#twink nelson <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[thebaffledcaptain]

for my mutuals interested in my England Exploits…. finally got to the national maritime museum today (saved the best for last), made a beeline for the nelson’s navy exhibit, and felt like I was seeing a celebrity

my takeaways:

it never really struck me how small of a person nelson was… it was such an experience to realize I was essentially standing at eye level with him while I was looking at his uniform

there was, however, a disappointing lack of Homoerotic Detail during the entire section dedicated to his death (which is to say they entirely failed to mention Kiss Me Hardy). they also just didn’t mention the gruesome fate of his body between his death and his funeral (which is to say they skipped the fun part)

I have so many mixed feelings about this man. what a guy

the 1787 uniform remains my favorite pattern but the 1795 pattern is a very close second

james clark ross’s sword! the one he held in the Hot Portrait!!

twink nelson

[skitskatdacat63]

hi!

so i’m really new to f1 and idk who is flavio :( can you pls pls pls explain me?

Yes of course!!

Simply put, Flavio is probably the epitome of shadyness and criminality in F1. He was involved in two of F1's biggest scandals in the past 20 years: spygate and crashgate, the latter moreso. This doesn't have to do with F1, but I must mention that he was literally a fugitive at one point, bcs he committed fraud in his home country of Italy. But while he was "on the run", he also did really well at setting up Benetton franchises in the US, and was promoted to the team principal of Benetton(also known as Renault and now, Alpine.)

Soon after he became TP of Benetton, he was able to swoop in and sign the newly debuted Michael Schumacher, who then won 2x WDCs for the team. However, Michael was just his test-run golden boy twink, but omg their pics are still crazy:

His true golden boy is none other than Fernando Alonso. He had met Fernando in 1999, when Fernando was still a teenager. He then signd Fernando on as Renault's test driver in 2002, and then as a full driver in 2003. They proceeded to win 2x WDCs and WCCs together!

At the 2008 Singapore Grand Prix, Fernando's teammate, Nelson Piquet Jr. crashed into a wall, causing a safety car, leaving Fernando in ideal conditions to win the race(from p15!) Piquet Jr. later alleged, in 2009 almost a full year after the fact, that the Renault team had told him to crash, in order to give Fernando an advantage. Flavio originially denied this and accused Piquet Jr. of trying to blackmail the team into keeping him on. This sparked an investigation by the FIA into Renault, which ended in Renault being charged with conspiracy. They did not fight the charge, and Flavio subsequently left the team. He was then banned indefinitely from all F1 events(as well as any other FIA-sanctioned series' events.) However, he disputed this ban and sued the FIA not much later, and the ban was overturned by a French court. He agreed to not return to the sport until at least 2011, but had said he would not return to F1. In 2022, he returned as an ambassador of the sport.

In the original charges brought against him, the FIA had declared that any driver he managed would have their super licenses revoked(however this too was overturned,) but I think it's important to note how many well known drivers he managed. He managed drivers such as Mark Webber, Jarno Trulli, Nelson Piquet Jr and Heikki Kovalainen. And he still manages Fernando to this very day.

But as of today, he has been hired as an executive advisor to Alpine. You know, Alpine, the team that dismissed him over crashgate 14 years ago? So we'll have to see how that goes. Honestly I feel like it could either go great or cause Alpine to become a bigger trashfire than ever, but who knows! He's both renowned for managing a team that won 4x wdc and 3x wcc over the course of his tenure, but also renowed for being like the biggest super villian fraud in recent F1. I, however, welcome this new role, I think it will be fun, I respect his game <3

[carol-effing-danvers]

This ask game for non-MCU (but still live action) Marvel please! Whether you split that to do Sony Marvel, Netflix Marvel and All Other Marvel each separately is fine, or you can do them together

Hello, sweetheart! 

