."

You held Levi tightly. "It was hell, but because of seeing him, I was able to catch another child killer before he could hurt another. I saved a little boy."

He smiled at you. "I'm so proud of you." He covered your face in kisses. "So damn proud. You're incredible."

You smiled. "Thank you."

"You put yourself through so much, but thankfully there's more people out there just like you fighting."

You sniffed. "There's a great team behind me." You frowned a little. "I think...I think I should leave the FBI and move to a local police force." You smiled a little. "We could move to a nice country town and move the teashop too."

Levi smiled. "I'd love that." He kissed you and hummed. "I think it'd be perfect for us."

You nodded. "It would. I'll take time off work for us to organise it all."

"I can't wait." He grabbed his phone. "There are so many nice places we can go to. Of course, you know what safe small towns there are."

You nodded. "I do." You giggled and looked at locations. "We'll find our new home and have peace."

[whats-wild-to-you]

Always

"You're going to do what?" You ask Jay, certain that must've heard wrong.

"I've been thinking about it for a long time!" He answers, casually shrugging his shoulders.

"Did you talk to someone, because it is news to me!"

"It's not a big deal."

"Not a big deal? Jay, not only did you retire your position as CEO recently and announced in the same breath that your retirement as an artist is imminent too, now you're telling me you want to leave South Korea? Not a big deal? That's a huge deal!"

"Roc Nation wants me to put out an album and Won Soju is doing really well in the States, I need to capitalize on that, cement my legacy! While I'm still young."

"Oh jeez, not that 'I'm getting old' speech again!"

You make a disgusting face, but giggle when Jay makes fun of your face.

"But it's true! Soohyuk agrees with me too!"

"Does he? I'll go talk to him right now!"

After graduating from Yale with a degree in journalism and political science you were immediately offered a job at the New York Times. It was a dream job for sure and when you were about to accept, you received a devastating phone call.

Your mother back in South Korea was very sick, so you left everything, packed your bags and moved to Seoul.

But landing a job as a professional writer in Seoul was way more difficult than you had imagined. All that was offered to you was to write gossip for some online news outlets. Desperately, you reached out to the New York Times, explained your situation, and luckily they were willing to hire you as a freelance writer. Not ideal, but better than nothing, you thought and dove right in. You wrote articles for them for 3 years and eventually you made a name for yourself. In fact, you became so popular, CNN wanted to hire you to work from Washington. That happended 2 months ago. You told your family about it and they were excited for you, and since your mom was doing a lot better, nothing was holding you back.

"I really wanna go!" You were having chimaek with Hyunjung at AOMG. Besides your family, she was the only other person who knew about the offer from CNN.

"What will I do if you leave?" She said over and over. You were laughing, thinking back about how the guys at AOMG reacted when they met you for the first time. Shortly after, Sunghwa, Kiseok, Sungwoo and Jay joined you.

"I knew I smelled fried chicken!" Kiseok said.

Hyunjung shared the good news while you went to get more beer, and apparently everybody was happy for you. Everybody, except one.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Hey Soohyuk! Can I talk to you?"

"Sure. Come with me." He leads you to his office.

You waste no time, cutting right to the case.

"Why is Jay moving to the US?"

"What did he tell you?"

"What? Wait. What do you mean?"

Soohyuk remains silent, realizing he just made a huge mistake.

"Spill it! What do you know?"

"I think you should talk to Jay!"

You try to find Jay, but apparently he already left to attend a meeting.

Whenever you try to talk to him, he says he's busy. It's been going on for weeks. Soon you will have to move back to the US, and you need to talk to Jay before that.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, you say to yourself as you write a text to Jay.

r u cutting me off? no matter how busy u were in the past, u always made time for me :(

You know it's only a matter of time before he cracks, so you sit back and wait for his text. What you don't expect is to find Jay banging on your apartment door at 1 in the morning.

"What are you doing here this late?"

Instead of answering he asks a question as well. "How bad do you want the job in Washington?"

"How do you know?"

"Just answer me!"

"It would be a dream come true, I'm so excited I can't think about anything else."

"Ok then."

"Ok, what?"

"I was going to say no. To the whole US move thing. I didn't want to leave Seoul. I felt like I was abandoning my people. Then I talked to Soohyuk and I realized a few things."

"Yeah, I remember the whole 'if one door closes, it's because another door opened' speech."

"Hyunjung told us about Washington. She said you really wanted to go. That's when I decided to take the offer from Roc Nation."

"What does your decision have to do with me?"

"I swear you're really dense sometimes! I wanna be with you. Everywhere you go, I will follow!"

"Jay..."

"I love you! Always have, always will!"

[charlotteswriting]

how would thh cast comfort you // gn!reader -mod kaede

makoto naegi

—even though he's clueless, he'll do his best to cheer you up. his encouraging words already make you feel better, plus he'll hug you. i feel like he gives the best hugs, the hugs that makes you feel loved (i hc nagito and gonta too) he'll try to get anything you want, snacks, chocolate, candies, drinks. keyword, try. he's got like, $1, he can't buy you mcdonald's but still he passes the vibe check because he is so caring.

byakuya togami

—speaking of mcdonald's... he can and will buy you the whole company. that's it, i am out. well... he isn't the best at comforting people because he is blunt, but i feel like he'd show his love by actions, so he'll lend you his shoulder if you feel like crying. he won't complain about it but he might have a disgusted face the whole time. he is trying to get better

mondo owada

—because he doesn't want you to feel trapped inside, he'll take you out and you 2 will ride around the entire town. getting fresh air is always the best, isn't it? after the ride, he'd take you to a calming place to picnic and he would ask you what's wrong while resting his head on your lap. if it's a person bothering you, he'll get pissed at them but if it isn't, he'll be much calmer and try to come up with advice, though he isn't really good at it, he tries his best for u to feel better.

kiyotaka ishimaru

—taka might be dense at first but as soon as he notices your mood, he'll drop everything he has to do and will pay his whole attention to you. i headcanon taka likes to cook, so he'll cook with you or for you! he enjoys baking you cookies. he is actually good at giving advice, he's disappointed that you didn't come to him when you were bothered, he'll be there for you from now on and give you his love.

hifumi yamada

—i feel like hifumi would notice your bad mood but wouldn't know what to do, he'll try to crack jokes but he isn't the best joker around :'( if you have any shows you'd like to watch, he'll watch it with you and that'll be enough to cheer you up! but he talks a lot when watching, so you gotta bear with him. also man himself is comfortable like a pillow, so you can lay on him while watching it

leon kuwata

—he's bothered that you are upset, so he will do his best for you. taking you outside is one of things that comes to his mind first, walking in the streets while holding hands? yes. but if you feel like staying home, that's ok too! he is always down to cuddle. cuddle bug? cuddle bug. and yeah, he'll spoon you, so you don't feel alone.

yasuhiro hagakure

—oh no, it's so awkward. he isn't used to you being like this but he'll still try his best! another one that will take you to mcdonald's, he's a bit broke now, but who else is he going to spend his money on if it's not you? i feel like he'd joke around to lighten up your bad mood and tell you his whole life story. his memories are so terrifying that you eventually forget what's been bothering you. mission accomplished, but at what cost..? he is crying due to the nostalgia.

chihiro fujisaki

—at first he's like, is it me made you sad? :( you give him hugs all the time so it's time to payback! another one that gives the best hugs, they're so sweet. he will listen to every word you have to say patiently and at some point, he'll probably join you crying—if you aren't crying, well, he is crying alone. he'd play games with you until you are tired, it's him usually gets tired first. hearing his little snores in bed is already enough to make you smile. succeed!

kyoko kirigiri

—she can read people well, so she can say something's bothering you, so she'll be more affectionate than usual in return. kyoko will stay with you the whole time and listen to you without judging you, also i feel like she'd do some of your hobbies with you, so you'd feel better. in the end of the day, you know she believes you and it makes you feel better. kyoko will do your hair while you are ranting about your day. it comforts you.

sayaka maizono

—sayaka is geniunely sad, she cares so much. she'll take your hand and ask you if there's anything you'd want to do to feel better, she's down to anything, really. she's worried about your well being so much. like taka, she's a good cook, she'll spoil you a lot! she'll be affectionate the whole day and will not leave your side unless you are feeling better, afterwards, you tell her the reason of your sadness and she's like :0 then :( she is more clingy.

toko fukawa

—toko is aware you aren't feeling at your best, she wants to cheer you up but her low self-esteem doesn't let her. i think she's good at giving hugs, but they won't last long, because she thinks she's not respecting your boundaries. with short hugs and words that won't leave her lips, she isn't the type to comfort, but still just her presence itself helps you to feel better. she'll sit by you and will read with you, sometimes she'll even give you headpats. and i think that's really sweet.

sakura ogami

—i feel like sakura would immediately want to know the problem, so she can solve it. that would make you feel better, right? if you don't feel like talking about it yet, that's ok! she respects your privacy, but she won't leave you alone. she'd never when you are this upset! i think she'd carry you around with those big arms of hers, she knew you enjoyed a lot when she lifted you up or carried you in general. she gives good piggyback rides, too.

asahina aoi

—if you are upset, she's upset too. :( but still she's willing to make you feel better! she will want to talk about it, though that's only if you wanna. she'll take you the nearest donut shop and will buy you snacks as well when returning home. if there is no donut shop around, then she's more than excited to bake some with u! she's so passionate about it. you can't help but laugh at the way she fails baking, she is embarrassed about it but hey! at least you are smiling again

celestia ludenberg

—she knows you good enough to tell you are lying or not, pretending doesn't work on her, peace was never an option. celeste probably going to offer watching movies, i feel like she would like k-drama. also don't @ me but she will play uno with you, and no, don't try to change my mind. i also hc celeste likes birdwatching, there are many things in her mind to do with you. but if you don't like any of these things, she'll just shrug, giving in and joining you, staying with you the whole time.

mukuro ikusaba

—mukuro isn't great at comforting, but she'll not let you stay in a bad mood, either! she'd say you nicest things ever, probably about how much he admires you and stuff like that, well, she does. she is really embarrassed about showing affection, but still will embrace you, just like how you embraced her. will let you rest your head on her shoulder and you'll tell her about what's bothering you. the whole time she has a serious face but in mind she's forcing herself not to have a heart attack because of the closeness

junko enoshima

—now now, the only person she doesn't get bored around is upset? no, we can't have that. thanks to her analyst talent, she could already tell the problem and told mukuro to take care of it. while it's getting solved, she'll spend all of her time with you now! she'll tell you you're the best one around and you have no words for that because you know it's true. she's not the great comforter because her personality changes literally each second, but that's fine, too.

hey hey! this wasn't requested by anyone but still i felt like writing because i was kinda upset lately, and this idea popped out! anyway, hope you enjoy this! tomorrow, i'll be having my exams so i better get back to study :) i won't write for a week and few days but when i am done with them, i'll get back to writing requests immediately!! ily!!! 💖💕

[your-local-bnha-writer]

BNHA Incorrect Quotes

Warning(s): Swearing

Word Count: 736

A/N: I thought yall would like this lmao

I don’t own any of these quotes or the art!

———————————————————————

Y/n : [Trips on nothing]

Bakugou: Ha! You're so clumsy!

[5 minutes later]

Bakugou: [aggressively punching the air] What's your fucking problem huh? What did they ever do to you?!

Y/n: *showing up late for a meeting*

Aizawa: You're late

[YALL ARE THE SAME AGE]

Y/n: You're stunning

Aizawa [blushing] You're forgiven

Y/n: [Eating gummy bears]

Kaminari: Can I have a slice?

Y/n:

Kaminari:

Y/n: Sure

Jirou: I'm gay

Y/n: Hi gay, I'm Y/n

Jirou:

Y/n:

Jirou: For the last fucking time-

Kirishima [drunk]: What time is it?

Y/n: Huh?

Kirishima: [looks at the microwave that has 53 secs on it]

Kirishima: 53? Fuck it's late

Y/n: Kirishima no-

Todoroki [trying to get Y/n's attention]: *quiet incomprehensible mumbling*

Y/n: Sorry what was that?

Todoroki: *even quieter incomprehensible mumbling*

Y/n: You have to speak up

Todoroki [at full volume] FUCK.

Y/n: Trust fall!

Bakugou [scoffing from across the room]:

I'm not gonna catch you

Y/n: Trust. Fall.

Bakugou: I said no-

Y/n: [falling]

Bakugou: FCK ASHJDSKJ [scrambling over, diving down to cushion your fall]

Deku: I need you

Y/n: For?

Deku: Ever.

Y/n: [voice cracking and tears in her eyes]

Oh. Okay.

Y/n: I may be short but that doesn't mean I can't be tough! [aggressively tries to open a Caprisun]

Shoji:

Shoji: Do you want me to open that for you?

Y/n: [voice cracks] Yes please

Y/n: Wait, did you just flirt with me?

Kaminari: Have been for the past year but thanks for noticing

Y/n: Iida wants to play scrabble again, but it's gonna be a nightmare!

Deku: Scrabble? Scrabble's great!

Y/n: Yeah, but Iida uses words like iridium and I use words like pig.

Y/n: Hey Tokoyami, wanna hear a funny joke?

Tokoyami: I'm more into dark humour

Y/n: [Turns off the light] So the joke goes...

Uraraka: Who's turn is it to give the pep-talk?

Deku: [sighs] Bakugou

Bakugo: Fuck shit up out there and don't die

Y/n [wiping away a tear]: beautiful

Y/n: I want him to know that I love him

Aizawa: Sleep and then tell him later

Present mic: Scream that you love him into his ear

All might: Go to them and release your true feelings

Y/n: Its Bakugo

All might, Aizawa and Present Mic: Just slap him, he'll get it

Y/n: Listen Todoroki, anyone who doesn't like you can honestly fight me, I'll obliterate them!

Todoroki: [Sadly raises his fists]

Todoroki: okay, just make it quick

Y/n:

Todoroki:

Y/n:

Y/n: LISTEN HERE YOU AMAZING, DEPRESSED, PIECE OF WONDERFUL SHIT-

[Car full of boys slowly pull up next to Momo and Y/n while they're walking home from the beach]

Momo and Y/n: [Thinks they're about to get catcalled] f u c k

Kirishima: Yo!

