#tw:addiction mention

[arkin-oconnell]

“ you had me at cape Nikki. You know I love a ‘fuck off’ dramatic cape “ Arkin mused with a smile as soon as he heard his cousin go even further on their explanation of what this very strange but funny Christmas movie for hallmark where he was possibly the count from Sesame Street at this point? “ I built an entire acting career in being tortured her swoon worthy. Thats one of my few strengths “ he smiled as soon as he glanced back over to Nikki. It was true though, apparently Hollywood liked his whole tortured nihilistic vibe that he kept brining to people. He just sort of had to figure out how to do that professionally without being a disaster and full of drugs. He had to do it as a recovered addict with a newborn. Did Hollywood want that from him? “ you’d get a full story credit. Those checks just sign themselves with ideas like that “ he teased before his smile grew at the mention of Sterling. “ I’m often brooding under mistletoe that time of year. It’s mostly cause I don’t understand it. “

At least his dad had the decency to leave and never come back after the shit he pulled on his family. Arkin wasn’t sure what he felt about his cousins Houdini act. Because before all of that and everything he felt like the guy had it pretty good. Of course Arkin was heavily in his state of addiction back then so he may have missed a lot but he just still could wrap his head around what would possess someone to leave their partner and family in that way. “ I couldn’t do it. There’s always a choice. The choice to not leave your family is kind of a huge one “ he said though was it really his place to say such things? After all, it was only a year ago that Arkin almost left everyone, except his was through his own self destructive habits. Maybe he wasn’t any better? “ you promise ?” He repeated back because without a doubt he’d be there. Possibly with a baby in his arms if it was after his son was born and he needed to give Sterling peace, but he’d still be there. “ oh so now I’m a super hero?” He countered with a smile before letting out a sigh at her comment. “ it’s okay to not be fine too. Just remember that in case “ @ambivalenceshefelt

Nikki grinned. "Oh, trust me, you could absolutely pull it off. Full cape, fangs, the tortured-yet-swoon-worthy vampire vibe? You'd have every Hallmark fan eating out of the palm of your hand. Fangs for the Memories would be the comeback of the century." She smirked, giving him a teasing look. "And hey, I'd happily take credit for your reinvention as the holiday anti-hero. Imagine it; cozy sweaters for the baker, dramatic black turtlenecks for you. It's a win-win. Plus, I'm pretty sure Sterling would lose her mind seeing you brood under some mistletoe. Just saying..."

Talking about the heavier subject at hand, Nikki's smile softened. She let out a small sigh, running her fingers through her hair. "I get it, Arkin. It's hard to wrap your head around someone just..leaving like that. And trust me, it makes me mad too, more than I like to admit..." She met his gaze, appreciating his protective energy but trying to reassure him. He always kept a subtle eye out for her... "But really, I'm okay. And I mean it —I'll call you if anything changes or if I start spiraling. Promise..." Nikki reached out to give his arm a light squeeze. "Besides..I know you'd fly in wearing a cape and fangs to save the day if I needed you to..." She winked, trying to lighten the mood just a little. "I'm fine." Nikki repeated, almost like a mantra. || @arkin-oconnell

[rileymeyer]

How unsurprising that she would find herself inebriated in the first bar she set her eyes upon.  it really was a vicious cycle for her, always beginning with her swearing that she was only going to have one drink. one hit. one pass. one whatever had presented her that night. Look how far that line has gotten her. Thirty three years old and still unable to get past a week without indulging herself in one of her many ‘distractions’. Her lack of self control was ridiculous. Almost laughable even. A dry scoff escaped her as she shook her head before drawing back the last drink that was in front of her. The room had started spinning two shots ago with her self deprecation having set a bit before. Now all she could think about was how she has a handy little bag of white powder stashed under her mattress.

She was so engulfed in her mind that she didn’t even notice the fight that had broken out inside the bar until she tried to stand up. She held onto the counter trying to find her balance as fists were thrown around her. Whatever self pity she was feeling the moment prior was now replace with a sense of annoyance. How stupid. God, she wished she could spit in all of their faces. Not that she actually would. Even drunk she knew better than to pick fights that she knew she could not win. So instead Riley took this as a cue for her to head back him. She turned to the door, slowly making her way over when she suddenly noticed something in the corner of her eye.

A far too familiar profile. 

