#ts: 2003

[yourgoldennotebook]

the lover diary entries: 2003

[alexandriaellisart]

afternoons

[topgunyaoi]

zd stamps hi

[andre-and-cal]

My analysis on Andre and Cal’s grisly desires before, during, and after Zero Day,,

Ever since he and Cal’s yearnings for “getting even” were roused, Andre wanted to see the life drain from his victims’ eyes in person. Not from some stupid gore video or weird snuff film he and Cal had watched for the shock value, no. When the trajectory of his thoughts would shift to Zero Day, he wanted to see what his victims were going to experience when they drifted away, which would result from the potentially immediate lethality of where the bullet would penetrate their anatomy. Though, Andre’s patience lapsed, so he refused to allow many of his peers to remain within the stage of bleeding out.

I feel that while he wanted to focus on ending his victims’ lives, he also wanted to make them suffer mentally. Also, he wanted himself and Cal to be seen as their peers’ superiors. For a time, Andre mused on whether or not he was as fucked up as he thought, or if he was embodying a psychological wound he’d received at birth. But soon, he was quickly compelled to the conclusion that it didn’t matter and that he shouldn’t have felt guilty, even though those feelings had dimly lingered for a short interval.

During the shooting, he experienced intense grandiosity similarly to Calvin. Both boys are intelligent, having known what their own purposes of perpetrating the shooting were from the get-go. However, Andre’s like an executioner… he wasn’t thinking about how his peers feel. Well, at least— he didn’t think about it to gain a sense of accomplishment or to repair a bruised ego. Instead, he found it incredibly fascinating how the bodies of his classmates dropped so quickly, as if in the blink of an eye.

Or at the crack of a gun.

With what Andre saw during the massacre, he was able to make connections with how some of his victims appeared as though they were in some kind of video game. And in a couple ways, it somewhat felt that way to him— like he and Cal were the protagonists and their peers were nothing but targets, but “enemies”. Granted, the sight of someone actually dying is nothing like how it’s portrayed in movies. It’s brutal and quick, as he’d observed that death’s presence is mean. Yet, this whole time, Andre had been fixated on escaping the school and fleeing from the cops— he hadn’t truly believed it was his time to die until he and Cal were finished hunting their classmates... until Cal helped him see that they had nothing left to lose but themselves to the cops. Besides, they didn’t have much of a positive future now that they’d carried out a school shooting— they were only left with mere fragments of previous hopes and dreams they’d had when they were kids.

Andre ignored the operator on one student, Omar’s, phone— because not only did he exhibit such invisibly resistant behavior aimed at the police, but he also no longer cared about his only chance of getting out of Zero Day. Additionally, throughout the massacre, he was quick to respond obediently to Cal’s various commands, because he was fully aware that Calvin knew best. Prison wasn’t an option, and it was never going to be an option.

He was going to have to tear the shackles chaining his feet to Iroquois High School, even if that meant needing to sever both limbs, both benefiting and harming him in the process. Thus, death would handle him in the kindest manner.

Cal derived pleasure from watching his victims writhe in agony and terror during their last moments. He liked knowing that they were in utmost danger and fear, seeking security while aware that he was the danger. He also enjoyed knowing that in their heads, they were probably treating him and Andre like the tyrannical teenagers they were.

Their peers had never felt so final.

They were likely begging— albeit internally— to whatever god they were taught to believe. In all likelihood, they were attempting to petition for forgiveness for the sake of staying alive, for the sake of living to see the sunrise the next day. They made up excuses in reference to how it’s not their time, how they didn’t know that this would happen. But he and Andre were the only existent “gods” then. Their faith was not on their side— in fact, it only served to work against them. And their victims had the nerve to pitifully scream spare them— for which, both boys exercised no mercy; there were no traces of humanity left within them… especially Cal. He wondered how the deceased had felt prior as they succumbed to exhaustion, having lost liters of blood— perhaps relief? He wondered, too, if they were able grasp the truths of no longer living once his rounds punctured one of their vital organs.

Cal could guess what their internal voices consisted of from the time he’d held the barrel of his carbine up toward his moving targets, to when he’d blown a hole in them at point blank range.

Cal found that vision satisfying in an extremely sick sense. Because he knew he felt differently from others during their final moments… essentially, compared to he and Andre’s victims, Cal was ready to die. And while Andre was anxious, real anxious to commit suicide, he was just as ready to fall next to his comrade, his companion. Once Andre decided he was done firing at their classmates and then felt the now-warm barrel of his shotgun nudging the underside of his chin, he’d made his final decision.

