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guynamedultimax · 3 years ago

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Obligatory Friday Night Funkin’ fighting game AU post (part 2 of idk how many)

Even though I’m a lazy fuck I know there’s people out there who wanna read this so let’s just get it over with

-AGOTI: Trapped in the Void like in his own mod’s continuity, has tentacle-based powers that allow him to raise pillars from underneath the ground like he did in the Void. Usually freestyles and is pretty damn good at it. Chaotic neutral, hangs out with Tabi and Ayana when not busy.

-Aldryx: AGOTI’s older brother, they’re mostly the same but he is more composed and responsible...even if you can barely notice it. Has been scouting for AGOTI ever since he disappeared in the Void under the “orders” of Solazar. They have the same powers, but Aldryx prefers a more aggressive rock beat in comparison to his brother’s freestyling.

-Solazar: Solazar is a unique type of fighter, a Composer. They’re exceptionally well-versed in most types of music and have their own unique fighting style that can’t be easily imitated. Most of the times Composers are figures of great wisdom and/or power. DD is also secretly a Composer but rarely uses all of his powers. Sol is to this day one of the few other people who is actively fighting off DD’s rise to power and is trying to push his adopted screen demon sons to cooperate with GF and BF’s efforts to stop DD (despite the fact that one of them is friends with Tabi, who still has beef with GF).

-Nikusa: Not doing anything for her until her part of the FNF Entity mod drops but she exists in this universe.

-Tabi: Before Funkin Fightin’ was a thing, GF was in love with Tabi but nonetheless used him to try and conquer her father’s empire. When he turned music into a form of fighting, Tabi didn’t know how to hurt a fly, and so GF ditched him to DD, who turned him into what he is today. He is now out to personally get GF, DD and anyone who might get in his way for revenge. Uses a fight style similiar to BF’s but isn’t afraid to play dirty against someone who he feels has wronged him. After the restaurant incident he’s a tournament member who is wanted by the authority.

-Ayana: Before Pico, BF dated her, and while she still clearly loves him, it’s clear for her that he moved on. Still, she knows GF’s up to no good and is repeatedly trying to warn BF about it. She and Dalia have Tabi hidden in their house. Has a fighting style similiar to that of Mommy Mearest, although unlike her she actually fights fair and doesn’t try to seduce her opponents.

-Dalia: EDM has been less and less mainstream as time went on, but Dalia still isn’t afraid of spewing out good tracks. EDM artists are known for being glass cannons in the Funkin Fightin’ business, and she’s no exception, she’s the second strongest EDM artist on the block. Is in a relationship with Ayana. She is also prone to stopping her sets to help her friends back at Apollo against demons.

-Miku: In-universe she’s BF’s older sister, and due to her working specifically in the Vocaloid industry, GF’s parents can’t lay a single hand on her. More often than not she insists on protecting her brother as if he was still little. Has Camellia as musical backup during her Funkin Fightin’ fights due to her being mostly a martial pacifist.

-Sarvente: Nuns shouldn’t fight, am I right? Sarvente is one of the few people who is in DD’s tournament to promote her church. Still she knows in the moment she’s going to go full power she’s going to scare away literally everyone in the arenas. Has been costantly receiving funds by a mysterious sponsor alongside Ruv.

-Ruv: As a former hitman, he knows exactly how to fight. He just needs to learn to do it to the rhythm of the typical Russian ballads he listens to in his free time. Has refused to fight Sarvente even in her demon form. Is also in the tournament for the church, but also to avoid other hitmen sent to kill him for his retirement. Also has been receving funds by a sponsor.

-Selever: The mysterious sponsor. Has found a way to enter this universe (and is doing money with cryptocurrency), but if he interacts directly with Ruv or Sarv, or if he gets found and defeated by a being of higher power like Composers, Updike or Auditor, he’s sleeping with the fishes. Annoying as ever, half of the tournament opponents have beef with him due to him behaving like an annoying asshole. Also calls for Rasazy’s backup with some attacks and plays dirty like hell. His goal is to defeat DD so he can live with his parents in peace.

-Shaggy: In this continuity the entirety of Mystery Incorporated is alive and well and not dead of old age. Not even Shaggy knows how he has his powers, but he isn’t really complaining, as long as his friends are left in peace by the supernatural. Is fascinated by Funkin Fightin’ and is choosing a musical style on which to base his rhythm.

-Matt: Originally trained other people in various sports, but after his loss with BF he became obsessed with trying to defeat him in Funkin Fightin’. Trains under Shaggy to achieve this goal. Still, he has a code of honor and wants a fair fight by any opponent. Doesn’t have a specific musical style yet and is not willing to use Wii Sports music like one would expect from him.

-Zardy: Isn’t partecipating in the tournament and interacts with nobody. There is only one rule: don’t enter his maze for absolutely no reason. He’s going to wreck you with Halloween songs and by swinging around his farming tools. The only ones allowed in are Tricky, Monster and Starecrown for the Friday night poker game, where he is prone to winning at least against Tricky; Starecrown and Monster are just too 300 IQ for him to face head-on.

-Camellia: Remember when I said Dalia’s the second strongest EDM artist on the scene? Guess who’s first. His techniques as a Composer are known for breaking many body parts, so Masaya Oya only ever works as backup for BF’s sister Miku. But if you actually manage to bring him to a Funkin Fightin’ fight on his own you’ll regret it deeply. Dude is as strong as Shaggy and Matt COMBINED.

-Sky: BF’s number one fangirl and leader of his two-member fanclub, her beef is mainly with GF, but to beat her she has to go through BF first. Behaves a lot like Knives Chau from the Scott Pilgrim franchise. Writes fanfics. Has a very...weird fighting style, and does it to the beat of anime openings apparently.

-Starecrown: The, erm...OTHER member of BF’s fanclub. Is unironically best friends with Sky due to their shared interest in BF and usually carries her around as if he was her pet. Is very polite and tries not to come off as scary with his stares, but it’s beyond his power. Nobody ever even understands his fighting techniques, only the musical screeches he emits when he does it to the rhythm.

NEXT TIME: Hopefully everyone related to Bob, Undertale/Underverse characters, Eddsworld cast, CJ & Ruby, ENA, Nonsense, if possible even more

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obeymeluv · 4 years ago

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Could you do one with an MC who is rich and has two butlers and they happen to arrive out of nowhere, and they start to become clingy, and they call MC ✨Master✨? How would the brothers react? And could you also please do the reaction of the undateables to? Thank you and keep up the great work!❤️❤️

What an interesting concept :0

These will be short-ish since you want to include the Undateables, too. Also, bear with me. First time doing the Undateables. Luke is excluded because he is a baby.

Lucifer:

He didn’t remember this being in your selection packet. This is unacceptable.

Is very unnerved and aggravated because...why so clingy? Have some dignity!

Literally wrinkles his nose at them and scoffs

When they address you as “Master” in his presence he tries very hard not to throw something at them or make a demon noise.

Something about them addressing you like that seems like a smack in the face, like they’re flaunting their closeness and he’s just not here for it

If they get him the right way on the wrong day, he’s going to pull rank and be like ‘I was here with them BEFORE you got here and you’re in the Devildom. MY HOME. Know your place.’

Will play their game and force them to actually be a butler, dismissing them when he’s with you or requesting things. If they don’t look like they want to do it for them, he’d call them out on whether or not they’re really a butler with that shit-eating smirk on his face.

Mammon:

Is pretty excited. They’re basically his butlers now too, right?! He’s your best man so you share, right?!

If they shut him down, ignore him, or dismiss him, Mammon’s going to be super butthurt about it

Their whole clingy ‘Master’ bit is really not sitting right with him. It’s doing a number on his desire to be greedy and snap up all your time or attention

Is most likely to trick them, like sending an illusion of you down the hall just so they follow you. He’ll make off with the real you! Hey, it’s not his fault you have dumb human butlers, okay?

May just outright lie to them and convince them that they need to work odd jobs in the Devildom to support you (”Uh, yeah, no, they’re broke here. Human money doesn’t transfer, you know?”) because these simps would do it. You get more Grim and he gets you, it’s a win!

Levi

Weirded out but really interested. He’s not super close with Barbatos so this is a chance to find out exactly what being a butler entails. It’s kind of a mystery profession, he thinks

Is also convinced they may not be human butlers because he saw that in an anime once. This sends Levi on a small (constant) spying expedition to see if anything non-human happens

This may be where he realizes he has a sub kink because hearing them call you ‘Master’ makes him blush and feel some kind of way?!

The magic dies a bit when they’re dismissive and kind of protective, seeming to guard you from the bros

Gets jealous because they’re obviously close to you and that’s basically a pet name and why can’t HE have that?

They may or may not be scared by his demon form if/when he sulks around

Might trick them into playing an intense butler/serving VR game and trap them in it for a little bit. He feels like they’ve disturbed the peace of the house.

Satan

He sees their game and he’ll play it. If they’re your butlers--and good ones--they’ll cater to him, who is your company.

Lives for every moment he can catch them on a technicality and they have to include him on anything

Thinks it’s cute they call you master. If they get snippy with him, he’ll be happy to explain how that term originated with demons and it will take nothing short of their master to call him off of them

If he’s bored or just feeling some kind of way, he’ll ask them to help fetch books (at your behest, so they do it) and watch them struggle with ancient tomes that may have been enchanted to weigh a little more than normal.

Satan lowkey feels on edge because they feel like intruders in their home, in the space they’ve let you share. Does not want them here.

Asmo

Butlers?! How quaint and cute! Seems like a scene from a book! Have you ever had a wild love affair?!

Charms them without using his powers. They somehow accept him. He appears to be tolerated more than the rest of his brothers, though he undoubtedly plays second fiddle to you. He understands.

Thoroughly enjoys pissing off his brothers via the butlers, toasting with little glasses of drink while the two of you have a private party. Oh, it’s so fun!

Will poke fun at how much they use ‘Master’. “Some people really enjoy that, you know? Is it projection or just your thing?” (It gets on his nerves because, yes, it can be overused.)

It’s a nice peek into something he doesn’t have in his life but it does lose its charm eventually. He’d much prefer the House of Lamentation go back to the way it was.

Will probably charm them right back to the human world. No need for butlers here, you have seven demons!

Beel

Almost eats one of them because he thinks random humans just showed up in the house.

He honestly thought it was some reverse summoning gone wrong and they’d be totally free game to eat. They might have bad intentions, you know?

Once he realizes they’re here for you, he apologizes but is wary.

Are they here to take you away? To check in on you? Why would they do that? You signed all kinds of paperwork stating you’d be safe in the Devildom and stuff!

Lucifer gets aggravated with them floating around and attaching to you (and lowkey trying to clean/rearrange the house) so he asks you to put them on cooking duty. You seem to want a break from them so you agree. Beel tries not to abuse this too much, but he’s glad to have extra bodies ready to cook!

