#two pretty best friends who intimate everyone else around them just by being beautiful & socially unadjustable

[mrmeepsmadmind]

who here likes miracliff .. cliffrage ? lol

cliffmirage ???? idk.. (1 other lil freak raises their freak paw, & it's just my reflection in a mirror )

my cliffjumper has a very deep, guttural, Here's How It Is / monotone voice that surprises people with its baritone & only gets deeper & angrier when he yells, if u get the quote reference im working on, feel free to read it exactly as the source sounds

[workofheart]

jean kirstein relationship hcs

sorry for the inactivity lately y’all school is whooping my ass </3 in the mean time, have some modern jean relationship hcs bc i miss him

protective boyfriend #1 ♡ ♡ ♡ will not hesitate to yell at ppl if they’re mean or rude to you, he doesn’t want anyone coming near you like that. thinks his partner deserves the absolute best and will not tolerate people disrespecting you or even thinking of disrespecting you. he will defend you til the day he dies, even if it embarrasses you

asks the waiter for a new dinner when yours is undercooked and you’re too nervous to say something. if you’re a person w social anxiety or just don’t feel like doing something, he would do things for you no problem, whether its fetching you something, paying for you, ordering for you, etc. he’s not gonna tease you or make fun of you, he’s just happy to help

he’s a sappy drunk :’) when he’s hammered, he gets all clingy and drags you onto the couch to cuddle w you/hangs off of you while you walk home and tells you all about how he feels about you and how he wants to spend his life with you and have dogs and a cute home forever. has the cutest little giggle while literally pouring out his feelings for you 

and if you bring it up in the morning, you KNOW he’s gonna get so shy and red like “oh... i said that? haha...”

his biggest dream is just domesticity with you - like i mentioned, living somewhere beautiful in a nice house with a beautiful family or just you and him :( he really cherishes you and just dreams about spending his life with you. his “happy place” is very likely just the two of you sitting in a field by a river on a sunny day, maybe with some sandwiches and sparkling water, with all the time in the world watching ducks swim by

i imagine that you were previously friends before starting to date, but he’d been seriously pining for you since the beginning, just never wanted to make you uncomfortable and was too scared to say anything. he’d go home after hanging out w you and just sigh (probably yell into his pillow in frustration too but shh) bc he just felt like if it wasn’t you, then who else?

meanwhile you’re being so obvious that you like him back but he keeps reasoning that you’re just being nice and wouldn’t actually want him like that 

was ready to settle for friendship and just lock away his feelings when you just pulled him aside and confessed directly. he was a strangely confused yet happy daze for the following weeks

is a sucker for romance movies - likes imagining him and you in those scenarios, romanticizes your own relationship shamelessly. i feel like he’d enjoy 500 days of summer and... wait for it... clueless. I KNOW. it’s his guilty pleasure. also consider: he bawled his eyes out at the end of la la land.

loves beach dates! loves the beach, loves the boardwalk, loves everything about that summer atmosphere. waits in line to get you funnel cake and then you sit and eat, people watching and making up stories for everyone that passes by and just laughing while you enjoy the fresh summer air. in the arcades, totally the type to win himself a cute plushie but when ur like “omg!! is that for me?” he goes oh yeah haha.. but don’t think he doesn’t notice when you’ve been eyeing up a specific toy at the ring toss stand. he will not hesitate to play game after game until he gets it for you. 

lover of back hugs. he is so generous, literally towers over you no matter ur height, just wraps his arms around u and holds u <3 it makes you feel so safe and loved and that’s all he wants for you 

carries you wherever possible. up the stairs, down the stairs, from the kitchen to the living room and back. he always boasts about how easy it is to pick you up bc he’s strong and it boosts his confidence lol

constantly tells you how pretty he thinks you are. jean always thinks you look beautiful so he always compliments your outfits and your hair and your makeup, leans into ur ear to whisper it to u and make u giggle even when it’s just the two of you at home

on that note: always gets caught staring at you and he blushes so easily when you call him out for it. can’t stop looking at you over the top of his newspaper when you’re having breakfast in the morning, can’t stop looking at you while you’re making dinner for him, can’t stop looking at you while you work or study

for valentines/your birthday/holidays he always makes you cute handmade cards out of colored construction paper. he finds a new design every single time and spends so long on it, and finishes by writing out how he feels on the inside. can u just imagine him sitting at his desk, tongue poking out of his mouth with a glue stick in hand as he lays down different colored paper hearts :( 

teases you nonstop. always poking fun at you, probably make jokes about how “irresistible” he is and how you can’t keep away lol, thinks you look adorable when you’re flustered

u give him haircuts when it’s getting long, he sits on a stool in ur bathroom and u just give him a trim every once in a while. trusts you not to fuck it up (not that you ever would) and it always comes out so nice and it makes his heart swell just to have you there to do such intimate, sort of domestic things for him.

pet names! i know so many people have talked about this but it’s just so true. has tried everything in the book to see what you like, watches carefully to see how you respond so he knows, occasionally calls you something silly like “pookie” just to get a reaction out of you

needs verbal communication. jean always has so much on his plate and has a lot of insecurities, so he really needs that reassurance that you need him and love him every day until he can accept it for himself

favorite position to sleep in is him on his back with your head on that area between his neck and shoulder, holds you really close during the night. loves loves loves when you nestle into him and cling to him for warmth when you’re asleep. has trouble sleeping if you aren’t there

dotes on you so much seriously he is so sweet and caring, just so whipped for you. he is literally so weak and always gives into you just bc it makes you happy. you want to drive out for mcdonald’s at two in the morning for an apple pie and a shake? he’s getting his keys rn

nsfw below the cut (18+)

i think mostly everyone is in agreement that jean is a total pleasure dom - he spends all night getting you to cum again and again, always asking if you can give him one more

as mentioned earlier, teases. avoids giving you what you want at first, makes you use your words, and when when you do get it, you’re getting it. aka, overstim galore. he’s not stopping until you’re spent

so much dirty talk, asks so many questions to get you to talk. “louder for me, princess” type of guy. wants to reduce you to babbling with how good he makes you feel - the sounds you make get him so incredibly hard

he is also vocal bc he knows you like it. groans his name into your ear just to feel you clench, then laughs.

never forgets to mark you up, leaves hickeys all over your neck and chest and thighs. loves to look at them later on when you’re changing, and especially loves your reaction to seeing them for yourself

size kink!! this man is almost 6’3 so chances are he’s gonna be bigger than you regardless. likes being close to you, likes being in positions where he can see you, probably has an arm slung around your waist or back whenever the position allows for it so he can hold you close

pins your arms down, holds your hips to the bed so you just have to sink into the mattress and take it

every time he aims to fuck your brains out and make sure the only thing you’re thinking about is him and how good he makes you feel

his fingers are fucking magical, dear lord, he gets you so worked up and knows just how to touch you to make you squirm, loves seeing you go hazy and unravel on his fingers. his fingers are so long and gentle and stretch you out so nice + he knows exactly what to do, where to touch you, when to change his motions to get you there in minutes

needs to be kissing you when he makes you cum. swallows your moans, adores how you struggle to kiss him back with the pleasure he’s giving you

mirror sex is top tier for him, probably has one of those siding door closets w mirrors next to his bed so he can make you look at yourself and watch just what he’s doing to you

eye contact, will 100% grab your jaw to make you look at him, loves seeing you stare up at him through glassy eyes

literal KING of aftercare. takes such good care of you, gets you anything and everything you need, cleans up so well, gives you the world and more

[jayeray-twst]

How He Shows You Affection: Cater Diamond

Warnings: None all fluff!

He Takes Pictures of You

“Say strawberry!” Cater ordered with a toothy grin, as he snagged you around the waist and pulled you close, pressing your cheeks together with his arm extended out, holding his phone.

Several months of dating meant you were now quick enough on the draw to smile at the camera for the first snap of the shutter and were even quicker to turn your face to the side, pressing an affectionate kiss to your boyfriend’s cheek before he managed to hit the button again.

“Babe!” he whined a playful lilt to his voice that probably would’ve fooled most, but you saw right through it to the faint blush on his cheeks and the warm look in his eyes.

Cater always got a little flustered when you did little things like that to catch him off guard, which was only fair in your opinion considering how much he did it to you. Your boyfriend had enjoyed flustering you, and gone out of his way to tease, and flirt just to see if he could.

“Let me see?” you asked, making grabby hands at his phone. He immediately passed it over without complaint, pulling you into his arms and resting his chin on your shoulder so he could see the screen too as you looked at the photos he’d taken.

The first was pretty cute, with wide beaming smiles on both your faces, but the second one definitely stole the show. As per usual, even when caught off guard Cater managed to take the picture at the perfect moment, just as your lips brushed his cheek. His eyes were wide with surprise and there was the beginnings of a blush on his cheeks.

“Cute,” you cooed, pleased with the way it had come out, “You going to post that on MagiCam?”

“You know me so well,” he teased, giving you an affectionate squeeze around the middle before accepting his phone back, “We really take the best pictures together babe!”

“If you say so,” you told him lightly.

“I do say so!” he informed you, one hand still holding you to him as his clever fingers tapped away at the screen of his phone one handed, “You’re so photogenic it should be against the rules!”

You huffed in affectionate amusement. Honestly you were pretty sure the only reason you came out looking half so good in all the photos Cater took of the two of you was because he had an eye for it. Cater’s ability with a camera was exemplary, enough to put professionals to shame in your own opinion and frankly you were more than a little flattered that his favorite subject seemed to be you.

His timeline on MagiCam was full to the bursting of pictures of you, doing everything and anything under the sun, almost all of them candid or taken with only a split second’s notice and yet somehow you looked good in all of them. Not only that, but all the pictures were tagged with flattering words about how amazing you looked and how blessed he was to have you and to be your boyfriend.

Looking at it never failed to make you feel warm inside. MagiCam was a huge part of Cater’s life, and when it came to his content you were front and center. It was like his entire timeline was a testament, his own unspoken way of showing his devotion to you more eloquent than any words could ever be. After all if a picture was worth a thousand words than Cater had written entire epochs on how much he adored you.

“Alright all uploaded!” he cheered, pulling you from your fond thoughts and twirling you around in his arms with a bright laugh, “Now that, that’s done we should probably go check up on the A-Deuce combo. They’re supposed to be painting the roses, but knowing the two of them…”

You laughed in agreement and let him drag you off to go check on Heartslabyul’s two most troublesome first years, feeling immensely fond of your boyfriend.

Later when you were scrolling through your own social media you weren’t surprised to find the picture of the two of you from earlier beaming smiles at the camera, tagged with mushy cute things like #loveofmylife, #smilebabe, #aren’twecute?. However the picture of you kissing his cheek was missing.

You fully intended to ask him about it the next day, right up until you caught sight of his phone again. The picture was there both in his background and as his lock screen staring you in the face. You honestly couldn’t do anything in the face of that besides melt and give your sweet boyfriend an affectionate kiss, feeling completely and utterly adored.

He Tells You (And Only You)

Cater was the kind of guy who flirted with everyone, so at times it could be hard to take his words seriously. Compliments like beautiful, wonderful, and precious were a dime a dozen, and not limited to just you either. His whole personality seemed to be exuberant, extroverted and friendly, the kind of guy who had friends everywhere because he had no trouble making friends. He felt almost unreal with how perfect he was.

There were times, especially at the beginning of your relationship that it had made you incredibly insecure. Cater was popular, both through MagiCam and just in general, and you had no idea why he’d want to be with you of all people when it seemed like he could have anyone he wanted. In the face of your worries his words almost felt insincere, shallow and hollow, as if he didn’t really mean them because he said them to everyone he met.

However, the longer you were with him the more you realized something incredibly important. Despite the compliments that fell from his lips at the drop of a hat Cater never, ever used the word love. Sure there was an implication of love, as he said things like “I adore this’ or ‘I’m wild about that’. He said ‘I’m captivated’ or ‘I’m infatuated’ or ‘I’m enthralled’ but never ever ‘I’m in love.’

It was like the words were anathema to him, almost as if he couldn’t bring himself to say it at all. It was then you realized, slowly but surely that a lot of the face he showed to the world was a carefully crafted mask. Just as you’d suspected no one could be quite that perfect, happy and friendly all the time.

Cater got frustrated, anxious and annoyed just as anyone else did, he was just much better at hiding it. There was also a pretty vicious side to him, one that could hurl lethal insults wrapped in so many honeyed words that only those who were looking for it or really paying attention to him noticed.

Funnily enough this actually made you relax. It humanized him, and made him seem more relatable rather than the near perfect being he’d seemed before. Once you realized how much he was hiding you carefully did your best be worthy of his trust, so he could have a safe place to rest. After all keeping up a cheerful mask at all times sounded utterly exhausting to you no matter how good he was at it.

Slowly but surely, he’d begun to let his walls down, coming to you when he had a rough day, sitting in silence with you, cuddling with you, enjoying quiet little moments that you once would’ve thought he’d hate. Instead Cater seemed to relish these stolen moments with you, and as you began to truly see each other for who you were rather than the face you both showed the world you finally got to hear it.

Love. A word he admitted he hadn’t quite believed in and so had never bothered to say. A word he felt was trite and meaningless because of how often it was said over every little thing. A word you’d managed to change his mind about, one that was special and intimate and meant only for the two of you.

“I love you,” you murmured to your boyfriend as the two of you lay cuddled together on his bed, curled up and quietly watching movies together on his laptop. It was something you didn’t say nearly as often these days, as you’d slowly adapted to Cater’s way of thinking that saying it about too many things cheapened the meaning in a lot of ways.

“I love you too,” he assured you, equally quiet, his normal exuberance set aside in placed of utmost sincerity, the words so real and rare on his tongue that you had no choice but to believe them.

He’d only ever said them to you, only ever planned to say them to you, a word that was meant for you and you alone, a little piece of his heart with your name stamped clearly in ownership. It was a privilege you savored and treated with the utmost care, it was the very least you could do to prove your own affections for your boyfriend who cared so very much.

He Makes Things For You

“How do I look?” you asked your boyfriend shyly as you emerged from the dressing room.

Normally trying on clothes with Cater was a lot of fun. Even if you didn’t enjoy shopping all that much Cater made it into an experience. He had an extremely good eye for what would look good on someone and what wouldn’t. and put a lot of interesting things together. He was also perceptive enough to know what would make you uncomfortable and what wouldn’t, and work within your comfort zone.

It made him the idea shopping partner, and lots of fun, especially since he was more than happy to try on anything you asked for him as well. Honestly it was a bit unfair just how good Cater looked in pretty much everything. There were a few times you’d purposefully tried to pick silly things and yet, whether it was sheer force of personality or because he was simply that handsome he always seemed to look good. Still it was fun to try, and the two of you always had a good time together, laughing and teasing joyfully, and you almost never left empty handed.

This however was different. Cater had always had an eye for fashion, and had occasionally dabbled in making his own clothing. However, he’d never really taken it all too seriously before, despite the fact that perfectionist Riddle recognized his talent and had let him design the outfits for when they had to dress up for unbirthday parties.

Despite that, it had never occurred to you that Cater might want to try designing something for you. However he’d apparently wanted to do just that, as he’d shyly approached you with the suggestion when you’d complimented some of his work. That in itself had let you know how very important this was to him. Cater was never shy, so the fact that he’d been so hesitant to ask said a lot.

Which was of course why you’d agreed without a moment’s hesitation. Honestly even if he hadn’t been so shy about it you would’ve said yes. Cater knew your style inside and out and you trusted him more than words could say.

Your trust turned out to be well founded, and the outfit he’d made for you was utter perfection. It was done in colors that flattered your skin, eyes and hair, and had a cut that flattered your figure. You weren’t sure you’d ever felt so simultaneously beautiful and comfortable before. You absolutely loved it, you just hoped Cater loved it too.

“You look beautiful,” Cater told you, quick on the mark as ever with a compliment as he hopped up from the couch he’d been waiting on, “But then again you always do.”

You huffed at that, but didn’t protest as he circled around you, holding still so he could view you from all angles.

“Do you like it?” he asked, once he reached your front again, uncharacteristically shy again.

“Cater are you kidding I love it!” you told him fiercely, not willing to let any sort of insecurity stand.

“Pretty sure you’d have to say that even if it was ugly babe,” Cater told you a little wryly.

“I wouldn’t want to hurt your feelings,” you conceded, unwilling to lie, especially when you knew how much Cater valued honesty, but also unwilling to back down, “But in this case I’m definitely not exaggerating! Have you seen me?!”

You twirled in front of him arms spread for emphasis, “I look amazing! I feel amazing which, as you’ve told me, is just as if not more important! If you don’t believe me we can march right over to Pomefiore and get Vil. I’m sure you’d believe him!”

“No need for that,” Cater told you with a huff of amusement, his eyes warm and full of affection as he gently tugged you to him, his warm hands clasping your elbows as he peered into your eyes, “You really do like it babe?”

“I really, really do,” you answered him, with all the sincerity you could muster, “So much so I might just have to wear it every day. I’m not sure my other clothes could ever compare.”

“No need to go that far,” he insisted, though the bright look in his eyes belied the words, “I can always make you more.”

“So long as it doesn’t put you out,” you replied, “I’d love to wear your clothes Cater, anywhere anytime.”

Your boyfriend gave you one of his rare soft smiles, tugging you into his arms and just holding you, clearly grateful for what you’d said. You hugged back, quietly scheming to yourself determined to help Cater realize how talented he was. He deserved it, but in the mean time you would simply savor how much he clearly loved and trusted you, letting you be his first real model. You really couldn’t have asked for a better boyfriend than Cater Diamond and you were now even more determined to make sure he knew just how much you adored him in return.

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[rekrappeter]

music to my eyes

♡ pairing: fred weasley x reader

♡ notes: this is just something small, I haven’t had much inspiration lately plus I'll never get sick of writing the best friend to lover tropes

♡ warnings: kissing, mentions of drinking alcohol, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of being lonely

At first, it sounded like a great idea - the thought of having all your closest friends in one house for New Years Eve was great, especially with the year that was in it. You made a pact before leaving Hogwarts that you’d continue to spend time with the group that got you through the endless classes; however, it seemed that this year everyone was busy with other things. You could probably count the amount of times that you got together on one hand. It was understandable, you had started a new job, finally finding your feet in the muggle world. 

One of your best friends, George Weasley, and Angelina got married, having an intimate wedding out their back-garden  - which was one of the social gatherings you all made it to. Lee Jordan had met an Irish witch, Niamh, and ended up getting married and having a baby in the space of twelve months, “It was love at first sight” he had insisted. Leaving you and your other best friend, Fred Weasley, the only two people with no relationship commitments in the group. Hence, how easy it was for you and Fred to drop everything and head off down the country with the ‘so-called adults’ of the group now. It wasn’t until you were swirling your finger on the rim of your wine glass, listening into the conversations the couples were having that you suddenly felt lonely. 

You couldn’t add anything interesting or of any use into their conversations; you never had any experience planning a wedding or getting up at 2am to a crying baby. There was a sudden aching feeling in your body, an empty hole in your chest but you tried your best to plaster a smile on your face. Lifting your gaze up from the red wine, you immediately caught Fred’s eyes. He raised his brow up, silently asking if you were alright and you nodded subtly, smiling at him. “Speaking of babies,” George announced loudly, standing up and placing his hand on Angelina’s shoulder, who lifted her own manicured fingers and caressed his hand, “Angelina and I have something to announce.”

George never got a chance to comment any further before Lee and Fred were bouncing out of their own chairs and hurdling themselves at him, “No way!” Fred cheered, ruffling his younger twins hair. “Georgie is gonna be a dad!” 

“Congratulations, Angie,” you said, pulling yourself out of the trance that you didn’t realise you were in. You wrapped your arms around her, squeezing her slightly, “I was wondering why you were having an alcohol free weekend,” you teased, pulling back and letting Niamh embrace her. 

“I really wanted to tell you earlier, but George thought it would be best to tell the group together.” 

“It’s such amazing news,” you sighed, jumping slightly when you feel on a hand place itself on your shoulder and you turn to see George, his hair cut shorter than his twins currently, “Georgie,” you gasped, you hug him tightly, even tighter than Angelina, and placing a soft kiss on his cheek. “Congratulations.” 

Fred watched the interaction quietly, the voices of Angelina and Niamh fading into the background. He watched how soft you were with his twin, yet he couldn’t help but notice how tense your shoulders were. It always looked as if you were hiding something, that you were plastering all these beautiful smiles to keep a secret from him. He watched George and you whisper back and forward, how George’s hand cupped your cheek and it looked as if he was muttering words of encouragement to you. He noticed you nibble on your bottom lip, nodding your head softly. Fred shuffled on his feet and lifted the bottle of beer in his grasp to his lips when you pulled away from his brother. His heart was hammering against his chest, but it started to ease when you walked over to him. 

“How does it feel to become an uncle?” You asked him, standing next to him and leaning on the kitchen counter. You faced out to the group that were laughing and tidying up the dinner table, feeling the warmth from Fred’s body heat. 

“Old,” Fred muttered, feigning a groan and it made you chuckle. He loved that sound, and he loved the way you would roll your eyes dramatically and shove him away from you. 

“Don’t say that,” you sighed, “If you’re getting old, it means I’m getting old.”

“Well, I hate to break it to you, love.”

“Freddie,” you gasped, leaning into him, and only catching a glimpse of the wink he sent your way. He lifted his arm to wrap around your shoulder, your perfume filled his nose and brought him home. There was no denying that he was head over heels in love with you, everyone seen it and sometimes, you did too. The lingering looks and the teasing smirks, it made your stomach flip and twist in on itself but you were never brave enough to move it beyond a simple friendship. There was never a doubt that there was a strong connection between you, it was a connection you never felt with anyone else before and you couldn’t imagine anyone ever taking his place. There was never a need to rush anything but with the fact that both of your best friends are moving on with their lives, which both included a family, it made you think. It made you think about all those times it was just you and Fred, if you were to do something, would you be on the same path as everyone else?

“What are you thinking about in that pretty mind of yours, darling?” Fred asked softly, his voice knocking down a notch. He wasn’t quiet enough though, George’s gaze lifted to watch the friends, but they were too occupied by each other. George nudged Angelina, who followed his gaze and smirked before dragging him out the door. Lee and Niamh got the hint quickly, and then it was just you and Fred, wrapped up in your own cocoon. You wanted to ask him the burning question but your emotions got the best of you, they became so overwhelming that you barely noticed the tears quickly sliding down your cheeks until Fred was wrapping his arms around you, humming softly in your ear. “What’s wrong?” he asked, rocking you back and forward.

“N-nothings wrong,” you assured him, squeezing your arms between you and wiping your tears away, “It’s just… Is it too late?” 

Fred looked down at you, his lips parting in shock and his brows furrowed together, “T-too late for what, y/n?”

“For us,” your voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. 

It was as if your words were a gush of wind with the aim of knocking him off his feet, it was a blow to his stomach. The silence erupted around you, your eyes searching for anything lingering beneath his brown ones but the longer he kept quiet, the smaller the hope became. Fred could feel the thumbing of his heart against his chest, he wanted to scream from the rooftops about how in love with you he was but he was stunned. He had never expected this, not in his wildest dreams. You had never seen Fred so quiet and it scared you, your words repeated in your head and you were quick to detangle yourself from his grasp. “Forget what I said,” you mumbled, turning on your heels and walking away from him, using the side of your hand to wipe away stray tears. 

“Wait, wait,” Fred mumbled, finding his voice but it was nothing but a whisper. He darted towards you, as fast as his sock cladded feet could allow him to go without slipping on the tiles. He reached for your wrist, twirling you around and before you could mutter a single word, his lips caught yours quickly. Both of his hands cupped your jaw, his eyes fluttering closed and your heart was pounding fast but it calmed down and slowly, you started to settle, finding yourself kissing him back. Butterflies filled his stomach as he stumbled forward, pushing you back up against the wall. Your fingers trailed up his body, brushing gently against his jaw before finding home through his long locks. 

Before he got carried away, Fred pulled away and breathed in your scent. His eyes fluttered open, finding yours still squeezed shut and he wasn’t prepared for them to open up; your eyes were heavy but igniting. Your breathing started to even out, feeling relief wash over you. “You couldn’t have done that about thirty seconds ago?”

