#tw: endeavour

[mossy-opal]

Personal Rant

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of All Categories of Abuse, Trauma Dumping on a Massive Scale, Endeavour Slander

I really really hate him. This hate was originally held against him for Shoto, because I used to not be so fond of Dabi- Thought he was very bland. But, ever since his reveals and I got to know him, I got attached to him.

Not only that, I see a lot of similarities between us.

My dad beat my mom, babytrapped her, financially trapped her, manipulated her, gaslit her. My dad beat my brother, manipulated my brother and myself. When my brother was born my dad basically forgot about me.

Why is it that if/when I talk about my dad, I always get a lot of support, and people always bring up "Oh wow yea what an asshole." But when Endeavour is brought up, or Dabi, suddenly it's, "Well Enji is trying his best," and "Dabi shouldn't have done this, that and the third". Is it because of myself being female presenting? Is it because Dabi is a villain? I actually think, in another time line, I could have ended up exactly like Dabi.

And you know what? I don't mind that thought one bit. What I would give to see my father set ablaze by his past sins-

Just like Enji however, my dad tried reaching out and asking for a relationship with me.

But unlike Natsuo and Fuyumi, I held him accountable. I told my dad straight out, "I will give you a chance, if you apologise."

Guess what he wouldn't do?

Guess what Enji still hasn't done?

Not once has he said "I'm sorry." Only ever after becoming a pro and being in the spot light does he want to "atone" for what he's done- That alone rubs me the wrong way. My dad was an upstanding citizen too, went to work and did his job, ran his business, and just like Enji, he came home to beat his wife and kids.

Don't you find it odd that Natsuo got really fucking worried for his mother when he found out Enji was just dropping off flowers?

Don't you find it odd people continue to victim blame Rei for having a literal mental breakdown? When she hurt Shoto, she didn't see Shoto.

She saw Enji.

When Touya left home and Rei tried stopping him, she froze when he looked at her, because those were Enji's eyes.

It's odd to me that no one gives two fucks that Enji babytrapped Rei, financially trapped Rei, continues to Stockholm her into loving him, etc.

And even at this massive plot point, he has yet to say "I'm sorry. I love you."

Not, "I'm sorry you feel that way," or, "I'm sorry but," No. No no no, that's not how you apologise.

"I'm sorry for what I did to you. I was wrong. I love you."

That's all he has to say, but he won't, you know why? Because he doesn't truly believe that.

So when people say "He's changing" and "He's getting better", from my own personal experience, I find that very hard to believe.

My apologies if this rant is a little bit- All over the place. With recent manga leaks and people still being Endeavour apologists, I just had to put this in a coherent post for all to see.

I hate my father. I hate Endeavour. I hate Endeavour Apologists. I hate Rei Haters. I hate Heroes.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled program of Shigaraki simping.

[whumpdoyoumean]

The people have spoken! This year's Whump March Madness winner is...

Drugged!!!

Thank you for another great year!

Here are 6 excellent druggings for you to watch (or rewatch):

~Stranger Things, 3x06

~The Man From UNCLE (2015)

~White Collar, 1x10

~Endeavour, 4x02

~Constantine, 1x03

~9-1-1: Lone Star, 3x12

[bibibbon]

It's weird that only Natuso (and, sometimes, Shoto) are debated as rape children.

I doubt Rei was beaming in joy when Endeavor decided his first attempt at his successor. You know, because Rei never had any romantic or sexual thoughts of Endeavor before being bought.

From what I have seen it is indeed only shoto and natsou that are considered rape children (gosh that is such a disgusting term) and if I had to say why it probably all stems from chapter 301.

Chapter 301 was the chapter we were fully introduced to touya and Rei's circumstances from ENJI'S pov (for some unknown reason😑😐😑) and people only recognise enji's actions as rape and SA when Rei says that she doesn't want anymore children (by this point touya and fuyumi are already born)

That aside can we talk about where the hell did touya get this sexist ideology from? (Probably enji) 🤷‍♀️

A lot of people do end up forgetting that Rei didn't have the choice and had to marry enji. No when she was sold she was compliant and went along with it. Enji was the one to initiate this and Rei's family had no problems in selling her (SHE HAD NO CHOICE OR SAY IN THE MATTER!!!) she complied because it would of just been easier for her and in the end when she said no she was proven right that she had no authority or power in the relationship.