Doesn’t really get the ‘Master’ thing but won’t say anything. Will idly go ask Satan if that’s a thing in the human world. He feels like it should’ve gone out of date a couple of centuries ago.

The one to ask, point blank, if you guys decide to date or get married do they then become his butlers?

Will leave alone if he’s left alone, but if they start to get hostile or sabotage his ability to hang out with you, he will think of a very passive/casual way to show his strength and why he shouldn’t be messed with.

Belphie

Almost attacked them too, but for a different reason. He’d been sleeping when they arrived and no one thought to update him. When he saw random people in the house, he thought someone may have broken in.

Cow man will defend his territory

Will definitely make fun of them when they call you ‘master’. (”Seems like something a lesser creature would do.”)

They may be here for you but they’ll learn his rules. Mainly: do not, under any circumstances, touch his cow pillow.

Couldn’t care less but if he thinks his family is being pushed away because of them, he and Satan may form a smaller ‘Butlers suck’ club and test out some new pranks for the ‘Lucifer sucks’ club.

Will doze in your lap just to hear you defend him and shoo them off. May slap one of them with his tail ‘in his sleep’.

Solomon

Butlers, hm? It wasn’t something he expected

Has no outward animosity for them. Lowkey charms them; he wants them to open up and let their guard down because he is extremely interested in body language. What are they really feeling and thinking?

May show them a few spells to break the ice

If he feels they’re stealing up your time and blocking him, he’ll play their cat and mouse game. He and Satan have a lot in common in that respect.

Secretly wonders if you can make them try his cooking. He doesn’t think it’s half bad!

May ask them for tips on cooking

If he’s bored and you both want to have a laugh, he may find a way to spike them both with truth serum and have a fun time

Secretly wants to have a real tea party-type date

Simeon

What an act of labor and love! How adorable!

He considers them to be the human version of guardian angels and he’s just so touched by it. He thinks its very cute

Dotes on them a bit, almost like they’re puppies instead of people

He is polite and literally angelic, but he is not a pushover. Should they deny him your presence out of spite or distrust, he will give them a mini-schooling (scolding) on politeness and how he prays for their heart

Probably wins them over by being his usual neutral kind of polite self

Doesn’t quite care for them calling you master and warns them of false idols and such

Diavolo

Is very amused. You also have butlers? What a small world!

Do butlers like to hang out with other butlers?

Basically tries to arrange a butler play date

Genuinely laughs when they try to prevent him from being with you in any capacity. (”They may be your master but I am a prince. Soon to be king. Please step aside.”)

He appreciates that they’re protective of you but there IS such a thing as overdoing it and he can excuse them from the Devildom any time he wishes.

Overall takes their presence with grace because you having butlers is like him having Barbatos. They’re just very young and stubborn. He understands. They’ll mellow out soon.

Barbatos

Finds the whole thing laughable, especially when they try to prevent HIM from seeing you

Boy has been a butler for THOUSANDS of years, he knows all the dismissal tricks!

Barbatos will idly wipe a gloved hand over something they’ve cleaned (comes from being head of cleaning staff for thousands of years) and in butler code that SMACKS of judgement and disrespect

He knows this and sometimes he does it on purpose

Barbatos is the very quiet, sly kind of petty

May send the butlers into a cleaning frenzy just because they THINK he’ll say something or they THINK he gave them the side eye

Those humans may work themselves sore and oh, what’s this? You’re suddenly free and unattended? Well, he can’t have that, can he?

Probably saw this happening in one reality or another, so he takes it like a champ. There’s just that nasty bite of pride that refuses to let him be out-butlered.

Hope you liked it, Nonnie!

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jeanjauthor · 1 year ago

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Dude, if you have tomatoes in the bodega, they come with their own seeds.

Also: Picture those shoppers and sidewalk...er...walkers. Suddenly in a medieval environment. Desperately wanting modern housing, rather than rat-infested medieval stuff. A computer programmer who was at the bodega to pick up some chips figures out how to code with magic, talking with a plumber who was living in the area, they figure out how to use magic to re-plumb the building so hey, people have running water again--magic for the electricity, they have power!

It all starts when the plumber, in the bodega to pet his favorite neighborhood cat, helps the coder--who has no home, having been visiting from two blocks over because only that bodega carried his favorite brand of imported crisps--to find a place to stay with Old Man Pczensky on the 10th floor, in exchange for getting the young coder to carry Pczensky’s belongings up and down all 10 flights. And that’s when the coder is like, “Okay, I gotta figure out how to code magic, cause I’m grateful for the spare bedroom, but seriously, EFF this stair-climbing shht!”

The yoga instructor whose boyfriend has been Out Of Work For Months gets upset with him and threatens to kick him out of her 3rd floor apartment completely if he Doesn’t Get A Job IMMEDIATELY, and the guy finds out that he has a talent for finding literal magical herbs, and not just “magic weed”, so he starts apprenticing with the village’s alchemist / apothecarist.

Meanwhile the yoga gal gets work at the local adventurer’s guild chapter teaching flexibility and de-stressing and balance-improving skills to passing adventurers...and accidentally activates her chakras with actual magic...which the coder notices and starts asking her to help him with his experiments in figuring out how magical coding works. The BF gets a bit jealous, but it gets cleared up when the coder reveals he’s ace, not interested in the GF at all in That Way, and instead starts interrogating the BF about alchemical magic.

Meanwhile, the Nonna on the 7th floor has figured out knitting and crocheting magic (nobody even in this world knows how she did that), and is busy using said magic to create “power rune circles” out of her doilies. Why? Because she realized her cellphone charged when she placed it atop one of her doily table covers, so now she’s working her needles and hooks like mad to make her electricity run, so people start smelling Home-Baked Goods and are being driven nuts because their electricity isn’t working yet.

And then the coder and the yoga instructor and the Nonna get together and figure out how to design and knit-program a set of power generators that can convert sunlight > mana / magic > electricity...and suddenly the formerly quiet, firelight-and-candle lit village has this GLOWING TOWER next to it at night.

Oh, and the name of the apartment building? Portal Tower (named after George Portal, the original building owner).

Everone in the village is convinced they’re a bunch of weird mages with weird special spellpowers that just...lost some of their spells for a while, but are slowly getting it back (as they get their electricity back). And while some of the villagers are worried that these are all Secretly Evil Demonic Invader Beings...the rest are increasingly convinced these are Odd But Reasonably Good People, and sort of consider them like honorary mage-mascots, bringing them food supplies in exchange with help in repairing the mill wheel (because the building handyman is really good at mechanical structures like that), and so on and so forth.

“Yes, they glow at night and wear colors not naturally extracted from plant dyes, but you do get used to the sudden invisible minstrel performances...weird though said music may sound... And they have these interesting games, far more complex than chess or nine-man-morris.” "Yes, I quite like the stick-stacking one, Jenga or whatever it's called." "I love the magical picture plays, though I'm not sure why they keep calling that elven fellow a 'vull-can' or whatever."

isekai about a nyc apartment block getting teleported into a fantasy realm, and how this group of people who previously have only had incidental contact with one another come together to build a vibrant community in their new circumstances. there's a season-long arc about introducing bagels and pizza to the fantasy world that gets into the details of sourcing ingredients, developing new technologies, and learning how to work with supernatural substitutions.

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sepublic · 4 years ago

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If the characters of The Owl House had JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Stands, who would have which Stand? (Note: It can be from any part in the series, not just Part 3)

First off, I just want to say- THANK YOU, because The Owl House and Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, two of my favorite things ever, in one ask? And I get to ANALYZE the two? This is a dream come true…!

I love Stands, not only for their unique designs and crazy abilities that can get weirdly specific, but also because they’re essentially a reflection of one’s soul, so they’re a great glimpse into a character’s personality! As someone who loves the characters from The Owl House, this is naturally a fun way to explore their psyche by assigning a Stand most compatible with them, White Snake-style!

I should preface that for this ask, I’m going to be using Stands from Parts 1-6. Unfortunately, I haven’t yet read Steel Ball Run, nor Jojolion; I plan to, and maybe on another day I’ll revisit this ask with updated information- Assuming that any of the new Stands I encounter and know about fit the characters more than the ones already assigned to them.

But with that out of the way… Here’s a list of characters and the Stands I’ve assigned to them- For fun, I’ve even gone over some minor named characters (although Bellows and Kikimora were left out due to there being too little to work with)! Some characters will have multiple Stands, if only because I couldn’t decide between some, or I felt like there were others worth considering. Lengthy explanations for my reasoning will be underneath the cut, as well as alternate Stand possibilities, even for those who I’ve already made a decision on!

(I’m going for best fits, not perfect ones)

Luz- The Cure

Eda- Sticky Fingers

King- Wheel of Fortune/Bad Company/Harvest/Little Feet/Weather Report

Hooty- Horus

Owlbert- Anubis/Stray Cat/Sex Pistols/Aerosmith

Willow- Strength

Gus- Hierophant Green/Emperor

Amity- Spice Girl

Lilith- Magician’s Red

Emira- Joy Division

Edric- Khnum

Boscha- Goo Goo Dolls

Mattholomule- The Lock

Bump- The Grateful Dead

Wrath- Bastet

Adegast- Judgement

Tibbles- Marilyn Manson

Bat Queen- Atom Heart Father

Starting off is Luz, the main character and personal favorite of mine! She was REALLY difficult to figure out… I considered multiple options for her, such as Crazy Diamond, Gold Experience, Heaven’s Door, Bohemian Rhapsody, etc. Ultimately however, I decided to go for a rather obscure Stand, one from the light novel Golden Heart, Golden Ring- The Cure. To put it simply, The Cure, well… Cures people by absorbing wounds and injuries, becoming bigger before eventually dissipating the accumulated hurt. I feel like this reflects greatly Luz’s very kind, almost healing nature- She helps provide Eda with a greater sense of found family, she helps ‘fix’ Willow’s situation and self-esteem, as well as Amity’s own insecurity and loneliness, etc. Not only that, but Luz also has a lot of thematic similarities with The Cure’s user, Coniglio- Coniglio is heavily associated with Alice from Alice in Wonderland.

The character of Alice is led into a new, magical world by a small creature she later befriends, and gets into trouble with the local law- Just like Luz. Coniglio herself was ostracized when she was younger, being called a Witch, which fits Luz’s initial loneliness, and of course her eventual aspirations. Coniglio is an inexperienced Stand User when we meet her, just as Luz is still learning magic. Finally, Coniglio learns to control and tame her stand, which takes the form of a rabbit- Luz is associated with small animal sidekicks, such as King or Owlbert. However, The Cure can also turn into a more monstrous form and become berserk, which in its own way mirrors Luz’s relationship with Eda, and how she has to calm her mentor and revert her back the way Coniglio did.

