#tumblr drabs

[kalelactually]

posting a merlin drabble here that i’ll never finish. arthur’s pov — sorry if this doesn’t make sense !! i’ve been staring at it for too long :)

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— and all my tears have been used up, on another love, another love —

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you look at him, and tremble with the weight it takes to keep secrets together.

you are a prince. you are used to secrets. secrets that are vital, that hide bodies of villages, arms of troops, and the beating heart of your city. secrets that mean, if exposed, you could lose everything your ancestors have worked for overnight. a beating heart, gone, in the blink of an eye.

but his secret, oh — his secret would destroy not your kingdom, but your world as you know it (with him in it.) and you can’t live with that. you know you can’t. and you don’t want to find out what it would be like to have to.

so you keep moving, and you stay blind, and pretend, and hope and hope and hope, that above all, he will stay safe. (that he will stay with you.)

——————

however, some part of you is always mad at him. you’ll look over and see his face, split in half with a grin, and get unbearably, irrationally angry. you’ll snap, and throw insults, and cut with your words, if not your actions — and you’ve never known why.

(you know why. it’s fear.)

——————

leon points it out to you one day, easy, simple, quick as breathing.

he tells you that you never seem to smile. and that shakes your mind.

you ask, confused and caught off guard, why he points it out. he shrugs, leaning on his staff, and stares off at your servant, your merlin, who is mock-battling with some kids. (and when have you ever not thought of him as yours? just as you know you’re his.)

“you haven’t smiled since we were children.” he holds up his hand, as if to stave off protests you’re already forming. “oh, you’ll grin, and you’ll smirk, but it’s sardonic. like you don’t truly find the humor in it; humor that everyone else seems to see.” he hums. “you’re jaded, a little bit.”

you immediately get defensive, the heat of your anger rising, as your throat tightens and almost chokes you up, strangely.

he shrugs again before you can answer, tilting his head towards your servant (your friend.) “but you smile when you’re with him.”

you sit back, dumbfounded, and remarkably exposed. (oh.)

——————

you think later that night, once you finally have some time to yourself, and realize that you can’t remember what your face looks like when it’s smiling. you haven’t felt laughter, or humor — let alone joy, not truly, for years — and you abruptly remember something your father said, once.

“joy is for peasants. it’s the only thing they can afford. it’s common, and it’s cheap — and as kings, as rulers, we have no use for something so easily obtained.”

you didn’t smile in his presence again, after that.

and that decision, one you can’t even remember making, has followed you up until now.

(until him.)

——————

you understand why you’re so angry, now. it’s not because joy is cheap, (like your father once claimed,) or below you, (like you were once taught.) it’s because for you, joy is rare — and you don’t know what it’s like.

you, a king, a prince, (a man, a boy, a kid,) don’t know what it’s like to feel joy. to feel … happy.

and then he came along, and burst into your life, with abhorrent manners and mismatched outfits (and a humble kind of wisdom you’ve never seen,) and shows you that something like happiness is there, and it is possible.

and you are scared.

you, who backs down at nothing. you, who has fought dragons, who has stared down the queen of the north, who bested knights at the age of five. you, who gained your father’s approval. (you, who has fought for the right to live since birth.) you sit back, and you realize, you are deeply, deeply scared.

and then you’re angry, and full of a white-hot rage, and then touch your face and feel tears slipping free without your consent. and you think you’re grieving, because you were never taught things that so many others seem to just know.

and you, you are the one who doesn’t know something so simple, so crucial. you don’t know what it’s like to feel, and you think, that’s unfair.

you also think distantly you’d rather face another dragon, or a horde of them. it’d be easier. those, at least you know how to face.

you don’t know how to fight an enemy, one without a body, or arms, or legs — one that is nothing more than just a feeling, a shadow, a futile grasp at something you don’t even know how to understand.

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hope someone on here enjoyed !! sorry for the abrupt ending :// someday i’ll learn how to post using the tumblr format but today is not that day <33

• character credits belong to bbc and bbc’s merlin. all works enclosed are solely my own, and are purely fictional and meant for the enjoyment of the reader. please do not repost, republish, or steal my works without explicit permission, otherwise you will be blocked and reported. ty !! •

[dalliansss]

10 First Lines

Tagged by @cuarthol

There is never a dull moment in Barad-dûr. - farther than the sun can see

Curufinwë Atarinkë feels the onset of the warmth of the sunlight, funneling as it does through one of the many, cleverly-engineered and crafted light tunnels of the underground realm of Nargothrond. - amaurëa

Captives in Angband knew who was coming to torment them.  - and treachery takes root

As he is wont to do, Finwe Noldoran gets to the council room in the palace at Tirion way before any of the Lords are allowed into the bright and airy chambers. - little sunshine

It was the rudest of treatments, in Turkafinwë’s opinion. - Along Came an Elf

“ Nargothrond ?” Maeglin blurted out, stopping brutally in the forging of his new gauntlets. “You wish for me to go to Nargothrond? For which purpose?” - Doom, Gloom and Maeglin co-written with @skaelds

It is always a busy day during Orgilion in High King Gil-galad’s court.  - in so many words

Egg, Aikanár, downed his goblet of wine moodily. - a wedding

Finwë thinks feebly that he should have listened to Náro. - truth

Fingon thinks of his long life so far, and he wonders if he was loved. - and he wonders if he was loved

Tagging: @elentarial @skaelds @goschatewabn @lvsifer @junk-whunk-punk-artist @melkors-big-tits @aotearoa20 @pearlescentpearl @eternal-fear

++ YOU. Yes, you.

[hautecouturehues]

[salamispots]

kinda interesting how from far away it looks kinda drab but the closer you get all the colors start popping out (at least when I'm trying to take photos hahah)

more wips

[macro-microcosm]

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MESSENGER BLOG COLORS

[endereies]

ENDEREIES' CHRISTMAS

Finally! It's fucking Christmas, cannot believe I didn't crash out just yet. To be honest, with a few more days left of the year I have all opportunity to do so. With it now being this festive holiday I thought it would be nice to give my mutuals a little bit of that festive cheer. I know not everyone celebrates Christmas so this won't be entirely Christmas themed, yet, it will be a cute little paragraph dedicated to a few of my mutuals or followed blogs. SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, I PRESENT ENDEREIES' CHRISTMAS!!

@phone4pills - I am on my way to wrap a wreath and ribbon around you and Robot!Chris' dick. On a serious note, you are so fucking talented and it blows my mind every time. The amount of thought and dedication that you put into your work is so admirable. I hope your holidays aren't as drab as this UK weather but nonetheless I'll be creating Robot!Chris as soon as possible (we are sharing custody). LOVE YOU AND YOUR WORK SO MUCH

@pasteldreams - OH MY FUCK, CAN WE TALK ABOUT YOUR MOODBOARDS FOR A MOMENT. I am so impressed by them all and if you see me stalking... no you don't! The images are perfect for each colour and you bet your ass that Avery and I were going feral on them. I'm so excited to read your fics when they surface. On my way to stalk the moodboards right now. But I love your moodboards and of course, the person who created them

@strnilolover - Gabby!!! Oh fuck I have too many things to say to you. You're so talented, I know I have yapped about your au's so many times but it's because they are STUNNING. They are produced so well. Everything you write is. When I am sent your works early, I am blown away. The descriptions, the dialogue, it is perfection on my screen. But all work aside, you're such a sweet person and I love talking to you every day. Even with our time differences, we still spend hours talking. Either about tumblr, fic ideas, edits or just random shit. In your post, you said you saw me as a bigger account and were slightly intimidated to talk to me BUT THATS HOW I FELT ABOUT YOUUU. I was in AWE over your work and the way you wrote (I still am) it's crazy to me how we are mutuals BUT I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK BABY

@hearts4werka - YOUR INBOX MESSAGES MAKE ME SMILE EVERY TIME. I know we don't interact as much as every fucking hour but when we do we have such nice conversations through our inboxes, I just wake up to a message from you and I am immediately smiling ear to ear. The first interaction was about my profile and the last was about seeing a biker look like Matt. Duality of friendship for SURE. Buying you merch bc yes.

@streamermattsgf - SAGEEEEEEEE We are fairly new mutuals and I thank Cece for showing me your account which then led to me seeing the Sturniolo Tumblr Awards. That idea was so sweet and creative and definitely brought the community together. I was even on there at one point which actually blows my mind but I digress. You're so sweet in everything you do, when there was hate about the awards you handled it in the most perfect way which I will always give credit for

@thenickgirl - MY FAVOURITE NICK ACCOUNT ON THIS APP YESSIR. Nick and Jalen are my babies, you cannot change my mind. Tumblr definitely lacks in Nick content and I will forever love yours. Everytime I'm drawing Nick or I see a tiktok, I immediately think of your account. AND YOU'RE SO KIND WHATTT ILY BBYYY I cannot wait to continue reading about Nick and Jalen as you post about them. I have to interact with you so much more than I do.

@lovesturni0l0s - ASTRIDDD I love you so so much and everything you do. We became mutuals and started talking quickly about random shit in our inboxes and they still make me giggle. They always end in appreciation too which is everything to me. I love yapping with you over random things hehehe. Your fluffmas is PERFECTION, I will always read every single one as soon as I see that it is released, just how you did on my NNN posts. You are SO supportive of everyone and it is truly so nice to see. I just want to talk with you whenever I can

@chrisweetheart - LIAAA We do NOT interact as much as I want to but whenever we do you're the kindest person everrr. Talking with you or reading your fics is always a highlight of my day. Your blog is so fucking pretty and I could admire it for hours, and I know you are the exact same. I am literally on my way with my basket of kisses.

@flouvela - My fucking bae. I've been following you for so long and when you followed me back I had a heart attack. Your writing is so cute and I love reading all of them. I still remember the one where Matt held your iced latte when it was cold outside so that you could stay warm. If she wasn't warm, my heart definitely was. You're so kind and thoughtful and definitely someone that I look up to within my writing.

