#tumblr told me to shut the fuck up and stop typing

[ropes3amthoughts]

OUGH KABRU 😭😭😭😭😭😭 I LOBE HIM SO MUCH 😭😭😭😭😭 HE CATES SO MUCH ABOIT OTHER PEOPPLE BUT HE DOESNT CARE ABOUT HIMSELF AND HE DOESNT CARE IF HE DIES AND HE THINKS SO LITTLE OF HIMSELF AND HE DOESNT CARE ABOUT HIMSELF AND HE THINKS HIS ONLY OURPOSE IS TO ACT AS A TOOL TO PREVENT A LIKE UTAYA FROM HAPPENING AGAIN 😭😭😭 AND HES. A DORK TOO 😭😭😭😭 OUGH IK GONNA BE SO SICK KM COUBID AGH KABRU 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 KABRUUUUUUUUU 😭😭😭😭😭 HIS HEART IF SULL OF LOVE 😭😭😭 LOVE AND PEACE 😭😭😭 KANRU 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 OUGHHJJJJ KABRU 😭😭😭😭 *NOT CRAZY TOTALLY NORMAL AND SANE VOICE* HEY GUYS ASK ME TO TALK ABOUT KABRU 🙂 THEFE IS MH NORMAL FACE READY TO TALK ABOUT GIM 🙂 KABRJJJHHHH HES I LOVE HOM 😭😭😭😭😭 SUCH A SQEET GUY I LOBE HOME SO MUCHHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 THE POCTURES ARE ALL OIT OF ORDER AND A MESS BUT IDGAF THIS IS KABRU KABRU 😭😭😭😭 IM HOMOSEXUAL KABRU I LOBE YOI 😭😭😭 HEY GIUS TIME FOR MY TOTALT NTOMALU KABRU POST LMAO HERE IT GOES 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 KABRU MAKES ME SO SICK HE HAS INSOMNIA AND HE DRINKS ALCHOHOL TO HELP WITH IT YOU STUPIF ODIIOT MAN 😭😭😭😭😭😭 THATS JOT TRJE HES ACTUALLY SO SMART HEARTTTTTT OUGH KABRU 😭😭😭😭 HES SO GOOD AT COMING UP WOTH PLANS AND THINKING GAST HES SOKKOOOOOK SMART WOWZA AND HES SO SWEET 😭😭😭😭😭 IF I WAS DROWNING IN A RIVER I THKNK HE WOULD FISH ME OUT. AND SAVE ME. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 SWEET RHANG WHO CARE ABOUT PEOPLE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 IM SO SICK OBER THE FACT HE STILL ISNT OVER HIS TRAUMA BUT HE REGULARLY GOES INTO THE DUNGEON AND FACES HIS TRAUMA BECAUSE HE WANTS TO CONSQUER THE DUNGEKN BECAUSE HE WANTS TO PREVENT SOEMRHIJT LIKE UYAYA FROM HAPPENING LIKE MAN YOU ARE OUSHING TOURSELF SK MUCH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 WHY HASNT HE HAD A PRIPER LAMB SYEW😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 LROBABNLY BECAUSE HES SO BUDY TRYING TO LOOK OUT FOR. OTHERS 😭😭😭😭😭😭 HE DOESNT SPEND ENKUHH TIME KOVING HIMSELF 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 POST CANON COMIC WHERE KABRU FINALLY GETS TO EAT LAMB STEW WHEN 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 KABRU GETTINF A PRIPER EIGHT HOORS OF SLEEP WEHN 😭😭😭😭😭😭 KABRU LOVING HIMSELF QHEN 😭😭😭😭 THINKING ABOIT HOW GUILTY HE FEELS LIKE HE WAS THE KNLY SURVIVOR OF THE YTAYA TRAGEDY SO HE HAS SURVIBORS GUITY AND HE PROBS FEELS RESPONSIBKE FOR HIS MOMS DEATHS ESPECIALLY LIKE SHE HAD A NICE COMFORTABKR HOME BUT SHE HAD TO LEAVE BECAUSE HE WAS BORN WITH BLUE EYES AND SHE HAD TOSTRUGGLE AND RAISE HIM AS A SINGLE MKTHER AND THEN THE YTAYA TRGEDY HAPPENED LIKE SHE WOUKDNG HAVE HAD TO MOVE TO UTYA IF IT WERENT FOR HIM HE PROBABBKH FEELS LIKE ITS ESPECIALLY NIS FAULT AND WHEN HE WAS TELLING MILSIRIL HE THINKS HE IS A MONSTER BECAUSE OF HIS EYES???????? HE WAS SEVEN DAMN YEARS OLDS AND MONSTERS KILLED EVERY SINGLE PERSON HE KNEW AND HE THOUGHT HES A. MONSTER SHUT THE FUCK UP 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭POORTHINH 😭😭😭😭😭 HE PROBABKLH IS NONCHLANT ABOIT DYING BECAUSETHINKS HE DESERVES TK DIE 😭😭😭😭😭 HE FEELS RESPONSIBLE FOR UTAYA AND BE FELT RESPLONSIBLE FOR THE DEMON AND HE DELT RESPONINKR FOR EVERYTHING HE FELT SI GUILTH HE FELT LIKE A MONSTER SBJT UPPPPPPPPP 😭 MY PHONE IS IVERHEATEDING AND MY KEYBAORD IS CRASHING ANR MY RANT GOT DLEETED GWIVE TUMBLR IS TRHING TO SILENCE ME. J CANNOT B SILENVED I AM NO NORMAL ABOUT KABRU AND I NEVEE WILL BE I LKBE HIM SO MUCH WHAT A GREAT CHATACTER KABRU THEY COILD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU KABRU I LOVE YOU KABRU KABRU KBRU LOBE YOU HE JS DESR TO MY HESRT MU BELOEBD IM NOT HIS BIGGEST FAN BUT I THINK I WOUKD BE TOP 10000 I LOBE HIM ANS J CAR HIM 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭GYS POST MLRE KABRH PLEASE EEE 😇 WAITER WAITER MORE KABRU PLEASE :3 BOY ARE YOU UH ARE YOU A SANDIEXH BC UH UH IDK AXTYALLY I WANT O EAT A SANDWICH RN IM HUNGRY I FORGOT LINCH WHOOPS BUT I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN KABRU 🔥 I WILL EAG A MWAL SO I HAVE RHE NERGU ETO LOOK AG PICYURES OF KABU 🔥 HELL YEAH 🔥 KABRU 🔥 KABRU MY GORGEOUS HANDOMS 🔥 IF I XOULD PAINT I WOULD PAINT HIM 🔥 CHOKES AND DIES 🔥 IHNORE THAG 🔥 KABRH 🔥 I COULD MAKE AN INTELLGIENT AND WELL THKIHHT OIT RANT ABOUT HIM BUT THIS IS EASIER THIS IS MY TRUE UNFIKTERED FEELINBS THESE ARE SCANS FRKM MH BRAJNA 🔥 KABRU 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[maxiskindahere]

Hell is forever | Lute x F!Reader

i’ve become obsessed w Hazbin Hotel recently and well where’s better to write than Tumblr!

I also love x readers and Lute so this is a fun time xx

i also haven’t written in a WHILE so this is not my best work but i promise im better xx

————

CW: swearing, sexual comments

Lute was an interesting person, she wasn’t typically the type of person you’d get in with. But since meeting her & Adam, you are sure that your life has improved… to an extent.

——

“Hey, Y/N! Don’t you think Lute would so much better with less on?” Adam teases as you walk into his office “Adam, you are going to be the first man with no dick if you don’t shut up.” Y/N deadpans, plopping down beside Lute on the couch

“You’re no fun, Y/N” Adam complains, throwing his head back with a groan “I just know that if I agree with you, Lute is very much able to fuck me up.”

You know of the exterminations, and you know Lutes body count. Being on her bad side is not something you wanted.

“Please, Lute’s too busy st-“ Adam is cut off with a yelp as Lute throws something at him “Shut up, Adam.” She hisses, glaring daggers at him “Fine fine” He mutters, flipping her off as you look between them in confusion

“So what happened in Hell?” You decide to ask, knowing the extermination had happened just a week prior. “Well we had a talk with Lucifers bitch daughter today.” Adam begins in a rant about how “Charles” decided to talk about how she wants the exterminations gone and some bullshit hotel

“She seriously thinks sinners can be redeemed?” Y/N questions, leaning forward “What does Sera think about this?” Adam scoffs, rolling his eyes

“she doesn’t know, it’s not like it’s going to cause problems anyways.”

——

Adam was wrong. It was definitely going to cause problems, but that wasn’t her issue. So, she continued on with her day while waiting for the time to come when she’d meet Lute for lunch.

“Sorry!” A voice exclaims as Y/N feels someone crash into her “Fuck!” She yelps out, quickly spinning around to be met with two demons and Emily, the seraphim of joy.

The h/c girl quickly straightens up “Seraphim Emily! What… are you doing here?” She splutters out, glancing nervously at the demons “Oh hush, Y/N. You know you can call me Em when Sera isn’t around” Emily informs the girl with a happy smile.

“Right well.. Em, what is.. going on?” She questions the seraphim, still glancing between the demons “Right! This is Charlie and Vaggie! They’re representatives from Hell!” The girl cheerfully explains

Y/N’s eyes widen “Holy crap! You’re the princess aren’t you?” She asks Charlie, whose face flushes “Yep, that’s me..!” She says awkwardly before taking Vaggies hand in hers “This is my girlfriend, Vaggie” She introduces with a soft smile

Y/N grins “I knew gay people went to he-“ She’s cut off by Emily wacking her lightly “I’m kidding! That’s sick, congrats” She says softly, fluttering her wings

“So, you here about this.. hotel thing?” Y/N questions, crossing her arms together “How do you know about that?” Emily quizzes the girl who pauses for a second “Uh, Lute told me!” She quickly states, rubbing her arm

Emily’s eyes widen “please tell me you two are-“ Before Emily can continue, Y/N spots Lute approaching the four “Respectfully, your majesty please stop” Y/N hisses out as Lute reaches them

“Y/N, where have you been?” Lute asks the girl, anger clear in her voice “Sorry, I ran into these lovely girls and you know how I feel about ditching people” Y/N states innocently, smirking at the anger in Lutes eyes “And you know how I feel about waiting, finish up here and meet me in my office.” Is all the taller girl says before departing

“She seems.. nice.” Charlie says after a few moments of silence “Oh she is, I just don’t think she likes demons” Y/N comments, she knew Emily was unaware of the exterminations and she was not about to admit that she knew to anyone.

“I’m not sure why, you two are lovely” Emily pouts, causing Charlie and Vaggie to give her light smiles “But uh, I better go.. Lute will be a pain if I keep her waiting much longer” She says, excusing herself as she bids farewell to the trio and makes her way to Lute’s office

“Hey..” Y/N says awkwardly, walking into the unlit office before being slammed against the now shut door “I can’t believe you!” Lute exclaims, glaring down at Y/N

“What did I do?” The girl yelps out, feeling the pain rush to her wings “You’re talking with Vaggie! Of all people!” Suddenly everything made sense.

Lute was always fighting for Adam’s favouritism with Vaggie. She was better than Vaggie in every way, but until Vaggies betrayal Adam couldn’t see it.

Since then, the girl had some serious issues with abandonment.

“Oh cmon Lute! You know I don’t care about that failure” Y/N tries to reassure as she feels Lutes heavy breathing hit her face “I only care about you, I promise” Y/N says softly as she notices Lutes eyes soften

“Sorry.” Lute mutters, still holding Y/N against the door “I know a way you can make it up to me” Y/N mumbles, looking down at Lutes lips before glancing back up at her eyes which were wide in surprise before slowly leaning down and capturing the angels lips.

Y/N quickly reciprocates the kiss, wrapping her arms around Lutes neck and pulling her closer, desperate to have the girl closer to her.

But before anymore could be done, Adam suddenly barges in knocking the two away from each other

“The trials starting, come on.”

—

[freedomfireflies]

hi! if you’re still taking requests could you please write something about being pregnant and you’re getting some hate from harry’s fanbase about your body and harry reassures you about how you’re beautiful and all that, maybe some smut if you can?? i’m feeling a bit insecure about my body today and i really wish i had someone to help me through that 😓 if you don’t want to no worries, i love your work 🫶🏻

I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to do this, but I hope it can help remind you exactly how wonderful, stunning, and loved you are!

“No.”

“Angel…just come here—”

“I said no.”

Harry’s eyes narrow playfully as he regards you from the bed. “Baby, if I have to pick you up and carry you back over, I promise you aren’t gonna like what happens next.”

You snort from your place inside the closet, although truth be told, you don’t doubt that he will. “I’ll be there in a second, okay—”

“No, not okay. I want you here now,” he insists, and you suck in a quiet breath as your lids squeeze shut, willing yourself not to cry.

After a moment or two, you turn around and face him, taking a hesitant step closer as he offers a sympathetic smile. 

“Good girl,” he murmurs. “That’s it, come on. Right here.”

He pats his parted thighs until you slip yourself between them. And once you do, he takes hold of your hips and keeps you firmly planted to your spot. 

“Now…tell me what’s going on up here, hm?” he whispers, reaching up to tap his finger along your temple. “Tell me, Angel.”

