#ty for the ask and kind words btw!! i super appreciate them

[drainbangle]

i just want to say that i ADORE your throne redesign. there's something so very shaped about it that i cant quite put my finger on.

oh thank you! yeah i remember i wanted to make her look more sleek like a snake + making it more... practical(?) but still attractive/fashionable hehe

[xhikers]

Can u do a sumin imagine where both of u just have an art date ?!! And btw love your writing so pretty and wholesome

art studio - c.sm

pairing- choi sumin (xikers) x reader

synopsis- your boyfriend sumin takes you on a surprise date!

warnings- none, lmk if i missed anything! (lowercase intended)

word count- 0.6k

authors note- thank you so so much for your request!! and tysm for ur kind words i really appreciate it!!

you were standing in front of the closet in your bedroom. you were met with clothes that you had worn probably hundreds of times before, but all of the sudden, nothing looked good. you were getting ready for your date with your boyfriend, sumin and he would be there to pick you up any minute. one thing that sumin always did was plan dates for the two of you and not tell you what they were until you got there. he probably did this due to the fact that you hate surprises and your boyfriend loves nothing more than to mess with you. you pulled a plain white shirt off of the hanger and examined it. it wasn’t perfect, but what could go wrong with a plain shirt? you finished getting dressed just in time, tying your shoes as you heard sumin’s car pulling up to your house.

     you opened the door before he could ring the doorbell, greeting him with a bright smile. 

     “hey!” 

     “hey!” he responded, matching your excitement as usual. 

     “so what are we doing?” you asked 

     “we’re painting! i found a super cool art studio that lets you go there and just paint or draw or whatever you want! its more fun than doing it at your house or something because it’s an actual art studio!” 

     sumin has always been super artistic. weather it was creating actual physical drawings or his fashion sense, he loved to express himself using art. you loved art as well, but you were nowhere near as good as sumin. 

     “wow! that sounds fun!”

     “yeah i’m excited!” 

     you hopped into the passenger seat of his car looking out the window and engaging in some casual conversation with sumin before you arrived to the studio. 

     you walked into the studio and sumin seemed to be somewhat familiar with it as he led you to a room off to the side of the building. it was a pretty small room, it had two easels set up with large canvases sitting on them. you noticed how his face lit up, he was completely in his element.

     you sat down on the stool in front of the canvas farthest from the door and started grabbing tubes of paint. you weren’t the most creative, so you decided to just paint a landscape.

     as you were paining, you listened to the soft music playing from the other side of the door in the main room of the studio. you looked over at sumins canvas for the first time that day and to say that you were amazed would be an understatement. you could see millions of his drawings and paintings and still be astonished at his talent. 

     he was painting a large flower that took up the majority of the canvas. you studied the painting for a minute or so before getting back to your landscape that looked mediocre at best next to his piece. 

     it was about an hour later when the two of you finished your paintings, sumins, of course, looked great but he kept telling you how good yours looked.

     “no! yours looks great! you should paint more often.” he told you, still staring at your painting. 

     he was probably just saying that, but you still appreciated his dedication. you might not have been as artistic as he was but this was one of your favorite dates that the two of you had ever been on! getting to watch your boyfriend do one of the things that he loves the most was better than anything you could ask for.

[aresrl]

I hihi I am!!! A little nervous w/ doing this bc I've never done this b4 so please bear🐻 w// me💦 May I request a match up? A vision, a romantic partner and maybe a friend and/or enemy? If that's too much feel free to just assign me a vision + partner, ehe/// Preferably male for a romantic match-up, but either gender is fine with a friend and enemy match-up^^ I tried to be as detailed as possible but I think I ended up just ranting, so im v v sorry if it's long! I sort of fluctuate when it comes to being an introvert/extroverted. W// strangers and irl, I'm very introverted and shy!! Rarely speak and if I do it's just the usual "Hi how are you? That's good. I'm good too, thank you for asking:)" yeayea I'm not too. Keen on social interaction irl. But I always do my best to be very nice!! I never wanna come off as mean bc wow what a bad first impression that would be. But with friends / ppl ik online?? Whew I am very very friendly n chatty ^^ Either very high energy or very chill, there's rarely any inbetween. Sometimes I like to jokingly tease my friends but I'd never go too far / make them uncomfortable!! And if I do I always apologize right away!! I like to say that I'm affectionate?? My strongest love language is def physical affection, if not quality time. Idk man there's just something about vibing with someone or hugging them that just aaaaa/// Although I usually display affection w// words of affection bc. Literally most of my friends are online friends so I can't actually hug them, sad times. Idk if this is needed/important info but I just remembered: I'm 5'6 around??? Need glasses bc. Whew i am blind (near sighted), I'm poc (specifically black) anndd, hm. Actually I think thats it for this section, aha. As you can see I'm, not really all that organized. Also I don't have the best attention span - while writing this I'm circling between 4 different apps - and I'm a bit of a mess. And also a little stupid. Just a smidge dumb. But I have my moments - I solved like. 2 puzzles in Inazuma by myself so I think that counts for something. I also find that I tend to talk a whole lot when I have an idea or smthn to say abt a thing I'm super interested in!! That's info-dumping. I info dump. Yes. I also really like to listen to other people talk abt things they like!!!! Its so nice :) I'm protective over people I care about!! I've never done it but 100% would bark at someone who messed with someone close to be. Arf arf yaknow. I tend to he impulsive. I'll do something, and be all "YEAH>:D" and then regret it later. And then I'll do it all over again in a fun little cycle :) I consider myself an optimist, but quickly turn into a pessimist whenever it concerns myself. Fun funfun. Should probably mention that I am. A very insecure person w/ dangerously low self esteem, which is super fun esp when you mix that with the fact that I'm rarely ever motivated to improve. Yayayay Also sort of a pushover?? Like most often than not I'll be convinced to do something, even if I'm not too keen on doing it. Also afraid of confrontation when it comes to my friends and strangers (that is, if it's concerning me!! I'll order smthn for my friend but if I need to order for myself?? uhh stutter time aha). I'm also a mega simp ahah! Srsly though if I fall for someone/get infatuated with someone I. Will be so obvious abt it even though I try very hard not to be. Would gush over that person probably. I don't really like mean people tbh. Like yes I'll be nice and civil with them but!!! I cannot stand!!! Rude people!!! Esp when they're mean for no reason like sir??? maam??? homie??? chill pls ty<3 People who aren't necessarily mean, but moreso have bastard energy and are just really "hehe>:D" but playfully are p poggers tho!!! I think I get along with kids!! I have a little sister,, around like. Nine? And we get along really well!! I also try and match a kid's energy whenever I'm tasked with looking after them. I take pride in the fact that kids like me >:].... even if they sometimes scare me-- Ok, interest time!!

I like art!! Quite a bit!! Less of a realistic artist and more of a cartoonist!! Idk there's just something fun abt drawing cartoons, hehe. I also like self ships - I have quite a bit of them, actually ! Idk its comforting drawings your fictional crushes loving you idkidk. I like writing too! Both original stories, and one-shots or personal fics that are associated with already created media!! Writing character backstories and personalities and stuff is also fun too! I've even made my own fictional world with a full fledged backstory n everything! It's very fun to think about. I'm a day dreamer!!! Yea remember when I said I write stories? I day dream abt potential stories even more. Mmm daydream world so nice so warm so fun I read aswell!! Mostly fantasy books, or stories where animals are the protagonists. Think Warrior Cats. But my favorite book series has got to be Guardians of Ga'Hoole. Fantasy owl books, anyway! X Readers are also things I enjoy reading :) Again, s I m p Also gaming!!! Is something fun I do sometimes!!! Although it's usually Genshin Impact, or Wii Sports/Resort w// my little sister. Oh, also pokemon! I rlly like Primarina, Vaporeon, Sylveon and Vulpix/Ninetails! I absolutely adore sweet foods, and baking is smthn I'm def interested in! Don't like foods w// weird textures though, like beans or mashed potatoes. Also I. Love spice so much. Mmm love it when my mouth burns so bad. Don't have a favorite animal but I've had three cats in my lifetime (btw not important but my current cat is named Sylvester and. He's my baby boy) so I am. A very big cat fan. Probably not needed but I really like sword and claymore characters. Literally all of the characters I main are either sword or claymore users. Although I did get Diona, so I miiight start forcing myself to learn how to aimmm. I see that I tend to like people/characters that are a little more extroverted than me. Upbeat, happy type beat!!! Nice sunshine babies, :) I think thats it! I hope this was good enough? Again, first time doing this (at 2am nonetheless) so forgive me if I got too rambly or did anything wrong ^^ Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this! And I hope your day is good / you had a good day, depending on when you read this, ehe!

