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just-trying-my-best-everyday · 23 days ago

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My Timebomb fanfic from two years ago suddenly started getting a ton of traction on AO3 (hilarious, if you ask me), so I went looking through my drafts for another fanfic I remember writing at the time. It's not finished, it's not good enough for AO3 but I still want the Tumblr Whores to have it, so here:

Life is funny.

That was Ekko's last thought before he jumped off the roof and landed heavily on his hoverboard, making it heel over and skim the surface of the river below. It splashed his boots, the water seeping through the leather and reaching his socks. He stabilized himself and shot up. Time was a precious commodity he couldn't afford to waste.

A bullet barely missed the top of his head when he abandoned the cover of the wall. He spun above the building, keeping his eyes firmly locked on her.

Ah, Jinx. Destructive, dangerous, bad news in one of the most beautiful disguises nature could offer. The Firelights' worst concern. Little Man's biggest regret. She made him feel like she was the only one who could pump air in his lungs, his hands itched to strangle the wind out of hers. His first love, his most ardent hatred. He would gladly mourn her at her feet one second if he could drive a knife through her heart the next. Her features were familiar, she'd gotten rid of several faces he forced himself to add to the mural, right next to hers.

He would kill her today.

Would he hesitate?

Frustrated, he stomped the front of his board. It tilted forwards and he dove down, club in hand, ready to strike. Jinx saw him out of the corner of her eye and shot indiscriminately. As he dodged the first round, he suddenly thanked his gut for recommending he handled this particular mission alone. Her machine gun was effective to a fault with big groups, but much less so individually. It was heavy and even though she was definitely strong enough for it, it slowed her down and made her deadly aim slightly more manageable. All he needed was to eliminate some distance and he'd have her.

He swung when he got close. She ducked. Of course she ducked. Then it was just a game of speed: would he turn his hoverboard around the fastest, or would he get a bullet in the neck?

She won, she was always faster and faster. With the years, he'd learned he couldn't keep up. All he could do was face her for just the right amount of time for her shot to hit the board instead of him and send him tumbling to the ground.

Static noise fizzled in his ears on first impact. His mask cracked and fell apart a moment afterwards. He shook his head and the white dots on his field of vision disappeared. The club was still on his hand, Jinx had yet to open fire on him. That was all he needed to know before lunging forward, screaming.

She laughed. She always laughed, even as he knocked her beloved weapon out of her hands and forced her to back away to avoid his hits.

"Ah, Boy Savior," she proclaimed as if he were the guest she'd been expecting. "Long time no see. Came to check up on little old me? I'm touched."

He charged forward again. Yes, he had. He always did. Always on her heels to find out where she'd been, who she'd crossed, how she came out of those encounters she didn't try to avoid. "Studying the enemy", that was what he called it, what his Firelights thought it was. But some knew. Eve added tidbits about her in her reports, Scar dissuaded others from joining in missions just like this one when intel indicated she'd be around with a stern glance. They never brought it up, never shamed him for it, but they knew Ekko still saw a sliver of Powder in Jinx, even if he was pretty damn good at ignoring it.

She holstered herself up on a nearby pipe like a feline and his club met only metal. "Feeling very chatty today, aren't we?"

"Get down from there." He wiped the sweat off his upper lip.

"Nope."

"We're fighting."

"You're fighting, I wanna chat about our days and have a nice cup of tea together."

"Unless you wanna talk about Shimmer, I'm not interested."

"But that's so boring." She rested her chin on her fist and propped her elbow up on her knee. "And I have nothing to tell you that you don't already know, do I? I'm not in charge of that stuff. You should ask Sevika. I get it, she's not as pretty as me—"

"Enough chit chat," he cut her off and slammed his club into the pipe.

Smoke sizzled out of the dent he left in the metal. She bellowed when it clouded her, so she stood up, holding her gun with murderous intent. Her hand didn't tremble as she pointed down and slowly scanned her surroundings in search of a target. He crouched deeper into the makeshift fog. She was right above him. If he jumped—

"There you are."

A shot rang in his ear, missing his arm by an inch. The bullet ricocheted against the ground and clanked to a stop near his feet. He looked up and saw her sardonic smile, the ever present tinge of craze cranked to a hundred. The trajectory of the shot had cleared a straight path through the smoke.

One.

She fired again. He dodged and ran towards the areas where the smoke was denser. It did him no good; she just blew it off again. Two.

He dropped to the ground when a third bullet whistled by his ear. A fourth one lodged firmly into another pipe behind him, making it puke a dark goo all over his shoes. The one that flew off the roof was five and the one he managed to deflect with a bunt of his club was six.

No one was too much of a threat with an empty cartridge.

He kicked the parapet and propelled himself into the air. Jinx had a thumb on the cylinder, ready to push it open and reload, but she didn't get a chance. Her eyes flashed wide in surprise, and next thing she knew, he had hammered his weapon into her ribs and thrown her off the pipe.

They tumbled down together after he lost his momentum. He heard her gasp when she collided against something. His joints cried at the repeated abuse he put them through by falling from different heights, but he regained his footing immediately and attacked again. Even though she was still on the ground, she slithered away from the swing of his club. So he tried again and again. He hit the ground again. Curse her, she could never stop being faster than him, nimbler, more agile.

