#tw referenced mcd

[serickswrites]

Comfort & Joy

Warnings: grief, death, mcd, referenced mcd

Caretaker hated this time of year. They hated everything about it: the joy, the gatherings, and most of all, they hated that it reminded them of Whumpee.

Whumpee loved the holiday season. They lived for this time of year. As soon as Caretaker would allow it, Whumpee would decorate the entire house and bask in the glory of the holiday. They loved everything about the season.

"I see you everywhere," Caretaker said to the dark and empty house. "How can I not? Every window display. Every house that's decorated. It all reminds me of you." Caretaker closed their eyes against the tears that were threatening to overwhelm them. "I....I don't mind thinking about you. But when I do.....when I do I always end up thinking about what happened."

Caretaker didn't want to think about what happened to Whumpee. Didn't want to think about when they didn't know what happened. Didn't want to think about finding Whumpee. Or what was left after Whumper had grown tired of them and disposed of their body. Caretaker didn't want to think about that. They couldn't.

"Whumpee, I can't do this. I can't live without you like this. I can't. YOu always said this time of year was full of miracles. So can you do one for me now? Can you please just come back. Can you come back healed and whole? Can you please, please just be alive again. I can't live without you, Whumpee."

Despite Caretaker's sobbing, despite their begging, the house remained cold and dark. As it had every day since Whumpee's body was recovered. As it would remain until Caretaker's grief was no longer all consuming.

Tags: @mousepaw @jumpywhumpywriter @knightinbatteredarmor @hufflepuffwritingstuff2 @anightmarishwhump

@steh-lar-uh-nuhs @celestialsoyeon @st0rmm @ay5ksal @pedro-pedro-pedro-pedro-pe

@pepeniascat

[written-by-jayy]

Watermelon's Whump Game #1

Song: everything i wanted; by Billie Eilish

Prompts: Drowning - Accident - Cliff's edge

TW: Drowning, Car 'accident', Suicide, referenced past sa (vaguely), mcd

Word count: 488

A/N: only a few days late TwT lol. this one's kinda heavy but I hope you enjoy!

prompt by: @watermelons-whump-game, thanks!

Masterlist

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It wasn’t really an accident, was it?

But it looked like one. They’d all think it was just a tragic mistake. One slip of the wheel in her hands. One too many late nights studying. One phone call to steal her attention for a few too many seconds.

And that's what she wanted. She never wanted anyone to realize her true suffering. They'd blame themselves. She didn't want that. She only had herself to blame. She was the who couldn't seem to find the appeal to therapy, she was the one who pretended to be okay, she was the who made the decision that late night on her way home from the library, and ultimately, all that mattered was that she was the one who carried it out.

The perfect crime.

As she felt her lungs burn, her body tense against the cold ocean water, she thought about the funeral. Who would attend? Would anyone? Would there be a body? Who would speak? What would be remembered only in her absence that would have otherwise stay forgotten?

Her aching body finally came to rest softly at the ocean floor.

She never meant to drown herself. She thought the impact of the car against the guardrail would at least throw her into unconsciousness… she had done this to end her suffering, not cause more. At least it would end soon. She knew it was pointless to try to make it to the surface at this rate, anyway.

So she waited. And she thought.

She didn't regret her decision. Just the method.

Staring up, she admired the way the moon beams wavered with the movement of the sea. She saw her own air leaving her body in bubbles, more desperate to surface than herself. She reached her arm toward the sky, as if trying to grasp the calm waves, and watched her hand move, curiously.

She thought of the scene above her, on that ledge. The totaled car crushed against a deformed guardrail, the shattered windshield from which she had been flung, the untouched seatbelt. Would the latter be enough to give her away? Would it be noticed? Would they brush it off as carelessness?

She gasped on water, as if her body desperately wanted to survive what her soul had brought upon herself. She no longer was connected to her body. She had felt this before but in a much different context. She hated her lack of control over her own reflexes and limbs.

This wasn't his fault either. She had forgiven him a long time ago. Though she still couldn't find it in her to grant herself and her body the same mercy.

As she gagged and choked on the salty sea water, as her hand went limp and sank back down to the sea floor, and as the light of the moon faded through her eyelids, she only had one regret;

That she hadn't done this sooner.

[serenaew]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💙

Thank you and @givereadersahug for the tag, and sorry it took me 2 months to answer XD

Five fics that I've written... you torture me by making me choose!

tagging @sanctuary-angel, @renee561, @bintemuhammad, @trueliarose, @ttime42 (please don't be offended if I did / didn't tag you and you don't like it XD)

So, I decided to go for some of my less popular ones. But they're all my babies!

(list under the cut)

Snarry:

Wish not for a soul that is full of sin (4798 words incl. meta) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Harry Potter/Severus Snape Characters: Severus Snape, Harry Potter Additional Tags: Merman Severus Snape, Severus Snape Lives, Pining, Inspired by Music, Classical Music, Rusalka (Dvorak), Undine (de la Motte Fouque + Reinecke), tw: near-drowning, Art, Digital Art, Poetry, Playlist, Fairy Tale Elements, Fairy Tale Retellings, merfolk lore, Worldbuilding, Romanticism, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE Series: Part 1 of Ondine's Curse (will happen, one day.) Prologue to the merman!Snape, amnesia AU no one asked for, with gorgeous Merman!Snape art by @hereiamwithmyninjaclan.

Severitus:

Christmas in Limbo (4623 words, WIP: 3/7) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Harry Potter & Severus Snape, implied past Lily Evans Potter/Severus Snape Characters: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Lily Evans Potter Additional Tags: Canonical Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, Temporary Character Death, quite dark at times, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Not Canon Compliant - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Severitus | Severus Snape is Harry Potter's Parent, Afterlife - sort of, Time Travel, Angst, Eventual Happy Ending, Lily meddles from beyond, Alternate Universe - A Christmas Carol Fusion, Implied Dissociation, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, We Need To Mess It Up To Fix It, Are We Sure This Ish Is For Children, Physics is Hard Series: Part 1 of Christmas in Limbo 'Verse

My (quite dark) attempt at a Severitus Christmas Carol Fusion. I hope to finish it this Christmas - I even have the ending drafted but I'm stuck for Ch. 4.

[Fic and Podfic] Ouroboros in Tribute (790 words) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Harry Potter & Severus Snape Characters: Severus Snape, Harry Potter, Lily Evans Potter (mentioned) Additional Tags: Poetry, Sonnets, Crown (Poetry form), Podfic, Podfic Length: 0-10 Minutes, Severitus | Severus Snape is Harry Potter's Parent, Sad Severitus, Past Lily Evans Potter/Severus Snape, Hidden parentage, Severus Snape is Harry Potter's biological father, Grief/Mourning, Sad, Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Emotional Hurt No Comfort, POV Severus Snape, Second Wizarding War with Voldemort (Harry Potter), Harry Potter MIA, Implied/Referenced Character Death, (telling you more would give away too much of the sequels), Series: Part 1 of Forget Me Not

This is not, strictly speaking, a fic (poem & podfic, actually), but I am really proud of what I cooked up with my words.

Be warned: it hurts.

And, from the same universe: it is time (for it to be time) (3327 words, WIP: 1/5) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Harry Potter & Severus Snape, Past Lily Evans Potter/Severus Snape - Relationship Characters: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Lily Evans Potter Additional Tags: alternative universe, Post-War, Severitus, Sad Severitus, Angst, Emotional Hurt No Comfort, Hidden parentage, POV Severus Snape, Severus Snape Lives, Harry Potter missing in action, Presumed Dead, implied MCD, Second Wizarding War with Voldemort (Harry Potter), Grief/Mourning, Five Stages of Grief, Memories, Ritual Magic, Diary/Journal, Non-Linear Narrative Series: Part 2 of Forget Me Not

Really looking forward to finishing this - I'm a bit of a sadist and like turturing my readers and my characters with all the emotional pain.

Other HP Gen: (considering I wrote exactly one work for Doctor Who, and that's it in terms of writing fandoms for me - I am quite a bit more diverse in my audio work.)

Whoso list to hunt (2021 words) Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Aberforth Dumbledore & Severus Snape Characters: Aberforth Dumbledore, Severus Snape Additional Tags: Hog's Head Inn (Harry Potter), Unspeakables (Harry Potter), Unspeakable Aberforth Dumbledore, Job Interview, Pre-Canon, Unspeakable Recruit Severus Snape, Good Severus Snape Series: Part 4 of Unspeakable Mysteries Universe (will happen, as well, wone day)

Well, technically, this is also Snarry-adjacent, considering I wrote this as pre-prequel to the Unspeakable Mysteries Universe. This idea is my trying to say that Aberforth has massive Underesteimated Character Potential (tm).

