#tumblr scared the crap out of me earlier

[bubacorn]

hc: Vessel is bad at receiving compliments and being told that he is loved (hug inspired by this one, @ghxstly-death put it into words perfectly. thank you, Eden!🫂)

Thinking about Vessel who can't accept compliments, not because he doesn't believe them (that too), but because he'd heard them so many times in the past related to small, unimpressive things. Not 'I'm proud of you', just 'You did good', an automatic response to any and all achievements. He did good. He didn't know what 'good' meant, but apparently, he did that. He has no idea what was good about what he did, so he continues to push himself, to not be a disappointment. If he does good, then that should be enough, right?

He tries for great, for excellent, for something more, but he always gets 'good', unrelated to the effort and time he put into something. He knows he shouldn't wish for more specific compliments, or anything else, really. He should be grateful to be regarded. Everyone around him is so busy, they can't possibly have time to listen to him talk about how in reality, he has no idea what he's doing. How things sometimes just click but he can't tell if what he did is actually worth anything or it was just pure luck. How he doubts himself at every step but learned to hide it, because he has to be good. And good means coping and dealing with things by himself and quietly, because then he will be told that he did good and who wouldn't want to be good?

Vessel who hears 'I love you' for the first time (said with actual love behind it for the very first time) in a really long time from II. He wouldn't tell the other that, but it's clear from the surprise and the hopeful longing in Vessel's eyes. His friend told him he loves him and he doesn't know what to do with that, so he hesitantly steps to him and begins to lift his arms in question. II's heart squeezes at his shyness, after all, the other has spent months alone in the manor, so it's understandable that he would have grown unaccustomed to touch. But then II has to pull Vessel against him, because the man sort of hovers his arms around his frame as if he doesn't know how to approach a hug. Like he isn't sure what is expected of him and what is too much.

Vessel is surprised when II squeezes around his torso, when he brings one arm around his shoulder and the other to his neck, trying to bring Vessel down towards him, like he wants to protect and shelter him. That's strange, but Vessel finds that his arms want to stay wrapped loosely around II a bit longer and just as he starts to pull away, II again says "I love you, Vessel", and Vessel's brain freezes. II squeezes him tighter and Vessel feels so warm and strangely loose (he's afraid he will unravel if he stays too close for too long) and small even though he towers over his friend. His friend who is now holding him and who apparently loves him.

The only thing in his mind stumbles from his tongue in the form of a quiet "Why?". He didn't do anything exceptional. He was showing II an arrangement and said he wasn't sure if it was any good, letting his fingers dance over the keys, feeling like he was stumbling through music. He felt like it captured that familiar insecurity, and he liked it and hoped II would like it, too. Even if it didn't make it into a song. Then II said he did like it, that it feels like Vessel is unsure but it gives the melody a unique flavor, and that Vessel was great for translating that feeling into music.

"'Why?' ?" II's answering question is filled with such disbelief that Vessel wants to hide. He said something inappropriate, something secret that had previously only been dwelling in his mind, in a dark corner, and now he feels exposed. Why did he even open his mouth? Not good. Definitely bad.

Vessel is slumping against II a bit, like he doesn't know how to hold himself upright anymore, like he needs support. II must feel it, because he's still holding him, and it's been minutes and Vessel tries to squirm away, to save any dignity he might still possess, and II lets him slip out of the embrace, but his arms linger like he doesn't want to let go of his friend. His friend who just blurted out the worst response to a confession of gentle affection. Vessel looks so worried when he catches II's gaze and he immediately averts his eyes and takes a few small steps back, unconsciously gravitating towards his piano for protection, a sense of safety.

"You're my friend, Vessel," II tries approaching the man with soft words, "You're kind and considerate and a damn good musician," Vessel stops backing away when the back of his legs hit the edge of his piano bench, but he's still looking at the floor, "You pour your heart into writing and playing and it's amazing to see. You're committed, but patient and you help me every time I need. Even when I'm too embarrassed to ask," II tilts his head and steps a bit closer to try and catch Vessel's gaze, "I know you don't see it and I'm sorry that you can't because it's true. I would never lie to you about this, Ves. I love you, you're my best friend," Vessel presses his lips together, so II adds, "Not just because we live in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. You're the best friend I've ever had. And I'm glad Sleep led me to you."

Vessel gives him a look that shows he tries really hard to believe him, and adds in such a low voice it's almost a whisper, "I love you, too," as if he's embarrassed to admit it. But it's not embarrassment, II realizes, it's disbelief, it's some sort of deep shame about needing someone else, of relying on anyone else but himself at all times. And it makes sense, considering Vessel's nature, but II could never put it all together, since large chunks of Vessel's past were unfamiliar to him. He could have guessed based on how the man acted, but he didn't want to assume anything. It felt disrespectful. Vessel would share if he wanted.

"And I'm really glad you found me," just a beat of silence, before he adds, in an even quieter tone, if that's possible, "And that you stayed," Vessel risks a bashful glance towards II, and sees him blink rapidly, shocked by the implication of the other's words, before he shakes himself and steps closer to Vessel. He searches his face for apprehension, but doesn't find any, so he gently puts his hands on Vessel's upper arms and sits him down on his bench. Before Vessel can react, II has his arms wrapped around him, one around his shoulder, and the other's hand cupping the back of his head and cradling it to his front.

"You're important to me, Ves. You're special and precious and I love you," II's fingers caress the man's shoulder and card through his hair, "I want you to know that I'm here for you any time, okay?" Vessel is still stunned and he's sure he's going catch on fire if he gets any warmer. II twists a lock of hair around his finger, "Okay?" Words form and die in Vessel's throat so he just nods, rapidly, almost hurriedly, and II lets out a small chuckle. "You're amazing, you know that?" he nuzzles into Vessel's hair for a moment to murmur, "And adorable," II sways with the man in his arms a little and Vessel is sure he will combust. His face is flaming against II's shirt and he tries to suppress the half grimace-half grin on his face and feels unreal. "C'mon. Tea break?" II smiles down at him and offers a hand. Vessel can stand on his own, but doesn't reject the offer. He likes the warmth of II's hand and he can always use the stability and the reminder of the other's presence. II soon replaces his hand with a mug of tea, but it's considerably colder to Vessel. The contrast is especially palpable when II brushes his knuckles against Vessel's as he's handing him his tea. The mug is warm, but II's skin is burning against his. But it's not bad. It's a good burn. It makes Vessel feel alive. Seen. Loved?

Vessel learns that he doesn't have to prove himself to other people to receive love. Love is not something that has to be earned in their home. Love is not a reward, not something that Vessel has to work for, then be disappointed that in the end, it isn't actually given to him. He tried being good in the past, being silent and keeping his head down and being a good kid, but the warmth and the unconditional love didn't come. He still tried, though, he always tried his best, but apparently that wasn't enough. Or there wasn't actually love at the end of that tunnel. It was just a play of light. But that would have been cruel and Vessel would like to think that people in his past weren't intentionally unkind to him (he won't admit the truth to himself for a while).

II often tells Vessel that he's proud of him. For speaking up. For telling him when he's having a bad day. For asking for distance when he needs it and closeness when he feels like he will drift away. For admitting to messing up, when he falls back into bad habits of self-destruction and isolation. For doing a grocery run by himself even though he goes home almost shaking and has to spend the next hours under a blanket on the couch, because it was simply too much. For crying when he talks about memories that he tried his hardest to forget but he just can't. For asking for help and letting II help him, even though it's hard. It's really hard, and Vessel apologizes for it, for being fucked-up and broken and damaged goods. For wasting II's time and being a burden, a needy, greedy thing. Wretched. Minus human.

But II tells him he loves him and that he could never be a burden. That he will always be worth it, he always has been, and that he's sorry that people in Vessel's past couldn't see it. Couldn't see him for all that he is. For the friend who pays attention to little details so he can show his friend how much he values him. For the guy who bakes his friend a complicated cake for his birthday because he off-handedly told him he can't even remember what it tasted like, even though it used to be his favorite. For the amazing composer who can capture emotions one doesn't realize one has. For the hard-working, curious kid who thought that being obedient and not questioning authority was the way to earn praise and affection. For the little boy who thought something was wrong with him, that he did or didn't do something and that is why he couldn't feel loved. For the child who cried and cried, silent and under the cover of the night, hoping that no one would hear (and secretly hoping that somebody would and they would come and save him from the gaping emptiness that made its home in his chest, way too big and scary for a boy that little). For the boy and then the man who couldn't cry anymore but thought that that is more than alright, at least he can finally keep it all inside. For the partner who allowed himself to be vulnerable with someone he trusted. For the partner who made sure his other knew he was always welcome, even though his brain sometimes tried to tell him otherwise. For the partner who grew comfortable with expressing casual affection so much that terms like 'darling' became second nature to him (and for the way he blushed when II told him that). For the man who learned to accept that it's okay to admit to not being okay, to need someone, to want to not feel alone, to feel cherished, to have his feelings validated. For the man who can tell his partner anything and does, because he knows he can speak his mind and that there will be someone who listens.

II wanted to see Vessel. Vessel let him. Even before he showed the uglier and less than perfect parts of himself, II loved him all the same. It was never about being 'good' and silent and compliant. Vessel is good. Vessel is not good. He's amazing. He's perfect. He's wonderful. He's cherished. He's incredible. He's valued. He's seen. He's listened to. He's heard. He's finally, finally loved. Has been for longer than he dared to think. Will soon be by more people than he thought possible.

[oscconfessions]

hey, anon from the ask about being kinda scared of the osc. you asked me to elaborate. So, this might be long. Hopefully it's semi coherent.

One example would be the extremely intense loathing that people have for some characters. You see that in every fandom, but here there's so much of it. It's kind of draining tbh. i'll encounter so many people who have "(insert character here)'s Number 1 Hater" as their user or whatever, and they feel the need to constantly mention how they want that character to die a nasty death.

that sort of thing can be funny if it's a joke, cuz it IS just a fictional character after all, but people in the osc take it so seriously. the amount of hatred people on Pinterest specifically still have for Two is wild. and that's another thing! Even characters that have shown time and time again that they're good still have dedicated despisers who will always find new reasons to hate them. Like, it's time to move on buddy. This hate fixation cannot be healthy.

Try putting your energy into liking something for a change.

There's so much infighting here. Tacomic anyone? It all reminds me of the earlier days of toxic fandoms. Why can't people in the osc just relax about things? It's possible to have civil discussions about topics without going full on apeshitt.

Let people enjoy things, too! Good grief. III is actually pretty good when you don't have somebody constantly breathing down your neck telling you it sucks.

And the fics of like "(x) character goes insane and kills everyone lol" are so numerous. I'll see a couple of those kinda things in other fandoms, but it seems like the osc has a surplus of them. And they're very flippant in a way that's hard to take them seriously. the amount of specifically II dark fics of that variety is crazy to me. You can find one of basically every single character.

and the people who can't/chose not to separate fiction from reality. I've seen people on Twitter saying Cobs is.. you know, the thing his voice actor got fired for being. VA does not equal character. Please understand that. Literacy comprehension can be so low at times here.

and just in general, i encounter a lot of odd content in the osc that I've just not seen elsewhere. Stuff that you can tell the person didn't think twice about before putting it out there where everyone can see it. Like that cabbyyinyang noncon anon. I'll see fics in every fandom with that unfortunately, but the anon was so brazen about it. It feels like a blatant fetishization of a very dark topic. I don't encounter that in other fandoms. Not to this confident degree.

There's a specific obscure au that comes to mind, not gonna mention it cuz the person who made it is/was on Tumblr and also because it's vulgar and "creative" enough that it's honestly hard to describe without being explicit. It wasn't technically sexual but trust me when I say, holy crap, it was unnerving.

Maybe it all boils down to that osc is less emotionally mature than some other more calm fandoms, but I dont know. It seems like this community feels a lot, and they feel strongly. And don't like when other people don't feel the same way. We're definitely not the worst fandom though, not by a long shot. *shudders* the things I've seen in the Hazbin Hotel fandom....

.

[littlebluespoon]

hi I hope you don’t mind this but I just need to vent and I feel like I can trust you, I was just in the store with my mom buying stuff for thanks giving and we walk down an aisle and there’s this thin tall guy and he looks at me and as we walk past him he keeps watching me and fully turns and sort of follows us and as my mom is picking something out he grabs his phone and tries to discreetly record me and I notice and so as I turn around my mum does too and he leaves to the back of the store… this is the first time this has happened to me and it makes me hate the world I’m curvy (DD chest, small waist, and thicker thighs) and I have to worry about shit like this yeah I’ve heard crude perverted comments about my body before but have never fully been recorded by a man that looks in his mid to late thirties and I’m terrified and scared and feel like it’s my fault I just don’t know what to do right now so could i possibly get a small König comfort? :(

-🐙

Octo! I hope you're okay and feeling better. I would have answered this earlier but tumblrs notifications are crap.

First of all, it's not your fault. It's never your fault. These guys are creeps and unfortunately its our fear that they enjoy but not having some fear can also make these situations worse. Keep your head up Octo, I'm glad you weren't alone either. Don't be afraid to make a scene if you ever have to, a little embarrassment is better than something worse.

As for König and comfort, I can definitely do that.

TW; small mentions of panic and stalking, allusions to a panic attack, comfort

Sonne - Sun , Sonnenschein - Sunshine (In german, internet translations)

--

Usually König would come with you when you were doing the bigger shopping trips. This one was for a dinner with some of his teammates and their partners but unfortunately he was called to base for a paperwork dispute so you went alone. Of course this would be the time your ex decides to make a nuisance of himself.

The brief encounter had left you shaken, he hadn't said anything to you but his looming presence as you walked the store was enough. You pulled over halfway through the drive home to compose yourself and when you eventually got there, König was already home.

Forgetting the shopping, you ran straight through the door and into his chest, wrapping your arms around him,

"Sonnenschein? What's wrong?" He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you so that you weren't in view of the open front door. He keeps an eye on the door as he carries you to the couch.

"Sonne, are you okay?" He feels your small nod against his chest, "I'm going to close the door and then we can cuddle, okay?" He waits for your go ahead before doing so and before you could blink he's back at your side.

He pulls you down to the couch, on top of him, and pulls a blanket over both of you. He doesn't ask what happened, he's assured that you're safe and uninjured and he knows you'll tell him once you've calmed down and feel safe.

The shopping's forgotten as the two of you lie on the couch for the rest of the night, stroking each others skin where you could, just basking in the comfort of each other.

[shywhumpauthor]

Hi, Coal

Quick question-

Do you plan on joining any monthly whump challenges?

Like Whumpuary or Febuwhump?

Just wanted to know!

Thank you, and good day :)

Heyyy

(I was going to answer the question but then I got a little sidetracked with all of this heh.

Short answer: maybe, leaning towards probably not. I have to look into the challenges and see how long they are—I might do a short one maybe. It also depends on the prompts. Oh well I guess that that wouldn’t be a monthly challenge, as I was just writing this now like towards the end of all this crap I just noticed the “monthly” in your ask. Oops. Haha sorry Anon.

Also like, thank you for the ask. I miss getting and answering asks

Long answer: read below)

I don’t know why this was so difficult for me to answer, like I knew what I wanted to say but the words aren’t saying it right? That’s been my problem lately

I want to, but I don’t think I will. I’ve been in a writing slump for a while, and looking back at my blog over the past few months is embarrassing. I don’t know what to write, which is about as much as I can say. I don’t know what I want to write, and I can’t figure that out. Any idea is here one moment and then gone the next.

I wouldn’t say that I’m not inspired. I have thoughts for more whump stories I can write—have to come back to that—but they never make it past just being thoughts. I have also kinda stopped trying to write them, which is a problem that I’m really trying to overcome.

And the thing is, most of the ideas I get wouldn’t be good stand-alone snippets. I want a series, and I’m trying to get out of that mindset but any idea for a story now comes in context of some big series, and I haven’t been writing drabbles, much less series, so you can kinda see my problem there.

