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sinnabonka · 4 years

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Hey Hun! Lots of love to you. For starters I wanted to say that there should be no cell in your body blaming yself in any way. You and your blog were hope for so many people. You were the "you are not crazy" of the final weeks, and I'm forever grateful to you. Instead of dying of anxiety I managed to have a blast in this time of waiting, thanks to you. I passed my master thesis, because you gave me strength to see past the fear. I laughed in those weeks more than in last 5 years, and all of it because of the hope you gave me.

The rest of the msg is going to be pretty emotional rant about the awfulness of it all, and I know my opinion doesn't matter to anyone but I wanted someone important to me to hear my thoughts, if that's ok. It's also ok if you don't want to read it ofc. It's like my breakup letter to the show.

I hear many people cheering for the finale and i find it really hard to deal with. I always considered myself an open person who fights for healthy love as the only redeeming quality of the universe. I could see people's point of view, even if it didn't sit well with mine, and I would always try to hear them out respectfully until they weren't being respectful themselves. That said, I'm fully unable to understand cheering for this type of spiteful content and hearing those cheers makes me feel like the entire world is listening to "this is how you treat your fans, this is how to abuse your power over naive sheep, this is how to keep dumb, hopeful minorities in check" and taking notes.

It also upsets me that the people who gave this show all of themselves and tried to understand it to the core are given no resolution, are spitted on and buried under the rug for doing their best to appreciate the art and the story it was telling. Yet people, who just hang around and watch the show doing the dishes, with no consideration to it's story or characters, got as nonsensical ending as their whole idea of character development in SPN.

I know people say that it was good enough, because it leaves space for guessing and own interpretation, but I feel it's really undermining the extend to which the finale was awful and hurtful to the fans. There is no end that realistically could stop fanfic writers from finding way around it in the world of Supernatural, so saying it was thoughtful of them Is like excusing abusive partner because "they could hit me harder, but they didn't. That means they care"

Lose ends, characters being written in a way that is totally not true to them and their development (personally my biggest allegation), dismissing years of story development, proving that it was all 'queerbaiting' in big part in the end (hell, even the whole "Cas is in heaven so do with it what you will" is a shameful way of appalling to LGBTQ community after using them so hard.

In the pie scene, the roles should be swapped, it's Dean who should say that Cas is on his mind and Sam explaining him that it's only right to keep on living doing good in their name. That's what Dean told Sam at the beginning of the season, when Sam lost Rowena, so it would be at least a bit poetic. This would at least give us some truth from Dean for once, but he died how he lived, in shadow of his fear to be true towards his feelings and needs. And as he died, he bound his little brother to the hunting till the end of his days, by guilting him into it on his deathbed. Guess Dean took after his father.

Have you realised what that emotional "love speech" from Dean to Sam resulted in? It was writers taking back Cas' confession after they didn't need our viewership anymore.

They basically gave us love confession to get us to follow the finale and when they didn't need us anymore, not only they didn't commit to the confession, but they undermined it by having Dean's speech to Sam go the way it did with obviously higher emotional charge, successfully taking back the value of Cas' confession and making it about a bait for "Tumblr idiots"

Finale killed my feelings towards Destiel, not because it wasn't confirmed canon, but because from what I see in the episode, they canonically confirmed that

- for Dean, Cas was only means to an end, which is such an awful way of ending Cas' character arc. They gave him everything he was scared of and nothing close to consolation price and they dare to tell us he had a happy ending, "because they said so". Well, I didn't see him being happy, and knowing what i textually know i can empathise enough to say that he faced a miserable finish. Even Chuck got an end that was better than Cas' fate.

- Dean, given power to do anything he could dream of, chooses to not even greet Cas, after Cas gave his whole life to Dean, told him he loved him and died for him. I know some people consider the little smirk of Dean confirmation of his feelings, but let's be real for just a second. If someone you deeply loved for years confessed to you, told you they thought you don't love them back, you would be freaking running to see them and tell them how much you love them. That smirk to me reads as "I'm relieved to know you're not going to spend eternity in mega hell that i left you in" and we really need to stop giving credit to writers for scraps like this when it's the last episode ever and we know this isn't going anywhere.

Not to mention that by having Jack bring Cas back behind the scenes it just highlights the fact that Dean didn't ask him to do that in episode 19.

As result, I'm unable to look at any Destiel scene and not think "in here Cas already loved him and in here Dean already abuses the power he had over Cas, because of his one-sided love"

And yet, the episode and endgames for everyone (maybe not Sam, but he was seriously pinning for Dean his entire life. Wincest much?) managed to be so bad, that not even bringing Cas back or following up on Destiel would make a difference in my eyes. I know you believe that Destiel would save it, but for me as much as it would be a redeeming quality, it wouldn't be enough to save this awfulness that writer doomed characters with.

And all the Wincest scenes in the finale... I low key expected them to make out and it made me feel physically sick. Also, cutting Misha out because of coronavirus is a cheap excuse. We all know better than to believe that, so let's not fall for the self pity play from the abuser.

If you managed to stay with me till this point, thank you so much for hearing me out. I hope i didn't anger you with my monologue. I will always think of the lamp when i think of you. The reality is that you were the lamp for so many of us in this darkness.

Love you so much, wish all the best to you, take care of yourself and stay safe!

Oh my god, if I didn’t cry with the final, I definitely am crying now. And now I have to explain my partner why I’m staring at my laptop and sobbing ugly. What have you done?

First of all, I hear you pain, my friend! I share it! I didn’t spend a second after the final without the feeling of my heart being shuttered into million pieces, being stitched back just to break again, and so on and so on.

I had my first panic attack in two years yesterday, when I kept thinking about the message the show sent to the fandom via Dean’s fate. I have a few posts in my draft on the matter, but I am not sure I will ever share them, because it is one strong depresso, and I don’t think people following me should see how fucked up it really is (if they didn’t get it by themselves, of course).

I want to remind you, my gentle soul, that the story belongs to us. We know Dean, we know Cas, we know Sam and others. We know that the final is not who they are! I know it’s hard to ignore the text, the canon, because it’s kinda godsent, but the truth is essential. And the final is not the truth.

The truth:

Cas loves Dean, he sacrificed himself for him, he saved his life on multiple occasions, he told all those beautiful things and he meant every word.

Dean loves Cas, he was on his lowest every time he lost him, Cas was his “big win”, his best friend, his brother, his white light that lead him out of his anger, hatred and despair. He took a dog and called it Miracle, he was looking for a job to retire from hunting, he didn’t kill Chuck - all of that, because the sacrifice Cas made was not in vain! The message was clear.

