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cecilxa · 2 years ago

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hi is it alright if i request kaeya, diluc and thoma (separate) with a reader who feels very insignificant next to them and their achievements, hurt to comfort pls <333

i see you, i cherish you

contents: hurt/comfort, fluff, established relationships, gn!reader, monologues in each part so have fun with that haha

cw: negative thoughts, overall sadness and insecurites, feelings of emptiness, crying, food

a/n: first of all, ty anon for being incredibly patient! i'm so so sorry this took so long to fulfill, but i really hope you enjoy it nonetheless!

kaeya– pavo ocellus

Even with one eye, you consider Kaeya to have achieved and gone through so much you couldn’t even imagine happening to yourself. From losing his parents to another parent, and on top of that, his rather- for lack of better words- rocky relationship with his brother, he’s gone through so much and emerged so strong. This comes to the problem at hand. You. Even though he may not have such a clean and honest reputation, people still respect him, evident through their affirming glances and the straightening of their backs whenever he walks by. You, on the other hand, are merely thought of as an accessory, an addition to his ever-growing collection of precious items, tagging along for the sake of it.

It’s draining to keep thinking like this, you know, but you can’t help the thoughts that constantly invade your mind, constantly reminding you of how insignificant you are compared to Kaeya. You’ve done nothing of value; you’ve done nothing to help the people of Mondstadt, and you’ve done nothing for yourself at this point! He seems like such a respected figure, and you seem so little compared to him, you might as well just live your life inside forever and no one would notice you were gone.

Tears start escaping from your eyes, and you don’t bother to try and catch them with your mouth like you did when you were younger, because what’s the point? You’re going to eventually start crying again, and again and again. You’re just not important enough and you haven’t done enough and you just feel so small, and so empty. Curling up into the foetal position, you let the sadness wash over you.

—

Kaeya hurries back to your shared home. He’s been looking forward to this, the thought of holding you in your arms and being able to kiss your delightful mouth is enough motivation for him to be tying up any loose ends his (interrogations) job may bring and finishing up the stacks of paperwork his other colleagues have piled up out of laziness. Honestly, some people these days have no moral integrity!

Unlocking the door, and walking in, he immediately notices how quiet it is. That’s strange, considering how he can usually find you either in the kitchen, preparing some form of dinner whenever he comes back home late, or in the hallway right in front of him, welcoming him back home instead. There’s no one in either of those rooms, and when he calls out your name and no one calls back, he begins to get worried. He can’t lose you, not ever, so when a fresh wave of panic tries to take over, he tries his hardest to stay calm and think about things logically. The next thing to do would be to check upstairs. He’s bounding up them, two at a time, his strides revealing how much he’s actually worrying about your welfare, but he doesn’t even reach the top when he hears your cries.

Not even caring anymore, he bursts inside your bedroom to find you curled up on your bed, body wracking with tears, shaking periodically. A myriad of emotions swirl through him. Anger, at whoever made you feel like this- he stores a mental note to free up some time later that week- relief- well, at least you aren’t missing or gone, but most of all, sorrow. Sorrow at your sorry state, sorrow at the fact you feel like this, sorrow that echoes deep in his bones; a sorrow that makes his heart twinge in uncomfortable ways. He walks over to the bed, and lies next to you, facing your body.

Gently wrapping his arms around you, he whispers sweet nothings as you cry into his chest, each one making his eyes soften, and grip tighten.

“Please tell me what’s troubling you. I can’t have my darling all wound up, can I? It’s my duty as a knight to make sure all the citizens of Mondstadt are happy and healthy, wouldn’t you say?”

You don’t respond to his questions, like he thought you would anyway, so he changes tact.

“Darling, I beg. I don’t like seeing you upset, and know I’ll deal with anyone who tries to harm you, so please tell me what’s wrong. Whatever you say, I’ll make it right, you don’t have to lift a single finger, I promise.”

You sniffle a bit at this, tears coming slower, and you can feel his warm stare on your head, hands stroking your waist in a way that’s always made you feel relaxed. Or maybe that’s just his arms. Voice cracking up from all the crying, you respond, albeit with a wobble.

“I-I just haven’t done enough, Kaeya. I haven’t done enough!”

Bursting into a fresh set of tears, you wail into his chest once more, and once more, Kaeya shushes you. He kisses the top of your head, one that he hopes conveys his patience for you, and your words. He lets it linger for a couple of seconds before speaking again.

“To me, you’ve always been enough. Why else would you have stolen my heart, and why else would I have allowed it to happen?”

“But, you’ve just done so much and I’ve done so little!”

Kaeya frowns. He now knows what the problem is, but he feels clueless as to how you could ever feel this way. To him, you’ve done so much both for the people of Mondstadt and himself, helping out whenever you can, and always with a smile on your face.

“I’m going to stop you there, darling. Know that nobody thinks lowly of you. I may be the Cavalry Captain, but I have no horses; you may be my partner, but you are also a person. You may not see this, but everyone else can. You have done, and helped so many people that they come up to me- even when I’m out in the tavern- to talk about how you had helped them that same day. Apart from seeing your face, those little conversations are the highlight of my night, and they should be yours, too. So don’t worry, darling, from now on, I’ll tell you those messages and we’ll see how truly significant you actually are. I love you, wholly, and I never want you to feel like that ever again.”

His arms tighten around your waist as he presses a lingering kiss on your head. You squeeze back with the pressure of a feather, and a soft smile breaks through his face.

diluc– noctua

There are many ways you can say the name Diluc Ragnvindr. The Darkight Hero, saving grace of Mondstadt, free from the shackles of the Knights of Favonius, or perhaps, Master of the Dawn Winery, filthy rich, yet hard-working, producing possibly the best wine in the whole of Teyvat. No matter what name people utter, it always comes along with bucket loads of respect and admiration, constantly failing to hide the fact that they hold him in extremely high regard, much higher than what you could ever hope for. People speak of his courage, perseverance, and determination (well, maybe apart from Kaeya) when all they say to you is to ask how Diluc is.

It’s frustrating, no- it’s angering and belittling, and it’s as if you don’t have anything to stand for other than being his partner! He gets all of this respect and you just have to stand by his side! It’s as if they don’t even see you as a person with achievements, which- well, what have you done that’s worthy of praise? Nothing, you guess, maybe becoming Diluc’s partner was the peak of your life; it’s only going to go downhill from here, you’ve done nothing good, you’ve done nothing worthy; maybe you don’t deserve him at all. And- oh there the tears come, hot and salty, droplets dripping down your face.

–

There are many ways Diluc says your name. He says it gently, with hushed undertones and comforting hugs; he says it passionately, with longing in his eyes and a bold thump in his heart. But most of all, he says it so full of love, as if you had hung all the stars in the sky, full of unending, fulfilling, admiring adoration. Whenever your name leaves his mouth, people can’t help but stop and stare; it’s just so obvious how much the Master of the Dawn Winery cares for his special someone. Whenever your name leaves his mouth, there’s an ever-present look in his eye, one that reveals everything he feels about you, a look that proclaims out his devotion.

So when Diluc finds you- alone, sobbing violently into your pillows- he doesn’t hesitate to place you on his lap, arms cradling your fragile figure, as he utters your name again. He says it again and again, stroking your hair softly, waiting patiently (as if he wouldn’t wait an eternity) while he lets you cry into his shoulder, eyebrows slightly furrowing at the sight of seeing you so upset to get to a point like this. It’s not fair, he thinks, for you to feel like this when you deserve nothing but the opposite, and- he shouldn’t blame himself for this- but what if it has to do with him? You know he’s busy, and he knows he’s busy, but what if you’re feeling as if he doesn’t love you anymore?

Oh, what a lie, as if he could never love you, what a lie, as if he could never look forward to seeing you, as if he could never touch and kiss you as if it were his last. Those people weren’t lying when they said that he was truly in deep, too deep to ever get out of the hole he had dug for himself. Diluc doesn’t mind, though, if he’s in there with you, he would stay like that forever.

This doesn’t fix the situation at hand, however, and as much as Diluc would like to be able to fix all of your problems, the world doesn’t work like that, and so the next best thing is to help you try and feel better.

You’re still crying, and with every sob that you let out, a piece of his heart seemingly shatters into the void, and he thinks the only way to repair it would be to see your smile again. However, you’ve changed positions to where you’re both hugging each other. You on his lap, arms around his shoulders, and his arms around your waist, sporadically kissing your cheek every once in a while. He sighs, though not at you- never at you, eyes heavy with sadness at your state, and whispers gentle words, cradling your head with his hand.

“Look at me, darling. I love you eternally. I love you with my whole heart, and I can’t even fathom how much it beats for you. I do not know why you’re crying so, but I hate it. You do not deserve whatever this is you are feeling, and I know you as much as I know the back of my own hand. To me, you are the greatest person I have ever known. You have the ability to make me feel things I didn’t know I could, and you made me love, the most important thing of all. I have slain and destroyed, but at what cost? You have healed, and perhaps that is what I love about you so. So please do not cry, darling. You have done so much for me, and you have done so much for others. I know that much, so please, can I see you smile again?

You gaze up at him, eyes widening, as they fill up with tears once more. But not sad tears this time, happy ones instead. You kiss him, salty and passionate and thankful. It’s rather amazing how he manages to find the exact words to comfort you.

Diluc may be considered stoic, and quiet to most, but for you, he’d recite the longest scripture he could just to wipe your tears away.

thoma- rubeum scutum

The past few days for Thoma have been particularly busy. Both the Kamisato siblings required some type of assistance that had needed to be by their side for an extended amount of time, often just accompanying them with daily tasks around Inazuma that they may need to be called to. He doesn’t mind though, because at the end of each day, even though he may arrive late, even though he may find you asleep on the couch once he finally arrives back home, he gets to see your face, and gets to carry you gently off to bed, pressing some kisses to your forehead as he does so.

However, what Thoma doesn’t get to see, is the constant emotion of insignificance you feel next to him. You’re truly proud of him, you really are, and you’re glad he’s so busy and looked after all the time, but sometimes you wish that you could feel that way too. Sometimes you wished that you could receive the same workload as him- just to be able to say that your superiors trust you to be able to deal with larger things, like him. But you don’t and now you feel useless. Especially now, since he’s been kept working late for the Kamisato Clan, you’ve been chased by negativity for the days that he’s arrived late home, and it’s catching up to you.

It’s suffocating, you just want to be recognised by someone, for someone to be proud of you and to be able to say that they respect and admire your ethics and hardworking nature. But instead, you do mundane tasks everyday, get home, wait for Thoma, then go to sleep. You want something more; you yearn for some sort of sign in your life that you’ve achieved something, that you’ve created meaning for someone else. You just feel so tired of it all, you just want to go to sleep.

Staring at the wall blankly, you don’t even notice Thoma creeping in with a smile on his face, only to be replaced by a concerned frown. It’s the end of his gruelling week of assisting and accompanying, and there’s nothing more he wants than to be able to lay in bed with you, the one he loves with all his heart. He even prepared a cake for you to share, your favourite flavour! But when he sees you, devoid of emotion, a grim expression on your face unlike your usual self, he doesn’t hesitate to place the cake aside- all but forgotten- and rush over to where you’re sitting.