There’s also this story I’ve been trying to write, not a tumblr kind of story but like something for myself. I have a vague idea, and I want to write it, but a big thing is that my motivation relies nearly entirely on the interest of others.

I love everyone who reads my work, but with things like series and challenges, it’s complicated. I don’t know how to really explain it. With series, I want people to read the story and look at the characters how I look at them. I know that is unrealistic and shouldn’t be asked of anyone, especially not those here for whump (which is completely fine if that is your only interest with my blog. It’s why I created it, for whump. I’m trying to get back to that, I really am.)

With some of the series that belong to other authors, I get attached to their characters. I haven’t been reading around here much lately, but there’s always some blogs that I continuously check back on, even if to reread the series I’ve read at least a dozen times. I want someone to feel that was about my work, but at the same time I feel like none of my series are worth that kind of attention, even from myself looking back at them.

Now that I’ve completely lost the purpose of this ask, I’ll circle back.

When I do challenges, I always feel like the pieces don’t get enough attention, especially if they’re all stand alone snippets. Like I will have one of my favorite pieces I’ve ever written in the challenge sandwiched by all of this other crap, and it’ll just get lost. Challenges, I’ve found, always work better with series and named characters for me. Except, like I said earlier, series and I aren’t exactly getting along right now. Stupid bitches. And when I do a challenge with a series, I feel like I scare away all of the blogs who follow me for just the whump, who aren’t here for deep plots and background and all that. Which is completely valid also, and I love anyone who chooses to read any of my work. I understand if you aren’t a series person when it comes to whump. But at least to me, it seems like most people aren’t series people, and I feel bad for throwing that at everyone who doesn’t want it.

I forgot where I was going with that paragraph, which is probably for the better.

Also for challenges, I don’t think I would be able to commit to a month of writing unless I had weeks to prepare, which I would probably fall behind on anyway and not complete. Last year’s Whumpuary, I’m pretty sure, was only like two weeks or something I think. That’s where Noah’s series Surveillance comes from—unrelated sorry. So maybe if there’s something like that I can try. I don’t know, I’d have to look into it.

I used to try to write without thinking about it. I’d take an idea and run with it, and purposely not think about what would happen before or after or in different circumstances or if it’s realistic or not. But now, I want to think about it, which has definitely been one of the reasons I haven’t been writing lately. So yeah. I hope that makes sense.

Also right now, kinda going back to the posting for validation stuff, I feel bad posting this right now. People aren’t here for this, lmao anon you didn’t ask for this spiel. It got out of hand and lost focus, but this is all stuff that’s been on my mind lately so I just wanted to get it out, more so for my sake. I’m probably going to delete this in a few hours, like I do with most of my non-whump crap.

So, these last few paragraphs summed up, sorry for this

[rosieuv]

flashbacks/pathetic rant that you don't care about but I have this urge to post anyway

I remember back in year 10 someone in my year (I don't remember who but they were quite popular if that helps you imagine the kind of person) asked if I had a vlog. Pretty random question considering I don't typically talk to people like them and never mentioned it in conversation, but me being the naiive idiot I was, I told them that I had a Spacehey and gave them my username. Now this wouldn't be a problem if I wasn't so open back then online as I used it like a diary. Someone with common sense (ie modern day me) wouldn't make that public, let alone give it to someone I somewhat knew in real life.

Please, for the love of god, DON'T MAKE THAT CRAP PUBLIC! Now people I sorta knew (didn't know all of their names but they weren't complete strangers to me) were reading my thoughts and commenting on them in real life. What made it worse is that I wrote something offensive about someone that I would consider a friend, and I didn't realise at the time because 15 year old me was stupid as hell. I know it's been almost a year since then but I really fucked things up. I eventually made it friends only and there's no point in trying as I'm not accepting friend requests nor using that website anymore as it just reminds me of the shit I said. It's a shame though as that website was pretty cool: it was basically myspace but modern and had a nice little community (and it ran perfectly on my iphone 5c!).

God did I seriously traumatise myself with my own stupidity? ...Nah...probably just thinking too deep into it.

The blogging in me never left though, hence why this exists. Since late March of this year, I've kept a diary that I update almost every day (on the days like today where I missed the previous day, I force my brain to remember it). The diffrence is that I keep that stuff private, which is good as it means I can ramble on about god knows what, but now I'm constantly worried that it's going to be used againsed me as blackmail in the future as uhhhhh...it contains...stuff...anyway the interesting thing about that is that I would only comment about a particular thing in that day rather than talking about everything. I don't know how my memory was that good as I can't even remember what I did yesterday, let alone write an entire paragraph on how I stole a cookie from my school.

I don't know why but I have a habit of having these urges to post whatever's on my mind online to get rid of it. This story did teach me though, is that I should shut the hell up and not tell a single soul in real life that I have a tumblr blog. If I was in that situation today, I would ask them where they got that info from and then ignore them; ya know, what inteligent people do in that situation. I just really hope my parents don't find out about my online presence. I've kept it a secret for almost 4 years but I'm so scared now of people judging me that I never wanted to tell them. Mum's never even heard me swear before, how do I know she won't spent 40 minuites of my time talking to me about personal stuff? People's morals never seem to align with mine and I'm scared that I'll so something really bad and not realise what I've done until it's too late, just like what I did to the friend I mentioned earlier, who I really wanted to get to know more as they were really cool but I fucked things up and they deserve to never speak to me again. The annoying thing with people is that I can't read minds like others so I can't tell what exactly they think of me. It's easiest just not to talk to anyone and be by myself as at least I know myself 100%. The internet is no exeption to this too as all it takes is 1 blog post for me to potentially be:

a creep

a criminal

a bigot

someone who others think is not doing too well mentally

someone who others think is insane

and I wouldn't even know until after I pressed the post button. It's scary as I want to be somewhat well known on the internet but I know that I'll end up causing my own downfall or even worse: knowingly turn into either of those 5 and horrify my past self (aka my current self).

I don't know why I even typed this out, you're going to read this and either not care, or think there's something wrong with me (when there isn't). I just needed this out of my system but if you know me in real life and you've read all this: please, for the love of god, don't do anything about it.

[ohdailylife]

Celebrated my birthday early

Ok so my birthday is coming up soon it's march 10 2001 but today we celebrated it early on march 6 because my parents are busy with work and today was the day we can celebrate it, we first ate at this french cafe/restaurant I don't know if it was authentic french style because I never went to a french restaurant in France. so first we ate bread with butter twice i'm surprised the waiter gave us a second he was professional with work but when i talked to him by saying thank you he didn't say anything back to me, my parents both ate omelet with potatoes and I ate chicken panini with salad then after we ate we made it to seaworld we got there and after i showed my ticket we first went to this big ride and i rode the really big rollercoster but I forgot the name of it then i wrote a another one it was like with water, and then I went on a really big one and then on a mantices one with my mom my dad was tired of walking so he rested while eating something. my mom thought the ride we both went on wasn't scary but after going on it she said she regret it it and she said it was so scary, and to be honest i thought it was going to be a really scary ride for me but i grew out of that fear because i'm not scared of any rides anymore i can just go on it and not be scared. and then me, my mom and dad saw sharks and then went through a tunnel were you can see sharks, after that we saw penguins and my mom and i went to see a dolphin show and then we went to a gift shop but didn't really buy anything because there wasn't anything good there, the only thing we got was a mug there and my dad also bought me dipindots banana split flavor it was so good after that we went to that french cafe place from earlier to buy my birthday cake we bought it then ate at this Chinese restaurant i honestly thought it was going to be good but it was just ok after that we went home sang happy birthday and ate my cake but it was to sweet o well you know after that i rested and o my god now i have to get back to school work but I always tell myself that I shouldn't be lazy like toby because he's a lazy peace of lowlife bum and i'm way better then him, i'm just with him to make him happy and I don't love him at all and I don't see him as a daddy but I just say that so he can be happy after all he has divorced parents. Toby is lazy, clumsy, and doesn't even bother finishing school and doesn't even bother getting a job all he does is lay on his ass all day and play video games, he said couple times before that he wants to play soccer as a career but please o my god he has no experience and doesn't even bother practicing he's nothing and he's a embarrassment to me and my family and friends, he didn't even get a job because he doesn't have a high school diploma he as a good option to work at McDonald and he's like that's embarrassing i'm like uh yeah well that's what you get when you're lazy and don't try anything and the reason why he has a chance of working at McDonald is because his dad friend is a owner there and his ad told him my son is 21 he;s not working right now and doesn't have a job and toby said he was so embarsed he hid in the car like what a stupid peace of crap toby trash like straight up garbage and he's bascally out of my like he just doesn't know so yeah that's it for today and i'm going to comeback on tumblr when I have some more updates and news.

[squishyushi]

I don’t really have a good place to post about this so I’m gonna do it here on my lil tumblr blog, but I’m awake at 6am and have been up for 2ish hours and honestly I don’t know why but I can’t stop having thoughts about how huge the world is.

I am a rather existential person and I think about this stuff a lot but not usually to this level? Something that crossed my mind is that as many planets as there are out there, I’ve never really seen ones that look a lot like earth? Like when I think about earth it’s almost this cartoony planet with just the weirdest land mass layout compared to other planets I’ve seen. Not only is it weird but it’s extremely unique (again from what I’ve seen, I’m sure there’s plenty out there that look like earth but I’ve never seen them) in the way that earth has a huge amount of ocean and we really don’t talk about how big the Pacific Ocean is… like it’s huge… you can literally see a post I rebloged earlier that shows the earth from that side of the planet and you barely see any land what so ever above water on the side the Pacific Ocean covers, and I guess technically if you want to play semantics, all of the oceans are connected? Humans just named them differently based on regions not knowing it’s really one huge mass of water.

On top of all this I keep having thoughts about how we live here with people who have not even a glimpse of this information, there’s literally billions of us on this little marble and I’m sure not even half of us consider stuff like this, not only that but there people obsessed with keeping certain types of humans restricted and unable to live life how they want, their brains don’t even comprehend how little they are and how limited their thinking is. There’s humans on this planet who don’t even think about EARTH AS A PLANET all they think about is their town/village or city/country and what’s happening there, not even considering that there’s billions of us here and we are all equally confused and scared about what’s happening here…

Anyway I just wanted to vent about how insane it is to me that we exist and that there’s possible infinite planets out there going through the same shit and there’s probably a lil alien just like me, writing a post in their own alien language and talking about the same crap I am, infact there’s probably hundreds of thousands of millions of Me’s out there.

Or there isn’t and humans are the only living intelligence in the infinite cosmos and Christian’s/religious people are right and I’m going to hell while they all go to heaven 🤭

[kinz-aeh]

Summer 85 - Eddie Munson (2)

Part 2 (2/?)

Part 1

Summary: After a long day at work, you meet your crush in the parking lot. Little did you know, Eddie Munson is a real gentlemen.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!reader

Warning: Swearing. I think thats all. It’s pretty much fluff.

Author’s note: WOW, (I’m still scared !) I absolutely don’t know what happened. I just posted the first part more for myself and for fun. Next thing I know, a LOT of people are looking forward for the next part ! Thank you so much ! I don’t think this part is as good as the first one, and I’m not sure if it makes sens. But I kinda want it to be this way. And I’m still pretty happy about it! I do hope you enjoy it ! (sorry if I repeat words a lot TvT) **Also, I mention a few songs and music artists in this one, please let me know if you would like a spotify playlist including the songs and artists in question ! I suggest very much to go look at the artists if you don’t know about them cuz they are all great !**

I was asked to tag people but really idk how tumblr works much for now so I’m sorry TvT

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It was night, you just closed the parlor and went your way. Robin and Steve were following you a few feet behind, just to make sure it’s not a creepy guy who would harasse you in the parking lot. But Eddie Munson was standing there, at the parking lot, his back against his van. He seemed to be looking around, nervous. His hair, that was earlier tied into a low bun, was now untied and falling over his shoulders. He was smoking a cigarette. You really thought he was hot, there, in the dark of the parking lot, the street lamp light coming down on him.

You stopped yourself a bit far from him, out of his sight. You turned to look behind you, and both of your coworkers were hiding behind a car, looking at you. You were tired and still had your uniform on. You felt ashamed to approach him wearing… This kinda crap. But Steve was giving you the thumbs up to go on and meet him.

‘’Oh hey Y/N!’’ Eddie Munson called you, throwing his cigarette to the concrete floor and stepping on it. You looked at him, he had his huge smile on and yet again felt your cheeks flush with heat. You approached slowly, looking away from him, scared to look into his eyes. ‘’Hey’’ you simply said, not really knowing what to say.

‘’So…’’ He laughed a little approaching you, putting his hands on his hips. ‘’You did came ! That’s great !’’

‘’Yeah.’’ You really didn’t know what to say and you were scared to talk and show off your emotions. So you just, stood there, looking at the concrete and the awkward silence taking in the space between you two.

Eddie approached you a bit more and leaned in front of you, so your eyes could meet. He smiled at you. ‘’Why so shy ?’’ He asked.

‘’What ?’’ You said, trying to look away again, but every time your eyes were looking at something different, Eddie was jumping into your view, with his big smile. For some reason, that made you laugh. So your last option was to hide your face. ‘’No ! Don’t hide ! Did you know your eyes are beautiful ? No joke.’’ He said taking your hands in his and getting them away from your face. He was now holding your hands. His hands weren’t very soft, they were a bit rough at the touch. Probably because he played a lot of guitar, or did hard work, or something like that. Holding his hands felt like a lightning bolt rushing through your veins, it made you hold your breath. You decided to look right into his eyes.

‘’I wish I’d have something else to wear.’’ Was the first thing you said, but then quickly added. ‘’I mean, I worked all day, it smells like ice cream and I’m kinda feeling shitty right now because of the smell, it stinks ice cream. And you know working for hours with ice cream, you just wanna get changed and all, I mean… Huh.’’ You were talking so fast. You were nervous and it showed. ‘’Sorry’’ you added in a sigh as you decided to part your hands from his.

‘’It’s ok. I get it I guess. Well not really but anyways. Maybe you should go home.’’ He said, playing with his hair. For a second you just stood there in silence, nodding your head.

‘’I guess so. Then hum…’’ You paused, didn’t know what to do. ‘’Then, see you next time.’’ You turned, ready to leave.

But Eddie looked at you surprised. He took your hand again, so you could stay. ‘’Where are you going ? I could give you a ride home maybe ? Well… It’s up to you of course but, isn’t it a bit scary to walk all the way home alone in the dark? My old man never really thought me how to be a gentlemen, but I know how to be polite at least.’’

You felt your knees weak. Eddie ‘’The Freak’’ Munson wanted to give you a ride home. You took a second to actually think about it. Of course you wanted to say yes, but staying next to him for a few minutes would leave you unable to speak, or breath, probably. But, it was now or never. You took your courage in your hands and smiled at him.

‘’Yes, sure… Hum… Thank you.’’ You said as he let go of your hand. He smiled and nodded, turning and going to his van to open you the passenger seat’s door. Politely, like a gentlemen, he bowed and showed you the seat. Before jumping in, you looked in Robin and Steve’s direction, they were all smiling and giving you too many thumbs up. So you did enter the van.

Eddie closed the car’s door behind you and you attached your seat belt. He then went to his driver’s seat and started the engine. Loud music started to pour out the car’s radio. A bit too loud, the second after he started the car, Eddie turned the volume down for you. Jesus. It smelled so much like him. It smelled a bit of weed too, but you didn’t mind. As he drove away from Starcourt Mall, he then asked you were you lived and the trajectory. You responded as your curiosity piked when you saw some music tapes thrown a bit everywhere in the car. One was on the floor at your feet, so you took it and looked at the title.

‘’Holy Diver… Dio’’ You murmured, more to yourself. You guessed it was heavy metal, it would be more surprising to find a cassette of Madonna around here, really.