But Calvin wondered what he and Andre would look like after they blew their heads off. Would they fossilize like extinct animals? Would a tree grow over them? Maybe even some small flowers? Cal found the idea of becoming a part of nature desirable. He found the whole “after death” thought peaceful— he felt that it’d be better than existing here, as the whole morbid stigma surrounding the decaying of a body was unsettlingly real.

Cal knew that he and Andre’s bodies would rot somewhere, though. Everyone dies, after all. But his understanding that he was going out with him and no one else gave him a rush like nothing else could. He was eager to fade out. He was eager to see what happens after death.

[ciitor]

you will watch klass (2007) by Ilmar Raag

[microfeelings]

That meme everyone's doing, but I have shit memory so instead of first comfort character its second to last

[biomic]

we're so back.

[climbingonroofs]

I am very curious now, if you don't mind I'd like to ask about your proofreading work with FMA, which were those unfortunate spellings Japan was having and which ones were the most funny?

Oh boy, that's a very fair question but it's been… at least 12 years now…. welp

I remember at least Gracia Hughes somehow becoming Glacier, which?? Rumor has it Arakawa used a dictionary of European names to create her characters, so I doubt it was the original intent? (It's made funnier by the fact it's the common noun for a male ice cream maker in French)

It was mostly the secondary characters Going Through It though, like Greed's team or the bookworm-turned-librarian. Poor girl navigated between Polish and Russian spelling for a while, from Scieszka to Sciezka to ultimately Sheska.

[slushee4brains]

how I'm looking at my fucking therapist when she tells me to get on TrevorSpace to find a boyfriend????? idk Sarah I'm not that desperate

[daily-tangled-disney]

All of my blogs!

If you would like to check out and/or follow any of them.

My Personal blog = caught-and-lost-in-the-darkness

My Nature blog = lovely-beautiful-nature 

My Harley Quinn blog = lovely-harley-quinn

My Teen Titans blog = lovely-teen-titans

My Disney blog = lovely-disney4e

My Descendants blog = lovely-descendants

My Tangled blog = daily-tangled-disney

My Taylor Swift blog = made-of-starlight-taylor-swift

My Taylor Swift Art blog = wonderstruck-by-taylor-swift-art 

My Taylor Swift Black/White blog = love-would-be-black-n-white-ts 

[caught-and-lost-in-the-darkness]

All of my blogs!

If you would like to check out and/or follow any of them.

My Personal blog = caught-and-lost-in-the-darkness

My Nature blog = lovely-beautiful-nature 

My Harley Quinn blog = lovely-harley-quinn

My Teen Titans blog = lovely-teen-titans

My Disney blog = lovely-disney4e

My Descendants blog = lovely-descendants

My Tangled blog = daily-tangled-disney

My Taylor Swift blog = made-of-starlight-taylor-swift

My Taylor Swift Art blog = wonderstruck-by-taylor-swift-art 

My Taylor Swift Black/White blog = love-would-be-black-n-white-ts 

[ivccseap]

RDBMS TELUGU MEDIUM

RDBMS TM

[stevenssticks]

Heyy P , was missin uu girl . 😭🙏🏾 how you been ??

.. while I was typing ts my page got reloaded . 🥸🤦🏾‍♀️ ..

Thinking ab Kirk rn . Nothing too hard

Around 2003 when they were making SKOM , he’s coming home to his girl after a long day . He js wants to be with his baby , he’s been putting up w everyone all day . He’s smothering you in smooches and hugging you so tight you might stop breathing . Little “I love you’s ” here nd there , you guys just end up talking and your in his arms and he’s stroking your hair . 🙁🙏🏾

( I’m delusional as fuck . 😜👆🏾 )

- 🌎 anon !

this has been in my drafts for like weeks 🌎 anon i’m so sorry!

istg early 2000s kirk is one of my favorites. he looks grumpy all the time tho. like what was goin awn in 2003.

anyways, kirk would be so sweet to his girl at the end of the day, all tired and cuddly. i bet he would just drag you to bed with his day clothes still on, push u down onto the bed and lay his head on your chest immediately. just needing someone to scratch his head and play with his hair while he rests a lil. oajsmzbxkdn

[k1tty-st4rz]

Hiii!! Do you have any headcanons for Roxie or Matthew Patel in terms of Agere?? I think they’re super underrated and would love to hear your thoughts!!

