#tw:overdose

[arkin-oconnell]

pain: What’s the worst pain your OC has ever felt? Do they have a high pain tolerance?

" Well considering the shit, I've done to my body when I was on drugs, I would have to say going through detox and rehab was the worst I've ever felt in my life. I walked through a glass door once too. That was a nightmare. "

[the-nelson-quinn]

Jupiter: Do you have any siblings? 

" I have or had two brothers. Cooper was my older brother and he died when I was still in school. The less said about what had happened the better, but it's the reason I know my dads in hell. And then I have a younger brother, who is the progenitor of my niece and nephew, so he's pretty cool. "

[sassybalin]

I miss you. I don't know why I miss you. It's not like we were friends recently. We were friends a long time ago. Back when I was mentally ill, and unable to leave my house. When all my brain focused on was DIE, DIE, DIE. And when all I wanted to do was leave. So many years of fighting the mental health system, of feeling like I was really going to die. But then I guess I was screwed to begin with. My mother in my teenage years always answered her problems with suicide attempts so perhaps I saw it as the only way out. That and an addiction to prescription pills. Overdosing on pills...panadol, ibuprofen...anything I could get my hands on. I thought I would go nowhere. I spent a long time going nowhere. And maybe that's where missing you came in. Because the me then, is not the me now. You'd be surprised to meet me now and realize I'm pretty chilled out unless I'm angry, or on the verge of a mental breakdown. I didn't go nowhere like I thought I would either. I went somewhere. I became something --all because someone gave me a chance. That was a woman who decided to give me a chance at a casual job for 3 months. That job turned out to be from then until now. Maybe that's why I'm missing you. I guess I wanted you to see what I became. I don't blame you for leaving me, or abandoning our friendship. I understand I was too difficult to deal with, too volatile. But sometimes when I see you, or hear about you, I miss you. Not those angry or upset moments. But the moments spent beating each other up in Soul Calibur, the moments talking and drawing together. And the time spent playing games together. I miss the moments taking the piss out of movies or sharing music together. But I understand. Sometimes you have to let go. Even if it hurts. You have to do what's best for you. And you did. But that doesn't stop me missing what we had, as friends. I don't think it will ever stop hurting. Maybe it will. Maybe I'll be lucky and the pain will go away.

[arkin-oconnell]

Hearing her say that everyone screws up and makes mistakes was in a way comforting for Arkin to hear and yet it didn’t quite quell the storm in him. He wasn’t trying to think he was the biggest fuck up in the world but he never wanted his mistakes to impact other people. He never wanted to be almost like an infection to others and he’d just had rather kept things to himself and let himself suffer without letting others take on any of his issues. It was something he felt so guilty about all the time now and one day he was going to have to make peace with the fact his issues were out there now and others had to be part of it because that was just part of who he was now. “ I’ll always take care of you when you need me to. I don’t want to stop being someone both of you can rely on. And I am still working on everything. I promise when we get through a year of all of this it’ll feel a bit a bit better. Liek maybe I’ve accomplished something “ he admitted. He was always told the first year was the hardest and so far it was like climbing a mountain on roller skates. “ she knows. I’m worried i kind of sprung it on her on her one night but she’s been really supportive. I don’t think she really understood how bad of a situation Ive been in and I’m kind of grateful for that. I wouldn’t want to scare her away cause I really do like her” like she might be the one for him and Arkin was quickly realizing that fact the more he spent time with her.

“ come on. You’ve got this one easy.You’re already the coolest sister. And I’ve got pretty great opinions about the people I care about “ he smiled softly adding a moment of levity to things. Arkin always wanted Eden to know how great she was, because she deserved to know this. He wasn’t book smart but he knew people and Eden was as great as they came. “ I didn’t think anyone would want to have a kid with me so the fact that I am having one is kind Sid a lot to wrap my head around but it’s only made me more excited. I’m gonna be there no matter what. “ he noted before letting out a breath he’d been holding. He really missed acting and he wanted to go back but he knew he needed to take his time. He couldn’t put himself back in stressful places without the right foundation to do it again. It was easier in Aurora Bay because he had family there. He had a life removed from that work. But he still missed it. It was the biggest high he felt without ever having to touch drugs. “ it’s what my agents saying too. She’s under the belief that I need to take it way still, but also time away apparently helps with me maker a bigger comeback”

