#tumblr stop getting rid of my tags challenge

[pkmn-bw-defender]

Ash meeting Iris!!! 🙌💗 I love them so much

[cinnamorollcrybaby]

Can you pretty please write something like the Nanami college au again?? It was so funnn <33 love your work!

Shibari Master

Tags: dom!nanami x fem!reader, college au, nsfw, mdni, bdsm relationship, fluff, mutual pining, slight angst, happy ending don't worry.

Synopsis: Nanami is the stoic, silent, strong type. He excels in each class he’s put in. He’s never one to cause trouble, but… there have been whispers around the university. “I hear he likes to tie girls up for fun…” “My friend says he’s a freak in bed and left marks all over her.” “Someone told me he has ropes in his dorm.” It seems like Kento has a secret.

An: You guys really seem to love the college au Nanami 😭 I don’t mind. I actually really love writing him. This isn't necessarily a sequel or part two, but I hope this is something that you were hoping for. This is another long one. Strap in.

You were the type of person who really kept to themselves while in college. So many people told you that you would meet some lifelong friends and studying in university, but you didn’t really see the point. Everyone went their separate ways after college. There was no point in befriending anyone in there.

Well, Shoko’s the exception. She’s like a sickness that you just can’t fully get rid of. No matter how closed off you were, she just continued to tease and banter with you. You two often found yourselves sitting next to each other in class or in the dining hall.

Sure, you two had fun being absolute haters together. “Oh my god, yn. Look at what he’s wearing.” Shoko would whisper into your ear, referring to the guy in the hentai face hoodie that no man who gets pussy wears.

Shoko had friends. She was close with all sorts of people: the athletes, the quiet ones, anime nerds, trouble makers, everyone. She didn’t discriminate, which means she had a lot of gossip on everyone.

You were sat next to her in the dining hall as you leisurely munched on an apple. She was yapping about some people in drama club that got caught fucking in the auditorium, “a total orgy” was how she described it.

Your mind was elsewhere though. While you weren’t keen on making friends, you weren’t immune to crushes though. A man like Nanami was right up your alley. He was quiet, respectful, the hottest man you’ve ever seen and smart.

“Girl.” Shoko nudges your arm and furrows her eyebrows at you when you’re not giving her all your attention. “You are not ogling over Kento fucking Nanami right now, are you?” Goddamn her sense of social cues. You could get nothing over her.

“And if I am?” You ask, taking another bite from your apple before turning to face her with an almost challenging look.

“My little yn is finally coming out of her shell.” Shoko grinned up at you. She could never resist picking on you a little bit. “No, but seriously, I’ve heard some crazy things about him.”

“Like what?” You immediately ask with a puzzled expression. What kind of crazy things would Nanami get up to? He seems so strait laced. It’s hard to imagine him doing anything ‘crazy’.

“I heard he likes to tie up girls for fun.”

Oh shit.

Now, as a person who had unrestricted internet access as a kid and a recovering tumblr user, you knew what BDSM was. In fact, you were pretty well acquainted with the concept. Even as it was now more widely accepted after the movie Fifty Shades of Grey (which in your opinion, missed the mark on portraying a healthy BDSM relationship), BDSM still felt a little taboo. It was like a forbidden fruit to you, one that you thought about often.

“So? A man has a kink. Be so for real right now.” You respond as you glance back over at Nanami.

“No babes, it’s not just a kink. Like… I’ve heard that he didn’t touch them like that..”

“Oh…” You almost want to fucking pout upon hearing that.

“Oh yn, you freak.” Shoko laughs as she pokes your cheek. “You totally want him to tie you up.”

“I mean…” You give her a look which makes her laugh even harder.

“Stop.” She says while still laughing. “I heard it something called like shibari…”

*** *** ***

That night instead of researching for your upcoming term paper, you spent all night on the Shibari Reddit and reading up on different forums.

It was nearly three in the morning. Your fingers are scrolling on some sort of shibari blog, and you can’t help but feel almost jealous of these people. It was like an art and BDSM activity all in one. You wanted to do that.

You wanted Nanami to do that to you.

Your eyes are nearly half-lidded when you come across another blog. It was so late. You knew you should probably get some rest, but one more blog couldn’t hurt.

The knots were beautiful and intricate on the model’s skin. There was one photo where large veiny hands were cupping her cheeks as she was tied up. Damn. The master had nice hands.

You learned quickly that the ones who were being tied were called models, and the one who were doing the tying were called masters.

The next photo on the blog was even more erotic than the last. Another model tied up in pretty pink rope, and a tie was being held around her neck.

You’ve seen that tie before. It was unmistakable.

The only man who wears a yellow and black tie like that was Kento Nanami.

Heart pounding, you check the caption:

Knots done by KN

This was too much to be a coincidence, right?

You keep scrolling until you come across a text post instead of a picture.

Looking for models in the Kyoto area. College shibari master looking to teach.

Holy fuck. This had to be fate, right? You felt your stomach swirling with butterflies as you hovered over the message button. What are the odds that this isn’t Nanami?

Yn: Hi.. I saw where you were looking for models to teach.. I was wondering if I could get some info on that.. Sorry to bother you so late!!

Gods. You sounded like an absolute dork. You wanted to delete the message, but it was likely that the master already received it. What had you done?

*** *** ***

You could barely sleep last night, plagued with dreams of ropes and Nanami using his tie on your wrists or neck. You were lucky that you didn’t have a morning class today.

Drowsily sitting up, you reluctantly checked your phone. It was nearly noon since you had stayed up so late. Scrolling through your notifications, your heart nearly stopped when you saw a message from that blog last night.

KN: No need to apologize. Yes, I am looking to teach a new model. What kind of information would you like?

Ohmygod. Ohmygod. Ohmygod.

Yn: Thanks for getting back to me!! I was kinda wondering if you charge anything for a session..?

KN: No, I don’t charge anything. I go through a pretty extensive recruiting process with my models though.

Yn: What might that include..?

KN: First, I like to get to know them on a deeper level than just first name basis. I want to know what kind of understanding they have about shibari.

KN: Then, I request that the model provides me with some kind of proof that they’re in the right medical condition for shibari. It is a demanding art that does include some physical aspects. I want to know what your body can handle.

KN: After that, I try out practice knots on the model, making sure they’re absolutely comfortable every step of the way. I think of this as a trial run.

KN: Granted all goes well, I then draft up a beneficial agreement between the both of us.

Oh. This was so much more than you could’ve bargained for. You didn’t even expect for him to respond back, but he was talking about an agreement??

If this was Nanami, then you could feel yourself falling even more hopelessly for him. If this wasn’t Nanami, you were definitely reluctant to move forward.

Yn: An agreement..?

KN: Don’t let that word discourage you. I’m a man of rules and principles, that’s all. We’ll talk more if we get there.

If.

That word felt like a bee sting right in the gut. As delusional as it may sound, it felt like he was already discounting you without completely being rude.

You didn’t even know what you were thinking when you messaged this person on the internet. You weren’t even sure it was Nanami. The idea of shibari was appealing, tempting even, but you really didn’t want to just experience it with any type of person.

A message on your phone grabs your attention.

KN: May I take you out to coffee sometime, yn?

This was probably wrong, but it felt right. Something was pulling you to keep texting him.

Yn: I don’t normally meet strangers from the internet so quickly.

KN: Oh? We’re strangers? I would’ve at least considered us to be acquaintances.

Your eyes widen as you stare down at your phone. This might actually be Kento Nanami messaging you, and he offered to take you out to coffee. You were now aware of how hard your heart was pounding in your chest.

Yn: Is this Kento Nanami..?

KN: It is. Was it not obvious?

Yn: It definitely was. I think I was just nervous and didn’t want to get my hopes up.

KN: Get your hopes up? You were hoping for it to be me?

Yn: Is it weird if I was..?

KN: I would consider it to be cute rather than weird.

KN: About that coffee..?

*** *** ***

A pile of discarded clothes lay on your bed as you were trying on another outfit while Shoko watched you. You had hated everything you have tried on so far.

“What’s so great about Nanami anyways?” Shoko asks as she opens up your window and lights up a cigarette. You’ve begged her to stop smoking, but she adamantly refuses, stating “at least I’ll die happy”.

“He’s just… kind of mysterious, is he not?” You ask as you’re looking at yourself in a full length mirror. You were to meet him in about thirty minutes at a local coffee shop near the campus.

Your body is being hugged by mocha brown shirt and a brown plaid pleated skirt.

“Jesus, yn. Is he getting to know you or your ass?” Shoko jokes as she grins up at you with her cigarette tucked between her lips.

“Both if I’m lucky.” You wink at your friend who rolls her eyes playfully at you.

“And you’re one hundred percent sure you’re not into girls? What does Nanami have that I don’t?” Shoko’s no stranger to flirting with you. It was just her personality type. Though, if you were into girls, Shoko would definitely be your type.

“I’m sorry. When did you grow a dick?”

“You’re saying you wouldn’t suck my strap?” She playfully pouts and gives you a look that almost makes your heart skip a beat.

“For you, Sho? I just might.” You continue to banter with her as you grab your purse.

“You better go before I steal Nanami’s woman.” She looks away from you as she snuffs her cigarette against the outside brick.

“I’m not his woman.” You retort as you head towards the door.

“Yeah, yeah, I better be your maid of honor. I wanna wear a tux though.”

You laugh at your friend’s boldness and decide to hurry down to the coffee shop, not wanting to keep Nanami waiting. He seems like the type of guy to value punctuality.

As you arrive to the local shop, you marvel at how nice the shop looks. The walls are painted with a soft eggshell white, and it has accents of dark oak wood and black decorations. It’s decorated high and low with botanical plants

Nanami was sitting in the corner of the shop in a more private area of the shop. He seemed to already be sipping on a coffee of sorts. You feel your heart start to pound at the sight of him. He was wearing a black button-up shirt that hugged his muscular arms so deliciously thanks to his harness that he was also wearing. His beige slacks also fit his frame nicely. You might dare say, Nanami has a nice ass.

His hazel eyes lifted up from a book he was reading, and his lips so subtly quirked up into a smile as soon as he caught a glance of you. He stood up from his seat and pulled your chair out for you like the gentleman he was.

“You look lovely.” His deep voice made your head spin for a moment. Sure, you had heard him during class, but he sounded much more relaxed and less robotic.

“As do you.” You respond before realizing your blunder. “I mean, you look handsome-“ The words quickly fall from your mouth.

“Oh? I'm not lovely?" He asks, an edge a playfulness in his tone. You didn't know he had the capabilities for that.

"I- No- I meant. You are?"

"Relax. I don't bite." He takes a small sip from his coffee before lazily looking back up at you. "Unless you ask me to."

Heat floods your face, and you immediately cross your legs together, trying not to show your obvious likeness to that idea. "Good to know." You finally manage to say after a moment.

He gives you a kind, warm smile in response. "Do you want to order a coffee? Then, we can get to know each other more?" He asks in a reassuring tone. His presence is nerve racking, but he also provides almost a sense of comfort. He has things under control, and you just have to follow along.

"Sure." You agree, and he walks with you up to the counter to order a drink.

"Can I get a vanilla latte please?" You ask, and the barista types in your order before rambling off your total. You reach into your purse to retrieve your credit card, but Nanami subtly nudges you while handing the barista his card.

"I could've gotten that..." You quietly state, feeling guilty that he paid for you. Nanami shakes his head with a small scoff of amusement.

"I invited you out, yn. I wouldn't expect for someone to pay for something that I invited them out to." Nanami assures you before the barista hands you your latte. You make the mental note to get him back at a later date.

The both of you settle back in at your table.

"So, how did you find my blog?" He asks with a small, curious smile on his face.

"Well..." You start off, but your voice trails off. Not fancying the idea of telling him that you and Shoko had gossiped about him, you decide to bend the truth just a bit. "I've always been intrigued by the idea of BDSM, and I just kinda fell down a rabbit hole of shibari, which led me to your page."

"Oh really? What intrigued you the most about BDSM?" He cocks an eyebrow up at you, his smile never fading.

"Trust, mostly." You respond sheepishly.

Nanami couldn't have came up with a better answer himself. He shifted his position a bit, and he leaned into the table ever so slightly. "Trust... Is that what excites you?"

You feel your heart flutter in your chest as you gaze into his hazel eyes. "Yeah... being able to follow in someone's lead because I trust they're sense of judgment. That's what excites me."

"A woman after my own heart." He jokes kindly as he leans back into his seat. "So, no experiences with BDSM or shibari though? Just intrigue?"

"Yeah... just intrigue." You agree as you tug your bottom lip between your teeth.

"What all do you know about shibari?"

"Hm, I know the roles of master and model... I know there are different color ropes. It seems like a very emotional act..." He nods at what you're saying.

"It can be very emotional for both the model and the master. It's a huge test of vulnerability, trust, submission, and leadership. You know, Yn, if I ever have the honor of tying you, I will be holding your life in my hands."

You feel the heat rush to your face and between your legs from his words. There was something about giving him that level of control over you that drove you mad on the inside. You almost wanted to tell him that you wanted to skip to the trial run, but you knew that his process was what was best.

"I.. I know that... The honor...?" You softly question, causing for him to gently laugh.

"Yes, the honor. Never ever let a dom or master make you feel like your submission is anything less than a privilege. You don't owe me or anyone any part of you."

Jesus Christ. How was this man even real?

"Uh.. Noted... So, how did you find shibari..?" You hate how spacey you get when you're feeling nervous, but you don't want to fuck up and say the wrong thing.

"I always took pride in photography, so when I found photos of shibari, I knew that was something I wanted to capture. The leadership role was not always something I've been good at." He explains as he gaze drifts down towards his coffee. You're silently grateful that the coffee shop isn't too busy. They're also playing soft lo-fi tunes that drown out yours and Nanami's conversation.

"How long have you been a master?" You curiously ask, feeling a small pit in your stomach as you remember he has had other models.

"Well, I've been tying knots on people since I turned eighteen, but I'd say I really became a master at it when I turned twenty-one. That's also when I really started to take it more seriously. I use to just tie up whoever volunteered just so I could learn the knots on an actual human body. That got me into some shitty situations, so once I gained enough experience, I decided to do this little recruitment process."

"Is this just a hobby or..?"

"I see it as a lifestyle, one that I don't bother hiding."

"Then, what are you in Uni for?" You ask as you tilt your head to the side a bit, feeling confused as to why he was in college if he seemed to only have a passion in something he was already a master at.

He gives you another amused laugh. "Business." He replies.

"Why would you be in the business major?"

"I run my own business, darling. The pictures of shibari I take aren't free, with the exception of the ones I post to my blog to market it. I also photograph other things as well."

"Ohh..." You drawl as you feel a bit embarrassed for not considering that aspect. "So... how many models do you have...?" You reluctantly ask, unable to squash the growing pit in your stomach.

A small smile curls on Nanami's face as he looks at you with an unreadable expression. He seems to completely think through his response before he opens his mouth.

"I wouldn't necessarily say I have any models of my own." He answers, but that really only fills you with more questions instead of reassurance.

"So... that means...?" You ask, not daring to look up from your coffee mug. It was foolish to want a sense of monogamy from him at this early of a stage. You knew it was, but you still couldn't get behind the idea of him having multiple models.

"It means that..." The door to the cafe jingles, and Nanami's face immediately shifts to a more serious one. It's an expression that you're use to because it's the one he uses around campus. He looks unamused and almost annoyed.

"Nanamiiin!!!" A white-haired male drawled as he approached your table. You recognized him as another student from uni.

"Gojo." Kento greets in a flat tone as he eyes the male. Gojo seems to not take any offense to Nanami's tone, and he plops down on the bench seat right next to him.

"Are you on a date, Nanami?" Gojo teases as he eyes you then looks back at the blonde with a grin.

"What are you doing here, Gojo? You don't even like coffee." He says, completely ignoring the other's question.

"This cafe has a really good hot chocolate, you know. Also, am I not allowed to run into my best friend while he's in public with a pretty girl?" Gojo cuts his bright blue eyes towards you, beckoning for you to speak up.

"Oh, are you two friends?" You ask, unable to bear Gojo's omniscient stare.

"The closest." Gojo replies before draping his arm around Nanami's shoulder. Your date rolls his eyes and shrugs Gojo's arm off of him.

"Too close in my opinion." Nanami grumbles lowly.

"So cruel, Nanamin." Gojo pouts over at his friend who doesn't budge in the slightest. "Are you at least going to introduce me to your date?"

"No, leave."

"Nanamiiiin~!"

"My name's Yn." You interject their little spat as you hold out your hand towards Gojo's.

"Yn, what a pretty name for an even prettier girl." He says as he takes your hand and brings your palm up to his lips.

Before either of you could react, a strong hand grabs onto Gojo's wrist, preventing him from kissing your hand. "If you intend on keeping your hand and your dignity, I'd leave now."

Your eyes slightly widen as you watch the covert struggle between the two men. You can’t help but be hyper aware of your heart pounding in your chest. Was he being territorial… over you?

Satrou looks back over at Nanami with a smug grin before he releases your hand. He then drags Nanami’s hand up to his mouth and presses a small, polite kiss to his hand as if to piss the blonde off more. “You should bring her to the pool party next weekend, Nanamin.” He suggests with a grin.

Satoru then stands from his seat. “It was nice meeting you, yn. I hope to see you again soon.” He then promptly leaves the cafe - without even buying a hot chocolate.

Nanami takes a few moments to repress his anger back down. He takes a deep breath before speaking up. “I’m so sorry about him. He doesn’t understand boundaries at all. He didn’t make you feel uncomfortable, did he?”

“No, no, it’s alright! I’m okay.” You assure him with a reassuring smile.

He nods and returns a relieved smile before checking his watch and softly sighing. “I have to go… I would like to see you again.”

You can’t help the smile that creeps up on your face as you nod your head. “I’d like that too..”

“Do you have a free day before next weekend?” He asks before drinking the rest of his coffee. You had only just now noticed that he was drinking straight black coffee.

“Oh, uh, Wednesday afternoons are free.” You respond, feeling a flutter in your chest from the promise of seeing him again.

“Wednesday afternoon it is. How do you feel about coming to my dorm?”

His dorm? The one that’s rumored that he keeps ropes in? You can already feel your excitement bubbling up inside you.

“Your.. uh.. roommate will be there?” You ask, silently kicking yourself for how you stumbled over your words.

“Hm? No, no, I don’t have a roommate.” He assures with a small smile. “I paid the extra money. Considered it to be an investment towards my lifestyle since practicing shibari would be hard to do with a roommate.”

The new information only makes you feel more nervous and excited. For one, it was an extra thousand dollars to be roomed alone. That was no small “investment”. For two, this meant you were going to be alone with him in his room - with ropes.

“Oh.. uh, yeah, I’m okay with that.” You finally respond after a moment.

“Perfect.” He stands from his seat and looks down at you again. You have to crane your neck upward to look at his face. It’s your first time seeing him up close like this. He was tall, and his muscles and veins made you want to salivate all over the table. “See you then.” He mumbles before affectionately patting your head and leaving the cafe.

*** *** ***

The wait until Wednesday dragged on and on. You were so antsy to finally see Nanami again. You had filled your time gushing to a very skeptical Shoko and stalking his blog. He hadn’t posted anything new yet, which you decided to be a good thing. Maybe he didn’t really have any other models?

You politely knocked on his dorm door, triple checking that you went to the right one. He had texted you which one was his this morning.

The door open a moment later, and you were greeted to the sight of a cozy looking Nanami. He wasn’t in his normal attire - just a t-shirt that fit him way too tightly and a pair of grey sweatpants. Slut.

“Hi.” You greeted awkwardly, not knowing what to say.

“Hello.” He let out a puff of air in amusement to your candidness. “Come in.” He says as he moves out of your way. “Make yourself at home, please. I figured we could watch a movie today unless you wanted to do something else.”

Yeah, Nanami - do you. You silently thought to yourself.

“A movie sounds good.” You casually reply as you stroll into his dorm room. It was the average size of a dorm room, but since he didn’t have a roommate, it felt a lot larger. He had a couch where the other bed would go.

Taking in more detail, it was incredibly clean yet cozy. Your eyes drifted around his plain looking room. You don’t really know what you expected, but you assumed there would be some sort of hint to shibari.

That’s when your eyes find a coat hanger, but it wasn’t hanging up coats. Bundles of differently colored ropes hung from the hooks. He had every color of the rainbow and even some multi-colored ropes as well.

Biting your lip slightly, you wondered how the ropes would feel against your skin - if they’d be soft or rough. Would he be gentle or rough?

“I see you found my collection.” His voice slightly startles you, causing for you to flinch. A small chuckle of amusement escapes him from your skittish behavior.

“Oh- uh, yeah, sorry..” You apologize, not wanting for him to think you’re weird.

“Don’t be. I assumed you’d be curious. Want to touch one?” He offers as his hand slowly finds the small of your back, and he casually guides you over to the coat hanger in the corner of the room.