‘’Oh, it’s metal, you probably don’t know much about it.’’ Tried to guess Eddie, turning his eyes to you for a sec. You smiled a little. ‘’Well, it depends. I don’t know every metal groups of all times. I do know a couple, probably the more obvious ones, like Metallica or Black Sabbath. I like it but I wouldn’t listen to it every day.’’ You said, more comfortable as music always was a subject you loved talking about.

‘’Really huh ! Oh right ! You told me you wanted to be a radio host once.’’ He said, his eyes on the road, snapping his fingers as he remembered. You stopped to breath for a second. He remembered what you said to him ? Instead of responding to him, you just tried to concentrate on the cassette in your hands. But your thoughts were going back and fort in your mind so fast, it made you whisper.

‘’You remembered.’’

‘’I did.’’ He said, in the same tone, but a bit louder than you. You looked at him, he was biting his lower lip, eyes still on the road, drumming his fingers nervously on the steering wheel. ‘’I also remember you humming Edge of Seventeen when you tried to focus on the work.’’ He added in a chuckle, looking at you for a brief moment. He stopped at a house, looking at the number. The lights were out and no car was parked at the front. This meant your parents were out. ‘’And I think we’re here ! It’s your house right ?’’

You were a bit surprised, you didn’t really remember humming one of your favorite songs during that homework session with Eddie. But you knew he wasn’t wrong. Humming a song during work was a habit. You only forced yourself not to hum when you were at the library or during an exam. But humming always helped you focus on work.

‘’Wait what ?’’ You asked turning yourself to Eddie, smiling a little. ‘’How did you know it was Edge of Seventeen ?’’

He snorts at you for a second and responded ‘’Common baby, I know I love Metal, but I’m not that uncultured.’’

‘’Baby ?’’ You asked looking right into his eyes, surprised. Now, it was his turn to be shy, and it was your turn to smile. His face became a bit red and he shook his head, like he betrayed himself and couldn’t believe it.

‘’Yeah ! I never said that. You never herd me. It was… The wind!’’ That made you laugh out loud. Eddie was looking at you, smiling, admiring you and your beautiful smile. He also looked at your hands realizing you were still holding onto that Dio cassette. ‘’You know, you can keep it.’’

You stopped laughing and looked at the cassette. It was obvious he was talking about it. ‘’Keep it? I don’t think so, I might borrow it.’’

‘’I still could buy myself a new one, you know.’’

‘’But borrowing it gives me a reason to come and see you again.’’ You said, with your shy smile growing a little. You couldn’t believe what you just said. It really came out of your mouth. Eddie opened his mouth in a big ‘’O’’ shape and chuckled. He seemed surprised. It was unusual from you to say things like this. It amused him.

‘’Flirting are we !’’ He said, teasing. Then he nodded. ‘’Okay, then, you can borrow it. But know that I have many many records and tapes you can borrow, whenever. Just let me know.’’ There it is, he tilted his head on the side and looked at you with some sort of puppy eyes. That was just adorable.

‘’Actually, I have an idea.’’ You said, looking at the tape of Dio. ‘’Why not, I borrow from you…’’ Your look went back up to Eddie’s. ‘’And you borrow one of my tapes. I have a shit load of music tapes at home. Just come inside and choose one!’’

Eddie looked at you in silence, mouth opened, his tongue a little bit out. He scratched his chin with his finger and seemed to think. ‘’Well, I’m not sure your parents will be happy to see a ‘’Freak’’ with their sweet little angle child in their home.’’

‘’Eddie, they’re clearly not here. And you’re not a freak.’’ You said. He still took a moment to think. ‘’And that’s huh… An invitation I imagine ?’’ You nodded, your heart beating so fast. You couldn’t believe it, all your fears going away, getting better at this, smiling, taking over the conversation, things you usually didn’t do. You were still as shy but, you managed to talk to Eddie and, even flirt with him. For some reason, Eddie made you feel comfortable. ‘’Well, I guess I could choose one or two.’’ He finally agreed.

—

‘’You can look around for a tape, I’m just gonna get changed.’’ You said as you opened your bedroom door, letting Eddie enter after you. Your heart was racing you almost thought you were about to have a cardiac arrest. Eddie was in your room. In your room. In. Your. Room. For a minute you couldn’t think of what to do.

You forgot to clean your bedroom earlier in the day. There were clothes hanging around, a bit everywhere, but not much honestly. Your bed was messy too. You were suddenly very aware of the bra that was on your bedside table. You just came to your bed very fast to hide it in your laundry basket. But Eddie was looking around and didn’t see you in action. You had a bookshelf corner, filled with music tapes instead of books. On the floor, there were the books that were supposed to go on your bookshelves. You had a desk filled with paper and pens and, of course your walkman laying there was ready for you to come back and listen to another tape. You went for your dresser and picked up some clean clothes to change into. When you turned, Eddie was looking at your music tapes. ‘’Be right back. You can stay here.’’ You said as you left your bedroom so fast in direction of your bathroom. Once in the bathroom, you looked at yourself in the mirror, trying to slowly breath so you don’t panic over the fact that Eddie ‘’SEXY’’ Munson was in your bedroom. You changed yourself in some comfortable pajamas and went back into your bedroom. You started to clean up a little, shy about him seeing all your clothes and some junk thrown a bit everywhere in your room.

‘’You don’t have to clean up, yah know. My trailer is way worse than your bedroom.’’ He said in a small laugh, looking at a tape he took in his hands. ‘’You do have an insane amount of tapes.’’

‘’What can I say, music is my passion.’’ You said, putting your clothes in your laundry basket. He turned to you for a second, with a shy smile on.

‘’Then, maybe you could offer me some advise.’’ He said, putting back your Stevie Nicks tape at its right place. You saw his hand fall into his back pockets. You just looked at him for a moment, the same way as you did earlier at Scoops Ahoy. He was standing there, looking at your bookshelf and waiting on your advise. Beautiful in the dim light of your bedroom. You woke a little from your daydream and went to the bookshelf and searched for a tape.

‘’I guess you don’t like pop music.’’

‘’Not my music of choice indeed. I don’t like it when it’s too catchy.’’

So you looked at the more rock/punk and blues genres you had in your collection. You had albums from the 60s, 70s and early 80s.

‘’Mhh.. Maybe The Gun Club or The Fans. Or even The Clash maybe. It’s difficult to find something you might like and still not know. You seem to already listen to rock music a lot.’’ You heard a cute snort and continued to look around.

‘’Actually not that much. Well, pop rock especially. Maybe from time to time I hear songs on the radio, but I listen to a lot of metal music and really hard rock songs, so… Yeah. Don’t know much more about all the different rock genres.’’

‘’Have you listened to Queen before ?’’ You asked, taking the tape A Night At The Opera from Queen. ‘’I mean, yeah of course. I know more of their really early songs that shaped trash metal music, up until Stone Cold Crazy, but I never really looked more into this group…’’ He shrugged, tilting his head on one side and crossing his arms over his chest. His look fell at his shoes. ‘’So you never heard Bohemian Rhapsody, the most rock ’n’ roll song of all time.’’

‘’Bohow what ?’’ He said, his head back up looking at you. That made you laugh so hard. You shook your head and went to your stereo. You couldn’t believe it. Eddie Munson was listening to so much metal music that he was missing out the other good stuff ?

‘’So you’re telling me that you know Stevie Nicks… But missed out on Queen ? I can’t believe you don’t even know Bohemian Rhapsody! You never heard of it? It’s the most known rock song of all time ! And you told me you were cultured!’’ He shook his head as you continued to add more comments about your favorite song, and the fact that he didn’t know about it.

‘’I told you pop rock is just not made for me. I barely know Queen.’’ He said in a snort.

You put the tape in your stereo and started to skip the first songs of the album until Bohemian Rhapsody started to play. The first words started to pour out of your stereo, forming a beautiful melody that you knew too much, and still loved till this day:

Is this the real life ? Is this just fantasy ?

Caught in a landslide…

’’This song, mister metalhead, is the best song of all time, it is not just pop rock, it’s hard rock, alternative, whatever the fuck you want it to be, even opera, and more different styles too! All at the same time ! It shaped the next years of rock and I believe a part of metal too.’’

That took him off guard. He just listened to the song, looking right at you, smiling a little and nodding his head. Aside Edge of Seventeen, Bohemian Rhapsody was your favorite song. Freddie Mercury’s voice rang into your ears, and you started to move your lips at the same time. Smiling and whispering the words, so Eddie could hear the song instead of hearing you scream out the lyrics out of your lungs. You really forced yourself not to scream the words.

He found his way to your desk’s chair and sat, just the time to listen to it. He seemed focused. And you found your way to your bed. Heads in the clouds, daydreaming yet again. You remembered watching the music video on your tv, just once, and it opened you a door to so many different songs and music genres. You always dreamed to meet the band, you had so many questions in mind, so many things to say to Queen. It’s because of Bohemian Rhapsody that you started listening to other artists, to rock and metal and grunge and punk.

‘’Shit, it’s like listening 4 different songs.’’ He said, his eyes still on the stereo and head banging a little as the hard rock part came in.

You finally started to sing out loud, your favorite part coming on. ‘’So you think you could stone me and spit in my eye ! So you think you can love me and leave me to die?! Ooooh bab…’’

But then, right before you could continue, you heard the front door of your house open, steps coming in. ‘’Y/N ! We’re home ! Oh honey she’s again blasting the house down with her darn music. Y/N ? Y/N ! Low the volume down !’’ You heard your mom call.

You jumped out of your bed, surprised. You went straight to your stereo and stopped the music. ‘’Shit.’’ You let out in a whisper as you took the tape out with shaky hands. Eddie stood up and looked at you, trying to figure out what to do as your parents came home. ‘’Huh’’ You put the in its box and approached Eddie to give it to him. ‘’The window !’’

‘’Wait you’re throwing me out the window ?’’ He whispered, surprised as you pushed him toward your bedroom window. Your bedroom was on the first floor so it wasn’t dangerous for him to jump out and go safely to his van. ‘’No choice, if my parents see you…’’ ‘’I told you that !’’ He whispered anxiously as you opened your window. He jumped out, but before going, he turned to you. His two hands were gripping yours. ‘’I didn’t say that in an angry way. Don’t feel bad about the shit I say sometimes. Please’’ You snort and look right at him.

‘’I’m still working tomorrow. Maybe you could come by...’’

He leaned in and softly kissed your lips. You didn’t respond, because you didn’t know what to do. You did have your first kiss before this one, but right now, you just couldn’t believe he was kissing you right there, out of the blue. He took a step back and put his hand on his mouth. ‘’Sorry! I hope it wasn’t your first or something I huh… I just… It’s just…’’ His voice was shaking a bit and you could feel his nervousness. He seemed very different than earlier at the ice cream parlor.

‘’Y/N ? Are you in there ? Can I come in ?’’ Your mom said while opening the door. ‘’Mom I’m changing !’’ You screamed so loud, Eddie was trying his best not to laugh. At least, your mom didn’t enter and closed the door shut.

‘’Oop ! Sorry darling. Take your time !’’

‘’I liked it.’’ You whispered, biting your lips, your heart beating so fast, and now it was your turn. You leaned and left a soft peck on the tip of his lips. ‘’But now go before my dad throws a shoe at you !’’ You whispered in a laugh, your heart beating so hard you swore Eddie could hear it too. Eddie didn’t say bye, he just smiled, putting a hand in his hair and walking backwards while looking at you. He practically fell on his way to his van, because he was too dumbstruck by you, and wasn’t looking where his feet were landing.

Once Eddie was gone, you turned to your door, a huge smile on.

‘’I’m done changing !’’

[sunnysunoo]

Love Letters ; Sim Jake

Pairing: Jake X Reader

warnings: explicit language and cursing

word count: 3k words

genre: friends to lovers au! fluff with tiny pieces of crack lmao

Jake was always known for being this perfect guy in school. I mean, they're not wrong. They always described him as if he's this walking piece of art in the hallways. People would stop to just stare at him. You'd stare at him all day too, but you set priorities first: writing him love letters.

You're no Lara Jean, but I guess you can say that she's what inspired you to write Jake letters. Who needs Peter Kavinsky when Jake Shim exists anyways?

note: Not me completely disappearing off of tumblr for like months and then showing up again suddenly lol. I got really busy the past few months since I was completing requirements for school, and I really didn't have the motivation to do anything at the time so I took so time off to take care of myself first so I hope you understand :) But now since it's summer break, I am given at least 2 more months until I go back to school in August :)) Here's the long-awaited Jake imagine that I completely forgot about lmao hope you enjoy <3

P.S I finished writing this at 1:26 am so please excuse the really shitty plot and grammar ill rewrite it once i wake up

tag list: @cha-raena ( sorry for the rlly late post bestie )

Dear Jake, First of all, I will never call you Jaeyun because calling you by your English name makes me feel like I'm your friend. Calling you by your Korean name makes us feel like we're cold strangers to one another and I don't want that. I want us to be something more than that, but it's hard when you don't even know who I am. I'm surprised how you don't grow tired of me just dropping letters right into your locker every time you open it, and that's one of the things I love about you. You don't just throw away people's efforts and you treasure them with care. It makes my heart beat so fast as if I ran miles away from here.

We're already one year left until we graduate high school, and I don't want to end my high school years without you realizing my feelings for you. I know for sure that you would never reciprocate the feelings that I have towards you, so I want to treat this as closure in case we do forget about each other in the future. Yours truly,

Moon

__

"How is this person not over you? That's like the tenth one this month," Jay said, looking over Jake as he reads the letter from his secret admirer. Jake has always been receiving these letters from the same person everyday for the past four months. He's thankful for the letters because they definitely make his day better, knowing that there's someone out there who loves him as who he is regardless of looks. He's not gonna lie that these little notes and letters make his heart race too. "Do you have any plans with finding the person behind the letters?" Jay asked as he watches his best friend trying to hide the small smile that's been growing. No one really knows who this mysterious person is and why they decided to name themselves the moon, but we don't judge anyone in here. If they want to be the moon in their next life, then so be it. "I really want to find the person who's making these letters," Jake shoved the letter in his backpack, trying to not wrinkle it. "But I don't know where to start." "Who's finding who?" A voice popped suddenly beside the presence of the two boys. You leaned beside the locker beside Jake's, watching him as he grabs his books from his locker. "Did Moon drop your daily letter today again?" "They did as usual," Jake wasn't even surprised. He would expect the letters every time he enters the school in the morning. He would open his locker to see the usual small letter placed inside his locker. He usually arrives at seven or earlier, but he's surprised that he could never even catch a glance of this anonymous sender around the campus. "Should I go to school at five in the morning?" "Five in the morning? Isn't that a bit too early?" You questioned, followed by a shaky breath. "The school doesn't even open until six." "I could just walk to that nearby convenience store I always pass by to grab a coffee." He argues, closing his locker shut before walking towards his classroom.

You and Jay followed beside him, and you sneered under your breath, "You don't even wake up to your alarm clock."

"Why don't you even want me to go early anyway?" He glances as you try to give him an answer. But before you could say something, Jay replies first.

"You’re probably hiding something." He said. You rolled your eyes and narrowed your eyes at him. "You are so weird." You grunted, before walking ahead of them. You feel panicked because you were scared that you made yourself obvious to them.

__

You were inside your classroom sitting on your desk. There were only fifteen minutes left before lunch, but you had eaten your packed meal before instead of going to your school cafeteria. You were fidgeting in your place, conflicted about Jake finding his secret admirer, not knowing that it was you who's been sending him letters the past few months. You're not scared of him finding out that the letters were from you; that was the entire reason why you wrote him letters in the first place. You're scared of how he was gonna confront you about it. Would he like you back? Would he hate you? Would he avoid you?

Your mind was full of scenarios but you were suddenly brought back to reality when a hand planted itself on your desk. You look up and saw Jay standing in front of you, eating sushi with his other hand. His face kinda looks like he knows something, and it's freaking you out a bit.

"What?" You asked, suddenly flustered over how his eyes stared right into you. He took the seat in front of your desk and flipped it so it was facing you. He sat down and blurted the phrase that you were dreading to hear from anyone.

