#typing this was kind of a struggle bc like one i have not talked abt my om!/barb fixation in a minute & 2 i got too giddy rereading LMFAOOO

[bl00dw1tch]

the way i have absolutely no business being the way i am

[hunniedmilk]

Thank you so much for your tags ;; it's been fucking forever a minute since I posted anything. so if you wish, this is absolutely a request for some word vomit. and if you don't want to get into it, it's a heartfelt 'ehehe the tags are very nice, thank you' to keep your ask box warm

walks in with a book with like fifteen different annotation stickies I’m so ready pls bear with me if I sound incoherent .. have no clue if this'll be a lot but i'm going 2 put read more just in case ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

i could probably comment on literally every sentence like no exaggeration but i'm like containing the silliness as much as i can as to sound coherent so i just wanna point out small parts i really really like ^^

“Yet there’s a smile that glitters in the corner of his eyes, and as he steps down onto the pebbles he offers you a gloved hand.”

GHJHKL It just makes me explode ,,, I enjoy descriptions of understanding without a character having to verbally express it . It kills me every time regardless because it feels like you can understand the amount of trust between the two characters in the scene . Like in general , it could be an action that can appear like such a small , insignificant detail but you can tell that it means so much more than that and I just adore it so so much ???

“The butler simply… couldn’t let you go just yet. There’s a shimmer of gold in his eyes, a little greed shining through when he thinks of parting from your company.”

Bangs my head against the wall I ALWAYYYS REALLY LOVE IT WHEN PPL MAKE A SLIGHT REMARK ABOUT BARBATOS AND GREED IT’S JUST SOOOOO<333333 IT GETS ME SO EXCITED BECAUSE I START REMEMBERING LIKE THE SMALL REMARKS IN GAME ABOUT HIM RESTRAINING HIS GREED ETC AND HIS CHARACTER SONG . It’s just like so fun seeing different sides of characters expressed it’s just like AHHHH but I digress

The entire scene feels like it’s a moment that’s quiet and reserved away from other people but between the two characters it’s such a loud expression of emotions ,, especially because of Barbatos and how he is as a character too ?? ☆ｏ(＞＜；)○ 

I’m a bit new to the fandom so please bear with me a bit with explanations but I’ve read him as like a character that’s detached from personhood as a result of his profession and when there are moments when he clearly wants to pursue something he holds himself back from indulging into his greed but when it comes to MC he allows himself to finally take . To allow himself to enjoy their presence when they’re finally alone and able to …

SIDENOTE BUT ESPECIALLY SO BC OF HOOOW HARD THE OTHER CAST OF CHARACTERS GET SIDELINED HARD IN GENERAL SOMETIMES ,,, LIKE IN BARBS LATEST BIRTHDAY UR HOW DO U LITERALLY GET DOOMED BY THE NARRATIVE IN UR OWN DREAM.. BUT THAAAT’S LIKE AN ENTIRE RAMBLE I’VE HAD FOR A MINUTE AND THAT’S BESIDES THE POINT )))

“Of everyone, he knows keenly how precious your time is.”

Im literally vibrating off the walls rn I cant describe it any better than that and especially the next sentences that follow it ohhhg idk if it literally wasn’t late as hell rn I’d def just print this out n’ scribble a bunch of hearts on this like omg 

____

THE ENDING … I am literally pacing I don’t usually enjoy angst all that much and try to avoid it altogether but the way you wrote it I’m like a little crazy actually. like a little bit insane. A humans existence is such a fleeting moment to a demon and it’s like AAAA YOU JUST LIKE FEEL THE TENSION FROM THE PREVIOUS SCENES THEN THE WARMTH FROM THE ENDING IT’S JUST LIKE A BITTERSWEET ?? FEELING THAT MAKES IT SO ENJOYABLE AND IT’S SUCH AN INSTILLING FEELING THAT’S LIKE SOOOO BEAUTIFUL ?? HIM HOLDING THE AIR ??? I sound so insane I just really really get excited when I read that it’s such an infectious feeling but that’s what your writing feels like. I’m not the best at English so I’m hoping this comes off well enough but I feel like the idea of living on in another persons memory despite all the years to come, especially with a demons lifespan IT JUST FEELS SOOO /pos

This is going to sound absolutely cornball cheesy but ur writing style , and I haven’t checked out ur other works yet but , from this alone it reminds me of a nice sweet . Personally I’m thinking of a Mexican dessert as I’m Mexican myself and I enjoy food analogies as compliments but the way you describe your scenes feels like taking a bite out of a concha (insane person rambling but please stick with me) . it’s such a sweet feeling that like , you don’t really forget the first time you experience it ?? I know I’m def going to be giggling abt ur writing for like a fat week honestly . i could probably reread it more than I already have while typing this and still find things to comment on even if it's just a keysmash

idk idk just the way you present scenarios stick so nicely ? It’s just something so handcrafted with love that I can tell that you enjoy what u write ?? I don’t know :,)

IF LIKE ANY OF THIS DOESN’T RLLY SOUND RIGHT LIKE , CHARACTER DESCS ESP OF BARB ive been in this fandom for like not super long so im still info-diving rlly slowly and its so difficult </3 I get so nervous posting stuff but like I wanna get this out of my system SOO bad

Plus I don’t think I could type out any of the info I do know about him in an orderly way lol I’ve tried for months but it ends in so many side tangents in rambles bc I just like his character so much 

I just think he’s such an interesting character y’know ??? There’s so many ways people can interpret a character and when you see other peoples ideas and some of them just HIT like getting all giddy thinking wow this is so cool ,,, I have to eat what I’m reading because there are no words in my lexicon to verbally express how much I love this 

[phagodyke]

aouuugh my uterus......

[reisbkg]

౨౿ random bf! bakugou katsuki headcanons ⸻ bakugou katsuki x gender neutral! reader

contains ! fluff

notes ! i miss bakugou y'all... (iykyk...)

compared to his behavior towards other people, bakugou is much more calm towards you. of course, there are still times where he'd be brash like his usual self

he acts like he doesn't care about what you're saying whenever you're yapping about random stuff, but one day he says something about what you mentioned to him 6 months ago - and you don't even remember that specific detail…

he'd tell you to shut up but doesn't really mean it so you keep going 😋

he will always ALWAYS know if you're struggling - whether it'd be in classes, in training, or with your quirk. he'd start helping you, no questions asked

never ever does pda. no pda for him. no kisses, hugs (a side hug would be acceptable i THINK), holding hands in public for him !!!! 🙅‍♀️ i personally think he prefers display of affection in private because it's intimateeee

i think he'd be the type of person who never tells you that he loves you (sucks for us words of affirmation girlies 😞) BUT he shows how much he loves you through his actions, and you just know he loves you and cares for you !! if you asked him if he loves you he'll just scowl at you and say that it's a dumb question D:

always trains with you and he never takes it easy on you — even if you're his s/o. no special treatment here. he just wants the best for you and for you to become a great hero !!!

if it isn't a school night, he'd stay up late with you ONLY until 9 or 10 pm bc he doesn't want to ruin his sleep schedule. both of you would have late night talks — he's talking softly with you and allows you to hold his hand 😣

i think he'd have a vv good fashion sense.. since his parents’ jobs involve fashion, he'd help you pick out nice outfits and so you always ask him about your clothes n stuff and his opinion abt it 😁

VERY dry texter. usually just leaves you on read. dry replies. doesn't greet you good morning or goodnight ("Gm" or "Gn" if he's feeling kind)

during dinner dates, when you buy something on the menu and say it's good he'd scoff and say "i can make shit better than this." 😟 AND HE ACTUALLY MAKES IT AND IT'S MUCH BETTER THAN THE ONE ON THE MENU

[enuui]

long thoughts abt watcher

its so weird to me that people are being like ‘you aren’t entitled to free content’ about the watcher situation bc that’s not the actual problem here. artists deserve to be fairly paid, but the watcher situation reveals a truly bizarre level of business incompetence and a lack of market research.

they actively cultivated a relatively young audience, actively claimed to be ‘eat the rich’ style liberals, then turned over and told that audience that they need to pay $6/month. which again, fine! dropout did it and survived, but dropout had so much more backing it up, went about the transition slowly, and on top of that, their audience was older and therefore had more spending money available.

watcher has none of that. it would be one thing if they had started marketing to an older audience months ago, or changed the style of their content to match the heavy production costs. but as it stands, they built their career off of relatively simple videos with a lower budget, gained a specific type of audience from those videos, then expected that audience to pivot with them when watcher realized they wanted to make a different type of (more expensive, more produced) content.

it can’t work that way. the audience is not acting entitled right now for feeling a shock, bc the audience became loyal to watcher due to a desire for a certain kind of content (specifically the dynamic between shane and ryan).

and if watcher wants to make different content and be paid for it on a more regular basis, that is also okay! but they severely miscalculated their existing audience, and definitely misunderstood how much their current audience wants to watch the style of videos they want to make.

also, imo, ryan and shane have admitted that they dislike the admin side of running a business. i think they truly thrived as regular content creators and not as business managers, and so they struggled to figure out how to run their company and ultimately handed over the reins to steven to wash their hands of it all and go back to making the content they want. and thats also fine, some people are not built for business and work better as individual contributors.

but ryan and shane and steven also seem to have a view that their simple content is almost… beneath them? they talk a lot abt challenging themselves to put out well produced content that their cultivated audience clearly doesn’t really care about. its a mismatch between watcher’s desires for the future and the audience they built in the past that ultimately led to this mess.

they had two options: easier option to make the type of low-budget content their audience has been proven to enjoy, or put in the work to build up an expanded audience so that they could fund the content they wanted to make, put in the work to do a longer, more well thought out transition, put in the work to make connections and figure out how to manage their revenue streams.

and instead they decided to take a shortcut and brute force their existing audience to fund their dreams, and in the process shooting themselves in the foot by alienating their audience. i just can’t comprehend how they reached this conclusion at all.

