#u can experience this in a gay relationship
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"Confessions" and the Beginning
Hello fellow clowns, genuinely fucking unbelievable episode amiright?
FIRST OF ALL, welcome back Bobby's hot priest, missed u bitch.
I really did miss just like regular calls last season, it's nice just to have a random silly one to start an episode.
GIRL I MISS CHRIS AS MUCH AS EDDIE DOES RELEASE HIM FROM HELENA DIAZ'S CLUTCHES!!!!
This man is going through the most insane confessions of his life. First Bobby saying he's a murderer and now Eddie saying that his son caught him with his dead mother like give this man a break lmao.
"I don't deserve forgiveness, I gotta go."
And this is the beginning of Eddie's thesis: what he deserves. More importantly, what he thinks he deserves.
Buck is literally like the most awkward man alive. He has zero game I love him sm.
Bitch. ABBY???? FUCKING ABBY?????? SHE IS BUCK'S SHANNON, CONSTANTLY HAUNTING THE NARRATIVE.
"I wonder how many men she turned gay" Maddie is Abby's number 1 hater (besides Eddie lmao)
"Unless there's another boy" JOSH PLEASE!!!!!
The Glee reference Tim Minear you will pay for your crimes lmao
It's interesting that he didn't even seem to consider taking the next step with Tommy until Josh brought it up. Also really interesting how he ends up framing their conversation later, like it's more of an "honoring Tommy" thing than a "I really want to move in with you" thing. Now this could just be awkward scripting or awkward (no game) Buck, but I think it's worth mentioning.
I just love Chim and Maddie so much they are my true north always.
Eddie's tank top? Yeah make that an everyday look for him good lord.
"I'm straight" YEAH SURE JAN WHATEVER YOU FUCKING SAY.
He's punishing himself by not choosing the juice because he doesn't think he deserves it, because he doesn't think he's allowed to take it... He is the obstacle in his own joy. What is that joy? What is he standing in his own way of?
"Because the LAFD doesn't allow beards."
"So it's a disguise?"
"Something like that."
SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!!!!! HELLO?????
"What are you afraid of seeing when you look in the mirror?"
"A failure. Someone that doesn't deserve forgiveness. Or joy."
I'm literally beating my fists on the ground. It's textbook. Fucking textbook. He's hiding from himself, hiding himself from himself, hiding from his joy.
Nothing like 911 to give you the most insane gutwrenching side plot of all time when I tell you I was SOBBING over those two brothers. (To be fair it's been an extremely hard week).
"I'm the himbo" HE IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!!!!!
Look let me just get this out of the way: I really loved bucktommy. I liked their dynamic and I liked what he was able to teach Buck about himself, but I think Tommy is ultimately right: he can see the writing on the wall, just in the same way he said "my attention?" in 7x04. He was Buck's first queer relationship, but he will not be his last. And I think Tommy has an idea who his last will be, even if he kept that part to himself.
I do think it was kind of an insane speedrun at the end there, I'm not sure why he couldn't just ask Buck to pump the brakes instead of fully breaking up with him.
It's also just a complete manifestation of Buck's greatest fear: abandonment. Abandoned by his parents, abandoned (through no fault of her own) by Maddie, abandoned by Abby, by Taylor, and now by Tommy. It sucks for him, and I hate it for him and for Tommy, who also doesn't seem to think he can have good things, and would rather beat Buck to the punch than actually take the risk and be vulnerable.
I think that this was a good learning experience for them both, and I think they'll both be better for it in the long run.
"I'll see you around, Buck" killed my ass.
MADNEY BABY MADNEY BABY MADNEY BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And lastly, Eddie shaving off the mustache, his barrier from joy, and dancing around his house in his underwear. Finding the joy in being himself, finding the joy in his life again. And Buck knocking on the door, not asking any questions, and them sitting together on the couch, shoulder to shoulder each of their respective "barriers" gone.
They have some things to figure out, but we are so close that I can taste it, I can feel it.
I haven't felt this way since the last season of SPN, and while that didn't turn out the way I wanted (due to network and Robert Singer's meddling), I am confident that that is not where we're heading here. Tim Minear is back. The show is on the Shonda network. Buck is out and Eddie is on his way there. Gay Eddie. Buddie endgame. It's happening, and nothing will get me out of this clown car.
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pay attention to how your partner values your time.
i mean this beyond things like how much time you spend at work or how often you answer their text messages.
if you spend hours getting ready for them, do they value that effort? if you plan a meal and do all the shopping and prep and cooking for it, is it just dinner for them? do they notice the small chores you're always doing, or does it just magically "get done" when they're not looking? do they notice when you've spent time for them, or is it just something that is expected to happen?
my ex understood our relationship as some kind of credit service. he would do something large and nice for me maybe once or twice a season - and then "collect" on that credit for a while. my time was not as valuable as his - i was expected to give up my time for things like the upkeep of our relationship, chores, everything. even though i was in school and employed (and honestly doing more than he was), he assumed my time couldn't be better spent. he used to say i was just "better" at the daily stuff. he was my first longterm boyfriend - i hadn't been taught it. it didn't come naturally. it's just that if i didn't do it, he valued his time too much to do it for me.
recently i saw a video of a man smashing a cake into his new wife's face after she explicitly asked him not to. i'm glad that these days, most people don't find it funny. but still, someone comments: girl, just wipe it off and jump back into the party! but the fact of the matter is - even if it wiped off perfectly, even if the makeup only took a few minutes to reapply, even if the dress wasn't ruined by the oil in the icing - she would have to spend time away from her own wedding in order to do it. her new husband - he gets to laugh and sit around and party. she has to leave her loved ones and go be alone to handle the results of his prank. it might be the only day she gets to see some of these people; but that time spent (the makeup, the dress) is just valued less. it's seen as inconsequential.
just... pay attention. is it normal for you to give up your time, but they wouldn't reciprocate? do they consider their hobbies essential while yours are just "useless ways to fill the day"? is going out with their friends a hallowed event that must not be interrupted - but at the same time, you find that you're punished for or banned from similar events. do you do most of the upkeep? do you trust that if you needed to take a break, they'd absolutely pick up the weight? if you spend time and energy and effort on something, is that valued; or is it just a thursday to them.
#just thinkin#good luck out there#while yes this is a gendered phenomenon i wanted to talk about it#in terms of relationships#bc tbh it's a relationship dynamic that can exist in any relationship#and like. gay pll exist#u can experience this in a gay relationship
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At some point I really do need to talk about tsukasa + rui wrt to rui - who has had so many people leave him because his ideas were scary/dangerous even when he did everything to ensure people wouldn’t actually get hurt - going “I’m going to be too weird and he’s going to leave me so I should just get it over with now by being as insane as possible. Ok he’s still here what if I’m more insane. Ok he’s still here but surely he’ll leave if I’m even crazier. Ok he’s still here but THIS time (rinse and repeat).” I feel like a lot of why rui acted Like That in the beginning was because he was like “this guy is a liar there’s no way he’ll actually stick around *nobody* is ok with my stunts.” If everyone says you’re weird and your ideas are insane and will hurt people you might as well lean into that being your reputation so that nobody else will attempt to be your friend and then leave when you + your ideas are too much. Obviously a lot of this is unconscious but I think in the beginning it was at least a little deliberate.
He was 100% lying when he was like “if you touch this you’ll die” in the main story but I feel like that was his way of being like “see recruiting me was a bad idea. Oh well this is what I expected”. Which is also why he immediately is like “bye then ✌🏻” when tsukasa is like “I don’t want to die.” & then he’s shocked when tsukasa is like “ok fine let’s do that” -> he suggests a flame thrower and launching tsukasa 10 meters into the air -> tsukasa is still like “😰… but it will wow the audience so as a future star I must do it”
which is 100% the first time anyone has been insane enough to agree to what rui throws at them & he’s very obviously super cheesed by this
The reason I’m singling out tsukasa (besides the fact that I’m a ruikasa enjoyer) is that, unlike with emu/nene, 1) tsukasa promised to match his freak during their first interaction 2) when rui attempted to call his bluff tsukasa continued to be insane and agree to his ideas.
& then when rui “shows and theatre are my entire life and also the only way I know how to connect to people (even though that never works)” kamishiro leaves and refuses to return, Tsukasa elects to convey his true feelings/rediscovery of his original goal through a show based around their argument. Which is an absolutely unhinged thing to do, but it works because rui is also unhinged and shows are the language he speaks best.
I think after the main story rui’s continued attempts to find the point where he’d finally become Too Much for tsukasa were unconscious. The brain likes patterns and it’s natural to attempt to make any exceptions to a rule fit with what you’re used to.
Wonder Halloween is absolutely rui’s worst nightmare coming true, in that he constantly goes to such great lengths to ensure that what he does is safe and people still leave anyways - and now he’s finally found someone just as crazy as he is, a place he can be accepted, and Tsukasa gets hurt because one of rui’s inventions malfunctions. If people left rui when it *was* safe, why on earth would someone stay when they actually got hurt because of him? & then tsukasa doesn’t leave, but rui pulls back because there’s no way he’s getting a second chance if someone else gets hurt. I think tsukasa being mad at *himself* for getting hurt and only getting mad at rui for pulling back was Huge because rui is so used to being too much, and now tsukasa is going “I won’t accept anything less than your authentic self.” Also huge because it showcases that tsukasa is a fucking freak.
The constant roping tsukasa into antics at school is (imo) another part of that - ok so tsukasa is fine with all of this on the stage, but what about in front of all of his peers? Getting in trouble and being labeled as weird will be the deal breaker right? Even nene doesn’t want to be seen around him. Nope! Tsukasa actually is going to act like they’re glued at the hip at school. Tsukasa cares about his reputation, in that he doesn’t want to be labeled as a trouble maker, but he’s already known as a weirdo and doesn’t really care. He’ll huff and puff about Rui being irresponsible and tarnishing his reputation but he’s still not leaving. Rui will purposefully annoy him & tsukasa will react dramatically but continue to associate with him.
Pandemonium is essentially an event about their relationship, & I’m not going to go pull a bunch of quotes (I am keeping this post solidly under control. I am not going to go insane with the evidence. I am normal and in charge of my own destiny.) but since I have this quote on hand:
Rui: I had always thought that I could never properly understand everyone around me.
Rui: as I started doing shows at Wonder Stage with everyone, my way of thinking and feelings began to change.
Rui: now, I am able to understand and connect with someone without relying on shows, and I’ve come to value the beauty of laughing alongside others
Rui: that’s why — tsukasa-kun. Thank you for giving me the chance to change.
The reason why pandemonium is the turning point for their relationship is because they’re connecting outside of shows. The reason why rui specifically cites tsukasa as the reason he changed is because tsukasa brought him to wxs, repeatedly emphasized that he would not accept rui holding back, and stuck with him when any sane and reasonable person would have been like “I value not getting detention on the daily and not dying on stage.” I say that with love. Pandemonium shows that rui *can* connect to people and form relationships without playfully threatening bodily harm several times a day, but the rui + tsukasa relationship is special in that they’re both insane Together.
