#two posts in one day? procrastination truly does do wonders for me

[teddyseong]

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ posts when you're dating the enha hyung line

✧.* before you read: each hyung has their own y/n and they interact with each other! // tried to include different skin tones in the pictures so that everyone can feel included ♡ ✧.* cw: cheating mention (no real cheating, everyone is just dramatic), jakehoon are referred to as "fruity", food mention, riki says he's starving (he's not he's just dramatic), hoon's is a lil suggestive and the maknaes hate it, stealing mention (once again with riki at the scene of the crime), wonie uses the knife emoji

⍣ ೋ rest under the cut!

✧.* bonus info: hee is ezrealmain, jay is watermelonsugar, jake is aussieinstein, hoon is kimyunasson, sunoo is angleordevil (mispelling on purpose iykyk), won is gardensheep (basic i know), and riki is rikijackson420

[groenendaelfic]

A year and a bit ago, I was procrastinating on Reddit as one does, scrolling through r/television's weekly What are you watching and what do you recommend? post, when one of the comments caught my eye.

Young Royals. It's gay and no one has aids.

It said.

That was it, nothing else.

Somehow at that moment that was enough for me to check it out, in a right time, right place kind of way, or maybe it was simply fate. It's certainly not how I've been recommending the show, and yet it worked.

I proceeded to binge Young Royals that night and the following day, giggling and crying and clutching my pillow telling my so that this this is the show I've been wanting all my life, and then I watched it again and again and wondered how I'd ever survive waiting over ten days for season 2 to come out. (cute, right?)

The solution was of course writing fic. And so over the next two days Their Own Medicine was born.

362,194 posted words later, and many more waiting in assorted wip documents and my dtf fic ideas notebook, we've reached the one year anniversary of me posting my first Young Royals fic.

And what a year it's been! Thank you so much everyone for this wonderful journey. I know I'm not always the best at answering comments or reblogging stuff (mostly because I'm shy and want to do it properly and plan out novel length replies in my head which then weirdly enough don't write themselves down), but words cannot express how much I appreciate all of you and how much the Young Royals famdom has come to mean to me.

I've met so many wonderful people and had so many thought provoking discussions, mused over a lot of fic ideas and chatted over what-ifs, it's truly enriched my life (and turned my procrastination time into fic writing time, which has certainly been much more enjoyable, sorry not sorry Reddit).

You all rock and I hope we have many more happy years full of fics and gifs and polls ahead of us. I for one can't wait for what's to come.

Cheers and I hope you have a nice Christmas!

[sqtorux]

🫁 hello friend! i only have one (1) thing due tonight so i fully caught up on your works as a means of procrastinating <3 this ask is only about your two most recent posts for the sake of brevity + not spending too much time since i promised myself to get back on the grind after sending this lmao

‘fuzzy menace’ … my favourite thing is asking you to guess my fav parts even though 1) you’re never given an opportunity to guess and 2) it’s always the same characters. anyways it’s nanami and toji. 

“what’s this gentleman doing on my side of the bed i wonder?” fdkshfds ,,, great start tbh and it’s SO NANAMI. nanami tends to be (understandably!) portrayed very seriously, so seeing a more playful (albeit still stoic) side of him here was a pleasure <3 he sounds a little teasing too ?? my lord. the first line is obvi my fav but “absolutely. how outrageous.” is a close second !! short but sweet, and his voice is so strong through out it <3 look at my man watch him go!

toji is the complete opposite in energy and i fw it so much. reader and toji are always giving each other soo much shit (even if on this occasion it’s predominantly him). the switch from toji to bald toji is so … it’s so him but it was truly awful to witness. i have 1 (many) fear(s) and it’s my fav character getting hit with the jason todd special (ugly haircuts. usually a buzzcut.) toji is realising my worst nightmare rn.”fuck does he think he is smirking like that on your bed” he’s so dumb LMAO. look at that little hypocrite go.

‘look at you go’. guess my fav parts. one day i’m going to make you guess and not tell you and comment on every individual piece. it’s suguru and toji.

now is it any surprise i’m in love with suguru … “can you dance again for me princess?” i’m not even big on pet names but lordy lord hello saviour. fun fact but i LOVE dancing even though i haven’t taken lessons since i was 13 (i’ve been considering picking it back up ?? i’m not sure though, i feel like since i’m an adult it’s too late to get back into old hobbies i’ve fallen out of and take lessons, yk? plus it's so expensive ...) having that shit recorded would be mortifying i don’t blame reader in these pieces at all. “you’ll keep asking if i give in just once” to “then you can give in again and again yeah?” kill me RIGHT NOW. oh my lord. i would give in too.

sorry i would write on toji but !! ugh my brain is fried. you can probably tell since there’s a lot of personal interjections this time ,,, also suguru has been haunting my brain the past week. i want to write something for him so bad but i’ve had no ideas ?? it’s so annoying. also i’ve been too busy with schoolwork to sit down and write anything

looking back. god this ask is so long.

RAHHH ITS LUNG ANON

you're ... reading,, my shit.. during a break... THATS A HUGE HONOUR GR breaks are for only the most enjoyable stuff bc it's limited and the impeding doom of working awaits but you chose to read the stuff here omfg i will scream at your face (lovingly).

if you made me guess your faves id always go with the big three (suguru, nanami and toji) bc i know you like wdym anon we've known each other since our uterus debutation obviously.

ALSO YOU DANCE let's gooo!!! i do too and just like you, i haven't danced in a while but im broke as fuck so im self taught filming covers back in those days ah. hobbies as an adult are so hard for real, adulting is hard where is the return ticket i would like to be a tween again i know what to do this time. i think.

maybe when your workload becomes a little lighter you could type out the suguru thoughts plaguing your mind ;)

[katierosefun]

i originally had a september wrap-up post queued but then tumblr fucking ate it, which made me very angry because i didn’t want to re-type the whole thing, but i’m procrastinating, so here i am, re-typing the whole thing of all the things i watched/consumed over the month of september, even if it’s a little late: (it’s fine, i didn’t watch a whole ton of stuff except...a lot of kdramas lmao. oh, and visions.) 

k-dramas: 

beyond evil 

okay, so i think this has been on my rec list for literally forever now, but...besties, i’m on my fifth watch of this goddamn show in the span of maybe two months, so if that doesn’t tell you how much this show has been a comfort/eating my brain lately, idk what will. 

i literally never shut up about this show, but if you’ve somehow been missing from my blog for a little bit, a quick summary: lee dong sik (played by the ever-wonderful shin ha kyun) was accused of murder + kidnapping a few young women, including his own twin sister 20 years ago. he’s lived a pretty quiet life on his own, and now 20 years later, his whole world is turned upside down again when hotshot new inspector han joo won (played by the talented yeo jin goo) comes into this little town. when the murders start up again, these two are thrown into a hellishly complex mystery. will throw you in for a hellish loop. i think my thoughts best summarize this show as come for the murder mystery, stay for whatever the hell joo won and dong sik have. 

okay, but all joking aside about how much i love joo won and dong sik (because...i truly do love them), this show was incredibly healing. once again: this show has quickly become a comfort show, basically to the point where i just watch it whenever i feel down (which happens to be a lot these days). idk man. humans aren’t meant to carry burdens on their own and all that stuff. sometimes u just need to remind yourself that. 

the crowned clown 

so, after watching beyond evil the fourth time, i realized that maybe i wanted to watch some of the actors’ other works. that was how i found myself watching the crowned clown, which...is an excellent kdrama now available on netflix (also on viki for free, just as beyond evil is). honestly, it’s been a hot second since i’ve watched historical dramas (saeguks), so i was a little unsure what to expect, but this show. bro. this show reminded me just how much i love historical dramas, because the court politics? the costumes? the music? the acting? fantastic. 

basically, this show is about the young clown (ie. performer) ha seon (played by yeo jin goo) who now has to replace the king, who might be like...two seconds away from snapping (if he hasn’t already). the reason they’re able to do this is because they look exactly identical despite not being related. 

this story is honestly wonderful. i loved it, and it’s an interesting way to look at the story behind the actual king (because. apparently this king was a real person, and i think his story has inspired quite a few other korean movies/shows). i thought yeo jin goo was brilliant in this show, and it’s really no surprise he became the youngest person ever nominated for a baeksang award because of this series. i was truly blown away by just how versatile he proved to be of an actor, and his dynamics with the other characters (the queen, the secretary being my fave, as well as the old eunuch jo), i just...bro. i’ll admit i wasn’t the biggest fan of the romance (don’t get me wrong! it was sweet!), but i think that might have been because this was so court politics heavy, and i adored it for that. if you’ve never watched a historical drama but want to and just don’t know where to start, i highly recommend this. 

d.p. 

bro....this show was dark. i watched it all in 2 days (pretty easy to do, considering it’s 6 episodes and maybe 40-50 minutes long per episode), and i needed to lie down. this is just one of those shows that i feel is...very important to watch, even if the content matter isn’t very bright. 

basically, dp is about two deserter pursuit officers: ahn jun ho (played by jung hae in) and han ho yul (played by koo kyo hwan). deserter pursuit officers are basically people who chase after people who deserted their military post--and for those who don’t know, being in the military is mandatory for men in south korea. this is the result of the armistice between the north and the south--basically, since north korea never agreed to an actual peace treaty, south korea is constantly under threat of war, which is why men need to serve at least a few years. (this is why a lot of actors + kpop band members often take breaks from their careers--to fulfill their military service time. because yup, even celebrities aren’t exempt from service!) 

anyways, this show really doesn’t pull back their punches. major trigger warnings for things like intense harrassment, suicide, domestic violence...it really does capture just how dark life can be, and also how toxic the military can be for men. because of that, i felt this show was incredibly well-crafted, incredibly nuanced, and in the end, i just felt sad. that said though, there was a hopeful ending, and i’m glad that this show was renewed for a second season, as i think this show is just...really important. 

squid game 

okay, so i don’t want to be that person, but your girl was watching squid game right after it came out, so i was here before the hype train--but okay, okay, i digress. (i am glad that this show is getting hype. i feel it’s very important that people watch this show.) 

if you haven’t noticed how squid game’s climbed to #1 on netflix worldwide (i think, anyways), well, then...buddy. squid game is about a bunch of people who have the chance to earn lots of money by playing what seems like innocent children’s games. (spoilers: they are far from innocent.) 

this show scarred me, to be honest. i needed to watch something lighthearted after this, just because it was so intense. lots of trigger warnings for blood and gore, as well as just. losing faith in humanity. but also, like dp, i felt this show was necessary. it was incredibly well-constructed in that it showed just what desperate people will do in order to survive, as well as exactly what a terrible capitalistic society will do to the working class. it’s depressing and sad, but also incredibly chilling because like. you can’t help but watch the characters and think, but would i do the same thing? i just want to pay off my own debt and take care of my family. wouldn’t i do the same thing? 

i won’t say more of this show for fear of spoilers, but. let me just say. that i really am glad this show exists. i hope people actually notice what the fuck it’s saying about our current system too, because hm, maybe i just want to suck the fun out of things, but there’s something very disturbing about how people are already cute-ifying this show (ie. “this is what i would wear to the squid games! :D” and “look at these squid-game inspired cookies! :D”, as if this show didn’t just deliver a heart-crushing message about capitalism + how the wealthy fuck over anyone who isn’t the 1% BUT ANYWAYS) 

tv 

star wars: visions 

lately i’ve been feeling weird about star wars for lots of different reasons which i don’t particularly feel like addressing today, but. visions really reminded me why i fell in love with star wars in the first place. i think for starters, well. it’s no surprise when i say that i felt an intense amount of joy of seeing east asian cultures so beautifully incorporated and respected in this show (no surprise seeing that this show was literally crafted by japanese anime studios), but like. it really was. a beautiful thing. i cried at least once per episode, either because i was so in awe of the animation and the themes or because i was just in awe that this thing exists. 

i think my favorite episode had to be the village bride--there was something so incredibly powerful about seeing someone who looked a bit like me say i am a jedi. what an iconic line. what an iconic story about a sad traumatized gal deciding to step up and fight, actually. peak star wars. 

but besides all that...i really did feel like...this show captured the beauty and essence of what makes star wars actually good. the themes of good versus evil, a lot of stuff between siblings (bro....the twins and lop and ocho FUCKED ME UP), choosing to have brighter and better days ahead (the village bride, the ninth jedi, the duel, tatooine rhapsody)...like, i really loved how each episode really took everything that was good about star wars and just turned it into something even more beautiful. this series will stay with me for a long time, i think--and i am very grateful for the people involved in this project for reminding me why i fell in love with this universe in the first place. :”)

[mimosaeyes]

If things don’t work out and he loses Jon tomorrow, Martin wants to remember him happy.

Post-199. Jon and Martin reflect on what has and could have been. 1.4k

Thanks @emberidzae and @distortion-noodles for the quick beta!

As they emerge into the hallway, Georgie pokes her head out of what must be her and Melanie’s bedroom. “Blankets and such are down that way,” she says, pointing. “Help yourself, yeah?”

If Martin weren’t observing Jon so closely, he might have missed the way he jumps at the words. Jon recovers swiftly, though. “Right. Thanks, Georgie.”

Martin hasn’t yet closed the door behind them. He leans back into the room to relay the information to Basira, only to find her already nodding and waving him off without looking up. “I heard her.”

She’s leaning against the table they’d all stood around while arguing about the plan. In her hands are two flat metal discs on a chain. It takes Martin a moment to place where he’d last seen them: hanging around Daisy’s neck.

He was slipping too far into the Lonely at the time to really pay attention, but Martin did notice that the dog tags disappeared after Daisy swore to resist the Hunt. He’s always assumed she got rid of them, destroyed them in a bid to purge the memory of her work for Section 31 — and the less than legal things she did besides.

“Found them while tracking her,” Basira explains, clearly guessing his train of thought. “She stopped wearing them, but she still carried them around. As a reminder, you know? Until…”

Until she gave in to the Entity calling her name. Until she left her humanity behind to protect her friends.

Martin swallows past a sudden lump in his throat. “If you need to talk, Basira—”

“I’m good,” she cuts him off. “I’m managing.”

He knows it’s the truth; they’d had plenty of time to catch up at the base of the cliff while Jon was recording. So he nods and leaves it at that, saying only, “Come find us anyway, if you change your mind.”

Her expression softens even as her voice takes on a wry edge. “Go on,” she chivvies, “go be soppy with your boyfriend somewhere else.”

“Somewhere far away from you, you mean?”

Basira snaps her fingers. “Got it in one. Always knew you were the smart one.”

The bedding Georgie mentioned turns out to be a huge pile of unrolled sleeping bags and unfolded blankets. The sight is amusingly incongruous for the three seconds it takes Martin to realise that these used to belong to the cult members, who have since been dragged back to their domains.

Gingerly, he steps forward to take what they need. Jon helps, his face stony.

They duck into the first empty room they come across and lay down enough padding to save their backs from the hard floor. Martin fusses with the makeshift bed while Jon stands and starts pacing.

Everything in Martin is saying to go to him and wrap him up in another hug, make up for the one Jon had pulled out of while his hands were still shaking and his cheeks still wet with tears. But he watches the tense lines of his body and thinks that Jon would only flinch away from comfort if he offered it again. So he sits down, leaving some space for Jon to join him when he’s ready, and waits.

It takes several minutes for Jon to look up at him. When he does, he bites his lip and says, “I’m sorry. It’s already been decided, I know, and I’m sick of rehashing the same old arguments with you.”

Martin lets out a short exhale. “I know. If the plan doesn’t work — I don’t want to spend our last hours together fighting.”

Jon blanches a little. “Hours,” he repeats softly, starting to shake his head. “I wish we had more time.”

“You don’t mean, uh… put it off, do you?” Martin doesn’t think he does, but it’s worth clarifying.

“What? Oh, no. Of course not.”

The huff of laughter that accompanies Jon’s words is gratifying. Martin decides to lean into it. “Because that would be a truly record-breaking act of procrastination,” he points out.

Jon smiles lopsidedly. “Speak for yourself. You haven’t seen me try to start writing an essay in university.”

“Fair enough,” Martin concedes, smiling back at him.

After a moment, Jon sobers again. “I mean, maybe we wouldn’t have been together, if not for all this, but — if I had to do it all over again, I think I’d waste less time. I’d… I don’t know, I’d tell you I’d missed you while I was abroad. Maybe admit that there were a couple of times when I didn’t really need your help looking something up, but called you anyway, so I could hear your voice.”

Martin blinks, momentarily surprised. Then he crows, “I knew it! I knew there wasn’t really a place called Desert Bluffs. I looked for mentions of it in statements for days, and the whole time you were — ha, you were bluffing.”

Good-naturedly, Jon rolls his eyes. “Yes, yes, I’m terrible at coming up with fake names on the spot.”

“But that would mean…” Martin furrows his brow at Jon. “That was when you were in America. And you already…”

Jon has been gradually closing the distance between them as they’ve talked. Now he eases himself down next to Martin, as always favouring the leg Sasha had once dug a worm out of with a corkscrew, and says simply, “Yes. I already knew I loved you. Maybe I wasn’t in love with you, not yet, but… yes.”

Martin will never get used to hearing Jon say he loves him. He knows he does, and it still takes his breath away every time. But right now, with a handful of hours until the morning, it makes him feel like the air has been punched out of his chest.

“You’re right,” he says quietly. “I wish we’d gotten our act together sooner.”

Beside him, Jon pulls his knees up to his chest, wrapping one arm around his legs and extending his other hand in Martin’s direction. Martin holds onto his hand, and they stay like that for a spell.

They’ve made an unspoken compact to not only avoid fighting on this last night, but also to keep things light. They’ve had so few wholly good days together, Martin reflects. If things don’t work out and he loses Jon tomorrow, he wants to remember him happy. He wants to make the time they have count.

He nudges Jon, letting his voice grow teasing again. “Hey. If I got to do it all over again, I’d ask you out on a kayaking date.”

“That’s... pretty specific,” Jon remarks.

“Tim gave me the idea. Early, early on, when he would make fun of me for having a crush on the boss. I’d bring you some tea and come back to my desk to find he’d texted me a link to a nearby kayak rental service. It was a different one each time, too.”

“You have to admire the commitment.” Jon pauses. “Can two people even fit in the same kayak?”

“I thought of that. There are tandem kayaks. I was going to win you over with my superior rowing skills.”

Jon laughs. “I think it would’ve worked.”

From just outside the door comes a rustling noise. Basira, probably, holding an armful of sleeping bag and looking for a place to bed down for the night.

After she goes past, Jon says ruefully, “We should probably get some rest.”

He looks about as tired as Martin feels. But everything now seems tinged with an air of finality. If they go to sleep, it might be the last time they curl up together. And it’ll make the morning come sooner.

It’s irrational, but he blurts out, “Not yet. I… I’m not ready.”

To say goodnight. To say goodbye.

Jon cants his head at him, and Martin wonders how transparent his thoughts are, playing across his features.

“Me neither,” Jon murmurs. He leans in closer and presses a kiss to Martin’s forehead. “Me neither.”

They stay up and talk, facing each other in bed. Neither of them has ever had a sleepover at a friend’s place, they discover, and yet this feels like that. Jon tells him about the lake he and Basira traversed, making it sound absolutely dreadful without Martin there to help with rowing. Martin starts describing Life of Pi and other movies Jon may never get to watch. Several times, he asks if Jon is sleeping with his eyes open, then laughs as he denies it.

In the end, Martin doesn’t even remember falling asleep — only that Jon is there with him, and that’s almost enough.

[also available on AO3 here]

[my TMA fic on AO3]

[czarojay]

LONG POST

Someone please stop me from writing the ghost tubbo idea i had a month ago to procrastinate on the dreamon au

Because like i had this AU and maybe if i write about it here it will stop me??? I can’t actually find the conversation on discord where i talked about it so i’m probably just gonna throw stuff here from memory and change half of it

Feel free to write a fanfic inspired by this, but 1. tag me 2. i’d appreciete if you credited the idea or at least said i inspired you ^^’

Ok so Tubbo died during the Festival. Like I don’t care if in this a Respawn!AU or Permadeath, irl or whatever. Tubbo doesn’t respawn and dies in Tommy’s arms. 

Assuming it’s a world with Respawn, Tommy just waits for Tubbo’s body to disintegrate or whatever the bodies in this AU do, as Techno massacrates people in the background, he just repeats to himself something along the lines of “C-come on Tubbo! Respawn already!”, but his friend stays limp in his arms, growing cold. 

In the end, they need to flee, like they did during the festival. Feel free to make Wilbur even more insane or evil whatever you prefer and make him leave the body saying either don’t take it, he’s a traitor, just like Eret or just it’s going to be a dead weight (ha, a pun!) (that was so inappropriate to the scene sorry ignore this), so they leave the body and it’s buried in the Manburg just like in the later Tommy’s stream where he zoomed onto the grave with a sign saying that here lies the traitor Tubbo. 

But you can also make Tommy carry his dead friend’s body all the way to Pogtopia, anger and grief clashing, still in the denial stage, hoping Tubbo will come back. Like Tubbo dies all the time! He’s just such a clingy, clumsy big man right? He will come back, right?! Tommy rests Tubbo somewhere in the Pogtopia on a makeshift bed hoping it will make the healing faster and as Techno and Wilbur talk ‘downstairs’ he realizes something. Tubbo isn’t coming back. He would be back by now normally. 

He’s shook to the core with the realization and shakingly goes down to Techno and Wilbur. The pit happens, but at the end, even after Techno’s speech about the language of violence, maybe Tommy snaps? Maybe Tommy yells how Tubbo isn’t coming back? Maybe the older men, practically brothers to Tommy, realise that Tubbo is nowhere to be seen? Maybe they realise the boy, the spy, the victim of the situation is dead? Maybe Niki stares and gasps in horror in the background and is the one who goes to Tommy first to comfort him and help him with the wounds from both the pit and the whole today? Maybe Wilbur stares in horror at his fists, realising he’s the one who put Tubbo in danger? He wanted Tubbo to do the speech, he made Tubbo run back and forth between the two leaders, maybe if he didn’t pressure Tubbo as much, Schlatt wouldn’t have noticed. Wilbur falls to the ground and sits with his head between the knees for a long time, wondering about what he did wrong. 

Technoblade?  He’s awkward and we all know it. He may be a god of PvP, the best farmer in Minecraft, but he’s still awkward. Of course he wants to comfort his little brother, but what can he really do? He’s at loss and still hasn’t fully accepted what he’s done. He killed Tubbo, but he had thought he’d respawn/survive(I really went at the beginning and said this can be also for permadeath au and then wrote it all about respawn au but whatcha gonna do huh). 