Hey! Sorry if the wait has been long! I also love Warrior Cats (I promise myself, one day I'll finish it.)

You received... A Pyro vision! Optimistic, enthusiastic, impulsive, reckless, and a lot of energy are the general characteristics held by the Pyro vision. • I hesitated between the Pyro and Hydro vision, but your energy distinguishes you from the Hydro vision. • You said you were impulsive, always doing something you might regret later but still doing it. • You react quickly: as you said, if somebody hurt someone you love, you won't think twice before barking. Your partner would be... Xingqiu! “This feeling was unexpected.” • At first, you were just friends, and Xingqiu really loved to tease you. Actually, you both teased each other. But eventually, a feeling of love towards you grew into Xingqiu. And that was reciprocated. • Your relationship is filled with teases, jokes, and good/funny moments where you mostly share what you commonly appreciate. • He also knows when to get serious: for example, he does everything to support you during your moments of struggle concerning your self-esteem. Your friend would be... Childe! “Luckily, I'm here!” • You two also share funny moments, especially during situations where your “stupidity” is overtaken by his insight. • Sometimes, he finds you cute. • He likes the fact that you get along well with kids. It leads you to great moments with him and his siblings. • You're quite the opposite in terms of self-esteem. I think it's a good thing because it makes you complementary. Your enemy would be... Albedo! A misunderstanding. • You wouldn't hate each other, but I think Albedo wouldn't like the way you use your energy, and when you're more in a chill mood (meaning you're more available for him to talk), he could get pissed at how much times he'd have to repeat himself for you to understand something. • He's very patient, but he understood quickly that his interests would maybe not be within your reach. • You would just be too different. Worth to mention • You and Venti are like drama queens in Mondstadt. You are good friends. But you both know that you can't be more, as it would eventually both drag you down (because of similar problems). • Klee is also your best friend: both of you share decisions that you definitely will regret later. Or maybe not. • Hu tao and you are kinds of silently competing over who's the best tease, and she beats you. My goal is definitely not achieved. I hope I can catch up tomorrow. And don't worry, it was surprisingly good for a first description!

[shorkbrian]

Ask Answering

Ask answering time!

As always, if you don’t see your ask answered, it just means I’m saving it to attach it to a fic, Drabble, or HC. 

If you’d prefer to not see these types of posts from me, block the tag “shorkbrian answers a lot of asks”

CAn I be one of those pies that has birds in it? Goth pie.  But ty dude, and you aren’t pathetic lol. we’re all in this boat together.

Me sitting in class all the time just like 

but I wish you luck as well man! collemge edumakashun here we cum

Hello black heart anon (: You’re always in my inbox and I love it so so so much, you don’t even know 

lub u black heart anon

thank u luv <3 

(legitimately I see this ask every time I go to fill a req and askuhkdk it makes me wheeze)

Guess what Awaso? 

In Love With You. This is such a genuine and heartfelt message, I would let you bite my ear whenever you wanted, let me be the Van Gogh to ur knife bby. 

forrreal, I know logically that a lot of the feelings I have are normal and are part of being a teenager. Fun story but for like the first 16-17 years of my life I was convinced there was something wrong with me because I didn’t feel the need to express emotions. I could count on one hand how many times I’d cried in the past two years. Then I went to therapy and talked about stuff and my therapist taught me how to cry. I still can’t really cry, but at least it happens lol. So while it’s kinda embarrassing and stupid, a little part of me is glad I’m able to express my emotions instead of just stuffing them down my shirt like a little kid stuffing a pillow down their shirt trying to emulate a pregnant woman.

Okay I'm done lol, anyways, thank you for this message. I’ve read and re-read it many, many times.

It’s not stupid!!!!!! Do not apologize!!!!!! fantasies are fantasies, I get it bro (:

still cannot believe there are people out there who genuinely enjoy my stuff... like y’alll... I thought it was a joke...

But I would be willing to write a second part! I just need help coming up with like an idea cause idek how to go from there lol. 

could you guys pls stop giving me compliments I am genuinely going to cry like a little bitch and I have to uphold the image of being the funniest person in my household and If I start crying then I cannot do that. Pls. My Image

Listen, she can be whoever you want her to be! long lost sister, adopted sister, the kid he used to babysit that coincidentally loves horror movies and the same stuff he likes. Could be the kid that came over to help clean his father’s gigantic house, could be the bagger at the grocery store. You get to control who it is! That’s the cool bit!

You have thus been dubbed “Iced Chocolate Anon” (What is that btw? is that a thing?). Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m sorry that you had to go through that experience, I can’t imagine that it was easy or fun or even fruitful. I’m glad you’re looking at life through a different lens, and that you’re down to share that lease with other people. I’ve been trying to be better, to get better.

What did I just say about not making me cry it’s gonna Ruin My Image man. DOn’t be nice to me PLEASE I'm asjfshkgkfs

me every time I open my page/look at my pfp

do you-do you wanna share the medicine I take

Thank you! He’s always fun to write for lol

ty for the draca-snoop. He was and is much appreciated (:

I get what you’re saying, and you make really checking good points. I guess I just get too caught up with how I should try to be, because I don’t know what to do on this site and so I just kinda follow everyone else? and try to make sure I'm following the unwritten rules. Like I don’t want people getting mad cause I don’t answer asks right away or anything, yanno? idk, stuff is hard lol amirite

I owe myself the care and attention to make time to do things I enjoy. I enjoy writing, I enjoy seeing what people send me. I enjoy the experience. Y’all are rad as heck!

WHAT KIND OF REQUEST IS THAT

the first request I’ll ever be denying sorry luv

well I do not know what to do cause other people say

so I’m just standing here idek anymore

why inhale my posts when you could be inhaling this di-

Thank you kind stranger! although pls don’t admire my hands, I need new ones. hand donations are open ! I can only type like 70(?) wpm and I have an essential tremor and so I’m shaking like it’s -42 degrees at all times. please, I want different hands. I mean if you wanna we can trade. But essentially lol the point was THANK YOU you’re super nice

ik this was back before I set up my master list and I was crying and whining and being annoying about it. You worded this so nicely! I think I’m only going to be uploading actual fics and one shots there, because the thirst posts and drabbles don’t fit the ao3 format lol.

I feel like I need to accept that Kirishima is my comfort character lol. I love him sm. I think of him and just 

“Or just post anything, really.” have fun watching me post about Kirishima 2465972658729 before even thinking about any other character loooooool

AO3 Anon!!!! This message made me feel so warm and loved and ugh, you’re literally too sweet and too kind and a literal angel on earth. You rock. I hope YOU have a lovely day/night.

thank u bby (wink wonk wink)

gahfdsgkdh KIDDING but lol my intent was that Sero is a GIANT perv, but in the process of being a giant perv, he fell in love with u mwuah 

I’m sorry lol

Okay, I will be 100% hoenest here.... I rlly don’t like Enji. writing for him is like an impossible task for me, I have no Simp Sauce for him. But you know who does, and who is really cool, and would love to explore these ideas with you? @implexedactions​ 

Enji is THEIR man and ONLY their man lol. 

It’s not over-stepping, and it’s not weird, no worries. Remember folks, I don’t kink shame or character shame here (I do admit when something isn’t my particular jam, but just cause I don’t froth for it doesn’t mean others shouldn’t, yanno? Like what you like), and there is very little I see as weird lol.

thank you for the concern though, I appreciate it.