A beat as you debate how much to share. “It's...nothing. Really,” you sigh, not exactly in the mood to divulge the abuse your mind has been putting you through for the past few days.

Well…weeks, actually. Months. Years.

“Eh, wrong,” he declares teasingly. “Try again.”

You look down at him, throat burning from the force of attempting to keep yourself together. “I just…I don’t know. I can’t seem to find anything to wear that I feel…good in.”

His playful attitude seems to diminish, brows pulling together as his lips purse and he looks up at you. “S’your mind being mean to you again?”

“Probably,” you mumble, glancing down at his shirt, hoping to focus on that instead. The look in his eye isn't helping the pit in your stomach. “Or maybe I’m just finally seeing myself for what I am.”

“And what are you?”

You tangle your fingers in the material on his chest. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry. “I’m exactly who they said I was.”

“Who?”

You go quiet, not exactly thrilled with the idea of reliving it.

“Who, Angel?” he repeats a bit sterner, shaking your hips once. 

You roll your lips into your mouth. “The comments. All the comments. Everywhere. Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Tumblr. At your shows, on the street, from some of those girls at the party. They’ve made it very clear that I’m not your type and I just…I don’t know. I guess I didn’t see it before, or I didn’t want to see it before but now I do, and I just don’t—”

He shakes you again until you stop, palm reaching up to cup your jaw and force your eyes on him. “Hey, easy, okay? Enough. That’s the fucking love of my life you’re talking about, yeah? I don’t wanna hear that shit—”

“Yeah, well I don’t either, but here we are,” you huff, yanking your head away so you can look back down at the floor.

But Harry isn’t so easily deterred, quickly taking your face in both his hands this time around as he brings your attention back to him. “All right, well let’s start with this: they can go fuck themselves. They don’t know my type. They don’t know jack shit about me or what I like—”

“Har,” you interject with a pointed look. “It’s not that hard to guess that your type is skinny and blonde—”

“No, see, fuck that, too,” he scoffs. “Look, am I gonna sit here and pretend there haven’t been a few coincidences? No. There’s a pattern, I see that. But that’s not why I dated them. I dated them because of who they were. Because of how I felt when I was around them. Because of their intentions and their morals not because of the way they looked.”

It’s a nice argument. Almost believable, too. You know Harry like the back of your hand. You know what he’s drawn to. Know that he cares about what’s in someone’s heart first and foremost. 

But you also know that he’s a man and men are pigs and horny all the goddamn time.

“I believe that you believe that,” you tell him. “Doesn’t change the fact that the world expects you to be with someone that looks like…you know, not me.”

That handsome face of his falls into a frown. “You think I make my choices based on what the world expects of me?”

You sigh, head shaking once. “No,” you whisper, rather ashamed. “No, I just…I guess I wished I saw something else when I looked in the mirror.”

He stares at you for a moment. Quietly. Purposefully. Then, he stands.

You scramble back as he grabs your hand and leads you toward the corner of the bedroom where your full-length mirror resides.

Oh, great, you think, feet dragging a bit as he places you in front of your reflection and settles in behind you.

“I’m gonna tell you what I see, yeah?” he declares as he peeks over your shoulder to meet your eye in the mirror. “And you’re gonna fucking listen to me. Not to them. Not to your anxiety or your overthinking. Me. Just me. Deal?”

Not like you really have a choice, you sigh again as you nod once.

“Good girl.” His fingers delicately begin to trace down the slope of your shoulders and down your arms as your breath hitches. “I see the arms that held me the night I found out my friend had died. The arms that make me feel safe and loved. The arms that carried each and every one of those flowers to my mom’s house for her birthday and the arms that let me be the little spoon when I need it.”

Your teeth pull at your lip in an attempt to keep from smirking as his touch travels from your arms to your waist and you watch rather intently.

“I see the hips that I grab onto when I’m fucking ruining you against the wall. The hips that I grab onto when you sit on my lap and grind that pretty ass against my cock when you think no one is looking. I see the hips that I squeeze when you’re dancing with me in that pretty red dress I fucking adore,” he continues, his voice a gentle purr, and suddenly, you don’t feel like smirking anymore.

He moves back up, fingers sweeping down the back of your neck before dancing around your throat and along your jaw.

“I see the face of the woman I love. The lips I love to bite until they bleed. The eyes that look at me when I’m doing something annoying, or stupid, or just a little bit dangerous. The eyes that watch me when I ruin you with my tongue, or when I dance around the stage, or when I get into the shower even though you think I don’t notice.”

You’re not quite sure you’re breathing at this point, his pointed gaze still on yours through the reflection as his hand begins to fall to your chest.

“I see the body that brought you to me. I see your heart in the little things you do. The way you speak. The way you make sure everyone around you is okay before you check on yourself. I see your heart in the way you trust me. The way you sacrifice your sanity just to follow me around the world on the world’s tiniest tour bus. In the way you play my mom’s dumb Rabbit, Rabbit game every month because it makes her so happy and no one else will play it with her.”

Now you do laugh, head shaking as you glance down at the floor.

But he brings two fingers to your chin to raise it back up once again as he leans closer, lips ghosting the shell of your ear. 

“I see the legs that shake when I tease you,” he murmurs. “The thighs that squeeze around my head when you come. I see the skin that looks so beautiful when it’s sweaty and sticky and soft under my touch. I see the ass I could bounce a quarter off of. I see the curves I love to run my tongue along. I see the dips that fit mine like a fucking puzzle piece. Like it was always meant to fit. Your body in mine.”

You’re leaning back against his chest, now hardly able to stand as he nearly brings you to his knees with his words alone. You’re almost annoyed at the way he’s managed to play you and yet…you know that everything he says, he means.

When he’s sure he has your full attention, he slips his arms around your waist until he can press his palms to your stomach, chin on your shoulder as you suck in a longing breath.

“I see the body that holds our baby,” he says softly, and you feel the tears sneaking their way to your eyeline. “The body that made our baby. The body that carries it, protects it, nourishes it. The stomach that looks just as glorious now as it did the first time I saw it. The stomach that I love to run my lips along. To taste, to have, to bite until it’s my name you see when you look in the mirror.”

Your head is spinning, filled with more voices than you can count. And every comment. The ones online, the ones telling you that you’re not who you should be, and now…his.

And then suddenly, it goes quiet. 

Until all you hear…is him.

“I see the love of my life,” he continues as your eyes meet his again. “I see you. I see the only person I want to see. The only person I want to come home to. The only person I’ve ever truly wanted. No matter what they tell you, no matter what you tell yourself…it doesn’t change what I see. No numbers, no sizes, no comments. I just see you. I see the person that makes me feel safe and the body that gives me the kind of hard-on that has me wanking off in a coat closet just to get some relief.”

You’re not sure whether to laugh or cry, so you do both as he smirks and reaches his knuckles up to catch a stray tear falling down your cheek.

“I know that this isn’t something that I can fix, no matter how good I am,” he adds teasingly. “But I want you to promise me something, yeah?”

You nod.

“Next time you hear anybody else’s voice but mine…you come straight to me. So I can show you exactly who you are to me.”

You don’t answer with words. Instead, you turn around and kiss him. Fingers in his hair as you slip your tongue past his and try with everything you have to let him know how much you love him. How much you appreciate him.

How much you need him.

He’s more than grateful to have you on him like this, already attempting to pull you back toward the bed, but before the tender moment can pass, you take a second to breathe and press your forehead to his.

He waits patiently, keeping his hold on you tight as you work to find the right words.

“I love you,” is all you can say, lashes falling shut, overcome with emotion and need. “I really fucking love you.”

“I love you, Angel,” he replies, laughing a bit as if he can hardly believe how lucky he is.

Then, he kisses you again.

“Now let me see you.”

~ Full Masterlist

~ Other Harry Blurbs

[lady-october]

Pairing : Oli Sykes x Female Assistant Genre : Romance, Smut (18+ Only) Previous Chapters : Available on Ao3 & Tumblr

Story Content : Smut, Drama, Choking, Power dynamics, Romance, Rough sex, Sadism/Masochism, Dom/Sub, Mentions of addiction & self harm, Degradation, Praise kink, Exhibitionism, Orgasm denial, Breath play, Dirty talk.

Summary :

“Don’t you see what a dangerous game you’re playing? Why did you have to look so fucking delicious tonight, I couldn’t stop undressing you in my mind, thinking of all the twisted things I want to do to you.” She had only worked on the touring team for three weeks, but her mind had been hijacked by dirty thoughts of a man she barely even talked to. Sure, he was very attractive, but were there other reasons she was so uncontrollably drawn to him? This is a filthy story of pain, self discovery, and love.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Chapter 28: Oh, what a wonderful life

Chapter title is lyrics from “Wonderful Life” 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The first thing I noticed when I saw him was his hollow eyes. The exhaustion so present on his features that for a moment I struggled to remember all the things I needed to discuss with him. 

“Hi.” He breathed, leaning – resting – against the doorframe. The smile he aimed at me further showcasing how tired he must be. 

Come on, Alice, you can do this. 

Thankfully, I managed to centre myself before too long, “So, are you gonna meet up with her?” 

“I think so, yeah.”  

I shouldn’t be jealous, I shouldn’t feel insecure, but this is someone he’s explicitly expressed to be the love of his life; someone he considered a soulmate. 

Someone who was obviously still interested in him. 

And from reading their chat – specifically from seeing how Oli spoke to her – it was also obvious he still had some form of respect for her. Despite her deep betrayal. 

I’d been fighting the urge to look up his exes as soon as he’d vocalised being cheated on during the flight to America. But today those temptations had proven too much. 

That’s another problem with potentially dating a celebrity; their dating history is catalogued online, just a quick search away. All I had to do was type in ‘Oli Sykes girlfriend’ and I’d been flooded with images of her, showing how picture perfect she was, and how perfect they were together. Both so clearly from the same universe, dressed in alt fashion and covered in tattoos. 

Both also very clearly in love. 

And now I had the image of them wrapped up in each other’s arms, kissing, plastered in the back of my mind as an uncomfortable reminder of how out of place I am in his world. 

Oli took a quick glance down the corridor before returning his attention to me, “Can I come in?” 

Distracted by my intrusive thoughts, I simply nodded and stepped to the side. 

I’d expected him to walk into the room, maybe even make himself comfortable. Instead, he hovered next to me as I shut the door, not once taking his tired eyes off me. 

“I was gonna tell you last night that I’d been talking to her.” He said in a low tone, so close to me I could smell the energy drink on his breath. 

“Is that why you were unsure about us being right for each other?” I had to ask, had to know. It had been running through my thoughts for hours. 

Oli shook his head, “No.” He said, but his expression shifted, a grimace threatening to scrunch up his face, “I mean, yeah. But not the way you’re thinking.” 

As I felt a frown pulling on my eyebrows out of confusion, his hand appeared by mine, taking it gingerly in his – a silent question if this intimate touch was acceptable considering the current tension between us. 

Bewildered, I let our fingers intertwine, before he led us to sit on the end of my bed. 

After a deep breath, he told me why he needed to talk to Fay, that he wanted answers, that he needed to let go of the anger and the distrust she had caused in him – how it had made him not trust me.  

He also told me he’s been fighting the urge to use again, to fall into old habits with drugs, that things had been triggering him, just like things had been triggering me. And for a moment I thought to myself that maybe he was right last night, maybe we’re just not right for each other.  

Maybe we do nothing but pull at the strings of our pain, fraying the edges of the delicate fabric further. 

But then he began caressing my hand, holding it in his as if it was precious – as if it was made of glass. He turned it over in his palm, guiding it up to his lips in order to place a kiss on the soft pad of my thumb. Then he opened his mouth to say something that would make me see things from a different perspective. 

“I tried to strangle such a large part of myself the past year, I gave up on so many of the things I desperately want out of life because of how badly I got burnt with Fay; I gave up on love, something that – and I know this sounds cringe – but it’s as vital as air to me.” His vulnerable eyes fell to our hands resting on my thigh, before continuing under his breath, “It's like I've been a fucking zombie, Alice.” 

Silence fell between us for a beat as I tried to stay composed, hating how much I was relating to what he was saying. But then he continued, and I felt the familiar lump build in my throat. 

“Well,” He huffed out a breath, “Until you showed up." 

Large eyes returned to mine, and suddenly breathing no longer seemed to come instinctually, forcing me to focus on the otherwise autonomic function so I wouldn’t simply stop. 

“I was only able to start writing lyrics again after the first night I was with you.” He studied my face as he seemed to search for the right words, “I realise there's problems here, reasons for why we might not work out. But you have no idea how grateful I am for everything you've done for me.” 

Having never felt more alive than when I’m around him, I should see where he’s coming from, I should believe his words, yet I couldn’t help but think that he’s mistaken; that he was confusing me for someone who was special enough to evoke such things. 

“You've opened something up in me that's allowing me to love again, and honestly, even if we don't end up together, at least now I know that giving up on love altogether isn't the solution.” 

Panic set in as I was fighting to speak up, to let him know I also crave to feel. 

Crave to love. 

But the words were stuck in my throat, lodged so thoroughly I wasn’t sure I could say them even if my life was on the line. 

Does he sense my inner battle; can he see it on me? 

There is so much pity in his eyes. 

Or is it disappointment over the fact that I’m once again mute while he pours his heart out to me? 