[hiphopcherrrypop]

pinterest fits 😱

reference pics under cut as well as me yapping

i somehow didnt realize til after finishing it i kind of gave jabashiri his normal outfit but inversed color lolz..... but anyways i can imagine like he would like looser pants but hates when they drag on the floor lol. so he either cuffs them or tucks them into his shoes is theyre too baggy

kept hagure in his hoodie and big shorts combo lol.. i was gonna say i cant picture him in pants but then i realized. wait he witewally wore pants last ep... oh well. not putting him in his cap was also an internal battle

i think zabu would wear pretty similar clothes to his school uniform tbh; kinda sporty style jackets + pants, i decided on this outfit bc i wanted to go a little further from his school outfit and most of the other ones i liked for him were all black lol

okay SOOO tew be honest i was having trouble finding smtn i think he would wear + i choose random outfit from piwon killin it promotiuons i liked.. thank u jongseob✌😭 i feel like he'd definitely wear something more colorful + overall lighter pallet than this outfit lol but i liked the half skirt so 🤯👍

anyways if im talking what he'd actually wear... gonna ramble a lot oops,.... i'd lurve more info on like. all the characters' home lives... big family = i often just assume to having some money struggles at home, so i imagine most of his clothes are thrifted stuff. idk what the age gaps is here but he's the oldest sibling so he doesn't get hand-me-downs.. i like to think of him being a very caring big brother, and he doesnt rly care about if what he wears is consider feminine or masculine, so he keeps what he gets a pretty even balance of the two, thinking not just abt his own tastes but also what'll eventually go to his siblings. but then when they get passed down eventually his siblings end up fghting over who gets what.. "it was his skirt first and he's a boy, wdym you get it just bc your a girl?!" smtn like that loll

it's so preppy in here.!! ik the sweatshirt was just like lounge clothes but i reallyyyy loved that outfit for him lolzz... i wanna see him in more big sweaters and sweatshirts...

sorry for lack of marito and outa aughh.. i was struggling with both of them, outa especially i have rly no clue what to put him in XD

but marito i'd imagine in clothes kinda similar to in the flashbacks; his regular outfit is very different to that but kind of ?? idk hot topic pastel mall goth. if that makes sense

maybe something kinda like this but probably with tripps or some other baggy pants w more pink accents

i type this up at 2am + dont feel like proof-reading now bear with me if some of this does nawt make sense 😭👍

[hannyoontify]

seventeen '96 line and their love languages

warnings | brief mentions of food

notes | based on pure speculation and my guesses by reading their “vibes”. i have a feeling it might be a little diff since the way that they treat their members is probably gonna be different from the way they would treat their s/o. listed from greatest to least (imo) and feel free to drop an ask abt ur opinions i would love to have a discourse abt sebongs’ diff love languages lol 95 line | 96 line | 97 line | maknae line

junhui : acts of service, physical touch (special mention: words of affirmation)

i struggled a bit with junhui bc he’s.. wen junhui. but i narrowed it down to acts of service bc he loves doing things for the members, cooking hotpot for others during in the soop and specifically not adding peanuts bc he knows vernon’s allergic and him wanting to know and experience the diff things the members liked doing during in the soop. i also saw a short compilation where he placed a hand on the wall whenever a member was spinning just in case they hit their head. js super small things 🥹 i saw a clip of junhui (idk the context of the video) but he was on a skywalk with others and he was jumping but he noticed that a co-star was afraid of heights so he immediately stopped and went over to make sure that they were okay and js my sweet sweet baby 🥹 he always puts others before himself and i think regardless of his love language that’s js the kind of person he is OH LIKE HOW PRE DEBUT JUN MADE BREAKFAST FOR MEMBERS BEFORE GOING TO SCHOOL AS HIS WAY OF SHOWING THAT HE CARES FOR THEM BC OF THE LANGUAGE BARRIER MY BABYYYY but yeah like if you wear glasses and you fall asleep with them on, he’ll silently take them off and put them down at your bedside table so they wouldn’t break or smudge bc he knows js how much you hate it when your glasses get smudged. totally the type to notice the smallest details about you and your preferences and act on it 

junhui just… likes to cuddle what else can i say i think he’s also one of those members who always has his chin tucked on another member’s shoulder. i don’t think he’s the type to initiate physical touch, but if the other person initiates, he’s more than happy to cuddle or have an arm around them. with a romantic partner, i think junhui would be the type to appreciate the smaller, unspoken touches between him and his partner. light hand squeezes under the dinner table, his arm wrapped around your shoulders protectively as he introduces you to his friends and coworkers, light touches on your lower back/waist when he’s passing by you, interlocking pinkies in crowded areas. he can get fidgety if you guys cuddle in the same position for a prolonged period of time so make sure to let him be little spoon sometimes </3

hoshi : quality time, physical touch (special mention: gifts)

okay i think this is a hot take but i think hoshi’s top love language (both giving and receiving) is quality time. not to like project but i’m also an infp and my top love language is quality time and i can js see that in hoshi. his favorite days are when you pick him up after work and the two of you go on long drives late into the night, accompanied by nothing but the bright stars and the low hum of your car’s engine as his hand is intertwined with yours. you just drive, listening to hoshi’s little stories and anecdotes about what happened during the day. the topics could range from what his coffee tasted like that day to how another member made him upset and you would just sit there, listening to him talk. he liked it when it was js the two of you, his hand in yours and being in the same space as you. he loved the way you glanced over at him whenever you could, flashing him that lovely smile of yours and patting his hand whenever he got particularly frustrated. he wants to be with you at all times, even if you aren’t particularly doing anything together. he js likes breathing the same air as you

this kinda correlates with quality time BUT LET HIM HOLD YOUR HAND. PLEASE. he feels so much more at ease if your hand is in his and he js wants to feel your presence right like he likes being in the same room as you but he would like it even more if he was attached to your hip so he can hold you and kiss you whenever he wants yk? def kind of like a forehead and kisses kind of guy ofc he loves your lips but smth about kissing your forehead makes him feel all soft and fuzzy inside (he mentioned last night about his kiss transmitting to your brain faster through your forehead than your lips since it’s closer to your brain or smth but you don’t rlly remember since that was at 2 in the morning) surprise back hugs and resting his chin on your shoulder. you’re the only person he allows to squeeze his cheeks and call him ‘adorable’ and he likes it. he likes being adored by you, he likes having you in his personal space because when it comes to you, he doesn’t have any 

special mention: GIFTS!!! i mostly wanted to write this part bc of that iconic clip of hoshi falling flat to his face after receiving a pair of jeans that he wanted/were expensive so he paused the music during the rehearsal and was thanking everyone LMAO yeah that’s infp’s, they get super touched by the smallest gestures so gift giving is one sure way of showing him how much you appreciate and love him. 

wonwoo : words of affirmation, quality time

wonwoo my lovely boy :((((( he’s a bit more quiet so when you first started dating, he wasn’t very vocal about his affections and feelings but he’s worked on it and grown a lot since then. not the type to declare his love every 2 minutes but like the small “i’m proud of you” with a warm smile or a “good job” “you did amazing” like he js knows what to say to make you feel better. he’s a smart person and he makes the right word choices to comfort you and make you feel loved even without those 3 words. blushes whenever you compliment him and hides his face in his hands. gets so shy when you compliment him bc you???? the most wonderful human in the universe thinks he’s?????? the best thing to happen to you??????? pls keep telling him that bc he loves hearing from you how much you love him and how much he means to you bc it really helps him when he’s feeling down (he even has a separate album on his camera roll of js screenshots of your texts and words of encouragement specifically for rougher rehearsals/days)

quality time!! i think we kinda saw this coming, he likes sitting on the couch with you, playing super smash bros and he loves the way you bounce up and down in your seat whenever the game gets intense or you get excited. when they’re more complex pc games, he’s never admitted it out loud, but he likes it when you sit next to him at his desk, watching over his shoulder. “get ‘em get em right there- OOOO THAT WAS SO CLOSE BABE” you always ask him if you’re annoying him during his games but absolutely the fuck not bc he loves hearing you comment and he loves it even more when you give him a victory kiss after a game. it was js a quick peck on the cheek regardless of whether or not he won bc he’ll “always be a winner in [your] eyes” also liked it when you comforted him whenever he lost and cursed out his opponents bc although he himself never does it, it feels nice to hear you call 37 year old men on the internet “prissy dickwads who still wet the bed and cry for their mommies”. has he ever told you that he loves you?

woozi : acts of service, physical touch

jihoon is a man of a lot of unspoken words and feelings. not a big fan of physical touch or talking, so he resorts to relying on his actions to relay his feelings. i think we all know what i’m about to say; his giving love language is song writing which basically is a combination of acts of service and gift giving. his second ever ‘i love you’ was through a song (he thought the first one should be said out loud since it’s a pretty big deal) but he just loves you and cares for you sososososososo much but why js say them in the same ol’ tone in the same ol’ way when he can say that over and over again in hundreds of different ways accompanied by thousands of different sweet melodies? yeah and bc you’re a big music nerd too, he feels appreciated how you always listen attentively at least twice, once for the music and a second time for the lyrics. and then the praise and compliments that came flooding in afterwards is almost as immeasurable as his love for you. he sometimes wonders how you never run out of compliments to say but he loves it. and besides songs, woozi loves to take care of you. making sure you’re fully tucked into bed before he turns off the lights, making sure to stock up on oatmeal raisin cookies in his studio because he knows you love them (despite seungkwan’s absolute hatred for them and how ‘deceiving’ they are), folding your laundry for you when you’re busy, and occasional breakfasts in bed 🥹

OKAY. HEAR ME OUT. he doesn’t like physical touch in general but you (and dokyeom) are the only exceptions. he js kinda melts and knows he’s safe when he’s in your arms. not really one to initiate skinship but will NEVER decline if you offer cuddles bc.. they’re cuddles. from you. why would he say no? he likes it when you’re on his couch in his universe factory and js kinda hold him during his breaks in between long work periods. it helps him de-stress and momentarily forget about all the new chord progressions, rhythms, and lyrics he’d been working on the for the past 3 hours. he melts under your touch when you run your hands through his hair, his head in your lap and staring up at the ceiling (aka stealing glimpses of your face whenever he can) ofc there are days where he wants to be alone and you respect that, which he’s thankful for. likes head pats pls give him lots of head pats and your occasional surprise kiss on the cheek will have that man BLUSHINGGGGG (pls keep doing it he loves it)

reblogs and feedback are always appreciated ^-^

[ac3-76]

Kai Smith Headcannons

warnings: none😊

General

Idc what anyone says he can cook

like him and Nya were on their own for most of their childhood and bc Kai is the oldest he insisted on cooking

also because he grew up poor he gets really creative in the kitchen

his body temperature is constantly at 102° Fahrenheit

he does well in colder climates and doesn't struggle with feeling cold or freezing, but in hotter climates he gets heat exhaustion fast

He pretty much refuses on taking rest days

like he has to work out every single day or else he gets really insecure

He has the largest social media following out of all the ninjas(if you don't include Lloyd's graffiti account that no one knows he runs)

his body insecurity stems from growing up skinny and underweight

He LOVES Supernatural and sees a lot of himself in Dean Winchester

He has 3 tiktok accounts, one for fashion, one for thirst traps, and one where he just talks, rants, or does vlogs

he also has a YouTube channel that does really well, it's mostly vlogs, pranking the ninjas, doing challenges, trying things

his YouTube channel is kind of a mix of Jake Webbers channel, Kalogeras sisters, and the Sturniolo Triplets

He only has 1 Instagram and he mostly posts pictures of him and the other ninjas hanging out and having fun

He has a public and a private Twitter

the only thing he posts on his public account is i❤️my partner type stuff and dates for things

He definitely did a tweet about how exited he was for A Good Girls Guide To Murder TV show to be released

His private account has tweets for literally everything he does and thinks

"ate a fire cookie🔥🔥"

"just took a narly nap"

"you guys"(with absolutely no rhyme or reason, everyone was responding to that one really confused)

"just watched Teen Wolf, Chris Argent is such a dilf"

The crazy thing is his private account has over 4 million followers, he accepts literally everyone that requests to follow it

He's extremely good at math, put any math problem in front of him and he can solve it in his head in 15 seconds

He's also very financially literate, he's got all of his money related things in order and is a millionaire by season 10 bc he got into investing and stocks

No one knows abt him being a millionaire tho bc he doesn't buy things that look expensive and he doesn't flex his money

He totally buys expensive things tho

it's mostly high end clothing

he has a huge shoe collection that costs at least $2,813

He's an absolute fiend for cosmic brownies

He's a huge car guy

His favorite car brand is Koenigsegg and he owns a black Jesko Attack

He also owns 2 motorcycles

Dating

He's hispanic and fluent in Spanish

If his S/O doesn't speak spanish he'll tell them things in Spanish and won't tell them what if means

He does this all the time

It's bc Spanish is his first language and it's easier for him to say things in his mother tounge

(Yk in Modern Family when Gloria says that no one knows how smart she is in spanish, yea Kai totally feels that)

(he's also a chronic Modern family watcher and he relates to Gloria and Hailey so hard)

If his s/o speaks Spanish he prefers talking to them in Spanish

(he also loves if they speak it bc its also Nya's first language which means they can talk to Nya better)

He absolutely adores physical touch and cuddling

Hugs from behind.

