#u can talk to me about Anything ill probs get it

[candysharkart]

hi would u be willing to talk more ab ur belcher hcs that theyre all schizoaffective? :]

i can defs try! i cant promise i have really anything "smart" or insightful to say, cuz my husband and i just kinda draw from our own experiences :o

(if u are reading this and dont know what schizoaffective disorder is, im writing this w/ the definition of "a combination of schizophrenic symptoms and mood disorder symptoms like major depressive and bipolar disorder")

bob has felt the most schiz to us from the start, he's got his voices, which feel way more like he's acting as a mouthpiece for the objects he's talking to, rather than him just doing a bit. he knows its not "real" but also. it is to him. (i think hes also had some? hallucinations? but most are drug or stress induced and he also has a lot of cartoon dream sequences so...?) he struggles with paranoia and anxiety, and he's had pretty manic and depressive episodes in the show. i think he tries his best to stay grounded and self-aware with his delusions. he's very skeptical, and gets really irritated by misinformation. (probs also an affect of his autism tbh)

we also have a hc that he's more irritable and negative in the early seasons bc he's on meds that arent a good fit for him. (we dont really have meds hcs other than that. they might not be able to afford them)

linda's symptoms arent as obvious beyond her delusions like the raccoons and the cemetery stuff, but i think she's taught herself to suppress her issues so she could better support gayle who had more disruptive ones. her parents seem like the "stop being mentally ill its annoying" types. she has her own instances of paranoia and anxiety, but she mostly tries to smother and ignore anything negative she feels. VERY manic and impulsive tho. i think she also has some hallucinations in show but im drawing blanks on specifics.....

i would personally say tina is pretty depressive, but she's good at trying to cope in (mostly) healthy ways. her family is a good support system for her! she does have the most instances of visual hallucinations that arent cartoon bits (she seems to have them a lot when shes feeling guilty...) her anxiety and paranoia reminds me a lot of bob but also of gayle. they have similar outburts

gene has the least examples that i can think of.... i think he considers ken to be pretend and is just joking about him being real bc it annoys bob (compared to tina who thinks her horse Jericho is maybe...a little real) but i think he has some other hallucinations tht arent like that. hes surprisingly anti-social! he definitely often views himself as superior to the kids he knows. gets that from his dad lol. and his mania and impulsiveness are very much like linda :) he doesnt have depressive episodes as much as the others, but they hit him really hard :(

and louise! shes paranoid and has lots of aggression issues! to me she is also very depressed. (the puppet ep is esp relatable to me lol........) and she's VERY manic in the ambergris ep! i think she also has a couple instances of voices similar to bob's? but its kinda hard to tell the difference when shes still a kid who plays pretend with her toys. her talking to the taffy dummy feels more like what bob does tho.

i hope? thats the kind of hcs you were talking about? ive been trying to think of the right words for like 3 hours now. im very bad with words and so much of this stuff can also be attributed to other brain stuff, and one person can have a lot going on in one brain! so i hope i dont upset anyone with this post. thank u for ur time :)

[fappellmoan]

ok and now i need to talk this out on here cause like in all reality idc that much but this is just a little. awk. i might do this under the cut just so i can talk in a bunch of little paragraphs if thats chill ok ty

sooooo right ive mentioned that sam has been talking abt having beef specifically w his roommates but also that friend group at large bc they went on spring break trips w/o him. The roommate took a duo trip with fellow dyke and everyone else did like a big thing together erm

right thats just the context idrc except for the amount of times sams vaguely alluded to it and idk any other details. um but he has called his roommates like the 'poison pills' of the whole ordeal since they literally live together (but they havent been that close. prob since their freshman year when sam was out for a semester. which isnt inherently er bad but hes acting like hes been victimized for the last few years)

and like last night after this long sesh of working on our assignment sam and i r walking to the bus stop and he says something about finding out just like shitty awful drama and how it sucks having to live with 'two of those people' lmao sorry im not laughing im just like. whatever

this said i have plans to see. should i name sams roommate. ok i cant do that rn but we have plans to hang on monday and i would be seeing sam like immediately after for class. and esp if we're hanging out on campus like we might have a repeat of last time where sam spots us out and im not sure if he'd approach and hang this time. but hes obviously aware that me and them like chat

so it's like not so subtle that hes trying to get me to either ask abt the roommate or flat out not trust/see them anymore and i just havent engaged which might come across as "fake" but like. well ill be honest man theyre all a year younger than me and that doesnt mean much but it does feel very immature to handle things this way idk the whole story but im not gonna get roped into the like Omg i cant talk to this person bc of beef idk about...

and maybe i should feel worse abt not being #loyal to someone who is or at least at one point was considered a friend esp when it comes to someone that yeah ig he does know better than i but i dont... sorry ive been talking abt this bitch like cady and regina george except im not psychosexually obsessed im just like. hes been more insufferable than i remember lately yk.

i feel the Tiniest bit bad and like oh have i taken advantage of u bc yk we've hung and smoked and had dinner together often at ur place and def wormed my way into talking to the roommate via u etc but then i remember the way sam talks abt like anything and i dont feel all that bad

and theres this whole thing abt the eclipse i dont have plans to go see it it might happen last second but now after sams asked me abt it and messaged me like yeah idk we (him and his bestie) could maybe take a bus but we'd need a place to stay (asking to stay w my family bc i mentioned it like once on my close friends) and then theyre like going to a diff city anyway like oh my gooooood it's gonna be seen as shady and i dont really CARE i just need assurance that this is stupid as hell and its ok if im a little bit of an asshole about it. i dont think being mad abt the eclipse would hold up but w/e

has not been at the top of my worries and still isnt but now that this is all coming up in the next week im like frank g*llagher voice (sorry) oh Jesus Christ. you know

[eurydicejones]

i feel like saying some things that i believe or figured out with my anorexia recovery

-adding protein to carbs goes such a long way. even if its poptarts and lunchmeat. who cares. it helps your body digest the calories and makes it last so much longer so you dont get a super hard crash.