For a more canon option, there’s also The Sun. We don’t really know anything about is user, Arabia Fats- The most we can glean is that he’s clever, but he can also rely on dumb ideas. Likewise, his Stand is incredibly powerful, but provides almost nothing to defend him. If one goes by the Tarot meaning, however, The Sun is associated with good times, with fun and optimism, all that stuff! It’s about someone who still maintains childlike wonder… and that sounds like Luz! She’s kind, bright, and in a lot of ways a ‘light’ to others’ lives, which is also supported by her name’s literal translation!

Continuing on Tarot meanings, we can also go for The Fool- It’s about being adventurous, of starting a new journey. There’s some freedom, but also a bit of carelessness, which reflects how Luz didn’t quite fully think through her actions in the beginning of Episode 1, or her plan in Episode 3. The Fool is a bit of an outsider compared to the rest of the Arcana, which fits Luz’s outsider status as a human who somehow goes Magic anyway. And like The Fool, Luz can be somewhat unpredictable and unusual, at least to those who know her- She’s kind of a cryptid to them, what with having confetti in her pockets at all times(?) and casually revealing that she knows the infamous Bat Queen.

For Eda, I chose Sticky Fingers- Someone else on Twitter mentioned it, I don’t remember who… But they analyzed a few of the Stands of Part 5, and during their analysis they discussed how Sticky Fingers is symbolic of Bruno’s ability to connect with others, making his own path to them, zipping them together, etc. Bruno Bucciarati is a mom with a found family, which I feel suits Eda’s personality. Likewise, they’re both criminals, who willingly left a prestigious organization despite their talent and the powerful role they could’ve had in the group, as a result of moral disagreements with its ideals and leader. Plus, Sticky Fingers is a term that refers to people who like to steal, and we know from Covention that Eda is a notorious pickpocket!

On the other hand, Weather Report is also neat. It’s associated with a character dealing with memory loss, which fits Eda’s schtick and character a whole lot, what with not remembering who cursed her. Likewise, Weather Report (the user) has a brother, Enrico Pucci; The two used to have a more complex antagonism, although by Stone Ocean it’s a lot more straightforward. Still, this kind of complex sibling relationship also works with Eda and Lilith, and with Weather Report being a ridiculously powerful Stand (just as Eda is the strongest Witch), I feel it also works for her character, personality, and motifs.

King is the most interesting and diverse scenario for me. I’ve considered Wheel of Fortune for him; Both rely on an outside force, a pre-existing thing, in order to function. Likewise, Wheel of Fortune’s power is proportional to the user’s confidence, which fits with how King talks big about himself. Its user, ZZ, also made a big deal of talking himself up, being a lot of bark in order to build up his confidence… However, the moment things begin to fall apart, his confidence wanes and he basically runs away. His powers diminish, and he becomes all bark and no bite. This kind of sounds like King- Obviously there’s more courage to him than with ZZ, but generally speaking, the concept of a character who’s in over their head and operates a lot on building up their self-confidence, only for it to collapse as soon as things go wrong, fits with King.

On another hand, Harvest and Bad Company fit King’s whole desire to lead massive armies, and his claims of having been a King of Demons. Having a Colony Stand that acts as his personal army of loyal followers and soldiers fits almost perfectly; Bad Company is more militarized, representing King’s grandiose aspirations for power, and him becoming a Drill Sergeant in Episode 11 definitely helps this. It’s also associated with a lost childhood, which… King is kid-coded and he doesn’t seem to be necessarily missing out on anything, but the idea is still there. However, Harvest is less deadly, having a more animalistic appearance, being cuter, and having an inclination towards theft that King himself also does. Plus, King seems like the kind of person who’d use Harvest to carry himself across the sidewalk, let’s be real here!

Finally, I’m considering Weather Report as an option, if only because of the fan theory going around (which I’ve dabbled in) about King having once been the Boiling Isles Titan, or at least an ACTUAL King of Demons… Part of the theory speculates that he lost his memories, which fits into Weather Report’s arc. It’s about a hidden potential, that when rediscovered, can be outright terrifying. Little Feet also works with King’s Napoleon Complex.

King is an interesting character to assign a Stand to, in part because there’s a lot we actually don’t know about him, and the mystery surrounding him as a result. I feel like we once we learn more about King’s backstory and who he is, we may get a better idea of what Stand most fits him.

Horus was assigned to Hooty, not only because of his bird motif, but also because the Egyptian God Horus is seen as a protector, just like the Stand’s user Pet Shop, who acts as Dio’s main guard for his mansion; Likewise, Hooty is the Owl House’s primary security system, and ‘state-of-the-art’ no less. Not only that, but… To get into some heavy theorizing here, @fermented-writers-block has speculated that Hooty may or may not have connections to a hypothetical ‘Owl Deity’, of which we see a mural of in Episode 1. To put it as simply as possible, Hooty is either a manifestation of this Owl Deity’s power, OR the Owl Deity itself; And if so, then assigning Hooty a stand named after a major Egyptian God seems all the more appropriate. Additionally, Pet Shop himself has a helmet typically used to restrain birds of prey, and Hooty himself usually needs to be ‘restrained’; Either told to stop his cryptic riddles and just give straight-forward answers, or kept from tearing apart a canvas.

Also, if that one MSN article mentioning a labyrinth below the Owl House is true, then Hooty could also have Tenore Sax; It’s a Stand that manipulates the environment, and was used to make Dio’s Mansion look like a maze. It’s about control of one’s environment, which makes sense given how Hooty controls the Owl House itself. Hooty could also have Mr. President, as it’s a Stand wielded by an animal that provides a safe environment for others to live in- Befitting of Hooty’s role as the Owl House.

Owlbert is a bit weird, in that he’s already wielded by others; Still, he’s a part of the family, so I feel obligated to include him. Off the top of my head are a couple of considerations- There’s Anubis, which exists as a sword that can be wielded physically by the user and even others, outliving its user- That fits Owlbert’s capabilities and role as a Palisman to a staff! Stray Cat is also an option, because like Owlbert it’s an animal that’s born of plant-matter and associated with the air, albeit through air bubbles.

Sex Pistols is a Stand that needs care and attention, just like Owlbert, and also has its own personality. Likewise, the Sex Pistols support and enhance the ability of another, pre-existing tool, just as Owlbert enhances Eda’s magic and helps her focus it through her staff. Finally, we have Aerosmith- They’re both free-flying, but also very powerful and capable, and not to be underestimated. Like King, there are plenty of options for him that all fit in their own ways.

Willow was a fun topic, and ultimately for her, I’m gonna go with Strength. Ignoring its user, Strength is a stand that recognizes and unlocks the hidden potential of just about anything it finds, no matter how innocuous; Willow is a character who is meek and shy, but contains a hidden power and talent that is legitimately powerful. Strength is an incredibly powerful stand, upgrading a regular boat into an entire shipping freighter; Willow is able to turn a seed into an entire garden of powerful, thorny vines. They involve nurturing power and helping it grow. Plus, most depictions of the Strength Tarot Card involve a woman taming a lion- And I think that kind of works with how Willow may seem all gentle, but she controls and tames powerful plant-monsters. Also, a recent drawing by Dana seems to confirm that Willow is canonically buff, so that works too, alongside the Tarot’s additional meaning of controlling oneself, as Willow does with her anger!

There is also the minor consideration of Purple Haze, given that Willow has genuine frustration in her that can manifest as real, powerful rage. However, Purple Haze also explicitly hurts and shoves others away, which Willow doesn’t do- She’s kind and open and is already good friends with Gus by the time Luz appears. Gold Experience is also a very viable option, given its power of creating life and facilitating growth- However, I decided to go with Strength, not only because of the additional symbolism of hidden potential (which matches Willow’s initial, unrecognized talent), but also because of the symbolism of the tarot card. And also, Gold Experience is a main character Stand and already a pretty obvious option, so trying something a bit more unique seemed interesting.

Gus is another VERY hard one for me, like with King- It’s not that I don’t get his personality, it’s just that there are plenty of Stands that I feel could match him. For example, we’ve got Hierophant Green- Its user, Kakyoin, was lonely and is also an excellent student. He desired friends, which he got through the Stardust Crusaders- Similarly, Gus himself is talented but also expresses loneliness over being younger than everyone else, with part of his motivation for forming the H.A.S. to make friends and also provide support for others who’ve gone through the same experience. Likewise, Gus may not have the raw power that his other friends have, but he’s still plenty clever himself, like Kakyoin.

There’s also Emperor; The tarot meaning discusses a person who takes a leadership role, and its reverse is losing control of that leadership, as well as poor decision-making. This relates well to Gus’ conflict in Episode 9; Likewise, Emperor’s user is Hol Horse, who prefers to be Number Two and is aware of his own flaws, not desiring the spotlight. Gus himself states in Episode 6 that he knows what he’s about, not at all concerned that Luz doesn’t consider him as strong as Eda or Willow- He doesn’t particularly seek attention or glory. Gus is happy and content with being a ‘Dweebus’ and embraces it alongside his supporting role, like Hol Horse. Also, the kid wears a crown when he’s in charge of the H.A.S., and that’s something I really want to incorporate with his Stand’s symbolism!

On a lesser note, there’s also Kiss- It’s a Stand that makes doubles of things, and Gus has an affinity for Illusion spells that can create copies of him, tangible or otherwise. Dolly Dagger from Purple Haze Feedback is wielded by Vittorio, who is the child of his group, and represents him not being ready to handle a lot of the responsibility placed upon him; Just as Gus struggles with control over the H.A.S., as well as the isolation that comes from being a talented student who’s younger than the rest and not taken seriously.

King, Owlbert, and Gus are definitely a dilemma to me… There’s plenty you could assign to either of them, and I feel I’ve only scratched the surface of Gus’ potential Stands. The dude has range and potential, so it’s hard for me to decide given how my options are ultimately limited and usually specific.

For Amity, I went with Spice Girl. Spice Girl is a manifestation of Trish’s psyche, and her whole character involves putting up a hardened, mean, stoic façade in order to hide how scared and vulnerable she feels; A lot like Amity, who tends to push people away because of her loneliness- She mentions not wanting to show ‘weakness’. Like Amity, Trish learns to be strong in her own way, in a way that can still be soft, while incredibly strong and resilient; A form of kindness and personal growth that manifests literally through Spice Girl’s ability to make things soft yet virtually indestructible. Amity hasn’t quite completed her character arc, but she’s made major steps towards it by opening up to Luz and learning to be nicer. So, Spice Girl it is!

There’s also Purple Haze- Fugo and Amity are both high-performing students with a lot of pressure on them, who deal with genuine frustration over their situation. Purple Haze’s ability forces others away lest they get hurt, representing Fugo’s paranoia over his childhood trauma, and how he ends up ‘pushing’ the others away when he chooses not to go on the boat. However, Purle Haze doesn’t fit as well the way Spice Girl does, because Purple Haze represents a genuine rage and anger boiling within Fugo… Whereas Amity, while she IS frustrated, doesn’t seem to have particular fury, being more inclined towards insecurity and loneliness.