“Baby…?”

He whispers, almost scared to raise his voice, as if he would upset you even further. When you don’t respond, he gently raises you up to your feet, so tenderly, you know he’s done this before. He tilts your head up to look at him, and he gets scared. He gets scared at the empty look on your face, and he musters up all the love he can get (which- to be frank- is a lot) to smile at you. Even though he’s scared, the eyes are the window to the soul, and his truly reveal how much he cares for you. He searches for feeling in yours, and when he spots just a glimmer, he leans down to give you a gentle peck on the lips.

“Do you want to tell me what’s troubling you? I’ll do my very best to sort it out, you know I’d do anything for you.”

Comforted by the sound of his voice and affirmations, you regain some feeling in your body, and you feel less exhausted.

“Sorry, Thoma. I just- I’m not feeling too good.”

“Oh, would you like anything then? I have a really good soup recipe that I can make for you, just get some rest, and it’ll be ready in just a few minutes! I would prefer for you to feel better sooner rather than later.”

You sigh.

“No. That’s not what I meant. I mean- well- you’ve just been so busy and I’ve been… here, doing nothing. You’ve done so much already, and I haven’t done anything at all, I just want to feel as if I’ve done something… significant like you, that’s all.”

Tears start pooling at the corners of your eyes, and Thoma hurries to wipe them away with his hands. His heart clenches at your confession, worry evident in his eyes. If only you knew how much you mean to him, how much he thinks that you’re the significant one in the grand scheme of things, and how much he values your existence.

“No, don’t say that kind of stuff, it hurts. You know I love you so, so, so much and that I think you’ve done so much- too much- that I can’t possibly repay you. You don’t know how much you’ve impacted my life, and that I’m so grateful you came into it. I think others would agree too. I look forward to seeing you every day, y’know? You’re the highlight every single time, so don’t think of yourself as worthless, or insignificant, because I think if you weren’t here, my heart would have a massive gap right down the middle! I love you so much, baby, and it pains me to see you hurt like this, but I want you to believe that compared to me, you’re the one who shines bright. You’re the star here, not me.”

He pauses when you don’t respond. Maybe you need some time for yourself, sometimes that’s just the case.

“I’ll make the soup now, okay? I love you.”

Turning around to head out, a pair of arms from behind him encase his waist.

He laughs, turning around again to face you. Stroking your hair gently, he presses a kiss to your forehead, and wonders whether you can tell how much he truly loves you. How much he would do for you, and sacrifice for you. Thoma mutters a quiet ‘thank you’, and you look up at him, confused, tears still in your eyes.

“Surely I should be the thankful one, Thoma? Thank you, though.”

Your voice goes quiet at the last part.

He smiles softly, eyes drooping ever so slightly in admiration, in patience and in understanding.

“My pleasure.”

a/n: tysm for reading to the end! likes, reblogs and comments are highly appreciated! ❤️

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vinnieswife · 2 years ago

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hello! may i request a neteyam x reader oneshot where they’re having a cute moment together and reader discover that he’s ticklish? just pure fluff and neteyam laughing a lot (this boy deserves to be happy and in love), maybe she ends up on top of him and then they’re both flustered (but not in a super suggestive way and more like idiots in love). i hope this is ok and ty! sorry if is too specific. i really love your works. :)

“Are you that ticklish?”

Neteyam x gn!omaticaya!reader

words: 762

warnings: kissing and using “skxawng”

author’s note: OMFG this so cute I swear, I don’t know if the end is like you wanted annon but I tried my best :)

An ikran flew too close to you, passing you at high speed "teyam be careful!" he turned his head from his ikran at your shout "oh come on this is my moment of freedom, let me have some fun ma y/n" he said laughing, the nickname making the blush grow to your cheeks.

Holding tight to your ikran you sped up, passing closer to the eldest Sully, his horrified expression made you burst into a fit of laughter "so that's how you want to play huh?", you laughed fixing your gaze on him "you know I'm going to beat you teyam", now it was his turn to laugh "you wish y/n". You set your visor, "last one to the glade loses" having said that your ikran started to descend at high speed with Neteyam right behind you, the race was interesting, you were both playing while trying to win, when you were about to land neteyam's ikran opened its wings making you fly to the side while he landed in the grass. Your face showed pure amazement "you are a cheater neteyam sully!" "we never talked about the rules love", your mouth closed quickly at the nickname, after landing you approached neteyam leaving a soft thump on his back "skxawng", he laughed following you into the forest.

The eclipse was settling making the glowing freckles appear on your bodies, you couldn't help but fix your eyes on neteyam's back, seeing how the patterns were broken, covered in scars from the war, your eyes moved to his side making neteyam realize that you were looking at him "what are you looking at? " "mhmn?" your ears ignored his words, your fingers moving closer to his ribs to trace a couple of scars, when your fingers made contact with his skin a chuckle escaped his lips as his body moved away from your touch. A mischievous look appeared on your face, neteyam's face went from a cheerful one to a completely serious one "y/n no..." but it was too late, you pounced on him sending both of you to the ground, you started attacking his sides with light finger movements, laughter began to escape his lips as his body jerked, "Ah~ ah please, HA y/n please.... Icantbreathe" you stopped your movements letting him rest "I didn't understand what you said" you said a smirk gracing your lips "fuck you" neteyam said trying to catch his breath, your hands made contact with abdomen again making his eyes widen like plates "Fuck no! HAHAHAHA... please!", "are you going to keep mumbling some more insults to my person again teyam?" "oh no, no I promise, just stop" you quickly got up from him "are you that ticklish?" you said laughing, he stood up with a frown "haha you're so funny did I ever told you that?" he said with irony in his voice, a slight smile graced your face as you brushed away a piece of grass that had stuck to his arm "It’s a talent" he scoffed at your comment as you continued walking through the forest.

Before you could process it neteyam lunged at you, attacking your sides with tickles, just as you had done to him moments before, small cries for help escaped your throat as you tried to restrain his hands "neteyam please I-I can't breathe" "who's the one laughing now huh?" a nervous chuckle escaped your body as you realized how close you both were, his face inches away from yours, it must be that he read your mind as you saw the color quickly ascend to his cheeks, oh eywa the son of the olo'eyktan blushing, what a sight, you noticed how his face had changed over the years, he was no longer the same little boy you met when you were little, your hands placed themselves on his cheeks caressing the area under his eye "since when have you grown so much teyam?" his eyes were still on yours,trying to process the information "you've grown up too y/n, we're not little kids anymore", "I know" you noticed how his gaze moved from your eyes to your lips, fixing on these; everything was so peaceful, the gentle breeze, the bioluminescent plants adorning the forest and him, the glowing freckles adorning his face, his eyes shining with Polyphemus light, the darker stripes on his forehead and his cheeks- "I see you y/n" you were so absorbed in your world that his words took you by surprise, a smile rose to your lips "I see you teyam" his yellow eyes sparkled and his pupils dilated as the smile on his face grew even bigger. His lips slowly descended on yours, it was inexperienced, but full of love; you parted for lack of air, as you both let out a giggle bringing your foreheads together. “maybe I should let you tickle me more often”

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evenmyhivemindisempty · 4 months ago

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I need your headcanons on how the Boyd Boys would react in the situation that they got a baby in their care.No one knows where it came from,doesn't need to be theirs,but they're stuck with a baby now. Good luck to them 👍 (with love from anon who got hit with sudden baby fever for the first time in his 20s)

Haha good luck with that baby fever, anon!! I’ve heard when it hits it hits *hard*

Steve Murphy: This one is easy, because we know exactly how Steve Murphy responds! He adopts that baby ASAP, and proceeds to be a dutiful (if maybe not exactly excited) dad!

Donald Pierce: He’d hold it awkwardly, possibly at an arms length from himself, squinting as it gurgled like it’s an engine making funky noises he’s trying to decipher. As soon as it started crying he’d hand it right over to Gabby. Pierce isn’t crazy about babies! He doesn’t find them interesting! They don’t have anything to say, and they don’t do anything fun! They just cry loudly, eat, and poop! (There is, however, a moment when he’s watching Gabby murmur lullabies and gently rock it to the sleep, that he just feels *so* inexplicably tender.)

Cap Hatfield: He finds babies ADORABLE, if faintly perplexing. He tries his best to make sure it’s comfortable, maybe whittles a little rattler for it, but ultimately he’s passing it off to the first relative he sees that knows more about childrearing than he does. But he’ll absolutely be popping in to help!

Clement Mansell: Ooh I feel like this is SO dependent on his mood at the time. 90% of the time Clement is immediately dropping that kid off at the nearest fire station, but if he’s in kind of a wistful, melancholy state, thinking about his dad or his legacy?? Yeah, he’s keeping that kid. I feel like having a kid *could* actually make Clement a better person too, if it makes him kind of reflect on what he wants for his kid (and the ways that’s different than what he got growing up), but he’s also 100% gonna use his adorable little baby to distract marks while he robs them blind.

The Corinthian: Aw man, the Corinthian is actually *great* with babies. (Baby Daniel!!) I don’t think he’d hang on to it if he didn’t have to though - unless for some reason he got insta-attached - but if it maybe reminded him of Orpheus (who I HC Corinthian sometimes babysat) or something, he’d be such a devoted dad! Based solely on the vibes I got from how he interacted with Jed, I can see the Corinthian having a bit of a double-life: sure, there’s moments where he acts *off*, or says something weird, but overall he’s giving his kid the standard all-American life, complete with a trampoline in the backyard and a golden retriever. He makes his kid and his kid’s friends sandwiches when they hang out at the house after school. Maybe he seduces their hot dads. Maybe he does some serial killing on the side! But he’ll also be there at every soccer game and ballet rehearsal.

Eli Klaber: Klaber finds kids adorable, but doesn’t really know what to do with them. He’d try his best though! He’d read parenting books and attend classes (probably surrounded by brand-new mothers slightly perplexed by his presence). I feel like he’d be the dad that tries to bring his kid *everywhere* (including to work!) and the first day of daycare he absolutely cries a little.

Ty Shaw: Ty immediately integrates the baby into the family! This is a Shaw baby now! He’s good with kids; after basically being a dad for three kids already, he’s old hat at this! He finds it so cute too, and he’s definitely the obnoxious parent that takes a million pictures of their kid and then insists on showing them *all* to everyone he meets.

Quinn McKenna: The thing is, Quinn actually *is* good with kids, and he does like them, but he’s not good at being around them for too long. He can’t really do fatherhood for very long without getting a little distant and needing space. I think if he *has* to take care of this kid, he’ll do it and he’ll do a thorough and competent job, but he’s gonna be burnt out quick, and maybe not always the most emotionally available parent. It’s better for him (and the kid, frankly) if he can find someone else to be the full-time parent, and he can act as an uncle figure.

#thanks for the ask anon!!#boyd holbrook #donald pierce #the corinthian #steve murphy #ty shaw #clement mansell #quinn mckenna #cap hatfield #eli klaber

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dkniade · 1 year ago

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who was the first genshin character who caught your eye?

