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tobiasdrake · 10 months ago

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We have a terrible plan but it's the best we can do under these circumstances. Let's go get us a ship.

If we're still on the ship when it un-dusks, is that bad for us? Do we know?

Also, Teaks said it was imprisoned in a perpetual storm, but apparently it flickers in and out of reality? That was bugging me when we saw it do that the first time. Is the perpetual storm on the other side of the flicker?

This seems way more complicated than "Angry ghost captain summoned a furious storm." Do we know... anything? I mean, I assume not because it's one of those "If no one lived to tell the tale then who told the tale?" kind of things. If no one's ever been to the Vespertine and come back then no, we don't know anything. How would we?

Imagine signing on to a pirate journey for a specific mission and then being told you can't participate in the one thing you were here to do. They should mutiny. And by mutiny, I mean sneak around behind our backs to come along anyway.

It's what we'd do. With Garl. Specifically.

...Garl over here proudly displaying the scars of my mistakes and meanwhile Patches is over there with perfectly fine eyes covered by two eyepatches and he is not sharing.

There is logic in what the Captain's saying. But I nonetheless can't endorse it because y'all know what we'd be doing in the crew's shoes. Our history speaks for itself.

I dunno. Maybe these pirates are better disciplined than Solstice Warriors are. I thought we were the upstart renegades against proper protocol but Bugraves and Erlina blew us right out of the water in the field of doing what you aren't supposed to. Our disobediences look quaint by comparison.

I guess Moraine isn't a very good indoctrinator. He's been a dismal failure at passing along dogma and shaping belief systems in his students. The Solstice Warriors simply aren't up to the same standards of conformity, blind faith, and rigid structuralism that you so famously find in piracy.

Okay, enough sad reflection. We're on a mission to steal a legendary vessel from a captain with no ownership of it using a magical artifact we no longer possess. Gonna need my game face on because unwarranted confidence is the only asset we have right now.

Ghost ship? More like toast ship amirite?

Look, I was thinking about other stuff, not working on zingers. Point is, we're awesome. What they got? Crusty old bones? Ask Roro how well that went for her!

So what if we lost the coin. We're still going to get the ship. We just have to use Plan B. Don't worry, everybody has a price when the currency is violence.

Oh, I'm ready. I am focused and--

Hold up, if we can control the cycle of night and day, can't we just rewind the clock to the night of the eclipse for another eclipse boost? We have technology in place to do this; Why aren't we using this ability to spam eclipses whenever we--

Oh hey Serai. When did you get here? And where did the pirates go?

...

Oh shit. I mean. WHOA! You were Captain Cliche this WHOLE TIME!? I am both shocked and honored that.... No, sorry, I can't do it.

Same reason you don't call someone out as gay no matter how transparent their glass closet is. I'm a firm believer in identity authoritarianism. You want to present as Mysterious Masked Figure, I'm not gonna stop you.

But now that we're actually having this conversation, yes, everyone already knew.

Don't think of it as losing the macguffin. Think of it as buying a supremely talented chef who will support the ungodly amounts of violence we are about to inflict.

That's okay, your plan was always bad anyway. You should have spent some time at camp talking to Teaks.

Honestly, after our trip to the Dweller's mansion, I'm looking forward to a return to the pleasant simplicity of bashing zombie skulls until they stop moving. Been warming my beatstick in anticipation.

Yeah, we're stupid like that.

Anyway, HANDS IN THE AIR. This is a robb-- Wait, no, that was yesterday. Sorry. Wrong script. Ahem. This is a shipjacking. Still larceny, different genre.

Ha! Success! Now to find out if we die!

Oh, pleasantries! Yeah, nice to meet you. I'm guessing you must be the navigator who wanted a better life? Did they make you captain after the mutiny?

Really should have demanded more than one curse-breaker soulstone from Roro. At the very least, instructions on how to make them would be nice to have, if we're going to keep involving ourselves with every curse on the planet.

Anyways, back to business.

This is a shipjacking. How do you say "Hand 'er over" in pirate curse? In any case, I know it doesn't look like it but Serai is definitely pointing a gun at you right now.

^_^ I'm the gun.

Technically, that only proves that one of us is real. The rest could still be imaginary.

Zale and I are too associated with each other and Serai showed up late in the game. So if one of us is meandering around having hallucinations of companionship, it's probably Garl. This whole thing could be a story he's making up in his head, thinking about the dear friends that were taken from him and who left him alone in childhood.

Probably not, though. I'm sure you're fine, Garl.

We also have a whole fifth person stuffed in his backpack!

Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Hortence. I would shake your hand but you're dead, ethereal, and possibly on fire.

In any case, I was already on your side of this argument from before we even met so I'd be happy to beat Stormcaller with a stick until he relents. Then you can retire to the unlife you wanted from the start and/or pass on, and we can take your ship.

Everybody wins. Except Stormcaller. But, y'know, fuck him.

The rest of the crew are brainless undead now. Unfortunate, but convenient. It means we don't need to worry about their opinions of the deal we're making.

Sucks for them. They all died for the Captain's hissy fit, which they were specifically trying to end by getting rid of the little shit. The crew did nothing wrong. They're as much victims of Stormcaller's unreasonable tantrum as Hortence is.

But it's super convenient for us that only one person has any ownership claim to this vessel now, and it's the person who wanted to leave from the start. That will help our shipjacking go super smoothly.

Oh, there's a third option. We buy him out. Everyone has a price when the currency--

Goddammit, I already used that line. I wasted it on you, Serai. Why did I do that? I didn't need to impress you! You already think I'm cool!

Okay. But. Counterpoint. I hit things really, really hard. It's hard to do magic when you're being hit really, really hard. There's a game mechanic for that and everything.

Considering everything that we came from on Wraith Island? Yes. I do feel good about our chances here.

#sea of stars #drake plays sea of stars

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betafreud · 1 year ago

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@roosterlasagne ur right i apologize let me try again (and yes i did write the show)

arthur: im gonna go fight the bad guy. he will probably kill me

merlin: im coming with u

arthur: dude what no it's too dangerous i don't want you to get hurt messing up the mission

merlin: arthur-

arthur: nope non negotiable. stay here and clean the horses or something

SCENE CHANGE

gaius: merlin clean my leech cage

merlin: cant, im moping in my room

gaius: ok fine go after arthur and die see if i care

merlin: he already told me not to go

gaius: ur two sides of the same coin u should go

merlin: "wE'rE tWo SiDeS oF tHe SaMe CoIn" yeah okay i'll go after him

SCENE CHANGE

bad guy: arthur i see you have found me

arthur: im gonna kill u, let morgana/gwen/random lady go!

bad guy: make magic legal

arthur: dude what are you dumb no way

merlin: (appearing from behind a tree) hi arthur

arthur: dude i need to do this on my ownnnnn why r u here

merlin: cause ur a dollophead/cabbagedick/horsetaint/bitchboy

bad guy: hey arthur u should make magic legal ur boyfriend is a wizard

arthur: merlin? a wizard? oh my god u cant be serious

merlin: yeah haha im not. a wizard. or his boyfriend. i think. the line is a little shaky

arthur: merlin is my best friend and would never betray me (stabs bad guy)

bad guy: oueeeghhhhhhh owwww

arthur: talk about a monday, amirite?

SCENE CHANGE

merlin: (by the fire) did you mean what you said? about. yknow.

arthur: being your friend? maybe

merlin: (staring into his eyes. the tension is so strong. colin morgan is putting his whole pussy into this scene) arthur i will never betray you. you have my loyalty and respect. you are my king and i love you respect you deeply

arthur: (bradley is also putting his whole pussy into this scene) merlin... (there mouths are so close. please get a room) ur a good friend (they shake hands)

SCENE CHANGE

gaius: merlin clean my leech cage

(credits roll) (laughter roars)

kilgarrah: (sensually) merlin... 😏

FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO GET INTO MERLIN BUT DONT HAVE TIME TO WATCH THE SHOW: this is how every episode of merlin goes.

--------

bad guy: (in a dark forest outside camelot) ARGH uther will PAY for what he has done to me

SCENE CHANGE

merlin: im gonna do my chores with magic

gaius: merlin dont do that. now go clean the leech cage. and check on arthur. and fetch me a plant.

merlin: UGH my life sucks

SCENE CHANGE

merlin: hi arthur wake up

arthur: i actually hate you. leave. but wait actually nvm come with me on a quest im gonna be the king baby. we ride at dawn

merlin: ok

gwen: hi merlin hi m'lord im not important in this episode. but im here to cut the homoerotic tension.

arthur: merlin get out

SCENE CHANGE

bad guy: (still in the woods) im making an evil plan

SCENE CHANGE

kilgarrah: psst. pssst. merlin

merlin: wtf do u want

kilgarrah: arthur needs u theres an evil guy. also can u set me free. and morgana is evil

merlin: what no arthur doesnt need me. and no sorry. and what no kys morgana is my friend

kilgarrah: ok fuck u then

merlin: wait no what where r u going

SCENE CHANGE

bad guy: (via magical telepathy) haha i captured morgana

uther: oh no

arthur: we gotta rescue her. merlin u idiot lets go. i hate u.

SCENE CHANGE

arthur: (in front of a campfire) ykow merlin ur pretty cool

merlin: thanks. ur a fucking asshole.

arthur: lets run away together

merlin: ok-omg look a bad guy

bad guy: im gonna kill u

arthur: (swinging his sword and missing) nuh uh

merlin: (laser eyes) yay hes dead

arthur: UGH merlin ur so useless why didnt u help me.

merlin: kys.