Lilith was assigned Magician’s Red. I looked into the meaning of the Magician Tarot card, and to sum it up simply, it’s about having talent and seeking out success. Our first appearance of Lilith has her making a demonstration to a bunch of young, impressionable Witches, flaunting her own talent and success, and appealing those traits to her audience, explaining that Witches who join the Emperor’s Coven are the most powerful and highest-ranking of them all. Likewise, she also has an eye for talent, nurturing the skills and abilities of Witches such as Amity. Plus, there’s also the symbolic relevance of her having a Stand with magic in its name, as well as one with a bird-like appearance; Fitting given her White Raven symbolism, and association with the Emperor’s Coven and its bird motifs. And like the user Avdol, Lilith also has a bit of a flair for flashiness.

Like Luz, Emira was tricky in that I couldn’t quite find a Stand that suited her, so I’ve gone with my next-best option; Joy Division, another very obscure Stand, from the same light novel as Luz’s assigned Stand. Joy Division switches objects around, which mirrors what Emira did to the librarian and Gary in her debut. It’s a Stand that’s perfect and ideal for her kind of mischief and clever tricks. Likewise, its user, Sogliola, has wealth, prestige, and status as a Capo in Passione- Emira herself is a member of the presumably wealthy and high-status Blight family.

As I mentioned earlier, Edric is also tricky in that I didn’t find a Stand that quite suited what personality we’ve seen from him. Ultimately, I settled on one good for mischief, Khnum- It’s a Stand that allows one to change their appearance, which fits Edric’s Illusion spells and that one spell he used to make himself look a lot more extravagant. Khnum’s user, Oingo, is also not exactly the brightest, and he’s associated with a close sibling that he’s always beside, who also has a Stand- Which can match Edric’s relationship with Emira.

I’m also considering Jail House Lock; It’s great for tricking and mentally messing with people by making them forget things and become confused, befitting Edric’s mischievous nature. Also, it making people forgetful can sort of connect to Edric being dumb in his own way, I guess- I dunno. I feel like Emira and Edric’s Stands don’t have a particularly deep connection to them individually, in part because there’s not much we’ve learned yet to differentiate the two, and the issue of finding Stands that fit, while trying to avoid repeating them for characters unless as a potential possibility. It is worth noting that Jail House Lock’s user, Miu Miu, has power and status- Another thing one can associate with the Blights.

Boscha got Goo Goo Dolls. The Stand is a reflection of the user’s possessive personality over their ‘friends’, treating them more like toys or pets to be bossed around with and told what to do. Boscha has a bossy nature, as seen with how she treats one of her friends in Episode 8, and likewise she is somewhat possessive of them- When King gets their attention, Boscha is clearly focused on getting back her control of the situation. Nothing is saying she can’t get along with King and he didn’t explicitly exclude her from the fun, but Boscha nevertheless chose to heighten the conflict. And of course, she initially meets King and wants to buy him as a pet, befitting Gwess’ desire for ‘pets’.

I’ve also considered Bad Company for her, for a few mostly speculative reasons. To sum it up shortly, I suspect that Boscha may have a bad situation at home, where an incompetent mother is relying on Boscha for emotional support, forcing her to essentially ‘grow up’ and be the responsible one in charge. Bad Company represents a childhood that is missed out on due to an inadequate parent that the user ends up having to look after, and likewise, it involves telling others what to do; Also something Boscha likes. However, because this is mostly speculative, I’m just going to have to go for Goo Goo Dolls for now.

Mattholomule has The Lock. Initially I considered Surface, but ultimately I went with The Lock because unlike Hazamada, Mattholomule doesn’t seem to have any particular envy towards Gus nor does he want to be him, insteading having a general desire for power and drama. The Lock reflects how he tries to garner sympathy from the other members of the HAS when his plan begins to backfire on him; It’s a Stand that’s entirely reliant on others’ perception and pity/guilt for the user.

Similarly, it’s otherwise pretty powerless, which goes along with Mattholomule’s general incompetence and failure in most facets of life. The Lock is either relinquished by the user’s command, if the victim no longer feels guilty, and/or if they’re given ‘reparations’ for the ‘damage’ they received- Mattholomule is all about getting status and whatnot. Also, The Lock functions as a Lie Detector, which can make sense with how Mattholomule lies for his own personal gain.

Principal Bump has The Grateful Dead. The stand’s user, Prosciutto, is someone who takes an older and more experienced mentor role, just like Bump. Likewise, Prosciutto is willing to do harsh things to someone underneath his tutelage, but ultimately he still takes his leadership role very seriously, wants to get the job done, and genuinely has it in his best interest to see the person he apprentices unlock their hidden potential. Bump may have extreme methods such as his Trouble Detectors and even brainwashing kids in detention, but ultimately he’s genuinely invested in the future success of his students, and will even break the law for their sake and that of a human, a total stranger.

It’d seem obvious to give Wrath a stand like Jail House Lock (given its user, Miu Miu, is also a warden), but in terms of personality, I ultimately went with Bastet. Bastet is defined by creating attractions, and is associated with electromagnetism- Which itself doesn’t just pull things together, but repelsthem as well. Bastet’s user, Mariah, is attracted to Dio because of how powerful he is, among other traits. Wrath is attracted to Eda, letting his attraction override his own duties as a Warden because he thinks the two of them will make a Power Couple; Both him and Mariah want to go big, or go home! Bastet lures targets in through their curiosity, Wrath lures in Eda by having King’s Burger Queen crown… Finally, while this is never expressed by Bastet itself, the theme of magnetism also relates to repellingforces. And Wrath is clearly repelled by the abnormal, seeking to contain the deviants of society, and is easily disgusted by something as simple as a raspberry because of the potential germs it could spread.

As an alternative option, there IS Planet Waves- Its user, Viviano Westwood, is a guard at a prison. He’s a cruel, brute-force jerk whose Stand allows him to physically overpower and smash through most obstacles and foes, and he deliberately looks down on prisoners as the ‘scum’ of society, taking delight in abusing his position to torment them. These all sound a lot like Wrath, so if one feels like Bastet doesn’t adequately capture his personality, there’s always Planet Waves as an alternative.

Adegast was given Judgement, for obvious reasons- It’s a Stand that toys with a victim’s heart and plays on their desires. That’s literally what Adegast does- Plays on Luz’s desires to be deemed special, to live out her fantasy, only to cruelly tear it away at the last second and mock her for it. Both his illusions and Judgement’s clay constructs dissolve into dust. And while Judgement is physically powerful, contrasting with Adegast’s incredibly frail body, the cowardice of Cameo pairs well with Adegast’s nature.

For Tibbles, I briefly entertained Osiris and Atum, especially Osiris given its association with card games (and Tibbles is good at Hexes Hold ‘em), and the idea of gambles in general. Ultimately however, I stuck with Marilyn Manson, which operates on a similar basis of the user winning a game and utterly defeating the loser as a result. Marilyn Manson is special in that it prioritizes material wealth, aiming to reap money or anything else of similar value; Which fits into Tibbles being a greedy capitalist who acts like he owns King and takes him without either his nor Eda’s consent, just as Marilyn Manson can be used to steal a Stand Disc that was never disclosed as part of the arrangement.

Finally, the Bat Queen was given Atom Heart Father. She was another difficult person to assign a Stand to, but ultimately I decided on Yoshihiro Kira’s stand. I get that there’s irony of Atom Heart Father having a paternal name, compared to the Bat Queen’s maternal status, but just bear with me for a moment. Like the Bat Queen, Yoshihiro is a parent, but he’s one who has concern for the person he’s looking after, to the point where his attempts to protect that person can be overall detrimental to that actual person’s growth; In this case, his son Yoshikage.

The Bat Queen has taken it upon herself to look after a LOT of discarded, rejected Palismans, among them Owlbert. However, in her concern for their plight and any pain they might go through, the Bat Queen has unfortunately projected some of her views on Witches a bit; When Owlbert wants to reunite with Luz, she interferes on his behalf, believing she knows best. The Bat Queen wants to do what’s best, what’s ‘safest’ for Owlbert, but in reality she’s only hurting him in the long run. Thankfully, Owlbert is able to stand up for himself, and the Bat Queen listens to reason.

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coasttocoastreads · 5 years ago

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Welcome back to Week 2 of Coast to Coast Reads! Who’s still alive? Katya and I are dying while social distancing, but at least we had a few laughs discussing this book:

Crescent City (House of Blood and Earth) // Sarah J Maas

★★ / ★★★★★

Summary in one two gif(s):

Real Summary:

Crescent City, a place where vanir (supernatural beings such as angels, fae, shifters, etc.) and humans freely mingle and go about their days. Bryce Quilan is a 20-something fae/human who’s still reeling from the murder of her friends 2 years ago. But after she’s commissioned to help search for an ancient artifact, Bryce, along with her new angel partner Hunt, unearth previously buried secrets about the murder that threaten to expose a worldwide conspiracy.

Pros:

Great side characters. I would die for each and every one of them.

Lots of different mythological creatures! Not just another Fae Book™️

Cons:

It’s literally ToG 2-7 combined. If you read Throne of Glass, you’ve already been spoiled for this book. 💀💀💀

It’s wayyyy too long

Drags a lot in the beginning

Plot .5/5 (the .5 is for you, Lehaba)

What can I say. SJM literally plagiarized herself by taking the plotline of the tog books and translating it to this new setting. The writing itself was subpar, and most of the time it felt like the author herself had no idea where the plot was going, instead letting it drag on until a plot twist that makes no sense is revealed. (You’ll know which one I’m talking about when you get there.) I’ll compare CC with ToG with spoilers under the cut.

Pacing 2/5

The beginning is full of info-dumping as SJM tries to set up this world which is metaphorically like ours, but everyone’s hot and does fantasy cocaine all the time. It narrates boring day-to-day schedules that could have been condensed into a paragraph and at times I was tempted to skip ahead. The plot does pick up near the last 25% though, so I’ll give it that.

Worldbuilding 2.5/5

It was confusing. To be fair, after all the info was dumped at the beginning, I didn’t bother going back to try to figure things out when they popped up again after. But like still??? I think I only started understanding the hierarchy of the government with the Asterrii(?). Also what are the Triarii I am still lost. SJM attempts to blend a more modern society with one of fantasy creatures, and for the most part it succeeds, but it often just feels...strange. I think the one thing I’m most hung up about is why swords and guns still coexist. Like ??????? it’s one or the other plssssss abandon the “aesthetic” Also while they literally have cell phones and keurig machines there aren’t common things like cars? Why.

