#turian-human relations

[tarysande]

There are a couple more Garrus-Vakarian-related hills I'm willing to die on.

Maybe this particular bit of fanon has faded over the years, but there used to be a lot of insistence that Garrus is young and somehow inexperienced when he meets Shepard. Canon doesn't really support this. Turians start their mandatory service at 15. Garrus has at least a decade of experience. Even if he's 2-4 of years younger than Shepard (according to Patrick Weekes), he's got at least as much field experience as she does by dint of the difference in turian and human "enlistment" ages.

Garrus is really damn good at his job at C-Sec. You don't give the Case of Investigating the Rogue Spectre to a greenhorn. You give it to your best, most tenacious agent. Pallin may not always approve of Garrus's actions, but that doesn't actually stop him from putting Garrus on the tough case. Also, we don't know much about how C-Sec works but we do know a bit about how the turian hierarchy works, and we know C-Sec was essentially a turian initiative. That means it's a meritocracy where failure reflects on the superior, not the one who failed. So, in roughly a decade (Shepard's 29 in ME1; I always think of Garrus as about 27), Garrus has not only done shipboard military service, but he's also risen to be one of C-Sec's top investigators; Pallin wouldn't risk having Garrus's "failure" reflect poorly on HIM otherwise. I'd say that actually makes Garrus as remarkable in civilian law enforcement terms as Shepard is considered to be within the ranks of the Alliance military.

Of course Garrus was scouted by the Spectre program. And honestly, if his dad hadn't stepped in, I think Garrus would have become a Spectre, no problem. Especially for a turian, he's cut from precisely the cloth the Spectres would be looking for: extremely skilled, extremely capable, and--most importantly--he's a turian not just able but willing to work outside the chains of command that turians are taught from birth to revere and be loyal to above all else. This is the reason Pallin is leery about Spectres: he's a good turian. Good turians follow straight lines; they don't carve out their own paths.

Garrus's dad's not dumb, and he's not cruel, and he, too, rose to the top of the C-Sec hierarchy. He took one look at his kid, I think, and said, "I love my child, but I'd say it's a 50-50 chance he ends up a shooting-first-asking-questions-later Spectre like Saren Arterius, and I don't want to see that happen." Yeah, he uses his parental influence to try and jam square-peg-Garrus into round-hole-C-Sec and Garrus resents him for it, but there's no way he did it just to stop his son from getting his way or because he doesn't like Spectres. I expect Vakarian Sr. had to clean up more post-Spectre-interference messes than we can possibly imagine. But we also know he and Alec Ryder were pals later.

So the importance of what Garrus learns from a Paragon Spectre Shepard is this: You can't just do what you want and claim the ends always justify the means. That's what Saren does. Over and over again. Garrus's code and his idealism and his sense of justice and his ability to work alone should make him a great Spectre, actually, but he needs Paragon Spectre Shepard's actions to show him the lesson he tells her he's learned during ME1: "If the people I'm sworn to protect can't trust me... well, then I don't deserve to be the one protecting them." (And the seed of Archangel was planted.) I think for the first time he realizes that even though he believes his sense of justice to be correct, it doesn't matter for shit if he can't show others why that's so. And that's where the trust comes in. (Also, ow, the extra level of importance this gives their exchange where she tells him she trusts him and he tells her she's about the only friend he has left is... a lot. Cool, cool. I'm totally fine. Nothing to see here.)

When Shepard asks him what happened on Omega, he replies, "My feelings got in the way of my better judgement." Something tells me that this never happens to "good" turians, which just makes the line so much more devastating. And although the lesson some might take away from this is "feelings bad; no feelings ever," the "grey" that Garrus has to learn to deal with is precisely the grey of recognizing feelings, validating them even, but not acting on them until they've been examined. (Which is why my Shepard stands between him and Sidonis; she doesn't give a shit about Sidonis. But Garrus has refused to process his own feelings of failure and self-loathing, so they have to take the therapy session to the Citadel and deal with it there.)

Ahh yes. The mountain range of character analysis.

[lassieposting]

Anyway, I like to think there have been some amusing misunderstandings on the Normandy around Archangel-related media.

Shep and Tali, having an enthusiastic discussion about "the film", which they both claim to have seen recently and enjoyed. Tali is treating Shep to an indepth nerdy analysis of backstory and character development, which seems to puzzle Shep. Shep keeps bringing up lines she found funny, which Tali doesn't remember hearing. Both are silently thinking girl, did we watch the same vid???

To Joker, loitering nearby making himself a coffee, it becomes increasingly clear that they are talking about two different vids, both of which he has watched (for Ripping The Piss Out Of Garrus purposes, obviously)

Tali thinks they're talking about Archangel (2189), the human-made Marvel-esque movie by a big-budget studio, starring big-name actors - the turian who played Bellicus in Fleet & Flotilla and the hot asari from that movie Vaenia - in a fast-paced action-packed story about hope and justice and forbidden love. The one she went to see with Traynor, with the ending that made her cry.

But Shep, bless her filthy little heart, thinks they're talking about Archangel (2189), the cheesy low-budget porn parody produced by an indie studio on Omega, full of terrible jokes about projectiles and rockets and finishing three guys with one round, starring some long-fringed narrow-waisted well-endowed turian who is, in fairness, having the time of his life with that role, and a 98%-fake human woman in a terrible red wig and highly battlefield-inappropriate N7 armour. The one she's been quoting back and forth with Garrus all week, trying to make each other crease up or cringe at inconvenient times.

Now he just has to decide whether to wait for them to figure it out, or confuse them both even more by joining their conversation and talking about Archangel (2189), the new comic series in which the titular vigilante joins forces with his archenemy to defend Omega's people from invading Cerberus forces.

[sol-consort]

Aliens discovering our movies, art, books and video games and realizing why they’re all so precious to us

Like, a turian who comes from a high ranking family but just doesn’t have the abilities or skill the rest of their family has and it’s kinda outlasted for it puts on this old human vid called Encanto out of curiosity and by the end of it they’re a sobbing mess (whatever the turian equivalent of sobbing is) because “Mirabel just like me, fr fr.”

An Asari who just lost her first bondmate to old age and finding one of our sad songs about loss feels so touched by it and listens to it over and over again until she’s processed her own grief.

A Quarian who feel moved by a beautiful sculpture made of scrap metal and spare parts because it reminds them of the flotilla; a fleet of ships all held together with ductape, thread, and a prayer and yet still something beautiful.

The vibes I get from the other species is that they make their vids, games, books, and songs just to entertain, just background noise to fill the silence. Maybe they carry a deeper meaning sometimes but nothing compared to humans who pour their souls into their projects. Humans make fantastical stories out of the little parts of our lives that others can relate to and feel seen.

The handprint paintings on cavewalls come to mind. How instinctive drumming your fingers is how natural humming feels, how your brain spins stories before bedtime unprompted.

As much as war and disease have been parts of human history since the dawn of time, since the first spear was filled down, likewise music and art went with it hand in hand ever since the first flute was carved out, made from hollow birdbones and mammoth ivory, dating back to the time of ancients.

It's therapeutic. No one can deny the benefits of art on your mind and soul. It is what makes life worth living for many, the whimsy, the joy, the passion, the elation, the misery, the envy. The good and bad mirrors and reflections of our inner most desires, shameful feelings, and most creative ideas.

While the other species definitely don't lack in their culture and art—turians face tattoos borrowing from the batonical designs of nature—there is something to be said about the elcor deciding to adapt hamlet out of everything

There is a reason it's human music you hear playing at any self-respecting galactic club, ranging from the Citadel to Omega's own bars, the lights, the atmosphere, the valvety seats and soundtrack has a clear human touch. The human fashion which took over the asari modern wear like a swarm, inspiring many new designs combining the best of both worlds.

Humans aren't the only creative species, nor the one who care most about art. Rather, art comes naturally to us, all of us picked up colouring and drawing as kids, the urge to sing along to the radio, the desire to decorate your room, to spend hours moulding and sculpting characters in videogames even if they're end up wearing a helmet for the reminder of the story.

Art to us isn't necessarily a refined and polished thing like it is to the asari, neither is it an intricate impossibly complex dance with thousands of layers like the elcor. Our art is primal and integral. It's messy and often flawed. It's as mundane and common as the hair on our bodies, and it's everywhere. We breathe it into the world. Otherwise, it might sufficate it inside. It's so embedded within our whole existence that we are often blind to the more mundane forms of art, glossing over the way looking at sunsets gets our hearts slowing down.

Beauty was never the purpose of art for humans, but relief, communication, and self expression.

We look for art in everything, for a story under every unturned stone, for a poetic meaning behind the alignment of the stars, drawing shapes from their formation and assigning it meanings.

The other species could see that. it's what helped our reputation recover faster after the whole First Contact incident. What made the other species forgo their "bullies" perspective of humanity once they sampled our food, tasted our drinks, and were gifted bouquets of our flowers with cursive apologises worded so thoughtfully.

Art is the one thing you can't take from a human, we resort to it even during the most grim times of our life, especially during that, seek comfort in someone's creations, even quietly make our own versions inside the privacy of our heads. Just because art happens behind closed doors—or brains—doesn't mean it didn't happen. It's not a tree, it never required an audience to exist, its purpose is its mere just existence.

It's even infectious, wasn't the humans who got a krogan to agree and film a romantic comedy about falling in love with a human?

Do you think the hanar aren't absolutely fascinated by our tales of the sea, the ruthless spiteful ocean we seem to fear as much as we revere. The sirens, the krakens, the sailor shanties, the beautiful ships, and intricate wood carvings meant to bring luck.

Maybe the Turians can't get enough of human "coming of age" cheesy romcoms because our depictions of teenage rebellion and daring to be "selfish" and come into your own personhood is such a taboo amidst their military culture.

Or maybe they loathe it.

Instead, they prefer the stories about humans coming together to solve problems, realising the strength of cooperation, of beehive-like efficiency and utter trust in one another. Be it war films about soldiers coping with the cruel world while finding warmth in their comrades, or depictions of larger revolts where a whole population works together to put an end to their tyrannical leaders.

Maybe they're secretly Marvel fans, who knows.

Art doesn't have to be deep. It can be fun just for the sake of fun. Simple self-indulgence at its purest form. For every great classical piece of literature has been surpassed in sales by an erotica romance novelette with a shirtless cowboy on the cover.

I think the salarians would watch love paradise and other romantic reality shows about humans competing for one human's affection, hand in marriage, sometimes roses are involved—but salarians watch it with the same intensity of football fans watching a match, it is their own game of thrones, they don't care much for the sex but by the stars the "picking a mate" drama and gossip is equivalent to catnip for salarians

[katthekatt]

I know it's already a thing, but here is my take on a Saren/Nihlus reverse AU because I really wish we could see more of both of them. Spoilers for the whole Mass Effect 1.

Okay, so Saren, while on the Normandy, is cocky and doesn't believe Shepard is fit to be a Specter, although he does see them as capable based on their background. I still want Saren and Anderson to be the ones with history between each other, so while on the ship, both of them are very passive aggressive towards each other much like in the scene in front of the council with Saren being accused. Saren is dismissive of Anderson and thinks this whole thing is a joke while Anderson is at his wits end trying not to punch the turian for Shepard's sake. The rest of the crew pretty much dislikes Saren because of the way he acts, but agree he is all that because he can back it up.

On Eden Prime Saren is like Nihlus quick to run on his own because he believes the humans will slow him down. And while Shepard's part is much the same with some jabs between them and Saren when they get updates on each other, Saren's part as Nihlus is a bit different. When he recognizes Nihlus, he is more careful and doesn't turn his back on him and actually gets to fight him. This is due to Saren's more careful/paranoid nature, which ultimately saves his life, but he is still overwhelmed, and when Shepard gets to him, he is in critical condition. Everything proceeds normal after that, with Nihlus getting to the beacon and then Shepard breaking it.