“I’m allowed?” You sheepishly ask.

“I wouldn’t have offered if you weren’t.” He calmly laughs as his hand grazes across a white rope. “This is called jute rope. It’s made for comfort and aesthetics.”

You nod your head and carefully reach out to brush your hand against the rope as if it was made of glass. The rope really was silky smooth. You almost wish your clothes were made out of the same material.

“I didn’t expect it to be so soft.” You muse quietly, allowing your hand to continue petting the rope.

“It’s made with comfort of models in mind. It won’t leave any rope burns or anything like that on their skin.” He explains, and his hand moves to a different rope. “This one on the other hand is hemp rope. It’s rougher, so it can sit more snugly against the skin. It’s great for tight knots and suspension.”

You follow his lead, carefully touching the next black hemp rope. It was rougher than the jute rope. “Suspension?” You quietly ask.

“That’s for experienced models and masters. It’s a whole different breed of shibari - one that requires a huge foundation of trust and understanding of each other’s bodies.” Nanami explains as he watches your facial expressions.

“Oh.. have you ever suspended someone before..?” You can’t help your curiosity when it comes to his experience level.

“Once, but it was sheerly for practice.” He calmly answers before moving his hand over to the soft pink rope next to it. You immediately recognize that rope from the pictures on his blog. “This one is made of cotton. It’s extremely soft and lightweight, great for beginners models.”

You reluctantly reach out and barely touch the pink one. It was incredibly soft, but you can’t help but think about the lucky girl posing in his pictures and how pretty she looked in his hands.

“You recognize this one, don’t you?” He asks, immediately noticing your withdrawal.

“Yeah.” You respond as you look away from him and the ropes. You knew you were being dramatic, but some part of you couldn’t help it.

It’s obvious to you that the girls he’s tied up in the past spread those rumors about him, telling everyone what he likes to do in his free time. You painted a narrative in your head that all the other girls he’s tied up in the past aren’t really into shibari. They probably just wanted to get in his pants. Okay, maybe that was an unfair assumption.

“Hey.” Nanami speaks up, and his hand gently cups your cheek, making you look up at him. “We can pick out your own rope, okay? I want you to be comfortable, and if using ropes that have been on other models makes you uncomfortable, I’ll buy a whole set just for you.”

It’s a heartfelt gesture - proving that he has your best interest in mind. It didn’t completely put an end to your bitter jealousy, but it helped.

“I don’t want you to spend that kind of money just because of my downfall.”

"Downfall-? No, darling, it's not a downfall, and please, there is nothing else in the world I'd rather buy than new shibari ropes. As soon as you can provide a doctor's note to me, I'd love to take you and pick out ropes for you together." Nanami's hand stays firm on your cheek, not allowing for you to look away from him. His voice sounds raw - he's being serious.

Something about him planning for the future makes you relax a bit. He's planning this stuff already as if you're spot in his lifestyle is already guaranteed.

Swallowing harshly, you slowly nod your head. "If it's something you'd like to do as well, I think it would help me feel a bit more comfortable."

"It is. I want this to be as fun for you as it will be for me." His voice drops an octave lower as his eyes rest upon you, practically drinking in the sight of you. Slowly dipping his head towards your ear and neck, he whispers, "You're going to look so pretty tied up. I'm excited to see what color you'll pick."

Oh.

You immediately press your thighs together, trying to subtly hide your arousal from his words. Gods, you were so easy. He didn't even have to do much to get you all worked up.

The two of you lounge on his couch, watching a movie that he has playing on his laptop. He has his arm comfortably placed around the back of the couch. Since you were watching on a laptop, you had to sit rather close to him.

The lingering scent of his cologne in the air made you feel feral, and you could feel his body heat radiating from his body. The movie was just a blur at this point as you were silently wishing he'd just wrap his arm around your shoulders and pull you closer.

You sneakily catch a glimpse of his face, and you notice his eyes are closed. His breathing is even and deep. He fell asleep next to you.

What an absolute cutie.

Carefully, you reach out to the coffee table and pause the movie. With no more background noise, you can hear the soft and subtle snores escaping from his mouth.

Deciding that it would be too weird for you to stay in his space while he's unconscious, you carefully try to stand. but two strong arms loop around your waist and pull you back down - right into his lap.

"Stay." He murmurs quietly. His voice was still breathy from sleep. "Please?"

You gaze up at him, and his eyes were still closed. He had his face nuzzled into your hair while holding onto you like you were a damn teddy bear. Refusal wasn't an option. Even in his sleep, Nanami was stronger than you.

"I'll stay." You whisper back to him, knowing good and well that he was fast asleep. Getting cozy in his lap, you allowed your eyes to slip close as well.

*** *** ***

He apologized profusely to you for falling asleep once you two woke up from your cozy nap. You reassured him that it was okay. You were grateful that he felt comfortable enough to fall asleep next to you, and it seemed like you both needed that nap.

In order to make it up to you, Nanami invited you to that pool party that Satoru mentioned at the cafe. If you had the guts to meet Satoru and still stick around, you may as well meet the rest of his friends.

Now it's Friday, the day before the pool party. You hadn't really heard from Nanami since he invited you, but he was active on his blog. That sick feeling clouded in your stomach upon seeing another model tied up in the white rope you were just touching on Wednesday.

Jealousy's a bitch.

Deciding that you really couldn't be upset, you weren't even technically one of his models. It was also very possible that Nanami was posting older pictures that he had taken before you had even messaged him.

You couldn't stand to sit on the sidelines for much longer. If you wanted to become one of his models, you needed to go down to the clinic and get a physical to prove to Nanami that you were in good health.

Surprisingly, it was easy to lie to the nurse and say that you need a physical to join the volleyball team. She didn't suspect a thing as she had you sit down on one of the cots and fill out a clipboard.

Since this was a university clinic, privacy was not it's strong suit. You could clearly see anyone who walked in through the doors, just as they could see you.

Answering all of the questions on the clipboard with 'no', you perk your head up as your hear voices speaking to the nurse.

Your heart fell into your stomach immediately as you take in the sight of Nanami guiding a girl into the clinic. What were the odds?

Feeling your heart pounding in your chest, you try to calm yourself. This could be just a funny coincidence.

"What seems to be going on today?" The nurse asks while looking between the girl and Nanami.

"She just needs to be checked out is all." Nanami's calm voice felt like a bullet. He was here, helping another girl get a physical, so she could be a model too.

All while he had been practically radio silent to you for the past couple of days.

Glancing over, his eyes caught yours. A smile immediately curled on his lips until he saw you crumpling up your paper from your clipboard.

"Nevermind. I'm good." You tell the nurse and Nanami as you chunk the piece of paper into the trash.

"Hey wait- yn-" Nanami tries as he tries to reach out to you, but you were already gone.

It's funny how he was suddenly flooding your phone.

KN: Yn, please, allow me to explain.

KN: I know you're upset with me. Let's just talk this out.

KN: Tell me what to do to make it better.

KN: Yn, please.

KN: Please. I'm sorry. It wasn't how it appeared.

The messages went on for the rest of the day. You ignored each one of them. You had placed him on some fucking pedestal just because he seemed quiet and 'not like other guys'. BLEH. He was exactly like other guys. He could just tie boy scout knots and say pretty assuring words. This is exactly the reason why you didn't care to make friends. Something will always come around and burst your bubble.

You finally gained enough courage to tell Shoko what happened the next day. She promptly came over to try to console you.

"Baby, he could've actually had an explanation." She oddly advocates for Nanami, even though you distinctly remember her asking what was so good about him when you first brought him up.

"No, he just wanted a way in, so he could lie and make me feel better." You say, telling yourself that fact as much as you were telling her.

"Are you still going to go to that pool party? I'll be there." She says as she rubs your hair gently, allowing the strands to flow through her fingers. "You can at least show him what he's missing."

The thought of going out anywhere sounded like torture and seeing him sounded even worse, but the thought of getting your mind off him did sound appealing. Plus, you did have a really cute bathing suit...

"You'll be there..?" You ask timidly.

"Of course." She assures you with a smile.

*** *** ***

Walking into the huge frat house, your arm is linked with Shoko's. She was wearing a pretty black one-piece bathing suit that she's wearing a black lace shawl to cover her body.

You were wearing a lilac bikini with a bathing skirt that tied around your hips.

It was dark out, but the back patio of the house was lit up by a cozy fire and string lights that wrapped around in trees and around the patio area. The massive underground pool was also lit up by pool lights that were underwater.

It wasn't necessarily crowded per say since it was so massive, but there were probably twenty or so people hanging around the pool and outdoor bar.

"Shokoooo!" A familiar white-haired guy shouted from inside the pool. The he was leaned back, so the water lapped at his chest and abs. He raised up a beer. "aaanndd... Nanami's girl. You made it."

Your face involuntarily grimaced from being referred to as 'Nanami's girl'. Had you not seen pictures of his new models and him taking that girl to get a physical, you probably would've blushed from the nickname.

"She's my girl tonight. Thank you." Shoko bantered with a small grin, and she gave your arm a reassuring squeeze.

Speaking of Nanami, you didn't see him anywhere. Did he decide not to come?

A tall brunette male with long hair and gauges stood beside Gojo in the pool, and he leaned over to whisper in his ear. Satoru's face shifted, and he nodded. "That's right." He said a bit too loudly before the brunette shushed him.

"Come on. Let's get in." Shoko urges you as she slips off her shawl and gets an over exaggerated whistle from Satoru. You then hear a "ow!". It was clear the brunette had elbowed him.

You really don't feel ready to be alone, so you follow her lead and slip the sheer lilac skirt that covered your hips, and you throw it on one of the nearby patio chairs.

Stepping into the water, it becomes clear to you that the pool is heated.

"How does the school even afford this?" You quietly mutter.

"The school?" The brunette laughs. "The school didn't afford this."

"This isn't a frat house..?" You quietly ask as you step deeper and deeper into the water.

"The Gojo-frat house." Satoru replies with a cheeky grin.

"It's called daddy's money." The brunette adds with his own grin.

"It's called Gojo money, Suguru." The white-haired male jabs the other in the side.

The patio door slides open behind you, and you look over your shoulder to see Nanami walking out with another tall brunette male, but this one had shorter hair. He also had tired eyes and a stoic face.

Your heart aches a bit as you share a glance with Nanami. He was wearing swimming trunks and a grey t-shirt that covered his chest. He looked at you with a hopeful glance, as he obviously looked like he wanted to say something.

"Hiromi, haven't seen you here in a while." Suguru comments as he takes a drink from a red solo cup.

"Yeah, law school is pretty unforgiving. I don't recommend." Hiromi says with a small smile as he sits down on the concrete next to the pool. He allows his legs to dangle inside the pool next to you. "I'm sorry. I don't recognize you from around." He says as his gaze falls upon you.

"Oh, uhm, I'm Yn. I don't normally come to these things." You awkwardly greet yourself as you look up at him. Maybe he'd be a good distraction.

"I'm Hiromi Higuruma. It's nice to meet you." He smiles as he sticks out his hand. You graciously take it, and he gives your hand a small squeeze.

Your eyes meet and for a moment. You're almost able to forget about Nanami. That is, until you see the blonde strip off his shirt out of your peripheral vision. You give him the satisfaction of glancing over at him.

Fuck him and his entirely too nice body.

He looked like an Olympian. His shoulders were nice and broad. His chest and abs were perfectly defined too. He slimmed up a bit towards the waist area, and his swim trunks were ever so slightly giving you a peek at his v-line.

"Show off." Hiromi laughs as Nanami sits on the other end of the pool. He then props his hands up on the concrete and allows his entire body to slip into the water.

You're almost completely mesmerized by him, until Hiromi speaks up.

"So, you don't come around these things too much?" He asks as he looks down at you while your lower half is submerged in water.

"No, I don't. I don't really enjoy the party scene." You reply sheepishly as you look back up at Hiromi.

"Me neither." He laughs leaning down towards you slightly. "I don't know why they continue to invite me to these things."

You share a small laugh with him, but a cold chill makes your body shiver. You can feel a pair of eyes boring holes into you. Risking a glance over in Nanami's direction, you see him staring straight into Higuruma's very soul.

Was he actually jealous?

"Do you want a tour?" Hiromi asks as he seems to not even notice Nanami's death glare.

"Uhhh..." You drawl as you glance back over at Shoko. She was currently chatting up a pretty girl at the other end of the pool. A small exhale of amusement leaves your nose. So much for being her girl tonight. "Sure. I'd like that." You respond to Hiromi. He carefully takes your hand and helps you out of the pool.

You two explore the massive frat house, and Hiromi tells you that he use to go to your school and live in the frat house with Satoru, Suguru, and a few other names you don't recognize. However, he left once he was accepted into law school.

"You know... no one would notice if we were gone for just a little while." Hiromi murmurs into your ear as he crowds you against a wall. "I could show you my old bedroom. I doubt Gojo had the decency to even fix it up after I left."

"Oh, I..."

"Hiromi." A deep voice calls from the other side of the hallway, startling you from responding. You glance over and see Nanami with a towel thrown over his bare shoulder.

"Kento." Hiromi responds with a half-smirk. "Have you met Yn?"

"Very much so. Satoru's calling for you outside." Nanami responds flatly as he stares Hiromi down. "I think it'd be wise of you to go see what he wants."

Hiromi lets out a slight sigh, and he moves back away from you and the wall. "Fine." He responds before brushing his hand against your cheek and walking away.

Left alone with Nanami, you have no where to go and hide. You can't avoid his questions anymore.

Stalking forward slowly, you feel your heart start to race with each step.

"You've been ignoring my texts..."

"I have." You respond dryly as you keep your eyes away from him.

The sound of his footsteps hitting the ground draw closer.

"That girl at the clinic wasn't my model. I don't have any models." His voice was lower than normal, hanging onto each word.

"The pictures on the blog? You going silent for a while?" You ask as you take a step back from him.

"I run a business of selling pictures of models practicing shibari as pieces of artwork. It's all completely consensual, usually girls come to me looking to make some money since I give them forty-five percent of all the money earned from the pictures. They're not my models though. I rarely ever see the same girls twice considering the amount of money I pay them." He explains as his footsteps gradually grow closer.

You take another step back, trying to comprehend what he was saying, and your back presses against the wall. Dead end.

"The girl at the clinic?"

"She passed out in front of me completely by sheer coincidence. I was just doing her a favor and not leaving her unconscious in the middle of a college campus."

He takes another step towards you until you can feel his body heat radiating from him. You're eye-level with his pectoral muscles as you can't bring yourself to look him in the eye right now.

"Yn." He says your name in such a demanding tone. You slowly drag your eyes upward and give him a guilty look. Your jealousy had gotten the better of you, and it almost cost you Nanami. You can feel your heartbeat in your throat as he carefully reaches up and cups your cheek. "I've wanted it to be you ever since I first saw you around campus."

"Wanted what to be me..?" You softly whisper as his giant hand encompasses your cheek and jaw. His thumb drags gentle circles on your skin, massaging your face.

"My model. My muse. Please, forgive me for not being immediately forthcoming as to what I do for a living. I'll stop it immediately if you ask me too. I'll do whatever you want.. just please.."

Your hands reach up and gather his jaw before you can even think twice, and you pull him downward to you. He immediately gets the memo and dips his head down, pressing his lips against yours firmly.

You respond immediately with a small whimper as he presses your back against the wall. The sounds of lips smacking together filled the hallway completely as Nanami drinks down every little noise you make.

His hands are gently groping at your thighs, massaging the soft, pillowy flesh beneath his fingers, and he lets out a quiet groan. Your hands trail upwards to his blonde hair, and your rake your fingers through his undercut.

Your bodies are pressed together, barely hidden by the fabric that was your bathing suits. Nanami trails his kisses down your jaw and neck, gently sucking and nipping at the skin. His hands firmly hold onto your thighs, and he lifts your feet off the ground, holding you up against the wall.

“I can’t get enough of you.” His voice mumbles between kisses.

“Nanami…” You softly gasp as he sucks a love bite into the crook of your neck.

“I thought I was going to kill him.” He goes on as he gently bites and kisses down your shoulder. You immediately know he’s talking about Hiromi.

“I couldn’t stand the way he looked at you.” Another bite. “I want to be the only one who looks at you like that.” Bite.

You’re pitifully trying to grind your hips up against Nanami’s growing bulge, desperate for friction. “Say you’re mine, and I’ll give you what you want.”

You feel your heart flutter at his offer. Nanami’s dirty secret wasn’t that he’s a shibari master. He would tell that to anyone proudly. His dirty secret is he’s as jealous and territorial as you.

“I’m yours.” Your voice is breathy as you lean your head back against the wall. “I’m yours. Please, Nanami.”

Oh, that whiny tone will be the death of him.

“That’s what I thought.” He lowly rumbled into your ear before he started to move his hips, practically dry humping you in the hallway. Anyone could walk in and see you two.

You were too enthralled by the feeling of his tip bumping and rubbing against your core. You could feel every outline thanks to both of you being in swimwear.

“Fuck.” He quietly growls as his hands start to move your body as well, practically using you as a toy for pleasure.

He leans over towards your shoulder, and he catches the tie of your bikini string between his teeth. All while he’s grinding against you, he unties one of your bikini strings using only his teeth.

The wet fabric immediately slides down, allowing him a peak at your breasts. He lifts you up a bit higher so he can kiss around your chest. Unfortunately for him, your top is still blocking what he’s aiming for.

“Take it off.” He demanded lowly, getting impatient.

Your hands immediately reach behind your back, and you pull a string that immediately frees your chest. Your top ends up on the ground.

“Good girl.” He rewards as he leans his head down and kisses all around the soft flesh of your breast. His tongue darts out, gently lapping at your nipple, causing you to shiver. A smile curls onto his lips. He loves your reactions.

“Nanami~” You impatiently whine again.

“So needy.” He clicks his tongue. “Tell me what you want, darling.”

“Please.. no I-“ You fumble over your words, feeling to shy that you want him to fuck you into next week.

“Use your words. Tell me.” He’s unrelenting.

“I want.. want you to fuckmeplease.” You quickly say, mushing all your words together.

“You can do better than that, dear. Try again.” It’s no wonder he’s a fucking dom.

“Please fuck me.” You finally whine out.

“Yeah? You want me to fuck you, right here?” He asks as he adjusts his arms. He cradles the back of your thighs with one arm as his other is busy pushing down his swimming trunks just enough.

“Yes.. please..”

“Right where any of our friends could come and see us?” He questions once more as he hooks his fingers into your bikini bottoms, and he pulls them to the side.

“Yes..” You whine as you glance down. Your skin runs cold as you see his length.

“So impatient.” He muses as he gently starts to rub the small bundle of nerves in tight circles, causing your body to shake lightly in anticipation. Your legs hook around his waist, and your arms stay around his shoulders.

“Hope you can be quiet, darling.” He taunts as he aligns himself with your hot wet entrance. He hums as he pushes in at a torturously slow pace. It feels like he’s splitting you in half, quite literally impaling you with his cock as he lowers you down onto it.

Your nails dig into his shoulders as you feel each inch of him push into you. Harsh jagged pants and small moans escape from you involuntarily.

“Or don’t. I wouldn’t mind them knowing how good I can make you feel.”

“F-fuck too big.. ngh~ I.. I can’t.”

“Shh. You can take it.” He hums as he presses soft kisses to your neck. “You’re my— hah.. good girl, aren’t you?”

“Y-yes!” You stifle a cry as your body hopelessly clings to him. He’s only halfway in, and you’re already so delirious.

“So warm and… ngh tight for me, hm?” He praises as he continues shoving himself inside of you. His self control is slowly withering away as your cunt grips him like a vice.

“Therree we go..” He purrs as he’s finally buried himself to the hilt. “Biiig stretch.”

“Sh-shut.. up.” You whimper out of embarrassment as you lean your head down into his shoulder.

“What did you just say?”

“N-noth-“

His hips pull back and snap inward forcefully, causing your back to thump against the wall. “Ah!”

“Say it again.” He demands.

“Shut up..” Your voice is barely a whisper, and Nanami laughs at you. He laughs.

“Oh darling.” He murmurs into your ear quietly. “I’d suggest you check your tone before you speak to me like that again.” He rams his cock into you once more, causing a small whisper-cry to fall from your mouth. “Or else everyone in this goddamn house will find out how much you love being fucked by me.” His hips start to move at a brutal pacing. Your back is flat against the wall as you’re physically knocked back with each thrust.

“I-I… ah~ … ‘m sorry.”

“I know you are.” He murmurs quietly into your ear. “Ngh.. fuck’s sake.. takin’ me so well.” He praises as his hands are dragging you in sync up and down his cock, impaling you harder.

Your walls squeeze around him so deliciously, and your pretty sounds falling from your mouth. Nanami doesn’t feel in control for the first time. Sure, he’s the dominant one in this situation, but his hips are moving completely on their own accord, rutting into you fervently. His cock can’t get enough of your warm spongy walls wrapping around him.