"So, you like Jake?"

You suddenly feel like punching him in the face with his sushi.

"What??" Your body felt like, and you were left a nervous mess. Your heart like it was going to pump right out of your chest any minute, and your hands started to sweat.

Jay's mouth formed into a smirk. He caught you. "Jake may be a bit oblivious, but I can totally see right through you."

“Haha...no you don’t,” You tried to deny, but it was all useless when his expression looked unconvinced.

“Oh yeah? Then why are you all red? You look like a bursting tomato.”

“You don’t know that," You leaned further into your seat, playing with the strings of your hoodie.

“C’mon Y/N, you’re not even trying. Just give up and admit it,” Jay was trying to help you confess your feelings for Jake. Frankly, he knew it was you sending him letters this whole time—how can Jake not see it?

With a heavy sigh, you slumped and laid your head on your desk, embarrassed. “Fine. I like him, okay? Are you happy now?”

The smirk on his face grew wider, feeling proud of himself. You are not dealing with his annoying crap this early in the morning. He grinned and munched on his half-eaten sushi. “I knew it.”

“Congratulations,” It was muffled because you hid your red face away from him. All that was on your mind now was how you could book yourself a flight all the way across the world.

“But seriously, since when did you have a crush on him?” You raised your head to face him, giving him a look that could kill, except Jay finds it entertaining rather than intimidating.

“I started having a crush on him when we were in fifth grade. It was at a friend's birthday party, and he saw me being all quiet and lonely. Honestly, I forgot who’s birthday that was.” You told him the very first time you had discovered feelings.

“He saw how sad I looked so he accompanied me the whole time. He was even trying to feel more included in the games and stuff.” You felt a smile ghosting on your lips as you can still vividly remember how you felt your heart tug the first time. “It was kinda like I fell in love at first sight.”

Jay faked a gag, so you lightly punched him in the shoulder. He may be a bit of an asshole, but he’s one the most caring and kind people you’ve ever met. It honestly felt good spilling out your feelings about Jake to him.

Speaking of, Jake was watching you two play around and laugh at Jay's little jokes from outside, and he felt something burning from inside him. Was it that he felt jealous of you and Jay?

No, he can’t be...right?

Maybe it was because of how he felt separated from you and Jay because of him being a separate class.

Yeah, maybe it's because of that.

__

Dear Jake,

I just had the most bizarre day today, and I felt like telling you about it.

It was chemistry period, and we had to be partnered with someone for a lab project. I ended up getting paired with Yeojin. We kinda created this unexpected friendship, which I love. We would crack jokes at each other, tell funny stories, it was so fun to be with her that we had completely forgotten about our project. So now, we both got a detention slip for making an accidental explosion.

How about you? How was your day? I hope it was just as fun as mine. If you feel like the day just wasn't as happy or you're feeling down, just now that it's okay to feel that way because days like these just lasts for 24 hours. It will be all over before you know it and you'll be greeted by another day. Maybe it will be different, and you would be all happy again just like how my day went. Maybe being with you would be my happiest day yet, and I couldn't wait for that day to come. See you soon :)

Love,

Moon

__

"Yeojin!" Jake called, seeing her walk down the opposite way. "Hey, mind if I ask you something?"

"Hey Jake," She greeted him with a smile. "Sure, go ahead."

"Could you perhaps give me any information about your partner in Chemistry?" He had hopes of getting any kind of description about his mysterious sender, but he was instead given a sad frown on Yeojin's face.

"Sorry Jake, but that person told me not to tell you about their information." She gave an apologetic smile. "I wish you all the best in finding them!"

Jake muttered a small "okay," and sighed before walking away, feeling defeated.

Yeojin knew that he was gonna ask about Moon the moment he called her from across the hall. She couldn't wait to tell you about this.

__

"Hey Y/N," A voice said from behind. You turned around to see Jake with his backup hung on his shoulder. He brought his hand up and raked his hair, and you felt your face grow red. Jake is like a gift from the gods. How can someone look so ethereal even if they're just standing there? You could stare at him all day. You couldn't even understand a thing he said until he started waving his hands in front of you.

"Hello?" You blinked multiple times as you were brought back out to reality. You saw Jake's face grow into concern. "Are you okay? spaced out."

"O-oh..No, I'm completely fine." You reassured him, feeling embarrassed. "What were you saying again?"

"I was asking you if you wanted to go to school with me early tomorrow."

Well, shit.

Your eyes started to go wide, and your hands started to go clammy.

"Tomorrow?" You repeated, voice trembling.

'Well, yeah." He pouted his lips, and you felt like melting into a small puddle in your place. Your heart started to pound heavily.

Oh my fucking god, he is so adorable.

"Okay, sure I can go with you tomorrow," You weakly smiled at him, slightly tense.

How we're you going to give him the letter now?

__

"Good Morning," Jake said as he watches you close the gates of your house. It was past five in the morning, and you were a mess.

"Morning," You replied back before running your fingers through your hair, getting rid of any flyaways.

As you started walking your way to the bus stop, Jake kept on glancing towards you from time to time. He knew you were pretty, but since when did you become really beautiful in his eyes?

The walk was pretty quiet, but it was a comfortable silence. For him, mostly.

Meanwhile, you couldn't stop freaking out. You had written a letter the night before, but you don't know how you were going to slip it into his locker without him taking notice. If he saw you, he would know.

"Are you sure you're okay? You've been like this since yesterday," Jake blurted. You looked at him before heaving a sigh.

"It's nothing," You mouthed, suddenly feeling anxious and gloomy.

"Something on your mind?"

"Something like that." It was hopeless. I guess he would have to miss this letter today. It was the first time you skipped a day, and you're feeling guilty that you would have to see Jake's face sadden that he wouldn't receive it today.

As you two stop at the bus stop, Jake looked slightly panicked as he was rummaging through the pockets of his blazer before looking through his bag. "Hey, do you have an extra pen? I left mine at home and I have a quiz today."

You snickered, "Out of all the days, Sim Jake. The same day you have a quiz is the same day you forget your pen."

"Very funny." He scoffed.

As you unzipped your bag to grab your pencil case, a folded piece of paper fell out without you realizing it. When Jake went to pick it up, he notices that it was folded the same way as the letters in his locker. It looked so identical.

Once you already got your pencil case out, you were about to hand it to him when you saw what he was holding that made your body freeze with your hand holding the case in the air.

"Why were one of my letters inside your bag?" He glanced at you, waiting for you to reply.

If you were freaking out before, this is a whole other thing. The thing that you were fearing the most is happening right before you.

"Maybe it fell into my bag yesterday..." You stammered, making up an excuse to look like it was an accident. You were tightly holding onto your pencil case, chanting many curse words in your head as you watch Jake unfold the letter.

"I don't think I've received this one yet," He said before he opened the letter and read it.

You watch as his expression formed into confusion as he reads through the paper. It only took a few moments before something in him clicked that it was you sending him the letters.

"Y/N," He began, and you started quivering in fear.

You should've known this would happen, but you didn't expect it to happen this sooner. In fact, you believed that this wouldn't happen at all. But it did.

"Let me explain," You eventually gave up and accepted fate and watch as your identity as "Moon" be revealed to your crush. You're now exposed so you didn't have any other choice but to explain everything. "Yes, I am Moon. I was the one writing you the letters that you've been getting in your locker."

Jake's face was unreadable. He looked bewildered and puzzled. He was trying to comprehend what was happening right now. All this time, it was you?

"I started crushing on you when we attended that birthday party before. I didn't want to confess my feelings for you because I was scared that you were going to harshly reject me, so I started writing down letters as a way to tell you how I feel about you without making you feel awkward around me." You continued, eyes suddenly taking an interest in your shoes. They were brand new too.

Jake was silent, and you felt your heart crack into pieces. You were mad at yourself for being so careless about it that he ended up finding out about you as his secret admirer. You wanted nothing else but to run back home, lock yourself in your room and cry with your sad playlist on loop.

You were expecting a harsh rejection coming from him, but what surprised was how he took dangerous steps towards you, minimizing the gap between you two. He placed his hand under your chin, forcing you to look up at him.

"I don't plan on rejecting you Y/N," You stare into his eyes as it reflects the sunlight of the early morning. "I'm actually happy that it was you."

You look at him, puzzled. He lowly chuckles under his breath before leaning over to place his lips against yours. It was a light, quick kiss, but it brought you feeling ecstatic. You've dreamed of this moment before, and now that it happened, you thanked your clumsiness.

As he pulled away, you were sure your face was a red mess.

"Thank you," His smile was as bright as the stars in the sky. It was the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. "Thank you for making me like I'm special to someone."

You felt flustered over his words. You were scared that he could hear the sound of your heart pounding loudly. The butterflies in your stomach were going wild, and you felt like this was all a dream.

"So, what am I to you now?" You broke into a smile as he grabs your hand, intertwining your fingers with his.

Jake acted as if he was thinking, "Hm..maybe my best friend still?"

He bursts into a fit of giggles as he sees your smile slowly disappear, replacing it with a look of disbelief. You removed your hand from his and walked at a faster pace away from him.

He ran to match your pace beside you before holding your hand again, "I'm sorry, I won't ever do that again. Is my girl mad at me?"

"Oh my god, it's only five-fifty, Jake." You too broke into laughter over his cheesiness, but your heart fluttered over the thought of Jake calling you his.

__

HERE’S A LITTLE BONUS! since I've made you guys wait for 4 months :(

"What the fuck?" Was the first thing You heard from Jay as you and Jake entered the classroom. All of your classmates were staring at your and his hands intertwined together.

Jay stood in front of you two, crossing his arms together. "Can one of you explain when this happened?" he motioned towards your linking hands. You and Jake smiled at each other before walking away, leaving Jay in a fit of joy, and confusion.

[clownpi]

Interesting observation

When I am feeling absolutely crummy and take a nap I can come up with the most interesting ideas for suffering in my fanfic, usually I just think about fluff. Guess when I feel like shit I want my characters to suffer as well.

Came up with an interesting story idea of my Second Chances series regarding something neat I could do with Lux to twist the knife which does link with some things hinted at earlier, but the idea would definitely force a status quo change going forward and would have the possibility of leading to a separation arc if I felt like causing pain (even if it’ll only be half as dramatic as “Gotta Go My Own Way” from HSM2 sadly).

Does have Augatha strutting in to Piltover to absolutely gatekeep gaslight girlboss Lux + some toxic loving on her end (along with her doing some incredibly fucked up things to Lux as a child, even more than already implied). Somewhat like the idea of Augatha seeing how scared Lux is over Jinx finding out about the real her and Augatha being like “Fuck it, I’m going to force you to confront this issue,” and just smacks Lux right upside the head with the good ol’steel chair (proverbial) of emotional pain.

Would give more info, but most of it is vague even to me outside of some coolish scenes and I don’t even know if I’d end up doing it lol. Maybe if I get a clearer idea I’ll like ask the open void of tumblr? idk

Will nap on it more since I still feel like crap and like half delirious or something? This post just feels like a weird ramble I’ll look at later and go like why’d I type this?

[severetimetravelnerd]

Let’s stitch this up (ft. G Dragon)

Jiyong draws the line.

(I don’t own any of the images used. All credit goes to the original owners.)

Taglist:

@unabashedturkeytreeslime​

@happiestgirlontheeastcoast​

@kwonnansi​

Word count : 3343

If there is anyone else who would like to be tagged, you can comment or leave me a message :))

I only write on this blog on tumblr, so if you see my work on any other platform, please let me know immediately.

I know it’s been a while, but I hope you enjoy this one :))

Features appearances from OC Mirae and Kwon Dami.

Warnings: Angst, cursing, surgery (Appendectomy) 

————————————————————————–

You sighed as you looked down at the counter, face slightly pale, thinking back to your doctor’s visit earlier today. You were scared. You had never had surgery before and you didn’t know an appendectomy was an emergency procedure. You shuddered lightly before groaning, putting your face in your hands. It was early, but you had had a long day. You just wanted to hit the bed and get a good night’s sleep, but the only problem with that was you wanted to discuss your health with your boyfriend Jiyong, but he wasn’t home yet. He was working and, on some nights, he would go out for a drink, and get late. You were just about to change into your pajamas and lightly complain about him not being home to yourself when you heard the front door open. Through all your worry, you felt a light smile spread across your face. Jiyong was home. You just needed a little comforting, and no one was as good at comforting you as Jiyong. You walked towards the front door, smiling and wrapping your arms around him. 

“Hi Ji. How was your day?” 

You were more than surprised when he shrugged you off harshly and turned around looking furious. You took a few steps back, shocked at his reaction. Before you could ask him what was wrong, he said very sarcastically, 

“I don’t know Y/N. You tell me.” 

Your eyebrows shot up, too shocked to say anything. He rolled his eyes and started off. 

“Why did you ditch my sister, Y/N? You know how important she is to me. Even if you don’t like her, just be civil to her! Why can’t you even do that?” 

Your face furrowed up in confusion.

 “What? Jiyong, no. I love your sister. I didn’t ditch her. What happened-” 

Jiyong got even angrier.

 “Oh, for fuck’s sake Y/N. Don’t lie to me. Why did my sister call me asking where you went?” 

He paused to glare at you. Running his fingers through his hair, he said, 

“All you had to do was have lunch with her Y/N. Why was that so hard?”

 You were on the verge of tears. You had a long day. You didn’t ditch his sister. Halfway through lunch, your stomach began hurting furiously, so you apologised for leaving and left for the hospital, where you got diagnosed with appendicitis and had your surgery fixed. You were scared, you were in pain and you didn’t mean to hurt his sister’s feelings.

 “Ji, sweetheart, listen to me. That’s not-” 

You paused when you saw the look of sheer disbelief on his face. He rolled his eyes again and scoffed. His voice furiously low, he said,

 “Oh, come on. Don’t give me that crap. You know you crossed the line here.” 

You could hear this ringing in your ears and you felt your gut twist a little. You voice soft, you asked, 

“There’s a line?” 

He snapped.

 “Of course, there’s a line Y/N. This is my family we’re talking about.”

 Your voice was still deadly quiet, so much so that he couldn’t hear the small break in your voice when you said,

 “And I’m not?” 

And when he didn’t reply, you knew you were both on different pages.

You stood there, frozen in shock, trying to comprehend everything that was happening, but Jiyong sighed and said, 

“I’m going to go talk to my sister and fix this.”

 And he left. Just like that, he left you. You knew what you had to do. You knew you needed to end the relationship. If Jiyong drew a line and never considered you his family, then you were both worlds apart when it came to where you wanted things to go. You wanted nothing more than to start a family with him, but this wasn’t right. He didn’t even let you tell him what actually happened. He didn’t notice that you were sick and in pain. You scoffed. Wow, what a day. You didn’t want to dwell on what happened too much, so you went to pack your stuff for the hospital. You could ask your best friend Mirae to pack up the rest of your stuff later. She was super busy with work, so you couldn’t ask her to stay with you for the surgery and while you were in the hospital, but you also knew she would kill you if you didn’t tell her about this. So, you called her. She answered on the third ring with a groan. 

“Oh my god Y/N. Get some sleep!”

 Normally, you would have had a snarky comeback ready, but you didn’t have it in you. 

“Hey.” 

Immediately, Mirae was more alert.

 “What’s up? You okay?”

 And that’s when it all came rushing back to you. You choked on a sob.

 “No, no I’m not.” 

Mirae, perpetually ready with sarcastic comebacks, could only say, 

“Oh honey, I’ll be there in ten minutes. Do you want to stay on the call with me?” 

You managed to get out a muffled no, telling her to focus on her driving and to be safe, opting instead to just let yourself cry for a while. You didn’t even realise when Mirae got there until she slowly hugged you and pulled you up from the floor.