For the first ark on the Citadel, Saren is in a coma due to his injuries, and Shepard has to fight with the Council to show Nihlus' part in this only for them to be dismissed. There is also a subplot of Saren being almost assassinated, which is where he can die for the first time in the game. If Shepard lets Saren die, it's because of Tali that Nihlus is revealed to be working with Matriarch Benezia and the geth. If Saren is saved, he wakes up on time to crash the council meeting while they are presenting the evidence against Nihlus and backs it up. Before departing from the Citadel but after talking with Anderson, with him revealing his history with Saren, Saren shows up, and you can recruit him. If you don't recruit him, he helps you from the side with connections. Saren also goes on his own to hunt for Nihlus while you are, and you run into him on several occasions. A consequence of not recruiting Saren ends up in special dialog in the second game with him already knowing about the collectors because of already being on his own investigating.

If you take him in your crew, you can find him on the bridge next to the galaxy map. Some of his special dialogs are about becoming a Specter, about Anderson, The council, and about Nihlus. Like Wrex and Garrus, he has a special mission related to a Specter investigation he had prior to being assigned to oversee you. In the beginning, he is closed off and seemingly annoyed about Shepard talking to him, but with the story's progression, his respect for you grows, and he is much more open for when you talk with him.

Taking him on Noveria has him recognized as a Specter, and entering is much easier. While traveling to the facility like Liara, he can talk about Matriarch Benezia, and when you have both of them on your team, they have a unique dialog about her. With fighting the rachni, he recognizes what they are and gives little comments like "Those were.. no, I'm probably mistaken" kind of lines. With the confrontation with Benezia, Saren speaks up about how low she has fallen. He seems unapologetic even when it's revealed she has been mind controlled. He is highly against letting the Rachni Queen go and berates you if you choose to spare her.

On Feros, if you take him, he is less concerned about the civilians and cares more about getting the mission done, so you experience a bit of what Anderson had to deal with. Saren is all for you to kill Matriarch Benezia's soldier when she is off of the Thorian's control. He again berates you if you spare her. When having to fight the civilians, he seems to have to issue with killing them before Joker mentions the gas granades. At the end of the mission, Shepard confronts him about his lack of care for the loss of civilian life and mention what Anderson told them. This is the second time Saren can die, this time at your hand, because if the argument escalates, he draws a gun on you. This conversation has a lasting effect on your relationship with him, even in the later games.

On Virmire, he has special dialog when confronting Nihlus and him almost being killed when trying to shoot him down. Other than that, he just comments on how capable captain Kirrahe and his team are.

Before the final assault on Ilos, Shepard and Saren have a talk, he comments on how he now sees Shepard if quite fit to be a Specter and that he was wrong about them after seeing them in action. If you take him with you on Ilos, he has a weird feeling about the place, and with the reveal at the end, he is quite surprised like everyone. With confronting Nihlus at the end, his choice words are influenced by your talk of Feros depending on your choices. If Nihlus kills himself, Saren congratulates him for being strong enough to do what was necessary if Shepard kills him in the first phase of the boss fight, Saren insults him for letting himself be controlled to the very end. With the start of the second phase, Saren's sentences go from "Even in death loyal to them, huh?" To "His sacrifice was meaningless at the end." At the very end, he congratulates Shepard and tells them he looks forward to working with them.

That is for ME1, I might post more of this with ME2 and ME3, plus more detailed relationships of Saren and the crew in the future.

[amadholes-lostre]

Your Mass Effect post (The Citadel one) is really cool, though I am a little sad that there aren’t any mentions about the Salarians. Do you have HCs for the alien amphibian folk?

Sorry, I not as invested as Salarians as I am to Asari. I have some ideas for them, but like not major ones.

-they have thr largest population in the galaxy: 25 trillions at least.

-They do practice some form of eugenics and selective breeding with their race. There likely will be testes similar to SAT, and if individuals, especially males, do not reach a certain score, they're automatically sterilized. The Citadel Council society should have some form of gene engineering to help people with disability either physically or neurologically, but Salarian society still practices it. I certain most sterilized Salarians, especially that of males, have children with Asari simply because of that and usually asperse and mocked by most of Salarians.

-they're definitely a matriarchal society. Honestly, humans, especially men, face a huge whiplash when entering CC society. Salarian politicians, the majority of whom are female, rarely take human politicians, many of whom likely are men, seriously and were detrimental to Human-Salarians. (In the eyes of many, Valern becoming CC councilor was viewed as shocking as no male ever held that position.)

-(not about Salarian but related to them. Since Asaris are a monosex race and therefore have no patriarchy, Salarians are a matriarchal society, and Turians are egalitarian, humanity faces cultural shock once entering Citadel society as i said before. And this is dependable on where they're: men could face belittle or condescending by either Asaris or Salarians in position they are qualified in, face sexual harassment or even rape by Asari, male or female Turians, or other races that they never face, and other things. The reason why Krogans and Batarian are hatred, other than trying conquering them [Krogans drop fucking moons on planets] and slavery is due to their patriarchal and misogynistic society).

-(On another note, I have an idea in my own Mass Effect triology rewrite where Femshep went to Chora's Den to talk to that sexist cop [don't care about him to look up his name] and before entering, an Asari and group of armed escorts confronted Den guards. The idea that Chora's Den is hated in Citadel station for not only mistreating their sex workers but refusing to sign the Pleasurer Guild regulations. The Asari is a representative of the Pleasurer Guild [something like a professional association and labor union for sex works like pornography, erotica, erotic photographical model, strippers, freelancer, and things like that] and the Guild is fucking piss at Fist for that. Idea is that Femshep helps them. I also had an idea that a Den's guard [a men] was throwing a fit and being misogynistic, and one of the escorts, a female Turians [who'salso like a meter taller than him], lay her backhand on his shoulder to show if he has any power, and the guy was scared shitless. A total Powerful Cunt Energy there.)

-(also, pyjak is now an anti-human slur. It was previously an anti-quarian slur, but now that humans are spreading across the galaxy in a fast, quickly establishing themselves thoroughly, and occasionally being an obnoxious, many nonhumans start calling them that.)

- Salarian family structure works through clans: an average clans will have a thousand members and a hierarchy through tiers. The top tier is the head matriarch, always a female, and she has exclusive right of who she could mate with and how long. (Salarians don't actually have sex reproduce. They just squat over an incubator pond and ejected their gamete over it). Next is like maybe a dozen females who have top priority of mating, allow to reproduce at least half a year. Next is females who aren't allow to reproduce but still have better rights and could the potential to breed in the future, and male who I calling bachelor. (Bachelors are male Salarians who are to mate with other clans females. It kinda works like bee drones, only that they negotiated breeding rights). The last tier and least respected tier are males and females who are not only sterilized but aren't allowed to apply in their version of higher education. They're forced to work in blue-collar jobs. I pretty sure like half or at least 1/3 of Salarians are in this tier.

-the sex ratio is like 1 female to 2 males due to this hierarchy arrangement. Females in 2nd and 3rd tiers use neural implant to control their ovulation cycle. So there's that.

- speaking of sex, their gender is probably either bonkers or nonexistent. There's likely clothing segregation based on sex, but that is more likely due to hierarchical status, like how medieval society has a restriction of color based on social caste. Females and males both wear robes and similar clothing, and it's likely there's no gender pronouns like Finnish pronouns.

-though their natural lifespan is 40 years, they definitely increase it into their hundreds. They have the ability to genetically alter Krogans and spread it globally simultaneously, they will definitely increase their lifespan (likely still shorter than humans 200+ years one though).

Can't think of anything else, toodles 👋.

[dragonflight203]

ME1 replay thoughts, wrapping up the Citadel quests:

-The Quarians have uncovered the most mass relays. Logical enough, since they spend all their time in space

-Fist is long gone, but everyone is still talking about him like he's alive. Not sure if that's a bug or an oversight on Bioware's part

-There are a lot of humans in the Wards. I'm going to assume Shepard's in the Citadel equivalent of Chinatown for humans

-There aren't any Turians in the Wards until the Markets. Was that intentional on Bioware's part because of humanity's poor relations with them?

-Conrad's "wife" will love him hanging a picture of femshep in their living room. Uh uh. Sure.

-Starting the Keeper quest by speaking to Jahleed sure leads to different results! Had to fight Chorban. And volunteering to scan the Keepers means I missed out on the paragon points when I returned to Jahleed. :/ Worth seeing once, but not repeating in the future.

-The Keepers and the Citadel are a total blackbox. How did anyone get the idea that inhabiting this place was a good idea, much less making it the center of government? And why don't they at least research it?

-Yep, running all over the Citadel again to scan the Keepers is very aggravating.

-Just how did Septimus learn Xeltan's secrets?

-Turians only wear those hoods in the Wards, not on the Presidium. There are Turians in casual clothes on the Presidium, so I suppose the hoods are just super casual? Like hoodies?

-The Banes person who blackmails Dr. Michel is built up, and then goes absolutely nowhere. Others have said it more eloquently than me, but it is a letdown.

-Shai'ra's words are a bit disappointing to me. Insightful, I suppose, but not so poetic to be beautiful or helpful to be meaningful. I don't mind helping her, but I'm not counting the words as a reward.

-And again once she's done with me and asks me to leave, because she's everything she can for me... I'm just saying, Shepard could probably use a massage. Or someone that isn't a crewmate to talk to. This is what makes me feel used. At least invite me back for tea next time I'm on the Citadel or something.

It's like the consort wants to know everyone except Shepard.

-The Signal Source sidequest is probably the closest Mass Effect comes to foreshadowing the end of ME3, sadly enough. And a large chunk of players probably never started it, and even fewer probably finished it.

-I should have realized Tali would object to possibly resolving matters with the Signal Source peacefully. Of course she would assume it would turn on us. And it insisting that organics must destroy or control synthetics doesn't help.

Still nothing that even hints at Synthesis.

-Interesting. It's possible that Schells was involved in its creation.

The creator originally created a machine to help funnel money from gambling terminals. That machine became an AI, which created the Signal Source, and the original machine was destroyed when the creator realized it was sentient. And who did I just run into that created a device for winning at Quasar in Flux?

However, the Signal Source says the creator is currently serving time in a Turian prison, so Schells probably isn't the creator. They may or may not know each other. Or the Signal Source could have been lying about the creator, the Turian Prison, or both.

-Running all over the Citadel to check each shop is so tedious. Money will become meaningless soon enough, but right now I have very little. At least I picked up a half decent armor for Tali.

[temperqnce]

Shakarian Heist-Fic

This is a small piece of a ridiculously long ME2 fic I've been keeping close to my chest and working on-and-off on for like. Ten years. This comes right after Garrus said something stupid on Purgatory (the for-profit ransom jail, not the club) that was insensitive considering her slavery-related PTSD (she has the colony background.) They worked it out. Next thing he knows, he's on a heist-date on Bekenstein, orchestrated by Kasumi. Shep's determined to mess with him a little while they're out. This is pre-relationship.

Please be nice, I have NEVER posted work publicly before!!!

Port Observation Deck

The door to the observation deck slid open and Garrus stepped inside. In front of him, the vastness of space glimmered with sparkling stars. To his right was a small, self-service bar and lounge - a civilian ship luxury, stocked with liquors of all colors in mostly regulation space-travel friendly cylinders. They were mostly levo drinks, friendly for most non-turian species, but a few were carefully separated and labeled dextro. He had come here once or twice before, to break the ice with some of the crew. Since Kasumi had moved in, she had taken over the left half of the room with tasteful displays of (mostly stolen) art and other personal effects, but there was still plenty of space to lounge and watch the stars go by. 

On the black corner couch in the middle of the room, Kasumi and the commander were chatting and having a few drinks. Shepard was on the half of the couch that faced the door. She was dressed down in some comfortable-looking civvies, and the two women seemed relaxed. Shepard had been intently listening to whatever Kasumi had been saying before Garrus entered the room. The two looked up at him and Shepard smiled brightly and stood. 