Shit. Wow. Okay this was harder than I expected - thank you for not forcing me to do the ENTIRE Marvel cast or I would be very fucked right now

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most) 

NETFLIX - Matt Murdock aka Daredevil, Daredevil / Jessica Jones, Jessica Jones - I mean, yeah. this is pretty apparent from my AO3. 

OTHER - Daisy Johnson, Agents of SHIELD - I have such an exploitable weakness for adorable father/daughter dynamics, badass females, and found families and this character punches me in all of the above. (And this is also the reason my second favorite character on AoS is Melinda May.)

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

NETFLIX - Frankline ‘Foggy’ Nelson, Daredevil - the singing? the quips? the dorkiness? the bribery? I LOVE-

OTHER - Tyrone Johnson aka Cloak, Cloak & Dagger - because he’s a bay-byyyyyyy 😭😭😭😭💕💕💕 this boy is so pure and good plsssss - also there’s something so tender about the writers giving this young black man the space to be soft and kind but also furiously, righteously (and sometimes unhealthily) angry? yesss, it’s perfect 👌

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

NETFLIX - Jessica Jones, Jessica Jones - most people acknowledge Matt’s greatness (especially now that *that thing* happened) and more people are getting into the NMCU but not enough people know of the Head Bitch’s majesty, and this Must Be Corrected

OTHER - Leopold Fitz, Agents of SHIELD - I am not too ashamed to admit that I have A Thing for Fitz with facial scruff. Something about a hairy twink is just - MMMM MMM GOOD. 

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

NETFLIX - Malcolm Ducasse, Jessica Jones - I have loved this boy ever since the peanut butter scene and every scene after that only made me love him more - even if he acts like a fucking dumbass sometimes. As of season 3, I have yet to have my theory that he’s somewhat in love with Jess disproved, either.

OTHER - Evita Fusilier, Cloak & Dagger - I support her AND her new non-binary bisexual morally ambiguous god-spouse.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

Obligatory Loki mention, since he now has a show, but if we’re being real-

MAYHEM (Brigid O’Reilly), Cloak & Dagger - Listen. One of the biggest reasons that I stan this show so hard (beyond the entire sense that all of its characters have been lovingly realized and fleshed out in the writing) is its willingness to have complex and not necessarily ‘likable’ female characters in a traditional sense and I’m sorry but...like...she may have been right??? She ain’t wrong, that’s all I’m saying.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

Just one reigning king:

Franklin ‘Foggy’ Nelson, Daredevil - A) Foggy looks soft and squishy and he will be the first to tell you that he is absolutely not combat ready or even combat adjacent, but when shit gets hard, he’s repeatedly shown to be shockingly good under pressure and I would love more of that and B) this would drive Matt absolutely round the twist. Truly, he could not handle this, and Charlie Cox’s acting for this character is at its best when Matt Murdock is at the brink of his sanity. 

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

Kilgrave, Jessica Jones - you know why. 

Also Elektra Natchios, Daredevil. Yep, that’s what I said. I have thoughts on her that would get me thrown out of this fandom, and so that’s that about that. 

[fishylife]

Street Dance of China S4 Ep 3

(I’m having problems with Tumblr not saving my posts...)

- Oh no people are going to start getting eliminated! :o Well, I’m still really glad that we had two whole episodes of people just dancing and having fun and getting the opportunity to showcase who they are and how they dance.

- This question just occurred to me, but where do people look when they watch dance performances? As I watched the Go Go Brothers, I was thinking to myself, “Where do I look? If I look at one of them, I might miss what the other Brother is doing!” Just my musings lol.

- I am super shallow but people tripping makes me laugh, so yes, Nelson accidentally tripping did make me chuckle. (+ Rochka’s reaction)

- Yibo and Yixing discussing the SDOC theme song. It made me laugh because the lyrics are kind of hype but Yibo and Yixing aren’t exactly the most facially expressive people lol.