SCENE CHANGE

gaius: whats wrong merlin

merlin: i feel like arthur hates me. i wish he could know how powerful i really am.

gauis: damn that sucks. anyways have u cleaned the leech cage yet

(ROARING LAUGH TRACK)

#bbc merlin #dude idk why i wrote this #also sorry i reblogged this from someone else instead of myself but im too lazy to fix it #merthur

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supercantaloupe · 1 year ago

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🦅 ✅🤲

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants? - depends on the fic. for short fics i don't bother, for long fics i'll usually plan them in advance but it's a coin toss whether the outline ever gets written down or just lives in my brain. for fics that start out short and then spiral out of control in length its usually by the seat of my pants lol

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to? - describing the same set of Small Gestures over and over again, oh my gd. take a drink every time i mention that a character blinks or chuckles or sniffs or glances at someone or fidgets with their fingers or whatever...i tend to have a very well defined visual image of things as i read/write/imagine them, and as a Theater Person(tm) and guy who took about one and a half film study classes in their day, the visual aspect is important to me, so i guess that's why i constantly reference that in writing. i hope it doesn't come off as annoying to readers tho lol

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip? - fuck context amirite fellas

“Did you let yourself into my apartment?” Ethan asks. Elvira pauses for a beat. “Well, you weren’t answering your phone at all, I got worried--” “While I was asleep?” Ethan struggles to keep calm. “That’s not why I gave you my spare key, I--” “Simply irresistible,” Giovanni coos. He steps closer, and brushes a finger along her hip, trails it slowly up the side of her body. “I hadn’t heard from you in a few days, and I came over to find you passed out on your couch, I think that’s exactly what it’s--” Giovanni steps between the two of them, and cups her chin in his hand. “Good job, man.” Ethan breaks from his stone stillness and lunges forward, yanking Giovanni out of the way. “You need to leave,” he says suddenly, insistent. Elvira flinches, startled, shuffling backwards til her legs hit the couch. “What!?” “I’m sorry, this is a bad time, you need to go,” Ethan says, keeping his head down, refusing to look at anyone. He bites his cheek, hearing the don erupt into laughter at his side, and moves to put himself between the two of them and usher Elvira back towards the door.

[ask meme]

#sasha answers #ask meme #let the poet bless this round #lonelyroommp3 #ty!

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fluoresensitivearchived · 4 years ago

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hi, yah yah ❣️ apologies if you’ve already talked about this before but i was wondering what your favourite romantic tropes/ elements in fiction are? i personally enjoy when romance and horror coexist in a tale, and i love the way some of your stories have touched on that link. anyway, hope your day’s going pleasant!

I haven't! And God, yes, I really love the idea of romance and horror being two sides of the same coin, and I love that every Good horror story is also a romantic one! Some other romantic tropes in fiction that I adore are;

The entire concept of soulmates, especially soulmates that are made and are sustained throughout lifetimes. First example that comes to mind is Howl's Moving Castle, then The Old Guard, and you know what... The Broken Earth trilogy, platonically with Essun and Alabaster

I love when death isn't the end. I love when love does not stop at the grave. To quote Odette Ain't no grave can hold my body down, wahoooo!

I'm so easy, I see nemeses and enemies with very similar backgrounds and views starting to fall in love because they are each other's polar opposite and I lose my whole shit. Love an enemies to lovers, love to see people go from homoerotic swordfights to straight up gay kissing, amirite kids?

Utterly obsessed with the idea of going through actual hell to retrieve somebody. Orpheus and Eurydice hive make some noise, please. Something other than pained groaning.

Revenge... Now, follow me on this journey. There's nothing quite as romantic as revenge, both in the enemies-AND-lovers sense and in the sense of vengeance for your lover. I like to see a lil gay stabbing to repay another gay stabbing as much as I like to see an Achilles killing Hector for killing his one true love, Patroclus, you feel me?

#🌙#OH YOU GOT ME ROMANTIC BEFORE 8PM #on romance #tenderness tag

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jigensass · 3 years ago

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Apparently my brain is not done talking about this movie and still had a lot more to say.

I was going to put this in Discord as a response but I deemed it more fitting for its own Tumblr post because it is a lot about why people are mad at Multiverse of Madness. Writing down all the evidence for me about people's justifications for despising this made me see the other side and agree that even though I said that yes, Wanda and Stephen were two sides to the same coin with their trauma, I think people wanted a happier ending.

Wanda was never treated kindly in the MCU, it was one tragedy after another for her. Losing Pietro in Age of Ultron, losing Vision, losing her kids, real or not. And for her to go out like that was truly heartbreaking. She was right about people perceiving her as the villain when she never was. It was kind of ironic when they revealed the truth about what Stephen did in Earth-838 and how the Illuminati covered up his choice and painted him to be a hero. And I'm not saying I praise the movie for letting Stephen get away with using the Darkhold. In all honesty the third movie should have all of his unspoken actions of questionable morality (basically every major choice he has made in every movie he has a major role in) go accounted for, especially if he does get to stand in front of the Vishanti when (and if) they decide to make him Sorcerer Supreme. Truth be told, this movie really should have been a Scarlet Witch solo film where she actually won and overcame her trauma either with Stephen's support or on her own. Because the other main complaint I saw that not only did Wanda get shafted, but Stephen did too because of Michael Waldron who was probably the root cause for why Loki Season 1 ended in disaster (did not watch Loki, but I saw what happened and that alone ruffled my feathers). Now that I think about it, Stephen and Wanda should have worked out their problems together because they rooted from literally the same source, but he got put into the role as 'protective dad who bottles up his trauma'. And what is worse about Wanda is that literally no one will know of her sacrifice of destroying every known Darkhold outside of Wong, Stephen, and America and she will only be known for the terror she caused.

No one really won, but just like with Infinity War, it was very clear who the favorites were. And it definitely wasn't Natasha, Tony, or Wanda. Because they were the ones who got screwed in their closure from the events of IW either by dying or suffering so much pain you become so traumatized you become delusional, obsessed, depressed, and then ya die.

Anything beyond this post is me shit posting don't take it seriously.

I'm saying it now Scott and Sam, if you ever see this post, this is what I want for the third movie, if the third movie is already in the works. Third time this long running joke about me predicting Doctor Strange movie plots is the charm, amirite?

1. Clea shows Stephen the true actions of his questionable decisions throughout every film and how she has had to clean up after his ass.

I speculate that Clea has been a thing in the MCU since No Way Home. The purple magic that closed the rips in space time? That was her cleaning up his goddamned mess.

2. The Vishanti in their physical forms. Heck, just give us weird caterpillar Agamatto.

3. Dormammu in his humanoid form and Umar. And make sure that Benedict Cumberbatch plays Dormammu again so in the final fight he's literally hitting himself and kicks his own ass with the science of judo.

4. Do not make Clea a damsel in distress. If she is going to be Stephen's new love interest, she better have that personality she has in the new comic where she takes no shit and openly announces she has 'warlord blood' in her veins and makes Stephen her bitch just like Fujiko Mine did with Lupin the Third. And set her on fire. I want her to save this reveal of her being Dormammu's niece for after the kiss so he can be shocked and question all of his life decisions that led him to this.

Too bad Stephen will never get the three way he secretly fantasized about with Clea and Wanda cause ya killed Wanda.

And once again. I. Am. Not. Making. This. Shit. Up.

5. Obviously we have to have another new supporting character like America Chavez. I request Billy Kaplan aka the gay Demiurge himself from one of the other universes. Too bad we can't have Damien Helstrom cause he already got his own Hulu series that everyone including myself, forgot about.

6. Make Stephen bisexual you goddamned cowards. It is written in the ancient texts that all magic users are bisexual. If you make Tony canonically bisexual in the comics with an orgy you can do it with Stephen. Make him confess his love for Wong or bring it Namor out of nowhere and let him have a mancrush on him.

And finally

7. More. Fucking. Tentacles.

#spoilers #multiverse of madness #doctor strange #wanda maximoff

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deiaiko · 1 year ago

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#17.2 Auri

Shibisu was beat. His match with Agni must have been the lamest out of everyone. He couldn't land a single blow on him no matter how hard he tried. All the while knowing that Agni was going easy on him. Still, Agni offered him an outstretched hand and pulled him up to his wobbly feet.

"You did your best," Agni smiled encouragingly. It was an odd look on him, since he looked a lot like Khun, and Khun wouldn't have smiled like that. At least never at him. "But there is still a lot to work on with those blind spots."

Shibisu knew. But he wasn't built for agility, especially with his low shinsu tolerance. Each time they ascended another floor, it took him some time to get used to moving quickly again.

"I have something for you." Agni pulled him out of his thoughts. He opened his palm. "Give me your hand."

Shibisu complied and mirrored Agni's example. In return, Agni placed something in his palm.

"What is this?"

"It's special fish food. Hold it like this and just relax, ok?" Agni instructed as he repositioned Shibisu's arm so it was fully outstretched, palm flat.

Before Shibisu could ask, Agni had called one of his hidden lighthouses. He whistled and a fish swam out from it. It was about an arm’s length and very fast. Its color was also quite muted; he would have missed it had he not been paying attention.

"This is Auri." Agni introduced as the fish swam around him and preened under his touch. "She's a domesticated electric eel, capable of stunning D-ranks and killing E-ranks. Her species is loyal and territorial, but they can be very timid otherwise. I want you to take care of her one day."

"What?!" Shibisu whisper-shouted through gritted teeth, afraid that he would startle the fish. "Didn't you just say that she's dangerous?"

"She can protect you." Agni pried his fist open and led him to stretch his arm out again. "Just give her this and she'll know that you're a friend."

Shibisu held his breath when the fish swam close, trying his best to not flinch or take another step back when it opened its jaw, displaying rows of needle sharp teeth that could definitely shred his flesh. Yet his fear never happened, and the fish was surprisingly docile when it nibbled on the pellet.

Despite his initial fear, he could see its appeal. It was affectionate and gentle. Granted, he always had a soft spot for cute things, even if they might be dangerous. Case in point: his team.

Shibisu tried to move his arm a little, since he was no longer as tense, but the sudden move startled the fish, and it suddenly vanished into thin air. Shibisu looked around and found nothing.

Noticing his confusion, Agni explained, "As I said, her species is very timid. They have the ability to conceal themselves with shinsu, so they can be hard to detect without observers."

The fish reappeared behind Agni, swimming near his shoulders, "Ah, there you are." Agni flicked his fingers and pointed to the lighthouse; the fish obediently swam back inside. "I will bring her again the next time we meet, so she can get used to this team."

Shibisu could only nod, knowing that refusal wasn't an option.

Agni walked away and clapped his hands to get the whole team's attention, "That's a wrap for today. A shame no one won my bet, but I hope you learnt something from this."

Endorsi clicked her tongue, "Show off."

Agni ignored her entirely, but his stance was never unguarded, ready to leap in case of sudden attack. Was every Khun raised like that?

"Hm, one more thing…" Agni walked up to Rak. "Crocodile, come with me for a moment."