It had always been like this, hadn't it? She used to fit in every vent and alley like she fit in the cracks of his heart and he used to win wrestling matches with as much ease as he tore holes in the concrete roof.

Finally, she reached the edge. She tried rolling to the side, but he discarded the club and snagged her up by the shoulders. His fingers dug into what little flesh she had. She was all bone and skin that quickly turned purple in his grip. She growled and twisted, her nails pulling at his coat in a vain attempt to break free. But he rammed her body against the parapet and ignored her manic, wordless objections as he tried to bring himself to tighten his hands around her throat.

She spat on his face. "Violent behavior for a savior."

He clenched his fingers, adding just the tiniest bit of pressure. "Shut up."

"Come on!" She wheezed. "Do it, Boy Savior! Go all in before it's too late!"

"Shut up."

"Don't tell me you're scared!" Even choking, she laughed. "After all this time, you get scared now?"

"Shut up, shut up," he hissed, "shut up."

"You can shut me up," she suggested innocently. "Forever. But hurry up, I'm getting impatient here."

He was trying. He wanted to press down and get it over with. But Powder… No. Powder was dead. He was just getting rid of the corpse.

"Okay, yeah, you're taking too long." He felt cold steel against his side, right above his left hip. "My turn."

Of course, he thought. Of course she had modified her cartridge to hold seven bullets instead of six. Of course he'd failed to take that into account. Of course she'd wait until he had her to pull her final, most cruel prank.

Through the splotches of white in his vision, he saw Powder's muscles tense to push him off herself and dump him over the parapet. He saw her face, framed by choppy bangs, curiously peek over the side of the building as he fell. Her hand caressed her neck and the pain that blazed in his abdomen mixed with guilt. I'm sorry I hurt you. He tried to reach out to her, because goddamn, he missed her. I just wanted to save you.

But she was too far away and his body crashed into the warm water below. As he sank, he found out he couldn't swim. His mouth filled with water and blood as he tried to scream her name.

Everything went dark.

- - -

Jinx had already mentally prepared her thank-you speech for when Silco congratulated her for finishing off the leader of those pesky Firelights when she realized Ekko was going to drown.

Ekko.

Drown.

Die.

"Way to go, Jinx," Mylo leaned over the parapet to watch. "You killed the last one of us. Guess you can cross that off your list."

"I don't want to hear it," she growled, but she remained frozen in her spot, watching Ekko sink lower and lower.

Ekko.

Sink.

Drown.

Die.

"You're really going to let him die?" Claggor had always been kinder and more soft spoken. It was usually a welcome change from Mylo's harsh truths, but right now, it felt like a spear through the ribs. "Like this."

"Yes. No. I have to."

Claggor sighed, disappointed.

Ekko.

Die.

The water was polluted. If he magically didn't drown, the garbage would infect his wound and kill him painfully.

Had they hurt when they died?

"You know, it was unavoidable," Mylo continued. "One by one, we would all fall before the Jinx."

She barely registered his words through her throbbing pulse in her temples.

Ekko

Die.

Forever.

Gone.

Silco wouldn't be happy. Sevika would want her head. She didn't care what Sevika thought. Silco wouldn't congratulate her on this.

"Dive in first," Claggor encouraged her. "Think it through later."

Ekko.

He couldn't die.

Not like this, not yet.

Not by her hand.

"Give it up, Claggor, she can't save anyone." Mylo. Always so mean. "All she can do is break."

Ekko.

"—curse—"

He wouldn't die.

"—and jinx everything."

The rest of Mylo's insults were lost in the whooshing of the wind as she jumped.

- - -

Ekko stumbled in and out of consciousness. He saw his feet, half staggering, half dragging through mud. He heard cursing in a familiar voice. He felt something dense and warm trickling down his leg. Every cell on his body was on fire, but he was shaking.

It was so cold.

After half an hour of drowsy pain, a faint smell of trees brought him back. Green spots. Moonlight. Life. With extreme effort, he forced himself awake. The first thing he noticed was the bony arm holding him up, covered in swirls of blue.

"Welcome back, Boy Savior."

Powder?

Jinx.

He struggled weakly. If there was grass, there was only one place they could be. The Firelight Hideout. Jinx was in the Hideout. She had him, probably as a hostage. Scar wouldn't fight for him, neither would Eve or the others. He knew they'd surrender for him. It couldn't end like this. Powder had been the end of him, but Jinx wouldn't be the end of them.

"Woah, relax, silly." She tilted his weight onto herself. "You're hurt. Don't wanna bleed more than necessary, do we?"

His mind finally began to clear and he realized they were already in front of his cabin. She kicked the door open and walked him through. Helped? Impossible. It had to be a trick. He shoved her away and his side flared up in pain of a thousand colors as soon as he set his left foot down. His knees buckled underneath him and his back hit the desk.

"Would you stop that?" She yanked him up and threw his arm over her shoulder to support him. "Someone's going to hear us."