-they are lying about "dont eat before bed" u can eat before bed. it doesnt matter. maybe dont eat until youre fucking bursting at the seams bc that wont feel great when you lay down but if u want to have a bowl of cereal before bed. go for it. im not joking that shit saved my life.

-toppings are great. toppings on ice cream. toppings on yogurt. toppings on oatmeal. i couldnt do toppings on anything else bc itd fall off but it prob works for other ppl.

-if u know ur hungry but u dont feel hungry drink some water ur probably also dehydrated and its like. the water pops the hungry barrier. and then u want food.

-mindful eating (focusing on eating when youre eating it helps with your hunger/fullness cues and like your relationship with food and eating) is so cool. but if youre having trouble getting yourself to eat its perfectly fine to do something at the same time. theres a lot of meals i wouldnt have eaten if i didnt have something going on to distract me. you can do mindful eating another time. its okay.

-food novelty is also helpful. i still have issues when i have like a meal thats all mixed up in a bowl. im just like ya thats enough for me. except for pasta and soup. but thats me i really like pasta and soup. try getting another thing in another container. like fruit or a side. like a banchan. (im not korean thats just the best word to describe various sides that ive literally ever heard)

-starving yourself is actually bad for your skin. im not trying to push beauty standards if u have acne who gives a shit. esp if you dont give a shit. but i had HORRIBLE acne for years. nothing worked. and then i recovered and i still have acne when i neglect my skincare but my baseline is much clearer. and personally that makes me happy. so if you know youre not eating enough and you have acne. could be connected.

-theres SO MANY REASONS ONE MIGHT EAT. like not in the "eat because you need to do this blah blah blah" im talking scientifically. there are many factors that play into human hunger. you god physical hunger. we know her. belly goes "hhnnnggff hungry" and we go okay here u go girl. preparation eating or whatever. you know u wont be able to get a good meal when u need it so u eat in advance. social eating. everyone is eating together. u wanna eat with them. you eat with them. its beautiful. taste eating. like a craving. you wanna eat the thing that tastes good even if ur full. do that with caution bc you might get sick. emotional eating. also do this with caution bc you might get sick. but youre sad youre angry u wanna eat something THATS FINE U CAN DO THAT YOURE ALLOWED. theres also another one where your body is like "we need this food idk how it tastes but we need it" i was never told what that is called but it was in my side of the mountain where he was like I HAVE TO EAT THIS SQUIRREL LIVER oh my god ew its disgusting and then hes like ooooohhh i need vitamin a. that also happens. so theres a lot of reasons one might want to eat. and those are cool.

-ill say this next one with the caveat of im AFAB w the uterus and the ovaries and the estrogen. like yk how m*tt w*lsh would be like "define a woman" those freaks would be talkin about me. i dont stand by them but thats my equipment. and if you have the same equipment you will very likely go through a "second puberty." i have a different menstrual cycle. it was 31 days and now is 28 and its still regulating itself. and i got my period literally uhhh almost 7 years ago. but i lost her so. and i got taller i had like three growth spurts. my chest shrank and then grew back and then grew more. my horny levels went up. normal puberty things but like round two.

-my brain is not foggy anymore. like not regularly. i can think clearly because my brain isnt starving. im not necessarily smarter i can just think faster. and thats cool.

-also i can go up stairs better.

-the only issue is that i have problems standing and walking around for long periods of time. i get really tired. i think i either need to exercise more or its just something im gonna suffer from forever. im probably gonna end up suffering forever bc truth be told. i am scared of exercising. hehe.

-im happier too. could be the antidepressants could be the food. i dont know. but its fun!!!

-heres a scary thing. you will never be prepared for how hard eating disorder recovery will be. i had anorexia but any ed. will be the hardest thing uve ever done. and i graduated high school without knowing i DESPERATELY needed disability accomodations. it requires SO MUCH self reflection and vulnerability and scary shit. eating is terrifying. thinking about why you dont wanna eat is scawwy. gaining weight is freaky. its all scary and hard but u still gotta do it. figure out why for yourself. im not gonna tell you.

-people have different eating disorders for different reasons. for like two years ppl were like "why are you ashamed of your body? why do you wanna be skinny? why dont you think youre beautiful?" and then i figured out literally one random thursday "oh i dont think i have value unless im on the brink of death." and then i was like "thats stupid." and then i gained like 35 pounds and now im here. its not always body image. and its also not always anorexia dont be a fuckass whos like "YOUR ED ISNT A REAL THING STOP LYING" stfu.

-those bmi calculators are lowkey bs. when i was starving myself to the point where i could barely stand and i lost the thigh gap i had SINCE I WAS BORN the calculator was like "ummmmm youre kinda underweight. but a little bit." fake news. and now im healthy. im at my baseline weight. cognition good organs good brain good life good energy good and i checked the bmi thing for a health assignment (didnt wanna but i had to) and it was like "youre actually like slightly overweight. not goooood." and i was like huh. bc like one im. not? and also like whocares. whocares. not i. not i sir.

-following that literally only stupidheads will care if youre fat. like if you have health issues relating to your weight or like its making your life harder. thats grounds to lose weight. thats chill bc thats a decision you make. many haters will be lying about what makes someone fat and many haters will be like u suck bc youre fat. theyre full of shit. dont listen to them they are fuckass stupidheads.

okay im gonna call it there. some of this is just about food and eating and some of it is about body image and recovery stuff. but i hope it was informative or helpful or fun and i love you and youre strong and sexy or youre ugly if u wanna be. u are an ethereal deity of a faraway land or youre like freaky lil swamp creature if thats more your vibe. im proud of you either way

okay bye much love kisses

[yourlocalmechanism-dr-carmilla]

Hi, I saw you posting stuff about making your own music and I'm sorry if this comes out of nowhere but I just really like music, especially when people make it themselves. I always see people like drawing or writing but never music so it always makes me excited when I see people who are trying to do it because I play the violin and so it sort of feels a bit like my thing, and also it's pretty rare.

Anyway see this as an excuse to talk about whatever your planning if you want to because I'm excited for it!

Yep!