“Garrus! Thank you for coming by. We have a favor to ask of you. Come sit. I’ll get you a drink.”

“Anything for you, Commander,” he said, and obeyed, sitting next to Kasumi on the side of the couch facing the bar. 

Shepard came back shortly with an unfamiliar midnight-dark concoction that bubbled on the sides of a narrow-topped, spouted glass. “Jane. What is this?”

“Try it. I’ve been experimenting,” She said, looking a little devious as she sat back down.

“...Are you trying to kill me, Shepard? Is this revenge?”

“Of course not! Look, it’s just xin and Drossix, but with a sort of… Quarian twist. Trust me, okay?”

“Trust you? You haven’t even tried it. You couldn’t. This could actually kill you.”

“That’s an exaggeration,” Kasumi cut in. “She’d get indigestion, at worst. You know when they say ‘Drossix Blue makes human stomachs explode’ they just mean drunk assholes shitting themselves, right?” 

“...Right. Well, here goes nothing,” he said, and tossed back the drink in one gulp. Shepard’s eyes lit up, watching his face. The base of the cocktail was richly bitter and strong, but the bubbles popped tart and almost sweet on his tongue. The carbonation was dense, but the beverage went down smooth. He felt a light pleasant buzz hit the back of his brain. 

“Wow,” he said, setting the glass on the table. “That’s nice. When did you develop an interest in dextro bartending?” 

“Two of my closest friends are dextro, Garrus, it’s called cultural competence.” 

“Only one of those friends is a dextro that drinks.”

“Well… consider it me plying you for that favor.” 

“Right. You’ve liquored me up, now what do you two want with me?”

Kasumi and Shepard shared a conspiratorial look, and Kasumi nodded. The commander grinned at Garrus and asked,

“Do you wanna be my date on a heist?” 

Bekenstein

The self-driving cab descended, hovering ever closer to a huge compound taking up the edge of a dramatic cliff. The mansion at the center was made of tall glass walls and sweeping white curves. Spreading out around it were several warehouse facilities patterned almost like waves breaking away from the centerpiece. It was an incredible sight to behold as the sun crept towards the horizon and tinted the sky pink. The sunlight played gently on the mist that gathered over a vast and rocky canyon. Shepard was taking it in when Garrus grunted next to her. 

“Nice digs.”

“That’s an understatement.”

“Paid for in blood,” Kasumi darkly added in the seat behind them. “The rest of the compound is an arms manufacturing facility.” 

Kasumi had asked Shepard to help her infiltrate a party of high-class criminals. Hoarders of culture and art, elite mercenary bosses, corrupt politicians, arms dealers, the works. Their mission was to break into the vault belonging to the host and retrieve a greybox belonging to a fellow thief. From what Shepard could tell, Keiji had been Kasumi’s partner in crime as well as in life. The greybox contained his memories, and as if that weren’t precious enough, encrypted within them was some damning intelligence that could cause serious upheaval in the Alliance. Keiji had been killed and his memories stolen by the criminal and art mogul Donovan Hock. Shepard was going undercover as Alison Gunn, a mercenary alter ego designed and made almost real by Kasumi’s expert work online. 

“I still don’t know why you aren’t doing this with Jacob,” Garrus complained. “The two of you would probably make a more… believable couple.”

Kasumi snorted. “HAH. Doubt it. At best they would think he was her employee. At worst his domineering mother-in-law. Come on bud, you were a detective. Crime in Citadel Space is your thing.” 

The cab touched down in an empty roundabout in front of the main hall of the mansion. They were a tad late. The cab opened up, and Kasumi lithely hopped out. 

“Hey, I’m not old enough to be anybody’s mother-in-law!” Shepard called after her, adjusting the one bracelet she owned, a simple silver chain. She started to stand. “Trust me Garrus, this is better. Kasumi’s right, you have experience dealing with these types.” She climbed out of the cab the best she could in the dress Kasumi picked out for her. It was a black halter-top dress that showed off her muscular shoulders and back. It was entirely too clingy for ease of movement, accentuating the difference between her toned waist and her bulky thighs. “It also helps that you’re not borderline afraid of me.” 

Garrus laughed, climbing out after her. “Oh, but I am.”

“Are you?” She asked, amused. She turned to offer him a hand, and he took it, but with his long legs he was already out of the car. Instead he linked their elbows and gave her a wink. 

“Oh yes. You’re terrifying. Squishy, but terrifying.” 

“Squishy?”

“Let’s move, lovebirds!” Kasumi called. The art thief was standing next to a second car fiddling with her omni-tool. As she worked, the car opened and a large gold statue of the turian spectre and infamous legend Saren Arterius slid out on a hoverplate. “We still have to go over the plan one last time.” 

They huddled together around the gaudy statue. “This really is tasteless. I can’t believe he’s taking it,” Garrus commented. 

“After a certain point, wealth actually makes your taste infinitely worse,” Kasumi said matter-of-factly. “The richest of the rich have houses full of garbage. You’ll see once we get inside.” She grimaced. “Can’t put a price on your soul.” 

“So, Garrus and I go in as merc leader Alison Gunn and…” Shepard trailed off, at a loss. “What’s Garrus’ cover? He’s famous in his own right these days. And as cool as it would be to bring Archangel, he’s supposed to be dead.” 

“Oh, I’ve got a name for the big guy,” said Kasumi. “You’ll be attending as Altus Avaros. No cool background, you’re just a wife guy. Pure arm candy.” 

“I can do that,” said Garrus, addressing Kasumi but staring at Jane, who had doubled over in silent giggles, covering her mouth with her free hand. Kasumi grinned knowingly at Garrus’ confused stare. 

“Let’s just hope there aren’t a lot of guests like our girl that know both Palaven Standard and Latin.” 

“Do I wanna know?” Garrus asked while Shepard pulled herself together. Big bird. BIG BIRD. She wanted to tell him but she knew it would ruin it. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Kasumi smiled innocently. “You two are going to go in. Schmooze a little, but not too much. We don’t want people asking you too many questions or your aliases will fall apart. Then we locate the vault, find its weaknesses, and I’ll guide you through exploiting them. I’ll be with you, and scouting around the house unseen. The statue will smuggle our weapons and armor for when we get into the vault. You can keep your sidearms. They’ll probably expect you to.” 

After briefing, Kasumi vanished, leaving the pair to start up a set of stone stairs, hovering Saren statue in tow. 

“I still can’t believe you called me squishy,” Shepard jabbed, elbowing her date as they walked.

“Speaking of squishy, where are you hiding your pistol in a dress that tight?” 

She snorted. “I could show you, but then I’d have to kill you.” 

The interior of the mansion had an incredible view of the sunset given that the entire western wall was made of glass and crystal. The center of the main room had a water feature, a large but gentle fountain with benches nearby for sitting. To either side, roped off sets of spiral stairs, and beyond those, alcoves of priceless paintings and art. The host hadn’t shown himself yet and Kasumi was scoping out the vault entrance, so Garrus and Shepard browsed the exhibits. 

The two made thoughtful noises here and there as they walked slowly through the displays. Eventually, Shepard sighed.

“Is it just me,” she whispered, “or is this…?”

“The most bored you’ve ever been in your life?” Garrus leaned over to rumble in her ear. 

“Oh thank God. It’s not that I don’t like art, it’s just-”

“Hey, you don’t have to pretend to be cultured around me.” 

“Really though! Kas was right, this stuff is uniquely bad!” 

“You know, I bet it’s better with booze. Everything’s better with booze.” 

“Garrus, we shouldn’t. We’re on a-”

“My name is Altus, thank you, and I’m already walking away. Don’t go anywhere,” he said, and he was around the corner and out of sight. 

Shepard grumbled and sat down on a bench by a small fireplace. The fire was set into the wall opposite the paintings they were looking at, which also hosted shelves upon shelves of books and knick knacks. She was about to pick up a book when a pale human male with a jar-shaped head and the worst facial hair she’d ever seen sat down next to her. 

“Alison Gunn, I presume?” he said in a bizarre accent she couldn’t place, holding out his hand. Jane took it and smiled politely. 

“Yes, good to meet you, Mr…?”

“Hock. I am your host tonight,” He said smoothly. Instead of shaking her hand, Donovan Hock lifted her hand delicately and pressed it to his lips. Shepard’s stomach soured. “Are you enjoying the party thus far?” 

“I am, Mr. Hock. You have a breathtaking home,” Shepard did her best to maintain a level countenance as she took her hand back. If she could be cool under gunfire, this should be easy. Right?

“Please, call me Donovan, Ms. Gunn. And thank you for the compliment. I paid the architect three times his usual fee for his undivided attention and for dealing with participation on my part. I wanted it to reflect my tastes well,” He smiled slyly at Shepard. She felt her face start to traitorously wrinkle with disgust, and schooled it into something more like vague interest. “Come with me across the gallery for a moment, will you?” Hock continued. “I would like to show you something.” 

“This is good,” Kasumi chimed in Shepard’s earpiece. “I need a voice sample from him, it’s one of the keys to the vault. Keep him talking.” 

“Alright,” Jane said in reply to both, and she stood to follow Hock. 

Hock took her out of the northern gallery alcove and around to one of its outer walls facing the back windows. On a pedestal against the wall, was that… an old Earth optical disc? It was huge. Wider than Hock’s own massive head. 

“I admire your work, Ms. Gunn,” The man began, stepping uncomfortably close. “You keep the barbarians at bay. Those backward-thinkers that try - and always fail - to stop people like me from doing what is necessary to keep the world turning. You understand the value of my work. I appreciate that.” He gestured to the disc. “You see this? A relic of a bygone age. If it weren’t for people like us, making the right moves, making the difficult choices, doing the galaxy’s dirty work… humanity would be stuck in the dark ages. Swinging clubs and writhing in the mud.” He stepped aside and let the colorful, sparkling gradient of sunset light behind them shine on the reflective surface of the disc. 

“That was… an enlightening speech, Mr. Hock,” Shepard managed to say, turning back to the host. “And of course I agree. I appreciate that we, uh, share that understanding.” She forced herself to smile. 

“There is much I have to share with beautiful women, Ms. Gunn,” Hock said smoothly, sliding back into her personal space. Shepard felt her biotics flicker, her hand twitching and the back of her neck getting warm. She clenched her fist and-

“Heyyyy, honey, I got that drink you wanted!” Garrus said cheerfully, sliding one arm around Shepard’s waist and putting a champagne flute in her hand with the other. The maneuver effectively created a barrier on all sides of her body for a moment, and forced Hock to back up. Jane felt her building rage and tension soften. Trust Garrus to be a smooth operator, she thought, relieved. 

“Sorry, Shep,” Kasumi said in her ear. “I had to hold him back for just a second while I got the recording. But we’re good, so you guys can feel free to get Hock out of your hair.” 

The art mogul scowled, then schooled his expression and tilted his head up slightly as if to look down at the pair. If that were possible, given that Garrus was at least a whole head taller than him. 

“Mr. Hock, I appreciate you inviting my wife and I into your home tonight,” Garrus said warmly, pulling Shepard a little tighter into his side. “It’s a gorgeous place. We were just talking about how captivating the view is. You wouldn’t mind if I stole her away for a moment on the balcony…?” 

“Of course, please. I have other guests to attend,” Hock said coolly. “Thank you for your time, Ms. Gunn.” 

Shepard smiled as sweetly as she could at him, not trusting herself to speak, and let Garrus lead her down the hall and out the glass door to the wide balcony overlooking the canyon. An air highway crossing the canyon led directly into the sweeping skyline of Milgram, Bekenstein’s capital city. The buildings there were some of the tallest she’d ever seen outside of the Citadel.

Garrus let go of her waist once they reached the edge. They stood next to each other, not touching anymore but still close, resting their glasses and their arms on the thick balcony railing. They were quiet, taking in the view. Then,

“Sorry. For grabbing your waist.” 

Jane was surprised. “No need. It’s fine.” 