And with that, we have ended. TY for coming to my (Shorky) ask answering session. Have a good night and drink some freakin water, right now. Finish reading this and get up and go get water. It’s good for you. TY

[kakakakashi]

Just recently started reading your blog, and i'm really happy to see how respectful and mindful you are of the fact that this is 18+ content. Tumblr can be a dark and downright gross place sometimes, so it's really refreshing to know that people on here do care about keeping these types of posts in the right hands. Love your writing btw, ty for the place to be shamelessly thirsty lmao

Thank you for following, friend. It means a lot, and thank you for your kind words. I like to consider myself a tumblr ancient. I have been on this hell site for almost a decade. I saw the Mishapocalypse, I remember original tumblr blue, I know why the reblog button exists, I remember when asks were the only way to communicate, and I remember the first time this garbage fire got sold. 

In my years, I have seen a lot. I miss the days when reblogs were more common than likes. I miss the days where everyone screamed in the tags about fics they liked. I miss the days when people actually read the faq pages before asking. I miss the days where people actually read the warnings and notes authors leave on posts. I miss the days where people actually read descriptions and links and things that are there to provide readers with information instead of lazily ignoring them and sending an ask that’s answered on the ask page itself. I miss when readers respected their writers more. I miss when desktop was more popular than the godawful mobile app. I remember when messages came out, and you didn’t have to send your favorite author 5 asks to talk to them about their writing. I miss those interactions sometimes, though. 

I wish tumblr was still 18+. I think it was the biggest mistake ever to make it “more family friendly”. I knew it wouldn’t work. It hasn’t. Now, it just makes it harder for content creators, especially adult content creators. As a creator, it’s my responsibility to regulate who consumes my content. I can get in trouble if I don’t. Back when I first started, we didn’t have to. The site was for adults, and it was just unspoken that if you weren’t 18, you didn’t interact with 18+ blogs. It was just... a thing from what I saw. It was basic respect for the person on the other side of the screen, I guess. 

As time went on, I gradually saw an increase of people disrespecting that, and now with tumblr being stupid, it’s worse than ever. I try to keep track of who follows me, but it’s hard. Past blogs of mine were easier with no more than 250 followers, but this is difficult with almost 700 in about a month. I really am happy you guys seem to be respectful of the rule, though. It’s to protect you and me. I haven’t found anyone I’ve had to block yet, whereas I’ve had to block 50+ people on one blog before. Just please realize that there’s a reason I have it in my description.

Don’t follow me or interact with me if you’re underage. You will be blocked. This is not exclusively referring to my smut. This also means my fluff and angst. There’s a reason why I refer to it as NSFW vs. 18+. There is a difference. They are NOT synonymous. This whole blog is 18+. Just wait until you’re 18 for both your sake and mine. If not, you won’t be able to consume my content even when you are 18. Just... don’t be an asshole. It’s not hard.

Going off of that, it’s just basic human decency to like... just make sure people know what content is out there, so they can decide if they want to consume it or not? Like... if you don’t like something, you shouldn’t be forced to look at it? I know I don’t want to. Like, I hate those ASPCA commercials. They make me cry, so I change the channel whenever they come on. I don’t want to be forced to watch that. It’s the same concept. Some people don’t want to see my stuff. That’s cool. They don’t have to look at it. It’s just stupid writing about characters that aren’t even real. I just want people to be safe, be respectful, and be responsible. I try to do that, and I expect all of you to do the same.

However, you guys are lovely. You don’t force me to be serious very often on here, and it just makes everything more fun for everyone. I get to shamelessly thirst and swoon and scream like the dumbass I am instead of wasting my time policing my followers. It’s fun to let loose sometimes in a responsible way, and I want that to be what this blog is about. I lost my shame long ago, so you’re always welcome here, fam.

My writing’s boring and stupid. I promise I can actually write quality prose when needed, but this is all just a super self indulgent stream of consciousness. It’s literally just me screaming about Naruto and wishing I lived in that universe and dated all the characters.

By the way, I really appreciate this. I’ve been feeling very frustrated about a few things recently, especially with my hand gradually working up to its previous workload. This just made me feel like “hey, at least I’m doing something right.” I really am grateful you took the time to send this. It made me feel a lot better. I feel seen and respected as a person and a wannabe writer.

[omg-foreverfilledwithweird-posts]

Daddy’s Girl

Pairing: AU! Bucky Barnes X Reader

Summary: Bucky Barnes, a single father of his daughter Winnifred, named after his late mother, with sad, tortured eyes and a kind, open heart, hires Y/N to babysit his little girl while he works at his new construction job, coming home only at lunchtime. Innocent and fiery and compassionate, you find your way into his heart and soon his daughter isn’t the only one you come over for.

A/N: so as you can see I haven’t posted a fanfiction in awhile, been busy and stuff, and i want to go back to my roots and write a bucky story cause i adore writing him and I haven’t written an AU yet so I decided to do this one (he’s still a super soldier and was around in the 40′s just domesticated now we love him uwu) and as always i hope you guys enjoy and feedback is appreciated because it’s my only form of validation and i love it this ones a long one btw and rushed and WHOA and if ya want a part two LEMME KNOW

Warnings: really freaking fluffy, mild language, age-difference, cuteness, mentions of cheating and war trauma, slight angst, alcohol consumption, heavy makeout, 

Your knuckles ghosts over the large, wooden doorway laden with vines, climbing up the cedar detailing, other hand gripping your bag strap tightly. You’re nervous, to say the least, this job funding your payments for online university and you don’t want to jeopardize anything on your first day. He’s offered more than enough for your hourly wage, more than any babysitting job you’ve had before, any job for that matter, and based on his house, it’s no wonder he can afford to do so.

Your fist finally knocks against the door and it opens almost immediately, as if he’s been waiting behind the door this whole time you’ve been standing here, both stalling. You’ve only heard his voice over the phone, deep and charming, but that didn’t do him justice. Sculpted face, from marbled, olive clay, cerulean blue eyes that are already looking you over, dark, brunette hair to his jawline and messy with the slightest of curls, and lips, curved at the edges permanently, like he was born with a face to smile. His left arm is made of metal, cool and hard steel you want to reach out and touch like a painting in the Met, off limits. But you don’t dare stare too long, don’t dare pry. He’s beautiful and you’re almost stunned into silence, not expecting the man before you.

“Y/n, right?” he asks, flashing a soft, half smile, warm and inviting.

“No, wait... yeah,” you laugh nervously, shaking your head, scrunching your nose when embarrassment floods to your face, flushed. “Sorry, yes, I’m y/n.”

His smile widens, “I’m James, but I go by Bucky. You can call me whichever you like. Please, come on in.”

You share in his smile, making the eye contact your past bosses would always reprimand you about, something about respect they said, and walk inside when he opens the door a little wider for you, “Yes, sir,” you say and he ignores the not so subtle tug in his chest when you say that, following in behind you after shutting the door.

“So uh... this is my humble abode, I guess,” he tugs on the curls at the ends of his hair as your eyes scan the house, speechless at the interior design, imagining that it gets lonely in this big home with just the two of them.

“Humble isn’t exactly the word I would use,” you look back at him. “Your home is gorgeous. This foyer alone is bigger than my apartment,” you laugh lightly.

Bucky noticeably softens, bashful, hands stuffed deep in his pockets when he walks ahead of where your standing rooted to the floor, “It was my ma’s... she left it after she passed. I’ve barely been able to keep up with the payments, but I do what I can.”

“I tried to...” he notices a barbie doll laying on the ground and kicks it swiftly under the staircase so you wouldn’t see but you catch the small exchange and smile. “Clean up as much one can with a five year old spider monkey on their back. I apologize if it’s messy in some rooms.”

You giggle, “No need to be sorry,” you assure him, tugging on your bag strap, filled to the brim with games to keep the child busy and occupied, also including some snacks and your cellphone. “Mess is natural.”

His shoulders slack, relaxing when hearing that, a soft smile his only response.