I have a few self written songs-sole about my ocs, one for the world of ulysses dies at dawn and also one thats evry personal- i may also cobble a album together with them (that like i make more songs and put them together and so on). But rn i REALLY focus on the first album "The Tragedy of Emily de Glacier & The Joy of Orpheus de lyra" :D!

I AM VERY HYPED! i wanna lesnr how to paly the keyboard-i am super impressed that you play the violin, like omfg how cool is thst?- but i also wanna just get the keyboard pit and jsut hit the tiles and sikg and maybe remmebr what tieks i hit to have a sort of melody? Just experimenting. Ill prob stsrt proepr practice next year or end of this year :3

But i am glad you asked :D i LOVE talking about things mike this-

Soo about the album-itll follow the story of the titular caheaczer, princess emily de glacier, and her story. I will input experiences of my own life in there-hesrtbreak, familyissues, emotilns, etc. -it will be ürojev5ing on my part, so not eberytihng that happens to emily happend to me. And its musical storytelling, essentially lke The Mechanisms do it (i actually "cover" their songs aka sing them myself w the instrumental in the background...i am thiinigk about proeprly recording thwse as i think covers are okay by cooyright? Cause i cant play a instrument yet yk..do you think anything about it?) And this album per se is HUGELY inspired by Jessica Laws song "raising the dead!". I habe a google folder with some of ly recordings ill link here, for you to listen ^^. I also wanan make album artwork ina abstract style (akak i cannot draw good so yeaa :/). I also currently look for a stage name to use to open a 2nd tumblr thats onyl dedicated to my songs and also prob poetry :3 .

Also finfact, i am a cosplayer and have applied to be a showact at cons-my stage name there is "your local mechanism" and i will sing songs by the Mechanisms..casue they are my passion. I also wanan sing some of dr carmillas songs BUT i keed to figure out how to extract the isntrumental audio :]

ALSO WHEN I PLANNED THE ALBUMY ESTERDAY AND WROTE THE SONG- I felt ripped out of my saddened state..there was gope..as if i had found my calling....its liek..am i mesnt to do this? (I gotta thank jessica law). And its like. I LOVE THIS! its liek..i wish i could do it as job but itll stay a hobby prob :/

Anyways, heres the link (i think tzats all i can currently ramble about me thinks...words are hard and puttign thoughts innwords is even harder

Anyways, thank u for ur ask! Feel free to dm me for more info :D or questions :3

[miumura]

what do ur moots remind you of?! (ex. places, color, song, etc)

ooo another moot game ! tysm anon :) <3 ill only do a few cause im on a brainrot rn 😭😭

@flwoie — bad by wave to earth

bc u literally make my day 100% better. i always look forward to talking to you!! like you’re someone i can talk about anything with bc you wouldn’t judge me 🙁 like im prob on disc most of the time talking to u or waiting for a dm back. but yeah, i could never be bored when talking to you 🤗 love u lots pooks 🤍🤍🤍

@wvnkoi — one and only by enhypen

i was truly lucky to have you in my inbox (or for me to being in yours) 🙁🫶 like u acc put up with my bs and im so glad for that </3 U R MY ONE AND ONLY FR !!!! like who does it like u tbh … im always looking forward to our convos whether u think otherwise 🤍 but yes please be more active bc i cant be missing one of my ramyeonz 😊

@haknom — jolly ranchers but green apple

this is SOOOO random but HEAR ME OUT i love love LOVE jolly ranchers, just like how much i love you (ohhhh was that smooth 😍😍😍) which is a lot LMFAO. but i love green apple sm u dont understand…its pretty unexplainable why ure so fun to be with but us 08z r js like that!! UNBREAKABLE BOND!!!! #jolly-ranchers-w-soph-foreva #just-like-sola (soph + kayla .. get it)

@yeokii — nail polish 😊

listen hana ure prob like … erm What the freak!!! but just hear me out. nail polish isnt good for u (js like how ure not good w/ me /j) to smell but its addicting. thats like u and me cause ure addicting to talk to u (or make fun of) AND ITS GETTING OUT OF HAND!!! but its like a guilty pleasure soooo be glad i only had good things to say. love ya official 08z goofball !!!

@yenqa — strawberries

u just do 🤨🤨 like idk strawberries taste vary depending on the harvest / kind u get .. like sometimes u can be vv sweet and super kind 🙁 and then we have the sour kinds where u used to (and still do) hate on me and fight me 🤬 at least ure not bad like hana ALL JOKES but strawberries r a superior fruit so ure superior in my book 🤗🤗🤗

@yswon — hi-chew candies

hi-chews r too good n need to be talked abt more!!! js like ur blog (it deserves all the love) idk how to explain it, but u remind me of the candy in a way…like could be sweet if u pick the right ones 🙏 and u cant tell me hi-chews dont fit ur blog rn!!!! like its a comfort candy + super soft = amazing type of candy i tell u. nobody does hi-chew like this which makes u awesome n unique 😍 … what am i even saying urm but u get it (hopefully)

@soov — beaches

beaches r really pretty (just like you) and i really like how calming they can be. but sometimes, they can get violent as the waves of the ocean crash and could nearly drown u (js like how u could kill me w/ ur pics ohhhh) LMFAO but i really do love them!!! and i just get that beachy vibe from your blog too :)

guys i swear i was gonna do more than this but i really cannot think rn 😭 sorry i may have not tired my brain out writing (soph cb???) so its hard to come up w/ reasons why i think ure this etc etc. i could prob edit this post or js say in the comments what u remind me of if u do wanna know ^^ <3!