[sasdavvero]

sasdavvero BNHA One-Shots Masterlist

Other Fandoms [No.6 - JJK] Masterlist

complete masterlist

they are in chronological order, from the first I published to the most recent unless specified, the ff are on Ao3

My Hero Academia

No Need For Words: one-shot, Dabi-centric, dabi&hawks [ita]

Hoping That's Enough: one-shot, Dabi/Hawks, angst and fluff (implied/referenced su*cide attempt) [ita]

That Day: one-shot, Dabi-centric, angst [ita]

Even If It's Fake: one-shot, Dabi/Hawks, unrequited love [ita-ao3/ita-efp/eng]

Tap Tap Tap: one-shot, Dabi/Hawks,fluff, post-canon [ita-ao3/ita-efp/eng]

Fake: one-shot, AroAce DabiHawks, first kiss [ita/eng]

I Miss You: one-shot, Hero!Dabi, character study/vent, TW // eating disorder [eng]

Nontiscordardimé: one-shot, Dabi/Hawks, MCD, hurt no comfort [ita-ao3/ita-efp]

Che Dio Ci Benedica: one-shot, Dabi/Hawks, smut and blasphemy (kinda crack) [ita]

Look: one-shot, POV 2nd person, Dabi-centric, Dabi/Hawks, requited unrequited love [eng]

I Want You: one-shot, Fem!DabiHawks, PWP, fluff kinda [ita-ao3/ita-efp]

Sete : one-shot, Dabi/Hawks, PWP, starts crackish, becomes smutty and goes to fluff [ita-ao3/ita-efp]

Fashion Advice: one-shot, Dabi&Alt!Dabi, Crack Treated Seriously, how Dabi chose his new look [ita-ao3/ita-efp]

Una Cena Con Inferno: one-shot, Dabi, TW // eating disorder [ita-ao3/ita-efp]

Letter To A Once Lover: one-shot, Fem!DabiHawks, AU - corruption/ the villains won, Letter [eng]

Only a Dream: Possession!Hawks/Canon!Hawks, PWP [eng]

No. 6

Home: one-shot, Nezushi, melancholic, slice of life [ita-ao3/ita-efp/eng/Tumblr link]

What Do You See? : one-shot, implied Nezushi, for the No.6 Secret Santa 2022, angst [eng/tumblr link]

Jujutsu Kaisen

Preferences: one-shot, Yuuta in the boobs scene but bi [eng]

just to try: one-shot, Yuuta/Inumaki, first kiss, fluff [eng/ita-efp/ita-wattpad]

Ligma: one-shot Yuuta/Inumaki, PWP (bj/hj), crack threated seriously [eng]

will it be enough for you?: one-shot, Yuuta/Inumaki, PWP + food as a metaphor for love [eng]

[the-great-lightwood-bane]

fic masterpost

figured I should probably make one of these | she_who_reads on AO3 | no permanent MCD or unhappy endings | no smut | all posted to AO3, some also on Tumblr | putting it under the cut because this got LONG

Consul Alec Lightwood (soon to be Lightwood-Bane) Malec | G, no warnings | One-shot | Missing scene from QoAaD in which Alec tells Magnus that he was elected Consul | AO3

bargaining (for you) Malec | G, tw amnesia | ch 8/8 | Alec makes a different deal with Asmodeus. Angst follows. | AO3 | Series (extras) | Tumblr

Whumptober 2021 (Series on AO3)

together Malec | G, tw canon-typical violence | ch 5/5 | Alec has been kidnapped. We're not sure by whom, though… | AO3

hunger Malec | G, no warnings | one-shot | Magnus is magically exhausted for the first time since the Owl incident. It brings back bad memories. | AO3

an eye for an eye (a son for a son) Malec | G, tw minor self-harm & vampirism | ch 4/4 | An alternate universe in which Imogen Herondale demanded justice for the death of her son when the Circle fell, and the Lightwoods didn't get off so scot-free | AO3

hope (and the lack of it) Malec | G, tw magical illness | one-shot | missing scenes from QoAaD when Magnus is sick with the blight | AO3

flightless angel Malec | G, tw violence, blood | two-shot | Canon divergence from CoHF in which Shadowhunters have wings, Raphael lives, and a different deal is made to escape Edom | AO3

by proxy Malec | G, tw canon-typical violence, torture | two-shot | Magnus’s voice was hoarse from screaming, and his wrists chafed from the magic-suppressing cuffs on his wrists, but he was otherwise unharmed. He wished he wasn’t: if he had been the one getting beat up, his husband wouldn’t be. | AO3

don't you die on me Malec | G, tw canon-typical violence, presumed character death | two-shot | And then, to Alec’s horror, the Alliance rune on his wrist flickered, and he looked to Magnus just in time to see him fall. | AO3

bleeding through the bandages Malec | G, tw canon-typical violence, blood & injury | one-shot | Magnus is stabbed with a seraph blade fighting Circle members. | AO3

immortality (and what a certain Shadowhunter will do to get it) Malec | G, tw blood | one-shot | Alec figures out how to become immortal. This is how it happens. | AO3

escape (getting home) Malec | T, tw implied/referenced torture | two-shot | Alec is kidnapped by Circle members. He escapes. | AO3

adrift Malec | G, tw dehydration | ch 3/3 | In a few days, Alec would be dead. His head ached dully, his mouth felt dry. He tried to stand up, and his head spun for a few moments before he steadied. He wished he could see Magnus one last time. | AO3

self-sacrifice Malec | G, tw self-sacrifice, suicide for saving others purposes (no MCD) | one-shot | that scene from Sherlock BBC (s4e3) where Sherlock has to choose between killing John and killing Mycroft, except with Shadowhunters | AO3

learning to love Malec | G, tw implied/referenced & internalised homophobia & aphobia | one-shot | Alec was sixteen when he realized that he was asexual. A story of self-discovery, of coming out (the first time, and then again, and again), and of acceptance. | AO3 | Tumblr

libertate bellantis Malec | T, tw canon-typical violence, implied/referenced torture | ch 17/17 | They met in a coffee shop. Alec, a member of the Resistance, Commander and Acting Head of New York. Magnus, known to the Shadowhunters only as Bane, one of the most powerful warlocks in the world. Both think the other is mundane. (Both are wrong.) Both will find out the truth. Plus, Valentine has been leading a worldwide Clave-sanctioned genocide of the Downworld for the last twenty-five years, and now Alec and Magnus have to work together to stop him... | AO3 | Series (sequel and extras)

Unforeseen (series) Malec | T, tw canon-typical violence | 3 works | Alec has magic, Malec are very soft, and there are shenanigans. | Series on AO3 | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Deruned Malec | G, tw derunement | one-shot | An alternate universe in which Alec didn't marry Lydia, but he didn't kiss Magnus at the wedding, either. There are more consequences than you might think. | Inspired by Universes of You by giidas | AO3

Febuwhump 2022 (Series on AO3 | Tumblr Masterpost)

Choices and Self-Sacrificial Tendencies Malec | G, tw demonic possession | two-shot | Magnus is possessed. Alec doesn't want to hurt him. | AO3 | Tum/blr

dreaming of you Malec | G, tw minor mention of blood | two-shot | Magnus knows he’ll never have a soulmate — he’s the son of a Prince of Hell, after all. Alec has been dreaming of his soulmate for as long as he can remember. | AO3 | Tumblr

Chronic Pain Malec | G, tw chronic pain | one-shot | Alec has chronic pain. Magnus finds out, and does what he can to help. | AO3 | Tumblr

bone deep Malec | G, tw unconsciousness, hypothermia, delirium | two-shot | Magnus’s skin was cold to the touch. | AO3 | Tum/blr

home Malec | G, tw illness, mention of death | one-shot | An unknown disease sweeps across the Shadow World. | AO3 | Tumblr

hidden scars Malec | G, tw scars, discussion of past injury | one-shot | After a fight, Magnus can’t keep up the glamour that usually covers his old scars. Feels and hurt/comfort follow. | AO3 | Tumblr

magic (is more than the caster) Malec | G, tw human experimentation | two-shot | Malec get captured, Valentine is an evil maniac, Magnus is a BAMF, and his magic loves Alec almost as much as he does. | AO3 | Tum/blr

Belief Malec | G, tw canon-typical violence, body-swap | one-shot | Alec knew two things: he couldn’t risk letting Valentine free, and he couldn’t risk letting Magnus die. (2x12 canon divergence.) | AO3 | Tumblr

growing pains Malec | G, tw descriptions of pain, mention of suicide | one-shot | Alec is poisoned at a Clave function. Magnus makes the antidote in time, but everything is not over yet. | AO3 | Tumblr

with great power Malec | G, tw earthquake | one-shot | There’s a lot of responsibility associated with great power. Magnus has the opportunity to stop a tsunami. | AO3 | Tumblr

burning bright Malec | G, tw canon-typical violence, blood | one-shot | Trapped under a magic-suppressing ward without access to weapons, Magnus uses an ability Alec didn’t know he had. | AO3 | Tumblr