- After every performance Henry’d be like “let’s collaborate!!!!!!” Han Geng finally stepped in being like aight Henry you gotta take it easy on the recruitment because we’ve literally only seen three performances. I’m still not really sure of the format of the show from now on, so I’m not sure if they form new teams afterwards.

- Yixing was so guilty about not giving Bouboo a vote.

- Rochka’s shock @ Boubou not getting four votes.

- He’s ashamed.

- I think if a dancer gets less than 4 votes, then other dancers are allowed to challenge them for a spot to advance, but whoever loses is eliminated out of the tournament, so you have to be super confident to challenge. And if a dancer only gets 1 or 2 votes, they are eliminated.

- Yibo asked Rochka why he wouldn’t challenge Bouboo and Rochka said he’d never go against his teacher/big brother v.v They exchanged hearts but then Rochka pretended to throw the heart away and crush it lol.

- While I was expecting a bit more from Bouboo, I don’t think his challenger JC Jun was better than him. JC Jun was kind of wobbly, and I think his dance didn’t match the music as well as Bouboo’s did.

- Yixing had his head down when he voted for Ibuki too, so I think he just gets nervous about voting.

- Henry wanted to say that Ibuki was like lightning but he said the word for a flashing light/disco light and Han Geng wanted to give him shit for it.

- Yixing said that he thought AC’s waacking almost felt like krump.Yixing said that if he was to collaborate with AC, AC should do the arm swing, and Yixing would do the waacking lol. I am all for seeing Yixing doing more dance styles! Not gonna lie, I think he’d look cute doing waacking.

- Ye Yin’s performance was really nice! The music was unique and the way he danced, with the tap dance and folk-like elements really suited it.

- Rochka said he wants to know Ye Yin more and said they also have the same smile.

- Xiao Jie said he’d never battle Ye Yin but he got peer pressured by the captains into freestyling to Ye Yin’s self-produced song lol.

- To show face, you know? The entire time he was like “but this doesn’t count, okay?!!!!” since he wasn’t actually challenging Ye Yin, and it was just for funsies.

- The judges were a bit troubled by Xiaoming’s performance because at the end, he was supposed to fall but his fall wasn’t coordinated with the sound effect in the music. Xiaoming was like yeah, it’s pretty difficult but I’m hoping that my challenger wouldn’t be able to get it too and Yixing was laughing his goose laugh. But Xiaoming was eliminated with zero votes in the end.

- Kelo and Uwa had a horror mental hospital-themed dance which was interesting. Kelo said it was based on a nightmare he had as a child.

- Yang Kai wasn’t impressed though. He said he’d performed something similar with Liangliang before. He felt that Kelo and Uwa were performing but not really dancing. I can see where he’s coming from. Kelo and Uwa got three votes.

- Xiaohai ended up challenging them. He used the wheelchair too but like...somehow his expression just makes us unable to not laugh.

- I think he did really well considering he’d only heard the music once. And he returned to the wheelchair at the end of the performance lmfao

- Apparently when Xiaohai was looking up at the beginning, he was asking Li Yulong (who I assume is the person in charge of the music) for music cues but Li Yulong just laughed at him lol.

- Yibo basically said that Kelo and Uwa’s performance felt a bit abrupt in the story telling side, and that there weren’t really highs and lows to their performance.

- Rochka was talking crap about Bouboo behind his back and Yibo tattled which resulted in Rochka getting whacked in the face.

- Zyko taught Yibo and Rochka how to do his fancy leg moves.

- Yixing talking krump with Auju. Auju was like you’re really good for someone who’s only been learning for a year, but then Yixing was like, I practise 6 hours a day and Auju was like ?!?!

- Zyko + Henry (with Henry’s infamous “getting down while playing violin” move)

- Poppin’C introduced himself, saying he was from Italy and Switzerland, and Yibo and Yixing were thinking of all the things from Italy they knew. Yibo was like “...Valentino Rossi...” and Yixing was like “....pizza.....” These two spacey twinks istg.