[heartsoji]

hello, everyone. its been a while.

im really sorry that i kinda dropped off the map with no notice and YES i've seen the sweet msgs dropped by anons and moots and its really sweet to know that people ive never even met think abt me and care for me. will be responding to moots privately shortly - anons, just THANK YOU SO MUCH it means the world to me that you care sm. if you ever drop off of anon, i'd love to be friends :)

ANYWAYS, the reason(s) i sorta disappeared: just some family issues! my family is going through some problems with some certain family members going through a really hard time, falling into frail health, you get the gist. it hasn't been exactly lovely, but we're working things out rn and hopefully it'll get better soon. i kinda got caught up in everything and sorta forgot about my little community ive grown here. my apologies for that.

um sorry for this lowkey rly dramatic and overly lengthy msg but i didnt rly know what to say now that ive dropped off the globe with no signal of being alive, and i feel safe enough in this community (yes, the wonderful tumblr anime SIMPS u heard me right ugs (and me tbh) R SIMPS. community.) that i dont feel the need to just hide away my problems and just say smth like, "oh i got locked outta my tumblr account!" or smth idek. i trust ugs! love these ppl ive never even met <3 (more than some of my irls, even. some of them dont know that anything happened LOLL)

MOVING ON, i'll try to be active, but no promises! i cant say fs that any real work will be put out for a little while, but the biggest lump of the issues is over, and im in a better mental space now, so i can probs do some things? idk. at the very least, ill be doing some interactions and rambles and more abusing of my "jisu talks!" tag. i love all of you, have a wonderful morning/day/night! <3

[generalsmemories]

Hii not a request, more a ramble bevause im insane, but just came from a stressful college day (was asked if i wanted to go home so haha…obv.) and I’m so done and well maybe it seems like a request but I’m fr curious what jingy’d do like when you’re having a panic attack.

Specifically because I don’t want to be touched during one but I feel like the assumption will be that he’d just hug you and (even tho id probs want that but LIKE THATS ME ITS HIM YOU KNOW WHAG I MEAN AAAAA) like you know (do you?)

Okay sorry I’m a mess, so when I have panic attacks I go non-verbal. (I might be autistic) And like all i do is apologise and cry and hyperventilate and id love a hug but hate it at the aame time. And I feel like he’d know yk? That like if youre not into physical touch, he won’t touch. And if you are okay with it he will…. So hed ask and id nod? BUT THEN ALSO NO BECAUSE ID CRY EVEN MORE WHICH SUCKS AAAAA.

Or: i just want him yo be real and exist and hold me because im touch starved but I also dont because then hes real and I cant do anything and i cant talk and then its all fucked up because bad communication and haha mentally ill.

Sorry if this aint your tea i jusy feel its so normal bc all my friends havw this shit so we share the most insane stories and jokes yk?

Anyways much love <333

dear god anon i hope you took a nice rest when you got home from college- rememeber to put your health first before anything else! you can't flourish or give it your all if your body is ready to collapse any second.

I recently graduated earlier this year (around may) so i can totally understand the stress, but treat yourself well and i hope you got the very much needed rest. also don't be sorry, i get you and not wanting to be touched in such a vulnerable situation. well sorta anyway, i can perfectly initiate physical touch with others, but when others try it with me it's always a 50/50 chance that i will not even let them touch me or pull away after a few seconds HAHA (friends and family alike).

but as for how jing yuan would react i'm pretty sure he would notice pretty quick - he has quite a good eye for details after all! he pays close attention to everything around him, so picking up a few habits of some people would be a piece of cake for him. but if he's unsure i'm sure he would be the type to actually test the waters, if you're able to talk under such panic attacks he would softly ask and then just stay by your side as a presence if you were to confirm his suspicions!

if you weren't able to confirm or deny anything, i think he would try first. not go straight for a hug, but place a comforting hand and test the waters ya know? and if you were to first say yes then later say no he wouldn't question it - if anything if it stresses u out more after he would just placate you with the same :3 smile he sports.

BUT REMEMBER ANON FROM ME PERSONALLY!

don't put yourself down like that, battling mental illness is already a struggle in itself. you're already doing plenty enough by getting by each day! and judging by how you can still joke and talk about it with your friends, you already have close people who would probably stay by your side willingly to comfort you. you're not alone, but if you ever want to drop by again in the near future and ramble you're welcome to!

i would gladly chat with you again (و •̀ ᴗ•́ )و

[cubedmango]

Hey naina, tried to rewatch the cherry magic movie tonight. Got up to the nagasaki scene. It’s currently paused,,, I have cried genuinely. non stop since I pressed play? My head hurts really badly I think. I’m gonna try again tomorrow I hope you’re having a lovely day

(other ask under the cut for length)

KUROSAWA SAYING WHEN YOU DIDN’T TURN TO ME I WAS SAD AND THAT ONE FUCKIN TEAR THAT FALLS FROM HIS EYES AND THE WAY HE LAUGHS AND APOLOGISES FOR BEING A MESS I NEED A NURSE like i’m gonna. Die i’m two seconds away from throwing up my heart why would he. Why did they film a movie with such intent to tear me to the ground the way he can barely speak and has to try and gather himself multiple times with deep breaths before speaking and ends up crying anyway the way adachi looks on helplessly wondering how to comfort him and let him know how much he loves him the way. The way he tries to bridge the gap between them with understanding through touch one of kurosawa’s main love languages the way kurosawa’s eyes are so glossy and doe like as he waits for adachi’s kiss the way he says his name so softly the way adachi rests his hand on kurosawa’s knee and their hands find each other so slowly…, so softly… so tenderly… the way they can literally speak 636373 words with just their hands alone and do way more for the sake of romance and true deep mutual love than anything the way none of these are in order of how they happen because my brain is seeping out of my ears naina what the actual fuck were they thinking..,, machida keita akaso eiji and kazam hiroki you will receive my medical bills shortly i’m. I wow so. cool

PLEASE IM CRYING KFJHSDKFHDSJF ALL OF THIS IS SO REAL??????? cm crew put Smth into the nagasaki scene idk what but its insane like i will never Not be feral when i think abt it ...... kurosawas breakdown is so painful to see hes been holding everything back for So Fucking Long and imagining all the events from his perspective is crazy like think abt it. he has no idea if adachis ok or not and none of his calls go through and theyre so far apart like Imagine . the fact he wasnt like full on bawling in that scene means hes still holding back so much probs for adachis sake its so aaarhrrhGHGFGHF!!!!!!! LET HIM CRY MORE PLEASE.......