“Hey!” Her cry was drowned by the yelling of curse words and chants encouraging the fight. Slender hands reached out to take a hold of the figure. Once she did, the woman used whatever power and adrenaline she mustered up to pull the man away from the scene. She stumbled back, practically dragging the man with her until her back crashed into the wall. A gasp escaped her as her head began to throb as if someone had just smacked her skull with a sledgehammer. Did she hit her head on the wall? It didn’t matter. That wasn’t where her attention was right now. Instead it was on the man in front of her.  Wide eyes slowly scrunched into a glare. or at least, what was intended to be one. “You.”

@eddie-jameshood​

[liveyourgossip-blog]

Anybody you're just desperate to see screw up somehow? Any bets on who the next person to screw up is actually going to be?

Personally, I am so here for @rustysilver finally realising he’s nothing but a fucked up addict. The poor kid needs drugs.. Otherwise he’s just not interesting, and I’m pretty sure all of his friends and new girlfriend agree. Del left for a reason didn’t she (my guess she was bored).  @lenidaivs26 is off living her own life popping out satan’s children and well.. Isn’t @itsivytaylor right back in the arms of @theonicholas.. So.. Who do you have now Rust? Cause @oakleypierce is about to become broadway’s newest baby.. She’ll soon calling him her ‘Journey to the Past’. 

[cameronmalkinqueens]

Hopeless romantic- Although he’d never admit it, Cameron is completely and utterly a hopeless romantic, it may take him a while to fall for someone, but once he does he is head over heels for them. Every quote or simple phrase becomes a reminder of those he loves.

Another’s touch- Cameron used physical touch as a means of validation throughout his late teens and early twenties. Another’s delicate touch helped him feel normal and like there wasn’t anything wrong with him, he was majorly in denial, but it became so much of a need, that he started to think he was a sex-addict. 

Smoking- Not that Cam would ever romanticise the idea of smoking, he is fully aware of the negative health affects but there is something so soothing to him about being able to smoke. A habit he just can’t seem to kick. 

Outfit- What he looks like never really matters too much to Cam, as long as it’s black and form fitting. Anything that accentuates his height and slight build is a yes in his books. 

Coffee- Again, this is another habit that Cam can’t kick, caffeine is a serious addiction to someone that’s given up previous drugs and alcohol abuse. Cam is convinced he wouldn’t be able to pull himself out of bed most mornings if it wasn’t for the promise of coffee. 

Vinyls- Cameron’s love for music runs deep, but there’s something special about how a record player makes a vinyl recording sound, that crisp and sometimes scratched noise makes Cam feel like he’s sat in the studio with the band, absorbing everything the instruments have to offer. 

Painting- Cameron’s one artistic release was painting, although he somewhat lost his passion for it in recent years, he loved being able to put his surreal ideas onto canvas and experiment with different styles. 

Whiskey- Finding a quiet bar that sells good but cheap whiskey is a win in Cam’s eyes. His one crutch that he hasn’t been able to beat in all his years of being institutionalised, is drinking. Not that’s he’s dependant on the stuff but he probably drinks it a little too regularly for any doctors liking. 

Fights- Cam is quite often sporting bruised and bloody knuckles, the closest wall or person will often feel the brunt of his anger when an episode starts up. 

[arkin-oconnell]

Arkins sweet tooth had started to come out more now that he wasn’t shoving deadly chemicals into his body lately. He’d been told that that was just something that could happen especially after getting clean. You had to fill the void with something else. That had him showing up at the bakery at least once a week since he moved back home. It was one of those things where he had the free time to do it, as well as the money. As he walked in, Arkin didn’t realize there was gonna be a test today. Shit. He didn’t study either.

“ dress up a bunny like a leprechaun. Or make all your Easter decorations green like Shrek. Just combine them both so you don’t have to make the decision. “ Arkin offered with the most chaotic stream of words exiting his mouth. @noellexdriscoll

open starter: @aurorabaystarter

where: sweet nothings

"We have two holidays this month, Elise," Noelle began, speaking to her great niece in her carrier as Noelle babysat for Liza for a bit. "There's a lot to do but you're so darn cute I don't know how I'm going to focus on anything!" The woman huffed playfully as she doodled on her notepad. Noelle was letting Liza take care of the recipes but she was thinking about decorations.

The bell above the door chimed and Noelle looked up with a gasp. "Ah! No one better to ask than a customer! St. Patrick's Day and Easter are this month and I need to figure out how long to keep up decorations for both. Or if I should only decorate for one. Thoughts?"