“Speaking of, hey, sweetheart!” he calls up the stairs, leaning against the railing, rolling up the sleeves of his light green flannel, unintentionally showing off his ripped forearms, toned and tan from working outside. “Come downstairs and meet y/n, she’s going to be taking care of you from now on while I’m working!”

“Hey is for horses, daddy!” she yells down the stairs, little voice high pitched and extremely adorable.

“Uncle Steve told you that, didn’t he?” he rolls his eyes, flashing a smile in your direction, sharing in the expression with him.

The little girl appears at the top of the staircase and she’s bouncing with energy, blonde curls raining down her shoulders, stuffed unicorn tucked under her pudgy arm, “He also said yelling is impolite. Especially when it’s from another room.”

“I’m gonna kill him,” he sighs, grumbling under his breath as he patiently awaits for his daughter to skip down the stairs, jumping into his open arms. He groans at the impact and spins her around.

“Well, how about you tell Uncle Steve to shove it,” he looks at her and she giggles, bubbling with laughter when he tickles her sides. “Can you do that for me?”

“Isn’t that mean?” she narrows her blue eyes, much like her father’s, big and bright.

“Yes, but I’ll allow it just this once.”

She nods, saluting her goofy father and he salutes back, brothers in arms. You’ve never seen a parent so in love with their kid like this, so kind and gentle.

He sets her down on the ground once again, the little girl finally acknowledging your presence with a curious tilt of her head, almost like a cat. “Is this the lady?”

“Winnifred, this is y/n,” he nudges her towards you, hand on her back pushing her forward. “And y/n, this is the spider monkey I was talking about,” he cracks a smile and you chuckle, lowering yourself to the ground to get to her level.

“Hi, Winnifred,” you extend your hand. “I’m y/n. It’s very nice to meet you. Your giraffe is really cute.”

She takes two of your fingers in her small hand, thin, golden brown glasses perched on the bridge of her nose and shakes, formal and polite when she puffs up her chest while doing her best to mimic her father, “I’m Winnifred but I go by Winnie, call me whicheva’ you prefer.”

Bucky looks at his daughter, stunned and mouth agape, “Are you mocking me?”

She furrows her small brow, faking offense, but she’s crossing her fingers behind her back where only you can see, “Of course not.”

“Were you listening this whole time, Winnie?” you ask her quietly and she grins, nodding rapidly, as hyper as the energizer bunny. You give her a small, secret fist bump, both sharing a small smile.

“You two will get along perfectly,” James rolls his eyes.

You’re braiding back Winnifred’s hair into plaited pigtails, tying off the ends with violet ribbon you brought from home, when Bucky walks down the staircase, work bag hanging off his broad shoulder. He blinks hard when he sees you, smiling with blushing cheeks, eyes tired. “Oh, hey, you’re early.”

“I also made you a sack lunch,” you hold up the paper bag with one hand, and fix up Winnie’s hair with the other.  

You’ve been here a week now and it’s slowly become routine, you getting here early even though you don’t have to, going out of your way to do nice things for him because you know he needs it, and him blushing, oblivious to your affections but growing in his own.

His hand brushes yours when he accepts the lunch from your grasp, calloused fingers touching yours.

“Goodbye, sweetheart, I love you. Be good for y/n and I’ll see you at lunch,” he kisses the top of her head and almost like it’s out of habit, sleep deprivation, confusion, or just him plain wanting to, he kisses the top of your head too.

You look up at him, surprised, and Winnifred practically squeals, deep color filling your face.

He closes his eyes in embarrassment, clearly exhausted and delirious, “I didn’t mean to do that, I’m so sorry, it’s a force of habit. I’ve made you uncomfortable, haven’t I? I’m s-”

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” you assure him, laying your hand on his forearm, subconsciously running your thumb over the skin when you try to relax his anxious rambling. You laugh a little, he’s like a puppy in more ways than one, “I’m not uncomfortable, here...” you get up off where you’re sitting on the couch, Win watching you expectantly.

You stand up on the tips of your toes, seeing as he’s six foot and then some, and kiss the top of his head, gentle and doting. “There you go, now we’re even,” you share a small smile with him, eyes alight.

He searches your face for something but you don’t know what, finding that unknown thing in your eyes before edging a soft smirk and chuckling, “Thank you. That... oddly helped.”

You grin brilliantly and Winnifred jumps on your back from the cushion on the couch, both of you sharing a laugh, “You’re welcome, I knew it would. Have a good day at work, we’ll be here.”

“You too,” he runs a hand through his behead of hair, looking at the two of you adoringly before walking over to the door.

“This isn’t work for me,” you say happily. “I love this spider monkey,” you scrunch your face up and stick out your tongue at her, Winnifred copying your silly expression.

She puts her small hands on your face and shakes you around, you toss her over your shoulder in retaliation. Bucky watches on at the adorable exchange and his heart aches in a way he’s never felt like that before, not his ex wife, not his past girlfriends, not the whirlwind of dames he went through in the 40′s army, not drunken one night stands he thought about calling the next day, and it scares him. You. And his attraction to you soon grows to much more than just that.