Neck kisses.

he loves his hair being played with

if his S/O wants their hair braided, he can do it

French, Dutch, typical 3 strand, box, godess, cornrows, triangle box, twist, micro braids, fulani, Havana

whatever you want and whatever ur hairtype, he can do it

He can also do any hairstyle on any hair type like it's the easiest thing ever

He def does a soft launch at first

once your relationship is public, he post you all. the. time.

he just loves showing off his lover

However, he makes sure that while ur relationship is known, it's private

he's not gonna post any fights or issues that you 2 have, he works those out in private

he let's you steal any of his clothes(as long as you give them back)

He's the right amount of jealous and possesive

if someone else if flirting with you he'll just walk up and put his arm around ur shoulders or waist

he pretty much never introduces himself when someone else if flirting with you, he let's you do that

He's very secure in his relationship, he wouldn't cheat on you and he knows you wouldn't cheat on him

BUT, as mentioned above he struggles a lot with body insecurity so you'll have to reasure him that you love his body

He's been cutting meat for people his whole life(first Nya then Lloyd) so if you don't wanna cut your meat he'll totally cut it for you

He's so they fell first, he fell harder coded

also unexpected love trope, but it's unexpected for you two, everyone else knew the second you guys met that you were gonna be together

Nya and Lloyd had a bet on how long it would take for you two to get together(Nya won)

[teddybeartoji]

mickeyyyy tell me about your selfship lore with dazai pretty please

CARINAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M HERE I'M HERE I'M HERE!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAA THANK YOU SM FOR ASKING ABT US ANGEL I LOVE HIM SM:(((((

okok so i had a chance to brainstorm a little with a friend the other day and now i'm gonna tell you all about it hehehehe:3333 also uhh.. i think this might get long so i apologize for that lmao

mizai takes place in a cute little university au!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dazai is majoring in literature (he's so pretentious i love him so bad) and i am an art major!!!!!!! this is how i get to live out my silly dreams okay lmao so i'm thinking about studying pottery or something!!!!!!!!!

and and and since the they're all so very important to me i also need to tell you that chuuya is also an art major, he's doing classical painting (but he takes some pottery classes with me and that's how we met:333). kunikida is ofc gonna be a teacher, so he's studying education aaaaaaaaaaand fedya is... a psychology major. i'm scared of him a little i won't even lie.

AAAAANYWAYYY MIZAII:333 he pretty much just lives at my place; he does have an apartment but it's super small and he just.. doesn't like it there. so he has his own key and he's free to come and go whenever he wants!!!!!!! when i say 'go' i'm actually lying bc he really is just always at my place,, like i come home and he's there. i wake up and he's there. i go to take a piss and then come out only to be met with him laying on my couch. he's weird like that i love him sm.

i also have a cat!!!!!!!!! well i mean my irl cat is just canon in the mizai world hehehee and ooooooooh my god dazai loves him so much. and shrimp really fucking likes him too (so much so that i get jealous sometimes.. ) my cat is very talkative and so is dazai so there's just constant meowing going on. and well sadly, i am no better okay i am a meower too......................... we have a proper fucking cat choir going on smh i wonder if the neighbors hate us...................

though we're both big talkers, one of our favourite things to do is literally just parallel play. he's laid out on my bed like the princess that he is with his newest book while i sit behind my desk, typing away at whatever it is that i'm writing at the moment and it's just sooo so comfortable. and then after we decide that we've been productive enough we always go to the little cafe that we both love and then go to chuuya's just to bother him a bit (he loves us) >:333333333

whenever we're out taking the bus or the train, we're sitting shoulder to shoulder while sharing earphones!!!!!!!!! he rests his head against mine and fidgets with my fingers while i choose the music<333333

oh and neither of us can sleep alone btw. we both struggle with sleep all around but it's not that bad when we're together. it's like thing apparently too you know? that like you get sleepy when you're around a person you really feel safe with? so yeah... we take a lot of naps together it's kind of like a shared love language of ours!!!!!!

OMFG WAIT I ALSO NEED TO ADD THAT UHH ODA IS HERE TOO. HE'S DAZAI'S FAVOURITE PROFESSOR. AAAAAAAAAAAAA oda loves him sm... he loves hearing all of dazai's ideas and his takes and they talk after the lectures all the time too. they actually even go to grab a coffee every now and then. dazai just really really loves talking to him and sometimes (read: every time) he comes home after seeing him, he's sooo happy:((( he has the biggest smile on my face as he just plops down on top of me and starts retelling everything they talked about with oda:(((((((((((((((((((((((((( AAAAAAAHHH CARINAA I LOVE HIM SOOO SO BADDDDD I'M GONNA DIEEEEE

he once kinda dragged me into one of oda's classes too and i was so scared that he'll throw me out bc well.. i'm not supposed to be there but then he was just checking who's there and who's not and his eyes met mine before moving to dazai's twinkling ones and he just smiled and let me be there anyway. (he would literally never throw me out)(btw i fear that.. dazai... yaps about me to him too.............. )

BUT WAHH OKAY OKAY I THINK I NEED TO STOP HERE BEFORE I ACTUALLY EXPLODEEEE I LOVE TAKING HIM TO STUDY DATES AT THE CAFE AND I LOVE TAKING HIM TO ARCADE DATES AND I LOVE LISTENING HIM TALK AND I LOVE WATCHING HIM CUDDLE WITH SHRIMP (MY CAT:33) AAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND WAHHH THANK YOU FOR INDULGING ME ON THIS CARINA MY ANGEL<333333 it means a lot a lot a lot hehehehe MWAH MWAH MWAHH I LOVE YOU SM!!!!!!!!

[noodlefluid]

I HAVE A RISE X READER ASKKK post krang invasion. donnie and reader are hanging out in his lab. donnie is upset bc he misses his old lab and the tech he had, now he has to build everything from scratch again. reader is chilling on one of donnies many spinny chairs and gets curious abt how his life was before the krang invaded, reader starts asking questions abt his lab and life n stuff.

he tells them how cool his lab was and the adventures they had and how they fought villians, then donnie brings up jupiter jim and the reader is like “what’s that??” and from then on, donnie is scavenging the base, looking for the comics (maybe the comics can be in leos room and they have a lil argument bc leo wants to know why donnie needs his comics and donnies ashamed to admit he wanted to get them so he can read them to reader) after donnie retrieves the comics he shows them to the reader and the two of them chill w each other, reading all of the jupiter jim comics

Never the same | Donnie×Reader

▪︎Sumary

Donnie gets nostalgic about his past life and start talking about it. After you ask him about one of his favorite super heroes, Donnie decides he have to show it to you no matter what.

❥Type: Fanfic

 ❥Characters: Donnie Leo Reader

 ❥Reader's pronouns: no mention

 ❥Relationship: Crush (implied)

 ❥Autor notes: Hi, sorry for the delay. This is my first request and therefore I wanted it to be the first one I published,I think this ended up being more focused on donnie and leo, but I hope you still like it . Also, please remember this is my first time writing and that english isn't my first language, any mistake either in writing style, grammar or just any suggestion in general is welcome, but please be kind :)

Warning: probably ooc leo and donnie, Angst, verbal argument, y/n is bland as hell lol, minor swearing

Word count:3225

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“ugh…” Donnie was looking at one of his latest invention, it didn't go as planned and it was starting to annoy him, this was already fifteenth try and it was going nowhere 

You were sitting in a chair beside him, spinning to beat the boredom and just trying to disconnect with the world for a moment, but as soon as you heard the sigh leave the purple turtle’s lips you stop what you were doing “What's wrong?”

“Nothing, it’s just…this stupid thing doesn’t work” you could see the frustration in his face, he was agitated, he groaned out of frustration “This wouldn’t happened if I just had my old lab”

Curiosity began to flourish from the moment these words were uttered. Even when the four brothers were seen as heroes, no one really knew too much about them, and no one could be bothered to ask either, we were in and out of danger every single day. Still, the atmosphere of this half-built lab make you feel nostalgic, you were starting to miss normal even when you sometimes complained about how boring was your past life, you were missing those exact moment of boring.

You met the brothers once they saved you in one of the many rescues they performed after the krang began to invade New York and finally the whole world. A world of suffering, where humans and yokai struggled together trying to survive the apocalypse. Maybe it was because of the way you encountered them for the first time, but it didn't take you long to get attached to them.. Especially, the purple one, Donatello, he never left the base unless necessary since he was responsible for maintaining the shields, because of that you saw him often. Donnie took his job seriously, always making some sort of gadget  to make missions easier and faster. You spent a lot of time around him, it seemed to bother him at first but now he was more used to your presence. It was probably because of this that you started to feel curious about the past of the turtles that saved your life, and this was just the perfect moment to ask

“How was it?” You asked, looking at the ground due to nervousness

“hmm? what do you mean?” The mutant looked away from his work to pay attention to you

“your lab, how was it?"