Gospels Malec | T, tw swearing, mention of kidnapping and torture | one-shot | Magnus Bane has been taken. Alec Lightwood is not merciful in his quest to take him back. (Conversations during the in-betweens and the after from Revelations by ClinicalChaos.) | AO3

let your voice be heard Malec | G, no warnings | one-shot | Shadowhunters don’t sing. aka five times Alec remembered that he wasn’t supposed to sing, and five times he knew he could (because this 5+1 idea is totally unbalanced and the characters deserve better). | AO3 | Tumblr

Shadowhunters Pride Bingo 2022 (Series on AO3 | Tumblr Masterpost)

of love & names Magnus-centric, Malec | G, tw transphobia | one-shot | The best thing that Asmodeus ever did for him, Magnus sometimes thought, was letting him choose his own name. Or: Magnus is trans, has friends, and (finally) feels accepted. | AO3 | Tumblr

U — Understanding [Shadowhunters Ace ABC] Alec-centric, Malec | G, tw internalised & institutionalised homophobia | one-shot | Isabelle realised that her brother was not straight when she was fifteen and he was sixteen. Or: Izzy loves her brother, but some wounds go deeper than she can fix. (Ft. gratuitous light/dark metaphors, sibling antics, and angst with a happy ending.) | AO3 | Tumblr

of colourful nails & the defeat of homophobes Malec | G, tw homophobia | one-shot | Magnus’ nails glowed with every colour of the rainbow. Or, Alec paints his nails and is politically savvy. | AO3 | Tumblr

N — Natural [Shadowhunters Ace ABC] Malec | G, tw internalized & external homophobia & aphobia | one-shot | Alec is ace and gay, Maryse is evil, Alec meets a certain Magnus Bane, and the road to self-acceptance is long and hard — but it's a bit easier when you have friends and family to support you. (Ft. pining idiots and Alec writing books.) | AO3 | Tumblr

sweeter than sugar Malec | G, tw minor mention of homophobia | one-shot | Pretty boy. Darling. Alexander. Sayang. Husband. Five times Magnus called Alec something that wasn't his name, and one time Alec returned the favour. | AO3 | Tumblr

G — Gaze [Shadowhunters Ace ABC] Magnus-centric, Malec | G, tw aphobia | one-shot | Magnus sometimes found the gazes of strangers unnerving. Or, Magnus is demisexual and sex-positive, people are not always understanding, Camille is a bitch, and Alec loves Magnus. | AO3 | Tumblr

pull me closer Jimon | G, tw mention of Jace's abusive childhood, panic attacks | one-shot | For most of Jace’s life, his assumption that he was straight went unchallenged. Jace is definitely not straight and in love with Clary. That doesn't change just because Simon's cute and funny and brave and— well, Jace is straight, so obviously he doesn't like Simon that way. (Right?) | AO3 | Tumblr

(beyond) this place of wrath and tears Malec | T, tw for mention (not graphic) of the following: biphobia, racism (anti-Downworlder and anti-POC), whatever it's called when people want men not to wear makeup, suicidal thoughts, and depression | one-shot | People tend to hate what they do not understand, and while Magnus can ignore most cruel words, he sometimes fears there might be a fragment of truth in them. Fortunately, he has Alec. | AO3 | Tumblr

Never Alone Malec | G, tw violence, reference to rape/non-con, and vampirism, all at canon levels | ch 21/21 | In a world where Shadowhunters’ dæmons never lose the ability to change shape, Clary spends her eighteenth birthday learning why Hunter can still shift. Or, a shameless fix-it featuring BAMF Magnus and Alec, logical problem-solving rather than the disaster that was Jace, Izzy, and Clary — and, of course, Malec falling in love (in a slightly less difficult situation). | AO3 | Tumblr

the implications of language Malec | G, tw minor reference to Magnus' mother's suicide | one-shot | Indonesian is Magnus' mother tongue — the language he slips into when he doesn't have the presence of mind for anything else. Alec wants to learn. | AO3 | Tumblr

bloody but unbowed Malec | G, tw implied/referenced torture, discrimination against Downworlders | one-shot | Twenty years ago, the Circle won. Six years ago, Alec Lightwood began freeing every Downworlder to enter the Institute’s cells. A week ago, he was caught. Nobody’s going to free him. | AO3 | Tumblr

Whumptober 2022 (Masterpost | Series on AO3)

Unscheduled Meetings Malec | G, tw canonical MCD for Thule Malec but not for other versions of Malec | one-shot | A (relatively) everyday trip to confront a warlock results in something decidedly not everyday. Who would’ve thought Alec’s magic held the key to unlocking the multiverse? | AO3 | Series on AO3 | Tumblr

Could Cry Power Malec | G, tw kidnapping | one-shot | People are disappearing from New York, and Alec has no idea why. What he finds out is worse than he’d expected. | AO3 | Tumblr

mothers & sons Malec | G, tw suicide attempt | one-shot | Maryse is evil and there are some particularly nasty spells hidden in the Institute’s archives. What follows will leave scars. | AO3 | Tumblr

of demons & protection spells Malec | G, tw canon-typical violence, self-harm | one-shot | Maryse Lightwood doesn't show up at Magnus' door, but instead helps Alec kill Jonathan. Magnus leaves New York, heartbroken, but refuses to join his father in Edom. Asmodeus isn't happy about that. | AO3 | Tumblr

(and if i couldn't walk) i'd crawl to you Malec | G, tw blood loss, canon-typical violence | one-shot | A routine patrol goes wrong, and Alec is left bleeding out in an alley. | AO3 | Tumblr

[wheezykat]

I posted 1,983 times in 2022

7 posts created (0%)

1,976 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@peachpety

@vukovich

@museiums

@ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm

I tagged 530 of my posts in 2022

#drarry - 41 posts

#lmfao - 13 posts

#pansy mf parkinson - 11 posts

#drarry fanart - 9 posts

#i wanna live in a house filled with joy's art - 9 posts

#my baby is a real peach 🍑 - 9 posts

#stranger things - 8 posts

#harry potter - 8 posts

#ginsy - 8 posts

#draco malfoy - 8 posts

Longest Tag: 69 characters

#🤣❤💕👀🥺😊👍😂😘😍😏😭😀😅😩🥵🦝🔥🍵😐🌵😤😌📚🦊🥴👁😔😳🧋🏔🕯🍊😠🤔

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Chapters: 1/6 Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy/Others (Offscreen) Characters: Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, Original Muggle Character(s) Additional Tags: Angst, It gets better I promise, Down and Out Draco Malfoy, Draco Malfoy in the Muggle World, Post-War, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Sex Worker Draco Malfoy, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Panic Attacks, Touch Averse Draco Malfoy, References to Depression, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, (not between drarry and offscreen), these warnings sound dark but i promise it's not all that, Eventual Happy Ending, Coffee Shops, Coffee Shop Owner Draco Malfoy, Explicit Sexual Content, Eventual Smut, there are SOME feelings in here, as per usual, Illustration by Babooshkart, (feat in ch 2), Angst and Hurt/Comfort Summary:

After the war, Draco tries to make a life in the Muggle world.

Potter keeps showing up.

14 notes - Posted September 24, 2022

#4

❤ last lines! ❤

Thanks @phd-mama for tagging me!!

I've been working like crazy instead of writing (s i g h) BUT. I do have something for this :) from my self indulgent Panama ginsy fic!

“Mmm, el mundo es un pañuelo,” Parkinson murmers, reaching up to twist her long black hair to one side, “Only so many places to go, Ginevra.” 

Tagging my best bbs and beans @amorsindolor @vukovich @peachpety @calypsotempete @wynnyfryd @secretartlair @academicdisaster24 @nv-md @fw00shy @the-sinking-ship

24 notes - Posted February 4, 2022

#3

drarry tag game

Thank you @calypsotempete and @vukovich for tagging me! How fun. Lol.

When did you get into Drarry and why? I was actually a Jily/Wolfstar shipper back in OG fandom days, and sometimes I would read Viktor/Hermione fic and drarry would be the side pairing. Anyhoo, got back into fandom in 2019 and went down the rabbit hole looking for some of my favorite older fics, somehow ended up in dramione-land and read practically every fic on AO3 for the pairing (I know this sounds crazy, and I wouldn’t believe it if it hadn’t happened to me 😂💀) and then was sad that I had read mostly everything. Dabbled a bit in Drarry fics, reading them at random while waiting for new WIP chapters, for a few months. Then I made a Tumblr. I saw art for Running on Air by @tinyhistory. I am a simple raccoon, I see pretty things, I click. I ended up reading the entire fic in one sitting. 