Masterlist

Let me know your thoughts in the reblogs <3

☕ Buy me coffee ☕

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hungarianbee · 4 years ago

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Way of the Witcher: bits of lore

Disclaimer: Post contains spoilers to the Witcher games These things may be canon-typical, but the following trigger warnings apply if you want to check out the cards: gore, monster dismemberment, needles, body horror, insects and spiders

“In a world plagued by horrors and monstrosities humanity desperately needed a new type of weapon to turn back the tide. Created by ingenious Alzur, witchers — professional monster slayers of exceptional strength, speed, and agility were tasked to end the threat once and for all. Organized into different schools they honed their craft and passed their knowledge onto novices in training. Some of them were destined to become the legendary heroes and protectors of humanity. Others — the very thing they were supposed to fight…”

Since the gwent expansion was anounced I followed it with rapt attention; every bit of lore is a gem in my eyes. I decided to write down my thoughts of the cards and lore pieces revealed in a post. Share that knowledge around, amirite?

The post references Gwent cards which were leaked (2020 november-december). The theme is mutation and everything that comes with it; namely sweet-sweet lore of the lesser known witcher schools: the Bears, Cats, Vipers and Griffins.

Tucker in, under the cut there is 4.5k analysis of each card that came out.

We’re starting with a theme, then work our way throught the 4 schools (each contain the following: a leader, a mentor, an adept, a general witcher, a specific job, an item, a school relevant monster, 2 known witchers and a location), then go through a Witcher 1 throwback, Salamandra, and round it with a few new monsters and neutral cards.

While I describe most of the cards concisely and all the known witchers and locations are on my blog, you might want to look the cards in their (small) glory: [DO IT HERE]

Sounds good? Here we go!

Edit: [this source is better]

The theme is mutation - be it monsters created by transmutation, witchers or salamadra

If that is true, there are monster cards that seemingly stand out: the Succubus and the Phooca

If we are to believe that they do connect to the mutation theme, then

(1) we can conclude that Phoocas (a rare, and more dangerous form of Nekkers; they can pull your head off by sheer force, watch out) are a natural mutation of the original species,

(2) but we’re still left with the Succubi (an inherently demonic creature). They might have chosen it because of its appearance: succubi have horns and goat-like legs. (Note: in the graphic novel “House of Glass” the succubus character has wings, but lacks hooves. In that sense, she could be mutated.)

Breaking it down into factions/schools (some of the cards can be paired up; these cards are interpreted together):

School of the Viper: starting with the vipers, because they are my favourite

Viper Witcher Mentor & Viper Witcher Adept: the flavour text says that the Viper mentors are exceptionally cold and ruthless, and that’s underlined by the story the art tells: the mentor busies himself with sharpening a blade, and in the background we can see the adept attempting to kill his best friend goat, as was ordered. The mentor watches this from the corner of his eye. Young Vipers are to kill their pets (which they nurtured for years) before becoming a fully-fledged witcher. The latter could mean that the boy depicted on the card hasn’t even gone through the Trial of Grasses.

Viper Witcher: On the card we see an unknown Viper crouching over a royalty he killed. I feel like this type of card is meant to represent what we think a general Witcher of said school would be like. Apparently Vipers just like to slay the nobility *shrug*. The flavour text informs us, that Vipers call their two swords “fangs”, and that their style consists of fast and furious attack aimed to overwhelm the enemy.

Viper Witcher Alchemist: Every school has a specialty; Vipers are proficient in potion or poison making. The right side of the alchemist’s face seems to have healed burn marks; a blown up concoction might have caused it.

Ivar Evil-Eye: So far there’s little to know about Ivar. He was either the Master of the Viper Keep, or the founder himself (gwent suggests the latter). He’s described as heavily scarred (facial scars suggests burns and slash marks too), and each of them has a terrible story to tell.

Warritt the All-Seeing: Warritt is a (newly introduced) Viper with heavy disfiguration to the upper part of his face: his eyes are sealed shut (possibly by burn marks, though his hair remains intact). The art shows Warritt drawing a modified version of the Supirre sign in the air to help with his loss of sight. As the wiki says: “Supirre is a Sign used for eavesdropping. Drawn on a solid surface, it allows the people near this surface to listen nearby conversations which would be normally inaudible due to the distance or background noise.” It was only used in Sapkowsky’s second volume of the Hussite trilogy (not yet translated to English), which is entirely separate from the Witcher novels.

Kolgrim: Fate laughed at this Viper. As a kid he was swapped by a weeper, saved by a witcher, than rejected by his own mother who believed that the fake child was the real one. Later, as a grown witcher Ivar instructed him to find a lost weapon diagram. On his journey he was accused - ironically - in White Orchard of kidnapping a child. Invoking a Temerian law, Kolgrim was told to cleanse their crypt (as seen on the card) then he can go. The truth is revealed in Witcher 3 - Kolgrim was beheaded by the villagers before he could even step into the crypt. To add insult to injury: the child was eaten by a drowner. The gwent card therefore shows the optimistic outcome: that Kolgrim reached the crypt and passed in battle. And what’s up with a crypt full of wraiths anyway? White Orchard is shady, guys. (Lil’ trivia: Kolgrim’s eyes are yellow-green.)

Vypper: Basically an overgrown snake that likes damp marshes (they even fight the local kikimores for territory). They only relate to the mutation theme by their nature - they resemble the “school’s animal”.

Gorthur Gvaed: The Bloodgate Keep is located in the chasms of the Tir Tochair mountains. It’s built so high were you to look down from the bridge leading into the keep, you would only see fog (one could wonder how the vipers trained in these conditions). The bridge is made so that you’d have to cross the lookout tower - it might have served as a check in spot. The post itself is circled by the stone coils of a snake; the top is open and has a huge lit bonfire in the middle for warmth-keeping and possibly signaling. Unluckily, it didn’t stop the Usurper’s army from destroying the keep.

Coated Weapons: They leaned heavily into the alchemy and assassin side of the school. Vipers coat their blades with an acidic liquid, so they can kill a man with a nick of it.

School of the Cat:

Cat Witcher Mentor & Cat Witcher Adept: On the adept card we can see a young Cat walking the tightrope blindfolded (they start with close to the ground and slowly increase the distance with time); the mentor is looking up at him. Like the Vipers, Cat mentors are nonchalant about risking the kids as seen from the flavour text: “If you fall, it’s over. Your nine lives are up, kid.” Furthermore, the background of the Cat Witcher Adept card shows the not yet destroyed Stygga Citadel. The Cat Witcher Mentor is in the same scene and we can see lots of potatoes and cabbages; cats definitely eat their veggies.

Cat Witcher: The card shows a Cat in the heat of battle mid-jump; his hood is up, blood is flying everywhere. The flavour text emphasizes that cats are known for their mad bloodlust, not stopping killing even after the enemy capitulated.

Cat Witcher Saboteur: A Cat perches next to the window, a smoking bomb in hand, eavesdropping on nobles. A rope is hung from somewhere out of the pic, possibly for a quick exit. Vesemir comments that these are many-a deeds the cats did that taint the reputation of witchers.

Gezras of Leyda: Gezras is a not yet known redheaded Cat witcher. Following the pattern he seems to be the founder of the Cat School. His flavour text shows that even back then (when the mutagens made Cats emotionless) they were inclined to dislike humans: “Take a contract from Aen Seidhe over a dh’oine any day, as you’re far less likely to receive a knife between the ribs in place of coin.”

Brehen: Now this cat embodies the Cat madness. He’s known as the Cat of Iello because he massacred everyone there. He was consequently shunned by all the schools, and he was even convinced that Vesemir put a kill order on his head. He met Geralt later in the 1240s on his way to claim the bounty for the princess. Thinking that Geralt was there to rob him of his chance of the bounty, Brehen took a priestess as hostage (this is what we see on the gwent card). Geralt managed to convince him to put away the blade, and they parted without crossing blades. When meeting with the striga he scoffed into her face that “she won’t be his first royal”. But his luck ran out. The Temerians buried him and fabricated the story of a cowardly witcher stealing their coin. I’m halfway convinced we see Brehen in the netflix series.

Gaetan: This boy broke into the fandom like a bulldozer. After the folks in Honorton cheated him of his pay and tried to kill him, Gaetan flew into rage and killed everyone there except Millie, a girl who reminded him of his sister. That’s the scene we see on the card. And then Geralt robs/kills him.

Saber-Tooth Tiger (Stealth): Another huge animal/monster related to the school. It’s story is this: “The prized possession of royal menagerie, until a commando of Scoia’tael assaulted the exhibition, released the beast, and set it upon its cruel masters. Since that day, it has acquired a selective taste for human flesh.” Another cat turning against humans.

Stygga Castle: An outside view of what we already saw on the Cat Witcher Adept card. It’s located on a cliff, and the sun shines into it just right (so that the Cats can bask in the light). The walls form a circle where they shelter the inner grounds, and a bigger tower emerges in the middle. The Castle could be reached by the thin bridge connecting it to the mainland, or by the cliffs (if one is brave enough).

Making a Bomb: Cats seem to have a specialty in bombs. Guess where Lambert got his interest from *winkwink*

School of the Griffin: lots of pairs in this one

Griffin Witcher Mentor & Griffin Witcher Adept: Compared to the other schools, this pairing is tame - the adept is climbing a tree to retrieve a crossbow bolt. We can see the mentor in the background. On the mentor card the adept waves down with the retrieved crossbow bolt in hand. It shows a kind of comradeship that’s not present in the other 3 schools. The flavour text emphasizes the importance of knowledge. Students are afforded to choose their final Trial: recite the entire Liber Tenebrum (Book of Shadows; one of Keldar’s favourite books) or steal a griffin’s egg. Noone’s chosen the former.

Griffin Witcher: The witcher is shown shooting down a griffin. According to the flavour text they prefer hunting with silver-tipped arrowheads instead of swords.

Archgriffin & Griffin Witcher Ranger: On the Griffin Ranger card we see the witcher crouching over track marks. On the archgriffin card he found the albino (or very old) monster, who’s already killed someone (probably a lumberjack, judging by the axe). According to the flavour text, Griffin Witchers are trained to be professional trackers; nothing can stop them to reach their prey. Even though archgriffins are considered the embodiment of courage, loyalty and fighting spirit, the gwent card corrects the notion that the Griffin Witcher were named after the monster. In truth, they got the name in honour of their founder’s mentor, a knight named Gryphon.

Erland of Larvik: Continuing the trend, Erland is the founder of the Griffin School (one of the two that are confirmed 100%). He’s from the first generation of witcher, mutated by Alzur himself. After the Order began fracturing he had a confrontation with Arnaghan (who’ll be the founder of the bear school). Arnaghad almost killed one of his brothers, slashed Erland across the face then parted ways with the Order and left Morgraig Castle with his own group. Seeing that the the remaining witchers couldn’t go on like that, he grabbed his 13 best friend and left to Kaer Seren, where (after purging it from spectres) he founded the Griffin School which focused on magic, preparedness and flexibility. His teaching emphasized knightly values (mimicking his long-dead mentor, a knight named Gryphon) in hopes that it would make future witchers’ life easier. It didn’t.