Characters: (This is unconventional, bear with me)

Main Characters: -infinity/5 they could go die for all I care

Bryce and Hunt were both super unlikeable, 10/10 would let fall from a cliff. They are literally just rewrites of Aelin and Rowan? Bryce is like ahahaha yeah people think I’m Just a dumb vapid Female™️ who parties too much and gets trashed but SIKE I’m actually the chosen one and I’ve been hiding it this whole time because I didn’t want to hurt people’s feelings uwu. And did I mention I’m actually a trained Warrior who can keep up with The Boys? It’s Aelin y’all. There are numerous times where a character says that she’s not stupid and I’m like...are you sure... This girl makes the poorest decisions, yet ofc, there aren’t any long term consequences... (Also 99% of her problems come from ghosting people literally just respond with “k” sis)

Hunt is... idek what to say about Hunt. He’s just Rowan but in angel form. His inner monologue cycles between I must pay off my debt so I can gain Freedom 😔, why is Bryce so hot 🥴, and Shahar 😭. Once again, literally Rowan who also was bound to some evil villain, had the hots for their CENTURIES YOUNGER pupil/protectee, and had an old lover die tragically which led to them believing they can never find love again UNTIL BryLin comes along. Snooze.

Side Characters: Infinity/5

Ruhn Danaan was the most valid character and that’s the hill I’ll die on. He literally just wanted to protect his sister cuz she’s stupid af but she keeps pushing him away bc he’s an “alphahole” (haha how subversive :/) I want a whole book about him and Hypaxia, preferably fanfiction so I don’t have to read “soft feminine breathing” ever again.

Literally all the supporting cast- Lehaba, Therion, Ithan, Jesiba, Flynn, Connor, etc, etc. had more compelling characters and side stories than Bryce/Hunt. I was 100% more invested in them and I can’t wait to read/write more about them.

(Pls let me marry Jesiba Roga or Therion 🥺)

But while the people on the “good” side were spectacular, the villains all felt one-dimensional and the product of over-recycled and overused tropes mashed together. Sandriel and Pollux are literally just Maeve and Cairn (is that his name)

I’d recommend for:

People who loved Throne of Glass and are lamenting the absence of new content. Please read about Rowaelin 2.0

People stuck at home during this global crisis and have too much time on their hands. (If you need that free epub, hmu)

People who are willing to skip all scenes that feature just Bryce and/or Hunt

People who hate themselves

Would I travel here?

Sorry, what? Already shredded my passport, not getting a replacement, sorry.

Overall thoughts:

I wish I could somehow take those hours of my life back but alas.

See y’all in two weeks with a hopefully better book selection,

Tiff

Spoilers under cut

Okay time to VENT

OKAY so CC=ToG, let’s break down how

Danika’s death is the Nehemia Incident, setting the mc up for a journey of self discovery/reclaiming their power. They both show up as ghosts later to encourage mc in a time of great self-struggle.

Syrinx if Fleetfoot. bc all female mc’s need a pet to reveal her Feminine and Soft side

Sandriel and Pollux are Maeve and Cairn. Evil female character with vast power and her torturer? COOKIE CUTTER FORMULA. The scene where Bryce offers herself up for Hunt in the lobby also kinda mirrors that scene in..HoF? QoS? Don’t remember, but pretty sure that happened. Also that scene was so fucking dumb, I really thought Bryce had a Smart Plan, but I was bamboozled once again.

A gem from my notes: “Bryce is Aelin but with cocaine”

I think the whole demon portal thing is a ripoff of ACOWAR (or is it KoA I can’t even remember), sacrificing yourself to close the rift, etc, etc.

Anyways, Bryce = Aelin, a party-girl front with a sob backstory that’s her superpower origin story who always has a Plan.

Hunt = Rowan, broody warrior busy repaying debts getting orders they don’t want while pining over a lost love. They reluctantly let the female mc in and voila they’re in LOVE

The whole “plot twist” that revealed Hunt’s true plan along was so fucking dumb...

It wasn’t a plot twist, it was just plain bad writing

There was no set up at all, nothing alluding to Hunt secretly masterminding an attempted coup with the help of Magic Meth

The whole time I was like “...this is part of their plan right. There’s no way he legit planned this...”

Character’s POVs should reveal what they’re thinking, even if you’re just hinting at something to reveal later...this was just lazy

Another thing that really rubbed me the wrong way was the sudden reveal that Fury and Juniper had been in a relationship the whole time? Despite like above, there was no prior allusion to that?

It felt like half-assed representation at best and completely irrelevant to the story with it coming up again in a throwaway line near the end

Also? I’m fairly certain there was a scene in the beginning where they were all out clubbing and Juniper hooked up with some rando while Fury was also at the club with them? Was this before they got together or did SJM insert this so last minute that no one caught it?

Wtf is sunball. Can someone just help me out here.

Some people have been saying Hunt is Asian coded? Where???!!!!! All I’m seeing is the same stuff she pulled in ACOTAR where all the Illyrians were tan so people could claim they were poc for woke points but not get in trouble for art depicting them as white ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

SJM pls stay away from “like calls to like” you don’t deserve it

#crescent city #house of blood and earth #sarah j maas #tiffs reviews #2 stars #fantasy #bookblr #booklr #bookstagram #book review #yalit #reading #books

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fleshpurifies · 4 years ago

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THE BIG BLEACH HC MEME centering around politics, repost & fill out! For anyone who wanted to explore those aspects more, considering it played a big role in the story. Some things may be unknown to your Muse, just think in WHAT IF then & well, have fun and take your time!

BASICS

Name: Unohana / / / Age: 3000+ / / / Gender: nonbinary woman Race: Shinigami / Quincy / Hollow / Fullbringer / Visored / Human / Other Currently lives: Soul Society / Hueco Mundo / Silbern / Living World / Hell Exact Location: Seireitei Group(s): Gotei 13, Squad 4, Squad 11 (formerly)

QUESTIONS

- Would your muse consider themselves more: GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL ? - Would your muse consider their group more: GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL ? - How does your muse think others see them: GOOD / EVIL / NEUTRAL ? - How does your muse think others see their race: GOOD / EVIL / NEUTRAL ? - How does your muse think others see their group: GOOD / EVIL / NEUTRAL ?

- Is your muse considered a threat: YES / NO ? By whom?: Central 46 , to the Soul Society governed by laws and ideals of justice , to any living creature in any and all realms on an instinctual level - Is your muse powerful: YES / NO ? Could they be considered OP: YES / NO ? (probably... but i love op women so keep them coming) - Did your muse commit any crimes: YES / NO ? (sweaty emoji) - Does your muse think they are doing mostly the right thing: YES / NO ? - Would society think the same: YES / NO / MIXED OPINIONS ? Does your muse think they are treated unfairly: YES / NO ? - Does your muse feel understood from others: YES / NO ? - Is it important for them what others think of them as a person: YES / NO ? - Would they welcome death: YES / NO ? - Will they ever find peace: YES / NO ?

01.0. Do they fully stand behind the group they are part of? YES / NO. Why is that? Explain: As one of the founding members of the Gotei Thirteen, Unohana’s loyalty to Yamamoto and resolve to uphold the governing laws have never once wavered.

02.0. Do they like as things are in Soul Society? YES / NO. 02.1. Is there anything they would change? Explain here: It’s not until she becomes ‘Retsu’ Unohana, that she truly begins to understand feelings like empathy and compassion, even if feigned at first to fulfill the role she’s taken. While she feels sympathy for those souls subjected to living in Rukongai in poverty, and genuinely wants the legislature of Central 46 to improve the quality of life for the poor outside of Seireitei’s walls, her sense of duty to the Yamamoto and the Gotei, as well as her own responsibility in regards to her personal ‘sin’ outweighs much else. She is capable of recognizing the nuance of morality to some extent, especially as Retsu, she firmly distinguishes right from wrong (her compliance with Rukia’s execution for example, despite recognising it was objectively too severe a punishment), but this code will in most cases come second to upholding Soul Society’s ideals.

- (this next area is tricky because I stand by the fact that there is a LOT of conflict with the image of ‘The Self’ that exists within Unohana, and as such, she falls into the category of both traits in a lot of these- bold is the more dominant of the two, italicized is secondary)

03.0. Would they ever actively try to bring change (in general)? YES / NO. 03.1. Is your muse more: passive / active ? Introverted / Extroverted ? 03.2. Does your muse care more about: others / themselves ? 03.3. Do they trouble their mind over a lot of problems, others? YES / NO. 03.4. Do they mostly involve: the world / everyone / themselves / comrades / friends / family / elderly / kids / teenagers / home / workplace / strangers / souls / humans / quincy / shinigami / nobles / fullbringer / visored / hollows / espada / arrancar / former bosses / pets / animals / zanpakuto spirit / enemies / partner / lovers / soul king / god / other…(add more) 03.5. Name (up to) three which are the most on their mind (optional, adding names): - Kenpachi Zaraki. The burden of guilt weighing heavy on her shoulders, the promise of the heights he could rise to, should she raise him properly. - Isane Kotetsu. Her tender-hearted, earnest ally in everything; who she trusts to keep her greatest secrets (her greatest shame), the person with whom she entrusts her zanpakuto, who runs to her side when the nightmares are too vivid, who will proudly stand alongside her, and honor her legacy as Retsu. - Genryuusai Shigekuni Yamamoto. When monsters still roamed the realms and the balance of souls was in chaos, her strength was once sought out by one such demon in exchange for endless enemies to fight and cut down for him. She has never looked back. - Shutara Senjumaru. They once knew each other when they were nothing more than The Kenpachi and a noblewoman. Feelings, relationships, names, social standing, roles, identity— if everything about a person is subject to change, what is left remaining? Still, the threads connect; pulling, stretching, but never breaking.

04.0. Do they think frequently about politics? YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Why is that? Explain: Her position as a long-standing Captain and founding member of the Gotei Thirteen itself is highly politicized. As stated above, Unohana has a strong sense of objective “right and wrong”, but this always comes second to her duty to Soul Society. Specifically following Aizen’s betrayal given her direct role in partial discovery of his scheme, she gives deeper thinking to the flaws within the Central 46 governing system.

05.0. How do they feel in their current location, more: POSITIVE / NEGATIVE / NEUTRAL ? 05.1. Why is that?: Positive is in response to her death, and Kenpachi absolving her of her sins and guilt over being unable to bestow him her title years earlier. Neutral & Positive also both correlate to her standing and service as the 4th Division Captain, as well as the post-canon AU I’ve given her.

06.0. Does your muse have any goal: YES / NO ? BIG / SMALL ? 06.1. Does it involve anything world-changing: YES / NO ? (technically ig??) 06.2. If goal or not, any future plans? Share here: To raise the next Kenpachi and correct her mistake. Though perhaps in itself a small goal, the ramifications on the world are large, and it is a largely character-defining goal for her.