Which Drarry fic hooked you?  The Fallout by everythursday (Dramione) is the fic that dragged me back to fandom kicking and screaming. Running on Air is what brought me over to Drarry (and by god, is it beautiful!!), but the fic that truly hooked me was Tea and No Sympathy by who_la_hoop.  I think that same week after I finished it, after the requisite amount of time spent staring at a wall and feeling as if my entire life had changed, I sat down and read through all of bix/firethesound/loveglows/lqt fics. There was not a lot of sleep happening. Lol.

Top three favorite Drarry fics: this was so difficult 😂 my 400 bookmarks are yelling at me! 

1. Coming Home by @nerdherderette

M, 9.8k - TWs: MCD, Grief/Mourning, Mild Sexual Content

Three years after his world was shattered, Harry tries to pick up the pieces at the place he once called home. 

I literally can’t even count the amount of times I’ve read this fic - I know that in 2021 I read it 18 times. 💀💀 And I’ve begged countless people to read it. It’s so gorgeous; the prose is exactly what you expect, entirely captivating and encompassing, and Harry’s grief feels so real. Though we don’t get a happy ending here, there’s something about this fic that holds my entire heart. This story taught me a lot as a writer about how a story doesn’t need to be fairy tales  and rainbows at the end to have a striking and meaningful conclusion that feels right. 

2. genesis (you don’t know what it means to win) by crossourbridges

T, 73.5k - No TWs

Harry Potter didn’t help the Malfoy’s because he owed them; he did it because it was the right thing to do. He’s not sure why he keeps going back to visit, except that it seems to annoy Draco Malfoy and he loves annoying Draco Malfoy.

Ya’ll. This Harry. He is the ultimate characterization for me. Honestly, this type of fic is largely not my style - it’s kind of light-hearted and humorous, and there is no smut (😭). BUT. and this is a huge but. The writing is so dynamic, and the drarry banter is SPOT ON, and there’s even some lovely interaction with Narcissa, who I absolutely adore in this story. It’s SO GOOD. I find myself coming back to this fic as a comfort read (because who doesn’t read 74k words for comfort). I absolutely fall in love with the boys all over again every time. I tend to keep this fic open in my tabs, that’s how often I read it!

3. the space between (what you want and what you need) by  disapparater  

M, 13.6k - TWs: major character injury, disability, sexual dysfunction

As a specialist Healer in dark magic, Draco has had his fair share of difficult cases and awkward patients. Still, nothing has prepared him for a curse-paralysed Harry Potter.

Okay. I’m not going to lie. This isn’t an easy read. (In fact, you’ll find that most of the fics I enjoy aren’t). But this is a heartfelt look at acquired physical disabilities, and also features an ace! Draco. Be still, my beating heart! Literary weaknesses abound! As someone who grew up with a disabled parent, who saw the journey in real time and up close, this fic speaks to me on a different level. I love the depth of Harry’s character, and I love the fact that this author chose to write from Draco’s POV as a healer. Being that we’re in Draco’s POV, it’s also incredible to read this fic and get to experience what is, in my opinion, a more accurate portrayal of asexuality/ace spectrum characterisation. As someone who is demi, I’m constantly on the lookout for ace rep in fiction, and this is one of my absolute favorites for that reason. (You can see some of my other ace/demi faves here in my bookmark collection).

HONORABLE MENTIONS

💕 Crown Witness by @slytherco - E, 70k. TWs - violence

After the war, wizarding society is oppressed by a new kind of plague—an organised crime group calling itself the Family.

When Harry Potter goes to interrogate a potential witness, he doesn’t expect to end up on the run again, trying to keep Draco Malfoy alive, while a manhunt follows in their footsteps, adamant on eliminating the one witness that could ruin everything.

In which Harry and Draco learn that the way to each other might just have to go through the dingiest hotels in Britain.

💕 The Body Keeps Score by @amorsindolor - E, 13.5k. TWs - mentions of past trauma (not between drarry)

Draco cries during sex.

A story about touch, intimacy, and the healing we find through mutual trust and love.

💕 holemate by @vukovich - E, 18.9k. TWs - description of wasting disease

Most people never get a soulmate. Harry has buried three. When the mark appears again, this time alongside an American Auror, perhaps a diversion can keep everyone alive. A diversion that looks a whole lot like a chaotic, fuckable Malfoy.

💕 Have Your Cake and Eat It, Too by @peachpety - E, 3.9k. No TWs. 

Harry Potter loves his birthday… until he doesn’t.

All it takes is a miserable slice of jealousy, sprinkled with an unfortunate slip of the tongue, and doused with a heavy dollop of pining to turn Harry sour. Fortunately for him, Draco Malfoy is there to sweeten the day.

See the full post

28 notes - Posted March 10, 2022

#2

six-ish sentences

whew. it’s been awhile since i’ve had anything to share (life is cray for me rn, iykyk) but some lovelies tagged me and whelp. i have this unedited lil nugget that isn’t for anything in particular (except my love of pansy and stuffing too many adjectives in my scenes). ty @vukovich @drarrymybeloved @the-sinking-ship  @mintamintathings for the tags <3

They’re in Panama, this time; the rattling of street carts and faint chatter mix with the sound of twilight waking, its insects chirping as the moon slowly rises against a bruised blue-red sky. A curl of smoke drifts, hazy and swirling in the balmy air, thick and lethargic. It’s heavy, hanging stilted and slow-rising, making the grey smoke lazy in its escape. 

Ginny sighs, watching for a beat, before her feet are moving her across the room. Inch by inch, slender legs reveal themselves, and her eyes can’t help but follow that bare skin up, up, up, their path only impeded by the thin, white cotton robe wrapping itself around Parkinson’s body. She’s languid, in the way she only gets when she’s away, when she knows Ginny has come at her beck and call once again, lounging loose-limbed, a fag hanging delicately between her fingers over the edge of the chair. 

“Thought you’d quit.”

Parkinson’s face turns, eyes flashing open as she lifts the cigarette to her lips, taking a slow drag and exhaling it out the side of her mouth. 

“Thought you said you wouldn’t come.”

tagging my darlings @peachpety @corvuscrowned @calypsotempete @amorsindolor @wynnyfryd @nv-md @drarryruinedme @avenueofesc @mystickitten42 @thusspoketrish @softlystarstruck 

32 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

throwing rope

@nv-md, my darling. i present to you some shameless Ginny thirst art, and as a bonus, a wee pining Pansy POV. happy valentine’s day, and happy early bday, Ali! <3 i cherish you. all my love to @amorsindolor​ for the beta, hype, and endless wisdom. 💕 you can also read it on AO3! (you can see a better quality image too!) 

Pansy’s heels are rubbing, even encased in familiar worn leather as they are, her shirt sticky and starched from the sweat of the day. A little piece of her aches, small and sharp, watching as a faint smile crosses Ginevra’s lips, even in the thick of it all. The heat bears down on their backs as the sun burns across the skyline.

Wisps of hair escape Ginevra's braid —tickling her nose and sticking to the perspiration dotting her skin —a loop of rope held in her loose fist. It’s dusty today, much like it is everyday, a thin film of ochre infiltrating anything not locked down or closed up tight. The constant stomping of boots and hooves kicking up the earth is a regrettable exasperation, spinning tiny whirlwinds of grit to tuck into every crevice.

Pansy thinks that maybe she wasn’t quite built for this world, feeling shaky in her own skin, smothering it all up in sharp barbs and snarky quips, edging out anyone who might get close enough to find her out. But Ginevra, well. It’s like she’d been carved out of the mighty red rocks themselves, standing in strong relief against the backdrop. Taking her own place in the landscape, belonging to the earth and the sky and the stars. 

Ginevra laughs, looking at Pansy a split-second before she throws her rope through the air. 

It’s that feeling, those hidden looks and sly smiles, that tells her this much for certain: that she may be able to count her name among the rest of those great, big things that tether Ginevra to this world. 

And that Pansy wants to feel her own lasso pull taut. 

60 notes - Posted February 14, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[lildevyl]

DSMP FanFic Recommendations I

So, a few days @nastiiuu did a nice Recommendation of a DSMP FanFic called Evermore. So, per request, here's a list of different DSMP Recommendations that I have from my History, Mark For Later, and from my Bookmarks! Sorry, @nastiiuu that it took me a while to get this up! But I hope you all enjoy!

Stay safe and I will put the Summaries and Tigger Warnings in as well!

So, I will start off with the one the @nastiiuu recommended a few days ago!

Evermore

Summary: Prince Theseus, a child of blonde and blue, a child of isolation and a crave for touch. He's the youngest in the Royal Family, and somehow the most forgotten. The most neglected. The most alone.

Tucked away in his tower, the young prince watches the world move on without him, watches his family welcome two new princes into their arms, and yet reject him when he cries desperately from nightmares or shivers from a painful wound.

"Wilby?" The child had murmured, all curious and hesitant at once. He was tucked in his older brother's lap, watching as his other sibling sparred with their father. "We'll always be together, right? Forever and ever?"

Wilbur smiled. "Of course, Tommy. Forever and ever."