“Bye,” he sort of half smiles, heart beating out of his chest when he sees you give him a passing smile as he walks out, both of you still grinning even after the other leaves.

~~~

He’s sitting out on the patio when you’re about to leave for the day, just after putting Winnifred down for her nap. She had been clinging to your tee shirt until you broke down to her begging in telling her a story. There’s a bottle of beer in his hand, and you’re struck at how the moonlight is cascading down his sitting figure, how pleasing he is to look at, rocking back and forth in his white rocking chair. The paint on the old seat is chipping, old, and creaking under his weight, masking the sound of you closing the door behind you, tugging on your bag.

He sees you anyway, always taught when he was a soldier that he needs to look out and keep being alert at all times in case of an attack, that it’s either him or the enemy. His eyes are glazed over when he looks at you like he’s somewhere else before he shakes himself out of it, gulping audibly in your presence when tucks a falling strand of your hair behind his ear. He tied his hair up in a bun, the occasional tendril escaping the elastic.

His five o’clock shadow is more prominent out here in the near dark, stars speckling the sky above you both.

“Hi,” you exhale, running a hand through your hair so it’s out of your face, wearing a crooked grin Bucky can’t bring himself to want to fix. It’s so perfectly you. “I’m sorry if I interrupted your alone time, I know it’s hard to come by as of lately,” you chuckle, nervous beyond repair, almost losing your balance just standing here. “I’ll go and leave you alone-”

“Stay.”

It’s a single word and he says it with such gentleness and permanence you can’t say no. Not that you’d want to anyway, you’ll always say yes.

You nod, “I’d love to, but... are you sure?”

“Very,” he assures you, nodding towards the porch swing beside him, swaying in that late night breeze, curling itself around you and licking your bones, that warmth your feeling being something else. Someone else.

“Alright,” you concede and walk over to sit down on the swing, not needing much convincing.

You lay down on the swing, bare legs kicked up in the air when your jean shorts ride up ever so slightly, the hot sun in the day now biting you in the ass because the temperature has changed so drastically, nipping at your skin. His eyes fall over your toned legs and he’s intoxicated. You let out a long sigh you’ve been holding in all day, feeling the ice cold glass of a beer bottle in your outstretched hand, and you yelp slightly, opening your eyes and taking the beer he’s given to you with a small, gracious smile.

“Rough day?” he asks, taking a swig of his own drink.

“No, not at all, Winnifred’s the perfect kid,” you gush, twisting off the top of the bottle and sipping the drink. “I just never sleep. What with college and stuff.”

He smiles at the compliment to his daughter, agreeing completely, “Where do you go?”

“Community college down the street by my apartment, I only go part time, but it’s still... time consuming. I stayed up all night studying for upcoming exams.”

“Today isn’t so good for everyone I guess,” he nurses his drink, swirling it around absentmindedly. “Today’s an anniversary of mine.”

You frown a little at that, forgetting the idea of him being with someone, that familiar feeling of a hole in your chest, sipping the beer, “You and... your wife?”

His lips slightly tug upward at your change in tone, “Of our divorce...”

“Oh,” your eyes widen the tiniest bit, swirling your drink. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” his eyes soften at your kind words. You’re good, too good. For him, anyway. “I walked in on her... and my brother, after coming home from work. One month after Winnifred was born, she was asleep that night, they did it just one room away from my little girl...” he clenches his fist around his bottle and the glass fractures. 

“She saw me and I didn’t say anything. I just looked at her. She said it was because I wasn’t angry that she was doing this. Because I never feel anything. I walked out, no emotion, nothing. So maybe she was right about that,” he laughs dryly, scratching the back of his neck, another strand falling across his face. “She left with him that night and I haven’t seen any of them since, maybe the occasional Facebook post of her and her new family but... all Winnie knows is that she’s gone, she asks me a lot if it’s her fault.”

“You don’t deserve that,” you say tenderly, as if cooing an injured animal, leaning forward. Your small shirt rides up slightly, revealing the soft pudge of your stomach when you reach out to put your comforting hand on his arm. He’s swept under your spell. “Winnifred doesn’t either.”

“It was tough at the time,” he admits honestly, baring his soul to you. “But I’ve moved on since, some things just aren’t...” you two lock eyes. “-meant to be, I guess.”

“She’s what we women like to call a cunt,” you tell him, your attempt to lighten up the mood. “Just look up the definition and you’ll see her picture, with your brother right behind her.”

He laughs, genuinely this time, eyes crinkling in the corners kind of laugh, the contagious one that gets you started too. It feels good, makes you both forget about your troubles. Just you two, under starlight, on this painted, wooden porch, in the beginning of June. Because you can’t be bothered with anything else.

“Thank you,” he praises, raising the bottle to his pink mouth. “I see why Winnifred adores you so much. It took dozens of some odd babysitters, but, hey, we got you now.”

“Well... I don’t normally swear around my bosses,” you flush in the slightest. 

“I’ll allow it just this once,” he takes a sip, looking at you from the corner of his eyes, lips wrapped around the rim and coated with liquor when they curl at the edges. 

“You’re too kind,” you breathe a chuckle and take your own sip, meeting eyes over a shared bottle of beer in both your fists. 

“You’re the first to say so.”

“With a heart like yours, Buck... I highly doubt that,” you stand up from the porch swing, backpack in hand again. No one’s called him that since Steve and girlfriends in the 40′s, but he likes the way you say it much better. He can just hear the smug voice of his best friend now. From when he called him while you were upstairs.

“You like her, Buck,” he told him, that damned smile searingly loud even over the phone. “I can tell, haven’t heard you talk about a dame like this since...” he paused. “Since no one, actually.”

“I can’t like her,” Bucky had reiterated, to himself mostly, trying to convince himself what his heart was telling him otherwise. “She babysits my kid, she’s ten years younger than me... she won’t like an old man like me.”

“Since when as age been an obstacle for you? And if we’re getting technical, it’s more like a 110 years younger.”

“Well it is now,” Bucky chuckled. “And since when have you been such a smartass?”

“I’ve had a good teacher,” he snarked. “Just give it a chance. Or the next time you gush about her, I’ll go and tell the doll myself.”

“You’re not allowed here after all that polite shit you drilled into my daughter’s head. She’s a little you now.”

“I taught her manners,” Steve laughed. “Sue me.”

“If I could... believe me, I would.”

“Thank you,” he looks up at you from where your standing. “For everything.”

“Of course,” you smile and he stands up himself, knowing he should go inside. “But I uh... I should get home, it’s getting late.”

“Yeah, I guess it is,” he finally realizes, stuffing his hands deep in his jeans pockets, like a lovestruck teenager all over again, unsure what to do. “And you know... as long as I’ve been around, one of the only benefits of being a super solider, I’ve never met someone that talks as much as you do.”

You laugh, flustered and bright from the summer night air biting at the button of your nose, “I don’t know whether to be flattered or insulted.”

“It’s a good thing,” he says and you gravitate towards each other. “I’ve gotten sick of the quiet.” 

You look down at your sneakers, “I’m glad I could be of service.”

You’re both so close, noses slight brushing when he’s inadvertently backed you up into the wooden railing. His hand opens and closes, before closing tightly into a fist. 

He looks you over, as if he’s holding himself back from reaching out, wanting so much of you, but it’s never enough, “Goodnight, y/n. Get home safely, alright?”

Your lips dip downward, a frown on your lips that he can’t help but take notice of when he dismisses you, but he wants to protect you. He doesn’t want to do something you both would regret. A monster like him.

You bounce back quickly with a small smile, “Oh, right. Goodnight, Mr. Barnes,” and your eyes linger on his face before you’re walking down the steps.

~~~

James walks through the backyard, it’s a hot summer day, now in mid July, and you and Winnifred are running through the sprinkler. Your bare feet slap against the wet grass, green on your heels. He watches how your skin glistens in the sun with sweat and sun screen, sun burned cheeks and hair that clings to your face in tendrils. He can’t keep his eyes off of you, a coral, pink bikini top and jean shorts, the slightest of bows tied at the top from your string bottoms. He itches to get his hands on it, to pull, to see the supple skin underneath. His eyes fall over the dips and curves of your breasts and hips, your waist, your ass. 

You run a hand over your hair, getting it out of your face and eyes to look at him with a brilliant, sunshine grin, wringing out the water in your locks, “Hey, you’re home early.”

“I-I got off a little early today because there was a heat warning, what are you guys doing outside?” he drops his work bag by the door and walks towards you both, arms folded over his chest.

“Playing in the sprinkler!” Winnifred answers, throwing her hands up, when the water hits her and she giggles freely. “Duh!”

“Really?” his eyebrows raise, mumbling smart aleck under his breath with a tiny, turned up smile. “And why is that?”

“Cause it’s fun,” you grin, crooked and bright. 

You walk over to him, extending your hand, and he looks at the gesture, suspicious, a teasing smile forming. “I won’t bite... I promise.”

You take his hand and pull him to you, stepping through the grass and stringing him along until you’re in the sprinkler and he’s soaked. His white Henley shirt clings to his tanned muscle and your eyes are anywhere but, too keep yourself sane. He looks at you, looming over, running a hand back through his slick hair, water droplets falling from his long lashes and he’s laughing, grabbing you and throwing you over his shoulder like a rag doll, one muscular arm wrapped around your legs. They dangle off his torso when you kick, punching his back to put you down, but your sides split from laughing, so loud and obnoxiously. 

“I wanna be carried! I wanna be carried!” Winnifred giggles excitedly, holding onto your foot where it’s hanging.

He sets you down, soft breasts to his hard chest, his hands on your waist when he puts you back on solid ground. You lock eyes with him and your fingers itch to reach out and touch him, run your hands through his hair and tug him closer to you. 

He opens his mouth to speak, inhaling sharply, “Y/n, I-”

“Y/n! He has cooties, come play with me instead!” Winnifred yells, loud and jumping up and down.

“You heard the girl,” you smile, sad and dreamy eyed. “You’re contagious.”