After she says no the manga pages following after show her getting more and more mentally distressed with the birth of each child with clear and dominant eye bags underneath her eyes while enji gets angrier and more aggressive.

In the end if we're being technical all of the todoroki children were born out of consent and the only reason the fandom mainly debates and shoto and natsou being the ones born out of consent is because of the panel of Rei saying that she doesn't want anymore children in chapter 301

[alias71]

I'm the patriarch...

...the gray hair. The one who's seen things, done things. The old man you've had a feeling for from the off. You will love me. I remind you of your own dad, or the one you wish he'd been. You'll always find me at the front line. I am the line. And though you know the good guys and the innocent often perish in great drama, you won't be able to help yourself. But this isn't news to you. See, I'm not talking about what you watch, I'm talking about why you watch it. The don't look, can't look, please don't let this happen. But this is gonna happen anyway. Find the characters you love and be with them. The mothers, the lovers. The fathers. Because all our stories are too short for bad characters.

Great Characters | ‘The Patriarch’ | ITV

I love everything about this advert for ITV Drama, particularly how it seems to be Fred Thursday as Endeavour sees him, not how he really is, with the emphasis on 'I am the line' and 'the fathers', which he pauses to say as though he's looking right at Morse. Fred really was the dad Endeavour wished he'd had, right up until he wasn't.

...the fathers...

And this last moment has echoes to others...

"We hold the line. If you cross it now, then there's no way back."

Thursday did cross the line in the end but it's crucial to notice that Endeavour, though devastated by that betrayal, looked in the chamber of the gun here. He absolutely made a choice to go on.

"Find the characters you love and be with them."

It really helps when Shaun Evans and Roger Allam are the actors playing those characters.

And I'm always here for Badass Fred Thursday!

[kannibalkaiii]

Dabi daydreaming about being in his Dad's arms ~

Used this ref

"Full on twitt"

[takami-flock]

FoY inspired memes - Part 2 [Reupload]

[morsesnotes]

Endeavour | Terminus

[mywingsareonwheels]

Here be yet more Fred Thursday musings ;-)

[Long post and spoilers for all of Endeavour here.]

So, I was thinking yet again (for the billionth time ;-) ) about Fred Thursday and the three people we see him kill over the course of Endeavour while trying to save someone else:-

Mrs Coke-Norris

Ludo Talenti

Raymond Kennitt/Peter Williams

The show seems to be pointing us into believing that the third of those is somehow much, much worse than the first two and I... have a problem with this.

I mean, in all three cases Fred was responding to an immediate threat to life (of someone he cared about, and in the second and third cases also Fred himself). In the case of Mrs C-N Fred was officially on duty which gives him some extra legal cover, but I'd say no extra moral cover.

I'm no legal expert, but from what I understand, under English-and-Welsh law, none of the three were murders; you're looking at manslaughter at worst, at best a good case for self/other-defence, which... is a grey area but certainly a decent defence lawyer could have had a good go.

(It is worth noting, of course, that this is the morseverse and this is Fred Thursday; he's made so many enemies both in the criminal justice system and among criminals, mostly through doing actively good things, that his chances of either a fair trial or then surviving prison are basically non-existent. I think we have to weigh all of Morse's decisions in "Exeunt" with that in mind because there's no way Morse isn't aware of it. Sam's chances of surviving prison for drug-dealing I think we can assume would also be remote, again due to the enemies Fred has made. And I think again, we have to weigh both Fred's and Morse's decisions with that in mind.)

