#u can tell which franchise is the favorite child
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I absolutely love your art style!!! The '87 turtles look so squishy, my babies! So glad I found your blog, makes me sad to not see as big of a fandom for 87 than for other tmnt but I guess that makes sense. Just popping in to say your art is amazing and keeping me well-fed, haha!
#not art#ask#this was very sweet#also!#it’s def a more tightly knit fandom but that’s part of what makes it fun imo ^^#there’s lots of talented ppl on here in this community#87 turtles my beloved#u can tell which franchise is the favorite child
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guys i think i’m gonna start posting one by one analysis posts on my entire eddie kaspbrak playlist cuz that shit is soooo him coded
i may not be hyperfixated on the IT franchise anymore but that playlist means so much to me cuz when i was hyperfixating i slowly put it together over the course of about a year and some of the songs are added by my best friend and that playlist is just like
literally my dearest child
so anyways here’s one :3
Comfort Crowd (Conan Gray): ok so this song is a very big comfort to me specifically so that’s already a big reason for it to be in the playlist but AGH THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE REDDIECORE SONGS IN THE PLAYLIST OKAY SO ITS MAINLY IN HERE BECAUSE OF THE PRECHORUSES BECAUSE THEY R SO REDDIE “telling you ‘i’m fine, i don’t really need nobody.’ but you say through a sigh that i said that line already.” IDK THIS ISNT REDDIE SPECIFICALLY IN MY HEAD BUT ITS JUST CUTE BUT SPECIFICALLY MY FAVORITE REDDIE LINE IN THIS SONG IS THE SECOND PRECHORUS WHICH IS “and even if i cry all over your body, you don’t really mind, say you ‘like your shirt soggy’” AND IDK THAT JUST FEELS LIKE SOMETHING RICHIE WOULD SAY I CAN IMAGINE IT SO CLEARLY IN MY HEAD— ALSO AT THE END THERES A LOT OF LINES THAT REMIND ME OF THEM “we mess around, and laugh too loud. and make the sounds we try to hide when people are around” idk just homophobic derry and shit and idk their friendship is cute— “by blood we’re bound” makes me think of blood oath, and then finally, the chorus, “yeah, i just needed company now. yeah, i just needed someone around.” idk this is cute “yeah, i don’t care what song that we play” (i hc eddie to be comforted by music a lot like me and i hc that richie makes playlists for him all the time) anyways yeah this song is so cute and really reminds me of reddie
anyways i’ll probably post random spam posts about it randomly but if you guys want u can put a number between 1-82 in my ask box and i’ll reply with what song that correlates to and what my reasoning for it being in there is :3
#gengars silly rambles#gengars eddie kaspbrak playlist#it 2019#it 2017#it 1990#it franchise#it movie#eddie kaspbrak#richie tozier#reddie
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100 unique questions to ask
i sat down and told my brain to come up with 100 unique questions (some more unique than others ok). send me some if u want :)
if you could pierce somewhere other than your ears, where would it be?
if you could be in a movie franchise (already made or a book that should be made into a movie), which would it be?
what are your feelings on bangs?
what is your favorite blanket material?
who is the last person you were mad at?
if you had to be sent up into space or into the depths of the ocean, where would you choose?
if you acquired an island, what would you name it?
are you afraid of death? why or why not?
what astrological sign do you think you should be?
who is the worst person you have ever dated?
if you could remake one movie the way you think it should’ve been made, which movie would you choose?
if you had to be a teletubby, which one would you be?
what are your feelings on caillou?
what is a custom/activity/experience/etc from another culture that you wish would be in your culture?
if you could choose where you were born, where would you want it to be?
if someone told you they could tell you the truth about god/religion/higher powers/the universe/the meaning of life/what happens after death, would you want to know?
what is your favorite part of your nighttime routine? sleep doesn’t count.
what is your favorite form of exercise?
what is one current trend that you hate?
what is a trend that died that you would bring back?
what era of fashion do you wish to bring back?
what is one movie or tv show that everyone loves that you hate?
what is a question you have always wanted to ask but haven’t? why haven’t you asked it?
did you have a teacher growing up that helped you through a difficult time? who were they?
think of a paper you have written sometime in your education. what was the topic?
do you believe in universal healthcare? discuss.
what is one song that makes you feel like love is real?
what is one song that makes you feel like you’re dancing in a meadow with the sun shining on your skin?
what is one song that makes you believe that things will get better?
have you met any celebrities? if so, who?
you’re being forced to move out of your country. you must choose another one to move to, and you may never leave it, even for vacation. what country do you choose? bonus points if you answer the city.
do you believe in the death penalty? discuss.
what do you think happens after you die?
name someone you love.
name someone you like, but don’t necessarily love.
how many soulmates do you think a person has?
what would you say was your sexual awakening?
is love always worth it? discuss.
pick up your phone. look at the text you sent closest to an hour ago. what was it?
do you believe in magical beings? discuss.
what time of the day do you feel most at peace with yourself?
choose one song. now choose someone else to sing it. what’s the song, and who is the new singer of said song? why?
have you ever cheated? on a person, on a test, in a game? why or why not?
what is an impulsive decision you have made that you don’t regret?
if you were given the opportunity to completely start your life over from the beginning with everything prior and up until your birth remaining the same, would you?
how do you feel about greek life in colleges?
what is an aspect or event in history that you were obsessed with as a child?
what would your wardrobe look like if you weren’t so afraid of being who you want to be?
describe your ideal town to live in.
what age are you scared to be? alternatively, what age were you most scared to be in the past?
do you have a secret you want to share? be as vague or specific as you want. get it out. if you want.
do billionaires work harder than other people? discuss.
if you had the means to start a charity, what would it be a charity for?
what is your favorite hairstyle for yourself?
what is your favorite memory from being 13 years old?
what is a movie that shaped who you were as a person at a young age?
which us state would you erase if you could?
what is a skill you theoretically want to learn but probably never will?
what is an obscure language you want to speak?
you are put in a dangerous situation where you have to fend for yourself. what is your weapon of choice? why?
what is a place you choose not to go to anymore? why?
do you think you’re living a fake life/putting on a facade/lying to people about who you really are? why or why not?
what is the color that defines your life? why?
you have the opportunity to go to an exclusive celebrity event. which one is it? (award shows, premieres, parties, etc)
you can bring back one person from the dead, but you must choose someone to die in their place. who are the two people you are choosing?
what is your favorite fun fact that people don’t really know?
pick up the nearest reading material to you (book/magazine/paper/etc). what is the first line of that reading material?
if you had to choose a sport to play professionally, which one would you choose?
what is the worst way someone has betrayed you?
what do you do to unwind/cool down when you’re upset?
what is the color scheme of your favorite sunrise or sunset?
what is a beauty product you swear by?
how do you feel about plastic surgery? discuss.
if you could get plastic surgery, would you? what would you change?
cotton balls or cotton rounds?
what is your favorite animal product?
what is one job that isn’t really around anymore that you would want to do?
if you lived in 1550, what would your life be like? make a character for yourself, but be honest about what it would actually be like.
if you had to attend school in another country, which country would you choose?
what will be/was the color scheme of your wedding?
is there something you have a really strong opinion about for basically no reason? what is it?
who is a person you would fight to the death for under any circumstances?
what would you do if you were in the hunger games? be honest.
what time do you think everyone should wake up?
what is your favorite type of nut? if you’re allergic to nuts, sorry.
what is your favorite part of your hometown?
you must get rid of one of your electronic items. you have no choice. which one do you sacrifice?
what is a conspiracy theory that you genuinely believe in? make it interesting please.
what is the first memory you have of oppression/discrimination? it doesn’t have to be about yourself.
what is one song from the 80s that still goes so hard?
what is a lyric that you hate? why do you hate it?
name 3 books you were forced to read in school.
how do you keep track of events/deadlines? calendar? agenda? your brain?
what is the first book that made you cry that comes to mind?
if you had to give a seminar about something, what would it be about?
how do you feel about your mother?
is makeup an art form? discuss.
what kind of videos do you primarily watch on youtube?
what is the scent of your deodorant?
at what age do you hope you die?
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thank u for the tag @diphthongsfordays !!
rules: post your top five favorite comfort characters
in no particular order:
1. gideon nav, gideon the ninth (tamsyn muir) - i mean, come ON. beefy jock lesbian who wields a massive two-handed broadsword! smashes through people and skeletons like a brick through a window! i am FULLY willing to admit that i got my love of aviators from her
2. daredevil, marvel comics - second ginge on the list ... anyways! i just think he’s neat. one of the only valid marvel characters tbh. has never had a bad run (except maybe frank miller’s awful bullshit but i mean. it wasn’t AS bad as a lot of miller’s other stuff? if that helps?). the only time he had bad takes was during shadowland when he was possessed by a demon. and also that other time he was possessed. moral of the story: all-natural matt never has bad takes. favorites of his runs include current one (zdarsk + chechetto my beloveds!), end of days (bendis), and reborn (diggle)
3. henry cheng, the raven cycle (maggie stiefvater) - the first and i mean Thee FIRST korean character (technically he’s korean-japanese-american?) i ever read that wasn’t stereotyped to fuck and back. i fell in love with him. he’s casually korean in a way that’s just ... very accurate! coming from someone who grew up in america with a korean parent. maggie doesn’t shove it in the audience’s face but you can tell she did her research. he’s literally one of my favorite men of all time. smart and stupid and possessing of some of my absolute favorite quotes from the entire series (which is a high bar!!!)
4. obi-wan kenobi, star wars franchise - he’s an entire greek tragedy all on its own. he’s hopeless in a way where you look at him and go “that man is going places! but not good ones.” he’s got it all! also that thing he does with the lightsaber and the two fingers. canon bisexual king!
5. dogma, the clone wars - i just think he’s neat. dogma and hardcase are my government assigned autism / adhd solidarity. this bitch has got one of the most rad face tattoos i have ever seen. he’s just a sweetheart. very easy to project upon :)
honorable mentions: boba fett (star wars), kix (the clone wars), neyo (the clone wars), sal the cacophony (seven blades in black, sam sykes), morgon (the riddle master trilogy, patricia a mckillip)
tag games taglist (ask to be + / -): @47crayons , @sleepy-night-child , @bladeverbena , @drippingmoon , @thrcneofthorns , @maderilien , @writing-is-a-martial-art , @wiz-is-sorta-a-writer , @mj-is-writing , and anyone else who wants to do this !!
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HARRY ZHONG (MITCHELL-WHITE)
IG info/bio: @/heedful.harry | 15.6k followers| hi, I’m Harry and I’m a business major. No, You don’t have to hold your applause 🧐
21 years old
From York, England
Cancer sun + ARIES MOON energy
He and his younger brother, Archie were foster children in the Mitchell-white household
which consisted: Harrison Mitchell and his daughter from a previous marriage, Briony, Piers White and together they had a surrogate carry their child, which gave them their second daughter, Pippa
Later they came to the decision to adopt Harry and Archie Zhong, if only that’s what they wanted too
It took longer for Harry to warm up to the family since he was still waiting and wishing for his mom to come back for them
He was diagnosed with IED around 15 years old
Goes to therapy for it and meetings with others with similar issues...he dreads the meetings since it makes him feel like he has a problem or something, which HE DOES but it makes him feel like a...but he knows that’s a ignorant way to think
He’s currently a business major and loves telling people about it *yawn* (don’t drag me lmao)
He’s thinking he’ll be a Financial analyst or a Marketing manager
The type of person who’s done a lot in his short life that it’s often unbelievable ex.) telling the villa he’s driven one of the cars that was used in the fast and furious franchise & getting pissed when bill and everyone else didn’t believe him
Harrison is a train driver and is normally bubbly + wears bright preppy clothes
He also loves Broadway, much to Harry’s annoyance...if he hears one more Hamilton song he’s gonna slam his head thru a wall stg
Piers is a music producer and is more reserved or “stand-off-ish” until he gets warmed up to you + his aesthetic is a rocker, yeah he’s got the whole tattoos and boots thing going for him, after all he was in a rock band
Piers makes the most $ and is of high status, which brought him and his family perks but is not a snob about it...it’s whatever ya know?
Harry’s closer to piers, feels he understands him more & can be kinda rude to Harrison when he’s in one of his moods but tries to be better at responding to him since he made him cry once years ago — yes he felt like complete shit afterwards
Harry is anemic so he always finds himself cold, experiencing fatigue, irregular heartbeat, and if he gets up too fast or moves too fast? Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the—FLOOO000R! (I’m making this joke as a person with anemia)
Likes cold weather since everyone else can feel what he feels on the daily
Plus he loves dressing for winter season, trench coats, wool coats, turtle necks, thermal t-shirts, fleece pants, rolled up beanies that keeps his ears covered and his hair glued to his forehead...you name it!
On the regular? He’s a khaki’s kinda guy, dress shirts, and loves wearing suit and ties...he’s not the biggest fan of jeans. He loves dressing fancy unless the measurements are bloody awful
I’m going by the alternative design for Harry and...whew! Then he’s 6’1 if we’re talking about the one they gave us then we all know he has a baby face, so I’d say he’s about 5’8
He’s got long legs + arms and hates how majority of his pants barely fit around his ankles
has dry scalp too
I feel like he’s pretty intelligent and sometimes it can come off as a know it all, yet, he’s always down to help people & isn’t condescending while doing so
He knows how to make soaps and would sell them on his etsy account in highschool where plenty shat on him for it so for awhile he stopped the hobby until Harrison encouraged him to keep at this if it was what makes him happy
Harrison is the type of parent you go to for comfort and hugs even if it might feel like he’s smothering you
Piers is the one who lets you come to him when you’re ready to talk about it, no pressure
Harry went to a high school that focused on technology so he’s all into the latest gadgets
This is a secret but he only got a apple watch to feel like a true spy
His intelligence got him somewhere with a few ladies ;)
He’s a certified freak, 7 days a week and had a handful of hookups and about 4 gfs in his life so far
He’s kinky!!!
& has a f**t fetish
His past relationships were not long relationships, which sucked but Harry felt like...this might sound arrogant, but it’s either their lost — although there was never any bad blood with his breakups! or his person was still out there somewhere...
I haven’t fully played his route (AJ stole my ass since I couldn’t romance seb or Nicky sorry) but I’ve seen screen caps and he’s a total sweetie if he’s really committed to you, you might be his “true love”
He’s nervous opposed to his usual confidence when he’s chatting to other ladies with ease, with you it’s different, it’s magnetic, nerve-wrecking, butterflies, electric, and exciting all wrapped in one
I feel like he shows his love language with quality time but also enjoys physical touch from his partner
Picky eater
But he was worst as a child! Barely ate anything which led to him being lanky or it’s in his genes but mostly he wouldn’t eat a damn thing
These are a few of his favorite things: figs, green tea, and almond milk
makes the best spring rolls with the rice paper, those are superior than fried! “Fried food will kill u u know!” “Okay bill.” “Iona, don’t know if u had too much to drink but, erm I’m Harry.” “R/WHOOOOssssh! And you’re s’pposed to be the smart one, yeah right.”
outside of the villa he found himself continuing his friendship with bill—even tho he pisses him off sometimes since he’s always got some shit to say but they’re probably the closest, Iona she’s always honest and is always a good time to be around when they hang out, Then there’s Camilo and Miki that he hangs out with too
Is the first one sharing about his day in the group chat with all of the villa, he can feel half of them rolling their eyes at him since many feel he tends to exaggerate
if he’s not endgame with mc...he kinda feels a way that Genevieve found her happiness in seb instead of him, it’s not that he’s bitter—he genuinely liked her and felt like maybe they didn’t try hard enough but deep down knows relationships can’t be forced. It’s just his ego trying to control things that’s all! plus he was comfortable with vieve even if it felt more on a platonic side...oh well
once slid into jen from s1’s dms one dark stormy drunk night & admitted on live that erikah kinda gave him some tips before going on the show... & that he thought one of the new girls that entered the villa was a better fit than one of the originals from s2 which caused him to get blocked by said original OOP
Has a circle of close friends outside of the villa, they’re all brainiacs and have something going for themselves
Enjoys action films and biographical drama films like: James Bond, John Wick, and the social network
Isn’t ashamed to admit that he loves using sheet face masks but isn’t the greatest at following a consistent skincare routine
Has his own back massager that he spent a lot of $ on since it wouldn’t go on sale and then a week later...it went on sale
sends a lot of “🙃🙂” texts when you piss him off
probably worked at GameStop, the apple store, Godiva, and currently works at a electronic repair shop for a side of cash but is looking for a internship since he’ll be graduating next year
Always Keeps cough drops on him? 
is a huge cuddler & falls asleep easily
His brain is always active, experiences REM sleep often
fav video games are tekken & hitman
owns a drone now 😏
also loves strategic board games & riddles
Took quarantine life seriously, did his research before it completely broke globally and started buying shit excessively in person and online that he sent most to his family before the campus shut down
Is the friend that will check on his friends :)
Keeps his dorm and his room back home CLEAN af, is OCD about everything being in order/organized. Will know if you touched his shit, Archie felt his wrath many times before
Has a life goal board in his closet, & plans to be fully established by 25. More power to ya Harry!