- Anyway, Poppin’C’s performance was nice. Not only were his moves clean and impressive, but he also expressed the lyrics through his dance.

- Rochka fanboying over Poppin’C’s dance :P At one point, the lyrics were about hearts, and Poppin’C did some moves where he made a heart and Rochka here is saying how cute it was.

- Poppin’C said he missed his daughter and everybody’s like ?? a baby??? :3 :3 :3

- Also, I saw Uwa in the audience, so I think that the eliminated contestants get to continue watching.

- Poppin’C said that before, he was more fierce, but now that he has a daughter, he’s a little smoother and sweeter :3 Also he was describing that the singer’s voice in the song made his skin feel like chicken and everybody was like ??? Luckily Yixing saved the day lol. In Chinese, goose bumps are called “chicken pimples” or something like that.

- Bozi was next. In his introduction, Bozi said he was from Guangzhou, and maybe that’s why it sounded like so many people in the audience were pronouncing 波子 in Cantonese.

- Eleven said something very interesting about B-boys. He said that in their profession of dance, they don’t fear b-boys who can do tricks, but they fear b-boys who can listen to music. I think it’s a reference to the fact that b-boys are often doing their own thing and disregard the music, which makes sense. Sometimes b-boys are closer to gymnasts because they are so focused on the spins and other really athletic moves they do. But because their moves are so difficult, they sometimes don’t move to the music which is supposed to be the point of dancing.

- Bozi passed with 4 votes. And he did a bit of krump at the beginning, which Yixing admitted he fell for haha. Bozi said that Eleven helped him choreograph that part, so it’s Eleven who knows Yixing well >3

- The director asked Bozi who he thought his biggest b-boy rival on the show was. Of course, we all thought he was going to say Lil Kev, but he ended up saying Xiaoji and Xiaoji was like ?? me?? Bozi’s reasoning was that he’s more troubled by dancers with a different style from him because he doesn’t know how to beat them. From the small clips they showed, I think Xiaoji has a more animated style, whereas Bozi is more serious and reserved.

- Acky-san cheering on MT Pop lol. (”Embarrassing dad at baseball game” mode activate)

- MT Pop has really impressed me in the competition so far though. The way he moves is so cool and creative. I think he purposely goes for a kind of...monster vibe? Like he often has this creepy smile on his face lol. He’s not only dancing, but he’s using popping techniques to change how he moves entirely, including simple things like walking or how he turns his head. I think MT Pop is my favourite contestant.

- He said the monster from Pan’s Labrynth inspired this dance. So I guess I was kind of right that he does draw inspiration from monsters and other creatures.

- Low key mad at Han Geng for not giving MT Pop his vote lol. Geng-ge said he wanted to give someone a chance to challenge. Of all people, why MT Pop?? I don’t want him to goooo.

- Henry wanted to try doing the voiceover for the challenger and Han Geng indulged his overdramatic ass.

- Baby Dolphin challenged. He had some cool moves at the beginning, but I think he fell apart a bit towards the end, based on the judges’ reactions (as we didn’t see the full performance). Plus, I think MT Pop’s approach to dancing is just too unique and interesting to eliminate at this point.

- Kabamba had an interesting performance that had African and Latin influences, with big and energetic movements. Tianci challenged but he went with a general hip hop approach which did not suit the music at all. (I looked up Kabamba. Her name is Latrice Kabamba, but she also goes by 林珊娜 on her social media, which is why she’s sometimes called Nana on the show).

- Acky-san was repeating everything that people were saying around him. Stuff like jiayou!! and other words of encouragement. Dianmen who was sitting next to him was just lol’ing.

- Ma Xiaolong was performing to a song called 棋 and this word usually refers to any kind of board game. Ma Xiaolong’s first moves looked like he was putting pieces on a board and you just know that kind of stuff draws Yixing’s attention right away.