@y3sterdaysproblem - Avery my baeeee I'm so so proud of what you have managed to accomplish this year. Your talent is actually so immense and anyone can see that in anything and everything that you post. Your series 'smoke and mirrors' still has me in a chokehold (I have read it 4 times). I cannot wait to see what you end up creating further along next year but just know I will support and love it all.

@chrislilcumslvt - Marls I will be forever thankful for you and your account. On anything that I post, whether it be a fic or me just yapping, I can always count on you to be one of the first people to like it. I will never get bored of your inbox messages, they are such a highlight of my week. LOVE YOU FOREVER

@issysh3ll - ISSYYYY MY AUSSIE GAL You will never fail to impress me LIKE OMGGG phases was and still is one of my favourite ever fics made in this fandom. It's so descriptive. educational which applying to the smut that this horny community love. I don't think I will ever get tired of your inbox messages, I always want to know how many wine glasses Chris can balance on his ass. If I ever have any questions I now know who to turn to

@sturnioz - CAS There are so many things about you that I could happily yap about lmao. My first introduction to you was a fic from the beginning of July, not that I even knew it then. Then your au's came along and it is safe to say I fell in love with everything you made. I am always drawn to your account and reread blurbs more times than I can count. When you followed me on your alt account I was giggling to my friends because I was stunned (I still am) I always wanna yap in your inbox but I never know what to say and lowkey I'm a little intimidated but I digress. You're so sweet whenever I am in your inbox and then I fangirl to Cece buttttt Love you and your work forever baby

@x0x0bunny - THE ONLY MUSIC ARTIST EVER, like you're talented in literally everything?? gimme some talent. And your fics are so so good. I'm so hyped to start talking about music production with you for my Producer!Chris au like it's so yummy you don't understand. I wish I interacted with you more and that shall be my new years resolution FOR SURE

@colorthecosmos444 - My big sister forever. Cece, you're literally everything to me ever. You're so kind, considerate, thoughtful and understanding at the same time. I will never get over our need for Emo!Matt, I am barking whenever he is mentioned. But I'd pick you over him any day. I love sharing my ideas with you and helping each other with everything. I WISH WE TALKED WHEN YOU WERE IN LONDON I'd rush to you in a heartbeat and show you everything. I could spend hours talking with you even if its 4am for me. Your work is perfection and no one can replace the true Emo Queen. Love you forever sis

@sturniolosiphone - AALIYAH MWAH You have the prettiest blog I ever did see and you give off the biggest Clairo vibes ever. You're work is PERFECT and no other word is fitting enough than pure perfection. Not to mention how cutsey you are when we interact with one another. You're so supportive and I will forever love talking about the triplets with you!

@missmimii - My inactive queen lol. When I first found your blog is the most heavenly thing I set my eyes on. The layout, the wording, the descriptions and such cute fics were and still are my roman empire. You are pure fucking honey and I still smile whenever your username is on my screen, it's so perfect. I will read your work so often and I will never ever get bored of it.

@55sturn - STAR one of my first mutuals on my account and I've been obsessed since day one. Your Loser!Chris x MeanGirl!Reader au is chiseled into my future gravestone so that I can read it after I die. The timeline and structure is just YES. You've been through a lot and I am forever proud of you. We may not interact a whole bunch but I love you dearly

@muwapsturniolo - PEACHESSSS It still shocks me how we are mutuals because you are the baddest bitch ever. You're like a celebrity role model to me and I'm just in awe. Not to mention how stunning your writing is, I could stare at my screen until my eyes burn just staring at your writing. LIKE I JUST LOVE YOU SO MUCH

@bernardsbendystraws - ROSEYYYFIGEDUHIJW MY DAY ONEEEEEE Baby you mean everything to me. Part of my Discord family that I cherish so much. I was honestly so intimidated by you when I met you on that server simply because of your energy. You seemed so confident and easy going which was something I could only dream of. And now we are friends and mutuals and someone I trust dearly. I will be forever proud of just how far you have come, with yourself, writing and followers. I'm forever grateful for our friendship in ways I wish I could show you. But I will always have your back in anything you do or have against you because you have done so much for me that is simply irreplaceable. We have also became so similar in how we speak which is hilarious to me as well. Love you forever and ever baby

@raysmayhem-72 - RAYYY Ugh where do I even begin. My fellow Londoner and yet we are yet to meet? That has to be fixed immediately. Talking to you is one of my favourite things ever and I love listening to you yap about books LIKE YESS LET ME SEE THOSE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS. You'll forever be my Discord family, you can't escape. Forever grateful for all the yummy conversations about everything and how willing you are to support and listen to me, it means more than you could ever know.

@pattyshome / @patscorner - PATTY CAKE You are so fucking special to me in every fucking way. Talking you is free therapy and I love you for it all. You've been through so much and every single time you still manage to have a smile on your face and continue to spread irreplaceable kindness that is too pure. Even in your current situation the efforts you make with your friends are so special. I'm so proud of you and I hope things ease up for you, I will move you to England if I have to

@bueckerrss - ARI MY EDITING PARTNER IN CRIMEEE Your edits are impeccable and your improvement is so clear to see. You've supported mine since day one and I'm so grateful for that. Even if ride or die was initially meant to be a collab with you and it wasn't, I still think of you whenever I read it again and it's now an au! Your performances are also just so satisfying to look LIKE YES POP OFF QUEEN. Another one of my day ones and I love you so fucking much.

[sillygoofyqueer]

Time for some thoughts on the heavenly aspects of heavenly crow demons!

I've gathered from readings various xianxia works that demon kind (Mó Zú, 魔族) and 'heart demons' (Xīn Mó, 心魔) are both called Mó (魔) because the two are intertwined. Demons are either 1) beings that succumbed to their own heart demons, 2) physical manifestations of the heart demons of individuals or people generally, 3) cosmic entities that foster heart demons in other people, or 4) decedents of other demons formed via the former methods. In other words, you don't get a demon without some sort of heart demon being associated with them!

In SVSSS, Heavenly Demons are very explicitly of the first category! They were heavenly beings, but "fell to depravity" and became demons, with the Zuiyin (罪印, Mark of Sin) being a physical manifestation of their fall from the heavens.

When Binghe's seal was broken, he was overcome with bloodlust and the "desire to inflict savage cruelty," which along with all their blood related powers, seems to indicate the major heart demon his Heavenly Demon bloodline suffers from is specifically bloodlust. I'd hazard a guess that a tendency towards anger, and perhaps the need for vengeance, may be manifestations of that heart demon too (succumbing to anger certainly makes Binghe's mark glow brighter and spread).

Thinking about the ex-Jinwu Heavenly Demon Crows, their particular heart demon should be related to vanity, pride, and carelessness. Depending on how you interpret the myth, they almost burned the world to ashes just to mess around, and perhaps be admired, so it seems fitting!

Based on this, Heavenly Demon Crows have a strong tendency towards luxury, pampering, and playing around. If they're trapped somewhere stuffy and boring, are forced to perform menial labors, or are in a sorry state where they don't get to show off their fine garments (or plumage) and sparkly jewelry to be admired, they tend to get quite irritated about it.

Speaking of jewelry, since Heavenly Demon Crows used to be pure gold, their current mostly 'drab' black appearance with only gold feather tips and a slightly gold sheen, is quite tragic to them. It contributes to their grand desire to cover themselves in glitter and gold to make up it!

Luckily for Shen Yuan, he unknowingly snags himself a man who will be thrilled to spoil him rotten, take him to interesting places, and cover him in all the gold and fine silks he could ever want!

First of all, the level of thought you've put into demons is admirable and I will never be able to think of anything else when I'm thinking about demons. Woarh...so many kinds of demons - all so fascinating...So, heavenly demons as once heavenly beings, which is just wild to think about - and the Zuiyin information!! I'm not afraid to admit that I'm very hopeless when it comes to things into this, so this is all information that I am chewing on quite gently THE VANITY, PRIDE AND CARELESSNESS SIN LINKING TO THE CROW DEMONS YES YES YES!!! The idea of Shen Yuan slowly falling for these typicalities within his bloodline, it's so so silly, the idea that he just randomly walks into his little nest home and realises that he's SURROUNDED by gold and glitter and shiny shit, and he's just like "....ohhhh. OHHHHHH-" I love the idea of a huffy Shen Yuan doing something to help out the locals (he loves helping the local villages, even if he hates doing work), and a couple of crows watching as he lugs along a cart of dirt and quietly bemoans the fact that anything shiny he has is thoroughly caked with dirt - he may be helpful, but he likes to be shiny :(( BINGHE GIVING HIM LITERALLY EVERYTHING HE COULD EVER WANT - He so much as LOOKS at something? It's immediately his. Immediately. I love this. I wish I could say more but this speaks for itself. (Check the crowyuan au tag on my Tumblr for more!! I'll probably answer a couple more asks about it tomorrow because I'm only on half a day of learning and I've got a few more interesting asks to blab about!! :D)

[dykeredhood]

Can’t believe that nobody’s put that scene from Peter Rabbit 2018 with Thomas McGregor angrily cleaning a bathroom while the Anvil Chorus plays in the background on the youtube

I can begrudgingly handle watching a movie w/James Corden voicing Peter Rabbit to see my husband

Thomas, what color are your eyes?

I need to go back through my General Hux playlist and curate it a little better, right now there are 2 versions of the Anvil Chorus on there and there are probably a few more Star Wars score tracks I could add

[prince-jjae]

Ceilings.

pairing; hueningkai/reader, taehyun/reader

tags; angst, mild fluff, mild smut [mdni!!!], poetic smut lol, barista!reader, barista!taehyun, jealousy, sorta maladaptive daydreaming, unhealthy coping mechanisms. lmk if i missed anything???

warnings!!!! vomiting, self-hatred, self-deprecating remarks and thoughts.

this is my first txt fanfic, and my first tumblr fic as well!! feedback is encouraged and appreciated. happy reading! title and general idea for the fic is based on the song ceilings by lizzie mcalpine.