Celeb crushes: Victoria justice, Jesy Nelson, Deepika Padukone, Brec Bassinger, jasmine tookes, and princess Mae
Who does he listen to? oceanfromtheblue, Galimatias, Ta-Ku, Aries, Tyler, the creator, rich Brian, NIKI, viji, & AJR
Anthem = DPR IAN, “So beautiful”
#litg#litg3#litg s3#litg harry#litg genevieve#litg bill#litg seb#litg mc#litg oc#litg moodboard#litg headcanon#litg headcanons#yes I’m still doing these and it’s kinda challenging but at the same time not?
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Survey #327
starting to run outta steam... haha.
What design is on your shower curtain? It doesn't have one. Did you get in trouble for cussing on accident when you were a kid? Ha ha yeah, for yelling "HOLY SHIT!" once, lmao. Ever made a snow angel? Yeah. Do you laugh at racial jokes? Absolutley not. What’s the highest you can count in a different language? 999, in German. How’s your flirting skills? I wouldn't know, ask those I've flirted with. Have you ever cried over a breakup? For a whole year and then some. I still have episodes. What does your dream life look like? Living isolated in the woods by a river and waterfall with a fantastic spouse, me being a very successful photographer and at least somewhat above *just* financially "stable," maybe having at least one poem published, lots of pets (mostly snakes), plenty of travel opportunities (mostly for photography), being free of my social anxiety and actually being reasonably confident, back in great physical shape... I'm really daydreaming now. What’s something you wish would happen, but know won’t? bleh Where did you meet your current or last significant other? YouTube, back when it was a much more social platform. Do you enjoy wine? No, it's way too bitter. What did you last ask your parents permission for? I asked Mom if I could snack on some chocolate chips she was saving for fudge (since Christmastime...). She was fine with it. Periods are fun. Do you get annoyed when you hear babies crying? I shouldn't, but I do. Me and babies just don't mix. Why were you in a waiting room the last time? I was at a doctor's appointment. What’s your lawyer’s name? I don’t have one. Do you own a lot of scarves? I don't think I own any... Would you ever get a face tattoo? I doubt it, but maybe something very small and subtle. Are your expecting anything in the mail? No. What would you like to see out of your window everyday instead of what you see now? Nature. The woods. Would you rather have a house exterior made from wood, brick, or stucco? Aesthetically, wood, but I don't support the continuation of wood housing in a society where we have many other options that don't harm the environment as much. So, realistically, brick. What is your favorite breakfast? Cinnamon rolls. Do you own a diamond ring? No. Have you ever stripped? No. Do you remember the last movie you saw while on a date? IT with Girt. Whose house did you last sleep over at? Sara's. Yes or no: foreplay? Lmao who the fuck does it w/o foreplay first. Would you ever record you having sex? No fucking way. Something nobody’d ever guess about you? I used to be in great shape. Would you like to be a journalist? I actually wouldn't mind it. It was almost my minor the last time I was in college, actually, but the required courses were a no-no for me. Last year for school, we had an assignment where we had to choose a popular song to write a story based on. What song would you’ve picked? I don't know popular songs, so I'm picking any song. Off the top of my head, given my love for dark and morbid shit, maybe "Voyeur" by Otep. That song is messed up as fuck. No, it's actually not about sex, 'cuz I ain't interested in writing about that. Did the vacuum scare you as a child? I don't think it did. Do you have a long driveway? No, it's actually very short. Have you ever begged someone to stay with you? Oh yes. Are you friends with anyone missing one of their five senses? Not to my knowledge. Are you good at Pac Man? I'm no better than anyone else. Do you have an embarrassing period story? If so, what is it? No. Have you ever gotten high off a prescription medication? No. Do you prefer tampons or pads? Tampons. Pads are mega uncomf. How old were you when your parents talked to you about puberty? I don't know, actually. What stereotype do you fit the most? Geek, maybe? Emo? Idk. If you’re a worshipper, how do you worship? I don't worship anything. What’s your favorite pain reliever? Advil. Do you have a lot of people blocked on Facebook? Not a lot, no. Does your father have facial hair? Yes. Have you ever had a hamster? Yeah, we went through a few. All of 'em were evil. Grape or strawberry jelly? Absolutely grape. What language would you most like to know fluently? German. Do you remember the last song you slow danced to? "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin. Do you plan on having alcohol at your wedding? I don't know. Do you have an idea of who you might kiss next? I know who I WANT to kiss next, but that doesn't mean it'll happen. I hate psychic questions. Who’s the most controlling person you know? She's not in my life anymore. Do you own a microphone? No. Do you enjoy trailers at the cinema? I do. Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. A centipede, to name one. I've gotten more into the idea of owning invertebrates, and centipedes are in that hobby, but they creep me the fuck out. They're cool to watch, but I don't want one in my house. Do you have a picture of you throwing up the peace sign? Yeah, it's actually one of my favorite pictures of me without makeup. Has a very "me" vibe. Do you enjoy romantic movies, even when they’re cliche? Ha, yeah. Can you tell the difference between a Scottish and an Irish accent? Nope. Can you read music? Probably not anymore. Ever sang someone to sleep? No. What is the movie that you have waited the longest for/which film do you remember anticipating the most/are still anticipating? Finding Dory takes the cake. What is something that an interested guy/girl could comment about you, that would make you instantly open to them (e.g., “That book you’re reading is from my favorite author”)? If you compliment my Markiplier tattoo because you get it, we are immediately family. Out of all your usernames for websites, which one is your favorite? Do you use it for more than one site? Ozzkat. I use it essentially everywhere. Have you ever spent the whole day (or multiple days) just looking up one thing on the internet (e.g., videos of your favorite band, how-to videos, quizzes, etc.)? HA, way more than once. Hyperfixation is a friend of mine. Bow ties on guys, dorky or adorable? C U T E ! ! ! What are your thoughts on mini-skirts or mini-dresses? ALSO C U T E ! ! ! Have you ever died in one of your dreams? Yes. What appliance in your kitchen do you use the most often? The microwave. Do you use Skype to talk to your friends? Sara, yes. And Sam once in a blue moon if we're playing WoW together. Are you allergic to any animals? No. Have you ever had to go to the police department? No. Have you ever been called bipolar? Well yes, because I am. Have you ever made fun of a handicapped person? Hell no, and fuck you if you ever have. If a necklace/ring gives you green marks, do you still wear it? No. Have you ever had food poisoning? I don't think so, no. Favorite emoticon? Probably c: Do any emoticons annoy you? No, but an excessive amount of them I find disruptive to whatever I'm reading. Do you think there will be a WWIII? Yup, someday. Has anyone ever asked you if you were emo? Yeah, back in high school. The most interesting thing that’s ever happened to you at a grocery store? I dunno. Probably running into someone unexpected. Do you have any good book ideas? Having written RP since I was 10 years old... I could by now write a dozen dictionary-sized novels encompassing what I think are the greatest storylines. I genuinely do believe there's some fantastic stuff we've got, but there's just too many horribly dark and twisted parts in the evil mobs that I am not comfortable publishing. Are you gonna see Cars 2? Well, this is old. I never even saw the first one. In all honesty, can a person be too nice? Yep. *points at Weed from GDW* Have you ever posted a video onto YouTube? Yeah, mostly "meerkat music videos," I guess you could say. Some tributes to certain MM characters, others just music with meerkat clips. How often do you compliment other people? I try to any time I have a sincere one. I am very much for complimenting people openly and often. The Legend of Zelda series: Twilight Princess or Ocarina of Time? I'm not a fan of the franchise, honestly. Never got the hype. Do you even game at all? Most certainly, but not nearly as much as I used to... You can only replay old games but so many times before you just can't anymore. And the "newest" console I have is the original Wii, so... I definitely don't have the modern equipment. Would you give Zumba dance lessons a try if presented the opportunity? Probably not. Definitely not while my legs are in such bad shape; the dancing is pretty intense and would seriously hurt. I could easily imagine myself fainting. Do you own a rosary? No, but I did in my Catholic-raised childhood. Do you like Adult Swim? No. Sorry excuses for humor everywhere. What’s the first thing you do when you get on the computer? Do a quick check on KM just to ensure everything's in order. What’s one thing that you just wish you could do all of your life? Not have to pay bills, haha. If someone asks for your honest opinion, do you give it? Yes, if they emphasize they really want honesty. When was the last time you felt uninformed or out of the loop? Apparently some politician (I think) died recently and people practically rejoiced on Facebook. I knew zip about him. When in a car, where do you like to sit? Passenger seat/shotgun. Have you ever fought with a good friend over something completely stupid? Oh, absolutely. There have been plenty of RP-related arguments with multiple people... In the big picture, it's laughable to fight over a game, but when you're so invested in your own creations, in the moment, it can seem like a big issue. Those drama days are long behind me now. Would you ever visit a third-world country? I don't think so, no. It would shatter my heart, especially seeing children in poverty. Are you the type that’s too ashamed to ask for or use directions? No. You overhear two people gossiping about you; what do you do? Probably call over something like, "I'm not deaf, you know." I highly doubt I'd sit there with my mouth shut. Have you ever felt manipulated? Yes. If you were homeless, how would you cope? If I was truly, entirely homeless, quite honestly, I'm almost positive I'd kill myself. Have you ever done something just to fit in? Yeah. When was the last time you tried to impress someone, for whatever reason? I'm not sure, but I've certainly done it at one point or another. Do you think that the world could function in a state of anarchy? Definitely not. How well do you know your U.S. [or your country’s] history? I mean, I know the bare bones of it, but I'm far from well-versed in history. It was one of my weak subjects in school. Would you ever wish to move to another country? I'm not kidding when I say if it weren't for family, I would probably move to Canada. What is something that you do that others might consider “nerdy”? The way I write, particularly for academic purposes. I'm very descriptive and have an exceptionally large vocabulary. Have you ever had anything expensive stolen from you? Not from me specifically, but our basketball hoop was stolen from my childhood home. I doubt it was very cheap. Do you understand/notice when someone’s using sarcasm? Usually, anyway. When was the last time you were fooled? HAHA there was this drama video suggested to me on YouTube that involved Mark in the title, and I was mega confused and inevitably clicked. Now it's basically a YouTube meme just how "perfect" Mark is, so there was no real drama; apparently some newer fans are just upset at him for playing the sequel to HuniePop, a very sexual puzzle/dating game that's honestly entertaining and can be really funny. Like... he's played the original and despite the discomfort of some scenes (which are censored, mind you), he still had fun, and it was a big hit on his channel. So him playing the sequel isn't surprising, but apparently some people got shit to say. What first Impression do you hope you make with other people? Something along the lines of "wow, she's very nice." Have you ever thought about how you make other people feel/think? Well of course. I think everyone should take time to consider this. What is your stance on getting revenge? A petty waste of time. Any wise/truthful/witty quotes that you live by? Ha, another Mark answer. He once gave the casual innuendo of, "Life's hard; shouldn't you be, too?" (this might have actually been in a HuniePop video!), but when you take the... uh... sexual theme out of it, it's a good way to look at life???? Have tough skin, unmoving willpower, y'know, that stuff. Who was the last person you sat beside at a restaurant? My sister Ashley. Spongebob or Patrick? Patrick is a whole-ass mood. Would you rather watch little kid’s cartoons, older kid’s cartoons, or adult cartoons? Hm. Probably little kid's, given my love for Pokemon. How about watching regular cartoons or anime? Anime. Who is the last person you spent money on? Myself. Do you own a copy of Roller Coaster Tycoon? No; I had SeaWold Tycoon instead. I loved that game. Do you have any birth marks in embarrassing places? No. Have you used Limewire before? Of course. Free music for the low price of a catastrophic virus. :^) When was the last time you required a band-aid? I think when I cut one of my toenails way too short. Are you afraid of snakes? Oh no! I adore them so, so very much. Not saying I'm gonna go scoop up the first copperhead I find herping or something, but I love and respect them so very much. They are such fascinating animals. If you believe in reincarnation, what animal would you want to become? I don't think I believe in reincarnation, but hypothetically, maybe a lioness. Who do you tell everything to? Pretty much whoever reads these surveys, haha. Did you have candles on your birthday cake? Not my most recent one. Exactly, how old are you? I just turned 25 years and one month old. Have you ever been bitten by anything? Besides bugs, I don't think so. I've had cats and dogs playfight with me, but none have ever seriously bitten me with actual effort. Do you wear hats? No. What was the last song you sang along to? "Lunchbox" by Marilyn Manson. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years time? I'd like to be, but idk if it's realistic.
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valenwoke replied to your post “hi guys i finally saw the nightmare on elm street reboot i ranted and...”
Why were u mad?
OKAY LET ME GET INTO THIS AS BEST AS I CAN CUS IM SHIT AT EXPRESSING MY THOUGHTS
number one: wes craven wasn’t even asked about this film. they didnt tell him shit they just fucking went and made the movie with his character and his idea and was like byyyyyee which tbf the entire franchise rlly was wes having his like. child taken away from him and bastardized, only being able to reclaim it’s legacy in New Nightmare.
next, lets get into the character.
Freddy Krueger.
We all know Freddy as this really campy and jokey character. He’s a beloved slasher. He was funny and silly and his kills were creative and had funny one liners - robert englund brought to life this character and is one of the big reasons he was so beloved. He was a child murderer, yes, but a big thing along with it is we never actually saw him murder a child in the entire series. There was sexual undertones in subtext, and it was originally he was supposed to be a child predator as well, but they threw it out due to a real life scandal happening at the time and played it more subtext
Now. In the remake when they say they ham up the child predator shit they really, really do and it is NOT fucking pleasant at ALL.
But we will get more into that later.
Freddy in the remake, along with the entire thing tbh, is gritty. Edgy. Dark. He makes one liners and REPEATS OLD JOKES FROM THE SERIES, which throughout was liek. Haha that was in Nightmare (X), wish i was watching that one right now. His jokes were just. Flat. It wasn’t jokes it just made you kinda. Yikes. They weren’t delivered with the mirth and excitement like with Robert Englund. His makeup made him look like a fish. He was absolutely disgusting. Making gross sexual assaults on Nancy on one point, granted nothing exactly major but enough to make ur skin crawl.
He was played to be just. Revolting.
Which isn’t a bad thing to do for a character - but not to one that has been well loved and rather like a ‘fun wacky uncle’ kinda guy. Not one with an existing legacy to be a wise cracker looney tunes kinda killer.
But let’s get more into the child predator aspect of it because holy fucking shit.