One specific thing I want to point out is in the card story where tsukasa joins the disciplinary committee (I’m not transcribing that/pulling quotes watch it yourself) because he’s tired of having a reputation as a trouble maker. The easiest way to clear his name would be to stop associating with Rui at school, but tsukasa instead goes “I’m going to be taking responsibility for him and watching him carefully”. ??? Ok? Freak. (Tsukasa Tenma voice) you are NOT getting rid of me.
Last thing to mention is that saki, upon first meeting rui, is like “He must keep my brother in check I’m glad he found someone to do shows with 🥰” (funniest possible first impression of the ruikasa dynamic). This post is rui focused (consequence of spending the past 24 hours rotating him in my mind) but I think that because rui is so crazy people often forget that tsukasa is also insane. Even saki, who he’s objectively more normal around, thinks he’s a freak.
They’re both show maniacs. Matching each others freak. Absolutely misery inducing to be around if you haven’t built up a tolerance. I think they’re neat. I hope they both explode. You understand.
#analysis#‘didn’t you say you were tired and not doing this again’ oh but I’m not doing this again. i only pulled from 4 sources this time.#rui#tsukasa#mine#this is intended to be just an analysis of their canon relationship so I can’t end it with my true thoughts#which are ‘the inherent romance of being the same kind of insane as someone else’ wrt how#passionate they are abt directing/acting/shows in general.#as I’ve said before. comedic duo first friends second gay thing third. that’s how u gotta look at them for the authentic experience.#i like that you can tell that this did get slightly out of hand because I started it with ‘I need to talk about’ and the post is long enough#for an automatic read more. i can’t help it. character analysis is fun.
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I DONT WANNA BE THE OWNER OF YOUR FANTASY!!! I JUST WANNA BE A PART OF YOUR FAMILY!!!!!
#ME WHEN🥰🤩😘😍🥰😍🥰😍🤩😘😘🥰😍😍😍#i can never have irl friendships w/o them being tainted by my sexuality lolll#like it was fine when all of my friends were queer. that group was fucked for vastly different reasons#but like. straight men who KNOW that im a lesbian will start being friendly and im incredibly fucking lonely all the time so its like :) yay#and then EVERY TIME. it was only ever bc they wanted to fuck me.#and if i have one more fucking 'straight' girl tell me i turned her gay im going to blow something up#you dont even like me youve j had bad experiences w men and have a weird romanticised view of wlw relationships#and youve decided that i fit the bill of ur aesthetic shit bc you think all the other queer girls we know are ugly.#insane thing to say btw. 'oh im having a sexuality crisis over u bc ur the only hot lesbian ive ever met.' real love for the community there#anyway. this keeps happening and im so bored of it this is why im shit at irl friendships#nyxi cant stfu#vent post
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-.-
#i am reading some stuff in the agatha tags#i know not a great idea#i just thought since I've been enjoying the meta posts atleast some of them I'll just keep a lookout for it#but as usual#the bs comes through#i have not seen one person who is mad coz agathario not been the focus#so either I've blocked all the idiots#or more likely people are preemptively policing others#which i guese is bound to happen but boy does it annoy me#i really don't care about them being endgame or getting happy ending or whatever#i felt the fandom as a whole also understands that and are just enjoying the ride#it's still mcu#we can be cautiously optimistic but especially with a story like agatha's#and her and rio's relationship being actually labelled as romantic antagonists#i fail to see how people even think that it's going to end as them getting some sappy happyily ever after or something like that#seriously do people really think that's in the cards#or it's just some wishful fanon thinking#i just want to enjoy the show as a show with all these interesting women characters#maybe i am alone in it but from what I've seen atleast on tumblr it feels the same for most of us here#i dunno what happens on other social media sites and i also actually don't care#it's always been like that especially wlw queer ships so yeah it kinda irritates me#i think i need to filter better and try focusing on the artsy stuff#anyways i am wondering if they will release teaser for next epi or not#I'll prefer to go without knowing anything tbh it is kind of exciting to experience it fresh without any spoilers#lets see#in the meantime i am rewatching the show and getting evermore obsessed with agatha and to some extent rio ha ha!#i am posting too much u can tell i am very invested now ...anybody want to pull me out? no? okayyy..down the road I go...!#i am so gay dude...fml#tag ramblings#for ts
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simon peter is the funniest apostle to work with because in theory he's the most loyal, most by-the-book of the apostles so you'd expect him to be the most logical and collected one but 80% of his concerns (pre crucifixion then everything went downhill and they all died) are that he has a crush on every person he encounters
#🧅#im not religious just insane.jpg#true poly disaster. funniest shit ever.#cause yknow simon p's a fisherman he's married he's a very poster family man#and he loves his wife he really does. im not gonna make the only guy who's married fucking Hate his wife and want to like. go have gay sex#instead cause mlm good mlw bad. but he does have his. Issues. concerning how he views women#he's gonna work on that though i'm not leaving him like that don't worry. peter already knew the torah by heart probably for peter turning#to god meant learning how to respect women. and yknow people he considered 'ungodly' in general. to respect humanity as he respects god.#tee hee i love this arc. i love all of them but i dont ever rlly talk abt this one.#but anyways yes he does love his wife.#then some strange guy shows up while he's fishing and he's like follow me son of jonah i will make you a Fisher Of Men. and peter's like#TEE HEE OKAY JESUS i will come fish men with you.#which......okay....simon....... interesting that u wanted to do that..... with zero context....#and then cue weird thing with magdalene. which. they don't end up together by Any Means.#they hate each other. they have not spoken in a civil manner once. but they do have a weird bond between them than only aromantic people#can understand.#WHICH BTW i already knew there's a thin line between polyamory and aromanticism. but it really showed when while trying to#explore how peter experiences polyromanticism i found myself projecting a lot of my own aromanticism on him#(is polyromantic a correct term? i'm not sure these terms really confuse me especially considering the time period cause like. polyamorous#describes a relationship with multiple people which peter obviously wasn't in in 30 AD. but he Did have romantic feelings for multiple#people so is that polyromanticism? or is that a completely different term? idk. bare with me.)#very interesting. anyways yeah there's that. magdalene is aro also to me. so yeah this is one of the most fun dymanics i have in this lore#cause like. polyromantic person and aromantic person somehow having the same mutual not platonic not romantic but a secret third thing#connection with each other. i love thinking about them
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Remade these for Starfinite for the new year ^_^
Also here r their designs in my silly Starfinite au! Starline gets front and back cuz he's special
#starline doesn't scream abt bugs#but he doesn't like stepping on them cuz he doesn't want bug guts on his shoes#I put forgives after fight first as depends cuz like 🤨#it really does#I feel like what would happen is infinite would get headpat withdrawals#while they are still in an ''argument'' and starline would not be able to resist patting him and then they'd talk it out#starline can't cook at all#infinites cooking is usually freshly killed raw flicky and starline things thats erum.....gross#infinite can cook over an open flame but not in an oven#there are usually robots doing the house work#but I think starline stress cleans too.....or stress organizes#I think infinite confessed to liking starline first but I feel like starline already knew and gaslit it out of him#starlines relationship experience was kidnapping and stalking boys saying they were his boyfriend when he was 11#starline calls infinite pubby and honey and that is the extent of his pet names#infinite usually calls him doctor but when he does refer to him differently it's usually ''star'' and then a different word next to it#like ermmmm#starlight or something!!#ough yeah if u don't know the flags#starline is genderfluids and gay and infinite is demiboy and greysexual#sonic the hedgehog#dr starline#infinite the jackal#starfinite#idw sonic#starline the platypus#doctor starline#sonic art#dj art#sth#sonic au
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ohhhhh my god girl i don't careeeee
#love my roommate but urghhhh. sorry they dont make enough fictional female characters that interest u but u dont need to justify it to me#write your mlm its literally fine. sorry but ur not gonna gain my respect or approval by defending why u write more mlm than wlw#i dont care if u have equal amounts of each or not LOL we just have different tastes thats all there is to it#and I KNOOOOOOWWWW she writes femslash too im not denying that !!!!!!#most of my fav media is lesbian centric bc I have a strong connection to my identity as a dyke. so i gravitate towards things that explore-#that + complex relationships to gender + its social enforcement etcetc. and its easier for me to get attached to characters that i can-#connect with bc we have shared experiences or the world percieves us in similar ways or we percieve the world in similar ways etc#and shes said she DOESNT feel particularly attached to her sexuality in that way. so ofc shes not going to be looking for the same things-#in media and thats OKAY!!#literally have nothing against her writing gay men i like some fictional mlm relationships myself!! and its cool that she enjoys it#i just find it disappointing that we dont have much in common taste-wise bc thatd be more fun to talk abt#but thats why i come on tumblr dot com.. to talk abt fictional women w dykes who understand them like i do amen#and im happy to listen to her talk abt things she likes and projects shes clearly enjoying working on like thats awesome love to hear it#but sometimes its like shes trying to persuade me abt smth but theres nothing to persuade. i dont knooooow#like ik shes not trying to get me into her interests she already has plenty of friends who are. but theres no approval to win from me???#i think im just annoyed bc i feel like i cant rly talk abt the things im into w her bc she disliked them so much#and also annoying to be around someone who shares an identity w me but is clearly more uncomfortable w it than i am#maybe thats not even true actually the real reason im annoyed is bc ive had a long and exhausting week and im coming down from-#my first day on new meds and im soooo so so tired have i sajd that already. and my head hurts#and i want a fucking hug and im just projecting my lack of physical and emotional intimacy onto her bc she happens to be the person i-#spend the most time with. but thats really unfair of me its not her fault or obligation at all. ah i just want to shower and sleeeepp#and tomorrow day 2 of meds im gonna get so much shit done!!!!!!!! i hope.. i wanna finish drafting my comic too teehee#wouldnt it be so crazy if now im medicated i might actually be able to start and finish projects i reallyyyy want to do..#well i wont get my hopes up yet#anyway........#another day another 5 million tag rambling post complaining abt everything. and dont expect me to ever stop 😚#.diaries#literally why would i care abt the tastes of a girl whose fave character in tlt was naberius........#she rly had to pick one of the ONLY men and not even one of the particularly interesting ones. and shes not even straight???? her loss 🙄
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KISS ME MORE — ning yizhuo
tldr: my (22f) gay roommate’s (21f) dating life makes me feel weird. she’s one of my best friends but now i’m wondering if i could be homophobic.
tags fluff, crack, jealousy, non-idol au, roommates, based off that one reddit story, short fic, dialogue heavy, mentions of jmj, hi yunjin! tw for oblivious ning, pacing’s weird kinda
wordcount 5.2k
🎙️ author’s note: happy birthday ning! late fic ik… but i’ve been busy (i’m sorry 😞) hope our dearest main vocal stays happy for the rest of her life! can’t imagine aespa without her 🤍 happy reading~
r/relationships posted by
u/throwawaylizard 16 hours ago.