So... yeah. I think there are only three things that you might consider as making the killing of Raymond Kennitt worse than that of Ludo Talenti or Mrs Coke-Norris:-

the use of the knife rather than a gun, which makes it theoretically possible that Fred could have found a way to end the fight that didn't involve killing Kennitt. That does strike me as something that's probably easier to see from a backseat than if you're Fred in the middle of what's happening, but still.

we know Kennitt's horrifying backstory (not that Fred does), and so feel huge amounts of compassion for him even though he's obviously awful in the "present", and sympathy for the grief that Jakes would feel if he knew what had happened. That's inevitable I think, but, well. Can we be sure that Mrs C-N and Ludo aren't child abuse survivors too? (We do know that Fred and Charley both are, though not the details.) All in all, I think this is a show that wants us to feel compassion for as many characters as possible, and I don't want to assume that Mrs C-N and Ludo didn't end up Like That for no reason.

the fact that Fred kills Mrs C-N and Ludo in defense of Morse (the protagonist, Fred's protege, and a character we all love) and kills Kennitt in defense of Sam (a more minor character, and Fred's son). I would hope that Morse wouldn't see it like that and that neither does Russell Lewis because obviously that's a dreadful position to hold, but... yeeeah. It would annoy me a lot if that's part of the reasoning of the show, but protagonist-centered morality is a flaw in an awful lot of fiction, and while Endeavour mostly doesn't give into it, I don't think any writers are immune. So I do have a horrible suspicion that this is the bit that makes the actual difference, even though I really think it shouldn't be. If Fred had killed Kennitt to save Morse rather than Sam... would we as an audience feel differently? (I ask that of myself as well as of anyone else who wants to ask it of themselves! And honestly, I probably would feel better about the killing if it was for Morse, even though rationally I know it's no different!)

I'd actually say that in the case of the killing of Kennitt there are a couple of minor mitigating factors that the first two lack:-

Fred is in the worst state mentally we ever see him in "Exeunt", and is completely falling apart; earlier in the day he had some form of heart episode or possibly severe panic attack. At any rate: he's going through hell and he is ill as a result.

I can't actually remember if he has his gun with him during the fight with Kennitt, but he certainly isn't willing to use it given the situation; the knife is Kennitt's not his, and a weapon you aren't intending to use is for practical purposes not here, so he's... taken on an armed man while essentially unarmed. Fucking berserker that he is. Rather than two people with guns going up against each other.

you can see a moment of decision in Roger's face for the killings of both Mrs C-N and Ludo; by Fred's own account to Morse (which I think we can take as honest) he didn't make any conscious decision to kill Kennitt (see above re awful mental state).

Honesty? I think that killing in immediate self-defence and/or defence-of-other is however as close to necessary and justified as killing ever gets, and I'm inclined to be extremely forgiving about all three deaths. I'm not sure Fred had a real choice in any of the three cases.

What Fred does do in the third case that really is different of course is the cover-up, in misleading everyone, in being an absolute arsehole to Morse when he comes to check on him that night. In all of it it's massively, massively understandable (as he's a) ill, b) still trying to protect Sam). Morse's sense of betrayal though is also massively understandable. Ugh. My heart hurts. *shakes fist at Russell Lewis, and also at Roger and Shaun for being so amazing*

Anyway. Do I have an overall point? Probably: Fred Thursday is a complicated character and I love him and I want to hug him and also throw things at him. He has horrible violent tendencies but he isn't a murderer under English-and-Welsh law, and I don't think s9 makes sense unless we interpret him as very mentally unwell by the end of it. Also: Morse and Thursday both need different jobs, holy shit. Also also: I reckon Morse ended up forgiving Thursday and being in touch with him, because he is pretty fair when given time to process things, and he doesn't have Morse-centered morality. Also also also: Russell Lewis is a meanie and I want more fix-it fics. ;-)

[notholaenas]

muse / colours / icarus

[yellowbluemoonshine]

"Dad, I was playing heroes with my friends when an unfamiliar man who was watching us took me away. I've never seen him before but he knew my name and my address".

"An unfamiliar man was watching you? Did he hurt you? How did he look like? Maybe we should contact the police".