I choose to ignore the “Carry on”, the only attention it is going to get is me creating 20 more mails just to put a one star review there and to drop some more salty or bitter comments with it. Maybe I will read through some reviews, too, add them to my collection.

Maybe I will one day write here an article from scriptwriting perspective how fucked up in was, because that’s what I can do about it, without throwing up.

If you can’t ignore it, I understand it. It is painful, it is disrespectful, I hate it as much as you do, probably.

If there’s anything I can do for you to feel better, just drop me a message, we can talk about it. I am on the lowest, too, but maybe we can help each other.

You say I was your lamp. Let me lead you our of the darkness one more time <3

CW can suck my metaphorical dick (I’m tagging every angry post with it), but Supernatural is not just the show on CW, it’s a big family.

And you can’t give up on it! You can’t give up on Dean and Cas, you can’t give up on Destiel! It’s so much bigger then the show itself.

Rediscover the show for yourself, remind yourself that Dean and Cas are real, it was never one sided, it was always something amazing.

What is real? We are.

Don’t you ever change.

I rather have you, cursed or not.

It’s love, hun, and love always wins.

#the15yearshow #spn #destiel #cw #can suck my metaphorical dick #sinnabonka answers

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hforhonesty · 5 years

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Book Review #1 | Carry On by Rainbow Rowell

“Half the time, Simon can’t even make his wand work, and the other half, he sets something on fire. His mentor’s avoiding him, his girlfriend broke up with him, and there’s a magic-eating monster running around wearing Simon’s face. Baz would be having a field day with all this, if he were here—it’s their last year at the Watford School of Magicks, and Simon’s infuriating nemesis didn’t even bother to show up.” [official synopsis of the book]

Full title: “Carry On: The rise and Fall of Simon Snow.”

Or, as I often refer to it, the death of me.

I can already hear my friend A. complaining that I read this book at least twice a year – which is odd, I get it, but I also can't help it. She says that I'm obsessed with it...

... She’s right. But there's a reason if the motto of my brand new blog is "H for Honesty", so I promise that I won't let my obsession take over the review. Scout's honor!

Anyway, we have to straighten some things out before we settle down to work, since I know that there are people out there who are not appealed by this book because of its similiarities with the Harry Potter Saga.

The Chosen One and the prophecy themes, the analogies between characters such as Penelope Bunch and Hermione Granger, the Drarry vibes, the English school of magic...

So if you want to complain about these similiarities, then stop reading, watching tv shows and movies or even breathing because, guess what?, it's literally impossible not to be influenced by others, especially if you are a writer.

I think that inspiration is good; it means that you've reached the heart of your readers and left a permanent mark on it. As a wanna-be writer I can only aspire to do such a great thing as inspiring someone to the point that they want to share their own stories.

Speaking of Rainbow Rowell being inspired by Jk Rowling, well, it doesn't mean that she plagiarised her work – far from it. Rainbow's World of Mages is something fresh, modern, unexplored. It has cliches just like any other great story, but instead of running in circles it goes beyond them.

This is why the first character I want to introduce is Agatha Wellbelove, who’s supposed to play the role of the protagonist’s love interest. I’m gonna be honest with you guys – I didin’t like her at first, like not at all.

It’s hard to explain without spoiling the book but I’ll try my best, alright?

Agatha is the only daughter of one of the richest and most important families of the world of mages. Her father is a doctor and her mother is very invested in the social part of their community, hence the charity works such as having poor, orphan Simon stay at their house during Christmas break.

Beautiful, popular, kind. She had to be all these things for her whole life because everything had already been set up for her. Even her relationship with Simon was inevitable. I know it’s silly but think of Shrek: like Fiona, she had to play the role of the damsel in distress locked in the highest tower of the castle, awaiting for her knight in his shiny armour... only to be his reward at the end of the story, when the magical war is over... if he manages to survive.

But Agatha is more than that.

“Lucy disappeared?” I say.

“Worse,” Mum says. “She ran away. From magic. Can you imagine?”

“Yes,” I say, then, “no.”

She wants to spend time with her normal friends, go to a normal school, be a normal person without the burden of magic on her shoulders. But she can’t, of course, because everyone would think that she’s insane, so she’s stuck in a world where she doesn’t belong.

Magic is a religion.

But there’s no such thing as not believing – or only going through the motions on Easter and Christmas. Your whole life has to revolve around magic all the time. If you’re born with magic, you’re stuck with it, and you’re stuck with other magicians, and you’re stuck with wars that never end because people don’t even know when they started.

I honestly didn’t understand her character at first, because c’mon, if someone came to me and told me that I could attend Hogwarts/Watford and have magical powers if I wanted, I wouldn’t even hesitate to answer hell, yeah. But this is another matter, ofc.

The point is that Rainbow Rowell’s characters are what I’d like (and dare) to define «the apotheosis of relatability». They are not just fictional characters. When they think, when they talk, when they act... they seem extremely human in my head, they seem to bloody exist, as if they weren’t made of paper...

I think that this effect is mostly due the fact that the book was written in first person singular. Yeah, I know that most people avoid this type of point of view like the plague, but believe me when I say that Carry on is 100% worth it.

Every chapter mirrors the thoughts of the main characters, from Simon’s to the Mage’s, and is shaped by them. For instance:

When Simon is talking, his words are articulated in short and/or mostly broken sentences.

He doesn’t reply – he must still be working up to a bluster.

Snow blusters like no one else. But! I mean! Um! It’s just! It’s no wonder he can never spit out a spell.

When he’s thinking, the pages are filled with long and elaborated phrases, which can be seen especially in the first chapters of the book;

Baz, on the other hand, has the opposite problem. He comes up with the most complex sentences when he’s speaking, while his thoughts are often interrupted by the use of round brakets, which is undoubtedly of my favourite features of his chapters.

So even though he seems this cool and charming and extremely confident and super duper talented and handsome magician, this is just his façade. In reality, he’s the type of guy who would rather be alone during meals because he’s too self-conscious and doesn’t want his family to see the fangs that come through when he’s eating.

It’s no secret that Baz is very secretive when it comes to his feelings or anything that concerns his private sphere, as he always weighs his words before he speaks up. But when the crosstalk is between him and Simon, there’s literally nothing in the world that Baz loves more than teasing him.

“I know what you are,” I snarled.

His eyes locked onto mine. “Your roommate?”

I shook my head and squeezed the hilt of my sword.

Baz stepped into my reach. “Tell me,” he spat.

I couldn’t.