Donnie's face immediately light up “Oh my dear y/n, it was magnificent” He turn his whole body to you, noticeably excited to talk about it “I had so many inventions and material, you would be impress, a-and” The excitement make him trip over his word “Not to brag but the aesthetics were, heh, just marvelous, if I say myself, the purple LEDs and my incredible organization make my lab the best room in our...home” he sigh that last word, leaning back on his chair “I’m sure you would have loved it...I use to spend days in between those walls. I had this drone named S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N, he was sometimes annoying, but he was my pride, almost like a son to me, he was severed damage in a fight, and just when I managed to bring him back… this happened” He looked annoyed but you could feel the sadness on his words, he keep talking. “I just kinda wish this lab could make itself, you know?, now it just messy and doesn’t look scientific enough, my old lab had everything a turtle could wish, it was perfect”

“Well, I think is nice tho” you felt stupid for saying that and gave yourself a mental slap in the face, he didn't need kind words, it was a dumb

“Yeah…it is "nice", but I miss my old one, and…well, I guess my whole life in the lair” He sounded a little down there, looking somewhere between his work and blueprints

“How…how was your life before?" You feel imprudent for a moment, you already make him quite sad, and you were just putting salt on an open wound. Sometimes you hated your curiosity “if…if you don’t mind me asking, I-I understand if you don’t…” your voice reflected a bit of shyness as you spoke faster than usual, it didn't matter if you were friends with the turtle, he still was your superior, and most important,the hero of the apocalipse, you always tried to treat him with respect, but the familiarity was such that you sometimes forgot to put your filter on

Donnie gives you a little smile “It's okay." Of course the turtle was oblivious to your thoughts, he didn't care about ranks between you two "Well…hmm" He started talking "we were just hiding in the sewer, we couldn’t really go out that much. I think It is one of the few things I like about now, we can interact with humans without scaring them away” He looked puzzled, hesitant, probably asking himself what was worth telling “we were…usually fighting again some mutant who was dumb enough to use their power for evilish things, those oozquitoes where quiet the trouble”

You opened your eyes, news were full of strange event about people turning into monster, one of them being the world famous chef Rupert Swaggart, but you actually never pay too much attention to it, since it always ended up solving itself in some strange circumstance, now you knew the true “Wait, it was you? that it's so awesome” Your eyes were sparkling of excitement, just when you thought they couldn’t be cooler "Those incident were everywhere, I actually thought they were just some kind of stuff TV came up with for the audience or something like that, b-but it was you?, it must have been fun, you're amazing Donnie" This just add to the reasons you admired the turtle brothers

Donnie's cheeks burn at the compliment, he try to hide it “Yes, it was fun. Although I preferred it when we were just relaxing in the lair, making fun of the last stupid thing Leo did, playing video games, and when the only fights we had were over who got the last slice of pizza or which Jupiter Jim movie we were going to see first, you know?” He spoke softly, looking down and making a few gesture with his hands here and there while speaking

You looked at him confused. “What's that?” you asked

“What's what?”

“That umm.. Jupiter…Jim?” you were quiet for a few seconds trying to figure out if you had said it correctly, after deciding that you did you start talking again “What it is?”

Donnie looks at you like if you had insulted all his ancestry “Captain Jupiter Jim? you don’t know who captain Jupiter Jim is?!” You started thinking that this had to be really important for one of the Hamato brothers to be this defensive, maybe it has something to do with their training? perhaps a really important figure in the ninja world?. Donatello looked thoughtful you were gonna ask about it but you were interrupted as the soft shell suddenly stood up with a determined look “I need to go” and with that the turtle walked out his lab leaving you even more confused

« • ❁ • »

Donnie went into Leonardo’s room, he was the biggest fan, so it wouldn’t be weird for him to have the comics and maybe the movies that were saved from the lair. He was searching in the bookshelf

“What are you doing?” the sudden sound of a voice make him jump, slamming his back against the shelf and knocking some things over., it was his twin brother

Donnie didn't know whether knowing who the voice was coming from made him panicked more or relieved...he was panicking obviously.  “uh- um…no-nothing?, nothing! not searching for anything here” the soft-shell turtle picked up the thing that fall from the bookshelf while speaking

Leo looked at his brother with obvious oddity “uh…sure” the blue turtle throw his odachi on his bed, he was just arriving from a mission and totally didn’t expect to see his brother trying to steal something, he keep making eye contact with Donnie, he knew how to get responses from him “so?”

“s-so what?” Donnie try to maintain the eye contact

“What ya looking for? Need your big brother's help?” Leo smiled teasingly, it was weird to see Donnie so nervous, and he was gonna tease the hell out of him to get answers

“I just said I wasn’t looking for anything, and for the last time, it is obvious that I’m the older Nardo.”

“uh-huh…yeah, sure” Leo looked unimpressed of both statements

“As I say, I wasn’t looking for anything, since anything that belong to the such of you it’s probably unworthy” Donnie broke the eye contact first, looking at the door, obviously wanting to escape from this situation

Leo saw his intentions and immediately put himself as a barrier between his brother and the door “Well, if my belongings are so unworthy, what were you doing in my chambers?” he made a mocking gesture along with the last word, kinda proud of himself for using book words

“I-I…um” he stuttered trying to find the correct words to leave this situation “You know…I was just doing normal typical brotherly things, just uh…wanting to spend time with my favorite brother” Those last two words had a bitter taste in donnie's mouth. 

Leo couldn’t help but laugh “I’m your favorite brother?” he continued laughing so much that tears started to come out “That was a good one Dee hehe…so what do you want?” The face of the blue turtle turn serious with the last sentence

“I said it was nothing” Donatello hissed annoyed “...but just by chance, have you seen those jupiter jim comics?” He finally admitted,

“Ah ha! you did want something” Leo shouted victorious, just to realize about something not even a second later “Wait…Why do you want my comics?” Leonardo knew his brother, this was suspicious behavior, Donnie was something special when it comes to comics.

“Why do I have to tell you everything? Do you have them or not?” The soft-shell bark his words at his brother, trying to hide his embarrassment, if Leo was to know the reason, he would never hear the end of it

“I do have then, but I'm not giving them to you if you don’t tell me, so start talking” Leonardo insisted, it sounded like a command which make Donnie even more nervous

“I’m not telling you” 

“Then you won’t have the comics”

“But I need them”

“Then talk."

Both twins were known for their stubbornness, they never gave to others, much less to each other.. Their fight could last hours if you let them, and one of their brothers always had to interfere. They stared at each other once again with flaming eyes, trying to intimidate the other

“Why do you want to know?”

“Because" The other replied "I’m talking to the person who cried when he had to open his comic without gloves” 

“I didn’t cry!”

“You did!”

“Ugh! whatever, just give me the comic for einstein sake” Donnie’s fist clenched

“Just tell me why you want them!” Leo demand once more

“I just want to...read them”

"Why can't you just tell me the true?" 

"I JUST DON'T WANT TO" The soft shell shouted, making his twins take a step back, both looking at each other surprised. The purple turtle covered his own mouth, he wasn't expecting to yell

Leo sighed, he didn't wanna fight with his brother for some dumb comics, he has more important thing to worry about, and knowing Donatello, he knew he wouldn't tell a thing if he didn't want to "Fine…no need to yell, I was just teasing" He sighed once again, not dearing to look at his brother

Donatello had a complicated expression. Back in the lair, they would keep screaming at each other until Raphael or Michelangelo made them stop, they would keep teasing at each other, maybe go physic, but at the end of the day they wouldn't even apologize, at least not with words, they would hang out in one of their room or Donnie's lab and have those unspoken conversations they always had. But this wasn't the lair or their past lives, there were just so much that wasn't the same, even when they were still living together, they never see each other, they were starting to feel like strangers, and it make Donatello feel insecure "I-I'm...sorry…I didn't- I" he spoke tripping over his own words. Donnie felt pathetic, starting to fidget with his fingers, his breath a little accelerated, avoiding any eye contact

"Hey, hey, It's okay, don't worry" Leonardo tried to comfort his brother, smiling and making sure the other knew he wasn't angry or anything while searching for something under his bed. A cardboard box "Here..." Leo offer the box to the other mutant

Donatello took a closer look at the box, inside there were not only the Jupiter Jim comics, but also some action figures, posters, among other stuff from the franchise "umm…thanks" both brother were uncomfortable, neither of them were good with "feelings" and "sincere moments"

"Yeah yeah, but next time just ask, don't come to my room to snoop around like a creep, you weirdo." Leonardo teased Donnie, trying to make the atmosphere a little less serious, it was starting to suffocating them both

The comment make the other laugh a little, but he covered his mouth to not give the him a clue "Scoff" he looked away

"Oh, shut up."

Donnie finally had the comics, now it was time to show them to you, were you gonna like them? What if you didn't like them? He went through all those problems, if you didn't like them he would probably cry internally. 

« • ❁ • »

Donnie sends you a message to come to his lab. You were still confused about the events from early on, but maybe he needed you for something important, it wasn't weird to ask you to test his inventions. When you arrived at the turtle's lab, he was on his desk looking at something, but you couldn't see it.

He then noticed you standing on the entrance "Finally!" the mutant spoke, he get up of his seat and walk towards you, taking you by the shoulder and sitting you on omce of the chairs, you then saw the thing he was looking at, there were various comics with Jupiter Jim as the title in it

"What's all this?" You asked 

"This, my dear y/n, is one of the best comic and movie franchises of all. And I just can't be friends with you if you don't know about this" Donnie has bright eyes, you could see how they were sparkling on excitement

"So...It's this the thing you talked about early?" You take on of the comics and give it a quick look at it, all your theories of a great and important ninja figure collapse with one glance, it was just a comic

"First of all, you can't call it "thing", this is a super valuable collection of Jupiter Jim merchandise" He takes the comic off your hands "second, you shall treat it with respect" he sat beside you. You couldn't help but laughed at how serious he was about those comics, it was hard to believe that the great Hamato Donatello, the smartest living being and one of your saviors, could be so excited about sometime so childish, your heart feel all fuzzy and warm inside.

The mutant searched sometimes inside the box, it looked like he was looking for something specific “ah ha! found it” the turtle beamed at the comic book in his hands, after giving it a quick look he gave it to you “here, read this one. It's one of the best to begin with”

You took the comic, staring at the cover. Just like the one before, the pages had the title “Jupiter Jim” in bright yellow, a dark skin man standing heroic, dressed as an astronaut with a little funny looking red fox on his side. You started reading the first page “The colors are so pretty”, it was the first comment you made, colors always had been a focus point for you

Donnie was just staring at you while you kept reading in silence, nodding or adding a few “I know, right” to your occasional comments. The purple turtle started to order the comics, trying to decide which one to give you next, there were a few chapters missing, he put a piece of paper to remember what needed explanation from a previous loss episode. He then just stared at you some more, it was quite interesting for him how focus you could get at something

“Wow…” You proclaim, closing the comic book and looking at the distance for a few seconds, trying to process what you have just read, and then looking at the turtle “That was such a roller coaster of emotion, like- like the fights a-and…“ You spoke fast, as if you were trying to put all your thoughts in one word "It just so awesome!! I can't describe it, I don't know how I have been living without knowing this" You kicked your feet with pure joy

Donnie was flapping his hand while listening to you talking about your first impression of the characters, story, just the whole thing! he didn’t want to interrupt but at the same time he wanted to ask so many questions about your thoughts. He felt himself over the moon just listening to you talking about one of his favorite things, he could barely conceal his delight “I know! I told you, this is a history treasure” he shouted, not being able to regulate his voice.

“I feel so foolish for thinking of such an amazing creation as childish, I shall regret my words and promise to worship this great creation.” You hold the comic with both hands, putting it in the air as a  sign of respect for a few seconds before snapping “Please, please!! show me some more” you got a little too close to the contrary 

Donnie would have usually pull you back, but his joy was just enough for him to not care and unconsciously put you closer instead “Oh dear y/n we are just getting started, this is not even a fraction of how amazing Jupiter Jim is” he took another comic book, holding it with both hand with the cover facing you, it was quite close to your face so you couldn't actually read the title “This is one of my favorite, buy I would need to explain some things, since to my sadness the first episode of this saga is missing” He put his chair closer to yours, opening the first page, you also got closer to get a better look “First…” He started explaining “The previous episode ended with this big battle between Jupiter Jim and…” You both began to read the comic, laughing and sharing your thoughts of the story. Time seemed not to move forward as you both enjoyed your time together, just having a fun time in the middle of this chaotic world, which may never be the same again, but for that moment you both forgot about that.