[arkin-oconnell]

Status: Open (assume connections)

Location: Seascape Hotel (Masquerade Ball)

@aurorabaystarter

Arkin was actually having a good time tonight. He hated that. Here he’d been dragged back to Aurora Bay because he was weak willed and could never say no when his little sister asked him for anything and assumed his time back in his home town would be an actual nightmare. It was for the most part, but it wasn’t every day he got to run around in a skull mask and scaring older ladies with his ‘hot mess death’ vibe. It wasn’t the worst night and he had to admit that to himself. “ An older lady called me some sort of skeleton demon as I was leaving the bathroom. You think she’s single? Cause I consider that romantic talk?” He joked as he walked over to a familiar face. “ how about you? Feel like getting some air? This place is pretty packed “ he noted, hating a bit that he was in such an alcohol filled environment and here he was trying to stay clean and sober.

[arkin-oconnell]

Closed for @sterlingxlevin

Things were coming by fast and before Arkin had realized it the pair were almost at the due date. Every little milestone and small moment had gone by to lead up to their last month. It really had gone by so fast and while that normally would have Arkin freaking out this was something he was feeling prepared for. It wouldn’t have been that way had he still been in the condo. He would have been restless and probably in his head too much about becoming a terrible dad or relapsing; some negative thought patterns that would have sort of took hold of him. They were always lurking in the back of his head but focusing on something positive had sort of kept the metaphorical demons at bay.

It was almost easy because he wasn’t working, he was clear headed and really just focused on making sure Sterling was doing well. Helping paint the nursery and just trying to do his part when he could kept him sort of more optimistic “ anyone ever tell you how pretty you are? “ Arkin asked as he popped into the doorway of the room Sterling had been in. “ quick question , I know we’re running out of time here before that little guy shows up but is there anything you want me to take care of in the house still. I swear I’m missing something ?” He asked before glancing at Sterling with a smile.

[arkin-oconnell]

Closed for @edenxoconnell

Location: driftwood

Arkin had been kind of busy with baby prep lately. He wanted to stay focused on what was in front of him and had to deal with other things later. It was his way to make sure he didn’t overwhelm himself or stress himself out into some of the negative behaviors he fell into when he was trying to get his shit together. That meant though he didn’t have as much time to hang out with his sisters. Go course Eden and him were still close but there was a due date coming up fast and Arkin was just sort of stuck in baby mode.

It was why when he rolled up to driftwood he wanted to do something with his sister that was a little special. “ what time are you off again?” He asked walking in as he approached the counter. “ had a fun idea and I kind of can’t do it without you?”

[arkin-oconnell]

“ Valid, I always thought I had the face for the movies “ Arkin teased considering he had managed to become famous enough to end up leads in movies now. “ I still might take this though” he noted holding up the mug he was drinking out of. He had no reason to but considering he was trying to be clean and sober he had to find his excitement somewhere else now. “ you’re a unicorn Cordelia my love. People don’t realize that despite all that beauty you’re still a person they can talk to. “ he noted. She’d been the one friend to put up with him for as long as he could remember. He’d hype her up always. “ that’s such an aggressive proposal. But if we’re both tragically single by then I might say yes “ he teased. That was if he was still even around by then, that hard living really did a number to him @cvrdelia

"You do have the face for it." Cordelia hummed, with a shrug, as she sipped the soda in front of her. There were a lot of memories surrounding this place, and she remembered a lot of judgment she got from the customers for even entertaining Arkin and his foolish and childish endeavors. But she didn't care, there was something thrilling about being in the presence of the resident bad boy. "Not that the title's gotten me anywhere." She said, referring to her lack of relationships. "I swear Ark, if we're both single when we're forty, I'm making you marry me."

@arkin-oconnell

[arkin-oconnell]

A song that represents my muses darkest moment"

Perfect Day- Lou Reed

“just a perfect day,problems are left to know,Weekenders all night long,it's such fun,just a perfect day,you make me forget myself,I thought I was someone else,someone good”

It’s a song about addiction and the loneliness of it all. Arkins situation isn’t an easy one to deal with and it never goes away even if he’s clean and sober. He’s always going to be an addict and he can’t wake up one day and just be fine now, even with his families support and impending fatherhood

[arkin-oconnell]

👀+do you want kids?

