#tryna get bro to make friends with npcs

[howlsofbloodhounds]

I like to imagine that this is what it’s like to be the something new player/chara and attempt to control killer

[maliciousspirit]

-turntechGodhead began pestering tentacleTherapist-

TG: have you heard from john anytime recently

TT: No, I can’t say I have. Why?

TG: bro hasnt responded to anything lately

TG: all the trolls either

TT: Jade has gone AWOL as well. I believe all of this could be considered noteworthy. Of course, only if you deign to consider our friends as incentive to actually listen to me.

TG: i honestly do not believe your freaky psychic shit

TG: shits redundant

TG: jade already gives out prophetic dreams like candy

TG: dont need any more obscure puzzle pieces to try n fit into this insane game

TT: Precisely. Jade telling us something from the future is commonplace. My visions are far more important.

TG: sure why not

TG: lets say your freaky psychic crap is right

TG: what am i supposed to do about that

TG: already conferred with the crocodile bros on lohac

TG: they werent any help

TG: they just squawked at me

TG i didnt know crocodiles could squawk

TT: Dave. Cease your inane rambling for thirty seconds while I attempt to drill my point into your brain, if you even have one.

TG: heard

TG: drill away

TT: If I am correct, John and Jade are dead. We are the only remnants of life left in this game. We’re alone.

TG: and what am i supposed to do about that

TG: cant go serenading their ghosts from their window

TG: wherefore art thou romeo

TG: and all that jazz

TT: Get your head out of your ass, Strider. You are the Knight of Time.

TG: uh huh and hows that helped us so far

TT: Shut up. We can handle this. It must be meticulously planned, and could end up in both of our sacrifices as well, but we can bring them back.

TT: You just need to warn John and Jade about it before they disappeared. When was the last time you spoke to John?

TG: when i prototyped calsprite

TG: actually can i just kill my past self for making that idiot decision

TG: i dont care if it causes a paradox bro

TG: i was an idiot

TT: Sure, we can arrange that. But that actually works out quite nicely if you think about it.

TT: You can prototype yourself into the kernelsprite instead of Cal. They are quite attracted to doomed or dead things, correct? You would be doomed yourself once you go back and change history.

TG: rose you ingenious bastard

TG: remind me to never question you again

TT: Noted. Does your time travel have any sort of limit?

TG: not that i know of

TT: We should try and progress through the game as much as we can before saving John. You can then buff your past self up and we can propel their game session forward.

TG: dope

TG: weve got this

-tentacleTherapist began pestering turntechGodhead-

TT: Dave.

TT: You cannot ignore me forever. You have not attempted to reach out to me in a week. It is not like you to be this withdrawn.

TT: If you are dead I am going to be very disappointed in you.

TG: nah im alive

TG: allegedly

TG: i could be typing this as a corpse though

TG: or i could be a crocodile pretending to be dave

TT: I’m sure. Are you trapped in whatever unnecessary time travel roller coaster you have would be helpful again?

TG: shut up

TG: ive got time travel down pat

TG: shits rudimentary, dear watson

TT: Elementary. Elementary, my dear Watson, not rudimentary.

TG: whatever

TG: ive been busy

TT: With what?

TG: trying to find my bro

TG: feels like planets empty though

TG: like were seeing the empty textures when you glitch through the floors in zelda

TT: It does resemble that, yes. Why are you trying to find your brother? I would think you would have been happy without his authoritative abuse.

TG: bro wasnt abusive

TG: stop tryna lobotomize me

TT: Apologies. My preconceived notions of him seem to have infiltrated my perceptions of him.

TT: However, I do have an actual reason for messaging you. The consorts on my planet are becoming increasingly more frenzied.

TT: I believe their status as NPC entities has caused them to begin to deteriorate, as our timeline is doomed. Considering their populace on both your planet and mine, a large percentage are dying every day.

TG: and

TG: this genre of panic has really run its course

TG: cool were doomed

TG: anything new

TT: I’m going to ignore your omission of empathy.

TG: sorry

TG: just tired of being freaked out

TT: Of course. Everyone knows a Strider must be reluctant for any sort of emotion. Did your brother teach you that, too?

TG: shut up

TG: you dont know what youre talking about

TT: It could practically become the Strider slogan. “New and improved- now emotionless.”

TT: It is quite reassuring that you are indifferent to our imminent deaths.

TG: your imminent death

TG: i just gotta be fused with a crow for the rest of my life

TG: become a feathery asshole and peck your past selfs eyes out

TT: Are you done?

TG: yeah sorry

TG: game’s got my stress taut

TG: pullin more than a truck outta mud

TT: What is that supposed to mean?

TG: no clue

TG: just that the syndicated crap the game has put us through is getting real old

TG: what do you think is behind the scenes

TG: im starting to think its those chess piece dudes

TG: never trusted them

TT: You’re going to regret blaming them when I vindicate their case.

TT: The carapacians are innocent. Most of them are just peasants under the Derse and Prospit royalty.

TG: my bad

TG: obviously the mastermind is a bald con artist

TG: got lockpicks down his throat and shit

TT: Have you been watching John’s movies?

TG: …

TG: no

TG: im gonna go kill some more cyclops dudes see ya

TT: Don’t you run off, I’m not done!

-turntechGodhead ceased pestering tentacleTherapist!-