Coen & Keldar: The cards are mainly connected by background. Coen is finished killing what appears to be an albino arachas (but it’s definitely an insectoid), while Keldar’s taking notes. We can rightly assume that he’s updating their bestiary, since he’s one of the teachers/mentors who focus on gathering and sharing knowledge. Coen’s flexibility shows in the flavour text: “There is no such thing as a fair fight. Every advantage and every opportunity that arises is used in combat.” Not very knightly, is it?

Kaer Seren: The “Star Keep” Erland and his friends fled to. It was used by the Order’s mages to mutate witchers (that’s why it was haunted by spectres). It’s located at the edge of the Dragon mountains by the sea between Poviss and Kovir. It’s said to possess the great library, which later mages tried to get for themselves. They messed up: by bringing down an avalanche on the Keep, that knowledge was destroyed. The keep was badly damaged and many witchers died.

Target Practice: The Griffin School’s specialty is their precise aim - they “can split an apple in two from a hundred paces”.

School of the Bear:

Bear Witcher Mentor & Bear Witcher Adept: The adept card shows that young witcher are taught to catch fish by hand (just like their school relevant animal). On the mentor card the elder witcher leads a group of younglings in the mountains; possibly out to teach tracking. The cards are connected by flavour text. The young Bear witcher-would-be’s need to complete the Trial of the Mountain, which consists of them climbing Mount Gorgon (also known as the Devil Mountain; it is the highest peak of the Amell range) to retrieve a runestone. The Trial often ends with the kids frozen to death. The Bear Mentor card’s flavour confirms it: “If you’re unsure of the way, just keep a lookout for markers - the frozen corpses of would-be witchers.” This sounds ominous - don’t they collect their fallen?

Bear Witcher: Bears are solitary hunters as seen in the flavour text: “life alone can be tough”. The witcher in the pic just dismembered what looks like a ghoul (with a tail?).

Bear Witcher Quartermaster: This one I like. The Quartermaster is an amputee (missing one of his arms, which was taken by a bear; must have won that fight one-handed), yet they still found a job for him where he can be useful. His flavour text suggest he likes Mahakam mead.

Arnaghad: The founder of the Bear School, he never felt kinship with his fellow witchers. After attacking a witcher named Rhys over a contract, wounding him deeply from shoulder to waist, he returned to Morgraig, attacked Erland then left with his possé to found the Bear School - Haern Caduch - in the Amell Mountains. Later he almost died in a betrayal, which resulted in another schism and the foundation of the Viper School.

Gerd: Gerd’s a legendary witcher who fled to Skellige after allying with a Usurper instead of his daughter, who later issued a warrant for his arrest. He has a busy time in Skellige: first slaying a dragon, befriending the Jarl Torgeir, killing a bunch of sirens, losing so many weapon diagrams you wouldn’t believe, losing half his pay and silver sword on gwent, escaping Nilfgaard and managing to slay a striga, killing some of his pursuers, only to be caught up in the siege of Torgeir’s castle, where he died in the ruins. On the card he’s showing Bear-typical strength: he’s tearing apart a siren with his bear hands.

Junod of Belhaven: Junod had a dubious background, but was thought to be the child of a brave dwarf and a giantess. He’s a huge man, with a big bushy beard and bald head. His sobriquet is false; he took it after Ivo, because he liked the ring of it. He was known as a strict haggler and a bit of a gambler. In 1243 he took a contract in hopes of cash (he wanted to forge the Grandmaster Ursine Armour). The subterranean monster was said to live in the caverns. Junod drew bear signs and wrote a warning on the wall (this is the scene we see on the card). He was however ill-prepared; the beast turned out to be a shaelmaar (a type of relic Gaetan slew once) that killed him in that very cavern.

Dire Bear: Once again related to the school in question, the Dire Bear is stuck with so much weaponry that it looks like a walking armory. Lots of witchers must have tried to slay it, yet it still kicks - just like Bear Witchers, it’s resilient till the very end.

Haern Caduch: Built into the side of the Amell Mountains, it’s the coldest environment of all the schools. As with the other schools, the Bears were forced out of it due to folk riots. It was left in disrepair to be buried under snow and ice (as seen on the card). It’s name could be translated as “Piercing Whiskers”.

Armor Up: As Bear’s are more likely to stand in the way of attack than dodge, they need to wear a heavy armour at all times.

Salamandra:

Roland Bleinheim & Gellert Bleinheim: Witcher 1 characters. They are thought to be brothers, leading the Salamandra organization. As drug lords one heads the fisstech operation in Vizima’s sewers (Roland), the other in the swamps (Gellert). The flavour text pretty much matches: both of them wondering what the other one is doing.

Salamandra Mage: The art itself was already leaked in China around 2 years back, and there were a few theories. One of them was that the man depicted is Zerrikanian, and I think that’s correct. Both the facial tattoo, darker skin, thinly braided hair and fire magic points in that direction. Azar Javed (a known Salamandra fire mage) happens to be a Zerrikanian escapee too.

Salamandra Lackey: A girl with the Salamandra-stapled mask runs from a city guard. The flavour text says the following: “Lackeys are expected to perform their first five jobs for no pay, demonstrating their passion for the gig.” The organization monitors from the beginning that only those remain who are extremely loyal to their cause.

Fallen Rayla: A little background for those who are unfamiliar with her: Rayla of Lyria was a veteran of the Nilgaardian Wars. She harbours anti-nonhuman sentiments after she was captured by Scoia’taels and severely maimed. The Rayla we see on the card is a mutant - in Witcher 1 she was supposedly shot down by Scoia’tael, and Salamandra found her close to death, subjected her to mutation. She was killed by Geralt.

Salamander: The card shows a bright blue spotted salamander. It has two tails and heads (possibly grown together?). The Salamander is a symbol of the organization. Metaphorically speaking it could mean, that Salamandra thought of itself as something untouchable: “best to avoid petting them, as the salamander, when threatened, secretes a deadly toxin”.

Failed Experiment: The card - ironically - thrives when it’s poisoned. The “experiment” only resembles a human in shape. It’s clutching the table ends, as if trying to escape still. It’s fair to assume that they later dissected it: “even failed experiments can serve a purpose”.

Salamandra Abomination: A step further from the failed experiment - we see the results of pushing science’s boundaries. Only the skull is left intact, everything else of the body is covered with insectoid-like growths.

Stolen Mutagens: Gruesome organ harvesting. The witcher heart (?) glows, which is either an artistic decision (probable) or the mages sent magic into the body, and the mutagens light up (like angiographia). Three types of mutagens can be harvested: red (strength), blue (magic) or green (resilience). I headcanon that the amount they inject of the three types can vary - that’s how you get strength inclined witchers like the wolves (red), or big ass mothers like the bears (green).

Salamandra Hideout: There are multiple hideouts in Witcher 1 (outskirt of Visima, crypt in sewers and one in the trade quarters). The one depicted here is the fisstech lab in the sewers. It shows a dimly lit, cobwebbed room. There’s an elevation where a body lays on the table. The elevation’s floor is gridded, so the blood and other fluids can freely flow down into the sewer water, where many bodies are already discarded recklessly.

Neutral:

Alzur & Viy & Koshchey: Alzur was a charismatic mage and spell inventor, who created many horrible monsters, like the koshchey (with the spell: Alzur’s Double Cross) and the Viy (a huge centipede-like insectoid). He was also the one who did the lion’s share of work with the witcher’s mutation.

Cosimo Malaspina: Cosimo was the teacher of Alzur. He was known for his knowledge in hybridization and genetic modification. Him and Alzur were the true creators of the witchers sect. On the gwent card, three man are shown prodding at a mutated body. Cosimo (the old dude) is in the middle, Alzur might be the one on the left and that leaves Idarran on the right. His flavour text paints him as cold and clinical, someone without empathy: “Children keep asking him for gifts. He doesn’t know why, but it really helps with finding subjects for his experiments.”

Idarran of Ulivo & Idr & Wererat: Idarran was one of the contributers of the witcher experiments. He’s an expert in hybridization and genetic modification, whose teacher was Alzur. He was a pale kid who lived in the canals of Vizima and experimented on rats at the age of 5. He found beauty in gruesome creations, like the Wererat (a human-sized rat on roids) and the Idr (a big centipede-like insectoid). He’s disdained by Geralt for his many monsters.

Triangle within a Triangle: It’s a magic spell used to introduce a series of mutations and to greatly increase the mass of a given body. That way they can create huge monstrosities, like the koshchey. Adepts often confuse it with a pentagram which can lead to infernal disasters.

Selective mutation: The card shows a close up of a young man’s eyes - one mutated (catlike) one human. His skin shows his high toxicity level, ashen with prominent veins. He’s held down as alchemists prepare to inject a yellow concoction into the human eye. It’s possible that after the success of witchers the mages tried to recreate the changes in smaller scale, then unmake it in turn, unsuccessfully.

Witcher Student: This is not really a card, but I included it anyway. The card’s ability is - ironically - doomed, and to add insult to injury, its flavour text is the following well-known fact: “Four out of ten boys survive… at most.” It’s also a point for black humour that the gwent commentators added: the Trial of Grasses card boosts this unit significantly.

Berengar: He’s a Wolf School Witcher who blamed his school for denying him a normal life and consequently abandoned them. In Witcher 1 Geralt can decide to kill or spare him. In a letter he admits that he was a coward because he betrayed Kaer Morhen and worked with Salamadra in hope that they can undo his mutation. His card references a questline in Witcher 1, where he tried to reason with the vodyanoi (~lovecraftian fish people) to spare the village’s prize-winning cow, named Strawberry. This is non-canon; in the game Geralt takes over the quest to do this instead.

Leo: Another Witcher 1 character. He was an orphan taken in by Vesemir. He was a kind-hearted but hot-headed man, who had all the training but not the mutations and the experience - he never killed a man. The flavour text of his gwent card kind of mocks his death: “He would have caught the arrow if he only had some heads-up.” He’s burned on a pyre and his cenotaph can be found south of Kaer Morhen.