Mirae patiently waited until you finished crying and calmed down before asking you what happened. She also waited patiently until you were done and didn’t even say anything. She just hugged you and helped you relax. When she finally spoke, she said,

 “Listen, Y/N. I’m always going to be here for you. No matter how busy I am with work. I can’t believe you weren’t planning on telling me about the surgery. I’m going to cancel my flight to Japan right now and then we can go to the hospital.” 

Oh no. You couldn’t make Mirae miss out on the huge project she so painstakingly planned over three months. Taking a deep breath, you shook your head. 

“No, Mirae. You have to go. Your flight is only in the night. My surgery is in the morning. You can wait for that and make sure I’m okay and still make it in time.”

 Mirae eyes lit up, because the project meant a lot to her, but she still sounded a little unsure. 

“Y/N, but what about moving all your stuff out of here? And staying with you in the hospital?” 

 You shook your head.

 “You’ll only be gone for twenty-hour hours. I’ll be in the hospital for three days after my surgery. That’s plenty of time to get all of my stuff from here. And I’ll be fine staying in the hospital alone. It’s not a big deal. You’ll be there for the scariest part, the surgery.”

 “Y/N, are you sure?” 

Hiding just how scared you were, you nodded. 

“Yup. Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”

 Jiyong groaned as he slammed his car door shut. He was irritated by you, but he was angrier at himself for having said those things. He just hadn’t realised it yet. He walked into his sister’s house, not realising it was late. She jumped up from the couch, nearly spilling her hot chocolate.

 “Oh my god Jiyong. What are you doing here? Is everything okay?”

 Jiyong couldn’t stop pacing. 

“Everything’s fine. I just wanted to apologise for Y/N. I don’t know what got into her. I’m so sorry she ditched you.”

 Dami looked very confused. 

“What’re you talking about?”

 Jiyong couldn’t help the eye roll he let out. 

“You told me on the phone earlier today that she left halfway through lunch.”

 Dami groaned.

 “You cut the call before I could finish talking, didn’t you? Jiyong, she didn’t ditch me. She apologised so many times for having to leave. And I didn’t call you because I was mad. I called because it looked like she left because she wasn’t feeling well, and I think I heard her ask the taxi driver to take her to the hospital. I called because I was worried about her. It looked pretty bad. She was so pale and tired.” 

Jiyong froze for a minute, slowly trying to process everything Dami just told him. He suddenly looked up, eyes widening. 

“Fuck.” 

“What have you done?”

 But Jiyong left before she could complete that sentence. Jiyong was so frustrated. Why was he so mean? Why did he have to do that? Were you okay? He didn’t remember what he said. He just knew that he hurt you. 

“Fuck Jiyong. What did you say to her?”

He got back to your apartment at around 5 am the next morning. It was a really long drive. And he walked in, heart sinking when he didn’t see you on the couch. Usually, when the two of you fought, both of you would wait for the other to calm down and talk things out on that very couch. Well, he had fucked up very, very badly. Jiyong nervously wrung his hands as he walked closer to the bedroom. “

Y/N, love, I’m sorry. I don’t know what I said and why I said it. I’m so sorry for taking everything out on you. I heard you aren’t feeling well. What’s wrong, love?” 

There was no response from you. The panic in him rising, he opened the door to your shared bedroom and when he saw you weren’t there, he felt his heart stop for a minute.

After his brain started working again, he rushed to check whether you had taken your things with you. You couldn’t leave him. 

“Please, god, let her things be there” 

was the only thing he could mutter to himself over and over again as he checked your closet. What he found just confused him further. Most of your stuff was there, but your favourite hoodie, that you wore nearly every day, was gone. he was just about to try calling you for the millionth time when he heard the front door open. He rushed out, hoping you were back, but he only saw Mirae walking in. His heart sank again, but he knew she would know where you were.

 “Mirae, where is she?” 

Mirae gave him a sympathetic smile before saying, 

“I’m not telling you.”

“What?! Mirae please.”

“No.”

“Then why are you here?”

She shot him a pitying look.

“I’m here to start packing up her stuff.”

Jiyong just fell to the floor, in shock.

“A-are you saying she’s leaving me?”

“Yes.”

“Mirae, no. Please just tell me where she is. I need to talk to her. I need to apologise. We can fix this.”

Mirae sighed before turning to face Jiyong.

“Look. I’m mad at you for the way you treated her, but I told her that I think she should talk to you first. That she shouldn’t just leave. That if nothing else, she needs closure. But she refused. And she told me she doesn’t want you knowing anything about where she is. So, while I don’t think she’s doing the right thing, as her friend, I will do everything she wants me to. I’m sorry.”

Jiyong didn’t get up from the floor. He couldn’t. he couldn’t stop thinking about losing the relationship that finally felt right. Mirae started packing and left, but he was still there, on the floor, head in his hands.

 2 months later

Jiyong was in the supermarket. It was 2 am, and he desperately wanted those snacks he tried a while ago. At least, that’s what he came there for. Somehow, he found himself in the wine aisle.

 “Ah, should I get one more? “Fuck it, let’s buy it. Just another night of having sad grocery store wine and falling asleep on the couch crying.”

 He was about to reach out to pick the wine bottle when he felt someone else also reach for it. He jumped back, apologising immediately. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realise- Y/N?”

 You froze like that, but then quickly pulled your arm back down. In your cropped hoodie, he would have been able to see the scar from your surgery if you waited too long. You were too late though. His eyes were wide and his voice was serious when he said, 

“Y/N, what was that?”

 You looked away, refusing to answer. His voice rang a little louder. 

“Y/N, please. What was that? Did you get surgery?”

 You sighed, not wanting to talk to him. You managed to cut him out of your life, but you weren’t over him. In fact, you were very much in love with him and wanted a bottle of wine to get drunk and rant your woes out to Mirae. You didn’t want to talk to him and spiral again. He reached for your hand, only for you to back away. Jiyong’s eyes were hurt when you looked up. You gave in. 

“Fine. I guess I owe you that. We can go back to your place for a bit.”

 He winced when you said that. His voice was obviously pained when he said, 

“Our place Y/N. That’s home.” 

You missed him too. You didn’t want to do this either, but what you had wasn’t a good relationship. You forced yourself to sigh and look bored. 

“Jiyong, it’s been two months since I left. We’re done.”

 His face fell and he could only whisper, 

“Y/N, please don’t just write us off yet.” 

You remained silent. You didn’t have it in you to lie and tell those trusting eyes that you didn’t love him when you clearly did.

The car ride back was silent. Jiyong was driving and you were staring out of the window, thinking about how you were going to manage to pull this off. As soon as Jiyong shut the door behind you, you were about to turn around and say, 

“Listen, Jiyong, I can’t do this. We can’t be together.” 

But you never got around to that, because Jiyong’s hand gently brushed against your hip, feeling for your scar. 

“Did it hurt?”

 You gasped lightly when you felt his hands on you after so long. Only Jiyong could make you feel that way. Although you wanted to let your knees cave and let him hold you, you didn’t. You tried to stay strong. You reached around to grab his hand, but you couldn’t throw his hands off you. You didn’t have it in you. All you could manage was a pained whisper.

 “Jiyong, please don’t.” 

Jiyong’s thumb lightly brushed over your scar again before turning you around to face him, forcing you to look into his eyes. 

“I’m sorry, love. I ‘m sorry I wasn’t there for you throughout all of this. I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you. I’m sorry I took out my frustrations on you.” 

You couldn’t help the whimper that escaped you then. That was all you wanted during the surgery. You were scared and you just wanted your boyfriend there. 

“I know you’re hurt. I know I said some horrible things. But can we please try talking about this? I can’t lose you.” 

You took a deep breath and tried to gather your thoughts. 

“Jiyong, I can’t do this again. You made it very clear that you didn’t think I was as important as your family. Which is fine. It really is. But I can’t be in a relationship like that, because if things are already like this, the family I start with you will also never be as important to you.” 

Jiyong looked taken aback. 

“Y/N, what did I say that would make you think that? Oh, I’m so sorry. That’s not what I meant. At all. I want a family with you. And you are important to me. You’re the most important person to me.” 

You couldn’t help the small stray tear the slipped out when you said,

 “That’s not what you said then Jiyong.”

 He held your hand, trying to look into your eyes. 

“Y/N, love, I know this is going to sound bad, but I don’t remember what I said to you that night.” 

You laughed. A biting, hurt laughter. 

“You said all those horrible things and you don’t even remember them? Wow, guess that makes it clear how much I mean to you then.”

 He winced, but persevered.

 “Y/N, that’s not what it is and you know it. You know I love you. And I really am sorry I hurt you. I hate myself for that. But you know the reason I don’t remember anything is because I didn’t mean a word of it. You know I remember things that I mean. I was being an asshole, not listening to everything that happened and trying to pick a fight with you. But can you please tell me what I said? I want to know so that I can apologise properly.”

The two of you sat on the couch in silence for a while, you sipping on the cup of tea he made you while he waited nervously. You finally started.

 “You told me I crossed a line when I ditched your sister.”

 His eyes widened.

 “And I was hurt, so I asked you whether there is a line I can’t cross, and you said that they’re family. I asked you whether I wasn’t family and you never responded. You just left for your sister’s place.” 

Jiyong looked shocked beyond measure. 

“Love, I’m so sorry. I promise I didn’t mean any of it. You’re my number one priority and I want a family with you too.”

 His voice turned small. 

“I wanted to propose, but I didn’t because I didn’t think you wanted to get married and I didn’t want to put any pressure on you.” 

You sighed, looking at him for the first time, and continued. 

“I ditched her because the pain got too much for me and I had to go to the hospital. They told me I had to get an appendectomy done the very next day. I was terrified. I wanted nothing more than your unconditional love and support, but you left me alone. Mirae was there for me, and I know she always will be, but where were you when I needed you? You never let me tell you what happened. You never listened. Jiyong. Why shouldn’t I break up with you?” 

You wanted to hear his reason, whether he’d be able to find one, because deep down, you wanted him to. Jiyong moved a little closer to you. 

“Well Y/N, for starters, we both still love each other. I never stopped caring about you. And I was not there for you when you needed me, and believe me, I regret it. But it wasn’t because I didn’t care. It was because I didn’t know. My fault again, but I want you to know that I care. I will change. I will be more careful about the things I say, and I will definitely never snap at you for no reason again. But I know I love you and I want you to be my home. I want us to start a family together. I know you used to want that. And I think it’s tough to find love like that in the world. So, please. Let’s give us another shot.” 

You looked into his eyes and you knew he was being earnest. You still hadn’t forgiven him completely but those small glitches could be worked out in a while. You gave him a very light smile before saying, 

“Well, marriage and family is a bit much for now, but let’s try and work this out and see where we go, hmm?” 

And before you could put your cup of now cold tea down, Jiyong roughly pulled you onto him, kissing you deeply as though starved. Your tea had spilt all over the two of you and Jiyong ended up pushing a book off the couch by accident, but that didn’t matter. All that mattered was the smile on both your faces as you wrapped your arms around him and kissed him back, letting him sink back into the couch.

[purefrostbyte]

Protecting You

Dabi and Hawks

Rating: Angst

Might do a part two

 Protecting You

  Dabi let a puff of smoke escape his lips as he stomped out his cigarette. He had been told to scout for recruits, his normal chore that he still had even though Shigaraki berated him about how many bodies he left by the end of the night. He had scoped out his normal places, dark alleyways and abandoned buildings known for being a hangout spot for delinquents and criminals. That was until you stepped in his way. You hadn’t noticed his presence, and if you had you sure as hell didn’t act like it. Dabi felt his mouth dry, why of all nights did you have to out tonight. Your h/c locks bounced as you walked in front of him, something seemed to plague your mind.

Your distraction was a fatal mistake, because you walked right into a less than pleasant looking group of older men. Who the minute they laid eyes on you were drooling at the mouth. “Hey pretty thing,” one whistled as you attempted to walk away. Dabi watched silently as one of them grabbed you and pulled you into the middle of their circle, causing him to ball his fists to stop the fire that threatened to blast its way through the alleyway. Dabi hadn’t heard what you said, but the men didn’t seem to appreciate it and now they were handling you with a lot more force.

Dabi was about to step in, roast the fuckers and then leave when vermillion feathers shot out from the sky. Dabi concealed himself in the shadows as Hawks scared the men away and landed next to you. “What’s a sweet little thing like you doing out tonight?” his voice held a smugness that Dabi so desperately wanted to punch out of him. “Call me sweet and I’ll bite you fucking tongue off Birdy,” you snapped and Dabi couldn’t stop the small fond smile that graced his face, still got your usual spunk and charm.

Hawks chuckled, “What’s got you so bitter tonight Y/n?” Dabi remember the fact you two were friends, and if it weren’t for you they probably wouldn’t have met back then. “I’m just really not in the mood for crap tonight Kei,” you sighed and looked at the stars, “What made you come find me anyway. You don’t normal patrol this side, and don’t give me the passing through the neighborhood crap.” Hawks lifted his hands in defense, “Alright you got me,” he dropped his hands, face twisting into a serious expression. “I need you to be careful, don’t go through dark alleys at night and don’t stay out to late.” You raised an eyebrow, “And why, oh why? Would I listen to you Chicken stick?”

Hawks let out a frustrated sigh, “Why are you so damn stubborn Y/n? Why can’t you just listen for once? If Touya had asked-“ “Touya has nothing to do with this!” You snap and Hawks takes a step back at your aggressive tone. “Y/n,” Hawks sighed, but you didn’t let him finish his sentence. “If I listen so much to Touya why don’t you bring him here and make him demand me huh?” Dabi and Hawks’ head both shot up at this accusation. Hawks throat was dry and you could hear the panic over take him. “What?”

You choke down a bitter laugh, “Is Rumi the only real fucking friend I have?” you sneered at Hawks, “She told me everything. Everything Keigo. He’s alive, he’s fucking alive and you and fucking Endeavor never said a thing to me!” Hot tears rolled down your cheeks and Hawks knew he fucked up. “Y/n,” he started, “I didn’t tell you because I knew you would go after him. He’s not the same as before. Y/n he’s dangerous now.” Hawks attempted to reason with you, but you were too far gone in your anger to care for logic. “Dangerous? DANGEROUS?! Hate to fucking break it to you Keigo but we are ALL fucking dangerous.”

Hawks sighed, “Y/n, please I’m begging you, don’t go after him. I-We- Y/n none of us want to lose you.” You scoff at him, “You say that like he’ll kill me.” Hawks growled in anger, you stubbornness becoming too much for him to handle right now. “He fucking could Y/n!” You stiffened, you didn’t want to believe it, and it hurt to know deep down that Keigo was telling the truth. “Y/n he isn’t Touya anymore ok! And I’m not about to watch you wreck yourself believing in him, when all he will do is hurt you!” At this point Hawks was full on yelling at you, something that he never liked doing due to your childhood, but right now he needed you to hear reason even if it meant he would end up breaking you a little bit.

You stare at the ground intensely, not wanting to look at Hawks. Tears made puddles on the floor and it hurt Keigo to see you like this. “Y/n-“ “I think its best if you go.” He was taken back by your request, he didn’t know what to do or say, “Y/n listen I’m sorry for yelling-“ You turned away from him and started walking off and it broke Keigo to watch. “Y/n at least let me walk you home!”

You didn’t listen, walking with your head down and disappearing around a corner. Hawks sighed before leaving, knowing that you didn’t want to see him in the state you were in. Dabi slipped out of his dark corner as Hawks flew away and then set off following you. Now he knows why you had been so distracted earlier.

He watched you from afar, keeping distance as to not alert you but close enough that he could see your body shake with each sob you let pass your lips. It broke his heart to watch you, knowing he couldn’t comfort you because it would just end in a mess. Hawks was right, he was dangerous now and he wasn’t prepared to bring that danger to you. He’d rather die.

He watched silently as you slumped into your apartment building, waiting patiently to see which apartment you owned. When he saw lights flicker to life and you appear by the window to stare at the sky, he knew you were safe and bonus he also now knew where you lived. He was about to turn away, give up recruiting for the night and turn in. Life had different plans it seemed.