[ghostfacesvalentine]

Well would you like some coffee? - Loki Laufeyson x Fem!Reader

Pairing: Loki x Fem!Reader

Warnings: I mean, some mentions of trauma, not much honestly.

Type: One shot

Request: Hi I love your work! Could you do a Loki x reader where the reader has a major crush on Loki but feels so hopeless abt it bc why would a god like a girl like her w/ childhood trauma and a weird laugh. Hope you have a good day :)

Word Count: 3,622

Prompt: Reader has a crush on Loki, but feels hopeless.

Notes: Ok so, obviously I didn’t know where this was going towards the end, I kind of had a brain fart so maybe I’ll revisit this. Let me know if you like it or not!

You loved working with the avengers, it was a surreal experience. You never would’ve imagined living in the tower, not to mention the fact that you didn’t have or do anything really special, at least compared to those around you. 

You weren’t a god, you weren’t a trained from childhood assassin, you weren’t enhanced in any way or born with any kind of skill as others were. You were just a girl who worked at a coffee shop who got close to Wanda. She tended to visit your little shop of coffee and pastries every other day. 

Wanda would talk to you about anything, you always made her feel like she wasn’t an experiment. She beamed at the fact that you didn’t particularly “handle” her like she was a lethal weapon, even though she could be. She needed someone like that in her life and you were it.

You two bonded over your struggles, often making jokes about it though you both knew you meant well. You pulled each other together, it was no secret that you needed one another just as much. It seemed fairly easy to be honest with Wanda and your openness reflected on her just as quickly.

Working at the coffee shop could only pay you so much, even with tips, you were struggling to make ends meet. Thankfully you were able to snack on whatever they had at your work and drink endless amounts of coffee, which couldn’t be healthy, but it certainly kept you up and picking up as many shifts as you could.

Wanda, hearing from your struggles didn’t hesitate to invite you in, as a roommate, sort of. She had a bumpy relationship with Tony, she didn’t ask him for much, in fact, this would probably be the first favor she’s ever requested of him. He wasn’t entirely on board with the idea of taking in someone nobody really knew other than Wanda, not into the avengers tower at least. Bruce wasn’t really excited about it either, but it was obvious that Wanda had made up her mind. It didn’t appear that anyone really wanted to stop her anyway.

Eventually, the heroes warmed up to you, you were at a point where you knew how everyone liked their coffee. You brought the facility together and made them feel way more at home, since you spent most of the days having free time, only working at the shop rather casually, you invested your time in learning basic house chores: cooking, cleaning, rearranging the living room, doing laundry, you even took up taking in real house plants. Real, houseplants.

You’ve heard stories of their adventures and missions, there was always a conversation to be had when you were all together, you didn’t have to worry about the place looking dull.

Eventually Tony began to let his guard down around you, joking with the idea that if you revealed any of their classified information, you’d disappear off the face of this earth “nothing would be left of you” is how he put it, which you half believed.

You weren’t interested in disintegrating the avengers, you only needed a place to stay. The topic would eventually surface, the one that felt like a jab to everyone’s ribcage. The story that became of Loki, Thor's adoptive brother. The mood seemed to shift, there was not a real consensus about the demi-god.

Loki’s name alone appeared to be their trigger word, as everyone’s eyes seemed to search in their memories unwillingly.

It appeared that when his name would scatter throughout the room, there was that stiffness that played like a domino effect among those who had met the Demi-god. The more time you spent with the Avengers, the more common the uneasy feeling seemed.

You saw the news, it was everywhere, you had to be completely and utterly secluded if you didn’t know about New York a few years back. The scar still seemed prominent, especially in Tony’s demeanor. 

“It’s the only way Stark. I trust no other to keep a watchful eye on him.” Thor pleaded, you were in the process of making a morning coffee for Wanda, who was curled up against the stool across from you. The room only rattled with Thor's thundering voice and Tony’s denial, your eyes shifted around the room quickly, you didn’t know what to do, you were the last one to have anything to say about this.

Steve was sitting across from Wanda, mimicking both of your silence, Bruce observed both Tony and Thor, even from afar you could tell he was having flashbacks of the aftermath. From what you understood, Loki was troubled, but he was not loved by anyone more than Thor. Even after finding out he was not of his own blood, his love remained the same, you could tell by the way he argued with Tony.

Natasha was on the couch next to Clint, curled up in a rather relaxed manner, the only sound was coming from your spoon twirling in the glass. There was no way you knew what to say, of course you witnessed a few similar arguments, hell you were the reason for some of them, not as of late, thankfully. This time, instead of the tones soothing, they only became harsher, you weren’t there to witness any physical altercations between the group, but Wanda would reveal some scenarios she would be present for. 

Your fingertips became sweaty, nervousness was an understatement. Setting the glass down near Wanda, you stood near her, her eyes meeting yours. It didn’t take long for her to give you a voiceless reassurance. 

Somewhere along the raised voices, came a jolting “Alright!!” straining from Tony’s throat, which caused a simultaneous startle among the witnesses, especially you. You made note of Thor’s relief displayed across his eyes and face. Still, he seemed to be the only one relieved, there were unsure looks throughout the room, your eyes refused to meet with anyone except Wanda's, nothing out of the ordinary.

Months have passed, but there were still times you reflected to that argumentative moment, you’d be lying to yourself if you said that wasn’t one of the scariest moments you’ve witnessed so far. It didn’t take an analytic to see that the tensions were high and those around, were simply waiting for someone, anyone to make a move. You, of course, believed you’d be the first one down, you knew nothing about fighting, you could barely hold your own and it only made you feel more out of place.

It was ridiculous in your opinion, but Wanda was always there to reassure you it was not. Still, you felt in your heart it was. At times, you’d ask her to teach you to fight, but her excuse was that her way of fighting, wouldn’t involve methods you could use. She wasn’t wrong, if you needed to go to anyone, Steve was your best bet. 

There was some kind of embarrassment you felt in asking for help in that way, of course over time you began to feel more comfortable, but you still had a long way to go. 

Loki had been living in the tower for the last few months, the air felt dense. It felt as if everyone was constantly on edge, which you didn’t doubt they were. It seemed like Thor was the only bridge between Loki and the avengers, but you didn’t mind him much. In fact, when you first met him, you thought he was the most gorgeous being you’ve ever laid your eyes on. His cheekbones were utterly defined, his prompt black hair really exaggerated his pale skin, complementing those jeweled eyes, though you wouldn’t dare get lost in them, it seemed like they held the universe’s secrets in them. 

You allowed Thor to introduce you briefly, but it didn’t seem like Loki minded you much, of course he didn’t, but in all honesty, it seemed like he wasn’t happy to be there at all. You didn’t blame him though, you weren’t too sure how you’d feel moving into a place where you traumatized everyone and had no way to gain their complete trust back. You were torn between both points of view, from what Wanda explained to you, she told you what it was like to be manipulated and be told that all the harm you’re causing was for the greater good. She would talk to you with tears in her eyes about what it was like you have your mind shattered and be molded into a weapon. 

This was all her experience of course, there was no way you could compare both Wanda and Loki, but there was some insight at least. You’d think about it from time to time, it would riddle your mind, you couldn’t help it. Seeing the way he was treated even though he never displayed any sign of ill intent or malice, yet he was unwelcome.

You’d hesitate to intervene in his reading time, although there were too many conversation starters to use, you refrained from bothering him. You could offer him something to drink, but something always stopped you. It was no secret to yourself that you didn’t have the best confidence, you’d be surprised to have any, but this always talked you out of bothering Loki.

As the months continued to roll by, you did your best to stay out of Loki’s way, you kept from staring into his eyes, not because you were particularly afraid, you were just shy. There was no way you even had to courage to look him in the eyes and smile, even a simple ‘hello’ seemed so taxing. You were content with just staying in your corner.

At times, you were bound to walk into each other, well not literally, you were too cautious not to do so, but it seemed like Loki would frequent the study, or the library. You did your best to keep the place clean having nothing else to do, but when you’d see the demi-god inhabiting the room, you refused to walk in. You couldn’t avoid him forever of course, there were times where he’d relax against the couch, his eyes interlocked with the scriptures on the yellow tinted pages, head down, eyebrows furrowed, so concentrated on the piece. 

You began to catch yourself intaking meaningless details, your heart accelerating at the thought of him catching you. This confused you of course, maybe you were just terrified of the idea of him catching you watch him from afar, it was creepy of course, but you just couldn’t look away, you just couldn’t. You didn’t really want to either.

There had been enough awkward encounters between you that you had to briefly apologize. 

One morning, Wanda slept in post battle, you greeted the abandoned kitchen, not knowing what to do with yourself. You decided to begin what you did best, coffee. You hummed at the sight of the drink brewing, the aroma floating around the air aimlessly, maybe a few morning muffins wouldn’t hurt. As you turned toward the pantry, you heard quiet footsteps, feeling the dense presence behind you. 

Your continuous efforts to stay away from Loki grew useless, you knew that uneasy feeling had to be for a reason as you turned your head to see Loki towering over you. His emerald eyes beamed at the sight of you, his eyebrows frowned in concern, you could only look up to him, your mouth trying to choke out a few words. “Is something wrong?” Were the only words that could escape your mouth. He’s never taken you into account, it was always like you never existed to him, it was an all too familiar feeling. 

A small shake of the head came over him as his eyes stayed on yours, then shifting to the features around your face, which only made you even shyer. You couldn’t avoid his gaze if you prayed to the gods, you were sure he made not of your warm cheeks and accelerated heartbeat. 

“You’ve never asked me how I like my coffee.” 

The black haired demi-god uttered before you, your eyes widened at his complaint, you looked down in disbelief “I’m so sorry, I didn’t even think you liked coffee.” You responded as you continued your walk to the pantry. There was nothing that could prepare you for this moment, you couldn’t fathom a response quick enough. There was a brief silence between you, only the movement of shuffling items in the pantry.

“I’m only teasing Lady Y/N” He admitted with a playful tone, you could only let out a chuckle in response, retrieving what you needed and bringing it back over to the counter with the coffee maker. 

You didn’t trust yourself to look over to Loki, now that you thought about it, you couldn’t even remember if you’ve ever looked him in the eyes.

It’s not that you were scared of him, you weren’t, but there was just something about bringing your eyes over to him for longer than a second that just made it unbearable.

Another moment of silence passed, it was only then that you gathered enough courage to speak “Well, would you like some coffee?” 

This time, the silence wasn’t brief, in fact he responded close to instantly “If I could trouble you for some.”

Loki seemed so undeniably polite, it was like you couldn’t picture him harming a single body, let alone leading a whole army to invade New York. If there wasn’t video footage and thousands of witnesses along with the string of Avengers, you would’ve for sure been a “Disaster of New York” denier.