Thank you for the question! Since you asked, I’ll talk about how I got attached to some characters I like near the beginning

(slightly suggestive in first bit)

I will be completely honest and say some time before I finally convinced myself to download the game in early 2021, I saw a greyscale fanart of a smug & shirtless Kaeya. So visually speaking, I suppose it was his face that first caught my eye… haha

(I didn’t know his name back then so I described the fanart to a friend who played the game. I must’ve seen a full-colour illust of Kaeya too before that.)

Friend: what colour

Me: blue

Me: uh.. it’s “Kaeya” I think…?

Friend, jokingly: OF COURSE IT’S KAEYA IT’S ALWAYS KAEYA

Still, I didn’t start playing the game back then (I’m the type to do a ton of research on a game to see if it’s worth investing my time into, and even back then the artifact system felt complicated) and only read a few reader inserts of him. And drew fan art.

Shortly after (or before?) I started playing I went onto the Chinese wiki and read his entire backstory since I didn’t have the patience to unlock them by Friendship Level, and here we are. I really started appreciating Kaeya after that, and I think last autumn/winter I thought, “Kaeya was able to succeed and rise to such a high position in the knights despite all the hardships he went through, so I should be hopeful too.”

This piece was from a long time after, when I finally got to Act III of the Prologue. (I was a very casual player. Maybe even back then I had doubts about the game design.) Maybe I was moody when I did the sketch, but it was pretty fun to colour it haha (I’d like to try colouring like this again)

Before I started playing, I was also interested in Venti (because a friend liked him) BUT ALSO because of Circus-P’s Venti fan song “Last Words” (ft. Len Kagamine & Fukase). I thought it told the story in an interesting way. (I’m a VOCALOID fan so I like narrative music videos.) Even cried watching @gierosajie’s fan animatic to the song (wait hold on it’s This Artist I just realized- If you see this, I’d like to say it’s still a wonderful animatic❤️). I must’ve also watched the official cutscene animation “The Boy and the Whirlwind” and thought it was cool too.

But in terms of official character art, I think I was aware of the game around the time the 1.3 first Lantern Rite began, meaning 1.2 was just tying up, and I must’ve come across the key visual of Albedo and thought “I don’t know if that’s a man or a woman but damn their hair looks nice.” Watched the 1.2 trailer and thought Dragonspine looked cool. Eventually I also read his backstory on a wiki and got interested in him.

2.3 dropped and I did his Story Quest near the end of the event, and thought he was very polite and felt the quest was intimate (because of how he showed interest in the Traveler). I didn’t get the chance to personally do the event back then so based on the trailer I had a loose theory Albedo lost control just like how he said he might (at the end of his quest) and the corruption turned his Vision from Geo to Cryo and something about Kaeya’s lineage and Kaeya freaking out that Albedo knows about it, haha.. Eventually I learned of the three Albedos plot and waited for basically a year before watching the play-through itself, and here we are (again).

Inevitably, I find myself intrigued by characters who went through trauma, and how it shapes them in the past and affects them in the future… It’s interesting to see what they’ll do, how far they’ll go forward despite that.

#suggestive #dusk answers #long post #GI #kaeya #albedo #venti #nameless bard

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slytherinshua · 6 months ago

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Hopefully they will get a bit of rest before the show! They definitely need it after the tour though, the schedule seemed brutal. I don't think I'd be able to cope if it was me lol. You'll have to let me know what they are like to watch live, I'm sure they'll be amazing!!

Play is such a comfort song! I have definitely cried listening to it as well haha, also haze. I really do love how they have a song for every mood lol.

I'm honestly so glad that I started to listen to them when I did. I found them at a time when I'm finally starting to think more positively about myself and seeing my own potential, like seeing that I can improve myself but also being kind to myself when I inevitably mess up. I think the messages in their songs are really comforting and make me feel seen. (Although I still remember the night when hug by seventeen absolutely broke me ahaha) Finding a talented violinist who plays music that I like has helped me want to become better in that sense too, although admittedly I have wanted to improve for a while, but Yechan has actually given me a goal which is nice. (I've started to try and learn boogie man and my respect for Yechan has went WAY up).

I have wanted to watch super and for ages!! I never knew where to find it though. I found out about it because I'd started to listen to Hoppipolla and then would watch compilation videos of clips from superband. It seems so fun! And the amount of talent would make me cry ahaha. I'll and Ha Hyunsang's voices in 1000x almost made me cry the first time I listened to it because they blended so beautifully. After getting into Lucy, I was kinda like, the bassist in the awesome cover of the Coldplay song (I can't remember what it's called lol) was Wonsang?! Yechan played viva la Vida?? With Ha Hyunsang?? That made me want to watch it more ahaha (although I don't know if I'll be emotionally prepared to see Sangyeop cry)

I'll let you know if I have any ideas haha, but definitely keep writing for Lucy! I really liked your style of writing and thought you wrote Sangyeop really well!

Enjoy the show!!!!

okay now that I’m back from the show lemme answer this 🥹🥹 I think they did get some rest beforehand they were rly energetic and excited :( moreso than me cause I was so sore it hurt to stand and I was struggling when sangyeop wanted us to jump sigh

You could rly just tell they went all out for their last show of the tour and it was just so special :( I was right by wonsang bcuz he’s my bias and I wanted to watch him up close so most of the videos I took are of him. Whenever I could see sangyeop or get noticed by sangyeop I would die internally idk smth abt him live is just way too attractive and charismatic and he needs to stop being so fucking fine istg??? But wonsang was so cute I was chilling standing by him <33

I swear I can cry to any lucy song cause even the happy ones have sad or relatable lyrics… the sad ones hit so fucking hard absolutely when I need to cry colourless is my go to…. Sangyeop ugh 👹👹👹👹 and when it’s a song like boogie man I just cry cause of how beautifully crafted it is cause I think abt how hard wonsang works on every song LMAO IM SO EMO KILL ME

I also feel like I found them at just the right time but like for the opposite reason. I was going through intense burnout and listening to stove while I worked on schoolwork was the only thing keeping me going :( (along w bambam ty husband <3)

I NEED TO REWATCH SUPERBAND IN FULL TBH CAUSE 😭😭 I went back to watch the lucy stages but I just need to experience the WHOLE thing again… anyway here’s the link to the google doc with the google drive eps for you <3333 AND YES ADVENTURE OF A LIFETIME COVER!!!! Absolutely adored it sm I remember how everyone thought wonsang was selfish and trying to make himself stand out by only picking guitarists while he was the only bassist but then he got all 5 votes cause his arrangement was so beautiful and chilling and ethereal and I love him sm I always call him my lil genius :(

Dropping some photos from the concert hehe

#﹒inbox　𓈃　ⵌ

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ravenatural · 1 year ago

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15 Questions tag game

The rules are: Answer the 15 questions and tag 15 of your mutuals.

Tagged by @echoghost1 , ty Echo!! :D

1. Are you named after anyone?

Ohh okay so this one is kinda fun because I technically am on four counts! My legal first and middle names both came from two different people ( one a famous author, the other my great great great ( great? I think it’s 4 ) aunt. The other two counts come from chosen names! while I’m not positive how much raven counts ( chosen at 13 because of raven teen titans haha ), Alva is another name I chose for myself that came from an ancestor on my moms side

2. When was the last time you cried?

Last week? I think? Shit’s been kinda stressful all of a sudden

3. Do you have kids?

I babysat a couple of kids for a few months when I was like 18-ish and worked a job that had a daycare room, and I absolutely adored them to the point my mom started referring to them as my kids, but I am neither a legal guardian nor still in contact since the place went out of business so I’m gonna have to answer no to that one

4. What sports do you play/have played?

Ohh man okay i don’t think I’ve done any sports since I was like. 10 years old, max. I briefly did soccer, and then basic ballet and tap lessons; I had a couple group recitals, but never advanced past flats, and honestly did not retain even muscle memory on anything

5. Do you use sarcasm?

I can’t because I’m the kind of awkward that struggles with tone inflection and quick wit so when I try people always think I’m serious 😔

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Something that can be complimented, generally.

Like, one of the things I do as someone with a customer facing job, is actively look for things to complement people on, for a multitude of reasons. It’s def not some kind of a requirement for my position, but more just that I like to break up the basic check-out process a little by finding something that I can genuinely appreciate ( which, the more I’ve done this the wider an appreciation of people’s personal style preferences I’ve had in general ) and communicating to them I like it, which never fails to brighten up an interaction.

It’s honestly really great too, because people often like to share the story behind the things I compliment, and I love to hear those stories, so it’s a good balance I think!

7. What's your eye color?

I’ve always been told they’re brown but I’m like 98% certain they’re actually hazel? But the definitions of hazel I see are very, well, hazy tbh, and I’m afraid to commit to being 100% certain lmao

8. Scary movies or Happy endings?

I like both BUT the happy endings I’d really like to have a lot of toil and angst and maybe a lil tragedy first—I want that happy ending to have blood stains that are over time bleached away by sunlight, but forever imprinted onto the fabric

9. Any talents?

Idk if I’d describe myself as talented in any manner, but that’s mostly because I prefer to think in terms of skill-set over natural talent

That said, I have never formally—or informally really, for that matter—studied gemstones, but I can recognize and name a decent number of them on sight relatively easily, and have ID’d multiple pieces of tanzanite jewelry first try ( something where every individual, all unrelated, who was wearing said jewelry have said I’m the first person to not only think it was something other than sapphire, but to also know instantly. All I can really offer as to how I know is “its just the way it is” because ig the color and shine differences aren’t as easily noticeable to everyone else? ). It’s a side effect of having a detail focused mind that I’m honestly really proud of

10. Where were you born?

Nice try sucker you’re not getting the answer to my online account security question THAT easily

11. What are your hobbies?

Drawing

opening new tabs from my YouTube recommendations side bar for every song title that looks interesting and seeing how much new music I can find in one sitting before I get bored

finding hyper specific and sometimes rare things people I know haven’t been able to find and then buying it for them

googling the fuck out of some random ass thing that just came up in conversation until I have a bunch of new fun facts on the subject

sewing

and more!

12. Do you have any pets?

LOTS

context: my family runs a small hobby farm, + we have our indoor pets ( only cats for indoor now ), we’ve had a variety of livestock over the years, but currently it’s just sheep and chickens for outdoor

13. How tall are you?

Just a lil over 5’5” but not quite 5’6” ( no I don’t need to be that specific but the doctor commented on it last time she took my height and damn if I won’t take the small win )

14. Favourite subject in school?

Mmmmm I’m gonna automatically disqualify art just to make this slightly more challenging for myself.. probably Astronomy? Tbh I’ve never been able to wrap my head around enough math concepts to understand a lot of science formulas, so that whole portion of it didn’t quite work out for me, but I enjoyed the fuck outta reading the textbook

15. Dream Job?

Oh okay this one is actually really specific, but. Making an anime / cartoon style comic and / or illustrations and maybe a variety of other artwork for NASA, no this position does not exist but I want it IMMENSELY

Hooooo this got a LOT longer than I expected lmao

trying to avoid tagging mutuals I’ve already seen tagged in this one, obvi feel free to ignore if you don’t wanna do it ( we’re low stakes tagging in this household )

@zrllosyn

@magiwou-meowvin

@13threbagel

@lactoseparty

@aggressivelyclueless

@mcfanely

@cosmicteafox

@tunafishprincess

@ukiinas ( I silently salute you for being my longest standing mutual 🫡 )

…and anyone else who’d like to! ( I don’t feel like digging through my followers to fill the list to max shajsisoa have at it fellas )

#Tag game #Ask game #15 questions tag game #long post #ravens ravings

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kameonerd566 · 1 year ago

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7, 9, 21 and 29?