But long before I got a chance to tackle my loud inner voices, the pity fell away from him, and you could tell by his darting eyes that he was mulling something over. 

“This is our last night here. I wanted to take you to the restaurant, would you like that?” He asked, an exhausted, sombre smile touching his lips. 

I forced out a smile and an eager nod, hoping it would convey at least a crumb of the thoughts I was currently unable to express verbally. 

“Great.” He added, so I stood up, but his hand didn’t let go of mine, nor did he move from his seated positioned at the end of the mattress, “Are we alright to just lay down for a minute first?” 

I shifted awkwardly, “Liam could come back any moment.” 

But I quickly realised his request hadn’t been sexual in nature from the way his sad gaze held mine. 

“I just want to hold you for a bit.” He begged under his breath, and my heart ached. 

“Okay.” I said in return, causing him to visibly relax, before he guided me around the modestly sized double bed, compared to his rooms large king.  

As I made myself comfortable on the plush pillows I’d cried into just an hour ago, he quickly wrapped himself around me, nestling his head into my chest, my chin coming to rest on the top of his head, right in the midst of wild locks that smelled so hypnotising.  

The embrace was unlike the ones we usually shared, he was making himself more vulnerable, turning the moment intimate in a brand new way, causing a storm of emotion to erupt in me. And right as I thought I couldn’t get more overwhelmed by it, his warm hand appeared on my thigh, pulling it over his waist, entangling us further before taking a deep breath, the warm air seeping through the fabric of my shirt, caressing my skin. 

“You always smell so wonderful, love.” He breathed into my chest in a low, rumbling tone, sounding as if he’s about to drift off. 

And your scent makes me wonder if home is a person. 

I swallowed, alarmed by my feelings and my thoughts, shoving them aside to stay sane, to stay in the moment without panicking. 

“That’s good,” I started, feeling unsure of myself, but curiosity got the better of me as it so often does, “You know, I’m having the hardest time placing your scent. What’s in your hair right now?” 

“Sorry about that. It’s just some shampoo I nicked from one of the venues back in the UK when I ran out of my usual stuff. Probably doesn’t smell that pleasant, but beggars can’t be choosers.” 

I couldn’t believe it, the mysterious aroma that had made me feel safe, that drove me wild, was just some random shampoo he didn’t even care for? 

“I– I actually really like it.” I said quietly, the heat of a blush spreading over my cheeks, feeling slightly embarrassed over having placed such significance on such a trivial thing. 

“Yeah? Maybe I’ll get some more then.” His words had come so slurred, the poor thing was clearly hanging onto consciousness by a thread. 

I was going to tell him – reluctantly – that he didn’t need to do that, that he can use whatever products he prefers, but before I got a chance, I felt him twitch, letting me know that sleep had claimed him. 

I sighed, torn between distraction, or allowing myself to indulge in his scent, in him. After a moment of looking at the unruly curls under my nose, I gave in, letting myself take a deep breath and savour the way he made me feel. Which was more than I cared to admit to myself. 

Having mostly focused on feeling as few things as possible for so long, it was no wonder such emotional highs that Oli provided caused fear to stir inside me. 

I was used to spending my days convincing myself that I was happy, that I didn’t want more. That I didn’t feel like I was slowly suffocating and dying inside from staying with someone who made me feel… absolutely nothing. 

You see, my ex was a void, and I simply orbited him, shaping my wants and needs to fit into his lifestyle in order to make things as simple and conflict-free as possible. 

One day we’d sat down in the living room to go through our finances. The TV had been left on in the background, auto playing some sewing tutorial on YouTube that I’d planned to watch at some point. But like all my attempts at creative hobbies, it fizzled and died before I’d even gathered the courage to purchase the supplies to try it. I was simply too good at telling myself that there was no point, that I’d probably be bad at it anyway, that it was a waste of money, or that my time could be spent doing something more productive. 

We were in the middle of deciding how much to transfer to our savings accounts this month, when my ex, Sam, had gotten distracted by the flashing lights caused by the next random video in the queue. 

“Annoying that. Do you like that stuff?” He asked, judgement in his voice, before reaching over to turn off the telly. 

I’d only caught a glimpse of it before he shut it off, but it had looked like concert footage, most likely recommended to me due to all the links Shelley had shared with me lately, to show me the upcoming bands she’d be working on tour with. I wouldn’t be able to recall what bands it had been, as I never much listened to heavier music, and the touring agency specialized in alternative music. All I knew is that it can’t have been Bring Me The Horizon, as this was years prior to her working with them. And years prior to her recommending me for this job. 

“Not really, but Shelley’s been sending me a lot of concert footage lately.” 

He shook his head, “You two have essentially nothing in common, I can’t understand why you’re still friends with her.” 

Shelley was my childhood friend. She was always the outgoing one, the daring one, while I mostly kept to myself. But for some reason she’d latched onto me the first day of school and told me we’d be best friends forever. And so far, she hadn’t been wrong about that. The only reason we hadn’t talked much lately was due to us both being on tour. 

He wasn’t wrong either though; we didn’t have much in common, but that never seemed to matter. We enjoyed each other all the same. 

But Sam and Shelley? They hated each other. Both insisting that the other was bad for me, or just bad in general. In fact, I’m not sure they’ve ever agreed on a single thing besides liking me. 

“You know why.” I muttered, keeping my head low, not wanting to have this argument again. 

“I just don’t get why she insists on pushing her tacky ways on you. You’ve got it all figured out; always the most beautiful girl in the room, got a great job, and a great boyfriend.” The last bit he’d said with a proud smile. 

I rolled my eyes at him, but he just laughed. 

I’m not sure Sam thought I was beautiful, or if he simply approved of my extremely non-offensive way of both acting and dressing, which he always commented on before showing me off to friends and colleges; I was the quiet, polite, smiling girlfriend, dressed to impress even the elderly relatives. Someone who was perfect to bring around to the office Christmas party.  

I also know he very much disapproved of Shelley’s work, always finding new ways of implying that she’s a slut, sleeping around with all the bands she worked with. 

Which, looking back, is hilarious, as I’m currently doing her old job, but sleeping with the lead singer. 

But I know Shelley wasn’t like that. She may come off as a flirt from first impressions, but she’s very happily married, and had always been extremely loyal. In many ways she reminded me of Liam, which explained why they got along so well. And why me and Liam instantly hit it off. 

But Sam’s dislike for Shelley ran a lot deeper than simply looking down on her lifestyle choices. 

The last time Shelley had visited she’d sold me on the idea of getting a tattoo with her. I’ve always liked them, but always been entirely too scared to consider one. Yet I had warmed up to the idea of a vine anklet – discrete, understated, yet pretty. It had felt right, but Sam had talked me out of it. Reaffirming my fears about its permanence, having me question if I would regret it. But he was still angry over the mere idea that Shelley had almost convinced me, as if my opinion on the matter hadn’t really mattered – as if I’m not capable of making an informed decision on my own. 

But considering how scared and indecisive I frequently was, I guess it was understandable why he would assume as much. 

After we were done with our finances, I’d caught myself in the mirror while getting towels for my evening bath. I was still in my work clothes, my hair neatly tucked into a low bun, not a hair out of place. I was the picture of palatable, pleasant and boring. 

It fed my numbness.  

I accepted it – it was comforting. 

Or so I told myself as I undressed, locking the door to the bathroom before getting into the hot, bubbly water, and having myself a silent cry like I did nearly every night before bed. 

I’d stare into my soothing lavender candle I’d lit to help me sleep better, working overtime to convince myself I was happy as the tears streamed down my face. As the walls felt like they were closing in on me. 

Then I’d dry myself off and crawl into bed to sleep next to my perfectly okay boyfriend, ready for my perfectly okay job in the morning. 

No wonder I’d agreed to Shelley’s suggestion of working on the touring team once I’d split with Sam. 

It was just crazy enough of an idea for me to act on in my desperate state, sick of hating my life so fundamentally. 

But I had my apprehensions. 

I’d found out fairly quickly that my first tour would be with a band called Bring Me The Horizon. 

Instantly I’d began researching them. 

The first time I saw Oli I’d pulled a face of disgust.  

He’d been flashing his old vampire fangs, bright coloured contacts, and his skin was more ink covered than not. I’d immediately heard Sam’s voice in the back of my head, telling me that ‘only convicts have face tattoos.’ 

And I’d agreed with him at the time. In fact, many of my close-minded opinions at the time were his. It was just easier to adopt them rather than argue. 

So, in an effort to be my own person, I rejected the notion that there was anything at all to judge about Oliver Sykes. 

But the judgemental thoughts hadn’t ended there. 

I’d read that he was a drug addict. Of course he was, he’s a rockstar. 

I shook myself, realising what I was doing, and moved on, once again promising myself to not judge a book by its cover. 

But I couldn’t seem to stop. 

I learned about his activism, his love for animals, how he’d started his own business alongside the band when he was just a teenager. I’d read over his lyrics and watch his interviews – all of which were riddled with self-criticizing commentary despite his numerous admirable achievements and skillsets. 

And yet I still found myself having judged him, as I’d been shocked to discover that he wasn’t just some lowlife, entitled, celebrity man-child as I’d initially expected. 

For days afterwards I’d kept looking him up, scrolling through pictures and videos of him, listened to his music, checking out his clothing line, perplexed both by him as a person, and why I was so seemingly enthralled by him. 

Do I find him attractive, or am I simply jealous of his bold ways of expressing himself? 

Immediately after that thought I’d texted Shelley. 

“Alice: Dress me like you.” 

It was something she’d wanted to do since we were teens, always insisting that my appearance never reflected how she saw me; telling me that my personality was far richer and exciting than how I presented myself to the world. 

While I felt more comfortable being silly around Shelley than anyone else, I still wasn’t sure I agreed with her opinion on that. 

But I did know she’d jump on the idea of giving me a makeover, and I was beyond fed up with my old ways. 

“Shelley: I’ll do you one better, I’ll dress you like YOU!” 

The next day she’d come over to my mum’s house which I was residing at after my breakup with Sam. She’d brought a mountain of clothes and accessories, both things from her own closet and items she’d picked up on the way here. The first thing she’d put me in was a dress so short it could have been a shirt. 

“You’re made for that.” She’d said without a doubt in her voice, “It’s perfect!” 

“You’re joking? A small breeze and I’ll be on a list.” 

“Who cares, you’re going on tour!” She exclaimed before collapsing into my childhood bed, which we’d spent many nights together in as kids, telling ghost stories under the covers when we were supposed to be fast asleep. 

“I’m not sure.” I muttered, pulling on the hem, attempting to magically make it cover more of my skin than it ever could. 

“Alice, I beg of you, bring it with you, just in case you feel up for wearing it once you’re there.” 

And taking inspiration from the boldness of Mr Sykes, as well as Shelley, I’d done as she’d suggested. In fact, I’d been brave and mostly packed things she’d brought over that day, only packing a handful of items from my usual wardrobe.  

And every time I see myself in the mirror after putting on something Shelley picked out for me, I’d hear Sam’s words in the back of my head, telling me I look like a slag, and I’d smile at my reflection. 

Cause who gives a rat’s arse what that man thinks anyway. 

But it quickly became evident that I cared about what another man thought of me. 

It also quickly became evident that my fascination with Oli wasn’t just jealousy over his daring nature. 

The first time I met him I swear my brain short circuited for a minute. 

“Hiya, love, you alright?” He’d asked with a flash of a smile. 

While I can’t recall what I said, if anything, I remember being in complete awe, convinced his eyes were looking right through me, as if he could tell immediately how my body was responding to his mere presence. 

It had taken me a couple of days to finally accept that I was in fact hopelessly attracted to him, and once I’d accepted that, I’d check him out every chance I got. And while I knew someone like me would never have a shot with someone like that, I kept dressing myself in less and less, hoping that against all odds he’d notice me eventually. 

Just a handful of days before we started the sexcapades in London was the only time I’d thought that maybe he’d actually noticed me in the same way I was noticing him. 

It was an early, gloomy January morning, and we were just about to leave a rented house we’d been staying at for a couple of days between gigs. Everyone was gathered in the living room, half asleep on the corner sofa, as we waited for the taxi to come collect us. Liam was still running around making sure we hadn’t left anything behind, and I was sat in a chair next to the sofa, mindlessly watching the morning news that Lee had left on the telly as everyone were either resting their eyes or on their various devices. 

In an incredibly modern, ugly, design choice, the whole wall behind the telly was comprised of large, black marble tiles, so glossy it acted as a mirrored surface. And every so often I’d let my eyes stray from the news to steal a quick, indulgent glance at Oli in the reflection. 

Only this time I noticed his eyes weren’t on the phone in his hands, nor were they on the big screen in front of him. In fact, it looked an awful lot like they were resting on me. And not on my reflection, no, his gaze was instead to his side, in my direction. 

And what is that expression on his face? 

For a moment I didn’t even dare think it, cause why on earth would he be looking at ordinary, boring Alice? But then I scanned my own reflection and was promptly reminded of how low cut my top was that day.  

In a daring move, I crossed my arms gently, which made my already provocative cleavage spill further. 

Immediately his eyelids grew heavy, his lips parting slightly as the grip on his phone tightened visibly, the veins on his hands becoming more prominent as a result, and I was suddenly very grateful that I was already sitting down, as I’m certain my legs weren’t functional in that moment. 