“No, I mean. It’s more normal for humans than it is for turians,” Garrus explained, an edge of nervousness to his voice. “We don’t really do… public displays of affection, even with partners or family. I had to sort of code-switch for a minute, and it’s fine surrounded by mostly humans. But… I would have been slapped, doing that back home. So. I feel like I need to apologize out of respect for you, even though… it doesn’t mean much to you. As a human.”

“Hmm,” Shepard said, thoughtful. It was endearing of Garrus to think so much about their cultural differences. He seemed to know a lot more about what was normal for her than she did for him. She would have to catch up. “I’m not sure what I should say.”

“You don’t have to say anything.” 

“I appreciate you. For stepping in. It was good timing.” 

Garrus chuckled softly. “Well… again, normally I wouldn’t do something like that. I know you’re capable of handling yourself. But normally you’d be able to hand a guy his ass with very few consequences.” 

“Yeah,” Shepard sighed. “I really wanted to do it.”

“Kick his ass?”

“Yeah.” 

“Me too,” he admitted ruefully. “Did you know I was top of my class for hand-to-hand combat in the academy? I bet he doesn’t know that.”

“Maybe he’ll get to find out later,” Shepard mused. “The night isn’t over yet.” 

“You’re right,” Garrus sighed. He tapped his glass with a talon. “You should drink this. It’s good.” 

“Your drink?”

“No. Our drink. We’re drinking the same thing.” Shepard had failed to notice that the pale, icy-green colored liquid was in both of their glasses.

“How is that-”

“It’s a newer kind of dual-chirality wine,” He explained. “Asari-made. Levo and dextro friendly, without the weird taste. I’ve been wanting to try it for a while, but it’s expensive, and, well, I didn’t want to do it alone. There was never a right moment.”

“But now, on this rich asshole’s dime…”

“Exactly.” 

Shepard touched her glass to his, a pleasant chime ringing over the vast canyon in front of them, then she took a slow sip, savoring the moment. It hit her tongue tart but settled dry, somehow both intense and impossibly light, like someone had taken an Earthen white wine and hit it with a particle accelerator. Whatever undoubtedly alien ingredients they used reminded her more of lychee and pear than of grapes. 

“Wow,” she said. “This is nice. I like it a lot.” 

“I’m glad. I’ll have to find some on the Citadel the next time we go.” 

“Thank you, Garrus. For this, and for earlier.”

“You know I’ve always got your back.” 

Static buzzed in Shepard’s ear. 

“You guys are gross. Married for all of five minutes and already making me puke,” Kasumi teased in their ears. “Get back inside, I got everything we need to get in the vault. It’s time to get suited up.” 

Jane felt a blush coming on. She left her glass on the balcony and grabbed Garrus’ hand, doing her best to twine their mismatched fingers together and pull him back indoors. They descended the stairs to the long hallway that led to the vault. 

“Hold on,” Garrus started, and they froze on the last step. “Guards coming down the other side.” Sure enough, Shepard saw the shadows of two armored men lingering at the top of the stairs at the other end of the hallway. A wicked idea fixed in her mind and she flashed a wide grin at her partner. 

“Oh, that’s easy,” she said, and with her left arm she tugged him down the last step while with her right she shoved him up against the wall. She got a rush of satisfaction at witnessing his shock and nervousness, his eyes wide and his hands up in disarmed surrender. “I know you just said turians don’t like PDA, but…”

“I’m sure I’ll survive,” he replied quickly with an urgent glance down the hall.  

How does one kiss a turian? Shepard mused, pressing up against him and elbowing his arms down. The guy doesn’t have lips. She supposed she’d have to improvise. Garrus settled his hands on her hips tentatively and she wrapped hers around the back of his neck, gently craning his neck so she could reach him. A mandible is like a jaw, right? A sensitive, more expressive part of a jaw? She placed soft kisses down the uninjured side, smiling at the panicked heartbeat she felt reverberating in his chest. What happened to Mr. Suave? She wondered, before finally pressing the first of a series of exploratory kisses on his mouthplates. Kissing turians won’t be necessary, she heard her own voice in the back of her mind say to Ashley in the Cargo Bay all those years ago. She was okay with being wrong. Not because she was into it, or anything, of course. Just to get under the usually cool and confident sniper’s skin. And by his reaction… shallow breathing, tightly fluttering mandibles, a high timbre in his chest that she could only describe as acute distress… she had succeeded. That was pure satisfaction. 

She was lost in figuring out how to describe what his very foreign mouth tasted like when she heard a cough from behind her. Garrus had apparently forgotten what they were doing all of this for, because he jumped a little and let go of her quickly, like a teen having been caught under the bleachers. That was fitting enough, though, and Jane stepped back, making a show of fixing herself up though he hadn’t done anything other than attempt to kiss her back and clamp onto her hips for dear life. 

The two Eclipse guards looked some combination of embarrassed and dumbstruck. Turian-human couples weren’t very common, for good reason. “Sorry for the uh, interruption, ma’am,” one of them said, flushing and not meeting her eyes. “Just - well. This hallway isn’t off-limits, per-se, but it’s not private, either. You might wanna… I mean. Mr. Hock’s estate is extensive, I’m sure staff could find you and your, uh, friend a room if you wanted.” 

Shepard gave the men her most devastating smile. “Thanks, boys. We’ll finish up here and probably head home.”

“Of course, ma’am,” the guard said, and quickly moved along, elbowing his partner to follow him.

When they were out of sight, Shepard turned back to Garrus, whose blue-flushed neck was slowly returning to normal along with his steady breathing. He glowered at her. 

“You enjoyed that a little too much, Commander.”

“Aww, was it really that bad?” Shepard pouted. 

The blush returned. “No! No, I, uh, well, it was, uh. Just. New,” he spluttered. “Different.”

“Calm down, big guy, I’m only teasing,” she laughed, and grabbed him by the elbow to pull him down to the vault door. 

She was going to have to thank Kasumi later. This was the most fun she’d had on a mission in a while. 

--------

Kasumi flipped backwards off Hock’s gunship and back down onto some shipping containers in the coolest feat of acrobatics Jane had ever seen.

“I do love a professional,” Garrus buzzed in her ear. She could hear the smile in his voice through the radio. Having disabled the ship’s shields, the only thing left to do was blow it out of the sky. 

Shepard pulled out her grenade launcher and crouched to load it. High on the landing pad but behind some crates, Kasumi made quick and precise shots with her pistol at the windows of the gunship, clearly going for Hock’s head. Garrus popped up from his spot on the opposite side of the platform from Shepard, shot a few strategically-aimed high-caliber rounds, then disappeared to reload. Shepard could hear them both muttering to themselves over the radio. 

“Take that, you bastard. I hope one of these lobotomizes you but keeps you alive so I can shoot you a few more times you sick fuck-”

“-turian design, weak points in the armor… here, here, and… here-”

Shepard looked up and hefted the grenade launcher to her shoulder. She waited for Hock to pause between his hail of bullets and the next round of pummeling rockets. She charged her shields, hoping to draw Hock’s attention. She popped up and rapid-fired, three grenades at once. She figured one or two of them might interrupt the barrage while the other snuck past. Garrus also popped up. Hock fired his missiles. But not at Shepard. 

“Shit-” Jane heard, and then Garrus’ radio cut out. 

-----

Garrus hit the ground. Hard. Something buzzed on the screen of his visor and his radio cut. Diagnostics told him he’d cracked a tiny part of the receiver - no big deal, he could weld that back together with his omni-tool. 

His combat HUD told him all three grenades Shepard sent off had hit the gunship square on. Kasumi cheered, loud enough that he’d picked it up without the aid of his radio. Safe now from rocket fire (thank the spirits) he sat up to take his visor off and quickly zap it back into shape. He thought he heard the commander yelling from pretty far away. Then suddenly she was right in his face. 

She’d lept over his cover and landed haphazardly beside him, then grabbed his shoulders with force that would have completely fucked his welding if he hadn’t had the presence of mind to stop. Her eyes were wild and her hands were shaking. Concerned, Garrus wrapped his hands around her elbows in what he hoped was a comforting grip. 

“Jane? What’s wrong?” He asked, thoroughly confused. 

“Rocket,” she said between heavy breaths from the dead sprint she must have been in. “You didn’t pop back up.”

Oh. 

“I’m fine,” he said, his subvocals coming out low and warm, the emotion stronger than he expected. He squeezed at the joint of her arms. “Just broke the receiver in my visor. I was fixing it.” 

She shoved him a little, clearly miffed, and knocked a fist against his armor. “You have at least two backup radios. What did I get you this stupid suit for? You and that damned visor.” She shook her head, but smiled as he pulled it out to finish the quick weld. 

“Guys! The Kodiak is almost here,” Kasumi called from above, leaning over the railing of the landing pad. “We probably want to get out as soon as we can.”

“Got it,” Shepard said while Garrus gave an affirmative hand signal, and the thief disappeared.

Garrus replaced his patched-up visor and re-connected to their combat frequency, then caught Jane’s arm before she started vaulting over the concrete barrier between them and the stairs. The playing-pretend part of the evening might have been long-since over, but he couldn’t forgive himself if he didn’t see the bit all the way through. 

“Before we go,” he said quickly to her surprised face, “I just… wanted to say thanks. This was fun.” 

The commander’s expression was caught between amusement and confusion, a small, open smile showing while her brows furrowed. She looked away from him, blinked a few times, then said, “Uh, yeah, it was, wasn’t it? I’m… glad.” She seemed to gather herself, then looked at him again, smiling in a more relaxed way this time. “I’d say we should do it again sometime, but…”

“What, get invited to a high-class criminal soiree, drink their booze, steal their shit, and blow it up? I’m game if you are.” 

“It’s a date,” she said, winking at him, then she slung herself over the concrete divider and hurried up the landing pad stairs. 

His heart was hammering, all of the sudden. 

It was just a joke. Wasn’t it? 

Shit. 

-------- 

Garrus found himself back where all of this had started, staring at the Normandy’s meager selection of dextro liquor and mixers in the starboard lounge. He was alone, thank the spirits. Shepard and Kasumi were debriefing in the commander’s cabin, deciding the fate of the greybox. 

He thought about trying to mix up what Jane had made for him before the mission, but he didn’t really have the presence of mind to recreate it properly. He poured himself a glass of straight xin and sat on the couch with a huff. 

Over and over again, his mind was replaying that moment on the stairs, right before they broke into the vault. He’d frozen up completely, as nervous as a fledgling boy. He was damned near thirty years old, he should have been able to do something. Anything at all. Shit, he’d wanted to. Run a hand through her hair. Pull one of her legs over his hip. Try to find where she’d hidden that gun… Just to be convincing. To the mercs who were watching. The patrolling mercs that he had forgotten about as soon as she started kissing him. 

The door behind him slid open and Kasumi walked in, silent as the grave. She placed her greybox on her desk gently and sat on the couch on her side of the room, pulling her legs up to her chest and resting her head on her knees. 

“You don’t have to leave,” she said as he started to get up. Her voice was calm. He rose to his feet anyway.

“I was going to ask if you wanted a drink,” he said, gesturing to his cup. She looked up at him and smiled faintly. 

“Pour me half a glass of that blue bottle up top, and fill the rest with the red juice in the fridge. I’m feeling like a party girl,” she said with a hiccuping laugh. Garrus couldn’t see her eyes under her hood, but he’d wager high creds that she was crying. 

He did as she asked and brought it to her, sitting down on the other side of the same couch. 

“Are you… alright?” he asked slowly. She took a few small sips from her glass before answering. 

“Yes. And no,” she said. “I’m keeping the greybox. It’s all I have left of Keiji. But… I don’t think the commander approves. It was a hard conversation.” 

Garrus nodded, staying quiet. He watched her wipe tears out from under her eyes. 

“She said it was my decision. But that Keiji wouldn’t have wanted me to have a target on my back for the rest of my life. That he’d have wanted me to live in reality and not in the past. She was right.” 

“She has a way of being right about things,” Garrus grumbled. “It’s pretty annoying.” 