“Go on, then,” he laughs, looking at you like he’s about to say something again, but ultimately decided against it. Your face falls at the missed opportunity, “I’ll see you inside.”

~~~

Winnifred fell asleep across Bucky’s lap, curled up within herself under a weighted, fluffy blanket, head against his chest. You smile at the adorable moment, how his face has softened around her as the television drones on of a Disney movie you turned on that neither of you paid attention to. Ten minutes in and Winnifred was snoring away, dead asleep after laying on her father’s lap. 

“I’ll bring her upstairs,” he clears his throat as he picks her up, small against his broad and muscular frame. “If uh... you want to come with,” his lips kick up and you share it, both dreary and dog tired.

“Of course,” you yawn, stretching out your limbs, and you follow after him up the stairs, watching as he doesn’t struggle to carry her at all up the staircase.

You both step into her room as he lays her down in her Frozen themed, princess sized bed, Elsa and Anna on her pillow and large, cloudy blanket, fuzzy to the touch. She snuggles herself into the cozy mattress and smiles into her pillow, flushed with sleep and activity from the day. You and Bucky’s eyes meet over her, and to anyone on the outside looking in, you’re a happy, little family, the wholesome sitcom kind. 

He doesn’t mind that image at all.

The two of you walk out of the room after turning on her sound machine and glow worm night light, shutting the door softly behind you. You press your back against her door, hand still on the handle like it’s tethering you to reality, keeping you on solid ground. 

“This is probably... a really odd request but could you stay with me in bed... until I fall asleep?” he asks, bashful and hesitant. “I’ve been having these... night terrors lately, flashbacks, and it’s hard to sleep, so I thought maybe if someone was there with me, someone I trust then-”

“I’m happy to do it,” you smirk at his boyish smile and how timid he’s become all of a sudden, walking alongside him to his . “But if I fall asleep waiting for you to do it, don’t blame me.”

He chuckles, deep from his chest when he opens the door to his bedroom, leading you inside. You rush over and jump onto the mattress, plopping down on the soft blankets and pillows, watching him roll his eyes in a fond, affectionate sort of way that has your heart working overtime. He lays down beside you, chest rising and falling in one deep breath, none of you wanting to fall asleep despite your exhaustion. You want to savor the moment. Him and you so close.

You sit up, hair falling angelically over your face, a curtain over your eyes that shields you both from the outside world. His eyes drift to the soft pout of your lips, pink and how your tongue drags across the pillow of your bottom lip, curling at the edges when you see where his eyes lay. His eyes then drift off to what he hopes to be sleep, breathing slowing as he gracefully slips into slumber. You watch his hardened features soften as he does, lips parted ever so slightly, dark eyelashes kissing his cheeks, and you know that this is love.

It’s not more than fifteen minutes into his sleep that he shoots upright, sweat dripping down his face, coating his hair and skin, now matted on his clothes, and he’s hyperventilating, eyes glazed over with visions of his past. You wake up soon after, startled by his harsh breaths and incoherent mumbles, whispers of a former life.

“Please... please don’t. She’s all I have,” he says, voice breaking but at the same time he’s robotic, not awake, and a tear slips from his eye. He’s shaking in his covers and you know what he’s dreaming about. 

“Don’t hurt Winnifred, please, I’m the monster, not her. S-she shouldn’t be hurt, take me instead,” his heart seizes in his chest. He calls out your name in his tired voice, broken sobs escaping. 

You throw your arms around him, close to tears yourself, clutching him to your chest to wake him from the nightmare, cooing softly in his ear until his breathing calms and he’s silent.

“I’m okay, Winnifred’s okay, we just put her to bed, Buck. It’s just a dream, it’s not real...” you run a hand through his brunette locks, teasing the scalp and rubbing small stars into his back, bringing him slowly back in to the present and out of his own dark, warped thoughts. 

You move to put your hands on either side of his face, his eyes finally back to their normal glimmer, now awake. You brush your thumb against the stubble on his jaw, fingers massaging into the skin, “I’m here, just keep looking at me.”

He looks up at you, wide eyed and cautious of his every move, and to calm him down further, or possibly just to indulge your own wants, you kiss his forehead. Pressing lips against his cheek, his nose, his jaw, his temples, small groans escaping him when he takes your face in his hands and crashes his mouth against yours and it’s a symphony, harmony of moving lips. 

“No, no... we can’t,” he whispers, just barely in front of your lips. 

“Why?” you look at him, questioning.

“It-it’s not right...” he groans at the desperate expression on your face, hair mussed and lips swollen, throwing all caution to the wind. 

“Stop talking,” you silence him, shaking your head with a soft smile, and your lips are on his again.

He greedily swallows your moans when his hands fall down your body, each and every ample curve in the palm of his hand. His hands slides under your thighs, gripping the smooth flesh and picking you up so you straddle his hips, legs wrapped around him. You grind your ass into him, purring, his breath quickening along with your heaving chest. It’s hard to imagine, wanting something for so long and finally getting it, like reaching out for light and finally grasping it between your fingers, that starlight you’ve been searching for since that night on the porch with him. And it’s better than you dreamed it up to be. He breaks away, both of you open mouthed and you kiss the dimple that appears when his lips twitch upwards while looking at you.

You trail your fingers up his metal arm and he feels the pressure of your hand, the warmth of your skin and the sudden press of lips against the cool steel when you kiss his palm. 

He flips you both over so he’s above you, stubble scratching against your neck when he places sloppy, open mouthed kisses down your skin and sucks bruises on your most sensitive pulse points, a frenzy of tongue and teeth. A man untamed.

Bucky resurfaces and looks at you, lust and sincerity in his gaze, hungry, “Are you sure?”

“About what, Buck?”

“Us.”

“Unquestionably.”

[byul-bit-arae]

Boyfriend Taeyong

“When I fall in love, it will be forever.  Or I’ll never fall in love. In a restless world like this is–   Love is ended before it’s begun. And too many moonlight kisses, Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun."

*Silently slides this across the table and leaves* I'll just leave this here.

.

.

Ok but

Ok ok ok 

*Grabs tissues, blankets, desserts* gotta get real ready for this now

*Pushes up virtual glasses bc I always forget to wear mine shh we don't talk about that* boyfriend taeyong you say?

Well I saY GTFO I DONT WANNA DIE OF TOO MUCH FEELS SIS

Ok jk come back ere I would die everyday for one (1) human being and that's Lee Taeyong

.. wait wat

Anyway

This kid dude is literally t h e best bf you could ever have like what ????

You see all those shitty posts/texts/ads about perfect boyfriends??? Yeah just like that

Or maybe better

Way better

Taeyong would love you with A L L OF HIS HEART 

He's basically a five-year-old who only sees you, and like, nothing else.

Except for chocolate but like, nothing else

Like before you guys start dating

And that would probably be a GOOD while bc this pure lil child doesn't even know what dating is (no I'm serious have you seen that article)

Srsly tho 

Not just that but he seems to me like the type to take relationships very seriously 

Like blind dates and one night stands wouldn't be his thing, he wouldn't fancy them and just, no

He probably believes in those fictional perfect love stories

And is well aware it might take time to find the right person and is okay with waiting his whole life for it

He just secretly hopes it's soon k

And then he meets u

And wow Lee Taeyong the quiet cold-ish dude who?

More like LEE TAEYONG THE CUTEST FLUSTERED AWKWARD BALL OF FLUFF

When he saw you the first time he could swear he got like star struck or something

He gets all flustered at everything you do and he doesn't know why

Like WHAT IS HAPPENING WHY AM I BEING LIKE THIS WHAT IS THIS 

BODY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

BRAIN WHAT IS THIS MESS

HEART STOP POUNDING LIKE CRAZY OKAY THANKS

Like you smile and he's a mess, you just sit there and he's a mess, you pout and he's a mess, you look at him and he's a M E S S ™

And he doesn't even know why bc he never felt like this towards someone

He'd probably meet you through one of the members

Yuta, your close friend, finally decided to introduce you to his 'brothers'

He calls them his brothers but then it took him like three years to introduce you guys bc he's one hell of an overprotective best friend, or mom, over you

"Hey guys I can't believe I'm doing this but this is my little cute precious best friend Y/N and no you can't talk to her"

"Um yuta pls calm down"

Anyways

So the first meeting goes on great I mean the guys are all super kind and funny 

And so you start meeting them more often!!

And Taeyong--

istg this kid--

Like he sees you, and some fictional chibi monster starts gnawing at his insides

#SaveLeeTaeyong2k18

Like you noticed how he's kind of quiet around you and stuff but then yuta reassured you saying he's just a bit introverted and it'd take him time to open up

Bc tbh you actually thought he didn't really fancy your presence?? Since he looked really quiet and basically expressionless? and you'd like catch him glaring holes into your head from the corner of your eye??