Arkins expression dropped and he really felt terrible that this was something Eden had been holding on to. It had been so long since his accident and he wasn’t sure just how this had been bubbling inside of his little sister. Arkin moved and went to hug her because he kind of just felt like maybe they both needed it in that moment. “ there’s is nothing on this world that would make me hate you Eden. Absolutely nothing and especially not something that was my own fault. I love you okay. You didn’t do anything wrong, you honestly did everything right. You did everything you could and then some. I am here because of you and you should never think you had a hand in how bad I had gotten. I can’t stop you from your own feelings but please don’t think I’ve ever hated you. You and Addie have been the only good in my life for a long time “ and now he had Sterling and their little family to add to the list now and he wouldn’t have had any of that without Eden’s intervention and saving his life. @edenxoconnell

“We’ve all fucked up, Arkin, there’s not a single person on this planet who hasn’t.” Sure, some fuck up more than others, but she didn’t want him to beat himself up over it. Doing that would do no good to him whatsoever. It wasn’t lost on Eden that she did that to herself, though. She beat herself up for what happened to Arkin and for her breakup with Robbie plenty. “They’re lucky to have you. I know shit hasn’t been great the past few years, especially this last one, but you’ve always been a great big brother. You always took care of me and you were there for me and Addie both. You’ll be a great dad, I just know it. Addiction… Well, it’s not easy.” The understatement of the century. “But I’m with you. Addie’s with you. I- I would hope Sterling’s with you… does she know?” Surely she did, right? If she did, Eden wondered what she thought. Eden would be lying if she said she wasn’t concerned about how Arkin’s struggle with addiction would affect her and the baby.

“I’ll try my best to be the coolest aunt.” Eden gave him a tiny smile, hoping to lighten things just a bit. “I think that’s great that you want to be there for them. I’m sure it means a lot to Sterling too.” It wasn’t a secret that Sterling had a baby so young and raised her as a single mom, so Eden was sure she’d be happy to have Arkin with her this time. “You’ll be ready again. It would be weird to never see you act again.” She knew how much he loved it. “But you can take your time, there’s no rush with it.”

The dreaded question had been asked and it was Arkin’s answer that made Eden let out a little breath of relief. She felt so relieved that her bottom lip even wobbled because it made her want to cry, but not only that, it made her feel like maybe she’d made a mistake breaking things off with Robbie. She’d only broken up with him because the guilt and hurt was eating her alive. “You don’t owe me anything. Just be okay, that’s all I want.” She sniffled, trying to keep her emotions at bay but she was failing. “I really thought you hated me. I really thought you were angry with me or hurt that I didn’t see it until it was too late. I’ve hated myself since it happened.”

@arkin-oconnell

[thorinsbeard]

Friend loss(ramble under the cut)

Does it hurt that you unfriended me? yes it does but i understand. We hadn't spoken in months (7 months at least) or hung out but if you looked you'd realize it was me who replied and you never did. Or maybe if you talked to me, you would have realized for ages I was working 2 jobs at work and barely had enough time to do anything. Seeing people was the last thing on my mind. And then my sister overdosed on pills, my cat got sick so I don't think a real friend would just leave me during that time. It's not like my life got easier. but it kind of sucks because even though I understand we weren't speaking, our words were forced and not real anymore and it was like talking to a stranger, we could have fixed it, maybe if we just spoke to each other. But I've never been very good at keeping friends, so maybe it's all my fault. Just sucks that the people who left me, couldn't see me grow. When you knew me last, I was a shy, timid boy who barely left the house and had no confidence at all. Who would not go anywhere except safe places and home. And then my boss gave me a chance to work and I grew, I got more confident with my new friends, my new work team and began to go out and began to talk again, began to live again. And now we're complete strangers In the blink of an eye.

[dadzxwa]

He was awake.

That meant it didn't work. Which also meant he was now going to have to deal with the consequences of his actions. Who had found him? Who did they tell? Would his coworkers know? His students? Mic?

Dread seeped in around the nausea and the pain in his head. Pain killers didn't work the last time, he wasn't sure why he thought sleeping pills would work any better. He opened his eyes hesitantly, his vision struggling to focus around the bright light of the hospital room.

"Fuck..."

[9597library]

Hiraeth

by haruday (E | 5/5 | 100,605 )

Jeongguk has learned the hard way from the tender age of thirteen when his father pushed him down the stairs, that people are a disappointment. They always will be and so he breaks hearts instead.

Hurt people hurt people.

Jeongguk likes hurting girls, but he doesn't like hurting Kim Taehyung.

note: when i ask for heavy angst, this is what i mean. it’s renowned in the taekook fandom. so painful and fucked up. please read the tags on this one ten times over. chapter 3 in particular is filled with a lot of heavy shit. one warning the author didn’t put was a warning for dubious consent between jk and a stranger when he is obviously struggling with drug abuse! this happens during chapter 3, fairly in the beginning.