TLDR: my (22f) gay roommate’s (21f) dating life makes me feel weird. she’s one of my best friends but now i’m wondering if i could be homophobic.
i am currently roommates with this girl, A. we've been staying together ever since we graduated and we’re very close. sometimes we’ll even jokingly flirt with each other but she knows i’m straight and she has never made me uncomfortable before. i’m a foreigner and A has definitely helped me grow accustomed to the culture here. i owe it all to her. which is why i’m confused about my feelings right now.
i’ve never thought of myself to be discriminatory towards anyone and i always welcomed those different from me, regardless of their sexual orientation. however, recently my roommate has come out to me. i supported her and didn’t think much of it after. but here’s where the problem starts. she came back with a girl a few days ago that i recognise from our extended friend group. i have nothing against gay people but when i saw the girl, i just felt so upset. at first i thought it was because i was in a bad mood and all i wanted was to cuddle with A, but afterwards, A would progressively get more touchy with that girl (lets call her Y). every time i would see them, i just felt bad. i wanted to puke at the sight.
i caught them making out on the couch once and i got so pissed off. i think it was because of a rough day but basically when my roommate started to apologise, i just blew her off. Y seemed embarrassed too. i felt really bad afterwards since A was really hurt by my action. she asked me why i was so angry and i just lied saying that something at work made me upset. i don’t want to tell her that it was because seeing her with a girl that i was annoyed.
there was another incident where she brought Y to our weekly game night. all my friends seemed fine with her, except for me. one of my friends, let’s call her M, had to pull me aside to ask what was wrong with me. in that moment, i realised that i was only hurting A and Y by being a jerk. i’m normally a polite person but that day i was being unnecessarily rude to someone i didn’t even know. i chalked it up as wanting only the best for A since she’s a year younger than me and wanting to protect her. she doesn’t really date anyone and she’s very quiet. am i being unreasonable? i really don’t want to be homophobic. i told M all about my feelings of homophobia and she told me that she was dating a girl too. i didn’t know why she brought it up but then she asked if i felt any disgust towards her for being gay. i said no and that her sexual orientation would never change our friendship.
so she asked why do i only feel that way towards A? and i want to extend that question to everyone here too. can someone help? do you have any experience with something like this? i don’t want to lose A as a friend. she’s one of my best friends and i can’t see myself not standing beside her in the future. we’ve been through a lot together and i don’t want this to be the reason why we end our friendship. she’s never once complained about my dating life and it feels hypocritical to do the same to hers. but i just feel queasy whenever she brings up other girls. like i want to bash my head against the wall type.
do i have selective homophobia? can someone help?
⇧ 157 | ⇩ | 89 comments
u/betterthingz01 | 12h
op i hate to break this to you… but i think you might be in love with your roommate.
u/throwawaylizard | 12h
can you elaborate? please!!!
u/flatearther | 11h
Are u sure u don’t have a crush on A? Or that u are straight?
u/throwawaylizard | 10h
uhm well i’m straight… so i don’t think i have a crush on A but if i was into girls, i’d definitely fall in love with her!! she’s really sweet and caring.
u/flatearther | 10h
Oh 😭😭
u/mingmingz | 7h
how do you feel if your roommate brought back a different girl? maybe you just don’t like Y as a person?
u/throwawaylizard | 7h
she used to bring other girls around too i think they were just friends though. i felt the same way but just seeing her kiss Y makes me want to throw up :((
u/blueskies444 | 5h
have u tried talking to ur roommate? i think communication is the best solution here
u/throwawaylizard | 4h
i talked to her a few days ago, asking her if she could stop bringing Y to our hangouts or apartment because it feels weird. our friend group only really consisted of five people and as bad as it sounds, Y just felt like an intruder. she kinda looked at me weird before agreeing. but then she asked if i would be fine if she went to Y’s apartment instead and obviously i said it wasn’t any of my business. A got a little upset and we haven’t been talking recently…
u/blueskies444 | 4h
i’m gonna be real w u for a sec and say that A is most definitely trying to get u jealous
u/throwawaylizard | 3h
why would she do that?
u/blueskies444 | 2h
yeahhh i’m not the one who should tell u why
“ning yizhuo, why am i getting messages from jimin unnie saying that she found your reddit post?” minjeong’s voice shrills out behind yizhuo. the girl shrinks, shivers running down her spine at the thought of anyone finding out about her post. she had resorted to reddit for help after much consideration and even aeri had said that reddit was surprisingly helpful at times.
“that’s not me! you’ve got the wrong person!”
minjeong rolls her eyes and tosses her phone onto yizhuo’s desk, “that’s literally you. ddongie would be upset to know that he’s a throwaway lizard.”
yizhuo instantly protests, “that just means that it isn’t my main account! i didn’t want people to find my real account.”
“oh, so you are throwaway lizard?”
she cowers at minjeong’s intense gaze, knowing that her little slip up just cost her whole facade.
“well the comments were helpful!”
“did you not reread what you typed out?”
minjeong’s genuine tone makes yizhuo hesitate.
“yeah? did i make a lot of spelling mistakes…?”
“no! did you not realise?” minjeong asks again. yizhuo huffs, swerving back around in her chair, “realise what? that i’m a bad friend? y/n hasn’t talked to me in days.”
just as she said in her reddit post, you haven’t spoken a word to her ever since that day she confronted you. yizhuo doesn’t think she was super mean with her words but the way you had reacted made it seemed like she killed your whole family.
she had only said, “hey, can you stop bringing yunjin over?” and her mere words had launched a full-blown argument where you had insinuated that yizhuo was jealous that you had someone to rely on.
it couldn’t have been further from the truth! yizhuo would never be upset about your happiness. any semblance of bitterness had lessened when she saw how bright your smile was or how much you were laughing when yunjin would tell a joke.
(she didn’t find it funny but at least you laughed. yunjin was the epitome of dad jokes. she was not funny.)
“she really hasn’t? wow, she’s determined,” minjeong chuckles.
yizhuo rolls her eyes and turns her attention back to her sketchbook. a few scrawned out designs, nothing much. just to take her mind off this situation for now. the pencil drawings somehow only manages to ensure that her brain constantly thinks about you though. how you encouraged her to enrol in a fashion course and how you were certain that yizhuo would become the biggest designer ever known.
she would giggle at your claims and humour you. now all that was left was your silence.
“why would she be determined to ignore me?” yizhuo asks, sighing, “i was upset but now it just seems like she thinks i don’t want her to be happy.”
minjeong raises an eyebrow, “what did the comments say? did they help?”
yizhuo huffs just thinking about the reddit comments. none of them really helped her to identify her feelings. just stating that she was gay and in love. both wrong!
“they said i’m in love with y/n and i’m jealous of yunjin,” she answers coolly, trying not to get too worked up over the false accusations.
minjeong winces, “do you think they’re right?”
yizhuo furrows her eyebrows.
“no?! i’m not gay!”
“but do you like y/n?”
“no! she’s just a very good friend!”
the brunette sighs, “that’s what they all say.”
“minjeong!”
yizhuo couldn’t be in love with you. no way. you were really just a good friend. one of her closest. she adored you greatly and wanted the best for you.
“so why are you so upset?” minjeong asks.
“i don’t know! that’s why i’m asking reddit! but now i just look like an idiot,” yizhuo groans, wanting to pull her hair out of frustration, which truly shows how irritated she was. she would never harm her hair.
“yizhuo, have you ever considered that you’re not as straight as you thought?”
yizhuo turns back to face minjeong, who’s sitting on her bed. she thinks back to all the times you’ve hung out with her. the lingering touches of comfort. the warmth she felt whenever you spoke.
she just wants her friend back. and she doesn’t know why she’s acting so unreasonable. could minjeong have a point? what if yizhuo…
“oh my gosh! i’m jealous since she’s out and gay—”
minjeong lights up, squealing, “yes!”
“and i’m just a straight girl without any confidence! i’m jealous of her confidence!”
minjeong deflates almost instantly.
yizhuo knows she’s right, so she immediately hatches a plan to talk to you. one comment said communication was vital in preserving this friendship, so yizhuo jumped into action. she knew you had your shifts at night and yizhuo could catch you off-guard right after. your work usually ended late and yizhuo always dozed off on the couch waiting for you. recently that routine has been broken, of course, but that’s when you’re most susceptible to vulnerability. yizhuo needed space to be honest and truthful.
thus, she waits patiently in the living room. yizhuo’s not really sure how long your shift lasts but she normally hears your keys jingle at midnight, so maybe then?
she waits an hour. then another. and then another. she spends the time scrolling on instagram, a frown forming on her face when yunjin appears on her feed.
then, finally, she hears the door creaking. jumping up from her lying position, yizhuo sits upright, focused.
“oh,” is your first word to her. not ‘hi’, or ‘hello’, just an acknowledgment.
yizhuo blinks at the sight of you in your work attire. but she quickly shoves the thought of how attractive you looked into the back of her mind.
“hey,” she winces at her own unfamiliar tone, “can we talk?”
you stare at her in shock before reluctantly nodding.
“yeah, sure.”
she pats the space next to her and clears her throat as you sit down.
“i know i’ve kind of been a jerk lately especially to you and yunjin, but i just want to say that i’m sorry.”
surprise flickers in your eyes, “oh.”
“i talked to minjeong unnie and it really cleared things up. i realised that i was upset because it felt like we weren’t as close as before. knowing that someone like yunjin could come replace me. i was jealous that you had someone while i didn’t. it felt like you were moving on without me, so i got a bit angry. i’m really sorry for the way i treated you and yunjin.”
(their first interaction really went poorly. yizhuo had came home, ready for a long movie night, just to find a random girl (well, not really random) sprawled out on her couch.
“i’m home,” yizhuo calls out, carefully approaching the body. long and lanky is the first thing she notices. and the bright red hair. yizhuo dyed her hair red before, it stained her pillowcase cover. she wonders if this girl’s pillowcase covers are stained with red dye too.
“hey, how was your day?” you ask, laying beside the girl, “sorry, this is yunjin. we just finished a gym session together with aeri unnie. minjeong unnie knows her.”
no wonder why you were barely dressed. yizhuo scrunches her nose at the sight of yunjin’s arm wrapped around your bare torso. she nods and asks quietly, “why is she here?”
you laugh, “i was bragging about my post-gym lunch and she said she wanted to try.”
yizhuo’s never tried your cooking before. she feels a little out of place now.
“ah, okay,” she replies dryly, not bothering to keep her volume down, “is she going to be here all day?”
yunjin wakes up at the commotion, a little disoriented as she shifts.
“oh, shit. sorry, y/nnie,” yunjin yawns, sitting up, “sorry ning, i accidentally fell asleep.”
“it’s yizhuo. only my friends call me ning,” she spits out. you send her a scalding look that makes her want to retract her words, “whatever. sorry. see you guys later.”
at night, just before you leave for your shift, you reprimand her, saying that she was extremely rude to someone she didn’t even know. yizhuo had tuned out most of your scolding, not wanting to hear you defend yunjin.)
“oh…”
yizhuo swallows harshly, squeezing her eyes shut, “i just need you to know i’m not praying for your downfall or anything. i want the best for you, especially since you feel like my younger sister.”
as soon as she finishes her little speech, she opens her eyes to your flabbergasted expression. eyebrows furrowed with your mouth agape.
“uhm… can you forgive me?”
yizhuo really needs you to forgive her. she doesn’t know what she would do if you decided that this was the breaking point for your friendship. she would respect your decision but still, it wouldn’t be nice. who would want that? and if you decided to end the friendship, what would happen with the apartment? yizhuo really likes being roommates with you. it would suck to have to find another roommate as meticulous as you.