They literally show flashback scenes in the movie of Freddy playing with the kids and it was all like. Cute and sweet if you didn’t know context but seeing him interact with these kids is like. Revolting and makes your stomach churn. Especially them showing the little girl with her back scratched and a five year old nancy crying to her mom how “he takes us to his special cave” and burst into tears because she was fucking defiled constantly.
Speaking of his special cave. Nancy and Quentin find it. And guess what they find? A bunch of photos of a naked five year old Nancy that Nancy sees and fucking has a break down over it because holy shit that’s fucking disgusting and heavy.
The movie is heavy. Very heavy and makes your stomach sick - and not in a like. Saw movie torture porn kinda way where you are like HAHA SIIICK. But in a fucking crushing reality and just makes you, the viewer, even feel utterly vile as you are watching this character be vulnerable and go through repressed trauma.
The whole movie deals with also Nancy and Quentin and the others apparently having repressed these memories and the parents trying to hide it by hiding their preschool photos and other things from their childhood.
It’s just utterly sickening and makes your skin crawl. Especially as much of Freddy goes after Nancy and speaks so vile to her about how she was his favorite, how beautiful the girl characters still are and how ‘grown up’ they are and just being a fucking creep.
Now that the story is pretty much fucking just. A fucking heap let’s get into the actual movie elements.
The one thing in the original Nightmares I absolutely LOVED was how dream like the dreams were. How they had this kinda dream like quality - it was whimsical! It was creepy and unsettling but also? Really fun? It was CREATIVE. The deaths were fun and imaginative! The crew had so much fun coming up and creating these kinda deaths that you rlly couldnt get away with in normal stories cus its a DREAM where anything can happen.
Now in this movie? It was just. Oh. We’re in a creepy classroom. Oh looks like we are in silent fucking hill and then one flash of lights AA we are i nthe boiler room oh nooo. Oh nooo u got slashed by freddy and now you’re dead. Okay. Cool.
IT WAS BORING It was gritty dark and jsut snooze. it didnt even give any tension it was just. oh ur trying to be scary and thats it. ok.
Now this movie is also a reboot, meaning it’s a fresh start to the series. So someone who hasn’t watched the original series should come in without having to watch the other films, right? Wrong. Now in the original movie, we followed the character Tina as a red herring to be the main character. The same thing happens in this movie, we do not follow Nancy (the one character whose name they kept. Which meaning if you have seen the original films, you know Kris is the Tina character and this twist is not gonna work on the previous fans who a MAJORITY IF NOT ALL this movie’s audience was. Even if you haven’t seen the first Nightmare most people know Nancy is the main heroine. I digress.) So we haven’t followed Nancy. At all. We see her once telling Kris she also saw something in her dreams and thats it.
Next we see her is when she comes to see Quentin. Sits down and just says, “Freddy” Where did she get this info? How is the audience supposed to know who tf that is or why or how or just. WHAT???
Okay. WHATEVER.
This movie also plays a lot on old gags, jokes, and visuals from the first movie as like. A homage. But they’re done.. So poorly. It just makes me go, “haha i remember that. wish I was watching that nightmare instead of this one.”
There’s also small plot elements that made me go ??? what. why?? like for example the mother of Kris apparently having kept one of her daughter’s dresses that was slashed when she was ASSAULTED AND DEFILED BY A MAN in a box upstairs with her preschool photos?? Like. Okay.
There is NO CHARM in this movie. No love. No passion. It’s just gritty and dark and just makes the audience feel utterly vile and absolutely tears apart the legacy of Freddy and NOES and everything Robert has done to the character. It has taken Wes’ original idea and story and just said Hey. What if we take this and just make it dark and edgier and SCARY OOOO. And then they tossed it in the trash compactor.
I feel I’m missing even quite a fucking lot of shit too but.
I fucking hate this movie so much dude.
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West Across the Sand: A Look Back at Kazan
When I first got into anime and manga, I was in my mid-teens, and it was the mid- to late 90s. And at least in my part of the world, it was a little like joining a secret society. You practically had to already know someone on The Inside, and it was like getting initiated. Whoever had been into it longer than you would want to show you the classics of the era: Ranma ½, Tenchi Muyo! (Which one? All of them), Akira, Vampire Hunter D, or any number of choice others. Soundtracks (if you were into that sort of thing) were hard to come by, and most of the ones I found locally came courtesy of either Son May or EverAnime – companies I later found out were Taiwanese bootleggers. You could tell the discs were bootlegs because the prices were reasonable.
In those days, getting fansubs meant sending blank VHS tapes to total strangers you’d found online, and waiting weeks (or longer) to get them back with anime on them, and everybody had the Anime Web Turnpike bookmarked. There’s still a website at its URL, though Wikipedia states it’s been offline as of 2014.
If you want to know where anime got its reputation for violence and sex, this particular era is where you want to look. The market for anime was small in those days, and the licensors and distributors really had no idea how to expand it. So a lot of them (in particular Streamline, Urban Visions, and U.S. Manga Corps; now all defunct) catered to the exploitation-flick market – the gore-hounds and the porn junkies, and the people we would have called edgelords if the term had been invented yet.
This was a time when you could use the word “Japanimation” utterly without irony, and there was a good chance that nobody hearing it would cringe.
Manga, meanwhile, was a total wilderness. You couldn’t find it in bookstores back then. That you can today is thanks to Tokyopop. Whatever their numerous and varied sins, they can claim to have done that bit of good, at least. And Amazon and Ebay were somewhere off over the horizon. So you had to go to your local comic book shop, and then you had to look around for yourself, because chances were that even the people who worked there didn’t know what in the hell you were talking about.
Most of the manga that was available came through Viz and Dark Horse (and maybe other avenues I’ve forgotten). But mostly Viz. Dark Horse got their hands on some great stuff (Ghost in the Shell and Blade of the Immortal, just to name two), but Viz got more stuff, and a wider variety of it.
At the tail-end of the 90s, there was the beginning of an anime boom that lasted until about the mid-aughts. I was at one of Crispin Freeman’s Q&A panels at Anime Central a couple of years ago, and he likened it to a tide rolling in about every decade. The tide comes in, hits a high-water mark, and recedes. Then it comes in again, a little higher this time, and recedes. In the late 90s, the tide came in and largely stayed in.
A large part of this, I think, was Toonami, which took a crowbar (part Dragon Ball Z and part Gundam Wing at the start, followed by others later) to the whole situation and forced the door wide open. A lot of what they showed was very commercial and fairly “safe” (or at least, could be made safe), but it accomplished what Astro Boy and Speed Racer and Starblazers and Robotech before had never managed, which was to make anime into a minor phenomenon.
In the wake of that sudden explosion, there were a ton of smaller and less established entities who got into the business. More of these, so far as I can remember, went into manga rather than anime (though there were a few new anime companies, like SynchPoint). It was probably cheaper than trying to get in on the anime side of things. Suddenly, we had Tokyopop (first under their Mixx Manga label, then later their own name), and DrMaster, and ComicsOne (whose publications were later taken over by DrMaster when ComicsOne vanished into the ether in 2005; DrMaster would follow suit themselves, just four years later), and Yen Press, and Studio Ironcat, and Seven Seas… Even reputable publishers like Del Rey got in on the act after a while.
It was an exciting time to be a fan, to have so many new avenues available through which to explore the hobby, each trying to find new and exciting material in order to carve out their own niche. Today, a lot of these publishers don’t exist. The market was growing, but didn’t ultimately grow enough to allow room for them all.
A certain part of me actually misses the bad old days. Like any rational person, I’m happy that one of my major interests is now at least sort of mainstream, easy to access, and at least somewhat cheaper (nowadays, companies like Aniplex only want an arm and a leg for a boxed set of Kara no Kyoukai; back in the day, they’d have demanded your firstborn). If nothing else, the release schedules are infinitely better. But there was something about being a fan back then that made me feel like I was a part of something, some group, some tribe. There was a feeling of having some hidden, secret knowledge, of knowing a whole language of fandom that other people didn’t understand, of having a line on something other people didn’t know about and didn’t get.
Really, though, I think what I miss most is the newness of my hobby. I miss it being strange and wonderful and full mostly of unknowns, of things yet to be seen and experienced. I miss knowing that twenty years ago, if I’d come across a copy of Beast King GoLion in a vendor’s stall, I would have lost my damn mind. Now, I just go “Huh. Neat,” and put it on my Amazon wishlist.
A few months ago, I was going through my old manga, and came across the three volumes of Kazan I owned, out of a seven-volume run. They were some of the first manga I’d bought in what was, at the time, the newer (smaller) size format that’s now standard for manga. Mirror-imaging, or “flopping” the artwork was still common at the time, although that practice was on its way out. If there’s one other thing we can all thank Tokyopop for, it’s normalizing the right-to-left format for manga in the U.S.
Kazan was written and drawn by Gaku Miyao, who was probably most famous for his character design work on the Devil Hunter Yohko OVA from the mid-90s. It was published in the U.S. by ComicsOne from 2001 to 2005. It’s out of print now, and it was never enough of a thing that anybody else cared to pick up the license after they vanished into the ether.
It doesn’t shock me that ComicsOne went under, really. They didn’t only release total unknowns, mind. They got Onegai Teacher and Onegai Twins. There was also Tsukihime: Lunar Legend (though that franchise has played second fiddle to its younger sibling Fate for a long while now). On the other hand, they also published Jesus, and the prophet from Nazareth has never really been what you’d call a favorite character in the anime fandom. Then as now, almost nobody in the fandom stans Christ. Except maybe Vic Mignogna, and, well...
I remember it being new and exciting when I was reading it. Now, looking back, it’s very much a relic of its times. Given that ComicsOne began U.S. publication of it in 2001, I’m guessing the manga was probably published in the mid- to late 90s in Japan. The artwork is a lot closer in style to what you’d see back then, as well as the character tropes and archetypes.
I’d always meant to pick up the remaining volumes – certainly I’d liked what I’d read – but I’d fallen behind on collecting them as they came out, and they were hard to find later on. Kazan was never a major item on anybody’s radar. It’s so minor that even danbooru has no images of it. At least, none tagged. Fucking danbooru.
My curiosity about the later events of the series had been going strong for close to two decades, so I finally broke down and bought the remaining volumes in an Ebay auction… and then didn’t read them, I guess because now that I had them, I could take my time.
I finally got around to re-reading the series just recently, and it’s been an interesting slice of nostalgia.
Kazan is a desert-punk story named after its protagonist. Kazan looks about eight years old, is actually closer to eighteen, and is about ten-thousand percent done with everyone’s shit. “Surly” doesn’t quite do it justice. He’s searching for his childhood friend, a girl named Elsie.
Back when he actually was eight years old, he was approached by a water demon who told him that his father Sheeroc had, in desperation at the prospect of dying alone in the desert, sold Kazan for just a cup of water. Sheeroc, leader of the nomad clan known as the Red Sand, was at that time questing about for a way to give his people a more grounded way of life. However, instead of Kazan, the water demon decided to kidnap his childhood friend Elsie, for reasons that go unexplained for most of the story. The demon also decided to wreck Kazan’s entire village just for good measure, and Kazan winds up the only survivor that he knows of.
Since that moment, he has not physically aged a day. The reason for this is also left unexplained for most of the manga’s run.
Suffice it to say that some of his surliness comes from having to constantly prove to people that, despite all appearances, he really is not a child. A lot of the rest of it comes from the whole “being sold to a water demon” thing.
His only traveling companion in the beginning is a giant white eagle with a red crest, named Kamushin. The eagle is so large and strong (or Kazan is so small), that he can actually carry Kazan at least for brief periods. Kamushin seems to be sentient at times, and whether he is or not, he tends to be the most level-headed one in the room.
Aside from the eagle, Kazan’s most easily distinguishable features are his shounen-hero hair, his tall red hat, and his knife, which he wields and throws with frightening accuracy.
It’s not long at all before he gains two additional companions on his journey. One is Fawna, a young girl capable of manifesting water at will. This power is a double-edged sword in a desert environment. It’s helpful while traveling, but the things people might do to have control of her power – and of course, by extension, Fawna herself – mean she has to use the power sparingly. She and Kazan initially come to blows once her ability is revealed, or rather, Kazan comes to blows. Fawna comes to bewilderment and confusion in the face of Kazan’s accusations that she must be the water demon who stole Elsie years ago. Why would she have the same power, otherwise? Eventually, though, he calms down. As he (and we) get to know Fawna, the idea of her kidnapping anybody seems laughable.
Fawna is making her way west across the desert to a country called Goldene. She has been summoned there, as Water People (this is the manga’s translation, and we’ll come to that in a bit) frequently are, as they are necessary for the control and upkeep of Goldene’s water supply. She’s around seventeen, and spends most of the story unaware of Kazan’s actual age. She seems to not really take his claims of adulthood very seriously. In fairness, “My name’s Kazan. I’m not a kid,” – practically his catchphrase, and usually a good sign that someone has a beating on the way – is pretty much exactly what you’d expect a kid to say.
With Fawna having the same water powers as the entity that kidnapped Elsie, and Goldene seemingly a place where people of that sort are gathered, Kazan decides that his quest is pointing him in that direction. Despite some misgivings, he decides to accompany her. Luckily, the two of them happen across another companion, an old woman named Arbey who has a talent for making explosives. She claims to know the way there, having been a citizen of the country herself at some point in her past.
So they go.
Along the way, they are beset by monsters and difficult situations with other travelers, as well as occasional tussles with Messengers, fierce and deadly agents of Goldene out kill Fawna (their reasons are initially unclear) and capture Kamushin, who turns out to be the White Eagle of Goldene, making him an item of high significance.
Part of what initially caught my attention about Kazan was that it reminded me in a vague way of Eden’s Bowy. This was a show I’d first seen fansubbed at AnimeIowa in 2000. If you want another really good example of just how different things were back then, there it is: Conventions would show fansubs, because the industry had virtually no presence at any of them except maybe the absolute biggest, so they could get away with it. I was nursing a minor obsession with Eden’s Bowy at the time. The three or four episodes I’d seen at the convention had grabbed my attention for reasons I’m not entirely sure I understand. Part of it was the creeping doubt over whether the show would ever get picked up for U.S. release (it did, in fact), and I figured I was unlikely ever to see it again. So anything that put me in mind of it got my attention.
As it happens, the similarities between Kazan and Eden’s Bowy run no deeper than the surface. There are the common elements of a boy in (mostly) white crossing the desert with a mystically empowered young girl and an older adult as companions, and in both stories, they’re seeking out a city that in some fashion lords it over the rest of the setting. Beyond that, they couldn’t be more different. For starters, Yorn, the hero of Eden’s Bowy, is kind of the quintessential Idiot Hero of shounen manga and anime: naïve, trusting, and ultimately kind of helpless on his own. Kazan, meanwhile, is intelligent, self-reliant, and aggressively independent. Cynical and deeply distrustful, he resists all attempts at friendship or other emotional connection with other characters, and the vulnerability that goes with it.
Kazan isn’t the most likeable character, but his attitude at least makes sense, given his background. He’s a very (understandably) angry young man trapped in a child’s body, and a lot of his problems come about as a result of his hardening himself against a world that seems destined by turns to betray him and refuse to take him seriously. When we see him in flashbacks, he’s a sweet kid. A bit of a crybaby, even.
Still, in the present of the story, he can sometimes be an unlikeable little shit. His early relationship with Fawna is rocky, and gets violent once or twice throughout the story, which makes me cringe a lot more in 2019 than it did in 2001 or 2002. In the interests of fairness, I should point out that he gets violent with quite a number of people, and all for the same reason as Fawna, which is that he feels what they are doing is either very wrong or dangerously stupid, or else he sees them as enemies. He’s an equal-opportunity asshole, I guess. So I want to say there’s nothing inherently sexist going on there. Still, it’s not a good look, and please understand I’m not justifying it by any means. But I do want to lend context.