- I think Kenken’s style of dance is the kind of dance that the general public would really enjoy. Whereas some kinds of dance don’t really appeal to people who aren’t into dance, I think Kenken’s kind of dance will attract both the dance-conscious people as well as those who aren’t. I definitely got that vibe from him in the dance that he choreographed, and also his individual performance.

- Not even gonna question this. Perfection. Rochka catboy here we go.

- Okay, I agree with Colin’s performance not making the cut. Based on his introduction, he was supposed to be a popping expert, but his dance didn’t showcase that. His dance was more of a contemporary dance piece, but while we’ve had performances similar to that, his choreography didn’t stand out in comparison. After his performance he had a bit of a cry. Yixing mentioned that it was hard to judge because of the emotional aspect. But admittedly, this emotional stuff is usually the reason why I don’t like competition shows. It was revealed that Colin had lost his grandfather. Now, I’m going to sound cold, but I don’t like it when sob stories are brought in, because it makes us feel bad when we don’t like a piece of art that comes from very pure intentions. Yixing’s reasoning for not giving a vote was that he felt that the emotions overshadowed the dance, which is a problem because this is a show about dance. Han Geng’s reasoning was that he felt that the skill level could have been better. Yibo was quite moved by the performance, and I think that’s why he gave his vote to Colin.

- We got a preview for this week’s hotpot show.

- Yixing and his emotional support giant cup

- Lots of laughing (including Yixing laughing) which is good for the soul

[chivalricmaiden]

My Top Ten and Bottom Ten South Park Faves!

This is just my insignificant take but here it is anyway. They're not in any particular order just think top ten and bottom ten bc I can't rank them specifically.

My Top 10 South Park Faves!

1) Jimmy Valmer The best character in the entire show I take no criticism he deserves the entire world. More screentime please!

2) Wendy Testaburger She is beauty, she is grace, she'll kick you in the face. Legit tired of seeing so much Wendy hate, this girl is the absolute best. She's the school's #1 activist and always looking out for her friends.

3) Kenny McCormick Because everybody loves Kenny. He's such a loyal and considerate friend. Plus the way he takes care of his little sister? That's just way too sweet. My muffled egg child is adorable.

4) Henrietta Biggle Superior goth. Need I say more?

5) Scott Malkinson HE! NEEDS! MORE! ATTENTION! Scott is always thrown to the side whether its by the kids of South Park or the fandom. He is an innocent little bean who must be loved.

6) Butters Stotch Resident cute yet evil cinnamon roll. He looks sweet but he's got a dark side and I love him for that.

7) Tolkien Black Legit one of the only rational, nice kids in the town and we have to appreciate him for staying like that

8) Craig Tucker My young homosexual i-don't-give-a-f/ck son

9) Ike Broflovski Don't kick the baby >:(

10) PC Principal Okay don't hate on me for this but Principal Victoria was so boring. I'm glad he replaced her because this guy never fails to make me laugh. While I support a lot of his beliefs he reminds me of those twitter softies who get offended at everything and it's a great parody. And the king's ideology made Creek canon so um, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

My Bottom 10 South Park Faves

1) Eric Cartman Obviously he's the worst person to ever grace that show. I hate him for his insane racist rambles, sexist behavior and ableist actions. But really, his awfully wrong moral code and antics are what make the show so funny to watch. I love him so much but I hate him too and that's the beauty of it. He's carrying South Park on his back ya'll.

2) Randy Marsh SHARON DESERVES BETTER WHAT THE HECK IS THIS MESS OF A HUSBAND. I swear she's the only reasonable adult left in town, Randy is the worst. He's bringing the whole family down and making them all miserable with his antics. Not to mention stealing away screentime from the kids too.

3) Mr. Garrison This dude went from a horrible person to an absolute atrocity. He was an awful teacher; It was an absolute pain seeing him get so much screentime. I was bored to death watching him. Ms. Nelson was the best teacher the kids ever had and it's such a shame she died.