“You caught me off guard,” Fred mumbled, a goofy grin on his face. You brought your fingers to clasp onto his collar, guiding his lips back to yours, becoming obsessed with how they felt against yours. You lost yourself in the moment, making up for lost time. “It’s most definitely not too late,” Fred mumbled against your lips, and the vibrations of your hums gave him the urge to keep on kissing you. 

[princess-of-inarizaki]

Oh hi there it's me again ヾ(＾-＾)ノ I just finished all of my essays and projects I mean almost all of them . So can you do hcs of first date with Sakusa, Atsumu, Suna, Kenma and Oikawa? Like how far they'll go far for affection, pda, etc? How they'll make the date fun and enjoyable? Smthn like that.

I finally got to your request @k-sakusa-old !! (So very proud of you for completing those essays hehe, eventho it's a bit late; congratulations!!)

I really hope you enjoy this, it took me quite a while because I wanted it to be perfect. Love you!! 💖💖💖

First dates with the boys!

Characters: Oikawa, Atsumu, Suna, Sakusa, Kenma.

Warnings: none

Oikawa

(Oikawa bby!! It's so funny, he's one of my favourite characters, and yet this is the first headcanon I'm writing about him. I hope to do it well)

Oikawa would be very thorough. He prides himself on being a romantic who's able to sweep anyone off of their feet, so when he realizes he has a crush on you, he wastes no time!

Corny pickup lines, and exceptional romantic gestures, and he's always trying to touch you! (Not in an uncomfortable way, more like, holding your hand, and small hugs.)

One day, he just confesses his feelings and asks you out on a date, with the sweetest smile on his face. He's just looking at you with this expression of pure love on his face, you can't help but say yes immediately.

He tells you he'll pick you up in the evening, with a wink. Though he seems very suave and cool, internally his heart is just beating so fast and he can't wait to spend time alone with you.

The time comes and you hear your doorbell ring. Your parents answer, and Oikawa is just casually chatting them up and talking to them.

Your parents seem to really like his carefree and charming attitude, and passion towards volleyball. Not gonna lie, they're proud of your choice.

You come down, after a while, and Oikawa breaks out in a huge smile whilst ruffling your hair. “You look gorgeous, y/n-chan. I'm going to take care of you so no one dares look at you.”

Your parents laugh whilst you're just a blushing mess!

Eventually, the two of you leave and get into Oikawa's car. His arm is slung around your seat, and he's singing along to songs on the radio, persuading you to join him.

You finally reach, and Oikawa, ever the gentleman, helps you get out of the car, and holds your hand leading you to an ice skating rink.

He rents two pairs of skates, and gets down on his knees to help you lace them up. (He's such a sweetheart, honestly)

When the both of you are laced up, you carefully make your way on the ice together, hand in hand. Oikawa is pretty good with controlling his skates, but it's your first time so you're pretty nervous.

He gently leads you across the ice, and makes sure to never let you go. Sometimes, his hands are on your waist to ensure you don't fall, and slowly as the evening progresses, your hands, because you're more confident.

Will definitely twirl you on skates and spin you around when he feels like you've got the hang of it. Thinks you look beautiful with your cheeks flushed and huge smile.

He can't resist pecking you on the cheek, to feel your cold skin immediately heat up beneath his lips.

Takes you out for dinner at a fancy restaurant after ice skating, and definitely stares at you like you're the most beautiful girl he's ever seen, the warm candlelight illuminating your face.

You're to flustered to eat, with him staring at you like that, but he laughs and feeds you, much to your embarassment.

Makes sure to bring you home before your curfew, and kisses you in the car in front of your house. A soft song is playing in the background, and his lips are gently pressing on yours.

He walks you to your doorstep, and thanks you for having such a fun night out with him, and pecks your forehead once more before leaving.

Atsumu

Two favourite characters, one after the other? Alright luv, I'm on a roll 👉👈

I think Atsumu genuinely has a soft spot for you. Everyone may think of him as a jerk or an asshole, but when he sees you, he hates that image of himself, and desperately wants you to see him in a different way.

He's so gentle, and you can tell that he tries his best to use sweeter words, and be more affectionate. He's trying to let you know he cares, and really really likes you...

And honestly? You like him too. You love how he seems to try so hard for you, and you ask him out on a date (quite bold, go you!!)

He freaks out on the spot when you do, and asks you to leave it up to him, since he was just about to ask you out too. “Can we do it this Saturday, y/n? I'll take care of everything!”

He has the softest blush on his face, and you two bid farewell to go to your classes on the opposite directions. Osamu jabs his twin in the ribs and teases him for not being the first to ask you out.

“But at least she liked me enough, so shut up 'Samu” he's just so smug!

It's Saturday, and you're up bright and early. Selecting a cute sundress, you tie your hair up and wait by the park, where Atsumu is supposed to meet you.

He walks up to you, and takes in a sharp breath when he sees what you're wearing. He thinks you look beautiful, but he really just doesn't know how to say it. “Yer pretty” he mumbles.

But he knows the word "pretty" doesn't even come close to what you are. Is ethereal the word?

He has a bag with him, and he begins taking out bento boxes and other assorted snacks. “I uh— I had 'Samu cook this for us, but I helped too, so let's eat?”

The park was quiet and clean, since it was early in the morning and no one else was there. Atsumu leaned against a tree, (and took a huge breath for guts) before pulling you close to him.

He melted after seeing you look at him and smile as you popped a piece of takoyaki in your mouth.

The date progressed with Atsumu feeding you at random intervals, and laughing at how you seemed to have the cutest reactions to each of the dishes.

I feel like Atsumu would also be the type to let you have the last dumpling, or sushi, because that's how much he really adores you! :(Sorry this is so soft hhh)

You feel really happy after the meal, and snuggle closer to Atsumu, his arm wrapped around you and thank him for it. His heart is just beating so fast, and he slowly strokes your hair.

You suddenly get an idea, and get up, pulling him up with you. He stares at you whilst you open Spotify and play a song.

“Let's dance, 'Tsumu” you say softly, as you wrap your arms around his neck and place his arms around your waist. He's not used to being this close to you, but he really likes it.

As the music softly plays from your phone's small speaker, you sway aimlessly, staring into Atsumu's eyes as deeply as he is into yours.

You reach up, feeling bold, and kiss his lips gently, a small smile playing across your face, and you instantly feel his body heat up beneath your touch.

“I think you're perfect for me, Atsumu.” he has never felt more in love, than he is with you right now.

Suna

You and Suna would be the type of really tight best friends who everyone thinks are dating, but really aren't.

And it's driving people crazy! Like, he naps on your lap all the time, you wait for him to finish practice, and he's always recording you. You guys are obviously in love, but somehow you don't ever admit it?

Your friends and his are so tempted to just force you to get into a relationship already, but they're too scared of the blackmail Suna has on them xD

You want to ask him out too, but you're just really shy, and scared of putting your friendship on the line. He's the exact same.

So it goes on, torturously. Being so close, yet so far.

Until one day, you and Suna are hanging out in your room. You're studying, whilst he's watching volleyball videos. You keep sneaking glances at his beautiful side profile next to you.

The volleyball videos are a façade to him too. He really wanted to confess to you today, and thought today's study session would be a good opportunity.

Pulling your chair to face him, he takes your hands and brings it close to him. “Y/n... I'm not really good with things like this, and I know we're best friends, but I really like you.”

“I'm really sorry, I don't know if this will affect our friendship, but you're just too damn perfect to ignore.”

“Every single second I spend with you is excruciating because I want you to be mine so—”

He's interrupted with your soft lips pressing on his, as you lean forward in your seat, hands cupping his face. He's stunned, and his eyes widen, but he's just so happy, he kisses you back.

He laughs and looks at you, you're shy, after the outburst, and look up at him, eyes sparkling and cheeks so red. He gently holds you in his arms, and places you on the bed, getting on next to you.

Normally, if a guy did this, you'd be wary, and absolutely freaked out, but this wasn't a stranger. This was Suna. Your Suna.

He turns to face you and holds you in his arms as you bury your face in the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent.

Softly stroking your hair, and tracing patterns on your back, he asks “So is this how our first date is going to go?”

You laugh and nod, “our first date is mutual napping. As expected of my boyfriend.”

Suna's words are caught in his throat when he hears you say that. Boyfriend? It sounds so good coming out from your mouth like that. Overjoyed, he pulls you closer.

The afternoon goes by lazily, as Suna falls asleep shortly after you do. You have naps together often, but none like this. None as intimate as him holding you, and peppering small kisses on you whenever he felt like it.

None as nice as being able to whisper “I love you, Rin.” everytime you jolted up, and feeling his presence, his warmth, and undeniable love for you.

You definitely take a picture of him, and post it on your social media, much to your friends' delight. Atsumu comments “Finally. I would've thrown Rintarō in the trashcan next time I have to hear how amazing you are. Now he can tell it to you straight 🤚”

A smile plays on your lips as you gently kiss your boyfriend's sleeping figure, loving him all the more.

Sakusa

Sakusa wants to do things properly with you. Like, he's very old school romantic, and he wants to take his time to sweep you off of your feet.

So you're in art history class, and as he sits next to you, he sees you focusing on a certain page of the textbook, mesmerized.

His cheeks grow warm beneath the mask, because you look so cute and focused, eyes shining as you try to memorize all the information on the page.

Being observant, he quickly concludes that an art gallery would be the best place for a first date. After all, Sakusa wants things to be perfect. He wants you to enjoy this date more than anything, and that starts with finding out your interests.

He slowly pushes down his mask, leans over to your side of the table and asks you if you'll let him take you out on a date this Sunday. You're so flustered, because you never thought Sakusa saw you in that way.

He looked serious, with no hint of it being a joke, so you nodded and told him you'd meet him Friday late afternoon.

Your mind was whirling, it seemed too good to be true. You've always had a crush on Sakusa, and ever since he was assigned to sit next to you at the start of the year, you've always hoped it would be a good chance to get closer to him.

You never knew he thought of you in the same way, and suddenly, the smallest things he did for you, like helping you with your questions, or sharing his sanitizer with you made so much more sense.

Friday, after school, your room was messy and strewn with clothing. After settling on a comfy outfit, you walked to the gallery, to find Sakusa, clad in jeans and a turtlenecks waiting for you.

He didn't have his mask on, and your heart somehow flipped, seeing him in all his beauty, without something covering his face.

The place was less crowded than usual, because it was still a weekday. Feeling bold, you decided to gently pull his hand and hold it. He intertwined his fingers with yours as you pulled him to check out an exhibit.

A few exhibits later, Sakusa was more in love with you than ever. The way your eyes shone with delight whenever you stared at something you particularly liked, or how you squeezed his hand tighter after feeling excited, causing his heart to squeeze a little bit too.

Deep down inside, he admired your beautiful figure staring up at a beautiful piece of art. The entire room was filled with canvases of different sizes, each more gorgeous than the next, but Sakusa's eyes were only on you.

To him, you were more stunning than any of the pieces in the room.

The two of you settle in front of a painting of two lovers, kissing each other passionately. You sigh softly when you see the painting.

Sakusa smirks and pulls you to him, his hands on your waist the exact same way as the lovers in the painting. His lips reach down to yours, capturing them in a passionate kiss. You're a bit startled, but you kiss him back, placing your hands on his chest.

It wasn't a long kiss, but you felt out of breath when he finally pulled away. “I thought you wanted to recreate that painting” whispered Sakusa in your ear, sensually.

You were a huge blushing mess, as you leaned up and kissed his lips one more time. “Oh hush, you.”

Once you were satisfied with how much time you've spent looking at the art, Sakusa smiles at you, asking you if you've enjoyed spending the day with him.

“I did... And honestly, I don't want it to end” you say shyly. His eyes widen, and a small smile settles on his face as he holds your waist, pulling you closer to him.

A few minutes later, you're in Sakusa's room. You know it's special because he didn't seem like the type of person to invite people to his house, much less his room. He held two paper bags of baked pastries and passed you one.

“How did you know these were my favourite?” you asked, as you took a bite of the flaky pastry as it melted on your tongue. “I just do, after all, I want to treat you perfectly because you are perfect.”

Your heart skipped a few beats as you shifted closer to him, wrapping his arms around you. You snuggled closer to his chest and felt his heart beneath you. “You're perfect too, Omi-kun.”

He gently holds you close as the taste of butter, pastry, and your Chapstick lingers in his mouth.

Kenma

You're Kuroo's best friend, and you inevitably also get extremely close to Kenma. (No offense but they are a package deal :( I couldn't bear writing him without Kuroo)

You've recently noticed that Kenma has been becoming more distant and shy than usual. It breaks your heart, because you really like him, and you're worried you've done something wrong.

You finally ask Kuroo why Kenma has been acting that way recently. “Don't sweat it kitten. I think he likes you, but he doesn't know how to deal with his feelings.”

You're a bit shocked, but nonetheless very happy. At first, you thought the warm feeling in you whenever Kenma smiled, or did something cute was platonic, but as you spent more time with him, you realized it was anything but that.

One day after school, Kuroo texted you, asking you to come over to Kenma's house. “We'll game together.” was his exact words.

But when you arrived, Kuroo was no where to be seen, and a blushing Kenma perched on his gaming chair looked very flustered.

“I'll go, I'm sorry. Maybe Kuroo was just pulling a prank on me.” you said nervously, not wanting to make the boy uncomfortable. But Kenma grabbed your wrist before you were able to leave.

“Maybe you could stay? I like having you around.” he said softly, his eyes not fully meeting yours. You smiled and nodded, getting into the gaming chair next to his.

“Would you like to play with me, then?” you asked, as you set the game up, the loading screen displayed on the computer.

The afternoon progressed with you and Kenma exhibiting perfect teamwork, as you levelled up together. He kept sneaking glances at you during the game, and loved seeing your small face enveloped by the huge headphones.

He thought you looked absolutely adorable. And hated how he could never tell it to your face. He really wanted to tell you how pretty you looked, or how much he liked you, but he was just too scared to.

Feeling his gaze on you, you gently took off your headphones before staring at him. “what's wrong, Kenma?” your eyes shone with concern as you studied his face intently.

What happened next was a blur to Kenma, but next he knew, he was kissing you, his hands on your shoulders and yours tangled in his hair.

He wasn't good with words but he wanted to show you how he felt. Show you how you made him feel, like the butterflies in his stomach couldn't calm down. He poured everything into that one kiss.

When he finally pulled away, his cat-like eyes took in your appearance, flustered smile, red cheeks, beautiful eyes. He was scared you might reject him, but the look on your face didn't show any of that.

You looked at him the exact same way he looked at you, with suppressed emotions and rushing love. Could it be that you liked him too?

“Uh, y/n... Do you maybe like me too?” you laughed softly as you tucked his hair behind his ears, pulling his headphones off his head. “for someone so incredibly smart, you are pretty daft.”

He sighed happily, and pulled your hands closer to him, placing them on his cheeks. “This is too much for my heart, I think we should continue gaming now.”

You laughed. This quirky boy never changed. Spinning the gaming chair, you turned to face the screen.

He brought snacks, at some point too, and insisted on feeding you. To tease him, you kissed his fingers whenever he did, causing the poor boy to blush.

Somewhere, in his house amidst his science study books, Kuroo laughed. “They're probably making out now.” (ah Kuroo is the cutest wingman!! And no I don't accept criticism >:)

[horansqueen]

New Angel - Chapter 9

story masterlist [x]

chapter 1  ☆ chapter 2  ☆ chapter 3  ☆ chapter 4  ☆ chapter 5  ☆ chapter 6  ☆ chapter 7  ☆ chapter 8

NOTES

☆ written from Niall’s pov ☆ i don’t proofread, I never do, I hate it. ☆ AU comedy/fluff/smut/romance ☆ 2.6k ☆ i accept requests and ideas for this story, so message me in my inbox! ☆ if you want to be notified when this story is updated (or be taken off the update list) CLICK HERE

NIALL

It was not easy falling asleep on that night. Everything kept running around my mind, stressing me in a way I hadn't been in a while. I was wondering what would happen to the friendship between Millie and Louis, how would living with them turn out to be, and if they would just end up hating each other. Would I have to play the peacemaker or worse, be both of their voices when they would want to 'communicate'. I didn't want to get between them and stop fights and arguments, I just wanted us to be all friends the way we used to be. Perhaps, Millie was right. Everything became messy when feelings were involved, and it made me wonder if the same thing would happen with Summer.

I sat in bed and rubbing my eyes with a sigh. I was not even directly implied in this story and yet, I felt like it was affecting me more than it should, but I couldn't help it. So much had happened in so little time that I felt overwhelmed with all the feelings, fights and new relationships building up around me. I was not against changes but when everything feels perfect, it's painful to see it stop.

That thought made me think about Grace and suddenly, I wanted to see her face. I got up without thinking more about it and made my way to the kitchen just to look at one of the pictures of her placed on the fridge. It was stupid and pathetic, I knew it, but it was the middle of the night and at least, I would look stupid and pathetic in front of no one but myself.

I stopped dead in my track as I walked in the hall and realized I was right in front of Millie's room. I moved slightly closer to the door and let my head fall down slightly as my eyes closed. I could hear her sob, her face probably pressed against a pillow since the sound was muffled. I stayed for what seemed like an hour in front of her door as my heart thumped hard in my chest. I heard her pain and at the same time, it revived mine intensely and I swallowed hard, trying to keep my tears in. I wanted to knock. I wanted to walk in there and take her in my arms. I wanted to tell her everything would be okay. I wanted to be there for her the way she had been there for me, but I couldn't. I was not strong enough to comfort her. I was in the same bad place as she was and I was not sure I really could help in any way. i felt like I would just make things worse or bring everything back to me, and that's clearly not what she needed.

I thought about how Millie shook me, made me get up, almost forced me to get back on my feet and go back to work. I thought about how she took care of me recently, helped me with Summer, listened to all my shit and gave me great advice. I breathed in and knock at the door gently with one of my knuckle. The sob stopped and it became completely quiet. I waited a few seconds an finally licked my lips.

"Mill, it's me." I let out in a low and soft tone. "I just wanted to check on you."

"I'm alright, Niall, thank you." she replied quickly.

I heard her voice crack as she talked and placed one of my palms on the door as if it would change anything. "I know you think no one cares, but I do. I want to listen to you, Mill. You can vent to me if you want, you can cry to me. You can always be yourself with me, okay? I'm interested in how you feel."

I waited for about a minute but realized she wouldn't answer and I finally just sighed. "I mean it. You can knock at my room any day, any time. Good night, Mill."

I walked to the kitchen, only glancing at the picture of Grace and falling grabbed a water bottle before walking back to my room. I sat in bed and grabbed my phone, frowning slightly when I noticed a message.

'Thank you, Niall.' with a heart emoji was sent from my roommate and the left corner of my lips raised in a sad smile before I only typed a different heart emoji as an answer.

-----

I woke up the next morning and took a shower before walking to the living room with my laptop. I put golf on tv but I wasn't really looking. I had a dream about Grace and it was so real and vivid that I knew it would fuck me up for a few days and I hated it. Instead to try to get distracted from it, I decided to check on her social medias and just as I thought, it was an extremely bad idea. I started scrolling through the pictures of her trip and felt slightly better when I realized she hadn't lied to me. She was with her four best friends and she looked happy. It messed up with my head even more because while I was a total wreck and pathetic and sad human being, she was laughing and having fun with her friends. Clearly, we weren't going through this break-up the same way and it was not only painful but also unsettling. I has spent that time sitting on my couch watching the same movie three times in two days, I had not showered in days and felt like my heart was in dust... while she was drinking on a beach, partying and meeting new people. It was sad and I knew it, and I clearly needed to stop yearning for her and the love she was not giving me anymore. I had to move on, and not just survive.

"No fucking way."

I jumped at the voice behind me and quickly turned my head to meet Millie's raised eyebrows and judgemental look. What actually surprised me the most was not that she had walked in the living room without me noticing, but it was that if I wasn't aware of her fight with Louis the night before, and if I hadn't heard her cry in the middle of the night, I coul easily believe that Louis hadn't broken up with her at all. I had no idea how she was hiding it but it made me a bit jealous. I wish I could pretend I didn't care, too.

"Mill, hey, are you alright?"

"I was!" she started, tilting her head. "But then I walked in here and caught you checking pictures of your ex girlfriend on her social medias? It's not only creepy, Niall, it's also very sad."

"Yea." I agreed with a sigh, glancing at the screen of my computer again. "I can't say you're wrong."

Millie walked to the couch and sat next to me before quickly closing my computer and turning my way. Her eyes met mine and my eyebrows raised.

"What?" I asked, my lips curling on the left.

"Nothing, I was just thinking we both deserved to get drunk."

I nodded and put my computer away on the coffee table before turning to my friend with a bigger smile. "Yes, we do. What do you have in mind?"

"A small party. Here. Tonight." she proposed, shrugging a shoulder. "When we've had enough, we just throw everyone out. And we don't have to think of a way to get home, or get a designed driver because we won't leave this apartment."

"Okay, who do we invite?"

"Just a few friends and yes, you can invite Summer. You can even ask her to bring a few of her friends, too."  she pointed out with a bigger smile. "I'd love to meet them."

"Eh, don't be so sure. They're... weird."

Millie chuckled and shook her head but her traits softened and she finally sighed. "I'm happy you found someone, Niall." she admitted in a low and gentle tone. "You really deserve to be happy."

My amused smiled turned into a fond one and I reached for one of her hands, squeezing her fingers tight. I wanted to tell her that she deserved it too and that it would definitely happen to her soon, but I knew she'd just tell me to shut up. Grace had broken up with me a few weeks before but for Millie, it was not even a day old. It was too recent to think about someone else, at least, emotionally. I pressed my lips together, realizing that with Summer, it was not really an emotional connection either and that even if I knew it could be, it would still take time. I had to admit that I normally fall fast but this time, it was different because I was not over Grace.

"You know we sort of have to invite Louis." I replied, raising my nose up.

"I know. It's all good. He lives here too." she shrugged, looking away. "Okay, I'll make a few calls and then go get some food and beers."

She got up and without thinking, I did the same. "Millie." I waited until she turned to me and finally tilted her head. "I meant what I said last night. I understand how you feel. You can open up to me, you know. I'm not curious, I honestly care about you."

Her lips parted lightly and her eyes roamed slowly on my face. My words seemed to surprise her and make her speechless but she finally nodded.

"Thank you. I just... I'm just not used to that." she admitted in a whisper. "I don't think anyone ever.. cared. I just don't know how to do that."

"Gotta start somewhere."

We just stared at each other for a minute or two but it was not awkward. I could read so many emotions on her eyes and I finally just sent her a small smile.

"I promise I'll try."

-----

Millie and I stopped at a restaurant for take out and ate together in the kitchen. I had decided to open a bottle of red wine and we were almost done with it when we brought our dishes in the sink.

"Are you going to invite Summer to sleep here?"

"Naa," I grimaced, shaking my head as I opened the fridge to grab a beer. "I'm scared that if we start that it'll become more intimate and I'm just... not ready."

"Take your time, there's no rush."

I opened my beer just as the doorbell rang and soon, a bunch of people had invaded my living room. My lips curled when Summer appeared in and I quickly walked to her, wrapping my arms around her neck and pulling her into a hug.

"The most beautiful girl has arrived. Finally."

She giggled against my chest and I loosened my embrace to look down at her. We had said we wouldn't kiss in public so I just smiled and licked my lips.

"Want something to drink?" I proposed, raising my eyebrows.

"I'm pretty sure my friends are already in the kitchen, stealing stuff in your fridge."

I chuckled and shook my head, glancing at the kitchen before moving my gaze back to Summer. "No worries, that's exactly why Millie and I filled it this afternoon."

I felt my heart jump in my chest, wondering if I should tell Summer about what had happened between Millie and Louis but I quickly decided against it. I wanted to tell her, if only to make sure she wouldn't say something awkward about their relationship, but at the same time, I was well aware it was none of my business, and not my place at all to share this with anyone.

"Just out of curiosity, does Andrew have something against me?"

Summer frowned for a second but finally shook her head and it surprised me that she hadn't noticed how her friend was looking at me. If she was that obviously about it, perhaps she would think my theory about him having feelings for her a bit hard to believe and once again, I decided not to tell her, at least not now. It reminded me that we had promised each other we'd be honest and I felt like I was failing to keep that promise.

"No, of course not!" she answered with a smile. "Andrew likes everyone!"

My lips curled slightly on the right as I looked at her. It was cute how naive she could be and the way she smiled made me want her to keep being oblivious to all the bad things around her. Maybe that was what real happiness was : only seeing the good in people. Unfortunately, I couldn't do that.