But while what he was looking at – and how he was enjoying what he saw – was undeniable, I still managed to talk myself out of him being interested in me. Instead, I’d just disregarded it as him not being immune to appreciating a pair of tits when they were presented to him. 

In hindsight, knowing more about Oli, and knowing that he’d been checking me out for a while, it was now clear that this had been a regular occurrence – he’d just managed to be quite stealthy about it. 

And yet… I can’t help but wonder what he could possibly see in me. 

The sun was close to setting as I stared out into the forest view of mine and Liam’s room, the sleeping man next to me breathing slowly and deeply against my chest. And even though he was continuously showing me how special I was to him, I still felt entirely too lacklustre to be loved by him. 

I was a common garden rock, in the arms of a rare gem, and no matter how much I want to open my heart to him, to accept that I was already attached or wanted more, my gut still told me he’d wake up one day, realise how wrong he’d been about me, and see me for the disappointment that I really am. 

... Subscribe to the story on Ao3 for future updates

[a-faggot-with-opinions]

why are people so fucking obsessed with the idea of trans men detransitioning and becoming radfems like

/3000s/725009079209230336/genuinely-genuinely-can-forsee-how-a-lot-of-these

how do people see us talking about the fact that there are AMAB cis gays telling us we can't call ourselves faggots or transfags even (though we've done so historically) because we aren't AMAB and go "ah yes they are talking about transfems and transfems only actually" and not "oh shit TEHMs are a thing". Why are they obsessed with this idea that we're all gonna call ourselves "TIFs". I hate it here man

Holy shit lol that person was vagueposting abt me. Screenshots of the post underwater (with alt text if you can't read it for whatever reason) + responses under the cut.

I never said this shit was coming from trans women. I make it very clear in everything I post that I am fully blaming cis people for the transandrophobia that I face, and while anyone can contribute to the issue, that doesn't mean that this issue isn't entirely the responsibility of cis people. The person who posted this is projecting onto me because I rarely if ever talk about transfems being shitty on my blog. I talk about cis people. If you're transfem, me calling out cis people doesn't apply to you because you aren't cis.

This is literally gaslighting. I've seen these types of posts before. I've been told this by cis men and some AMAB nonbinary people. I'm not making up a guy to get mad at. That guy exists and is getting mad at me.

Ah yes, the pipeline from calling out the way cis gay men don't treat me with basic respect for being trans to becoming a TERF. This totally exists and makes sense (sarcasm)! Why is it that transmascs can't talk about our issues without being told to shut up because we're speaking over trans women? Oh wait.

Me: talks about an issue that I face due to being a transmasc

Random "TMEs" on Tumblr dot com: "OMG STOP SPEAKING OVER TRANS WOMEN! YOU'RE A female invading the community of real gay men TRANSMISOGYNIST!"

[merpiko]

tva tumblr dashboard simulator (limbo of after s1 but before the big events of s2)

✳️ childoflizardwizards Follow

Can L1130 stop throwing infinity stones at me while I review his mission report

✳️ childoflizardwizards Follow

I told him I was gonna snitch to Mobius and he stopped

#X-5 was right #he literally deflated the moment I told him how much power does Mobius hold over this guy

239 notes

🔆 hunter-a-9 Follow

just learned theres a department called repairs & advancements and its run by just one guy?? so thats how my tempad gets fixed

🐍 ouroboros-rna Follow

hello! (-‿◦☀)

🐌 deskslug Follow

wait. ouroboros? did you write the tva official handbook

🐍 ouroboros-rna Follow

yes :D

🐌 deskslug Follow

OH MY GOD I'M A HUGE FAN CAN YOU SIGN MINE

🐍 ouroboros-rna Follow

sure! just come down to r&a ^_^

4,289 notes

? deactivated23040130

do you ever think about your l̵̝̦̝̻̹̹̿̌̔̓͒̎̃̇͠ͅi̷̙̿̋̃̕f̸̬̘̙̀ͅe̷̦͍͎̮̎̔͑̐̀̿̾̓̎̋ ̵̢̭̺̹̈ó̵̘̫̣̹͖̜̞̫͍͘ǹ̴̠̩̼̩͔̈́̇̀͒̈́̓̽͝ ̶̛͇̒̅͋͛̉̓̄t̶̡̼͎̟̀͌̿͒̕h̴̛͓̣͍̓̊̈́̈́͑e̶̟̩͑̈ ̸̫̱̥̉̅̓̓̚t̷̗̲̲̞̺̞̣͍̮̐̾͊̀̎̚̚i̷̻͑̉̐̊̆̾̽̽̃̚ḿ̷͉̻̩̝̗̉ḛ̴̡̘̣̖͖̮́l̴̡̞͓̪̹̦͚̟̑̂̉̅̏̍͐í̵̘̪́̽̿̿̈́ͅn̴̯̬̫̭̮͉̝͐̒̂̒̽͆͜͝ȩ̶̤͈̪͓̠̝̮̳̔͘

🃏 probablygambledinapastlife Follow

DEACTIVATED?? THIS WAS POSTED 5 SECONDS AGO

#fishy #i thought it wasn't possible for weird fonts besides the tva standard ones #it is now! #MISS MINUTES???

391 notes

📜 judge-gamble Follow

did i just see renslayer open the sims 4 on her tempad

#so much for the rule of not jailbreaking them

30,106 notes

📌 acoolusername Follow

blonde woman stepped through a time door and is currently making me type this as she holds a dagger to my throat, so does anyone know where mobius and the variant are

🐊 alligatorwithacrown-inmourning Follow

probably making out

✏️ grammarwarriorattheoffice Follow

They're in the auto-mat.

📌 acoolusername Follow

thanks you guys suck -syl

📞 notastandout Follow

@alligatorwithacrown-inmourning i was across from op and her, she looked hella pissed when she saw your rb

🐊 alligatorwithacrown-inmourning Follow

they would make a good couple tho

✏️ grammarwarriorattheoffice Follow

Our job is to manage the timeline, not speculate on relationships.

🐊 alligatorwithacrown-inmourning Follow

do you think her and the variant were exes

📞 notastandout Follow

do you ever shut up

#annoying cubicle neighbors

18,223 notes

🐊 alligatorwithacrown-inmourning Follow

📞 notastandout Follow

GO BACK TO WORK

🐊 alligatorwithacrown-inmourning Follow

im pretty sure that the blonde woman was the variant's ex

🚨 casey-prisoner Follow

I'm going to gut you like a fish!

🐊 alligatorwithacrown-inmourning Follow

WHAT WAS THAT FOR

🚨 casey-prisoner Follow

The variant taught me that one! And go back to work, Emilia is going to start lashing out on me if you keep posting :)

📞 notastandout Follow

damn right casey

7,458 notes

🧶 weavingitallup Follow

can someone prune the variant (aka loki (of many), aka L1130, aka mobius's pet) hes going to destroy the tva if he keeps teaching casey these things

#i miss when fish didnt exist yet

5,100 notes

? XXXXX Follow

Hi y'all, this post has received a warning and will be deleted soon! Please carry on.

??? notes

💤 snoozingtilltheendoftime Follow

do you think anyone has ever gotten freaky with this

🏖️ howtoretireatajobyouweremadefor Follow

op what the hell is wrong with you

💤 snoozingtilltheendoftime Follow

i sit at a desk for eons

🍴 thesaladinthecafeteria-isspoiled Follow

miss minutes please do your job and delete this post

4 notes

🔎 mobius-m-mobius Follow

Why is there a poll discussing my relationship with the variant?

📞 notastandout Follow

@alligatorwithacrown-inmourning

🐊 alligatorwithacrown-inmourning Follow

FUCK

🔎 mobius-m-mobius Follow

keep up the great work people

🔎 mobius-m-mobius Follow

He took my TemPad, sorry.

🗡️ sylvie Follow

loki we need to talk the next time you come over

📞 notastandout Follow

wait weren't you the girl that almost killed my coworker

🔎 mobius-m-mobius Follow

i can come over now is it an emergency

🗡️ sylvie Follow

not for me but for you

🔎 mobius-m-mobius Follow

im not coming over

📌 acoolusername Follow

SHE ALMOST KILLED ME

🗡️ sylvie Follow

;)

2,023 notes

[justagalwhowrites]

Holly Jolly - Ch. 2: It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

You and Joel get the girls together for a playdate. A continuation of Holly Jolly, a modern no-outbreak TLOU fic found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: None really!

Length: 4.1k

AO3 | Main Master List | First Chapter | Next Chapter

Sarah, it seemed, had become president of the Sharon fan club. 

She talked about her the whole ride home. She talked about her as Joel got Sarah ready for school the next morning. She talked about her all through dinner. 

“Hey Dad,” she said as he read her a story and tucked her into bed. “Can I play with Sharon tomorrow maybe?” 

Joel sighed. 

“Wouldn’t you rather go play with Mackenzie?” He asked. “Or maybe we can watch a movie, just you and me?” 

“But I like Sharon,” she said, whining a little. “Please?” 

He sighed again. 

“I’ll see what I can do,” he said. “But you have to go to sleep, OK?” 

“OK!” She said quickly, snapping her eyes shut. Joel laughed a little. She opened one eye ever so slightly to make sure Joel was watching and closed it again. 

“Alright, Kiddo,” he laughed again. “Sleep tight.” 

“I’m trying to, Daddy, but you keep talking,” she scrunched her nose. 

“Sorry,” he smiled and kissed her forehead before turning out her lamp. “Goodnight, Baby Girl.” 

“Night, Dad!” 

He closed the door quietly behind him and went to the living room, all but collapsing on the couch and pinching the bridge of his nose. 

Joel really didn’t want to text you. He wasn’t exactly eager to talk to you just after meeting you let alone after you saw his card get declined and decided to take pity on him to buy the fucking picture. And then he was a bit of a dick about it. Something else he wasn’t exactly proud of. 

But he didn’t want to disappoint Sarah more. So he gritted his teeth, found your text from yesterday, and typed out a message. 

Hey, it’s Joel, Sarah’s dad. She’s been talking about Sharon non-stop, would you like to try to get them together this weekend? 

He almost hoped you didn’t respond. If you didn’t, it wouldn’t be Joel’s fault that Sarah didn’t get to see Sharon again. She’d be disappointed but she’d understand and Joel could feel like he’d done his job as her dad. 

But you responded almost immediately. Because of course you did. 

Hey Joel! Sharon’s been talking about Sarah a ton, too! Does tomorrow work? There’s a playground at our apartment complex and I can make lunch. 

Joel gritted his teeth. Were you trying to feed them because you didn’t think he could feed his kid? Or were you just being nice? He sighed. Sarah liked Sharon. He had to at least try to be nice.

Sounds great. What time?

Again, an almost instant reply. 

Noon OK? 

You added your address. 

Sure. See you then. 

Sarah was damn near giddy when he told her the plan the next morning. He’d never seen her run to brush her teeth quite that fast and she immediately went to her toy box to start trying to find things she wanted to bring over. 

“You can pick three things,” Joel said. “And it has to be stuff you want to share, OK?” 

She nodded seriously. Joel put her curls into springy pigtails and let her pick her clothes for the day - Sarah carefully selecting pink pants and a purple shirt with a lot of glitter before insisting on adding the ponytail holders with the pink, plastic balls to her hair. 

Joel stopped at the HEB on the way to your place and picked up some juice boxes and some cookies so he wasn’t showing up empty handed. The check and finally cleared so he pulled out cash to give you, too. There was a bright green wreath on your door and a doormat with a snowman and Joel tried to not cringe as he knocked. 

You answered quickly, smiling like you had been before but not completely covered in Christmas shit this time, at least. 

“Hi,” you said. “It’s good…” 

Sharon careened around the corner and almost fell into Sarah, eyes wide and excited. 

“You’re here!” She said, giddy, before grabbing Sarah’s hand. “Come on, I want to show you this sticker…” 

The two girls tore into the apartment and you laughed a little before stepping to the side and holding your arm out, welcoming Joel in. 

“Come on in!” You laughed a little. “Lunch is almost done. I decided to do something pretty basic, I hope that’s OK…” 

“Sure it’s great,” Joel said, holding out the juice boxes and cookies like an offering. “Thought we could contribute.” 

“Thank you,” you took them and headed inside, Joel trailing behind you. 

“Also, here,” he held out the money. “For the picture.” 

“Oh,” you looked at the cash for a second and then back up at him. “Really, don’t worry about it. Lord knows people have helped me out enough over the years. Just pick up the tab for someone next year or something.” 

He wanted to fight you on it but you were already headed to the kitchen, putting the juice boxes in the fridge. 

While you weren’t covered in Christmas stuff, your house sure as shit was. Paper chains hung from every doorway he could see, a Christmas tree in the corner twinkling with a small pile of gifts below it, a collection of wooden snowmen on your coffee table. It definitely made the four foot tree that was older than Sarah with nothing below it seem lacking. He tried not to resent that, too. 

You pulled something out of the oven as Joel hovered awkwardly in the entry to your small kitchen. 

“Oh, you can have a seat if you want,” you nodded to the breakfast bar. “We’ll give them a few minutes to check out the new stickers. Sharon’s school holiday party was yesterday and the kids all got goodie bags and she traded like everything in hers for as many stickers as she could get her little hands on. I don’t know what the obsession is…” 

“Thanks for havin’ us over,” Joel said, watching as you cut up the bread you’d just pulled out of the oven and he realized that you’d made little sandwiches. “I appreciate it, especially since I wasn’t exactly the friendliest the other day.” 