Glancing down, he can see a ring of white and clear slick gathering at the base of his cock. “Such a mess.” He mumbles as starts rolling his hips faster into you.

His thick tip gently kissed your cervix with each roll of the hips. Your body was trembling in his arms. “Na..fuck.. nanami~” You moan as your nails are digging into his shoulder blades, giving him scratched as trophies.

“That’s right, darling. Say my name.”

“Nanami~”

“Louder. Want .. mnnph.. want our friends to hear you.” His hips are rocking back and forth deliciously, rutting you into the wall like an untamed animal. His body was coated in a thin sheen of sweat, and his normally kept blonde hair was messily falling onto his forehead.

“Nanami!” You shout, obeying his demand.

“Good fucking girl.” He growls as he bounces your body up and down along his length.

“Sh-shit.. Nanami, I wanna… ah~ wan’ to cum please.” You ask for permission as soon as you feel the coiling heat in your stomach. Your body is so close.

“Go ahead, baby. Let me feel you.” He pants as he feels his orgasm nearing as well.

“Oh, fuck-“ You whimper as your body spasms on him. Your walls clenching around him impossibly tighter.

“Thaaat’s it.” He purrs as he pumps himself in and out of you gently, fucking you through your orgasm. “That’s a good girl, finishing on my cock like that. So pretty when you cum.”

Your poor fucked out cunt is so sensitive as he’s continually forcing his cock in and out between your soaked folds. Grunts and growls escape his mouth as his pacing is slower but purposeful.

“You ready for my- mmnph~ cum, baby? Where you want it, huh?” He asks as his legs are starting to tremble with each thrust. It’s taking every last inch of self control he has not to finish right then.

“I-inside.. please, don’t pull out.” You whine as your legs tighten around him more.

“Want it inside your pretty cunt? You wanna be filled with my cum? You sure you can handle that?”

“Yes, please.. fuck~ please, Nanami.”

“Come here.” A deep growl rumbles from his throat as he pushes into you as deep as your pussy will allow, and his cock twitches with each rope of cum his blows into you. You’re able to count at least six. “Ohhh~ fuck-!” He curses as his entire body stays tense for a few more moments.

Deep breaths fill the silence.

Your body is gently trembling in his arms as you’re both coming down from your highs. He presses a small kiss to your cheek. “Do you think you can stand..?”

“N-no..” You reply sheepishly.

“Okay darling, I’m gonna sit you down on the floor. I’ll be right back, okay? Just get your top on and wait for me.” He reassures before hissing as he pulls out of you. His seed immediately trickles down your thighs.

He gently sits your bottom down onto the ground, and he makes sure you’re okay before he pulls his swim trunks back up and walks out towards the back patio.

Your body will barely cooperate with you as you tie the lilac bikini top back to your chest. Your hands keep shaking and fucking up the knot.

From the patio, you hear loud cheers and claps coming from Satoru.

“Na-na-mi!” He chants to embarrass his friend. A few others in the pool chant along with him, loving the look of annoyance and underlying pride on his face.

Kento simply rolls his eyes with a small smile and grabs his clothes and your sheer skirt from the back patio. “Go for round two. Don’t be a pussy!” Satoru shouts obscenely, and Nanami flips him off as he walks back into the house with you.

He puts his shirt on you to cover you up and carries you back to his dorm bridal style.

“Sleep at mine tonight. We’ll get you some clothes tomorrow and go to the store.” He offers as he closes his door with his hip.

“The store?” You ask curiously, wondering why you two would need to go to the store. “I’m on birth control.” You inform, thinking he’s talking about getting a plan B.

“Well, that’s good to know, but I was talking about getting your ropes.” He responds with a soft smile as he gently sits you down on the couch. He then digs some clothes for you two to wear out of his dresser.

You had almost forgotten all about shibari after he had fucked you like that. Your eyes immediately glanced over towards his coat rack, and your eyebrows furrow as you realize it’s empty.

“What happened to your other ropes?” You quietly ask.

“Hm? I gave them to a beginner shibari master.” He says casually as he pulls his swimming trunks off. You politely try to look away, which earns a laugh out of him. “It’s not like you haven’t seen me before.” He muses.

“Not like this-!” You shout with a pout as your hands cover your eyes. “Why did you give them away?” You ask quietly.

Nanami pulls on some dry pajama pants, and he carefully walks up to you while you still have your eyes covered. His thumb gently brushes against your lips, causing you to flinch slightly.

“I don’t want you to feel reminded by other people when you’re in here with me. This is our space. We’ll have our own ropes just for me to tie you up with and no one else. You’re the only person for me, and I don’t want you to think that since I have other ropes, it means I’m tying up other people.” He quietly explains as he takes your hands away from your eyes.

“But your business..?” You quietly ask as your eyebrows knit together. The thought was so considerate and sweet, but you didn’t want to be the reason for his loss of income.

“Is not as important as you are. Besides, I photograph other things.”

“And… if you take pictures of me..?”

“My eyes only.” He grins before pressing a kiss into your cheek.

BONUS SCENE.

“How’s that, darling?” Nanami asks as he tightens the knot against your wrists. “You remember the safe word?”

“Feels good.” You softly hum as you allow for your eyes to close. “Yes, I remember the safe word.” The safe word was Malaysia. Nanami admires your expression. You were a complete natural at this. He started off small, only tying your wrists behind your back as you were on his knees.

The red jute rope looked so pretty as it pressed against your flesh. He took out his camera and snapped a picture of your hands bound together. Then a picture of your relaxed face.

“So beautiful.” He praises quietly.

Your eyes flutter open, looking up at him through your lashes. His breath hitches in his throat as he takes one more picture.

“Something feels wrong.” You murmur quietly, and Nanami’s face shifts to one of concern.

“What is it, baby? Too tight?” He asks as he immediately goes to look at your wrists, making sure that he didn’t accidentally bind you too tightly.

“No.. my mouth feels empty.”

Kento’s movement stops as he looks down at you. You give a coy smile back up at him.

“Oh, I see. Too empty?” He says as he leans back up, standing in front of you to where you’re eye-level with his belt.

“Uh huh..”

“You want me to fix that, baby?”

“Please.”

His hand buries into the hair on the top of your head, and he grabs onto it with one hand. His other hand unbuckled his belt and frees his already hard cock from the constraints of clothes.

Your mouth waters as he holds your head just far enough way to where you can see his cock but not touch it. Your wrists immediately pull against the restraints.

“Oh? Is this what you want, hm?” He asks as he slowly pulls your face forward.

“Y-yes..” You stutter, immediately feeling neediness pool between your thighs as you see a bead of precum gather on his reddening tip.

“Open up for me.”

Your mouth is immediately open as you look up at him.

“Ohh, good girl.” He purrs as he thrusts his hips forward, filling your mouth with cock.

You’ve never been happier (or fuller).

BONUS-BONUS SCENE!!

“This plan is absurd.” Hiromi gripes as he pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Look, they’re hopeless. What kind of friends would we be if we didn’t help them out?” Satoru asks with a grin.

“Okay, run it by me one more time.” Hiromi says with a small sigh. He should be studying for the bar right now, but his friends needed him.

“Shoko is going to bring Yn to the pool party. You try to get her alone, and I’ll send Nanami in there to get you to come outside. He’ll see her with you and be so overcome with jealousy that he’ll have to spill his feelings!” Satoru explains with big hand gestures.

“You meddle in everyone’s love lives too much.” Suguru shakes his head with a fond smile.

“Shoko started it! She was the one who went telling Yn that Nanami tied up girls, knowing damn well that would intrigue her.” Satoru deflects, causing Shoko to scoff.

“I was doing him a favor! He was clearly lovesick over her, and when she mentioned liking him too, I just gave her a little breadcrumb to make her more interested.” Shoko adamantly defended herself. “You were the one who followed them to the cafe after I told you not to!”

“I had to see it for myself if he was actually going to take her on a date and bring her around!”

“All of you should be charged with stalking and harassment.” Hiromi remarks as he shakes his head. “Remind me to never tell you guys if I have a crush or not.”

*** *** ***

Tags: @theuniversesnepobaby @lemonlimecrystal-blog @getoisinnocent @jjknanamin

[20dollarlolita]

Tumblr adding polls was the greatest thing they've done in the last 6 years and the fact that I'm not making polls is a sign of my restraint.

For those of you jumping in new to the game, here's a lolita meme from 2011 that I'm doing. Original here, mine are tagged "20dollarlolita 30daylorlolita challenge". I meant to save the last one as a draft but it posted incomplete and I"m just going to live with that forever, I guess.

Random Lolita' 2011 30 day challenge, day 5: 10 things from your wish list:

When I got Typewriting Squirrles and Tailor Bear, I completed my wishlist, so this was a little bit tougher. Here goes.

#1) More embroidered pieces! Ever since getting into machine embroidery last year, I've been super into things that are embroidered. I love edge-to-edge embroidery and I love looking at how things are digitized, so I want way more stuff with embroidery instead of printing.

#2) More musical things! As y'all may know, I collect keytars, so I want much more musical print lolita. I have Bodyline's piano cats JSK and it's awakened a need for me. I want Meow Meow symphony and I want all the other cat pianos.

#3) More diverse fabrics. I got AP's Gloria skirt for cheap since it's missing the overskirt, and it's velveteen with glitter on it. I want more different textures and fabric types.

#4) More fully shirred things! When I bought that mystery bundle on Etsy, that had Bodyline's Love Nadia in it. That's a fully shirred cap sleeve OP/JSK and again, turns out that I like being comfy. When I started lolita I had two fully shirred pieces and I got rid of both of them (one I regret. One I am glad I returned to the original owner because it was a gift to them from a family member who died, but also I wish I still had it in my wardrobe).

#5) More handmade things! Really, I need to make more OPs and blouses. I need to just do the fiddly things. I have 12 yards of white shirting and a ton of patterns and I just need to do the things.

#6) I have three pairs of printed tights and I wear them all the time so why don't I just get more printed tights? Plus size 45-kitten-holder tights are on ebay for like $25 a pair, and that's where I got the ones that I have, so what's stopping me from getting more?

#7) Okay so i don't know if this counts but I want to get lolita dresses for my creepy doll Helena so that I can carry her around and have her match me. I've seen people do this and it looks super cool. Also, I was at Walmart and saw some dolls that were specifically to have fidget toys in them. And I think that's just capitalizing on a trend but one of them had some giant pigtails that were made to be stretchy and messed with (I think her name was Unicorn Sprinkle), and I know there's so many people in my (new) lolita comm who keep fidget toys on hand for anxiety at meets, so I think it'd be really cool to have a doll in a lolita dress that's specifically for you to carry at meets and fidget with but that goes with your outift. However, I hate making doll clothes. I have many ideas about doll clothes but I don't do any of them.

#8) More tea party shoes. After making my last pair into roller skates, I bought some very used ones for $5, but they broke on my first wear and I can't find a couch by the side of the road to fix them with like I did on my last ones. I have like 4 pairs of RHS and 4 pairs of chunky mary jane platforms, so I need some tea parties. This is especially true because of my bad ankle. My podiatrist probably really wants me to stay closer to the ground than 4".

#9) I kind of just want to own every single meta frill skirt that I can find. They're cheap and comfy and maybe I do want to get back into wearing lolita every day if that wearing lolita is meta frill skirts.

#10) This is going to sound weird, but I want more blouses that need to be ironed. I've been getting so many gathered polyester blouses that don't need to be pressed, and I want the look of that crisp pressed blouse. Also I really love when you take it out of the wash and it's yucky and sad but then you press it and it's all crispy and happy. I don't like that sometimes I want it to be something that's already pressed and I have to press it, but I love when you renew something's life with your iron.

Okay, that's it for today. This one was fun, because it made me think. Maybe that's the point of these, to make you think about the situation you've taken for granted differently. BTW now everyone is asking me about pretzel lolita. I remember a long time ago there was a Threadbanger post about something called the Dookie Necklace (seen in part of this video about 1:30 in) and I feel like pretzel lolita needs to somehow incorporate Dookie Necklace technology. I'll think on this one and get back to you.

<double checks that she ACTUALLY queues this one when she wants to>

[scover-va]

ok i havent been able to get the idea of an dnd-styled rpg inscryption/the hex au out of my head and it's physically paining me at this point (/j). So, I'm making you fuckers deal with my ramblings bc tumblr's just become a place for my to spit out ideas so they'll stop taking up space in my brain. So! Ramble under the cut since I'll be main tagging this bitch for organization purposes

So main character would be Inscryption's Challenger, and I'm thinking maybe the entire party of em is just. Different versions of the Challenger designs in Inscryption? Either that, or the Challenger is accompanied by Luke, Kaycee, and Lionel. Not Carla tho, I got villain plans with her. Tempted to go with the several Challenger designs idea, but then I'd need to come up with names, so. Y'know.

I dont know how im gonna have the world set up, but I'm thinkin the Scrybes now have land they rule over? Maybe not kingdoms for all of em, but yknow. Only issue with that is that I'd need to figure out how to fit the hex characters in, so what I'll probably do is just having them having authority in smaller areas. So like, taking inspo from Leshy's ties to Slavic mythology, he'd be king of the forest. Grimora might be an infamous necromancer, I havent fully figured these guys out yet.

But i DO have six other characters figured out so ohoHO buckle down, everyone.

Because I refuse to change Rocky's general appearance if I dont have to, Rocky was kidnapped from a young age and experimented on. By who? I'll figure that out eventually. Anyways, so in those few years, Rust was searching for him day and night, and eventually found the people that took Rocky. I have him planned to be a rogue in the rpg au, so yknow. Breaks in, kills some people, has a very heartfelt reunion with his kid, while also. Internally being very fucking angry that these assholes experimented so goddamn much on a child. He got Rocky out safe, and they're now travelling the lands for a place to call home, while Rust is. Also looking for the people who were running the operation, since they weren't there. I am. Considering making Reggie and Jeremiah full on villains for this. So. We'll see what happens. Other idea is Irving and the Gameworks/Gamefuna. I'll figure that out later. Rust and Rocky will aid the players in exchange for helping Rust find the people who hurt his kid. Rocky's completely unaware of how much his pops wants revenge, and really just wants to find somewhere safe to call home. Too bad years of separation affected Rust so poorly

Next up, ex-sorceress Chandrelle, who now claims to be a warlock. She's a lone traveller, and doesn't answer when asked what god she draws her power from. I'm still trying to work out how she got stuck with Vallamir, so that'll be a future ramble. But yeah, she's stuck with him. Her questline would probably have something to do with getting rid of Vallamir, but another idea would be her looking for Lazarus. I'll figure out the separation lore when I have the Vallamir lore figured out, but they got separated, and Chandrelle hasn't been able to find him. Actually I could probably make these work as one big questline tbh. We'll see. I'm thinking maybe Chandrelle got into a dangerous battle, and in order to ensure she'd be safe, made a deal with Vallamir for more power in exchange for being possessed and used at will? Anyways, yeah ok im running with this idea, big battle happens, but even tho Chandrelle's safe, Lazarus! Is not. He ends up getting taken, and now Chandrelle's just looking for closure, wanting to know what happened to him.

Next up, Lazarus! So yeah, he got taken, and I'm thinkin it's gonna be Gamefuna for this one (Gonna rename it tho so it doesnt have game in it. Name's a work in progress). Anyways, they forced him to train to be a ranger instead of a paladin, and im thinkin the organization thingy does have smth similar to guns? I'll work out the details for the weapon later. So, eventually, Lazarus manages to just barely escape, and is. Kinda on the run. Moving as far as he reasonably could from where he was, he finds an abandoned temple, and fixes it up a little, now teaching swordfighting to aspiring paladins, or just anyone who wants to use a sword.

And lastly for those I have figured out, Pike! An ex-cleric, Pike served under the wizard Magnificus, having been one of his pupils. Not sure if I'm keeping the torture trials or not, but Mags still treated his students like shit, and Pike's interest in magic started dying down when she saw some knights in passing. Deciding she wanted to be a swordfighter instead, she ran away from Mag's lands, and started training to be a swordfighter, residing in a somewhat nearby village. And one day, while picking up some food from the market, Lazarus saw her training in a nearby field. And. Well. She was doing horribly. He had walked over and gave some pointers, and it eventually just led to her being one of his students at the temple. Pike having Lazarus as a mentor is completely self indulgent on my part bc I think it's cool and funky. Go funky sword people go!!

So, jotting down some ideas for Sado and Carla, im thinking Carla's an artificer, and one of her experiments eventually led to creating Sado (censoring it bc tumblr's a bitch and i aint typing dark clown you-know-who every time). Dunno the specifics, but she does have a huge fucking grudge against Lionel for smth, and just kinda. Wants him fucking dead, whether she kills him or Sado does. So yeah, she created Sado, basically making a chaos incarnate. Sado's a mix of a rogue and a wizard, running purely on magic, so she's able to bend reality quite a bit. While Carla spends most of her time in her workshop, Sado is constantly causing issues. So yeah, those two are, like, the big bads.

I'll make more posts with more ideas later, and add in any doodles I make, but thats what I got rn

Edit: Sado's safe to mention, just cant tag her, so i fixed every mention of her <3

[shealwaysreads]

Just dropping in to say I hope you realise how fucking talented you are. Your writing is just beautiful and I am envious and bitter and completely addicted. It should be illegal for you to be such a wonderful person and that fantastic an author ♥️

Hey anon!

First off, I want to thank you for your beautiful compliments on my writing—I put a lot of love into it so it always means the world when someone lets me know they enjoyed it. I pour a lot of precious time and energy into my writing, and everything I’ve created and shared has come from the heart—I write it from myself and for myself primarily, but I share it purposefully and the joy I get from hearing that other people have connected with it really is immense ❤️

But I also want to talk a little bit about the idea that my writing makes you feel envious/bitter—which might have been a completely off-hand comment without any deep intention, but it really caught my attention and gutted me a little bit, because I can empathise with that. I go through phases of feeling like I’ll never be skilled or talented enough to write the way I want to, and it’s become part of my creative process to encounter and then deal with that feeling when I’m in the midst of a project. There was also this post  (particularly @pineau-noir’s brilliant addition) circulating on my dash which has provoked a lot of discussion amongst me and my friends, and I wanted to bring a little of that out here, so forgive me for highjacking your ask.

Envy/jealousy is something that all of us feel, at one point or another. Whether it's looking at how many followers/subscribers/kudos a creator has, or the perfect turn of phrase or clever plot device that just makes you wish you’d thought of it! And jealousy is uncomfortable, we all know it’s not a nice emotion, and I think part of what makes it difficult to process is that it can feel like something that we need to keep secret. It isn’t a pretty emotion to feel, even less to admit to publicly, so it’s an emotion that can fester if left unchecked. It’s when this happens that resentment/bitterness can set in, and once those feelings get their feet under the table it’s hard to get rid of them and find your equilibrium again.

But if we accept that we probably all feel envy at some stage, then perhaps we can be a little kinder to ourselves and each other about it instead of letting it become something that settles into a stone around our feet that stops us from taking joy in our own work and in the work that other people share with us. We can accept that an emotional response (feeling like we’re not as good, or as experienced, or just plain less-than) is a natural thing, but we can also acknowledge that our first initial emotional response isn’t the be-all and end-all—we can choose how we express and respond to that instinctual kick of emotion.

We’re in the position to cultivate a sense of self-awareness and catch ourselves when we feel that envy creeping in, and we can challenge it, and manage it. Sometimes that’s going to mean taking a break, sometimes it’s venting to a friend, sometimes it’s actually facing ourselves down and recognising that the negative self-talk is coming from inside and we need to rewrite that narrative for ourselves.

For me it’s about looking at what I love about someone else’s creativity and appreciating it—it’s a gift they’ve given, and focusing on the pleasure I can take in their talent and skills, and remembering that they probably feel like I do when they see their own favourite creator means that I can tune in and remember that we’re all in the same boat, and there’s a lot of comfort in that.

Making fandom friends is something that makes a huge difference—when you can look at someone you love, creating work that you love, it becomes easy and habitual to take joy in their victories, and then you can look at every other fandom creator in that way. Because fandom is a community; to survive it needs all of us to participate. It needs every writer, and every artist. It needs every podficcer, every reccer and beta-reader, every gif-maker, every graphic maker, and every editor. It needs every fanvid creator, and every reader, commenter, and enthusiastic tumblr-tagger. It’s a community that lives and breathes on creation, interpretation, re-interpretation, celebration, sharing, the interlinked inspiration of headcanons and tropes and subversion and elevation of every iteration on character and plot.

Fandom exists because we’re all here. Including you.

I’ve got some links here, of posts that helped me and inspired me, including the tag I use on my blog to collect all the quotes and advice that keep me on track with remembering that my writing is mine, and it’s okay, and it’s worth creating.