The Hanahaki rising in young Theseus' throat says otherwise.

TW: Isolation, Hanahki Disease, Angst no happy ending, Character Death, Villain!Dream, Manuplation.

The Exchange: My Life for Yours: I'm still reading this one, I'm on chapter 17 and it's ssssssssooooooooo good right now!

Summary: Tommy was a liability. Too annoying and too loud.

Techno didn't care about this child.

"Unless of course, you want call on that favor"

"Ok"

Then why he suddenly did?

TW: Villain!Dream, Canon Diverse, Kidnapping, Demons/Dreamons, Demon!Dream, Dreamon!Dream, Isolation, Manipulation, "A Deal with the Devil."

The Inevitability of Change: I just got caught up with this one and oh my Ghoul! This is intense and so good! I can't wait for the update!

Summary: Fuck it, he was allowed to do this, it would be better for everyone else anyway. They could do whatever they wanted and he wouldn’t be in their way. He wouldn’t cause problems anymore and he could have the perfect life that he had always wanted.

The egg extended a blood vine out to him. "Do we have a deal?" There was a level of smugness that Tommy recognized all too well from all his wars with Dream, it was the sound of an opponent knowing they’d won.

“We do, you dumb ugly bitch.”

or

Tommyinnit hated change. He'd witnessed so many people he cared about in his life change and hardly ever for the better. He just wished things could go back to the way they were when he had everything he ever wanted, a loving family who cared about him, a best friend who was always by his side. He craves this so badly that he makes a deal with the egg to get everything he's ever wanted.

or or

Tommy becomes a coraline kinnie

TW: Derealization, Unreality, Manipulation, Child Abandonment, Violence (later chapters), Explosions (later chapters).

Ties of the Puppet

Summary: Tommy hates how his mind feels trapped at that moment with Tubbo. The look in his eyes one Tommy had been forced to see far too many times. Wilbur’s eyes.

or

Tommy struggles with the trauma of his life and unhealthy relationships, Wilbur tries his hand at redemption, Phil and Techno learn to heal what's been lost.

TW: Mental Health Issues, Violence, Abuse, Redemption Arc for Tubbo, Healing for Tommy/Phil/Techno, some of the characters will seem a little OOC, Canon Diverse.

Forged By Truth (Or the Lack there of)

Summary: After his escape from exile failed spectacularly, Tommy only needed to be reminded that Dream saved his life a few times before it starts to sink in. Once his exile can continue again far away from any more distractions, Dream proceeds with his plan to craft the perfect weapon.

TW: Manipulation, Mention of Character Death (Character doesn't really die but the other characters don't know that), Suicidal Thoughts, Violence, Protégé AU, Tommy becomes Dream's Protégé, Angst, Whump.

Mask: I'm still working on this one but it's really, really, really good! A lot of Angst and Manipulation. So, please be careful when reading!

Summary: Dream knew Tommy was a naturally clingy child. That's why he found such satisfaction in having him exiled.

Dream didn't plan on Tommy clinging to him.

Dream was going to take advantage of the situation.

All Tommy needed was a bit of a push and then he would be completely broken.

Ready to be remodeled into the perfect weapon.

TW: Suicidal Thoughts, Attempted Suicide, Manipulation, Emotional and Mental Manipulation, Protégé AU, Broken!Tommy, Angst, Angst (possibly no happy ending but I'm not sure), Whump.

Lion's Cup, Tiger Stripes: I just finished this one and it's so good! Exile Arc but with a twist! Guest Appearances by Sad-ist, Late-August, Derivakat.

Summary: Tommy Innit knew what Dream was doing and was sure as hell not going through with it. So, by the third week of exile, as Dream starts to escalate his punishments, he leaves. One month later he runs into Purpled and hires him as a bodyguard while he travels.

Or Tommy runs away, stays in one village for a month to clear his head and decides to go travelling while dragging Purpled with him.

Or road trip pog.

TW: Angst, Angst with a happy, Found Family, Violence, Testing, Scares, Explosions (later chapters), I think that's all.

Valley of Serenity: This is a very long fic! It's about 60+ chapters so feel free to read in increments but this is a really good fic! Redemption Arc and Healing for the SBI Family!

Summary: After blowing up a nation, Wilbur throws a sword down at his father's feet and begs to be killed.

Phil, however, takes one look at the state of his children and decides he has other plans.

(post november 16th au where wilbur doesn't die. instead a family leaves the smp entirely, and learn how to live with each other again.)

"Fuck, I - I can't forgive either of you right now," Tommy says quietly. Despite the words, he hugs Wilbur tighter. "One day, though. I think one day I will."

"And we're still brothers, right?" Wilbur dares ask. Techno inhales sharply beside him.

They get a choked laugh in reply.

"Yeah. Brothers."

TW: Angst, Mention of wanting to die, Healing, a long road of healing, Mental Health Issues, Family Bonds, Angst but I think there is a happy ending, Violence, Mention of the L'Manburg exploding. Redemption Arc, Healing.

Breathing's Just A Rhythm: I finished this fic a few weeks ago and my ghoul! This is so good! Time Travel Fic with Dream, Schlatt, Tubbo, Tommy, and of course CHAT!

Summary: POGTOPIA??? WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?? TIMETRAVELBLADE. technotravel

“Chat, I did not time travel,” Techno said exhaustedly, “I don’t know what gave you that idea, but please calm yourselves.”

The voices started obnoxiously whispering at the top of their lungs. HE DOESN’T KNOW. PANIC

Or: Tommy, Tubbo, Jschlatt, and Dream all end up in the past. (Oh, and the Chat comes too) (mcd is a villain, this fic has a happy ending)

Or OR! Dream attempts to Time Travel in the past but winds only go back a few months ago during Pogtopia Area and he winds up bring a few unexpected victors with him! MEANWHILE: Karl is trying his damnest to fix everything with Time Travel Fiasco that Dream caused! B/C the Future selves and the past selves switched!

TW: Graphic Violence, Bodily harm (later chapters), Kidnapping (later chapters), Explosions (later chapters), Betrayal (later chapters I won't say who!), Isolation, Manipulations, Mental and Emotional Abuse, Trauma, Therapy (Finally these boys gets some), Good!Schlatt, Villain!Dream, Redemption Arc Wilbur and Schlatt.

I think I got them all?

Wrong Place for Redemption: This one of the stories that helped inspired Breathing is Just a Rhythm! Time Travel Fic!

Summary: -Previously titled Time Will Decide. Name taken from lyrics in 'A Sadness Runs Through Him' by The Hosiers

“Okay, why don’t you go see him.” Tommy didn’t know what he thought the afterlife was going to be like, hell he didn’t even know if it was a real thing. Maybe he’d see Wilbur, possibly Schlatt, but he didn’t expect to see a white castle and Karl.

Or where Tommy looses his final life to Dream in the prison only to be teleported back in time.

OR where Tommy is given a second chance and isn't going to blow it, not even if things start to get revealed (things that change everything) and discoveries are made.

This whole book has TW's: Child abuse, violence/murder, gore/blood, implied/referenced suicide, suicide, drinking, etc.

Parental Rights: Another good on going fic for me! Can you tell that I love some SBI/Found Family Fics here?

Summary: Sam wants to be there for Tommy. Wants to be his dad. Wants to be the one Tommy comes to when he's in trouble or excited over something. He'd happily legally adopt Tommy, but well... Tommy's actual father is in the way of that. Sam thought with how distanced Phil was with his son it would be easy to persuade him to give his parental rights over to Sam. But well... Tommy's stubbornness had to come from somewhere, right?

TW: Sleep Walking, Mentions of Exile, Healing Arc for Tommy, Healing Arc for Sam, Healing Arc for Tubbo, SBI, Healing Arc for Techno.

Allium: This is still on going, but oh man! This is getting really good!

Summary: What if Dreams plan for the Disc War finale had worked?

Tubbo dead, Tommy in the prison, SMP under his control. Allium Ashes.

TW: Major Character Death, Ghostbo (Ghost Tubbo), Manipulation, Isolation, Imprisonment, Prisoner Innit, Making someone believe they are responsible for something they didn't do, Kidnapping, Rescue Mission.

And How Can I Compete (With The World At Your Feet): God AU and this is really Fangtastic! Rated M for Graphic Violence and Attempted Sacrifice.

Summary: Tommy has been kept away from the world and held captive for four years, and now he’s about to be used as a sacrifice to a god. A blood god, to be specific. The Blood God. But, instead of accepting his captor’s sacrifice, the Blood God is in debt to Tommy. And he’s going to save him.

A universe where Technoblade, Wilbur, and Phil are all gods who have become quite protective of a mortal fifteen year old without a home.

This concept was based on a text post I saw, I think! I can’t find it anymore, but if you see it let me know!