“Tell me, Snow.” He stepped even closer. “What am I?”

I growled again and raised the blade an inch. “Vampire! I shouted. He must have felt the force of my breath on his face.

He started giggling. “Really? You think I’m a vampire? Well, Aleister Crowley, what are you going to do about that?”

I love the dynamics between Baz and Simon because their relationship is so genuine and thriving, absolutely compelling. You can see the deep impact that they have on each other from page one. Yes, they are roommates (oh my god, they are roommates), but they are enemies too, so they don’t really know how to deal with each other beyond their rivalry, especially when they have to team up against a common enemy.

These dynamics are way funnier when you consider that they concern a third character too. Yes, this is the moment I introduce you to the person that was recently hospitalized due to severe back pains caused by the burden of carrying Simon Snow’s bullshit on her shoulders from day one: Penelope Bunce.

She told me later that her parents had told her to steer clear of me at school. “My mum said that nobody really knew where you came from. And that you might be dangerous.”

“Why didn’t you listen to her?” I asked.

“Because nobody knew where you came from, Simon! And you might be dangerous!”

“You have the worst survival instincts.”

“Also, I felt sorry for you,” she said. “You were holding your hand backwards.”

As you can see, I love Penny. She’s clever, she’s talented, she’s this amazing young woman who is not afraid to walk with you toward eternal damnation or help you hide a corpse or do both at the same time. Because she’s all that – and more than that. She’s everything.

Penny is the kind of person who, right after you say that “curiosity killed the cat”, would rejoin that “satisfaction brought it back”. She is exactly the character that I needed as a role model during both my childhood and my adolescence: stubborn, curious, terribly ambitious... For some time I had been convinced that these were negative traits, but it’s mostly thanks to Penny that I’ve started to realise that they are good qualities instead.

I see a lot of myself in Penelope, and I could never thank Rainbow Rowell enough for creating her characters.

I could never thank Rainbow enough for writing about this amazing world and sharing it with us. And I will never stop thanking her for deciding to give us a sequel, Wayward son.

In the meanwhile, thank you. Yes, you: the person reading this review. I hope you enjoyed it! If so, follow me for new pieces :)

With love,

M.C.

P.S. I apologise for the inappropriate use of the editor but it appears that tumblr hates me.

P.P.S. My friend A. says hi – and wants you to know that the only reason she can stand the Mage is because his name is David... you know, like David Dobrik. I can’t even.

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bithor · 6 years

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sandhya!! oml congrats!! there is nobody that deserves 1K more :D For the celebration: ♦️ (is that close enough to the diamond thing?) I can't call you out for using google slides because,,,, same tbh, And my favorite Marvel scene is SO hard because I have so many, but the whole bridge fight scene in CATWS is just,,, amazing, angsty (who the hell is bucky?), and super cool. I love talking to you and I'm so excited for you!!

PAZ thank you so much, you’re too sweet!! and honestly the causeway fight scene is one of my absolute favorites! tysm, sorry for the wait, and your rate is under the cut 💞

no more xo

advice/compliments: okay i swear i thought i was already following you but tumblr’s dumb fhdsjkfhldjsf ANYWAYS you’re always so incredibly sweet!! whenever you message me, it never fails to make me smile [also im so bad at responding hhsdjfksf]!! it’s always awesome to have another s&d friend; keep doing you, and ilysm!

#ask #personal #not mcu #1kbr #goodnightbuckybarnes

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leekycauldron-blog1 · 7 years

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could i get a blograte? easter is great cause i love chocolate and it means i get some days off work, its awesome. thanks!

i love easter too!!! but i didnt get it off work cuz i work in a pub and we dont get holidays off ew!!

compliment/advice: i love all your edits, i love your updates tab and how the hell is ur theme so CUTE omg amazing

want one?

#mcgxnagall #alicia does br

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tellerford13 · 8 years

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MO ASTOR- CHAPTER 22

We don’t own the bikes, brothers, or any “related” Sons of Anarchy, trust us, if we did we wouldn’t have the time to write. No money is being made from our stories. So, please don’t sue. It’d be a fruitless endeavor indeed. That being said, Harley, Journee, and any other newbies are ours, and we don’t share. :Whispers in creepy voice: “My precious.” The universe This reality is a mix of cannon, and our own ideas. We strive to keep the boys cannon, but since we will be shifting around some of the events, that will reflect in our writing and their personalities as well. It’s our goal to provide you with quality fiction, and solid, fleshed out OFC. We appreciate constructive criticism and love LOVE reviews, they are a writers life blood and definitely help encourage us and inspire us. We will be posting on our Tumblr where we’ll have fun pictures from time to time as well. http://tellerford13.tumblr.com We’ll also be taking requests for one shots, preferences or imagines for all things Sons at our other Tumblr, so check it out and send your thoughts!http://tellerford13oneshots.tumblr.com/ And just for fun, we’ve decided to start a Pinterest for the story! So if you want a glimpse at our girls and see into our world, check it out! https://www.pinterest.com/tellerford/

A/N:

Surprise! A huge thanks to all who’ve sent us amazing reviews and comments. You truly keep the muse happy. Again an early Valentine ’s Day to you. <3 We hope you’re enjoying the one on one time with our couples.

Mo Astor Chapter 22

Lee

The sound of the phone makes me grunt. I glance over and realize it’s still dark out.

“Who the fuck is calling you at three in the morning?” Jax groans. He reaches over me and picks up the vibrating menace off the night stand. “Oh shit.” He chuckles. “Baby J! How the hell are you?”

I sit up, instantly awake. “Give me the phone.”

“No, I want to talk to her,” he says turning his back. “Are you having fun? Yeah? Can you even walk.” He barks a laugh. “What? It’s a legitimate question. I’m concerned for your well-being. He treating you good? Is his family?” He huffs. “Cause it’s my job Baby J. Says the piece of slip Ma signed when Sugar went to jail for two years. This shit is official. I’m the big brother.”

I shake my head and wipe away the sleep from my eyes. He loves to pull out the paper issue. It’s his ace in the hole. I remember one time when Journee had been hurt and was in the hospital he’d nearly taken someone’s head off when they told him, family only. The staff never made that mistake again.

“Yeah. She’s here. …Good.” His voice changes. It’s softer and less confident. “Yeah, I’m glad too. Shut up J.”

I laugh. The infamous I’m just saying has been followed by Shut up J for as long as I can remember.

“Here. Talk to your sister,” he says thrusting the phone at me.

Her giggles sound in my ear.

“You sound happy.”