Overall the tension in Pogtopia is high, but to be fair, so is Manburg. People didn’t know about the execution and (you know what im just gonna keep going as if the respawn au was planned) the brush with death, even if they respawned, was never pleasant. It’s even worse when they somehow find out Tubbo didn’t respawn. Some people are happy with the fact, others are in shock and grief. 

And here can end chapter 1! Or at least it feels natural for me to cut off somewhere here! Idk really it all depends on your writing style. I'm not gonna dictate how you’re supposed to write idk myself neither. 

Assuming Tommy took the body with him, he later goes on to the only place where Tubbo found peace. Where Tubbo went during the war, the only place where he wasn’t bothered, where he was safe and truly free, without a leader or a dictator over him. Tommy went to Tubbo’s jungle base. 

He took the body with him, not letting anyone of Pogtopia know where he’s going, not wanting a Wilbur or a Technoblade, especially a Technoblade with him. He felt as though he needed to do this alone. He needed to make sure his friend, at least posthumously, gets the treatment he deserves. So he buried his best friend as he would bury a king. 

Tommy spends the night at the jungle base and awakes at night, by a greenish blue light. It’s not too strong, but it’s just enough to be felt. He rubs at his eyes, trying to awake himself, to see if he’s not seeing this, but there it is. A will-o-wisp floating in the middle of the building. Tommy gets up, picks up his sword and carefully maneuvers around the wooden beams with a collapsed floor, he gets to the centre. 

He gently cups his fingers and let’s the ember fall on his hands, but as soon as it touches them, there’s a bright flash and Tommy falls to the floor momentarily blinded. When he regains his sight he looks up and sees a ghost floating above him. Its back is turned to him, but he can tell it’s as confused as he is. But wait… He recognizes that shirt. It may be more bright and glowish, but… 

“TUBBO” he screams in the dead of the night, the nature suddenly quieting. The spirit turns around with phantom tears in their eyes “,Tommy?” they whisper and that was the moment both of them were sure of each other’s identity. 

Tommy rushes, tries to stand up and hug Tubbo, but he simply passes through the boy. 

As disheartening as that was, Tommy is still overjoyed to see Tubbo alive. Or at least here, as they soon agree that he is in fact dead. Feel free to put a flashback here, a new paragraph or whatever maybe a new chapter from tubbos perspective.

 The last thing Tubbo saw was a grim grin from Techno and a flash of blue and red fireworks. Here is a “how creative can you get” test! You can put somehow afterlife looks like, maybe something comes for Tubbo to go on, but he refuses? Maybe he sees nothing or everything is a blur? Maybe it was the last thing and the first thing he saw was Tommy’s crying face? Here is your free chappy for all the angst it can fit! Have fun go wild, turn on some sad music and let it ALL out! 

Tubbo and Tommy talk for long and Tommy tells Tubbo the fallout of his death and Tubbo tells Tommy what happened from his perspective. 

But here’s the funny thing, because I don’t know what you think, but… ghosts aren’t actually bound to places! They’re spirits they can go wherever they please! So Tubbo decided to stick around to Tommy. And as they travel and reach Pogtopia, they find out, Wilbur or Techno don’t see Tubbo. From a brief moment, where Tommy was sleeping and Tubbo broke away and went to see Manburg after the festival on his own eyes, he meets Schlatt and as he stops his breathing (he doesn’t need it, he’s dead, he just does it for comfort or out of habit), he’s scared, he think he’s noticed and waits for insults or a surprise or a sorry or a laugh, he feels something phase through him. Schlatt didn’t see him. Schlatt can’t see him. 

After a number of tests Tommy and Tubbo settle it. The leader can’t see the spirit. 

Niki can see him, it’s settled pretty much the day after Tommy came back, with a shout of fear and surprise and later happiness. 

Quackity can see him as it’s settled, when Tommy meets him in the forest and Quackity aside from being scared shitless by a teenager with netherite armour, he sees a disoriented, glitchy ghost behind the teenager, floating creepily, lighting up the forest around them in a sickly cyan light. 

Everyone can see Tubbo, but the people who caused his very death.

AND I’M DONE HERE. I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT. I CAN TRY TO THINK OF SOMETHING IF YOU ASK ME, BUT RN AS I’M WRITING THIS DOWN I DON’T KNOW. 

Reminder, if you want to write this plz credit the idea <3 Also holy shit this hit 1831 words how.

[pers-books]

First Lines Meme

I was tagged by @tea-and-procrastination - thank you!

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less  than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag 10 authors!

Before Breakfast (Holby City; Berena): “Where are you going?” Bernie asks, stirring back awake from a post-coital doze as Serena pushes back the bedcovers.

Crime Does Pay (Holby City; Berena): “What the hell do you think you’re doing here, Wolfe?” snaps Serena Campbell as her rival saunters through the door of the study she’s currently occupying without permission.

Two Elements and a UNIT medical officer almost meet (Sapphire & Steel): Silver looked around, wondering where the others were; Technicians weren't usually sent alone when there was a Time Fracture.

What's the Time Grandmother Wolfe? (Holby City; Berena): “C’mon Grandma, time for bed.”

Berenice Wolfe's Romantic Heart (Holby City; Berena): “Serena.”

The Secret Valentine (Holby City; Berena): Bernie Wolfe arrives at work at 8.30am on February 14th with no interest in Valentine’s Day: her husband is now an ex thanks to her divorce being finalised; her lesbian lover is now an ex thanks to her inability to prioritise what she wanted and said ex-lover’s lack of patience with her.

The Roommates (Holby City; Berena): Entering the Sixth Form at St Winifred’s Boarding School for Girls meant that the ‘gels’ (a truly infuriating pronunciation of an infantilising label for sixteen year olds, Serena felt) got to share a room with someone else instead of sharing a dorm.

A Little Tender Loving Care (Holby City; Berena): It’s been three weeks since Bernie Wolfe came back from her secondment in Kyiv.

The Black Archive (Doctor Who x Sapphire & Steel; Kate Stewart/Martha Jones): Dr Martha Jones follows her boss, Kate Stewart, into the Black Archive, then barely manages to avoid walking into Kate’s back when she stops dead a short distance inside the door.

Bernie (Holby City; Berena): Dr Serena Campbell arrives at the surgery where her best friend, Dr Bernie Wolfe, works simultaneously with Bernie’s long suffering office manager, Donna Jackson, and after a momentary bafflement Donna sighs and says, “Let me guess, she’s inside?”

Listening to the Rain (Holby City; Berena): It’s raining.

Jason's Wedding (Holby City; Berena): Fleur Fanshawe tuts softly when she glances into the rear view mirror and sees that her two colleagues and friends have fallen asleep on the backseat of her car.

The Touch of Her Hand (Holby City; Berena): Bernie knows Serena means nothing by it.

Kiss Me Like We're In Love (Holby City; Berena): “Thanks for letting me stay over last night,” Bernie says as she accepts a mug of strong, hot coffee from Serena, trying not to think too much about how adorable she looks with her hair mussed from sleep and wrapped in her thick bathrobe and flannel pyjamas.

The Thirst is Real (Holby City; Berena): “You’re staring again,” says a voice in Serena’s ear, startling her out of her rapt gaze across the bar at Albie’s.

The Hammock (Holby City; Berena): It’s been a long and tiring, but tiring in a satisfying way, day for Bernie Wolfe: she and her partner, Serena Campbell, have been working on the new garden design for Serena’s leafy detached, one that Bernie first came up with while overseas in Kyiv, then later embellished when she was apart from Serena at other times.

In the Closet (Holby City; Berena): “If anyone ever finds out about this, we’ll never live it down,” observes Bernie Wolfe with a huff.

Nobility (Holby City; Berena): “What am I going to do with you?” asks Serena worriedly as she patches up Bernie’s wounds.

The Return (Holby City; Berena): “Are you okay?” Serena’s question is asked calmly, but Bernie can hear the worry underlying her words.

Oblivious (Holby City; Berena): Jason walks back into the sitting room after fetching himself a drink and glances over at the sofa where his Aunty Serena and her friend Doctor Bernie have been sitting all evening watching episodes of World’s Strongest Man, Countdown, and the latest Mary Beard documentary with him.

So, is there a pattern? Well, there are two. Which are that if I don’t start with dialogue then I start with a bloody long opening sentence - or sometimes both! 

I can’t pick just one favourite opening line, but the opening lines to 10, 14, 15, and 20 are particularly strong contenders.

Okay, authors to play (if you wish!): @slightlyintimidating, @corvidden, @rauzadian, @doctorjameswatson, @professorflimflam, @wonkots42, @jinxedwood, @hokuspokusthings, @fortytworedvines, @apparitionism, @beezarre, @imagebender, @lapalfruity, @now-on-elissastillstands, @onaperduamedee, @sententiousandbellicose, @tebarambles, @ariverandasong, @thenthersthat, @bonnissance

[errthel]

Four, just Four

This is the fourth installment of my fanfiction that is twisted (hehe) from @tri3tri 's Second Wife AU, Tempest.

I have reached peak procrastination, and will continue ignoring my requirements until I have no choice than to do them, don't be like me, I have really bad habits.

To Florius, it was the first time in his immortal life that he was ever startles by a mere question. His golden eyes moved over to the freshman, he had a relaxed aura around him but his (e/c) eyes had lost it's glow making him look eerie.

"Hm... what do you want to know, surely you aren't interested in everything?" Florius' curiosity for the freshman had peaked even further and he was very much getting more interested in him

"Yeah you're right Florius-senpai, I wanna know who rule the Valley of Thorns." quick and calm

"It's a monarchy, like most kingdoms in Twisted Wonderland. The ruling family is the Draconia family and they're direct descendants of Maleficent."

"Maleficent?"

"One powerhouse of a magician she's one of the top five magicians in all of the lands."

"Is that so? Then did she use to rule over the Valley of Thorns?"

"Yeah, it's now passed down to her grandson, Malleus Draconia, he's also a part of the top five."

"Malleus..." Lucien felt an overwhelming amount of pressure when the name rolled off his lips

"Mhm, well right now the family has I think at least six members. Maleficent, Malleus, Malleus's parents, his concubine, Bellatrix and their son the heir, Victor..."

"A concubine? What about the queen?" Lucien said getting more interested in the royal family of the Valley of Thorns

"Well yeah, there is a queen, no one really knows anything about her though, not her name or what she looks like, nothing. Malleus seems keen on keeping the queen inside of the Valley of Thorns."

"Do they have any children?"

"Hm... now that I think about it, there are rumors that they have two daughters, one leading their military and the other leading magic studies. But it's weird, those two girls are older than the heir, they don't discriminate the gender of the heir in the Valley of Thorns, I wonder if anything happened."

"I see... then, thank you Florius-senpai, I will be going now..." Lucien said before walking back to his cottage

"I don't know why, but he seems a bit familiar... must be my memories getting mixed up, I am starting to get older after all..."

~

Lucien walked to his cottage in deep thought, he felt like he had spent an eternity to get there.

Malleus Draconia.

He remembers his grandmother wheezing that name after her nightmarish vision.

Is that person supposed to be his father? A sick psycho? One who just couldn't let go of an obviously hurting person? His behaviour is akin to that of a zoo keeper ignoring the sick animals.

Lucien couldn't take it, he wanted to do something, but being patient is a virtue, he should formulate a plan to get them out of that cage. He just regrets his stupidity when he forced himself to forget what his family looked like.

He sighs.

It seems he has to take things into his own hands.

~

The gloomy atmosphere of breakfast spoiled her appetite. Sitting beside her sister, who seemed like she was about to die of boredom. Infront of her was her father's concubine and infront of her sister was their half-brother, deeming them boring, the black haired lady looked over to one side of the long table and a monotonous scene greeted her eyes. Her father, in all his glory just staring off into the distance, he had barely touched his food and she was sure it was already ice cold.

"Renata, your mother didn't come down for breakfast."

Renata perked up when she heard her father mutter those words before she relaxed a bit and took a bite of her food.

After chewing for a painstakingly long time, she said "I don't know what is happening with mother, because it seems like someone is preventing me from meeting her." her response was as sharp as a whip as she glanced at the lime green haired guard beside her father

She heard the chair beside he screech indicating that her sister had had enough boredom and was ready to just leave.

"True, how can we know what mother does when some ridiculous person prevents us from even saying a hello. It's been like that for a few days, dear Father." hidden malice dripped from Sherry's mouth as she walked to the door of the dining room

Renate followed closely having enough of the sour soup that was served and shut the door with force.

"Waka-sama! Those two are getting out of hand, you should try to punish them." the lime green haired guard said in a small harsh whisper

"Now, now, Sebek, they are rather tame today. Also Victor, we are truly sorry for requesting for you to have breakfast here when you have just started out classes at Night Raven College. We'll prepare a mirror immediately." the deep polite words of the ancient being eased the people in the room

"Mhm."

"I am sorry, Lillia-sama!"

The ruby eyed Fae looked off into the open window. He sighs, he had a feeling that a great storm would pass over soon.

The two sisters walked synchronized, each carrying malice towards the king. They separated ways and left to their respective posts.

The lime green haired guard's gaze hardened, those two girls! They don't act like the princesses they were supposed to be. He knew that that woman was the worst person his lord could have children with, their children are uncooperative and rude.

The concubine bade her son good bye as he was escorted to a mirror leading to Night Raven College, she held a small smile in her youthful face, proud that her son was chosen to go to Night Raven College, just a bit angry that he was sorted into Pomefiore and not Diasomnia.

The heir clenched his teeth together, even when he was there, his father only talked to his daughters! What was the point of him being there?! Just an afterthought? No, he was done being an afterthought.

The king stayed silent before he sighed. It had been ten years since he got his wife and children back, they had tantrums even worse than this, but why does he have a sickening feeling like it's starting to get worse than this.

~

Lucien's lessons were surprisingly easy for him to comprehend, sure it had been only a week, but he was sure that he could survive. But one thing he wasn't so sure about was money. He wasn't able to find a place to convert his money to madols so he was basically broke. He wasn't so sure on how to gain money though.

Lucien walked around the campus after school to try to rack his brain for ways to get money.

Sell stuff? No, the school already has a school store.

Try to become a servant to one of these princes? No, he's very used to having his whole day to himself.

What could he do?

"Hey! Hey freshman!" realizing that the voice was referring to him, he quickly looked behind to see a short male with black hair and porcelain skin

"Ee- yes?" Lucien gave a lopsided smile making the other male's eyes sparkle

"Ohh! So it is true! You really are handsome! Why not join the Modeling Club?!" he said, extreme optimism exuding from his straightforward request

"Eh? Uh, I don't really think I'm cut out for that kind o-"

"You can earn money in this club."

"!"

"As I said, Lucien-chan, you can earn real money through this club, you need money don't you? Oh and also I'm Noel LeBlanche, a second year here." he gave Lucien a knowing smile making Lucien just look at him like he grew two heads

"LeBlanche-Senpai. You're right. I need money, so I guess I join the club?"

"Hm... LeBlanche-Senpai sounds weird, just call me Noel-Senpai or... Noel-chan?" he said using one of his long porcelain fingers to rub Luciens left pec through his uniform as he smirked a little

"Noel-Senpai!"

"Fine~ suit yourself. Well then, I'll bring you to the club room so you can start earning money as soon as possible!" he said grabbing Lucien's hand and just running off with him in tow

Lucien felt powerless in Noel's hand, he felt like paper just being aggressively carried by the wind, or in this case, Noel. He feels like he's going to barf.

~

The blond freshman entered his cottage with a tired face, he came back from club work and was exhausted.

He looked over with a smile to his friends desk to see that Lucien was missing and he screamed.

"Lucien! Where are yo?!-"

"Brier-sama, he's over there." the newly showered Linden said gesturing over to the first years bed

"Eh? But he always did his homework at his desk after classes."

"Well, he recently joined a club." Hawthorne said popping up out of nowhere, dispite that, it phased no one

"I can't really see a club exhausting someone that much..." Brier trailed off

"Yes, but we have to take account that Lucien has half the energy and motivation of a regular human, so club activities will definitely tire him out." Hawthorne said while Linden nodded

"Oh, is that so? Well we should prepare some tea to boost his energy! Let's go Hawthorne! Linden, you can watch over Lucien if you want!" the two louder cottagemates sprung to go to the central cottage to get some tea ready while Linden approached Lucius who layed pitifully exhausted on his belly

"I do wonder what club you joined." he said after crouching on the ground and rocking a bit

"The Modeling Club..." Lucien managed to wheeze out

"...You have my condolences..." Linden muttered unceremoniously while Lucien wheezed like a dying alpaca

Lucien's mind drifted off to what his life did for the last two hours.

~

"Ohh! You really are handsome!" a boy with lovely blond hair and glowy brown eyes said, he greeted Noel and Lucien when they came inside the expansive club room

The clicks of cameras, people practicing their walking, eating snacks together, taking selfies on their phones, gave the club room an energetic feel and was something Lucien didn't expect at all.

"Lucien, this is Asher. He's the vice president of the Modeling Club!" Noel gestured to the blond haired boy which Lucien greeted

"Nice to meet you Asher-senpai."

"Ohoho! The rumors were true after all! This one's a dandy! Alrighty, let's get you camera ready! Give him something like a suit!"

"Eh! Right now?!"

"Yes right now Lucien-chan. Today will be the start of your blossoming modeling career ;) ~"

~

"That's how I got to model outfit after outfit for two hours."  Lucien said whilst eating up the soup Brier and Hawthorne got for him

"Ohh! I heard about Noel-senpai, he's a really big influencer! No doubt will people start to flock you when he posts picture of you!" Brier said

"Mhm, Noel is pretty cool." Hawthorne said while whistling

"I only really joined for the money..." Lucien confessed

"Eh? Lucien, you are a person who calculates everything, but you accepted for money?"

"Well, I am broke, it's more for security than actually spending, but I feel like I made a big mistake."

"Mhm, thinking of Lucien-san's personality, you definitely won't catch a break." Hawthorne said monotonously

"What's with that monotone expression?!"

"Hmm, well, since Lucien-san is handsome, I wanna see what the pictures look like." Linden said with a small, knowing smile

"They'll be posted tomorrow from what Noel-senpai said."

"Mhm! I look forward to seeing them!"

So, um, I just realized that there was a limit for posts. This was just like 23 pages in Samsung Notes. Yeah, so I had to cut down the last part but okay man.

Alrighty, we finally get some tea about the Valley of Thorns and boy was I like lollollollollol when I wrote this down yesterday.

That's most of it I guess, so part one of chapter 4 or just chapter 4 and the rest will be part of chapter 5, yeah, I guess it has to be like that. Frick this is going so fast and it's still Lucien's first week of classes,gotta slow down a bit.

[innovativestruggles]

TsukiYachi speculations, thoughts and theories based on canonical evidence

WARNING: THIS IS A LONG LONG POST!

So I wanna share my thoughts with everyone - especially ya’ll TsukiYachi lovers (notably @mimi-cee-hq​) whoever that’s left (and clearly I should be working but doing this cause I apparently like to procrastinate)

Canonical Evidence

I want to reinforce the point here. When I write about character analysis and speculations, I base things on canonical evidence - that is - based on what I see and interpret from the manga and anime. I usually prefer to use manga as that is the ultimate canon but seeing as the anime is quite loyal to the manga, I’ll be using it too. Of course, this is all interpretation base (and maybe biased) which is why I will put forward evidence that I see so it helps people see where and how I got to my conclusion (instead of looking like I just made something up). Teehee.

So....HAPPY READING!

Manga Vs. Anime

I only recently started the anime and reading the manga (yes yes I am aware I am late to the party but I’m FASHIONABLY LATE) and it is amazing how loyal the anime is to the manga (so far) but I have noticed a few discrepancies. And because this is a TsukiYachi post I am going to focus on this. 

The anime unfortunately toned down some of the interactions between Tsukki and Yachi, which is a huge shame - BUT it does make up for some parts by extrapolating and adding more cute details that was not seen in the manga. So I suppose there are elements of balance, although the details the anime omitted was important as it gave off more interesting vibes. 

For example; this interaction below was downplayed in the anime. Yachi only talked of Tsukki’s liveliness and the flustered “he usually acts so cool” was left out. So sad, I would have totally liked to see a flustered Yachi talking about Tsukki <33

AND THIS ONE BELOW! THE MOST DISAPPOINTING OF THEM ALL! I was sooooooooo sad when the anime left this specific part out where Tsukki and Yachi were sitting next to each other. In the anime, Yachi was somewhere on the other side holding plates or something. LIKE SERIOUSLY? When manga panels are drawn, they usually draw who they would like to emphasise in the centre or draw them bigger. LOOK AT TSUKKI AND YACHI BEING THE CETNRE OF ATTENTION! LOOK AT HOW BIG THEY’VE BEEN DRAWN!! LOOK AT THEM SITTING NEXT TO EACH OTHER. 

STUPID EFFING ANIME HOW DARE YOU DENY US TSUKIYACHI FANS OF THIS!!! *rant rant rant*

Anyways, one thing I did like about the anime was them extrapolating this scene. Teehee. Look at Tsukki just staring at Yachi even whilst Yamaguchi was talking. And then Tsukki continues to talk to Yachi as if Yama didn’t say anything at all. This scene was so adorable <33

So moving on

Interactions

I gotta agree with everyone here and the obvious is that the interactions between Tsukki and Yachi are minimal. It is so sad but you know, Tsukki is a side character and Yachi is like a side side character so I do understand why their interactions would have very little screen/page time. In saying that, whenever they do have their interaction, or when one talks of the other, it was rather significant. This was most notable in the Shiratorizawa arc. Let me explain;

Yachi is extremely caring of all her teammates and her interactions lie predominantly with Kiyoko and the four first year boys. Of the four, Hinata would be the one she interacts with most. I suppose this is because Hinata is the main protagonist so he gets thorough interaction moments with all characters. It is a given. 

Kageyama’s interaction with Yachi was second in terms of screen/page time but I believe the vast majority of the time, it was together with Hinata (ones that are significant anyways). 

Then there is Yamaguchi, who so adorably thinks she is cute. I am still unsure whether he actually likes her (maybe a little crush?). But I reckon Nishinoya likes Kiyoko more than Yamaguchi likes Yachi LOL. So it might just be a tiny crush, I don’t know. Anyways, YamaYachi have very little screen time as well and their direct and indirect interactions don’t particularly stand out to me. I mean, they do have their little fluff moments but nothing significant in terms of development.

Now we have Tsukki. In terms of screen/page time, Yachi and Tsukki, like I said earlier, have minimal interactions - but I mean this in a direct interaction kind of way. What I noticed were their indirect interactions! I’ll explain more later.

I went into watching Haikyuu with a very neutral standpoint and my TsukiYachi shipping did not start until quite some time later (most notable during the Shiratorizawa arc).