"If they do, all the better." He didn't try to break away again. She was the only thing keeping him standing and he didn't like the plan of falling and bleeding all over everything again. Because yes, he was bleeding, as far as he could tell by the wet stain on his pants and the puddle on the floor. "I'll scream. They'll get you."

"Please." She helped him lay down on the bed and turned around to lock the door. It worried him even more when she propped up a chair against it. "You know damn well your goons wouldn't last a minute against me."

They would. She was unarmed, possibly battered up from their fight, and completely surrounded. Then again, he wouldn't put it above her to blow everything up with one match and a bottle of soda.

So he opted to slowly settle down on the bed, moving as little as humanly possible. "They're not my goons."

"Don't go all semantics-crazy on me. Where do you keep the first aid kit?"

He pointed towards the closet. Soon enough, her weight dipped down the mattress by his side, and he didn't have the strength to kick her out.

"Okay, Boy Savior," she pulled out gauze and a latex glove and set them on the nightstand. "I'm taking the bullet out. It'll suck. Hold on to something."

"Are you insane?" He blocked her hand before she could get close to his wound. "Leave it there. Do you want me to bleed out?"

She looked him dead in the eye. "Do you know all the shit I put in my bullets? It's been an hour already. It's a marvel you're not dead. So stop moving if you don't want to die."

"I'll get a doctor instead."

"You don't need a doctor with me here."

"You are the reason I need a doctor at all."

"Oh shush." She set his hand down on the mattress by his side. "Hold your breath."

He closed his eyes and heard the latex snap against her skin. This was an awful idea. Life endangering even. And he let her? He really just allowed her to reach inside his wounds to pull out a bullet she put in? What in the world—

His entire body contorted when something that was once hard and cold came out warm and covered in things he needed to live. It was like opening a tap. Blood spilled like water out of a fountain and wet his clothes and his bed. He held back a scream. A hand clutched his own and he squeezed.

It wasn't like he hadn't lived through worse, but knowing it was Jinx patching him up hurt a hundred times more.

He slowly opened his eyes. She had pulled up his shirt up to his stomach and was wrapping clean cloth around his waist. He squinted at the way she swiftly worked with only one hand. She hadn't let go yet, so he did first and gripped the covers instead. He was still shaking.

Red seeped through the bandages, but she kept adding more until it was kept under control. The pressure on his hip felt relieving. Not good, not any less painful, but at least he wasn't dying.

He didn't thank her. He would never.

"There we go," she patted his side. "Good boy. Good Boy Savior."

"Do you ever shut up?"

"Nuh-uh," she wiggled a finger in the air. "No complaints are accepted if you throw away your shot at shutting me up."

His eyes landed on the dark marks in her neck. They were even, almost like they'd been painted with thin brush strokes instead of murderous intent. Powder wouldn't have forgiven him, he thought. But it didn't matter, because Powder was dead and he had no interest in asking for Jinx's forgiveness.

"You need to leave." He pushed himself up on one arm. To his surprise, she didn't try to keep him down, but rather wordlessly helped him to sit up. "Now."

"No."

Realization hit the bottom of his stomach like a punch to the gut. "How do you even know where this place is?"

She scoffed. "Are you kidding? I followed you a thousand times. Duh."

They knew. They had found them. A long time ago. If they hadn't attacked yet, that could only mean they had a terrifying fate ready for them. But they couldn't leave. They'd work too hard for their taste of paradise to give it up without a fight.

"What's Silco planning?" He seized her by the shoulders. "You have to tell me. What's he gonna do to us?"

"Silco doesn't know where you guys are."

His hands dropped. "What?"

"Only I know," she winked. "It's my secret."

"Why? Why didn't you tell him, if you knew?"

She shrugged. "He never asked."

He didn't find the words to answer that. So he didn't. He just stared at her unkempt braids and her bangs that stuck to her face. He belatedly realized he was drenched as well. That was why he felt so heavy. His coat had soaked up water like a sponge and his scarf had drawn so tightly around his neck he was almost choking. The covers around him were damp already.

Her eyes followed his and dropped on his clothes. "Come on, Boy Savior, let's get you out of those wet clothes."

She tugged at the lapels of his coat, but he snatched her wrist before she could pull it off him. "You need to leave."

"No." She closed her fist around the fabric, even as he held her hand as far away from him as his strength allowed him. "You're gonna go cold. Too early for that. You need to die first."

"I'll handle myself."

"You can barely move."

"And whose fault is that?"

"Just let me—"

"Let you what?"

Her silence sizzled in the air between them for all of the fourteen seconds she held his gaze (he counted). They'd gone darker, her eyes. Beyond all the the light in your eyes is gone bullshit, they seemed several shades deeper now. Maybe it was the poor lighting in his room. Maybe it was a natural effect of aging. How come it was such a surprise for him? He should have been with her for so much time he couldn't tell the differences between one day and the other until they found old photos and laughed at how much they'd changed since then. But no. He was there, in the moment, finding new things he had no way of knowing were there.

She had freckles on her nose now, and maybe they were why he loosened his grip on her when she said, "let me help. For once, let me do something right. Just one thing, one time. Let me help."