"Niall, come on, you're not being a good host!"

We both turned to Millie who handed a glass of wine to my friend and Summer sent her a big smile, thanking her.

"Thank you for inviting me and my friends, Millie!"

"You're very welcome, I'm glad you're here."

I chuckled as I watched them interact and finally turned to my best friend and raised my eyebrows, an amused smile spread on my lips. "What about me? No drink for me?"

"You've always drank half of a bottle of red wine earlier, go get a beer or something!"

I chuckled again and pushed MillieMs hips with mine, making her laugh again.

"Don't tell me what to do, pet!"

"And don't call me like that!" she whined, making me laugh even more.

"I think I need something stronger." I pointed out, sending a smile to Summer and walking to the kitchen.

"Sharing is caring!" I heard Millie yell when I was far enough and I turned around, bringing my hand high and showing her a thumb up. She smiled more and kissed her palm before blowing on her hand and I rolled my eyes, a smile still gracing my lips.

I wanted to have fun on that night and I wanted Millie to change her mind and get drunk with me, too. She was right, we both deserved it after having our hearts broken and I was scared she would fall into a depressive phase the way I had had. It was not the impression she gave and I knew she wanted to look strong and unbreakable in front of everyone but I could read her so easily it was scary. Perhaps it was because I was going through the same thing, or maybe I just noticed little things that other people didn't, but in the end, I knew Millie was extremely sad. No matter what she said, I knew she had strong feelings for Louis and it would probably be even harder for her to get over him than it was for me to get over Grace, if only because he was a close friend and they lived in the same apartment.

I walked back to the living room with two glasses of vodka but I lost my smile immediately when I heard Louis' voice. I had invited him but I had made it clear that if he would prefer to spend his evening with his new girl, it was totally okay. I hadn't expected him to actually show up and something stirred inside my stomach. He walked slowly closer and that's when I noticed the tall and pretty brunette next to him. I held my breath and blinked a few times, knowing that it was the worst case scenario happening right in front of my eyes. Louis had brought his new girlfriend with him, knowing that Millie would have to see them together and suddenly, I felt completely powerless.

[silentfangirlwritings]

01. indigo elevators

exes cross paths at a gathering and share an elevator ride.

pairing: unnamed - (zion kuwonu & reader)