Momo and Y/n: [sweats nervously]

Kirishima: Where'd you get the BOBA!

Momo and Y/n:

Y/n: Oh! It's just down this street on the right!

Bakugou: GOD I fucking TOLD you KIRISHIMA

Y/n: Stop drinking so much coffee.

Todoroki: No, coffee helps with depression.

Y/n: No that's not tr-

Todoroki: More espresso, less depresso

Bakugou: Alright, listen up you little shits!

Y/n:

Bakugou: Not you Y/n, we're thrilled you're here

Y/n: [says something dumb]

Iida: Remind me again why I'm so in love with you

Y/n: [smiles]

Iida: Ah, of course

Shinso: [walking in with a big box] Hey babe, what would you say if I came home with 4 cats?

Y/n: What's in the box?

Shinso:

Y/n: What's in the box Shinso?

Shinso: ...I think you already know

Y/n:

Y/n: Let them in

Y/n: i aM A MENACE TO SOCIETY

(AGAIN YALL ARE THE SAME AGE)

Aizawa: [nonchalantly] Yes, you have prevented me from doing my work by being so cute

Y/n: [in near tears] I'm so sorry

Aizawa: [looks straight into the camera like Jim does in the office]

Kaminari: [staring at Y/n]

Y/n: Do you need something?

Kaminari: No, I'm just surprised you're here

Y/n: Excuse me?

Kaminari: Well aren't masterpieces meant to be in a museum?

Y/n: You need a hobby

Todoroki: I do have a hobby

Y/n: FOR THE LAST TIME BEING SAD ISNT A HOBBY

[wickedpact]

You can't just drop that "I read Forces Multiplied" bomb on us and not give a ten page written reaction.

[cracks knuckles] if u insist

nicky cant drive hc: destroyed. rip. also i loved how andy and nile stole those sports cars and were being badass and driving off the bridge & meanwhile joe and nicky were just absolutely vibing in the van

'heres the thing about power: people who have it think they deserve it' [shot of police car] i see u greg

5 whole panels being dedicated to booker not being able to unlock his door. booker not even seeing noriko sitting RIGHT THERE in the window at first. incredible

noriko being 24/7 horny was surprising. like wow all of the stuff i saw she did out of context was 100% equally horny in context as it was out of context. love that for her

i didnt think the 'andy + slavery' thing was handled as badly as everyone made it out to be when telling me about it. tho from the way it was talked about i had kind of figured the conflict between andy and nile re: slavery would be really racially charged (esp considering nile is a black american and would obvs have Thoughts on the subject in that regard) but like,, done in a cringey 'a-white-guy-obviously-wrote-it' kind of way? but it wasnt that. i mean. it makes sense that andy would be implicit in slavery through the years

i mean, like she says, is that not what people just did to each other in the aftermath of battles for thousands of years? and i really like how its pointed out that it was what she was raised with (in the beginning when you see her put shackles on that guy after the battle) but she also accepts responsibility for it and acknowledges that it was wrong and not just 'what people did'.

i like how from her expressions you can kind of tell baby andy knew it was off but she sets those feelings aside bc she felt angry. it explains how she felt but didnt make her out to be blameless in it. plus i mean. i dont know, the fact that andy was involved in a lot of morally shady stuff for 7000 years is not that wild for me. if you live that long youre just Going to be involved in some shit, and she didnt even have other immortals with her as positive community influences, she literally just did whatever the fuck she wanted for thousands of years

'i was worshipped as a god once' i mean, yeah no shit she wouldve been involved in some seriously fucked up stuff, gods were fucking scary back in the day

tldr it could use some polish but it wasnt that bad

tho everything people said about moose being boring was unfortunately a little true. sorry king i tried to be interested in you

joe and nicky writing verbal fanfiction about nile and moose was iconic. 'you seeing that?' 'i am definitely seeing that'

it was also extremely funny bc that was like 60% of their contribution to the whole comic, besides kidnapping copley. they came, they wrote some fanfic, they left. kings. at least in tog1 they had an excuse to be useless bc they got kidnapped

joe just found out his old friend who he thought was dead is alive (and also probably wants to murder them) and instead of investigating with andy he stopped to help nile up. champ.

nicky shooting noriko through andy was cool. rip to the concept since it wont happen in tog2

wanna see mr ejiofor deliver this line

on that note imo copley was. weirdly enough, more interesting in fm than in tog1. to me at least. the fact that andy let him live and he was so haunted by what had happened that he came back and sought them out despite knowing they would likely kill him for it bc he wanted to not only make up for what hed done but also to tell them what theyd done for the world was admittedly more interesting than andy just kind of drafting him to the cause and him going 'okie'

i like how nicky was drawn in this one. in opening fire he looks like a blob man but in fm he looks more like a very nice grampa with a very good dye job

'theres no pain like a broken heart' andy 🥺

noriko implying andy's never drowned. .. .idk about that one, she musta drowned sometime

joe and nicky came, they waxed poetic about nile's love life, they waxed poetic about grog, and then they left.

sports bras being a reason humanity is good. i mean..... okay, yeah.

i mean. wild but you cant exactly tell her shes wrong

i liked how noriko telling andy that their purpose is to make people suffer coincides with joe and nicky finding out that they actually did good all those years

joenicky in opening fire: jail for booker jail for booker for 100 years

joenicky when copley tells them he knows where booker is: WE'LL KILL YOU WHERE IS HE

joenicky when copley comes back: if your vibes come off as even remotely rancid we Will destroy you

joenicky 2 minutes later when copley helped them find booker: he made up some ground :)))) <3 lov you j cops

theyre forgiving af

moose: how old are you?? a hundred??? a thousand???

nile [vine voice]: I M 2 7 ?

alright andy you got me there

joe texts like my aunt

i dont know why noriko drowning andy in that car tickled me. Bad And Naughty Andromaches Get Put In The Pear Wiggler To Atone For Their Crimes.

the drowning sequence was cool

copley trying to talk to andy while she was like o_o at him was great

ive hit the picture limit but id seen that panel where nicky goes 'forgive me' as he kills a guy out of context and it was HILARIOUSLY anticlimactic for me to discover that there was literally no context to it. nicky just apologizes to random people he kills. i thought that guy was someone he knew or something. nope its just Some Guy that nicky didnt know from adam

nile's complaint that andy was especially brutal to the guys on the boat... i mean. . , how exactly does one kill a man with an axe and not be brutal about it?

it was funny how noriko kissed andy and the only people who seemed surprised by that were nile and also andy

nicky and joe's complete non-reaction to finding out noriko is alive And Evil Now is endlesly funny. they just left her on that boat and neither cared. i get book and nile not caring but joe and nicky knew her, and they just have 0 input on the subject of what to do with her

pinstripe suit guy!

joe and nicky and booker packing up and leaving with nile

andy blowing up at nile was A Moment tho

i dont know, i get why people didnt like the ending but its. .. . it makes more sense in the comicverse. bc the squad doesnt really. .. interact outside of jobs? i mean, think of the moon landing story in ttt. that was booker and joe and nicky doing a job and andy only showed up a for a couple minutes after it was done. or the brunch in the first issue of opening fire. the squad arent as tight in the comic, and andy often seems to do her own thing outside of work, so andy saying 'i dont want to do work anymore' and the squad being like 'alright bye then' makes more sense in this universe than the movie one

also i feel like greg was Trying to set up a thing where nile becomes the Leader of The Squad after andy dies but like. its not very well done since. . . i mean, nile hasnt spoken to booker since opening fire, (and she only knew him A Day). and shes known joe and nicky all that time, but there isnt really anything that indicates that they have any relationship at all, much less one that's grown. in all the comicverse the only time nile and nicky speak is in FM, and in that scene nicky tells nile about noriko. nile goes from someone who needs to be set aside to have background knowledge explained to her to being the Leader of the group with nothing in between. it kind of... comes out of nowhere.

on the other hand tho... i felt really bad for andy thru the whole thing. well, i always felt bad for andy, but in this one she seemed so miserable, especially since it really felt like none of the others actually.... cared about her. when noriko came back no one asked andy how she was doing (big question ik, but it wouldve showed they cared at least), nobody ever expressed any concern for her, no one even really seemed to want to be around her. in opening fire everyone was more distant than in the movie of course, but there were little moments where she would joke with joe, or nicky would try and comfort her, or stuff like that, but in FM it really felt like they just didnt really care about her. & in opening fire it felt a lot like andy's relationship with nile breathed some new life into her, but in FM it felt like all they did was argue. i get theyre not *as* close in the comics but it really felt like the only person who cared about andy at all was noriko (which was probably also how andy felt) but it just seemed to come out of nowhere. honestly i was reading and i was honestly agreeing with andy that she might just be better off if she did just die. opening fire, on the other hand, never make me feel that way

tho everyone made it sound like when the squad split up it was one of those cursed 'the found family leaves each other at the end of the journey' tropes. but guys i mean,,, this is the second installment out of three. that isnt the End. theyll come back in the third one and Dramatically Reunite to fight some baddies (probably those 'others' noriko mentioned). im guessing yitzhak fits into that too somehow.

anyways it wasnt That Bad but it made me kind of sad and the only Sweet Found Family vibes in it were when they saved booker. also they shouldve beefed up that nilemoose romance, it underwhelmed me. 6.5/10

i also ABSOLUTELY understand all of greg's comments about how you couldnt make FM directly into a movie, he always said that it had no plot and. i get it now. it really didnt have a plot sdfghjkl

[shabba-zams]

I'M NO MANIAC

Hold big regard for kinship, tradition and culture, I could give a lecture

I'm sky high - herbivore, like a turkey vulture I'm a carnivore

Canibal, I mean omnivore coz I love greens, like Popeye And Spinach, I lick bean

Flick flick, root Chakra, keep you grounded, kiss your forehead, illumination

Wham bam, burn incense this instant

Smoke in house, reminisce about my late aunt, Eugenia

Healing from a heartbreak of a love that never happened

Should never happen, wait what just happened?

You a bad bitch, downward doggy, hit it from the back, is that good B?

Meow-moo, look at that arch, Doja, Cat-Cow mi amor

Heart's aching, beneath I'm hurting although surface looks perfect

Instantly regretting the mistake I made, egghead getting laid

I was broke, couldn't think straight, Im still great, it's just that I hate

Constantly stressing, hope you not late, I'm Wylin, red fox

Sorry mate, don't put me on the spot unless we hot box

You a hot mess, you burn, guilt trip, in hell I burn, 12 stroke soul snatcher, soul searching,N2O, inhale, I burn, I'm trippin

My goodness, Zulu goddess, Tsonga royalty in her DNA, your highness hello, hi, my love I profess

Pussy power tricking, that tightness, finesse crazy like madness, she drippin

Her cookie jar I'm Double dippin, like yes ya, I praise ya, I'm smitten

You praise Ja, pet name for your small pussy... Poor lil kitten

Obsessed With fitness, admire her loyalty, I stay under her spell

First We gel, then repel, we then rebel, plz say you could not tell I fell for you girl!

I confess, your strange quirks remind me of my old ex

Guardian angel, I see your halo, okay bye! In darkness you my star

Naledi always shine bright, never dim light, eyes can adjust right?

No girl, tell me how could I not fall for you girl?

If I see you all day and night? Medicate then meditate

Last and first light I see you, it's hard to wake me up, ICU

Namaste, send u love and light. Hugging u gud nyt then imma go unless it's midnight, my pants is tight right and u hug me tight tight cutie, in my ear, QTip, u whisper get the light, deep throat  gimme the green light, tonight you looking so tasty

It's not right, lockdown got me all thirsty, see, I'm nasty

I'll eat you out, gimme a big tip, face chair, take a sit please

Gangsta champagne, notorious bubbles I sip sip, are you pleased?

You a tall glass of sexy B, I mean u sassy B, sexy beast I gotta drink, drunk

In love with your positive energy, you love the inner me and you know I'm not the enemy, I love you

Juju, like bad energy, shoo shoo, telling me to go, I don't go

Feeling ur feng shui imbalance, tryinna find balance, yoga

So much green in my blood stream, feelin like Hulk or Yoda

I'm 1 with the force, a gulf stream directing ur flow, go

Heavy flow that weigh a ton, period. I go deep, you flow deep like the Nile, you lovin it

Tid bit in denial, plz don't judge unless you take a 9 mile walk if the shoe fit

Wise mentor, needed to blow off steam, oh no you make me sing, I never meant to...

I'm spiritual, Ultralight beam, living the life of Pablo, green

I see no light, stuck in the dark, this don't feel right

Fight what I feel, fight! I know you like what I write, right? I'm still Steve like Biko, because I write what I like

You're spiritual, Ivy crown it'll be alright, fight!

Where you been? Spiritual journey, Wrote you a song of love, don't panic, it's platonic agape kind

You're kind, im sorry, please forgive me, God bless us

Never meant to sex ya, sext ya, yes ya I never meant to

Hurt ya, my day 1 let me be in your team, I'm your hype man and you my wing man, who knew, man?

I'm a new man, never wanna be in u ma'am, that's Truman, like Harry

Like Harriet, You talk truth ma'am, ur woke now, mental slavery chain breaker

Lead, take leash, give me my freedom, Tubman. Ass like Baartman, I'm joking, I'm through man!

Is it true man? You got a new man?

I'm glad you found uThando & Peace!

I see your glow in the dark , I watch you grow, from head to toe

Lock down, No sexercise, just exercise, oblique workout, body shaping up, you shake shit up

Look down, fvck shit up, I fantasize under the mistletoe, kiss kiss that phat pet peeve,

I mean the size of that cameltoe, kiss kiss like it's NYs Eve

Family Feud like Steve, We lip lock, she bad bad like Eve

Stuck with you like gridlock, bad bitch my ride or die!