Geralt: Quen: The last classical sign that wasn’t yet a card. In the art, Geralt is wearing the Manticore armour

Snowdrop: She’s a not yet seen character; impish looking female bard with light blond hair (flowers braided on the side) who plays a medieval version of the fiddle to a rooster. There’s a horseshoe hanging from the hem of his pants. She’s also seen in the gwent: journey #3 launch trailer. She’s narrating that she was saved by Alzur. Alzur told her about his plans of creating witchers to fight the beasts of the Continent, and she admired him so much she spread his story (”let me tell you about the greatest sorceress to ever lived”). Their story will unveil in the next week, I’ll probably update accordingly. It’s also interesting that Alzur says in the gwent intro (regarding witchers): “Bards will toil to do justice to their feats.” As if his own successes and experiences will be mirrored in his creations. Projecting much?

Monsters:

Viy & Idr: both of them are centipede-like insectoids conjured by infamous mages (see: Alzur and Idarran)

Wererat: same can be said about this one. Idarran experimented on Vizima’s sewer rats since the age of 5. This human sized abomination was the end result.

Succubus: We already discussed how the “Succubus” doesn’t fit the theme. Other interesting thing is the surrounding of her - in the background we can see a skull full of some kinda of dark liquid; she’s also holding a goblet. I’m not saying she’s drinking blood, but if she does, it would shed some questions as succubi don’t need to drink blood at all.

Phooca: As nekkers’ rare big brother, phoocas are ogroids that have the strength to rip a man’s head off with their bear hands. According to the wiki, in Celtic folklore they are regarded as shapeshifting fairies.

Koshchey: A witcher 1 boss, koshcheys are spider-like abominations summoned by mages. The woman standing her ground in the picture is Visenna (Geralt’s druid mom). In the story she’s the one to kill the first koshchey ever created.

Spontaneous Evolution: Under the Red Moon the wolf mutated into an amalgamation of eyes and teeth. Malaspina possibly added something to the mix that proved unstable. The card’s name is kind of ironic - this change is not spontaneous (it was induced) but could be related to evolution (it would imply that this form is somehow advantageous to the current environment and helps adaptation). (Note: in my opinion spontaneous generation would be a better term: it’s the thought that living creatures could arise from nonliving matter.)

Hybrid: the card shows a two-headed wolf or dog. Pretty straight-forward.

Chimera: A creature created my Cosimo Malaspina. He combines the genes of a fiend and griffin, then added a trace of insectoid and wyvern. It kind of looks like a furred wyvern with antlers. Interestingly the frightener (an insectoid; a rare result of magical experiment) is also called a chimera.

Dol Dhu Lokke: a new monster lair location. The depending on how you translate “lokke” the Elder can be read as “black valley place” or “alluring black valley”. It’s so dangerous - housing many-a horrors - that even a witcher thinks twice before going near it.

Interesting tidbits

Coen has hair, which is weird because so far he was described in all sources as bald.

There used to be a card that was also called Viper Witcher, which is now referred to as “Kingslayer”

The Bear Witcher’s face was drawn after one of CDPR’s employee.

The Koshchey’s card title has a typo: “Koschchey”.

Easter eggs (mainly in flavour text)

The Spontaneous Evolution card references The Powerpuff Girls intro: “Professor Malaspina accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction - compound X.”

The Bear Witcher card might reference a song of Baloo from the Jungle Book (The Bare Necessities): “Life alone on the road can be tough - be sure to bring all the bare necessities.”

#my shit #the witcher #gwent #witcher meta #witcher lore #i worked really hard on this #i hope it shows lol #if y'all have any thoughts i'd be happy to hear about them #cross my heart i don't bite

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battleofthegroundeddungeon · 5 years ago

Text

Two Locations (BOTGD2)

It was cramped inside the safe house. Even if the building had been roomier and populated by half the number of humans, it would have felt cramped. The very situation - of being forced to hide against his will - made the simple cottage walls feel like prison bars. It didn’t matter the front door was unlocked. Everything he wanted to do was locked from him.

Egil hadn’t slept well all week. He sat upright, leaning against the walls, adjusting and readjusting his position as he tried to get comfortable. Futile. He listened as one of his daughters shifted in her sleep. Even the building, creaking and groaning, stirred restless.

He stood and began to pace the room.

----

Many villages scattered the countryside. One, located at least a week’s ride away from the safe house town, looked fairly similar: small, unassuming, with nothing more than a few clumps of cottages and a single street of modest markets. But there were still enough women and men around for a tavern. Frankly, the lack of anything else to do but farm and weave made the tavern more necessary. Drinking boredom away was the town’s hottest recreation.

Moonlight led him up the road; lamplight invited him inside. About a dozen customers sat circled around the tables, reaching in for cards, meals, or pints. A short-skirted waitress wandered between them, forcing herself to smile as she handled inebriated complaints. A fiddler stood on a table near the back. The sawing melody was unrefined, but Egil recognized it all the same: a folk tune about a man who out-manipulated demons through a series of disguises.

He sought out the friendliest looking group and pulled up a chair uninvited. He plopped both elbows on the table, pulled out his most winsome crooked grin, and asked, “Mind dealing a hand for another player?”

----

Mera was snoring softly. So was Avara. Jonas was awake, outside, monitoring the neighborhood for suspicious signs. Jonas had taken more night watches than anyone else combined, it seemed. He really did seem wound up about this hiding business.

Well. Awake as he was, Egil could relieve his brother. He wasn’t sure Jonas had the ability to relax, but taking watch would also help Egil. He needed to do his part. He might not feel comfortable being king, but this simple duty was one he could handle. And the more he could prove to himself he deserved the crown, the less tedious these nights would feel.

----

Three golden coins landed crown-side up. The symbol of the king glinted on the table. Ironic, given as he’d run away two weeks ago to forsake kingly duties. And run away from running away, too.

Look, if he was going to leave the castle to save his skin, he’d do it on his own terms, his own way, not holed up because Stonegit said so.

Last he’d heard, Avara and the rest of his family had left for shelter anyway. Interesting they hadn’t gone looking for him. Though maybe they had, and he just hadn’t caught wind of it yet.

That had to be it. King though her son may be, Mera wouldn’t let Egil off the hook for this one. Someone was searching for him.

Heh. Let them try. Better here than whatever cramped quarters Stonegit had prepared. Here, at least, he could continue living a decent life.

The fiddler was playing loud as Egil set down the Jack of Diamonds and won his hand.

----

Egil found Jonas near the edge of town.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey,” his brother said in return.

He sat down next to Jonas. They stared at the full moon in silence.

“Pretty quiet night for a Tuesday, amirite?”

“Mm.”

It was hard to tell if Jonas’ response was an agreement or a disagreeing noise trying to get Egil to shut up.

They lingered in silence.

Egil tried again.

“Dad ran away too, huh? Way back in those days.”

“Also for duty,” Jonas pointed out. Egil could feel his brother opening up for discussion; this conversation was apparently more agreeable than the calendar comment. “Standing up for what he believed was right, fighting for the rights of his citizens, even though that meant leaving the castle and capital and what many of the higher ups believed proper of him.”

“This still feels different. Ya know. Dad went out to fight. We’re... we’re hiding.”

“The rebels also went into hiding sometimes.”

“I guess.”

Jonas looked over at his brother, the first eye contact he’d made all night. His light eyes glowed from something internal, not just the outside moonlight. He leaned in, and emphasized kindly, “You’re doing the right thing.”

“Yeah yeah yeah, I know.”

Egil sighed, feeling imprisoned, even though he’d left the building.

“I know.”

They fell into silence again, and this time, Egil didn’t try to reignite conversation. They let the night softly sigh as wind whisked through their hair.

Pretty quiet night for a Tuesday, indeed.

----

In the cramped tavern quarters, Egil had never felt more free. Drinks and money flowed, voices rose and fell, excited shouts sometimes drowned out the fiddle, and Egil had caught the pretty young waitress with a wink... and she’d smiled back. Once this card game was done, he’d be winning something else tonight.

Among the ruckus, he heard many things. Conversations of town gossip - “Ya hear? Melid’s pregnant again, and she ain’t been ’round her husband at least a year.” Conversations of the king - “Did you hear? King Egil fled the castle to go in hiding. Bet he’s locked up safe, wherever that is.” Conversations of everyday life - “I feel like the full moon’s keepin’ us all awake. This place is pretty busy.”

“Yeah! Pretty rowdy night for a Tuesday, am I right?”

#botgd2 #botgd 2 #:))))#feel free to rp and join either... location :)#if you feel so inspired #can be a standalone either whatever works #but feel more than free to continue shit #by all means please :)#Egil #yes deal with my insertion of non-Viking elements like cards #with Jacks

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teddystrap · 5 years ago

Audio

Drama CD: [幽幻ロマンチカ・真骨頂] ≁Karasutengu Hifumi・Baku Utashiro≁

Ok I know this is out of order (I skipped over the previous Hatenkou discs, which I will do later), but I reallllly adore the Shinkocchou concept. This came at the end of a HECTIC week, so to myself and any readers out there, I say a well-deserved: お疲（憑か）れ様でした！

In this disc - the first in this subtitle - Crow-Heavenly-Dog Hifumi and Dream-Eating Animal-Thing Utashiro team up to fight crime and save the Universe... of Nanagiri High School.

Before I say anything else, first look at the hidden msgs (x2) in the tracklist:

１．壱、都市伝説『すきま』２．弐、スイーツに囲<ま>れて３．参、湧き出た<も>のは４．四、陰<り>から立ちはだかる５．伍、穏やかな夜だっ<た> ６．六、戦うなら<い>っしょに７．七、都市伝説『すきま』看破８．キャストトーク

Hifumi: bold⋆ spells 「すきだから」 (’Because I like you...’)

Utashiro: <⋆> spells 「まもりたい」 (’...I want to protect you.’)

...

(ﾟ艸ﾟ(｡艸｡(ﾟ艸ﾟ(｡艸｡(ﾟ艸ﾟ(｡艸｡(ﾟ艸ﾟ(｡艸｡(ﾟ艸ﾟ(｡艸｡(ﾟ艸ﾟ(｡艸｡ ) ｽﾍﾟｼｬﾙｳﾝｳﾝ

We also find out bits about each character's past - like how Hifumi had been cold and uncaring when he first mixed with the human world, and how he developed a taste for sweet foods because that's what people used to give him as offerings. AND how hilariously angry U-kun gets when people try to point out that deep down he's really just a softie/sweetie.

NB. The audio track is a bonus bit at the end of the final cast commentary track where the two of them do a hilarious 'Free Talk' in character.

[The First Rumour: Urban Legend ‘Sukima’]

Something's lurking in the cracks and corners of Nanagiri High School. So far five students have disappeared, starting with a girl in 1st year. Everyone is freaking the fuck out, and even the police have got involved, but this being a paranormal case ofc they are not going to find anything.