word count: 3.6k

~~~

blue and white fairy lights lined the hallway from the elevator to the main room. he’d seen photos of his friends apartment before but in person, he couldn’t help but marvel. he could imagine her scooting a step ladder up and down the hallway in an attempt to do it all alone. it was a funny thought, though her short frame and fiery independence made a lot of his thoughts about her funny.

it was only supposed to be a chill night with a mixture of her high school and university friends to celebrate her half birthday, a tradition that was once confusing was now the norm. he hadn’t wished her a 'happy birthday' since they’d first met and he’d never met someone to be so happy and okay with it.  

the main area was filtered with the same white and blue lights as her hallway. they illuminated her white furniture and created the illusion that they were floating. the smoke that hung above encouraged his mind in that direction as did the quiet sounds of sabrina claudio.  

he joined the crowd after placing his gift on her kitchen counter and was handed a blunt while his friend introduced him to those he didn’t know. he greeted everyone with his stunning smile and took a hit after saying his name. conversation picked up straight where it left off and he half listened as he scanned over those who were crowded around him. he knew most from high school, all were familiar, kind faces and he guessed he was the last to arrive.

how he wished that was true.

she came in silently, not announcing her presence in the room till she was kissing the friend they were all there to celebrate. people were excited to see her, like him, they hadn’t seen her since high school. but he just sat and stared at her, his gaze hidden by his blond curtains.  

all the warmth in his body had suddenly disappeared and he was numb to touch and the laughter that ran around. he’d been warned she’d been invited just as he had but it’d been so long since they were in the same city, let alone country, at the same time, he guessed she wouldn’t show up. last he’d seen she was in europe, sipping on a glass of red wine.

truthfully, he’d hoped she’d be there. he was the only one she hadn’t had contact with since high school came to an end. he knew she was talking to everyone else, sharing tales of her time abroad with them, but never had she reached out to him. he didn’t want to quiz her on why, he knew why, but he just wanted to know if she was good. if she was happy.  

all his stalking on social media couldn’t have prepared him for the woman that was sat across from him. she’d changed over the years and had evolved into the woman she’d spend her days reading about. her wardrobe had gone from someone who wanted to be hidden, to someone who didn’t mind attention.  

from her instagram he knew she was no stranger to showing off the parts of her that were once only known to him. the curves of her body had matured as had her face. he’d always joked she’d look like a baby till she had one of her own and it seemed he’d been very wrong while she’d been spot on. the girl he’d once known inside and out had morphed into someone he knew nothing about and only when his vision clouded did he move to tear his gaze away from her.

the night went on with talk of their past and dancing. it was easy to compare it to old times. the only difference was that they didn’t have to keep it a secret from their parents.  

she’d yet to acknowledge his presence, somehow never once turning in his direction no matter where he moved. from the kitchen, he watched her dance on their friend they were celebrating. he’d always loved the control she had over her hips and he could see she still had it. if anything, her control had only gotten better. why that made him mad, he was unsure.

“maybe you should talk to her instead of just staring at her?”

his friend, the only one who knew everything that had happened between them, joined him in the kitchen.  he grabbed a handful of chips from the bowl he was hovering over and followed his gaze to her.  

“don’t have anything to say.”

or was it that he had too much to say?

he had no trust in himself. would he actually be able to say anything if he got a moment alone with her? or would he just stand there staring at her, his mouth dry like the desert?

he didn’t want to think what it would be like if it went the opposite way. word vomit wasn’t pretty on him and if he were to spill his guts to her, he wasn’t sure he’d ever forgive himself.  

either way, he’d just end up embarrassing himself which was why he decided it was best he avoided her for the night. he could stare from afar, admire the beautiful woman she’d become but he couldn’t get too close.  

2:47 am rolled around rather quickly and he was getting ready to leave. things had settled and he wished his friend a happy half birthday one last time, hugging her tight as if he wasn’t going to see her again. she whispered words of love and appreciation, thanking him for being consistent in her life, even when things got hard. he left her with a kiss on the head and a promise to be safe, saying one last time that he loved her.  

the elevator dinged as it opened and he pulled his jacket on over his hoodie as he stepped inside. he pushed the ground floor with his elbow, still not trusting the cleanliness of the buttons despite his friend’s promises.  

the indigo haze of the mirrored walls was just as relaxing as those in her apartment.  he leant his body against the back wall and let his head fall back with his eyes closed.  he’d made it through, he realized with a sigh of relief. the doors were closing and if he was lucky, he wouldn’t have to face her again.  he didn’t want to feel the way he felt when he looked at her again. he’d made it.

“fuck.”

one swear word and the reopening of the doors brought him back to the real world. his luck had never been that good, why would he trust it to be when she was so close? he should have known better.

her gaze avoided his as she stepped into the elevator. she positioned herself on the opposite wall, leaning against it as she began to put her jacket on. he watched her and studied her side profile. her perfume surrounded him as the doors closed. she smelled sweet. notes of vanilla relaxing his tensed shoulders like her hands used to.

he hadn’t felt her touch in many moons but being stuck in a small space with her for 24 floors had him craving it. why did their friend have to live so high up? and was the elevator moving exceptionally slow? he failed every attempt to look away from her. she looked far too pretty in the odd lighting and her head tilted towards the wall left her neck vulnerable. he wanted to kiss her, to taste her, to see what else had changed over the years. could she still take him to cloud 9 with a single touch?

“do you ever think about me?”

he spoke before he could stop himself, his voice coming out strained and weak. they’d just passed the 20th floor.  

she turned to face him, leaning back against the wall, much like he was. for the first time since they were 17, their eyes met. she still reminded him of honey and her eyelashes were still dark and long, framing her eyes in the most perfect way. 

she didn’t speak as she stared up at him. he could see she was tired and he guessed that she hadn’t been back in the country long. the sadness in her eyes came through in a flash and once he’d noticed it, his eyes mirrored it.

“i still think about you. all the time.”

she forced a smile, her lips tight but nothing reached her eyes.

“i seen you’ve been overseas too. living like you always talked about.”

he rubbed the back of his neck when he spoke, his eyes following her arms as they crossed over her chest. he was talking now, even if he was the only one to speak. there were things he’d spent years wishing he’d said to her and he knew he wasn’t going to get an opportunity this perfect again. so, he cleared his throat and made sure to keep eye contact. clear head, open heart, can’t go wrong.

“i know things ended weirdly between us but i just wanna say that i’m sorry, for real, no bullshit. what i did was immature and wrong and i don’t think like that any more. i really am sorry.”

he paused, hoping she’d say something. but still she stood with her eyebrows raised, her lips softened in a thoughtless pout though he knew she had her tongue between her teeth. she always did when she was listening, thinking about what to say next. too many times he’d caught her off guard with his lips on hers and found how she was.

“i’ve been missin’ you a lot, even more being back home and i was- i was wondering if you wanted to catch up sometime.”

his voice cracked, he wasn’t expecting it to but it did. she drew in a deep breath, her chest rising and falling slowly. he was beginning to feel the heat of her gaze, thoughts that he hadn’t said the right thing echoed throughout his mind.

some years ago, he would’ve known how she’d react. they were close friends long before they were intimate with one another. he could guess the next sentence out of her mouth before she even thought it and she was the same for him. joined at the hip, teachers and parents would always say. one night, he’d overheard his mom tell his dad that they seemed to be two people who were always destined to find one another as there was no way they hadn’t known each other in a previous life.

he’d believed those words, even after he made the mistake that tore them apart. he always knew one day he’d find his way back to her and he’d thought that she’d accept his apology and wish to rekindle what they had spent years building.

his life was just a little bit less without her. it didn’t take a grown man to realize that. he’d known it from the first day the truth had been brought to light. in many ways, he felt like he was merely wandering through life till their paths crossed again. he wanted to give her space, everyone said it would be best.  

he needed that space too. his 'sorry' meant something this time, unlike the last. she’d heard the paper in his voice, the sour feeling that he was only saying it because that was what you did when you hurt someone not because he was actually sorry. he hoped she heard the sorrow in his words. felt the importance of them, that he really meant them. not a day had passed by without regret of what he did. surely, she could hear it. she knew him so well.

“well.”

she began, her voice quiet and unfamiliar. she wasn’t warm as she used to be. her voice was still sweet but icy with an edge that spun his head. but then she laughed and everything truly felt wrong.

“after all these years.”

she shook her head and laughed again, looking down at her shoes before turning back to him. he rocked his body weight back and forth between his feet, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable under her gaze. her voice wasn’t what it had always been or at least not how he remembered it. he was facing the deafening thought that he’d forgotten how she sounded after only a few years apart.

“i told myself i wasn’t gonna talk to you, fuck.”

she cut herself off with a shake of her head, clearly thinking out loud. she checked what level they were at, not even bothering to hide her gaze from him. he looked too. floor 17, how was time moving so slow?

she looked back at him again, their eyes meeting and she leant back against the wall. she unfolded her arms from across her chest to shift her hair from her left shoulder to her right. a heavy sigh fell from her lips when she turned back to him. with a single nod of her head, he knew she was ready to speak again.

“a year ago i would’ve been in tears to see you again. even a couple months ago i would’ve been a mess to come face to face with you. but i’m not crying, not yet anyway.”

she glanced again at the light above the door that told them what level they were on. they still had a long way to go and she wanted it to go faster. she didn’t like being this close to him again.  

“i want you to know that i forgave you long ago, even though i knew you didn’t mean it. dwelling on something like that doesn’t make someone better, it just makes them bitter. i forgave you then, and i forgive you now.”

he nodded his head to her, his breathing uneven as he broke out in a sad smile. his vision was beginning to blur and his bottom lip jutted out slightly. he was so happy to realise again that he did know her still, that some things didn’t change. but at the same time, his chest was tight and his knees felt weak at the thought of what was to come next. he wasn’t so sure he was going to cope with it.

“but i can’t welcome you back into my life. i can’t speak with you or look at you without feeling sick. i don’t know you anymore caleb and i don’t feel the need to either.”  

but he did. he needed to. what was she up to now? did she have someone to love? was she happy?

did she miss him?  

“we were-we”

he stuttered over his words, unable to stop himself from stepping closer to her. his chest was swelling and his eyes were burning but he was determined to speak.

“we were so good together. we were meant to walk this earth together.”

she dragged her thumb over his cheekbone, ridding him of the silver droplets he’d let fall. her smile was sympathetic and encouraged a choked sob to escape his heart.

“we were.”

she agreed with a short nod of her head. he could feel it coming again and it took everything in him to not reach out and hold her, to embrace her.

“were is the keyword in all you’re saying. we were but we’re not anymore.”

it was her that brought him closer. her left hand fell to his waist and ushered his body forward.  his forehead fell to meet hers, just as he’d done many times before and her soft hand held the back of his neck.

“we could be again, i know we could. you loved me once, you can again.”

he hated how he sounded, hated that he was crying but he would only for her. with the lasso of hestia wrapped tightly around him, he couldn’t stop himself.  he wanted her, needed her. he missed her in a way that hadn’t been so obvious til he’d laid eyes on her again. he wasn’t even sure he’d ever actually stopped loving her.

“i don’t think i can love you again.”

she spoke clearly, but quietly. each word stabbing directly into his heart.

i. don’t. think. i. can. love. you. again.

his arms wrapped around her and his head fell to her shoulder. she let him cry and rubbed soft circles into the much taller man’s back. he’d never felt smaller. his pleas fell on deaf ears and he knew without her saying anything that if he were ever to see her again he’d be lucky. he held her tight, if it were to be the last time, he wanted to know he held her like she was his world.  

“look at me”

she gently brought his head back up to hers and made sure she had his full attention. his sobs weren’t so violent anymore, he was trying to stop himself and she let him breathe for a moment.

floor 7, she saw out of the corner of her eye and knew what she needed to do.  

she tilted her chin up and all too slowly, their lips met.

it was like a breath of fresh air, being wrapped up in her, connected in the purest sense. he’d always loved her lips, so perfectly sculpted to fit his. she evened his breathing with each passing moment and gifted him with something he hadn’t felt in years. he’d been searching for it, but deep in his heart he knew he would only ever feel it with her.

she parted their lips and almost pushed him off of her to stop his head from leaning against hers. it was something they would always do after they kissed. it presented the perfect opportunity to kiss again and again. as love drunk teenagers, they could never seem to get enough. they were the oxygen the other needed to survive and one kiss was never enough to get through the day.

“why did you-”

“tell me, did you feel something?”

he nodded his head, and she looked away from him. he noticed the look of panic on her face almost instantly. everyone had always said she was the best at hiding how she felt, but he never understood that. sure, her tells were small but anyone who knew her should’ve been able to see them instantly. or was it just another sign to say they were always meant to be?

“well, i didn’t.”

her voice was slightly raised and stern, cold again.

“kissing you used to feel like the universe lived inside me. like i was safe. now, it just feels… nice.”

she smiled sadly up at him again and he nodded his head, unsure of what else to say.  

“maybe it just felt nice too.”

he was lying, he knew it too. but for her, he’d pretend, what if it helped him?

“i know we were always kind of told that we were supposed to be together, that we were destined for one another. but the more i’ve thought about it, i don’t think we were ever supposed to do more than teach each other something. i don’t think you’re the person i’m meant to walk this earth with. i almost know it.”

he just nodded his head again and watched her glance turn to the light that told them what floor they were on. he turned to look too, knowing if he looked at her any longer, he’d end up crying again.  

floor 2. thank the gods above, they were almost there.

“do you want a tissue?”

she was fishing one out of her pocket before he could answer. he took it with a mumble of thanks and moved so they were both facing the door.

the ding of the elevator doors opening felt other worldly and oddly full circle. he’d asked her out in an elevator, he came to realise as he watched the doors open. they’d already kissed a few times but he wanted to take her on a proper date, which at the time was chinese food and a movie at the cinema.  

“wait.”

he said suddenly as she went to leave, his hand grabbing her wrist to stall her movements.

“one last kiss”

he said when she turned back to look at him with concern.

“just one more.”

she nodded her head and stepped back to him. gently, he cupped her face in his large hand, just as he had a million times before and caressed her bottom lip with his thumb. she held his wrists in her hands and their lips met in a burning sensation.

why one last time? he wanted to feel her one last time. he needed to check again to make sure he wasn’t kidding himself, that he actually felt something. he had hope for closure, that he’d finally stop looking at her as the one who got away.

alas, more butterflies awoke inside him, and he burned everywhere she touched. he was in the same place he’d always run off to with her and when she separated from him, he knew it was wrong to go there.

“take care.”

with a wave, she exited the elevator and began her journey in the opposite direction of him. she was gone so quickly while he took his time to gather himself to leave.

in the moonlight, her tears glowed on her cheeks. she needed to get away from him before he could say something else. she was so close to folding. lying through her teeth to him was the hardest thing she’d ever have to do. walking away from him again was the hardest thing she’d ever have to do.

for the first time in the longest time, she’d felt something she craved deep within her. through the cracks of her heart, flower buds began to sprout. she’d mended as much of her heart as she could, but only his love could fill the cracks he’d left behind. he’d planted his seed and with love and kindness, they’d surely blossom and invite the universe back inside her.

but that would only be if she let him back and for now she had no plans to do so.  

[aelin-queen-of-terrasen]

Rowaelin for the OTP Drabble #24

Lmao, this was so fun to write. Thank you for the request! This is like, my first try at Rowaelin fanfictions so please don't kill me if it's bad. I promise I'm improving everyday! 😌

Detention Diaries

Pairing: Rowan x Aelin

Word count: 2012 words.

Warnings: A little swearing here and there.

Summary: Rowan Whitethorn has spent three years of high school like a nobody but when the self proclaimed queen of Terrasen High lands them both into detention, maintaining a low profile might be impossible.

Aelin was so done with the day.

She had accidentally stayed up all night reading a book and now, her eyelids itched to shut down. She had already dozed off thrice in Maths class and had it not been for Dorian shaking her every two minutes, Ms Meave would have had Aelin's head.

Even now, she suppressed a yawn as she made her way to the lockers in the hallway. "I am so screwed. I have an English test today."

A few students waved their hands at Aelin in passing and she gave them a smile. Aelin won't say she was popular but she did know a lot of people in the school, thanks to her cousin Aedion being on the football team and Dorian in the student council.

Dorian rolled his eyes as they stopped by his locker. "Don't be dramatic. You can't fail English even half asleep."

Her best friend was searching for something in his locker when the crowd quieted down and he came. Rowan Whitethorn.

She had heard his name whispered enough times in gossip circles to know just what kind of things he was involved in. The guy had a reputation for being a cold hearted asshole, even if Aelin had never even heard him raise his voice.

A hood covered a better part of his face, hiding the tattoo that covered half his pretty face. She could make out the silver hair peaking from beneath the hood, the oversized hoodie doing nothing to flatter the muscles they all knew he had.

He was beautiful.

Dorian noticed her stare, then rolled his eyes. He kissed her cheek, then said, "Don't get into trouble. I have Physics next." And then Dorian was gone.

Aelin tried to ignore the blush that fought it's way onto her cheeks as she walked beside Rowan. She had to remind herself that he never talked to anyone and this would only lead to heartbreak but maybe her sense of self preservation was half asleep too because she said, "Going to English?"

Her words were met with silence. She already knew he was going to English. It was one of the many classes they had in common but an answer would have been nice. She tried again, "Ready for the test today, Rowan?"

"Yes," was all he said.

Then Rowan quickened his pace, possibly to lose Aelin in the crowd but she was the uncrowned queen of Terrasen High. While the students parted to make way for Rowan out of fear, they parted for Aelin out of love and admiration.

She made sure to wave and smile at a few of them as she fought to catch up with Rowan's awfully long strides.

The test hadn't even started when they arrived to the class. Their English teacher Gavriel was sitting in his chair, a thick stack of papers on his desk. When he noticed Aelin entering the class with Rowan, her uncle raised an eyebrow. What trouble are you getting into now?

"No trouble," She promised him out loud as Rowan went to take a seat.

She chose to sit directly behind him and started on her test as soon as it was distributed. The test was fairly easy, even though Aelin had to put some extra efforts to recall a few names and places in between, thanks to the sleep deprivation. At one point, she was ready to throw her pen at the nearest wall and go to sleep then and there. She only managed to stay awake throughout with a sheer force of will.

The real trouble arose when she had finished the test. Not having anything else to do, Aelin decided to poke Rowan with her ruler.

He turned around, his pine green eyes brimming with fury and Aelin raised an eyebrow, face carefully blank. "Something I can help you with, sir?"

"Stop," He said in deep, rough and slightly accented voice that sent shivers down her spine before turning around.

Gods, even his voice was beautiful.

Aelin wrote on the back of her answersheet: Your voice is beautiful. Do you sing too? She crumpled the paper into a ball, then kicked it gently towards Rowan, who had also finished writing the test.

He did not answer back. Silence means affirmation, Mr. Whitethorn. Will I have the pleasure of hearing you sing sometime? She threw the note at the back of his head this time, drawing attention from a few students. For all that she loved being the social butterfly, Aelin was not keen of the rumours that came with popularity but she was having too much fun trying to piss Rowan off.

He opened the note, read it, then shoved it into his pocket. Then he turned around and snarled quietly, "Do not fuck with me, princess."

That had to be the most words she had heard him say ever and ignoring the tone with which he had delivered the words, Aelin felt a small amount of giddiness at the term of endearment he had used. Princess, she sighed to herself.

Her smile must have been very apparent because Uncle Gavriel asked, "Something funny, Miss Galathynius?"

"Why, the question paper," She answered with a lazy wave of her hand, "a child could do this, sir. If you want me to take your tests seriously, at least make them a little difficult."

A few students snickered.

Gavriel rolled his eyes, then went back to keeping an eye on everyone. A minute or two passed and Aelin was already dozing off again. She kicked Rowan's chair and someone whispered her name from behind her.

Aedion was hissing at her from two rows over, "Whatever you are doing, stop it. Whitethorn will kill you off."

Whitethorn did indeed look like he wanted to kill her off but God, Aelin had to be in some mood today because she ignored the glares from both the males, flipping her cousin off and went back to kicking at Rowan's chair. His knuckles were tightly gripping his desk as if he was trying not to strangle her and seeing his expression, she didn't doubt for a second that he gladly would.

"Rowan," she called. "Rowan, will you tell me what shampoo you use? Your hair looks so silky!"

He gave her an incredulous look before smoothing his features into a blank expression. She wrote him another note: Please, tell me what shampoo??? Please? Your hair looks so pretty and they smell SO good. His hair did shine beautifully and they even smelt nice but Aelin did it less out of curiosity and more because she was bored and Rowan Whitethorn was her best chance at entertainment.

When he received the note, Rowan's eyes went wide. He growled back at her. "Gods, do you never stop, Aelin?"

Aelin opened her mouth to answer but her uncle beat her to it. "Miss Galathynius and Mr Whitethorn, if you don't stop now, you're going to find yourself in the principal's office."

"Excuse me, sir, but she is bothering me," Rowan said, his cheeks tinged pink.

Aelin gasped dramatically, rising from her seat. She pointed an accusatory finger at the brooding figure in front of her, then said, "Liar, Liar, pants on fire! You were the one insisting we should be friends!"

"Friends?" Rowan scoffed. "The only thing I'm going to be around you is irritated."

Gavriel was making his way towards them and Aelin had no qualms about throwing him under the bus. He hadn't stopped to think before he had accused her of bothering him, had he? Why should she?

Because he was telling the truth. You're not, some sane voice said from the back of her mind.

Aelin did not pay it any attention. "That's not what you were saying out in the hallway when we were flirting!"

Aelin took a huge amount of satisfaction when Rowan's cheeks flushed with colour, the tips of his ears turning a dark red. "Flirting? With you? I'd rather die in a ditch—"

"DETENTION, BOTH OF YOU!" Her uncle bellowed.

Rowan let out a loud growl of protest. Aelin just shrugged, a smug smile on her face as she sat back down.

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

Rowan had never been more pissed. He did not know anyone as insufferable as Aelin Galathynius with her reputation around the school as a heartbreaker, the self-proclaimed princess of Terrasen High. He loathed how hard she laughed sometimes, drawing all attention towards herself. He loathed how her eyes crinkled, the gold rings around the turquoise shining brighter every time she smiled.

She had everyone in the school at her beck and call and it pissed Rowan off.

Even now, she sauntered into detention with a swagger as if there was no other place she would rather be. The class was empty, save for Rowan and a dark haired guy sitting in the back. Aelin noticed him too and raised an eyebrow, "Why, Fenrys darling, what did you do to end up in this hellscape?"

Fenrys had a wry smile playing on his lips. "It's not Hell if you're here, sweetheart."

Right. If Rowan tried hard enough, he could recall a conversation in the locker rooms about the school player, Fenrys Moonbeam leaving some party with Aelin Galathynius, both of them drunk as shit. Fenrys, the quarterback of the football team with his charming smiles and bedroom eyes was the kind of guy Aelin Ashryver Galathynius would date.

Fenrys twisted in his seat to get a better look at the spawn of satan. She gave him an intimate, coy smile—the kind that you only reserve for some select few people. Rowan shifted in his seat, suddenly feeling like an intruder. He coughed loudly. "If you are going to undress each other with your eyes, have the decency to find yourself a room."

Aelin's answering smile was full of fire—wicked, dangerous wildfire. "Jealous, Whitethorn?"

Rowan scoffed, wishing he had the power to make her choke on air with one look. He had to be in some mood today. Thank the three faced goddess that Lorcan was absent today. Rowan knew Lorcan would give him an endless amount of shit if his best friend saw Rowan drive himself insane over childish, insolent, bratty Aelin Galathynius.

At least she and Fenrys were sitting two seats apart now, whispering quietly to each other. When five minutes passed and no teacher entered, Aelin rose from her seat and walked towards the window.

"What are you doing?" Rowan asked, then frowned. Maybe he shouldn't have spoken.

The expression on Aelin's face definitely told him he should not have spoken at all. She was smirking that obnoxious smirk of hers as she drawled out, "Not all of us are obedient little students, Whitethorn. See you around, preferably when you've grown some balls."

Rowan huffed. During his years in high school, he had always thought of Aelin as an arrogant, immature troublemaker. Now he could add rude to that list too.

Fenrys was already standing guard on the door. "Quick, Aelin! Mr Gavriel is going to come our way any minute."

Then Aelin turned, giving him a slow, simpering smile that clearly conveyed her thoughts about what she thought of his insistence to remain in detention. Scared, Whitethorn? And gods damn him, he was scared, not of being caught skipping but what an hour spent with Aelin might do to him. It was the challenge in those turquoises eyes, the taunt hidden behind her smile that had him rising from his seat.

She stepped back, letting him jump out of the window first. He was wondering if he should extend a hand to help or not when she leaped out with a grace he had never known she possessed.

Aelin was grinning, wider than ever and this may be the worst idea he had ever had but Rowan asked, "Where to?"

When the blonde haired girl straightened, shoulders pulled back and confident like a Queen, he decided that even if this was as likely to end in disaster as anything else, Rowan knew he owed it to himself to find out.

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

I am not sure if I should finish this here. If enough people want to read further, I might turn this into a multi chapter fic so feel free to drop your thoughts on that in the comments! Also, if anyone would like to be added to the taglist, please let me know!

Tags:

@thesirenwashere

@judexcardanxgreenbriar

@the-dark-swan

@fangirltrash74

[i-stan-nct-and-satan]

Renjun’s Yandere Type

Trigger warning: It’s yandere, so it’s gonna be abusive

Renjun is the type of yandere who is never fully stops being cold to his s/o even when he is being intimate with them. Despite his intense obsession with you, he isn’t one to show his emotions easily.  

Renjun grew up living with his abusive mother. His mother’s lack of affection caused him to believe that he worthy of love, and her violent nature convinced him that being cared for wasn’t something he deserved. His mother abandoned him when he was 17, but before she left him to fend for himself, she drunkenly told him that people never do anything for anyone else unless they get something out of it. Renjun was still in high school, but he never told anyone that he was living alone without a parent, because he was taught that everyone was out to get him.  

He acted cold and heartless to those around him thinking that any form of kindness shown to him was because his peers were trying to manipulate him. His hateful demeanor and bad reputation caused the other students to avoid him. Some students took it even further, mercilessly bulling Renjun which only reinforced his belief that people were inherently wicked.  

You had met Renjun when you were both 18 years old. You were new at the school and your science teacher, aware of Renjun’s personality, had assigned you two to be lab partners in the hopes that you would become friends. You tried to be kind to him, but he assumed that you were only trying to earn his trust so that you could go make fun of him with whatever new friends you would make that day. He knew you would have no problem making new friends since you were so beautiful. He knew there was no way that you actually would want to be his friend, so he kept his distance, telling you to get lost whenever you tried to talk to him outside of science class.  

That was until one day you were walking down the halls after going to the bathroom during class when you found Renjun being pushed against his locker by the school bully. You tried your best to pull the boy off of him, only for you to be pushed down on the ground. Nevertheless, you got back up kept trying to defend the social outcast. The bully only left you both alone when the bell went off causing kids and teachers to flood into the hallway. You noticed that Renjun had a black eye, but when you tried to take him to the nurse, he pushed you away. “Why would you do that? Now he’s just gonna start doing the same thing to you,” Renjun shouted before running off.  

Renjun regretted being harsh to you. He only acted that way because he was shocked that you helped him despite knowing that you would get hurt in the process. No one had ever showed him that much kindness before. He didn’t understand it. Why did you do that for him? Why were you so different from the others? Why were you so....kind? And even after he had treated you the way he did.  

After that, Renjun paid more attention to you. He realized that you weren’t as popular as he had originally thought. You pretty much kept to yourself, just like he did.  

At first, he didn’t understand why he felt the need to follow you home, why he needed to learn everything he could about you, why he couldn’t stop thinking about you, and then it hit him. He was in love with you.  

He fell in love with your kindness and he vowed to protect you and to make sure that you didn’t fall victim to the cruel world that you both lived in. Despite knowing his feelings for you, he wouldn’t suddenly start acting friendly towards you. Instead, he would leave you small gifts on your desks, like juice boxes, or maybe he would even slash the tires of anyone who acted less than polite around you.