The love you show, I dunno who to tell that u just ring my bell

Blue balls, plain torture, ungshaya ding dong, that just rings wrong

Playing mind games like ping pong, saw my dp then ask for my dick pic like "Big Z u got big dick print"

I tell her to quit playin and show her it's just resting, I'm a grower

Picture a Big black gun in your hand, click glock

Lick big black cock in my hand, and get a big tip

Love your big tats,small tits, nip slip, vrm vrm, you own me like pinkslip

4 play lick clit, that pink pink

Big lie like, just the tip, truth is I just wanted to hit twice, then dip twice like, dip dip

Double Pussy grip, like grip grip

Our late night tap dance routine like

Double tap like, tip-clit-grip-grip, skip, tip-clit-grip-grip

Sending mixed signals, wearing no bra, black tank top, Grey gym pants, exciting my BBC then saying NO BRA!

Apple bong is crack bong, big flop wearing your pink flip flops, I need a drink,J walk drunk, hit, bong, bang, drive, buy smoke, fly, sky, high five, YouTube The Fives, whats the matter? GBV

All lives including those you call low lives matter, no 1 deserves murder.

Deep chats kid, Katt Williams crack me up, have a break Kit Kat

I'm a lil sad but real glad u not mad at me brick brack, red fox

Need my quick fix, Red on Netflix like Raymond, cross you off my hitlist, at least at last, the blacklist, NBC

No chick flicks miss, unless you aiming to get this, BBC

I don't aim, shoot shot once and don't miss, easy, ABC

Cupid tryinna shoot me dead but misz, shit shot, no Mrs, thank God

Thot thought she a hot shot coz she smoke pot, no BS she not hot

Cold as horse shit that's not hot, bust a nut, I might not

I'm a lit lad who thinks they a big bad, Wolf, with a sick head

You heard? Sometimes it's hard when u in my bed, think with other head instead like getting head

Play dead after I beat meat, you knock-knock, I'm cumin, you come in, your bad timing is not charming

I see myself in you, pun intended, idea planted in my head

For real tho, I see your hoeish ways, long gone are my hoeish days

Sometimes I think u poison like Ivy, I'm batman, no avengers

Scavengers, a mad woman and a bad man, Savages in our own league

First punch throwers, they hate us, crack bong hitters, they not us, we avenge us,

You lead, I school ya, screw ya, liquids in ur insides like IV

Drip drip, said fuck it, big deal, do u even care how I feel? Bad state of mind, took shrumz, now I'm havin a bad trip

Craving a road trip, cruze down memory lane, replay bad clip, is it weird that I loved that silhouette video? Press play

Get liquid withit

Going toe-to-toe, I kill and bury Big Trill, made my 1st mil

Then blew it, dead lyricist, I'm just a ghost writer

I see changes, a stoner girl turn to a rave girl as the nyt ages

I once told her, trust the rock of ages like John

Serial killer with rage on Pages, I was angry at God like Sean

Now i'm easy like solving for X- Kid'o,

That's annoying, ward off tiny mosquito

Go against me, that's a non starter, kiss my ass lips

I talk shit, no stutter or slight lisp like L-Tido

In the city of gold its all or nothing, that's a no brainer

No brain huh? Black lip bastard, faith like mustard seed

Don't call me bastard, transform to Luke Cage then hit rib Cage like

Nicholas, can't stop me like an urban legend... Ghost rider

I sound fictitious like ghost busters, but I'm quite real like Klingon

I stick like glue, here's a clue:

Day of the week: Monday

Feeling: baby Blue and itchy

Scratch my balls I'm jiggy, sweet melanin black queen like B

Fluent in your love language B, catch 22, paradoxical

Hypocritical, stereotypical, philosophical.

[one-abuse-survivor]

Tired is when you're sick of life, or feel weighed down by the stuff around you. Sleepy is when you want to go to bed. That's how me and my friend do it, anyhow. At this point, I'm fucking exhausted to the point where I feel too tired to let it out but im gonna anyways. There's bits in here that I can't tell my friend, or anyone, so i'm hoping bc this is anonymous i can let it out. Right, intro done lol. Onto the story. Last night, i have no idea what time, maybe five or six, (all i know is this

thing ended at 7pm), my mom storms out of the room and comes back holding a bottle of water and her bag. She proceeds to tell my dad she found the bottle at the bottom of my bed, (basically im not supposed to have anything at the bottom of my bead bc asian tradition believes that youre on top of it and thats dirty or whatever). Then she pulls out my school photo, puts it on the table and tells my dad to look at it. Starts ranting about how I never listen, i look horrible, worst photo i've ever taken. 

Basically, I go to a private school, and they think I should look good, and then they spent some time lecturing me about how i was supposed to look right when i was in the school, I look like a boy, i act like a boy, my hair's a mop, I look like a hooligan. Start talking about when i dress to go to school, how my shoes aren't polished and one of them has laces that show the white inner. How my hair's messy at the back, if i saw someone in jeans and someone in a suit in the street, who would i think was respectful? They told me they shouldn't have let me into the school, they loved me too much, that's why, they should have let me go to this public school that has a reputation for being a mess, that i belong there, waste of money, they regret letting me go here, thought i was a respectable girl. 

Dad asked me again, who wouldd i think was respectful, the jeans or the suit, and I told him I don't know. We'll get to that later, but at that moment he sneered and snorted and looked at my mom. 'says she doesnt know' he jeers. I'd meant it as in 'i have no idea, please help me'. He took it as 'she doesn't know, and doesn't give a fuck'. I don't know how to look proper. they never taught me. they tell me that something looks good so i wear it. mom still buys my clothes for me. I have no fucking clue what looks proper and what doesn't. 

Anyways, somehow they moved onto uni, and my current work, and how I pull all-nighters and how dad thought i was smart but nopw he has no hope, how he sees me get up in the morning and know i'm going to fail the assessment, how i get distracted, how i take too long to shower, how i never learn, how i never help them around the house, they do everything for me and if he was in my shoes then he would work until 'smoke came out' (vietnamese saying), how he would be so grateful but i'm not and they're going to leave me (which is a normal threat for them lol) and how they're going to die (another normal threat, dad has a lifelong illness and mom has been struggling with leukaemia for years) and they're not going to pay for uni if i get a stupid degree, only if i get a good degree like they want which will actually help me (law), if i want to become an engineer (something im considering) then i can pay for it myself, then again it's not like i'm even going to get into uni, when they look at me, they have to think of the girl i was when i was five because if they think about me now they feel sad, they won't look at me because I make them sad, they had so much hope for me, now down the drain, no, down to the sewers, look at my cousins going out, one of them had piercings and infections and almost got tattoos and is a nurse in a prison with a husband who stressed her out so much she passed out at work, do i want that, that's what i will get if i dont work, basd job, assisstants have to buy pads for their bosses, horrible child, this will end one of two ways, one i listen to them and come back years later to thank them or i'll look up at the stars and wish that i'd listened to them and they regret having me and caring for me, if only they'd been better parents, they'd been too lenient, but i don't care do i because if i cared it'd show in my working to please them and i haven't done that so that means i don;t care about them.

Dad told me it was too late to change, then switches to tell me it's not too late, they ramble on about my internet use, (i have to ask them for internet) and i'm not acutlalyu doping work on it, i'm just fucking around, they kjnow, they know, i can lie all i want nbut it's true. Horrible child, they'll die, they'll die, That's the end of the conversation, we're not going to talk about it anymore. No, stop talking. I'm going to tell you this until i die. I'm going to keep saying it, beccause it's better that i say it and you not listen than i dont say it and regret not saying it. (okay, i can;t currently remember anything else of what they said lol.). By the way, you wanna know abt

[asks didn’t arrive and I asked for the last bit again]

ok lets hope to god this sends then. i think i know where i was up to - 'do you want to know about what was wrong with the photo' i think was meant to be that. anyways, yeah. guess what was wrong with it. i had a fucking splinge. like my hair was parted and a bit of the part was split. that's all i can see that's wrong with it. maybe my hair looked oily? idk but that's all i noticed. also said something after that about do u remember when dad asked me abt who did i think looked better the suit.

also can i add something i just remembered which is that one of them put folders on my shelf and mom told me she knew i put them there to hide what i was looking at on my laptop from her when i??? didnt??? put them??? there??? in the first place???? (the layout of my room allows the folders to block the view of someone from the door basically) i put new folders there after i think my dad put them there but i didnt originally put them there??? sorry it was a full ask rant and i have no idea what the freak i typed and what i didnt lol. but u get the gist i think. big fat lecture.

i am tired. my eyes were puffy and there was like this pool of snot floating on top of this pool of tears if you did get the ask sorry u had to read that twice. :(. i mean even tho u didnt see it i was able to let it all out. not sure if it made me feel better about anything but being able to do it at all is rlly nice. Thank you for that.

-----

No wonder you’re tired, nonnie... I’m really glad you could get all of this off your chest, and really sorry that you have to hear those awful things about yourself coming from your parents.

I’m a white European, so I don’t share many of your experiences and I don’t know how it is to live in a Vietnamese family, but I hope it’s okay to compare it a little bit with my experiences in my (very Christian) family--if not, you can absolutely skip the next paragraph! 

I have had a bunch of conversations with my therapist about traditions, religion, and misogyny, because since I cut my mother off, my grandfather has lectured me many times about how I am a bad daughter for looking out for myself and putting my life first instead of being devoted to my mother’s wants and needs. He told me that she’s sick and I’m horrible for not caring about that and abandoning her, and that if she doesn’t love me, I just have to work harder until I "crack her walls”. (As if I haven’t tried already, and as if she didn’t use her very mental illness as an excuse to abuse me). My therapist basically told me that sometimes, being the Disney villain in some people’s stories means you’re doing something right, because their vision of what’s right and what’s wrong (especially when it comes to daughters and women in general) is designed to hurt you, to make you put your family before yourself. That it’s never wrong to put yourself and your needs first, and that kids don’t owe their parents anything just because the parents brought them into this world--that was the parents’ choice, not the kid’s, and therefore it’s the parents’ responsibility to care for their kid, whoever that kid turns out to be; and not the kid’s responsibility to be the model child that the parents had in mind or to care for them.

Your parents belittling you for things you have little to no control over and accusing you of being responsible for their future deaths, for not knowing things that haven’t been explained to you, for not living up to their expectations without even giving you a chance to try, and for not “working for them as hard as they would in your place”, are all red flags of emotional abuse. Accusing you of things you don’t do and constantly drilling into your mind that they “know” you’re a horrible person who doesn’t want to learn or change is a red flag too, and probably an excuse to take the guilt off their shoulders for not taking the time to guide you in life and to explain anything to you before accusing you of not knowing it already. “It’s too late” puts the blame on you, but what it actually means is probably something along the lines of “It’s easier to scream at you than to put realistic expectations on you and then help you achieve them while respecting your boundaries and allowing you to make mistakes, but I don’t want to feel guilty about it, so let’s pretend you’re a lost cause, yeah?”

I used to go to a private school too, and my mother repeatedly told me that was the reason she struggled economically and that I had ruined her life. It wasn’t until I talked about it in therapy that I realised that I never had a choice in what school I went to. Same as I never had a choice in anything my mother decided for me. So how could I be to blame for the consequences of those decisions? And how can you? If they buy you certain clothes, then they have no right to criticise how you look in them. If they chose to put you in a private school, then the money spent is on them, not you. You shouldn’t have to “prove” you’re worth their decisions for you or their basic care for you--they chose to give you that unconditionally the moment they decided to have you in the first place, and if they refuse to give it or threaten to take it away, it’s becuase they’re neglectful and/or abusive, not because something intrinsic about you justifies it. You’re not a bad kid; you’re just a normal kid with very bad parents. And I’m really sorry that you have to put up with them. You deserve better 😔

I’m here if you need to vent again in the future, nonnie. Sending a virtual hug ❤