On the orders of Toilet Flower Dude (abbreviated TFD), Hifumi and Utashiro are investigating the urban legends to prevent them from destabilising the forces of the Supernatural Seven. And they have come to you for help - after all, youkai get their powers from the goodwill of humans. TFD has even coined a team name for the three of you: DARK DESTINY FAN CLUB. And ofc you are the leader, because vagina power.

As part of the investigation, first you all go to... the nearby cafe and eat cake. Because Marie Antoinette said so. Because apparently a couple from your school was attacked when they went on a date there.

Hifumi decides that you have to act like a couple to bait the monster into attacking you. (Except this is more like a 3P scenario and for some reason nobody finds that just a little bit odd...?) The two of them start feeding you and wiping extra cream off your face, and ofc you become all shy and resistant. So then both of them possess your body and start putting their lips on you to 'make you understand how the cake feels'. #mfw = (*>艸<)ｷｬｧｯ. (Not even kidding, I actually made this face when I was listening to this.)

You finally cannot put up with this treatment anymore, and when they stop, you pick up a chair and start hurling it at them. Damn girl u so hot when u maddd. So much for Battle Plan RaiseBloodSugar1. XD

Plan #2: Ya'll patrol the empty classrooms after school to look for clues. Eventually you find a ...fluffy/slimy-looking... monster consuming a 1st-year boy. When the three of you approach, the monster devours him whole and disappears.

You suggest using yourself as bait, with the both of them possessing your body to fight the monster in invisible mode. Sounds all fine and dandy... except their demon powers totally don't even work against this mochi-mochi monster!! After some failed attacks, Utashiro forms a protective shield to fend off the monster and allow Hifumi to fly you off to safety. (Such beautiful teamwork I could cry...)

Later Utashiro catches up to the two of you. It seems that the monster is so 'impenetrable' because it is feeding off the energy of some human somewhere, whose vulnerabilities it is exploiting. At this point you are still reeling from the narrow escape, so your two manservants boyfriends manservants decide to call it a day and escort you home.

Back home, you refuse to sleep, so the two of them dogpile you on your bed (is it just me or does that sound kinda dirty, sports fans? ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)). You request that they both change into their chibi forms and hug them to sleep. Hifumi doesn't mind at all but Utashiro hates it!! XD

Turns out you can't sleep because you are still terrified from the episode earlier. So they change back into their hot-guy forms and possess your body (because your bed is too small XD) and hold your hand and caress your head. After you finally fall asleep, the two of them commence the BL action pillow talk:

Utashiro is feeling down and blaming himself for not noticing your fear sooner. Hifumi is all like ‘I KNEW U WERE A SOFTIE U SEXY TSUNDERE’, but Utashiro tells him that all the other baku perished because they were forgotten by humans, and this is why he can't forgive and embrace humanity the way that Hifumi does.

As Hifumi correctly figures out, Utashiro is/was the Chief of the baku, even though he was not the most powerful nor the eldest. But Hifumi thinks it's enough that Utashiro did his best for his companions, just like *you* always do, you useless piece of sh... person!! I mean person!!. Hifumi trusts you even though you are a human, but Utashiro is unconvinced, since you never risked your life for him (the way you did for Hifumi)...

...Aaaand you wake up to the kinako-mochi monster in your room!!! Hifumi flies both of you out the window, but it's too heavy for him and he and he drops you both. Orz (well U-kun cushions your fall ofc b/c what are manservants for, amirite?). Meanwhile the monster has followed you out here and multiplied, so you all escape to the school grounds.

In the school gym, the monster and its spawns appear again, and Hifumi tries to fight them off, maxing out his energy much to Utashiro's alarm. Hifumi explains to Utashiro that he was born out of people's wishes,... and just when he was about to be forgotten, *you* appeared and gave him a new meaning to life. So he can't help but be fond of humanity and want to do his best for them.

You stop Hifumi from over-exerting himself, and volunteer to be swallowed alive by the monster so that ya'll can fight it from inside its stomach. Hifumi is all like ‘LET'S DO THIS LEADER >:)’, but Utashiro FREAKS THE FUCK OUT X( and offers to come with you, forming a protective shield to protect you. At some point he finally admits that it would be 'troubling' if something happened to you... This is about as much of a love confession as you’re ever gonna get here, so I'm savouring the fuck out of this line indefinitely <3.

Inside the monster's belly, you find... a girl that was eaten, and pull her into the safety of Utashiro's protective shield. The monster grows weak, and Hifumi uses this opportunity to blow it up into smithereens. All its spawns become inactive as well.

The girl turns out to be the aforementioned 1st-year who was the monster's first victim. She appears to be asleep, so Utashiro takes a peek into her dream: she is infatuated with a senpai, but too shy to talk to him, and can only watch him from afar. The pain of her unrequited love bore cracks in her heart, which the kinako mochi monster has exploited and subsisted on.

You ask Utashiro to change the contents of her dream from #badend to #goodend. As he does this, the cracks in her heart start to mend, and the monsters disappear. But ofc, changing her dream doesn't do much irl; she still needs to make her own happy ending.

Thus, peace is restored to Nanagiri High School!! >:D The five missing students are all found safely and soundly asleep in the school gym, and the first girl finally found the courage to speak to her senpai.

Hifumi teases Utashiro for risking his own life to protect you during Battle Plan MonsterBelly1, but Utashiro claims he only 'changed his mind a little bit about humans'.

But then Hifumi readily admits that he got to see both cool and uncool sides of you during this adventure, and it makes him like you more <3. Upon hearing this, Utashiro is all like ‘GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER’ and instructs you to stick with him so that he shall protect you from the Crow-Dog-Whatever that is *even more dangerous than any urban legend ever*! <333333

[Thoughts] OH WOW I got so used to the DiaLovers twisted personalities that I figured this was going to be like a Versus disc where they compete and fight with each other over you. But like I said, the teamwork/bromance is so beautiful it brings a tear to my eye :').

First of all, as KENN observes in his part of the Free Talk, this disc is kind of a parallel world where you are not strictly *romantic* with either of them. But at the same time both of them seem ok with some 曖昧さ (e.g. light touches/kisses) here and there. I guess it's less like a FB "it's complicated" situation, and more of youkai having some harmless fun with a human.

[cf. Remember how all the vampires stripped Yui down to her undergarments and bit her in all the embarrassing places, and she STILL thinks: 'They only see me as food T_T.' Yes that's totally non-suggestive, yes yes, carry on.]

Secondly, like Kimura-san notes, the two personalities make a striking contrast, and Utashiro seems *even more* tsundere than usual compared to Hifumi. But because Hifumi has one more disc than Utashiro, I think he's had more opportunities for character growth, so I'm optimistic about U-kun :)

I think between the two of them, Utashiro is the more mature and sensitive one - as shown by their hidden msgs, Hifumi's feelings lean more towards 'I like you'/displays of affection, whereas Utashiro is more about protecting you & supporting you emotionally.

Hifumi has a more impulsive/careless personality; sometimes he misses little details, and he's ready to take risks if you are. In that regard I think they counterbalance each other quite well, Utashiro talks sense and 'anchors' the situation; Hifumi brings the positivity and the momentum.

Using the two roles of the manzai (traditional Japanese standup-comedy) for analogy, U-kun is the 'straight man' who provides the tsukkomi, and Hifumi is the boke or the one with all the gags.

...Also it just occurred to me how most of the time the tsundere role is either like a younger/spoiled brat type, or a kichiku megane (à la Sakamaki Reiji). Utashiro is kind of like a... tsundere-oniisan? XD Not sure if that's a type, but in any case it’s kinda refreshing, plus he's precious and I love him :3

NB1. KENN's chibi voice is THE BEST. X3

NB2. I wonder what trousers (「なっちゃうパンツ」) Kimura-san was wearing in the recording studio on his dates with 'Dummyko-chan' - which is what he calls the dummy-head mic XD. Now, I'm not sure about this, but there is a good chance that he's the one who came up with the worst nickname in the entire universe 'M-neko-chan'...

#otome #drama cd #rejet #yuugen romantica #shinkocchou #yuroma #hifumi #kenn #seiyuu #utashiro #kimura ryohei #youkai #tsundere #supernatural #mystery #kaidan

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glowstickhaloboy · 8 years ago

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these were taken two nights apart

#face #selfie #two sides of the same coin amirite

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malecsecretsanta · 7 years ago

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Merry Christmas, @thepinescentedair!

Because the world will never have enough coffee shop AUs, amirite?

Read on AO3

*****

But first, coffee

The morning rush is starting to die down and Alec can finally catch his breath. He’s made a dozen blended beverages in the last half hour alone, despite the frost on the widow, and Alec is glad for the chance to warm his hands in the sink. It’s too early for this.

The door chimes and Alec resigns himself to another three hours of his best customer service face. It's not something he's particularly good at, if he's entirely honest.

“Oh, hello,” the customer says. He’s unashamed in the way he eyes Alec up and down and Alec can’t deny he likes the way the man’s suit clings to his body. He’s not wearing a coat and his cheeks are a little rosy. “You’re not usually here in the mornings, are you?”

“Nope,” Alec says. He unlocks the register and waits patiently. “Order when you’re ready.”

“Succent,” the customer says. He quirks an eyebrow and grins at Alec, before handing over his own insulated mug. It’s at least twenty ounces, which is fairly regular, but there are cartoon cats printed all over the stainless steel. “Can I get an upside down coconut milk caramel macchiato to go?”

“If you want a cavity,” Alec says as he accepts the mug. He hears Jace laugh from the kitchen. He won’t tell on Alec for the way he talks to customers, not when he’s just as cheeky.

“I’d much rather get your name and number,” the customer says. His tone oozes confidence and his smile is almost infectious it’s so charming. If it wasn’t so early in the morning, Alec might even fall for it.

Instead, he taps the nametag on his shirt. “Name for your order?”

“Magnus,” he says. “Is Alec short for anything?”

“Alexander,” Jace calls helpfully. He pokes his head out into the main room and eyes Magnus. “You’re not going to flirt your way into free coffee with him, Magnus. And I’ll tell Will you’re hitting on his baristas again.”

“I never hit on Jem,” Magnus says, indignantly. “Just because I never flirt with you doesn’t mean I flirt with everyone else. Except for you of course, Alexander.” His fingers curl around Alec’s when he hands over a ten dollar bill in payment and Alec fights the urge to roll his eyes.

“This is why I don’t take the morning shift,” Alec tells Jace. “You’re too peppy this early in the morning.”