Your hand flinched back quickly when a few drops of hot coffee dripped onto your index finger, letting the cup drop and dribble against the kitchen counter. A simultaneous gasp filled the air for a brief moment. 

Instinctively, you brought your finger up to ease between your lips, a habit that had been brewing since you were in pre-school. 

To say you were embarrassed is an understatement. “Are you alright?” You heard the soothing voice get closer. Your eyes trailed up to meet the icy blue ones focused on your injured finger. 

Loki pulled your hand away from you face to take a look at the almost non-existent injury. “Let me take a look.” Though you pathetically attempted to jerk your hand away from his, there was a brief moment of being mesmerized by his concern. “It’s nothing, really. I should’ve been more careful.” You insisted.

Frowning as Loki seemed to take this more serious than it was, he reached over for a kitchen towel, wiping your finger to expose the lack of injury. It was then he seemed relieved. You pulled your hand back, moving the mug to allow Loki to wipe the counter of the spilled drink. 

“I certainly didn’t mean the trouble, please allow me.” Loki protested as he finished cleaning the counter of the spill, referring to the coffee pot. 

“No, no I was the one who offered. Come on, I can pour some coffee. I know I may just seem like a lousy mortal but I can pour some coffee.” Though you joked, it seemed like you were the only one laughing. There was a flush of regret that came over you when your eyes took a quick glance towards Loki.

He didn’t seem reactive in any way instantly, which was always worrisome for you when you took the liberty to make any joke. 

Your smile disappeared as quickly as it came, looking away from him as you continued to pour the coffee into the mug. The thought of even asking if you did something wrong seemed to terrify you more than anything at the moment. 

“Is that what you think I view you as?” Loki hummed as his hand moved the rag towards the edge of the kitchen counter. You fiddled with your bottom lip, this time feeling the weight of being an adult who shouldn’t run from questions you didn’t want to answer, this being one of them.

“I don’t know what you view me as. In fact I didn’t think you viewed me as anything at all, if I’m being honest” You half laughed at your lack of lies in your answer. 

“Nonsense, you’re hard to keep eyes off of.” Loki admitted nonchalantly as you brought the mug towards him. 

You rewarded his response with a stiff silence, not knowing exactly how to respond. “Cream?” you pathetically asked. You could’ve said anything else, wanting to be anywhere but here at this very moment.

A chuckle formed across the Demi-god’s lips, his eyes flicked towards the black liquid in the blue mug. “I don’t think so, would you have any sugar?” Loki asked in return, not phased by your response.

You nodded eagerly, showing him the different types. His eyes distracted by the options, he observed the packaging before deciding upon the most natural option. 

Loki was now added to your list of coffee making, after some trial and error, you both managed to figure out how he liked his coffee best. Black, with four packs of cane sugar. 

It wouldn’t take long for you to begin to trust him. You began to ramble on about your experiences, miniscule in comparison of his own stories yet he never seemed to be bored of yours. Not all of them were the best, on either sides, of course with life came ups and downs and the more you spoke about it, the more you realized you had more downs than ups. 

He took note of that, his eyes would shift to a sympathetic view of the person before him, explaining their experiences. Sometimes you’d catch yourself and cut the story short, something he never liked. It wasn’t until you got more comfortable with him that he would argue for you to finish your story or ask for more details.

The others began to notice how close you both had gotten, Wanda especially. You’d explain to her how he seemed so delicate and charming. You even confided in her how you had issues accepting his past actions. She didn’t seem completely in agreeance of your new friendship because she knew you so well. Wanda saw your crush before you saw it yourself, eventually spending nights talking about it along with how to deal with it.

There came a night, where you couldn’t sleep, no matter how much you tossed and turned. It wasn’t often you had sleepless nights, but when you did, it was impossible to get back to bed soon. 

You opted for the calmest room you could think of, the library. Sometimes just sitting on the couch, being surrounded by warm lighting and cozy corners often became your lullaby. Tonight, someone already beat you to it. 

Loki’s eyes met yours at the sound of an intruder, there was a moment of silence then interrupted by the Demi-god sitting across the velvet couch with a thick book in hand. “Can’t sleep?” He greeted you.

You shook your head, rubbing your eyes as you made your way towards him. Crawling onto the couch and figuring out what he was reading so intently at these hours of the night. 

“Sometimes when I can’t sleep, I read the bed time stories my mother used to read me.” Loki admitted as he looked down to the pages scribbled in Norse writing. Your head leaned over to rest on his shoulder, a familiar position you grew to retreat to. 

It would be hard for Loki to admit, but he was quite fond of your touch. He never moved when you touched him or laid your head on his shoulder. At times, you’d be so tired from running errands, when he’d invite you to read with him, you would end up falling asleep. Sometimes on him and he would refuse to move a muscle. 

Of course you’d be embarrassed in the beginning, but he would soon become your safe space. 

“Y/N” Loki whispered to you as you felt your eyelids heavy. “Hm?” You mumbled as you tied to lift your head at the sound of your name on his lips. “You’re so sweet.” He admitted to himself, pressing his lips against your head. 

The feeling of course sparked your heart to race against your chest. Your eyes no longer feeling the weight of sleep. You felt your face redden, looking down towards both of your laps. “You know, I’ve always been troubled with admitting how I felt, understanding really would be the most difficult part. Still, the time I’ve spent with you, I believe I just find it relieving to meet someone who doesn’t have war on their mind.”

Your face shifted to confusion, not being sure if you were just friend zoned. You pulled your head away from his shoulder to look him directly in the eyes. “I like spending time with you too Loki.” There was no way you could control your wandering eyes at this point, they darted to the curves of his lips, refusing to look elsewhere. 

Loki made note of it, shifting his gaze between your eyes then reflecting to look at your lips. “No, I don’t think I’ve made myself clear lady Y.N.” His body shifted so slightly to face you. It only took a moment to have him lean in towards you. You shot up in surprise at the ease of his movement, staying in place as he pressed his lips against yours. 

There was no way you could avoid the butterflies that set free in you at his touch. You instantly pressed your lips against his, closing your eyes in return. 

You’ve made both of yourselves clear.

[phagodyke]

didn't even get to do my ironing :-(

[leonbastralle]

GAMES I PLAYED IN 2023 - FIRST HALF-ISH

i've been seeing a lot of this in gif form but i do not have the energy or video material and also i'm late but i rly wanted to make a post where i say a lil bit abt all the games i played and how i liked them!

pokemon platinum, soulsilver, white, white 2, y, sun, alpha sapphire & shield: i started a big mainline pokemon marathon in 2022 but most of it fell on 2023. it was a lovely time tbh and i miss it! platinum was a bit too grindy (but we love cynthia) and soulsilver traumatised me for glitch reasons. my favorites out of this lineup were definitely gen 5 in terms of storyline and pokemon selection, the later ones were a bit too handholdy and slow for my taste, and alpha sapphire could not compete w the og emerald which is my favorite pokemon game of all time. i did rly love shield though but that's bc i'm a) a football girl and b) i played it on my wife's sofa askfjhkasjf. anyway music is bangers all around and i do love The Concept of pokemon so i didn't hate any of them.

lonely people potion shop: this was an absolute surprise indie gem that i found on my wife's itch.io in 2022 but i replayed it for her in 2023 so it counts. this game is a rly short very fruity visual novel where you make potions for people and chat with them. it's one of the most heartwarming and gentle games i've played, every character is so lovely and caring towards each other and also to you the player! 100% would recommend i cried a bit several times.

validate: i really wanted to love this game because a dating sim/visual novel/narrative fiction type game w a super diverse cast (in terms of backgrounds, body types, gender, sexuality, and mental health struggles) and such a lovely art style? sounds perfect! and it would be if the characters weren't so...unlikeable sjfhaksjfa. it eventually got so difficult for me to root for them and also kind of frustrating bc the routes overlap in a way that even if you get good outcomes in one route, you can still mess up the relationship in a different route (because you have routes for each of the characters) so i ended up not finishing it.

neo cab: another one i never finished but was rly intrigued by! another visual novel but choices matter type deal where you play as a taxi driver in a dystopian world where you're being replaced by self driving taxis. the mechanics and cast are really cool and if the storyline didn't stress me out so much i would've finished it by now but i definitely will one day!

coffee talk 1/2: barista simulator meets visual novel in an urban fantasy setting where you also kinda save the world one drink at a time! i loved the first one so so much and finally played it last year in preparation for the second one coming out that i'd been anxiously awaiting, it's so vibey and the characters and their storylines are so interesting and i loved seeing their heartfelt interactions! also the first game was giving such strong queer vibes but they kinda dropped the ball w that in the second game trying to backtrack on that. ruined the experience for me a little bit but still a very solid game w cool additions to the already great cast of the first game!

skyrim: not much to say about that one. my favorite classic walking simulator that i keep coming back to, still very much playable and so pretty even on the switch! unfortunately also incredibly broken so i can't finish the solstheim questlines kjsfhkajsfas fuck you todd howard

calico: wonky little game where you explore the world and also bake and own a café that you can fill with all sorts of animals from cats to snow foxes to capybaras because why the fuck not! absolutely delightful, 10/10

later alligator: lovely little puzzle game w great old timey detective vibes and a banger soundtrack where everyone is alligators. these characters are such great fun, i loved the writing and i loved learning about all of them and doing tasks for them! the minigames got a bit frustrating at times bc i was lacking the coordination skills or just general strategy and there are some completionist things i could never do because of that and the main character (the main guy you're doing things for, not the player character) can get on your nerves pretty quickly but otherwise a lovely game w a great twist in my opinion

strange horticulture: this one made it into my all time favorites too. you play as the owner of a supernatural plant shop in a place where A Lot of strange things are going on. it has a bunch of really cool mechanics like plant identification and a lot of map related puzzles to find new plants, secrets etc. the overarching story that gets revealed bit by bit from an unknown person's pov outside of the gameplay while related events are also happening in real time was so interesting, and there are a lot of cool choices you can make that lead to various more or less unsettling outcomes. the spooky vibe is SO good but at the same time it has a very calming homey feel AND YOU CAN PET THE CAT 10000/10

penko park: another absolute indie banger. probably something like a pokemon snap but the beasties look fucking stupid and kinda creepy and the lore is cursed as hell. throughout the game you explore the remains of a park that was built upon the abuse of all sorts of cute little creatures (and big creatures) and while you mostly try to take pictures of every weird looking fella in their different emotional states that you bring upon them in various ways, maybe there's something you can do to right the wrongs of the park founders! who knows! (also special shoutout because these are german devs and as a german, i am especially demanding when it comes to german games and this one knocked it out of the park) (haha the park get it)

[crumbleclub]

Masked Bully Gang Headcanon Stuff

Idk, I wanted to talk abt them lol

Freddy Mask:

I subscribe to the belief that this is Jeremy, the main reason being that he's one of few characters known to be alive (survived the frontal lobectomy and all), which matched the Fredbear mask sprite not having posession eyes, and that it wouldn't be a stretch for him to have known Michael (were coworkers later on)

So this also functions as Jeremy headcanons, just mostly prior to and immediately after the Bite

Anyway, very expressive kid. Generally pretty happy but it's easy to tell what he's feeling either way. Heart on his sleeve type

Extremely casual, not super interested in following any kind of formality. Gets away with it because he's a total sunshine and people find it charming

His relaxed behavior sometimes makes others assume he's lazy or incompetent, but that could literally not be less true

Jeremy is extremely well organized and efficient

He can be very goal-driven as well. Excellent multitasker.