Since Renjun lived alone, kidnapping you and keeping you captive wasn’t difficult. Renjun would be a smart yandere, planning your kidnapping for months, learning your routine so that he can drug you and take you to his home without anyone seeing. He would get a job, making sure to save up enough so that he could support the both of you.  

He’s the type of yandere to acknowledge your lack of feelings for him, but he did everything in his power to get you to love him back, or at the very least, get used to your new lifestyle. Even when you finally started to succumb to Stolkholm syndrome, he would be standoffish, not feeling comfortable cuddling for too long or being able to properly express his feelings towards you, but it is only because he never learned how.

Rejun would try his best not to physically abuse you, like his mother did to him, but when you act out too much for his liking, he would resort to knocking you out through injection and end up tying you up and gagging you like he did when he first brought you to his home.  

“I’m trying my best to protect you so why are you making it so hard for me? Everyone outside that door wants nothing but to destroy the beauty and kindness you radiate. I’m the only one who you can trust. I love you... so please don’t struggle. I just wish you could understand why I do the things I do. Just trust me and be a good girl for me, okay? You’re safe with me and only me.”

[niall-is-my-dream]

I'll Mend Your Broken Heart

6950 words

Is there a sexy way to crawl down the bed to someone? Or do you ever think you look sexy and then realise you probably look like a possessed cat?

You hoped you looked sexy, because Niall sure as hell did.

Standing at the end of his bed stark naked in all his beautiful Irish glory, your mouth was salivating at the sight of him. His gym sessions were really paying off and he was looking toned and thick in all the right places.

Kneeling on all fours in front of him you reached across and took him in your hand. He was already fully hard, clearly your seductive naked crawling had worked.

Looking up at him through your lashes you watched his face as you leaned forward and kitten licked his bright red tip. He let out a sigh and a moan at your teasing, bringing his hand up to move your hair away from your face.

"Baby, stop teasing me." He whispered as he then ran his hands gently down your back, giving it a light scratch. He knew you liked it when he did that. 

Over the past three months you had learnt all the little things that each other liked and could always manage to get each other off in multiple ways.

"Your body is looking amazing." You whispered between little licks.

"Yeah? You been checking me out?"

"Mmmm." You hummed against him.

Leaning on your elbow for support, you used that hand to hold his cock close to your mouth and reached your other hand around to squeeze his bum. 

"Your arse has got tighter too, I love it."

"Well, from this angle your arse looks fucking fantastic." He replied smirking. And he leaned over as much as he could and squeezed your bum with one of his hands.

A little hum from your lips against him, caused him to lightly spank you and you moaned against his tip. When you eventually took him in your mouth, he was full of praise for you. You loved it when his voice became all husky when he was turned on. All rough and rugged as he told you how amazing you were and how good you were taking him. 

A sharp knock on his bedroom door had you pulling away, a look of "Oh fuck" as you sat back on your knees. You grabbed the quilt and wrapped it around you, expecting the person who had knocked to enter, but they didn't.

"Niall? Are you awake?" Willie called out.

"Yeah bud, just heading to the shower. What's up?" He replied.

"Nothing, just letting you know I'm back from Sarah's."

"Ok, I'll shower and be out in a bit."

Willie didn't reply and you assumed he had headed off to his room or something. Niall turned to you a look of relief on his face.

"That was close." He whispered as he got in his bed under the covers with you.

"I honestly thought he was going to walk right in." You whispered back.

"I locked the door last night just in case."

"Oh, I didn't know you'd done that."

"Well, you were quite busy trying to get my jeans undone when we came in here." He replied as he pulled you closer and nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, kissing you sweetly.

 "Hey!" You whisper shouted.

 "What it's true. You missed me while I was away, just admit it."

 "Maybe a little."

"I wonder if he heard me spank your arse?" Niall said with a giggle.

"Oh god, I hope not!" You giggled back.

And this pretty much summed up your relationship with Niall.

Friends for a few years and friends with benefits for the last three months. 

Secret friends with benefits.

Rolling you onto your back, he settled himself in between your legs. His lips explored your neck and jaw as you scratched lightly at his scalp.

"You're going to have to be quiet now." He mumbled against your skin, causing goosebumps to appear. His lips continued exploring down to your breasts and stomach.

"God you're so beautiful." He whispered as he neared your centre.

You loved it when he said stuff like this, knew he wasn't just saying it for the sake of it. Niall was genuine in every way, but you weren't going to lie, his compliments confused you.

 "Niall......"

"Mmmm." He replied as he kissed your inner thigh.

"Ni..all...."

He looked up from between your thighs, a smirk on his face. "You need something darlin?"

"I need you."

"I need you too, darlin." He replied as he crawled back up the length of your body. "All the time."

Hooking his hand behind your knee, he moved your legs apart before lining himself up and slowly sinking inside you. That glorious stretch you felt from him caused you to bite down on your bottom lip. With Willie in the flat and unaware of your arrangement you couldn't be loud.

Niall smiled as he leaned closer to you. Tucking his face in your neck again, he whispered. “Remember you gotta be quiet baby.”

You responded by tilting your hips which pushed him deeper inside you and he growled.

"You’ve gotta be quiet too.“ You smiled back.

He chuckled lightly as he looked you in the eyes, bringing his lips to yours again he kissed you deeply, his hips beginning to move. 

Often people say that the missionary position is boring, but with Niall it was definitely your favourite. You felt so connected to him, his body flush with yours, his chest hair rubbing across your already sensitive nipples. His thrusts were always so precise and he knew exactly what to do to get you to your high.

You both knew that sex this morning would have to be quick, neither of you had expected Willie back so early. But after teasing each other orally for the last 45 minutes you were both desperate for your release.

With the quilt pulled over you both and hiding some of the sounds that you were making, you didn't hold back as he pounded into you. Your heart was racing and your chest heaving as you came hard. You loved the way he kept eye contact with you, watching you as you came. His release came not long after and he dipped his head into your neck and moaned out your name.

You were both a sweaty mess as you pulled the covers from you and he laid down next to you. Struggling to both catch your breath, Niall turned on his side and cuddled up to you, a contented smile on his lips. You laid there in silence for a few minutes, coming back down to earth.

"Come on, lets go shower and then I can sneak out." You said trying to get Niall to stop snuggling up to you and possibly falling asleep.

"Just five more minutes." He replied. You of course agreed.

Willie had been in his room talking on his phone when you left, the door had been closed making it easier to go unnoticed.

Niall had a small inner circle of close friends in London, ones that knew him better than anyone. Along with yourself, four others plus Niall's two cousins, Willie and Deo you made up the circle. Niall had a lot of friends as his job meant he quite often met new people and socialised with people on various levels. However, none of them saw him at home and in an intimate level like you guys did.

And over last few months you'd seen him in a very intimate level. Many many times.

Years of sexual tension had erupted when you were at Glastonbury over the summer. You'd drunkenly collapsed together in the main bedroom of the RV you were renting, and had spent until the early hours of the morning lazily kissing and touching each other. When you'd woken up the next day and with both of you now sober, neither of you mentioned anything about it for the rest of the weekend. A few days after you'd got back though, he had come over to yours and tried to clear the awkwardness. The air was cleared and in fact, you'd ended up in bed together and hadn't been able to stop the encounters since then.

Your close inner circle were oblivious from what you could tell. No one had mentioned it to either of you the morning you emerged from the bedroom together and you had been sneaking around ever since then. Both of you had got out of serious relationships last year, both heartbroken, but what you had now was something between two best friends. No one else needed to know that your emotional and physical needs of intimacy were being met by Niall, and his by you. Them knowing would only complicate the situation.

It had been a few weeks since you'd caught up with your other friends, as you'd had quite a few night shifts. Days were spent sleeping before you'd be back out to work as a police officer with Charing Cross Police. You covered a large area including popular sights like Leicester Square, Covent Garden and down to the Embankment. You'd been a copper for four years now and although it was a risky job especially in the capital, it was also a rewarding job.

Last night everyone had been out at the pub, you'd said you couldn't come as you had a night shift the next night and you'd had a long week. Niall had just flown in from L.A. after doing some promo in the U.S and said he was jet lagged. Knowing the gang were going to hit loads of pubs and that Willie would stay with Sarah at hers, you had gone over to Niall's. He had only been gone two weeks but it had felt longer. You had spent the evening eating take out and watching movies, cuddling on his sofa. It had been really nice to spend one on one time with him like this. Although you'd kissed each other occasionally while you were laying there, it wasn't until later in the evening that you asked him to take you to bed.

He hadn't hesitated in walking you to his room and you had in fact been distracted with trying to open his jeans when he had obviously locked the door.

*******

Work had been busy during the week, some of your colleagues had been stationed at Trafalgar Square patrolling the climate change protests, so you'd had some slack to pick up. You'd done one day there, but had been back in your usual patrol car with your partner Will for the rest of your weeks shifts. You had a few days off now and it was much needed. Being short staffed because of the support the force had provided for the protests had meant that you hadn't eaten well and had gone over 8 hours without even getting to use the loo.

The last call for police response that you and Will had gone to was from social services. They'd had to go and remove a child from a home where the boy aged just 2 and a half lived with his Mum and Dad. The child's Dad was known to you, as he was currently serving time in prison for theft and burglary. His Mum was a known drug user and had spiralled since the boys father was sent down. The conditions in which the child was living was completely indescribable, and once you had left and the child was safely in the hands of the authorities, you had cried in your patrol car with Will. He too shed tears as he was a Dad to three year old twin girls.

Now walking into your flat you were exhausted and completely emotional. You had only just taken off your coat and shoes when the buzz of the doorbell pulled you from your daydream. You opened it up to find Niall stood on the door step.

"Hi Niall."

"Hi, what's wrong?" He asked you, his face which had a smile on it seconds ago was now full of worry.

"Just a really really shitty day." You replied taking a deep breath, trying to stop the tears.

As much as it made your heart fill with butterflies at seeing him at your door, you really weren't in the mood for a booty call. It was like he could sense what you were thinking because as he stepped across the threshold he pulled you to him.

"Come here." He whispered as he held you close to his chest and kissed your temple. 

You hadn't realised how much you needed him to hold you like this until he did. Wrapping your arms around his waist you held back the tears as he whispered that it would be ok and stroked his fingers up and down your back.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked you.

You pulled back and shrugged not knowing if you did or not.

"Have you eaten anything?" He questioned as he took in your appearance.

God you knew you looked like shit, you'd be surprised if he would ever want to hook up with you again after seeing you looking like this. Puffy eyes with dark circles underneath, your skin was pale and you probably didn't smell too good after a 13 hour shift.

"Not since 11am." You said answering his food question.

"Come on, lets get you a bath and some food." He replied taking off his own jacket and shoes.

"Niall..... You don't need to do that."

"I know I don't need to.......I want to." He said sincerely, the line you two were crossing was becoming blurred. Not in a relationship or dating, but definitely more than friends.

He took your hand in his and kissed your knuckles before strolling to your bathroom. Putting the plug in the bath, he turned on the taps to get the water running before turning back to you. 

"Right let's go look in the fridge." He said, as he once again took your hand and walked you around your flat.

"Not much in it." You confessed shyly.

"Jeez, you're not wrong." He replied as he looked in your fridge.

You had milk, butter, cheese, wine and some yoghurt and that was it.

"Right, well let's get you settled in the tub and I'll order in."

Watching Niall looking at the endless bottles of bubbles and bath bombs you had in the bathroom made you smile.

"Honestly love, how many of these do you have?!"

He began chucking some of your coconut bubble bath in and checking to see if the temperature was good.

"Right come on you, get your clothes off and get in."

You hesitated slightly.

"Love, I've seen you naked loads of times. Come on, just want to get you relaxed. Ok?"

You nodded and began taking off your clothes. It felt good to be stripping out of them, your body was aching from the day. Niall took your hand and helped you step into the bath, which was exactly the right temperature. As you sat down Niall handed you a small folded towel to place behind your head to use as a pillow.

"Right." He said as he chucked your dirty clothes into your hamper and sat down on the bathroom floor. "What food shall we get?"

With thai food ordered via his phone, Niall didn't budge from floor, instead he got himself comfy up against the radiator. You chatted easily about trivial stuff for a while before he asked you about your day.

"So, what's happened today that's got you so upset?"

You knew talking about it would help and Niall was ready to listen.

"Had to help social services remove a child from their home this afternoon."

"Oh." He replied sadly. "Are you allowed to talk about it with me?"

"Yeah, I mean you're not going to talk about it with anyone are you?"

"No of course not, you can talk to me about anything and I'll never tell a soul."

"This little boy, Logan is two and a half years old and his Dad is in prison and his Mum is a heavy drug user. She has been taking regular drug tests and she was told if she failed the next one then Logan would be taken away. It didn't stop her from injecting heroin."

"Fuck, so she took it even though he would be taken away if she did?"

"Yep. It's horrible isn't it? To think that she thought drugs were more important than her child. She's an addict though and they don't care, but she has thrown away all the opportunities offered to her to get clean for the sake of her son."

"Where has Logan gone, to grandparents?"

"To emergency foster care while they sort everything out. Don't know anything after that."

"That must have been hard to witness."

"It was, the house was disgusting Niall." You said as your eyes filled with tears.

Niall sat up onto knees and moved towards you. He leaned over the side of the tub and gently reached to wipe away the tears that began to flow down your face.

"It's ok to be upset about what you witness in your job love. It doesn't make you weak or anything. I would've been heartbroken too." 

"He just didn't know what was going on. One of the social workers was holding him, but he didn't even look back at his Mum. She clearly hadn't shown him any love or affection, he didn't look bothered about leaving her. The house was filthy and who knows when she last fed him."

Niall stroked your cheek and moved a strand of hair from your face, looking like he wanted to cry too.

"And we've been so stretched staff wise since we had to help cover the protests that I've been doing longer shifts. And I'm just so tired Niall." You said quietly sobbing.

"As if I didn't worry about you enough when you're at work, you've made me worry even more darlin. You can't have another week like this ok, you've got to talk to me if it's getting too much."

You nodded as he continued caressing your face. His words weighing heavy on you, he was worried about you when you went to work. The doorbell interrupted the moment you were having and brought you back down to earth.

"That'll be the food." Niall said, his face not leaving yours.

Placing a kiss on your forehead, Niall stood up and left the bathroom. You took a few minutes to wash your body before easing yourself out of the bath and wrapping yourself up in a towel.

You ate on your laps on the sofa in the living room, sitting facing each other instead of facing the tv that was showing sky sports news, courtesy of Niall.

"So, what brings you to my flat at 8:30 on a Friday night Niall James?" You asked him, a smile appearing on your face for the first time in over six hours.

"Can I be honest?" He asked you.

"I always want you to be honest." You replied, and you meant it, although you were worried about what he was going to say.

"I really wanted to see you." He confessed.

"You did." You said raising your eyebrows at him.

"Not for that!"

"I never said anything!"

"I know what you thought. I've had a pretty shit week to, not like yours obviously, but I selfishly needed this." He said gesturing between you both.

"I'm not sure if I'll be decent company tonight but I'm glad you're here."

He smiled shyly at you and you both looked down towards your food.

"So why was your day shitty then?" You asked him.

 Niall told you about his fears for the album, he had been in meetings all day and it was all hitting home that it was finally happening. Both of you felt better after your talk. Cuddling on the sofa that night, you felt relaxed and safe in each others arms. With the low lighting and a soothing lavender candle burning it wasn't long before you fell asleep.

When you woke up the next morning you felt quite refreshed, you had slept so well and you knew why. Niall was cuddled up into your side, his arm across your stomach. His breathing was low and you knew he was still in a deep sleep. He had woken you from your nap on the sofa last night and made you get into bed. You went to ask him to stay but the words never left your mouth as you saw he was already stripping off ready to join you.

Managing to ease yourself out of bed without waking him, you went into the kitchen to make a coffee. Flicking on the kettle you then went into the bathroom to grab the laundry hamper. It was when you were leaning down to put some washing in the machine that you heard a wolf whistle.

"Morning darlin."

"Good morning, enjoy your view did you?!" You said, but paused when you saw he was shirtless.

"I'll admit, I am very happy to be waking up to that."

"Niall........"

"What?" He replied as he reached across to you.

You happily let him pull you to him, thoroughly enjoying the feeling of his chest hair in your fingers. 

"Just want a cuddle." He said leaning in to kiss you softly on the lips. 

Niall left just before midday as he had tickets to a Chelsea football match that he needed to get to. With kick off being 3pm, he needed to go and get changed before heading out with the boys. You had the girls coming over at 7pm tonight for a girly wine night. 

You had thought of cancelling when you were on your way home from work last night. But now that Niall had come over and he had listened to you talk about the awful things you had seen yesterday afternoon at work, you felt much better. You had also had a really good night sleep cuddled up with him and as much as you had enjoyed it, it worried you.

You and Niall were friends with benefits, that was all. You had even discussed what he was going to say to Willie about where he had been last night. The lying to your friends was still going to continue. And that was hard, particularly when that evening the girls started talking about it.

"So Niall came strolling back to his at lunchtime today wearing last night's clothes! " Sarah exclaimed minutes after sitting on your sofa with her wine glass in her hand.

"Really?!" Said Helen.

"Yep. Came up with some lame excuse about kipping at a friend's and then went into his room to get changed."

"Weird." You replied calmly trying to join in the conversation. In reality you weren't calm at all.

Your palms felt sweaty and you were trying to not break eye contact in case it gave you away.

"Yeah Willie said he's been really happy the last few months, like super happy. He thinks he's definitely seeing someone. I mean why would he hide it from us though?"

"Maybe he thinks we wouldn't approve?" Helen asked.

You nodded along to what the girls were saying but didn't make any comments. The conversation soon turned to plans for your birthday in a few weeks time and you breathed a sigh of relief.

A few weeks past and you and Niall continued to sneak around behind your friends back. If you were honest it was actually kind of a thrill. Sometimes if you popped over to his when you knew Willie was due back within the hour, you'd have fast and rough sex somewhere in his flat. Every room but Willie's bedroom had seen some action. One thing about being such close friends was that you weren't embarrassed to try things with each other and experiment with new positions. Niall had even laid you in the middle of his dining table and fucked you. Sitting at that very table a week later having take away with your friends was hilarious, as Niall couldn't stop winking and smirking at you. You had obviously cleaned it after your sexual antics.

Sex with Niall was getting better the more your feelings evolved for him, but you hadn't even remotely discussed anything apart from keeping it quiet from your friends. There were unsaid words between you both about how much of a great thing you'd got going on here. When you had first started sleeping together it was maybe once a week and you never stayed the night. But recently it had been at least three times a week and would've been more if your work schedules synced better. You always stayed the night with each other now and there had been lots of cuddling and affection happening to.

It was beginning to feel like you were in a relationship, and you were scared to bring it up in conversation. What if you had read the signs wrong? What if he was being affectionate because he wanted to keep this casual sex going?

You almost gave away your secret though a week after that take away night at Niall's. Having been to the gym with Helen for a spinning class, you had invited her in for a cuppa and a catch up. Spinning on a bike for 45 minutes wasn't exactly the best time to chat to her.

As you stood in the kitchen that evening making the tea, your door buzzer went. You weren't expecting anyone this evening you thought. But the colour drained from your face when you realised it could be Niall.

"I'll get it!" Helen said as she jumped off the kitchen stool before you could react.

Shit.

"Oh hi Niall, what are you doing here?" She said as she let him in and shut the door.

You couldn't turn around from where you were stood, your heart was racing at what Helen would think about Niall turning up at yours so late in the evening.

"Was just passing and thought I'd see if Zoe was in. Said I'd get Lewis Capaldi to sign her vinyl album for her, and I'm seeing him tomorrow so...... "

"That will be cool, she's just in the kitchen making tea. Do you want a cuppa?"

"Coffee, if you both don't mind. Don't want to interupt."

You could hear Helen telling him he wasn't interrupting and then enter the kitchen, you turned around and offered him a greeting.

"You alright Niall?" You asked smiling sweetly, but feeling like you wanted to throw up. He had come up with that lie so easily. Years of media training will do that for you though you thought.

"Yeah, am seeing Lewis tomorrow and as I was nearby I thought I'd grab that vinyl for him to sign."

"That would be fab, I'd forgotten about that. Thanks!"

"No problem love. What have you two been up to this evening?" He asked.

He had text you today and you had told him you were going to spinning class tonight with Helen. He obviously was trying to surprise you and had not been anticipating that you would invite her in for a drink.

"Been spinning, 45 minutes and it was bloody hard work." Helen replied laughing.

You handed Helen her cuppa but she placed it on the counter and excused herself to the loo. When Niall heard the door click shut and lock he moved closer to you.

"I'm sorry I was trying to surprise you." He whispered.

"Don't worry, she brought the whole vinyl thing."

"Well actually that was the truth but I also wanted to see you, missed you."

"I've missed you too." You replied.

Reaching your hand around to the nape of his neck, you brought him closer to you and kissed him gently. His hands soon found their way around your back and down towards your bum which he gave a little squeeze. You smiled against his mouth just as you heard the bathroom door unlock and you quickly moved away from him. Helen walked in just as you were passing Niall his coffee.

Your birthday weekend was approaching and Willie and Niall offered to have a party at theirs to celebrate. Just the usual inner circle of friends, some food and alcohol, maybe a cake.

With a week booked off work to recharge and chill, you had no real plans apart from a hair cut. Niall however had other ideas.

"Willie is away with work Tuesday and Wednesday night. Do you maybe wanna stay at mine while he is away and I can cook you an early birthday dinner? Maybe breakfast in bed? ; )"

That was the message you had found when you had checked your phone after your last shift at work on Sunday night. A smile spread across your face at the thought of being with Niall in his massive king sized bed for two nights.

"Sounds perfect. What time do you want me?"

It wasn't long after you sent that message that he replied.

"Well he leaves at 8 on Tuesday morning so anytime after that. The earlier the better. Want to give you lots of birthday loving!"

"Oh really?!"

"Yeah, it's been rubbish not seeing you this week."

Niall had been doing some promo around the UK so hadn't been home for a lot of the last week and was currently staying away tonight in Manchester.

"I'll come over early don't worry."

"Good can't wait to see you, have missed you."

There were the butterflies again, it was becoming so difficult not to read too much into the things he said.

"Missed you too."

With plans to get to Niall's early you had your mini suitcase packed on Monday night. You had even been out shopping to purchase some underwear and toys from Ann Summers to try out. What you hadn't expected was for Sarah to call in on her way home from work to drop in some books for you to borrow. She had mentioned maybe bringing them at some point his week.

"Are you going away?" She asked upon spotting the suitcase. Luckily the Ann Summers items were hidden within it.

"Yeah, just to my parents for a few days." You replied, chuffed at how quickly you had lied.

"Ah nice. You'll be back for your birthday party Saturday won't you?" She asked.

"Of course, I'm only going for a few days."

"Good because Willie said Niall has organised the whole thing and he said it's going to be awesome."

"Oh has he? I hope he hasn't gone to too much trouble."

"Don't be silly, Niall would do anything for you, you know he fancies the pants off you." She replied as if what she said was nothing.

"What??!!!" You said almost choking. "No, he doesn't!"

"Yeah he does, it's so obvious." She said shrugging her shoulders.

"You talk such shit Sarah!" You replied shaking your head, dismissing her claims and hoping she couldn't see the blush on your face.

"Whatever you know it's true and you know you'd love to jump on board, he's looking ripped at the moment."

"Sarah!"

"Oh come on?! You know its true. Anyway I need to go, I have to meet my over bearing mother for dinner. Have a good few days with your parents."

"Thanks I will, enjoy your dinner."

You hugged her goodbye and closed the door, shell shocked by what she had said. Did your friends really think he fancied you?

Niall had text you early Tuesday morning to let you know that Willie had gone to work with his suitcase behind him, ready for his work trip. Deciding to avoid the 9am traffic, you got to his a little after 10.

"Baby what took you so long?" He asked you as he lifted you up, wrapping your legs around him.

"I didn't want to hit the morning traffic. What's the emergency?" You replied running your fingers through his messy bed hair.

"My morning hard on is the emergency." He said with a straight face.

You laughed at his confession and buried your face in his neck.

"It's not funny, woke up thinking about you. Need you so much darlin."

"Well I am part of the emergency services team." You replied in reference to being a police officer.

"Oh god please tell me you brought a uniform and some handcuffs with you?!"

"No, but I did bring some other things to use." You said with a wink.

You laid under the crisp white quilt in Niall's king size bed a little later on, just quietly looking at each other. His hair was a mess from where you had been pulling and tugging at it during a pretty naughty session, his face was flushed from his orgasm. In that moment you realised you couldn't imagine being anywhere else. The thought not only scared you but excited you, and you took a deep breath and let out a sigh.

"That was a big sigh darlin, what was that for?" He said smiling.

"No reason, just content and happy to be lying here with you."

He nodded in reply before saying.

"So, I have a question."

"Yeah?" You replied and he paused for a second taking in the expression on your face.

"Would you be content and happy if we could spend more days and nights like this? Maybe not keeping it a secret from everyone?"

The thought had crossed your mind many times and you of course wanted that. But you didn't want to scare him off by being too eager, so you paused for a second to, taking the time to work out how to answer him.

"Is that something that you have been thinking about wanting then, being together properly?" You asked him. His face had been unreadable and you needed this confirmation before you answered his original question.

"Well, I mean......yeah.......we're good together. I feel like we have some sort of pull to each other, you know?"

"A sort of connection with one another?"

"Yeah, the last five months have been amazing and I've found myself thinking about you all the time. I want to text you randomly just to see how you are. I've been worrying more and more when you're at work and I don't know.... I just feel like this is something special that we have."

"I feel the same way." You finally admitted.

Everything felt like it was slotting into place at his confession of his feelings. He leaned over and kissed you, his hand coming up to cradle your face. Pulling back slightly he rubbed his nose with yours a massive smile on his face.

"So does that mean that maybe we can tell everyone that we are seeing each other properly? No more sneaking around?"

"I think so. They are going to freak out!" You laughed, rolling onto your back.

"I know! Willie is already convinced that I'm seeing someone secretly." Niall confessed.

"I know, the girls told me. And Sarah said everyone thinks you fancy me."

"Well, she's not wrong!" He said laughing.

"She also accused me of wanting to 'jump on board'!"

"Did you not tell her you'd already done that numerous times?!"

"Niall!"

"What, you have haven't you?" He replied and he rolled you towards him, pulling your leg up so it hitched over his thighs.

You moved the rest of the way and straddled his lap. Moving back down his thighs, you took his semi in your hand and began stroking him slowly back and forth.

"Just so you know you are free to climb on board anytime you like." He mumbled clearly enjoying the way you were working his cock, it getting harder in your hand with every touch.

******

The following few days with Niall were some of your best. After deciding to end the five months of friends with benefits thing, you had cemented your relationship with each other. The phrase girlfriend had you grinning like a Cheshire cat and you had been reluctant to leave him Thursday afternoon, but with Willie due back soon you needed to get home. On the last evening at Niall's you had hatched a plan to announce what was happening between you both to your friends.

The plan was pretty simple.

Niall and yourself would act like you were together and see if anyone noticed. Both of you weren't particularly into PDA but you thought it would be funny. You couldn't wait to see their faces, they had literally no clue what had been happening between you both this whole time.

When you arrived you saw that the flat had been decorated with balloons and banners. The dining table had snacks laid out and a gorgeous three tiered chocolate birthday cake stood in the middle. It looked amazing and you couldn't believe the trouble that Niall had gone to.

Throwing your arms around his shoulders, you snuggled into his neck, whispering how great everything looked. This was noticed by Willie who raised his eyebrows at you. You smiled and shrugged at his questioning look, his response was to nod his head like he already knew what was happening.

With the drinks flowing and Deo's party playlist blaring, you sat down at the end of the table to open some presents. Sarah had got you a voucher for a spa day, Deo did his usual of perfume as he knew that was a winner with all of you girls.