Shiratorizawa Arc

Tsukki underwent a major character development during the Shiratorizawa arc so this was a time where he shone the brightest. During this arc, Yachi had some of the biggest screen/page time - it was so awesome! 

Aside from when Yachi was first introduced, we never really got to see much of her, but her screen/page time appeared a lot more during this arc. It so happens that this very arc was the most important for Tsukki. Three major things I noted from this arc,

1. Akiteru’s presence

2. Akiteru and Yachi’s interactions (direct and indirect)

3. Yachi’s commentary of Tsukki

Akiteru’s Presence

Akiteru, we all know, was Tsukki’s biggest influence when it comes to his ideas around volleyball, so naturally his presence there during Tsukki’s major development would be significant.

Akiteru and Yachi’s Interactions

These two have an absurd amount of interactions during this arc. Have a look below!

This was only a handful of times! There were so many more I couldn’t possibly add them all to this post! They only just met that day yet they talked so much to each other! And it wasn’t just all about Tsukki, it was about the game in general and I just love the friendly interactions between them. Like the most important person to Tsukki was interacting so much with Yachi <33 My heart...

Furudate could have made Akiteru interact the same way with any of the other three on the stand i.e. Saeko, Takinoue or Shimada but he made the focus on him and Yachi. And to have Yachi closely interact so much (and on a deep level regarding Tsukki) with someone so close to Tsukki, I thought this was so adorable!

Yachi’s commentary of Tsukki

Then we see Yachi’s commentary. FML don’t get me started on this. I don’t tend to be too observant with these kinds of things but I remember when I was watching this arc for the first time, the amount of times Yachi made some sort of comment about Tsukki was pretty much the only time she had screen time (aside from when Akiteru was talking to her). 

I don’t know whether Furudate was being deliberate with this (he probably was), but anyone on the team could give the same comments as Yachi regarding Tsukki! They probably know his play a lot better as well, but then the audience were given scenes of Yachi commenting on Tsukki instead. ALSO, NOT JUST ANY COMMENTS, they were quite deep-seated ones too. Yachi was just so observant of him and she watches him so closely it was so sweet. She seems to know his state of mind really well <333333

So have a look at some of her comments

Of course there was the one panel earlier when she was talking about how lively Tsukki appeared. I won’t duplicate it. I really can’t help but notice how much she talked about Tsukki during this arc, and they were all mostly directed towards Akiteru as well! HOW IMPORTANT IS THAT? I gotta reinforce this but talking so deeply about someone to the most important family member of that person is so.....HNNNGGGG!! It was no wonder Akiteru was so surprised that Tsukki may have other friends other than Yamaguchi. Teehee. 

Also note that Yachi has not spoken about Kageyama or Yamaguchi (or even Kiyoko) in such a deep manner. She has done so bits and pieces toward Hinata, but tbh not as much as this arc here re; Tsukki.

Below are some Yachi reactions specifically towards Tsukki spiking (first two images) and blocking (last two images) - I had to put these in cause it’s soooo cute!

Something extra for thoughts. I really love the below panel. Something about Yachi speaking of this was so sweet and tender. As if she truly knew exactly how much pain he was in. AAAAAHHHHHHH T____T My gorgeous babies.

Also this one below as well, which occurred earlier in the manga. I just love how Yachi looks out for everyone but she finds Tsukki just that much more challenging to decipher. It just makes it so great when she was able to tell the differing emotions from Tsukki later on in the series... even though he was so apathetic most of the time...

Finally this image below which I already posted above but would like to say a bit more about. So this scene occurred right after Karasuno beat Shiratorizawa. I just love it how with all the emphasis between Yachi and Tsukki during the entire arc, it was so beautifully wrapped up with them sitting next to each other <333

Extra Side Story

Right I ain’t gonna leave this one out. This panel below just goes to show that there was something going on here. Whether I have overanalysed it or not, on face value, it just seems a bit too different for me. What I mean is that Tsukki is a very apathetic, standoff-ish kinda person. If he is not being aloof, he is making some sort of snide and snarky remarks about someone. So Tsukki literally going out of his way to try and say something nice, to make Yachi feel better about her body and then getting a bit miffed because it didn’t get through the way he wanted, was very, very out of character for him. Which is why I just feel like he may have a soft spot for Yachi. Or maybe he is nicer to girls? Though I haven’t seen him saying anything remotely encouraging to Kiyoko.

Then I thought of what he said. As I mentioned in some other post (I posted heaps I don’t even remember where now lmao). “There are definitely people who like smaller girls...” If the translation was done correctly from Japanese to English (I can vouch for this as I can read a bit of Japanese), then the word ‘definitely’ he used was rather brazen. It just means he knows with 100% accuracy that there are people out there who likes smaller girls... And it’s normally a reference to the person speaking because they obviously know that they like the person hehehe.

Okay almost done with my thesis.

Star References

Yo this one is so fluff I fucking love it. I already made brief comments about this in some of my other posts and replies and Mimi (@mimi-cee-hq​) has done an amazing job writing two mini fics on this for me (ILY MY TSUKIYACHI SOUL HAS BEEN FED). See Matching Stars and the sequel A Blue Star! Thank you Mimi you’re a legend <33

So I started watching it a little closer in the anime (and manga), and Tsukki really favours his star shirts a whole damn lot (like the whole moon and star reference probably re; play on his name). Yachi on the other hand favours her star hair ties, blue ones she wears as manager and black ones during school times. I mean come on! Subtle references much? Either I am overanalysing this way too much and Furudate was half asleep when he designed these accessories or he truly be putting in some sneaky TsukiYachi references <333

P. S. Couple accessories that reference each other in subtle ways are common in Japan.

Concluding Thoughts (this honestly feels like an essay fml)

So these are my evidence for this pairing so far. I may have overanalysed this and Furudate could be like “wtf this person be taking this whole thing out of context that was not what I intended” OR “yeah man she totally nailed it right on the spot. I’m surprised she could pick this up so well” HAHAHA. 

Either way, this was my interpretation based on what I saw/read. As a long time manga reader, I know that manga artists portray characters and place emphasis on certain things in differing ways because the audience reading and seeing a drawing is different to them watching something. It’s a lot more difficult to portray your point across to readers than watchers. So that’s why when I read manga, parts such as drawing things bigger, more detailed and at the centre signifies more emphasis, as well as having certain characters together in panels.

At first glance, I actually thought this pairing would be like a crack pairing because there was no absolute way there could be anything remotely romantic about this ship. But the more I watched and read, the more I realised that this pairing does have some sort of potential. I mean, just because of all the direct and indirect interactions I wrote about them here, it does not automatically mean that there would be a romantic development. What I’m trying to show is that there is a lot more to this pairing than just thinking of them as a crack ship, b/c there are developments for these two. Furudate seems to make it so that these two know each other a lot more than what the audience is being given. Do I even make any sense? LOL

Feel free to refute every single thing I wrote here. I love a good debate. As long as you can back it up with evidence and keep things civil that is. It would be so nice if Yachi ends up with Tsukki but yeah who knows. I’d rather her end up with no one if she doesn’t get together with Tuskki (but that’s my personal opinion). Leaving things to interpretation can be a good thing.

BONUS

LMAO YACHI! HAHAHA! But I just love it how Furudate drew her close to Tsukki again <33 T___T so beautiful. And Tsukki in his giant star shirt...what’s new? lololol

BONUS BONUS

Nervous Yachi awaiting results of Tsukki’s injury. AHHHHHHHH LOOK HOW ADORABLE SHE IS! LOOK AT HER! I can’t make GIF but if you go and watch this scene she is literally shifting nervously on the spot. My precious gorgeous girl waiting for her man. I can’t, I just can’t ....

That’s all folks!

EDIT: I made a Part 2! Read it here

[minmotl]

Chapter 42: Tang Fan is Jealous, Gets All Mopey, Then Gets Sick & Sui Zhou Nurses Him Back to Health

Context: While Sui Zhou is called away on a case (this is the case in the show when Sui Zhou is imprisoned by the corrupt official and where imposter Wang Zhi turns up, but the developments of the show for this case and also imposter!WZ doesn’t happen in the novel - Sui Zhou does meet some trouble with the corrupt official but it’s settled without much fanfare), Wang Zhi causes Tang Fan to be summoned into the palace by the Emperor to solve the case of the Crown Prince’s study buddy dying (the boy’s surname is Han, this case happens in the show as well). 

In this chapter, he’s just finished solving the case and is finally heading home after days of frantic, hard work and Sui Zhou coincidentally is back home from the above case as well. While Sui Zhou was gone, Sui Zhou’s cousin Lady Zhou turned up at the house to look for him but was rebuffed by Tang Fan.

*Note: I really love this chapter!!! One of my favourites, there’s a bit of angst in this one, I LOVE. Like Top 5 chapters for me, honestly. Tang Fan getting all angsty on his own and moping? YAS. I love the way Sui Zhou just tends to Tang Fan, and while he doesn’t outright give into Tang Fan’s every whim, he has Tang Fan’s interests and well-being in mind constantly and I just LOVE. Also, long chapter ahead XD.

**Second note: This thing about marrying twice-removed cousins (and sometimes not even that removed) is a practice in traditional times. Not sure if it counts as incest but probably, but it was something that was widely done across centuries and different dynasties. I have no comments, but anyway, while the Empress Dowager did seem to want to marry Lady Zhou over to Sui Zhou’s, Sui Zhou has never accepted her advances and will refuse her firmly in the next chapter.

Introduction Post | Masterpost

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Highlights under the cut

Recently, because of the East Palace case, Tang Fan ended up running between the palace and Western Depot often with occasional trips to the Han family’s house. He hasn’t been able to work as usual at Shun Tian Prefecture, and Pan-daren was quick to give him off days so that he wouldn’t need to report at the courts every day until he’s done with the current case.

Although he’s still investigating cases, heading into the courts everyday punctually to sit as compared to having the freedom of time when he’s at work, these are two completely different concepts. While Tang-daren is not the kind of official to just pass his days at work, he was still happy to be able to take breaks and procrastinate from time to time (helping Wang Zhi out on this case).

Seeing that the case is about to conclude, these days of freedom will soon cease and Tang-daren cannot help but feel a little disappointed. Instead of taking a detour to the dumpling stall to have some dumplings, he heads straight back home.

Of course, if Ah Dong was at home to make dinner that would be good. The other time, after the experience of having glutinous peanut balls on an empty stomach, Tang-daren is certain he never wants to experience that again.

The sky darkens gradually and and when only a short distance remains between him and home, Tang Fan sees the swirls of smoke coming from the direction of his house’s kitchen and in that moment, he can almost smell the aroma of dinner. This improves his mood significantly. Humming a tune under his breath, his footsteps quicken.

No matter where he goes, it is still home that is the best!

The door to the front yard isn’t closed and is opened halfway. He’s about to walk in when laughter and chatter sounds from inside and hidden in the ensuing noise is a familiar man’s voice.

Sui Zhou has returned?

Tang Fan is stunned for a moment, and then a smile breaks out on his face.

However, he barely takes a few steps inside before seeing that the doors to the dining hall, which is connected to the main hall, is wide open and inside, there is a whole table of steaming, hot dishes. Little Ah Dong walks out of the kitchen, in her hands holding onto a fresh plate of food, yelling, “Sui da-ge, Zhou jiejie, all the dishes have been served. Da-ge surely won’t be coming home for dinner, so let’s start first!”

There is a man and a woman standing next to the table in the dining hall.

The man is naturally Sui Zhou, who he has not seen in many days. He looks like he’s lost some weight but this makes him look even more mature. He must’ve  been back for a while as he’s not wearing the Embroidered Uniform Guards’ uniform, the one that makes everyone fear for their lives. Instead. he has changed into some casual clothes, but he looks more like a precious sword that has not yet been unsheathed, because underneath the casual clothes, what is packaged is a bloodthirsty, sharp sword.

For a person like this, there is no need for lavish clothes and beautiful embellishments. He is protected by the sharpest edge of the blade and just by standing there, others are unable to ignore him.

The other woman, however, is the Zhou family’s cousin that Tang Fan saw a few days ago. She came to their doors looking for Sui Zhou and left without what she wanted, and today she has managed to meet him coincidentally.

He’s not sure what she said, but a small smile is apparent on Sui Zhou’s icy, stoic face. Her bell-like laughter travels far and the space between both people are not close but also not far, just perfect. Their arms are almost about to touch, but it also looks as if they’re not touching. All these are clear in Tang Fan’s eyes and the scene looks almost flirtatious and sensual to him.

Ah Dong skips into the hall with the dishes, and then says something to the woman. The both of them laugh, seemingly close.

How long have they known each other for them to be this friendly with one another? She’s even closer to her than she is to me, her Da-ge!

That’s what Tang-daren thinks, and he will never admit that all he feels right now is the sour jealousy in his heart. Where he’s standing, he is perfectly hidden by a tree and with the skies so dark, no one realizes that he’s there.

Tang Fan sees the three of them take their seats separately, as if they’re truly about to begin dinner without him, and so he does not walk in further. Instead, he turns around and quietly retreats out of the house.

Night falls and thousands of houses glow with light. This is a time for reunion with the family. Usually Tang-daren surely will not be as indecisive as this, but he’s not sure what’s wrong with him today either. Seeing the three people in the house laughing and having a good time with each other, he feels that he’s an extra, as if the three of them are a family instead. For him to suddenly go in, he feels as if he’s the intruder disturbing them instead.

The most terrible thing is Ah Dong. It is said that when women grow up, they have to be married and her parents and family will not be able to make her stay. Well, she’s not even grown up yet, but she’s already trying to please outsiders!

Tang Fan mumbles and doesn’t realize what’s wrong with his choice of words. Like an old man, he puts his hands behind him and begins to circle around the Sui house, and shortly after he reaches the tiny door in the house’s backyard.

Smelling the aroma of the food wafting through the air from inside the house, Tang Fan rubs at his stomach and feels even hungrier now. He wonders if he should head out and find some food to eat before returning, but after a few consecutive days of rushing about, even though there were times when he sat in a carriage, that is incomparable to someone who spends most of their time hurrying around on foot.

Now that he’s relaxed, his legs ache terribly, and so he’s too lazy to move. Instead, he sits on the threshold of the door and spaces out as he looks at the sky full of stars.

It is almost autumn season and after night falls, it begins to become chilly. After a while, Tang-daren yawns and drowsiness fills him. With his head supported against the door, unconsciously, he ends up dozing off like this.

He descends into deep slumber, unaware of his surroundings.

An unknown amount of time later, it is only after he feels the weight of something over his body does Tang Fan open his eyes.

The skies have darkened completely, but from the light coming out of the courtyard, Tang Fan still manages to see the person before him.

“Guang Chuan?” Tang-daren asks blearily, before he sees the other person next to him. “Ah Dong, what are the both of you doing here?”

It is only then that he realizes that the weight he felt on him earlier was due to Sui Zhou placing his down coat over him to cover his body.

With a hand on her hips, Ah Dong nags, “Da-ge, how can you even say that, we were waiting for you but you didn’t come home. We were so panicked, Sui da-ge was about to go out and search for you, but who knew that you were hiding here? Why didn’t you head inside?”

Having just surfaced to consciousness, Tang Fan’s eyes are confused, his expression blank as he’s still in a half-awake state.

Seeing that Ah Dong wants to continue speaking, Sui Zhou stops her and helps Tang Fan up. Both of Tang Fan’s legs are numb after having sat for so long, and with a grimace, he almost falls forward. Luckily, Sui Zhou is swift to see that and his hands are ever faster, directly slipping around Tang Fan’s waist to support him.

“Can you walk?” Sui Zhou frowns, his expression indicating that if Tang Fan cannot walk, he is prepared to carry him.

To uphold a man’s dignity, Tang Fan quickly says, “I’m okay, I just sat for a little too long, it’ll be fine after standing for a bit.”

“Why didn’t you go inside?” asks Sui Zhou.

He repeats the same question Ah Dong raised earlier.

Tang Fan suddenly feels a little sheepish, and rubbing at his nose, he says, “I was a little tired when I came back, and thought that I’d sit here for a bit. Who knew that I would accidentally fall asleep?”

After answering, he feels that this excuse is ridiculous.

Who is Sui Zhou? Someone who works in the Northern Administrative Court and an expert in interrogations, how can he not tell if what Tang Fan is saying is a lie or the truth?

At the other person’s wordless gaze, Tang Fan feels even more sheepish.

Sui Zhou watches him for a good moment, before saying, “Let’s go back. Ah Dong, go make some ginger soup.”

Ah Dong makes a noise of assent, turning around and running back inside.

No one will reject the warmth that comes from being cared about and Tang-daren is no exception. His little complaints earlier vanish immediately as he watches Ah Dong trot back to the kitchen to make ginger soup with a smile. He feels like his quality of life has increased steadily since taking Ah Dong in as his sister.

Revelling in his happiness for a bit, Tang Fan turns around and sees that Sui Zhou’s gaze is still trained on him. He asks, “What are you looking at me for?”

“You’ve lost weight,” Sui Zhou concludes in three words after eyeing him for half a beat.

“Did I?” Tang Fan touches at his face, he himself does not feel that way at all.

“Hnn, you did,” Sui Zhou says with finality, as if answering his own question. He asks again, “When I wasn’t at home, what did you and Ah Dong eat?”

Tang Fan laughs, “What else could we have eaten? We didn’t manage to complete three meals in a day, I’ve been busy on a case recently, it’s unavoidable that I missed out on some meals.��

“And Ah Dong?”

The young lady picks that time to walk in with the steaming ginger soup, and Tang Fan half sighs and half teases, “She definitely led an even more nourishing life than I did. Sometimes she went to your house to play with your sister and was asked to stay for dinner, then for the night. Other times she ran over to the neighbours’ for dinner. The way she has been passing her days, she’s helped us saved a bit on provisions!”

Ah Dong sticks her tongue out at him before retorting, “Da-ge, who asked you to not come back so often? Sometimes I left food for you, but you didn’t come back to eat and I ended up wasting it…”

Sui Zhou interrupts her complaints and asks Tang Fan, “You haven’t had dinner yet, have you?”

Tang Fan coughs, not answering.

Seeing the situation at hand, there is nothing that Sui Zhou doesn’t understand. Without another word, he stands up and walks out.

Once he leaves the house, Tang Fan drags Ah Dong over, “Who stepped on his toes? Why does it look like someone owes him 800 strings of coins?”

Ah Dong sulks, “Who else, you owe him!”

Tang Fan rolls his eyes, “Stop joking with me, what does this have to do with your da-ge?”

“How does this not have to do with you? We finished cooking and kept waiting for you but you didn’t return, so Sui da-ge let me and Zhou jiejie eat first, he didn’t even touch his chopsticks! You tell me, he didn’t even eat, how can he be in a good mood?”

Tang Fan freezes, “He didn’t eat?”

He saw Sui Zhou and the rest of them seated earlier, about to start dinner.

Ah Dong giggles, “Of course! Sui da-ge is so loyal, and while waiting for you to come back, even when faced with a full table of food, he didn’t touch it one bit! There was also the honey grilled lamb thigh and fu rong eggs that Sui da-ge made himself! He told us to start eating first, Zhou jiejie was still trying to be courteous but I couldn’t resist. I kept drooling, so I just took my chopsticks and…”

The pitiful Tang-daren with his empty stomach, the moment he hears that, his eyes go wide and under Ah Dong’s tantalizing description, he too begins to drool.

Aiyo, if he knew he would have gone in to eat, who cares about face and pride? 

Tang Run Qing, Tang Run Qing, pride cannot fill an empty stomach!

He cannot resist but reach over to pinch at Ah Dong’s face, “You little wench, you’re the one with no loyalty, shouldn’t you have left me some?”

Ah Dong retorts, maligned, “Once the honey grilled lamb dish is cold it won’t be delicious anymore! Aiya, Da-ge, you don’t say, Sui da-ge’s cooking skills are really excellent. That lamb thigh was grilled with a golden glaze and was still dripping with oil! When it was almost done, he brushed another layer of honey on it until it was grilled to a crisp. When I ate, it was still steaming hot! Not to mention how tender the meat was, I was thinking, it’s such a pity for da-ge that he will not get to eat such delicious food and no way, I have to help you eat more! So I ate four pieces in a row. I’m so full, and the fu rong egg later was good too, I just couldn’t eat anymore…”

Tang-daren’s agony has long turned into a river of grievances, “Don’t say anymore…”

“Also, Zhou jiejie made two dishes but I didn’t think much about them. I ate one mouthful and didn’t touch it anymore, and I saw that Zhou jiejie herself was unable to eat it as well. Da-ge, just between you and me, I think Zhou jiejie seems to like Sui da-ge, just like how our Ah Qiu jiejie liked you before. During the meal she kept stealing glances at Sui da-ge and he pretended not to see it, the situation was hilarious…”

Ah Dong resembles a little chicken right now, speaking as she laughs, making noises and even gesticulating, her small arms swinging and almost giving Tang-daren a bruised eye.

Tang Fan’s face turns dark suddenly, and he pokes at her, indicating for her to stop.

However, the little girl does not have the mind to listen to him, and continues to gossip about Sui Zhou and his cousin.

“Also also! I even heard Zhou jiejie asking Sui da-ge, ‘Biao-ge, do you remember the promise we made when we were younger?’” Ah Dong imitates Young Lady Zhou’s expression, slanting her eyes to the side and doing her best to portray a shy demeanour.

Tang Fan almost bursts out laughing, and although he wishes to see her continue to act it out, between siblings the principles of compassion and love holds true and so he kindly reminds her, “Ah Dong.”

Ah Dong says irritably, “What do you want, are you listening to me carefully, I’m about to get to the important part!”

Tang Fan pinches at her chin and turns her head to the back, hinting at Ah Dong to look behind her.

And she sees Sui Zhou standing there, looking at her with an expressionless face, and who knows how much he’s heard?

“…”

“…”

Ah Dong continues to play dumb, “…”

Sui Zhou shoots her an even look, “Go tend to the fire, there’s porridge on the stove right now.”

As if she was just pardoned, she almost flies as she escapes past Sui Zhou, running towards the kitchen.

Sui Zhou’s gaze lands on Tang Fan’s body.

He blinks, his expression saying ‘I have no idea what she was just talking about’ as he tries to look as innocent and pure as he can.

Sui Zhou says gently, “The ginger soup is cold.”

Tang Fan goes ‘oh’, and hurries to lower his head and drink the soup.

Inside the house, the atmosphere suddenly becomes strange and awkward. However, Tang-daren is fortunately smart and thinks quickly on his feet, immediately thinking of another topic to distract them both.

“How’s the case you went to handle this time?”

Sui Zhou drags a chair over and sits down, “We went to Jiang Xi to investigate the case regarding Ji An Fu Zhi Fu’s Huang Jing Long.”