The story does wring a lot of natural tension out of the relationship between Kazan and Fawna as natural foils to each other. Where Kazan trusts nobody and prefers to operate alone, Fawna is naïve and occasionally trusting of the wrong sorts, which gets her into trouble more than once. And she has a tendency, early on, to lash out with her power in anger or to harm others. This is sometimes for self-defense, but sometimes also motivated by anger. Kazan is – oddly, given that he’s otherwise the one more comfortable with the occasional necessity of violence – adamant that she not do this. Memorably, one of the times he’s violent with her is to stop her from doing something of that sort.
The manga doesn’t ever really spell out Kazan’s hangup about Fawna misusing her water powers, but I have a guess. I imagine that it has a lot to do with his initial association of Fawna’s water power with the water demon that kidnapped Elsie ten years prior. He has a strong (but never quite articulated) belief that in a desert world, anyone with the power to create water – in practical terms, the power to support and sustain life – should not use that power for evil ends. Fawna using her power only for good helps to mark a clear distinction between her innate goodness and the wickedness of the water demon.
Kazan himself, perhaps surprisingly given his anger and foul attitude for much of the story, tends to pull his punches. He’s not above beating his attackers silly and occasionally dishing out pain to those he feels are deserving. But he goes out of his way to spare people on a number of occasions, and when someone sharpens his knife to such an edge that it can cut stones, he actually requests that it be dulled again so that he doesn’t kill someone by mistake.
Refreshingly, there’s no will-they-won’t-they pseudo-romance between Kazan and Fawna. I don’t object to a romance angle in a story in principle, but it often gets teased in a story like this, where the two leads are each other’s foils and love interests both, and it’s just done to death. It tends to get shoehorned in because the creators of these stories (perhaps egged on by their publishers) feel that it’s necessary. Broadening the demographics, maybe? But there’s a sort of obligatory feeling to it a lot of the time, as if it’s clearly being done because, well, that’s just what we do with stories like this, right? It gets to the point where you wonder why anyone bothers teasing it. We all know from long experience how things are going to end up. But Kazan is clearly fixed on Elsie and Elsie alone. He and Fawna are simply friends and partners who, by the end of the story, understand each other, and work together, very well.
Another thing that’s nice about Kazan is the refreshing absence of much cheesecake fanservice. A few characters are dressed in provocative outfits here and there, but even when that’s the case, the “camera” doesn’t really leer like you might expect. There are one or two moments that had me sighing and shaking my head – a couple instances of the sadly typical Faux Sexual Assault As Comedy – but at this point I like to think I’m an old vet when it comes to this. It’s disappointing, but it’s the kind of thing you learn to resign yourself to if you’re going read much manga or watch much anime at all.
The final chapters of Kazan rely on a lot of last-minute revelations to explain everything. It’s not really a matter of deus ex machina exactly so much as it is a matter of insufficient foreshadowing. It would go down a little easier if some of these ideas had been set up maybe a little earlier in the story. But it’s hard to complain too much. Even as it clanks a bit toward the end, it never quite feels like the creator is pulling it out of his ass. The ideas are sound; it’s their tardiness that’s the problem. But even if it stumbles a little toward the finish line, Kazan’s ending is ultimately satisfying, and earned. The last few panels are pretty much perfect, and exactly what I spent most of the manga’s run hoping for. And of course, there’s still the entire rest of the manga before it, which is certainly worth the read.
If there’s one place where Kazan actually falls flat, it’s the translation. And that, at least, you can’t blame on the original creator.
You could most charitably describe ComicsOne’s English translation of Kazan as workmanlike. It’s not really a machine translation, but it does seem at times to veer awfully close to that territory. It’s there, and things basically make sense; that’s about the best you can say for it. Ultimately, though, it’s just lacking something. There are places all over Kazan’s seven-volume run where the phrasing seems bland or off, where it lacks real punch and personality, and where it seems just plain awkward and stilted. There are times when it seems like the characters lack a distinct voice. Spelling is also inconsistent. The name of Kazan’s father is spelled Sheeroc in the earlier volumes, but Shiroc in later ones. And there are placement issues as well, where sometimes lines that are clearly meant to be spoken by one character are lumped in with the dialogue in another character’s word balloon. Overall, the translation is some real amateur-hour work. This seems to be a trait of ComicsOne; the one volume of the Tsukihime manga I own has some of these same issues.
But this isn’t a problem I can really hold against the manga, since it’s a problem that (to the best of my knowledge) wouldn’t really have existed in the Japanese version. And it’s hard to fault the original creator for how translators handled his work after the fact.
There’s not much like Kazan out there that I’ve seen. I don’t have a lot of recommendations in the vein of “If you like X, Y, or Z, then try Kazan.”
Part of the reason I enjoyed Kazan as much as I did is nostalgia. Not for the story itself, but for the times it puts me in mind of. The kind of story it tells; the specific way it handles its characters, and manifests their archetypes and tropes; the way it’s drawn; all of it is intensely reminiscent of its time. There is a certain Look or Aesthetic I’m fond of in anime, and it tends a little toward the particular stylization and combination of traits that was very stereotypical at the time I was getting into it. But even as that’s a stereotype, there’s something about it that I actually find visually appealing. I suppose it goes back to my nostalgia. When this was a new hobby for me, that look was practically shorthand for everything anime stood for.
More than that, it’s a time capsule, a snapshot of how things looked when I was first getting into my hobby. I’ll probably never again have that feeling of things yet to be seen and done, mysteries yet to be uncovered and explored, at least not with this particular hobby. But reading something like Kazan, I’m reminded of those times with great intensity.
There’s also the setting. I have a soft spot for huge, wasteland vistas. As much as I can recognize that, say, The Weathering Continent is not really a good movie, I still find myself drawn to its world. This extends into video games as well. One of the things I loved most about Shadow of the Colossus (either version) was simply wandering its world. Something about characters surviving in such a hostile, sometimes even decaying environment just grabs my imagination and runs with it. But I’m picky about these kinds of stories, too. I prefer my environments and my characters to look and sound and act a certain way.
Despite the inescapable influence of personal appeal, though, I still honestly think Kazan holds up, and is very much worth a read. It’s not going to be the easiest thing to find, but on the flipside, Kazan was a manga published by a company that never really achieved notability and stayed in business for a grand total of maybe six years at most. So while the supply has never been very great, neither has the demand. The prices haven’t gotten exorbitant, and I don’t see that changing in the near future.
In all, it’s worth the effort to track down if you can.
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Megami Tensei where u at??
When you are down in the dumps about your favorite video game franchise and the future of a series that is special for you, sometimes you end up seeking it out in places that are … unexpected. I’m going to talk about how, over the last couple years, I ended up seeing three different flavors of Megami Tensei in three different games, and maybe by the end of this we can all end up feeling like it’s okay to move on with our lives. Just keep telling yourself that your favorite games are not your identity and it’s not that serious bruh but also tell yourself that it is therapeutic to collect many paragraphs of thoughts you have had about this to write at length about in your blog.
First up is a game that many many people have noticed is very Megaten and that is the Digimon RPG, Digimon Story: Cyber Sleuth. There was no reason at all for this to be as good of a game as it is. I have no special affinity for the cartoon show. I do not like the Devil Survivor character designer even a little bit. I do not find grinding and monster collecting for the sake of monster collecting entertaining. But from the very first trailer something seemed compelling, and as good word of mouth spread I decided this was going to be a game I needed to play.
Again, everyone has already commented on how Megaten this game feels, and for me the closest specific analogue is actually Raidou Kuzunoha. From the first extended trailer I noticed the jazzy main theme, the detective agency conceit, the visible partner monsters appearing in a Tokyo with bold camera angle choices, and felt a weird familiarity. Digimon also function very plainly as Megami Tensei demons in multiple ways, not only mechanically but also through their story roles. And the somewhat arcane stat manipulation needed for high-end Digivolving scratches the exact same itch as high-end Megaten fusion from previous SMT iterations, which is both a dangerous (100 hours of playtime good lord) and wonderful (100 hours of playtime good lord!) itch to scratch.
You need to put up with some annoying characters and prattling dialogue, but unlike other games there is no pretense here which absolutely helps. Also, re-interpreting traditional Japanese folklore through the lens of the Digimon world is something that never stopped being fascinating for me even amidst a sub-par localization, and as someone with low familiarity with the cartoon, the Digimon designs themselves were alternately hilariously bizarre, bafflingly stupid, and straight up awesome. They even have their own Lucifer!
By the time you get to the second half of the story where the game completely changes and becomes about alliances and faction-building and what happens to a city facing apocalypse, when you take in the incredible atmosphere in Odaiba all buoyed by a soundtrack that has no right to be as good as it is, you start to feel optimistic about how Megaten influence can live on even outside of the series itself.
Next up is an entry from another series that is occasionally compared to SMT, but this one in particular feels like it was only played by two or three people at all when it was miraculously released earlier in 2019 for the Nintendo 3DS. I’m talking about Yokai Watch 3. Arriving close to three years after its initial Japanese release to utterly resounding indifference, this game’s hook is that you get to play in “America,” but as you can tell from the quotes around America this is actually much more complicated than it seems in a way that specifically draws comparison to my beloved Revelations: Persona. You see, the very Japanese Yokai Watch series city location of Sakura New Town, Japon, was localized here for us as Springdale, Springdale back in the first game. This decision has led to many wonderful incongruities moving forward that are honestly identical to those in the Lunarvale of Revelations: Persona. Gotta love these small American towns with Shinto temples in em!
With Yokai Watch 3’s plot focusing on the family moving to actual America though, and the cross-cultural hijinks that are meant to ensue, things quickly get even weirder and more strained. Protagonist Nate Adams complains about the difficulty of understanding southern accents while slurping down sukiyaki. Shopkeepers with tempura-based hairstyles serve traditional Japanese dishes in the quaint American township of St. Peanutsburg. Huge timezone differences between America and “America” are introduced. And all of this is refracted through the even more convoluted localization prism of this game about two versions of America being scripted by the British, leading to children aspiring to be “basketballers” and restaurants having “oriental” atmosphere.
I’m barely scratching the surface of the dissertation-worthy unpacking needed for all of this, and it’s difficult to describe just how deeply weird the vibe can get in this game. In just the first twenty minutes of Yokai Watch 3, you have 1) a purely nutso anime opening featuring scary demonic folklore-based yokai, robots, and cat mascots 2) Mulder and Scully very seriously discussing mysterious “Y Files” 3) a rhythm game where your very American family devours an enormous amount of sukiyaki 4) the same very American (or in the game’s terms, “Springdalian”) family leaving their home to move to the state? country? of “BBQ” and 5) suddenly you are an otaku girl going to a figure shop in “Sparkopolis.” This is just as delirious as it sounds.
Revelations Persona’s uncanny America atmosphere may be one of a kind, but Yokai Watch 3’s frequently insane scenarios can sometimes recall a similar sort of lunacy that leads you to end up fighting a giant mechanical rat while a song with the track name “Child Abuse” plays, or chatting up a populace of mole-covered rainbow afro’d citizens in a locked down mall. At one point after returning from one of Yokai Watch 3’s various alternate dream worlds (very Persona!) my game was even afflicted with a commonly reported glitch that caused the environmental textures to not load, leading to a flat polygon world and some authentic PSX Lunarvale vibes. Throw in all the folktales and mythology involved in the yokai themselves and straight up demon fusion in a cathedral and suddenly you’ll end up experiencing more Megaten than you’d ever expect to see in an RPG targeted to young children.
Last up is an all-time classic that actually predates Shin Megami Tensei entirely, making it temporally impossible for any influence to show up, which muddles the entire concept of this essay but please roll with it you guys this is just how I feel. I’m talking about the seminal Phantasy Star, for the Master System, which I played through M2’s loving, impeccable SEGA AGES port on Switch. This game, which was released in 1987, is simply incredible. Right off the bat you’ve got genius-level programming from Yu Suzuki himself, which allowed for the first person dungeons to scroll so smoothly that posting a snippet of directly captured footage from the game can still lead to semi-viral tweets. It’s these extremely cool boldly colored first person dungeons, along with the expansive feeling of the several worlds you visit that led me to feel some of the spirit of Megami Tensei 2 specifically in this game.
“oops i accidentally phantasy starred for four hours” is how I put it playing through this game for the first time, and it’s a given that a non-fantasy setting RPG where you can talk to the monsters would be appealing to me. Phantasy Star as a series was in fact deliberately conceptualized as a rebellion against the many fantasy RPGs of the time, and the developers have talked about this in a way that is practically identical to early staff interviews about the goals for Megami Tensei. Director and gaming luminary Rieko Kodama has remarked that the choice of a female protagonist was also considered rebellious, even though it felt like a natural choice for her on a personal level.
Megami Tensei 2 is the game that builds the structure for Shin Megami Tensei as we know it today, moving away from Megami Tensei 1’s single full-game dungeon format to a world map with numerous discrete dungeons and eventually, paths to alternate worlds. Phantasy Star shares this exact design format, which still feels so expansive and impressive to this day. It’s a treat to get to experience a game like this over 30 years after its release on current hardware and still feel such an impact, and all of you need to go out and buy buy buy this game, seriously give M2 your money.
I’ve taken it as a given that everyone shares my perspective on where Shin Megami Tensei is at these days as a series, and it’s obviously never a good look to come across as an over-dramatic scolding bitter old who has retreated into pure irrelevance. But by documenting all of these observations down for myself, I can at least feel better about finding bits and pieces of various Megaten strains in the games of today. The lesson learned is that even if you feel your favorite franchise has lost its way, you may be able to find parts of it in the places you least expect.
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I just finished Explorers of Sky last night, so hunker down, folks, this review is long.
The Pokemon Mystery Dungeon series has been one that has stuck with me since I was a child. I remember the first time I woke up in Blue Rescue Team as a mudkip, and made friends with my partner to rescue innocent pokemon in need. It was a fun time, and I absolutely loved the story. The ending was one of a few games that made me cry, and when I played through the sequel, Explorers of Darkness as a bulbasaur, it was even more emotional.
For quite a while now, I’ve been feeling nostalgic. Playing through earthbound for the first time got me in the mood for more retro games, so when looking through the eshop on the Wii U, I was excited to see Explorers of Sky on the virtual console. It was the version I played the most, so when I saw how cheap it was (it was 10 bucks?? wow????) I jumped on the chance to play it again after all these years.
Let me just say, first of all, that the opening theme to the Pokemon Mystery Dungeon games is nothing short of iconic. When I started the game and saw the opening cutscene about a week ago, my heart leapt for joy. It felt like no time had passed since the last time I played this game, laying underneath my covers on a school night, as I fought through dungeons and explored far off places. It’s not to often that music affects me so strongly in a game, but the music in the Pokemon Mystery Dungeon series holds a very special place in my heart.
And I'm proud to say as an artist myself that this game is absolutely gorgeous. The pixel art is bright and colorful, and the cinematic shots that scroll across the top and bottom screens are just as beautiful now as they were when I was a kid. I’d love to redraw some of my favorite scenes in this game, like the opening of the game - a beach at sunset, with bubbles blown by krabby floating gently in the wind, or the shots of the underground lakes with the time gears in the distance.
The gameplay is simple but fun. Your goal is to navigate mazes to find the exit to the next floor. There are useful items scattered throughout the maze, and there are enemy pokemon that more often than not you end up having to fight. Just like any pokemon game, you have four attacks maximum, and you gain experience from winning battles. You also have a basic weak attack that doesn’t use up your main moveset’s PP, or power points.
Depending on what your mission is, you either need to explore a dungeon entirely, or navigate it partially in order to rescue pokemon, or apprehend outlaw pokemon. For most of the game, random pokemon may want to become a member of your team, which can come in handy sometimes, especially if you’re going to fight a boss at the end of the dungeon.
As for the story, it opens up like most PMD games: you, a human, wake up to find you are now a pokemon, with no memory of who you were before aside from your name. This time, your partner finds you unconscious on the beach at sunset. After you tell them about how you’re a human, they are robbed by two mean looking pokemon, and your partner asks you to help them recover thier precious treasure, which they call the Relic Fragment.