“well— uhm, of course,” you stutter, “i gotta go shower. sorry.”
“oh, okay.”
just as you’re about to get up, yizhuo reaches for your hand, “we’re okay, right?”
she watches your throat bobble before rasping out, “yes. we’re fine.”
wow! yizhuo mentally pats herself on the back.
that was so easy. it felt like a whole weight got lifted off her chest. yizhuo smiles to herself and enters her own room, proud.
(meanwhile, in your own room, you vent to yunjin, bewildered by yizhuo’s obliviousness.
“she said i’m like a sister! her absolute gall! and she said it’s because she’s upset she doesn’t have someone like me! your whole jealousy tactic didn’t do shit!”
“girl, calm down. i didn’t know you liked the dumb ones. who knew she was so stupid?”)
you stare at yizhuo, who’s trying her best not to show any disdain for the way yunjin’s arm was slung over your shoulder. she must either be extremely self-repressed or just stupid. probably both. unless she didn’t actually like you. that thought, you didn’t dare to entertain. the once confident and bold girl had turned into this timid and shy kitten.
“take a shot if you’ve kissed someone in this room before!” aeri reads out the card before gulping down her drink. minjeong and jimin do the same and so do a few others. when yunjin shakes you ever so slightly, you take the initiative to swallow down the burning sensation. yizhuo’s glare narrows before she turns away entirely.
subtly grinning at her act of jealousy, you hum happily. there’s an outcry of people asking who aeri kissed and the attention shifts away. most people in your extended friend group had assumed you and yunjin to be dating. the only people who knew the truth were minjeong and aeri. jimin was kept in the dark since well, truthfully, she couldn’t keep a secret from yizhuo.
“take a shot if you ever kissed someone of the same gender.”
there’s more people drinking this time. you drink yours after a refill and so does yunjin. your eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets when yizhuo drinks as well. wasn’t she straight?
“who did you kiss?!” jimin screeches.
yizhuo wipes her lips, glistening with alcohol, “a friend. it was a dare in high school.”
you listen with rapt attention as aeri eggs on, “was it good? are girls better than guys?”
“well, it was definitely less sloppy,” yizhuo shrugs, giggling. her blush has worsened under the lighting and you can tell she’s at least tipsy now. the redness was currently spreading throughout her cheekbones and neck. you would coo at the adorable sight of her pouting and playing with the soju bottle if she wasn’t the stupidest girl on earth. you noticed how yizhuo drank every time yunjin squeezed your shoulder or you leaned into her touch. was she seriously still so thick?
“take a shot if you ever crushed on someone in this room,” aeri groans, downing her glass again. you drink yours and others follow. it wasn’t unexpected. you were seventy percent sure that most of the guys had crushed on jimin before, at least for a second. or maybe hanbin. he was cute too. that, you could admit.
“aeri… why are all the questions about dating?!” jimin whines, flopping onto the carpeted floor. minjeong winces before exclaiming, “i think she’s drunk now. let’s call it a night, okay?”
you agree. yizhuo looks seconds away from passing out as well and despite your recent gym endeavours, you do not want to carry a twenty four year old woman back home. yunjin taps your side and slyly tilts her head towards yizhuo, who’s leaning against the couch.
“go save your princess, romeo,” she whispers and stands to help minjeong clean up.
after all the bottles had been cleared, you crouched to yizhuo’s eye level, “ning, let’s go. it’s time to go home.”
her eyelids flutter open and she blinks at you wearily, “home?”
you nod, standing to wrap her arm over your shoulder to steady her. finally on her two feet, you bid goodbye to everyone and make your way home, albeit slowly.
every minute or so, yizhuo would jolt and nearly topple over. right as you reach your place, she leans over to the sidewalk drain and gags. you let go instantly and take out your phone to record her. next time she wants to get drunk, you’ll just show her the video. let her reflect.
“yizhuo, hurry up, i wanna shower,” you complain, dragging the hem of her shirt.
“o-okay…!”
“uhm, you have to get up.”
yizhuo nods again, wobbling as she stands. you grip her wrist and pull her into the apartment lobby. her body weighs heavily onto yours in the lift and you huff at the stench of alcohol.
“you smell bad,” you sigh.
“really?” yizhuo giggles, “you don’t like it?” the elevator dings.
she turns around to rest her head on your shoulder.
“i shouldn’t have gotten so drunk…”
“no kidding. c’mon you big baby.”
finally, after much effort, you manage to get yizhuo onto the couch. you’re heaving and panting at the end but at least she’s comfortable.
“please never get this drunk again,” you groan, flopping onto the couch.
yizhuo moans, “not my fault.”
“yeah? who’s fault is it then?”
she flips herself around, facing the ceiling, “y-yours.”
“how is it my fault?”
“you and yunjin…” she slurs out and your heart leaps.
“how is it our fault?”
“you keep touching each other,” yizhuo inhales sharply before mumbling, “i hate it…”
grinning, you pat her back.
“yeah. it’s my fault. sorry baby.”
“hmfph…”
r/relationships posted by
u/throwawaylizard 4 hours ago.
UPDATE: my (22f) gay roommate’s (21f) dating life makes me feel weird. she’s one of my best friends but now i’m wondering if i could be homophobic.
hi guys! so i know some of you all have been asking for an update and here it is. there’s really nothing much that has changed? we’re back to normal, mostly. A doesn’t bring Y around as much anymore which honestly, should make me feel guilty but i don’t. we had a talk and i think it went rather well. i told her i felt like i was left behind and she forgave me for being so shitty.
it feels like this was just a hurdle in our friendship and we’re closer than ever. she’s become really touchy with me and i appreciate that things are back to normal. she’s been initiating talks and hangout sessions which boosts my mood immensely. i’m really happy with the progress we made. we’ve even started cooking together and it feels awesome. Y had tasted her cooking before and i didn’t. so it felt like this hole in my heart had been patched up. our movie nights have become solely ours and everything’s great. she’s the sweetest girl i know and the most caring, so i really do feel happy that i have my best friend and roommate back. our cold war was doing a toll on my mental and physical health but a simple conversation had cleared the air so easily.
sometimes when she brings up Y since she still hangs out with her, i do feel a little upset. she told me they aren’t dating, just good friends. but other than that, we’re cool. thanks for all the comments! i’m glad i’m not homophobic :D
⇧ 178 | ⇩ | 102 comments
u/imissher | 3h
op you can’t be serious…
u/throwawaylizard | 3h
? what’s wrong
u/imissher | 2h
it feels as if you haven’t really solved this ‘homophobia’ issue. just put it off to the side.
u/throwawaylizard | 2h
IM NOT HOMOPHOBIC 😭
u/mingzmingz | 2h
well i’m glad? as long as you guys are happy ig. idk what’s up with gay people
u/throwawaylizard | 2h
thank you! i’m not gay though.
u/japansfinest | 1h
HOLY SHIT NING
u/throwawaylizard | 1h
OMG DONT DOX ME???
u/japansfinest | 1h
GIRL BE SERIOUS RN 😐😐
u/1800hotnfun | 1h
i strive to live as blissfully ignorant as you, op
u/throwawaylizard | 1h
not very sure if this is a compliment.
things had reverted back to normal. yizhuo was happy again and it seemed like everything was fine.
so how did she get here?
yizhuo had simply gone out to get groceries for your dinner together and when she arrived home, hands full of plastic bags, she heard the tail of your conversation over the phone.
“i don’t think she’s picking up my hints, yun,” you say in hushed whispers, “maybe she really is straight. or she just doesn’t like me.”
despite yizhuo’s moral compass, she decides to listen in on your conversation. she’s never heard of you liking someone before, or being so insecure. what girl wouldn’t like you back? and you liked a straight girl too?
she can’t hear yunjin’s reply but you let out an exasperated sigh, “maybe she thinks i’m just being a really good friend. i thought she would have already realised i liked her by now. your whole jealousy plan didn’t work either. i mean, it did but not really.”
yizhuo slowly twists the door knob before loudly announcing, “i’m home!”
she hopes that by now, you would have ended the call so she wouldn’t have to interact with yunjin at all.
“oh,” she catches the anxiety in your voice, “did you get everything?”
“yup. there was a sale on apples, so i got those too,” yizhuo says, a little too cheerfully, but she wants to cover up any nervousness. as she places the bags on the kitchen counter, you stand up to help unpack everything.
while you start to arrange all the groceries, yizhuo thinks about your words. liking someone. a girl. a straight girl who was potentially oblivious to your advances?
yizhuo scrunches her nose.
sounds…
familiar.
“hey, did you get healthier milk? the one with less sugar added.”
as you twirl around to ask, yizhuo’s heart gets caught in her throat.
she was the straight oblivious girl.
“uh— yeah. i got both,” she gestures awkwardly to the pile of bags. you nod and go back to sorting everything out. god, she needs a breather. trudging to the couch, she sighs as the softness envelops her. she couldn’t wrap her head around this— you liked her? potentially? definitely?
yizhuo spends the next few minutes having an existential crisis. she was straight! the straight girl that you liked! and that whole jealousy thing with yunjin! you planned that! she can’t believe it. all her nights were spent debating whether she was homophobic or not and it was all a rouse to get her jealous? well, was she jealous? minjeong had seemed intent on getting her to admit that, which she did. but maybe it was because she was jealous of yunjin.
not for taking up your time.
but for being able to touch you and hold you in ways she can’t.
holy shit. she’s not as straight as she once thought.
and she has a huge crush on her roommate.
how could she let reddit comments be right?!
yizhuo stares blankly at the ceiling. you call out from the kitchen, “do you want white or red wine?”
she stands up from the couch, resolute in her decision now.
no wonder you had looked so offended after she sister zoned you! yizhuo would hate it too if all she was to you was an unnie. she wanted— no, needed to be your everything.
“yizhuo?” you ask again, examining the two bottles of wine.
yizhuo almost sprints into the kitchen. the sight of you with your hair up, the cute lace white apron wrapped around your waist, and your focused expression. it has her drooling. everything was so domestic.
how hasn’t yizhuo noticed this sooner?
“white wine please,” she answers when you’re within arms reach.
“are we drinking the whole bottle?”
she stretches out her arms to engulf your body in hers and reads the label on the wine bottle over your shoulder. taking gratification in the way your body shudders, yizhuo hides a pleased smirk.
“hm, should we?” she whispers hotly beside your ear. you shiver before muttering, “maybe. is tonight a special occasion?”
“i mean, it could be,” yizhuo grins, “you were promoted recently, right?”
tonight was one of your day-offs, and you came back recently, boasting about the extra time off you got from being promoted. of course that was celebrated with a simple get together with friends. but yizhuo didn’t get her own special celebration with you.
“yeah? okay, we’ll drink it all then.”
yizhuo smiles into your hair. she’s never felt happier. knowing that her inner frustrations had been settled finally. you were just trying to get her jealous. a good attempt nonetheless, it worked incredibly well. but now she’s certain of her own feelings.
“you smell nice,” she blurts out.