He was thrown into the side wall of the alleyway under your window, a vermillion feather to his throat. Golden eyes, filled to brim with anger and something that could only be described as possessiveness, stared back at Dabi. “Leave. Her. Alone.” Hawks growled, feather sharped and pressed hard to Dabi’s throat. Dabi growls, he never liked how possessive Hawks got over you and the two had always been at each other’s throats about it. “Give me a good reason to Bird Brains,” Dabi challenged and Hawks only grew angrier, “Don’t you see how much you have destroyed her already? Was leaving and faking you death not enough pain for her that you’re just gonna waltz back into her life as if you’ve done nothing wrong?”

Every fiber in Dabi’s body was on fire with anger and he threw a strong right hook against Hawk’s jaw. “You little shit,” Dabi seethed as the two started wrestling and throwing punches and kicks at each other. “You don’t think I don’t know that? That it doesn’t eat me alive every fucking day? I made my choice and I have to live with the consequences, yeah I get it. I know I fucked her up and it kills me every fucking day knowing it!”

The two were battered and bruised, still fighting and yelling at each other, they didn’t notice you come down from the fire escape by your window. You watched their stupid fight, listened to the anger and sorrow both had and you were done listening to it. “Enough!” You said firmly, catching their attention and causing the both to pale. “You two are gonna get yourselves caught like this. Are you two still that fucking dumb that you share one whole brain cell between you?” The two slouched and looked at the ground, feeling like they were being scolded like a child would. You let out a tired sigh before turning back to the fire escape ladder and beginning you ascend. The two were still sat on the ground muttering before hearing you call, “Get your asses inside now, before I drag you by the ears.” The two silently followed your command and sis as they were told, climbing up into your apartment.

First time I’m writing for Tumblr in awhile, kinda feels nice. If you have any requests I’m more than happy to hear them. Been bored and wanting to write but having no inspiration kinda stops that. Leave a request in the comments or dm me, really don’t mind.

xoxo

[repulsivepangolin7]

Can you do an imagine where you am Luca get into a fight about if you’re just hooking up or if you’re actually dating and in the end they do end up dating

Alright, I probably should have made some sort of disclaimer that I generally don’t write CharacterXReader fics. Because I don’t feel comfortable in that writing style, and whatever I write will feel like crap to me… Being kinda new to Tumblr, I’m not even sure if I’ve grasped what an ‘imagine’  really is…That being said, I’ll give it the good ol’ college try…

Word count: 1 082

 You were about willing to swear that the butterflies fluttering around inside you had grown claws at the edge of their wings. You had known who would be on the other side of the door the instant the doorbell rang. After all, the two of you had planned on spending the evening together.

You opened the door, beaming up at the possibly most handsome man you knew of. But the ecstatic feeling of seeing him was quickly swapped out for worry and confusion. The first thing you noticed was how drained he appeared, then a short second later you saw the sling which supported his right arm.

“It’s nothing…” he sighed after reading your expression. “My arm just needs a little R&R…”

“What happened?”

He shook his head, “Nothing that won’t be a lot better in a few short weeks.”

“Alright, but I need to know what happened.” You put your hands on your hips, almost scowling up at him, “Do I have to text Chris to get the answer?”

He grimaced slightly at the thought, then shook his head. “No… No, you don’t need to do that. I got stabbed on Tuesday. -Just a little.”

“You mean to say you got stabbed, and you didn’t tell me?” If he hadn’t looked like a kicked puppy already, you might have slapped him, “And on Tuesday no less! You’ve had three whole days to shoot me a message at least!”

“I’m sorry, -I didn’t know I had to…”

You almost growled and exhaled slowly through pressed lips in an attempt to keep your cool, “I’m stupid. I’ve probably read this thing all wrong, haven’t I?”

“Read what wrong?”

“The evenings we’ve spent with each other. The coffees we’ve met up to grab for no particular reason… You showing up with fresh donuts after some of my nightshifts.” You rattled off.

He nodded slightly.

“I didn’t really think we were dating or anything, but…” you shrugged, “But I figured that was the way it was going. That given some more time, one of us would make the first real move and we’d end up a couple… But of course I’m that idiot who doesn’t understand when a guy just wants to keep it platonic. Because if there was a relationship in the endgame, then… You would’ve called, right? OH MY GOD, I’m stupid…”

Tears were welling up in your eyes, but you didn’t want to cry in front of him. You didn’t want to give him that satisfaction. Too many guys had played you like that before.

“Hey, it’s not like tha-”

“Then what the heck is it then?”

“If you would just le-”

“Just let you what? Toy with my heart?” You knew that was a low blow, but you were nearing Krakatoa level anger and frustration.

“Just let me…”

“Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.” This time he didn’t stop explaining himself, but you didn’t want to pay attention. To be honest, it would be a lot easier if he just left already.

“-like that. I swear.” You sensed him let out a frustrated sigh, before he muttered “Alright then…”

The next thing you knew was his lips pressed against yours, and his left arm was wrapped around your waist, pressing you to him. It was like all the tension in your body up and disappeared. You didn’t spend too long before indulged in the kiss.

A few seconds later you broke apart. He still had his hand on the small of your back, but your faces had enough distance between them for him to comfortably look down at you.

With a slightly coy smile he shrugged one shoulder, “How’s that for a first move?”

You would have complemented him and said it was one hell of a move, if you could only figure out how to form words. And the world would have been a lot easier if your vision wasn’t blurred by tears which was definitely streaming down your cheeks by now.

“Look, you’re not the stupid one. You read everything right.” His left thumb rubbed over where his hand rested, “I’m the stupid one. I should have called. I just didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want to scare you…”

You ended up nodding awkwardly before resting your head against his chest, but you were quick to jump back when he hissed.

“I’m sorry!”

He shook his head with a soft smile, “Don’t worry about it. It’s not that bad.”

“You’re wearing a sling. And you look like you’ve donated like three times more blood than you’re supposed to!” you sighed, “Just… Don’t lie…”

“Alright.” He nodded, “It hurts right now, but it’s going to be fine. And a little bit of pain isn’t really worth worrying about in my line of work… It’s fine.”

You studied his expression for a little while, before you nodded. “Okay, but you’re getting cupcakes as comfort-food tonight.”

He chortled, before a grimace took over his features.

“-Don’t laugh, I guess?” you offered up.

He nodded, trying to kill off the grimace, “Yeah, laughing is off limits for a week or two.”

“Come on in…” you suggested, “Get comfy on the couch, pick something we should watch tonight. I’ll fix us some cupcakes.”

He nodded, and you were about to let go of each other before you got a better idea.

“Wait. One more kiss.”

His face broke into that 1000Watt grin you loved so much, before he leaned down to meet your lips again.

The second kiss was even better than the first one. There was already a tinge of familiarity in it.

When he stood back up to his full height, he smiled. “I’m so sorry I didn’t make a move earlier…”

“Forget it. It was perfect.”

He smirked.

“We definitely confirmed you had a bit of that temper you’ve been claiming to have…” he teased.

You felt your cheeks turn warm, and nodded. “Sorry about that.”

“No. Now I know you’re cute even when you’re angry.” He winked, “Good information to have for the future.”

You laughed, “Plan on making me angry often?”

“Nope, as seldom as possible.” He shrugged his left shoulder, “But … God information to have. Telling you the next time I get hurt won’t be as scary…”

You rolled your eyes a little, “Come on, let’s go inside.”

He nodded and followed you in.

“You know what?”

“What?” he shook his head.

“I like the word ‘future’.”

He grinned again, “Me too, especially when it’s with you.”

 There. That’s an honest attempt to answer that prompt. I hope it was at least somewhat satisfactory.

[lia-the-potato05]

I want tickles

Reader (Ler) x Taehyung (Lee)

Description: Taehyung wants to be tickled so badly. And happens to find you a good Ler for him.

Author: This was supposed to be posted yesterday but I was busy with other stuff yeh without further a do let's get on with this. Sorry if its not so written well, I didnt had a lot of motivation while writing this.

✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦  ✧

It was a normal day for Kim Taehyung who was chilling in the living room scrolling down tumblr where he secretly owns a tickle blog. He was in lee mood at the moment after a couples teases thrown at him by his followers

I need tickles. He pouted, staring at the ceiling.

"SAHAHAHAHAVEE MEHAHAHAHA!" All of a sudden he heard a familiar laugh coming from a certain room.

As curiosity took over him he stood up making his way to where the laughing sound was coming from. When he did, he saw Jungkook with his hands pinned above his head by Jimin and you scribbling your fingers on his armpits

"Y/N HAHAHAHA STOHOHOP!" Jungkook screamed in laughter

Taehyung felt his face burning red feeling awkward with the sight infront of him.

"Oh hey Taehyung" You stopped tickling Jungkook and looked at Taehyung who was standing by the door way

"W-what are you doing?" Taehyung asked

"Tickling Jungkook, his been a brat and needs to be punished" You said

"But I said sorry!" Jungkook whined

"Shush! You know that's not how it works, Jimin continue tickling his armpits I'm going for his tummy"

"With pleasure" Jimin grinned as he sat on Jungkook's arms, beginning to skitter his cute fingers all over his hallows

"NOHOHOHOHOHOHO TAEHUHUHUYUNNGG HEHEHELPPP" Taehyung awkwardly looked at Jungkook being wrecked right there right infront of him. Oh how much he envies the younger one

"Yah Taehyung why don't you help us, His feet are available" You suggested

"I-I'm fine guys...I'll just...uhmmm...get water, I'm thirsty. Bye!" With that Taehyung left the scene not wanting to witness more of it

He was at the kitchen drinking a glass of water. He placed the glass down and cupped his cheeks which were still burning from what happened earlier.

"Ah stop it Taehyung ah" He said to himself, lightly patting his cheeks

"Stop what Taehyung?" Taehyung turned around, startled to see you standing behind

"Y-Y/N hey...Didn't see you there" He let out a nervous laugh "Uhmm weren't you just punishing Jungkook or something?"

"Jimin got that covered, I left my phone outside and was gonna record them because they look so cute. But then I heard you talking to yourself just wanna check if your ok"

"Everything's fine, no need to worry about me" You narrowed your eyes at Taehyung not believing what his saying but decided to let it slide for now

"Ok then...I'll go get my phone now" After you left Taehyung alone in the Kitchen he let out a sigh of relief

He took out his phone and went to tumblr wanting to post a rant

I have this female friend I'm really close with. And as far as I know she is really a good ler. I've seen her wrecked my friends before and boy she wrecked them good. I wanted her to tickle me too but I doubt she knows my love for tickling. I want to tell her but I don't know how I need help😭

A few minutes after he posted that. It was flooded with his followers simply telling him to just ask you and not to be scared about it "Aish! But it's not that simple" He frowned.

For the whole day he couldn't help but recall the moment wherein you tickled the crap out of Jungkook, imaging himself being in Jungkook's place

•••

A week has passed since that incident. Right now Taehyung was in the middle of finding his phone because somehow he lost it "Aish where is it?" He checked his bed, his nightstand, his desk but its nowhere to be found. He is starting to panick as he ruffled his hair in frustration

"Looking for this?" Taehyung turned to your direction, seeing you leaning on the doorway waving his phone in front of him

"Yes! Thanks Y/N!" Taehyung smiled in relief as he was approaching you to get his phone back

"Wait" You hid his phone behind your back "You know your phone has very interesting information" Taehyung looked at you in confusion

"How interesting of you to have a tumblr account" Taehyung's eyes widened

"Give me back my phone!" Taehyung tried to reach your phone behind your back but you ran to his bed

"You know your password isn't hard to guess, Your birthday really?" Taehyung's face blushed in embarrassment

"I said give me back my phone!" Taehyung ran to you and you were able to dodge him

"You know that one post of yours has piqued my interest, I wonder who that female friend of yours you wanted to be tickled by so badly" You teased the flustered male as he tried getting his phone back from you

"Y/N! Stop that! Just give me my phone!" Your little game of tag has continued on until Taehyung has you pinned on his bed, successfully getting his phone back from you

"You know Taehyung, I don't often assume too much but it felt like that femal friend your referring to is Me" You smirked at Taehyung who couldn't stop blushing

Taehyung tried opening his mouth trying to find something to say to escape from this embarrassing situation but what you said is true afterall.

"So I'm right aren't I?" You were having so much fun teasing Taehyung. You then decided why not give him what he wants?. You started jabbing your fingers into his sides making him collapsed right next to him. You took this chance and sat on his stomach "Oh Taehyung we are gonna have so much fun"

You started skittering your finger nails around his soft tummy. "Y/N Hahahaahahahahahahaha" His cute giggles escaping his pretty lips

"You like that Tae? Hmm? you seem to enjoy it so much"

"S-stohohohohohop" Taehyung grabbed your wrist trying to push them away

"You said you wanted this, don't you dare waste such good opportunity" You grabbed both Taehyung's wrist pinning them above his head. It was good he decided not to fight against it.

You suddenly got an idea in your head "Hey Tae I got a challenge for you and I don't take no as an answer" Taehyung looked at you and gulped, without bothering to let him reply you continued on "I want you to keep your arms up and you have to keep them up for at least 5 minutes if not I'm gonna add another 5 minutes understand?" Taehyung slowly nodded his head "Good"

You slipped your hands inside his shirt and wiggled your fingers on his armpits. "ehehehehehehehehe" Taehyung giggled as bit his lip trying his very best to keep his arms up "Y/N hahahahahahahaha"

"Yes Tae laugh for me, your doing good" You started wiggling your fingers up and down his armpits and into his hallows

"Ihihihihihihitt tihihihihickless sohohohohoho muhuhuhucchhh" His eyes now were tightly shut and now his head waz shaking side to side Cute you thought.

It has been 2 minutes so you decide to take this up a notch and go for his weak spot which you remembered he mentioned in one of his posts. You then went and attack his hipbone using your thumbs drilling into the spot. Successfully you got Taehyung to put his hands down. Realising what he did he widened his eyes as you smirked at him "Uh oh taehyung has put his arms down and it hasn't been 5 minutes you know what that means?" You went and get a thin rope and tied his hands to the head of the bed "Oh how much fun I'm gonna have with you"

You attacked his hips once again wiggling your fingers on that area.

"Y/N! NOHOHOHOHOHOHO!" Taehyung shrieked kicking his legs as he was left with no choice but to endure the ticklish sensation

"Y/N Yes~" You teased, tickling his hips for a total of 8 minutes now. After that you were kind enough to give Taehyung a break

"Did you enjoy it tae bear?" You asked stroking his soft hair

"I sure did" Taehyung smiled still panting from earlier.

"You know, there's nothing wrong approaching me with this kind of topic I am your friend after all and I'd love to have a daily tickle session with you"

"Yeah I know, thanks"

"No problem" You patted his head "But I'm not ending the session without one thing" You grinned

"W-what is it?" Taehyung curiously asked

"This!" You blew a raspberry on his soft tummy earning girly like squeals from him. You chuckled at the cute reaction and blew a few more raspberries before you finally finished. You untied Taehyung's wrists and ruffled his hair

"You're so cute tae bear"

[akp-1327]

dear diary // chapter eight

Hellooo! I’m alive, I swear! Just wanted to thank y’all for all the support and patience. I know I fell out of the loop with updates, though I absolutely love that you all like this series and are sticking around for it! It seriously makes my day to receive such kind feedback! Anyway, enough from me. Here’s the next chapter! <3

As always, find the series masterlist here (Tumblr) or here (AO3) to catch up! :)

Pairings: Ajay Bhandari x f!MC (Charlotte Parker), Skye Crandall x f!OC (Leila Maciel)

Word Count: 5.3k

(*) Warnings: mentions of divorce and minor injuries (nothing graphic)

(A cynical Ajay is always a great time, right? ;)

Holy crap.

It was wild being back here.

Did I feel like an alien right when I walked through the door? Absolutely. The whole house just felt different. It lost the usual homey feeling and, instead, felt foreign. The squeak of the wooden steps beneath my feet didn’t even sound the same as it used to.