Tang Fan straightens and asks, concerned, “What did he do?”

“Jiang Xi’s Supervisory Ambassador reported that since Cheng Hua’s 11th year, within three years, Ji An Fu imprisoned a total of more than three hundred people and they were tortured to death by Zhi Fu Huang Jing Long, but he covered the deaths up by reporting these as deaths caused by illness.”

Shocked, Tang Fan exclaims, “The gall of the man!”

Sui Zhou nods, “Yes. So the higher-ups have ordered the Department of Criminal Affairs, the ambassador and Northern Administrative Court to head there and investigate thoroughly. We were also tasked with arresting Huang Jing Long and bring him into Jing city. I was in a rush to leave the city precisely because of this.”

Tang Fan asks, “Then how was it, did everything go smoothly?”

“It was originally quite smooth in process as we had sufficient evidence that even Huang Jing Long could not refute. The total number of people he tortured to death was originally 417, including the 300 odd prisoners, there were dozens of victims who were wrongfully arrested and put into prison, then tortured to death. But when we were clearing out the corpses, we realized there were more than ten bodies missing. When we asked Huang Jing Long again, he was unable to tell us the reason for this.”

“Why?”

“We’re not certain. He insists there weren’t that many people, but the number 417 was totalled after checking with the prisoners and also the families of the deceased who came forward to report on this. Theoretically, there is nothing wrong with this number and in fact, there might be even more.”

Since Ying Zong in the Ming Dynasty, court officials have to pass the highest level of imperial examinations in order to get through the door, and what this means is that one has to pass that exam to attain the right to become an official. Of course, this is not a guarantee and to be promoted into that position, one has to have connections or have good luck. If there is a vacancy, then he can become an official, but no matter how high one rises through the ranks as an official the most they can be is a Xun Fu and there’s no way for him to enter the inner court or have any sort of commanding power.

This is why in the Ming Dynasty, everyone is squeezing their brains to be able to pass the examination.

Then again, after studying so hard for decades and even more than that, after becoming an official, everyone has differing determinations — some of them want to repay and serve their country, others want to serve the public and then there are those who want to earn more money, while others have a passion for power and want to climb even higher. All these can be understood. However, so far he hasn’t heard of anyone working so hard to become a Fourth Rank Zhi Fu official, only to go and torture his prisoners and be reported for it, his reputation destroyed.

What was his motive? Did this Huang Jing Long study so hard he became dumb instead, was forced to go mad and developed a rebellious attitude, which led to him torturing the prisoners to feel a rush of excitement emotionally?

Tang Fan finds this incredibly mind-boggling and finally understands why this case prompted the Embroidered Uniform Guards’ involvement.

“Huang Jing Long didn’t come clean about his motives?”

“He stopped speaking after he was caught and refuses to say anything,” Sui Zhou shakes his head.

After Huang Jing Long was captured and returned to the city, his mission came to a close and the rest of it, other individuals and departments will naturally follow up, which means Sui Zhou no longer has to front the case.

As they speak, Ah Dong finally comes in with bowls and the fragrance wafts over into Tang Fan’s nose with the breeze that came in via the open door. His stomach begins to hunger for food now that the ginger soup has warmed it.

“How fragrant!” Tang-daren cannot help but exclaim.

Ah Dong puts the bowl down and says, “Sui da-ge personally made this porridge, it smells really good! There’s minced meat, mushrooms, coriander and even crushed peanuts in this, Da-ge, Sui da-ge is a really good person, he’s a really good person!”

This young lady was still gossiping about Sui Zhou and his cousin from the Zhou family and after Sui Zhou heard her, she’s now trying to make amends. It’s a pity that she’s still too young and cannot think of any new and fresh vocabulary. Going in rounds, all she can do is repeat that Sui Zhou is a “really good person” several times.

Tang Fan shoots her a look but does not expose her. Instead, he lowers his head and scoops up a spoonful of boiling hot porridge. After blowing at it until it’s cool, Tang Fan then shoves the spoon into his mouth. The rice in the porridge has been cooked thoroughly under the small fire and the aroma of the meat is apparent once he eats it.

With the mushrooms and the peanuts, the taste of the porridge is improved and after he eats a spoonful he doesn’t have to chew much before his mouth is filled with a soft, fragrant substance. For Tang-daren who has been starving for a while, this is the best for his digestion.

Tang Fan doesn’t say another word and begins to eat ravenously. Seeing that, Sui Zhou too picks up his spoon to eat.

After they’re more or less done with their meal and have slowed down in their eating pace, that’s when Sui Zhou asks, “Has there been a lot to do at Shun Tian Prefecture recently?”

Tang Fan remembers the way Sui Zhou asked about him losing weight earlier and shakes his head, “Not from Shun Tian Prefecture.”

He gets Ah Dong to go to sleep first and it’s only then he tells Sui Zhou all about it. However, the case involves the inner court and there are many taboos, so even if he’s close to Sui Zhou, it’s not convenient for him to say more than is necessary. It can be more harm than good for him to know more.

Tang Fan picks a few important sections to elaborate on and the unspoken words in between his sentences, Tang Fan does not need to verbalize in explicit detail either. With Sui Zhou’s intelligence, it is only natural for him to put two and two together.

Sui Zhou listens until he’s done and is silent for half a beat as if thinking deeply. It’s only after a long moment that he speaks, “There are a lot of hidden secrets in this case that have not yet come to light. As an inner court official, Wang Zhi is unlikely to meet any trouble but for you and the position you are in, it’s best not to be involved too deep.”

What he means is clear. Wang Zhi is an inner court official and to the Emperor and Royal Consort, he’s one of their people but Tang Fan is an official outside of that. Moreover, his rank is low. If he knows too much and someone in the ranks higher than he is upset and would like to teach him a lesson, it would be as easy as to wave a hand for them to make it happen.

Tang Fan smiles, “Don’t worry, the murderer has been caught. Anything other than that I am unable to control, and that Eunuch Wang’s affairs, I will not get myself involved in the future.”

As intelligent as Tang Fan is and with all his schemes, he certainly never expected that after that, he will have countless of opportunities to interact and work with Eunuch Wang, and also that he will end up changing Wang Zhi’s shining political career and journey.

He finishes his porridge, sets the bowl aside and praises, “Ah Dong’s cooking skills are already pretty good, but your cooking is much better than hers! In comparison, I seem like a useless thing that cannot even move his four limbs!”

Amusement flashes in Sui Zhou’s eyes, “Since you have us, why is there a need for you to learn?”

You say that, but once Ah Dong marries and you find a wife, what will I do then?

The glutton that is Tang-daren does not feel any happiness at his best friend’s words, and instead becomes disappointed and worried.

Night has fallen, and the both of them chat for a while longer before heading back into their own chambers to rest.

Even though he drank the ginger soup, Tang Fan still catches a cold the next day. This bout of illness is severe, and Tang-daren is defeated by it without any exceptions.

He lies in bed and coughs repeatedly, his body heating up, the fever resulting in his complexion flushing entirely red, and his eyes are glazed.

No pain, no gain and with the pain, the reward that comes with this illness is that he doesn’t even have to head into court or work. Tang-daren is finally able to firmly apply for medical leave and enjoy being a patient at home.

Although it feels terrible to be sick, the treatment that a sick patient gets is obviously different. Someone makes his meals and then brings it right to his mouth, and he doesn’t even have to personally get water to wash his face, because someone will wet a cloth and take the initiative to help him wipe his face.

And yet, Tang-daren still does not feel happy.

Just like what’s happening right now under his eyes — he looks at the plain porridge and pickles before him and can almost feel the blandness on his tongue. He ends up imploring the person in front of him, “Can’t you give me some meat, even if it’s minced beef or some dumplings with meat?”

Sui Zhou looks at Tang-daren’s pitiful expression and feels the urge to laugh, but on the surface, he still persists with that cold, stoic look, “No.”

Tang-daren sneezes so hard his tears are about to fall. His vision becomes blurry and his nose is still itchy. The more he looks, the more pitiful Tang Fan is. Sui-baihu however, truly has a heart of steel and even with Tang Fan like this, he still does not waver. All he does is pass the bowl of porridge over to Tang-daren.

“Are you going to eat it on your own or should I feed you?”

“I’ll eat it on my own! On my own!” Tang-daren puts up his white flag and surrenders.

He’s got to be kidding! If he feeds him by the spoonful, his heroic image would be destroyed if this gets out. It’s just that seeing this bland, tasteless white porridge and the terribly salty pickles, he really has no appetite left.

At this moment, his saviour drops from the sky and lands at his feet.

Ah Dong opens the door and comes in, “Da-ge, there’s someone looking for you outside and he says he’s from the Western Depot.”

As if receiving a huge pardon, Tang Fan is about to put the bowl in his hands down but after an icy glare from Sui Zhou, he reluctantly picks it up again.

Sui Zhou beckons Ah Dong over to supervise Tang Fan, that he has to finish the bowl of porridge no matter what, before turning and walking out. He has just left the room when he sees two people approaching him. The one in the front is wearing casual clothes, but he is walking with both hands behind his back and has a look of arrogance on his face. Just one look and it’s easy to tell that this is a man with power, and Sui Zhou actually does know this person.

===

Notes:

*吉安府知府 ji an fu zhi fu

吉安府 (ji an fu) is the name of the court that Huang Jing Long is an official at. The province/city they’re in is called 吉安 (ji an) and 府 (fu) can mean manor/court/house etc. As for 知府 (zhi fu), this is an official rank name. I’m not very certain on the full list of ranks as there are just too many of them! Local courts, prefectural courts the inner courts and other departments all use different rankings and can be conferred with different titles. The only thing that consistent throughout is the ranking number/level.

*芙蓉蛋 fu rong dan

A scrambled omelette made with barbequed porok cubes, bamboo shoots, shitake mushroom and seasoning.

*表哥/表妹 biao ge/biao mei

Cousin (male) and cousin (female).

[craftypeaceturtle]

My True Identity

Summary: Thomas has started university. His lessons haven’t started yet but he agreed to help out and do a YouTube channel about the student experience. And like the true student, he’s already having an identity crisis. 

Note: Not written to be overly shippy but read either way! This series is a little weird, no idea if it’ll translate well. The idea is just Sanders Sides retold. Feedback would be GREATLY appreciated!

Next Episode!

.

The kitchen was silent. Thomas was completely engulfed in darkness with only the faint glow from the streetlights outside. The floors were already speckled with dirt and the hob was decorated in fine splatters, he noted already knowing he couldn’t be bothered to clean it. They had only all moved in a week ago! But then again four teenagers trying to live independently would always be messy. He groaned loudly before burying his head in his arms. “Oh woah! Oh, Thomas! What are you doing!” Logan’s voice interrupted the stressed silence. 

“Hey...” Thomas muttered back and, without looking, wiggled his laptop mousepad. The screen blasted a harsh blue light against his defeated lump sitting on top of the kitchen stall. Logan paused at the door before actually walking up to him.

“That does not answer my question,” Logan sighed as he leaned against the work surface. Their quest for a glass of water for bed promptly forgotten. 

“I have no idea who I even am...” 

“Yes. Not many people do. The concept of identity is an ongoing struggle. To expect you to have all the answers at the age of 18 for the rest of your life is ridiculous.” They answered with a quiet smile, their shoulders drooped with tiredness but they already knew they were going to do whatever it takes to Thomas through this, “Why, can I ask, is this bothering you?” 

“This stupid YouTube thing I said I’d do,” Thomas actually sat up and explained once he saw Logan’s confusion, “The uni encourages students to creatively express their experience here and essentially promote the university by doing YouTube videos. I thought ‘hey that sounds fun’ and here I am! God, I don’t even know! I thought it’d be a fun idea to do a video about who I am and why I wanted to go to uni. And now I realise I’m not even sure I have a personality.”

“Ah. Well I’d love to help you. That’s a complicated topic when you truly delve into it and well... Believe it or not, I was quite the nerd in school and it’d be fun to help!” Logan smiled and sat themself next to Thomas’ dramatic form. 

“I’m sure that’s a surprise to no one,” Thomas muttered, sounding more harsh than he wanted to. But they were both too tired to really mention it. As he untangled himself and actually sat properly, another of his roommates burst through the kitchen door. 

“Greetings wonderful citizens and you nerds!” Roman winked as he fingergunned Logan, to their immense confusion.

Despite how open and chatty Roman was, they were all still fairly new to each other and some awkward tension flooded the kitchen as well. Already Thomas felt a little squirmy at Logan helping him but this was so much more embarrassing with the actual stereotypical jock flouncing around the kitchen. Not that Roman was bad or anything! Just... Thomas was a true introvert at heart. 

“Hi!” Logan squeaked while Thomas gave a weak salute.

“Now what are we muttering about at 1 in the morning! You’re disturbing my beauty sleep!”

“Oh sorry! We were um... it’s just the YouTube thing again... It’s not important, I’m so sorry!”

“Hey it’s okay! We’re students, what makes you think I was getting any sleep anyway!” 

“Well that just seems unhealthy, why would you del-”

“What’s going on kiddos!” Patton smiled with a giggle as he rose up from the other side of the table. Now, Logan and Roman positively shrieked while Thomas totally remained totally calm thank you very much. Patton was the only one that he had properly warmed up to. The kiddo thing got annoying but he knew that Patton didn’t mean it insultingly. He was the first to move in and so the first one to meet him. He immediately helped him unpack and sat with him when his parents finally left. While he wasn’t sure they had any real shared interest, Thomas was already clinging on to Patton. 

“I’m just trying to get a video done! It’s just a general about me thing and why I chose uni. I just need to have a sit down with myself, figure myself out and maybe come to a better understanding that we could all learn from,” Thomas said strongly, puffing out his chest with a plastic smile. 

“Well maybe they would know you if you’d post YouTube videos more often,” Roman snickered while Patton whooped, Thomas deflated with an embarrassed smile. 

“Hey I have posted! I’ve got two videos so far! That’s not bad for something I only started like two weeks ago.”

“Yeah but you’ve been stressing about it for every second of those two weeks. Plus, people don’t watch uni channels for the person. They just want to avoid going to the open days and find out about the campus,” Roman said while Logan frowned. 

“Wait, if all you’re looking to answer is general information about yourself then that’s easy! You just start with the basics. Introduce yourself,” Logan prompted.

“Well... I am Thomas Sanders. I go by he/him pronouns and am proudly gay. I’m taking English literature...” He trailed off. Feeling that same sense of dread and nothing slowly grip him again. Great, met these roommates only a week ago and he’s having a breakdown in front of them. 

“That’s a promising start! Topics like gender and romance can be a challenge in of themselves to figure out. You could try and answer some light hearted meaningless questions as well. Like... um, something like what’s your greatest fears?” Logan smiled as he twiddled his hands. 

“Oh! Rejection!” Roman gasped and clutched his chest while slowly sinking to his knees. 

“Spiders!” Patton shuddered.

“I always get nervous about the idea of what exactly is at the bottom of the ocean...” 

“Nope! Not doing that! I’m perfectly aware of my greatest fears. I know that’s fun and all, but I want to keep it fairly serious. Like, what are my flaws?” Thomas shrugged them all off, his shoulders tensing again. 

Logan now lit up completely. Pulling a notepad from nowhere (his pyjamas?), he flipped to a previous scribbled page and pointed out a checklist with a pen. “Oh we’re talking flaws. Well, I’ve noticed you procrastinate a lot! I mean, it’s only your first week... Lectures haven’t even started and you’re already behind. I mean why else would you be planning a video at one in the morning!” Logan panted as they spoke all in one breath but the determined shine in their eye refused to let them go without saying this. 

“Do you just... list all our flaws like that... or...” Roman mumbled.

“You can be pretty selfish with your food...” Patton looked away but his mischievous smile remained firm. 

“Really Patton? I’m like 90% sure that milk was expired!” Thomas huffed and threw his head back, his already scruffy hair whipping wildly. 

“Didn’t stop you from drinking from it...” Patton muttered again with his hands held out. As if Thomas couldn’t be sucking any more at university, it was only his first week and lessons hadn’t started yet! But here he was with flatmate drama, a breakdown at 1 in the morning and a growingly filthy flat. 

“You aren’t very adventurous either...” Roman interrupted before any room mate war was launched. He was hoping to at least get past the month mark before any wars. Not that that was saying much for him. 

“Okay, maybe this was a bad idea!” Thomas sighed and slumped back into his ball on top of the kitchen stall. Legs drawn up to his chest and head buried firmly. 

At that, all of the roommates froze. The kitchen seemed so much harsher without any of its lights on. If someone had closed the curtains then the only light would be the oven timer that was flashing the wrong time. They could all hear the faint slamming of doors and whoops from students outside. All of which were actually enjoying their fresher’s week and having fun outside. Patton felt a little mean for joking so much with him. Thomas was still a very new friend and he just criticised him when he clearly wasn’t doing good. Roman looked awkwardly around before busying himself by going to make toast while Logan kept fiddling away. Patton wished, not for the first time, that his parents were here. 

“Well, everyone has flaws. That’s what makes us human,” Patton smiled, hoping his tone made up for the weak childish message. 

“Of course. As long as you’re aware of them and working through them, then I’d even say that flaws are what keeps us improving and doing our best,” Logan happily took over. 

“Yeah! Plus, you have a lot of good in you.” 

“You value your friends above all else,” Roman butted in. It was awkward, but the eye contact and his gentle tone did a lot. Thomas found himself smiling on instinct. 

“You see the good in everyone!” Patton chirped, seemingly bursting from happiness before sending an expecting glance at Logan. Not that they needed it.

“You’re extremely passionate and stick through every project. I mean, look at this YouTube channel. You’ve committed to a project that you understood is difficult. You’re still powering through despite the adversity.”

“Well, that’s very nice, you guys,” Thomas replied, eyeing the clock as it ticked to half past. 

Thomas heaved a deep breath. The blank word document no longer seemed as intimidating but he could feel his standards tutting at the weak script he was thinking through. Yeah, this was all good stuff to talk about but how on earth was this going to connect with people. How was this going to even connect to university? 

“Oh but you should also talk more about why you are filming for the channel!” Patton squeaked, Thomas uncurled and looked on with a sceptical look, “I’m guessing you want this to be a bit more than an intro video. If you talk about why you’re running the channel then people will understand you and your content a lot better. Like, what positive impact did you hope to inevitably bring with this channel?” 

“Woah... Patton that was genuinely deep and exactly what I was lo-”

“Hey! We have the same glasses!” Patton suddenly lurched forward, pointing an accusing finger. Logan blinked sleepily.

“Yep...” 

“Okay well,” Thomas cleared his throat, “Being able to put out silly light hearted content into the world is kind of a good start, it makes me really happy to do that!” 

“Wait! This is supposed to be happy!” Roman gasped with the bread popping from the toaster soon after. Thomas wilted again under his withering gaze. 

“Just because the topic is serious, doesn’t mean the video has to be serious. I think I would’ve liked to watch a light hearted joking channel when I was looking at unis. Identity is a serious topic but I want to joke about it,” Thomas explained to the table, slowly drawing out of the crumbs a smiley face. Roman melted and turned back to his toast. 

“That’s easy! You don’t even need answers to make that video then. No one watching your videos knows who they are and if you’re making fun of yourself for not knowing, it shows that it’s kinda okay. Y’know to be unsure and stuff.”

“Self deprecating humour is very popular at the moment,” Logan reported. 

“Just as long as you don’t go too far with it! Make sure to keep it light hearted!” 

“Yeah...” Thomas had immediately perked up and starting clicking away at the keys. 

They all sat there for a couple of minutes. All of them taking pride in how quickly Thomas pulled himself together again. The words quickly filled the screen and Roman finally clicked on the light, despite all of them hissing tiredly. 

“See, you’ve got this,” Patton smiled once Thomas took another careful to pause to proof read. “You may not entirely know yourself yet but that’s okay. You know who you are at this moment, even if you just know you’re confused.”

“Yeah, I guess I do know myself better than I think,” Thomas laughed off. 

“Right, Tony?” Patton gasped with Roman and Logan whipping round. 

“Not my name.” Thomas didn’t flinch.

“Then what is it!” Patton collapsed on top of the table with a gritted guilt expression. 

“Thomas! I said it earlier in this conversation!” 

“It’s really late!” Patton winced, feeling extra guilty. 

“He does have a decent point, at the very least, I am going to sleep. Please try not to make much noise,” Logan waved before disappearing from the kitchen. 

Patton joined them shortly after while Roman and Thomas talked quietly. The project also sinking into his mind before he even realised. And now he has to make sure that Thomas even knows about proper lighting and ideal times of the day to record himself! Roman was already stealing his laptop to make amendments to the script while Thomas awkwardly laughed it off. 

[lalainajanes]

I teased this one ages ago! Sorry, rl got in the way! Do me a favor and cross your fingers that my bosses agree to start letting ups work from home a couple days a week next year bc that will make my life waaaayyy easier.

You’re Better Than Normal (Part Two) 

Part One

Caroline shifts from sleep to wakefulness violently, with a jerk and a gasp. She can’t trust the fuzzy place between the two.

She’s yet to manage a decent stretch of rest. She dreams of walls that shift closer and closer no matter how hard she tries to force them back. Of Bonnie fading and weakening when no rescue comes. Of Bonnie hanging in there until Caroline gets so thirsty.

Those are the worst.

She fights her way out of the nightmares and her body reacts accordingly. Each time she wakes she’s rigid, ready to use every ounce of her strength to get free.

Klaus is always there to remind her that she is.

This time her palms slam into his chest when she tries to spring to her feet. She snaps into lucidity when his body gives in a way the ground wouldn’t. He inhales sharply but makes no other noise of shock or pain, just grabs her wrists firmly. “Caroline, wake up.”

Caroline’s eyes pop open, only to close quickly when the light stings. She relaxes as the memories – of the last few hours, of yesterday - flood her. She inhales deeply in relief before she slumps back down. There’s a lamp on the bedside table, the shade off so it’s as bright as possible. “Ouch,” she grumbles, tucking her forehead against Klaus’ chest.

He laughs and his hands glide up her arms, his thumbs rubbing circles against her stiff shoulders. “You seemed not to appreciate the lack of light the last, oh, half-dozen times you woke.”

She’d been so sure she was back in the cave when she’d found herself in an unfamiliar place, surrounded by unbroken darkness. Her throat had tightened, her breathing growing ragged and painful. Klaus had asked what was wrong and parsed the issue from her frantic gestures and garbled words.

He’d left the bed long enough to solve the problem, had brushed off her weak protests that he wouldn’t be able to sleep. He’d said he’s gone weeks without sleeping while on the run, without slowing or resting, so he wouldn’t even notice a few nights spent awake in the comfort of a bed.

When it had been silence that made her uneasy, he’d talked. About what Caroline’s not quite sure because the words had mattered less than his voice.