Writing advice

@ruinsplume’s beautiful advice here

This art

Advice on competition

[monsoonblooms12]

Belamour (Ethan x f!MC)

Summary: Set after Book 3, Pooja finally gets Ethan to dance in the rain.

A/N: A silly something born out of my love for rains and my binge listening to 80s Bollywood classics (I have no idea what kinda mess this is tbh). Also, my first song based fic🤎

A/N 2: The song lyrics are indented (Translation in parenthesis)

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey X f!MC (Pooja Sharma)

Rating: General

Word Count: around 1.5K

Category: Total fluff

Warnings: None that I noticed

Song Inspiration: Aaj Kal Yaad Kuch by Mohammed Aziz

READ ON AO3

A pair of summery blue orbs insistently stare at the world beyond the glass windows.

A world that was now being washed by the consistent droplets that came down from the adobe of clouds to meet their origin.

Their drum was usually henotic, tranquil for him.

But at the moment, it only added to his irritation and deepened the void of disappointment that had formed in his chest.

In another room of the same house, a pair of amber orbs watched the magic of nature with a child-like wonder.

The pleasant, dewy petrichor spread around her, and the mellifluous tunes of Earth's own orchestra made her forget the fast turns her life went through in the past day.

In the faint light, she picked up her hand and let the jewel, the stone that was nothing less than a promise of forever, shine like the billion stars that dot the sky at nights that are devoid of clouds.

As the iridescent lights make her eyes sparkle, a vague idea forms in her brain.

Her thoughts float to reach the person who gifted her happiness, and a smile lit up on her face.

There was a mix of challenge and love in the quest she was about to partake and she was determined to succeed.

In slow, soundless steps, she made her way out of the room and out of the house.

A blur went past and his trained eyes were quick enough to catch the motion.

Shaking his head with realization, he followed behind.

As the steps took him down, and he stood under the shade of the multi-floored skyrise, she stayed yards away from it.

Her hair was wet, her skirt twirling, her face bright and beautiful.

He felt his heart race, whispering an urge to join with hers.

He restrained himself, but the scene in front of him was so spectacular that he doubted just how long his restraint would last.

After what felt like an eternity, she turned to him, half of her face golden under the street lights, the other half bearing the monotones of black and white.

She looked like the personification of their love.

Her life the golden, and his the black and white.

He could write sonnets to describe the picture-perfect scene that played before him like a film, but all he did was stand still, unable to tear his eyes away, unable to speak the words that hadn't already been spoken, his well-thumbed thesaurus gathering dust in the labyrinths of his mind.

She looked at him with a longing, a spoken call for him to join her as the rains continued to fall and purify the earth.

All he did was shake his head in silence.

She took it as a challenge, and he already knew how it was going to end.

For a minute he got lost in her memories, reminiscences from a time, from a moment that passed too quick, yet slow enough for him to remember every moment of it.

And suddenly, the faint tunes of a song brought him back to the present.

Every word of the foreign seeming language lucid clear, setting in a cascade of emotions and bringing pictures etched in past pages of the novel of life, making him go on a trip down the memory lane.

Aajkal Yad Kuch Aur Rehta Nahi

(Nowadays I don't seem to remember anything else)

Ek Bas Aapki Yad Aane Ke Bad

(Once your memories enchant me)

Yaad Aane Se Pehle Chale Aaiye

(Please come to me before the memories reach me)

Aur Phir Jaiye Jan Jane Ke Bad

(And then leave only after my breath leaves me)

The truth of the words came with an epiphany.

Every day of knowing her had been a way of painting the monotones of his life in colours he thought didn't belong to him.

Every moment she had ever spent away from him had made him yearn for her more than ever.

And yet he was foolish enough to think that miles of distance and hundreds of hours could make him forget her.

All the distress he felt could have been so easily ended if she had been with him then.

And now, as he dreams of an aeon with her, he promises to only let her go when his breath leaves him alone.

Apni Aankhon Me Mujhko Basa Lijiye

(Allow me to settle in the world of your eyes)

Apne Dil Me Mera Ghar Bana Dijiye

(Make a home for me in your heart)

Kya Karu Dil Kahi Aur Lagta Nahi

Pyar Me Aapse Dil Lagane Ke Bad

(What's the fault of mine if I can't concentrate on anything other than you, since our hearts connected by the string of love)

As the minutes pass by, melting into each other to form an hour, he loses all tracks of time.

And amidst the sweven he was living in right now, at a moment he could not pinpoint, she had taken his hand into hers and now he stood, lost in the amber of her eyes, forgetting all about the shower that now fell upon him.

As she continued to mutter the tunes in a harmony that went on in rhythm with the rain, he wished he could live in the world of her orbs.

To see the world as she saw it, to live the life from her perspective.

All he wanted was home in her heart, a tiny place on the lands of her soul.

Ishq Ke Maine Kitne Fasane Sune

(I have heard many tales of epic romances)

Husb Ke Kitne Kisse Purane Sune

(And stories about beautiful people from bygone eras)

Aisa Lagta Hai Phir Is Tarah Tut Kar

Pyar Hamne Kiya Ek Zamane Ke Bad

(But I feel I have been broken and got mended by love after centuries)

In muted harmonies, the two of them twirled, forgetting the world around them.

The way their eyes held onto each other, as if holding onto their lives, reminded him of the tales of love the folklores talk about.

The romances of princesses and maidens, and of beauties who earned their fairytale.

But as her palm stroked his cheek in a feather-light motion, he concluded that all those tales faint in front of the story of theirs.

There were no royals, no cruel witches setting up spells and no poisoned apples.

There were just two people, broken by the storms life made them navigate through, fitting perfectly as if parts of a whole.

He tried to remember if he had ever experienced anything as he did now, his lip tracing her ear as his hands wrapped around her waist.

It didn't even take him a second to know the answer.

He hadn't.

Aapka Naam Dil Se Nikalta Nahi

(Your name never leaves my heart)

Dillagi Me Koi Zor Chalta Nahi

Dillagi Me Koi Zor Chalta Nahi

(No force is strong enough to stop the meet of two hearts)

Aapko Bhul Jane Ki Koshish Bhi Ki

(I tried a hundred times to forget you)

Aur Tadpa Hun Main Bhool Jaane Ke Baad

(And suffered a suffering of pain and agony once I forgot you)

The rains accelerate and become a downpour. The mist envelops them but there was no care for the changing environment.

The distance between them ceases to exist as their hearts finally get the pleasure of beating in unison.

In the next moments, she whispers close to his ear, the last of the melody, and it's his story.

The story of how he couldn't get rid of the five-lettered name since the first time he ever came to know about it.

Of how no force in the world could stop two hearts from meeting if that's what destiny had in plan for them.

Who one loves and who loves them back determines so much in one life.

And for him, it was a chance, a risk he was scared to take, dreading the destruction it may cause.

After all when had anything ever-blossoming flowers in the city of his soul?

But this time not only did spring finally arrived with its flowery footsteps but also led to a discovery of himself, a part of him that was buried under layers of snow from the winter that reigned in his life for years.

She taps twice on his heart, indicating how he had tried to forget her, all those years ago. And how he broke himself in the process.

As she hummed the last lines, he bowed down in front of the forces that brought the two of them together.

He thanked the stars which aligned the way did to let him fall for her and agreed to hide, to let the rains fall, to let him have this night with her.

And looked in awe at the woman who brought about the sweetest catastrophe mankind has ever known.

And without uttering a word, he picks her and kisses her, saying all that was left unsaid with it.

PS: I actually have another version of the song, that I sung specifically to go with this, but Tumblr is giving me troubles to upload it. Do let me know if you would like to hear it someday.

Anyways, If you are reading this, I am very grateful for you. Thank you for reading and I hope you have a great day🤎

Tags🤎(Please let me know if you would like to be added or removed):

Perma: @gkittylove99 @neotericthemis @udishaman @aestheticartsx @twinkleallnight @schnitzelbutterfingers @sophxwithers @sweatyrysconnoisseur @nikki-2406 @choicesfanaf @trrfanaddict @starrystarrytrouble @gardeningourmet @parkbarks @mvalentine @lovablegranny @mercury84choices @izzyourresidentlawyer @phoenixrising308 @adiehardfan @quixoticdreamer16 @a-crepusculo @cordonianruby @gryffindordaughterofathena

Open Heart (All fics and edit): @lucy-268 @maurine07 @bellcat2010 @headoverheelsforramsey @estellaelysian @shanzay44

Ethan x Pooja: @aleynareads @choicesaddict5 @stygianflood @mysticaurathings @jamespotterthefirst @ilikemenbutonlyethanramsey @takemyopenheart @mm2305

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

[ashc-from-ao3]

Ashc’s no nut November BINGO

No nut November bingo. Write a fic or draw some art for each square and try to complete your bingo card.

I may not longer be posting on Tumblr but AO3 isn’t the best for this type of wide spread thing so this is honestly very likely my last post to my writing blog.

Some explanations because I had limited spaces in the squares and some things may not be obvious. “They” is used in the descriptions for whoever isn’t able to nut.

Use the tag #Ashc’s No nut November If you’re following this bingo card. Feel free to tag me in your creations as well. I’m posting this October 1st so people can see it for a while and plan out their stories and what they want to do for it before November arrives.

1. Orgasm denial/control character is being denied orgasm by their lover. Pretty straightforward.

2. Getting interrupted before the end. Something stops make reader/character from cumming just as they are about to. Maybe someone walks in, the phone rings, something startles them etc.

3. Edging. They are either edging themselves or are being edged.

4. Cock cage, they are in a cock cage and can’t cum. No matter how much they want to or how much they are being pushed.

5. doing it for fun. Maybe they heard about no nut November and decided to take the challenge.

6. Someone is staying over. They havehas company for a few days and they get loud when they are cuming so they can’t cum while the company is over

7. Trying to outlast their lover. A challenge was issued, who can go the longest without cuming. And they intend to win

8. Started as a joke but now it’s serious. Much like doing it for fun maybe they heard about no nut November and started the challenge for a laugh. Until someone….maybe their lover, maybe just a random person online, says they can’t l make it until the end of November, now it’s serious and they don’t intend to lose.

9 inappropriate time. Pretty self explanatory. They want to cum but it’s kinda an inappropriate time for that.

10 grinding. They or their partner is grindinf and they are really into it but still can’t cum.

11. not enough they arenr being given enough to cum, this can be purposely or accidentally.

12 horny but too tired. They really want to cum but they are too tired to do anything and just ends uo falling asleep

13 free space. Anything to do with them not cumming in a sexual situation

14 killed the mood. Something happens while they are getting to the end. Maybe the cat knocked something down, maybe someone sneezed and it scared them. Whatever it is the mood dies

15 can’t cum without explicit permission. Pretty self explanatory. They aren’t allowed to finish without being told so

16 lover isn’t paying attention to the show.they are masterbating and their partner just isn’t paying attention to it, they will hold off cuming until their partner pays attention

17 lover is teasing. Be it via edging, a sexy outfit, risky hand placement. Their lover is teasing and it’s driving them mad

18 bored. They were into the sex but now they aren’t and they can’t cum because of it

19 waking up before the dream is over. That dream was almost done, they almost were able to cum when they wake up and suddenly it’s all ruined

20 sexting. They are sexting their partner and it’s getting pretty hot but without their partner there it’s just not the same

21 morning wood. They wake up with morning wood and it just won’t go away. They try to cum to get rid of it but they just can’t

22 too much. Over stimulation making it impossible to cum because it’s just too much for them to handle

23 forgot to let the cat out of the room. Again pretty straightforward. They were so damn close to cumming when socks decided it was time to jump on the bed and make their presence known. Or whatever situation the cat’s presence is discovered.

24 kids are suddenly awake. Pretty self explanatory again. The kids woke up and someone needs to go handle them before they come into the room.

25 finally able to cum. This is it. Character can finally cum. Could be a part two to another entry, could be a stand alone. If you did all 25 and linked them you have my respect and I also fear you as a writer.

[kikic777]

I posted 2,188 times in 2021

13 posts created (1%)

2175 posts reblogged (99%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 167.3 posts.

I added 2,399 tags in 2021

#the owl house - 676 posts

#toh - 635 posts

#toh spoilers - 389 posts

#the owl house spoilers - 363 posts

#amphibia - 94 posts

#amphibia spoilers - 56 posts

#lumity - 53 posts

#toh fanart - 47 posts

#across the spiderverse - 45 posts

#fanart - 41 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#she won’t trust him right away but she will be the one to point out that it’s a struggle to get rid of the mentality they both grew up with

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

How is everyone so fast with their spoiler art?!

It’s been a bit over a week since the episode aired so I don’t think I’ll need a spoiler warning slide. I still can’t believe it, though. We have canon main character girlfriends halfway through a season on a Disney channel cartoon. I can’t stop thinking of all the kids right now watching the show who are going to know that it’s okay to have crushes on and date people of any gender and that they’re not alone. It’s something I needed when I was in middle school and I’m just so freaking happy casual representation like this is comforting kids now.

31 notes • Posted 2021-08-09 23:43:02 GMT

#4

Joined the Quicksilver Exchange event hosted by @quicksilver-events

This piece is for @waltzingoftheoverflow and based on the prompt Multiverse Fam (Dadneto, Wanda, X-Quicksilver, Polaris.)

36 notes • Posted 2021-07-01 18:44:22 GMT

#3

A little late but I am continuing The Owl House Hiatus Challenge on Twitter! Last week’s character was Raine! I’m also going to keep messing around with foreshortening. It’s good practice!

Haven’t been able to post or be as active because I finally moved. However there’s no service at my new house and instead of giving us our stuff on Saturday, the internet company decided to mail it so it’s arriving later. 😭

37 notes • Posted 2021-08-31 22:17:03 GMT

#2

Matching profile pics for you and your narrative foil. Slight spoilers, but I made this before I saw Hunting Palismans and it weirdly fits.

Links to the images it’s based on below!

https://pin.it/4egTn7B

https://pin.it/66HnfKg

40 notes • Posted 2021-07-18 19:44:06 GMT

#1

Bad Girl Coven Fashion.

I like to think that Luz introduced everyone to DIY T-shirt activities. Kind of enjoyed this as a challenge because I find styling t-shirts really hard, despite the fact that it’s all I wore as a middle schooler 😅 I look at all of my old t-shirts now and the temptation to take a scissor to them grows every day…

67 notes • Posted 2021-08-18 20:24:02 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[star-anise]

Hi, star-anise. Would you mind giving me some advice? Recently there's a homophobe in my local fanfic community. She tries to indoctrinate people with homophobia. She demonizes yaoi, calling it sinful etc. She demonizes genderbend fics, calling it LGBT Agenda™️. She is undeniably queerphobic, not just about fiction. Apparently she's a part of fundamentalist cult. Also, she's a known serial harassers who habitually harass BL/slash writers. What do you suggest we do?

Damn, that sucks!

What kind of fannish infrastructure do you guys have? That is, do you all just hang out on the AO3 category/main Tumblr tag, or do you have things that you can control the membership of?

1. Encourage a positive fannish atmosphere - Decide on a core set of principles, or guidelines of behaviour, you want to encourage in fandom, whether that’s “Hate-Free” or “LGBT-Positive”, or put in rules like “No Homophobia, No Harassment”. Post things about the importance of representation and LGBT pride, or about the importance of fans treating each other respectfully. Try to build a culture of acceptance and inclusion that’s so lively and engaging that when she spews bullshit, it’s obvious a dissonant note.

2. Build fannish infrastructure - A fandom can just be the AO3 feed and a Tumblr tag. But the more you actively build spaces and institutions, the more you can shape the culture around it. For example, you can create a secondary fannish hashtag on Tumblr or Twitter where everyone hangs out and socializes, like #inclusive[fandom] or #hatefree[fandom] or #[fandom]rainbow, so someone who checks out the main fannish hashtag will see that many cool creative people are talking in this LGBT+-friendly space. You could use that tag on AO3, too.

Other types of fannish infrastructure: Rec blogs, ficathons, gift exchanges, theme weeks, podfic exchanges, Discord servers, or remix challenges. Give all of them an anti-harassment policy, for example, “This blog will not rec any work by a user who has harassed another fan in the last 6 months”, that both let you enjoy fandom without her, and give her an incentive to stop harassing people.

3. Make consequences happen - If she’s part of any group space you can control the membership of, use those rules or principles to kick her out. If people aren’t willing to kick her out permanently, then decide on a length of a ban, like 3 days, a week, or a month. Every time she says something bigoted? Kick her out. This might not stop her so much (I recommend a “3 strikes you’re out” policy to keep it from being a revolving door ban), but it will send a strong message to onlookers that this shit won’t fly, and they’ll get used to what things are like with her gone. 

If your common fannish space moderators won’t do that, get rid of them, or find a new fannish space. Seriously. If a moderator won’t set rules for basic good behaviour, or get rid of a toxic troll who constantly breaks them, they are of no use whatsoever.

If you can round up proof of her harassment or homophobia, you could also report her to the websites she uses. Twitter has a Hateful Conduct Policy and abusive behaviour policy, harassment and hate speech are against Tumblr’s Community Guidelines, and AO3 has a Harassment Policy. All these sites’ policies also forbid making extra accounts to get around a block. It’s really tedious, but for a long time now I’ve kept a folder in my computer where I keep screencaps of fannish abuse, harassment, or hate speech, in case I need to make a report or go, “Hey, the user you banned previously? They’re back using a new account.”

4. Help keep everybody safe -Let everybody know that blocking, reporting, and ignoring abusive users is the best way to go. Make that knowledge as easy for new users to find as what the shipnames are and who makes the best fanart. Teach people how to filter post content on Tumblr, remove certain users from AO3 searches (type -“creators: username”), or subscribe to a Twitter block list. 

5. Forgiveness is optional. Good behaviour is not - You can keep giving her chances to change if you like, or you can just cut her off. If she promises she has genuinely changed and really wants another chance, it’s up to you whether to give it to her--you don’t owe her forgiveness. If she really wants a “fresh start” she can go find another fandom where she hasn’t already hurt people. 

On the other hand, harassing her or sending her abusive messages isn’t okay. One of the sad realities of the Internet today is that if you name someone for bad behaviour, various people will take it upon themselves to target that person for harassment and abuse. Therefore, naming and shaming isn’t a great first line of defense because it’s so likely to have negative consequences. See what you can do first about making your fandom resilient against her bullshit, and removing her from your spaces, before doing it. Sometimes it is necessary to have a Canonical Callout Page explaining why everyone should block this person, or to have someone keeping tabs on her who can let everyone know if she’s renamed or changed accounts. However, that’s kind of a “if all else fails” scenario. Hopefully, you shouldn’t need it.

Good luck! <3 Gay rights, trans rights, have an awesome time in fandom.

[thedramaclubs]

Zazz

Summery: shits going down after prom and if you’ve seen the musical/movie be prepared for a gay panic from Patton

Warning: does get a little heated with one of the ships, and of course homophobia in the beginning

Ships: Logicality, Prinxiety, demus/dukeceit

When singing

Janus-orange (tumblr doesn’t have yellow)

Patton-blue

Both- purple

A few days after prom and things are going crazy. On Monday after school the news went to James Madison high to interview the school and Mrs Greene about what happened. Mrs Greene was now being interviewed.

“I’ve been told to say something. The courts said that Patton would not be safe if we allows him to attend prom with the other students because the uncomfortable truth is there are some people in our community that are offended by his life choices. We thought this arrangement was the only course of action.”

Suddenly news reports ask so many questions

“Mrs Greene are you homophobic?” “Are you saying sexuality is a life choice?” Then she exclaimed “ This is uncomfortable for me! To be infront of a camera like this. To read horrible things about my town. And I am just a mother. I am not any kind of a spokes person and I love all the students at James Madison high as much as my own son.” She walks up to Logan who was watching his mom being interviewed. “We are in this situation because of a group of people, privilege people from New York!”

She sighed

“They are the villains. You should be writing about them not us.”

Back at Patton’s house he and Janus we’re watching the interview on his computer. Patton had been in his room for days hiding from it all. He wore his cat onesie that Logan got for him on their 1 year anniversary of being together. He wore it because he wanted to feel like Logan was giving him a hug and he wanted to feel like Logan was their with him.

“Ugh that women totally doesn’t make my skin crawl!”

“I can’t wrap my head around all this. This is a nightmare. I’ve never been so alone in my life.” Patton started to cry a little. Janus pulled him into a hug.

“Your not alone you have friends.”

“Yeah, well where are they?” At that moment, Remus, Thomas, Joan, and Roman came in.

“Hey, we brought Haagen dazs.”

“It’s fancy ice cream.” Thomas Said as he had the bag

“I know what Hagen dazs is hand it over.” Patton grabbed the bag out of Thomas’s hands and Remus sat on the bed next to Pat.

“Are you Okay?”

“I’m amazing, the whole world is talking, making it sound like I’m the one responsible for it but no one is talking the hate there’s just so much hate. There’s so much hate.........I’m gonna need more of this shit.” Patton got the ice cream open and started eating his cookies and cream. Remus then started talking.