4) Stephen Stotch #FreeButters

5) Gerald Broflovski Okay, why are all the adults in South Park the absolute worst? He completely wrecked his family and the entire world with his trolling and he gets off scotfree? Like what is this?

6) Towelie This high as a kite twink...

7) Mr. Hankey Come on, he's crap. Both metaphorically and literally.

8) The Whites I collectively put them in one single row lol. Jason if you could see your family now I know you'd be ashamed. I'm sorry buddy.

9) Bebe Stevens I really don't know how to explain this at all but she lowkey angers me sometimes

10) Kyle Broflovski Ya'll gonna flame me for putting him here, I know. Occasionally he's super great and I go: "Yes King, step on it!" But other times I just find him a whiny hypocritical prick.

[sweetiet]

tag 9 people you’d like to know better

I was tagged by @chiiizakura thank you !

favourite colour: black ( i know you heard that a lot but this is just a ordinary colour :d)

top 3 fav ships:

1. Rae Earl and Finn Nelson from My Big Fat Diary

2. Tony Stark and Steve Rogers from MCU 

3. Castiel and Dean Winchester from Supernatural 

 lipstick or chapstick: nude lipstick but i dont wear a makeup everyday so i go with a chapstick

last song: Billie Eilish ft Khalid : Lovely 

last movie: Captain MArvel ( bc MCU own my ass :D)

currently reading: Nothing :d 

And so I’ll tag : @baseball-and-hockey04 , @sofisadisaster, @godknowsimtaylored, @fhujami, @puckyeahtylerennis, @ige-jinjja-naya, @whos-this-twink

i know i didnt tag 9 people but i dont really know a lot of people on this site so this is it : d

[rkoradiopictures]

I posted 20,605 times in 2022

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Blogs I reblogged the most:

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@aslaanjade

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I tagged 19,007 of my posts in 2022

Only 8% of my posts had no tags

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Longest Tag: 107 characters

#when he asked to kiss nick i was like broooo you are braver than i could ever be putting yourself out there

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

373 notes - Posted June 21, 2022

#4

See the full post

537 notes - Posted September 23, 2022

#3

See the full post

2,100 notes - Posted January 11, 2022

#2

Nick & Charlie in The Heartstopper Yearbook by Alice Oseman

2,416 notes - Posted October 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Elle & Tao in The Heartstopper Yearbook by Alice Oseman

2,893 notes - Posted October 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[corpsegirlforever]

Roasting My Friend Over Her Male Interests

@mal-0‘s crushes: Bang, taneleer tivan, en dwi gast, julian slink, mayuri kurotsuchi, cable, beast, dedan, morbius the living vampire, loki, magneto, damien from dream daddy, challenger, general grevious, two face, scarecrow, mr freeze, both hannibal lecters and ebony maw

Bang: Oh my god. I am fucking traumatized. This is the most muscular twink of an old man I have ever fucking seen. His muscles have muscles. This dude is so fucking ripped that if he flexed, it would hit you in the eye.  However, he’s also weirdly fucking skinny. 0/10

Tivan: Dude, what the fuck. He’s just a pretty boy stranded in the Deep South of Space. The dude went crazy from not being able to moisturize and so he looks like he’s a million fucking years old. He isn’t even that interesting from a design point, he looks like every old rich pretty boy ever but with shittier clothing. 0/10

En Dwi Gast: Holy shit, why would you ever thirst for 616 Grandmaster!? Motherfucker looks like a cyan dildo some old woman glued her pubes to before sticking it in the dishwasher. He’s an asshole that doesn’t even really do anything, and dresses like a blind Jeff Gold Bloom. However, he was once played by Jeff Goldbloom, which earns points. 2/10

Julian Slink: Oh wow, how original. Julian is just fucking Jeff The Killer but with better class and marketed towards adults instead of twelve year olds. He dresses like a Steampunk villain who is high and also horny. Half his scenes have him brutally murdering people and the other half are just him being a loveable dumbass. If it wasn’t for this fact he would be stupid as hell. 5/10