She sighs. “I am. You sound sleepy. Did I interrupt play time?”

I snicker. “No, that was before. I mean why do you think we’re exhausted?”

She laughs. “Seriously, though, it’s been good?”

“Oh yeah,” I sneak a look at Jax who I know is listening to every word despite his prone position.

“Ugh, he’s there creeping on our convo isn’t he?”

“You know it.”

“Just like when were in high school. We should make him worry.”

“You’re so evil.”

“It’s why you love me so much isn’t it?”

“One of the many reasons why my love. How’s the honey moooon?” I sing the last part in a high pitch voice, and we both laugh. I can’t believe my best friend is a married woman.

“It’s a dream I don’t want to wake up from. The place we stayed in was right out of a Jane Austen book. I mean the hotel details, rich green velvet canopy over the four-poster bed, and a bathroom to die for. I mean the claw-footed bath tub had silver legs!”

“Holy crap, Hubby went all out.”

“Umm yeah, in more ways than one. The Kitty has been used and abused on a daily basis.”

“OI. I took care of it after every time.” Chibs’ Scottish brogue chimes in over the line.

“I was getting there, Daddy. I never said I didn’t enjoy it either,” She says in a coquettish tone that makes me laugh.

“He’s carried me to warm salt filled sweet scented baths nearly every day. How he expects me to return to everyday life after this, I do not know.”

“I’ll do it every day if you want,” Chibs says from the background.

“Um no I already have a hitch in my giddy up, thank you.”

“You guys are so damn adorable,” I say unable to keep from smiling.

“I want to know about you two! I wait my entire life for this shit to happen and it all goes down, and I leave. How fair is that?”

I picture her full lower lip poked out and her eyes wide.

“You know I’ll give you the play by play.”

“You’d better.”

“How’s his family?”

“Great, Hey I’m an Aunt now. Padric is my nephew.”

“Oh is he cute?”

She laughs. “He’s just five years younger, so I don’t know if that’s the word I’d use.”

“Hah, your son is only a couple years younger, so it’s clear you’ll have an unconventional family.”

“Ain’t that the truth? I love him. He reminds me of Chibs, and his sister is really cool too. She gave us a baby blanket!”

“Something you want to tell me there Journee?”

“Noo. Not that kind. This is a handmade quilt. It’s a family tradition. Family lore has it, you’ll conceive as long as you’re under the blanket.”

“Aahhh babe. That’s really sweet.”

“Right? I’m sorry to call you so late. I forgot about the time difference. I just realized I hadn’t talked to you in nearly four days and had a mini panic attack.”

“It’s okay we know you’ve been busy.”

“Yes, but the question is, have you?”

“Dirty girl.”

“So that’s a yes.”

“That’s a hell yes,” I say excited about the news I have to share. This feels better than anything I ever hoped for. Kick was a close second. I could’ve been content with him for the rest of my life, but Jax…Jax makes me happy in a way I never thought possible. I want to spill my guts to Journee right now, but I can’t.

“I’ll ask a question, and you say yes or no.”

“Okay.”

“Am I the only one still limping?”

I choke on my laughter. “Nu-uh.”

“Good, you wench. I was mortified at the second wedding until I saw you come hobbling along. You can’t leave me alone in this.”

“You’ll get used to it, I promise,” I assure her.

“Is it the best?”

“Oh yeah, for a bunch of different reasons.”

“I knew it!”

“Is this a fact check or a conversation Detective Telford?”

“Both.”

“At least you’re honest.”

“Shut up. You’re dying to give up the info. Stupid head is the one preventing our talk-a-thon.”

“It’s so true.”

“First thing when I come back?”

“You know it, babe.”

“I miss you,” she says.

I sigh. “I miss you too my friend.”

“Daddy’s looking impatient. I should go now.”

“I didn’t say a word.” Chibs adds.

“Wasn’t your mouth that was looking impatient.”

I laugh. “Okay, Mrs. Telford. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Love you.”

“Love you more,” I say as we disconnect.

“Baby J sounds really fucking happy,” Jax says.

“I know, she deserves it.”

“They both do,” He agrees.

“Well since we’re up,” Jax says as he rolls me onto my back and sets the phone on the nightstand.

“You want to play twenty-one questions?” I tease.

He parts my legs with his knee.

“Yeah, I do. Starting with, how does this feel?” He sucks the skin on my neck into his mouth, and I moan.

“It’s okay.”

His chuckle vibrates against my skin, and he nudges my core with his knee. “How ‘bout this?” he asks as I roll my hips, seeking the friction.

“Warmer.”

He runs a hand down my body and parts my slick lips. He circles my entrance once, and I’m lost. I shudder as he eases two fingers in and starts a rhythm I can’t help but follow.

“Jax,” I whine, needing more.

“Ask me for it baby.”

“I need you inside me now.”

He drives home, and I gasp as he fills me to the brim. I dig my nails into his shoulder and raise my hips. I flex around him and whimper as he hits the right spot inside me. Our bodies come together as he bottoms out over and over, tapping that spot that has me shaking and breathless.

“Oh, Jax.”

“So damn right. Jesus, Lee.” He growls as he moves faster and faster. The bed post taps the wall, and my lungs threaten to give as I bounce between screams and moans.

“So good.” I’m chanting as my heart beats so fast I struggle to suck down enough oxygen and my entire body tenses as I crest the wave. He thrusts home once more, and I shatter, shaking as I cream on his thickness. He grunts and bites my shoulder as he fucks me through my orgasm before he releases inside me.

***

Journee

I’m sad to say goodbye to Padric and Greer. They grew on me quickly. With their quick tongues, teasing manner, and familiar features, it’s easy to feel as if I’ve known them for a lifetime. This was about more than a family reunion. My old man was making his peace with his past, and it was a beautiful thing. I swear years have lifted off him. He’s more relaxed than I’ve ever seen him be as we drive away from the quaint village.

“Did you have a good time love?” he asks.

“I did. I hope Kerrianne likes our presents.” Together we’d picked out a leather bound journal, and a pretty lace dress.

“I think she will. It’s the thought that counts. Being able to have a way to communicate with her is more than I ever dared hope for in me lifetime. All this time I worried she’d thought I’d forgotten about her.”

“I think she knows better than that, Filip. Fiona might be sleeping with the enemy, but Kerrianne is surrounded by those who love and know you. They’d tell her the way of things.”

“You don’t know the power Jimmy O has over people. He’d make a man turn against his own mother if it pleased him. All to avoid his wrath. The man is the devil incarnate. I’ve seen many things in my life, but ne’er was there a man so evil as this one.”