After the two of you recover your partner’s stolen treasure, they ask you to join them in becoming aprentences at Wigglytuff’s guild, which is a guild full of pokemon who all are training to become explorers. The guildmaster Wigglytuff allows the two of you to join, and you begin your adventure as an exploration team.
Together, the two of you uncover the mystery of your mysterious power to see the past and future related to certain objects, discover why time has been flowing so strangely in certain places, and face off against powerful enemies, and eventually save the world from falling into darkness. You bond with your partner and become close friends, and they rely on you for the strength to be brave in the face of danger.
All in all, it’s a very charming game. It’s somewhat simple, and the characters have very clear personalities, which is understandable, considering this is a game aimed at children. But for what it’s worth, it doesn’t treat you like your a child. It’s simple and clear, sure, and a bit repetitive in dialogue, but I think it makes the characters very memorable and distinct from each other. They’re not stereotypical for the most part, and most npcs have lots of unique dialogue if you care to talk to them. It’s completely optional, but I feel like it gives the world more depth, seeing all the unique pokemon living together and talking about current events, especially since some of them have unique opinions from most. It makes me care about these pokemon, and I want to save the world for them because I like them, and I want them to live happily in peace.
I had a wonderful time playing this game again now that I’m an adult. My experience was somewhat different now that I’m older, wiser, and actually knew the whole story before I played, but it was a fun time nonetheless. It was relatively easy compared to games I play now, but between the artstyle, the story, the music, and the characters, It made up for it completely.
Whether you’re looking for a good game for your kid, or you’re a pokemon fan yourself looking for a good entry point to the PMD series, I highly recommend playing Explorers of Sky. This version is identical to Explorers of Time and Darkness, but with added pokemon and (if I remember right) more post-game content, as well as extra missions themed around some of the other pokemon in the game. You’ll get slightly more from it, but any of the three games would be good if you just want to play through it casually for the story. Explorers of sky just happens to be my personal favorite version in the franchise, and continues to be one of my all-time favorite games.
#espy talks#i'm sorry if this doesn't show the break on mobile cause it's very long#but ya know i like writing what i think about games#i remember wanting to be a book reviewer when i was a kid and read a lot#...video games are kinda like books right?
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I-Z-U-V :P
Thanks~! :p
i - has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?
If we’re talking about not liking fandoms anymore and not the series/franchise itself, of course, gintama fandom attitude drove me off its fandom and made me dislike a huge portion of content in the series because of a lot of toxic people, even people I had never talked to have me blocked for some reason, because I dislike their waifu then gotten me involved in their shit talking in their public platform which is hilarious if not I feel sorry for that deranged person, no bitter feelings attached personally but I dislike that person because of them attacking my friends but since it still has a special place in my heart as one of my favorite series, i still enjoy the content exclusively with my friends and I refuse to search for fan content anymore unless I happen to see it in my dash/timeline. Other than that I haven’t liked the series itself because of tumblr, gintama was the first series I became active in in fandoms and tumblrr, I was a lurker most of the time in my previous fandoms and didn’t get myself involved with drama or loud people so I just naturally stopped liking them.
u - three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.
Komaeda Nagito from Danganronpa: My ultimate favorite at this moment, to make things short he’s all in one package I’ve always wanted in a character: soft demeanor, sparkling fake that’s not considered charismatic by others ^_^✨, morally gray with idealistic view that eventually destroyed him, contrasting complex personalities that I never get tired of analyzing and each day I learn new things about him, has a tragic past that didn’t hinder nor trapped him forward but rather shaped him for who he was and moved on (he honestly gets little appreciation in this department, this boy had been through so much but smiles and accepts what was to come in full arms, in a way makes him so emotionally strong yet fragile at the same time) and ultimately, his death broke my heart the most, not because he died but his intention behind it made him capture my heart and crashed it literally with spear.
Toph Beifong from Avatar: My childhood sweetheart
Imai Nobume from Gintama: I fell in love with her even before I caught up the first episode she’s in. She’s so gorgeous and I love girls introduced to be ruthless and deadly, and her first appearance did that. She’s trained as an assassin as a child and had been cutting down people since then, even though she appears to be an emotionless killing machine, she has a sense of humor fitting to the series, has a childish streak and with that she gets along well with other (sadistic) girls (kagura and soyo), doesn’t give a fuck to senseless uninteresting things, and will bring down people she deems bad with no hesitation. Her story with sasaki is really emotional to me, the most this series has ever made me feel, I love them and their found father/daughter relationship. I love how her development went too in farewell shinsengumi arc, how of all people it’s kagura who understood her and saw her tears, telling her to stop fighting and live how she wants, that she can be more than assassin she grew up as and no one can stop her, not the organization who raised her to be a killing machine and not the promise she had with sasaki where she’s the one who’s going to end him as an assassin. I love the moment kagura told her too that earth is the star of freedom.
v - which character do you relate to most?
Ahh this is difficult, I never try to see myself in a character and ~relate~ to them, as much as possible I make myself disconnected to the characters, not associating them to myself. The only time I ever considered relating to a character was punpun lmao, I relate to his pathetic-ness when I happened to read oyasumi punpun during dark times.
z - just ramble about something fan-related, go go go! (prompts optional but encouraged.)
okay, i haven’t considered making a fanfiction ever but there’s an AU i’m fond of, AU with no hpa and where Komaeda and Servant(Meshi) are brothers and kamukura and hinata are twins :D In this setup it’s focused to meshi and hinameshi with kamukoma in the sideline uuuuu anyway it doesn’t go well, i have no concrete plotline and ending, all i thought of are sad stuff. Komaeda in this AU still has his cycle of good and bad luck but with meshi’s presence as his older brother(a year or two, i’m pretty undecided), and not so good relationship with their parents, he swore to never leave komaeda’s side so he’s the one who caught all the bad luck komaeda’s cycle produced, marking him the “unlucky child” in the family while komaeda is credited with the good luck he brings, although it doesn’t necessarily means he’s treated much better. (Anyway it’s my hc komaeda doesn’t experience bad luck himself unless there are no people around him therefore the bad luck he experienced with the kidnapping and diseases was because he already lives alone in that time) So with that, it was Meshi who experienced and endured the terrible things to keep Komaeda and other people from harm. I’m undecided if I’ll also include the cancer and dementia...
Things are rough from here, I’m still contemplating how Meshi would act in this setting and how similar it would be from dr:ae so i could change stuff from here. izuru, hinata, and komaeda were high school classmates where they all met each other. all of them have their internal conflicts which is similar in canon but with no hpa presence, meshi has a complicated relationship and attachment with hinata who feel overshadowed by his twin, meshi doesn’t like izuru, izuru and komaeda kind of get along as outcasts and hinata is intrigued with the komaeda brothers. Four of them used to hang out though, meshi and komaeda can’t cook so the twins come over from time to time to keep the house from burning and feeding them. Sometime after meshi graduated, there’s a shift in his relationship with hinata and the two started going out, meshi told about him and komaeda and hinata wanted to change it but how? when the three graduated, komaeda and meshi moved out and disappeared with no contact. Time skip happens and few years later, and things get even messier, komaeda is in uni and part times as a librarian while meshi doesn’t and works as a bartender (possibly fools around too), i’m still not sure what hinata does besides being in uni but he stumbled upon komaeda one day and brought the news izuru is in coma for overdosing. Hinata and meshi tried (or not) to reconcile due to their disappearance for years, and later komaeda took his own life... aha...
questions meme
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Piri’s Ultimate List Of Horror Recs (2017 Version)
my go-to compilation of ever single horror/horror-related media i’ve ever enjoyed, including slashers, paranormal, thrillers, creature features, and much, much more 🎃
note: this list has trigger warnings but i am operating under the assumption that you are okay with the standard level of explicit sexuality, vulgarity, violence, and gore present in mainstream horror
horror
original nightmare on elm street series, but especially 1, 3, 4, 6, and freddy vs. jason (tw for implied pedophilia and explicit child murder, tw for rape in #6)
friday the 13th (original and remake)
honestly all the friday the 13th sequels are A Treasure but if you want The Core Canon watch 1-3
my bloody valentine (original)
psycho (original) and tbh all its sequels (tw for sort-of-kind-of incest vibes)
psycho ii and psycho iv are my favorites because (1) meg tilly is adorable in psycho ii and (2) psycho iv has a harley quinn/norman bates cameo and nobody can convince me otherwise
child’s play, child’s play 2, bride of chucky, maybe some sequels after that idk i haven’t seen them yet :(
scream franchise
not the mtv scream series
i mean s1 is decent but there are definitely other horror shows that i would recommend more (will show up later in this post)
1-3 are the best, 4 is worth watching if you really like the characters but as a concept the series has p much run its course by then
tw for rape mentions in scream 1 and 3
predator
peeping tom
kenneth branagh’s frankenstein (tw for a graphic depiction of death in childbirth)
james whale’s frankenstein
bride of frankenstein
the phantom of the opera (1925)
the phantom of the opera (1989) (tw for mild body/surgical horror, general grossness; personally speaking, this is one of my all-time favorite phantom adaptations, because 1. robert englund as the phantom hello oh my god, 2. although it’s much more of a slasher movie than a gothic romance, it does an amazing job of portraying the tragedy in erik’s backstory and his attraction to christine, without implying that he is entitled to christine’s affection and that her love will magically fix him, as some phantom adaptations do)
the phantom of the opera (1943)
alien franchise
the wolfman (2010)
darling (tw for rape)
house on haunted hill (original and remake)
final destination franchise
medium raw: night of the wolf (tw for pedophilia and child murder)
the babadook
the final girls [horror comedy]
the shining (tw for implied child abuse)
the cabin in the woods
hellraiser (tw for incest-y vibes for very brief periods of time)
heathers (tw for eating disorders, suicide, everything high school kids are insensitive assholes about)
from dusk til dawn
an american werewolf in london
the guest
it follows (tw for dubious consent)
nightwatch (tw for implied necrophilia/descriptions of necrophilia, self-mutilation)
re-animator (tw for rape, pedophilia mentions)
carrie (original) (tw for child abuse, religious iconography)
the remake had some interesting like... subtext/imagery but other than that it was pretty *wet fart noise*
the awakening
the craft
the blair witch project
honestly i loved the book of shadows: blair witch 2 bc it kind of parallels the crucible but i can admit that objectively it is Terrible
elvira, mistress of the dark [spooky comedy]*
american mary (tw for rape, (consensual surgical) genital mutilation)
fright night (original and remake)
jaws
listen. this is a horror movie. it was a horror book before that. it was specifically written and later adapted for the purpose of scaring and entertaining people. real life is nothing like this. real sharks are nothing like this. there’s nothing wrong with this movie scaring you but there is everything wrong with using this movie as an excuse to advocate for the wholesale slaughter of animals. sharks are quite possibly the most graceful and beautiful creatures on this earth and i will personally fight anyone who says otherwise
halloween franchise
1-5 are the best imo but no matter what skip #3 because it literally has nothing to do with any of the other movies
not the rob zombie remakes, those are awful
let the right one in [swedish (?) film, watch with subtitles]
rosemary’s baby (original)
night of the living dead (original)
28 days later
suspiria
silent hill (tw for child molestation)
crimson peak (tw for incest)
the lost boys
interview with the vampire
the ring
one missed call
the raven (2012)
repo! the genetic opera
teeth (tw for rape, incest, it’s??????? about a girl who literally has razor-sharp teeth in her vagina and it’s a very tongue-in-cheek commentary on religious repression???? so idk like it’s a wild ride and i love it but watch at your own discretion)
american psycho (tw for rape, general misogyny)
sweeney todd
speaking from experience, this is much better live, the movie sucked out all the fun and humor that wasn’t literally written into the lyrics, so i recommend watching the original broadway cast on youtube or something
there’s also a 1936 movie which i haven’t seen so i can’t speak to its quality BUT i would recommend it on the basis of it being made before the musical was created and thus being based more directly on “the string of pearls” novel which is where the sweeney todd urban legend was originally documented
abott and costello meet [insert universal horror monster here] [spooky comedy]
little shop of horrors (original and remake) [spooky comedy]
the last man on earth (1964)
adapted from the same book i am legend (2007) was adapted from but the last man on earth stays much closer to the original book imo
c. h. u. d.