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: I need a favour Jimmy: And the scale is what? Like a kidney or a 🚬? Janis: don't need anything off you but a lie Janis: so standard, yeah Jimmy: go on Janis: if any of my family ask, and it'll probably be Grace Janis: can you tell 'em I'm at yours, yeah Janis: they won't come over or anything cringe Jimmy: Alright Janis: sure? Janis: cool Janis: I owe you Jimmy: Standard, you said it Jimmy: meant to be with me #always Janis: you get I mean like, until further notice, right Janis: if I'm gone too long and they get aggro, just tell 'em I've gone but yeah, long as you can Jimmy: I weren't reckoning you were nipping out to get a coffee at one of my rival's Jimmy: even Gracie ain't that on one Janis: not that loyal either, sorry to report Jimmy: 💔 Janis: tell her how devvo you are, make her life Jimmy: gonna have to if you leave the fans in a content draught Jimmy: how would I ever cope with becoming #irrelevant Janis: despite the fact that's exactly what you're after, supposedly Janis: and I'm there, remember, content as usually Janis: use your artiste imagination Jimmy: Now I've gotta do all the faking myself Jimmy: what kind of girlfriend Janis: I said I owed you Janis: now you get it Jimmy: You'll more than owe me when I have to seriously draft your sister in as your stand in Janis: don't Jimmy: Too many white redheads in this town Janis: I'm serious dickhead Janis: don't get with my sister Jimmy: It weren't a serious consideration Jimmy: literally no point to this if I were gonna Janis: yeah well I don't ask your reasons you don't ask mine Janis: might've changed Jimmy: not that fucking hard they won't have Jimmy: you got the lobotomy not me Janis: alright alright Janis: 😏 Janis: just can't stand to see her happy, yeah Jimmy: can't stand to see her, tah Janis: my sentiments exactly Jimmy: Better come back in a bit then Jimmy: so you won't have to see me with her Janis: 😑 stop it Jimmy: What? Janis: putting that mental image in my head Jimmy: I mean, dickhead, are you alright or what? Janis: ain't gonna off myself Janis: not that cunt, I wouldn't put that on you Jimmy: not what I asked Janis: idk how to answer that Janis: don't see the point in lying but not asking this favour of ya as no cry for help Janis: alright, nothing I can't handle Jimmy: very comforting that Janis: you shouldn't of asked Janis: nothing you can do either, don't worry Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: 'course there is Janis: fake boyfriend chivalry is cute and all Jimmy: I know but stop flirting with me and you can be here instead of just saying you are Janis: 1. no one is flirting with you Janis: 2. can't sleep in your shed Jimmy: don't be a twat Jimmy: [tells her where there is a front door key] Janis: what will your dad reckon Janis: don't you need to ask Jimmy: He ain't in Janis: yeah but I told you I need more than a coffee break Jimmy: Yeah, so you can have my room Janis: alright Janis: just 'til you get back tonight Jimmy: Til whenever Jimmy: I'll go in my brother's Janis: nah, I ain't gonna put you out Janis: I appreciate it though Jimmy: You ain't Jimmy: but alright Janis: come off it Jimmy: you Janis: what? Jimmy: I get that you scare easy, rich girl, but I'm the only 👻 round my house Janis: I ain't scared Janis: least of all of your gaff Jimmy: stick around then Janis: they been in today? Jimmy: what do you reckon? Janis: they clearly don't give a fuck Janis: idk what would it take for them to piss off, that's the truth Janis: if I knew well Jimmy: sure I could do it Janis: like the optimism Jimmy: full of it, me Jimmy: 🌞 Janis: don't make me laugh Janis: 🌚 me Jimmy: there's no universe we ain't starcrossed 💔🎻 Janis: actually a tragedy Janis: I'll put it in my note Janis: f u god Jimmy: I'll post it for you, babe Janis: that's real romance Janis: 😩🤤😍 Janis: makes a girl wanna stick around Jimmy: and I ain't even said how much I'd miss you yet Janis: do I get a preview or have I gotta die for the 💕 Jimmy: Depends Janis: on? Jimmy: Do you want me or do you wanna die? Janis: that's a big question Jimmy: I've got a big 💕 Janis: baby Jimmy: 😘 Janis: give me a night Janis: yeah Janis: then I can work out what next Jimmy: Take a night Jimmy: It's alright, I said Janis: don't wanna owe you too much Jimmy: So scared, you Janis: 😠 Jimmy: well cute Janis: I may owe ya Janis: but I will punch you Jimmy: I ain't scared, only you Janis: should be Janis: I have your keys Jimmy: I don't have a car for you to fuck up with them Jimmy: and there ain't fuck all for you to steal Jimmy: just a 🐕 Janis: you reckon I'm such a 🐰boiler Janis: should be worried for that poor pup Jimmy: that's your sister Janis: see, not a good replacement Jimmy: never said she were Janis: hmm Jimmy: Less need for a filter, like Jimmy: that's what I said Janis: you see her in person ain't ya Janis: every need for the filter, thanks Jimmy: 👩🏽 🤳🏽 Jimmy: what I'm bothered about Janis: we ain't identical Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: Stop misunderstanding me, dickhead Janis: stop comparing me to her Janis: bad idea Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 😏 Jimmy: such hard work, you Janis: you signed up for it Janis: and invited me over Janis: you must be cracked Jimmy: Do you wanna be uninvited or what? Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: believe that when I don't hear it Janis: bollocks Janis: I never speak Janis: complained as much before Jimmy: I change my mind, you've complained before about that, mate Janis: just so unpredictable, babe Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: stop flirting with me Jimmy: you signed up for it Janis: true Janis: that's my answer Jimmy: [does some extra post about how much he misses her] Janis: pretty good, mate Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: you want me to walk this dog Jimmy: such an athlete 💕 Janis: you know it Janis: counts towards my IOU? Janis: like 25% maybe? Jimmy: Piss off Janis: worth a shot Jimmy: next time hit the 🎯 Janis: damn Janis: tough love Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Janis: so hot Jimmy: I know Janis: that's how your shifts going then Jimmy: when don't it? Jimmy: 😎🚬☕💰💰💰 Janis: new bio Jimmy: it'll be a big hit on tinder Janis: probably just do the last 3 Jimmy: can't rip off your bio, bit rude Janis: feel free Janis: goals! Jimmy: We that type of couple, yeah? Janis: #lookingforathird Jimmy: don't tell 💀👑 though Janis: I'm not going to jail if she pegs it in the sack, fuck that Jimmy: I'd break you out, baby 💕 Janis: why are YOU not going to jail too Janis: admitting you ain't pulling your weight 😏 Jimmy: They'll deport me back to Manchester #duh Janis: ugh, can't fake ldr Jimmy: you'll have to come with when I rescue you then Janis: works for me Janis: get out of here after-all Jimmy: 👍 Janis: have to let me tag-along 'til I learn the language tho Jimmy: fuck that, I'll crack on teaching you when I get back in a bit Janis: challenge accepted Jimmy: [okay but hear me out, what if she lowkey just stayed at his on and off the whole time] Jimmy: shouldn't be no challenge for a 🧠 or 👅 like yours, Judith Janis: [legit for her running away vibe that she would so I buy it tbh] Janis: I didn't wanna disrespect your culture Janis: being polite, like Jimmy: What culture and what decent manners? 😏 Janis: I'm catching on Janis: get me a flatcap wearing pipe smoking man in no time Jimmy: Ian is bound to show his face eventually, being my dad and the one on the lease an' all Jimmy: crack on Janis: assuming he don't wanna head back north though Janis: unless he's on the run Jimmy: he don't Jimmy: 💔 for you Janis: population ain't that low Jimmy: your chances ain't that high Jimmy: grim up there, ain't you heard? Janis: and I ain't Janis: queen of the north, bitch, watch me Jimmy: won't be there to 👀 you binned me off Janis: you Janis: teaching me northern now so you can ditch me then Jimmy: you Jimmy: 'cause you wanna chain a pipe with some 👴💕 Janis: your type, first of all Janis: so welcome for me being so accomodating about the type of third we want Jimmy: hot's hot, babe Jimmy: can't fight it Janis: 😂 Janis: then don't Jimmy: Alright Janis: good Janis: sorted Jimmy: all in a day's work Janis: mhmm Janis: tip you later Jimmy: if anyone else said that they'd be out on their ear, you know Janis: I'm special, you know Jimmy: Me and everyone who follows me 💕 Janis: I get it Janis: you want a post too Janis: hold up Janis: [some post about waiting for him to come back and a selfie on his bed like hey] Jimmy: well done for finding the right bed Janis: tnat could've been awkward Janis: where does your da sleep, actually Jimmy: garage Janis: ahh Jimmy: not in a car, like Janis: 💔 shame Jimmy: for his birds, yeah Jimmy: can't drive themselves away now Janis: 😬 Janis: who am i meant to be Janis: btw Janis: if I bump into the man Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: idk, a valid one? Jimmy: Why ain't you who you always are? Jimmy: a more valid one that Janis: I meant more like, do you have your fam or your socials or no Janis: am I your fake girlfriend to them or just a mate, like Jimmy: can't keep them off Jimmy: must be my 🥇 content Janis: who could resist Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: [sends a 🔥 sext cos #mood after what she posted] Jimmy: treat your followers, mate Janis: 😏 Janis: too kind Jimmy: it's been said Janis: should run a hotline in your spare time Janis: 💰💰💰 Jimmy: How do you know I don't? Jimmy: other than the state of my room Janis: yeah aside from that Janis: literally that special, obvs mate Jimmy: Gotta keep you in 🚬 Jimmy: might bankrupt a lesser lad Janis: psh, I ain't the one with the habit Janis: and why I picked you, babe 😘 Jimmy: of all the bollocks to fake, Jasmine Janis: what Jimmy: I've 👀 yous and 👂 about the pipe you crave Jimmy: can't fool me Janis: 1. filth Janis: 2. very in to be a social smoker, just playing along with what they'd do Jimmy: 1. you better not be filthy in my bed Jimmy: 2. I'll pick you up a vape pen on my way home, yeah? Janis: 1. I'm not gonna hot box your room, better house guest than that, just Janis: 2. if you want me to peg you, just ask Jimmy: 1. Free house law, wouldn't be nowt I could do Jimmy: 2. sure that'd be very #goals but you're alright Janis: 1. see, you want me to really, perv Janis: 2. leave it at the smoke shack then, boy Jimmy: 1. you wanna really Jimmy: 2. what kind of boyfriend if I don't bring you 🎁 Janis: 1. even if I did, get what you said about this dog, won't leave me alone, what's it called? Janis: 2. bring me a ☕ Jimmy: 1. Too late to call her Mia or? Jimmy: 2. What do you actually want then? Janis: 1. 😂 no the 🐶 is too cute for that don't be mean Janis: 2. idk, what kind of smoothies do you do, something like that Jimmy: 1. You're right, she ain't half starved Jimmy: 2. 👍 Janis: 1. have to call RSPCA on you, not #goals Janis: 2. tah Jimmy: Be a quality break up story that Janis: shelf it for later Janis: no dogs actually harmed though, tah Janis: not co-signing that Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: fine Janis: you got a brother and a sister, right? Jimmy: You had a nose around my house or my 📷 IG? Janis: found the right bed on my 2nd attempt Janis: and pretty sure you've mentioned them Janis: but yeah, what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't stalk all your socials Jimmy: A sane one Jimmy: yet to have one of them so crack on Janis: if I was sane they'd call me a nun Janis: gotta play to the audience Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: for you Janis: find one one day Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: cute Jimmy: I am, yeah Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: convincing denial, babe Janis: get it, you want me to tell you how cute you ain't, that's your kink Janis: busy though Jimmy: I don't want you to tell me what you're busy with in my bed though, tah Janis: walking this dog Janis: or getting it ready to Janis: idiot Jimmy: Don't bother, it's alright Janis: may as well, no Jimmy: If you want a 🥇 over my sister whose job it is Janis: oh will she be pissed off Janis: can always have 2 walks Jimmy: cute Jimmy: scared of her an' all? Janis: yeah obvs Janis: just trying not to be a dick to your fam and all Janis: they ain't done nothing to me Jimmy: Yet Jimmy: she could take you in a scrap, mate Janis: alright doubt that Janis: not gonna fight a child either you dick Jimmy: 🙀 you Janis: ain't you got hipsters and basic white girls to serve Jimmy: but my 1st priority is always you, girl 💕 Janis: thrilled about that, obvs Jimmy: I know Janis: feel the love Jimmy: 😘 Janis: you sure you wanna give up your bed Janis: I got places I can go Jimmy: I get it, it don't have a princess canopy Jimmy: you'll live Janis: but will I sleep Jimmy: alright you can borrow my 😎 Jimmy: stop begging Janis: 😂 Janis: and I ain't begging, let's get that clear Janis: told you, got options Jimmy: and I told you, alright Jimmy: you can calm down now, my dear Jimmy: the better option is you 📷🐕💕 Janis: just saying, don't make me feel more like a cunt than I already do Janis: but obvs Janis: suckers for cuteness every time Jimmy: Leave it, I'll live too Jimmy: just don't lose the 🔑 that's our Cass' job an' all Janis: 🤞 Jimmy: #whenshedon'twantyouto💀💀💀 Janis: 💕 Janis: wait 'til I've worked on your old man so I've got an in, like Jimmy: he'll give you an alibi for 🔪🔪💀💀 long as it's only me Janis: that's the lowdown on them then Janis: what about your brother, he gonna come for me too? Jimmy: Depends, you got it in you to piss off a 6 year old or not? Janis: don't really do kids Janis: can't be as annoying as the ones I know though, not related to me for a start Jimmy: Related to me though 😏 Jimmy: just admit you 💕 me, babe Janis: shut up Janis: I'm related to my siblings and I'm great Janis: poor kid stands a chance Jimmy: He's related to Ian, no he don't Janis: bummer Janis: take him with when you get deported? Jimmy: quickest way to get arrested again that Jimmy: use your big head Janis: pretend he's yours Janis: who'd know Jimmy: Piss off I'm northern not a paddy Janis: alright and your ex ain't got a kid nah Jimmy: that's a 👶 not a kid Janis: true Janis: yeah 9 might be insane Janis: can you grow bum fluff, age yourself up before the 🚬 do Jimmy: I dunno Janis: tell him he's like 4 Janis: buy you as 18, sorted Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: that your way of telling me you wanna go pub in a bit then? Janis: duh Janis: i am part paddy Jimmy: How big's the % Jimmy: might be a dealbreaker Janis: 50% Janis: 25% scouse 25% brazilian Jimmy: Made you do maths in the holidays 😏 Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: *😎 Jimmy: *👻 an all Jimmy: any chance you can say you're 💀💀💀 so I can leave? Janis: well my irish fam ain't even from this part of ireland but keep that to yourself 🤐 already got the ropes out, like Janis: only so many funerals I can have but sure Jimmy: I'll keep your real kinks to myself too Jimmy: put the ropes away though you'll wind up the 🐕 Janis: 💕 Janis: boo, no fun Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: Best fake boyfriend you've ever had, sweetheart Janis: competition of one but 🏆 Janis: there you are Jimmy: tah Janis: fake win for a fake boy Janis: only right Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: about to pull a fake sickie, me Janis: that is actual smart though so Jimmy: and you owe me some fake nursing Jimmy: might as well cash in Janis: yeah? Jimmy: send me one of the nudes 💀👑 has sent you so I can 🤢 Janis: 😂 Janis: just don't leak 'em Janis: for my eyes only, obvs 🙄 Jimmy: I promise Janis: [sends her the latest god knows what Mia has been sending for the lols] Jimmy: she's Janis: in love with me? Janis: yeah Janis: don't be threatened Jimmy: but my fragile masculinity though! 