Mohit and I started to make our way upstairs after Charlotte retreated to the bathroom, the door closing softly behind her. A rare silence fell between us and, finally, I was able--

"Oh my god, Ajay. You brought a girl over. A girl who isn’t your girlfriend?" Mohit teased, poking my arm as we walked down a short hallway. 

So much for silence. Oh, and when Mo said that? I blushed. Profusely. Still, I had to put on a neutral face and hope that my sudden sheepishness didn’t shine through.

"Since when are you an expert on romance?" I quipped, rolling my eyes before I shot him a teasing look. "Do you have something to tell me, Mo? Maybe something about a future sibling-in-law?"

Mohit instantly reeled back in disgust. "Eww! No!"

God, I missed this kid. I ruffled his hair and looked around at the room we wound up in. It had been my dad’s old office, but since the divorce, it just sat there useless (well, so I thought?). All of his stuff stayed because he had to downsize for that stupid little Manhattan apartment, so I guess Mohit took it over. It was littered with soda cans and empty candy wrappers, but smelt like the clean linen Febreeze that Amma spritzed around the house on an everyday basis.

It's been too, too long since I’ve been here. I knew I should’ve been here the past few summers.

I shook the recurring thoughts away and turned back to my brother, who seemingly grew a whole two feet since I last saw him. Crazy.

"It's okay to have a crush, Mo. There's no sense in hiding it. You know I'll find out eventually."

(I guess I could say the same to myself.)

Dismissing the subject entirely with a shake of his head, Mohit let out a dramatic sigh. "What're we doing up here, again? Hiding from Amma and Jim?"

That was such a villainous way to put it. Obviously, though, he was right. I didn't want to see Jim all lovey-dovey with Amma. Now that was gross.

"Just Jim," I responded, "which is why you will go down and greet him first when the time comes. I need to talk to Charlotte before I say hello."

Mohit wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “Oh, I I bet. Through some smooooches--”

I mercilessly smacked him upside the head...but, out of some decency, it wasn’t as hard as I wanted it to be.

"Oh dear god, Mo. We aren't going to do anything but talk."

"Hmm," Mohit hummed, still sounding suspicious, "if you say so..."

Just then, before I could respond, Charlotte appeared at the doorway with her arms folded. "Hey. I'm not interrupting any guy talk, am I?"

Mohit laughed, but I chose to ignore it. 

"No, you're not interrupting anything. Come on in." I smiled. I hoped my voice sounded normal because I couldn’t seem to get her out of my head. Thanks, Mohit.

Oh my god...so much for keeping my distance from her...

She walked in and instantly made herself at home on the couch. I mindlessly followed and sat on the opposite side while Mohit (disappointingly) squished himself in the middle with a proud grin.

"Now what?" Charlotte asked, her eyes flitting over to mine. They were such a beautiful blue that reminded me of the ocean. Though, before I could drown myself in the feeling and become overwhelmed, I looked at Mohit's ponder instead.

"It won't take much time for Amma to tell Jim that Ajay's here, so I don’t think we’ll have time to do much." Mohit shrugged. "Well, depending how long you guys stay."

I looked back up to Charlotte, willing myself to hold her gaze this time around before her eyes met mine again. My stomach tied in on itself with just a glance, and that was just due to her eyes. When she smiled, my heart started to race. Pound, even. It was so loud in my ears that I could barely hear her response.

"That’s okay. What about that comic collection you were talking about earlier?" Charlotte grinned, sending me a discreet wink that left me stumbling over my thoughts even further.

"Yeah! You absolutely need to see--" Mohit rambled before I clamped a hand over his mouth. He was not going to interrupt this moment for me with another one of his obsessions. Her eyes were still on mine, her gaze soft. It was such a perfect moment. 

"Let's do it." I said, not looking away from her. In result, I watched her face redden a bit and her smile brighten, if that was even possible.

As much as I loathed Mohit’s (extremely boring and stereotypical) comics, I guess I could tolerate them for a little while. So long as Jim doesn’t know I’m here, we were alright.

*

*

Mohit finished up explaining his entire suitcase of comics before I heard a faint squeak from the stairs. I decided to lean against the threshold of Mo’s room while he and Charlotte geeked out over his Batman collection, but I immediately regretted the choice when I felt a small hand on my shoulder.

“Ajay, sweetie,” Amma whispered, “I told Jim that you’re here.”

My entire frame tensed at his name, but I held in my scowl. Instead, I let out a heavy sigh that caught both Mohit and Charlotte’s attention.

“He’ll be downstairs waiting when you three are ready. He’s watching a game of cricket.” Amma smiled before making her way back downstairs. 

“I’m missing it! Jim, you liar!” Mohit shouted before sprinting out of the room and thundering down the stairs. You could hear a faint thump and a brief yelp at the bottom.

For moments after that, it was silent in Mo’s room, though my mind raced with all of the possibilities. All of the worries. All of the fears.

Admittedly, I’ve had these looming fears for years, but they’d gone dormant the more time I spent away from home. I’ve always thought that I was the one who caused all of this turmoil within my family because of my college expenses - which, to say, is a lot of green - and that I could’ve avoided it entirely. Amma would never say that I’d caused them immense debt to my face, and neither would Dad. 

But, to be real, they didn’t have to.

I can distinctly remember the night before they broke the news. It was during the last few weeks of high school and I had been doing math homework angrily. I was stressed and because math was a spawn from the deepest depths of hell, it wasn’t something I wanted to spend my time on. My pencil bolted across the paper, sometimes squeaking with how hard I’d been writing. After a while, though, I realized the squeaks were turning into coherent words.

Yelling, coming from the kitchen downstairs.

It was maddening to hear, so I tried to tune it out as usual, but then I heard the three familiar words come up: “the college money”.

I dangerously decided to bring it up at breakfast the next morning and apologize; it felt like the only thing I could do. Amma swooped in to shoo away the apology seconds after it tumbled out of my mouth...while Dad only sat there. She was the one who encouraged me while my dad sat on the sidelines, like always. 

That’s really when I realized that my mom was tired of it. Tired of being the only one to give a damn about anything happening in our lives. So she put an end to her problem and filed for divorce. They told me only a few minutes after I’d brought up their fight.

To this day, I feel like I was the hearth. The origins of it all, only because of my desperation for success. To become someone who left a small stamp on this chaotic world.

“Ajay?” Charlotte asked from across the room, snapping me from my thoughts. Her eyes were slanted with concern, and the emotion only grew when I didn’t respond.

With Charlotte around, I felt like I could be my own person. Not be the person who’s parents divorced because of him and not the snarky director. I could be myself with her without having to feel any guilt or shame. This is why I wanted to keep her close; she was the only person who understood what it felt like to be judged. To be an outsider. To be distinctly different from everyone else. 

She was starting to seem like my other half, and as days passed, I noticed that the feeling was only growing stronger. That scared me to death, especially if she decided to do the show. Then I’d really have to call this off and protect myself. 

I’m not going to put myself through hell again.

“Ajay,” Charlotte shouted, her eyes now amused. I cleared my throat and shook my head to clear the thoughts away. “You okay?” 

With a quick nod and an extremely unconvincing smile, I gestured for her to follow me out the door.

“Just fine, um,” I said, my racing thoughts never slowing. Forming coherent sentences with a jumbled-up brain never had a good outcome, so I let my thoughts organize themselves for a moment before responding. “Let’s go downstairs before Amma nags us again.”

She nodded and hesitantly followed me out of the room. I tried to relax with a deep breath, but that just felt like suffocation. So I did not do that again in fear that I’d pass out or embarrass myself even more.

Once we got downstairs, I felt a rush of panic course through my veins.  Charlotte noticed my missing presence and stopped.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” She asked softly, worry flooding her eyes as she turned to me. I searched them for the longest second of my life, and finally, let myself take an actual deep breath.

“Yeah, sorry.” I sighed, shaking my head, “I just really don’t want to do this. It’s...”

Charlotte lit up with a small smile for a moment before it disappeared. “You don’t have to explain. I get it.” Then, without any semblance of warning, she quickly wrapped her arms around me and held me in a tight embrace.

This felt nice. My arms found their way around her small frame after a few seconds, trying to reciprocate the vice-like grip she had around me. I felt her head rest against my shoulder, and for a moment, this felt...natural. It was the same feeling as holding her hand for the first time back at the party.

“You’ll be alright. Just remember to breathe and you should make it through without a scratch,” Charlotte smiled before pulling away slowly, “but you’re making them wait, old man. C’mon.”

I missed her warmth, and I think it showed. She laughed, stepping into my space again. The sound put me at ease, so much so that I lost control of myself and glanced down at her lips. They were a velvety pink, layered in a thin veil of lip balm. From this close, I could tell it was infused with peppermint.

God, I am a sucker for anything peppermint--

No, I thought to myself, you can’t do that. You shouldn’t hurt yourself more. She doesn’t feel the same!

With great strength, I stepped away entirely. Charlotte looked confused, so I gave her a relaxed smile to show that I was okay. It was weird to have someone other than Rory to help calm me down - it was alleviating to be able to confide in someone else.

“Right, because we’re missing a cricket game. I’m devastated!” I sighed, a slight humorous twinge in my tone. I could tell she picked it up when she giggled and slipped her hand into mine.

“You are such a dork...” Charlotte teased, shaking her head and squeezing my hand reassuringly. Every time she held my hand, my heart would stop. Of course this time wasn’t an exception, but in this moment, I squeezed back.

*

*

It’d been at least fifteen minutes since Charlotte and I silently slipped into the living room. We stood very close to the exit in case I had to make a mad dash to the car.

Jim was completely oblivious to our presence before Amma discreetly took the remote off the coffee table and paused the game of cricket. My heart dropped when he looked to my mom...then, following her gaze, looked right into my eyes.

All the feelings I’d pushed down years ago - disappointment, guilt, anger, confusion - started to emerge the longer our gazes were tied. However, this seemed to be a one way street of thought. He smiled at god-awful smile at me, the same one that probably lured my mom in. Disgusting.

“Well, if it isn’t the college boy,” Jim grinned, standing and making his way over to stand in front of me and holding his fist out, “how’s it going?”

Swallowing my pride (well, er, attitude), I gave Jim a tight-lipped smile, trying to hide my grimace as I forced my fist to bump his. It was really bad acting on my part, but I don’t think he had enough of a functioning brain cell to notice.

“It’s been...going okay, I guess.” I said, willing my teeth to not grit against each other; that’d make the entire situation worse. Amma’s eyes had already caught mine over his shoulder and she had shaken her head disapprovingly at my attitude. Jim, however, was completely oblivious to the action and turned his attention to Charlotte instead.

“You must be Charlotte,” Jim said, his usual warm smile brightening and his hand extending for her to shake. It made me want to hurl. “Shruti told me that you’re one of Ajay’s friends from NYU?”

Charlotte, thankfully, was her normal kind self as she shook his hand. “That’s me! Nice to meet you, Jim. Ajay’s said nothing but good things about you.”

She caught my eye and gave the slightest wink.

“Oh! Well, that’s nice to hear. Why don’t you guys come and sit? There’s plenty of couch space to go around...”

Amma gestured to the small loveseat-like sofa on the far side of the living room, and of course, gave me her all-too-familiar teasing eyes. She really was looking to embarrass me.

Before I had the chance to retaliate, Charlotte walked over and sat politely. She waved me over, and so with a sigh, I sat next to her with a now-familiar heat in my cheeks. It wasn’t the fact that I was sitting next to her that made me coy, but rather that I was in my childhood house with a man - who wasn’t my father - now cuddling my mother. It was weird and made me beyond uncomfortable, and then add in how the girl I liked was seated right next to me...I was just a mess.

“So, um, I heard that the two of you are getting married?” Charlotte piped up after a few moments of silence. My eyes met Mo’s across the room and I could immediately tell he was tuning out of the conversation. Honestly, the idea didn’t sound so bad.

“March seventh of next year!” Amma beamed, showing off her left hand. A small ring on her ring finger sparkled in the light, and I could just feel a tsunami of hurt crash right over me. I don’t care how long it’s been since the divorce. It still hurts as much as it did a few years ago.

“That’s exciting. How has the planning been going?” Charlotte asked, trying to keep the conversation light; her voice was soft, but it was serious. It was missing her usual preppy tone, which to say, was odd.

I heard Amma talking, but I decided to tune out of the conversation.

Of course I was happy for Amma. I was glad that she found her happiness and that she could find someone else. My problem, however, was what she settled for. Jim wasn’t anything interesting. A dentist that enjoyed the outdoors and European sports - so what? Amma has always been an adventurous and bold woman, so why’d she decide on someone so...bland? My dad was an adrenaline junkie that won her heart with a simple motorcycle ride into the sunset. 

How do you go from that...to Jim? In what world does that make sense?

In my opinion, no one likes the dentist and you’d have to be crazy to go hiking by a will of choice. Mother Nature was one hell of a force to mess with, and to put your life in her unpredictable hands willingly? You’d have to be danger levels of psycho.

Plus, it didn’t help that Amma and Jim got together only a month after the divorce. It was like the crappy cake holding the crappy frosting and crappy toppings. 

I hated, and still do hate, their relationship with a burning passion.

After the thoughts and discussions of their wedding (more so the thought of my mom officially being his) the house felt stuffy. The walls looked like they were closing in on me. I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

I needed to get out. Fast.

Why didn’t I stay by the door...

“...and then the venue’s gardens. Oh, they are to die for! Just div--” Amma sighed wistfully before I cleared my throat, catching everyone’s attention.

“Um, sorry to cut this whole reunion short, but Charlotte and I have some stuff to do back at school.” I said, keeping any emotion out of my voice. Amma knew me too well; she’d be able to sniff out that lie like a bloodhound if I added any sort of emotional flair.

Charlotte’s eyes scanned mine for a brief second before she nodded. “We were gonna go shopping at a store outside the city to get some dorm stuff.”

I guess she really is good at improv. Huh. Well, in any case, the white lie worked.

“Oh! Alright. Don’t let us keep you. Traffic is terrible at this time of day,” Amma rambled, quickly standing and immediately going to the kitchen. The rustling of plastic and the closing of cabinets was all I heard before she came back into the living room. “Take some of these off of our hands!”

She handed us a Tupperware container filled with some of my favorites: Italian Pizzelle cookies. Amma always had them stocked in the house for some odd reason.

“Dammit, Amma.” I said, trying my hardest not to let my smile get too big. “You give me these every single time I visit!”

Her arms wrapped around me tightly, “I do. And I want that container back, so visit soon.” Amma’s eyes flicked over to where Charlotte was, laughing along with Mohit about what I could only presume to be comics, “Oh, and bring her, too.”

“Oh my god--” I groaned in exasperation, rolling my eyes when she lightly hit me from where her hand was on my shoulder.

“I can see that look in your eye, Ajay. Don’t even bother acting like you don’t like her, it’ll be a waste of your time.”

Sigh. She has a point. 

“Instead...maybe you could make a move?” Amma whispered, pulling away and slightly angling her head in Charlotte’s direction. “I can see the same look in her eyes, too.”

Reflexively, I looked over at Charlotte again and found her staring at me. When our eyes met, she hurriedly looked away while a faint rose tinted her cheeks, her hands coming up to tighten her ponytail in almost an embarrassed manner.

Adorable.

“Okay, go,” Amma sighed, “say goodbye to Jim, otherwise those cookies aren’t leaving this house.”

With a nod and an invisible eye roll, I strolled over to Jim and held out my hand. It wasn’t my favorite thing in the world, but it was a lot better than him smushing me against his chest in a bear hug. The thought alone gave me chills.

“It was nice seeing you today, sport,” Jim said, gripping my hand firmly and shaking it, “come over again soon. We miss having you around here, especially Mohit.”

“Uh, right. Nice seeing you too, Jim.”

No, no it was not.

Before I could even step away from Jim, Mohit barreled right into me.

“You need to come over more often,” Mohit whined, “next time I see you I should crash at your dorm!”