She’d grown used to noise while she slept in various hostels and hotels in Europe. People shifting across the room or through too thin walls, city noise streaming in through open windows. Birds chirping and trees rustling the few times they’d ventured somewhere more rustic.

The cave had been quiet.

“Sorry,” Caroline says, not for the first time. “For, well, you know.”

Keeping him up, invading his bed, being so freaking needy. It’s an ever-lengthening list.

She bites back a moan when he digs into a particularly tight knot near her spine. “Stop apologizing,” Klaus chides.

Again.

The first ‘I’m sorry’ she’d muttered had been mortified. They’d moved to a bed but she hadn’t allowed Klaus even a fraction of an inch of personal space. Each time she barrels into alertness she’s half on top of him. Her hands are always on his skin, gripping too tightly.

He’s yet to complain.

She sighs, turns her head to rest her ear against his heart. “It must be almost morning.”

“Nearly.” He doesn’t seem particularly eager to start his day.

“Bonnie’s still asleep?”

“Yes. We’ll know when she stirs,” Klaus promises. Elijah’s with her, he’d explained. That there were plenty of other vampires he could have posted but Elijah had offered, reasoning it was best that someone familiar attend to Bon.

“How long has it been now?”

“About fourteen hours.”

So an hour longer than when she’d last asked. She’s kind of impressed that Klaus doesn’t sound more annoyed. “I’m…”

This time Klaus doesn’t allow the apology. “Worried about your oldest friend, I know. If she’s not up in another few hours I’ll send someone to fetch a doctor.”

“Have house calls made a comeback in the twenty…” Caroline pauses abruptly, lets the joke die. She doesn’t even know what century it is.

“Second,” Klaus tells her softly, his palm flattening on her back like he’s braced for her to rear away.

Caroline doesn’t move much, lets the news sink in. Honestly, she’s kind of relieved. She’s had no real way to guess – Klaus and his siblings will look the same if a hundred or a thousand years had passed. “Are we talking early twenty-second century?”

Hey, she’s always been an optimist.

“Mid,” Klaus says, a touch regretfully. “Just on the cusp of late, mathematically speaking.”

That startles a choked noise of amusement from Caroline. She taps his chest lightly, “Nerd.”

Klaus doesn’t react much to the teasing but then he’s definitely been called worse. “Do you want a specific date? Or would you prefer to ease into it a bit?”

Caroline takes a deep breath, then another. She’d told herself she’d face her problems head on in the morning. It’s time to stop procrastinating. “No, let’s get it over with. How long did I spend molding in a cave, Klaus?”

She shivers involuntarily, remembering just how long it had taken for the water in the shower to run clean.

His hand starts to move, gliding up and down the length of her back. It’s an attempt at comfort that she wouldn’t have thought Klaus capable of, once upon a time. “One hundred and forty-seven years.”

She’s always been a fan of numbers. In goals that could be measured. Timelines. When Klaus gives her the number – the length of time she’s been gone – her brain whirls, trying to quantify it.

One hundred and forty-seven years equals two human lifetimes, almost. It’s roughly ten percent of Klaus’ very long life. Almost eight times as many years as she’d lived. Caroline can’t decide whether she should laugh or cry or scream.

“And a few months, I believe,” Klaus adds softly.

A few months doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things but Caroline does appreciate precision. It had been the very beginning of spring when they’d returned to Mystic Falls. After a winter in Greece neither she nor Bonnie had been happy to find their hometown chilly and damp. “What’s the date?”

“September 30th. Twenty-one-sixty-four.”

“Huh. Just in time for my…” Caroline thinks for a minute, “…172nd birthday.” She’s technically older than Stefan had been when they’d met. Damon too, she’s pretty sure.

“I know,” Klaus murmurs. “I’ll have to scrounge you up a gift.”

Caroline lifts her head, glad he’s given her an opening to quit obsessing over a length of time she truly can’t even fathom. She glares at him playfully, “You’ll scrounge? You, a birthday enthusiast, will scrounge for a gift for the first birthday I’ve been aware of in a century and a half?”

He smiles at her and shifts so he’s propped against the bed’s padded headboard, easily moving Caroline with him. She stretches out her legs, wonders if she should move. Discards the idea when Klaus’ fingers sink into her hair. He matches her feigned outrage with a taunt, “I know you love surprises so I wouldn’t want to spoil anything. I may have a suitable item or two laying around.”

Hmm. Would it be rude to snoop? Probably. Is she going to do it anyway? Of course. Hopefully cake is still a thing in the twenty-second century.

“I hate surprises.”

She feels his amusement this time, rumbling through his chest under her head. “I’m well aware, love.” Klaus rubs at the base of her skull and Caroline finds her eyes drooping, unable to form a clever comeback. She knows she won’t sleep properly but a few more minutes of rest might be a good idea.

She wants to be sharp when Klaus’ guests arrive.

* * * * *

Caroline paces, waiting for Bonnie to wake. It's been at nearly eighteen hours and Caroline’s worry is mounting. Bonnie seems okay – she’s not too hot or too cold, doesn’t look like she’s in any pain or distress. She looks like she’s just sleeping well.

Kol’s insisting that’s exactly what’s happening, that it’s normal for witches to need to rest after big spells to recharge. He’s made the proclamation at breakfast, while double fisting blood and bourbon, in the most man-splain-y way possible, and Caroline’s temper had flared.

"Bonnie is not a freaking battery!" She’d snapped, her hands hitting the table hard enough to send cutlery rattling. Kol had leaned forward, his lips twisted condescendingly. Whatever he’d been about to say had been cut off by the warning look Klaus had leveled his way. It had promised retribution and so Kol had refrained from snapping back.

Or snapping Caroline’s neck.

She'd left the breakfast table (and it's weird, unidentifiable, array of food-like things) in a huff. After a few wrong turns she’d found her way to the room they'd deposited Bonnie in last night. She'd been soothed by Bonnie's strong heartbeat, by the steady rhythm of her breaths. She'd relaxed enough to accept the glass of blood Rebekah had dropped off, had even remembered her manners and muttered a thanks.

Rebekah had left quickly, telling Caroline to yell if she was too dim to remember how to work the shower, leaving the door ajar.

She'd downed the blood quickly and rinsed the glass (managing just fine, Rebekah). Bonnie’s a little uneasy about the whole blood drinking vampire thing. Better than she had been but, when they’d been travelling together, Caroline had gotten into the habit of hiding her meals as much as possible.

Unable to sit still any longer, nervous energy thrumming through her body, she'd started to move.

It takes fourteen strides, from wall to wall, and she's never been more grateful for Klaus' penchant for opulence. She's making lists in her head. There’s so much she’ll need to know, a million things she'll have to do. Like, how's she going to go about getting a driver's license? Do people still have those? Or is there a retinal scan, or some creepy microchip implanted in your body? Caroline had never been much for sci fi movies, something she deeply regrets now that her life has become one.

She's got her ears focused on Bonnie, however, recognizes the little annoyed noise Bonnie always makes when she's about to wake up. Caroline's in the chair beside the bed in under a second, legs pulled up under her, trying to look casual and like she's not freaking out.

The attempt is pointless, Bonnie's known her forever, and it only takes a second before her green eyes sharpen and focus on Caroline. "How bad is it?" Bonnie asks, resigned because she’s way too accustomed to doom and gloom.

They’d been doing so well on their own. They’d been away for months without even the tiniest threat of danger.

Caroline chews on the inside of her lip for a second, considering how to answer. She can't lie, won't lie, but a little stalling might be a kindness. Just until Bonnie has a chance to shower and eat. "Honestly? It's not great, Bon. But we're alive. We’ve got… help.” She’d almost said friends but that would have been pushing it.

Bonnie closes her eyes again, “This bed is an improvement over the cave.”

“That’s the spirit. I felt a bajillion times better after a shower.”

When Bonnie sits up and kicks the blankets aside, the sheets are no longer white. She makes a disgusted face at the grit and grime covering her body, "Gross. I can't believe I fell asleep like this."

"You were right out," Caroline tells her. "Rebekah tucked you in and you didn't even notice."

"Weird. I wish you hadn't told me that."

Caroline cracks a smile at the mildly disgusted look Bonnie wears, "Don't worry. I have it on good authority that Nice Rebekah will be a fleeting presence. We'll probably miss her once Bitch Rebekah rears her ugly head."

"I heard that!" Rebekah bellows from several rooms away.

Caroline looks away, from Bonnie. She'll start giggling if she doesn't and that will likely not endear either of them to Rebekah.

Caroline’s stronger than she had been but Damon will be too. If things get violent, well, she wants all The Originals on her side.

Once she's swallowed down her laughter she stands, brushing her hands together, "You'll have to bear with me. Everything in the bathroom is crazy fancy and I've only been in it once. I'm pretty sure there's no boil humans alive setting though."

"Are you sure?" Bonnie asks dryly. "You're aware of just who lives here? Might be something they do for fun."

Klaus, with his impeccable timing, chooses that moment to poke his head in the door, "Now why would we overcook a perfectly good meal?"

Bonnie glares, dark and deadly, and Caroline hastily steps into her line of sight, in case she starts throwing magic around. "He's joking, Bon. Klaus just doesn't realize that he's not actually funny."

She shoots him her own quelling look, more exasperated than upset, and he merely smirks back, leaning against the open doorway. "Nonsense, my sense of humor is delightful, everyone says so."

"People you're attempting to kill, I'm guessing? I think that counts as duress and you should assume they're lying."

Klaus places a hand over his heart, his face dropping into an exaggeratedly wounded expression. Caroline rolls her eyes, "Did you need something?"

He turns serious in an instant, "Yes, actually. Our guests will be arriving within the hour." Klaus' eyes flit over to Bonnie, and Caroline glances over to find her friend looking puzzled at Klaus' words. She’s not going to start explaining with Klaus in the room. There are things Bonnie needs to hear from Caroline. Privately. "I'll let you know when I'm ready to see them," she says.

He nods in acceptance, rocks back a step, before turning to leave. A thought occurs to Caroline, one she's kind of ashamed is just now popping up. "One sec, Bon," she says, before darting out the room after Klaus. He turns, a brow raised, and she invades his personal space to speak quietly.

It’s weird she even notices considering how she’d spent last night draped all over him.

"Bonnie's mom was a vampire. Can you find out what happened to her? If she's still around?"

"I can," Klaus says. "I even have a reasonably good idea of where to start looking."

"Good. Thank you. Can you let Enzo know what I'm doing? I'll find him as soon as I can."

"And our other guests?" Klaus asks mildly. "Any specifications for how I treat them?"

She knows what he's asking, wonders what it says about her that her first instinct is to ask for a little bloodshed, Damon's in particular. "Are their memories still gone?"

"Yes. It was a clever spell. Your little witch friend is the only person who can break it."

Caroline's not surprised. Of course Damon would craft the tiniest loophole possible. "Then I think they should be comfortable."

“Such generosity.”

“Comfortable for now.” Until their memories have returned, and they’ve confessed to the exact series of events that had led to Caroline and Bonnie losing so many years.

Klaus' eyes gleam, a slow, pleased smile tugging at his lips, "I’ve always enjoyed the way your mind works."

She remembers, had always found it flattering, his intrigue with her brain when so many had only seen a pretty face or attractive body. What does it mean that it's endured?

Klaus tips his head, gestures to the room behind her, "You'd best return, it sounds like someone's getting impatient."

She can hear Bonnie moving around, now that he mentions it, "Right. I should," Still Caroline hesitates. She wants to say thank you, again, but she feels like she's already said it so many times. Knows she'll probably need to say it more, over the coming days and weeks.

"I'll send someone with a tray of food, in a bit. And you may find me, if you need anything."

"Klaus…" Caroline murmurs, trailing off helplessly. She can't find the words but she's always been good at actions. Before she can second guess herself, she puts her hand on his shoulder, rises and brushes her lips over his cheek. He stiffens, and his eyes are slightly wider when she pulls back, trained on her face. She feels a momentary surge of satisfaction at having caught him off guard.

Surely not many can claim the same.

Caroline lets her hand slide down his arm, before she steps back. Throws him on last smile, before she turns on her heel.

Klaus, and all the things between them, will keep. He's proven that. Right now, Bonnie needs her more.

* * * * *

“What? That’s insane. Impossible. She can’t be a vampire. She took the cure. Katherine tried to turn back, remember?”

Bonnie’s restless, crackling with energy. She’s pacing the room, just as Caroline had earlier. They’ve thrown all the curtains in but there’s not a whole lot of natural light to be found. Clouds pack the sky, sitting low and heavy, like a storm threatens. They hadn’t been able to figure out how to open the windows but at least the room is big and well lit.

They’re avoiding the view. Caroline vaguely recognizes the back grounds of Klaus’ Mystic Falls home but it looks way different. Once carefully manicured it’s now little more than a few scraggly patches of brown-yellow grass dotted over rocks and cracked soil. The outbuildings are crumbling and weather beaten and the stone paths that had once wound around the house no longer visible.

Caroline’s doing her best to project calm. So not her forte but she’s had a good chunk of time to process. Someone to lean on (in the most literal sense of the word) and answer her questions. “Bon, you’re a witch. Once upon a time we thought that was impossible.”

Bonnie’s head swivels to shoot Caroline an annoyed look. Caroline’s sitting cross legged at the end of the bed and she tips her head to the side and maintains eye contact until Bonnie huffs out an irritated sigh and resumes walking. “Fine, I will give you that one.”

“Why thank you.”

“She wouldn’t though. Elena never wanted to be a vampire.”

That’s kind of a sticking point for Caroline too. Klaus hadn’t known how or why Elena had turned but he’d had theories. Caroline goes with the most generous, “Maybe it was life or death again. She chose to be a vampire rather than die the first time. If she had to choose again...”

“She wouldn’t sacrifice us though. That’s not Elena.”

Caroline’s not so sure.

Elena had chosen sleep knowing that the future she wanted was on pause. That Damon would be waiting for her, and Stefan would remain unchanged. That she could have everything her little heart desired when she woke up and that she wouldn’t even suffer the agony of waiting. If something threatened that future? Caroline doesn’t trust that Elena’s selflessness would have held.

She’d let go of the things Elena had said and done with her humanity off, had known that holding on to her anger was pointless when Elena hadn’t even been willing to entertain the idea of an apology. She’d rationalized that it wasn’t really Elena. Then she’d flipped her own switch and she’d been entirely herself. The worst parts of herself that she’d tried to temper, yes, but she’s not going to deny they exist. She’s ruthless and blunt, and capable of terrible things in pursuit of her goals.

Some might label those traits as flaws but privately Caroline thinks they can be strengths too.

Elena had always been selective about the flaws she was willing to overlook, a teeny bit in denial about the ones she possessed.

Damon and Stefan were gifted limitless chances. Other people not so much.

Sometime after Damon and Stefan had shown up Elena’s universe had narrowed. Caroline had been aware of just who existed at the center of it. If Damon was the sun and Stefan the moon, destined to be stuck to Elena’s side, Caroline had figured she and Bonnie were planets. Their orbits would grow bigger, away from Mystic Falls, but that they’d still be important. They’d keep track of each other, share milestones, celebrate success and band together in tragedy.

That may have been too rosy a view. Maybe, to Elena, she’s Pluto. Easily demoted.

“She’s here, according to Klaus. Damon and Stefan too. That wouldn’t be possible if she hadn’t turned.”

Bonnie pauses, her head snapping up and her eyes narrowing in suspicion. “Are they the guests Klaus was talking about? He sounded extra smarmy.”

“Yup. Their memories are all messed up. Klaus thinks you’re the only witch on the planet with a fix.”

“Klaus thinks,” Bonnie repeats and there’s a whole heap of distaste in those two little words.

Oh boy.

“I know you don’t like him,” Caroline begins.

“That’s understating it a bit.”

Caroline decides it’s prudent to ignore the interruption. “Or trust him. And you don’t have to. But maybe give him some credit for springing us yesterday.” Caroline’s not sure she would have been able to do it on her own. She’s definitely sure that she wouldn’t have been fast enough for Bonnie to make it out with no ill effects.

“Yeah, about that. He says it’s been a hundred and forty seven years, how did he happen to show up in the exact right place at the exact right time?”

Caroline had really been hoping to avoid that question.

But she’s not going to lie. Or even sugar coat. She and Bonnie need to be a united front.

“Klaus has been… searching for descendants of the witch who sealed us in.”

“And?” Bonnie prompts because she really knows Caroline too well.

“And killing them. If they proved unable to help.” She’s not well versed in the intricacies of magic. Only knows that there’s usually a whole heap of terms and conditions. Klaus had explained, sometime last night, when Caroline had been failing at sleep, that the original witch had anchored the spell to her line. That Damon had compelled her very human husband as a means of making her cooperate. She’d refused to lift it no matter what Klaus had offered or threatened.

Damon had, apparently, used every ounce of self-serving cunning and self-preserving intelligence he’d possessed. Without any memory of the undoubtedly heinous orders he’d given the witch’s husband, Damon couldn’t be forced to undo his compulsion. The spell to seal his memories away had involved Bonnie’s blood and the spell to return them required the same ingredients.

And Bonnie was trapped, her blood well out of reach.

Klaus had seethed with frustration as he’d explained, his body a solid mass of tension where they’d been pressed together. His hands had remained gentle, however, his fingers in her hair soothing.

Caroline still wears his scent on her skin and she’s glad Bonnie’s human senses can’t detect it.

“How many?” Bonnie demands.

“You know, I didn’t ask,” Caroline replies, and that’s not a lie. She hadn’t wanted a count for this very reason.

Bonnie rolls her shoulders, a hand coming up to rub at the back of her neck. “I think I need a couple minutes. To make this all make sense. Is that okay?”

Caroline’s already rising and she scoffs, “Of course it’s okay. We’ve dealt with a whole lot of crazy but this is a brand-new level of nuts. You can have all the time you need to process.”

Bonnie smiles. Just a tiny wan quirk of her lips but Caroline will take it. “Thanks, Care.”

“Come downstairs whenever you’re ready. Klaus has been hoarding spell books that might help with the memory thing but honestly, there’s no rush.”

“Who are you and what have you done with Caroline Forbes?”

It’s a terrible joke but Caroline lets that slide. She shrugs, turning when she reaches the door. “It’s not life or death. I’m alive, you’re alive. Everything else we can figure out, right?”

Bon blinks a little, her eyes shining, and Caroline swallows passed a lump in her throat, rushing forward and throwing her arms around Bonnie. She watches her strength, mindful of how much it’s grown, how weak Bonnie had been just yesterday. Bonnie returns the pressure, her breathing shaky, “We’ll figure it out,” Caroline repeats.

This time it’s a promise, one she intends to keep.

* * * * *

Caroline had been on her way back to her room to wash her face and fix her hair. When she’d gotten closer to the staircase she’d heard the voices. They’re too quiet for her to make out the words but one voice is new, just slightly familiar. Her feet take her down the steps quickly, towards an open door.

There’s no real point in cleaning away the evidence of tears. Enzo had always been annoyingly perceptive about her emotional state and, with the events of the last 24 hours, Caroline’s in no position to attempt to act like she’s okay.

Besides, he’s seen her look far worse.

Caroline deeply regrets the hair and leather pants related mistakes she’d made with her humanity off.

She’s not trying to be stealthy and the conversation pauses, a glass hits a table with a clink.

Her hand touches the door and then everything gets blurry. There’s a crash, she feels a whoosh of air, hears a groan and a tear. Caroline shakes her head, blinks, finds herself staring at the back of Klaus’ neck. Enzo’s there too, right in front of Klaus, wide-eyed and unconcerned about the death grip Klaus has on the collar of his jacket.

She’ll chalk that up to his total lack of a survival instinct.

“Manners, Lorenzo,” Klaus warns, mostly friendly but with the tiniest edge of a threat.

Caroline brushes passed Klaus, a laugh bubbling out of her. She plows into Enzo and he grunts but lifts her off her feet in a bone crushing hug. “It has been far too long,” he mutters into her hair.

She returns the embrace just as fiercely, “Doesn’t feel that long for me but I have missed you.” Enzo sets her down and Caroline notes the room’s other occupant. Kol’s here, slouched on a leather sofa. He lifts his glass in her direction in welcome, Caroline supposes he’s over their breakfast table spat.

“Aren’t you two adorable?” Kol drawls.

Enzo shoots him a casual rude gesture and Klaus laughs softly behind her. His hand presses into her hip briefly, drawing Caroline’s attention. “Drink, love?” he murmurs.

She’s hopeful the booze is less terrible than the food. “Yes, please.”

He makes his way to a cart across the room. It holds glasses, several crystal decanters, Klaus pops the top on one and pours a more than healthy portion. Caroline drops down into an armchair, curls her legs under her. Enzo pats her head and she swats at him but he’s still much faster than her, dodging easily as he throws himself down next to Kol.

And props his feet on the coffee table. Caroline glares a little but he grins at her, unrepentant. Caroline half expects Klaus to comment but he doesn’t seem bothered, leans against the arm of her chair after handing her a glass.

“How’s the little witch?” Kol asks, as if he’s genuinely interested.

“Fully recharged,” Caroline tells him. “She wanted a little time alone to process but she’ll be down later.”

“Have you told her…” Klaus lets the sentence hang.

“Everything I know, she knows.” Caroline twists her head to study Klaus’ reaction, searching for a hint of displeasure of disapproval.

Klaus only nods, “Did you discuss what we’d like done with our other guests?”

“Not really.” She and Bonnie had only decided that the first order of business would be to figure out how to restore the memories that Elena and the Salvatores apparently lacked. “I’d like for them to be kept comfortable. Until we can make them remember.”

AKA warm and fed with all their organs and extremities intact.

She watches Kol as she says it. Klaus had already agreed but she remembers Kol being volatile, fond of bats and not a big fan of Damon.

He moans in exaggerated disappointment, his head rolling back against the couch, his expression growing petulant. “You, darling, are a bit of a fun killer, aren’t you?”

“Elijah’s settling them,” Klaus tells her, ignoring his brother’s complaint. “In separate, well stocked rooms.”

“Cells, technically,” Enzo pipes up.

Kol cheers up a bit, “Well, at least that’s a little bit of torture. As clingy and nauseating at their little triangle is.”

“Did Elena go back to Stefan?”

“Back and forth. Back and forth,” Enzo drawls. “For ages.”

“Took her far too long to work out that she didn’t have to,” Kol adds. “Imagine, being a hundred years old and only just realizing you’ve options other than monogamy?”

Unfortunately, Caroline had just taken a sip of her drink. She chokes on it and her throat burns. Her eyes water and she coughs while Klaus pats her on the back. He sounds distinctly amused when he speaks, “She insisted on living with humans. Got a little caught up in the norms.”