"I am a kid. I don't even know? I feel like I'd be a decent dad, but I'm also in recovery technically, so I don't know. If it happens for me, it happens for me"

[arkin-oconnell]

Hearing her say that everyone screws up and makes mistakes was in a way comforting for Arkin to hear and yet it didn’t quite quell the storm in him. He wasn’t trying to think he was the biggest fuck up in the world but he never wanted his mistakes to impact other people. He never wanted to be almost like an infection to others and he’d just had rather kept things to himself and let himself suffer without letting others take on any of his issues. It was something he felt so guilty about all the time now and one day he was going to have to make peace with the fact his issues were out there now and others had to be part of it because that was just part of who he was now. “ I’ll always take care of you when you need me to. I don’t want to stop being someone both of you can rely on. And I am still working on everything. I promise when we get through a year of all of this it’ll feel a bit a bit better. Liek maybe I’ve accomplished something “ he admitted. He was always told the first year was the hardest and so far it was like climbing a mountain on roller skates. “ she knows. I’m worried i kind of sprung it on her on her one night but she’s been really supportive. I don’t think she really understood how bad of a situation Ive been in and I’m kind of grateful for that. I wouldn’t want to scare her away cause I really do like her” like she might be the one for him and Arkin was quickly realizing that fact the more he spent time with her.

“ come on. You’ve got this one easy.You’re already the coolest sister. And I’ve got pretty great opinions about the people I care about “ he smiled softly adding a moment of levity to things. Arkin always wanted Eden to know how great she was, because she deserved to know this. He wasn’t book smart but he knew people and Eden was as great as they came. “ I didn’t think anyone would want to have a kid with me so the fact that I am having one is kind Sid a lot to wrap my head around but it’s only made me more excited. I’m gonna be there no matter what. “ he noted before letting out a breath he’d been holding. He really missed acting and he wanted to go back but he knew he needed to take his time. He couldn’t put himself back in stressful places without the right foundation to do it again. It was easier in Aurora Bay because he had family there. He had a life removed from that work. But he still missed it. It was the biggest high he felt without ever having to touch drugs. “ it’s what my agents saying too. She’s under the belief that I need to take it way still, but also time away apparently helps with me maker a bigger comeback”

Arkins expression dropped and he really felt terrible that this was something Eden had been holding on to. It had been so long since his accident and he wasn’t sure just how this had been bubbling inside of his little sister. Arkin moved and went to hug her because he kind of just felt like maybe they both needed it in that moment. “ there’s is nothing on this world that would make me hate you Eden. Absolutely nothing and especially not something that was my own fault. I love you okay. You didn’t do anything wrong, you honestly did everything right. You did everything you could and then some. I am here because of you and you should never think you had a hand in how bad I had gotten. I can’t stop you from your own feelings but please don’t think I’ve ever hated you. You and Addie have been the only good in my life for a long time “ and now he had Sterling and their little family to add to the list now and he wouldn’t have had any of that without Eden’s intervention and saving his life. @edenxoconnell

“We’ve all fucked up, Arkin, there’s not a single person on this planet who hasn’t.” Sure, some fuck up more than others, but she didn’t want him to beat himself up over it. Doing that would do no good to him whatsoever. It wasn’t lost on Eden that she did that to herself, though. She beat herself up for what happened to Arkin and for her breakup with Robbie plenty. “They’re lucky to have you. I know shit hasn’t been great the past few years, especially this last one, but you’ve always been a great big brother. You always took care of me and you were there for me and Addie both. You’ll be a great dad, I just know it. Addiction… Well, it’s not easy.” The understatement of the century. “But I’m with you. Addie’s with you. I- I would hope Sterling’s with you… does she know?” Surely she did, right? If she did, Eden wondered what she thought. Eden would be lying if she said she wasn’t concerned about how Arkin’s struggle with addiction would affect her and the baby.

“I’ll try my best to be the coolest aunt.” Eden gave him a tiny smile, hoping to lighten things just a bit. “I think that’s great that you want to be there for them. I’m sure it means a lot to Sterling too.” It wasn’t a secret that Sterling had a baby so young and raised her as a single mom, so Eden was sure she’d be happy to have Arkin with her this time. “You’ll be ready again. It would be weird to never see you act again.” She knew how much he loved it. “But you can take your time, there’s no rush with it.”