You looked up at him from the pan and he realized he could see your cleavage down the v-neck of your impossibly soft looking sweater, a sweater that looked like it was made to play off the color of your hair and skin and eyes. 

“Oh, it’s fine,” you waved him off and went for the fridge. “I’m sure you just had a long day. Why else would you be in line to see Santa at 8:30 on a Thursday night?” 

Joel laughed a little. You weren’t wrong.

“Yeah,” he said. “Fair enough. Still. You were being nice and I should’ve been nice back.” 

You shrugged and pulled some cut up vegetables and fruit out of the fridge and put them on the counter. 

“The holidays are hard,” you said. “Really, it’s OK.” 

“Don’t look like they’re hard for you,” he said, looking around. 

Your eyes looked a little wide. 

“Really?” You asked. “Oh, thank God. This is the first Christmas I’ve had a kid in my house, I keep worrying I’m not doing it right…” 

“Looks like you’re doin’ good to me,” Joel said. 

“Thank you,” you said. “Really, that means a lot.” 

Joel looked at a picture on a nearby wall, you with Sharon and a woman who looked a little like you. 

“Is that Sharon’s mom?” He asked, nodding at the photo. You leaned over the breakfast bar to see where he was looking and he resisted the uncomfortable urge to get a better look below your sweater. 

“Yeah,” you nodded with a sigh. “My sister. She was a single mom and she died in February.”

“Shit,” Joel said. “I’m sorry, that’s… that’s hard.” 

“It really is,” you said, eyes a little wide. “Don’t get me wrong, I love Sharon. That kid is my whole world. But I was only ever supposed to be the cool aunt who took her to Europe when she turned 16 and went with her for her first tattoo because her mom would hate it and she wanted support. I’m not supposed to be a mom.” 

“Is it just you?” Joel asked on impulse before he realized that he was prying into the life of a virtual stranger. “Sorry, you don’t have to answer…” 

“It’s fine,” you waved him off. “And yeah, just me. Before wild child in there I wasn’t really interested in much tying me down so I haven’t had a real boyfriend or anything in years. Our parents died a few years ago and we didn’t have any other siblings so it’s just me and Sharon. She’s a great kid, though. So much like her mom, it’s all so worth it. I just hope I’m doing right by her, you know? 

“Her mom would go all out at Christmas,” you continued. “Like that house looked like Buddy the Elf went to town on it every year. Meanwhile, I had like three ornaments I’d gotten as gifts before this year. I always went to her place for the holidays, it seemed silly to decorate mine.” 

“Looks like you’ve got it down already,” Joel said. “Just bought a house a few months ago, haven’t had the chance to really decorate anything yet. I just keep hoping she doesn’t really notice.” 

“Seems like you’re the kind of dad who spends a lot of time with her,” you said. “That’s the important part.” 

You called the girls over for lunch and you and Joel just watched as the two of the chattered about Frozen between bites of carrot sticks and sandwich. 

At one point you made eye contact with Joel when Sharon talked about trading for all the stickers yesterday at school and Joel had to fight not to laugh when he realized that he actually liked you. When he wasn’t in a shit mood and having his card declined by the mall Santa, you were just a kind person who, for some reason, wanted to be kind to him. Even after he’d been rude to you. He hadn’t thought you’d be his kind of person but he liked you.

“So ladies,” you said as plates were cleaned and leftovers put in the fridge. “Playground?” 

Sarah’s face lit up and the two of you got the girls into their jackets before walking over to the park, the kids immediately running for the slide, giggling manically. You sat on a bench and Joel joined you, the two of you silently watching them play for a moment before you glanced over at him. 

“So,” you said. “When you’re not shepherding a five-year-old girl through the mall Santa line, what do you do?” 

“I’m a contractor,” Joel said. “Mostly small to mid-sized jobs, just wrapped up one and I’ve got something small to run through the holidays before the next bigger one starts… You?” 

“I’m a teacher,” you said. “Physics, at the high school down the road.”

Joel smiled a little. 

“I went to that school.” 

“Really?” Your face lit up. “It’s a small world!”

“Or I just never made it far from where I finished school,” Joel said, looking back at the girls. “You like it there?” 

“I guess,” you shrugged. “I’m still getting the hang of it. I never planned to be a teacher, I was an architect before but I needed something that would work better for Sharon schedule wise so I got my teaching certification.” 

Joel frowned. 

“That’s a hell of a sacrifice.” 

You shrugged again. 

“She’s worth it. Besides, the kids are really fun. I have juniors and seniors and they’re so dramatic at that age, it’s like every little thing is the end of the world, and they care so passionately about things. It’s like living as an extra in a soap opera. That’s actually why I was dressed so crazy on Thursday, we had our holiday parties for the a-block classes but one of my kids was having some issues so I just stayed late and the next thing I knew I was late getting Sharon from daycare and everything was a mess… Anyway…” 

“You’re doin’ a good job,” Joel said, watching you, and you looked at him. Actually looked at him. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah,” he said. “Trust me. Been doin’ this on my own since Sarah was four months old. You’re doin’ a good job.” 

The girls played for almost two hours before they wore themselves out and you all walked back to your apartment. 

“So, I hope I’m not overstepping by asking but… where are you at with Christmas shopping?” You asked. Joel just blinked at you for a moment but you kept going. “I’m only asking because there’s a thing some of the other teachers do where we take turns watching each other’s kids so we can run errands or go Christmas shopping and I’m dropping Sharon off tomorrow afternoon. They’re cool if I add another kid to the mix so if you need to get out for a few hours and cross some things off the to do list…” 

You looked worried and Joel, for a moment, wondered just how much of an asshole he’d been to you that you thought doing him a favor would piss him off. 

“That would be great, actually,” he said. “You’re sure they don’t mind?” 

“Not at all,” you smiled. “I’ve covered for some of the others a few times when stuff comes up with their other kids like sports tournaments and things, it’s really no problem. Besides, something tells me that Sarah’s a good kid. Don’t think she’s going to give them much trouble. If you text me your address, I can pick you up around 10 tomorrow morning? Drop the kids?” 

“Uh… sure,” Joel said, surprised that he was actually looking forward to it. “Thanks.” 

When he tucked Sarah in that night, he told her that she was going to see Sharon again the next day. She was giddy, kicking her little feet under her blankets. 

“I really like her, Daddy,” she smiled, that gap in her teeth one of the cutest damn things Joel had ever seen. “And her aunt is really nice.” 

“Yeah,” Joel said, tucking the blankets around her. “Yeah, she is.” 

***

“But can we ask them over to make cookies?” Sharon asked as you French braided her hair. 

“Maybe,” you said. “But it’s the holidays, girlie pop, they might already have plans. It would be very rude to try to monopolize their time.” 

“But I really like Sarah!” She said. “And she said they only do the cut out cookies and I told her about the peanut butter ones I made with you and mom last year and…” 

You still got a little choked up at the thought of your sister. You didn’t know it was going to be her last Christmas at the time but, in hindsight, it was like part of her had known she was going to be gone a few months later. 

It had been a picture perfect Christmas, filled with movie marathons and cookie baking and a Christmas light drive with a thermos of hot cocoa and extra marshmallows. You’d loved every second of it, loved that it felt like the three of you against the world. 

And now it was just you and Sharon and you were trying desperately to fill the massive shoes your sister had left behind while not replacing her. 

“We can make the peanut butter ones again,” you said, swallowing the tears that tightened in your throat. “And it will still be fun if it’s just you and me and not you and me and Joel and Sarah. Right?” 

“Yeah,” she sighed dramatically. 

“I know,” you tied off her braid and kissed the crown of her head. “I’m such a let down.” 

You made a face at her in the mirror and she giggled. 

“Come on,” you said, giving her shoulders a squeeze. “Let’s go get our new friends.” 

You tried to not be nervous about spending at least part of the day with Joel without the girls. You were pretty sure he didn’t like you much. You’d been positive about that at the mall. You knew you tended to come on a little strong and you’d been so flustered when you’d met him that you were sure it was worse than usual. You hadn’t expected him to actually reach out and you certainly weren’t going to text him unless Sharon was particularly eager to see Sarah and you felt like you had to. 

And then he texted you. 

Yesterday had gone better, at least. He was kinder than he’d been before and you’d enjoyed talking with him while the kids played. He was clearly such a dedicated father. Sarah fell off the play structure at one point with a small shriek and he jumped to his feet with a look of sheer panic on his face. But he stayed by the bench, giving her a second to get herself up before Dad rushed in. She did just that, brushing wood chips off her knees before immediately climbing the ladder to the slide again. 

It wasn’t something you were used to seeing from men. Sharon’s father hadn’t been anything like that. He’d stuck around for a few months after he’d proposed to your sister when he knocked her up. But by the time the baby shower rolled around, you could tell he was getting cold feet. Sharon wasn’t even a day old yet when he pulled you aside at the hospital and asked you to tell your sister to leave him off the birth certificate. You didn’t even get a chance to respond before he turned and left and that was the last time you’d seen him. 

Joel, clearly, had done the opposite. 

When you rang the door bell at the small house with peeling paint on the trim, it took almost a minute for Joel to answer the door. 

“Sorry,” he said quickly. “Come in, we’re havin’ a bit of a morning… Sarah didn’t sleep great so she didn’t want to eat breakfast and now we’re behind and…” 

“It’s fine,” you smiled. “We’ve got time.” 

You nudged Sharon in ahead of you and followed behind Joel, his dark curls wet. You sat down in the living room and peered around. There was a small artificial tree in the corner that looked a little threadbare and stockings held by push pins by the fireplace. A chunk of drywall had been cut out near the back door and there were some tools in slightly organized disarray on the floor nearby. 

“What’s that?” Sharon frowned, looking at the exposed pipe. 

“That is the current project,” Joel said, guiding Sarah into the room. “Some stuff in the house doesn’t work quite right…” 

“Hi Sharon!” Sarah waved frantically and Sharon’s face lit up. 

“Hi Sarah!” She waved back. “Sarah, I brought my favorite Barbie! The one with the red hair, it’s in the car!” 

“Cool!” Sarah said. “I asked Santa for a Barbie Dream House for Christmas! When I get it, you’ll have to bring your dolls over and they can be friends, too!” 

You caught a glimpse of Joel’s face at the mention of Barbie Dream House, almost like a wince. 

“You promised to sit still if you got to sit in the living room while I did your hair,” Joel said. “Sooner we do that, sooner you can go see that Barbie, let’s go.” 

Sarah sighed dramatically and flopped on the loveseat. Joel stood behind her and quickly gathered her hair into several small buns while Sarah did her best to hold still while talking animatedly to Sharon. 

It didn’t take long and soon, the four of you were piling in your SUV, Joel putting Sarah’s carseat in the back alongside Sharon’s. 

“I really appreciate this,” he said after you dropped the girls off and headed to the Target in town with the biggest toy selection. “I had no damn clue when I was going to try to get any Christmas shopping done…”

“Tell me about it,” you said. “If it wasn’t for this whole kid watching exchange, I was going to have to take a day off work. I’ve never had to try to do this before, it’s her first Christmas without her mom and I really can’t mess it up, you know?” 

“Can I ask what happened?” Joel asked after a moment. 

“Car accident,” you said. “On her way to get Sharon from daycare in February. Thank God she wasn’t in the car, too, or they’d both be gone…” 

“Jesus,” Joel said. “I’m sorry, that’s… that’s hard. Seems like you’re handling it well, though. Sharon seems to adore ya.” 

You shrugged. 

“I think I’m still just the cool aunt in a lot of ways,” you said. “Part of me thinks she still expects her mom to come back eventually. I don’t know. This isn’t how life was supposed to go for either of us.” 

Joel just nods slowly. 

“I get that. S’not what I expected for mine, either. It’s all worth it for Sarah but if you’d asked me what I was gonna be doing at 27 years old, shopping for a fuckin’ Barbie Dream House wouldn’t be it. Oh shit… crap, sorry. I try not to swear in front of Sarah or people I don’t really know, I don’t…” 

You laughed a little. 

“Don’t worry about it, I’m a big girl. Think I can handle a little adult language.” 

You parked at Target and the two of you headed inside, each grabbing a cart. 

“Did you want to split up or…” Joel asked. 

“Well, if you wouldn’t mind me tagging along?” You asked, a little sheepish. “This is the first Christmas and her birthday was just before her mom died, I’ve never done a big gift day with her. I could use some help. If you’re up for it, I don’t want to impose, it’s totally fine if you just don’t want…” 

“It’s fine,” Joel smiled just a little. “At this point, know a lot more about little girls’ toys than I have any right to. May as well put it to use.” 

The two of you started in the girls’ clothes section before heading on to the toys. Joel went straight for the Barbie aisle and he stopped in front of the Dream House, just staring at the box. You picked a Barbie for Sharon and stood next to him. 

“That thing is huge,” you said after a moment, glancing his way. “No way there’s room for it in my place. No one has room for something that big…” 

You chewed the inside of your cheek a bit, hoping that giving Joel some kind of out wasn’t too awkward. 

He didn’t take it, though. 