😱😱😱 Janis: I'll nurse it better baby Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: put the outfit on, I'll be there in a bit Janis: 😏 Janis: alright Jimmy: 😘 Jimmy: [is there when she gets back from walking Twix because it was a long walk and he's a sneaky speedy mofo] Janis: ['fancy seeing you here' 🤓] Jimmy: [hands her the smoothie he's made specially] Janis: [is doing a #skeptical face but changes it to a 'not bad' when she tries it] Jimmy: [gives her a look like go on then, tell me what's wrong with it but goes to put kettle on for his self #northern] Janis: ['ain't just resident eye candy then, good to know'] Jimmy: [does a bow cos nerd] Janis: [just giving Twix love whilst he makes tea, shouts through 'so you gonna show me where it hurts or am I guessing?' like you don't need to play nurse yet eager bitch] Jimmy: [you know he's making her one even though she's literally got a smoothie so who else is eager, comes through with said tea after a bit and puts the mugs down so he can put a hand over his heart like an even bigger nerd] Janis: [make pouty poor boy face 'might be incurable, that'] Jimmy: ['if you can't do it, you can't' shrugs] Janis: ['making it a challenge?'] Jimmy: [sips tea with an eyebrow raised like a sassy bitch] Janis: [lols, 'okay, so your face muscles are working fine, I get it' casually squishing his face 'cos cheeky too] Jimmy: [when you give her a little smooch but it's FINE cos you've got your phone out okay] Janis: [#allforthegramsureboys how many people really wanna see you making out erryday like some yeah you fine but still] Jimmy: [we know you ain't even holding that phone properly boy and then you won't post it cos you'll say it's too blurry or whatever] Janis: [one of these days you gon just drop it and the pretense but not yet] Jimmy: [soon kids, just hold on] Janis: ['how's the heart now? just challenging to go further oh lads] Jimmy: [puts her hand over said heart like that's nbd and not at all dangerous, with a shrug like I ain't dead yet so] Janis: [we all know it'd be beating pretty fast so bold Jimothy, just looking at her hand on his chest 'cos 'real question is, do you want it to be better or do you wanna..' when you trail off but we get it] Jimmy: ['more goals if I die for you, Juliet'] Janis: [when you're taking that as a yes #bothproblematic and you just kick it up to an actual make out sec again phone is out but who cares] Jimmy: [both of you just going for it like this isn't a dangerous game, impressed that you ain't dropped that phone tbh] Janis: [also your teas going cold, jussayin, when you just straddle his lap but don't sit] Jimmy: [OMG THE TEA] Janis: [my boo like nooooo stop rn and finish that brew] Jimmy: [gonna have to microwave that in a bit] Janis: [least Twix can bark 'cos jealous and they'll think someone's about to run up in so even if they ain't it then breaks the moment] Jimmy: [Good 🐕 yeah let's not have Cass descend yet cos she can always cockblock another moment should we need] Jimmy: [just drinking that tea casually now like nothing happened okay] Janis: [my thoughts exactly, at least Janis can love said cockblocking dog now 'cos awkward] Jimmy: [#true love] Janis: [doing that post about how he's poorly/playing nurse etc gotcha covered boy] Jimmy: [doing flirty replies so you can safely flirt lol] Janis: [so blatant lads] Janis: you seen that lot today? Jimmy: [nods] Janis: shoulda messaged us Janis: final fuck you to 'em before I go, like Jimmy: soz there were a rush on Janis: no worries, got a day now Janis: drop in tomorrow, undoubtedly be there Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [just picked up his lighter and are playing with it Jimmy: brb Janis: 👌 Jimmy: [comes back in a bit with art hoe supplies so he can draw her] Janis: ['homework?'] Jimmy: [shows her what he's doing] Janis: [when you try to be casual and 😏 about it but are immediately like oh and self-conscious of how you look rn 'am I meant to pose or what?'] Jimmy: [just shrugs because he's helpful like that lol 'Do you want it to turn out decent or not?' because challenge always like be my muse bitch] Janis: [🙄 'if you wanna be goals you'll draw me pretty no matter what' but is her usual effortless model self 'cos 'course she can] Jimmy: [🙄 back 'By now I've had plenty of practice at faking I reckon you are, no challenge or owt'] Janis: [sighs 'must be nice having good taste, even if it's pretend, welcome' 😘] Jimmy: [sighs back dramatically without looking up from the page 'be nicer if you stopped moving your lips, dickhead'] Janis: ['mr serious artiste needs to concretrate, okay, okay' mimes zipping 'em] Jimmy: [makes a scoff news but in the next second you know he's doing a cute lil concentration face] Jimmy: [*noise] Janis: [stealth taking a picture of that 'cos is cute] Jimmy: [chewing on that pen like a cute mofo also how confident not to use pencil boy] Janis: [like you've drawn her before lol Jimmy: [giving yourself well away] Janis: [what does one even do when getting drawn, just getting so comfy on that couch, so confident bitch] Jimmy: [at least his doodle style wouldn't take an age] Janis: [trulyfe] Jimmy: [lowkey shoving it at her like well I'm done and soooo not bothered haha] Janis: [when you can't be like I LOVE IT 'cos 1. a picture of yourself 2. you're not meant to be bothered either but you do love so you're like 'you're actually good then' like fairplay] Jimmy: [when you can't deal with even such a lowkey compliment so you have to leave the room and pretend like it's cause the dog is being so annoying like fuck off to the kitchen Twix you slag but also the awks is radiating off you so she's gotta be aware] Janis: [just pocketing that drawing, like] Janis: wanna 🚬? Jimmy: [when you don't answer you just head out there] Janis: [leaves it a hot sec like well am I invited or nah but then decides to go out regardless] Jimmy: [sit on that trampoline kids] Jimmy: [when you light up for her even though you feel awks cos habit] Janis: [takes it and lies back on the trampoline looking up at the sky and smoking] Jimmy: [shamelessly looking at her while she can't see him do it as if he didn't spend however long doing that when he was drawing, okay boy] Janis: ['s'comfy' and closing her eyes 'cos in my mind she's probably had a couple nights out in town already 'cos usually how she'd do before running] Jimmy: [takes off his jacket or hoodie or whatever and spreads it over her like a blanket cos nerd] Janis: [when you just allow that] Jimmy: [Twix just jumping on her because can't get a moment gdi] Janis: [at least she can get her to settle next to her like shh] Jimmy: [just texting Cass like where are you btw because can't join in with the snuggle] Janis: [a fair point also gotta tell her dis bitch staying over like] Jimmy: [really lingering over this convo because what to say or what to do, god bless him] Janis: [she's just oblivious soz lol] Jimmy: [after a while just poking her like 'You hungry or what?'] Janis: ['oi' but getting up, leaning on her elbows 'yeah, I could eat, want me go get something?'] Jimmy: [pushes her back down but gently cos he's gonna go and does] Janis: charming Janis: wanna go twos at least Jimmy: Obviously not, 'cause yeah I am such a 👑 charming, like Jimmy: I gotta pick my brother up anyway Janis: don't be stealing my shoes Janis: know they'd probably fit you but still, not even fake like that Janis: 👍 Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: I've touched your feet and I wouldn't be caught 💀💀💀 Janis: nothing wrong with my feet Jimmy: If you want sell pics to pervs, crack on Jimmy: #notmykink Janis: make a lot off that Janis: I don't need it Janis: 👑💰 Jimmy: hand it over my way then Janis: called being a pimp, that Jimmy: alright so if anyone asks, this convo's fake Janis: alright, rebrand to manager and you get 20% Janis: all in the details, boy Jimmy: Am I signing in 🩸 or that only the 💀💌? Janis: what you so hesitant for Janis: my fucking feet Janis: 🗡 least you can do is suffer Jimmy: I were wondering how much of my bodily fluids you're gonna want over the course of this bollocks Janis: don't be so crude Janis: talking about making softcore fetish porn here, not your emissions, thanks very much Janis: be professional Jimmy: become a nun after you 💔 me not before Janis: you can't 💔 Janis: become a priest if you want access to that untapped source of 😻 Jimmy: You, dickhead Janis: not gay Jimmy: No shit Janis: shut up Jimmy: you Janis: you, dickhead Jimmy: You're a bigger dickhead Janis: awh, it's mm if at all, don't worry 💕 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: how long you reckon you'll be Jimmy: Depends Janis: yeah but Janis: rough estimate Jimmy: Yeah but are you gonna tell me what you wanna eat or have I gotta guess? Janis: get whatever you lot want Janis: I'll eat anything Jimmy: Then I'll be a bit longer than it takes 💀👑 to slide in your DMs whenever you post but not as long as it takes her to take no for an answer Jimmy: alright? Janis: 👍 Janis: gonna go for a run then Jimmy: I won't let the 🐕 know 💔 Janis: can't keep friends, me Janis: soz babe Jimmy: my fault, should've warned her what you're like Janis: you'd have to know for that Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: at it again, you Janis: what, we mates now Jimmy: who's asking? Janis: who do you think Janis: 🐕 hasn't mastered the phone Jimmy: I don't reckon you have any need to ask, Jennifer Jimmy: there's your answer Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: Stop trying to friendzone me, babe Jimmy: It ain't #goals Janis: you're ridiculous Jimmy: I ain't the one asking questions I know the answers to Jimmy: such a girl, you Janis: and I'm the know-it-all Janis: ok bighead Jimmy: I get it, you don't wanna share the 🏆 Janis: you who don't wanna share Jimmy: What you on about? Jimmy: I love sharing, me Janis: nah Janis: ain't that bad a roomie, like Janis: don't ask gracie though Jimmy: don't ask her round, don't ask her questions, you don't want much, you Janis: shut up Janis: how often you have to see her, welcome the break Janis: I would Jimmy: I do Janis: exactly, don't complain, boy Jimmy: Or what? Janis: plenty of ways to shut you up Jimmy: Go on then Janis: 🔇 Janis: feel that mute Jimmy: 🎻🎻still playing on Janis: sorry what was that? Jimmy: come here, grub is Janis: okay, be right there Jimmy: 😘 Janis: don't make me 🤢 into it like Jimmy: but that sounds so hot 💕 Jimmy: bit rude of you to take the spotlight though Jimmy: it were my sickie Janis: oh yeah, soz Janis: be a better patient and I'll be a better nurse Jimmy: be 🥇 and it wouldn't matter Janis: weren't me, was the dog Janis: but okay, round 2 Jimmy: ain't even fed me 🍇 or nowt Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 Janis: 😂 you aren't a roman emperor Jimmy: I'm on my fake deathbed here Janis: so I've gotta spoil you, yeah Jimmy: do something Janis: been trying Janis: saying, have your bed back, I'll take the floor Jimmy: I don't want my bed back Janis: tell me what you want Jimmy: I have done Janis: get the grapes then shall I Janis: brb, detour Jimmy: come and eat, dickhead Janis: well alright Janis: later then Jimmy: I don't even like 🍇 alright Janis: see, how can I win Janis: honestly, setting me up, shame 😏 Jimmy: I'll spit them out off 📷 Jimmy: we can make it work Janis: you baby Janis: you can swallow Jimmy: alright, I'll do it for you 💕 Janis: true love Janis: [show up for this dinner moment] Jimmy: [Bobby and Twix casually cockblocking but not cos he made the kid sit up the table #smart while they can stay on the sofa where they make all their mems but Cass not because we may need her to actually in a bit] Janis: [good thinking boy, also Janis casually breathing a sigh of relief 'cos feels weird meeting his fam whilst it's fake tbh, not Ian fuck Ian but rude on the kids, like] Jimmy: [can you remember his house layout like was it open plan or what was the situation?] Janis: [nah we did a more closed off moment 'cos a rented house, like they had a lil hall, the garage off to one side, then the lounge then the kitchen with a table Jimmy: [okay yeah I do vaguely remember the sims house now] Janis: [so tuck in lads] Jimmy: [when it should be more awks than it is #foreverthemood] Janis: [moves so fast 'cos you so extraaaa] Jimmy: [so comfortable with each other even with all your #issues lads, love it] Janis: [#fated] Jimmy: [when you go get her a drink so you can check Twix ain't stole all Bobby's food and generally be a good big brother on the low] Janis: [yes, tis important, can't be allowed to just chill like you ain't got responsibilities] Jimmy: [she can just hear them being cute in that kitchen like] Janis: [a moment, good thing Bobby likes her when the time comes because she's not so extra with kids and in his face] Jimmy: [not always a 😒 sod, are you Jimothy? lol it's my fave when they are such a cute lil fam unit bye Ian] Janis: [we know you soft boy, and yas casually kick him out of his own home #notsoz] Jimmy: [he's back and he's raided his shit dad's stash cos never too early #fuckyouIan] Janis: [raising your brow but doing a golf clap #approved] Jimmy: [doing a cheers at her] Janis: ['you slipped the kid a nightcap, yeah?'] Jimmy: ['You wish' 😏] Janis: [😳😒] Janis: ['I meant, what passes as parenting 'round here, dickhead'] Jimmy: [to answer her question he goes to clear the table cos the little bab wants to 🎨] Janis: [get your art on babby] Jimmy: [such an unspoken I do, dickhead if there ever was one] Janis: [so domestic] Jimmy: [comes back to drink that drink and put some bollocks on the TV that neither of them care about] Janis: [standard, when you've basically downed yours 'cos nervous energy] Jimmy: [gives her a look but doesn't say anything] Janis: [a 'what?' look] Jimmy: [one back but we know he means what's wrong] Janis: [shakes head like don't worry, I'm good] Jimmy: ['Do you wanna go to my room?' Oh the MANY layers of meaning in that] Janis: [when you shrug 'if you like' but you clearly do 'cos you're halfway up] Jimmy: [when you bring more drinks as a shameless excuse to follow her cos you don't know if she meant she wants to be alone or she wants to be alone with you and you can't ask] Janis: ['purely medicinal, yeah?'] Jimmy: [a nod] Janis: [shrugs 'better than grapes' then puts out her hand 'do I get one?'] Jimmy: ['do you want one?' but in such a flirty manner that there is no need for] Janis: ['you know I do' matching tone 'cos obvs] Jimmy: ['take it then' boy you better stop] Janis: [does, sipping maintaining that eye contact honey] Jimmy: [likewise because gotta] Janis: ['stay' when you gotta add, quickly after a pause 'or I'll feel bad'] Jimmy: [when you make yourself comfortable cos you can make a big song and dance of doing it and hide how much you're dying rn 'can't have that, meant to be me' does the fakest cough of all time and 😏] Janis: ['oh right, yeah get in then' making a thing of getting your phone out and ready to give yourselves some time 'cos ultimately you're gonna hop on that bed and straight up put his head in your lap so you can take a pic stroking his hair] Jimmy: [when you pretend like she's got something on her face and you've gotta get it before any pics are taken but we know there isn't anything there and the boy is just being extra] Janis: ['better?' is she referring to her face or how he feels, we'll never know] Jimmy: [responds by taking her hair down #for the aesthetic bitch we all 👀 you just wanting to run your fingers through it bye] Janis: [still just stroking his hair but pulls it (gently calm down) when he takes hers down 'this is about you, not me'] Jimmy: ['it's about you an' all' when you gotta pause cos calm down with sounding like you care and also how much you wanna make that true in a sexy way 'whoever's story it ends up on'] Janis: [nods like alright and also what can she trust herself to say] Jimmy: [casually taking his top off like oh we should redo all of that as if anyone cares that much about the details #shameless] Janis: [when you're like true though and pull down whatever bottoms you have on like, gotta have that skin to skin moment bye] Jimmy: [trying not to die or look at her too shamelessly and failing at both lbr] Janis: [when you do an instagram story purely so you can kiss his forehead] Jimmy: [kill me tbh and I ain't even there] Janis: [how you gonna slow this down lads hohum] Jimmy: [literally cos we all know how he wants this his head in her lap situation to end and it isn't with a picture] Jimmy: [at least we have the kids and dog to cockblock] Janis: [true facts, gotta keep it family friendly] Jimmy: [me just forever being like how far can we push this before it's too far haha] Janis: [s'the point baby] Jimmy: [I'm thinking] Jimmy: [we need something #intimate to happen and bonus points if it's the first time too but idk] Jimmy: [not the #cute moment I was trying to think of but #duh while we've got them here we should do the ultimate playfight cliche since on a bed it's BLATANT and like she could poke him as a trampoline throwback cos they're still just lying there together #casual and be all I thought you'd fallen asleep cos pisstake at how tired he always is and of course like I said playfight ensues and we've got all that good shit like him tickling her and her squirming way more than necessary 👀 you both so of course he pins her down but not really cos we all know you could escape easily if you wanted to 👀 you still and SO much good eye contact and he pulls her hair and she bites her lip and he stares at it but OBVS before they can kiss Cass storms back through with a front door slam that puts Grace's school trip one to shame and has Twix wilding] Jimmy: [which leaves him nothing to do but say fuck's sake with more feeling than anyone has ever for all the reasons and go downstairs to talk to her aka have a row cos she's always in the mood and so's he now] Janis: [A+ idea boo] Janis: [whichever door they ain't at, she goes out] Jimmy: [don't blame you remotely girl] Janis: [lets some time pass] Janis: if you want anything bringing back, lmk Jimmy: ? Janis: ? Janis: what does that mean, easy enough question, ain't it Jimmy: What do you mean? Janis: that I've gone out, and if you need some milk or some shit, I'll bring some back later Janis: not offering to do a drugs run for you, soz Jimmy: and I've been out so what the fuck else would I need Janis: alright, simple no would suffice Jimmy: Would it? Janis: try it and find out Jimmy: You wish Janis: 🙄 Janis: not that arsed Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: sounds like it Janis: your lack of manners ain't my concern Janis: didn't ask you to say thanks or anything Jimmy: You can have it anyway Jimmy: tah for doing one when I'm up to my eyes here Janis: yeah, you're welcome, sarcasm ignored Janis: nothing I could do Jimmy: try it and find out Janis: like what, read your brother a bedtime story whilst you bollock your sister Jimmy: like not take the 1st chance you can to fuck off Janis: was giving you space to sort it out in private, actually Jimmy: bollocks Janis: how is that bollocks Jimmy: how ain't it? Janis: did I look ready to go out to you or what Janis: not got anything else to do in this town tonight Jimmy: Wouldn't know, didn't get a goodbye in Janis: fuck's sake Jimmy: You pissed off 'cause it got too real for you, owt else is bollocks Janis: you reckon that all you want Jimmy: Deny it all you want Jimmy: you can be full of chat about 'how this will only work if...' and how we need each other but you ain't standing by it Jimmy: gotta keep me in my box and that ain't the 4 walls of this house, yeah? Jimmy: Like I said, too real Janis: Stop being dramatic and chatting shite Janis: if that were it, I wouldn't offer to come back, would I Janis: I'd go, as planned Jimmy: Then what? Janis: what I said, dickhead Janis: I know what it is when everyone knows your family's shit Janis: I was getting out the way Jimmy: That were nowt Jimmy: you're gonna need a thicker fake skin, girl Janis: shut up Jimmy: Funny how you don't get in my way when there's washing up to be done, rich girl Janis: yeah, you caught me Jimmy: dry handed Jimmy: I know, like Janis: you're so