“i used your shampoo. ran out of mine.”
“mhm. smells good.”
yizhuo spots the hint of satisfaction on your face.
“are you complimenting yourself right now?”
“i have really good taste,” she states.
you roll your eyes playfully before detaching her arms but she just slithers them back into place.
“ning, i have to cook.”
“hold on,” she mumbles, “i think we can celebrate another thing.”
sensing your confusion, she continues brazenly, “we can celebrate our first night as a couple, right?”
“what—”
“i’m sorry for being so oblivious this whole time. i got so pissy because i was jealous. apparently, i’m not straight. or i just like you, i don’t know yet. all i know is that i envision myself by your side,” yizhuo explains, “everytime you mentioned yunjin i got upset and it’s because i thought you guys were dating. that’s why i didn’t like any of the girls you brought home either. i’m sorry for saying you’re like my sister. i like you a lot. not in a straight girl way.”
she hears you gasp and she can’t bring herself to continue without your reaction. yizhuo’s been through so much struggle with coming to terms with her identity and feelings and now she wants to get it all out.
“are you serious?” you ask without facing her. she chuckles at the redness at the tips of your ears.
“yeah. sorry for being a jerk. it was because i like you.”
“ning yizhuo— i… wait, let go of me for a minute. i wanna look at you.”
reluctantly, she does so.
you look so pretty under the kitchen light, yizhuo thinks.
“uhm, where do i even start?” you chuckle awkwardly, “i really thought you were into me when we first met and when you said you were straight… i think my heart died a little! but it’s okay, since you’ve been such a great friend to me. i must admit that yunjin did volunteer to be my plot device to make you jealous. i was hurt when you were being rude, so i’m happy you apologised. i like you too. a lot.”
yizhuo grins, heart beating wildly against her chest.
“can you say that again?”
“i like you a lot, yizhuo. can’t believe you called me a sister though.”
“i said i was sorry!”
r/relationships posted by
u/throwawaylizard 7 hours ago.
LAST UPDATE: my (22f) gay roommate’s (21f) dating life makes me feel weird. she’s one of my best friends but now i’m wondering if i could be homophobic.
hello! i’m glad to announce that this situation has finally been settled with a happy ending. i would like to give you guys a proper explanation and ending for all the help you provided.
first of all, yes, i’m not straight. or maybe i just like A. i haven’t explored that part yet but also, i’m in love with my roommate. i was jealous of all the girls she brought over and i wanted to be the one holding her and making her laugh.
second of all, you guys were right. she was using Y to make me jealous and it worked. so maybe she’s the real mastermind.
and lastly, we’re finally dating. we’ve been taking things slow for now since this is all new to me but A has been incredibly sweet and supportive (as she always is). it’s just a new experience but i’m willing to do anything as long as A is by my side.
thank you all for the help and comments!
it turns out i don’t have any problems with A kissing girls if it’s me she’s kissing.
⇧ 359 | ⇩ | 153 comments
#aespa#aespa x reader#aespa x fem reader#ning yizhuo x reader#ningning x reader#yizhuo x reader#ning yizhuo#ningning
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thinking about how I've seen OCD get talked about now, but haven't really seen many posts that actually explain what it is. And like, obviously people shouldn't get all their info about mental conditions from posts, but u can't deny that internet communities and stuff play a major role in people recognizing and putting names to their own experiences.
But like since the general public has like absolutely no idea of what OCD actually is (no thanks to popular media), and a lot of things I see talking about intrusive thoughts don't mention OCD (either bc they originated in OCD circles or bc intrusive thoughts aren't Exclusive to OCD or for some other reason), there should prob be more explanation put out on what OCD actually consists of.
Which is kinda hard in some ways, bc there are so many ways OCD can present in terms of what "themes" a person experiences, so someone talking about what their themes are might not ring a bell with someone who experiences different ones. But like, the core thing with OCD isn't the presence of certain themes, it's a specific pattern of spiraling thoughts and reactions.
Like. OCD is a mental condition/illness where people experience stressful, unwanted, repetitive thoughts. These are intrusive thoughts are what make up the "obsessions" part of the disorder. In response to these intrusive thoughts, a lot of people will perform certain actions or think certain things in an attempt to neutralize or disprove the threat they represent. These are the "compulsions" part of the condition.
For a more "traditional" example, someone experiencing intrusive thoughts that they might catch a communicable disease may obsessively wash their hands or google their symptoms to try to lessen the anxiety. While someone who is worried they might hurt someone (even though they very much do not want to hurt someone) may avoid being near sharp objects or may avoid the people they're afraid of hurting.
One of the issues with OCD is that performing the compulsions provides short term relief, but in the long term it only strengthens the stress caused by the intrusive thoughts, thus furthering the thought spiral and actively making it worse, to the point where, depending on your themes, you may be (almost) convinced that your intrusive thoughts represent the truth or the inevitable or something permanent.
Intrusive thought themes cam be literally anything, but some of the common ones are stuff like
Questioning your sexuality, gender, etc (what if I'm actually straight/gay/bi/trans/cis/etc?)
Being worried about losing control and hurting yourself or others physically, sexually, emotionally, basically any way (what if I want to kill someone? What if I'm a pedophile? What if I'm an abuser? What if I want to stab myself? Etc)
Fear of becoming or being sick
Worrying something bad will happen to you or people you care about
Worrying about your spiritual beliefs or lack thereof (what if I'm actually Christian? What if I'm actually atheist? What if i don't believe in the faith i ascribe to? Etc)
Worrying about relationship status (what if I don't actually love them? What if they're not "the one"? What if they're cheating? What if *I'm* cheating? Etc)
What if I'm a bad person?
Fear of losing things
Fear of things not feeling right (this is often be related to other themes via magical thinking. ex: if I don't have my things organized Just Right then something bad will happen)
Fear of unreality
Compulsions vary by theme a lot obviously, but some common ones include
Hand washing
Organizing things until they Feel Right
Checking and double checking and triple checking to make sure you did something correctly
Obsessively reviewing your memories to disprove a thoughtor make sure you don't believe something
Arguing against the thoughts in an attempt to disprove them
Testing your mental reactions to a thought or to certain kinds of content, to show yourself you don't actually believe or feel something
Obsessively googling symptoms, testimonies, things related to your thoughts
Obsessive prayer
Repeating phrases, mantras, affirmations, etc in an attempt to make thoughts go away
Avoiding things and situations that set off your intrusive thoughts
Repeatedly asking for reassurance from others ("I'm not being xyz, right?")
But yeah this obviously isn't exhaustive but, just, if this kind of thing sounds familiar, you should probably do some research on OCD, bc while intrusive thoughts can occur with other conditions, the intrusive thought-compulsion spiral is the core of OCD and isn't really a subaspect of depression/anxiety/ptsd/etc. and the treatment and management of OCD can look different from other stuff, so its a good thing to look into.
(Also it's important to keep in mind, esp if you're someone that doesn't have it, that someone's intrusive thoughts Are Not "secret desires" or "repressed urges" or anything the person even remotely wants to act on. Someone having harm-related intrusive thoughts is not at risk of actually acting on them, no matter how worried they are of doing so.)
Anyway this was a long post and I don't have a neat way to wrap it up and also I accidentally added a poll and now can't get rid of it so here's free poll. I'm running on nyquil and a small amount of straight gin (which works very well at numbing a sore throat) rn gnite
#ocd#actuallyocd#actually ocd#intrusive thoughts#my hand is fuckin stiff from typing this all out on my phone rip
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QUICK SYNASTRY OBSERVATIONS^_^
Venus 1H Synastry is nooo joke aside from the strong very obvious chemistry and attraction, if you or them identify as straight yall could literally turn gay for each other 👩❤️💋👩🤣
Moon 1H Synastry is NAWTTT for the avoidants 😔!!! House person could really depend on moon person for validation and theres so much hidden things in this relationship like secrets and resentment </3 this could depend on the entire chart though!!! the good cute side though is that you both could lowkey have feelings for each but never telling each other because you both just know…
Mars 1H Synastry is lowkey so attractive like aside from the strong physical attraction, mars will literally do anything to please or meet house persons needs or desires 😭 i told this guy who had his mars in my 1h that i really liked his paintings and if he could make one for me and that boy had his gloves and canvas out the next hour😭🤣
Mars 8H Synastry not gonna lie i know some of yall be loving mars in the 8h synastry but this synastry placement irked me ouwwttttt overtime😭 as house person in this situation mars person was FEINING for me he was a real freakazoid like the freakiest of them all he was basically FERAL and i was chill with it for a few months but it seemed like thats all he wanted to do and its like can we just talk tonight❤️? Mars will not understand this because theyll percieve almost anything house person does as provocative and sexually enticing but this could go for both of you guys so idk🥴
Pluto 7H Synastry is cute at first because pluto will be so infatuated and interested in house person, youll notice pluto person will be the first to look at your stories without even following you sometimes and its like aw they must rly like me imma let them be :) but behind the scenes theyre checking your social media almost 24/7 looking at all your interactions online and probably will lowkey start stalking all of ur friends too 😭 the pluto person will do this without house person knowing (if theyre sneaky enough) feeling the need to anticipate the house persons actions or feelings … “i just wanna talk and conversate cause I usually just stalk and yk masturbate and I finally got the courage to ask you on a date so if you say yes, let the future fall into place, cunt” (she by tyler the creator resembling pluto 7h synastry👀👁️)
North Node 2H Synastry is lowkey cute in a way bc this is a “i gotta get rich” after looking at house person once😭! north node will literally see house person as this rare beautiful diamond that they wont wanna lose and they will let house person know about this too! but this is just the good side of this placement bc this could also lead to self worth issues feeling like u guys arent worth each other leading to insecurities showing out in this relationship🤬
Uranus 10H Synastry is lowkey a shocker to house person from my experience when it came to a certain career path, in my case fashion, uranus really changed my perception on it 😭 showing me the true reality of the fashion world and its like uhhh idk if i wanna do this anymore☺️! but at the same time uranus person could really be inspiring to house person because of how unconventional and unique they are! i also noticed uranus person could really influence house person to be unconventional and unique aswell! house person could go thru a lot of sudden changes with uranus person when it comes to their career and how they end up being percieved in person or online if this relationship ends up being public.