07.0. Does your muse know about the original sin of soul society*: YES / NO / MAYBE ? * curious? Read about it here. 07.1. If they knew, would it change their views on Soul Society: YES / NO ? 07.2. More: POSITIVE / NEGATIVE / NEUTRAL ?

08.0. Who is the worst person in their eyes?: Yhwach , Aizen 08.1. What should happen to them? Execution (quick / slow death) / Imprisonment / Stripped of their powers / Torture / Repay for their sins / Pay a Fine / Social Work / lose their loved ones / Exile / other… (add more). 08.2. Explanation: I feel like they’re both fairly self explanatory, though extra points to Yhwach for killing Yamamoto because she is Not A Fan

09.0. Thoughts on the Quincy Massacre if they knew: POSITIVE / NEGATIVE / NEUTRAL ? 09.1. Would they be alright with such thing happening again: YES / NO / INDIFFERENT ? 09.2. Would they try to prevent it: YES / NO / DEPENDS ? 09.3. Explanation: They were a threat to Soul Society and the balance of souls between the realms, one that was eliminated in response to a rebellion they themselves started. Perhaps if circumstances were different (such as, the Mod Soul dump/genocide, where they were innocent), there wouldn’t have been a need for such bloodshed. But as always, everything is done in the name of preserving the balance of souls, regardless of the cost.

10.0. Would they ever switch sides: YES / NO ? 10.1. If yes, What could bring them to do so?: N/A 10.2. Would they create a new one: YES / NO ? or join a current one? If so, which: In my post-canon AU, she “retires” to Rukongai and lives as an herbalist before being recruited by Yoruichi Shihoin to teach at the Shin’o Academy. So in that sense, she joins a current subset of the Soul Society faction with which she was aligned.

11.0. Does your muse follow a certain moral code*?: YES / NO / GRAY AREA ? (UH... LOL) * (ethics) A written, formal, and consistent set of rules prescribing righteous behavior, accepted by a person or by a group of people. 11.1. What does it involve?: The laws and governing laid out by Central 46, though this is secondary to Yamamoto’s commands. The latter is especially important, given that Yamamoto’s own laws changed drastically over time. 11.2. What does it NOT involve?: This one is subject to the changes laid out above; torture, murder, violence, whatever earns you the title of The Most Bloodthirsty and Violent Criminal In Soul Society’s History.

YOUR MUSE’S VIEWS / OPINIONS ON THESE GROUPS ?

Central 46: positive / negative / neutral. ━ because: they govern the Soul Society, but she follows primarily Yamamoto’s command.

Four Great Noble Clans: positive / negative / neutral. ━ because: She herself has no divisive opinion on the Nobility beyond her disapproval that certain members can buy their way into a high rank within the Gotei. Those positions ought to be earned by strength and skill, not monetary means. That said, due to the Nobility having extensive influence within Soul Society, Unohana has personally served as the attending physician to such distinguished houses, most notably the Kuchiki Household (with regards to Ginrei, Sojun, and Hisana).

Royal Guards / Gotei 13: positive / negative / neutral . ━ because: She literally helped to create the Gotei 13, so there is a certain amount of pride in that fact.

Fullbringer: positive / negative / neutral. ━ because: Other than the actions and fate of one Ginjou Kuugo, she has no true opinion on Fullbringers existing as their own “spiritual race”.

Visored: positive / negative / neutral. ━ because: Not positive in the sense that she is perfectly fine with their circumstances, however she explicitly refers to them as her “comrades”, which is an especially interesting note given how other Gotei officers and Captains reacted with suspicion or out right disgust. Unohana has been known to heal enemy and ally alike, however, and likely viewed them as such given their shared history as Gotei officers, as well as already having proven themselves to align their interest with those of Soul Society.

Espada: positive / negative / neutral. ━ because: As far as fighting beneath Aizen’s command, she disapproves. However, given the post-HM attempt at establishing relations between Hueco Mundo’s de facto ruler and Soul Society, there is a begrudging neutrality between their worlds for the time being. That said, Unohana was not opposed to healing Gantenbainne Mosqueda after arriving in Hueco Mundo, suggesting that she views Arrancar in general with as much autonomy as Humans and Shinigami.

Quincy: positive / negative / neutral. ━ because: Her prejudice against Quincies comes chiefly from their practice of eliminating souls vs cleansing them, creating an imbalance between the worlds, as well as Yhwach during the original Blood War. Prior to the TYBW, she was fairly neutral, if not perhaps somewhat pitying over their race for having stood and fallen against Soul Society. But she’s a firm believer that the Quincy genocide was a result of their own hubris; angels with wings of wax, etc etc. That said, she gets absolutely zero direct interaction with any Quincies during the TYBW, and I personally think that despite her stronger opinions, she’d be inclined to heal the likes of Bazz-B, Giselle, and Liltotto because they defected from the Wandenreich. It’s a whole nuanced thing.

YOUR MUSE’S VIEWS / OPINIONS ON THESE (IMPORTANT) PEOPLE ?

Aizen: positive / negative / neutral. ━ because: Treacherous reprobate, etc etc. All the obvious reasons. I don’t think she’d disapprove of Shunsui’s decision to free him though, only because drastic times call for drastic measures. If that weren’t the case, surely she wouldn’t have been pushed to finally teach Kenpachi Zaraki the Art of Killing.

Yhwach: positive / negative / neutral. ━ because: Other than the obvious stuff, him cutting down Yamamoto was something she reacted to negatively and viscerally so.

Mayuri: positive / negative / neutral. ━ because: His personality is infuriating, but she does find it hilarious to push his buttons and prod at his ego. She doesn’t agree with some of his crueler methods, but she really doesn’t have room to talk and in the end, it’s for the sake of the Soul Society.

Kurosaki: positive / negative / neutral. ━ because: INCREDIBLE, INSPIRING, SHOW-STOPPING, BRILLIANT. Really fond of the kid, really worried for the kid. She kind of wants to fight him.

Soul King: positive / negative / neutral. ━ because: While his origins are dubious and objectively horrific, his presence is necessary for the sake of the greater world.

CONGRATS, you managed till to the end, now tag your fellow bleach partners!

TAGGED BY: genuinely cant remember. it was prob either tom or hela TAGGING: anyone who hasn’t done this yet, feel free 2 steal!

#THE CURTAIN RISES / HEADCANON #MEME / ANSWERED #we live in a society...............................a soul society #whos ready to read some terrible shit

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whitehotharlots · 5 years ago

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So we’re just gonna straight up embrace conservatism?

A few months ago I came across the story of a group of young trans activists who wrecked up the opening of a feminist library in British Columbia. To avoid accusations of taking sides or whatever, here’s what the feminists had to say about it, and here’s what the trans activist kids had to say about it. (Direct link: https://www.facebook.com/notes/gag-gays-against-gentrification/response-to-vancouver-womens-library/379623995740078 )

Both sides agreed that the activists physically disrupted the opening of what was purported to be a feminist space, caused several hundred dollars worth of property damage, threatened physical violence against the library’s proprietors, and demanded that a dozen or so books be removed from the shelves.

I decided not to write about this. Firstly, because engaging with trans discourse in any way other than nodding politely guarantees you will be accused of Literal Murder, and I just don’t want to mess with that. More importantly, I felt I couldn’t say anything that wouldn’t amount to a simple, maybe even pedantic observation: namely, it’s kinda weird how we’ve begun to fear subjectively perceived, metaphorical “violence” so intensely that we’re willing to accept literal, physical violence as a response to it. It’s easy to make fun of people who say that using gendered pronouns is a direct cause of murder or whatever, but these people aren’t just obscure cranks anymore--they control the discourse; we’re living in the world they’ve built.

Here’s a sample of what I tried to write:

Here, in the interest of objectivity, it’s traditional for a writer to point out the tremendous amount of danger faced by those trans people who committed violent acts against the cis feminists and have demanded that the cis feminists radically alter their own space. A writer should re-cite the oft-cited statistic that over twenty trans people were murdered in 2015--and that, no doubt, at least half of them were beaten to death with a copy of Andrea Dworkin’s Pornography. And I don’t mean to be facetious: should a trans activist suggest that these books were being wielded as literal, physical weapons, there might at least be a smidgen of logic behind their demands. But such a connection, however tenuous, is never proffered. We are left instead with a vague implication by association: the trans activists understandably don’t like trans people being murdered and they also don’t like books they assume question the essentialist foundation of their self-understanding, therefore a responsible author will make sure to establish a sense that the former is indeed caused by the latter. Or, if it’s not a case of actual causation--since obviously it’s not and no one would ever be so daft as to suggest that it is--at the very least we should respect the trans activists’ sensitivities toward literature they find upsetting, seeing as they’re acting out of a sense of extreme fear that they at least believe to be justified. Criticizing them at lashing out would be like getting mad a cornered raccoon for showing its teeth.

Just… can you believe this? Honestly? Here, very real violence and property damage is excused simply by putting in the context of the emotional state of those who committed it. Can you imagine any parallel situation taking place in contemporary America? A black man would have a much more solid case in going down to his local police station and wrecking up the place. Police violence against black people is an actual, direct, and literal thing--no flimsy metaphors are required to explain it. If such a thing were to happen, however, the black guy would be killed or imprisoned and his actions would be condemned in all but the most radical of spaces (try to find a mainstream publication that supported Chris Dorner. You can’t). Or more on point: let’s say a group of radical zionists entered a store the specializes in classical music, so at to disrupt a talk about Wagner. They post threats on social media. They wreck merchandise. They tear down posters, shove some elderly classical enthusiasts, cause several hundred dollars worth of damage, and leave a manifesto demanding that certain naughty works be banned. Again: they’d most likely be arrested. They would find no defense within the mainstream press. Their sense of victimhood would certainly not be used as justification for their actions, and no serious person would yield to their demands that certain works of music be banned from stores.

So… yeah. I was having trouble not sounding dismissive. But since then other shit has gone down, and it’s dawned on me that this tendency to prize the metaphorical over the literal isn’t new. It’s very old. It is, simply put, the general grounding of the American conservative worldview. It just happens to be coming from woke people now.

For an example, take a look at a piece about trans activists vandalizing a rape crisis center with death threats. The vandalism was, of course, denounced on all sides. But check out the phrasing here:

Trans people face employment and housing barriers, Jenkins said, and the graffiti could be a product of a trans person’s pent up frustration. Vancouver Rape Relief, she said, is a visible organization at which to point a finger.

“A lot of the actions of Vancouver Rape Relief through exclusion of trans women I think are symbolic of society’s disdain for trans people generally,” she said.

“So I can understand that for someone who is having a really hard time generally, this is a symbol of everything that is wrong with the world that is treating me terribly — which is no excuse, but I can see how someone could get to that point.”

Just… fucking seriously? Again, can you imagine this kind of even handedness being afforded to any other marginalized group? The only time you see violence regarded in such an apologetic or celebratory manner is when cops and soldiers do it.