Kasumi laughed again, sniffled a little. “I got pissed at her anyway. I yelled. What does she know about what Keiji would have wanted? She doesn’t know him like I do. Nobody does,” she shook her head. “But she didn’t even get mad. She just gave me a hug and let me cry. She said she wouldn’t judge my choices. But I don’t know, Gare. It just… feels so wrong, to disappoint her. She’s so…” she trailed off, at a loss for words. 

“I know,” Garrus said, setting his glass on the table. He leaned towards her a little, trying to see if he could catch the shine of her eyes. “Look, I’m not the best guy for this kind of advice. You know where loss sent me. But it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. That’s something I’m… learning lately,” he admitted gruffly. “Give yourself some time. Keep it for now. But with the intention of saying goodbye,” he watched her nod slowly, clutching her glass with two hands and rubbing her knuckles for comfort. “Work your way towards being able to let it go, and then… I dunno. Blow it up over an ocean, or something. Jettison it into a star. Make it special.” 

Kasumi smiled at him warmly. “Thanks Garrus. That sounds… nice. I’ll think about it.” She swung her legs to the floor and set her glass on the low table in front of her. 

“No thanks necessary. A turian lives to serve.”

She snorted and leaned back, crossing her arms. “Right, sure. If we’re keeping score, you owed me, anyway.” 

“How so?” Garrus asked, tilting his head curiously.

“Who do you think suggested you come with us?” She grinned devilishly. “After you shoved your foot in your mouth on Purgatory I thought maybe you could use a chance to get back in the lady’s good graces.” 

Garrus’ jaw dropped. “Uh,” he scrambled, “Kas, we’re not, I’m not, uh,” Shit. Fuck. Shit.

“Could you hear the noises the giant bug orchestra in your chest was making when Hock was all over her? And when she was all over you?” 

“You could hear that?” He asked, panicked. Most humans could tell something was playing underneath a turian’s primary vocals, but rarely could discern the difference between one tone and another. Their hearing was simply not sharp enough, their brains untrained to identify the nuances. It was something turians could often use to their advantage in interspecies engagement: a facade of emotional detachment was useful in negotiations of all kinds. 

“I’m the best thief in the galaxy, Vakarian. I’ve got a few upgrades. Understanding how people feel is important in any kind of undercover work… as you know, detective.” There was an impish sparkle to her countenance that Garrus resented. There went the one advantage to being the only turian on this ship. 

“The commander has a… a partner,” Garrus insisted, echoing the language Shepard used in their conversation on the Citadel. “He’s my friend, too. I’m not interested in getting mixed up in that. You can read whatever you want into my interactions with her, but we’re just friends. She’s important to me. I’m loyal to her. She’s… frustrating, sometimes. That’s all.” He hoped that was convincing enough. He wasn’t sure which one of them he was trying to convince the most. 

“Sure, Gare,” Kasumi said slyly. “Whatever you say. I’ll keep your little secret. But I don’t think it needs to be kept.” 

Garrus was about to ask what she meant when the door to the room slid open and Shepard stumbled in out of breath. He stood quickly, almost dropping his drink. 

“Jane. What’s happening?” 