Omg ty for the ask! : D

7. What animal do you look forward to seeing when you visit an aquarium?

I really like the jellyfish! If there's large deep sea fish thats always fun to go see as well; oh! And the OTTERS!!

9. do you have a skincare routine (and how many steps is it)?

Sort of; I wash my face in the shower with the trader joes face wash my mom gifts me and then when I get out my eyelids get super dry so I put a very thin spread of aquaphor on them and then chapstick is a must ever since I got one really bad cold in like 2015 (my lips will legit start cracking if I go literally one day without chapstick :') ); if I have a tattoo healing I'll moisturize that with some regular lotion.

21. A number that weirds you out?

I don't really have any; i guess if im having a particularly bad OCD day 666 isn't my favorite number to see but thats really it. My favorite number is 17 tho <3

29. Preferred pasta noodle?

*cries in italian* mama mia I have-a to choose-a just one? haha but yeah, I really like fusilli because it holds the sauce and meat nicely

#thanks for the ask!#<3 #ask meme

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prying-pandora666 · 2 years ago

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Only because you asked anon, and you’re so sharp I fear you’ll puncture the hull of my blog!

Azula: Chieftain, I demand you sign this bill I wrote which requests reparations from the Fire Nation for harms done to your people!

Hakoda: Azula… this is very well written but you’re asking for a lot. Won’t the Fire Lord be offended?

Azula: Of course not! It’s my brother! He’s the same blend of guilt-ridden and well-intentioned that he’s ever been! Really, he should thank me for the opportunity!

Hakoda: I’ll… go ahead and sign this then.

Azula: …

Hakoda: …

Azula: … I did it ALL out of the generosity of my heart and for No. Other. Reason.

Hakoda: Oh! Job well done, Azula. I’m proud of you.

Azula: *happy sighs*

—

Azula: *dressed as a Kyoshi Warrior* Shut up! You’re going to give us away!

Sokka: *also dressed as a Kyoshi Warrior* You literally threatened a guy just for complimenting my figure!

Azula: FRIENDS DON’T LET FRIENDS BE HARRASSED!

Sokka: YOU’RE JUST JEALOUS THAT I GOT THE COMPLI—wait, we’re friends?

Actual Kyoshi Warrior: Are you two playing dress-up and sneaking around our village again?

Sokka: You see? You should’ve let me do your eyeliner. Your make-up skills give us away every time.

Azula: YOU. ARE. A. MAN.

Sokka: A man… with perfect eyeliner!

—

Toph: Playing beach games against the boys is never fun! I can barely see in sand and they cheat!

Katara: They don’t cheat. They just have Aang.

Toph: PFFT! Whatever, I can take Aang! He’s a softie! It’s Sokka that’s the problem!

Katara: His strategies do give them an edge that’s hard to predict…

Toph: …….. I just had an idea. You won’t like it, but we’ll be unstoppable.

Azula, sunbathing on her own: What do you two want?

Toph: STOP SITTING HERE LIKE A RETIRED OLD LADY AND HELP US BEAT THE BOYS!

Azula: What, in a game? No thanks. I don’t engage in childish competitions anymore. I’m a good person now.

Toph: Not even to beat Zuko?

Azula: Oh please. We’ve put that petty rivalry behind us and anyway I’m obviously the winner.

Katara: *under her breath* My-brother’s-smarter-than-you.

Azula: !!!

Toph: Uh oh.

Azula: OH IS HE!? THEN TIME TO BRING THOSE BOYS IN FOR RECKLESS ENDANGERMENT!

Toph: …?

Katara: …?

Azula: Y-you know. Because they think their wit is so sharp?

Katara/Toph: Ohhhhh…

Toph: I don’t get it.

The boys never won a match again.

—

Zuko: Azula?

Azula: Yes?

Zuko: How do you know if a girl likes you or is just being nice?

Azula: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Zuko, later: Anyway, she must’ve laughed for like an hour. She nearly passed out, actually.

Sokka: That’s rough, buddy.

Aang: But did she ever give you an answer?

Zuko: Yes. Eventually.

Aang/Sokka: What did she say!?

Zuko: You can’t.

Aang/Sokka: Awwww!

Sokka: I was SO sure that would work!

Aang: On the bright side, she gave us an honest answer? So she must be starting to care about us. At least a little.

Sokka: Either that or she was just being “a good person”.

Aang: Good point. How can we tell which one it is?

Zuko: …. We can’t.

—

Sokka: Okay Azula! I’m calling a truce! I hate you and you hate me—

Azula: I don’t hate you.

Sokka: No, no, don’t start—wait you don’t?

Azula: Of course not! I didn’t even hate you during the war when we were trying to kill each other. You were just doing your duty.

Sokka: Oh… I… did not know that.

Azula: You… hate me? As a person?

Sokka: Hate is a strong word—

Azula: And an accurate one, apparently. Excuse me. I wouldn’t want to darken your day with my presence. *leaves* Sokka: Wow. I feel like a bad person. Was she about to cry!? Gaaaah! Way to go, Sokka! So stupid!

A month later…

Azula, drinking tea: Anyway, then I burst into tears and ran away! Haha!

Ty Lee: Wow Azula! Pretty devious of you! I totally believed your feelings were really hurt!

Azula: I was devastated! Cried for a week. More tea, anyone?

Mai: So you’re just going to pretend nothing is wrong?

Azula: Of course!

Ty Lee: Oh… but why?

Sokka, from outside: AZULA! I’M SORRY! Look I hunted and cooked a whole leopard moose for you AND made you another coat with its pelt! It’s my best one yet! Pleeeeease will you talk to me again!? No one else will play “Infiltrate Kyoshi Village” with me!

Mai: She has no idea how to respond to that.

Ty Lee: Oh!

—

Toph: You ever feel like the world is a mess and you just want to take it in your hands and SHAKE IT until it does what you say and BEHAVES!?

Azula: … are you seriously asking me this right now?

Toph: Sorry. I’m used to having these talks with Katara.

Azula: Oh she’s no fun!

Toph: THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYIN’!

Azula: Want to sneak into Zuzu’s vault and rearrange all his ceremonial crowns and robes just sliiiiightly so he thinks the pressure’s getting to him and he’s going insane?

Toph: OOH! Maybe he’ll argue with a painting of Iroh like last time! That was GREAT! If he does, you have to describe it to me again!

Azula: In meticulous detail.

—

Zuko: You and Toph rearranged all my stuff again so I’d think I was going insane, didn’t you?

Azula: Slanderous allegations! You have no proof.

Zuko: You left a note mocking me and explaining what was done.

Azula: Someone left a note mocking you and explaining what was done.

Zuko: You signed it!

Azula: *shrugs* You got me. I didn’t want you getting stressed again, but I didn’t want to ruin Toph’s fun. She can’t read the note, so I left it for you.

Zuko: Oh… That… is actually really thoughtful.

Azula: Why are you surprised?

Azula, smug: I’m a good person now!

Zuko, at the same time, dead inside: You’re a good person now…

Zuko: How could I forget?

(Want more? Check out @book4air)

Okay but people are seriously sleeping on the comedy potential for a redeemed Azula.

She canonically likes making jokes and has a wicked sharp wit. She’s also as charismatic as she is socially awkward. Just imagine the possibilities!

——

Katara: Azula, did you stew and eat the reindeer meat my dad was saving!?

Azula: Don’t be ridiculous. I’m a good person now.

Katara: …

Azula: …

Katara: …

Azula: I seared it. I’m not a monster.

——

Sokka: Hey, Azula! Wanna join us in a snow fight?

Azula: Didn’t you learn from the invasion, peasant?

*Proceeds to absolutely DESTROY Sokka’s team by perfectly commanding an army of small children.*

Azula: HAHAHA! I’VE DEFEATED YOU FOR ALL TIME! YOU WILL NEVER RISE FROM THE COLD STING OF HUMILIATION!

Suki: Why do you keep inviting her to play?

Sokka: Honestly? Improves my tactical skills to watch a master.

Azula: TAKE THE PRISONERS TO DINNER! THEY’RE BUYING!

——

Aang: Oh hey, Azula! You’re up early. Would you like to join us for morning meditation and vegetarian dumplings?

Azula: I’d rather die.

Zuko: Azula! That’s rude!

Azula: You’re right. I apologize. I’m a good person now. *ahem* Aang, if you don’t eat some meat, YOU are going to die.

Sokka: FINALLY! SOMEONE SAYS IT!

——

Toph: Boy it sure is awkward around here since Azula joined!

*no one says anything*

Toph: Anyone got any embarrassing stories about baby Zuko?

Azula: DO I!?

Zuko: Why do you hate me, Toph?

——

Zuko: I love you. You know that, don’t you?

Azula: Haha! You love me! You’re stupid!

Aang: We all love you, Azula.

Azula: … *trying not to cry*

Katara: Azula? You okay?

Azula: YOU’RE ALL STUPID!

Sokka: I think I sense a group hug coming on. Toph?

Toph: *cracks knuckles* I’ll hold her down.

#avatar the last airbender #atla #avatar #azula #zuko #The gaang #sokka #katara #aang #Toph #dangerous ladies #book 4 air restoration project

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toushis · 4 years ago

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tag gamé

tagged by cristen (@kiyomie) thank you so much 🥺 love you!

Why did you choose your url? because of toooshiii, only intellectuals who watched gintama will understand 💅

Any side blogs? only my first ever (& previous, one piece) blog, which is now inactive and i'm thinking of deleting it

How long have you been on tumblr? ooff, like 7 years?? that's a lot, damn.

Do you have a queue tag? used to (#queued) but i got lazy of keep tagging it haha

Why did you start your blog in the first place? i used we heart it back then and saw that most of the gifs & edits came from here so i decided to use it :3 and months later i decided to make gifs/gfx too!

Why did you choose your icon? cuz gintoki eating desserts and being happy & flustered about it >>>>>

Why did you choose your header? i love RJ so much ;A; it's a character created by Jin of BTS, and it's so freaking cute how much he loves them and ofc you start to love them too, so yeah. and the one in my blog (website, which is more a sidebar lol): i'm in love with seokjin, he looks stunning singing his beautiful vocals.