He gave up and rested his head back against the wall. She started with the coat, slowly sliding it off his shoulders. It was a weight off his back, almost immediate. She undid his utility belt and laid it on the desk, careful not to break anything. He didn't do anything to stop her from unwrapping his scarf, but made no move to help either. After all, she wanted to help, right? So let her help, let her manage.

Before she continued with the last layer of clothing, she got up to get new clothes to replace the wet ones with. Ekko closed his eyes. There was nothing in his closet he wanted to keep from her, or at the very least, nothing he could keep from her. Fabric rustled as she rummaged through the drawer. She was humming about bombs and bullets and tricks. Weird song. What was the original like? Powder— Jinx didn't have the best sense of rhythm and melody. For all he knew, she was singing gibberish to a made-up tune.

He jerked up when she tugged at his shirt. She immediately raised her hands in surrender. "Pinky promise I'm not making a weird move on you."

#UNFINISHED #i wanna make that clear #don't get attached #did i format this on the Tumblr app? yes #does it suck for formatting? yes #anyways #I'm not too happy with this and it's a bit cringe but who cares this is the cringe website #timebomb #arcane #arcane season 2 #jinx arcane #ekko arcane

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sweaty-toothedpoet · 14 days ago

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your eyes

dark apple seeds cradled in the groove below your brow,

hair sweetly mussed from the touch of my palms

grin curved scythe-like,

and i fall,

trembling fawn soft,

the spillage of my flesh as wine

into your arms

for if i am to be taken by any grim reaper,

there would be none

as loved as you

#ooc why does the tumblr app suck ass #it always does random shit to my formatting in post #idk if i like this but it was Fun #toddblogs #roleplay #roleplay blog #todd anderson #dps #dead poets society #poetry

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thealphabard · 3 months ago

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Akos' bio!! Kinda. Aka:

Local ADHD man throws this shit together and hopes for the best. I apologize in advanced.

Species

Koi fish

Personality traits

Stoic, with a rather short fuse to go with. Doesn't really mess around, aside from with Mipha or Sidon. Very foul mouthed, lands him in trouble quite often. (Any time I swore during our sessions you'd hear from izuna's player "laaaanguaaaage" in the nasely voice he uses for him lol) can be pretty cocky about his strength (always landed in low rolls)

Height

7"1 (I think...)

Occupation|class

Ex-soldier. Moved on to become a Dragon Scion (will go into depth below)

Residence

Zora's Domain

Relationships

♡Mipha (same age, best friends that grew up together)

♡Sidon (often a care taker, plays with him quite often when spending time with mipha)

♡Loru (mother)(deceased from the calamity)

♡Noti (father)(deceased from the calamity)

Party: the main part of this campaign, who he traveled with :)

Nithril

Izuna

And Mabo (not my art, and I'm not sure if she has social media. one day. I swear lol)

Birthday

May 3rd

Sexuality

(He's never given it thought...)

Weapons

Dual Scimitars, Whisper and Mist (their item description below the image):

During the first great war with the Hylians after their arrival from the deep ocean, a Zoran champion was outfitted with two weapons. These twin scimitars were forged from the teeth of an ancient water serpent, found only in the depths where light never reached. With these weapons, the Zoran champion was smoke on the water, defending their newfound home and leaving the fallen soldiers to drift downstream back to their king. As the war waged on, rumors spread among the Hylians, and although few ever saw the Zoran who wielded these weapons, one thing was clear - when the fog swept up from the waters, retreat was the only option. After peace was finally reached between the Zora and the Hylians, these two weapons, Mist and Whisper, were laid to rest at the bottom of the Zoran shrine, lying in wait for their next champion.

Each blade is an exquisitely crafted +1 magic weapon but, when a wielder attunes to the swords over a long rest, the swords bind to the soul of the person. This binding of both weapons unlocks their true potential, allowing the wielder to attune to them both as a single item. If they are used separately, their effects will not appear.

With the weapons in question, Mipha was the one who helped him in acquiring them from the shrine. He saw it as a great honor.

In depth look on dragon scion (from the site):

Commonly called a dragon knight or dragon warrior, a scion of this subclass draws its power from a draconic origin. This is usually consequence of absorbing the power of a slain dragon, or ritual worship of a draconic benefactor, but there are many other possibilities. In any case, a dragon scion embodies the ferocity and vitality of the beast it embodies. This is most apparent in a dragon scion's capability to temporarily transform parts of its body into those of a dragon, such as growing claws or functional wings. Much as a dragon breathes fire or spits beams of force, so too do a dragon scion's spells embody such visceral destruction. Dragon scions are infamous for their tenacity, as it seems their magical and physical prowess can tear through entire legions of lesser foes with little rest.

Akos, in particular, in his journey to attune with the weapons graciously given to him within the shrine, attacked dinraal like the very smart (he had 10 intelligence...) goldfish he is. Instead of the dragon laying waste to him, saw potential in him and blessed him with the ability to use (primarily) fire magic. The scion class allowed him to have a base resistance to an element permanently (fire in this case) and later in leveling gets dragon resilience. It more or less allows him to resist another element upon changing his form (I went with scale properties any time it was used) or he could be fully immune to fire. When immune to fire, what would be damage taken by the fire instead heals that amount (ie, if the attack roll did 15 fire damage, I would heal 15 hp. Lol)

To go with Akos' short fuse, dragon scions gain access to a dragon rage that more or less works like a barbarian rage.