adachis side was perfectly analyzed in that meta i rbed earlier so i have nothing substantial to add but god for the 58302th time his Growth ..... even in ep 12 he had to get that push from tsuge to go meet w kurosawa but in the movie he could already tell kurosawa was putting up a front (and literally predicted it would happen as soon as he got the transfer offer) and he probs planned on talking abt it when he flied back to tokyo before the incident which is. ... .. and the look of determination on his face the entire time kurosawa finally broke down w no panic no overthinking like "I Am Going To Love And Cherish This Man So Hard" and comforting kurosawa w touch and no longer caring abt the magic that hes become reliant on for kurosawas sake. . Yeah im going to be ill about these two for the rest of my life thank u cm crew god bles <3

[tetzoro]

hihi precious aimsies!! im glad you’re feeling a bit better, im sending a big ol hug your way to heal you with my magical aimsies sickness go away powers !!! >_< AWEEEE oh my goodness, YOU AND KUROOS BACKSTORY?!?? HOW ADORABLE!!!!! that’s so silly how you both were pining for eachother T^T and then you’re just like “erm… what are we?!?!” BCUZ SERIOUSLY!!! kuroo seems so infatuated with you, warms my heart to see how adorable you two are (kuromy forevaaaa!! FAVORITE SHIP ITS CANON!!!!)

TEEHEE help!! of course ill tell you about me and kou, you’re spoiling ME right now!! >.< me n kou don’t have tootoo much of an interesting backstory (the lore does tend to change… sobs) but i will indulge since miss aimsies asked!!

basically we met back in highschool, i was super duper shy when it came to people i didn’t know </3 but i had seen him once in the courtyard and was like “°-° who is that fine man…” HELP.

i ended up seeing him around more since we were in the same grade, i accidentally quite literally bumped into him looking for a club to join (made a fool of myself i was super embarrassed, but hey beefy chest!!) and obviously, he suggested the volleyball club <3 took some convincing but the coach thought “hey, we could use another manager with bokuto on our team!” LMAOO!!

anywhosies, i joined as manager and got realreal close with the team (and obviously had a huge ginormous crush on bokuto) but kept it veryyyy quiet because i was too nervous to do anything… sigh. i only told the girls!!

one day i was just talking to the managers about him, and SOMEONE☝️ (konoha) overheard me !! he didn’t think twice before blurting a little too loudly “you have a crush on bokuto?!” UGHHH KONOHA AND HIS LOUDMOUTH!!! </333

everyone was just dead silent and i just walked out of the gym… i was so upset and embarrassed i didn’t even know what to do sigh. (little did i know the girls were absolutely screaming at konoha for it, poor guy HELP… and akaashi was with bokuto like “wtf just happened…”) but kou got super excited about it!! he had a big huge crush on me the whole time and i had no clue yet SOBS

kou eventually found me and gave me a big huge hug telling me the feeling was mutual in his own bokuto way <3 i was so close to sobbing because UGH he’s such a sweetheart i could smooch him forever and ever, i was so shocked and my shy self was just like “oh he likes me back and im kinda dumb! HE’S ALSO HUGGING ME RIGHT NOW!!! WHAT DO I DO!!!!” WAHHH (and i forgave konoha, i couldn’t hold a grudge to save my life!)

and yeah that’s a lil tidbit of just one of my favorite silly cliche backstories to think about teehee!!

not me practically writing a whole fanfic with this ask right now… um whoops!! but EEEP ILY AIMSIES, i hope you have the bestest day/night evaaaa and im looking forward to more of our chats teehee :3 youre the BEST!!! big huge smooches to you >.<

- :3

HI HIIII ^_^ WAHHH U ARE SO SWEET !! im already feelin much better thanks to your magical powers <3

PLSSS kuroo and i are dummies and unfortunately fall under idiots to lover trope … mostly bc im the idiot LMFAO !! but hey .. it all works out :3

YOU AND BOKUTO ARE SOOO SO CUTE STOP !! please i feel you sm on having it change all the time bc !! its just so fun to explore all the different ways you could meet your f/o :3 blooping them into different aus and different kind of meet cutes eeep !!

but the manager to lovers trope .. oh i love love love that for you guys hehe EVERYONE YELLING AT KONOHA MADE ME LAUGH PLS !! he’s prob just like ??! what did i say … i thought everyone knew …

im glad the girlies had ur back tho <3 and the HUG !!! HOW SWEET !!!! i know he gives the best hugs ever and will just scoop you up into his arms all the time bc !! he can teehee :3

you guys are everything to me please 🤧 im living for the fanfic LMAO i ate up every word you had to give me !!!! i sincerely love our chats so much !! everytime i see your like ‘ :3 ‘ i get so GIDDY !!!! my lil pal :’)

[minniepetals]

long msg (maybe?):

AHHHH so glad cmar is back 😭😭 been baking all day for family and cfriends so i wasnt able to see ur post abt its release AND when u released cmar💔 j so glad ur back and cmar is back🩷 cmar has me feeling so many emotions but ngl sometimes i also feel a little desensitized from reading sm angst in cmar😭(?)

alexander reminds me sm of my grandpa, he gives off such a warm vibe. A little prediction for alexander: i think hes the man standing behind karl ( hope m not wring and got the context clues right bc this would be v embarrassing rn😅) if oc acc kills karl right then and there or hurts him, alexander wouldnt say a thing and would have trusted him right there that he would do anything to her (if theres a plot twist and u acc make him hate oc i will be crying !!).

and if so !! i imagine oc going back to korea barely scathed and would take alexander’s adivce and get a dog. i would see her get a cutesy little puppy maybe to heal her inner child (like she gives in a little to her past self and lets go a bit j as alexander says) and absolutely adores her pup. THATS WOULD BE THE CUTEST THING EVER. but i also see her getting a big dog to keep her yk baddie energy through and through (but within the walls of her house or when no one looks she would probably baby her big pup).