But, oh, it gets even weirder and stupider:

More graffiti adorns the sidewalks of Commercial Dr., further east from the Vancouver Rape Relief location. In support of trans people, the message “Trans women are women” appeared on sidewalks near Grandview Park earlier this summer.

Another message reads “Lesbians unite,” coupled with a double Venus symbol. Claire Ens, president of the Vancouver Dyke March and Festival Society, said the two Venus symbols are a coded threat to trans people.

“The two Venus symbols, that may seem innocent and to some even a call for lesbian rights and women-power, but in fact it is the opposite,” she said.

Two Venus symbols, side-by-side, is a larger symbol for “biological essentialism,” she said, a belief that peoples’ identities are determined by their genitals or chromosomes, which is inherently discriminatory to trans people who may have genitals that don’t match outdated ideas of what it means to be a man or a woman.

“The Venus symbols are meant as a warning sign to trans women, to state that trans women are not included nor welcomed, and is a perfect example of ... ‘dog whistling’ (because it is) innocent to those who aren’t in the know about it (but) harmful and hateful specifically to trans women,” she said.

Oh... oh dear.

I’m reminded of the time when I was in 8th grade and my best friend did some weird art project where he put an arrow through a George Jetson doll he won at the carnival and painted the wound with a red marker. His mom found the doll. She spoke with her evangelical busybody cunt friends at work, who informed her that the “ritualistic sacrifice” of stuffed animals was a surefire sign that the boy had been brainwashed by Satanists. She then had him involuntarily committed. A state official determined him to to be depressed but not under any demonic influence, and so he was released under the condition that he start going to cut-rate therapy, where yet another evangelical busybody cunt informed him that the doll was, in fact, a sign that at least one satan lived within him (possibly several) and advised his mother to throw out all of his cds and videogames and keep him under constant watch. Oddly, this did not help with my friends’ depression. Made it a lot worse, in fact. Kicked off about a decade of severe substance abuse. But that’s neither here nor there--the point is, he did something objectively harmless that a bunch of hateful conservatives found offensive, and demonizing and bullying him was a small price to pay to get him to stop doing said harmless-but-offensive things. He might not have meant the plush art project to be a sign of aggression. A dispassionate observer would most likely not regard it as such. But the subjective, spiritual harm suffered by his mother engendered a violent reaction, and the cruelly conservative social structures of our community prized her perceived victimhood over any actual harms, and so they therefore encouraged her to damage the boy so as to make herself feel more safe. Nobody wins. Everyone was worse off. But the woman got some momentary catharsis, and that’s what was important.

Uhh… shit. I was gonna try to connect this to something else, but I think maybe I made my point. If you don’t agree with me yet, you’re never going to. But just remember, pedantic as this argument may be, there’s a reason censorship has historically resided in the conservative purview. There’s also a reason why it used to be considered virtuous, in liberal spaces, to not regard your own tastes and pet peeves as moral issues that warranted vicious remediation. Conservatives are conservatives, regardless of their color of their skin, the people they like to fuck, or whether or not they regard themselves to embody the gender they were asigned at birth. Cruelty is likewise always cruel. A cunt is a cunt. And there’s nothing to be gained by denying these basic truths.

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horseyfuture · 5 years ago

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Lockdown Horrorscopes

Welcome, horrendous mortal, to your mind-rending Lockdown Horrorscopes. It has been some time since you last graced my tent with your questioning buttocks. No, do not cross my palm with silver, we use contactless now. Just press it on that bit of the window there. Excellent. Your payment has been accepted. Let us discover what the universe needs you to hear...

---

Aries: After many weeks of lockdown, you are beginning to have conversations with inanimate objects around the house. In the middle of a one-sided argument with the toaster, a small, flint-hard piece of green-tinged pitta bread joins the debate, taking the toaster’s side and calling you a “scruffy tossbag”. You may be hallucinating, though also, that pitta bread has been there QUITE A WHILE. The pitta is chewy, but stops talking after a while. A little time later the room becomes a little sloshy, like gravy in a bowl. The fruit bowl pipes up as you walk past. It calls you a wanker.

Taurus: To fend off the tedium, you decide to play a joyful round of “how many chairs can you put on a chair”, to which the answer turns out to be “six, before getting a face full of chair”. While bleeding gently onto a chair, you consider that future sources of entertainment might be more wisely centred around (say) pillows, or kittens, or candyfloss. You do not own any of these things, sadly, as you sold what you did have to get more chairs, very much failing to anticipate the sorts of items commonly found to be of use in a lockdown. Oh well. You sigh resignedly and begin to put a chair precariously on top of some other chairs.

Gemini: Having had more Skype calls with family than anybody can healthily defend, you decide to take a long, relaxing bath. Unfortunately, you are running low on soap. Also, you forgot to stock up on bubblebath last time you went to the shop. And water. Additionally, you do not own any towels. Or a bath. Or the room for a bath. A bathroom, if you will. Still, not to be held back by trifling inconveniences, you diligently strip off and scrub yourself vigorously all over, while sat naked on the kitchen floor. Eventually, the people who own the house return and a Series of Exciting Conversations follow.

Cancer: Because you are so wildly creative and unique, you decide that among your already proven range of wondrous skills, such as writing crap poetry, making crap fan art for mawkish period dramas and attaching small pieces of technical lego to a crap hat, you will blow the minds of your friends by becoming... a baker! Yes. This will mark you out as a trend setter. You carefully go to the shop, observing social distancing except when you aren’t which is always and buy ALLLLL the ingredients for bread making. Literally all of them. So nobody else can make bread. Returning home, you valiantly point your wild intellect at the problem and, with a little help from a BBC recipe guide: YOU MAKE BREAD. It is crap.

Leo: You receive an unexpected parcel. The parcel contains mostly lizards. As well as the lizards, there is a bright red jewel which sparkles enticingly. You discover that the jewel allows you to control the lizards. And also, to see through their eyes. You, furthermore, hear their lizardy thoughts, although to be fair, their minds are fairly quiet and their thoughts are mostly “Woohaar! I’m a lizard!” With your newfound powers, you decide you will finally be freed from your virus-laden lockdown. No longer will you be caged by a mere four walls. You send your lizard army forth to bring you new sights, sounds and experiences. Unfortunately, almost everything is shut and the outside world is pretty dull. After a bit, one of the lizards politely asks if they might have their minds back, to which you accede. They agree to pop round on Thursdays. They’re good lizards.

Virgo: The Gods smile upon you today. The Gods wink at you, also. The Gods send you a direct message asking you how you’re doing today and mention that you’re looking great in that recent profile photo. The Gods say they’re doing alright, you know, but feeling kinda lonely since Karen left, so hey, did you ever get back together with Steve? No? That’s a real shame, you were a sweet couple. The Gods ask if that means you’re still single, then? You are? Oh, baby, there ain’t no justice. What you need’s a real man. You sure do. You deserve one. Or maybe even better. The Gods wonder if you’ve ever made it with a deity. The Gods wonder how come you went so quiet. The Gods say aw, come on, don’t be like that. The Gods themselves go quiet for a while. The Gods send you unsolicited photographs of their genitalia. You block the Gods.

Libra: As you open your kitchen cupboard, a wizard appears before you and tells you that of the two remaining cans of soup, one of them contains not just soup but truly endless riches: the meaning of the universe and an infinite lifespan granted to the opener, with which to explore and enjoy the myriad beauties to be found in a boundless cosmos. In the other can: SUFFERING. Problematically, though, one of the cans is tomato soup from a fairly reputable brand and the other is leek and celeriac, which your weird aunt sent you about four years ago and seems to have been manufactured by ancient Welsh hippies. You go to open the tomato and the wizard winces and whistles through his teeth. You reach toward the leek and celeriac. The wizard smiles and waggles his eyebrows. Bugger this, you open the tomato, the wizard disappears and your arse immediately falls off. You have no regrets and the soup’s pretty good.

Scorpio: You are the twat that took all the toilet roll. Helpful. Aren’t you a good little pandemic pixie? Getting up at shithead o’clock in the morning and nicking all the stuff that your neighbours might have wanted. They suspect you. They saw you carrying your many, many bags past their windows and into your flat. But what they don’t know is that you’re not using it the way they imagine. You haven’t done a poo in over five weeks now. Not since you superglued your bum together. They’d think you were crazy, but you had to. To save the toilet roll for Greater Things. The pains come again, as your tummy heaves and you try to poop through a blocked up bum, but you breathe deeply and in time this passes. Now you are free to return to your great work. Your 20ft high pornographic sculpture of the Queen, made entirely from papier mache. Your Majesty looks down on you in erotic approval.

Sagittarius: Carnival tiiiiime! It’s carnival time! CARNIVAL TIME! Oh boy, oh boy, you can’t wait! You LOVE carnival time! You’ve been waiting so long, and they said you weren’t going to have carnival time because of the virus, but you weren’t gonna miss out! CARNIVAL TIIIME! There’s a strange knocking sound. That’s not usually part of carnival time. You follow the sound to the door, which you open gingerly. Who? Ah. OK. Right you are. I see. Yup. Yup. I will. No, you’re right. I’ll do that. I will. I’ll put it back. I thought you wouldn’t mind. It’s not a real one, it’s just a, no, OK, I’ll get rid of it. And the fish. I got it online. I’ll look after. OK, no, I understand. I know. I will. I’ll wipe it off. Yep. I will. Right away. Sorry. OK. Bye mom. So. Uhhh. Yep. Yeeeep yep. It is definitely not carnival time.

Capricorn: You begin to suspect that there is something going on with your neighbours next door. There are animal sounds late at night and you’re certain they have no pets. Sometimes you hear a tapping, it seems rhythmical. Almost like Morse code. How you wish you’d remembered the symbols they taught you for that when you were at school. One morning, you wake up and sit bolt upright as the sounds of a plaintive, strangled scream are quickly drowned out by a guttural groan of ecstasy, as if something huge and ancient had been satisfied in a way that only demons would commend. Sullen red illumination fades from the windows and all becomes silent once more. You resolve to ask the vicar if he’d consider wearing headphones on his Zoom calls in future.

Aquarius: You decide that you will spend the week not wearing a bra. Why not? Why shouldn’t you at least enjoy some of the more free and easy aspects of long term self-isolation. After the week, though, you sort of miss the bra, so you start wearing it again for a few days. Yeah, actually, this is kind of better. And if this is better, how good would two bras be? You try it out. Feels amazing. Why didn’t you try this before? How could you not have realised that the problem wasn’t tight bras or ill-fitting bras, or always having to wear a bra, the problem was: Not ENOUGH bras. You immediately add a third bra. Holy crap, this is the life. Five or six bras in, you’re starting to slow down a bit, not least because of the underwiring, but you feel incredible, and the SUPPORT is off the chart! The door bell rings. You clatter to answer it, now a somewhat difficult proposition given all the bras. Delivery guy leaves a large parcel on the floor to maintain social distancing, which makes picking it up a little tricky. Again. All the bras. You hobble inside and manage to pop open the parcel. Ah yes. More bras. Perfect.