Hyuka ending. Tyun ending. Masterlist.

summary;

"but its not real, and you dont exist. and i cant recall the last time i was kissed."

Life was easy, you were happy.. until you werent. come to think of it, had you ever truly been? now you cant even manage to get through your day without daydreaming of him. the perfect man. the one who would brighten your day, love you, save you. everything about him was perfect.

except for the fact he didnt exist.

You were cuddled up to him, thoughts swimming and keeping you perfectly dizzy as he played with your fingers. He was talking about something, rambling on about his day and what he was going to get up to in the next few weeks, but all you could focus on was the rumbling timbre of his voice, soothing your nerves like a balm. His breathing, his heartbeat, his scent, everything that made him so.. Him.

The rain battered softly against the window, but you didn’t mind. You sighed, content, head resting against his chest as you watched a race between two raindrops. You always loved dreary weather like this, as it gave you the perfect excuse to cuddle close to him and absorb his warmth. He was still mumbling into your hair, pressing kisses to the crown of your head every once in a while as if silently reminding you how much he adored you. You craved this more than air. He was sweeter than you could ever imagine, ever deserve. Nothing could take the fluttery feeling from your chest as your heart swooped and stuttered. You lifted your head to look up at him, stars in your ey-

The ringing of your phone snapped you out of your daydream. Your vision cleared as the sound jarred you back into reality, finally settling on the pillow you were cuddled against. You sighed, running your fingers through your hair in a way that tugged painfully at the knots there. You hissed but sat up, picking up your phone and holding it to your ear with a bored look on your face.

“What do you want?”

You busied yourself behind the counter of your job, moving through the motions of making coffee after coffee with practiced ease. This job was good for you, your friends decided. It allowed you to fall into an efficient routine, gave you something to stay busy with. Always moving, always working. You washed counters, mopped floors, stocked the fridges for your coworkers– anything to keep yourself busy and push the daydreams from your head.

It had been months of this. Day in, day out, dreaming of some handsome prince that with otherworldly beauty that would come save you from your mundane life. Maybe he would breathe life back into you, provide you with the spark you lost over the years.

..or did you even have it to begin with?

It started innocently enough, imagining what would like in a partner so you could finally begin opening yourself up to the idea. Being with another person had always been a terrifying idea. Letting someone so close? Allowing them to see you in all your drab, boring glory? You had counted yourself out, but your closest friend and coworker had slowly worn you down.

“Just make a list,” he had said, shrugging as if it was that easy. As if this wasnt world-crushing. “youve gotta start somewhere, right?”

And so you did. You listed every ideal thing your perfect partner could have or be. ..And then you started imagining what this perfect man would look like.. what he would sound like.. feel like-

Even now, when you were supposed to be hard at work as always, you found yourself getting distracted again, vision blurring around the edges as you made the 15th iced americano of the day.

What kind of coffee would he like? Would he like sweet things like you did? Would he like bitterness instead? It would make a nice contrast, you supposed.. you always had a sweet tooth when it came to drinks. What would his order b–

You were startled out of your thoughts as your name was sharply called. You jumped at the sound, looking down at your hands. Shit, the coffee you were making was ruined. You sighed, tossing the bitter liquid down the drain beside you before you began making a new one, completing it quickly and placing it on the counter for the customer to take.

You looked over your shoulder, frowning as you made eye-contact with your aforementioned coworker, who was watching you with sharp, judging eyes. Taehyun always knew when you fell into your fantasies, and it was beginning to get on his nerves. He grabbed your arm, tugging you back to the break room to fix you with a stern look, hands on his hips. You shrunk under his gaze.

“You're dreaming about him again, aren't you?” His words were cold as ice and straight to the point, something that you had once appreciated about him. But times like this, his straight-forwardness left much to be desired. You weren’t exactly soft either, a fellow tsundere, like your other coworkers used to call you. Taehyun always could see through you, though. Through the tough and cold exterior into the pool of softness that festered underneath.

You still flinched at his words, looking away as you adjusted your glasses on the bridge of your nose. They were dirty and smudged again, something Taehyun took notice of with a sigh. He plucked them from your face without a word and began cleaning them, glancing up at you as he did so to prompt your answer.

“It’s not like that.” You argued, slightly indignant. You couldn’t bear the thought of Taehyun seeing through you like glass. You couldn't bear the thought of anyone seeing through you.

Taehyun sighed, because he knew. He always knew, and it pissed you off to no end. “If it's ‘not like that’ then what the hell is it, huh?” He stepped closer, face steeled and calm as he placed the glasses back onto your face where they belonged.

And with that, you froze. Your pulse fluttered under your skin, and dread creeped up your throat. He couldn’t know. No one could know. You couldn't possibly tell him that not only had you indeed been fantasizing about your dream man, but you were beginning to have.. more involved daydreams. No, that was something he could never find out.

Taehyun watched the way you stiffened, eye twitching in irritation as he pushed past you to go back to work. All you could hear other than the shrill ringing in your ears were Taehyun's parting words;

“Just get back to work.”

The feeling of smooth silk and warm skin was the only thing you could think of. Plush lips and equally plush words, sweet nothings being whispered into your ear. You keened, brows furrowing as you arched into the feeling of fingertips brushing over your torso, making their intentions known as they slid lower, lower, lower still.

It drew a gasp from your lips, the fever rising under your clammy skin was slowly turning your mind to mush. He was so careful, so attentive to every little minute detail. He was perfect. Every detail about him from the fluffiness of his messy hair to the way his face would scrunch when he laughed, the sound ringing in your head like bells and just as clear. Even now, with his mouth pressing slow, saliva-slicked kisses to your skin, making you writhe under his touch, he was still perfect. He took your breath away with every movement. You found yourself becoming so lost in him that you couldn't find the line between you two– where one soul ended and the other began. Falling into pleasure with him was just as easy as breathing. Even the simple act of being near him set your soul alight, even with mundane tasks like laughing over a shitty movie, cooking easy meals together, dancing in the kitchen to your shared harmonies.

“Please–” Your voice was shaky and pleading, foreign to your own ears as your fingers clutched desperately at his arms. Your eyes watered, pretty tears clumping your lashes together in a way that made him coo down at you. You had the distinct feeling that you would surely explode if he wasn't the one holding you together with such an iron grip. The thought made a thrill pleasantly buzz under your heated skin, and you could feel his grin against your neck. What you were begging for, you hadn't a clue. All you knew was him. All you wanted was him. And gods above, you felt greedy. You needed more, more, more. Craved it, even.

You whined as he pulled away from your neck, looking down at you with the kindest eyes you'd ever have the pleasure of seeing. His mouth moved, words pillowy and full of promise, but you couldn't hear him. You never really could.

When you came down from your high with a long whine of his name, reality hit you like a bucket of ice water.

Huening Kai.

His name. You said his name. It rolled off your tongue like you were made to say it. Like the syllables were always meant to fall from your lips like a desperate prayer. A prayer to a god that didn't exist.

Saying his name suddenly made it feel real. Too real. Your stomach churned, making you lurch out of bed and scramble for the bathroom so you could empty your stomach into the porcelain. You hoped that with every obscene gag and whimper, that your dreams would be expelled, too. That you'd be free of this beautiful hell. Maybe then you could be normal.. perhaps even be loved for real.

It was later in the workday when you found yourself swaying on your feet. You hadn't gotten a wink of sleep, the gravity of your daydreams finally settling on you like a lead weight around your neck. You could only hope it would take you under the angry waves of your turbulent mental state.

It was sick, right? You were sick for this. Feeling so desperate and lonely that you would make up a whole boyfriend. A perfect, loving boyfriend. But none of it was real. He didn't exist, only in your twisted little brain. Had you really been so pathetically alone that you had to dream about being loved? Being wanted?

Taehyun caught your eye with a sideways glance, and you knew instantly that he knew. How was he so perceptive? How did he always know? Your shoulders sagged as you could assume how this would end. Sure enough, a few hours later when your lunch break rolled around, you found yourself being pulled along by Taehyun once again.

“What happened this time? These dreams are making you worse.” Taehyun frowned, eyebrows pinching together almost imperceptibly. You could see it. Just as he could see you, you could see him in turn. His concern was palpable, with the way his touch lingered on your shoulder before you shrugged it off. If it bothered Taehyun that you did this, he didn't show it.

“Look,” He leveled with you, sharp eyes meeting your own. You desperately wanted to run, something screamed in the back of your mind that this was too close. That everything was too close to you.. to the ugly truth you tried to shove down with all your might.

You were in love with a dream. Devastatingly, sickeningly, irrefutably in love.

“Something is seriously going on with you. Have you called any of those therapists I've sent? You've been looking like a shell of yourself for months now, but today you look like death fucking warmed.” His words always had a way of slicing right through you. ‘No use in sheltering you from the truth,’ as Taehyun would say. You pressed your lips into a thin line, tearing your gaze away from his.

“Gee, thanks. You really know how to make a person feel pretty, don't you?” You were deflecting. You knew it, Taehyun knew it. He groaned, grabbing your chin and tilting it so he could look into your eyes again. He wouldn't let you hide, you knew that. Still, you recoiled back out of his grip like it scalded you, but remained meeting his eyes as he wanted.

“I mean it. Tell me what's going on, now. You can't keep fantasizing about some made-up life with a made-up man-” But you cut him off hastily, so desperate to defend what little pride you had left that you couldn't even process what you were saying.

“Kai is just a dream, youre right. but I’m trying to get be-” You slapped a hand over your mouth, but the damage was done. The words had already been spoken.