ghostbusters (1984 and 2016 versions)*
ghost ship
sick girl (tw for bugs, pregnancy horror)
misery (tw for torture)
puppet master series (tw for rape, nazism)
the haunting in connecticut
zombieland**
jurassic park series
lizzie borden took an axe
wolf creek (tw for rape)
it (1990, 2017)
i have........ some nitpicky issues about putting it on this list, because neither movie adaptation really did justice to the whole concept of “derry itself is an extension of an eldritch horror and the real scary part of the story isn’t the clown, it’s the horrible violent tragedies that have repeatedly occurred and then been dismissed throughout derry’s history, leaving the entire town in a large-scale sort of cycle of abuse” so ????????????? idk like i truly do recommend reading the book as well as seeing the movies for The Whole It Experience(TM), but i totally get that not everyone is gonna do that
the 1990 version tells more or less the complete story, but because of that it didn’t have time to include a lot of fun details
the 2017 version only tells the childhood portion of the story, which leaves it time to include fun details. i was really hoping to see more of derry’s backstory or more development on mike and stan as members of marginalized groups -> how that influences their life in derry, but we didn’t get much of that? mike’s importance to the losers (researcher, somewhat of a skeptic/hardass at times to keep the others together) was removed, his healthy family dynamic was removed (mike, richie, and possibly stan are the only characters in the book with healthy family dynamics, somewhat underscoring the concept that derry itself is trapped in a cycle of abuse), and derry’s history of racism is never touched on aside from the kids mentioning “the fire at the black spot” a couple times in passing. overall it was a fun movie and you can tell everyone making it had a blast but compared to the book it’s like. mmmmmmmmmmmmm
BASICALLY what i’m saying here is that the book is really deep wrt social issues, and while neither movie really touches on those concepts in-depth, they are still good horror movies on their own and ofc a part of american pop culture
house of wax (1953)
marnie (tw for rape, abuse and coercion in a marriage dynamic, animal/pet death, graphic depictions of psychological abuse, graphic depiction of a violent death involving a child)
cabin fever (tw for sickness horror/body function horror/unsanitary horror, occasional slurs)
mega shark vs. giant octopus
i don’t even have a real reason for listing this i just can’t believe it exists and i want the whole world to know
texas chainsaw massacre (1974), texas chainsaw massacre 2, texas chainsaw 3d
ju-on: the grudge
phantoms
the plot is pretty ehhh imo but the effects are great; rose mcgowan is gorgeous as always, peter o’toole’s character is great, and ben affleck’s character lowkey has some batman circa arkham knight vibes going on. also, liev schrieber becomes a tentacle monster. i couldn’t make this shit up if i tried y’all
vamps*
this movie. this movie
krysten ritter and alicia silverstone are a couple of vampires, sigourney weaver is their hot mess of a vampire mom, dan stevens is krysten ritter’s boyfriend, wallace shawn is van helsing but he’s basically just vizzini: vampire hunter au and it’s GOLD
it’s literally the cutest and funniest vampire media i’ve ever seen in my life as well as one of the most detailed when it comes to vampire lore i cannot recommend it enough
bram stoker’s dracula
death becomes her**
what we do in the shadows**
disturbia
frankenstein (2004 miniseries, more like a 2-part movie than a tv show)
flatliners (1990) (tw for drug use, uncensored depictions of cadaver dissection)
the cabinet of dr. caligari
the limehouse golem (tw for sexual assault and csa)
repulsion (tw for sexual assault)
the trial (1962)
*spooky comedy: a comedy movie with a spooky premise that i am categorizing with horror movies due to the genre overlap, but that lacks the intense violence, gore, etc. of a horror movie
**horror comedy: a spooky comedy that does not lower the level of violence, gore, etc. that is standard in a horror movie
thrillers
stoker (tw for incest, has a scene in which the protag’s mother verbally abuses her)
m [german film, watch with subtitles] (tw for themes of pedophilia/child molestation/child murder, but it’s worth noting that the whole point of the movie is to condemn and demonize pedophilia)
also one of if not the very first detective movies
nightcrawler (tw for rape)
the vvitch/the witch/however the fuck it’s spelled
rear window (1954)
zodiac
hannibal lecter franchise (tw for cannibalism, obviously)-- the silence of the lambs, hannibal, red dragon, manhunter
manhunter is adapted from the same book red dragon is (red dragon) except manhunter was made before anthony hopkins became The Iconic Hannibal Lecter(TM) so it focuses much more on will graham and francis dolarhyde
hannibal rising is worth watching for gaspard ulliel’s performance but the book was much better
the hannibal movie adaptation changed the ending of the hannibal book while still maintaining a really good and really compelling storyline so the book and movie are definitely both highly recommended by me
gone girl
shutter island (tw for asylum horror)
pan’s labyrinth
tiger house
the champagne murders
the plot and pacing are a little ehhh; in my opinion there was too much tension buildup between characters and not enough actual plot development. BUT, anthony perkins is in it so it’s worth watching if you love him like i do
documentaries
cropsey (documentary on child murders)
urban legends (another documentary, by the same people, talks about how real-life crime affects the american psyche and lives on as urban legends/horror tropes)
the poisoner’s handbook
h. h. holmes
nightmares in red, white, and blue
his name was jason
never sleep again: the elm street legacy
american ripper [currently ongoing tv series]
television/youtube
bates motel
ahs s1 (tw for... literally everything)
slasher
similar basic premise as ahs, but imo ahs is v exploitative and builds the plot on violence and vice, whereas slasher builds the violence and vice on the plot
supernatural (LISTEN........ LISTEN....................... conceptually it’s the bees knees okay)
penny dreadful (tw for constant explicit sexuality, religious iconography/sacrilege, asylum horror)
criminal minds
bbc broadchurch
bbc river
bbc sherlock but literally only ep. 3.4 “the abominable bride”
rosemary’s baby (2-part made-for-tv movie)
unedited footage of a bear
marblehornets
true detective
frankenstein (2004 miniseries, more like a 2-part movie than a tv show)
tbs’ search party
podcasts
the black tapes podcast
small town horror
alice isn’t dead
king falls am [spooky comedy, more sci-fi than horror but there is One Episode that positively screams “love letter to 80s horror movies” so i can’t leave it out with good conscience]
limetown
welcome to night vale [spooky comedy]
the dark tome
video games
until dawn
outlast series
five nights at freddy’s
dead by daylight
bioshock
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The Magic of Hosoya Yoshimasa’s Singing Voice
I stumbled upon a new Hosoyan song (which is not really new, but I just happened to hear it for the first time) which left me so impressed that my feelings just went overflowing that I found the need to write this post. :D
Note: This post is very personal. These are my own thoughts and opinions so people may actually disagree but at least to me, these are facts. Now whaatt
Hosoyan may not get as much spotlight as the others, but I am proudly claiming that his singing voice is one of the best in the seiyuu business. And I said one of, because Taniyama Kishou produces the best sound in the planet while Miyano Mamoru’s singing voice is the definition of a beautiful voice. Now back to Hosoyan (lol sorry I needed to point those two out), he may not be at par with the likes of the two, but Hosoyan’s voice is special in his own way. At least for me, his voice has the power to make any song sound good. More often than not, whenever I discover a song sang by Hosoyan, I get to like it by the first time I heard it; at times even just by hearing the first few lines of the song (and I am not exaggerating). This is the magic that not even Kiiyan and Mamo can do to me, even though I know that those two’s singing voices are more beautiful. And anyway, this does not only apply to Hosoyan’s solo songs; he can actually influence duets and group songs too.
I actually learned about Hosoyan first when I first heard Yamazaki Sousuke’s character song in FREE! I was not a Sousuke fan, but when I heard his song, I immediately searched for his seiyuu. The moment was like, Oh my gosh he actually sounds this good when he sings??? Ok wait who is this person I need to know who is he google tell me! And that’s when this loop of falling in love over and over again began.
While most of Hosoyan’s songs are really damn good, these are my personal favorites: (The titles lead to links of the songs)
Just Wanna Know - Yamazaki Sousuke (FREE!)
While Ashita e no Last Race was the first Hosoyan song I heard and introduced me to Hosoyan, I give Just Wanna Know the credit for being the root of everything. It was a first time for me to have only one song played on repeat for the whole day. That’s how much I loved it. That’s how much I love his voice. And the lyrics were a good bonus because I was able to understand Sousuke’s character better. I really, highly recommend this song.
Kimi, Mai Oriru - Uduki Arata (Tsukiuta)
This is one of the songs that I loved just by hearing the first line for the first time. Like, Oh my gosh? Does anyone still have doubts about Hosoyan’s singing voice? Even after a long time of knowing this song, hearing the first line just feels like the first time again. And I get reminded of the blessing called Hosoyan’s voice. This is the song I want to sing to Hosoyan if ever I meet him face to face. I actually watched the anime because of this song.
Maverick - Kira Rintarou (Kenka Banchou Otome)
Again, one of those songs I get to love from the first line. As soon as the instrumental intro starts, the song is releasing such happy vibes and ofc Hosoyan’s voice soon delivers that. Again, I am currently supporting the anime because of this.
Angel Lost - Tengenji Kakeru (Starmyu)
It took me some time before knowing that this song actually has a full version - meaning I fell in love with just the 30-second clip from the anime I chanced upon on Youtube. This actually led me to watching the whole anime series. Oh Tavian
Boku ni Totte - Knife of Day (Digimon Adventure Tri)
This sounds a bit different from the aforementioned as this seems to be a band song and Hosoyan commendably pulls it off, of course. And ofc, the last line *wink wink*
Sekai o Teki ni Mawashitemo - Seiya Moroboshi (I Doll U)
I swear, even if the world becomes my enemy, I’ll never get tired of saying that Hosoyan’s voice is really one of the best.
Song For You - Shiraishi Kuranosuke (The Prince of Tennis)
This is my all-time favorite Hosoyan song, no, let me rephrase that. This is my favorite song of all time. The most played song on my playlist, the one on repeat during the nights I can’t sleep, the one that can calm me down when I’m irritated, the song I sought after whether I’m feeling happy or sad. I don’t know why, I really don’t know why out of all of Hosoyan’s songs, Song For You takes this spot in my heart. It feels like it’s digging me inside, healing my soul. Important note: While the link leads to the song’s album version, the better and the best version is the live version, which is what I have on my playlist. It was the live version that made me love this song to this extent so please, please, listen to the live version which is on the following link at 47:40:
Shiraishi Kuranosuke Live
It is said that Shiraishi paved the way for Hosoyan’s name to be known in the business. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to watch Tenipuri as a child and it’s hard for me to keep up now, but I am aware of how big this franchise is. And also, this special live event is an enough indication of how big Shiraishi is. Shiraishi is not the main character, he’s not even in the protagonist’s team but he, of all the characters, held his own live in Fukuoka, Osaka, and Tokyo. I am totally jealous of the people who were able to come to this live. This is 2 hours of Hosoyan singing live. I cried just by watching it on the screen, what more if I were there? I am just so proud of this precious child.
Personal favorites from Shiraishi’s live: Song for You (duh ofc), Get Started, Go on, Prayer, Bible, Ashiato, Speed Star, Like Bored Days, No Muda Life, ok let me stop now before I include everything in the list
I’ve never heard Hosoyan sing live, and I don’t know if I will ever have that opportunity because unlike other seiyuus, he is technically not a singer who host live concerts. And even seiyuu events rarely have a singing segment or some sort. But based from some clips and that Shiraishi live I have watched and heard, I do believe that Hosoyan sounds better live. I don’t want the softwares doing some editing stuff on his voice; I want it raw and natural together with the flats or whatever flaws he does.
Bonus:
Kagirinaku Toumei ni Chikai Kuro - Giran & Yurian (Black Wolves Saga)
Ultimate dream duet Taniyama Kishou and Hosoya Yoshimasa!!!! I literally screamed when I found out that such a song exists! I’ve heard Kiiyan and Mamo sing duet a few times but it just seems that their voices do not blend that well together, maybe because of too much beauty and power? But with Hosoyan, even a duet with Kiiyan is something he can do well and results to a good song.
Here We Go! - Hyuuga Junpei & Kiyoshi Teppei (Kuroko no Basuke)
Hosoyan can rap! OMG with that voice, with that personality lolol, he can rap! I’m really so proud of youuuu!!
Rebellion Star - Trickstar (Ensemble Stars)
Again, I fell in love from the first line. This is a group song and again, it has been decided that I will be watching this anime and Hokuto will be my bias. But wait Hokuto’s seiyuu was replaced in the game, what will happen to the anime huhuhu
This YT AV edit is such a blessing: Yoshimasa Hosoya - Song Compilation Roles
Hosoyan is currently taking a rest from work due to medical problems. As much as it hurts me that I won’t be hearing him for the next one or two anime seasons, I am praying for his good health more than anything else. Oh my, this guy has been working too much. I understand that he needs this time very much, so please do come back when you have fully rested. Continue doing what you love - be it acting, singing, or anything - we’ll always be here to support you. *hugs*
For similar original features, metas, headcanons, translations, edits, you may follow me or track the #my works tag on my blog.
#hosoya yoshimasa#細谷佳正#seiyuu#声優#my original content#my works#yamazaki sousuke#free!#uduki arata#tsukiuta#kira rintarou#kenka banchou otome#tengenji kakeru#starmyu#high school star musical#knife of day#yamato ishida#digimon#seiya moroboshi#i doll u#shiraishi kuranosuke#prince of tennis#black wolves saga#hyuuga junpei#kuroko no basuke#trickstar#ensemble stars#hidaka hokuto#taniyama kishou#miyano mamoru
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Im glad that u also like archer. Ive been rewatching it (im on s2) and i feel guilty as a feminist for liking it so much :( i know a lot of the jokes are supposed to be ironic but i still feel bad for laughing, and my bf has made comments abt "how can u laugh at that as a feminist" (he isnt one, hes using it as a gotcha). How do u feel about this? Any advice for separating myself from toxic fandom to just be able to enjoy something problematic? Love ur blog btw happy friday 💋💋
Thanks, and don’t worry, anon: You’re not a bad feminist.
It’s funny you ask this, but I used to have an entire essay series on this exact topic, and on Archer, particularly!
My philosophy is: don’t ignore the problematic, examine it. Use it as a springboard for analysis so you can learn more about the issue conveyed. Use your problematic responsibly! Because, let’s be honest, there ARE no unproblematic pieces of media. So just use it to educate yourself instead. For instance: my love of West Side Story (starring Natalie Wood as the Puerto Rican Maria) got me to learn more about the issues of white-washing.
Being a feminist is not about being perfect, it’s about learning and being open to examination and learning. Use your fandom for good!
Laughter is the balm for the soul. And listening to your boyfriend telling you how to be a feminist… less so. Kind of the opposite.
My old articles are lost, for the most part, but under the cut, I’ve pasted them for reference and included a great video on satire that also very easily applies to this discussion (just substitute feminism with the Holocaust)
Our Faves Are Problematic (And So Can You!)
Nothing and no one is perfect, so isnt it about time we learn how to call out the things we love?
We are all familiar with guilty pleasures: those things we like in spite of ourselves, that we are ashamed to admit we enjoy. Usually the term is applied to something we enjoy despite a perceived “lameness”, or because we’re not the right demographic for something. For instance, I still have a deep, abiding affection for Sailor Moon: that colorful, stock-footage-laced Japanese phenomenon that still gets me shouting “MOON PRISM POWER!” when I’m in the right mood. Yes, childhood is over, and yes, the show’s American dub did give me incest panic as a child, but I can’t help but love it.
But then there is the more difficult brand of guilty pleasures guilty pleasures that involve actual guilt instead of “mild embarrassment”. I’m talking about problematic faves the stuff that we love despite it containing clearly objectionable material.
willing18
(Image copyright Vertigo Comics)
…This is a panel from Bill Willingham’s Fables. The character there is Bigby Wolf, one of the main (anti) heroes of the story and the character the writer identifies with most. The person Bigby is waxing poetically on pro-Zionism to is someone literally called “The Adversary”.
Fables also happens to be one of my favorite comic book series on the planet.
Safe to say the issues surrounding Israel, Palestine, and the Middle East are a bit more complicated than that. And my own feelings on the matter are far more complicated. But this glorification of Israeli military policy is… um… in very tame terms… uncomfortable. After reading this, I resolved to only check Fables out of the library: a way for me to enjoy these comics in a legal way without financially supporting these ideas, however indirectly.
There are other problems with Fables: a lack of ethnic diversity, some murky racial and class commentary, and instances of some objectionable tropes, but there is a lot to recommend of these books as well. The stories are fantastic, the art brilliant, the characters well-fleshed out, and there is a definite progressive take on issues like gender and sexuality. But as much as I love this series, there is no getting around the fact that these stories have issues.
No excuses.
But it’s not just Fables that has disappointed me in the past. I am now and forever a Trekker, yet despite how horribly sexist episodes like “The Turnabout Intruder” are, or the very troubling anti-Semitic coding of the Ferengi. The Star Wars prequels famously had racist caricatures with the Trade Federation and the infamous Jar Jar Binks.
In the world of media, there’s no shortage of problematic content. From the novels of Robert Heinlein containing pro-fascist commentary, to HBO’s Game of Thrones misogynistic adaptation decisions, there’s nothing that is quite free of some messed up messages, subtle and blatant alike.
Now, when we talk about such media, we don’t merely mean triggering factors (i.e. the presentation, portrayal, or discussion of potentially traumatizing issues like domestic abuse, racism, hate crimes, substance abuse, or sexual assault), but rather how these matters are portrayed. A piece of media, such as Marvel and Netflix’s excellent Jessica Jones series, can portray certain issues (such as sexual assault, domestic violence, and mental illness) in a respectful, progressive, and sensitive light. Thus, while the content of the show can be triggering, the skill with which they portray these matters keeps it from being problematic.
In contrast, something like Game of Thrones, which portrays sexual assault in a thoroughly insensitive, exploitative, and misogynistic manner, is highly problematic.
Unfortunately, progress has been a slow-moving process, with many issues such as race, gender, sexual identity, mental illness, substance abuse, and violence only being examined in a more nuanced way fairly recently. As a result, almost all media is problematic in one way or another. Especially since even today, the majority of executives crafting, publishing, and greenlighting books, shows, comics, movies, and other forms of media are in fact cisgendered, heterosexual white men.
So what do we do?
Good news: here at Fandom Following, we don’t believe in dropping something you like just because it’s problematic. Why?
Because knowing, examining, and yes, even appreciating problematic content can be incredibly important. While certain content can be damaging, it can also teach us a great deal. Not only about current issues, but also about how to go about discussing these matters, and constructing narratives in general.
The racial issues in things like Star Wars and Star Trek can teach us much about how coding works, and how to avoid reinforcing stereotypes. The exploitation of women and rape on Game of Thrones can open up a dialogue of how to portray these things properly and improperly.
There are three tricks to enjoying problematic media: 1) Recognizing that there is an issue, 2) Being ready for a dialogue, and 3) Not ignoring or silencing the complaints about said issues.
Well, we here at Fandom Following have decided to tackle this issue head on with a series called “Our Faves Are Problematic (And So Can You!)”, where we will be exploring specific media franchises, creators, and works and, specifically, the problematic content they contain. In this series, we’ll be examining the issues, talking about why they’re important, discussing what this piece of media did wrong, how to approach the issue in a more progressive way, and the best ways to go about discussing the issue itself. Various writers will be contributing to this project, and we’re excited to present this feature to you!