Mayuri Kurotsuchi: What the ever loving fuck. I want to pour bleach down my eyes now before stabbing myself in the head to forget this dude’s fucking face. He looks like a fucking JoJo Stand that got face fucked by a magical blender before applying an entire bottle of lotion to the wounds, when suddenly a kid hits him in the head with two ice cream cones. 0/10

Cable: Oh wow, how original. The most generic looking silver fox ever. He’s muscular and he has white hair. That’s everything interesting about Cable. Oh wait, now he has a robot arm and a yellow eye! Now he can totally be an interesting character! 1/10

Beast: Furry bait. 0/10

Dedan: What in the ever loving fuck is this. What the fuck. Did someone drop you on the head as a child, and upon hitting the floor a demon also possessed you before getting exorcized when a crucifix stabbed you in the temple??? You have to be insane to like this fucker. Both his claws and his mouth would mutilate you during sex, and he looks like the kind of fucker who would do it just for fun. Also, he dresses like a bitch. 0/10

Morbius: Fucking Jared Leto looking ass. The whitest bitch to ever love. Do you have a biting kink or something? Of fucking course you do. He looks like he doesn’t wash his hair or brush his teeth and eats three rotting rats a day. He looks like a gay Dracula with erectile dysfunction and autoerotic fixiation. However, he is a vampire. 1/10

Loki: Oh wow, you sure do have original tastes! Loki is the greasy weasel of a family that bathes bidaily and uses lotion religiously. When was the last time Loki bathed? Probably in 1302 which was also the last time he had sex. With a horse. The best part about him is the cool helmet, that also looks stupid as hell half the time because he spends a weird amount of time in a green morph suit. 0/10

Magneto: Well respectable old man. However, he’s also a bitch. 5/10

Damien: Gothic dad that dresses like Dracula if he was a gay dad in 2017. He drinks red wine even though he can afford the good stuff and reads Twilight. Has no personality. 3/10

Challenger: hahahaha, what an emo prick. He looks so bland that only his emo color pallet can be talked about. 0/10

General Grevious: Look at this tall asshole with asthma. He’s so fucking skinny he probably only weighs a hundred pounds. He can split his arms in two so he can fuck four people at once, up until he gets on his back so he can take at least two dicks with a max of six, and at most four pussies. 7/10

Two Face: Ah, the classic bisexual villain. Half of him is a sexy man, the other half is a fucking disgusting ass acid burn. He decides everything with the toss of a coin, so chances are your sex won;t be that great. 2/10

Scarecrow: You will not enjoy the experience 0/10

Mr. Freeze: He’s gonna stick his icicle up your ass. If you want kids you’ll have to visit the snowbank. He has big snowballs. He’s bad at eating you out because he gives you frostbite. He would never send unsolicited snowcone pics. Third base is a snowjob. 8/10

Anthony Hopkins as Lecter: What the ever loving shit is wrong with you. He’s a sexual harassment, cann-ibal! Was a main character in one of the most transphobic books/movies ever. Cut off a hand because he isn’t quite an incel but kept the one he uses for masturbating. 1/10

Mads Mikkleson as Lecter: Understandable. Handsome, charismatic, a cannibal. He’s what every girl that likes men wants. Has good fashion sense, is actually a good serial killer, and is sexually ambigious. However, he murdered his adoptive daughter for no reason. 6/10

Ebony Maw: Piss kink looking mother fucker ass Enoby Darkness Dimension Raven Maw??? What possessed you to think fucking Squidward Tentacruel Nelson T. Krang was hot? What possessed you to think he was even remotely cute? This motherfucker looks like he sucks the piss from his own tentacle dick, which he had split in half to fulfill some weird ass fetish. Not even Loki would fuck this avocado ball sack on crystal meth, and my man’s fucked a horse. Even in the context of the movie, he’s one ugly looking mother fucker.