[jo-barrow]

closed - @angelway

Location - Jo’s apartment

TW: overdose, drugs, induced vomiting, generally poor medical choices. read more for discretion

Business had been better than usual lately, enough that Jo was beginning to feel a bit of hope for the place. It had started being loud again. Nothing crazy, not enough to make people leave, but enough that the walls and the floors felt alive again, the whole place had energy and life in it. Things weren’t okay, not yet, but she felt like if she held on tight enough to what she had, the storm outside would pass by without doing much more damage. Closing the bar up for the night, she patted her back pocket and the money there, more than she usually took home, and decided to make a quick side trip before heading up to the apartment. If Angel was already asleep then Jo would leave her be, but on the probable chance that she was up, tonight called for ice cream and a rented movie. 

A little while later, Jo took the back stairs two at a time until she reached her front door. “Angel face, I got us ice cream-” Jo’s face and the bag she was holding fell when she saw the young woman, laying far too still on the floor. She didn’t consciously tell herself to move but almost instantly Jo was on her hands and knees, hovering over Angel’s face. Her heart was hammering in her chest and she was clenching her jaw so tightly her teeth hurt. 

“Angel? Angel?!” Jo said loudly, tapping the side of the woman’s face before dropping an ear to her mouth to make sure she was still breathing. “What the fuck are you doin’, babe? What the fuck?” she muttered as she checked Angel’s thin wrist for a pulse and a small noise of relief fell from her when she realized it was still there. “Angel! WAKE UP!” Jo shouted. 

Angel was so tiny and thin, and after years of moving kegs on her own it didn’t take much for Jo to prop her friend on her side, still slapping her face lightly, just trying to bring her to consciousness. “Angel? What did you take?” Jo asked. In the back of her mind she thought ‘call the fucking hospital’ but then what? Was being put in a white room and poked and prodded really going to fix... whatever the fuck was happening right now? Looking around she noted the beer bottles and the faint, white dust on the coffee table. Okay, not exactly an after-school special but hardly something to get you to this place. “Angel, you need to wake and tell me what you took.” Jo snapped, shaking the woman slightly in frustration. Standing for a moment she ran into Angel’s room, quickly looking around for a needle or a bottle, anything. There was nothing. The bathroom next -fuck. It hadn’t really occurred to her to get rid of her Dad’s pain meds. They came in handy on occasion, but she’d never thought-. The whole bottle? So Angel wanted to poison herself to death like Jo’s old man had? Maybe it was the building itself that was cursed to be home to people who didn’t care about their fucking limits. Tough shit. Jo cared.

Concern was mingled with anger as she stormed into the living room and pulled Angel so that the she was practically in Jo’s lap. “Wake up and get this shit out of your stomach.” Jo said, opening Angel’s mouth and sticking her fingers down her throat. It was the only action she could think of - to get what poison she could out of her friend. “C’mon!” she shouted again, wiggling her fingers and she could feel Angel gagging. “Good girl, come on.” Jo said, one hand coaxing the woman’s throat to help her vomit while the other smoothed her hair back from her face. After a moment Angel’s body shuddered and she threw up. It was on the floor, on Angel’s face, on Jo’s hands and in her lap but the bartender didn’t care. Jo just released a breath she’d been holding and continued to stroke Angel’s hair. “That’s good. Good girl. Get it out. Get it all out.” she said, reaching out her free hand to keep an finger on Angel’s pulse. ‘Vomit, then water, then some more water’ Jo thought to herself, creating a plan that was not going to involve sleeping anytime soon.

[h0llyalexander]

What would you do if desi overdosed?

@chasingdeadends “I’m just saying my parents were right, you’re like a bad influence”, Holly chuckled as she lay on the bed with Desi, half stoned and half exhausted from hours of sex. The smell of marijuana lingered through the hotel room. Their sweat and bodily fluids had seeped into the sheets and even opening the window didn’t carry away the smell. Not that it was a particularly unpleasant one. Holly just knew that whoever was gonna have to clean this bed was gonna have their work cut out for them. She was still lazily puffing from a blunt when she noticed Desi’s movement from the corner of her eye. She turned her head, watching as her secret lover sat up and leaned over one edge of the bed. “Whatcha doing?”, she asked curiously, rolling herself onto one side and propping her head up on one of her hands. Desi didn’t respond to her, which was odd - she usually answered rightaway. When Desi tried to stand up, Holly briefly assumed that she had to go to the bathroom. She took two steps, and then she collapsed. Desi’s skull hit the floor with a dull thud, her head slightly bouncing off the wooden floorboards. Holly’s eyes widened and she let out a shriek of terror as she watched blood starting to pool beneath Desi’s head. It was like something out of a nightmare. The blunt she had been enjoying fell from her hand and she scrambled to her knees, hurriedly crawling over to Desi’s side of the bed and reaching for her. 