unfunny it's unreal Jimmy: unreal is right Jimmy: you reckon you're getting my best material Janis: please, save it Jimmy: please, give me your permission again Jimmy: desperate for it, me Janis: no shit Janis: total gimp, you, s'obvious Jimmy: I get it, you want the mental pictures Jimmy: gotta do something with the alone time you've given yourself by doing one Janis: Means I've got 'em Janis: you owe me another lobotomy, or an acid deep clean Jimmy: put it on my tab, babe Janis: take it off mine and we're quits Janis: better idea Jimmy: Piss off Janis: I get it, you want me forever in your debt Jimmy: 'course I do Janis: mhmm Janis: like I said, transparent 👻 boy Jimmy: buy us 🚬 and I might let you back in 🧛 girl Jimmy: how's that for clear? Janis: pretend I don't know how much you want me back, crystal 👌 Jimmy: that's the 🐕 sweetheart, it ain't me Janis: whatever, the washing up moan was more convincing, babe Jimmy: done my convincing for the night, haven't I? Janis: part-timer Jimmy: keep it to yourself Janis: you ain't the only lad Janis: sure they'll find it very #relatable Jimmy: shut up Janis: 😂 Jimmy: such a dickhead Janis: you love being the best boyfriend in town, don't you Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: you know the drill Janis: sure do Jimmy: You not pulling your weight only makes me look better Jimmy: so understanding and 💕 all that bollocks Janis: fuck off Janis: I do well more than you, boys just get sucked off for doing the literal bare minimum in any scenario, especially not being a total twat to girls Janis: don't get it twisted, dickhead Jimmy: you can have a 🏆 for the dance floor, that's about it Janis: bullshit Janis: you've got the easy job Janis: I've turned every bitch from saying I'm gay as a diss to being scared I'll steal their lad in no time Jimmy: You had one rumour about you 💔 I've got loads Jimmy: gotta keep up with them and prove them wrong Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: you don't listen as well as you reckon Janis: 💩 Jimmy: might be 'cause you had my 👂s off Janis: get over it Janis: how you ever cope with having a real girlfriend Jimmy: never baby 💕 Janis: idiot Jimmy: stop flirting with me for 1 sec OMG Jimmy: proper sweet talker, you Janis: about as delusional as her Janis: and as much chat Jimmy: actually 💔 now Janis: ikr Janis: imagine actually being her Janis: gutting Jimmy: you're alright, tah, I won't Janis: but you love the pain Janis: what's up? Jimmy: Better ways to get a dose of it, like inviting you down the pub Jimmy: coming or what? Janis: cute 💕 Janis: guess so Janis: have to disappoint some lads but that's just how it is when you're so in demand Jimmy: so much enthusiasm be still my 💘 Jimmy: one on the corner, I'll be the mug getting them in Janis: 👍 Janis: not been gone that long Janis: remember what you look like Jimmy: #unforgettable Jimmy: send tweet Janis: 😂 Janis: I'll sign off on that Janis: pretty odd looking, it sticks with you Jimmy: You can do better Jimmy: with insults and lads obvs Janis: 🤷 I mean Janis: I'm sure you can get lads too, mate Jimmy: 👴💕 Janis: 😂 that's why you wanna go pub Janis: how rude to invite me Jimmy: you wanted a third, babe Janis: well we gotta agree Jimmy: do owt to please you, you know that Janis: 🤤 Jimmy: 😍 Janis: cute Janis: don't reckon there's any fitting another person in your bed though Janis: have to wait Jimmy: the lounge has got loads of floor space, be alright Janis: oh right, lock the dog in the kitchen and the kids in their rooms Janis: it's a party Jimmy: 🤞 Ian's in here having an after work #sesh so I can whip his 🔑 off him an' all Janis: oh, a good point Janis: no one needs that Jimmy: Our 🎉 been pissed on 'cause I don't 👀 him Jimmy: @iantaylor8 do one, mate 👍 Janis: put a DND on the door Janis: old school Jimmy: DNR on the 👴💕 Janis: standard practice when you're 😈 Jimmy: you stopped blagging you're 😇 now then? Janis: can do both, multi-talented Jimmy: Good Jimmy: dunno how I feel about the end of an era Janis: you like good girls, huh Janis: don't be spreading that about me, tah Jimmy: don't get #badder than my ex so from now on, yeah Jimmy: but alright, your secret halo is safe Janis: 🍻 drown those sorrows, I'm nearly there Jimmy: had loads of 🍺 and 👴💕 already tah Jimmy: you'll have to go some to keep up Janis: slag 😏 Jimmy: don't be spreading that about me Jimmy: fighting lasses off every day as is Janis: you poor thing Janis: did you not think about just going gay Janis: fake gay, that is Jimmy: I know 🎻🎻 things I do for you, Jules Jimmy: just ain't believable that Janis: what, you're SO straight 😂 Jimmy: I mean, this lad at work is a right stunner but getting him to be my fake boyfriend would be a bit harder than it were getting you to make 😍 at me Jimmy: he's proper busy with the ☕ Janis: piss off Jimmy: needed a rich girl with nowt to do Janis: don't need to repeat myself, thanks, see above Jimmy: 😏 Janis: don't smirk at me cunt Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 then Janis: go away Janis: was a school trip, no one had anything better to do Jimmy: come here Janis: outside Janis: got your cigarettes Jimmy: [appears like oh hey just casually sticking his head out the door and looking around dramatically like ?? cos nerd] Janis: [🙄 'you really are a shit actor, you know'] Jimmy: [shrugs 'got everyone I need to fooled'] Janis: [a shrug 'if you say so' and holding out the pack, which she's already taken one from] Jimmy: ['you just heard me' takes one obvs] Janis: ['what's that count for' when you've bought your own lighter so you've lit your own #ultimateshade] Jimmy: [🙄 how weird it'd feel to just light his own at this point like] Janis: [awkward] Jimmy: [awkward silent moody smoking ftw] Janis: [always] Jimmy: [leaning against the wall to show how #overit you are, oh life] Janis: 😎 Jimmy: *😎🚬 Janis: thanks to me Jimmy: and what? Jimmy: 👏 Janis: begins with a t Jimmy: you are being a twat, yeah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: very clever Jimmy: 🏆🧠 Janis: go celebrate then, dickhead Jimmy: gimme chance to finish my 🚬 damn girl Janis: [walks further away to finish hers] Jimmy: [walks up to her cos that dickhead] Janis: ['What part of this aren't you getting?'] Jimmy: [just giving her a look like what] Janis: ['I said, go away, remember'] Jimmy: ['what's that count for, you said that an' all, remember'] Janis: ['you're so fucking- annoying'] Jimmy: ['Is coming here gonna make me any less annoying?'] Janis: ['what?'] Jimmy: [gestures for her to come in the pub and have a drink with him] Janis: [when you're just looking at him exasperated af but then stomp in before him] Jimmy: [gets drinks and puts hers down in front of her like there you go without asking what she wanted, bit rude] Janis: [doesn't say thanks, obvs] Jimmy: [when you've swapped awkward silent moody 🚬 for awkward silent moody 🍺] Janis: [#goals lmao] Jimmy: [truly] Jimmy: You're Jimmy: [when you deliberately are vague af] Janis: go on Janis: say what you wanna say Jimmy: You're just Jimmy: [when you shake your head like NOPE abort mission] Janis: fine Janis: [🙄 and getting up to get more drinks] Jimmy: [forever not realising drinks aren't a good idea you two, god bless] Janis: [when you're probably chatting more to the bartender than you are to the person you're with rn oh lads] Jimmy: [when seeing that'd put you in an even better mood which is great Jimothy thanks so much] Janis: [coming back, putting the drinks down, then going straight to the bogs like brb] Jimmy: [you know he'll have probably downed that by the time she gets back #suchfun] Janis: [back like okay] Janis: how many you had? Jimmy: [shrugs because not enough clearly] Janis: cheat Jimmy: 1. didn't accept no challenge Jimmy: 2. rebel with only one cause, remember Jimmy: 3. you famously don't play by the rules, why should I? Janis: 1. you said catch up Janis: 2. how can i Janis: 3. dickhead Jimmy: I said you'd have to be going some Jimmy: and you will Janis: Oh, will I? Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: crack on Janis: wow love it when you get all demanding Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: Missed you too Janis: 'course Janis: 💘 Jimmy: [just on his phone like a rude bitch, I'm like LORD let that booze kick in soon please] Janis: [lol like boy you asked her here, twice] Jimmy: [HONESTLY give it up bitch you're ridiculous] Janis: 💬 Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: your turn Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: [goes] Janis: third? Jimmy: Why you trying to make me do maths in the holidays? Janis: the maths is would you bang the barman or nah Jimmy: would you? Janis: [shamelessly staring like 🤔 at this poor man who's probably 30 odd and not cute enough to go there like soz] Janis: not by first choice, nah Jimmy: There's your answer then Janis: considerate as ever, darling Jimmy: owt to please you, I said Janis: I know Janis: but we know what I said and all Jimmy: weren't listening me Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [puts drink in front of her with a look like you alright then?] Janis: [look back like are you? but nods too] Jimmy: [drinking instead of answering] Janis: ['I can go, if you've got shit to sort'] Jimmy: [shaking his head so casually but the 👀 are like DON'T] Janis: ['good, break my heart if you sent me back to that lot' smiles weakly like joking but not really] Jimmy: ['What kind of dickhead would take the only job you've ever had and turn it round on you, rich girl'] Janis: [🙄 'imagine'] Jimmy: ['don't wanna, it's bloody tragic'] Janis: [kicks him under the table, but not full pelt lol] Jimmy: [throws a beer mat at her with an oi but also not that hard obvs] Janis: [just ripping it up casually] Jimmy: 🎊👰💕 Janis: [😏] Janis: lemme know when you meet her and I'll practice my overarm Jimmy: throw it over whoever you wanna bring back, gimme the warning Jimmy: 🤞👴 Janis: [lols] Janis: [takes a big look around and shakes head like nah, not feeling it] Jimmy: I get it, Ian still ain't showed 💔 Jimmy: I'll get some 🎻🎻 on the box for you, mate Janis: ha 🖕 Janis: after careful consideration, I can't hack being your step mum, thanks but no thanks Jimmy: take the 🐕 leave the rest, I know Janis: nah, your sibs seem fine too, sure Ian is the daddy I've dreamed him to be too Janis: it's all you 💔 Jimmy: 😭😭😭 Janis: Poor baby Janis: want comforting again yeah Jimmy: Depends Janis: yes, it will be me doing the comforting Janis: can't guarantee anyone else at such short notice Jimmy: but are you gonna do what you did before or have you got new tricks? Janis: Depends Jimmy: On how much time you can blag for yourself by borrowing mine? Not much, girl Jimmy: not if you're using that one any road Janis: no Jimmy: Go on then Jimmy: what? Janis: on what angle you're hitting 📸 Janis: only so much the Instagram guidelines allow for Jimmy: that'll be every 💕 Janis: then what do you expect Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: 🥇 for the 'gram and 🥇 comforting ain't the same thing Janis: shocking, I know Jimmy: I said nowt about the 'gram that were you Janis: Why ever else would we do it? Janis: [a LOOK] Jimmy: [gives one back] Jimmy: might fancy snapchat Janis: only if they pay Janis: 60/40 me Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: you don't need the 💰💰 Janis: don't mean I work for free Jimmy: send me a bill then, babe Janis: after Jimmy: 👍 Janis: What were you gonna say Jimmy: When? Janis: Earlier Janis: you never said what I was Jimmy: nowt Janis: bollocks Janis: you can say it Janis: heard it all before Jimmy: I dunno Jimmy: leave it out Janis: fine Janis: drink up Janis: [goes bar] Jimmy: just Janis: don't bother, why'd you tell the truth anyway, yeah Jimmy: take whatever you said about me and replay it in a northern accent Jimmy: that'll do Janis: non-committal enough Janis: idek what I said so 👍 Jimmy: sorted, like Janis: sure Jimmy: I actually dunno though, alright Jimmy: what you are Janis: racist Janis: after you made me break down my heritage too Janis: plain rude Jimmy: bit rude to say I made you, Jill Janis: well, you to a T that Jimmy: you reckon you've got me to a T, yeah? Janis: want me to say I can't work you out and all? Jimmy: Do you want me to chat bollocks or leave it for you to do? Janis: chat something Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'cos why am I here otherwise Jimmy: you wanted a drink, you've got a drink Janis: when did I ask for a drink Jimmy: no need Jimmy: I dunno how to describe you in one word that don't mean I know nowt Jimmy: could've said pisshead for a start Janis: yeah you reckoned I smoked as well Janis: nice one columbo Jimmy: and as I'm so wrong you won't want one Jimmy: [struts out] Janis: I'm gonna drink yours, twat Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: well convincing it's only social, that Janis: what do you want me to say, I'll piss in it Janis: not that committed to fucking you up Jimmy: can't ever just leave it, can you? Jimmy: goes for nowt Janis: you started it Jimmy: you Janis: you you you Jimmy: how did I? Janis: you wouldn't tell me what you said Janis: now you've pissed off Jimmy: I fucking Jimmy: I went for a smoke 'cause I can admit it's a habit Janis: Well I'm not gonna lie 'cos you wanna hear I got a drinking problem or some shit Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: I've got other ways I deal with my shit, alright Jimmy: and I'm not trying to get an invite on a run, alright Janis: What you saying Janis: smoking isn't your thing, you don't own it Jimmy: it ain't yours either, you said Janis: I can do it as and when I want Jimmy: 👏🏆 Janis: oh, fuck off Jimmy: make up your mind Jimmy: you were trying to kick off at me for leaving your side a bit ago Janis: I'm fucking tired Janis: I'm going Jimmy: Let me finish my drink that you better not have touched and we'll go Janis: You can stay Jimmy: I don't want to Janis: okay Jimmy: [reappears to down that drink like come on then] Janis: [when you go to grab his hand instinctively 'cos ages of people watching you but then drop it like it's hot like shit] Jimmy: [when you just take her hand again anyway like you gotta drag her away from here kicking and screaming lol instead of the fact you know she wants to leave so badly that you didn't even sit down to neck that pint] Janis: ['when you get up in the night, don't stand on me, like'] Jimmy: [It ain't me with the freakishly long legs, girl. How do you reckon I'm gonna make that happen from the next room?'] Janis: [pouts] Jimmy: [gives her a look like ?? but less dickhead-ish than he's been doing it] Janis: [shakes head like nevermind] Jimmy: [cups her face because he can pretend he's being fake with it if he needs to even if the genuine soft tones of his voice could give him away if he knew how much of a #softboy he is 'what, babe?'] Janis: [acts like she's gonna bite his hand literal but just pushes it away hastily 'nothing, I thought you were staying'] Jimmy: ['I'll have the floor then'] Janis: [shakes head 'don't be stupid'] Jimmy: ['You'] Janis: ['s'your bed, dickhead'] Jimmy: [You're tired, dickhead. Just take it off me'] Janis: ['can sleep anywhere, like'] Jimmy: ['my bed'll suit you alright then'] Janis: [shakes head like no point arguing on this anymore] Jimmy: [gives her a look like too right there isn't cos you're having my bed, end of discussion] Janis: ['don't sleep on the floor' what does that mean what are you wondering what do you know] Jimmy: [nods which is about as cryptic, oh lads] Janis: ['your sister beat you in a fight then too?'] Jimmy: ['you saying you fancy your chances?' it's really hard to make everything a question omg] Janis: [😏 'only heard her so I ain't making any bets with you, tah'] Jimmy: [😏 'spoilsport'] Janis: ['cheat' tuts like honestly] Jimmy: ['don't be throwing words like that about out loud, tah'] Janis: [looks around dramatically 's'fine, don't reckon they're tailing us'] Jimmy: [takes her hand again and like swings it how you do to a kid while he also looks around dramatically] Janis: ['left your brother at home, mate' but not pulling away or stopping him ok] Jimmy: [when you'd normally have some #bants about that but you're tired too so you're just walking and handholding nbd] Janis: [a nice lil moment] Jimmy: [I feel like the pub ain't that far from his house so may as well enjoy that while it lasts kids] Janis: [exactly dr phil] Jimmy: [getting back and not knowing if your dad is home or not #joys (we know he isn't but Jimmy don't have that luxury) so you immediately get tense af] Janis: [awkward, get you up in the room girl] Jimmy: [when you have to go check your siblings and tell them you're back cos you all have separation anxiety but lowkey so your fake girlfriend don't think you're weird] Jimmy: need owt? Janis: nah, I'm good Janis: thanks Jimmy: [bringing her water anyway cos you don't want the night to be over yet in case she's gone in the AM #blatant] Janis: [just smiling like 'I'll give you 5 stars'] Jimmy: ['hang on, it ain't vodka, like'] Janis: ['lucky I don't throw it in your face then' 🙄😏] Jimmy: ['least I'd impress you by catching it in my mouth if it were'] Janis: ['right little optimist, you'] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: ['what other tricks you got then, boy?'] Jimmy: [Shrugs 'Don't have a dog to perform myself'] Janis: [yawns half shade/half actual] Jimmy: [when you're just leaving like okay then] Janis: ['oi'] Jimmy: [when you've basically got a hand on the door to go but you still turn around because of course you do] Janis: ['...night then' like that weren't all bitch we all know it] Jimmy: [You gonna be cold? It's april boy I doubt it but he's taking off his hoodie or jumper or whatever soft thing he's got on and putting it on her because just he just wants touch her without making that obvious but also CARES bitch] Janis: [nods all the same 'tuck us in then'] Jimmy: [does obvs, picking her up and carrying her there first if he needs to because idk if she's stood up like him by this door or wut] Janis: [allowing it 'cos I wanna] Jimmy: [when you open your mouth to say about 40000 things but you can't so you just close it again like nothing to see] Janis: ['yeah' 'cos same boy, same] Jimmy: ['I were just wondering if I should take your breakfast order but depends if I pull another sickie or bother to go in' boy you were not such a lie but that is a good question of what to do with tomorrow I'll give you that] Janis: ['make a thing of it and they might send you a fruit basket, or a search party, risk you could take, like' shrugs] Jimmy: ['if the search party's headed up by my best customers that's a massive risk, management not as much' shrugs back and once again attempts his exit] Janis: [turning over like okay night 'smoothie was good' re. if he does go in] Jimmy: [stopping like this is a mansion instead of a box room 'we can make a thing of it either way, if you want'] Janis: ['that'll be alright, yeah' when you're saying that into your pillow like hope you can hear] Jimmy: [when you nod but she can't see you] Janis: [let him go hoe] Jimmy: [I'm gonna say he does but do a little time skip to later because he can't sleep obvs and I have no chill] Jimmy: Hey Janis: what's up? Janis: beside you Jimmy: you an' all Jimmy: why ain't you asleep? Janis: sleeps for the weak, like Jimmy: gimme my bed back then Janis: I said you could have it from the off Jimmy: Go to sleep, dickhead Janis: why Jimmy: 😴💤 Janis: I know you didn't start a convo just to see if I was asleep or nah Jimmy: might've done Janis: could've popped your head 'round the door Janis: or made a shit joke about snoring keeping you up Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: 🐕 snores louder than anyone and she's in here anyway Janis: cosy Jimmy: I'll chuck her in with you if you're 💔 Jimmy: and awake Janis: if you like Janis: thought you were coming to get your bed anyway Jimmy: Got your name on it tonight, mate Janis: come on, I don't need it Janis: I'll crash on your sofa 'til it's light Janis: gone before any of 'em wake up, easy Jimmy: I don't need it either Jimmy: but if I have to tie owt round the door to keep you in, challenge accepted Janis: 😏 Janis: really Jimmy: I mean, 🤞 I tucked you in and you'll stay in, but alright Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: cute Janis: say you underestimate me but it's that optimism, yeah? Jimmy: I know how much you love it, babe Janis: hmm we'll be nice and say it's refreshing Jimmy: be nice and stay put instead of me having to rig a trip wire or some bollocks Janis: alright, alright Janis: no need to go home alone Janis: how long are you keeping me captive though Janis: things to do Jimmy: least if we were I might be able to sleep Jimmy: comes to something when you're the least annoying person I've shared a bed with Jimmy: let you out when it goes from #goals to #weird Janis: charming Janis: is he asleep or Jimmy: 👑 me Jimmy: he ain't 💀💀💀 Jimmy: that'll be me tomorrow if I go work Janis: well, if you let me go Janis: can rock up at opening time and tell them how sick you still are Jimmy: if I let you go, won't see you for dust Jimmy: such an athlete, like Janis: well yeah, I will go to the gym after Janis: just hoping it's the fit one opening obvs Jimmy: get your own fit colleagues, I 😍 him first Janis: 💔 I'm faster Jimmy: that'll be why I were 🥇 in a race against you Janis: 1. you cheat Janis: 2. sure he will if you beg hard enough, don't cry Jimmy: 1. shut up I can't hear the 🎻 over you being a massive 😭 loser Jimmy: 2. piss off Janis: oh please, your one good lung would collapse before you could even eat my dust in an actual race Jimmy: long as it holds out for me to go have a 🚬 Janis: 🙄 Janis: yay or nay to the actual plan though, idiot Jimmy: Well on board for a race to my 💀💀💀 death obvs 🎊 Janis: DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL IN SICK FOR YOU OR NO Jimmy: You can calm down, your boyfriend ain't opening up, no need to shout Jimmy: nowt in it for you either Janis: not an answer Jimmy: I don't have a smoothie maker here and I ain't cashing in an IOU on that bollocks Jimmy: there you go Janis: don't need one that bad Janis: but alright Janis: go sleep then Jimmy: not out here, it's freezing Jimmy: 🤞 when I get back in Janis: all that talk of 🚬 got you excited Jimmy: keep that 💕 between us though Janis: everyone's seen you Janis: clearly your 😎 appeal is so great, they'll deal with the bad breath Jimmy: but if they ask you're my 🥇 Janis: not forgot what we're doing here Janis: don't worry Jimmy: 👍 Janis: why'd you move here Jimmy: Why are you asking me? Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Janis: why not Janis: reasonable question Jimmy: reasonable that you've said you don't need or wanna know owt about me an' all Jimmy: What's changed? Janis: got time to kill, ain't we Jimmy: and that's what you wanna do with it? Janis: not my first choice Jimmy: do whatever is then Janis: just don't answer Jimmy: 🙀 is you, Judith Janis: then Janis: ? Janis: hardly a probing question, calm down Jimmy: he got a job here, I didn't fancy being homeless so I came with Jimmy: alright? Janis: why wouldn't it be Jimmy: I dunno the answer you want Janis: erm, the one that's real Janis: not asking for a bedtime story here Jimmy: force of habit Jimmy: our kid has to have 6 Janis: one for every year Janis: classic Janis: gets a bit out of hand when 10 of you try it though so Jimmy: thank fuck Ian ain't that fertile then Janis: 🤢 don't Janis: it's fucking grim Jimmy: 💔 my face fits Jimmy: can't say I ain't his Jimmy: can't knock yours that hard if most of your lot looks like you do Janis: diversitys lacking but he ain't the only black man about Janis: 🤷 Jimmy: yeah but 10 kids looking like that would get you all the 👶🏆 regardless Jimmy: well 9 'cause there's Grace Janis: shut up 🙄 Janis: beautiful baby competitions aren't that lucrative Jimmy: sure my ex is 💔💔💔 Janis: cute then? Janis: that's something Janis: most babies are ugly Jimmy: nah she'd have to rig it Jimmy: cheating comes natural though Janis: ouch Jimmy: 🤷 Jimmy: there's your bedtime story Janis: not meant to be sad Janis: no wonder he's after 6 Janis: happily ever after, dickhead Jimmy: I ain't still with her 💍👶👰 so it were Jimmy: and far as he knows we're 💕 Janis: well I won't get pregnant to end this so Janis: still coming off favourably Jimmy: Ian will be chuffed Jimmy: and what greater seal of approval is there? Janis: idk Janis: starting to question his existense tbh Janis: 😎 runs in the genes too, yeah Jimmy: 👻 does Janis: same Janis: definitely not related Jimmy: don't worry I ain't gonna come round yours with a white sheet thrown on Jimmy: bit controversial Jimmy: stick to the burning ✞ Janis: come on Janis: be a laugh Janis: call it performance art Jimmy: til I get lynched myself Jimmy: proper outnumbered Janis: nah Janis: they're all pussies Janis: nothing like me, I told you Jimmy: you don't know I ain't Jimmy: never seen me fight Janis: protect you, go on Jimmy: lend us your lighter and I'll think about it Jimmy: mine's 💀👻 Janis: trace the burning ✞ back to me and all Janis: no idiot Janis: but whatever, one sec Jimmy: chuck it out the window, Juliet Jimmy: no need to run Janis: may as well have one myself Jimmy: I get it, you don't reckon I can catch it Janis: I know you can't Janis: also know you won't give it back Jimmy: I'll give it you back tomorrow Janis: fucking hell, if you don't wanna even sit with me, I'll go out front, like Jimmy: Shut up Jimmy: can't do tricks out front Janis: [comes out in his hoodie obvs 'cos you said it was freezing but we know she ain't taken it off, like] Jimmy: [is visibly cold af cos been out here ages and gave her his clothes] Janis: ['you idiot' coming at him with said hoodie] Jimmy: [is so much no because bitch you're keeping that] Janis: [🙄 like come here then and wrapping it round them both] Jimmy: [letting that happen because we all wanna] Janis: [rubbing his arms to warmth them 'can get the duvet if you want'] Jimmy: ['be going back in in a bit, it's alright'] Janis: [nods but pulls it tighter/him closer] Jimmy: [again letting that happen shamelessly lol] Janis: [they'd be like so face to face rn it'd be ridiculous 'cos same height, the only way you're avoiding that tension is if you put your head on his shoulder and that's not intimate at all nah] Jimmy: [when you're just playing with her hair like it's in your way and you gotta stop it from harassing you but 👀 you really boy] Janis: [scary grace impression 'don't mess up my hair!'] Jimmy: [lols 'don't do that, it's proper accurate'] Janis: [😏 'spent an unfortunate amount of time with her, least she can give me is a decent impression'] Jimmy: ['I don't want her here or the PTSD tah'] Janis: ['yeah, yeah, you want the lighter I ain't forgot' but not giving it him 'cos vital he be warmthed first obvs] Jimmy: ['I do but-' not finishing that sentence because #danger] Janis: [no escaping how hard she can look at you from this distance though] Jimmy: ['I don't wanna wake him up and the fucking dog will longer I leave going back in, so don't fight me on the floor thing when we do, alright?'] Janis: ['course', I'm not as arsehole' pauses 'I just don't see why you won't take the bed and I'll go on the sofa-' when you say this last bit faster than the rest '-or just share with me it's not like we haven't before'] Jimmy: [nods and tries not to breathe too much 'Really committed to warming me back up, you. Fine then.'] Janis: ['something like that' hands him the lighter] Jimmy: [we know the drill here, ladies first lol] Janis: [when you should really separate to smoke but you just turn so he's behind you 🥄🚬 moment ] Jimmy: [take your chance to shamelessly stare at her boy] Jimmy: [and he should blatantly take a pic because imagine how beautiful she'd look rn and the lighting would be so interesting] Janis: [do it for your 🎨 and 😍 boy] Jimmy: [honestly and it'll stop you saying or doing anything else that you shouldn't] Janis: ['do you reckon I could do it properly..model, like?'] Jimmy: ['Yeah' OMG he answered a question] Janis: [when she's surprised he don't shade her like oh but does best to hide that 'my sister is. Good way out, since I'm not getting deported'] Jimmy: ['I'll look forward to seeing your face on a billboard or whatever and saying I didn't know you' because don't you just hate when peeps pretend to be your bestie when you die/are famous, yep me and Jimmy too] Janis: ['tah, glad it meant so much to ya, mate'] Jimmy: ['It obvs meant everything to me, that's why I've gotta repress all those perfect memories, babe. Tah for that.'] Janis: [turns and 😘 with some smoke coming with] Jimmy: ['see, can't do better than you'] Janis: ['I know, I feel really bad for you, actually. Tragedy.'] Jimmy: [does the violin mime 'get in line, girl, let you jump it a bit 'cause I like you'] Janis: ['yeah?'] Jimmy: [😘 back at her because getting too real there] Janis: [catches it and turns back] Jimmy: [🚬 in silence for a bit because close call] Janis: 'what's your mate called, then?'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like he has no idea who she means] Janis: ['Barista boy'] Jimmy: ['He ain't my mate then, is he'] Janis: ['Your mans, I'm sorry'] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [nudges back like tell me then] Jimmy: ['Do your own homework, it's the holidays'] Janis: ['such a cockblock, you'] Jimmy: [😒 but trying not to let it show and doing the 💔 with his hands so she'll look there instead] Janis: ['yeah right' and pushing his hands down] Jimmy: [usual Oi and scuffle moment as standard] Janis: [just playfighting always] Jimmy: [when you're just like come on because can't stay out here forever] Janis: ['you finally done?'] Jimmy: [CLEARLY still in his jealousy and thinking about her fucking Pete so walking away] Janis: [just like um excuse me but going too 'cos not gonna stay outside to be awkward] Jimmy: [getting ready for bed moodily lol lol lol] Janis: [when you don't even know what's changed the vibe but what you gonna say, just taking the hoodie and whatever you put on your bottom off] Jimmy: [deliberately not looking at her cos you're in a sulk and can't trust yourself not to say something] Janis: [this won't be awkward at all, lads, time to cram into this bed like there's any option but to snuggle] Jimmy: [who is big 🥄 and who's little?] Janis: [if she's little he can be 'mad' about her hair in his face] Jimmy: [true just #fuming] Janis: ['night'] Jimmy: [when you don't say it back, we know you ain't asleep yet boy] Janis: ['dick'] Jimmy: [a very unamused sound in response like it's her fault you're a jealous dickhead okay then] Janis: [turning 'round in this bed which is treacherous tbh and poking him like what is your problem] Jimmy: [shaking his head because literally what can he say and don't even start me on the position of them both in this tiny bed] Janis: [such a grumpy face] Jimmy: [when she looks so CUTE that it changes your face to 😏 to hide your genuine 😍😊] Janis: ['I'd push you if I wouldn't fall too, and your brother wasn't asleep, lucky' pokes him in the chest again for emphasis on the lucky] Jimmy: ['Nah, you're well anti me being on the floor, said it loads'] Janis: ['plans change, it happens'] Jimmy: [shrugs 'ain't like it'd be the first bruise I'd had off you, least this one'd be real'] Janis: ['can be arranged] Jimmy: ['go on'] Janis: ['later'] Jimmy: ['You ain't gotta be scared or owt, do it'] Janis: ['you're too loud'] Jimmy: [does a 🤐 gesture] Janis: [just LOOKing like are we on the same page I don't think so] Jimmy: [giving her such a look back, kill me tbh] Janis: [we all know she's gonna lovebite him, like] Jimmy: [forever letting shit happen because I want to] Janis: [going hard like the time you nearly took my nip off 'cos challenged and the levels of frustration] Jimmy: [and has anyone ever bit their own lip as hard as he'd have to in this moment jfc because likewise challenged not to be a loud bitch but we know he is and wants to be] Janis: [just keeps looking up to see that struggle like 😏 but also going back in more times than is necessary like] Jimmy: [holding onto her hair not in a soft way because damn people have died struggling less than he is rn] Janis: [the struggle is shared lbr, pulling away, SOMEHOW, 'satisfied?' 😏 you know damn well neither of you are] Jimmy: [just gesturing to his closed mouth with a shrug like I'm not allowed to talk so and we all know he'd need more than a minute if he was gonna] Janis: [just, ( and not very gently), touching all the bruises she just did like 🤔 hmm] Jimmy: [dying but not stopping her because this is all so NBD of course yep] Janis: [shaking her head 'don't worry, did 'em where no one will see, can't let work know how much fun you were having in your sick bed, like'] Jimmy: I reckon the manager's a fan Jimmy: seen him scrolling Janis: well, don't let him take advantage of you, like Janis: more dubious than 🤤 Jimmy: don't do work romances me Janis: 💔 Jimmy: sure that's how my dad reckons all his feel Jimmy: probably more celebratory in reality though Jimmy: based on what they wrote in his 'glad you're fucking off' cards Janis: I get you Janis: watch out for Ian from accounts vibes Janis: not #goals Jimmy: he ain't, soz to piss on your 💍 goals Janis: oh well Janis: think of something, like Jimmy: 🏆🧠 you, like Janis: Obviously Janis: he ain't gonna be pissed off at you that I'm here, is he Janis: probably doesn't know, like Janis: can use my ninja skills Jimmy: he'd have to come home to find out Jimmy: fuck all chance of that Janis: didn't know if he had Janis: his office wifey(s), I guess? Jimmy: Why would he? I'm here, means he don't have to be Janis: yeah, who wants to spend time with their offspring Jimmy: let you know when I meet someone who does Janis: s'shit Janis: why bother reproducing Jimmy: we were all accidents, he just put his name to us Janis: I guess Janis: once is an accident, three times getting dangerously close to a habit Jimmy: full of bad habits him Janis: and not even 😎 with it Janis: actually tragic Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: oh well Janis: won't sleep with my shoes on, then Jimmy: not if you're gonna kick me Jimmy: alright for injuries, tah Janis: shut up, you wanted them Jimmy: You planning to get into the habit of giving me what I want? Janis: depends Jimmy: don't it always Janis: you tell me Jimmy: Tell you what, that it's a bad idea to go with a worse habit? Janis: worse than what Jimmy: owt I've got Jimmy: so don't do nowt for me Janis: whatever Jimmy: 👍 Janis: don't flatter yourself Jimmy: weren't Jimmy: I were flattering you Janis: sure you were Janis: you ain't more deadly than 🚬 😎boy, calm down Jimmy: you can do better, I've already said, don't have to sound like a 🚭 campaign about it, mate but if that's what gets through your 👂 to that 🧠 Janis: oh please Jimmy: begging ain't a mind changer but crack on Janis: I ain't begging no one but don't patronize me Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: [turns and gets as much space between as is physically possible] Jimmy: [finally says 'night' to her] Jimmy: [breaking that silence for it lol] Janis: [makes a similar noise of disgust] Jimmy: [then he's just moving and fussing for an age, soz about it] Janis: [doing a big sigh and getting up and out] Jimmy: ['hang on' before you can stop yourself or she can go] Janis: [looks back like what] Jimmy: [just looking at her like he did at the party when he dragged her away from Harry and was like DON'T] Janis: [when you can't just get back in 'cos you'll look stupid but you do change your plan 'where's your loo?'] Jimmy: [he tells her because idk the layout as usual] Janis: [👍] Jimmy: [just having a sad soft boy moment hoping she'll brb] Janis: [does and silently gets back in] Jimmy: [swap 🥄s kids, when you actually breathe a sigh of relief though that your bae is back #same] Janis: [should probably let them go to sleep lol] Jimmy: [just gotta have him whisper that he's sorry when he reckons she is but yeah sleep and snuggle guys]