TW: Blood, Violence, Attempted Sacrifice, Villain!Dream, Villain!BadBoyHalo, Occult Setting, God AU, Blood God!Techno, Angel of Death!Philza, God!Wilbur, Angel!Tubbo, Angel!Ranboo.

Death's Forest: This is a nice little One-Shot for the SBI, and Dadza fans! Set during Tommy's Exile. Don't worry! Dadza to the rescue!

Summary: “Can I see him?” Phil asks, blinking owlishly, as if he’s simply just asking. As if he’s not holding a threat behind those light words.

“Don’t push your limits.” Dream responds, and Phil only smiles with a slow nod.

The next day, Dream wishes he had answered differently.

Or

Phil isn’t quite human. He wants to visit Tommy during exile.

TW: I don't think there's any TW here, but if there is, please let me know!

Prince Theseus: Royal AU! Hybrid Tommy. Prince Tommy (Theseus).

Summary: Prince Theseus Craft of the Anartitic Empire, A child who could bring joy to anyone's day left to be forgotten by his family left to spend his days in his tower with nothing but his Maid and dear friend as company

Left to watch his older brothers laugh and smile as his father looks at them with love and the eyes of a proud parent he never saw directed to him, watch them both receive the love he craved so desperately from his father. Left him to envy his brothers yet grow jealous as that jealousy turns to a small flame of hatred growing steadily as time passes leaving him to make his final decision.

No longer will he be known as Theseus but as the Amazing Tommyinnit who could do anything who will prove his former family wrong and show he is better than what they think.

Which leads him to where he is now, a runaway prince who finds a new family brought together by hardship and their love of traveling the endless seas.

AKA :

16 yr old Prince Theseus changes his name to Tommyinnit and runs away from his royal family who neglected him and finds a real family on a ship who just so happened to be pirates as well.

TW: Isolation, Mention of a Minor Character Death, Running Away, Royal AU, Hybrid Tommy, SBI, Neglect, Pirates, Found Family, Angst, Hurt and Comfort, Magic.

Therapy Marriage: Okay, I'm adding this one for some Wholesomeness, and Fluff with some Angst but there should be a Happy Ending!

Summary: but for some reason, tubbo (and possibly ranboo, although he doubted this was his idea) had got it into his head that tommy needed therapy or some shit.

which, fine, maybe he had a little bit of an issue. he did freak out at damage, and weapons, and he had reached out to puffy, but he was okay! he didn’t need tubbo to pity him.

but- here was where the weird part came in- tubbo wanted tommy in his marriage.

TL:DR Tubbo wants to help Tommy and decides that the best method is by marrying him as well. Ranboo just goes along with it.

*****

Okay, this post has gotten very long! I do apologize for that! So, I'll add others to another Post!

[sing-in-me-oh-muse]

welcome to the final show by sagansjagger

TW: Blood, MCD, Violence

Fanart for the story drawn by the inestimable @yaboibellabean​!

welcome to the final show by sagansjagger

Summary:

She's so beautiful.

To Adrien Agreste, piano player for France's most prominent ballet company, Ladybug could do no wrong.

She was graceful, elegant, and kind. Nothing she did upset Adrien.

Until he finds out she's dating Viperion, her partner in the pas de deux.

But Adrien knows Ladybug would love him just as much as he loves her, if only she'd give him the chance.

Main Tags:

Endgame Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug

Implied/Referenced Suicide

Murder

Descent into Madness

Hot Mess Adrien Agreste

Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir Bashing

Alternate Universe - Ballet

Excerpt:

She’s so beautiful, Adrien thought, his fingers flying over the piano keys as he stared at Ladybug, the prima ballerina of the company, as the male lead lifted her into the air. So, so pretty.

Adrien often found his mouth watering as he watched the lines of her body arc across the stage, leaping with her powerful legs all the way across the wooden surface. He’d barely said three words to her, but he was in love with her all the same. He just knew she’d adore him if she just gave him a chance.

Ladybug had been so kind to Adrien. He’d tripped over a rope backstage and had fallen, and she’d been there to help him up with a smile. That was when he knew she was the girl for him.

Adrien could give her everything. He could be so useful to her; he could play piano for her and encourage her in her dancing and tell her everyday that he loved her. He could keep her spirits up. And he was rich, too--or, rather, he would be when his father died. He could take her out of this awful company and give her everything her heart desired...

Read more on ao3.

[ao3feed-crimeboys]

Countdown

by itya

A family of four becomes a family of three.

They cope.

Or they don't.

Words: 1832, Chapters: 1/3, Language: English

Fandoms: Dream SMP

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: Gen

Characters: Wilbur Soot, TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Phil Watson | Philza

Relationships: Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Wilbur Soot & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Discussions of grief, Grief/Mourning, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Sleepy Bois Inc Angst, Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, yeah basically big tw for dicussions of suicide, This is so hard, there's mcd but it's off-screen

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/41275110

[serickswrites]

Get In

Warnings: survivor’s guilt, grief, referenced death, referenced mcd

“Get in, Caretaker,” Friend said as they opened the car door. 

Caretaker stared silently at the ground, tears filling their eyes and making it difficult to see. The vice that had been on their heart since Whumper took Whumpee and them hostage hadn’t let up. The inability to breathe since....since...since everything happened hadn’t lessened. Everything was just too much. 

It was too much that Whumper took them. It was too much that they took Whumpee. It was too much that Whumpee had been grabbed because of Caretaker’s carelessness. And it was too much that Whumpee was dead. 

Because of them. 

Whumpee was dead because of Caretaker. Because Whumper hadn’t listened to Caretaker. Because Whumper hadn’t taken Caretaker’s offering of themself seriously. Whumpee was dead because Whumper had wanted Caretaker to live. 

But Caretaker couldn’t live in a world without Whumpee. Couldn’t live in a world without light. And they couldn’t live in a world knowing that Whumpee’s light had been snuffed out instead of theirs. 

“Caretaker,” Friend said softly, “I think it would be good for you to visit--”

“I can’t go see them. It’s my fault that they’re there.” Caretaker’s words tumbled out. And once those tumbled out, more followed. “They’re there because I was stupid. Because I was reckless. Because I couldn’t make Whumper listen to me. Because I couldn’t save them.”

Friend wrapped their arms around Caretaker as Caretaker sobbed. “Whumpee’s gone because of what Whumper did. Not you. Caretaker, you didn’t do anything wrong. Whumpee wouldn’t want you to blame yourself. They would want you to live. And be happy.”

“I can’t be happy. Not without them.”

Friend rubbed soothing circles on Caretaker’s back. “Maybe not now. But one day, one day you’ll be happy again, Caretaker. And Whumpee will be smiling down at you.”

[serickswrites]

You're Allowed to Fall Apart

Warnings: referenced captivity, referenced restraints, referenced torture, referenced failed rescue, gun, gunshot, wounds, blood, bleeding out, choking, mcd, grief, hurt/no comfort

Caretaker sat in the pew closest to the pulpit, relishing in the twilight darkness of the church. No one could see their face. No one could see their tears here. No one could see their shame. No one could see their grief. And the guilt they deserved.

They had blood on their hands. It was all their fault they were sitting here. They had no one to blame but themself. And yet, they couldn't bring themself to say the words. Not yet.

"Ah, Caretaker," the priest said as he entered the nave.

"Father," Caretaker whispered, unable to lift their head. They came here to repent, to beg for forgiveness, but they wanted to do it in solace. This was between them and God. And.....Whumpee.

The priest stopped and sat in the pew next to Caretaker. "Everything is nearly ready for the service tomorrow," he said somberly. "I think it's going to be a very beautiful service, Caretaker."

Caretaker nodded, unable to speak past the lump in their throat. It had been ever present, but at the mention of the pending service tomorrow, it grew. Grew to the point that they couldn't speak. Because the thought of saying goodbye to the one person they had failed the most was too much.

The priest gingerly put his hand on Caretaker's back. "You're allowed to fall apart, Caretaker. You don't have to be strong any more. Please, allow me to be the shoulder for you to lean on."

Caretaker squeezed their eyes shut against the tears. They very much wanted to lean on someon'es shoulder. But they didn't deserve it. Images danced behind their eyelids, a permanent reminder of why they deserved to repent forever.

Caretaker's desperate search for Whumpee had felt long, though in hindsight, Caretaker realized it had only been a few days. They knew Whumper had kidnapped Whumpee and was likely torturing them every minute they remained unfound. Caretaker had to find them. Whumper had taken Whumpee to hurt Caretaker. Caretaker couldn't let Whumpee get hurt in their place.

And so they searched. And searched. And searched until at last they found Whumper's hideaway. Found Whumper's hideaway and Whumpee tied up in the basement. Whumpee was alive and relieved to see Caretaker. Though they were all the worse for wear, they were alive. That was all that mattered.