Taehyun blanched, eyes widening a fraction in shock. His hands clenched into fists where they lay at his sides.

“...You named him?” Taehyun speaks carefully, words measured and precise, but you didn't miss the edge that skirted around the syllables. He was seething, and you knew it. You gnawed on your lip until metal filled your mouth, looking pointedly away from him. The floor was suddenly much more interesting than Taehyun's eerily silent rage.

Something dangerous swirled in his eyes, and the heat that rose to your face was dizzying. You felt so ashamed, rage rising in you over the sheer embarrassment you just threw yourself into.

“Just forget it, okay? I didn't mean it, it’s nothing-” But Taehyun was having none of it. His shocked expression was now schooled into something darker. Something angrier.

“Forget it? You expect me to forget that you've been spending every conscious and unconscious moment dreaming about someone who doesn't exist? It's nothing!?” He was seeing red. You thought, distantly, that this was the most you had gotten out of him before. You were stunned into your spot, cemented to the floor under Taehyun's anger.

“I'm sorry, I-” Again, you were being cut off by Taehyun retreating, irritation rolling off of him in waves as he pushed past you again, shoulder bumping harshly against your own.

“Get it together. Maybe someday you'll wake up and see what you've been missing out on, but I can't promise I'll still fuckin’ be here when you do.”

It was a few months later, and you were barely any better than you were in the wake of your argument with Taehyun. If you could even call it that. Your connection had almost entirely been severed, only feeling the weight of his stare whenever he thought you weren't paying attention. It made you shiver.

You tried so hard to listen to his warnings, that this would only make you more sick. You needed to wake up from your delusions and face reality. You were lonely, yes, but you could fix that if you took control of your own mind again. If you controlled your own life again. Taehyun was right, he was always right. This wasn't healthy in the slightest.

Now you were back to working regularly without fucking up. You were efficient as they were before this hell began, albeit a bit more hollow than normal. Your mind still tortured you, but you were strong enough to begin to push it away. These fantasies, these delusions were only a poison. You had to stop drinking it by the mouthful if you ever expected to be happy.

The bell above the front door of the cafe rang, signaling you had more work to do. You pulled yourself together, hearing the customer approach the counter. You didn't look up, opening up the order screen on the register before you.

“Hello, what can I get for you today?” You asked, a practiced and saccharine sweetness staining your voice.

“Ah.. could I just get a few egg tarts?” You blinked. That voice.. it itched something in the back of your mind, but you pushed it away. He was probably a regular customer. Nothing to get excited about.

“Sure thing,” You selected the requested items, head moving up to look at the customer with a pleasant customer-service brand smile on your lips. “What's the name for the order?” You hadn't quite looked at his face yet, just a quick glance to not seem rude. You weren't the best with eye-contact, anyway.

“Oh- Kai. Huening Kai.”

The pen fell from your hand, eyes snapping up to finally, finally meet the eyes of this stranger and any words you could have had in your mind died on your tongue. It was him. It was really him. Holy fuck.

“Everything okay?” He was so sweet. So perfect. He was everything you dreamed and then some. You swallowed thickly, nodding like a fucking idiot as you punched in his total in the machine.

“Yeah- yeah, your total is $10.25” You managed to squeak out, voice stunted and shaken. You felt like a flame in a hurricane, on the blink of blinking out of existence. You moved in a daze, grabbing his items and handing them to him after he paid. Your hands were shaking, and you swore your knees almost gave out when his fingers ghosted over your own, flashing you a warm smile that nearly ended you then and there.

You were blissfully unaware of the weight of Taehyun's gaze this time, and the anger behind it.

He knew. He always knew.

[anamazingangie]

your precious heart | Rupert x Taggie

🍋 Chapter One 🍋 Work In Progress 🍋 Rated E 🍋 By AmazingAngie 🍋

Tags: pining, idiots in love, falling in love, competency kink, rupert POV, older man/younger woman [tags to be updated]

Summary:

You’re old enough to be her father.  Once, those words had reminded him to keep his distance. But in this moment, he could only think; He was still young enough to make her a mother.  (And she was old enough to be his wife.) . or: Rupert cares more about what his heart wants than his friendship with Declan. 

Chapter Excerpt:

She wanted far less than she deserved. She simply wanted to be loved. And he wanted her to have what she deserved. He wasn’t sure he was what she deserved. (Fuck, he wished he was.)

🍋 Chapter One 🍋 Tumblr Post 🍋 Word Count: 2.9k

🍓 Chapter Two 🍓 Tumblr Post 🍓 Word Count: 4.3

🍋 oh, you're the only one that I'm dreamin' of 🍋

The words hit him harder than an open palm would have. 

They were not cruel words, not exactly. 

No, they were something much worse than that, in a way that had nothing to do with the accusation in his friend’s voice. 

You’re old enough to be her father. 

This wasn’t a mere accusation, this was a fact, and it was one that he couldn’t deny. 

Taggie was young, young enough that she could be the result of any number of his dalliances in university. 

This wasn’t lost on him, but, well, it didn’t really change things. 

You couldn't change the past, and from first impression alone he had been doomed to see Taggie O'hara as a prospect rather than a progeny of any sort. 

Though, in his defense, at the time she had been wearing nothing more than one of her father’s old shirts, the cuffs turned up and collar ratty. Her socks were a dreary grey, loose on her slender ankles, and only serving to emphasize the swaths of creamy legs that spanned between the drab wool covering her feet and the cotton skimming her thighs.

Then she had the nerve to bend over, her hands slotted into scorched mittens as she lifted a muffin pan from the ancient oven. The faint scent of blueberries and lemons mingled with the distinct sweetness of baked goods that no bottled perfume or bath oil could ever hope to replicate. 

It filled the entire kitchen with its fragrance, and the day was so humid he swore he could feel it settling on his skin and clinging to the hairs on his arm. 

It was a marvelous change from the stench of Maud’s perfume which had been far more intense and artificial than this, the bright, undeniably pleasant, and genuine scent of a woman’s baking. 

A beautiful woman’s baking, he noted, his eyes still fixated on the girl. 

He thought, rather immediately, that she seemed like a bright and genuine sort of girl, too—or at least she did now, she had seemed both nervous and miffed just a moment ago, when she introduced herself with some hesitance. 

Maud waved her away as being shy, but Rupert thought she looked afraid.

Rather like a deer caught in the headlights, her eyes darting from the strangers in the kitchen to the doorway, as if considering the possibility of escape. 

It was the timer that prompted her to stay— and bend over— and it was the following moment when she truly caught his interest. 

It wasn’t the scent or the fine pair of legs— though he was curious to see what sort of rump those thighs led to —it was her expression of all things that charmed him.

The fear and hesitance melted away in a flash, her lips curling into a soft smile as she looked down at her perfectly cooked confection.

The result of her baking efforts clearly brought her more comfort and satisfaction than his presence did— or her own mother’s, for that matter. 

Under other circumstances, he might be offended at her disinterest and failure to feed his well-earned ego that required near-constant maintenance from pretty things such as her. But at that moment, the offense didn’t even occur to him.

He was simply…charmed. 

Or he was, until Bas reached for the tray, snatching one and scalding himself on the tray in the process. He yelped, Maud screeched at Taggie, and the girl darted away while her mother all but seated herself in Bas’ lap under the guise of soothing his burn.

Bas was shameless, flirtatiously suggesting that her mouth could soothe it, but Rupert was too distracted to pay much mind to them. 

He found himself fixated on the door the girl had disappeared through. It seemed a pity how quickly her joy had faded, so quickly replaced with the shock, fear, devastation, and humiliation that crossed her face in a flash before she left.

It looked so wrong on someone so pretty, and that soft expression of happiness had looked so right. 

He wanted her to look at him like that.

It was rather like an itch beneath his skin, one he was content to ignore at the time. 

(He couldn’t ignore it for long, though.)

🍋

She reappeared in his life rather quickly, and with her presence came the now-familiar itch, though it was more persistent this time. 

He blamed the drink for his lack of restraint, even though he’d scarcely had a single sip of his wine. 

He was surprised by his behavior, he prided himself on being better than that, his actions born out of a mutual amorous desire rather than the lecherous abuse he’d seen his peers force upon women too young or afraid to say no. 

There was just…something about her, something that made his fingers reach for her bare thigh without a single thought beyond the fact they belonged there, they were meant to touch her, because he was meant to touch her.

He was so confident in this that he didn’t question the oddity of this desire.

For a single second, everything made sense, the smooth plane of her thigh beneath his calloused palm felt so correct that he didn’t even recognize the action for what it was until it was too late. 

(Until after everything, quite literally, came crashing down around him.)

He felt awful. 

Still, he couldn’t deny how badly he wanted to feel her again. 

🍋

He managed a few touches over the next handful of months. 

Her wrist, her ankle, her knee, though none were particularly sexual actions. 

For the first time in his life, he could ignore his carnal desires and prioritize someone else’s comfort above them. 

He may have thought of how soft her skin was, but his touch was intended to provide reassurance or comfort, and nothing beyond that. 

He had intended for things to stay that way, and fuck, he had tried. 

(He had failed.)

🍋

He wasn’t accustomed to failing, and so, he refused to acknowledge it. 

There was something between them, perhaps even love, but it wasn’t a sort of affection he could ever act upon. 

After all, he was old enough to be her father. 

And so, he did all he could to convince himself that if she were his daughter, that would be enough. 

It had to be. 

He simply had to treat her like one. 

It would be enough. 

(It wasn’t, not for him, and not for her, but he was a good liar.)

🍋

Rupert Campbell-Black was good at a great number of things, and especially good at knowing what women wanted. 

There were not any women where he boarded, but even as a schoolboy he had paid far more attention to his classmates than his reading assignments. The way he neglected his education had not been to his detriment, though, if anything it had taught him how to overcompensate for lack of knowledge through wit and charm alone. 