And the last very important part of dragon scion, is with the ability to use magic in such a Proficient manner, he could use that magic to create functional wings and fly. (There were restrictions technically, but it was mostly the further I flew the more of my MP it took. But I hoarded green potions so it didn't matter)

Now, for the actual story part of this campaign:

The biggest thing to note is I joined this campaign while the rest of the group had already been isekai'd to Termina, on their 2nd or 3rd time reset (yes my dm was cruel enough to keep it). But the setting was originally in hyrule during links slumber. Its around 95 years before the events of BotW. From what I understand Nithril, made a very big fucky wucky, and that's where they ended up. Akos joins them when Aryll hauls ass into the domain, talking about a mysterious portal that showed up nearby. Like the determined little zora he is, investigates it, and ends up in clock town where he meets Nithril Izuna and Mabo. The whole story isn't really that important, we for the most part follow how the game is, going to the 4 regions to wake up the giants and stop the falling moon. Just with some cursed shit in between. My DM was really good at making our skin crawl. We eventually learn that because none of us actually had the ocarina of time, each time reset was more fucked up than the last. Some residents would remember the moon falling, some events would end in very weird ways, and some events would just crack reality. One of the big moments of "shit ain't right" was when we went to see the Zora's. We ended up there during a kind of "battle of the bands" situation, and while Mikau, lulu, ect, get on stage this is what our dm plays for us :) (it's a YT link. I plan to make a full comic out of this scenario, I swear. Our reactions were really fun lol)

Anyway, the other main point of giving us emotional damage was after waking all the giants, we are getting ready to face majora and are more or less sent to like. A zen garden? With a machine dude just called the stranger. He tasked us with burying ancient pieces, that eventually rose as "sentient" beings. we were then, told to keep peace between the civilizations. we failed, really hard. Akos tried to show peace between his and izunas creatures, while mabos and nithrils waged war on each other. It ended with the stranger crushing all of our creatures violently and asking us philosophical questions that none of us could really answer properly about whether or not we should even be saving Termina. It's where this cute little sketch came from though :p

We fight majora, and win (barely. Akos got stomped on, literally.) And are met with goddess hylia who, as a reward, are given the option to go to wherever and whenever we want. Mabo goes on a new adventure, nithril goes back in time to undo the bullshit of the twilight realm, and izuna goes home, just 5 years before the events they are now facing. Akos returns home to the domain (izuna flies over the domain for 5 years. I failed my wisdom saving throws so akos got a headache lmfao) and that's how the campaign ended. We all cried LOL

#jace noises #artwork #oc #legend of zelda #zora oc #dnd #messy bios #im too much of a coward to ask my dm how tall akos is #i know hes in the 7 feets at least #im a fool and didn’t write it down somewhere #the formatting on tumblr mobile apparently just suck. im very sorry.

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transsexual-divinity · 10 months ago

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Scans from my 2005 dvd copy of Totally Fucked Up 1993 dir Gregg Araki that came in the mail saturday

#tumblr formatting sucks so I guess y’all just have to deal w it #also I’ve never scanned anything before so this was fun #havent even watched it (the actual disc) yet since it was like loose flopping around in the case and I don’t want to be disappointed if it’s #-all scratched to shit #m talks #totally f***ed up #totally fucked up #totally fucked up 1993 #gregg araki #I do have a couple others but didn’t wanna cram em in here

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fabdante · 5 months ago

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so i maybe deleted all my video files off of my computer in a mad dash to clear up some memory and don't feel like redownloading them so i just ripped the instagram files

here's that raven DTIYS drawing from months ago

art only blog - insta - inprnt - redbubble

#teen titans #teen titans raven #teen titans fanart #teen titans animated series #tt raven #raven tt #raven #my art #process #art process #posting videos on tumblr is really annoying so i just...avoid it #but now all the formats are going to suck because they're all ripped phone files #im sorry asdfghjk #timelapse

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oozeandgoo-art · 6 months ago

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Masterpost of current art for sale (all prices USD and not including shipping):

SOLD (NSFW) Drag Strip jerking off, black, yellow, and red marker on colored construction paper (around 10in x 10in / 25cm x 25cm, unusually-shaped cutout collage) sale ends 7/18 - $30

Motormaster portrait, black marker (standard paper size on watercolor paper) - no time limit - $25

IDW Arcee humanformer design, pencil and ink (standard paper size on watercolor paper) - no time limit - $25

SOLD (GORY) Megatron and Jazz fighting side by side, glossy art print - sale ends 7/18 - $10

Black-and-white pinup of some guy with long hair, black marker (standard paper size on watercolor paper) - no time limit - $25

Maximal sci-fi guy watercolor, watercolor and ink painting (standard paper size on watercolor paper) - no time limit - $30

Sea dragon watercolor, watercolor painting (around 6in x 7in / 15cm x 18cm, on recycled cardstock) - no time limit -$25