BUT GURL LITTLE DID YOU KNOW THAT HE IS JUST WAY TOO WHIPPED HE KEEPS STARING DROOLING AT YOU

IT'S JUST THAT HIS POKER FACE LOOKS A BIT INTIMIDATING

BUT HE'S REALLY ALL UNDER YOUR SPELL OK LIKE YOU'RE SOME FALLEN ANGEL OR IDK OK.

ANYWAYS.

So it'd take him some time to start being comfortable around you

Considering that he's an introvert; a whipped introvert to be exact

But eventually you guys will get friendlier

And that would make him know more stuff about you and wow he never thought he could like you even more but here we are ??

Also the way you take care of the dreamies just !!! Makes his heart go !!!!!!

You just find them really cute and feel the need to protect them from all evil

Also winwin, bc take notes, winwin invented cute 

And how you'd be especially close to mark 

And you'd be his fav noona too

Aw.

And how you're so so kind w the older guys too

And Taeyong just-- admires you so so much

Bc he loves his friends so dearly and the fact that you love them too and take care of his beloved ones makes him so happy, he just appreciates it a lot

And legit keeps staring at you from a distance with a sweet smile as you put a scarf over jisung before he goes out or you hand winwin a new book about Korean poetry that you bought for him

And then probably Johnny passes by and lightly smacks his head to wake him from his day dreams and whispers

"Dude stop that's so creepy"

Oh btw

Everyone in the dorm knows about his crush on you

E V E R Y O N E .

Probably even their pets

This child is so bad at not getting flustered at the mere thought of you someone protecc

And the guys tease him the whole time omg

Like even the younger ones

He swears to ground them like ten times a day but ends up forgetting bc he'd be so flustered

AND SO ONE DAY 

You probably get left in the dorm alone w him

Don't ask me how yuta agreed to that ok I might be the author but evEN IDK K BYE.

And so you start chatting

Probably while cleaning the mess made by another seventeen wild horses

And you both find it funny how at first you were so so distant and awkward

And now here you are casually picking up chenle's underwear from the floor and throwing it with the laundry

And you tell him how you thought he was unfriendly at first and he laughs it off

And he tells you how he watched how you treated his brothers before opening up to you

And you're like ooOooOOoH so that's why, I thought you were glaring @ me and you actually hated me

And ty would literally snap like ARE YOU KIDDING ME I HAVE NEVER BEEN THIS DEEP IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE MY WHOLE LIFE---

And you're like wait what

And he's like wait what.

DING! NEW LEVEL OF SOFT UNLOCKED

HE WOULD BE LITERALLY FREAKING OUT AND NOT KNOWING WHAT TO SAY HIS BRAIN WOULD BE ALL LIKE UNKNOWN ERROR ABORT MISSION A B O R T MISSIO--

"Taeyong it's okay I like you too

It's actually really relieving since I thought you didn't feel the same so I was a bit gloomy"

And then he apologizes for the misunderstanding

And at that moment jeno barges in and he's like um sorry am I interrupting something

And before you say anything he's like oh shit I'm really interrupting something sorry BYEEEE

But then he opens the door again and he's like okay ONE last question hyung did you ask her out yet

And ty is like jeNO I SWEAR TO GOD

And then when jeno leaves bc he realizes he needs to run for his life or else he'll spend the night in the streets,

It's really awkward before you're like

"so uh.. how about we grab some coffee? Like a first date?"

And taeyong tries his best to muster up a good answer until the word "date" leaves your mouth and he's like 1010101010011101 error shutdown sorry.

Anyways so you go out to this cute coffee shop and that's your first awkward date full of tingling feels and chibi monsters gnawing on your insides.

You probably frequent that coffee shop a lot more often after that

Bc coffee shop dates w taeyong are just so adorable

And he's adorable

*mark silently dragging my crying whipped ass away*

Arcade dates are also your thing

Since he's a little bit too obsessed with games

He loves museums too so he'd bring you to a lot of them

Especially art museums

And you're like why should we go when I've got a whole piece of art in front of me

And he blushes and smiles

Late late night dates

Where you just walk around like fools at like three in the morning bc neither of you could sleep

And you probably grab some ice cream

Okay I'm making it sound like you'd be such an outdoor couple when you're not lmao

Okay not rlly

But my point is that you'd prefer cuddling in bed all day over any of those

Not only in bed but really everywhere

Y'all are just so cute and soft

Skinship skinship and a lot of skinship

He can't stay like ten seconds without touching you

idk like he has to grab your hand or hug you or have you hug him or juST BE IN PHYSICAL CONTACT W YOU OK LIKE HE MIGHT DIE OR SMG OK

But there are some small cute things you notice he likes

Like back hugging you when you're doing literally anything

Like you'd be cooking or washing the dishes or freaking wiping away the dust or just looking out the window and he'd waddle to you as if his skinship'o'meter is hitting a critically low level and he needs urgent recharge

He'd then slowly wrap his arms around you so so gently yet you still feel like his whole world depends on that hug

90% of the time he'd rest his chin on your shoulder

Okay not his chin but technically press his lips against your shoulder, crook of neck, neck, collarbones, hairline, the skin behind your ear, your jawline, basically anywhere he could reach

Like they aren't even kisses his lips would just ever so softly ghost around your skin and his nose would nuzzle your crooks

You're dead if you're ticklish

He also likes intertwining fingers

Like not even all fingers but two or three

He'd love link your index and ring fingers as you walk, lay around and whenever he holds your hand which is often

He love love loves when you play with his hair

Kittyong anybody?

Esp as you praise him

Or you cup his cheeks and then your hands slowly creep to his ears and then to play with the hair on the back of his head

Or simply when you're laying down as he rests on your chest

He looooves doing that

Like he doesn't even care if you're boobless he just really loves that 

Sometimes while having really deep conversations

Or when you're cheering him up if he's ever having a rough time

Like you'd gently caress his hair as you tell him all the things you love about him

If he's really really down he'd silently cry and hugs you tighter 

And then end up falling asleep to your soft soothing voice and touch

He's usually very cheerful and hyper though

You'd love spending time in the kitchen tgt

Flour fights aren't that common bc he's usually tidy but they do happen so watch out

He loves cooking for you

And LOVES when you cook for him

Like even the simplest things

You don't really have to be that good at cooking like you'd crack him an egg and he'd be as happy as if you've served him a full course meal

He'd teach you how to cook but wouldn't let you do it like tf

He says to use those skills when he's not home

Although whenever he's leaving for some time he'd stack up the fridge w food that would probably last a year

Very random kisses

Like very random listen to me

You'd be like watching TV or something and he'd suddenly turn and peck your cheek then go back to watching

And you're like ?????

And he's like nothing I just wanted to do it

And you're like ????? uwu

Man I could talk about him all day but no one can afford this 

This is already way longer than all my other boyfriend posts wsdswdsdwdswdws

He just wants to be loved okay give my boi some sarang

Just kidding give him all the sarang lmao

.

.

No really I'm serious.

[sleepymarmot]

I still have about 200 queued posts (bear with me... and sorry followers on mobile), but I want to quickly publish some of my post-binging thoughts before the new episode comes out. (Because I get overwhelmed by other people’s opinions and can’t remember what my own were unless I write them down. It’s easy to recall which parts I simply loved for what they are because other people did too and I can reblog their posts; it’s harder to not forget my own perspective outside of that.)

I didn’t actually expect to post these opinions because I don’t feel comfortable criticizing TAZ the way I tear apart big franchises like ME. But I did write it down, so what the hell. Let’s start with the biggest piece of negativity then. I can't name a favourite arc but I think the last place is Petals to the Metal. The racing sequence was spectacular enough that I didn't mind the pacing that much, but the final episode was really disappointing. A combination of not actually explicitly confirming the pairing in canon (I seriously expected that would be the culmination of the arc) AND Bury Your Gays (yes, I know Griffin dealt with the feedback gracefully, that doesn't fix the actual story though) AND some extreme railroading AND deus ex machina/Power of Love (at least the latter was retconnet as in not retroactive continuity but retroactive context). That actually put me off the show for some time. I think this moment encapsulates my problems with Hurley's writing pretty well. She really comes off as a Mary Sue written by a self-aware male writer who feels the need to put female characters on a pedestal -- certainly not the most objectionable phenomenon, but still makes my eyes roll. I feel the same about Carey and Killian in The Crystal Kingdom and the recurring remarks about "competent women". (I mean, I understand the gameplay reason for that, it's not that I'm asking for super detailed fights between NPCs, but I didn't like the way it sounded in the story.) Thankfully Carey got some development with Magnus, Killian had a good introduction before that glorification thing started cropping up, and their relationship's good obviously; plus, thankfully, Lucretia is completely free from this (she actually might be my fave NPC in terms of writing).