(Perhaps his family’s fortune had contributed to this, too, though he didn’t like to admit it.)

There was never any doubt of his intelligence when he spoke, and in life that mattered a great deal more than how well one tested on sums. 

How far he had gotten and how well-liked he had remained during his rise to fame had proved that both in his professional and personal life. 

He wasn’t sure if his talent at reading and speaking to those around him had predated his experience with women and was the cause for the ease with which he seduced them (and his talents at pleasing them in the process), or if it was born from his breadth of experience he’d garnered with the frequency in which he seduced them. 

Regardless of when he acquired this skill, the result was this: When he looked at a woman, he could see more than just her. He could see what she desired.

He couldn’t read her mind, of course not, but body language and expression, the choice of scent or gown, the effort put into makeup, and the lilt in her voice…

Poor at sums he may be, this all added up to something very obvious in his mind, even if they thought themselves coy. 

A relationship. Bragging rights. Curiosity. A good fuck. A feature in the tabloids. An engagement ring. An allowance. A brief chance at fame.

The motives were endless, and obvious they may be, at this point, he rarely paid much mind to the wants of the women who approached him—at least not beyond that night.

🍋

He wasn’t the sort to force a woman, but he wasn’t the type to follow up after, either. 

He was the sort of rake who prioritized his desires above their own. He was a generous lover, truly, but he would not compromise his happiness and life for the whims of a woman. 

(He had done that once before, and it resulted in a slew of affairs, a messy divorce, and his children being dragged to a flat in London.)

No, he would not compromise, he would not commit, but he might say just enough to suggest otherwise, simply because he wanted to get them into his bed.

He did not lie outright but rather gave them enough that they would lie to themselves. 

Because they wanted to believe he would love them, even if they knew he never would. They were simply too proud to admit they would settle for whatever scraps he was willing to provide. 

But they did. They always did. Unless they didn’t, a fact he would scarcely notice, since another girl would quickly take their place. 

🍋

His dear friend Bas liked to say he was a man who couldn’t be tied down, to which Rupert had smarmily responded, “Untrue, my ties have been wound around my wrists nearly as often as they decorate my neck!” 

The raucous laughter in response had made him grin, and what he said was true—he did not mind being bound by a woman for a romp, or for a night, but for life? He did not want that.

(Or at least, he didn’t think he did.)

🍋

When he met Agatha O’hara, something changed, because that was what she wanted.

No, not even, she didn’t see her worth—didn’t consider such a future and the potential of happiness that came with it.

She wanted far less than she deserved.

She simply wanted to be loved.

And he wanted her to have what she deserved.

He wasn’t sure he was what she deserved.

(Fuck, he wished he was.)

🍋

When Caitlin had first told him about the cause of her sister’s heartbreak, he’d been gobsmacked. What sort of fucking idiot would abandon their chance to be with Taggie? 

The curly-haired blonde who simpered on her beloved Ralphie’s arm couldn’t compare to Taggie at all. 

Taggie looked like an angel, cooked like one, and seemed to be sculpted by god himself into the perfect woman. 

(Into his perfect woman, at least.) 

When he met Ralphie face to face, he was all the more livid. So fucking angry that Taggie had wasted her affection on this snub-nosed boy who didn’t spare her a thought, her much less appreciate her with the intensity she deserved.

And fuck, why was that such a pattern in her life? Was everyone so dumb and blind to how special she was? 

Why was she blind to that? 

She wasn’t dumb, no matter what her mother claimed. She was so damned clever in so many ways. 

He wanted to tell her that, and he would have—if she hadn’t burst into tears the moment he stepped into the kitchen.

🍋

She looked all the more wretched up close—not ugly, but rather dreadful in a way explained entirely by her devastation. It was grand to a point where she couldn’t hide it, and the upset had left her eyes red-rimmed and cheeks swollen from her fingers pawing away neverending tears. 

Still, he could tell she was trying to hide it, and that made him angry, too. 

She shouldn’t have to hide it. She was just a girl. She should be allowed to fall apart and cry over a boy, even one who was undeserving of her. 

(Then, was any boy deserving of her, really?)

He thought that was the most tragic thing, not her unrequired love, not her sadness, but the fact she felt unable to share it—the fact she couldn’t trust anyone to listen to her worries or comfort her through them.

Fuck, she didn’t even feel capable of taking a moment to herself. Instead, she rubbed away her tears while slaving over producing a dinner for two hundred people without any assistance, too afraid to disappoint anyone to take a much-needed break. 

It wasn't just this boy who had failed her by not loving her, it was everyone, her father, mother, brother, and sister, all too distracted by their own lives to realize how desperate she was for a lick of attention.

Perhaps Taggie didn’t even realize how desperate she was. Or maybe she was afraid to, because what solution was there? She wasn’t the sort to demand attention, and if she was never freely given it, then she would never get it at all.

Fuck that thought was almost too awful for him to comprehend, and he felt the flames of hatred flare in his chest, directed towards everyone drunkenly partying just outside the doors of the kitchen, the poor duck's prison, one who was kept chained by her own kindness. 

And what did she get in return? 

From what he had seen, she go nothing.

It wasn't fair.

If the world wouldn’t give her the love and kindness she deserved and so clearly needed, then he could. 

He would. 

Or at least he wanted to. 

He realized that much, aware of his own desperation toward her. 

He wanted her to trust him, he wanted to listen to her, he wanted to comfort her. 

(And, on that night, he did.)

🍋

“I’ve ruined your shirt,” she said when she pulled away, sniffling and frowning at the mess of makeup and snot left behind on his shoulder.

“That’s alright, I have other shirts,” he promised, squeezing her hand to reassure her.

What wanted to say was: I only have one of you.

Then, he didn’t really have her at all, did he? 

(Fuck, he wished he did.)

🍋

He put her to bed. 

Nothing happened, not really, but what had happened—well, he was haunted by it, because now he knew too much. 

He knew what her bedroom looked like now, the scent of her that filled each corner of it, a light aroma of sugar and fabric softener and the soap she favored. 

He knew how her hair looked spread across her tatty pillowcase, a puddle of caramel spilled across cotton. 

He knew the heat of her cheek beneath his lips and the sight of her narrow shoulders framed by the neckline of an old-fashioned nightgown.

It was a hideous piece of flannel, but she was the prettiest thing he had ever seen. 

And there was so little of her. 

God, she was a dainty thing. Her legs may be long, but she was so slender. She worked too hard and didn’t eat enough, thinking of others so often that she forgot to think of herself. 

He thought of little else these days, or so it seemed. 

She had such a big presence in his mind that it was easy to forget how small she truly was She needed to be handled carefully, but more than that, she simply needed to be handled often.

His thumb dragged down her neck, her skin the color of cream, bringing his thoughts back to the kitchen just a few days prior, while he watched her make a delicious béchamel. 

She fussed over it for a quarter of an hour, swatting his offers to help away and claiming it was too much effort—yet she was willing to expend it, just unwilling to assign it to someone else. 

“Some things taste better when you take your time.” She said in response to his exaggerated look at his watch, the third one in the last three minutes. Her gaze was fixed on the bubbling saucepan, pointedly ignoring him and his theatrics.

“A watched pot never boils but a neglected one burns .” He noted. 

(Which was worse, he wondered? Uncooked or burned, either way, it would be inedible.) 

Taggie frowned, “I’ve never burned a sauce.”

Of course, she hadn’t. She was too kind to let anything suffer the way she had. 

It had hit him then, as he looked at her creased brow, that with how thoughtful and careful she was, she would be the most wonderful mother. 

Fuck, he had never thought that about a woman before. 

He’d thought about about girls being a good fuck hundreds—perhaps even thousands of times. With Taggie, he had even thought about her being a wonderful wife. But this? This was new—that desire was new to him. 

He blinked himself back into the present, meeting her tired eyes, which were full of that softness he had longed for all those months ago. An expression she once reserved for her baking, she now gifted upon him, too. 

But suddenly that wasn’t enough anymore, he wanted to see her looking at their child like that while she cradled them. 

He closed his eyes, reminding him again of his friend's words—

You’re old enough to be her father. 

Once, those had reminded him to keep his distance. But now, in this moment…he could only think that;

He was still young enough to make her a mother. 

(And she was old enough to be his wife.) 🍋

[kalelactually]

501st drabble that i’ll never finish. written from echo’s pov; living without fives. :(

——————————————————————————————————————————————

— and i can feel the warning signs (running around my mind) —

——————————————————————————————————————————————

and you hear the echoes around you ring out, five pings for every one of your sins;

one for war,

two for cruelty,

three for injustice,

four for ignorance,

five for death.

five. it repeats itself over and over in your head, ricocheting off the walls as you hide and cover your ears….. you crouch there and long for the quiet, with a fervor born of bitterness.

you wish to silence the voice forever; but to achieve that, you would be forced to silence his as collateral— and that is a weight you are not willing to bear.

over the shots of blasters, the creaking of tanks, the cries of the dying and the yells of the living, you sigh as the ever-present hum of lightsabers glow in the forefront of your mind, everything laid against the backdrop of explosions and dust; and in the safety of your helmet, the world stills: you hear him, and you ache with the loss.

sometimes you think he would hate you, hate what you’ve become. still, you try and try all the time, and for all the faces you could not save, and the hands you could not hold, there are a few you could.

and that’s what matters. fighting back, taking one more step, pushing that ground just a little bit more; every day you challenge the ideal that you are worthless, that you mean nothing; and you grin.

you thunder on; his presence a steady rhythm in your heartbeat you can’t shake, his words echoing in your thoughts as fire burns and explosions sound;

one,

two,

three,

four,

and you are reminded:

it’s always in fives.

——————————————————————————————————————————————

i wake up and miss them everyday. in my head they’re together and happy and alive, causing problems for rex <33 hope someone enjoyed !!