I can see her abs loving her pup and probably going berserk on anyone who would harm her pup. u would prob do smthing like kill her pup off j to make us feel smthing.. and she would 100% go on a rampage after finding put who killed her pup🫡

and ofc this wouldnt be a cmar ask w/o tellings u that i hope the boys and oc makes up in the future. doesnt have to be soon or anyt i still have the urge to choke the cmar tannies (j a little). AND i hope they find put abt mc soon and go through abs hell as everything unfolds infront of them little by little. THE GUILT THAT I WANT THEM TO FEEL. yk. i acc imagine them finding everything out through a risky mission through their inears or smthing but idkidk its all up to beloved author (u, ily.)

if any of this. ur acc planning to write m sorry ill stop talking mb.

but on that note !! hope ur doing the best !! hope u feel amazing !! i want to tell u that ive probably read everytimg on ur masterlist alrdy and have repeatedly gone over “a thousand springs” and cried everytime.. i also abs miss ur drabbles ahuhu. but ur health and happiness is what matters most !! take ur time writing !! we wuv u (*˙˘˙)♡

okay i'd like to first point out that the man "standing" behind karl is not alexander but actually y/n's father oop-

"It feels like being in the presence of your father all over again, in the face of danger, of a manipulator, of a gaslighter, of an abuser. He returns hard and so vividly in the form of anger, in the form of a ghost, a spirit whom you see standing right behind Karl. He stands as still as ever, hands held behind his back, simply watching."

to explain, it's basically y/n hallucinating her father being there in front of her again the moment karl laid his hand on her.

will she kill him? will she not? i mean either way, he's dying so... 🫢

also the idea about her getting a pet sounds good lmao. i even thought about it while writing but suffice to say, we won't be introducing another animal character into the mix. the idea is really nice tho, like i just imagine her getting a big black dog who looks menacing, kinda like the way y/n in until the last star falls had cerberus (though in the of kai lmao). BUUT, when you think about it, her "guard dogs" are basically the reapers and i don't really feel like adding another concept into cmar's complicated character building lmao.

also you're getting some one-on-one with jk next chapter who yay for that 🥳

[mysicklove-main]

Is there anything else you wanna rant about with “your new pack” ?

u just want me to make-out with u don't u 🙄 🙄🙄

but yes sure i can talk for hours, especially since im working on the next chpt currently. (might take bout a week to post tho considering im so busy)

for everyone else not reading this fic, I will post your requests and other stuff after i finish the next chapter!!!

to begin with, i dont know how the hell to make everyone have equal amount of time shown. I want everyone to like all characters, but i accidentally write way more for specific characters than others which is unfair i feel to my (very fictional characters who dont give a fuck) boys. for example, think bout how much we see Keigo compared to Izuku. Its just hard to do it with 5 different ppl so.

I want to rewrite all my beginning chapters bc I feel like i rushed it thinking it was going to be a short story. But here i am, 79k+ words in and the beginning i feel is so so so bad. like i can't even reread it bc i cringe. but i am also so lazy and rlly dont want to rewrite it lol so i just pretend it doesn't exist.

comments, mean way too much to me. Like all writers i love getting a notification that someone commented on my fic, but now its getting to the point where im like, "damn this chpt didn't get many comments, did i do something wrong?" so that's embarrassing and i def need to chill and be grateful for what i have. Im working on it.

Eijiro, Izuku, Shoto are so fucking hard to write and Katsuki and Keigo are so easy to write. Its so strange that im struggling with Izuku, bc he is my favorite, but im trying to show that he is a little fucked up from his past but I also dont want to write him as super quiet. Idk i feel like i kinda brushed off his trauma and i didn't mean to. so that sucks. with Eijiro his actions are easy, simply cause i wrote him as someone to be very touchy and affectionate off the bat. plus he talks alot so. but his internal thoughts are so fucking difficult to write. like what are you thinking bout?? you know she is your mate, but he is trying to get his best friend to get with you. it is so hard. Shoto is the complete opposite. I dont know how the hell he would react in different situations, bc he is more quiet out of the boys, but I want to also show that he is also trying his best too. his deranged thoughts are easy to do, but everything else is a wreck. i think he is the hardest to write for by far.

speaking of shoto his character is so inconsistent. idk if ppl notice, but i do. in the beginning his is more obsessive and has the most negative thoughts. he kinda crazy, u feel me? now, i dont write as much of his creepy perverted thoughts. i just kinda forget to. so now he feels kinda bland and i need to figure out how to bring back some excitement back to his character. maybe this chapter ill go back to the creepy, obsessive, thoughts. it was so fun to write. this all goes back to how hard shots is to write.

I switch perspectives alot and I hope ppl understand what's going on and who is thinking what. I think I have a mix of second person (obvi, with the "you") and 3rd person. bc i narrate others reactions to the situations, and kinda treat Y/N as a character in the story, not as your self. does that make sense??? idk.

since hybrid stories are my fav, i would like to write more, but in different scenarios. for example, another Y/N x Wolf! Katsuki fic, but this katsuki would be a diff one from the other wolf katsuki in Your New Pack. Like i did with the Bunny! Izuku Headcannons. That izuku is diff than Your New Pack one. but would ppl be bored of it?? ik i will never lol.

i wish i could post a poll on who ppl like the best on ao3, just bc im curious who has the most fanboys. (it would prob be keigo tho lol)

i got bored of katsuki wearing the muzzle in the house, so i just trashed it. def poor writing thing to do, but idc at this point, it would throw off my plans for chpts if he was always wearing the muzzle.

sorry i talk alot, but hey u asked for it.

[foreverisntenough]

1. what was my favorite chapter and why:

i don't think i have a favorite because i liked too many... but the one that comes to my head first and the one that probably marked me the most was the one in which jude's diary is revealed. idk i feel like that was it for me, to know how much it actually meant to him. ill prob switch when i re-read 🤣

2. ⁠do you go back and reread any specific scenes?

yes! when the angst starts and then they get back together, my faves.

3. ⁠did u have a favorite character?

i mean i loved the main couple but can i say teddy... her cameos in this story were too cute!!!

4. ⁠did u like or dislike the smut?

loved it!

5. ⁠what do u wish happened in the fic?

i think most of the things that i wanted to happen, happened. maybe more drama with gabriel, make jude a little crazy

6. ⁠did u think it was too long or too short?

i wouldve loved to read more about how they navigate their married life, kids etc but i totally understood why the course of the story had to end there. hopefully we get one shots 🥺

7. ⁠was there anything unique in this fic compared to others?

it was very well written. each character... i hadnt read fanfiction as serious as this one in years and that felt so nice. i just loved it

8. ⁠did u like when links were included?

yes!!! it added so much more to the story. pls continue doing it

9. ⁠did the fic go as you wouldve expected?

yes!