The words send a chill through my bones. He reaches across the car and takes my hand. “But you don’t have to worry about him, love. I’ll kill him with me bare hands before I let him breathe the same air as you.”

I lean over and kiss his cheek, humbled by his words. I’m used to fighting. The only girl surrounded by men I had to fight to be heard, fight to do what I want and fight to be seen as more than a pretty piece of ass and the fastest way to climb your way up the GB ladder. It’s why I never dated in-house. Being the princess puts a target on your back. I wanted to be loved for me, not what an association with me would bring them. Of course, that was only for those brave enough to stand up to my father which was few and far in-between. Menace is not a man to be fucked with.

He taught me how to bid my time, protect myself, and unleash the primal warrior inside of me. I often wondered if I was a disappointment. I don’t have the boisterous countenance of both my parents. I like to sit back and exam people. I loosen up after a bit, but I don’t trust easily or take to many right off the bat. That’s what happens when you see the worst people have to offer too much. My father is the equalizer. I know better than most the evil men can do, and how fast some can turn. It’s why Lee, Jax, and I are so close. Regardless of the petty fights and growing pains, we’ve always had one another’s backs. There’s power in that.

There were times when I felt like they were the only ones I could count on to remain. I dated, but it never panned out or failed to launch altogether. We grew up together, the four of us. I had the biggest crush on Opie. I mean how could I not? The gentle giant had a sweet streak in him, and he always protected me. When we kissed my freshman year, I swore I saw stars. We were on the cusp of something when his bitch of a mother made him leave. I knew he’d be back, so I waited, pined, and planned out life out in my head. Only, he returned with another name on his lips, Donna. The embarrassment and shame singed me as surely as a flame.

I went internal. Then Chibs showed up, and a mysterious man with healing scars, dark countenance, and accent. I have a way with healing. It’s not unusual for me to patch the brothers. Hell, in another life, I might’ve been a nurse. These are things I learned from my mother. Somewhere between tending him and crushing in my quiet way, we came to an understanding. He tolerated me, taught me things about cars, and I found a way to get over the perceived rejection from the man I once idolized. The man who pulled away from the close-knit group cultivated since we were kids.

Right now with my heart full and my future bright, I couldn’t be more grateful for the way things turned out. A few months earlier I wouldn’t have said that. I’d begun to wonder if perhaps there was something wrong with me. If maybe Kyle had been right. The funny thing about verbal abuse is, it ramps up. It never happens from the start. It creeps in like a fungus until it attaches itself to your psyche and begins to grow. Then it’s a part of you, and getting rid of it is a bitch. Because once you clear yourself off and it gets dark and cold again, it resurfaces, and the cleansing process begins all over again. It’s different with my husband. He makes me feel like I am enough.

We left early, so I know he has something else planned for the day.

“Is this the way we came?”

“No, we’re going back to a different location love. I would never forgive myself If I didn’t take you here before we went home.”

“Is it the reason why you chose my dress today?” I ask.

“Aye.”

He was almost bashful as he set out the lacey off white dress with a ruffled top, ruffled layers, and a slight train. I thought it was a bit fancy. Especially when he insisted I wear a floral crown headband around my hair, but he asks me for so little I complied with a smile and no questions. I pull the light weight heather gray shawl closer as the air begins to warm with the day and the sun. I’m excited to see where he’ll lead. He returns with our bags, a wide smile, and a bouquet of peach colored Gerber daisies and white flowers.

“Oh my God, they’re beautiful. You didn’t have to get me anything,” I say as my cheeks heat.

“Aye, I did. I aim to spoil you.” He hands them over with a sweet kiss, and I swear I fall even deeper in love with him. I place them in my lap, take a picture and send it to Lee with the text.

Just because flowers. I have the best husband in the world.

As we drive the countryside changes and begins to yield to a dazzling display of picturesque water surrounded by green land reflected in the waters like a mirror.

“That’s the Loch.”

“It’s beautiful.”

“Aye. Wait to you see where we’re staying.”

We pull up to the white building nestled among the rolling green hills, and I swear I’m in a dream. This is the stuff of legends. I expect a unicorn to come prancing down to greet us any moment.

“Do you like it?” he asks quietly. “I know it’s a lot smaller than the last hotel. But it’s got so much character.”

“I love it. It’s perfect.”

He smiles, and the uncertainty is swept away. “We need to get checked in if we’re going to make our boat ride.”

I scramble out of the car, and he laughs. I suddenly understand why he wanted me to wear this dress. It fits perfectly with the landscape. I turn, taking it all in. The click of a shutter draws my attention.

“Pose for me, my bonnie lass. I want to remember you here forever.”

***

Lee

I frown. It’s too quiet. I’m not used to the lack of noise. Usually, if I’m not working, I’m at the clubhouse, out with Journee, or at least talking to her on the phone. It was a slow day at the office, and I’m all caught up on projects. I flick through the channels and settle on The Fast and The Furious. The sound of a bike in the driveway perks me up. Jax! I slip off the couch and hurry to the front door. I peer out and find myself surprised. Tig? This could be a good thing, or a bad thing depending on his mood. I’m always happy to see him, but those nights when he needs me to pull him back from the edge, sadden me. He suffers for what he does to keep the club safe, but most will never know it.

I open the door.

“Hey, Doll.”

“Hey Tiggy. What’s going on?”

“Needed some quiet, ya know?”

I nod my head. There are times when the boys want a break from it all. My house is always open to them for that reason. It’s why I don’t downsize to an apartment.

“Come on in. You have perfect timing. I was just thinking it was too quiet.”

“Yeah? You missing wifey?”

“Big time. You missing hubby?”

He laughs. “Yeah I do. It’s too quiet without that Scottish fucker around.” We head inside, and I plop on the couch. He lands beside me and wraps an arm around my shoulders. His warmth and scent are familiar, and I’m lulled into a relaxed state.

“So where’s pretty boy?” I shrug. “In his skin?”

“You ain’t worried at all?”

“No, I trust him.”

He grunts, scowling.

“Why don’t you say whatever you have on your mind Tiggy.”

“Just not sold on this one, baby doll. The boy gets around and breaks hearts. Hell, look at Wendy. She didn’t deserve what he did to her. All she ever did was love him. And I ain't one to be soft on broads. She has her problems, but she never did wrong by him.”

“I know. And I don’t approve of how that went down, but it’s got nothing to do with the two of us. Tell me you didn’t think this might happen one day.”

