#ttcrainbowbaby

[ttc-baby]

Today is CD28 I expected AF today but all I had was spotting, no cramps but loads of back pain. I have my hcg draw in the morning. I plan on doing an at home test to see but honestly I’m not sure if I am or not. Symptom wise I’ve been all over the place. My boobs have been sore but not how I would expect them to be. Usually they would be so sore I wouldn’t want to touch them at all. But they are no where near that. The one thing that stands out is my emotions, last week I was bawling my eyes out at 8:30am cause of som BS at work, and randomly this week I’ve had full on cry sessions or had to stop myself from crying about things. So we will see. My guess I’m going to start right after my bloodwork, that’s would be my luck!

[ramonaflowers7x]

Pretty sure this wasn't *originally* about miscarriage, but it certainly fits.

[charlilouise-blog]

Morning all. Well I’m great fun. All emotional last night, not a great mood this morning, feeling all hormonal, I’m a big old grump. The thought of going out isn’t fun either fancy hiding at home instead. But off we go, front on, soon be home. Temps up again but still a long way to go. #ttc #ttcjourney #ttcaftermiscarriage #ttccommunity #ttcsisters #ttcsupport #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #hormones #grumpy #bbt #aftermiscarriage #twoweekwait #depression #anxiety #rainbowbaby🌈 #ttcrainbowbaby

[mjenea-blog]

Starting my morning with a glass of Positive Pink Tea from @pinktoxco this tea is so yummy. And it’s a great tea especially if your are trying to conceive. . . . . . . . . . #ttc #ttcvlog #blackyoutuber #ttcjourney #tryingtoconceive #ttctips #rainbowbaby #ttcrainbowbaby #miscarriageawareness #ttccommunity #ttcjourney #ttcsisters #ttcsupport #miscarriagesupport #miscarriage #ttctribe #journeytobaby #babydust #momtobe #herbs #fertilitytea #infertility #fertility #pinktox #iam1in4 #ttcplussize #tryingforababy #ivf #ivfsupport #ivfcommunity https://www.instagram.com/p/B-euKRvlrz6/?igshid=1v7b1fr1mw3pu

[bejessup-blog]

My early pregnancy loss.

This was supposed to be the first ever photo of our baby. Instead, it’s a blank screen. We should have been 8 weeks pregnant this week, and soon announcing that our bundle of joy was on its way. Instead, those announcement photos mark a time of pure joy now overshadowed by deep sadness. June 7th was supposed to be one of the happiest days of our lives. Instead, it’s a day that will come and go without a baby in our arms.

Miscarriage is something that isn’t talked about enough, but I’m going to. I’m a sharer. I like talking to people and sharing stories and feeling a closeness to others. It’s lonely enough to feel your baby vacate your body without enduring it in silence and secrecy, clouded in stigma and feelings of inadequacy. To not have many people to talk to because you hadn’t announced it to the world yet, despite wanting to shout it from the rooftops every waking second. We did tell people, though. And in these first few days after the loss, at times it has felt like too many people. Too many people to have to share our heartbreak with. But today, it feels like not enough people knew about our greatest joy to date.

I was exactly 7 weeks. 7 weeks is a long time to dream. To tell loved ones and to catch their precious reactions on video, reactions I’ll cherish forever and ever. To plan how we were going to announce it to the world. To window shop online. To check week by week what fruit size the baby was. To imagine the rest of their life. I woke up on my 25th birthday and could sense the baby’s presence, while knowing he or she wouldn’t show up in the way of a second line for a couple more days. It was the greatest birthday gift imaginable, only to be taken away a month later.