i have a teensy bit :3 sidenote i haven't slept in 2 days uwu

Roxie Richter & Matthew Patel Agere Headcanons

ROXIE

regresses to 3-5 maybe

she doesn’t have a cg :[ but the league help take care of her, esp Todd (they are mlm & wlw solidarity)

she LOVESSS bunnies ^_^ she has a pale pink fluffy bunny stuffie names Bun-Bun

no swords around her >:[ she hates that rule even tho she was the one who put it in place

is a very hyper baby!!  she has to be doing something or she’ll whine and fuss

very giggly!! <3

also really likes Squishmallows :3 she likes the smaller ones more than the big ones

^ really likes Cameron the cat and Blake the bunny

plays with ninja action figures

would think she’s being too rowdy so she goes up to Todd, Lucas or whoever’s taking care of her and ask if she’s burdening them or annoying them :[

i think she would like the 2003 Strawberry Shortcake series

MATTHEW

regresses to 2-6

his hipster demon chicks are his caregivers!! :D

little Mattie can’t control his fire powers very well which has unfortunately cause burnt holes in clothing

he likes watching The Dragon Prince and Bollywood movies (if they can find an appropriate one ofc) if he’s more older 

Matthew speaks Hindi!!  i personally think since the demon chicks are kinda connected to his mind, so can they :3 they speak Hindi when Matthew’s small (3-4) n they call him pyaar & priy <33333

He mostly wears black sweatpants, baggy tees and his jacket (ts a comfort item :])

Likes TMNT and Scooby Doo

he babbles!! :3 mostly just when he’s two he goin’ ‘babababa’ and the hipster demon chicks find it SOOOO CUTE <3333

A/N did y'all know i can speak Hindi :0

[starvember-moved]

list of fictional characters that make me feel safe / i'd regress around below thencut [constantly updating]:

bj honeycut + hawkeye pierce [m.a.s.h.]

klinger [m.a.s.h]

margaret [m.a.s.h]

olivia benson [law and order: svu]

literally anyone on the bau team [criminal minds]

lottie matthews <3 [yellowjackets]

laura lee [yellowjackets]

nat s. [yellowjackets]

daisy jones [dj&t6]

karen sirko [dj&ts]

warren rojas [dj&ts]

pietro [acnh]

lucky [acnh]

bucky barnes [marvel]

doctor stephen strange [marvel]

nat + yelena [marvel]

sam wilson [marvel]

carebears

strawberry shortcake (specifically the big!version from 2003 version)

the human sisters from the og mlp

[a-man-for-hire-and-his-archives]

‘I’ve starred in The Archers for 20 years but could never afford my own farm’

Fame & Fortune: The BBC actor on money mistakes, theatre hecklers, and his 20-year radio stint

Andrew Wincott, who plays Adam Macy on BBC Radio 4’s The Archers, joined the cast in 2003 (Credit: Gary Moyes/The Archers)

Andrew Wincott is an actor, best known for playing Adam in the BBC Radio 4 drama The Archers, which he joined 20 years ago. After studying English and then doing teacher training at Oxford, the 61-year-old taught for two years before going to Webber Douglas drama school, where fellow actors Hugh Bonneville and Rebecca Front were contemporaries.

He then worked on the regional theatre circuit, and later became a member of the BBC Radio Drama Company, before joining the cast of The Archers in 2003. The father of one lives in Clapham, south London.

How did your start in life affect your outlook on money?

My two brothers and I grew up in Oxfordshire where my parents ran a catering business.

But the 1970s were a difficult time for a lot of businesses, so after 10 years enjoying an idyllic life in the countryside, we moved into the flat above the restaurant and cake shop the family owned, Wincott’s, in Banbury.

Work always came first for my parents, so for a number of years we didn’t go away in the summer.

Did you receive pocket money?

Yes, and I spent it on Marvel comics, and later on albums like Pink Floyd's The Dark Side Of The Moon and Wish You Were Here, which I played endlessly in the mid-70s.

What was your first job?

After leaving school in 1978, before going to university, I worked at the Dragon Prep School in Oxford doing a variety of jobs, one of which involved keeping the headmaster’s drinks cupboard well-stocked, and serving gin and tonics at garden parties.

The G&Ts I poured were notoriously generous. Occasionally I even got to ‘sample’ the headmaster’s gin myself.

But my first proper acting job, which also secured my Equity card [a trade union for the performing arts], came after I gatecrashed an audition in 1987 and landed the part of Alec in Tess of the D’ Urbervilles at the Orchard Theatre Company in Barnstaple, which toured the West Country.

Wincott says starring in The Archers is like having ‘a second family’. Pictured here with Stephen Kennedy and Mairead McKinley (Credit: The Archers/David Burges)

How long did you work in regional theatre for? Was it lucrative?