I think my least favourite part of The Suffering Game is the final past bosses battle? It's not just repetitive -- this repetition, needless in this case, devalues the other instances of our heroes facing the past. The first big one was Noelle (great: surprising, touching, important for the overall plot as we now know), then we had the three robots (I was pretty delighted to see Jenkins and Magic Brian again) even it was more about combat than meaningful facing of past mistakes, then the destruction of Phandolin was seen again in The Eleventh Hour, and only a bit later the setting of the first arc will be revisited once more. So even not counting this scene, it was starting to get a bit navel-gazey, and the complete lack of story relevance of that battle diluted things even more. It kind of sounded like running out of ideas -- I'd prefer any other challenge or just a repeat of the random monster generation. (Btw I totally expected to see the crab from Rockport Limited in that lineup. It's kind of special to me because back I went "Ah a floating crab, yeah feel you boys, I hate fighting Praetorians too, at least this thing doesn't shoot lase--" and then it started shooting fire, lol.)

Back to what I wanted to talk about: I have lots of thoughts/feelings about consequences re: the last episodes. The spoilers I've seen gave me so much anxiety! Like I've read that Magnus loses memory so I completely expected him to lose everything. So I spent a lot of time in complete dread, and when I read "Magnus forgets" in the summary my heart dropped, and then it wasn't that bad at all so I thought "that's it?" and felt relieved until the fucking clone tank. At which point I thought "No, this is it" especially because all of the players interpreted it that way. So I was very surprised and relieved that he kept everything, and that Griffin was so kind to him. But that kinda brought me to another problem -- that the new body undid Magnus's sacrifices. He didn't lose a finger or 10 years of life; the only loss was the identity of his nemesis which a) is a sad thing and he might be happier without it -- I would; and b) the boys promised to take care of that. Meanwhile, Taako and especially Merle have to live with their sacrifices. That's unfair. I was pretty thrilled when I realized the sacrifices were For Real, and was feeling real dread and anxiety about them (can't say if in a wholly good way) and I don't like devaluing that. Though of course I'm pretty jazzed that the character who is at the moment my favourite got treated so well. That scene was cathartic as hell! But back to the sacrifices: I'm intrigued by the problem of balance of hurting the character in a way that's good for narrative and/or game balance (yeah the intent of "let's nerf them a bit" was easy to see) but not compromising them as a piece of writing. I didn't give a shit about max health or dexterity penalties, but the story significant things about losing body parts and especially memories sounded brutal and cruel to me. I actually laughed when during one of the commercial breaks Griffin said something like "I hope this isn't causing you too much anxiety" because I was rushing through this arc because of that anxiety! But in the end, as it often happens, the half-misinterpreted spoilers made everything sound worse than it actually was. And I was very glad and relieved to hear Griffin specifically clarify that he's not going to take away important parts of a character.

But despite what I just said, when I started The Suffering Game arc I was actually amazed because it was second arc in a row built around my personal favorite tropes! I really appreciate Doctor Who-ish journey through genres (that doesn't take itself seriously but also has an epic underlying plot. All my fandoms are the same...) Murder on the Rockport Limited also counts in that category. So if I had to pick a favorite, they'd probably be among the candidates? Well I don't know how to count Reunion Tour for that. I really liked The Eleventh Hour, time travel/time loop stories are like my #1 fave. And it's a closed room mystery too (like Rockport Limited). That was the point where I started listening much faster because I needed to learn the truth. (Also, the Lunar Interlude before that arc, with the three separate stories, was freaking revolutionary and started a new level of character development for the show in general.) But I was kind of disappointed by the lack of a Holmes speech-type explanation of everything in the end. Because a big part of enjoyment was the expectation that it'll all click together beautifully in the end -- and some pieces still didn't fit. I'm still not sure if I missed something or that wasn't explained. Why was Isaak, like our heroes and unlike everyone else in the town, aware of the temporal loops and free to act? What was the interaction between Taako's spell and the code word -- did the spell have any effect other than almost drowning everyone, would "Junebug" have worked by itself? I had some more questions I thing, but right when I was going to pause/think/rest, everything was swept away by the freaking Red Robe Magnus cliffhanger, so I continued to run forward internally screaming "Explain! Explain!" like a Dalek, and then that was joined by the aforementioned Suffering Game anxiety. And that's the story how I marathoned the last part of the show three or more times faster than I planned to.

I really loved listening to TTAZZ, both of them, it was really good meta! I think I started to appreciate the show more after the first one. I can see where the fan criticism re: representation is coming from, but I myself also belong to the category of people who can never visualise their own (or anyone's, really) characters and therefore really love the freedom of interpretation. I'm also a bit sad about the commentary on racism in the new one, which, in addition to the comments about the Taco Quest in the first one, made me pretty sure that storyline/running joke is not coming back. I found it really funny back then in the beginning of the show -- more so because I, myself, have no freaking idea what tacos are actually like. I mean, we might have some mexican food places over here, but I've never been to one. And I intentionally didn't look it up after starting the show because it was funnier and kind of immersive this way lol. But they sound pretty committed to non-committance about the enthnicities, and raising the topic in canon again would force the issue, so I think they're just quietly abandoning it. Story-wise, I'd love to hear something like "Taako had invented a dish and named it after himself, but the voidfish baby ate the recipe so he couldn't recreate it until now" because I'm a sucker for justifying jokes and tying them into the main plot/emotional storyline. But in general I'd prefer any option that offends people the least. I was kind of surprised when Justin talked about abandoning Taako's early "dumb" characterisation, because I hadn't actually thought it was "officially" thrown away. I assumed Taako was just really bad at paying attention, and got better at managing that as a part of organic character development. I actually found that kind of relatable, plus "absent-minded professor/wizard" is a classic trope. Also TTAZZ made me wish even harder for the lost awesome adventure of Magnus and Kravitz in the astral plane. And it was already slightly souring my excitement about the totally awesome & touching scene we got instead.

I didn't really get the exposition about the planes in The Crystal Kingdom, and the long explanation in the latest two episodes require more attention than I gave them. Hope today's episode will make things clearer. Some things I hope to hear explained soon:

Why has Merle died more times than Magnus or Taako?

Also, looking forward to the promised explanation of how Gundren can be Merle's blood relative lol

Why was the Chalice so much more self-aware and civil than the other Relics? Is it related to the fact that its creator has some special connection to the (a?) voidfish?

Was Magnus a wizard before? Being a lich, creating a Grand Relic... If so, why doesn't he have magic now?

If Magnus is a lich, can he one day die and stay in the astral plane with Julia like an ordinary human, like he wanted? If not, that's a pretty big and tragic turn of events for him. (Granted, this might be more of a D&D mechanics question...)

(I actually just found a Reddit thread starting with the same question, discussing whether all 7 are really liches or not, so these two points might not be even valid haha)

(I also saw someone theorize that Lup invented the taco recipe -- and damn I really do want to see that now. Imagine trying to figure out something and later realize that it was created by your dead sister who named that thing after you.)

(I was confused about LichBarry’s reveal because I thought at the end of PTTM he was mind-controlling Captain Captain Bane to poison THB. Someone had the same question and another person answered that Barry’s spell was only to make Captain drink the poison, and the murder attempt was on him. I totally didn’t get that. Between this and my question about “Junebug”, either mind-control spells are not very clearly explained in this show, I suck at understanding them, or both.)

(Shit, this list has transformed from future episodes wishlist into reactions to Reddit lol)

Since I was talking about Taako and Lup, here’s another passing thought: remember how Taako immediately wanted to be Like Them when he saw the lich duo? You know, the elven brother and sister?!

Not related to anything, but I just realized I can wear jeans as a stealth fandom reference and it's delightful :D