So let’s get down and dirty, people. We all have our problematic faves. Let’s talk about them.
My Face is Problematic: Archer
Honestly, doing a post like this on Archer, a show which is deliberate in its dark humor, is a bit hard for me. Not because I like the show, but because I think there’s true validity in the argument that humor and narratives about really messed up, problematic stuff has its place. The show exists to be as outlandish and absurd as possible. The extremes and the awfulness of the characters’ personalities and their actions is the point.
I VUZ BORN IN DUSSELDORF AND THAT IS VY THEY CALL ME ROLF!
Joking about awful things, awful circumstances, and awful people is hardly new ground for comedy to cover, nor does it send a poor message, necessarily. Mel Brooks wrote a movie in which one of the characters was a Nazi, who wrote an overblown pro-Nazi musical produced by men deliberately trying to make a flop. Springtime For Hitler, as it exists in our universe, is not problematic. The Nazis are the butt of the joke, in which any pro-Nazi sentiment can only function if it is wildly fabricated and over-the-top, and even then, it will still be taken for satire. Because Nazis are utterly terrible, they built their movement on total bullshit that they dressed up in shiny boots and Hugo Boss uniforms and German exceptionalism and “glory”. This song-and-dance number about “Don’t be stupid, be a smartie, come and join the Nazi party” only ever deserves to be a joke, as the Jew who wrote it can tell you. Nazis fucking suck and it’s hilarious that anyone would ever suggest otherwise.
There’s justice in reducing Nazis to self-parody, and doubling down on that by making a joke about them being reduced to self-parody. Especially when said self-parody and depiction of it is crafted by the very people Hitler tried to destroy. No one enjoys or masters mocking Nazis like the Jews. Plain and simple.
Joking about awful things and how terrible they are can be a good way to process things and not allow them to hurt you anymore. Comedy, at its core, is a defense mechanism against horror and pain. There’s a reason slapstick is a classic subgenre of comedy that people have built entire careers around. Laugh at terror and pain to make it go away. Unfortunately, some of the things we manage to find humor in can really make you wonder if were all just terrible and have no limits.
Angela’s Ashes is a memoir by Frank McCourt about his impoverished, abusive, dangerous childhood in Ireland. In it, he chronicles his own starvation, life-threatening illness, abuse, and suffering at the hands of alcoholism and brutality from adult authority figures. He was a child laborer who went days without food while his father drank away the family’s money and abused the rest of the family, who often came down with horrifying illnesses as a result of the terrible conditions he lived in, and spent his formative years suffering along with all the people he loved. Three of his infant siblings die within the space of a chapter. We get a glimpse of the time when his father, overjoyed at the birth of his daughter, finds the will to stop drinking, stop mistreating his family, go to work, provide for his family, and just generally be a better person so that his children don’t have to suffer. For a short period, the McCourts have food, heat, and happiness. Then the baby promptly dies and Frank’s father is back in the pubs, once again squandering any pay he manages to acquire on alcohol and returning home at three am to scream at and beat his wife while his remaining children try to cover their ears and sleep on the cold ground.
Along with being praised for it being a both an unflinchingly brutal depiction of poverty and a testament to the triumph of the human spirit, the book is also praised for its humor.
Remember: Angela’s Ashes is a true story written by the very man who suffered through all of these horrible things. And it’s considered a pretty funny book. And the author who, once again, is the person who actually suffered all of these horrible things, actually did intentionally try to make people laugh as they read about that time he was in the hospital with Typhoid Fever and enjoyed it because it was the first time he’d been in a place where he was fed regularly and got to sleep in a warm bed.
Hilarious.
That being said, there’s satire and dark humor, and there’s just gratuitous, shock-jock bullshit. There are jokes that are terrible simply because of what they’re about and how they’re handled. George Carlin said that anything can be made funny, even rape, if you imagine Elmer Fudd raping Porky Pig.
If we can build entire films and musicals about how any pro-Hitler sentiment can only ever be taken as satire, isn’t that proof that you can joke about anything?
Yes, you can, but that doesn’t mean you should try, that the joke is funny, or that it’s alright, necessarily. Maybe Elmer Fudd, Porky Pig, and Springtime for Hitler prove that anything can be made funny and that’s okay. But if that’s true (and no, I’m not saying that it is), that still doesn’t mean every attempt at making something funny is either acceptable or funny.
Springtime for Hitler is not a get-out-of-jail-free card for any attempt to make a terrible subject the object of humor. Standards need to exist.
Unfortunately, the line between good or acceptable dark humor and simply gratuitous, insensitive, inherently problematic jokes can blur. The excuse of humor can only go so far. Yes, make light of Nazis. But there’s still a point where “humor” is used an excuse for people to act like assholes. And it’s an excuse that is used all too often. Radio Shock Jocks have been using that excuse to help reinforce racism and rape culture for quite a while. Whether certain dudebros like it or not, there’s a point where it stops being gross-out and just starts being gross.
Which brings me to Archer, the animated spy comedy on FX that premiered in 2011. Like many comedy series like Seinfeld or It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, a major part of the premise is that certain characters are, quite simply, terrible people. These characters and their abhorrent behavior is the joke. And, as the show is about spies, these terrible people are often put into highly dangerous, outlandish, and traumatizing situations.
So, the main characters, by virtue of their profession, spend a lot of time killing people in cold blood. Or trying to seduce or manipulate enemies. Or engaging in clandestine operations of sabotage that harm a lot of people. Horrible, violent things are going to happen, things violent enough to serve as narratives on their own. But most of the characters are as awful as the situations they encounter, so the horror is amplified. And it’s a comedy.
Indeed, in the first episode of the fifth season, we get the whole main ensemble recounting all of their actions and experiences working for the spy agency ISIS that we’d witnessed over the course of the show’s run at that point. Drag racing with the Yakuza, knee-capping the Irish mob, encountering human traffickers, 30 year affairs with the head of the KGB that only ended when the guy was blown up because one of the ISIS members had choke sex with the victim’s cyborg replacement, actual piracy, paying homeless people to fight for spectators, defling a corpse, defiling a different corpse, sexual assault, kidnapping the pope, blowing up oil pipelines, “smuggling Mexicans”
Yeah.
There are comedic arcs about cancer, illegal immigration, kinky S&M bondage murders, cocaine addiction… a lot of stuff, basically.
Now, take those situations, and add in characters who get aroused by things like homeless people, being choked, sex with food, and the thought of their mother dying. Who spend their weekends starting fires, making hybrid pig-people, rubbing sand into the eyes of their employees, competing in underground Chinese Fighting Fish tournaments, and calling in bomb threats so that they can get a table at a fancy restaurant. You get the idea.
And it’s all totally awesome and hilarious and god damn it I kind of love these characters.
This show has a season-long sub-arc about one of the main characters getting so aggressively addicted to cocaine that she not only consumes (literally) half a ton of it in the space of a few months, but almost gets her head chopped off for buying amphetamines from the Yakuza with counterfeit money. It’s one of the most incredible things the show has done.
Pictured: An absurdly self-centered man feeling genuine dismay and concern over his friend risking her life to achieve an unrealistic standard of beauty.
The title character has a butler named Woodhouse who practically raised him. One of the first interactions we witness between them is Archer not only threatening to rub sand into Woodhouse’s “dead little eyes”, but making him go out and buy the sand himself and check if they grade it, because he wants the sand to be coarse. He’s also done things like make the man eat a bowl of spiderwebs and deliberately keep him in the dark about his brother’s death and funeral.
Another character is a mad scientist and possible clone of Adolf Hitler who kills a young intern by giving him a drug designed to turn him gay. That’s one of the less disturbing things Dr. Krieger has done.
Frequent gags on this show include one guy repeatedly getting shot, another character repeatedly getting paralyzed (it’s complicated), people trying to remember the inappropriate puns that they wanted say as one-liners, the horrific abuse and neglect Sterling Archer has received from his mother his entire life, and basically everyone being a sex-maniac.
There are plots revolving around mind-control, drugging people, and hypnotism. You can imagine the paths some of those episodes go down. Yes, there is a character that has tried to sexually assault one of her sleeping co-workers. And later deposited two unconscious, naked coworkers in a bathroom stall with an octopus, in an episode that has already made tentacle hentai jokes. Yes, the openly gay character on the show is often the target of jokes about him being gay or a woman from his coworkers. Yes, the female lead, a black woman, is referred to as a “quadroon” at one point by one of the characters.
Yes, the following exchange of dialogue does take place in an early episode:
“Oh my god, you killed a hooker!”
“Call-girl!”
“No, Cyril, when they’re dead, they’re just hookers!”
And yet… Oh my god. How it manages to play around with stuff in an amazing fashion. For one thing, it is amazing how often this show skewers micro-aggressions and fucks around with stereotypes. And, despite how unabashedly messed up it is, the writing in it actually manages to be oddly pro-social progress in ways that most modern media doesn’t even seem to be aware of.
I take pride in my sex work and I will not put up with your bullshit!
For instance the “hooker” referred to in that exchange? (spoiler alert: she wasn’t really dead) She’s Trinette, and she an unbelievably refreshing and strangely progressive depiction of a sex worker. While she’s a minor character, every time she shows up, it’s awesome. Trinette is a sex worker who is unashamed of her job, a woman who truly does take pride in and enjoy her work, who does not put up with poor behavior from her clients, and is just generally awesome. She call people out and makes them pay for any mistreatment she receives, from calling out micro-aggressions by insisting on her preferred terminology for her profession (“Call-girl, you puke!”), shaming men for their sexual misdeeds (“How can you cheat on Lana bare-back?!”), demanding restitution for any injuries or threats she’s suffered (Threatening Archer into giving her his car after he fakes her death and stuffs her in a rug to fool Cyril into thinking he killed her), and determining her work and clients (“What about Trinette? She said that? Damn it!”). When she has a baby, she gives it her last name along with his father’s (“Magoon-Archer”) and she unapologetically proud of her Irish heritage. She’s easily one of the most functional characters in the show, and every one of her appearances on the show manage to defy at least one whore-phobic trope a minute. She’s the best.
Then there’s the show’s handling of race, which is mixed. While arguably the most important female character in the series (the show, despite its name, is very, very much an ensemble, especially as the series progresses. But in the early episodes when they focussed on fewer characters, she was the one who got the most screentime) is Lana Kane, a highly-competent (for ISIS) African American woman who is really, really well-developed, there is also the fact that she’s the only POC in the main cast. Granted, part of that IS the point. One of the earliest episodes is “Diversity Hire”, where, aside from Lana, the spy agency is so overwhelmingly white that they hire a “diversity double-whammy!” Conway Stern, a black Jew.
“Sammy Gay-vis Junior!”
Now, granted, that doesn’t sound great the way I describe it, but there are so many great moments in this episode alone. For instance, when Mallory Archer, terrible woman and owner of the spy agency mentions their lack of diversity, Cyril, the tragically white accountant and “nice guy” puts his hands on Lana’s shoulder and says he thinks they’re pretty diverse, a statement Lana finds hilarious. Cue Sterling Archer, other horrible person, telling Lana she’s “black-ish”, then responding to her offense at this with “Well, you freaked out when I said quadroon!”. The framing of this entire discourse is that Cyril and Archer are fucking idiots and Lana is of course taking offense because, duh, she should. The episode proceeds with a lot of references and discussion about racism, highlighting casual racism in a nuanced, funny, and organic way. For instance, Archer’s relief that Conway didn’t sleep with his mother. While Archer freaks out about anyone sleeping with his mother, regardless of race, Conway believes it’s racism on Archer’s fault. And in no way does the narrative act like he’s overly-sensitive or irrational for thinking that. Because the stereotype about black men seducing white women and fear from white men about this is still a very real, pervasive thing that has somehow managed to survive in our “enlightened” times. Of course Conway encountering a guy who displays a downright violent fixation on whether or not his new black coworker is sleeping with his mother will assume it’s a race thing. Because why would anyone be so preoccupied with such an idea? In that situation, it’s almost certainly based on the long-standing paranoia white men have about black men’s sexuality “conquering their women.” It’s one of the most common varieties of anti-blackness in existence.
Of course, since it’s Archer, who has kidnapped a LOT of people under the suspicion that they were having sex with his mom, we know this is the one case that it isn’t racism. It’s Archer’s disturbing, Oedipal relationship with his mother. He even kidnapped and threatened his role model, Burt Reynolds, for dating his mother. When he says “Not in a racist way” to Conway in this episode, it’s actually true. He’s just honestly that screwed up where his mother is concerned.
Conway’s conclusions on this, regardless, are still framed as a totally understandable. To the point where the episodes suggests that it would make no sense for Conway to think otherwise. Part of the joke is that no, Archer isn’t a horrible racist at all. He’s way too screwed up for his actions to be motivated by racism.
And before anyone asks, no, this wasn’t the “episode that acknowledges that racism is a thing.” You know the ones… The episodes that talk about race and why racism is bad to prove to the audience that they’re not racist, then proceed with the rest of the show, which never acknowledges race and racism again. There are frequent instances of highlighting racism, from violent outright bigotry to common micro-aggressions to clueless white people demanding how the thing they just did/said could POSSIBLY be considered racist! They’re not racist! How is THAT racist?! Cue Lana face-palming.
I just really, really like this. It doesn’t just end there, either. Racism is called out pretty frequently on this show, and not in a cliche, strawman way. Nor is it treated like something that only exists in the form of aggressively bigoted bad people shouting slurs and holding cross burnings. Nope. The “heroes” of this show just say shit that you could easily imagine someone saying in real life, shortly before getting defensive about any racism on their part. It’s treated as a common, pervasive thing that Lana and other PoC have to deal with every day, and the offense they take at it is treated as nothing short of sympathetic or justified (even in the cases of misunderstandings, like with Conway). This includes Mallory telling Lana to “put [the race card] back in the deck!” as reminder of how much of an unapologetic douche Mallory is.
It’s made clear: people say and do some super racist shit on a regular basis with realizing it or meaning to, and regardless, it’s still uncool and people have every right to get upset and call you out on it. See: Ray’s bionic hand at the end of season six.
Lana’s reactions and how they’re framed is usually pretty awesome. Mostly they come in the form of small, reasonable confrontations, which are never framed as an overreaction on her part. The fact that she “freaked out” when Archer called her a quadroon is framed as “well, duh, of course, she should.” Then there are instances like when she, Archer, and their child visit a high-end nursery school where they encounter a pretty obvious racist. The guy ignores and dismisses Lana at first, then expresses surprise at the fact that she’s the mother of the child (despite the baby being black), remarking about the “times we live in” and telling Lana “good for you!” when she informs him that yes, she is the mother, not the nanny or the maid.
Not all of the racism stuff stems from Lana being back, either. They skewer bigotry against Latinos on a pretty regular basis. When an Irish mobster rants about Latinos (he doesn’t refer to them by that name) “taking American jobs!”, Archer immediately calls bullshit, recalling actual history of the Irish being accused of that exact same thing during the mass immigration of the Irish to America during the potato famine, and it’s just as shitty and bigoted to say such things about immigrants now as it was in 1842. He is extremely irate about a mission ISIS is assigned to do on behalf of border patrol to arrest people who just want to get a job, and he ends up siding with and befriending the Mexican illegal immigrants he encounters. All of this while aspects of certain Latinx cultures are often highlighted, often very favorably (“Ramone is Latino, so he’s not afraid to express affection.”)
That being said, there are still a lot of issues in the show. The lack of diversity is definitely an albatross around this show’s neck. Especially so many seasons after the “Diversity Hire” episode. While I do praise Archer for not treating racism as a thing that is rare and only needs to be addressed in one twenty-minute block of time, it is telling that the lack of diversity at ISIS is never addressed again.