10. ⁠was there anything u hated?

nope

11. ⁠was there anything u loved?

i loved jude i loved her i loved them sm everything seriously

12. ⁠what was the saddest or worst bit to read?

i feel like this one is pretty obvious 😭 when he cheated on her ughhh. both the sex and the party when she was upstairs (ik thats not cheating itself but ykwim)

13. ⁠what made me the happiest to read?

when they said i love u to each other for the first time 🥺🫶🏼

UGhhhhhh the girlies that respond >>>>>

Thank you so much for this feedback! It is everything to me!

a few things... I jut love love and whether thats in the form of Jude being sad in a diary of Teddy clinging to Judey... it just makes me smile so I love to know other people get that whilst reading my works.

I think I could do one shots of sort of an epilogue of their futured, if people would read. I'm fairly locked into Movie Night atm but i will need a breather eventually. and Maybe Act II epilogue is it.

I agree about the talking to the girl at the party! i feel like because it was so innocent because he didn't 'do anything' it like hurt me more for her. I don't know that one stung me because Y/N was falling, finally letting her guard down and Jude's out there actively trying to do anything but that 🥺🥺

I like to think he made up for it though.

TYSM for reading and messaging.

[unauthorizedmagicians]

Season 1 Episode 1 - Unauthorized Magic

this ended up being so long and they prob all will be tbf

Foreshadowing the time-loop from the very beginning huh? I see how it is.

Q’s mental illness being his first and last motif.

I forget how good the soundtrack is.

How exactly did he get institutionalized? Is he self-aware enough to submit himself or did his parents or what? Anyways moving on

Also, he takes a drug that's not even for depression its for OCD and phobias so maybe that's why it's not working huh…

I wish we had more of the books throughout the series. I think it's really interesting that he’s narrating it. Very much so mirrors his true belief in Fillory and in magic in season 4.

Ah yes, forgot Jane was a massive homeschool kid and was so blunt.

Julia makes me so upset in the early seasons. “You can’t run away hard enough, can you.” Firstly, shut up. Second, he admits this in the trials. Third, Quentin also does the thing where he just doesn’t tell the people in his life about his mental illness and therefore the coping mechanisms he uses look like childish escapism to everyone around him.

The contrast between Julia in the first episode telling Q to get real versus like 5 episodes later going batshit over not having magic so maybe just can it actually.

I feel the need to specify but I do not hate Julia as a character at all. She just pisses me off in the first like episode and a half or so. Like until she’s got her shit sorted w magic and the importance of restraint and all that she’s just judging everybody for everything like she’s better than so yea.

QUELIOT MEETING

“Am I hallucinating?” “If you were, how would asking me help?” ICONIQUE

Penny being a “don’t cheat off me” person in his first scene is so out of character but yk had to introduce him ig

Apparently started new meds. Yea ok. They started him on OCD meds? Alright then. They tried everything ig

Ok so she hurts herself to change the circumstances around the memory spell. But we know that this was all on purpose and Jane made sure this was what happened, that she didn’t go to Brakebills but she knew about magic so she could become stronger. So did he just not do anything?

Oml the fucking score. I could talk for hours about the score. The silence before his anger starts building, the small wind as Fogg riles him up, the deep souring as we see the shadows looking like moths on the wall, the regal brass when he builds the card castle that looks suspiciously like the one in Fillory. just. all of it

The garden path…

“You haven't been depressed, you’ve been alone” LIES. BULLSHIT. LIAR. he just wants to capitalize on ur pain and if ur taking ur meds ur not in pain so u cant cast magic but ur telling him what he wants to hear so he’ll give them up

“Nerd boy dragon porn shit” hehe little does he know

QUELIMARGO MEETING

The garden path…

The lighting in this show reflects how Q views the world. Overexposed: hope and all that shit. Underexposed: death and nihilism and all that shit

QUALICE MEETING

Hate that ship name but dont know a better one

ORLIYODI MEETING

“The answer is yes, til you pass out and  then again when you wake up.” “Did you just read my-” “nah, its just a guess” ICONIQUEEEEEEE

“The world is inherently unfair, act accordingly” one liners from day 1

Q being a little shit about Julia getting hte short end dsflkjdhgkds hate hate hate hate incel shithead hate hate hate hate sorry i was projecting from the book and only a little bit from the show

Why does he stand so close to Alice when he goes up to her

AND SHE JUST LETS HIM

Penny and kady r so married from day 1 its so painful

How does Q not know what dubstep is???

The end of this episode is absolutely brutal and nobody can react like at all

Also this last scene i cant tell if Fogg made the coin fall, if quentin did it, or if the beast did

[miumura]

moots who would have a crush on (idol)??

ooo this is interesting!! ill do a few moots that have interacted w/ me on this app currently 💪 (or at least i remember..)

@wvnkoi — heeseung. without a FUCKING doubt. she talks about him a little too much … literally look at her pinned post . hes there ! claims im her jake to her hee so that explains it. but ngl i think she’d have a crush on sunghoon…suits her psycho awesome vibe 😊❤️

@flwoie — hyunjae. she literally has a tag dedicated to him why would she not have a big crush on him … also went feral when he showed his abs SO LIKE

@haknom — jaehyun. like all i remember is her talking abt him … like she would def spam any type of gc or pms to share ANYTHING abt him. kind of obsessed if u ask me 😊😊😊

@flwrshee — heeseung. prob kicks her feet every time someone brings him up OR sends something related to him… i see it. i know who you are. 😊😊❤️❤️

@yenqa — jay. jay is literally her bias and YES i can see her having the biggest fattest crush on him. she already does btw .. jay suits her vibe too!! like you’d tell me he is her type n i would believe it cause they r like this 🤞 feeding into ur deluluness + include me too 😊❤️ BYE LOOK AT HER TUMBLR HEADER / IMAGE TOO 😭