“The secret is not going to bed the night before,” Jace says earnestly.

“It’ll just be a minute for your drink,” Alec says to Magnus. He’s careful to avoid skin on skin contact when he drops the coins into Magnus’ palm, but theirs fingers brush as he counts back the bills. They don’t break eye contact as Magnus drops it all in the tip jar.

“Take all the time you need,” Magnus says with an over exaggerated wink.

ii.

Alec spends what feels like almost an eternity waiting on a gaggle of high school girls to decide what they want to order, though it probably takes closer to five minutes. It backs the line up to the door and Alec is tempted to kick them out of line until they’re ready to order when they all finally decide on variations of the same thing.

Jem is working the line, quiet and efficient, and Alec has never known him to mess up an order. His eyes roll when he sees the skinny lattes with extra whip and Alec knows exactly how he feels.

The bell chimes and Alec looks up to count how many more people joined the queue, but it’s just Magnus. Wearing skinny jeans and a dark flannel and seemingly immune to the fact that it’s below freezing outside. Not that Alec notices.

“Waking up or staying up?” Jem calls out to Magnus, when he finally makes it to the counter.

“Oh, you know me,” Magnus says. “Club closes at two, I’m not out of there until three, but for some reason most of society wants to start the day at seven…”

“Sounds like me during finals week,” Alec says, casually. Thankfully, it’s his last year of it, unless he decides to go to grad school. Which he probably will. Anything to avoid having to actually work with people in the long run.

“What are you studying?” Magnus asks.

“Business, mostly,” Alec says. Not entirely by choice, but he’s not the one footing the bills. “Though I’m taking this class on Colonialism that’s pretty interesting.”

“Sounds like it,” Magnus says, though he seems more amused than anything else. “If you give me your number, maybe I can help you study?”

“More like if I give you my number, I’ll get booty call notices at three in the morning when you get off work,” Alec says.

“Only if you’re open to it,” Magnus says. He offers Alec an insulated mug, with a glittery bee wearing a crown on it. “Sea salt caramel white mocha with coconut milk.”

“You literally just picked a punch of words off the menu,” Alec says. He takes the cup and punches in the order into the register, passing the ticket and the cup to Jem. “That’s going to taste awful.”

“I’ll let you taste it if you don’t mind swapping spit,” Magnus says.

“You’re officially extra,” Alec says. “I’m gonna have to charge you for that.”

“But you didn’t say no,” Magnus points out.

Alec hates himself a little for it, but Magnus technically does have a point. “I hope you enjoy your teeth rotting out.”

“I do so love coming in and see your beautiful face in the morning,” Magnus says.

“Then you will love what my face looks like when I’ve actually had more than three hours of sleep,” Alec says. Almost immediately, he regrets saying it, but then Magnus laughs and Alec really kind of likes the sound of that. “That wasn’t an invitation!”

“Haven’t even gone on a date and you’re already inviting me into your bed,” Magnus says and Alec actually feels his cheeks flush.

“Leave him alone, Magnus,” Jem says. “It’s hard to find competent help this early in the morning.”

“You’re no fun,” Magnus says, and Alec almost agrees.

iii.

The sun has long since gone down for the night and Alec is tidying up the sitting area as much as he can before they close shop. They’ll get one last rush in the next few minutes, but thankfully they won’t linger. Not on a Sunday evening.

The door chimes and Alec automatically calls out a greeting. It’s Magnus, because it always seems to be Magnus, and Alec’s heart races in his chest. He shouldn’t be this emotionally invested in a guy he barely knows, but Alec is starting to look forward to when Magnus comes by.

Tonight, he’s dressed for clubbing. His jeans are tight and his boots look expensive and Alec wants to tangle his fingers in Magnus’ artfully tousled hair. He’s got eyeliner on and Alec actually feels kind of weak in the knees. It’s a sign he needs a drink or to get laid or maybe both.

“Alexander,” Magnus says, pleased. “I was disappointed you weren’t in this morning.”

“I was just covering Will’s shifts these last few weeks,” Alec says. He’s technically Alec’s manager, though there is no real formality in the coffee shop. They’re all basically family anyway. “Jace thinks he’s faking his pneumonia.”

“Well, I suppose it’s good he’s feeling better,” Magnus says. He moves slowly, giving Alec every chance to back away from his advance, before touching his elbow. “I do hope you don’t think I’m coming on too strongly. I enjoy seeing you but I understand you are under a sense of obligation to be polite.”

“If I didn’t like the way you were treating me, you would know,” Alec says. “And Will doesn’t give a shit how we treat belligerent customers, as long as he doesn’t get sued in the long run.”

“I assume that’s mostly Jem’s influence on the shop,” Magnus says, and he’s probably not wrong. “Have you worked here long?”

“A few months. Mostly night shifts,” Alec says. He glances at the clock and steps away from Magnus to toss his dirty rag into the sink on the other side of the bar. “Jace and I were roommates in prep school. He told me his cousin was hiring, I didn’t think being a barista would be that bad. It’s not, for the most part.”

“Well, if you want to get out of the coffee scene, I can get you the hook up at my bar,” Magnus says.

“Your bar,” Alec deadpans. “As in you own it? Are you offering to be my sugar daddy?”

“I wouldn’t make you work if you were going to be my sugar baby,” Magnus says. “And yes. Pandemonium. You’ve probably heard of it. I’m actually on my way there now, if you want to join me.”

“My sister likes to dance there,” Alec says, nodding. He’s almost regretful that he’s going to have to turn Magnus down, but he still has another hour and a half on his shift. “What ridiculous drink can I get you tonight?”

Magnus taps his chin thoughtfully and Alec is distracted by the rings on his long fingers. He holds out a travel mug covered in gold glitter and says, “Creme brulee praline latte. Iced, with almond milk. That sounds fun.”

“That sounds like a sugar coma,” Alec corrects, but he takes Magnus’ cup and lets his fingers linger on Magnus’ own.

iv.

It’s a slow night and Jem doesn’t object to Alec spreading his textbook out on the counting counter and reading in between customers. It’s only a few weeks until the semester is over, and he doesn’t feel as prepared as he would like to be.

The door chimes and Alec looks up to see Tessa and Magnus laughing together. The rational part of his brain knows Tessa has a weird thing with both Jem and Will, but it doesn’t stop him from feeling a little jealous. He has no right to be jealous. He doesn’t even know if Magnus’ attentions are genuine or if he flirts with everyone he meets.

“Store is closed,” Will deadpans from where he’s reading in the corner. “We don’t sell coffee to traitors who go to weird art nouveau shows in Manhattan instead of staying home for leftover night.”

“Well, it’s a good thing I want a cup of tea then,” Tessa says. She sticks her tongue out and Will pouts at her. It’s like they’re in their own little world and Alec doesn’t mind.

“Ah, to be in love,” Magnus says. “Do you ever wonder what it would be like to spend so much time with a single person?”

“Maybe it’s easier when you’re poly,” Alec says. He holds his hand out for Magnus’ reusable cup, and he turns it over in his hand to read it. “World’s Best Cat Mom?”

“The world is heteronormative,” Magnus says with a shrug. “I’m not. Wanna see a picture? If you give me your number I can text it to you.”

Alec laughs and shakes his head. He unlocks the register and starts tapping at the screen. “What gross monstrosity do you want tonight?”

“Pumpkin spice latte with a pump of caramel and sea salt on top,” Magnus says, pulling out his wallet and searching for a card. “I need to get the taste of bad caviar off my tongue.”

“I’ve heard pineapple juice makes the taste less salty,” Alec says. He swipes Magnus’ black card and hands it back to him.

“Do you wanna test that theory? You can come out with me, I’ll get a Pina Colada, you can get a Hawaiian Stone Sour…” Magnus says.

“You would be into mixed drinks,” Alec says, shaking his head and laughing. He’s almost tempted, but he really needs to study. Besides, he’s still got time left on his shift tonight.

“Anyone who hates mixed drinks is lying to themselves,” Magnus says. “You enjoy your Whiskey on the Rocks and I’ll enjoy my Sex on the Beach.”

“If you’re drinking by yourself, is it Sex on the Beach, or masturbation?” Alec asks.

“Alexander,” Magnus says with mock indignation, “are you flirting with me?”

“I just want the tip,” Alec deadpans, and Magnus laughs. It’s a struggle to keep the grin off his face but he can’t stop the way his cheeks warm at the sound.

Holiday shopping season is in full swing and the shop is bursting with activity. The normal lulls are nonexistent with school being out for a few weeks and Alec is glad his last final was this morning because he feels dead on his feet. He would murder for a massage right now.

He’s traded places with Jace, working the line while Jace takes orders, and it gets him away from the yuppie moms who think shopping small will change their karma for the year. If he gets yelled at one more time for being out of peppermint syrup a week before Christmas, he might actually punch someone.

“Your boyfriend is here,” Jace says, and Alec snaps out of his reverie to see Magnus waving at him from the back of the line.

For once, Magnus is wearing a peacoat to keep the cold at bay and Alec wants nothing more than to wrap himself up in the warmth and disappear. Take me with you , he thinks, but his throat is too dry to form the words. It doesn’t occur to him to correct Jace.

“You look miserable, darling,” Magnus says when he makes his way to the counter. His drink is the weekend special - brown sugar caramel shortbread as a blended drink - and his cup says when you play for both teams you never lose in pink and purple and blue.

“I need a stiff drink,” Alec says. He fills Magnus’ cup to the brim with whip and adds extra caramel drizzle. “Lets just say, I’m ready to sleep until next semester.”

“Well, if you need a nightcap after you get off tonight…” There’s a double entendre hanging there and Alec is so tempted to take Magnus up on it. He feels like they’ve been playing this game for weeks and he doesn’t know how much longer they’ll go at it before Magnus gets bored.

“You tired of getting Blue Balls alone in your bar?” Alec asks. His tone is low, mindful of the teeneagers chattering a few feet away, and it makes it feel more intimate somehow. “You look like you enjoy some coconut rum every now and then.”

“Did you google mixed drinks just to flirt with me?” Magnus asks. “Because I’m very impressed if you did.”

“Alec,” Jace says. He’s got two more tickets he’s started on, but there’s still a customer waiting to order. He doesn’t sound pressed, not yet, but Alec knows Jace will nag him if he slacks off too much. Like Jace isn't the king of shirking duties himself.

Alec tugs a napkin out of the stack and jots his number down quickly before he all but shoves it into Magnus’ waiting palm. “If you’re lucky, I’ll get off by ten. I’m out of work at six though.”