When it came to opening Niall's present, he handed you a small gift box.

"Oi pop star! That's a small present isn't it?!" Gilly called out from the other end of the table.

"Fuck off! It's better than your present!" He replied in reference to the thick knitted purple scarf, hat and gloves set that Gilly had got you. You were actually really pleased with the set, it was your favourite colour and would look great this winter.

You looked across at Niall, wondering if his face would give anything away as to what was in the box, he just smiled and gestured to you to open it.

As you lifted the lid you saw an envelope sitting on pink tissue paper.

"It better be more than a lowsy card!" Deo laughed.

If you were honest, you weren't really a person who cared about expensive gifts or possessions. And if you were honest you didn't expect to see tickets to New York in the envelope.

Your eyes whipped across to Niall who was seated next to you.

"Niall, are you serious?!"

"Yep! Did you see the date on them?"

You hadn't realised there was a date, but it said Sunday 29th December to Friday 3rd January. New year's, in New York, with Niall.

"What is it then?" Sarah asked not being able to see the card from where she was sitting.

Deo who was sitting on your other side looked across and muttered something you couldn't hear properly. You couldn't take your eyes off Niall at this point, his eyes were bright and his smile wide.

"I thought since you're working over Christmas but are off new year, we could spend it together in New York."

"New York together?! Wait what?!" Helen said loudly, scaring Willie who had taken a sip of his beer.

"This is amazing, thankyou babe." You replied reaching your hand to the nape of his neck, pulling him to you for a kiss.

You could hear Deo shouting "Oi Oi, what the fuck is going on here then?!"

Helen was still saying "Wait what?!"

Willie was saying "he knew it."

"How long has this been going on for?!" Sarah asked a look of shock and excitement on her face.

"Um about five months." Niall admitted.

"What have I missed?" Conor asked as he walked back into the dining area having just popped to the loo.

"These two have been shagging for five months and we are only just finding out!" Deo told him.

"Deo! Rephrase that please!" You replied.

"Five months.......five months...... Oh so from when you two were at it in the bedroom of that RV we rented at Glastonbury?" Connor said.

"Since then?!" Helen said loudly.

"And why didn't you tell us?" Sarah said smiling. "And what do you mean you knew it?" She added as she turned to Willie.

"I thought I heard Zoe's voice once from Niall's room, and I've seen her leaving as I've been coming home a few times."

"Why didn't you tell me?!" Sarah asked her boyfriend.

"Well they obviously didn't want anyone to know so...." He replied as she punched him in the arm, causing him to wince.

"No wonder you made such a fuss about her party!" Deo said. "We thought it was just because you fancied her, but now we know it's because you want to get some good loving later!"

"Deo!" Helen shouted at him. "Don't lower the tone, we are witnessing a romantic moment between these two."

You were still leaning towards Niall, his arm around your shoulders. With a quick squeeze of his thigh, you caught his attention away from the group and kissed him again.

"Ok, ok, just because we know about it now doesn't mean we want to see all this smooching!" Deo laughed, flapping his arms around like a loon.

You laughed against Niall's lips as you thought about how great this birthday was.

[drethanramslay]

Hand that you hold

Pairing: Kamilah x MC (Dakota Rivers)

Summary: Marriage is a beautiful union of two souls. When two people whose soul's sing for each other, it's then you know that that person is worth keeping around.

Word count: 3.4 K words

Warning: NONE. Its pretty much fluff and a bit of swearing

Masterlist

Taglist: @miyakokurono @trappedinfandoms @vampiregirlsblog (lemme know if you want to be tagged)

Song: Hand that you hold by Dan Owen

Forgive me for any mistakes 🥺

"I swear on my fangs Justin, if there is even a decoration out of place, it's your ass on the line." Dakota spoke into the phone with a cool voice. Lindsay was going around her like a mother hen, making the final alterations to her wedding dress.

Today was the day and things were already going berserk.

"Ummm I don't know what are you talking about...?" Justin Mercado spoke, with a tremble in his voice.

"Oh really? So whose employee was the one who flipped a fucking table in her blind rage, hmm? And I had asked you to leave the cobblestone path alone, but some dumbass on your team went ahead and put roses. ROSES?! That's so damn cliche and I specifically asked for non cliche and unique things. What had I asked for?"

"Non cliche and unique. We are already cleaning that up." Justin audibly gulped.

"When I had last come down, the fairy lights were not up and the podium where I am supposed to get married, does not have the flower arch up yet?! It's six in the fucking evening, the moment the sun sets people are going to start coming. The greenhouse doesn't have the floating lights yet. Just because we are supernaturals and have heightened senses doesn't mean we to drink and socialize in the dark!!"

"Yes ma'am we are almo-" Justin began but Dakota cut her off.

"When I asked for your services, I was promised the best. The only thing I am getting best is problems.... and an amazing wedding dress."

Lindsay blushed as she looked down at her feet. Dakota gave her a small encouraging smile.

"Ma'am that was a...a honest mistake. The decorations are all set, the tables have the pastel flower basket centre pieces. The food caterer reached and have started plating the appetizers. The bar is open and well stocked with blood and alcohol. We are good to go for your first guest."

"Good. I want this day to be perfect for my wife. For the love of the moon, if anything else goes wrong, I will skin your hide and make a carpet out if it. Got it?" Dakota threatened him. She hung up the phone and Lily snickered in the background.

"God Dakota you are such a bridezilla." Dakota just sighed, "I just...want it to be perfect. Agreed it's a small and intimate ceremony but still."

"It's gonna be lit af. The talk of the century. So don't worry. You just worry on sitting still and looking pretty." Lily said as she went into the adjacent bathroom to change.

Dakota sighed, for what seemed as the millionth time, as she turned towards the mirror to see herself. The person in the reflection had the same grey eyes and pale skin. But, she looked gorgeous. Almost like a different person.

She had decided to throw the traditional white wedding dress out of the window and went for something more unique, just like their love. She had opted for a baby blue wedding dress with layers of chiffon, making it look like ballroom gown. It was sleeveless but the neck of the gown extended till her midriff.

God Kami is going to lose her mind... Dakota thought, smiling slyly.

There were pastel colour flowers embroidered into the net like material which made her look like a blossoming flower. Just like after a long harsh winter, spring comes, causing the flowers to bloom, similarly, after three grueling years of fighting off the bad guys and loosing so many people, they finally have happiness and peace.

And there is no other way she would like to commemorate this happy occasion.

Her blonde hair had been tied into a low bun, stubborn strands of hair escaping it. Lindsay helped her put on the blue stone 'ridiculous' tiara, which Kamilah had bought her after the harrowing fiasco.

Dakota smiled to herself as she wore it, reminiscing the day in the empty jewelry store. "I'm such a pretty, pretty princess, dammit." Dakota spoke, from her memory.

"Yes that you are, Ms. Rivers. I must say that you are one of the most prettiest brides I have ever seen. The henna tattoos on your hands are just making you look so unique...IN A GOOD WAY." Lindsay spoke, as she flushed.

Dakota looked down at the henna designs on her hand. She wanted to respect Kamilah's Egyptian heritage so they both got henna tattoos on their hands just two days before the marriage. As they got them done, they laughed and swapped stories.

It was such a pleasant experience.

"Thank you so much Lindsay, this wedding dress is just perfect. Wouldn't have been possible without your hard work." Dakota said earnestly as she squeezed her hands, as a sign of gratitude.

Lindsay flushed and dipped her head and walked out of the dressing room. Dakota sat down near the large mirror and checked her make up. She was just finishing up her touch ups when Lily stepped out of the bathroom in a black suit. She was wearing formal trousers and a blazer, which showed the valley of her breasts. She had paired this with a golden pendant, which went till her midriff. She finished of her look with a pair of black stilettos.

"Damn Lily, you looking hot." Dakota told her.

Lily smiled and she walked to the mirror and placed her hands on Dakota's shoulder. "You are looking so gorgeous.... I am so, so happy for you. You deserve all the happiness in the world."

Dakota reached and held her best friends hand, unable to say anything because of the intense emotions she was feeling.

"I just wish Jax was here..." Dakota said as tears pooled on the corner of her eyes.

Lily sighed. "I bet he has got first row seats to this function. Being the boomer he is, he would end up coming an hour earlier than the starting time!!"

Both of them laughed out loud, making the sad atmosphere, a little lighter.

"C'mon girl. Let's gets you on the podium so that you can watch your sexy wife walk down the aisle."

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Justin had not screwed up.

Which was a huge relief.

Kamilah and Dakota had decided that they would have the ceremony in a private garden. Nothing to big. Dakota had made several mood boards about the way she wanted to decorate the garden and the adjacent greenhouse.

The greenhouse would be the place where food, drinks and the reception would be held.

The greenhouse was like a magical place of its own. It was a mix of glass and wood which complemented each other perfectly. Green vines hung from the roof, over the tables. The hanging lights amidst them made it look enchanted. The tables were covered with simple white tablecloths but the center pieces along with the tealight candles, really made the entire venue colorful.

The party favours had been placed on each chair. Kamilah decided to order baklava and give it out as party favours. Dakota hundred percent agreed because she may or may not have had a box or two of those sweet, sinful delights.

Everything looked perfect.

The guests were already present when she came down to the greenhouse. They were laughing, drinking and mingling. When she entered the place everyone stopped their conversation and turned to look at her. Even though she was one of the most powerful vampires of their time, the person who slayed Rheya, the goddess, she still felt so awkward when everyone's eyes were on her.

Dakota shyly waved before speaking, "Hey guys! Thank you so much for coming. The appetizers are being distributed and the bar is open. We will be starting the ceremony in half an hour."

Nikhil was the first one to come up to her. "Ah Miss Dakota! You look as ethereal as a fairy. I'm in awe."

"Thank you so much for your kind words Nikhil. I must thank you for helping in finding the venue."

"It was my utmost pleasure Miss. Go on, greet your other guests. If you need any help, I am at your beck and call."

Smiling Dakota headed to meet the other vamps. Serafine had donned a beautiful evening gown. Adrian was standing there with a drink in his hand, wearing a black tux. When she reached them, they stopped their conversation and turned to greet her.

"Hey Sera! Hey Senator Adrian." Dakota said with a teasing smile. Adrian groaned while Serafine let out an elegant laugh. "Oh my love, you look so gorgeous. Kamilah is indeed a lucky woman to have met you." Serafine said as she hugged Dakota, and kissed her cheeks.

"Thank you for coming. I know you were busy with the opening of your nightclub." Serafine just waved her hand. "Ah those things come and go. But seeing Kamilah settle down, never. Couldn't miss it for the life of it."

"Kamilah was saying that you managed most of the decorations. Must say that they look beautiful." Adrian complemented her. "Thank you Adrian. Can't say it was easy. I may or may not have threatened four people today." They laughed and Adrian checked the time in his watch.

"Gotta go and check on Kamilah. I hope she doesn't have a breakdown. It wasn't fun the last time." Adrian grumbled as he gave Dakota a side hug.

Dakota then headed to the New Orleans gang who were laughing loudly. "Hey Cal, Krom, Ivy."

"EEEEE!! Thank you for inviting me. I may be dead but all these cute ceremonies almost make me feel alive." Ivy said as she hugged Dakota.

Krom groaned. "Can you go one day without the death jokes?"

"Over my dead body." Ivy shot back.

Krom just threw his huge hands up with defeat. "I can't win. I give up."

"Congrats Dakota! Still can't thank you enough for helping me escape from the weirdo's place." Cal said as he shook her hands.

"Cal... We sang karaoke together. I think we are past the 'thank you stage'."

"Oh. My. God. Cal you did karaoke?!" The petite girl with ombre hair beside him squealed. Cal started cursing under his breath. "Yeah babe. It was before we met."

"Can you please send the video to me? Also how rude of me. I am Alex Reyez-Elrich." She extended her hand and Dakota shook it.

"Wait, are you the heir of lord Elrich? I have heard so much about you!! Shit, should I call you 'lady' or 'duchess'?"

Alex let out a laugh. "Don't worry Dakota. Lady is the title they use for my step mom. And, I could say the same about you!! I can feel the power in your veins. And I have read about how you revolutionized the entire vampire- human coexistence. I'm impressed."

"Thank you for coming. By the way, where is Garrus?"

"Behind the bar obvio. You can talk to him later. It's time." Ivy said as she took a sip of her whiskey on rocks.

It's time for my wedding. Dakota smiled at that thought.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Kamilah if you continue pacing around the room I swear I will put your ass on the ground." Adrian groaned.

"You wouldn't stand a chance against me." Kamilah shot back.

Kamilah sighed as she sat down near the dressing table, staring at her reflection. She had decided to wear a suit instead of the usual gown. It was porcelain white, and it fit her perfectly. There were occasional patches of embroidery on the blazer which made it look so elegant. Her hair had been left open, looking glossy underneath the yellow tinted lights. Her lips were painted red and she had put minimal make up. She was wearing her brother's pendant. She reached to touch it, wishing that he was watching over her from heaven.

Henna tattoos designed her hands and she smiled looking down at them. She would have been happy even if they got married in a courthouse, but she appreciated the gesture. Dakota was so incessant to follow the ritual and she just couldn't say no to that beautiful face.

Letting out a breath she didn’t know she was holding, she wore the white stilettos and stood up.

"Last chance to escape. Tell me and I will be your getaway driver." Adrian teased.

"Shut up Raines. It's not helping."

Adrian laughed before he clasped her shoulder. "Kamilah you deserve a happy ending. Dakota is perfect for you and I can see how much she loves you. You don't have to doubt her or her love for you."

"I'm just so nervous.." Kamilah wiped her palms on her trouser pants.

"And that's totally normal. I remember when I married my wife, I was so scared that I jumbled up the vows!!" Adrian laughed.

"If this is your way of comforting me, please shut up at this instant." Kamilah said as she picked up her bouquet of wild flowers, tied with a blue ribbon.

He offered his arm to her and Kamilah grabbed it and walked out.

"Thank you brother...for everything."

Adrian smiled and squeezed her arm. "Let's go and get you a wife."

I'm getting married to the love of my life, my habibti. Kamilah thought as a beautiful smile stretched on her face.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Fuck." Dakota breathed out as she saw the fairy lights darken again. "Goddammit! Justin get your ass right her-"

Dakota was cut off as Alex tapped her shoulder, in the dark.

"Dakota, if you don't mind... I can help with your light setting. I don't see it getting better anytime soon."

"Thank you so much Alex. I owe you a bottle of wine after this."

"Mention not." Alex whispered under her breath and rubbed her fingers together and snapped. A ball of yellow light started growing on her palm. It kept on growing until it was the size of a basket ball. Dakota was in awe.

Alex threw her hands up into the air and clapped, resulting in the giant glowing ball to rise in the air and split into its smaller counterparts. Alex waved her hands and the the small light balls spread all over the garden and gazebo, illuminating it in a soft yellow light.

"Yeah that should do it." Alex said as she winked at Dakota.

"Damn girl..." Lily breathed out before regaining her composure and clapping to get the attention of the guests.

"Hey people! Please sit your asses down, we have to get my girl married on time." People took their places and Dakota climbed up the steps of the gazebo.

The cobblestone path led to the gazebo. There were white chairs on either side of it which were slowly being filled by the guests. The gazebo had a teal blue roof which was supported by the white wooden pillars. There were intricate designs on the railing. The entrance of the gazebo had a beautiful flower arch, decorated with pink and white wildflowers.

Everything finally came together.

The Wedding March played and Dakota stood straighter, clutching her bouquet of flowers, to hide how her hands were trembling. She was so nervous. Her heart was racing and she could feel sweat on the back of her neck. She let out a breath, to dissipate her nervousness.

Her eyes landed on the aisle and when she saw Kamilah, all the breath in her body vanished.

Kamilah was walking with her head held high. She was clutching the bouquet and held Adrian's arm. She looked at the gazebo and she was in a trans.

It wasn't Adrian who was holding her, but the grey eyes that tethered her to this world. Reminding her that this was real. She felt like she was floating in a sea of euphoria, but the woman in front of her anchored her. Even if a nuclear missile were to fall out if the sky, or a unicorn was to show up here, she still wouldn't be able to take her eyes off Dakota.

Her love. Her baby. Her habibti.

It was the same thing for Dakota. Time seemed to slow down, people began to vanish until it was just Kamilah and her. Tears welled up in her eyes, by the sheer beauty of this moment. She knew, that this would be the one moment she would never ever forget till the end of time. How her Kami walked down the aisle to her.

Her soulmate. Her rock. Her Queen.

Adrian handed Kamilah to Dakota and patted her shoulder. "Take care of my sister Dakota. Congratulations." Dakota dipped her head. Kamilah reached the podium, and Dakota could see tears pooling in Kamilah's eyes. "Why are you crying?" Dakota joked through her tears.

"The same reason you are habibti." Kamilah answered, with a bright smile that illuminated the entire room. Dakota giggled and reached for Kamilah's hand. They held hands and turned towards the priest.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here this evening to witness the beautiful union of these women in holy matrimony. Please sit down." The priest said and the guests sat down.

"If you have your vows written, please tell them."

Dakota turned towards Kamilah and started saying her vows. "Kamilah, before you my life was empty. I never really cared about love, but now, here I am, with you. I see these vows not as promises but as privileges: I get to laugh with you and cry with you, care for you and share with you. I get to run with you and walk with you, build with you, and live with you.

"I’ve seen your kindness and your strength. I’ve seen you patient and frayed. We have been through everything. Through thick and thin. And I know, what a great team we make. Together we are so strong and exquisite."

"You are my favorite person, and I choose you to be my partner in all of eternity. I vow to take you as my wife. Let's be awesome together, even when the world isn't so awesome at times. My heart is yours. Forevermore."

Kamilah took a deep breath, as tears of joy rolled down her face. Smiling, she began her vows. "Love...was something that I never understood. It was a question unanswered. Though I have been with different men and women, deep down I knew, that it was not love. I didn't fall in love with you. I walked into love with you, with my eyes wide open, choosing to take every step along the way."

"I want nothing more than to share my future with you—my triumphs and my challenges, my joys and my sorrows. Together, I know we can accomplish the life we both dream of living. You are beautiful inside and out. You warm my heart and make me soar. You are my queen, and now my forever best friend."

"You are my first, my last, my everything. You are mine until the end of time, and I am yours for as long as you'll have me."

Dakota was crying. Her heart was bursting with overwhelming love for the Egyptian grace in front of her.

Lula, the ring bearer got the rings. Kamilah slipped the elegant diamond ring on to Dakota's ring finger. Dakota slipped a dainty platinum ring with diamonds on it into Kamilah's ring finger.

The priest continued. " If anyone objects this marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace."

Dakota gave a hard glare to the guests, daring someone to say something. The power emanating from her veins was so strong, that Kamilah's eyes widened and the priest shivered. The guests looked as if they were going to suffocate.

Silence.

Dakota rolled in the power, reducing the intensity so that the priest could speak without wetting his pants.

"Do you, Kamilah Sayeed take Dakota Rivers as your wife?"

"I do."

"Do you, Dakota Rivers take Kamilah Sayeed to be your wife?"

"I super do."

"With the power vested in me by the state of New York, I now pronounce you wife and wife. You may seal this union with a kiss."

Kamilah bent down and kissed Dakota chastely. Dakota wrapped her hands around Kamilah's waist and hugged her. It felt as if fireworks were going off in her heart and the feeling of her wife, in her arms was such an amazing feeling.

My wife...never going to get old of that. Kamilah though as she kissed Dakota under the starry night, a promise that she was going to stand by her wife’s side forever and always.

I think my heart melted. UWU

lowkey sad that bloodbound ended but hey! we got to marry her :))

like, reblog and let me know how you liked the one shot :))

[hqprotectionsquad]

A Long Night (Daichi x Reader)

Title: A Long Night Ship: Daichi x Reader, w/ a little bit of SugaKiyo Word Count: 2,887 Summary: To celebrate your college graduation, you head out to the club with your best friend, Kiyoko Shimizu. Little did you know that a little Cupid would be setting you up with his best friend. A/N: cross posted from my Wattpad! i’d love to create a second part to this eventually! also, implied nsfw, but there is none actually written!

Your eyes squint open and it feels like the world is breaking daylight. Wait a minute, the birds are chirping, the sun is out...the sun is out?!

"What the heck," you mutter to yourself. "I guess I drank too much last night." It was a bit of a rager last night, something resembling a party you've been to while you attended high school in the United States. Ever since you've moved back to Japan for your university years, the social scene has calmed down but after finishing your last semester ever, you needed to get lose and have some fun.

Squishing your head back into the pillow, you replay all of last night's events, at least to the best of your ability.

"Holy hell!" You exclaim, appearing at the doorway of the newest club that popped up a month prior. It sits on the edge of the college town you reside in and since your final exams are now a thing of the past, you and your friends plan to celebrate like there is no tomorrow. "This place is huge!"

"I know right!" Shimizu-chan replies. While you and Shimizu-chan arrive together, her friends will join you at the club. You haven't met them yet, but she assures you that they are great people considering they all graduated from the same high school. While you wear a thigh-high dress, she opts for a jumpsuit because she claims it's more comfortable for dancing. To each their own, you suppose.

You hunt for a table, which is nearly impossible due to the fact that everyone and their extended group of friends is packed into this place. "Shimizu-chan, it'll take forever to find a table!" You exclaim with a laugh but when you turn around, you just see a crowd on the dance floor and she's not right behind you. The glaring strobe lights attack in every corner and are the worst when you're just trying to find your best friend. "Shimizu-chan!" You yell into your immediate area but it's like you're just yelling into an abyss. There's no use.

But hooray! A table just freed up and as a true friend, you rush toward the area before anyone else can take it. When you settle into the plush booth, you call Shimizu on your phone. "Hello? Shimizu-chan, where did you go? I turned around and you weren't there anymore."

"Sorry, (Y/N)-chan. My high school friends told me they arrived. I'm at the doorway right now." Shimizu's voice barely makes it through your speaker between the volume in your ears and in the phone. "Did you end up finding a table?"

"I did! I'm right by the back left corner, but your right side," you inform her.

When the whole group arrives, your mouth hangs on the floor. Shimizu never told you that the volleyball team she managed was so tall! Sure, some of the members are on the short-side, but for the most part, they all exceed her height.

"(Y/N), meet the former Karasuno High School boys' volleyball team," Shimizu introduces the men. While you politely smile at each of them, your eyes don't deceive you; a man's embrace around her waist and his lips on her cheek!

"Shimizu-chan, is he your boyfriend?" You whisper in her ear.

"Oh, right. This is my boyfriend, Sugawara Koushi." You smile at him. They look perfect together. He has silver hair and pretty eyes that you can't help but to gaze at. Shimizu must be a very happy woman!

"Nice to meet you, Sugawara-san."

While they all hound the bar for drinks, you hang back again to reserve the table and Sugawara-san decides to keep you company.

"Thank you for being friends with Shimizu-chan, (Y/N). I'm always worried that she's sad or upset, but she is always happy on the phone. She's said a lot of nice things about you!" Sugawara's smile stretches to the point where he squints his eyes.

"Thank you, Sugawara-san. I love being friends with her. She's one of the kindest people I know." You beam at the idea of talking about your friends. While only Shimizu came out tonight—which is the reason why an impromptu high school reunion was in order, you love gushing about your friends. You are the true lucky one to coexist with them, not the other way around. "Say, you're in the same year as us for university? You've just finished as well?"

"Yes, but I plan to do more schooling. I want to become a teacher in mathematics," Sugawara explained. "What was your major?"

"Mine was journalism. I'm moving to the United Kingdom soon to get a break into their industry. I'd love to work with one of their major publications."

"How impressive, (L/N)-san!" Sugawara claps as he sips from his half-full glass of beer. To you, it looks half-empty. You still aren't sure if moving across the world is a great idea and so many people are convincing you that you're going to rot and suffer in a place that doesn't hold your native tongue. "I think you're very brave for wanting to cross the oceans, though I'm sure you'll miss your friends and family here."

"I will, and thank you." You can feel the blush creeping up your cheeks and not just from your cocktail. You just never hear people affirming your actions and yet Sugawara, an acquaintance, manages to bring up your spirits in a jiffy.

"Say, (L/N)-san, have any of the boys caught your eye tonight?" Sugawara asks you our of the blue and the heat takes over your whole face. "That is if you don't have a boyfriend already."

"I don't," you admit with a shy eye. You haven't been in a long-term relationship since your high school boyfriend cut ties once the summer after your third year ended. You can never forget how he brought you to your favorite cafe, bought you your favorite slice of cake and completely ended it with your skin scratched red and your eyes burning with tears. You swore that you'd never treat anyone like he treated you.

"Great! I can fully introduce you to any of the guys if you want." At this point, you can't tell if he's doing this for you or for his boys but maybe this meant something to him.

"I don't know yet, but maybe I'll just see how the night goes right now." You shrug, seeing as the rest of the group is making their way back.

While they slide into the booth, Sugawara whispers into your ear, "I'll be your wingman! Just tell me who and your wish will be granted." You two share a secret smile. Sugawara speaks up. "Why don't we all go around saying our names? I bet (L/N)-san would appreciate it."

And so they go around, snaking the booth and taking turns introducing themselves and talking about who they are. Hinata and Kageyama both attend the same university where they received scholarships for volleyball. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi attend a nearby university and their teams often scrimmage when they get the chance. Nishinoya is going to school for athletic training, Ennoshita just graduated from an accelerated business program, and Tanaka is working as a mechanic. Shimizu-chan tells you that Yachi, the manager who took over after she left, is studying abroad in America for marketing.

"And what about you two?" You motion toward two men sitting across from you. The first is a man with a clean haircut and a cheeky grin. His cheeks glow red but you can't tell if it's only from the drinks. The other one has a half up-half down hairstyle with strands falling out and kind of resembles someone who loves nature.

"I'm Daichi and this is Asahi," the man with the grin announces for the both of them. Asahi lightly waves with a smile, but he doesn't necessarily meet your eye. He just continues to sip from his glass of what looked like a whiskey mixer. "Same year as you, I presume? Just graduated as well."

While you attempt to get to know Daichi, since he's the only one who wants to speak, Hinata and Kageyama yell because their favorite song is playing and they have to dance. They drag along Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, and even Kiyoko and Sugawara sway to the beat together, his hand cupping her hip and her arm wrapping around his neck. You can't help but to swoon because his forehead rests against hers and they have a smile that belongs only to the two of them.

"They're a beautiful couple," Daichi says.

"Who?" You turn back to him, knitting your brows.

"Suga and Kiyoko. They only became close during university. Kiyoko never would've dated anyone back in high school." Daichi laughs, thinking all about their first experiences as a group.

"I can see that. What about the rest of the team? Any heartthrobs during your high school years?" You wonder. What else is there to make conversation about?

"Eh, not really." Daichi shrugs.

Asahi chimes in, "Daichi was in love with a girl but they never ended up together." While he says this, he is just as quick to detract himself from the conversation again, apologizing as he takes a leave to use the restroom.

Your eyes widen to hear that, though why should you be surprised? It's just a man you've just met. It all feels so much more intimate now that it's just you on one side and him on the other and the only things between you two are this table and this thick tension that you can't quite describe. "Still in love?"

Daichi chuckles at your reaction. "No. She shared the same feelings, just not at the same time. It's been a long time since I've spoken to her. I'm ready to move on." You think that the last sentence is geared toward you, but you aren't too sure. "What about you, (L/N)-san?"

"Call me (Y/N). And to be honest, there hasn't been anyone I can look forward to, but maybe soon." He has to know that the statement was pointed, with all your fingers, to his heart. How could he not know? Your flirting style is that you become way too obvious when you're drunk and you are definitely on the way to getting tipsy.

"I see." His face drags for some reason and his lips become thinner than a board, but he doesn't seem perturbed otherwise. "(Y/N), do you have anyone special in your life?"

"Not really. It's been a few months since I've been on a date, but I've been trying to finish my degree and now that I'm done, I have to start exploring, you know?" You reason with yourself, trying not to attach yourself to this handsome man who probably just wants to make small talk. You throw back your head with liquor searing your tongue and throat. "That was strong," you mutter to yourself as you set the now-empty glass.

"I understand what you mean. The same goes for me." Daichi throws back a shot of his own. "Let's go on the dance floor. I don't think Asahi's coming out, for whatever reason he's got." He turns back and makes a confused face in the direction of the restroom.

Now this is something you can't deny, especially when he holds out a confident hand toward you. "Are you this smooth with all the girls you meet?"

"No, only you." His grin on his face is so mesmerizing and you can't help but to smile back. He's really something, this Daichi character.

"Well then. Let's go join them." Even though he held his hand out first, you lead the way to the multicolored dance floor.

When you find a good spot, you're settled next to Hinata, Nishinoya, and Yamaguchi thrashing about, even though that isn't really what the song calls for. "Hi guys!" You yell to them and you get some half-hearted responses because they're so into their "dancing."

"Don't mind them. They're like this every single time we go clubbing."

"And what are you like when you go clubbing?" If you were going to get drunk, you might as well go all the way.

He takes no hesitations to lead your hands around his neck and his fingers to your hips. "I'm like this," he leans into your neck and whispers this right by your ear. "Should I continue with something else?"

You don't pull back and you don't squirm. You just look into his eyes and that's all he needs.