“Listen I know you said you don’t want our help anymore but we can’t let them get away with this. That pta women who the hell does she think she is?! I want her to get run over by a bus!!!”

“She’s a monster that’s what!”

Remus inhaled to calm down “Joan what can we do?”

“I don’t know. She’s spun this whole thing herself to make her look like the victim she’s good if she didn’t shop at dress barn she could work in P.R.”

Roman was just standing in the corner but felt like he should say something and so he did.

“I know everybody’s angry but we have to face the facts. We made matters worse. So the best thing we can do is disinfect our things and go home.”

Everyone said at the same time “NO WE ARE NOT LEAVING!!”

“We are always not leaving!! Please I want to leave this horrible place”

“No we are staying here we gotta turn this thing around. We gotta take back the press!”

“But how darling?” Said Janus as he was still on the bed.

“Patton you gotta be the face of this story you gotta go on tv and show the real asshole is!”

“And that will give him a prom?”

“This isn’t about prom anymore. This is about right and wrong you know what you have to do this right.

“I don’t know what I know.” Patton continue eating the ice cream.

“We need a national audience....what about Jimmy Fallon?”

“I can’t just pop Jimmy Fallon out of my ass!!” Exclaimed Joan. “If we want an audience we gotta go big and to to go big we have to use that one call to Eddie Sharp!” Everyone was in agreement except for Roman “No I am not calling that basterd!!”

“Just ask for a favor!”

“If I ask him for something he will want something in return and what he will want is the hamptons house. He trying to get it for years. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY DISNEY AND BROADWAY CRUISES I HAD TO PAY FOR THAT HOUSE!!!!! I would rather pluck my eyes out and put them in a vacuum and call that even!”

“If that will work just pluck your eyes out then!! *sigh* Joan just get the boy on tv. I don’t care if it’s a cut on family guy just do your magic.”

“Aye aye.” Joan left to try and get Patton on TV

“This is great.” Patton then decide to say something

“No not great. I’m sorry but their is no way I’m getting in front of a camera and telling my story. I cannot do that just no. Just accept it we lost deal with it.” Patton went to a corner and stood with his arms cross. Then Thomas came up with and idea.

“Ya know there might be a better way to rid of this community by extension of nation of this cancer of intolerance!” Everyone was dead silent

Eventually Remus asked “Why are you still here? I thought you had a tour?”

“Indianapolis was canceled and so was everywhere else. But I’m thinking feature forth and seek out the younger people and rap in a non musical sense. And soon understanding could lead to, dare I say it......love.” Thomas left and now there was Roman, Remus, Janus and Patton.

Patton turned around to see their faces and Remus broke the silence again “Listen kitty cat, I know this is hard but if you don’t do something, they will.”

At that moment Janus got an idea. “Don’t worry he’s got stage fright. I’ll talk to the kid.” Roman had already walked out leaving Remus and Janus outside the door.

“Are you sure about this Jannie?” Janus put his hand on Remus’s check and kissed him.

“Of course darling.” Said Janus very seductively. Remus couldn’t help himself he had been touch starved so and picked up Janus and pinned him against the wall.

“Damn why are you so hot?!” Remus passionately kiss the smaller man as Janus put his hands on Remus’s face pulling him in closer. Sadly, it came to an end because their was a another short man waiting for Remus.

“REMUS CMON!!” Remus put his husband down and gave him one last kiss “See you tonight Jan.” Remus left leaving him and Patton alone.

“You two really love each other huh?”

“Yeah I love him so much. He may be an idiot sometimes but, he’s my idiot.” Patton laughed a little then got back on track.

“Now before you lecture me or....kick me to death with those crazy Anatlope legs.....or whatever it is your gonna do, I know I should do something. I just can’t.” Janus walked back to the bed.

“Look kid, not everyone gets a chance to step out of the chorus. You gotta do this for all the those people who used to be gypsies.”

“I’m too scared.” He hid in the cat hoodie and Janus got an idea.

“Let me tell you a story. 1975 and the original company of “Chicago” was in previews. Suddenly the worst outbreak in history hit the cast and their down to the third cover for Roxie Heart and he’s scared just like you.” Patton took the hood off of his head to listen to the rest of the story.

“So, fosse was a real ball buster puttin him through a pain an he’s petrified. Even worse he’s performing the routine like a robot. So the boss pulls him aside and says “hey kid, snap out of it. You got the steps, you got the notes, but where’s the Zazz baby.”And although he had never heard that word before he knew exactly what it meant and he crushed that performance. The audience screaming bloody murdur.”

“And that boy was you?” Janus gave him a blank stare

“Yes it was me how fucking old fo you think I am!? It was 1975. But the point is every fosse boy knows that story. All about finding your inner strength.”

When a challenge lies ahead and you are filled with dread and worry

Give it some zazz

If your courage dissapers what’ll get you fears to scurry

Give it some zazz

Zazz is style plus confidence, it may seem corny or kitsch

But when scared or on the fence you’ll find that zazz will soon make fear become your bitch

And if folks say you can’t win what’ll will stop them in a hurry

Janus layed on the bed and kicked his leg up high that gave Patton a gay panic

Give it some zazz

There’s no contest for a boy who has some razzmatazz

So call their bluff

And strut your stuff

Like no chick in this hick town has

Instead of giving up

Give it some zazz

“I just don’t think I can do it. The thought of getting in front of all those people look at my hands their shaking”

“If your hands are shaking....”

Just turn’m into jazz hands

“Doesn’t that feel better?”

“No”

“Try this. Close your eyes.” Patton stood up and closed his eyes

“Zazz doesn’t just come out, it comes from within. Now think about Mrs Greene.” Patton put his hand across his face.

“Think about that fake prom!” He took his other hand and did jazz hands.

“Now think of finally doing something about it!” Patton started doing moves and it filled him and Janus with joy.

“Oh I’m seeing it! I’m seeing your Zazz! Now follow me!”

Do like the brave and bossy do

And if they tear you apart

Ask what would Bob Fosse do?

He’d make the people have a step ball change of heart

Ball change!!!

And if folks say you can’t win what’ll stop them in a hurry

Give it some zazz!!

There’s no contest for a boys who has some razzmatazz

So call their bluff BAM!

And strut my stuff BAM!

Like no chick in this hick town has

Instead of giving up

Give it some zazz

Now that you’ve found your zazz it’s time to show it to the world. You think you know how?

YEAH!!

People to tag @artissi-jam @patt-off @frogsandcookies @icantthinkofacreativeurl @actingonimpulse @purplestarrystars

I’m back!!!!

[severetimetravelnerd]

Hatred and Love (ft. G Dragon) Mafia AU

Part 4

Jiyong decides on what you mean to him.

(I don’t own any of the images used. All credit goes to the original owners.)

Taglist:

@unabashedturkeytreeslime​

@happiestgirlontheeastcoast​

@kwonnansi​

@aarfyie​

If there is anyone else who would like to be tagged, you can comment or leave me a message :))

I only write on this blog on tumblr, so if you see my work on any other platform, please let me know immediately.

Okay, so this is a mafia AU. It has appearances from Daesung, Taeyang, TOP, Mino, Hanbin and EXO (mostly Kai). This continues with the EXO storyline, but I feel like I should clarify that I have nothing against EXO :)) I love them, but I had to use someone for the plot

Warnings: Violence, Death(not main character), Injury, Blood, Eventual smut, Abduction, Guns and Knives, language, emotional breakdown.

————————————————————————–

Jiyong froze for a second, unable to comprehend the sheer amount of fear in your eyes. Without saying a word, he got up and slowly left. He shut the door behind himself and slid to the ground, holding his head in his hands. He needed to think for a while. He needed to get his priorities straight. He needed to think about what you meant to him and what that meant for his business. He needed to figure out a way to protect you, even from himself. He was, however, interrupted from his thought process by Hanbin angrily walking into his room. Glaring at Jiyong with ice cold hatred, Hanbin said, 

“Hyung, I told you to leave her alone.” 

Jiyong was equally shaken. For once, he didn’t get mad at Hanbin for questioning him.

 “Hanbin, what else was I supposed to do? Jaebum challenged my authority. I couldn’t just let that go.”

 Hanbin squatted down to his level, eyes pained.

 “Hyung, you shot the woman you love.” “I don’t love her!” 

Hanbin rolled his eyes.

 “Oh, for fuck’s sake hyung, are you going to lie to yourself now? You have literally never behaved like this around anyone else. And you’ve been with plenty of women. If she had been anyone else, you would have killed her by now. You would never have put her before a job if you didn’t.” 

Jiyong stayed silent, trying to understand what was going on in his mind. Hanbin continued. 

“You could’ve killed him for questioning you and then made sure that everyone knew she was important to you. That way, no one would’ve dared attack her. How many people do you think would dare attack her if they knew that she is Kwon Jiyong’s girlfriend?” 

Jiyong opened his mouth to try and explain how that would’ve made her a target for his enemies, but Hanbin cut him off again. 

“You think she isn’t already a target for our enemies? This is the longest you’ve taken to complete a job. And walls have ears. They would’ve figured out by now that she means something to you. Now, by shooting her, you’ve just hurt her without protecting anything.” 

Jiyong continued to remain silent. Hanbin got up and gave Jiyong one last look and said,

 “I’m going to go stay with her. Don’t come near her. You’ve done enough.”

Hanbin opened the door to your room, not surprised to find you still trembling. He hated the way Jiyong had made you. He went to the cupboard, got out another blanket and wrapped it around you. He slowly wrapped his arms around you, constantly checking if it were okay, and ran his fingers through your hair, lightly massaging your scalp, knowing that it was the quickest way to calm you down. Slowly, you stopped shaking and your breathing became steady. You looked up at Hanbin.

 “Hanbin, why? Why did he lie? Why did he say I was safe?” 

Hanbin didn’t know how to respond. How could he tell you that Jiyong was just that ruthless? You continued, staring up at him with big, mournful eyes.

 “Hanbin, he kissed me last night. He used to help me. He told me to find him if I was scared.” 

You paused again, tearing up a little. 

“Hanbin, I’m scared of him now. Where do I go? Who do I turn to?” 

Hanbin didn’t know how to answer that. As your friend, of course he realised you liked Jiyong, no matter how hard you tried not to make it obvious. The only reason he hadn’t warned you beforehand was because he thought Jiyong felt the same way. But since he could bring himself to shoot you, clearly, he didn’t.

 “Hanbin, I fell for him.”

 You gave him a shaky smile.

 “I’m an idiot, right? I should have known that it was all business for him. Maybe he was just trying to gain my trust to finish the job faster. Or maybe,”

 your voice cracked,

 “he was just looking for a quick fuck and I happened to be around.”

 You laughed again.

 “Clearly, I was the idiot who thought more of our ‘relationship’, if we can even call it that.” 

Hanbin had no words for you. He just continued to play with your hair until you finally fell asleep. He felt conflicted. He hated that Jiyong had made you doubt everything that had happened between the two of you, but he couldn’t exactly blame you for thinking that way. He was furious with Jiyong, but even then, even through all that, he knew his hyung cared about you. He might not be the best at showing it, but Hanbin knew how much you meant to him. He saw Jiyong’s face when he realised you were scared of him. He knew Jiyong was going to be way harsher on himself than anyone else would be. That night, Hanbin fell asleep there with you, holding your hand so that you knew you weren’t alone.

Jiyong never got up off the floor after Hanbin left. He was supposed to be thinking and trying to get things in order, but all he could see was you shaking in fear of him, over and over again. He looked down at his hand. It was shaking from the realisation that he made you that way. He stared in his hands in shock. Those were the same hands that pulled the trigger. He just wanted to get rid of those hands. He wanted to remove all traces of having harmed her, but he couldn’t. he couldn’t believe himself. He had lost the one person who trusted him blindly and made her scared of him. He had to make this up to you. He had to get your forgiveness. He knew he would never forgive himself for it, but he knew he had to beg for your forgiveness. You were the only person he would beg for, over and over again. He didn’t even know why. He just knew you were special. For a small second, he paused to think that you deserved better than this kind of world. This kind of life. He knew if he asked you out, and you agreed, you would have to deal with everything that came along with him. He wanted you to be safe. He sighed. Maybe he should just let you go. Let you get far away from this life. But then, Hanbin’s words came back to him. He had already made it too clear that you were important to him. His enemies would be out to get you. His head snapped back up. He would have to protect you. He was the one who got you into this mess anyway, so regardless of whether you forgave him or not, he had to protect you. He paused to think back to the previous night, your beautiful face when you looked down at him. What did you mean to him? What did he want to be to you? You were his safe space. You were the one person he didn’t have to be strong around. Your glare or your smile; it kept him going. You made him reconsider his life choices, and that is saying something. Hanbin was right. He loved you. Who did he want to be to you? He wanted to be your safe space, but he knew that wasn’t possible. He just wanted to be someone you could curl up with at the end of a long day. He wanted to be someone you could rely on. He wanted to be the reason you smile. It scared him that he felt that way. He had never really felt that way about anyone before, but he shook the fear from his head. It was his fear and inability to accept tings that led to him shooting you in the first place. And Kwon Jiyong never made the same mistake twice.

The next morning, he called a meeting. Everyone was there except for Hanbin, who was still with you and therefore, was there on speaker phone. Jiyong was sitting, eyes closed, thinking. Once everyone was there, he slowly opened his eyes.  He stood up, kicking the chair back and he started pacing. He slowly took out his dagger and started twirling it around, watching the way light was reflecting off of it. He was making them wait for him to talk. Without looking up from his dagger, he started.

 “You all remember what happened yesterday. With Y/N and Jaebum.” 

He paused to look around. The room was deadly still, just the way he liked it. 

“Jaebum was wrong. I’m still ruthless and I don’t think I have a weakness, but I will say this much. The woman sitting up there, she means everything to me. And I will go above and beyond for her.”

 He paused before a table, slamming the dagger in. He turned and glared at everyone, challenging them to say something.

 “And so, you should know, anyone who messes with her messes with me.” 

He looked up. He looked around, and he smiled. A smile that sent shivers down the spines of everyone who saw it, because it was a threat. The smile of a madman once angered. You sat back down, crossing his legs.

 “You all may leave now. Youngbae, Daesung, Seunghyun hyung, Mino and Hanbin; stay back.” 

Before anyone could leave though, one of the men jumped in front. Jiyong recognised him as Minhyuk, Jaebum’s friend. Sounding mad with grief, he screamed, 

“If he was right, then why’d you kill him?”

 Jiyong’s eyes turned deadly. He looked at Minhyuk, deciding not to kill him because he was probably grieving. It hit him that the old Jiyong would have killed him right there, but after meeting you, he had changed, and he didn’t hate it. He slowly walked up to Minhyuk, going so close that his face was only an inch away. He leaned in and whispered in Minhyuk’s ears,

 “He was wrong, she’s not my weakness, but that isn’t why I killed him. I killed him because he tried to humiliate me by questioning me in front of everyone. No one gets to do that. No one.” 

And he backed off, gesturing for everyone to leave. When the rest of his men had left, he turned around to speak to his friends. They were just waiting for him to say something, because they had all figured out he liked you before he did. Jiyong turned and sighed. “

Okay, so I need to up her security. Hanbin, you’re still in charge of her general health and well-being. Daesung and Mino, I want you guys to take care of her safety. I know you guys have a lot of stuff going on to take care off, but I need you to put your best men on the job.”

 He then turned to Youngbae and Seunghyun. 

“I need help. I need to cancel our client’s request. We can’t not complete an order, but I can’t allow this one to happen. Seunghyun hyung, can you take care of her uncle?” 

Seunghyun stood up, stretching his neck. In his low deep voice, he said, 

“Do you think just threatening him will do the job? Or should I…” 

Jiyong shook his head.

 “Just threaten him. She won’t want us to kill her uncle, no matter how much he wanted to kill her.” 

Youngbae was watching all of this silently. He was the only one among them who was married. He wanted Jiyong to have the same happiness he did, because, as the one closest to Jiyong, he knew that it was what Jiyong craved the most. Before they all left, Youngbae stopped and put his hand on Jiyong’s shoulder. 

“Jiyong, don’t lose her.”

 After that, Jiyong never really left his room, constantly waiting by the door to check whether you needed anything. Hanbin had to go back to work after a while, so he couldn’t be with you all the time, but Jiyong was always waiting behind the door separating the two of you, ready to help at the slightest notice. He had some odd work, because Jongin of EXO kept calling for a private meeting with him. When he first saw the request, he scoffed. If Jongin thought he would really meet him, he was an idiot. He just waved it off, telling Hanbin, who had given him the news to attend it instead. He never noticed how Hanbin paled a little when he saw the name Jongin. Hanbin was in denial. It couldn’t possibly be the same Jongin. But even though he was lying to himself, he decided that if it was, it was good that he was the one meeting him, and so, on the day of the meeting, Hanbin armed himself more than usual and set off, feeling vaguely uneasy about it.

Hanbin got to the place Jongin had chosen, a rather unusual choice for a meeting place, that is, a café. Hanbin sat down across from the only man with rather suspicious bulges under his clothing, denoting hidden weaponry. Jongin put down the book he was holding and smiled. It was not a warm smile.

 “Hanbin, what a pleasure to finally meet you.” 

Hanbin’s eyes darkened and his glare deepened. He just responded with a nod and a curt, 

“Jongin.” 

Jongin leaned back in his chair, and still smiling, he said,

 “Why the animosity?” 

Suddenly, his eyes darkened. 

“After all, you’re not the one who had someone important to them abducted.” 

Hanbin didn’t say anything and just stared at Jongin, trying to read him. Jongin continued. 

“Where is she? Why was she shot? Who shot her?” 

Hanbin still didn’t answer. Hanbin slowly lifted his eyes. 

“We’re not going to give her back.” 

Jongin slowly took out his phone and placed it on the table. He struggled to smile and said, 

“Well then, I guess it’s official. I’m going to have to speak to the others now.”

You were in the room, just lying down, thinking about everything that happened. You felt like an idiot for it, but you couldn’t get Jiyong out of your mind. Yes, you were terrified of him, but at the same time, you missed him. You missed the times when the two of you would just sit in silence. You couldn’t stop thinking about the night he held you, comforting you because of the storm. You couldn’t stop thinking about the way he tried to joke to make you worry less. You couldn’t stop thinking about how things just didn’t add up. Why would he behave that way if he was going to shoot you? You couldn’t understand. the two images of the saw he looked at you that night and the way he looked at you when he shot you were driving you insane. You sighed and rolled on the bed when suddenly, you noticed a shadow that didn’t belong to you. You looked up, hoping that it was Hanbin, or even Jiyong, but it was a man you didn’t recognise. He was just standing there staring at you, waiting for you to notice him. When he realised you had, he started smiling. A deranged smile.

 “Hi Y/N.” 

You stood up, trying to hide your fear. If there was anything your time there had taught you, it was to never show your fear. They thrive off it. 

“And who are you?”

 He started laughing, and it was terrifying.

 “Me? I’m just the friend of the guy he murdered for you.” 

He extended his hand in a hand shake. 

“I’m Minhyuk.” 

 You slowly tried to reach for the torch near your bed. Anything to hit him with. To distract him, you asked, 

“What do you want from me?” 

Again, he laughed.

 “Nothing Y/N. I just want you dead. Or maybe I should take you to EXO. I hear Jongin is looking for you.” 

And he took out his gun and aimed it at your head. 

“Move any closer to that torch and I shoot.” 

You froze. You slowly stood up and put your hands up, trying to think of how to get out of the situation. He came closer and you backed away further.

 “Y/N, stop hiding. I just want to have fun.”

 You were terrified. That guy had to be insane. Your back hit a wall and his smile became wider.

 “Looks like you’re trapped Y/N.”

And he stopped moving and pulled the trigger. You closed your eyes, thinking it was the end, when you felt a pair of strong arms pull you away. Jiyong quickly pulled you away and turned you around, so that your head was buried in his chest. His voice deadly serious and the angriest you had ever heard him, he said, 

“Y/N, you might want to close your eyes. This is not going to be pretty.” 

And he took out his gun. Before he pulled the trigger, he covered your ears with his other hand and leaned down to plant a kiss on your forehead. 

“I’m sorry, but I swear, I’ll keep my word now. You’re safe.”

[avengerscompound]

Redoing my Taglist (again)...

If you want to be tagged in my fics, please read under the cut:

The why of it:

Like many writers and creators on Tumblr, I've been experiencing a lack of interaction on this site.  While I understand the engagement on the site, in general, is changing and has been since the great porn ban.  I have also been noticing a drift away from the fandom in general.

Knowing this doesn't change the fact it is discouraging.  It is changing how I personally want to create content.  In the past, I would be encouraged to write more for you.  I would write more requests.  I’d answer asks for headcanons.  Write more neglected characters and rare-pairs.  I'd make sure I'd have a W|W fic every week.  I'd write things that maybe weren't exactly to my taste but I knew it would be well received.