What Caretaker had failed to take into account was that Whumpee would be too weak to escape quickly. And that proved to be a fatal mistake. Whumper returned mid rescue, gun aimed at Whumpee. Caretaker hadn't reacted quickly enough. The bullet ripped through Whumpee's chest, sending them sprawling. Whumper's gleeful cackles were quiet compared to the awful choking sound Whumpee made as they tried to breathe through the blood filling their lungs and throat.

"No, no, you can't leave me. Whumpee, you have to stay. You have to stay with me. No! Please, Whumpee," Caretaker repeated over and over as they tried to staunch the flow of blood from the bullet wound in Whumpee's chest. But no matter how much Caretaker begged, how much Caretaker pressed on the wound, it wasn't enough. Whumpee's choking slowly faded into silence as their eyes grew glassy and they stilled beneath Caretaker.

That had been a little over a week ago and Caretaker hadn't known a moment of peace since. They didn't deserve it. It was all their fault. "Caretaker," the priest finally said, breaking the silence and Caretaker's horrible memories, "I won't pressure you. But just know that I am here if you ever need me."

Caretaker nodded, unable to fight the tears any longer. They waited until the priest left before they began to sob loudly. "I am so sorry, Whumpee," they said to the empty church. "I know I don't deserve your forgiveness. I know I don't deserve anything but pain. But I...I can't live through this pain. I can't live through saying goodbye to you. It was supposed to be me. Not you. I am so sorry."

In the twilight dark of the church, Caretaker sobbed. Though they were completely alone, the quiet dark was a comforting presence. Perhaps someone, or something, heard their prayers and offered some peace, even if for a moment.

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[serickswrites]

Better Me Than You VIII

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

Warnings: referenced captivity, referenced torture, referenced forced to watch, referenced forced to hurt, referenced blood, referenced wounds, referenced rescue, guilt, begging, mcd

"Please, Team Leader, I need you to forgive me. I know you're going to say there's nothing to forgive. But there is. And I need you to forgive me." Smallest Teammate spoke calmly and slowly. Silent tears tracked down their cheeks.

They had to do this. They had to say all of this. They had to say everything. "I'm so sorry," Smallest Teammate whispered.

Smallest Teammate could still feel Team Leader's skin split beneath their knife. Could still feel Team Leader's blood on cooling on their skin. Could still feel Team Leader laying unresponsive in their arms.

Could still feel the moment their heart broke when they realized Team Leader had bled out before they could get to help. They hadn't been able to breathe since then. Hadn't been able to stop crying.

Team Leader was dead because of them.

"I am so sorry, Team Leader. Please, please forgive me," Smallest Teammate whispered quietly to the body that lay on the slab in front of them.

They had refused to be separated from Team Leader's body. Had refused to let go when Teammate Two had started compressions trying to bring Team Leader back. Had refused to be pulled away when Teammate One had said there was nothing they could do. Had refused to let go of Team Leader's body when Teammate Three tried to comfort them.

The ride back to Base had been silent. Painfully silent. Smallest Teammate rode in the back of the vehicle with Team Leader. They couldn't leave Team Leader.

Teammate Two had lain Team Leader on the slab, Smallest Teammate following along silently. They brushed back Team Leader's hair off their face carefully. Team Leader's eyes were closed and their face was lax, as though in sleep. Teammate Two gently covered Team Leader's body from the neck down so Smallest Teammate didn't have to see their wounds. The wounds on Team Leader's body that they had inflicted.

They had killed Team Leader.

"I'm so sorry, Team Leader," Smallest Teammate said as they took Team Leader's icy hand in theirs. "Please, please forgive me."

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[serickswrites]

I Can't Stand Seeing You Like This

Warnings: grief, mcd referenced

"I can't stand seeing you like this," Caretaker said as they sat down in the chair opposite of Whumpee. "It's really not ok."

Caretaker pulled the blanket their friend had given around them tighter. "You really didn't prepare me for what things would be like. What it would feel like. I can't stand it!" They scrubbed their face, wiping the tears away before Whumpee could notice.

"Of course I'm mad at you. Who wouldn't be mad? You would be so pissed at me if the tables were turned. I'm so mad that I barely want to look at you."

Caretaker looked away for a moment, blinking back the tears. They sighed. Everyone had told them they needed to be honest about how they were feeling. They needed to acknowledge their feelings. "But mostly, Whumpee, I am so sad. I am so heartbroken that you didn't warn me. That I didn't realize what could happen. That I," their voice broke as they began to sob," that I didn't get a chance to say goodbye."

Caretaker reached out to brush Whumpee's grave stone. "I didn't get a chance to say goodbye because you said it would all be alright. Well this isn't alright. Nothing is alright, Whumpee. You left me behind! How could you!"

Caretaker stayed like that for a while. They weren't sure how long they sat there sobbing over Whumpee's grave. They wiped their face. "I'm not ready to forgive you yet, Whumpee. You could have told me what might happen. You could have warned me. You didn't let me prepare. Or help! But," they let out a big sigh, "I know you were trying to protect me. And I can't fault you for that."

They stood up, folding their chair carefully. "I just wish you were back, Whumpee. So that I could hug you, kiss you, and never let you go."

[serickswrites]

Unhand III

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Part 5

Warnings: referenced captivity, referenced torture, blood, wounds, burns, rescue, mcd

Caretaker spent the first week of Whumpee's captivity partially recovering. Every time they showed up to try and help the team in their search for Whumpee they were sent home.

"Caretaker, you were seriously injured, too. You need to rest. You'll be no good to Whumpee if you end up getting even more sick." Teammate Two had said as they pointed to the door.

Caretaker had protested, but it didn't matter. The whole team ganged up on Caretaker until they were forced to return to their empty house. The truth was it was hard for them to think--they're head still hurt and their body still ached.

But Whumpee was at Whumper's mercy. Whumpee had been taken because of them. Was likely being tortured because of them.

The second week of Whumpee's captivity, Caretaker dove head first into the search. The team had made minimal progress. It was maddening. There simply was not enough information.

They had checked all of Whumper's usual haunts. No one had seen or heard from Whumper in weeks. They had checked all of the remote parts of the city where Whumper might take Whumpee for some privacy. But Whumper wasn't there.

By the third week, Caretaker had rescued three other citizens were in danger, but none of them were Whumpee. They should have been happy they saved three innocents. But they couldn't be happy. Whumpee was missing. Whumpee was taken. And it was because of their stupidity. Not Whumpee's.

"Caretaker, these things take time. Whumper still has them. We'll find them. Whumpee is smart. They're probably working on a way out as we speak, " Teammate One said as the team prepared to stop their search for the day.

Caretaker didn't want to stop. They had to work around the clock to find Whumpee. Whumpee was being tortured! But the team needed sleep. Everyone had been burning the candle at both ends and it showed. The team had been running themself ragged hunting for Whumper.

As Caretaker drove home they made a promise to Whumpee that they would continue to look for Whumpee after they took a nap. Even they needed sleep. "I'm sorry," Caretaker said as they parked their car next to Whumpee's. Whumpee's was covered in dust due to disuse. "I just need two hours. Then I will go back to finding you. Please, forgive me," Caretaker muttered as they walked into their empty house.

Their home was painfully silent and cold without Whumpee. They never realized how much light and sound Whumpee brought with them. But as they walked into their darkened bedroom, fully planning on face planting into bed fully clothed, Caretaker realized just how much light Whumpee brought to their life.

Caretaker froze as they realized their bed wasn't unoccupied. "Whumpee?"

Someone, or something, lay beneath the blanket. It had to be Whumpee! They had figured out a way home. "Oh, darling, you must be so exhausted!" Caretaker flicked on the light and flipped back the covers. The unearthly scream that ripped from their throat did not compare to the shattering of their heart.

Whumpee lay on their back, their wrists still bound, this time in front with coarse rope. Their hair was matted and filthy, their face obscured by their hair, though Caretaker could see their eyes were open. Whumpee's chest and abdomen was littered with cuts and small burns--Whumper was a smoker Caretaker's brain helpfully supplied. But the thing that had Caretaker dropping to their knees, the thing that had them wailing into the night, was Whumpee's throat and the blood that still dripped from the second smile.

"Oh, please, please no!" Caretaker crawled to the bed. This couldn't be real. this couldn't be happening. But as they touched Whumpee's cold skin, brushing back Whumpee's filthy matted hair, Caretaker stared into Whumpee's lifeless eyes and knew that Whumper had made good on their promise to Caretaker.

"No. NO. NONONONONONO. PLEASE!" But no matter how much Caretaker screamed into the night, Whumpee's slit throat didn't reknit. Their blood didn't disappear. And Whumpee did not take a breath or smile up at them. Because Whumper had murdered them and left their mutilated corpse in Caretaker's bed. Just as they had promised four weeks ago.

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[serickswrites]

Get Up IV

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 5 Part 6

Warnings: captivity, referenced bullet wound, amnesia, scientific experimentation, blood, knife, stabbing, wounds, mcd

"Welcome back to the land of the living, Hero," Villain said as they stared down into their nemesis' face.