•

"Shimizu-san, is it okay if I take (Y/N) home?" As drunk as he is, he is still the politest man you've ever met.

She stops Suga's "neck devouring session" for a moment so she can direct her attention on Daichi's situation. "Are you sure that's a good idea? You both are visibly drunk."

"I'm going to grab a cab and I'll protect her." Daichi looks into his former manager's eyes. "I promise." Shimizu lets out a breath; if there's someone to trust a promise from, it is from Daichi.

"Alright. Just be careful." She nods with a tight-lipped smile. She looks over to you, where you stir by the booth you all took up before. You're processing life as it is, and you're no longer drinking, which is a good sign to her. "And don't be up for so long. I know (Y/N) doesn't have work for the weekend, but that doesn't mean you should keep her, unless she wants to be kept that long." She winks at Daichi. "Good luck."

Daichi gapes at her forwardness, which hasn't changed since high school. "T-thanks. Get home safe, okay?" Daichi envelopes Shimizu and Suga separately and then bids the rest of the boys goodbye before making it back to you. "Let's head out, (Y/N)? You ready?"

"As I'll ever be." A laugh erupts as you rise from your seat. It's a really good thing that you chose to wear platform sandals instead of high heels, otherwise you probably wouldn't have been able to stand. You clutch tightly around Daichi's bicep, more for balance, but also to touch the muscles you've been eyeing since the beginning of the night. You are in for a long night.

And this is where you get up to from trying to trace back your memories when a familiar kind-faced man sits up. "Are you awake, (Y/N)?"

You find yourself laughing nervously. This is the total opposite of the behavior you had last night. "Yeah, good morning." You turn over and your anxiety washes away. If you wanted to get involved with a guy, this would be the one. He seems like the perfect guy to take care of you, regardless of your relationship status.

"I know we did some stuff last night, but I also know that I didn't regret it," Daichi comments as he cranes his neck to relieve his muscle's tension. You pull the sheets with you as you match his straight-up form.

"I don't regret it either," you say as you glance toward his chest, full of little purple and blue marks you have no memory of putting there. "Look, why don't I make some breakfast and if you want, we can talk about it, or if you're uncomfortable with me being here, I'll just leave."

"There's no need for you to leave. Actually, breakfast would be really nice." Daichi rubs the back of his neck; no one has ever made him breakfast the morning after—not that he's had that many people to do it with.

•

"Hey!" You brightly respond after you pick up your phone. You just got back from Daichi's apartment and you settle into the bed at yours. Not as soft as his, you note to yourself as you kick your feet up.

"Hi! I got your phone number from Shimizu, I hope that's okay!" He sounds chipper as ever, even more so than when you saw him for the first time yesterday. "So how'd everything go last night?"

"What do you mean?" You act innocent, but you know exactly what he's talking about.

"You know! Everything!" Sugawara-san laughs. "How were the festivities with Daichi?"

"Well, I can say some details, but I'll spare you and just say that I hope there'll be another time where we get to do this again—"

You're cut off by an ear-splitting squeal.

"Koushi? What's going on?" Shimizu-chan's voice is faint in comparison to Sugawara's scream.

"Shimizu, they definitely did it! They did it! I finally got a couple together!"

You roll your eyes, but your smile widens.

"Congrats, (Y/N). I'm glad you've found someone and I think this one will stick." You can tell your best friend has control over the phone. Shimizu-chan giggles and you take her words in stride; it's rare for her to show any emotions at all.

"I sure hope so."

Shimizu sighs, both happily and slightly annoyed. "I'll talk to you later. I have to go calm down my idiot."

The last thing you hear before the line goes dead is "Oh my god! Daichi has a girl! Daichi has a girl!" reverberating through their apartment. His shouts for joy make you hopeful for the future, because who knew what was to come? All you know is that you want to see that cute captain again.

[grimelords]

My November playlist is complete from Aretha Franklin to Blood Incatation, and I guarantee there’s at least something in here you’ll love. Thanks for listening!

If you’d like to get these playlists emailed to you instead of having them appear randomly on your dash, please sign up to my tinyletter.

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Don't Start Now - Dua Lipa: Dua Lipa said disco lives. I absolutely love this song, it’s rock solid disco without being throwback or ironic about it. The way this song starts with the first line of the chorus and then launches into the verse and only gives you the full chorus later feels like that thing movie trailers do now where they give you a little trailer before the trailer for some reason. It’s also something I’ve never heard before, and it gives the song a very fun structure in the intro where it has two different levels of elevation it can drop down to before the bass properly drops in. I think Dua Lipa understands something fundamental about being a pop singer: literally the only thing you have to do is make bangers. She has basically zero personality and was criticised massively around New Rules for having zero stage presence (which she's definitely gotten better at since) but I kind of like it like that - she's just an unknowable blank canvas that's not particularly interested in any kind of narrative, she just makes bangers.

Mirage (Don't Stop) - Jessie Ware: Jessie Ware has been putting out some extremely good singles since her last album and this song is another. It’s the kind of smooth neo-soul that Jungle is pioneering but the way this song is structured is really beautiful; it gives the ‘don’t stop moving’ part a lot of space early on before it really gets to take hold and take over the second half of the song - it gives the whole song this feeling of disco evolution and the song going on and on and changing rather than static pop.

What A Fool Believes - Aretha Franklin: I can’t believe I’ve never heard Aretha’s version of What A Fool Believes before. It’s amazing. It’s the best kind of cover where you just basically do the song exactly the same but better in every single way. Push the tempo slightly, put big brass in it, make the bass hot as hell, sing the hell out of it, add a sax solo obviously. She takes such liberty with the rhythm of the vocals and it gives this whole song this great swooping and diving energy that just uplifts in such a beautiful way.

Walking Into Sunshine (Larry Levan 12” Mix) - Central Line: Something I love about this song is the crowd noise that breaks in with a ‘woo’ near the beginning. It’s such a strange little detail that instantly injects so much life and love into the track. It positions it at a party rather than a studio from the outset and somehow that mindset carries through the whole rest of the song even though the crowd noise only lasts a couple of seconds until they reconvene right at the very end.

Freedom - Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five: There was a time in the history of rap music where some kind of government mandate demanded that every song go for at least 7 minutes, so you ended up with great songs like this where they spend a good couple minutes in the middle killing time by going through everyone’s star sign and then asking the crowd their star sign too. Also they appear to have recorded their own kazoos on the track over the kazoos in the sample, which is a lesson in good production everyone take.

Freedom Funk It Up Freedom - Freedom: I was looking up where the sample on that Grandmaster Flash song Freedom was from and it turns out it’s from this band called Freedom. Easy enough. This isn’t the song Freedom samples though, this is Freedom’s other song Freedom Funk It Up Freedom. It’s fucking hot and contains maybe the livest crowd I’ve ever heard, they are just going absolutely nuts the whole time and it only helps the energy of the song which is already off the charts.

Set Guitars To Kill (Live) - And So I Watch You From Afar: For the 10th anniversary of their debut album, And So I Watch You From Afar just played the whole thing front ot back and put it out as a live album, and it’s amazing. They’re an instrumental band that’s always emphasised the rock part of post-rock, in the same space as bands like 65daysofstatic and Russian Circles but not so self-serious about it, just big honking rock and roll tunes with a surprising depth and complexity to them that never get bogged down in ambient buildups or the other space-making trappings of post-rock. Their debut album has always been my favourite of theirs because it felt the most ‘live’ and wasn’t as cleanly produced as their subsequent releases (which are still very good), and so this live version feels sort of like a definitive version for me, like this is how it was always meant to sound but they didn’t have enough fans to do the ‘woo!’ part properly yet, which is one of the most purely joyful moments in music.

Bullet The Blue Sky (Live) - U2: I saw U2 this week for the second time in my life and guess what: they’re still great. Even though they’re old as fuck and Bono is getting stranger and stranger they’ve still got it. They have a very good bit of stage design going with this current tour where for a big chunk of it they’re out on a little platform in the middle of everyone with no screens or fancy lights and it’s one of the most effective ways I’ve seen of making an arena show feel like an actual intimate experience. I was a million miles away and Bono looked like an ant more than usual but the energy still came across. Then, when they do the Joshua Tree Start To Finish part of the show they have big visuals for every song but it’s still pretty light on actual cameras on the band, which I think works really well - a sort of best of both worlds where you get the arena show but the actual band performance. This song was a highlight for me, and they’ve somehow managed to make it even more ferocious now than ever before. It got extremely noisy, far noisier than you’d ever expect from U2 at least and really amped up the swirling energy that I’ve always loved about this song. People accuse U2's politics of being too wide ranging, and it's well founded they're the prototypical 'heal the world' rock stars - even in this song and the way they've repurposed its messages to fit various political causes over the years they've tried to dilute it, but this feels to me like a song that you can't wash the meaning out of no matter how hard you try. It's one of the best and most direct criticisms of American evil put to song, and it's an arena song that doesn't particularly have an arena melody to it. Especially in the Joshua Tree/Rattle And Hum era, U2 have always been captivated by the American mythos but have never been able to completely ingratiate themselves as an American Rock Band because they're not and I think that point of difference in identity has them uniquely positioned to criticise the American mythos as well. They can have it both ways because they can't fully have it, so in this song the circle of American violence is complete in the women and children who run from the American fighter planes into the arms of America as refugees. Bono's actually mad, which is a nice change of pace from love healing the world.

Gingerly - Enemies: I love this Enemies album so much. A sweet spot between post-rock and midwest emo math guitar, and listening to it now this song really stood out in a way it hasn’t before. It turns up at a good spot in the album just as you might be getting tired of the twinkly clean guitars that characterise the rest of it and burns a hole in the speaker with that distorted bass and siren guitar sound.

You Look Certain (I’m Not So Sure) - WXAXRXP Session - Mount Kimbie: I think every band should get the chance to re-record their album a year or two after they’ve put it out, once they’ve had a chance to really sit with the songs for a while and figure out exactly how they work because this version is just so much better than the album version (which was already great!). The guitar sound is so much bigger, properly leaning into the post-punk idea they were only exploring on the album, and the vocals are so much stronger and more up front which makes it feel so much more like a full song than an experiment. This whole Warp Session EP is fantastic and I’ve been listening to it on repeat, it’s so great that they’ve morphed from this insular electronic duo into a proper band over the years and I'm excited to see where they'll take it next.

Peace To All Freaks - of Montreal: The new of Montreal single is great. Embracing an 80s dance vibe and immediately turning his back on it in the opening lines and not going out because he needs to educate himself instead. I love this song, an unironic and non-cheesy rallying against negativity which is a lot harder to do with earnesty than they make it sound here.

Taipei - Social Climbers: Thankyou to my friend and yours agrifuture for this recommendation. Social Climbers played an odd and paranoid version of art rock in the early 80s that on this song at least sounds more like modern opera trying to fit itself to a rock band than anything else. I can also say with confidence this is the only song I’ve ever heard where someone sends a quiche back in the middle of it.

Mad Eyed Screamer - The Creatures: I’ve never gotten much into Siouxie And The Bashees, they're probably somewhere on my list of bands to have a deep three week long obsession with somewhere in the future, but for now my biggest exposure to them is the time The Weeknd sampled them. I am, however, deeply interested in this drums and vocals only side project that Siouxie Sioux formed with her then-partner Budgie. I’m a big fan of any kind of restricted composition like this and I love this song. It’s so busy and the amount of reverb and extra percussion going on makes for this extremely chaotic, noisy vision of what is essentially a folk song in its lyric and melody.

Black Magic - Jarvis Cocker: I found out that the main guitar part in this song is sampled from Crimson & Clover by Tommy James and The Shondells. Which is something I don’t think I’ve ever seen before, a rock song like this built around a sample. Not exactly sampling in order to recontextualise across genres or approaches but sampling to recontextualise in a lateral, parallel approach. I love this song because his delivery is so feverish and impassioned it really does feel like he’s seen beyond the veil and come back without the language or capacity to explain what he saw, only the passion.

Year In Pictures - Dick Diver: Every year since this album came out it's shown up somewhere in my Spotify most listened list at the end of the year. It's surprising because I don't think of it as one of my all time favourites when it definitely is, it's such an easy listen that it just comes and goes pleasantly. This song is kind of about that feeling I guess, of things just happening and time just passing pleasantly enough year on year, everthing in its own time while the past disappears and doesn't matter anymore. "Whatever happens, I think everything will"

Heart - Bertie Blackman: I love the percussion in this song, the same propulsive clapping-centred beat that makes Single Ladies so good with the dark grinding bass underneath it that just pulses malevolently until the gearshift of the chorus where it morphs immediately into this 60s soul version of itself, with the ooh la la backing vocals and everthing, and that disonnance between the two styles drives the song for me. Where the verse lays out the evil plainly and the music matches, the chorus accentuates it in wide eyed irony "I know there's something sick with what I've been sold" sung with a smile and showgirl backing vocals.

Love Lockdown - Kanye West: Something I think we’re all learning as Kanye loses his mind completely on the world stage is that Kanye has always been insane. He has always had an unnervingly powerful self-belief and unwavering vision that has up until recently been what made him such a unique and era-defining artist. After the radical directions of MBDTF and Yeezus it’s sort of hard to remember just how radical 808s And Heartbreaks was at the time because unlike the self aware harshness and strangeness of the other two it was also so pop adjacent, because of its 80s synthpop influence but also because of the way it (and T-Pain) impacted all other pop music of the time. The instrumentation on this song is still so staggering, even just the pitched kick at the centre I could listen to on loop forever I think.

It Might Be Time - Tame Impala: Absolutely cannot wait for the new Tame Impala if this and Patience are any indication. The absolutely huge blown out drums on this are so good and remind me of something I’ve been trying to place for weeks and can’t. Maybe a Chemical Brothers song or some kind of big beat era thing. I think of Kevin Parker and Adam Granduciel from The War On Drugs as the same kind of guys, absolute craftsmen studio nerds that are completely obsessed with sound but unlike most other guys of that genre are actually great songwriters as well. Long haired studio hermits that emerge every few years to bless us all.

Never Again - Kelly Clarkson: I’ve been trying to decide whether this or Since U Been Gone is a better song and I’ve settled on this having the superior verses and Since U Been Gone the better chorus. The absolute venom in the lyrics is incredible. “I hope the ring you gave to her turns her finger green.  I hope when you’re in bed with her you think of me” is like.. the most metal opening I’ve ever heard. She literally sings “You’ll die together, but alone” in the second verse, jesus christ.

Giant Swan - The Blood Brothers: I found out recently from reading the wiki article on screamo (which like almost all wiki articles about music genres is about 60% artists claiming that genres are fake and critics coining new genre names half in jest) that The Blood Brothers were apparently part of a screamo subgenre called Sass, which is a term I have never heard before in my life and certainly never heard in the heyday of the style. You learn something every day I suppose. “It originated as an opposing style of hardcore punk to the machismo in heavy hardcore scenes. It takes influence from genres such as post-punk, new wave, disco, electronic, dance-punk, emoviolence, grindcore, metalcore and heavy hardcore. The genre is characterized by often incorporating overtly flamboyant mannerisms, erotic lyrics featuring sexual tension, and a lisping vocal style. The genre is also noted for its "spastic edge", blast beats, chaotic guitars, danceable beats and the use of synthesizers.” My understanding is that when emo went mainstream and the split between ‘emo’ as a music and ‘scene’ as a fashion occurred, this is the music that emerged from the middle ground. Turning against the masculinity of their screamo forebears and toward the queer aesthetics of scene, the resulting style was still furious and violent but furious with a light cabaret (but like, if cabaret was good and not just a guy in a top hat emoting, a different style of emo that Panic! At The Disco famously pioneered) and violent in a psychedelic, surreal way that set it apart from the depressed and black aesthetics of the rest of emo. I love The Blood Brothers and have never found another band like them in terms of lyrical inventiveness and sheer vocal insanity, the characteristic shrill falsetto that sporadically turns to screams is an amazing choice that’s incredible it works at all. This song especially stands out as unique even amongst the chaos of their discography. The loping lounge feel in the first half, coupled with the properly surreal description of the giant swan in the lyrics establishes such an strange and dark cabaret mood that makes this song so oddly singular to me.

The Ripper - The Used: I really appreciate the production on this whole album, it is so overdone and hyperactive that it creates this irrepressible momentum because something is always happening. The songs themselves are incredibly compressed in structure and extremely hook heavy, and it feels like to counteract and complement that approach they‘ve been gone over bar by bar finding every possible spot to add interest. Dynamics shifting, drums filtering and then revealing themselves, choirs appearing from this air for two lines. Guitar squeals fly in and out in the background and the bass suddenly becomes extremely chunky in parts. The whole mix gets sucked down a black hole and then a little glockenspiel outlines the vocal melody in the background for a second leading back into a huge chorus. Everything happen in this short song. It’s an interesting approach that can be overwhelming, but it has undeniable results.

Ilana - Mdou Moctar: Mdou Moctar rocks because he takes a big power chord riff like the one at the start of this song that could just as easily start a Thin Lizzy song and then immediately discards it and twists a melting solo that crosses time and space for the rest of the song instead.

Ancestral Recall (feat. Saul Williams) - Christian Scott aTunde Adjuah: The press release for this album says: “In its inception, Ancestral Recall was built as a map to de-colonialize sound; to challenge previously held misconceptions about some cultures of music; to codify a new folkloric tradition and begin the work of creating a national set of rhythms; rhythms rooted in the synergy between West African, First Nation, African Diaspora/Caribbean rhythms and their marriage to rhythmic templates found in trap music, alt-rock, and other modern forms. It is time we created a sound that dispels singular narratives of entire peoples and looks to finally represent the wealth of narratives found throughout the American experience. One that shows that all forms of expression in sound are valid, as all people are." All that and a bit of spoken word at the start that sounds like Hannibal Buress’ Morpheus Walruses rap and I’m sold. I’m such a fan of jazz like this that purposefully opens itself up to the influence of the modern world and modern tradition, and the percussion work across this album in particular is so unique and really does what he set out to do in my opinion, bringing the rhythms of tradition into a modern context seamlessly.

Spider Hole - Billy Woods & Kenny Segal: I only found out about Billy Woods this month and I’m surprised I’ve never heard of him before because he feels like the middle of the venn diagram between Earl Sweatshirt, Aesop Rock and Death Grips. This flat out sounds like a Death Grips song played at half speed. The justified paranoia and anger that runs through this whole album is palpable and jumbled, centring around a feeling of lashing out in a moment of hopelessness because you don’t know what else you can do. "4 million USD hovering over some mud huts, it's nuts, it's not the heat it's the dust" is one of the most evocative lines of the year for me.

El Toro Combo Meal (feat. Mavi) - Earl Sweatshirt: When this new earl EP came out I listened to it 4 times in a row because it is just so compulsively brilliant. He’s refining his style more and more with every release and he’s honed it to this fine point now where every song is so super dense in its lyrical content and production that a full length release would almost be too much. There’s just so much to absorb here. Mavi’s verse is incredible too. I’ve never heard of him before but I’m a big supporter now. The beats too, through this whole EP are the kind that sound like a radio stuck between stations - looping snatches of vocals and drums drowned out in tape hiss where the beat is only a suggestion that Mavi and Earl both glide over on some sort of metric modulation and only land every now and then just to take off again.

Drug Dealer - Slowthai: Slowthai is so full of fire on this song it's scary. Facing a dead end future down and screaming that something's gotta change, and that he's the one to do it.

Lighthouse (feat. Rico Nasty, Slowthai and ICECOLDBISHOP) - Take A Daytrip: I have never heard of Take A Daytrip before this song but doing some research it turns out I have heard them, because they produced Panini by Lil Nas X. I have also never heard of ICECOLDBISHOP before but the way he brings an absolutely deranged verse on this song has made me an instant fan. I love this trio of features: three out there, huge personality voices at the outer limits of mainstream rap that in their oddness complement each other perfectly.

Rich Girl - Michie One & Louchie Lou: Something I learned this month was that Rich Girl by Gwen Stefani isn't a direct rip of If I Were A Rich Man from Fiddler On The Roof, it actually samples this song which acts as a sort of bridge between the two, and I think there's something interesting in the transfer of intention between the three songs, lyrically and musically. In the original his conception of a rich man is someone who can afford to have lots of ducks and geese, eat well and have enough time to pray because he doesn't have to work, then in the Michie One & Louchie Lou version rich is being able to feed your family and start a school (as well as play the horses and never lose), and in the Gwen Stefani version rich is having a house in Hollywood and London, clearing out designer stores, and buying four Harajuku girls and naming them Love, Angel, Music and Baby. It spirals up mercilessly from geese to, I guess, human trafficking. Musically there's a transformation as well, where the jewishness of the 'daidle daidle deedle daidle dumb' in the orginal is changed to a 'na na na na na' in this version and only a part of the original melodic lilt remains, a part that is completely ironed out in the Gwen Stefani version's 'na na na na na's. The downsides of wealth morph too, in the original it's simply not a part of God's plan, in this version it can't buy love, is the root of all evil (is a  worldwide thing / rich is getting richer while the poor are getting stink) and only leads to more trouble (you reap but you never did sow / rich today you could be poor tomorrow / mind your back and watch your enemies grow) but in the Gwen Stefani version being rich is amazing on its own and the only thing that can top it is your love.

Santa Teresa - EOB: Tricked into enjoying ambient side projects once again. Ed O'Brien from Radiohead's new side project came up on my Discover Weekly without me realising it was him and I absolutely loved it. It’s expansive and cinematic and nice in a way that feels rare in ambient experimental stuff like this, to not be morose or depressing and gloomy for its own sake. It’s sharp and angular, or as sharp and angular as a song as slow moving as this can be and reminds me in part of HEALTH’s Max Payne 3 soundtrack, and Emma Ruth Rundle’s Electric Guitar One which are both masterpieces on their own.

Rough Sleeper - Burial: Reading Mark Fisher’s Ghosts Of My Life I was pleasantly surprised to see his Burial interview in there that I remember reading years and years ago before I knew who Mark Fisher was. I’ve thought of parts of that article here and there ever since and finally placing it in the wider context of Mark’s work was very satisfying, it’s funny how people come back to you in different forms over your lifetime. I don’t listen to Burial much now, or at least not as much as I used to at the height of my depression a few years ago where he was on near constant repeat and as a result his music became completely waterlogged with the feeling of that time and I couldn’t listen to him at all for a while without the memories completely marring any appreciation. But time passes as it does and it’s a nice feeling to finally be able to listen to Untrue again and not have it be so permanently soaked with memories of the worst time of my life, and now with a different mindset and viewpoint I can really see different sides of his music. Where before all I could hear was the bleak and empty future haunted by the ghosts of the past, now new colours appear - a warmth of hazy, pleasant memory and imagination. Reds and oranges creep into the black and grey and this song can feel like staying under covers while it storms outside instead of standing in the rain.

Night MXCMPV1 P74 - Venetian Snares & Daniel Lanois: I really don’t think I’ll ever hear another album like this in my life. The push and pull of the humanity of Lanois’ pedal steel and the digital nightmare of Venetian Snares percussion is just so engaging, and the moments where they overlap and move together in harmony contrast so beautifully with the times they feel like they’re playing two different songs altogether. Then they overlap, the effects overpower the steel guitar and it moves into a leaping angular digital realm and the percussion coalesces into an altogether human rush, or as human as Venetian Snares can be.

Were You There When They Crucified My Lord - Marisa Anderson: I can't find the quote but somewhere when she was doing interviews about this album Traditional And Public Domain songs, Marisa Anderson said part of the reason she likes traditional songs so much is because when she was coming up and playing in cafes around town she mistakenly thought she'd have to pay royalties if she did covers of popular songs, so she only did public domain songs instead.

Were You There When They Crucified My Lord - Johnny Cash: Another side of Were You There When They Crucified My Lord, one that expands magically into an amazing many-layered harmony led by June’s high and lonesome howl.

See That My Grave's Kept Clean - Blind Lemon Jefferson: Jefferson was buried at Wortham Negro Cemetery in 1929. His grave was unmarked until 1967, when a Texas historical marker was erected in the general area of his plot; however, the precise location of the grave is still unknown. By 1996, the cemetery and marker were in poor condition, and a new granite headstone was erected in 1997. The inscription reads: "Lord, it's one kind favour I'll ask of you, see that my grave is kept clean." In 2007, the cemetery's name was changed to Blind Lemon Memorial Cemetery, and his gravesite is kept clean by a cemetery committee in Wortham.

The Giza Power Plant - Blood Incantation: What I find so appealing about Blood Incantation is how dedicated they are. Zealots to the cult of being long haired death metal guys who wholeheartedly and sincerely believe in interdimensional aliens and the pyramids being the remnants of an ancient advanced technology. The dedication extends to them being maybe some of the best players in the genre I’ve ever heard, and them recording this whole album analog live in studio is such a feat of performance that adds another layer of intensity to this already extremely intense music.

listen here

[angrylizardjacket]

friends in various places

AYDTD ‘verse

Summary: Ash and Roger's son had landed the part of Tom Zutaut in the up and coming film The Dirt, where some old family friends are having their lives dissected on screen. Only problem is, the rest of his fellow cast members don't actually know who in the hell he is. Of course, when his sister arrives, it can only mean bad things.

A/N: literally no-one asked for this but i’m cleaning out my drafts. or attempting to.

----

Tommy greets Barney like an old friend, wrapping him up in a hug, talking about the last time he saw him, he was knee high to a grasshopper. Barney, who does his best to appear smaller than he is, slouching a little as he stands, making him appear to be just a bit shorter than the six-foot-two drummer, gives a slight smile.

“All the guys on ma’s side of the family are giants, apparently, I just grew into it.” He grins a little, and Tommy’s smiling, his eyes lighting up a little at the mention of Barney’s mother, and says Barney sounds so much like her. The tall ginger’s smile is wry as he raises his eyebrows skeptically. “’difference is you can understand me if I mumble.” Barney sounds the way a gently foggy Scottish moor looks; when not acting he speaks with a accented yet calming monotone drawl, which a lot of people don’t realise since he’s so quiet, so a lot of the cast and crew first heard him speak at the read-through, and thought he was American. 

The others who catch a glimpse of this interaction, Colson and Iwan and Douglas, all take a moment; they’ve known Barney because he always seemed to be around, on set, mentioned in passing; it seemed like everyone in the industry, whether they’re in the film or not, had heard of Barney Clarke, but they were never sure why, and they thought it would be confined to film.

Vince, on one of the rare occasions he makes it to set, asks about Barney’s sister. Later, Barney will explain to the other cast members that his sister is a mechanic, and that she sometimes worked in a pit crew for celebrity motor racing events. No-one thinks to question further, they accept it, they think she got the job on Barney’s recommendation; they don’t realise just who he is, just who’s around him. For now, Barney just shrugs a little, says that last he heard she was in Germany ‘for some car thing’.

He gets along with the rest of the cast well enough, he and Daniel taking quite a shine to each other as the others were a little more out there in the day-to-day; Colson because he’s always somehow full of energy, Douglas because he was in character, though Iwan was a bit of a dark horse, who enjoyed being loud as anyone else whilst not in character. 

Barney’s level and calm, and credits boxing as his outlet. For the longest time, it seemed as though nothing got under his skin, that he was just this chill, vaguely Scottish giant. If anyone was looking for a calm moment, with him they’d get it. Much to everyone’s surprise, especially Colson, he hung out a lot in the makeup tent, offering to help while the team of makeup artists covered Colson’s various tattoos. And maybe, yeah, there was a little bit of resentment building - of course, aside from being humble, well connected, and reasonably talented, he also had to be the kindest fucking Samaritan in the world - but then he sees Barney wrap his arms around Mickey, the assistant to the key makeup artist, press a kiss to their cheek before heading to his own trailer. It’s such a soft, intimate gesture. How had he not noticed the wedding band on Mickey’s finger before now? Barney’s willingness to hang around and help the makeup team, of whom his spouse is a part of, makes a lot more sense. 

And yet, it manages to just add to the confusing puzzle of ‘who actually is Barney Clarke?’.

A Running List of Facts The Main Cast of The Dirt Knows About Barney Clarke (a list compiled by Colson, with notes from Iwan, Douglas, and Daniel)

He’s Married - to Mickey Sun, makeup artist and social media personality

He’s Scottish (?) - observation based on his accent