“Another colony is being hit. Now. I just set a course,” she gasped for breath, then locked gazes with him, her eyes filled with fear. “Garrus. It’s Kaidan.”

~~~~~~~~~ That's the end folks. Someday maybe in another ten years I'll post more lmao

[teamdilf]

AO3 Q&A

Tagged by @omniblades-and-stars - thanks!

Tagging: @ariannaserissa, @davenswitcher, @gefionne

You can find me here!

How many works do you have on AO3?

202

(I have no idea why the text is this big but Tumblr formatting, go home, you're drunk.)

What's your total word count?

3,913,208

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Come Back Alive - Shepard/Garrus - Mass Effect.

Set during the last weeks of the Reaper War and then the first 15ish years following the war as Shepard and Garrus build their life together in retirement.

2. Cerberus HR Presents: Sexual Harassment in the Workplace - a Miranda Lawson Seminar - Shepard/Garrus - Mass Effect.

After an incident perpetuated by an unnamed crew member (Kenneth; we all know it’s Kenneth), Cerberus HR, in a bid to protect crew safety and morale, forces Miranda to put on a sexual harassment seminar.

The crew, of course, acts in an entirely mature fashion and there are absolutely no shenanigans whatsoever.

3. Rook, No. - Rook & Solas and Lavellan/Solas - Dragon Age.

As roommates of a very specific sort, Rook learns quickly that the actual disaster of an ancient god sharing space with her is easy to annoy. Better: annoying him is actually really fun. Not Veilguard-compliant but speculative based on the preview content released.

4. In Search of a Sniper - Shepard/Garrus - Mass Effect.

With Zaeed not cutting it on the sniper front, Shepard insists they go after Archangel - at least until Cerberus can track down Garrus.

Now in Archangel’s hideout, she receives the surprise of a lifetime…

5. Krogan Observations on Human-Turian Relations - Shepard/Garrus - Mass Effect.

Wrex doesn’t particularly like the turian, but watching him moon over Commander Shepard is a particular source of amusement for Wrex. Maybe he’ll even grow to like the pup.

Wrex’s POV on the relationship between Shepard and Garrus.

Do you respond to comments? Why/Why not?

I do! I always love to read what people think about my work.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

How We Met - the story of how Castis met his wife, Cecilia. It gets into her terminal illness and the last chapter is such a damned gut punch that left me distraught as I wrote it.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I write a lot of happy endings but I'll go with a recent fic of mine - A Melody in a Forest. It's set three years post-Veilguard and does contain ending spoilers.

I picked it specifically because I waited a long time for the ending to Iris and Solas' story and being able to give them their happiness - canonically, brought me a lot of joy as I was writing it.

Do you write crossovers?

I've written one - a BG3/Dragon age crossover called Glowing Glass.

Oh, and a Barbenheimer fic too, I suppose, which was a short little thing I wrote to cheer myself up in the summer of 2023

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I have. Please don't do this - it's such a cruel thing to do, and I recall posting a chapter I'd worked so very hard on, that I was extremely proud of, and receiving an unkind comment that made me bawl my eyes out. It was a real kick to the confidence and I happened to be on vacation at the time, so it spoiled what should have been a relaxing long weekend.

Do you write smut?

Occasionally but not especially often. I'm not a confident smut writer so it's always a little nerve-wracking to post it.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No and I don't think I ever would.

What's your all time favorite ship?

I have a lot of ships I'm fond of but Lavellan/Solas is the one I've been drawn to for years so I've got to give it to them. I came and went from the fandom but they always remained in my heart.

What's a WIP that you want to finish don't think you ever will?

It's unposted but I've got one or two chapters left of a Shepard/Adrien Victus fic that I'd like to finish one day but I'm not sure I ever will.

I also have a fic that looks at the final year of Adrien Victus' life, and his daughter, Aurelia, working to write/draw a graphic novel based on her father's life. I've written about 10,000 words and it's just so damned sad and tough to make progress on. I don't know if I have it in me to finish it.

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and character voice, but also comedy. I write some very good comedy!

What are your writing weaknesses?

Action scenes - so much so that when I was writing Blume, I very nearly cut the action scene that wound up being the climax of the fic because I was so sure I wouldn't do the scene justice. I'm proud of how it came out and a lot of stress and tears went into that chapter.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I've done it in a very limited manner, but generally prefer to just indicate that they're speaking another language rather than trying to write dialogue in another language.

What's the first fandom you wrote for?

I posted a Lost fic as a teenager but the first fanfic I ever wrote was for Pirates of the Caribbean. I have it hidden in a notebook somewhere!

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet, but want to?

I have an idea for a de Riva Rook/Lucanis one shot that I may write someday.

What's your favorite fic you've ever written?

Cerberus HR Presents: Sexual Harassment in the Workplace - a Miranda Lawson Seminar might be the one I'm most proud of, if only because I can re-read it and find myself laughing at my own jokes.

The Wolf's Flower - It's now firmly an AU, but I was proud of how I took all of the hints/preview material we'd received and wrote about how Iris and Solas found one another again, and the consequences of Solas' actions after he was found and stopped. I wrote this back when I was unsure we'd ever get an ending to Lavellan and Solas' story so I found a lot of comfort in finding an ending of my own that satisfied me.

[mushroommanchanterelle]

Part 2 of the Shakarian fic I'm playing around with

The sound of whirring gears floods the vehicle bay as the elevator makes its slow descent. The door opens to reveal Garrus Vakarian, mandibles slacked to the sides of his face. He holds a warm thermos in his hand, and staggers out of the vehicle bay. The former detective takes up his usual position beside the Mako and slumps onto the ground, taking a long sip of whatever fluid resided within the insulated walls of his metallic cup. Across the room from him, Urdnot Wrex chuckles to himself.

“You look more like shit than usual, Garrus.”

The turian groans and looks up from his drink, locking eyes with the krogan warrior.

“Not now, Wrex. I’ve got enough to think about already. I don’t need extra commentary.”

“Suit yourself. Haven’t seen you this bent out of shape since we recruited your sorry ass.”

Garrus props himself up against the Mako’s tire, sitting up straight instead of slumping over.

“Wrex, if I wanted your opinion, I would have asked. Besides, it’s not something you’d know a damn thing about anyways.”

As Wrex opens his mouth to speak, the door to the engineering bay opens. Tali’Zorah hurriedly steps out of the room, looking between the two disgruntled men.

“Are you two fighting again? Why is it that the moment I turn my back, you’re at odds? Doesn’t Shepard take you along with her enough to form… I don’t know, some sort of combat bond?”

Garrus twinges at the sound of Shepard’s name, looking back down at his thermos. Wrex, taking note, gives a hearty belly laugh.

“Ahh that’s what’s bothering you. What did Shepard do this time? You mad she took Kaiden and Tali out instead of us?”

“It’s not that it’s… It’s…”

Beneath the mask, Tali’s face lights up.

“I know that look. I’ve seen enough vids to know where this is going. You’ve got feelings about her, don’t you?”

The quarian mechanic walks over to Garrus and sits beside him, offering a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“Come on, Garrus, out with it. You know you can talk to us. Or…at least me.”

Wrex crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the wall.

“What, don’t trust me, turian?”

Garrus sighs, lowering his mandibles. He looks down, then between Tali and Wrex.

“It’s just… I heard Shepard talking with Kaiden this morning.”

Tali gently pats his shoulder.

“I take it you didn’t like what you heard? I didn’t think Kaiden was the sort to go after a woman like Shepard…they always seemed more like siblings to me.”

“No, it’s not like that. They were talking about ME.”

Wrex stretches his neck. “So they were gossiping. Hardly enough to warrant a reaction like this.”

Tali shoots him a look that permeates through the thick shielding of her helmet, then returns her gaze to Garrus. Immediately, Wrex puts his hands up and leans back against the wall.

“What were they saying, Garrus?”

“It was a little hard to make out from the elevator, but it sounded like Kaiden was teasing Shepard. I think I heard him say that she was up late thinking about me, but she pulled rank to shut him down. I… I think Shepard might have some feelings that I’m not sure I know how to handle.”

Wrex sighs and shakes his head. “I don’t know what’s so difficult about it. Just send a breeding request and be done with it.”

Tali shakes her head and retorts with fire in her voice, “Quiet Wrex. This is a delicate matter! Romance is an art form and needs to be handled with tact.” She returns to Garrus once again, having silenced their krogan counterpart. “Garrus, if you don’t want any advances, you don’t have to take them. You don’t need to entertain Shepard if you don’t feel the same way.”

“That’s the thing, Tali. I DO feel the same way. It’s…complicated. I’ve had relations before, but never a true relationship. I don’t even know how compatible turians and humans are. Tensions are still fairly high between our peoples and…”

Tali gently cups Garrus’s cheek, offering a reassuring smile just barely visible through the purple glass. “Garrus, love always finds a way. If you really feel that way, why not talk to her about it?”

Wrex lets out a disgruntled huff, looking off to the side indignantly. 

“I don’t see the fuss about it. You like her, she likes you. It sounds to me like a done deal. Quit your whining and get it over with already.”

“As much as I’d love to, I don’t even know that much about Shepard. I don’t know if we have the same interests, or hobbies… I don’t even really have any hobbies. I think this requires some careful research…”

Tali chuckles and relaxes beside him.

“If anyone can figure it out, it’s you. Don’t think too hard about it. The best way to get to know someone is to talk to them. Maybe get her a present. Every woman I know loves getting presents.”

“Alright, that sounds like a good place to start. But…what sort of gift do I even get? And where? Shepard doesn’t seem like the chocolate kind of person, and we hardly go anywhere pleasant enough to pick up something soft and cuddly.”

Wrex thinks a minute, remembering a conversation he had with their illustrious commander. At the same time, in near perfect unison, Tali joins in. 

“Shotguns,” the two say at the same time.

Wrex chuckles softly to himself.

“Shepard loves big shotguns. The bigger the better. Get her something with some kick to it.”

“Shotguns? Really? You’d think something like that would topple her over. She’s barely above five foot! Well…if you say so. I’ll keep my eyes open. Thanks, the both of you.”

Tali looks over to the elevator and nods her head.

“We’re your friends, Garrus. Of course we’ll help you through things.”

“Yeah yeah whatever,” Wrex shoots back, “whatever quiets your bellyaching.”

The elevator ascends, a clear indicator that someone was planning on coming down to the cargo bay. Garrus stands up again, patting himself off, then turns to the Mako to begin maintenance. He had a lot to think about.

[reiline]

Standing like this😎

By the way, Shepard is 173 cm tall and Garrus is 208 cm. Among turians, he is considered stunted, but it's not that simple . .

The fact is that turians are not as diverse as humans. Therefore, the difference in their height is not too obvious for other races. For example, the highest recorded height of an adult turian reaches about 230 cm, and the lowest – about 200. Turian women vary in height from 185 to 216 cm. For comparison with humans, those may have height differences of up to 50+ cm between individuals

Also, in the future I will write in detail about turian subraces. There are only five of them in total, but each has its own features, including their height. In particular, the big difference is in their blood: the blood of one subrace may not be suitable for another. For turians, this is a significant problem, and they carefully ensure that all major and minor stations and planets have blood supplies for all subraces. There will be one rather sad plot point related to my OCs and blood transfusion. But that's another story ;) . .

Music theme: 🎶 Saint Asonia - Wolf

[shepcdr]

@spectrien // cont.

shepard has nothing in particular against aliens. he was far too young for the first contact war — his childhood memories are vague and few, but he thinks he remembers the anxiety that tensed his caretakers from head to toe until they were wound tight enough to snap, and until they did; perhaps some of that had been the war, and the burden of knowing that humanity was not alone in the far expanses of space, after all — and still too young for the grudges built after and upon it. though that hardly stopped many of his brothers in the reds from fostering hatreds of their own, there was little they could do about it... little time to think of worlds beyond when it was trouble enough to survive their own. and, now that shepard thinks about it, his contact with the galaxy at large has been somewhat limited considering the decade he's now spent with the alliance. ( in his defence, he had other concerns of his own to manage. )

his recruiters had pulled enough strings getting his AFQT scores waived once they had seen biotic potential and a willingness to do whatever it took so long as he could enlist and get off of earth. there was nothing that could've been done for him if the alliance had an intergalactic history class prerequisite; but, luckily for shepard, his interests didn't lie in turian-human relations. relations that, from the spectre's sudden ( unwanted. but it doesn't appear that what shepard wants matters very much ) interest, appear to be on the up-and-up.

still, shepard would have to be an idiot to not have questions.

his lack of knowledge on both turians and spectres aside, it doesn't take a studied mind to know that nihlus kryik doesn't exactly fall within the boundaries of one definition or the other. nihlus likely defies the former, from what shepard knows of turian society; and from what he has heard recently of what it means to be a spectre, he suspects that nihlus exceeds the latter.

" what's your stake in all this? " thinly-veiled distrust colours his curtly-spoken enquiry. no point in masking his wariness. nihlus is an unknown variable on the normandy, on anderson's ship. ( never mind that captain anderson himself authorised this. he had authorised shepard as his XO, too ... so it's shepard's prerogative to exercise however much caution he deems necessary, until he determines the spectre is neither a threat nor risk. )

so the alliance wants more say in council matters ... that makes enough sense. but one of the council's own — a species already nestled quite comfortably within the status quo — taking such an unlikely and proactive interest? he doesn't buy it. not unless nihlus has something to gain from this.

... the one thing that does give him pause is nihlus' declaration of respect. shepard doesn't know enough about turian behaviour to discern honesty from flattery from placation. without adequate data, his first instinct should be healthy scepticism. nihlus seems clever and well-spoken: a perfect combination for deception, and make it pretty and pleasant to the ears. ' capable of caring? ' and what did that have to do with anything? shepard might have laughed in his face if he wasn't certain that that would surely be crossing the line.

but, for whatever reason, nihlus' words — ‘ i respect you. ’ — ring true just enough to soften the coldness of shepard's stare. ( only slightly. but that alone is an impressive feat. )

[lilmissnatcat24]

Turn Left Synopsis

Hey there! Do you need a refresher of what happened in Turn Left before you read Electric Sheep? Do you not feel like reading a 250k word fanfic before starting the next one? Then look no further! Needless to say, I'm quite literally about to spoil the entirety of Turn Left, so if you don't want to get spoiled, please click away. Without further ado:

We start in an alleyway in Tayseri Ward, a dead salarian on the ground whose throat has been slashed. Delia Shepard, a Drugs and Trafficking Officer for C-Sec, is on the scene with her partner, Elyria. They suspect this guy is one of their moles and that Eclipse found him and offed him, but something doesn't seem quite right. Enter Garrus Vakarian, Homicide Detective, and his partner Chellick. Shepard knows both of them, and dislikes the two of them, although it's easier for her to poke fun at Garrus. She tells him that she doesn't think this was a gang-related death. Garrus agrees, but does so in the most condescending and insulting way possible (very on brand). They leave with a strong distaste for the other.

Meanwhile, after his shift Garrus goes to a sex club, Sailor's Delight. It's something he's never done before, but after feeling like he's stale and thoroughly lost, he decided to give it a chance. After meeting the insatiable and overly sexual elcor named Candy that works at the sex club, he gets the rundown. Anonymous sex only, fake names, balaclavas with distortion mods that hide your face, voice filters, smell inhibitors, the whole kit and kaboodle. He chooses the name Archangel for himself, and gets paired up with a human he only knows as Commander.

Back at C-Sec, Shepard is smelling the stench wafting from this case. She finds Garrus, concerned that some of the issues she's finding seem to be internal. She asks for his help, and together investigate the salarian's death, who they learn is named Faeranon. The first place to visit was the old human woman who witnessed the death. After thoroughly insulted Shepard's biotics and her record at Torfan, she said that he was killed with this weird sort of flash that slit his throat. They suspected that whoever killed him had to be someone with incredibly advanced tech. They run into a merc with a checkered criminal past by the name of Wrex. Garrus suspects something big is at play, if Wrex is involved, despite Wrex's insistence that he had done nothing illegal. Next, they went to visit a turian by the name of Solon, who was supposedly a friend and buyer off of the Faeranon Except when they go to his apartment, they find it empty and trashed. Oh, and Solon's head is in the fridge.

Deciding that they need outside help, Shepard and Garrus reach out to their resources. For Shepard, that's Captain Anderson. He looked out for her after her discharge and kept tabs on her since. Anderson can't offer Shepard too much information, but worries that she might be in over her head with the case. He knows she struggles with addiction and alcoholism, and just wants to help. He also knows that the entire time Shepard has worked for C-Sec, Udina has tried to steal her into his detail and use her for his dirty work. Shepard leaves the meeting in anger. Garrus decides to go to his Spectre resource, Nihlus. It had been his dream since he was a kid to be a Spectre, and Nihlus's connection only bolstered that desire. When he told Nihlus the facts of the case, especially that both Faeranon and Solon both worked for a fake corporation by the name of Marblehead, Nihlus (naturally) freaks the fuck out. He said that this is a cover known only to the Spectres, which meant that a Spectre was involved in the salarian's death. He swore Garrus's silence in this matter while he does some digging himself, even to Shepard. Reluctantly, Garrus agrees. At this point, Archangel and Commander have met together at Sailor's Delight and slept with each other three times.

Anderson comes back with the information of a warehouse on the Citadel that was within the location of Faeranon's murder. Shepard and Garrus decide to spend a week staking it out. At this point, the frostiness between the two of them has melted, and they see each other as partners. Shepard sees a flash of something unnatural in the window of the warehouse. Garrus, knowing that the Spectres are involved, wants to wait to storm the warehouse. Shepard goes in anyways, with Garrus at her side. Inside, they discover that it isn't a MECH, but a geth. They fight it, and when it implodes Garrus finds that he has been shot. In his altered state, he realizes that Shepard is really pretty, before nearly passing out. Before medievac can show up, Garrus tries to tell Shepard about the Spectre involvement, but his omnitool is flooded with the news that Eden Prime, a human colony, has fallen to a geth attack.

The next day, Shepard and a very drugged up Garrus meet with Pallin and Medina, Shepard's direct boss. They explain that it was a geth they fought, which neither Pallin nor Medina particularly believes. Before Shepard and Garrus can do anything, in walks Saren. He explains that this was now officially Spectre business and Shepard and Garrus's involvement is over. They both notice that he's acting strange, almost mechanical. After insulting Shepard multiple times for being a human, he tells Garrus that he needs to pick his allies better if he ever wants to be a Spectre. He leaves the meeting in a daze, and in that moment decides to choose the Spectres over Shepard, leaving her alone and furious.

Garrus tries to apologize to Shepard, but she won't have any of it. It's only when he gets an actual lead from Nihlus, that maybe Saren is involved in everything, does Garrus go to Shepard. Nihlus also tells him that there is a quarian on the Citadel named Tali'Zorah who has information about Eden Prime, and that she needs to be protected. Garrus goes to Shepard, and after much convincing he finally gets her to realize Saren's involvement (however, he still can't directly tell her, as per Nihlus's orders). Before they can formulate a plan, Garrus gets a call from Chellick, saying that there was a quarian corpse found next to a nightclub, and that it was Tali'Zorah.

Shepard and Garrus go to the scene, which was gory and brutal. Casing the crowd, Shepard notices Wrex. She corners him to try to get any sort of information, yet when Garrus sees him, he immediately thinks Wrex is in somehow guilty in Tali'Zorah's murder, so he arrests him. Strummed up on false charges of red sand possession and accessory to murder, Garrus and Shepard question him multiple times. Wrex is unwilling to give them any information, especially Garrus. However, it's clear that Wrex did have communications with Tali'Zorah before her death, and that she was in some way injured when he first found her. Using that information, they then decide to case the area for local doctors that may have helped her. At this point, Archangel and Commander have slept together five times. And at this point, it's becoming increasingly difficult for Garrus to separate Commander with Shepard, since he's starting to feel very strong feelings towards her.

On their way to Dr. Michel's office, they find blood on the outside of her door. Inside, she is tied up on the floor with two turians over her. They escape, and are left with Dr. Michel, who tells them that Tali'Zorah was in a lot of trouble. She tried going to C-Sec, which didn't believe her, and tried to connect with a Shadow Broker agent, except she wasn't allowed on the Presidium by herself. Instead, Wrex, who worked for the Shadow Broker, offered to connect her with Fist, who ran the night club right by the place she was murdered. Shepard, for some reason, believes that Garrus and Dr. Michel are an item, since everyone is always telling Garrus that they can smell a human on him (quite literally, everyone knows but them).

Before hitting Chora's Den, they decide to speak with a Shadow Broker agent by the name of Barla Von. He tells them he knows all about their work and Saren's involvement, and will tell them everything they need to know for a price. He wants them to kill Fist. They consider turning the offer down, since it's illegal and they're cops and all, but decided that the information was too important to pass up. On their way out, they run into Anderson, who confirms he was on Eden Prime, Saren is a prime suspect, and that out of his entire crew, the only one on the ground that survived was Kaidan Alenko.

Chora's Den is a bloodbath. Shepard and Garrus are forced to kill many of his men and mercs, just to find Fist with some turrets aimed at them. After dismantling the friend-or-foe and essentially turning Fist into mincemeat, they steal his OSD and comb through the information. They find out that Barla Von sold them out and warned Fist that they were coming. They also say a weirdly encrypted message, the last one Fist ever sent, putting a hit on someone in a prison. Realizing that the target was Wrex, and that all along he was trying to help Tali'Zorah, they hurry to the jail he's kept in.

The front desk woman, a salarian named Habal, let them inside, but not without being incredibly suspicious. They go through the prison nervously, carefully avoiding many of Fist's men. They find Wrex's cell, and guarding it was a human with weird, glowing eyes and cybernetics. After convincing Wrex that they're on his side and that they need to break him out of prison, Wrex incites a riot so that they can escape. They nearly do so, except Habal, who is clearly indoctrinated, stands in their way. Wrex kills her, but not before she armed the explosive failsafe in the door, injuring Shepard greatly. Garrus takes them to a safehouse, while realizing as Shepard almost died that he was completely in love with her.

The next month is slow. Wrex is the most wanted man on the Citadel, Shepard and Garrus fear every day that the repercussions of breaking Wrex out of prison will come back to bite them in the ass, and they don't know where to turn. After threatening Barla Von, he hands over his OSD with all of the infomation about Saren he had. The most logical next step was to look into Matriarch Benezia, Saren's key benefactor and present on some scandal on Noveria that killed an entire lab of workers. She had a tour planned on the Citadel for two weeks, and with her she was bringing her daughter, Liara. They decided that Liara was their best best, targeting her in their planning. For the last time, Archangel and Commander meet. He gives her a gift of menthols, as she said she missed them, and they didn't sell them anywhere on the Citadel.

The best place to corner Liara was at a C-Sec gala. Shepard tried to talk to her in the bathroom, which started off good and the two hit it off. But Liara bolted when she knew Shepard was only talking to her to get information on her mother. Before they could leave, Saren arrives, leading Shepard and Garrus into an empty room. He threatens them, tells them to call of their investigation, then oddly enough, tries to recruit them. After leaving, Shepard and Garrus then run into Anderson, who said that throughout all of this, the common link has been Prothean tech, and that tomorrow he would ship out with a now healed up Commander Alenko. Shepard and Garrus have a lil heart-to-heart, and when Shepard pulls out a pack of menthols, Garrus finally realizes that she was Commander all along. He, rightly so, absolutely freaks out for the next twenty-four hours.

Once his shock has subsided and his feelings for Shepard only intensified, they find Liara at a cafe right next to C-Sec HQ. Finding this odd, they decide to talk to her. She doesn't act quite right, sometimes she's too eager and sometimes she seems terrified. When she starts nearly sobbing, Shepard realizes that Liara is being tracked. It's too late to take her anywhere before commandos ambush them. Liara gives them the business, then joins Wrex in their safehouse.

She isn't upfront with any information. She is cagey and suspicious, but also says without a doubt that Saren is behind everything. She tasks Shepard, Garrus, and Wrex with killing her mother. They accept, but know fully well she's playing them. Shepard gets called back to C-Sec when Nihlus arrives at the safehouse, combining the two sides Garrus kept secret this whole time. Liara and Wrex found out about Nihlus's involvement, keeping Shepard in the dark.

They planned to hit a warehouse that Benezia stored an untitled manifest. Upon finding rachni, they fight their way out of the warehouse with barely their lives. Shepard finds out that the whole time, Garrus was keeping his Spectre contacts secret, and leaves with her old partner Elyria. Except by this point, Elyria has been indoctrinated (it's not her fault, she's a lovely lady in a tough situation), and while in Shepard's apartment she drugs her and sends husks on her body. Garrus barely arrives in time to save her. He cleans Shepard up, and she realizes that despite the fact she swore off friends and tried to keep Garrus at an arm's length away, she was hopelessly in love with him.

Shepard and Garrus, with Wrex, Liara and Nihlus, plan to storm a secret lab on the Citadel where they suspect Benezia is based out of. Before, Medina tells Shepard that he knows everything and can help her, but only if she doesn't storm the lab. Shepard does anyway, and having been drugged and therefore did not remember that Elyria drugged her, talks to her friend one last time before storming the lab. Inside, she finds husk versions of Faeranon, Solon, and Tali'Zorah, as well as the beacon. Elyria is there as well, and in the confusion of all the fighting, is killed. Benezia, inside and creepy as shit, tells them everything about the Reapers. They don't really believe her, and it gets revealed that Liara has been fighting indoctrination this whole time, and wanted them to kill her mother because she believed that severing that link would break the spell. In the following fight Liara kills her mother by pushing her into the beacon. In doing so, she also pushed in Shepard by accident, who then gets transferred the cipher.

While Shepard is unconscious, Anderson and Kaidan land on the Citadel, and the seven of them plan to go to the Council with their findings. Anderson and Kaidan went to Feros with the Thorian, and found the remnants of Virmire before Saren destroyed it himself. Liara also mind melded with Shepard, tranferring the vision to her and waking her up in time for the Council meeting. Before they could meet with the Council, Saren is in the tower first. He offers to work with Shepard and Garrus one last time, before shooting Nihlus in the head.

Saren, who was arrested by the Council, breaks out about a week later. Thy concoct a plan. They need to lift the hold on the Normandy, which the Council placed as evidence in their investigation on Saren, and they need to find the Mu Relay, which Liara is convinced she's able to do. The night before their plan, Shepard, Garrus, Wrex, Liara, and Kaidan have one last party, where they all realize that they should have been working as a team this whole time. Shepard and Garrus, also a little drunk and miserably pining for each other, make out on a couch before getting cockblocked by Wrex. Before they stole the Normandy the next day, though, they resolve those feelings. They admit that they like each other, and have a very steamy and rushed make out sesh.

After their first plan goes awry, Shepard concocts a plan where she'll break into Citadel Control, manually lift the lock, and have the rest of them meet her on the Normandy. It goes to shit, Shepard has to shoot a lot of people, before it really goes to shit and Saren kidnaps her. The rest of them make it onto the Normandy, not knowing that Shepard isn't there, and escape the Citadel. It's only when they receive an encrypted video of Shepard, tied up and bleeding out, do they realize that she's probably dead. Again, Garrus has a classic freak out. I love writing those.

Two very separate plot points happen at this point. One, Shepard being tied up and tortured by Saren. It's brutal, it lasts for days. She gets a lot of insight on the Reapers and Sovereign, and thinks that Saren is still inside of there somewhere. She tries to convince him that it's not too late to join them, and he refuses. Meanwhile, Garrus &Co. are on Ilos. They find the work that Saren did on Virmire before destroying the labs. He found a cure for the genophage, and held several dozen krogan females in tanks with the surviving babies, thousands of dead baby corpses on the ground around them. Wrex has a lil freakout (we don't blame him for this). They also find Vigil, who with Liara's cipher, tells them everything they need to know.

The geth attack the Citadel. Garrus, Wrex, Liara, Anderson, and Kaidan travel back through the Conduit, the OSD to block the Reaper signal in hand. They run into Medina, who offers to help find Shepard if they make it up to the towers. Medina saves Shepard, and after setting her on a course to meet up with Garrus, sacrifices himself so that he can escape. Garrus et al. make it to the Tower, where they have a great fight with Saren. Anderson is knocked out cold, Wrex gets severely injured and is regenning, and after a pretty impressive 1v1 fight with Liara, Saren forces a mindmeld with her, blinding her and getting all the information she has from Vigil and the beacon.

Saren is busy fighting Garrus and Kaidan when Shepard enters. The fight turns less fair for Saren, who can't handle the three of them, plus Wrex after his regen is complete, and Liara who can still land some accurate biotic punches on him despite being blind. Shepard gets the OSD in the console to block the signal, and has communications with Joker to save the Council. Saren corners her, and in a forcefield that no one else can penetrate, temporarily indoctrinates her. Shepard feels the power of the Reapers and almost succumbs, but then Sovereign explodes and crashes into the Tower. Saren is still alive, barely, as Shepard holds a gun to his head. She finds him sad, and in taking pity, allows him to live, despite his pleads to kill him.