The lack of engagement has changed how I feel about that.  I have already stopped taking requests.  Where I was signing up for a lot of challenges I'm now not.  I’m now going to be writing for me.  I'll still write the looked over characters and rare-pairs and W|W but when I have a story I want to tell.  There will be fewer one-shots and more series.

So what does that mean?

I recently redid my taglist because I felt like I was tagging a bunch of people who didn't want to be tagged.  While the number of people did drop on it; it wasn't nearly as much as I expected given the lack of engagement, and since I did it that engagement has dropped even more.  I have fics I post right now that are getting fewer notes than the number of people I tag and that includes the reblogs I personally make.

The only conclusion I can make is I'm writing things you don't want to read.  Which is fine.  I'm generally enjoying the content I'm making these days.  But tagging people in it who don't want to be tagged is a waste of both my time and yours.  Tagging is annoying and time-consuming and I don't want to be doing it unless the people actually genuinely want me to do it.

I've been wracking my brain lately trying to work out what to do about it.  I considered being like many other writers here who just stopped tagging all together but I honestly don't want to be that person.  I know personally if I don't get tagged by the authors I love I often miss the fic completely, even if they do have a side blog for their writing.  I considered having an I'm only tagging if you comment rule.  But a) that's more time consuming than just tagging you and forgetting about it.  And b) I don’t want to be the person who threatens you to love me.  I am fine with tagging people who don't interact if they genuinely want me to and are reading even if they don't comment.

Then I had an idea.  Because I'm going to be focusing more on story arcs over one-shots I'm going to change my whole system of tagging.  I am getting rid of all the sections.  There will now be PERMANENT and SERIES TITLES.  That's it.  If you go on my permanent tag list you will get tagged in every one-shot I write plus the first chapter of any series I start.  Yes, this will mean if you only like reading Steve you're gonna get tagged in stuff you don't want but it won't happen often and honestly the difference between my everything list and the people on my other lists is insignificant anyway.  After the first chapter of a series, you will have to tell me if you wish to continue being tagged in the series.  I don't care how you tell me.  Send an ask.  DM me. Comment on the fic.  Go to the doc and add yourself in.  If you don't tell me I won't continue tagging you.  That way no one's time is wasted.  You can still keep getting tagged in the content you want.  I don't have to spend ages tagging people in things they have no interest in.

What to do. READ CAREFULLY:

Add your name to the permanent list and/or the series you wish to be tagged in.  If you aren't on the series list you won't be tagged in it.  LINK HERE: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1uoXUNd74dtap11CuDDsQWVBc-Ur_I5H17588yyl-PKk/edit?usp=sharing

When you are tagged in the first chapter of a series ignore it if you have no interest.  If you do want to read it contact me or add yourself to the list for that fic.  If you don't you will no longer be tagged in the fic. (I'll put a Reminder when I tag you)

Remember I do have a side blog where I reblog all my fics. @avengerslibrary​.  If this system doesn't work for you for whatever reason just follow that and turn on notifications.

Currently, the tag list looks like this.  If you can't get into the doc now send me an ask or DM (COMMENTS WILL BE IGNORED AS I LOSE THEM IN THE NOISE OF THE BLOG) with what you want to be tagged in:

Permanent:

The Tower (a long-running fic written with @fanficwriter013 about an OC named Elly in a polyamorous relationship with all the Avengers):

Bartoned (Clint Barton X Reader fic about a reader who gets pregnant to Clint on a one night stand and how they go from lovers - to friends - to parents, to being married when neither is really the relationship type):

The remainder of my Bruce Banner bingo fics (there aren't many left, most will be Bruce/Reader.  Some not):

Running to a Standstill (Stucky X Reader fic about a single mother trying to keep her enhanced child safe from an organization hunting them and a couple of supersoldiers who are determined to protect her):

The Hamptons House (Tony Stark X Reader fic about Tony and a reader meeting at Tony’s 18th birthday party and spending the week together.  They then agree to meet once every three years to relive the feeling they got from their first encounter):

What not to do:

Don't add yourself if you don't actually want to read the fics.

Don't ask to be added via a comment on this post (asks and DMS only or preferably if you can go to the doc and add yourself in)

Don't add yourself in without reading what to do ( @mumbles411 I'm looking at you)

Don't add yourself because you consider me your friend and you think if you don't I'll be offended when you actually have no intention to read things or you think you might maybe read one or two but then you never actually do.  I promise I still like you.  My liking you has nothing to do with whether or not you read my fics. 

Don't add yourself if you've changed fandom and you think maybe one day you might come back to this fandom and read stuff.  Add yourself when you are reading things or go follow my side blog @avengerslibrary​.  Also, I have a Masterlist you can look over anytime you’re feeling nostalgic.

I will switch over to the new list on the 1st of May

[nazario-sayeed]

Vulnerable (Mal x F!Elf)

Summary: I used two prompts I found here on tumblr to write this fic: "I turned out liking you a lot more than I originally planned.” and “Do you think they can hear us through the tent?” “Yes, we can.” I think that's pretty self explanatory isn't it 

Author’s note: This is my first Mal x MC fic but I already have a few others planned, hopefully I'll work on them soon. I named it after Vulnerable by Selena Gomez, so that's my recommendation for today. English is not my first language. 

Word count: the last time i checked it had 2.1k words but I added some things.

Warnings: it’s not exactly smut but it’s close. Some swearing too, a bit of angst. 

Masterlist

Tagging: @moonlightfreya @soft-for-drake @dailydoseofchoices @nyastarlight @magdagamaleldin @otomegamesaremydrug @brightpinkpeppercorn @laragazzaconunsogno​ @magdagamaleldin @virtuallytakenby​ 

permanent tag list: @lahelalove @donutsgirl36 @queenkaneko @msjpuddleduck​ @flyawayboo @jlpplays1 @desireepow-1986 @embarrassingsmartphonegame @mfackenthal @cerisesayeed-ramsey​ @malsvolari​

Trying to get the shards meant spending a lot of their time moving around Morella, following the leads from one place to another and camping in unusual and unfamiliar places. They were used to it; Myriani went hunting, Nia and Tyril set up camp, Mal collected fruits and plants they could eat, Imtura chopped down wood to make a fire, Threep kept sleeping unbothered. They had a routine, and they were good at it.

By the time the sun went down, they were gathered around the fire, passing the flask with ale between each other and listening to the same stories they had heard Mal tell at least 10 times- something about contessas and alcohol. None of them bothered listening anymore. Somewhere along the bumpy road, their party became quite close. Two elves, two humans, an orc and a nesper sounded like the beginning of a joke, but somehow they worked well together. They protected each other, fought for each other and enjoyed each other's company- even Tyril was caught smiling every now and then.

They were all exhausted that night, so they went to their tents right after they ate whatever animal it was that Mariani had hunted for them. That night was colder than they were used to; winter was showing its first signs. Their tents were set up close to the fire that they hoped would last all night. 

Myriani couldn’t sleep; she kept tossing and turning in her tent until she gave up sleep altogether with a sigh. She couldn't stop thinking about her brother- everyday they got closer to finding the next shards, but they still had so much ahead of them. With each passing day, the possibility of finding him felt more and more thin. 

She closed her eyes and let her elf senses feel the atmosphere around her, trying to sense some peace within the woods around her and fall asleep. Instead, she felt that the person in the tent next to hers wasn’t sleeping either. Mal.

I could go join him in his tent, she thought to herself. It wouldn’t be the first time they’ve slept together, in the literal meaning of the word. Kissing and sleeping together. That's all they had done so far- sneaking in each other's tents or rooms to make out until both of them passed out, usually too exhausted to do more. But she wanted more. Sometimes she wanted him so badly it hurt. She knew he wanted her too; whenever they were kissing and she straddled him, she could clearly feel just how badly he wanted her.

When they were alone together, sometimes she caught glances of the real Mal, the man underneath the character he had built for himself. He seemed vulnerable and real for a few seconds- but before she could truly appreciate it he went back to his act. She liked his flirty and carefree personality, but behind his crooked smirk and teasing comments there was a real man who she liked even more. In the mornings after they had spent the night together, when they were with the group again, he always pretended nothing had happened. He came back to telling his many tales as an adventurer, his sex escapades and whatever else he thought would fit his reputation best. She didn't know if she ever expected anything different, but she couldn't deny it stung a little.

She debated on her head if she should really go to his tent, even if she already knew she would eventually give in- so she did. She silently got out of her tent and crawled to his, carefully opening it. When she poked her head through the tent, she saw Mal instinctively reaching for the dagger he kept by his side, relaxing when he realized it was her.

“You should be more careful next time. I was close to throwing a dagger at you” he said with a smirk and she rolled her eyes, climbing in the tent and closing it behind her.

“I’d like to see you try, Mal the Magnificent” she said back and he let out an amused chuckle, leaning back and resting his head on his crossed arms.

“Did you come into my tent to challenge me for a duel or do you have something else in mind?” he said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. She rolled her eyes again and threw the pillow she had brought with her at him, feeling glad that the poor lighting wouldn’t let him see the blush on her cheeks.

“Get your mind out of the gutter” she said, laying down next to him, blaming their proximity on the small space of the tent. She could barely make out his face in the dark, the only light coming from the fire burning weakly outside their tent.

“I just couldn’t sleep, and I knew you were still up so…” she trailed off, and he turned to face her, searching for her eyes.

“What’s keeping you awake, kit?” he asked and she could tell it was an honest question, like he actually cared about the answer. About her, even. 

“It’s just… this journey has been the most exhausting thing I’ve ever been a part of, but it’s also the most fun I ever had. It’s a bittersweet feeling because I’m having the time of my life finally living the adventure I always dreamed of, but Kade isn’t here to share it with me. It was his dream too and I….” her voice broke. “I don’t know. I wish he was here too.”

Mal reached between them to give her hand a small squeeze.

“I don’t know if we’ll be able to bring your brother back, Myriani. But if there’s one team that can do it, it’s ours” he said, sounding more optimistic than she could ever remember him being. She could feel the honesty on his voice.

“Mal, was that you being supportive and optimistic? What’s happening to you?” she asked him with fake concerned, and he laughed.

“Your lot has been a bad influence on me. Mostly you and the priestess” she couldn’t see the smile on his face but she could hear it.

“You probably can’t wait to get rid of us huh” she tried to tease him, hoping it had sounded casual enough. The truth was that deep down, she was scared he would agree. She knew Mal was lonely wolf, that he went where he could find the best opportunity for him. But after all of these weeks they had spent together- kissing, talking, getting to know each other- some part of her hoped he wouldn’t leave as soon as their mission was over. She didn’t know exactly what she expected, but she wished she had time with him after all of this to figure it out.

“I…” he started, hesitating for one second too long to make Myriani instantly regret what she had said. Before she could say anything to take it back, he went on, his confident tone back “Nah, you’re not all bad. I turned out liking you a lot more than I originally planned”

"Are you going soft on me now?" she asked, her voice too shaky to be casual. He smiled and instead of answering he tentatively moved his hand that was on top of hers to her hips, her skin on fire where he was touching her over her clothes.

“Mal…” she whispered, closing her eyes as his hands move up her sides to the back of her neck, his calloused hand caressing her skin.

“I don’t think I wanna talk anymore. Do you?" he said, his voice just the right amount of teasing and seriousness. She knew he was dodging her question, but at that moment, she didn't give a fuck. 

Instead of answering him, Myriani pressed her lips to his in a soft kiss. He let out a soft gasp and pulled her closer, deepening the kiss.

She threw her legs over his hips before he could react, straddling him. He barely had time to groan his approval before she leaned down and kissed him more passionately.

Mal moaned softly into her mouth as she grabbed his long hair and pulled it  hard. His hands explored her sides, her hips, her backside- anywhere he could find. With each second, their kiss grew more heated and their movements were more intense.

One of her hands slid under his shirt, feeling his firm muscles reacting to her touch. She traced every line of his stomach with her hand, tracing the hair there with her fingers to where it disappeared under his pants. Just as her hand brushed the waistband of his pants, she pulled back from him, making him groan his disapproval.

“Take off your shirt, please” he could tell by her tone it wasn't a request- it was an order. 

"So polite..." He teased, making a show of removing the shirt. 

As soon as his shirt was off, she leaned down to kiss him again. More heated, more passionate, rougher. She traced kisses down his jaw and neck, biting him with just enough strength to leave a mark.

His own hands didn’t stop exploring her body, pushing her skirt over her long legs, until his hands were above her knees, sliding closer and closer to where she was now aching for him. She rolled her hips on top of him, moving in a way that could only be described as griding on the very obvious bulge on his pants. It felt so good, it felt too good- they couldn't help the cry that left both of their mouths.

They kept kissing and touching each other, his hands already undoing the laces on her clothes when she heard something outside the tent. She froze and pulled back, attentitve to every movement and sound around them.

It was dark, but she could only imagine what they looked like at that moment. Him with his shirt off, his hair a mess from all the pulls she gave it, his lips swollen and his neck and chest already showing some of the marks she left there. Her with the laces on her outfit half undone, her skirt hiked to her waist barely covering her hips. Both of them panting, trying to catch a breath.

“Did you hear that?” She whispered. He stopped, trying to listen to whatever she had heard. But his senses weren't as heightened as hers.

“Hear… what?” He said back, don’t minding the interruption and sliding his hands up her bare legs “The only sound I heard was you moaning and-“

"Shh!" She put a finger to his lips to shut him up and there was the sound again, like someone shuffling around but trying to keep quiet. 

Only then she seemed to remember they were in a tent in the middle of the woods with four of their companions sleeping a few feet away. Very exposed, not at all alone. She thought they were all asleep when she sneaked out but… Myriani and Mal hadn’t been exactly quiet, someone could've easily woken up. She heard a quiet cough and Mal seemed to have heard it this time too, because she could feel his body tensing up under her.

“Do you think they can hear us through the tent?” She asked in a low voice that she hoped only Mal could hear.

“Yes, we can” all of their companions- Tyril, Nia, Imtura and even Threep- said in unison. Tyril sounded exhausted, Nia sounded embarrassed and Imtura sounded amused. Threep sounded like a mix of all three. Well, if they heard that, they definitely heard everything else, she thought to herself. 

Mal’s and Myriani’s eyes met in the dark and although some part of them felt embarrassed to have been overheard by their group while they heavily made out in the middle of the night, they burst out laughing together. She was laughing so hard she fell on top of him, trying to muffle the sound by burying her face onto his chest while he rubbed her back trying to calm her down- but he was laughing just as hard.

Outside the tent they head a long sigh.

“Can you please, please stop? Some of us want to get some sleep before we have to spend all day tomorrow traveling through the woods” Tyril was done with their bullshit. They heard a small chuckle in the tent next to theirs- Imtura.

“Sorry, guys. We’ll tone it down” Myriani said, still feeling low-key amused.

“I much appreciate it. Goodnight” Tyril said, annoyed; this time Mal and Myriani managed to hold back their laugh. 

“We’ll pick up from here another day?” She said to Mal with a smirk, his hands on her back.

“You better be fucking sure we will” he pulled her face down for one last kiss before she climbed out of him and let him wrap his arm around her, his bare chest to her back. She was at least 10 inches taller than him but somehow they made it work. She felt comfortable sleeping with his arms around her.

He kissed the back of her neck and she let out a content sigh, snuggling against him.

“Goodnight, Mal”

“Night, kit”

She felt his breath on the back of her neck and his heart beating against her back- it felt so right to be like that. She ignored the part of her brain that kept telling her this would end with a goodbye and a broken heart. At that moment, it was enough to feel his arms holding her close. She could let herself be vulnerable and hoped he would too. 

[pokemontrashfics]

dUDE! I wasn't sure if you wrote sMUT, but, BOY DO YOU! Good lord, do you write it... And it was absolutely AMAZING! If it's okay, could I request Leon with a usually lwo-key cocky s/o being too embarassed to tell him they'd like him to be a bit more "dominant" in the bedroom, so deciding to try their luck and egg him on, push his button and act innocent all day long in hopes of making him snap? (Also I was wondering if you had any SWSH favs by any chance? ;3) Thanks for sharing your writing! :D

Leon with a confident s/o who is too embarrassed to ask him to be more dominant, so they try to push his buttons and get him riled up. 

I’m glad you like it! I tend to get less engagement on posts that include smut, probably because I tag them NSFW you know cause that’s how this website works but tumblr decides ‘fuck this’ and buries it where no one can see it, so I’ll probably have to stop putting that tag and just make sure I put it under a ‘read more’ thing even though every time I try to put one in, tumblr says ‘fuck that’ and it doesn’t show when I check the post. If it doesn’t work this time, someone let me know and I’ll try to fix it. 

Edit: I totally forgot you asked about my faves! Sorry about that! I really like Hop, usually in a pokemon game I end up naming my rival ‘buttface’ because usually the rivals are kind of mean, but Hop is a really likable character. I also liked Leon, even though he doesn’t know how to dress himself. He channels all my college student disaster traits like getting lost a lot, I like milo a lot too. He’s so fucking cute, and he’s so soft and smiley, I just wanna hug my farmer boy. Tbh I think all of the characters were designed really well, I didn’t like Oleana until she snapped and battled me. Then I finally got to see her range of facial expressions and that was really hilarious. Have you seen that gif of her throwing her dyanamax pokeball? It’s hilarious. 

This post contains nudity and sexual content, read at your own discretion. 

I’ve always been a confident and self assured person so I’m not sure why this particular conversation was throwing me off. I knew I should just ask him. I kept telling myself: ‘It’s fine, just have an honest conversation with him, just open your mouth and make words.’ but that’s a lot easier said than done. Cause even though I’m confident, sometimes I really just want to be held down to the bed and fucked. 

Then I realized, well why don’t I try to tell him without saying it outloud. Maybe if I tease him enough, he’ll get so frustrated that he just pounces on me.

It was the next night when I set my plan into motion, the first few things had to be subtle. I wore some pants he had complimented before, saying they looked amazing on my thighs. He was at a long meeting coordinating the next gym challenge so I made dinner before he got home that night. I wanted to make the sensual touches very subtle so all I did for now, was spray a little room spray before he walked in the door. He smiled when he saw me. 

“Hi, sweetheart.” He kissed my cheek. I smiled softly. 

“Hi, how was your day?” I let my hand rest on his arm, rubbing absentmindedly as I listened to him talk about the gym challenge and how many kids they could take and who they were accepting endorsements from. 

“Did you make me food?” He asked finally noticing the plates on the table. 

“Sure did, I knew you would be hungry.” I let my hand run down his chest this time. I could feel him get a little flustered as I pulled away, perfect. 

After dinner, we curled up to watch T.V together and I rested my head on his shoulder, letting my knee bump his. This was where things really came to a head, I pretended to watch what was on t.v while I traced my fingers along his chest and stomach. I could feel his breath hitch as I got lower on his stomach before moving back up again. He shifted a little and I could tell he was waiting for me to do what I normally did and push him down on the couch. But I just kept at it. He wasn’t making any moves so after a while, I put my other hand on his thigh pretending to get really into whatever was going on on the T.V. Some chef screaming about something being ‘fucking raw!’ I heard Leon let out a soft groan, I was getting there. I pretended to knock over my empty cup and bent down to get it so my butt was directly in his line of sight. That’s when he broke. I felt his arms around my waist and he pulled me into his lap. I could feel his dick hard against my thigh. 

“Leon, are you okay?” 

He growled softly, “come here.” He pulled me into the bedroom and I felt my heart flutter, I knew I was in for a good time when he started kissing me. Normally, Leon’s kisses are very soft and sweet before they get hot and heavy. This time, he went straight for it. I knew I had riled him up enough. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled at his hair lightly knocking his hat off. He growled into my mouth again and picked me up, holding my thighs, squeezing hard. I gasped, and squirmed against him. Yes, this was perfect. 

“Were you trying to get me all worked up?” he asked into my neck between kisses and nibbles. 

“M-maybe.” I said between soft moans and heavy pants. 

“Cause it worked, I hope you’re ready for this.” That made me shutter in anticipation, 

He walked over to the bed with me and dropped me onto the sheets climbing on top of me. I felt myself go pink, we had never done it like this before, I had always been on top. 

Leon was pressing me down to the bed, kissing my neck his hands in my hair, I could feel him leaving hickies and I knew I’d have to wear a scarf to work tomorrow. He pulled my clothes off, and I fumbled to undress him too. Soon, we were both naked and aroused. He reached down and started to pleasure me, grinning as I moaned, my back arching off the bed. 

Through my moans I told him: “I… gah, I already got ready for you earlier…oohh… Already fingered myself, so it won’t hurt.” 

That made him chuckle, “you were that determined to get fucked tonight, huh?” he said running his hand down my side. 

I nodded, “I’ve been determined.” I grinned. My cheeks were flushed, I was panting and it felt so good. 