“A long time ago when you were younger, yes. Now…not so much.” He shakes his head. “I don’t want to see you hurt, or be put at odds with my brother. If he does wrong by you, there’s going to be problems.”

“He won’t.” As I say it, I realize I believe it wholeheartedly. “If I thought he would, we never would’ve happened.”

He sighs.

“People change. You know that.”

“Yeah. I’m watching him.”

“Wouldn’t expect anything different Papa bear,” I say as he chuckles. “Is that the only reason why you came over?”

“No. The brothers were getting on my nerves. Needed a break.”

“Then hang out here with me for a while and watch some TV.”

“What is this crap?” he asks.

“The Fast and the Furious?”

“Crappy rice burners? Really Doll? Thought you had better taste than that.”

“Shut up. I like this series.”

He rolls his eyes but settles in and goes quiet. It’s nice to get some quality time in with the man who I think of as my Pops.

We end up ordering pizza and cracking open the six pack in my fridge. After the torture of The Fast and the Furious, he makes me watch Harley Davidson and the Marlboro man for the millionth time. It’s endearing the way some things never change.

“I don’t know why you love that movie so much,” I say as I roll my eyes.

“Are you kidding me? It’s a classic.”

“Yeah, because they didn’t know any better.”

He holds his hands over his heart. “You’re wounding me here.”

Another bike pulls into the driveway.

“And that’s my cue.”

“What, you can’t be in the same room with us?”

“I’m not ready to watch the two of you suck face.” He shudders. “Thanks for the break.” He leans forward kisses my forehead and stands.

“Anytime, old man.”

He winks and heads to the door. I hear a muffled conversation with the voice I recognize as Jax, and a few minutes later he walks inside.

“Looks like I’m late to the party.”

“Nah just hanging out with my Pop.”

He nods his head. “Still weird to see Tig in a different light.”

“Yeah, well get used to it cause he’s always going to be around.”

“I hear you loud and clear.”

I relax. “Good.” It’s not secret the two of them have issues. He’s Clay’s boy through and through, and Jax represents the new change coming for the gavel. To say it caused friction is putting it lightly. I hope for my sake they can learn to play nice when I’m around at least. “I know there’s no love lost between the two of you, but he means a lot to me. He’s always been there when I needed him, and I want you to work on getting along.”

“That’s a lot to ask. We got a history of butting heads. Look I don’t think he’s a bad guy, we’re just after two completely different things when it comes to the club. Makes shit tense.”

“Maybe you should try harder to get him to see your side instead of baiting him. He’s smart. You show him why and it’s legit…He might surprise you by getting on board.”

“Naw, he’s blinded by Clay.”

“So make him see the light.” I insist.

He sighs. “Maybe. Enough about Tig. I came here to be with you.”

He wraps his arms around me and leans in for a sweet kiss.

I let the moment pass for now, but I’m nowhere near done working on him.

***

Journee

The night before we leave we’re in Galloway.

“I know you Chibs, what’s the reason for this being our last stop?”

He glances at the sky. “You’ll see soon enough. It’ll bring us back to the start.”

I tilt my head and ignore the temptation of checking my phone. “Come on, love. It’ll get a bit chilly tonight. We need to change into something warmer.”

Back at our room, I slip into comfortable black leggings, gray boot socks, with brown boots we bought here and a warm emerald green sweater I’d fallen in love with. As we make our way outside the hotel with a flask of something to warm us up I tilt my head back and gasp. The stars overhead are so close I swear I could touch them.

“Surprise.”

I turn to him and smile. “It did all start under the stars didn’t it?”

“Aye with a bold little minx who kissed me first to my shock and delight.”

I laugh. Only Chibs could pull off that word and be so damn rugged and sexy.

“Come on, the view from the observatory is like nowhere else in the world.” He slings two blankets over his shoulder, grabs a flashlight and offers me his arm.

I wrap my arms around his as we make our way from the hotel. It’s beautiful here, quiet, clean, and fresh in a way California could never be. I’d never been too far from my home, so this is mind-blowing. I inhale the cool air and soak up the experience.

“Do you know why the stars are so vivid love?”

“No.”

“Because Scotland enjoys some of the darkest skies in Europe. It gives them a background to really shine against.”

“Oh.”

We find a spot, and he puts down a blanket. We lay on our backs, and he covers us with the other one. I gaze up at the sky, enchanted by the diamond dotted velvet canvas. The beauty steals my breath. On the edges, I see what looks like a rainbow. Brilliant violet reds, and greenish yellows encompass the area. “Oh. Oh, my God. Is that what I think it is?” My voice trembles and my eyes fill with tears at the stunning display before us. The lights dance and glimmer, like fairies come out to play.

“Aye, the Northern lights. I was hoping she’d show herself to us tonight. If you took all those stars in the sky and added them into one blazing ball of light, it might come close to the way I feel about you.”

“Oh, Filip.” I turn toward him, and our lips meet. I taste forever on his tongue, an eternity in the shape and feel of his lips. I cup his face, tracing the memorizes planes and the scar tissue.

“Can I have you here, Lennan? With the stars as our witnesses?”

“I am yours anytime any place, my love.”

“You do things to me heart that should be illegal, little lass.”

We fumble with belts, buttons and tights until he’s buried inside me. Pinned by his weight and the tights and boots around my legs, I can only take everything he offers. My breath stutters in my lungs as I watch the sky move above me. The old magic of this land and the man from it inhabits me. I say a prayer to keep this man forever, and I swear I feel an answer in my bones. As I fall to pieces and he fills me to the brim, I know I’ve been granted my wish.

I urge you to watch this video, so you can get the full experience of this scene. https://www.visitscotland.com/see-do/landscapes-nature/dark-sky-parks-sites/#&gid=1videoitems&pid=1

#sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy fanfiction #Jax Teller #chibs telford #Mo Astor

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tellerford13 · 8 years

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MO ASTOR- CHAPTER 20

A/N: Sorry this is coming in late tonight. Mr. Teller didn’t want to stop talking. Chibs has so much to say too so … we’re breaking our every other week rule for the next chapter, so expect an early Valentine’s day present. ;)

Mo Astor Chapter 20

Jax

“You got plans tonight, baby?” Mom asks as I wipe my hands off with a rag done with the final oil change of a day. Perk of the job here, I don’t do weekends.

“No. You need me to do something?”

She sighs. “Listen. Lee ain’t Wendy or any of those other waste off skins you’ve had for girlfriends. You need to put some effort in to keep her. It’s Friday night. A nice dinner and a movie or something goes a long way. You guys are more than just friends now. You can’t keep treating her the same way you used to.”