“No, no,” I immediately responded, still returning his embrace. “I’ll be over soon, Mo. I promise.”

With that, he let go and turned to give Charlotte a hug. “See you soon, Charlotte!”

Charlotte gave a giggle, her cheeks still recovering from her blush only a few moments before. She happily returned his hug.

“See you soon, Mohit. Behave, or the comics get it.” Charlotte said before they both broke out into another fit of giggles. Jeez, maybe introducing these two was a bad idea. Wait, correction; introducing these two was a bad idea.

Now that they’d bonded and actually get along...what am I going to do?

*

*

The ride back was quiet, save for a small periodic hum from Charlotte as she watched the scenery outside the passenger window. It was a comfortable silence, but I could tell she had something on her mind.

“You’re eerily quiet,” I said softly, keeping my eyes on the road, “what’s up?”

I knew I went too far, dammit! I’m such a--

“Well, Leila texted me earlier...” Charlotte sighed. From the corner of my eye, I watched her shrink back into her seat. “She apologized and mentioned that something’s up with Skye.”

“That only took a million years.” I said, trying to make her smile. Thankfully she took it as intended and laughed lightly.

“Tell me about it. Anyway. I didn’t want to tell you back at your mom’s house. You looked...tense. I didn’t want to trouble you further.”

Tense was one word for it, for sure. Also, why is she the sweetest?

“My mom’s boyfriend, er, fiancé has never been my favorite person. He tries too hard when he talks to me, makes me feel like I’m not really welcome at home anymore.” I said, careful to not reveal too much. She does have good advice, but she’s already going through so much turmoil herself...

“That’s terrible.” Charlotte frowned, readjusting herself to sit properly in her seat. I could tell she turned towards me as she did so. “He seems nice, but you obviously have more experience with him, so why is he so bad?”

Of course she’d want to know. She was curious in that way.

“He’s a dentist, likes boring sports, enjoys the outdoors...” I grumbled, my hand mindlessly tightening on the wheel, “he took my dad’s place, though he’s just so bland and boring. It irks me.”

“Wait, so you don’t like him because he’s boring? Out of all of the qualities in a person to hate, you chose boring?” Charlotte squeaked, her voice going up an octave out of pure curiosity and slight humor. “Would you rather her date a random, stuck-up billionaire from...like...Hollywood? With a name like Blaze or Lazer, maybe even Blazer?”

“I don’t think the odds of--”

“Oh my god, Ajay, just answer the question!” Charlotte laughed. I rolled my eyes fondly and sighed. 

“Probably not.” I answered, arching a questioning eyebrow at her. “Materialistic people are usually assholes unless you schmooze them and give them opportunities to get even more money.”

“Exactly.” Charlotte smiled. “So I think Jim is an alright. It’s obvious that you don’t agree, though.”

I knew she was right. I knew I’d been cornered and that it was almost impossible to prove another opposing point. Just by this information, anyone could tell that she knew what she was doing. Was I even supposed to act annoyed? I was impressed, and I didn’t know how I could compliment her on it without coming off too strong.

Why are feelings so complicated...

Why can’t I just work up the courage--

Why did she have to be a theater kid...

“Yeah, it was that way for a while.” Was all I could say; the phrase was brief, but the sentiment was the same. I appreciated that she gave me another perspective.

It was silent after that; nothing awkward, but nothing too comfortable.

“What’s been going on with you?” I asked, willing my voice to stay steady. That sounded so awkward...

“What about?” Charlotte hummed, not seeming to notice my nerves. “Like, with Leila, or Skye, or the diner, or--”

“The diner,” I said, calmer this time, “have you heard anything?”

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched her shake her head briefly.

“Absolutely nothing, but if I had to guess, things haven’t changed. My mom said she’d call me with updates, but I haven’t gotten any calls or texts from her in a while. It’s weird.”

I nodded, trying to focus on the road ahead. This was usually an easy task, but with Charlotte next to me, it became...almost impossible. Infuriatingly so. With Kelly, I could control this. She didn’t make me blush as much. She didn’t make me smile or laugh as much. She didn’t make me this nervous.

Just when I thought I knew what romance was, after Kelly, the rug just had to be ripped out from beneath me. This only proves how difficult life can be.

I had a high tolerance for everyday annoyances. Having a composure of steel was in a director’s job description. I had to put up with nonsense and chaos on a daily basis...but I’ve never had my patience tested quite like this.

“Now you’re too quiet.” Charlotte teased. I felt her poke my arm. “Spill.”

My eyes flitted over to check my mirrors; rear, left, right. Though, when I looked to the right, I caught Charlotte studying me intently, her eyes slightly narrowed and her lips pursed.

“I’m just thinking,” I sighed. 

About you.

“About anything interesting?”

You.

“Not really, no. Just...school.”

Liar.

*

*

We got back to Lafayette and, to me, the air felt even heavier. It was still hard to breathe, especially now that I was thinking of the visit and Charlotte. It was a deadly combo.

Even the Tupperware container of cookies in my hands felt heavy. 

“Thank you for inviting me today,” Charlotte said, slowly walking towards a staircase. I could feel her familiar warmth that’d been next to me all morning fade and immediately wished for it to come back. Though, the more I wished, the further away she ventured.

“Thank you for coming with. It was...really nice to have someone there with me.” I said, leading her to blush a bit under my gaze.

“Of course! I hope you get everything sorted out soon. In the meantime, feel free to talk with me. I’m here for you.” Charlotte grinned, sticking her hands in her pockets after she gave me a quick wave. In response, I nodded; leading her to take off. “See you later!”

“Bye,” I said quietly, though she was already too far away to hear me. She disappeared up the stairs a few moments later.

Time passed; I stood there for a good five minutes before I was bumped into from behind. God, the audacity of some people...

“Oh, sorry,” A familiar voice piped from next to me. I was adjusting my glasses on my nose when I met their eyes - her eyes - and my eyes widened in both surprise and concern.

“Skye?”

Her eyes were red and puffy. Along with that, she had a few faint, purple bruises forming just along her jawline and on the right side of her nose. Before I could find any other injuries, she looked away. I realized she was carrying a large garment bag in her arms.

“Hey, Ajay. Uh, I...gotta...go.” Skye rushed, her voice unsteady with emotion. Out of habit, I called out her name again as she made a beeline towards the same staircase Charlotte disappeared into. 

“Wait, no, Skye--”

But she was already gone, too.

*

*

It was only two in the afternoon. The couple days of freedom before classes started...and I was lying here alone, deep in thought.

Was Jim really such a bad guy? Every cell in my body screamed at me to say yes, but in the back of my mind, I found myself saying no. He made my mother happy; maybe not so much with Mohit or I, but I guess that’ll have to come with time.

Reconsidering this situation never really passed my mind. For the past three years, the sentiment of “Amma and Jim, sitting in a tree” was extremely nauseating and unnerving. I felt obligated to dislike him, just like everything else in my life. Obligation, guilt, you name it. It probably crossed my mind throughout the first couple months of their relationship.

And if Charlotte hadn’t been there, who knows what would’ve happened. Even with her there I was too scared to face the thought of their wedding.

I grumbled, rolling over to bury my face in my pillow in an attempt to hide from everything.

“Why me?” I groaned, clutching my comforter tightly in my fists. With thoughts like these, I was in for a long afternoon.

*

*

September 5th, 2020

Dear Diary...

Damn, do I have an entry for today.

Firstly. I visited Amma, Mohit, and Jim back in Brooklyn today. I’d been holding out on that trip for a while; long enough to make myself feel unwelcome with each passing day.

The trip was mediocre, to say the least. I thought it’d allow my guilty mind to feel better and focus on other things, but I guess I was wrong. I’m still pondering over the fact that I actually abandoned them for a year. So, so much happened within that time; it’s hard to comprehend, all that new information...

What does that exactly entail, you ask? Well, then. Amma and Jim are getting married in March and Mo is actually growing up. It’s crazy to think that his birthday is in a few short weeks...

This actually leads swiftly into the next topic up for discussion. Charlotte. I know that I like her. There’s no denying that anymore. I would be all for confessing and asking her out properly, but she still hasn’t decided whether or not she’s getting involved with the show. Of course, though, this is completely reasonable - I’m not someone to tell her to rush her decisions or pressure her into something she doesn’t want - but at the same time, I want to know now instead of later. I need to prepare myself for what I’d face.

I’m almost to the point where I’m tired of waiting. I want to tell her how I feel, now that I know how to put my emotions into words. There were so many times today where she’d make me lose my focus. Make me nervous. Make me do all these uncharacteristic things that, in my opinion, would scare the hell out of people who know me for...me (AKA as a strict and uptight director and, sometimes, an emotionless blob).

If only theater wasn’t a thing. Then I’d actually have a fair chance. I try to tell my stupid brain that she isn’t like Kelly. I want to get over that fear; it’s piteous in a way that makes me second guess myself. My problem, though, is that I don’t know how.

Alright. My hand is starting to cramp. I’ll give updates as they come, but don’t expect anything grand. I want to have hope, but that’s pretty hard with all of my experiences with romance.

Ajay

[regalbanshee]

Sebastian x Blaine - I Want You Back

A random piece I found that I wrote a while back, so it’s probably really bad lol

Fandom: Glee Cast

Pairing: Sebastian Smythe x Blaine ‘Warbler’ Anderson

Word count: 1,459. Wow! long one today I guess lol

I hope you enjoy, and without further ado……

Sebastian's POV

*flashback*

Blaine had come back to Dalton Academy with some of his so called 'friends' from the New Directions. I am a little hurt that he left the Warblers to join the New Directions just so he could be with his boyfriend. Not only was he a great singer (at least that's what I've heard from Trent and David and the others), but he helped keep the group together. Earlier, when he was walking down the hallway, all I could do was stare at him. I had been told by Niff (Jeff and Nick) that he was 'sex-on-a-stick' and boy were they right! He was my teenage dream (A/N notice what I did there ☺). When everyone started singing the intro to the song I remembered what I was meant to do. I was a bit late, so I had to squeeze through the two guys at the front of our formation so I could get to Blaine. He was standing next to Kurt (who I am totally not jealous of - notice the jealousy). I couldn't help giving Blaine 'the eye' and checking him out. He looked amazing. Perfect, even.  

I never ever broke eye contact with Blaine, even when we had finished the routine. Then I asked him the one question that I wanted to know the answer to. I only hoped he would say yes.

"So Blaine, will you join the group you abandoned." What he said next hurt me so much.  

"I joined the Warblers because they were classy. None of that" He gestured behind me with a flick of his wrist "was classy." I don't know why it hurt me so much. I never even knew him, but the fact he had said no to coming back to his brothers just broke me. My heart shattered in that moment and the Blaine turned to his 'friends' (uhhgg - I hate them) and said "let's go". They left and then the Warblers all left the room gradually, until it was just me, Jeff and Nick. They had always stuck to my side ever since I joined Dalton and I was incredibly grateful for them.

Nick walked over to me where I was sitting with my head in my hands - close to tears - sunken into one of the sofas. He put a comforting hand on my shoulder and when I didn't respond he sat down. I didn't know where Jeff was in all of this but when I looked up, eyes bloodshot, Jeff wasn't in the room. I looked over at Nick and smiled weakly at him.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"I don't know. It just hurts so much. It broke me that he said no." I trailed off, figuring there wasn't much else to it except had we had eternally lost a member of the Warblers. Nick didn't say anything for a while, so I looked at him again, prompting him to talk.  

"You're gonna hate me for this, but I think you're in love with him. I know it's crazy, but that's the only logical explanation."

"You really think so? Even if I was in love with him, there's no chance that he would ever love me back. He has a fucking boyfriend for goodness' sake."

"You'll never know any answers to all your questions if you never at least try to find the answers. They may hurt but you'll feel better after a while. Trust me."

*end of flashback*

I had chosen to listen to what Nick said two days ago. I got Blaine's phone number off of one of the other Warblers - to be honest, I can't remember his name - and I texted Blaine, asking him to meet me at the Lima Bean Café. He said he would be there, so that is why I was sitting by myself holding a steaming hot cup of almond milk latte, in the Lima Bean. Blaine walked through the door and I waved to him. He gave a nod of acknowledgment in my direction then walked up to the counter, ordered his drink and walked over to the table I was sat at.  

"So what did you want to talk about?" He had a slight accent I couldn't quite recognise. All I knew was that I loved it.

"Ummmm....I don't know exactly. I suppose I should ask you how you are. So, how are you?"

"I'm fine. What about you?"

There was a pause as I thought about what to say. "Okay. Blaine, I may not know you, but I can tell when you're lying. So, tell me the truth. How are you?"

"To be honest, not great. I hate myself and my body, and when Kurt found out, he immediately broke up with me. But when he told everyone else, he twisted the whole thing and said that I was taking all my hate out on him and being abusive to him, which was totally not true, and now everyone hates me and whenever I try to talk to anyone they just walk away from me or ignore me. I just want someone to talk to because I have no one." (A/N I love Kurt with all my heart, and I never wanted to write him as a mean character, but it kind of just happened. Please don't kill me.)

I looked over at Blaine and saw that he was very close to crying. I knew he wouldn't want to break down in public so I stood up, grabbed his arm and walked outside into the fresh air. I walked round to the back of the café to the little back alley, where all the bins were (I know - not nice - but it's better than exposed to everyone) (this is me just checking before I post, but like this is absolutely DISGUSTING ahah what was I thinking). When I turned back to him, he was getting really worked up and I think he was starting to have a panic attack. I held both of his shoulders and looked him in the eyes.  

"Look at me. Think of something happy. Like friends." He looked at me. "Crap. Yeah. OK.  Not a good thing. OK. OK. What do I do? Ummmm..." I was just thinking out loud at this point. Then I had an idea. I crashed my lips to his. I held the kiss for a second or two before I pulled away. I looked down at Blaine, who was flustered and still had his eyes closed.  

"What just happened?"  

"You were having a panic attack and then I kissed you."

"Yeah I know that. But how? Why? Why me? Why kiss me?" He looked scared. Like a three-year old who's just woken up from a bad dream.

"To answer your first question, I read somewhere that holding your breath can stop a panic attack so yeah... In answer to your second, third and fourth questions, I kissed you because I like you. And you shouldn't feel alone - like no one likes you, cos that’s just not true. Because they do. I like you. And I get it if you don't want to see me again, but I'm not leaving you until I know you are home and OK."

"No. Please don't leave. I want you to stay."

"Whatever you want. Anything."

"Really? Anything?" He smirked.

"Yes."

"Then kiss me again." He smiled shyly, and I smiled back at him.  

I put two fingers under his chin and lifted it up a little, then I leaned in and he did the same. The second our lips touched, it seemed as if it was only us and there was no one else in the world. Our lips moved in sync and I put my hands on his hips, pulling him closer to me. He gasped at the sudden movement, and I used this as my chance to slip my tongue into his mouth. He moaned and wrapped his arms around my neck, followed shortly by his legs around my waist when I picked him up and pushed him back into the wall. We kissed for a few more seconds before I pulled away.

"Wow." We both said once we had got our breath back.

"Come back to Dalton. Please. We need you. I need you."  

"Yes. Yes I will.  Of course I will."

*2 weeks later*

So that was the story of how I, Sebastian Smythe, fell in love with Blaine Anderson, and how he came back to Dalton Academy and the Warblers. Also, the day after our first kiss, he, very hesitantly, asked me on a date, and then, at the end of the date, asked me to be his boyfriend. So there you have it. I have a boyfriend who loves me for who I truly am, and whom I love so much, no matter what happens to either of us.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

I hope you like this. My other Tumblr blog is imperialpirates, my Wattpad is regalbanshee and my Instagram is badassbanshee1819.

A/N: also, I feel terrible for making Kurt a not nice person, but it was the only way I could have a Seblaine one shot this way.  Please don't kill me.

I really hope you enjoyed this one. Do send in your requests and I will get them done as soon as possible.

Remember to always be yourself over anything else and always have fun.