[keerawrrr]

I feel like it's gon forever be a tug of war between me n Juicy....lol idk if it's a bad thing or not yet....but what I mentioned earlier, came up after work n we sat n talked for 2hrs....he got off at 1, we didn't say our final goodbye til 3...lol n it wasn't all on that subject but majority was. n like I said, I pull away n he dnt wanna let go, he called me crack vs sober n steak vs kibbles n bits lmao I tried taking all the blame but he wouldn't allow me....my thing is....if he's so down for me n so into me n so protective of me....why not jst be with me? 100%...he told me, it ain't like he's denying me or treating me some type of way....he says I let ppl know you're #1 around here, I aint doing anything....I told him that was very true....but he feels I'm tryna be wifed up right here right now n I dnt think it's true but I atleast want the hope of it. I wanna he able to be 100% open about him n I can't if he's not tryna take that step....right??! -rolls eyes- anyway....we ended up in a puddle of nonsense like we always do....him agreeing to follow my lead as far as keepin a distance but then back door kissing my hand, giving me the eye, telling me I'm sexy, hugging me entirely too long n kissing my face....lol like dude....fck....idk maybe it's me as usual but I dnt see why I should be OK wit just going with the flow forever.....I know this isn't what he wanted, but he's in it now, n he prolly wouldn't have known this was what he wanted had I know pushed the envelope.....but I dnt wanna be stuck in limbo, I have demands n I'm letting it be known, if u dnt like it, back off like I'm trying to....but u dnt want to....lol fck! I hate him....not literally, it's jst what I say....& I think what low-key makes it more frustrating is that a few of our friends legit think we're a couple....like they dnt even have a CLUE of the struggle I'm dealing with....we're not a couple! n they say things like today I told my friend I was learning Spanish lines n shes like "for your future life with Tommy" n I'm jst like what?? no! no.....maybe? lmao -rolls eyes again-.....we left things on a happy note, like he always makes me feel better but deep down I'm still conflicted. I dnt like settling no matter how great u are. I'll drop u like a hot potato. I just want a little hope in knowing my daring choice was for nothing....4 months in....n we've only gotten better, so why won't he jst accept it?