SOLD "Hang In There" poster with Motormaster suspended over a smelting pool by the other Stunticons, watercolor and ink painting (standard paper size on watercolor paper) - sale ends 7/18 - $40

Motormaster with a target over his face, watercolor and ink painting finished with blue glitter (comic book size, on comic book backing cardstock) - no time limit - $30

SOLD (NSFW, GORY) Drag Strip and Motormaster experimenting with eyehole-sex, one half finished, the other half an unfinished comic (standard paper size on watercolor paper) - no time limit - $15

SOLD Gecko-dragon portrait watercolor, watercolor (around 13.5in x 14.5in / 34cm x 37cm on watercolor paper) - no time limit - $30

SOLD Menasor vs Optimus Prime, black marker (4in x 7in / 10cm x 18cm on retro-style dot matrix printer paper) - sale ends 7/18 - $25

SOLD Drag Strip viewed from behind, glossy art print (standard paper size) - sale ends 7/18 - $10

Shoot me an email ([email protected]) or reach out to me here if you're interested. I am willing to "reserve" pieces and do payment plans, particularly if you're interested in more than one piece.

#update #sale #also god why does tumblr's editor suck so bad #i want to reorganize this a little so the sold ones are at the bottom #but i can't copy anything with formatting #and i also don't want to delete any of the links

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akiirart · 1 year ago

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final boss sketches

#my art #sketch/doodle #lies of p #lies of p fanart #pinocchio #tw blood #nameless is so fun to draw honestly probably my favorite boss #image formatting on here sucks so much lmao #like i draw one fullbody and two busts almost every page and tumblr hates that #nameless puppet #Q

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notfreetoday · 1 year ago

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MPW Language Analysis Part 2

Segasaki x Yoh: Shifts in Emotion and Acknowledging Roles

Masterlist || Language Analysis Part 1 || The Importance of Amae ||

In Japanese, one cannot utter a sentence without communicating at least two things: (1) the actual content of the message itself, the referential meaning; and (2) a metamessage about the relationship between the speaker and the listener, an indexical meaning. A striking feature about Japanese is that it is the latter message that most often assumes greater importance.

From: Creating an Ideal Self: Theories of Selfhood and Pedagogy at a Japanese Ethics Retreat by Dorinne K. Kondo

Every sentence that Segasaki and Yoh say to each other carries 2 meanings - the one we read in the subtitles, and too often, the one that never travels across the screen. The "miscommunication" that many perceive to be happening isn't always just about "using actions vs words" (though there is much to be said about that too) - the words are being used, but it's hard to hear them when said words are in Japanese and packed with information English is simply not designed to carry.

So, with 6 episodes of corrections made and nuances explained, it's finally time to get back to actually talking about how all of this adds to our understanding of the characters and of their relationship. In these 6 episodes, both Segasaki and Yoh have run the entire gamut of speech levels - but where Segasaki shifts consistently and with purpose, Yoh tends to shift as a reflexive, or reactionary response.

Or, what Segasaki choosing to shift up a speech level means to Yoh, and what Yoh's inconsistent shifts tells Segasaki (and us), about his emotional state. I'm kinda sorta not really sorry about this but ah, it's maybe possibly probably even longer than usual??

Quick Recap of Part 1:

We established two key aspects of their relationship:

1) They both acknowledge the power differential between them - Segasaki, by using "rougher" speech patterns, and Yoh, by tending to stick to the more polite end of the scale. 2) They both consider themselves to be from the same "in-group" - Both of them default to informal speech patterns when speaking to each other (even Yoh, despite being the junior/lower on the social hierarchy)

And now on to Part 2!

Changes in Emotion: Yoh

Yoh tends to experience his emotions rather intensely, and through his monologues we understand that he isn't always able to process these emotions immediately. As such, the shifts in his speech levels tend to happen subconsciously - there isn't an immediately obvious, predictable pattern to those shifts, because they are simply a reflection of how he's feeling in the moment.

Y: あ、いや。なんでもない…です* Y: Ah, iya, nandemonai…desu* Y: Ah, no, it's….nothing* The shift to polite form, and the awkward manner in which he does it, reflects Yoh's growing insecurity (See EP 2 for other examples).

From the moment Segasaki starts returning home late, Yoh becomes more and more unsure of where he stands with Segasaki, and this growing emotional distance is conveyed through his speech patterns becoming (awkardly) more polite than in Ep 1. He speaks hesitantly and indirectly, until he gets drunk (and even then, his insecurity still shows in how he barely switches down to rough speech during their not-argument).

In Ep 3, we again see Yoh shifting up to polite forms often, except this time, the shifts show his gratitude as well as sincerity.

Because of how ridiculously expensive the pork bun is, Yoh expresses his thanks by saying the full ありがとうございます (arigatou gozaimasu) here as opposed to just "arigatou" or other more casual forms. In return, Segasaki acknowledges the formality Yoh pays him with a nod (and a mouthful of pork bun).