Hero's pupils were blown wide with fear. Hero's mouth opened and closed as they struggled to speak.

"It is hard to talk after being dead for so long, I know. But," Villain tapped Hero's now flawless forehead, "being shot in the head will do that to you. Don't worry, I killed the minion for killing you. You're welcome. And I brought you back. You're welcome."

"I....I....I...." Hero rasped.

"Don't worry," Villain said as they wrapped their fingers around the knife on the instrument table next to them. "Only I get to kill you."

Hero screamed as Villain plunged the knife into their chest. Hero thrashed wildly as Villain pulled the knife out, blood spraying across their face. "Stop struggling, you're making this even more painful!" Villain said with wicked glee.

They stabbed Hero four more times before Hero stopped moving. Hero's chest was coated in blood. Villain stared down at their blood covered hands, knife still gripped in their fist. "Much better," Villain said as they stabbed Hero's corpse once more, burying the knife to the hilt in Hero's shoulder. "Much, much better."

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[serickswrites]

Lonely Place of Longing XV.V (The missing chapter)

Master list link here (includes chapter links, summary, and character bios)

A/N: I took this chapter out because it made references to things I hadn't talked about in this story (but will in the prequel series!). And because I felt like it would have made the chapter after this one (and in the story's current iteration Chapter 16) less climactic--though it probably would have been pretty climactic with the cliff hanger in hindsight. It's a short one, so please enjoy. The final chapter will be out on its usual post day!

Warnings: physical violence, blood, knife, stabbing, wounds, referenced death, character death, mcd, unconsciousness, referenced heat injury

“You are sadly still so predictable,” Owen drawled as he grabbed for another knife from his bandolier of blades. He had slipped back into their native tongue. He had, Dylan realized, always spoken to Dylan in their mother tongue. Only when it was absolutely necessary did he use the language native to Patricanus.

And you haven’t changed either. “Does it matter? We both know how this ends, Owen. Give it up.” I will end you. I will rip you limb from limb. I will destroy you. You did this. You gave me no choice.

“Yes, it ends with me winning and imbuing your sweet paramour. Do you think she will be as monstrous as me? Or perhaps as monstrous as you?” Owen chuckled as he dodged another attack from Dylan.

Dylan and Owen continued to trade blows. Both weapons fought with their powers, Owen combining his attacks with his physical weapons. Their chests heaved as they panted. Neither had had a fight that required this much strength in nearly a decade. “Isn’t this lovely,” Owen said as he tossed a bent knife to the side before drawing another, “two of the most powerful beings in the world set to destroy one another.” He glanced over his shoulder at Halle. “Perhaps she will join our ranks soon.”

Hold on, sweetheart. I won’t let him hurt you. “Owen,” Dylan said as he raised his fist once more, “it doesn’t have to be this way. If you agree to stop, if you agree to come willingly—“

“You’ll what, kill me quickly? I’m not going to do that.” Owen released a large pulse of energy at Dylan. It missed Dylan by a wide margin, blasting a large hole in the wall behind him. Shouts of pain and alarm rang out.

Dylan gritted his teeth. His side pinched. He could feel blood leaking through his shirt and making his side slick. He didn’t dare check the wound. It doesn’t matter. It is minor. Minor pain. I have had worse. I need to stop him. I need to stop him from destroying everything. He knew he was burning through his vast reserve of energy. But most of all, Dylan hated the loss of innocent human life. “Do you care so little for your minions you would kill them to hurt me?”

Owen smirked. “Yes, wouldn’t you?” Owen sent another energy blast at the wall, vaporizing the scattering men. “That’s what they are for. They are weak. We are strong. We can destroy everything.”

“You cannot do this, Owen. You cannot destroy everything. Think of what we could rebuild. Think of all the lives we could save.” Please. Please don’t make me do this. I…I don’t want to. Dylan realized with a pang of guilt. As much as he hated what Owen had done, as much as he hated the destruction and waste of life, he didn’t hate Owen. And killing Owen would kill a part of him. Please, we were friends once. We can still be friends. Please, don’t make me kill you.

“I can. And I will. Because I can. And because I want to.” Owen lunged towards Dylan again, his knife flashing bright. Dylan easily dodged Owen’s attack once more, but realized his mistake when Owen charged towards Halle.

“No!” Dylan surged forward, realizing too late, this was exactly what Owen wanted. Owen stabbed the knife up and into Dylan’s gut, burying it to the hilt. Dylan tried to breathe through the pain as Owen rode his body to the ground.

“Like I said, Dylan,” Owen ripped the knife up and through Dylan’s body until he hit bone. Dylan gasped through the pain, “so predictable.”

“Owen,” Dylan hissed as he felt Owen rip the knife from his gut. “Owen, please,” he said. “Owen, ahh—“ Dylan cried out as Owen shoved his hand into the wound. His world whited out with pain as Owen wormed his fingers into the wound on his side.

“There, that’s it. Yes, you are where I always planned for you to be, Dylan.” Owen’s face was inches from Dylan’s. “I have been waiting for this moment.”

“Owen, I’m sorry,” Dylan whispered. I cannot let you do this. I cannot let you win. If you win, the world burns. If you win, she dies. I cannot let that happen.

Owen froze. “What are you sorry for? Wounding me?” Owen wriggled his fingers deeper into the wound. Dylan cried out with pain. “What’s the best way and only surefire way to kill a weapon?”

Dylan gritted his teeth. I don’t want to do this. But you are leaving me no choice. Please, Owen. “Owen—“

“That’s right, you destroy the heart. A head shot will probably kill them, but not always. But the heart? The heart is the only way. I’m going to rip your heart apart, Dylan. And then I’m going to wake up your love so she can see your corpse as I turn her.” Owen twisted his arm, shoving it further into Dylan’s body. “I’ll reach your heart either through your belly or through your side. It doesn’t matter. I will have your heart. I will win.”

Destroy their heart. This is the only way. I’m sorry, Owen. I’m sorry this is what it came to. You left me no choice. “Killing me won’t bring them, any of them back. Killing me won’t bring her back.”

Owen froze. Dylan continued. “Killing me won’t change what happened. Killing me won’t bring—“

“You don’t get to say her name. You don’t get to say anything about any of them. And yes, killing you won’t bring them back. But it will make me happier.”

Dylan closed his eyes tight against the sting of tears. I am sorry. I am so sorry. I tried. You left me no other way. I would have found another way. You left me no choice, Owen. Dylan raised his shaking left hand to touch Owen’s chest as Owen tried to dig further and further, searching for Dylan’s heart. He didn’t even notice when Dylan touched his shredded shirt. “I am sorry,” Dylan whispered as he unleashed his power. “I am truly sorry, Owen,” he said to the red mist that filled the air.

You’re free now. Free from pain. Free from all of this. Free from suffering. I am sorry. Fare well, my friend. May the next life treat you better.

Dylan lay in the growing pool of blood for a moment longer, slowly trying to take stock of his injuries. He had worse pain. But he knew it had to be bad. It didn’t matter. He had to get to Halle. Sweetheart. I’m coming. Hold on. I love you. I love you. I love you.

With a stifled howl of pain, Dylan rolled onto his uninjured side and slowly tried to stand up. He pressed his hand to his gut as he rose on shaking legs, gasping with pain as every muscle protested the movement. He couldn’t stop. He had to keep going. He took two tentative steps on shaking legs. Good enough. I can get us out of here. I’m coming, sweetheart. Hold on.

Halle lay where she had fallen after her head struck the wall. She hadn’t moved during his entire fight with Owen. Please, be ok. You have to be ok. Dylan stumbled over to Halle, collapsing to his knees, relieved to see she was alive.

“Sweetheart, I’ve got you,” Dylan said as he braced himself. Carefully Dylan lifted her, stumbling slightly as he tried to get his balance. Though Halle was petite, he struggled to carry her. He knew his wounds were much worse than he initially thought as he struggled to balance. “I’ll get us to the team. They’ll look after you. Just hold on.”

Halle hung limply in his arms, her limbs swaying with his staggering. The room spun around him. No. Just a bit farther. Just a bit longer. Dylan refused to give up, refused to let his body give out. She needs help. I have to get her to help. Hold on, sweetheart. I have you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

Dylan only managed to get a few steps before his legs gave out completely. He didn't have the energy to get back up, to carry her and go forward. “Oh,” he sighed. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Halle. I can’t. You’re going to have to walk out of here. I….I can’t carry you. “Sweetheart, I’m sorry. I…Please wake up soon. Please be ok.”

He held Halle tightly in his arms. He rubbed gentle circles on her back. Dark spots flecked his vision. He shook his head. Come on, sweetheart. You have to be ok. I am alive because you are alive.You have to be alive. I love you. I love you. I love you.

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