Leon rolled on a condom and got some more lube, he took hold of my hips lining up carefully. He kissed me softly before pushing in. I moaned, even though I was ready for it, fingers and toys don’t hold up to the real thing. Having Leon, the person I love more than anyone else, inside me was so incredible. He leaned over me his face in my shoulder, panting hard. I trailed my fingers through his hair, waiting for him. He looked up at me, his face red and his pupils dilated. 

“I love you so much.” And that was what made me happier than anything. 

When he started to thrust, all I could do was hold on and let it happen. I was moaning, my head back my arms around his neck and my ankles locked around his waist as he thrust into me. 

I could tell he was having a good time too, the way he would gasp my name like a prayer, the way he held my hips, the way he kissed me. It was all too much. He felt incredible inside me, we had worked together on this so he knew exactly where to thrust to make me feel good. Exactly where to touch me, if I was having a hard time hitting my orgasm. 

He didn’t have to use any of his tricks tonight, though. I was putty in his hands. I came undone in his arms, seeing stars behind my eyes as my body convulsed in pleasure. He was close too I could tell, as his thrusts became more erratic, more frantic. It wasn’t long before he was cumming too. It was a long while before either of us had the brain capacity to move. Leon carefully pulled out of me and got rid of the condom. He kissed me softly. 

“I’m so glad you did that.” he said against my lips, I couldn’t help but laugh. 

“I’m glad you liked it so much.” 

We showered together and spent the rest of the night cuddling in bed.

[aahsoka]

So having been on tiktok for a bit I wanna talk a little about it.

What I like

It’s actually rather entertaining to scroll through up to 30 second videos one after the other. Sometimes the humor falls flat or it’s not your taste, but the algorithim is quite good at recommending the kind of content you will like.

I joined right when there was a big trend going around about sharing your culture, and soon after a Blackout trend where non-Black creators stopped posting for a day & spread/supported videos by Black creators. So I ended up with a fairly diverse fyp or “for you page”. It also quickly gathered that I am bisexual, so I get plenty of lgbt+ content. There’s some art mixed in there, some cosplay, some historical costuming/seamstresses, lots of avatar jokes lately, musical theatre content, fashion, girls in bikinis on rollerskates (in outer space), commentary on political issues, body positivity, all the kinds of stuff I like. To get a feed that caters to your interests you just have to watch & like videos you’re interested in & eventually it gets a feel for what you’ll watch and what you won’t.

Theres a trend where people say which ‘side’ of tiktok they’re on and I get ‘science side of tumblr’ flashbacks but I’ve mostly avoided the “straight” and conservative sides of tiktok. I would be considered a part of “woke”, “alt” (as in alternative) and lgbt+ tiktok (there are separate ones for each letter of the acronym). Possibly also “theatre” and “cosplay” tiktok. These categories are nebulous and you’re usually part of multiple communities; its just as arbitray as ‘science side of tumblr’ was.

The format reminds me of snapchat a little, and I love to talk to myself on video & post dumb thirst traps for my friends (none of which I’m attracted to so idk what my goal is there) and make stupid jokes. So this app is kinda perfect for my attention seeking side & hyperactive tendencies. Its very easy to consume on a short attention span, though not as easy as vine was.

Being in quarantine, its a way for a lot of people to engage in hobbies that involve community. Cosplay is pretty popular, as its a fun way to show off a costume & dress up & have fun without having to attend a convention. I enjoy the way lip synced audios can be used to emulate the character someone is dressed as; that’s something you couldn’t really do unless you were really good at impressions. Its a nice succinct way to show the process of creating a cosplay as well.

Those who enjoy theatre, but cannot perform in shows at this time, are able to create mini-monologues & sketches as well as sing parts of their favorite songs. Its an avenue through which to perform without putting anyone at risk of the virus. It’s also an easy way to show off your talents without having to go through the audition process & actually get cast in a show as a prominent enough role that someone will notice it.

It’s a convenient format for discourse and educational videos. Nice, short, easily digestible tidbits that stay in your mind. This extremely catchy song, for example: “Black neighborhoods are overpoliced, so of course they have higher rates of crime, and white perpetrators are undercharged, so of course they have lower rates of crime. And all of those stupid stats you keep using are operating off a small sample size. So, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up”.

As well as other videos where people take the time to explain historical events, satirize racist arguments to demonstrate why they are wrong, talk about prevalent tropes in movies, teach a few signs in ASL, share facts about their culture, etc, etc. I have found there are quite a lot of people there from unique and fairly unknown cultures and backgrounds- and this is a place where they’re able to share their culture & existence with people all over the world. There are a thousand different viewpoints. Their videos are doing far more for diverse representation than any other platform, I’d argue, as everyone is extremely visible on the app. (‘Their’ as in the creators, not the app itself).

I also have enjoyed coming across new artists on the app. It’s really fun to watch the process they go through, as most art videos deal with the whole creation of a piece. It’s inspiring. I have also come across a painter who’s work I’m in love with, and a woman who makes and sells the CUTEST ceramic mugs, and I need to purchase some stuff from them both.

Now onto the bad:

Unfortunately, the app doesn’t have much in the way of a filtering or warning system. I talked about that tiktok of the kids coming across human remains? That was just on people’s fyp. Just popped up. No warning. No reason for it to still be up. Traumatizing.

You can click on a video and say ‘not interested’ (I do this to literally every video I get where some girl is thirsting after kylo ren 🤮..... like I want the star wars videos just not THOSE videos). However, it doesn’t seem to know exactly why you weren’t interested, because I still get those videos from time to time. There’s no content filter where I can blacklist the kylo ren or any other hashtag.

There’s some very shitty content. There are racist conservatives. Misogynistic teen white boys. Really weird thirst traps. Videos where people lip sync to something with a straight face and tag it with #acting. Harmful body image trends. I thankfully stay very clear of this, but this kind of content makes me worry for the minors on the app. The one’s who don’t have enough of a concept of self yet to realize they don’t need to be able to do the newest pointless beauty trend to be beautiful, to realize it’s ok for them to be gay, to realize how predatory some adults can be, etc etc.

It is extremely easy to come across minors on the app who don’t look like teens. One time I went to a girl’s page and it said she was FIFTEEN. I’m usually good at guessing ages but something about this app messes that up. I wish there was a way to separate people under 18 and adults. Where I don’t have minor’s thirst traps popping up on my fyp. Where pedophiles don’t get a chance to curate that fyp intentionally. If anyone reading this has kids, I highly recommend they make their tiktok private or only viewable to friends.

Just like any site, there are plenty of bigots. Lots of racist comments. Plenty of transphobia. Any hatred you’ve seen elsewhere, of course it exists on tiktok. I have actually zero clue if you can report people & if it works. Most people seem to send a video commentary to their haters or duet a video of a racist pointing out their racism. I’ve heard of creators blocking people, however. I remember a tiktok of a Black woman who’s video somehow went fairly viral in Poland and now she gets a lot of racist comments from this large group of random racisf Polish followers she has and its extremely time consuming to block them all, as there’s no mass block feature.

The rumors about what works with the algorithm and doesn’t abound. I’ve heard well lit videos get more views. Many people suspect they have been shadowbanned for speaking out about current events. TikTok will remove the audio from videos sometimes if they deem it controversial enough. Most of us know they were criticized recently for intentionally keeping Black creator’s videos from being seen (a catalyst for the Blackout, actually). Or you may also recall when it was criticized for widely removing lgbt+ content. Those creators are fighting to be seen the same amount as straight cis white creators are allowed to be seen with no effort.

The effects some trends could have on teen girls. So many of them are already so uncomfortable in their own skin simply because of societal standards, but the absolutely meaningless challenges people come up with on tiktok make it so much worse. One trend was based around whether your finger touched your lips when you put it in your nose. Or if you could get your clasped hands around the back of your legs and over your butt (if they get passed, you have a flat ass, if they get stuck, its big). These completely arbitrary signifiers of the things you need to have in order to be pretty, are far more ridiculous that anything I have seen yet in my life. I worry about little girls taking these ideas to heart. There is a very kind body positive community on the app & I hope more people can find that.

There’s also that thing where they steal your data. Like most apps. But apparently they got a lot more invasive than usual, so I would look into it before making an account; if you want to do that.

I think the apps users can be great & its a pretty intuitive set up. It certainly deserves its popularity solely as a creative form of social media. That being said, its owners are so so insidious & do the worst things. Just like all other social media, its controlled by the worst kind of people. Who can never figure out how to effectively get rid of nazis or keep kids safe from adult content.

These are my less serious gripes with the app:

1) Lip syncing

When people lip sync and don’t do any kind of skit, joke, etc, just look as if they’re saying what someone else said; I hate that. I have to go back and find the original tiktok so I can like it instead. You literally did nothing interesting by ripping off someones audio and moving your lips along to it. So many people on this app are creative and so many others lack any semblance of creativity.

Also people are too easily impressed by lip syncing to kinda-fast songs. I lip synced to like....10 seconds of the devil went down to georgia and two people praised my lip syncing abilities. Like, I can also sing and talk fast, out loud, isn’t that more impressive? more skillful? The fiddle playing in that song is impressive, not the fact I can lip sync ‘the devil went down to georgia, he was lookin for a soul to steal, he was in a bind, cause he was way behind.’ Have you ever seen someone play Johnny’s fiddle solo????? It’s insane!!!

Rather than see someone lip sync to the verse in Stressed Out 2x faster than normal (which is, extremely simple and the song was overplayed and ingrained into our collective consciousness) and go WOW what about someone.....doing the verse out loud. You can litterally just mouth random words and look like you’re saying the right ones. It’s driving me crazy lmao. I’m set to become a God of tiktok because I have a repertoire of fast songs and rap verses memorized. It’s not even an uncommon skill to speak or sing quickly, people literally make rap music for a living! Listen to it maybe.

2) “Acting”

I am begging you to stop making me sit through those horrible POVs. I cannot take another girl not quite fake crying towards the camera as she lip syncs the words from a song that apply to the random situation she decided she was in. I cannot take another boy who thinks its sexy to stare into a camera and smirk in every single situation he creates.

Back to lip syncing, making facial expressions along to words isn’t really acting. Try saying the words out loud perhaps? The inflection you use with your lines is a pretty big part of acting. Like you can lip sync all you want, just stop tagging it with #acting.

3) Comedic timing, or lack thereof

You don’t need the entire intro to sit there looking at the camera waiting until the first line starts and you can lip sync to the part that’s the joke. You could cut off at least 15 seconds. Brevity is the soul of wit.

When your joke involves both reading text on screen and listening to the song for the punchline, if it isn’t done prefectly, its so difficult to follow. I can’t read a paragraph in 5 seconds. Paraphrase.

4) self deprecating artist audio

the audio thats like ‘this wont get views’ ‘I suck’ ‘you probably won’t see this anyway’ LOVE YOURSELF

It sucks when people dont enagage with your art but it sucks worse when your value in yourself and you art is based solely on receiving that validation. Please find a healthy medium.

Also you’re asking for pity, and you don’t want that. You want people who genuinely love your art for what it is.

5) editing videos is really hard how do you make such cool & smooth transitions????

please help me I don’t understand

Finally

here’s my account if you’re interested

[wistfulcynic]

The Very Witching Time (6 / 6)

And here it is, the sixth chapter of my four part story, the absolute and final last one. THE LAST, DAMMIT. This has been the most challenging story I've written and I hope you’ve enjoyed it.

Thank you all for reading!

For @thisonesatellite​ WHO KNOWS WHAT SHE DID ❤️❤️❤️❤️ 

and for @mariakov81 for reasons that will be VERY EVIDENT at the end of the chapter. 

In this chapter Cora gets what’s coming to her and there is an epilogue so fluffy you’ll need to see your dentist after reading. 

Thanks as always to @cssns for the brilliant event and @gingerchangeling for the gorgeous art.

SUMMARY: Emma Swan is a hereditary witch, last in a long line of wise women who for centuries have guarded the coast of Maine and the small village of Storybrooke with their homemade cures and their ancient magic. She holds the delicate balance between magic and mundane, but now that balance is threatened by a new foe, one capable of bringing an end to everything Emma is and everything she loves. To defeat it she will need all her power, help from her friends and neighbours, and the loyalty of a very unusual dog who answers to the name of Killian.  

RATING: M

AO3 | Tumblr: ch1, ch2, ch3, ch4, ch5

TAGGING: @thisonesatellite, @stahlop, @mariakov81, @kmomof4, @snowbellewells, @jennjenn615, @resident-of-storybrooke, @teamhook, @thejollyroger-writer, @winterbaby89, @darkcolinodonorgasm, @captainsjedi, @ultraluckycatnd @shireness-says @scientificapricot @tiganasummertree

Chapter 6: 

The fireplace in Emma’s living room was vastly too big for it, the raw grey slab of the stone mantel much too heavy and the carved pilasters beneath far too slender for their task. The hearth was too deep and too wide and protruded into the room much farther than it should, and the firebox put Killian in mind of the gates of Hell itself. 

Yet the firelight emanating from this behemoth was playful, dancing a merry path about the room and gilding everything within in a flickering golden glow. Its delicate radiance illuminated the overstuffed sofa where David and Mary Margaret sat with their hands clasped and looks of solemn concentration on their faces, skittered off the un-curtained window behind them and away from the darkness of the night beyond, valiantly attempted to soften the strain in Regina’s expression and posture as she sat stiffly in the corner armchair, speaking only when spoken to. 

It positively caressed Emma’s face, thought Killian, tracing the contours of her round cheeks and determined jaw, of that dimple in her chin he never passed up the opportunity to kiss. It shone through her hair as she paced along the hearth, brightening the loose waves that tumbled down her back with such a glow he fancied she was part of the flames. 

Firelight made him whimsical, he reflected. 

“So does everyone understand?” Emma was saying as Killian forced his wandering mind to focus. 

“Not entirely,” said David. “But I think I know what you want us to do.” 

“We know our part,” agreed Mary Margaret. 

“All right then.” Emma clapped her hands together. “I think we’re ready. Regina, Killian? Ready?” 

“Aye, love.” 

“Yes.” 

“Good. Let’s get started.” 

She took a deep breath and reached for Killian’s hand. He clasped hers firmly, reassuringly. 

“All right, love?” he asked, keeping his voice low for her ears alone.

“Yeah,” she murmured back. “I’ve just never had anyone in the old part of my house before. Not on purpose anyway.” She squeezed his hand. “It feels weird, is all.” 

Hand in hand with Killian, Emma led the small group along the dark corridor to the back of her house, smirking when Mary Margaret and David gaped openly as the stone doorway appeared in the wall and swung wide at her silent bidding, but smiling in understanding when Regina gaped openly at the workroom with its long table strewn with the ingredients and equipment for her spells. Hastily Emma gathered together several small glass bottles and linen bags, plus four engraved silver bowls and the star-strewn blanket Killian recognised from the night she’d given him his silver paw, tumbling them all into a wicker basket with a long, looping handle. Clasping the basket tightly she indicated for them to follow her and headed with a determined stride up the stone stairs that led to one of her towers. Not the library tower. The other one. 

The stairs wound up and up and up, curving through a blinding darkness that had the four of them stumbling and holding on to each other for safety, following Emma’s sure steps by sound alone. Higher and higher still the staircase spun, far higher than the one leading to the library, spiralling ever upwards until they were dizzy, until they had lost all sense of time or space, until what could have been hours or minutes or inches or miles later they stumbled, breathless and disoriented, into a chamber.  

It was a circular chamber, vast and echoing in a way that was surely impossible for any place atop such a tall tower to be, formed of seamless stone walls lined with unlit torches and illuminated by a faint, bluish glow from an unseen source. Emma set her basket on the floor and withdrew some long-handled matches from one of the linen bags. “We need to light the torches,” she said. “Normally I’d do it with magic, but I’d like to hold on to what little I’ve got.” 

Mary Margaret’s face creased in a worried frown. “Sweetie, are you sure we have to do this tonight? Can’t it wait until you’ve got more of your magic back?”

“Mary Margaret you remember what she said, the low magic is part of the plan,” David reminded her. 

“I know, but…” 

“It’ll be fine Mary Margaret,” Emma assured her. “If everything goes well—” 

“If,” muttered Regina.

“—then I’ll only need a bit of my own,” continued Emma, ignoring her. “I just don’t want to waste any resources. Just in case.” 

“Well, if you’re sure,” said Mary Margaret, and took the long, slow-burning match Emma handed her, striking it against the wall and gasping at the bright glare of its flame. 

As Mary Margaret and David lit the torches Emma and Regina spread the starry blanket over the centre of the floor, placing the silver bowls at each of its corners and filling each with sea salt and thyme and three dried nettle leaves. 

“Are you sure you don’t want any mugwort?” Regina frowned at the contents of the bowls. “Or at least a bit of cinnamon bark?”

“Nope,” said Emma brightly, though Killian could feel her tension. “Simple is better, I think.” She handed Regina a bottle of sea salt then closed her eyes and breathed deeply, centring herself as the other woman sprinkled the salt in a circle around the blanket. 

When the torches were lit and the circle prepared, Emma, Regina, Mary Margaret, and David joined hands and stepped as one over the salt circle and onto the blanket. The instant they did, the salt began to glow and energy sparked between their hands. 

“Don’t let go!” said Emma sharply as Mary Margaret flinched in surprise. “Whatever happens you have to hold the circle!” 

Emma bent her head and began to murmur in a language Killian had read but never heard, using the energy of the circle to boost her small store of magic. Soon smoke began to rise from the centre of the blanket, thickening and taking on the purplish-blue hue that still had the power to make his blood run cold, before dissipating to reveal a surprised and extremely displeased Cora. 

“What is this?” she snapped, scowling at the faces surrounding her, her gaze flitting scornfully over Emma’s and Mary Margaret’s before landing on her daughter. “Regina?” she frowned. “What do you think you’re doing?” 

“Stopping you, Mother,” said Regina. “As I should have done long ago.” 

“Pah,” spat Cora. “You can’t stop me.” 

“I couldn’t,” Regina conceded. “I have help now.” 

“Help? From the forest witch and her household spells? From Leopold’s doormat of a daughter and her very upright husband? That’s your help?”

“Not all of it,” said a deep voice that Killian barely recognised as his own. 

Shadows shifted between the torches on the wall as he stepped forward from his hiding place among them, and when the torchlight made him fully visible Cora’s face for the first time showed genuine fear. 

“You!” she gasped. “You’re— but— how?”

“You might well ask that,” said Killian coolly. “Though you needn’t look far for the answer. You did this.” 

“I— what?”

Killian smiled, a sharp, vicious smile, remembering Cora’s arrogance and her presumption, and the cold deliberation with which she had ripped his life to shreds. Part of him, the dark part deep inside, was going to bloody enjoy this.

“All these years you’ve been obsessed with that prophecy,” he said advancing on the circle as near as he dared, “You spent your life trying to interpret it and to find a way to thwart it, but my dear Cora what you have always failed to understand is that everything you’ve done, from the moment you found the first scrap of parchment, has only aided that prophecy in coming true.”

“Impossible.” Cora managed a sneer, but it was a feeble thing. “You know nothing of prophecies, or magic.”

“Oh, on the contrary darling, I know quite a bit about both. Prophesied events may come to pass or they may not,” he glanced at Emma, who gave him a small smile. “But whatever they do they don’t do it in a vacuum. People are inevitably involved and where there are people there is always a choice. You for example chose to involve me in all of this—” 

“I didn’t choose you, I was Shown.” 

“Perhaps, but it was your choice to destroy my life in an attempt to get me under your control. Had you left me alone I would have lived out my life in the navy, never even believing in magic. I would certainly never have met and fallen in love with a witch.”

Cora shook her head, denying his words, though he could see they had shaken her. “No. No, you’re wrong, I had to stop you, you were destined to meet her—” 

“I met her because you brought me to her forest and turned me into a dog,” retorted Killian. “You thought you were getting rid of me but it was only as a dog that I was in a position to stay close to her and protect her, and it was only as a dog that I could have defeated your wolves.” 

Realisation was breaking across Cora’s face, chased by horror. “You were as good as dead,” she whispered. “There’s no way you could have survived…” 

“Left to my own devices I surely wouldn’t have. But there was this connection I’d forged with a witch, you see, which allowed her to heal me. All of me.” He held up his left hand, whole and pulsing with a faint glow of magic. Cora took a stumbling step back, her fear palpable as she pressed against the barrier of the magic circle that held her. 

“That’s not possible—” 

“No indeed, I think we can all agree that it is quite impossible. And yet, here we have it.” He raised an eyebrow. “Tell me, love, why exactly did you take my hand in the first place?”

“I had a vision,” choked Cora, too deep in shock to attempt a lie. “I saw— I saw that she would need it. Your hand, your help. I saw—” she broke off on a strangled gasp, eyes darting all around, taking in the circle on the floor, the faces surrounding her, Killian and his glowing hand. The fear in her eyes turned to panic. “I saw this.” 

“And what precisely is this?”

“My end.” Her terrified gaze met Killian’s calm one. “Are you— going to kill me?”