Y: すいません Y: suimasen Y: I'm sorry This is the more formal version of "I'm sorry" (textbook pronunciation is sumimasen, but textbooks are for nerds Yoh's version is very common as well and still polite)

In both these scenes, Yoh switches to suimasen as opposed to his usual, and more casual, ごめん / ごめんなさい (gomen/gomen nasai), that he also uses in this episode. As previously mentioned, "sorry" in Japanese can also be used to mean "thank you". Here Yoh is doing both - apologizing for Segasaki having to "go the extra mile" to take care of him (ie, he feels he has imposed upon Segasaki - a fear he has mentioned a few times), and at the same time also expressing his gratitude for being taken care of. However, it's the shift up to the polite version that conveys his sincerity, and carries the extra message that - despite his regret at imposing on Segasaki - Yoh still values these moments and feels touched by them.

Both times, you see Segasaki taking note of this, albeit slightly confused, and probably a little shy too (Segasaki is after all, very good at picking up on social cues - especially Yoh's - and spends the whole of Ep 3 doing just that).

Y: 漫画が　とてもだめです Y: manga ga totemo dame desu Y: (My) manga is... really bad.

Yoh spends most of Ep 5 safely ensconced in the informal speech level, switching up only twice - the above scene, and later when he attributes his recovery to Segasaki's care as a way of thanks. The switch in the bathroom is sudden, and adds a sense of certainty to his statement that reflects the intensity of the despair he feels (even though he comes across as more kicked puppy than anything). The formality is also a way to "distance" himself from the reality of it, because it does hurt to acknowledge this.

All of these instances show us that Yoh's shifts up in speech levels tend to reflect when he's feeling vulnerable in some way - when he's insecure, dejected or hurt, or when he feels that he has imposed upon Segasaki.

So then, does Yoh also shift down?

Well, yes and no.

Left (Ep 4): Y: ふざけんな [very rude] Y: Fuzakenna Y: The hell are you doing! Right (Ep 5): Y: バカにすんなよ！[slurred vowels] Y: baka ni sun na yo Y: Don't look down on me!

Even if we include (just barely) the non-argument of Ep 2, there honestly aren't many scenarios in which Yoh shifts down to a "rougher" speech pattern - and he never drops as low as Segasaki does. This has to do with both his acknowledgement of the power differential that exists between Segasaki and him, as well as his less assertive nature. In fact, even when speaking to Man-san, with whom he shares his thoughts more freely, Yoh remains casual, but not rough. (Man-san is waaaay rougher than Yoh, tbh). Hence, when Yoh does shift down, it tends to be explosive and short lived, just like his frustration or anger.

So why "yes and no"? Because being lower in the social hierarchy also introduces another, more interesting way to express yourself - by choosing not to switch up.

We see this in Ep 5, when Yoh tries to lie about going to Man-san's place. He sticks to his baseline informal speech when he announces this, whereas he previously used polite speech in Ep 4. Is it possible that Yoh was simply overcompensating and trying too hard to sound casual to hide his lie in Ep 5? Yes. But before coming to that conclusion, there is another important detail to note - that instances like this, where Yoh doesn't switch up, have gradually been increasing as the show progresses.

In Ep 5 and 6, Yoh uses the slightly less formal gomen nasai to apologize (contrast this with Ep 2's suimasen mentioned earlier). Given that Yoh himself mentions in Ep 5 that he thought Segasaki would be angry, and in Ep 6 clearly underscores his apology with a proper bow (yes, there are standards to how you should bow in Japan) - you would think that these 2 situations would be the perfect time to switch back up again. So why? Once again, the key to unlocking the metamessage is the wider context; i.e., we need to consider what Segasaki has been doing. please indulge my desire to sound cool and mysterious despite already announcing it in the title

Establishing Roles: Segasaki

In direct contrast to Yoh, Segasaki is very consistent with his speech shifts, and a clear pattern emerges. First off - when Segasaki is angry with Yoh, he drops straight down.

Left (Ep 2): S: てめぇ [very, very rude] S: temee S: You Right (Ep 5): S: 分かってねぇだろ　分かってねぇから　泊りで仕事とか言い出すんだろうが [slurred Rs, word contraction, slurred vowels] S: wakattenee daro wakattenee kara tomari de shigoto toka ii dasun darou ga S: You don't do you? You don't understand and that's why you can just say things like you'll stay out to work overnight.

Like, waaaaaaaay down. The argument in Ep 5 is the most obvious example of this, but using "temee" to address someone like he does in Ep 2 is very very rude and, together with the "haaah?!" Segasaki says before this line, also does a lot to convey that he is Not Happy.

S: 明日は仕事すんのか [word contraction] S: ashita wa shigoto sun no ka S: すんのかしないのか、どっちだよ [word contraction, informal, assertive end particle] S: sun no ka shinai no ka, docchi da yo S: Are you working tomorrow? S: Working or not, which is it?