For once, it’s Magnus’ turn to be caught off guard.

vi.

Magnus’ apartment is everything Alec expected it to be. Cultured and classy, random things on display but everything tucked away neatly. His cat greets them at the door, meowing loudly for attention before being silenced by a bowl of homemade cat food.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go to the club?” Magnus asks. His hand is warm on the small of Alec’s back as he guides him to the living room. There’s an amazing view from his window, Alec is sure, but he’s distracted by how close Magnus is. They’ve never really had the chance to be this close before.

“I’m not easy,” Alec says. He pushes Magnus back onto his couch and straddles his lap. He likes that Magnus is letting him set the pace, content to go and do whatever Alec wants. “Just, for the record. I like going to dinner and going out. Pizza. Movies. Coffee. I’m not good at it, but I like it.”

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind,” Magnus says. He rests his hands on Alec’s hips when Alec’s find his shoulders and their first kiss is every bit as sweet as he thought it would be. Magnus doesn’t taste anything like the ridiculous coffee drink he ordered earlier, but still just as addictive.

“I don’t put out on the first date,” Alec says, in between kisses. Magnus’ hair is every bit as soft as it looks and he likes the soft scrape of his stubble against Alec’s owns. Magnus' grip is surprisingly tight and Alec feels both weak and empowered. “But technically this isn’t a date?”

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” Magnus says. His lips catch Alec’s chin, the curve of his jaw, and his Adam’s Apple in a flurry of delicate kisses. He presses up against Alec as he drags him close and Alec thinks they both know exactly where this is going.

They don’t make it to the bedroom before they end up naked and tangled together. Magnus looks every bit as gorgeous as he does undressed as he does in his skinny jeans or form fitting suits and Alec wants to touch every bit of him. His biceps are surprisingly thick and his abs quiver under Alec’s desperate kisses.

Magnus comes on Alec’s tongue long before Alec is ready for it to be over. Alec comes all over Magnus’ fingers almost as soon as Magnus takes him in hand. It’s oddly perfect.

After, when they’re tangled in a blanket on the floor in front of the couch, Alec props his chin on Magnus’ chest and huffs at him. “Are you going to kick me out, or can we make it for a round two if we make it to the bedroom?”

Magnus’ fingers trace delicate patterns on the back of Alec’s neck and his laugh is beautiful. “If you feel like spending the night, I can recommend this great little coffee shop downtown.”

“Mmh,” Alec says. He closes his eyes and loses himself in Magnus’ gentle touches. “Americano, extra espresso. Black.”

“And you think my coffee taste is disgusting,” Magnus says. He kisses Alec’s sweaty hair before dropping his head back onto the carpet. He swats at Alec’s ass playfully and Alec laughs. “I think I can manage that.”

#thepinescentedair #malecsanta17 #*fic17 #*gifts17

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yeonchi · 5 years ago

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Doctor Who Series 12 Review Part 5/10: Fugitive of the Judoon

Air date: 26 January 2020

The Doctor Who fandom is in further meltdown this week as we deal with further bombshells on top of all the bombshells from the series up to this point.

My spoiler-free thought for this episode: “We’re gonna need David Tennant back at this point to explain what is going on.”

At this point, I have caught up with the last three episodes. Weekly posting of reviews will continue from next week. Spoilers continue after the break. Make sure you’ve watched the entire series up to the end of this episode before you continue on.

That big bombshell

Before the series started, we did get confirmation that the Judoon would be returning. That was a pretty good cover for this episode.

This week, we saw the debut of a new Doctor played by Jo Martin. Talk about representation, amirite? Look, in all honesty, I’m not too worried about this being an SJW red flag over this being something that could potentially rattle the status quo of Doctor Who. John Hurt as the War Doctor did do that, but eventually, we came to understand that it was because of three reasons - there was a discrepancy between the Eighth and Ninth Doctors in that there was no regeneration, Christopher Eccleston was unable to return for the 50th Anniversary and Steven Moffat wanted to explore what would happen if the Doctor used up all twelve regenerations.

On a side note, Jo Martin is pretty good as the Doctor. It should also be noted that she is the first black Doctor in the series (maybe not actually the Doctor depending on how this series turns out). What are the chances that this was done for fanservice because people were expecting a more radical choice for the Thirteenth Doctor (as if Jodie Whittaker being female and a feminist wasn’t radical enough)?

Personally, I’ve never been a fan of Chameleon Arch stories. I think that if you (forcibly) conceal yourself as a lesser species despite having superior powers, abilities and knowledge, then it demeans who you really are and makes you look like a bit of a coward. John Smith put it best in The Family of Blood when he was struggling over whether to open the fob watch and become the Doctor again as it meant that this John Smith wouldn’t exist anymore. In the end, he didn’t stand up and insist on staying John Smith, thus making him a coward either way.

So, upon becoming the Doctor again and learning that 13 is also the Doctor, Ruth (we’ll call her this from now on) surmises that the Doctor is from her future, yet the Doctor doesn’t remember being Ruth. Given the design of her TARDIS and her not recognising the sonic screwdriver, I’m surmising that Ruth is based on the classic series Doctors. Let’s take a look at three possible theories I’ve come up with.

Theory 1: Parallel universe/Alternate timeline

This seems to be the most popular and easy-to-explain theory among fans. It would certainly explain the Master’s reappearance and it doesn’t change the status quo too much. However, Chris Chibnall said that Ruth is “definitively the Doctor” (how that sentence even makes sense I don’t know) and that there is no parallel universe involved, which could potentially jeopardise everything.

The Doctor Who Wiki documents many incarnations and alternate versions (including non-canonical versions) of the Doctor other than those we have seen onscreen. However, the fact that Ruth might come from a parallel universe would be too simple unless it’s part of a bigger thing in the story arc. I’m foreseeing a Dimensional Merge thing going on.

(If Peter Cushing actually ends up being acknowledged as canon or an incarnation of the Doctor onscreen, then I’m going to be pissed)

Theory 2: The Valeyard

The Valeyard, a villain from the Sixth Doctor’s Trial of a Time Lord series, was seemingly forgotten until it was mentioned twice in the Moffat era, during The Name of the Doctor and Twice Upon a Time. The Valeyard is apparently an amalgamation of the Doctor’s darker sides from between his twelfth and final incarnations - in terms of the Doctor’s first set of regenerations, it would technically be between the Tenth (post-Journey’s End) and Eleventh Doctors. However, now with the Doctor’s new regeneration cycle, people seemingly like to stretch it out to after the Twelfth Doctor’s era, so anything goes at this point. It would explain Ruth’s darker side during the confrontations with the Judoon and her willingness to bear arms when the Doctor opposed it.

Theory 3: Pre-Hartnell Doctor

This would be the most dangerous theory because it would drastically change the status quo of Doctor Who. During the Moffat era, the show seemed to reinforce the fact that all and only all of the Doctor’s incarnations up to that point were the Doctor. The child we saw in Listen was basically the First Doctor.

The details of the Doctor’s birth and upbringing are very conflicting because different Doctor Who-related media seems to have their own interpretation of it. The 1997 Virgin New Adventures book Lungbarrow details how The Other, one of the original founders of Time Lord society alongside Rassilon and Omega, would reincarnate himself into the loomed Doctor. I don’t like the idea of the Looms, though, so things might be questionable for me if they are canonised. Chris Chibnall has said in an interview around the start of Series 11 that he had not been able to find a copy of Lungbarrow, but chances are that whatever happens will be even more complicated than whatever I’ve theorised.

The return of Captain Jack Harkness

This was another surprise in this episode. As such, this makes Jack the first companion from the revived era, or more specifically, the RTD era, to reappear in the series. Sadly, the return of Jack Harkness may have been fanservice as well as Chibnall also said that he won’t be appearing again in Series 12. If you’re going to have fanservice in order to advance the story, then the fanservice should be more involved in it, like Rose Tyler in Series 4. With the announcement that the Cybermen would return in the Series 12 finale, I would have expected Jack to return then.

So what did Jack warn Graham, Ryan and Yaz about? He had them tell the Doctor to “beware the Lone Cyberman” and not to give it what it wants. He also mentions that an “alliance” sent something back through time and that somehow because of it, the Cyberman empire is in ruins. What this and/or Ruth have to do with the Timeless Child we have no idea yet, but I’ll be sure to keep watching.

Other general thoughts

Since the term was coined in the 2017 Free Comic Book Day comic The Promise, the fob watch portion of the Chameleon Arch has been known as the biodata module. The fire alarm in the lighthouse acted as Ruth’s biodata module; having it in a stationary location does make it harder for it to be noticed, particularly if perception filters are involved.

In the next time trailer for this episode, I thought that Ruth was Grace. And people say all Asians look the same.

Why didn’t the Doctor ask more questions to Ruth if she was confused at whether she was her or not?

Ruth gives the Doctor five points for guessing how she disguised herself on Earth. We haven’t seen the points system for a while now. For those of you keeping track at home, Yaz is on 10 points (S11E5), Ryan has a gold star, which I presume to be 10 points (S11E6) and the Doctor is on 5 points. Way to underestimate.

Following this episode, the next two episodes are also co-written by Chris Chibnall. Whether they will have more details to build onto the story arc is unknown yet.

Summary and verdict

No tokusatsu references in this episode. There was a big SJW red flag, but that was overshadowed by the story arc. Regardless, Ruth and Jack served as mere fanservice to advance the story and I expect to see them again soon.

Once again, I’ve finally caught up on the episodes now, so we will be returning to the normal posting schedule next week. I didn’t complete all the reviews for the last three episodes all in a day - my mind gets tired whenever I’ve done something big.

Rating: 8/10

Mid-series review

Compared to the same period in Series 11, the first half of Series 12 was definitely more dramatic than Series 11. We had a two-parter reintroducing the Master, a story about climate change and an Edison vs. Tesla episode. I thought there weren’t going to be a lot of SJW red flags, but Episode 3 alone proved me wrong. Still, the SJW agenda is less of a problem for me this year than it was last year (though I’m still going to be cautious).

Here are my ratings for the series so far:

Episode 1: 8/10

Episode 2: 8/10

Episode 3: 5/10

Episode 4: 9/10

Episode 5: 8/10

Mid-series total: 38/50 (76%)

Compared to the mid-Series 11 total of 70%, this is probably the better series for me so far. I think the returning characters and story arc really helped.

Stay tuned next week as I review the sixth episode, Praxeus.

#doctor who #doctor who series 12 #thirteenth doctor #doctor who series 12 review #thirteenth doctor review

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