“It’s just outta my price range this year,” he sighed. “Keep tryin’ to do the math and I want to get it for her. I want to get everything for her. But shit, I’ve got maybe that much for all of Christmas. Can’t spend that on one toy.” 

You saw him tense his jaw for a moment when you had a thought. 

“What if you made her one?” You asked, looking up at him. He took his eyes off the box for the first time in more than a minute to frown at you. 

“Make a Barbie Dream House,” he said, skeptical. 

“Yeah,” you shrugged. “I mean, it wouldn’t look just like that but… I’m an architect. Or I was. You’re a contractor. I bet, between the two of us, we could come up with something that would cost like $50 in materials. I’ll design it for you and then you can build it and…” 

“You’d do that?” He asked, brows raised. “Just plan out a toy for my kid?” 

“Sure,” you shrugged and smiled. “I mean… it’s Christmas. Besides, it’ll give me a chance to practice at drawing up plans again. I could use the excuse, I miss it.” 

Joel looked at you for a moment and you thought - not for the first time - that he was one of the most beautiful people you’d ever seen. You’d thought it when you first saw him in line for Santa, you’d thought it when he’d showed up at your door the day before, you’d even thought it as you watched him style is daughter’s hair earlier that day. 

You looked at the box for something else to focus on. 

“We can do that,” you said. “Piece of cake.”

Next Chapter

[zorda-27]

Embrace

Summary:

A reader returned from work angry and tried to calm down in a rather destructive way. (All characters are adults)

(This work is also posted on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/58076185 ) Hi, welcome to my first TMNT fanfic! I am a huge Leonardo stan, I love him in every adaptation ^^ Bayverse turtles are probably my favorite ones, like, they are so cute and ugly and their personalities are so good, even our edge lord Leonardo is so perfect for me!!!! But! My mood is kinda bad so I decided to write something more angsty? It's just an angry reader ;3 Hope yall like it!!! (I borrowed the nickname Tiny from Desceros https://archiveofourown.org/users/desceros/pseuds/desceros , you must check their works! Also they are on tumblr https://www.tumblr.com/desceros ) -----------------------------------------------------

- Motherfucker! - an angry, female voice called from the door, their backpack fleeing to the corner, as they stomped to the center. - Fucking piece of shit, I hope his family is cursed - they gritted, passing by the couch and entered the kitchen.

- Nice to see you too Tiny - said Raphael, currently sipping on his protein shake.

- Shut up! Shut the fuck up! I'm so done, I had enough of this hell hole. Why do I need to work? Can’t I just… ugh - they threw their fists in the air, trying to transfer their anger somewhere. It was too much for them. Work makes them super irritated, even if they like it. Mostly it was customers that tried to ruin Y/n mood, but today it was the customer-coworkers combo. All of them were so fucking stupid today it was probably illegal.

- Well, we already told you, If you don’t want to work to take care of your mental health, you can live with us - said Donnie, making himself a coffee. Y/n loved the smell of freshly brewed, perfectly burned beans, but today was different.

- I like working as a barista I just fucking hate people! - they yell, remembering all of the things that made them angry.

- We know, Tiny, you are fucking with our brother - Raph’s words should make them laugh, but instead, Y/n’s body started to slightly shake, their fingers spread in clawed motion, only to turn them into fists a second later.

- Should’ve fucked with you only to slice your dick off - they almost roared and ignored the need for something to eat, turning on their heel and walking off. They need to calm down, or they’ll do something actually stupid. Like challenging the god himself, or running into the wall. Both ideas were good at this moment, but there was something else. As Y/n couldn’t properly calm down, their sick mind turned into a more auto-destructive side. There were enough sharp weapons in the lair to ‘accidentally’ hurt themself. Stupid or not, they needed to blow the steam from their head off.

The dojo was surprisingly empty, with no training Leo or meditating Splinter. They probably drink some tea in the Sensei’s room. Y/n was the one to buy some new floral mix, hoping the two tea lovers would like it. Even If they didn’t, the dojo was empty and Y/n was so grateful for it, they almost decided to stop their stupid plan. Because what if someone notices? Or worse, someone will get worried? Hurting themselves was too stupid, even for them. But there was another way. Y/n closed the door to the dojo and walked into the gym section, with punch bags, weights, and this type of shit. They were too angry to register anything at this moment. The white fury behind their eyes as they walked to the bag, looking at it, dulls everything around them.

Leo cleaned the teapot and the cups after his afternoon tea with Splinter. The new tea was indeed very good, his father wanted to thank their human friend, but Y/n was nowhere to be found.

- If you are lookin for ya girl, they probably fight the god now - said Raph, all innocently, still drinking his shake. Leonardo looked at him, his brows furrowed a little and he looked at Donnie, waiting for the explanation.

- Y/n came back very angry, I think they headed to the dojo - said the purple one, cleaning his eyeglasses.

- Did they say anything? - asked the leader, already worried about his partner.

- Yea, something about snapping my dick off - chuckled Raphael, immediately meeting the angry gaze of his brother. - Well that’s true, go and ask’em - he said, raising his hands in defeat. Leo sighed deeply, turning his head in annoyance. Without a word, Fearless went to the dojo, respectfully knocking on the doors first, but there was no answer. Slowly, he entered the room, looking around. The sliding entrance to the gym section was closed, as probably someone was working out right there. The blue turtle knocked on the wooden surface, but again, there was no answer, so he slid them open.

Leo wasn’t entirely ready for the view that greeted him. Yes, Y/n was training with them from time to time, but not too hard, as their body was much softer than his. Whatever was going on in Y/n’s head was enough to numb the pain of the bleeding knuckles. The blood was dripping from their fists and from the punching bag, that they were trying to hit harder with every move. They didn’t even realize someone was watching them, tears streaming down their face, the huffs and puffs from their chest indicating how tired they were, and the iron smell was sealing them in their own little world.

- Y/n? - Leo’s voice was soft, calm, trying to ground his partner back, to patch their wounds and ask what was wrong, but it wasn’t enough. He repeated their name, touching their arm slowly. Immediately Y/n jumped back, startled by the touch and the presence of someone else. Their butt collided with the hard floor and they turned away, to hide their embarrassment, anger, and frustration.

- Go away - they said, as they realized what was going on. They raise their hand to wipe the sweat off of their forehead, realizing what happened to them.

- What happened? - asked Leo, standing still, trying not to grab his partner and run to the med bay.

- Nothing, fuck off - they answered, but the tears were still there. The leader spotted the bad condition Y/n was in. They were still having their go-to-work hairstyle, their work uniform sticking out from the hoodie and bags under their eyes. So they just came back from work. Something must’ve happened in there, something that made them fall into the spiral of anger, self-doubt, and self-destruction.

- I will if you let me patch you up - he said, pointing at the Y/n’s hands covered in blood.

- Fine - they huff out, still looking away. They stood up, adjusting their hoodie in a grimace, the pain was now present and very, very bad. It stings as hell, their arm hurt to the elbow like they were smashing the bag with their bones. Well, it wasn’t probably far from true. Leo waited until Y/n headed out first and followed them. He sends a text to his brothers to not freak out about the blood in the gym. Obviously, when the leader and his partner were crossing through the main area, there were curious looks from the kitchen.

- What happened to Tiny? - asked Mikey, sniffing the blood.

- Later - Leo answered, hoping it wouldn’t scare Y/n off, as they were still hesitant to the idea of calming down. They even stopped by the entrance of the med bay, but Leo lightly pushed them in. The human was seated at the chair by the counter, where all the medical supplies were. Leo first washed his hands and began to take care of his partner. As he was working on cleaning the wound, Y/n’s face was adored with new tears.

- Hurts - they whimper, but they sit, now scared of being reprimanded. - I- I don’t know why I was punching so hard. I was so angry, this day- this day was so fucking bad, everyone was getting on my nerves, one of the coffee machines broke and some fucking kid run into me, behind the fucking bar. I’m so done, I don’t want to work anymore but I can’t be some fucking unemployed piece of useless shit. I’m already useless - the last part was silent, even for Leo. He let them speak, as he knew how much decompression his love needed. Only when he wrapped Y/n’s hands in clean bondage, he took them in his arms, sitting on the floor.

- Shh, I'm here with you. I know it's hard sometimes, but you will get through this - he said, ignoring the part where Y/n was doubting themselves. If Leo would touch this subject, they would only disagree and argue.

- I'm so tired, the work, the fear of the foot clan attacking you, all the duties and responsibilities, the taxes to pay. It's just. Too much. - they said, their voice finally calming down as they let them sink into Leo's embrace.

- You're managing all of this and you are not alone, baby. I'm here for you - he kissed their temple, tucking their messed hair away.

- I feel like I disappointed you, being so weak, unable to take care of myself - Y/n sniffed, but they slowly came back to the world, grounding themselves back into reality, to their partner.

- You're not, I'm even glad for having you, even in this state, as I can help you, listen to you, and make you feel protected and loved - he said, smiling warmly, carefully taking Y/n hand and kissing their fingers.

- I'm sorry - they sobbed, hiding their face in Leonardo's chest, letting themselves feel like a wounded child.

-It's okay - he said, hugging them tightly. They sat like that for almost an hour when the Leader decided to take Y/n to their shared room. Passing by the living area, worried looks were pointed at the lovers, Raph even stood up.

-The fuck happened there? - he asked, seeing Y/n's hands covered in bandages.

-Later Raphael, let them rest - said Leo and disappeared into the area. He placed his little human on the bed and turned around to take off his gear, to snuggle a couple of moments later with them on the bed. He kissed their temple, hugging them tightly.

-Take a few days off, Donnie can place you on sick leave - he said, adjusting the duvet around Y/n.

-Mhm - they muttered, eyes closed, hand curled on Leo's chest, letting be surrounded by a loving embrace of his love. Maybe one day everything will be alright and they will feel good with themselves, but in this moment they sink into Leonardo's arms, which makes them feel loved and protected from the evil of the world.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Hope yall like it, I know it's not much, but I really tried to slip into tmnt fandom with my writing and my love for our god and savior edge lord Leonardo :'3 Please, leave a comment, let me know if you liked it!! Have a nice day/night!!

[opalescentdreemscape]

Big fucking rant incoming, and yes it's about what happened with codslut recently. Some of this might be poorly worded or unclear on what I mean so if anyone needs or wants clarification I encourage you to ask for it, I don't mind explaining myself further. I just need to get this off my chest. No proofreading, just me being angry.

Edit: ONE proofreading bc i realized i was misgendering Myka (used they/them instead of she/her)

Everyone saying it isn't cool to harass each other but also making post after fucking post about each other with names included so people can still go harass the creators that OP is disagreeing with, and you fuckers that keep going into people's asks and posts to harass them fucking disgust me. I don't care whose side you're on, IT IS NOT FUCKING OKAY TO GO SENDING PEOPLE DEATH THREATS AND HARASS THEM OVER ANYTHING, ESPECIALLY NOT PETTY SHIT LIKE THIS. Because that's exactly what drives people to fucking kill themselves! And no one should be getting told to fucking kill themselves over any of this petty bullshit! "B-b-but racism! Gaz erasure!" I looked down THREE POSTS onto codslut's blog and found a reblog about Gaz and his pretty face, and found another similar post just under that one. Myka was not erasing Gaz or being racist, she was making a post that wasn't even fuckin labeled '141 men' or anything like that specifically, which is USUALLY what the racist posts excluding Gaz are doing. On that fucking note, making tags about "gaz erasure my ass" is also a dick fucking move because that is absolutely a thing that happens bc the CoD fandom is full of fucking racists, just like every other fucking fandom is. Y'all don't fucking hear yourselves when you're making these posts because even if you don't condone your followers harassing people, THEY WILL STILL HARASS THOSE PEOPLE AND YOU WILL HAVE NO WAY OF KNOWING ABOUT IT. You are not fucking stopping the hateful bastards in your following from harassing people just by telling them not to because you have no way to monitor them and actually fucking stop that shit from happening!

And whether or not Myka actually killed herself can be up for debate, sure. People have lied about worse shit before and they'll continue fuckin doing it long after tumblr stops existing. Fine, whatever, I doubt anyone will be able to post concrete enough evidence for even myself to not doubt a little if she actually did it and didn't just log out permanently or st. But being so blatantly uncaring about it and continuing to make callout posts about each other isn't doing anything except causing more fucking drama and harassment. And even if Myka didn't actually kill herself, she's still offline. That's still a creator and a whole ass person that was at the very least bullied off of her own safe space bc people couldn't be fucking bothered to just shut the fuck up and move on. Ooooh they did something potentially racist, SO BLOCK THEM AND MOVE THE FUCK ON. Ooooh, this person doesn't agree with my Holier Than Thou opinion and therefore I need to Teach Them by... shaming and guilting them?? Causing them stress and making them feel bad for not knowing 'better' even though they clearly weren't a troll and hadn't meant to hurt anyone? Gee, that certainly showed them that you're right and not just an asshole! Like come the fuck on.