We had been trying for seven months and during that seven months our love for our unmade baby had already grown. When we saw the faintest of faint second lines our hearts burst with seven months worth of love, and only amplified as we watched the lines get darker and darker, and then finally getting the digital read out: “Pregnant.” I’m so grateful for that test; that word can never be taken away from us now. Despite only knowing for four weeks, it felt like a lifetime of love and dreams and hopes and excitement had built up and found its home in our hearts. I enjoyed every second of feeling like I had been hit by a train, because I knew that monster headaches and extreme fatigue were physical proof of our growing baby. Those wonderful headaches have now been replaced by cramps and backaches, as if the emotional torment isn’t a sufficient reminder.

Our baby was only the size of a poppy seed the week we got all those second lines, and had graduated all the way to the size of a raspberry in its short life. I know, scientifically speaking, that the baby likely did not make it due to chromosomal abnormalities incompatible with life. As someone who earned a degree in science, that comforts me. It’s nature doing what nature does. Our sweet baby, however loved and celebrated, would not have been healthy. Part of me wanted to keep all the baby apps I had to check in and see how big he or she would be if they had made it, but I just can’t. I painstakingly signed out of all the baby apps I had, feeling like I was abandoning my baby on a doorstep. Like it would continue to grow in some lonely place without me watching it and cheering it on. Nevertheless, I deleted the apps, unsubscribed from the emails, finished the second month in my pregnancy journal, put the few baby things we had purchased and been gifted away, sorted photos and pregnancy tests into bags, wrote a letter to the baby, and put everything away in a box. It was heartbreaking, but therapeutic and necessary.

This isn’t meant to be a pity party. We just want everyone to know, we were going to have a baby. We were deliriously excited. And now we are devastated. We just want this baby to be known and celebrated and remembered. We want everyone to know the joy we felt over this new life. I’ve been working on this post since Thursday, when we confirmed the miscarriage. I’ve been trying to perfect it ever since because I knew immediately that I had to share our baby with the world, that this sweet gift wasn’t something I could hide away. These are some really difficult emotions to process, but I’m so incredibly grateful for my husband and our families and close friends. We’re getting through it together. We’ve been going on lots of walks and lying around and just talking through our endless thoughts. Milestones like the baby’s due date and the upcoming holidays when we would have been announcing our growing bundle of joy are going to be hard, but each day’s burden is somehow becoming more manageable to carry.

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we heal and chase our rainbow baby. We are so very sad, but also so very hopeful for what’s ahead. We firmly believe that the best is yet to come.

“The Lord is close to those who are brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” Psalm 34:18 NLT

[kixcereal]

For the longest time I wanted to keep my the names of my angel babies all to myself and I began to wonder why that was... And the more I thought about it the more I realized that I was afraid of what people might think if they heard that I had chosen to give a gender and name to a baby I lost at 8 weeks, not once but twice 💜💙 but as I look back tonight and reflect on this last year of my life I can't help but wonder who they might have been and I refuse to feel shame for making them real. I refuse to let society make me feel crazy for loving them. I'm not looking to be fixed or healed or cured of my grief... I'm learning to co-exist with it, I'm learning to be happy in spite of all the pain. I'm learning how to balance joy and hope while continuing to honor the memory of the ones who didn't make it. I'm learning to live in a world that makes me feel like I should just shut up about it already and move on...and choosing to tell it to fuck off! And to anyone else out there doing the same, I see you and you got this 💪🏽 #miscarriageawareness #pregnancyandinfantlossawareness #ttc #pcos #miscarriage #recurrentmiscarriage #APS #ttcaftermiscarriage #oneinfour #whitedove #milagros #loreto #laurels #laurelwreath #ttcrainbowbaby #angelbabies https://www.instagram.com/p/B2_XTyAhavJ/?igshid=gdlac8hegumn

[chaz693]

Second Blog on TTC

I have another side blog all about my TTC journey. So if I’ve followed you and your a TTC blog or Pregnancy Blog please follow my TTC blog I’ll add the link to this post. Please follow me over there for all my TTC stuff. I could really do with some friends on that side of things. Thanks :) 

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ttcrainbowbaby

[ttc-baby]

I had my follicle check yesterday, everything was good to go, so we did the trigger shot. Now we wait.