“Do I do that?”

“Take it from the lady who works in the office with her and the garage with you. Yes, you do.”

“Trying not to make the same mistakes Ma. I know how Lee is. You hold on too tight, and she gets antsy.”

“Ain’t nothing confining about a little romance. Trust me. Your Father was good at that.” She shakes her head and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. “That man had a way of making me feel like I was the only woman in the world he saw. Even with all the things he had on his plate. He made time for me. It’s why I was willing to walk to that man. Loyalty and love are everything. You do whatever you have to do to keep that once you have it.”

The sincerity in her voice opened my ears wider than they usually were when she spoke. Even after all this time, I could tell she missed my dad. What they had was special, and I respected her advice when it came to that. I’d seen this life chew up and spit out so many couples. Hell Bobby was on wife number four, and still dreaming of forever after, because the big softy was romantic to the core. Maybe that was a requirement for all Elvis Impersonators.

“What would you suggest? And don’t play dumb, cause if you brought this up, you already have a plan.

She smirks and blows out smoke. “Can’t fool you, can I baby? Get her out of Charming. Go up the road to that nice new Italian restaurant they opened. There’s a movie theater near there or a place to go dancing. I know she and your sister always liked to go do that. Those two damn near gave us gray hair being out all night, after losing the prospects we assigned to trail them.” She shakes her head, and I laugh.

“And then you put me to the task.”

“Hah. Yeah, I did, and I think it made it worse instead of better.”

“What? They were safe, weren’t they?” I say with a sly grin.

“Yeah, and your rap sheet got longer.”

“And people got the picture and started staying away, didn’t they?” I took the job of guarding my girls very seriously. There was a time when Sugar got locked up, and Baby J had come to live with us for a spell. Given Menace’s position, and the fact that Sugar’s parent’s hated the club, there was no way Sugar could leave her or send her off with family. It had cemented our sibling-like bond.

“That they did, baby. You did a good job with those two. My little Samcro princess and my bonus baby.”

I shake my head at the satisfied smirk that lines her lips. She’d gotten exactly what she always wanted, Lee and I together and Baby J with a Son. One she respected and liked. I don’t know what woman wronged my Mom in her life, but she couldn’t stand ninety percent of females. Hell, I only think Aunt Luanne and her work so well, because Luanne is a follower who knows her place. My Ma’s shrewd like that. Can’t bitch too much when she’s taught me everything I know about ensuring my place and never letting anyone else get the upper hand.

I keep my mouth shut until I’m ready to make my move. It allows people to underestimate me. I like that. It gives me a chance to come up with a plan and execute it flawlessly. You make mistakes in this world, and you end up in a pine box.

“So dinner and a movie or dinner and dancing? I think I can manage that.”

“Good. And this time…keep your hands to yourself unless someone tries to touch her. Nothing ruins a night out worse than arrest.”

I snicker. “I Hear you.”

“Good. “ She tosses her butt to the ground and stubbs it out with the toe of her black high heel. “You might want to make reservations. Be a shame to make the drive and not get a table.”

“Why don’t you do it Ma. Since you did everything else.”

“It’ll be my pleasure.” She winks and walks off as I laugh.

Her words had me thinking about our interactions in the garage. We weren’t stiff, but I kept my hands to myself. Lee had always been the type to keep business and pleasure separate. She had to, in many ways, to keep her legitimate standing with the upper crust of Charming. Her beauty, schooling, and good reputation allowed them to overlook her Samcro ties. She was a much-needed bridge. One they should know had been claimed.. There’d been a number of square ass dudes who’d tried to tie her down. They didn’t see at heart; she was always made to be a biker’s woman.

She’d never be happy with some laid back, casual dude who wanted 2.5 kids, a white picket fence, and nothing to do with her family. Hell Tig, the most fucked up of us all, was her father figure. Someone outside the life would never be able to handle or understand that. Civilians were too damned judgmental for their own good.

I move to an area where I can see her without her seeing me. Dressed in a well-worn pair of faded jeans with ripped knees and a Samcro t-shirt she’s knotted at the waist to show a sliver off tan toned flesh, she’s the prettiest thing I’ve ever set eyes on.

I don’t want her doubting her importance or her place in my life for a second. I’ve always been good at pushing her boundaries without toppling her. I have no problem doing that now to let everyone know we’re very taken. It’s healthier than killing people who cross a line with her.

She turns her head towards my mother, and genuine adoration colors her brilliant blue eyes. Seeing the affection between two off the woman I love most makes me smile. Yeah, she deserves more, and I can step it up and give it to her.

I finish cleaning in the sink, scrubbing my hands with the orange scented Pumice soap, careful to get under my nails and around my cuticles. I had plans for these tonight, and they needed to be spotless to be worthy of entrance into hot, wet places.

Satisfied with my hands, I splash water on my face and pat it dry with paper towels and pitch them in the bin. It’s Friday, and I’m calling it a day. We don’t have any pressing repairs that can’t wait or be finished by a prospect.

I make my way to the office and lean into the door.

“You about done in here, Lee?”

“I don’t know?” She turns to face my Ma. “Am I?”

“Yeah, you two get out of here. I’ll close down tonight. Unlike you two, my only plans are a party at the clubhouse.”

Lee looks at me confused, and I smirk.

“What’s she talking about?”

“Mr. wonderful here got you a table at that new Italian place at seven tonight. If you hurry, you’ll have enough time to get all dolled up before you leave.”

“Did someone mention dolls?” Tig asks shuddering as he comes into view, silent like always.

“Yeah, Tiggy. The kids are going out for a nice date.”

“Where you taking her?” he asks, eyeballing me.

I stand my ground forcing myself not to respond to his lasers as they bore a hole through me. I ain’t going anywhere, so he needs to get used to it.

“The cute little restaurant up the road,” Mom says.

“Apparently that’s where we’re going,” Lee says with an almost shy smile I know I want to see more often.

“Huh,” Tig grunts. “Take care of my girl.”

“Always do,” I say refusing to back down under his crazed glare. Tig could back up his bark, but I had no plan to give him a reason to do that.

He nods and walks over to kiss her on the forehead. “Have fun tonight.”

“I will, Tiggy,” she says kissing his cheek. He softens, and I turn away feeling like I’m intruding on a private moment.

“Well get out of here before I change my mind,” Ma says waving her hand. I wrap my arm around Lee’s waist, lift her off her feet, and carry her off.

“What are you doing?”

“Escaping while we can. It takes two seconds for shit to go to hell around here,” I say.

She giggles and relaxes against me. “Well, I’m going to need my purse.”