What’s your post with the most notes? beats me lmfao, idk. maybe this gotg gif set? (is the only one i remember lol) made it when i was hooked with those movies

How many followers do you have? 1.7k amazing people uwu (don't know why you following me but tysm~)

How many people do you follow? 251 beautiful people (i need to follow more tho ;A;)

Have you ever made a shitpost? nope, i'm not that funny sfhdgsfahds

How often do you use Tumblr? like twice a week? depemde (mexican meme)

Did you have a fight/argument with a blog once? ooff, one of my worst experiences in here, haha (and my anxiety made it worse :c). it was in my previous blog and i received a lot of anons accusing me of copying certain blog's graphics when ofc i never did, so i went to the blog whom i "copied" and decided to talk about it with them in private (cause i liked them and didn't want to have problems with them ;w;). they told me they also received a lot of anons saying the same. and well, at the end, everything was fine, they undestood it was only lies so didn't take them seriously and answered one of those anons defending me. now that blog and i are friendos <33

How do you feel about “you need to reblog this post”? hmm depends? when it's kind of: "reblog if your blog is a safe place for...", i don't do it, cause i think my blog it's obviously a safe place for everyone since i've never posted any harmful things for any community (and i never will). and, when it comes to share important information about any situation so we can help, i do it :)

Do you like tag games? do you like ask games? yeah, as long as it doesn't invade my privacy, it's fine for me, it's fun~

Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? definitely ana (@gojosattoru) haha. and well, who wouldn't become famous with those precious colorings, she's amazing. when she started following me, i couldn't believe it lmfao

Do you have a crush on a mutual? yep (but i’ll never say who! let’s end this right now! haha)

tagging: @kurahara @zuura @ladynagant @kishitan-iis @ohreigen don’t feel obliged to! :)

#ty cris this was really fun haha #tag game #personal

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bobthebobking · 3 years ago

Note

POKES YOU POKES YOU POKES YOUR tell me abt your wips <333 super interested in ink's awakening and ALSO,,,,, any tidbits of info you could give me about niko and link <33

for this ask meme. anyone else who sees this, feel free to send an ask if anything catches your eye! and ty hyper for my life <3

i’m gonna post a snippet about niko and link first, assuming u mean link & niko leaving new hyrule bc i love it sm and want some of it to see the light of day kdfjgnjd disclaimer that i haven’t really edited this at all :’)

premise is that link feels restless and wants go sailing again, he and niko are around mid-late 20s and New Hyrule is becoming decently established. i have like 2300 words written in the doc for it, this is just the beginning >:)

~ ~ ~

Link thought he was safe, that he hadn't been seen. But apparently he'd lost some of his sneaking ability in the years since settling in New Hyrule, because hurried steps crunched along the shore toward him.

"Link?? What the hell are you doing out here so late?" an incredulous whisper hissed behind him.

"I'm leaving."

"On your own? Does Tetra know?"

"Duh, I'm not an idiot."

"What about Aryll?"

". . . She'll figure it out."

Niko stared at him, stunned, and nearly shouted, "You didn't tell Aryll!?"

"Shh!" Link rushed to cover Niko's mouth with his hands.

Niko slapped them away and lowered his voice to an angry hiss, "You're the only family she has and you're just leaving?”

Link huffed as he turned back to the S.S. Linebeck, "She'll be fine, Niko, she has-"

"Link," Niko ground out through his teeth. This argument was going nowhere. Link took a breath, trying to avoid escalating this into a shouting match.

"You can't change my mind about this, Niko." Link finally looked at his friend properly to find wide, wet eyes staring up at him beneath the angry furrow of his brow and oh, gods, if Niko cries… Link straightened his shoulders as he turned to fully face the shorter man. Much softer than he intended, Link repeated himself. "I'm leaving."

Niko worked his jaw for a few moments, staring at Link, until-

"I'm coming with you."

Link blinked.

"What? No you aren't."

"Yes I am, you big octo bastard. Someone has to make sure you don't get yourself killed. Give me 20 minutes."

With that, Niko ran back to his house, presumably to pack his things, leaving a stunned Link on the dock.

~ ~ ~

what if.. niko and link went sailing together and fell in love... haha just kidding....... unless? KDFNGKJD they mean sm to me and its CRIMINAL that like there isn’t any content about them. niko gave link bombs theyre practically soulmates HELLO!!! in this fic they’ll have some shenanigans and close calls and a fun lil adventure exploring the sea <3 also yes they’re stealing the ss linebeck bc linebeck’s out exploring new hyrule for treasure. link’s been maintaining it in his absence n hes just like ok u know what? free ship. byeeee

gonna put the stuff about ink's awakening under a read more bc talking about it might reveal major spoilers about exit/corners, a free browser puzzle/mystery vn that you can play in its entirety HERE. I highly encourage everyone to play it bc it’s amazing and free :]

ok so the ink’s awakening stuff is basically just like.. a universe swap? bc e/c and link’s awakening have similar aspects, especially in the beginning and the general premise. ink and link both wake up in a strange bed with a pretty girl, fall in love with her, and have to go through many puzzles and near-death experiences and such in order to leave... and then 🙊🙊🙊

i really just wanted to doodle ink+aether and link+marin in each others outfits and cutscenes bc like it would just be so good! marin is so wild she would do so well in a death game vn, she’d finally be allowed to say fuck. and aether is so sweet she deserves to have a nice little island life <333 here are aether and marin’s outfit swap doodles i’ve already done, i love them so much

i havent had the chance to do ink and link yet but here are lil doodles kdfjngkd

the text says “well, this is awkward!”, one of the first dialogue options in e/c and it makes me laugh every time i love ink so much <333 and imagining him saying that after being shipwrecked on a remote island is even funnier KJDFNGD and link in a lil detective coat and scarf like.. how can u not want that in ur life!! link is a master puzzle solver and he would do amazingly well in exit/corners (exit/koholint hehe)

ty again for the ask!! <3333

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t-lostinworlds · 5 years ago

Text

The Choices We Make (Tom Holland) [1]

A/N: Okay so here’s that angst I’ve been babbling about haha. This was so hard for me to write for some reason, like I genuinely felt nervous and anxious, and I cried a lil so yeah asdfghjkl prepare for some heartbreak.

Pairing: Tom Holland x Fem!Reader

Summary: You find out the real reason why Tom has been distant, but it wasn't due to something out of his control, no, it was entirely his choice, and it wasn’t the right one.

Warnings: just pure heart wrenching angst and then some.

Word Count: 5.6k+

Masterlist in Bio

-:-:-:-:-

It's been going on for a month, maybe even more. You weren't proud on letting it stretch for this long, but you were still holding out hope, your faith in him too strong.

Tom was growing distant, farther from your reach despite the fact that you sleep on the same bed and live in the same house. The house that was once coated with warmth, laughter and happiness, but now, it's different, somewhat... cold, unnerving.

As a matter of fact, he barely even is home, and when he is, he treats you as someone who's just occupying the space, not someone who has seen him for him, naked and flawed, both demons and angels alike.

He's always glued to his phone, other times, fast asleep, or that's what you think anyway when he's in the bedroom at two in the afternoon. Simply put, he never truly gets to spend much time with you at all, despite being in the same house.

Kisses don't feel as warm, hugs just the same, and the last time you made love... gosh, it was a month and a half ago, which sounds so bad given that, that's how long he's been home for, right after his junket for Onward.

It's like there's an obvious wall between you two, and you know there is, you're just ignori—no, denial is the right word. You're in denial of what your three-year relationship has whittled to.

You're trying to not think much of it, blame it on the busyness of his life, but there's always something about a gut feeling that is too hard to ignore.

"I'm going to spend the night at Harry's again, we're pulling an all-nighter to get the final parts for the script done," Tom stated flatly the moment he stepped into the kitchen, all out of breath and sweaty from his morning run.

You tried to mask your added disappointment as you greeted him with a small smile. Added because you were already disappointed before he came home, and now you're even more let down due to the news he's brought.

It's been an everyday thing, waking up to a cold, empty space beside you in morning, and when you've been sleeping facing away from each other, a literal gap between you two, it makes your heart hurt. But you brush it off every time, seeming used to it.

It's been a weekly thing, him staying at Harry's, or rather, the twin's house overnight to finish this script they've been working so hard on. You were proud of course, never failing to support him through and through, but it doesn't make sleeping alone in that queen-size bed less dreadful.

Tom moved towards your place in front of the kitchen island, placing a swift kiss on your cheek before going for a glass of water. The gesture didn't make the butterflies in your stomach flutter as much as it used to, because there's something off, like he did it out of habit, not because he's sincere about it.

"Breakfast?"

Tom shook his head no as he chugged the tall glass of water empty. His eyes were elsewhere, never meeting yours as he muttered under his breath, "I'm going to go and take a shower."

He didn't even wait for a response as he swiftly left the kitchen, left you there to eat on your own, just like the past few.

You brush it off. You're getting used it.

***

"Wait, you're leaving now?" you asked with a frown, standing up from the couch once you saw Tom emerge from the hallway, dressed in a casual white shirt and denim jeans with a backpack slung over his shoulder.

He only nodded at you with a hum before retreating towards the kitchen, the sound of the fridge opening and closing bouncing off the white walls. You glanced at the clock perched on top of the fireplace: 10:46 am.

You couldn't stop your frown from deepening as you followed his figure towards the front door. "Uhm, you coming home for lunch?" you tried, still hopeful, even though you already know the answer.

"No, Harry and I will just order something." Tom lifted his head up from his phone to shoot you a small smile, to which you tried to return, and you did, it just didn't come out as honest as you wanted. He noticed this, his eyebrows furrowing as the curve on his lips slowly disappeared. "What's wrong?"

You shook your head and smiled wider, brighter, maybe a little too bright. "It's nothing," you breathed out to try and cover up the lie.

Of course you've talked to him about it, the whole him not often being home, not spending much time with you, but each time you brought it up, it always ends up in a fight. Always.

Voices are raised, accusations are then thrown, all of which are pointed towards you. Too clingy, not understanding his schedule, tying him down, not letting him live his life and it goes on and on and on, each one just cutting deeper, more painful than the prior.

You just don't have the energy to deal with it again, not now, not when he's about to leave. You can't bear to sleep alone as is, what more with an angry and hurting heart?

"Are you sure?" Tom asked, head tilted to the side, trying to get a read on your expression. You nodded, smile never wavering, "Yeah, have fun writing, I love you."

Those last three words hung in the air for a few seconds, almost taunting, deafening. You mean it, undeniably, from every letter to each syllable; you mean it with all your heart. But somehow, in some way, there's something tied to it. You couldn't pinpoint as to what it is exactly, but the words felt heavy between you two.

"Bye. I'll see you tomorrow." Tom cleared his throat before walking closer to you, arms wrapping nimbly around your form to give you a light squeeze, turning his head to press his lips on your cheek. His touch was feathery, making it feel like it's not even there in the first place. You could only hum with a nod, smile forced as you watched him out the front door, inside his car and drive off, disappearing down the road.

You let out a shaky breath as you willed yourself not to cry, fists opening and closing as if you're trying to get a hold of your sanity, anxiousness filling you up to the brim. Your eyes were trained on the skid marks left by the tires of his car, the only trace that he's been here, but also a reminder that he has once again left without even staying for a maximum of sixty minutes.

It's nothing. He's just busy.

Echoed your thoughts, over and over to try and reassure yourself, repeating it like a mantra to tune out the horrible conclusions, the nasty what if's that were crawling out of the depths of your mind, pushing its way to the surface.