The lines in this interaction from Ep 3 aren't really rude per se - certainly not compared to temee - but they are rougher than his usual and very direct. We've seen Segasaki do this multiple times throughout the episodes - dropping his levels when he's being assertive, and it is in response to that assertiveness, that Yoh gives the following reply:

Y: いや、ないです [plain forms, but with the addition of desu form] Y: Iya, nai desu Y: No, I don't [have anything planned]

Mixing plain forms with -desu at the end makes Yoh's reply a little more formal, and is another way in which Yoh acknowledges the power differential between them. Being higher in the social hierarchy means Segasaki enjoys a greater sense of linguistic freedom, and shifts down in speech level are therefore unsurprising, and indeed, expected.

So, if there is no real need for Segasaki to shift up, then, what does it mean when he chooses to do so?

Left: S: まあ　残念ながら　相手は大嫌いな俺ですけど S: Maa... zennen nagara aite wa daikirai na ore desukedo S: Well, unfortunately, your partner is me - who you hate so much Right: S: 好きにさせてもらうけど...な？ S: suki ni sasete morau kedo... na? S: I'll gratefully do as I please...yea?

After an entire episode of using Yoh's own words to tease him as a way to try and get Yoh to face his own feelings, Segasaki lands his sharpest and strongest push of the day in these 2 scenes not by reinforcing the hierarchy between them, but by subverting it. Shifting up to a more formal speech level when he doesn't have to, particularly in the second scene where he uses deferential word forms, creates the illusion of elevating Yoh in the hierarchy, which is then immediately undermined by the irreverent tone in which Segasaki says them.

In other words, Segasaki only shifts up as a power play.

S: よくできました S: yoku dekimashita

We first see Segasaki use this formal way of saying "well done" at the end of Ep 3 and again in Ep 4, and it brings to mind the literal stamp of approval that teachers often give to students in school. Here, there is no teasing or subversion of the hierarchy going on. Segasaki is establishing his role in Yoh's life - to provide and care for him - through the use of polite speech, and reinforcing the power differential between them in the most straightforward way possible.

This use of polite speech allows the speaker to indirectly index their social identity - often as one who is in charge or responsible. Within the Japanese household, it also happens when a role/obligation (often parental) is being carried out - eg , a parent might switch to polite speech to indicate their role as provider when asking the rest of the family "What would you like to eat?". Similarly, we again see Segasaki underscore his role in the following:

Left (Ep 5) S: ごちそうさまでした S: Gochisousama deshita S: Thank you for the food Right (Ep 4) S: 寝るなら部屋いきな* S: neru nara heya ikina S: If you're going to sleep, then go to the room alright?

In Ep 5, Segasaki leads the saying of this standard phrase, customarily said at the end of a meal to express gratitude to everything that made the meal possible. It is the use of the full, more formal version (as opposed to just gochisousama) that indexes his role as Yoh's caregiver when he leads in saying this, and indeed he spends most of Ep 5 enjoying that role. In Ep 4, although he does not quite use the -masu form here, the imperative form "ikina" brings to mind a parent trying to coax their child to bed, the same way Segasaki is doing to a very drunk and sleepy Yoh.

This is the key we were looking for - with every episode, Segasaki consistently reinforces his role in Yoh's life, the same way he consistently responds to and encourages Yoh's amae. And with every episode, Yoh becomes a little more confident of his place with Segasaki, a little more willing to believe that maybe Segasaki might really return his feelings. It's easy to look at Yoh in Ep 2, see him push Segasaki away, and think that the same Yoh appears in Ep 5, but that couldn't be further from the truth. Because in Ep 2, a drunk Yoh barely drops to rough speech, whereas in Ep 5, a sober Yoh feels safe enough to even "curse" a little (well, as far as cursing goes in Japan at least, which admittedly is not far). In both word and action, they have both grown, and have both contributed to the strengthening of their relationship.

So! In conclusion (omg we made it to the end) we have established that:

Segasaki has a clear, predictable pattern in his shifts - he switches up to formal when establishing or reinforcing his role in Yoh's life, but when he's serious, or angry with Yoh, he drops all the way down.

Yoh is less consistent, because his shifts tend to be more subconscious and reflective of his emotional state. He's more inclined to switch up when he's in a vulnerable state, eg, feeling insecure or dejected, or when he wants to express his sincerity in apologizing or showing gratitude. When he's nervous, or in response to Segasaki either being direct with him or upset with him, he'll sort of switch up too (ie, he'll mix polite forms with informal forms, or he'll try to say things in an indirect way).

Through the use of speech level shifts, both Segasaki and Yoh indirectly reinforce and acknowledge their individual roles in each other's life, and by observing the changes in these shifts over time, we the audience are able to track the progression of their relationship as well.

In the next part, we'll look at the differences in the way they speak to others versus between themselves - looking specifically at examples from Ep 4, 6 and 7.

As always, thank you for reading, and feel free to ask any questions! (*ˊᗜˋ*)/

#my personal weatherman #taikan yohou #体感予報 #segasaki x yoh #sociolinguistics #japanese language #MPW language analysis #mytranslations #MPW subtitle corrections #this post assumes you have read part 1 of the language analysis #who says MPW is over #it's not over i don't believe it #also this was so long #was it too confusing? should I be less nerdy?#ep 7's corrections will come out next #tumblr's formatting sucks but reddit sucks more lol #i still enjoy writing these posts though #i hope it gives everyone an excuse to rewatch MPW again

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