#tumblr scares me be nice

[mushyposts]

Im gonna put this here and hope to god I dont end up just talking to the void and being one of those posts ppl see and go "oh its so embarrassing they posted asking a question and no one replied omg..." (I dont think this idk if anyone actually thinks this but its scary!!) i am writing a Very large ATLA fic re-write, it is ur classic Hakoda + crew adopt Zuko except this starts pre-canon, just weeks after Zuko gets his burn! it is focused on love, its many different forms and is called "No thing defines a man like love" on Ao3! So, in saying this, I am curious about peoples opinions and preferences when it comes to re-writes where the focus isnt the ACTUAL canon timeline. (mine is focused on pre-canon, has a lot of flashbacks from different POV's and I wanna do a lot of stuff for post-canon perhaps!) I know I personally am not the biggest fan of re-reading WHOLE chapters with each one being an episode, with the only difference being "Zuko is here now! Woo!" But Im not sure how else to approach it.... Im thinking potentially doing a like,,, flash speed run of the episode with it focusing on certain parts where Zuko's presence WOULD make a difference, focusing on parts we dont see (like the travelling between cities!) and exploring how Zuko's presence/lack of presence would change certain events. I also kind of dont wanna re-write the whole episodes, I've technically mapped them out a bit, but my GOD its a huge undertaking and idk if i wanna do that!! So pls, give me ur thoughts, idk how that works on tumblr but i wanna know what other ppl think!! And if ur a reader from ao3 coming to here from my last update omg hii.....

[almondcroissantsandink]

hark! it's the cringefail loser squad from on high

[just-posting-kalone]

Athena Cykes!!

[beebeedibapbeediboop]

Baldur's gate character ref sheet commission for @erikaii <3

[ritsmaos]

doodles of these peculiar things based off that one episode :3

[sliptoken]

So I’ve been in love with Sleep Token for a whole while now and it’s so embarrassing to admit but I really want to learn more about them as a people but I still can’t tell them apart really and I’ve been dreading asking for some help but I’ve been too embarrassed

[tubbytarchia]

I have so many smallidarity thoughts but Im scared of having my head skewered on a stick if I spoke of them. You guys dont know the thoughts that plague my mind. You wouldn't survive a day in my twisted world.

[seagulley]

learning to be a good passenger on public transport

[skriblee-ksk]

I drew Yuu Shi, @boopshoops OC!!!! Because I love her!!!!! My beloved tryhard girlboss!!!!!

++Kiyuu fangirl doodle, as she does love pretty people. Sadly she traded confidence for social acceptance so she won’t say it out loud but i can bet you she is looking (respectfully).

[sajra-savera]

You ever look at some teenagers and instantly feel sorry for their parents? Like how do you even handle this piece of shit?

[angelmush]

tis the season !

[kingofthering]

Hello. After some hours of thinking and some hours trying to understand Wordpress, I have finally created my blog there.

The main goal is to use it as a place to have a proper presentation for my stats posts (you can only do so much here on tumblr with the limitations on posts formatting).

No worries, I am not deleting any of my posts here and I am not going to stop posting stats stuff on tumblr.

For existing content, I am just going to create articles with the content I've already posted on here (altering some of the text and the presentation of elements).

For future content, I think I will make the proper full nice articles on the blog and then I'll still post here but maybe lighter versions. Honestly, I'm not fixed on things yet so we'll see.

Overall, this is still a work in progress. I'm still not 100% on the name or the categories. I still need to create some more pages and organization stuff in there. Wordpress is still a mystery to me in a lot of aspect, etc, etc

In any case, I will be happy to see you there. I need to get the hang of the newsletter system and articles have likes and comments, which I will cherish very dearly.

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.

I don't have external meltdowns.

I could. I don't let it happen.

I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.

So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.

She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.

Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].

It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.

They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.

I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.

I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.

I couldn't understand what made her like this.

But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.

If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.

And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*

And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?

My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.

Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???

And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.

I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*

She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.

I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.

So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.

But I told her hundreds of times.

I probably should have just screamed at her.