Literally Everyone Seems To Be ‘A Friend Of The Family’ 

He’s Been Acting Since He Was 14 - based on his IMDB page

That’s it. That’s the list.

There was a fifth item, that he was the chillest dude in the world, but that’s scrubbed quickly when they come to film the party and scenes around Razzle’s death.

“What in the fuck are you doing here?” His natural accent comes in thicker, surprising the rest of them, when they get to set and see a beautiful, red car sitting on the curb outside the mansion they’re filming in, and a little blonde sitting on the hood of the car with a smile sharp as knives.

“I’ve got a car for you to crash,” and the woman sitting on the car sounds like him, accent, similar cadence even, and she hops off, stands with her hip cocked and arms crossed, looking over the rest of the cast, “actually, I had the shell of the model they needed rusting in my backyard, so I promised to paint it up right and fix it to the body of a far more expendable car, ‘s long as I got a trip to the states out of it.”

Barney looks like he’s quickly forming a headache.

The woman, tiny and pretty and wearing grease-stained jeans, introduces herself as Astrid, and when asked how she knows Barney, she raises her eyebrows with disbelief. Barney pinches the bridge of his nose.

“He’s my baby brother,” she says, grinning. 

They look almost nothing alike. With almost a foot of height difference between them, it’s jarring to think that Astrid’s the older one, but seeing them interact over the two weeks they’re together on set, it begins to make it’s own kind of sense. Astrid is the complete opposite to Barney in almost every way, apart from the fact that, like her brother, she was seemingly unflappable. She’s a smooth-talking, outrageous flirt who oozes casual confidence, and it seems the only thing she liked more than whiskey, neat, was driving fast.

“Hey, a friend of mine owes me a favour down at EXR,” Astrid’s grown very fond of Colson, and when the first week’s up, and they have a day off, she can’t help but want to share her favourite LA experience with him, “wanna go drive supercars?”

“Fucking absolutely.”

They drive a few hours into the desert until they get to the track, and the owner of the course, of EXR, Exotic Racing, greets Astrid with a kiss on both cheeks, and calls her Trid.

“Oh dude, oh fuck, you’re- fuckin’ MGK, shit Trid, you could have warned me,” the owner flusters for a moment, and Astrid gives a half-smile.

“Come on, Luca, it’s not a big deal,” Astrid tries to calm him down, and Luca sighs, before handing her a set of keys. Astrid and Colson head for the pits where a lineup of shiny cars are waiting, and Colson’s still reeling a little. The whole track is clear, closed so they’re the only ones around. 

“What did you have to do to get this whole place to yourself?” He asks, and Astrid tosses him the keys, climbing into the passenger seat of a sleek, black Ferrari.

“I work pit for free a few times a year.” Is all she tells him.

Colson isn’t a slow driver, not by a long shot, and Astrid seems content with him by the wheel, speeding down the straight with his foot on the floor, cutting corners close, and Astrid plugs in her phone to the aux cord and plays rock and roll so loud he can hear it hammer in his heart.

When they’ve done a few laps, Colson offers her a turn behind the wheel, and there’s a fire in her eyes that’s both terrifying and awe inspiring. They start of slow enough, two thirds of the speed he’d been going, but after a lap, she speeds up, her grip going white-knuckled on the wheel as she takes hairpin turns going 60mph, drifting around corners with such ease and efficiency without losing momentum, almost getting air off of the hill that leads into the final straight of the track. She drives like she doesn’t fear death.

This is the day Colson learns that Barney’s oldest sister is a professional stunt driver, as well as being a mechanic and general nuisance. 

And she’s fucking awesome.

“She’s magic,” Luca tells Colson as they watch Astrid do a few laps on her own. She’s even faster now, without a passenger to worry about, making it look easy as she goes around fast enough to stir a breeze each time she goes past.

“She drives like a maniac,” Colson laughs, and Luca hums with agreement, chuckling. When she stops beside them, the tires squeal against the tarmac, and her smile is breathless when she steps from the car, offering the keys enticingly, asking Colson if he wants another go around. He accepts, hopping into the drivers seat as Astrid heads to the bathroom.

When they get back on set the following day, Barney looks like he’s bitten a lemon the moment he sees Colson step out of Astrid’s fancy, iridescent teal car. 

“You’re doing it again,” Barney warned her, and Astrid gives him a blithe smile.

“No idea what you’re on about -”

“Leave Daniel out of it,” he’s quietly almost begging her now, and Astrid’s smile turns sharp, “Astrid you are the devil,” he tells her, feelingly, as he watches her wave to Daniel, who was mooning over the car with the rest of the cast. They both see him mouth ‘she’s cool as hell’ and Barney knows he’s already lost.

Colson catches on first, the way Astrid seems to get under her brother’s skin without even trying, around the time she’s grabbing lunch with Daniel and Iwan a few afternoons later. 

“Astrid,” Barney starts after a long moment taken to order his thoughts, “has chosen to model her life after Horace fucking Slughorn,” he seethes, and Colson’s confused for a moment before it clicks.

“From Harry Potter? The dude from the sixth one, right?”

“Right,” Barney sighs, and Colson quietly marvels at the fact that it’s the most he’s ever heard the ginger speak, “she collects the people I work with that she likes; it’s easy because she’s...” and he sighs like he’s terribly put upon, “actually really cool. Much cooler than I am, unfortunately.”

“She steals your friends?” Colson’s not quite sure if he should laugh, it all sounds a little childish, but Barney seems deeply troubled by it.

“No...” Barney muses after a moment of deliberation, “not exactly,” he amends, “she is the most supportive person I know, and I really do love her dearly, that’s not the issue, it’s that... well, she’s better at keeping in contact with people, despite only being on the peripheries of the industry.”

“Does it really bother you?”

“Yes!” Barney, surprisingly, explodes at the question, eyes going wide, throwing his hands into the air; it’s the most agitated and animated Colson’s ever seen him, “she’s so insufferably smug.” 

“You know you’re like... fuckin’ cool as shit, dude, right?” Colson admits with a half laugh, and Barney’s expression softens to something grateful, “I watched you in theaters dude, fucking big screen, man, X-Men’s not something to sneeze at.” He assured him, clapping a hand on Barney’s shoulder, who perked up considerably. 

It’s more of an insight into Barney’s character than anyone else had gotten during the entirety of filming, though Colson thought it would be best to keep this particular set of revelations to himself; Barney’s familial insecurities weren’t anyone else’s business. Much to his surprise, however, the following day, while covering his tattoos, Mickey brings it up.

“Barn really appreciates what you said to him,” they tell him, dabbing foundation on his chest, and Colson blinks a few times before he remembers.

“Oh, no big deal; you guys are married, right? Mickey Sun?”

“Michelangelo Sun-Taylor,” Mickey says, pausing and giving a sharp smile, to which Colson nods, and tries not to look as winded by the name as he feels. Sun-Taylor. Huh. How does that fit into the equation that is Barney Clarke? But he’s not given enough time to ponder that before Mickey’s working again. 

“I hear you’re being headhunted by Astrid,” they add, and Colson can’t help his slight smile and nod. Mickey makes a noise of understanding, “of course you are; she’s a fan of pretty blonde boys.” 

“She’d be the most envied woman in Hollywood if anyone knew her name,” they added, and Colson frowns a little at that, a little confused.

“Is it a status thing?” Is she using me? Is what he wants to ask, which Mickey seems to get easily, shaking their head.

“She genuinely cares for her friends; she’s a shit-stirrer, but she’s seen every movie Barney’s been in more than ten times, and she’s always willing to lend a hand - if you need a mechanic, call her, seriously; the thing is that she attracts pretty blonde boys who like cars and hot girls, and by the time they realise, she’s already solidified herself as a good friend.”

“Realise?”

“Well, it’s not my place, but she’ll tell you when she’s ready.” Mickey tells him earnestly, “lift your arm, please?”

Colson finds himself spending more time with Barney, dwelling. Barney won’t tell him either, insists it’s only Astrid’s place, which Colson respects, but he won’t bug her about it; he’s happy enough speculating.

“She has a kid?”

“Nope, that’s my other sister -”

“Other?” A tantalizing piece of new information about this man who’s slowly becoming less of an enigma.

“Cait, you’d love her, she can get wild -”

“More wild than Trid?”

“Not anymore,” Barney pauses, giving a half smile, looking over at where Colson is watching Astrid and Tommy argue animatedly about something, “Trid?” Colson shrugs, “she’ll tell you soon.”

“Can we meet your other sister?”

“If you want to,” Barney shrugs, offhandedly, “I think she’s in New York now with her partner, but I’m sure she’d be happy to fly in.”

“Is Trid married?” Colson asks, squinting, and Barney laughs in his face.

She tells him by the end of the day, mostly because his curiosity got the better of him.

“I’m gay; it’s not a secret,” she seems confused, and Colson frowns, though it does make a lot of sense, “I dated Cara Delevingne, does no-one remember that?”

“Fuck, man, I knew I knew you from somewhere,” Colson nods sagely, and Astrid snorts a laugh.

“It’s noble of Barn and Micks to not out me, but like, I’m kissing girls on tabloid covers, it’s not news,” she paused, shrugging, “I dunno, guys seem to be distracted by the, ah,” she gestures awkwardly to herself, and then to her car, “to see the kind of obvious signs.”

“You hitting on Leven wasn’t a bit?” Colson said with a half smile, and Astrid grinning.

“If you caught that, I’m not sure how it took you so long.”

“Cards on the table,” Colson raised his hands in mock surrender, “I was kind of distracted by the -” and he gestured to both her and the car, mirroring her from just moments ago, getting her to laugh. The tension broke, and they went to get dinner. Knowing what he knows now, it’s easy to be friends with Astrid; she ends up being a good wingman, apart from that time she accidentally went home with the girl Colson had been chatting up, and she’s got expensive taste in booze, which he appreciates. 

And he realises too late that he has no idea what to expect of their other sibling.

Cait is both the middle child, and seems like a strange middle-ground between her two siblings, at 5′7 and with the air of someone much wiser than her years. The moment she spots Astrid and Barney on set with the rest of the cast, eating lunch, she calls out.

“Ay-oh!” It’s a strangely familiar, and without missing a beat, both Barney and Astrid call back in the exact same manner, beaming, much to the bemusement of the rest of the cast. After a round of hugs, greetings, and introductions, and the strange realization that the siblings, despite not looking too much alike, all sound eerily similar, Cait sits herself with them all.

“Ben sends you and Joe his love,” Astrid adds, and Cait grins, thanking her for the message. Barney glowers into his pizza, “cheer up Barn, he sends you his love as well,” she pauses, grin all teeth, “Lucas does too.”

“He was my damn co-star, Astrid,” Barney huffs, “we still talk.”

“I know, I’m just teasing,” she offers, and Barney rolls his eyes.

“The collection of hot blonde dudes?” Colson asks bluntly, to which Douglas snorted water out through his nose, and Astrid turned scarlet.

“I do not-”

“Trid,” Cait said, giving her an exasperated look.

“I know you from somewhere,” Douglas mused, finally getting a good look at Cait, who just smiled blithely back.

“Ben Hardy and Lucas Till,” Barney fills in for the rest, who just seem to grow more confused, “so yes, part of Astrid’s harem of pretty boys.”

“They’re my friends, it’s not a damn harem - you’re an asshole, Barn,” Astrid glowered.

“I learned from the best,” Barney countered with smugly, and Astrid rolled her eyes. 

“Is that little Caity?” Came a call, and Cait stood abruptly to greet Tommy Lee with a bear hug. “You’re gotten so big, fuck, kiddo, I can’t believe you’re running Queen’s socials; you’ve been killing it from what I’ve seen.”

“Okay, seriously, who in the fuck are you people?” Daniel finally snapped, and Tommy blinked at him a few times, stepping back from Cait, casting a confused look between the three siblings.

“Did you not tell them?” Cait asked, eyes wide, and Barney scowled, though Astrid answered.

“Of course he didn’t,” she rolled her eyes, before turning on Douglas and Iwan, “you two ‘ve probably worked with our mum before; Rocket Taylor.”

Like a switch had been flipped, both Iwan and Douglas’s expression lit up, and behind them, Tommy turned a little pink around the ears. A chorus of ‘no way, holy shit’ rang out, and Cait nodded, while Barney hung his head. After a beat, however, Tommy stepped forward.

“You kids always downplay your dad like he’s not the drummer for Queen,” he adds, and the whole table explodes with shouting at that, highlights of which include Astrid’s ‘he’s a dork, Thomas!’ Cait’s ‘I was getting to that in a moment!’ and Barney’s ‘I’m excommunicating myself’ amid the cast’s sudden delight.

[cardigan-guy]

Something I need to talk about or I’ll literally evaporate

Around the time this all started I was 14. I had only recently discovered a passion for theater (and fashion) and as a result I wanted to get in good with the theater kids. Sure enough, my closest friend also did theater. We auditioned for the Fall play, and I made it. I got to know some people pretty well. They liked me too, at least, I think so. Can’t be too sure of who to trust when everyone around you is an actor. Regardless, I was feeling pretty good about myself.

One of my struggles, throughout most of my short life, has been that I am an incredibly picky romantic. Maybe it’s just my intuition, but if I don’t think something is going to work out between someone and myself, I snuff it out at the first possible opportunity. It’s a skill to be able to break up with someone, that’s for sure. However, I had a bit of an entitlement complex. I thought I deserved love just for being who I was. My 14-year-old ego was raging. It wasn’t cool. It probably wasn’t helped by the next person I met, whose influence on my life has been astronomical. 

I can’t use her real name (I like to remain semi anonymous), so we’ll call her Marie. I thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world. How we met was a complete accident.

 It was the first day of winter. I had just entered a relationship. I was walking to where my friends ate lunch at. There was an eating area, surrounded by some bushes, in between where I was coming from and where I was headed. In this bushy area, I saw an old friend of mine and 3 of her friends. While I walked past she was in the midst of saying “My dog almost died last night.” Upon hearing this, I replied “Oh no, I love your dog!” And I walked away. Behind me, I heard -- or at least thought I heard -- someone say, “I love you [my name].” To which, of course, I replied “I love you too!” Biggest mistake of my life. I thought -- and secretly, hoped -- that it was Marie that said it. 

School was let out for a two-week break. During that time, I tried connecting with my ill-fated match (truly, we were not meant to be), all the while I couldn’t shake what had transpired on that island in the middle of the parking lot. Eventually I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to know if Marie said it or not. I messaged her over social media, and asked, very bluntly, “Was it you who said ‘I love you [my name]?’” and she replied with “I don’t know. I say ‘I love you’ a lot.” After that interaction we just kept talking. I was fascinated with this beautiful girl who I had only ever met once. And she certainly loved the attention. I would text her nonstop, for weeks on end. One day, she gave me her number and asked to facetime. That only deepened my affection for her. 

My previously-mentioned girlfriend at the time broke up with me. Not because I did anything, just because we wanted very different things. This, though a little sad, was more freeing than anything. It meant that I could put everything into this new girl that I’d met. And I went crazy. I was texting or calling her every minute of every day for months. We’re talking around the middle of December towards probably the end of February. In mid-January, it became pretty obvious to her that I had feelings. 

“But I’m not allowed to date until I’m sixteen,” I said. She said she’d wait. I wasn’t going to be sixteen for another year-and-a-half, and here she was, saying she’d wait for me. She even put a little ‘two years’ after my name in her contacts. My heart was fluttering. I was so hopelessly, desperately infatuated with this girl. We kept going. I’d text her day-in, day-out, and there was never a problem.

But that was the problem. I was very, very, interested in Marie. My entire mood depended on her. Late one night, around the end of February, I called her. I told her I couldn’t talk to her anymore. That it was too painful to spend every day talking to someone I loved but could never have for myself. And what I said to her, while she cried over losing me, was,

“Eat your greens.” and I hung up. 

Thus, I entered the pit of despair that the Gregorian calendar calls “March.” It sure as hell felt like a March. Every day I was trudging through feelings of loneliness, longing, anger, self-doubt. I wasn’t doing better. It felt like it would be easier to just go back. And guess what I did?

I went back.

It took me less than a month to go back to Marie -- partially, because I was thoroughly convinced that I loved her, but partially because I knew that her presence in my life made everything a lot easier. It gave me a small sense of purpose. And it was a never-ending cycle of one of us leaving because our feelings were too much. Because I loved her or because she didn’t love me. Because of how she felt about herself. It was torment, and it was a lot of back and forth. 

This brings us up to the night before memorial day that year. Her brother was in my grade, and we had known each other because we both were in the Fall play together. He invited me to sleep over at his house the Sunday prior to Memorial day. I’d slept over at their house before. Seeing her there was a regular occurrence, but, more often than not my attention was turned to whatever her brother wanted to do out of politeness. Though, vine compilations do get boring after a time.

Somehow or other, all three of us ended up cuddling on their trampoline in the backyard. It was a little uncomfortable at first, but I got used to it. We just sat there, talking, staring at the sky. It was a beautiful May night. Her brother had fallen asleep spooning me, so it became just her and I talking. She said I was a good to cuddle. I looked at her. She looked at me. She told me she wanted to kiss me. She said she was afraid to kiss me. I said it was okay. I lied. We kissed. We kissed again. She went inside. I stayed there and watched stars fall from the sky as I felt my heart soar into heaven. 

When I woke up, I was in hell again. 

After that I don’t remember much. I know we stopped talking once the summer began. I don’t remember why. I know we went to the pool once. I remember thinking she was beautiful. I remember visiting her house a couple times during the summer. After that, it’s nothing. 

We went back to school, and it was very unlucky that we were basically apart of the same friend group. I had yet another girlfriend (at this point I’d given up on ever dating Marie) and my girlfriend’s friends, my friends, and sometimes Marie and her friends, all ate together. Time passed, my girlfriend and I broke up and my best friend and I were eating somewhere new. 

Eventually, we all got resettled and started eating with a teacher we all liked, called Mr. Johnson. He was a really great teacher and a really great, caring guy. 

It was around this time that I lost my grandfather. He was a huge influence on my life. My grandfather was so full of compassion and a lust for life. He really believed in helping other people. I can’t remember much from this period of time either. My memories start to recollect around November of that year. 

My best friend was done with me. So was Marie. So was everyone else I know. They wanted nothing to do with me. They were upset that I was upset. That’s all it really was. Marie was upset that I was upset with her and my best friend was upset that I wouldn’t talk to him about how upset I was. So I was going into the new year with a very minimal amount of close friends and tons of grief. 

It went on like that for a month or two. My best friend eventually forgave me. Marie came around too, but that took a little longer. 

I remember, one night, I was with two of my good friends when Marie called me. She said,

“[My name], I cut myself, and it’s really deep. I’m scared.”

When I got home, I snuck out the back door and ran to go see her. She was at the local park, smoking with her friend and her brother. I was a little disappointed. I ran up to her to go see her. she invited me to come smoke with them. I obliged. I hated every second of it. The fact that she was using the drugs as a way to hide from what had happened. It didn’t sit well with me. I was worried about her. I was terrified for her.

I just remembered that happened before my grandpa died and not after, sorry. 

I guess the clearest point of this all that I can think of was March of the new year. We were pretty close.

Things got intense. More intense than they had ever been before. We started exchanging photos. Sexting. At the expense, I think, of really confronting how we felt. We settled for something that bordered on reality, but was very far from it in practice. However, an almost-good thing can never really last. 

In late April, she came out to me as a lesbian. 

I don’t have anything against lesbians. This particular occurrence has happened to me numerous times, in fact. It’s a little sad but I try not to think about it too much. I actually talk to one of my lesbian exes a lot. It’s nice. Their love for women is much more akin to mine than any of my straight male friends. 

Marie and I didn’t talk to each other for three months after that, until late one night when I was traveling. According to her, my timing was excellent. While I was across the country, she was staying with a friend, and one of the people who was with her was applying great pressure to engage in some activities. Knowing that I prevented this was a small little victory for me.

I called her again the night after that. This time, she was at home. It didn’t take long for things to get intimate. At least, as intimate as you can get over the phone. Writing this right now, all I can think of is how much I hate that it happened. 

Things went on like this for some time. We were semi-intimate with each other and we were each other’s emotional punching bags when we needed one. And we were both okay like this until one day, things really took a nose dive. 

I was sitting in one of our schools many outdoor areas, leaned up against a fire hydrant, talking to my friends. I’m always looking for Marie at this point, and eventually she comes up to me and she says,

“Don’t be mad.”

“Why would I be mad?”

“My friend invited me to have a threesome with her and her boyfriend. I think I might go. Please, don’t be mad.”

“It’s okay, I’m not mad.” I was furious. 

My inability to confront people is one of my more toxic traits. I feel that this particular instance really demonstrates that.

The bell rang, and she walked away, and I walked away. I spent my next two classes with nothing on my mind but how mad I was. When I didn’t see her at lunch, it only upset me more. I felt like I was nothing to her. She was my rock, my everything, but I was always secondary to her. It’s not like we were together or anything, but it still hurt quite a bit. I thought we had some sort of understanding. 

I was walking to my locker, just trying to put all the extra energy I had somewhere. I had to get books for my French class, which Marie and I had together. As I’m walking, I’m not really looking up or around me because I’m so withdrawn from everything. So, it’s not surprising that I didn’t see her walk up to me. But I did see her try to hug me, and my immediate response was one that I will regret for some time. 

She comes up, out of nowhere, to hug me, and instead of embracing her, I catch her arm before it can come up under me, and push her away. And she goes back about two feet. And I walk away. And I’m about twenty feet away before I realize what I did and call her to apologize. And the she comes and finds me and yells at me. And then we didn’t talk for another two months. 

But come November, we’re talking again. And come November nineteenth, I’m her boyfriend. And we slept together. And we were always on top of each other wherever we were. And I think it distracted me from how much I sucked. I changed, and for the worst. I no longer tried to love her. I don’t think I wanted to. I think that everything that happened between us made me a much worse person. 

Eventually, we did break up. It’s been, I think, a year now since then. I’m sorry if this isn’t a very well-put piece of writing. I did try to make it enjoyable. The details get a little fuzzy. I just needed to get this out there. 

For whoever ends up reading this. Trust me, it gets better. There is better out there for you. If something isn’t meant to be, it really isn’t meant to be. True love waits. 

[nikanndros]

The ‘we met on craigslist’ AU. Part 1. 

It starts, embarrassingly enough, with an ad from Craigslist:

> personals > strictly platonic > Dramatic fake date for function

I’m a 21 y.o theatre student (male), writing a thesis on the relationship between performance and the awareness of the audience. You don’t care about that. I’m an actor offering to give you the most dramatic night of your life. I’ll be your date to any event/function/family gathering, and convince your friends/family members that I’m either: the biggest mistake of your life or the best thing that ever happened to you. Up to you. I’m very good at what I do.

-

Damen is one bottle of wine and three shots of griva (a terrible mix, do not recommend) deep, when he decides to message the guy.

Hi. My family is hosting a valentine’s day event. In attendance will be my ex-girlfriend of the past three years who is also my brother’s current girlfriend of the past two. Do you want to come?

The reply the next morning, when Damen is nursing a very regrettable hangover, is a simple: Yes.

-

Craiglist Guy turns out to be named Laurent. He gives Damen a very complicated explanation of his thesis, but it pretty much boils down to whether a performance is still a performance if the audience doesn’t know it’s happening. Laurent is happy to make Damen’s family event his performance. He requests to see all of Damen’s social media for research and then also apparently has a long stalk of Jokaste’s instagram.

On the night of the party, Laurent arranges to meet Damen at his place, so that they can arrive together. Despite Damen giving Laurent access to his entire online life, all Laurent has given in return is his name. Damen’s not really concerned about what Laurent looks like - despite his apparent preference for blondes, Damen has dated all sorts of people. Just about anyone would be believable. Still, when there’s a knock at his door, and he comes face to face with Laurent for the first time…

“Damen,” Laurent says, after Damen has been standing silently in his doorway for an awkward amount of time.

“Uh,” Damen says. “Hi.”

Yeah, this will work. Laurent is beautiful. He’s six foot of golden glory. He looks like he was born from the ocean, fully formed and then pushed onto a catwalk. There should be a choir of angels that follow him around to really complete the look. Damen is in trouble.

“Is that what you’re wearing?” Laurent asks.

Damen looks down out himself. “...Yes?” The black suit pants, white shirt, black tie combo is a classic. Laurent does not look like he agrees.

He pushes past Damen into the apartment, and Damen would probably think that was rude but he’s also very distracted by the confidence in Laurent. Laurent takes control like it’s natural to him; he walks straight into Damen’s bedroom.

By the time Damen follows him, Laurent has opened up Damen’s closet. “Ditch the tie,” Laurent says, “and roll up your sleeves.”

Damen’s not going to pretend it isn’t kind of hot that Laurent doesn’t even turn around while Damen complies, he just expects his orders to be followed. “Why?” Damen asks.

“You look too put together in all your pictures with your ex,” Laurent says. “We’re going to present you as a happier, more relaxed version of yourself. Trust me, she’s going to hate it.”

“I’m not really…” Damen trails off.

“What.”

“I don’t want to make her unhappy,” Damen says. “I mostly just… didn’t want to go to this thing alone.”

“Do you forgive her for fucking your brother?”

“I don’t hate her.”

“You don’t forgive her though.”

Damen doesn’t reply to that. He doesn’t like to think about himself as someone who holds grudges, but he also wouldn’t be adverse to some minor misfortune befalling Jokaste. Nothing too serious. Just like, she always just misses the bus for the rest of her life or something.

Laurent tears through Damen’s wardrobe, talking as he goes. “You went to France last year with her?” The photos are on instagram still.

“It was a surprise trip,” Damen says. He doesn’t like to think of the romance, the sweet gestures that Jokaste would make that made her seem like someone he could-- He brought it up to Nikandros once, and he’d told Damen it was Jokaste being manipulative. Doing kind things to overshadow all the fights they’d had and the way she’d sometimes ignore his messages for hours on end. “French was my second major. I was going to finish my business degree over there, but…”

“But?” Laurent prompts. He considers a red shirt and then discards it.

“We had a pregnancy scare right before the cut off date, so I decided to stay.”

At that, Laurent stops and turns around to give Damen an incredulous look. “So your girlfriend faked pregnant so you wouldn’t move away to France.”

“No,” Damen says, and then he sits down on the bed. “Shit.”

“Your heart was in the right place,” Laurent says, in a very awkward tone.

Damen raises an eyebrow at him.

“I don’t know,” he says. “I’m not great at sympathy.”

“You’re an actor.”

Laurent sighs. “Alright,” he says. He faces Damen properly and walks to him slowly. “Damen,” Laurent continues, with a new kind of intensity. He rests his palm against Damen’s neck, gently prompts him to look up. “I’m sorry she did that to you. I can’t imagine how you feel but, I’ve come to know you and I know that you’ll get past this. You’re going to be amazing.”

His eyes are very blue. Damen swallows. “That was…”

Laurent drops his hand and his expression goes back to apathy. “Insincere,” he finishes for him. He goes back to the closet and pulls out a knit blue sweater. “Where’d you get this?”

It’s well worn, the collar loose from time and the sleeves hanging long. “My mother gave it to me years ago,” Damen says. He frowns. “It’s not suitable for the event.”

Laurent shrugs. Then he starts unbuttoning his own shirt.

“Oh,” Damen says, and then he, absurdly, turns away like he’s a shy thirteen year old again. “What are you doing?”

“I need a costume,” Laurent says.

“As a vagabond?”

“No,” Laurent replies, and Damen turns around because suddenly he’s speaking in a thick, French accent. “I am your young and passionate french lover and you’re the happiest you’ve ever been.”

Laurent is in tight black skinny jeans and Damen’s oversized sweater. It’s large enough on him to bare the sharp lines of his collarbones and make it obvious that he’s not wearing a shirt underneath. He looks like he belongs on the cover of a fashion magazine. Damen’s pretty sure he’s forgotten how to breathe.

“Is it okay if I kiss you?” Laurent asks.

“Yes,” Damen says.

“Oh,” Laurent looks surprised. “I assumed you weren’t a fan of public displays of affection. You and your ex look more like friends in all your pictures.”

“What?” Damen says. Then, oh. Laurent was asking if he could kiss Damen in front of his family. For the act. The acting thing. Not real kissing, in Damen’s bedroom, with Laurent wearing Damen’s clothes. “No, I mean, it’s okay. I’m meant to be cool and relaxed now right?”

Damen’s a firm believer of keeping behaviour like that in the bedroom. It’s not that he’s a prude, he just likes to think of his love as something intimate, something to be kept away from prying eyes.

Laurent gives Damen a look that lets him know that he did not pull off that excuse at all. “Do you have netflix?” Laurent asks, heading back out into the lounge room. “Let’s watch something.”

“We should leave soon,” Damen replies. As much as he’d like to Netflix and chill with Laurent, they do have a plan.

“We’re going to be late,” Laurent tells him. “We were so busy fucking all afternoon that we lost track of time. I didn’t even have a chance to go home and put on something appropriate.”

If only, Damen thinks. He sits down on the couch with Laurent and they put something mindless on while Damen pretends he’s not ridiculously attracted to the unpaid actor sitting next to him.

“Your French accent is good,” Damen says, when he finally thinks of something neutral to say.

“My mother is from Grenoble,” Laurent tells him. He hasn’t dropped out of the accent at all since he started speaking with it. “It’s convenient that you’re into France and not somewhere else. My Russian accent is a little heavy-handed.”

“How many people have you done this with?”

Laurent smiles. “Only one. Last week it was this guy who knew his family was going to be judgemental about the whole gay thing. He introduced me as his boyfriend and I took the brunt of it. I was the most awful date anyone could ask for.”

“Doesn’t being awful kind of make it worse for the guy?”

“No,” Laurent says. “Because when he introduces them to his actual boyfriend, everyone is going to be relieved that at least I’m gone.”

“Ah,” Damen nods.

“Am I going to have to deal with another coming out tonight?”

Damen can’t help it, he laughs at that. “No,” he says. “I have two mothers and a father. They were very accepting of the bisexual thing.”

“Hmm.” Laurent gives him a considering look.

“What?”

He shakes his head. “We might as well go soon.”