“This is really too much information,” Caroline manages, her voice weak. She’s also seriously regretting her honesty is the best policy vow. This is not gossip she wants to have to relay to Bonnie.

“Jealous? You’d developed a bit of a thing for Stefan, hadn’t you?”

Ugh. Had it just been a few minutes ago that she’d been elated to see Enzo?

Klaus straightens next to her, putting more distance between their bodies and lifting his hand away. This time, Caroline does not check his reaction. “I got over that pretty quickly, thank you very much.”

“Oh?” Enzo asks, like he doesn’t believe her.

Caroline takes another sip of her drink, this time welcoming the fire when she swallows. “I wasn’t good with change. With everything that happened with my mom…” Caroline hadn’t been ready to lose her mother. She’d had plans – she’d wanted to graduate college and get a job, to make her mom proud while she could, knowing that by the time she hit thirty-five or so she wouldn’t be able to show her face in Mystic Falls without whispers starting.

With her mother’s death Caroline’s reasons for playing at being human evaporated. She’d taken a leap, dropped out of college, and bought a plane ticket. Had quickly realized that there were plenty of new experiences worth having.

“Stefan was familiar,” Caroline says, keeping it simple because Kol really doesn’t need to know her personal business, outdated though it is. “After I left I found I didn’t actually need familiar.”

“I could have told you that.”

She makes a face, barely resists the urge to stick out her tongue. Enzo’s not the least bit chastised. His boots squeak against the polished coffee table as he gets comfortable. “Tell me, Gorgeous, what’s the plan then? We just wait?”

She’s about to snap an apology for inconveniencing him but Klaus speaks first, “It shouldn’t be too long. I believe we have the spell, the wi…” Caroline sees him glance at her when he pauses. He smiles at her, all warmth and dimples, and corrects himself. “Bonnie just has to look it over. It’ll take a few days to track down the necessary ingredients but she likely shouldn’t be spilling blood immediately, given her condition.”

“Is my usual room ready?” Enzo asks.

It’s so weird that he has a usual freaking room.

“Of course,” Klaus answers, the tiniest hint of offense making the words come out clipped.

Caroline takes another drink. A bigger one. “I’m going to need the full story of how you two became bffs. Like, right now.”

Enzo smirks, his eyes growing gleeful, “It was a rocky road, Gorgeous. There was bloodshed, severed limbs.”

“His,” Klaus mutters darkly.

He doesn’t try to stop the story, however. Only interjects when Enzo begins to embellish and occasionally to supply extra details.

It’s not long until Caroline’s sides hurt from laughing.

For the first time she feels like maybe, somehow, she really will be okay.

* * * * *

It takes a minute for Elena to realize she’s no longer alone. Caroline hadn’t announced herself but she’s kind of surprised Elena’s not more alert. She looks miserable, wrapped in a blanket on the mattress in the corner of the cell. It’s not her only blanket, she’s got a whole pile. Pillows too. It’s only the locked door that makes the room a cell because it’s clean and dry and well lit.

Far nicer than a cave.

The door’s feature small barred cut-outs, high enough that Caroline doesn’t have to duck to look through them.

There are guards behind her, at the bottom of the staircase, but they hadn’t tried to stop or discourage her. Caroline thinks they’re hybrids but she’s not sure how that’s possible. It’s another question to add to her endless list. It’s mental list for now. Klaus had informed her that paper and pens were no longer commonly used. She’d been horrified and he’d smiled, had told he’d sacrifice one of his sketchbooks and some pencils for her until he could track down something suitable.

He’d offered a tablet too but nothing is as satisfying as striking off a task on paper.

Stefan had glanced up as she’d passed his cell. They’d eyed each other for a moment before he’d bowed his head once more.

It had felt like a dismissal and she’d be lying if she claimed it hadn’t annoyed her.

She can hear Damon moving, breathing harshly. Dull thuds that must be him slamming into the walls. Idly, she wonders if putting Elena in the center cell had been purposeful or coincidence. She doesn’t travel beyond Elena’s cell, has no pressing need to check on Damon.

Elena’s still a pretty crier, no snot or splotchy skin, just big fat tears and attractively clumped lashes. Her hair is shorter than Caroline’s ever seen it, resting just at her collarbones but that’s it. Physically, the Elena before her is identical to the Elena she’d always known.

Caroline taps at the door and Elena startles, springing from the bed and pressing her back to the wall. Her face is twisted in anger but confusion takes over when she spots Caroline. “Who are you?” she asks warily.

Well. That’s weird. She’d shared dolls with Elena, games of Candyland. Giggled about crushes and complained about pop quizzes. There’s no hint recognition in Elena’s red-rimmed eyes.  

She takes another step closer, “My name’s Caroline.”

Damon’s stilled and Stefan’s risen. A glance to her left and right shows the they’re peering out at her. Elena can’t see them and she’s waiting, like she expects a longer explanation. “Where’s your boss?” she spits, when Caroline remains quiet.

“I don’t have one of those.” Technically, she’s never had one of those. She’d had ideas about trying her hand at a career or two, hadn’t gotten the chance.

“Klaus,” Stefan cuts in. “Where is Klaus?”

Caroline shrugs, points upwards. He’s somewhere upstairs. Bonnie had emerged from her room, had begun to go through the research Klaus has compiled over the years. He’d excused himself to make a call, had said something about arranging for reinforcements. “I’m not a hybrid. Just a regular ol’ vampire. About the same age as you, actually. And I don’t work for Klaus.”

The noise Elena makes is disbelieving. “Sure you don’t. Why else would you be here? Unless you’re…” she trails off, her eyes flitting over Caroline in a way that’s familiar in it’s silent judgement. Caroline’s sure she’s trying to find a safe euphemism but she apparently fails. “…with him,” Elena finishes.

Caroline keeps her reply simple. She doesn’t owe anyone in this basement an explanation. “He’s helping me with something.”

“Klaus doesn’t help people.”

Technically false. “Really? I thought it was pretty helpful when he offered up a hybrid for you to kill so you didn’t spend a few decades going insane.”

Elena shrinks back, growing fearful once more. “How do you know about that?”

“We used to know each other.” Kind of an understatement but Elena’s not going to believe her anyway.

“We’ve never met.”

“We have,” Caroline counters. “I don’t actually remember when.”

Mystic Falls had been small, and big on community celebrations. She assumes she’d met Elena and Bonnie at one of them, had been plopped in a group with kids her age under the semi-attentive eye of whatever grown up was the most likely to go easy on the spiked punch.

Elena’s watching her with some measure of concern. Caroline can’t blame her. A stranger, talking nonsense, while you’re trapped in a cell is bound to be alarming.

She should probably apologize for the kidnapping thing but she’s not sure if Elena deserves it.

Elena moves forward again, her big brown eyes once again pleading, and her voice turns soft. “Listen, Caroline. If you need help, I’ll help you. We’ll help you if you get us out. But Klaus is… Klaus is bad news, okay? You need to get me out of here. Damon and Stefan too. He’s going to kill us. Torture us.”

A demand, one that’s annoyingly condescending. Not even a request.

“He’s not going to torture you.”

Caroline’s hoping that, whatever went down, Elena had been kept in the dark. Damon and Stefan had tended to get high handed and she thinks it’s plausible that they’d decided on a course of action for Elena, had decided what her best interest was and hadn’t cared about collateral damage.

The door to the next cell rattles and she hears a strangled grunt. Glancing over Caroline sees Damon, his pale blue eyes just as startling as she remembers. He’s livid, his color high and his mouth is ringed with dried blood. He makes more sounds, feral inarticulate noises that don’t resemble actual words.

Elena’s frantic, stretched up on her toes, her head pressed to the bars but there’s no way she can see Damon. She glares at Caroline, “Do you not consider cutting out a tongue torture?”

A throat clears behind her and one of the guard pipes up, “Technically, that was Kol.”

Ah. She should have known. He’d acquiesced so easily.

Caroline wonders if she should be outraged but she finds she can’t muster the energy. ““I mean, it is but it’ll grow back.”

Elena gasps, “That’s not the point.”

“The Damon I remember was really bad at knowing when to shut up.”

Elena recoils, watching Caroline warily now. “And that makes it okay?”

It’s not a debate Caroline’s willing to entertain, especially when there’s no point in reminding Elena what a giant freaking hypocrite she’s being.

Stefan says her name, catching her attention. “Caroline,” he repeats, drawing out the syllables. “Klaus asked us about you. Several times.”

This time the noise Damon makes is a snarl and Caroline figures those were not civilized conversations. “Like I said, he’s been helping me.”

“For a hundred years?”

“More like a hundred and fifty.”

She can still read Stefan. He’s measuring her, trying to figure out how loyal she is to Klaus, if he can use her. He’s going to be disappointed. “An awfully long time,” he finally says, carefully neutral.

Caroline laughs even though none of her present company will get the joke, “Didn’t feel like it.”

She studies each of her old friends in turn. Stefan’s got his brows furrowed in frustration, Damon’s tense like he’s considering going for her throat, thick doors be damned. Elena’s sad and anxious, her knuckles white where they clutch the edge of the window.

Part of her hadn’t understood what it meant that she’d been erased. She’d half expected recognition. That seeing her in the flesh would shake whatever magic that had been weaved loose. She’d hoped for answers. At the very least she’d wanted a target for her anger.

Of course it’s not that simple.

* * * * *

She’d planned to sleep in her own bed.

Had showered, explored the bottles and tubes of sweet-smelling lotions and creams that had appeared in the bathroom adjacent to the room she’d been given. Had used up several hours making notes in the sketchbook Klaus had provided while scouring the internet for answers to some of her more practical questions.

She’s super disappointed that flying cars still haven’t become a common mode of transportation.

When she’d settled under the covers and closed her eyes she’d begun to get anxious. It wasn’t the silence because music hadn’t help. She’d turned on a lamp, just in case it was the dark. She’d grown tense as she’d lain there, struggling to take even inhales and exhales. Had thrown off the blankets once she’d grown hot and sweat slicked.

Her mind had kept returning to waking up alone, in the cave. To the moment when she’d realized she was trapped, when she hadn’t been sure if Bonnie was alive. She’d felt utterly alone and so scared. That same terror creeps into her bones, until she’s shaking and curled into a tight ball, her teeth grinding together.

Maybe she should have stuck it out. She’d known she was safe. That Bonnie was just next door, that it would be daylight again in just a few hours.

The longer she’d lain there, unsleeping, the harder it had been to tell herself that she needed to.

Why she should have to suffer? It’s not like Klaus is going to judge her or turn her away. He’d made that clear last night. She’s not sure what time it is when she gives up, only knows that she can’t hear a peep from any of the other occupants of the house.

She finds Klaus’ door wide open.

She can see him propped up in the center of his bed. He watches her approach, shifts to one side, an invitation he doesn’t bother to voice.

She reaches behind her once she crosses the threshold and shuts the door, fingers fumbling for a lock.

It’s warm when she tucks herself under the covers and she sighs and stretches out her legs, her muscles unclenching in relief. Klaus sinks down until his head rests on a pillow, on his side facing her. There’s no hint that she’s not welcome.

It used to make her jittery, the way Klaus looked at her. She’d tried to tell herself that he wasn’t actually interested, that he had a motive or a lack of other prospects in the immediate vicinity. That his pretty words were practiced lines and that he’d offered trips and trinkets to a thousand people before her.

Caroline knows she was wrong. That if she’d been only convenient he never would have bothered digging her out of that cave.

That should scare her.

Should.

Caroline pulls the heavy comforter over her shoulders, wonders if she should just say screw it and cross the few inches that separate her from Klaus now, or if she should make a show of getting heavy eyed and sleepy first.

“Something wrong with your bed, love?” Klaus teases.

Ugh, he’s so not going to let her get away with faking sleep before she gets hands-y, is he?

She rolls until she faces away from Klaus but rests against him. “Shut up,” she mutters, reaching back to grab his arm. She wraps it around her middle, rests her hand over top of his and squirms until they’re comfortably pressed together. He takes the hint beautifully, his legs bending to tangle with hers.

She feels him laughing, his breath against the back of her neck. “I’ll take that as a no, then.”

They shift, settling, and Caroline finds that she can breathe easy now that she can focus on the faint thrum of Klaus’ heartbeat. “How did your visit downstairs go?” he asks.

Caroline scoffs, tugs at a leather cord on his wrist, “Like your minions didn’t report back my every word.”

“They would have. I didn’t ask.”

Caroline finds that she’s smiling, presses her face into the pillow to try to hide it. It’s a simple statement but it tells her that Klaus trusts her. She hadn’t expected that.

“They don’t remember me. I knew they wouldn’t but I still didn’t totally expect it. I felt… expendable a lot, you know? I thought I’d gotten past that but… they kind of brought that all back.”

His grip on her tightens, his stubble scraping her skin as he shakes his head. “You are not expendable.”

“I know,” she answers, firm and steady.

Caroline isn’t who she’d been when she’d called Mystic Falls home. Getting out had been good to her. She’d lost the instinct to second guess her actions, to wonder if her choices would negatively impact her friends. Outside of the tiny town, away from all the people who’d known her all her life, she hadn’t worried about anyone whispering about how she was disgracing her family name or embarrassing her mother.

She’d shed insecurities as she’d hopped planes and trains.

Caroline knows she deserves to be happy, that she matters. Leap frogging into the future hasn’t changed her mind.

“Good,” Klaus rumbles, a wealth of satisfaction in his tone.

Caroline shifts back slightly, nudging him with her elbow, “What? Did you seriously expect me to argue?”

She knows he’s smiling, can hear it in his taunt, “Are you implying that you’re not argumentative, love?”

Caroline twists to glare at him, “I’m going to ignore that obvious baiting because I recognize that I’m totally invading your space right now.”

“It’s not baiting, it’s a statement of fact. And I’m not implying it’s a defect. Quite the opposite, really.”

She studies Klaus carefully, judges that he’s being honest, and turns until her head’s once more resting on the pillow.  “So I like a lively debate, sue me,” she mutters.

Klaus laughs, so softly that she feels it more than hears it. Caroline closes her eyes, lets the warmth of him behind her help ease her into sleep.

Tomorrow’s bound to be another whirlwind of a day.

[pandawritespoorly]

With Time: Sandwiches & More

Author’s Note: *looks around, then walks in awkwardly*

Heyyyyy, guys. It's uh, been a minute, hasn't it? I kind of disappeared, huh? Still here though! With the whole stay inside thing, I didn't realize how long it had been. The days just kind of blend together.

Anyways, I'm here, and I felt bad, so I quick wrote out the debate one-shot I've been excited about so you guys could have something! Sorry about disappearing! Love you guys!! 💕💕💕

(Google changed my go-to emojis. I don't know how I feel about this.)

Summary: Claude has a new discussion point.

Claude is the last to sit down at the lunch table, and the first thing out of their mouth is. “Is pizza a sandwich? Discuss.”

“No!” Marinette and Chloe exclaim.

Felix shakes his head, and Allegra glances down at her pizza, then sets it down. “I’m scared.”

“Why not?” Adrien declares. “Pizza is a sandwich now!”

Allan turns to Claude. “I’m currently with the majority. What points do you have?”

“Why is pizza not an open face sandwich?” Claude challenges, “What actually sets it apart except for the name.”

Marinette looks like her brain has melted, and Chloe shakes her head. “It just isn’t. Pizza is not a sandwich.”

Felix stares at Claude in shock, “I never truly expected one of your little debates to be anything other than chaotic. This is interesting.”

“Ya’ make a good point,” Allan concedes. “Why can’t pizza be a sandwich?”

“Why are open face sandwiches sandwiches? What gives them the qualifications?” Allegra demands.

“The name ‘sandwich’ in their name. Duh.” Adrien rolls his eyes.

She swats him. “So should they even have that name in the first place.”

“Probably not,” Chloe decides, “If it breaks Mari like this.”

Marinette has steepled her fingers in front of her face, leaning forward slightly, and staring a hole into the table blankly, mumbling to herself. It’s hard to make out most of what she’s saying, but at some point she clearly says, “My life is a lie. Maybe. My life has the potential to be a lie.”

Felix pokes her shoulder and gets no response. Claude snorts, “Oops.”

Allan sighs, taking the ice pack out of his lunch box and pressing it into her arm. She hisses, jumping back while he calmly returns it to its spot. Continuing on as though nothing happened, he argues, “But ‘sandwich’ bein’ in their name is important. Clearly it’s an important part of their identity as food, so we can’t just throw it out. Someone called it a sandwich, and society has largely accepted that it is. Throwing it out for the sake of excluding pizza seems extreme.”

“Maybe, but it must be done.” Chloe crosses her arms.

Felix frowns. “He makes a good point though. If we are to accept open face sandwiches as sandwiches, we have no good reason to exclude other dishes - such as pizza.”

Chloe gasps, clutching Allegra’s arm. “Oh my Kwami! Felix has turned against us. Felix and Claude are on the same side of one of these debates.”

“The world is ending.” Allegra decides. “Therefore this isn’t an issue any more.”

“It will always be an issue. It will haunt me for eternity,” Marinette whispers.

“Guys,” Sabrina interjects, “Pizza is a sandwich. The real question is if a wrap is a sandwich, and by extension, burritos.”

“YES!” Claude shouts.

“No,” Adrien decides firmly.

Allan stares between the two. “The world really is ending.”

The blond continues, “They’re raviolis.” He takes a decisive bite of his food.

“Nevermind, the earth is spinning and the sun is shining. We’re good.”

“Oh my goodness,” Marinette whispers, “Raviolis are sandwiches.”

“WE HAVE MARI! WOO!!”

“I’m so proud.” Adrien wipes a tear from his eye.

“I’m scared,” Allegra whispers

Chloe shakes her head. “I’m more scared that Felix is legitimately considering this.”

Felix hums in thought. “And what of tacos?”

“Fold over sandwiches,” Allan explains, “The shell just isn’t flexible enough to bend all the way.”

“...”

“OH MY GOD HE’S CONSIDERING IT!”

“I think… arguments could be made, but the intention of the food is important as well. An open face sandwich is a sandwich because that is the intention of its creator - for it to be a sandwich. With pizza, the intention is not there, and by that logic, it is not a sandwich.”

Before anyone can respond to that, Marinette gasps in horror, then, barely above a whisper, contributes, “Frosted jelly donuts are ravioli pizza sandwiches.”

Claude stands, slamming the table with his hands. “MARINETTE CROISSANT DUPAIN-CHENG I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!”

Adrien grabs her shoulders. “Mari me.”

“My life is a lie. My parent’s business is a lie. Do we run a pizzeria???” She clutches her face.

Allan carefully separates Adrien from Marinette. “You have my blessing, but she’s having a mid lunch crisis, so hold off on the wedding.”

Sabrina stares at Marinette. “Do they run a pizzeria?”

“No,” Felix corrects, “They do not. Once again, the intention is not for it to be pizzeria, not to mention that simply because pizzas fall into the category of some of their goods, does not make said goods pizzas.”

“Marinette is my padawan, I love her so much and am endlessly proud.” Claude sniffs, dramatically pretending to wipe a tear from his eye.

“Today is a weird day,” Allegra mumbles, “Today is a very weird day, and now I’m scared.”

“Are frosted cookies pizzas?” Adrien asks excitedly.

“Definitely.”

“How did this discussion devolve into breaking down any and all categories between food?” Felix sighs.

“Because Claude started it,” Chloe deadpans.

Marinette falls over into Chloe’s lap. “Am I a ravioli?”

Everyone pauses, and in unison, Claude and Adrien concede, “I mean…”

“No, absolutely not.” Allan interrupts. “Do not even finish that sentence, you two.”

Chloe pats Marinette’s head comfortingly.

---

Author’s Note: I am Marinette, though I did dial her up to an extreme for Drama Purposes™ and Chaos Potential™.

Sooooo? What'd you think? It really started out pretty calm for these guys, but then Marinette broke and Chaos ensued. We all know that when I say 'what do you think' when there's a debate that there will be a survey. Here it is!!

Edit: At long last, we have the results!! Find them here!

Love you guys!! I hope you're all safe and well! Hope this could make your quarantine just a little more bearable! 💖💞💝💕

---

(This part is just my current plans for works, where I've been, what to expect, etc. Feel free to scroll past) I do plan on regularly updating A Shy Sparrow. I don't know how to start the next chapter, so I've been procrastinating big time. That said, I'm posting this partially to peer pressure myself into working on it. It's one thing to not update when you've been MIA for two weeks, it's another when you just posted something saying you'd work on it. My procrastination has consisted of three things for the most part. One, I thought of a new Chloe-centric story that I got really excited about. I was doing a lot of planning for that, so that I could have an idea of the plot by the time I got around to it. Secondly, I randomly got struck with with inspiration to work on an original idea I have, which happens occasionally. There's a few things keeping me from being able to actually build on it, but I've still been doing a little. We'll see how it goes. Thirdly, sometimes I just write random little stories that won't get posted for a number of reasons. I've been doing that, just having fun. There's also the fact that I do have online classes. I am the biggest procrastinator, and online classes are something I could easily get into the habit of pushing aside. I'm trying to avoid having that happen, and it's going well so far! For those of you curious, A Shy 'Sparrow' is looking to be about 10-15 chapters. It could easily end up being less, but that's the assumption I've been working with for this story, and it's looking accurate. Same goes for Memories Never Truly Die, but I haven't written for that as recently so that estimate is a little looser. That Chloe story is up in the air, I'm only in the planning stage. Anyway, I hope to post things more regularly again. With the coronavirus going on, we all need a distraction, and I'd love to be able to provide at least a small one. For those of you wondering, I'm doing just fine! My family and friends are well too. Everyone, stay safe and wash your hands! Do what you can, and stay strong! 💞💞💞💞

[marshmallowgoop]

I write stuff, at times. I swear.

(Check it out! These are my research books and plot outline for this novel that I’ve been working on for nearly half a decade!)

So, it’s National Novel Writing Month, and I’ll probably be a little absent from this site for the rest of November ‘cause I’m trying to write a 50,000-word novel in 30 days and am also the boss lady (ML) for the event in my area and have boss lady things that I should be doing.

Buuut since my novel is my Kill la Kill fairytale AU (which I even have a tag for!), posting about the project isn’t totally procrastinating, right? 

Anyway, I’ve written drafts of this story for two NaNos already (2016 and 2017), and the first draft is basically getting totally flushed down the toilet, but the second draft is closer to what I wanna go for, so I’ve been revisiting it to see what I wanna do with my NaNo 2019 attempt. 

And did you know? Maybe kinda relevant to all the anon hate lately, one OC I wrote for the story is a villain that exemplifies a lot of what I hate about myself. Her situation is of course different than mine—I ain’t beautiful, lol—but her jealousy, vindictiveness, egotism, etc. are all things that I despise about me.