Sun 2H Synastry is nice to have with someone because sun person will motivate house person to improve in any area of their life they will be on you too (for good obviously)😖😩 Sun person will wanna see house person thrive financially and just in general giving house person opportunities for this. There is potential jealousy on both sides mostly house person because of achievements, wealth and values literally can be anything 😣
#astro community#astro observations#astro notes#astrology#synastry#uranus 10h synastry#mars 8h synastry#mars 8th house synastry#uranus 10th house synastry#sun 2h synastry#north node 2h synastry#synastry notes#synastry observations#astrology community#astrology observations#pluto 7h synastry#pluto 7th house synastry#venus 1h synastry#moon 1h synastry#mars 1h synastry#synastry astrology#astro
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i need geto to grab my chin, stroke my cheek with his thumb, then spit in my mouth. maintaining eye contact the whole time? ugh. he’d de say “good girl”
ST☆RGIRL
a/n: yuuuum anon u guys r giving me the best ideas. also combining this with the geto in the brother’s bsf universe bc a lot of u have been asking for pt. 2, altho asking for a part two is pretty annoying. but i wanted to do a second one anyway lol. i made our brother gay btw + read the first part here / tagging @omgeto @papersirens @crysugu @getousex @slttygeto @kazushawty @peachsayshi
wc: 3.7k
warnings: secret relationship(?), soft dom!geto, reader is not a virgin but it’s her first time with geto, you almost get caught but it’s mild, dry humping / grinding, nipple play, spitting (in your mouth), praise, clit stimulation, oral / cunnilingus, unprotected sex, creampie / breeding kink, n*sfw under the cut
sneaking around your brother wasn’t exactly easy, given how they were almost always together by the day — if you didn’t know better, you’d think they were dating instead. the only time you had geto to yourself was in the middle of the week when your brother had gone back to pack more things and to visit his boyfriend, a sure time that you’d show up beaming and excited in front of their double dorm room while geto only gives you a lazy smile, tugging you into the room immediately.
sometimes it was the other way when your roommate went home for the weekend, geto knocking on your door in a wife beater and sweats, a small grin and reddened cheeks from running over; the prospect of hanging out with you always gets him speeding over.
his room was for wednesdays, yours for the weekend. a sweet little arrangement for the both of you.
now, geto suguru was the best boyfriend. he made sure you were always okay with his touches, his kisses. he had a silent way of caring, covering the top of your head when you reached down to pick up something under the table, refilling the trusty mug of water you brought around in the small dorm of yours, tidying up your table for the immense studying you’d be doing. it was the little things that you never noticed before you got addicted to him, but now it’s all you can think about when you gush about him to your friends.
and well, maybe, how good he was at teasing you.
no doubt suguru has had experience with other people before from how he always has you wanting more after a simple kiss, lips separating from yours to shoot you a quick smile and a gesture of manoeuvring you onto his lap. his touches are never-ending, rough, large hands spanning the beauty of your body as he names off feature after feature he’s noticed mature since you’ve both grown into adults. he makes the idea of wearing clothes abolutely offensive, grinding up into your centre and watching you fall apart, only to stop when he feels your hands tighten around his shirt.
geto knows you’re not ready, not when you’re doing some pulling away of your own as his hands creep towards your chest, fingers closing around his wrist before he can reach the buttons of your pants. all you can give him is a flustered smile, stuttering out an excuse with frantic hands. he just lets you — swallowing your apologies and tugs you into his embrace and talks about the newest tattoo he got instead — “we can just kiss and grind, baby. you tell me when you want to stop, okay?”
although you never do, makeout sessions always end with your hair in all places, your panties soaked and your lips swollen, not a single line crossed on geto’s side every time. it was an endearing trait of his; he never rushed you, never pressured you into “helping” him out, rather excusing himself to the bathroom quietly.
a smile spreads across your face when your phone lights up, the little profile picture of a sleeping suguru taking centre stage of your phone.
[11:43am, suguru (the bsf and now my BOYF???)]: hey baby, he just left. u wanna come over?
geto doesn’t even need to ask, because you’re already picking up your pre-packed bag and bid goodbye to your roommate who’s deep in her assignment, not noticing you’re gone until she’s shooting you a text after, asking you if you wanted anything for dinner. eating at the boyfriend’s place, no worries! thanks for asking :)
you’ve reached the other block in record time, amongst other many impressive timings, but while you’ve pressed the lift button and trying to catch your breath, the wind is knocked out of you again when the lift doors part and out comes your brother. you’ve never been so quick to come over before, avoiding situations just like this, but your sibling isn’t phased, simply shooting you a greeting.
“hanging with suguru?”
your breath is shaky when you exhale and you hope he doesn’t notice. “yea— yeah!”
his smile is unassuming, a hand outstretched and you barely make his high-five before he bids you goodbye with too loud of a goodbye, keeping up the clueless act until you’re stopping right in front of their door. your boyfriend doesn’t give you time to breathe, either, door swinging open to your dishevelled state and his chuckle would’ve almost buckled your knees if not for the adrenaline running through you.
“i just saw my brother in the elevator — are you insane?”
geto feigns a pout, “not even a kiss for the boyfriend?”
you roll your eyes with a smile and grab the neckline of his t-shirt, but what he says (“well, you’re the one who came running over, sweetheart.”) prompts you to grunt, shoving him away before you collapse face first into the sheets. they smell like you, you notice, but they’re mostly filled with geto’s natural scent, a calming combination of cinnamon and bergamot. there’s goosebumps on the back of your thighs — suguru runs his hand over it and up to your waist, flipping you onto your side and he coos at your annoyed face, settling into the bed with you.
“okay, no more teasing, hm?” he asks softly and you ignore the jump into your heart. you ignore how his tattoo covered arms are so gentle next to you, how his rougher finger tips brush your hair away like bees on a flower; almost ghost-like, so light, so soft, but you can’t. against your will, you huff, taking his hand silently and holding it, a small frown still present on your face and geto feels bad, now. he leans forward, taking your lips gently and you hate the way how pliantly you obey, sighing as you feel geto move against you.
your hand clutches at the pendant geto bought, a habit you’ve developed every time you feel overwhelmed. it was ironic, too, how the many times you’ve thumbed it was because of geto, and not so much of stressful exams or a weird guy at a party, but that thought’s out the window when geto pulls you onto him, moaning into your mouth when your thighs close in around him.
“you’re okay today, princess?” geto asks against your lips, and there’s no doubt lust swirling in the honey eyes of his — they’re the brightest always in the morning.
“i wanna—” you swallow, “try,” you sit up more comfortably, ignoring the tug in your core, “i don’t want to keep you waiting.”
geto’s brows furrow, “what? no— baby, you’re not making me ‘wait’, if anything i should be the one waiting for you.”
your hands are tense on his chest, he notices, bringing one to his lips before he places a kiss on your palm.
“you shouldn’t be compromising on your comfort to please me, my love,” geto mumbles into your hand, starting to kiss each finger individually until you’re closing your hand around his cheek.
“you’re so pretty,” you mutter softly and you’re jumping in celebrating in your heart when you can feel his skin heat up because your words affect him as much as it did you. you’re leaping for joy because how did you land such a caring lover that would put all your needs first? who’d tell you that you come first in everything—
geto suguru makes this so difficult always, but you’re already firm in your resolution, giving him a solid yes before a small smile spreads across his face, making the act of pulling you down by that same hand. you’re inches away, mind spiralling with how many positions he could put you in but—
there’s a jiggle of the knob on the door and you’re suddenly recoiling.
“are you expecting anyone?”
your boyfriend quickly shakes his head, but he brings you off his lap gently, setting you a safe distance from him. he arranges your hair in place and patting down the wrinkles on your shirt as the other person struggles to open the door and as always, he’s worrying about you, first — until that familiar, booming voice of your brother cuts through the tension and your disappointment is unmatched.
“hey guys!”
geto wanted to roll his eyes, as with you, but your oblivious brother doesn’t take much note of why your chests were heaving and your skin is sweaty, rather setting down his bags full of dirty laundry and the cute anniversary present he was ranting to you about — it felt like your work was undone, reversed, and you’re back to feeling intimidated, no doubt the presence of your brother making you feel like you were doing something sinful.
“so! wait, why do you look so—”
“oh, it’s nothin’, she’s just nervous for her upcoming exam,” geto answers almost immediately, removing the attention from you; it wasn’t entirely false, you realise, giving him a secret smile. “you were saying?”
“oh! yes, so, turns out…”
it’s nearing to the fifteen minute mark where your brother still continues to talk, rambling on about how his boyfriend’s moving date had been moved forward insread, so it was halfway throughout his journey that he got a text saying how it might be too chaotic for them to hang out — boxers, movers, the family dog barking at every stranger.
that heart-twisting, anticipating feeling had subsided by then, and while it was never a dull moment with the two of them, you left that dorm room feeling a little dissatisfied.
“i’m sorry, baby,” geto whispers to you later as your brother takes the chance to pee. he’d volunteer to send you back but the both of you didn’t want to risk anything more.
“next week?” geto asks, a hand to your cheek, “but of course, if you don’t feel it next week either that’s f—”
you give him a small grin, fingers covering his own shaking ones in comfort, “next week.” his lips barely leave your forehead in a peck before the toilet flushes and the door opens; geto teases your brother about not washing his hands and the two bicker just like years ago: hands flying everywhere and your giggles cutting through every insult they hurl at each other.
you can hear geto’s chuckle when you show up the next week, looking like you just ran a marathon again. this time you have no trouble avoiding your brother by hiding behind the wall beside the lift, though you hardly have any time for your boyfriend’s teasing laughter.
closing the door with your feet, you’re walking geto back into the room and his eyebrows raise at your determined face.
“are you sure you’re okay—”
without warning you’re clashing your lips into his, hands on his pecs and mewling softly when his arms naturally wrap around your middle.
“more than—” there’s a dramatic sigh when you feel hands caress your back, “okay.”
you’re just too enamoured with geto to carry on with your once self-assured actions, because you’re always like putty whenever you’re in his embrace. it happens without fail every time.
“you make me feel so,” swallowing, your eyes break contact and your head collides with his broad chest, “insane. you drive me crazy.”
you don’t miss how he winces a little, but soon he’s bringing your head off of him, biting his lip at your cute pouting face, possibly not knowing how even more obsessed he was with you.
a simple text from you has got his palms sweaty, and he goes through at least three drafted messages first before sending something, afraid he’d push over your boundaries or do something you won’t like. geto loves your smile, seeing your cheeks reach your eyes until there’s no more from a joke he made because you were talking about the cute little tattoo his little sister made him get. there wasn’t an end to suguru’s love for you; to see you, to feel you be so flustered and sheepish because of him drives him crazy — did you see the effect you had on him?
you simultaneously ruined and changed the definition of love for him; he’d never have anyone else.
you’re taken aback when geto tugs off his shirt and sitting right in the centre of his sternum is a woodcut tattoo of a halved sun, looking entirely contrasting with the traditional dragon that runs over his body and other ink-heavy pieces littered across his body. this was like a collection of ever-flowing lines that seem to bleed despite the bold lines that signify the end of the sun, it was you. your fingers trace over the tattoo under the protective film, your gasp prominent when there’s a small “to my sun” below it, paired with your initials — ambiguous enough if you were to break up, but geto hoped that would never be the case.
“got this for you last week,” suguru takes your wandering hand into his, words and actions gentle while he kisses the back of your hand, he laughs into your skin, “hurt like crap, i’m not gonna lie.”
“sugu—” your eyebrows are downturned just like your smile, “this is so pretty.” you’re in awe that he’d get something permanent for you, no doubt with such a cheesy line under the beautiful drawing.