It's nothing. He's just busy.

But there's always something about a gut feeling that is too strong for you to ignore.

***

"Thank you so much, have a good day." You smiled at the cashier, taking the two bags of take outs in each hand — Nando's to be specific — before making your way out of the building and into your car.

Once the bags were safely secured on the passenger's seat, you grabbed the wheel, but you stayed there for a few minutes, drumming your fingers against it. Your eyes glanced down at the key that was already in place, you just had to turn it and drive, but you hesitated.

You were having second thoughts if you should just go home and eat the food yourself, to just not bother to surprise Tom. You visited him on the first time he stayed at the twin's house, and that didn't end well. Your excited smile was quickly slapped off your face when Tom looked at you with nothing but anger and irritation. Said you were a distraction to him, not in a good way, and that's putting it lightly.

Harry and Sam tried to talk to him about it as they found Tom's outburst really uncalled for, but you digress, opting on just going home instead, not wanting to make the problem even bigger. After that, you never tried again.

But maybe this time it's different, maybe, once he sees you've ordered his favorite, he'll be happy about it.

Maybe.

***

Once parked in front of the twins' house, you let out a nervous breath, palms turning clammy as you stared at the image of a chicken plastered on the bag for a good minute. With a sharp intake of breath, you gathered all your courage before grabbing it and making your way out the car.

The walk towards the front door was making you feel anxious, maybe because of past experience or maybe you were just getting too into your head, but either way, your heart was pounding hard against your chest.

Few seconds after pressing the doorbell with a shaky finger, footsteps where soon heard on the other side. You held your breath, waiting for the door to open, and when it did, Harry emerged with a surprised and very confused look on his face.

"Y/N? Hey, what're you doing here?" the boy greeted with a hug, you returning the gesture as much as you could with full hands. He then moved out of the way as he added, "Come in."

"I wanted to surprise Tom with Nando's. I got you and Sam something too," you spoke as you walked down the hallway, lifting the bags up to prove your point, but Harry only furrowed his brows at you, expression growing even more confused, concerned even.

"Did someone say Nando's?" And on cue, Sam appeared, giving you a warm, welcoming hug before offering to take the bags from you to bring them to the kitchen.

Once he disappeared, Harry turned his attention back to you as you reached the living room. "Wait, Tom? I thought he was with you? He said he can't do a session today because he needed to spend time with you?"

It was your turn to look at him with a confused expression. "He said he was going to sleep over again because you're going to pull an all-nighter with the script," you said, hints of worry coating your voice, a certain feeling bubbling inside your stomach.

"Again? Tom hasn't spent the night here, ever." Harry's frown only deepened, especially when he saw the way your face fell at his words.

Knees weakening, you sat on the couch shakily, hands holding the cushion as you tried to steady yourself, both physically and emotionally.

"Does he even come here every week?" you asked, tone soft, a stark contrast to the chaotic battle inside your mind.

Harry sat beside you, his confusion not diminishing. "Well yeah, he comes at around eleven and then goes home after lunch."

You shook your head, bottom lip caught between your teeth as you avoided Harry's worried gaze. "He doesn't," you took a sharp breath. "He doesn't come home until the next day."

Your voice broke at the end of your sentence, tears brimming in your eyes as your head started to get clouded, darker with every ticking second. The grip you had on the cushion was tight, mind running a hundred miles per second, matching the harsh pace of your heart.

"Y/N, please tell me what's going on," Harry said softly, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. You met his gaze, contemplating, weighing if you should tell, or would it be too much to involve them in this too.

You've grown close with the twins, even with Paddy. You've been with Tom for three years, it wasn't surprising that you have grown that bond.

Granted, Harry and Sam have talked to you about their relationships, seeking advice, like a big-sister-little-brothers type of bond. With that said, this is different because it's Tom, their own brother. You don't know how you feel about talking ill about their brother whom they love so much.

"Look, I know you might think it's weird and awkward because Tom and I are brothers, or that I'll choose his side because he's my brother, but I won't if he's in the wrong. When he does something shitty, you know for a fact we'll be the first ones to call him out on it," Harry started once he saw your hesitation, wearing a reassuring smile as he gave your shoulder a squeeze. "And I'm just here to listen. I'm not going to get involved when it's not my place to be. I know you just need an outlet," he added.

You gave him a nod, breath shaky as you tried to think on it again. But with the situation at hand growing overwhelming, with the horrible thoughts eating away inside your brain, a month and a half long of keeping everything to yourself, suffering by yourself, you broke.

Fresh tears streamed down your face endlessly as you poured your heart out to Harry, sobs in between words as you tell him what's been going on, from the very beginning when you noticed something wasn't right, when things stared to change.

Sam came in the living room confused and worried, him and Harry sharing a look before he disappeared again and then came back with a glass of water, because he too understood what you needed, both of them knew you just needed to let it all out.

And you did.

***

The twin's offered for you to stay the night and you were glad. You have no idea what you'd do if you came back in the house and slept alone, don't know if you'd be able to stay sane.

They were both sweethearts about it, not jumping to conclusions of course but just tried to take your mind off of it, even if it's just for a little bit. But you knew you can't run and hide for too long.

It was nearing six pm when you decided it was time to go back home and face whatever it is you needed to face. The moment you turned the corner towards the house, your nerves erupted from head to toe, eyes trained on Tom's car that was parked right on the drive way.

Tears were already threatening to spill, but you kept strong, holding everything in as you turned off the ignition and made your way out of the car. When inside, you kept your head low as you took your shoes and jacket off, trying your hardest to not let out even the tiniest of sniffles.

You hear rustling in the kitchen, and surely enough, that's where you saw him, the one and only Tom Holland, eyebrows furrowed as he stared the cooking book down.

If it was any other day, your heart would've melted. You'd find the sight endearing as he navigates his way around the kitchen, but not today, not when your heart and mind were waging war against each other.

"You're home," you muttered, Tom's head lifting at the sound of your voice, a smile appearing its way onto his lips. It was a simple smile, innocent maybe, but it made your stomach slightly churn.

"Yeah, just arrived ten minutes ago," he said, tilting his head to the side in mere curiosity when you avoided his eyes at all costs, when you didn't even bother to come closer to him. "Where've you been?" he pondered.

You shrugged, seeming nonchalant as you turned your back on him, knowing that your face would give it all away the moment you ask him the question. "Just out. How was writing?"

It was an obvious bait, and of course, him being oblivious, he took it.

"Hard as usual, but we've made progress so it's great." The lie rolled off Tom's tongue like second nature, not even a single hint of remorse in his voice, and that in itself hurts. It made you wonder what else he could have lied about, which could have been so many, too many.

The doubts, the fears, the pain, it was consuming you, from every nerve to every bone, the stinging in your heart ever growing, turning harsher, an agonizing torture.

"What'd you want for dinner love?" he asked, the sound of a page flicking, ringing in your ear. You shut your eyes at the term of endearment, one he's only learned to use again just now, and with what you know, it only makes it hurt even worse.

Tom still had no clue to how you were breaking inside, thoughts trailing to a dark path because of his lies as he kept busy with whatever it is he was trying to cook.

You shook your head in response at his question, despite his eyes not being trained on you, despite him not having a clear view of you. You swallowed the lump in your throat, making sure to keep a steady, unwavering tone as you spoke, "I already ate."

"Oh, okay," was the last thing you heard from him as you rushed towards your shared bedroom, palm over your mouth to try and silence the sob the managed to escape.

Of course you'll confront him about it, but not now, you don't have any strength left to do so. You were tired, weakened after pouring it all out to the twins, and you weren't sure if you're ready to hear the truth, not sure if you would be able to handle it.

But despite trying to put it off, the universe had other plans, forcing you to confront it sooner rather than later.

***

Feet heavy, you made your way towards the bed, ready to just crash and drift off into a deep slumber, to escape reality but when you saw the number of glasses on Tom's bedside table, you couldn't help but sigh in dismay.

It's a habit of his, bringing a new glass of water each time and never taking the old one back, creating a whole bunch of just empty glasses on the table. It's become a routine for you to bring them back out yourself, him flashing you a guilty smile each time you give him a pointed look with your hands full of said glasses.

He'll be quick to put on his best puppy eyes to avoid your scolding, using his baby voice as he apologise and you always give in, unable to resist. Maybe that's why he hasn't really learned from it yet.

You made your way over his bedside table, seeing that there are four this time around. You took each one carefully, balancing two in a hand. Before you could turn around to go back to the kitchen, a familiar rectangular device caught your eye, one that was facing up and hooked on a cable. You stared at it for a minute, maybe more.

Two sides of you were bickering, fighting on who should be more in control. One was telling you to just have a peek, that it wouldn't hurt to snoop just a little bit. The other was telling you the exact opposite, that confronting him was the right path. It went back and forth for a moment, like an angel and devil sitting on each shoulder, and you were torn.

Regardless, as if some being was watching from above and controlling your odds, you didn't get to a decision when the screen lit up on its own.

At first glance, it was nothing but a photo of you and Tessa as the lock screen. Your smile was wide as Tessa gave you a proper lick on the cheek, so innocent, nothing but pure love, it was wholesome. But you weren't looking at that, no, your gaze was dead set on the text message that came through, the notification box screaming at your face.

Message from ***:

Had an amazing time last night, you sure know how to make a girl feel good ;) see you next week tommy xx

Ice cold, it was what you felt from head to toe, body numb but you felt oh so sick in your stomach, outright disgusted.

As a tear rolled down your cheek, the glasses you held with your fingers, slipped from your grasp, landing on the floor with a loud shatter. It turned to pieces, scattered on the floor in shards, all broken, a mirror of the state of your heart.

You stood in your place, stuck and frozen, unable to move as your whole world crashed and burst into flames. Everything you've ever known about your relationship, about him, all were thrown out the window, value reduced to nothing.

The worst nightmare that you've conjured in your head ended up being a reality. The nagging voice that you kept hearing over and over was right all along.

It was a matter of time for Tom to appear. You knew he heard the glasses breaking as you left the door ajar, and surely enough he came rushing in with a worried look on his face, eyes landing on your tear-coated face to the broken glass around your feet.

"Darling are you hurt? What happened?" he asked, the most he's been concerned of your being since the day it all changed.

Before he could take another step closer, you held a hand up, Tom stopping in his tracks, his concern replaced by confusion. "Tom, where were you last night?" you questioned again, hoping that he'll finally have some kind of remorse, but he didn't, he kept on his lies.

"I already told you, I was with Harry writin—"

"You weren't," you cut him off, the hurt in your voice crystal clear. "Sorry?" he asked, still confused, still unaware that you already know the truth. There was no beating around the bush anymore, you just couldn't take it for much longer. Head turning to look at him straight in the eyes, you stated bluntly,

"I was with Harry and Sam last night, you weren't."

Tom's whole face drained out of color, lips pressed into a thin line as he looked at you with guilt, and that's when you stared right at the face of a caught man.

Your lips trembled as you painfully held his gaze. Those brown eyes... looking at those brown used to fill you up with so much warmth, made you feel safe, loved. But now, you just felt betrayed, so betrayed.