@tnyhees — heeseung. ik i said heeseung for some other people already …. but heeseung. i feel like u would talk about him nonstop and have a little acc where u just talk about him 😊 i would too so i get it

just me feeding into my moots delusion so they think their biases and them r meant to be ❤️❤️

hi guys interact w me more pls im not scary 😊❤️

[trikanoid]

My thoughts during the final palace and after finishing the final palace in Persona 5 Royal

Be warned, there are spoilers ahead

------------------------------------------

i cant believe the supposed “bad” or not true ending of persona 5 royal is not actually the correct ending

it seems so happy and perfect with how it looks, most games would consider that the true ending but ig coz the games theme is rebelling against an unjust society and the sorts, it wouldnt be right for marukis world to be real, they even voice acted it and put so much effort into an ending that would usually be avoided if u wanted to finish the game, god damn p5r is written pretty well

and once i beat the final palace, i pre much have 100% achievements and moving onto p3p 🤔 and then probs after playing thru p3p twice to get 100% achievements, ill be replaying p4g

even crazier is that jokers teammates dont actually notice anything about the world they were given, only joker and akechi notice or know about it but joker is just praying that the ending chosen was a good ending

and then i can kinda understand marukis ending coz like a world where no one gets hurt. in marukis palace theres a part where u answer a questionnaire or multiple and one question where it had something to do with ur goals with the answers being “continue trying to reach ur goal”, “do whatever it takes to reach ur goal” or “give up and move onto a new goal/dream” actually made me realise that i usually take the easy way out in most things 😢 its kinda sad, id go for the final option and usually give up and move onto another dream/goal, which also explains why i never get addicted to have anything im rly passionate about since ill just give up when i hit a slump or just cannot progress aaaaaaaa p5r is so good

but the biggest problem with marukis ending is that ur happiness is just given to u, u dont think at all, uve got one singular path laid out for u to follow and while i find that decent and nice, its also rly fun and nice to struggle and come out on top, tho for me i usually only do those things for simpler activities such as coding, im fine with struggling with figuring out how to code something coz at the end its just so satisfying to figure it out and make it work, but at the same time, i wouldnt mind a path laid out for me since im the type of person to go with the flow and follow alongside others, but im also pretty neutral so while idm it, id also not like it and would like a path that makes me want to struggle and want me to reach my goals/dreams 🤔 aaaaaa theres so much to think about

tbh never thought a game would make me wanna type this much about it but after reading the comments of the “bad” ending, it got me wanting to share my own opinions but didnt wanna do it in the yt comments

like no cap if marukis reality were real, it would be great coz it means ur friends who suicided would come back, cats and dogs would live longer, etc and then i could have my best friend who suicided come back to life and while thats great and all itll also mean the struggles of coping with his death would disappear, it would mean id spend less time trying to catch up with ppl, thanking ppl for talking with me, letting ppl know i cared and id go back to the person whod disappear every once in a while, never thanking anyone for games, never thanking anyone for anything and making people question whether i rly found it fun to hang out with them or whether i cared about them much, so much to think about 💀 but i can genuinely understand where maruki is coming from where he doesnt want anyone to be hurt since id like the same 😢

he truly is the goodest bad guy

[littlejadegarden]

reblogs cause yeah, anyway, this is the queer, nd, chronic illness, version of this.

fun sexy time, but morning after i actually do like them. i think we should be friends.

craft hang-out night turned weekend sleepover

meeting up to walk their dog with them. shit. we forgot doggie bags. i'll go back. you stay here. no no, you stay cause your-- thing. flaps hand. you can't. i'll go. i'll be back soon i promise.

picking up their prescription at the pharmacy bc you're up late anyway. might as well do something productive. hah yeah no, i needed um... i needed midol anyway. so. im here. here-- take this. no, you have to-- here. there. takes off the fkn prescription paper and hands over the bottle. and the pharmacist said to call if you have any weird symptoms. i wrote the number on the bag. hey. with food, okay? food. points at instructions. not coffee. no-- redbull doesn't count. no, not even the blueberry. here-- for fucks sake. here. eggos-- you-- you like these right? where's your freezer?? shoves way into their appartment

convincing each other to schedule the scary doctor appointment.

sitting in the corner chair at the dentist with them. them holding your hand while you're getting blood drawn at the doctor's.

sleepovers, more hanging out. sharing hulu passwords and watching eachother's fave shows/movies. prob adventure time and fkn regular show.

oh! you like my sweater? no. i don't know the brand. the tag's off. uh... it... was bothering me. i dunno. you can just have it, it looks.. nice. on you. anyway. hm? you're hungry? oh, i have half a trader joes oven baked mac n cheese at my place. i mean, if u wanu. i know you like it. its gluten free. i know you uh... can't have um... bread and stuff. i dont like it but i thought id-- a-anyway. i can drop it off for you for lunch. no, i don't mind. yeah, no-- i have to come by anyway.

weird dream about them. sharing said weird dream and looking up the meaning together. dude. are you... yknow.... eyes them. ...gay? or sth? stfu you bitch. i think i was just exhausted. doesn't mean anything about you. (it totally does. omg it fuckign does. like totally)

ok. now i am afraid,,, i must admit,,,, there have been,,, feelings,,,

cuddle time on couch watching dr who. ok i guess we just kissed. okay. um. i like that.

i guess? we are in a relationship now? I think?

babe. babe. we're out of tampons. and razors. and i want to dye my hair. (only one of these things was actually accomplished. so now you have pink hair and they have blue armpits and bangs)

becoming each other's accommodation spokesperson. (oh, you wanna cancel plans with them? okay. well. did you TELL them you were having a bad mental health day? no? babe. we talked about this. ok. im gonna type something up. you read it, then send it.) (beeb. my love. you need to eat. look. made u some soup. and brought you some sprite. yes, yeah-- yeah, i know. i followed a recipe. just for you. anyway, here. feel better. i guess ill sit here and watch you eat it. cause i love you or whatever. ...do you want saltines? oh, fuck. thats right. so... uh... like, just salt??)

6 steps of a relationship according to montenegro

spend the night

spend the weekend

exchange keys

sexy weekend getaway

extended vacation

move in together