• character credits belong to disney and the star wars franchise. all works enclosed are solely my own, and are purely fictional and meant for the enjoyment of the reader. please do not repost, republish, or steal my works without explicit permission, otherwise you will be blocked and reported. ty !! •

[admiral-mason]

pspspspspsps hi uhhh first time requesting umumumumum

Sagau but reader have played WonderEnd 0 (my current hyperfixation aaaaaaaaa), favorite/chosen ending is the bad ending. NULLan and the phantasmas will not hesitate to not only help reader escape, but also torment reader's tormentors psyche. NULLan may or may not turn half of the population into phantasmas lmao (can also include entities from the abyss and the hilichurls :3 ).

I watched some gameplay of WonderEnd 0 prior to this (here's a link to a playlist of no commentary gameplay), and, uh...

Damn the game is messed up, I won't spoil anything but the protagonist is highly tormented in the series, with one of the endings leading to downright su!c!de (if you can decipher that word)

Thankfully, this individual is focusing on the other ending. Which is better for our protagonist (he gets to live), but probably bad for everyone else...

Anyways, onwards!

Warning: Torture

You never knew you would ever see this place.

Teyvat, despite its lack of technological advances compared to the current era, resembled a dream world with its depictions of bygone eras of human history mixed with unnatural forces compared to the drab, destruction-plagued era Earth underwent in the past few centuries.

Genshin Impact, for its luck-intensive gacha game nature, obtained a spot in your mind as a game for reprisal. When you required space to get away from the necessities of life, the game helped you escape responsibilities for a little bit longer.

Then you decided to explore the fandom via the internet and descended upon a relatively unknown branch of Genshin, known as SAGAU. Delving into the primarily Tumblr-centralized works, you found it interesting to become the average Isekai protagonist among Teyvat.

Maybe you would tell everyone to stop calling you 'Your Grace' or some other holy title like that. You are but a regular human after all. Aside from that, maybe it wouldn't be so bad to play the role of a divine god capable of creating Teyvat.

And you did get a chance to play that role...

But you never expected it to be like this.

You don't recall how much time has passed ever since you arrived.

Upon stepping foot into Mondstadt, the nation of freedom, you were branded an impostor, a fraud, a heretic, any term for one pretending to be another just like in those Impostor AU Tumblr works.

Everyone was against you; the Knights of Favonius, Diluc, Mona, they just apparently decided that you're a fucking con artist for simply existing. If you knew this would come to you before, you would have deleted the game and moved on with your life.

Unfortunately, those were past events and you needed to run at that moment. Never in your life had you run like an athlete, hell you never required such a physical-minded body. But anything less would result in cuts by a sword or an arrow landing in your back, so you ran.

Thankfully, not all sought to see you dead; Hilichurls, Abyssal beings, and animals assisted you throughout the rampaging hunt. From bringing you food or resuscitating your stamina to providing you weapons, you found unlikely companionship among these normally hostile enemies.

Their efforts helped you reach Liyue, although unfortunately they too decided that you were a fraud attempting to deceive Teyvat for their own gain. Having the Millelith, the Liyue Qixing, and the Adepti all working together against you was definitely not fun for you. However, it was here that someone or something else decided to help you.

One time, a few Millelith guards had you cornered in Liyue Harbor, and Ningguang herself approached you.

"I must say you are very persistent in your perseverance against our efforts to capture you. But alas, I believe your journey ends here. Don't make this any harder than we want now."

And then it happened.

You saw your vision glitch like a computer suffering errors for a split second. And then, a figure dressed in black clothing stood between you and your pursuers. They pulled out a glowing and glitching yellow slip of paper.

They let it go and it floated above them, before glowing brighter and glitching your vision again for another second. After that, the figure still stood in its position, but everyone else lay on the floor. You blinked once in that moment and the figure disappeared. Wasting no more time, you escaped, surviving to live another day.

The same thing occurred in all the other nations. In Inazuma, the figure saved you from the Raiden Shogun's Musou no Hitotachi. However, this time the sky's color changed from night blue to blood red, with what appeared to be a giant eye with even smaller eyes surrounding it, with a ring of geometric shapes surrounding them. Akin to the encounter in Liyue, the abnormalities dissipated as quickly as they appeared.

In Sumeru, it was what appeared to be a stringed puppet with the appearance of a woman. She stood before you, holding you akin to a mother with her child. Her eyes were devoid of features, yet her lips formed a smile that radiated sweet dreams.

Fontaine and Natlan were the same; in Fontaine, the figure was accompanied by a group of strange spider-like creatures with a body akin to a bee, while in Natlan they were accompanied by a tall, lanky humanoid figure. Said figure had red eyes, a larger head, black holes with white dots covering the said head, and an unnerving grin that held no hostility to you.

You didn't even bother with Snezhnaya, since the nation wasn't even released yet and you didn't want to bother risking trekking into unknown territory. Thus, after all the chasing and abnormal encounters, you decided to simply rest at a Hilichurl camp in a forest and head to sleep.

"Hey, can you hear me?"

A soft male voice woke you from your slumber, and you immediately noticed something wrong with your environment.

It's not a forest at all, hell you doubt this is even Teyvat anymore. Instead, you awoke in a dark environment surrounded by dark figures with glowing white dots for eyes. Others had a singular, multicolored eye with bunny-like bodies.

And above all of them was a seriously massive black eye with red markings, angel wings, and a binary halo.

You also noticed something about your positioning.

You are upright in someone's lap. A very very comfortable lap at that.

Looking up, you saw a familiar face with black hair, a black halo, and two purple eyes, the left one glowing.

"...Holy shit Alan??" You said, mostly bewildered but also slightly exhausted (you just woke up after all). Alan simply smiled in response.

He chuckled a little before gently stroking your hair. "Hi again, graceful player. I never thought I'd see you again after you... got lost in this world, but it didn't take me too much work to end up here."

You picked up WonderEnd 0 a few days before the moment you were involuntarily thrust into Teyvat. Safe to say, you could tell that Alan was a cinnamon roll that the game just likes to fuck over in every single way possible. The "good ending" horrified you, and the "bad ending" made you a little uneasy. You definitely preferred the latter ending a lot more though.

The Alan you're seeing here is clearly the bad ending one, although his expression isn't one of cold-heartedness and snark, but rather a gentle one you saw akin to that of the puppet.

You had to ask him something. "Are you the one who-"

"Before you ask, yes. I was the one who assisted you along with the Phantasmas. I will not stand by while the one who guided me in times of distress is subjected to unjust subjugation by religious fanatics."

"Yeah, as if you could do it by yourself, Alan."

Someone else then appeared beside you two. They looked like Alan before the bad ending but with a halo, and their voice was deeper than Alan's.

"Is that Null?" You asked, and they responded. "Yes, you're right, player. I am Null, AKA the computer virus that helped Alan ascend to my level."

"Shut up Null, you are cringe," Alan responded with a smirk. Null's face then morphed into one of agitation.

"I AM NOT CRINGE!!!" Null yelled, but Alan kept going. "Says the one who requires a human body to even use their full power. Couldn't be me."

"GRRRRRRRR ALAN I AM GOING TO KILL YOU AND KILL YOU FOR THAT!"

You laughed a little at the little discourse between the two, and both of them turned to you. "What?" You asked, slightly clueless to your actions.

"...Protect the cinnamon roll of a player?"

"Protect the cinnamon roll of a player, Null."

Meanwhile, oblivious to you, your tormentors have become the tormented.

Everyone who dared even possess the mere thought of attacking or killing you suffered terrible nightmares, ranging from wandering in a long hallway with featureless human-like figures to attempting to dodge monsters filled with devices no one understood.

The Knights of Favonius frantically attempt to utilize a box-like device and are slaughtered by a disfigured blue mass.

The Millelith, Qixing, and Adepti painfully attempt to navigate the never-ending hallways while being chased down by a pale-skinned man in a suit with a black, featureless head.

The Raiden Shogun and her Shogunate army must painfully stand still akin to mannequins under the watchful and menacing gaze of the Eye.

The Akademiya struggle to play a never-ending song for a stringed woman who never suffers any form of physical abuse.

The Maison Gardiennage question their motives of justice as they are slaughtered by four-legged bee-like creatures, only to be revived once again to endure further suffering.

And the champions of war are merciless to a being with the grip strength of the moon's density as it crushes their skulls.

Teyvat had tried to deprive both Alan and Null of their player, and it will burn, bleed, but most importantly, suffer.

General Headcanons

Alan and Null bicker on the frequent, and it's funny to hear them do so when they decide to explore humanity's current slang.

"I HAVE MORE SKIBIDI RIZZ THAN YOU ALAN!" - Null

"Shut up Null, your looks are so downright atrocious that even Ohio wouldn't permit you entry" - Alan

"Both of you SHUT UP-" - You

One day, Alan decided to try something new with his nightmares.

"Hey [Name!] Want to see my idea for a nightmare?"

"Huh? Sure!"

So Alan opens up a little portal and...

"SKIBIDI DOP DOP DOP YES YES"

"WHAT THE FUCK ALAN"

When you're not in the dreamscape with the two, you simply hang around with the wild creatures of Teyvat.

Eventually, Alan decided to manifest himself in your world, and thankfully you managed to convince everyone that Alan was friendly you let him lay on your lap to prove it

He and Null help enhance the strength and intimidation factor of Hilichurls, Abyss Mages, and Abyss Lectors. All of a sudden, aside from the constant nightmares plaguing the lands, Teyvat suddenly finds itself encountering stronger and stronger enemies by the day.

They also get creepier designs too. Hilichurls now have soulless fake eyes, Abyss Mages wear disfigured costumes, etc.

However, when it's just you three, and Alan and Null aren't bickering, it's just a relaxing time.

You have not one, but two cinnamon rolls that you just get to cuddle akin to teddy bears. With smiles of contentment.