All that aside, he's not the type to overwork himself for no reason. He prioritizes his friends and his own wellbeing over achievements unless there's something very important at stake

Bounced around a lot growing up due to his family situation. He has a single parent who's having trouble getting by; he's been in cheap apartments, homeless shelters, foster care, living out of his family's car, etc. Things start to get better financially as he gets older

His family is generally good to him but they don't have adequate resources. That being said he's been around foster parents and other adults who are really shitty at varying times as well

Spends a lot of time outside and doing structured activities just to have a place to go

Boy Scouts, school sports, babysitting, youth groups for churches his family doesn't even go to, he just has to be doing something

Probably becomes an Eagle Scout at some point actually. He's ridiculously competent

His biggest flaw is being unusually vulnerable to peer pressure

Probably had the most guilt of the three after the Bite

Tried to make up for it as much as possible by going out of his way to take as many opposite actions as possible. Getting involved with fundraising for children's hospitals, anti bullying stuff, etc

His response at the initial event was a complete freeze. He and Mike were the only two who didn't run, but neither were much help in getting Evan back down

Jeremy just kind of... stood there. He doesn't remember it.

Eventually jumped at the opportunity to be a night guard in hopes that it might help Evan and the other kids

Mike's most consistent friend through the years

Also the same age as Mike, they're probably 2 months apart or something like that. 13 when the Bite happens

Chica Mask:

I feel very strongly that Chica mask has a bowl cut.

Using he/him pronouns for him in this bc that's what he used his whole life but I do wonder if he'd end up identifying differently had he lived longer

From a big family, middle child but has mostly younger siblings still at home

And when I say big family I mean 10+ siblings. I would not object to it being closer to 20.

They struggle to make ends meet but not to the extent Jeremy's family does

Totally starved for attention

His parents love their kids, they just have way more responsibility than they could feasibly handle well + end up neglecting their kids out of a lack of parenting skill

They also don't really delegate responsibilities so nobody's really sure who's watching the younger kids at a given time

Nobody notices in all the noise when Chica kid leaves to go with his friends or comes back or gets into trouble etc

He's also not been taught some basic social stuff bc nobody had time for him. He doesn't understand boundaries at all bc he's used to a chaotic full house with little siblings climbing all over him and having to shout to get any attention etc etc

Probably the angriest of the three

He's a little younger than the others, 12 when the Bite happens. He's also small for his age and makes up for it by being Really Loud

Chihuahua energy

Probably the most likely to get into trouble even without his friends around (Mike is similar, but the other two aren't)

Ran when the Bite first happened. Terrified. The guilt never quite got to him because he couldn't get past the initial shock of what happened

He was scared, and angry, and confused. He hadn't expected it to happen; he was just lashing out blindly like a dumb kid.

The only one who didn't go to Evan's funeral

He reached out for help about a thousand times in a thousand ways but nobody ever did anything. His family didn't seem to realize anything had even happened no matter how loud he screamed for help or how badly he acted out

I don't know how he died yet. From the town's perspective, he wandered off one day and just disappeared

Idk if he got into substance use really early or if he did something self destructive on purpose or if he was just stressed and took too many risks goofing off somewhere dangerous or what, but I think whatever killed him in the end was how the Bite affected him, rather than William or anything like that

Bonnie Mask:

Probably the most well-adjusted, honestly

Quiet kid, smart

A little older than Mike, 14 when the Bite happens

Has a single dad; his mom died recently of an illness

Family does okay in terms of money; they're not rich but not struggling either

If he has any siblings I feel like they're far apart in age and not that close

He and Mike play baseball together or something. He's really into it but his skill level is pretty normal. Might be more into stats or trading cards than actually playing

Probably views his life in baseball movie format actually

Quick learner, more into the language side of things than like math tho

Probably learns foreign languages as a hobby but has awful pronunciation bc it's all from books

Another one who isn't likely to be cruel on his own, but he doesn't exactly feel that bad about it until the Bite, either

He honestly just. Never considered the consequences of his own actions?

Very out of sight out of mind type of kid. When he no longer sees someone crying, he figures they must have stopped. The upset he causes others stops when he stops looking at them from his perspective

Had trouble making friends so he just went along with whatever the few he did have did and didn't think about it much

The Bite was a very harsh awakening for him

He ran. Completely panicked.

In the most normal turn of events, he told his dad and went to therapy about it and stuff

Developed a fear of blood over it. Never went back to Fredbear's.

Probably visited Evan's grave more regularly than any of the others

Shut down to some extent afterward. Kind of stopped having friends at all

William killed him in the end. I'm not sure whether it had anything to do with Evan or not, but he was lured and killed much like the MCI kids

Despite being in his teens at the time, Bonnie kid had never had a lot of reasons to be wary of strangers. The adults in his life were kind to him, and he trusted William's intentions until it was too late

[forgottenroisin]

How does Roisin prefer someone else confess their love to them, if they want to at all?

dlsfkjaljsdfjsdf unfortunately for you, dear reader, rosie is a character i know very well and have spent a lot of time thinking abt, and this question kinda hits at the heart of a lot of her struggles, so this will, i fear, be quite a lengthy reply! feel free to read however much (or however little!) you like <3 i'll leave some titles around to help you decide what's interesting ;D

META

so!! I'm not sure if this is a question asking 1) whether rosie prefers that ~her partner~ be the first to profess his feelings, rather than roisin speaking out first herself, or 2) if its a question asking what method she would like her partner to use ~in professing his feelings? but i think it's def asking, as addendum, 3) if she wants feelings professed, at all! anyway, i thought i'd go ahead and answer all three questions! and the answers will actually vary! lakjfkljsdf

tldr, tho, in short, the answers are these: 1) yes pls let him do it! 2) just be sincere, and 3) no...in general, but...sometimes yes! but only if she truly wants you around for the long haul!

you can read on for more info ;D

GRIEF VS ROSIE

so rosie is an mbti [ enfp ] and an [ enneagram ] [ type ] [ seven ]! why am i mentioning this? bc, basically, she has conflicting, but related, hopes/dreams and fears/coping mechanisms which is why ur gonna get some uhhhh variety here!

rosie, as we all know, is a big romantic! she was raised on tales of chivalrous knights and brave ladies, and dreams of a fairy tale love herself. she is also, however, aware that real life isn't like that. her active mother slowly wasted away in front of her as a kid; her stepmother is vile and has forced them all into servitude; her father died in failure; her country was smashed by a brutal conqueror. as a result, she considers her wishes somewhat silly and even childish and is a bit down on herself abt wanting these things. but it doesn't stop her from wanting them, notwithstanding.

also ~interacting with the above~ rosie is an enfp, meaning she craves variety: new ppl, new challenges, new projects, and change, but also that she's warm, idealistic, fun, and compassionate (amongst other things! im talking specifically abt relationships w other ppl here)! she loves with her whole heart, but she also hates to be tied down, but also values loyalty and fortitude. she can be extremely casual, but she craves intensity. so! you can def see a conflict here! she wants deep, abiding relationships but also hates feeling trapped/like she can't open herself to every possibility/explore all the world and others have to offer. in the right relationship, this would all be readily achievable, but commitment is intrinsically scary to her and it requires a leap of faith!

which is where her enneagram comes in. in a nutshell, "Sevens fear getting stuck in a rut and missing out on the good life. They cope with this fear by constantly seeking out exciting, novel, and fun experiences." and "The central problem for Sevens is that their pursuit of pleasure is compulsive. Sevens are fear types who are specifically afraid of the power of negative states of mind. These they avoid by seeking distractions in the external environment: by multi-tasking, by keeping their options open, by engaging in stimulation seeking of all kinds."

CHILDHOOD WOUND

every enneagram type comes out of a [ childhood wound ]. for 7s, that's a disconnection from the nurturing figure of childhood (for rosie, the wasting illness and ultimate death of her mother) which tells them "its [dangerous] to depend on anyone for anything. if i stay distracted i won't feel my grief." they feel scared and lonely and empty, in continual pain, lacking something profound and meaningful inside. rosie, specifically, is characterized by a profound fear of loss, and there's only one way to truly avoid loss: avoidance of attachments. something which is, itself, painful for someone who craves deep, abiding connection. in other words, the only way to heal is to risk more of the same pain that broke her in the first place.

bc of this, in general rosie ~is a runner. she enjoys excitement and fun, but after awhile there's a line you cross, right? and after that things get more and more srs, attachments get deeper -- you start relying on that other person. and that's where rosie gets antsy, bc that's the point at which the risk starts to mount. she can lose anyone at any time! what if she loses this person, too? its no accident that the vast majority of her deepest relationships arose through proximity and from early childhood: she didn't really have a chance to run away.

in august, i actually wrote this note to myself: "Got emo thinking abt lfr while working on my space anyway hc incoming: sorcha was reading rosie a compendium of fairy stories when she got too weak to continue — rosie still has that tome and treasures it, has the passages memorized, bc reading them to herself is the only way she can hear her mothers voice again

"Rosie’s grief for her parents differ: her mother suffered a protracted illness and so by the time she died it was almost a release from suffering, and Rosie was too young to fully grasp it, but afterwards spent the rest of her life fearing the loss of loved ones more than anything. Her father was sudden and terrible and the bringing abt of all her worst fears. This grief is a chasm, bc it’s both griefs, in essence, and it’s a big part of why she can never stop running from it"

so yeah ironically she's rarely gonna do the thing she wants everyone else to do which is stick around! she's the ill leave before i can get left type

PIERS AUCLAIR

i do think there have been two occasions on which rosie was prepared to cross that boundary ~in a romantic~ capacity, specifically. before the war, rosie would've been twenty and thus a decade+ away from the inciting incident of her grief/fear. she was living at court and feeling v brave and older and sophisticated and she was sort of seeing a young man who was a young lord in a foreign country, there as part of a party in astaira to treat w the queen

honestly, i def think rosie had a lot of romantic ideas abt this young man that frankly weren't even true. but he was dashing and handsome and exciting, and he knew how to make her laugh, and she felt happy and adventuresome when she was with him and she thought! this is it! this is what ive been searching for! its time to be brave!

and here's the moment we come to the actual question!