"Who is she?"

Tom shook his head hurriedly, brows knitted together at your accusation. "What? There's no one—"

"Tom, please, don't make it hurt some more by lying to my face," you sobbed as you shook your head at him. He looked away at that, the pain in your eyes too much for him to handle, especially with the way your voice was filled with so much sorrow, all because of him.

"Who is she?" you asked again, firmer this time, the slight growl in your voice making Tom's head snapped back at you.

His frown deepened when his eyes fell on the floor for a second before it landed back on your face. "Darling please move away from there, you're going to get hurt," he coaxed, his heart hammering hard against his chest, thoughts a jumbled mess in his head as he watched you break little by little in front of him.

"Tom," you pleaded, not wanting to stall anymore, hands balling into fists as more tears ran down your face, each one dropping on the ground with a silent thump. Tom held his hands up in surrender as he nodded, "Just move away from the broken glass first, please Y/N."

You took a deep, shaky breath to try and rid of the anger, to try and be rational as you moved, stepping over the shards of glass with caution before fully facing him, keeping a much needed distance for you to stay sane.

Silence rang in the room as you waited for him to speak, to let the truth out because there was nowhere to hide anymore. Tom saw this in your eyes, how you just wanted honesty, so he swallowed the lump in his throat, eyes holding your gaze as his heart felt heavier.

"I met her at the press junket for Onward..." he trailed off, voice merely above a whisper but the words tasted vile against Tom's tongue, heart breaking, guilt overflowing once you let out a broken whimper.

You looked away, arms crossing over your chest in mere defense, and piece by piece, it all fell into place, the puzzle completed.

All those weeks of asking why he's been acting the way he is, cold and distant. Just asking why he hasn't given you any affection aside from the small hugs and barely-there kisses on the cheek. All the days questioning why he wouldn't touch you the way he used to, show you how much he loves you and now, well, now you know why.

He was giving it to someone else, showing it to someone else, fucking someone else and it hurts, cruelly it hurts.

Although some questions were now answered, a few more grew, like a hydra, cut off one head and two more shall grow.

Your heart was in deep, excruciating pain, head full of even more questions, full of why's, but something in you clicked, like a switch turning off as the anger left your body, as you slowly went numb.

"Please say something," Tom whispered, voice strained, and you can see how his hands were twitching, itching to reach for you, to hold you, but the look you were giving him was an enough hint for him to keep his distance.

"What do you want me to say?" you whispered, ever so softly as you screwed your eyes shut, the tears never ceasing to run down your already wet cheeks.

And the way that there was no anger in your voice anymore, just pure pain, it scared Tom, the dread starting to consume him. He knows you, he knows how much you blame yourself for the things you have no fault in, and he was sure you were blaming yourself right at this moment.

"Yell at me, curse me out, fucking hell, punch me in the face, anything. Please don't bottle it up," he begged, taking one step closer, and you stood in your place as you felt yourself shut down, brain closing off as well as your heart.

With a deep breath, you met his brown orbs again with a sad smile. "It's okay Tom."

That's when the tears brimmed in Tom's eyes, because that's when he knew. That was the tell-tale sign that you were done, that you weren't going to put up a fight anymore.

It was that moment when Tom knew that you've given up on the relationship, given up on him.

Flashes of memories clouded his vision, both good and bad. Then it was like he watched himself in third person as he came into terms as to how he treated you so badly for the past month and half.

It was like a big punch in the face as he was reminded of all the rotten and sinful things he's done, right at your face but especially behind your back.

How has he managed to become such a monster? A poor excuse of a man?

"It's not oka—"

"I just—I-I'm just going to leave," you ducked your head low and attempted to walk past him, but Tom was quick to grab your arm, turning you back around to face him.

"No, darling please, let me have it, blame me, please, be angry at me. This is all on me Y/N," Tom's lips trembled as he spoke, his shaking fingers interlacing with yours. His were eyes boring deep into your pain-filled orbs, just trying to find any sort of direction, because he has no clue on what to do anymore, no idea on how to fix things, if it was even fixable at this point.

"Tom, it's okay—"

"Stop saying that! You know it's not fucking okay!" Tom cried, his pink cheeks turning damp as he looked at you with so many emotions. There was the guilt, the regret, the hurt, and the fear, but most of those emotions are felt when everything is already too late.

And it was.

You let go of his hand and brought it up to cup his face, thumb grazing his skin sweetly as you gave him a small smile.

This made Tom cry harder. You were such a sweetheart, a kind soul, and the fact that he took advantage of that, the fact that he broke your precious heart when you did nothing but love him unconditionally, Tom wanted to beat himself up until he's all knocked out.

"You already made your choice Tom, and now, I think it's time I make mine," you said softly. The way that you were being so calm about this was unbearable. It was like you're taking the hit like you deserved it, and this was making Tom feel even more disgusted at himself than he already is.

"What is your choice?" Tom held his breath, waiting for the worst case scenario as he leaned into your touch, not knowing if he'll ever feel it again after this.

"Me."

You didn't need to explain yourself, and you saw it in his eyes that he understood. For the month that he's changed, you were so patient with him, always thought about what he feels, making excuses for him and seeing it in his perspective. But now, it was time for you to think about your own feelings too, to think what's best for you, to put yourself first.

Now, you were choosing yourself.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm such a fucking asshole, I'm sorry. You don't deserve this," Tom sobbed, words repeating over and over, realising deep inside how much he's wasted your love, how much he's thrown away, and the reason wasn't even worth it, he threw it all for nothing. He dropped his head, feeling too ashamed of himself, he was so revolted by what he's become, all the things he done.

You let out a soft sob, both hands now holding his face as you slowly lifted his head back up. "Be happy, that's all I want for you," you said, and you meant it.

You were surprised yourself how you don't feel much resentment. Maybe it was how strong your love was for him, or maybe it just hasn't sunk in yet, but you do mean it. You still want him to be happy, with whatever choice he has to make next.

"You know I don't deserve that," Tom whimpered with a shake of his head, bottom lip quivering as the pain he felt only magnified from there.

You didn't respond to that anymore, knowing that it was time to go, that you needed to go. What you did next just broke Tom's heart even more. You leaned closer, your lips feeling warm against his forehead, pulling away as you stared into his brown eyes with a broken smile on your lips, and you whispered, oh so tenderly,

"I love you."

Tom didn't get to say another word, didn't get a chance too as you took his hands, gave it one last squeeze before making your way out the room.

He stood there, incapable of moving, mind lost, his heart all broken, and when he heard the front door slam shut, that's when everything finally came into light, the weight of his actions, the weight of his choices.

Tom turned towards his bedside table, treading slowly to avoid the glass. With the phone in hand, he turned it on. He felt himself grimace at the message that he assumed you read, such a vile and revolting thing, what he did. But it was unimportant to him now as he closed it, the screen now cleared.

A soft whimper came out of his lips as he stared at the screen, you and Tessa staring right back at him, your smile bright with so much joy and light covering your features. Tom felt so angry at himself knowing that he caused that smile to disappear, that he was the reason why the light has been snuffed out of you.

It's so ironic how realization always comes too late, because just now does Tom realize how much he's lost, how much he screwed things up. Tom just wasted all those precious years where you did nothing but love him, cherish him, brought him nothing but utter happiness. You made him the best man that he could be, and he destroyed that.

With a gut wrenching scream, Tom threw his phone with all his might, the device hitting the wall with a loud crack. It fell on the floor with a thump just as Tom fell on the bed with a broken sob, face buried in his hands, body trembling with cries.

You were right, Tom already made his choice a month ago, it just happened to be the wrong one, the most disgusting and horrible one. Now he has to suffer with the aftermath, and rightfully so, he deserves it, if not, even more.

Because the choices we make, no matter how little it may be, they will always have consequences, and those consequences you will have to deal with, even if it's bad, even if it hurts.

Tom made a choice, and now he has to live with the consequences.

-:-:-:-:-

Like, Reblog & Leave a Comment if you enjoyed! Tell me your thoughts! <3

Tom H. Taglist: @spacebitch2 @hollanddolanfangirl @keepingupwiththehollands @hollandsamor

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sapphichotmess · 11 months ago

Text

ahhh ty for the tag, hun!! (i still can’t believe we’re mutuals haha)

1. were you named after someone?

nope! i’ve got a pretty old name, though.

2. when was the last time you cried?

yesterday night /this morning. don’t know which it was. i’m a crybaby and cry over everything, though.

3. do you have kids?

no. i pretty much had to raise my younger sister so ive done enough of that. plus, if anything, i’d love to adopt when i’m older.

4. what sports do you play/have you played?

i played softball my whole life until college (because i’m not very good, lmao)

5. do you use sarcasm?

all of the time! i learned it at a very young age and never stopped using it lmao.

6. what’s the first thing you notice about people?

i’m not sure! i think i notice hair and height first, but i don’t really think when i’m meeting people haha.

7. what’s your eye color?

green/hazel

8. scary movies or happy endings?

happy endings, but scary movies can be fun!

9. any talents?

no, not really. i’m good at being an attention whore? does that count? lmaoo

10. where were you born?

the midwest

11. what are your hobbies?

writing, reading, crocheting, listening to music, and playing the sims.

12. do you have any pets?

i have two cats (lady and sir buttermilk biscuit) but i consider my mom’s dogs my pets, too.

13. how tall are you?

5’7-ish

14. favorite subject in school?

i’m an english major so i love my english classes but i also love social work, philosophy, and psych classes!

15. dream job?

i don’t know! i’ve been looking into the publishing industry recently, but i have so many ideas of what i want to do! i want to write a book, i want to run a coffee shop; i want to do a lot of things haha!

no pressure tags: @tinygarbage @pamasaur @planet-marz1 & anyone else who wants to! <3

THANK YOU FOR TAGGING ME EMILY @lemon-bats 🥰🥰

1. Were you named after anyone?

To the best of my knowledge no, at least for my real name! My internet name, Rags, I actually just ended up snagging from one of my OCs - a washed up rockstar named Cosimo Ragatz, who was a recovering drug addict that founded an indie record label with his wife.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Oh god, it was some time last week?? So much real life stuff had piled up and I think it was honestly some kind of mini-break or smth, god only knows. But I’m feeling better now lol.

3. Do you have kids?

ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY NOT LMAO. My mom passed when I was young and I raised my younger siblings, I’ve done my time in the child rearing mines and I’m never doing it again.

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

For a really long time I rode horses and I was a really good three day eventer. I also really loved archery and swimming. I also rode dirt bikes too, and I’d love to get back into it!! 🥰🥰

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Yes indeed!! But I’m not sure that I use it as much as I used to. Not for any particular reason, I don’t think dgheh.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

I’m boring and predictable and I pretty much always notice height first 😂😂 I do also notice face shapes and noses, though!!

7. What’s your eye color?

Dark brown that leans pretty close to black dfhjd.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Each have their own benefits and negatives!! A time and a place for everything 👏👏

9. Any talents?

I’m a good writer, and I’m pretty good at accents! I also like to think I’m the funniest asshole in any given room at any time 😂😅

10. Where were you born?

Commonwealth of Virginia babeyyyyy 🦩 there aren’t cardinal emojis, but I’m still barely south enough to be southern lol.