Overall, you're in heaven, and Teyvat is in hell :)

@a-star-intheabyss enjoy watching everyone suffer nightmares

And also sorry for the last part lmfao

[kels-valley-blog]

one tries to fly away: a cringefail farmer x harvey fic

first time posting fic on tumblr, so not sure what i'm supposed to be doing :D anyway i was possessed this afternoon and wrote this fic featuring @clarisinne's cringefail farmer and harvey. i liberally mixed metaphors in this fic, which i am not sorry for in the slightest.

crossposted on ao3--please enjoy!

---

Harvey divided his life in two, in much the same way a historian splits history. For the historian, the ages are separated by the death of a Galilean man. For Harvey, there was before and after her.

For both Harvey and historian, time was reckoned by the coming of a savior.

He didn’t recognize her as such right away, partly because he wasn’t entirely aware of his own misery. He knew he was sad, sure, and he distantly felt the years piling up on his shoulders. But these feelings were familiar, and he had long since stopped noticing them. He didn’t remember a time when loneliness hadn’t been his faithful companion.

(A bird born in a cage does not miss the sky.)

Harvey, for his part, had made quite the comfortable life for himself in his cage. He’d decorated it with the few joys and achievements he had. The iron wires that wrapped around his life were predictable and study. Most days, he forgot to miss his long-dead dream of flight.

She had entered his life like a fireball, a meteor burning bright against his sky. Out of control, she hurtled from the heavens, crashing against his comfortable imprisonment and crushing some of the cage bars quite badly. She disturbed him.

He wasn’t sure how he felt about being disturbed.

He had seen her, fluttering around the town, bumping into everything and always popping back up with a flushed smile. She drew his eye—a spot of color against the dark and drab world. When she burst into the clinic, braids flying and eyes bright, he had no choice but to let her in.

(Looking back, that had been the moment when his life shifted from one age to the next.)

And she was clumsy, and loud, and she seemed to slam doors more often than not, and she rattled Harvey’s world in a way that no one had before. She dragged herself into the clinic at all hours, nursing all manner of cuts and bruises and broken bones. She brought him jars of pickles and lukewarm coffee carried from the farm, and sometimes the crushed remains of a plant she’d foraged on the walk into town and shoved in her pocket. And she was kind, and earnest, and lord she was cute sometimes, and—

And oh.

That feeling was new.

(A breeze blew through the bars of the cage.)

But he didn’t get ahead of himself. He was nothing like her—he would never be. She was, quintessentially, free, and he would always be held down by something: his job, his eyesight, his own fear. What use did a skylark like her have for someone as leaden as him? 

She did not seem to care about the weight on his shoulders—or perhaps she was just not aware of it. Maybe she hadn’t yet realized that this heaviness he carried was as much a part of him as his hands or his heart, and that he would never be able to join her in her carefree life.

Well. He would enjoy this for as long as he could, anyway. It was nice to have some fresh air, after all this time. For now, he would just be as good of a friend as he could manage—try to smile at her, try to keep her from dying in the mines, try to listen when she spoke. (These weren’t hard tasks at all—with the possible exception of keeping her from dying. That proved surprisingly difficult.)

And everything was nice, once again: a status quo, maintained. Harvey knew where he stood with her. He had been lonely for so long that this new type of heartache could blend in easily enough. He was fine. He just wanted to help her, wanted to double-check that she hadn’t hit her head in the mines, wanted to make sure she didn’t have any brain injuries—

She told him that she liked him. She ran away.

(The door to the cage cracked open, just a bit.)

And they didn’t fall in love right away, which didn’t surprise him—but she didn’t realize her mistake either, which did. She was just as awkward in courtship as she had been in every other aspect of her life, and she still carried with her that wild energy that always made his heart beat a little faster. What was a man supposed to expect from someone like her? How could he predict the way the wind would turn next?

They went on a date, and she fumbled over her words. She looked at him, sometimes, like he was worthwhile, and that made him feel all sorts of funny—like he was tumbling from a great height and wasn’t quite sure when he would land. 

He quite deliberately didn’t let his mind wander to their future—the worst thing he could get right now was false hope. For all he knew, she would soon come to him, tell him that she was sorry, but he was just too boring and sad and cloistered, and she had a whole life ahead of her. She would fly away, and he would stay here.

Then she tackled him, and she crushed a bouquet into his arms. She choked out a half of a garbled question and then promptly hurled into the grass beside him.

Well. If Harvey hadn’t been in love before, he certainly was now.

And that was the feeling, wasn’t it? That creeping sensation of warmth that had plagued him for months now. It was love, plain and simple. He was so unused to it that it had been hard to identify. And yet, there it was, stubbornly spreading its wings.

(For the first time in a long time, he let himself look beyond the bars that surrounded him.)

She hovered there, nervously within reach and clearly fighting the urge to run away. And yet he dared to hope that she might truly feel the same—that she might love him, in her way. That perhaps, she was just as scared as he was.  She didn’t know it, of course, but she had been the first one to truly reach out to him in so long—that freckled, calloused hand held out like a lifeline, to pull him up out of the fog that hung near the ground. 

He was frightened, sometimes, by the sheer intensity of his feelings. It was a lot for a man to handle, especially one like him, unaccustomed to how happiness felt. The brightness blinded him sometimes. 

He wouldn’t trade it for the world.

By this point, he had recognized her for what she was, and understood that nothing was going to be the same from this point out. Even if she did decide that it was all over, he would be better for having known her. He wouldn’t be able to go back to the cold metal of his containment, not knowing that there was a whole world just beyond. 

And then, in the absurd twist that he should have come to expect from his life, she took it into her head that he was leaving her (as if he wasn’t head over heels for her, as if he hadn’t been for months.) She poured out a litany of fears and insecurities, a deluge of pent-up pain that didn’t give him a chance to speak against the onslaught. She stood toe to toe with him, and she challenged him to tell her exactly how he felt.

He answered with his lips against hers.

(The cage shattered around him when she kissed him back.)

Harvey soared.

fin

[agbpaints]

Here's a quick and dirty tutorial for the weathered olive drab scheme I used for the Awesome 9Q. This scheme looks great on the table and uses fairly basic weathering techniques that mean it doesn't take very long to paint! I use it here for 6mm scale mecha and vehicles for Battletech but this could easily be adapted for Imperial Guard or Raptors for 40k or any other military olive drab wargaming scheme.

Paints I used:

Feel free to substitute any of these based on brand and availability- I just used whatever I had around my desk.

Citadel Deathworld Forest (dark olive)

Citadel Mechanicus Standard Grey (medium grey)

Citadel Zandri Dust (khaki)

Citadel Driad Bark (dark brown)

Citadel Mournfang Brown (rich brown)

Citadel Elysian Green (light olive)

Citadel Dawnstone (light grey)

Citadel Seraphim Sepia (sepia wash)

Citadel Drakenhoff Nightshade (dark blue wash)

Citadel Contrast Snakebite Leather (brown ink wash)

Citadel Lamian Medium (thinning medium)

Army Painter Matt Black (black)

Begin by base coating all of the armor of your model with deathworld green and all of the mechanical parts like tracks, weapons, and other machinery with mechanicus standard grey. These are going to be the primary midtones of the model so make sure you get a solid and smooth color with multiple thinned coats of paint. Then, apply a sepia tone wash to the green parts of the model and a blue tone wash to the grey parts. You can see I also added some zandri dust to the sand base I gave this model in between steps here

Once the washes are dry, we can move on to the secret sauce that makes this scheme sing. Thin down a dark brown paint like dryad bark with 2 or 3 parts water for every one part paint, and then using a small brush carefully paint this thin brown into all of the exposed crevices and recesses of the green armor. You should be able to easily correct mistakes by dabbing up any paint you get on the flat panels with a dry paper towel but you can also leave some of these mistakes for later as it can help us with weathering. Leave the brown to dry, and then return to apply a drybrush of dawnstone to all of the mechanical parts of the model and a drybrush of elysian green to the green parts. If you want to stop here, you can paint the cockpit, throw a wash on the ground texture, rim the base, and have a fully battle ready 3-color paint scheme that looks great and has a complex green olive drab.

If you do want to continue, lets move on to some basic chipping and weathering techniques. Remember those mistakes I mentioned in the step with the brown? We're gonna turn those into chips in the paint. If you have any little lines or splotches of brown on the armor panels, go in with some of your elysian green and draw a thin line of your green highlight underneath the brown. This will create a fast faux 3-d chipping effect that adds visual intrest to the model up close. If you don't have many existing brown bits on your panels, always feel free to go back and add some more extra little thin brown lines and splotches to the mini for more chips, though keep it a bit conservative- I find 1 or 2 at most per panel is fine, more will it look like you've been driving behind an unsecured gravel truck.

You might notice I'm also painting the glass for the cannon view port and driver's compartment on the vedette and adding snakebite leather contrast to the sand base at the same time. I won't go into detail on that in this tutorial (tumblr's got a dumb image limit I'm butting against) but if anyone's interested I can write seperately on my process for doing canopy glass!

Now we have some simple grime techniques to finish the model. To add a wet mud effect to the tank, mix 1 part of a rich brown color like mournfang brown to 1 part thinning medium. Add a small ammount to a brush and paint it around the bottom parts of the model, focusing on recesses and where the model would contact the ground. Use a paper towel to dab up any excess that collects on the flats and panels- a little is fine but you still want to see the green underneath.

To tie the mud and the base into the model, drybrush the base and the areas you applied the wet mud effect with some zandri dust as 'dried mud'. Again, you want the browns and greens beneath to still be mostly visible but you want a bit of dusty khaki over top. Because dust gets kicked up higher than mud, make sure this effect goes higher than the wet mud. Finally, add some black to the insides of the gun barrels and rim the base in your favorite colors.

And there you have it- a basic green drab armor scheme with some extra weathering and chipping steps to take it to the next level. Use this for basic generic grunt units or militaristic factions you want to have a grimy and subdued appearance!