Maybe I won't delete in the end, but I doubt I'll continue interacting with the CoD fanbase on here after this shit. Might just stop using tumblr altogether, not that I expect that to bother anyone (not a self-pitying statement btw, I'm just noting that I don't have much interaction on this account due to it being new and me not posting much). But just... why can't people just be fucking normal about shit. If you don't like what a creator is doing, it's on you to learn to not let it fuckin bother you so much. Any time I'm truly bothered by someone, I type the message out and delete it, that way the thoughts still get out of my head, but they'll never know about it and I won't be harassing someone I don't even fucking know for something I'll forget about in a day or two. Everyone gets to walk away. It's that fucking simple to not be a fucking douchebag. Plus, y'know, doing some fucking research before making what can be a completely baseless accusation always does wonders for me. Like how y'all didn't fucking give Myka the courtesy of doing before you chased her off the website and potentially into an early fucking grave.

I just fuckin can't with some of y'all. Rant over.

(PS: while I am absolutely mad at some people rn, that doesn't mean I think anyone deserves harassment. This post should make that clear enough. Hence no names except the one that is absolutely necessary for some context.)

[boreal-sea]

It's interesting. I've been engaging in a couple week's long harassment campaign of anti-trans groups here on Tumblr. The whole kit and kaboodle of insistently questioning their ideology and the various excuses they've come up with when it comes to being anti-trans.

In the wake of that, several targets bunkered down. Shutting off anon asks and amping up their consumption of anti-trans rhetoric

But they also amped up consumption of gray-area rhetoric. Rhetoric that *seems* to support trans people, but under certain conditions (ie. transmedicalist rhetoric and "I don't hate trans, I hate the ideology").

One or two targets actually began consuming this type of rhetoric only after my harassment campaign (which notably included asking "why do you hate trans people?")

what are your thoughts on this?

(note: I am still going to continue the campaign, cause several times I see these people gang up on kids, so I don't believe they deserve a break or kindness)

I think you should stop fucking harassing people. Why the fuck did you think I'd be ok with that?

Also, you've literally told me here that you drove SEVERAL PEOPLE to become more radically anti-trans as a direct result of your harassment.

My thoughts are, you are a bad person, and you've made people who might've been convinced to be actual allies into fucking enemies.

Fuck you.

Why do YOU hate trans people so much you're willing to make us new enemies?

[morimakesfanart]

2023 Jan 30 -Lucid Dream: Sinbad Adventure Island

*Traditional art from my dream sketchbook

I had a dream where it was announced that there was going to be a special event involving Sinbad. Many fans -me included- hoped it would explain what actually happens to Sinbad in the end of Magi, and if he stayed dead, or was able to come back like the omake art suggests.

I found out about the event on my phone in the living room. I immediately looked at Lyly and told them, "I have to go. Tumblr knows I'm Simpbad. My reputation is at stake."

To which they deadpanned, "Bro, it's your dream. I'm not going to stop you."

Since the Sinbad event was happening at a convention with other special anime events Lyly invited Sky to join us. Another friend found out so we invited him too. Sky and the other friend piloted a mecha tank in the convention parking lot. It was like Kuromukuro in that the tank transformed into a humanoid mech. Lyly followed me until they decided it wasn't their thing and joined the others.

The Sinbad event turned out to be Sinbad's Adventure Island. It was kinda like the Adventure Island at Disney World in that it was kinda a giant obstacle course and playground. Because it reminded people of the Disney attraction, a lot of parents dropped off their kids at the island. The kids were only allowed on top of the island. Most of what the Adventure Island had to offer was in the caves that referenced the Dungeons. There was an NPC of Sinbad at the entrance. I had a full fan freakout. The SiNPC laughed and explained the rules of the Island, as well as that he would be going through all of the areas in the caves in a set loop so that if anyone got lost they would be able to find their way through. He would be doing set events at different locations that would hint at a secret -like a puzzle for people to figure out so they could find a specific location on the island.

Instead of going through the obstacles and games which was the obvious intent & where more clues would be hidden, I used the hole shaped windows in the walls to chase keep up with SiNPC. (The windows were shaped like that to continue the cave theming of most of the underground section.) Since I played a lot of games growing up, I often have dreams that involve NPC type people. I've found that if I push NPCs out of situations where game logic works, I can get my subconscious to make them an actual person. And I wanted to flirt with a real Sinbad.

SiNPC went into an area that guests were not supposed to be in. When I looked into the room I saw that he turned into his 14 y/o self. Young Sinbad jumped down a hole in the middle of the room. I ran in, and looked down the hole to see he landed in water. I could see the edges of several floors between us. That was definitely 14 y/o Sinbad. What the fuck was going on? I've had dreams where a person appeared multiple times at once, each with a different age, but not them changing age. Not to mention, normally if my age changes, it's early in the dream, or triggered by something from the age I turned into. Something felt off but it wasn't enough for my to change my age and I've never been able to do it consciously -yet; I prepared myself to shut down a flirty teenager just in case. I'm in my 30's and would not flirt with someone more than 5 years different than me. Even so, there was no way I wasn't going to follow him -Sin was 14, so it could be Baal's Dungeon down there and I was going to see it before the dream ended.

I looked back at Lyly who was standing in the doorway, and yelled, "I'm gonna jump in!"

They answered, "I know. I'm not following you though." Then they went to go regroup with the others.

As I jumped down my anxiety rose. It wasn't from fear of getting hurt or like when I can tell a dream is going to become a nightmare. I just felt more hyper vigilant of my surroundings from my PTSD; it felt like the level it was when I was a teenager. I've had a bunch of dreams where I am my past ages and recognized that feeling. I did it! I wasn't sure if that was a good idea though.

I could tell I wasn't as young as Sinbad. I went through hugely traumatic events when I was 12 & 14 and I felt like I did when I had recovered a little from them, so I had to be at least 15 -there were a bunch of traumatic events after that too, but I could feel that the trauma from later events weren't in my brain yet. I checked my hair and glasses and got the confirmation I was looking for. When I was 6 I started growing my bangs out so I could still be pretty -I thought you could only be pretty if you didn't have bangs because none of the pretty people with dark hair on TV and in Movies had bangs. I realized how stupid that was by the time I was 11, but I didn't realize I could have bangs again until I was a teenager. I started cutting my bangs when I was 15. The bangs I had were cut like Edward Eric's (because I didn't have the confidence to get the hime cut like I do now), but my hair isn't pin straight so it laid differently on me. I was definitely either 15 or 16 if this was the hair cut I had.

Even though this meant I was in an acceptable age range to flirt with Sinbad again, it also meant I was back to having a stronger fight response to flirting and teasing. ((I still have it internally, but thanks to emotional control I don't turn into a tsundere outside of dreams.)) My clothes changed with my age to better match the setting which meant this wasn't an event anymore; and Sinbad definitely wouldn't be an NPC anymore either. That meant that his flirting wasn't going to be some scripted line from an AI... It was going to be personalized.

When I got out of the water, I noticed that this area matched the Dungeons even more than the higher floors, but it didn't seem to be any specific Dungeon. I doubted there would be monsters based on how the dream felt. There would probably still be riddles and puzzles like in the Dungeons in the series. That renewed my excitement and I ran off to find where Sinbad went.

There were a bunch of broken columns that drew my attention. Since they were the only thing of interest, I decided to follow the path they were on. As I was running past them someone stepped out from behind one of the pillars and I ran into their raised hand -stopping me. Sinbad pulled back his hand from my forehead. "You really jumped down after me." He sounded amused. Just as my brain caught up to what happened, Sinbad gave me a playful smile. "That was really dangerous, you know?"

Sure, it was a 3 story drop, but this place was designed for fun and it was a dream. I felt my face heating up. I was self conscious from him talking to me, and smiling at me, and just as insulted by his words that implied I was incapable. "If it's so dangerous why did you jump?!"

He laughed, and turned around to start walking more through the Dungeon, "This is going to be fun."

"You're not going to apologize for hitting my forehead?!" He just kept walking while I followed behind him and continued complaining. And then my alarm woke me up.

((Wasn't sure if I was going to post this today or wait a bit longer to spread things out more, but I feel like I can't work on the next thing while I'm still sitting on this. I've had it ready to post for 6 months after all, and then just kinda didn't do it))

[divorceecheesecake]

Anyway. Since tumblr FUCKING ATE THEM. I was saying.

I can’t see chil bottoming he just doesn’t seem the type. Because like 1. Laios is massive compared to him and he wants to be able to sit the next day and 2. He HATES not being in control of the situation

Anyway my hc is that laios loves being ordered around like he is all for a structured routine. He lives for it. He’s the king of the golden nation and he’s sleeping at the end of his own bed because chilchuck told him to. He is wearing a leash because a guy half his size said so.

I also think laios loves getting marked up and he’s so sad chil won’t be touch with him!!! Like cmon he’s not made of glass but chil is like “I think kabru would murder me in my sleep if I so much as left a hickey on you. He would sense it.”

tumblr didn't eat them I did

Personally, I'm an advocate for them both of them switching around because um size difference and I just think laios would be like, the most annoying service top like "is this good? you okay to keep going?" and like, SHUT UP KEEP GOING

I totally agree with him liking being ordered around and having a routine? like the next logical step from waking up at the same time every day is being collared and put on a leash. ALSO, IF CHIL MARKS UP LAIOS AT ALL, ITS PROBABLY OUT OF RETALIATION BECAUSE THAT STUPID DOG WONT QUIT BITING HIM AND MAYBE THIS WILL GET HIM TO STOP (spoiler alert it wont)

i also fucking love all of the hc's of kabru losing his mind over this relationship that have been slowly spreading around (im TECHNICALLY an anime only but i know that laios ends up king w kabru as his advisor)

[gay-sin]

should i be online if i'm stupid?

i hate being 22 and so stupid. i'm smarter than i've ever been but that's not saying much. i keep thinking that i'll get older and stop being stupid but then i just learn new ways that i'm stupid. i talk to old people looking for answers but they don't even have them! they are stupid too! fuck! i always seem to forget that everyone is so stupid even if they are incredibly old or incredibly smart. i want to know all of the things and i want to know them right now!! i know some things but not all the things and my stupidity often feels like a liability. sometimes, when i'm smart, my stupidity feels like a big open space for me to run around and grow into. but because i'm 22 and mostly thinking stupid thoughts and doing stupid things, i mostly think of my stupidity in stupid ways. i'm constantly afraid of being wrong. this is stupid because i'm wrong every day. sometimes i dig myself into stupid little holes because i'm so afraid of being perceived as stupid and that's... quite stupid. i just keep talking or typing until i have reassured myself enough times that what I'm saying isn't stupid. but then i live a little longer and prove myself wrong again. i've never been fully right about anything because there's always another way to see things, always another dimension i haven't yet considered. so yes. i'm increasingly terrified of being online. i'm afraid of exposing my big fat stupid brain to whoever is stupid enough to pay attention to it. but i'm beginning to reconsider. maybe we shouldn't all just shut up and go into our rooms, finish becoming ourselves, and only come out once we have something to say that's not stupid. because it will always be at least a little bit stupid. i don't have anything to add that's all that new or all that smart and i'm still not sure if it makes sense to post things online when I don't know who i'm talking to or what i'm talking about. but whatever.

i've been mostly off of social media for about half of a year. it's been so good for me because i would often go online to get some sort of recognition that i really can only get by looking at myself in the mirror and telling myself that i love myself and really meaning it. i'm still working on doing that so i'll probably be working on that forever. maybe i shouldn't abstain from the world until i'm all patched up. because as soon as i put a bandaid on my last papercut, i burn my hand on the hot pan because i'm stupid and forgot to use an oven mit. maybe tumblr is a better social media than instagram or tiktok or twitter or maybe they're all equally stupid shouts into a void. either way, i thought maybe i'd try again. i needed a new way to do it that didn't feel like the stupid old way. my friend meera told me to make a tumblr and here i am trying it and overthinking it and saying too much so that i can convince myself that this idea is not stupid. whatever. i'm actually quite certain that it's at least a little bit stupid of an idea and that's okay because i reserve the right to be stupid and wrong and grow and be better next time. so i'll be here, running around in my stupidity doing cartwheels, dancing around, putting on a stupid little show.

i might delete this blog soon or maybe not. it's a new experiment for me. if you're out there in the void, i hope you'll like my stupid little blog!!! <3

[john-barkston]

Me venting about life:

you know i don't consider myself queer even tho I am Aro / Ace and can find either gender attractive. I have short "boy" hair because I think it finally makes me look like /me/. I am comfortable in my body. I don't believe in marriage or having kids. I don't believe in god. I think religion (yes all of them) is a poison. It took me until my late 20s to realize this about myself. And ever since I've never felt like I couldn't be this person except I am heavily reminded every time I talk to my mom, that she wouldn't like who I am....or at least who I am would devastate her to the point of physical heartbreak.