"NO TALK ABOUT HEROES! Go outside, you are punished! No dinner!"

"Mom, dad, look! A little birdie! So pretty!"

"Don't put her in your mouth! You might get sick, dear. Let's wash your hands and then make a beautiful grave for poor birdie, okay?"

"We gave birth to something inhuman..."

"Dad, everyone in my class wants to be a hero! I want to be a great hero like you!"

"Okay, I'll teach you how to put your flames down and we will order a support item so you wouldn't get hurt by your quirk. But remember, being a hero isn't about a quirk, it's about your kindness and desire to help others!"

"I TOLD YOU TO STOP! REI, WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP HIM?!"

Like, at this point, I dont know what else to say.

[limjiminz]

230522 ✧ HAPPY LIM JIMIN DAY!

[hoistersao]

Struck by Lightning (a tododeku fic)

This fic is extremely self-indulgent and it's also the first fic I write here on Tumblr. angst is at an all-time high in this one, but Todoroki and Izuku are traumatized kids in canon and I like making characters suffer, what did you guys expect? also! the song part of the fic begins at "Izuku paused as mix-matched eyes met his, smiling slightly at the sight of his best friend" └──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆────┘

Deku always smiled, deku was a crybaby, and deku never got angry or actually upset. Deku smiled in the face of danger, deku was a hero and could do nothing wrong, and deku's only dream was to be a hero, but Midoriya Izuku wasn't Deku. Midoriya Izuku screamed and cried in anger, Midoriya Izuku smiled rarely, Midoriya Izuku did everything wrong, and Midoriya Izuku didn't want to be a hero, not anymore.

Endeavor's son was cold and rude, Endeavor's son hated talking to others, and Endeavor's son never cried or showed emotion in general. Endeavor's son had a perfect past, and Endeavor's Son would be a great hero, but Todoroki Shouto wasn't Endeavor's son. Todoroki Shouto tried to be kind, Todoroki Shouto cried and yelled like any normal person, Todoroki Shoto had anything but a perfect past, Todoroki Shouto never wanted to be a hero in the first place.

Midoriya Izuku and Todoroki Shouto tried to make others understand that they weren't who they thought they were, but no one seemed to understand. No matter how hard they tried... ⛈️ ⋆ ┊ .┊ ┊⋆ ┊ .┊ ┊⋆ ┊ .┊ ┊⋆ ┊ .┊ ┊⋆ ┊ .┊ ┊⋆ ┊ .┊ ┊⋆ ⛈️ Izuku walked through the dorms, ignoring the greetings sent by his classmates as he walked. The green-haired boy didn't think he could look them in the face, not right now. "I'm sorry young Midoriya, but you can no longer handle one for all...I'm afraid you must give it up."

the boy grits his teeth, the words of his mentor repeating in his head no matter how much he tried to push it away and into the dark space in his head where he pushes everything he doesn't want to remember. But he can't. He lost One for All, he lost the one thing that kept him together and the opportunity to become a hero. He was quirkless, again... his mind flashed to the doctor who originally 'diagnosed' him, making tears spring up to his eyes as he moved even faster to get to his dorm.