The best part of a decade, appearing everywhere from Colchester to Perth, and Harrogate to Theatr Clwyd in Wales, doing both Shakespeare and modern plays, often playing leading roles.

Money was minimal – I was paid about £160-£170 a week on my first acting job – but the Equity Touring allowance helped.

Regional theatre allowed me to hone my skills as an actor. Once, I was heckled by an inebriated audience member who loudly greeted every entrance I made in Tess with a cry of “Asshole!”.

However, you just have to stay focused. He was gone by the interval – probably back to the bar. This was in Falmouth, now affectionately rebranded among friends as “Foulmouth”!

Have you experienced any lean times as an actor?

It took me nine months to land my first proper acting job, and until then I was working on the fringe – just earning expenses, or profit sharing if I was lucky.

Most actors have good years and bad years. So you have to set aside money to see you through the lean spells, as well as save enough to pay your tax bill at the end of the year.

How did you land the part of Adam in The Archers?

I actually played a Danish agricultural student for a few months in the 1990s – but then, a decade or so later, I was invited to audition with a dozen other actors for the role of Adam at Pebble Mill in 2003.

I heard nothing for 10 days, but was then asked to come back for a recall [second audition] and was offered the role.

Now, it's like having a second family. This month I’ve been a cast regular for almost exactly 20 years. Providing you aren’t written out (or killed off), there’s a certain security.

Coincidentally, my mother grew up on a Home Farm [a key location in the radio drama] and went to the same school, although not at the same time, as Godfrey Baseley, who created The Archers.

Does The Archers pay enough for you to buy a farm of your own?

The cast only works on The Archers for about one week in the month – we record blocks of episodes several weeks ahead of transmission – and radio pays somewhere between theatre and television.

So I doubt it would pay for a farm in the UK, though it might eventually just pay for a small farmhouse in rural Andalucia, where I enjoy spending time.

So who knows? I might become a Spanish granjero and grow olives one day.

You also find time to record audiobooks and video games?

I’ve recorded hundreds of audiobooks and video games over the last 15 years or so. An audiobook takes days, if not weeks, to prepare and then record in studio.

I’ve voiced everything from The Wind in the Willows to Nineteen Eighty-Four and the classics of Flaubert.

But it's hard work for often little reward. It can be fun creating bizarre voices for elves, orks or extraterrestrials in fantasy books, but the concentration required when the red light is on is second to none.

It's just you, the words on the page and the voices in your imagination.

In addition to his role on the BBC’s longest-running drama, Wincott has recorded hundreds of audiobooks and video games. Pictured with Stephen Kennedy (Credit: BBC/PA)

Have you got a pension?

Yes, I took out an Equity pension through my union years ago and still pay into it. I also have a SIPP.

What’s been your best investment?

The investment I made in going to drama school in the mid-1980s. Doing that gave me classical training as an actor. I probably wouldn’t be in The Archers today without that.

Do you own a property?

Yes, a second floor, two-bedroom flat in a property in Clapham, south London, dating back to the 1900s. I bought it for £60,000 in 1991, though it’s now worth a considerable six-figure sum, I imagine.

It’s an excellent location for getting in and out of town.

Are you a spender or a saver?

Instinctively a saver. As an actor you never know what’s around the corner, and we know if we're working there will be tax to pay. Not to mention investing for the future.

What’s your greatest financial indulgence?

Every now and then, I'll spend a few days in southern Spain, specifically Las Alpujarras – the foothills of the Sierra Nevada – where I can recharge my batteries, or prepare a book for audio in tranquility. I'm learning Spanish now, too.

What has been your worst financial decision?

Buying into the Woodford Equity Investment Fund, as part of my SIPP.

Although Neil Woodford was considered a star fund manager, the fund collapsed and the administrator is now embroiled in collective litigation to recoup losses. Never a dull moment.

Do you donate to charity?

Yes, Art Fund, which facilitates the acquisition of artworks for the nation. Doing so also entitles you to half-price admission to special exhibitions, such as those at the Tate, the Courtauld or the National Gallery.

Do you plan to do a June Spencer (Peggy Archer) and still be in The Archers when you’re 100?

Who knows? The Archers is an extraordinary institution, part of our cultural fabric as a farming nation – it boasts such longevity, too.

Maybe my character will outlive me? I'd like to think he will… before the next generation takes over.

The Archers, Radio 4, weekdays at 7pm; Omnibus edition, Sundays at 10am

Source: The Telegraph