“Desi? Desi?!” She called out to her in distress, cautiously touching her back, as if she was afraid Desi might suddenly jump up like a zombie. She didn’t. She just lay there, face down and motionless on the floor. Holly jumped out of bed and got down to her knees beside Desi, grabbing her shoulders and turning her over. To her horror, there was a giant bruise on Desi’s forehead but that wasn’t the worst of it. Her lips...her lips were turning blue! Holly had never seen blood leave a person’s face so quickly. It was terrifying. “Oh my God”, she gagged, her fear quickly manifesting into a visceral reaction as she nearly threw up. “No! No, no, no, no...” She scrambled for the phone beside the bed, rapidly pressing the key that would connect her to somebody downstairs. She would later wonder why she didn’t just call emergency services. “Hello?! Help! I need help! Someone’s passed out! Please!”, she cried into the phone, collecting herself just long enough to pass on the room number before she dropped the horn and rushed back to Desi’s side. “Wake up, wake up”, she pleaded with her, lightly slapping her face in hopes of waking her up through some kind of shock. She would later regret this, too. “Desi, wake up now!” Small hands roamed Desi’s neck in a panic, searching for some kind of pulse or a sign of life. She leaned in to listen for a breath and to her relief, Desi was still breathing. It was shallow, but it was still there. “Oh thank God”, she sobbed, grabbing Desi’s hand and squeezing it tight. “Stay with me baby”, she cupped Desi’s pale cheek while hotel staff rushed in and emergency services were called.

[arkin-oconnell]

Vega: What’s something you’ve done that you wish you hadn’t?

" Overdose after a pretty public meltdown and put my mom and sisters through all of that. I can't say I've been the best brother or son, but doing that really was really shitty behavior. " @edenxoconnell

[the-nelson-quinn]

Nebula: If you could undo one thing in your life, what would it be?

" I feel like it would be to go back in time and try to prevent my brother Cooper from dying. That was the major turning point for things with my family and my life in general. I don't know how I would do it, but it'd be the one thing I would undo"

[arkin-oconnell]

Arkin knew there was this new energy between him and Eden now that he was home. He’d almost died and that didn’t just get forgotten like it was nothing. he wanted to do everything in his power to try and fix things, because he was the one who created this situation. It was hard not to bring it up but he was going to try to focus more on his younger sisters needs than his own dumb decisions. It would help him stay busy and not thinking about relapse.

Joking about something sweet was easy. He wasn’t the kind of guy with the most refined palate. And even in his thirties nothing changed.

“Just the cherries? Or are you going for all the syrup inside the jar too? Cause that tastes good in soda “ he replied with a smile before biting his inside cheek. “ would it be bad if I’ve barely even started. I mean aside from all the furniture you see around here and things I use all the time. It’s been a whirlwind month or so” @edenxoconnell

Eden led her brother into the kitchen where she set the grocery bags down on the counter and she immediately began unpacking them. Sometimes she had a hard time meeting his eyes, but only because she'd seen such heartache and pain in them and other times she was afraid he'd be able to see those things in her own. It was stupid to worry about because, to Eden, she was certain her family didn't pay that much attention to her to notice anything anymore. Were they aware of her achievements in school or that she'd been writing a book? She wasn't sure and she was too afraid to ask. But then there were moments when she realized she was being selfish and only thinking about what her family thought of her.

Eden felt a grin growing across her lips as he threatened the can of whipped cream, and she found herself all out smiling when she finally turned to look at him and saw his own smile. It was nice to see.

"The cherries are what have to watch out for me." The youngest O'Connell joked in response as she held up the jar of cherries. "Have you finished unpacking and all?"