As soon as the door closed behind him Izuku let the tears free, sliding down the down as sobs rocked his body, the boy curled in on himself, hands wrapping around his knees and head lowering as his sobs echoed throughout the room. A drop of water hit the window, followed by more, and soon the rain accompanied the sobs that rang through the room, the constant tap tap tap washing over Izuku, the boy's sobs slowly diminished into the quiet sniffles easily overpowered by the sound of heavy rain against his window. the greenette flinched at the crack of lightning that echoed from outside, sighing softly the boy slowly stood up, legs sore from sitting in that position for so long. ... Izuku paused as he went to walk towards the showers, the sound of rain hitting the roof making him turn and instead walk towards the roof, it had been so long since he laid under the rain, and yes maybe it was a bit dangerous to go lay on a roof that had several electrical wires while there's a thunderstorm outside but who was going to stop him? The boy hummed quietly as he made his towards the door that led to the rooftop, he smiled when he finally made it to the roof, rain soaking into his clothes as he stepped out, only when he looked to the side did he notice the duo colored boy who was up there with him. ⛈️ ⋆ ┊ .┊ ┊⋆ ┊ .┊ ┊⋆ ┊ .┊ ┊⋆ ┊ .┊ ┊⋆ ┊ .┊ ┊⋆ ┊ .┊ ┊⋆ ⛈️ Shouto glared at his phone, the message seemingly mocking him as frustrated tears welled up in his eyes Todoroki Enji' ' I have found you a wife. I hope you show up to family dinner, if you don't there will be consequences. ' The mix-matched-eyed boy growled before shutting his phone off, throwing himself on the bed, and taking deep breaths to keep himself from hyperventilating. Shouto slowly relaxed into the mattress, closing his eyes and taking a few more deep breaths before getting up again with plans of getting water and completely ignoring the text before the tap of rain hitting the window made him pause, the boy had always enjoyed just sitting under the rain whenever he was upset, the memory of his mom smiling down at him as they danced in the rain made him the corners of his mouth tick up into a smile before nodding to himself and making his way towards the roof in hopes to enjoy the rain. ⛈️ ⋆ ┊ .┊ ┊⋆ ┊ .┊ ┊⋆ ┊ .┊ ┊⋆ ┊ .┊ ┊⋆ ┊ .┊ ┊⋆ ┊ .┊ ┊⋆ ⛈️

Izuku paused as mix-matched eyes met his, smiling slightly at the sight of his best friend It's storming out, maybe you should come inside And tell me why you don't wanna be alive

"what are you doing here Shouto?" the smaller boy spoke, trying to grasp why his friend was also here, he didn't think the other boy enjoyed the rain, it never came to his mind but it would be great to have something in common. If you don't respond, I'll put my shoes on And lay down on the pavement next to you When he didn't receive a response he simply smiled, the boy was probably also here because he was upset, and sometimes it's best to just have someone there than someone to speak to, so he decided to sit down next to Todoroki who paused for a moment before a small smile outlined his face. If we get struck, at least we'll make the news The news when the sound of lightning reached his ears again, Shouto couldn't help but wonder- "Hey Izuku?" said boy hummed in response "Do you think if we died, hit by lightning, we'd make the news?" Izuku paused before smiling, small giggles leaving his mouth "Oh yeah, definitely! I mean imagine it-" What a way to go out Something this town will forever talk about The two kids who were laying down And struck by lightning in front of your house "-the press will never let UA live that down! Two 1-A students struck by lightning at the rooftop of UA High! god! I can already see it! what a way to go out huh?" Shouto hummed, nodding in agreement "Yeah, I can see it." In the mud, sinking down Thinking of everything I have to think about You shut me up, look at the clouds As lightning struck

Shouto couldn't help but forget the thoughts that plagued his mind as he spoke with Midoriya, the boy pushing those thoughts away like a freight train, the small but genuine only he got to see playing on his face, he looked up at the clouds as lightning struck again, the sounds of the storm becoming nice background music. What a way to go out Something this town will forever talk about The two kids who were laying down And struck by lightning in front of your house And kids out on the playgrounds Years from now will say, "Did you ever hear about The two kids who were laying down And struck by lightning in front of your house?"

Shouto continued to listen in on Izuku's rambling "Oh! do you think future students will talk about us if we did die? Will they tell stories of the two students who were struck by lightning on UA's rooftop?" Shouto could only hum, he didn't have the answer after all, maybe if they did die they could be able to find out "Yeah, good point!" oh, had he said that out loud? Izuku chuckled "Yeah, you did! don't worry I do it a lot too!" Maybe on a sunny day You might have some things to say But if you don't, that's okay Izuku wondered if another day Shouto would speak his mind freely like that again, maybe, but if he didn't Izuku would speak enough for both of them.