Like, I guess maybe you could consider her my evil self-insert. Pfft.

I dunno how much of her backstory will really be in the final draft, and it’s definitely way, waaaaaaaaay too much right now ‘cause it was written for NaNo and all, lol, but tl;dr, tl;dr, I guess one big message of my entire story is that being bitter and envious isn’t fair to anyone, destroys others and yourself, and I gotta knock that crap off or be just as awful as this awful, awful woman (who arguably literally caused some of the biggest problems in the book).

If anyone’s interested in reading, I’ve included her segment under the cut! (As well as a little segment about Senketsu ‘cause that’s just where it was placed ‘cause this novel is a disaster in terms of organization, lol.) It’s super messy and unedited ‘cause it was written for NaNo, and I only lightly cleaned up some grammar and placeholder names for this upload, but eyyy, I swear I do write creatively, sometimes!!

And maybe me being so honest about the stuff I hate about myself will do something for others, I dunno. I can only hope ^^; 

From Chapter 5, “About King Prasenajit’s Daughter Ugly Adamantina”

As it would happen, the curse that befell the beautiful empress’s princess was quite the complicated affair. If the man in the cave could have been there and could have known, he might have begun the story by speaking in great length of a woman from a kingdom far beyond the Kingdom of the Reed Plains.

The woman, you see, was a magnificent, wondrous healer. She knew her medicines and herbs better than anyone had ever seen, and she knew how to combine them better than anyone had ever seen, too. And so it was said, as it may be imagined, that she was a prodigy of her craft, and she was a genius, and she could only be a miracle doctor sent from the gods.

But it was not purely the healer’s knowledge that made her well known throughout her kingdom and others. The healer, much as the empress of the Kingdom of the Reed Plains, was also extraordinarily beautiful. People would come from far and wide to set their eyes upon her, just as people would the empress, and those who were lucky enough to be her patient would say, in great sincerity, that the healer’s beauty alone was enough to cure them of all sickness and pain.

So you must imagine that when the empress sent for all the best doctors and healers in her land and lands far beyond that this miracle doctor was called for. The healer received the invitation one quiet afternoon, and she tried her very hardest to hide her displeasure as she listened to the empress’s messenger speak.

All those with the healer were left open-mouthed by the messenger’s letter. They oohed and ahed, and then they very quickly turned their attention to the woman to whom the letter had been addressed to.

The woman smiled her politest smile, bowing before the messenger as though the messenger herself was the empress

“It is a great honor that you have come all this way,” the healer said, and she hoped very heartily that her irritation did not seem apparent in her voice. “I am much humbled to be called upon by the empress of the Kingdom of the Reed Plains herself, and I pray for the empress’s health and happiness, and for the health and happiness of her child.”

The healer rose from her bow now. “However, I cannot leave my patients, and so I must decline.” She bowed again, her dark hair falling over her shoulders and concealing the cruel smile on her lips.

Silence fell over the room. To decline a royal order was unheard of, and the poor messenger seemed at a loss for what to say to the woman’s refusal.

Everyone’s eyes had fallen upon the woman. She was no longer smiling. There was a great sense of dread building inside her, as though she had swallowed an entire snake whole.

It was a royal order, the healer realized, even if it was not a royal order from her own country.

And so, with another great bow, and knowing that there was nothing she could do, the woman said, “Please forgive my manners. I will be on my way.”

The healer did indeed travel to the empress’s kingdom. It was a long journey, quite uncomfortable if the healer could say so herself, and all the while, her human heart grew colder and colder.

To help the empress of the Kingdom of the Reed Plains! the healer thought to herself. It was the very last thing she could have ever wanted because, you see, she was quite worn of hearing of the empress’s beauty.

“They say, good healer,” she had been told, time and time again, “that she is even more beautiful than you yourself!”

The healer had to listen and listen to such sentiments and always smile so politely back at them, as though she truly liked to be compared in such a manner! It was a disgusting thing, the healer thought to herself all throughout her journey to the Kingdom of the Reed Plains. Not only did she have to go so many ri away from her homeland, but she had to use her skills to help this woman who could not possibly appreciate her own beauty!

How could she ever appreciate her beauty as I appreciate my beauty? the healer asked herself. Only small people came to tell the healer of her wondrous looks, you see, and the healer always adored every single one of her admirers, but the empress was adored by big people, and very big people came to even catch a glimpse of her, and she could not be like the healer herself, the healer knew, because she had to be very haughty and condescending and must surely not be thankful for the great gift of beauty she had received!

But I am thankful, the healer told herself, and she continued to tell herself this as she went on her way. She thought to herself that someone as high and mighty as the empress did not deserve her talents, and a woman like that also could not understand what it would be like to be born ugly, because a woman like that could never, ever appreciate what a great gift beauty truly is in the cruel, inhospitable world that they both lived in.

It is here, then, that the healer began to entertain a great, terrible idea.

She thought to herself, It would be most wonderful, if the empress’s child is born hideous!

And so the healer laughed to herself, and she thought herself quite amazing to consider such a thing, but she never did consider the thought anything more than a thought.

That is, you see, until the healer first arrived at the empress’s palace.

#

The story of the bitter-hearted healer is a story that the man in the cave could not tell you.

The man in the cave could also not tell you about love between humans and demons to Satsuki or anybody else. That is also a story the man does not know.

Perhaps, too, he does not want to know.

But the little red demon knows this story. It is the story that fills his blood and built his bones, and it is the story he will dedicate his life to believing.

Indeed, to the little red demon, the story that the man in the cave tells Satsuki one day—of demons and humans as mortal enemies where peace is impossible, and only one can be the victor—feels as wrong to the child as a waterfall that he has never seen flowing backwards, up a cliff.

But it is this story, you see, that the little demon heard time and time again from his mama’s setsuwa and stories.

“Why is it,” the red demon asked his mother one day, long before he catches his sister prepared to drink their mama’s blood and long before he comes across the young Ryuko collapsed in the snow, “that in all of Mama’s tales, the demons want to hurt the humans?”

He had thought at first that it was simply the case of a few villainous demons. There are surely many stories where humans play the role of the evil force that must be vanquished. But the demon soon saw that humans were allowed to be heroes and kind princesses and great shining beauties. All demons ever could be were empty-headed and ugly and horrible, ravenous beasts.

The demon saw, too, the way his mama’s face would turn red in the same manner in which his face would turn green as she told him, “Do not let these stories about the bad demons make you feel as though you are destined to be bad and nothing more. There are many good demons, too.”

But Mama could not seem to tell the little red demon a single story she had heard about a good demon.

Mother had been at the loom when the red demon asked why it is the demons must always be the villain. She was weaving, chan, chan, chan, karin, and this she continued to do as she answered the little demon’s question, her amber eyes fixed on her work.

“Those stories are very ordinary human stories, my love,” she said. “If I were to tell you demon stories—and I could not, I must say, because I am not very much good with words like your dear mama—then you would see that the demons see the humans as the humans see the demons.”

The red demon was left very confused indeed. “But why would the humans and the demons want to see each other as evil?” he asked. “Isn’t it ordinary for humans and demons to be together?”

Mother still did not look the little red demon’s way. She seemed distant, as though a thousand ri away. “No, my love,” she said. “Your Mama and I are... not very ordinary at all.” A smile was on her lips as she told him so, but she seemed almost sad at the statement, as though the admittance of being unordinary brought a sort of pain, the kind that the demon would come to feel when he looks upon the fallen girl in the snow.

“Demons and humans are not meant to mix,” Mother said. “That is what everyone will tell you, both humans and demons, and even the little birds that come to visit this home will tell you, too.”

The little red demon still did not understand. The situation became ever more puzzling to the child, as incomprehensible as the world saw the red demon’s very existence.

“But you are very happy together,” he said. He frowned, the usual chan, chan, chan, karin of his mother’s loom no longer the soothing sound of his childhood but an anxious rhythm that the demon could not free from his mind.

“No, we are very happy together,” he insisted.

Mother laughed. “Yes, my little smart one,” she said. She patted the demon’s head, careful to avoid the horns that were just growing from his scalp. “But most people, my love, human and demon alike, do not believe it is possible.” She smiled again, though it still looked strange and distant, and she took her hands from the loom where she had been weaving, finally turning her eyes upon her son.

The little demon saw that she had been crying.

“Most people,” she said, “believe it is a curse for a demon to let a human into their heart, and for a human to let a demon into theirs.”

Mother turned her wet eyes away from the little red demon. “But I would do it,” she told him, unwaveringly, as though speaking a grand declaration no matter the quiet whisper of her voice.

And the red demon felt it was more to herself than to him that his mother then said, “If she would let me, I would grant her every wish and keep a piece of her within me, always.”

#

A story the man in the cave does know, as it would happen, is the story of how demons hold within them the power to grant any human’s wish.

This, you see, is a story that more humans once understood, back when the Kingdom of the Reed Plains had not been cursed to be covered in an endless, inhospitable snow that would not disappear and could not disappear.

It was a story that the bitter-hearted healer who had gone to see the empress had known, and she considered this story her first evening she spent in the beautiful empress’s palace as she peered outside to the lands that were not her kingdom and not anything much like her home country.

If I would give my heart to demons to have a wish granted, she thought to herself, I would not have my wish be to make the empress’s child born hideous.

But it would be such a nice thing, she considered some more, if I could truly make such a reality with my own two hands.

Another healer interrupted her thoughts with a great curse of her own. This healer was unabashed in her complaints and did not keep them locked deeply away as the bitter-hearted healer did.

This healer said, “I am number 37, can you believe it?” She expressed a great many more curses, crossing her arms and pouting in a manner that the bitter-hearted healer could not help but find quite admirable.

“I am number 43, myself,” she said. She smiled politely, as she was so very used to doing in her practice. “I am sure I will not be able to return to my home kingdom for quite a long while yet.”

At this, the other healer offered a sympathetic look. “Oh,” she said, and she shook her head, as though ashamed of herself. “I live very near this palace, and here I have been cursing!”

“You have every right to be upset,” said the bitter-hearted healer. She tried very hard to restrain herself from clenching up her fists at the thought of the beautiful empress and how that woman had successfully called her to this wretched palace.

The other healer smiled at that. “I most certainly do have all the reason in the world to be upset!” she said. “Calling upon so many healers and doctors! You must forgive our empress.” She lowered her voice, until she was near whispering. “She is just very afraid of losing a fourth child, you see.”

This the bitter-hearted healer understood perfectly, and had the empress been another, uglier woman, perhaps the healer would have been meant it, when she said, “I wish the best for her and her child.”

“With all these healers and doctors, there won’t be any need for wishing,” answered the other healer, and then she was quite quiet for a moment before she added, “To tell the truth, I wasn’t happy with my number because I wished to return to my family as soon as possible, but also....” She paused, as though bashful. “It’s maybe a bit silly, but I’m afraid I won’t even be able to meet the beautiful empress with my late number! I was hoping to make my family very jealous for getting to be in the same room as her!”

The bitter-hearted healer’s smile slipped, just slightly. She then made her smile all the brighter as she answered, “I have heard that she is quite a sight.”

“So the talk of her beauty goes beyond even our little Kingdom of the Reed Plains!” cried the other healer. “I so wish to see for myself.”

The healer then looked very carefully at the bitter-hearted woman.

“I hope you don’t mind my saying, Miss, but I almost find it hard to imagine a woman prettier than you.”

The bitter-hearted healer’s smile became very wicked. “You flatter me!” she said. “I am sure I cannot hold even a candle to the empress’s beauty.”

“I suppose we will see about that,” said the other healer.

But the bitter-hearted healer very much did not want to see about it. She had only been in the empress’s palace a few mere hours, but already it seemed an eternity, and so there came the time when the bitter-hearted healer—surely not thinking clearly, mind you—left her room that night and walked very resolutely to the palace gates. The other doctors and healers looked at her quite oddly as she did this, and the guards of the palace questioned her quite thoroughly.

“It is unwise,” said one of the palace guards, “to walk the streets at night, when the demons are about.”

The healer considered it might almost be a blessing, if she could be eaten by demons and never have to come before the horrible empress she did not want to see!

But the healer smiled very politely, as she was so very used to doing from her practice. “My number is very far off, you see,” she said, and she showed the guard the parchment with 43 written cleanly upon it. “I have relatives not far from this palace, and I would very much like to spend the night with them, if you understand.”

The guard shifted uncomfortably. “I understand...” he said, “But you were to come here, on royal orders—“

“And I will return,” said the bitter-hearted healer. Though she had interrupted the man, the tone of her voice had become sweeter than sugared honey. Her impertinence almost seemed kind.

“Yes, I hear what you are saying,” said the guard, and once more he shifted uncomfortably, “but you must understand....”

He could not finish his words. The bitter-hearted healer ran fingers through her slick black hair. She batted her eyelashes, only a small amount. “I know it is dangerous,” she said, “but I am a healer, and I am very good at what I do—as I am sure you know because I am standing here before you right this moment!—and if any demon were to try to hurt me, I could heal myself in just an instant!”

The bitter-hearted healer bowed down very low before the guard. “Please, good man, I am begging you to let me go.”

It was with a great hesitance that the guard did exactly so.

But the truth is that the bitter-hearted healer had no family in that kingdom. She knew no one at all in the Kingdom of the Reed Plains, and she entertained the thought that she could run away to a new settlement somewhere, perhaps by the mountains, and then she could avoid ever seeing the empress and ever living with the shame from refusing a royal order from a kingdom allied with her own.

The person she was at that moment could be considered lost. She could start a new life, and she could become a healer even more renowned than she had been in her backwater hometown. The healer’s head buzzed with ideas, bun, bun. Of course she could start up a new business someplace far away! She was so beautiful that she would quickly become the talk of the town no matter where it is she went!

This thought brought the bitter-hearted healer to stop in her tracks. No, she thought, she could not become the talk of the town in a town where the only beauty anyone could speak of was an empress who did not appreciate her beauty nor deserve it!

The healer clutched the lantern she had taken with her on her journey away from the palace quite tightly. Why did all her thoughts keep returning to such a terrible woman? Even when she had been thinking of the new life she would build for herself, the healer could not help but think of the empress.

She frowned to herself, all by herself in a great kingdom with a wondrous empress, in the forest just beyond the palace, no less, and she thought to herself that she must be such a pitiful sight that even demons would take pity upon her and spare her life should they ever find her.

The bitter-hearted healer, however, did not realize that she was so stuffed full of bitterness and cold that she smelled quite terrible to the demons who were indeed wandering about the Kingdom of the Reed Plains that night.

“That atrocious stench is ruining all the wonderful ones,” the woman heard a demon complain (though she was not aware that it was a demon speaking because the healer did not truly expect to come across demons in her great escape from the palace).

Zushin, zushin, the healer heard, thud, thud, stomp, stomp.“It must be another cold heart,” said another demon (that the healer again was not aware was truly a demon at all).

But it is quite disconcerting to hear voices that you cannot see the source of in the midst of the night, and so it was then that the healer, whose heart was beating very quickly at that moment, raised her lantern and shone it all around her.

“Who is there?” she asked. The light danced all about the darkness, and when it settled upon a face, the bitter-hearted healer was rather surprised that this face was a considerably good-looking face.

She was even more surprised when she saw another face besides the first face that was equally attractive, and indeed perhaps even more so.

“Ah,” said the owner of the first face, who looked to the bitter-hearted healer to be a young woman with eyes that sparkled like bright red rubies.“So it is you who are making this horrible, ghastly stench all throughout these lands.”

Of course, it is even more disconcerting to hear a beautiful stranger in the woods describe you as smelling atrocious, and so perhaps it is not unusual that the bitter-hearted healer felt her bitterness grow and grow within her, puffing out and expanding much like her medicinal breads did in the ovens back in her home.

She said, “Well, now, how terribly rude! I will have you know that I have traveled quite a long way!Even the bath that I have been offered in this kingdom has not treated me well, it seems!”

The owner of the second beautiful face, who seemed to the bitter-hearted healer to be an older woman with great red lips that were a deeper color than even the setting sun, shook her head at the healer, her long, dark hair brushing against her shoulders and elaborate flowered kimono.

“You misunderstand, Miss,” said this second beauty.“No amount of sweet soaps or fragrances or wondrous baths could save you from this disgusting stench that falls off you much as snow falls from the sky.”

The second beauty lifted her chin up very high.“This reek feels even more endless than snow, too,” she said.

This, too, made the bitter-hearted healer even more bitter hearted than she had been before.

The two beauties coughed before the healer could even begin to speak.

“You are making it worse!” said the first woman. “It is no good to upset a human who already smells so terrible.”

These words were the first that the bitter-hearted woman could perhaps smile at. She said, “Come now, are you traveling storytellers looking for refuge by the palace? It is quite funny of you to try to include even your audience as part of your story, but I must confess that I do not have a single coin upon my person at this moment.”

The bitter-hearted healer laughed, and the sound was surely as horrible a sound as her heart was a horrible heart and her stench was a horrible stench. “I must say, though,” said the bitter-hearted healer, “that it is not quite an appealing act to begin by insulting your audience and then continue by calling them 'human' as though you are not humans yourselves!”

These words made the two demons laugh quite heartily indeed, gera, gera, ha, ha. They laughed much more heartily than the woman, and they laughed much more genuinely, and when they had finished this laughter and wiped the tears from their eyes, the younger beauty smiled in a way that the bitter-hearted healer did not find so attractive.

Indeed, she found the grin quite terrifying.

Because, you see, the bitter-hearted healer saw that this beauty had teeth that were perhaps not quite so beautiful. There were long fangs, sharp, and it seemed very much to the healer that she was looking straight at the smiling jaws of a great monster.

“As though we are not humans ourselves!” repeated the once-beauty. The strange creature laughed once more, looking less and less beautiful to the bitter-hearted healer with every second. Its form seemed to distort and mutate before the bitter-hearted healer, and the sight was to the woman very hideous and unsightly, but somehow, you see, she could not look away.

And so it was that the bitter-hearted healer watched with wide eyes as rosy skin changed to a slick blue, shiny, dark hair became as long and wild and white as snowflakes in a great storm, and the once-beauty seemed to grow several feet, towering over the bitter-hearted healer with eyes that the healer then realized to be the shining eyes of a demon.

She also realized that they were the shining eyes of a very hungry demon.

The bitter-hearted healer, in her immense fear, toppled to the ground with a great gasp, haa, haa, wheeze, pant. Her lantern shattered, and the flames jumped out, lighting the leaves scattered upon the forest floor on fire and threatening to burn the trees as well.

Here the demons’ laughter was quite diminished.

“Look what you have made the foolish human do with your silly sideshow display,” said the older beauty. She had shifted her form as well, now bearing the appearance of a massive, red-haired blue demon clad in tiger skins, with three great horns upon her head.

She stomped out the fires with her feet, zushin, zushin, thud, thud, and the younger demon only helped with what the bitter-hearted healer would have considered reluctance, if she had the mind to think clearly. Soon enough only a small bit of flames remained, and this the younger demon held in her hands as though it was a small, fluttering little heart.

“It must be strange to you to see that flames do not burn us,” said the demon, perhaps not knowing—or perhaps knowing very, very well—that the bitter-hearted healer could think nothing on how a demon would not be burned by flames.

“As it would happen, silly, stinky human,” she explained, “demons are not affected by the cold or the heat like you flimsy creatures.”

The bitter-hearted healer could not quite take another moment of this torture. Her heart was nearly threatening to jump out of her chest, beating so very quickly, baku, baku, thump, thump, because, you see, though the healer had often come face to face with death in her practice, she had never given very much thought to the idea that she could truly, actually be the one facing death one day!

She pressed her head against the singed, cold ground with her hands in front of her and said, “Oh, please, demons, please, please spare me! Once you understand my sad tale, you cannot possibly wish to eat me!”

Of course, the bitter-hearted healer did not understand the tale of the demons themselves (and this she would never understand, much as the man in the cave would never understand the love between demons and humans, but, ah, that is a story for quite another time). The bitter-hearted healer did not understand that the demons she had encountered that fateful night were demons from a smaller settlement, and she did not know that this settlement had grown very tired of hunting humans and so had pledged, with great sincerity and passion, to refrain from ever tasting the sweet flavors of human flesh and blood ever again.

It is easy to say that the bitter-hearted healer could not have understood this tale, and it would be correct to say so, because no human in all the Kingdom of the Reed Plains at the time could say that they knew of the demons within their own lands who had sworn off eating them forever. But the bitter-hearted healer would also not have understood this tale should she have ever been told it, because, you see, to the bitter-hearted healer, a demon was a demon, and demons ate people, and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

However, the bitter-hearted healer did think very much that she could avoid being the human the demons chose to eat, if she were only clever enough.

And so the woman pushed her face even farther into the dirt (which she didn’t quite think possible), and she said, “You would understand my tale, too!”  The woman’s voice absolutely dripped with desperation, and there was enough that the demons could scoop it up with their hands and drink and be filled. “You are very beautiful demons,” the woman cried, “and my sad tale could only be understood by those who understand the gift of great beauty, and I know very well that you understand this gift!”

Now, the demons had no desire to eat the woman or even drink her blood on account of their pledge, and truth be told, they would have no desire to eat the woman or even drink her blood had they not been bound by such a pledge. There was such a terrible, ghastly stench coming off the woman and her cold, frozen heart, and the demons were quite sure that, should they even attempt to eat her, she would taste as terrible and ghastly as she smelled.

The bitter-hearted woman could also not have known that the younger demon entertained the thought of wiping her tongue off on the bark of trees after tasting someone as disgusting as the woman who sat crouched before her, and indeed, she would not have even considered such a thing. To the bitter-hearted woman, all that mattered was her beauty, and as her thinking went, beautiful creatures must also taste quite delicious, and so she must have seemed quite the delectable treat to the two demons before her.

As the bitter-hearted woman saw her situation, she would have to try her very, very hardest to not be eaten.

The demons played along with the woman. “A tale, you say?” asked the older demon woman. “Perhaps you are the one who should be the traveling storyteller?”

In all her fear, the bitter-hearted woman thought herself at least wise enough to agree with a demon when asked such a question. “Perhaps, perhaps!” she agreed, though deep inside she could not imagine being in such a lowly, silly, worthless profession as a traveling storyteller.

The demons tried very hard to refrain from gagging at how the woman’s stench became much more terrible with her lie. They continued to play the woman’s game.

“We shall see how skilled you are,” the younger demon woman said. She still held the flames in her hands, coaxing the fire as though it were a small animal.

“Yes, yes, you shall see!” cried the bitter-hearted healer, and she then told her story in the best manner she could muster. She spoke of how the beautiful empress did not deserve her beauty and did not appreciate it, and she spoke of how all the empress deserved was a hideous child, and she said that she had half-considered running away from this horrible place and starting a brand-new life because she quite abhors ungratefulness, you see, and the beautiful empress is surely the definition of ungrateful!