The dreaded question had been asked and it was Arkin’s answer that made Eden let out a little breath of relief. She felt so relieved that her bottom lip even wobbled because it made her want to cry, but not only that, it made her feel like maybe she’d made a mistake breaking things off with Robbie. She’d only broken up with him because the guilt and hurt was eating her alive. “You don’t owe me anything. Just be okay, that’s all I want.” She sniffled, trying to keep her emotions at bay but she was failing. “I really thought you hated me. I really thought you were angry with me or hurt that I didn’t see it until it was too late. I’ve hated myself since it happened.”

@arkin-oconnell

[arkin-oconnell]

The closer it got to Sterlings due date the more he felt calm and out the idea of being a dad. Of course he was still scared out of his damn mind though. He didn’t exactly have the best father figure to learn anything from and his own addiction issues regardless of how long he’d managed to stay sober were always in the back of his mind. He didn’t want to relapse period but he especially never wanted that aspect of who he was to bleed into his future with Sterling and their family. Arkin had been putting in so much work though. He really had been trying and it helped him so much to be able to wake up in bed with Sterling and hold her at night. The more time he spent with her and this sort of intimacy as a family crept into their loved the more Arkin realized he had fallen in love with Sterling. He didn’t say the words yet because he didn’t want it to come out as something just tied to the fact they were having a baby together. No, he wanted to say it when it counted the most. When it was clear he was there not just cause of their baby but because he was completely heart eyes for the woman he was currently sharing a bed with.

“ I wasn’t easy to deal with as a baby myself. we’re gonna have a lot of work to do” he said as he kept his hand on Sterlings baby bump “ gotta say I’m pretty excited for it though. Scared. But it’ll be good. I stay up all night anyway, I can stay up with them if he gets restless like me “ he rubbed small circles with his thumb over her skin and smiled a bit for a moment longer before looking at Sterling again. “ oh shit. Not even here and throwing parties. Reminds me of the first night we met “ he teased when it came to how sort of unconventional their first meeting had been. He didn’t know what possessed him to go into the bar when he was in recovery but it was probably supposed to happen. He wouldn’t have met Sterling if he hadn’t. “ wanna show me some stuff you were working on?” He asked nudging towards the sketchbook. “ yeah we should. I have no idea where to start. I’ve never had to name anything in my life. What about you? You came up with Sunny. I know you have a million good ideas in your head “

“ you help in ways I never thought possible sterling “ he noted before leaning over to give her a brief kiss. “ I’m sorry you aren’t sleeping as well as I have been. I can always make sure you get a good nights sleep when he’s here but is there anything I can do to help before that happens ? I’m gonna need you to get some ready too “ @sterlingxlevin

Sterling smiled at the warmth of Arkin's hand on her stomach. It was the closest he could come to holding their son for the time being and it made her heart swell at the thought of him being a father. He was sweet to Sunny and always sweet to his sisters too, so she believed he would be a great father. His comment made her laugh and she shook her head, grinning all the while. "We're definitely going to have our hands full if he's anything like I was." It didn't take long after having Sunny for Sterling to realize that she was maybe getting karma for the shit she'd put her father through when she was growing up. She'd put that man through hell with her attitude, her anger, her fighting with Liza, and skipping school just to go surfing. And, of course, Sterling got pregnant at a young age, so that was a lot too. With how much of Sterling's attitude Sunny already had, she wouldn't be surprised at all if Sunny was going to grow up to be a whole lot like Sterling. She, however, just hoped that if Sunny had kids one day it would be much later in life than when Sterling had her. But that was way too much to think about now. However, she hoped their son didn't have her hot-headed attitude because it'd gotten her into a lot of trouble. And so far Sunny's attitude had gotten her in a lot of trouble as well and the girl was only five!

"I'm not sure. I mean he's just in there having a party or something. That's what it feels like sometimes anyway." Sterling joked, laughing softly as he own hand moved to rest on his belly. "He likes to throw parties at night when I'm supposed to be sleeping. It's why I have a sketchbook full of new stuff. If I can't sleep I just draw." Sterling shrugged. "I'm sure if we bother him like this long enough he'll do something." She said as she gently pressed her fingers into her stomach to see if he'd kick back or anything. "We should really start talking names."

"Aw, that's sweet. I'm glad. I hope I'm of help some way. Although I have to say I'm a bit jealous." She let out a dramatic sigh, referring to all their talk about their son moving around as well as just pregnancy discomfort keeping her up in general.

@arkin-oconnell