Killian paused before replying, keeping his eyes fixed on Cora, allowing the silence to stretch out until she began to writhe. “I am not,” he said at last. “But make no mistake, this is your end.” 

“Cora Mills!” Emma’s voice resonated though the chamber. “Your actions have been seen, and now I offer you a choice.”

Cora jumped and spun around to face Emma. “A choice?”

“There is always a choice.” Emma's eyes met Killian’s, and he nodded. “You have shown you cannot be trusted to wield the High Magic. Your choice is to voluntarily relinquish it and work only the household spells, or to be cut off from all magic forever.” 

Cora’s eyebrows snapped together as the hot flash of her anger burnt away her fear. “You can’t cut me off from my power!” she snarled.

“Oh yeah?” retorted Emma. “Try me.” 

Cora sputtered indignantly. “With what magic?” she sneered. “You used all yours on Samhain, and my pathetic daughter’s isn’t nearly enough.”   

“That’s true,” agreed Emma. “I’ve got no magic left.”

“Then how do you possibly presume to—

“I don’t have magic,” Emma interrupted. “But he does.” 

Killian could sense the magic sleeping deep within the stones of the chamber, the same stones, the same magic, that had answered Emma’s desperate call mere days before, the magic that had healed his broken body and returned his stolen hand. He called to it now, and though he had no idea how he was doing so he pulled the magic into his hand and sent it on along the connection he shared with Emma, letting his magic flow into her as she had done for him. 

Cora couldn’t see the source of his power —its nature was too foreign to her— but she could sense magic flowing into Emma, could see her channel it, weave it, and everyone could see when that magic flared into a blaze of light that Emma deftly moulded into a fearsome blade, long and lightly curved, and sharper than any steel. 

She grasped this blade and held it before her as Cora herself began to glow, the energy of her own magic becoming visible as wisps of purple light that curled in gentle waves around her, linking her to the source of her own power. As Cora watched in growing horror these wisps wound around each other, twisting and knotting together to form a single rope roughly the thickness of Killian’s wrist. The rope drew taut beneath Emma’s blade, quivering in anticipation of her strike. 

“What is your choice?” Emma asked. “Will you promise to relinquish the High Magic?”

Hatred flashed in Cora’s eyes. “Never—” she hissed, grasping the purple rope and whipping it away, but Emma brought the blade down faster than the human eye could see and sliced the rope clean through, severing Cora’s connection to her power forever. 

Cora gasped then cried out in pain, staring at the fading rope with eyes dulled by uncomprehending horror. “No,” she moaned. “No you didn’t, you can’t! You can’t do this to me!” Collapsing into a heap on the floor, she clutched at the purple rope, fisting her hands into the starry blanket and pounding them against the floor as it faded away into nothing. 

Emma heaved a deep breath and let go both of Killian’s magic and the hands she held, breaking the circle. The glow in the salt winked out and David and Mary Margaret fell into each other’s arms, clinging tightly and whispering as they attempted to process all they had seen. Regina knelt beside her keening mother and cautiously embraced her. 

“Come, Mother,” she said gently. “I’ll take you home.” She stood and pulled Cora to her feet, raising her hand to poof them away but before she could Emma stepped forward.

“Wait,” she said, searching for the right words to express her feelings. It was— not precisely sympathy she felt; Cora more than deserved this punishment and the world needed protection from her, but Emma knew how devastating losing magic must be to a witch and her kind heart wished to help. She laid a hand on Cora’s arm. 

“You’re welcome in my shop any time,” she said. “You may not have power anymore but there is magic everywhere, and I have things that can help you connect with it, help you find your way again. Both of you,” she added, looking at Regina.

“Never,” snapped Cora, yanking her arm away, but Regina nodded. 

“Thank you,” she said. “In time, I think we might take you up on that.” 

“Take all the time you need.” 

Understanding flashed between her and Regina, then red smoke swirled and both Mills women were gone. 

Emma stared at the spot they had vacated, feeling relief and sadness and a mess of other things she didn’t have the energy to sort through. She heard Killian come up behind her, felt his arms wrap around her. His presence was so soothing, she thought with a sigh, turning in his embrace and snuggling against him, pressing her nose into his neck. 

“Well done, my love,” he murmured, kissing her temple. “How do you feel?”

“Gah, I don’t know,” she laughed. “Don’t ask me that just yet. Let’s just— is it weird that all I really want is a cup of tea?” 

“Not in the least,” said Killian solemnly. “Tea cures all ills. Come, darling, I’ll put the kettle on.”

💐💐 💐💐💐

Seven years later.

The 31st of October was a cool and misty day that year, with pearly grey skies and the scents of wood smoke and frost clinging in the chill dampness of the air. By its afternoon much of the mist had burned away, save for a stray wisp or two weaving out from the forest and down Hornbeam Street to curl around the windows of the apothecary shop where Emma hummed to herself as she arranged the Samhain candles on their elegantly carved shelf. She paused neither in her arranging nor her tune, not even turning around when she sensed what Killian would call “a disturbance in the Force” in the vicinity of the table behind her, laden with caramel apples for the trick-or-treaters. She did, however, smile at the sharp hiss that resulted from someone attempting to touch those very apples and encountering a protection spell instead. 

“Ow!” cried a small, indignant voice. “Mom! That hurt!” 

“Stop trying to snitch apples and it won’t hurt,” said Emma reasonably. She didn’t need to look to sense her daughter’s pout. “You can have one in an hour when everyone comes for tea.” 

“But I’ll want soul cakes then!” 

“So have soul cakes.” 

“But then I can’t have a caramel apple!” 

Emma finally turned around, biting the inside of her cheek to hide her smile at the mutinous expression on the small face, so like Killian’s and framed by his dark hair, brightened in their child by glints of red, but with Emma’s own green eyes. Eyes that were at present narrowed in frustration. 

“Life is full of tough choices, kid,” said Emma. “If the worst you ever face is caramel apple or soul cake, you can count yourself lucky.” 

“That doesn’t help,” grumbled the small girl. “Grownups never say anything helpful.” 

Rowenna Jones was many things: five years old (five and a half, she would insist), an apprentice witch, a gifted storyteller, the fastest runner in her kindergarten class, and the sworn enemy of her cousin Leo. What she most definitely was not, was anyone’s fool. 

Emma laughed. “That’s very true. You still can’t have an apple now.” 

“Hmmph,” said Rowenna, and stomped back to the corner —the same corner where her father had once spent his days curled up on his dog bed— and sat down at the child sized table and chairs that now occupied it. “I guess I’ll just colour then,” she said with the dramatic huff familiar to all long-suffering children. 

“You could help me arrange the candles,” suggested Emma. 

“No, they look good like that,” said Rowenna, after an appraising glance at the shelf. “Can I do some magic?”

“What magic do you want to do?”

Rowenna raised an eyebrow and the corners of her mouth quirked in an unconscious imitation of her father’s wicked smirk. “Can I hex Leo?”

“Definitely not,” said Emma. Nice bargaining technique, kid, she thought but did not say.  

“Welllll, can I practice lighting candles, then?”

“That you can do.” 

Emma took the practice candle from behind the apothecary counter and put it down on Rowenna’s table. “Remember to feel your magic first,” she instructed her daughter. “Reach out and touch it, make sure it’s welcoming to you, then pull it up through yourself and focus on sparking the flame.” 

The child’s small forehead creased in concentration and Emma watched carefully as she gathered the threads of her magic and focused them on the candle wick. After a moment the wick flared into bright flame and both Emma and Rowenna clapped. 

“Well done, sweetie,” said Emma, extinguishing the flame with her own magic and giving her daughter a one-armed hug. “Keep practicing. Try to do it without thinking so hard, remember that magic is as much feeling as thought. 

Determination settled on the child’s brow, yet another thing she’d inherited from Killian. “I’m gonna do it so fast, Dad and Liam won’t believe their eyes,” she declared. 

“There’s a goal,” said Emma. “You do that.” 

~~💐~~

Half an hour later Rowenna’s candle-lighting speed had improved noticeably and Emma had rearranged her shelves six times as customers flooded in to buy her wares. She was sold out of bread and cider and had given most of the caramel apples to trick or treaters. Even Alexandra came in for one, though she was now twelve and that morning had rejected the pink princess dress her mother tried to give her, informing Ashley that trick or treating was “for kids” and everyone cool was going to Gideon Gold’s Halloween party instead. 

“Well, I guess you’re not cool, then,” Ashley had retorted. “Try again next year.” 

So Alexandra bought her own Halloween costume with her babysitting money and went to the shop for a caramel apple and a chat with Emma. Who did a sharp double take at the sight of her.   

“Are you kidding me with that hat?” Emma demanded. 

“No,” grumbled Alexandra, hunching her shoulders under Emma’s disapproving stare. “It was the only witch costume the store had.” 

“You couldn’t have chosen a different costume?” 

“All they’ve got are princess dresses and like, sexy nurses which my mom would actually kill me if I wore.” She shrugged. “I’ve been a princess every year, I wanted something different.” 

Rowenna bit her lip as she watched this exchange, torn between her admiration for the older girl she idolised and indignation on behalf of witch-kind. “I like the dress,” she ventured. “It looks like what we wear for Samhain only black.” Her face brightened as she had an idea. “OH! Maybe you could make a leaf crown instead of a hat? Mom says some witches wear leaf crowns.” She looked imploringly at her mother. 

“They do,” confirmed Emma. “I could probably conjure one, if you like.” 

Not even Alexandra’s newfound adolescent sullenness could mask her excitement at that prospect. “Okay,” she agreed. 

“One condition,” said Emma. “You have to let me burn the abomination on your head.” 

Alexandra removed the pointed black hat she wore and handed it to Emma, who took it gingerly between thumb and forefinger. “I’ll be right back,” she said. 

“Look what I can do, Lex!” cried Rowenna, waving Alexandra over to her table. “I can do it really fast now.” 

Quick as the flash of the flame itself she lit the candle with her magic. Alexandra’s eyebrows rose despite herself. “That is pretty cool,” she conceded, and Rowenna glowed brighter than her candle. 

Emma returned a few minutes later carrying a delicate tiara woven of slender willow branches interlaced with hawthorn and red maple leaves, whose dark auburn shades suited Alexandra’s colouring beautifully. 

Alexandra’s mouth dropped open and then she squealed, completely forgetting that enthusiasm was for babies. “Wow!” she cried. “That’s so amazing! Oh, thank you!” Emma helped her adjust it to the perfect angle on her head and let the girl admire herself in the glass of the display window as she grabbed her besom broom to greet a new flock of trick or treaters. 

“Are you ever going to fly on that thing?” asked Alexandra, once the children had gone. “You’ve been saying you do for years, but I’ve never seen you.” 

This time Rowenna couldn’t stifle her scoff, not even to keep Alexandra’s favour. “No one actually flies on broomsticks,” she huffed. 

“Wha— really?” Alexandra gaped at Emma, who shrugged. “I actually believed you, you know!”  

“Sorry?” said Emma.

“You should be,” said Alexandra. 

~~💐~~

Soon Alexandra left to show off her crown to her friends and Rowenna returned to practicing with her candle. Emma watched with a soft smile as magic flowed through her daughter, smooth and steady and controlled with an instinctive skill that made Emma swell with pride.

Rowenna lit and extinguished the candle faster and faster until it was blinking like a strobe light. She giggled at the effect and the thrill of her magic, and Emma was just about to step in before she got too carried away, when Rowenna’s face brightened with an eager expression. She extinguished the candle and turned towards the door. “They’re coming!” she called. “Mommy, they’re almost here!” 

Less than a minute later the door opened and Killian strolled in, a small puppy with floppy ears and pale gold fur dancing energetically at his heels. Yipping excitedly, the puppy ran to Emma and bounced around her knees in a brief hello before bounding over to Rowenna and jumping in her lap to attack her face with enthusiastic, sloppy kisses. She giggled and pushed him away. “Stop it, Liam! Get down!” 

Emma put her hands on her hips and glared at her husband. “Did you let him walk the whole way?” 

“He wanted to!” protested Killian, slipping an arm around her waist and kissing her cheek. “You know he loves to explore the forest. And it’s easier than carrying him.” 

“Hmmph,” huffed Emma, sounding exactly like her daughter, though she softened into his embrace and curled her own arm around his waist in return. “Is he hungry?”

“I expect so.” Killian nuzzled her ear. “He’s a ravenous beast puppy, as you know.” 

 Emma sighed as he tickled the sensitive spot on her neck then turned in his arms and kissed him hard. “Can you watch the shop for a minute while I go feed him?” she asked against his lips.

“Of course, love,” he murmured, brushing her nose with his as they exchanged sappy grins. 

“Daddy, you can watch me light the candle! I can do it sooo fast!” called Rowenna, sensing that her parents were nearly done with the mushy stuff. There was no talking to them until they’d kissed at least three times, this she knew from lifelong experience.

“Well, that you must show me.” Killian planted a final quick kiss on his wife before turning his attention to his daughter, exclaiming in admiration as she lit the candle for him and giving her a proud hug.  

Emma scooped up the still-bouncing puppy and cradled him in the crook of her arm, scratching his tummy gently with her fingertips. “Time to change now, kid, if you want some food,” she said. Liam licked her chin then closed his eyes, shimmered gently with a soft golden light, and Emma was holding a plump blond baby boy with eyes the same grey as the clouds outside. Cuddling him close she kissed his cheeks with silly smacking noises and he gurgled happily, patting her face with his tiny hands and making her heart clench with love and a trace of awe. Even after six months she still marvelled at him, at the ease of his transformation and the pure instinct of his magic. Her family’s witch magic manifesting in her daughter was something Emma had expected, something she knew how to deal with, but a shapeshifting son whose eyes were always the colour of the sky had taken her rather by surprise. 

She blamed Killian. Who was more than happy to accept full responsibility. Who was, in fact, thrilled to have a son who preferred to be a dog. 

“After all, love, it’s far more fun to be a six month old puppy than a six month old baby,” he’d pointed out just the day before. “Considerably greater mobility, and that’s just for a start. Perhaps he’ll choose to be human more often when he’s a bit older.” 

Liam’s cheerful babble interrupted her musings. “Well, I hope you’ll have a nice long nap after your dad wore you out letting you walk all the way here,” she remarked as she carried him to the small room at the back of the shop. There she fed him and burped him, rubbed his back and hummed a lullaby until he fell into a doze, then laid him down gently in the crib she’d tucked into the quietest corner of the room and tiptoed away to begin the preparations for tea, hoping he’d stay asleep. 

The scrabbling sound of puppy claws on hardwood and Rowenna’s shrieks of laughter informed her that that hope was a futile one. Emma sighed and decided to let Killian deal with it. 

When she came back into the shop with her tea tray piled high with Samhain treats David and Mary Margaret were there, she seated on the floor cooing over a delighted Liam and he attempting to police the children’s table where Leo was already squabbling with Rowenna over her crayons. Emma surreptitiously removed the practice candle from within her daughter’s range of magic while Killian poured tea for everyone, heavily diluting it with warm apple cider for the children. 

“So how was your day?” Emma inquired of the room at large, once everyone had been served. 

“Ugh,” groaned David. “Don’t ask.” 

“Why, mate, what happened?”

“I wish I knew. It seems like Leroy managed to obtain Doc’s Miata—

“—According to Granny he won it in some sort of bet,” Mary Margaret chimed in.

“—and he’s been driving it around like a maniac all day,” David concluded. 

“Ah,” said Emma, deadpan. “So that’s what that red blur was.” 

David shook his head. “I know you’re kidding, but also you’re not kidding. He was pulled over for speeding six times, twice in fifteen minutes by the same officer. I finally had to put him in a holding cell to get him off the damn roads.” 

“Yip! Yip! Yip!” barked Liam in his tiny puppy voice, leaping out of Mary Margaret’s lap and jumping excitedly at the Main Street window. “Yip! Yip!” They all looked out the window to see Doc walking past, carrying a baseball bat and the air of one seeking bloody retribution. 

“Goddamn it,” growled David as he charged out the door. 

~~💐~~

David didn’t return. He sent Mary Margaret a terse text saying he’d see her at home that night, so after she finished her tea Mary Margaret collected Leo, wished everyone a happy Samhain, and took her leave.

Liam was sound asleep on Rowenna’s lap, draped across her legs in that boneless puppy way, but when Emma picked him up he yawned and shimmered back into a baby, snuggling against his mother and blowing bubbles of drool on her chest. 

“I’m gonna go put him down in the crib and hope he naps until closing,” whispered Emma. “Do you mind taking Wren back home with you?”

“What do you say, lass, shall we get the food ready for the bonfire?” asked Killian. 

“Yeah!” Rowenna jumped up from her chair. 

“Put your crayons away first,” Killian instructed, catching her shoulder before she could run out the door, “And don’t forget your jacket.” 

As Rowenna collected her crayons under Killian’s watchful eye, Emma slipped away with Liam, indulging herself in a brief cuddle before laying him in the crib, stroking his hair —the same colour and softness as his fur— until she heard Killian and Rowenna leave the shop. 

 She tidied up the tea things and took them into the back, and when she returned to the shop Regina was waiting. 

Emma gave her a hug, which she returned warmly. Regina had warmed considerably in the past seven years, finally out from under her mother’s controlling thumb and now four years into a relationship with one of Killian’s old university colleagues, a widower with a young son who, Regina had once confessed to Emma, had brought out a maternal side in her she’d never known she had. 

“How’s everything?” asked Emma. How’s Cora, she meant. 

Regina understood. “We’re doing a bonfire tonight,” she replied. “Mother lit the candles this morning.” 

“That’s fantastic!” 

“It really is.” Regina shook her head as a smile teased the corners of her mouth. “I honestly never thought I’d see the day.” 

“So do you think she’s really reconciled to everything?” 

“She still hates you,” said Regina bluntly. “And Killian even more. And I suspect she still tries to summon magic sometimes.” 

“Well, no one changes overnight.” 

“No. And she is getting better.” 

“That’s something, anyway.” 

“That’s something,” Regina agreed. 

“And… you’re happy, right?” asked Emma cautiously. Regina could still be prickly about her personal life.

But Regina smiled, wide and soft and genuine. “Yeah,” she said. “I’m happy.”

“Well, that’s what matters.” 

“I suppose it is.” Regina allowed herself a brief squeeze of Emma’s hand. “Well, you’ve got things to do and I should be going. I’ll see you again at the equinox?”

“See you then. Blessed Samhain, Regina.” 

“Blessed Samhain.” 

~~💐~~

That evening Rowenna, dressed in a miniature version of her mother’s ceremonial gown and with green eyes huge at the momentous responsibility of the task, carried the oak log to the smouldering pile of wood in the fire circle and carefully placed it on the top. It burst instantly into flame and she started backwards in awe and alarm, reaching for Emma’s hand. Emma took it, partly to reassure her daughter and partly to complete the ritual, speaking the ancient words slowly so Rowenna could follow along, her small voice quavering slightly but never faltering. 

Killian sat on the porch steps watching them, Liam gurgling happily in his arms and  his chest tight with pride and love and other emotions he couldn’t assign a name. Happiness was certainly one, he thought, and wonder.  

Emma and Rowenna finished their obeisance and Rowenna with a whoop of joy ran inside to get the food to roast in the fire. She returned less than a minute later balancing a tray of corn and squash precariously as she bounced down the stairs, and Liam began to squirm with intent.

“I suppose you want to go play,” said Killian. 

“Gurgle,” Liam replied.

“All right go on.”

His son’s body shimmered and glowed, and Killian’s arms were full of wiggling puppy. Liam covered his father’s face in wet kisses then leapt from his lap and raced out into the garden.  

“Be careful!” called Killian. 

“Yip!” barked Liam. 

Killian leaned back against the railing of the porch with a pensive sigh. The garden magic rose and swirled around him, ruffling his hair and tickling the sensitive spot just behind his ear. He laughed. 

“Hello,” he said. 

You’re thinking hard.

“Just reflecting on the vagaries of fate,” said Killian with a wry grin. “Wondering…”

Speak your mind, Killian Jones.

Killian chuckled. The garden magic had always understood him. 

“All this,” he said, gesturing to the fire, the feast, his family. “Sometimes I wonder what I’ve done to deserve it, that’s all.” 

You earned it for yourself, the magic whispered. You protected her. You loved her. You were prepared to die for her. You made this happen.

“Did you know?” he asked it. “Did you always know who I was… to her?” 

Yes. Who you could be to her. But the future is never certain. There is always a choice. 

“A choice,” echoed Killian, watching his wife and daughter tuck vegetables around the fire to roast and their son yip in delight as he chased the embers floating through the air. “I like that. It’s how it should be.” 

This GORGEOUS, STUNNING drawing of Rowenna and Liam is, of course, the work of the utterly brilliant @mariakov81 who somehow read my mind and drew them exactly as they should be. Please tag her in reblogs to give her the appreciation she deserves ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️