What a way to go out Something this town will forever talk about The two kids who were laying down And struck by lightning in front of your house Izuku and Shouto kept talking, oblivious to just how bad the storm had gotten until they heard the spark of electricity and looked up just as a bolt descended right where they were sitting, neither of them had time to react before the electricity moved through them, making them both cry out in pain before everything went numb, the last thing both students saw was each other, small smiles playing on their faces from their last moments together. A few wires started sparking, with electricity, buzzing their passed-out bodies with even more electricity. And kids out on the playgrounds Years from now will say, "Did you ever hear about The two kids who were laying down And struck by lightning in front of your house?" The two boys were found that morning and after tons of procedures were pronounced dead.

As lightning struck And struck by lightning in front of your house "Midoriya Izuku and Todoroki Shouto died of a Lightning strike on the rooftop of UA High."

The end.

[bibibbon]

I honestly hate that Dabi’s abuse has to be debated. Like, it’s pretty clear as day that he was neglected by Enji.

The sheer fact that Touya was literally harming himself to be even noticed by his father should’ve been a massive red flag!

“Oh but Enji did the best he could-“ No, he didn’t? Enji could’ve at least put Touya through some mental health care or you know, STOP LIVING THROUGH HIS FUCKING KIDS!

Also, another thing that grosses me out about the MHA fandom is how people “joke” about how Rei only stayed was because Endeavor had a big sholng and that’s just pretty disgusting in of itself

Hi @palesweetscherryblossom 👋

Absolutely I hate the fact that what the todoroki family all went through has to be debated if it's abuse or not. I have seen people say that shoto was never abused and that enji done nothing wrong by training shoto to the point he puked his guts out at the age of 5 or that enji wasn't in the wrong for purposefully neglecting touya and inserting very harmful ideologies in his head. No enji may have not of abused touya physically but he definitely did abuse touya by neglecting him (neglect is a form of abuse!!!!)

It's still surprising that people can't pick up on the fact that enji very much did neglect touya and shoved the hero ideology down touya's throat (Iam aware that touya's backstory came from enjis pov probably to make enji look better but even with that there are clear signs of neglect)

Chapter 301 to 302 literally had touya say multiple times that it was enji who "lit this fire beneath him to beat all might and become a great hero". The blame is on enji and should be put on him for trying to use a child to live his own foolish dream while also filling the child's mind with harmful ideologies and ideas (I know full well that the whole girl comment that touya made towards fuyumi was directly influenced from enjis thinking and what enji probably told touya when he would ask whenever fuyumi wouldn't train with them)

The thing that some people can't seem to fully grasp is that touya was approximately 7 when all of his training stopped and he was abandoned by enji. Touya had a good 3 years spent being around enji almost 24/7 learning from him and being built to be this powerful masterpiece that is his father's favourite and all of that got taken from him because his body couldn't handle it. Now for a child at that age it would be difficult to understand why his father doesn't talk or love him anymore because I bet full well that touya probably connected enji training him = father son bonding time and as a sign that enji loves and cares for him the most. This is the reason why touya continues to train and harm himself so he can get enji's attention. In the end it was more about enji's love and attention than it was about becoming a hero. For touya becoming a hero was the key to his father's love and attention and that key was robbed from him because his body wasn't compatible with his quirk.

You have Rei literally calling out enji's neglect and behaviour saying that touya is only doing this because he wants his father's attention but enji replies saying that the only attention he can give is showing the path of a hero which is something that touya cant do. This literally goes to prove touya's own thinking as right. The only way touya can get his father's attention and love is by being the best machine to let his father's dream live through him. Touya needed to be the perfect puppet so his father could love him.

Then there's the fact that touya was Ultimately around 8 or so when he found out about the himura family and their secrets and why his mother is having children. All of that is too complex for a child and honestly traumatising to learn about but touya knew it from an incredibly young age. @thr0wnawayy 's post goes into more detail about touya learning what Rei had to go through and his whole family situation.