“you’re so pretty.” geto smiles when you smile with a roll of your eyes, and you let him bring you into another kiss, softer this time as you let him lead, pulling you to his lap easily.
anyone who looked at the two of you could see the instant difference: geto with his inked arms and room oozing with posters and the gruff nature of him, and you with your bashfulness and sweet smiles and while geto is bound to be noticed first, he would rather sit in the shadows as your moon as he lets you charm everyone you come across. you’re just like that.
geto treats your body like glass, removing your top off of you gently as his hands span your torso and he sighs when he sees you aren’t wearing a bra. “look at you…” and you’re giggling, drawing a smile from the other. slowly he looks to you for reassurance and you nod, prompting him to wrap a careful mouth around your nipple. your boyfriend moans when he feels you jerk at the contact, tongue swirling around your mound as he plays with the other and that’s all it takes for your fingers to tense around his shoulder.
“f— fuck, sweetheart,” you hear him groan into your chest, moving to other nipple and suckling on it, eyes closed in bliss while your head falls back, “you’re so perfect, my love.”
“am i, now?” you mumble breathlessly, “you should look at who’s talking.”
geto nods, coming off of your tits with a pop! and the grin he gives you is shit-eating, “yeah, so goddamn perfect.”
you’re impatient now, especially when you’re in full perception, body on display just for your lover to see, and your hips move slowly whilst your skin feels like liquid fire.
“need you, suguru,” it’s a soft whine that comes out of you, and geto moans at your neediness and the rock of your pelvis because he can practically feel your cunt clench around nothing and your clit throbbing, and while you’re both no stranger to this, the idea of going further than whatever you’re used to makes geto dizzy.
“yeah— i know, baby,” you’re on your back after, gulping when you’re finally left with nothing on your body, shorts and panties taken off and the glory of your body is like oxygen to him, “i need you too.”
gently, suguru pries your legs apart and he’s hooked on your wetness, the beauty of your labia and hole, leaking so much slick his breath is shaky when he exhales. the first contact with your clit is feather-like, and it’s all he does before he leaps in and eats like a starved man. the sensations are too much that your thighs are pulled taut, feeling the flat of his tongue draw a line up your pussy.
geto slurps at your arousal, putting pressure in his mouth and sucks like his life depended on it and your sounds are music to his ears. he groans when he feels your hands pull at his hair, tugging away or towards your pussy even he didn’t know but he relishes in how he’s able to make you feel like this.
“su— suguru, s-shit! your mouth’s—” you can basically hear the smile in between the messy eating of your boyfriend, emerging from your plush thighs for a moment to show you just how soaked the bottom of his face was.
“it’s what?”
you tsk at his teasing and you shove him back, ignoring the way his chuckles send chills up your body through your core, but geto is merciful, humming and moving his face against your cunt. his tongue is relentless as well, making you so pliant with just one muscle as he flicks it against your puffy clit. it’s when your entrance starts to clench around air is when he thinks you’re going to cum.
and he stops — your whines are so cute to him.
“what’s your deal, suguru?” your frown’s adorable too, but he makes it up to you with a sweet kiss and lets you taste yourself.
“want you to cum around my cock, baby. you can do that, can’t you?”
yes, geto felt like he wanted to combust. yes, geto felt like he needed a thousand and one photos to capture how angelic you looked right, but with how he’s talking right now, you only can look up at him with excitement despite not knowing the torture you were putting him through.
and so when he first nudges his tip past your hole, that facade drops entirely, eyes fluttering close at the tightness of your cunt and the spread of your pussy lips upon his dick. you were by no means a virgin, although you disclosed that it was a shitty first time when you first lost it, but the way you feel around his cock, closing in around him you both have had to take breaths together.
“so tight…” geto’s close to bottoming out, memorising how he made you fall apart so easily: your hands clutching tightly on his wrists, making your tits pop out more, the flutter of your pussy, your cute lil mouth stretching into a delicious ��o’. “and so pretty, just like that.”
you hum at the praise and once he’s buried, your little pants become more frequent, leaving puffs of air on his cheek.
“move?”
“are you seriously asking me that right n— oh shit…”
geto unsheathes and slams into you, and he can feel the drag of your walls along his length. a small laugh leaves him, “just takin’ care of m’pretty girl.”
he’s only had your dripping pussy once and yet he already can’t get enough of it, starting to move his hips as he impales you on his cock. it’s the only thing your mind can focus on, feeling so full and filled with him that it hazes your brain and hypnotises you almost.
“su— ohmy g-god!”
geto’s hands tighten around your thighs at that and the thrusts get sloppy so fast, rutting into you with no end goal in mind other than to feel your tight hole around his length. your lover’s eyes fall to the way his cock slips into you and you take it so well — there’s no other pussy he’d want to feel around him, truly — you take the ram of his hips so good and the gushing of your cunt is answer enough for him.
your hands grab for him, fingers fumbling with his forearms to bring him to your lips. the kiss is filled with drool, tongues slamming into each other as his hips stutter and jolt at the clamp of your pussy, and when he pulls away there’s a string of saliva connecting your lips to his.
you’ve talked about it before and it’s like he reads your mind before anything even begins; his hand grabs at your chin, so lovingly and different from how disgustingly rough he was slamming into you. his thumb goes over your supple skin, and he doesn’t need much to pry your mouth open but—
“open.” and your tongue comes out like second nature and you try not to show your excitement when geto gathers saliva, spitting the ball of liquid straight into your mouth. it hits your tongue hot. his honey eyes are darker now as he watches how obediently you swallow — he swears he can see hearts in your eyes.
“good girl.” geto smiles again, propping your legs up against your chest now in a mating press and you whine in surprise. the position gives him access to the deepest parts of you, and one hand sneakily rubs at your clit in time with his faltering thrusts and you’re cumming with a cry of his name.
“suguru— yes, yes! f-fuck— right there, baby,” you’re sobbing, seeing splotches of white in your vision as your high seem to overtake your senses. it hits you in all the right spots, giving geto his little gift of cumming around him and multiplying it tenfold by how your cum seeps into the sheets. it’s so much that all he can hear is the lewd squelch of your cunt and one more moan is enough for geto to groan into your neck.
“going to give you my cum, darling,” your “yes’” resonate in his ear and it spurs him on to finally cum, shooting his load deep into your womb and filling you with so much hotness. it’s too much but you love it and geto hisses at how your juices and his semen seem to seep out, “that’s a good fuckin’ girl.”
there’s a sly little grin when he lets down your legs gently and you’ve grasped at your pendant so hard it’s detached, and he quells all your doubts with a single kiss and the sun on his chest.
“i’ll just get you a new one, baby. you deserve that much.”
why did i write sm....
#anon#asks#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk geto#geto smut#geto x reader#geto suguru x reader#geto suguru smut#suguru geto x reader#getou suguru smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk thirsts#jjk drabbles#jujutsu kaisen geto#geto suguru
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can you pleeeeease post your dm sexuality/gender hcs on here.... 🥺 i don't have a twitter but i wanna know. it's like a pandora's box to me now i'm like scratching at the door. let me in
heres the link 2 the thread (mild spoilers btw) ill post a transcript under the cut for ppl who dont have twitter
first off i think laios relationship to sex is super removed for like 50 reasons without even getting into his actual sexuality
he grew up in a place with very repressed ideas about sex and has a lot of fear about asserting his presence in situations
his special interest takes precedent over any social interactions he has and the level of closeness he feels towards people
he has a hard time figuring out his feelings towards other people both bc hes autistic and bc he has freaky deviantart fetishes that make sex in his mind a very abstract concept <- this one is me projecting mostly
that aside, i feel like gender-wise hes attracted to ppl so infrequently it may as well be entirely case-by-case
the idea of him being gay appeals to me from the 'raised with traditional values he Does Not fit into/hasnt begun to question it yet' perspective, i lauve characters who put a lot of stock into performing a role thats expected of them and fail miserably for unknown (gay) reasons
from his perspective tho i dont think he would ever really label himself anything. hes going to pride parades in the shirt+shorts Ally Fit to clap for his friends
hes also 'cis by indifference' imo... i love tmasc laios hcs it just doesnt mesh w his personal history to me. i do think hes got some kind of therian gender thing going on (not trans or nb but a secret third thing) but i cant see him changing anything abt his appearance/pronouns to accommodate that post-canon. hes just doin his thang
falin is in a similar boat for gender. i LOOVE tfem falin but the village repression thing has been bugging at me so i dont think i subscribe to it anymore (canon purist sorry) BUT if u hold that hc i am clapping and cheering regardless
instead i was propagandised to a while back and i LOVEEE the idea that being fused w a male dragon and the residual traits she has after being revived have given her a type of gender euphoria she didnt realise she was missing. a little boygirl swagger if u will
sexuality-wise i also dont think she would care to label herself, shes a lesbian by virtue of only being interested in One woman and zero other people. without marcille i do think shes still exclusively attracted to women, and i like to imagine she might experiment around a bit during her travels post-canon (pre-relationship). hearing abt it might put marcille on the news though
marcille is very simple That is a transfem lesbian. she cant get pregnant, shes obsessed w being femme and all that combined w her half-tallman struggles to be seen as 'properly feminine' by elf standards reads very transfeminine to Me. also her bookboy crush REEKS of comphet its not subtle
i think a more comfortable marcy might have the space to experiment w being elf butch like her manga boys but thats mainly self indulgence for me. utena could have saved her
senshi is gay his whole thing is abt not being able to perform dwarven masculinity to a proper standard (soft hearted, not as strong or rugged as his peers) which is like gaycoding 101. also hes a bear. homosexuality be damned by boy can work a grill
adding onto this i rly think senshi got some type of euphoria from being an elf in the changeling chapters. he was feeling himself so much i think he was using it as an outlet to have fun being a little fem and fruity without needing to justify it. do u understand
i dont have any particular opinions abt him gender-wise beyond that. his bulge is an essential part of his character design but i also saw a transmasc senshi a couple days ago that made me nod my head thoughtfully so i could go either way
chilchuck is cis and bisexual this is just canon. not even just his old man crush on senshi altho i do think thats very funny but they put his ass on a cover themed like hes in a dating sim with all the men and women in the cast and then slapped it in front of a chapter called "bicorn". i simply cant pass up that kind of overt signaling. its so fucking funny what else is there to say truly
izu to ME is a transmasc aroace lesbian (this one has the least basis in canon i just know it to be true) shes a little genderfluid with it nd uses he/she i think. i like to imagine she consistently uses masculine personal pronouns to refer to herself either way tho (boku, ore)
i think izutsumis gender/sexuality is entirely secondary in priorities to her body dysphoria. she has a lot of learning and acceptance 2 do before that kind of self discovery is on the docket and in my mind eschewing gender on some level is part of that. get sillay
shuro is cishet but at least he feels bad about it. next listen listen to me i dont think he would ever actually examine this but i need u to put on ur tin foil hat with me for one second. i think estrogen could have saved her. i have more thoughts on this but im not gonna propagandise too much on this post just know that im right
kabru is a transmasc bisexual this is also practically text. his whole thing of being treated like a doll by milsiril to put in pretty dresses, plus i think it would be pretty easy for him to stealth in the west since tallmen are seen as inherently more masculine than elves
(i also think changing genders is just more common for elves. theyre androgynous enough that it wouldnt be hard and like who in their right miiiiind would be the same gender for 500 years. dwarves too)
i think he started presenting as male socially in the west but didnt need to consider medical transition until he moved to a more mixed culture where other races might see him as a woman
i dont have to explain the bisexual part. have u seen him
namari is a butch bisexual this is just canon straight up. shes not transmasc but i think the default settings for dwarven women is like 4 years of T regardless. shes a hit at all the local cruising spots despite her renfaire nerdisms i know this
and just bc im thinking abt em kiki and kaka are identical and kiki is tfem :} theyre both attracted to women but kaka is a sub so i forgive him
THATS ALL 4 NOW theres a lot of characters so i cant have thoughts abt all of them at once but i hope this was good. im right about everything forever as per usual
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That chart of your GW2 ocs has compelled me so much. what is gw2. how do you make gay plants in it
guild wars 2 is my favorite mmo of all time! it's free to play, tho if u ever do end up paying for the expacs/living world seasons and stuff they all have flat costs, no monthly subscription ever. (this is what i really like about it, bc games w subs stress me out... if something has a sub and i don't play every day i feel like i'm wasting money or something lol vs gw i can fall off the wagon for weeks/months and no harm done)
ANYWAY our gay plants are one of the playable races -- they're kind of gw2's version of elves, loosely, but they're called sylvari and imo they're much cooler. rather than being "born" they just Wake Up as fully formed adults from the pods of a magical tree and gain mmmmost (but not all) of their consciousness/general understanding of the world from a shared dream that contains the memories and life experience of the sylvari who have come before them, and at the beginning of the plot sylvari as a people have only existed for like. ~20 years, which i think is a really, really compelling hook. also i'm being serious and textual abt the gay thing, arguably the most central sylvari npc is a lesbian and her relationship w her ex is plot important, one of the starter missions u can choose as a sylvari centers around helping a gay couple and the dialogue is Really Insistent abt not letting it be interpreted as "wow they're good friends!!" etc etc
there's also an Evil Faction of sylvari called the nightmare court who feel the dream is overly controlling/sanitized and want to "liberate" sylvari by balancing out the experiences contained in the dream w more negative and painful ones instead -- in-game more often than not they're written pretty flatly as cackling puppy-kicking supervillains but i think they're really interesting lol, a huge chunk of my + marina's ocs are either current or ex nightmare courtiers (including merrit and glyndwr!)