Then there’s the approach to sexuality. The show loves gross-out sex humor, especially regarding Krieger. And the depiction of sexuality is actually pretty mixed. On one hand, the openly gay character in the show adheres to a lot of stereotypes about gay men: he mocks Lana about her “knock-off Fiacci drawers”, his go-to alias is “Carl Channing”, his free time is spent at raves, and he loves to make effeminate poses. He’s also a frequent target of homophobic jokes and remarks. His outrage at this is treated as being every bit as valid as Lana’s, but it doesn’t change the fact that their main gay character is basically ALL of the stereotypes, as are a number of the other gay characters.
“Alright! Were off to get our scrotums waxed!”
Then there is the sexual assault. Which, once again, is called out for being what it is, in defiance of many common biases (such as the idea that female-on-male sexual assault isn’t a thing). But this show is way too flippant about this.
While I consider Archer to be very sex-positive, allowing every character, regardless of sex, age, or orientation, to be comfortable and expressive about their sexuality without judgment (a lot of jokes, yes, but not any that come off as particularly shaming). Almost every character, male or female spends a fair amount of time naked or scantily clad. We see Archer stripped down just as often as Lana. And the fan service isn’t relegated to just women who adhere to the typical youth and weight obsessed eurocentric standards we all know and hate.
Pam, who is a big woman (and often the target of fat jokes, which the show always treats as nothing short of detestable) is a total sex goddess who grows to be utterly confident in herself as a woman to the point where she’s giving Mallory (one of the most desired women on the show) advice. When she reveals that she keep ingesting cocaine because it’s made her thin with big boobs, Archer is utterly dismayed, telling her she was way better off the way she was, acting horrified that she’d risk her life to be “hot”, and just generally freaking out about Pam’s desire to be thin. It manages to avoid being cliche or empty given that Archer considered Pam the best sex he ever had before she got thin, to the point of blowing off assignments just to have sex with her, because she’s just that awesome. After she gains the weight back in season six, she’s still sexy, making Archer’s jaw drop in the episode “Edie’s Wedding.” She’s also unapologetically pansexual, which is awesome.
Mallory, meanwhile, is still actively sexual and treated as desirable. While sex and sexuality are always sources of gags and jokes on Archer, never do the jokes about Mallory’s sexuality ever come across as ageist. Sure, some characters make ageist comments on the show, but it’s never treated as valid. Mallory is still treated as being extremely sexy and confident about it. While Mallory is generally a horrible person, her enthusiastic sexual agency is never once treated as a flaw or something disturbing or gross. What’s disturbing, gross, and worthy of ridicule is her son being so preoccupied and reactionary about his mother having a sex life. It’s clear: if you have a problem with Mallory having a lot of sex and enjoying it, you’re the one with issues.
Even the one young, thin, white woman in the main cast gets to be unapologetic about her kinks. It’s really only a problem when her desire for choke-sex motivates her to lead a KGB cyborg to the ISIS safehouse. Or when she coerces Cyril into sex. And generally acts like a violent, awful person.
Essentially, there’s no tolerance for shaming women for being sexual. All of it, regardless of preference, age, size, or race, is nothing but fun and should be enthusiastically represented. “Can’t talk, got a pussy to break!”
Being a predator is shameful. Having belly rolls is not.
Who on Earth finds this funny?
But, then there’s the flippancy about sexual assault. There ARE gags about Pam and Ray dropping their pants when encountering an unconscious Cyril. And sorry, but the framing of it is all manner of screwed up. There’s tons of sexual coersion as well. Another one of the most problematic instances comes in an episode of season two, where Archer is repeatedly sexually assaulted by a sixteen-year-old German socialite. The show goes out of its way to make it clear that Archer explicitly refuses consent, that he’s being violated, yet the show treats this as funny.
While I get that this is a comedy show and that in-depth exploration of the trauma of sexual abuse isn’t going to be something they can spend a lot of time on, the option they should have gone with is, you know, not base an episode around a german schoolgirl raping the main character. It’s not funny, guys. It’s not necessary. It’s actually just uncomfortable and off-putting.
The show mentions things like alternative gender identities, emotional triggers, and sexual exploration in ways that treat these things as totally valid, which is good. It also frequently portrays poor people as jokes in and of themselves, which is a lot less good. While materialism is lampooned frequently, it’s not treated as a joke in and of itself the way poverty is.
The way the show often portray legitimate abuse for laughs also often goes overboard. While the show does a good job of exploring and following through on all the ways Mallory’s abuse screwed up Archer, there’s a point where the volume of “abuse humor” gets to just be downright gross. Dark humor is one thing, not being able to go an episode without a “Haha, ten-year-old archer was abandoned in a train station at Christmas!” joke is, uh… Not great.
Archer is an awesome, immensely watchable show. But it’s not one I always feel clean watching. It’s a show that celebrates extremes, yes, but there’s a point where certain lines are crossed and it’s just problematic rather than gallows humor.
Archer is one of those series that really makes me struggle to distinguish the gallows humor from the simple tastelessness. To give pause to the idea of problematic content being the “point.”
The line blurs with Archer. A lot. It often manages to distinguish itself with the things it gets right, especially since they often do well on things that most shows, movies, and books are often terrible at. And that’s enough to buy it some goodwill for when they screw up.
But seriously, guys, please stop treating sexual coercion and child abuse as bottomless gag wells. I would have really preferred to have Pam and her awesome sexuality without her sexually assaulting Cyril and Ray. It’s not funny or clever or edgy. It’s just gross.
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TOP 5 Games of 2018
5. Octopath Traveler
Despite all of its shortcomings and lack of depth, I was entranced by this jewel. I wrote a full review here.
4. Spider-Man
Another one that took a lot of my time this year -- to the point where I platinumed it. But I haven’t returned for any DLC. I wrote a full review of this one as well, and it touches on why I probably won’t be back to web-slinging until a proper sequel.
3. Red Dead Redemption II
I still haven’t finished RDR II, but it really is the most polished game I’ve played all year. And maybe it’s unfair to judge this game before I’m done with it, but that’s part of why it’s both so high and so low on my list. The previous game sank claws into me that I couldn’t escape for the better part of a year. This game wants to be more cinematic. Rockstar wants to push the art in the art form, and while that’s admirable and we should have A-list games striving for the very best the medium can produce, it also seems to have come in the progression of gameplay. I’m in the absolute minority on this so I won’t say much on it -- at least not until I’ve completed the main story. And the game still plays well. Quite well. But I dunno. The last game was still a game. This sometimes feels like the most boring parts of a film.
2. Super Smash Bros. Ultimate
I don't know if I need to recalculate my score for Smash Wii U after this, because for all intents and purposes, Ultimate IS the better game. It's like the Mario Kart 8 of the franchise: refined to the point where improvement is impossible. The roster is madness, the single-player modes are grindy but better, and it feels like there's nowhere left to go. But I'm sort of okay with that. I'm ready for this franchise to retire. And maybe my score reflects that more than anything.
1. Into the Breach
Into the Breach is deceptively crystal in its presentation and gameplay. Every possibility, option, and strategy is communicated to the player at all times, and failure to exercise the best method is always your own fault. The amount of abuse I allowed this game to inflict on me is lunacy, but I felt like I gained new knowledge and motivation with each failure, and if I started over then I could finally win. I am no battle chess player, but this sucker is so simply addictive.
Something different:
I’ve been making personal GOTY choices for a very long time now and I got curious about the stack of them -- what possible stats or preferences I could glean from seeing them all together. They’ll also fluctuate more commonly than my favorite films of the year because games are expensive, I often wait for them to go down in price to try them, and by then we’re in the next year and my list has already been made. So, I wanted to look back through my choices, make any appropriate changes if I’d played anything else since those lists had been made, and see what I’ve chosen. Here’s what I found:
1998: StarCraft 1999: Super Smash Bros. 2000: Paper Mario 2001: Super Smash Bros. Melee 2002: Super Mario Sunshine 2003: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic 2004: Halo 2 2005: Mario Kart DS 2006: Gears of War 2007: Halo 3 2008: Grand Theft Auto IV 2009: Batman: Arkham Asylum 2010: Red Dead Redemption 2011: Portal 2 2012: Journey 2013: Grand Theft Auto V 2014: Mario Kart 8 2015: Super Mario Maker 2016: ABZÛ 2017: Super Mario Odyssey 2018: Into the Breach
Obviously, some of these I reviewed in retrospect. I wasn’t makin’ GOTY lists way back in 1998, I can tell ya that much! No sir! What a lame hobby for a child! Ha ha!
Wins by exclusives: Nintendo - 8 Microsoft - 3 Sony - 1
Wins by franchise: Super Smash Bros. - 2 Mario Kart - 2 Halo - 2 Grand Theft Auto - 2
Wins by genre: Action - 4 Shooter - 4 Platformer - 4 (5 with Mario Maker) Strategy - 4 Racer - 2
I feel pretty well-rounded. More so than I used to consider my tastes to be, anyway.
Personal surprises: I thought I chose Nintendo far more often, but 8/20 isn’t too dominating. True enough, there was a near ten year gap where I barely played much Nintendo had to offer. The Wii U might have been a financial crater, but the Wii was a creative one, and even when Nintendo cracked it (Super Mario Galaxy), there were still better games on the market.
2001 is a funky year. I flip back and forth between Melee and Combat Evolved all the time, but I think I’m happy to leave it here. I can’t fathom how much time I spent on either of them. And speaking of time spent, that appears to be my number one criterium for determining what’s worthy for top spot. Other things can factor in when it’s close (this year, for example, I had spent far more time on Octopath and Spider-Man, but neither of them had moved me to sit down and play them like Breach -- they felt more like personal obligations I’d given myself). But it’s a fair, I think: my strongest memories of games are going to become stronger with more game time. The only reason I stopped playing Halo 2 (at 2800 matches) was because Halo 3 released, and I left that game at almost 2950 matches. Compare that to Reach, which struggled to reach 1000, or even the MCC (914), and there’s an argument for playtime = GOTY. Also, we’re not gonna talk about the INSANE stat my Xbox says about my Halo Wars 2 playtime: 233 hours. What a load! Ha ha!
My affection for Nintendo is no surprise, and neither is my love of certain franchises, but I’m surprised to see the pattern shaken up with regularity. I’ll be shocked if my GOTY for this year isn’t Mario Maker’s sequel, and thus the Nintendo/franchise love will continue, but you never know. Little gems like Journey, ABZÛ, and Breach keep popping up these days. I know my tastes are very mainstream, but I love to be surprised by excellent indie ventures. I consider Journey to be the best game of the previous generation, so we’ll see how my tastes continue.
#GOTY 2018#GOTY#spiderman ps4#red dead redemption 2#smash bros ultimate#octopath traveler#into the breach
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Ultra Street Fighter II: The Final Challengers
At least this time you can actually take it to the streets
By: Chris Saturn
Developer: Capcom Publisher: Capcom Platform: Switch As a child, one of my least favorite aspects of my early school days was repetition. This is an ‘A.’ Write out an ‘A.’ Now write it out fourteen more times. Ugh. Surely we figured it out after the first one, right? Well, science shows they had a point. Repetition tends to make you better at things. It’s the ‘practice makes perfect’ concept in action. All of those wasted minutes practicing the perfect tail on the end of a lowercase ‘q’ made me an expert. Now I can write out whole words without having to stop and consult my glyph-chart. You probably see where I’m going here. Capcom’s made Street Fighter II a number of times now. Counting all of the revisions, enhanced editions, ports, rereleases, and collections, the number of Street Fighter titles is quickly approaching Graham’s Number. Naturally, they get better at it every time. I mean, so long as you buy the most recent release, you’d gain no benefit from the older releases, right? Well, no. There’s a reason I keep looking back to the late 90s when I want to play a 2D fighter. Sure, there’s been a renaissance of sorts in the last decade, with titles like Street Fighters IV and V, Marvel vs. Capcom 3, Skullgirls, etc. And, while I enjoy these games, there’s something missing. Today’s focus on tournament-level players has left behind a lot of the joy of classic fighters. There have always been people who took the games incredibly seriously, and could pull off combos that last longer than most of my actual matches. But, lined up at the arcades behind them were the rest of us. People who couldn’t clear the game on a single quarter, but still enjoyed trying to get a few rounds in.
Something tells me that Capcom sees this as an opportunity. How do you bring in those entry-level players again, and draw them into the franchise? Why, re-release the original, of course! Well, not quite original. As we’ve mentioned before, Street Fighter II has a bit of a history to it. Ultra Street Fighter II, Capcom’s most recent take on the game, is based incredibly heavily on Super Street Fighter II Turbo, the 1994 re-re-re-reiteration of the 1991 original version of Street Fighter II. Throughout the early 90s, each release of Street Fighter saw something new that made it worth playing. New moves, new modes, new characters. It was all about new. Then, as Street Fighter Alpha and Street Fighter III took over the new, Street Fighter II stagnated. Super Street Fighter II Turbo was allowed to live in stasis as the pinnacle of Street Fighter II-ness. Ports and enhanced remakes have come and gone in the years since, but Super Street Fighter II Turbo stands as the standard bearer of the sub-franchise. Now, 23 years later, we have another Street Fighter II with another derivative name. Obviously, this one will just build on the others, right? Unfortunately not. We have two new characters in Evil Ryu and Violent Ken, but they feel empty. Ryu, Ken, and Akuma already feel incredibly similar in the original SFII engine, mixing them together doesn’t exactly create originality, but at least there was an attempt. Where the game really slips is in keeping all of the qualities of its successors. Gone are Hyper Street Fighter II’s ability to select a fighting style, and the new stages of Super Street Fighter II Turbo Revival. Once again, we’re exclusively looking back to Super Street Fighter II Turbo for inspiration, ignoring any games released since. Correction: we’re not ignoring ALL of the games released since. Much of the art and sound of the new title come directly from 2008’s Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix. For those who don’t remember the HD Remix, it was a downloadable-only release marketed at tournament players who needed a version of Street Fighter II that wasn’t on aging or dying hardware. In fact, Ultra Street Fighter II looks so similar to the HD Remix that many people accused it of simply being the $10 downloadable Xbox 360 game rereleased for $40 on the Switch. Capcom wouldn’t do that, right?
Remember, not long ago, when Wonder Boy: The Dragon’s Trap was released on modern consoles? As a retro gamer, it was a love letter to my childhood. They kept the original game, the original graphics, the original sound, and gave it all a facelift that made it beautiful to look at and easy to play. I called it “retro done right.” I don’t want to say that Ultra Street Fighter II is the opposite of that. Unfortunately, I’m struggling for a nicer way to put it. I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve bought Street Fighter II over the last 26 years. I’ve already hit my quota on Graham’s Number jokes for this decade, so let’s just say it’s a lot. Despite the mediocre packaging and dull presentation, there’s a reason I keep buying it: nearly 30 years later, Street Fighter II is still a great game. Judging Street Fighter II on its merits is like judging Shakespeare. It’s been done, we already know that score. Today, the question isn’t ‘is Street Fighter II a good game,’ it’s ‘is this version of Street Fighter II worth me replacing my previous version?’ Do you already own a copy of Street Fighter II? If so, I’m hard pressed to recommend Ultra. Do you own a console other than a Switch? Again, I’m finding it difficult to recommend Ultra. Wii and Wii U owners can get perfectly playable Virtual Console versions of the game for under $10, PS3 and Xbox 360 owners can get the previous HD Remix (which, at the time of this writing, is on sale for only $2.50). PS2 and Xbox owners can get the previous Anniversary Collection which included Hyper Street Fighter II. There are so many versions of Street Fighter II out there that are perfectly functional, and Ultra just doesn’t bring enough to the table to justify its existence. Bottom line: if Capcom had released this as a $10 downloadable game, like they did on Xbox 360 and PS3, I’d recommend it in a heartbeat. As it is, I can only really recommend this for the people who live in Switch commercials, and bring their Switch consoles to impromptu rooftop parties. For the rest of us, it just makes more sense to stick with the version of the game you inevitably already have.
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