Honestly I was a mess yesterday. My emotions were all over the place. I was in tears over different situations. I pleaded with God for me to be able to forgive people. I’ve been holding onto my feelings about things that happened when we had our miscarriage and its really starting to weigh on me. I don’t think I truly processed all of my emotions, I didn’t have a chance to. I was and am still filling my days with distractions and coping mechanisms to get me to the next day. Which is not healthy. I need to find it in me to forgive people, although I will not forget. I can’t continue to avoid people because of my feelings towards them. Especially with holidays coming, I’m already being pressured into a situation I don’t want to be in this weekend and it’s really wrecking me. Damn I need a therapist..

[ttc-baby]

CD 1

Well we are trying again next month. I had a feeling we weren’t pregnant just cause the symptoms were not there but today confirmed it. I had some cramping and I just knew. At least my dr put in two rounds last time so I can get my prescription refilled. Instead of waiting till Monday and praying they have it in stock.

[ttc-baby]

12dpo 14dpt-

Honestly I feel like we didn’t conceive this month, but I could be wrong. My test yesterday was basically negative and then this morning there was a faint line. So I’m not sure. I will say my symptoms are almost nonexistent. My boobs aren’t really sore, there is still some tenderness to my nips but not anywhere near what I would expect at this point if I was pregnant. I guess we will just wait to see if my period comes!

[ttc-baby]

We are officially on CD1 which has came with cramps and all. I finished my last dose of provera Friday and saw some spotting Saturday and Sunday so I knew it was coming. I’ll call the dr in the morning to set up my follicle scan and the pharmacy for my trigger shot. So we are in full force to make our double rainbow baby!

[ttc-baby]

13dpo 15dpt- not me getting discouraged when the line isn’t as dark as I thought it would be 😒. To be honest the line is about the same as yesterday. Which Monday and Tuesdays were about the same, so if I’m justifying a pattern (and I am for my sanity) I should see progression tomorrow.

Mad far as symptoms go, vivid dreams, breast tenderness, nipple sensitivity, heighten sense of smell, fatigue, and I have had some adversities to scents, by adversity I mean makes me wanna gag.

I have my beta tomorrow with my obgyn, with the holiday I prob won’t get results till next Wednesday. 😒 maybe not but since they draw the blood in house and send it out it takes them much longer to get results back.

Till then I’m just going to keep praying and keep test 😅 cause that’s going to calm my nerves.

[ttc-baby]

Tbh this TWW is killing me!! Also so are my boobs 😫 I was super hormonal today.. like ready to give my husband a piece of my mind lol my fuse was so short that ANYTHING he was doing was annoying me. I’ve got my fingers and toes crossed that we made a baby. Hopefully we can find out this weekend and not have to wait till I’m a week late like last time. I’ll keep you posted 😝

[ttc-baby]

Well my results came back and my level was to low to indicate pregnancy. So now we wait till af and try again. I’ve been testing for ovulation to see if I am having a peak and it seems like it’s rising so maybe the spotting I had we a fucked up period and now I’m about to ovulate.. who know really.

The doctor did say it could have been a chemical pregnancy where I wasn’t pregnant at all or the pregnancy wasn’t viable so my body absorbed the cells which would explain me not having bleeding.

[ttc-baby]

I went and got a blood test today. I had them do a beta hcg test so I can know the level it is at if I am pregnant, that will give me more peace of mind considering I can’t get a positive at home test. Doctor said I should know something tomorrow or the next day by the latest. So I’m praying real hard tonight.

The nausea has been real the last two days. The breast tenderness has been coming in hot today too!

Tbh I was anxious about going, cause obviously I don’t want bad news. So I was thinking of waiting till the end of the week but I changed my mind cause I’d rather know sooner than later. I really just need to know…

[ttc-baby]

Yay got the first high fertility day!! Time to BD