There's a loooot of family drama going on in the background right now and long story short, im the only person my mom feels comfortable unloading to. which is fine. my dad is dead. her parents are dead. her siblings are insane so not a lot of options, oh, problem, shes also mega christian and she still thinks (or at least hasn't told me otherwise) I am also some what christian. She weeps to me, tells me she doesn't think she can go on like this, how she is hurt by my brother's actions. And I get it. It sucks. It seems like her own son doesn't want to be around her / wants to keep the grand kids from her. There's a lot to unpack about his marriage but we won't go into that either. but I can only offer her an ear. I cannot give advice. The advice I would give would be too harsh, or in the case of GO TO A FUCKING THERAPIST, too secular or something. She never really believed in therapy even though she desperately needs one. (There is A LOT more to this i am not sharing but i promise i am not trying to make this about myself lol even tho it ends up about me T v T ah)

anyway......drama aside She continues the conversation and makes a silly little comment about a conversation she had with my childhood bestfriend's mom about why neither of us are married. (its a joke about how we were scarred for life from a heinous and impromptu "sex ed" bible study thing at an event we went to. We were in 6th grade and they had the whole "you're gonna die and go to hell and get stds and here's some nasty pictures on a fucking projection screen." She tells me how mad I was about it, and how it upset my friend so much. And how they can laugh about it now but obviously it was upsetting and uncalled for. -the did not know it was happening btw. gotta love church events just doing whatever they want in the name of god) This may be a joke, but I know she thinks something wrong must have happened for me to not be married and have kids. She blames her bad relationship with my dad. She blames silly things like this. She blames ....well idk what else, but she's never stopped to consider I don't want that life, because hmmm I just don't!

ugh anyway I lost my steam....point is, I can never be true to my mom. She is way too emotionally unstable for me to come out with it. I want to. I want to be me. I see my friends getting to be themselves around their parents, talking about queer shit, just being human, but i'm always keeping my mouth shut or dodging conversations with my mom, and of course I will always be there for her because I love her but, man, it's rough. I am so sorry for everyone who has ever had to keep their true selves from their family. AND I DON"T EVEN HAVE IT BAD LOL. I am the most vanilla queer you can be.....but man even then....

thank you for coming to my ted talk. it is very lame that this tumblr post is my vent blog L O L but oh well. typing it out helped and publishing it makes it go out into the void and away from me so yeah.....= v = bye.

[theglizzardwizard]

I'm musing about the Andy situation and what it means to be an internet porn commission writer/artist for seven years tomorrow.

Ok if y'all can't look at this blog/the way I speak/my fics and figure out my main that's not something I'm going to clear up for you. I'd rather not have my wizard101 nostalgia blog linked to my patreon, a place I regularly post torture porn art. On the flip side of this, threatening to "out" me for hating furries to my furry commissioners doesn't mean much because I have always worn my distaste plain. I've outright told customers that I hated filling their order and they come back to pay me again anyway. I post jokes about it all the time. I'll draw furry porn for the same reason a janitor will wipe down a menstrual waste box in a public bathroom. It's work, I work I get money.

Why would these people come back, knowing that I don't like the stuff I make for them specifically? Excellent question. I don't know and I don't care to ask. Maybe those repeat customers think that giving me hundreds of dollars for something I was already going to do is an own. Maybe my attitude is more common than I assume, because customer service wears on the nicest people. Maybe they can tell that I've had to deal with a lot of broke perverts who want free shit, and am just happy to take the disposable income of perverts who will pay half upfront.

Doesn't matter. Antipsychotics for the uninsured are wildly expensive, food prices are going up, and my car always needs something fixed. My cousin calls to ask for money once a month, she has a kid now. I like foreign cigarettes and coffee with fancy creamer. So furry porn will continue to be a thing I make at the request of others. For as long as it continues to be profitable for me.

So if I can write and draw and keep myself afloat, why not quit my day job? Because I love it. I love my job and I don't want to quit, I don't want to stop going out and meeting new people every day. I like that having an event based job help me make friends as an adult. It doesn't pay much, but it's enough to cover my half of rent and groceries, everything else is pervert money.

Conversely, I don't love doing customer service with obstinate Tumblr users. Or writing a/b/o or staying up all night to finish art I can barely stand looking at. It's all work, but only one of my jobs has positives outside the pay.

I'm ambivalent about those parts of my work. I'm glad to have the money, but I could do without having to regularly interact with people who don't go outside enough. The sort of person who would call me ableist for mocking shut-ins then compare disliking furries (carpet samples. End of thought) to ableism, as if being autistic is on par with drawing diaper fetish art.

That's been a big point of contention between me a former friends online. I log on I draw a picture of Lola bunny in bondage for too much money and I log off. I don't go around preaching about mental health and politics from my porn blog. I make fun of people who do because it's important to me that they know, it's fucking stupid to post that type of shit on a porn blog, nobody looks good. Bidoofs law still applies, even when your politics aren't the worst imaginable.

Man I'm. Tired. But at least I won't have to do another commission until after January

[onegayastronaut]

Quiet Place (Kate Bishop x R NSFW Fic)

Hey y'all so this is a repost from earlier because Tumblr was acting wack with the tags

Word count: 2k

It all began with you holding more books than necessary while not looking where you were going. There had been multiple instances where you had walked into people and knocked them over, but it was the first time you had walked into someone so attractive. You were too busy bent over and apologizing to notice at first, but as soon as you looked up, you wished you had kept your mouth shut. This dark-haired girl was the prettiest girl you have ever seen, and she was looking at you with an amused expression.

“You shouldn’t be apologizing so much, you know.”

“Okay, sorry –“, you stopped yourself just in time as you mumbled.

“My name is Kate, what’s yours?”

That was over six months ago, and it was a wild ride to say the least. Even though Kate was extremely busy between classes and sports, she always made time to cuddle with you and make sure you were doing good. On top of all that, she seemed to be horny all the time. Not that you minded at all, but sometimes her urge to top you came at the most inconvenient times.

“Babe, babe, sit on my lap.” Kate’s hand went further up your leg as she tried to get your attention. One look at her and you knew immediately what she wanted.

You stared at her before giggling. “Babe… we’re in public,” You reply with a bit of embarrassment in your voice, your eyes looking for anyone around. There really wasn’t anyone in your corner of the library, but that didn’t make you feel any safer.

“There’s no one here to stop us,” she replies softly and then gives you the look. Her voice lowered just the right amount to have heat pool in between your legs, and you couldn’t help but do as you’re told. When you moved to sit on her lap, you felt the outline of a new toy in her pants. You knew she was usually packing whenever you hung out, but today it seemed like she wanted to go the extra mile.

After picking you up and guiding you to a relatively sheltered corner of the library, she put you down on the soft carpet. “Unzip me, and we’ll see how much more fun you can handle.” Shaky hands find her zipper and pull her out of her jeans. Moaning when you see the toy, she’s never fucked you with this toy, ever. The toy was so thick you couldn’t even wrap your hand around it, and you couldn’t imagine how much this would stretch you out.

However, you were determined to at least try, and you wrap your hand around the toy, lightly stroking it. You could feel yourself clench when you see Kate’s hips jerk, this toy was double-ended, any type of movement hit her g-spot. This encouraged you to work harder on her and got on your knees. You tilt your head to the side and lick the side of the strap, wetting the toy as much as possible so your hands could glide easily. Grabbing the base of the silicone, flattening your tongue against the tip, wrapping your lips around the tip. You knew how much Kate loved the view from this angle, and you could sense she was close. “Just like that, little one. Good job.” Kate started playing with your hair as you felt her hips stutter.

You look up at Kate with wide eyes, her hand wrapped around the strap that’s still wet with your spit. Staring at the thick toy, the girth made you gulp in fear but clench your legs together in arousal. The thought of riding her in the middle of the library in the middle of the day where anyone can walk past made you even wetter than before.

Kate laid her back against and waited for you to get up and onto her lap. The warm feeling in your tummy grew as you stood on your knees to straddle her. Her eyes were dark with lust for you, her dark brown hair was a little messy and caused you to giggle softly. The moment was soft, you on top of her getting ready to ride her but get distracted by the vulnerable state she’s in. You knew how strong she was, but you were in control for the moment. A cheery smile on her lips, bright hazel eyes staring at you, her eyes trailing down your face as her thumbs rubbed tiny circles on your hips.

“What’s going on?”

“I love you.” Your bottom lip is stuck between your teeth with a big smile on your face, fingers threading through her hair. Playing with her hair made you feel carefree and safe. The sweetness of being with her made you feel soft, knowing that she’d take care of you no matter what.

“Babe,” she calls softly, her eyes still filled with lust as she slides her hands over your hips and carefully reaches for your face, putting her left hand up to caress your cheek, her other hand pressing onto your lower back encouraging you to rock your hips against the toy.

“Daddy,” you whine softly, moving your hips until you feel the thick, wet toy touch your sensitive center. Your hands that were once lost in her hair were now latching onto the back of her neck, giving her the perfect view of you rolling your hips against her.

“That’s it, puppy. Keep going.” her voice is strained and that’s when you remember that she also gained pleasure from your movements.

Your eyes squeeze shut as you glide against the toy and feel the toy bump against your clit, making you shiver. Trembling when you feel Kate’s gentle hands reaching for your breasts, circling your nipples lightly. You wanted to kiss the smirk off her face when your nipples visibly hardened with her touch. Your breasts were easy to access since you had forgotten to put your bra on in your rush to meet Kate at the library.

Sinking down onto the silicone, your hands were now steadying yourself against the wall, reaching just above Kate’s shoulder. Crying out when you feel yourself get passed the tip, the toy was gradually thicker, making your breath become erratic.

“Keep going.” Kate’s commanding tone made you wetter than you’ve ever been before, and you continued sliding down. You were throbbing uncontrollably around her, but that only made Kate more encouraged. The stretch was a bit painful and a little uncomfortable at first but slowly eased into pleasure. Stilling your hips, you try adjusting to the size, but you don’t get too much time before she took over.

You hiss in pleasure when you felt Kate force her hips upward and push your hips down to meet hers. The toy is buried inside of you, the hot sting making you throb.

“Oh, baby girl, you look so pretty like this.” Her thumb wipes your tears before licking her thumb. The salty taste of your tears meets her tongue and she moans softly. “I’m so happy seeing you like this for me.” Both the praise and the sight of your daddy go straight to your center, making you roll your hips and whimpering when you finally move. It didn’t take long for you to soak the toy, which makes it easier to ride her. You sniffle quietly before moaning softly before throwing your head back, the sight of you like this making Kate smile, her eyes drinking up the sight on top of her.

“Such a good girl, riding me so good.” Her words are filthy and suddenly you became shy. The control of it all, the roll of your hips, the hands that keep you steady, and the soft moans that fall past your lips all leave you breathless. You’d never had this much control. Sure, you’ve had sex on top of her in this position, but she never let you control the pace.

“Daddy, it feels so good,” you moan, really bouncing on the silicone cock, already adjusted to the size. You were filled to the brim, but it still wasn’t enough. Horny and frustrated, furrowed eyebrows and a small frown on your face was ‘cute’. Kate was enjoying the sight in front of her meanwhile you were chasing your orgasm.

“Tell me what you want,” She read your movements like you were her favorite book. She knew you needed more, she knew enough about you that if she let you fuck yourself with the biggest toy she owned, it still wouldn’t be enough. You wanted her touch. The feeling of her hands roaming your body, tugging your nipples until you cried, rubbing your clit until you couldn’t handle it anymore, shoving her fingers inside your mouth, her tongue licking your tears, kissing your fingertips.

“Kate, touch me,” you whine, the whiney little side of you was coming out to play.

“Where are your manners?” she asks teasingly. She smirked at the way you tried held back the small pout that was threatening to make its way to your pretty face. She smirks before giving you what you want, her left hand holding your hip while the other slides underneath your dress. The heat between your legs becomes a scorching flame as her fingertips brush against your flexing thighs, and you whimpered when you feel her index finger circle your clit. The touch is calm as you continue to bounce on her cock for dear life. You wanted more. The frustration was starting to get to you.

“Kate, please. I’ve been so good.” Tears blind your vision, everything feeling so surreal but still not enough. You could feel yourself slowly drop. Your head was fuzzy, your words were slurred and your moans became whinier.

Your eyes widen when you feel her rub your clit, firm circles matching your pace, as her other hand wipes the new tears streaming down your face. Her wet thumb makes its way inside your mouth. Sucking her thumb into your mouth, both of your hands wrap around her wrist, keeping her thumb from leaving your mouth and keeping you steady on top of her.

The thick toy brushing against all your sweet spots inside you, her thumb in your mouth, her fingers rubbing your sensitive clit, along with her loving stare was beginning to become too much. The throb between your legs was unmistakable, thighs wet with your slick, no doubt ruining Kate’s pants. Neither of you cared, all that mattered now was making you feel good.

“Come for me,” the soft demand is all you needed to push yourself over the edge.

The fuzzy feeling in your mind only grows as you feel yourself let go. Your orgasm stretches out due to Kate’s finger rubbing your clit, her thumb slipping out of your mouth, groaning in dismay but sighing out in pleasure when you feel her roll your nipples between her fingers, the sensitive buds sending waves of pleasure to your core. Short gasps of breath begin to fill the space around you, your juices soaking the toy that’s still inside you and wetting the front part of her pants. Your thighs were soaked and your heart rate was going 60 miles per hour. You suddenly cry out when you feel Kate move her hips slightly causing the toy to move inside you. A few seconds later, you heard Kate’s soft moans as she came too from the sight you on top of her like this.

“Did you want to pack up and get ready to go home?” Kate’s soft hands were now in your hair, pushing loose strands behind your ear, her voice as soft as an angel. You could have listened to her talk for hours, have her read one of your textbooks as she threaded her fingers through your hair –

“Baby?” She interrupted your pleasant thoughts, sending you back to the present.

“Yeah, let’s go home.”

“Where we can pick up where we left off.” Her words made you groan. Sometimes you wondered if dating a horny puppy would one day wear you out too much.