11. What are your hobbies?

I like posting video games, writing, playing dnd, a lil bit of digital art. Painting my nails. Dfhjd. Running outta stuff here, uhhhh. Panicking trying to remember my meds, but that’s more a full time occupation lol.

12. Do you have any pets?

Four dogs (a cocker spaniel, a border collie, a pit bull, and a boxer lab 🥰🥰), some barn cats, and a little grade paint horse named Rooster who’s a complete ASSHOLE.

13. How tall are you?

5’6” or 5’7”, it depends on how tall I want to feel that day dghjd

14. Favorite subject in school?

History and English!!! I really wanted to be a historical researcher for a career when I was in school and I still think about it. I would’ve liked to study Appalachian history from pre-Civil War to present.

15. Dream job?

LOL 😂😂 historical researcher, possibly an author, or a rare and antique jewelry shop owner siiigh. I really fell in love with fine jewelry at my last job, and I would DIE to be able to do it again, but in a much more niche fashion.

No Pressure tags: @smoggyfogbottom @brilliantblasphemer @dotcie @kastlequill @skinnyazn @snail-eggs @lunarvicar @siriusleee 💖💖

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bokutobaes · 4 years ago

Text

inarizaki boys when you have a bad day

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭ .・.

☆-with: atsumu, suna, kita

☆-!warnings!: swearing, parental issues, parents fighting, (there’s nothing physically violent), illness like the flu

☆-a/n: yall these are longgg LOL sorry

☆- author: lu <3

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭ .・.

☆ atsumu:

-his baby had a bad day :((

-just kidding he didn’t notice at first I’m so sorry nzjsjjsj

-your lockers are nearby so he’s usually waiting for you there first thing in the morning

-you woke up today with a headache and you were just really tired from studying last night :/

-you wanted to suck it up because it was your own fault for leaving the studying until the night before the test you had

-anyways, you were walking up to your locker lowkey trying to avoid eye contact with him

-“hi tsumu :)” u fricken liar with that fake smile

-“morning babe!” atsumu pulled u in for a back hug “i have to get to class kinda early for a test review so i’ll see you at lunch”

-and with that he was pecking your cheek and leaving

-“okay.. kind of good” you thought.. you didn’t wanna worry him or anything so you headed to you first class, math

-hell literally broke loose.. you forgot your pencil case and had to ask like 4 people until you got one which was embarrassing

-AND THEN the teacher called on you for an answer that you didn’t know like the universe

was against you or something

-“uhh... ummm i don’t know..” headass😩

-the class after that was slightly less dehumanizing but it was also japanese class.. the class you had a test in that you just barely studied for

-you did the test and lost braincells, blood sweat and tears LOL

-“okay class these will be graded by lunchtime so please come by to collect your scores before your next class”

-ogey :/ anyways u went to ur next class and before u knew it, it was lunch time.

-a text from atsumu made your phone vibrate while on your way to get your test scores

-“hey babe im actually gonna eat lunch with samu we’re practicing a bit at lunch”

-oh :) ok :) that’s fine :) not like u :) desperately:) need a hug :) right now :)

-“oh okay babe” you text back

-whatever u don’t need him independent queen

-that’s your mindset.. until you get those test scores

-it’s a literal fail .. did not pass the test.. ok..

-“y/n san, these test scores were not your usual best. I’m slightly disappointed, if there’s anything going on please let me know”

-“thank you sensei. i’ll do better next time.

-at this point you were just tying not to cry so you took your test and shouldered your bag and walked to a bench outside for some fresh air.

-right.. you didn’t bring lunch today

-so now you were hungry, tired, defeated, disappointed and lonely :,(

-the last class of your day went by quickly probably because you were zoned out the whole time

-the end of the day came and you were at your locker when your guardian texted you

-“Y/n, you had that test today right? I’m expecting to see the grade when your back home. Didn’t have time to make food tonight so find something to eat on your way home.”

-oh that test ? lol hahaha the one that you failed?! yeah that one haha lol lollll

-so with that, you started your walk home

-“y/n!!”

-fuck. atsumu.

-if you saw him now you knew you wouldn’t be able to hold in your tears and you really didn’t want to cry

-so your solution? pretend you didn’t hear him and walk faster lmfaokdhdh

-but atsumu, being.. well atsumu, decided to just full speed sprint towards you to put his shoulder around you

-“i literally know you heard me. i missed you today sorry about lun- why are you crying ?!!?”

-“bad day” you choked out before a shuddering gasp wracked your chest

-atsumu didn’t say anything he just wrapped you in a tight hug, petting you hair while you cried into his chest

-“its okay babe.. “ :(

-“you wanna come over? we can get food and cuddle”

-you nodded your head taking a shaky breath

-his hand reached out and wiped your tears, brushed your hair behind your ear and kissed your forehead like it was natural to him.

-and so you walked together hand in hand to atsumu’s house where you ate samu’s leftover onigiri and vented to atsumu about the day while you cuddled

-he also gave you a hoodie :,)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭ .・.

☆ suna:

-“living is a chore :|” you thought as the alarm rang through your room ruining your peaceful sleep

-it was raining outside and your mind went back to last night, the screaming match your parents had

-normally you’d be used to it but it felt like they were starting to take the anger they had for each other out on you now

-you tried not to but you started thinking about all the things your mom had yelled to you through the closed door of your bedroom

-“your just like your father. you’re selfish, lazy and all you do is run around with that little boyfriend of yours! what about your family?! you think your better then us? why don’t you move out then since your so good at being independent?!”

-everything she said was always completely blown out of proportion, she lied all the time. it’s exhausting for you

-you started getting ready for school, you wanted to see suna and your friends and laugh and just forget last night even happened

-when you got to school suna was there at your locker scrolling lazily through his phone

-you smiled, genuinely as he looked up and greeted you with a smirk

-“nice hair.”

-“wha-“ you started and then smacked his arm when you realized that your baby hairs were out of sorts “shutup” you scowled

-“good morning” suna hugged you

-“good morning”

-now you were off to class, it always went by too fast, you thought. school was always done in the blink of an eye

-“what’re you doing at lunch?” your friend tapped your shoulder and whispered to you

-“mmm nothing probably why?”

-“let’s eat on the roof today! yui told me there’s gonna be a rainbow cuz it stopped raining.”

-“okay” you smiled

-now at lunch with your friends you ate the bento you had packed before. the rainbow was there and it was beautiful

-you were having fun just laughing with your friends and texting suna while he sent terrible photos of atsumu. things were good, you had forgotten about your mom

-until the end of the day came and you had to go back home

-as usual suna was at his locker waiting so that you could walk home together

-after crossing the street you and suna were at a bike path, trees surrounding the fences

-it was a comfortable silence until...

-“what’s wrong?”

-suna asking took you by surprise, you didn’t think you were acting any different. were you?

-“what are you talking about”

-“you look sad, you did this morning too but then you were fine the rest of the day so I didn’t say anything. but, you look sad again now”

-“oh..”

-so suna just saw right through you

-“ um.. i’m okay.. it’s just ..” you laughed dryly “i don’t really want to go home”

-“did something happen?”

-“yeah.. my parents were fighting, it turned into this whole thing.” you felt a lump in your throat start to form “i don’t really wanna talk about it”

-“okay. you should just come over then, right?”

-“can i?”

-“you literally don’t even have to ask me anymore y/n” suna grabbed your hand and led the way

-when you got there suna hopped on his couch and started putting on something from netflix

-“my parents aren’t home, my sister has a dance thing today” he grabbed a blanket and you sat down, putting your head in his lap

-suna put on a comedy show, of course he would

-he played with your hair while you watched and after an episode or two, he asked

-“do you want to talk about it now?”

-and so you did, you told him what happened last night and what your mom said. your plan was to not cry but that failed miserably

-suna listened intently, he told you the truth, he said that what she said wasn’t true, he told you you could sleepover whenever you needed to.

-kissed you and wrapped you back in the blanket

-“i love you, you know that right? always.”

-he always knew what to say and you loved him for that

-“i love you too, suna”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭ .・.

☆ kita:

-kita knew, first thing he noticed when he saw you that you weren’t okay

-you woke up with a terrible headache, aching body and stomachache

-so this is it? this is hell? ok.

-but the test.. you had a test today. fortunately you had actually studied for weeks because you knew it was important

-mentally? you were ready for that test. physically? you had the spanish influenza

-so you weighed the options and decided you would go to school, take the test and then come back home after.

-the problem with that was that kita would in fact lecture you on all the reasons you should not have come to school

-he was right of course, but you still decided that you would need to avoid him for today

-spoiler alert it did not work

-your test was your third class of the day so you only had to get through 2 classes and you’d leave at lunch perfectly avoiding kita

-this was what you thought while you were at your locker until you closed it and walked directly into kitas chest

-“wow”

-“good morning y/n-chan”

-“morning kita! i have to go or I’ll be late!”

-you ran😭 and you almost got away too but kita grabbed your arm and pulled you to one side of the hallway

-he felt your forehead and both cheeks

-“you have a fever y/n”

-“no I don’t I’m just hot from walking to school”

-he said 😐

-you signed and rested your head on his chest letting your arms dangle

-“why did you come? you look sick”

-“thanks. I have a test.”

-“how do you feel?”

-you told him your symptoms but also that you were leaving right after the test and you could pull through

-he really didn’t want you to overwork yourself but he knew you were set on taking the test

-so he let you go and he made you promise to text him between classes and let him know if you felt any worse

-and off you went

-honestly, you were fine up until halfway through your second class.. then you started feeling really cold and tired even kind of nauseous

-then in the third class your test was put onto your desk and before you knew it your teacher was saying “begin”

-okay. you can do this you thought to yourself. the test was easy enough with how much you studied, you thought about every answer and you tried to finish quick

-but then it was like time cut itself in half and the bell for lunch was ringing

-you weren’t even done the test yet

-“y/n you can stay in here until your done but i expect you to have it finished soon”

-one question left

-you don’t even remember what you ended up putting before you were up and giving the paper to your teacher

-kita was right there when you left the classroom

-“hey ..hey.. y/n”

-you could barely hear him you just flopped into his arms

-“okay I’m taking you home.. “

-“but..”

-“shh let’s go”

-you don’t remember getting there but then you were in your bed smothered in pillows and blankets

-kita came in

-“what time is it?”

-he looked at his phone “half past 4”

-“4?!” you jolted up “did you even go back to school?” “kita?!”

-he smiled at you “no but it’s okay y/n it was only one day. i wanted to take care of you

-you noticed he had a steaming cup of something in his hands

-“what’s that” you asked

-“its tea, but it’s special tea :)”

-“what do you mean” you laughed

-“my grandma showed me how to make it, it’s gonna make you feel a lot better”

-he’s so cute...

-“kita... you didn’t have to do all this”

-“i wanted to” he sits beside you and hands you the tea

-literally tasted like heaven

-“mmmmm oh my god”

-kita laughed and kissed you on the cheek before joining you in the bed

-you cuddled and watched movies on your laptop until you fell asleep, comfortable in your boyfriends arms

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