[yellowbunnydreams]

Mechanised Devotion (Part 1) ~Steve Raglan/William Afton x Female Reader~

~ Please be nice to me, this is my first time writing fanfiction in a while and honestly have just been experiencing the phenomena that is Matthew Lillard as William Afton. Also, first time posting on tumblr! Also thinking of making this a multi-part series, so feedback is really appreciated!~

CW: Minors DNI, (18+ ONLY), afab reader, legal age gap (Reader- 20's, William - 40's), mention of crimes and violence, blood, mentions of child death (it's FNAF, what did you expect?), past trauma; abusive relationships.

When it had been suggested by your previous manager that you should see a career counsellor, you had thought it was a funny joke. You had laughed at the idea of something such as going to see another human being who's job was solely to tell you what jobs you were good and qualified for.

Until the paperwork had been handed over in an unsealed manila envelope letting you know that you had been terminated.

Unemployment had hit you like a truck, but without the pay-out that might have come from the trucking company. Filing paperwork to try and get even a few dollars a week to survive and contribute towards your house-share whilst already struggling to try and push through college had fallen by the wayside and you had been hitting the pavement both physically and online to try and find your next job.

That perfect one that was sure to turn up the next day, or maybe the next week.

But as somewhat expected, that moment had never arrived and neither did that job. So it was with great reluctance that you found yourself in a drab beige building with the occasional sound of human misery making the area feel like anybody was left alive in the room despite the faint clicking of the keyboard from the receptionist.

'Would it have killed them to put a small plant or something in the room?' You found yourself thinking as you looked around, almost missing the gesture from the receptionist lady who scowled over her glasses at you and handed you a slip of paper.

"Your councillor will see you down the hall, third door on the left."

"Thanks ma'am." your voice was quiet, and the woman scoffed before shooing you away with her somewhat ridiculously long nails. You wondered how she managed to do anything with them, but your thoughts quickly turned to the office you were supposed to find as you set off quickly down the hall.

The walls were beige, the floors were beige and you were minorly impressed that they had found somewhat beige doors as you moved down the hall cautiously. But the door you needed seemed almost comically like an old episode of Scooby-Doo where it was easy to tell what object was going to be interacted with due to the significantly different colours and quality of drawing. For some reason, the one door you needed was a nice deep wooden colour, although you seriously doubted it was real wood in a place like this. It took you a moment to breathe deeply, steeling your nerves and running your hand through your hair to tidy it up a bit, hand smoothing down your skirt before reaching up and knocking.

There was sound of shuffling from inside before a smooth, warm voice that came from inside though slightly muffled. "Come on in!"

Entering slowly, you blinked as you spotted a man sat at the desk infront of you, his hair peppered with greys despite being a cool brown colour and his slightly gaunt face adorned with greying stubble. Glasses perched on the end of his nose, which he looked over the rim of to see you before reaching up and pushing them back onto his face with his index finger, standing up with a warm, lopsided smile. What surprised you next was how tall he was. The guy was easily over six feet tall, and you felt dwarfed by his sheer size, broad shoulders accentuated by a neat by rumpled beige plaid shirt and a neatly knotted tie.

"You're my new client right? Come on in! Sit, sit!" he gestured to the cracked plastic chair opposite the desk with a large hand before extending it to shake your own, hand engulfing yours and allowing you to feel how rough and calloused they were compared to your own.

'How does an office worker get such rough hands?' you wondered as you took a seat, hands automatically tucking your skirt underneath you as you sat in the hard plastic chair. Blushing as you felt the man's grey eyes wandering over your appearance with something akin to disinterested amusement before he opened a folder and made a humming noise as he scanned it.

It allowed you to look around his office, noticing several framed diplomas on the walls, surprised by the amount of colour in the room with the warm wooden bookcase and even the occasional muted purplish-blue folder dotted amongst the shelves. You noted his room smelt like coffee, both freshly brewed and stale grounds somehow, a faint smell of smoke and cologne. Sniffing quietly, you wondered if perhaps the person who had sat there before you had been a smoker and worn some cologne to try and impress. But you supposed that you had gotten dressed up yourself despite your scuffed up converse ruining the somewhat ill-fitting blouse and skirt giving some illusion of professionalism.

"So, what are we going to do with you?" His voice made you jump as you suddenly snapped your attention back to him. Heart pounding as you blushed, realising as he tilted his head slightly to one side that he had caught you off-guard and slightly snooping.

"Pardon sir?" You asked, swallowing softly as you met his gaze for a moment before you looked down at your hands again. Picking slightly at your nails and more specifically the pale blush nail polish you had hastily tried to apply yourself that morning to hide the fact that you bit your nails. He paused before sighing and leaning forwards onto his elbows, chin resting on his hands as he gave you a somewhat lazy smile.

"I asked, miss..." he glanced at the paperwork before letting your name roll off his tongue in a way that made your heart pound slightly. You weren't sure why it did, but some tiny part of your brain was eager to hear him say it again. "what I was going to do with you. You have a clean employment record...aside from all the dismissals due to.." He paused and pulled his glasses down to peer over them to stare the text, his lips moving silently as he read before putting his attention back onto you. "it says here 'staffing issues and personal life interferance'?" Raising a quizzical eyebrow

"I um... I had some issues at home at that time Mr..." Glancing down at the nameplate on his desk, you realised he had never formally introduced himself to you apart from the handshake. "Raglan. I'd rather not talk about it."

"Well, I can't help you find a job if you don't help me help you." The man you now knew as Steve Raglan sighed, giving you another one of those lopsided smiles that made you feel like you were talking to a sweet, disappointed but supportive dad and gave you a pang in your chest that you might be letting this total stranger down.

"You don't have to tell me today, but I want to see you next week and I want you try to open up, tell me about what was going on and I might be able to offer something." Steve offered, gesturing to his pile of potential job prospects. You weren't aware that he was looking at you again, wondering if you purposely had chosen something that obscured your body-type and meant you weren't confident in yourself, or whether financially you had chosen what option was available.

The way you sat there meekly and picking at your nails was somewhat infuriating as he wanted to demand you looked at him when he spoke, but he remained calm. You were probably his most interesting client to date, hunching in on yourself and avoidant of filling in the blanks that your open ended statement had left. He decided he would lay on the charm slightly, see what got you to cave in and perhaps provide some amusement as his mind whirled with too many ideas and desire to move, do something and be far more active than his life as Steve Raglan allowed.

"I guess I'll see you next week then, thank you having me Mr. Raglan." you spoke softly and stood up. Watching as the hulking man stood too and opened the door with a somewhat sad smile, like he was watching a bright student walk down the wrong path in life.

"Of course, please, take this and give me a call if you would like to talk about this matter sooner. I hate to see a young woman like yourself go to waste because of one little hiccup." Another pang went through your chest as he spoke. He really did seem dissapointed in you, and some how, you found that you wanted to please the man you had met barely half an hour before.

As you walked down the corridoor, his eyes lingered on your smaller retreating form and tilted his head to one side, licking his lips to wet them for a moment in thought. He hoped whatever you were hiding from his was worth his time, and would perhaps find him another fun thing to play with.

[weirdmarioenemies]

The Critic's Arrival

It appears we've been visited by some sort of critic. We didn't order any critic! Are you a film critic? Food critic?

"The name's THE Critic- get it right! I ridicule, just out of spite! And now you've got me at your door, You've no idea what you're in for! For I'm The Critic, that's no ruse! I'm here to criticize all youse!"

Oh? You're here to criticize us...? I don't think I like whatever it is you're imply- oh, he's already invited himself in. Okay! So, Mr. The Critic, can I... get you something to drink, I guess? We certainly have a lot of water.

"That's all you offer? You're the worst! Good thing I've not much of a thirst! This living room... it's oh so drab. And are you serious? A CRAB? Your home decor is just no good. I'd burn this poster if I could! You must have all been in the dark, For not a soul likes Wonder Park!"

Come on... Boomer the Ride Tester is funny... right? Is there anything else we can do to make your stay more comfortable? And maybe make you more polite?

"I hope my message makes you cry: This home of yours is much too dry!"

Is that so? At least here in Wet-Dry World, that's easy to fix! I'll just activate this Crystal Tap and raise the water...

"This isn’t any better yet. The whole affair’s now far too wet!"

Oh... how about a more neutral level?

"The moisture level’s at its middle, But I’m afraid, too late too little! You just can't seem to be a winner! Now, with that done, let's have some dinner!"

Okay, I've been trying to be polite, but you can't just be mean to us and expect to receive a free meal for it! Spikey's only made enough potatoes au gratin for us mods!

"Oh, THAT'S the stench? It's just some gratin? I could have sworn something was rotten! I see you're near fed up with me, And knowing that fills me with glee!"

Why are you doing this, The Critic? Why us? What did we do to you?

"Well, here's what's written in my log: You lot all run a Tumblr blog! Where posts are foolish, simply silly, Goofy creatures willy-nilly! You don't need to be analytic To know you're talking to The Critic. It's how I live, it's what I do. I've come here to criticize YOU!"

Hey. Words really hurt, you know that, The Critic? But no matter what you say, you can't break our spirits! We'll post what we want no matter what you say!

"Now comes the part I love the most... rescinding your license to post!"

OUR POSTING LICENSE?! The only thing that legally allows us to post about funny pretend creatures online... you're a monster! Unhand that license this instant!

"Ha ha! Hee hee! It's too much fun! And with that, I'll be on the run! Your permit's all I need to rob. I hope you've got a backup job!"

He's gone. That utter fiend... without our posting license, we're nothing. He's right. We'll need a new job. After all this time, we'll need to return to where it all began, where all of us met for the first time, and where we all worked before starting this blog, but it was never relevant so we never mentioned it...

...the TROUT HATCHERY! See you there...