Two months go by. Garrus gets inducted as a Spectre, but doesn't really care anymore. Wrex turns into a pro-krogan advocate and gets blueballed by the press. Kaidan continues in the Alliance, Liara is disgraced, despite being a hero. Shepard is in and out of rehab, and having been fired from C-Sec, fears that Udina will finally get her. She works on a plan with Anderson to reinstate her back into the Alliance for three years, but she won't be stationed on the Citadel. She worries about what to tell Garrus, who she has moved in with but have paused their relationship so both of them can heal first. She decides to tie up some loose ends. She agrees to go on a date with Garrus. She meets with Candy in Sailor's Delight, and steals the info to the member services (and she has not read this yet! That's important!)

The fic ends with Garrus on his way home from training, excited for his date with Shepard. He picks up flowers and wine, and enters his elevator up to his apartment when two humans join him. Unsuspecting, the woman attacks Garrus, slitting his throat. As he bleeds out, she tells him that The Illusive Man put the hit out on him, and that her name was Miranda Lawson, and the man's was Jacob Taylor. Garrus dies in the elevator, thinking about Shepard.

Holy shit that's it I think! There's a lot I had to remember lol. So please enjoy, and I hope everyone loves Electric Sheep!!!!!!!

xoxo,

nat:)

[ladyofsnark]

Garrus wasn’t jealous.

He liked Lex. He respected her–admired her, even.

And true, he also thought Lex was beautiful. He didn’t have a human fetish, but there was something about her that went so much deeper than appearances. The way she commanded attention. The way everyone turned to look at her. That kind of presence–that power–was intoxicating in its own way. He was cocky, but he knew what to be cocky about. He knew his strengths and played to them. Lex played to everything and anything with a devastating amount of self-assuredness. Or suicidality. It was hard to tell sometimes.

He glanced back out the windows that looked down into the shuttle bay. They’d created a makeshift firing range there to test their weapons and help the team blow off steam in between missions and long stints at the Citadel. It was Kelly's idea, since half of the ground team needed anger management lessons and this was as close as they would get.

There was no real danger to it. Nothing short of actual AA guns could pierce the Normandy's hull and they used soft-polymer rounds for safety in close quarters, so the most anyone was risking was a painful bruise. Of course, Lex loved it. She cared for her rifles like they were her children and she never wasted an opportunity to tinker with them.

But she was practicing with Thane.

Garrus sighed and pushed away from the window. It bothered him and it bothered him that it bothered him. Lex also practiced with him and with Grunt and Zaeed and she and Jack challenged each other to trick shots when they weren’t being supervised.

Hell, he liked the assassin. Respected him, even. It seemed like there was a sore lack of good people in the universe and few tried half as hard as Thane did to be one.

So why this? This irrational annoyance. This irritation. He couldn’t help but think back to Oraka in Chora’s Den moping over Sha’ira and it didn’t do great things for his ego.

Garrus was so distracted he didn’t even hear the elevator ping. 

“Hey, I was wondering where you’d gotten to,” Jon said as he stepped off. “I looked in the main battery and thought something must have gone horribly wrong to drag you away from your terminal. What’s up?”

Garrus straightened, looking away quickly from the shuttle bay. “Nothing,” he said. “I just came down here to talk to the engineers about the power draw from the new guns.”

Jon leaned against the opposite bulkhead and then glanced out the window, at his sister who was listening to Thane explain something to her with rapt attention. “Uh huh.”

It was more of a grunt than words, loaded with as much skepticism as the older of the Shepard twins could muster.

Before Garrus could make good his escape, Jon spoke again: “You two are a lot alike, you know.”

Garrus gave him a dubious look. “How?”

“Well for one, you’re both dumbasses,” Jon said, surprising a laugh out of the turian, who then reached up to rub the sore side of his face. The man smiled, only half apologetic. “My sister tells me everything and I can count on one hand how many times she’s said she loves me. So, if you’re waiting for her to make the first move, you’ll be waiting for a while.”

Spirits, they were so unmistakably related. Jon might have been the diplomat of the pair but that was only by default, because Lex’s idea of diplomacy involved a dictionary of curse words and probably at least one explosion.

Garrus glanced back down at the shuttle bay, at Lex. “I’m sure she wants something closer to home…”

“And closer to home is someone else with scales? And hallucinogenic saliva?” Jon snorted. “Garrus. Think of it like this. You’re up here pining for a woman who would have thrown her whole life–her whole career–away to go with you to Omega. I can tell you right now, Lex wouldn’t do that for anyone else. Maybe not even me. So the only thing in your way is you.”

He had a point. He usually did, but this was a particularly annoying example.

"You're her brother, aren't you supposed to be threatening me? Not trying to set us up?" Garrus asked, with humor.

Jon laughed. "When we were sixteen one of the Reds decided to cop a feel and Lex almost beat him to death with a datapad. I don't need to come to her rescue. Yours, maybe. But not hers."

[sol-consort]

Specialist Traynor: I have to ask do all war reporters look so, um, feminine? I mean, you're made up so well.

Diana Allers: We actually have a research department for that. They focus-test looks, voice, manner.

Diana Allers: Apparently, girly is good. Asari pay more attention. Salarians relate to high-pitched voices.

Specialist Traynor: And turians?

Diana Allers: Turians are nuts. A civilization of war nerds. Loyal viewers, but they write the creepiest fan mail.

-

Human fan mail: "heyyy omfg I love you <3"

Asari fan mail: "You're kinda cute, may the goddess watch over you."

Salarian fan mail: "I really enjoy watching your segments, They're very informative and pleasing to the ear"

Turian fan mail: "Hey, I saw you on TV, and I just thought you looked very beautiful–your waist is especially eye-catching. I had to tell you that. It's really rare to see humans with an interest in military operations, haha. I don't know why. It's very attractive and refreshing to see you, lol. So, like which gun is your favourite? I prefer a good, sleek sniper. Have you ever shot one before? I could teach you, it's easier than most people think and your ears get used to the piercing sound after like the twentieth time around. Or would you prefer a shotgun? I bet you would ;) I wish you were here on the battlefield with the rest of us, it is such a blast (literally!) But I understand that humans are too squishy and weak to hold their own, don't worry, I'll protect you. Did I mention that I'm your biggest fan? I never ever watch any other news segment besides your own, in fact not even turian ones! I would be immensely devastated if you ever end your show, I can't imagine starting my day without seeing your face of hearing your voice...even if it's just from a screen, I even replay your past segments while working out. It helps me imagine that I'm training while you're in the room. I never cared for human much before this but you've changed my entire world view, I would move to earth permanently if it meant I get the chance to meet you, let alone breathe the same air as you. What kind of detergent do you use for your clothes? You should tell your viewers in your next episode so that anyone who wants can pick up a bottle from the store, then I'll be able wash my sheets with it and imagine how your scent must be like."

[clericofshadows]

cleric's oc factsheet

thought I would compile a quick list of my Mass Effect OCs, including my Shepards, with some basic facts/features about them. I'll be updating this randomly as I sculpt more characters, add more to my canon, and so on :) this is also in my pinned post!

Within Regis's and Nyx's canon, they do exist in each other's universes. However:

In Regis's canon, Nyx stayed a civilian engineer. He and Hackett reconciled before the events of ME2 and restarted their relationship. He's an Alliance contact for tech-related needs and is a strong war-asset for the construction of the Crucible.

In Nyx's canon, Regis never went to BAaT, learned biotics with Vikram, and still did his cybernetics education, which led him to also going to Omega with Vik. He meets Zaeed and enters a relationship with him, and he ends up meeting Kaidan on Omega three years before the events of ME1. He's an Alliance contact for terminus on-goings and also works as a merc with Zaeed if needed.

REGIS LUCIAN SHEPARD

Gender: Male (He/him)

Age: 32 (in ME1)

Birthday: February 9, 2151

Classification: N7 Sentinel

Rank: Commander (ME1); Admiral (Post-ME3)

Sexuality: Gay

Relationship: In a polyamorous relationship with Kaidan Alenko and Zaeed Massani

Quick Facts: Was at BAaT with Kaidan Alenko and has L2 implants. Been in a relationship with Kaidan since a couple of years after BAaT, and they met Zaeed on Omega three years before the events of ME1. Regis has an education background in cybernetics and implants and codes his own omnitool programs.

Notoriety: Butcher of Torfan

Morality: Mostly Renegade

Notable Events: Ashley and Kaidan both survive Virmire; Garrus, Grunt, and Legion perish on the suicide mission. Regis doesn't recruit Garrus in ME1 and recruits Liara last. Liara is not the Shadow Broker, but Regis's friend Wren is instead. Kaidan and Ashley start N7 training after Regis's death. They both obtain Spectre status before ME3.

NYX "PHOENIX" SHEPARD

Gender: Male (He/Him)

Age: 59 (in ME1)

Birthday: May 1, 2124

Classification: N7 Engineer, past Infiltrator

Rank: Commander (ME1); Captain (Post-ME1)

Sexuality: Gay

Relationship: In a polyamorous relationship with Kaidan Alenko and Steven Hackett

Quick Facts: First Contact War Veteran, obtained eezo exposure at an older age and subsequently developed biotics due to a genetic anomaly gained from Prothean experimentation on ancient humans. Nickname came from his ability to revive any old tech and equipment, and his penchant to get back up when all seems lost. Infiltrator during the FCW that targeted and assassinated key turian targets and stole information.

Alternate Universe: No Reapers AU/Protheans nearly won but wiped themselves out in the process and leaving a few straggler Reapers alive.

Notoriety: Butcher of Torfan

Morality: Mostly Paragon

Notable Events: Does not recruit Garrus in ME1, saves both Ashley and Kaidan on Virmire. Kaidan becomes a Spectre after ME1 and Ashley is sent for N7 training.

WREN CLARKSON

Gender: Female (She/Her)

Age: 30 (in ME1)

Birthday: August 8, 2153

Classification: N7 Fury

Rank: Commander (ME1), Major (ME2)

Sexuality: Lesbian

Relationship: After a long time of pining, ends up with EDI

Quick Facts: Becomes the Shadow Broker under Regis's orders, effectively turning the Broker's resources into the Alliance's, making them a more fearsome power during ME3.

Notoriety: Hero of Elysium

Morality: Mostly Renegade

SETH NOMAD

Gender: Male (He/They)

Age: 35 (in ME1)

Birthday: December 27, 2148

Classification: N7 Paladin

Rank: Commander (ME1), Captain (ME3)

Sexuality: Asexual

Relationship: Doesn't have one currently

Quick Facts: Secondary Shadow Broker to Wren, works closely with Hackett to coordinate Alliance efforts within the network's capacity. Not a biotic but enjoys the Paladin classification due to their drone work.

Notoriety: Akuze Sole Survivor

Morality: Neutral-Paragon

ADRIAN SHEPARD

Gender: Male (He/Him)

Age: 58 (in ME1)

Birthday: April 21, 2125

Occupation: Pilot, Smuggler

Sexuality: Pansexual

Relationship: Bonding with Vikram T'Lara

Quick Facts: Twin brother to Atlas Shepard, Regis's father. Very laid back, casual, and cares little for formality. Met Vikram on an Omega run and after he ran into some trouble. Very good with hand-to-hand combat. Main residence is Earth. Tolerates Hannah Shepard and disliked her parenting towards Regis.

Morality: Neutral-Paragon

VIKRAM T'LARA

Gender: Non-binary (They/them)

Age: 841 (in ME1)

Birthday: June 1, 1342

Occupation: Former Asari Commando, Former Asari Cybernetic Engineer and Technician, current physician on Omega. Later joins the Alliance as a doctor after 2185.

Sexuality: Pansexual

Relationship: Bonding with Adrian Shepard

Quick Facts: Would have been the one to train Regis if it weren't for politics surrounding BAaT. Extremely powerful with biotics and is always willing to share their knowledge. Hates the current asari status-quo and finds their leadership and race to be stagnant.

Morality: Neutral-Renegade

[rothmire]

Football and its effect on Human-Krogan relations

I don't know how tumblr works, but I'm posting a comic idea I want to see and you can't stop me. This would follow Wrex wordlessly through a day in his life during the reaper war. It starts Scene to Scene with him glad handing a few Turian diplomats in the presidium. Him worrying over a holo of a battlefield map on some far flung world while Asari Attaches look on in trained impassivity as his soldiers die. Him having a heated "Discussion" with a Salarian "agent in a back alley. Him going before the Council and not bringing it up  because he needs Salarian support. It then switches action to action, he bows to the council and struts out. (He maintains a great stoicism, as the future of his people depend on working well with these people.). Each step has purpose. 

Hard cut from side point of view to behind and above his right shoulder showing a hallway just full of microaggressions. I'm talking, a Volus tapping his friend and pointing, an Asari couple holding each other closer and clutching alien handbags, a Salarian giving him the evil eye. The next panel switches back to a side view of Wrex exiting the hallway while two batarians shoulder shove him. Which he allows to avoid an incident. 

But the next page is just 9 moment to moment head shots of him 1. stopping wide eyed looking up facing forward, 2.  looking down and cussing "Fuck This" under his breath, 3. turning around raising his fist, 4. abject fury, 5. abating abject fury, 6. Self loathing at breaking his cool, 7 turning back around in disgust, 8. Closing his eyes and gaining his composure, 9. eyes focused and resolute as he carries on his way. 

We continue with a couple scene to scene of him walking around the presidium. But then he opens up another door and it's a full page panel, this time over his left shoulder, showing a relaxing Fem Shep on a couch watching a football game on a large holo screen in a warmly lit presidium lounge room. 

Moment to moment from the perspective of the tv watching Shep and Wrex. Wrex walks into the room, placing his hands on the couch on the back of the seat next to Shepard. He asks "What is this?". 

Shep looks back and says "Oh hey Wrex, Its football highlights." ( She is bruised up and sporting a sling on her right harm. She is recovering from a rough mission before heading to Tochanka) She looks up at him waiting for more questions. Wrex has none for two panels so she looks back at the tv. A panel of watching placidly, then one where Shep flinches and grimaces with a smile as if she just saw someone get lit up, and Wrex's eyes widen.

The next half page is two rows of 3 panels. 1. Shep relaxes and says without looking back "That's called The Hit!. Wrex moves to walk out of the left side of the panel. 2. Shep "Those guys were not ok after that." still watching the holo. Wrex is halfway out of the panel. 3. Shep is silent and doesn't look back. A wry smile on her face as she remembers those days when she hit people like that. Wrex is gone. Second row. 4. Shep is quiet, Wrex is halfway back into the panel, this time in front of the couch. 5. Shep now sees Wrex coming, looks at him questioningly and says "Wrex?". Wrex is now fully in the panel and almost to Shepard. 6. Wrex is hugging Shepard with his back turned to us and Shepard's head is just visible over his left shoulder. She shouts "WREX! You good?".  The next page is two panels split diagonally top and bottom. The first is a panned out view of the holo with Wrex lifting Shepard off the ground in a bear hug in front of it, while Ray Lewis is absolutely lighting someone up behind him. Wrex says "yes" . And then a tight in view of a highly stylized face of a silently weeping Wrex holding on to Shepard like she's a piece of driftwood and he's drowning at sea. Tears in his eyes, he says " The Krogan are not alone."