I return to the office and Ma hands her purse. “Ah, to be young and in love again,” She says.

Lee tenses and I squeeze her and jet out before my mother can freak her out more. It’s funny…I’m usually the gung-ho one who jumps into everything, but I can’t with her. At least not on the surface. She’s had too many men who counted disappoint her.

I ignore the whistles and hoots sent our way as we exit the garage into the sunshine.

“How long you need to get ready?”

“How pretty you want me?”

“You’re already drop dead gorgeous, Lee. The clothing doesn’t change that.” She gasps. “Oh, I forgot how much of a charmer you could be.”

“Just stating a fact, darling,” I say as I brush her lips with mine and set her down by her car.

“I’ll meet you at your house in say … one hour? It’ll give us both enough time to clean up and then hit the road?”

“Sounds good, to me Teller.” She pauses and studies me.

“What?” I ask.

She shakes her head and smiles as she unlocks her car and slips into the driver’s seat. I’m getting under her skin. Darling, you ain’t seen nothing yet.

I hurry back inside to my dorm and open my closet. Tucked in the back are a nicer pair of jeans and a button up. A knock sounds on my door.

“Yeah.”

I pull out the black button down and glance over my shoulder at Candy. The slender bleach blonde is poured into a pair of low-slung jeans and a crop top that barely covers her implants. Turgid nipples push out the thin white material.

“Ma need something?”

“No. I just thought I could help you get cleaned up.” She enters the room swaying her nonexistent hips.

“I’m taken.”

“Never stopped you before,” She purrs.

The words make me wince. She ain’t wrong.

“This time’s different.”

She pouts. “You sure about that? We always had a good time Jax.”

“Out.” I snap my fingers and point, and she huffs, tossing her hair over her shoulder as she stalks out.

I walk over, lock the door behind her and place my head against the door.

Sending away free pussy isn’t easy for any man. Especially when it’s a habit, but I’d cut my own arm off before I hurt Lee. She’d been betrayed enough to last a lifetime. Pushing away I head for the shower, wishing I could wash away my shady past as easily as I do the sweat and grime of the day. I let one heartbreak color my entire view on women, and now I had to pay for it, in the form of convincing my woman I could stay true to her.

***

“This is really nice,” Lee whispers as we walk up to Host/Hostess podium.

“Yeah, it is. I’m starting to think we might be missing out not getting out of Charming more often.” “Hah. Don’t let Gem here you say that.”

I smirk. “You know I’m smarter than that.”

The clientele makes me glad I left my colors at home and stepped up my attire. Blending in is an important skill to have, and while dressing up isn’t my thing I can do it when necessary. Lee’s little black dress and sky-high heels are worthy of a suit. The strapless number shows off her delectable collar bone and strong arms. I want to cover her in hickeys so any man would know in a glance she’s taken and well pleased. I find myself staring down anyone who looks for too long. I covet the shit that matters to me.

“Can I help you, sir?” The man in the black slacks, white button up, and black tie asks.

“Yeah, I have a reservation for Teller at seven.”

He opens his book and searches. “I see you here sir. Just one moment and I’ll show you back to your seat.”

I nod my head, wrap my arm around her waist and pull her to my side.

“I can’t believe you went through all this trouble for me.” The awe in her voice makes me feel like I’m on top of a mountain.

“Anything to see you smile, darling.”

She peers down, and a pink tinge appears on her cheeks. She’s got her walls down. It’s a beautiful sight because I know it doesn’t happen often.

“I want to believe that.” I tuck my finger under her chin tilting her face to look up at me.

“You should because I’m going to be spending my time proving it. You know I’ve never been an all talk kind of man.”

“I do know,” she whispers and I can’t help but peck her delicious looking lips.

We’re shown to our table, and I know mom must’ve pulled some strings because it’s a damn Chef’s table, set apart from the main room.

“Oh my God,” Lee whispers looking over the table.

“I know,” I say equally impressed.

The candle light flickering at the table paints her face in shadows. I’m lost in her eyes and in the moment. I’ve never done anything like this with a woman. It’s intimate and grown up as hell. What we’re doing isn’t playing at a relationship, it’s building a strong one.

We make small talk as we drink wine and eat food I can barely pronounce. I never imagined I’d be here doing this, but she looks right at home. It drives home just how unique my woman is; like a diamond made under pressure in the earth.

I reach across the table and take her hand, willing her to understand how much she means to me, even if she’s not ready for the words circling around in my brain.

I’ve been hit by lighting.

My eyes are opened, and my hurt is about to explode, yet I can’t say a word. It’s like having a secret too big to keep under wraps. My thoughts flash to Baby J. She’s a safe place. Once she comes back from her honeymoon, we’ll talk. I need help figuring out how to handle this. The last woman I gave myself completely panicked and bailed. That left a mark, and I refuse to watch Lee do the same. She’s a runner. Not physically, but mentally and emotionally. I can’t find myself on the wrong side of her walls. It would break me to lose all those years we’ve spent being each other’s best friends.

“What are you thinking about?” She asks as she scoops up a bite of Death by Chocolate.

“How lucky I am to be here with you like this right now.” I bring her hand toward my mouth, brushing her knuckles lightly with my lips.

She smiles and tilts her head. “Laying it on thick.”

“Being one-hundred percent real. The way we always are with each other.”

“I’m not used to this side of you.”

“What side?”

“This grown up serious side. It’s dangerous.”

“Why?” I ask.

“Because it makes me want things that scare me.”

“You’re not alone in that, babe. But we both know I’m good at getting what I want, and the way I see it, as long as we’re on the same page, that’s not a bad thing.” I shake my head and smile at her.

Her brow furrows. “And you think it’ll be that easy.”

“Not easy, but when you really want something, it doesn’t matter how far you have to go. It’s never too much.”

Her eyes widen, and I clear my throat. Time to shift topics. “So, what do you want to do next?”

“There’s more?”

“If you’re up for it. I know accountants keep early hours.”

She kicks my shin under the table, and I jerk laughing.

“Oh screw you, Jackson. I see I need to remind you where I come from.”

The fire in her eyes makes me grin.

“The let’s pay the bill and see what you got.”

“What are my options?” She asks, sounding more like a general preparing for war than a girlfriend on a date.

“Movies or dancing?”

“Oh, Teller. I’m going to mop the floor with you. You’ll be begging me to leave before the night is through.”

I toss a couple hundred on the table and stand ready for a night of grinding and debauchery with my woman.

#sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy fanfiction #Jax Teller #chibs telford #Mo Astor

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