[necrotic-nephilim]

about me

join the dead dove batfamily discord server!

hi, i'm luciferos. i'm 22, disabled, Deaf, queer, and a general menace. my pronouns are they/them. this is an 18+ batcest blog. i'm pro-fandom and pro-kink. I avidly support SALS, YKINMKATO, and DLDR. most of what i write is of the darkfic, dead dove variety. i'm a fan of the comics, mainly the pre-Flashpoint era of the Batfam. some of my favorite comics are: Red Robin (2009), Batman/Huntress: Cry For Blood, Birds of Prey (2010), Young Justice (1998), Huntress (1989), Sword of Azrael (2022), Grayson (2014), Robin War, and the Question (1986). i can be a comics purist, but i just tend to leave alone fandom content i dislike and i think everyone should have fun with their blorbos, whether they've read the comics or not.

my DMs are open for anyone who wants to chat, make friends, or just yell. my (mostly unused) main blog is @devilbonesofmetal, so that's where follows and likes come from. i don't do DNIs, your internet experience is your job to curate, so feel free to block me if you're uncomfortable with what i post. some important things to note are

my ask box is open for any headcanons, prompts, or questions you want to send my way! you can ask for comic recs or my opinions on canon, or whatever suits your fancy. however *please* understand there are usually at least 50 asks in my inbox and i don't answer them in order. if i haven't answered your ask yet, i will, i promise. it may take a while though. please don't resend it, we'll just both end up confused.

if you ever want to create a translation/podfic/fanart/etc or write something inspired by one of my fics or posts, you have complete permission to do so! just tag me bc i'd love to see it too!

a lot of content on this blog will be dark in nature. i try to tag and warn, but do treat this blog with a blanket Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings tag for your own safety if dark content may upset you.

as a comics purist, i tend not to like a lot of fanon tropes. if you send a prompt that uses a fanon-ish type of trope, i may take liberties with it to write it the way i prefer. that's never shade to fanon, it's just what makes me comfortable!

some of my favorite ships are: Tim/Jason, Tim/Dick, Tim/Damian, Dick/Bruce, Jason/Bruce, Ra's/Tim, Slade/Tim, Slade/Dick, Tim/Bruce, Jean-Paul/Tim, Cass/Tim, and Robin Pile.

and some of my favorite characters are: Tim Drake, Dick Grayson, Cass Cain, Helena Bertinelli, Luke Fox, Jean-Paul Valley, Bette Kane, Kara Zor-L, Zinda Blake, and Slade Wilson.

i write fanfiction, but i write anonymously on ao3 (for reasons explained here) so if you'd like to see all my stuff, here's a link to my tumblr masterlist and here's a link to my ao3 series, both of which contain all the fics i've written. aside from the typical ship and character tags, my vague tagging system on this blog is:

necrotic festerings - any ship/fandom metas i've written

necrotic answerings - answering any asks

necrotic writings - my fics

necrotic works in progress - rambling about fics i'm working on

divine and necrotic - tag for my partner @divine-dominion and i being gay on main

necrotic apcryopha - tag for my other partner @eebuckley and i also being gay on main

necrotic nuisance - my shitposting/low effort/non-serious tag

and, just for fun, some of the more interesting metas i've written:

why DC x DP crossovers are so popular

why the Batfamily fandom doesn't interact with canon & related thoughts

JayTim in the New-52 Deep Dive

"why aren't ships involving the women in the Batfam considered Batcest?"

advice for getting into pre-Flashpoint comics

[quailxcrossing]

spiro moment (he is 5 years old today!!!!)

shoutout to just. this absolute legend of a side character, not even a side character this guy is background-background, but he is the main character in the social media torture labyrinth . and he's the main character in my heart

here's some of my favorite spiros from over the years!!! he's literally so.....ough my god.........HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAN I WISH YOU WERE REAL SO SO BAD

[coriander-candlesticks]

I'm working on a piece of Hestia Bulaea, or Hestia of the Council, both as a devotional activity and to cope with anxiety about the upcoming election ;;-;;

I'm hoping to finish it in time to at least order a print of it (no printer at home rip) by Election Day so I can put it on her altar, but I'm putting it down for today so I can look at it later with fresh eyes before I get too far along. There are already one or two things I want to adjust