Pisces: Day 37. You miss your partner. It’s been weeks now and while the occasional saucy video call has kept some semblance of intimacy together, you have needs and an itch you cannot truly scratch. Your hamster runs noisily in its catch, the wheel squeaking. The hamster gets more exercise than you these days. If only you hadn’t sold that treadmill. You feel a kinship to the hamster, tinged with guilt. Now you yourself are confined in your house, you feel bad for locking up little Hammy. In fact, you decide to let Hammy out. You share a strange kinship with Hammy now, fellow prisoners in life’s lonely cage. So lonely. Just you and Hammy. All alone. Nobody else around. Poor little Hammy. All alone, just like you. Day 38. You look at Hammy. Hammy looks at you. Tired, but loving, Hammy’s eyes seem to say a lot of things to you and you feel a different kind of guilt now, looking into them, albeit mixed with gratitude. You put an extra helping of food in the cage, fill up the water bottle and think about where you find yourself in these strange times. You glance back up at the cage and think. “They’re going to make me marry that hamster”.

---

YES! The vision is complete. The skies briefly whirl, the oceans dance then subside and the stars cease their jagged oscillations abruptly and settle down with some snacks to watch Netflix. You have heard the universe’s dark narrative and your brain structures are indelibly marked with what must come. Now go. And tell nobody you visited me today. The police regretfully do not consider this to be classed as an essential journey.

#lockdown #horrorscopes #horrorscope #virus #covid

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fly-pow-bye · 7 years ago

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Powerpuff Girls 2016 - Home, Sweet Homesick

Written by: Haley Mancini, Jake Goldman

Written and Storyboarded by: Alicia Chan

Directed by: Nick Jennings, Bob Boyle

I'd make a joke about how I'm sick of something here, but I don't think it would fit.

This episode starts with a bad guy committing a crime, and the Powerpuff Girls coming in to save the day. Seems like an ordinary Powerpuff Girls episode if such a beginning wasn't so rare in this reboot. In this case, it's Reboot Jojo robbing the bank on his hover-scooter, causing some property damage along the way.

Of course, the Powerpuff Girls come in and beat him up. Surprisingly, not only does this scene exist, not only does it not have any hit flashes, but he's lying in a bruised state in the end of it! Sure, some of the hits look like Jojo is selling it too early, but baby steps.

The Professor smoothly drives his car where this carnage is taking place, and tells the girls it’s almost time for a two week stay at Camp Big Dipper. Buttercup shrugs, calling it a nerd camp. The nerdy little red smart person that apparently isn't as good at coding or math than her sisters, on the other hand, is super excited! To her, it's going to be a huge academic institution, with all of the greatest minds of tomorrow! Maybe there's even going to be some pop quizzes!

They do this entire conversation while they’re still punching Reboot Jojo to the ground, his body a lightly bruised mess. Reboot Jojo doesn’t seem to mind too much; it's just a normal day for him. He even takes the time to call the camp a "super nerd camp" after Blossom explains what it is. This doesn’t end well for him, as I'm sure she'll call him a bad monkey.

Or she could break his hand, complete with a bone cracking sound! This whole scene seems to exist only to show that, indeed, this is a show about kindergarten first grader school-without-grader superheroines who fight crime. The rest of the episode doesn't really do that, and with all the Monster Punch Girls Down and Superheroine In Distress situations, that's not necessary bad.

After Blossom makes Rorschach proud, and a terrible impression of an opera singer singing "SPACE CAMP", the Professor and the Puffs arrive at Camp Big Dipper. The Professor won't be going with them, much to the chagrin of Bubbles, who practically turns into a demon demanding he'd come with them. They throw away this joke pretty much immediately, for this episode’s benefit, as Buttercup carries Bubbles out of the scene. The Professor tells the girls that they can call or text him any time.

While Bubbles is still sad from the previous scene and has to be carried by a bored Buttercup who thinks this is all "lame", Blossom can’t wait to check out everything in this space camp! She hopes it's going to be full of learning and advanced rocket science, inspired by her idol of the week, Dr. Wendy Q. Dallen. Last name and a middle initial. I don't know if she's supposed to be a reference to anything.

Unfortunately for Blossom, and only Blossom, the attractions are all fun fare for the kiddies: a jumpy house with a moon theme, a bumper car ride where the cars are shaped like Mars rovers, and a petting zoo with animals that are made to look like aliens. There's even an attraction that just involves a guy in a spacesuit with a sign that says "kick the moon man". The show itself takes it time to point out how rediculous this is.

Bubbles and Buttercup immediately start liking camp now that it's not as much of a nerd camp as Blossom made it out to be. Blossom isn't liking it, and wants to talk to the camp director about how everyone is goofing off.

Camp Director Joey: Did someone say GOOFING OFF?!

Because the show hasn't established enough that this space camp is lame to Blossom, we get Joey, a jokey camp director voiced by Robbie "Cousin Oliver" Rist. At least, I think; the credits only credit him as an additional voice, but they don't say who voiced him. He looks like a cross between David Bowie and Donny the Hell-Horn. More like the latter than the former. Outside of one scene in particular, when this guy is on screen, you want him off. Even Bubbles and Buttercup realizes this eventually, so it's probably intentional.

Blossom literally gets thrown into the audience of a laser light show with this guy talking about how everyone is ready to have lots of moon fun! The reboot goes out of its way to do the most predictable joke they can do with that, though sparing us the actual butt. Blossom booes him asking for real science, and Joey outright asks who's booing him. Bubbles and Buttercup try to save face by saying she meant boo-yah. Yeah, I'm sure that's what I mean when I boo this show.

At night, we see Blossom sitting on the porch of the cabin they're going to stay in, sad that everyone is having fun but she'd rather not have fun. She decides to text the Professor about how everyone is having fun but she'd rather not have fun. Unfortunately, there's no good cell phone reception at the camp, ruining both of Professor Utonium's suggestions.

A week passes by, and Blossom has done nothing but read her Dr. Wendy Q. Dallen book. They really put a lot of importance on that name, because she's the reason why Blossom looked forward to this place. It's not another co-worker insert as far as I can tell, which is a shock. Bubbles and Buttercup show up with glitter crafts and garbage crafts, respectively, and Buttercup tells Blossom that she should just have fun.

Camp Director Joey: Did someone say FUN?!

Did someone say running gag? He talks about a big carnival, but Blossom is not interested. That sounds like too much fun. She wonders why Dr. Wendy Q. Dallen would even want to be associated with this place with its fun and games.

Blossom wanders around to find a locked road to an abandoned rocket museum. She opens the doors, and she finally finds things that she's interested in: models of rockets! She even finds a life-size scale Apollo rocket model. She can go inside it like a real rocket! It even has all the buttons like a real rocket! It's just like a real rocket!

Blossom decides, in this lifelike simulation, to press the buttons to launch a rocket. Blossom even outright talks to herself about how she read about Apollo rockets, so people don't need to ask how a 6 year old knows how to launch one.

It turns out, this isn't a fake rocket, it's an actual rocket donated by NASA. She is instantly strapped in, and gets to experience 3gs of force as the rocket escapes the Earth's atmosphere. I guess nobody was really interested in that rocket museum. One would think someone would say "what does this button dooo?" and cause the camp to get sued for launching someone's kid into space.

The other kids see this rocket launch, and just see it as something cool. They even get the parts of the rocket that fall off raining on them later in the episode, and nobody wanted to investigate.

Blossom initally loves seeing the sights of space, until seconds later, when she realizes it's just so lonely out there.

She looks out the window of the rocket, and she starts hallucinating a Space Joey. Just like in that classic movie, RocketMan, Blossom is clearly going nuts from the isolation. Soon, she'll be making paintings using the ketchup and mustard on the ceiling. Nah, I'm just kidding.

Being the David Bowie-like person that he is, Space Joey starts to sing a song. Of course, it's a parody of the David Bowie's Space Oddity, right down to starting with "can you hear me, Captain Bloss?" To be honest...it's really good. I am not kidding, this is one of the few legitimately good moments this show has brought me.

We have scenes of Blossom slowly flying around in the lonely rocket. We have some good singing from Space Joey; it helps that Robbie Rist is also a musician. We even have Space Bubbles and Space Buttercup show up to tell her the fun they're having back on Earth. Hopefully this reboot can give us more of this in the future.

The screen shows an old video, not triggered by anything but plot convienence, showing Dr. Wendy Q. Dallen at the same space camp in her younger years. Blossom sees that it's always been a fun camp, and that it inspired her to further her advancements in astronomy. This reinterates the message of this episode: there's a time for learning, and a time for fun. This is actually the same lesson Painbow had, and this episode can't be further in both content and quality.

With the song and video, Blossom finally realizes the lesson of the episodes, and decides to go home. She flies the rocket back to Earth.

Blossom is reunited, who reveal that they missed her so much, they read her Dr. Wendy Q. Dallen book. Joey shows up again, apparently not worried at all that a kid just wandered into an abandoned place and went into a rocket that just flew into space. It's a good thing she was able to survive in a vaccuum, even if she never needed that ability! Buttercup tells him not to ruin the moment.

The episode ends with a pan to the stars, with some shooting stars. Hopefully they're wishing there's no monster attacks while they're at camp. Considering how rare that seems to be, it's likely they don't need to make those wishes. Maybe they should wish for more episodes like this.

Does the title fit?

Not really. Bubbles is initially homesick because the Professor isn’t coming with her, but that’s as close as that title gets. Blossom is more sick of the camp not being as “scientifically accurate” as she thought it was. There was a moment where Blossom looked at a picture of the Professor and her with sad eyes, but that’s as close as we get.

The TV Guide description is a flat out lie, too; Blossom never worries about her schoolwork in this episode.

How does it stack up?

This episode has an actual good song number, and a good use of a lesson that was done extremely poorly before.

The only issue is that it's not really a episode that requires superheroes. As said before, it's not a big issue. A lot of the worst aspects about this reboot revolves around the show's premise. The one scene that does follow that premise is practically unneeded in the episode, but may have been needed when it comes to the reboot as a whole.

I was originally going to give up on this series after the Season 1 finale, but I decided to keep going. I decided to keep going because, well, it wasn’t right to stop at People Pleaser. There’s two kinds of episodes that don’t make me regret that decision: awesomely bad episodes like Snow Month that give me lots of material to work with, and episodes that are surprisingly decent. Yes, they exist, and this is one of them.

Next week, the show will take a look back to the past...and probably not learn anything.

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#fpb ppg 2016 #fpb reviews #ppg 2016 #powerpuff girls #cartoon network

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