The bitter-hearted healer could not have known how the demons reacted to her story. She could not have understood how the two looked at each other with great plans and ideas blooming in their minds, and she could not understand the language that they spoke to one another in quiet tones, because to the bitter-hearted healer, you see, the language of the demons sounded much the same as the go-o, go-o of the wind.

And so after the bitter-hearted healer had spoken all she had to say, she stared a great, long while at the two incredible creatures before her, knowing all too well in her frozen heart that there was nothing else she could do.

But it was such a long, painful time that the demons spoke to one another, and as you might imagine from a woman who believed very sincerely that she was at death’s door, the bitter-hearted woman became quite consumed by fear. Though there was a great bitterness inside her that would not go away, there came too to be a great terror.

How horrible and unfair is everything! the woman could not help but think, tainting her scent ever more as her heart grew ever colder. Here she had not only come to the ungrateful empress’s kingdom to do her a great deed, but on her first night in the supposedly beautiful empress’s lands, she is held hostage by demons and sentenced to death! Her great kindness to come to the empress’s aid had only resulted in her very downfall!

And so the bitter-hearted woman fumed quite thoroughly to herself, and her bitterness grew and grew, and the demons spoke more and more quickly because, you see, they were not so certain how much longer they could stand being so close to such a cold-hearted, cruel woman.

It was only once the bitter-hearted healer became very convinced that she was going to be eaten on the spot that the older demon woman said, with a hesitance that the woman did not recognize as hesitance, “You have told quite an amazing story indeed.”

The bitter-hearted woman thought immediately upon hearing these words that the demon was genuine in saying them, and she would have been correct, to an extent, because the demon woman did find her tale amazing, in a sense.

The younger demon woman said, “We like your story very much, and we would like to help you! It is true; a cruel fate has come upon you, and it is not fair that you have been sent away to this kingdom! To think that you have been sent all this way to help such an empress as the human empress that reigns in the Kingdom of the Reed Plains! It is disgusting! Despicable!”

At these words, the bitter-hearted healer could have broken out into tears, and it is only the older demon’s next words that keep her from doing just that.

“If you would come with us, just a ways, we can make it so your dreams can come true,” she said.

The bitter-hearted healer felt the great relief that had only just filled her dissipate away, tainted. Her fear came back, and this fear was a terror so great that it felt to the bitter-hearted healer to be almost as tangible as the rain that began to fall upon her at that moment, zabun, zabun, plop, plop. With dread and anxiety building deep within her, the bitter-hearted woman considered many possibilities for what the demons planned to do now.

They were discussing which of my body parts they are going to eat, she thought to herself. They are going to take me back with them to their home, and they are going to enjoy me while they drink away all the water in the river that they must live by, because of course demons must live by a river! I am going to die here, and these demons must consider me quite foolish, to think that their compliments and kind words are enough to tempt me straight into the jaws of death!

The bitter-hearted woman grew more and more bitter, but she smiled very kindly at the demons, the way she had become so accustomed to from her practice, and she knew that even in the rain, she looked very beautiful when she smiled.

“I will go with you,” she said, and she got to her feet, and the demons smiled back at her, though even the bitter-hearted woman could sense that these smiles were not fully kind.

And so the bitter-hearted healer went with the demons because there was surely nothing else she could do, and she thought to herself that when they stopped and tried to devour her whole, she could perhaps kick their teeth, or perhaps they were thinking of saving her for another day, in which case she could steal their shoes and surely run a thousand ri in just a moment.

On and on the bitter-hearted healer’s thought went in this way, and she was so very preoccupied with her illusions that she did not notice at first that the demons had stopped. The bitter-hearted woman had only the little flickering light of the demon’s fire (that had somehow not been extinguished in the rain) to use to see in the darkness, but it seemed to her that they had stopped before what the healer recognized to be an herb garden much like the one she had back in her own backwater hometown.

“It is exactly what you believe it to be,” said the younger demon. The older demon then proceeded to pick from the garden something that the healer could not recognize, even with her great skill and beauty at her craft.

The bitter-hearted woman wondered briefly if whatever it is that the demon had picked would be used to make her tastier, or perhaps it was poison, and the demons truly had been moved by her tale and wished for her to have a peaceful demise rather than be swallowed whole.

It took everything the bitter-hearted woman had to not shudder terribly at this thought.

But the older demon explained, very matter-of-fact, what it was in her hands. “We do not grow the same herbs as you humans do,” she said. “Demons are much stronger than humans, with hearts that are much lighter, and we are far more advanced in our medicines.”

The bitter-rated healer did not believe this in the slightest, but she smiled her very politest smile. “I would very much like to learn more about your herbs,” she said, though she wished to say, I want absolutely nothing to do with your cursed medicines because they would be sure to poison me and all my patients!

“Unfortunately for you, I cannot share the demons’ secrets with a human,” said the older demon. “But I can provide you with this herb, to present to the empress.”

This the bitter-hearted healer found very surprising indeed.

“An herb to present to the empress?” she repeated, a strange sensation of excitement filling her no matter the fact that she was surely just seconds away from being tricked into her own demise by demons.

“Yes,” said the younger demon. “If you present this herb to the empress, her child will be born very, very healthy, because we demons have healing magic, you know, and we have the power to cure nearly any ailment known in the world just using our own power. You must imagine that our medicines are capable of much, much more.”

The bitter-hearted healer felt her excitement wane. Her polite smile fell to nastiness, and this she did not even make the slightest attempt to hide. “Why in the world would I want to give the empress exactly what she wants?” she asked. It seemed so very horrible, and she considered herself such a very sad creature, to be in a position where even the demons sided with a disgraceful, ungrateful empress over her! Was she not beautiful enough to be given whatever it is she wanted? She, who so respected and was so very grateful for the gift of beauty that she had received from the gods?

And though the bitter-hearted woman did not take any note of it, the older demon would think that perhaps she was too harsh with her next words, but she could not help it, you see, because it is a demon’s curse to be extraordinarily honest, even if humans could not comprehend nor understand this honesty.

She said, “We would hope that even the most wicked of humans would not wish for a child to be born so sickly that they perish shortly after birth,” but then she shook her head and said to the bitter-hearted empress, who smelled even more terrible at this point and seemed very much to be fuming, “But we would like to make your dream come true, healer from a faraway kingdom.”

The bitter-hearted healer crossed her arms and surveyed the demons quite thoroughly now. “Are you saying?” she started, and she could not quite finish, even if that was quite unbecoming of a beautiful lady.

“Yes,” said the younger demon. Her face was lit up by the flame that still danced in her palm. “If you give this herb to the empress, her child will be born uglier than any human and far uglier than any demon.”

A great, horrible smile came upon the bitter-hearted healer’s face at this revelation. She very gladly took the herb from the older demon, and she even more gladly presented this herb to the beautiful empress when she returned to the palace to a very relieved guard and when it came to be her turn to come before the terrible empress who had brought such pain and misfortune upon her life.

“Take this,” the bitter-hearted healer said very confidently to the empress, smiling her very politest smile that she had grown much accustomed to smiling from her practice. “Place it in your tea, and be sure that the tea is very warm, and your child will be born very healthy and very lovely.”

The bitter-hearted healer, you see, was not like the honest demons. She very much relished her lie, and her very politest smile would have seemed distinctly not polite, had anyone looked closely enough.

But no one looked closely enough, because the bitter-hearted healer was simply a small healer from a faraway kingdom, and though she was a great beauty, no one could be bothered to look her way, not when in the same room as the most beautiful empress in all the world.

However, perhaps the woman’s heart was not as cold as the demons had seen it, because even this bitter-hearted healer felt within her a sting of remorse as she stood before the empress. In the woman’s mind, you see, the empress was surely not as beautiful as she was made out to be, but this silly empress held herself up as though she was the most beautiful creature on all of the Earth! The bitter-hearted healer almost felt sorry for the poor creature, left thinking that she is so amazingly lovely when she is so clearly not.

And yet, as it may be expected from a tale such as this one, the bitter-hearted healer’s small bit of remorse was not enough for her to treat the empress properly, as she would one of her own patients back in her hometown that the woman found herself missing in increasing amounts, and so she kept her smiling as the empress thanked her for her work.

The bitter-hearted healer, of course, did not know that it was not the demons who had made it so the medicine would cause the princess of the Kingdom of the Reed Plains to be born horrifically ugly. She could not know, and she could not understand, because she did not realize her own bitter-heartedness and would never understand it, not for as long as she lived (and this, you see, was not a very much time longer).

“Humans with hearts as cold as this woman,” the old demon had said to the younger demon, back when they had first heard the healer’s sobbed tale, in a language that the bitter-hearted healer did not understand and could not understand, “are capable of tainting even the strongest medicine with evil, but it is they who suffer the most from their bitterness. A human heart is not meant to be cold. Humans are not designed for the cold as we demons are, and a frozen heart can only beat for so long before it wears itself away with its darkness.”

And so, perhaps it was not odd that the bitter-hearted healer did not live to see the day that her tainted medicine had done its work, and the empress’s daughter was indeed born as hideous as a snake. The healer was a miracle doctor from the heavens and a healer who could heal all, it seemed, except herself. The bitter-hearted woman’s coldness made her incurably ill upon returning to her kingdom, and the people sighed for a moment at her passing.

“She was quite a beauty,” the people said, because it was quite sad to lose someone who looked so lovely, just as it is quite sad to lose a lovely flower to an unseasonal bout of cold weather. “It is a shame to lose her and no longer see such a lovely face.”

But as all beauty eventually fades one day, so did the memory of the healer, who, you must understand, was not truly especially skilled at her craft, and indeed, had relied heavily on the skills of her not-so-pretty assistants whose stories the world did remember far beyond their time.

And so the bitter-hearted healer’s tale was forgotten, and when the time comes that a man in a cave tells this story of the beautiful empress’s ugly daughter to the Crown Princess Satsuki, not a soul remains who remembers the bitter-hearted healer at all.

[rylie-studies]

Everything You Ever Need To Know About SKAM

Hey guys! Today we’re gonna learn about one of my all-time favorite series ever called SKAM and it’s such a great resource especially for those who are learning languages. SKAM is a Norwegian teen drama web series about the daily life of teenagers in a high school and each season focuses on particular topics such as relationship difficulties, identity, eating disorders, sexual assault, homosexuality, mental health issues, religion, and forbidden love. As of the moment, it has been remade by several other countries in Europe and the United States which showcases each of their distinctive cultures. Not only is it a wonderful way to enhance your language learning, but you can also learn about each country’s culture! 

SKAM (Original) 

Watch it right here (with English subtitles!)

First season: deals with Eva’s difficult relationship with her boyfriend Jonas and the themes of loneliness, identity, belonging, and friendship.

Second season: deals with Noora’s relationship with William and issues of friendship, feminism, eating disorder, self-image, violence, sexual violence, and the contemporaneous refugee crisis in the Norwegian democracy. 

Third season: deals with Isak’s growing relationship with Even and is essentially a coming out story dealing with issues of love, sexual identity, authenticity, mental illness, religion, and friendship. 

Fourth season: follows Sana’s life and deals with the Islamic religion, forbidden love, cyberbullying, friendship, and the Norwegian russ celebratory period. 

Finale episode: deals with parental depression, love rejection, jealousy, friendship, mutual relationship support, and fear of abandonment.

My personal thoughts: Watch this one before all of the other remakes! It’s the original and it can help you understand the other remakes so much better + #evak is LIFE. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!

P.S. Chris and Eva deserved better. 

SKAM France

Watch it right here (already w/ English subs!)

Seasons: the storyline of each season are similar to the original one with some differences depending on how they highlight their culture. There are currently three seasons in the moment with the recent season focusing on Lukas’ struggle to embrace his true identity.

My personal thoughts: In the beginning, I didn’t think this one was unique and I felt like it followed too much from the original one but I’ve heard lots of great things about Season 3 (aka my favorite season from the original) and I was really excited for this season so I definitely recommend it! Tbh, this was actually the first of the series that I watched (I watched the original one second bcs I was unaware) bcs I’ve been learning French in school and honestly, this was incredibly helpful and now I know so much more about the culture!

Fun fact: The main actors in Season 2 (Marilyn Lima and Michel Biel) are actually a couple in real life! 

SKAM Germany (aka Druck)

Watch it right here (w/ English subs!)

Seasons: like SKAM France, each season follows the original storyline with some differences following their culture. There are currently three seasons in the moment. 

My personal thoughts: I’ve only watched the first one or two episodes for this and I think I forgot to continue to bcs I was watching other remakes as well, but I definitely recommend this one especially for those who are learning the German language! 

SKAM Italia 

Watch it right here (w/ English subs!)

Seasons: like the previous remakes, this one follows the original storyline but with differences regarding their respective culture. There are currently three seasons out in the moment. 

My personal thoughts: I love this one a whole lot! Tbh I’ve only watched like the first four episodes but that’s bcs I’m a procrastinator and I do a variety of things at once which is, uh, unhealthy af. However, this is a really good remake and I love the Italian culture so much! Also, I have a lowkey crush on Eleonora bcs she’s so powerful and independent and we stan a QUEEN. 

SKAM Austin (United States) 

Watch it right here 

Seasons: This one is actually hella different from all the other remakes. Not only does it deviate from the structure of each remakes, but the storyline is kind of different tbh. The third season might actually be about lesbians other than the conventional “season of the gays.” It’s crazy! It’s revolutionary! It’s SKAM Austin! Currently, there are two seasons out and they’re compiled into a full episode every week. 

My personal thoughts: I’m not finished with season one yet but I actually enjoyed this a whole lot. I love how unique it is from the other SKAM remakes and the characters are actually super relatable mostly because they’re actual teenagers in school and maybe it’s just because I live in the United States so I’m familiar with the education system and I think it’s just fascinating to watch it and understand the struggles of the characters. This is a total must-watch! 

SKAM España (Spain) 

Watch it right here (w/ English subs)

Seasons: The format is similar to the other European remakes with differences in showcasing the Spanish culture. Currently, there is only one season out but the next season is coming out March 31, 2019. 

My personal thoughts: I haven’t watched this one yet, but I’m really determined to learn Spanish bcs I’m quite in love with the Spanish culture and I really want to travel to Spain one day and I think this would be a lovely way to learn! Watch this with me, loves! 

SKAM NL (The Netherlands)

Watch it right here (w/ English subs)

Seasons: The format is similar to the other remakes with differences highlighting the Dutch culture. Currently, there’s only one season but the next season is coming out on March 18, 2019 and, depending on when I post this, that day might be today or tomorrow! 

My personal thoughts: I LOVE the Dutch culture! I’ve been super excited about this since last year when I heard they were going to make a remake in The Netherlands and I’ve watched halfway through season one and I have loved it with all my heart. I want to learn Dutch someday and, oh gosh, I just love SKAM NL so much. You guys have no idea. 

Fun fact: I LOVE SKAM THE NETHERLANDS. 

wtFOCK (Belgium/Flemish) 

Watch it right here (w/ English subs)

Seasons: The format is similar to the other remakes with differences highlighting the Belgian/Flemish culture. Currently, there’s only one season out but they’re planning on releasing the next season this year. 

My personal thoughts: I’ve actually never heard of this one but it sounds really interesting so I think I’m definitely gonna check it out one day! If you guys have watched this one or planning to, please tell me how it is! 

Rumored SKAM remakes: 

SKAM The Balkans

SKAM Russia

SKAM India

SKAM Japan

SKAM Brazil

SKAM Colombia

And we have reached the end, my loves! SKAM is a truly incredible series and I will forever be grateful about (accidentally) discovering it. Also, the characters in the series usually make a social media account where they post pictures of each other and interact with the other characters as well as you, the audience. I’m honestly so in love with SKAM and, once again, it’s one of my favorite series EVER (Netflix when will you get your head in the game homie) and I really recommend it for anyone whether you’re learning a language, a culture, or just want to watch a series where you can learn about a variety of topics. If anyone has any questions regarding this series or want to add in something, feel free to do so! 

[elastigirl72]

Potentially a Greek Odyssey...Crossing a continent...there are no rules

(Disclaimer: this whole blog is written on an iPhone)

I wonder if...

Any ancient explorer spent as much time as I have procrastinating about which way they’d travel to cross a continent, where they’d start, where they’d cross waters, which mountain range they should scale and where should be their final destination, how little they could get away with carrying and when was the best time to go and if they should drive to Heathrow and park or figure out the logistics to be able to cycle the whole way.

I could write a book about the dreaming and planning alone, and Ben Fogle wouldn’t have a patch on my stories, never mind the oceans and deserts he’s crossed.  If I’m honest, he does have the job I’d now wish I’d had.  Why has it taken me until I’m approaching the half-century (there are still a few years to go, just in case you thought I was looking REALLY good for my age, yes, I can hear that’s what you were thinking) to finally realise that is what I was destined to do.  But now, where media favours youth and beauty, I wasn’t blessed with much of the latter and youth is a long way behind me.  Accepting my fate, I will continue doing my job, dream about being (with) Ben Fogle, and aspire to challenge Judith Chalmers in my 70s.

If I consider my expedition, I have dreamed about it since I can remember looking at the illuminated globe and dark green, leather bound giant world atlas that adorned a dust-ridden, tar-stained shelf in our family home in Windsor.  I have planned it in detail over 5 years and in countless iterations, and aborted 2 years running.  And now, today, 10 days before I’m due to set off in some direction, it truly appears it might happen. The odds are even, but 10 days is 10 days.  Nothing is certain.

Anyone who truly knows me will question my fitness, I’m sure.  Can I really do this?  Until this weekend, like last year’s abandoned plans to ride from East to West cost USA, I considered that I would again be “winging it”, hoping that the good genes I’ve inherited, and my clear stubbornness will see me through.  My knee remains attached to me by a few stringy threads.  I have worked out that any stray pieces of cartlidge that pop up from the one-time smooth head of my femur aren’t an enemy to stop me anymore.  Like a splinter on a block of wood, provided the kneecap can plane the surface continuously, the pain and swelling will come and go as the surface is smoothed down again.  Grit my teeth and keep moving until I can’t move anymore.  It is a bit bonkers. But as there’s plenty of things that can stop you doing anything, multiplying as I get older. So, whilst I still can, I still will. It’s not a race, and I will make it to Athens. Which is the second flight I’ve booked for the same trip! The goal is to get to the finish line. Other than that, the rules are there are no rules.

April 13: 5 days to go: preamble to the ramble

The name to my expedition came to me this morning. It is the Transcontinental Odyssey and camera course. I am surrounded by photographers in my family. Dad a.k.a. Norm, was a photographer in his day and very talented. My brother-in-law was a professional photographer and till smart phones were invented. By association, my sister Jane is also a photographer. It is quite surprising that I know absolutely nothing about technicalities of photography! Aperture ISO and shutter speed could be part of an engine for all I know. Luckily, I have amazing neighbours who are also photographers. Almost correct: Jane, my neighbour is the long-suffering wife of a photographer and by association to Andrew who is a photographer. Given that all the Janes and Andrews that I know who are married contain at least one photographer, I stand a good chance also by association of being able to take good photographs. This is what I’m telling myself and the reason I’m prepared prepared to consider my new camera as my luxury item. At 300 g, it is my heaviest piece of kit that I will be carrying for over 2000 miles. There is a good incentive for me to make it count! Probably the reason that most people remain amateur photographers and now rely on smartphones is because the lessons on Aperture and shutter speed are very dry to say the least. My first lesson with Andrew on Friday night after work was helped along by two gin and tonic��s made by Jane she doesn’t drink to make measures were approximately two thirds gin and one third tonic. This is known in photography circles as the rule of thirds. As I’m writing this post, I can tell you that my bod no longer responds to gin particularly well. That said,I had a very enjoyable evening learning about photography.

Marlborough, UK

How many times did I pack and weigh my kit? I sat looking at it for weeks on the kitchen table, packed it, took it out, weighed it again, removed some grams and packed it again. With the experience of a similar trip (albeit 1,300 miles shorter and with a week of planning), this time, I couldn’t have been more prepared. With greatest regret, the following were culled:

Trainers (sacrificed for flip flops)

Belt (improvising with heart rate monitor as my belt. Genius 😆)

Wood lock (a magical Chinese ointment which has legally restored my overused muscles for 17 years)

Playing cards (oh well, I’m sure there’s some app that can replace those)

Class (I have resorted to convertible walking trousers, a t-shirt, a merino base layer and my cycling jacket for my casual evening attire)

My bikini 😢

Butt butter (as I like to call it - one last dose of chamois cream before I left and then utter sadness and regret)

But making the cut:

Puncture repair kit

Glasses and lenses

A handful of toiletries

My luxury item: a camera (the only thing heavier is my backpack)

6 supplements (magnesium, iron, maca, beta-alennine, zinc, L-carnitine)

Small first aid kit

A million usb cables

A million plug converters (don’t you love that each country has designed non-compatible plugs to their neighbours?)

Di2 charger (outrageous that I should need this but apparently the battery lasts only 1500 miles)

A lock

Overshoes, leg warmers, rain jacket, wet weather gloves, mitts (I have an optimistic plan to post these home in Italy and buy a bikini 🙏)

Passport, cards and cash (although I ditched the coins weighing in at a whopping 178g!)

2pairs of knickers

A bra (underwear is a luxury)

An erroneous crop top.

In all, my extra weight amounts to 4kg against my weight of 58kg. I thought I was heavier, and so I set off delighted that mentally, my net gained weight was 2kg (on the basis I thought I was 60kg).

These weight insights are invaluable. So, how is it that on my first day, not flat but hardly mountainous, and into a headwind, I have already started to create a package to send home. I practised carrying my life on my back on a ride to st David’s only 10 days ago and yet somehow, the backpack, aka Monkey has gained weight whilst I’ve lost. The Welsh guy deep in the Black Mountains where I recharged my phone were mightily impressed at my trans Wales trip that day. They’re a friendly bunch. Super chatty when they know you’re leaving, sending me off with a parting statement : “Look out for the green pick up truck about 10 miles up the road, that will be me as I mow you off the road into the bushes! [to which he then laughed to himself a lot]. “That’s where you’ll be staying for the night!” The interesting observation I picked up from this rowdy, bald, heavily tattooed Welshman is his sense of humour. So unique to Wales...

And so to bed. I have made my presence known in Marlborough. If you’re old enough to remember, picture this: Wayne Slob getting chicken and chips from the fish and chip shop. Yep. That’s me. That’s who I’ve become . I’m staying in the Bear Hotel which whilst a lovely room, is more expensive than my flight home from Kalamata that I won’t be taking. And whilst I wasn’t remotely hungry tonight, I have had to remind myself “eat for the ride you’re going to have, not for the one you’ve just had”