QUESTION THE FIRST! does rosie prefer that she or her partner be the first to profess their feelings?

being a big romantic, rosie has some v decided ideas abt who does what! and the ~man is supposed to make the move! that's what happens in the fairy tales! besides, she's sure its also more ~thrilling to be confessed ~to than to ~do the confessing, which is the scary part! and rosie don't do scary! so this is all v convenient ;D

MORE PIERS!

now to the matter of this previous young man! i am, here and now, dubbing him sir piers auclair, knight of the griffin, future lord of the blackwater, from the country of lienor (nonsense information to the rescue! ;D). piers was ngl a bit of a player, but rosie was young and naive and fell for it hook, line, and sinker, and believed whole heartedly that he was in love w her and that, she, herself, was completely in love w him (she ~was in love, but only w the romanticized image she had of him in her head)!

i don't think piers was really a particularly bad person or anything tbf, and he did enjoy rosie, liked her etc, i think, but she wasn't anything v special to him, he was just passing his time w a pretty face and intent upon returning to his soon-to-be political fiancee in lienor whenever the ambassador had successfully charmed this astairan queen. i do think piers knew rosie's attachment was much deeper than his own, but i think it felt good to be adored and he just -- let it go, thinking it would come to nothing and she'd get over it eventually etc

but rosie didn't, couldn't see it -- she thought he was all that and a bag of chips! and she thought that roisin auclair had a particular ring to it and that he did, too, but they were sundered by his duty to his parents who wanted him to marry someone else! but maybe! maybe if she let go all uncertainty, they could fight for the future they wanted, together! her father was just as rich as the other young ladies! a nd true love will always find a way, that's what all the stories said! and, even tho the idea of leaving her family behind and going to lienor was terrifying, she thought it might be worth it for the love of her life!

i think she waited for awhile, hoping he'd finally say what she was hoping to hear, but i think she finally took matters into her own hands and told him that she was in love w him, herself! which honestly took sm courage for her to do ngl! and i think he just stared at her in shock!! and then said smth noncommittal that kinda sorta felt like maybe a reciprocation when you don't poke at it too much!! and rosie was happy not to poke!! but deep down she started to wonder and just tried to force it! IM HAPPY! IM HAPPY! IM HAPPY!

soon thereafter tho the war. piers ran away wo a word just ~hearing abt roderick, abandoning her to whatever end and never reaching out again even by letter, and rosie was confronted w what he really was: even greater a coward than she, esp when she was sent back to malconaire and faced w the unswerving, and ultimately fatal, courage of her father and her home, all things which further reinforced her fears of loss!!!!!!!!! btw!!!!!!!!!

EDMUND

as you probs guessed, edmund is the second time, she's thought she might want someone to tell her that they love her! but she's conflicted abt it, too. let me explain...

i think, now, years after the loss of her father, rosie's starting to feel like she'd maybe like to cross that boundary w edmund...but all the courage she'd built up after the death of her mother has dried up, and she's much more realistic now. she knows what edmund wants; she also knows what edmund needs. and none of those add up to the youngest daughter of a dead and defunct lord: a dowerless girl from a conquered country. and she's equally afraid that if she pushes it, she'll lose him. bc, worse, she knows that -- one way or another -- she ultimately will

atm, she's just tryna enjoy whatever time ~they do have and not look too closely at what hurts!! which, fortunately, is her specialty!!

so her plan is to say nothing and wonder whether she should hope that he tells her he loves her...or not??? is it ~really better if he loves her too?? when it can never be in the end?? and then she gets sad and pointedly distracts herself!!! lakjsdfkljsdfj

QUESTION THE SECOND! what method she would like her partner to use ~in professing his feelings?

ok so you knowwwww that lil!rosie always dreamed of that big dramatic reveal!!! a beautiful, romantic place and moment!!! a big speech!!! a world-stopping kiss!!!!! she def put a lot of planning into this w piers too (which probs did ~not help ~him btw!! sm pressure on it!!)

atp, tho, while she def wouldn't ~mind the above, she's like 'that was just a silly dream!' now, and would def be down w smth much more quiet, lowkey, and down to earth, as long as its sincere -- that's the most romantic thing on earth, she's come to realize! that's what really counts (not all the flashy stuff w/o any substance, which is all that piers really was tbh)! whether its just blurted out thoughtlessly, or said v quietly in a v true moment, planned or not, that sounds absolutely beautiful to her <3333

rosie doesn't wanna put pressure on it, anymore, she doesn't wanna push anyone into saying anything they don't feel, she just wants a true meeting of the hearts even if that's someone saying 'i like you a lot but i just don't feel the same way' yknow? so they can just be open and honest and trust in whatever the truth may be between them

QUESTION THE THIRD! does she wants feelings professed, at all?

so, in summation...in general, no! no she does not want to be that vulnerable w you! she's just here to enjoy a lil harmless fun for you both! but if you get important enough to her, then yes! but now mostly just bc she wants to know where things stand and that she's not alone in this! but she'll also question whether she wants that too! which she questions even more re: edmund, given their necessarily divided futures, BUT she would probs wonder regardless bc -- even denying it to herself -- knowing piers didn't feel the same was painful too so!! there's really no winning w feelings!! lkajflkskjdf

OTHER RELATIONSHIPS

ok so!!!!!! i wanna keep this short and sweet but lil!rosie had REALLLLLLLY high hopes for valentina!!!!! she was like 'she'll never be our real mom but shes our new mom and its gonna be beautiful!!!!' she assumed her dad was in love w her (and vice versa) bc they were getting married and yeah!!! obv we all know how this went down!!!! and lbr it was a huuuuge hit on a lot of her romantic dreams and the first real brush w the concept of marrying for duty not love, since her own parents had somehow done both <3 and so she lowkey assumed that's how it always went! until it didn't

now the cassimir/eithne bit! this will be brief but!!!!! this has really been ANOTHER hit to her romantic ideals!!!!!! despite everything she was like 'even if we're poor as churchmice i know we'll either marry not at all or where our hearts reside!' and that was smth true for all her sisters in her mind but now!!!!!!!!! now even ~that peace of mind is broken and yes!! this does impact the above and, actually, not just this part the third, as i was initially thinking, but the others too but my main thought was!!!!!!!! she does NOT want her vers of cassimir coming up and being all 'ill marry you honey' like no! no thank you! pls go away! bc eithne's shown her that maybe the right thing to do is to giveup all ur silly romantic dreams and give in to a life that will always be a lil terrible if it'll benefit others and now she's asking herself 'am i selfish to reject cormac? should i accept him and save eithne???' so him ~not asking and just stating ~that it will be~ has been a boon following ~that lil piece of news!!!!!!!

also!! just learned today abt ladies' privilege (thank you, lizzy!), an old irish tradition where a woman may propose to a man on leap day, and if this is a thing in astaira, rosie's probs wondering, like, should ~she propose to ~cormac? she knows he'd take her!!!! he's made that quite clear!!! and maybe it could save eithne bc, he might be ridiculous, but in rosie's book cormac is better than ~cassimir!!!!!! and yeah!!!!! tis a mess!!!!! (tbh she's probs wrong to think this'd have an impact on eithne/cassimir but rosie always likes to believe there's ~smth she can do!)

[asbestos-11]

Hi I'm back again!!!!

I'm haply to know that I'm not alone in the "ship has to be sometimes realistic or I die" boat. Though it's not like I can't consume unrealistic stuff. I just have to be in the mood for it.

I assume the daughter that looks like Aventurine would be the oldest, right? And then later come the other two. I would love to hear about what you came up with!!! (I would also like to draw them, but I don't think I'll do your vision justice...)

In comparison, the fan kids I made aren't all that fleshed out, haha. It's not that I've never thought of them having kids, but my brain feels like it has to build the relationship first before jumping into it, if that makes sense. Like I first have to think about how a ship got together, how the relationship progresses, what struggles they face, whether they would get married, whether they want kids, etc. Whatever I create has to stem from those conclusions. That might be weird, idk. But having someone to bounce ideas off of certainly helps!!!!

Back to the kids, for me I would envision them to have two daughters. They both would have blonde hair, but then the youngest later on dyes it similar to Ratio's, just a bit lighter. The oldest would have Ratio's eyes, and the youngest would have Aventurine's. When they're raising them it's sometimes a jumpscare when Aventurine sees long blonde hair.

I like to think that the eldest daughter eventually gets the fashion sense of her papa (flashy, reference to an animal, excessive amounts of jewelry, etc). Though I'm mostly thinking of those sunglasses Aventurine sometimes wears. They take shopping trips together. Though she'd be the type that just likes what looks good on her, even if it's not designer or whatever.

In contrast, the youngest unfortunately gets one good look at Stelle and it shapes her little brain forever. She looks at Ratio and tells him "I wanna be like them when I grow up!!!!" and it's just a picture of them after they finished dumpster diving. There is no hope to be had. He tries to sit her down and tells her that looting for trash is frowned upon in society and can get her sick. She starts crying.

(Somewhere in the distant universe, Stelle feels a profound sadness in the air. March and Dan Heng tell them they're crazy.)

As for jobs, I like to think one of them becomes a pastry chef, and the other a teacher. But I haven't decided who gets what. Or, like what level of complexity the job would be.

Also thank you for the kind words!!!! We are giggling and kicking our feet together!!!!! I was thinking of making it worse, but then decided against it. I wasn't sure if it was going to be a bit too much if i did.

I love this little universe we're making too!! YAAYYYY !!!

ok ok so here's their designs (always subject to change). fitia is the oldest amongst the three and is a phd holder in archeology and anthropology. she's currently busy with research into her family legacy, more specifically she's interested in the avgin (both for her sake and bcs she grew up with aven talking abt his clan). fitia is a mild mannered person with a sunny disposition and a meticulous approach to her work, which means that she's not very good at taking care of herself. one can either find her nose deep in work or passed out on the floor with several mugs of coffee near her. fun fact, her nickname fi is a play on phi often being used in maths.

selene is the middle child. she's a pro racer and is just about the most reckless person you could meet. an adrenaline junkie at heart, she often makes her family worry. selene is a rebellious one, being very independent even as a kid. she's an avid lover of all things vehicle related and when she's not busy crashing them, she's seen tinkering with bits and bobbles. selene is a yapper, something she inherited from both her parents, and often annoys her two quieter sisters with her talking (they don't mind tho).

cassea is the youngest and quietest of the bunch. she's currently studying geology and is running a blog where she talks about gems. she's more of a listener than a talker, but her tongue is sharp whenever it needs to be. she is quite sweet, but she has taken after ratio's blunt nature. if she's not studying or indulging in her work, she's often seen walking along beaches combing for rocks and pretty shells. cassea has a habit of picking up trinkets and gifting them to her family (selene has a whole lot on her keychain). cassea's name is (might be inaccurate) the romani version of the name keziah.

nooo i love ur two girls they sound so lovely. i like the 2nd one dyeing her hair like her dad's, she's so real for that!!! who wouldn't want to look as good as he does?

oooh do you think that whenever they go on their shopping sprees, that they both legit take hours because they take so long choosing good pieces? i can just imagine her sitting in front of the changing room and waiting for him to come out so they can nitpick every single thing wrong with the article. i can already tell that their closets are full of stuff.

the youngest is a lost cause fashion wise, but god do i love her already. has stelle influenced her in other aspects of her life or just the dumpster diving fashion? huhu please tell me more about both of them, i desperately need to know more!!!!

sorry anon it took me so long to answer, but i've been in ddne land + i have been feeling really shitty lately, but whatever. haha it seems you have transferred the angst onto me :,D