#turns out astarion wasn't even close to the top of the lists

[corgiteatime]

Congratulations, game. You really did subvert my initial expectations with the really-not-all-that-horny vampire and the totally sensible weed Dad figure and Mr. Gale "I'm totally into the fact you haven't taken a bath in 2 weeks and I read a book about about being turned on by deadly danger and let's have astral projection 4-way sex with only 2 people in outer space and you look good jogging around the city in strappy bondage gear" Dekarios.

Not complaining. I was just surprised, that's all. I love having my expectations subverted.

[denim-lich]

OC x Canon Week Bonus Day: Wiping Away Tears

Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3

Pairing: Astarion/Barry (self-insert)

Rating: T

Word Count: 1549

Summary: Barry gets too caught up in their own thoughts and Astarion comforts them.

Read here on AO3 or under the cut!

Barry sleepily blinked open their eyes, waking up in their darkened room in the Elfsong Tavern. Astarion was still asleep, his head pillowed on their chest and an arm thrown over their waist. Barry closed their eyes again as they pressed a kiss to the top of Astarion's head, breathing in his scent as they did. Honestly they should just try to go back to sleep, there was no rush to get up and go now that the Elder Brain had finally been taken down and the world wasn't ending at any moment, but they already felt too awake now to do that.

They continued to lay there with Astarion in their arms for a few minutes, thoughts turning towards what the two of them would do now that they weren't helping to stop the world from ending. The rest of their friends had gone off there separate ways for now, though they knew they'd keep in touch with them as much as possible.

There was so much that could be done now. Aside from the world no longer being in imminent danger, Barry and Astarion were now free from their masters, and there were no immediate plans they'd settled on yet to move forward with.

What did Barry want to do? Gods, they hadn't really been able (hadn't been allowed) to think about what they wanted to do, well…most of their life. Did they know how to want things? Sure, the past several months had helped with that some, but there had still always been something huge looming over the group that needed to get done (from getting the tadpoles out of their heads to saving the world), so that's what would be focused on and get done. Even when the group would work on other things, Barry always put their friends' wants and needs before thinking of what they wanted or needed. The group had tried to help them with that as well but old habits die hard and it was still something they tended to do. Add that to the list of things to work on…

If it knew one thing, it wanted to help Astarion be in the sun again. They'd talked about it before the big battle, knew that there was no way they would be taking over the Elder Brain to hold onto the tadpoles and allow Astarion to continue to be in the sun that way, but it still felt horrible about it all. There was that brief moment of hope after everything was done and maybe, just maybe, the sun wasn't going to hurt him…and then that all came crashing down as his skin started to burn and Barry cast Darkness as quickly as it could. Astarion deserved to be in the sun again, he deserved the world and if it could give it to him, it would. If there was no way for him to be in the sun again, it would make a way for that to be possible again.

Barry was sure Astarion would be happy to work towards that goal as well of course, but he'd want to know what Barry wanted to do, not just to help him or anyone else, what did it want for itself? Its breath started coming in shorter bursts, its mind blanking on anything that it could want for itself. It was so tired, not in a way that it could fall asleep, but tired in every other way. What the hell was it supposed to want? What did "normal" people want? How the hell was it supposed to just figure this shit out??

It was starting to shake now, hot tears building up and threatening to spill down its cheeks. Its breathing quickened more, and it knew it needed to calm down or it was going to wake Astarion. It tried shifting out from under him without disturbing him when a sob caught in its throat and a strangled noise came out as it slapped its free hand to its mouth but it was too late. Astarion whined and shifted, blearily blinking his eyes open and looking up at Barry. As he took in its distressed state, he quickly sat upright, eyes wide with concern.

"Barry? Are you alright, love?" he spoke quietly, tentatively reaching a hand out towards them. Barry's face crumpled at their beloved's words, shaking their head as the dam broke and tears flowed down their face, sobs escaping in short bursts as they tried and failed to control their breathing.

"I'm sorry," they struggled to get those two words out as they broke down, shakily taking Astarion's hand.

"Oh pup, you don't need to be sorry," Astarion murmured, squeezing Barry's hand and rubbing his thumb over it soothingly. "Was it another nightmare?"

Barry shook their head again and tried getting their breathing under control so they could speak, but it was hard when they were so far into a meltdown, it just lead to them hyperventilating more as they grew upset at being unable to explain why this was happening.

"Can you try breathing with me, so you can tell me what's wrong?" Astarion reached his free hand up to Barry's face as he spoke, cupping their cheek and guiding their head up a bit so they were looking into each other's eyes.

Barry looked back at him and nodded, so Astarion started taking slow, deep breaths, and Barry did their best to follow suit. They were shaky and their breath hitched a few times but as they focused on the sound of Astarion breathing and his chest rising and falling, their own breath started to level out. Tears still ran down their face, slower now though, and Astarion gently pulled his other hand out of Barry's and cupped their other cheek, running his thumbs over both cheeks to wipe away the tears.

Barry closed their eyes, leaning into Astarion's touch as their breath finally settled to a more even rate. They were still shaking slightly, but they'd be able to talk soon, as soon as they could muster up the energy for it, now fully drained from the meltdown. Astarion saw how exhausted they looked and moved closer to them, arms moving to settle around their back. Barry pressed forward, wrapping their arms around Astarion and leaning their head against his shoulder. He pressed a kiss to their forehead, rubbing their back in slow circles and gently rocking the two of them back and forth in an effort to soothe his love.

"…thank you," Barry finally spoke up after a few minutes of being held, pulling away from the hug to sit up, though still close enough to lean against Astarion.

"Of course, love. Would you like to tell me what got you in this state, hm?" Astarion slipped his hand into Barry's once again, and they squeezed his hand gratefully.

"Oh you know, I was just doing what I do best, thinking about anything and everything until I'm spiraling," Barry grimaced, then sighed before continuing. "I was just thinking about what we're supposed to do now that there aren't any pressing threats, now that we're free to do whatever we want…I tried to think about what I want to do, came up blank, and it just went bad from there."

Astarion hummed in understanding, thumb gently rubbing over Barry's hand as he responded, "It is hard, having the freedom to do whatever we want, isn't it? At the very least we don't need to do anything immediately love, we can take some time to figure things out. And honestly we deserve a break after all we've gone through, yes?" He cocked an eyebrow and Barry let out an amused huff, nodding.

"And you don't have to figure everything out on your own, though I know you love trying to take it all on yourself. You have me, pup, and I'll be here to help however I can. We can take it slow for a while, then we'll decide what to do together, and we'll both keep working on wanting things," Astarion smiled warmly at Barry and they returned his smile, grateful for the reminder that they didn't need to do all of this alone.

"Thank you, my Star. I need to work on not getting so stuck in my own head…but there'll be time for that. We have all the time in the world, yeah?" Barry said.

"Exactly, my love. Now after that ordeal, would you like to lay back down with me for a while? We both deserve some more rest," Astarion offered.

"That does sound like a good idea, babe, I'm…so tired now, heh. And maybe we can take a bath when we get up?" Barry asked.

"That is a perfect plan, I'd love nothing more than that." Astarion brought their hands up to his face, kissing the back of Barry's hand.

Barry smiled tiredly, then settled back down into the bed, laying on their side and facing Astarion. Astarion followed suit, pulling the blanket farther up the two of them and then slipping one arm over Barry to pull them close.

"I love you Star," Barry murmured as they closed their eyes, feeling safe and content now in their love's arms.

"I love you too, pup."