Enji should of helped touya understand it's not his fault, he should of loved his children equally and should of definitely given him therapy (the guy is rich there's no excuse for him not to take his child to a therapist)

Oh and don't even get me started on the fandoms messed up jokes when it comes to enji and Rei. It's like they don't even read the manga and realise that Rei didn't have a choice in any of this. She didn't stay because she liked it or because she wanted to, the poor women didn't have a choice at all.

[nabwastaken]

Nab's Pinned Post!

Here it is folks! I've finally decided to make a pinned post about myself!

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[mywingsareonwheels]

1974.

Morse is interviewing witnesses to a murder at one of the colleges, and one of them is strikingly familiar. He's a man in his early twenties, a recent medical graduate back visiting friends before heading off to move into a totally different career. He has a posh accent, a friendly smile, warm brown eyes.

Oh he's truly, desperately familiar, and Morse isn't looking too hard into his own motives when he lets the younger man talk him into a drink out, and then a one-night stand, and then something rather more like a friendship played out over Scotch and crosswords and literary quotations.

[More behind the cut....]

He does mention, briefly, that his new friend reminded him of someone else on first meeting. And somehow that turns into a discussion of ancestry, and the young man discusses with some glee the skeleton in his family cupboard: the fact that his paternal grandmother when barely eighteen had a dalliance with a working-class ruffian of the same age from Mile End, of all places. That she'd got pregnant, but her parents wouldn't let her tell the lad, but instead got her engaged to a somewhat stuffy friend of theirs called Richardson.

"Dad hates to talk about it," says Morse's friend, "he's rather a stuffed shirt, especially for a surgeon. But Granny used to love telling me stories. She did come to love my Granddad, I think, but she missed that boy from Mile End all her life." He chuckles, but a little shakily, because he has yet to learn the effortless-seeming confidence he'll spread before him one day. "I'd give anything to meet him."

Morse swallows, heart suddenly in his mouth. And something in his face makes the young man carry on, more intensely.

"Granny told me that she named Dad after him, though he doesn't know. So that's what I have: Frederick, from Mile End. Fathered a child around 1930 when he was just a lad and doesn't even know he did." He laughs, wryly. "Not much to go on, is it."

"Douglas," says Morse, and his voice is shaking but there's a smile in his eyes. "I... I'll need to look into this, but I think. I mean. I think I can help."

The postcard is of York Minster, which is only a half hour drive from where three exiles from Oxford have settled. On the back it reads just:

"Sir,

Un bel di, please could we talk? There's someone I think you should meet. Bring 2 rounds ham and tomato sandwiches. --"

At the day and time thus ordered, Fred Thursday finds Morse standing admiring the rose window, and follows him out to a bench in the Minster gardens. He's torn between confusion and shame, though above all trying to hide how overjoyed he is to see the rusty curls and those haughty, sea-green eyes again. When Morse explains, and introduces the young trainee pilot with a face Fred remembers from his mirror as a long-lost grandson... well, it's good he's already sitting down, is all.

The years past, and they are gentler than they might have been.

Fred lives to see his grandson a captain, to meet his great-granddaughter. To introduce his grandson to his uncle and step-grandmother and eventually even his aunt. To become friends with Morse again, even if quietly, and for the most part only by letter. To relish that Douglas and Morse, despite occasionally enraging each other beyond reason, seem to be friends for life. (He suspects that they might once have been more than that; if they aren't going to tell him though, he's not going to point it out.) Something healed in him that day in York, and it never breaks again.

When Captain Douglas Richardson puts down the bottle, in an attempt to salvage something of his career and his relationship with his daughter, perhaps it's partly because he's still grieving for his grandfather, dead some ten years now, but most of all because he's still grieving for his friend and one-time lover, and doesn't want to die so young himself.

When First Officer Douglas Richardson meets his new captain at MJN's portacabin in Fitton, he's a little strikingly familiar too. He's shorter, and more pompous, and vastly less good at word games, but there are rusty curls and haughty sea-green eyes.

He's no relation of Morse's at all though, it turns out. This is, eventually, rather a relief.

[future-dregs]

Tattoo this on my fucking body