okay wait wait wait im getting distracted and infodumping u can learn all this stuff yourself by getting into the game. gotta rein it in. uhhh let me leave u w screencaps of a bunch of our ocs so u can see some character creation options bc they're so cool
also hey furries: fuicking excellent beast race with close to no sexual dimorphism.
(the one on the left in this pic is an m model and on the right is the f model. the main difference between charr gender models, literally, is how fluffy their tails are. charr fucking rule)
#gw2#play gw2. play gw2. play gw2. [grabbigng your shoulders and looking directly into your eyes] Play GW2
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I’m finally home from a trip.. what if hear me out.. nsfw alphabet for my favorite bgs either Kid, Killer, or of course Barto
-Tulipp 🌷🌷🌷
(acc still doesn’t work)
I DID IT AND I STARTED IT BEFORE U EVEN ASKED BECAUSE YOU MADE ME THINK ABOUT KID AND KILLER RELIGIOUSLY
also evryone istg im alive ive just been violently sick WAAAAHHH
anw here you go braincell sharer Kid and Killer nsfw alphabet
@tulipp-again
A: Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
Kid tries his damn hardest to at least clean you up but usually hes conked out within 3 minutes
Killer on the other hand is a trooper. He will run you a bath, get you water, a snack, anything you could ever think of he does. Hes so sweet about everything
B: Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
I think we all agree that Kid is an ass man. he loves to grope it, bite it and smack it
Kid likes his arms and hands with how strong they arms. He loves how he can easily bend you over anything and fuck you from behind
Killer likes your collar bones with how easy he can bite them and leave a mark
On him Killer also likes his arms with how easy he can carry you around if needed
C: Cum (Anything to do with cum)
Kid cums A LOT okay? its thick and fills you up so much. He loves to cum on your face the most
Killer’s is also thick but he doesnt shoot as much as Kid. He especially loves to cum all over your stomach
D: Dirty Secret
Kid really doesnt have any secrets, if he wants something hes going to announce it
Killer really wants you to top him. He sees how snappy and mean you get with Kid when you are bickering and he wants you to do that to him. he just doesnt know how to ask
E: Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
Kid slept around a lot when he was younger while trying to deny he was gay for Killer but he eventually got over his ego and just went for it. When you joined the relationship you often called Kid a slut for being so skilled
Killer didn’t have any experience outside of you and Kid but he sure knows how to make you feel good
F: Favorite Position
ANYTHING WITH YOUR ASS POINTED TOWARDS KID! Kid really likes your ass and never hesitates to let you know how much he loves it
Killer loves to hold you close so he usually has you in his lap with your back against his chest
G: Goofy (Are they more serious at the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)
They both agree that Sex is serious and shouldn’t be taken as a joke
H: Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
Kid either doesnt know what grooming is or he really doesnt care. hes untrimmed and yes the carpet does indeed match the drapes
Killer really doesnt care either but he does trim a little bit. he will do more if you really want him to
I: Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
Kid tries but just know degrading is his love language. He does kiss you a lot but its usually rough and sloppy
Killer is way more romantic than Kid in everyway. He constantly tells you how good youre doing and checking up on you. he whispers a lot of praise and ‘i love you’s at least 90% of the time
J: Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
Kid is a big man with a big sex drive. so much so he has to rub one out a lot if youre “to busy” or “not feeling it” (even though he has literally drug you away from your work several times before
Killer isnt much into having to Jack off unless hes really desperate but most of the time he just holds out
K: Kinks (One or more of their kinks)
Kid loves spanking you. hes an ass man, you got a nice ass its just common sense according to him.
Killer loves hair pulling. Theres just something about the extra pain that is slowly soothed when you rub his scalp that just adds the cherry on top for him.
L: Location (Favorite places to do the do)
Kid will do it anywhere he doesnt care he doesnt have any shame but you do so you convince him to do it in at least a semi public location which isnt much better but youll take it.
Killer likes it anywhere in private since he is more of a private person himself
M: Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
Kid is turned on by literally anything you do. all that anger quickly gets turned to horny when you or Killer walk into the picture
Killer gets turned on most when you kiss his neck it ear
N: No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
they both wouldnt do anything that would seriously hurt you other than that theyre pretty open to trying whatever
O: Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Kid Prefers to receive hes a little whore who only thinks abt himself
Killer doesnt mind giving or receiving as long as youre happy
P: Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)
Kid is Fast and ROUGH and its not hard to believe at all
Killer also likes to be fast and rough but still takes it easy on you
Q: Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
Kid will take it if thats all he can get but prefers to take his time fucking you brain dead
Killer isnt fond of them but if you need it then he’ll do it for you
R: Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
Kid is all about risks because he runs on that type of adrenaline
Killer also isnt too opposed but likes to play it safer
S: Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
Kid can last up to 5 maximum before telling you to fuck off and then falling asleep
Killer can go as many as you want, he’ll stir up as much energy as needed to make you happy
T: Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
i wouldnt think so but if yall do have any toys its made from Kid himself
U: Unfair (How much they like to tease)
Kid is a GOD at teasing, he loves to be in control and to tease you until are crying for him
Killer also loves to tease even more so than Kid, you would never expect
V: Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
Kid is loud, he doesnt shut up, he groans and growls, mf laughs when he degrades you shut shut up man
Killer not loud he just lets out a few grunts and small moans
W: Wild Card (Random headcanon)
Killer is the only one who has ever topped Kid
X: X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)
Kid is rlly thick and girthy. like oh my god you gonna need a few minutes to stretch out around him
Killer isnt as thick but he is long omg
Y: Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
Kid is up ready to go at any given moment all that pent up anger gotta go somewhere
Killer isnt as hyper sexual as Kid but he still enjoys it at least 3-4 times a week
Z: ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Immediately after for Kid, like bro will nut and then you hear his loud ass snoring
Killer doesnt fall asleep as fast as Kid mainly cause he needs to calm down first and catch his breath. he also loves to clean everyone up so yall not sleeping all dirty
#x reader#one piece#one piece x reader#one piece x gn reader#kid x reader x killer#killer x reader#eustass kid x reader#kid one piece#killer one piece
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i would adore ur ted ideas he is so interesting 2 me!!!!!!
ask and you shall receive!!!!
ted. teddigan. theodoreigan my boy. i have so many mixed feelings about u💔
this drawing was a pain in the ASS to make for some reason?? my first go at him was way too close to canon for my liking so i threw myself out there n got to a place i liked thankfully, plus halfway through i forgot how to draw hands and almost cried (joking) cause i thought i had them down at this point!!!!— but trust me, even if you have 9 years of art experience (like me unfortunately. someone take me out i’ve had a good life) ur gonna forget the basics sometimes. warm yourself up and try again cause i did and i eventually remembered 😭😭😭
doing these character studies and drawings have seriously improved my way and process of drawing faces which is so nice 🥲 i think i just need to start looking at the bigger picture again so i don’t forget how to draw everything else. like hands. or full bodies. foreshadowing ;)
i wanted my ted to look just a wee bit unsettling because my general consensus of him is that he is totally fucked in the head, lmfao. born a nepotism baby who ended up scamming people more for fun than for actual cash, horribly sexist but dependent on women to validate him, paranoid as all get out, selfish and self centered as all get out, just his canon personality’s all in one and turned up a notch. 🥲
i don’t think he’s totally beyond redemption, especially because he’s been cooped up with ellen, who is a highly decorated in the engineering field black woman, benny who’s gay and gorr “FREEDOM FIGHTIN’ LIBERAL🇺🇸🦅🦅🔥🔥” ister for 109 years. in that time he’s definitely slipped up and they’ve definitely corrected him (along with nimdok too LOL). i think with some intensive therapy, a shower and a trip to the tolerance museum (south park reference) he’ll be a little better.
i’m a mild ted/AM shipper (as seen in the bottom right hand corner) but more in the “ooohehheh they’re flirting!!… oh no. oh this is not going to end well. this is definitely a toxic relationship” way and less the “awh cute maybe they can have mutual redemption arcs!!!” way because i love seeing gay men suffer romantically (don’t cancel me i am a bisexual man suffering romantically i swear😭)
i’m not too partial to any other ships honestly, ted/ellen makes me nauseous (just cause of the way ted talks about/treats her in the franchise, no hate to my tellen shippers i promise) and i can only see gorrister with his wife 🥲 with benny and nimdok i have no clue if either of them rlly have romantic interests but im not a fan of them with anybody so erm… i do love the whole groups found family vibes though :”””] they’re all cute together and the mutual suffering but all the while growth is comforting to me
i think that’s about all my thoughts!!! another thank you for the support on this blog recently i love yall sm. i’ll eventually post on my transformers blog but i am STILL SCARED because robots are hard to draw. stay tuned for it though. 💀
thank you for reading if you did!!! let me know which of the guys yall want me to do next; benny, AM and nimdok are left on the chopping block. ❤️
#ted ihnmaims#ihnmaims#IHNMAIMS fanart#technically these guys are in here so i’ll tag them too#gorrister ihnmaims#nimdok ihnmaims#benny ihnmaims#ellen ihnmaims#am ihnmaims#digital art
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