@arkin-oconnell

[lilacxrosesx]

If you knew Skye, you were aware of her playful nature, that change in her face with that smile that was infectious. Now had been replaced by a vacant expression as the sound of hospital machinery beeped within the silence. No one would worry, considering most of her relationships were just physical and lacked any depth. Her ‘friends’ were only that as they basked in their mutual activities of getting drunk, high and have sex. She knew Michael and Sam wouldn’t worry, neither would her dad because he hadn’t been in the picture for years. The fact that she’d taken too much in a moment of incredible poor misjudgement and wanting to numb whatever she was feeling put her in the hospital bed to begin with. She’d put Michael as her emergency contact when he offered to save her from Jasper, although it seemed stupid she just felt safer around him, and he was probably the only person who cared. How wrong was she? Her skin looked pale, her body lifeless as she led in the bed with a drip placed in the crook of her arm, trying to replenish her body as she tried to heal from the backlash of her actions. She had gone to see Sam after the fight with Michael— they’d obviously slept together and then she’d left to go to the nearest party her friend had recommended, got a little drunk, and invested in some flirting that ended up in lots of drugs, and she felt good for a small period of time— really good. That’s what Michael told her to do right? And then she felt weird, in pain, breathless, cold, and it all went black. @hxppiness--begins

[atmiger224]

(The First) | parson, zimbits

[trynatorecover]

Watching someone die is the hardest thing I've ever done. 

It's not always all at once. 

It's a bag at a time, 

A beer at a time. 

The next thing I know, 

it's coming home from work to him slumped over on the bathroom floor. 

Its waking up from a nap to his mother screaming. 

Its seeing purple lips, 

And a face slowly turning black, 

And that terrifying death rattle. 

It's slow at first, 

And then sudden. 

Its 20$ stolen from my car, 

And then a whole paycheck from my savings account. 

Its breaking his needle and getting him in the car before the cops come. 

Its watching him shoot up so that if he dies, I can save him. 

Its giving him cpr and splashing water on his face, 

Just for him to complain later that his chest hurts. 

Its him telling me, "I'm okay". 

It's me knowing hes not okay. 

It's holding him after bringing him back to life. 

Its loving him with all my broken heart can muster. 

[puckinglandon]

castaway|| self-para

His head hurt, but that was the least of his worries. Though he told everyone he had slept some, he really didn’t. He couldn’t; everytime he closed his eyes all he saw was Julien’s lifeless body laying on the bathroom floor and he would shoot up, scared he didn’t make it in time. He took the necessary bathroom breaks, ate the minimal amount of food his stomach would allow, and changed into a clean pair of clothes. But other than that, he barely left the waiting room if it wasn’t his turn to sit with Julien. He kept his head down, switching between laying on the couch and sitting between JD and Parker, the two of them were what kept him from breaking down again. 

Once Mr. Schuester walked out, it was his turn to go in. Standing on shaky legs he followed the nurse down the hallway, walking into the hospital room. Though he had already seen Julien, seeing him so helpless and not awake brought tears to his eyes once again. He slowly made his way into the room, hesitating before sitting down in the chair. Reaching out he took hold of Juliens hand, hating the fact that as he curled his hand around his, there was no similar movement, no squeeze reciprocated. An involuntary sob escaped him, bringing the chair closer to the bed. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t see it, that no one saw it. Babe… That she… she broke you so much that you thought you weren’t worthy enough to not get high all the time. God, she’s a bitch.” He said, letting out a watery laugh at himself. “We should have paid attention better but you… you need to wake up so we can. After everything I can’t… can’t lose you, man. Not when I just got you.” He brought their hands up, instantly bringing his lips to the older boy's hands. Any contact was better than none. “We need you. Me and JD and Parker, we need our best friend and lead singer. We can’t do this shit without you. And Danny and Hudson and Briar… they need their brother. They can’t be the two ginger two blonde clan without you. And Briar… B is a wreck. You can’t leave her, she needs her twin. Leaving your twin is like… against the twin handbook. I think. I would imagine if there was an actual twin handbook, it’d be in there.” He was rambling now, knowing that if he stopped talking and let the silence overtake them he’d lose it even more. 

“And I… I need you. So much. Not just because I finally grew the balls to tell you how I feel and you for some reason ended up feeling the same. But because you’re my best friend. Yeah, there’s JD and Parker but you… god Julien, you don’t get it. Baby you are the only person in my life that I’m not treated like a kid around. Everyone always jokes on how I’m the youngest of us all but you… you treat me like I’m just like everyone else. You don’t treat me like a kid. You are so sweet and kind and caring and I love you and need you. You can’t…” He shook his head, taking a sharp intake of breath as the sobs started to wrack his body again. “You have to wake up and you have to get better so we can annoy everyone together again and be famous and gross together and you… please. You can’t leave me. I can’t do this without you. I love you.” He let his sobs overtake him, dropping their hands and his head to the edge of his bed, unsure what to do anymore.